#I work at nine again tomorrow so if anything hopefully going to bed early helps that

[milo-is-rambling]

Chronic pain really got me going to bed before it’s even dark out (also my little pink unicorn lights Millie got me look so cool in the second pic)

[themetaphorgirl]

listen I just wanted to write something quick and whumpy with either Spencer Blake or Patron Saint and this happened

(I might still write something quick and whumpy for Patron Saint, though)

----------

Alex was just grateful that she was working in the office when she got the call from Spencer’s school, and not working in a strange police department halfway across the country. And she was grateful that Hotch didn’t even bat an eye when she told him she needed to leave work a little early. The last time they’d gotten the call, she was on the jet headed towards Texas and James had been the one to pick up their sick child. She’d been quietly stressed the whole time she was gone and already worrying about what would happen the next time if she wasn’t there.

The school secretary buzzed her into the office and walked her down the hall to the nurse’s office. “Ethan isn’t the first child to come down sick today, I think the nurse is with one of the third graders,” the secretary said. “I’ll get you signed out.”

Alex barely heard her. Her son was sitting by himself, hunched over a trash can. He was too short for his feet to reach the ground and his arms were wrapped tight around his middle. “Hi, baby,” she said softly as she knelt beside him and brushed his hair back from his forehead. “You’re feeling pretty awful, huh?”

Spencer jumped. “Mama?” he said, his voice raspy.

“Yeah, honey, I’m here,” she said. She touched the back of her hand to his forehead. “Oh, you’re burning up.”

“Are you mad?” Spencer blurted out.

Alex leaned back so he could see her better. “Of course not,” she said firmly.

“But you were at work,” he said. “You left work early. Did Uncle Aaron say it was okay?”

“He most certainly did,” Alex reassured him. “And he said he’s sorry that you’re sick, and that he hopes you get better soon.” Spencer didn’t seem reassured. “Let’s get you home, okay?”

She slung the strap of his backpack over her shoulder and picked him up. “I can walk,” he protested.

“I’m sure you can, but I would really like to carry you right now,” she said.

The school secretary held out a clipboard, Alex adjusted Spencer’s weight on her hip and signed her name .”All right, Dr. Blake, you’re all set,” she said. “Feel better soon, Ethan, okay?”

Spencer leaned his head on her shoulder as she carried him out. “Are you sure you don’t want me to walk?” he asked.

“I’m sure,” she said. She kissed his temple as she walked outside. It was a gloomy, overcast day, threatening to rain at any second- hopefully they could make it home before it started raining in earnest. She wrestled the back door open and lifted Spencer into his booster seat. “How are you feeling?”

“Bad,” he said in a small voice.

Alex frowned in sympathy as she buckled him in and set his backpack on the floor. “I’m so sorry, darling,” she said. “We’ll go home and you can go right to bed, okay?”

He dropped his chin to his chest and didn’t answer her. She pulled a plastic bag from the back of the seat and placed it beside him- just in case- before closing the door.

The drive home was quiet but thankfully uneventful. Spencer’s paper-thin immune system meant he got sick a lot more often than the average nine-year-old, and more than once they’d been caught off guard by him throwing up unexpectedly. But they made it home without incident, and she parked in the garage without Spencer making a sound the whole ride.

Alex picked up his backpack and her work bag. “You look so tired,” she said as he fumbled for the seatbelt. “Do you want to go take a nap?”

“I’ve got homework,” he said. She tried to pick him up, but he slipped past her, catching himself against the side of the car. Alex bit back a sigh and followed him into the house. James loved pointing out that he took after her in so many ways, but particularly her stubbornness.

She turned off the alarm and locked the door behind them before flipping the lights on and setting their bags down on the kitchen floor. “Go get out of your uniform, darling, you’ll be more comfortable,” she said. “Do you want to take a bath or a shower? I’m sure you feel pretty gross.”

Spencer rubbed his eyes. “I have homework,” he repeated. “I’ll...I’ll do that first. So it’ll be ready for tomorrow.”

“I don’t think you’re going to school tomorrow,” she said. “You have to be fever-free for twenty-four hours.” Spencer’s lower lip wobbled. “What’s wrong?”

“You have work tomorrow,” he said. “And Dad has work tomorrow.”

“So?” she said. “Tomorrow’s a Georgetown day. I can work from home, and my TA can cover the rest.” This didn’t seem to reassure Spencer. He stood in the middle of the kitchen in his rumpled school uniform, pale except for the fever flush on his cheeks, and he barely swallowed down a little sniffle. Alex knelt down beside him and took his hands; he avoided looking at her. “What are you thinking? What’s got you so upset?”

“I don’t want you to be mad at me,” he whispered. He tried to pull his hands out of her grip. “I could’ve stayed at school. I can go tomorrow. I can.”

A tear rolled down his cheek. Alex held his hands tightly, rubbing her thumbs over his fingers. “Spencer,” she said. “Do you know what my first thought was when the school called me and said you threw up?” He shook his head. “I was relieved that this time I was home, and I could be the one to come get you. I was so upset last time when I was out of state with the team and I couldn’t be home. I worried the whole time.”

“I can take care of myself,” he protested, his words catching in a little hiccup.

She was quiet for a moment, trying to put her thoughts in order. “I know,” she said softly. “I know you can take care of yourself.” She ran her thumb gently over his thin fingers, thinking back to the filthy, cluttered apartment with no power and no food in the refrigerator. “But just because you can take care of yourself doesn’t mean you should.”

Spencer nodded, but he still wasn’t meeting her eyes. Alex tugged him closer until he allowed her to pull him into a hug, his arms around her neck and his chin on her shoulder. “I want to take care of you, okay?” she said. “I love you. And Daddy loves you. And nobody is mad at you, especially for being sick. We could never be mad at you.” She kissed him on the cheek. “Okay?”

“Okay,” he whispered.

She stayed there for a moment, rubbing his back gently. After a while he melted into her, seeking comfort, and she hugged him tighter. There was so little he’d told her about his life before she and James brought him home, but she was more than adept at reading between the lines, and she knew they needed to make up for nine years’ worth of rejection and neglect.

Alex kissed his cheek and straightened up, still holding him. “How do you feel now about taking a nap?” she asked.

He tucked his head under her chin. “I’m tired,” he said. It wasn’t a full surrender, but it was something.

“I thought you might be,” she said softly. “Come on, let’s get you changed.”

She carried him up the stairs to his bedroom and set him down on his bed. He was still quiet, but it seemed like he’d listened to her, and he didn’t fight as she helped him out of his uniform and into his pajamas. She pulled back the covers so he could lie down, handed him his favorite blanket, and tucked him in. “I’m going to grab the thermometer, I’m sure Dad will want to know how you’re doing,” she said. She picked up the trash can beside his desk and placed it on the floor beside his bed, then bent to kiss his hot forehead. “I’ll be right back.”

Alex dialed James’s number as she walked down the hall to her room and he picked up on the second ring. “Hey, did you get the baby?” he asked.

“I’ve got him,” she said as she kicked off her shoes. “He’s miserable, but he’s in bed. I’m about to take his temperature.”

“Good,” James said. “Has he thrown up again?”

“No, which means he’s probably about to throw up any second now,” Alex said as she pulled off her jacket and left it on her dresser. “He also keeps insisting that he has homework to do, and that he’s going to school tomorrow.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s not happening,” James said. “Do I need to come home early?”

“No, no, I’ve got it,” Alex said. She pulled the thermometer out of the bathroom cabinet. “It’s just a stomach bug. Nothing too terrible, as far as I can tell.” She paused. “But I’ll let you know if anything changes.”

“Sounds good. Can I talk to him?”

Alex walked back to Spencer’s room. “Spencer, do you want to talk to Dad?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Spencer said, struggling to sit up.

Alex switched the phone to speaker and placed the phone in Spencer’s hand. “Hey, James, you’re on speaker,” she said.

“Hi, buddy, how are you feeling?” James asked

“I’m okay,” Spencer said, balancing the phone in both hands. Alex switched on the thermometer and set in his ear. “Mama came to get me from school.”

“That’s good,” James said. “And I’ll be home in a few hours too. What’s bothering you? Just throwing up?”

“My head hurts,” Spencer admitted.

The thermometer beeped. “His fever is at a hundred and one point two,” Alex said, setting the thermometer on the nightstand.

“Oh, that’s no good,” James said. “Kiddo, you stay in bed and rest, and Mama will take good care of you, okay? And I’ll be home soon.”

“Okay,” Spencer echoed.

“Lex, call me if anything changes,” James said. “If you need to bring him in just give me the head’s up and I’ll be ready.”

Spencer looked up at Alex in a panic. “I think we’ll be okay,” she said, running her hand over Spencer’s hair. “I’ll talk to you soon. Love you.”

“Love you too,” James said. “Feel better, kiddo, I’ll be home soon.”

Alex ended the call and set the phone down on the nightstand. “Will I have to go to the emergency room?” Spencer asked, hazel eyes wide.

“I don’t think so,” she said, kissing the top of his head. “I’m going to get you some medicine and something to drink. I’ll be right back.”

He took the medicine without protest, but he couldn’t manage more than a few sips of the gatorade she brought him. She didn’t try to force him. Instead she took the cup from him and used a cool damp washcloth to wipe at his face and neck. “Does that help?” she asked.

He rubbed his eyes. “I wanna take a nap,” he said.

“All right, baby,” she said. “Lie down, get comfy.” He didn’t move. “What’s wrong?”

“Can you stay with me, please?” he asked.

Her heart squeezed in her chest. “Of course,” she said softly.

He shifted enough to make room for her and she laid down beside him, tugging him close to cuddle into her side with his head on her chest. She pulled the covers up around him and pressed his blanket into his hand. “Is that better?” she asked.

“Uh-huh,” he said.

He stuck his thumb in his mouth as she leaned back against the pillows and started running her fingers through his hair. “I’m right here,” she told him. “I won’t go anywhere. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

Spencer exhaled, his eyes sliding shut, and he snuggled closer. Alex kissed the top of his head and hummed softly. Slowly his breathing began to even out and deepen into little baby snores, his thumb slipping a little bit from his mouth. He was too warm and a little heavy, but she didn’t want to be anywhere else. So she held him while he slept, keeping him safe and waiting for him to wake up.

[hunflowers]

Skating Lessons

Word Count: 15k

Requested? Nope, but you always can here :)

Mood board

A/N: She is here! She was a doozy to write but I love her so much and I hope you do too <3 Enjoy babydaddy!Harry, and if you do (or if you don’t) throw some feedback my way, really helps a girl out y’know. *nose boops*

“Y/N!”

It was the voice she hated hearing. The voice she despised. The voice that brought her stress more than anything else in her life.

The voice of her landlord. Old Man Chris as she likes to call him. He was the typical stingy, grumpy old man that owned a small little apartment and hardly gave the young girl room to breathe when it came to rent money.

She always gave her money, albeit sometimes a day or two late, but that didn’t change the fact that she still gave him his expected money. This time was a little different however, seeing how she was already a week late, and at this rate going on to be two weeks late.

But, she was so close to giving him the money, plus a little extra to hold her over for next month. All Y/N needed was a few more days. Money had been very tight this past month for reasons she’d rather not discuss with Chris, and she knows she’s in the wrong, but she will get him that money.

Flipping onto her stomach in bed, Y/N holds her pillow over her head to try and drown out the incessant pounding on her front door. It was most likely just past seven in the morning, and Y/N had a very long day yesterday, so all she wanted to do was sleep away her worries for just a little while longer. Clearly, Old Man Chris had different intentions.

Y/N let out a very guttural groan as she threw off her blanket, slid her feet into her fluffy slippers, and wrapped her robe around her body before stomping to the door with a faux smile plastered across her face.

“Morning Chris,” she chirped, looking eye to eye with the man who looked like he was ready to stab her. Although he seemed like a miserable old man, he wasn’t always so bad. When the two met, Y/N was in a much darker place than she is now. Chris has children of his own so when he saw how desperate she was for help, his heart yearned for her.

It was a love-hate relationship the two shared.

“Is there something I can do for you, so early in the morning?”

He gave Y/N that knowing look that she had seen every month that she’s lived here. The look that said you know why I’m here, now hand it over. And in return, every time, she gave him that sheepish smile.

“Y/N, I can’t let this go on any further.”

“Chris, please, you don’t understand. I promise just a few more days,” she begged, clasping her hands together and bringing them up to her chin. He sighed, shaking his head and placing his hands on his hips as he looked down to the floor. She had a soft spot in his heart, so it was always so difficult for him to put his foot down, but he couldn’t let this go on any further.

He looked back up at her, noticing the way she pouted her bottom lip just like how his daughter does when she wants something. It’s hard for him to say no. “You have until Sunday, Y/N. I mean it. I can’t accept this anymore. Don’t pay your rent on the fifteenth, and I’m kicking you out.”

Y/N nodded her head graciously, not knowing whether or not to hug her landlord. He wasn’t too keen on human contact so she just gave him her brightest smile as he walked back down the stairs that led to her apartment.

It was Thursday, meaning she had two days plus the rest of today to gather up as much money as possible. One of her jobs pays tomorrow, and despite other bills she has to take out of that money, she should still have enough to get her that rent money.

Closing the door behind her, Y/N looked around at her apartment, taking in a deep breath and deciding to make herself some coffee since there was no chance she was going to be able to fall back asleep. Not that she had the choice to anyway, because she had to get downstairs as soon as possible if she wanted to keep her apartment.

By the time she managed to get the tiredness out of her system, it was a little past eight-thirty. Y/N locked her door behind her, hurriedly running downstairs and to her day job.

From nine to six, Y/N ran her ice skating lessons down at the local ice rink. And although there weren’t a lot of people that came to her for lessons, by the time six o’clock rolls around, Y/N is beyond exhausted.

But then seven comes, and she’s running to her night job as a waitress to one of the more popular restaurants in town. And by more popular, it’s a nonstop rotating door of people walking inside until it closes at midnight. But, even though it closes at midnight, that doesn’t stop the people already inside from taking their sweet time in leaving. Last night, the last group of people left at one-thirty, and they didn’t even leave a good tip. She survives off minimum wage there, and even though she’s been working there for nearly a year, a raise was out of the question. The owners hardly ever pay more than what they’re supposed to. But they’re the only ones who’ve given her a job and at this point, she had no choice but to stay.

Ann and her daughter Olivia were the first to stroll in once it was nine in the morning. They always book the first slots every Tuesday and Thursday because they both claimed to be early birds. And it was good for them, because being the first ones means they get Y/N when she’s not completely wiped out.

“Good morning, Y/N,” Olivia said happily, running up to her skate teacher and giving her a big hug. Olivia had just turned six last Thursday, and she was the most exuberant six year old Y/N had ever met. She gets it from Ann, because like Olivia, Ann always seemed to have a smile on her face.

Returning the hug, Y/N squeezed the little girl, standing up and twirling her around before placing her back down onto her tiny feet. “Good morning, Livie! Let’s get started shall we?”

❊ ❊

It was almost five, and no one had booked a lesson within the last hour. Usually after school gets a bit busier, but of course, when Y/N really needs it to get busy, it doesn’t, leaving her to sulk around for an hour as she thinks of what she has to cut from her budget for the upcoming months.

As the sun sets, Y/N decides to cut time early, to give herself that extra ten minutes to herself in bed before she heads off to her second job. When she sits on a bench to unlace her skates, she hears the door to the rink open. Turning around to see whoever walked in, for a split second, the breath is taken out of Y/N’s lungs as she sees the most handsome man standing before her and the small girl clinging to his leg.

But, just for a split second.

Gaining her composure, Y/N puts on her best smile as they made eye contact, yanking the skate off her foot. “Are you Y/N?”

A little taken aback by the question, since she didn’t expect this fine man to be there for her, she could only nod her head in response. “Great! I was uh – wondering if I could sign my daughter up for lessons?”

Y/N looked at the little girl, noticing the shyness as she stood mostly behind her father. She had cute, big brown eyes that matched her dark brown hair. She had a bit of pudge to her rosy cheeks and it took everything in Y/N to not reach down and give them a pinch.

Y/N was a sucker for children. Well, other people’s children. She wasn’t so sure she wanted any herself. Too many things were bound to go wrong if she had a child of her own and she’d rather not give that human being a fucked up life like her own if she had any say in the matter.

“Uh, yeah, of course! I always love teaching someone new. Especially if they’re as cute as her,” she gushed, making the little girl’s cheeks redden even more, and a small smile wormed its way onto her lips. Y/N took notice of the girl’s missing front tooth.

“Well,” the man looked down to his daughter, a smile of his own on his face as he reached down and picked her up into his arms, “that’s great news! Isn’t it, Abby?”

Abby nodded her head quickly but then soon stuck her head into the crevice between her father’s neck and shoulder, looking away from the woman. Soon, with enough of Y/N’s charm, Abby won’t be too shy to even look at her. That’ll be one of Y/N’s missions, as well as teaching her how to ice skate.

“I’m Harry,” the man stated when he realized he hadn’t introduced himself properly yet. He stuck out his hand, waiting for Y/N to grasp it in a friendly shake.

“Y/N. Do you want to sign her up for private lessons? Or group ones? Or both?”

Then they worked out the logistics of when Abby was going to come in for her lessons, the answer being at noon every Monday, Wednesday for her private lessons, and Saturday with a group around her same beginner level.

When everything was settled, including the pricing for the private and group lessons, Y/N took notice of the time and that twenty minutes had passed. She cursed herself mentally, because instead of gaining an extra ten minutes of rest, she now lost ten. She lost time as her and Harry made small conversation over Abby’s sudden need to figure skate and how they had to go searching immediately. The entire time Abby stayed quiet though, hardly lifting her head from her father’s shoulder.

When Y/N escorted the pair out of the rink, Abby quickly glanced at her before ducking her head back out of sight. For some reason, Y/N found the little girl very interesting - not to mention adorable - so she couldn’t wait for Saturday to see her again and hopefully work the girl into warming up to her. Also wouldn’t mind seeing her father again. Although, Y/N did have this lingering thought in the back of her mind that he surely was off limits, because he has a daughter who has a mother, and that mother is probably his wife or fiancee or girlfriend, whatever the case may be. But, Y/N did take notice that he wasn’t wearing a wedding band. Again, not that that means anything, because he could have a girlfriend, or maybe he forgot to put it on today.

So, Y/N pushed all intimate thoughts to the back of her mind because she deemed it useless, and didn’t want to get her hopes up.

Plus, she had a lot bigger, more pressing issues to think about.

When they finally started to separate, their small talk diminishing, a new voice spoke up for the first time that evening. “Daddy?”

Harry quickly looked to his daughter who squeaked out the soft call, raising his eyebrows in surprise, not expecting her to say anything in front of the stranger. “Yes, baby?”

“We get food now?”

Even her voice had Y/N swooning and wanting to coo at the girl. Abby was just that cute.

Then they officially parted ways, not before Harry spoke the words We’ll see you Saturday that had Y/N’s heart pick up pace for whatever reason. We’ll see you Saturday. We’ll see you.

We’ll.

Y/N can’t remember the last time something so trivial made her happy to see the next day. It was stupid, honestly, because why would something so small from someone so irrelevant in her life, make her this excited?

Only time would tell.

And clearly it made a bigger impact on her than she had intended. Because the moment she stepped into her restaurant for the night, her coworker, Kelly, who she likes to think of as her closest friend, immediately picked up on her brighter mood. Y/N was questioned without hesitation, because ever since Kelly met Y/N, she couldn’t help but feel bad for her because Y/N was always on the quieter side, keeping to herself and finding it difficult to open herself up to anyone who was interested. It was rare finding a genuine smile on her face, and so the fact she walked in actually happy something must’ve happened.

Y/N clearly denied because nothing did happen. All that happened was she met an extremely good looking dad with an adorable daughter and she was probably going to keep seeing them for at least a little while. It was just nice having something to look forward to lately.

“Make a move then!” Kelly continued on with their last conversation that had been interrupted.

Y/N rolled her eyes at the statement, finishing up making the bill for her last table. “That’s not gonna happen.”

“And why not?”

“He has a daughter which means there’s a mother who could be his wife or fiancée or girlfriend,” she stresses, turning to her friend with a bored look.

Kelly scoffed, “Or she’s not in the picture. Won’t know until you try.”

“Or I could save myself the embarrassment.”

“You’re the most stubborn person I’ve ever met, y’know that?”

Y/N shrugs, her chin turning towards her shoulder in a mocking manner as if to say she’s proud to hold that title. She was being stubborn but for good reason. She didn’t feel this need to want to make a move and in the end she knew nothing good would come out of it because that tended to be her luck, so she was protecting herself and saving herself from any unwarranted feelings and such.

And the idea of Harry made her sad the more she thought about it. Because being in a relationship was something she couldn’t have. It just wasn’t in her future and over the years she’s grown to get used to that. So it was best she admired from afar, because that would be the only way she could stay… happy.

❊ ❊

Saturday rolled around a lot faster than usual. During a normal week it felt like years until the weekend rolled around – not that the weekend even really mattered because it wasn’t like Y/N got to go out and have fun anymore, but the idea of it being the weekend settled her mind because that was another week down the hatch.

It was also time to finally see Harry again. Maybe she was being dramatic because she only saw him two days ago so really it wasn’t that long of a wait, but Friday’s tended to be her most crucial day and it zipped by no problem.

Her normal Saturday crowd rolled around, and so far there had been no sign of Harry strolling in with Abby. Everyone else in her beginner group had arrived and she couldn’t prolong class any longer, so with a clap of her hands and an instruction to begin the basic maneuvers she had taught them, she tried not to focus on his absence. Why sign your daughter up and not show up? If anything that was more rude than anything, but maybe something important came up and all harsh thoughts flew out of Y/N’s head.

Around fifteen minutes after class started, the familiar clanky bang to the entrance of the rink sounded as someone threw open the door, causing Y/N to glance up, seeing an out of breath father and daughter with looks of nervousness etched across their features. Y/N excused herself for a moment to greet them, giving the pair a warm smile despite all of the negativity swarming her brain.

“I’m so sorry we’re late. Something came up and I– it’s not too late right?” Harry asked worriedly as his daughter just looked up to her new teacher with the same amount of shyness as Thursday.

Y/N dismissed his worry with a simple hand gesture to reassure him, beckoning Abby to sit down so she could help her tie her skates to her feet. She was clad in these pink patterned leggings and a white sweater to keep out the cold matching with little white skates that had pink laces. Y/N could sense the excited energy emitting from her little body the moment her second skate was fastened to her foot. Standing up with Abby’s hand in her own, the two looked back to Harry as he looked beyond nervous for his daughter to touch down on the ice.

“Try not to worry, she’s in good hands. You can go and wait with the other moms over there – and by the looks of it, they seem really excited to meet you,” Y/N paused as her and Harry looked over his shoulder to the mom’s who were ogling him without even trying to hide it. Y/N couldn’t help but giggle at their overt staring, causing Harry’s cheeks to redden and for him to nervously wave at them. “Or you could always leave and come back at one-thirty.”

Harry nodded to her suggestions, taking a glance again at the woman standing around a table and still watching him. “I think… I’ll stay this time. See how her first day goes. I also don’t know how comfortable I am leaving her on her own for the first time just yet,” he rambled, running his fingers through his hair.

Y/N tried her best to hide her smile at how endearing it was to see him be so nervous for Abby, because it genuinely seemed like she was his life even if she’s only known him for a total of thirty minutes. It’s adorable. He’s adorable.

Leaving him to do as he pleases, Y/N led Abby to the rink, hand in hand, introducing her to the other children and going extra slow with her since she already missed a few lessons in regards to the other kids and what they could do already. And for her first day, Abby was doing a pretty job in getting the hang of feeling the ice and letting it glide her along. The little girl had skating in her blood, and Y/N prayed that she stuck with it because she could very easily have an inclination to the sport.

Every once in a while Y/N would look at Harry, seeing him avoiding the flock of mother’s and their constant whispering and staring at him as he stood against the edge of the rink, sometimes looking at his phone, sometimes looking at his daughter and standing upright every time she had a misstep.

That was maybe the most tumultuous and excruciatingly nerve wracking hour and fifteen minutes for Harry to ever have to sit through, even worse than medical school and interning and residency and everything else he’s gone through to get to the point he is now. Watching his daughter, his precious little girl fall on hard ice and trip over her own two feet countless times while he was helpless because he was off on the sides, was the absolute worst and he doesn’t know how he’s gonna manage this for however long she wants to do it.

When he finally got his hands on her again, he hugged her close and congratulated her on her good work for her first day, kissing her face a whole bunch of times to express how worried he was. After what seemed to be fifty kisses, Abby was shoving him away and giggling at how his stubble was scratching her face.

Y/N couldn’t help but stare at how relieved Harry was for the safe return of his daughter into her arms, all but cooing as he planted many pecks of kisses to her cheeks and nose and forehead. She also couldn’t help but wish he’d give her love and affection like that but she laughed to herself at her wishful thinking. Bidding her goodbyes to her beginner group and welcoming her more advanced, Y/N realized at the last moment that Harry and Abby had stayed behind, hoping to get one final word in before she had to go to her next group of kids. Telling her kids to get some laps in around the rink, Y/N made her way over to Harry and could immediately see how relaxed he was now.

This time, it was actually Abby to say something first. Unbeknownst to Y/N, Abby actually really liked her and couldn’t wait to see her again on Monday for her private lesson. “That was s’much fun! I’m g’na be so good my daddy thinks,” she gushed, hugging her father’s leg as she muffled her giggles against his jeans.

“You’re going to be an amazing figure skater,” Y/N responded, reaching her hand down for a high five from the little girl.

“Thank you for… not letting her get extremely hurt or anything. I’m sure my anxiety will go away soon enough,” Harry chimed in, his heart slightly fluttering at the sight of his daughter actually talking to someone without him encouraging her to do so.

“It would be strange if you weren’t nervous,” she shrugged, standing to her full height in her skates, which reached to just below his eyebrows. Turning around to see a few of the girls in their normal bickering fest, Y/N had to excuse herself to tend to her class, bidding her goodbye for the day to Harry and Abby.

And when Harry wasn’t the one to show up on Monday to drop Abby off but her nanny, Y/N couldn’t help but be disappointed. She can’t say she’s surprised since he’s an adult and probably has his own job to tend to at noon on a Monday, but as she guided Abby around the rink with simple skating motions, she wished he was standing against the rink watching them. Though it did spark a question in her, if the nanny was dropping Abby off, was it because there was no one else to look after her meaning he didn’t have a wife or at least someone who lived with him unless she too also worked which wasn’t an odd thing, but Y/N was an overthinker and maybe if she did grow the balls to ask she’d have an answer for herself and get rid of all of this underlying anxiety.

When their time was done for the day, Abby cheerfully said her goodbye, hand in hand with Natalie her nanny. And for the rest of the day, all Y/N could think about was something Abby said to her on the ice, something that sent chills down her spine that weren’t caused by the cool atmosphere of the arena. “My daddy thinks you’re pretty. I think he likes you, but y’can’t tell him I told you.”

❊ ❊

He didn’t come Wednesday either. And she was convinced he wasn’t showing up Saturday because that was just her luck. But, when he did ten minutes before the group lesson started, Y/N couldn’t suppress the smile and this overwhelming sense of relief. Relief about what? She couldn’t quite put her finger on. She figures it because she has a crush on him, and whenever anyone sees their crush it’s hard not to be happy. But that doesn’t settle well in her brain. She doesn’t like the fact that she’s happy to even see someone’s face, she shouldn’t feel this sense of relief that he’s here again, she shouldn’t be focusing on anything other than her jobs and how she was going to afford going grocery shopping this week.

Yet, she happily waved to Abby and blushed at Harry’s genuine smile towards her, immediately thinking of Abby’s declaration from Monday. She internally scolded herself for acting like a little teenager, urging her skin to make itself feel less heated.

It also didn’t help that she told Kelly about this and she had her nagging words playing in her head to just ask the poor guy if he has a girlfriend or a whoever. Abby ran to the nearest bench to remove her boots and tie her skates, which per usual she needed help from Y/N, which Y/N didn’t mind. Harry bent down near her, his hand a few inches from her knee as he picked up his daughter’s boots, their eyes quickly meeting before just as quickly disbanding, before he stood up and quickly shoved her things into an open locker.

And also as per usual, Harry’s heart couldn’t help but flutter as he watched Y/N act so domestically with his daughter, asking her about her day and tying up her skates. His eyes slowly scanned over the features over her face, taking in each little blemish that made her face hers, subconsciously smiling the moment she smiled at something Abby said. He found himself enticed by the way she held her hair back from her face with a bandana wrapped into the ponytail, and couldn’t stop himself from dragging his eyes over her sweater covered shoulders and the curves of her breasts in her shirt, stopping at where her hips sat tucked beneath her leggings.

“Daddy?” A small voice snapped him out of his daze, his face turning red in an instant at the prospect that he had just been caught staring; and he doesn’t even know for how long.

Licking his lips and darting his eyes to his feet then to his daughters face then to anywhere but her he stuttered, “Uh- yeah, love?”

“We going now,” she spoke, her eyebrows furrowing as to why he seemed so nervous.

All he could do was nod his head and purse his lips, sitting himself down on the bench to collect his thoughts. He repeatedly questioned to himself why he had to be so fucking obvious, all but smacking his forehead in embarrassment.

When she turned to walk with Abby, Y/N couldn’t help but smirk to herself as the image of Harry staring at her so intently was now permanently imprinted into her mind. He was checking her out, no doubt about it, and again that sense of relief flooded her body as she relived it over and over again. It was probably a mistake and it was probably one of those things when he just so happened to look at her when he went into deep thought about something totally not related to her, so she can’t hope it’ll happen again, but boy was it nice while it lasted.

When she was instructing everyone on today’s task and glanced over to him leaning against the outside of the rink, she noticed his eyes on her again, but told herself he was too far away to clearly depict what he was looking at and honestly he was probably only keeping his eyes on his daughter.

Because he wasn’t interested in her. Men like him don’t have interest in women like her; broken and unfixable.

It was a load of bullshit, because Y/N knew she deserved something good after all of the bad she’s faced and still currently facing, but he was just too good and someone like him could never settle for someone like her. He wore expensive clothing and his daughter was wearing one of the nicest brands of skates. He most likely had a very stable and successful career and there was no way he could settle for her, a girl who was always days late on her rent.

The unsettling reality made her jaw clench, her throat tighten up, and caused her gut to twist painfully.

If she hadn’t been put through this scenario before she’d say she would’ve broken out into sobs, but she held herself together for the time being, knowing she was going to let a few tears escape her tonight in bed. And, she’d never forgive herself for crying in front of anyone, especially the man that was the root of it.

Yet, her thoughts didn’t stop him from staring. And when she lapped around the ice, passing in front of him and watching his eyes look anywhere but her, it made her believe that maybe he was actually looking when he thought she wouldn’t notice. And suddenly she was back to rethinking before and how his light eyes fixated on her chest before trailing down the curve of her waist and stopping at her hips. It was a sight that would’ve made her knees buckle if she were standing.

When time was up for the day, Y/N let out a sigh at the thought of waiting another week to see Harry. Even if she didn’t let herself imagine a future with him, she still loved seeing his handsome face for the hour and a half they had together. She sounded so pathetic to herself, but when she saw him talking to one of the other mother’s, admiring the movement of his jawline and the dimple that would appear every once in a while on his cheek, it was safe to say she was utterly infatuated with the sight of him and she didn’t care.

Abby all but ran to her father for a hug, hobbling and struggling a little to balance herself on the blades, urging him to pick her up. Harry walked them over to the same bench from before, helping to untie the laces and hand her her boots and jacket. He was quick to notice that Y/N didn’t walk her out of the rink today, seeing her slowly gliding around in circles as she waited for her next batch of skaters to join her. His stomach dropped a little, his mind immediately wondering if he had done something wrong to warrant her unusual absence this time around. It wasn’t possible for him to have upset her anyway, he doesn’t think, so he stood up with Abby in his arms and neared the edge of the rink again, standing to where she was absentmindedly approaching as she was lost in thought.

She didn’t even realize she was about to slam into the wall if it weren’t for Harry sticking his arm out and preventing her body from colliding against the surface. Y/N quickly snapped herself back to the present, eyes going wide in shock as she put at least a foot of distance between herself and the wall, which also unlatched Harry’s arm from her waist.

“I’m – wow, I’m sorry I didn’t realize how close I was to the wall,” she apologized, scrunching her eyebrows at how she could’ve gotten so lost in her own head to not notice a wall that was approaching.

“Have nothing to be sorry for,” he shrugged in response. “Just wanted to say thanks again for watching after her,” he ticked his head at Abby.

“And to say I’ll see you next Saturday. I’m not able during the week to drop her off but I tend to have off on Saturdays. So,” he pauses for a moment, “I, uh – yeah.”

Y/N nodded her head with a small smile, opening her mouth to say she’ll see him next week but he spoke again before she had a chance to push the words up her throat. “Unless I can see you before that.”

Her eyebrows shot up to her forehead, her head slightly cocking to the side at his sentence, wondering if he was asking what she thought he was asking. And again before she had a chance to question him, he beat her to the punch again.

“That was supposed to come out a lot smoother,” he grimaced, nervously laughing to himself as even his daughter looked at him with embarrassment for him. Y/N let out a small chuckle, trying to overlook the fact he just asked her out.

Guess that answers the question if he has a girlfriend.

“Well, I don’t know. Tonight’s my only night off and tomorrow is my only morning off and I think that’s a, uh, little short notice,” her words coming out a lot more sad than she intended. But, maybe at this news he’d say forget about it and just leave her to lonesome because that’s what was best. She needed him to turn it down himself so she wouldn’t feel guilty and so neither of them would harbor any feelings they didn’t need. It would certainly become too messy and Y/N didn’t need more of a mess in her already disorganized life.

But, he didn’t take the bait.

“Tonight works!” He rushed out, hitting himself over and over again mentally as he basically radiated desperateness. “What I meant to say was, I’m available tonight if you are.”

Y/N mulled it over as quickly as she could while on the spot. She couldn’t say no, she never said no, it wasn’t her to say no but there was no way she could possibly say yes. She had to maintain her level of normalcy and that included not going on a date with Harry.

“Yeah… tonight works.”

Well shit.

❊ ❊

“Wear the blue one,” Kelly muffled through the crunch of her chips.

“You think? My boobs kind of,” she paused, aiming the camera of her phone to the shirt on the bed, toying with the dip that sat on her breasts, “Spill out of this one.”

Kelly tilted her head, not blinking at her friend, slowly nodding her head and saying, “That’s kind of the point.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, tossing her phone onto her comforter to use both hands to hook her fancier bra on and slip on the long sleeve blue cotton shirt that tied around the front in a nice bow nestled between her breasts. It felt a bit much for a first date.

But maybe he would be intimidated and put off to how she was showing herself off and wouldn’t want to be seen out with her again. She could only hope.

He insisted he pick her up for the night, and even though he was only going to see the outside of her building, she was nervous he would just smell the poor that stunk up the area. It made her gut wrench and her heart to sink at the idea of him not liking her for her money – or lack thereof, but she really was going to try and enjoy the night.

She deserves one good night.

Her black flare jeans sat snugly on her legs, reaching just up past her belly button, leaving only a sliver of stomach visible between the shirt and jeans. The skin of her chest was a whole different story seeing as how there was basically nothing there to cover her up.

Picking up her friend again to show her final look, Kelly let out a squeal again through her chips, thoroughly agreeing with the choice of attire. “He’s gonna eat you up.”

“Well, I hope not. That’d be an awkward night,” Y/N snickered, tying a black bandana into her usual ponytail.

“Well if you’re lucky he will. In the good way of course,” Kelly winked, eliciting a groan of displease from Y/N.

“Do we know where he’s taking you?”

“Mm, no, he just said to dress casual,” Y/N shrugged, slipping her feet into her flat mules. She actually was pretty satisfied with how she looked for the night, hoping it wouldn’t turn out so horrible. It’d be a shame to waste a nice outfit.

A text notification sent to her phone, alerting her that Harry would be at hers in approximately five minutes. Quick to say goodbye to Kelly and promise to tell her everything, Y/N shut her phone and took the remainder of her alone time to really sit and mentally prepare herself for what was to come.

Trying to navigate how she feels about the entire situation was a lot to take in because it’d probably been close to a year since the last time she even interacted with a male let alone go on any sort of date. She was nervous and intimidated and her anxiety was sky high. She wanted this to go right she really did, but she couldn’t push away those doubts that she would ever meet someone who actually cared about her and properly had their head on their shoulders.

When her phone sounded another notification, Y/N was quick to gather herself and run out of her apartment, giving Harry no time to come to her door even if he wanted. Spotting him standing next to a very nice Mercedes, she had this flashing image of him grimacing at just the sight of her battered front door. But, she smiled at him nonetheless, appreciating the sight of him clad in a nice pinstripe button down shirt with the first two buttons undone, and nearly salivating at the sliver of chest being exposed to her.

And to make everything just so much better, he was holding onto a bouquet of various flowers, looking nervous as ever. Especially when he saw what she was wearing. His eyes nearly popped out of his skull at the sight of her exposed chest and he hates that his cock throbbed under his jeans. “You look… stunning.”

Y/N’s cheeks heated at the compliment, her head bowing down to look at her shoes before looking back up and taking the flowers from his outstretched hands. “Not too shabby yourself, Mr. Styles. These are beautiful, thank you. I don’t even know if I have a vase,” she nervously laughed, sniffing the flowers now in her hands.

“Just, uh- give me a second to put these inside.” And then she was turning on her heel and running back upstairs to toss these on the table by her front door. She made a mental note to buy a vase the next day, all while also keeping Kelly updated on what’s going on through texting.

When she came back downstairs, Harry was still next to his car, hands in his pockets as he looked around at nothing in particular. At the sight of her returning presence, he perked up, opening his passenger door for her. Even the inside of his beautiful car, the smooth tan leather practically calling to her as she neared closer. “This is a beautiful car,” she blurted, sliding into the passenger side.

He closed the door, quickly walking to his side and hopping in, “Thank you, she’s my baby. Aside from my actual baby, that is,” he chuckled, checking his blind spot before heading out onto the road.

The car ride to wherever they were going wasn’t exactly awkward but it also wasn’t the smoothest experience of their lives. It mostly was a consistent bickering back and forth of Y/N asking where they were going. He only had a couple hours in advance to plan something if he planned anything so how much could he have possibly planned for? But, she was excited anyway because this was nice being able to go out even if it were for just one night.

After around twenty minutes of constant back and forth of laughing and stubbornness, Y/N finally saw where on earth he was driving to. And it was the fair from a few towns over that was held this time of year every year. She’d never actually been herself, but she’s heard stories about how lovely it is and her nerves suddenly started to deplete and were replaced by growing bubbles of excitement.

Y/N can’t remember the last time she had been to a fair, if ever in her life and she sort of felt like a little kid in a candy shop. The moment he parked the car and turned it off, she was quick to unlatch her seat belt and jump out of the car, eagerly hopping on the balls of her feet, waiting to get further into the fair. Harry laughed at her giddiness, holding his hand out for her to take - which she easily slid her hand into his - and led her to the ticket booth to purchase a few rounds of tickets for the rows of games and maybe a ride or two.

“I don’t even think Abby was this excited when I took her,” Harry noted, admiring how happy his date was at the sight of cotton candy and the various stuffed animals kids were holding or were still being hung up.

Y/N hardly heard Harry, silently routing for the young boy trying to win his own date a stuffed animal at the ring toss. “Sorry… I just - I don’t think I’ve ever been to a fair, so this is really nice,” she responded softly, looking up to see Harry with furrowed brows before she retracted her gaze and focused on anything but his saddened eyes.

She didn’t mean to sound so depressing. Thinking about her shitty childhood was the last thing she wanted on this night, and she certainly didn’t want whatever pity was brewing inside that head of his. But little to her knowledge, all he was thinking was how badly he wanted to make this night unforgettable for her. And how badly he wanted to get to know her.

“What do you say we start with mini golf then?” He questioned, pointing towards the miniature mini golf that only had nine holes. “Up for a little competition?”

“Up for a little loss?”

“Oh, oh, so that’s how it’s gonna be? Fine, don’t come crying to me when y’lose, darling,” he shrugged, giving the worker the desired amount of tickets before being handed two clubs and two balls, one yellow and one red.

He lost.

Quite badly too.

And Y/N was smug the entire time. But in a completely endearing way, because ultimately she felt bad at how bad he was at mini golf. It was a makeshift set up so all of the holes weren’t even difficult yet somehow Harry managed to never get below a two on his shots. And the entire time Y/N was smiling at him and poking fun, and even though the night had just begun, she didn’t want it to ever end.

And to think she almost said no.

“I should’ve figured you’d be competitive,” he scoffed, mindlessly grabbing her hand back in his as they walked to their next stop. And she didn’t mind.

“That was not me being competitive,” she laughed, pushing his shoulder gently with hers. “Trust me, you’d know when I’m being competitive.”

“If that wasn’t you being competitive, then what is?”

Y/N thought about it for a moment, wondering if it were worth opening up to him even if about this. She just knew the moment she opened her mouth he would have questions and they were all questions she never wanted to answer. But, against her better judgement, she tore down her walls just a little bit. “I’m a figure skater - or was a figure skater. I don’t take anything less than winning. But back there, I maybe messed up a few shots so you could catch up.”

“Oh, how sweet,” he feigned appreciation, bringing his free hand up to his chest as if he was deeply touched. He was about to ask her a follow up question, wondering what she meant by was a figure skater, but she pulled him to the balloon dart booth, geeking out at the little rainbow bear that was hanging above the worker.

“You should get that for Abby! Told me she doesn’t have a favorite color, and I think she’d love a rainbow bear from her daddy,” Y/N insisted, taking the correct amount of tickets from Harry and giving them to the very bored teenage girl.

“Shouldn’t I be winning you the bear?”

“You can win me another one if you want. This one is for your daughter.”

Harry knew Y/N for a total of three days essentially. And he’s spoken maybe a few sentences to her before tonight. Yet, despite the logistics, he so liked her. There was something about the girl next to him that was adamant he win the prize for his baby girl instead of her that made his heart flutter and made his mind swirl. He hardly knew her, yet he could just tell she had a heart made of gold. Every other woman he’s been on dates with over the years were always immediately turned off to the idea of him having a daughter, begging his attention to be solely on them. But not Y/N. She was embracing Abby with open arms both physically and mentally, and that was an automatic yes in his book.

Abby was his everything, his light at the end of the tunnel, his eternal sunshine. They were a package deal, and have been for the past four years. That much was clear to Y/N whenever Harry talked about her, or how his face basically lit up at any question revolving around her. He didn’t go into much detail, but Abby’s mom wasn’t particularly in the picture anymore, so it was just her and him. They were best friends and Harry wouldn’t change that for anything or anyone. And Y/N respected that a lot, absolutely loving how close they were and how much she meant to him. It was sweet and deep down made her envious, wishing she had a relationship like this with her parents.

When he finally won the little bear, he was so proud of himself and agreed that it was the perfect gift for Abby, holding onto it as they walked over to the food concession for something to eat. “I bet she’ll never get rid of it. When she’s eighty and reminiscing, she’ll pull out the bear and immediately think of you.”

“Please don’t say that; I don’t even want to think of her being five,” he shuddered, letting out fake weeps at the thought of his daughter growing up.

“What about her dating? Hm? Wanna think about that?” She teased poking his side causing him to look at her with the nastiest glare he could muster before promptly turning his head away with a huff, his chin sticking high in the air.

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry. No talk about her dating or growing up, I swear on it,” she held up her three fingers in scout honor, making him chuckle at her gesture.

“Can I say how good she’s doing in her lessons though? She has a real talent for skating, I think she should go somewhere with it,” Y/N mentioned, grabbing their drinks they ordered as he held their food and walked over to a clear table nearby. “A lot of kids her age or at her beginner level can hardly keep their balance on the ice but, Abby doesn’t need to hold the wall or my hand and that’s only after three lessons. I’m not kidding, Harry, I think she’s meant for this.”

He nodded at her words, surprised at the revelation that Abby actually liked something and was good at it. This wasn’t the first time his daughter gained interest in some hobby before turning on it just a week later. “We’ll have to see if she sticks with it.”

“Maybe you should tell her to. I just don’t want to see something potential be wasted,” she disclosed, dipping a french fry into her little cup of ketchup. Harry picked up on how strongly she felt about this, seeing her get lost in her own thoughts for a few moments before regaining her hold on reality and locking eyes on her date.

“When did you start?” He questioned, biting into the straw of his drink.

She swallowed her fry, twirling the ends of her ponytail around the pads of her fingers. “Started when I was six. It’s good that Abby started early, gives her more time to practice,” she nodded with a smile, and it was so obvious that it was a pained smile as she thought about whatever was going on in her head. And it was hard for him to not notice the obvious deflections every time he tried to ask her about herself.

“Practice for what?”

“Well… What if she can be in the Olympics one day? She’ll need as much experience as possible,” she shrugged back, her voice seeming to grow softer the more they talk about this.

“I assume the Olympics is the ultimate goal?” He wondered, his eyes dancing over the way her face slightly twitched into a frown before being masked by a laugh and bright smile.

“Uh, yeah! It’s every skater’s dream. It’s what we fight so hard for, or maybe that was just me, I don’t know, but wouldn’t it be cool to say your daughter is an Olympic skater or an Olympic medalist? Automatic dad points,” she joked lightly, her eyes hardly meeting her smile.

“Y/N did you ever… make it to the Olympics?” He wanted to ask, he felt he needed to ask, yet at the same time he knew he shouldn’t have. Immediately her fake smile dropped and a layer of sadness washed over her features, something dark flashing across her eyes as her gaze dropped to the table between them.

It’s every skater’s dream. It was her dream, her ultimate endgame, it was everything she wanted and it was within reach of her fingertips. She could practically hold the gold medal in her hand, could see the camera’s flashing, could hear the people cheering, and could feel the adrenaline pumping through her veins as she skated along the prestigious ice.

But it never came true. And it never will.

Instead she’s a part time trainer, and a part time waitress. She can hardly afford her apartment and is just barely getting by. She was just within reach of Heaven, but then she plummeted straight to Hell.

Y/N shook her head softly, eyes glossing over with a light sheen of tears, her teeth nibbling on her bottom lip to help her prevent the pesky tears from falling down her face. Her hands instinctively started tugging on the ends of her hair a little harder as she mentally beat herself up for her lost opportunity. “I, uh - had an accident,” she murmured, finally looking up to meet his stare again. There was something about him that made opening up so much easier than it usually is. Maybe it’s because he genuinely seemed curious and cared to know more about her. Y/N couldn’t exactly tell but for some reason she broke down her walls just the tiniest bit more.

“I fell on a landing at Nationals, which was my entrance to the Olympics if I ranked third or higher. I dislocated my hip and twisted my ankle and that was the end. It happened a long time ago though, I’m over it now, I’ve moved on,” she reassured with that same fake smile, taking a small bite from her burger that she’d barely had touched.

It was clear she hadn’t, but they didn’t touch upon the subject anymore.

“Anyway, what about you? What do you do?”

Harry’s main flaw - at least to him - was that he was such a nosey person. The way their conversation around her sort of just terminated abruptly did not sit well with him and that was because there was so much more to the story that she wasn’t letting on. He figures though that since this is only a first date, he can’t pry too much into her life because he doesn’t want to drive her away. Despite her being closed off about herself, he really liked her and he really didn’t want to mess this up.

“I’m a pediatric surgeon,” he spoke nonchalantly, as if it weren’t an actual big deal. But, when he looked up to see Y/N’s eyes bulging out of her head, he guessed he was wrong, it is a big deal.

“You’re a surgeon? Like Alex Karev from Grey’s Anatomy, pediatric surgeon?”

Harry laughed at the comparison. It wasn’t the first time someone brought it up. “Yeah, but a little more real.”

“That’s… Wow, that’s so cool. What made you want to do pediatrics?” She hummed, swallowing her final fry, and chasing it down with the last of her soda.

“Abby. When she was born she had a small abnormal murmur in her heart and I knew that from that moment I wanted to do everything I could for parents and their children.”

As if he wasn’t perfect enough, he just had to be a children’s doctor. It was as if he took Y/N’s heart and strangled it in love and admiration, then stomped on it and left it lying in the dirt beneath their feet. She didn’t match him on any level. She was far from successful and he was so far past it.

All Y/N could continuously think was how could this possibly work out? She was trying her best to look on the bright side, to think positive thoughts, but she just… couldn’t. Him and Abby deserved good, not broken.

The rest of their time at the fair went fairly smooth. They were happy and joyous aside from their little chat when eating and if Y/N didn’t overthink too much, she’d want to see Harry again. She was free in the morning and was tempted to ask him to breakfast or brunch or something. She didn’t want this to end, she wanted to live in this happy bubble for the rest of her life. But, she couldn’t be selfish and needed it to end. It would be good for both of them if they just put this behind them.

When Harry pulled up to the curb in front of her building, he put the car in park and was quick to run around to the other side to open her door before she could get the chance. He took her hand and helped her out leading her to the door that led to the stairway. And if it were being selfish, Y/N didn’t care as she asked him to walk her to her door.

They stood in the small hallway, right outside the old wood of apartment 2, neither of them knowing what to say. But, then in an instant, nothing needed to be said as Harry leaned forward slotting his lips against hers in a quick kiss, his hands coming to rest on the sides of her face as her hands held onto his firm shoulders.

It only lasted a few seconds, maybe five at best, but those five seconds said so much more than anything they actually spoke the entire night. Y/N knew there was no way she was going to be able to let him go, because he was the best thing to happen to her in a long time, and why should she have to give it up? Despite all of the negativity swarming around in her brain she still wanted to get to know him, and she definitely wanted to kiss him more. Maybe it would turn out to be a mistake, but what’s life without a little risk?

The moment Harry touched his lips to hers, feeling the soft plushy texture of her mouth that he had been dreaming of kissing since the moment he first laid his eyes on her hours ago, he knew he was whipped. He knew her for three days and he couldn’t imagine not being able to kiss. And maybe he was desperate or pathetic, but what’s life without a little leap of faith?

“Goodnight Harry.”

“Goodnight Y/N.”

❊ ❊

Saturday’s became their day. It was Harry’s only full day off and Y/N’s only night off, so it became convenient for their dates that have now been on every Saturday for the past two months. And ever since that first date, it was easy for them to say they’ve never been happier.

Y/N’s still trying to find her footing in this whole relationship thing, still finding it hard to believe that some like Harry could possibly like her. She was coming around though. Abby made it a point to tell her every time she saw her when her father wasn’t with her that he says hello and wishes he could be there. Then Y/N would ask her the same every time she left.

The first week after their original date, Harry had walked in with Abby, and without even thinking about it, walked up to Y/N and planted a soft kiss to her right cheek, despite the gawking eyes of the mother’s behind him. They could practically feel everyone’s eyes on them, but it was okay, because it was just a little price to pay for happiness.

That same night he took her out to dinner - at her restaurant of all places, and the entire night was a mess of embarrassment as her coworkers sent her coy looks every now and again that Harry could also very obviously see. Y/N tried to pretend that she didn’t know any of them, but when their waitress also just so happened to be Kelly of all people, it was hard to ignore. And it made for quite the conversation when she had to tell him she worked two jobs and that’s why she hardly had time to even breathe during the week.

What surprised her most when she told him of her misfortunes, was how well he listened. He didn’t seem turned off to the fact she didn’t have one singular stable job, like other men have in the past, and rather he seemed like he didn’t care at all. It was a nice change of pace for Y/N to have someone who seemed interested in her rather than just sex.

Two months had passed and the topic of sex hadn’t really been brought up either. Which again was a total shocker to Y/N since she’s so used to guys asking as soon as they meet her. Yet, the only time she and Harry had mentioned it was when they had been in his car one Saturday night, things getting a little heated as she climbed onto his lap, their mouths dancing together as their tongues lapped over one another.

The make out session wasn’t even meant to get as intense as it did, the gentle rocking of their hips together and the sloppy kisses placed on each other’s necks while her fingers tangled into the curls of his hair and his palms rested gently on her hips right over the swell of her butt, all of it wasn’t even supposed to get that far. But it felt way too good to stop.

Y/N always put her romantic life on the back burner in regards to trying to navigate her actual life instead. Having sex or finding love was something she hardly let herself think about, but when she could feel Harry’s growing erection beneath her center, she forgot how badly she wanted this. It took everything in her to separate their mouths, a trail of spit connecting their swollen lips. It was too much too fast and she wanted to take it slow. She needed to take it slow in order for it to not end just as quick as it started.

And Harry respected her wishes. He didn’t want to mess things up just as badly as her, if not more, and if she didn’t want things to go further, he had no choice but to abide by that.

That didn’t stop him from thrusting his cock into his fist that very same night as he remembered the way she slowly grinded her center against his, the texture of her velvety tongue sliding against his. Those thoughts led him to imagine how her warm mouth would feel against his bright red tip, slowly sinking down further and further until he was grazing the back of her throat.

Since that night the topic of sex hadn’t been mentioned.

When this Saturday rolled around, Y/N was beyond excited for their weekly date night. With their busy schedules it is always hard to see each other during the week no matter how hard they try to fit in some time, so the weekend was always built on a bit of excitement to see one another. And this Saturday was no different, especially since it was Y/N’s turn to plan their night.

After he and Abby left from the usual Saturday lesson, Y/N told him to meet her back at the rink around eight. It wasn’t an expensive date and it doesn’t need a far in advance planning, but this night was truly going to make or break their relationship, because it was easily going to be the most important for Y/N. She planned on opening up to him more than she had with anyone else, and she needed to do that in the comfort of her sanctuary, because  - for lack of a better term - she was shitting bricks.

As per usual Harry had arrived right on time. Measuring time had to be their biggest difference, because Y/N always felt like she had a lot more time than she really did, which resulted in her always being late for everything. Harry on the other hand was a very organized man and scheduled himself perfectly to go about his days. Yet the more time they spent with one another, the more they started to adapt to the other, Y/N not being so late anymore and Harry not being brutally early.

Though he did arrive just a minute after eight.

It was a start though.

From the time the rink closed at six, up until the moment Harry walked in the door, Y/N had been busy decorating every inch of the place, setting up their little picnic at one of the tables, stringing lights all around the rink it self, and mastering the best playlist that would be echoing around them until they leave.

Dinner consisted of Harry’s favorite chicken parmesan from her other job that he continued to rave about up until this day because it was just that good, as well as the cookie crumble dessert that had his mouth watering every time he thought about it.

When she saw him knock at the closed entryway, she took a deep breath before scurrying over to him, letting him in from the night time chill outside. They greeted each other with a soft kiss on the lips before she all but dragged him further inside. “Can you guess what we’re doing today?”

Harry’s jaw dropped in anguish, his eyes screwing shut as he whined about the impending future of their night. “Just because my daughter is a prodigy, does not mean I am,” he sighed as Y/N giggled, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as she stood on her tiptoes to try and match his eye level.

“Try not to worry, you’re in safe hands,” she spoke cooly, recalling what she once said to him about Abby. There’s a reason Abby is learning and - not to toot her own horn or anything - she wouldn’t be anywhere without Y/N coaching her through it.

So, how hard could it be to teach Harry?

The answer was very hard.

After they finished their dinner, sitting for a few minutes to let it settle within them, Y/N had to practically rip Harry off of the bench. It didn’t help that they both also had two glasses of wine coursing around in their veins, which raised Harry’s stubborn attitude from a seven to seventeen on a scale of one-to-ten.

He was nervous, that much was obvious, but if he didn’t relax everything was going to be a lot more difficult for the both of them. “Why don’t you skate your little heart out and I’ll just stay right here,” he gestured to the wall of the rink where he usually stood during Abby’s lessons.

“Where’s the fun in that? C’mon, you can even hold onto the wall. Please?” She begged, clasping her hands together under her chin as she pouted her bottom lip and giving him her best puppy dog eyes.

How was he meant to say no to that face?

Y/N must’ve gotten a few tips from Abby on how to win over Harry’s heart, because within a few moments he was caving in and ripping the pair of skates she picked out for him right out of her hands, grumbling a few not so innocent words under his breath. He sat on the nearest bench with a very exaggerated sigh, almost like a child trying to make their point that they were not happy. Y/N wonders if he took that out of Abby’s book.

Watching him trying to even stand on the thin blades was a sight in itself, and Y/N couldn’t wait to get him out on the ice. He looked sort of like a penguin as he waddled across slowly, hand clenched tightly in Y/N’s as he tried to keep his balance. “Y/N I can hardly even bloody walk on a stable surface, how d’ya think m’gonna manage on ice? It’s hard enough to walk on ice and now I’ve got skates on! I’m g’na crack my skull open,” he rambled on, throwing in a few more curses here and there. Y/N knew it was him trying to stall, but it wasn’t going to work.

“Will you relax, I won’t let you crack your skull open,” she shook her head, pushing open the gate to the rink and stepping down easily on the ice first.

The moment his first skate touched down, he almost slipped forward and almost collapsed in a split, making Y/N try her best to not break out into a heap of laughter. He grabbed onto her arm even tighter as he eased his second foot onto the slippery surface, probably leaving bruises for the next day.

“How the hell does Abby do this? M’scared shitless, hope you know,” he grumbled, trying to scoot a little past the wall, but again nearly falling on his ass.

“Hold my hand, let me pull you so you get a feel of the ice,” she contained her giggles. He was hesitant though as he stood in his place, slightly swaying back and forth as he tried to gain the courage to move his foot an inch forward.

Y/N looked at him with soft eyes, observing all of the nerves that were dancing across his features. Lacing her fingers in his, she raised her free hand to his face, getting him to look at her rather than his feet. “You trust me right?” she murmured, looking into his vibrant eyes.

He almost immediately nodded his head in response, a slight look of confusion carving into his face as his eyebrows scrunched together and his eyes flashed between hers. “Of course, why’re you asking?”

“If you don’t want to fall, I need you to trust me,” she spoke reassuringly, leaning up to place a quick peck to his lips before joining him back at his side. Harry took a deep breath in, giving her hand a squeeze before he followed in her instructions and guided along the wall at a slow pace.

Trust was obviously the most important aspect to any sort of relationship, and especially to Y/N. Through her whole life she struggled keeping trust in anyone, and she felt she spent so much of her life getting people to entrust her, yet she can’t remember trusting anyone like she trusted Harry. And it was such a refreshing feeling to see that he trusted her just the same. That’s why this night meant a lot to her, because if he could trust her with his well being and his daughter’s, then it was only right to return the favor.

After his initial fear and trepidation, Harry finally developed a basic movement that helped him in his skating endeavors. He was beginning to gain pride in himself for not falling on his ass yet. They slowly made their way around in one lap after about twenty minutes of missteps and yelps in anxiety. The biggest thing they were going to take away from this experience though was how much fun they’re having. If anything, it’s always good to look on the bright side of things and appreciate the good amongst all of the bad.

When they made it back to the gate, Harry declared that was enough for one night on his part, and couldn’t get off the ice any faster. Y/N was about to follow him, when she mulled over an idea in her head, looking back to the ice. He noticed she wasn’t trailing behind him, and wondered why she seemed stuck in her place. She looked lost in thought, looking around her as she bit her lip in concentration before finally snapping her gaze to meet his after a few calls of her name.

“Is everything oka-”

“This has been my life, my entire life. I don’t know a world outside of this and I’ve kept myself closed off for years. Before you, I don’t think I’ve been on a genuine date…  ever because I’ve always been so scared,” she rambled, pacing herself back and forth on the ice.

Harry kept quiet, standing next to the wall now, leaning his upper body down on his elbows. “I’ve been so scared of people getting to know me and my past and my fucking demons that I’ve never given myself the chance to be happy. I grew up privileged, I had - or my parents had money and I was blessed to be able to skate without having to worry about prices or anything of the sort. But, that came with a price which was my parents never letting me breathe and pushing and overworking me, telling me that since they were spending so much money on me that I couldn’t settle for less than the best.

“And I mean, I wanted to be the best anyway; everyone does. But knowing they would be disappointed if I were to get second because I was a tenth of a point behind, hurt like hell. Then, Nationals came and if I placed in the top three, I was going to the Olympics. I was the most confident I had ever been. I knew the choreography, I knew my timing, and I knew how to fucking land… but then I fell. Hard. Twisted my ankle and shattered my hip and it was safe to say I wasn’t going to Russia.”

Y/N looked to her feet and let out a mocking laugh, not even caring that a few tears managed to escape her eyes as she rehashed her past. “As soon as I was able to walk again, my parents kicked me out. Tossed me to the curb and told me to never look back. No money, no friends, no idea of what to do.”

Harry’s heart yearned for his girlfriend. He could tell she had some murky past that always kept her quiet and avoided the topic at all costs, but he never would've guessed it to be like this. He tried to butt in but she held up her hand to stop him, asking him to let her finish. He retracted himself, allowing her to continue on. Harry’s heart yearned for his girlfriend, but it also swelled in pride as she felt comfortable enough to want to share this with him.

“I find it hard to trust anyone because I’m always scared they’ll hurt me like my parents did. If my parents could treat me that way then what’s stopping anyone else?” She took a breath before inching herself closer to Harry, coming to stand right in front of him. “But… then I met you and I find it so easy to let you in, and I think that scares me more than anything. You’re the only person I’ve told this too and I’m working on opening myself up more, I am, I just - it’s gonna take some time. My heart is in your hands, Harry… and I’m begging you to please take care of it.”

Y/N finally finished, swallowing down the clump in her throat, her forehead involuntarily pressing against Harry’s as silence swarmed them. Her doors were opening and her walls were falling down and anxiety traveled up her spine as she slowly stepped out of the dark and into a world she’s never known; A world filled with comfort and happiness. If someone told her two months prior that she would be feeling like this, whatever this is, over a man that was way out of her league, she would’ve laughed in their face and tell them to kindly fuck off.

A few tortuously slow seconds passed by, tears still slowly trickling down her face that Harry took upon himself to brush away. With her doubts and self-deprecating thought process, she was sure he was going to turn around and walk out of her life, leaving her to suffer and wallow alone, just like she was used to. But, then she felt the soft press of his lips against hers, and her body broke down into a pile of tears and cries as relief flooded her.

Y/N grabbed onto his face and pulled him harder against her, their kiss filling with passion and ardor. He held her close, not letting her slip away from him as they broke apart, their foreheads resting against each other again, their noses brushing and their breaths mingling. They smiled at one another, mutually agreeing that actions speak louder than words.

“I promise, I’m gonna take care of you, Y/N.”

And then they were kissing again, this time not as intense but the adoration for one another still leaked through the seams. At this moment, right now, this is exactly where they belonged. In one another’s arms, holding on tight to that trust and pushing aside their worries.

This was all that mattered.

❊ ❊

“I know you’ve got your lavish lifestyle, so please, bear with me,” she cautioned him as she shoved the key into the lock of her apartment door. Y/N had been to his house and it was beautiful as she expected it to be. There was actual room for people to walk around and not feel like they were crowding each other.

Y/N hadn’t actually ever had anyone to her apartment, but even alone she felt crowded in the tight space. When stepping in, the door to the bathroom was on the right, and her living room / bedroom was ahead while her small kitchen and little dining table sat on the left. (this is how i imagine it to look)

The grey blue paint of the walls were chipped in certain places that Y/N has been meaning to fix but hasn’t gotten around to doing. The carpeting looked old and in a certain spot right next to the couch there was a stain from when she accidentally spilt red wine and never was able to get rid of it. A few chinese take out cartons littered her table that she never cleaned from the night before while a few random clothes were strewn about on the floor or her bed. She mentally slapped herself for not thinking ahead and cleaning up after herself, hoping he doesn’t turn around now at the pigsty of an apartment.

“I’m not always this much of a slob…” she grimaced, quickly throwing the empty cartons in the trash, smiling sheepishly at Harry.

“If I didn’t have Natalie, I’m sure my place would look a lot worse,” he brushed her off, looking around at the books she had stacked on a shelf and the small collection of CDs. “I like you, Y/N, a lot. A messy apartment won’t change that.”

Y/N took in a calming breath and nodded her head, trying not to run around and fix everything that was out of place. Instead, she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his torso from behind, and watched as he shuffled through the CDs, wondering who piqued her interest musically. Just when he was about to tell her he admired her taste, she turned his body around to face her, her soft eyes gazing up at him, lust dancing across her irises.

“Harry?” she coaxed, a hint of flirtation laced into her voice.

“Hm?”

“Can we have sex now?” she wondered, tilting her head to the side by a fraction, like a little puppy or a curious cat.

Harry’s eyes widened slightly at her forwardness, her question making him gulp in shock. They both knew this was exactly why they came here, but just thought that this was happening was enough to send a chill down his spine. His hands came up to cradle her jaw, desire flooding his veins as various images of her naked body circled around his brain, and as he could practically hear her whiney moans filling the air.

His mouth connected to hers in a fast movement, his tongue swiping across her bottom lip to allow him access to meet hers. She greedily opened her mouth, walking them over the few feet to her bed. The back of her knees met with the mattress, her almost falling over, but Harry held her up. One of his hands wrapped itself into her hair, pulling her head back and exposing her neck to him. He peppered wet kisses along the skin of her jaw, before trailing down to the collar of her sweater.

“Can I take this off?” He mumbled, tugging on the hem of the purple sweater that adorned her torso. Y/N ushered out a small ‘yes’ bringing her arms above her head as he brought it up and tossed it to the side somewhere. His eyes fixated on her chest, her breasts nestled into a black lace bra. Harry was practically salivating at the sight, immediately his mouth pressing against her chest, and he traveled down until his lips met her navel, his knees touching the soft carpet beneath them. His hands caressed her bottom, softly kneading the flesh clad in her leggings.

His eyes met back up with hers as an unspoken agreement was shared, him pulling down the soft black material as it pooled at her ankles. Soon they too were tossed aside, leaving Y/N in her matching underwear set that had Harry seeing stars. Normally, she would be nervous about someone seeing her in such a vulnerable state, but just like everything else lately, she’s never been more comforted in the presence of her lover. The way he looked at her body as if it were heaven, his eyes roaming over every inch without a look of apprehension or disgust.

Harry pushed her to lay back on the bed, keeping her feet on the ground as her knees bent at the edge. He placed a kiss on her covered pubic mound, his mouth ghosting over her pulsing core as he bit down softly into the flesh of her thigh, just next to her core. A small whimper left her mouth as he breathed a line of cool air to her heated center before sucking on her other thigh, again going right over where she wanted him most.

His fingers hooked into her panties, bringing them down her thighs, leaving her completely exposed to him as he then spread her legs wide enough for his shoulders to fit between. “So beautiful,” he purred, eyeing her wet pussy with fervor.

Then a second later he was licking a broad stripe through her folds, the tip of his tongue circling around her clit. A moan escaped her throat as she rocked her hips gently to gain more friction against his tongue. He took her legs and draped them over his shoulders as he began to mouth away at her dripping hole, gathering up all of the wetness dripping out of her. He moaned at the taste of her, the vibrations of his noises hitting against her and causing her to shiver at the sensation before a moan of her own was let out.

He reached up to hands, bringing them to his hair, urging her to tug on his curls when he dipped his tongue inside of her cunt. Y/N’s eyes rolled to the back of her head, her hands fisting his hair and pulling on his roots harshly, the sounds of their groans mixing together.

“Harry,” she cried out, her heels digging into his back as she tried to push him impossibly closer to her heat. “Shit... you’re so go-good at this.”

She could feel him smile against her from her words before licking away at her and sucking her clit into his mouth. One hand remained on her thigh, holding on tightly while his other met her pussy, one finger dipping into her and thrusting in at a slow pace. She whined as he added another finger, quickening his pace as he could feel her walls clench around his digits.

“You’re so tight, love. Can’t imagine how y’gonna feel against m’cock,” he grinned, looking up at her through his lashes, leaving one final wet kiss to her clit before removing himself from her completely, her feet falling back to the floor with a thud. She gasped at the loss of contact, eyes rushing over his figure as she tried to coax him back to her.

He giggled at her impatience, stripping himself of jeans and sweater, the bulge in his briefs looking like it hurt as it strained against the material. He palmed himself, a whimper leaving his throat before he leaned down over her and moving themselves further up the bed. He grinded his center against hers, his precum and her wetness leaving a patch of moisture at the front of his briefs. Y/N gulped at the feeling of his covered cock, measuring in her head just how big he was. She assumed he had some length and girth to him just by his aura, but she didn’t expect this big.

When he finally kicked off his underwear, his bright red tip slapping against the underbelly of his bellybutton, Y/N’s jaw all but fell off at the sheer size of him. Immediately she wondered if he was even going to fit inside her or how badly the burn of the stretch of her walls was going to be. It had been a while since she had sex, and now she was nervous.

“Are you even sure that’ll fit inside of me?” She questioned, nibbling at her bottom lip as she looked into his eyes with a little worry.

Harry pursed his lips to contain his smile, leaning down and giving her a quick kiss before whispering, “We’ll take it slow.”

They engaged themselves into a soft make out session, the final piece of clothing being her bra thrown over his shoulder, leaving the two of them completely and utterly bare and vulnerable for the other. No part of this entire night felt rushed and neither of them had this urge to just get it over with. No, instead they took their time with each other, allowing themselves to get used to this new step in their relationship. This night solidified just how serious they were about each other, and taking things slow helped that. It wasn’t about reaching that orgasm or the amazing feeling that comes with it. It was about them and how much this meant.

After he rolled a condom down his length, he positioned himself at her entrance before lacing their hands together and settling them on either side of her head. Then slowly and tenderly, Harry pushed himself in, cries of pleasure leaving their mouths as he stretched her walls. He didn’t thrust himself all the way in at one go, instead rocking his hips slightly back and forth, pushing just a little bit further each time he reentered her allowing her time to accommodate his size. When he was finally all the way in, Harry nearly passed out as her tightness squeezed around him. He stilled himself for a moment, giving her a second to breathe before he pulled back and thrusting back in with a harsher movement.

Y/N was right when she knew there was going to be a burn as her muscles widened around him, and she felt wetness prick at the corner of her eyes before she blinked them away before he could notice. She raised her head to capture his lips in a kiss, looking to distract herself as the pain slowly dissipated into pleasure. Their tongues lapped over one another as Harry quickened his pace, his hips slapping against hers in a more feverish manner. Soon enough, all Y/N could feel was immense pleasure as her once denied orgasm began to build back up.

The tip of his dick, reached so far into her that she could feel him brush against her cervix, a hazy feeling clouding her brain. When he felt her thighs tighten around his waist, and her walls began to flutter around him, he brought one of his hands to her clit, rubbing quick circles on it with his thumb. “G’na cum for me, baby? G’na let y’self go?”

Y/N moaned in response, her eyes screwing shut as he delivered a hard thrust to her special spot, her climax flooding her body quick and hard. She’s never felt herself get off that much, not knowing that she was even capable of that grand of an orgasm. The moment her body calmed down, she felt herself go into a dreamlike state as exhaustion hit her like a train. Harry continued to pound into her, working himself to his own high. Y/N quivered at her sensitivity, but urged him to continue because she wanted to see how beautiful he looks when he comes undone.

His jaw dropped open in the slightest as his abdomen clenched and his prick twitched, the familiar feeling starting in his balls shooting up through his spine before he released into the condom. A lewd string of curses fell from his lips as he gently continued to ride out his orgasm, his body completely spent as they both panted out quick breaths.

Slowly Harry removed himself, taking off the worn condom and tossing it into the garbage before joining her back in bed. “Should get cleaned up,” he muttered, still catching his breath and calming down.

“Mm,” Y/N hummed, turning herself over so her legs tangled with his and her arm draped over his sweaty torso.

Minutes went by when neither of them said anything, and Y/N was convinced he had fallen asleep as his breaths became more steady. But there was one thought on her mind that she needed to get off of her chest, because ever since they started dating it’s been eating away at her. She wanted to get it out of the way as felt her eyes getting heavier.

“Harry?”

A few moments pass before he softly answers, “Yeah?”

“What does Abby think of me? Not as her trainer but y’know… your girlfriend? She tells me how close she is with her mother and I just - I don’t know,” she shrugged, resting her chin on his chest to look up at him.

Harry looked at her, his one hand gently pushing the hair away from her eyes. “She’s the one that told me to take you on that first date.”

Y/N was shocked at this, her eyebrows shooting up at his confession. She knew the little girl liked her as her teacher and the one showing her how to skate properly, but Y/N never knew how she felt about her being the girl her father was dating. Kids don’t always understand how relationships work and Y/N feared the little girl would end up hating her since she was with Harry and her mother wasn’t. “Really?”

He nodded, “She admires you, Y/N. Yeah, she’s close with her mother but in all fairness I think she likes you more.”

“Oh, don’t say that!”

“Why not? It’s true. She can see how happy you make me and I think that’s all that matters to her,” he surmised with a shrug of his shoulders. At this, Y/N couldn’t help but smile, connecting their lips in a gentle kiss before her eyes fluttered close as she nudged her nose against his in a little eskimo kiss.

She was convinced he was her happy ending. He was the voice she loved hearing, and the person that made her life just a little stressful. And boy, she was happy Abby decided to take up skating lessons.

“You make me happy too.”

[cinnaminsvga]

🌸 social media au where y/n posts a fake boyfriend application on twitter as a dare but ends up seeking something real in the long run (aka how to fall in love the zillennial way) 🌸

A/N: I know I said this update wouldn’t be written, but I decided to fix the little drabble I already had written and... It’s not as bad as I thought and now I’m moderately happy with it. Anyway... We’re entering angst city babey so please put on your seatbelts because we are SOARING! || W.C. 1.8K

prev // part 18 of ? // next masterlist here.

[updates every 6PM PST]

After sending his last text to you, Namjoon is only slightly surprised when he sees your caller ID flashing on his phone screen. When he looks at the time, he notices that it had taken you less than a minute for you to call him, no doubt ready to scream your head off at his outrageous suggestion. Admittedly, he knows that his idea might be a little outside of your comfort zone, but he believes you can do it. If his people reading skills are even remotely average, then he’s sure that it’ll work if you just—

“KIM NAMJOON! HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU COME UP WITH THAT CONCLUSION?” Your voice is loud enough to burst an eardrum, but luckily, Namjoon had already expected your volume and had held his phone an arm away. In his nine-ish days of knowing you, he’s somewhat accustomed to your theatrics, though you’re still no match for Hoseok’s excited shrieks.

“Hello Y/N,” Namjoon hums, sitting up groggily from his bed. It’s a bit too early to go to sleep, but he supposes that your panicked screams are going to keep him up a little bit longer. “I feel as though you’re overreacting a little.”

“A little?” You scoff loudly, and Namjoon can imagine you pacing circles in your room. You did always seem a little fidgety when you two went out together. “Namjoon, you can’t just expect me to go on a date with Jungkook—“

“Why not? You guys go out all the time, don’t you?” Namjoon points out, smiling slightly at your exasperated huffs.

“Well, that’s different! Those were platonic hangouts! Just bros being bros!”

“Then change the context a little bit. You don’t have to ask him to be your boyfriend just to go on a date.”

“Namjoon, I know you’re a smart man but I don’t think your math skills are all that great,” you say brusquely. “That doesn’t add up! If I ask him on a date, then he’ll know I’m into him and—“

“And that’s a bad thing?” Namjoon interrupts, raising a brow. “Y/N, we both know you’re being a little unreasonable right now.”

You splutter for a moment, but you find that you’re unable to retort. Namjoon smirks, continuing, “Y/N, I know you’re worried that Jungkook might get swept away now that he’s quote-unquote ‘single.’ I get it. But if you’re not going do anything about it and suffer in silence, then he’s definitely going to leave. Besides, I already told you that he probably likes you back, judging from how jealous he got. You could probably even ask your friends and they’d tell you the same.”

You snort. “God, I’d rather die than talk about… love stuff with those freaks I call friends,” you cough out a laugh, muffling the sound before it can continue. Namjoon knows you’re a bit conscious of your “unflattering” snorts, but he just finds them cute. A lot of the things you don’t like about yourself are cute in Namjoon’s eyes. “I can’t even imagine going to any of them about this… They’d just bully me and make me do something I don’t want to do!”

“Isn’t that basically what I’m doing right now?” Namjoon laughs, giggling even harder when he hears your tired groan.

“Yeah, but you’re nice. Unlike those meanies,” you say. Namjoon hates to admit it, but he does appreciate being special to you, even if it’s over something trivial like this.

“You’re right. I wouldn’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do,” Namjoon starts. He can hear you humming in agreement, but he doesn’t stop there. “But, it is a suggestion. Seeing as how you don’t have any other idea how to solve this mess, I’d say go for it. What’s the worse thing that can happen?”

“Um? I get rejected? Hello?”

“You don’t have to let him know it’s a date, you know.”

“What do you mean? Namjoon, you should stop speaking in riddles because I honestly don’t have enough brain cells for this, clearly.”

Namjoon sighs. “I guess what I’m trying to say is… What if you fake date him?” When you don’t reply immediately, Namjoon is quick to keep talking. “Not that I’m asking you to stop fake dating me! What I’m trying to say is… Maybe try to rekindle the rumor that you and Jungkook are dating? He doesn’t have to know it’s a date, so long as everyone else thinks that you two are.”

“I… I guess?” You sound unsure, though Namjoon admits it’s kind of a long shot to begin with, not when you wouldn’t know the last thing about being subtle. He kind of wants to throttle you, in a gentle way. It’s honestly frustrating to see you like this, and he just wishes he could… Make the problem go away.

That would be easy. If Y/N just stopped pining after Jungkook, then he could just come in and—

His thoughts skid to a halt, nearly slapping himself to keep from going down that road again. Look at him, trying to help you with your mess when even he can’t get a handle on his own emotions. What is going on inside my head, he thinks sadly to himself.

“Listen, it’ll be really easy! All you have to do is text him and say, ‘Hey, wanna go have dinner with me tomorrow?’ but bring him somewhere nicer, perhaps? Then take a photo of him all dressed up and looking boyfriend-y and post it on Instagram. I’m sure that’ll shut people up.”

“Namjoon, I don’t know if you’re aware, but Jungkook’s definition of ‘dressing up’ is combat boots, a hoodie, and his god-awful backpack the size of Africa. He looks like a nerd.”

“I mean, you kinda dress alike…” Namjoon mutters, and he’s thankful that you don’t hear his slight slip-up. He clears his throat. “A-anyway, I’m sure it’ll be fine? I think it would be more suspicious if he wore a suit and tie or something. So long as you guys look cozy and comfy together, I’m sure people will take the hint. If worse comes to worst, I can maybe slip something to Johnny and he can retract his statement or something.”

“I hope to god that isn’t the case,” you say. Namjoon nods, before realizing you can’t even see him.

“Right. Well, I think everything should work out perfectly. Just ask him to some popular couples restaurant. Maybe the nice Italian place in Hongdae? Something more romantic, not necessarily fancy.”

There’s a pause on your end for a moment causing Namjoon to sweat a little, wondering if he might be overstepping. He does genuinely want to help you, though he hopes he isn’t actually weirding you out somehow. He’s not adept at handling love problems as much as he’s trying to appear to be, since he’s mostly using the romance novels he had read during his teen years as his sole source of reference. This is what I get for not dating for so long, Namjoon thinks, grimacing.

“Namjoon.” You break the silence, your voice quieter than before. Namjoon has to strain his ears a little, pursing his lips as he waits for your response. “Are you…”

Namjoon tilts his head. “Am I?”

Namjoon hears you hesitate, stuttering syllables over his phone speaker like you aren’t quite sure how to ask your question. “Do you remember when I asked you a few days ago if you were sure you don’t actually have a girlfriend?”

“Yeah?”

“I just… I don’t know how to say this without being weird, but I just want to say you’re great. Like,” you huff out a laugh, incredulous. “You’re just… The perfect package? You’re so kind and so sweet and it’s just? Almost mysterious how you don’t have someone special to call your own yet.”

Namjoon smiles wryly to himself, head bowed as he stares at his wrinkled bedsheets. “I suppose other people don’t feel the same way.” He tries forcing out a laugh, but it sounds a little strangled. His chest feels tight, strangely. Hopefully, you don’t notice.

“No, I highly doubt that! You’re literally the perfect guy. Any person would be lucky to have you as their boyfriend.” You sound almost indignant, like you can’t imagine anyone ever thinking badly about him. He almost wants to laugh, but he tightens his hands into fists instead, digging his nails into his palms and leaving crescents in their wake.

“Well then… I guess that makes you lucky to have me, then?” Namjoon nearly slaps his hands to his mouth, a cold tingle of embarrassment mixed with fear running down his spine. Did he really just say that— “What I mean is, erm…”

“N-no, I get you.” You’re giggling, but—is he imagining it?—you sound a little nervous to his ears. If he thinks hard enough, he can almost imagine you blushing, bottom lip trapped underneath your teeth. “I guess I am lucky to be your fake girlfriend, huh? Even for just a few weeks?”

“Yeah,” Namjoon breathes out the word, guilt washing over him like waves. Here he is, feeling things that he shouldn’t be, over a girl who was never his to begin with. There are seedlings in his chest, barely anything to write home about. But he knows—a gardener can see the garden even before the flowers have bloomed. Each day he spends with you is another day they get a chance to grow, and he’s afraid he’ll soon be overrun, unable to handle the forest that is bound to erupt. “Just a few weeks,” he echoes, unable to completely hide the sadness from his words.

“I guess I am just being melodramatic about everything, huh?” you say. It takes a moment for Namjoon to even remember what the two of you had been talking about, so caught up in his thoughts that he has to pinch himself back to reality.

“Think of it as a funny story to tell your grandkids,” Namjoon says.

You laugh, and Namjoon can feel a seedling sprout its first leaf. “Yeah. Definitely. God, I can’t even begin to think about kids… Not when I can’t even ask him out on a fucking date.”

“You can do it, Y/N.” Namjoon whispers. He flops back down onto his bed, eyes half-closed as he stares at his cracked ceiling. If he breathes quietly enough, he can hear the sounds of Seoul outside his windowpane. If he stops breathing altogether, he might be able to hear you across the city, your socked feet padding towards your bed, curling up into your own blanket.

“Thank you, Namjoon. Really.”

For what? Namjoon leaves that part unspoken. “You’re welcome,” he says instead. He drops the call, feeling a little emptier than before.

[bangtanreadingcorner]

rumor has it [1/2] • jung hoseok

plot — your best kept secret comes out and it becomes a hot topic around your university. it also brings you and hoseok closer.

words — 3.5K

You are going to lose it.

Seriously. The next person who asks you if the rumor is true, Lord help them, you are going to go bat-shit crazy on them.

You also swore off drinking indefinitely because if you hadn't been so inebriated, you would have taken another shot instead of telling the truth. Well, maybe not because it was because of drinking shots that you ended up in this mess in the first place.

So, yeah, drinking was out of the picture for the moment.

In all honesty, you weren't embarrassed about it. About still being a virgin. You made your choice a long time ago, and you choose to stick by it. You didn't want a perfect first time, or to wait until marriage, but you want to be comfortable with the person and you want it to feel right. You've never felt that with anyone before.

And if that made you a prude in the eyes of society, well then they can go fuck themselves for all you care. You'll wait until the time is right.

You looked up, to see where your feet had taken you and was it was in the Quad. It was just a large patch of grass with picnic tables place in it. For either eating or studying or just taking a break.

You sat down at a table, and barely twenty seconds after you sat down, three guys approached you. The one in the middle opened his mouth, "Hey! Y/N, is it true?"

You sincerely hoped it wasn't what you think it was, so you decided to give the idiot the benefit of the doubt. "Is what true?"

"That you're a virgin. I wanted to know if it's true, that's all." He said with a dirty smirk, making no secret of the fact that he was trying to check you out - the picnic table hid most of your body so it didn't work as well as he hoped.

"Yes, it's true." You snapped, voice harsh as the last of your patience swiftly ran out. "Rumor also has it you're an insensitive moron. So glad we could both confirm the running gossip. Now fuck off."

The guy scoffed, "Now wonder you're still a virgin. No one likes an uptight bitch."

"Now wonder you're still single. No one likes an stupid dick." You smirked up at him, watching in amusement as he stalked off with his two friends that looked a little embarrassed.

Ah, how you love using people's own words against them. Nothing makes a person angrier than that. It's really amusing too.

There was two more incidents - two girls that were curious, and one guy who offered his experience to you. Ugh.

Your stomach dropped when you saw the next person who approached you because you actually like this guy.

"Oh, not you, too, Hoseok." You groaned when you saw him, dropping your head down on your books.

"What?" Hoseok asked, bewildered, as he slid into the seat opposite you.

You peaked at him, cheek laying on your books, "Aren't you here to find out if the rumor is true and then mock me and judge me?"

"What rumor?" He asked, a little confused, as you sat upright. You just gave him a flat look and waited. You saw the dots connect in his mind. "Right. That rumor."

"Yeah." You gave him a humorless smile.

Hoseok shook his head, expression gentle as he looked at you. "Well, no. I'm not. One, it's none of my business. And two, it'd be hypocritical if I judged you."

"Why would it-" You cut yourself off as realisation set in, your eyes widened in disbelief as you inhaled sharply. "No way."

Hoseok laughed, his face lighting up and dimples on display, "It's true."

"I don't believe it." You laughed in disbelief. Hoseok had to be pulling your leg.

"Believe it." He nodded.

"You? Seriously?" You couldn't wrap your head around it.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He frowned at you.

"I don't mean anything by it, it's just . . ." You paused for a moment, gathering your thoughts and then settled with your default setting: brutal honesty. "Well, to be perfectly honest, you're like a wet dream come to life and it's a little hard to believe."

Hoseok's cheeks flushed and a satisfied warmth stirred in your belly, "I, uh, I've never wanted to. I mean, I've had girlfriends before but never enough to want to take them to bed."

"Now that, I understand. I've had two boyfriends and both of them I dropped when they kept pressuring me for more and I didn't want too." You told Hoseok who nodded along with what you said.

"Yeah, I know right. I mean, one of my ex-girlfriends accused me of not loving her." Hoseok actually pouted a bit as he spoke. You giggled at the sight, endeared by him. "She was right thought, I didn't love her. I liked her a lot, but it wasn't love. I don't think I've ever been in love. Not really." He looked at you. "Have you ever been in love?"

"I don't know." You admitted. "I mean, how do you know when you love someone? It's not like you can measure it."

"That's a fair question. I mean, I guess it's something you just know. Like, when you listen to a song and you know you love it after listening to it once. Maybe it's like that." Hoseok said and then suddenly he looked down, seeming embarrassed. "Sorry, you probably think that's dumb."

"No, no, not at all. I think it kind of fits." You said hastily, not wanting him draw the wrong conclusions. "I actually understand what you said more than when someone tries to tells me about how sometimes love is fate or destiny or written in the stars." You pulled a face.

Hoseok laughs and it makes you laugh back.

"Did you want something?" You asked him, when you both calmed down, still smiling.

"Huh?" He asked, clearly a little confused. You thought he looks adorable.

"You came over here," You reminded him. "I assume it was to ask or tell me something."

"Oh yeah." Hoseok's cheeks flushed again as realisation lit in his eyes. "I just wanted you to know that Jae is adjusting nicely to the classes."

A smile automatically spread on your lips at the mention of your nine year old sister. She recently started hip-hop classes and that was actually how you met Hoseok, he's her teacher. One afternoon your mother asked you to pick her up after practice and you and Hoseok talked a bit, and you found out that you go to the same university but just different major's. His is dance and yours is business.

"I'm glad." You smiled wider at him. "You didn't have to come all the way over here to tell me that though."

Hoseok let out a nervous laugh, rubbing at the nape of his neck as he looked at you shyly. "I also wanted to know if I can buy you a coffee sometime, maybe? I wanted to ask you out the day we met, I didn't think it would be appropriate, 'cause I was at work and all."

Now it was your turn to blush, pleasantly surprised by his offer. You had found yourself liking your sister's dance teacher, too, but you didn't know if he would say yes. And he wasn't some random guy could ask out and just forget if he says no.

You smiled, cheeks on fire as you looked at him. "Yeah, I'd like that."

"How does Saturday sound?" Hoseok asked excitedly and your stomach dropped.

"I can't, sorry." You told him, watching as his face fell. "Not because I don't want too. It's just, I promised my mom I'd spend the whole Saturday with her and my sister because according to her she doesn't see me enough." You hurried to explain.

Hoseok smiled again and your heart lifted, "Okay, how about Sunday afternoon?"

You don't think you've ever nodded so fast in your life. "Yes, that's perfect."

***

That Saturday when you went home, your mom squinted at you as you hopped on the kitchen counter as she made breakfast. "What is going on with you?"

"Nothing." You smiled innocently at your mother. She's been giving you looks since you arrived.

"Am I suppose to believe that all this smiling and the happy sparkle in your eyes is from nothing?" She asked, raising a brow. You decided to tell her because you and your mom have always been close. And you've been wanting to tell someone who won't tease you about Hoseok. Your best friends Minji and Jamie does that enough. You also wanted to tell her before she finds out by herself. You would never live it down.

"I'll tell you, but I don't want you to make a big deal out of this, okay, mom?" You said, grinning excitedly.

Her curiousity effectively peaked, your mom nodded eagerly. "Yes, yes, I won't. Promise."

"Okay, so, there's this guy I really, really like and we're going out tomorrow." You gushed, barely holding in a squeal as your cheeks hurt from smiling so wide.

Your mother gasped, a smile of joy spreading on his lips. "Oh, oh! This is wonderful news. Who is this young man that's managed to capture your attention? Is he nice? I hope he's not a troublemaker like your second boyfriend. Why, I heard the other day that he got arrested from breaking into someone's home. Can you believe that?"

You winced at the reminder of your second boyfriend. Not one of your proudest moments but you had a lot of fun with him. Right up until he wanted to get into your pants. The relationship went downhill pretty quick after you said no.

"I can't say I'm surprised." You admitted, because he always liked to skirt at the edge of the law, it was only a matter of time before he broke it. Luckily you got away before it went that far.

"Enough about him, though. Tell me about this boy of yours." Your mom pushed with glittering eyes.

You cheeks flushed, "Well, he's not mine yet, mom. And it's just a coffee date."

"Tell me his name then." She prodded hopefully.

You gave her a sheepish smile, "I can't, sorry."

"Why not?" She frowned.

"Because you know him." Now you smirked at her, knowing she'll drive herself crazy, trying to figure out who he is.

***

You couldn't remember the last time you were this nervous.

Oh, no, wait. You could. It was right before you went to get your final results for high school. You didn't sleep that night and you barely slept Saturday night. Falling asleep early Sunday morning and sleeping until finally your alarm woke you up at 11:00AM.

You immediately started getting ready. You took a shower, used a hairdyer for the first time this year (air-drying is much easier and more fun) before taking a hair straightner to your unruly mop of curls. You picked a nice outfit but decided to forego make-up. That would be too over the top for you.

Your phone buzzed with a text a little after 03:00PM.

You smiled widely when you saw who it was. You and Hoseok had exchanged numbers after he asked you out and kept in touch over the last week.

Hoseok

See you in a bit.

You

Can't wait!

You walked to the cafe you two agreed to meet at, nervous but also excited. You entered the cafe and heard your name being called by a familiar voice.

A smile automatically spread on your lips as you walked to the table where Hoseok was waving from. You couldn't even find it in yourself to care about the people staring at you. He stands up when you arrive at the table and goes to pull out your chair but you wave him off with a smile.

"Hey, I'm not late, right?" You asked with a nervous smile.

Hoseok shakes his head, beaming at you. "Nope, I'm early."

You looked at the time on your phone and smiled. 03:24PM. You're both early then. Sure, only six minutes, but it's a good sign, right?

"How've you been?" You ask as you pushed your phone into the back pocket of your jeans.

"Good. I actually caught up on some overdue work, yesterday. You?"

"I'm fine. It was nice spending time with my mom and my sister."

The waitress comes up to your table with a notebook. "Are you ready to order?"

Hoseok's sunny grin dims a bit. "I forgot to give her the menu."

"It's okay." You laughed brightly. "I come here often, so I know what I want." You assured him, then looked at the waitress. "I'd like a bubblegum milkshake and a big chocolate muffin."

"Okay," The waitress nods, repeating your order as she writes and you confirm it. She turns at Hoseok, "And for you?"

"I'd like a hazelnut latte and a waffle with peppermint and chocolate ice cream." He orders. You both wait until the waitress leaves before resuming your conversation.

"Interesting choice. The hot with the cold." You grin at him.

"Mmn, I didn't take you for having a sweet tooth."

You froze for a bit because normally you don't have a sweet tooth, not really, but it's not like you could tell him you're having pre-period cravings.

"Depends on my mood." You said instead, and it was the truth. You ate whatever you were in the mood for in general, not just when you are on your period. But you also like salty food more than sweet, but whenever you crave something sweet, it's usually because of your monthly gift from Eve.

Hoseok nods, accepting the answer. He tilts his head at you, "How's your mom and sister?"

"Well, my sister is an adorable little pain in the ass like always and my mom is starting a list of all the guys she knows, but overall they're good." You told him, laughing a bit as you spoke.

"Do I want to know?" He looked at you, equal parts curious and wary.

"I don't know, do you?" You asked teasingly, smiling at him, wiggling your eyes brows.

He thought for a moment, "Yeah, I do."

"It's nothing bad. I just told my mom about our date, and when she asked for your name, I told her that I can't tell her because she knows you."

Hoseok frowned ever so slightly, "Why didn't you want to tell her?"

"Because I don't want her to bombard you with personal questions until we figure out where we want this to go." You explained, gesturing between the two of you with your index finger.

Hoseok's eyes twinkled with mischief and laughter as he asked, "Ah, so she can ask me the personal questions after we start dating then?"

"Oh, yeah," You nodded, liking the idea of dating Hoseok all too much. "You'll have to prepare yourself to answer anything from what your first word was, to what brand and colour underwear you wear."

Hoseok burst out laughing and you smiled as you watch him. You like the way he laughs, unrestrained and so fully. It makes you feel warm inside.

You talk about this and that until your order arrives. Technically it was dessert, rather than food but eh, neither of you minded. And this was supposed to be a coffee date. It was already better than you two planned.

"Jung Hoseok." You called him seriously, after you finished eating your muffin, fiddling with the straw of your milkshake.

He sobered up, looking a little startled, "Yeah?"

"I adore you." You said, giving him a soft, slow smile.

His cheeks flushed and you realised you like making him blush.

Hoseok looked at you, eyes serious despite his red cheeks. "I really like you, Y/N."

Blood rushed to your cheeks and your heart picked up its pace. You looked down, sipping on your melting milkshake. When both of you were done eating and finished drinking, you ordered another milkshake and Hoseok ordered another latte.

Neither of you were ready to go home yet.

"So, why dance?" You asked him somewhere after your third milkshake, curious.

"I've always found it easier to express myself with my body rather than words." He shrugged, looking a little shy. "It's my greatest passion. When I'm dancing, I'm free."

"I'd like to watch you dance sometime. If you don't mind."

"Yeah, sure. I don't mind." Hoseok shook his head. "Why business?" He asked in return.

"Promise you won't laugh?" You asked first, looking at him seriously.

"I promise."

"And you can't tell anyone and I'll know if you have because I haven't told anyone. Not even my mom, but I think she suspects."

"I won't." Hoseok swore, sitting a little straighter.

"I want to start my own shoe store. Originally I wanted to study something in a fashion direction, I like designing shoes, but the industry is tough to get into. So, I figured I'll start smaller and work my way up." You looked down at the table, fiddling with a serviette.

"Wow. That's like . . .your whole future planned out." Hoseok said, looking at you with wide eyes.

You snorted, "Not really. It's just a dream. It's going to take hard work to make it into a reality."

"You can do it. I believe in you." He said, so sincere that you had no choice but to believe him.

When you finally went home, it was dark and Hoseok walked you back to your dorm room. Halfway there, he brushed his hand against yours and when he slid his palm against yours, you happily entwined you'd fingers.

You opened your door and turned to him, ready to say something but he beat you to it.

"I had a really great time today." He said with that ever present sunny smile that made your heart sing when he directed it at you.

"Me too. It was much better than I expected." You said, only realising after his smile dropped how that might have sounded to him. "Not that I expected it to be bad, just a little awkward because you make me nervous. Really nervous. But it wasn't awkward at all. I was comfortable from the beginning."

"Oh." Hoseok breathed softly, and you could heard the relief in that one syllable. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. Maybe we could do it again, sometime?"

"Oh, we better." You told him seriously.

"Well, I should get going. We have class tomorrow." He took a step back from you, clearly intent on leaving. You looked at him with raised brows.

"You're really not going to try for a goodnight kiss?" You laughed.

Hoseok let out an indignant huff, crossing his arms over his chest. "Hey, don't laugh at me. I'm trying to be a gentleman here."

You positively melted from his words, heart speeding up. You gave him a look full of adoration. "Hoseok, you are always a gentleman and I appreciate it," Your gaze turned a bit mischievous. "But you should know that I've been wondering what it would be like to kiss you since the day we met."

His eyebrows rose, jaw going slack as he looked at you in surprise. "Really?"

"Yes, really." You nodded, amused. "So, whenever you're feeling like being ungentlemanly, just know I wouldn't be opposed to it."

"Okay." He nodded dumbly and you laughed.

"Good night, Hoseok." You told him fondly.

"Night." Hoseok echoed, taking another step back and then turning away from you. You waited until he reached the stair case before you closed your door, letting out a squeal of happiness.

You took of your shoes, haphazardly kicking them into the shoe rack, pulling off your baby pink sweater as you padded to your room, humming with a gigantic grin on your face.

It wasn't five minutes since you arrived home when a knock sounded on your door. You threw your sweater on the bed, heading to the door.

"Yeah, I'm coming." You called, and the incessant knocking ceased. Probably Minji or Jamie that wants to borrow a book or some paper to print a project. You opened the door, frowning slight when you saw who was on the other side, "Hoseok? Is everything okay?"

"I'm not feeling very gentlemanly right now." He declared before stepping closer, grabbing you by the neck and kissing you until you were breathless, your socked covered toes curling.

"Good night." He said when he pulled away, then added on, "For real this time."

You laughed a little, feeling so ridiculously happy. You wondered if you could combust from it.

"Text me when you get home." You blurted, still catching your breath.

"Promise." He nodded, licking his lips. You leaned forward to peck them one last time. For now.

You laughed again, practically vibrating with giddiness as you closed the door for a second and final time.

***

AUTHOR'S NOTE: !!this is not the end!! *pouts* Tumblr told me that I filled all of my 250 boxes, so I have to split it. It's like my fic duet all over again. *le sigh* Idek how people write 12K fics and still fit it in.

part two

[authorlmfletcher]

Merry Christmas @csulliven​ ! I’m your secret santa for @mlsecretsanta​ ^_^ Hope you enjoy it!

Also on Ao3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28383465

                         ----------------------------------------------------------

Snow in Paris. How romantic. 

Adrien sighed as he watched the large snowflakes falling softly from his bedroom windows, secretly wishing that he was sitting on a rooftop somewhere with Ladybug. An image of her rosy red cheeks in the cold air, dark hair covered in white as she laughed made him smile. 

“Ready, Plagg? Time for patrol.” 

His kwami grunted noncommittally, tossing back an extra piece of camembert before Adrien called him into the ring. Chat Noir  pushed himself out the window almost before he was fully changed, black suit melting over his body in a familiar and comforting feeling.

From the rooftops, he watched children dancing in the streets with arms outstretched to greet the snow. Strings of lights draped over trees and over buildings, creating a warm and magical glow to the night sky. A few windows showcased trees twinkling with lights. It was perfectly wonderful, and all Chat could feel was empty. 

Christmas always hit him the hardest, the memories of his mother’s smile, joy, and laughter at this time of year flooding his thoughts everywhere he looked. He missed her so much. While usually he could keep the swirl of emotions under control, the holidays pulled them so close to the surface that nothing he tried could tamper them down. At least this year he wouldn’t let himself fall into the same angst-fuelled stomp around Paris from the year before.

Reaching their meeting point, Chat Noir flopped onto the rooftop, sitting with his legs dangling over the edge. He couldn’t help the curl in his back nor the soft frown on his face as he watched a young family walking down the street, each parent holding one hand of their child in the middle, swinging him high into the air as he screeched with joy. 

He missed those days. 

------------------------

Snow in Paris. Crap. 

Marinette’s feet slipped out from underneath her as she stepped out onto her balcony, a soft squeak escaping her lips as she frantically waved her arms to regain her balance. Tikki chuckled softly behind her. Marinette shot her kwami an unamused look. 

“You’ll be fine. Go - Chat will be waiting.” 

A quick set of words transformed Marinette in a brilliant flash of pink, a spotted suit appearing on her skin before she launched herself off her railing to yo-yo over the rooftops to their designated meeting spot. 

Trying not to slip as she landed on their rooftop, she noted the unusually despondent position of Chat’s body. 

“Hey Chat,” she called out. He turned and gave her a muted smile. 

“Hey.” 

That wasn’t her usual exuberant kitty. Deciding that patrol could wait, she plopped herself down beside her partner and gave him a good long stare, trying to telepathically discover what exactly was making him so sad. No answers came to her. 

“What’s wrong, kitty?” 

His hesitation to answer gave away a lot. Civilian issues, she realized. Something that mattered enough that he actually let it bother him when he was in his super suit. That worried her a little. 

“I - “ he shifted his eyes to peek at her, “I’m just finding the Christmas season hard. It’s all bright, and cheerful, and beautiful, but - it’s not like that for me.” 

Ladybug blinked, trying to process. Christmas always made her happy. The colours of the lights. The smells of fresh baked cookies. The snuggles on the couch watching a movie together with her parents. The excitement of homemade gifts. This was her favourite season! But, Chat - obviously it wasn’t the same. 

“Oh,” was all she could think of to say, her brain already slipping into planning mode. Something had to be done. No one should be unhappy at the happiest season of the year! She looked around the view of Paris, pieces of an idea popping into place in a typically Marinette/Ladybug fashion. 

“I have an idea.” 

Chat looked at her startled when she got to her feet. 

“An idea for what?” 

“An idea for you. Come on. Follow me.” And then she was swinging across Paris.  It took longer than she expected to arrive at her destination - a large building built like a square. Landing on the rooftop, she turned to find Chat close behind, a confused look on his face. 

“What are we doing here?” he asked. 

“Look,” she replied. A simple gesture brought his attention to the ice track laid out on the top of the building in a long path. “Transform to ice.” 

He gave her a startled look, shocked as she gulped down one of her power up macrons. Fumbling through his pockets, he followed her lead. 

“What are we doing?” he asked again. She just laughed, grabbing his hand and dragging him onto the ice. 

“Come on. I think you just need some fun.” 

She had to admit that the sheer look of surprise on his face was worth it. It took a few laps around the icy path before his usual boyish grin took over and he started to show off with spins and acrobatic displays. It felt like hours later when they both collapsed onto a bench with tired legs and hearts full of laughter. Ladybug felt thankful that her little plan had worked. She never wanted to see that hollow look on his face ever again. 

“Thank you, Ladybug,” he said softly, dropping his ice transformation with a sigh. “I needed that. Christmas season is just …  hard for me. It makes me think of someone I miss a lot.” Throwing his head back, he stared at the sky a moment before grabbing her hand for his trademarked knuckle kiss. 

“Anyway, thank you for the special evening. I should probably get going - I have a crazy day tomorrow and need to get some sleep.” 

Still on the bench, she watched him vault away. Detransforming, she sat there for longer with Tikki as the little kwami chomped away at a cookie. 

“Oh, Tikki. I wish I knew more about Chat Noir. Who could he miss so much that he gets that sad over the holidays?” 

Tikki simply chewed, not answering. Marinette sighed. “I know. I just wish I could do something to make Christmas special and happy for him instead.” 

It took all of 5 minutes for a massive, crazy, totally insane idea to come together. Changing back to Ladybug, she swung home, brain whirling with plans, knowing there was little chance of sleep for her creative self yet again. 

-----

Hands fussed with his hair. Others pulled at his clothes. Voices barked out orders as people raced around, moving props and backgrounds. The chaos of a photoshoot never got easier. The sooner he could get through these “fake happiness” last minute winter shoots, mostly for social media, the better. The head photographer shouted him in place - telling me which way to stand or sit, what to hold, how to pose, what face to wear. His body and expressions moved on auto-pilot. His thoughts wandered to the memories of the skating he’d done with Ladybug the night before. She understood him in a way that no one else likely ever would - able to read his REAL body expressions. 

“Adrien Agreste, get your head out of the clouds and down here onto the fake snow,” someone snapped, pulling his full attention back to the business at hand. 

The day promised to be one of chaos. Early photoshoot, obligatory fitness workout, rehearsal for a big presentation at an upcoming Christmas charity event, guest appearance on behalf of his father at two different events, another short photoshoot (outdoors - which sounded uncomfortable), followed by an evening at the 2nd or 3rd Christmas gala of the season. Hopefully there would be time to eat somewhere in there. 

Rushing from thing to thing on his schedule, Adrien mused over the busyness. Why did Christmas obligate people to fill their lives with meaningless activities and fake smiles? He would give anything to just sit together with his family and enjoy each other’s company in quietude. 

By the time he arrived home from the gala, dressed to the nines in one of his father’s top-line suits, that hollow feeling had returned. The oversized tree sparkling with lights and silver ornaments screamed how fake this holiday season felt - meaningless, impersonal, and just there because of obligation. 

He was too tired to do much else, stripping down to slip into some comfortable pajamas and tossing an extra chunk of cheese at his kwami. Briefly, he transformed, mostly to check if there were any messages on his baton. 

One unread message. 

“Hey Chat, I have this idea. Can we get together tomorrow? Say…. 10pm? The tower?” 

He typed back a quick message in agreement, mentally sifting through the day’s schedule, then flopped himself onto his bed with muttered words to transform back into his civilian clothes. 

At 9:45pm, Chat Noir burst out of Adrien’s bedroom window and raced over the rooftops. The snow from two days earlier had vanished, leaving things with a slightly damp look. Crisp winter air singed his cheeks, but it felt refreshing after yet another busy day. 

Ladybug stood waiting at their usual Eiffel Tower hangout, a large bag slung over her back. 

“So, what’s up, LB?” he asked, wondering what exactly she hid in a bag that size. 

“Follow me,” she said, jumping away. Whatever hid in the bag rattled as she took off. He hurried to keep up with her as she yo-yoed across the city, landing finally in a small park. She slipped the bag from her back, the rattling (and possible jingle?) sounding out. She unzipped it with deliberate slowness, giving him a grin. 

Inside sat decorations. 

“What are we -” he cut himself off as she laughed, pulling one of the silver spheres from her trove. 

“We’re going to decorate this tree. Together. It’s an important Christmas tradition!” 

Suddenly, he realized that he hadn’t even noticed the large evergreen tree in front of them. He must have frozen long enough with his mouth open in surprise that Ladybug had managed to hang 4 or 5 ornaments before asking if he was going to help. Springing into action, he carefully grabbed a ball and placed it onto the tree. A few ornaments later, he found himself wonderously tangled by tinsel with Ladybug laughing hysterically. He could feel his cat ears drooping as he asked for some help getting loose. 

When the bag was emptied, they stood side by side admiring their work. 

“Perfect.” He had to admit, she was right. They had done a terrific job. And it meant so much more to put together a tree with someone he cared about. Better than the team of professional decorators that Nathalie had hired this year. 

“Tomorrow? Same time? Eiffel Tower?” 

He had no idea what she planned to do, but he nodded, unable to stop the smile that crept onto his face. 

-------------

Everything was ready. Flour. Ginger. Molasses. Sugar. Marinette looked around the bakery kitchen with the feeling that she’d forgotten *something* but time to meet Chat crept closer. Maman and Papa had been more than generous when she had asked to use the kitchen for a  couple of nights. 

“As long as you don’t touch any of the morning’s baking,” her mother had answered, not needing any other explanation. 

“Time to go!” chirped Tikki, wide blue eyes twinkling. “I think he’s going to love this one.” 

“I know he will.” Taking one last glance at everything laid out, Marinette transformed and raced to find her partner waiting with anticipation at the tower. 

“Follow me.” 

She led him back to the bakery with an elaborate explanation of how the owners had graciously let her use their kitchen. From there, Ladybug spent the night helping Chat discover the joys of making a gingerbread house from scratch. Much laughter ensued as flour ended up on faces, ginger sent Chat into sneeze fits, and Ladybug discovered her partner’s lack of skills in a kitchen. By the end of their adventure that stretched early into the morning hours, they had a pair of iced together houses, one more askew than the other. 

“Go sleep now, Kitty. We’ll decorate them tomorrow night.” The excited twinkle in his eyes before he escaped made her smile when she finally crashed onto her bed for a few hours of sleep. 

The next night consisted of a sugar-fuelled cat boy, happily slapping candies and decorations to his somewhat lopsided gingerbread house. The next, she set up a laptop with a Christmas video on a nearby rooftop with some thick blankets and a thermos of peppermint tea. An afternoon visit to a local library ended up with them sitting in the middle of the children’s section with kids climbing all over them as the librarian read The Grinch and other kids acted it out. 

A midnight excursion wandering through Paris, taking in all the amazing light displays led to another spent window shopping well after most Parisians were sleeping. He hadn’t ever really just looked at window displays for their artistic value before. 

The following night, all plans were thwarted by the Giftster - an akuma who wrapped everyone up in paper and  bows out of spite over a poorly wrapped gift. It took longer than she hoped to defeat the villain,leaving her a little sad that her plan for the night was ruined - the hot chocolate bar she’d put together cold and the whipped cream melted to liquid by the time they arrived. 

“It’s still purr-fect, Ladybug. I don’t mind at all. It’s the people we’re with that make the holidays special, not the temperature of the drink.” He poured himself a large mug of cocoa and piled the top full of marshmallows, syrup, and sprinkles.”Delicious.” 

---

Adrien’s view of Christmas shifted. The anticipation of Ladybug’s holiday shenanigans brought him more excitement than he had felt for the holidays in a long while. Nothing would ever replace the hole left by his mother’s disappearance, but at least this made him feel hopeful again instead of melancholy. With less than a week left to Christmas, he sat in his class for the last day before the two week break. Marinette lay flopped on her desk, possibly asleep, as Nino and Alya argued the merits of their gift wish lists. 

“What about you, Agreste?” Alya snapped, poking Marinette awake with her elbow. “What are you doing this Christmas? Any big plans?” 

He shrugged. “Not really.” 

“No running off and sending your dad into Christmas Godzilla mode this year, ok?” Nino quipped. Adrien felt himself flush. 

“I won’t,” he murmured. “Listen - last year was hard. The first Christmas without my mom, ok? She loved Christmas and it just feels … I don’t know. Christmas season is just …  hard for me. I miss her so much.” 

Realizing that he was killing their fun conversation, he decided to turn himself around.  “But don’t worry! No running off this year. I promise. I’ve actually had a friend from work making sure that Christmas is awesome. We’ve gone ice skating, watched a really fun holiday movie, and we even made these gingerbread houses - from scratch! Even Mother didn’t do that!”  

He told them all about the adventures that he’d been having and how special they’d made the holidays become, carefully avoiding any mention of their superhero selves. The more he rambled on about the activities he had been doing late in the nights with Ladybug, the more Marinette’s eyes grew wide. He stopped talking when she let out a strangled sound. 

“Are you ok, Marinette?” 

She sat frozen, statue-like for a long moment, staring blankly at him. Suddenly she jumped with a yelp, clutching at her side. 

“Oh, yep. Yep. Totally good. I’m totally fine. Everything’s fine.” She let out a wild and panicky laugh, blinking rapidly. “I’m good. Are you good? Everyone’s good, right? Ok. I’m just - I’m just - Ms. Bustier? May I be excused to use the bathroom?” 

And then she bolted, racing out of the classroom in a gangly, flailing pile of limbs. The whole classroom paused in their conversations for a quiet moment as they stared at the door, then with a universal shrug, returned to what they were doing. 

“That was weird,” muttered Alya, frowning. “Even for Marinette.” 

-----------

“Just breathe, Marinette. Breathe. In. Out. Innnnnnnn. Ouuuuuuuuuuut. Innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Out.” 

From the bathroom stall she hid in, Marinette could hear and see her kwami giving anti-panic attack advice, a blurry red dot floating in front of her face, but she couldn’t process the words being said. Adrien Agreste. Chat Noir. Adrien Agreste? Chat Noir. Nope. It just had to be a coincidence that Adrien’s “friend from work” had taken him on all the same adventures that Ladybug had put together for Chat Noir. Totally a coincidence that Chat missed someone special while Adrien missed his mother. Just coincidence. 

Oh crap. 

Chat Noir was Adrien Agreste. ADRIEN AGRESTE WAS CHAT NOIR. 

She threw up in the toilet. 

-------------

Chat couldn’t quite put his finger on what was different that night as they listened from the rooftops to a group of carollers in one of the parks. Ladybug sat a little farther away than she usually did. She didn’t roll her eyes at his jokes or speak much at all. In fact, she didn’t even look him in the eyes. 

“Everything ok?” he asked finally, unable to stand the awkwardness any longer. Her head snapped at that, eyes connecting with his for the first time in the night. 

“Oh. Yes, sorry. I just found out something about a friend today and it’s been hard to work through, that’s all.” She smiled, but it wasn’t a real smile - her eyes skittering away from him. He frowned. 

“Want to talk about it? In generalized terms, I mean.”

She shook her head. 

“No. I’d rather just listen to the music, ok?” 

“Ok.”

The next evening, with only 2 days left to go before the big holiday arrived, Chat found himself at a local food bank, handing out meals to families whose faces shone with so much gratitude that it made him feel embarrassed to live as he did. Ladybug still seemed preoccupied. He smiled at her every time she tried to stealthily look at him, wondering exactly what was going on behind those brilliant blue eyes. 

At the end of their volunteer time, they escaped to the rooftops. 

“Are we doing anything special tomorrow?” he asked, wondering if the magical sense of Christmas had worn off for her. “It IS Christmas Eve after all.” 

She gave him a look he couldn’t quite define. 

“Are you ok, LB? You’ve been really … off for the last day or so.” 

He watched as she opened and closed her mouth like a fish for a moment before snapping it shut. She visibly straightened her back. 

“It’s nothing big, I promise, but yes - let’s meet at the tower tomorrow?” When he nodded, she flashed him an almost real smile before swinging off into the distance. 

Plagg had no ideas, simply focusing on his cheese and musing over whether Adrien had any stocking fillers planned. The kwami tapped suggestively at the pictures in his Gentleman’s Camembert magazine. 

Adrien gave up, hoping that whatever bothered Ladybug would be resolved by the time they got together tomorrow. 

---------------

Christmas Eve dawned bright and crisp, the cold smell of winter on the air. Marinette did not want to get out of the coziness that her oversized comforter provided. If it hadn’t been for the wail of her akuma alert alarm forcing her to drag herself out of bed, she might not have for the whole day. 

The realization that Adrien Agreste - face of perfection and heart of gold - and Chat Noir - jokester and  impulsive rogue were the same person had left her rattled. Marinette had needed a few days to process it all, but she was slowly coming to terms with how much it meant to her to discover the boy she deeply cared for was also her best friend. 

She swung across the city to find a Grinch-like akuma, green from head to toe with a red hat and coat. With a single touch, the lights and decorations found on the streets of Paris simply vanished. Anyone found in his path transformed into lumps of coal. 

“I think he has the wrong city. This isn’t Whoville.” Chat voice chirped happily - sickeningly so, given the early hour of the morning. “Good morning, milady.” 

“Morning, kitty.” With a yawn, she searched the akuma for clues where to find their target. “I’m guessing it’s the Santa hat. But we have to keep out of range of his hands. Turning to coal sounds like a terrible way to spend Christmas.” 

With a nod, he stood up and extended his baton with a grin. “40 feet.” Then he launched himself off the rooftops to place himself securely in the path of the opponent. 

“Hey, is that your resting Grinch face?” he taunted, starting his usual distraction methods. She watched for the briefest of moments as the akuma threw itself at her partner with a growl. If she could just sneak in behind while it was distracted, she could probably pull the hat from his head. 

Things never are that easy when fighting akumas. Realizing that a second superhero attempted to stealth attack him, the Grinch whirled around, knocking her to the ground mid-pendulum arch. She hit the ground with a roll, dodging away from the outstretched hand. Chat responded with a careful leap, vaulting himself towards the villain and narrowly missing the hat. Acrobatic flips moved him back out of the way of danger. 

A few cheesy puns about the Grinch and being green later, Chat still somehow managed to keep most of the attention on himself while Ladybug attempted another grab for the hat. Failing, the Grinch growled, grabbing onto Chat’s baton and flinging the cat boy into the air. Ladybug watched in horror as her partner landed right in the akuma’s grip, wide-eyed and legs kicking.

Mere seconds felt like hours, a black heaviness overcoming Chat from his toes to his face. She screamed his name, panic clawing at her heart. No. No! Her yo-yo whirred with renewed vigour, calling her Lucky Charm. Into her hands dropped a carefully wrapped, red-polka dotted present with a tag reading “For the Grinch.” 

A plan clicked into place. 

“Oh, Mr. Grinch. I have something for you.” The akuma dropped the lifeless stone figure of Chat Noir to the pavement with a loud thud, turning its attention instead to her. She thrust the present at him with a smile, which made him stop and cock his head sideways with a frown. If she hadn’t been so focused on where the hands of her opponent were in that moment, she would have started singing. After all, music won the day in the story of the Grinch - hadn’t it? 

“Merry Christmas.” 

Cautiously, the akuma accepted the gift, settling down on the pavement beside Chat’s coal statue to rip open the paper and see what his gift was. The moment the lid popped free, a brilliant flash of light went off, blinding the akuma long enough for Ladybug to grab the hat and tear it apart. Away fluttered the butterfly, captured a moment later in her yo-yo with a snap. Bubbles enveloped the akumatized victim. In its place sat a confused man. 

Grabbing the remaining pieces of the gift box, Ladybug threw it up into the air with a shout, releasing the Miraculous butterflies. They swirled around everything. Lights and decorations reappeared. People changed back from coal to themselves. She watched with relief as Chat emerged from his own coal statue, throwing her arms around his neck. 

“Whoa!” he yelped, arms wrapping around her to prevent himself from falling backwards onto the pavement. 

“Stupid cat,” she murmured, prying herself free to pay attention to the man on the ground nearby. Helping him to his feet, she found herself giving Chat the chance to interact with the victim - watching in silence as her partner graciously reassured the man that everything was okay now and Christmas hadn’t been ruined. 

With a wave, they escaped to the rooftops. 

“So,” drawled Chat, giving her the most curious of looks. “I have a question for you. Why did you shout ‘Adrien’ when I turned to coal?” 

Certain that her heart stopped, Ladybug froze. She hadn’t. Had she? She blinked at him, wondering exactly what to say, brain scrambling for words. 

“Why would I call you Adrien? That’s just silly. You aren’t Adrien - you’re Chat Noir. Completely different people. You must have heard wrong. I’m sure I shouted for you, silly cat. Chat Noir. Not Adrien.” Realizing that she rambled stupidly, she snapped her mouth shut and waited. 

He narrowed his eyes at her, the gaze heavy and searching before he laughed. “Of course. I must have been mistaken. See you tonight then, LB?” 

She nodded and he saluted before running off. Breathing a sigh of relief, she headed home, hoping to get a little more sleep before the busy part of the day before Christmas required her attention. 

-------

“She knows, Plagg. I don’t know how, but she knows who I am.” Adrien lay flat on his bed, arms thrown wide, eyes staring at the ceiling. “Is that why she’s been acting strange lately? Maybe she figured out who I am and doesn’t like that it’s me!” 

A million ideas and thoughts raced through his mind, distracting him through the day’s schedules. Appearances here, appearances there. Fake smiles and poses for media cameras. No family time like all his friends. His Instagram feed showcased Nino and his brother working on making cookies, Alya’s family sitting around in their PJs playing board games, Marinette hard at work in the bakery with her parents. Sitting in the back of the car that drove him everywhere, Adrien felt that emptiness that always seeped in around Christmas. Alone, isolated, and now - Ladybug knew who he was to the point of not being able to look him in the eye. Christmas sucked. 

When their designated meetup time approached, he dutifully transformed into Chat Noir, stuffing the gift he’d put chosen for her into one of his pockets. Hopefully she would at least like that. 

Ladybug stood on their favourite platform of the Eiffel Tower, pacing back and forth with wild arm gestures. She must have really been deep in thought since she didn’t even hear him land on the metal railing. 

“Merry Christmas!” he called out, making her jump in surprise, hand clutched to her heart and blue eyes popped open wide in a strangely familiar and out-of-place motion. 

“Oh, Chat. You scared me.” He chuckled. “Merry Christmas.” 

“So, what’s on the plans for tonight’s Christmas adventure?” he asked. “Anything exciting?” 

She blinked twice, staring at him for longer than should feel comfortable. 

“Oh. Right. I thought I’d give you a special gift. It’s a tradition that my family has to open one gift each on Christmas Eve, so I thought it would be fun to do that with you.” 

It would be fun, he thought. As long as she still liked him. 

“Can I go first?” he asked, pulling the small package from his pocket and thrusting it at her. “It’s not much, but it seemed to scream like the gift you needed.” 

Inside held two small pins. The first - a tiny ladybug with closed wings, the other - a small white circle with a set of black cat ears and green eyes peeking up from the bottom. She laughed, telling him that his gift was wonderful and that she’d find the perfect place for them. 

She took a deep breath before she passed him a gift bag. 

“For you.” 

Carefully, he pulled out the tissue paper and unwrapped something soft. Into his hand fell a palm-sized hand-stitched doll of himself - Chat Noir. Digging into the bag more, he found a matching Ladybug. Something nagged in the back of his mind that he’d seen dolls like these before - back when Manon had been akumatized. Marinette had made dolls that Manon wanted to play with. He flipped them over to admire the neat stitching work and attention to detail.

“These are adorable. Thank you so much. Did you get these from Marinette Dupain-Cheng? I think she had some similar to these.” 

She made a funny sound before answering. “Kind of? I made them for you.” 

She had made them? He frowned in confusion. 

Ladybug stepped forward, pulling the dolls gently out of his hands and putting them back in the bag before putting it on the ground. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and moved so that she was achingly close. 

“Tikki. Spots off.” 

He didn’t have time to close his eyes, other than to wince slightly at the bright and unexpected flash of pink light as Ladybug’s transformation dropped. In her place stood Marinette herself, a heavy black cat-ear hoodie pulled up over her head. An homage to himself, he realized. Two heartbeats later, she raised herself up on her tiptoes, hands clutching at his arms, warm lips pressing against his. 

She stepped back before he could even react, whispering “Merry Christmas, my kitty - Adrien Agreste.” 

He stared into her bluebell eyes, the pieces of the puzzle in his life clicking together in the most wonderful of ways. She did know. And she kissed him. Marinette Dupain-Cheng had turned a season full of disappointment and missing his mother into something full of memories and wonder. She had turned it into the best Christmas he had ever had. 

“Thank you, milady Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Merry Christmas to you, too.” 

As he dared to pull her close and kiss her for real, he realized that snowflakes were falling gently on Paris. How romantic.

[backtothestart02]

Teacher’s Pet - 1/? | westallen fanfiction

A/N: Written for Mi on twitter. <3 Is there any new fic I won’t start and never update? *nervous laughter* Hopefully this will be updated soon. Hope you all enjoy. It’s the forbidden college teacher-student romance au you never knew you needed. Iris is much older than Barry and the rest of the chars (minus Scott). Just an fyi.

...

Synopsis:  AU - Fresh off a break-up, the last person Barry expects to fall for is his new English teacher.

...

Chapter 1 -

The university building loomed just ahead on the far side of the courtyard. It was menacing in its stature, for what it represented. A return to academics, sure, but that was something Barry had always enjoyed. No, this building was menacing because it thrust into his face the reality that he almost hadn’t passed any of his classes the previous semester. He had a long way to go to get back to the top of his class and to a place where his parents would be proud of him again. That was important to him.

He stepped out of his car and shut the door behind him, gulping as he looked up at the flag whipping in the wind in plain view of the building. It was cold outside. There was still snow on the ground. His boots crunched as he walked on the ground and around the car to pop open the trunk and grab the two duffel bags he’d taken home with him on winter break.

His phone started to buzz when he was halfway to the building. Reluctantly, he dropped his bags in the snow and answered it.

“Hey, Cisco.”

“Barry! Finally, you answered!”

Barry frowned.

“I just got back to school. You know I don’t pick up the phone when I’m driving.”

He could practically feel Cisco rolling his eyes on the other end.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Where are you at?”

Barry looked around.

“Right in front of our building,” he said. “Think you can come down and open the door for me? My hands are kinda full.”

“Oh, uh, yeah, sure thing.”

“Unless you’re too busy?”

“Mid-game actually.” Barry could hear video game noises in the background. They abruptly stopped. “But for you, I pause. I’ll be right there.”

“Great. Tha-”

But Cisco hung up before he could finish.

Barry shoved the phone back in his coat pocket and picked up his bags again. Then he trudged over to the building, stuffing the dread he’d felt on seeing the place again as far down as he could muster.

“There he is! Man of the hour!” Cisco declared, opening the door just as he arrived.

“Thanks, man.”

“It’s the least I could do. Personally, I was starting to wonder if you’d ever get here.”

Barry snorted.

“I don’t exactly live close by.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Here let me-”

But Barry held both bags out of reach.

“They’re heavy, Cisco. I put as much as I could into them before I left.”

“I remember. I was surprised the zipper didn’t break.”

“Ha, ha, very funny,” he drawled, shifting one bag over his shoulder. “Just lead the way.”

“Suit yourself. You may change your mind though.”

“What would make me do that?”

“The fact that the elevator is under construction for another month.”

Barry abruptly dropped one of the bags just shy of his foot.

“What, for real? I thought they were going to finish that over break.”

Cisco shrugged. “Guess not.”

Barry blew out a puff of air and reluctantly handed a bag over to his roommate.

“Shit, what do you got in here, bricks? Cement blocks? Oh, I know, pure gold.”

“Told you it was heavy.”

Barry moved past him towards the stairs.

“We still on the third floor?”

“Last time I checked.”

Barry nodded and took the stairs two at a time.

“Hey, Mr. Long Legs,” Cisco called out when he was only halfway up the stairs and Barry was turned the corner to the next staircase. “Slow up a bit, would ya?”

“Sorry.” Barry stopped. “But if I stop for too long, I’ll lose my energy and before you know it, I’ll be unpacking in the middle of the stairs.”

Heaving by the time he reached them, Cisco could only gesture for him to continue. Barry had to smile a bit to himself, but by the time they reached it to the final platform, he was due for some extra oxygen too.

“We should start working out.”

“On campus?” Cisco asked. “You know who’s always hogging the fitness center.”

Barry didn’t need a reminder.

“Wally West, yeah, I know.”

“He doesn’t exactly like you.”

“He stole my girlfriend.”

“To be fair, he’s been working out longer than you.”

“I don’t work out.”

“Case in point.”

“We could start walking.”

“In this weather?” Cisco visibly shivered. “Nah, I don’t think so.”

“So, what, we just stay skinny and pale for the rest of our lives?”

“I’ll just stay skinny, thank you very much. And after what you went through last semester, maybe the last thing you should be focused on is buffing up for the ladies.”

Barry rolled his eyes. He didn’t need the reminder. He hadn’t been in love with Linda, so her breaking up with him for cocky jock Wally West bruised his ego more than his heart, but it still hurt. He liked her, and he thought after a year of dating, they had something real. Guess he was wrong.

Spending the tail end of the semester trying to win her back instead of focusing on his finals was probably the reason he’d nearly flunked out of every class he’d been taking. He wouldn’t be doing that again.

Abruptly, he realized Cisco was still talking.

“You know the real reason Wally bothers you so much isn’t just because of Linda.”

“No? What is it then, oh, wise one?”

Cisco turned the key in the door to their room and stepped inside, dropping Barry’s bag on the floor for him to pick up and carry across the room.

“It’s because he skates by in his classes too. He rarely shows up, rarely puts in an effort, and yet, because his sister teaches, she has an in with his records and sweet talks the other teachers to let him slide by.”

Barry straightened after shrugging out of his coat and kicking his boots off.

“I didn’t know that.”

“Surprise!” Cisco said animatedly.

Barry was not amused.

“I have her as my English teacher this semester.”

Cisco winced. “Yikes.”

Barry scowled.

“I hear she’s pretty though. Like, drop-dead gorgeous.”

“I’m not gonna date my teacher.”

“Who said anything about dating her? She’s just something nice to look at. Maybe she’ll be sweet on you.”

“Oh, yeah, the woman who’s cheating the system so her brother graduates will give me – the ex to her brother’s girl whose gpa has seriously tanked over the last months – a fair chance.”

Cisco shrugged.

“It’s only one class?”

Barry sighed.

“Yeah, I guess.” He shook his head. “I need a distraction from all this.”

Cisco snapped his fingers.

“Video games!”

Barry considered it.

“Yeah, I guess that might do it.”

“It will do it.” He picked up a controller and handed it to him. “Here. I’ll even delete all my progress so we can both play.”

Barry snorted.

“Thanks, man. You’re one in a million.”

“Better than Linda and Wally combined.”

“And Ms. West.”

“Professor West she likes to be called.”

Of course she does.

Barry rolled his eyes and reached over to Cisco’s controller to start the game and shut him up.

“Hey, what did y-”

“Play!”

Cisco shook his head and started to play, eventually forgetting his minor irritation and focusing wholeheartedly on the game and having his best friend back in his space again.

It would be a good semester. Despite all odds, Barry would excel. He had no doubt.

…

 Iris draped the fuzzy blanket over her legs and sank into her couch. After a tasty dinner for one and an exhilarating bath, here she was ready to enjoy a few chapters of her current favorite book for the night. Tomorrow classes would start up again, and she would have to be up at the crack of dawn to be in teacher mode. It had been a solid month and a half of relaxation and freedom – minus the small inconvenience of having Wally crash with her and frequently invite his new girlfriend over. But aside from that, it had been nice.

She enjoyed teaching though, always had. Running the school newspaper helped channel her passions for something more. And when she wasn’t worrying about whether or not she would be the only one in her family graduating college, she could enjoy being a flirt to just about every man on staff. The other women envied her. She didn’t care. She didn’t sleep around. It was all in good fun. And it would all resume tomorrow morning, bright and early.

A sudden loud noise interrupted her thoughts. She looked toward the door and found to her great annoyance that it was her brother, whose lips were attached to the new girl she’d met only twice over the last month. Her eyes narrowed when she realized his hands were searching out the hem of her shirt and the zipper of her skirt.

“Uh, Wally?”

No response. Just more moans and groping.

“Hey, Wally!” She snapped – literally.

His eyes opened, and he distanced himself from his girl, though only slightly.

“Iris. Hey. What are y-”

“I live here, remember?”

“Yes, right. I know. I just thought…”

“It’s nine o’clock, and you’re crashing on my couch. Where were you expecting to go?”

He had the gall to have a straight face.

Meanwhile, the girl just inches from him blushed.

“Oh, my God, Wally,” she whispered under her breath. “I thought you said she wouldn’t be home.”

Iris got to her feet.

“You were going to fuck in my bed.”

“Well, I…”

“You were!”

“Maybe I should go…” the mortified girl muttered.

“Yeah, I think you’d better,” Iris barked.

“Hey! Don’t talk to her like that!” Wally ordered.

Iris’ eyes widened.

“Maybe you should leave too.”

“And go where?”

“I don’t know. Home?”

“I came here so I didn’t have to. You know they’d never take me. They can’t stand the sight of me.”

“Yeah, well, right now I can’t really stand the sight of you either.”

He fumed. She fumed right back.

“I’ll just go,” the girl piped up again. “I’m so sorry about this, Iris.” She swallowed hard.

“You’re not going anywhere.”

Both women gave him a deadly glare until finally Wally relented. He softened as he turned to his girlfriend.

“I mean, do you really want to go?”

“I…”

Iris was in disbelief. This was her apartment!

“I’m calling mom.”

He spun around to face his sister instead.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Leave.” She pointed toward the door. “Come back when you have your priorities straightened out.”

He scoffed but wrapped his arm around his girl and guided her to the door.

“Come on, Linda. We can go to your place.”

“I have a roommate,” she panicked.

“Guess you won’t be fucking then,” Iris said dryly.

Wally glared but left the apartment. Iris locked the door immediately. He had a key, so it wasn’t going to keep him out, but it would give her some peace of mind until she went to bed.

Heaving a sigh, she collapsed back on the couch and closed her eyes for a few minutes before grabbing her book and relaxing into it again.

It took a while, and she was just about into the zone of where the characters were headed when there was a knock on the door.

She sighed, aggravated, and deliberately set the book down on the coffee table. Then she got to her feet and headed toward the door.

“So help me, Wallace, if that is actually you… If you lost your key… If you’re coming back this soon, there better be an apology,” she muttered heatedly.

She was so focused on the possibility that it was her brother that she flung the door open without looking through the peephole and was fuming when she came face to face with a familiar yet completely unexpected face.

“Scott?”

“Did I…come at a bad time?”

She blinked, suddenly aware of just a teddy beneath her fluffy robe. She looked him over and debated her options. He looked dashing, as always, and the easy charm was there in his half-amused smile pulling at his lips. There’d been an easy flirtation between the two of them since they’d met five years ago, but they’d never acted on it. Now here he was the night before the spring semester started with red roses in one hand and an uncurling fist that was probably sweaty as the other.

Suddenly, she needed nothing more than to act out one of the steamy love scenes in her book. Damn it all to hell what the next day brought.

She grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and pulled him into her apartment, kissing him soundly on the lips. He made no attempt to push away, and in fact moved to undress her through the far less layers as she was undressing him.

The door was shut, and the flowers dropped in the flurry of it all, and before either of them realized the gravity of what had happened, they were in Iris’ bedroom fucking, and Iris was kind of smug about it because it should serve Wally right for trying to do it first.

That didn’t mean she’d let him spend the night however. If Wally saw him gossip would spread, no doubt to get back at her, and she didn’t need either of their teaching reputations ruined like that.

So, about ten minutes after they’d crested, and Scott was laying in bed beside her with a gigantic grin on his face, Iris propped herself up and made a gesture towards the door.

“Okay, time for you to go.”

His jaw dropped.

“Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No, honey.” She stroked his chest. “You were fantastic.”

“Then?”

“We’re not together. I was just feeling stressed out, and you alleviated my stress. Thank you.” She smiled serenely.

He blinked.

“Seriously, go. If Wally sees you here, gossip will spread before either of us gets a word in our classes tomorrow. That’s hardly the best way to start the semester.”

He blinked again, still trying to process. She didn’t like that.

“Go!” She pulled on her robe and yanked him out of her bedroom.

He seemed to figure out what was going on by that point and caught his clothes as she threw them at him.

“I…uh…”

“I’ll see you tomorrow in the hall.”

“You will?” he asked hopefully.

“In the hall,” she repeated.

He frowned, and she sighed, moving swiftly past him to open the door and usher him out.

“Did you like the flowers at least?” he asked pathetically.

“They’re lovely,” she assured. “Goodnight, Scott.”

Then she closed the door in his face and locked it, promptly turning and throwing out the flowers without even a single sniff. Wally couldn’t see she had flowers. He was annoyingly observant and picked up on shit like that.

She returned to her bedroom, changed the sheets, and took a quick shower to rinse off the sweat. Then she settled in to sleep with a smile on her face. Amazing what a one-night stand could do for a girl’s mood.

This semester was going to be great.

[wolveria]

Blue Moon - Chapter 1

Pairing: Android werewolf!Nines x Reader

Summary: It was Halloween night when you stumbled across the android that looked more monster than machine. Damaged and alone, you didn't have the heart to leave him behind.

You'd always had a weakness for strays.

Prompt: Inspired by art!

Warnings: Rated E, eventual smut, Zlatko experimentation, monster romance

AO3

You pulled your coat closer in a useless attempt to ward off the cold. Winter had decided to make an appearance early this year as snow laid on the ground, and you lamented over the fact you’d chosen to walk home instead of take a taxi. The coffee shop was only a couple blocks away from your apartment, but it felt like a cross country trek as your breath billowed out of your mouth.

The wind rustled through the trees and you shuddered again. The park you’d taken a shortcut through was a good size, and you could no longer see the streetlights that signaled civilization was near.

Why had you decided to do this, again? And on Halloween night? Not that you believed in the paranormal or anything—

You dropped your nearly-empty coffee cup, the last drops spilled and forgotten on the footpath. A pair of glowing blue eyes stared out at you from the underbrush around the base of a tree.

Before you could think to scream, a low whine came from the bush. You placed your hand over your heart and let out a long breath, smiling faintly. It was just a dog, that was all. And the light from the full moon must be making its eyes glow like that. Yes, that’s all it was.

“It’s all right,” you said, offering your hand in what you hoped was a friendly manner, praying it didn’t have rabies. “Come here, boy.”

There was a low thudding noise accompanied by the brush moving. A sad, fluffy tail thumping against the ground.

You gave a sympathetic “awwww” and lightly patted your thighs, hoping to coax it out of its hiding place.

“You poor thing. Are you cold? I bet you’re hungry. Come here, sweetie, let’s get you some… food…”

Your voice trailed off as the glowing pair of blue eyes rose, higher and higher—definitely not at canine level—before it stepped out of the shadows.

It was huge, or at least seemed that way when you’d been expecting a large dog at most. Standing on two legs, it reached over six feet easily, not including the wolfish ears that stuck up from its head. With blue-black fur, sharp nails and a hint of teeth peeking out from its lips, you would have never guessed it was an android if not for the spinning yellow ring at its temple.

The android was also completely naked, not a stitch of clothing to be seen, and you quickly snapped your eyes back up to its face, face flushing at the sheer size of what you’d seen.

It—he took a hesitant step toward you, and if you’d had any of your senses left, you would have run. Android or not, you were fairly certain you were about to be murdered and eaten, and not necessarily in that order.

But your joints were locked, your limbs frozen, and all you could do was watch as the android bent down and wrapped a clawed hand carefully around your discarded coffee cup. Stepping directly in front of you, he slowly held the cup out, his ears laid flat as if afraid you were going to whack him with a rolled up newspaper.

You glanced from face to his outstretched hand. That was when you caught sight of the gash across his ribcage, the exposed internal circuits glittering in the dark.

You’d always had a soft spot for injured animals. And while he might not be an animal, per se, it was close enough that you gently took the coffee cup and gave him a soft thank you.

His ears perked and his tail wagged hopefully as he retracted his hand. He continued the slow wag of his tail as he stared at you expectantly. It took you a minute to realize what he was waiting for. He was, after all, an android, and a canine-like one at that.

He was waiting for orders.

“Are you lost?” you asked. Was he even programmed to talk? “Where do you live? Do you need help getting back home?”

You almost asked who his owner was, but it didn’t feel right. You suspected you’d made the right decision when the question had him folding his ears back, his floofy tail dipping towards the ground.

“Uh, that’s okay.” You tried you best at a soothing smile. “The police station isn’t far from here. I can take you there—“

It was precisely the wrong thing to say; his LED went red and he winced as if you’d slapped him. You weren’t at all prepared for him to open his mouth, and a raspy, rough voice to come out.

“No. Please. Not there.”

You gawked up at him, hardly believing what you’d heard with your own ears, but the android could definitely talk. As strange as he looked, he was capable of communicating his wants.

…and you’d heard rumors about the kinds of androids that wanted.

Carefully you glanced around, but no one else had come across the two of you. It was lucky it was Halloween when most people would be trick-or-treating or handing out candy; the last thing you needed was to be caught in the middle of the night, in a park, with a strange, naked android.

“Okay. No police station.” You rubbed at your arms as you glanced him over, immediately regretting it as your sight dipped below his belly button. Looking away resolutely, you offered, “Why don’t you come back to my place, just for tonight? Get you some clothes and then… we can have a talk.”

Finally, you had said the right thing. His ears went all perky and his tail wagged its fastest yet, but most of all, his LED went blue for the first time. It was the same shade as his glowing eyes.

You gulped. This was such a fucking bad idea.

“I would like that,” he said, voice all soft and gentle. And just like that, you were a goner. No turning back now.

“Come on,” you sighed, stepping around him to continue in the direction of your apartment. It was a bit silly still hanging onto the empty coffee cup, but all you could focus on was the near-silent footfalls behind you as you tried to come up with the best way to sneak a naked android werewolf into your apartment.

***

As it turned out, dealing with the android was a lot less surreal when he had clothes on, even if it was a pair of sweatpants and a tight sweater that barely fit him. You’d have to order some clothes for him tomorrow

If he even wanted to hang around that long. You were under no illusion that if he wanted to leave, you wouldn’t be able to stop him, but for now he seemed content to stay.

The android was currently standing in your living room, fussing with the hem of the sweater that barely covered his waistline. You covered your mouth with your fingers in a poor attempt to hide a smile. Now that you were confident he wasn’t going to eat you, the android was actually quite adorable. You’d even cut out a hole in the back of the pants for him to pull his tail through.

You plopped down onto the couch and padded the cushion next to you. It had been a long time since you’d had a houseguest, and it said a lot about your state of loneliness that you were excited over having a strange android for company.

Said android stared at you for a moment before perching, quite primly, at the other end of the couch. The fact he had to move his tail out of the way before he sat down ruined the composed image he was trying to convey.

He really was very odd, and not just because of all the wolfy bits. This android seemed very much alive, a fact that should have had you picking up the phone to call the authorities. But… you didn’t.

Instead, you bombarded him with questions. What was his name? Where did he come from? Was he a custom model? How had he been injured? The wound looked ghastly, but he hardly noticed it. You made a mental note to add Thirium and android chassis repair sealant to the shopping list. You’d never owned an android before, but you’d always been fascinated with them and knew the basics of what they needed.

“RK900,” was his answer to your first question. He skipped over to the third. “I am… I was a prototype created by CyberLife to assist law enforcement. It would be safer for you if I said nothing further.”

Unable to imagine an android like this working with the police, you guessed he’d looked different, before. More like a standard android instead of one so altered he was nearly unrecognizable.

“Okay, I won’t pry,” you said, amassing all your willpower not to assault him with more questions, the biggest one being why do you look like something out of my deepest, darkest, most shameful wetdream? Yes, you were definitely not venturing into that territory.

Your next question was caught on a yawn, and you looked away as your face grew warm. He was just an android, why were you being so self-conscious about every little thing you did?

It could have been the way he’d watched you ever since you’d stumbled across him in the bushes: laser-like focus that never broke. It didn’t help that the sclera of his eyes were black, making the blue stand out even more.

Also, he didn’t blink. Like, ever.

“I’m gonna head to bed.” You thumbed over your shoulder toward the hallway. “Will you be all right out here? Do you need anything?”

“Yes,” he said. “And no.”

You were picking up on his mannerisms very quickly. He over-enunciated and spoke with perfect grammar. It was in direct contrast to the way his sharp nails toyed with the sweater, or the way his ears would swivel at sounds you barely noticed. At some points in the conversation, he would tilt his head at you in a way that was so dog-like, you had to keep fighting down the smiles. You’d definitely never met an android like this one before, even if he had looked perfectly human.

“I will be fine,” the RK900 added when you continued to stare. “I will rest and repair. I have neglected to enter stasis mode for… quite some time now.”

His eyes dropped to the carpet, demeanor evasive and uncomfortable. It took everything you had not to reach out and pet him on the head.

“I shouldn’t intrude in your personal space. I will be gone in the morning.”

And then you did reach out, placing your hand on his arm. He was solid and surprisingly warm under the fabric of the sweater.

He stared at your hand for a moment before slowly lifting his head to meet your eye. His expression was so… sad. You had no doubt it was authentic, and that you were right about what he was.

“Please, you don’t have to go.” Your voice was soft, ensuring it was a suggestion and not a command. “You’re more than welcome to stay. I want to help you. Will you let me do that?”

The ring on his temple was a solid yellow and you nearly pulled your hand back, but then it went blue and he gave a small nod. You sighed with relief and gave him a gentle pat before letting him go.

“Thank you.” You rose to your feet, stretching to get the kinks out of your shoulders. It was stressful bringing a wayward android home. “I’m just down the hall if you need me. See you in the morning.”

Before you made it to the hallway, you paused and half-turned.

“Do you have a name?”

He blinked up at your question.

“I mean, I know RK900 is your model number, but… you have a name, don’t you?”

His ears drooped. You were learning they were a better indicator of his thoughts than the color of his LED.

“No. CyberLife never gave me one.”

Of course they wouldn’t, you thought, not the first time you’d unhappy with the way androids were treated. CyberLife was by far the worst. Why would they care about any of their merchandise?

“Well, maybe you can come up with one.” You hoped he understood the things you weren’t saying aloud, that you understood what he really was beneath the strange exterior.

His ears perked up and his expression softened.

“That… would be nice.”

Before you could say anything to embarrass yourself, or worse, run over to him and give him a hug, you excused yourself to get ready for bed. Already your mind was going through a checklist of all the things you’d need to care for an android in the long-run, and that was being optimistic. The RK900 could still change his mind. There was still so much you didn’t know.

It wasn’t until you shut off the lights and stared at the ceiling that the implications of your actions truly hit you. You’d seen the news reports, read the independent websites that couldn’t be suppressed by CyberLife. There were androids out there, said to be “lethally malfunctioning,” that were disobeying and turning on their humans.

One of the most common signs to watch out for was mimicry of human emotions. Anger, was the main one, but there was also fear. And that was something you’d seen a lot of tonight shining out of the RK900’s eyes.

You weren’t just harboring an android that looked like a werewolf.

You were sheltering a deviant.

[hopelikethemoon]

First Week (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: First Week Rating: PG-13 Length: 1500 Warnings: Post-Pregnancy discussions about body changes. Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set in May 1993.  Summary: Reader gets used to her first week as a mother.

@grapemama @seawhisperer @huliabitch @pedropascalito @rogrsnbarnes @thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns @gooddaykate @livasaurasrex @ham4arrow @plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn @lokiaddicted @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale  @roxypeanut @snivellusim @lukesrighthand @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @exrebelshocktrooper @awesomefandomsunited @ah-callie @swhiskeys @lady-tano @beskar-droids @space-floozy @cable-kenobi @cool-ultra-nerd @himbopoes @findhimfives @pedrosdoll @frietiemeloen @arrowswithwifi @random066 @uncomicalhumour @heather-lynn @domino-oh-damn @cyarikaaa @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage @ksgeekgirl  @yabby-girl @xqueenofthecraziesx @punkass-potato @coredrive​ @pascalesque @theduchessofkirkcaldy @queenquazar @sabinemorans @buckstaposition @holkaskrosnou @yespolkadotkitty @fleetwoodmactshirt @seeking-a-great–perhaps

“She’s so little,” Javier said quietly, keeping one hand on Josie’s back as she snoozed on his chest. “I can’t believe we made her.”

You smiled at him, drawing your knees to your chest, as you leaned back against the arm of the sofa and watched him. It really was hard to believe that the two of you had made something so perfect. 

Josie had been home for all of a week and somehow it felt like your entire life had been changed for the better. Sure, you still felt like shit after delivering an entire little human being and you hadn’t gotten more then three hours of sleep each night… but life was good. 

“Are you staying tonight?” You questioned, resting your chin on your folded arms against your knees.

“Yeah,” He nodded with a grin. “Gotta be up fucking early, but you’ve got me for the night.”

“Maternity leave is the strangest thing,” You told him with a shake of your head. “I miss being in the office.”

“It’s fucking weird without you, baby.” Javier told you, stretching his leg out to nudge your foot with his. “I miss pulling faces when Chris makes an ass out of himself.”

“So all the time?” You laughed, shaking your head. There was still a lingering fear that the DEA would make maternity leave become a permanent thing. That you would never return to work. 

“I should be home early tomorrow,” He told you. 

“Home here or your apartment?”

“Here.” Javier smiled at you, “I don’t want to miss a moment of this.”

“I don’t want you to either,” You smiled at him, before you moved to get up off the sofa. “I should probably put her down for the night.”

“You gonna feed her?”

You nodded, “If I want a couple of hours of sleep, yeah.” 

“Can I—“

You leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead as you took Josie from him, “Yes, you can watch.” She rolled her eyes. 

Javier followed you down the hallway, into your bedroom, shutting off the lights in the living room and hall. 

Josie fussed in your arms, whimpering as you cradled her against your chest with one arm, fixing the pillows on the bed with your other hand. 

“Where do they have you going tomorrow?”

“Villavicencio.” Javier answered as he stretched out on the bed, raking his fingers through his hair. “We’re taking the chopper so it should be quick in-quick out.”

“Can you time with my mid-afternoon nap?” You teased lightly.

“Maybe.” He grinned at you, “When are you usually napping?”

“Between three and four.” You answered, shifting Josie into the crook of your arm as you peeled up your tank top. “I hate how they look,” You told him honestly.

Javier’s brows furrowed, “Baby, you gave birth to a baby.” He reached out and rested his hand on your stomach, fanning his fingers out against your skin. “You’re perfect to me.”

Your cheeks burned and you grabbed the small pillow beside you, using it to prop up your arm as you situated Josie’s mouth against your breast. She latched on with ease, sucking at your nipple as she fed.

“You don’t fool me, Javier.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “You’ve always been a breast man.”

“I won’t lie,” Javier chuckled. “They do look really nice.”

“They don’t look nice when I leak through my bra whenever she cries.” You reached over and played your fingers through his hair. “But I appreciate the compliment.”

Javier rubbed his hand over your stomach. “She’s going to town.”

You brushed your thumb over Josie’s cheek as she drank, “I’m hoping to get her into more of a pattern. It’s gonna suck when my leave is over. I ordered a pump yesterday.”

“Yeah?”

“Hopefully I can pump when I get back into the office.” You sighed, rubbing your lips together slowly. “I really want to keep breastfeeding.”

“If you need me to say anything…”

“I can handle it.” You assured him.

Javier leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your shoulder. “I know you can.” He said before falling quiet for a few minutes. He laid beside you, contentedly watching you feed Josie. “How is.. everything healing?”

“I birthed a watermelon a week ago.” You answered bluntly, “A small one, but still a watermelon. With limbs.”

He gave you a sympathetic look, “Are you still bleeding?”

“A little,” You shrugged. “Welcome to being a woman.” You looked down at Josie, smiling warmly. “She’s worth all the weird sensations.”

“Weird?”

You made a face, “I called the hospital today because I felt like I was having a contraction.” He seemed to pale somewhat at that statement. “I wasn’t.” You assured him, “But apparently that’s part of this—“ You gestured to your lower stomach. “Going back to normal.”

“Jesus-fucking-Christ.”

“I do not blame you if you never want to go near there again.”

He huffed, “I’m looking forward to things recovering.”

“It might be different.”

“Good thing I’m here for you then.”

You smiled, “You know, Javi… you’ve really surprised me.” You admitted, swallowing thickly around a surge of emotions. “Shit. Sorry. My emotions are still—“

Javier cut you off with a kiss, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

Josie released her hold on your nipple, fussing in your hold. “I need to burp her.”

“Can I?”

Your brows furrowed as you looked towards Javier then. He really was trying to do as much as he could when he was home with you. He’d already missed so much and you hated to think of how much more he’d miss. 

The situation wasn’t ideal, but you were making the most of it. You carefully pass Josie to him, keeping a hand securely on the back of her head until Javier had his hand there. “Let me grab the towel.” You moved gingerly off the bed, not even caring that your tank was still pulled up above your breasts. 

You returned with the burping cloth, situating it over his shoulder so he could burp her. “Gentle pants and circle movements. Like you’ve seen me do.”

He nodded slowly as he followed your directions, gently stroking Josie’s back, before parting lightly. It was only a matter of moments before she burped, spitting up a little milk before sighing happily.

“I’ll be right back,” You told him as you took Josie out of his arms to put down in the nursery. You’d probably get a good two hours before she woke up again — you wanted to seize on the opportunity.

On the way back to the bedroom, you stopped in the kitchen to grab the damp cloth you kept in the freezer. “You know, Javi…” You started as you pushed open the bedroom door, smiling at his sleepy expression. “I don’t think I could have ever pictured you being so… amenable to all of this.”

“Why?” 

You shrugged, laying down beside him and applying to compress over your nipple. The cool cloth helped relieve the tenderness in your breast. It really was a strange sensation to grapple with in the wake of feeding Josie. 

“I don’t know,” You admitted. “I expected you to be very against all of this. Preconceived notions and all of that.”

Javier frowned, reaching over to rest his hand against your stomach again. “I’m all in, baby. I meant it when I told you that. I’m here for the good, the bad, and the—“ He stumbled over his words, “Are you supposed to be leaking like that?”

“Shit.” You sat up quickly, reaching for the burping cloth he’d used to burp her. “No. I mean, it’s normal, but no.” You shook your head. “This is an all day issue.”

He chewed on his bottom lip, “Why does it happen?”

“Hormones, mostly.” You explained. “I didn’t use both to feed her so… this shit happens.” You sighed heavily. “It’s a nightmare.”

“As long as you’re alright, baby.”

You smiled softly at him, “I’m just happy you’re here.” 

“Me too.” He rubbed a hand over his face, “I tried to get here last night but…” Javier’s lips spread into a thin line. “Had to work late.”

You knew what that meant. Only, it didn’t mean what it used to mean. “I don’t care how late you are. You’ve got a key.”

“I’m really hoping to be wrapped up early tomorrow. I can pick us up something on the way over. We can have dinner together.”

“You’re speaking my language.” You rolled onto your side to face him, tilting your chin to press a kiss to his lips as he turned to meet you. “I’m glad you’re willing to put up with all of this.”

You gestured vaguely over your body and your heart clenched when Javier frowned. His entire expression seemed to sour and you worried that you’d said something wrong. 

“Baby, I mean it when I say you’re perfect. Leaky tits and all.”

“Even though I still look pregnant?” You questioned, scrunching up your nose as you met his gaze. 

“You’re perfect.” He repeated, cupping your cheek. “You carried our daughter for nine months and then gave birth to her.”

Alone.

It was unspoken, but there nonetheless. Just like it always was. 

“And if anyone says anything to the contrary,” Javier threatened with a wry smirk. “I love every inch of you.”

You kissed him again, letting your lips linger against his as you sighed and pressed your forehead to his. “You’re a good man, Javi.”

“I’m alright.” He chuckled. “We should sleep.”

“What time do you need to be up?”

“Three.”

“Fuck.” You swatted his chest lightly, “You’re going to need my nap tomorrow.”

“We can nap together.”

“I like the sound of that,” You smiled at him, before rolling over to face away from him. “Wake me up when you leave, please.”

“I will.” He curled his arm around you, keeping you pressed against him. “Sleep tight, baby.”

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 2638

after i posted last night i learned asshole LEFT. hallelujah.

today i was so busy that i checked my phone a few hours into my day and my battery was at 95%. i checked my phone around midnight and it was at 49%. if that doesn't tell you how busy i was today, i don't think anything will. for fuck's sake, i did three panels back to back to back, all in a row, all rapid fire, and all with almost no turnaround time because we wanted to fit another panel in of monster plushie making. which we did.

fifteen minutes of fabric cutting. an hour and fifteen of monster plush. fifteen minutes of cleanup from the monsters and setup for the big panel. i discovered just before the end of the monster plush panel i was gonna be running the terrarium panel, too. so. i counted my stuff and set it up, i had people who had stayed put out table covers, and it went well enough that i didn't need to turn people away, and that those who didn't get plants were understanding and kind. i had twenty five plants. i otherwise had supplies for sixty nine terrariums. (nice.) i had eight leftover bowls. it went well. it actually ended early. i could clean up a little slower, take my time a little more.

fifteen minutes of setup for the woodland creatures, and i had people come in and we went to town on these little projects. they were felt backgrounds in quilting hoops, and each person picked an animal pattern and felt they wanted to use for their animal and grabbed glue and scissors and cut out their patterns and made their forest creatures and they came up to grab flowers to add a finishing touch and they wound up being so cute!! i wish i had gotten to make one. i might at some point, just at home. christmas gifts, and all.

i had my lunch delivered around 1 or 2.

i didn't get to stop and eat until 3:30.

in the bigger gap between terrariums and woodland creatures i got the chance to load up a cart with a lot of the crafting supplies in the room. people came in to tear down the electronics, which was nice to have that out of the way, but they also helped my put stuff out there. i had people come tell me repeatedly that they didn't want me doing everything by myself again. i guess word got around that i'm my own staff. ha.

it didn't take long after the last people left from woodland creatures for me to be fully packed and loaded up, maybe 45 minutes or so. and i was totally done. so i went to jess's office and sat down, and after a bit i went almost fully catatonic.

me: *runs three long panels in a row, not stopping to eat or sit or drink anything in between*

also me: "why am i so tired"

i just kinda sat there in a more or less vegetative state until i was told the room was closing, so i vaguely forced myself up and to hold things as i dragged myself and my shit to my room, not even being able to grab my key and open the door. i got inside, let go of everything and shoved my bag strap off my shoulder instead of lifting it over my head, and i stepped out. hannah and tom brought me and my stuff to the room, and i said "hey guys watch this" and i jumped like a plank and face planted onto the bed. it was so fuckin satisfying. i ended up staying in the room for a while because my job was done, and i needed to prepare for my exam tomorrow, so i asked about food and went to queen in creating my cheat sheet.

forty minutes later joel asks "are you coming for food" and i check the time and go "huh. look at that." i'd lost total track of time. but i was mostly done with it.

i got food and hung out with people and chilled for a bit. that was nice.

around midnight i came back to finish up my work, and i got done with it about half an hour ago. so it's time for sleep until the morning. hopefully i sleep better than i have so far here. these beds are like bricks.

i'm just happy joel is here. he's so good to me.

[m00nycore]

𝙒𝙄𝙏𝙃 𝘼𝙇𝙇 𝙊𝙁 𝙈𝙔 𝙎𝙏𝙐𝙋𝙄𝘿 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝙍𝙏 ;; 𝙩𝙬𝙤 .

𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙥𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙠𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 .

𝙎𝙀𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙎 𝙈𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏

𝙙𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙛𝙤𝙮 𝙭 𝙤𝙘 (𝙖𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙪𝙥 𝙗𝙮 𝙩𝙬𝙤 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨)

𝙩/𝙬 : 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙥𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙡𝙮 𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙩𝙤𝙭𝙞𝙘 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥, 𝙙𝙚𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣, 𝙥𝙡𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙪𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧

𝙏𝘼𝙂𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏 ;; @dreaming-about-fanfictions @aesthetic-el @lord-byron​ @drxcomvlfx​

Green apples and toast.

It’s what Draco had been sending to her room every day, according to Poppy. He had asked the elf- kindly, she said- to make sure she was eating and to find out what she wanted.

Everyday, Wren couldn’t help but give the same response. Draco had somehow chosen the food from the first day very well. The two weeks they spent at the manor before they went to Hogwarts was only endurable because of her carefully crafted routine.

Wren was an early riser. Six o’clock was her preferred wake-up time, and she began her day by sitting in a bath with the water so hot that it burned the entire time.

Poppy would bring her an apple soon after, as well as a pitcher of water and a cup. In the morning, her appetite was small. She would eat the apple in the tub, and when she was done, she’d exit the bath. Wren got dressed, and headed to the gardens by seven-thirty.

Wren stayed outside in the gardens, aimlessly wandering to kill times. She would return into the manor at noon, and she refused lunch from Poppy.

The best part of her day was the visit to the library, a room that was immaculate, but untouched for the most part. The room was huge, almost as large as her manor’s. The Malfoy family didn’t seem the type to read obsessively the way she did. She would take a few books out and return to her room.

By the time she had devoured each novel, Aegis nestled into her side, Poppy brought her dinner- toast and a green apple. As she ate, she asked Poppy to keep her company. The two would talk every night.

She would learn every detail of Poppy’s day, which comforted her. The Malfoy’s had a few house elves, and Poppy was becoming friendly with them. In turn, Poppy listened with wonder in her eyes as Wren described each book she had read to her.

At nine at night, she would lay in bed, waiting to be able to sleep. Many hours later, she was swept into a dreamless sleep.

The irony of her given name almost made her laugh- she was Persephone, trapped in the unforgiving Underworld. The green apple had been her pomegranate seed, and Draco was unwillingly her Hades.

Since the night in the gardens, the two hadn’t spoken, nor had Wren returned the ring to her finger. It would all change tomorrow, she knew, but she was strangely numb to it all. The monotony had gotten to her. 

Narcissa knocked on her door again that night, just as Wren was packing her trunk to return to school the following morning. As far as she knew, neither of them had left the house- save the time they ventured to Knockturn Alley. Poppy had told her about it.

“Good evening, Mrs. Malfoy,” she greeted.

Narcissa smiled at her, strained, standing by the door. She glanced at the ring that sat atop her pile of clothes.

“That was Lucius’ great-grandmother’s,” she commented, smiling softly. “My ring was passed down from his maternal grandmother, to his mother, to me. That ring was always meant to be yours.”

Wren studied the ring, a soft smile of her own growing on her face. “It’s beautiful. I suppose it’s fitting,” she decided, meeting Narcissa’s eyes. “Being Draco’s favorite color... it only makes sense that his bride-to-be sports it. He also likes silver, if I’m not mistaken, so the band is fitting as well.”

There was a pause.

“I know he was cruel to you, Persephone.”

She couldn’t help but wonder if she meant the time in the gardens, during their time at Hogwarts, or whilst they grew up together.

“We have a plan in the works,” Narcissa continued. “Draco can fill you in. He’s clever, he thought it up himself,” she hesitated. “Would you go talk to him, Persephone?”

Wren studied Narcissa, considering. “Yes,” she eventually answered.

Narcissa nodded and exited.

The walk to Draco’s room was rather confusing, as she had no clue where to find it. 

She passed a house elf cleaning the banisters, and knelt down.

“Hello,” she greeted. The elf looked at her warily. “I’m Persephone,” she introduced herself.

“Oh! Yes, our new mistress Persephone. Please forgive Dilly, ma’am!” the elf cowered, making her heart break. She had a feeling that Lucius Malfoy’s cruelty wouldn’t make an exception for house elves.

Wren smiled kindly. “Hush, now,” she soothed. “I don’t mind. You don’t even have to call me mistress. Dilly, you said?” the elf nodded. “It’s nice to meet you, Dilly... do you perhaps know my elf, Poppy?”

The elf nodded. “Yes ma’am!” he squeaked. “Poppy told Dilly all about Mistress Persephone’s kindness! Poppy loves Mistress Persephone very much!”

“That makes me happy to hear, thank you,” she told the elf. “If you don’t mind me asking, where is Draco’s room?”

Dilly perked up. “Dilly can show you, ma’am! Is Master Malfoy expecting you?”

“I’m not sure,” she murmured, rising to her feet. “Would you care to walk with me, Dilly?” she reached her hand out for the elf to take.

“Yes ma’am!” he exclaimed, accepting her hand. 

As they walked, Dilly explained that he had been working for the Malfoy’s for many years. He held an obvious respect for the family, but Wren could see that it was built upon fear, regardless of if Dilly knew that or not.

When they arrived at Draco’s room, she looked down at Dilly, releasing her hand from his.

“Thank you, Dilly,” she said, grateful. “I’ll see you soon, hopefully!”

Dilly’s eyes lit up. “It was Dilly’s pleasure, Mistress Persephone!”

As Dilly ran off to finish her cleaning, Draco’s door opened.

He looked just as bad as when she saw him last. He wore his usual black suit, and his hands were in his pockets. 

“I’ll never understand your fascination with house elves,” he stated, the usual, insufferable tone in his voice.

“Must you always speak like you’re about to spit at someone?” 

He sneered, just as she predicted.

“Anyway, I’m not fascinated by them. I just think they’re such lovely souls. Especially my Poppy,” she was smiling.

“Why are you here Bardick?” Draco’s arms were crossed across his chest.

Wren’s brow crinkled. “To speak to you. Tomorrow we’re breaking the news of our engagement, after all.”

“I suppose you’ll be breaking up with Zabini then?”

She crinkled her nose. “Blaise and I are hardly even worthy of the term friends. Don’t get your knickers in a twist just because I rejected you for the ball and ended up taking him instead.”

Draco was still scowling. “Well, come in then,” he snapped, opening his door.

His room was as much of a prison as her’s was. 

Wren was baffled at how, despite living in the room for eighteen years, there was hardly any proof of his residence. His belonging were present, of course, but there was no personal style... it looked almost like a guest room rather than the room of the family heir.

They stood, awkwardly, across from each other until Wren turned to an armchair and sunk in it. 

“Your plan?” she wasted no time getting to business- after all, she knew that neither of them would make a move to acknowledge or apologize for the night in the gardens. It wasn’t their way. 

Draco sighed, going to sit on the edge of his extravagant bed, and running a hand over his face. He was frightened inside. 

“There’s a vanishing cabinet,” he began. “One in Borgin and Burkes.”

Wren nodded, aware of the plan immediately. It was hard not to hear about Montague’s near-death experience with the one in Hogwarts.

“So you’re sneaking them in the school,” she stated, prompting him to nod. “Before or after you kill our Headmaster?”

He was quiet. She already knew the answer- before. He would be grasping at any chance to have someone else take Dumbledore’s life.

“Draco, I know you’re-.”

“You don’t know anything,” he hissed. “He chose me! It’s my time!”

Wren ignored him. “As much as I hate to admit it, I’m here to help you. I know it’s scary, I know you don’t want to- hell, I don’t even want to help, but I don’t want to die. I couldn’t imagine having to carry out the deed.”

He was quiet, staring at her with an unreadable expression.

“So, this is Draco Malfoy’s room, hm? You should open the curtains more... you don’t look like you’ve seen the sun in ages.”

Malfoy smirked. “You’re one to talk, Bardick,” he teased, taking in the girl’s pale, sickly appearance. She swam in the large sweater she wore. As corpse-like as she could appear, her beauty could not be mistaken.

“I’ve been in the gardens every day, Draco,” she countered. “I’ve been busy.”

Draco almost looked... sympathetic. “It’s quite pathetic,” he commented. “Seeing you force yourself walk around for six hours.”

“You watch me in the garden, how sweet. Already so attentive of your bride-to-be.”

He snorted, a ghost of a smile on his face. He looked down at the ring.

“Have you eaten?” he asked, suddenly. 

“No,” she admitted. “Poppy must be looking for me. It’s around this time that I have to stomach my toast and apple.”

Draco shook his head, angry again. “You’re ridiculous,” he spat. “Think starving yourself would get you out of the mission, do you?”

“I’m not hungry.”

He stood suddenly, and walked forward to grab her wrist.

“Get off,” she ordered, a murderous edge to her voice. “What the hell are you doing?” 

“Having dinner with my fiancée,” he replied, through gritted teeth.

[blvirz]

Living Life Through a Lens: Chapter Twenty-Four(A)

Word Count: 8.4K

Warnings: swearing lol?

x

[10:00 AM KST, flashback. Nine days before the premiere]

Standing in front of the large window in your living room with a warm coffee in your hands, you watched as the dark clouds came rolling in and the droplets of rain start to hit your window. The warmness you got from your coffee was a nice contrast to how cold it was outside. Jennie had gone off to work, and you and Lex were just about to head to your office at YG to get a head start on packing up your things. Another documentary was done. Is it really time to leave?

While lost in your thoughts, you looked at the tiny cars that were driving on the road below you. It was a few minutes later when you heard footsteps coming from around the corner and turning to look, you saw Lex with a few folded boxes in her hands. Watching as she placed them on the couch, she walked over to you, threw her arm around your shoulder and rested her head against it. Now both of you stood in front of the window, hearing the rain patter and observing all the commotion that was going on forty floors down.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked.

It was about a little over a week away from the release of the documentary and the only thing you had left to do was the final meeting with your company and then the premiere. So, for the past few days, you thought endlessly about how everyone would receive the documentary and your future.

Will they like it? Hopefully. Is there another job? Probably. Can you manage a long-distance relationship if there is one? Yes. I thought you wanted a break? I do. Could you see yourself staying here? Yes. Were the questions and thoughts that filled your head, but each time you thought about it, your answers would change. Unsure of how to break it to Lex, you just stood there quietly thinking.

“You want to stay here don’t you?” she asked, and when you looked at her she didn’t look away from the window.

How she managed to figure that out you had no idea. Still looking at her in awe, you spoke. Tripping over your words as you did, “What– How? How did you figure that out?”

“As we get closer to the premiere, the more often I find you lost in your thoughts. Like you’re trying your best to remember as much of this place as you can. As if you're never going to see it again.”

“I do?” you blurted out. Internally you were shaking your head. You know you do this.

Just the other day, you caught yourself doing it while on a coffee run with Jisoo. And when she had asked you what you were staring at, it led to a deep conversation that you weren’t expecting to have so early in the morning. Perhaps it was better that way though. To have your thoughts be unfiltered and forced to come out.

“No I’m kidding– I mean yes you do, but I also got an email from the landlord the other day about a certain inquiry. Something about… extending the lease.” Lex admitted.

“Oh wow. Okay. That makes more sense,” you said as you both laughed. Lex knew you well, but you hadn’t brought up anything remotely close or given the hint that you were thinking of staying, so when she figured it out, you were shocked, to say the least.

Continuing on you said, “well you’re right anyway. I do want to stay. But–”

“–but what? Stay here Y/N. If that’s what’s going to make you happy, then do it. Just be happy. Stay.” Rarely ever did Lex interject and so when she did, you knew she wasn’t holding back. This was as raw and as honest as she was going to get. For months you considered the move to South Korea. And as the days passed, the thoughts only seemed to become more intense and all-consuming.

There were the cons, which when you really thought about it, wasn’t a long list. But the things on that list weren’t small. You had your whole life back home. Your family, friends, routine… Of course, it wasn't like you didn’t have the option to fly back and see them, but everything that you knew was back home. The word comfort came to mind.

Then there were the pros of moving here. At the top of that very list was your relationships, not only your relationship with Jennie, but the other friendships you had made with Lisa, Rosé, Jisoo, and their friends. Then there was the fact that this would be new, exciting and just the thing you needed to force you into taking a break like you had always wanted but could never commit to. One more job was what you always said.

“I’m still deciding. How many days do I have on the lease?” you asked.

Lex stood there with her eyebrows furrowed, thinking. “If I read the email correctly… you have a bit over two weeks to decide.”

//

[9:30 AM KST, present day. Three days before the premiere]

Yesterday, sources say that Universal Director Y/N Y/L/N was involved in a biking accident. She is expected to recover and will be released from the hospital later today. With her documentary being released on Friday, we are still waiting on a statemen–

“Wow. They work fast. Did Ethan leak that?” you said as you turned your head slowly toward Lex, who was seated next to your bed. She felt so bad for not being able to answer the phone when the hospital called, and so for the last day and a half that you were being kept for observation in the hospital, she never once left your side.

You were a bit shocked to see that it wasn’t Lex who you saw first in the emergency room. Part of you was glad because if you saw her first there was no telling in what you would have done. It was a tossup between you both ugly crying or her beating the shit out of you. And so, you were glad when you saw Jennie and Rosé standing there. Only one thing ran through your mind, you had to play a joke on them.

So, exactly in like the drama you had seen with the girls the day before, you pretended that you had amnesia and had no clue who they were. Your acting was spot on but you couldn’t hold it together for long, and as soon as you saw their jaws drop you had never laughed so hard in your life.

Other than the broken wrist and a few stitches that were near your temple, you felt fine. A little sore, but it wasn’t anything serious. During the first night in the hospital, you didn’t understand why they were keeping you, and when you asked Lex she said, “you had a concussion and they wanted to keep you overnight to see if your symptoms worsen. If nothing happens, you will be discharged tomorrow.”

It was tomorrow, and currently, you sat in the bed waiting for the doctor to come in and give you a checkup. Each time the doctor came in you couldn’t keep up with the medical jargon that he and the nurses were spewing, and so you just sat there and winced in pain every time he poked and prodded in the spots where it hurt. You trusted that Lex or Jennie were listening anyway. While you waited, you hoped that everything would be fine and he would give the ‘okay’ for you to leave.

As much as this stay in the hospital was a nice break from work, the only thing you craved was to get back to it and have it released on Friday like it was scheduled. Because she wanted you to recover, Lex took all your calls and answered all your emails. She wouldn’t even let you talk to Ethan when he had called.

“Are you two going to let me go into work today?” you asked, looking from Jennie to Lex, and before they could answer there was a knock on the door.

Fixing your posture and straightening your clothes, you shouted “you can come in.”

The people that walked through the door were the doctor and two nurses that routinely came in to check on you. One of the nurses held a small bag with tiny bottles inside, and the other held a silver tray. Which you had come to learn, held an assortment of surgical tools required for fixing up your stitches. You couldn’t help but shiver at the sight of them.

After the doctor was done checking both your arm and stitches, he stepped back to examine his work. When something caught his eye, he went back to tending to your stitches, and while doing so he spoke.

“So I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that you’ve gathered quite the crowd of people downstairs; a lot of them with cameras and microphones. But the good news is that you seem to be doing fine and that I’m going to clear you. You will be free to leave, but I recommend taking it easy for today. Don’t jump right into things. Many others and I included, are looking forward to your documentary’s release.” You were stunned when you heard the last sentence. Never once did he give the notion that he knew you, or mention anything related to your work. It would be odd if he did you suppose. He was a doctor, not a news reporter.

Trying your best not to be embarrassed you told him thanks for both fixing you up and waiting patiently for the release of the documentary. When he sensed that you were uncomfortable, he said a few words about the medicine that he would be giving you. Shortly after, he and the nurses bowed politely and left the room.

…

Walking through the door of your apartment you immediately felt more relaxed. No longer was there the overwhelming and nauseating smell of the hospital. But if you breathed in deeply, you could still smell the stench of metal, alcohol and other sterilizing chemicals that were soaked into your clothes.

Upon entering the kitchen, you saw three of the largest bouquets you had ever seen in your life. With your right arm, you plucked each of the letters that were placed in the midst of the flowers. You smiled as you read the messages. One was from YG Entertainment, one from the girls, and the last one from your company.

“Alright Y/N, you heard the doctor earlier. Let’s take it easy today, okay?” you heard Jennie say as she pushed lightly on your back to get you moving toward your bedroom.

As much as you wanted to get back to work, you simply didn't have the energy to, and so without any objections, you walked with her to your shared room. While Jennie pulled the covers over you and handed you the remote to the TV, you asked her if you could still have the movie night with the girls as you had planned. She stood there considering it for a while, and to your surprise, she said that she would ask them.

…

[8:20 PM KST. Three days before the premiere]

“So, what happened? We all would have gone to the hospital, but the company said it wasn’t a good idea for us all to go and cause a commotion for all the patients there. We’re sorry we couldn’t come, but we’re just glad that Jennie could go,” said Lisa with an apologetic expression on her face, and when you looked around, all the other girls had the same expression.

You nudged her with your free hand and said, “don’t apologize. I understand. But also, it’s nothing crazy… I went for a run in the morning and while I was making my way down the path there was a cyclist who wasn't paying attention, lost control and ran into me. With just my luck, I couldn’t stick the landing, and managed to fall awkwardly on my wrist while also hitting my head on a jagged rock.”

All of the girls including Jennie and Lex, who have heard the story before, sat there with their mouths hung open and concerned looks covering their faces. “I am fine guys. Really I am. Now keep eating,” you said while looking at the food.

It took a while, but eventually, the girls stopped being so overprotective with you and it was back to normal. In fact, they had grown so comfortable that one of them had managed to run into your bruised back, causing you to wince in pain. It was purely accidental of course, but that didn’t stop them from all freezing and asking you if you were okay a billion times over. Though the second time it happened it was Lisa, and right away she earned a scolding from the rest of her members.

“It was by accident, that will happen. I will be okay,” you said trying to reassure them. Lisa was naturally playful, and none of it was her fault.

To take some of the heat off of Lisa, you thought about putting on a different and much more interesting movie, but none of them seemed to want to sit there and be quiet. All of them just wanted to talk and joke around, so instead, you all sat around your living room table, eating and doing just that.

Looking around the table, you saw that Rosé this time was playing referee between Lisa and Jisoo. Jisoo had the remote in her hands and was desperately trying to change the movie that was playing on the TV, while Lisa who was behind Rosé, tried her best to get to the remote. “Just please let it play for a few minutes! We’re getting to the good part!” Lisa yelled.

This is what I needed. The chaos of my own home, not the hospital’s.

Directly across from the commotion was where Jennie and Lex sat, and from the looks of it, they were in a deep discussion that you didn't really care to listen to. It’s not that you didn’t want to, just that you wanted to soak this whole evening in. Taking the time to appreciate how simple it was, as well as the good company you were surrounded by.

[12:23 PM KST. One day before the premiere]

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” you asked Lex as you sat on the floor struggling to tie the laces on your shoes with one hand. Had the accident happened any earlier, you definitely would have gone insane. Editing with one hand? No. Just no.

Lex, who was probably stressed just watching you, quickly bent down on the ground next to you and double knotted your laces. “Yes. I’m sure. Now go have fun! I will catch you up to speed on what Ethan has to say. Remember you have dinner with him later. He arrives later today. 6 PM, don't be late.”

“Okay…” you said in a way that was more of a question than an answer.

Once you stood up, she dusted you off, straightened your clothes, including the sling holding your arm, and lightly shoved you out of the apartment. “Now go, please. And please be safe this time! Please,” she overstated. Every time you left her sight, whether it was walking to the kitchen to get a glass of water, leaving to take a shower or going to bed, she always said those exact same words. And every single time you rolled your eyes.

Jennie had left for work in the morning and was waiting for you in the car downstairs. She had called you earlier to tell you that her practices and meetings ended earlier than expected, and asked if you and Lex wanted to come join the girls for a day out in the city. While you agreed to go, Lex insisted that she stay back at the apartment and go over the final details of tomorrow's meeting and press conference. She didn’t want any surprises this time around.

…

Everyone at the table sat quietly, and the only things you could hear were the sounds coming from the other people that filled the restaurant. The clinking of the glasses, the clatter of the utensils hitting the table, the yelling from the chef in the kitchen, and the mumbled conversations of the people around you. There was noise coming from every corner of the room, except for the one you and the girls sat in.

You had also noticed that a few tables away a man was sitting at a table all alone. He wore all black clothing, wore a black hat that covered his face and had his phone out to either record or take photos of you all at the table. Whenever you were out with the girls there was always one person or a couple people recording, but even after countless sit-down meals and various other outings, you could never get used to it. You were just glad that he was trying to keep it lowkey and wasn’t shoving a camera in the girls’ faces. Once you were sure he wasn’t dangerous, you relaxed back in your seat and continued to eat your food.

When you looked around at Lisa, Rosé and Jisoo, they all sat silently in their seats pushing the food on their plates around with the utensils they had in their hands. Ever since you and Jennie arrived at the restaurant, the three of them seemed unamused and had a downcast mood.

At first, you didn’t think anything of it. Having been on tour, there were times where team dinners were so quiet that nobody said a word at the table besides their order. Which was understandable, because you had seen just how much energy they put into their concerts. But two things threw you off this time. For one, their schedules had ended early so it couldn't have been the issue of being tired, and two, Jennie didn’t share the same unhappy attitude her members had. What is going on here?

Turning to look at Jennie, she was preoccupied with eating the food that was on her plate, and despite her members looking upset, she didn’t seem to notice. To get her attention you nudged her and gave a look in the direction of each member as if to ask what was wrong, and she shrugged.

Finally having enough, you asked what was wrong. “Alright, I’ll bite. What’s wrong?”

Jisoo looked at both Rosé and Lisa and didn't say a word. So, you looked between Lisa and Rosé, desperately searching for an answer. It was either they couldn’t decide who should be the one to speak or none of them wanted to answer at all, you couldn't quite figure that out. After yet another long silence, Rosé cleared her throat. Finally.

Your eyes widened and you froze as you saw Rosé reach for a tissue and start to dab her eyes as she began to explain, “we were thinking about this last night on the way back to the dorm from your apartment. With the premiere tomorrow, we only have a few days left with you before you leave Korea… Y/N, we’re really going to miss having you here. Although you don’t sing or dance, you… you and Lex, have become a part of our group. We’re just sad to see you go.”

In the corner of your eye, you could see Lisa reach for something on the table and when you looked, you saw her start to cry too. Jisoo, who sat in between her two members, rubbed their shoulders in an attempt to comfort them. Your heart warmed at the thought of them missing you. And as much as it hurt you to see them cry, you were also happy to be able to tell them what you and Jennie had discussed this morning.

[flashback]

As you looked over to look at your bedside clock, you felt Jennie get up in the bed next to you. It was a couple hours after midnight, and just a few hours ago you had said bye to the rest of her members. For the last two days their schedules ended earlier than expected and each time they came home along with Jennie after work. Deep down you knew it was because they wanted to check in on you, but they refused to admit it and chalked it up to wanting you to try the food they had brought along with them.

In the bed beside you, Jennie turned on the lights on her side of the bed, sat posted up against the headboard, and in a very tired voice she asked you what was wrong. You were about to tell her that it was nothing when she asked, “are you still having a hard time deciding?”

For the past two weeks, you had been unable to sleep through the night, and you felt bad for waking Jennie up through all your tossing and turning. Especially since this wasn’t your first discussion on this specific topic; your indecisiveness got in the way of you being able to enjoy your dates, and now even your sleep. Tonight, you decided that you would come to a final decision. No more contemplating.

Jennie sighed as she took your hand in hers. Her thumb grazing over your skin as she spoke in a soft voice. “I just hope I’m not the only reason you’re thinking of staying here. No– that came out wrong. I– I meant like, I don’t want you to move here for m– No. That doesn’t sound right either. There really is no nice way to say it.”

Those weren’t exactly the words you were expecting to hear, and so sitting up from your lying position in the bed, you sat up, faced her, and asked her to clarify what she meant.

“Y/N. There are only so many ways I can say it, and they are all blunt. I’ve told you countless times already that you don’t have to move here right away, or even at all. I will be on tour for the next couple of months and we can figure something out as we go along. Return home for the meantime, and at the end of the tour, we can figure it ou–”

“And I get that. I jus–”

Jennie still continued, “–as much as I would love to have you with me always…”

“I sense there’s a but coming,” you interrupted yet again.

She continued, “but… I don’t expect you to move here for me, and I don’t want you to. Now don’t take this the wrong way, this is a big if. But if things were to get tough here, I don’t want you to resent me for making you move here just for me. So, do it for you.”

“You’re not the only reason. A big reason yes, but not the only one. Do you remember when we went for that walk in New Zealand? And how I told you about my breakup and about the plans I had made before taking this job?” you asked as you ran your free hand through your hair. Lately, that’s all you did, and at the rate you were going, pretty soon you were sure that there would be no hair left for you to run your fingers through.

Jennie nodded and smiled like she was remembering it. She then said, “I do. I remember that trip very clearly. You told me that you wanted to take a break to spend some time with your friends and family.”

“And that’s exactly what I wish to do. It’s not like I’m trapped here. I can always fly back home. I’m just tired of thinking about it. So I’ve decided that…”

Only a few seconds had passed and in the corner of your eye, you saw Jennie shifting in the bed beside you as she grew increasingly impatient.

“I’m staying here. I think part of me always knew, but I could never commit to it fully,” you said in a quiet voice. Before saying it out loud you were both nervous and unsure, but hearing it and having the words come out, you couldn't have felt more at peace with your decision. Glancing over to see Jennie’s reaction, you sat there and waited for her to react. She sat motionless beside you and you weren't sure if she had heard you at all.

But before you could ask, very swiftly she turned her whole body to face you and sprung herself onto you, and instinctively you turned your body in a way as to avoid her crashing into your injured arm. Luckily, when her body hit yours, she didn’t hit your wrist nor did she have enough momentum to make you both fall back against the bed.

Jennie’s arms were the first to connect with your body, and after they had landed around your shoulders, her chin was the next part of her body to hit. Landing right on your collarbone, but not hard enough to hurt you. And once you were sure that you were steady, you wrapped your arms around her and hugged her back as tightly as you could. “What happened to ‘I don’t want you to move here’” you mocked, using the exact words she had used minutes ago. You couldn’t see her, but you were sure she had rolled her eyes. For a few moments, she didn’t say a word and instead hugged you even tighter. When you were about to pull away, in a muffled voice you heard her ask, “for real?”

          With Jennie still hugging you tightly, you took in a deep breath. Nothing could ruin this moment. Despite your feelings earlier, everything felt right. Never in your life did you feel so sure of what you were about to say, and so, not wasting any more time you said, “yes Jennie. For real.”

[end of flashback]

Just before telling them, you looked over at Jennie and the two of you smiled and laughed. Besides Jennie, Lex was the only one that knew of your plans to stay. Your smile was so wide, that you were sure that if you wasted any more time, you would surely offend them in some way. So, to avoid that, right away you told them the good news. “I’m not leaving.” It was short and to the point.

For what seemed like an eternity later, you and Jennie sat across from them, laughing and moving around in your seats. All they could do in front of you was sit there in shock, and after a few seconds, they bombarded you with questions.

“Forever?” “So, will you be here when we get back from touring?” “Are you coming with us on tour?” “When did you know?” “Did you know this entire time?” “Did Jennie know this whole time too?” they all asked.

It was hard to keep track of which questions they had asked first, and which ones you had the answers to, so you just started with what you knew. You were smiling so hard, that you could feel the muscles in your face start to cramp up. “I’m not exactly sure for how long I plan on staying here. Could be until the end of my new lease, or it could be forever. I’m not sure. I will still be here when you get back from touring, yes. As of now, I don’t have any plans to tag along on the tour, I feel like it wouldn’t be productive for either of us. I will probably fly out to some concerts though. And yes, she knew, we spoke about it this morning.”

You had answered all their questions as best as you could, but the only words they seemed to catch were the last ones. They all looked at Jennie with looks of betrayal on their faces; jokingly of course.

Jennie sat up in her chair and tried defending herself as best as she could. “You guys never asked me! How was I supposed to know?”

“Lisa said something about it during practice!” Rosé and Jisoo both argued.

“Oh. I must have not heard her then,” Jennie said quietly as she sat back in her seat, accepting her defeat.

“You never do,” you heard Lisa say quietly as she clutched her chest, causing everyone at the table to laugh.

…

[6:19 PM KST. One day before the premiere]

You were late. Nineteen minutes late to be exact. And so, you ran through the doors of the restaurant, hoping that Ethan would still be here and that he wasn’t ticked off.

Out of breath, you reached the front desk of the restaurant, and right away the host asked if you had a reservation. “It should be under Silver,” you told him. As you caught your breath, he stood there swiping away on the tablet in front of him. Once he had confirmed that you indeed did have a reservation, he led you toward the table. Every room you were guided through looked expensive and gave off a snobbish vibe; it was too fancy for your liking.

The colours that made up the rooms were mostly dark. The walls were covered in an old-fashioned looking wallpaper and had dark-stained wood finishings. The floors were carpeted and had designs that matched the wallpaper. The orange lighting didn’t help either.

When you looked around there was no one else in the room, and already seated at the table was Ethan. Like always, he was dressed in a fitted suit and had his cellphone in hand. Ethan had always planned these dinners with you the day before the release of each of your films, and almost every time you were late. Upon noticing you, he smiled and excitedly called out for you, but his attention was once again captured by his cellphone as it rang.

Thankfully you had a few minutes to relax in your seat while you watched him tap away at his phone, and when he was done he placed it down on the table just like you had done.

“So… Y/N, how have you been?” Ethan asked you, as he unfolded the napkin and placed it on his lap. Which prompted you to do the same, though you struggled to do it with just the one hand.

“I’ve been doing well, and you?” you asked while trying to hide your broken wrist underneath the table.

As you said the words he stared at your arm in the sling, and in a tone that hinted at both disapproval and disbelief, he said, “I can see that. As for myself, I have been doing just fine. The company is doing well, and we’re looking forward to the release tomorrow. Are you excited?”

Ethan was never one to shy away from things, and so he just kept looking at the scratches that covered your temple and the cast that was around your wrist. Usually, when you caught people staring, they would give you a sympathetic look and then move on, but he just kept looking at it.

You sighed and said, “please stop staring at the arm. It’s fine. As for the release, you could say I have mixed feelings about it. Obviously I’m worried about the people’s reactions, but on the other hand, I could not be more satisfied and happier that it’s finally coming to an end. Another film done… I’m having a hard time accepting that it’s all over.”

As he listened to you speak, he shook his head and reassured you. “Don’t worry about what others think, I’ve seen it already. People will love it. My daughter loved it, so I know it will do well in her demographic, which was our target anyways. You did a great job Y/N, now it’s time to sit back and enjoy.”

His last words reminded you of what you wanted to discuss with him. We’re taking a break, said the voice in your head. “About that…”

Your reluctance to speak caused him to sit up straighter in his chair, with both of his elbows propped up on the table and his fingers entwined. It’s now or never Y/N.

“Go on,” he said.

“I want… to take a break after this documentary is released. This isn’t me handing in my resignation or retiring. I love my job and I wish to do it for the rest of my life, there’s no doubt about it. It’s just I feel like mentally, I need a break. I have spent the last seven– and now almost eight years, filming the lives of other people. This past year has taught me a lot, and while I’m still young… I would like to live my own life I guess. I’ve made many friends and experienced a lot of new things… so I’ve decided that I want to stay here in South Korea with–”

“–with Jennie.” Ethan finished.

What? Did I hear that correctly? How did you know? Well, that certainly wasn’t a no.

You thought while sitting there completely dumbfounded. At the exact same moment, the waiter came by and placed a basket of bread and butter in between the two of you.

Ethan didn’t look disappointed or unhappy about your decision but looked like he was thinking. When the waiter was gone, he finally spoke, “she’s your girlfriend, yes?”

“You knew? How? Are you not… upset? Or?” you struggled to ask.

He took a sip of water and sat back in his chair, smiling. Was it in satisfaction? “I have eyes all over the place at YG, Y/N. Now, I know I don’t have a say in your personal relationships, but I would have liked for you to at least let me know. I need to be able to protect you and the company… This may sound harsh, but don’t forget that your actions reflect on the very company we both work for. People associate you with Universal. So, although I don’t expect you to tell me everything, you have to let me in on some things. Things like this can quickly get dangerous.”

Well, the cat’s out of the bag, you might as well own up to it.

You tried clearing your throat with water, but no matter how much you drank, the lump in your throat wouldn’t go away. “You would be correct then. She is– I am dating her. And I apologize for keeping you in the dark, I didn’t realize how selfish I was being. I never want to put the company in danger.”

“As for your decision. I have no idea why you’re so nervous. Our contracts expire yearly, you’re free to do what you wish. There’s nothing I can do, and even if there was something I wouldn't want to. I care about you Y/N, as both an employee and as someone who I consider a family member. I may push you to do things, but that’s only because I know it will help you grow, be that as a director or a person in general. Exactly like with this job, the decision has always been yours. If you want a break, it won’t be me that’s stopping you from taking it this time.”

For the second time today, you sat there speechless. When you really thought about it there was nothing he could do and you realized that the only person holding you back this entire time, was you. The ends of your mouth instantly curved up into a smile once you saw that things were coming together. No more overthinking, just doing from now on.

There was an awkward silence that took over and having no one else in the room only amplified that. In a way it was deafening. Until Ethan cleared his throat, threw his napkin over his plate and loosened his tie. You thought he might be annoyed, but to your relief, he laughed as he said, “my daughter was right after all. I seem to always start dinner with the wrong things. I didn’t mean for this to get awkward. Is it the restaurant? Should we leave and just find a pizza spot?”

You laughed as he spoke; this wasn’t how you were expecting this conversation to go with your boss. While you took one last look around the empty room, you got up from your chair and said, “yes please.”

//

[6:04 AM KST, day of the premiere]

You woke up to a heavy arm landing on your stomach. Only having the energy to open one eye, you peered over at Jennie. She had her eyes closed and was mumbling something. “Y/N your alarm. Turn it off.”

When you sat up, suddenly and all at once, you felt the lack of sleep catch up to you. For the past few nights you and the girls stayed up late into the early morning's binge-watching tv shows or playing video games, and every morning you told yourself it was the last time.

On your bedside table, your phone was playing it’s set ringtone, which was supposed to be calming but didn’t at all make you feel that way. Once you were able to turn it off, you rubbed your eyes and fell back against your pillow. Just one more minute. Not even a few seconds later, Jennie had hit you once more. “Get up. You get ready first today.”

Whenever you guys had to leave for work together, you fought over who should get up first. But because of the accident, today would be the first morning in a while that you did, which made you realize what today was. Release day. No longer did you feel tired but energized by the mix of sudden nervousness and excitement. Swinging your legs off the side of the bed, you got up to go to the bathroom. Slowly and carefully you took off the splint that was around your wrist and headed into the shower. Don’t slip. Don’t slip. Don’t slip.

While in the shower you thought about what you had on your schedule. First was the meeting with both YG and Universal, the press conference, a private showing with a few Blackpink fans, and then finally dinner with both companies.

After giving the conditioner enough time to soak in your hair, you stepped forward so that the water pouring out from the showerhead could wash it away, and immediately you felt comforted by the warm temperature of the water that was cascading down your body. However, that was all short-lived as you felt two cold arms snake their way around to the front of your stomach; your abs tensing up at the sudden contact. Jennie.

“You couldn’t wait for me to finish huh?” you asked.

“Nope.”

…

[8:30 AM KST, day of the premiere]

While sitting at the conference table, you anxiously bounced your leg up and down. Was it the espresso you had this morning or was it because you were nervous? Either way, you couldn’t stop moving.

You and Lex were the only ones in the room. Arriving at YG this morning, you and Jennie had to split up; she went to meet up with the rest of her members and you went straight to the conference room. The meeting was set to start any minute, and yet there was no sign of anyone.

Lex sat in the chair next to you, writing out an email to your landlord. You could see her looking at you from time to time through the corner of her eye. Though this time when she did it, she said something. “Can you stop fidgeting? Just relax.”

Just then through the frosty glass of the conference room, you saw a large group of people make their way to the door of the room, prompting you and Lex to stand up from your chairs. Very casually, both YG and Ethan came into the room, laughing on their way in. Every time you saw them, they were always laughing together. Then very quickly they were followed by six others, who you did not recognize. Two of them tried their best to sneak in unnoticed, but nevertheless, you saw them anyway; the others looked much more confident and stuck out their hands to introduce themselves. Two were translators that worked with the company, and the other two were other business executives.

The next group to enter was the girls and their managers. It was exactly like the first meeting, though this time you knew each other and were much more comfortable.

Once the introductions were over, you all took a seat at the table and started the meeting. Both YG and Ethan sat at the head of the table, side by side. Behind them in the two chairs against the wall, sat two people who you had come to learn were their assistants. Respectively and immediately in the chairs beside them were the translators. On the side closest to Ethan sat you, Lex and two others from Universal.

YG’s side consisted of two people from his company, then Jisoo, Jennie, Rosé and Lisa. It was a quick meeting before the press conference; you were told ahead of time that you would see the rest of the staff who worked on the documentary at the dinner later today.

Ethan cleared his throat and looked around the room just before opening his mouth to speak. “Hello again everyone. It has been a while, but I must say that it’s good to see you all here in person, and not through a TV screen. I’m sure everyone here, myself included, cannot be more thrilled over the release of this joint project. So on behalf of my company, I would like to say thank you first and foremost. Whether you were the one filming, being filmed, or like me, did work behind the scenes, thank you. Second, I’m beyond grateful that we got to make this whole thing happen, and I hope that it isn’t our last project together. If I had champagne I would make a toast, but we will save that later for tonight.”

With that, the translators went to work in translating his speech for everyone in the room. After they were done everyone clapped once they understood. The next to speak was YG who made the same kind of speech, more or less. Following YG, everyone at the table expected you to make a speech, but you said that you would save it for the dinner later in the day.

All that was left for the day was the press conference with Korea’s media and a few international networks. The event was to be held in the same large auditorium where you and the members were seated almost exactly a year ago.

…

[9:55 AM KST, day of the premiere]

If everyone would kindly take their seats, we can get started on the questions. Please have your equipment and questions ready.

This message was repeated a few times over in both Korean and in English, and when the room fell silent you took a deep breath before somebody could be picked to ask the first question. This time Jennie sat in the chair beside you and held your hand underneath the table, which always lessened the anxiety you felt by a considerable amount. You hoped this time that there would be no questions on your personal life. The night before you and Lex went over some possible questions they might ask, and you hoped that the press would avoid it altogether, but you knew that was impossible in this industry.

A reporter in the second row was chosen first. In a rush, he stood up flipping through the tiny notebook he had in his hands, and the cameraman beside him could only look at him disapprovingly. Poor guy.

“This question i– is for Y/N. Having filmed the members of Blackpink for a couple months, one would assume that you have more footage than what you have shown in the documentary. Surely you must have caught some really embarrassing moments on camera, do you recall any in particular? Specifically, one that didn’t make the cut?” he asked nervously.

You were kind of disappointed at the question. It was a recycled one that had been asked in the countless other conferences you had previously, but you answered it anyway. Eyeing each of the girls, in turn, they each jokingly put on a worried expression, earning a laugh from the media.

“There was– I’m kidding. There were many embarrassing moments caught on camera, and some you might even see in the doc. However, to answer your question, I did promise that at the start of filming, that if the girls in any way felt that they weren’t comfortable with sharing a certain clip or being filmed, then it wouldn’t be included no questions asked… With that being said, I’m sure you will be more than satisfied with what’s shown.”

The second question was for you again. This time a woman was picked and she was much more prepared. “This question is for Y/N. Now that you have spent all this time getting to know each of the members personally… Did anything about them surprise you at all? And do you have a favourite?”

Everyone in the room laughed at her last question, including you.

“I’m assuming you’re asking whether I had any preconceptions?” you asked to clarify, and when she nodded you continued. “I try not to go into a job with any. I’d much rather see things for myself. Before any job such as this, there’s going to be research that’s required… so, I guess to answer your question, it would be no. They are exactly like what has been shown in their previous projects. And to answer your other question… I’m afraid I don’t have an answer to that. They are all special to me in their individual ways.”

The last part was a politician’s way of answering, but it was true. From a romantic perspective of course it was Jennie, but from a friendship perspective, you didn’t have one. They all meant something different to you.

Another person was picked, but thankfully this time the question was for the girls which gave you time to drink some water. “This question is for Blackpink. Can each of you in five words or less describe Y/N?”

Jisoo: She’s. My. Other. Little. Sister.

Jennie: The. Love. Of. My. Life.

Lisa: The. Best. Partner. In. Crime.

Rosé: The. Fifth. Member. Of. Blackpink.

You sat back in your chair smiling and laughing at each of them as they answered. Each answer received the same reaction from the media. Jennie’s answer made your heart flutter but to the rest of the media, it didn’t stand out and there was no way they could have known.

The conference continued for another hour until it was time for the last question and the person that was chosen to ask you, was a reporter from none other than ET; the company notorious for giving you hell.

From the way you sat waiting, Jennie probably could feel how tense and anxious you were, and so you felt her squeeze and graze over your hand with her thumb underneath the table.

The reporter pulled out a few of her notes before proceeding to ask her question, “this question is for Y/N. According to the public record, it says here that you have already sold your apartment back home and have recently begun the process of buying property here in South Korea. With that being said, do you have another project lined up here? Is there a specific reason for keeping you here in South Korea? What is so special about South Korea that you’ve decided to stay here? Could you please elaborate on your decision to make this place your new home?”

Okay. That’s not too bad. I know what you’re trying to get at, but I will give you an answer to chew on you piranhas.

Just before answering with what you had rehearsed the night before, you looked at Jennie. For a brief moment, you thought about answering the question with her name, but after your talk with Ethan about the consequences of your actions, you decided against it. Still, that fact didn’t make it untrue. After all, wasn’t home supposed to be a place where you felt the most comfortable? The happiest? Right beside Jennie was where you felt those things; she held the keys to your solace, warmth, and peace… all the things you associated with a home. With Jennie was where you belonged.

While lost in your thoughts, Jennie and Jisoo both gave you a weird look which reminded you to answer the question you had just been asked.

Sitting up straighter and adjusting the mic in front of you, you answered with confidence this time. “As of now, I do not have another project lined up for me. But what I can tell you is that after much discussion with the people closest to me, I have chosen to take a break from filming so that I can spend quality time with my loved ones. Now with that being said…” you trailed off, and to your surprise, the press sat there quietly and waited for you to finish.

As you spoke, the memories of all that you had gone through this last year ran through your head in a flash. A year ago you sat on this very stage, never more confused or heartbroken in your life, and now to be back here in the exact opposite situation was something you could have never seen coming. The words kept pouring out, and you couldn't help but smile and watch as the press in front of you ate up every word you said.

“…I hope you can all respect my decision. For now, I am done with living my life through a lens.”

[scullysexual]

*Prompt request for AU where Mulder gets Scully pregnant in high school and they are “forced” to marry but fall in love.*

Okay now we’re at the final chapter/part/instalment. Meet my longest fic ever 5k words. I have never written that many words for a one shot before let a alone a chapter but here we are. This is a fic of its own honestly, it’s just attached to this universe. I don’t really have much to say other than I’ve really enjoyed this universe and that I’m still sticking to what I say in the last part- send me prompt in this universe and I will write them, this is probably my favourite universe I’ve ever written in I’m so glad this anon sent me the prompt and I hope I did it justice. A full masterlist of this will be posted tomorrow. @today-in-fic

A Baby Is Forever: Part Six [EPILOGUE]

Part One.

Part Two.

Part Three.

Part Four.

Part Five.

AO3.

- - -

There’s a warm weight trying to squeeze against her, a head that bumps her chin, and cold feet trying to find warmth between her bare legs.

Emily’s climbed out of her crib again.

“Hey Emi,” Scully hears Mulder mumble.

She slipping back into subconsciousness when she feels a pull against her pyjama top.

“No Emily,” she says, taking her daughter’s hands in her own to prevent her from tugging at the top.

“I want milk.”

For the past three weeks Scully had been slowly weaning Emily. It was going a lot soother than she expected, morning is full of distractions, replace breastmilk and snuggles with cow’s milk and cuddles and morning goes by with no hassle. Naps were a bit harder but followed the same pattern, night feeds were still a thing for now.

The system worked nine times out of a ten. The times it didn’t work was when Emily was sleepy but couldn’t fall asleep.

“Do you want Daddy to make you some big girl milk?” Scully asks, opening her eyes just in time to see Emily pout- a trait she got from Mulder- and shake her head.

“That milk’s yucky.” She frees her hands from Scully’s grasp and begins clawing at her t-shirt again.

She’s tired and wants to give in but Emily had been doing so well that to give in now seems like a waste of three weeks.

“Mulder, will you make Emily some milk, please?” she asks.

“No! I want your milk,” Emily whines at the same time Mulder leaves the bed.

“How about we cuddle while we wait for Daddy to bring your big girl milk, yeah?” Scully tries bargaining.

Emily doesn’t look convinced but she moves towards Scully anyway, snuggling against her.

She’s almost drifting off when Emily speaks again.

“Daddy heat milk up?”

“I’m sure he will, baby.”

Mulder comes back five minutes later, bottle of milk in his hand. He climbs back into the bed, handing the bottle to Emily.

“There you go, Em.”

Emily takes it and Scully falls back asleep for another hour.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.

She places Emily down on the counter.

“What do you want for breakfast, Emily?”

“Cookies,” the child says.

Scully sighs, the third day in a row Emily has asked for cookies for breakfast.

“You can’t have cookies, baby.” She roots in the fridge, pulling out a pack of eggs. “How about eggs?” she asks holding the pack towards Emily.

Emily shakes her head slowly. “Cookies.”

“You can have cookies when we’re out,” Scully tells her, putting the eggs back in the fridge.

Nearby Mulder’s bagels pop up in the toaster, startling both Scully and Emily. Mulder is over in seconds, taking them out. At least one of them knows what their eating this morning.

Seeing the bagels being placed on Mulder’s plate, Emily points towards it.

“Daddy,” she says.

“You want bagels like Daddy?”

Emily nods and Mulder is already a step ahead of her, pushing the lever of the toaster down.

.:.:.:.:.:.

She showers while Emily eats. A fifteen minute reprieve from her daughter.

She loves Emily more than she thought she could ever love anything but approaching two-years-old, Scully fears her once impeccably behaved baby girl was going to become possessed by the Terrible Twos.

With Mulder gone most days, it was just her and Emily. Occasionally her mom and Melissa would help out but Scully didn’t want to seem like she was depending on them. Since Emily was born, Scully had to need to prove to everyone that she could do it, that she wasn’t just a baby caring for a baby, she was a mother and she could live up to the responsibility of being one.

Even Mulder had proved himself capable. He was afforded more immature moments than her but he never let it impede on his ability to be a father. He helped out when he could and they fell into an easy routine. The dark early days he proved to be enough when Emily refused to suckle, refused to let Scully pick her up, refused to let her bond with her. Their daughter had just wanted Mulder and Scully had given up. She pumped rather than physically breast feed and Mulder had been left to do it all- feed the baby, change her diaper, play with her, Scully was just the sustenance provider.

Now she and Emily get along just fine, once they were over that initial hurdle, and now they were best friends.

Scully exits the shower, immediately grabbing her ring from the counter and putting it back on her finger. It still shined as brightly as it did two years ago and that’s how Scully intended on it staying.

Rumours had sparked all around the school when she returned wearing it not that it bothered Scully, rumours had been circling around the building since her baby bump became visible, questions on who the father was and Did you really expect Dana Scully to be the first one pregnant? No, I didn’t either. They could write SLUT across her locker in red capital letters as much as they liked, Scully was never going to rise to it, she had bigger things on her mind than what immature school kids thought of her.

“Scully,” Mulder calls through the door. “Em’s done with her food. Do you want me to dress her?”

Sometimes he could be amazing.

“Yes, please,” she calls back through the door. “Her clothes are already out on the bed.”

They were out today, buying paint for Emily’s new room.

The decision to give Emily her own room came when Mulder’s parents moved out a year ago, leaving them the house. Initially, they were resigned to the basement and it had worked having Emily, still a newborn at the time, right beside them, not having to go far, everything they needed could fit downstairs with them and rarely did they have to bother anyone upstairs.

But Emily had began to grow, like any child does, and the being confined to the basement just wasn’t good enough for anyone anymore.

They didn’t have many options, too young and broke to even rent a place of their own at seventeen, they intended on just making do with the basement until their options widened.

Until one dinner time when Teena announced that a house just down the street had opened up and they were thinking of moving into that, giving their current house to Mulder.

The deal was they, along with Scully’s parents, would help them out until they were done with school, then it was down to them.

Well, school had ended and it was down to them to support themselves now. Mulder worked, Scully looked after Emily. It was old-fashioned but it worked and Scully saw no issue with it, for now.

College was to be postponed for another year, too. Wait until Emily was old enough to go into pre-school or be able to stay with her grandparents for more than however long the milk lasted. They would stay in Maryland, too, and hopefully figure the rest out at a later date.

Now, though, it was about decorating Emily’s new room.

The child hadn’t been excited about the prospect of her own room no matter how much Mulder and Scully tried to big it up to her, she liked Mommy and Daddy’s room, why couldn’t she stay there?

Scully hoped that by allowing her to pick the room design Emily would grow more keen to the idea.

She exits the bathroom, walking towards her bedroom and upon opening the door, she is greeted by a partially dressed Hurricane Emily.

“Mommy! Me and Daddy saw Cookie Monster when we eat our bagels.”

Sesame Street was currently Emily’s favourite show, her favourite character was the Cookie Monster and he is the reason Emily asks for cookies every morning.

Scully bends to pick Emily up, setting her on her hip and bringing her back over to bed where Mulder sits holding a pair of socks in his hand.

“When you ate your bagels, Emily,” Scully corrects, putting her down standing on the bed. There were no worries about Emily’s speech development, she was actually a very intelligent, having been able to string sentences together for a while now.

It had been something Scully had worried about at the beginning. Emily was a premature baby- a late premature baby, but one all the same- and while the probability of the risks presented to premature babies were low for her they were still risks all the same.

But aside from running out of breath a little quicker when she got excited, Emily was functioning as any other child, developing around the same average time as other children, there were no worries in that department.

She hadn’t quite mastered grammar yet, however.

“What did you see?” Scully asks Emily as she buckles up her dungarees and Mulder puts her socks on.

Emily proceeds to tell her how Elmo stole Cookie Monster’s cookies and Cookie got sad and then Elmo apologised and gave them back to him.

She’ll test her like this sometimes, make sure that she’s paying attention, taking in what she’s seeing on the TV.

“How did you know Cookie was sad?” Scully asks, another test.

“Um…” She watches as Emily tries to find the words for what she knows. “He…he…”

“He sat on his own, didn’t he?” Mulder says, helping her out.

Emily turns towards him at the sound of his voice, nodding her head quickly and turning back to Scully.

“He sat on his own and looked like this…” She does her best impression of a sad face that makes Scully laugh and melt at how adorable she looks.

“It’s not funny, Mommy!” Emily admonishes in a voice that sounds vaguely similar to her own when she tells Emily off for doing something she shouldn’t.

“You’re right,” Scully says, correcting herself. “It’s not funny.” She strokes her hand through Emily’s bed head. She still needs to get dressed and tackle Emily’s unruly hair and they don’t have a lot of time left before they need to leave.

“Why don’t you go back downstairs with Daddy and watch more Cookie Monster and I’ll get dressed, okay?”

Emily nods, climbing down from the bed and grabbing hold of Mulder’s hand.

“Come on, Daddy,” Emily says.

“I’ll need your strong muscles to pull me up, Em,” he says, pretending to struggle to get off the bed. “I’m getting too old.”

Scully rolls her eyes but she’s warmed by it all the same. Emily uses her “muscles” and pulls Mulder up and the two leave the room leaving Scully on her own.

.:.:.:.:.:.

Within the hour they have made it to Home Depot browsing the paint section while Emily happily babbles away Quacky in the cart.

Public outings were always something of a tense situation. When Emily was younger they received a lot of disdainful tuts, shaking heads, and a lot of stares. Scully had tried to ignore it but she never went anywhere with just Emily.

Now it was easier to bare. The stares still came but Scully learned not to care about them. She was happy, her baby was baby and that was all that mattered.

“I think yellow,” Scully says, beelining for the coloured paint.

“Why yellow?” Mulder asks.

She stares at him like he’s stupid. He is stupid.

“It’s her favourite colour,” she answers pointedly.

Mulder chuckles. “It’s your favourite colour, you mean.” He looks down at Emily who is happy in her own make-belief world.

“Emi, what’s your favourite colour?”

“Yellow,” the girl says without missing a beat.

An I told you so look appears across Scully’s face.

“Only because it’s your favourite colour,” Mulder mutters yet loud enough for Scully to hear it.

She’s about to grab the yellow paint before she clocks the white shades above it. She looks towards Mulder who snacks on sunflower seeds, an idea in her mind.

She pushes the tub back onto the shelf and Mulder looks at her questioningly. She ignores him, her attention on Emily.

“Emi,” she calls and Emily looks at her. “What if, instead of painting your room yellow, I painted it white and covered it in sunflowers?”

Emily nods, seemingly excited by that prospect. Sunflowers had become Emily’s favourite flowers ever since she found out Mulder eats the seeds. That had led to some very interesting conversations with Emily believing that if she ate a seed a sunflower would grow inside her. Instead they had planted it outside in the garden and once it was “all big” (as Emily had said) it would be her responsibility to care for it.

“And who’s going to draw these sunflowers?” Mulder asks.

“I will,” Scully says, grabbing two tubs of white paint, two tubs of yellow, a medium-sized tub of brown paint, and finally a smaller tub of green.

They buy fairy lights in another store and with Emily’s toddler bed on the way, she was looking forward to decorating the room.

They had the weekend to do it, with Maggie having Emily over for a sleepover. Scully had been cautious of the idea at first. Emily had only been over at her parents’ for a few hours and never had she stayed there (without Scully also there). This was going to be a first for all of them and Scully hoped Emily was going to be okay with it.

There was another thing that an Emily-free night would open up for Mulder and Scully, and Scully was still unsure whether her thoughts should venture down that path yet.

.:.:.:.:.:.

Bathing with Mommy had become something of a treat. Emily loves water and there had been plans to take her to the swimming baths one day for now, though, Emily is just happy playing in a bubble bath. It’s easier to bathe her like this, rather than Scully kneeling and leaning over the edge. They cuddle after all the cleaning is done until their skin has pruned in the warm water or until that warm water has gone cold.

“You excited to sleep at Grandma’s, baby?” Scully asks.

Emily nods but Scully isn’t convinced. Usually her baby was as happy as a clam in the bath, even happier if Scully was joining her, but tonight she had been quiet and subdued, not playing much with the bath toys and barely laughed when Scully booped her on the nose with shampoo. They were all signs that something wasn’t right.

“Can Quacky come?” Emily asks.

“Of course. You can take whoever you like.”

“Can I take you?”

So this is what’s up with her.

“Oh Emi,” Scully coos bringing her daughter closer to her. “You like Grandma, you’ll be fine without me.”

Still, Emily isn’t convinced.

“Want me to tell you a secret?” Scully says and that gets Emily’s attention.

“Grandma’s taking you to a Jungle Gym tomorrow.”

Emily’s eyes light up. “Really?”

“Yep. But you gotta act surprise when Grandma tells you that. She can’t know that I told you, okay?”

Emily nods, “I promise, I promise.”

It’s done the trick and Emily seems a lot happier.

Maggie knocks on the door at 7:30. Scully finishes getting the last of the diaper contents together before picking up Emily who’s just spent the last 40 minutes watching Sesame Street and receiving “the best head scratches” from Mulder- Review left by Emily Scully-Mulder.

“Ready to go, baby?” Scully asks, bending to pick her up.

“Bye-bye, Emi,” says Mulder, pressing a kiss to Emily’s head. “See you Sunday.”

Emily sleepily waves back to him as Quacky’s foot finds its way into her mouth.

“She’s had milk,” Scully says upon opening the door and after the greetings. She passes the diaper bag over this. “There’s another bottle in there if she fusses. “She’s been bathed so all you need to do really is put her to bed. She hasn’t napped today so she should be tired.” Maggie nods, holding her arms out and Scully is suddenly hesitant to hand Emily over.

“Um…she has cow’s milk in the morning, it’s called her big girl milk, if you call it anything else she won’t want to drink it.”

Another nod from Maggie.

“If there are any problems, call me, I’ll be over straight away.”

Another nod. “Dana?”

“Yes?”

“Can I take Emily now?”

Right, she was still holding her.

“Bye-bye, Baby. Have fun with Grandma.” Emily’s grip tightens on Scully and Scully whispers into her ear. “Remember the Jungle Gym.” Emily’s grip loosens and Scully is able to hand her over.

She watches them go, waving to Emily before her mom and daughter go out of sight.

She closes the front door praying Emily will be alright tonight.

When she re-enters the living room the channel has been switched to some movie on mute and Mulder is scribbling into a notepad.

She eyes him coolly and walks towards the couch, sitting down upon it cross-legged. She leans into him.

“What you doing?” she asks.

“Brainstorming campaign ideas,” he answers, still engrossed in the notebook and whatever he’s scribbling down. “Thinking of getting the boys down and doing another session.” He looks towards her before turning back to the book. “You’re free to join if you want.”

She nuzzles into his bare arm, smiling. “And what do we do with Emily?”

He shrugs. “She can play, too.”

Scully hums her eyes shutting as she continues to nuzzle finding herself quite content.

“It’s quiet without her, isn’t it?” Mulder almost whispers. His pencil has stopped moving and the room has gone quiet besides the occasional noise of the pipes.

It was quiet in a presence-lacking kind of way. Emily would be in bed by now but her presence would still linger in the room, would still wander the house reminding them that she was still here. Now she was gone for the night, that presence had gone with her.

“I just hope she’s good for my mom,” Scully says remembering how she had clutched onto her.

“She will be.” He closes the book, pushing it to one side and sits back against the couch, bringing his arm around her. Scully adjusts, uncrossing her legs and curling them beneath her to lean against him more comfortably. “She’s a good kid, Scully.”

Yes, she was. A few hiccups on some days but for the most part, Emily was a good, well-behaved kid.

She smiles. “Wonder where she gets that from?”

“I always assume from you.”

Scully snorts. “I doubt it. I was a terror with a speciality in running off.”

Mulder laughs. “Well, when Emily starts I’ll know who to blame.”

Scully giggles before taking a deep breath and sighing.

“So what do we do now?”

All day she had been trying to work out how to ask him. Tell him that she’s okay now, she’s ready, and that it won’t be like the first time they tried.

“Mulder, if you want…” she starts, trying to find the words. “We can try. I…I think I’m ready now.”

She doesn’t look at him so she doesn’t see the realisation of what she’s saying- trying to say- dawn on him. She hears it, though.

Oh.

“Well if you want to, Scully. I don’t want to feel like you’ve been pressured or-“

She looks up at him then to find him staring at her as she interrupts.

“No, it’s fine.” She hops up from the couch, quickly, intending on getting this awkward asking moment over with.

“Well, if you’re sure…” Mulder says, beginning to rise from the couch himself.

Yes, she’s sure because if he keeps asking she might not be.

There’s an awkwardness as they enter the bedroom. One would think they hadn’t done with this.

“So how do you-“ She’s on him, fast, allowing no time for gentle kisses, her lips are on his, her tongue in his mouth and her hands are already working on the button of his jeans.

A mantra in her head: I want this, I want this, I want this.

And Mulder is trying to keep up. He’s that awkward fifteen year old again when Scully threw herself at him in a similar manner, unsure of what to do with his hands, where to put them.

That encounter was quick, what was supposed to be a throwaway moment of drunken recklessness between two teenagers who had a house to themselves.

He doesn’t want this moment to be like that moment, and Scully knows that but any slowness, any moment that isn’t rushed and over with before her brain can start thinking has her doubting herself. I want this turns into I don’t know if I want this even if she knows deep down she does want this.

But Mulder doesn’t know that. Mulder doesn’t know about the inner struggle she’s currently having with herself and pulls away, halting her.

“Scully, stop.”

She stops and those first blossoming thoughts of doubt come blooming in.

“We don’t have to do this now,” he says and his hands are still around her shoulders holding her away from him. “We’re gonna have loads of times in the future.”

She swallows. “You don’t want this…” she says quietly looking towards the floor. She should leave, go to her mother’s and camp out there with Emily until Sunday as well.

“No, no.” He uses the hold he has on her shoulders to bring her into his embrace. “No, I want this more than anything. The question is, do you want it?”

She’s fighting his embrace.

“Yes, of course, why do you think-“

But he stills her by holding her tighter.

“Do you really want it?”

She stops trying to fight and thinks. She does. She does want it. She nods.

He brings her away from him and smiles and she smiles back.

The air around them stops feeling awkward and his eyes fall to her lip and slowly he presses them against hers. It’s slow and gentle, everything she didn’t want it to be seconds ago until his tongue is running along her lower lip and she parts them, allowing him in.

He sets the pace, still going slow just as their tongues greet each other. A surge of heat pools below and the pace hurries, whether from her or from Mulder, Scully has no idea but he bends lower, hands wrapping around her thighs as he hoists her up, her legs wrapping around his waist.

The kiss breaks only when he places her down on the bed. She watches as he pulls off his t-shirt, throwing it off to the side, before working on his jeans, finishing the job Scully started.

She follows his lead, taking off her sweater and leaving her in an unsexy-yet-very-comfortable cotton bra. She gives him a shy smile.

Clad in only his boxers now, he kneels before her, his hand soothing up and down her leg, the action comforting.

“You can keep it on if you’re worried you’ll leak.”

That had been what happened the first time. Too much stimulation on her breast and her milk had gone everywhere, not helping the already increasingly uncomfortable experience.

But Scully shakes her head, beginning to remove the item.

“It shouldn’t be so bad this time,” she says.

Mulder smiles, rising slightly to kiss her once. “Whatever works for you.” He resumes kissing her, letting him lay her down on the bedcovers.

Their tongues play with each other for a bit, picking up where the pace left off only moments before.

He breaks the kiss, proceeding downwards, sucking at the sweet spots he had found during their second time at this.

Mulder moves away from her neck, continuing his path. He stops when he gets to her breasts and nuzzles one of them.

“I love your tits.” He said that last time, too, but this time Scully feels like he actually means it.

“Perks of having babies, I guess.” She lets out a breathy sigh, closing her eyes as his tongue circles her nipple, her hand falling to his head and combing through his hair, so grateful to be able to finally feel something there again.

But then he latches on and begins to suck and oh no.

Her eyes dart open. “Mulder, you’ll-“ But it’s too late, a tingling sensation she’d been feeling lately whenever she nursed Emily is back and she knows what that means.

Mulder does, too, as his eyes widen and he begins to suck more eagerly.

She falls back, another sigh saying, “That’s Emily’s.”

Mulder unlatches, chin resting against her ribcage as he looks up at her.

“Emily’s not here.” And presses a kiss against the nipple.

Scully hums in agreement.

“I understand now why she gets so upset when you tell her she can’t have any.” He hovers above her. “I’d be freaking out, too.”

Scully just stares at him, deciding that he’s been talking too much.

“Mulder, shut up and fuck me.”

A shit-eating grin passes across his face. He gets down close to her ear and whispers.

“Okay, Mommy.”

She knees him in the ribs for that.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.

“I’m gonna be honest with you, Scully, I’m curious to see these artistic skills you claim to have.”

Mulder stands in the middle of his childhood bedroom holding two tubs of white paint.

“I don’t claim to have any artistic skills.”

Scully takes one tub of paint away from him.

“You want to decorate the walls with sunflowers.”

She opens the tub up, grabbing a paint brush.

“They’re just sunflowers, Mulder,” she says beginning to dip the paint brush into the paint. “It doesn’t take an artistic genius paint them.” She starts on painting the wall.

They agreed that Emily would move into Mulder’s bedroom, it was bigger than Samantha’s and they felt that maybe Emily would be more at ease in there knowing that it had been her Daddy’s before hers.

“Are we even going to get this room painted in this weekend?” Mulder asks from across the room.

They split the walls- Scully would do the back wall and the window wall, Mulder would do the opposite wall and the wall nearest the door.

“No,” Scully answers. “I’m hoping we can get the walls finished before Em comes back but the sunflowers will have to be done another time.”

“Are you going to have the time to do them?” They had gotten Emily psyched up for the sunflowers and they both didn’t want to burst her bubble by not going ahead with them after all.

“Yeah, Emily can sit in the room while I do them or my mom can come over and watch her. It’s not like this where she’ll probably knock over the paint and get herself covered in it.”

That was the main reason why Emily had slept over at her mother’s in the first place. She couldn’t be trusted to just sit in a corner and play, she would get curious and when Emily gets curious it often leads to trouble.

Mulder chuckles, remembering something.

“Like when she was 18 months old and we let her play her in the garden and she decided she was going to take a mud bath instead?”

Scully groans at the memory which just makes Mulder laugh even harder. It had rained all day every day for a solid week and on the last day of that week the sun decided it was going to shine so they let Emily play outside (something she had wanted to do all week) What they didn’t realise was at the bottom of the garden a giant mud puddle at formed and, naturally, Emily had found it.

Mulder swore he only went inside to get some orange juice for two seconds and when he returned, Emily was covered head to toe in mud.

Scully wanted to die when she saw her whilst Mulder and Emily just laughed and Emily kept repeating pig and pointing to herself. Apparently she found out pigs take mud baths when they were too warm.

Mulder had only continued to laugh which had encouraged Emily more. She told Mulder to stay outside until he had calmed himself down and took Emily to the bathroom not knowing where to even start to clean her.

“You’re laughing but you weren’t the one who had to shower her,” Scully says, even after four months she doesn’t see the humour in it.

“I would’ve helped but you locked me outside.”

“Cause you were laughing and Emily thought that made it okay.”

Mulder shakes his head, not agreeing with her. “It was funny, though,” he mutters to himself.

As they paint they tell each other stories of Emily’s two years on with earth, reminding each other of little moments, telling each other of moments they might have missed. It’s a nice walk down memory lane, to see how far they’ve come as parents as they paint their daughter’s room and talk about their daughter.

They finally finish in the early hours of Sunday, three coats, and two empty tubs of white paint. The toddler bed was arriving later today and that meant dismantling the crib but that was a job for later, the only thing Scully wanted to do was sleep.

Emily returns around lunchtime, bursting through the front door shouting.

“Mommy! Daddy! Grandma taked me to Monkey Business!”

Scully laughs ignoring the questioning look her mother gives her and pulls Emily put onto her lap.

“Really?” she says with feign surprise. “Was it fun?”

Emily nods her head furiously. “And I cutted my finger, look.” She forces her finger in front of Scully’s face, almost taking an eye out. Scully laughs nervously, taking Emily’s little hand in her own and inspecting the band-aided finger.

“How did that happen?” Scully asks Maggie more than Emily.

“It’s just a paper cut but she insisted on me giving her a band-aid,” her mom tells her.

“I was brave. I didn’t cry.” Emily looks at her finger, running her other finger over it. “Is my sunflowers ready now?”

Scully strokes her hair. “Not yet, baby. We only had time to do the background but tomorrow, when Daddy’s at work, we can start on them and you can watch, yeah?”

Emily nods her head, pleased with that idea.

“Hey Em,” says Mulder catching Emily’s attention. “Just no paint baths, okay?”

Emily giggles, remembering the mud baths. “I promise,” in a voice that sounds like she doesn’t promise at all.

- - -

Thank you to everyone who’s read this and anyone who read it on ao3, too. You are amazing and I hope you’re satisfied with this ending :)

[deathandrenegades]

Bruised (Bucky x reader) - One Shot

Summary: Just another self-hating agent, trying to save everyone the trouble of getting close to him.

Word Count: 3783

A/N: Angst. Angst angst angst. Mentions of blood and death. This is right up my ally for my usual depict of Bucky, and I will always have a soft spot for him. Sue me.  5.8.2020

The L Word | Masterlist | Writing Challenge | Message Me |

There was a million and one things you wanted to say to him. But you knew you couldn’t. You watched him punch the bag, over and over again. Usually he’d work without gloves because he liked the blood, but for now they stayed on. You cracked your neck and shook your hands out before you jumped rope for a bit, getting your cardio in. Carefully stealing glances at him, trying not to be obvious. Finally his hands lowered to his sides, giving you your shot. 

“Barnes, hey,” you jogged over to him. He halted briefly, his grey shirt lined with rings of sweat. He gave you a once over before raising a brow at you, signaling you to talk. “Just wondering if you were going out with all of us tonight.” You bounced on the balls of your feet, shifting your weight, clearly anxious about being face to face with the man who’s always remained a mystery. He usually stayed home, secluded, trying to rebuild his life. He shrugged. 

“Maybe, I guess.” It wasn’t anything but you smiled hopefully anyways. 

You were the laziest out of the friend group, or least caring at least. Natasha was in full glam, Wanda was dressed to the nines and you could nearly pass for rolling out of bed. You sighed, looking in the mirror. It’s not like you had to impress anyone, you were single and not looking. Or so you said. 

———————-

“Just let me do your makeup.” Nat whined. You rolled your eyes at her. 

“Maybe another night.” 

“I bet if a certain someone was there you’d let me.” She wiggled her brows, joining Wanda in for a laugh and you scowled at them. 

“Oh, you mean George Clooney?” You threw a shoe at her, she ducked in time. 

“I told you that in confidence!” She cackled and you all fell into a fit of laughter. 

You met up with the rest of them at your favorite dive bar that was practically next door. They all greeted you with a smile, Steve and Sam looking especially handsome. 

“Where’s Tony?” You asked, sliding into the booth with Nat and Wanda. 

“He has a big meeting early tomorrow morning I think.” Steve sipped his drink. You scanned the room briefly, hoping to see Buck but he wasn’t here. 

“No Barnes tonight either?” You frowned slightly. 

“You know how he is.” Steve shrugged, understanding his best friend's need for privacy. 

“Such a hermit.” Muttered Sam in a disapproving tone, rolling his eyes and slamming the rest of his drink down. 

Wanda delved into a story about her latest experiment with her powers as you stirred your drink, trying to pay attention but failing. Bucky has been around for about a year now, but he had about as much progression with you as a feral cat. You couldn’t wrap your head around what it was that seemed to be driving him away from you, when you just wanted to be friendly with your coworker, like how you were with everyone else. It never failed that whenever you came around, Bucky became so shut in, sometimes even leaving altogether. You couldn’t help but to feel ostracized, even though Steve and Nat have assured you countless times it’s not you. He just needs time to adjust to people. 

News broke at the compound and you all gathered in for the debriefing on the latest suspect. You and Bucky were both put on detail, trailing the suspect and finding information. Usually the two of you worked decent together, except the only thing you’d talk about is work. As soon as there was nothing left to say, he’d leave, or barely speak. It felt like hitting a wall every time. 

————————

You sat across from each other at a coffee table, Bucky was clearly not focused. His knee kept bouncing erratically as his eyes darted to the window as people continuously passed by on the street. 

“Why did you choose this place?” He muttered. 

“Um, I don’t know, I wanted a coffee?” His question caught you off guard. 

“I hate crowded areas.” He sighed, rubbing his face and squeezing his eyes shut. His knuckles were cut up and bruised, which should’ve concerned you but it didn’t. 

“We can leave.” You offered. He shook his head, opening the manila folder. You devised a plan, who’s going to get close and who’s going to overlook from a far incase any threats appeared. It seemed to almost always be you getting close to the target. 

“Why can’t I stay back and watch while you get to know him?” You retorted. 

“Because I will kill him without hesitation.” Bucky blinked, as if it were obvious. 

You gulped, “We’re supposed to watch him. Gain intel.” Your brow furrowed together and he shrugged. “Is it just easy for you to take a life like that?” You asked sarcastically, sipping your coffee. 

“I just don’t care.” He said it so nonchalantly, it hovered in the air between you two. He shrugged again, like it was the most normal thing in the world. He wouldn’t look at you, and instead looked out the window, watching people walk by. His expression appeared stoic but his eyes were burning. Liar. 

“I’m sure.” You remained unconvinced and didn’t bother to hide it in your tone, especially because of the stories between him and Steve and the countless times Bucky practically threw himself in front of him in the field which usually resulted in injuries. Not to mention his incredulous nightmares that seemed to wake up the entire compound at times. That was before he moved out. 

He ignored you, instead turning back to work. 

“Fine. I’ll do it.” You rolled your eyes. He nodded his head curtly and got up to leave. 

---------------

Bucky continued to punch the bag with equal force repeatedly. He seemed to never get tired and today, his gloves were off. His wounds were almost healed, which was the perfect time to be gloveless. Finally he stopped, panting. 

“Why no gloves?” You asked from behind him and he turned around, his locks twisted in a bun. 

“Feels better.” He said simply. You frowned slightly. 

————————

You sat across from each other again at a restaurant, both of your trained eyes on the target, spotted with multiple henchmen. Getting to know his inner circle was a must if you were going to get close to him. 

“No girlfriends?” Your question seemed a lot more casual in your head, out loud it nearly startled him. 

“Not since I thawed out.” He smirked. 

“How come?”

“I don’t do relationships.” He muttered in disgust.

—————-

“Are you ready for tonight?” Nat grinned, proud of her masterpiece. Finally, you let her put makeup on you and give you a slimming dress to wear. It was black, midthigh length and hugged your curves in the right places. In all honesty you looked amazing, you couldn’t deny that. 

You walked in with Nat and Wanda flanking you, going to your usual booth. Bucky sat with Steve and Sam, trying to appear relaxed but it was obvious he wanted to leave as his eyes kept darting around the room, like a bomb might suddenly explode. Why was he here? 

All of their eyes seemed to land on you at once and suddenly you felt timid under their prying eyes, like you wanted to throw a hoodie on. 

“Jesus.” Steve muttered under his breath and you didn’t miss the look Bucky shot at him in response, quickly looking away. 

“Man, came to show out tonight huh?” Sam smiled, standing to pull you in for a hug. You sighed with relief, gaining your confidence back. You could feel Bucky's eyes pierce through you as you embraced Sam and sure enough, when you snapped your head in his direction your eyes briefly locked, and what you saw could only be described as one thing: jealousy. 

“I’m gonna get a drink, does anyone want anything?” You offered before turning away to order at the bar for you and Nat. 

“Damn Natasha, what did you do?!” Steve hissed as soon as you were out of earshot. 

“I’ve been begging her for months to let me do this.” She squealed. Her magic seemed to work, already someone was trying to buy you a drink. You politely declined, and just as soon as he left another came in. He was much more handsome and likeable from the start. His hand grazed your thigh and that’s when you felt a hand on your shoulder with a grip so hard you wanted to shriek. 

“I think you’re in my spot.” Bucky's gruff voice came from behind you, the guy shot you a look. You remained silent and the guy rolled his eyes, getting off the bar stool and leaving, deciding it wasn’t worth the fight. Bucky's brute size was enough to intimidate anyone. He sat down next to you ordering a whiskey, you sipped on your rum and coke. He rolled up the sleeves of his white dress shirt, your eyes traveled down to his black slacks. He looked good outside of the apparel you usually saw him in.  

“Thought you didn’t drink?” 

“Tonight’s different.” 

———

Today was the day you were essentially going to meet your target, who became more and more dangerous day by day. Bucky shifted nervously as you gathered your things. He was dressed in his tactical suit, all black, he’d be watching from a rooftop as you attended the mayors dinner. 

“Do you have your gun?” He asked. 

“Yeah.” 

“And your knife?” 

“In my purse.” 

“And your ear piece?” 

You squinted at him, he looked away, rubbing the back of his head nervously. 

“I’m gonna be fine, Buck.” You reassured. 

“I know. We both just didn’t realize how dangerous this could be.” 

You gave him a raised eyebrow, putting on your earrings. 

“What?” 

“I thought you didn’t care?” You huffed. He rolled his eyes. 

“I don’t. I just don’t want to risk being seen.” He said quickly.

“Well I’ll try not to make it obvious where you are.” You replied hotly. 

You entered with Steve calmly, breaking away to grab a drink, conveniently next to your target. Bucky stiffened as he watched you get closer to him through the scope. 

What the fuck is wrong with me, he sighed, shaking his head and trying to focus on the mission at hand. Steve came up behind you and placed a hand slightly lower than your waist and you smiled at him, Bucky however felt his blood boil. 

“You look great by the way.” Steve whispered into your ear. 

You blushed, thanking him. Bucky rolled his eyes, having heard him. Steve walked away, giving your target an opportunity to approach you, you hoped. His eyes landed on you and you gave an inviting smile, his gaze traveling down your torso to the slit in your dress. 

“Igor,” he smiled hesitantly introducing himself as he walked up to you, “And who might you be?” He grinned, sipping his scotch. His suit was clearly custom and he radiated wealth and danger. 

“For you?” Your voice sultry, sending a shiver through Bucky's spine when your voice rang through his ear. “Anyone you want me to be.” Bucky huffed, static ringing through your earpiece and you tried to ignore it. Briefly you looked out through the window, barely spotting Bucky. He looked like a shadow to the untrained eye. 

“He just put something in your drink.” Bucky nearly growled. 

“What?” Steve hissed. You froze. 

“Mmmmm, let’s make a toast.” Igor grinned. Your brain nearly stopped altogether, your arm raising slightly. His eyes were taunting you. He knew. 

“Steve, get in there.” Bucky hissed and Steve turned around, walking back in your direction immediately. 

“To new friends.” He finished, clinking his glass with yours. Your eyes darted around. “What’s the matter?” 

“I-uh, just don’t want this drink anymore.” You tried to laugh but it came out strained. 

“Are you kidding me,” Bucky fumed in your ear, “That’s the best you can come up with?” 

Steve was still making his way toward you, trying not to cause attention as he set a brisk pace. 

“Drink it.” Igor challenged, stepping closer to you, looming over you. You could see the gun inside his suit jacket. 

“Steve, you have two seconds otherwise I’m killing him.” 

Slowly he reached in his jacket, “Drink.” He repeated and leaned in closer, “or I’ll blow your fucking brains out, after I fu-.” 

“That’s it.” Bucky huffed, positioning his finger on the trigger. 

“Bucky, don’t, I’m two seconds away.” Steve breathed, his pace quickening. He could see you now, not caring about all the people watching him anymore, he jogged up to you. 

“Steve-“ Your voice was an octave higher than usual and you breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of him.

“Hey, honey.” He grinned, pulling you to him. “Ready to go?” He was smiling but his eyes held so much concern, you were so relieved to be in his arms. You shot a look back at the target who was gone already. 

“He’s gone.” You and Bucky collectively sighed. 

—————-

“I can handle it!” You yelled. 

“The last time you were close to him he almost killed you!” Bucky yelled back, “it’s not safe, I’ll go.” 

You shook your head. “Bucky, anyone that looks at you will know you're an assassin.” 

“I should’ve just killed him when I had the chance.” He snarled. You rolled your eyes. He was being completely childish and unreasonable, for no reason. Obviously you wouldn’t let it get anywhere near what it did last time. You looked between Bucky and Steve, waiting for Steve to back you up but he met your eyes with a small shake of his head and you left the room, fuming.

“What’s going on with you, Buck?” Steve asked once he knew you were gone, well out of ear shot. Bucky sighed. “I don’t know.” He put his face in his hands, he knew he was being ridiculous. 

“If you like her-“ 

“I don’t,” Bucky cut him off briskly. Steve raised an eyebrow, knowing him better. “Even if I did, it’s not like it matters Steve, and you know that.” He shook his head. “I’m not meant to be in a relationship.”

———————-

You and Bucky were in a motel as you waited for Steve, your knee bouncing up and down. His hand rested on your knee, stilling you. You looked up at him. 

“Stop doing that, you’re driving me nuts.” His hand lingered for a second before he removed it and you released a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. 

“Tonight could be the last night I’m alive, theoretically.” You stared at the floor. The words settled between you two uncomfortably. 

“Technically you could die at any time.” He offered weakly. 

“But tomorrow's odds are greater than any other day.” You whispered. He remained silent next to you on the couch. 

“I won’t let anything happen to you.” He found himself saying. He stared at his hands in his lap and you looked over to him, he was clean shaven and his hair chopped off so he could go to the event with you, to protect you better. Carefully you stroked your thumb down his cheek.

“I miss the long hair.” You said softly. He looked at you and half smiled. 

“Why’s that?” 

“I like having something to pull on.” You grinned devilishly. Hell, if you were going to die tomorrow you may as well shoot your shot now. He gave a breathy laugh and looked away, rubbing his knuckles. 

“Bucky-“ 

“Don’t.” He shook his head. “Don’t say it.” He said softly. 

“I want you.” You whispered, letting the words sink in. He closed his eyes, sighing. You slid closer to him until your thigh was pressed against his. 

“No.” He muttered. “You shouldn’t.” 

“Well I do.” You retorted. 

He stared at you, frozen, he grimaced at you so unguarded in front of him like never before. You leaned in closer to him, slowly, like trying to coax a stray animal into your arms. 

“Kiss me.” You whispered, your eyes traveling down to the plush of his lips. Quickly his tongue darted out, licking his lips nervously. 

“Why?”

“Could be my last night on earth.” You gave a lascivious wink and his adam’s apple bobbed. Slowly he brought his hands to your neck, thumbs caressing your cheeks and he stared into your eyes momentarily before his lips slowly pressed onto yours. You inhaled sharply as you melted into the kiss, leaning into him and snaking your arms through his, your hands reaching up to his face and raking through his short hair. He pulled away from you, much too soon and you opened your eyes to look at him in silent protest. He stroked your hair in thought briefly before you watched the life flood out of his eyes, his voice lower than usual.

“Don’t ask me to do that again.” 

The door opened and closed softly and Steve took in the both of you, sitting much too close to each other but judging by the shocked look on your face like Bucky had just slapped you, it wasn’t good.

“What’s going on?” 

“I’m not escorting her. I want scope.” Bucky didn’t meet Steve’s eyes. Your stomach flipped at his words. You were so close. 

“Is there a reason why?”

“She’s right, I’ll blow her cover. Plus he’s seen you two together before at least it’ll make mild sense.” 

Steve nodded. 

“Is that okay with you?” He asked you. 

“Perfect.” You got up, shutting the bathroom door behind you.

————————-

“Can you smile please?” Steve whispered to you as you stared into your drink. Bucky felt his heart wrench hearing Steve’s words, knowing he’s the cause. He watched you through the scope, you looked amazing in a red dress. You gave a weak smile to Steve, clinging to his side. 

Someone approached the two of you, presumably someone in office. 

“Is this your girlfriend, Steve?” 

“Oh, uh-“ 

“Yes.” You said breathlessly, offering a smile and placing a hand on Steve’s chest. Steve forced an awkward smile on his face. 

“She’s magnificent.” He beamed, you blushed at his words. Bucky tried to keep his cool but he was seething as he listened through the ear piece. His girlfriend? HIS girlfriend?

You said your goodbyes and continued to stroll through the room, looking for the target. You recognized his henchmen all over but didn’t see him. Carefully you looked out the window to Bucky. Something wasn’t right you could feel it. 

“Bucky, check your six, he’s not here but everyone else is. Something isn’t right.” You hushed into your earpiece. Bucky rolled his eyes. 

“I’m sure he’s just fashionably late.” 

Sure enough there he was as if on cue, striding through the curtains into the large room. 

“Is that-“ 

“Blood?” Bucky finished for you, honing in on him through the scope of his sniper rifle. “Yup. Right on the collar”. 

“If I distract him you can go in that room he came out of.” You offered without thinking. 

“Definitely not.” Bucky's curt voice cut through. 

“I don’t need your permission.” You snapped. 

“It might work.” Whispered Steve. 

“What?!” Bucky hissed. “You’re kidding, he knows who she is.” 

“What is he gonna do, kill me out in the open? I’ll watch my drink this time.” You rolled your eyes, annoyed. 

“It’ll take five minutes.” Steve assured. You nodded. Bucky huffed in your ear. 

“I cannot believe this.” 

Briskly you walked up to the target, tapping him on the shoulder. Your gaze was met with cold eyes.

“Surely you can’t be that stupid.” Igor laughed, Bucky snorted in your ear in agreeance. You rolled your eyes at both of them, Bucky’s finger hovering over the trigger just in case. 

“I’m just gonna kill him.” Bucky grunted. 

“Give me five minutes.” Steve replied. 

“No.” 

“4?” 

You took your ear piece out, fed up with Bucky's tantrum, plopping it in his drink. 

“Thank you for ruining my drink.” He irritatedly set it down on the bar, ordering a new one. 

“Well, maybe I wanted to have a conversation with you. Privately” You smiled. 

“About?” 

“Whatever it is you’re up to.” 

He laughed, “like I would tell you.” 

“What were you doing in Russia?” 

“How do you know about that?” Igor kept his voice low, gripping your elbow and steering you away from the bar, away from the people and around the corner into a deserted hallway towards the kitchens. This was the opposite of what you wanted. He stopped abruptly and you followed his gaze. Bucky was standing a few feet away, fuming, his gun raised. Igor hesitated briefly before reaching for his gun, but Bucky shot him before he got the chance, you stifled a scream as his body fell away from you and crumpled onto the floor. 

Steve jogged up towards you two and looked at the dead man on the floor, furious. 

“What happened?”

“He was going to kill her. Besides, you got what you needed right?” Bucky huffed. 

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose briefly. 

————-

“I thought you didn’t care.” You murmured, squeezing your wet hair with a towel. 

“Just doing my job.” Bucky grunted in response. You sighed, throwing your towel at him in frustration. 

“When will you just admit it?!” 

“Admit what?” Bucky scoffed. 

“That you have feelings for me, and you’re scared!” He stood off the couch, backing you up into a wall. 

“I already told you-“ 

“I’m not buying it.” You huffed. His blue eyes bore into yours, you had never been this close before, his scent practically inviting you in. You reached to touch his face but he slammed your wrists against the wall on either side of your face, holding them there. 

“Don’t.” 

“Don’t what?” 

“Touch me.” 

“Why?” You taunted. “What’re you so scared of?” 

“Nothing.” He snarled. 

“Scared of human touch? Affection?” 

“No.” 

“Love?” 

He stared at you, lips parted. He clenched his jaw and shook his head. 

“Prove it.” 

“What?” He breathed. 

“Show me. That you aren’t scared to be close to someone.” He stared at you, confused. 

“I don’t want to be close to someone. To anyone.” Finally he let your arms go, backing away from you. 

“But why?” You stepped towards him. He turned towards you, rage bubbling at the tip of his tongue. 

“Do you have any idea who I am? I have hurt people, innocent people!” You winced at his voice and backed away. “Anyone who gets close just winds up getting hurt.” He lowered his voice finally, face sullen. You stepped towards him again, your heart bleeding for him. 

He backed away, shaking his head. 

“Don’t.” 

TAGS: @thunderous-flower @badassbaker @also-known-as-me @buckyisloved @sebatianstanisbae @bexboo616 @ladymelissastark @fayebay @factorfreshness @thetrainwreckjournals @nataliehasgrace @annieluc @starkxpotts @after-avenging-hours @jurassicbarnes @bovaria @badassbaker @katykyll @jarnesbrnes

Permanent tag list is OPEN for Bucky, if you’d like to be tagged for future fics, inbox me!

Requests are also open, should you be so inclined.

[loveislattes]

Happy Birthday to You! (Chase Brody/Reader) Part 1

What starts out as a crappy night turns into a wonderful birthday!  ________________________________________________________________

Chapter 1 is a tiny bit of angst and lotsa fluff! Some threat of violence but no actual violence. 

Chapter 2 will be the smutty fun. 

  “I can't believe this!"

  Your shout reverberated through the room almost as loudly as the door slamming shut. The echoing bang only made your migraine ten times worse and it took all of your strength not to break down crying right then and there. Today was just not your day in the slightest.

  "Chase, what did you make for dinner?" You called out wearily, dropping your bag and coat by the hanging rack.

  Later you would have to pick those up. For now, you just needed to rest; Kick your feet up and lean back into a soft chair or even the couch with a plate of hot food. Hopefully, there would be something good on TV but even if there wasn't, you could just surf Netflix for a while. Anything would work at this point.

  You had made it to the kitchen before you realized Chase hadn't replied. Swiveling around in confusion, you call for him again as you pulled your phone out from your pocket. Silence was the only reply once again. A heavy sigh fell from your lips before you unlocked your phone, found his contact in the list, and hit the dial button.

  Frustration blossomed into anger in your chest as it went straight to voicemail.

  "What the hell could he be doing? It's almost nine o'clock," you muttered to yourself.

  Hopefully, he had left dinner in the fridge or at the very least the microwave, but you began to realize that hope was fruitless as soon as the fridge door swung open. The shelves were just as barren as they were before you went to work at ten that morning.

  "Chase… why?" You groaned.

  The fridge shut with a loud thump and your forehead mimicked the noise as it landed harshly against the steel door. Maybe if you hit it hard enough, you could knock yourself out and wake up somewhere different. Somewhere the world wasn't trying to make you go insane.

  "And to think I was actually looking forward to tomorrow," you sighed.

  Admitting defeat, you started stripping in the kitchen and tossed the uniform in the washing machine down the hall before heading to your bedroom. You quickly brushed your teeth and washed your face in the adjoining bathroom then tossed on an overly large t-shirt of Chase's and collapsed in the bed. The blankets wrapped around you like a cocoon when you rolled over and snagged your phone from the nightstand. A quick text was sent to Chase and then you flipped off the light and turned your phone on silent, ready to be swallowed into a happier world- or at least a dreamless, stress-less one.

  . . .

  When you awoke, it wasn't to the alarm that normally sounded so early in the morning. In fact, you felt much more rested than you should. Immediately a wave of panic hit you and you nearly flung yourself out of the bed, scrambling for your phone only to be suddenly jerked back into a strong pair of arms.

  "Hey! Hey! Calm down babe, it's just me," Chase nearly shouted.

  You struggled for only a moment more until reality set in and immediately you went limp in his hold. His familiar cologne filled your nose as you turned and wrapped around him, trying to calm your racing heart.

  "Scared the fuck out of me," you whispered hoarsely.

  "I'm sorry, babe. I didn't think you'd wake up to me climbing into the bed," he said, "What had you jumping up anyway?"

  "I thought I had overslept," you replied, then paused and tilted away from him to glare at him in scrutiny, "What time is it?"

  He beamed proudly and said, "Nine am. And don't freak out. I talked to Melissa and she said you didn’t have to come in today; there’s more than enough volunteers there. Said you've been working too hard anyway and needed a break."

  His words took a bit longer than you'd like to admit to process but finally you nodded slowly at him. Then last night came back to focus again and the calm mood soured instantly.

  "Where were you last night?" You asked, trying to keep the accusatory tone out of your voice, “I had a really bad day and I needed someone to talk to.”

  He blushed but didn't shy away from nor break eye contact- a good sign that he wasn't about to lie.

  "I was with Sean last night. He helped me pick some things out for your birthday. I got here at like eleven but you were already passed out."

  "So why are you just now climbing into bed at 9?" you asked tersely.

  Chase didn’t reply right away. The hesitation made your sleepy irritation grow in leagues. You were two seconds away from raising your voice at him when he finally spoke up.

  “Come with me. I was hoping you’d get to sleep in some more but since you’re up anyway…”

  He let his words trail off as he rubbed the back of his neck, eyes darting away bashfully, and climbed off the bed with a hand extended towards you.

  You took hold of it and let him pull you up. Chase’s shirt slid up your hips as you moved, catching on the swell of your ass, which earned a low groan from your boyfriend. Before you had time to react, he tugged you in close and wrapped around you until your hips were snug against his; bare ass pressed against his hardening length.

  “Did I mention you look amazing right now?” he asked slyly in your ear.

  A little shiver ran down your spine at the tickle of his breath across your neck.

  “You didn’t, but I appreciate it,” you murmured.

  The initial displeasure you felt from yesterday slowly dissolved away as his warm fingers traced delicate patterns along your forearms.

  “You look absolutely stunning, birthday girl. You always look perfect when you first wake up. The way your hair is all messy and how soft your face looks- Makes me fall in love with you all over again every time.”

  Warmth flushed across your face and you let yourself go limp against him as you tilted your head back. He caught your waiting lips in a gentle kiss.

  “Okay, Romeo, show me this surprise,” you murmured, nudging your nose against his.

  “Right. Right. Let’s go into the kitchen.”

  With one last lingering kiss, he released his hold on you and landed a swift pat to your bottom.

  You gave him a little snort but continued on through the house. At first, when you entered the kitchen with only the soft light streaming through the windows, it didn’t seem like anything was different. It wasn’t until Chase flipped on the ceiling lights that you finally made out what was on the table.

  In the middle of the large wooden table sat an open box of your favorite breakfast sweets. Rose petals surrounded the food as well as three other small boxes. Against the window sat a humongous bouquet of your favorite flower in a gorgeous crystalline vase. It was a beautiful display that was entirely unexpected.

  As tears pricked your eyes, you couldn’t stop the little ‘aww’ that escaped. Immediately you spun around and spotted Chase leaning against the wall. He looked uncharacteristically uncertain, complete with a full-on blush down to his t-shirt, and your heart thumped heavily in your chest.

  “Chase! This is so sweet!” you gasped

  His beautiful blue eyes lit up and a brilliant smile crossed his lips.

  “You like it? Sean said it might be a little overkill but-”

  “It’s absolutely perfect! Thank you so much, baby!”

  Launching yourself at him, you wrapped your arms tight around his shoulders and peppered kisses all over his face.

  His bubbly laughter rang out as you smothered him in as many kisses as you could manage before he finally broke from your hold and cupped your cheeks, planting a smacking kiss on your lips. You didn’t stand a chance in resisting his charm as he poured heart and soul into the embrace.

  “I’m so glad you like it, but this is only the first part of your birthday surprise, babe.”

  Surprised, you pulled back and gave him an incredulous look, to which he simply smirked.

  “Really?” you asked.

  “Yes, really. I have a whole day planned for us. What do you say? Breakfast and then we can get ready for the day?” he implored.

  An excited nod was all you managed before he nudged you toward the table, even taking the time to pull your chair out for you. It was the first time in a long time that he had acted so “properly” but you didn’t mind one bit.

  After you both had food and drink in front of you, he took hold of your free hand and flashed you an easy smile.

  “So you said you had a bad day yesterday. What happened?” he asked, wolfing down a bite.

  Being reminded of the worst day of your life so far made you cringe. Your favorite food was a little less appetizing as you mentally ran over the list of downfalls yesterday.

  “Well, first of all, I was feeling crappy all day; just headaches and dizziness mostly. Not to mention, work was hell. All kinds of rude clients and just everyone at the office was in a bad mood. Then, I got called into Evan’s office near the end of the day. He said my “performance” wasn’t up to snuff and make some rude innuendos about ways I could keep my job, so I told him politely to shove it. Needless to say, I was instructed to clean my cubby out after my shift ended. I just left then and there instead of waiting.”

  Stuffing a big bite into your mouth, you pointedly looked down at your plate and studied it closely. You don’t know exactly what you expected from him, but it might not be good. While Chase made enough to support the basics for you both, you brought in the extra income to keep your lifestyle comfortable. You knew he wouldn’t be mad at you but disappointment was always a possibility.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?!”

  His outburst tore your gaze back to him in shock just to find him almost visibly fuming.

  “Chase?” you asked weakly.

  Blazing with anger, his narrowed eyes met yours and a heated tsk escaped his lips before he took a deep breath and sighed.

  “I’m gonna fucking kill him. He seriously tried to use your job as leverage against you to sleep with him?!”

  When you nodded slowly, he let out a scary growl before shoving away from the table, shaking everything on it hard enough to make your heart stutter in shock. He jerked his phone out of his pocket and was typing furiously on it when you asked him what he was doing.

  “I’m having Anti pay him a visit, of course,” he bit out.

  “Chase, no! I don’t even want the job back, you-”

  He let out a disgruntled noise before snapping back, “I wouldn’t let you go back to work with him anyway. No, that asshole needs to learn not to treat women like that. I’ll make sure Anti doesn’t kill him… just rough him up enough to teach him a lesson.”

  Guilt knotted up your stomach as you watched his fingers fly over the phone keyboard. Maybe you shouldn’t have said anything. Then again, that jerk did need to be stopped. There was no telling how many women he’d done that to before you; younger, more vulnerable females who didn’t have the backbone to say no. As you mulled it over, the thought of Anti paying Evan a visit was becoming more and more appealing.

  “Okay,” you agreed after a few moments, “I wouldn’t want him doing this to anyone else.”

  Chase gave a sympathetic smile and nodded.

  “Exactly. Luckily, you’re my badass babe and you don’t take shit from anyone.”

  Swooping around the table, he pocketed his phone before wrapping you up in his arms. You leaned into him and he pressed a long kiss to the top of your head. There was a long, comfortable, silence as you soaked in the warmth and security that was Chase.

  “Let’s finish eating so you can open your gifts here and then we can go onto the next part of the plan,” Chase murmured.

  Breakfast was finished up with minimal small talk, though his free hand never left yours except to take a drink or wipe his face; almost as if he was afraid to let you go. It was sweet and just another reminder of how lucky you were to have him. Even with his rough edges, Chase was no doubt your perfect other half.

  It wasn’t until he waved a hand in front of your face that you realized you had zoned out while staring at his lovely features and you had to smile at the realization.

  “You okay? You aren’t still thinking about that asshole, are you? I promise Anti isn’t gonna kill him-”

  His words went silent when you pressed your lips to his gently. It didn’t even take him more than a second to catch on, his chair scooting back just enough to give him the room to pull you onto his lap. His strong thighs held you up easily as you wrapped around him and ducked your face into his neck.

  “I wasn’t thinking about that. I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have you in my life. You’ve always got my back and know just how to make me feel like the most important person in the world,” you murmured.

  Although you would never say it out loud, you felt the way his throat lurched and the shudder his breath caused in his chest. He really was a softie underneath it all.

  He was silent for a while, just holding you tight, before finally reminding you, “Hey, you got some gifts to open. Gotta open them before we can get on with the day!”

  “Oh yeah! How could I forget?!”

  Swiftly rearranging yourself on his lap, you snagged up the first gift and tore the wrapping off like a kid on Christmas. The lid went flying onto the floor without a care and inside the box laid your favorite brand of perfume- the expensive kind you rarely ever bought and saved for special occasions only. You had run out of it about a month ago but couldn’t bring yourself to buy the luxury item when you had other, cheaper, options still on your vanity.

  “Chase! You didn’t have to do this!” you gasped happily.

  Your boyfriend simply snickered and wrapped his arms around your waist, hugging you gently before saying, “Yeah, I did. Open the other one.”

  Excitement had you moving even faster than before as you unwrapped the second, slightly bigger, gift. At first, it appeared to be a leather-bound book, but upon closer inspection, you realized it was more than that. On each page was a hand-painted picture of you and Chase; basically a handcrafted photo album! Each picture marked special days in your relationship- anniversaries, birthdays, and get-togethers with the other Septics.

  As your fingers ran longingly down each picture, tears flooded your eyes and the sweet memories came to life in your mind. For the second time already that morning, you had to work hard to keep yourself from crying over his thoughtfulness.

  “I didn’t make ‘em,” he spoke up, “You know I can’t do art for shit, but I paid someone to make them for you; one of Sean’s friends. They did pretty good, huh?”

  You quickly closed the book out of fear that your tears would ruin the gorgeous pages before setting it aside. You tried to blink away the tears but eventually resorted to using your palms until you felt composed enough to move on. Of course, during it all, Chase didn’t say a word, just rubbed your belly softly and rested his chin on your shoulder in silent support.  

  Taking a deep breath, you found the last, and smallest, present with shaking fingers and opened it much slower than the others.

  “I hope you like it,” he voiced as you popped the box lid off, “This is the most important one.”

  Metal glistened in the kitchen light from the bottom of the box and caught your attention. In the middle of a tiny white satin pillow sat a beautiful silver ring that stole your breath. He started talking as you picked up the delicate piece of jewelry to inspect it closer. Laid carefully in the dainty metal twists was a beautiful peridot gem; your birthstone!

  “It’s called a caged heart Claddagh ring, or promise ring. I know we’ve talked about marriage and it will happen, and soon, but until then this ring symbolizes my promise to stay by your side. Through job changes and hard days, whatever may come.”

  That little speech is what finally knocked the final peg down in the dam that held your emotions inside.

  “Oh, Chase!”

  He helped you spin around to face him once more and held you tight as you burrowed in as close to him as possible.

  You soaked in the intimate moment for all it was worth, wanting to have the memory perfect in your mind for the years to come; the scent of his cologne, the feel of his body against yours, the overwhelming comfort he exuded. There wasn't a word to describe just how flawless it was.

  "Hey, we gotta get ready if you wanna be on time for all our plans today," he murmured after a while, fingers combing through your hair gently.

  Sniffling once more, you pulled away and wiped off the remaining drying tears. A quick kiss pressed to his lips and you were up on your feet.

  "Alright. Give me a little bit. I just gotta shower and get dressed. Don’t get into too much trouble while I’m gone,” you teased gently.

  He smirked and prodded your thigh with his nail before retorting, “No promises, babe!”

[blueboxesandtrafficcones]

The Nuptial Necessity - Chapter 22

A 12xRose Human AU

Despite an unglamorous job description, Rose loves the work she does with The Thistle Foundation, a charity founded by her best friend’s great-uncle.  It doesn’t hurt that her boss, her friend’s father, is easy on the eyes.  With a great job, wonderful friends and a loving family, life couldn’t be better – except for having someone to share it with.

All of that is threatened, though, when the great-uncle dies – and sets a strange condition for his nephew to inherit, jeopardizing the Foundation and Rose’s future, sparking a chain of events that might just get her everything she dreamed of and more.

Chapters will be posted on Saturdays and Tuesdays.  Many thanks to my beta, @stupidsatsuma

Rated: Explicit, for eventual smut

@doctorroseprompts

AO3  |  Masterlist

—

Monday

When Malcolm woke the next morning, it was essentially perfect.  Bright sunlight streamed in through the window strong enough to penetrate gaps in the drawn bed curtains, birds chirped outside, and Rose Tyler was sprawled across him, sound asleep.

Not bothering to stop a beaming smile he just relaxed back into the pillows, wrapping one arm around Rose’s back while the other folded behind his head.  He didn’t have to check the clock to know it was early, too early to try to get up.  If he did the staff would drop what they were doing to attend to him, and he hated the thought of pulling them from their routine more than necessary.  It was a fact of life in a house like this that certain things had to be done before the family was up, and he didn’t want to disrupt that.

Besides, he was busy acting as a pillow for Rose.

The birdsong outside combined with her soft breathing into a soothing melody, and before he knew it, his eyes were once again slipping shut, sleep reclaiming him.

No matter; he was on his honeymoon.

A lie-in sounded perfect.

-

He woke from his dozing by Rose tensing suddenly against him, and his eyes flew open to find her staring up at him.

“I think someone’s in here,” she breathed, and he relaxed to know it wasn’t their position that bothered her.

“It’s probably the maid, opening the drapes, lighting the fire and bringing us tea,” he replied in kind, conscious that the girl could probably hear them; the curtains weren’t particularly thick.  “She’ll leave in a minute.”

Sure enough, several quiet moments later, the door shut firmly, louder than necessary; on a normal morning it would’ve been near silent, and he knew she’d done that to let them know she was gone without disturbing them.

“She’s gone,” he said in a normal tone.  “Sorry, should’ve warned you.”

Rose yawned, burrowing deeper into his embrace to his delight.  “S’okay.  Good to know, though.  Does she come in at the same time every day?”

“Nine o’clock unless told otherwise,” he confirmed.

“Mhmm, okay.  We’ll have to keep that in mind- don’t want her catching us… in the middle of anything.”  She glanced up at him with a coy little smirk, and he had to swallow twice to even attempt a reply.

“Uh huh.”  Smooth, he cursed himself, tongue-tied; his imagination was running rampant, and at any moment she could shift and feel-

Her small grunt of surprise as she did just that had his cheeks flaming, and he stared up at the ceiling in mortification.

“Um…”

She wriggled around next to him, a weight a moment later on his shoulder telling him she hadn’t run away, had instead moved slightly closer.  “You said we were meeting Jack for breakfast,” she murmured.  “How much time do we have?”

Eyes widening he glanced down at her, surprised to find a barely-banked fire burning in her gaze, bottom lip trapped between her teeth.

“Guh.”

Her expression cleared, a smile growing, and she reached up, patting his cheek.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to break you.  Maybe tomorrow morning.”  Sitting up, she bent down and pressed her lips to the corner of his mouth; not quite a proper kiss, but far more than a friendly peck.  “D’you mind if I use the loo first?”

And she was gone, padding across the room, leaving him in a befuddled state.

“Okay.”

It was going to be a deliciously unbearable day.

-

They went down to breakfast once again hand in hand, and more than once Rose had to use that connection to keep Malcolm from walking into a wall or door frame.  He couldn’t take his eyes off her, a big, dopey grin permanently etched on his often-severe face.  She wasn’t entirely sure what had him in such a good mood; the previous night was a bit hazy starting mid-dessert, though some things were clear- how he’d cared for her while she was sick, how safe and comfortable he made her feel.  She vaguely remembered being in the library, and a serious conversation, but the details were gone.  She considered telling him that, asking what they had discussed, but was slightly embarrassed about all of it.

Entering the dining room she found serving plates on warmers covered in all the fixings of a full-English- eggs and bangers, beans, blood pudding, oatmeal, pancakes, waffles, toast…  The spread covered half the table, smelling and looking incredible, and her stomach rumbled in response.

“Hungry?” Malcolm teased, releasing her hand in favor of putting his own at the small of her back, guiding her forward.  “Dig in.”

“Alright.”  Picking up a warm plate she took a little bit of most things, waiting until Malcolm had filled his own before going towards the other end of the table, where three place settings were arranged.  He took the head of the table and she settled on his right-hand side, and was just taking her first bite when the door opened again and Jack burst in, larger than life.

“Good morning honeymooners!” he boomed, efficiently fixing his own plate before joining them.  “How was your first night in Scotland?” he asked Rose with a wink and a smirk, making Malcolm groan.

“Jack-”

“Absolutely brilliant,” she interrupted, taking a sip of her orange juice and finding that it was, in fact, a mimosa, barely able to refrain from coughing in surprise.  “Bloody hell, is everyone trying to get me drunk?”

Malcolm laughed.  “Sorry, I think they’re just trying to impress you.  Want regular juice?”

She pursed her lips, considering.  “No, it’s fine- I just wasn’t expecting it on a Monday morning.  But, we are on holiday, aren’t we?”

“Don’t worry,” Jack smirked from across from her, “it would take a lot of drinking for someone of your new status to be considered an alcoholic, and even more to raise any eyebrows.  No one’s judging.”

“I highly doubt that, but appreciate the support,” she said dryly.  “Now, where are you taking us on this tour this morning?”

-

“I don’t know about this,” Rose whispered to Malcolm, biting her lower lip in worry.  They were standing a few hundred meters from the back of the house at the stables, a beautiful chestnut horse in front of her, waiting for her to mount it.  “I’ve never been on a horse before.”  A horse groom was holding the beast steady and still, hopefully out of hearing distance.

“You’ll be alright,” Malcolm soothed.  “I promise- Tardis is the sweetest horse in the world, perfect for you.  Just, try to be confident and it’ll be fine.  She’ll sense your fear.”

“That… doesn’t really help.”  Sighing, Rose rolled her shoulders back and nodded.  “Okay, let’s do this.”

“That’s my girl.”

He guided her to the steps, helping her up and onto the horse and making sure she got settled, occasionally pausing to talk to the horse and pat it.  He was clear and concise, and by the end of his impromptu lecture, she was feeling somewhat better about the idea.  “You know, there are easier ways to kill me for my inheritance,” she joked weakly, as he moved across to his own horse and swung himself up easily.  “This seems like a lot of effort.”

Her husband just laughed, the bastard, and trotted his horse over to hers.  “Sit up straight, keep hold of the reins, and stay centered,” he instructed.  “You’ll be brilliant.”  Reaching over he smacked the horse’s rump, and she lurched forward.

“Oh fuck you,” she gasped, holding tightly to the reins, certain she was about to fall to her death as they rushed down the lane at what felt like an unreasonable speed.  “Fuck you, fuck you, fuckfuckfuck- hey!  I’m doing it!”

“That’s it!” he cheered, and she didn’t dare look back, letting the horse go where it liked; a moment later Malcolm appeared out of the corner of her eye, pulling abreast of her.  “Here we go.”

Jack was just ahead, waiting for them at a crossroads, and watched them approach with a grin.  “Ready?”

His eyes widened as she continued on past him, and she called back, “How do I stop this thing?”

Their laughter was utterly unhelpful, and she swore that as soon as she was off the horse, she would kill them both- if she didn’t die first herself.

-

She slid off the horse in an entirely undignified way right into Malcolm’s waiting arms, clinging to him as her legs trembled, fighting to keep her upright.

“See, that wasn’t so bad,” he murmured in her ear, effortlessly holding her up.  “You did it!  I’m so proud of you.”

Rose just whimpered in response, resting her forehead against his sternum, panting for breath.  It had been terrifying and exhilarating, and while she could see the appeal, she’d rather keep both feet on the ground.

“Sweetheart, are you okay?”  He leaned back to see her face, concern etched across his.  “Rose.”

“Please don’t make me do that again,” she whispered, pleading, cutting a nervous glance towards Jack, who was several feet away on the other side of the road with his and Malcolm’s horses, tying the reins to a tree.  “I can’t- please, Malcolm.”

“Okay.”  He didn’t hesitate, nodding.  “No problem.  Let’s have lunch for now, then we can figure out how to get back.”

She nodded in agreement, finally feeling stable enough to let go of him and stand on her own.  “Thank you.”

Malcolm kissed her forehead.  “Of course.”  Taking the reins from her he secured them to a tree as Jack had done, and led her out onto the riverbank towards where his cousin was setting out a picnic blanket.  It was a spectacular spot, with a view of the water and the farmland on the other side, secluded and peaceful.

“So, what did you think of the property?” Jack asked as they approached, looking up from where he unpacked the picnic basket.  “Rose?”

“It’s beautiful,” she enthused, dropping onto the ground and wincing.  “God, my arse is sore.”

“Don’t,” Malcolm cut in when Jack opened his mouth.  “Just- don’t.”

Rose snorted.  “Everything looks well-cared for.  I don’t know much about property management, but from an aesthetic view, it’s incredible.”

“I agree.  You seem to be doing an excellent job, Jack, thank you.  I have one or two concerns- ideas, really- but we can discuss them once we return to the house.  The most important question, though, is- what’s for lunch?”

Jack grinned.  “Oh, you’re gonna love this.”

-

They spent a good two hours sitting on the blanket under partially cloudy skies, trading stories and food containers, getting to know each other.  Rose was thrilled to hear about Malcolm in his younger years, but was thankful that Jack avoided the topic of Missy.  Jack’s own stories were barely believable, full of adventures and travel and sexual exploits that had her in near hysterics.

It was so enjoyable that by the time they packed up she’d almost forgotten any troubles, though they came rushing back as soon as they started towards the road and horses.

Rose stopped dead, tugging Malcolm to a halt, waiting until Jack had gotten some distance between them to whisper, “How are we getting back?”

His mouth tightened as he considered her.  “Is it riding by yourself that’s the problem, or horses in general?” he asked carefully.  “I can have Jack take Tardis back on her own and you can ride with me, or we can have him go back himself and come back for us in the Land Rover.  Or I suppose we could walk, but it’s a good five miles.”

She looked from him to the horses to the sky, weighing her options.  “Riding with you might be okay,” she hedged, “at least, I’m willing to try it.  Is that okay?”

“Of course,” Malcolm agreed immediately.  “We’ll start back, and you just let me know if we need to stop.  Let me just go tell Jack.”

“Okay.”

Wrapping her arms around herself she let him get a headstart, following a minute later.  By the time she arrived it had all been arranged, Jack on his horse holding the reins to Malcolm’s, Malcolm on hers- without the saddle, which she spotted a moment later with Jack.

“Are you sure this is okay?” she asked, looking up at him, worried.

“Yes.  I mean, it’s not the best idea, but for us, it’s fine.  Like I said, she’s as peaceful as they come.”

“But… there’s no saddle.”

“That’s easier for her, and more comfortable for us.  I promise, it’s okay- just take my hand, and I’ll pull you up.”

It took several tries, but eventually she was seated in front of him, pressed solidly against him.  He had one arm around her waist, anchoring her, the other held the reins.  “Now, it’ll take longer to get back,” Malcolm said, leaning forward slightly to talk into her ear, “but we’ll be going slow.  Even if something happens it’ll be minor.  Okay?”

“I trust you.”  Moving slowly and carefully she half-turned to meet his eye.  “I trust you.  Just… let’s go.”

“Okay.”  And then they started moving, and after several hundred meters, she started to relax back against him.

Though she hadn’t been thrilled at first at the idea it would take a while to return, and her thighs were absolutely killing her when she finally slid off back at the stable, it had been wonderful to spend so long pressed against Malcolm, his chest to her back, breathing together.  In some ways it had felt more intimate than when they’d gone to bed together two nights before, made her feel so much closer to him.

She wanted more of that closeness, but with more privacy and less clothing.

She couldn’t wait to go to bed that night.