#and I was like if you don’t want to go to UIL let me know AND SOME LITTLE SHIT RAISED HER HAND but I stayed calm!!

[blurglesmurfklaine]

(*.*)

[creampuffqueen]

With your heart in your hand (and your sword at your side)

a/n: here it is! the first request from my 300 follower celebration! this was requested by the lovely @morganofthewildfire, with the prompt “They’ve grown so much, it’s hard to believe how little they used to be”, with Rowaelin! enjoy!

~~~~

Aelin Ashryver Whitethorn Galathynius, queen of Terrasen, stood in the courtyard of her palace, fire flickering at her fingertips, watching as the two small children before her copied her stance and produced puffs of smoke that billowed from their hands. 

“Good, Thallan,” She praised her son, smiling as a spark flew from his open palm and onto the stone ground. The boy grinned back at her, stretching his arms out further to focus the heat more. 

“Aerith, that’s so good!” Aelin turned to the other child, her youngest daughter, feeling the heat at her side. The tiniest of flames fluttered from Aerith’s hand, and the girl’s blue-gold eyes lit up with delight.

“Mama! I’m doing it!”

The flame sputtered out a moment later, and Aelin couldn’t resist scooping up her daughter into a hug. “I’m so proud of you, sweetheart!”

“Mama, look!” Thallan demanded her attention as a matching flame, twin to his sister’s, appeared in his palm.

Just like Aerith’s, Thallan’s flame didn’t last for more than a few seconds, but Aelin couldn’t care less. She pulled her littlest child toward her, relishing his squeal of delight.

“Both of you are doing so well!”

“Can we show Daddy?” Aerith begged, pointing to the sky. Aelin’s gaze followed the little finger, her grin widening as she saw the white-tailed hawk that was circling the courtyard. 

“Of course you can. I know he’ll be impressed.”

Rowan dove to the ground, shifting in a flash of light and landing on his feet. The two five-year-olds escaped their mother’s grip to run to him, clinging to his legs.

“Daddy!” Thallan shouted excitedly, “Watch us! Me and Aerith can make fire like Mommy can!”

Rowan locked eyes with his mate across the yard, and she leaned against one of the walls with a smirk. Watch them, she said with her eyes, They both can do it.

“I’m gonna be the best fire wielder in the world!” Aerith laughed, focusing hard on the tips of her fingers. Fire danced at the tip of each one, for barely half a second, before going up in puffs of smoke. “Did you see that, Daddy?”

“That’s so good, sweetheart.” Rowan praised, his smile so wide that his pointed canines could be seen. “And you learned that so quickly.”

Beaming at his compliment, Aerith repeated her actions over again, producing small flames that went up in smoke. 

Thallan tugged at his father’s hand, demanding his attention. “Daddy, I’m gonna be even better than Aerith.”

“Well, nobody can be better than Lyria,” his twin sniped back, her bottom lip jutting out in a pout. “So there.”

“Don’t start fighting, you two.” Rowan sighed. “Thallan, show me your fire. I’m sure both of you are incredible.”

He always knew just what to say. Aelin watched happily as her children both produced small bursts of flame. At five years old, they had already achieved a lot power-wise. Both of them were creating snowstorms in their cribs when they were toddlers, and their powers had only grown. 

Recently, the two children had gotten overexcited during a game of hide and seek and set a curtain on fire, leading to their current situation; Aelin training both of them with her power of fire. 

After showing off to his father, Thallan distracted his twin’s attempts at creating more fire by starting a game of tag. The high pitched squeals of the two children running around the courtyard were music to Aelin’s ears.

With Aerith and Thallan distracted, Rowan made his way over to his wife and mate. He wrapped a strong arm over her shoulders and leaned down to kiss her hair.

“Remember when they were so little?” Aelin sighed. Thallan nearly tagged his sister, but she shifted into her animal form at the last second, causing him to miss. The hawk she’d transformed into gave an indignant squawk, and flew up to the tallest tree.

“They’ve both grown so much.” Rowan agreed. “It’s hard to believe that they used to be that little.”

“Wasn’t it just yesterday they were just babies?” Aelin could feel herself starting to get emotional, and she wiped futilely at her eyes. “Wasn’t it just yesterday all of them were babies?”

“They grow up too fast.” Her mate murmured gently in her ear. “Remember how Lyria and Sam would crawl into our bed at dawn to snuggle?”

“Or how Aspen never liked to crawl, he was just sitting one day and walking the next?” Aelin sighed, reliving fond memories of her children. 

“Or how Evalin would run around the palace with just her diaper and a tiara?” His hand rubbed gentle circles on her back as Aelin sniffed softly.

“And now they’re so big, Rowan.”

Before he could respond, Rowan’s attention caught on something in the sky. Aelin followed his gaze, a wet laugh escaping her throat as she saw her youngest children, both in their animal forms, chasing each other through the sky.

An ear-piercing shriek came from over the horizon, another bird flying over the high wall of the courtyard. Another white-tailed hawk, the same form as his father. Aspen shifted, landing on top of the wall, and waved to his parents.

“Hey Aspen, done with your schoolwork?” Aelin called, quickly drying her eyes. 

“Uile air a dhèanamh*, Mama.” Her son replied proudly.

“Obair mhath, a mhic**.” Rowan replied in the Old Language. As part of their royal studies, Aelin and Rowan required all their children to study another language. Aspen, ever his father’s twin, chose to study the old language of the Fae.

“Are Aerith and Thallan practicing fighting?” Aspen asked, in common.

“Kids, do you want to show your brother what you can do?” Rowan called to the hawks in the sky. Both birds squawked back, and dove fast for the courtyard.

“Aspen we can make fire!” Aerith squealed, mouth already moving a thousand miles per hour straight from her animal form. “Watch watch watch!”

The twins proceeded to show off their new skills proudly, while their older brother looked on happily from his perch on the wall. Aelin glanced up at the sky, watching as the sun began to dip low.

“I think it’s almost time for dinner, yeah?” Rowan asked, interrupting Aspen showing the twins a move to control wind, “Let’s head in.”

“Rachamaid ithe!” Aspen cried happily, clearly trying to show off. When Aerith gave him a confused look, he translated, “Let’s go eat!”

Inside the palace, Aelin and Rowan sat at the dinner table, taking in the scenery of all their children gathered in one place.

Lyria, ever the princess, eating prim and proper. Sam, sunk low in his seat, arms crossed sullenly as he and his older sister quipped back and forth. Aspen, speaking rapidly in the Old Language to whoever would listen. Evalin, trying to get her little sister to hold still long enough to braid her silver hair. Aerith and Thallan, subtly flicking bits of dinner at each other. 

Their family was messy and chaotic, and growing up far too quickly for her liking, but sitting there, eating dinner with all of them, Aelin wouldn’t trade them for the world. 

~~~~

a/n: i used Scottish Gaelic for the Old Language, with just google translate, so it’s likely to not be correct. if anyone speaks that language, feel free to correct me!

Uile air a dhèanamh: All done

Obair mhath, a mhic: Well done, son

[generallynerdy]

Our Little Secret Part 6 (Merlin & Child!Reader)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Summary: (Y/N), Gwaine, and Percival are captured by Morgana and taken to Ismere. The men are sent to the mines, but (Y/N) is held elsewhere. The only thing her friends know of her is that they can hear her screams from levels far below her prison. Meanwhile, an old friend makes a reappearance.

Key: (Y/N) - your name Warnings: torture, imprisonment, unconsciousness, violence, injuries, mentions of death, mentions of stabbing, annoying cliffhangers Word Count: 2,700

Note: happy reunited times??? i think nOT!!!!!!!! have a cliFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!!!! also sorry this is so late, i went to Academic UIL and got first in my event so it’s been kinda crazy

“Sir Gwaine set off for Ismere some six weeks ago. With him went threescore of our finest men. There has been no word from them since.”

“Did you find the others?” Gwaine whispered to Percival as he kept at his work, the pickaxe in his hands getting heavier by the moment.

Percival nodded. “Every last one, except (Y/N).”

“They wouldn’t let a lady down here,” Gwaine huffed. “Even if she is a knight.”

“Someone said they heard screams the other night, from upstairs,” Percival muttered darkly.

Gwaine raised his eyebrows, heart dropping. “A woman’s?”

At Percival’s hesitant nod, he glanced at the ground, terror gripping him. If (Y/N) was being kept upstairs, there was no telling what Morgana would do to her. After all, they were old friends.

“Now, (Y/N), dear,” Morgana hissed into the girl’s ear.

(Y/N) lay helplessly on a slab of stone, chains boring into her skin and cutting her viciously. Blood trickled down her arms and from her ankles, where more chains wrapped around her. It pooled under her, staining the stone as it had done for weeks, making the rock crimson rather than the dull grey it had started as.

Morgana chuckled darkly. “Last chance to give up.”

She dragged a knife down the side of the girl’s right arm, just barely piercing the skin. (Y/N) bit her tongue to avoid crying out in pain, refusing to look weak.

“I told you before,” Morgana continued, “Pledge your allegiance to me and you’ll have free reign of this castle. Maybe I’ll even give you an army of knights.”

“I would rather die,” (Y/N) choked out.

After weeks of torture, both physical and psychological, the poor girl was a mess. She was an adult now and had a few years of experience as a knight, but she had never been captured before. It was taking a toll on her body, though more so her mind.

As it happened, (Y/N) was starting to see people, people who were long dead. She kept seeing Lancelot, for one, as well as others she knew were alive, but were nowhere near her prison. Every night, one of her friends was there to save her, though her chains would never be removed, not really.

Morgana let out an animalistic growl. “And you will, as soon as I know who taught you.”

“What?” (Y/N) asked quietly, suddenly confused. Taught her what? This had never been part of their conversations before.

“Who taught you magic, of course,” Morgana grinned evilly.

(Y/N) felt her stomach drop. How could Morgana possibly know about her magic? No one knew but Merlin and Gaius. Of course, Lancelot had known back then, but he had been dead for a long time.

The only other person (Y/N) could think of was Mordred, that little boy from so long ago. But he swore to keep her secret and she trusted him to do so, wherever he was.

“I don’t have magic,” she replied stubbornly.

“Oh, there’s no point hiding it, darling,” came Morgana’s cackle. “I’ve known your little secret for a long time, thanks to a little girl too foolish and too grief-stricken to worry who saw her move a boulder into a forest clearing.”

(Y/N) shook her head violently. “No. No, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Morgana grew furious. “Stop! Stop lying!” She shrieked. “I saw you move that stone for Lancelot’s memorial! I know you have magic! Now, tell me who taught you or--!”

“Lady Morgana!” a voice shouted from outside.

(Y/N) laughed weakly. “I suppose you’ll never know.”

“I’ll be back,” Morgana growled. “And you will tell me. Or the next person that visits you will be a knight’s corpse.”

She slammed the prison door behind her as she went, leaving (Y/N) to shake with worry. Her friends were down in the mines with the other men, she knew that, but Morgana would murder them in a second if it would tell her what she needed to know.

(Y/N) didn’t want to out Merlin, seeing as he was Camelot’s greatest weapon, but she couldn’t let Percival or Gwaine die. If it came down to it, she knew Merlin would want her to save them. She could only hope that rescue would come from Camelot before she had to make such a decision.

Then again, she realised, Merlin had told her never to rely purely on faith.

Taking a deep breath, she waited until she was sure it was quiet in the hall. No one was around, so she could make as much noise as she needed.

Metal clanged as she slammed her chained wrist against the stone, whimpering as she did. She avoided hurting herself as much as possible, while still getting the force she needed to break her chains open. When the first one snapped, she smiled.

One down, three to go.

When Mordred turned the corner of the tunnel and found himself faced with a group of Camelot knights, he realised it was his moment. He passed Arthur over to the first two to approach, not bothering to stick around as they walked off. Instead, he rushed to the upper levels, sneaking past guards who looked frantically for Lady Morgana.

They would never find her, not alive, anyway, for Mordred had stabbed her in the back only moments ago.

Reaching the lowest floor of the upper levels, he knocked out a guard with the hilt of his knife, clearing the entire musty hallway of security. He sprinted past heavy wooden doors, inside of which came screams and cries for help. He ignored all of them until he got to the last door.

Mordred took a deep breath and kicked it open with all his might, sending the massive thing off its hinges and onto the floor. He stepped into the room, hoping to see a familiar face, but instead seeing an empty stone slab with broken chains. Worry started to settle in his stomach, but he didn’t have a moment to process before he was taken into a chokehold.

Two strong arms wrapped around him, pulling him into a corner and slowly cutting off his air flow. He struggled in his attacker’s grip before suddenly realising they had chains still attached to their wrists.

Tapping furiously on their arm, Mordred gargled past ragged breaths; “(Y/N)! (Y/N)! I’m here-- here to help!”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, she let go and he fell to the ground. He stumbled to his feet and got a good look at the girl, who was leaning weakly against the wall. She was no longer in her armour and cape, but rugged men’s clothing stained in red.

(Y/N) gazed at him curiously, clearly not recognising him at first. Looking him up and down, she froze when she met his eyes, his bright eyes that she had not seen in so long.

“Mordred?” She whispered.

That was when her body chose to give out, making her fall against the prison wall for support. Mordred panicked and rushed to help her up, holding most of her weight and keeping her from collapsing entirely.

“Mor-- Mordred,” she muttered, reaching up to put her hand against his cheek. “It’s you.”

“It’s me.” He smiled lightly down at her. “I’m going to get you out of here, (Y/N). I’m going to bring you home.”

Mordred leaned down and, with all his effort, picked her up bridal style. He held her tightly as he exited the prison and made his way down to the mine levels again, hoping that Merlin, Arthur, and the men of Camelot hadn’t left yet. Of course, he realised soon enough that they would never leave without their dear (Y/N)-- and he couldn’t blame them.

As soon as he descended the last flight of stairs, voices echoed up to where he could hear them.

“We haven’t found (Y/N) yet and the boy-- the boy who saved Arthur disappeared,” one of the knights said.

Mordred could hear Merlin take a deep breath as he turned the corner into the main area of the mine, where they all gathered.

“We need to find (Y/N),” Merlin said. “If Morgana had her in the upper levels--”

“I’ve got her,” Mordred interrupted as he walked up to them, (Y/N) in his arms. He immediately started walking past them, though, headed toward the exit.

The knights glanced at each other and Merlin, who gave a heavy sigh. Gwaine shrugged and followed after Mordred, a rush of adrenaline filling him. Percival was right at his heels, the others following the giant’s example.

Merlin was tempted to take another quick look around the castle, but he worried about leaving Mordred alone with (Y/N). What kind of game was he playing, stabbing Morgana and rescuing (Y/N)? Was he being sentimental or was this the start of something else? Either way, Merlin didn’t like it.

Back in Camelot, (Y/N) was kept under close watch. Merlin offered up his room for her to stay in and Gaius examined her, coming to the conclusion that her physical injuries weren’t extensive.

Mordred had returned to Camelot with them, by request of Arthur. If the king hadn’t asked him, he probably would have joined them anyway, seeing as he was by (Y/N)’s side the whole way back. She hadn’t woken up except for a single time, when they were still travelling through the blizzarding lands of the north.

They had made a makeshift bed for both her and Arthur on a cart they stole from Ismere, bundling them up as best they could. Mordred and Merlin sat atop it as well, keeping a close eye on the two. Merlin was more concerned with Mordred than he was them, though.

When (Y/N) began to shift in her unconscious state, Mordred leapt to action, leaning over her when she woke up.

“Mordred?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

He tucked the blankets in tighter and nodded, trying to smile. “I’m here, (Y/N).”

“It’s so cold,” she managed, her breath turning to fog. “So cold.”

“Here,” he muttered.

He helped her to sit up and lift her blankets just enough that he could move underneath her, propping her up on his lap. Mordred wrapped his arms around her shivering form as best he could in an attempt to share body heat. Without being prompted, (Y/N) grabbed his significantly warmer hands with hers, which were shaking involuntarily.

“I must be dreaming,” she said.

Mordred laughed a little. “How do you know?”

She shifted deeper into the blankets, eyes beginning to droop from pure exhaustion. “You’re here.”

When they arrived in Camelot, Mordred refused to leave (Y/N)’s side. He was by her bed as she slept, ever the watchful guardian. Because of this, Merlin stuck around, too, as if he wasn’t planning to already.

Night was almost upon them when a quiet knock sounded on the door. Percival entered, wary of the three sets of eyes looking at him questioningly.

“Uh, Mordred,” he said to the boy by the bed. “Arthur wants to speak to you.”

Mordred looked back at (Y/N), almost considering saying no before he sighed and stood. He went to leave, nodding once at Gaius and Merlin. He walked out, but Percival didn’t follow, leaning against the doorway.

“How bad is it?” He asked quietly.

Gaius sighed. “I fear the scars around her wrists and ankles won’t ever go away. They might fade, but…”

“I’m glad Morgana’s dead,” Percival muttered.

It was almost a shocking thing to hear from the usually gentle giant’s mouth. Then again, they were all fond of (Y/N), especially the knights. She was one of their own, a girl who they had all trained with since she was a teenager. Percival had known her for the least amount of time, yet he was still extremely protective of her, so one could imagine how the others felt.

Seeing as (Y/N) was safe with Percival, Merlin and Gaius took their leave, intending to make sure the others were alright. When they left, Percival took Mordred’s former seat by the girl’s bed.

Perhaps half an hour into his stay, (Y/N) began to stir. He pulled his chair closer, speaking calmingly to her as she woke up.

“You’re alright,” he said. “You’re safe, (Y/N). You’re back in Camelot.”

“Camelot?” She sat up in bed suddenly, eyes wide. “But...what about Ismere? Morgana? Mor--” She was about to say something else, but went silent, eyebrows furrowed as she looked away.

Percival put a reassuring hand on her wrist. “Arthur and Merlin rescued us. You were unconscious.”

“Oh,” she said quietly.

To him, it sounded as if she was almost disappointed, though he couldn’t tell why. The knight had failed to mention Mordred, as he didn’t think she knew him personally. Thus, she was led to believe her rescue by the young man’s hand was only a figment of her imagination. It had really been Arthur who saved her and carried her out, she decided. Merlin wouldn’t have been able to do that.

“Are you alright?” Percival asked her, shaking her from her thoughts. “We could-- we could hear the screams from the mines. What did she do to you?”

“I--” (Y/N) swallowed, not able to meet his eye.

She didn’t want to tell him about the countless times Morgana’s blade drew her blood, nor the days she went without food or water. She couldn’t bare to recount the tear of her skin under the chains.

All her memories brought to light, she began to cry, sobbing into her hand.

Percival’s heart broke at the sight and he could not help leaning forward, embracing her in his strong arms. She practically melted at his touch, crying instead into his shoulder for comfort.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry. She’ll never hurt you again.”

“You can’t promise that,” came her whimper.

He lifted her gently from his shoulder, eyes searching her face. “Morgana is dead, (Y/N).”

(Y/N)’s jaw dropped slowly and a small smile appeared. The tears in her eyes shined and a little laugh escaped her lips. “Dead? I--” Her smile disappeared.

“What is it?” Percival asked, worried that she was hurting.

“She was my friend, once,” she whispered. “It feels wrong to be happy.”

The man was silent for a moment and, being the softy he was, dragged her in for another hug. “That wasn’t Morgana. Not the one you knew. She’s been gone a long time.”

“I miss her,” she sighed. “How did she...how did it happen?”

“The boy that rescued you-- he stabbed her.”

(Y/N) processed his words and pulled away from him, bewildered. “There was a boy?” He nodded and she stormed him with questions before he could say anything else. “With dark hair, bright eyes, pale skin? Did he rescue me? Tell me, Percival! Was his name Mordred?”

“Yes-- yes, that was his name, I think,” he stuttered. “Why?”

“It wasn’t my imagination! Where is he?” She almost leapt from the bed in excitement, but refrained from doing so until she knew where Mordred was. “You have to take me to him! I have to see him!”

“What?” He instantly reeled. “No! You’ve just woken up! You haven’t had time to rest--”

“Oh, please!” She begged. “I have to see him, it’s been so long!”

Percival sighed and glanced toward the door, almost expecting Gaius or Merlin to be there glaring at him. When he saw no one, he looked back at (Y/N), who was using her puppy eyes on him.

“Fine,” he sighed. She cheered, but he interrupted her. “But no Spot until after you’ve rested. And if we get in trouble, you threatened me.”

“Of course!” She gushed, hugging him again. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Alright, alright,” he laughed. “But remember-- my cooperation? Our little secret.”

(Y/N) grinned and held out her pinky for him to link with her own, making both of them laugh a little. “Promise.”

Merlin Tags: @pearlll09

Part 7

Masterlist

[sweetestrequiems]

Green Hair, Don’t Care

Summary: Never let the Andrews twins touch hair dye.

Character(s): Jonalyn Andrews/Jacob Andrews

Written for funsies cause I love my twins.

Endless days at school, and endless nights inside the house or at a Whataburger. Working tech booths during the sunrise, and playing pranks on each other at nightfall were the things the Andrews twins did best. They were far from normal, to say the least, but the two loved each other. They were each other’s rocks, and would never let anything stop them. Or so they thought. That all changed on the warm evening of March 19th, 2018. Junior year of high school was drawing to a close, and one of the twins wanted to make a mark. That twin was Jonalyn, the older sister.

“No ma’am, you are NOT dyeing your hair green! Not with your UIL thing coming up soon and you need to look uniform with your brother and the rest of the cast,” the middle aged woman in front of Jonalyn crossed her arms, That was the twins’ mother, Mrs. Andrews. A dedicated mother, and a dedicated nurse that valued her free days at home. This just so happened to be one of those free days. And though she loved her children dearly, she did not love them that much. “Are you crazy, Jonalyn Danielle? I love you, but there is no way I am letting you color your hair green.”

A huff from the seventeen year old girl. “You let Jakey dye his hair a darker brown! You let him do this and that all the–” Mrs. Andrews held up a finger, and shook her head. “I did not. That was your father who let Jacob dye his hair. And your brother paid for it.” There was a brief pause, before Mrs. Andrews lowered her finger. “I will make this deal with you only once. I will let you dye your hair under the conditions that you find someone to do it with you, and that you don’t leave the bathroom looking like you murdered Shrek or something. Does that sound fair?”

A smile from Jonalyn. She got her mother to cave in. “Yes ma’am!” A nod from her mother. “I’m going to bed. Make sure to tell your brother to not make too much noise. Same goes to you. Good night,” she leans down to kiss Jonalyn’s forehead before disappearing down the hallway and up the stairs.

“Yes! Pouting always works with mom. Okay, now to get my brother!” If there was one thing Jacob was not expecting, it was for his sister to burst into his room. Fumbling around with his bowl of cereal, he looks up. Wide eyed and a little miffed was a way to describe how he currently felt. “WHAT THE HELL JON–” “SHUT UP. I HAVE A CRAZY IDEA.” Crazy idea and the twins never mixed, but he still listened because it entertained him. “Okay, what’s this crazy idea of yours then?” “You and I go to the bathroom right now and dye our hair green. No questions about it. Besides, then we get to physically match other than our heights AND our last names. The Andrews twins are gonna leave a mark, brother dearest!”

It was an insane idea, but Jacob can’t say he didn’t like it. “Fuck it, let’s do it!” Setting the bowl of cereal down on his nightstand, the youngest twin stood up almost too quickly, and stumbled a step or two forward. “Do you have the bleach for my hair? ‘cause I’m not blonde like you are,” his arm wrapped around his sister and held on to her tightly. “I’m glad you actually roped me into doing this. Can you imagine the look on Yang’s face tomorrow when we see her? And Mar? She’s gonna lose it, sister dearest.”

“Yang loses her shit whenever we show up. We cause chaos in the tech booth.” “I mean, yeah, we do– but it’s what we do best. Chaos in the tech booth gets us UIL ready.” “I know, Jakey. I know. But Yang isn’t the one I would worry about. I would worry about Mar, honestly. Since, y’know... she’s your girlfriend?” “Relax, Jon Bon. She probably won’t have as bad of a reaction as Yang will.” “I’m trusting you on that one. Come on, I’m excited!”

And so, the twins spent a good portion of the remainder of the evening dyeing each other’s head. The result? Emerald-ish hair for Jonalyn, and forest green for Jacob. These two twins were ready to be the walking definitions of chaos in the morning during school. And that next morning was indeed something unexpected.

“Where are those two?” The girl they named Yang impatiently tapped her foot with her arms crossed. “Jon owes me a drink from Whataburger. She knows this.” The younger girl nodded. That was Marissa, or Mar. A little bit ditzy, but a total sweetheart until she got pissed off. She was also seen as Yang’s daughter, with how protective Yang was. “Yeah, and Jakey’s never this late... I’m worried about him. Are they okay?”

The red Silverado pulled up into the parking lot. Finally, the twins were at school. And, Jonalyn did not forget about Yang’s drink, either.

“What the actual fuck–” “Jakey, what did you do to your hair?”

“Hi Yang. Hi my love,” Jacob pulled Mar into a hug, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Also, what did I do? Simple. I dyed it with Jonalyn so she would have someone to dye it with, and became the living definition of chaos.” “After all,” Jonalyn handed the cup in her left hand to Yang, “my brother and I are the definition of chaos, but we had to look the part. We wouldn’t be the Andrews twins if we didn’t do anything chaotic.”

There was just a low sigh from Yang. “You’re both insane. Whatever, come on... we can’t be late to class today. We finally get to go to the stage and I get to beat all of you with my binder.”

And so, the group of four walked on to class together. The twins didn't show much care for others’ comments.

“You’re crazy, but I love you for it, sister dearest,” Jacob wraps his arm around Jonalyn to give her a hug. “You’re crazy for doing it with me. I love you too, brother dearest.”

[liz-and-the-blue-bird]

Kurt’s Hibike Rewatch Notes (1/?)

Well, I haven’t talked about anime seriously in a while on tumblr for a while now, but since tumblr still seems to be standing (a surprise for everyone involved, even tumblr), and I’m rewatching hibike to recap before watching the sequel movie on thursday, let’s talk. 

If you wanna follow along with me, i’ll put timestamps to all the stuff i’m talking about, and you can watch Hibike Eupho right on Crunchyroll! #NotAnAd #UnlessCrunchyrollWantsToSponsorMe #ThatWouldBeGreatBTW

Hibike has always had a special place in my heart, because, well, I played euphonium. And also it’s Kyoani. I love Kyoani, they also have a special place in my heart. I mean, do you see my URL right now? 

I just watched season 1, episode 1 and 2 again. I’m going to basically just hit highlight reel of scenes that really stuck out to me as super amazing now that I’ve watched the entire show and now that I’m watching it as someone who’s way older. 

So let’s start with episode 1. 

Right off the rip, I appreciate that the show doesn’t drop me with a bunch of exposition (man, maybe that means i’ve been watching too many isekai). We get a super dramatic scene of Kumiko and Reina’s middle school band winning dud gold. 

(Briefly, I want to emphasize here the inclusion of Kumiko’s nameless friend. You know, this one: 

Her reaction is important, it tells to the audience how a “normal” person would react to getting Dud Gold.)

They get dud gold. The show doesn’t explain what dud gold means, though, I suppose you could look it up. If you have ever been in a high school band, the concept should be pretty straightforward (for public school bands/orchestras/choirs here in Texas, it’d be like getting a 1 in Regional UIL, but not advancing to the state level). But it’s important to assume that the audience hasn’t been to band ever, so what gives? Well the show actually does explain it, it just does it way later: 

13 mins in. So the audience isn’t left to hang, but they don’t get “talked-down-to” by the show, which is a really common sin by anime. I mean, fair enough, a lot of anime have ridiculous plot lines: 

But it’s nice when a show doesn’t do it. 

Next, the scene introducing the Kitaju high school band. It’s at about 3:00. If you have a good ear or have any experience with music, you can probably hear how bad the band sounds. They’re not on beat, they’re out of tune, and then for emphasis there’s a woodwind that squeaks at 3:16—the cardinal sin of woodwind players. But again, the show needs to target the layman, so we get our first taste of “kumiko noises” to convey to the audience that, well, they suck. This is again emphasized later in the episode: 

And also, comedically in the scenes like this: 

Asuka: “Get her a form right now!” 

We’re doing our best here to avoid leaving behind the layperson, but without insulting the layperson’s intelligence by outright telling them “hey they suck.” 

Finally, I never realized how much interaction we get with Kumiko and a million minor characters in just this first episode. All the interactions are all about Kumiko joining bad too. Obviously we get Reina’s entry, with the slow-mo Kumiko noise, but she also gets asked to join by Midori Sapphire-chan multiple times, we get a Shuichi scene, and a nice flashback with her older sister. It’s cute, and really drives home that this is a show that is about Kumiko, but not by how she leads other people with her ideology. Instead, it is the other way around. This episode is a microcosm the entire series thus far: it’s a show about Kumiko’s story, but that story is about how other people push her to do things. A leaf in the wind. 

But with all that said and done, we do get to move to episode 2, which had 3 scenes that really struck me as brilliant. 

Let’s start with the president and the vice president. The scene is about 15:55 in episode 2, when the president replies to the new Sensei. The important part is 16:34 though, where the president hesitates and Asuka takes over. This is when we really start to see that Asuka is the more charismatic character, especially given her scenes earlier this episode. She knows what to do, she cares a bunch about the band, she’s fun to be with, but how come she’s not president huh? This is super important for the later arcs in season 2, and it’s amazing that they’re including this kind of characterization now, in episode 2 of season 1 of a show they don’t even know will get a season 2! 

This scene also does one other thing that may not be obvious, and that is it removes all guilt from Taki-sensei. Later on, you get a lot of characters kind of hating on Taki because of how hard he is on the band to improve and be ready for nationals. But it’s important because of a different later arc (Spoilers!) that he is absolved of all guilt, and this show does that by introducing the aim for nationals as the kid’s choice. Taki really emphasizes that too: 

(another super minor thing, there’s a scene transition at 18:45 that’s friggin brilliant, where they do a match cut, but don’t stop midori’s line until Kumiko screams in the new scene, so you don’t actually get time to dwell on the line that midori drops. This works much better in japanese where you can’t just read the subtitle, but hey.) 

Now then, the other two scenes I want to really talk about are about the character we get introduced to in this episode: 

The first is in an earlier scene, right after the instrument choosing scene. It starts at about 13:28, with Kumiko and Aoi walking home from school. What really struck me is two lines actually, right here. 

Kumiko: 

Aoi: 

Then, we get a Kumiko noise: 

And we’re back on the wide shot: 

This line does a few things. First of all, it’s a really great pun after following the entire Kazuki joke just a few minutes ago, you know, this part: 

But, by using this pun, it can also deliver to the audience Aoi’s entire arc. She doesn’t really see the tenor sax, and, by extension, the band, as something she’s willing to work with for the rest of her life. This storyline is something we’re going to keep coming back to with hibike eupho, even taking center stage in the spin off movie, Liz and the Blue Bird (big recs for that show, obviously). It’s a brilliant wordplay and a great use of a joke as an important plot point. 

But this last scene is what actually made me want to write this entire essay. And this scene is the 2nd-to-last scene in this episode, where Aoi and Kumiko talk about the vote. Time stamp is 18:47ish, right when Kumiko yells in the distance. 

This is another bit of symbolism I loved. The important part is at 19:07, where Kumiko pulls a leaf (with peas in it?) out of the ground and uses it to buzz: 

19:31 she takes out the peas: 

and 19:35, she buzzes: 

(gorgeous shot btw, I love KyoAni.) 

Aoi: 

Kumiko: 

Bam. Right there. That’s where the magic happens. In this moment, we, the audience, now associate the leaf with the wind ensemble. 

What’s so special about this? Well, nothing yet. Aoi then grabs a leaf too:

Aoi and Kumiko then talk about the voting process some more, why they voted like they did, etc. for around, a minute or two, though, from the scene montage, it’s clear it’s a bit longer than that. We even get a nice shot of them buzzing together: 

Now here’s the 2nd part to the magic trick, how the conversation ends. 20:54 time stamp btw. 

Alright sounds good, she’s still holding the leaf btw, which might be a super minor thing to a lot of people (it was to me), until... 

Preparing to toss and... 

There’s a freaking close up. 

Why is there a close up? We could have animated this on twos just like the rest of this chibi scene, saved on some budget, could have sent the animators home early for this one. 

But the director called for a close up, because the leaf symbolizes the wind ensemble, and we need Aoi to really emphasize throwing it away due to her priorities (which she just talked about in the scene with Kumiko). 

Now that’s showing, not telling. .

Bottom line, watch Hibike Eupho. I’ll catch you guys next time. 

[xiggy-stardust]

I can’t please anyone.

None of my friends follow this tumblr so I’m gonna dump my tea in this harbor

“hahaha nobody follows ur dumblr, xig-” SHUT the FUCK UP, ME. I KNOW thats YOU.

okok so over winter break I went shopping for myself because I didn’t get anything for christmas. I was in hot topic (Fuck you, they have some cool shit) and they had a thing where it was “Buy one hoodie and get another for just 10 bucks” so NATURALLY I made the cashier hold my $70 Twenty One Pilots hoodie while I looked for something cheaper to pay in full so I wouldn’t have to pay 70 bucks for a hoodie. I found this really cool Kingdom Hearts jacket for just 40 bucks.

One of my friends, let’s call them Wendy, LOVES KH to DEATH. I was becoming really good friends with her since I’ve only met her this school year (so I’ve known her since about august) and we became best friends really fast. We have more inside jokes than I can count, which I think is what really makes you best friends. Wendy and I have lunch together like every day after school and we sit and talk for hours about everything or sometimes nothing at all. The point is, we’re close.

I also have another friend, let’s call them Nina. Nina and I have been friends for longer than Wendy and I have been friends, since about sophomore year (and it’s senior year now). And Nina and Wendy have been friends since elementary school. So really, I’m the one late to the party. It was very clear very early on this year that Nina was getting jealous about how close Wendy and I have been getting despite us not knowing each other for very long. This reeked of petty high school drama, and me, being the only person in school not caught up in shit, refused to be dragged into something I had no intention of being a part of.

The thing about Nina though, is that she has hella insecurity issues and I’ve already sent her novels over text trying to convince her that she’s not a piece of shit. She thinks everybody hates her and she (very clearly) baits me and Wendy into pitying her. Every time I talk to her, it’s another thing she thinks everybody’s gonna hate her for. Every time. She never takes responsibility and uses those big puppy eyes to make me say that nothing is ever her fault just so she won’t go home and blow her brains out like I have nightmares of her doing. I’ve talked to her so much about the exact same topic matter that some days when she says “whatever I’m probably just annoying you” I kinda wanna say “yeah you are.” But I know for a fact she’ll go home and probably c*t her wr*sts or something. She never makes any efforts to improve herself. She wallows in her sadness and wants everyone to feel bad for her or wallow with her.

This is where Wendy is a breath of fresh air.

me, Nina, and Wendy are all relentlessly sad for mostly the same reasons, but they both have shitty parents whereas mine are. idek. Divorced but living together like they aren’t, it’s weird. I digress. We all deal with our sadness in different ways. I deal with mine by myself in my own time and only let it out in the form of ironic memes and self deprecating humor. You gotta really dig deep to get to me and I have to trust you a lot to let u know what’s really going on. But for me, you don’t get to know unless you ask. That’s how I avoid bringing down the people around me to awkward situations. Wendy acknowledges whats wrong with her and actively talks to me or other trusted friends to fix what’s wrong. She doesn’t want people to feel bad for her, she wants to be better and she doesn’t stew in her sadness because that’s bad for literally everyone.

Nina is the total opposite. We were just in the middle of UIL rehearsals today and WHILE I was highlighting and trying to memorize my lines, Nina grills me about the jacket I got Wendy for christmas when I didn’t get her anything. Wendy actually warned me she would ask so I gave her one of my printed photos earlier this morning. She said she felt left out, so naturally I lied and said I had it from the start, which I totally didn’t, and the only reason I didn’t give it to her before is because she was literally in another state stuck in a blizzard and when she came back, she was cut from the play we were in and we had to travel to perform the day she got back. So today was the only day I’ve actually seen her. So even if I DID get her something, she wouldn’t get it till today anyway. And I STILL got her something. She still tried to guilt trip me about how she felt “left out” and how she’s “forgotten” like I haven’t talked to her about it more times than I care to think about.

The thing is, Wendy is really easy to shop for. She likes KH, Overwatch, and cute anime things, and every store I shop at has a surplus of one of those things. I had a slight suspicion Nina would get jealous so I tried to find something for her,, but she has zero interests I can shop for. She likes Vinyl records, but no store in the nearest 100 miles sells vinyl. It’s not like she likes comic books or video games or stuffed animals or.. anything. I cannot shop for her. The original Idea was to go thrift shopping just the three of us, and I buy Nina anything she wants because I know she likes thrifted items and we’ve been wanting to go thrifting together for months. BUT Nina was out of the state and her parents wouldn’t tell her how long she’d be there so I couldn’t schedule anything when she got back. The blizzard she was stuck in would have fucked it up anyway but still. The idea is, it would have been impossible to get Nina what she wants. But I don’t think she sees that. She only saw that Wendy got a gift from me and she didn’t. Now might be a good time to point out that Wendy didn’t get anything for christmas because her family considers it a big waste of money (which it is, but Wendy has never experienced a single christmas in her life). So yeah naturally I’d want to get her something. Besides the jacket I got her, the only other thing Wendy got for christmas is a KH Funko pop from another friend. Thats it. So excuse me if I wanted to make this christmas a little bit more happy for her.

Besides the point, but just a side note, I didn’t get anything for christmas either. It’s not like I’m hard to shop for either, I like the same things Wendy likes (minus KH maybe) and I like flannels and beanies A LOT. And they’re stupid easy to find, especially in winter. But all I got was a heartfelt letter from another friend who is too sweet to be in this story. I got a letter and none of my other friends got me anything. Not Nina or Wendy. But I never not once complained about it while I saw all my friends give and give and give to other people. That’s why I went shopping for myself, so I couldn’t possibly want anything that anybody was giving except for love (cliche, barf, ik, whatever).

So yea it just kinda rubbed me the wrong way when Nina complained about not getting anything. EXcuse you. I should really be the one complaining, cuz I’m 40 bucks in the hole on a jacket I’ll never wear and Wendy’s only worn like once since I gave it to her. I didn’t get anything either, I actually lost here. Wendy’s got another jacket she’ll never wear, so that only seems like a plus to me and she didn’t get anybody anything, but only cuz she doesn’t have money and her parents won’t let her get a real job. And you haven’t gained or lost anything. If we really wanna be equal, let’s all get gifts for each other. Unless we all come out down and up 2 gifts, somebody’s got a right to complain, and if we look at who’s lost the most, it looks like it’s me. But I’m not going to because I don’t need a gift to validify my friendships. I gave to a friend who it looked like needed it the most out of pure goodwill. I don’t expect anything in return, and I think there’s a thing on the internet about how if you talk about how charitable you are, your charity is null and void, at least the intent of it is. But I don’t think that counts if the only people I’m talking about can’t read this. Maybe it does, but I gain and lose nothing anyway.

If I gave Nina something or Nina gave me something, Wendy wouldn’t care. If Nina gave Wendy something or Wendy gave Nina something, I wouldn’t care. So I really don’t see the big deal that I gave Wendy something. The only difference I see is that Nina is out of the loop, and she’s the only one who cares if she is.

Idk I could go on forever but I’d just regurgitate the point that Nina, you suck for trying to make me feel bad for doing a nice thing. Please. Fix yourself, because nobody else can.

[littlemisskookie]

Em, I am so sorry you had to go through that. I don't want to make it seem like I am asking for attention, I just want people to know it happens everywhere. But I have a story. This happened back in 8th grade and we had a UIL meet which our school was hosting and I was helping at with some friends. So my best friend and I were running from the library to the gym posting scores when I got tired and decided to hang out in the theatre arts room. My friend, a girl, and a high school guy joined -🍍

Anonymous said:My friend got a call that her mom was already picking her up and left me and this guy who 1) was in high school 2) i had just met 3) was about 6ft while i was 5ft. So I was just sitting on the table while he was sitting in a chair when he gets up and walks over to me and stands in front of me. And then he kissed me and I'm shocked and this is where I hate myself because I should have done something instead of just asking why he did it. He just replied with "you didn't say no" -🍍

Anonymous said:And he kissed me again so I kind of back away and said the first thing that came to mind which was "let's go to the library" there were people there and if I stayed here longer, who knows what might happen. He said no and after I got off the table and tried to leave, he picked me up and kissed me as I tried to get down. Then he squeezed my ass and I slapped him and tried to run but he just hugged me and tried to kiss me again but I kept my head down. -🍍

Anonymous said:It wasn't until we heard a teacher that he let go and I walked out of the room. I don't know what might have happened if he didn't let me go. I walked to the library and kept signaling my best friend something was wrong and he texted me saying to meet him in the bathroom where I told him everything after breaking down crying. A couple of other friends found out and helped keep him away. I never told anyone else until now but I want others to know it happens and you can share your story. -🍍

That’s disgusting and I’m so sorry you had to go through something like that, especially at such a young age. I hope you’re ok now and I sincerely hope he doesn’t repeat those actions and is brought to justice. Because that behavior is simply intolerable.

[condensed-theorem-shop]

Here, let me take a break from ranting about cults to talk about something nice and uncontroversial (ha): homeschooling.

And by “talk about homeschooling,” I mean “copy/paste a comment from Ozy’s blog, because it got sufficiently long to be maybe worth sharing on my own.”

I was homeschooled much like this! And so have Many Thoughts. Apologies for the absurdly long comment.

(Well, my parents would never describe themselves as “unschoolers” in a million years — they’d say “classical/eclectic” if asked — but “classic homeschoolers who pay serious attention to the child’s interests” and “unschoolers who pay serious attention to the three R’s” probably converge at some point.)

I had a very very positive experience with homeschooling overall (and am happy to expound on it at length; my parents are very Into educational theory, and included me in the discussions as I got older).

(Braggy data on success thereof, which I blush to include, but: I ended up graduating at 16, attending a college in the top 20 in my field, and recently getting accepted to a good grad school with tuition waiver, TA position, and fellowship. On the non-math side, I double-majored in honors liberal arts, and was nationally competitive in fencing in high school. My 13-year-old sister is auditing her first college class (discrete math), regularly runs local 5- and 10Ks and places top in her age group, and wants to be a surgeon. The 10-year-old is on Suzuki book 3 for cello, and one of the top students in the local string project. All of us were reading at two, reading chapter books at three, and won various impressive things in lots of math competitions as well as the private-school-equivalent-of-UIL.)

So from that experience, some thoughts:

(1) The sleep thing is so so so true. Easily the #1 thing my non-homeschooled friends were jealous of. (#2 was not having to take the state’s standardized tests.) Possibly this is outdated science, but my understanding is that teenagers are actually just biologically wired to go to bed later and sleep in later than adults.

(2) Exercise, yes! Homeschooling and exercise and free-range kids all fit very nicely together. I did lots of biking and swimming and hiking and roller-blading and just running about wildly; it definitely contributed that by the time I was in double digits I was allowed to ride my bike anywhere within about a ten-block radius (the boundaries were defined by the nearest streets busy enough to be dangerous), so I got lots of exercise just getting around.

(3) Something of a follow-up on that last: if your kids are going to be running around unsupervised outdoors during school hours, you should probably make sure you’re clear on the local homeschooling laws, and then coach them on how to talk to a policeman. My parents did that for me, which was good, because it did in fact happen a few times that a policeman stopped me and asked some very pointed questions about whether I was playing hooky.

My instructions were: be polite; say “yes, officer, no, officer”; explain that I was homeschooled, and it was my recess [we didn’t have anything that formal, but easier to say that than explain your entire homeschooling philosophy]; if they insisted on taking me to the station, comply and then ask for my parents until they were provided.

The last stage of that never in fact came into play; the policemen always went “oh, okay. My sister homeschools! Do you like it?” and let me go (once with instructions to go get a better lock for my bike).

(4) I absolutely approve of homeschooling as “hey, let’s test out our kooky educational theories!” That’s exactly what my parents did. (My dad’s pet theory is that algebra should be introduced alongside arithmetic, and slopes alongside fractions. All three of us turned out super-math-y. Just saying…)

(5) One of the best things about homeschooling is a 1:1 (or close to it, if you have multiple kids) student:teacher ratio. Take full advantage of this.

(6) Yes, the math thing! A depressing number of homeschooled kids end up with poor math skills. It doesn’t help that it’s usually the mom homeschooling, and women seem to have even more of a tendency to go “oh, I can’t do math, it’s scary” than men. (Not claiming that women are inherently worse at math or anything; this seems to be pretty clearly a response to cultural pressure.)

Hiring grad students is a good idea; they’re interested in the subject, have some teaching experience, are usually lonely for their own families/younger siblings, and will work for dirt cheap. My family did a lot of that for me.

Beware of Khan Academy and various other “teach your kid math for you” services; these tend to prey on this phenomenon. Parents will pay ridiculous amounts of money for canned math curricula, because they’re so nervous about their own abilities; and while I know a lot of public-schooled people who used Khan Academy on their own after school and liked it, it really doesn’t substitute for an actual math teacher, especially for kids who aren’t inherently super-math-gifted. If you want a math curriculum, consider looking into Art of Problem Solving.

(7) A common unschooling failure method is: the kid spends twelve hours a day playing minecraft, the parent decides this is Probably Educational He’s Learning About Architecture Or Something, at eighteen he still can’t read or multiply. (My parents tend to refer to this as “nonschooling.”)

Making the three R’s less optional will probably help with that. Also, it seems like there’s something to be said for helping kids do things that they first-level don’t want to do but second-level do want to do. Plenty of adults use things like leechblock, or accountability to a friend, to serve the same function; a kid can’t reasonably be expected to have mastered using those tools, so a parent reminding them to turn off the computer and go work on their exhaustively detailed pyramid replica they love seems like a good thing.

C. S. Lewis actually brings something like this up in the Screwtape Letters (as part of an analogy for spiritual growth, but whatever). He points out that reading children’s versions of Greek myths is fun, and learning the first handful of Greek words is fun; and that being able to read Hesiod in the original is also fun; but in between, there’s a lot of drudgery with memorizing paradigms and struggling through translations. Even a kid who’s really passionate about Greek may need to be nagged a bit on a day-to-day basis to go review their verb tenses; it seems hard on a twelve-year-old to require them to have the intrinsic motivation to do that without any authority figure nudging them.

In my family, what this looked like on the day-to-day level was: my parents would tell me things like “no, go do your translations before you play” or “don’t forget you need to spend 30 minutes working on chemistry at some point this evening.” (Not very unschool-y, I admit.) But they’d be flexible about it, if I’d gotten really into researching the mathematics of swarming behavior or something.

And if some subject was consistently a cause of misery for me — not just “ugh, organic compounds, whyyy” but genuine “I hate this, it’s boring, I don’t want to do it,” every time over a period of days or weeks — they’d discuss with me whether I genuinely wanted to quit the subject. (It was really really clear that this was actually an option, and I wouldn’t be in trouble for choosing it or anything, which was crucial.)

I nearly always, given some space to think about it, decided that I wanted to keep working on the subject. Sometimes we’d decide to put it on the back burner for a while and come back to it next semester, or to skip to a different part of the subject and come back to that one another time, or try a different textbook, or find a tutor. Occasionally I did decide I was done with the subject, and they respected that.

I think this worked out really well. The only two subjects I can think of that I decided to totally quit were piano and Latin, and in retrospect both were absolutely the right call. Piano I quit after a year, and I recall absolutely none of it; I’m profoundly unmusical and was a disaster at it and hated it, and don’t wish in the least that I’d kept trying. Latin I quit after eight years and an audited university class; my parents and I had a serious discussion, and agreed that while I was glad to have studied Latin I wasn’t interested in pursuing it at a higher level, and that “took a class on the Aeneid in Latin” would be a good milestone for having mastered it to a casual-reading-of-Latin-texts level, and so I did that and then quit. I’m a little rusty, now, but given a dictionary and grammar can still read Latin texts fairly comfortably.

(8) I think you’re overestimating the difficulty of learning a foreign language. I had a friend growing up who was German/English bilingual, as was his mother; my mom tutored him in literature in exchange for his mother spending an hour or so a week talking with me in German. Afterwards my friend and I would hang out, and were encouraged to talk in German.

In addition, I did Rosetta Stone (pricey but effective, immersion-based) and later the Foreign Service Insitute’s course (free online if you can find it, or cheap to buy; immersion-based; meant for diplomats who are told ‘okay, you’re going to Germany in a month, be ready.’) (I also did another online course at one point, but it wasn’t very good.)

By the time I graduated high school, I was able to (with reference to a dictionary) read genuine literature in German; Goethe and Rilke were my favorites. My accent was apparently very good; I was asked more than once if my parents were native speakers (e.g. by the instructor in the not-so-good online course). I got a 4 on the German language AP test, which exempted me from all foreign language requirements in college (which I’m very grateful for; college language classes are super-intensive).

And — in some sense, the most important — when I spent a semester abroad, I was comfortably able to get around Vienna for a week or so speaking to people in German. (It helped in Hungary, too; Hungarian is hard and I learned very little, but nearly everyone spoke either English or German.)

I think key elements in that were: I started early (I was seven when I met my friend); I spent a good amount of time with a native speaker; and everything I did was immersion-based. The not-so-good course I took wasn’t mostly immersion-based, and I actually found that very frustrating, because I had to keep switching languages in my head; eventually I convinced the teacher to just talk to me in German all the time, which everyone else found very impressive but made it much easier for me.

(9) What you’ve said about the social issues all sounds right. I think the value of just escaping the social pressures of middle school isn’t to be underestimated; I know a surprising number of people whose parents homeschooled them /just for middle school/.

I got to spend my early teens dressing however I felt like (frequently ridiculously), wearing no makeup, hanging out with boys as friends, and not being at all self-conscious about any of it. My friends in public school were constantly worried about their appearance and their weight — and I don’t mean this as “I was a better person than them” or anything like that, I mean that other girls made nasty remarks to them constantly, and I escaped that. I’m very glad to see my sisters getting the same benefit.

(10) Also: bullying. Or, rather, not. The vast majority of my friends who were in public school were bullied, at least at some point; many of them still deal with ongoing trauma from that.

I encountered bullies — twice, total. The first time was in elementary school, in a homeschool group, and my mom promptly picked up on it and got the bully kicked out — she was able to both notice and do something about it, neither of which parents of kids in school can usually do. The second time was in middle school, in my fencing club; I took it to the instructor promptly, because I had spent my whole life with authority figures who listened to me and trusted me and acted productively on that. She had a very stern talk with the much older teenager in question, and he left me alone from then on.

Honestly, I’m pretty sure the bullying issue alone justifies homeschooling.

[dysfunctionalspirit]

Things I heard durning my school's spring choir concert last week

- "It's like he's on his period" about choir director - [in a super whiny voice obviously not serious] "I injured myself" - [freshmen girls screaming for no reason next door] "it's like someone is giving birth. Very inaccurate but that's how it sounds like" "I was just gonna say someone was being murdered" - "Did you think I came to hug you just because I wanted to cut in line?" "Yes. You are a teenager and your appetite is big" - [someone imitating a bird squawk?] "who let the freshmen eat sugar" - "I'm trying to change in peace yo" - [as if we were best friends] "do you have makeup?" - "Finally time to get rid of these ugly ass shoes" - "I hate choir but… I don't wanna quit" - [singing] "May t-" [burps loudly] "sorry" [keeps singing] - What I understood "I'm gonna play so much weed" what she meant "I'm gonna play so much Wii" - "She hates me" "I thought she hated everyone" "she does" "me too" - About a song we've been learning since January "I haven't even memorized that song" - about a song we sang for UIL "I hate that song. It's the worst song in the history of worst songs" - "Ugh I ate so much food that I'm probably going to have a child now" "like a food baby?" "Babies. I'm having twins. [points to one side] this is [super long and complicated name I didn't catch] and [points to other side]Junior" - sometime later "I think my food twin babies are about to be born" "Oh no" "oh wait never mind false alarm" - [After finishing makeup, Looks at me directly in the eyes] "done. After like five hours" - [Dramatic gasp] "I win??? I never win!!" - "I like being in mixed choir bc the boys make it so funny and I just sit there" - "Aw man I spit on myself" - "That wasn't even my part and I know it" - "We sounded like dolphins in that part" - "I don't understand you" "it's in Latin that's why" *talking about a song* - "You missed the guys dancing" "what" "like square dancing" - [obviously stressed and very angry] "somebody help me pass out these programs before I kill someone because Mr. (Choir director) is really pissing me off" "I'll help" "with the programs or the murder?" "the programs I wanna say hi to my mom"

[igotthegayonme]

Everyone is different. Let's remember that.

After reading some other’s experiences with the American school system, I decided that I have some things to say, as a dyslexic student, as a multimedia artist, and as a musician.

I have had some great experiences in my school district with some of my teachers. They understand that I have anxiety and depression and that it can effect my performance in class. But, there’s always the teachers who don’t.

My 5th grade Social Studies teacher shamed me for not getting commended on the STARR test because I marked questions down the wrong way. Example, I would answer it correctly in the booklet(answer B) but on the bubblesheet, I would put a different answer (answer d). I did this multiple times because of my dyslexia.

My 6th grade math teacher didn’t understand that I had a legitimate case of dyslexia in math. I would switch numbers around- the answer would be 15 and I would put down 51 as the answer instead. And despite my mom emailing over and over again to check with me if that was the case, she never believed it because “it didn’t exist when she was a kid”.

My 8th grade Social Studies teacher tried to fail me because he found out that I’m apart of LGBT.

My 9th grade Pre-AP English teacher gave me 50s on every major projects because I exceeded the expectation. But as soon as I turn in a project that I put the least effort in, I got a 92. She also called me out in front of all of her classes with said project and said that “anyone could do this piece of work”

The same teacher congratulated my older sister for getting into Nationals with her FCCLA project and then told me to be more like her [my older sister].

My 9th grade Speech teacher made fun of me in front of the class because I was too opinionated and made everyone upset.

My 10th grade Beginning Music Theory teacher hated how I grasped the concepts so well.

My 10th grade ART TEACHER told me that I’m too advanced to be in Art 1 and that I should dial it down because I’m making other students feel like crap about their art.

The same teacher I have this year, my 11th grade Sculpture teacher, discriminated a couple pieces of my girlfriend's work and validated it by saying “I’m an educator. I can do that.”

My 7 year old brother moved to Michigan with my mom. Both my sister and I have dyslexia. My brother is showing signs of dyslexia but the Michigan school system doesn’t have learning disability services. So, my brother might be held back because he thinks differently and struggles more.

And my 1 year old brother will have to deal with that too.

Those are a couple of bad experience that have made me hide who I am as a student and an artist in the classroom.

But, on another hand, there are some good experiences.

My 5th grade Science teacher congratulated me for almost getting commended on STARR.

My 7th grade English teacher happily told me that I had a great mind and that I shouldn’t hold back because she loved the way I wrote and thought. And as she handed out failing grades on major assignments, she would smile every time she handed me a 100.

My 7th and 8th grade math teacher always took my dyslexia into consideration when it came to grading tests and always encouraged me.

My 6th and 7th grade Choir teacher continuously pulled me out of the choir to show everyone what it would be like without me. She encouraged me to go to UIL Solo Contest where I got a 1 (the highest rating a singer can get). She encouraged me to go into Varsity choir. And although I didn’t go in middle school, I took her encouragement and am now in the highest level high school choir.

My 8th grade English teacher always believed in me and loved every piece of work I turned in because she loved to see a unique mind.

My 10th grade World History teacher always loved having me in class and wasn’t afraid to tell the class.

My 11th grade AP US History teacher loves the way I think about history and how I connect one event to another.

My high school choir and AP Music Theory teacher pulled me into her office and asked me what I wanted to do after high school. When I told her that I was debating between Performer, Sound engineer, or educator, she said “I think you would love being a choir teacher. Plus, we need more people like you. Kids these days need someone to look up to and they can definitely look up to you. I look up to you. You’re a lesbian, dyslexic musician and that’s amazing. I know some people with dyslexia that really love music but can’t read it. You never cease to amaze me. Everytime a student says they can’t do something, I’ll tell them your story.”

I promise, the people who hold you up in school are the people you should focus on. There will always be a critic. The American school system sucks, but there are some teachers that are there because they want to make an impact. Those are the amazing educators that challenge the system.

Those are the educators that are going to change the school system.

[lovelytable]

1-90 for make me admit stuff ask

1: would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

well i mean considering it was a group chat full of my str8 friendos i would have to say hard no

2: you talked to an ex today, correct?

technically but it’s complicated

3: have you taken someones virginity?

VIRGINITY IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT but also no

4: is trust a big issue for you?

not really. i’m actually a little too trusting. 

5: did you hang out with the person you like recently?

yes

6: what are you excited for?

spring break is in 20 days and i’m going to spain with my spanish class so the hype is real

7: what happened tonight?

i’m actually answering this in the morning but last night i went for a walk with my dog and my friend and we adventured all the way from her house to target and back and we made some nice friends and screamed into the void to tell it to stop playing country music and all in all it was a good evening.

8: do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

no. let them live. just please don’t vomit on me and also be safe.

9: is confidence cute?

ehhhhh i don’t really like this question. like i like confident people but that’s just because they’re healthy and happy with themselves and that’s admirable and beautiful but “cute” isn’t really the right word.

10: what is the last beverage you had?

water

11: how many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

GENDER IS A FLUID SPECTRUM AND THERE IS NO “OPPOSITE SEX” but also 5 off the top of my head. 6 if we’re counting guy fieri.

12: do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

i don’t own any jeans that aren’t skinny.

13: what are you gonna do saturday night?

next saturday is my birthday and i really don’t know what i’m doing. probably hang out with my friends. make some s’mores. maybe see a movie (because i’ll be 17 and so r rated movies are an option and yea).

14: what are you going to spend money on next?

candy and flowers for my friends. only one of them has a bf and she’s not doing valentine’s day with him so they’re all getting presents from me. i love.

15: are you going out with the last person you kissed?

no

16: do you think you’ll change in the next three months?

of course. next month i’m going to spain without my family and by may i’ll have taken my ap exams and i’ll also have been in a play and god i really hope between all that i grow up/glow up a lil.

17: who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

my friend who i went for a walk with last night. she was one of the first three people i came out to (i did it via text bc i’m a fucking loser) and out of all my friends she’s the one who’s the most honest with me so i like to return the favor.

18: the last time you felt broken?

february 10

19: have you had sex today?

no

20: are you starting to realize anything?

yessSSSSSSSSS AND IT’S FREAKING ME OUT

21: are you in a good mood?

i’m too stressed to be in a good mood.

22: would you ever want to swim with sharks?

not really. like don’t get me wrong i live for adrenaline rushes but i don’t really like swimming in salt water. it burns. also swimming with sharks is problematic. but anyway.

23: are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

nope. he’s got brown and mine are blue. i’m a spitting image of my mom though.

24: what do you want right this second?

a magical machine to do all my homework for me

25: what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

good for them but also BUDDY BOI WYD

26: is your current hair color your natural hair color?

yea. i did some colorful streaks last week for a project but by now i’m pretty sure they’ve washed out.

27: would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

no. that’s the most important thing imho.

28: what was the last thing that made you laugh?

my own awkwardness

29: do you really, truly miss someone right now?

miss isn’t the right word. i need to talk to some people but i’m not filled with a bottomless pit of longing or some shit.

30: does everyone deserve a second chance?

most people do but definitely not everyone.

31: honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

oh god no. he’s in the aforementioned 5/6 people.

32: does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

hard maybe. i think so??? but i’m a mess.

33: are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

no. i mean i haven’t had soda in forever and i usually choose water over soda just because health and also bubbles in my stomach are not the best feeling but i still like it.

34: listening to?

just got done listening to in the heights for the billionth time

35: do you ever write in pencil anymore?

every day

36: do you know where the last person you kissed is?

n/a

37: do you believe in love at first sight?

no. i promise i’m not some cynical angsty teen but i just don’t think that’s possible.

38: who did you last call?

ummm i never make actual phone calls they kind of stress me out but it was probably my mom or dad

39: who was the last person you danced with?

my friends

40: why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

n/a LET ME LIVE

41: when was the last time you ate a cupcake?

thursday? i think? i ate a muffin this morning tho

42: did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

not yet but they just came back from a run and that’s a lil gross

43: ever embarrass yourself in front of your crush?

sweaty my life is an embarrassment

44: do you tan in the nude?

i used to but i burn really easily and now i’m more about the soft, unwrinkled skin life anyway

45: (woOAAHHHHH WE’RE HALFWAY THERE) if you could, would you take back your last kiss?

N/A

46: did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

no

47: who was the last person to call you?

i think it was my grandpa

48: do you sing in the shower?

i perform

49: do you dance in the car?

i. perform.

50: ever used a bow and arrow?

actually yea in 5th grade i went to this cool camp thing and we did archery

51: last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

a couple weeks ago we had school pictures with the clubs we’re in

52: do you think musicals are cheesy?

some definitely are but they’re so good

53: is christmas stressful?

certain aspects of it are but in the end it’s two weeks off of school so i can’t complain.

54: ever eat a pierogi?

ever eat a what now

55: favorite type of fruit pie?

does key lime count

56: occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

i remember when i was really little and didn’t understand how business worked i really wanted to work at sonic so i could wear roller skates and bring back the pancake on a stick. if that didn’t pan out my backup plan was being a dinosaur.

57: do you believe in ghosts?

sure

58: ever have a deja vu feeling?

i’m living a deja vu feeling right now sis

59: take a vitamin daily?

i used to. i need to get back on that.

60: wear slippers?

no. i have perpetually cold feet but i refuse. fuzzy socks are where it’s at.

61: wear a bath robe?

eh sometimes

62: what do you wear to bed?

usually an old t shirt but it depends on how hot/cold im feeling

63: first concert?

i’m lame i’m sorry

64: wal-mart, target, or kmart?

target obv

65: nike or adidas?

nike only because adidas sports bras ain’t shit

66: cheetos or fritos?

cheetos

67: peanuts or sunflower seeds?

peanuts (although sunflower seeds are very aesthetic as far as snacks go)

68: favorite taylor swift song?

my second favorite song i ever had was love story

69: (aw yisss) ever take dance lessons?

i used to when i was really little. that lasted 2 ish years and then i did gymnastics for like 8 years.

70: is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

i don’t picture a future spouse

71: can you curl your tongue?

NO AND EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY CAN DO THE FOUR LEAF CLOVER THING AND ALL SORTS OF WEIRD SHIT AND I CAN’T EVEN WINK AND MY FACE MUSCLES IN GENERAL ARE WOEFULLY INADEQUATE

72: ever won a spelling bee?

YES.

the day is february 18, 2011. my birthday. i stand before my elementary school along with the other nerds who participated in uil academics. they begin to announce the winners for the district-wide spelling competition. 7th place. 3rd place. “and corbell elementary is proud to present the first place medal to...” i look around. all my classmates have already taken a seat upon collecting their medals. i am alone on stage. i grin with the realization. “SUZI”. the crowd goes wild. my parents are cheering. obama is there.

73: have you ever cried because you were so happy?

all the tim

74: what is your favorite book?

WE ARE THE ANTS BY SHAUN DAVID HUTCHINSON OH MY GOD EVERYBODY NEEDS TO READ IT ASAP

75: do you study better with or without music?

with

76: regularly burn incense?

no but i have a few candles in my room

77: ever been in love?

no (?)

78: who would you like to see in concert?

hank green and the perfect strangers

79: what was the last concert you saw?

NNNNN/AAAAA LEAVE ME ALONE

80: hot tea or cold tea?

both

81: tea or coffee?

both.

82: favorite type of cookie?

chocolate chip

83: can you swim well?

i mean i haven’t drowned yet

84: can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

yes but not for very long

85: are you patient?

god no

86: dj or band at a wedding?

dj

87: ever won a contest?

actually yea i won a book giveaway last summer on here but i never claimed it

88: ever have plastic surgery?

i haven’t yet but i probably will. i don’t have self esteem issues or anything but i just want to.

89: which are better black or green olives?

ew neither

90: opinions on sex before marriage?

live your life just pls be careful

BONUS (because there’s only 2 more anyway)

91: best room for a fireplace?

living room

92: do you want to get married?

not really. the only reason i ever would would be out of spite but in that case it would probably just be eloping or something bc mi familia would not contribute.

[glossiigeminii]

Is it working out?

I’ve been kind of stressed lately. i don’t know, everything just seems out of place. I haven’t been working a lot due to my UIL activities in school. I like working though. Me and Justin have been having heavy problems as of late. I can’t seem to make it work out with him. I have tried everything, we have talked, fucked, tried new things. Nothing seems to be changing. We have this “brand new start” thing going and it worked for two days. Yesterday we did a few old habits. Today I got mad at him because he slept in my living room after I rested from working @8 in the morning. He had been sleeping since he dropped me off & as soon as he got to my house. I just wanted to spend time with him but he would have just rather slept. He got really angry with me when I told him to go home to sleep instead of just being in my house and sleeping. He left with no hesitation. I cried on his shoulder last night and everything. Telling him how unhappy I was that we truly couldn’t get things to work. He promised he was trying to change just like me but yet today happened. I couldn’t tell you what is gonna happen from here on out. All i know is that, going to work keeps me at ease. one of my co-workers, let’s name him Tanner. Tanner and I are around the same age group. I’m 17, he’s 19. We never realized we went to the same school. Let alone knew each other. But we knew each others friends. Crazy. Anyways, we have become really really close and I won’t lie, we do flirt a lot and get touchy as in just in each other’s personal space and what not. He let me borrow his hoodie all day at work because I’ve been annoying asking him to let me have it. He kept calling me “baby” and “babygirl” today. But I like being with him, he makes me feel a different type of way. Which we also plan on going to the same college and plan on quitting around the same time, to go to school that is. I just can’t make up my mind on if I need to stay with Justin after we graduate because that’s the plan, or be happy and try something with Tanner. I’ll get back to you on that.

[irishgypsynyxie]

The story that I am currently working on. Please feel free to leave a comment

Phaelan sits in the darkness of the corner of the local bar with his head bent staring in to the bottom of his glass of whiskey.  It has been one of those days where his solitude was too much to bare. He sits in the corner of the bar by himself but not quite alone. The noise of the other patrons surrounds him in a blanket of noise that makes him feel a little less lonely.  He hears the bartender greets someone. Her scent reaches him as she walks behind the bar to place her stuff in one of the cubby holes. Phaelan looks up to see the origin of the scent that has pulled him from his thoughts.  Kateri smiles at Rys as she stands behind the bar with him and ties her bar towel to her belt loop. Kateri is five foot four inches with dark red hair that makes her hazel eyes stand out. Phaelan gets a good whiff of her as she walks by him to take an order from across the bar. He watches as she walks across the bar and greets every patron she passes. Phaelan can see that everyone she talks with smiles and becomes happy. Kateri finally reaches the table and gets the order on her way back to bar; she spots two bikers fighting on the other side of the bar. She changes her direction and heads straight for the two men seeing this Phaelan tensed and watches her closely ready to cross to her side should things get too rough. Kateri reaches the men and places a hand on both of their shoulders and the men stop fighting and look at her. She calmly says “boys you both know that Feydrea doesn’t like fighting in here. Are you two trying to get her to ban both of your MC’s?”  Both men look at her with shame on their faces then turn and shake hands. Smiling to herself; Kateri heads to the bar puts the order from her table in and tells Rys to two pitchers of beer to the bikers that where fighting with a message of “share some beers not fists.” Phaelan relaxes and looks at her with wonder. As she walks off with her order Rys notices Phaelan watching her and walks over and refreshes his drink and inquires as to why he is watching her. Phaelan looks Rys in the eyes and says “she intrigues me.”  Rys nods and says “I can understand that I have known her for five years know and still don’t understand how she does then things she does.”  Phaelan smiles at Rys with a knowing look on his face and takes a deep breath and gets the scent of Kateri as well as something new. The new scent puts him on alert and he took another deep breath and gets a better whiff of the new scent and realizes that new scent is coming from Rys. Phaelan went through the scents in his memory and realizes that the scent coming from Rys is that of a demon.  Phaelan tenses up and watches Rys as he interacts with Kateri and the others in the bar. Phealan knows that most demons only want to use the people around them not befriend them. He watches the way that Rys interacts with Kateri and the way he makes her laugh. Phealan doesn’t like how happy the demon makes Kateri that is in his mind his job. As Kateri makes her way around the bar getting orders and getting them back and forth to the bar as normal she has the feeling of eyes on her eyes that make her uncomfortable. In the corner where the bikers are sitting, she hears more loud yelling she heads towards them again to try and settle them down again. As she makes her way over towards the bikers, she hears more yelling on the other side of the bar. She looks to Rys and then looks at the way that the bar is starting to have mini fights and arguments through out it. Rys stares at her and then looks over at Phealan the man is very tense Rys walks over to him and asks “man you good or am I going to have to take you out back and let you wolf out so that you can calm down” Phealan looks at Rys and smiles “so the demon knows that there is a wolf in the house how nice,” chuckles saying “ I am good so far but I will let you know this something has me on edge and at first I thought it was the fact that there is a demon that I don’t know near me but, I have been watching and tasting the room there is something else going on. Rys tilts his head and closes his eyes and lets his demon sense feel the room. His eyes pop open suddenly he looks at Phealan and says, “watch her don’t let her out of your site something is trying to affect the bar with aggression and violence.” Phealan nods and goes into protective mode his eyes track every move that Kateri makes. Rys reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone and sends a text to Feydrea that says, “something up at the bar someone trying to provoke the patrons into violence get here quick.”  Kateri stands and in the center of the bar looking around she sees that everywhere she turns in the bar groups of people are yelling or about to fight. She turns to the band that is playing on the little stage of the bar and heads straight for them. When she reaches them, she jumps up on the stage and heads towards the drummer and calls the guitar player over to her. She whispers with them and they all nod their heads the guitar player walks over to the keyboard player and whispers in his ear and he nods and then starts playing a different tune then he was before, the guitar player and drummer follow suit. Kateri slowly walks to microphone that is set up for the lead singer who normally sings with the band and calmly takes a breath before she starts to sing,  “ A Righ na gile, A Righ na greine, A Righ na rinne, A Righ na reula, A Righ na cruinne, A Righ na speura, Is aluinn do ghnuis, A lub eibhinn. Da lub shioda, Shios rid’ leasraich, Mhinch, chraicich; Usgannan buidhe, Agus dolach, As gach sath dhiubh,”  The bar got deathly quiet as she continued to sing the same words in English for all to understand “ Thou King of the moon, Thou King of the sun, Thou king of the planets, Thou king of the stars, Thou King of the globe, Thou King of the sky, Oh! Lovely Thy countenance, Thou beauteous Beam. Two loops of silk, Down by thy limbs, Smooth-skinned; Yellow jewels, And a handful Out of every stock of them.” When she finished sings the last word she turned to the guitar player and winked at him and the tune they were playing changed again and she started singing again “Le teine ​​agus le uisge, eadar an Talamh agus an Adhar,Tha sinn nar seasamh mar chraobh na cruinne le freumhachadh domhainn, air a chrùnadh gu h-àrd. Thig sinn a-nis chun tobar, sùil agus beul na Talmhainn, Thig sinn a-nis chun tobar, agus airgead a bheir sinn,Thig sinn a-nis chun tobar, uisgeachan an ath-bhreith, Thig sinn a-nis chun tobar, còmhla bidh sinn a ’seinn:Cuiridh sinn teine, Beannaich na h-uile, agus le cron air gin ,Cuiridh sinn teine ​​ris, agus a ’tabhann dòrtadh, Cuiridh sinn teine, solas 'faisg air a' ghealach & a 'ghrian, Cuiridh sinn teine ​​na theine, èiridh ar spioradan. Cruinnich sinn aig a ’Chrann, freumh & crùn nan uile, Cruinnich sinn aig a ’chraoibh, gu h-ìosal & gu h-àrd, Cruinnich sinn aig a ’chraoibh, Còmhla nì sinn ar gairm, Cruinnich sinn aig a ’chraoibh, Ann an gliocas & ann an gaol.”  This time when she finished sing the last word of the song she just smiles at the people in the bar and slowly turns from the microphone and walks off the stage. While Kateri was singing not a single person noticed that Feydrea had arrived. Feydrea cleared her throat while standing right beside Rys which made the demon jump. Rys looks at her saying “sorry Fey didn’t see you come in.” This made Feydrea laugh, she places her hand on Rys’s shoulder saying “ I can see that neither did anyone else when such an enchanting voice is singing I can fully understand.”

[bloodstainedlingerie]

I entered the high school wearing a triumphant smile along with my knowingly-out-of-dress-code shorts, unhemmed and approximately four inches in length, displaying a hearty length of my springtime-of-life thighs, feeling as if I had already won the battle, my heart pounding with feelings of righteousness. Today is the day, I thought to myself. Today is the day I set us free. Upon being called out by my first period teacher to report to the principal’s office for my violation, my ebullience only expanded. The arguments and brave rhetoric I had planned in my head since I had first learned of the concept of a dress code were finally to be pronounced, spoken with eloquence, grace, and knowledge that God Himself, along with the entirety of the modern feminist movement, was on my side. It was what was right. Wearing a grungy t-shirt proudly provoking others to “RAISE BOYS AND GIRLS THE SAME WAY,” I was greeted by the office secretary, who read the words brandished on my chest, sneered and smiled halfheartedly, and announced to the principal, “We’ve got a rebel.” Despite that small blow to the heart, I continued to grin, and immediately looked the principal in the eye and told him, “I’d like to speak to you.” Caught off-guard, he agreed with a touch of surprise in his voice, only adding to my self-empowered, manic state. He led me to his office, holding the door open for me, for which I thanked him before plopping myself down on one of the rustic, leathery-smelling cowhide chairs across from his desk. He shut the door behind him, ushered himself to his throne, and asked what he could do for me. I had a bone to pick. I began my argument the way I had planned in the early hours of the night before. “Sir, I think it’s important for you to know that my parents didn’t raise me to be someone who blindly follows rules they disagree with,” I said, cool, calm, and collected. “I think that’s a wonderful quality to have been raised with, and I’d like to raise my own children to be the same way. It applies here, because I disagree with the dress code policy that states that showing my thighs is inappropriate and am having a hard time understanding why you would implicate such a policy. Would you please explain your reasoning?” With a smile that crumpled my spirit and confused me, he said, “And that’s just your problem, Genevieve. You’re always mindlessly rebelling against every rule you’re given. It gets you in trouble with your writing in the paper. It’s the reason you’re doing worse and worse in your UIL writing events. It’s what’s going to get you in trouble now – because you’re so stubborn, you can’t just act normal, which is a shame, because I think you’re one of the best students here.” It wasn’t what I expected. I expected at least a little respect for standing up for what was right. It was commonplace to applaud Martin Luther King Jr. for his standing up for what he believed in, right? And if people thought he and Gandhi, my idols, were heroes for their methods of civil disobedience, why should I be seen any differently, despite how small the battles I picked were. Nevertheless, I persisted. “Sir, I’d just like to respectfully try to understand what goes on in your head when you make such rules,” I argued, my collectivity gone, my heart overwhelmed with anxiety as I tried to keep my voice steady. “Because, from my perspective, it’s highly unreasonable and disrespectful towards women and people as a whole to try to control what they wear, especially when you’re trying to cover them up when it’s ninety-five degrees outside.” “Listen, for girls to wear shorts, especially bigger girls, it’s just not professional,” he retorted. How lame. “If the issue is professionality, then why do you allow students to wear sweatpants and leggings? Isn’t the bigger issue sexuality? And why try to dictate what people can and can’t wear based on their weight?” “Your legs can also cause envy from other females and distract boys from class, because I don’t know if you know this, but boys your age are raging with hormones, and…” “But it’s not my fault if people are jealous, and it’s sexist to assume that boys can’t function if they see…” “I don’t appreciate you calling me sexist, but rules are rules, and nobody wants to see a heavy girl’s thighs. That’s just reality, and…” “Well if I was in charge like you, and I decided I didn’t like seeing your face because I thought it was horrendous, could I just make you wear a burka?” “I don’t know what a burka has to do with anything, but I’m not changing any rules unless this somehow interferes with students’ educations. That’s what school is about, and until then...” “Aren’t you personally interfering with my education at this moment more than wearing shorts would have by making me sit in your office and possibly sending me home to change when I could have been in class learning right now?” I was in tears by this point. He gave me another dismissing laugh and a smile that reminded me, in the heat of it all, of someone who relished at the idea of being able to crumble someone’s entire life, or in my case, academic record, have they any nerve to stand up to him and tell him that what he is doing is wrong. I could see how in love he was with the fact that he was completely and utterly in control, like Ted Bundy with any of his petite, young brunette victims. It grossed me out, the way he could laugh or smile at all when I had tears in my eyes. I never respected him less. “I’m done, Genevieve,” he said. “I’m done. I’ve got better things to do. Go home and change. Try to get ahold of your parents.” And he left. A new falsehood in the world met my mind that day. It was like a brick to the face, or the painfully forceful streams of water shot at protestors for civil rights back in the 1960s. I’d always been a bit of an airhead, failing to believe or hear the warnings from my parents that evil existed and that some people really, really failed to practice what they preached. I could see my principal writing college essays on the importance of powerful figures like King and Gandhi and praising them for their effects on the world and human rights, and it made me even angrier. Here, he himself had been given the opportunity to just listen and use his power to become the hero to every girl at my high school, to do what I had felt to be so truly righteous in my heart by the heavens, and to make the world a better place, and he instead had laughed in my face. I saw that the case was always to be as Einstein described when he said, “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.” The road to justice and fighting those who refuse to give up their power to travel it with always be coarse and riddled with oppositions. There will be pain, heartbreak, and tears, but let it be known that one’s tears do not make one any weaker in his or her fight for a worthy cause. The fight itself, to stand against an opposition of millions, whether it be of people or of dollars or both, is what makes one enormously strong and beautiful in their ability to bloom in adversity. I am incredibly proud of my stance, incredibly proud to call myself a feminist, and incredibly proud to say that the fight is not over. Perhaps, one day, as with how my idols have changed the views of billions across the globe, you who are reading this and I will be able to bring the fight even further, and bring true peace and justice to the world. I truly hope you keep your head up and refuse to bow down. I really do.