#and 3-literally take over the elder brain

[arkhavens2]

im having a lot of fun with my current durge playthrough that im affectionately calling "how evil can i be while keeping as many companions for as long as possible?" and the answer is: 1-none of my party members have left even in act 3, AND! i recruited jaheira even after murdering isobel—and thus, all of last light inn—in cold blood:D

this is the face of a maniac(affectionate)

[squidinkedcreative]

aaaaaaa brain is putting things together about izzy and i just :( damn

also going to say this now that if ur an izzy hater, this post isnt for u! pls dont engage :) thank u

saw art with a quote from a post about izzy, talking about how some people find it touching that he’s buried in the yard of the inn, but this person didn’t. it made them feel sick because he’s buried there like a dog. and just first of all yeah. at first it was touching to me bc of that sentiment that they’re keeping him near them, even in death, but the more i thought on it the more my stomach also churned.

i know djenks had the best intentions with how izzy’s character and arc were treated but jfc ya missed the mark. by a wide margin. like hello???? having the entire point of his arc in season two be discovering himself and growing into himself, hell even standing up for himself and letting himself hold on a little looser to his baggage and just put down the baggage he chose to carry on behalf of the man he loved only for him to die like an episode or two later. and the crew acts like nothing happened just. it doesnt sit right with me and it hasnt since the first time i saw it.

i know its for “plot” reasons, but there was no other way to convey any of this than maiming him like the family dog nobody actually likes??? like a grimy mutt?? without him LITERALLY DYING????????????????? AT THE VERY END OF THE SEASON??????? AND NOT EVEN HAVE THAT BE THE MAIN MESSAGE FOR THE REST OF THE EPISODE??? you had to stomp all over his dead body with a fucking wedding. yes yes good for lucius and pete i really do love them and i am happy for them, but its like they all just. moved on. and forgot about izzy. and trust me i am FULLY aware of how complex grief is, but still. it stings. it feels like its watering down the impact izzy had on everyone on the crew.

he and the kraken’s crew grew so close that they tried to keep him alive even tho they all knew if the kraken found out, they’d all be paying with blood. they MADE HIM. A PROSTHETIC. AND PAINTED IT. they cheered him on when he came out in drag and sang in fucking FRENCH!!!!!!! and then he dies and like 3 minutes later theres a wedding and another party. it feels tasteless. it feels demeaning.

and i 100% think djenks roped izzy and ed into the Bury Your Gays trope without thinking that through. elder queer man who is traumatized dozens of times over who just fucking came to terms with himself AND WHO JUST CONFESSED HIS LOVE TO EDWARD!!!! dies. shortly after that, timeline wise. thats the fucking trope. it’s literally right there.

AND THEN. they fucking bury him in the YARD. LIKE A DOG. in the far corner where they wont see it and be reminded of him every day. out of sight out of mind. they’ll move on and grow old together, blissfully happy, while izzy’s bones are the only thing left of the man who once was Israel Hands, First Mate to the legendary Blackbeard. he never got to have his mutual pining moment, he never got to find the true love of his life and grow old with them. he doesnt get to die fulfilled, with labored breaths, as old age takes him. he gets to sit and watch from the corner as ed and stede, his ex of sorts and the guy he replaced him with, live that happily ever after. he gets to sit in the corner like a bad dog and watch as these two get everything he ever wanted. just like the unwanted family pet.

it makes me ill. he deserved so much better. he deserves better than doggy heaven, he deserves better than being roped into the fucking Bury Your Gays trope too.

[lizz-crimson]

So No Head? (Shinnok's Head X Reader Part 3)

We back!

Summary: Shinnok spirals as he realizes he actually does things for you, even when you don't ask.

Tags/Warnings: Cursing, knife wound, Deliberate decapitation, Shinnok spiraling, Netflix, grocery shopping, Two Johnny Cages oh god, goofiness, Shinnok eats a lot, gender neutral pronouns (please let me know if there's any mistakes!)

Words: 2149

Part 1 Part 2

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It was an odd thing. To see a once powerful Elder God scarf down so much food. Apparently, losing a chunk of his power had made Shinnok's apatite skyrocket. As he savored every bite of cheap, frozen eggrolls, you hoped he didn't mind they'd come from the main back of your freezer. He'd eaten you out of house and home, and it had only been a couple days since he regained his body.

As you finished up your own meal, you asked," You get enough to eat?"

Shinnok, with a mouth full of eggroll, nodded. You nodded in turn, sitting back in your chair with a sigh. Your fridge was empty, as were your cabinets. All except for a small container of cinnamon, which Shinnok practically hissed at once he tried some.

Besides the food, Shinnok had behaved okay. He slept on the couch, quite a bit more entertained now that he could scroll through Netflix himself. You two argued over what to watch now and again, but you both ultimately settled on animal documentaries each time. It was hard to find the fallen Elder God intimidating when he was so enthralled in lion pride dynamics.

"Y/n, what are you making for dinner?" Shinnok asked.

You huffed, sitting up. Shinnok's bottomless stomach was slowly killing you. And considering he ate a whole cake, it was probably doing the same to him.

"Water soup," you replied curtly. Shinnok raised a finger, about to ask, but you cut him off with your hand. "You've eaten everything. There is no more food."

"Lies. I know you must have something."

"I don't."

"Then what will I eat?"

"We. And nothing." You push yourself up and out of your chair and start doing the dishes, taking Shinnok's empty plate. Shinnok sputtered as if your lack of food was a malicious joke. You again raise your hand, splashing him with a bit of soapy water. "There is no more food. I'll buy more tomorrow."

Shinnok groaned. He used to be all powerful, feared, and worshiped. Now he had to conform to a mortal's schedule. "Fine, I will accompany you," he huffed. If he was made to wait for his meals, then he'd at least get to pick what he wanted.

"Yeah, that's a hard no," you said.

"What? Why?" Shinnok asked, his voice daring to grow angry when he looked like a hellish priest.

"No offense, Shinnok, but not even Wal-Mart would let you inside the building," you replied, now drying the dishes. "I'll go by myself. I'm sure I'll be back with something you'll like." He'd eaten everything else; no doubt he'd eat whatever she'd bring home.

Shinnok pushed himself up from his chair, his hands going behind his back. "Bah.." he grunted, then sat on the couch. You rolled your eyes and started putting the dishes away. He was a whiny sonofabitch. Still, you two tolerated each other.

Shinnok wasn't accustomed to all this, and even with his body back, he couldn't help but feel frustrated. Damned Quan-Chi for taking his throne like that. He ought to just kill him himself. Even so, as he looked your way, he stared. You'd become so… normal to him. Even though you went against literally everything he originally stood for. He didn't mind waking up to the loud music you played while you took your morning shower. He didn't mind watching the apartment while you were at work. He didn't mind 'earning his keep' by doing chores. He'd become some kind of well-treated servant. Some butler. Some… what was that one anime called?

He quickly scrolled through the shows he'd watched on Netflix, and the anime he was thinking of came into view. Ah, yes, househusband; that was the word.

As the anime played automatically, Shinnok's brain seemed to let the word sink in. Particularly the husband bit. He glued his gaze to the TV, praying to himself that the warmth on his face was from embarrassment and nothing more. Maybe talking to you had damaged his brain, as he thought would happen originally.

Suddenly, your body landed beside his. "Is that 'The Way of The Househusband?' Move it; I wanna watch!" you said, nudging Shinnok aside with your hip. The fallen Elder God sputtered and nearly jumped to the opposite end of the couch.

"Don't just-!" He was cut off by a Coke being shoved into his hands.

"Found one for you," you said, your eyes on the TV.

Shinnok's nose curled. He snapped his head back to the TV, about to open the can, but paused.

"You didn't shake this, did you?" he asked.

"I might have."

The next morning, you were at the grocery store as promised, list in hand and mailbag on your shoulder. You'd started using it as a plain old purse after Shinnok got his body back. Since he was no longer a head, you figured it could be of better use that way.

Which is probably why you didn't notice the familiar weight in the bag.

"[Y/n], are we at the store yet?"

"Oh my god!" you yelped. You frantically open the bag and see Shinnok's re-decapitated head looking back at you. "I-what-are you serious?!"

"Shhh!" Shinnok shushed you. "Someone could hear!"

You were appalled. Quickly, you covered Shinnok up and dashed into the bathrooms. You're quick to lock a toilet stall behind you.

"What the fuck?" you ask, pulling Shinnok out of your bag. He looked just like he did before he got his body back.

"What?" Shinnok asked, not understanding your confusion.

"Where's your body?" you asked through gritted teeth, prying anybody else in the bathroom just thought you were high or something.

"Back at the apartment," he replied similarly.

"What the fuck do you mean 'back at the apartment'?" you laugh out of shock.

Meanwhile, a beheaded Shinnok lay limp on your couch, covered completely by a blanket. You just thought he'd been sleeping..

Shuttering at the thought, you placed Shinnok back in your bag.

"Let's just… Lets just get this over with…"

During your shopping, Shinnok bombarded you with many questions about all the different foodstuffs he spotted while peeking out of the mailbag. Luckily, it was early, so there weren't many people in the store yet. You tried to make the shopping trip go by as quickly as possible, and any time you spoke to Shinnok, you put your finger to your ear as if speaking via Bluetooth call.

You groaned as you looked at the prices of all the fresh produce. Prices had gone up lately, and you had no interest in paying five dollars for a head of lettuce. You pushed your cart on by.

"I thought vegetables were important for you humans?" Shinnok said, raising a brow.

"They are, but the price is awful, so we'll wait for a sale," you said. "I oughta just grow my own at this point."

"Why don't you?"

You sigh. "We don't live in the countryside, Shinnok. Don't you know how much space you need to make a garden?"

"Then move there?"

You caught the attention of a few staff members of the store when you straight-up belly laughed. You were quick to shut up and push your cart along. You lowered your head, whispering.

"Believe me, if I had the option to, I'd be deep in the Appalachian Mountains by now. I'd rather deal with cryptids than New York as a whole."

You spent the rest of the shopping trip explaining what cryptids were to Shinnok.

Later, you're carrying two mountains of groceries to your apartment door. When you finally unlock the door and push it open with your forehead, you were frozen in place as Shinnok's body hung limply off the couch. The blanket that had been concealing him had fallen to the floor. You close the door behind you quickly, making sure nobody sees. You fling your bag onto the couch, with Shinnok groaning in displeasure as he rolls out.

"I assume you can attach yourself back, right?" you asked, hands on your hips.

"Yes, yes.." Shinnok rolled his eyes. "Come. I'll need your aid."

You nodded and picked Shinnok's head up. "Now what?"

"Just hover my head over the stump of my body, and I'll reattach," he instructed.

Lowering yourself to your knees, you set Shinnok's body up a bit, then hover his head over the stump of his neck. At least he hadn't bled all over your floor..

A red glow appeared between Shinnok's two body parts and began to swirl around, engulfing both his head and his neck stump. You closed your eyes when the light blinded you. When it died down,… Well, when it died down, you were still holding Shinnok's face, attached to his body once more.

The two of you kind of just.. looked at each other for a bit. Shinnok, feeling a rather uncomfortable sensation in his chest, broke the silence when he couldn't take it anymore.

"You can let go now."

"Right, sorry!" You snatched your hands away. Shinnok stands along with you. Both of you kept your heads turned away, as you do. Luckily, your gaze fell to the mountains of groceries, and you used that to transition away from this awkward situation. "Come on, let's put these away," you said.

Shinnok grunted curtly and began helping you put all the food away.

Shinnok couldn't help but look back at you, sneaking glances. You had been good to him. Something he didn't deserve in the slightest. And as he put the spices in the order you told him to, arranged the frozen foods in the freezer, and helped you cut up pork for dinner,… he couldn't help but feel like he wasn't doing enough.

He hated that feeling. Why? Why did he want to do something for you, his jailer? Why had he still been teaching you dark magic? Why had he not returned to the Neatherrealm and overthrown Quan Chi? Why did he want to sit next to you on the couch? Why does his fucking chest hurt?

"OW!"

"Shinnok?" Your head snapped in his direction. He'd been cleaning the dishes. It was odd, as you hadn't even asked that time. The bit of blood on his palm and the kitchen knife on the floor alerted you, and you went over to him.

"I'm fine," Shinnok said. He was about to put his hand away, but your own hand took it before he could. He froze.

"Always do knives by themselves when doing dishes, okay?" you said, taking a mini-med kit from the counter and dressing his wound.

There it was—that sensation in his chest again. You bandaged his hand so skillfully. You'd done this before, clearly. Likely to yourself. Stupid mortal. Stupid mortal, with your gentle hands and good food. Wretched mortal for the kindness. Abhorrent mortal for the.. the.. well, everything!

"…Right," he replied.

That night, Shinnok lay on the couch. You'd long been asleep. You had work tomorrow, after all. Shinnok already agreed to vacuum the apartment while you were gone.

Damn it all. He wasn't helping himself by doing all these things for you. He felt like it wasn't enough, which he hated.

After another hour of spiraling down a tunnel of why, how, when, and curse words, he came to the decision that he would need to do something else for you. Something other than doing dishes or helping cook. He needed something big, something that would sate his desire to just do things for you.

You'd left your phone on the kitchen counter. Shinnok had a pretty good idea of how to use it. It turns out Netflix can teach an old god new tricks. Now… where was he?

Chats: Two Johnny's, One [Y/n]

[Y/N]: Johnny Cage.

Annoying Johnny: Yo, [Y/n]! Dude, you will not believe the hottie I have in my bed right now! Wanna pic?

[Y/N]: This is Shinnok. I have no interest in your hottie. I need something that requires your wealth.

Old Man Johnny: Woah, what? What the hell are you doing with [Y/N]'s phone?

[Y/n]: Why are there two of you?

Old Man Johnny: Long story now what the hell do you want?

Annoying Johnny: Chill out, old me! Clearly Shinnok saw my new movie on Netflix and wants in on the next one!

[Y/n]: No. That film was horrendous. I demand you both listen to my words!

Shinnok growled at the phone screen. Two Johnny Cages… What was his mother thinking?

He jolted when the phone began to buzz in his hand. He quickly tapped the green symbol and put the phone near his ear, like he'd seen in the movies.

Johnny Cage, the older one, spoke.

"What the hell are you planning?"

"Something for [Y/n]."

There was a pause on the other line.

"For [Y/n]?" Johnny asked.

"Yes. For them," Shinnok replied.

Johnny rubbed his temples.

"Okay. Hit me."

---

Shinnok: ew feelings *barf emoji*

Heyo, hoped you liked this part! I plan on one more part to this so stay tuned! Also this story is now on my AO3 account! The link is on my pinned post! This part will be added there soon!

These vine reference titles are getting outta head *bu-dum-tis*

[tavyliasin]

BG3 FicFeb NSFW - Day 3

I'll be honest with you darlings I had every intention of making this one spicy but then feelings happened? Still, it was fun to write, and an interesting scenario I might re-use at a later date. Shortfic below the cut (still NSFW) with some CW/Tags for angst, hurt/comfort, scars, wounds, mention of character trauma, but I promise it is mostly on the fluffy comforting side~

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Day 3 - Body Worship

It had been far too long since Tav had found an opportunity to bathe properly. Not just scrubbing off with a damp cloth, or dunking into a freezing lake, a proper warm bath. Of course, taking advantage of having access to a brothel’s finer rooms whilst investigating a disappearance was something she took very seriously. She had to be completely certain she wouldn’t miss a vital clue amongst the perfumed soaps and soft towels. Who knew when the last piece of information they needed might be at the bottom of a wine bottle, or lurking in the bowl of fresh fruit…

“Well, that is certainly better than a murky pond.” Astarion echoed her thoughts as he sank into the water beside her. “Gods that feels good.” 

“We should take up the role of investigators more often.” Tav chuckled, reaching for the silver bowl that held a fresh sponge and some soaps. “Here, let me, for once.” 

“You don’t need to-”

“I want to.” She left little room for further complaint, taking his hand in her own and delicately sponging away the dirt that seemed to cling to his nails.

“I am not about to break, you know.” He watched her with an eyebrow raised as she continued to be far more gentle than he felt he deserved. 

“I know.” If anything, Tav slowed slightly, taking a moment to caress his fingers reverently. “But the world has been rough enough with you lately. Is there anything wrong with a little tenderness instead?” 

“Yes- No. Maybe.” He wasn’t even sure what he was trying to say as she brought his hand to her lips and kissed each fingertip in turn. “You…Well…” He sighed, giving in to her care instead for now.

“Relax, Astarion, please.” She trailed a line of kisses up his forearm to his elbow, her fingers gently brushing the faint lines of decades old scars and far fresher bruises marking his pale form. “You know, you really are beautiful.” 

“I know.” He replied, out of reflex. “Sorry, old habits… I suppose truly I have no idea if I am or not, other than the parts of myself I can see clearly. Even the water doesn’t hold my reflection any more.”

“Then let me be your mirror.” She smiled, brushing a stray lock of hair that threatened to fall forwards into his eye. “Now, where was I?” 

Tav began to wash his other hand and arm, with the same reverence she had used before, but this time giving voice to the thoughts that floated through her mind as she did. 

“Here, your fingers. I could comment on how skilled they are, how you can make me feel, but what I admire most is how they always find a solution. You’ve picked locks, disarmed traps-”

“You can do that just as well as I, my love.” He protested, though just as quickly his arguments met their rebuttal.

“Maybe, but you were the one who unlocked my heart.” Tav laughed at the absurdity of her own statement. “It’s cheesier than an entire dairy, I know, but it’s true. I spent my whole life just going from one fling to the next, living each day like it might be my last. Living like that…well you just don’t think of a future. Or who you might spend it with. It was better to just enjoy what I could when I could. Besides, attachments could be exploited.”

“And you see a future now? With tadpoles in our brains, and the threat of an actual mindflayer Elder Brain looming quite literally over our heads?” Despite his words, his expression was soft in the low light of the room.

“I see one worth fighting for.” She leaned forwards and stole a kiss, but only for a moment, pulling back to leave him wanting more.

“Such a tease, my love.” 

“I learned from the best~” She put on the hint of a flirtatious tone to match his voice. “Anyway… Here. This part next.”

“A scar, darling? Really?” He almost pulled his arm back, like her touch burned the mark deeper into his skin.

“This was not long after we met. I remember worrying that you might lose too much blood if the wound were just a fraction to the left.” Tav dipped the sponge in the warm bathwater again and carefully cleaned the area, rinsing off the soap when she was done. “But that’s not what I think most when I look at it, or any of the other marks that battle has left upon you.”

“Enlighten me, what is it that you see in such a blemish?” Astarion frowned, struggling to see what she meant.

“Endurance. A fight that didn’t end you. A strength that goes beyond what you can lift in your arms.” She sat back a moment, the myriad of scars across her own body clearer to see as she gestured to them. “Something we share, our will to live, and to be more than the world tried to make of us.” 

“Well…I suppose…” He sighed, looking closer at Tav’s form now. Subtle muscles and soft curves, the map of old wounds telling as many stories as his own, and not one of them diminished her beauty in his eyes. “There is some charm to them, maybe.”

She continued to cleanse the sweat and marks of the long days from his body with tender care, her praise like a balm to the bruises on his soul. She almost paused when it was time to move around to his back. “Is it alright if I…?”

“There is nobody I trust more to resist the urge to put a dagger between my ribs.” He mimicked the motion playfully with empty hands as he spoke. “Oh no need to be so serious, my darling, the point is that I trust you. Completely.” 

The vampire shifted, turning his back to her. The view was always a painful one - he was free, but the marks remained, the knowledge of the pain in their making broke her heart if she let those thoughts back in. “Even this,” she began carefully, “has never once diminished your worth.”

Tension rose in his shoulders, even as she tried to massage it away. “A poem of subjugation is all that is, a beautiful lie that promised power.”

“And yet you are more powerful than ever, you didn’t let the lie consume you. How about this instead.” She put the sponge aside, and began carefully tracing her own pattern across his back as if overwriting the scars his past had left. “I’ll write my own verse for you, let it erase the old one.”

“What is it exactly that you’re writing?” A hint of worry tinted the curiosity in his voice as it dropped a little quieter than it had been before. 

She leaned forward and whispered close in his ear. “My wedding vows.”

[shadowcatzone]

okay so we've talked about bio!xingyue child before. You have to imagine this:

Imagine Dan feng and Yingxing hovering (figuratively) around the egg. "It could hatch any minute now!" They'll say. They've been saying that for weeks. Ever since the egg came into existence. They're not letting anyone into the house anymore (a small house they bought close to Dan fengs estate (would you trust the preceptors with an egg??)) And absolutely 0 work is getting done. Unlike in the beginning, they now stare at the egg all day (figuratively), what can you do.

Then one day the egg cracks. More and more. Until a piece of eggshell falls out. You know the old men are losing their minds at this point. From within the egg, they can hear a mix between chirping and crying. They help the child out of the egg. It's a newborn! With vidyadhara ears and a short tail (about as long as a newborn baby -short) and tiny tiny nubs on their head. Their eyes are closed still. A bath and a clothing session later, the child is lying in a wicker basket, Yingxing in the kitchen, Dan feng watching over their kid.

He pokes their cheek after yingxing brought tea for the two. The baby is not amused. Though their tiny hand wraps around Dan fengs finger and something changes. A strange feeling the high elder never had before. Yingxing needs to do a double take as the first tear rolls off Dan fengs cheek, it crystallizes before dropping on the tiny blanket. "Love, is everything alright??" "No... they're so beautiful... i'm- i can't..." there's now exactly one(1) thing the high elder loves more than Yingxing. Yingxing doesn't mind, and moves over to- maybe console his husband??

They spent three days in complete seclusion. So much so that the remaining hcq wonders if they "left" (nonono, not on this post, haha) before eventually returning to (semi-)normal life with a nonchalant "oh, yeah, by the way, the baby hatched three days ago." "WDYM THREE DAYS AGO!??" auntie baiheng is the most disappointed that they didn't tell her immediately. But they're all very pleased to find out that the baby has heterochromatic eyes and therefore both of their parents eye colors.

Dan feng is literally the worse parent because it's his child (only secondary yingxings) and he will spoil them way too much. "I'm their parent too, and i think you should-" "excuse me, did you lay the egg??" Usually the end of all arguments from that point onward. ("You can't always work-" "did you lay an egg?" "WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING??" "DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT?)

Ahem.

They do feed them every 4-6 hours, but their child isn't particularly vocal about food (unless they wait the full 6 hours, which is when the baby starts babbling (upsetly) but not crying or screaming just yet.

Dan feng loves this child so much. Until it gets disgusting. They were already chewing on his fingers (without teeth) whenever they could. One time they gripped into the tip of Dan fengs tail and- well, Yingxing had to not only console a very upset toddler, but also a very upset high elder. They did rip out a chunk of hair(fur? Feather?) From his tail as their prize. But as soon as they start crawling, they put everything into their mouth.

Truly terrible times come upon them when their child's horns break through, closely followed by their teeth. There is no sleep on the luofu. Never has been, never will be, ever again. This is when they decide to care for the baby in shifts. But they still love their child, of course. They just wish it was not in pain and maybe a little bit quieter.

_____

1.i love that we all simultaneously agree that dan feng can't cook. He's the high elder, what use is cooking to him (hahahahahah)

2.sometimes you find something so beautiful that your brain just. Melts for a minute. Specifically when babies are involved-

3.this was only supposed to be the reaction of dan feng upon interacting with his child for the first time. Consider the rest bonus material.

[bg3-stole-my-soul]

TavTash Tag Game

I was tagged by my beloved bestie @randomfanner to participate in @bearhugsandshrugs and @crystal-overdrive Tavtash game!!

1. Tell us a bit about your Tav!

I have many, but out of them all only 1 is shipped with Gortash, and that is Kieran. Unfortunately I have no pictures of her yet as I haven’t made her in game 🥲

She’s a Zariel Tiefling with a very warm orangey-brown skin tone and a deep scar on her cheek. She’s got pretty horns that she is actually proud of. She has orange-gold eyes. She has long auburn locs. Body type wise she’s built like a brick shithouse and is very androgynous looking (in full armor she’s often mistaken for a man) , but she doesn’t mind this fact.

2. What alignment is your Tav? How does that align or clash with Gortash? Do they agree with him morally?

Kier is Lawful-Neutral good, which leads to a lot of conflict with Gortash. The two often disagree, which does sadden her for multiple reasons. Kieran is usually really easygoing and Gortash is very much not—

3. What God does your Tav follow? Is Gortash's position as Bane's chosen an issue?

Hahahahaha Gortash being Bane’s Chosen is a MASSIVE issue for Kieran because she is a paladin/cleric of Lathander. When she saw him during the cutscene underneath Moonrise girl was genuinely tempted to throw her mace at his skull because “THIS FUCKING MORON BECAME A B A N I T E”

She does make it a personal goal to try and help him renounce Bane and become less of a tyrannical asshat—

4. What did your Tav think of Gortash when they first met? Did they take his offer of an alliance?

Well— the first time they met was actually pregame when they were children. Kieran was the young “apprentice” of the local glassmakers (she was given to them by her parents who did not think they could care for her), and lived not far from Gortash’s family. When she first met him she thought he was a scrawny little dork who was bound to get his ass handed to him in any scraps he got into— so she declared herself his bodyguard and friend. He wasn’t very keen on this big, smiley, weirdo.. but he got used to it. Then one day she disappeared— turns out Raphael impulse buys “useful” children often. So once Gortash was taken to the House of Hope they were reunited and he once again had his protector.. just in a much worse situation. They eventually worked to escape together, but were separated.

When meeting at the coronation she’s… not happy. Like she’s obviously happy to know he’s alive as that was a worry she carried with her for years, but learning he was the Chosen of Bane and trying to take over the world with an Elder Brain? Ya no she very much wishes to BONK him on the head and ask why he thought this was a good idea. She accepts the alliance with a few extra conditions (like having him work to help fix Karlach’s engine because she’s very upset about that) hoping to rekindle their friendship and tell Bane to go fuck himself.

5. How did Gortash and your Tav get together? What do they see in each other?

During the actual story of BG3 the pair have a lot of complex feelings about one another and argue often, but deep down the two could never fully hate one another. They literally survived the Hells together— so lots of tension, lingering glances, and thoughts about what could’ve/should’ve been.

Post Game I think is where the two could finally truly open up to one another. It would take a bit of time, but Kieran would be placed as Gortash’s “handler” while the two work to rebuild the city— and they can fall back into their long ago pattern of working together. Because when not fighting they can work together well, they balance the other out. Very Good Cop/Bad Cop dynamic at times.

As for what they see in one another-

Kieran’s always admired Gortash’s mind. His creativity and ingenuity have always astounded her. As children she often asked questions about his tinkering and encouraged it. She also has (almost) always found his wit funny, even when it got the two of them into trouble.

Gortash on the other hand has (almost) always liked Kieran’s strength, both inside and out Kieran’s never allowed herself to buckle. He admires her perseverance even in times when he would’ve stopped. He also likes that despite his very methodical nature, Kieran’s easygoing and adaptable to almost any situation.

6. What does the future hold for your Tav and Gortash? Are they in a relationship, a one time thing, are they going to rule the sword coast together or kill each other in a tragic showdown?

Realistically? Tragic showdown that would tear Kieran to pieces. Idealistically and because it’s my brainchild? They get together after working together to help rebuild the city (and symbolically their relationship). As for kids I haven’t put a lot of thought into it yet, but they would at least have 2.

Unfortunately I do not have anyone else to tag- but if you wish to participate, please do!!

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

thank you for your time Jamie :3

hi i really appreciate these posts [1, 2] and your tags.

i’ve been stuck in baby bat limbo for about a decade now (oof) [born in the early 2000s introduced to alt subcultures in 2010, tried to be more authentically me as the years went on, took stock and solidified my values in 2013 [redacted hell world] and now we are here!]

i feel like the lack of community is why i can’t ‘grow up’ to bat kid. when i tried to find other like me— sorry dollskill hauling influencers i didn’t count you but i was looking for a more of a community feel versus social media mutuals

i was expose to a). ‘vampire elders’ who teach and recreate spaces for all the culture that us poor zoomers missed out on— but suspiciously only wants to take young girls under his wing, something about auras. [35+ y/o men who want a harem of succubi] or b). 28+ y/o men that have the whole ‘nu-metalhead’ thing going on [not as in ‘nu-metal’ (the genre) as in a specific wave of ‘alt guys’. long hair, tatted, mirror selfies, wants you to call him daddy, ghosts you when he realizes you’re not going to have sex with him on the first meet up]

and man, it is disheartening! i don’t have the funds to go concerts or festivals and a lot of them aren’t accessible, so i can’t meet anyone through there (plus people hardly talk to new people at those events nowadays— i say nowadays even though i wasn’t even there for those days lol). i’ve been invited to goth clubs by people who fall onto the vampire elder side of the spectrum… so possible but no likely because i don’t want be ‘thrown to the wolves’ so to speak and clubs are literally so inaccessible— the noise for one.

this whole summer i’ve debating if i should download bumble etc and say ‘hey i’m looking for alt FRIENDS’

i think the community aspect is so important to me because i am a lgbt disabled person of colour. i look at beautiful photography from the 70s to about the 90s (sprinkles of the 2000s). the photos are so diverse and feel real (so much trans people, dreamworld). and now the representation of the scene is pale e-girls (usually cisgender) decked out in killstar and dollskill with perfectly propped bedroom (a black skull there, coffin rug here product placement over there) etc

this not a question— though maybe there is a question hidden in this brain dump… your posts just turned a specific gear in my brain and i had to say something about it!

this can’t be the legacy of alt in the 2010s and 2020s what happened to the ‘rawring 20s’ (covid, capitalism). maybe i’ll be the change i want to see in the world…(thank you for allowing me to send this i appreciate your time a bunch, uhmmmm yeehaw!)

So you're probably not gonna like what I have to say simply because I don't like what I have to say here. I'll just start with the older guys. I find that there's a bit of a... How do I put this... Our community is made up of new blood that wants to be much older and more jaded than they are, and old blood who remembers being like that and is inclined to let them, which makes the scene a bit less dangerous for predators than it probably should be. Like I remember being in highschool and all my goth friends having fake IDs and lying about doing drugs and having older boyfriends, and I certainly don't begrudge any teenager that behavior because I've been there. Goth kids and young adults are very worried about breaking rules and being hard core, basically, and that is a known fact to opportunistic creeps. That being said other scenes also absolutely have problems with this sort of thing as well, I don't want to portray it as an alt scene exclusive thing partially because it's simply not true and partially because there are religious extremists and also just run of the mill conservative normies who absolutely have an interest in portraying our scene as exceptionally degenerate for whatever reason. I don't have a problem with age gaps either as long as everyone is legal and there's no other exploitation going on. If you want something like that having an older, better established squeeze when you're 19 can be as much of a status symbol as having a younger person who wants you when you're in your 30s is an ego boost imo. If you don't want something like that these guys are annoying. The guys who want a succubus harem are weird and gross tho ngl. Cult leader kink lookin ass.

Anyway now that that's out of the way onto the more difficult realities of the scene. By more difficult I mean entrenched problems that are more specific to our scene than the standard "disgusting individuals using the scene to try to ingratiate themselves to potential victims" that you find in literally any sufficiently large group of people.

Punk has never really been accessable. I don't like it, but it's true.

And by that I don't mean punk clothes or punk music has never really been accessable I mean punk events have never really been accessable. Punk originated in the 1970s in dinky little music clubs in major metropolitan areas. The original punks were mostly poor that's true but they were also the sort of people who were going to hang out at places like CBGB in NYC. Ever since then all of the culture basically happens in night clubs and concerts and the like. There was sort of a boom with the Emo movement on myspace when being alt got a little more accessible to people outside of major metro areas but we've never really left the night life behind. I would argue that this is also a problem that faces mainstream culture. Everything either costs money or is 21+ and everyone is drunk.

That being said, my experience has been really good so far. Everyone I meet at the club has been nice. I get asked for pronouns at the goth club more often than I get asked for pronouns at the gay club. The club I go to the people who work there and the regulars whom I've met with one exception all seem to be some flavor of queer. idk how old you are or what disabilities you have, but I will say the last time I went to Ground Zero (the goth club in Minneapolis) there was a group of people with blind canes there and the place is definitely wheel chair accessable. I also went to a Meet Me @ The Altar concert and there was ada seating right near the stage. If you're autistic my recommendation would be to get ear plugs. I'm autistic and went to When We We're Young in Vegas. I loved it. I moshed, I crowd surfed it was amazing. I saw my fav bands. I didn't get overstimulated once. And then I headed out and as I was leaving I took my earplugs out and put them in my pocket before I was fully clear of the venue and immediately the noise was overstimulating and I realized that my whole experience would have been completely sour if I hadn't had those babies in.

I also always see PoC every time I go out. I know thats just tangential experience and not all places are gonna be the same, but I'm getting the vibe that the reason the scene seems overwhelmingly white is because the guys with the cameras are a lil racist and only approach skinny white girls they want to fuck for modeling. I will say tho I see a few PoC every time I go to the club, and at WWWY the crowd was mixed but largely white. The crowd at the Meet Me @ The Altar concert (a pop-punk band which is made up of three WoC, here they are with two guitarists I don't recognize)

The crowd at their concert was by far the most mixed crowd I've seen at these sorts of events. So I guess what I'm saying is that I would guess based on what I've seen and what I've heard that there are a lot more PoC who want to go these things but only come out to events where they know they aren't gonna be the only one than who actually go to these things consistently. Which makes perfect sense, you probably don't need me to tell you that you're not the only person with those concerns, but what I can tell you is that there's enough of y'all that I feel comfortable saying the scene isnt all white and that the more people who come out the more people who are going to feel comfortable coming out.

Now the money thing. I would seriously recommend finding out where your local clubs are and who the local nobody bands are, because you're not getting into fall out boy and you're probably not getting into in this moment either. But there's always garage bands charging 5 bucks at the door for their first gigs, and that's the kind of concert where you meet people who are deep into the scene. I know Meet Me @ The Altar are touring right now. They've got a band called Kid Sister and a chick named Chloe Lilac opening for them. All three are pop-punk. And it cost me 25$ to get into their show. When I went to the show I discovered that the bar they were playing at has a whole room dedicated to shows like this and they have a lot of pop punk and punk bands that play there for not a lot. They serve food, you don't have to be an adult to get in. I assume that they're gonna be doing that sort of venue wherever they go so just check out where they're touring. If they've already passed you get on Google see what else you can find. I've met people who don't drink at the goth club but there's a 10 dollar door charge so it is what it is.

Personally I would not be afraid to do this stuff alone. Granted I'm white and able bodied, so your milage on going alone might vary. But I promise you once you get in the door the scene is not full of creeps. The creeps are just the ones seeking out the young girls who don't know where to start. There's people there who watched out for me with no benefit to themselves when I got out there the first time. And don't be afraid to talk to people. You make some acquaintances and hopefully you get invited to a house party or something and you become friends. I've mostly got one night stands so far but I've also shown up high off my ass a few times so I wasn't very conversational. There's people who want to be your friend. You just have to come out of the shell a little. And there might be some dicks. Fuck em. If they make fun of your vibe it's because they're insecure because the death hawk is their only personality trait.

TL;DR: unfortunately 90% of the goth scene is in bars and night clubs. But if you can get into one of those I promise it's not like being thrown to the wolves. My experience has been overwhelmingly positive. I won't pretend that the scene isn't largely white, but I'm also confident in saying you're probably not gonna be the only one there. And accomodations can totally be made for a lot of disabilities.

[sorcerous-caress]

Is Durge x Orin okay to ask about? Because that Durge x Orin x Ketheric orgy stuff makes me think about an AU where Orin decides to turn Durge into her little leashed pet instead of the whole lobotomy thing 😳

Yes! As long as durge is reader.

Orin being so jealous of Durge and realising its a better fall of grace to turn them into the absolute's army whore rather than poke air holes in their brain and throw them in a ditch

Dark content below

Taking you down was a cooperative work between the three, even your ex lover Gortash was in on it. But the fact Orin planned to keep you rather than throw you away was something only known to her.

And fuck does she has her fun with you, keeping you tied to her bed in Bhaal's temple. The same room where she keeps the impaled corpse of her mother how nice of her <3

Your routine is to wake up, get fucked by her until you pass out then sleep. Rinse and repeat. She keeps taunting you with how quickly the absolute army got over you, spilling the secrets of how the elder brain is throwing tantrums without you around.

But fuck she doesn't have any self control, she can't hold herself back from the urge to spill your pretty guts over your stomach and grind her pussy into it. Maybe change into a male version body or even your beloved Gortash and fuck your wound with her cock.

What about a gnoll? Wanna feel what's it like to be torn open by her cock that's the size of your forearm? Or how about she changes into a siren and ride you with her impossibly tight cunt as she keeps tearing the flesh of your neck open with her razor sharp teeth.

You're delirious from the constant bloodloss, orgasm after orgasm from both pain and pleasure making you lose your mind bit by bit. Orin is literally fucking the life force out of you.

But her secret is out before she can get too far. Surprisingly it's not Gortash who finds out with his network of spies.

But Ketheric.

And he comes into the room once after blackmailing her. First hand witnessing your miserable state. The once proud child of Bhaal, the one who ruled over the three of them, now reduced to nothing but a bloody fucked out bed whore.

You're disgusting, his cock aches against his arm as he forces your mouth open with his metal gloves, spitting in your mouth.

You swallow it and his cock twitches.

He wants in on the cut, he tells Orin. Reprimanding her for being a child who can't control her own wet cunt around you, how you would've passed away from her negligence wasn't it for Ketheric stepping.

Orin is furious because who the fuck is this old bag of bones think he is. She knows you were going to die, duh? That's the fucking point old man. She too is a child of Bhaal and she understands your fucked up urges better than Ketheric ever could.

She knows it's what you want, for the bed she marked you as her slut on to become your deathbed. It would've been a glorious sight, a day to truly remember. She would've cut apart her own flesh too to transform into her slayer form as she enjoyed your last time together before she tore your heart open from your chest and ate it like a pomegranate just as you reached your climax.

Ketheric isn't impressed, he tells her she had her fun and she should get some dignity and stop acting like a spoiled brat. You need to be moved to moonrise towers for medical treatment.

He doesn't mention how that medical treatment involves you cockwarming him at all hours of the day on his throne as he listens to the pleaes of others. Maybe it's inside you as he softly bounce you on his lap whenever he gets bored.

Or maybe you're on your knees and it's inside your throat, how your own drool is dripping down into your clothes and the ground. Your jaw aches from being forced open for so long and he occasionally makes you deepthroat him whenever you start squirming.

He brings you with him to the absolute on the roof. Makes you crawl near his feet like the dog he always knew you were, an absolute show of humiliation in front of everyone you ever held authority over in the past.

[ndostairlyrium]

Ooohboi 😂 Long post ahead! Also cw: drugs

Basically, I have this headcanon (which could possibly be canon but the info of this franchise come in bulks and I may have missed stuff lol) that clan hunters/scouts have maps of the safest routes to travel through in case they have to move quickly to a different location. And since they have to update them, they usually meet with other clans' hunters of the same geographic area at a certain time of the year. When these meetings occurr they all take notes, socialize, and gather intel on what's going on in the human communities of the surroundings. It's important to have things well organized since every clan has children and elders within their community, besides moving without a direction is just plain stupid. I don't believe all clans live isolated for then meeting each other once every 10 years. Communicating is a basic mean for survival, at the end.

Now, imagine freshma'am hunter Ankh in her 16/17s - very reckless, very idealistic, very idiotic - going on such a trip with her clan's older hunters to learn the basics of orienteering. She's a decent archer, but she's inexperienced obviously. Anxiety is over the roof, because being the olympic medal overthinker that she is, she put all the possible expectations over her shoulders, even if her mentors are very chill about it. And so she's there doing mediocre, failing, having an existential crisis overall stressful first experience outside the safety of her clan's perimeter... until all the hunters set camp for the night. Things change there: she manages to unwind and interact with everyone outside their task, and she starts to enjoy it! She's a cool kid, she's having fun, she's drinking embrium tea, she's nibbling some lunatic deathroot cookies...

The hell do her mentors knew substances would work on her like caffeine? Also, have I ever told you she's annoyingly hyperactive? Well, now you know, unfortunately. Imagine this bamboo stick with a blonde wig talking complex phylosophical concepts at the speed of light (and making no sense whatsoever ofc), hunting down hares and nocturnal rodents as if it was the easiest possible thing, and having a blast in general while the others are chilling around the campfire with the dumbest face ever. Pure entertainment for the group! Plus, she's overly self-conscious that she's intoxicated, so she's all like "will it wear down? down it will wear would will-- Have stars always been this luminous? Can we visit those old ruins we found earlier?? That would be so cool!! Am I talking right? Do my words make sense??? FERN. DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND. ME? F E R N" The moment tiredness starts to kick in, she's baffled. She can't use her legs properly, her clothes are becoming increasingly heavier, and her brain pulsates on her ears. But she still have ideas, ideas she would barely remember later << So, her and her bestie and later partner Fern would end up crashing a nearby Sylvanmoot (that really was a circle of willows and nothing else). They manage to befriend the shortest tree, who could relate to the awkwardness of a young person being put on their first responsibilities. They've been a brother, a comrade, and the three talked through existential topics for hours; hugging this newfound friend was like, the bare minimum to wave goodbye. Truly a tearjerking moment, if it wasn't for the fact that they were hugging a literal tree and rubbing themselves on its bark like freaking possums. Luckily the other hunters - those that weren't intoxicated, at least - would reach the idiots in time to stop them from ending up like parmesan cheese on pasta. From that experience Ankh got a couple of scars on her brow and scalp, Fern got some on his cheeks and mandible as well, and they ended up getting matching earrings. How, you say? They'll never know. This is a story the now elders of clan Lavellan tell to every single one of Ankh's partners, to her delight <3 and this is one of the reasons she never drinks or ingest stuff that could alter her senses - it's a xase of 70% allergies, 30% pure shame.

[yvmoveon]

This is a vent post. Trigger warning. This is more for myself.

Today was wild. To give you some background… So I was at my religious meeting in the morning with my sis. There were two different religious meetings going on at the same time. We were in the hall on the right. We were sitting listening to the bible study when we see one of the elders walking towards us. So in my mind i’m going through the things i did cause like why you walking up towards me during meeting LOL. so he gets closer and then kneels next to me and i start sweating cause i’m like what i do 😭

he starts whispering to me and my sis and he’s like i know y’all are nurses. there’s someone who needs help on the other side. so i jump up and start running and my sis is running behind me. we get to the other auditorium and there’s this older lady in the chair dead.. DEAD!! So i’m like 😦 i obviously try to stay calm and i quickly check her pulse and this lady has no pulse, my sis confirms as by checking as well. so i yell we have to start CPR. so there were a bunch of chairs so i’m like her have to get on the floor. someone is like 911 said not to move her. I was like well i am. her heart stopped (like dafuq?!) shes v heavy so i yell at the guys to help me get her to the ground lmao i was mad aggressive but like stern more so than mean.

anyways. she gets brought down to the ground and i start the CPR. we do like maybe 3 rounds and i’m like PULSE CHECK cause she had her flush back. and we find a pulse and i start smacking her face so she stays up but then we lose her pulse again. so im like nah restart CPR again. so me and sis are alternating doing the CPR compressions. it literally took 20 mins for the police and ambulance to arrive. and all through that my glasses kept falling off so i threw that ish. 😭 like why you take so long when there’s a hospital LITERALLY 5 mins away???? IDGI!!

anyways. the emt and police took over and me and my sis were in daze like what just happened with a bunch of ppl who just wanted to learn more about God traumatized. The lady was brought to the hospital and she’s in ICU intubated. It was confirmed a heart attack but at least she’s alive. cause the doodoo operator was like don’t move her. nobody knew what to do but that was horrible advice on the operators part cause she would have been brain dead. :/ anyways … I hope she gets better. 🥺

Life really can change in sec. So fickle man. I’m glad she’s alive though.

[boysdontcryboycry]

this post is pretty metaphorical and almost entirely nonsensical. sorry

thinking again about dustin's s2 mindflayer analogy falling apart when hopper asked how to kill it. thinking about how will the wise is a wizard but mike (who is pretty much never wrong about anything) (except for calling el a mage when mages are npcs and she doesn't even really have mage powers she's much closer to a wizard leaping between schools of magic but also manifestationgate 👁👁? cuz this sure descibes her before she broke out of the lab

) called will their cleric. how vecna's curse is literally necromancy in the form of draining a person's life force and how henry should have died from the radiation burns he got traveling between dimensions or disintegrated like jason was by the gate opening in the creel house but didn't because he just necromanced like thirty people. and how the mindflayer isn't actually a mind flayer but a tool and the physical representation of the hivemind that henry is the brain of as the actual dnd mind flayer and so henry is a paradox in that he is both the mind flayer and the undead (lich? zombie? both? who knows!) that can resist the mind flayer's thrall oops i started reading about thralls and having revelations

billy was DEFINITELY a thrall, and will was well on his way before being blasted out of it by the power of love and seventy space heaters. i think the shadow is like a physical representation of the thrall and plugs you into the telepathic network and is also possible to expell Like A Demon so they could do a quasi-thrall that was reversible?

the rest of the flayed in season 3 i think were somewhere between ceremorphs and (reverse?) oblexes? possibly because ceremorphs henry wasn't really looking to make more mind flayers and ceremorphs ? he was just looking to kill? the hive mind. let me be coherent in a different paragraph (although i will say oblexes were introduced just over a year before season 3 came out as the creation of a make-a-wish kid and thus the similarities might've been a happy coincidence)

ceremorphs. illithid tadpoles injected into beings to eat their brains and take over their bodies and either become mind flayers themselves or become some other ceremorphized being that either was a subset of the hivemind to boost psionic ability or to find new victims to become food/members or other stuff idk etc, or in special cases becoming a being powerful enough to split from the control of the elder brain and start their own colony. the flayed in s3 get their faces sucked by tentacles a lot like will in s1, when the tadpoles were first deposited. they certainly look like corpses whose brains are currently being devoured from the inside.

anyway i don't think henry was particularly looking to make more mind flayers at this time partially from his fixation on el and will and also thinking pretty much the entire planet isn't worth it and they don't deserve the power and are better off as food and then as a biomass in his meatflayer that we still don't really know the end goal for? and so their orders were to munch the brains and then destroy the host body! yummy chemicals! the meatflayer ALSO could've been his attempt at literally physically creating his own elder brain. tadpoles plus nutrients plus hivemind shadow particles plus biomass? all the makings of a big ole brain ready to stew in some brine in a deep dark cave with lots of tunnels oh yeah that's why they were digging the tunnels

also btw besides ceremorphs a super rare tadpole will birth a super powerful mind flayer whose job it is to split the colony and move somewhere else and to become a new elder brain :)

and so im gonna black out cuz i can make absolutely anything about rosegate and the mind flayer "deities" ilsensine and maanzecorian just SCREAM rosemary and dick wheeler respectively, bro just trust me (go read their wikis), even dick's glaring abscence from the narrative as maanzecorian "died" and yet survived and his principles still being followed also .

mike wheeler knowing things he absolutely shouldn't check.

so like im convinced there is a (metaphorical?) elder brain underneath the creel house that tadpoled henry on move-in day (running from the bathroom?) and he became a ulitharid and is now splitting off to form his own colony with an elder brain under the library that may or may not be a brainstealer dragon. this bitch tadpoled tiamat

also if time travel is your thing Illithids Are Your Bitches

i completely lost the plot of this post

[kedsandtubesocks]

ALSO PLEASE TELL ME IF MY ASKS ARE GETTING TOO MUCH i love spooky season and i never wanna stop talking about it

but....can we talk about yautja!din please and thank you <3

PLS I WOULD NEvER SEND THEM ALL IN!!! 🥺😭🫡

If anything i wanna thank you for just wanting to hear me ramble like a ridiculous professor that’s still wildly rambling even though class ended 15 minutes ago LMAO

And bb as someone who would live in spooky season forever your asks are making my heart SOAR my lovely Eri and now this one??? 🥺💕

I am ready to scream into the void cause LETS GO!!!

I didn’t think of the Din and Yautja connection until I saw AVP and how there was a whole theme about honor in the hunt and there’s a full tradition of a warrior’s rite of passage and my mind sirens started blaring because that’s?? So mandalorian?? And then with the MASK?? Yeahh…..

And okay okay so Din! I see him a beautiful blend of Wolf, from Aliens Vs Predator: Requiem and Scar from AVP!

Scar specifically because we see him having a humor when he chuckles in the movie and how tender he is with Lex (which literally scrambled my brain and i rewatched their scenes so many times) and Din in any universe I believe holds a respect for his comrades and for others he would deem as weaker, plus gentler monster giving a mark of strength out of respect is so Din

And then Wolf from AVP:R because…okay wolf is the guy the yautja send in to deal with the outbreak because he’s an elite elder warrior and he gets shit DONE! He takes down so many xenomorphs and the way he does it so bad ass and so efficient just screams Din whenever he takes down storm troopers and then thinking of Din also being older and a known warrior along his tribe just makes me think of how perfectly he’d be as an elder yautja hunter just like Wolf

Also for sure he still adopts the baby and can you imagine this huge beast of a hunter that took down about seven xenomorphs while gingerly holding Grogu?

Yeah that image is scrambling my brain all over again GOODBYE

[sk3tchysakuraa]

Your andigi headcanons were so cute do you have any more?

FALLS ON THE FLOOR awahhh ty!! I’m glad u liked them! Yes I have more, I can talk about them for hours hddh

———

• Andre follows Gigi around everywhere, and I mean everywhere. He’s like a cat that doesn’t leave u alone

• He likes to sit in her lap during meetings or whatever if he can, or get her to sit in his lap

• Gigi is actually pretty ticklish, mainly in her neck area and it drives Andre wild. Likes seeing how much he can make her squirm until she gets pissed off

• Gigis a semi hoarder, mainly w/ clothes, shoes & home decor while Andre is not. He has to put a lot of stuff she grabs at stores back

• Andre likes to count/kiss her beauty marks

• not a hc but Just the way you are is literally their song ‼️‼️ (thx bffl Lynn)

• Andre picks up his poetry again bc of her! Writing her little poems & sneaking them into her office or reading them to her

• Gigi falls asleep at work a lot, Andre puts his lab coat over her and stays there til she wakes up

• Gigi kisses soft.. and gentle.. and sweet.. meanwhile Andre does not. Every kiss of his seems like he’ll never see her again

• Andre likes to hit his vape then kiss her sometimes, twirls my hair bark woof

• They’re both touchy but Andre more. He needs to hold her hand or be by her a lot, she doesn’t mind

• I think they’ve always been kinda close, so their relationship wasn’t a complete surprise. Probs the type of “friends” who would eat off each-others forks & share drinks a lot

• Andre likes to make this woman watch realllyyy bad movies dhhd. Like Goat Story (if u know u know…) She hates it but it’s fun to get drunk & watch them

• They have lil spa nights! He really likes the mask she uses on him but it’s expensive & he can’t use it everyday dhdh

• They take forever to get out of bed in the morning, Andre will not let go sometimes. If he does Gigi will go make coffee & stuff while he sleeps a bit more

• Some nights Gigi can’t sleep so Andre pets her hair and talks about something he knows she’s not suppperrr interested in (aka basically his elder scrolls tournament story dhdh)

• Andre has a hard time with words, like he can write good I mean he use to do poetry. He just can’t really say stuff in the right way, so it causes a few issues bc Gigi takes things wrong sometimes <//3

• Before living together Andre would always call Gigi on her ride home from work to make sure she got home safe. They would FaceTime a lot, she would end up passing out and he would just watch her sleep for a while (weirdo /j)

————

So srry this took abit!! Some life stuff going on, then my brain was empty for a while sniffle

[starglitterz]

I will gladly take any Diluc constellations >.>

I really like watching big group streams, like that one Luxiem vs Noctyx valorant stream from a while ago (who knows how many times I’ve watched that stream-) or those pretty chill ones to play in the background

Okay so the brainrot :D So Kaeya is canonically adored by the elders of Mondstadt, so I imagine all the grandmas showing off the newborns in their family to Kaeya. And then all the babies end up loving his hands (can we blame them? He does have very pretty hands)

And then vampire hunter!Diluc x Vampire!reader >.>

- tired

ok but. after seeing his new outfit i MAY be slightly more reluctant to hand over the diluc cons 🥲

OMGG I HAVENT SEEN THAT ONE 😭 i unfortunately don't rlly watch noctyx + i used to be too busy for long streams 💔 but now ill check it out!! tmrw ive got a ton of chores so ill probs leave it playing in the bg haha

OMG 😭😭😭 THAT'S SO CUTE WTF </3 kaeya would def be the kind to get along w the elderly folk in mondstadt, im so glad that's canon 🥰 and AHHH babies who cry when kaeya has to stop carrying them,,, SO TRUE!!!

STOPDKWKDM YOUR BRAIN IS SO HUGE FOR THIS IDEA!!! i think ive written vampire!diluc once but omfg this concept... the dynamic... literally bursting into tears and rolling on the floor 😭 highk if u ever write smth w this concept tag me PLEASE!!!!! and also if not id love to write for it too 😳

BUT ANYWAYS tired i hope ur feeling better and that you've recovered!!! take care & drink loads of water mwah <3

[faustocosgrove]

and on the fourteenth day of reviewmas I, Fausto, give to thee:

14 missing light sources

[(a show taking place in 2040/6 other shows i reference in this dual review)/(a different franchise with 1 manga + 4 anime series + 3 tv specials + 5 feature films + 1 musical +1 video game + 2 live action adaptations)] - (one show released in 1994 - the other released in 1987) = 13 reasons why i’m placing this review at number 13.

one of 12 instances of elder abuse

11 yawns

my 10 remaining brain cells after this shitty movie jfc

9 instances this show reminded me of a better show

an 80s cult movie

7 lgbt main characters in an incredibly queer manga like holy shit

6 ye olde government agents

5/5 stars best movie of the decade easily. might be the best movie of all time

4 scantily clad teenaged girls (fbi open up! meme)

the 3rd time i read the same book about lawns maybe?

2 high school animes

and a ninja book

…from a guy who still thinks about the naruto series in the year 2024

the devil conspiracy

this movie had so many plot holes it was like watching a how it’s made video about colanders. it was also dark as fuck. as in lighting wise you can literally not fucking see anything that’s going on. and it has some of the worse cgi i’ve seen.

the basic plot is there’s devil worshippers in italy who want to steal the shroud of turin to get jesus’s dna to make a jesus clone so lucifer can possess the jesus baby and take over the world. they pick some random blonde american woman to knock up with jesus, her italian priest friend dies in the scuffle and his dead body is possessed by the archangel michael who proceeds to save the world lone wolf american action hero style.

if i started listing everything about this movie that didn’t make sense i would get nothing done today. i will say the most problematic thing about this movie is the over arching character development the random blonde lady goes through. she starts as an independent, world traveling, phd student on her way to gaslight gatekeep girlboss her way to the top and then she gets raped and fails to abort the baby, pops out the kid and can’t give him away because he’s literally jesus and she’s suddenly this pure virginal birth mothering character who doesn’t speak.

the best thing about this movie is that the actor who plays toddler jesus for the last minute of the movie is clearly not white. so 10/10 for that. and i’m pretty sure the actor playing powered up angel michael is black but i’m honest to god going to have to google who the actor is because the movie is so dark you couldn’t really tell. light googling he is! his name is peter mensah. which is like, some pretty bottom of the barrel praise. especially since like, you’ve cast a black actor as the character whose going to save the world but then turn the character into a white guy for like 90% of the movie. and double that with the non-white jesus actor and the kind of ambiguous ending the movie has where it’s sort of implied that resurected jesus is like trapping lucifer in his body naruto and kyuubei style. but like this could also be lucifer acting like he’s jesus, it’s actually that ambiguous.

okay i gotta stop now or else i really will be here all day.

[drwcn]

Your idea of Wen Qing accidentally switching consciences of Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng and the shenanigans that followed reminded me of a British talk show. In which one section fans of the show can send in questions to ask the celebrity guests and one question was "if ur mom and ur celebrity crush switch bodies and the only way back for their own bodies is for u to have sex with either or (moms mind in crushes body and crushes mind in moms body) which one would you pick?". Only for Jiang Cheng its have golden core or watch the triple layer horror of 1.) Watching ur elder brother be wooed and start a relationship 2.)Watching ur body be used for wooing and show affection in ur bros relationship 3.) Know for a fact ur bro had sex in ur bode w/ Lan Wangji.

LOOOLLL

Wq knew that she fucked up the minute wwx lost consciousness in the procedure, because he was supposed to stay awake. And then "wwx" woke up first and saw his own body aka jc's body and well...the cat was essentially out the bag after that. When the actual wwx woke up in jc's body two hours later it was....a hot mess. Screaming, crying, more screaming, more crying.

The pros of this situation

- in the eyes of the world suddenly JC became much much more confident and in your face and literally talk your head off if you dare disrespect Yunmeng (wwx maybe was over compensating a bit bc on one hand he wants to make JC look competent and on the other hand he now finally has a body in which he can say things that he couldn't before).

- JC now has a powerful golden core and now the attention of the world is no longer on him. He no longer has to be the one to hold up his entire clan. He finds that it's actually not so bad.

- LXC finds the new JC very interesting and NMJ quickly takes a liking to him. LQR now tolerates the new WWX dramatically more and even praises him on multiple occasions much to the surprise of everybody.

- Gusu, Yunmeng, and Qinghe grow closer.

The cons of the situation is

- JC is obviously in love with wq and now everyone thinks "wwx is in love with wq"

- lwj being horny for JC!wwx accounts for 95% of jc's daily problems.

- wwx!jc put wwx's foot down and says no butt stuff while you're in my body...which lwj took to mean he can blow JC!wwx as often as he wants.

- a man just doesn't need to know what his own human form looks like after being debauched by lan wangji during their lunch break.

- lwj now has the memory of JC!wwx on his knees forever engraved in his brain, which was hot at the time but after they switched back was 🤢.