#and Patton thinks it’s the most romantic thing ever

[halfhissandwich]

Prince and the frog!

[part-time-zombie]

Blame It On The Alcohol

pairings: loceit (romantic, can be read as platonic)

summary: janus is used to having a drink or two alone. he's not used to logan showing up at his door asking for a glass, and definitely not after it looks like he's already had a few drinks himself.

tags/warnings: alcohol use, drinking and getting/being drunk, sharing a bed, hurt/comfort, angst, logan isn't okay, janus notices, janus gets slightly flirty and logan gets slightly flustered near the end, he doesnt take advantage of him or anything though, yeah they both get drunk but nothing smutty happens

word count: 3464

The last thing Janus expected to hear was a knock on his door. It was late, for one, and he along with most of the other sides are usually winding down for the night at this hour. Not to mention the fact that no one had ever bothered to knock on his door at all, or even stop by for any reason. Well, Remus would let himself in and he often stays up this late, but he never knocks first, always just kicking the door open and making himself at home whether Janus was there or not.

So it wasn’t him, but he couldn’t think of any reason anyone else would be here. Patton is never up this late, and Roman and Virgil would rather let the house burn down than talk to him voluntarily, so why on earth would someone be at his door right now?

The knocking resumed, a slow but heavy pounding at a wavering rhythm, and Janus decided he may as well answer it before whoever it was got bored and left. Sparing a moment to ensure he looked decent (he had been getting ready for bed after all), he opened the door with his best attempt at a neutral expression.

Logan stared back at him with the same look, leaning casually against the door frame once the door was opened.

“I’m out of wine,” he slowly mumbled, raising an almost empty bottle to further emphasize his point.

Janus took a moment to respond, taking in the sight of Logan most certainly drunk at his door this late at night. His tie had been loosened and his shirt was uncharacteristically wrinkled, and every so often he should shuffle in place as if he were trying to keep his balance. He looked dead tired, and almost undone in a way Janus had never seen before.

"I can see that,” he finally said, still trying to make sense of the situation. “Although you technically still have a bit of wine left in that bottle. Why are you here, exactly?”

Logan looked back down at the bottle in his hand before bringing it to his lips and tilting his head back, easily downing the last of the wine without hesitation. Once the bottle was completely drained, he all but shoved it into Janus’ arms.

"Now I’m officially out of wine,” he corrected. “And to answer your question, I know you likely store some of your own in your room. I would like to have some if you don’t mind.”

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

Logan's eyes narrowed. “Not hardly.”

Well, if he was so set on getting blackout drunk, who would Janus be to deny him another glass or two? This was going to be fun.

"Very well. By all means make yourself comfortable,” he said, moving aside and letting Logan stumble in to his room. Logan all but fell into the plush seat by Janus’ desk, running a hand over his face with a sigh.

Janus set down a fresh bottle of wine before moving to unlock one of the desk drawers for some glasses. He had to take such drastic measures after Remus stole all of his wine glasses some time ago. He grabbed what he needed only to see Logan already chugging straight from the bottle, nearly a quarter of it already having been drunk.

Janus quickly snatched the bottle out of his hands and placed it on the farthest end of the desk, ignoring Logan's whine of protest.

"And here I thought I was the selfish one,” he chided. “It would only have taken me a moment to get a glass, you know.”

"But I don’t just want to have just a glass of wine,” Logan replied, his words now slightly slurred. “You’re allowed to drink until you’re totally inebriated, why can’t I?”

“Because you’re the responsible one.”

“What if I don’t want to be?”

That brought a weight to Janus’ stomach, sinking uncomfortably within him.

“What are you saying, Logan?”

Logan sighed in frustration, as if the answer was obvious and Janus was an idiot for needing to ask. “I’m saying I don’t see the point in doing all the work around here when it doesn’t get me very far. Everyone else is allowed to be silly and stupid and selfish, and I always end up cleaning up after them. Don’t I deserve a break?”

“Of course you do, but I don’t think this counts.”

Logan shrugged, glancing wistfully at the bottle Janus kept out of his reach. “Maybe not, but it’s the closest thing I can get. I can drink until I stop thinking for the night and recover in the morning to get back to work, it works well enough.”

“You’ve done this before?” Janus asked, though they both knew it was more of an observation than a question.

“On occasion, when I don’t want to have to deal with everything. I just happened to run out of wine tonight, and I knew you’d have some.”

Well, this wasn’t nearly as much fun as Janus had hoped. He reached over and grabbed the wine, taking a rather large swill from it in the same manner that Logan had before passing it over to him. He didn’t want to be fully sober for this conversation.

"So how long have you been drinking your cares away, exactly?”

Another shrug. “I’d say roughly around the same time you started making appearances, if not a little bit before. It wasn’t necessarily because of you, though.”

Well that was a relief.

“Then what was it about?”

Logan took another long drink before passing the bottle back to him. “Something tells me you already know.”

He had an inkling or two. He took a drink as he tried to come up with a way to bring it up, passing the bottle back and Logan quickly started chugging from it.

“At a guess, it’s probably about the others. Perhaps even Roman specifically.”

Logan set the bottle down with a sigh, not looking up at Janus. “It’s not just Roman, or even about the others really.”

“Then what it is about?”

“Why should I tell you, exactly? You don’t even know what it is yourself, not to mention I know how much you love gossip. Frankly, me coming to you at all was a mistake.”

Logan got up from his seat, making his way to the door. Or at least, attempting to do so, as he staggered unsteadily and ultimately fell to the floor with a painful grunt.

Janus fought back a grin as he helped Logan back up, placing him back in the chair.

“Something tells me storming off won’t get you very far,” he teased.

“I shouldn’t have come here,” he slurred, head drooping heavily. “Now you’ll go telling everyone about how foolish I look, and then I’ll never hear the end of it.”

Janus almost felt sympathy for Logan. Or maybe it was pity. Or the wine. Either way, seeing him so dejected and defeated by something he wouldn’t share tugged at something in his chest, and he found he couldn’t stand Logan being like this.

“I admit I love to spread rumors and drama, but I promise I won’t talk about this to anyone. This isn’t just some petty squabble to laugh at over dinner; whatever is going on with you isn’t something I’d joke about with anyone.”

Logan scoffed in response before taking another drink.

“I’d still like to know whatever or whoever it is that’s driving you to drink. I could help make sure it doesn’t get this bad again or find a means of getting you a proper break.”

“You won’t like the answer.”

“I still want to hear it.”

Logan took a particularly long swig from the bottle before passing what was left over to Janus, sighing to himself as he did so.

“It’s Thomas.”

Janus was glad he hadn’t taken a drink yet or he would have done a spit take right then and there. Of all the things Logan could have said, Janus never thought it’d be that.

“Thomas is the problem?”

“More accurately, I am.” Logan replied. “No matter what I do or how I try, nothing ever works. He won’t listen to me; he won’t even interact with me at all unless there’s another problem the others are too dramatic to fix. I’m just a tool to him, something to be used when needed and left to collect dust otherwise. I don’t know what it is I’m doing wrong or why I can’t get through to him, but it always ends the same. I beg for him to see me, and he looks straight through me. It’s like I don’t exist to him anymore.”

Logan was right, Janus hated this answer. Knowing that it had gotten this bad and that he was this neglected by not just the other sides but by Thomas himself made his stomach turn. He took another sip of wine, hoping that it would somehow make this easier.

Maybe that’s what Logan hopes for when he drinks.

Janus thought back to the few times he and Logan had interacted, how stressed he seemed and how much the others ignored him. He remembered how often he would shut Logan up or even remove him from the discussion entirely. He really was a part of the problem, wasn’t he? If he hadn’t taken such efforts to hog the spotlight for himself, maybe Logan would have been heard more clearly.

“I’m sorry, Logan. Truly.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Maybe not fully, but I had a hand in this all the same. I pushed you off to the side and let the others overlook you when you actually were the most helpful one there. I should have made the others, made Thomas, pay more attention to you. You don’t deserve this.”

“Maybe I do. Maybe it’s something I’m doing wrong. I know everyone else can get his attention easily, so it has to be a failure on my part.”

“Now that’s just not true,” Janus added, passing the bottle back to him. “The others get his attention because they’re loud and dramatic. It’s hard to hear the weather alert on the news when there’s a storm howling outside. Just because you aren’t as obnoxious and over the top as them doesn’t mean you’re less than. If anything, I’d say it makes you better than them. You don’t resort to something so childish to be listened to.”

“Perhaps I should. It works for them, after all.”

“But is that how you want to be seen? Throwing a temper tantrum until all they hear is you screaming at them?”

“What other option do I have at this point? Everything else has failed.”

“Well, we can figure something out here. I can help to make him listen to you.”

Logan looked back up at him, skepticism shining in his hazy eyes. “And why would you offer to do that for me?”

“Because you’re an essential part of Thomas, and I admit I respect you a great deal.”

“Really? Even now, after you’ve seen me like this?”

Janus nodded, not trusting himself to not say anything too sentimental. Logan seemed to accept it as a viable response though, offering him a small smile before taking the bottle and finishing off the last of the wine in one final gulp.

“I should go to bed,” he mumbled, words slurring over again. “So should you.”

“You’re the one who knocked on my door this late at night,” Janus joked.

“Right, sorry about that.”

“Never apologize for coming to me, especially for something like this.”

Logan looked confused. “Requesting alcohol?”

“Needing someone to talk to.”

“… oh.”

The two sat together in silence for a moment, neither of them capable of finding something to say. Eventually Logan stood up from his chair again, albeit shakily, as he prepared to return to his room for the night. Janus watched as he tried and failed to walk on his own, before making up his mind with a sigh and gently grabbing hold of his arm.

“Janus, what- “

“You’re not making it to your room like this, not on your own anyway. I could walk you back if you want, but that’ll run the risk of someone seeing me escorting you out of my room in the middle of the night while you can barely stand. I think even in this state you can imagine how that would look to anyone.”

Logan nodded in agreement, head lolling about on his shoulders. “What do you suggest, then?”

“Well, I’m not exactly against the idea of you staying the night.” Janus felt himself blush as the implications of the idea came to mind. “I mean, only if you want to. Nothing is going to come of it and it doesn’t have to mean anything, it would just make sense for you to have somewhere to rest for the night without anything happening.”

Logan stared back at him, swaying lightly in his hold, before sighing. “I suppose so. If anything, the company might be nice. As long as you promise nothing will come of this. I doubt I’m in any state to start something like that right now.”

“Something like what?”

Logan didn’t respond, only flushing a beet red that definitely wasn’t from the wine.

Janus chuckled softly at the sight, greatly enjoying seeing Logan so open and emotional. He’d never had the chance to see him like this, and it was quite a sight.

He gently guided him back to the bed, changing them both into pajamas with a snap of his fingers. Logan sat down with a huff, leaning back towards the headrest as Janus crawled into the bed beside him. It took a few minutes of awkward maneuvering, but Logan eventually managed to slip beneath the covers, wasting no time in cozying up to Janus.

Janus froze, not quite sure what to do or how to react, but as he felt Logan's body heat washing over him and his arms wrapping tightly around him he found he didn’t quite care. If Logan needed this from him, who would he be to deny it?

“Pretty.”

“What was that?”

“Your scales,” Logan explained, looking up at him. “They’re pretty.”

As if to further prove his point, he reached up and let his hand drift slowly across the left side of his face, gently caressing the scales there.

“They’re smooth too. I like them.”

Now it was Janus’ turn to blush, sputtering out some vague semblance of a thank you before turning on his side, ensuring Logan couldn’t see his rapidly reddening face. The change in position also prevented Logan from further touching his scales, and Janus tried to pretend he wasn’t bereft of the experience. Not many people complimented him on his scales, and he had never let anyone go so far as to touch them before, but feeling Logan's skin softly against them felt pleasant in a way he couldn’t describe, much less address.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” Logan said from somewhere behind him, voice tinged with regret.

“You didn’t, it’s just… sensitive, is all,” he lied. Mostly.

“Ah. Apologies.”

“It’s no problem. Goodnight.”

“… goodnight, then.”

Logan didn’t try to hold him again, and Janus tried not to think about how much he wanted him to.

“… Janus?”

Logan's voice echoed in Janus’ ear, pulling him out from the depths of sleep. He blinked his sleep-crusted eyes open groggily, groaning at the brightness of the light seeping in through the curtains.

 Turning his head with an aching stiffness in his neck, he found himself face to face with a very flustered Logan. A Logan that was currently wrapped tightly in his arms.

“What happened last night?” he asked him, eyes wide.

Shit. What did happen last night? He was getting ready for bed, then Logan showed up asking for a drink, then…

Ah. Right. That.

“Don’t you remember?” Janus asked, letting a playful smirk make its way across his face. May as well have some fun with this for a moment, after all. “It was definitely an eventful night we had, I’m sure at least some part of it is still fresh in your mind.”

Logan opened his mouth like he was about to say something only to close it again as he wriggled free from where he and Janus had evidently tangled together in the night. He sat up in bed, pulling the blankets up to his chest even though he was wearing a shirt and Janus fought back the urge to laugh. He was surprisingly cute all flustered like this.

“Look, whatever happened between us last night, it didn’t, alright? It didn’t mean anything, and it won’t happen again, so just please leave it alone.”

“Leave which part of it alone? The part where you all but fell into my arms in a drunken stupor, or the part where you let yourself be even more open and emotionally vulnerable than you might even be with yourself?”

“All of it, ideally. Especially the part where we woke up like… this.”

Janus arched an eyebrow. “Is that what you think happened? Some drunken one-night stand fueled by alcohol and repressed feelings?”

Logan squirmed under the teasing scrutiny. “… is that not what happened?”

Janus couldn’t stop himself from smiling. “Not at all. We drank, we talked, and when you could hardly stand let alone walk to your room, I offered you my bed. Nothing else happened between us last night, at least, not like that.”

Some of the tension left Logan at that. “So you’re saying we didn’t… “

“Nope. I may be a horrible person, but I would never take advantage of you like that.”

“… oh. Well, that’s good to hear, I suppose. What did we talk about, exactly?”

Janus felt his smile slip, quickly replaced with a sympathetic look. “We talked about why you were drunk, and why you drink like this so much.”

Logan looked away, the tension from before returning. “I talked about that?”

“Seems like you needed to talk about it. You’ve been dealing with all of that for a while now by the looks of things.”

Logan cringed to himself, still not looking at Janus. “Right. I didn’t mean to bring that up with you. Whatever it is we discussed, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone else.”

“I don’t plan on anyone else knowing, as long as you’ll do something for me.” he said, letting a trace of mischief slip through his voice.

“What is it you want from me now?” Logan asked, tone thick with skepticism.

Janus sat up in his bed, ensuring he was looking Logan head on and that he was looking back at him. He held his gaze, face slack but somber.

“Next time you want to drink, come to me. I’d rather you talk to me about whatever’s bothering you than have you drown yourself in wine again. I swear nothing you say will go beyond this room, but please just go to me instead of the wine.”

Logan fixed him with a deadpan stare. “That’s a bit hypocritical of you, isn’t it? Last I checked, you’re just as inclined to get inebriated if not more so.”

“That’s fair,” he chuckled. “But I drink for fun, not to forget about my problems.”

“… touché.”

Logan gave him a small smile, one that Janus returned.

“I didn’t make a fool of myself, did I?” he eventually asked.

“Not too much, though you were awfully affectionate near the end.”

Logan flushed. “Affectionate?”

“Just a little. You… may have complimented me. You said you liked my scales.”

“Oh. I didn’t mean to- “

“Make me uncomfortable?” Janus teased. “You said the same thing last night. Don’t worry, I don’t mind. It was honestly rather sweet of you to say.”

Logan blushed and looked away again, and Janus let him. It meant he wouldn’t see the blush steadily creeping on his own face.

“I should get dressed, I have work to do.”

“Of course, I should get started on a few things myself.”

Logan quickly shuffled out of bed, Janus doing the same. With a wave of the hand, they were both changed back to their usual garb, and remaining equally flustered.

“I’m going to my room now,” Logan mumbled, still avoiding Janus’ gaze.

“Right, you do that. I’ll talk to you later then.”

Logan gave him a curt nod before walking out the door, closing it softly behind himself. Janus let out a breath, running a hand over his face. Wow, that was awkward.

At least he managed to get a little closer to Logan, right?

If only he knew how to proceed after all of this.

@britt-ish123 @lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat @nico-the-overlord @can-i-take-a-stab @rougeside4 @keitaisghost @new-zee-land

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

A Much-Needed Hiatus

Hi hi! I really liked “Out of Commission” and was wondering if you’d consider writing another chapter for it! In my head it’d be very angsty at the beginning as the others have to come to terms with how their actions affect Roman (especially since Virgil and Patton don’t know yet) but ends with a fluffy cuddle pile and a promise of things getting better. Anyways, love your work and I hope you’re well! – anon

Read on Ao3 Part 1 Part 2

Warnings: self-doubt, self-esteem issues

Pairings: dlampr, can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 3704

Roman wakes up with a hand in his hair and his head pillowed in someone's lap. There's a soft voice murmuring to another soft voice and something quietly humming a few feet away. He mumbles something that's supposed to be a question and the hand stills, before moving to cup his cheek.

"Darling," he hears floating through the quiet haze, "darling, are you awake?"

Yes, he wants to mumble, but then there's another hand on his knee, toying very lightly with the seam of his pants, whispering how it's better to let him sleep, he must be so tired, and he suddenly feels a rush of fear at what being awake would mean.

If he's awake, the lap he's resting on might decide not to let him rest there anymore. If he's awake, the gentle hand on his cheek might decide to leave. If he's awake, he'll have to actually be a person and confront what the hell is going on and that—that might be the worst thing he's had to do in a long time.

Memories float back to him piece by piece. Of the meeting, of his hands aching and wanting to cut them off at the wrists, of afterwards and Logan finding him and everyone coming and being so, so, so scared and not being able to do anything other than lie there and cry, which wouldn't be good for him in any world because Logan already thinks that he's weak and pathetic and bad at being professional or at least good enough for the videos, and then having the most wonderful dream of coming back to awareness with Logan's voice all soft and sweet in his ears, with Janus sitting there too and telling him it's going to be alright, that everything would be alright, and—and—

"I think he's having a nightmare," comes the murmur of Janus's voice now, "shh, sweetie, it's okay, you're safe."

A quiet noise of concern that he only belatedly recognizes as Logan's as the hand on his cheek smooths down to cup his jaw, tilting his head to rest against his hip. "Don't fret, darling. Everything's alright."

"Is it—is it better to wake him up?"

"I'm not sure. I've never…I've never known of Roman's nightmares." Is he imagining it, or is there some genuine remorse in Logan's words? "I've half a mind to summon Remus just to ask, but…"

"I think he's still busy with Patton and Virgil." Janus's fingers smooth over his knee again. "Hush, sweetie, shh-shh-shh…nothing's so bad."

His chest is beginning to ache again. If he—if he wakes up now, what will happen? If he calls an end to this—will they leave him? Will he lose this? He can't remember the last time someone held him like this, showed him this much concern, will he…what will become of him if he lets himself ruin this?

"Roman? Roman, darling, can you hear me?"

Fuck. How is he supposed to ignore Logan when he sounds this plaintive?

"Open your eyes," Logan's coaxing now, fingertips tracing small circles near his temples, "please, little one, you're safe, take a look and see, come now."

He doesn't want to. He doesn't want to—what happens when he has to watch Logan's face slip back towards that cool neutrality? What happens when those warm hands leave him and he's left all cold and alone again? What happens when he has to keep moving even though all he wants to do is stay here, forever, in the quiet and the warmth and never, ever know what it means like to hurt again?

"Please, little one. Please, just—just open your eyes."

Roman is, at his core, a people-pleaser, and his eyes are opening before he registers what's happening. He's immediately greeted with a frowning Logan, a furrow between his brows and a tightness in his mouth that splits into a slow smile when he lets out a confused noise. Behind him, he sees Janus, lying down with Roman's legs outstretched over his lower chest, fingers still stroking absentminded patterns on his knee.

"There you are," Logan murmurs, drawing his attention back, "were you having a nightmare?"

"N-no."

"No? That's—well, that's a relief, to be sure, but then why—" he sighs— "I only mean to say you looked quite terrified, my darling. Did something scare you?"

This. This right now is scaring him. Because Logan doesn't talk to him like this. Logan doesn't look at him softly and touch him gently and worry about him being scared. Logan rolls his eyes and scoffs when Roman tries to bring up something that concerns him. Logan dismisses him and tells him he's being stupid. Logan—Logan—Logan doesn't do this, he doesn't do soft and gentle words and sweet murmurs and he's—at some point, he's going to remember that too.

"Sweetie," and no, Janus is sitting up and putting his hand more firmly on his knee— "sweetie, breathe."

Breathe? Why breathe? Roman's fine, he's breathing, his chest is doing the normal thing where it snaps around like a rubber band and his body feels like it's on fire and his hands are—oh.

"Look at me," Logan says sharply and Roman's eyes dart to him, "that's it, Roman. Focus on me. You are safe. I am not going to hurt you. Janus is not going to hurt you. If you need to be afraid, that's alright, but you do not have to be."

No. No, no, no, he can't panic around Logan, Virgil will get summoned and then everyone will come—and then—and then—

Of course, part of his brain thrills at the delicious irony of panicking over the need not to panic. The rest of him is building the storm in his chest higher and higher and higher until everything is interrupted by something terribly soft pressing against his cheek.

"Shh," Logan whispers, breath brushing delicately over his ear, "shh, little one, you're alright. You're okay. Everything is okay."

"I think you broke him," he hears Janus murmur with nothing but gentle affection, "oh, sweetie…you're still so scared, aren't you? What's terrifying you so?"

"Yes, now is a good time to ask him," Logan says wryly, "while he's still coming out of having a panic attack."

Still, when there's a gentle hand on the underside of his neck coaxing him upwards so he can sniffle into a tissue, Janus's hands are running soothingly up and down his legs like he's trying to calm a skittish horse and Logan doesn't even let him apologize for being a mess. Instead, he's shushed with another kiss to his cheek—and when the hell did that start happening regularly?—and coaxed into leaning against Logan's shoulder. Only then does he realize they're in Janus's room, curled up against the headboard with one of the thick comforters laid over them.

"Wait—how'd—I thought—weren't we in my room?"

"We were," Logan says softly, "and then you started to get cold and we couldn't get you warm, so we moved you in here."

"I was cold?"

"Yes, little one. I intended to ask you about it when you woke up, but it seems there are other things that take precedence right now. First and foremost: are you alright?"

"I'm—I'm not sure." He tries to move his hands and winces, only for Janus to take each between two of his own and begin to massage his palms. "It's—it hurts still."

"Does this hurt?"

"N-not really." Janus brushes his lips against each set of knuckles with a soft smile. "What's—how long has it been since the m-meeting?"

"A few hours. You've been drifting in and out for a while. I'm not sure how much of that you remember."

"What's the last thing you remember, sweetie?"

"B-being on the couch. You—did you pick me up?"

"Yes," Logan chuckles, "yes, I did. You look so surprised, darling, what's the matter?"

"Logan," Janus scolds when Roman's only able to splutter, "you're being mean to our poor prince. How do you expect him to answer when he's all flustered like that?"

"I don't know what it is I'm doing that's making him blush so hard."

"You're making him admit that your strength flusters him, what about that isn't blush inducing? Oh, I know, sweetie, now I'm doing it too," he murmurs, giving his hands a squeeze, "shh, shh, let's all…let's all just take a moment, okay?"

"What's going on," he whines, before he can remember that behaving anything less than perfectly in front of these two is a bad idea, "I don't—I don't understand what's happening!"

"You're here, in Janus's room, sitting on my lap with your legs in Janus's," Logan says immediately in that low, soothing voice that makes Roman want to cry all over again, "you've just come off of a panic attack in the wake of…quite a severe attack from a meeting. I am—that is, we are currently attempting to offer you comfort. I'm growing less certain that we are performing adequately in service of that goal, and as such, I'm going to switch tactics."

Before he can ask what that means, Logan's hand cups the back of his head and pulls him in close. Lips brush his forehead and his breath warms the side of his face.

"Hello, little one," Logan whispers, "it's good to see you awake. Are you still in pain?"

"Y-yeah, a little."

"Is there anything we can do?"

"Not really."

"Alright. I am more than happy to stay with you until you feel better, if that's alright with you?"

"W-why?" No sooner has he asked does the panic spike in his chest but Logan's hand cards through the hair at the base of his skull and he hates how much it settles him instantly. "S-sorry."

"You don't need to apologize, darling, it's all okay. I've recently learned that I've played a big role in making you feel unsafe, and I'm…hoping to rectify that."

"As am I." He'd almost forgotten Janus was still here. He looks over to see his concerned expression, hands still wrapped around his. "You've been alone for a long time, sweetie, and I'm sorry that I've played a part in making you feel like you had to be."

There's a lump in his throat that won't go away. There's a pit in his stomach that's growing wider and wider and wider. There's a voice in his chest whispering nothing lasts forever.

"Talk to me," Logan murmurs when he's quiet for a little too long, "what's going on?"

"I don't understand."

"Understand what, little one?"

"You…you were…you both—I—I'm—"

No, bad, shut up, wrong, be passive.

"That is more than enough out of you," Janus growls. Roman flinches and Logan opens his mouth to scold him only for Janus to reach out and pluck something invisible from the air in front of his chest. He draws it back, a scintillating, glistening line following the movement until he balls it up and flicks it into nothingness. "I've little patience for such lies in my room."

His expression softens when he notices the way Roman's staring at him.

"What is it, sweetie?"

"Y-you—how did you do that?"

"They're lies, sweetie, that's all it is. You don't need to be quiet, you're not wrong, and you definitely don't need to listen to that poisonous little monster masquerading as the voice of reason."

"No, it's not."

"What do you mean?"

"It's not a lie. It's—I have to. Because if I'm not, then you all yell at me or tell me I'm an idiot and then everything's worse," he mutters, "and my hands stop working and then I can't do anything and everything's cold—"

"Shh," Logan murmurs, adjusting the blanket almost unconsciously, "easy, my darling."

"—and it's your fault," he spits, "and I can't—you know what it does to me, you do, because you do it on purpose and I can't stop it and that's not my fault!"

He's panting by the end of it. Logan and Janus don't say a word for a long moment. Then, Logan lets out a breath that shudders across his temple and he leans down to press their foreheads together.

"You're right," he says quietly, "of course you're right, Roman. You're not to blame for something you can't control."

"Why do you hurt me? What did I do so wrong that you decided you'd just hurt me for it?"

"Because you were good at it." Both of them turn to look at Janus, who winces but doesn't take it back. "You were good at getting hurt, Roman. You would—you wouldn't snap back, you wouldn't let it show, you would…you would just take it. And that doesn't make it right—it makes it worse, I know, but that's…that's why it was easier. To hurt you."

It stings. No, it doesn't, it aches. It reaches deep into his chest and finds that part of him he tries so hard to keep buried beneath every single part of his fake princely persona. It hurts because it means that they knew at some level how much this was doing to him, and they didn't care because it was easy. Even if Janus knew more than Logan did, Logan's been really quiet ever since Janus started talking and he's—he's still not denying it, which means Logan knew enough too—

"I didn't know how badly you were hurting," Logan says, "I knew—I knew it made you upset. But I swear to you, Roman, I didn't know how bad it was."

"J-Janus?"

"He's not lying, sweetie. I'm…I will take the lion's share of the blame for using what I knew against you, but—" and here his voice grows firm once more— "I will not be held responsible for making it so you were so unaccustomed to any sort of positive attention that you leapt at the first person who offered it to you."

Logan flinches as though he's been struck. "No, that…that fault I believe lies more completely with me."

"I thought you hated me."

"I don't hate you, little one," Logan promises. "I thought—there is no point in attempting to justify myself now. I don't hate you. You don't deserve to be hurt just because I'm too careless or inconsiderate. It's not your fault."

"Why now," Roman says, making a fist but unable to do anything more than that, "why are you being like this now?"

"Because now I've seen how awful it is for you and I never want to play a part in making things get so bad for you ever again." The conviction in his voice makes Roman shudder from the rush of warmth. "I've gone far too long being nothing but your tormentor, if Remus and Janus are to be believed, and I'm not interested in doing that any longer."

"O-oh."

"He's telling the truth," Janus whispers as tears slip like razor blades down his cheeks, "oh, sweetie…"

"Come here," Logan whispers, drawing him into a proper cuddle, "that's it, let me…let me hold you for a little while."

***

"I didn't know," Patton whispers, still staring into nothingness as Remus's absolute tirade comes to an end, "I didn't know."

"Oh, fuck," Virgil's still mumbling—and it says something, doesn't it, that Patton isn't calling him out on his language— "we—we fucked up so bad."

"You did," says Remus, remorseless, "and now you're going to fix it."

"How?" Patton stares up at him with wide eyes. "How do we—if we've messed things up this badly, how—how do we ever hope to fix it?"

Some part of Remus softens the barest amount when he hears the sheer hopelessness in Patton's voice. He sits on the floor, setting his Morningstar next to him, and steeples his fingers. "Roman, for better or for worse, cares an awful lot about you. That will make it easier for him to forgive you, but then you have to actually put in the work to be better."

Patton sniffles. Virgil puts a hand briefly on his shoulder before looking at Remus again. "We don't—how do we do that?"

"You of all people don't get to ask me that, Emo. You've already done your whole little redemption arc, haven't you? To fit in with the Light Sides?" He flinches slightly at how cold Remus sounds when he says that. "Surely you can find it in you to put a little more effort into treating Roman better."

"That's not what I—I know, I know, I'm gonna, I just—I don't know where to start."

Remus's expression darkens again. "Seriously? We just spent how long talking about how much you've fucked up Roman by making him feel unsafe and now you're telling me you don't know where to start?"

"I'm gonna apologize, obviously, but I mean—I don't—"

"We'll ask him," Patton says quickly when Virgil starts to tug at the strings of his hoodie, "when he's—if he's okay with it, we'll ask him what we can do."

"And if he says no?"

"W-well, at some point, maybe he'll be okay to—"

"And what're you gonna do until then, nothing?"

"N-no, we'll—" Patton swallows— "I'm gonna try and be better about making Roman know that he can—by making it clear that I wanna hear what he has to say and that it's worth hearing. I'm not—that's really where I messed up."

Remus nods and turns his glare to Virgil. Virgil shuffles. "I'm…I'm not gonna insult him so much and try and stick up for him when there are—when things get said that are unfair."

"See? You do have some idea of how much you've fucked up and how to fix it." Remus gets to his feet, dusting himself off. "Now, if anything like this ever happens again, I'm going to run an experiment with how much Kraken strength affects the resilience of a Side, are we clear?"

Both Virgil and Patton nod frantically as Remus sinks out, presumably to go and check on his brother. It takes a few more moments of tense silence for Patton to sniffle again and Virgil to lean against his side.

"I didn't know," he whimpers, holding a hand over his mouth, "I thought—I thought Roman was—"

"Stronger?" Virgil winces at how awful it sounds to say out loud. "I know. Me too, but I guess I didn't—I didn't really think about how fucked up that is."

Patton wipes a hand under his nose. "I really didn't know that Roman could get hurt by just what we said."

"I mean it makes a lot of sense now that Remus has said it, you know? He's the Ego. He gets bruised. He needs—he needs positive stuff way more than the rest of us do."

"I never thought of it that way."

"Neither did I."

"Are we—" he sniffles again— "are we ever gonna be okay again, Virgil? Like—are we ever gonna be able to do dinners and movie nights and everything? Or is it…"

The is it all gone goes unspoken but echoes about the room anyway.

"I don't know," is what Virgil eventually settles on, "I just don't know, Pat. I think…I think that's not up to us right now. I think we gotta let Roman set the pace on how things go for a little while."

"I can do that."

"And that means if he doesn't wanna talk to anyone except Remus for a long time, then…then we just gotta deal with that."

"I know," even as he says it like he's just been told his favorite show is being canceled, "that's fair."

"And if he decides that it…" and here Virgil has to take a deep, steadying breath, "…if he decides that he doesn't want things to be better, if he decides that it's not—that it's not ever gonna be better…"

"Then we'll have to deal with that too."

More silence. The fridge buzzes. Someone outside honks their horn and drives off.

"Do you think this is how Roman feels," Virgil asks eventually, "when he's…upset?"

Patton takes a long time to reply. When he does, it's with the slow and solemn voice of someone who has just learned that everything they thought they knew was a terrible, horrible lie.

"I don't think I've known how Roman feels for quite a while now."

***

They don't make any videos for a while.

They don't have meetings. They don't really eat dinner together. There are no movie nights.

Roman stays in his room, or in the Imagination. Remus is with him more often than not. Occasionally, he'll allow Janus to come with, but he never stays for long and he never says anything about what's happening when the others ask him. Even Logan, who notoriously chases down every clue or lead he can find, stays resolutely quiet about what goes on without him.

It's a sobering reality, life without a prince.

***

Roman curls up on the couch with his head in Remus's lap. They're watching something about penguins. Patton sits on the floor near his arm, playing with his hand in his lap. Virgil perches on the back of the couch, his feet tucked securely under Roman's side. At the other end of the couch, Janus has his feet in his lap, one hand wrapped around his ankle. Logan sits on Remus's other side, his hand tangled in Roman's hair.

It's an occasion that's quite far off, still, but it is coming. Slowly, but surely, as they work towards it. Past the somewhat awkward dinners, past the difficult conversations, past the sleepless nights where all Roman wants to do is stay there forever, because it's less scary that what awaits him in the morning. It's a long and hard road, but they're all walking it together, moving steadily towards this moment here, in front of the TV, cuddled together around their prince.

Nothing lasts forever, not even the worst of times, and more good times are always around the corner.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl@raven1508

[slytherin-ghost]

Hello would you mind writing a story on how the sides would react to a reader coming out as nonbinary to them (platonic or romantic)

Thank You,

Led

Hi, Instead of a story I made headcannons for each side.

Sanders Sides x Platonic! gn reader

Trigger Warnings: two mentions of being misgendered

LOGAN

Coming out to Logan would be easy

"Nonbinary? So you would use They/Them pronouns correct?"

Is very helpful at explaining what pronouns to use/ educating people on the topic

Definitely the type of person read everything they can find on the topic

"Logan what are you doing?" "Reading about being nonbinary, so I can help others understand it when you come out to them."

ROMAN

He would be so supportive

Buys a bunch of nonbinary pride things

"I got this nonbinary flag for your room!"

Will murder anyone if they disrespect your pronouns

"Y/N is nonbinary so it will be great if you would respect their pronouns."

Roman would be the one to go to if your feeling sad about others not being nice or respectful to you

PATTON

This man will squeal because he's happy for you

Is literally your #1 comfort person

As soon as he knows he'll start making nonbinary dad jokes

Will 100% try to throw a coming out party for you

Overall, is a supportive person and will 100% help you with anything you need

VIRGIL

He would be so supportive

Like the others sides would think he wouldn't care

No, he is so happy that you came out

" Good for you!"

He would be nervous about accidentally calling you the wrong name or saying the wrong pronouns

If he accidentally ever did misgender you. He would lock himself in his room.

JANUS

For once he would be truthful with you when you came out

I feel like besides Logan he would be one of the most understanding of the sides

He would never stop supporting you

Asks how you have been since you came out

REMUS

Is also supportive

He 100% comes up with dirty nonbinary jokes

He is not trying to be offensive with them it's just Remus being Remus

Like Roman, Remus goes all out when it comes to pride parades

[tacom-literatureu-blog]

Ive been following tacom since the 2nd book and i gotta say i LOVE how u write love, its so soul touching how you write heartbreak, free love and domestic love. You make the feelings so complicated i love it <3

What was your favorite book to write?

Oh my gosh. First of all, thank you so so much much. I love putting raw emotions into my fics, especially feelings of love. Love can be the most amazing thing ever, in all its forms, but it can also be messy, and I love showing that. I ESPECIALLY love writing love growing and changing, like what's happening with Bee Duo right now. Their love is becoming more mature, just like them! Outside of romantic love though, familial love is my favorite to write. I grew up in a not so nice household, so it's healing for characters like Michael and Llulah to be shown with parents who are trying their best.

And looking back, Mamma Mia will always have a special place in my heart. Though re-reading it is a little difficult because I hadn't quite grasped my style yet- especially my signature double spacing of paragraphs so it's easier to read for folks like me- I loved rewriting a story I loved, with characters I loved. There was so much more I wanted to add, but at the time, I was afraid to deviate too far from canon, and yet what I made I think was really beautiful!

Thank you so much for this ask! I'm happy you've been reading so long, and if you ever have anymore questions, I'm always here!- Patton

[not-sure-what-im-feeling]

Analogical? 👀

“Just fine.”

Combined all of these! Here’s my writing, and it’s some Logan just in time for world teachers day!! Y’all get to decide if it’s platonic or romantic, I just had fun writing it <3

Ended up writing 1,197 words and I’m rather proud of that

Uhh as for warnings, crying and Logan repressing his feelings? I’m not great with warnings apologies.

Read on ao3:

Logan took a small, shaky breath. He was fine, after all. Perfectly fine. He was Logic. No room for all those icky feelings for him. They would just get in the way. Thank goodness he didn’t have any. That would be a disaster.

Logan didn’t feel anything. Of course he didn’t. And that was why everyone was able to nag and tease and remark constantly about every little thing. He was Logic. How could you hurt the feelings of someone who had none? Logan was the most unfeeling of them all—he just had to remind himself of that.

He was Logic. Stoic, precise, perfect. Not a mistake to be made. The chances of him making a mistake were infinitesimal. That being said, the smallest chance is still a chance. But did they really need to dwell on his mistakes so much? As if he hadn’t already? There is no room for error in a machine built on logic, but, sadly, Logan was not a machine.

So Logan stood there, beside the stairwell, lips pursed tight together, breaths shaky, and eyes glistening with the ever so slight glimmer of what might be tears—not that Logan would cry. He loosened his tie a bit, noticing the way the air in the room felt heavier, and the way everything seemed so distant, yet the muffled voices of the others were so incredibly loud, he noticed the unfocusing of his eyes. He noticed so terribly much, and yet he couldn’t think of a single thing to do. The computer’s processing unit seemed all jammed up.

The voices of the others were heard, yes, but not understood. However, when he heard his name a couple times, Logan took that to mean it was time to register what they were saying.

“Logan?” Patton’s voice rang out, “Logan, are you alright?”

Logan shook himself ever so slightly, and then responded. “Yes, yes, completely fine. Thank you, Patton.”

“Are you sure about that? Because for the last minute or so you’ve been completely unresponsive.” Virgil then said.

Logan paused. “I’m fine. Let’s just get back to work. I’d rather not talk about all… this.”

Patton began to say something, but Virgil cut him off. “You know what, Logan? I think you need to take a break. Go to your room, have a nap, read a book, whatever, but you clearly aren’t okay. And that’s combing from me.”

"Virgil. I do not need to stop. I need to help Thomas. I'll be fine. I am fine." Logan was adamant, but Virgil was stubborn too.

Still, Logan clearly didn't want to be seen as anything near emotional. His hands shook with a slight sense of feeling, but he clasped them together in an effort to hide that.

"Please, Lo, just take a break?" Virgil's voice got softer. It was still stubborn and pushy, but much more gentle and more of a request. "We both know it'll help you. Ignoring yourself will only hurt Thomas."

Patton and Roman just watched the odd "fight" play out before them, Thomas a bit more confused in the middle of it all.

"...Fine. I'll sit the rest of this episode out. You guys certainly have made it clear you're just fine without me." Logan said, then, without any other goodbyes, he sunk out.

"Well, he couldn't have left a substitute?" Roman said, though his face all but matched the joking tone of voice he used.

"Can't you just shut up? I know you can't do this, but have you ever thought of thinking of others, Roman?" Virgil snapped.

"Uh, guys, can you not fight?" Thomas asked.

"Yeah, kiddos, that won't help anything." Patton agreed.

Both Virgil and Roman huffed a "fine", as the four left in the room continued on without Logan.

Logan, however, went to his room without much adieu. He sat, angry and hurt and uncomfortable and with more emotions than he knew how to deal with, in the chair at his desk, looking at the sheets of planning on how he could help. Not that any of them would see the light they deserved. Thomas never followed through with the plans he made. The others wouldn’t listen.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, at his desk, trying to keep the emotions from rising to the surface. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, crying quietly, as he tried to stifle the noises he was making. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, sobbing, with no regard to the gasping hiccupy breaths he took shook with emotion. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, before he was half pulled from his tears, glasses off his face, by a knock at his door. And he wasn’t sure how long he sat there, uncertain what to do, before his voice cracked as he said “Enter”.

The door opened, and Virgil walked in slowly, as if approaching a timid animal caught in a trap. Logan futilely attempted to wipe the tears from his face as the light and Virgil came into his room. He straightened his back, folded his hands in his lap, and tried so hard to be as stoic as possible. It didn’t last long. He shook, before the illusion shattered and the mask dropped, revealing the pain Logan was feeling.

Virgil walked over, pulling the spare stool Logan had tucked into a corner out and sat down. “Logan? I know you aren’t alright. You don’t need to hide it.” Virgil said, before adding what he thought Logan would say. “You shouldn’t repress things after all.”

Logan didn’t answer, didn’t even look at Virgil, but he did nod in agreement. “Of course I shouldn’t,” he mumbled, “But showing little emotion and repression are different, Virgil.”

Virgil huffed, but sighed after a moment and spoke again. “Logan… we care about you. I care about you. I just want to make sure that if I can help you, you’ll let me. Now. How could I help you?” It was a question, but even with Virgil’s comforting tone, it was persistent and stubborn—something Logan respected.

Logan paused. He wiped away the tears better, and cleaned his glasses before responding.

“Well, if it’s all the same to you, I’m not sure. I’m not the one who usually asks for help.” He said, before adding under his breath: “Not that I need help.”

“Alright… we could start with talking about it. What do you say?” Virgil said, and Logan finally looked up. Virgil looked so warm and inviting, and Logan felt, for the first time in a while, like he was safe. Safe in a way he couldn’t exactly explain. He didn’t often feel endangered, but this was a place—a person—that he could trust with anything he needed to say.

Logan nodded, and Virgil stood, reaching out his hand for Logan to take. Logan took it in his hand, standing up with the other, before they pulled each other into an embrace of hope and security. When they pulled away from each other, Virgil pulled off his hoodie, wrapping it on Logan.

Logan, with red eyes and a hoarse voice from his sobs, said, “Let’s talk.”

[livvyofthelake]

movie may 2024 ranked!

23. always a bridesmaid. i apologize to yvette nicole brown and i want to clarify that i DO support women writing mediocre movies. but i must be real i watched this for jordan calloway. and i didn’t care for him in this. he was a lovely character i’m sure it was huge for someone’s mom idk. not my buddy jake though! nothing more to be said frankly

22. the idea of you. bad! anne hathaway what do they have on you that got you to be in this…. prince sad eyes addicted to being in musical adjacent movies with bad soundtracks that no one has ever cared about listening to!!

21. the other zoey. mid… which was so disappointing because all three main guys are actors i enjoy… archie renaux someday they’ll let you be a real romantic lead but for now i LOVED you in shadow and bone season 2 episode whatever. literally you’re my flag alina you’re my nation. lol! josephine langford someday we’ll get you in a period drama queen and you’re gonna eat it up. your time is coming! drew starkey maybe someday they’ll let you be in something that is good <3 i believe in you!

20. thanksgiving. fun! and yet ranks low because well i haven’t thought about it since i saw it. not really much to say! addison rae served cunt and should have lezzed out with the final girl!

19. after everything. somehow not the worst after movie…? crazy i know. do NOT get it twisted it was still bad. it’s after 5… but idk. it’s after 5 i’ve been watching these freaks for five movies i was invested i cared i wanted them to live happily ever after forever… love won!

18. life partners. it was good but i could not get over that i hated the boyfriend so so so bad. i wanted jakey to dieeee fr. yeah he was fine. sure. whatever. as if this is even about him omg

17. dungeons and dragons: honor among thieves. too long frankly! but we had fun! and genya was there :)

16. plan b. my favorite part of this movie is that in the beginning when i first saw the best friend character i was like oh cute she has a gay girl best friend :) and then they started using he/him pronouns for her long distance relationship and i was so shocked and disappointed i didn’t even know what to think. and then they got to the long distance relationship’s band performance and it clicked to me that it was supposed to be a Narrative Twist that she was gay… and i was like ohhhhh haha YES! that was awesome lowkey. and the rest of the movie was nice as well <3

15. strawberry mansion. weird ass movie fr… fucked with it heavily! had me staring at the tv completely enraptured that was crazy. don’t have much to say other than that the experience of watching it was fun to ME. i was also very sick that day so take what i say with a grain of salt maybe? idk. probably won’t watch it again but it was nice!

14. música. well first of all they’re going in the timeless video 2.0 but let’s not even get into that because it doesn’t matter. anyway camila mendes we loveeeee you being booked and busy post riverdale <3 yess girl be in movies!!! um she is not the main character and this movie is not about her i just really like camila mendes!

13. asteroid city. kind of an odd one! loved the wes anderson rpf implications this narrative had! also really enjoyed that little alien freak!

12. the hunger games: the ballad of songbirds and snakes. and this was a rewatch but it counts because i said so. watched it with my parents this time who did NOT get it as well as they could have. which is what brings such a beloved movie to me down to number 12, THEY are the ones who dampened the experience NOT the movie!

11. buffaloed. what if there was a woman played by zoey deutch who sucked sooo bad. yay! when she’s literally a bad person who scammed people for money 😁

10. remember the titans. what if the most important thing on planet earth was FOOTBALL. and learning to not be racist. and denzel washington was there. and will patton was also there doing his adam parrish voice. i don’t mean to be hung up on that it’s just hard to ignore… i didn’t read those books i listened to will patton read them in his delicious south carolina drawl am i supposed to not recognize one of the distinct character voices he did consistently for four books get real. it was also an excellent movie <3 tee was there they can verify if you don’t believe me!!

9. anyone but you. what if we did much ado about nothing but hero and claudius were lesbians and beatrice was a modern day disaster woman and she’s suchhh a hater and so is benedick and they’re in true and beautiful love. also. and i will never be able to describe this scene in a way that will truly do it justice. when they were fake dating but needed to prove they were together and everyone went hiking. that was the funniest shit i ever saw in my lifeee it had me dying… also. the natasha bedingfield unwritten needle drop moments…. yesss bring back real cinema!!

8. crossroads. there’s just nothing like a shonda rhimes written feature…. she just gets it i fear. i wanted to hate jakey soo bad but alas he charmed me!! shonda your power!!! and britney got to sing and it was soooo fun <3

7. the birdcage. first of all cat grant was there everybody clap for her! secondly this is like a perfect comedy drama film… i could have broken my ribs from laughing so hard at this one i’m serious robin williams save meeeee…. it’s veryyy much a product of its time but i don’t think that’s a hindrance i think it’s beautiful <3 what if movies were made when they were made and we all loved that there’s added narrative context to it’s time!

6. the secret life of bees. i can’t get into it but let’s just all understand that this girl was huge. cried like a babyyyyy so bad. we literally love queen latifah she has never flopped. now if only people would tune in to that damn cbs and watch the equalizer…. (show my mom loves that i catch an episode of sometimes)

5. ever after. well i am a cinderella girl first and foremost. as i said on letterboxd you would genuinely have to do something vile and heinous to make me dislike a cinderella movie… i gave the camila cabello one five stars i LOVE cinderella… and i loved how in this one the prince’s name was henry yayy that happened to a buddy of mine! and i loved the whole look of the movie the costumes were slaying the production design was slaying drew barrymore’s shitty accent was slaying. just loved it…

4. the clique. they don’t even make movies like this anymore. because of Woke… the tweens yearn for problematic girl leads like claire and massie we need to give this back to them… i think everyone should watch this film i’m actually being so serious and real

3. city of bones. ok it’s cheating to put a rewatch so high on the list. don’t care! she’s my friend!!!!! it’s our ten year anniversary!!

2. mamma mia! here we go again. you might think that due to my hater moments when i started watching this movie i might not have liked it that much… and yet you’d be wrong the only reason i was initially disappointed was because i didn’t know what was going to happen and sophie and sky sang that breakup song and it made me so sad i had to stop watching. i literally love sophie and sky it was RUDE to do that to me… but anyway when i went back to finish the movie i realized it slayed sooo hard. and then at the end they all sang super trouper… yayyyyyy!!!!!!

1. damsel. i do not care if you thought this was bad. they made it for ME ok what everyone else thinks does not matter… it was for me the whole time don’t even worry about any of it. they put my girl millie bobby brown in a girlfantasy action flick… netflix stop making her be in stranger things and let her produce her fun little movies full time it’s so serious you can’t keep putting her back in the duffer brothers torture chamber…. millie we are getting you out of there!! i eagerly await the day you star in a feminist remake of the breakfast club or something or whatever. anyway. the winner of movie may because it made me really happy to watch :)

[nandysparadox]

hot chocolate and pinterest boards

Pairing: romantic royality; mentioned brotherly moxiety and creativitwins

Word count: 681

cw: just pure, tooth-rotting fluff😆

Summary: Roman gets a bit overwhelmed with all the wedding planning — good thing Patton's around to help

—

fic for day 1 of @royalityweek ! this year i wanted to do something for most days, and thankfully ive managed it :D all the fics and art i make for this week will be in the same verse as milkshakes and checkered diners, showing various moments in roman and patton's life — they won't be in chronological order, but ill arange it that way on ao3 when all of them are posted

prompt: celebration/invitation

“Oookay, I think it’s way too early for that much pacing, mister.”

“Hm?”

Roman looked up from his binder as if broken out of a trance and Patton had to stifle a chuckle. Ever since the proposal, Roman had been swept up in a whirlwind of vision boards, checklists, and everything else wedding planning — that morning had been no different.

Though judging by the wild look in his eyes and how he dug his nails into the leather-bound cover, Roman probably would’ve paced their carpet to the ground if Patton hadn’t stopped him.

“C’mon,” he took Roman’s arm and gently pulled him towards the couch, carefully balancing the mug in his other hand.

“Alright, honey,” he said as he handed the other a cup of hot chocolate. “How about we put the binder aside for a little bit and you tell me what’s got you so nervous, hm?”

Roman sighed and pushed his hair back.

“Well- I was looking through some venues I thought were absolutely gorgeous, but then I realized to book a venue you need to know the amount of guests so I started writing down the guest list. But it’s been a while since I’ve seen everyone, and you know my family’s big, so I had to start texting people and figuring out how to send out the invites, and then my brother texts me and asks if I need help with the wedding planning, and I love Remus, you know that, but I have to give him something to do that won’t turn out a complete disaster and—”

“Okay, I think I see what’s going on,” Patton cut Roman off, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I know you’re very excited about this, honey, but if you try to do everything at the same time you’ll tie yourself up in knots. You have a checklist, don’t you?”

Roman nodded, taking a sip of his drink.

“So let’s follow that, one thing at a time.” Patton smiled, opening the binder to the ‘to-do’ page and pointing to one of the first items. “Let me write down the guest list, with the addresses and everything, since that’s stressing you out. Then you can write and decorate the invites.”

“Are you sure?”

Patton chuckled, putting his hands on his hips.

“Honey, it’s my wedding too.”

“I guess so,” Roman rolled his eyes, though the sarcasm was broken by the snort that followed it. “…Sorry, darling, I really didn’t mean to exclude you, just— tunnel vision.”

“Don’t worry, I know how you get,” Patton teased, coming up to wrap his arms around Roman’s shoulders and nuzzle his cheek. “My beautiful fiancé with his head stuck in the clouds.”

In response, Roman stuck out his tongue adorably and Patton couldn’t resist pressing a kiss onto his hair.

“…And about Remus,” Patton said. “We could always send my brother to keep him on track. Should prevent any disasters.”

“If you think that’d prevent disasters you got another thing coming.”

“What? You think Virgil can’t handle wrangling your brother?”

Roman huffed.

“It’s not Remus I’m worried about.”

“…Is this about last halloween?”

“Your brother is a menace and you know it!”

He wasn't wrong, Patton had to admit that. When he and Roman started dating Virgil had, in true older brother fashion, antagonized Roman quite a bit, which ended up both parts sweet and infuriating. Though with time any animosity had morphed into his weird way of showing affection, which consisted mostly of texting Roman memes at 4 a.m, and making elaborate plans to scare the crap out of him.

So yeah, maybe Patton could see how setting him loose with chaos incarnate, Remus, might be a bad idea.

“… We’ll think about it. Now! How about you show me those pinterest boards you’ve got saved up?”

Roman smiled bright as day as he pulled up the pictures, and as he rambled about color schemes and decorations, all Patton could focus on was the radiant glow that shone through when Roman was in his element.

He really couldn’t wait to marry him.

—

AN: just for reference, this fic takes place about a year after patton has graduated from vet school, so about 6 and a 1/2-ish years after milkshakes and checkered diners

and if you're curious about the proposal, let's just say we'll see that ;)

[th15isn0th1ng]

R & P : 1

It wasn’t one at first! Mostly, at least.. He had weird dreams every so often- everyone did, really. But these were.. different?

It started off normally.. but sometimes one of the others would.. kiss him? It was casual, really. Like when one was leaving the room, or just as they were watching a movie, or they’d appear in entirely random spaces like in the ocean or a dog park..

Patton assumed it was just something silly- a what-if situation, something fun.. kissing didn’t have to be romantic, after all! He’s kissed the others before in a little less than conscious state before.. he just liked to show affection, was all.

But then the dreams started to just be kissing.. and it was a lot harder to justify why he was dreaming about making out kissing his friends.. a lot.

And then, it got even weirder. He started kissing people he wouldn’t even really think about kissing- most of the dreams had been Roman, and maybe Virgil a couple have times.. Logan felt too (for lack of better words) stand-offish and uncomfortable to kiss, and the others… well there’s a lot of reasons he wouldn’t kiss them..

But during the dreams, he was. And it was weird- and it made Patton feel weird.. And it only kept getting worse as hands got involved- with Janus of all people first, too! Considering the extra hands, it made sense, he figured, but.. it still felt weird.

It made Patton feel weird, and bad. But.. the dreams didn’t stop. They became more frequent.. and less platonic. It wasn’t something Patton could just brush away anymore- he started to avoid being alone with the others because of it.. which sucked, because he liked the others! But when you’ve dreamed about kissing a person way more often than they have (which is probably never) it starts to get really weird to face them..

This continued to culminate, and slowly bubble in the background. But with every repressed thing Patton has- which there are many- there comes a breaking point. A time where the pot boils over..

This day comes for this specific problem when Patton wakes up hard.

He doesn’t even notice at first- he’s too tired. He just wants to fall back asleep, to forget the feeling of hands in his hair (or truthfully, to get back to that feeling- but we’re still in repression, alright?). He nuzzles back into his pillow

And then he feels it.. undoubtedly stimulation. He immediately jolts up- which does him no good really, since it just makes his dick brush up against it more- as he begins to panic.

That’s not good. Not normal, either! Why was he hard?

It wasn’t morning wood, he never got morning wood. Like how Logan never got sick, some sides just didn’t have normal human things. And Patton’s was that he didn’t get like.. this, ever.

He tries to calm his breathing, to think properly- maybe he just got it now. Maybe it was just some weird thing where now he’s going through some second puberty and he gets random boners that are no big deal and not a sign of anything- right?

“Yeah.. no, no this is fine,” He said out loud, laughing slightly. This was fine, and it wasn’t weird. Because it was a normal boner- not an inappropriate one! Just the normal kind, the kind that’ll go away on its own..

Any previous clearance of his worries were immediately interrupted as he suddenly inhaled sharply, a jolt of something running throughout his body.

His body had been moving against the pillow he was still on. His body was still currently moving on the pillow he was on.

Patton felt like he was going to throw up.

He began panicking once again- not understanding how to stop himself- as if he wasn’t in control of his body anymore. It wasn’t large movements- he wasn’t some pervert- but it wasn’t exactly nothing either.. Which was bad. It was very bad, immoral, even.

This was bad. He was doing something bad right now… he grabbed the cross that he often kept tucked under his shirt, held onto it tight enough that the sharper edges dug into his skin slightly..

“Stop- please stop,” He mumbled to himself, closing his eyes as he clenched his teeth..

“..What’re you doing?” Asked a familiar voice, and Patton’s head snapped up, his body properly freezing this time.

“What?” His voice was quiet, suddenly scared and confused.

Remus was there, suddenly, sitting on the corner of his bed. He was just smiling, head tilted slightly.. It made his stomach twist, and his fight or flight instincts flare up.

“..Remus?”

Without any reason or warning, Remus was suddenly closer to Patton, and his smile turned into a grin- a smirk, even. He spoke quietly, but Patton felt as if he was yelling anyway,

“Patton…

Are you humping your own pillow right now?”

Patton felt his body drain of any color simultaneously with his face blushing brighter than it ever had before. He immediately moved back,

“N-No! ..No- why would I? That’s gross- Remus what are you doing here? Why would you say that- t-t-that’s wrong! You know that-“

Remus just nodded, smiling. Patton didn’t like that, and he swallowed uncomfortably. Remus didn’t agree with him, he was a weirdo, who tried to convince Patton that bad things were actually good.. They didn’t ever think the same thing.. so why was he now..?

“You’re right! It’s wrong.. which is why I'm wondering why you were doing it out of all people?”

“I wasn’t!” He exclaimed, closing his eyes in adamant refusal. It was just morning wood.. a normal thing, that didn’t involve him..

“Mmm.. Patton, Lying is a sin~” Remus said cheekily, his smile growing as he cut off Patton’s attempt to rationalize his actions in his mind. Patton inhales sharply.

“That- it’s- ..I-I didn’t mean to!”

Remus raised an eyebrow, clearly not believing him.

“Really..? Most people don’t accidentally hump things, Patton. You’re not a dog,”

Patton looked down, ashamed now. He gripped onto the cross harder.

“I’m- im not! I didn’t, it was an accident, really. I had a weird dream- and I woke up like this! I didn’t even notice- I didn’t feel anything,”

Remus twisted his head more, an over dramatic, disgusting sounding crack was heard as did.

“A dream? Like a perverted one-“

“No!” He replied too fast, entirely too guilty of what the dream was, what it could be considered.

“Really..? It was just a normal dream? What was it about, then?”

Patton gulped, sweating a little.

“I was just.. I was with a friend- we were hanging out, it was a boring dream..” He frowned at calling hanging out boring- it wasn’t, he enjoyed time with friends- but he needed any excuse he could think of.. Unfortunately for him, it was a bad excuse.. and another lie..

“Hanging out doing what..?”

“Puzzles.. and stuff”

Remus raised an eyebrow, clearly not believing him. He didn’t bother to reply this time, just created an image of hell to float next to him. The words “Liar’s Paradise” were written above it, just to be even more dramatic about it.. He was going to get a little bit of fun out of this, after all.

Patton closed his eyes again- fuck! Lying was bad- why did Remus suddenly care about lying?! He’s friends with Janus out of all people- what morality did he have in this?

“I- we.. It wasn’t.. We just.. kissed, and stuff. It was normal, friends can do that..” His voice got quieter the more he talked about it.. he was quickly becoming uncertain with the excuses he had solidified in his own brain as he had to explain them outloud.

“..Right, sure.. and you really just kissed..?”

Patton bit his lip- why did he have to go through this? Why did he keep asking questions- was he torturing him on purpose?!

…Probably.

“Well- I.. at.. at some point Logan got hot, so.. Uh,” He swallowed uncomfortably

“I helped take his tie off a little, and unbuttoned his shirt- b-because I was trying to help! I wanted to be a good friend, so.. I.. I did that,”

“Annddd….?” Remus circled his hand, as if he was trying to get Patton to hurry up already.

Patton gulped, and felt his face flush even more, somehow.. This was humiliating- and cruel! Why did he have to explain this- experiencing the dream was bad enough.

“I- W-Well I didn’t.. I didn’t do anything, uh.. but Logan- he.. uh, he started putting his hands up my shirt-“

“And you let him?” Remus asked, a little shocked. It was fake, played up just to rile Patton, but it was real enough for Patton to squeeze his cross again..

“I didn’t- it wasn’t me, it was a dream! I wasn’t thinking like myself,”

“Sure, but you thought of the dream, didn’t you?”

Patton gulped..

“You did.. and it’s not like this is the first dream like this that you’ve had, right?”

He didn’t answer. He looked anywhere but at Remus. Why did he know that? Why-

“And it’s not like the dream was going to end there, right? People don’t usually stop there..”

“I-Wh,” Patton stammered, appalled by what Remus was implying.

“N-No! No- im not.. weird. I wouldn’t have d-done anything else,”

“Really..?” Remus sounds unconvinced, an eyebrow raised.

“R-Really! I- ..It would have stopped.. O-or at most we.. we would have just kept kissing.. and.. and Logan would have kept uh.. touching my chest.. and s-stuff, and,” Patton felt his voice hitch in his throat, and he broke eye contact again..

Remus’ smile returned to his face, an evil, evil grin.. really.

“Patton,”

“…W-what..?”

“You’re humping your pillow again..”

Patton bit down on his lip, suppressing a pathetic wail that he would have left as he realized what he was doing.. again. He immediately shifted, moving off from the pillow entirely and sitting on his ass now,

“Fuc-udge.. I-I didn’t mean to do that- I wasn’t, I move on my own sometimes- it’s-“

“Hey,” Remus interrupted, moving closer to Patton again,

“It’s alright, Patton..”

Patton hesitates, clearly unsure on if he should believe him..

“…It is?”

Remus smiles, before abruptly palming Patton’s dick,

“Yeah, of course it is. I mean.. You can’t help being a pervert, can you?” He asked, tilting his head innocently.

Patton gasped, and shook his head,

“I-I’m not, I wasn’t being a p-pervert!”

“..Sure you weren’t.. You were just getting off to dreams about your friend touching you.. Totally normal thing to do.. Not weird at all, definitely not immoral in any way.”

Patton whined as Remus continued to touch him,

“N-no… no I wasn’t- I wasn’t getting off, I wouldn’t do that..” He tried to calm his breathing, holding onto his necklace with both hands now..

“Then why are you hard right now?”

“It was an accident- I just woke up like that,” He closed his eyes, trying to ignore everything going on right now.

“Really..? So none of this meant anything? You aren’t turned on right now- even a little bit..?”

Patton nodded, swallowing as he grinned his cross. “Y-Yes.. It was just.. an accident. I'm not… nothing going on.”

Remus hummed, and shrugged.

“Okay, then!” He said, immediately letting go of Patton’s dick, which prompted a whine from the other.

“Hey-“ Patton moved forward, speaking before he could properly realize that he shouldn’t be saying anything at all.. that he shouldn’t be moving.

“..Oh? Hmm, is something the matter Patton?” Remus was back near the edge of the bed again, casually looking at his nails as he spoke.

Patton was silent for a moment, maybe he.. shouldn’t answer. Maybe it was good- maybe Patton could just repent like normal and it would be fine, he would be able to be forgiven, eventually..

..But Patton was desperate right now.. A little too much to think rationally right now.

“… Why.. why did you stop..?”

“Stop what?”

Patton didn't answer this time.. He realized very quickly was asking for- and how awful that was.

“Surely you aren’t asking me to touch you again? Well- that would be horrible! Immortal, indecent.. perverted, even. You aren’t that, are you?” Remus continued, a smile spread across his face as he watched Patton’s own self image shatter in front of him.

Patton gulped, “N-no.. no I don’t want that, I don’t…”

He whined slightly as he trailed off, looking down at his dick in frustration. It was painfully hard, constrained under his pajama pants- he hasn’t felt like this since he was a stupid teenager! What the hell was wrong with him? A few stupid dreams and now he was like this..?

He couldn’t just.. fix this.. He had to do something about it.. right? That was normal- surely.. maybe not the dreams, but there wasn’t another way he could get rid of it so..

“…is it really that bad.. if I do..?” Patton whispered, trying really hard to not start forming tears in his eyes. He wasn’t a bad person.. he wasn’t..

“Patton, listen to me carefully…” Remus was suddenly tilting Patton’s head up, his hand on Patton’s dick as he straddled him. Patton’s eyes widened as he looked at him, his mouth slightly open as he searched for something to say..

“..Y-yes..?”

Remus leaned in, moving towards Patton’s ear with a smile.

“You’re absolutely disgusting for wanting this,” He said, in a more serious manner than anything else, and immediately groped Patton’s dick..

Patton fully whimpered, half from the sudden stimulation again, and half from what Remus just called him.

“Nh.. no- no, please,” Patton whined, trying to remove Remus from himself. He didn’t- he was supposed to be good, he was Thomas’ morality for gods sake. Why was this happening to him?

“No what.. are you telling me to stop? I’m not doing this for my own sake, you know.. it’s what you wanted,”

Patton felt his mouth go dry, and swallowed with no success.

“I don’t- this.. ha.. Remus,” He wriggled uncomfortably, this was bad, and wrong and he needed it to stop.

“I-I don’t want this,” he mumbled.

Remus frowned, slowing his movements deliberately.

“..Lying isn’t going to get you anywhere, Patton,”

“S-sorry..” he replied immediately, feeling even guiltier. Since when was Remus the one correcting Patton’s action..?

“I-..” He gulped,

“I don’t- I don’t want to want this.. ok?”

Remus titled his head innocently again, stopping his hand entirely now. “Want what? What is that you want, Patton? I can’t understand you if you’re vague. It’s as bad as dishonest.”

“..F-..for you to touch me,” he mumbled, like if he said it quietly enough then it wasn’t real- that didn’t count.

Remus still didn’t move, and Patton whined,

“My-.. I want you to touch my dick,”

Remus hummed approvingly, moving his hand into Patton’s pants and boxers, which he reacts to with a sharp inhale.

“Good.. at least you admit it,” He says, smiling as he takes Patton dick in his head, rubbing the pre-cum already leaking down it, which grants more whines from Patton.

“Remus, please-“

“Please what? Speak up..”

“M-Move.. move your hand, please,” His head falls down, gritting his teeth as he asks Remus something so.. awful.

He chuckles in response, “You really are perverted.. And so easily, too..”

Patton frowned, biting the inside of his cheek so hard he punctures it.. He deserved that.. he shouldn’t be doing this- shouldn’t have even said that, said any of what he’s said..

But Remus was moving his hand, and he was so close to him and Patton felt hot.

“S-sorry.. ha, im sorry- I can’t help it,” He mumbles, trying to stop himself from moaning.

“That’s not true.. You can, you just don’t want to, right?”

Patton just whined again in response, biting his lip again..

“Yeah.. you just like being a pervert, right? You didn’t even try to stop the dreams, or even get off the pillow… You’re kind of pathetic,”

Patton felt more tears roll down his face, and a wail escaping his mouth. He covered his eyes with his arm, trying to calm himself down.

“You can’t even control your voice. It’s like you’re a slut,”

Patton shook his head, “I-I’m not.. no.. I’m not, it.. just feels good, i'm not trying to- ngh.. im.. not doing it o-on purpose,” He pleaded, as if he was trying to prove himself.

He was good.. he was a good person. The cross felt hot in his hand, like it was burning him. Or maybe he just felt hot- he couldn’t tell.. everything was fuzzy.

“Mm… the more you deny it the worse off you are, Patton.” Remus replied, speaking in a sing-song voice. He slowed his hand again, and this time Patton pushed his hips into Remus hand..

“Sorry- I’m sorry! I- I don’t know why I did that”

“You did it because you’re dirty, That’s all.” Remus said, and it was almost reassuring.. weirdly. It was awful to hear, of course.. but it also felt like it solidified something.

“..Y-yes, ‘m sorry.. for being gross,” He mumbled.

“..That doesn’t make up for it.” He said, smiling as began stroking Patton again, who whined once more.

“W-why.. ha- why are you helping I-if it’s gross, then..? Why,” His hands felt sweaty.

“Oh.. me? I’m not doing anything. You told me not to stop, didn’t you?”

“..I did,”

“..Exactly. It’s you who got yourself in this situation, isn’t it? All because you couldn’t keep it in your pants.”

Patton felt embarrassment and shame fill his body.. He was right- He didn’t.. Remus didn’t even ask for this. He admitted everything, he even told him to.. to..

“I-..I am a pervert..” He mumbled, squeezing his eyes shut against his arm to try and prevent tears from coming out.. If doesn’t work.

Remus nodded, patting the back of Patton’s head comfortingly.

“You are.. a filthy little pervert, really. Having dreams about us- I bet you even had one about me, right?”

Patton breath hitched, “I-.. I wasn’t trying to- it was normal.. at first,” he retorted.

“Sure.. At first.. then what happened?” He asked, leaning closer to Patton..

“Uh.. I-“ He gulped, uncomfortable as he leaned back.

“You- d-dream you, anyway, uh.. kissed me.. randomly. And I kissed back.. and we did.. Ha.. W-we did that f-f-for a while.. mmh..” Patton moved his hand down, biting his knuckles to try and prevent himself from moaning.

“Keep going, Patton..” He whimpered in response, but removed his hand from his mouth.

“… Y-you asked.. f-for me to remove my shirt.. and I did. And.. y-you did too. And we.. we.. ha.. f-nnh.. we touched each others chests.. and.. uh, waists.. too- a-a little bit,” Patton’s mouth was open, fully panting as he recounted what he dreamt about..

“Mmhm.. Yeah… I bet you want to repeat that too.. don’t you?”

“W-what- Wait,” He couldn’t suppress his moan as Remus increased his pace.

“Right? I’ve been in front of you this entire time- haven’t I? I bet you’ve been trying hard not to stare- haven’t you? Trying to be a good little Christian boy, when we both know you’re a freak, hm?” Remus grins, grinding himself against Patton’s dick for a moment.

Patton moans louder this time, and has to bite his tongue for a moment. He sniffled, blinking away his tears.. When was remus shirtless..? Why- why was he also shirtless, He didn’t do that, right?

“R-Remus”

“You’re already staring? I was right, hm? You want to touch me, get your filthy hands on me, right? Corrupt me- like a sinner.”

Patton’s hips moved on their own as he let out another strained moan,

“Remus-“

“What? Go on.. say it. I’m not allowed to do anything unless you say it right? You have to admit how much of a pervert you are..”

Patton hesitates for a moment, and he covers his eyes again- forcing himself to not look at Remus.. It’s better if he doesn’t see him- see that he’s looking back at Patton.. that he can see how awful he’s was being right now.

“Ah.. R-Remus please.. please I want- ha.. let me touch you, please.. and k-kiss you, please.. I want you to do it too, please,” He whined as Remus squeezed his dick, unsure of what meant.

“God, you sound so filthy,” Remus said, unable to hide how pleased he sounded rather than disgusted like he was supposed to.

Not that it mattered to Patton, anyway. He felt wrong either way- the words were enough to make him choke as guilt piled up more and more..

He didn’t have much time to think about that though, because very suddenly and without really warning he felt Remus’ tongue in his mouth- and if he wasn’t so surprised by it he might have come prematurely just from that..

He kissed back, sloppily- he knew he shouldn’t be doing this, but it was hard not to. Not when it felt so good. He moved like this opportunity might be taken away from him at any second.

His hands flew to Remus chest, one grabbing around his pec and the other trailing across his stomach before moving toward his spine.

Patton could feel Remus’ own hands on him- moving wildly. It felt like electricity, or maybe just straight up fire.. It was hot, burning. Like the cross around his neck right now..

He was no longer being jerked off, instead he was being grinded against by Remus- who.. fuckin hell- he was hard too. Patton didn’t notice- he didn’t want to look before, didn’t want to give in, but he could feel it now. Against him. His own moans broke the kiss up,

“Ah. Hha.. hell- Gosh, god.. Remus-“

Remus leaned in closer, moving his hips faster,

“Are we cursing now? Have you gotten that far that quickly? Fuck- you must be a degenerate or something,” He laughed, finding it humorous- fascinating, even, how fast he was able to break him.

“Haa- ‘m sorry.. It just.. feels, Ha,” Remus began biting into Patton’s collarbone, which made him shoot his head back, moaning again.

“F-fUCK! ..ff.. Ha- shit, im sorry- god, im a pervert” His voice hitched toward the end, a mix of horror and lust dawning over him.

Remus’ thumb pushes in on his inner pelvis, “You are- you’re fuckin more than a pervert. You’re a whore, aren’t you?” He whispered, biting down near his ear just to get another reaction from him.

“One in the making- you’re too far gone, huh?”

“N-No- no no, I don’t.. I don’t wanna,” Patton cried out, digging his nails into Remus’ skin slightly.

“I-I’m not.. I can’t,” He pleaded.

“You already are, Patton.. Look at you- can you even hear yourself? The way you’re moaning right now? The way you look?” Remus laughs, and Patton tries hard not to focus on the feeling of his breath so close to him.

“You’re not coming back from this.. Patton.. and I think you know that, don’t you?” He moves his hips again, long and slow this time, which draws out a horrifically slutty moan from Patton.

“Fff…Fuck- im.. no, ha.. Im sorry- im sorry I didn’t,” He moved a hand to the both of their dicks, holding onto them so he could thrust against Remus properly,

“‘M sorry.. f-for being a w-whore, it feels so good, remus, please..” He sniffled, trying to blink away his tears once again. He felt Remus’ tongue on his cheek, licking the ones that had already fallen, and moving further down to lick his jaw and neck as well… He felt so, *so* gross..

“Remus I’m..” he gulps, “im gonna cum-“

He felt a smile form across his Adam’s Apple,

“Of course you are- fuckin.. Dirty pervert, getting off from your friends? I’m not even really a friend, makes it worse, really. Getting off to anyone, huh? Is that what you like to do?”

“Mmh, n-no, no! N..not just anyone, please- Remus,” He whines. He was telling the truth- it wasn’t just anyone. He wouldn’t do this with a stranger- he’s not that far gone..

“Patton, you know I can’t do anything when you just talk,”

“Cum- I-I want to cum, please, please- im, sshhhit.. Please,” He whines, looking down,

“I-I know im a pervert- and gross, but please Remus I just- please,” He rolled his hips again, digging his nails further into Remus’ skin. They don’t go too far in- he doesn’t keep his nails very long, but it’s something. Remus has to make a conscious effort not to shiver as he feels it jolt down his spine.

“Fucking.. Ha.. god, Patton you talk so dirty. You’re fucking filthy, you know that?” He pushes Patton’s chest down, moving to be properly mounted on top of him now, both of their dicks in his hand as he humps him.

“Y-yes, yes I know.. please- I’m dirty please just let me cum,” he moves a hand towards Remus’ waist, pushing him down further.

Remus curses, moving faster, “Fucking hell.. Look at me- what you’re making me do, huh? Fuck- you like this don’t you? Getting what you want even though you don’t deserve it? Even thought it makes you fucking disgusting,”

Patton nodded, moaning incomprehensibly. He was fully sobbing again- not that he ever really stabbed crying, but now they were like faucets again. He was a mess, fucking up into Remus’ hand over and over as he eventually came, squirting over his own chest.

Remus came soon after, biting down into Patton once more to prevent himself from moaning out- Patton didn’t deserve to hear that.. not yet, anyway.

“Fuck..” He mumbled, laughing slightly- in disbelief almost.. He really didn’t expect this much from Patton- not immediately anyway, this was..

“..So fucking nasty.. you know that?”

Patton nodded, whimpering slightly.

“I..I know..”

[peppermint-candy]

What ever happened to that Patton fic you were writing?

Funny you bring that up bc I was just thinking about it actually! It’s almost done. For real. But it needs a lot of work. I went back and was reading what I had last night, and honestly I’m so embarrassed to post it. I feel like I didn’t write Mike properly too, and that’s the last thing I’d ever want to do. I think that’s why I’m so scared to post it.

[part-time-zombie]

Blue Around The Scales

pairings: loceit (platonic, can be seen as romantic)

summary: logan doesn't worry about very much, and he tries to respect janus' privacy. after janus starts acting strangely, logan takes it upon himself to make sure he's alright.

tags/warnings: shedding

word count: 3345

a/n: i wrote this before janus' grwm video, i hope it still holds up lol. i also hope what i looked up about snakes is accurate enough.

Logan didn’t worry easily. Most problems were easily resolved and not worth his concern at all. Even if it were a more difficult issue, it mostly just frustrated him more than anything. It challenged the notion that he always had the answer to things, which of course he does. That’s his job after all. He was not the type to be concerned about anything, especially since he could often solve most problems before they could raise any concern at all.

In this case however, he couldn’t help but feel a slight twinge of tension settle over him. Over the past week or so, Janus had been acting rather strangely and with no discernible cause. He rarely left his room at all lately, but when he did Logan noticed subtle changes. He was less active than he usually was, which admittedly wasn’t much to begin with. It wasn’t exhaustion as he was still very much aware and alert and showed no signs of fatigue, but he had been spending most of his time resting on the couch and hardly moving unless absolutely necessary. His scales seemed to be fading in color and vibrancy as well, dulling to a sickly grey that he refused to comment on. He was completely irritable and withdrawn, though it never got any worse than excessive eye rolling and rude responses. Any attempts at inquiry regarding his behavior only ever resulted in stubborn silence from him. Worse yet, Logan can’t recall the last time he saw Janus eating anything.

He did try to encourage Janus to eat, but he always declined whatever had been offered to him. It didn’t matter if it was Patton's baking, Logan's cooking, or even a simple glass of wine. Janus would refuse to consume anything, saying little else than that he wasn’t hungry. Thinking that he might have been suffering from the effects of his coldblooded nature, Logan even tried to turn the heat up but with little success. Even when the thermostat was set at eighty, Janus refused to eat or move. With all of these increasingly troubling symptoms and no identifiable source to them, Logan couldn’t help but be a little bit uneasy. Something was wrong, Janus wasn’t functioning properly, and he definitely wasn’t feeling well despite the sides being incapable of falling ill in the first place. Whatever was going on was not good, and it could even potentially affect Thomas.

Logan tried not to say anything about it at first. It was clear that Janus didn’t want to talk about it and Logan wanted to respect his boundaries, but at the same time he was getting increasingly desperate to find an answer to what was going on.

It was when Janus didn’t show up at all that he let himself worry. Janus had been skipping breakfast all week now, but he usually showed up roughly an hour later. It was now noon and he had yet to appear, and Logan's attempts at summoning him were fruitless. Janus had never declined an opportunity to appear for a debate or discussion before and he always showed up when he was summoned, so him not being present at all was beyond surprising.

With little else in the way of ideas, Logan found himself standing in front of Janus’ door, readying himself to knock. He had never intruded on Janus’ privacy before, but he felt the situation called for such measures and he had no better actions to take. Taking a deep breath, he raised a steady fist and knocked firmly on the door.

It took nearly a minute of silence before he decided to knock again, this time louder.

“Janus, it’s Logan. Are you still in your room?”

“… No.” came the response, very clearly from within the room.

Logan sighed to himself, not willing to play against Janus’ sarcasm today. “May I come in?”

“Yes…”

Upon receiving admission, Logan did not hesitate to open the door and enter, only for his glasses to immediately condensate and fog up at the extreme humidity he was confronted with inside Janus’ room. He took his glasses off momentarily to clean them while he heard a surprised and slightly panicked curse come from somewhere off to his left. He put his glasses back on quickly at that, taking in the sight before him.

Logan had never been in Janus’ room before, but it was certainly quite lovely. It was warmly lit and minimalistic in design, with black and gold as the most prominent color choices. There was a large bookshelf to his right full of various novels, biographies, and even a few knick-knacks, with the bed at the far end of the opposite wall. Next to it and in the direction of the sound was a large vanity set with a small plush stool. It was here that Logan saw a very flustered and very disheveled Janus.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” he shouted, hurriedly tying the black robe he had apparently just now covered himself with. His hat and gloves were discarded along with the rest of his outfit, though Logan could still see some yellow and black patterned sleep pants beneath the robe. He had definitely not been expecting Logan to enter, considering his state of undress.

“Apologies, I thought you said I could come in,” he explained.

 “Yeah, as a lie. Much like how I was clearly lying when I said I wasn’t in here. Why are you even here in the first place, what do you want so badly?”

“Well, I wanted to check up on you. You had been behaving strangely for quite some time now and I couldn’t help but feel concerned about your wellbeing.”

Janus scoffed, though it lost most of its impact now that Janus was so off-kilter. “How sweet of you to say. Really, I’m touched by how you apparently care so much that you barged in on me like this. As you can see, I’m fine, now just get out of my room already.”

Logan was about to do just that, but as he prepared to move he saw something in the light that gave him pause. Leaning forward slightly from where he stood, he tried to better examine what it was that he had seen on Janus’ face.

There, near his left eye, a part of his scales had peeled back slightly.

“What are you staring at?” Janus snapped.

Logan tried to clear the look of shock that had surely formed while he gaped at Janus.

“Your scales…” he started, not quite sure how to properly phrase his observation.

Janus seemed to understand him immediately though. He gasped lightly before all but slapping a hand to the left side of his face, turning his head to hide his scales. “It’s nothing. You didn’t see anything, alright, just leave it alone!” he exclaimed, as the now clearly visible right half of his face flushed beet red. If Logan didn’t know any better, he’d say Janus was embarrassed.

By now his concern had been replaced with an overwhelming surge of scientific curiosity. Logan shut the door behind him and took a small step forward.

“Janus, are you shedding?” he couldn’t help but ask.

Janus’ eyes widened before quickly looking away. “What? No, that would be ridiculous. Why on earth would I shed? For all you know these scales aren’t even real. It could just be some very convincing makeup,” he rambled, practically squirming in his seat.

Logan fought back a smile at the extreme reaction. “Maybe so, but I’ve been around you long enough to tell that those scales are very much real. It would make sense for you to shed them anyway, seeing as the coldblooded nature of snakes has also carried over to you.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to show the others!” he retorted. “Frankly, it’s all rather personal and I’d rather you didn’t go talking about it.”

“Of course not. I assure you; I will keep this information to myself,” he replied, which did seem to somewhat calm Janus. He had yet to remove his hand from his scales, however.

“Can I help?” Logan blurted out. He honestly hadn’t meant to ask that question for the sake of not overstepping any boundaries, but his desire to make himself useful and potentially learn more about Janus’ scales in the process had become too strong.

Janus stared back at him, surprise and skepticism clashing on his face.

“Why?”

“Well, if these scales are by any means difficult to remove I could certainly be of assistance. I wouldn’t mind helping, though it’s up to you. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Janus seemed to consider this for a moment, before sighing rather deeply to himself and finally removing his hand and exposing his scales. “Fine, but you will not under any circumstances breath a word of this to anyone, understand?”

Logan nodded, already walking over to Janus. The peeling was even more evident up close, with it seeming to start at his hairline before it reached his eye. It was a fascinating sight.

“Right, what do you know about snakes shedding?” Janus asked.

“Not very much, I must admit. I know they do it fairly regularly, though the frequency decreases as they grow. I also understand that it is a natural part of how they grow as their skin essentially becomes too small for them, so it peels off at a certain point. I suspect that your odd behavior last week was symptomatic of your scales preparing to shed.”

“You do catch on quick,” he answered with a teasing smirk. “Snakes also shed their old skin in one solid piece,” Janus added. “I’m not so lucky.”

He brought a hand up and gestured to a part of his scales, near the bottom half of his jaw. There was a swatch of scales, but they did not continue down his neck or connect with the rest of the scales on his face in any way.

 “The scales on my face are pretty much self-contained, and have to be peeled off in separate patches,” his hand indicated the points where the scales ended and joined seamlessly with his skin as he spoke, highlighting their isolated placement.

Logan hadn’t really considered that before, but it did hold some merit. He couldn’t help but wonder where the rest of his scales might be, as he only saw the ones on his face.

“Anyway, I suppose I’ll demonstrate for you first so you know how to do it right,” Janus said, his tone poorly feigning nonchalance. “Can’t have you making any mistakes now, can we?”

Logan bit his tongue at that, nodding instead as Janus began.

“The scales don’t come up on their own, you have to scratch at a spot until it peels,” he started, fingers coming up to where his scales had already peeled back. “Once it peels back, it’s just a matter of slowly lifting them away from the face until it’s all off.”

He pealed the scales off while he explained, as if he were merely removing a sticker. After a minute the scales on the upper half of his face were shed and placed on the table.

“And no, I don’t eat the skin. Don’t even bother asking,” he groaned.

“I wasn’t going to,” Logan replied. “Besides, I feel like that’s a question Remus would be more inclined to ask you than me.”

Janus didn’t say anything, only letting out a small chuckle.

He started gently scratching at the scales closest to his ear next, gently pinching at the part that came loose and pulling back with the same practiced ease as before.

“Does it ever hurt at all?” Logan inquired.

“Not really, it’s more or less like peeling dried glue off of your skin,” he said with a shrug. “It’s much easier when it’s humid, makes it easier to remove.”

He finished shedding the scales on his face soon after, suddenly looking very sheepish.

“What’s the matter?” Logan asked him.

Janus took a moment to respond, not looking up at him. “The rest of the scales are in a more, sensitive area, so to speak.”

Logan felt himself flush. He couldn’t possibly mean that they were located near his…

“Well, not there, Logan, good god!” Janus hurriedly explained, putting a hand up between them as if to wave the thought away. “And here I thought Remus was the pervert.”

“You said they were in a sensitive area, though,” Logan defended. “That coupled with your clearly flustered behavior, it would only make sense to assume such a thing!”

“Just get your head out of the gutter already, will you? It’s nothing like that.”

“Well, where are your scales located then? I haven’t seen them anywhere else on your person so far, though I haven’t seen much more than your face and on one occasion your arms.”

“Just don’t be weird about it, alright?” Janus urged. He turned his back to Logan and slowly let his robe slip down his shoulders with a shaky exhale.

His back was completely covered in scales. They started from the back of his neck and continued all the way down to the small of his back before finally blending back to skin. They wrapped around to his chest in a fashion that paralleled his ribs, with thins strips of them looping up and over his collarbones as well, not quite joining the scales that extended from beneath his arms. The scales were dull and faded to a lifeless grey, but it was still a mesmerizing sight.

“If you’re just going to stare then you may as well leave,” Janus snapped, staring back at him through the mirror with a still-present blush on his cheek. “I’ve done this before on my own and I’ll do so now if you aren’t actually going to help.”

Logan apologized before gently moving his hands up to Janus’ neck. “Please let me know if I am ever hurting you or making you uncomfortable in any way,” he said before starting.

Janus quietly nodded, looking down at his lap where his hands were balled into tight fists.

 Logan started making soft, delicate scratches just like Janus had done earlier, being careful not to hurt him. It took him some time, but he finally managed to coax a small part of the scales to come up from the skin. After ensuring that Janus wasn’t bleeding or otherwise hurt, he started to gently peel away at the scales, moving slowly and carefully. The skin eventually reached his shoulders, at which point Logan briefly stopped to free up the scales that curved over to his chest, checking with Janus all the while. They came loose in the same manner as the ones from before, peeling back to join the rest of the shed skin from where he had left off. He did the same to the other side, already becoming familiar with the process. It was quickly coming easier to Logan, and he prided himself on his fast learning.

He started to guide the shed scales further downward until they wrapped around with his ribs, at which point he repeated the same process as before. He checked in with Janus the whole time, noticing him minutely relaxing more and more as time went on. His fists were no longer clenched and his eyes had slipped shut, and while he still carried some tension in his shoulders his face had softened, revealing a delicate lightness in his features. He seemed to let himself become calmer and more open the longer Logan worked, and he couldn’t help but feel somewhat honored that Janus was trusting him with something this delicate.

He continued to help shed the scales, gently easing the old skin back without tugging on the newer and more sensitive scales beneath it. He noticed some light scarring by some of the edges of the skin, spots where Janus had presumably struggled to rub the scales free. He decided not to comment on that, focusing instead on gently removing the last of the old scales with one final peel.

Logan stood back for a moment, letting himself admire the sight before him. With the old skin gone, the new scales beneath it were incredibly vibrant and bright, catching the light in a rather iridescent array of colors. Yellows, greens, even shades of brown, all shiny and new. He tried his best to commit the sight to memory, certain that he may not get a chance to see it a second time.

He placed the shed skin on the table with the rest of the old scales, causing Janus to open his eyes at the sudden disruption. He sat up straighter and quickly adjusted his robe back over himself, not realizing how much he had drifted off. He eyed the pile of skin almost incredulously, lifting it up to better examine it.

“You got it all in one piece?” he asked.

Logan nodded, pleased he did well.

“I must admit I’m surprised. I half expected you to tear it somewhere down the line.”

“Have you ever done that?” Logan asked him.

Janus shook his head slightly, turning back around and looking up at him. “No, but I’ve come close. Usually, I have to start peeling at all of the edges and make my way inward until I can pull it all away. Either that or I just end up using a backscratcher. Neither method is exactly fun, though.”

“Do you often do this by yourself?” Logan couldn’t help but ask.

“It’s not like anyone else knows about it. Well, except for you now.”

“Remus and Virgil don’t know?”

Janus let out an irritated huff at that. “God no, can you imagine? Virgil would find some way to convince himself I was dying every time, and Remus would just make a mess of it for fun.”

Logan couldn’t help but chuckle at that.

“That’s a fair point. I certainly wouldn’t want Remus putting you at risk while you shed.”

Janus arched an eyebrow, surprised by the sudden candor.

“Might I add, it is good to know that I was right.” Logan added.

“Right about what?”

“Your scales are in fact pleasantly smooth. You are not a ‘slimy boy’ as Thomas put it.”

Janus sputtered at that, eyes wide and determined to look anywhere but at Logan.

“You can’t possibly say that with a straight face,” he said.

“But I did anyway. I would also like to point out that your scales are very lovely after they’ve been shed. I almost wish you didn’t hide them so much, though I understand why you do.”

If Janus wasn’t embarrassed before, he certainly was now. He was flushed and flustered, ducking his head and floundering over his words while he struggled to say something.

“You have to stop saying things like that, you’re making a fool of yourself.” He groaned.

Logan wasn’t about to point out which of them was currently embarrassed, humming in dismissal instead. “I hope my help wasn’t too terrible, I know this is a personal matter for you.”

He shrugged again, a faint smile replacing his blush. “You didn’t do too bad, it was definitely easier with some proper assistance. I trust you still won’t mention this to the others?”

Logan smiled softly at the praise before replying. “I swear, no one will hear of this from me.”

Janus gave him a stern nod. “I intend on holding you to that.”

He held out a hand, and Logan shook it.

“I don’t suppose you’d be willing to join us for a movie night later in the evening, now that you’re finished shedding?” he asked, letting his tone betray his hopefulness. “I know I at the very least would enjoy your company a great deal.”

“Only as long as there’s going to be snacks and plenty of wine,” Janus answered, a teasing smirk returning to his face. “I’d kill someone over leftovers right about now.”

Logan couldn’t help but smile, already looking forward to Janus joining him tonight.

@lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie @nico-the-overlord @rougeside4 @keitaisghost @new-zee-land @yuckypuppie @can-i-take-a-stab @britt-ish123

[loganofthenorth]

Do you have any ships you don't like?

Ever just look into your inbox and realize you have a bunch of asks you forgot about? Ha could be me

That was going to say couldn't be me but auto correct changed it and it's not wrong so I'm leaving it

Anywho, ships I don't like? Yes of course, I have many.

Obviously there's the forbidden ship r*mr*m that shouldn't even be a thing so I'm not going to dignify it with a paragraph

Then there's Logicality which I've written about before. I used to like it, but after rewatching Sanders Sides twice I realized they aren't very healthy for each other in a romantic sense. Patton seems to make Logan out to be the bad guy when he's just trying to help, and Logan tends to snap when his patience runs thin. Also the Skip incident in SVS Redux, where Patton asked for Logan's input before silencing him because Logan's opinion went against his.

Then there's Intruality, I love it in AUs under certain circumstances, but it's a big fat No in cannon. It doesn't work because if you look at Sanders Sides from Remus's perspective, Patton is a manipulative abuser. If you look at Sanders Sides from Patton's perspective, Remus is a bad guy that lashes out for no reason. Like, sure, one could say that they might work through that and think they misunderstood each other. However, neither of them are technically wrong. Besides, considering that Remus exists because his version of creativity was morally frowned upon, and was therefore repressed so that Roman could be a morally appropriate version of creativity, a romantic relationship would be awkward at absolute best. Honestly if they do somehow work on their issues with each other, the best outcome would be that Remus and Patton's relationship would become a sort of father that abandoned his son and now they're reconnecting kind of thing.

Then there's Moxiety, this one is just because I see Patton and Virgil in a father/son relationship. Also, the fact that Virgil is Thomas's fears and fear is an emotion, which Patton has dominion over, it's possible that Patton is actually Virgil's father in the same way that Roman and Remus are brothers. I also believe that the Orange Side is anger, and if that's the case, he would be Patton's son as well.

I can go into that theory in another post though.

Next is Royality, and yes I know, you're probably sensing a pattern.

Now, don't get me wrong. While Patton is my least favourite character, that doesn't mean I hate him. I actually love Patton, especially in episodes like the puppet episode where he shows incredible emotional maturity that is really helpful to Thomas.

I also love how complicated of a character he is, and it's sad that the fandom simplifies him to just a happy, nice, cute, silly character, because he's more than that. He has severe depression, and a lot of issues that come from that. He also grew up taking catholic views to heart, following all the morals Thomas was taught as well as he can.

On top of that, he manages emotions, which is such an incredibly complicated thing to be in charge of. He manages instincts, like when Thomas feels good for doing something good, or when Thomas is hungry, or thirsty, or whatever else. He manages a large percentage of Thomas's likes, dislikes, sense of humour, inner child, and more. Patton has a large mountain of responsibilities, which adds to the complexity of his character.

He also appears to be very manipulative, whether or not he intends to be using manipulation tactics, I don't know. I think his character's too complicated to know that for sure. However, he's done a lot of love bombing, guilt tripping, and other manipulative actions that make him out to be this innocent good guy and anyone that disagrees with him to look like a bad guy.

Due to how complex of a character Patton is, and due to how he has made himself a father figure to most of the sides, it's hard to enjoy him in most ships in cannon. The only ship that works well for him is Moceit, in my opinion, because Janus is working with him to help Patton work through these issues. Patton is also good for Janus because Janus needs to learn how to communicate in a way that doesn't seem like he's attacking or sabotaging Thomas/the other sides.

Now, with that aside, back to Royality.

Royality is a very best friend or father/son relationship. More best friend in AUs and Father/Son in both cannon and AUs. I say more father son in cannon, because Roman has shown a desire to gain Patton's approval. He tries to follow Patton's rules, even though every time he finally manages to meet Patton's impossible standards, suddenly they change and turn around completely. (I have ranted about this several times and will likely do it again in future posts.)

Now, with those out of the way, yes there is more.

Next is Logince

I like Logince in AUs, and it's not that I don't think Logan and Roman's dynamic is amazing, it's not that I think they wouldn't work romantically, I just see them more as a brotherly relationship. Roman treats Logan like an older brother that he fights a lot with, but at the end of the day he just wants to be good enough for Logan. The way they talk about Patton to each other is a lot like Roman being a teenage brother complaining about their Dad and how lame/strict/embarrassing/etc he is to his adult brother.

Then there's Anxceit. This one I don't like because I see Janus as a mother figure to Virgil and Remus. I guess it could work in AUs, but to get their dynamic right, it would probably be a friends to enemies to lovers situation. Like Catradora. Also Janus and Virgil still have a lot of bad blood to work through, so if I'm wrong about the mother/son bond and they were just friends before, then Anxceit would probably have a lot of work to do and an awkward patching up before they can be in a healthy relationship.

Now there's Demus and Roceit. Which, maybe they shouldn't be on this list, because I do like these ships, but I do want to talk about them.

Demus I tend to feel meh about, it's basically dark side Royality. They work as a mother/son dynamic or best friends, not really romantic partners. However, I love them when it's Intruloceit, because I love Loceit and Intrulogical.

Roceit, this is friends to enemies to lovers galore. Roceit is not a healthy ship currently, but it's definitely an entertaining one. Due to Roman's insecurities and Janus using Roman for his greater plan, however, I don't know if a romantic relationship would work in cannon. It depends on where the story goes from where we are right now. However this is the perfect enemies to lovers ship for AUs if you get bored of Prinxiety's popularity.

Now what's interesting about Demus and Roceit is that if you believe in the theory that Roman and Remus were once King Creativity, which I do, and if you've seen the King AU, which I have, that adds all kinds of layers of complicated to Demus and Roceit. Of course, I may go over that in a future post.

Sorry this was so long, I hope you enjoyed my infodump!

[goodieghosty]

How did Ro and Virge end up getting together?

Virgil became his translator since Janus kinda spooked Roman a lil bit. V is a very kind dude. And once he got over the initial shock of "holy shit it's a moth guy" he was very curious to learn more. But never overstepped.

He also argued with both Patton and Logan to let Roman see Remus. Because at the time Remus had just taken a turn for the worst and Roman hadn't been able to see him in weeks and it was stressing him out. Pat and Lo didn't want Remus to hurt himself if he got too excited. But in the end Roman was allowed to see him, good sibling moment

Remus immediately started to get better after that.

So they started out as friends and slowly grew to know each other. And there were definitely mutual feelings but neither wanted to make the first move. And also Roman didn't know if Virgil actually felt the same, because moth courtship is super different than human courtship.

Then Roman started behaving weird during a certain season and V went to Logan and he said "ah, it must be time for mating season. Once a year mature beings of his kind will make the flight to the chosen mating grounds. Supposedly this year's is special, as it falls under a blood moon. They believe that any pair who mate under the blood moon will be bonded for life. Simply speaking, Roman is eager to go and find his 'soulmate.'"

Which ah, makes him feel... odd. Roman is clearly eager to go. And V doesn't want to keep him from doing something. But he also doesn't know what he'd do if he never saw him again or came back with a mate.

Janus, in the most bland voice ever, "Oh my god. You love him. No one saw that coming."

V is just-he doesn't know what to do. So he figures he should leave it up to Roman to decide. And they go out to a field and pick flowers and V is quiet as he decorates Ro's hair with them. If Ro does end up leaving, V wants one last memory.

Only, ah, Roman says something in his language that he doesn't quite get. And Virgil attempts to copy it. But ends up proposing to Roman instead and he doesn’t even know until after Roman tackles him to the ground and kisses him.

It was like-Roman was asking him if he was alright. And V just "will you marry me?" And Ro suddenly thinks this whole lil trip was a date and V is very romantic actually.

Mind you the entire time they've known each other, V has accidentally been courting him in moth language. By giving him things like fruit or touching his wings to make sure they're healed up nicely or that time he gave him his hoodie to wear-which didn't work out. But it was the thought that counts.

V has to explain that he didn't know-but he would like to date him. Marriage is a lil soooooon.

[i-am-bitterly-jittery]

Fic prompt idea, romantic Lomoceit (Janus x Logan x Patton), and mistletoe?

Mistletrapped (?)

Rating: gen

Word Count: 1109

Pairings: Lomoceit, established Loceit, potentially background Prinxiety or Dukexiety (or just platonic, up to you)

Warning: one swear word

~~~START~~~

“Are you aware that mistletoe is a parasitic plant?”

“Actually, I am,” Janus replied. “You’ve told me at every Christmas party we’ve ever been to.”

“In that case, you are aware that I fail to see how they can be considered either festive or romantic.”

“I know, love, but Patton thinks they’re festive and romantic, and he’s the one we’re trying to woo here, not you.”

“Hmm,” Logan hummed. Janus had a point, Patton did seem to be a fan of the parasite, and the Yuletide tradition of kissing beneath it would serve their purposes nicely.

Janus and Logan had been dropping subtle hints that they wanted Patton to join their relationship for months, but to Janus’s surprise, the only person in the world more oblivious than Logan — and it had taken him over a year to properly seduce Logan — was Patton.

So, they were throwing subtly out the window. Well, not totally out the window, they were, after all, not being completely and explicitly forthright about their feelings. But mistletoe, kissing — maybe it would finally get their point across.

It did not get their point across, at least, not at first.

All their friends had been invited to the party, and most of them had known what they were trying to accomplish, but that didn’t stop Roman and Remus from being little shits.

Janus and Logan had both been subtly positioning themselves under the strategically placed mistletoe whenever Patton was around, but the one of the twins always seemed to have noticed. The only thing that has stopped the twins from getting in the way completely was an extremely diligent, and completely over it Virgil, who had managed to intercept the twins about seventy percent of the time. Eventually — and after some rather graphic and scientifically accurate threats from Logan — the twins changed course to have a contest to see who could catch Virgil under the mistletoe more.

Virgil’s longsuffering sacrifice paved the way to allow Logan or Janus to get caught by Patton underneath some mistletoe a combined total of about fifteen times, but each and every time, Patton would just smile, make a bad pun, and kiss them chastely on the cheek — which he did for everyone he caught underneath mistletoe.

“I believe it’s time for plan B,” Janus sighed after receiving his ninth kiss on the cheek. “This one will be foolproof.”

“That is what you said about ‘plan A’,” Logan pointed out.

“Shhh,” Janus pressed a finger to Logan’s lips. “My schemes always work.”

“Yes, yes,” Logan huffed from behind the finger. “You’re an evil genius, I know.”

“Thank you. Now, we’re going to need a little bit of help here. Roman! Remus!”

The twins managed to materialize on either side of Janus in seconds.

“Yes, Double-D?”

“I am always ready to assist in matters of the heart.”

“You have been trying to sabotage us for the last several hours,” Logan pointed out, only to be shushed by Roman in the same manner as before, he found this one much less endearing.

Janus rolled his eyes before continuing. “We need you to subtly reposition the mistletoe so that we can catch Patton unaware.”

“What’s in it for us?” Remus asked.

“If the mistletoe is in new places, you’ll have an easier time catching Virgil off guard,” Logan said. Perhaps Janus was a bad influence on him if he was willing to sacrifice his best friend so callously, but Logan was past caring at this point.

“DEAL!” Both twins cheered before practically disappearing back into the crowd to complete their mission.

“So, we’re trying to catch Patton now?” Logan asked once they were gone.

“Yes,” Janus confirmed, keeping one eye on the literal ball of sunshine at all times, hoping to spot him walking into the twins’ trap. “It’s more direct to approach him, and it allows us the opportunity to make the kisses a little less platonic.”

Logan nodded his approval, and while Janus watched Patton, he kept an eye on the twins' movements and placements of mistletoe. Roughly ten minutes later, their trap was sprung.

‘Sprung’ was perhaps the wrong word because instead of Patton moving underneath some mistletoe, Remus managed to attach a sprig to the ceiling directly above him without him noticing. Either way, Janus and Logan took their chance to move in.

“My my,” Janus purred, approaching Patton head on while Logan circled around. “What do we have here?”

“Hi Janus!” Patton beamed, completely oblivious.

“It seems that this time, you’re the one under the mistletoe,” Janus continued, pointing at the offending — parasitic — plant.

“Oh! How did I mistletoe that?” Patton chuckled as he turned his head to offer Janus his cheek. “Well, rules are rules.”

Janus placed a gloved hand on Patton’s other cheek and gently guided his face back to center, relishing the adorably shocked, and slightly flustered expression Patton had on.

“If it’s alright with you,” Janus said slowly, caressing Patton’s cheek with his thumb. “I’d like to kiss you properly this time.”

“But-but what about Logan?” Patton stammered, eyes darting around the party, looking for the taller man.

“I don’t mind if Janus goes first,” Logan’s deep voice rumbled behind him. Patton’s head whipped around with a gasp. “As long as I get a turn afterwards.”

“R-really?” Patton gasped, looking shocked and hopeful.

“We’ve been dropping hints all night,” Janus said as he gently guided Patton’s attention back to himself.

“For months now, actually,” Logan corrected. Janus rolled his eyes, and Patton gave a small chuckle.

“If you’re not interested, then we understand, and there’ll be no hard feelings,” he assured, stroking Patton’s cheek again. “But we really hope you’re inter-mmph!”

Patton smashed their lips together without hesitation, smooshing their noses together somewhat uncomfortably — not that either of them actually cared. Logan took that as an invitation to step forward, sandwiching Patton between the boyfriends, and reach one hand around to settle on Janus’s hip, placing the other on Patton’s hip.

Someone — likely Roman — wolf-whistled.

Janus and Patton broke apart after a moment, both breathing heavily.

“Sorry, I was excited,” Patton apologized breathlessly. Janus just smiled at him.

“My turn,” Logan demanded suddenly, using the hand on Patton’s hip to turn him.

Their kiss was slower, gentler, with Logan taking charge from the get go. They broke apart a moment later when an unholy shrieking started across the room; Remus had tackled an unsuspecting Virgil to the ground beneath a freshly moved sprig of mistletoe.

“What is that about?” Patton asked, bewildered.

“Ignore them,” Janus insisted, pressing closer.

“We’ll explain later,” Logan chuckled. For now, the only thing that mattered was the three of them.

~~~END~~~

This was the only Christmas related request I got, so I figured I should post it in time for Christmas. Anyway, Merry Christmas (if you celebrate Christmas)!

General taglist:

@royalty-of-all-things-snuggly @pixelated-pineapple @knight-shives

[naminethewriter]

One Good Thing

Day 6 and I chose a medical setting despite knowing I couldn’t do the research to do it properly... I’m a fool. Anyway, all the medical stuff is kinda vague so it’s not so bad, I think 😅 Also I’m finally back to Loceit being a romantic pairing, so that’s something. Hope you enjoy! @loceitweek2022

Here on Ao3

Masterpost | Loceit Week 2022 Masterpost

Summary:  Janus is stuck in a hospital after an accident. Logan is his doctor and Janus is very intrigued by him.

Janus hated hospitals. Ever since the fire happened when he’d been ten years old. To this day he didn’t know who of the neighbours in the apartment building he’d been living with his single father set it ablaze but Janus didn’t really care. He got out alive with most of his left side scarred and his father hadn’t been home so he didn’t lose anyone he cared about.

 After the incident he’d been stuck in a hospital for month, bored out of his mind since any toys he had had been destroyed. He didn’t have any friends who’d visit him and his father had to work long hours to make up for their loss. At least his grandparents supported the both of them so they didn’t end up on the street.

Now Janus was bound to a hospital bed again, this time because he’d been run over by a distracted driver. Thankfully he’d been more attentive and managed to react fast enough to protect his head from heavy injuries. But his right leg was broken, as were a few ribs and most of his fingers on his right hand.

 Good thing he was lefthanded otherwise he’d be bored beyond belief. This way he could still do some stuff.

 It’s been a month and he was finally going to be discharged in a few days. His ribs were basically healed, as were his fingers but his leg would take more time. But he could deal with using crutches as long as he could go back home. He got a roommate to rely on if he really needed it, though most would question whether describing Remus as reliable was supposed to be a joke. Janus knew better though. If it came down to it Remus would be there for him.

 There was one good thing that came out of his stay though.

 A knock on the door brought him out of his revelry. Looking over he spotted one of the nurses, Patton, poking his head in.

 “Hey there, kiddo! Mind if I come in?”

 “Sure.” Janus had quickly learned that Patton called everyone ‘kiddo’ and it was futile to get him to stop.

 “I’ll just give everything a quick look, Logan will come for a proper check-up in a bit,” Patton said with that bright smile he wore pretty much all the time. Janus had no idea how he was so chipper while in the most dreadful environment he could imagine. But again, he was totally biased in that regard.

 “You called him by his first name again.”

 “Did I?” Patton giggled. “It’s so weird to call my cousin Dr. Sanders, I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it.”

 “He’s going to get angry again if you don’t.”

 “Don’t tell him please. He said if I did it again he’ll insist that I call him that outside of work, too!” Janus snickered.

 “Your secret’s safe with me.”

 “Thanks!” Patton beamed before he finished checking everything. “Everything looks good on my end. I’m sure Lo- the doctor will agree.”

 “Thanks, Pat.”

 “No problem, it’s my job! Literally!”

 “Speaking of which,” Janus quickly spoke up as he saw an opportunity to ask something he’d wanted to know since his first week there. “I was wondering – and you don’t have to answer if it’s too personal – but do Doctors work a lot more than nurses? It feels like I’ve seen Dr. Sanders run around the place more than you and I always thought it was the other way around.”

 “It’s okay to ask, kiddo,” Patton reassured with a sadder smile than Janus had seen from him before. “I’m not entirely sure what normal hours are supposed to be in our jobs, basically everyone here works overtime most days. But Logan sure goes even beyond that, sometimes I think he only goes home to sleep. Getting him to take a day off is a feat, I’ll tell you that much.” He chuckled but even that sounded strained. “He’s always had trouble forming connections with people, so he doesn’t really have connections outside of work. He’s married to his job as some would say.”

 It was obvious that Patton was very worried and trying to hide it. Janus gave him a reassuring smile.

 “Tell you what, I’m good with getting people to take care of themselves, I’ll see if I can’t get him to loosen up a bit.” Patton beamed.

 “Would you? Thanks so much! I think if it’s you he might listen. He really took a liking to you.” Janus blushed a bit at that and Patton’s smile widened. But before either could say any more, another knock sounded from the door and Dr. Sanders himself appeared.

 “Oh, Patton. I wasn’t aware that you were here.”

 “It’s fine, I’m done anyway. You go on with the check-up.” He practically skipped out of the room and Logan looked after him with a look of confusion.

 “Well, Doctor?” Janus called, burying his slight embarrassment behind his usual confident façade. Logan startled before remembering where he was.

 “My apologies. I will start with the check-up right away.”

 There was no small talk during check-ups. Dr. Sanders was entirely focused on his work and Janus was only allowed to talk to answer his questions about his physical condition. He didn’t mind. It gave him time to admire the handsome features of his doctor.

 Meeting Logan truly was the only good thing about him being stuck in a hospital. The man was first and foremost great at his job. Janus felt respected, informed, and cared for since day one. No matter how many questions he had, Logan had taken the time to answer them all (as long as they revolved around Janus’ condition, of course).

 But he was also exactly Janus’ type. Tall, lean, dark hair, piercing blue eyes and glasses. He had no idea why but Janus had always been weak for men in glasses. Plus he was smart, curious and a good listener.

 Janus had attempted to flirt with the doctor a few times but was either met with confusion (the man was very literal and often didn’t understand what Janus was implying) or immediate rejection since accepting advances from a patient was not professional. But this time Janus wouldn’t let it go as easily. Especially since Patton very clearly implied that Logan was single.

 “Everything is well, Mr. Lawrence. Nothing stands in the way of your discharge the day after tomorrow once we take another x-ray of your injuries tomorrow and no complications arise.” Janus nodded.

 “Thank you, doctor.”

 “No problem, Mr. Lawrence.” With that Logan turned to leave, but Janus stopped him.

 “If you could lend me a bit more of your time, Doctor. I have one last question.”

 “Yes?”

 “Would you be willing to go on a date with me?” Logan blinked, confused for a moment before he straightened his pose and cleared his throat.

 “I believe I was quite clear in the past, Mr. Lawrence, that I do not start relationships with patients.”

 “I am well aware. But if there are no complications I will no longer be your patient the day after tomorrow, correct?”

 “I suppose,” Logan said slowly, his face tinting red slightly. Janus grinned.

 “I will need some time to build up a new routine when I get back home, especially with my foot like this.” He gestured towards the cast around his foot. “But I’m sure I will have it figured out in two weeks’ time. And then I would like to see you again in a more… private setting.”

 “I am not… I mean…” Janus found it adorable to watch this man he’d seen so confident the entire time he’d been treating him stumble over his words by an invitation to a date.

 “I only ask for this one time, Logan.” At the mention of his first name, the doctor’s face turned deep red but Janus kept going. “If you do not want to see me again after that I will back off. But see it this way: Laughter is the best medicine as they say. And if you agree to this, I will have something to look forward to which will improve my mindset significantly.”

 Logan held up a hand to get him to stop while burying his face in the other.

 “Please stop, I understand already.” He took a deep breath before lifting his head and looking Janus in the eyes. “I admit that I find myself drawn to you in a very unexpected way which is why I insisted on a professional relationship during your stay here. But you are right that since said stay is almost over, I cannot use that as an excuse anymore.” He took another deep breath.

 “I am interested in trying out a relationship with you that is more than platonic. I will go on a date with you once you are discharged and acclimated to your daily life.”

 “Wonderful. I feel healthier already.”

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

Hey, you once mentioned something about Tom Riddle being a little suicidal. Your new post reminded of that and I wonder why you think that. It’s the complete opposite of what the books want you to think.

Alright, it’s time, let’s do this.

My standard disclaimer whenever we venture into the dark pit that is my thoughts on Tom Riddle: I’m going to say a lot of controversial stuff that fandom generally doesn’t agree with, I will say so much of this shit that I simply do not have time to explain it all, I expect 99% of you to disagree with me and the other 1% to be so horrifyingly offended that I dare to contemplate a world in which Tom isn’t always an overly competent psychopath that they leave me notes telling me to take this trash out of their character tags.

We good? Alright.

So, when I say a little suicidal, I mean that he is suicidal.

Not on the level that he’s going to kill himself tomorrow, or even has plans to kill himself, but in that he makes very strange decisions for someone who desperately wants to live.

And yes, I realize I speak blasphemy given that Tom Riddle’s entire m.o. is supposed to be his crippling fear of death.

Oh man, this one’s going to be so long.

So, my reasoning comes down to a few things:

The location of the horcruxes and the nature of their protections.

The events of Deathly Hallows and Tom’s final actions in the novel

The nature of horcruxes and what it means to not only be able to create one but what it does to you (caveat that I am going to headcanon hard here and speak utter blasphemy)

So, let’s start in order this time, because I think the first two are actually far easier for me to explain.

The Location and Nature of the Horcrux Protections and the Trouble with Backdoors in Security

So, first, the horcruxes are all conveniently located in Great Britain. Not even just in Great Britain, all in places that Albus Dumbledore and later Harry Potter can track down with relative ease, all fairly close to each other.

Now, part of this is undoubtedly attributable to Tom’s overly romantic nature. 

Yes, Tom Riddle is a giant romantic, though not necessarily in the traditional sense everyone thinks of. The film “Patton” and its treatment of Patton comes to mind. Tom Riddle is a man enamored by a sense of greatness, of being remembered in this world rather than fading into oblivion, by the significance of places and times in history not only of the world but of himself. He creates an entire, grand, persona for himself because to live an ordinary life for him is to be worthy of nothing.

So, given that, of course Tom places the horcruxes in sentimental locations that have personal meaning to him.

However, it also makes them perilously easy to find and collect.

By itself, this wouldn’t spark my notice.

The ability to destroy horcruxes are not easy to come by. There’s only one basilisk and it’s by chance/Lucius fucking up that Harry gains access to the necessary basilisk venom. Using Fyendfire is an incredibly dangerous thing to do and just as likely to blow up you and the next three towns over as it is to destroy a horcrux. And if there are other means of destroying a horcrux they’re just as hard to come by or just as dangerous.

It’s not quite throwing it into the fires of Mt. Doom from which it was forged but it’s pretty damn close.

So, really, without JKR’s convenient Deus Ex Machina giving both him and Dumbledore the means to actually destroy these things, Tom Riddle’s horcruxes are pretty damn safe no matter where we put them. As we see from the locket, which Regulus manages to collect but Kreacher cannot destroy even after several decades.

However, what does spark my notice, is that the horcruxes can be collected by someone other than Tom Riddle when it appears as if they were never intended to be. What do I mean by this?

From what we see, there’s no benefit to Tom if the original horcruxes are found by anyone. He doesn’t seek them out to restore his original body, they’re just anchor points that should be hidden at all costs. So, he’ll never need a Death Eater to go collect them for him should he be indisposed (indeed, to do so would require a tremendous amount of trust in people he has very little trust in). 

So, why hide them in such a way that others can access them? There are canon based options which would have prevented anyone else from reaching them. Given the existence of age lines, I imagine Tom Riddle could make some arbitrary barrier keyed only to himself. There are mokeskin pouches, such as the one Harry is given in the seventh book, which we know can only be accessed by whoever they’re keyed to. There’s the Fidelius Charm which, true requires a secret keeper which Tom would be very meh on, but options exist.

Tom Riddle could wipe the locations of his horcruxes off the face of the map. He chooses not to. Which leads me to believe that, at least on some unconscious level, he wants the horcruxes to be found.

Then we have the protections.

Specifically, I’m thinking of the locket here.

Yes, the protections are very formidable, but they’re also goddamn weird. 

Rather than make the horcrux simply inaccessible, kill all those intruding, instead the intruder has to go through a very “Saw” like puzzle in which they drown themselves in despair until they finally get the locket, at which point they likely suicide by zombie.

More, there’s no hint that there’s any other way to retrieve the locket. 

Backdoors in security are a very bad idea. What they do is weaken the security as a whole and, if you can take a short cut is, it means that someone who is clever enough and motivated enough can to. Dumbledore is both clever and motivated enough, and I imagine if there was a way to get the horcrux that involved not doing this ridiculous task he would have done it.

More, we’d be back to the land of Tom making sure only he can access the horcrux by requiring a password, keying it to his magical signature, or something so that no one else could get it.

Which means, that’s right, if Tom wants to get the locket he’s drinking the goddamn despair juice just like the rest of us.

What kind of a person would do any of this?

I’ve gone over this before, but I don’t think Tom Riddle’s crazy. Rather, in this case, I think he’s driven by an unbelievable amount of nihilist rage and is also quite depressed.

Tom goes to collect his horcrux, “Ah, it’s time to remember what a miserable life I’ve led and the sheer awfulness of my own existence. Good, I was starting to feel a little too happy. Let’s see if I get eaten by my undead, vengeful, victims today.” 

The Events of Deathly Hallows and Tom Riddle’s Death

I think Tom Riddle’s final death in the books was suicide.

Tom takes over the Wizarding World, finally, and it’s as miserable as ever.

He’s trapped in this sham, barely functional, probably very painful body. His Death Eaters are completely out of control and for all that he wanted society to burn it’s now burning and no one’s even learned anything from this. Children in Hogwarts are being routinely tortured and have now staged a rebellion in which he’s having to slaughter them (I have reasons to believe that this is not what Tom Riddle wanted, at all, but that’s best saved for another post), and then he learns his horcruxes have all been destroyed without him even noticing.

There’s so little left of him, he has accomplished nothing, and there’s Harry Potter back from the dead yet again, gloating at him that love conquers all and Tom Riddle will never understand.

And Harry’s right, Tom Riddle will never understand, the world is meaningless and flat to him now and he finally understand that there’s no point to it. I think Tom Riddle decides he’s done. He’s just done.

He enters in a duel with Harry Potter knowing the weird nature of their wands. Now, it can be assumed he used the Elder Wand, but we know they get locked in Priori Incatatum , and that makes no damn sense with the Elder Wand (well, wandlore in general is silly, but I’m working with what JKR gave me here). So I choose to take JKR at her somewhat established canon and say that, no matter what Harry thought, Voldemort was using his original wand.

He throws out the killing curse, despite having now witnessed Harry resurrecting twice to this thing, and within two seconds it rebounds and kills him.

Voldemort’s death is a lot like this scene from the recent, terrible, 2020 live action Mulan (10/10 do not recommend).  Now, we’re supposed to think that this scene is the witch saving Mulan’s life and thus showing her hope for the next generation. In actuality, the witch literally flies into an arrow she could have easily deflected from Mulan’s path. It’s a suicide that Mulan is too stupid to notice.

Tom chooses suicide in the most ridiculous, flamboyant, and easily written off manner one can and no one even notices. Instead Harry crows that he has personally defeated Voldemort, with the power of love no less, HUZZAH!

And the castle parties.

The Nature of Horcruxes

I almost don’t want to include this because it’s so... well, I’m really drifting far from canon and fandom now.

However, with horcruxes, there’s always an overriding question of why Tom is able to make so many when we don’t see anyone else with these things around (especially as it’s clear that murder doesn’t simply happen for those that now have horcruxes).

Usually, you have fic authors just sort of shrug and go, “Well, he’s that evil, I guess.” Sometimes you have them go, “No one else is crazy enough to keep going, and that’s why Voldemort’s cuckoo bananas.” 

One very good explanation I’ve seen is that it’s because most people, when they murder, feel remorse immediately. The soul split happens, but they’re haunted by the murder for the rest of their life, and thus the horcrux isn’t made. Voldemort, feeling nothing when he kills anyone, is thus able to make them even for when he’s only indirectly associated with the death in question.

However, to me that never really jived philosophically.

Mostly, I simply cannot imagine that tearing apart your very soul is an act of indifference. Here’s how I see it: to do something like that to yourself, you must care, you must care beyond all imagine and human endurance. Your soul literally cannot abide it and saws itself in half, purging what you cannot stand about yourself the most. 

The remorse part is, yes, remorse for the act and the victim but more to the point it is the ability to forgive and reaccept the worst part of yourself. That part of yourself that you purged and destroyed, which is nearly impossible to do and might very well destroy the fabric of who you are). 

In other words, while creating a horcrux is an abominable act of hatred, it is also one of profound self-hatred.

Tom Riddle loathes himself so much that he is able to do this over and over and over again. 

As Tom Riddle goes on he makes himself into less and less and less of himself until he probably doesn’t even know who he is anymore. He just knows, whatever is left of him, he loathes that too. 

And then, of course, he gives up, runs into the nearest flying arrow, and dies.

TL;DR: Tom Riddle’s is a miserable existence that ended in a miserable if unintentionally hilarious manner