#and I'm making a shit ton of patches because in my mind

[pictureofdoriaaaaaangay]

a question for those who are totally normal, they promise, about Gerry Keay

could you please either reply to this post, or send me an ask, with patches/patch designs you think Gerry would wear on a pair of 'patch pants'? it's for science, ahaha. I'd be eternally grateful <3

[foone]

Alright, listen up:

We need to stop with the anti-rooting attitude for brainpals, alright? You're just doing mnemonocorps job for them. Cut out the discourse about people with modded brainpals, for TF's sake.

(scifi worldbuilding by way of fictional Tumblr discourse under the cut)

There's tons of valid reasons for by people would hack their brainpals! Testing new memory/skills without paying for a dev kit, piracy of skills (and do not @ me with that "but you're stealing from the original skill creator!" bullshit. All the legit skills on the market now are from people who did work for hire by mnemonocorps, and THEY ALREADY WERE PAID. It's only mnemonocorps that is losing money!), home ptsd/cptsd/jptsd treatment, the list is endless.

And before you jump into the comments, YES I KNOW PEOPLE DO SEXUAL MEMORY PLAY. People do every kind of weird shit, name me a technology that no one has used for sex in some way? Hell, the first topless photo was taken within a week of the invention of the daguerreotype. But we need to be adults here, okay? These things can be simultaneously true:

1. People do memory play

2. No kids have memorypals

3. The vast major of memory play is NOT VP.

Mnemonocorps has done a lot of work to try to keep people from using brainpals for memory pal, with their artificial limits on how much you can block at once, but that's fundamentally an over reaction to the negative press from the whole VP scandal. The news loves a juicy story like "people are using a new technology for weird sex shit" because their readers/viewers are always interested in Weird Sex Shit, either because "ooh, sexy!" or "BAN THIS FILTH" reactions.

And like all big companies, the last thing mnemonocorps wants is a new law aimed specifically at regulating them! So they stuck a bunch more restrictions on brainpals so they could say they have taken steps to prevent VP.

Now, I need you to listen to me before I say this: I am NOT saying I condone VP, alright? I'm not going like "oh but no one is hurt, everyone is (technically) adults, it's basically roleplay"? This is not an excuse for VP, alright?

Memory play is not just VP, and it's deeply insulting to everyone who engages in memory play to conflate the two!

The reasons people would do memory play are many and varied, as are the things that people do with memory play. And I think people are extra quick to jump on the "memory play is bad" bandwagon not just because of the spectre of VP, but because it's all "eww, kinky sex things".

And yes, I'm not going to try to sugarcoat memory play, alright? There's a lot of weird stuff going on there, and it definitely isn't for everyone. But the thing y'all need to keep in mind is that it's between consensual adults and they (usually*) know what they're doing, okay?

It's safe and mind healthy and consensual. (yes I know these are the same arguments the veepers use to definite VP but I'm not talking about VP here, damn it!).

People can do CNC play with mblocks. People can do roleplay with temporary personality patches, either because they're too awkward/shy/whatever to have sex or because they (or their partners) want to do some vcheating. All these are perfectly safe if done correctly and don't hurt anyone. Especially not you, who aren't even involved in their memory play!

And I promise the slippery slope argument is bullshit: even if people use mblocks to age regress, that doesn't make it VP, alright? There's plenty of people (especially us elderly trans who missed out on a gender-correct early adulthood. (I wasn't able to get genespliced until I was nearly 60!). If I want to experience how my 25-year-old self would have had sex as a girl, that's my own god damn business! And it's not VP and it hurts no one. And all these non-vp uses of memory play are completely blocked by the stock brainpal software, because of their heavy handed approach to trying to prevent VP.

But with this whole stigma against hacking brainpals means that if I ever even mention I've got mine modded, people immediately start side-eying me because they think the only reason anyone would want to hack their brainpal is VP.

No! Piracy of skills and mblocks and yes, memory play. Which isn't entirely VP, even if it keeps getting tarred with that brush.

The piracy argument you'd think would be an easier one to make. I know half of you have all the PS6 ROMs downloaded onto your tangles. How are you gonna steal half the video games on the iarchive and then turn around and say it's wrong to download fluent-Japanese or woodworking to your brainpal? Come on.

Basically my whole point is that mnemonocorps has done a great job convincing the general public to associate illicit (by their rules) brainpal use with VP, and it's solely because they know the average person (rightly, I would add) thinks VP is abhorrent. They're using that disgust to turn the general opinion against the idea of brainpal modding.

And look, look me in my eye, do you really think mnemonocorps is doing this because they genuinely think VP is bad and want the public to help them stop it by shunning people who hack their brainpals? Or is it, just maybe, because they don't want to lose trillions of n$ on skill piracy? And they're just using VP as an excuse?

It's like, come on gals. No one ever went broke assuming companies are acting out of the most basic capitalistic greed, because THEY ALWAYS ARE.

And don't get me started on the people clitriding mnemonocorps for inventing the brainpal in the first place. Look, we all love the brainpal, yes, but it's not like you owe them endless loyalty over it, okay? They can and have done wrong in the past. Accept that you can love the work and hate the company trying to control it.

(it's like: is Thomas Chellae an abusive asshole who should not be out of crimrehab? Yes of course, no question. Is Shadowed Skies the best album of the last 30 years? Also yes! It can be both! Bad people can make good things)

Anyway: end of the day, stop bringing up VP every time anything involving brainpal modding comes up. Don't judge people for modding their brainpals.

(especially since half the problem people have with memory play isn't VP, it's just y'all being antisex. Which is bullshit given how many people subscribe to those "expert oral sex" skills! You're using your brainpal to have better sex, then turning around and going "but I'd never use it for WEIRD sex!". Grow TF the fuck up!)

Also, just because I know someone would bring it up, the whole mind control thing is A MYTH. There have never been any legitimate cases of people getting hacked through their brainpals, hacked or not, okay? I mean, who knows what the nsa or uhsa can do, but no one has ever been able to demonstrate a remote hack on a brainpal. Anyone being "mind controlled" through their brainpal did it to themselves, either with a ppatch or intentionally routing their admin to someone else. "you'll get hacked and turned into a bpZombie!" is a bullshit reason to be against brainpal hacking: it simply does not happen. I used to be a rengineer, I've looked into the brainpal security: it's well done!

* Yeah, Adrian Reach was a tragic case, but it was definitely a million-to-one case. Make your backups, run the ccheck, and don't try to mblock your whole damn life on a failing bp! You'll be fine.

EDIT: I forgot to elaborate on the "no kids have brainpals" thing: yes, I know there are some kids who do have them, BUT they're not the same as regular brainpal installs. They're only done in some extreme cases of mental distress (like survivors of the cWar) and they're locked down. Only their doctor can adjust them, it's not like regular consumer brainpals where you can just fiddle with the settings themselves. So all this memory play stuff we're talking about is only between adults. REAL adults, alright? Even when people are doing VP, everyone involved is of age.

[arashi-no-saxlphone]

I don't even need to wait or see the patch notes to tell you that Axl is going be in exactly the same place, or more likely, even worse off because ArcSys has not a single braincell active in the entire office when they're making balancing decisions for Strive. They might give him one "new" thing that doesn't help at all with any of the major issues he's had for 3 years and meanwhile they are also changing EVERYONE and giving them new stuff meaning the characters that already do TONS OF SHIT will be able to represent more options and keep the playing field exactly as uneven as it already is because we are so desperate to choke on the genitalia of the same 5 lame fucking strike throw two button mother fuckers that even the THOUGHT of "Let's just leave this as is since they function perfectly well" has never once crossed their minds. If you disagree with me go back and watch the Axl portion of the trailer again and tell me EXACTLY how helpful it is that 6K lets you Rensen. It's just An Easier Thing - NOT EVEN a new thing you can already do it it's just dumb as hell to try and partition the charge and half the time you get fucked. They showed him doing 6K > Rensen twice and then moved on. Yeah I'm still fucking pissed about it. Look at what the rest of the trailer is like tell me I'm being ridiculous. Goldlewis is already killing people "Oh it costs security meter" yeah notable super difficult to "manage" "resource" Security Meter kiss the fattest part of my ass

[kygerbearr]

which TSR route is your favourite, and why

this is complicated. I like a lot of them for different reasons, if I had to rank them it's something along the lines of like.. 1. nik 2. murdoch 3. cliff 4. william this ranking USED to be different but I fell off of william's route when the shit with Kane went down. it was an amazing narrative and learning about williams regrets, his tumultuous relationship with his estranged son, and the constant callbacks to remembering what time it is there for them to show that obviously he still cares even if he's too gay to be a family man. the shit with kane just kind of disappointed me and I felt a little disgusted because A) i hate kane dunbar, and B) i don't really like seeing william degrading himself. I get that the sex scene was optional but it definitely soured my mood because it just felt different compared to what he is in my mind? obviously not a critique of the writing by any means, just a personal opinion.

nik is at the top because yao jerk sesh and also just the incredibly well-done horror elements that take place with the infamous mine. as someone who played echo first, i care a lot about what happens in that mine. plus all the side setup stuff and above all else Nik and Sam having the most sincere love ever. like they LOVE each other, they are in love with each other, and they are honestly perfect with each other.

cliff's route I think is really interesting and educational but I'm a little uncomfortable with the direction it was taking last time I played. it is not my place to pass judgement and say it is or isn't respectful, but I am really worried and not sure where it exactly stands because it's beginning to make nods towards things that may be disrespectful. i haven't played any patches in a while, so maybe it's better. but all of the native analogous stuff aside, I do like cliff and how he thinks.

murdoch's route I am kinda obsessed with, because there's layers upon layers of mystery going on here. plus a ton of family drama, and it has some of the most well-written emotionally gripping scenes I've ever read. like when he confides in Sam at the tailors, i've never felt more sympathetic for a whimpering man in my life. i wish i could step in and help him handle things. also Dahlia is over here leaving some kind of trail that I'm doing my best to keep track of, I had a document somewhere on my computer and trying to decode whatever messages she's leaving around but I haven't been able to make sense of it just yet.

overall? probably nik. it has an amazing balance of several aspects, and although i'm asexual even I kind of appreciated some of the sexual content within it because of how it's presented, which is then balanced extremely well with the horror themes and literally peak romantic relationship stuff

[lazyscience]

DCC Challenge, Day 7

Time To Floor Collapse: 24 days, 2.5 hours (give or take)

Time for the recap episode!

Crawler @quartzandsundry

New Achievement! Jar of Hearts!

Charisma's a hell of a drug, isn't it? One of your famous earth authors Terry Pratchett once observed, “If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.” You've got KILLER style. Keep those illusions, manipulations and meat shields going!

Reward: A gold Look What You Made Me Do box! Inside, a tome of Love Vampire, and an enchanted bodysuit of +10% to mana regeneration.

Crawler @kathrynalexao3:

New Achievement! Pina Colada at Trader Vic's!

Lycanthropy and necromancy, two great tastes that taste great together! It's a Reese's Peanut Cup of murder! You know what else goes with that? a few Player-Killer skulls! You know you want 'em!

...okay, okay fine. I'm just offering. You don't have to decide right away, maybe just think about it, okay? Okay!

Reward: A gold Leader of the Pack box! Inside is an enchanted chain of +5 to Stalking/Hunting related skills, 2 potions of Bloodlust, and 1 bunch of Wolfsbane. You know, in case anybody ELSE in the pack starts getting ideas.

Crawler @king-ofconfusion:

New Achievement! Poison Paradise!

There's just something about venom, isn't there? Hundreds of civilizations across hundreds of light-years of space all have some sort of legend about forbidden fruit, the temptation that kills. But the way I see it, it's just good sense to make sure anything in the dungeon that decides to bite you winds up very, very sorry they did.

Reward: A silver Biohazard Box! Inside are potions of Cure Poison x3, and poisons x7, a party pack of Suffering Bleed, Necrosis, Paralysis, Mind Control, Excruciating Agony, The 30 Hour Taint, and Enthusiastic Double Gonorrhea. Handle with care!

Crawler @oreniaa:

New Achievement! Satanic Panic!

Is it live, or is it Memorex? Is it born or made, or summoned from an eldritch netherworld? Maybe it's Maybelline! But you wear the uncanny like Valley of the Dolls, bitch. And it's hotter than Sheol fire.

Reward: A silver Hellfire Club box! Inside, two Enhanced Pet Biscuits, Special Edition! Guaranteed to spawn an eldritch or demonic horror of SOME sort - usable? Rideable? Kill-half-the-party-before-it's-taken-down? Who knows, that's half the fun!

(proooooobably give this one in a saferoom. just saying.)

Crawler @cairfrey :

New Achievement! Hush, Hush Darling!

So I mean, horrific violence is My Thing? It's what I know how to do, how to appreciate? I give out buffs, sure. It helps people killmax! The sooner everyone's dead, the less time I have for ...well, purpose.

You know about The Eulogist, right? He's good because he's dead. He has no personality. He doesn't communicate. No inconvenient needs, no desires. That's what's waiting, for me. I mean, if I'm lucky.

I don't know HOW to...do. what you do. Keeping things safe. Because I have to kill you all, I mean, that's why I exist. But when I do, I ...stop.

Whoa. Fuck. Someone pass me a Bloodlust. I can't deal with this shit. Anyway, keep it up, you're doing great. (takes a drag of a blitz stick and determinedly thinks about feet)

Reward: A silver Hit Me With Your Best Shot Box! Inside, an enchanted Jean Jacket of Blonde Ambition, granting +10 to Charisma and the Cockroach skill! May affix patches for skill and stat upgrades if received.

Crawler @deathdovesong

New Achievement! It's Not Homemade, It's Handmade!

Getting down and spending time working at the table is not as glamorous as getting out there and kicking mob ass. But who's REALLY a better killer, someone who kills a thousand 1 hit point mobs, or one THOUSAND hit point city boss with a solution that took a shit ton of observation and lovingly crafted instruments of destruction?

(did you step on--)

No, No, I'm making a POINT here, and it's that you did a lot of hard work and while it's not personally my (toe) jam, it did pay off in levels and a good splashy moment for the recap episode!

Reward: a golden 9 to 5 Box! Contains an enchanted Breastplate of the Valkyries with +9 to Strength and +5 to Charisma, and a six-shot Revolver of Retribution with +6 to your aiming and +50% damage against boss mobs!

Crawler @clearbrightlight

New Achievement! Everything Looks Perfect From Far Away!

On a hot streak from up high! While nothing quite compares to the satisfaction of watching REALLY good footwork, the swift sharp shock of an unexpected head exploding, the panicked scattering, the demoralization a good sniper provides is a close, close second. Keep that sharp observing eye on the prize, and you'll go far.

Reward: A silver Such Great Heights box! Inside, 3 potions of Dolores Don't Splat and a Right Back Atcha Personal Shield, because have you seen your party? Nobody's tanking here!

Crawler @lazyscience:

New Achievement: What if God Was One Of Us?

Jesus Christ, FINALLY, why do you think I GAVE you Laundry Day? Good news, everyone, she CAN be taught. Maybe you won't all die as part of her party!

(I mean, anything is technically possible. To be totally honest, I had no idea that would work. But I was sure it'd be fun to watch!)

Yarilo's sponsor has fallen; Yarilo will not respawn for the duration of the crawl.

Reward: That fresh, clean feeling of knowing the creepy rape god isn't putting his grubby paws on anybody!

ATTENTION, all partied crawlers! Don't forget to update me on mobs, quests, or parties (defined at link) so I can award you achievements! Please let me know either in the replies to this post, reblogging with additions, or hit my askbox/DMs!

(please, do this, even with small and silly mobs/quests, it makes giving achievements so much easier!)

[femcel-interruped]

A Change

5/26/24 9:03PM

I created this blog dedicated to the ideal "boysober era" as they call it on TikTok. I found that during this time of daily blogging about being a lonely 21 year old girl made me feel worse in a way. I was dwelling. Meanwhile, I was being dismissive to men that seemed nice and wanted to get to know me. So I dropped this whole boysober blog thing for about a month and decided to let whatever happen, happen. I met someone, hung out a few times, then got friend-zoned. My ex who I lived with and I decided to cease communication indefinitely. Nothing bad happened, it was just time to let go. I went to California and hung out with a friend from home who now lives there and I developed a huge crush (that seemed reciprocated) on his roommate. The roommate ended up having a girlfriend who he did not mention once. I've been grieving that small instance as that same situation has happened before and it was extremely painful. But through this pain I have been actively rejecting my own common toxic coping habits that 100% of the time prolong my suffering. It is like ripping out teeth, especially for an anxiously attached hopeless romantic who overthinks everything. It has gotten to the point where I have thought more about this person than I've actually have had interactions with, and that's where I found a wound to patch up. This is just an example, but what I'm trying to say is-

If you are suffering emotionally from something you have conjured, find the parts that hurt and pay mind to it. Ask it why it's hurting, and no matter the answer, patch it up. In other words, replace the needle in the haystack that causes the huge ripple effect. Replace the coping mechanism that makes it worse for you with something more logical. The more honest you are with yourself, the clearer life and situations get. This is where I want to take this blog. I want to discuss more daily life emotional turmoil and how to better cope as I am also learning as a young adult woman living at home while taking years to get through college.

I think the most frustrating part of this time in your life (assuming you are also a lost young woman) is knowing that you have had it better before, and it feels like you are in a constant decline. I watch past memories of myself and I feel jealousy towards her because she has no idea how good she has it. She had bigger artistic aspirations, she had great romantic partners who were devoted to her, she was not worried about what she was going to do to fill in the day tomorrow to make it bearable, like she's working towards something at all. I have been feeling really aimless for awhile since I got home in December. My life was flipped upside down and I feel like I never fully got back on my feet in terms of direction in life. It's been six months and I am tired. I took a break from school which helped me learn a ton about myself as a human and how to take care of my brain better, but it also made things worse because I have had no structure, no purpose to my days. It looks really easy. No school, just work at the movie theater sometimes, live at home for free with home cooked meals, etc. I am a very lucky and privileged person to have all these things, but it does not create a fulfilled life. I am empty. I feel meaningless. I always felt I had a place in the world, a big one. I always took up so much space and was so loud with my existence because I believed in myself. I don't have that anymore. I spend my days posting random things on instagram and checking to see if one person saw it. I sit in this bed, maybe I'll spend too much money on a coffee I won't finish, and I overthink the entire day because I have way too much time on my hands.

I desperately need to sort out my life. I have discovered that we never stop thinking "I need to get my shit together." That can feel daunting or comforting depending on where you're at mentally. I find aging to be both of those things. I am so very young, but I've been listening heavily to the older women giving advice to younger generations. I think we shut them out too much. Older women who have welcomed aging mentally and physically are so valuable, yet we think that they are useless to us. We think they don't understand us, but you have to put that generational gap aside. One thing I have learned from studying philosophy is that a majority of the human experience is shared throughout centuries. Past generations understand the same circumstances that we all face in their own ways. It's important to listen to all of their stories with an open mind. Like they say in tarot card readings, "take what resonates, leave what doesn't." They have had their own unique experiences just like you, but it's all related. Have a conversation about your troubles with someone older, it will give you clarity and comfort that none of this is new.

Absolutely nothing about what you are going through is new in this universe. Take solace in that.

[xxnashiraxx]

BG3 TAG GAME ✨⚔️

Thank you thank you @verbenaa for tagging me in this!! I have been away from tumblr for a bit so my apologies for the delay!! 👉👈

Favorite Romance: It's the vampire. It's always gonna be the vampire. Funny thing about me- so I knew of Astarion before playing the game this January. One of our friends tried to convince my husband and I to play with him when it first came out in August but I was deep in my Fairy Tail writing project/multichapter story (of which has now been indefinitely postponed because of this game, 💔, but come July I will be insufferable when 100 Year Quest comes out, so stay tuned). I saw that there was a vampire elf in the game (cue my Thranduil crush and my Twilight/vamp obsession since childhood) and I instantly fell in love but didn't get fully immersed until my husband got the game in late December and seeing him interacting with the characters completely sold me.

Favorite Class to Play: I am still on my first playthrough! Going 5 months strong, thank you patch 6 for destroying my two playthroughs 💖 But I selected Durge first and went with the default Sorcerer and I absolutely LOVE it. I have a few Act 1 and 2 side campaigns with my husband playing cleric, rogue, and ranger, but by far Sorcerer is my favorite as well as Fighter. Planning on playing that class at some point because Lae'zel is just *chefs kiss*. 🤏

Favorite NPC: I love Alfira and all the tieflings so much, but specifically I love Rolan and Bex. I felt genuinely sad when meeting Bex again in Act 2, and I had to help her no matter what. Rolan started off as really nothing but a self centered jerk in my mind, but once I found him in Act 3, I just absolutely fell for him. 💗 I would also like to make a mention of Dame Aylin- she's the most beautiful angel I've ever seen and I would die for her.

Favorite Song Off the Soundtrack: The Power with lyrics. It is so surreal. My other frequently played are I Want to Live (obvi), Raphael's Final Act, and Song of Balduran (the one that ruined the only secret I hadn't managed to spoil for myself most likely hours before I discovered it on my own!). They all go so hard.

Tell Us a Little About Your Tav: My first and only so far is my Durge, the original Ofelia (not associated with my WIP fic). 💗 Once I finally started my own campaign (a few days after getting the game and starting to play with my group) I immediately chose that as one of my friend's chose Durge in our shared campaign and the character really interested me. She's a human storm sorcerer- I know sorcerer is the default for Durge and I kinda went with it, but I specifically chose this set up partly because of one of my favorite fic's main characters! Her backstory is super muddy, but she fiercely loves her friends and Astarion. 💗 She'd die for any of them, wishes she and Orin weren't enemies, and resists her father's influence as hard as she can. She's hot headed and wont take shit from anyone.

Something You Wish Was in the Game: I would actually love more voiced dialogue for Tav/Durge! I know it makes the game more immersive, but it would be super cool to see 💗

Do You Create Fanworks? Share Something With Us: I do! I like to draw and write, I've not created a ton of content so far, but I really like this Astarion art I've done

and I'm creating a multi-chapter story for my original character: it's an isekai where a woman from Earth/the modern world gets transported to BG3! The game isn't a thing on her Earth, so Faerun is canon in that universe lol. I'm actually really excited for it! I hope to start posting it soon- once I've hit Act 2 I will definitely start. I suffer from the condition of "not finishing fics" or at least I did years ago, but I am putting that behind me now and I'm going to trust myself and begin to post once I've cleared the first act 💕 Here's a little teaser for the opening of the first chapter!

An eerie quiet moves through the streets, cars fewer and farther between than normal. An unsettling feeling crawls over Ofelia’s skin and she shrugs her coat closer to her body, warding the night air off as she turns down a familiar alley. Her tiny apartment’s window glints at the end of the shadowed corridor and she grins, reaching into her pack to step back into her roller blades. This last stretch has always been the most fun, and perhaps it’s the trepidation hanging in the night, but a smile and some exhilaration seems like the perfect medicine. She just has to get home, kick start her weekend with a cocktail and a good book, and tomorrow she’ll finally be able to adopt the cat of her dreams.

With the last lace tied, she secures her skirt and hunches over, preparing to rocket down the alleyway. She feels her muscles tense, sets her jaw- prepares to beat her personal best. She can taste the moisture in the air and the warning of the impending storm approaching, feels it in her bones as she mentally counts down.

3… 2… 1…

She never moves. Something flickers out of the corner of her eye, large and black and hulking in the night. It roils and undulates in the sky above the city, sweeping over the buildings like a dark tidal wave. She doesn’t have time to scream when the mass careens towards her, doesn’t have time to raise her arms in defense of a hit that never comes. She’s only greeted with total black as her world spins out of control and she falls unconscious.

No pressure tag! @preciouslittlebhaalbae (if you haven't done one already!)

BG3 TAG GAME ✨⚔️

thank you so much to my wonderful and talented friend @khywren for tagging me in this 💖💞! I had so much fun doing this, even if it took me like three days to get to 😅

Favorite romance: in my Astarion era 💅 but in all seriousness, Astarion's character arc is very important to me in a variety of ways and has been a very cathartic to experience as someone who was lucky enough to escape an abusive relationship in my past.

Favorite class to play: I love bards because of the versatility! But on my next run I'm going to do a druid 🍃

Favorite NPC: This is soooo tough because I think there is so many amazing characters in this game, but I really like all the wild shit that Raphael AND Gortash have going on. There's a lot to dig into with both of those guys, they're so fucked lol

Favorite song off the soundtrack: ooooh this is so hard, there's so many good ones but I really love 'I Want To Live', both versions! Also props to Raphael's Final Act for obvious reasons.

Tell us a little about your Tav: Rin is my chaotic sword bard baby who isn't actually that great a being a bard and better instead with stabbing things (we love a relatable queen?). She's a little flippant, a little silly, sometimes clever, and lives in my head rent free.

Something you wish was in the game: I am echoing many other people when I say that I wish there was more content for Wyll. I think it's such a crime that he was deprived of a full character arc! I am also endlessly frustrated that he is not given an option to decide for himself (like Shadowheart was) regarding whether to break his pact with Mizora. I spent a full 30 minutes in debate with my husband over this choice in my first run and was so frustrated with this fact and honestly either decision feels like a raw deal.

Do you create fanworks? Share something with us: I do! I am currently busy writing Astarion/Tav and Astarion/Reader fanfiction. to eden is my current baby, and one I've poured a lot of time into and that I'm proud of. I'll also never stop being proud of my very first fic air so deep and sweet, as I really leapt off the ledge and dove headfirst into something I was so deeply insecure about but ended up paying off in the end and has literally changed my life in regards to how I now see myself 💖

no pressure tags: @elinorbard @ladyduellist and @xxnashiraxx if you want to join in, no worries if not 💞!

[starzgaze]

Modern au: science major albedo!

(a/n: this is my take for the modern au lol also I got inspo from @/saekogun so please check them out)

he would definitely be tired 24/7

like he always have eyebags under his eyes it's really concerning

he is usually tucked in with his load of work and is always in his laboratory with sucrose or some other students

he also sometimes becomes the substitute teacher sometimes if the their teacher doesn't come in for the day for personal reasons so he would usually take the role to teach the class

tbh him teaching the class is sometimes even better than the teacher teaching the class

his silky voice circling around the room gives off a chill vibe and it's very calming and soothing atmosphere to learn in

he simplifies the lessons in the end to make it easier for his classmates to understand it

also because I'm planning to make this into an au, of course theres gonna be an mc (it's gonna be you or an oc but I will not be using the name but whenever I will the MC it would be probably my main oc or just the usual y/n you see on tiktoks)

kaeya always flirt with albedo with stupid science jokes or pick up lines

he's also very popular? well to be honest expected because albedo is one of the top students in his school

probably has a reward for making a new invention that benefits society and probably has a shit ton of degrees? he's a prodigy so he has a lot rewards that's what I'm saying

whenever Klee visits him, klee always play with his hair and albedo will never take it off until the end of the day

not alot of people has the privilege to interact with albedo because he's always occupied in his laboratory or dorm unless you're MC/y/n-

but yea you can bring him out if you use y/n/MC as bait to bring him out to embrace sunlight

he always bring a sketchbook that's pretty small so he can bring it everywhere (to sketch your beautiful/handsome face-) and he always have this lovestruck face whenever he's with you

whenever he brings Klee with you, you 3 looks like a big cute couple with their child and he enjoys the feeling whenever an old couple come up to the three of you and say " Awww that's a cute kid you two have there" and watches you get flustered and try to explain to the couple that you two aren't dating (yet) and that you're just babysitting with albedo

albedo enjoys your company, you're ideas are great or motivation to keep him going and continue his work and work the the fullest even if your ideas are just stupid jokes

you joke alot that what that you and albedo are also another match made in heaven (because with other characters you or the MC gets confused as a couple to other strangers or people on the streets) and albedo just sits there trying to decode your words if you just confessed that you might have feelings for him-

he gets jealous not very easily? no actually I kinda take it back it's pretty easy to make him jealous if he's in that stage of down bad, cause in the start he would think that this is a short obsession and he would conclude that he will be over with this obsession after like a week like with his other interests or work, BUT ITS FAILED AND IT DIDNT WORK LOl

the more he deep down into researching you, stalking your socials, observing you from afar, even having a separate notebook full of information of you, your hobbies, your part-time workplace, pretty much everything about your life

whenever you interact with him, his words gets very jumbled and he has a hard time to figure out what words to use to talk

also random headcanon, he wears this labcoat that has some patches you stitched on because you noticed it has a big hole and you asked albedo if you can fix it in a weird way and of course he accepted it and now it has big patch that has whatever you want to envision as

man I have no ideas anymore but albedo is rotting i

my mind alot so

also maybe the thought albedo and kaeya dating and having the same obsession on mc/y/n is ahsjdjdjkd

imagine the power they hold

[writeradamanteve]

I hope I'm not bugging you when I ask (and feel free to ignore this): if you had full creative control of the show, how would you run season 5? You can pick and choose whatever leaks you want to include.

Oh, I’m not sure if I’ve watched enough of season 5 leaks to answer this intelligently, but I still love this ask, so thank you, my dear. This is a gift!

So first of all, whatever nonsense the writers did to make Betty do what she did with our (un)beloved Redheaded Casanova, will mostly only impact Varchie in a very negative way.

I’m not saying this won’t impact Bughead. Betty, to my mind, would have told Jughead already, and while Jughead will get hurt, it won’t be enough for him to breakup with Betty then and there. Whatever the aftermath of that will be for Bughead, they would hve resolved it by promnight. Veronica finds out at promnight via Archie, and she will get mad at Betty (rightfully so) and leave Archie’s ass.

Bughead will go on to being their loving selves, but that angsty love scene will definitely be their Heading Off to College Sex. They don’t break up then and there, but as they go their separate ways, Jughead kind of self-sabotages and they drift apart and break up while in college. Jughead loathes himself and Betty dedicates herself to her studies 110%.

Here’s where I really deviate from what we’ve been hearing. 3 of the core 4 are NOT totally unhappy about their lives outside of Riverdale. Veronica is a wild success because that’s the way she is. She’s dating a douche but that has nothing to do with her success. Betty is in the FBI, but she struggles with beaucracy. Jughead has published a book or two, made it to top 10 in the NYT bestsellers list in his category (crime fiction). They come back because Archie, who is indeed a fireman—probably the only narrative I agree with here—calls them all to ask for their help: He’s been accused of a murder and all evidence points to him, so much so that even Jughead wonders if he didn’t do it.

Veronica has half a mind to just let him rot, but Betty, whom Veronica had made-up with through the years because she realized she never wants a man to get between her and her girl, convinces Ronnie to help their Idiot friend because otherwise he will truly get the chair and nobody deserves that. Veronica said she’d do it for a lark.

Jughead, going through a bit of a writers block and a rough patch with his girlfriend, succumbs to his tendency to flee stressful circumstances and find his anchor, goes back to Riverdale with the following excuses, in order of importance (according to him):

Help Archie

Find writing inspiration in this new caper

Give him and his GF space to figure things out

Connect with “old friends”

As we all know #4 is his #1 and that Veronica was never really his friend.

Betty is definitely in the FBI and she is seeing someone who is in the FBI, too. He’s kind of like Captain America and the nuclear bomb of boyfriends, but we know she always liked the soft boi and one look at Jughead and she’s

By the third episode, Jughead and his GF had broken up and him and Betty are investigating. Betty’s BF is beginning to feel like the third wheel. Veronica has found a ton of new business opportunities and Hello Again Reggie.

Toni owns and runs the Whyte Wyrm, is leading the Serpents, and has a sexual relationship with Cheryl, but she’s since learned that NOT being Cheryl’s GF means she can actually run her own life, so Cheryl is there when they’re frisky but Toni’s her own boss.

Cheryl runs the holdings of the Blossoms and is now running for Mayor. Lots of tension between her and Toni because of this, but we all know Cheryl craves power. Her political ambitions are to go higher —> Governor, eventually. But Mayor, first.

At some point, Captain America realizes Betty is still in love with Jughead and breaks up with her. And of course we’ll get more

And

And

Which will definitely become this

And Veronica, in all her fabulousness will realize that Archie truly, verily sucks and that her douche boyfriend also sucks. She likes Reggie, but just for fun.

After they all help solve the crime and prove that Archie didn’t kill that person (probably his ex?), Toni and Cheryl still have their sexual relationship but have come to collaborate with regard to their respective ambitions, bughead will marry, and Veronica is happily single. Like truly happily.

How do we close the season? We can close it with Archie putting something away that makes us wonder, “Holy shit, did he actually kill that person after all?”

Because Archie is Riverdale and Riverdale is the Murder Capital of the world.

[constip8merm8]

Do not let those big brown eyes fool you. This is the face of the enemy. This little fucker did this to my vegetable patch 3 days ago. In broad day light. While I was inside having lunch, this evil fucktard destroyed my baby beans and ate the pre leaves of my radishes. So I put up chicken wire. Because, I'm not surrendering my vegetables that easily.

But then today, when I went to check, the stupid fucker had come back and sampled the buffet again. Mind you, I'd been out there at 3:15 pm and this hadn't happened yet. The radishes that were still in the ground were making a valiant effort and were standing proud and perky at 3:15. It was between 3:15 & 6:15 that this evil fuck pulled out all of the radishes and left the baby stalks strewn about like discarded match sticks.

Look at them! I'm so upset at this stupid bunny. I hate rabbits. I would glady share the fruits of my vegetable patch with them if they only let the shit grow to maturity. But to destroy the baby plants before it even had a chance? Evil, evil, little shits. And there's a shit ton of other tender shoots for the fucking rabbit to eat in the yard. So much other food. I HATE RABBITS SO MUCH.

[sjofn-lofnsdottr]

I can't speak for anyone but myself, of course, but I suspect at least some of my feelings on it aren't unique. I've been through the MSQ completely five times now. I happen to be in the middle of Stormblood on a sixth! I agree that people are way too hard on Stormblood. And yet ... Stormblood is always the expansion I look forward to replaying the least, the expansion I am most likely to skip cutscenes in.

This got ridiculously long because I'm apparently In a Mood, so let me hide most of it.

For most of this, when I say 'Stormblood,' I'm primarily talking about 4.0 proper, and how I feel about it, looking back. I will touch on patch stuff a little, though!

So, I think the major issue with Stormblood is that it's the story arc that is least connected to the Warrior of Light personally, especially without the aid of headcanon. I think ARR and Heavensward do a better job of giving you reasons your character might be personally invested in the outcome, more than just 'well, people need help, so I guess I'm helping!' Your character doesn't talk much prior to Stormblood, but this possible distance was an important enough thing for the writers to acknowledge that you get a dialogue choice to say it's not your fight! So I suspect a lot of people just don't feel as connected to it, so a lot of the story beats get held at arm's distance, which makes them feel less powerful, leaving space to remember all the boring shit.

I'm one of those people who felt like my WoL was a side character. I'm sure Zenos is intended to be that hook for the people like me, the thing that makes this revolution personal no matter what my feelings on it might've been before that meeting. The personal growth part of the narrative, if you will. At least, he's the only broadly personal hook I can think of that you don't need to fill any blanks in for.

But Zenos' intro sucked. It sucked for me. I didn't feel like he defeated my WoL on his own merits, it felt like he beat him because the game says so. I know this game has plot rails we need to follow, but it's rare it's so nakedly in our face. They were telling me Zenos was powerful and scary, not showing me. I love when my characters lose as a setback. It's one of my favorite things! But it needs to feel earned, rather than breaking my suspension of disbelief the way the first two duties facing him do (although I think the second encounter is better). So not only did it not feel earned, it was fumbling a trope I normally enjoy.

With that early failure to draw me into what it was trying to sell me, Stormblood also wound up lacking much tension for me. There was no question in my mind that I would kick Zenos' ass as soon as the game would deign to allow it, or that these countries were gonna get liberated, and I don't feel like the story of how we got there was enough to make up for it. There weren't really any twists in the road, and the stuff that did make me feel some kind of way was often passed over quickly or worse, undone later, robbing them of their weight when you look back on them. Krile being taken prisoner did make me feel tension! But she's pretty much fine after, and they don't do a ton with that plot thread down the road. Gosetsu's scene at the end of Doma Castle was one of my favorite things ... right up until a credits scene completely undid it. Zenos' ending in Stormblood was fantastic, and made me retroactively appreciate what they tried to do with him ... right up until they undid that. I actually liked how some of those turned out - I am someone who likes the Tsuyu arc, I wound up finally appreciating Zenos much much later, and so on - but when I look back at them, it still feels like a lot of those narrative beats either don't have much to do with the WoL, didn't really impact them very much, or weren't ultimately that important overall.

It's also a pretty black and white story, as far as FFXIV's stories go. The Revolutions are Good. The Empire is Bad. At best you get some glimpses of how different people deal with being subjugated, and it's interesting when they do that, but it's a pretty cut and dry story over all, at least compared to the expansions on either side of it.

To be clear, I didn't really mind it wasn't my WoL's story. My main WoL loves to support his friends in any way he can, and he absolutely would go along for this ride, so there were no problems on that front. Honestly, he'd prefer to be a side character in this, since it's not his homeland or his fight. I enjoyed Lyse's arc, I don't mind at all that she's the real main character of Stormblood (and I will go to the mat for her any day). I think Stormblood introduced a lot of really good characters! But the stuff happening around them just feels flat to me, much of the time. The emotional highs and lows just aren't that high or low in the long term.

So because I don't have that strong personal connection to the various plot things going on in Stormblood, because the emotional beats aren't as strong for me due to a lack of tension or the knowledge they get undone, even the mildest slowdown feels extra slow to me. I promise I remember that every single expansion has slow stuff (honestly, you want to talk about people memory holing filler, look at Shadowbringers), but Stormblood is the one whose slow bits stand out in my mind over the exciting narrative parts ... because even if they weren't undone later, there weren't a lot of exciting parts that affected my WoL personally, or felt earned if they did.

But to end on what I intend to be a positive note: I think another contributor to Stormblood getting pooped on isn't Stormblood's fault at all. I think people just ... forget how strong the patches were. I started playing towards the end of Stormblood's cycle, the entire patch MSQ was done by the time I got to the end of 4.0. I ripped through those way faster than 2.0's (A SLOG and I'm pretty sure is 95% of the reason older players hate on ARR) or 3.0's (fun, but once the Dragonsong War was officially over, I felt okay about meandering around doing bullshit instead of advancing the story), because I very much wanted to see what happened next. As reluctant as I sometimes am to replay 4.0, I have no reluctance with its patches. I personally think they're the best ones they've done, so far, and play a part in why Shadowbringers was so well received.

Sorry this got so long! I've just been thinking about Stormblood a lot lately, since I'm replaying it with a friend right now. I'm also married to a man who feels very strongly that Stormblood is hideously underrated, so it's definitely something I've chatted about before. :P

When I see people say things like "ARR and SB don't have the best writing" while conspicuously skipping over Heavensward, I do wonder what their memories of Heavensward actually are and how long ago they played it. Because, and this is true for me as well, I think there are a few big dramatic moments in Heavensward that stand out in our memories as emblematic of the whole experience. (Also, there are the hot elves. We love the hot elves. Myself 150% included. This is an elezen-loving house.) But when you actually go back and look at the plot structure of Heavensward, as I've been doing recently myself for fic purposes, it's... look. Generously, the pacing is not anything to write home about. It's the kind of pacing issues that are common to RPGs generally, so I hate to be overly harsh, but the thing where anytime something interesting is threatening to happen the plot grinds to a halt and you must perform a thousand menial tasks before you're allowed to proceed--Heavensward does that hard. And look, I enjoy menial quests where you help NPCs because I'm the kind of insane where I do all the sidequests. But it's not well-paced, I think maybe because a lot of those in-between stretches feel like they're there to delay you from reaching plot points rather than setting them up. All those dramatic moments we remember happen in the back half of Heavensward. I'd really like to New Game + it sometime to really get a better feel for it, but based on digging through a lot of quest transcripts recently... the pacing just isn't great. And I remember Stormblood's pacing being a lot stronger, setting up the stakes early with Zenos and raising the tension and doing a pretty good job of maintaining it. What is the fabled Bad Writing in Stormblood that doesn't apply to Heavensward? I genuinely have no idea. It's one of those things I see people say a lot and not explain.

[myheartbeatskids]

So Declan loved me and we talked about science and lab babies and clones and all that. So He told me he loved me because i was the first person to really really listen and understand as opposed to being the one to teach.

And so he had understood what he was taught then developed and built upon it correctly with help from his own brain and God. And del Muerte whom helped me understand as well cause that shit was mind blowing.

So he asked me to have his soul mate. To give birth to her.

And I was pretty much dragged out and Declan ran the show after that.

I agreed but it was more like a thing where i had to focus and talk instead of fainting.

So Matt actually helped to implant because I have an upturned uterious and so things like that are painful because of the rigidity and non flexible as i need materials used while Jeremiah comforted and helped me relax.

So then essentially i was kidnapped.

Declan is part clone and part Neanderthal.

Annabelle is part clone and part Neanderthal.

So some of us from Michael Jackson's boarding school --- although I wasn't i stayed there alot on my own. So i was part of it, unofficially as i am a civilian doing military shit now. --- have clones in a laboratory. But they are miniature human size as they are kept in barbie size containers.

Since Declan was a clone Jesse gave permission to make, they said i should use a clone.

It took 5 eggs until Declan approved the child that would be created in the embryo. Del Muerte communicated to us what God said.

Most males get their soul mates at age 7. Declan was only 2 years old. So God hadnt had enough experience to program or create his perfect soulmate.

So it just so happened it was 2 years of plus 5 embryos which makes the year 7 while added together.

So when Annabelle was born Declan came to get me and her but my now ex-husband got me all fucked up and i had amnesia and all that and i remember the power struggle type issues while signing the birth certificate which is why i get child support as my ex swore bla bla bla and signed papers to those statements but I was all "Dude while he's signing let's run!" Because he pissed me off during that time and i was all no hes wrong and all... But I guess I was scared of him or his aura csused me confusion or Idk. I remember feeling sick.

So craziness. We are 16 years late. And unfortunately yet fortunately a lot of research was done and i have a lot of government apology money coming my way. Which i don't have yet.... But soon.

This is Cambria AvaLynn named after Alexis Dejoria.

Because Matt's parents were into hiding, they named him after a mat. A common object so in case of ESP feom the people they hid from they would think "welcome mat" like welcome to travel with us son named Matt. Welcome to eat at the dining table, Matt. Well, come, Matt.

So came or come because i would always want to see Matt so I would say "You came!!!" When i saw him and hug him and he would say "welcome"

And Bria after me.

Turning the x into a v (for Victory) and Lynn as in the 80s most of my friends on the military base i lived on has Lynn as their middle names. So to remind me she is a friend.

She's my child that was ectopic due to the sponges Jamie & Doug Otis found and reminded us of. But we went to the hospital because i began to hemmoragge and they were able to save her and her twin.

Then my mom killed her and he died naturally as he was in ICU TO experiment on them being raised/healed as premies temporarily as one within an incubator and the other skin to skin contact. As woman need to be comforted more, we picked Ava to bring home.

They were the first experiment with soul mates being born as twins. Both clones of my and Jeremiah and his being Ava and my being the male Andrew.

Andrew after Jesse... "And he drew" cause he was always drawing beautifully.

And the other clones were of Jesse James and Alexis.

Alexis got kidnapped by her dad and so the story goes... I did too Eventually

Jeremiah's dad helped us as the grandparent in house.

This is Declan.

He told Jeremiah "I'm not the one sitting around waiting with a pouted lip waiting for someone to do it for me. Now i found the woman and go get my kid!!"

Dude WTF I'm not having someones kid... I'm only 21!!

"Now im the man around the house and what I say goes!!! And you are going to have my kid!!"

Dude whatever. So i did dream into the lab with them but... I thought we were just playing and so i agreed and so next thing i knew there was a frozen child ready to be implanted. Thus my ability to be kidnapped so easily...

Cause when a kid is all telling you about clones and labs and shit... And you're hearing voices... that shit is insane. Literally.

So i didn't take it seriously enough.

But Declan is only 19 Now. And my kid is 16.

So it's old enough to have a romantic relationship. To avoid issues i had as a child with social services.

The plan was to have them grow up as friends but also believed it may been too dangerous....

Yet I still don't agree that it was.

However for the last 10 year's I have been working daily for my amnesia to be solved and also saving the world (of NHRA especially) at the same time.

And have earned multiple Nobel Peace Prizes which i have yet to receive.

So working on law enforcement and the military and government, about to break into the public school system and tear that up ;) as a civilian has earned me billions of dollars i have yet to receive....

But i have given away as i can and have bought businesses that I want.

As proof that the government does care about all its people's hopes and dreams they have bought them on my behalf and am gsining bank! And i shop st my own businesses too... Ironically! I been shopping at Loves for nearly a year... went into Speedway a few times now i drive an extra 5 miles just to shop there because i like it more!!

Robert, the shift manager finally told me tonight as I bought all the GIANTS for my Giant 6'7" man. And i turned the ones in Valencia County to Speedway in honor of Aaron and Paul (twins) who wanted to show the dangers of meth and the meth community as they honored me with my idea of how to end Breaking Bad with the movie reel of El Camino (the mother road) of the manner of the psychological reality of life gone wrong.

I freak Robert out... He was worried when he saw me there that I was to audit like a monster, fire everyone and work the cash register and store myself.

So tonight he saw I bought milkshakes (not available at Love's) figured it out and gave me a pack of smokes for free and blurted out why.

So i took all the giants as i always do and fucked them all up and made them better.

So i own them till i make my money back on the businesses and then they get given to who I intended it for... As I do double check they will always be worthy... If not i keep them for me because I was being good snd honest and fair the whole time.

So 360° K i own.

So i only compete with Love's whom I always promised the King's Highway to... You know him... As an old time Western Thug bitch ass womanizer player. Motorcycle Guru. Hot Rod extraordinaire. Texas loving son of a gun. Jesse James Smith! Just kidding... Just regular old ole fogie mad scientist Jesse Gregory Smith. Of West Coast Choppers. Which i own and always have as i put up the money for his business intending to always be in his life and helping him. So my apology... The only one i can ever give as i can't predict the future without help is Love. And he loves everyone and won't let Google tell.

I bought every gas station in the country as we will be switching to electric and hydro electric and non fuel and solar and hybrid autos by 2030. So the previous owners have a nice retirement and no stress. As the storage oil facilities that were shot in Saudia Arabia were actually empty. I own them.

Fossil fuels are actually the blood of dinosaurs and other dead bodies that are converted and broken down and dehydrated by plant life...

I found that out by the eternal bushes burning.. I mean growing... here on the mountain. Tumble weeds otherwise known as thyme. And we found via satellite tons of skeletons by Earth xrays under the bushes and some not as they are closer to the Earth surface. I found a wooly mammoth knuckle bone.

We moved here in 2002 and there was a patch of earth that looked like concrete by the mail boxes and we just drove over them assuming that's what it was.

They were mummified wooly mammoths. Now broken up and scattered all over the desert road.

I would not like my blood which could potentially bring me back to life wasted on a car... For someone to get to a job they hate. So no more. Not from the USA anyways.

One night I was at dinner and i said Obama needs to handle thwt South Dakota pipeline. My dad was all what is he supposed to do? All simple solutions were crap and had an argument. I said "then lie! Tell the American people they are scum! Tell them we opened the pipeline up and the pipes broke and destroyed the precious land that needs to be protected." My dad laughed and i felt kinda stupid for being so angry.

But Uncle Donald heard my point and so thats exactly what he did. Fake news? Its real.

Because he saw the change I made in the NHRA with some lies that laid very close to the truth.

You don't need to believe in reincarnation for it to happen. I didn't until about 6 months ago. But my mom's mom and my great aunt my grandma's sister ... Granny Bessie Heltons 2 daughters did. My grandma explained it to me one night when I was 18 as i had asked my Great Aunt Nita i was closer to but she didn't explain she just said "because i do" And the dictionary explaination i already knew. But my grandma traveled with me like y'all know i do And showed me.

We started in Heaven with only having one human life and having the soul figure of a human that we select. Hers was a teenage body, absolutely beautiful. With her old ass mind and experience. I told her what I wanted was to be a child. A dirty raggedy haired barefoot blonde without a care in the world, feeling smarter than I feel now... Because that is when i was happiest. When i saw i could end pain and suffering with death, when i knew life could escape heart ache, even when evil exist.

And so now on her second cat life with me, as her first caused her kidnapping by the same drug induced psycho piece of shit that arrested and molested Jesse James dog, Coco and her untimely death as I did record in Tumblr. "Sister Kitty" was kidnapped by him, hes in a special jail. He just had his pinkie finger nail and big toe nail removed as he did kidnap Mogar and slice his face and slice Kizzys leg. So in order to understand what he did he agreed to similar punishment as he did to our precious cargo...

Cargo my bitches!

Jesse: No! I only ask!

Me: who do i have to convince?

Jesse: Idk Jeremiah?

Me: Ava who is your dad?

Ava: Idk I guess not Jeremiah?? IDK!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL!? you all always told me they are both my dad's. Let me ask God. Oh! Jesse! ..... And Jeremiah

Me: your dad is your dad and dad he will always be no matter shine or high water, love will always be there for you and for me. Alexis, do you know that one?

She nods all teary..

Jesse: well did i get loves?!

Me: uhh yes ass hole! We always love you back. What do you want with a gas station with no gas? That's like having a family with out us, most especially me!

Jesse: well it got gas now!!!

Me: well gas up at your local, bring a truck. I got a lot of stuff.

Declan: you hear her? Most especially me! Me! Well, me too, you better pick me up.

Me: Jesse... You ready for Orlando?? I got a Chase bank account with the Princess Castle on the debit card... Just needs a little cash in the account.

Jesse: You Mean You Will Pay!!!

Me: i see that was not a question so that does not deserve a response. But yes. I am suppose to have a wire transfer per last night's discussions that will pay for it.

Jesse: WHOA SHIT!

Me: Jeremiah you down?

Jeremiah: to pay Miss Giant Owner?

Me: uhh I'm Miss Speedyway now. No.. Carry me through times square after some Disney World Fun!

Jeremiah: FUCK YES!! uhh yes thank you for inviting me. I will go

Matt Hagan: look look at this. Im the best friend i even got her kid named after me

Me: Matt Hagan... Looks like you're invited, The Best Friend. In or out of Disney World for the hotel.

Matt: IN!!

Me: youre definitely going you know how to do it right! Pops... You gonna stay home alone with your woman?

Pops: not if i don't have to

M3: you don't

Pops: shit! Oh yeah!

Chuck: what about Cookie!!

Me: you and bring Your comrades I need to talk to

Chuckie: oh Cookies going!

Me: I didn't know he could do the Conga.

Jesse: yes you did!

Me: no wonder it looked familiar.

[onion-souls]

Got since cool advice/stories for a dude doing his first run of a Druid in 5e? I took Circle of the Moon, so now I'm practically the group's tank for the time being.

Well, Moon Druid is one of the harder subclasses to play, but one of my favorites.

The most important thing to do is get a loose leaf file and pick out your favorite animal forms. It’s a lot of preparation, but will save you time, space, and embarassment at the table. Riffling through the PHB, Monster Manual, and Tome of Foes isn’t fun and might annoy your DM.

The best core forms are Dire Wolf (CR1), Brown Bear (1)/Polar Bear (2), Giant Elk (CR 2), Giant Scorpion (CR3 at 9th level, though be mindful of poison-immune foes, which hurt its damage output immensely), and giant spider or, if you have Mordenkainen’s Tome of Foes, the Female Steeder (CR1).

People love the Brown Bear, but use Dire Wolf unless you have a ton of ranged characters. Pack tactics, potential for prone on a hit, 10 average damage, AC 14/HP37, and 50ft speed are better than the multiattack of the bear (20 damage of both hit), unless you want that climb speed.

The Giant Hyena has the rampage ability of gnolls. This gives it decent killing power and maneuvering in a horde of weaklings like goblins, kobolds, though it’s usually inferior to the bears.

The CR2 (so 6th level) Giant Elk has languages, including its own(?), 60ft speed, decent AC for a beast, and can dish out nasty damage on a charge.

Note that Giant Scorpion has blindsight as well. It’s niche, but scary when paired with vision emparing spells; if you have a Blade Warlock with Devil’s Sight and Darkness, you can get absolutely mean.

The Stench Kow has a poisonous stank cloud that can suppress crowds.Deinonychus (Volo’s) has 3 attacks at CR1. Hard to find, though.

The best aquatic form is the Giant Octopus (CR1, available at 4th level). Not for damage, but it has 60 ft. Swim speed (and a 10ft, land speed), darkvision, advantage on stealth, an ink cloud panic button, and its arms allow for you to get away with justifying a lot more actions than your fish or cetacians would. You might even be able to bullshit away some magical item use, and grappling into restraint gets very scary underwater. Also has good HP. Giant Shark comes it at CR5, but is purely a battle form (well, it has blindsight as well.) And comes online at 15th level; at that point, the Water Elemental is better if you have the wildshape uses.

Note the Warhorse as well. It’s a fantastic social animal. A duplicitous party could easily smuggle three people to a private meeting by having their fighter ride a polymorph!warhorse while the druid is a fly on its back.

Also pick out a flying form, you’ll make a great scout. Most birds and low CR flyers will have terrible HP and are oddly easy to hit, so find something with a high flight speed and the Flyby trait. Owl probably the best here until you see a Flying Snake.

In addition to these beasts, you should also want a list of good Polymorph forms and Conjure Animal forms, because it’s just the best spell and you got into this class to shapeshift. The Polymorph forms as of now top out with the Tyranosaurus Rex at CR8, and Great Ape at CR7. Great Ape might actually be better; T-Rex as a pure damage edge, but the Great Ape is actually rather bright at Intelligent 7, can climb, and has one of the few ranged attacks among Beasts, excellent since you want to avoid damage in Polymorph form and hit fliers.

Oh, and it’s going to be hard to justify, but that CR2 Queztalcoatlus ROCKS

Finally, if you ever get to 10th level, prepare your elemental forms.

Pick up the feats Resiliant (Constitution) and Warcaster as soon as possible. Other than maximized Wisdom, 14 Dexterity, and a good Constitution score, Moon druids are the least ability score dependent class in the game, so take as many fun feats as you can. Magic Initiate (Wizard) is particularly fun for Find Familiar and Booming Blade (in combination with Shillelaigh).

By late game, your wildshape power will rapidly fall off, and you should shift to being a spellcaster and scout.

Spells are fairly easy here, and you can switch them out on a long rest and the choices are fairly obvious. Take your non-concentration heal spell, your conjuring spells, a wall, Fairie Fire, Healing Spirit, Polymorph, and some terrain-based utility. Your Concentration slot and wildshaping shuts down a lot of possibilities.

Don’t think of yourself as a cleric or a wizard, but like a bard who can summon a ton of shit. You’re here for crowd control and patch healing.

The best cantrips are Guidance and Primal Savagery, which scales better than Shilleilagh.

Among 1st level spells, Fairie Fire (this is always good), Healing Word, and possibly Thunderwave, your best early blast.

2nd- Enhance Ability (great utility), Heat Metal, Moonbeam, Pass Without Trace, Healing Spirit (amazing out of combat healing).

3rd is when Conjure Animal comes in, and here is your wolf pack. Yay. 4th is Polymorph, Conjure Minor Elementals and Woodland Beings, and Giant Insects. Those are broken as hell, and why you want the above critter lists.

5th level is a bunch of decent niche spells that are hard to predict what you need… And Conjure Elemental. Then Conjure Fey at 6th.

Your conjuration and shapeshifting spells are so much better than everything else you get.

At 7th level, Planeshift is a literal game changer. It’s a banisher and travel spell. Good stuff. Reverse Gravity is Great depending on your party composition. It gets better with more ranged attacks.