#am i finally facing the consequences of my shitty posture

[neonsbian]

my upper back is killing me, like more than usual, and im tryna think of what i did to fuck it up and i can't think of anything

[raynnawrites]

Troubled Highness

Warnings: Fluff, comforting, swearing

Synopsis: After two years on the throne, negativity starts to get the King. Good thing he has help.

“Well, well, well, look who finally decided to get out of bed!” T’Challa teased as you dragged your feet and sat on your usual spot.

“Fuck off.”

T’Challa faked an offended look.

“My, my… so early and already in such a bad mood. Might I add that disrespecting the King has consequences?” The King spoke again with a smug smile and gave you your usual cup of coffee.

“My best friend’s under that shitty crown.” You replied, opening your sleepy eyes and seeing T’Challa’s small smile.

“Indeed he is. But, since I am a friend and not a King here, tell me… what did you do last night?” T’Challa asked you, taking a sip from his own coffee.

You sniffled and chuckled.

“Me and Nakia went out for some drinks. Do I look that fucked up?” You replied as T’Challa laughed.

“No, ‘Mani. Not at all. But, your eyes are red and tiny.” He smiled, seeing you groan.

Once you finished your coffee and had breakfast with T’Challa, you both headed out and started your usual busy day.

“I have a meeting with the council in 5 minutes. We still have a lot to talk about!” T’Challa told you, as you nodded, “good luck!” You teased as he sent you an annoyed glare and rolled his eyes. You laughed and kept working on the reports he had sent you before.

You walked over to the office you were lucky enough to share with the Wakandan King and transferred the data to your desk, where you opened a bigger screen and continued to work.

Not soon after, the sliding doors opened to reveal Princess Shuri, T’Challa’s younger sister.

“Good morning, Amani! You look beautifully radiant this morning!” She smiled, making you chuckle and sigh.

“What did you break?”

Shuri gasped.

“Me break something? Never! I just wanted to see where my beloved brother was.” Shuri replied, “where is my brother?” Shuri then asked as she looked to his empty desk.

“He’s in a meeting,” you replied, seeing Shuri frown. “So early? Those elders will make him go grey sooner than I thought.”

You laughed at Shuri’s comment.

“But, nevertheless… When he is done, tell him to come to my lab! The updates for his suit have been completed and he needs to try it out. Oh, and tell him to bring you with him. He’s already kicked enough things in my lab.”

You chuckled, “he’ll bring me anyways.”

The Princess left and you remained alone, smiling to yourself.

Shuri was always kind to you, but not so much to her bigger brother, all in sibling fun. But you couldn’t help but to wonder what type of update she came up with now.

While you typed away, checking and answering reports, your eyes grew tired of staring at a screen and sighed. You rubbed her eyes and took deep breaths, fixing your posture and continued with the work.

Time passed by and you were able to get a good chunk of work done. Proud of your progress, you found motivation and kept on typing away what you were allowed. Certain paperwork was for the King only.

“Bast…”, you heard in a husky voice.

You looked up and saw T’Challa, who seemed as annoyed as ever. You couldn’t help but to giggle.

“These elders need help.”

“Tell me everything, T.”

T’Challa sat at his own desk and began to tell you everything.

You laughed most of the time, but felt bad for your friend.

“You don’t happen to have any pills there, do you?” T’Challa asked as you checked in the drawers, “headache?”, “yes.”

You gave the pills to the annoyed King and bottled water.

“I am starting to think they doubt I can be a good king.” T’Challa suddenly said, sad face in full effect.

You felt your heart sink.

“And you believe that?” You asked him, seeing T’Challa look up at you. That sad face made you tear up. Already you missed his usual smile.

“They constantly doubt me and my rules, Shuri does the same and even Mama. Whenever I ask her if I am doing a bit better she remains quiet… I don’t think I am cut out for this…” T’Challa spoke, voice low and shaky.

T’Challa then stood and rushed out.

Shuri could wait, but for now, you needed to help this troubled king.

You saved everything once more and rushed out as well, looking for T’Challa.

“Okoye!” You called, seeing said General turn and smile.

“Have you seen T’Challa?”

“No. Is everything alright?”, Okoye’s grip on her staff tightened.

You sighed, “he’s okay, but he’s going through a tough time. If anyone asks-”

“The King is unavailable. I know.” Okoye replied as you nodded and kept looking for T’Challa.

You then got an idea of where your best friend could be. You ran to the gardens and found him in the gazebo. Catching your breath, you slowly walked over to the gazebo, going up the few steps.

“T’Challa?” You called softly.

Said man turned and revealed crying eyes.

“T’Challa… you don’t have to go through this! You know the elders criticize everything! That ain’t your fault!” You cooed as you got to T’Challa’s side and rubbed circles on his broad back.

“It is not just the elders, Amani. It is everything. I have been at this for two years already, and I see no change. I do not feel any different. If anything, I feel worse, I feel… I feel like I am not good enough.” T’Challa admitted, tears rolling down his eyes.

You felt anger bubbling in your chest. T’Challa has been one of the best Kings Wakanda has ever had.

He was intelligent, kind, humble, and strong. The people loved their humble King. As a son he had more than just fulfilled his role and he was an incredible big brother.

He was also an amazing friend.

Composing yourself, you took a deep breath and felt T’Challa lean on you. You welcomed him and held him as he softly cried. You hated seeing T’Challa cry, but if it was needed to cleanse, then you were here for him. As always.

“T’Challa, you’re better than whatever they think. You’ve been an amazing King, brother and friend. Please stop listening to those old fuckers.”

T’Challa laughed at your last statement.

“It’s just… hard.” T’Challa said, as you sighed, “I know. I’ve seen what you had to do, but take it from me. Forget everyone else, you’re an amazing King, son and best friend. I promise. I’m not lying.” You replied.

T’Challa trusted you, and believed you, feeling himself calm down and stop his crying.

“Come on, let’s get you back to your room.”

While you went up to his room, he hung on to your arm. Once you reached his room and saw him enter, you saw that he stopped from closing the door.

“Stay…” he whispered as you gave a hesitant nod. You walked inside of the King’s room and went to his bedroom.

“Want some tea? You know it can help you relax.” You offered as he nodded and started taking his shirt off.

As T’Challa changed, you went to his kitchen and got the tea bags and kettle. You filled the kettle and waited.

Once it began to whistle, you poured the water into the mug, along with the tea bag and let it sit for a few minutes.

When the tea was ready, you saw T’Challa behind you, staring at you with tired eyes.

“Cheer up, T. I cleared most of your work and now you get to rest.”

T’Challa chuckled, “I would love to stay in for the day, but after this I must head out once more. The day is not over yet.”

You gave him a glare.

“The King isn’t feeling well. If anyone fucks with you, I’ll just call Okoye so she can spear them from behind.”

T’Challa laughed as you gave him the mug.

“Come on, back to bed with you.” You then said as T’Challa laughed again. It felt good hearing him laugh again.

Once he got to his bedroom and then his bed, you turned.

“Wait!”

You turned back around to face the King’s bed.

“Stay… here…?” He begged.

You only sighed and closed the door and went to the bed, seeing his eyes shine. You blushed furiously, but thanks to your rich, dark melanin, the proof was nowhere to be seen.

You styled your curls into a comfortable bun and laid under the covers, feeling T’Challa’s arms wrap around your waist and keep you close to him.

“Thank you, mhlobo wam. It means a lot” T’Challa suddenly spoke, making you smile, “of course. Anything to make you feel better. But I’m going down there and givin’ those ol’ fucks a piece of my mind tomorrow.”

T’Challa chuckled, “it shall truly be a show. Okoye must record it.”

You shared a laugh before calming down and drifting into a calm sleep. But before you fully succumbed to the slumber, you couldn’t help but to feel a blossoming warmth in your chest.

Unbeknownst to you… T’Challa felt the same.

~

Translation:

mhlobo wam = my dear

~

A/N: This is my first T’Challa one-shot! Let me know what you thought and if I should write more for T’Challa.

If you would like to be added to the “T’Challa Taglist” let me know!

~

[lilyrachelcassidy]

Summer Nights (2)

A/N: Is that... is that...? The unbridled enthusiasm I’m hearing? Or are you trying to reach me with torches and pitchforks for being so untrustworthy? Assuming the first option.

Anyway -- Yes, as I promised, this is the second part of the Summer Nights which you would hopefully enjoy. Waiting for your feedback. It’s the INDEX if you need a refresher.

ALSO, I give a lot of credit to @drawlfoy and @bored-and-botheredwho helped me with editing this chapter and steamed off my emotional breakdown related to my writing (lmao). I love you so much gals and a big THANK U once more!!!

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: coarse language; alcohol; Narcissa turning into a shitty-mother (lol)

Tags: @war-sword @paradigmax @winnsmills @idkatee@bforbroadway @okaydraco

The next thing Draco knew, he was being woken up with a massive hangover in the snuggly, way-too-comfortable bed by the high-pitched squeal of his mother.

"You, darling, made a lot of trouble for yourself yesterday," Narcissa admonished her son, a glacial cool look on her face. Entering Draco's hotel apartment, she walked over to the window and opened the drapes with one swift movement, splashing an annoyed Draco with light. He groaned, not yet daring to complain due to his mother's livid mood, to say the least.

"You have no idea of what happened yesterday, do you?"

"Yyy-" was the only sound he could make. God, where to the fuck was he? He hadn't been this plastered in forever.

"Of course you don't." Narcissa shook her head and laughed nervously, although she made it plainly obvious there was nothing humorous about the situation. "You blacked out so hard in that sleazy bar there is no way you can recall anything from yesterday. Look at you -- you are squinting at me like I'm the sun!"

Draco nervously ran his finders through his disheveled hair. He was definitely not in the right mind to provoke the conflict. "I left you the note at the reception," he informed her, trying to slickly get out of the unenviable conversation. "Told the receptionist to hand it over."

Contrary to his mother's accusatory ascertainment, he actually had some glimpses of the previous night (or should he say an all-night rave?). There were for sure drinks -- a lot of drinks; a variety of kinds he didn't recognize from the magical world but still guzzled delightfully. The second recollection was dancing --which wasn't his intention, but with some luck of his -- got invited by some hot-looking chicks from across the table. And yes, he definitely remembers the swaying and the rhythmical moving of the hips along with some cheesy muggle vibes mixed with the smell of booze and weed. Maybe he even hooked up with one of the girls? The last thing he recollects before passing out, almost like through a haze, was seeing Narcissa's furious face screaming something incoherent at him. Overall, that's his all night wrapped in one.

"Do you think the mere note 'I will be fine' was going to calm down my shattered nerves? Draco Lucius Malfoy, I swear to our dear ancestors, I did not raise you to act so irresponsibly." She waved the finger at him warningly. “We come from rich history. You are the descendant from a line of successful forefathers who put their effort into building up our reputation. Do you think Lucius would approve of such unrestrained behavior? I’ve been already hearing of letting you be too careless. Is tha-"

"Mother, could we skip the lecture?" Draco snapped angrily, try as he might to suppress it. "I've heard it too many times. All I’m trying to have is a peaceful life. Without the prying eyes of the media and the meddling of my family..."

"And all I’m trying to have is an integrated, happy family to offer you support and love.” Draco opened his mouth to cut her in, but she shushed him with a wave, clearly suggesting 'Don’t even get me started’ meaning. “I’ve been- been trying  to get a job, going through the infelicitous job interviews and looking for a solution to help our household through the post-war crisis. Have you shown any interest in that? Any?"

"But mo-"

"The last thing I want to have on my mind is dealing with your ignorant, boyish transitional stages, and let me tell you -- you do not make it any easier for me," she said without taking a breath. She exhaled slowly and continued, this time forcing a softer tone. "I ask you one thing for this summer. Let it be an enjoyable time without unnecessary conflicts. We have come to the beautiful country as France. Let's make a good thing out of it."

Draco, who was already wide awake by the buzz of adrenaline, looked at her with a serious expression. Scanning her face made him suddenly realize how hard must it have been for her to bear everything, and seeing the bags of tiredness under her beautiful, hazel eyes stopped him from retorting. "Mother, no matter what happens, I'll always support you. Remember that."

Narcissa smiled. “Oh. I know, honey, I know.” This time she lowered her voice by two octaves, slowly sitting at the edge of the bed. “It’s just… people have been gossiping behind our backs lately, partly throwing the blame at us. All I’m trying to do is protect us from those tormentors. But your binge drinking is not making the deadlock any better, and it drives me mad.” She chortled a little bit and patted Draco’s palm. “So, until the rumors die down, all we can do is raise our chins high.” Narcissa ended, her voice encouraging yet plaintive.

The last thing Draco liked is seeing his mother on the verge of emotional exhaustion, like in this moment. He felt an instant surge of sympathy, so he quickly found himself locking Narcissa in the supportive embrace. She responded to the gesture by wrapping her arms around her son’s neck and stroking his cheek delicately with the back of her hand, just like in the old times. Both of them yearningly wished to come back to those years of frivolity.

"I promise I'll try to be better," Draco said with certainty. Seeing Narcissa’s eyes light up in gratefulness and the smiley dimples form on her features, he assured himself it was the right thing to say at that mother-son moment.

“How could I be so lucky to have such a wise boy,” she muttered proudly, kissing Draco at the top of his head. “But perhaps you should not restrain yourself too much during the holiday. I give you the partial alibi per se. Just keep it under control.”

Smiling, Narcissa got up, straightening up her impeccable posture as in the habit of the high-status woman. For the first time in that day, Draco noticed how elegantly she was dressed up: the black, partly lacy dress stopping at the level of her knees; the shiny-white pearl jewelry perfectly matching her entire outfit; dark yet not defiant high-heels; andhair fixed up in the tight bun. In Draco’s opinion, she looked too prim...even for herself.

"Mother, are you heading somewhere?" he asked curiously.

“Well…” she started, blushing. “I’m going to see my old friend in the coffee shop. I haven’t been there for ages, so it’s one of the chances to meet up with them. Hopefully, you are going to take care of yourself for a few days.” 

"Days?" he asked, shocked.

“You didn’t expect me to travel from town to town, did you?” she laughed lightly. “Bordeaux is quite a route to overcome. So I might be settling there for a few nights. Do you mind it, darling?”

Was he positive about the information? Did he mind? Partly yes. He didn’t imagine the prospect of wandering around the alleys of France on his own, especially on the first day of being there. But from the other side, seeing the joy painted on his mother’s face as she told him about the planned get-together made him feel less skeptical. Plus, getting rid of the extreme supervision for a few days wouldn’t be such a disaster as well.

As he calculated now, the ratio about the idea was 90% pro and 10% against.

"Of course not," he said simply, smiling at his mother.

"I knew you would understand." The crease of uncertainty on her forehead disappeared, and she let out a sigh of relief. "Meanwhile... I have already booked you the brunch downstairs but seeing as you are not in the wholesome state, I might order a delive-"

"Don't..." Draco opposed, rising from the bed and throwing the nearest shirt he could find over his head. "I'll come down. Some fresh air may be a cure for a hangover. Oh, and speaking of hangovers -- do you happen to have an anti-hangover potion?"

Narcissa let out a quiet chuckle and clapped her hands, seemingly satisfied with herself. Her tranquil gaze landed on the cupboard. "As a matter of self-preservation, yes, I do. Try searching inside the bedside cabinet."

He thanked her and then they talked with each other a little bit longer until Narcissa took the pocket watch out of her handy purse, noted the time ("Merlin's Beard, I am so tardy! I'm going to be alone on the platform if I stay here a minute longer!), and –a little startled with her inadvertency – hurriedly declared she should get going ("I really should get going Draco!”). Pecking her son twice on the cheeks as a farewell, she rushed towards the door and, for the last time, turned around to blow a brief motherly goodbye kiss. She left in such a hurry that the only sign indicating her presence in the room a few seconds ago was her familiar perfume lingering about in the air.

Draco gathered his clothes, and after half an hour of very difficult preparations while dealing with the consequences of yesterday's actions -- because the potion finally hits after two to three hours -- he found himself in front of the hotel's restaurant. As he walked in, he had to admit the room enchanted him with its lovely atmosphere, which brought back the memories of his first Hogwart's magical feast as an eleven-year-old boy.

With the large windows allowing plenty of light in, the entire space was in the classical style. The whole floor was clad with marble tiles in the white-like color; the walls were purely white and, apparently, someone must have put a lot of effort not to let a single dust spot appear in there; the ceiling was created in the concept of the sky resemblance making an impression of the real clouds hovering over heads. Three enormous chandeliers made a very good fit with carved wooden tables and similarly-looking chairs.

"Sir, would you like to make an order?" The decently looking waitress walked over to his table, with a white apron around her waist and green, deep eyes staring at him. "I'm Laura, by the way. I'll be serving you today."

He nodded, not really paying much attention to her primitive attempts of having a chit-chat. Cursorily glancing at the menu, he decided on having a french bagel with melted cheese and a coffee which was a specialty of the house as was written in the recommendations. The waitress scribbled something sloppily in her notes, smiled briefly, and then strode away.

The restaurant was almost fully emptied, and the only things heard in the background were a heated discussion of the couple beside the table and a composition of french, old songs prepared specifically for the guests.

Draco let out a small sigh of boredom, thinking yet again about the scenery of today. The only ideas that crossed his mind were either lounging in his stuffy hotel room or finding another hang-out spot to drown his sorrows.

After the War, he had found out it was pretty easier not to give in to any of the memories, blurring them out with the support of Scotch as a coping mechanism. Pansy and Daphne, his childhood friends, had tried to talk him out of it, kindly offering some tenderness and a chance for a conversation. But he had eventually stopped caring about any of that bullshit anymore.

That's why perhaps he'd just--

"Hi!" said a cheerful voice behind him, making him jump slightly at his seat with surprise. At first, he thought it was a mistake; that he must have been deemed as someone else considering he didn't know anyone around, so was in the opposite way. Turning around, however, made him realize it wasn't entirely the truth. "Do you remember me?"

"Hello." Of course, he remembered her. It was the receptionist from the previous day, whose name he didn't bother to memorize. Although he planned on avoiding potential candidates for a talk today, he said truthfully, "Yes, I do. You work here, right?"

"Yeah," she confirmed, smiling. "Can I join?"

For a moment, his sluggish brain did not process what she was asking about, and that made him frown. The girl probably comprehended what it was about because she explained, reading his confused expression. "...the table".

"Oh," he said, feeling more than embarrassed for his dumb reaction. "Yeah, help yourself."

"Thanks," she mumbled, pulling out the chair to make some room for herself. "Tough night, huh?"

The inquiry made him suddenly realize she must have witnessed the whole scene yesterday -- him asking her for a favor, Narcissa drilling her out for any clues about his disappearance, his arrogant attitude, and scurrility as he spoke to her. For sure, if she were smart enough, she would deduce what the situation was about.

He couldn't help it, but a wave of shame pierced through his body, and his stomach rolled slightly.

"A little," he answered minimizing a dimension of the spree, almost like a lie, and then he shook his head. "Listen, sorry about yesterday. I might have been...rude."

A small smile of courtesy formed on her lips. "I presumed you were a little off. Happens..." she said tentatively, gripping both of her hands together. "Oh, and about yesterday -- you lost this at the lobby." She took his wand out, and Draco's stomach made a second roll, the heartbeat hastening like a speed of light. He quickly tried to bring his face to the natural expression, but the girl had noticed that, and curiosity filled her eyes. "I thought I should give that back. In case it was valuable or something."

Fucking great... How was he supposed to elucidate that?

His throat felt so dry he couldn't let out a word of excuse. The moment was so mortifying to him he just reached for the familiar wand and nodded politely in gratefulness.

"Mhm..." Draco hummed, barely audible and momentarily deflated. "It's just... Something I've been training with..."

What the fuck is that supposed to mean, dolt?!

"Oh," the girl unconsciously flipped her hair off the shoulders, probably trying to make sense of the information. Furrowing her brows, she put her hand under the chin. "Are you a magician?"

"Kind of..." he agreed, not happy about the reputation he had just created for himself, but at the same time satisfied he didn't have to make up more explanations.

Luckily for Draco, the uncomfortable pause was rescued by the arrival of the food -- thank Merlin -- and even though he hadn't been hungry at all, now he felt an unexpected appetite to eat up the awkwardness. The girl probably caught a hint it was about time to end an encounter because she grunted.

"Listen," the girl started, clearing her throat yet again. "I better get going. But..."

The next thing Draco knew was that she was reaching to her pocket again, this time taking out something similar to a quill, only without ink. He assumed it must some kind of muggle invention, only a mechanical-like version. The girl uncorked it and suggestively drew out her hand, clearly signifying he should bring his hand closer as well. He obediently did.

"France is a big city," she said, glancing at him and sounding serious. "If you ever needed someone to show you around, let me know."

Without any preamble, her soft, delicate fingers grasped his forearm (he made sure to give her the right one), and with a few scrawls on his skin, she looked at him merrily, blushing slightly, and then left a table.

He stared after her for a while, looking at her curls bouncing behind her back as she walked away at a slow, monotonic pace. After a few seconds, she disappeared out of his sight, letting him finally peek at the note she had left:

'Call me, Y/N,' and a nine-digit number attached.

XOXOXO

A/N: I know this part might have contained too little Draco x Reader momento, but I promise it’ll get better as a plot develops. Also -- is it only my impression, or is Narcissa as changeable as the weather in Germany lol.

[smuthuttpodcast]

Fetch is iconic because to read Fetch is to suffer. I say that with the warmest regards to Tam. It's an example of the medium as both a challenging, cathartic, and escapist one.

Name/Handle/Alias

@secretreylo SecretReyloTrash

About how long would you say you’ve been rooting for Reylo?

When it comes to smut I tend to go two directions: "Shipping" it or a hypothetical "They'd Be Hot Together". I've been on that TBHT train since TFA, but not contributing and only casual browsing of smut because that's what TBHT is for. Spring of 2018 was when the mediation of how to realistically get these two together, the meta aspect of shipping, really started to appeal to me because of stories I was reading ("Lilies" by diasterisms was my first Soft Ben and I loved him) and I gave writing it a try with Perfumed in Obsession, a story that is 100% mediation of opposing viewpoints. I fell very far, very fast into it.

What did you think of the way Rise of Skywalker handled Rey and Kylo’s relationship?

Really gross. TLJ was a very sensitive text. It's not about physical force; it's about persuasion. Understandable viewpoints, where they both offer so much of themselves and it still doesn't work, and that's really heartbreaking and compelling. TROS felt like it had taken several steps back. Kylo was more of a bullying, negging presence when before he'd respected Rey's power and autonomy before, he just had hopes about what she'd do with it. now he's controlling. He withheld crucial information about her trauma, which is deeply wrong. He was a generic villain and Rey was physically fighting her way out. Their ending wasn't given space to breathe or feel like something was happening, and then he drops dead in her arms. A lot of simpering was done on the filmmakers part about what he deserved by Rey doesn't get anything she deserved. Their only interactions before the Exegol Disaster are only focused on drudging up pain and hostility, so there's no moment where they "see" each other that matches TLJ. The final battle there is some grasping at recognition, but it's really imbalanced towards Ben's redemption, Rey being rewarded for essentially waiting out his bad boy phase, and nothing to address her anger and grief and darkness. It tipped the scales way out of Rey's favor, and she's an important character!

Do you think the film understood why you, and other people, felt like Rey and Kylo had something together? Did it get their chemistry?

No, it really felt like the conversations between them were missing the point. Negging, withholding, leveraging. These were two flawed but honest people (at least with each other) who had a lot of circumstantial baggage that kept them apart. Ironically a lot of the "hero" and "villain" posturing gets stripped away and they are shown as their truest selves through the bond. Finn never sees this side of Rey. Snoke never saw this side of Ben. It's a relationship that mattered because it was so nuanced that way. TROS Rey being stalked by Kylo in his Supreme Leader Helmet seems antithetic to the sincerity of the relationship. It's telling that one of Rey's lines is a generic, cliche whisper of "No": it falls horribly flat because a conversation can't just be "Yes." "No." "Yes." "No." I constantly bring up TLJ in my answers because it's what solidified my love for this ship, but their conversations that Rain wrote were a compelling back-and-forth that filled in their arguments with detail that made the arguments appealing. What about the handling of Kylo’s redemption? Was it something you had to think through in your stories?Here's the thing. I wanted Bendemption to be painstaking, bittersweet and maybe not even completed in full by the ending (but explicitly in the works). Here's where the mythology of TROS gets really wonky, and why I think fans are so upset: If Ben was mentally infiltrated and groomed by the most powerful Sith Lord in the Galaxy for 9 movies, can we actually have a nuanced conversation about what he deserves? No. We all just want to wrap a shock blanket around him and let him have a nap, which, fun fact, is the actual ending of the Exegol Metlife Stadium Battle. My point here is that TROS took his accountability, his toxicity, and his choices and rendered them meaningless. It is way too extreme. What does he have to atone for if Palpatine ruined the lives of every Skywalker so thoroughly that he never stood a chance? I adore the self-sabotage of his character. I adore that he is his own antagonist. I adore that he faces consequences for his toxicity and that his love for someone leaves the ball in his court to Fix His Shit for the potential of his own goodness. But you take a situation and make it so tragic where he was so weaponized and powerless that I'm actually impressed he only killed Han. I liked when his actions actually had weight. I adore him for how his emotions compromise his happiness and how damaging it is that he doesn't deal with them because I see so many parts of myself. Step one or writing Redemption was always facing those emotions. I love writing Ben throwing himself at his father's, his mother's, and Rey's feet and just letting these repressed emotions out, and their capacity for forgiveness sheltering this change. It didn't need to be completed by TROS but it needed to be started. 

What did you think of where Rey landed at the end? There had been a lot of excitement around Star Wars having a female protagonist. Do you think she lived up to the promise of her character?

Rey's ending devastated me. It was a period of active mourning that went way beyond Ben's death for me. You know when you pick one phrase when you cry and just fixate on it? "She's alone" was mine. For days. That was all I asked for from this series. For Rey to find her home. Rey was stripped of so much, and most insulting was the fucking Skywalkers playing keep away with her own backstory until it was convenient for them made it seem like they were the actual villains. Why did she have to go in ignorant? Why did we retcon a girl coming from a shitty family and excelling despite that? Symbolically, now she as a character is most alike to Shmi, and that makes bile rise in my mouth. A single woman on Tatooine, dressed in her Virgin Whites, waiting for the Force to decide what to do with her? Smhi. It's Shmi. Here to immaculate concept some more important sacred Skywalkers. Because if she's a Skywalker, there's gotta be more, or what was the point? Thanks, I hate it.

There’s criticism of the movie that argues it’s akin to “fan fiction” and that is has too much fan service. As fans and fan-fiction writers, how do you react to that?

No; it's too corporate. Fanfiction has a love for the source that constitutes the FREE effort to write for it. I think the comparison to fan fiction labors under the assumption that fan fiction is lazy and bad: when the most popular stories that do incorporate high levels of drama earn them through painstakingly hard work. Fetch is iconic because to read Fetch is to suffer. I say that with the warmest regards to Tam. It's an example of the medium as both a challenging, cathartic, and escapist one. It had very real feelings and a happy ending that was earned in a trial by fire. TROS instead was pure studio interference. It was trying to please *everyone* instead of someone earnestly saying "this is what I love." There is no joy. Just cynicism and punishing people who were sincere. I can't validate its need for me to love it. It's desperate and sad. 

Are you still writing any Star Wars fanfic? Tell us about it! (Don't forget your Ao3 handle!)

Yep. I will be updating my newest story "The Witch and The Holocron" every Saturday. It is the closest I will get to a Miyazaki Movie. I'm still on my WIPs: Soldiers in Petticoats is due soon, Virtue Rewarded requires an extensive amount of time but it's in progress, I really want to pre-write my Romanov Imposter AU before posting but I'm excited for it. I'll be around. We all know how bad I am with WIPs but I'm still enjoying writing. We'll just pretend TROS never happened. 

Thank you Secretreylotrash! you can find their writing here: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadOldWest/pseuds/SecretReyloTrash

[keep-me-inmind-kaspbrak]

You Take My Breath Away~ Reddie Fic

Summary: When DJ job opens at the local roller rink Richie takes it not knowing he would meet the possible love of his life.

AO3: {READ}

Chapters: [Chapter 1]

Notes: Beta read by @cestleprobleme Thank you all for the wonderful support!  It has really motivated me to write faster, I hope you all enjoy this chapter! <3 Also if you’d like to be added to the tag list feel free to send an ask! 

Chapter 2

WC: 4,021

It didn’t take long for Richie to hear back from the roller rink. The few days leading up to the call he would constantly fidget, bounce his leg up and down, tap his fingers on his desk, and constantly check his phone to see if he had by chance missed a call. As soon as he heard his phone ring loudly, “It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you...” Richie nearly sprang out of bed, juggling his phone frantically as he tried to answer it. As soon as he managed to swipe to answer the incoming call he calmly answered, “Hello?”

It was Ben who had called, “Hey Richie! So you got the job and boss wants you to come in to train with me starting Friday. Does that work for you?”

“Haystack! Fuck yeah that works for me! What time do I need to come in? Do I have to wear anything special? Because I swear to fuck if I have to wear a uniform I’m gonna shit.” Richie answered with his mouth running a mile a minute, par usual.

“Shit, slow down, man! No, you don’t have to wear a uniform. Does three in the afternoon work for you?” Ben asked laughing slightly at Richie’s excitement.

“Thank fucking god, I’ll be there at three on Friday!” Richie said with a smile plastered on his face. He hung up the phone and started pumping his fists while shouting out in excitement. He pranced over to his record player and placed a record on his turn table, setting the needle gently down, allowing the silent room to be filled with the sweet music of one of his favorite bands: AC/DC. The bands song T.N.T began to thunder through the room as Richie closed his eyes and flopped on his rackety dorm bed while belting out the lyrics to the song and air playing the drums and guitar at the same time, which you might think is impossible, but Richard Tozier was here to prove you wrong.

He had never been excited about a job, like ever. He fucking hated having to work because of his past experiences working in fast food and at his hometown’s local gas station. He had been fired from both those jobs within a couple months. It wasn’t because he didn’t do the work, it was for his foul mouth. He was well known for having no filter on his colorful language and that came with some consequences all too often.

After the song had finished Richie decided to whip out his phone and shoot a text to Bev.

Richie: Ya boi got the job B)

Bev: I fucking told you that you would get it!!!!

Richie: Well who wouldn’t hire this fine piece of ass!?

Bev: Whatever you say Rich, when do you start?

Richie: Friday, haystack is going to train me

Bev: Awesome! Well I gotta go work on the costumes for the play, I’ll talk to ya later! <3

Richie tossed his phone on his bed as he stood up and walked over to his closet. He grabbed his black worn-down leather jacket that once belonged to his father years ago. He decided it was time for a celebratory smoke in honor of his recent victory in scoring the job. He grabbed his pack of smokes and his lighter and headed out to his usual smoking spot. As he made his way down the softly lit walkways of campus, his mind began to wander back to that boy he saw at the roller rink, Eddie. He had never seen the boy before, not in a single class, not in the cafeteria, or even wandering the campus streets.

           Richie made it to his usual spot; a quiet cut off area behind one of the empty academic buildings, and began to light his cigarette, taking a rather long drag and allowing the smoke to fill his lungs. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back slowly exhaling the bitter smoke. Thoughts of seeing Eddie again began to flood Richie’s head and his nerves kicked in. He had never felt this way about another person ever in his life, and he’s been with plenty of boys and girls. Taking another drag from his cigarette, he knew he wanted to impress Eddie and he would do anything possible to sway the petite boy his direction. Exhaling the rest of the smoke, he dropped the butt of his cigarette and stomped it out. Pushing his hands in his pockets he hoped the week would pass quickly so he could begin working at the roller rink, and maybe, start getting a few more glimpses of Eddie.

~

           Much to Richie’s surprise, the week did not pass as quickly as he hoped. It was filled with quizzes, homework, and even a goddamn paper. As much as Richie came off as the class clown and or as the “village idiot,” grades were really important to him. It was how he was able to go to college; he was on an almost full-ride scholarship to the small university on the coast of Maine. As the week went on he was grateful when Friday rolled around, and he was fidgeting all day waiting for three o’clock to finally come. His last class was at two, which gave him little time to run back to his room to freshen up before his first day on the job. As much as he didn’t care about how others thought he looked, he wanted to make sure he looked somewhat presentable for his first day.

As his last class finished he booked it across campus to his room to quickly change out of his worn out and faded black shirt into one of his favorite t-shirts that had Def Leppard written across the front with a faded British flag behind the distinctive font. He also quickly changed into a pair of his best black skinny jeans that weren’t ripped but clearly used, with a slight fade to them. He fixed his curly locks as best as he could, which was him just running his hands through his hair until it looked somewhat tamed. Looking at the time, he had only fifteen minutes to get to the rink and the drive would take at least ten minutes, so he grabbed his leather jacket and booked it out the dorm, practically sprinting to get to his car on the other side of campus.

He stood outside the rink, gazing at the run-down place before he made his way through the door. He was greeted with sounds of shitty pop music and the smell of pizza, candy, and that musky old smell that made him smile instantly.

“Hey there, Richie!” Ben said cheerfully, greeting him with a big smile.

“Well, hey there, Haystack, fancy meeting you here.” he replied with excitement.

“Ready?”

“Hell yeah!” Richie said placing his arm around Ben as he led Richie to the skate rental area.

The first two hours Richie spent learning how to rent out skates as well as how to properly return them. He was hoping he wouldn’t be spending most his time doing this and that he would mainly be working the DJ booth, but he understood that he should know how to do both just in case it became busy and Ben or anyone else would need the extra help. Another hour passed and Ben was showing Richie how to properly clean the skates and organize them by size after they were returned. They sat together spraying the disinfectant spray in each skate while they made small talk, asking each other about school and their majors, since Richie had really had only met Ben once or twice through hanging out with Bev.

“Hey Ben, do you know that Eddie kid?” Richie asked looking over the top of his glasses as he sprayed a pair of skates.

“Uh yeah, I’ve known him since my freshman year. Why?” Ben replied stopping his work to look at Richie.

“Just curious.” Richie said bluntly, shrugging it off like it wasn’t a big deal.

Five o’clock rolled around and Ben said that they could take a 15-minute break before he would train him at the DJ booth. Richie sighed and abruptly stood up, “Thank fuck, I don’t know if I could deal with that disinfectant smell anymore.”

Ben laughed a little, patting his back, “You’ll get used to it.”

Richie saw Ben head towards the back of the building and he was about to follow until he saw a familiar face walk in with a group of boys. He stopped dead in his tracks and turned to make his way over to the short figure before Ben grabbed him by his shoulder and dragged him to the break room.

“If you wanted me that bad, Ben, all you had to do was say something.” Richie joked winking at Ben.

He could see Ben blush in embarrassment, “Shut up, Richie. Here is where you’ll clock in and take lunch if you work a long enough shift.”

“Cool beans!” Richie replies while shooting Ben some finger guns.

“So, uh, yeah here’s your clock in number for the next time.” Ben handed a piece of paper to Richie.

“Knock, knock!” Bev interrupted sneaking her head in the break room.

“Beverly, darling!” Richie shouted in his proper English lady accent while running over to her giving her a big hug.

“Oh, well hello Richard!” Bev replied with the same accent pecking the each cheek making a loud kissy noise.

Richie and Bev began laughing before Ben coughed. “Oh Ben! How’s training this piece of shit going?” Bev asked as she made her way over to ben to place a small peck on his lips.

“Ouch, I am hurt, Marsh!” Richie gasped clutching his heart.

“I’ll just say he keeps it interesting.” Ben laughed.

“Hey, the rest of the losers are out waiting to meet the new DJ…” Bev started to say before Richie interrupted.

“Say no more! The fans ask and I shall give them what they want.” Richie said straightening his posture and making his way out of the break room.

Ben and Bev followed behind Richie, rolling their eyes and smiling as they watched Richie confidently make his way out to where the losers were standing in a circle. As Richie made his way to the circle of friends he cleared his throat, “I heard there was a group of fans waiting to meet me?”

“Guys, this is Richie.” Bev said as she and Ben made it to the group.

The group all said hello and introduced themselves. There was Bill, he was taller than Richie, with perfectly styled brown hair and a slight stutter to his speech. Then there was Stan, who was about average height and had curly hair and a sweet smile. Mike was a tall, athletic looking kind of guy who looked slightly familiar, like he had seen him play football or some other sport on campus. Finally there was Eddie, he quietly said his name and Richie couldn’t help but smile.

“Y-y-you b-better play some guh-good music.” Bill piped up.

“What’s wrong with the music?” Eddie exclaimed, crossing his arms standing in a defensive position.

“Its utter crap, that’s what wrong.” Stan said looking at Eddie.

“Well, I think it’s alright.” Eddie replied haughtily.

“Well, I think you’re wrong this time Eddie.” Stan spit fired back.

“Have no fear, record boy is here to save the day!” Richie said running up to the DJ booth to resolve the situation. He got to the computer and was disappointed to see that what the rink used was just a Spotify premium account to play their music. Shaking his head he got to work to find the perfect song to play. It didn’t take him long before he confidently selected Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham!.

The instant he started the track he could hear the entire group scream, and he looked up to see them make their way to the rink. He could see Eddie looking up at him in the DJ booth, shaking his head and smiling as he took off in his white skates after his friends. Richie watched as they all skated in circles laughing and singing at the top of their lungs. Eddie was putting on a performance clearly enjoying the song as he sang the loudest and would get low, snapping his fingers to the beat and would occasionally begin spinning in circles while shaking his hips.

~

The song came to an end, and Eddie could feel how out of breath he was. He had to admit that Richie did have some decent taste in music, especially as the next song came on and Eddie nearly screamed.   Def Leppard’s Pour Some Sugar on Me blared through the speakers. Eddie took off in a hot fury letting the rock music take him over completely. As he skated away he could see Richie looking down at him smiling ear to ear and singing along to the music as well, bobbing his head back and forth to the music. He felt butterflies form in his stomach, he had never seen someone so beautiful; the way Richie’s unruly curls bounced up and down as he danced to the music and the soft smile that made Eddie feel like he couldn’t breathe anymore.

Eddie could see Richie staring down at him and Eddie decided he wanted to show off a little bit. He started to move his hips in a fluid movement and ran his hands up his side and across his chest. Weaving his skates so he was skating backwards, and that way Richie could only see the back of him. He then spun around just as the song ended and right as he reached the edge of the DJ booth.

The rest of the night seemed to fly by as Richie played a wonderful array of songs that pleased everyone. The track was getting close to shutting down and Eddie was tired, he had skated the entire time he was there, which was getting close to three hours. His legs were burning pleasantly and his hair was damp with sweat. Eddie made his way to a bench to take off his skates. He wheeled up to the dinky, small bench, sat down, and proceeded to slide his skates off, massaging his feet in hopes to dull the stinging pain from skating for so long.

“Hey, we are all going to go to the diner down the street for some food, want to tag along?” Mike said sitting down next to Eddie.

“Yeah sure, let me just finish up here and I’ll meet you there!” Eddie said enthusiastically. Even though he was very health conscious, he couldn’t pass up a strawberry milkshake every now and again. Eddie put his skates in his backpack and made his way out of the rink and walked the three blocks to the diner he was meeting everyone at. Eddie was the first to arrive at the diner and asked for a booth to hold all six of the losers.

Ten minutes passed before he heard the bell above the diner’s door jingle, and the loud voices of Ben, Bev, Stan, Bill, Mike, and Richie followed after. Eddie panicked as he saw the tall dark haired Richie walk in with the rest. He didn’t think Richie would be joining them. Eddie’s chest tightened as the group made it to the table and he could see Richie sliding in to sit right next to him.

“Well, hello, confetti Eddie with a side of Spaghetti!” Richie said placing his arm behind Eddie.

Eddie tensed up as he felt Richie’s arm lace around the top of his shoulders. He could feel his heart leap into his throat and he choked out, “Don’t call me that.”

“Sure thing, Eds.” Richie replied with a smile, giving him a little wink.

Eddie could feel himself blushing; he couldn’t help but admit to himself that he thought the nicknames Richie had already given him were quite cute, and maybe made his heart flutter a little. The waitress came over to take everyone’s orders and Eddie ordered his usual strawberry milkshake with extra whipped cream. Bill and Stan ordered a plate of fries to share, Ben and Bev both ordered a chocolate milkshake, Mike got a burger and fries, and Richie got a double cheeseburger with extra fries. The group looked at him after he stated what he wanted.

           “Jesus, Ruh-Richie, get eh-enough food?” Bill asked good naturedly.

           “I’m a growing boy, Big Bill, a young man needs his protein.” Richie stated.

           “Do you know how unhealthy all that is?” Eddie said with a bit of disgust in his voice.

           “Aw, Eds, tell me something I don’t know.” Richie replied pinching Eddie’s cheek.

           “Don’t fucking touch me!” Eddie in a playful whiny voice pushing Richie softly.

           Just as Eddie pushed Richie the waitress arrived with all their food, placing each order right in front of its respective order-er, and they all began to eat their food. Richie was talking to Bill and exchanging phone numbers so they could hang out and play video games some time. The rest were making small talk, talking about their week, classes, and cracking jokes. Eddie sipped on his milkshake silently keeping to himself as the others inter mingled. He quietly observed how the addition of Richie to the group seemed to make the group seem more complete than before. He smiled a little as he glanced over at Richie to see him throwing fries back and forth laughing.

           “Why you so quiet over there?” Ben asked.

           “Huh? Me? I’m just tired that’s all.” Eddie replied leaning on the table slowly resting his head down.

           “Do you wa-want to g-go back to your d-d-...dorm?” Bill inquired.

           “Yeah, I think I am going to head back.”

           “Do you want me to walk you back?” Mike offered with his ever-kind smile.

           “No, I think I’ll be alright.” Eddie said and started to scoot out of the booth.

           “I don’t think so, Spaghetti, I’ll give you a ride.” Richie said scooting out of the booth grabbing his keys out of his pocket.

           “No, you don’t have to do that, Richie.” Eddie objected.

           “The pleasure is mine.” He bowed dramatically, allowing Eddie to walk in front of him.

           Eddie could feel his airway tighten as he made his way out of the diner, waiting for Richie to follow behind him to his car. Richie soon caught up to Eddie after saying bye to the rest of the losers, “Ready to go, Spaghetti Man?” Richie inquired as he led the way to his beat-up, used car.

           Richie opened the passenger side door for Eddie to climb in. The smell of cigarettes and leather greeted Eddie’s nostrils, and he had hoped that the smell of cigarettes was from the previous owner and not Richie. The driver’s side door opened and Richie hopped into the car.

           “What hall do you live in?” Richie asked as he started up the car.

           “Mayfair Hall on the south side of campus.” Eddie replied pulling his sweater around his hands.

           “Alrighty, Mayfair Hall it is.” Richie backed out of the diner.

           As soon as they were out on the road Eddie saw Richie reach into his pocket and pull out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He could feel his heart drop; Eddie hated smokers, how could someone do that to their body? Eddie watched as Richie lit the cigarette while they were at a stoplight.

           “Could you not smoke in front of me please?” Eddie pleaded.

           “You’re going to make me waste a perfect cigarette?” Richie whined.

           “I will get out of this fucking car right now if you don’t.” He threatened.

           Richie just stared at him as he took a long drag from the cigarette and blew it back out the corner of his mouth. “You better fucking not.”

           “Watch me.” Eddie said as he undid his seat belt and opened the passenger side door and slammed it shut, walking as fast as he could away from the car. He had never felt so repulsed but attracted at the same time. The way Richie held the cigarette between his fingers made it look like it was meant to be there. The way Richie stared down at him as he blew the smoke out of his mouth made his breath hitch. Eddie shook away the thought and stormed down the street. He could see Richie’s car sneak up behind him and Eddie quickened his pace.

           “Eds, what the fuck, get back in the car!” Richie shouted.

           “No!” Was all Eddie felt he needed to yell back.

           “Eddie, seriously get in the fucking car, it’s freezing out!”

           “I am not getting in the car!” Eddie stopped in his tracks turning on his heel to look defiantly at Richie.

           “Eds, please…get back in the car.” Richie pleaded, hoping the sincerity of his words reached his eyes as he implored the other boy.

           Eddie just stared back at him with crossed arms. He watched in a small amount of awe as Richie took his pack of cigarettes, held them up for Eddie to see, and chucked them out the window. Eddie watched the pack of cigarettes land on the opposite side of the road, and Eddie felt his jaw drop. He barely knew Richie and he had just thrown an almost new pack of cigarettes out of his car. For Eddie.

           “Will you get in the damn car now?” Richie asked, but there was a small, hopeful smile on his lips.

           Saying nothing, but feeling his cheeks warm slightly, Eddie gave in and climbed back into the passenger side of the car. He clicked his seatbelt in and sat there with his arms crossed, waiting for the car to start moving, but they were still stopped. Eddie looked over at Richie to see him staring at him, “Well I know not piss you off.” Richie said.

           “Pick up the damn cigarettes. I won’t have you littering on my behalf. But you BETTER throw them away.” Eddie snipped quickly, looking back out the window.

           Richie just smiled at the other boy before opening his door and leaning out to grab the discarded pack.

           As Richie got back in the car Eddie could feel his eyes peering over at him. Eddie just sat there, still silent, staring out the front window as Richie took off once again, heading towards campus. Eddie could start to feel the guilt wash over him… had he been too harsh? Did Richie think he was a total ass now? Did he just ruin everything?

           These thoughts solidified deeper and deeper in his mind as the seconds went on. Eddie looked down at his hands that were resting in his lap and began to fidget with his fingers. How could he subtly let Richie know that he still wanted talk, and maybe even see him outside of the rink? Eddie wanted to know more about this trashmouth that sent his heart fluttering every time he looked at him, he wanted to know if Richie was feeling the same thing every time their eyes met. His thoughts were stopped as Richie pulled up to his hall. Eddie looked up to be greeted with Richie looking down at him with the cutest smile Eddie had ever seen. Eddie could feel a small tug at the corner of his lips.

“Uh, thank you.” He said, a little awkwardly. “I…appreciate it.”

           “Sure thing, Spaghetti head.” Richie nodded with a small smile, looking into Eddie’s eyes.

           Eddie nodded back curtly, and began to get out of the car, before he stopped again. He reached into his bag to grab a loose pen before he turned to Richie and grabbed his hand, quickly jotting down his number. He looked up to see Richie smiling, “See you around.” Eddie replied, blushing a little.

           When Richie finally got back to his own room, he chucked the pack of cigarettes into the trash.

TAGS: @eddie-kas @welcome-assholes

[snapessecretdiary]

Meant to be

Lucius Malfoy x Reader

A/N: new one shot, it´s quite short but I couldn´t make up something longer. the pic´s from Google, so credits to the original owner. If anyone feels the immense need to be tagged in my shitty little writing attempts, just send a message. Happy Halloween everbody

imagine being a new Transfiguration teacher at Hogwarts. You´ve graduated as Slytherin, years ago and decided to travel the world after school.

When you started your job at the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Draco instantly started to like you. When his father comes to talk to Dumbledore one day, he accidently walks into you in on of the many corridors. He immediately recognises you as the one person he never thought about seeing again.

"[Y/N]? Lucius Malfoy asked in disbelief. He had just talked to Professor Dumbledore and now was on his way back home. Never in a million years would he have thought to meet you again, right here where he saw you for the last time.

Your [E/C] eyes widened in shock. Old memories made their way back into your mind. Memories, you had tried to banish so badly.

"Lucius.." you stated, forcing a smile on your lips. "How are you?"

He straightened his long, black robes, obviously trying to impress you with his visible weatlhiness.

"I´m great. Got a job in the ministry, quite important one I might add."

Again, you flashed him a weak smile. His attempts weren´t working.

He was still the same, even after all those years that had passed. Just the same way he was back in your youth. Nothing less than ´most important´ has ever been good enough for him, you thought.

"I´m glad." was all you said. Trying to impress others probably was one of the most prominent things about being a Malfoy. You could see the same behaviour in Draco.

"What about you?" the blonde man asked.

"Nothing that can match with your life. I´ve been traveling a lot. But now I´m back here, where I belong. Draco is a good student, by the way. He reminds me a lot of you.."

Lucius nooded in agreement. "Yes well, he´s got a lot more to learn to reach the future that I´ve planned for him." he told you, his eyes searching yours. If you didn´t know it any better, you´d say he was kinda nervous. His voice wasn´t half as confident as he probably wished and his posture was stiff and tensed up.

"I would be very proud to have a son like him." you admitted.

It was about lunch time, yet you two were completelly alone in the long, cold hallway. You wondered where all the students were hiding.

"You´re married?" Lucius asked after a short, uncomfortable silence.

For the first time, since you met him after years of not seeing him, the smile on your face was real.

"Yes. Yes I am. Quite happy even."

He showed you a small smile, never would he tell you how much that statement actually hurt him. Not the fact that you were happy, but that you were happy with someone else.

It was so long ago, that you two were close to one another.

You were both sorted into Slytherin and somehow, you grew close to the boy who tried to convince others of how confident he was. It took years, till he finally showed you how he really felt, but it didn´t took you half as long to fall for the blonde haired man.

No one really understood, why you were with someone like him. He strongly held onto his cold, proud attitude, that he only let down when you two were alone. You fell for the man he was in those Special, yet awfully rare moments. And he loved you too.

What you didn´t know was that he loved you so much, that he thought about making the next step. Lucius had everything planned out; he thought about your future, and about his. And that you two would work, and that he wanted to be with no one, but you. He brought the ring and waited for the perfect moment, only for this moment to never show up. Before he got the chance to ask you, he made what has to be the most stupid decision he ever made.

Without thinking of the consequences, he joined Lord Voldemort and lost you in the process.

When you heared about what he did, you ended things as fast as possible. You weren´t willing to be with someone who supported a man who treated all the people you loved so badly. No matter how much you loved him.

And while both of you continued to live your life in the best way you could manage, you both knew that whatever the two of you did felt incomplete, because even if you loved your husband, and Lucius loved Narcissa, it was clear to see for both of you, that you were meant to be.

[gutsybitsies]

part of pride and prejudice pnp au (due to tech difficulties ie forgetfulness, parks and rec au and pride and prejudice au are in the same tag...). i’ve decided to say “fuck it” to writing this in a wholesome linear fashion. people know what happens anyway. hit me up on which scene from pride and prejudice u wanna see! 

part 1 

part ? 

It was 3 am in the morning when a loud knock woke everyone in Lardo’s dilapidated Haus 2.0, except for Lardo. Bitty and Ransom blearily opened their eyes as the knocking continued. 

“Shot not,” Bitty said. “You go see who’s making that huge racket.” He pushed Ransom out of the guest bed they were sharing. 

Ransom fell on the floor with a thump. “Why doesn’t this woman ever buy comfortable rugs? I’m getting her one for Christmas.” 

“She complains about cleaning them,” Bitty replied. “Go, or that person’s not gonna stop.”

Ransom yawned and cracked his neck as he left the guestroom, grabbing a hockey stick along the way in case there was a crazy person standing outside the door.

Ransom swung open the door, hockey stick and hand, and ended up looking at a very tall, imposing old woman. There was a tired younger woman standing at her side, holding a suitcase and clutching a phone. 

“Who are you?” The old woman asked. 

“Uhhh...” Ransom blinked and opened his eyes wider to make sure that he was indeed seeing an old lady standing in front of his friend’s door at 3 am. “Who are you?” 

“I am Catherine de Bourgh-Knight,” she said haughtily. “Is this...residence...” she looked at the Haus with disdain, “...where Larissa Duan resides?” 

Ransom pursed his lips together. Haus 2.0 was important to him. It may not be the original Haus at Samwell, but it was the place Lardo shared with him, Holster, and Bitty when they started their first real adult jobs. And this woman was looking at it like it was a dump. 

“This is where Lardo lives, yeah.” He said.

“Ah, well. I found the place then,” she pushed past him, leading the woman behind her inside the house without even asking for Ransom’s permission. “Thank you for inviting me into this...quaint dwelling.” 

“Hey, what the fuck? You can’t just barge in like this! It’s 3 am in the morning!” Ransom said, not sure what the do as the younger woman closed the door politely and Catherine de Bourgh-Knight made her way into the living room. 

Ransom fingers itched as he stopped himself from trying to haul them out of the house and shut the door in their faces. A tall, bulky 6′2′’ black man couldn’t just physically drag an old white lady out of the house.

“Bitty!” He kept an eye on the women while he called for Bits. He was pretty sure Bitty can push them out without consequence. “Bitty!!! We have guests!”

Bitty bursted out of the guestroom, which was directly opposite from the living room, clearly rumpled from sleep, while holding another hockey stick.

“I’m here, Ranso-” He stared at the scene in the living room. Bitty, like Ransom, blinked and rubbed his eyes to make sure that there was indeed a tall, imposing old woman standing with a posture full of disdain inside the living room. “Um.”

“They just came in after I opened the door,” Ransom explained. 

“I’m here for Larissa Duan, I have a great opportunity for her and she will not regret talking with me.” the lady said, she looked at the couch. “Is this thing safe to sit on?” 

“Yes,” Bitty lied through his teeth. “But it is the middle of the night! Ma’am, we cannot be having with this!” 

“Lards is asleep, you’re not seeing her.” Ransom said. He waved a hand at the door. “Please leave.” 

“Do you two know who I am? I am Catherine de Bough-Knight, chairwomen of more committees than I care to remember. It is extremely advantageous for the both of you to listen to me now, or I can and will be able to make life difficult for you.” Catherine de Bourgh-Knight said and aggressively thumped the floor with her cane. 

“Nope, nope, nope,” Bitty walked over and started to physically herd her away with his hockey stick. “Ransom’s got the right idea, we’re not letting you see her.”

Catherine looked at the young woman next to her, who mustered up a breath. 

“Larissa Duan you come out right now!!” The young woman shouted.

Ransom heard the telltale creak on the ceiling that meant that Lardo had gotten up from bed. Another creak told him that her bedroom door was open. At this point in time, Bitty had stopped trying to push the two women out as Lardo’s footsteps came down the stairs methodically. First her feet appeared, then her legs, and finally the whole full Lardo emerged. She was wearing Holster’s old hoodie that he swore he lost months ago and Bitty’s new shorts that Bitty swore he didn’t lose.  

“It is...” Lardo looked at her phone. “2 am in the morning. No. 3 am. Mrs. de Bourgh, I hope you have a very good reason for coming to this place.”

Catherine de Bourgh-Knight looked shocked at Lardo’s abrupt way of speaking, as if she expected Lardo to thank her for visiting her in the middle of the night. Of course someone like Larissa Duan should be grateful that she took time out of her busy schedule to see her. 

“I must converse with you,” Catherine said haughtily. “I suppose I will, as the gracious person, thank you instead for attending to me at this hour.” 

“And I’m gracious enough to say you’re very welcome,” Lardo said blithely. “Let’s go in the backyard. Rans, Bits, you two can go back to sleep.” 

“No man,” Ransom said. “We’re not leaving you alone.”

“This is a matter of utter privacy and sensitivity,” said Catherine. “I must insist that I speak with Miss Duan alone.” 

Lardo gave Bitty and Ransom a thumbs up and led Catherine de Bourgh-Knight into the yard, but not before Ransom grabbed a pair of sweatpants from the pile of laundry on the living room table and threw it to her. The young woman from before hung behind and stayed inside with Bitty and Ransom while they waited. 

There was a full moon out that night; two months ago Lardo had received a package of moon cakes from Chowder. He’d timed it so that she received the package on the exact day of the Mid Autumn festival. She never had any time to celebrate it herself, but this year she’d made a pair of matching masks to send to Chowder and Farmer in return for Chowder’s gift. 

While Lardo contemplated the moon, Catherine drew herself up and wasted no time in starting to speak. 

“You know the reason I’m here, Miss Duan.” She said gravely. “I don’t wish to beat around the bush, you surely do know my reputation for being a straightforward woman.”

“I don’t know why you’re here,” Lardo said. She saw that Catherine frowned indignantly at her answer. 

“Don’t make me spell it out loud for you, Miss Duan. You and I both know what this visit is about.” 

Lardo pursed her lips and pretended to think. “Hmm. Nope. Nothing comes to mind. Unless you came to commission me for a piece of art. For you, I can set my rates real cheap. You’ll be happy with that kind of discount.” 

“I received some alarming news in the rumor mill,” Catherine said. “Someone told me my nephew Bartholomew has intentions with you. Now of course someone like Bartholomew is expected to sow his wild oats before marriage, and your status is of the perfect level for a dalliance with him. But he is getting to be the age where we are all expecting him to settle down, and now whatever it is you have between you must stop.” 

“Hmm,” Lardo said. Her mind was racing. Did Shitty still think of her? She hadn’t spoken with him outside of what her friendship with Jack necessitated them to. Even though Jack and Bitty’s relationship meant that they inevitably saw each other more often than before. Did he still think that she was likeable after all the snubbing she had given him? 

Catherine grew more agitated at Lardo’s reticence. 

“You must know that the position of Bartholomew’s partner in life, his wife, has already been chose. Now we understand that as a modern young man, he would like to have a few chosen romances of his own, but Bartholomew knows his duty to his family. Your relationship with him will never be serious or important. When the time comes, he will leave you. I’m telling you this for your own well being in order for you to avoid being humiliated when he inevitably rises to his own...class of people with more similarities to him.” 

“Interesting,” Lardo said. 

“This is common knowledge!” Catherine said. “Now, will you agree to leave him?” 

“If Shitty is obviously going to leave an unimportant relationship, then let him leave on his own,” Lardo said.

“So you two are in a relationship?” Catherine asked intently. 

“Hmmm,” Lardo shrugged.

“Miss Duan! I will have to tell you something then, to insist that you leave my nephew alone. He is in fact engaged to my daughter, Anne.” 

“Wait what?” Lardo finally broke her chill. 

Catherine triumphantly smiled. “Yes, I’ve discussed this engagement with his father since my dear Anne and Bartholomew were infants. It’s set in stone, his wife to be is Anne.” 

“No, wait,” Lardo said, with enough emotion to make Catherine’s face look more smug until she continued, “Anne is his cousin. I thought you were going to tell me he’s engaged to a Vanderbilt, not his own cousin.” 

“They are far apart enough that it’s legal,” Catherine said, a bit haltingly. “And in fact we do have kin ties with the Vanderbilts.” 

“But you and his father are cousins.”  

“Second cousins.” 

“Didn’t they grow up together?” 

“That makes them perfect and fitting for each other.” 

“But they grew up together as people related to each other.” 

“That’s not important-”

“No, no it is. I’m interested in this now. Just because something is legal doesn’t mean it’s not taboo. Does Anne really think of her cousin, who she’s known since childhood and presumably who she’s close as a sibling to him, does she really think of him as husband material?”

“You are an insolent young lady. No! Not a lady. You are a rude little hussy! You seduced my Bartholomew with your exotic nature and assume that he’s going to stay with you. Well, good luck to that because I know my nephew and he will never, ever, be with an uncouth young lady like you. He is a diligent young man who puts the will of his family first and graduated cum laude from Harvard law, and you are some hustler from the streets.”

“That’s very nice, Bartholomew sounds like a wonderful young man who makes good choices. And I’m sure that when the time comes, he’ll marry his cousin like the polite young man he is. You don’t need me to do anything.” 

“His association with you will be the laughter of our community if you let this linger on longer!” 

“He’s a tough guy, he can handle it. I’m sure he won’t be too charmed by my exoticness. If he is, then I’m afraid I can’t help you with anything. And you should leave my property now.” Lardo ignored the indignant huffs of Catherine and led her inside. 

“You are going to regret my warning, Miss Duan! I have come here out of the goodness of my heart, in the middle of the night-”

“Oh, so she knows it’s the middle of the night!” Ransom exclaimed. 

“Out of the goodness of my heart,” Catherine repeated. “To advise you on the dangerous waters that you are treading, and if you had listened to me with kindness and respect I would have offered you redress and compensation for your efforts! But as of my mistreatment in your home I will have a strong word with Bartholomew and my committees. And you can expect that neither your art nor your presence will be tolerated in any society that I preside over!”

Lardo ignored her and walked back up the stairs to her room. Bitty firmly guided the two women to the front door and shut it in their faces in the middle of Catherine’s firm “Good-bye and I shall ignore-!” 

After a while, Lardo crept back downstairs, to find that Bitty and Ransom were waiting for her in the kitchen. 

“Sleep with us tonight, okay?” Ransom asked. “Old cuddle pile?” 

She smiled and walked with them to the guestroom. “Yep. Old cuddlepile.” 

When she was sandwiched between Ransom and Bitty, she heard Bitty say, “You know, I knew there would be something good that comes out of that other room being out of order because of some old problem.” 

“Shut UP don’t remind me!” Ransom whispered. “That used to be my room! There are roaches!!! In my room!!” 

Lardo giggled, and she could feel her boys relax. Bitty fell asleep first, then Ransom, then Lardo drifted off, cocooned in family. 

[troublemoi]

The light mood of the old days resurfaced slowly while the recent intrusive tension faded little by little. There was still a certain hesitation in little touches, though there were scarce and often complemented by rosy cheeks and a fluttering heart. At least, Levi’s outrageous mouth was back and the younger man felt safe and comfortable enough to speak freely his mind again.  So he threw shamelessly crude comebacks and tasteless jokes into animated conversations. To Erwin’s greatest pleasure. This particular characteristic of Levi’s personality to be so free and liberated about speaking his mind, fascinated Erwin greatly and each day he would discovered something new about about the young man, such as how Levi likes his tea, how he never learned to bike or and that he has never seen the deep blue of the ocean.  The harsh tension was gone but it let place to another kind of tension, less suffocating but still extremely concerning.  It manifested especially when flesh touching was involved. Indeed, each time the younger man came too close to Erwin, it sprung something strong and overwhelming inside of him and each time it became more intense. Erwin asked himself if Levi could have discerned it. On one hand, Erwin was sure that Levi wasn’t doing that purposely, and on the other hand he thought that the smaller man was more than aware of the effect he has on Erwin. Either way, Erwin felt stuck, because the last thing he wanted was to upset Levi, now that things were becoming more or less normal between them. So he kept is discomfort to himself.

“Do you need to take a shit?”  Levi asked, annoyed.

 Erwin didn’t know that his posture could be more stiff. He was startled because he was convinced that Levi was deep in his slumber. At first they were sitting at a fair distance from each other, Levi supposedly playing a game on his phone and Erwin practicing reading braille as usual. At some point, Erwin felt a form getting closer to him, the scent of of musky skin attacking his nose in the most delicious way. He tried to feign indifference, to make it look like his body wasn’t tickling with apprehension when he felt Levi against him. It didn’t help that Levi’s head fell into his shoulder later on.

 “Are you awake?” That is the stupidest question Erwin could ask at that moment and he was really aware of that.

 “I was never asleep.” Levi would lie to himself if he denied that he craved Erwin’s warm and tender embrace. Being physically close to him help him at lot in lowering his obsessive thoughts about uncertain future and inevitable farewell. In all honestly he would find any excuses if it meant that he could be secure in his arms again, despite Erwin’s tacit reluctance to reciprocate the gesture. Levi acted thinking he was doing something harmless, but sensing the whole rigidity emitting from Erwin’s limbs he had to say something to ease the stiffness.

 “Oh.” Erwin’s brain has been completely off since Levi’s supposedly feel asleep on his shoulder.

 “I can move if you want…” Levi wasn’t completely an asshole. If Erwin was uncomfortable with the closeness, he would let him his space.

 “No. I don’t want that.” Erwin uttered quickly. Levi was in the mid of moving away but let his head fell again in the crook of Erwin’s broad shoulder.

 “Ok.”

 Levi tried to settle comfortably again and he nuzzled his head contentedly, he exhaled softly, eyes momentarily closing at the sound of pit pat against the window, lulling him into sleep. That day, they decided to stay inside because the weather was moody and gloomy, shaking branches and soaking anyone who dared to venture outside. It has been that way since the first hours of daylight, so after Erwin’s appointment with the ophthalmologist they went back to Erwin’s apartment.  What came out of the appointment was simple and unequivocal; Erwin’s view was completely and utterly dark, as the cataract situated behind the iris inside his eyes was opaque and not cloudy like it has been few weeks ago. Now that the lens was obscure by the disease, no light could reflect through it and consequently he could not even perceive a blur anymore. The doctor divulged to him that there was nothing they could do to help him restore his sight and that the idea of seeing again was close to impossible. But at least his eyes were healthy, as healthy as they can be with the disease. Erwin listened attentively to the doctor’s speech without even bating an eye. Levi knew about Erwin’s ability to pass for a marble statue but it was fairly alarming when his sole reaction was to nod slightly and thank the doctor for being honest. Levi even noticed the uneasy glances that the eye specialist gave to Erwin. It was clear that he wasn’t expecting that kind of reaction or rather lack of reaction after dropping something like that. However, he didn’t comment on it and provided to Erwin a new prescribed bottle of red pills for his headaches and that was the end of it. Though, he couldn’t really see it through Erwin’s thick mask, but Levi sensed that Erwin’s spirit was a little down after the visit.   He didn’t argue when Erwin told him he wanted to go back to his room.

 Levi opened his eyes again slowly, eyes lazily scanning around him. “Are you going to stay here?”

 Erwin wasn’t expecting that question and he had to give himself sometimes before he could think of a proper answer. “For now, I am good here.”

 “Don’t you want to go back to your place?” It is not that Levi didn’t like the centre but he would not stay if it wasn’t mandatory.

 “My place is not mine anymore.” Erwin caressed the hard pages of his book, his mind wandering in another time.

 “What do you mean?”  Levi’s ears were straining waiting for the whole story behind Erwin’s resigned tone.

 Erwin chuckled lightly before saying, “I gave it to my ex-fiancée.”

 “That bitch?” Levi gasped. He couldn’t believe it. Erwin only talked furtively about her but what he said was enough to make his inside boiled.

 “Levi…”  Erwin’s tone was intimidating near threatening and Levi realised what he had just said.

 “I meant that woman?”

 “Don’t ever call her like that again. It is not ok Levi. Besides, she is a good woman and has every right to leave if she wants.”  

 “Still…Just because you couldn’t see anymore, she left you? I am sorry Erwin if I cannot think she is a good woman.”

 “We had… other issues before and the situation just worsened.”

  “Still a shitty excuse.”  If he was Erwin, he would not give her shit.  

 “Anyway, I gave it to her   and that was the least I could do. Moreover, the apartment is not at all suitable for my condition.” Erwin said those words with a finality, an indication that he was done with the subject.

 Levi rolled his eyes but he didn’t argue more on that. “I wish I could live by myself. But my shitty uncle is in charge of me and I cannot move until I am at least eighteen.” He said playing with the strings of his ripped jeans.

 “When will you be eighteen?” Erwin turned towards Levi, his nose inhaling the sweet scent of his hair instinctively.

 “In few months. December.”  Levi answered, bothered.

 “It is not so far away. You have to be patient.”

 “It doesn’t matter because I have no fucking money.” Levi huffed bitterly before adding “Moreover, do you know any sane person who would want to work with a thief? Me neither.”

 “It is sure that the situation is quite delicate but you are still young and you also have to prove your motivation to reintegrate.”  

 “How?”  Levi was all ears.

 “First step is to stop breaking the law.” Erwin said an affectionate smile carving his lips, mouth caressing Levi’s silky locks.

 “Yeah, right.” Levi breathed, leaning more onto Erwin’s touch.  

 The softness of Levi’s hair distracted Erwin briefly before he remembered the question he had in mind. “Is there something you want to do particularly?”

 “This is stupid.” Levi muttered, his cheeks already on fire by the upcoming embarrassment and maybe because Erwin’s lips were pressed into his head.

 “I am not going to judge you.” Erwin told him seriously. But Levi’s body still shrank to make himself disappear and Erwin’s inside became weak and soft.

 “What I know is that you gonna make fun of me like a dick.” Levi snorted.

 “Of course no Levi.”

 “Ok.” Levi thought a moment. “Since I was young, I always wanted to be helpful to people, to be someone useful. And you know all these TV shows about cops kicking ass of bad people and saving life?  I just wanted to do the same.” Levi was all scarlet cheeks and hands fidgeting.  Though Erwin couldn’t see his face, he just wanted to hide in hole. And the fact that Erwin stayed silent for long seconds didn’t help either.

“Forget about it. You must think I am  fucking ridiculous. I know” Levi was aware that he sounded dumb, because he was literally the opposite of a policeman.  

 “I don’t think you are ridiculous... It was just rather unexpected.  but I know you can do it if you want Levi.” There was no ounce of lie or sneer in his voice.

 “I am not sure that is even possible for me.” Levi sighed because Erwin was probably the only one in this planet who believed he could do anything.

 Erwin hands searched for Levi’s face and when he found it, he let it rest on his burning cheeks. Levi’s eyes directly found his and he marvelled at how clear and blue his irises were. “I am not saying it won’t be challenging and difficult. But if you don’t even give a try you will never know.” Erwin’s words floated above Levi’s head. That night, comfortably settled into his small and hard bed, he thought that maybe he wasn’t so ridiculous after all.

    “Breathe.” The instructor ordered Erwin is not used to have thoughts like that but if he could see him, he would smack him in the face. He couldn’t breathe.

 “Take it slow” Erwin half-heard him so much his heart hammered, his heavy limbs spreading on the mat. The instructor hadn’t been nice on him this session and Erwin’s body hurt so much.  The exercises weren’t as difficult as what he used to do before losing his vision. But the fact that he couldn’t see a thing made everything more challenging. That morning, the instructor mixed a lot of different exercises to make a complicated routine. It went from running on a treadmill, passing by weight lift to doing yoga poses.  He was actually on the last phase, trying in vain to lift a leg up straight, he just hasn’t any strength left.

 “Slowly Erwin. We don’t want to make fast movements and strain a muscle or  damage more your vision, if possible.” The coach said light-heartedly, helping Erwin lift his leg up. Erwin’s expression stayed impassive and Levi snorted.

 “Why won’t you try Levi?”  The instructor turned towards the boy who was sitting on a mat near. Sometimes Levi would participate and play some balls games with Erwin.

 “Me?” Levi’s smirk disappeared quickly. But he was never involved when it concerned placing hands on his body.

 “Yes come and take my position” The coach left the mat and Levi knelt in front of Erwin spread legs. Levi swallowed hard.

 “Take his left leg and raise it up.” Levi grabbed the leg and made a noise.

 “Is it too heavy Levi?” Erwin asked, concerned.

 Levi’s face was crimson first because as soon as he left it up he saw Erwin’s short tighten around his visible manhood and second because yes, Erwin was heavy “Not at all.” he scoffed, trying to keep his breathing even.

 “Now Levi, push his leg towards his chest gently.” Levi tried to calm himself before doing what the coach instructed. He leaned towards Erwin’s chest, keeping his leg straight. Erwin was surprisingly flexible for an old man.  Levi found himself little by little closer to Erwin’s bulge. He looked everywhere but there.

 “How does it feel Erwin? Good isn’t it?” the enthusiastic instructor asked.

 “Yes.”  Erwin exhaled and Levi huffed.

 “Don’t enjoy that too much.” Levi threatened without venom.

 Erwin chuckled. He actually enjoyed that very much. The instructor observed the small exchange completely clueless. “Levi you can switch legs.” Levi did exactly the same thing with Erwin’s right leg.   “You are doing a great job Levi!” The instructor praised. “You are not planning to steal my job right?” The instructor emphasised the word “steal”, a dumb smile playing on his lips. Levi just threw him an icy glare.

 “And I am sure you are not!” He clapped, before adding, “Ok, Good. guys, that is enough for today.”

 Levi let out a sigh of relief before he helped Erwin on his feet.

 “Thank you, Coach Berner.” Erwin said as Levi offered him his cane

 “No worries Erwin.  See you next time!”

 “I think we deserved a good pizza after all these efforts. I am done with that shitty cafeteria food.” Levi spat, walking next to Erwin into the centre’s corridors.

 “Yes. Of course.” Erwin laughed slightly.  He couldn’t say he didn’t agree with the smaller man.

 They were arguing on what kind of pizza they would order, when they arrived near Erwin’s apartment. “Are you fucking kidding me Erwin? Pizza with pineapple is repulsive. I am not eating that shit!

 “It’s not that bad. You should give a try Levi.” How could Levi know it is disgusting if he had never tried?

 “No thanks, I would rather eat dog sh-” Levi’s words faded and he stilled.

 “What is it Levi?” Erwin asked confused about Levi’s sudden silence.

 “Erwin?” A small voice emerged from nowhere and Erwin jumped a little because he didn’t expect anyone else. But when Erwin recognized the voice, his face settled in hard lines.

 “Marie.” Erwin acknowledged. Levi’s eyes widen and he took the time to scrutinized her from head to toe. It wasn’t quite what he had imagined but it was close enough. The older women carried herself with dignity, chin high and posture straight. She was wearing a flowing sunflower colour dress which complimented her tan and her long auburn curls, sunglasses perched on her head and what Levi assumed was designer bag hanging from the crook of her thin arm. But when she shifted the navy oversized bag in front of her to her side, Levi saw a belly the size of a soccer ball. Levi stopped breathing suddenly.

 “I need to talk to you Erwin.”