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#and I think I just need to focus on being by myself a little more if possible
cutieln4 · 5 hours
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Hot Laps | LN4 smau
lando norris x reader
summary: lando takes an actress on a hot lap. they immediately have chemistry.
fc: marsai martin, pinterest girls
a/n: GUYS IM SORRY!!!! college is kicking my ass and my friends are being fake so i'm sorry it's been a while my motivation has kinda been down :( also sorry it's short
yourusername
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yourusername new movie coming out soon!!! go watch it!!
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username1 I CAN'T WAIT OMGGGG
zendaya gorgeous as always
yourusername love u girl🫶
username2 YOU ARE GLOWING
username3 looked at myself and sighed
username4 i'm sat
username5 mother is mothering
username6 IM SO EXCITED
username7 face card never declines
yourusername added to their story
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caption: GUESS WHOS GOING TO THE MIAMI GP!!!
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username1 OMG I HOPE I SEE YOU
username2 lock your doors
username3 ugh more celebrities that know nothing about f1 getting invited🙄
mclaren We're excited to have you!
f1
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f1 Lando Norris takes actress Y/n Y/l/n on a hot lap! Watch the full video here
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username1 holy crap
username2 no longer lando norizz😭
yourusername i was only a little bit scared!
landonorris just a bit?
username3 ok so now i need them to date
username4 how was lando able to focus while she looked at him like that?? i would fold immediately
username5 they were both so quick with their responses like the chemistry is insane
username6 idk who i'm jealous of more
username7 it felt like i was interrupting something
username8 she's so beautiful
username9 it was all too much for little lando norris
landonorris
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landonorris WOOOO P1!!!! Thanks for being my good luck charm, @.yourusername you'll have to come to races more often😉
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username1 HELLLOOOO????
danielricciardo they grow up so fast🥹
username2 what happened to shame?
yourusername of course! you'll just have to invite me :)
landonorris see you soon!
username3 OMG???
oscarpiastri Good job mate!
username4 IM SO HAPPY I CRIED
username5 lando norris is a grand prix winner🥳
username6 i'm still smiling
username7 congrats but the caption is crazy, rizz unmatched
yourusername
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yourusername thank you again mclaren for the invite, i think papaya is my color! and i even got to see some cute boy win!
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username1 "some cute boy" yeah okay
username2 i love the online flirting now kiss pls
landonorris you definitely belong in papaya🧡
yourusername oh yeah?
username3 LANDOS COMMENT BYE
username4 oh to be able to flirt with lando norris
username5 okay but why is no one talking about how STUNNING she is
landonorris i'm talking about it
username5 OMG
username6 when will it be my turn😣
username7 new wag PLEASE
username8 they NEED to date or else i will be upset
landonorris
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landonorris nice little break😊
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username1 WHAT
username2 wait...but y/n posted a few days ago and she was shooting a movie, so who is this???
username3 streets are saying this isn't y/n😔
yourusername looks fun, invite me next time!
username4 oh so it wasn't her
username5 i am a child of divorce
username6 WDYM THATS NOT Y/N??
username7 but they would literally be the IT couple
username8 fr, the chemistry was unmatched
username9 guys what if she's just saying that to throw us off?
username10 okay but she is literally filming for a movie she can't just go on vacation
yourusername just added to their story
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Caption: who's this cutie?
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username1 YES MY PARENTS HAVE REUNITED
landonorris hmm i don't know, you should ask him🤔
username2 is his gf ok with you calling him cute??? homewrecker
username3 interesting...
username4 THE HEART IM CRYING
username5 yall are so perfect
yourusername
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yourusername fun weekend😚
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username1 WHITE BOY SPOTTED
username2 dare i say it...is that lando
username3 he already has a gf
username4 you know who's eyes look like that?🤭
username5 bruh there's billions of people in this world it could be anyone
username6 hold on im trying to spell gorjus
username7 interesting...
landonorris
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landonorris fuck a soft launch
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username1 OMG I KNEW IT
yourusername LANDO WHAT ABOUT OUR PLAN??
landonorris sorry🤷‍♂️
yourusername ur lucky i love you
username2 YALL TRICKED US WTF
username3 bout time omfg
maxfewtrell Congrats, mate!
username4 yayy!! sleeping on the highway tonight🤗
username5 power couple fr
username6 quick everyone act surprised!
yourusername
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yourusername yes it was me all along
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username1 MY PARENTS IM SO HAPPY
username2 dare i say the hottest couple ever??
landonorris my sweetheart🧡
username3 when will it be my turn😫
username4 HOLY SHIT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS
username5 i want what they have
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taglist: @evasmlp @partnerincrime0 @r0nnsblog @raizelchrysanderoctavius @daniiiboo @wisestarfishbouquet @noodleysalad @thatgirlwholikescars @jxnellat @blakebearsblog @angelluv444 @pretty-little-bunny382728 @etterdotexe @scopeiguess @noope306 @burning8wood @styl1shl1v @venusandstardust @daniellef89x @nzygftoji @laheykol06 @blodwyn4u @allthings-fandoms @woozarts @astroniii @lilorose25 @dejavuontrack @xxx-betty @wobblymug @m3ntally-unstable @armystay89 @sarakay-gvf @kar1nsworldx @velentine @rexit-mo @blodwyn4u @lammys-thinking @sam02009 @kaorisakamotofan @taylorsvogue13 @loveparkersblog @delicatetrashtree @hashmiya @noodleboyluke @heavy-vettel @ilivbullyingjeongin @theblueblub @bloodyymaryyy @stressed-cherry @da-writer
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dalliesque · 2 days
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Mr. Nice Guy, Fresh Guy
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𐙚 sypnosis let me introduce myself, nice guy, fresh guy of the night (alright) everybody tells you better watch out girl.
꒰ png flirty!HAN TAESAN x fem!reader , fluff , neighbours to lovers , coworkers to lovers , mutual pinning , flirty taesan , lower case intended . cw petnames. wc 890 words, proofread ꒱
yu notes : oh no i think i have the taesan brainrot 👻 shout out to @sanaxo-o for proofreading this, without her this would actually flop 😵‍💫 thank you sm hon <33
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𐙚 Wednesday
“let me (re)introduce myself, nice guy, fresh guy of the neighbourhood.” taesan raises his eyebrows in a flirty manner, his hands sliding through his hair in a slick motion before leaning once more on the fence separating his and your front-yard. you hold in a chuckle, nodding. as you glance his way, soon looking away, your focus still solely on the plants in your yard, badly needing your care after being left for so long by the previous owner.
“so..” taesan continues, clicking his tongue watching you curiously. “you free this weekend? you know since i helped you and all” hearing this, your head snaps towards his direction not believing the words escaping his mouth. taesan simply shoots you a wink, and you can't help but to chuckle. your head returning to it's original position, fixed on the plants.
thinking about it, his words were true. he did help you with stuff (moving things around to your new house, since he's strong and all;) and what's the hurt in repaying the favour and let him take you out? wait.. is this a date? “i can make time for you.” you reply to his words, which did take a bit longer than it's supposed to be. a shit eating grin slowly appears in taesan's face. so shitty you can feel it from the back of your head actually, “i can feel your stupid grin from here” you roll your eyes playfully, looking back at him spraying a bit of water his way.
taesan laughs as he dodges the water you're spraying mercilessly towards him. “is this your way to repay my deeds?”—”no but it would be if our hang out isn't a date” “oh.” taesan stops dodging the water fully just standing there while staring right at your eyes. a little smirk on his face. oh how bad you want to wipe it away from his stupidly handsome face. taesan lets out a chuckle, about to jump over the fence. “i'll spray you with the jet if you get any closer!!”—”fine!!”
𐙚 Thursday
“can you rate how excited are you for the date from 9 to 10?” taesan appears behind you, whispering close to you. his warm breath tickles your ear, sending shivers down to your spine making you almost jolt out in surprise. “a hello would be nice??!”—”hello” you roll your eyes, sighing as you shake your head in disbelief. what the hell is he doing in the ladies locker room? “what are you doing here? it's the ladies lock—” you pause, oh there's no such thing as a ladies locker here. a smirk grows on taesan face, leaning in on the lockers.
“this is not the changing room babe” you scrunch your nose looking away, feeling heat from your neck slowly going up your cheeks from the embarrassment. oh how you wish to just dissappear under a big rock. “don't call me that.” you utter, going back to your locker to continue arranging your stuff. “oh sorry, i was just warming up. who knows i'll use it often in the future” your whole face is crimson red by now, forcing you to exit the shared locker room “hey wait you haven't rate the date yet!” “it's still in two days!!” “well should we do it now?”
𐙚 Friday
“one more day.” taesan teasingly whispers, his voice entering your ear gently and swiftly exiting the place as if nothing had happened. as if he didn't relentlessly tease you today, and as if his words wouldn't bother you the whole day and of course not forgetting the playful wink he'd send you before going out through the door. this is really bad for your heart. it's the second day of your shift here on the pizza store, but you're already pondering whether to quit or not. he really knows your weak spots. you thank the universe for making him work in the delivery rather than cashier or anything else involving being close to you 24/7. cause you would definitely would not survive.
𐙚 D-DAY(TE)
taesan rests his head on the palm of his hand looking at you intently as you twirl the pasta around your fork nervously. “look at my eyes” you give him a quick glance before holding in your laugh, looking back at your plate. “stop looking at me that way!”—“with these sexy eyes of mine?” you roll your eyes playfully still not looking his way. “oh come on just give in my shawty”—“shut up!!” taesan let out a small ‘ouch’ when you nudge his legs with your own under the table. he soon laughs holding his hand up in surrender. “atleast you're looking at my eyes now.”
you smile, okay, maybe his eyes are... what's the word? sexy? no, not that, but whatever the way to describe his shining, shimmering eyes, you wouldn't be able to say it out loud. it would obviously bruise your ego. “swooned by the nice guy's charm?” taesan raises his eyebrows, a mischievous smile overcoming his lips. yeah, that's it his eyes are charming, and yes, you probably did get swooned by the ‘nice guy's charm.’
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striked cannot be tagged !!
@ :: @gyuvinreblog , @hyunhanie , @keii-starz , @starryriize , @eun-luv , @bambisnc , @intakstars , @enhacolor
@yochubi
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alwaysobsessed777 · 2 days
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FALSE GOD - L.K.
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Words: 878
Warnings: I don't think theres any
Summary: Just reader being utterly in love with Liz Kitley (Can't blame them)
"Baby, please don't leave," I whined as girlfriend was trying to remove herself from the bed we shared. Key word: trying.
She chuckled softly, "Y/n, I gotta go to practice." Her voice dripping in sleep.
"But I want you here," I had my hand wrapped around her wrist, slowly pulling her back into bed.
"Bu-" I cut her off, "5 more minutes."
She rolled her eyes, laying back down. I took this as my opportunity to keep her here for awhile. I threw myself on top of her, me straddling her waist, her hands finding mine.
"You said 5 minutes?"
"Oops, I lied," I shrugged, her laugh sounding like music to my ears.
"I love you," She somewhat whispered, her thumbs rubbing small circles on my hips.
My breath hitched, her lips finding my neck, making their way to my jaw, "I love you too."
She chuckled, the vibrations sending chills down my body, her lips finally reaching mine. My hands found her hair, her grip tightened on my hips.
"Baby," She whispered, pulling away slightly, "I really need to go."
"Just forget practice," I wanted her, I wanted to be in her presence at all times.
She smiled, titling her head a little, "I'm sorry, y/n, but I have to go. As much as I love to lay in this bed with you all day."
I groaned, getting off of her, "Fine, but I'm going to need you to make up for this."
"For what?" She threw on a shirt, "For going to practice?"
"Yep," She rolled her eyes. She made her way over to my side of the bed, placing a kiss on my forehead, then one on my lips.
"I'll be back," She went to leave, but I called out for her.
"Liz, would you wanna go get something to eat tonight," I rushed to the door to meet her.
She looked down at me, a smile etched on her face, "Of course I do. So, be ready when I get back?"
I nodded. She leaned down, taking my chin in between her fingers, pulling me into a soft kiss.
"Can't wait to see what you're gonna wear," She says, still holding my chin.
"I can't wait for you to take it all off," She raised a brow, "What? It slipped."
She shook, her head laughing, "I should really get going."
I put on a pout, "Okay."
"I'll be back."
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A knock at the door pulled me from the couch. I straightened the tight, black dress I choose to wear. Throwing on my shoes, I ran over to the door, opening it. There I found Liz, my girlfriend. Something I will never get over saying.
“Hey, baby,” She looked nice, like really nice. Her hair down, flowing over her shoulders. Her smile radiating.
Blush coated my cheeks, the name still having an effect on me, "Hey."
"I got these for you," She pulled her hands from behind her back, a small bouquet of my favorite flowers.
"Aww, Liz, you didn't have to," Her smile growing slightly at my reaction.
"I wanted to. Beautiful flowers for an even more beautiful girl," She shrugged, as if she wasn't the most perfect person in the world.
"Stop it," I hide my face, the blush being extremely noticeable.
"No, no. Let me see your pretty face," She pulled my hands from my face, never letting go of them, "There." She placed a soft kiss on my lips.
"You're amazing," I whispered, our faces only a couple inches apart.
"We should probably get goin'," She inched away. Maybe we should stay inn tonight, the only thing going through my head.
"Okay," She lead me to the car, opening the door.
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"Thank you, for tonight and all," I blushed, she turned to look at me. The way her eyes held contact with mine, made me shutter
"Of course, I would do anything for you," Her hand landing on my thigh, chills covering my body.
"Liz," She hummed in response, "I need you."
She moved her focus from the road, landing it on me. A smirk finding it's way on her lips. "Do you?"
I nodded, she shook her head, "Words, baby."
"Yes."
She drove quicker, speeding through the streets, pulling into the parking lot of our apartment complex. She rushed out, opening my door. Pulling me to our place, I pulled the keys out, rushing to open the door.
As soon as we made it in, my body was pushed into the door, hers on top of mine. She kissed me deeply, one of her hands on my waist, the other roaming my body.
She separated our lips, giving time to breath. "I've needed you. I've needed you ever since this morning."
Her lips fell into a soft smile, a similar one on mine, "God," She laughed, "I'm so in love with you."
"Liz, I love you so much. It's almost religiously."
She took that opportunity, pulling me into another kiss, slowly moving us into the bedroom. She never stopping, we made our way onto the bed. Her lips traveled from mine to my jaw, to my neck.
"Is it okay if I take these off?" She messed with the hem of my shirt, I nodded quickly.
"Y/n."
"Yes."
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A/N: not sure how I feel on writing smut, so please bare with me.
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im-smart-i-swear · 3 months
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unable to let go
something something both of these fuckers have spent so long depending on each other that they cant function w/o the other guy despite Tashi's continously worsening mental state and unhealthy clinginess and Soup's desire to explore the world and meet new people...
like the thing about soup is that she had never really been a person who does well stuck in one place for too long, but also tashi is her brother. theyve been through hell and back together and she feels immense guilt for even considering having a life outside of their little family, and also she has NOT worked through her gladiator trauma AT ALL and has been just holding everything in and trying to be a perfect caring figure despite all the anger and frustration she experiences on a daily basis...
(tashi is dealing with that too, but hes never been as good as her at hiding it, and also he has the tendency to make this stuff everyones problem - thus sidelining soups problems by accident. i think soup is kind of what tashi desperately WANTS to be, in a way. on the outside shes the 'stoic selfless caregiver' and i think tashi is jealous of that, so much so that he sometimes forgets that soup is just as much a person with her own problems and desires and flaws as everyone else)
soup is frustrated by how shes been having to take more and more responsibilities as time goes on (bc of tashis Whole Thing and buddys fear of assuming any kind of leadership position) and a part of her loathes this life and she wants to leave. i think her and zoras relationship plays a big role in her feeling on the matter bc shes NOT part of the family, shes someone new and diffrent and thats enticing... also over the years soup had built up this calm easygoing persona that zora can see through, zora is very aware of soups violent past and she is not sfraid of it, giving soup a safe space to express those more negative feelings freely for the first time in YEARS
Its very hand in unlovable hand coded but they very much love each other still and thats kinda the problem
Also putting some notes on their younger selves here bc this feels relevant to how these two ended up
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donutdrawsthings · 9 months
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*grabs you by the arms, and by you I also mean me*
Listen to me. You have to allow yourself to indulge in things that are currently popular. You have to allow yourself to make and wear things that are going to age with time and mark a certain point in your life. You are not losing your individuality by watching a popular movie or show. There will never be anyone quite like you, and all you're doing is allowing yourself to live in the moment and have some fun.
Never stop questioning things, though. Never JUST go with the flow because that's what others like and you can tolerate it at best. You know what you like better than anyone else, and you should never let external factors pressure you into doing anything! Just don't lose yourself in the isolating corners of "uniqueness". It can be such a lonely place to be in... Even long term as you look back on memories. Having something be dated is fun and something to laugh about.
You're not just another grain of sand for enjoying yourself
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piplupod · 26 days
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really want to blow this account up and start fresh but ... i like having the archive of things... i have a very shoddy memory so its nice to have access to a memory-keeping space.... i just feel so unhappy with and embarrassed by the people I've been (though im grateful they got us through all that shit, even though we're not really anywhere good still)
i just. head in my hands. i feel so embarrassed by everything I've ever been and I wish I could hide it all away so people don't see that and carry it with them in their idea of me.
....I think maybe my loneliness is starting to get to me! I am wanting to show people my Best self, but that is not my true self. i just want so badly to be likeable and to have friends 😭
#im not cool im not talented im not optimistic or positive im not funny im not clever or smart#i have so little to offer but i want connection so desperately#im really trying hard to stop being such a complainer and downer but holy moly life is so unkind lately#im remaining as positive as i can ;-; but it is. so hard. when it feels like death is watching you from just around the corner#the abuse doesnt end and mother just keeps acting worse.#i want so badly to be happy and positive and not such a terrified mess all the time but. i do not know if it is possible#and im Doing things lately!! trying to give myself other things to focus on !!#going to the centre as often as possible and helping in the kitchen there and making art and learning coding and doing cleaning#but unfortunately i cannot seem to escape the feelings of doom and fear bc of... my situation#idk im just very frustrated and upset. im trying really hard. i just think my trying isnt good enough unfortunately#it feels rather unfair that abuse isolates me directly and indirectly. and im trying not to blame it on all that#because i know i need to put work in myself. i cannot just play the victim. and i AM trying and putting work in#its just... not enough. i dont know how much more i can do though. i dont know HOW to do more.#anyways. im sorry for being like this. im trying to improve and im trying to stop being such a scared sad sap all the time#i will have to keep thinking on perhaps starting anew somehow but i dont rly know if thats possible fjfkfl#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#abuse cw
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vilelittlecritter · 1 month
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You ever sit in a fandom space for so long that now looking at it kind of makes you want to rip your nails off.
Yeah.
#feeling this with Omori#ill look at my recommended tags and see some shit and immediately think “thats enough for today.”#granted alot of the community is children so of course theres gunna be cringey posts and that's fine#but then theres times its just weird and i realise i am far to tired for this shit now#i wanted to try and get into fandom spaces to be myself more and open up but i have now just gotten tired#but ultimately this was also the point in my life i was having an identity crisis and i like to think i have changed alot over the last year#im tired of everyone being called out as a predator or twelve year olds fighting over stupid shit#id rather focus my energy into my real life problems and not the latest “blorboscimbosimp24” drama#christ sometimes i regret getting into omori which is sad because its a game near and dear to my heart#but everyday theres some new shit that happens that sends people fucking feral#and also omocat herself is just a whole can of worms i just cannot be assed with.#that's not to say i hate everything about fandoms. ive met and talked to some really nice people and i enjoy their stuff#but still i have so little patience for peoples bullshit#sorry for ranting but im done with everyones horseshit and people being predators and wether or not omocat is a creep#i dont know i sort of dont care because god knows i have far more pressing matters in my personal life that need my attention#also this doesn't mean im not talking or posting about omori. i still like it but fuck man sometimes it feels awkward saying i like it#rant#random rambles
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#let me express to u perhaps The frustration of my life#i like to learn. it is perhaps my favorite thing. new information. more more more constantly#but. my fucking brain is the fucking worst. because im not fucking stupid if i can focus and process the words being said i can understand#many things. i like to learn about math and physics and chemistry and biology and anatomy... ect concepts#but the focus and the processing of words is where we have problems. because i cannot focus for more than like 5min#i blink and suddenly ive been spaced out for a sec and need to reorient. i cant prioritize what to do 1st and im constantly bouncing betwee#tasks so nothing ever gets done and im too intimidated to start learning things. and when im trying to learn we habe the processing words#problem. like my reading comprehension is so fucking bad. like i will read a book on paper and maybe retain 25% of the info if im not#hardcore trying. for a class where i had to do a ton of paper reading. i had to read everything out loud to myself. highlight important#info. write myself a summary based on the highlights and then read the paper again before i could even begin to feel comfortable in#discussions. it was so fucking frustrating and miserable. ppl will give me physical books and im like thanks i cant fucking read sorry#too fucking dyslexic. read and listen they say. u have to read and listen at the same time bc i cant pay attention and i cant read#so if i do both then maybe the info gets in. thats y i have to read aloud but i hate it and still get distracted#i mean. i probably just have an attention problem. its also really annoying that my short term working memory is so awful#bc in order to make things make sense i have to draw or write them out. i cant judt go off the top of my head or i get stuck saying thr sam#thing over and over and over. its like my ability to think is extremely shallow. but thrn i read papers and recognize concepts from classes#i took years ago and im like. fucking y cant i know what i know? my head feels so empty but info is in there somewhere#its just so fucking frustrating that i love understanding systems so much. complex annoying little systems that fit together like a puzzle#and my fucking brain refuses to accept the information im trying to get in there. so i return to a remark left on my dyslexia assignment:#intelligent when not constrained by language or time. thanks. unfortunately language is how ppl communicate#also i freak out under time pressure lol. anyway ive just been reading papers for fun this weekend and remembering y i dont: bc its agony#but also i fucking love the concepts so much and i need a good understanding of photosynthesis before August when i join a photosynthesis#lab lmao. ugh. i love learning but my brain was not buildmt#built for it. if only if only someone could podcast about the obscure things im interested in while reading directly from the source#unrelated#also its like 105 degrees plus. its too fucking hot out#thats like 40 degrees C. the sun is like a death ray
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milo-is-rambling · 1 year
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Chronic pain really got me going to bed before it’s even dark out (also my little pink unicorn lights Millie got me look so cool in the second pic)
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#my back and shoulder are killing me and I’ve done nothing but smoke weed and stretch and I just hurt so bad#so I’m gonna go to bed and hopefully feel better tomorrow#I work at nine again tomorrow so if anything hopefully going to bed early helps that#I’m excited to sleep hopefully a lot and hopefully really well bc 1) weed. 2) took sleepy cough meds to try and mooch extra pain reliever#out of meds in my cabinet. 3) took a back and muscle pain Aleve (even tho I hate taking pills and it took me like three whole min to get it#down my fucking throat. 4) tired from actually using my brain and anxiety from work tired#5) period tired and chronic pain tired#like guys my brain and my body are both exhausted and the idea of getting up tomorrow and doing any of it again makes me miserable and I did#nothing but sit at a computer for three and a half hours that’s itttttt#like doing two week road-trip then non stop either emotional or physical shit every day until my first day at work#like I’m already setting myself up for this to be the summer of the grind#gonna make a bunch of money (and spend too much and blame it on the summer time and needing a little treat every time I venture out into the#heat or work a day or do anything at all) and then save a bunch all fall winter spring and once it gets colder and I feel like I can handle#my job more I want to focus on how to make moving out happen. like I need to figure out if maybe there’s somewhere I want to live that has#an Office Depot I could transfer to cause office depots are everywhere and maybe that’s an added way for me to figure out where I want to#move#hmmm okay I’m gonna lay in bed on google maps looking at Office Depot locations in New England and I’m just gonna daydream and try to fall#asleep and I’ll look at / add to my Pinterest board of house and apartment inspo#going to think about the future because I want to live !!!!#anyways yeah this is the summer of being miserable and spending all my money on bullshit and daydreaming and disappointing my mother#and also the summer of my weed tolerance doubling forever until I’m back to smoking constantly to the point where I’m making myself sick and#then I’ll get sick of smoking weed for a bit and that’ll lead me into saving money again#or force me into a tolerance break where I stop buying weed#either way I’m going to smoke all summer it’s gonna be weed and sweat and fresh fruit and laying in my room during all of my days off and it#it’s gonna suck and I’m gonna be thinking about my dad the whole time and it’ll be depressing and isolating and lonely and I’ll come out of#the summer recentered and motivated towards big goals again like I always am#and then I’ll crash and burn next spring as always. cycles continue forever thank u seasonal depression.#I want to grow up and mature in the ways I deal with myself my health and advocating for my mental health I feel like I need to grow up a#bit so I hope I do that and it feels good. I hope I make friends and I can daydream about the future every night and my room will smell like#weed and incense and sweat and love and tears and it will be incredible
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#okay rant time lol. spoilers for 6x18#i think i will have to say that this may have been my least favourite of all 6b episodes#haha ik i should probably give myself time to process the episode but idk i'd rather just write everything out#i just. just yesterday i was complaining about some people treating 911 like it's the buck show and today... it was the buck show?#and like! an episode being extra focused on one character is absolutely fine!! great even!! i really enjoyed 6x11!!#but in the season finale you expect each character to get a more equitable amount of focus right?#and like. even 4x14 which had a significantly less focus on eddie than one might expect had the will scene#and maddie had a bit less focus in that episode too but even she quit her job and it was obvious she was Going Through Stuff#and these slightly restricted screentimes gave jumping off points for their respective very spectacular s5 arcs#but this episode? like it wasn't that it didn't focus on other characters but it was mostly buck#and... idk man it does make sense given that he had the longest running plotlines this season but also#i just wish we had focused more on other characters as well#and like? as for buck? the couch?#i'll be honest i'm disappointed they introduced romance this season for buck at all when the season began with him choosing to be single#i really thought he wouldn't date at all for this one season at least yk?#and yeah ik we live in an amatonormative world but cmooon a guy can have his happy ending without getting together with someone#also bucktalia feels a little odd to me rn especially given the number of false starts they had#if they'd done this exact same storyline but at the beginning of next season i'd probably love it... right now tho i'm very meh over it#as in there is potential but it's like... idk mannnn why do we need him to end up with someone at allllll... i'm too aro for this shit#starting something new this close to the end of the season instead of tying off the two arcs that were already ongoing for him#was certainly a choice#aah well. at least natalia seems good for him. she came back which is the most important thing buck would want in a partner right?#still tho. i really wish we'd gotten to know more about the new henren baby than we did#i wish we'd gotten to see madney discussing plans instead of just the exact moment where they decide they want to marry on the patio#i wish we'd gotten the entire conversation that lead up to chris hyping (or snarking at) eddie to call marisol#i wish we'd gotten bathena hurriedly packing for their trip and may making fun of them as she helps#i just wish we'd gotten more of others!!#oh well. at least we still got chimney time and captain hen and cheddie working together and hen and eddie leaning on each other#you win some you lose some i guess#anyways if you actually read all the way til down here thank you for your time hehe
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hplonesomeart · 2 months
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Heyyy to ease my nerves I decided to pull myself out of a self imposed state of (possibly? Maybe? Not too sure but it sure feels like) executive dysfunction and instead of staring at my animation program sitting in my lingering dread for several more hours, I did a little SONG COVER YEAHHHHH!!!! FUN SILLY SONG THERAPYYYYYY <3
Okay but this is also kinda a way to trick my mind into being complacent for a bit? Because thing is I would rather be stuck watching the same Mr. Puzzles clip compilation again and again then focus on animating the A Hat In Time project. Here’s the difficulties making it harder and harder for me to stay motivated and work; Last month was Artfight so I’m burned out from drawing, the part I’m stuck animating on is uninteresting to me and it’s frustrating that it doesn’t even look good, and THEN you’ve got the part of my mind going “lol hey we should animate Mr. Puzzles to All Eyes On Me-“ which in turn causes me to break down because NO, NO WE CAN’T DO THAT RIGHT NOW AHAHAH ARE YOU INSANE. If I start another animation project on TOP of what I’m SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING ON that’s called procrastinating and it’s making everything HARDER AAAAAA. So what’s better then starting a whole new animation project? Singing about the idea instead so I’ll feel content and be able to keep focusing on what I actually need to. Everyone wins! :3
…..anyways sorry to those who just recently came to my blog. I promise I’m not always this unhinged in my posts, I hope I don’t scare you away. Just been a lot on my mind recently. I like writing/talking to myself to get feelings and thoughts outta the system so please don’t take it all too seriously. Just helping myself process information is all :D
So enjoy the very unorganized song cover while I try to get better at time management skills
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catboybrain · 9 months
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part of my soul dies every time i spend more than $100 on anything ever. but the plus side is i get a one piece cover for a type of journal im going 2 fall in love with and use all my life so thats a fair trade itll help grow my soul back
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angeltism · 1 year
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this doesn't feel fair
#➳ valentin vents#so much i could say. not that there's a point in saying anything. but also not that that's ever stopped me.#i knew it'd end. i knew i wouldn't be able to handle staying friends. but it still feels unfair.#i keep cycling through ''i am literally so chill i am vibing'' - ''ok i'm kinda sad but thats ok'' n ''throbbing chest pain why why why''#i don't know what i want. i can't think of a solution to feeling this way. all i can do is wait but i want to feel better now.#there was no way to fix things as there was nothing to be fixed.#but it still hurts. i'm still jealous. that's all i'm good at being.#i'm sad but i don't know why i'm sad. if i stop and really think i should only be a little sad.#i want to be angry but there's nobody to reasonably be angry at. nobody's done anything wrong.#i can only imagine how i'm the only one feeling this way lmao#maybe that's another of my ''source my anxiety told me'' thoughts but#i also just can't imagine why someone would actually be upset no longer having me in their life?#especially when there's other beings. there's someone else. there always has been.#i don't even know what i wantttt#i don't want to date again. bad idea. i'm too scared. i need to recover. i should focus on myself.#but i don't want to be alone. it's terrible.#i don't regret anything. i think. it's not like with my abuser where i regret each and every thing.#it was a good thing. if nothing else i know more about my needs. i know how to have courage to bring up issues.#i know when it's time to stop trying and to let go. i guess.#idk oh my god this is a fucking novel#again heyy could be worse. if uu think this is annoying ya'll should've seen me while i was w my abuser JDJFKJDNJD#i'd literally vent like every day abt him. which honestly fair he gave me a lot of trust issues. but rip to everybun who knew me in 2022 fr#* ok i have realized it's like. the exact same so far bc i've kept venting abt this LMFAOOO but uhh.#the venting back then was MUCH more colorfully worded and often. and less somber more ''i fucking hate c's guts i want that [insults] DEAD'#and like every 30 minutes. at least ya'll r getting pauses between my annoying ass posts HJDHJFH
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transgaysex · 1 year
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i know i would be a vastly different person if i didnt have to deal with hyper-empathy. i know i probably have things that i benefit from by being too empathetic. but its very hard not to wonder how happier i would be if i just didnt have to deal with that.
#wind howls#google search when do i stop caring about my parents happiness and start working towards my own ?#that just seems like such a mild example but i cannot overstate how deeply the thought is poisoning me.#i. dont necessarily envy having no empathy. some of my very dearly beloved homies have little empathy and-#i know how that can cause trouble for them ! i do not envy that. i just wish i could care about things a normal amount.#i also wish that like. hyper empathy was seen just a tad more seriously. i get that theres clowns out there who claim to be empaths and#whatever other bullshit they tried to pull off either for jokester purposes or to scam people. like i get that#its just so unfun when its on a clinical level. it feels like i am being haunted by everyone around me.#when do i start caring about what i feel ? when do i start caring about my own happiness ? maybe thats part of why im suffocating so much#god i need to move out. its going to cause me so much pain to move out. its going to hurt and relieve my parents when i move out.#theyre going to be so proud of me. theyre going to be devastated. its hard enough knowing that us immigrating here caused-#my maternal grandpa to develop diabetes from how heartbroken he was. i am so afraid to cause them pain. i know theyre not happy here.#what am i supposed to do ? when do i start living my life for myself ? is it when i move out ? is it when my parents pass ? i#dont even want to think about that. the paranoia from that already makes me feel ill on a good day.#i dont know how to remedy to myself. i feel sick and sad. i would like to know what it feels like to live for just myself alone someday#wurgh.#until then. i have editing class and drawing class tomorrow. ill try to focus on that for now.
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#I forgot about the mid year postpartum identity crisis#I thought I wouldn’t feel this way again since the ppa/ppd weren’t so prevalent this time#if anything my experience having 3 children has been easier than just one or two overall#my third baby fits into our family so well it’s hard to believe she hasn’t always been here#she’s very funny and she has such a big personality already even at 7 months#it’s been so much fun watching them grow and learn how to get along that I forgot about what it is that makes the first year hard#yes having a newborn is difficult but this is different#I had 20 minutes away from my children for the first time in almost two months today#my mom needed me to pick something up from the store for her real quick#and as soon as I was alone I was inundated with the Bad Thoughts#it felt really out of place though so I took a step back to figure out why it was happening#and it’s because I pour everything I have into my children#I have nothing left for me#if I’m away from them it’s like I don’t exist#it’s weird and kinda scary tbh#and as soon as I walked back into the house I was back to mommy mode and fine again#but man#that was eye opening#at least I know what’s happening this time though#and I think I just need to focus on being by myself a little more if possible#once she turns one things will start to even out and I’ll start feeling normal again#i know this because it’s happened twice before so I’m not scared anymore#it just sucks because I’m finding myself really looking forward to that time#but not wanting her to be a year old yet#she’s already pulling herself up to stand 🥺#she’s ahead of schedule#she wants to be like her brother and sister so bad#I can tell it frustrates her to not be able to play with them all the time or eat everything they eat#she hates being a baby#but she’s my last baby 🥺 I don’t want to wish this time with her away
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heavenangelly · 3 months
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Knowing everything about the law but not being able to apply it/manifest
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The lotus: The lotus flower symbolizes rising from a dark place into beauty and rebirth, as this is precisely how a lotus flower grows. The lotus symbolizes the human Spiritual potential of transformation to the True (Divine) Self. -Google
I’m sure some of the people in this community, myself included, have learnt everything there is to possibly know about the law. You may even have notes and screenshots. But regardless of this, you just cannot apply. You want to change but you stay the same.
Why is this?
1. You lack belief in yourself. You love reading the posts, getting the short burst of motivation, getting ready to apply and change self, and then deflate when you see the 3d. So you consume and consume to get that feeling again, only to fall into the same cycle. You don’t think you can do it and you place the 3d on the pedestal, thinking that it is more real than imagination. You put your desires above you, hopeless that you’ll ever get them.
2. You don’t feel the burning desire to change; to be different. Some people may be lukewarm about their desires. They want it but they don’t want it enough to do something about it. Personally, when I want something really bad, I’d do anything in my power to have it. I’m burning with passion to get it, and in this case it would be to accept it and stay in that state. You have to want to be different. You have to feel like you’re burning with need to get what you want. You have to really want it. And this will act like a final push. You’d be dedicated and passionate about it. And if you’re not like that, if you are lukewarm, reevaluate why you want that thing. Fall back in love with it and actually having it instead of seeing it above you and unattainable.
3. Do you actually want it? You may feel a little resistance or dread towards your “desire” because it’s not something you actually want. It may be something that society has made you think you want. Go deep within and ask yourself if that’s actually something you want. Spend some time with yourself and see if it resonates with you, If you burn with passion for it. It doesn’t matter if society says you need it, this is YOUR reality and you decide if you need it or not.
How do I get out of this cycle?
1. Create a formula for how you’re going to manifest your desires. Take a few screenshots of your absolute favourite posts (5 posts maximum) that will remind you of how the law works and possibly motivate you. Put those in a note along with your formula
2. Now that you have created that, GET OFF OF TUMBLR. Do NOT consume anymore content. You know this shit. If you really need to, reread your screenshots and formula.
3. Constantly go back to your screenshots and formula if you doubt. If you have any questions, try to answer them yourself. You do know the law after all.
4. Try to have an end goal in mind. Like a routine you do everyday regarding manifestation or a time frame that will help you stay disciplined and motivated (but DO NOT focus too much on these things, focus more on fulfilment.) Do methods or anything you want, as long as you feel FULFILMENT it doesn’t matter what you do.
5. Have FUN. Do not make the law a chore for you. It’s so fun if you do the things you love and actually want to manifest and are dedicated to getting what you want, regardless of everything.
Reminder: Failure doesn’t exist. You can only “fail” if you stop persisting.
I really hope this post helped some of you, and I hope you take this to heart. You don’t have to live a life of cycles anymore if you don’t want to. Remember, you always choose what state you’re in. You’re always choosing to be something, to continue being something, to manifest something. Become unstoppable and undefeatable. You deserve this. I believe in you, now believe in yourself.
Now become like the lotus flower.
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