#anatomy 101 fic

[amuseoffyre]

Hi! I just wanted to let you know Anatomy 101 lives rent free in my brain and I cannot tell you how revolutionary the terms “Adam’s part” and “Eve’s part” were to my genderfluid brain. Thank you for sharing your talent with the world. Happy New Year!

Aaaa thank you :D I love that story so much and giving them those terms to play with made me so happy, especially when they were so willing and excited to share their experiences together.

[t4tstarrailing]

afab, amab, fem, and masc: basic terminology 101

hi! are you wanting to be more inclusive towards trans audience members and are an x-reader writer? well, this is the guide for you!

my name is jules and i'm a trans x-reader writer. i focus mostly on true gn!readers, trans!m!readers, and cis!m!readers. i also like to read x-reader fics. unfortunately, i struggle to find x-reader fics to read, because i don't want to risk having my gender dysphoria triggered. and i am hoping that this guide will help you be more accessible to trans readers.

and you may have seen this guide before and yes, that was also me. i lost the post, am too lazy to go and look for it, and i am also a certified yapper and would like to add some additional things.

so in this guide, i am going to be over the terms afab, amab, fem, and masc; explaining how i see people using them incorrectly and what they actually mean; explaining what words you should be using in what scenarios; how to be even more inclusive towards trans readers; and emphasizing why trans isn't a dirty word.

if you are trans yourself, please feel free to add any additional notes or experiences that you have personally had, especially in fandom spaces. and if you aren't trans yourself and want to double-check yourself, see if any of your trans mutuals are willing to chat about it! sometimes they aren't, sometimes they are, but don't be afraid to ask.

so what do the terms afab and amab mean, and where do they come from?

simply put, afab means "assigned female at birth" and amab means "assigned male at birth". it means the doctor looked at you at birth and designated your gender based off your genital presentation.

the terms were never intended to describe someone's present sexual anatomy. in fact, they come from the intersex community and how doctors designate intersex individuals at birth, either surgically or sometimes taking a guess. the terms, however, have been adopted by the wider community, sometimes successfully but many times unsuccessfully.

i see a lot of people using these terms to designate what sexual anatomy the reader has, which is wildly incorrect. not every afab person has a pussy. some afab people have dicks. not every amab person has a dick. some amab people have pussies. not every afab person with a pussy refers to their anatomy as a pussy. sometimes they call it a front hole or just a hole. not every amab person with a dick calls it a dick. sometimes they call it a strap, or they call their own hole a pussy.

afab and amab should also not be used in sfw settings. you're more than likely looking for a different term, such as masc!reader or fem!reader, or just f!reader or m!reader.

what terms are frequently used by the trans community to refer to their anatomy?

bro, there are so many. off the top of my head, for trans men and trans masc, there's front hole, mancunt, boybox, boypussy. for trans women and trans fems, the only ones i can think of off the top of my head is girlcock, girldick, and strap.

when in doubt, go the gender-neutral route and say "hole" or "chest" if you're referring to the chest/breast area.

with that being said, there's nothing wrong with trans men calling their anatomy a pussy or trans women calling their anatomy a dick. in fact, many do.

however, there does come a point where it becomes a tad bit uncomfortable seeing non-trans men/mascs people insistent on using pussy/cunt for trans men and mascs, or non-trans women/fems insistent on using dick/cock for trans women and fems. especially if people flatout refuse to entertain the idea of using other words that trans folks may find more comfort in, or force the character to conform to characteristics stereotypically associated with the anatomy (eg. usually assertive guy in canon is depicted as being submissive and needy [example: dr. ratio in honkai star rail, childe in genshin impact, kabru in dungeon meshi], only difference being he's being written with a pussy. usually quiet girl in canon is depicted as being a dommy mommy [example: hanya in honkai star rail, ayaka in genshin impact, falin in dungeon meshi], with the only difference being she's being written with a dick)

so what do fem and masc mean?

fem and masc just refer to gender presentation. it doesn't have anything to do with gender or assigned gender at birth. fem =/= female, masc =/= male. fem cis gay guys exist, masc cis women exist.

so if i go into a fanfic and it's labeled fem!reader, i'd expect a fem reader with a slightly more feminine gender presentation. words like perfume, clothes like skirts or dresses, etc. if i go into a fanfic and it's labeled masc!reader, i'd expect a reader with a slightly more masculine gender presentation. words like cologne, clothes like suits and ties, etc.

nuance: yes, this is a very basic breakdown of gender and gender presentation. mascs wear skirts and fems wear suits, i am well aware of that fact. but this is fandom, and this is what i have personally noticed in fandom spaces. i'm not trying to teach gender studies 101. i just want to read fanfics.

how are these terms being misused? again, it is improperly designating the reader's sexual anatomy. fem does not automatically mean pussy. some fems have dicks. masc also does not automatically mean dick. some mascs have pussies. these terms also do not have anything to do with sexual preferences. some fems like to top and/or dom, some mascs like to bottom and/or sub.

if you're wanting to designate a female reader, the most common usage i see is f!reader. same with male reader using m!reader. if you're wanting to specify that you're writing a cis reader, you can always write cis!f!reader or cis!m!reader.

is your reader truly gender neutral?

there's been a few times where i'll go into a fic that's labelled as gender neutral and be slapped with gendered terms. most of the time it's a one and done thing, but other times it'll be throughout the fic and i'll need to exit out of it. and, to be honest, a lot of the time i just chalk it up to people not editting.

my advice is just comb through your work very carefully. look for any instances of gendered terms, like pronouns or pet names or descriptions of clothing. if someone is willing, find a beta reader to go over it and maybe pick up on something you've missed. learning to degender your thinking is difficult given how heavily a gendered world we live in, and people are bound to slip up every once in a while. hell, i do it as well and find myself having to correct myself in my writing sometimes.

gender neutral does not mean non binary!

this isn't as common as other instances, but i do see it every once in a while. not every non-binary person uses they/them pronouns and may, in fact, use neopronouns or he/him or she/her. or use multiple pronouns! so gender neutral fics aren't inherently non-binary fics.

trans is not a dirty word!

this is honestly kind of inspired by a recent uptick in people describing male characters as afab!male character, and seemingly refusing to use the word trans in any of their content. and to be completely honest, when it's coming from non-trans people, it's kinda weird and an auto block for me at this point. because like, you're wanting to write about fucking men with pussies or fucking women with dicks, but it reads like you're scared of using the word trans like it's a bad word. it also sounds like you're centering the fact that this male character has a pussy, or this female character has a dick, and making it like a "ohhhh look at this!!! this is so unique!!!". and fandoms are notorious for fetishizing trans people, so it feels a bit borderline fetishy, especially when it comes from non-trans folks.

side note: i am a single trans person. i do not speak for the hundreds of thousands of trans people in existence. please do not harass people that do this, i am just stating my own personal opinion. as said at the beginning, i am a yapper with opinions.

this is also about non-trans men/mascs writing afab!male characters or non-trans women/fems writing amab!female characters, i am not talking about trans men/mascs writing trans men/mascs or trans women/fems writing trans women/fems.

but men with pussies exist in real life! women with dicks exist in real life! trans people exist in real life! trans is not a dirty word! just say trans and explicitly state the anatomy terms and pronouns you're using! it's so much easier to communicate to your readers what to expect!

so what formatting would you recommend to communicate well with my readers?

honestly, it's gonna sound weird, but just lay everything out so the reader can make a choice on whether or not they want to read your content. some examples that i've used in the past as well as a few others i can think of atm.

this is for specific characters i write bc i got tired of writing reader over and over again lmao.

blade is depicted as trans masc and uses he/they pronouns. he is non-op for both top and bottom surgery. his chest is referred to as his chest with descriptions of him wearing a compression top, and his anatomy is referred to as tdick and tcock. his strap is referred to as his dick.

jing yuan is depicted as a trans man and uses he/him pronouns. he is described as having top surgery scars and a fully healed phalloplasty. his anatomy is referred to as dick and hole. his partner calls him "prince" and "handsome" throughout the series.

pantalone is depicted as a trans masc and uses he/him pronouns. he is described as having top surgery scars, silver bar nipple piercings, but no bottom surgery. his anatomy is referred to as chest and tdick/tcock. his partner calls him "sir".

reader is gender neutral and uses they/them pronouns. they are described as having a chest, and their anatomy is referred to as hole. there are references to wetness, but it can be interpreted as spit, natural lubricant, or artificial lubricant. their partner does not use pet names with them.

sampo is depicted as crossdressing in this fic, but continues to use he/him pronouns. he is described as wearing a dress and heavy make-up. his chest is referred to as breasts, while his anatomy referred to as dick and hole.

luocha is depicted as a trans woman and uses she/her pronouns. she is described as having breast growth but no bottom surgery. her chest is referred to as breasts while her anatomy is referred to as clit and pussy. her partner uses the terms "princess" when talking to her.

ningguang is depicted as a trans fem and uses she/her pronouns. she is described as having breast growth but no bottom surgery. her chest is referred to as breasts while her anatomy is referred to as her strap.

if it sounds weird me using the word "anatomy" for a person's sexual anatomy, it's bc i'm trying to avoid any possible moderation lmao.

anywho. i'm done yapping for now. if you've got any well-intended questions, please feel free to shoot me an ask and i'll try to get to it in a timely manner. i'm also happy to discuss how trans people are frequently fetishized in fandoms, or anything else that people may be curious about.

but please do remember that i am one single trans person, i am not the end all be all of trans opinions. i just yap a lot.

[shelbgrey]

My MasterList of Stories

Master List part 2

~request are CLOSED

Codes:

Smut=❤️‍🔥 Fluff=💕 Angst=💔 Funny=💖 Horror=🫀

🔬Bones💀

Dr. Lance Sweets:

Smut Alphabet❤️‍🔥

Caught in the act ❤️‍🔥

Dating Lance Sweets HC💕❤️‍🔥

Adventures in babysitting💕

You belong with me💕

Lance Sweets as a Dad headcanons💕

Dream Warriors💔🫀

Bones Halloween Special🫀💖

Code baby Part 1 💕

Let me take your pain away💕💔

Dr. Jack Hodgins:

Can't buy me love💔💕

Jack Hodgins Having a little sister💕

What's it gonna take to get you out of his lab?❤️‍🔥

Agent Seeley Booth:

Dating Seeley Booth Headcanons💕❤️‍🔥

Being Seeley Booth's Best friend HCs💕

Friends to Lovers Headcanons💕

The day we met💕

In the name of love💕

Agent James Aubrey:

Falling in love with James Aubrey after losing Lance 💔💕

Falling in love with James Aubrey after losing Lance Sweets part 2💕❤️‍🔥

Smut Alphabet❤️‍🔥

Unspoken desire❤️‍🔥

Dr. Wendell Bray:

Witchy Squintern HCs💕

Dr. Camille Saroyan:

who broke the coffee pot?💖

The Squinterns:

Adventures in babysitting💕

Being Hodgins sister and being a goth Squintern💕

Dr. Zack Addy:

I've got your back💕

Who's got him smiling like that?💕

❤️‍🩹Grey's Anatomy🩺

Dr. Derek Shephard:

Halloween special💖🫀

Injured💔

The Ballad of Jayne💔

Stuck in the middle💔💕

Stitches💕

This is Why I Don't Go To The Gym💕

Baby on the brain💕

Dating Derek after he broke up with Meredith💕

Love at first sight💕

Dr. Mark Sloan:

November Rain💔

Faithfully💔💕

We are family💕

Christmas Special💖

Dr. Owen Hunt:

Trauma 101💖

Dr. Jackson Avery:

Love Story💔💕

Dr. Alex Karev:

Heaven💔

Dr. Miranda Bailey:

Your my favorite💕

Dr. Nick Marsh:

Secrets out💕

🗡️Once upon a time🍎

August W. Booth:

Hidden secrets❤️‍🔥💕💔

Killian Jones:

Smut fic with Killan Jones❤️‍🔥

Prince James:

Hysteria💔💕

🩸Twilight🌲

Cullen family:

Fire safty💖

Going to the zoo💖

Cats in the cradle💕

Being Carlisle and Esme's daughter and having the Volturi wrap around your finger. 💖💕

Cullens:

Emmett McCarthy Cullen:

Next to me series💖💔💕❤️‍🔥

Forever now💕

Being Emmett and Rose's daughter HCs💕

Carlisle Cullen:

Being Carlisle and Esme's youngest daughter HC💕

Carlisle as your husband HCs💕

Jasper Whitlock Hale:

Jasper dating Bella's sister HCs💕

Edward Anthony Mason Cullen:

Dating Edward Cullen HCs💕

Crushing on Edward Cullen HCs💕

Rosalie Lillian Hale:

Being Emmett and Rose's daughter HCs💕

Denalis:

Eleazar Denali:

Glory of love series ❤️‍🔥💕💔💖

Dating Eleazar HCs❤️‍🔥💕

Garrett:

Voice of an Angel💔💕

Being Carlisle and Esme's youngest daughter and dating Garrett HCs💕

Wolf pack:

Seth Clearwater:

Perfect 💕

Volturi:

The Volturi:

Being Carlisle and Esme's youngest daughter and having the Volturi wrap around your finger💕

🧫Ghostbusters👻

Peter Venkman:

When unspoken rules are broken💔💕

Dr. Egon Spengler:

Hold on, I love you💔

Two Nerds falling in love headcanons💕

Ray stantz:

Dr. Jelousey❤️‍🔥

Something strange💕💔

🦁🐍Harry Potter🐦‍⬛🦡

Draco Malfoy:

Say Something💔

Dance the night away💕

Just keeping an eye out💕

The truth doesn't always hurt💔💕

George Weasley:

Welocm to Gryffindor💔💕

You belong with me - part 1💔💕

Fred Weasley:

Being a Potter twin and falling for Fred💕

Neville Longbottom:

Your Breaking My Heart💔

Weasley family:

Being adopted by the Weasleys💕

⚔️Supernatural🌘

Gabriel "the Trickster":

Gardian Angel💕

Hyper girl💕

The Winchester and the Trickster💕

Love of a lifetime💔

Dean winchester:

Dating Dean Winchester Headcanons💕❤️‍🔥

Castiel:

Being in a love triangle with Dean and Cas💕💔

🎶Elvis Presley🎸

Austin!Elvis Presley:

Love me tender💔💕

💥Marvel🦸

Scott "Cyclops" Summers:

Dating Scott Summers💕❤️‍🔥

A not so White Wedding💕

Clint "Hawkeye" Barton:

Secrets out💖

Whatever it takes💔💕

Tony "Iron man" Stark:

All of me💔💕

Bucky "winter soldier" Barnes:

Treat you better💔💕

Howard Stark:

Time In A Bottle💕

Dr. Stephen Strange:

I won't say I'm in love💔💕

Avengers:

Ohana means family💕

Six avengers and a baby💔💕

[lotusbxtch]

SoCal to NorCal - Series Masterlist (Ongoing)

Series Pairing: husband!Joel Miller x f!Reader x boyfriend!Frankie Morales Series Summary: Joel is your rock, and Frankie is your ocean. So what happens when you bring the three of you together?

- or -

you and Frankie roadtrip up from Southern California to Northern California so he can meet Joel. A polyamory fic. This series exists in the Triple Frontier universe and is a Joel Miller AU/Triple Frontier AU. Series Rating: Explicit, 18+ only, MDNI Overall Series Warnings: (please check each chapter for specific chapter content!) no-outbreak!Joel AU, polyamory, age gap (I have them in mind as: Joel is in his early 50s, Frankie is in his early 40s, Reader is in her mid-to-late 30s, but ages are not specifically mentioned so make it you, boo), threesome, multiple partners, MMF dynamics, MFM dynamics, fingering, oral (m and f receiving), unprotected P in V (wrap it up pls!), DVP, creampie, multiple creampies, cumplay, cum eating, hair pulling, spitting, alcohol consumption, food consumption/mentions of food, mention of drug addiction and recovery, car sex, fluff fluff and more fluff, but also so much smut, Frankie being the PEK, all of these men have big dicks, gratuitous descriptions of male and female anatomy, Reader is AFAB and uses she/her pronouns, Reader is able-bodied, has breasts, and has hair that can be pulled, otherwise no description of Reader's skin color, size, body shape, hair color, eye color, or ethnicity, Frankie has a young daughter but no specific reference to age, Sarah does not exist in this AU sorryyyyyy, no use of y/n Series Word Count: TBD Chapter 1: SoCal/Malibu (ft. Santiago Garcia) Chapter 2: Hwy 101 and Beyond (COMING SOON!) Chapter 3: NorCal/Muir Woods

Disclaimer: inspo art is mean for vibes purposes only - f!Reader is not written to be represented by any of the images.

If you would like to be added to the tag list for this series, please comment or reblog to let me know! 😘

Also, if there are things you’d like to see in future chapters - spicy or plot related, or both - also let me know!

[kaybreezy3000]

In The Flesh

Five Hargreeves / Reader Insert

Imagine that Five wasn't alone the entire time he was in the apocalypse...

-This is a special reader request for an extended scene from my Five Centric fanfic 'The Anti Hero's Pitfall of Arrogance.' Set during the apocalypse and Five is only 21.

-This request is a bit of a spoiler alert to the story that inspired it. It's written with a non-descript female character with no name, only referred to as she or her, so it's sort of a reader insert/you sort of vibe, or you can think of it as simply someone that Five loved. Think of it as you or someone else, either way, it's sad. 😭

Heed the warnings and click the link in the summary to read the full story if you want to get the full picture of what led up to this very sad moment for our favorite guy.

Warning: possible triggers, suicidal thoughts/behavior issues, alcohol abuse/excessive drinking, extreme grief/loss, graphic description of death/corpse, we get some Dolores in this, meant to be very sad, this fic this is based on is not all gloom and doom but it's clearly not all pretty either.

(5312 words)

In The Flesh

The funny thing about rock bottom is I’d thought I’d hit it many times before she saved me but really there is no depth far enough down to describe where I was after finding her body and where I would be for a very long time after that.

Like I’d done every day since I saw her favorite baseball cap bobbing on that partially submerged branch stuck out in the depths of the churning flood waters, I was out looking for her. On my endless searches, I would yell her name, over and over, till my voice was nothing more than a pained screech of air.

It was as I was scouring a new area that the water had receded that I went to shout her name again but stopped with only the first faint syllable. 

The moment I saw her distinctly colorful sandal and what appeared to be the discolored fragments of flesh still clinging to the bones trapped in it, the wind shifted, and my nostrils were filled with a pungent, sickeningly sweet, earthy odor.

That is what the smell of death is like if a body has been exposed to the elements for ten days or more. The anatomy and physiology decomposition literature states, a body exposed to the elements begins to decompose within less than 1 hour postmortem. That rate is accelerated if the tissues are exposed to other factors such blunt force trauma or heat and moisture.

She had been exposed to all of it.

I could still hear the ominous sound of the huge trees snapping and boulders grinding over things in the swift current as I walked along the road, just hours after she’d gone, only then, I didn’t know she wasn’t coming back. I didn’t know what was being done to her.

Now her body was there, under the hardened soil, but her foot was the only part of her that was visible other than her twisted tangle of hair wrapped around a river beaten branch. 

For the last week I’d been lying to myself, trying to hang on to the idea that she was still out there, that she was just too mad at me to come home. But really, in that time, she’d been first submerged in the torrents of flood water decimating that landscape, and then after, (not long based on the murky pool of muck and the very small cracks in the clay at my feet), she’d been there, encased in the ground. 

I cried out her name.

I dropped the stick I’d been using to poke and prod the underbrush, my body instantly disappearing for a fraction of a second into the snapping vacuum of my portal. Stepping out of it a few yards away, I fell to my knees, my trembling hands not knowing what to do or what was safe to touch. I moved to her foot, then pulled back as the tiny black flies that were startled by my presence flew up in an angry swarm.

The temperature since the day she disappeared had been colder but that had done nothing to prevent her rapid decay.

Entomology and Body Decomp 101: A decomposing body will attract all manner of life forms within 24 after death. If allowed access, scavengers are ruthless in their pursuit of the flesh of the dead. 

Having been well read prior to my time in the apocalypse and being well acquainted with death in the years before this, I was still not prepared for what I saw or had to go through over the next several hours it took to free her.

Her body was no longer her anymore, but I couldn't accept that. My mind told me she was under there and she was so scared. 

Frantically, I started digging with my bare hands. No matter how careful I was clawing at the clay that had molded her in the ground, anytime my fingers came close to her, they crushed her slick, wet remnants of flesh, tearing it through.

At this point, she had surpassed the early stages of decomposition. Gone was the bloating. The gases and liquids had mostly expelled, and her skeleton was letting go of her skin, though in some areas it remained in denser sections that were identifiable but mostly because her clothes had embedded in her. Her jean shorts made clear where her abdomen was, what was left of her chest was now part of her t-shirt.

What I was seeing and touching and smelling made my stomach heave over and over but still I had to save her.

She had needed me, and I wasn’t there.

Stage 4 post-decay lacks some of the first levels of putridity, but even though I had seen hundreds of thousands of faces of death, seeing hers will always represent the loss of everything; even more so than the day I’d foolishly ran into the future, lost my family, and found I couldn’t get back.

“No, no, no,” I sobbed, my filthy, bloodied fingertips inching along her face, or what should have been her face. “I am so sorry… Please!  No! God, please!”

The mouth I had cherished was gaping, her once perfect teeth were more exposed than they should have been due to the skin around them receding or simply just not being there at all. 

Her eyes…

Where once someone had looked back at me with so much love and endless understanding, now there was horror, both mine and hers. 

Sickness took me again.

Dizzy, I frantically scrambled back, away from where I had unearthed most of her, my stomach emptied, but nothing but acid spilled onto the scattering of broken foliage off to my side. 

My ears were filled with the evil buzzing sound of insects that were warming themselves in the open area around us as the sun relentlessly beat down.

I couldn’t take it.

A feral sound of pure agony crawled out of my chest, getting eaten away by all the nothingness.

“Please, I am so sorry… Please forgive me, I never meant for…” 

She wouldn’t except my words and I couldn’t blame her.

My broken cries were lost in my delirium. On hands and knees, I came back to her, lifting her to me even though I shouldn’t have.

The gruesome sound of parts of her stickily pulling free from the ground and the sight of the parts of her that remained in the soil were enough to fracture what was left of my sanity.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you, we can go home now,” I shushed her, in my head believing I had the ability to soothe her pain. 

She still said nothing, and I told myself it was because she was just too weak.

She just needed my help. She was just mad. She was just…

“You are safe now,” I said, my hand sinking into her, her spinal column hitting my palm not even enough to shock me back into reality. 

After cradling her for far too long, I said, “I am not leaving you here.” 

Lightly as possible, I let my shaking hand touch her hair, seeing but not acknowledging that it was starting to detach from her scalp. Without thinking, I forced the massive amounts of energy I needed for a jump, the blue power expanding from my hands, then around us. 

I only took us across the drying riverbed, up the steep embankment and up the hill to where the road hadn’t been washed out, and that was far, but it was not even close to getting us back to our cabin. For that, I had planned to teleport again and again, as many times as it took but when my feet smacked the ground the force of it made the tendons holding her right thigh to her hip give way and the length of her leg landed at my feet. 

“Fuck!” I screamed, slamming to my knees to grab her.

Like a madman, I could at least put together that she was falling apart and that this wasn’t going to work. Even jumping with her was too much. She was so fragile; she’d always said she wasn’t, but she was…

“I am so-ssss-sorry,” my voice cracked as I carefully laid her down again. 

The sight of those tiny black bugs as they fought to get a piece of the woman I loved, caused me to feel the burn of violent anger and that almost brought me to my senses, but even that too, I washed away with another imaginary idea, that if I just covered her, somehow all the severed openings that were now more her than anything else, would be spared from further ruin.

In a frenzy, I stripped off my shirt, covering her with it the best I could. The moment I was able to get to my feet again, I swayed, the world spun, but when it came back into focus, I could see again like lightning struck my head, brightening the gray world around me, making the colors of her bright sandals and her hair and the tattered remains of her clothing stand out in stark contrast to the deep darkened purple of her rotting body.

My filthy hand came up, rubbing my face and my blurred eyes, then my fingers tore back as I painfully yanked at my hair. 

I had done this to her.

Sniffling and on the verge of a full screaming fit of rage, I turned and started making my way up the road, a few steps away, my hands coming together, my fingers like claws, I tried to gather the light in my hands to blink again, but instead I was met with the impotence of the faintest swirls of azure static crackling to life then fizzling out. 

Turning back to the motionless pile on the ground, I again assured her I’d be back. Then in a haze, like a zombie on empty, I mindlessly made my way back, my mud-covered boots trudging up the steep hill, my balance faltering over and over as I’d tripped over the uneven surface.

If you ask me what I was thinking during that walk, I couldn't tell you. All I knew was that I was empty and that a horrible numbness was taking hold.

Even still, I came back fast, like I’d promised. First, I placed her in a thick blanket, sure to get every bit that was her that was there, anything that wasn’t, I never found.

“There,” I breathed, positioning her leg that had been torn off at the hip in such a way that looked less painful. Then flapping away any visible bugs from her, I covered her completely. Knowing that she was in the later stages of decomposition but that it was far from over and she was seeping fluids, I lifted her, and laid the cocoon of wool on top of a tarp. 

I could have carried her the whole way but not wanting to hurt her or break her apart more than she already was, I only carried her to the cart I’d brought back with me, then I carefully laid her in. 

Though she didn’t answer no matter how much I wanted her to, I spoke to her the whole way as I tugged the wagon with her in it up the hill. 

Getting back to our home, the mud encrusted wheels clattered to a stop in the yard right next to the chair I had been sitting in the day we had gotten into our fight. It was dead silent and getting so dark by that point that the stars were coming out but as if in a time loop in hell, I could still hear the cruel things I’d said to her on that sunny morning. 

Looking down at the small mound of blanket with her in it, I said, “You have to forgive me. I don’t know what to do without you. I don’t want to live with-”

My heart was racing, I couldn’t breathe. My chest felt a new tightness where before, since the hours after she’d gone and not come back, I’d only felt the stabbing pain of regret and fear, now it was like an aching void as if there were an actual hole inside me.

I stood there blankly staring at the door, then back to her, my mind not working at all but somehow still functioning enough to make the start of a string of very bad decisions.

Taking her up in my arms, we went inside. “We’re back. You're not alone anymore. I never meant to leave you out there like that. I tried so hard to find you,” I said, smothering my words against her wrap. “It’s okay now…we are okay…”

I kicked the door closed then I moved straight for our bed, and I would have laid her down in it and climbed right in if not for the fact that Dolores was sitting in the chair next to it, staring at me looking horrified.

‘No, Five, don’t!’

Saying nothing, I spun around to instead place the bundle in my arms on the couch in front of the fireplace. It wasn’t lit and it needed to be. That’s what she and I did at night. That was our other special place.

Memories of sitting there together, her behind me, reaching around to place my fingers correctly to play the chords she was trying to teach me filled my head. I could almost trick myself into thinking I could hear her beautiful playing and that I could hear her laugh at me every time I’d try to get out of my lessons.

“This is okay. I’ll fix this. We are going to be okay,” I said, as I started to unwrap her.

Dolores panicked at the sight in front of us. ‘Five, no. She’s gone. This isn’t right. What are you doing?”

I stopped, leaving her under wraps but I ignored Dolores’ s warning and started to light the fire. 

Again, Dolores asked, ‘Five, what are you doing? She is dead. You can’t do this to yourself.’

“She’s not dead!” I shrieked, my eyes filling with welling tears as I clenched my hands, my broken fingernails slicing half-moons into the flesh of my dirty palms. 

‘I am sorry, Five, but she is. You knew that after she didn’t come back.”

My head turned back and forth as I shook away a flood of tears threatening to come out and drown me like the water had done to all that I loved. I pinched my eyes shut, a broken whimper squeaking out of my throat.

‘Look at yourself, Five… You are not okay. That is why she can’t stay here. I love her too, but she is gone.’

I opened my eyes and looked at myself. I had no shirt on, my body was covered in mud and death. 

The smell of me… 

The smell of her poor body…

‘You need to bury her. She wouldn’t want this.’

“No,” I whispered as my body trembled and I stared blankly at the floor. “No,” I said again, then screamed, “Stop!!!! Just stop! Don’t you fucking talk to me! I didn’t ask for your help! It didn’t ask for any of this!”

Refusing to look up and see the hurt on Dolores’s face, I looked to the motionless pile of fleece blanket.

“I am not putting you out there all alone again, sweetheart.”

With that affirmation, and me placing a kiss to her covered face, the night did not get better.

In the light of the fire, I sat there on the floor in front of the couch as close to her as I could be without touching her. I wanted to protect her. I needed to keep my promise that I wasn’t going to leave her. 

So many times, she and I had discussed the possibility of me being able to jump back in time and the fact that doing so with her was going to make it all the harder for me to pull off. Even with the right math, and just me, the energy needed to do it was something I hadn’t figured out how to achieve. Even though she had said that me getting back was all that mattered, I refused to consider leaving without her. 

I couldn’t leave her, not then and not now; that was what I kept telling myself.

Sometime late into the night, slumped against the plaid couch, my head resting near hers though she remained covered, my demented and wrong train of thoughts slipped away, and sleep took me but in it l found no solace. 

~~~

As I came to in the early hours of the next morning with my body crumbled on the cold floor, I knew instantly that everything I wanted to believe was okay was not. 

The dimly lit cabin smelled of death and I was graced with the buzzing sound of a half a dozen or more flies that had found their way in somehow in the tiniest of cracks.

The decay had been clinging to me since I found her, but I refused to acknowledge it even as the putrid odor only added to my ongoing nausea. I clumsily reached for the stale glass of water I’d left at some point on the end table. Drinking it burned my cracked lips and the taste of it felt laced with a bitter acid. I wanted to retch but managed to refrain.

Then, wanting to remain living in the land of make believe, I got up, went to our small kitchen area, and proceeded to grab several bottles of liquor.

Dropping down next to her again, I twisted a cap, sloshing the clear liquid as I tipped it back, dumping the alcohol down my raw throat. 

It was awful but that was not the only time I’d drank to forget, or that I’d drank things that were questionable in their quality.

“Remember when we found that stash of cheap wine with the seals broken,” I quietly asked. 

I took a long pull at the bottle, then another as I peered over my shoulder at her laying there on under her favorite blanket.

“Smarter than me as always, you refused to drink any of it, but not me… Stupid as always, I gave it a try and boy did I pay for it. You had to baby me for the entire next day. God, I am such a lightweight. I’d be dead if not for you.”

I laughed, the sound of it thick with irony.

“You were always so good to me…”

Eyeing the dried mud and smears of her flesh on my pants, my eyes blurred. 

“I didn’t deserve you and you didn’t deserve this.”

I started to cry. Then I started to hyperventilate, my breaths coming too fast and my head spinning. 

Shuddering, I drank more and more but I could never turn the image of my girl’s face staring back at me from that riverbed into the beautiful living version I wanted so badly to believe was still with me.

Hours later, I was disturbingly drunk. 

One minute I was musing to myself about our better times, talking out loud like a maniac about something so wonderful, like one night that she and I were out scavenging too far to come back, and we’d camped out under the stars. I’d told her the names of all the constellations I knew and there were many. She’d quietly listened, cuddled up next to me, both of us just happy to be in love and together even if our world was a landscape of tragedy. 

Together, we could have done anything. We were going to save the world.

Now she was gone.

I had nothing.

She’d been everything and now I had no one again.

With the room spinning, I abruptly got to my feet, stumbling towards the window above the sink basin. The flies zipped and buzzed in front of me, landing in the vomit I had left there after I’d finished the first bottle of liquor. Knowing that those same dirty insects were landing on my beautiful girl made me quake with not just sickness but unmeasurable self-hatred.

I was a fucking mess, and I wasn’t doing right by her. 

Dolores was right. 

Glancing back to where I had abandoned Dolores almost two days prior, the room tilted in my vision. I dizzily turned back, clutching the white cast iron basin.

The light outside was fading. I wanted to go along with it. I wanted all the horrible pain and debilitating heartache to stop.

Laying on the butcher block counter space where we prepared our meals, was a sharp kitchen blade. With where my head was at, seeing it, I immediately thought of my gun and other times of morbid desperation. 

My tears burned down my cheeks.

I hated myself so much for what I had caused. If I had not yelled at her, and if I could only have seen through my arrogance and own my deficiencies, she would still be here. I didn’t and instead did what I’d always done and blamed anyone but myself for my problems.

I’d taken out everything on her, again…

If I’d only learned from my mistakes, things that weren’t okay never would have been said. She never would have felt the need to be away from me. She never would have gone for that walk, and if she had, I would have been by her side. If I had just agreed with her to go to the city to try something new, I may not have had the breakthrough we needed so badly but at least she’d be there.

Feeling on the verge of vomiting again, I wanted to disappear into an alcohol induced coma.

I pushed off the sink, staggering like a drunken idiot the whole way back to the dresser that was next to my side of the bed. In a blur, I saw Dolores sitting there on her chair, but she didn’t say anything. She looked every bit the inanimate object she was.

It was as if I’d killed her too.

I yanked the top drawer open, my hand tearing through the clothes to find the heavy black metal object that my fucked-up mind craved. 

My fingers grazed the cold instrument of death. I could feel the barrel of the pistol sticking down my throat, the oiled slickness of it slipping past my parting lips. 

Just the thought made me gag but with sick fascination, and I didn't’ stop thinking about it.

All it would take is one second and my finger on the trigger and no more guilt. My brain would be a splatter of nothing, painting the bedspread behind me. The place we’d slept and loved would be ruined just like we were.

Images of us, heated tangled flesh, together in those same blankets filled my mind.

To get away from the hurt that memory caused, I looked up, the weapon in my hand but my eyes aimed at the small dresser mirror. It was as if a stranger was looking back at me. My stomach felt like it was trying to crawl out of my mouth and my vision was closing in with blackness threatening to pull me under.

I was seeing things and hearing things.

The loud pop of the bullet; the sound of my body hitting the floor. 

I saw bugs crawling out of the jagged rotting hole in my skull.

Then I saw her face, only not the destroyed one that was hidden under the blankets on the couch. 

That was when I finally came back to myself. 

“Don’t you fucking do it,” I furiously screamed at myself, throwing the gun back down in the drawer.

My ears were ringing from my own terrified voice reverberating in them, then a few seconds later, the silence of death and that room returned.  

It was just me, the mannequin and the body.

Dolores was right, I needed to let her go. 

I had to bury her.

~~~

Over the next several hours, through the task of digging a hole in the ground, I sobered up significantly. Having done that, I re-entered the dank, horrid smelling cabin, removing the small pile of remains that had been the love of my life.

I was still covered in layers of filth and knowing that even if Dolores wouldn’t speak to me, she’d loved her as much as me and she’d want to be there to say goodbye, I quickly washed myself outside under the spout attached to the spring fed line that was rigged to the house. Splashing my face with a mix of soap and water, I cleaned my battered hands, and my arms, and I removed my soiled pants, tossing them in the woods. 

The water streaming down my body was ice cold and disgusting. My fleshly cleaned and very pale skin ran under my fingers, standing in stark contrast to the filth that I was and the sight of it only furthered the much-needed reality check I'd only recently found. 

Once I’d made myself somewhat more presentable, I redressed, then silently approached Dolores.

My voice cracked from being burned by stomach acid so many times and by my screams and lack of simply drinking or eating appropriately for days, but I had the strength and weakness to ask her for something I didn't deserve.

“Please come with me…I don’t want to do this alone.”

When Dolores responded with her softly spoken words of devotion, ‘You are never alone, Five. You will always have me,’ I was nearly beside myself with emotion. I’d thought I’d lost her along with everything else.

“Oh, my God, thank you,” I sobbed as I lifted Dolores up and carried her outside into the yard.

We approached the hole I’d dug. It wasn’t that deep, and it wasn’t that big, but it didn’t need to be. It was in front of an ancient but long dead ash tree that she had once told me had to have been something truly beautiful at one point in time when it was alive.

It was just like her.

The burial was silent, save for the sound of the blade of my shovel slicing through the softened pile of dirt I had removed and then replaced. 

The sky was getting dark, the woods full of shadows of monstrous things that looked like they could come out of the night and pull you away forever. 

I sat, folded in on myself at the base of the old ash tree, the disturbed soil at my feet as I looked up to the highest branches of the barren tree. Its flesh had been taken. Remanence of its bark were scattered all around me. It would someday be nothing but dust. 

We all would be, but it was not my time-yet.

Burying my head in my hands, I kept telling myself that. 

~~~

In the days that came after that, it rained and rained. My mind tormented me constantly with the flawed idea that she was trapped out there in the crushing wet ground. One second, I’d be haunted by images of her so scared and trying to breath and break free as then dirty water filled her lungs, and then the next, I’d come back to the dimly lit room I was in; Dolores worriedly watching me as I slowly organized things and cleaned up my many messes.

We couldn't stay there, but I couldn't bring myself to leave either, not when everything I had that she'd ever touched was right there. All around me were parts of her life that she’d shared with me. I’d clung to every trinket; every item of fabric that bore her scent. 

Lying in bed at night, I’d break down into sobbing fits of anguish with my face buried in her pillow. I could stay like that for hours on end, fading in and out, tricking my mind and heart into thinking I hadn't lost her and that she was right there in bed next to me. But it would never last because the damp coldness of the empty space around me that had once been warmed by everything that was her was an inescapable reminder that I had failed the woman I loved and who had saved me.

It was in a notion during one of these times of despair that I realized the only thing I could do to redeem what I had done was to fix this like I'd always promised her I would. Out there somewhere in time there was a place where the world was still alive, and she was in it and everyone I ever cared about was still flesh and blood and filled with life.

I had to get back.

The pain that happened here was real and always would be but somewhere out there, there was a chance of better things.

There was a chance of seeing her again.

That idea of saving her and my family was the only way, and it was my reason for breathing again.

Broken, but somehow still standing, my heart though not the same was still beating. The flesh covering my hand could still feel hers in it and it was while cherishing that feeling that I made the decision that it was time to go. 

On our final day, I got up like every day since I’d put her in the ground under that tree. I came outside, picking up the wildflowers I had left for her the day before, then I went for a short walk, talking to her in my mind the entire time, making my usual promises while I worked through ideas and math and things that gave me hope. Then I’d come back, refill her favorite vase with new water and place the colorful blooms there above her.

Alone, the sun shone down on me, my shadow stretching across the earth above her, giving the illusion that we were laying there together.  

“I love you,” I whispered, my eyes blinking back the enormous weight I felt from her loss and would always feel.

I liked to think I heard her say she loved me back, but I knew she didn’t; it was just a memory of her words tickling my ear as her lips gently kissed along my neck.

I shivered from head to toe as I felt the ghost of her touch but not in a bad way.

I smiled, sniffing like a baby as I rubbed my eyes.

Then, making one last promise I said, “You will be okay. I’ll fix this.”

Going back in the house, with Dolores watching all the while, obedient and loyal and loving with words of encouragement, I packed my final things.

I left our cabin spotless and set up as if we were coming back to it. It was as if I could see us in there again, spending our nights in front of that fireplace, laughing and endlessly teasing each other; our bed ready for us to lay down in and explore each other in new and exciting ways that only made our love stronger. I saw all that but in the back of my head I knew I was never going to come back to that place because it was gone, and if I did return, I may never leave her.

So, it was with that in mind, late in the morning, I loaded Dolores with our supplies, setting her next to the hard black guitar case that held her cherished Christmas present I'd given her and so many other things I couldn’t let go. I pulled a blanket around Dolores and the case, as if the instrument inside it had become something in a way of being the woman I’d lost, so much the way Dolores was a real thing that needed my care and love. 

I walked to the old, grayed ash tree, its wind worn and smooth branches shone in the warm sun as I looked down at the ground where I’d left a piece of my heart. I could almost hear the sound of her playing my favorite sone and I knew that when I plucked those strings, a piece of my heart would break a little more with each strum, but I’d be back with her.

My lower lip trembled, and my nose burned with the same heat as my eyes.

“Until we meet again, my love…”

Thank you for your support , this special cover art was made just for this and for you.💞 @groovydazephantom

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[sooinbloom]

Wedding Dress

pairing: kyungsoo x you genre: angst, fluff, lost love, slight smut word count: 3,619 description: Kyungsoo has one last chance to prove his love for you, and it just so happens to be on your wedding day to a man that you don’t love. warnings: mentions of domestic/relationship abuse and violence, minors DNI author’s note: hello dear reader. this is another one shot that was collecting dust in my drafts. This is heavily inspired off of the Grey’s Anatomy Jackson x April arc where Jackson confesses his love to April at her wedding to Matthew. I also had, “Wedding Dress” by Taeyang playing while I wrote this. Those two elements came together to make this fic. There are mentions of abuse, please proceed with caution if this is a sensitive subject for you. Thank you for your likes, reblogs and shares! I appreciate it more than you know. Dividers by @saradika-graphics , photo is not mine.

- Aria

It felt like 100 years had passed since you said goodbye to him. It felt like longer, but Kyungsoo knew he could exaggerate details when it came to you and living life without you. He remembers the moment you said goodbye, it was confusing but also made so much sense.

He failed you.

On the night of your breakup, you told him everything that was on your mind and he hated it. You felt that the relationship was going in circles in an endless guessing game of back and forth. Up and down. The endless questions that embedded themselves in your mind without any answers. Feeling abandoned, unimportant, the list started to accumulate. It felt like you were in a relationship with a completely different person than you had met and fallen in love with your first year of university.

 To be clear, it wasn’t that Kyungsoo didn’t love you or care about you. He did. He adored you. Ever since the moment you met in ECON 101 in fact. It was such a specific place to meet someone. A lecture hall full of people and the meet-cute set up was something out of a movie. Kyungsoo saw you from across the room and could not take his eyes off you. He just didn’t account for the fact that there was a wall in front of him that he didn’t notice until he walked right into it. While stumbling to the floor of the lecture hall, you had a laugh and helped him up.

Despite the embarrassment of your first meeting and a few awkward run ins at the university library, you and Kyungsoo became study partners. This continued for at least half of the academic year and you began to dance around the fast that you had feelings for each other. At the same time, you were grateful for the budding friendship at least. What started as something very innocent turned into something else entirely one night in his dorm room.

After an uneventful evening of studying and soft conversation over cups of coffee, the young and not-so-confident Kyungsoo took a risk and kissed you. The kiss was unexpected, hungry, and so needed to break the tension that built for months between the two of you. Something between you two awakened. Love began to bloom. He became yours, a position he thought was irrevocable. He got comfortable at the notion of you and not growing with you.

Somewhere in between Kyungsoo finishing law school and you branching off to go to culinary school, the relationship fell flat. Then crashed. Then burned. Ashes of your memories together were all that remained mixed in with every should’ve, could’ve, would’ve that existed in Kyungsoo’s mind.

Kyungsoo had an inkling your parents were relieved; he was not exactly the guy that they envisioned for you. You were not a rich girl, but your family was well off and expected you to marry a social status above you. Ridiculous? Yes. Characteristic of you? Not in the slightest. That didn’t necessarily matter to your parents, they thought they knew what was best for you, emphasis on thought. Every single day regret lived in Kyungsoo as he watched you date some idiot named Ren. Your parents had set you up with him not even a month after yours and Kyungsoo’s breakup, despite your protests of wanting to be single and focus on your career. What kind of name was Ren anyway?

Ren had money, nice cars, and a fancy job at his father’s brokerage. That meant nothing to Kyungsoo, he knew Ren would never care for and love you the way he did, even though he did not fully show you the love you absolutely deserved. Kyungsoo was grappling with the fact that Ren was marrying the love of his life, the one that got away.

Now, Kyungsoo had an hour.

An hour to stop an entire wedding.

Kyungsoo's friends tried to talk him out of his plan to stop the wedding of his ex-girlfriend, but he could not acknowledge logic over love. Chanyeol had spent countless hours on the stool next to Kyungsoo at their favorite bar, hours after the law firm closed and Kyungsoo was four beers deep in wallowing over you. He would ask Kyungsoo over and over if this is what he really wanted to do. Chanyeol also knew once something was in his best friend’s line of sight, there was no changing his mind. It was as counter productive as mixing oil and water trying to reason with Kyungsoo at this point in his decision making.

On paper, Ren was a great guy. Kyungsoo, being a prosecutor, knew there were many men that looked good on paper and were absolute monsters in reality, behind closed doors of course. The realization that his suspicions were correct came in the form of your friends telling Kyungsoo the truth about your relationship with Ren.

 One by one, friend by friend, the truth came together. Their stories matched and didn’t leave out a single detail, as difficult as the details were to stomach. Ren was a millionaire, sure. There was a secret he was hiding from the world. He was a man with little patience and a temper. His family did their utmost to hide the fact that he battered every woman he dated, including you.

What you did not know was that Kyungsoo knew.

The first time Ren laid his hands on you, you were terrified that your friends would tell Kyungsoo. They knew that it was not easy to explain the reasons why you were black and blue. The words seemed as generic as a PR statement, that you didn’t think you would ever be in this position, he didn’t mean it, any excuse to make Ren look innocent though blood was on his hands.

Your friends explained to Kyungsoo that you made them swear not to say anything to anyone. Fortunately, the friend group you had cared enough about you to not even listen to your requests. Each request was futile, ignored. If they kept quiet, Ren would end up killing you. They did what they could, but it was not enough to get you away from your abuser. The cycle was embedded into your brain, became routine, and felt impossible to escape.

The violence against you continued and your friends felt no choice but to tell Kyungsoo a few weeks before the wedding that it wasn’t getting any better. Kyungsoo did what he did best and gathered evidence. It was the only thing that silenced the screaming voice inside of his head to throw caution to the wind and erase Ren from existence. Kyungsoo spent most of his time plotting how to get you away from Ren. The only solution was to crash the wedding and get you to run away with him.

He had to give you a grand gesture, he had to save you.

Kyungsoo anxiously adjusted his cuff links, smoothed his neatly combed hair, and adjusted his lapel one more time. Taking a breath, he rehearsed his speech over and over in his head to make sure not one word was missing. Every second counted, every word held weight. He just hoped they would tip the scales in his favor.

On the drive to the wedding venue, Kyungsoo listened to songs that reminded him of you. He hummed along as his heart beat out of his chest. He knew he was out of his mind, but he did not care. There was still a chance that you would say no. Turn away. It was a chance he was willing to take if it meant you were away from the monster you were set to marry. If you were in his arms again you would only know love and nothing else.

God, he needed this to work… As outrageous as the plan was. There was no backup or do-overs. You were on the line, and needed to know you were everything to him.

Meanwhile, you were surrounded by people poking and prodding at you, getting your hair and makeup done for the biggest day of your life. Everyone around her was smiling, happy and emotional. You couldn't feel anything. Your heart was not with Ren at all. Your heart belonged to Kyungsoo. Even though the breakup felt like it happened so long ago, you constantly compared the two men.

Ren was initially a rebound that was carefully set up by your parents, Kyungsoo was the right person at the wrong time. You knew that the moment you said, "I Do", your chances with Kyungsoo would be gone. The breakup was so juvenile, the reasons were stupid. You could have fought harder, he should have put in more effort. You both would have been happy if you just got over yourselves and invested more time together to grow and fall deeper in love. In your point of view, the problem with Kyungsoo was that he did not show affection often and his work was a priority. Being on track to becoming a successful prosecutor at the time had its pros and cons, the cons being a very lonely girlfriend who desperately wanted to be your wife and craved her lover’s attention. If only you would have seen how your life would’ve turned out before breaking up with him, you never would have done it.

You hear your name being called. It snaps you out of your thoughts of Kyungsoo. You turn to see your mother with watery eyes.

"My baby, why aren't you smiling? This is the best day of your life!"

"So you think," you mumble as the makeup artist finishes your face. So far, you had done an excellent job at hiding the black eye that Ren gave you a couple of nights ago. 

"Baby, you are about to be set for life. What did I tell you about a man like Ren?"

"Keep my mouth shut, turn my cheek and endure." you whisper fearfully, "Kyungsoo would never do this to me."

"Ah. That Kyungsoo! And where is he now?"

"Enough, mother! Either you keep quiet or I will throw you out." you growl.

You walk over and put your wedding dress on, getting good photos for the wedding album. No one dared to question the healing bruise on your side, you knew that if you lied enough about clumsy injuries that no one would ask anymore.

Ren had initially presented himself as a good guy. He came from old money and was impressed by your skills as a baker. You owned a cafe downtown that Kyungsoo always encouraged you to open. If it weren't for him, you would not be as successful as you are now. Ren didn’t know your former lover was the reason you opened your bakery, that his loving encouragement rang in your ears any time you hit a milestone or even unlocked the doors in the morning.

Once the honeymoon phase with Ren ended the beatings started. They were violent, endless at times. It didn't matter what set Ren off, he'd always take it out on you. Proposing was his attempt of saying sorry. He knew you wouldn’t say no to him if he acted like he meant it. The pressure of the wedding planning made him even more violent. No one stepped in to help you, not even your friends… Or so you had thought.

You felt so unbelievably lonely in a world full of enablers. You had no courage left in you to call it off, fearing the wrath of Ren. You look at your reflection in the mirror. You were disgusted that you were not going to meet the one you loved at the end of the aisle. Instead, you were meeting nothing but a mask, a lie… Someone you loathed.

Kyungsoo watched closely from the vantage point across the street as people entered the venue, the clock minutes away from striking 4pm. He had to time this perfectly or it would all fall to pieces in mere seconds. Sweat beads started to drip down his forehead, anxiety pressing onto his chest. His eyes focused on Ren, the bastard was smug. He wanted to have his fist meet Ren’s jaw so badly, but he also knew that wouldn’t get you away from this man. It would only make things worse. Kyungsoo had to be patient, something he was learning the hard way how to do.

The clock struck 4pm and Kyungsoo got out of his car, casually walking across the street onto the outside steps of the venue. With a deep breath he sneaks into the very back row on your family's side and waited. The ceremony starts and Kyungsoo's heart starts to pound in his chest. 

He catches sight of you.

My God, you were gorgeous in white.

You looked immaculate; your beautiful hair pinned into a braided style with loose strands around your face. a veil lay attached on the back of your head and trailed down your back. The dress was lace and had sleeves, probably to cover the bruises Ren left. The idiot wasn't even smiling as he saw you, he looked completely unbothered. Kyungsoo's eyes narrow and he waited for the right time to make his move. 

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to celebrate the union of two beautiful souls. What a beautiful bond a marriage is, the couple wishes to thank all in attendance for supporting their union. Now, for formality I must ask, is there anyone in attendance that objects to this union? Speak now, or forever hold your peace."

It was now or never.

"Stop! You can't do this. I'm in love with you."

Your eyes divert from Ren and look down the aisle.

You couldn't believe your eyes, it was Kyungsoo!

Oh no. It was Kyungsoo. This wasn’t a dream.

His hands rest in his pockets as he walks casually down the aisle. The entire venue gasps and murmurs amongst themselves. Who is the handsome man calling for you? Why is he stopping the wedding? Isn't that Prosecutor Doh? How does she know such a man?

"What the hell is he doing here? Did you plan this?" Ren growls in your ear.

"I had no idea." you whisper, your posture straightening at the tone of Ren’s voice.

"Baby," Kyungsoo starts while walking further down the aisle, "This man doesn't deserve you. He can't even treat you well. It killed me to know you were marrying someone else, and I recalled my many mistakes I made in our relationship. Now, we have our chance to start again, I'm sorry I didn't speak sooner." 

Ren had a death grip on you.

You fought to get away from him until your arm was free. You slowly walked down to Kyungsoo and meet him in the middle of the aisle, your hands shaking.

"Excuse me, Prosecutor, but you are out of line!" Ren calls from the altar, "My sweet love, get back up here."

"No, you don’t get to do that. Not now!" Kyungsoo points at Ren, fury written on his face and coating his voice, "I have every right to be here and to do this. She has a choice now, it's up to her. She is not married to you yet." 

You look between Kyungsoo and Ren, the choices laid out in front of you.

"Love," Ren calls.

“She’s not your love.” Kyungsoo snaps.

Kyungsoo takes your hand, stroking your fingers. 

"If you don't want to do this, say the word and we'll go." Kyungsoo whispers.

Out of anxiety, you look to her parents and your future in laws. Marrying Ren isn't what you want and you know it. This gesture was the biggest Kyungsoo has ever made. You search his eyes and find nothing but the love you sought in him. How is this possible? Your friends told you how he never dated after you, and it never felt real or believable. Kyungsoo was far from not being handsome or kind. He was the whole package.

He’s everything you need.

You loved him, oh God, did you love him.

Hesitancy fills you, knowing you would have to explain everything to Kyungsoo about your relationship with Ren. Kyungsoo sees the hesitation and tightens his hold on your hand. "I know everything, and we can throw his ass in jail for what he's done to you. He'll never hurt you again, baby. I'm sorry I confessed to you this way. I’m sorry it took me this long to get to you.”

You turn to Ren and take a breath, both of your families and friends awaiting your answer with a mixture of judgement and hope. You shake her head and walk toward Ren. Kyungsoo's bravery depletes, knowing that with each step he's losing you. 

Until you take off the engagement ring and place it in Ren's hand. "Goodbye, Ren."

Kyungsoo's smile beamed across the entire venue as you ran to him. Together, the two of you run out of the venue and to his car. He drives off and heads to the coast. 

"Let's get you out of this dress, baby." Kyungsoo groans.

You nod and Kyungsoo's fingers easily undo the row of buttons along your spine and slowly allows the dress to fall that held you captive to another man.

Out of fear, you hug the dress on your body in an attempt to hide yourself from Kyungsoo, your lover. You didn't want him to see what Ren had done to your body, he'd lose it. The man holds you, his beloved, and a look of concern flashes on his face.

"Baby..."

"No, you can't see."

“It’s okay. I already know. Your friends told me everything. Let me take care of you. Please.” Desperation and longing coated Kyungsoo’s words, he meant every single thing that left his mouth. Your grip loosens on the dress and you drop it, your body covered in just a strapless bra and underwear.

Kyungsoo’s fingertips grazed your skin, helplessly trying to figure out why someone would hurt a woman as lively and beautiful as you. There was no filter on Kyungsoo’s thoughts, they only multiplied as he slowly revealed the black and blue marks that attempted to camouflage your skin. The enamored man took your hands, guiding you to the bed.

“I could kill him for what he did to you, but not even then would it be justice. He deserves to burn for everything, for all the pain he caused.” Kyungsoo says in between soft, gentle kisses.

He held you like you were fragile, despite the fact that he knew you weren’t as delicate as you seemed. The only thing that he was certain of was that in this moment, you needed to be fragile. You needed to be assured that this would never happen again. He could at least do that for you.

The desire that once drove his every move depleted into concern and care. His fingers danced on your skin, then moved to unbutton his shirt. His tie was lost somewhere by the entrance of the hotel room, but that was the last thought in his mind at the moment. As he unbuttoned his shirt and slid it from his body, he encouraged you gently to sit up.

“What are you doing?” You question.

“I want you to be comfortable.” Kyungsoo mutters, fastening the shirt around your body.

 Memories flicker of how you’d be just like this after long hours caught in between his sheets and his body. How you clung to the bed as you begged him for more. How after you’d always find whatever shirt he was wearing and put it on. In a way, he knew you did it for comfort but also as a sign that you belonged to him. You didn’t have to, but you wanted to have him on you and around you even if you weren’t being intimate in that moment. His shirt would suffice for his hands being kept to himself.

“I am comfortable. I’m with you. I just wish you said something a hell of a lot sooner than my wedding day.” You know your words sound harsh, but Kyungsoo knows you better than you know yourself. He understands what you are saying without an explanation. You missed that.

“I have shitty timing. I know.” Kyungsoo chuckles as his fingers dance along your thighs. His eyes meet yours, eager for a response. He missed your voice. The soft exchange of words that felt so easy. He watched you take a breath, pull him into you and he went more than willingly.

“No. It’s not shitty timing in hindsight. You saved me from a lifetime of misery and reminded me that even though we’ve been apart… It’s always been you. You were stubborn and so was I when we dated. We were young and had no idea what life could offer us. Now don’t think for a second you have shitty timing. It’s me who makes shitty decisions and you have to rescue me from them.” You sigh.

“Not in the slightest. We make mistakes. It’s okay. What matters is that you and I are here right now. And that bastard will never lay a hand on you ever again. Ever. I’ll make sure of it.” The enamored man nods.

Your heart pounds as he kisses you. The need and desire returns full swing between the two of you. It felt right to be with him in this room. To be in his arms. To feel him melt with you.

Once again, he proved that he has always been the one, your last, everything that you ever needed and so much more.

[aziraphales-library]

Hi!! I sent in a help request a couple of days ago (the one about the Byzantine court and Crowley turning Merlin into a tree) and I'm... hoping? That when the time comes you'll be able to match up my username and know that you don't need to answer because my problem is solved! I stumbled across Anatomy 101 by Fyre again, by chance, and that's the fic!

2/2: Hello! I have lost a fic, and I wasn't able to spot it in your linked tags, so I must beg for direct assistance. It was a through-the-ages story - one chapter featured Aziraphale as a lady at the Byzantine court and Crowley as a Varangian guard, and in another, Crowley turned Merlin into a tree and then got drunk about it. Genuinely not sure of the rating, the author may have tagged it E, or may have held off on a label altogether, with how elusive it's been in my searches. D:

Thanks for coming back to let us know you found it!...

Anatomy 101 by Fyre (E)

Two humans are enjoying some alone time. A demon has questions. An angel has answers.

- Mod D

[so-long-soldier-writes]

~ updated: 6/15/24

~ read tags before reading; each fic is thoroughly tagged  

~ back to masterlist

✨ ~ fluff

🖤 ~ smut

⛓️ ~ dark &/or kink themes

💚 ~ angst

🌈 ~ fun themes

• never let me go ~ (here) (ao3) 💚✨

you're getting used to the coldness in your apartment. the chill that lingers in the air, the absence of his presence. for four months you wait for him, willing for the past and cursing those who've altered your future; wishing for the way things used to be, and hoping they wouldn't be lost beyond repair. but the next time you see him, out on your doorstep, you realize you can't just pick up the pieces, you have to restart the whole puzzle. (heretic!kai) pt. 2 ~ (here) (ao3) pt. 3 - (here) (ao3)

• gorgeous ~ (here) (ao3) ✨🖤

troubled by his own body, kai's afraid to go all the way with you. that is, until you confess you love him regardless of the way he looks, giving him just the confidence he's needed all along. (tw: implied abuse & s3lf h4rm) (virgin!kai)

• anatomy class ~ (here) (ao3) 🖤

kai + magic + boredom = trouble (high school au / both 18+)

• dog days are over ~ (here) (ao3) ⛓️💚✨

the post-wedding heartbreak never ceases. without him, life seems to lose its meaning. but despite your best efforts to depart and chase the void that seems to call to you, somehow you're held back. someone refuses to let you go. (tw: sui attempt)

• feeding 101 ~ (here) (ao3) ✨🌈

damon was a great teacher during elena's transition, but he's less than helpful when kai escapes hell and needs to feed. luckily, you're there at the right place, right time, and offer to teach him, (much to damon's disapproval). (heretic!kai)

• teensy little crush ~ (here) (ao3) ✨

you have a crush on kai you haven't been able to shake for weeks. unfortunately, you're too shy to do anything about it, either. but luckily, elena steps in with a plan, and helps you win over the witch's heart.

• the agreement ~ (here) (ao3) ✨💚(ish)

helping kai adjust to a normal life has its ups and downs, but he, of course, always wins in the end.

• good morning ~ (here) (ao3) ⛓️🖤✨

you and kai make an agreement to wake each other up one morning when the other's least expecting it. it has an… unexpected outcome. (tw: cnc / somnophilia)

• flying monkeys ~ (here) (ao3) 🌈

kai mentions in passing that he can fly a plane. you challenge him to prove it.

• new year's kiss ~ (here) (ao3) ✨🌈

it's tradition for new year's to start with a kiss… just like it's tradition to kiss under a mistletoe. and unfortunately, as traditional as mystic falls is, there's no way out but through

• of mice and... heretics? ~ (here) (ao3) ✨🌈

of all the problems to have in mystic falls, yours is mice... luckily, kai comes to the rescue (heretic!kai) (soft!kai)

• red ~ (here) (ao3) 💚✨

for forty years, kai only knew three shades of red. however, he finally finds his fourth and favorite the year he settles into a new life in mystic falls.

• bar shots ~ (here) (ao3) 🖤

your newest coworker takes his staring problem further up a notch.

• little wolf ~ (here) (ao3) ✨

kai bonds with the girl that lives down the hall from him in the boarding house. (wolf!reader)

• airport troubles ~ (here) (ao3) 🖤✨

you face some trouble with TSA while trying to catch your flight. the suspicious agent uses some unconventional methods to get the truth out of you.

• stormy weather ~ (here) (ao3) ⛓️✨

the rule is always the same: thirty minutes after it storms, kai can spend some time outside. that's when most people are still in their homes and it's too muddy for the children to go out yet. though this time, his father bends the rule, just a little, and lets his son out one wet, chilly afternoon. it just so happens that something bad is about to go down at that very same time, and luckily, kai is there to protect her. (tw: s3lf h4rm)

• our little secret ~ (here) (ao3) 🖤

you should've known wearing a short little skirt would rile him up. but then again... maybe you did it on purpose. (80s!step-brother!kai)

• make me a promise, please? ~ (here) (ao3) ✨💚 | requested

sometimes the easiest way to deal with pain is to feel it upon your skin. but of course, there's consequences to that. for years, you've been able to hide your scars, though, as you'll quickly discover, you can't hide the truth from your boyfriend for long.

• more than friends ~ (here) (ao3) ✨🖤

your "more than friends" status with kai is revealed when you lose hold of a silencing spell. jo, of course, has a lot to say about it. (80s!kai x witch!reader)

• his for eternity ~ (here) (ao3) ✨🖤⛓️💚 | requested

alaric steals a gemini grimoire, summoning you and kai back to mystic falls. trying to get it back proves to be a challenge with a risk kai’s not willing to take. (heretic!kai) (witch!reader)

• drunk words are sober thoughts ~ (here) (ao3) ✨

of course, on the night all your friends are hooking up, you get too drunk to take yourself home. walking home at night, drunk, and in mystic falls is not something on your bucket list, and to make matters worse, you can't help but feel a pair of eyes on you from a distance. so, feeling desperate, you call the contact given to you "for emergencies only," and hope that he shows.

• best cure for boredom ~ (here) (ao3) 🖤⛓️

you text your boyfriend, bored in class and looking for entertainment, but instead catch him in one of his needier moments. after two seconds of debate, you decide you have nothing better to do than to help him.

• favorite sociopath ~ (here) (ao3) ✨

damon and bonnie leave you in charge of babysitting kai. you accept willingly as time to get to know him.

• almost caught ~ (here) (ao3) ✨🖤

innocent cuddling turns into something more on one of the few nights a week joshua parker lets you spend alone time with kai. who can blame you, as strict as he is?

• bloodlust ~ (here) (ao3) 🖤⛓️

part of you knew it was wishful thinking to believe vampires couldn't sense period blood. your heretic best friend proves that true when he comes over to see you. in fact, to him, it smells even sweeter than the blood you normally offer, and he practically begs you for a taste. (heretic!kai) (virgin!kai)

• brooklyn ~ (here) (ao3) ✨

kai finds you wearing his shirt.

• see you at seven ~ (here) (ao3) ⛓️

you let kai feed off you for the first time. (heretic!kai)

• go to hell ~ (here) (ao3) 🖤⛓️

there's nothing like waking up realizing you've been kidnapped by mystic falls' own sociopath, malachai parker. will this day end with your blood on his hands, or will his sweet spot for you save your life? (tw: cnc)

• love bite ~ (here) (ao3) ⛓️

a make-out session gets heated. kinks are explored. a friends' dinner reveals all.

• nightmares ~ (here) (ao3) ✨

after three straight days of kai having nightmares, you can't take the cries anymore and need to intervene.

• he’s like a puppy ~ (here) (ao3) ✨

an argument starts up when damon and bonnie return to the boarding house to find you and kai spending time together. it goes south when you start to defend kai against your friends' remarks.

#1 - stomach ache ~ (here) (ao3) ✨

kai comforting you when you have a stomach ache

#2 - pink starbursts ~ (here) (ao3) ✨🌈

listening to caroline plan a party gets boring. kai finds a way to entertain himself.

#3 - can’t help that i love you ~ (here) (ao3) ✨

while you and kai aren't necessarily in a relationship, no one can ignore the way you are together. it started with kai's nightmares, bringing you to his side for nightly comfort. soon, gentle touches on his back led to full blown hugs and forehead kisses; simple conversation turned to long talks, and you're only getting closer every day. kai feels safe with you, and you're falling for him. maybe he's falling for you, too. this is why your "thing" needs to stop. right now. (soft!kai)

#4 - the dinner party ~ (here) (ao3) 🖤(minor ⛓️)

ten minutes before company arrives. five to finish up, two to clean up, one to fix your hair, and the last two to occupy yourself with something inconspicuous. a perfect amount of time. let's just hope they don't show up early...  

#5 - stupid, sad movie ~ (here) (ao3) ✨

since kai missed out on over a decade of movies, you now spend your nights watching the best ones. tonight's movie: titanic. (soft!kai)

#6 - “i took his virginity” ~ (here) (ao3) ✨🌈

you should've known kol would find out about your new boyfriend before you'd be able to tell him yourself. luckily, you're able to talk him into accepting kai, as long as he treats you right. (best friend!kol mikaelson x reader)

#7 - kissing disease ~ (here) (ao3) ✨🌈

despite the deal he had made with her several weeks ago, kai needs his sister for her medical opinion, again.

#8 - jumpscares ~ (here) (ao3) ✨🌈

kai has the worst timing for wanting your attention (best friend!kai)

#9 - hope ~ (here) (ao3) ✨⛓️

kai notices your scars.  (tw: s3lf h4rm)

#10 - aphrodisiac ~ (here) (ao3) ✨🌈

you can only listen to damon ramble on for so long before you lose focus. unfortunately, this time, your zoning out manages to cause maximum embarrassment when the rest of the group follows your line of sight.

#11 - sinful ~ (here) (ao3) 🖤

shoe humping with kai... specifically, those old 1994 converse

#12 - kiss on the cheek ~ (here)✨

kai receiving a kiss on the cheek would have no freaking clue what to do with himself. 

• dating yandere!kai ~ (here) ⛓️✨

• heretic kai x accident prone reader ~ (here) ✨

• driving lessons ~ (here) 🌈

• kai’s sex life ~ (here) 🖤⛓️

• king!kai / royalty au ~ (here) 🌈

• demon!kai x angel!reader // angel!kai x demon!reader ~ (here) 🖤⛓️

• how he would be academically / intelligence-wise ~ (here) [n/r]

• childhood best friends to lovers ~ (here) ✨💚

• werewolf alpha kai // kai's demigod parent (pjo) ~ (here) 🖤🌈

• kai with a lip ring ~ (here) 🖤(mild)

• body swap au ~ (here) 🌈

• comfort ~ (here) (ao3) ⛓️

a flashback to his childhood. a terrifying memory he thought he had repressed. | pre-1994 | (tw: [non-graphic] non-consent)

• the dog ~ (here) (ao3) ⛓️

kai hates the family dog. | pre-1994 | (tw: violence)

[freddie-77-ao3]

fic recs!!! mainly bc @ebony-reine-vibes is getting an ao3 account now and some of these fics really add to my personal headcanon or i reference them a lot

writers (as in i read EVERYTHING they write, adore it all, highkey rec but that would add like. 150 bullet points to this post):

caffienatedflumadiddle,

IzzyMRDB,

WardofWinters,

TheTimeTraveler24,

JustALilSnail,

and

shelfthe_reader

Short fics (under 30k):

Godly Parenting 101 series by Azei,

Thalia Grace's Foolproof Guide To Punching Luke Castellan In The Face by melimarron,

the miscalculations of lightning girl by stopiwanttotalkaboutcheese,

our ceiling is your floor series by mallsthemyth,

faces, voices, memories; by sobremesavpetrichor

The Ghosts Can Sing and They Ache to be Heard by skatefast_eatgrass

i'm the one you tell your fears to; there'll never be enough of us by anthropologys

In the Amber of a Moment by Rynna_Aurelius

War and Death aren't synonyms (but they're not antonyms either) series by miniongrin

fractured chesspieces by nerdling_queen

and

the anatomy of a hurricane by barbarianprincess

medium fics (30-100k)

the darkness of the depths is forgotten in the surf by poisedwalrus

camp counselors au series by buoyantsaturn

trading tomorrow by darkmagyk and loosingletters

Argonauts by RainKiss

Long fics (100-300k)

the grace of the gods is a grace that comes by violence series by californiannostalgia (have to have ao3 to view)

All Together, Cousins by CrimsonWriter

Trade of Trickery by Faeriekit

PJO Arranged Marriage/Royalty AU by Gates_of_Ember

the grace of the gods is a grace that comes by violence series by californiannostalgia (have to have ao3 to view)

All Together, Cousins by CrimsonWriter

Trade of Trickery by Faeriekit

To Preserve Or Raze 'Verse series by FoxyAtlas (again, have ao3 to view)

Extra long fics (over 300k)

august by cordeliarose

constellations series by liketolaugh

so collect your scars and wear them well series by yrbeecharmer

[toiletpudding]

Hey,

With the last comic I had a silly idea

who of the chaste and pure winged beings that inhabit the sky was in charge of explaining to our children the art of reproduction with anatomy 101 for beginners.

In other media I've seen they only explain that the fruit gave them that knowledge and that begs the question of how they expected them to be fruitful if they didn't know they were naked in the first place.

Congratulations for the good work as always

My personal theory is that the Seraphs all just gave them the whole birds and the bees talk in a super clinical way. But both Adam and Eve have the attention span of gnats so they're probably just kinda following their bodies.

I've also kinda been tempted to write a small smutty fic of that part btw. We'll see though.👀👌

[naughtynoodle]

Hi! Love your work 💕

I’m not sure if you take requests, but could you write a NSFW Azriel x reader fic where reader doesn’t know a lot about males (az may already have a thing for reader) and so Azriel offers to give her lessons?

Hello!

Sorry it took me a minute to get back to your request, trying to maintain being a responsible adult is annoying lol. I have to say I absolutely love the idea of this so hopefully I met your expectations!

Warnings: NSFW 18+, nudity, adult language, fingering, oral sex, innocence kink if you squint

Azriel x f!reader

Now onto the good stuff

Prime Specimen

You had been studying medicine for almost a year at this point, learning about various herbs and how they all went together. You aced your test that Madja gave you with flying colors, but now you had moved on to the next thing. . .

Anatomical studies.

The Female body was a piece of cake, after all - you had one. What you struggled with were the Males and if you wanted to be a good healer, that meant learning about absolutely everything. And you knew next to nothing beyond the basics if you were being honest with yourself.

You hummed absentmindedly as you crushed more herbs in the back of the clinic while reading over the texts of your book about Illyrians and their different wing shapes.

Azriel studied you from the doorway, you hadn't even heard him come in. A small smile played on his lips as he watched you, a slight frown on your face as you read something from a book. You always did that when you were concentrated, he found it quite cute.

Madja had brought you to Velaris a little more than a year ago, surprising everyone when an extra body followed behind her into the clinic. So young and wide eyed, shy even.

He cleared his throat and you let out a small gasp and whipped your head towards him as he smirked at you. Azriel smirked down at you and you narrowed your eyes at him before mumbling something under your breath that he didn't catch.

Your attention went straight back to your book and he silently walks up to you.

"What are you studying?" He asks, hands behind his back.

"I uh-" you cleared your throat and you felt blood rush to your cheeks and you internally cursed yourself for being embarrassed, "Wings." You decided to answer simply, hoping he would leave it at that.

But he did not, he saw the flush spread across your face and he couldn't resist prodding you more. He had always made you slightly nervous, he was a silent observer and you could never tell what he was thinking.

You feel the warmth from his body behind you and you freeze. How was he so damn quiet all the time?

He leaned closer as he peered over you to read your book, a devious smirk covers his face.

"Illyrian wings, huh? Shouldn't you know all of this already?" He was only teasing you but you still blushed even harder. You saw him reach over you to examine your other books. "Male anatomy 101?"

You tried to take the book from his hands but he swiftly moved it further away from your grasp.

"Y-yes, the Male body is complicated, now give me my book back!" You weakly try to excuse yourself but he chuckles lightly.

"Why read from this dusty old book when you can just get hands on learning?" He asks, and you make a light choked sound.

"Oh yes, because I have so many Males at my disposal." You roll your eyes and huff.

"You work in a clinic."

"That doesn't mean anything!" You squeak out, truth be told you avoided them as much as possible and he laughs.

"Oh c'mon sweetheart." the endearment just slipped off of his tongue so casually, "You just waiting on a prime specimen?"

You gaped up at him and his eyes were crinkled from the shit eating grin on his face.

"Maybe I am!" You narrow your eyes and cross your arms over your chest, "Yes, that is exactly what I am doing. Someone who will let me study as closely as possible - I have a lot to learn."

He hummed in response, leaning down closer to your face. Gods you were so easy to rile up.

"Very well, I'll drop by your home at seven so you can study."

The protest died on your lips because he was gone before you could even process what the hell just happened.

+

Seven arrived faster than you would have liked, your heart hadn't stopped pounding since your interaction with Azriel. You didn't even have time to fully prepare yourself on your short walk home because there he was waiting on your front doorstep, as punctual as ever.

You muttered a greeting and unlocked your door. Your home was cozy, littered with learning material and different medicinal plants. You were nervous and he could tell, it was amusing. He observed you silently as you unloaded your bag and put things where they belonged, leaving out empty papers and a pencil for your notes.

"Are you ready?" He asks and he sees you nod so he begins to take off his shirt.

"What- what are you doing?!" You shriek and cover your eyes and he chuckles.

"Can't learn about anatomy very well if you can't see it sweetheart."

"Oh." Came your weak reply, face already flushed. It wasn't that you didn't want to see him shirtless, he was just too good looking for his own good; it almost made you wish he was ugly so it would make this easier.

"Glad you think I'm good looking." His amused voice brings you out of your thoughts. Your eyes snap up to meet his and you realized you were speaking aloud.

"You must be hearing things." You try to argue but it was truly no use so you just grabbed a piece of parchment and your pencil and walked closer to him.

He really was beautiful, and had tip-top physique. His abdominal muscles were taut and had scars here and there. You instructed him to flex certain muscles and relax others, watching his tattoos move as he did as you instructed.

He was patient with you as you poked and prodded, answering all your questions.

"I um-" You cleared your throat, "I need to study your wings, if that's okay."

He nodded, moving closer to the center of your common area so his wings wouldn't bump into anything. With his wings more spread you took a step back to make a quick drawing of them so you could label different parts for your notes.

"Have you learned about the other races wings yet?" He asks over his shoulder.

"A little." You reply as you walk up closer to him to examine the wings membranes more closely, "I know Illyrian wings are not as pliable."

He hummed in agreement.

"Wings are also very sensitive, especially in certain areas." He adds, you weren't sure what he was trying to insinuate by 'certain areas' but you nodded. "You can touch them if you need to."

"O-okay, thanks." You flushed once more, putting your pencil in the same hand as your paper as you hesitantly touched them.

"Ah!" He shouts and you curse and bring your hand back as if you burnt him.

"I'm sorry! I-" The apology died on your lips when you heard him cackling, "You asshole! I thought I hurt you!" You shove him and he turns around, amusement dancing in his eyes.

"I couldn't resist, I promise I won't do it again." You huff and motion for him to turn back around, he obliged. You were feeling more confident now and used both hands to slightly move the different joints of his wings gently.

A hand reaches further in to trace one of the large veins and you hear his sharp intake of breath. You ignore it, rolling your eyes and continued tracing along the joints and membranes. You failed to notice how rigid he had gotten, too focused on trying to learn how the wings meshed together.

His shadows played around your ankles, tickling your skin.

When you finally flatten your palm on the largest membrane you hear a deep grumble emanate from his chest. You once again ignore it, thinking he was trying to mess with you and you applied more pressure with one hand and lightly traced another area with your other hand.

His shadows swirled and the room grew darker as he whipped around to grasp your wrists. You started to protest but stopped when you noticed the dark look in his eyes. You noticed his body was shuddering slightly and Azriel could tell you were confused.

"If you keep touching me like that you will get more of an anatomy lesson than you bargained for." His voice was low and gravely and his eyes seemed to burn holes into your soul as he towered over you.

"What do you mean?" Your voice breathier than you anticipated and his eyes seemed to dilate.

"Oh sweet girl." He tsked, his face closer now, "You seem to be more of a hands on learner."

You nodded, still confused. He moved closer and his shadows surrounded you; all you could smell was him. Then you felt it. Gasping your eyes went wide as you looked up at him.

"Y-you-" Your voice squeaked and devious grin crossed his face.

"I told you that certain parts of wings are sensitive, and you managed to find them and despite every physical warning you kept touching them." His face so close you could feel his breath as he spoke to you. He was making your head fuzzy and you could hardly think.

Your body was buzzing and he grasped your jaw and made you look at him.

"Tell me to stop." He murmurs and when you don't his lips meet yours causing you to melt into him further. His hand moves from your jaw to cradle to back of your head and he deepens the kiss.

He could surely feel the pounding of your heart. His other hand lands on your waist as your own snake up his muscular arms and around his neck trying to pull him even closer to you.

He groans into your mouth and guides the two of you to your couch. He sits quickly and moves you to sit on his lap, your core grinding against him making you whimper.

With both hands on your hips he guides you back and forth, the friction sending electricity up your body. Your hands tangled in his hair, tugging slightly and he shivers.

"Doin' so good baby." He murmurs to you, resting his forehead against yours. You grind a little harder which makes you both moan, and your panties soaked at this point.

"Az." You whimper and he smashes his lips to yours, the kiss more aggressive than the last. His hands roamed more freely, slipping under your simple dress to grasp your ass and squeeze which makes you grind even harder as he groans into your mouth.

"Smell so sweet." He grunts and he maneuvers you to where your back now rests against the couch and he hovers over the top of you. "Let me make you feel good baby."

"Okay." You whisper, staring up at him with innocent eyes. You wait with bated breath as you feel his hand slowly trace across your skin to the front of your panties. He groans when he feels the wetness that awaited him.

"Has anyone ever done this for you, sweet girl?" You shake your head and all sorts of filthy things cross his mind. "Hope you’re good at keeping mental notes, because this is the first of many lessons."

His fingers slip under the lace of your panties and you gasp. He had barely touched you yet you felt like you could combust at any moment. His nimble fingers slid up and down, spreading your wetness before stopping at the star of the show - your clit.

Your back arches and you let out a startled gasp which is quickly swallowed by his mouth. His fingers circle it slowly and your hips move of their own accord.

He loved the reactions he was able to pull from you, loved that he was your first. His forefinger and ring finger to spread your lips apart and his middle finger finds the most sensitive part of your clit.

"Oh fuck!" You cry against his lips, hips bucking up. You were intoxicating.

"You're so responsive sweetheart." He growls against your lips, applying more pressure exactly where he was. His finger making tiny circles as his mouth attaches to your neck. If he thought you were wet before, you were fucking soaked now.

"Gotta taste you baby." He mutters into your neck and you nod rapidly.

"Please." You were so desperate for more, at this point not sure if you ever wanted this to stop. You didn't realize you were saying these things aloud but it made Azriel even harder.

You watch him slide down further, placing a knee onto the hardwood floor as he slots himself between your legs. Your dress had ridden up long ago and he got a good look at your soaked panties. He placed a kiss over the fabric, and you whimper once more.

You felt the warmth of his tongue as he licks a broad stripe upwards over the top of your panties. He does this multiple times and you were about to beg for more when he slides your underwear down your legs and spreads you wide open.

His eyes even darker as he took in your wet center, all for him. With that he attaches himself to your clit and swirls his tongue around it causing you to shout out.

He places his hands behind your knees and shoves them up and apart. He needed room to feast on you. Using the thickness of his tongue he gets the top your lips apart once more so he can abuse that sensitive little nub.

Your hips jolt up but he holds you down exactly where he wants you and you babble incoherently as you try to move. You cry out his name and he moans into you, the vibrations shaking your core.

"Taste so good for me sweet girl." He groans against you and you let out a shaky breath.

He lets your legs rest on his shoulders as he dips his tongue down to your hole and back up again. You feel a thick finger wiggle at your entrance and plunge in.

"Az!" You moan, hands moving down to grip his hair once more. He felt so good and you almost couldn't believe this was happening.

His other hand opened the front of his pants to free his aching cock. Using his free hand he pumped himself as you moaned above him.

He ate you like a starved man, sucking harshly on your clit and swirling his tongue expertly as he pumped his finger in and out of you.

You could feel yourself getting closer and he knew it too. He added a second finger and curled them upwards which causes you to arch off of the couch and shout his name.

He kept hitting that spot and your legs were practically squeezing his head so he couldn't move away.

"Az- I'm gonna-" You stutter and he hums against you and curls his fingers once last time before you came with his name on your lips. He didn't stop though, he still gently licked at your poor little clit. Flicking his tongue.

"I'm not done with you sweetheart, you still have a lot to learn."

[justjasper]

i love your E rated/smut writing. do you have any tips for writing smut?

most of these are about reality/modern-based sex writing rather than fantasy stuff where all the bets can be off!

there is literally no god word to use for balls/testicles, it's fine

USE CHARACTER NAMES. no "younger/older" woman, "darker/paler" man, just use their names especially during a sex scene

do learn some basic anatomy, please look up where the prostate is, where the g-spot is

but fanfic sex doesn't need to be instructional, you are not teaching people how to have sex. it very much shows when you write like this

fanfic is also not consent 101. it's fine to just let your reader assume they're 100% into what they're doing, and i think "unnegotiated kink" should be reserved for scenarios where the kink is spur of the moment, not just "involves kink but no explicit discussion of it" (unless they're not meant to be, which one assumes would be made clear in tags or descriptions!!)

that said, writing about discussing consent can be really fun, doesn't mean you can never do it. you just have to vibe out whether it's adding to the fic or not

talking really helps break up sex scenes, so write at least one character who's chatty lol

plan out your sex scene so you don't get stuck with what's happening next. remember you can go back to it to flesh it out/work on the pacing. honestly most of my sex scenes start on the page as a list that goes: LICK LICK CIRCLE CHAT SUCK SUCK STROKE LICK SUCK GAG SUCK TALK BIG CUM

speaking of going back to pacing, literally invoking time can help make a sex scene seem longer without saying "they fucked for seven and a half minutes". "a long moment later" "by the time X, the sun had begun to rise/fall", "long into the night"

lube is preferable but optional, even for butt stuff. sex without lube doesn't mean it's painful or dangerous, especially for experienced butt stuff doers.

spit as lube is not a cardinal sin and is miles better than things that are actually dangerous (engine oil? things w sugar like honey? baby dont give your chars a yeast infection)

olive oil is fine but it's messy and it doesn't play w condoms, but fine if you're going historical

speaking of which, from my experience people in established relationships forego condoms way quick. and in general people forget to use them all the time. again, this isn't Safe Sex 101, it's fanfic.

but on the flip side, its sexy/funny when characters have lube and condoms to hand. there is no funnier environmental storytelling than there being a bottle of water based lube in the kitchen cupboard with the peanut butter.

simultanious orgasms are a pain to time and sure they're romantic but there's other fun climax dynamics. maybe one character feels duty/honour bound to always make sure their partner comes first

come/cum? it doesn't matter, just keep it consistant per fic

similar, be consistant with your body part names, even if you use a few. e.g. you use "cunt" in narration, but character A uses "pussy", keep that consistant.

you can still euphamise genitals without it sounding like you're afraid of them - sometimes six instances of "cock" in a row doesn't flow, that's when you should be utilising your "hardness" and "shaft" and "length"

the brain is a sex organ, and all the senses are engaged during sex. you can bulk out yor sex scenes and give great insight into the character experiences by describing what they're experiences with non-touch senses (or the lack of them, e.g. when blindfolds are in the mix)

even in pwp works, you're saying something about the characters who are fucking. you can give context and inferred complexity without plot. are they familiar with each other's bodies? is this new? are they confident, or nervous.

write for you! if you are a person who experiences sexual response to erotic fiction, then a good measure of your own work is if it makes you horny to write/re-read it. there's absolutely no shame about being aroused during the process. there's no harm in taking a wank break.

[kookaburra-laugh]

I read that in 2022 - GO Edition

hi friends, i come with a list of fic recommendations on this first day of 2023! for me, 2022 brought new friends and new fandom and im eager to share what i’ve read and loved with you all

not all of these were written in 2022, but that’s when i read them

Accept a Little Spin by nieded @nieded ​

rated E | 100k+ words (ongoing)

It's the 2023 season, and sophomore driver, Ezira Phale, is out to prove he's worthy of his seat at McLaren F1 as the world tests the boundaries of his confidence and his relationship with IndyCar driver, AJ Crowley.

Part 2 of Rainbow Road 🏁🌈

Waking Up Slow by the_moonmoth @themoonmothwrites

rate E | 88k words

After both being exposed to coronavirus, total strangers Crowley and Aziraphale are forced to wait out their isolation together. A tale of soft winter romance by the sea.

close quarters pining, slow and hot and full of feelings

stalwart sun, wily moon by dustnhalos @dustandhalos ​

rated M | 370k words

Anthony J. Crowley is a world-class art thief with a complicated past who, until now, had been pretty content with going through life as part of a prolific black market art trafficking ring.

That is, until a simple logistical hiccup leads him straight into the path of one Aziraphale Fell, former Head Conservator of the British Museum turned antique repair shop owner.

Little do they both know, the strands of friendship, morality, and deception in their shared circles of the London art world are interwoven in even more complex ways than either of them could have expected...

such rebel blood by curtaincall @fremulon​

rated T | 60k words

Anthony Crowley needs a break. Six months after being tried for murder, he’s struggling to find a new publisher for his mystery novels—and to conquer his (apparently unrequited) feelings for Lord Aziraphale Eastgate, the man who saved his life.

Spending a few weeks out in the country working on a murder-mystery game for a rich young American’s twenty-first birthday party seems like an easy choice. But when the simulated death becomes all too real, Crowley finds himself caught up in the investigation—and crossing paths once more with someone he feared he’d never see again...

 Part 2 of A Love Story with Detective Interruptions        

No Room at the Inn by summerofspock @summerofspock

rated T | 735 words

A tipsy makeout scene for the prompt Bed Sharing.

tender and mild on main

Anatomy 101 by Fyre @amuseoffyre

rated E | 102k words

Two humans are enjoying some alone time. A demon has questions. An angel has answers.

an owners manual of sorts that developed feelings along the way

 Mark of the Serpent  by NaroMoreau, summerofspock @naromoreau ​ @summerofspock ​

rated E | 150k words

Prince Aziraphale is about to be crowned King of Angelhaven when he's taken captive by pirates. When he's sold as a pleasure slave to King Crowley, ruler of the nation readying for war with his, he is forced to keep his identity a secret as he tries to find a way home and keep peace. But not everything at King Crowley's court is as it seems and Aziraphale will have to face machinations of a Royal Court that are far more complex than he had thought.

A Captive Prince AU with an omegaverse twist.

Unusual Occurrences at A.Z. Fell and Co.'s  by WritesEveryBlueMoon @gwenstacyismyicon

rated T | 1500 words

When the bizzare and amusing habits of Mr A.Z. Fell, bookseller, begin to trend on the internet, those who dwell on various social media sites share their frustrations, confusion, and extraordinarily unusual stories.

An Oddly Mesmerizing Display by ZehWulf @zehwulf

rated E | 29k words

Crowley's a sex-indifferent/favorable asexual omega fresh off suppressants and in the market for someone to help him through what promises to be a trial of a heat. His friend gets him tickets to the Spring Fling Heat Date Auction, where he can win a date with an eligible alpha (or omega). Naturally, a certain alpha with a regrettably memorable stage magic show and intriguing scent catches his eye...

On The Habits Of Vampires And Retired Goths by munchmulch @munchmulch

rated T | 21k words

The thing is about Crowley's new neighbor, the thing is that Crowley is very, very gay.

the best kind of miscommunication. crowley has vampire traits and aziraphale makes some connections. aziraphale has wolfish traits but crowley is blinded by love and willfully ignores them

 A Guide to Fame for the Enterprising Demon by asideofourown @asideofourown

rated T | 8k words

[Crowley accidentally gets a bit famous, and the internet figures out he may be a bit immortal]

 All The Dreams We Had by ImpishTubist @impishtubist

rated T | 6.5k words

This time will be different, Aziraphale thinks. This time, Crowley will remember.

crowley cant remember falliing in love, no matter how many times he does it

do you know what eternity is? by gazing @choreomanic

rated T | 16k words

I'll pretend to propose, Crowley said.

It'll be fine, Crowley said.

It was, Aziraphale decided, not fine.

tender and mild on main. incredibly soft and silly and cute. so many proposals 

Till death do us part (or not) by fractalgeometry @geometricfractal

rated G | 2.5k words

Awkward Tesco reunions: the real curse of immortality

exactly as it says on the tin. hits all the best feels

All That’s Best of Dark and Bright by hope_in_the_dark @hope-inthedark

rated T | 5.5k words

When Crowley drops a bomb on a church, Aziraphale falls in love with him. This should be a secret, but unfortunately, Aziraphale's never been much good at keeping them.

a heartwrencher to be sure, but so sweet and gentle at the same time

Hanging By a Moment by NaroMoreau @naromoreau ​

rated E | 5.5k words

Sometimes the best thing is to leave. Fresh slate and all that. For Crowley, it seems like the only option, having fallen hopelessly in love with his best friend.

crowley convinces himself that this moment with aziraphale that he's always wanted doesnt mean the same thing to both of them. but he's leaving next week so he's going to make sure this experience will be one to remember

Echo by snae_b

rated E | 52k words

This isn’t your average coffee shop AU.

kinda sorta amnesia/time loop but so much deeper! bamf protective devoted crowley

Amazing by nightbloomingcereus @moondawntreader

rated E | 9k words

Aziraphale thinks he's been hired to perform his magic act at a party. It turns out that there's been a slight misunderstanding and everyone thinks he's there for an entirely different sort of show. Good thing the caterer is there to save the day.

Green Groves by NaroMoreau @naromoreau ​

rated E | 16.5k words

Aziraphale Fell isn't entirely happy living in his father's house. But when a new friend enters into his life, his whole world will change in an unexpected way.

Paper Thin Walls by angelsnuffbox @angelsnuffbox

rated E | 16.5k

Sure being in love with your best friend when he also happens to live in the flat next door, where you can hear every single one of his conquests through that shared wall, sounds challenging. But being in love with your best friend when he lives next door and you two used to shag? Might just be a tad more difficult, but Aziraphale muddles through somehow.

Be Ye Therefore Merciful by AmberDiceless

rated T | 9.5k words

Crowley does something utterly unexpected, and Aziraphale must face an opponent who cannot be thwarted. Hints of pre-A/C.

bookverse - crowley is injured by a blessed bullet in a warzone and aziraphale uses his full will (and rules lawyering) to keep him safe.

Any Way You Want It by Justkeeptrekkin @justkeeptrekkin

Saving the world is exhausting work. With Heaven and Hell off their backs, it seems as good a time as any for Crowley and Aziraphale to take a proper break. Neither one of them predicts the direction their holiday takes.

a scotland vacation, some realizations, and confessions to match. tender and mild on main.

Small Cock Appreciation Society by cheerios_and_wine @cheeriosandwine

rated E | 6.5k words

Crowley is the founding member. Aziraphale's is the member.

incredibly sweet and hot. crowley and aziraphale fit so well together

Lift Me Up, O Lord by CopperBeech @copperplatebeech ​

rated E | 37k words

Aziraphale Fell’s maintained a string of weightlifting victories, a strained relationship with his family, and his grandfather’s waistcoat right into his fifties.

Distance runner Anthony Crowley’s spent the last decade watching his racing career recede in the rearview, but it doesn’t stop him running, literally, away from his feelings.

lifter aziraphale, runner crowley, and a bicycle race

Boyfriend Debut by snae_b

rated E | 20k words

It’s fucking on camera. It’s not that complicated.

sex with feelings between porn stars who really hit it off

Pop the Question by tweedfeather @tweedfeather ​

rated T

Crowley plans to pop the question to Aziraphale at their favourite restaurant. Things don't go as planned.

A short, sweet, and silly fan-comic.

Where We Will Love by TawnyOwl95 @tawnyontumblr​

rated E | 17.5k words

Crowley busks in Piccadilly Circus.

Just down the road in Haymarket, Azra Eastgate performs at Her Majesty’s Theatre.

One duet is going to change both their lives.

Trust Me, I'm A Professional by Lurlur @lurlur ​

rated E | 12k words

After a mishap with a client, Crowley finds himself booking in at his local emergency department. His bitchy angel of a nurse takes good care of him, making Crowley regret that he can't really just leave his number.

Perhaps the universe has other plans for his love life?

Many Ways To Say It by Fledglinger @fledglingdoodles ​

rated G

"Listen well, dear ones, for there are many ways to tell him 'I Love You'..."

an incredibly sweet comic

Steamed by summerofspock @summerofspock ​

When Aziraphale's favorite porn star walks into the coffee shop where he works, it completely derails Aziraphale's day.

What happens when the sexy guy you're used to watching fuck people on your computer screen is actually the most awkward man you've ever met?

Heavenly Hands by ZehWulf @zehwulf ​

rated E | 7.5k words

Even girlbosses need a bit of stress relief between gaslighting and gatekeeping, and Crowley is no exception. Good thing she has a standing appointment with an angel from Higher Calling Relaxation. (A porn trope parody fic.)

A Sharper Sweet  by musegnome @musegnome ​

rated E | 5k words

Nothing smells quite the same any more. He bends over the plates anyway, and breathes in deep. Cinnamon and chocolate, fruit and sugar and butter. The scents would have set his mouth watering, before. He reaches out to touch the raspberry sauce drizzled over the cake, and stares at the drop of deep pink puree mounded on his fingertip.

crowley enjoys some sweets for his vampire partner and they both have a rather enjoyable time. a little angst at the start

Pavlov's Backroom by justheidi @scienceismygirlfriend

rated M | 444 words

"A word with you, angel. In private."

A conversation in the backroom of the bookshop.

Trying it On by snae_b

rated E | 6k words

Anthony Crowley. Stylist to an elite tier of the UK’s hottest stars. And now, apparently, to one dowdy, soft around the middle, recently divorced publishing heir.

Intermezzo by FeralTuxedo @feraltuxedo​

rated E | 47k words

Music critic Aziraphale Fell is trying to break into the world of television, when he is signed to make a documentary about former-rockstar-turned-composer Anthony Crowley. It’s been eleven years since Aziraphale’s disastrous review of Crowley’s debut opera nipped his classical music career in the bud. He can only hope that Crowley will get over his admittedly justified grudge to make the TV show a success.

  A classical music sex comedy. Yes, really.

Coq au Vin by Ginger_Cat @gingiekittycat​

rated E | 13k words

Tonight’s the night. He can feel it in his bones, in his wings, in his demonic soul. It’s going to happen—months of showering the angel with flowers and chocolates and perfect picnic lunches and walks thorough the farmers’ market, romantic row-boat rides on the lake and concerts in the park and dinner at the Ritz and everything in-bloody-between, are all culminating in this one night.

Because Crowley is making Aziraphale dinner, and Crowley is going to kiss him.

When the Sun Goes Down by TawnyOwl95 @tawnyontumblr

rated E | 16k words

Mr Anthony J. Crawleigh, disgraced heir to the Helton Abbey Estate, has been summoned home to attend his sister's engagement party.

It's only four days of shooting, dancing and making nice with nobs. He's survived much, much worse.

If only Mama hadn't arranged for such a handsome young man to undress him every night. Practically asking for trouble, that is.

Everything I've Had by AppleSeeds

rated M | 13k words

After developing a chronic illness that leaves him unable to live alone, Crowley moves back home to London where he reunites with his childhood best friend Aziraphale. Aziraphale helps to take care of Crowley and keeps him company while he's in bed, bringing them closer together and reigniting old feelings.

for the first time by summerofspock @summerofspock​

rated E | 3k words

It’s been six months since they’ve seen each other any way besides over FaceTime and Aziraphale is desperate for the sound of Crowley’s voice without the filter of the tinny speakers of his iPhone, for the smell of the crook of his neck, for the way his body fills the space beside him. He knows Crowley will be here soon and yet his heart hardly believes it is real.

Rivers Of Gold by entanglednow @entanglednow​

rated E | 7k words

Crowley is commissioned to sculpt an angel for a family chapel, but the more he uncovers from the marble the less willing he is to give it up.

amaretto by goosewriting @goosetooths​

rated E | 69k words

Aziraphale, a human, has grown used to being alone.

Everything changes for him when a unique occult relic falls into his hands and loops him into a contract with a mild-mannered (if a bit snarky) demon named Crowley.

[shipperqueen6]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @spotsandsocks

How many works do you have on ao3?

3, I have way more unpublished

What's your total ao3 word count?

15,988

What fandoms do you write for?

Currently: Grey's Anatomy, Fire Country, The Resident, Station 19 and Roswell New Mexico

Top five fics by kudos:

I only have three so here goes nothing:

Don't Blame Me

Your Heart is Safe With Me

Listen to Your Heart

Do you respond to comments?

Yes, whenever I get them 😄

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

None of them really but since I haven't updated it in awhile let's go with listen to your heart

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them?! I only write happy endings.

Do you get hate on fics?

I don't think so.

Do you write smut?

Yes, don't know if I'm that good at it.

Craziest crossover:

Definitely my Walker/Code Black/Roswell New Mexico FF. All my other crossovers are in universe.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I am aware of.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope.

All time favourite ship?

It's a tie between Buddie and Polin

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Probably one my old Mestiny (oltl) ff's or one of my RPF/crossovers. (No celebrities just ppl I know)

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue I think, idk what else

What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably action sequences and maybe smut , idk

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

If it makes sense for the story I'm all for it.

First fandom you wrote in?

Zoey 101, eons ago.

Favourite fic you've written?

I'm gonna sort this into categories:

WIP: for sure it would have to be (I don't wanna be) one of your girls

Unpublished: Let Me Be the One

Published: don't blame me , I think

NP tagging: @dr-lizortecho @kitweewoos @aromanticbuck @honestlydarkprincess @hippolotamus @monsterrae1 @loserdiaz @ksbbb @impalachick @tabbytabbytabby and anyone else who wants to 🩵💙

[omegaverse-guide]

Basic Omegaverse Tropes

This is intended to be a guide for common tropes associated with the omegaverse. If you don't know what that is, check out Omegaverse 101 first.

None of these tropes are necessary to classify a story as omegaverse, but they're ones you'll have definitely seen if you read omegaverse. If you don't like a particular one, don't read or write any stories that contain that trope, there are enough others.

I'll just give brief overviews here, but I plan on going into detail for each of them later (let me know if there's a specific one you'd like me to tackle first, or something I missed)!

Animal Hybrids

As a trope closely associated with werewolves, it's no wonder omegaverse characters can often be part wolf. But if some other animal fits your particular blorbo better, why not go with that? All animals have the drive for sex, after all. Whether these hybrids just have ears and tails/other defining features like wings, are almost entirely animal, or can shift freely is up to the author. Regular humans may or may not exist alongside these hybrids, and they may or may not have a/b/o dynamics if they exist.

Bitching

The process of turning an alpha into an omega. May be done through hormone treatments, but is generally done through having lots of sex with the bitched alpha as the bottom/submissive. Bitched alphas may or may not be able to bear children, but they generally do experience heats and can be mated. Consent is typically not required for the process, nor can it be reversed.

Commands

Generally, only alphas are able to issue commands over omegas. These commands are spoken with a growl or the emmission of a scent, in a way that makes omegas unable to resist the command, even if they consciously want to. This trope tends to be associated with dubcon/noncon, even if only for the main alpha to free the main omega from the bad alpha's commands.

Inner Alpha/Omega

While almost all omegaverse deals with the instincts that come with being an alpha or omega, some take it a step further, by giving these instincts a distinct voice. That inner alpha/omega will urge the POV character to give into their urges. Primarily the sexual ones, but not exclusively. Inner omegas may seek safety from an alpha, while inner alphas may insist on doing something to provide for the omega, and they'll preen if the (desired) mate is pleased. Especially characters who are in denial of their feelings will argue a bunch with these inner voices.

Mating/Mating Bites

A mating bond is formed between two people, usually by an alpha biting the mating gland of an omega, which is located somewhere around the neck/shoulder. Sometimes only alphas and omegas can mate bond, sometimes anyone can. That bond attunes the mates to one another, and often makes especially omegas no longer smell attractive to people they aren't bonded to. The bond can go as deep as being able to read each other's minds, or be as shallow as nothing but a visible, unfading mark on the neck. In some fics, the bond can be broken - through hormone treatments, prolonged physical distance, another mating bite placed over it, or death. In other fics, it's forever. For a bite to be permanent, typically a rut/heat is required, sometimes a knot as well.

Mpreg

Men get pregnant. Specifically, male omegas. This is generally seen as normal. Depending on the anatomy, it might be more difficult for them to give birth than it is for women, or it might not be. Most omegas come with the innate breeding kink to make this happen, as do the alphas they mate with.

Nesting

Typically done by omegas, especially during heat. They just build a nest to be comfortable and safe. Generally it consists of pillows and blankets or whatever they usually sleep in, scented by their mates or other people they trust. They may get upset if they can't build a nest, or if someone they don't approve of enters their nest.

Packs/Pack Bonding

A pack can be anything ranging from a poly relationship to a family, with harem and friend group also somewhere in there. Just a group of people who are important to each other, and formed attachments, usually through bites or scenting, or both. However, there is usually sex involved. How much depends on the vibe the author is going for, and also how many of the pack members are children. If adult pack members have kids, those kids usually are immediately part of the pack and may be parented by all pack members, though they may leave upon reaching maturity.

Presenting

This can be confusing because it means two separate things.

At some point in their life children (often called pups before this point) will present as either alpha, beta, or omega. This usually comes with their first rut/heat, and happens around puberty age. Or later, if the author is uncomfortable with pushing all this sex stuff on a 13 year old. There really is no upper limit, if you want your guy to surprise-present as an omega in their 40s, that can still happen. Sometimes betas have no noticable presentation and it is simply assumed you're a beta if you don't present as alpha or omega by a certain age, other times their scent changes to tell them apart from pups.

Presenting during sex means, to put it bluntly, to put your hole on display for your partner. Typically done by an omega to show submission and inviting an alpha to rail them doggy style.

Scents/Scenting

People in the omegaverse - sometimes with the exception of betas - have very good noses. Each person tends to have their own personal scent that is unique to them, though omegas tend to have sweet ones, betas neutral ones (or none), and alphas something more on the musky side. By their scent, people are able to tell whether a person is an alpha, beta, or omega, whether they're in heat/rut, and what mood they're in. Sometimes people can control (to a degree) how much of their scent they emit, or do it on purpose, for example to soothe their mate. But a lot of the time it's subconscious, and especially during heat/rut can't be controlled. Scents can be hidden through scent patches on scent glands, or by taking scent suppressants. Scenting simply means to cover someone else in your scent, usually a mate, though it can be done platonically, usually between packmates or family members.

Soul Bonds

The omegaverse version of a soulmate AU. People can be fated mates, and they're able to tell by their scents, being immediately drawn to each other. Sometimes only fated mates can bond, or their bonds are deeper than regular bonds.

[amuseoffyre]

After all my Metatron-Wizard-of-Oz meta, I was rereading Anatomy 101, my massive GO fic that I finished 2 years ago.

Kind of gratifying to know I'm picking up the cues right:

And Aziraphale knew. Of course he did. He had known all along, but tried to pretend he didn’t. That was the Heavenly way, wasn’t it? Just ignore the man behind the curtain. Just pretend that they didn’t have information only known by agents of Hell. Just ignore the fact there were clearly lines of communication despite being “the other side.” No, no, they’re the enemy, can’t possibly speak to them. That would be terrible and awful and bad. Except, now that you mention it, we do need to coordinate our war to end all wars.