#and a fourth idea that. actually is sad but i would spin it to happy in the end

[madredhattie]

I really should be asleep but instead I’m picking at various fic WIPs I’ve started up in the last month or so. Dropping a snippet down here because while I’m fond of what it’s about, it doesn’t fit the flow. Be free, little snippet!

-------------------------------------

Such as his duties as a Subway Boss.

Just a few weeks ago, he’d officially rejoined the Battle Subway - as a Depot Agent, wearing the olive green uniform. Though Nimbasa City had celebrated the return of its lost Subway Boss with great fanfare (and what a feeling that was, to know that he had been missed by so many!) his ongoing patchwork memory prevented him from returning to his old station immediately. 

It was for the best, really - though setting foot inside Gear Station had felt like sliding into a much loved and worn coat, the sheer volume of everything had proven overwhelming. On top of that readjustment, there were certifications to undergo, hands-on training to fill in the gaps that remained in his mind, and all manner of other safety checks before Ingo could truly resume conducting battles with skilled trainers.

He wore the black conductor’s cap still. It was the one thing Emmet had pulled rank on, a visual reminder to everyone who saw Ingo that one day, the twin brothers would once again conduct the battle lines side by side. It would just take time.

[thepersonnamedsam]

hey lovely hope you’re doing well!

I wanted to request long distance Carlos where the reader is missing him and he comforts them🥰

mi sol - cs55

pairing: carlos sainz x reader

summary: the five times carlos called you his sun

word count: 1.2k

warnings: father of the reader is dead, angst, fluff

note: i almost missed your request, ahh i’m sorry, but as soon as i saw it, this idea sprung to my head, hope you like it, it’s probably a bit different to what you imagined, but i hope you still like it :)

masterlist / taglist

Carlos and you had a long distance relationship. With him travelling the world and you having to work a normal nine to five job, you only saw him a handful of times. You had five weeks of paid vacation and like every year, you spend them with Carlos.

In the first year of your relationship, you had spent all of your five weeks with him in Spain during his summer break. It was hard leaving him again. He comforted you much as he could, but it was still hard.

„Mi sol, please don’t cry, I hate it when you cry“, he soothed you. It was the first time he called you his sun. It was special to you, because your late father had always called you his sun. Carlos knew the story of course, having been to his funeral with you. He knew the significance of the word and hoped it would make you feel better.

„Por favor corazón, it’s breaking my heart seeing you like this“, his voice pained and his heart clenching with every sob of yours. He hugged you, he hugged you so tight you could feel his heartbeat. It was sad, you were sad. You had to leave the love of your life and the next time you saw him would probably take weeks.

He kissed you longingly, putting all his emotions into the kiss, hoping you would feel the love he felt for you. You did, and it made you even sadder. The time you spent apart was the worst. You couldn’t wait to be back in his arms.

The second time he called you his sun was after his first win in Formula 1. Silverstone 2022, after a long and eventful race, Carlos stood on the highest step in the podium for the first time. He didn’t know you were there, you took some time off to surprise him with a visit, Charles helped you organise it.

As he stood on the podium and looked through the crowd, he saw some familiar eyes; you were there! His heart was already racing like his car, adrenaline pumping through his veins, but now his head was spinning. You were actually there, he couldn’t believe it. Charles spotted you from the side and let security know. You passed through the crowd and you were hoisted up to the stage. Carlos sprung down the podium and took you into his arms. He was drenched with Champagne, but you didn’t care. „Mi sol! You are here, what are you doing here?“, he asked you with disbelief. „I came here to surprise you, I wouldn’t miss the chance to see your first win now, would I?“ He was so happy to share this important moment with you.

The third time was on the first anniversary of your fathers death. You were visiting his grave with your mother, Carlos stood by your side. He had to leave the same day as he arrived, only flown in to be there for you.

Your mother had cried the whole day, missing her late love. You could t cry, it was all too much, your father would miss so much; your proposal, your wedding, his first grandchild. You were overwhelmed with all the stuff you were feeling. Carlos was by your side.

At home he had comforted you. „Mi sol, please cry, let all your emotions out and cry, I‘m here, I’ll catch you when you fall, every time.“

You cried three times; in his arms at home, when he had lo leave again at the airport and alone in your room when he was gone again. He felt bad, really bad to leave you alone again. And on a really important day for you. He wished he had a different lifestyle or you could travel with him. It was his greatest wish.

The fourth time was at Daniel Ricciardo‘s wine launch. It was after the Australian race, you flew in to support Carlos, but the race didn’t go as planned. Charles DNF‘d and Carlos placed 12th. Not a good race for Ferrari. But you two still went to Danny’s launch. You were already a bit drunk, having gulped down the delicious red wine. Compliments paid to Daniel. Carlos was at first a bit uptight, still disappointed in the race, but you made him happy. Your carelessness and happiness transferred to his and he soon enjoyed the evening.

„Mi sol, I think it’s time to go back to the hotel, no?“ He looked at you with big eyes, as you drank the last of your glass, surely it was still one decilitre left. „Bebé, no, I wanna stay and enjoy the company. Who knows the next time I will see you. If I sleep, I have nothing of you“, your arms fiddled in the air. Face expressions more pronounced than usual. He had laughed. Understanding why you wanted to stay awake, but your drunken body, slammed against his, told him otherwise. You were tired.

The fifth time he called you his sun, was during his wedding speech. Your wedding was in early May. Spain was beautiful during this season. Costa del Sol was not too warm, with a high of 22°C, and not too cold, with a low of 17°C. The beaches were beautiful and Marbella was a lovely town.

The wedding was perfect; only close friends and family attending. You cried giving him your vows and when he started, your tears had started flowing again.

„Mi amada novia,

Today, on the day our hearts are forever intertwined, I want to put into words what I feel for you. You are the light that illuminates my life, my radiant sun that shines at every dawn. From the moment I saw you, I knew you were the destiny of my heart.

In your gaze I find the peace and serenity that I long for so much. You are my inspiration, my eternal muse. Your smile is like a ray of sunshine that awakens an indescribable happiness in me. With every beat of my heart, I love you more and more.

Today, in front of all of our loved ones, I promise to care for you and protect you every step of our journey together. I will be your unconditional support, your confidant in dark days and your faithful companion in moments of joy.

I promise to love you with all my soul, in all the languages ​​that exist, but especially in the language of sighs and complicit glances. I will be your rock, your safe haven, and together we will build a love that will stand the test of time.

At every sunrise, I will remind you how beautiful you are, both inside and out. I will fill your days with laughter and hugs, and I will always fight to see you happy. Together, we will face the odds and celebrate the victories, because I know that together we can overcome any obstacle.

Mi sol, my heart beats to the rhythm of your sweet voice and each beat is a reminder of how much you mean to me. You are my soulmate, my true love, and today I promise to love you for the rest of my days.

In each whispered word and in each gesture of love, you will find my eternal love. We will be together on sunny days and on cloudy days, in the calm and in the storm. Today and always, my sun will shine just for you.

I love you more than words can express, my beloved wife. May this day mark the beginning of a life filled with love and happiness. I am excited to walk with you on this adventure called marriage.

Con todo mi amor,

tu marido.“

°°°

taglist: @ironmaiden1313 , @topguncultleader , @missskid

[danddymaro]

Little Heart | Revenant x Reader

I'M A SHAMELESS SIMP: FUCKING FIGHT ME.

The idea came immediately.

Gosh darn. It started cute and ended all melodramatic and blah!! Sorry. 

I mean, I really didn’t know how to end it.

wordcount: 1370



 Little Heart

He stood as still as a statue, the glowing beacons that were his eyes narrowed at the soft blue balloon that fell before him, courtesy of the lively crowd of skinsuits that merrily jumped over the dance floor in a drunken, happy mess.



Someone must have pushed it his way during the dancing, and it made a perfect target for him.



His hand slowly inched up, the open palm facing up as all of his fingers were pressed straight into a pointed edge.

With a precise strike already aimed, it launched with purpose, an immediate pop happening just seconds after.

A single, quick jut forced the orb of air to burst, and he stood in silent satisfaction before another color fell in his line of sight.



-Pink.

‘Pink?’ he wondered with confusion, not knowing where it came from when all he’d seen were blue.

He looked on with curiosity, and he cocked his head to the side as yet another fell before him, slowly descending.

-yellow.



Yellow, followed by red.

As the fourth balloon fell in his line of vision, he caught sight of a crudely drawn little heart sketched in black marker.



A little giggle came from two seats over, and he recognized the voice instantly, the little titter being one he's memorized quite fondly. 

He craned his head to the side, his glowing eyes adjusted to the sight of you.



With a mixed drink held between both hands, you slowly turned away, the stool beneath your rump spinning in the opposite direction with just one push from your foot.

He watched as your shoulders lightly shook while you took another sip from the colorful, little straw, in reality taking a moment to try and settle down from the heavy heat that had found home over your cheeks.

Before you were two more little pieces of rubber, the same colors repeated, as well as a thick, black permanent marker, and he realized that they were something you brought, something you made in the moment just to play with him.



Revenant released a low rumble, the sound of bother holding just the softest hint of amusement.

Still gazing at you, his arm whipped through the air, cutting through both balloons with the single motion as they bounced back up from the counter.



The third was caught in his other hand, the little heart on it facing him, and he could only imagine the silly, little smile you wore as you drew it, and how it'd most certainly grown when you’d lead it his way with a little push of your hand.

He could see that as you slowly turned back to him, your (e/c) colored eyes twinkled playfully in between each eye bat you cutely executed.



Always playful....

Always sweet...

Always so painstrickenly adorable that A soft hum left him, and he thought about how if there was anyone he'd miss, it'd be you.

Seconds rolled by in the silent glance, both of you waiting for someone to move first.

The more you looked at him, the more your features melted softly into what seemed like something blue, something sorrowful you tried to hold down but were losing the battle to.

He then  caught sight of a stray tear, a show of sadness coming into view, and it stunned him because while he’d thought of how much he’d miss you, he hadn’t considered that you’d feel the same.

He hadn’t considered it, but the truth was, you’d miss him just as much.

You would, but had no courage to say so.

As much as you bothered him and messed around, you could never actually tell him just how much you cared about him, how much tenderness you held for him.

Momentarily, he mused over the idea that this was the world letting him know, of letting him know that in the field of rotten weeds that coiled over his feet, there was a little flower existing, waiting for him to notice it. 

- It was telling him that you’d miss him, even if you had planned to keep it quiet.

No one had ever cried for him. No one had ever spared a tear for him, not even when he’d been a breathing being, and of course he wouldn’t be stupid enough to say that it wasn’t his fault. 

That had been the path he chose, the lonesome life he thought was worthwhile.

Now he mattered to someone, not as a weapon and pawn, but as someone.

- As a person.

He almost laughed at the idea that you thought of him as a person, in spite of all the wiring and metal plates that made him. Even if you’d felt it for yourself before.

As you shied away to wipe away the fallen drop, he felt a smile form.

Without expressing it, without the means to do so, he somehow remembered how it was to smile, and it was such a powerful feeling that fueled him, that he felt as though he were.

He was almost convinced he was.

Without question you'd be the one thing in his memory bank that reminds him of happiness, happiness that came from something as simple as existing.



No blood, no fortune, nor profit. 

Nothing that he thought would bring him happiness  before came close to giving him the same sense of joy you did with just being there.

Your silent cry needed an answer from him, he owed you one after everything.

Quietly, with the back of his index finger, he traced the drawing, careful not to burst the thin layer that contained all of the collected air. 

He pretended as though it was your own heart, delicate and in his hand, needing all of the tenderness in the world because of how precious it was.

“Hm...” 

Had it really taken him so long to see it?

Did it really have to come to some sappy goodbye for it to just dawn upon him that maybe, just maybe he already had something special.

-Typical.

Typical skinsuit behavior.

As he stood there, he came to the realization that you were what made him want to smile and actually continue on living.

- continue with his dreadful existence just a bit longer, and he contemplated staying.

Maybe everything had aligned the way it did for him to live long enough to find you, and his existence had meaning.

He hadn't left yet, and he already regretted leaving, but most of all, he missed you.

 Undoubtedly, he’d miss you and the wonderful colors you’d let fall upon him and he couldn’t imagine going longer than a few days without them.

He’d tried before, only to find himself shadowing you throughout your day, the bot trying to understand what it was that had him compelled to see you of all people.

Even if it was from afar.

He then  took notice how sullen you’d become, and he had an idea in mind, a silly one  that he would only consider after knowing you, 

- after caring about you.

  By that point you’d let out a shaky sigh, one that turned into a stuttered gasp as a blue balloon waft down before you. 

Another soon danced down, and you craned your head back to see Revenant right behind you, staring down at you as he let go of just one more blue balloon.

The last came close to your face, but with a soft puff of air shot up to it, it changed direction, easily moved.

Time felt slow, and the blaring music of the background suddenly fell to deaf ears.

You swallowed down thickly, the aftertaste of the alcoholic drink Elliott had given you suddenly bitter.

The sight of the beautiful being suddenly blurred, the overwhelming feelings that had rained down on you too much to bear, but you smiled. 

You smiled stupidly at what he’d just done.

‘Will you miss me too?’ you idly wondered.

Before he could consider the risks of it, he took action, and he then leaned down, his arms coiling around you, pulling you back towards him with need.

Quietly, his lips pressed down to the top of your head, and at the contact you whispered his name, longingly.

Unopposed, you cuddled to him, and he wondered: 

If he dared to ask...would you consider leaving, would you join him on the journey?

Were you waiting not on a goodbye, but an invitation?

[thekingofwinterblog]

It’s all for his sake - Endeavor and the Sunk Cost Fallacy

My hero academia 301 is a pretty interesting chapter, but for me, the most notable piece of it was how Endeavour reacted to the realization that Touya couldnt surpass All Might.

upon realizing that his son might not be able to do it because of inborn physical limitations, he immediatly stopped his training, which frankly was the responsible and adult thing to do. 

This stint of real parenthood did not last long however.

After taking the matter to a doctor, he is flat out told that not only cant Touya achive what endeavor wants, but it is a direct result of his incredibly selfish and irresponsible attempt to play god, by trying to breed the “perfect” hero into being.

It is how you react when you lose however, that shows who you really are, and endeavor illustrates that very, very well.

Upon being told in no uncertain terms that his attempts at Breeding an heir failed magnificently, producing a child that was not capable of resisting his own immense power, but also admonished by his doctor for even attempting it, and adviced not to try again, Endeavor instead doubled down, while focusing on the child he screwed over from the start with his attempt at genetic manipulation.

It was all for him you see. Endeavor doesnt use those words, but that is how he spins it here. it was all for Touya, all for his sake. if i stop now, then Touya was all for nothing, a mistake, im doing this for my son.

if im doing this for my son, then im not responsible for any of this.

his wife however, calls him out on it, as she understands Touya much, much more than endeavor does. or rather, she sees him fully as a human being, instead of as a thing, a weapon, a failed attempt at an heir.

Unlike Endeavor, Rei is able to see the way this all is affecting her son. She is able to see, and understand that Touya has fully accepted what Endeavor wanted him to be. a stronger, and better version of himself. however, unlike Endeavor, she only cares about him as a person.

Endeavour by comparison isnt completely uncaring about Touya. like most abusive parents, he does possess love for his offspring, but it is forever tainted by the fact that however much he might care, or not care about Touya, any familial love he has for his son is tainted by the fact that to Endeavor, he is a failed experiment, a failed heir, not his child. 

He is the golden child that Endeavor was building up as his true and only heir, who he breed, trained, and molded to for that single purpose, and now that he’s reached a point where he cant continue that legacy.

so, its time to abandon him, and start over new, despite literarily having just learned how stupid this plan was, and that it can, in fact, go completely wrong, with a quirk that will fuck over the person he brings into the world.

Of course, Endeavor doesnt use those words to frame it. there is no way to pretend to be a hero, if you phrase it like that after all. Intead, this is the words he uses.

this is a very important series of panels for a great number of reasons, some that can be debated, argued, and we will probably never know the full truth to the questions because this is a series published in 2020′s shonen jump, and there are things that probably wasnt gonna fly with Hori’s editors, if it was the case.

but lets start with what can not be debated. Endeavor’s words here.

“If we want him to give it up, then we have no choice... Touya... Cant surpass him.”

These are very telling words, and however you believe The third and fourth children of the Todoroki family was concieved, there is not denying the meaning of what he’s saying here.

The only way that my son will stop being an idiot and fall into line, is if we have another baby. that is the only Right way to move forward. it is morally right, because if we dont do this, then he’s going to destroy himself.

there are two ways to interpret this scene.

The charitable way is to read it as the fact that he used Rei’s oldest son’s mental state as a justification of guilting his wife to have a third child, to give this attempt at a superpowered breeding project another shot, despite the fact that they now know that this can lead to a child who is essentially born crippled from his own powers, and despite the fact that Rei obviously understands the effect of them continuing this insanity will have on their oldest son.

the uncharitable way to look at it, is that he used this as justification for flat out raping her, and forcing a third, and then later a fourth child on her.

I personally believe the last one, given a number of factors shown in this chapter(the way this page is framed, the fact Rei obviously didnt want a third child, given she predicted exactly how touya would react, the way her eyes would latet turn when she looks at who is presumably touya which really brings to mind how she would later react to her youngest son’s face after her mental breakdown, etc.), but i’ll frankly admitt that withouth a direct quote from Hori, its impossible to know for sure one way or another. 

either way however, this is a very good example of Endeavor both being influenced by, and using Sunk Cost Fallacy to justify bringing another potentially crippled child into the world for his own, selfish goals.

sunk cost Fallacy, is a mental reaction to when you invest more time and resources into a project, that you becomes so emotionally invested into said project that you will continue to invest into it, even if it reaches a point that it becomes clear that the resources you put into it, far, far outweighs the potential gains you can achieve.

because if you give up after having invested years, and years of effort to breed, raise, and train a kid, and then all that effort was absolutely wasted. hence he choose to keep going, despite having learned what a terrible idea this is.

He doesnt care about the fact that his next child might be even more crippled than his firstborn, he doesnt care about his son’s actual wellbeing. he cares about the fact that if he doesnt continue this insanity, then not only will he not achieve his dreams, but everything he did to get to this point was for absolutely nothing.

and endeavor cannot accept that. and so long as he can justify breeding more children into the world, and there being any chance they might inherit both quirks perfectly, he doesnt care about anything else.

and the moment he realised that this kid wasnt gonna cut it either, he did it again. it is not a coincidence, that the age gap between Endeavor’s second, third, and fourth children were all 3-4 years apart. because thats the age where you can usually tell when a quirk will manifest or not, as established earlier in the series.

While she isnt brought up directly by Endeavor as a justification, it is very telling that Endeavor decided on having a third child, only after his second child was old enough that he could tell that that there was no chance she could take the place as his heir instead.

So, he had his third child, and as time passed and it became obvious that he wasn’t gonna be able to fulfill Endeavor’s goals either, he dumped him, and instead breed a fourth child into existence.

and finally, he struck gold. he did it. he produced Shoto.

everything was finally worth it, and now, everything would be absolutely fine. the cost fallacy had reached its end, and it was now all full sails ahead.

except of course it wasnt.

His oldest son, now in middle school, had been raised from birth to believe he would surpass his father, only to be thrown away, and getting to see his father try to replace him, not once, but twice.

frankly, this scene is probably my favorite in the chapter, because it goes to show Endeavor’s mindset. Natsuo made a point that their father completely ignored his older children. and he did... from Natsuo’s perspective. however, having a more thourough picture of things, we can clearly see that this wasnt the case with Touya.

Endeavor genuinly cared for Touya, enough that once he got that child he tried to breed into existence 4 times, he genuinly wanted him to just abandon trying to be a hero. he genuinly thinks of himself as a good dad here, wanting his son to abandon the mission he set out for him before he was born. of course, with context, this heartwarming scene is incredibly sad and insidious, because we understand why Endeavor got so attached to his oldest child. because he WAS the golden child. he was the child Endeavor genuinly cared about, and invested in, and trained personally with great warmth and enthusiasm.

And not only did he abandon him as a failed project the moment he realized he wasnt gonna live up to his ridiculous standards, but he literarily created 2 more kids to try and replace him, just as his oldest son was old enough to understand what exactly his dad was doing. over the course of this chapter, we get to see Touya’s start as a 5-8 year old, his deteriorating mental state over the years, until he finally seemed to reach the breaking point with Shoto’s birth sometime in his middle school years 12-15. 

Endeavor is in this scene, just not capable of understanding why Touya so desperately wants to become a hero, when obviously he isnt physically able to do so. he isnt able to understand that he is 100% to blame for the fact that his son is having a full emotional breakdown after literaly being replaced by his siblings. 

In other words, Endeavor genuinly think’s he’s a good person. a person who has made a few mistakes along the way sure, but a person who was always justified in the end, and now that he’s having to face the fact that as dabi would later say “The past never dies” and has to face the aftermath of his inane attempt to play god for the pettiest of reasons, things simply arent going to work out.

He isnt going to have a happy family, who can now put the awful early years behind them, he put way too much effort, caused too much suffering and sacrificed too many years of his life for this not to work out as he wants.

after all, if he walks away from this project now, and lets Shoto have a normal childhood, and decide for himself, with no pressure from him, wheter or not to become a hero, then the sunk cost fallacy will have reached a negative end. it will all have been for nothing.

and we know he did eventually double down on this mentality, literarily beating into Shoto that he WAS going to become a hero, and there was not but’s or no’s about it.

there was no way that Endeavor was EVER going to let things be for nothing. His treatment of his older children could not be for nothing. His treatment of his wife could not be for nothing. His treatment of Shoto, and the way he beat him black and blue to train him, could not be for nothing.

Because if it all was for nothing, if everything he feels guilty about was for absolutely nothing, then he was in fact, a bad, bad person, who had no justification for anything he ever did.

[emmyhem]

it’s about time (l.r.h)

a/n: hi again! first of all i want to say thank you for the support on “seven things” it means the world. secondly, my requests are open and i’d be happy to write something for you. this is a jealous bff!luke imagine i wanted to get up this weekend, i didn’t do a very thorough edit before posting so hopefully there aren’t any typos. i am working on the request for a lashton x reader love triangle piece right now and will hopefully have it up by monday or tuesday. thank you, i hope you enjoy - emmy :) 

pairing: luke hemmings x reader 

summary: being best friends with the guy you’re in love with is extremely taxing especially when you have to watch him be with another girl all night. just when you’ve finally had enough of waiting around for him he ruins your plans for moving on. 

warnings: alcohol, using alcohol as a coping mechanism, slight angst, jealous luke, mentions of throwing up, cursing, luke’s a bit of an asshole. 

word count: 3.3k

“God, could they get a room?” you scoffed leaning into Calum as you watched your best friend practically eat his date’s face from across the club. 

“Jealous are we y/n?” Calum laughed slinging an arm over your shoulder. 

“No, just utterly disgusted.” you said before slamming back your fourth shot of tequila.

 That was a lie, you were jealous. You were so insanely jealous that you could scream. 

Luke had met his date, Hannah at the studio last week. She was new, working at the front desk. She had caught Luke’s eye the second she walked in the room with a bright confident smile, and a flirty look in her eye. Luke had asked her out the next day and was practically giddy when she accepted. 

And that’s how they ended up in the corner of the club, Luke’s hands tangled in her hair, and her tongue down his throat. All the while you were trying to not look bitter, and distracting yourself with one too many drinks. 

It wasn’t a new routine. You couldn’t count how many times you’ve had to sit back and watch a girl way prettier than you, be in the exact position that you would quite literally die to be in, with your best friend of 4 years. And somehow it seemed to hurt more each time, which meant more drinks for you. 

As you felt the familiar and comforting burn of your fifth shot of the night slide down your throat Calum shot you a knowing look. 

“Maybe you should slow down there, kid.” 

You rolled your eyes and took his Corona from his hands using it as a chaser. 

“Corona girl?” you heard from behind you. When you turn, your eyes meet a pretty pair of green ones (you still preferred Luke’s blue, but what the hell). 

“Tequila girl.” you clarified. 

“Respect.” the man said, extending a strong tattooed hand. “I’m Austin.” 

“Y/n” you said, shaking his hand. You glanced over your shoulder at Calum who was now engaged in a conversation with Mikey and Ashton beside you. 

“Pretty name, pretty girl.” he smirked. “So, can I get you a tequila?” 

You giggled, happy for a distraction from Luke.

“You can get me a margarita, on the rocks.” 

“Deal.” 

The two of you chatted as you sipped on your drink, mind getting hazier with each sip. And you don’t know if it was the alcohol or your determination to get Luke off your mind but Austin was really, really hot. 

“Do you wanna dance with me?” you asked before you had a chance to convince yourself otherwise. You were never really a dance in public kind of girl, normally the closest you got to showing your moves on the dancefloor was Just Dance in Luke’s living room. 

“Absolutely.” Austin replied, sliding an arm around your waist to lead you to the dancefloor. 

The bass beat shook the floor as the two of you made your way to the middle of the club. As you stopped you realized you had absolutely no idea what to do. You never did stuff like this. You can’t even remember the last time you went on a date, let alone danced to sleazy house music with a stunning stranger. You glanced around you hoping to follow the lead of the more experienced dancers around you.

 A redhead to your right swung her hips, inching closer to her partner's body with each movement until she was pressed directly to his chest. 

“Seems like a good place to start” you mumbled to yourself. 

The second your hips were in movement Austin’s hands gripped them strongly guiding your movements closer and closer to him. As the beat built and your movements slowed to a teasingly slow pace his grip tightened causing your tight white dress to bunch up on your thighs. 

With the alcohol in your bloodstream and Austin’s breath on the back of your neck you nearly forgot about Luke and your perpetual sadness, that is until you locked eyes with him from across the room. 

Hannah was tucked under his arm sipping on her drink, but his gaze was locked on you, he had an unrecognizable look on his face, and a jaw clenched so hard you feared he would break his teeth. 

You took him staring as the perfect opportunity to spin around, inches away from Austin’s face looking up at him through your lashes. His pupils were blown a bit, eyes filled with lust. He was practically breathing into your mouth. You will yourself to just kiss him. It’s not like you were Luke’s girl you thought, so you started to lean in. 

As Austin placed his hand on the back of your neck you felt someone grab your arm tugging you out of Austin’s grip. 

“Y/n”  Luke appeared next to you.

“Is there a problem man?” Austin said grabbing one of your hands. 

Luke rolled his eyes with a sly grin on his face, “Cal wants to talk to you.” he said to you not breaking eye contact with the pissed off guy in front of you. 

“I’m a bit busy.” you said annoyance brewing in you as you ripped your arm out of Luke’s hand. “Can it wait?” 

“Nope, said it was important.” he said nonchalantly “Better go find him.” 

You internally groaned, “I’ll be right back.” you said leaning in to peck Austin’s cheek. 

“Y/n, C’mon!” Luke shouted over the music. 

“Fine!” you groaned leaving Luke and Austin behind you as you scanned the bar for Calum. 

After searching for a few minutes you saw him in a booth with Ashton, and Michael talking and laughing. 

“Calum,” you called. He glanced up at you waving a hand above his hand. You slid into the booth next to him, your patience growing thin. 

“What is it?” you said. 

“What?” he said, confusion spreading across his face. 

“Luke said you needed to talk to me, what’s up?” 

Calum’s eyebrows tugged together glancing at the other guys. 

“I haven’t talked to Luke since we got here.” 

You rolled your eyes and turned to the corner across the room where Luke had Hannah pressed up against the wall. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you said out loud, rubbing your temple in frustration. 

Ashton gave you a sympathetic smile and glanced at Michael who was practically sleeping on Cal’s shoulder. 

“Maybe we should head out.” he said motioning to the drunk mess that was the three of you. 

“No” Calum whined, dragging out the oh sound. “y/n was about to get some.” he teased poking your side. 

“Just take him home, y/n/n.” Michael groaned, not even opening his eyes. 

You pondered the idea, you never did stuff like this. But Austin was hot, and Luke was preoccupied. To say the least.

“I could take him home.” you say aloud trying to convince yourself. 

“Then do it.” Calum challenged. 

“I will.” you stated proudly. “You guys get Luke. Ash, you get the uber, and Austin and I will meet you at the door. “ you gave a quick nod to the boys and went to get Austin. 

Austin stood exactly where you left him on the dance floor. 

“Thank god you’re back. I-“ 

Before he had a chance to finish, you crashed your lips onto his. He quickly fell into the kiss moving his hand to the small of you back. Before it went any further you pulled apart about an inch, and spoke into his mouth, 

“Come back to my apartment?” 

“Absolutely.” he said an excited smile growing on his face.

When the two of you made it to where your group was struggling to stand by the door Luke pulled apart from Hannah, looking Austin up and down. His eyes stopping where your hands were interlocked. 

“Love, a word?” he slurred, nodding his head away from the group. 

You walked with him just outside the door. 

“What’s up?” 

“What are you doing?” he asked. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean with this guy, what are you doing with him?” 

“Um, taking him home with me?” you said confused. 

“You can’t do that.” 

“Who says?” anger began building as you looked up at him. 

“Uh, me I guess. You know nothing about him.” 

This caused you to scoff, a laugh passing your lips, “And you do a background check on every girl you take home with you?” 

“That’s different,” he alleged. 

“And how’s that?” your patience was growing thin, and you could feel this conversation sobering you up. 

“I don’t know y/n, you're just not one night stand material.” 

Okay, ouch. Tears began to prick at your waterline. 

“Go to hell.” you breathed, pushing past him. 

“No, y/n/n. You know that’s not what I meant. C’mon love, hey I’m sorry.” he called after you. 

As you approached the group, holding back tears, you took a glance at Austin in front of you and realized that no matter how hot he was you really didn’t even want this. How could you when you were head over heels in love with your asshole of a best friend.

 But it was too late now, you would do it. Even if it was wrong. Even if you didn’t want to. Even if it was just to spite Luke. 

“Ready to head out?” you questioned aloud, swallowing your hurt. 

“Yep, uber just got here.” Ashton confirmed, guiding a hammered Calum and Michael out the door. 

You all climbed into the Uber X Ashton had ordered, Luke, Hannah, and Calum in the back, Ashton in the passenger seat, and Michael, Austin, and you in the middle. 

As you pulled away from the club, Ashton spoke over the light music coming from the car radio and gave the driver Luke’s address. The group had made plans to all spend the night at Luke’s, like you typically did after a night out. 

“We have one more stop actually” you choked out, feeling Austin lean into you, lips attaching to your neck. 

You gave the man your address and turned your attention back to the sexually charged man glued to your side. As he moved his kisses up to your jaw you closed your eyes, in order to prevent yourself from breaking down. The constant reminder that Luke had no interest in you, being thrown in your face as Hannah released soft sighs behind you. 

Ashton glanced back at you from the front seat, 

“You feeling okay, kid?” he asked. 

You nodded gulping, and looked up at the ceiling to deter your threatening tears. 

His eyes narrowed in concern as he adjusted his body in his seat so he was looking you in the eyes. Luke turned his attention away from Hannah (much to her despair) to the front of the car as Ashton spoke.

“Y/n, you sure? Maybe you and your friend should continue this another night.” Ashton suggested, noticing how you had tensed up and your expression had faltered since entering the car.

 Austin pulled off of you and shot him a frustrated glare from his seat. Ashton raised his eyebrows in response, silently challenging Austin to confront him. 

Austin moved in centimeters from your ear, “Your friends are kind of cockblocks.” he complained. 

You tilted your head away from him and looked out the window Michael was sitting next to.

“Maybe they’re right.” you muttered. “Maybe you should just go home, and we can do this some other time. I’m not feeling well.” 

You kept your gaze directed outside of the car, too afraid to see his reaction to your sudden rejection. 

“Your kidding right?” he scoffed. 

You were becoming more anxious by the second as he rambled on about how you must be joking. 

“I’m not laughing.” Luke interrupted flatly.  

“Okay, what’s your deal man?” Austin’s demeanor had quickly changed as he turned to face Luke, aggression clear in his face. 

Luke held his hands in the air before resting them on the back of your seat. “No deal, she’s just clearly not interested, so maybe you could give her some space.” 

Calum and Michael perked up in their seats as the mood in the car shifted. In the front Ashton was talking to the driver, explaining how you would be getting dropped off with the rest of them. 

Austin was in a confrontational mood now, one that made you uneasy. He and Luke continued to bicker back and forth. Hannah sat confused and aggravated next to Luke.

 You were seconds away from crumbling, feeling extremely upset and overwhelmed. Michael placed a hand on your shoulder, hoping to ease some of your distress as you pulled into Luke’s driveway. 

Everyone got out of the car, leaving Austin stirring in his own anger. Ashton patted the top of the car twice before it drove away.

“Well, y/n you sure know how to pick em’” Luke commented. 

Calum shot him a disapproving look as you shoved past, running inside. 

You had officially reached your breaking point. You couldn’t have Luke but you were in too deep to be with anyone else. Not to mention the fact that Luke seemed to be taking pleasure in your misfortune for the night. 

You went straight for the bathroom. All the alcohol and confrontation hadn’t been kind to your stomach. 

You hunched over the toilet and began throwing up before you even got the chance to close the door all the way. Your eyes were red and stinging from your tears and your throat was stripped raw. Hugging your knees to your chest you sat with your back against the sink. 

Three soft knocks came from the cracked door and you peered up through cloudy eyes to see Ashton looking at you with pity clear on his face. 

“Can I come in?” 

You nodded into your knees, staring down at the familiar tiles of Luke’s bathroom. 

You couldn’t count how many times you had been in this exact spot. Whether it be dealing with the consequences of your unhealthy coping mechanism after a night out like you were now. Early mornings after sleeping over, sitting in the steam while Luke showered because he just couldn’t wait to tell you a story, or late nights he would convince you to paint his nails. All of it was replaying in your head. 

“Why can’t he just love me the way I love him?” you whimpered as a sob broke from your throat. 

Ashton was quick to wrap his arms around you, taking a seat on the floor. 

“It’s okay, y/n.” he shushed. “You’re okay. 

“I love him, Ash” your voice muffled from being pressed to his shoulder. 

“I know.” he comforted you, rocking your frame lightly. You sat in silence for a bit, trying to control your breathing. 

By the time you left the bathroom Calum and Michael were asleep on the couch and Luke and Hannah had gone to Luke’s room. Ashton laid on the couch with the other guys and you made your way to the guest room, falling asleep the second your head hit the pillow.   

You woke up early with a throbbing headache and an insatiable craving for iced coffee. There was no doubt in your mind that you were first one awake, the guys wouldn’t be up for hours. You tiptoed through the living room past a sleeping Michael, Calum, and Ashton being careful not to wake them. As you turned the corner to leave you heard a voice from the kitchen, 

“Morning,” Luke called, his gravelly voice making it very clear he had just woken up. He was leaning on the cabinet in a pair of sweats, a cup of coffee in hand. 

“Oh, you’re up.” you responded still moving towards the door. 

“Going somewhere?” he questioned walking towards you. 

“Yea I gotta go, I have uh…” your mind was drawing a blank. “ya know,  laundry.” 

“Wait,” he sprung forward in two big steps grabbing your shoulder. “as urgent as that sounds, I wanna talk.”

“‘bout what?” 

“I feel like I should apologize for last night.” 

“It’s okay, we can talk about it later. I really gotta get going.” 

“Y/n! Will you let me say sorry, please?” he pleaded 

“You have.” you replied nodding at him before turning away once again. 

“Fine, then can I ask why you tried to take someone home last night. You never do that.” 

“No reason.” you lied, opening the front door. 

“Really? Cause Cal said something last night about you being jealous or something and then I went to check on you and I overheard-” 

“I gotta go.” you panicked, taking a step outside. 

Right before the door swung closed and you made your escape Luke stopped it with his hand and spoke, 

“Are you in love with me?” 

You froze where you stood, squeezing your eyes shut completely mortified. 

Slowly, you spun back around to face Luke. He stepped out of the door frame allowing you reentrance and led you to the kitchen. Once you had both sat down he spoke again, 

“So is it true? What you told Ashton last night, is it true?” 

You placed your hands over your eyes and shook your head.

“Does it matter?” you responded. 

“Of course it matters, what do you mean?” 

“I mean you have Hannah and it doesn’t matter how I fe-” 

“Hannah’s gone.” he interrupted. 

“Gone?” 

“It wasn’t gonna work out with us. I ended things last night.” 

“Why would you end things with-” you paused, eyes narrowing.

Luke looked down, suddenly not wanting to meet your eyes. 

“Do you...you love me?” 

At this Luke shot up from his seat and started pacing around the kitchen.

“Well, of course I do. But I asked you first, and you can’t just..” he rambled on but you stopped listening after “of course I do” 

“Lu,” you said, standing up

He continued talking, not even hearing you over his own nervous talking and fidgeting. 

“Lu.” you called a bit louder. 

He turned to you, stopping mid sentence his mouth still hanging open. 

“I am.” 

“You…” he spoke slowly, eyes frozen on you.

“I am in love with you.” 

Both of you were frozen in place, terrified that if you moved you may wake up and discover this was all just a dream. You stayed like that for about a minute till you broke the silence. 

“I have been, for a couple years now. And I never told you, cause I always thought that-” you were cut off by Luke’s lips. 

He had one hand on the back of your neck and the other pulling you closer by the waist. You melted into the kiss pressing a hand to his chest. It may sound cliche but you swore you were seeing fireworks as he ran his tongue along your bottom lip.  

“I love you.” he sighed as you pulled apart. “I am so in love with you, fuck I can’t believe-” Before he had a chance to ramble again you pulled him back in for another kiss. 

After a few minutes you broke away to catch your breath. Luke moved his hands to cup both your cheeks, 

“Hi.” he cooed. 

“Hi” you smiled. “I need coffee” you turned away walking towards the kitchen.

“Hey no wait” he whined pulling you back by the waist. “m’not done kissing you.”

“We have plenty of time for that, but I need coffee now.” you teased pressing a swift kiss to his lips. 

“Mmm, I know but we’ve got a lot of catching up to do” he said chasing behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist as you walked to the coffee machine. 

As you fixed yourself a coffee, Luke's chin resting on the top of your head, you heard shuffling from the living room. When you looked up Michael was walking in with messy hair and eyes puffy from sleep. He glanced at you in Luke’s arms, his expression unchanging and mumbled while pulling orange juice from the fridge, 

“It’s about time.” 

[unsettledink]

Worth the World - Fluffuary Day 23

Prompt: Flowers

Words: 5463

Summary: Valentine’s Day is not Peter’s favorite holiday by a long shot. And it’s not just because he’s a little jealous of everyone else showing off gifts from their partners. 

But it’s still really nice that an unknown someone sent him a gift this year. Or two. Or— okay, this is getting out of hand.

*

Valentine’s Day.

Ugh. 

Peter sighs. Without a doubt, this is his least favorite holiday. It’s just…

It’s not, as MJ would say, because it’s an over commercialized performative display of heteronormative romance (or something like that; he might have gotten it jumbled up a bit). It’s not even that he doesn’t have—and never has had—someone to spend it with, like Ned tends to suggest. Though that sucks too. 

It’s watching his classmates get flowers and silly singing telegrams and cakes, watching them wander around the rest of the day with balloons trailing behind them and juggling their gifts, everyone seeing it. He’d said as much to Tony—Mr. Stark—a few days ago when he’d apparently been too mopey to be ignored. Which is kinda embarrassing.

He hadn’t known how to really explain the difference between being sad not to get anything and not being sad he didn’t have anyone. It— he would have been just as happy if May sent him something silly; it was about people knowing. It was— kind of selfish, really. No matter how he stumbled around trying to say it, it just sounded bad. In the end, he’d settled for saying it was about wanting to feel normal again, for a little bit. 

He knows Tony doesn’t think much of that. 

It doesn’t really matter. Peter’s never gotten anything before, and it’s not like that’s going to change just because it’s his senior year.

Most of the teachers have given up on getting anything real done during Valentine’s Day, with all the interruptions, but not Mrs. Powell. She’s right in the middle of drawing on the whiteboard—and as far as Peter is concerned, first period is too early for trig--when someone knocks on the door. First delivery of the day, looks like. He stares out the window; at least he doesn’t have to think about math for a few minutes.

“Peter Parker?”

Honestly, it doesn’t even register for a moment. It’s not until Ned pokes him in the side that Peter’s brain stutters back out of shocked white noise and starts running again. “Uh,” he says. “That’s me? I mean, I’m Peter Parker.” 

Someone giggles. 

The lady delivering just smiles at him though. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” she says, and hands him a tall, slim vase, with just one perfect, dark red rose. Peter stares at it. 

Ned elbows him again. “Who’s it from?”

There’s no tag, no note, nothing. “I don’t know,” Peter tells him. “It doesn’t say, so…”

“Oooo,” Flash says. “Parker’s got a secret admirer. Yeah right; you probably sent it to yourself.” Peter can feel how hot his face is and it probably just makes him look really guilty, but he didn’t. Not that he can prove it.

“Back to the reason you’re actually here,” Mrs. Powell says sharply, “maybe Flash can tell us the formula we need to use here.”

Peter has no idea if Flash gives the right answer or not, because he can’t stop staring at the rose. Can’t stop thinking, his mind spinning too fast. 

Someone sent him a gift. 

Part of him is still running through possible gift givers; not MJ, surely not. He can’t even imagine that. Ned’s heard him sigh about getting nothing plenty, but there’s no reason he’d do something now. May? Maybe, and he can totally see her forgetting to even include a note. 

Maybe, he thinks with a sudden swoop of his stomach, it’s a prank. Please don’t let it be a prank. Maybe— maybe there actually is someone who likes him. Maybe there is. 

But even with all that running through his mind, it’s background noise to the single, enormous feeling of actually getting a gift for Valentine’s Day, in front of everyone. 

It’s really nice. 

No one pounces on him in the hall between classes to yell ‘gotcha!’; he gets a few looks and a few smiles, but nothing suspicious. Maybe it really is for real. 

Second period, Mr. Jackson doesn’t even try. Just puts on a movie and grades papers while everyone gossips as other deliveries start arriving, flowers and a teddy bear with candy and a singing telegram, and Peter is no longer the only one drawing attention, thankfully. It was nice getting it early in the day, though. 

“Mr. Parker?”

It— it can’t be. He misheard. Right? 

He raises his hand, slowly. 

A gold box is deposited on his desk, all fancily embossed and no label. No note. 

“Well?” Peter looks up, startled; he hadn’t even heard MJ scoot over in front of his desk. Well, it’s not like Mr. Jackson is paying attention, though it feels like everyone else is. “Are you going to open it?”

“Um,” Peter says. “Yeah, I— I guess? What if it’s like, a glitter bomb?”

MJ looks at him like he’s lost a few marbles. “Ooookay,” she says. “You’ll still have to open it eventually.” 

True. “Well, here goes,” he mutters, and lifts off the top. 

It’s chocolate covered strawberries. Really fancy ones, all decorated and different colors and some are even rolled in stuff. They smell amazing, not kind of artificial like a lot of strawberries do. Not that it’s something he noticed before the bite, but—

“Not glitter,” MJ says, and Peter laughs a little. This is crazy. “No note?”

Maybe they are from her? “Nope,” Peter says. “Uh, you want one?”

They taste pretty amazing too. He ends up sharing them with a couple other people; there’s at least two dozen of them and while he probably could eat them all before they got mushy, he’s pretty sure he’d feel sick. 

He catches Ned in the hall after class. Gives him a strawberry too and takes a couple minutes to freak out at him before third period, because neither Ned or MJ share it with him. “Are you really, really sure it’s not MJ?” Ned asks him.

“I mean, does it even seem like something she’d do?” He doesn’t think so, but then— he might be wrong. 

Ned barely considers it before he shakes his head. 

Third period brings reading Hamlet out loud and a dozen roses. 

They’re lighter than the first one, with a dark yellow center. Really, really pretty, and he gets a couple people ‘awwing’ over them. He still has no clue who is sending these. This is nuts. It’s just— it’s straight up crazy. No one else has gotten more than one delivery yet, and he’s gotten three. Who is it? 

He pulls the first rose out of its vase and tucks in the center of these roses, trying to ignore the way a bunch of his classmates are looking at him and giggling. It stands out against the lighter ones; Peter bites his lip.

Please don’t let this be some elaborate prank, he thinks. He can’t really imagine why someone would put this much effort into it—and money, roses aren’t cheap for Valentine’s Day!—just to make fun of him, but then he doesn’t really understand why people started making fun of him in the first place. 

Maybe it’s Flash. He wouldn’t care about the cost and he’d probably love to humiliate Peter in a big, showy way. 

Ned’s mouth drops open when he sees Peter carrying this newest gift. “Wow,” he says. “This is crazy.”

“That’s what I said!” 

He can’t concentrate even a little bit during fourth period. Ned keeps looking over at him every time Peter’s leg starts jittering again, but he can’t help himself. He feels nearly sick with nerves, waiting for whatever is next. Because three times— three times is a pattern. Three times means there’s almost definitely going to be a fourth. 

There is. 

This time it’s a box, a little bigger than his hand. He’s pretty sure this one isn’t a glitter bomb either, but he still hesitates. 

Stares, once he’s opened it. “Dude,” Ned says, craning over. “What is it?” 

“Uh,” Peter says, tilting the box so Ned can see too. “It’s a watch.” A really fancy looking watch; it’s not flashy, not like some of the really crazy watches Peter’s seen Tony wear, but sleekly elegant. Slim and dark and just— pretty. Something Peter could actually see himself wearing. 

“Is that a Piguet?” Flash says behind him and Peter startles. “Seriously? When did you nab yourself a rich sugar daddy?” He eyes Peter, a slow once over. “How? I mean, come on, Parker.” 

He says it all loud enough that people are staring, of course, and Peter’s face is so hot it hurts. “That’s not—” he says, “I’m not— I don’t! They’re not that kind of gifts!”

“Like you know anyone that could afford something like that,” Flash says before he saunters off. Why is he such a dick? 

“You’re not though, right?” Ned says, much quieter. Peter gives him a betrayed look and Ned holds up his hands. “I don’t think you would!” Ned says. “It’s just. Really weird, that’s all.”

“I know,” Peter says, staring down at the watch, and a little of the excited, pleased shine has been rubbed away by Flash making things all… sordid. For second, he almost just closes the box and shoves it in his backpack, but— no. No, he’s not going to do that. 

It fits like it was made to measure, and it looks good on him too. 

MJ shares fifth period with them; “So?” she says. “Was there more?” Peter holds up his wrist and MJ’s eyebrows rise. 

“Wow,” she says. “That’s actually really nice looking. I was kind of hoping for something flashier.” 

Peter glares at her. “This whole thing is flashy,” he mutters, but even if he’s feeling pretty embarrassed… he’s kind of enjoying it too. 

“Bets on what’s next?” MJ asks Ned. Ned shakes his head. Peter doesn’t say anything, but he’s pretty sure it’s going to be flowers again. 

Maybe he should have bet, because he’s right. It’s roses again, two dozen of them, a slight lighter red than the first, and every single petal is edged with gold. Not like, yellow flower color gold, but literal gold foil or paint or something; it actually shines under the light. 

Ned and MJ stare at them in silence right alongside him. “Well,” Mj says eventually. “That’s— flashier.” 

“But like, classy,” Ned says. “I wonder if that’s real gold. That’d be crazy, right? Can’t be.” 

Peter would almost be willing to bet it is. 

He’s really, really wishing he had the first clue what’s going on. 

He needs help carrying them to lunch, so Ned takes the smaller vase. (Okay, he could have carried them all but he would have had to sticky something and it might look weird.) He’s already getting plenty of attention; the glances and smiles from earlier have turned into stares and whispers, and in the cafeteria there’s all the other grades that haven’t seen things delivered. Peter kind of wants to hide out in the library for lunch or something, but he’s hungry. At least he can have a little break, right?

Wrong. So wrong. Because it seems like the second they set Peter’s flowers down, there’s a polite throat clearing behind him. 

Peter turns, and there’s a guy with a bunch of bags. “Um. Hi?” 

“Are you Peter Parker?” When Peter nods, the guys nods too and steps past him to put the bags on their table. They stare as he starts pulling out container after container after container, and there’s a noticeable hush at the tables around them, more and more people watching. 

“This is a new one for me,” the guys says, casually. “Never thought of doing something like this for Valentine’s? But I might steal the idea for myself, next year. Anyway. Happy Valentine’s Day; enjoy!” 

Peter pries open a container and the most amazing smell wafts out. His stomach straight up growls. “I… I guess this is lunch?” he says. Takes another look at the pile of containers. “Lunch for all three of us, actually.” 

“I am dying to know who is doing this,” MJ says, opening another container, and Ned’s not wasting any time either. 

“You and me both,” Peter says.

“Seriously,” Ned says and passes him a tray. “You don’t have any ideas at all?”

Peter shakes his head. 

The food is good; scratch that, the food is amazing. Somehow everything is hot and nothing is soggy and every single thing is something Peter likes. There’s a soup in particular that Peter makes Peter nearly moan when he takes the first bite. 

It’s… familiar? How— why does he know this dish? Where has he had it before?

He closes his eyes when he takes the next bite and tries to stop thinking for a second. Not very successfully, but it doesn’t matter because the memory hits him like a brick. 

He’s had this in Tony’s workshop. 

Peter doesn’t know the name of the place—though he’s pretty sure it’s a lot closer to Stark Tower than it is to his school—but he knows this dish. Tony orders in food for them pretty often and this had shown up once and Peter had eaten every bit of it. Had been really obvious in how much he liked it, because it showed up several more times without Tony ever saying a word about it. 

No one else would know that. 

“Peter?”

He looks up; Ned’s frowning at him. “You okay?” he says. “You were just staring at your food for ages.” 

“Yeah,” Peter says, his mouth dry. “Yeah, uh, I’m fine. I’m— yeah, fine.” He makes himself start eating again, but as amazing as it tastes he’s barely registering it, because Tony sent this. Tony had to have sent this. There’s no way someone else would just choose this out of the way, definitely does not deliver here restaurant, or this specific meal. And if Tony sent this, it means Tony sent everything else too. 

Peter’s doesn’t know what to do with that fact. Theory. No, fact. 

Tony sent him— why? Why would he do this? What possible reason could there be? It’s just— it’s crazy. Peter’s pretty sure it’s not a joke, even if Tony finds it funny, but that only makes it harder to understand. 

Is it pity? Did he hear Peter complaining about not getting things and decide to fake someone being into him so Peter wouldn’t feel left out? Does he feel sorry for Peter? 

Was he ever going to tell Peter it was him, or just let him keep wondering forever? 

He can’t wait for school to be over now, because he needs answers.

Fifth period, he knows exactly what to expect, and Tony—probably Tony, 99% sure Tony—doesn’t disappoint. Roses, more roses, over two dozen for sure but Peter’s not counting, white with dark, dark red edges. Roses, and every time Peter ever smells roses again he’s going to think of this; he doesn’t know if that makes him want to cry or not. 

Because even if Tony isn’t doing this for a laugh, or out of pity, he’s not doing it because he actually is interested in Peter like that. 

And Peter desperately, desperately wishes he was. 

By the time sixth period comes around, everyone in class knows that Peter Parker is (supposedly, thanks Flash) getting a gift every hour from his sugar daddy, and everyone is watching him, just waiting for what’s next. Peter hunches his shoulders and puts his head down and gets more and more tense as the minutes tick by and nothing appears. 

It’s not until the last ten minutes of class that the gift is delivered, late enough that Peter had started to hope that maybe that was it. This gift comes in another box, about the same size as the watch box but slimmer. Peter takes a deep breath before he opens it. 

Snaps it shut a minute later, before Ned’s even had a chance to lean over. 

Oh, god. 

“Peter,” Ned hisses. “What is it? Come on, man. Why do you look like that?”

Peter shakes his head; leans over and whispers in Ned’s ear. “It’s a key,” he says. “A— a car key.”

Ned’s just as wide eyed as Peter feels. “They got you a car?” Ned whispers back.

“I think so?” Peter says. He doesn’t know what else to think about the key and fob in the box. Or the little card tucked in with them: Don’t worry, FRIDAY has the wheel until I get the chance to show you some real driving.

He guesses Tony isn’t trying to hide after all. Oh my god, Tony got him a car. Probably a ridiculously expensive, ridiculously fast, ridiculously flashy car, and Peter doesn’t even know how to drive. Not really. Stealing Flash’s car doesn’t count for much. What is he going to do with a car? Where is he going to keep a car?

What is Tony thinking? 

He knows what he wishes Tony is thinking, as impossible and hopeless as it is. Because it is. It is, utterly and completely, no matter how Peter wishes this was Tony wanting to… to court him, in his usual over the top way. No matter how much Peter wants to think that this might actually mean something, it doesn’t. He knows that. 

“You still don’t know who it is?” MJ whispers, and it’s really unnerving the way so many people are staring at them. 

“Uh,” Peter says. “Actually—” He sighs. “It’s Tony.” 

For a minute, she doesn’t get it. “Tony— wait. Are you. You mean. Really?” 

“Does that mean you’re, you know,” Ned says, making vague gestures. “Together?”

“What? No! Of course not!” 

“So he just… does this sort of thing?” MJ asks.

“I don’t know,” Peter says. “I guess? I don’t know what he’s thinking.” 

“Does he even get that it’s super weird?” Ned says, and Peter shrugs. Everything Tony has been involved with that included Peter has been pretty weird. Where is this supposed to fall on that scale? 

Seventh period lasts forever, Peter resenting every second. He’s almost free. He’s so close to escaping and being able to ask Tony what the fuck is going on. Just half an hour. Just twenty minutes. Just—

“Peter Parker?”

No, no no no. 

He puts his hand up and his head down, and when he lifts it again, there are roses everywhere. Dozens and dozens and dozens, every one of them the dark red of the very first one. How many are there? Did Tony buy out an entire florist? What is he thinking? What is Peter going to do with all of them? He doesn’t even know how he could get them home. 

This is a nightmare; Peter puts his head back down and groans.

MJ laughs softly, and when he looks at her she’s sort of petting one of the roses. “He’s really going for some grand gesture thing, isn’t he,” she says. 

If Tony was— if Peter was— if they were actually together, or if Peter believed for a second this was leading there, this would be incredibly romantic. Really, really excessive and ridiculous, but still. Really romantic too. And Peter would still be blushing so hard he almost thinks it’s never going to fade, but he’d also be so— 

So happy. 

Instead, he just wants to cry. 

Miss Ahuja gives him permission to leave most of them in her room for a few hours, until he can figure out what to do with them, so Peter just takes the gold tipped ones and the yellow and red ones and the very first one with him. 

And almost runs right into Happy when he comes out of the classroom. 

“I— Happy?” Peter says, because this day just keeps getting weirder. 

“Hey, Peter,” Happy says. “I was told to help you carry stuff to the car. What kind of stuff are we talking about? Why can’t you get it all?”

“Um,” Peter says. Leans back and pushes the classroom door open; Happy pokes his head in and sighs. “Wait, the car?”

“So it’s like that,” Happy says, whatever that’s supposed to mean. “Alright, kid. Got any friends to help out?” 

“Yeah, um, Ned, can you—” and Ned’s already grabbing a vase, MJ right behind him. “Seriously though, the car?”

“The car,” Happy says. “Which I need the keys for. What?” he says when Peter frowns. “Tony had the thing dropped off, I guess.” 

“Right,” Peter says. “Because that makes perfect sense. Why would he—” He sighs. “Right. Keys.”

“Could be worse,” Happy says while Peter digs out the box and hands it to him. “Could be a giant bunny.”

“A— a what?”

“You don’t want to know.”

The car is not what Peter was expecting. Okay, he’s sure it’s incredibly expensive and fast, but it’s not flashy. At least, not overtly so, like a lot of the cars Tony drives. It’s silver and sleek and a convertible, so at least there’s still something wholly impractical about it. It takes them three trips to bring out all the roses and they completely fill the backseat, Peter having to stick a vase down by his feet as well. 

“Where am I taking you?” Happy asks. “Home? May’s going to have fun with this.”

Oh no. No. “Actually,” Peter says, “could you maybe take me to the tower? I, uh. Think I need to talk to Ton— Mr. Stark.” 

Happy snorts. “Going to read him the riot act, huh? Good luck with that. Not that he doesn’t deserve it,” he adds, looking over his shoulder. 

“Yeah,” Peter says, weakly. “Yeah, that.” 

It festers inside him on the drive, this awful little fragment of hope that’s been growing ever since lunch. This tiny voice that keeps saying, what if he does? What if he is? What if he feels something? 

It a really stupid voice and a stupid idea, but he has to ask something. Even if he can’t come out and ask it straight up, he has to at least ask something.

“Good luck,” Happy says when Peter climbs out. Pats him on the back. “Keys’ll be in the side pocket when you’re done.” Peter nods, not really paying any attention. 

Tony’s in the workshop. Of course he is. 

For a minute—for two, three, four, and FRIDAY doesn’t say anything so it’s okay—Peter just watches him, and wants. 

Tony notices him eventually, like he always does, even when he’s in the middle of something. “Hey!” he says. “How’s it going, kid?” He grins, slow and obviously pleased with himself. “Have a good day?”

Peter walks a little closer to him. “I— I had a really weird day,” he says. “Um. I mean, thank you? That was— really—” Words fail him and he waves his hands around vaguely; he doesn’t even really know what he’s trying to say.

“Oh, you’re wearing it,” Tony says. “Good, here— lemme show you something. Right, so, tap the face three times and then turn the outer ring clockwise.” Peter does, because at this point, why not. 

There’s a click, and then a moment later the watch is unfolding itself, spreading up his arm and down his palm. Is turning into a variation on his web-shooters. Peter stares at it.

“It doesn’t pack quite the punch your usual ones do,” Tony says, “but it’s easier to keep on hand all the time. Hopefully you can wear this anywhere without raising eyebrows, and it’ll be closer to hand then the nano ones even.”

Everything Tony has done today has been excessive and over the top and way, way too much, but this— this is the thing that breaks Peter. This is the thing that makes it obvious, makes it so, so obvious, that Tony put thought into this. That Tony didn’t just do this on a whim or for a laugh. 

Right?

“Tony,” Peter says, slowly. “What— what exactly did you mean, with all this?” 

“What did I mean?” Tony says, just as slowly, confused. 

“Was it— was it a joke? Or—”

“No!” Tony says, cutting him off. “God, no, it’s not a joke. Peter— shit. I just. You sounded so down about being invisible for Valentine’s, and I thought— that, that you could have something nice for it. Should have something nice for it. And I could fix that? I—” He sighs, rubbing his hand over his face. “I wanted to give you a nice day. And— a little flex, you know? Since you have to hold yourself back so much already, I thought— why not show them someone thinks you’re worth the world?” 

“Oh,” Peter says.

“I fucked up,” Tony says, “didn’t I. I’m sorry. I should have just— was it awful?”

“You didn’t— no,” Peter tells him, and he means it. “No, it wasn’t awful. It was nice, I did have a nice day. It’s just…”

“I know,” Tony says. “Too much.” 

Yeah, but. If they were— 

Peter liked it. 

“So,” he says. “It was because you wanted to be nice,” and it’s so, so hard to force the next words out. “Was… was that it? All it was?”

Tony hesitates, looking at him. “Yes?” he says. “Was— is there something else it should have been?”

He was wrong. He knew it, he knew it and yet it still felt like a weight sinking right down though his chest, into his stomach. “No,” he says. Shakes his head. 

“Peter,” Tony says. “Was there something else you thought it was?” And, a moment later, when Peter can’t quite bring himself to say anything but can’t quite manage to leave either, “Was there something you wanted it to be?”

He should say something. He should say something, because roses and watches that turn into web-shooters and Tony wanting people to think someone loved Peter. He should— “It’s just,” he says. “It’s. You know. Valentine’s Day. I thought— I hoped—” No, that’s not right. 

“I wanted it to actually be because you—” God, he’s so terrible at this. 

“Kid,” Tony says so softly, and this is where he tries his hardest to let Peter down gently, isn’t it. “Come here, will you?” 

There’s no point in saying no, so Peter goes to him. Comes even closer when Tony gestures him forward, and then Tony reaches out and sets his hand on Peter’s hip and pulls him a step closer, until Peter’s standing between Tony’s legs. There’s a faint flutter of hope trying to rise up again, and Peter tells it to fuck off. This isn’t that. 

“I’d be lying if I said that hadn’t occurred to me,” Tony says, and Peter stares at the casing on Tony’s chest, unable to look higher. “I’d— I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t on my mind while I was deciding what to get you, that I haven’t— haven’t thought of you like that. But that doesn’t make it okay.”

He’s not hearing this right. He can’t be. 

“I couldn’t do that to you, Peter,” Tony says, and he sounds tired. “It’s more than a little fucked up for me to even be interested, much less act on it. I don’t— you’ve got your whole life ahead of you, and I don’t want you to end up damaged in the ways this sort of shit can. You don’t need that living in your head forever, don’t need me dragging you down.”

He is hearing this right. What the fuck. He is— and Tony is— 

“Why are you so sure it’s going to go so wrong?” Peter asks. “It doesn’t have to?”

“It does,” Tony says. “It will. It— it always does, Peter. There are some gaps you just can’t bridge. And when it’s your first, it doesn’t ever really fade. It just. It doesn’t. I don’t want you to end up like—” 

He sighs, and Peter finally looks up. Tony looks as miserable as Peter feels. “I want you to be better than me, kid.” 

Peter thinks. Chews on his lip and takes his time because he has to do this right, he has to say this right, and Tony gives him that time. Just waits, quietly watching him, his hand burning on Peter’s hip. 

“You keep saying what I don’t need,” Peter says finally. “And what you want, and like. I know you don’t think I’ll make smart decisions, and I know you want to protect me, but… why can’t I know what I need? What about what I want? For once, can I get to choose what happens to me?”

Why does everyone always think they know what’s better for him than he does? Maybe he’s still a teen, but he’s not stupid. 

Tony’s pulled back a little, looking at him closer. “Alright,” he says, after what feels like ages. “What do you want?”

Maybe— maybe he can hope. “Can we try?” Peter asks. “For a little? At least see what happens? Because—” He swallows, hard. “Because I really want this, even if you think it’s a bad idea.”

“I just don’t want you to do something you’ll end up regretting.”

“Well,” Peter says, “that’s kind of already happened. A lot. So.” 

The silence goes on and on and on, neither of them moving, and Peter doesn’t know what else to say. 

So he ends up just blurting out the next thought in his head, like an idiot. “Would you— would you kiss me? Please?”

He doesn’t think it’s going to happen, even when Tony’s hand settles against his cheek, even when Tony leans in, even when Tony’s lips are almost on his. It doesn’t seem possible that it’s happening, but it is, and oh, fuck, it’s so good. It’s soft and barely more than brushing their lips together and even so, when Tony pulls back Peter sways after him, this tiny noise catching in his throat.

If the first one was good, this kiss is mindblowing, Tony’s lips opening under his and his tongue against Peter’s and his arms around Peter, pressing them together. Peter wraps his arms around Tony’s neck and clings, moans into Tony’s mouth and wishes he didn’t have to breathe. 

“Jesus, Peter,” Tony whispers. “You can’t make noises like that, or I’m not going to be able to control myself.”

“Don’t,” Peter says, trying to tug him back. “Don’t bother. I don’t even want you to.” 

Tony laughs and while Peter could make him get closer, he doesn’t want to use his strength like that. 

“Okay,” Tony says, “so I knew it was a bad idea the second I bought it, and I didn’t think I was ever actually going to be able to give it to you, but I got you another gift.” Peter kind of doesn’t care all that much, but if Tony’s telling him now, there’s probably a reason. 

“It’s over there,” Tony says, nodding at a different desk, and when Peter—very reluctantly—steps away to go there, Tony’s right behind him.

There’s a flat, rectangular box on the table, black, about as big as Peter’s laptop; it’s surprisingly light when he picks it up. 

Inside, there’s this— this pale, pale pink, almost white, thing. This thing that’s all mesh and lace and a lot of straps and Peter’s not even really sure how it should go on, but his breath catches anyway with how hard and fast the want hits him. 

“Please,” Tony says, pressed right up against his back, his chin on Peter’s shoulder. “Please tell me if this is too much, too fast, but I’m thinking you could go upstairs and put that on, so I can take it right back off. Yes? No?”

Peter can’t breathe. He nods, over and over, vigorously, and Tony laughs against his neck. “You want to try that in words, baby?”

Baby, Peter thinks, his brain completely short circuiting. “Yes. Yes,” he manages eventually, “I could absolutely do that. I would really really like to do that. I would love to do that.”

Tony sucks in a breath, and Peter can feel how he shudders, clinging a little tighter to Peter for a moment. “Okay,” Tony says, so softly Peter’s not even sure it was meant for him. “Good.” He steps back. “I’ll see you soon.”

Peter picks the box up; makes it halfway to the door before he gathers enough courage to stop, to turn back and say “Tony?”

Tony’s head snaps up, and he looks worried. 

“Don’t take too long.”

There’s a second where Tony’s eyes just go wide, and then he’s smiling, grinning, growing slowly across his face. It’s so much happier than he’s looked since Peter showed up, and it feels— it feels incredible to know he made Tony smile like that. He made Tony happier. 

He’s going to make Tony feel a lot of things. He’s sure of it.

*

AO3

[escapewithbts]

Unexpected Envy (Part One) - Jimin

———————————————

The back of your throat burned as you downed the last sip of your vodka martini. It was already your third of the evening but you had no plan on stopping anytime soon.

Someone else did, however.

"Hey, do you think maybe you should slow down a little, (y/n)?" you best friend Jimin said into your ear from his seat on the couch next to you.

So controlling, you thought. Who is he to tell me to slow down?

In fact, Jimin's words just made you want to drink more.

"Actually, I think I'll have another. I'll be right back," you told him, standing up and walking away before he could protest.

As you made your way to the bar, you glanced back and noticed his worried expression follow you. You knew his words were out of care, not out of judgement, but that almost made it worse.

You see, you were a walking stereotype. You had fallen in love with your best friend. At first you avoided telling him, too afraid of his reaction. But you thought you saw signs. Thought maybe he felt something, too. So you went for it. You wanted that whole "best friends fall in love fairytale ending" crap.

But you didn't get it. You told Jimin how you felt about him. A week ago to this day as a matter of fact. But it wasn't a fairytale ending. It was a nightmare. He had said the words no one confessing their feelings wants to hear... "I just want to stay friends", along with a "You deserve someone who can focus fully on you" but "I hope this doesn't ruin our friendship because you mean a lot to me". Straight out of a Rom-Com.

What they don't show in Rom-Coms is the hurt. The one who gets rejected cries and eats chocolate ice cream while listening to sad music and watching classic romance movies.

But in reality it's not like that. No, you were so heartbroken you could literally feel the ache in your chest; it had been like that for a week straight. You could hardly sleep. You wanted to go back to the time before you had said anything, when the idea of you and Jimin happily in a relationship was just a figment of your imagination.

You couldn't stop being his friend, though. Not having Jimin at all was worse than not having him as your significant other. So through all the pain, you had to smile, had to pretend like it wasn't that big of a deal. Just play it off and act like you were fine with the fact that you and Jimin were only ever going to be just friends.

But as the week went on it was getting harder and harder to pretend like nothing was wrong, especially since you weren't only best friends, but also roommates for the time being. Jimin was letting you stay with him at his penthouse apartment while you got settled in Seoul from moving abroad. It made everything so much worse, having to constantly see him. And Jimin wasn't stupid. He was almost annoyingly observant, always on alert and aware of what the people around him were feeling. He could tell things weren't okay.

Which is why he invited you to his music label's year end company party. They had rented a club just for the talent, their management and agents and some staff, and everyone was allowed to bring a plus one. So here you were. Jimin's plus one.... but only ever as a friend, of course.

"A vodka martini, please!" you shouted to the bartender over the music blasting through the speakers.

You adjusted your black dress that stopped just above your knees and showed off your shape perfectly. At least you felt like you looked good on the outside.

Suddenly you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around to see who it was and became face to face with a member of the band TomorrowxTogether. You remembered his name to be Yeonjun, you had met briefly but only in passing whenever you were at events with Jimin and BTS.

"Hi, you're (y/n), right?" he asked, giving you a warm smile.

You smiled back.

"Yes, and you're Yeonjun. I think we've met a couple times."

He nodded.

"That's right. Did you come here with Jimin-hyung?"

You answered with a nod as the bartender placed your fresh drink on the counter next to you.

"Ah okay, okay, I thought so. He's a really great guy, I look up to him a lot. He's also very handsome."

You chuckled politely, impressed by his obvious fluent English.

"Yes, he is."

Tell me something I don't know, you thought.

Yeonjun looked down shyly and continued,

"I hope it is not too bold of me to ask, but is Jimin-ah your... ar-are you two, you know... together?"

Your stomach flipped and you immediately had to take a big swig of your martini.

No, but thanks for the reminder.

You smiled at him the best you could, trying to radiate confidence even though the question had caused the opposite effect.

"No," you said flatly, "We are just friends."

There was that ache in your chest again.

Yeonjun's face lit up at your response. It was cute, in a puppy-dog sort of way.

"Great, well then, I was wondering if maybe... you'd like to dance with me?"

This was perfect, exactly what you needed. A nice distraction from the man who didn't want you who was waiting for you back at the booth. Yeonjun seemed kind enough, and you had just enough liquid courage running through your veins to not care about making a fool of yourself on the dance floor.

Jimin who?

"Yes," you set your fourth empty glass on the bar and smiled, "I would like to dance with you."

Yeonjun took your hand and lead you out to the dancefloor. The music was so loud you could hardly hear yourself think, but you preferred it that way. You and Yeonjun made your way towards the middle, shifting through dancing bodies all around you. You faced each other and starting moving back and forth to the beat.

"I'm not a good dancer!" you yelled to him.

He smiled sweetly back at you.

"It's okay! Just follow my lead!"

He then grabbed your hand in his and twirled you under it, then wrapped his arms around your waist from behind before spinning you out away from him. Your hair swung around you, and you threw up your free arm before ending up back in Yeonjun's arms. You continued dancing this way, him taking the lead and keeping you close while still being respectful. You were having so much fun, and for the first time in a week none of your thoughts consisted of Jimin.

"You're a great dancer!" you shouted to Yeonjun as he twirled you around again.

"I've had a little practice!" he yelled back, earning himself a giggle from you which caused him to grin.

All of a sudden, out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a red blazer shuffling through the crowded dance floor and heading towards the two of you. You knew who it was.

You felt a warm hand on the middle of your back. The mere contact made your heart pound.

You and Yeonjun stopped dancing. Why did it feel like you were both suddenly in trouble?

"Ah, oh, hello, Jimin-hyung!" Yeonjun smiled and bowed deeply at the older boy who had appeared in front of him.

Jimin nodded his head back at him but his face showed no emotion.

"Yeonjun," he replied curtly.

Then he turned to you. The look on his face caught you by surprise. His eyes were dark, his face looked so stoic it almost frightened you. He didn't look like the happy, caring Jimin he usually was. You weren't sure what he was feeling, but he looked almost evil, and dare you say... sexy?

Stop! You scolded yourself. You had to stand your ground.

"(y/n)-ah..." he began, staring straight into your eyes and cocking his head, "it's getting kind of late, don't you think? I'm leaving now and I believe I am your ride."

You noticed Yeonjun's face turn into panic, fearing he disrespected his older hyung by keeping you. But you were your own person, Jimin brought you here but he didn't own you.

"Then go, Jimin, it's okay," you wrapped your hand around Yeonjun's forearm and stepped closer to him, "I'm having a lot of fun with Yeonjun so I think I'll stay."

Jimin didn't take his eyes off yours. Yeonjun shifted uncomfortably but couldn't stop the sheepish grin from appearing on his lips at the mention of you having fun with him.

"But how will you get home?" Jimin asked, clearly impatient.

You waved your hand.

"Oh I'll just take a taxi or something, don't worry about it, I'll figure it out."

There was a pause as the two of you stared at each other. You knew what Jimin was thinking, he was your best friend after all. You could tell he was not happy with you staying here without him, almost like he was telepathically urging you to come with him. But he couldn't fight your independence and knew it was pointless to try. You watched his face fall briefly, like a look of sadness, but then a signature warm, eyes-almost-closed Jimin smile appeared and he reached out to shake Yeonjun's hand.

"Okay, okay, well then you take care of her, Yeonjun," he said in Korean, "She's my best friend, you know."

You internally winced at his use of those words. Yeonjun bowed.

"Yes, of course, Hyung."

Jimin turned back to you. He looked a little defeated, and the side of you that cared about him so much more than you have ever cared about another human being suddenly felt badly about him leaving without you.

He leaned in to you so you could hear him better, his full pink lips barely grazing your ear. Your whole body broke out in goosebumps.

"Just... be careful, (y/n)-ah." he whispered, before stepping back and giving you a smile.

Then he lifted his ring-covered fingers in a wave and turned, disappearing into the sea of people.

*

Part Two

Masterlist

[laurenairay]

Ooooooh can I get number one with maybe Jonathan Toews...? 😘

I hope you enjoy this @texanstarslove – I may have gotten a little carried away, but I had fun with this one 😘

“You drive me crazy, but I can’t get you out of my head”

* 

You liked to think that your life was pretty simple. A good solid job, a small but warm apartment, your parents were healthy and happy…and you had a casual friend with benefits arrangement with Jonathan Toews.

Okay, maybe not so simple.

You met Jon one night in bar just over a year ago – a few drinks, a few flirty words, and you were putty in his hands. You hadn’t hesitated in heading back with him to his house, and after a night of incredible sex (and let’s be honest, the next morning too), you’d given him your number, never thinking you’d hear from him again. Instead, a few nights later, he’d called you to see if you were free. Again, you met at a bar, had a few drinks, and headed back to his. From there, a cycle was born. Sometimes you already had plans that you were happy to stay at. Sometimes you didn’t hear from him in weeks due to his busy schedule. Once you’d actually dated someone for two months and the whole arrangement stopped – until you broke up with the guy and Jon called you up straight away. There were no strings, no ties, no expectations set out – he’d suggested these mutually beneficial hook-ups, and you’d agreed. How could you not? Everyone knew exactly how hot he was, and he knew exactly how to drive you wild in his bed.

And that brings you to today, this evening, right now, where you were in a bar almost exactly the same as the one that you’d originally met Jon in. Being a Friday night, you’d gone out for a few drinks with your work colleagues – just as they were making noises about heading home, Jon had texted to see where you were. You’d told him the name of the bar, thinking that he would meet you and the two of you would head back to his straight away. Instead, he turned up with a whole bunch of his teammates, only slipping away to say hello when they were all settled.

Because that was how it worked between the two of you – everything was kept quiet. The two of you had your fun in secret, with no pressure to be in the public eye. To be honest, that was what you had wanted when you saw him the second, the third, the fourth time. None of the pressure, all of the sex. You were too busy for any kind of real commitment. What you and Jon had was easygoing and fun – it still was, so the feelings that you had grown over time were pushed away and buried.

You weren’t going to ruin this for anything. Even if it meant you knew one day he would break your heart.

After another couple of drinks, you’d moved to the dancefloor, hoping that this would rile him up enough to remember that the two of you were in public still, but instead of letting you grind on him for a dance and then suggesting you get an uber, Jon had been wrapped around you for at least three dances now, the two of you not even hidden in the crowd. And you could still see his teammates from here, something he usually tried to avoid…what was he doing?

You inhaled sharply as he started mouthing at your neck, his kisses sending jolts down your spine as his hands squeezed your hips.

It was one thing to dance so openly but to be as brazen as this? Well…

“You’d better be careful Captain, or people will start getting the wrong idea about us,” you said softly, a note of warning in your voice.

“Let them watch,” he growled, “Let them think what they want,”

“What?” you asked, confused, gasping he nipped your earlobe.

No, he made it abundantly clear…and you weren’t going to get played around like this!

“You said you didn’t want anything serious. Anything public. What are you doing?” you frowned, turning your head to look at him.

Instead of answering, Jon used his grip on your hips to spin you sharply around to face, and you had to grab onto his shoulders to stop yourself from stumbling. What the f-

“I want you,” he said lowly, his eyes flashing dark.

You took a step back from him, your head reeling. He wasn’t making any sense…

“I don’t…I…I think I need some water,” you blurted.

You walked away from him with your heart pounding, heading straight to the bar, but as you reached the side of it, Jon caught up with you and stopped you with a hand on your arm.

“Wait, please, I-”

“What are you doing? What’s going on?” you asked, interrupting him as you whirled around to face him.

Why was he changing everything? Why now?

“I’m sorry, I just…I needed to tell you,” he insisted.

“Tell me what? That you want me? I’m well aware that you want me, we’ve been hooking up for over a year now,” you frowned. What was he saying?

“No, it’s more than that,” he groaned.

More than what?

Jon huffed, rubbing the back of his neck as he seemed to think over what words to say. You just stayed silent, your heart in your throat, not daring to break the moment.

“You drive me crazy, but I can’t get you out of my head,” he eventually admitted.

What? What the fuck? You quickly shook your head, frown firmly on your lips, planting one hand on your hip as you stared him down.

“I drive you crazy?” you spluttered.

He’d always called the shots and he knew it.

Jon barked a laugh, scrubbing a hand over his hair. His eyes were a little frantic, his free hand clenching and unclenching at his side. What was wrong with him?

“I made a mistake, trying to think I could ever be casual with you,” Jon said humourlessly, a self-deprecating smile on his lips, “I thought that was all you would ever want from me, could ever want, and I figured if that’s all I could get then I wasn’t going to lose my chance. When you dated that guy you broke my heart – and when I heard that you were single I was over the moon. But my god I just can’t handle not having more anymore,” he admitted.

Holy shit. Holy shit. Your jaw dropped, his words stunning you completely. He wanted…more? How long had he been feeling this way?

Jon sighed, his forced smile turning sad.

“I get it, okay? Me having feelings isn’t what you signed up for,” he murmured, voice barely audible above the music.

“Jon…”

You trailed off, words lost in your shock. How could you even think when he’d just blown your world wide open? Jon seemed to sense your hesitation, sense it in the way that it wasn’t bad, just overwhelmed, because he stepped closer to you and took your hands in his.

“Tell me that you don’t want more between us. That you don’t want an actual relationship. Because just say the words and I’ll be gone,” he said softly.

“Jon…”

He pressed a quick kiss to your lips, cutting you off, before he rested his forehead against yours for a moment. Your heart felt like it was beating out of your chest, your mouth dry, and your knees like jelly. Was this really happening? Was this real life?

“I want you to be mine. I want to be yours. I want to hold your hand in public, take you out on actual dates, make a life with you. Please tell me you feel the same?” he asked, an edge of desperation in his voice.

There was only one answer you could give.

“Of course I do, Jon. I’ve wanted more than this for so long! I just thought…I thought you didn’t want more,” you admitted.

Jon laughed, the biggest smile spreading across his face, and he clutched your hands even tighter.

“Holy shit we’ve both been idiots not saying anything then,” he said in disbelief.

You just giggled, shaking your head. Now you knew how he really felt, there was no way you were letting go of him now.

“I swear I’m more romantic than this busy bar, I’m going to take you out somewhere really nice,” Jon insisted.

“I don’t want anything fancy,” you grinned, shaking your head again, “I just want you,”

Jon grinned before he looped a hand behind your head and pulled you into a deep kiss. It didn’t matter how long you had taken to get to this point – this was all you had wanted, right here with him.

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 137 Poll Results

This month’s poll results brought to you by: staraves, crunchwrap, momtaku, and Giovata

Important!! This month’s poll is looooooong so click the read more knowing you’ll be scrolling for a long while.

Also new this month, data junkies rejoice! if you’d like to see all 131 pages of write-ins from this month you can. View as doc or pdf

  RATE THE CHAPTER 2,188 Responses

Chapter 137, “Titans”, was one of the most polarizing chapters in recent memory, provoking strong reactions both positive and negative.  When we compiled the results, the chapter averaged 4.09 on a 1-5 scale, which places it 37th out of the 47 chapters we’ve ranked. No matter how you view it, it’s still a solid rating.

it was beautiful!!

While the pacing was somewhat spotty, overall, the chapter was absolutely fantastic and very fulfilling and answered a lot of the things I had wanted answered.

i was surprised by the events and was left crying and speechless

I'm never judging a chapter by leaks again. This was awesome!

Regardless of how good the next two chapters are, they won’t fix this one. 126 was bad, but it was just bad. This is bad and disappointing.

I realised that there are 2 chapters left so I read it peacefully while crying

It was a great setup for the final

I mean, this is complete shit and I've completely given up hope in the ending, but at least the story finally progressed at little this chapter.

i thought it was amazing. sad, yes, but amazing. i loved reading zeke and armin’s conversation in the Paths. i just really hope eren doesn’t die. with all the deaths that’s happened, his is the only one i won’t be able to bare. i already lost my favorite character, sasha, i can’t lose him too.

I had no reason to cry but I did anyways 👍

  WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 2,169 Responses

Before we get to the MVP results we’d like to make one quick shout out to a past poll. In 135 we asked who would be the one to detonate the explosives. Of the 1,121 responses that month, only 29 people correctly predicted it would be Jean. So while Jean only received 6.8% of the MVP vote for this act, we think those 29 people deserved some acknowledgement.

With Zeke and Armin comprising more than 20 pages of the chapter, it’s no surprise the majority of favorite moments centered around them. “Zeke and Armin’s discussing of the meaning of life” garnered one-fifth of all responses (20.2%), followed by “Zeke seeing the beauty of the world” (14.7%).  “Levi making good on his promise” (14.5%) was the third most selected option. “Armin reminiscing about the happy moments of his past”  was fourth (13.6%). The final option with double digit results was the cliffhanger ending,  “Armin saying goodbye to Eren before exploding” (10.3%).

everything in this chapter was amazing, there's literally nothing that doesn't makes me happy (except Zeke's death, it made me cry-)

Zeke‘s reflection and death are my favorite panels in the manga. It lives rent free in my mind. This is my favorite chapter of the manga so far.

I liked how Isayama had Jean reuse the suicidal blockhead nickname

I loved seeing Levi take a sort of protective, fatherly role when helping Gabi take out the Okapi Titan. And seeing him finally fulfill his promise and vow to Erwin is refreshing and makes me feel happy.

I loved the conversation between Zeke and Armin. Zeke was always nihilistic, he saw life as dry and meaningless. Armin is on the opposite - he found the meaning of life in the little happy moments. He taught Zeke that life isn't only about multiplication , but about higher, happier and more spiritual things, like love, having fun or watching sunsets and sunrises. I'm glad that Zeke found his own meaning of life and understood that there was nothing wrong about him being born on this world and he would do it once again, if he had a chance. We can add their conversation to the list of the best conversations in the manga.

it was a great chapter, and Armin & Zeke's talk was the highlight for me.

i love that scene where levi was protecting gabi from falling off falco's titan

Armin transforming and saying bye to Eren gave me absolute chills.

♡ This chapter has one of the touching scenes on AOT, because of everyone's helos moment, the unexpected character development, the fulfillment of the promise, worthy sacrifices, the reunion of the well known past titan shifters especially helping all the alliances, and the unexpected goodbyes.

  WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER'S MVP? 2,165 Responses

There were two stand-outs in this chapter. Zeke won MVP by an Eldian ass hair at 35.9% of the vote, with Armin a smidge behind at 35.5%. Third place goes to a truly majestic cameo by the Cambrian explosion at 8.4%. Honorable mentions go to the horse in fourth (6.1%), Levi with his head-spinning moves (5.4%), and Reiner (maybe) Helos Braun (4.9%).

I LOVE ZEKEEKEKKEKE

MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN

Not crazy about Armin's "Talk no Jitsu" being the end-all solution but I reluctantly voted him MVP because there is no way in hell the brat who killed Sasha deserves anything like it even without being in only one panel

Zeke and Armin carried the chapter, after Levi and Gabi.

Falco is still best boy

Zoook <3

  WE BID FAREWELL TO THE BEAST TITAN THIS CHAPTER WITH THE DEATH OF ZEKE. LONG-TIME FOLLOWERS OF THE MANGA WILL REMEMBER THE FIRST SKETCH OF THE MYSTERIOUS FIGURE INTRODUCED AS THE ONE HOLDING THE KEY TO THE STORY. WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE WAY HE WENT OUT? 2,177 Responses

Looking back at that old sketch, it really does feel like the end of an era. 44.6% of respondents thought Zeke’s end was a good and poetic way to go out. 29% were sad to see him go but were glad he had some agency - even throwing out a last bit of sass at Levi! 12.4% didn’t like how it happened as it was somewhat sudden and maybe not as epic as it could’ve been. 7.6% question if it’s really the end for Zeke quite yet, and 6.4% have no strong opinions about it.

A fitting end for a great character

I think his ending was very poetic but could have been executed much better.

In terms of writing, he was the third best character in the post-time skip section of the story. He deserved a better ending.

funny monke man... I...

10/10 character, one of my all time favourites. In theory, I like the idea of him sacrificing himself to stop Eren, but with the build up he had (mainly the way Grisha said he would save everyone) it was an extremely disappointing death.

I love him and via development. The thing is that the way he was killed was rushed as fuck and kinda killed my enjoyment of his last moments. If worked better, pretty sure I would have cried.

I really liked the way Zeke's character arc ended, and he remains one of my favorite characters in the series.

I'm happy that he appreciated life at the end. I wish he could survive this

He was an incredible character. I'm going to miss the monkey.

i have always loved zeke as a character, his personality and everything about him was just amazing, kinda sad he's gone now but atleast he got an epic death

I have loved Zeke since the beginning and I am so sad he is gone. But thankfully his death was well-done and he went out happily, realizing the true beauty of the world.

I was underwhelmed...I hoped to get much more out of him than what we did. But I guess this is expected when you introduce like 10 new characters and try to cram their entire arcs in less than 30 chapters at the expense of the original protagonists' (I'm not salty...I swear...).

I'm happy that his arc ended the way it did. As the above question said, it was poetic. But more than anything else, it was meaningful.

i dont rlly care bout him before, but when he died i cried. idk why lol 👴

he deserved so much better

I wanted him to die, but not killed by Levi.

He's not dead

I was actually affected more by his final words rather than his death. I think Isayama concluded his character pretty well. Now he can finally play catch in peace.

  HOW HAS YOUR OPINION OF ZEKE CHANGED WITH THIS CHAPTER? 2,164 Responses

47.1% already liked or loved Zeke before this chapter. 22.5% felt much softer towards him after this chapter but not enough to really say they like him. 21.5% enjoyed his chill philosopher side so much they would’ve liked to see more of him after all. Finally, 8.9% were not convinced and still don’t care for him.

I've always found him interesting. I love how his role in the story evolved as time went on. One of the best characters in Attack on Titan.

I mean, when they released his flashbacks as a child, I already started sympathising with him. Also his paths adventure with Eren. But this chapter really solidified it for me. The guy was just a sad boy who wanted love and thought he was doing the right thing.

He was an "end justify the means " person. I don't like him still.

I mean... it was nice to see him realise that he wouldn't mind being born again, but I was still a bit miffed by the fact that he still believed that his euthanasia plan was the way to go (it sort of diluted the impact of the conversation between him and Armin). Also liked that he acknowledged the innocent people he had murdered, so I'd give his character a 6/10.

my rating on him went up a lot, but i do think that it was a bit quick for him to turn

Isayama finally got me to feel for him in the end, but it took a damn long time.

wow he actually almost grew up in his last moments, congrats to him

Probably my favourite character now.

♡ All this time I've been hating Zeke. Call me childish but I do even hate him more to the extent that I wan't him to die a horrible death, just because he gave problems to my fave character Levi. But now that he's changed and gone I feel bad and sad. But I accepted his fate and that he is dead for good.

I've always enjoyed Zeke's character. Ever since picking up the manga after Season 1 what feels like an eternity ago and he's one of my favorite characters. That being said... This chapter made me dislike him a bit.

His character was ruined in a single chapter.

His growth has been interesting to watch. I was somewhat lukewarm on him before this chapter, but his willingness open his mind and accept the life given to him made me appreciate him much more.

I never liked Zeke but at the end I really liked his character development

he’s still a dick

I am a lot more at peace with his character with the development of the recent chapters. I can't say the same for my first impression of him and what he did to Erwin's gang. Still he's a very well written chatacter and I wish he got more moments to bond with Grisha.

I thought something important or something big were gonna happen but then boom he died

I used to hate him but the more get got to know him the more I understood his character. Overall an intresting and well written charcter.... i still hate him tho hahaha but less than before.

I used to hate him but when they showed his past & how he didn’t get love from anyone I started to really like & understand him

I used to hate him tbh but after chapter 137 he turned into one of my favorite characters to bad hes dead ���

Honestly his story hit me a lot harder than expected, and it was amazing to see him go from totally nihilistic to a little hopeful at his last moments

Honestly I'm just impressed by that long journey. I've don't recall ever changing my opinion on a single character so many times.

I hated him from the beginning for what he did to Mike, and his actions during RtS didn't improve my opinion either. Even his sad backstory didn't influence how I felt about him. And then in chapter 137 a tiny miracle happened, and moments before he died I actually felt something. Sadness. Empathy. Respect, even.  Goodbye Zeke, you were a great character.

  ZEKE’S HAD QUITE A JOURNEY, FROM SCARY MONKE TO MEME MONKE TO SAD MONKE TO ENLIGHTENED MONKE. NOW THAT HE’S GONE, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS, WHETHER POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE, ON ZEKE’S CHARACTER AS A WHOLE? 1,199 Responses

We had A LOT of responses to this one - we’ve included as many as possible without the list becoming absurdly long! If you’d like to see all of the write-ins, go back to the top of this document for the full link.

I loved Zekes character. Even as he attacked Paradis Island you could see his methodical viewpoint on their roles in all of this. He always was working the end game and their ability to not be used as pawns. We may not have always agreed with his path and believe me, there were moments I hated him. So many, but he also knew his moment in this time and what his role was. His death was a righteous one and I loved that Levi was able to fulfill his promise.

I thought his character was probably one of the best in the story, with a very well defined beliefs/viewpoint and a bunch of interesting characterwork.

I'll miss the Zook memes

I'm glad he got to understand that the world is beautiful before dying, I was angry because of all the things he did but chapter by chapter I came to realise  how sad his life was, he only had little moments to be happy and be a normal kid/person, I'm not justifying his actions but I'm not judging him either.

I'm going to miss him :/

I love Zeke as a character. He is well written on his own and also has a drastic effect on a lot of characters. I think that Zeke realizing that there are other ways to look at life and his way was not the most convenient one makes the viewer realize that no one is wrong and no one is right. I think his death was pleasing enough and he look liked he didn't have major regrets in life, other than the one he discussed with Armin.

At first he seemed to me a very cruel and conflictive character but he has had a great development and a dignified closing for his unfortunate path

Top 5 best written character

IF ONLY GRISHA THREW A FUCKING BALL AT HIM ONCE IN A WHILE :((((((

A complex and well written and likable however I still can't forgive him after Erwin

A good character, definitely one of the most interesting of SnK.

a good guy(?) at least he's listening

A good written character , loved his arc and how it ended

I think Zeke was one of the only characters that had some understandable motivations.

"Go back, I want to be monke!"

He was a really important character to the whole plot. His presence always influences the story heavily. I am kinda neutral to what to feel about him.

He was a typical Yeager - only the way he believed should be what all the others had to believe too. So I was glad that he turned around in this last chapter of his.

He was a walking meme then and now he is one of the most complex characters in the series, maybe with another father he would have been happy

He was a well defined character, with adequate back-story to understand his perspective. I cannot say he was likeable or relatable though, except from the moments he was showing some kindness to his subordinates.

He was always a good guy

He was always alone

he was always being used and now i’m crying

he was badass but still idiot

He was brainwashed with no good childhood..i feel sorry for him

He was brought up as kid without loves from his own parents until mister Tom ksaver shows him love and take good care of him as if Zeke was his son so there’s no negative thought about him as he need to do what he need to in order to save the world

Isayama once called him the ""key of the story"", and indeed he was : his character arc concluding to a philosophical answer to his existencial angst that brings forward the key statement of the story : the world is cruel but beautiful.

i felt bad for they way he grew up and when he saw how Grisha actually took care of Eren. i enjoyed his character development

I found him to be quite intriguing. His double cross of both Marley and his people with he euthanasia plan was a treat to read.

I get his motivations, and can sympathize, but genocide is rarely the answer.

I love how Zeke has been having his own character arc since Paths with him making peace with Grisha and seeing how beautiful life can be.

I loved Zeke. Not in season 3 but after reading the manga & reading his backstory my thoughts on him changed. I loved the sarcastic & funny moments with him & Levi.

i'm happy with the development he got, but i'm angry that he was suppossed to be 11/10 smart and he made the dumbest decisions ever. like trusting eren, for example.

I'm just sad Zeke is dead(seriously don't know if he's actually dead) but every time, I would always be reminded of Mike, and how Zeke let him die cruelly by the hands of not only a titan, but three of them.

I'm mad that he did betrayed eren, but im happy he got to choose when he died n how his final moments he liked them.

I'm really really glad he found the meaning of life. after being manipulated all his entire life and knowing that the world was cruel from a young age he decided to go thru with his goals even if it meant nothing in the long term to him (like his plan for paradis) but after his talk with armin his character completely changed for me. Now I understand him more and understand his character. I feel bad for him. mega bad

*sigh* , i have no idea 🙃

A guy that has shady goals but finally realized about the beauty of life which makes him sacrifice himself for the better future and people that fights for it. A good character.

A hillarious guy.

A necessary evil, and really sympathetic but still apart of me is glad he kicked the bucket

A perfect antagonist

a perfectly human and complex character. really loved his contribution to the story.

A pretty great character. One of my favorites.

A really well written character in my opinion

A solid character

A tragic character. A guy who never experienced love and ended up feeling "death is his only salvation."

A tragic story, great leader, never got too attached to him though

A very lovable monke, keep thotting it up in PATHS king

He was a badass man  who sacrifies his live for the  good of humanity

He was a character that never experienced parental love thus he wasn't able to cherish the little moments and understand the meaning of life. I have positive thoughts about him, because I am thinking what his character would be If he had a normal life as a kid

He was a good and tragic victim who became a victimizer in his pain

He was a good boi. Savage, cold and calculating, yes. But in my heart, he was a good boi who stayed loyal to his goals untill the end. I'll miss you zeke.

he was a good character while it lasted, i’m not happy nor sad that he’s dead now, but he was very well written

He was a good character. Still don't like him though

He was a good mysterious character that kept me on edge whenever he was on screen. Didnt know whether to trust him or not and I liked that.

He was a great character and I wish we could’ve seen more of him.

He was a great character overall he had a great character development in my opinion as he sided with the scouts. I'll miss him ofc but I'm glad that he got to choose when to die.

he was a great character, helped the story go amazing

A wHoLe AsS MoNkE

He was a major factor in the story without zeke we wouldn’t be where we are now I personally loved his character he was someone that was prepared to die for his beliefs which I can respect although can’t forgive him for killing all they scouts

He was a misunderstood character and by the end more people hopefully got it.(like I did) But he is now dead monke

He was a really entertaining character and I'm going to miss him.

He was a really good character who in my opinion, got great development till his last moments. Specially liked how Levi was so desperate to kill him as the monster who murdered almost all of the SC including Erwin, but he ended up killing just a man.

He was a really good character, he was only manipulated by Marh and his father (bc he wanted his affection)

he was really interesting- his motives especially. i really enjoyed his perspective of growing up in marley and turning his parents in as traitors, his compassion towards eren, his change of heart in the end. stan zeke.

He was set up to be 100IQ genus but was a self-loathing sad boy the whole time.

he was such a smart character i really enjoyed him , he was one of my favorites and will be really sad to see him die but i’m glad that he got to choose how he died

He was the best monke.

He was the bridge between Eren and Grisha. He was dealt a series bad hands :(

He was the perfect foil to Eren’s character ever since we met him.

He was truly important in each Eren, a bit Levi and the story developments.

He was very well written I feel like he deserved better

He was wonderful character, most one I connected with him in all his journey

He went from a mysterious interesting character in s2 to a character that I hated in s3 for what he done. But now in s4 onwards hes become one of my favourite characters second to eren

He's a very sad character, having grown up with so much suppression and suffering, and to believe he and his race are better off dead, which then leads him to become so determined to exact a bleak plan so his race wouldn't have to suffer anymore. I'm glad armin helped him see there's more to life in his final moments :)

He's a very smart boi but we never got to see his ass-wiping technique. Was this chapter the ass-wiping technique?

He's an amazing character.

He's an asshole, but he's funny. A funny asshole.

He's an extremely interesting character. Filled with intricacies and complexities, I think he fulfills the role he's been given perfectly. In my opinion, his arc came to a nice end and throughout the entirety of it, he remained consistent which I can appreciate.

He's been a victim of the world

He's been an interesting character all along. He should have had a bigger role at the end though.

He's confusing as a character. I feel bad for everything he went through but I'm still not a fan of him

He's funny when he plays with his sand idk😭

He's grown quite a lot as a character

He's just tried he's best t save the world tho. I'm sad for him but i think it the best end for him because he sacrificed so much. Just let him rest in peace

He's monke

He's my favorite character since the Marley arc. I found him really interesting and intriguing with all his Zekerets.

He's my favourite character

He's not really a bad guy when you see his past.

He's one of the best characters, also appreciate the recurring abs fanservice.

He's one of the best villains, if not the best villain, in the series, partially because he feels like such a genuine person outside of his horrible plan and how he can be such a lovable goofball.

He's one of the most interesting characters of SNK. Even tho I still don't like him –sorry, Erwin's dead still hurts:(– I think he was an essential figure for Eren's (& SNK's plot) evolution. A really complex man who finally found peace at the end of his life.

He's quite unlikeable at the start but as time goes by I can finally see some clue about his intention

He's so hot holy shit

He's the best brother Isayama could have written for Eren

He’s a bad dude but he’s hot

He’s a great parallel to Eren

he’s always been an insanely cool character. i dislike how nonchalant he was about ragako but i understand why he acted that way.

He’s an important key to the story and without him it wouldn’t have been the same. i didn’t agree with his plan but i understood it, same as eren.

He’s been a great charismatic character that although he caused my fav Erwin death I couldn’t hate him.

He’s been manipulated like all of them, but in the end, he’s not as shitty as Eren.

HIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT WAS WILD!!!!!!!!! Isayama did an amazing job on delivering him a good end. I’m glad that I got to fully understand his character and know what pushed him to do the things he did and wanted to do. 10/10 character

His character is amazing; i rly liked him and i’m glad he found his peace in the end

His character was great and his plan made more sense

his titan makes me uncomfy but he has good character development, overall i don’t mind him :)

Honestly very complicated and I don’t feel like writing an essay here, but I very strongly disagree with his ideology but I understand his view point and my respect for him has grown a lot through the series to the point where I was even sad to see him go, all in all an amazingly written character. But he also killed Levi’s husband so get wrecked lol

Honestly? It looks like he was better when he was younger, he was way more scary than now. Now he just looks pathetic.

How should I write it.. He was a great brother, I love him. He loves Eren so much, that's why he chooses to die.

I always hated him and still do for all the things he did, but regardless of that I think he's an amazing character.

I always knew he was gonna die.

i always thought his way of thinking was different from others and thats why i enjoyed his chatacter a lot

I don't like him. Yes, he is a well-written character, but I can't like him because of how much harm he has done to levi. levi lost a lot of his own subordinates and friends because of that monkey.

i dont get why he didn't kill himself before and armin had to be there to state the obvious

i dont like him when he betrayed the scouts but now i understand him but i dont really like him. He deserve better when hes child and thats the cause hes doing this thing. So i guess im both okay and not okay with him

He's had an arc

he's just a brainwashed boy just like others at marley . since kid, he did not have the feels of love by his parents and he just seeing mr.ksaver as his only 'father figure' and this makes me sad like how could grisha did thus to him ?! ik grisha really obssess with eldian thingy that time but ignored your child is a big no no ❤ but for now his character have been improved a lot and makes me change my pov thru him so yeah ...

He's just like every other character in SnK: War Criminal with a backstory. What he went through as a child and a teenager creates a soft spot for him; but doesn't justify his killings and the euthanasia plan. I would have liked him to go down in a more grandiose kinda way (seeing his brain games, him just giving up on his life kinda felt lame). Overall, a great character from analytical pov.

Man vanished for the entire final arc to get one chat and Armin and kill himself. Isayama mismanaged him horribly.

maybe if he was shown love, he would've been a decent person.

I liked Zeke's detached approach on humanity, as I completely relate with his philosophy during the conversation with Armin. Even though at first I was repulsed by his sociopathic tendencies (rip Mike) his character definitely stood out. Everything about him felt rational and original, and I still believe his plan was the most logical one. Great character.

I like Zeke, he was represented as a villain but like all the characters, he's the hero of his own story. He was strong, smart, and tried to stop massive killings. I loved his relationship with Levi too (even though he almost killed him) and I loved Levi's expression when he finally killed him. I expected him to die fighting, but I like how he went down.

I liked him as a villain, but I would have much preferred his Joker-esque "watch the whole world burn" instead of yet ANOTHER misunderstood weeaboo

I really liked him and he was my second favorite character after Eren. I think he was very realisticaly written.

I really liked him as a character. He had a really good character arc not only in regard to his background, and his last moments in the physical world was absolutely stunning!!

I really liked his character towards the end, I’m glad he stepped up and helped call the past titan shifters.

I've got mixed feelings towards Zeke. I really hated him at first for the way he killed Mike - which was absolutely horrible. Then for the scouts and Erwin. But in the end we learn that it's like for anybody else: he did things because he had to. I don't hate him anymore, but I still don't love him either. He's written well, but I feel like he could've been written even more better, which is a bit sad. But he still had a great development. Lastly, the only thing left I have to say is : ✨hot monkey✨

love or hate him, zeke added an incredible dynamic to the story and the exploration of his character as well as his back and forth with others was consistently engaging. didn't think i'd say it but i'm gonna miss him

My thoughts are neutral. I think he had no choice in his life- he too was enslaved. Although, it would have been better to see more of his relationship with Tom Ksaver. That seems to be who he really is, and who he really believes himself to be.

One of the worst childhoods in AoT. I could never blame him for what he did with his life afterwards. I still wish he'd get a happier ending.

One, if not the best character in AOT. He’s such a complex, pragmatic character - I’ve loved him since his first appearance. I just wish his ending hadn’t been so anticlimactic... he deserved better.

Pretty good character but his way of chopping eldians dicks off so they don't have children to save the world was less ridiculous then what eren is doing. Eren says Zekes plan is messed up and then goes on to commit genocide like bruh 😒. But whatever atleast the rumbling stopped.

Well I don't like the guy, never did nor did I care about his sob backstory but at least in the end he came to terms with the shit he had done and accepted his dead.

Well rounded arc. Really interesting character. The idea to have the two yeager brothers have such conflicting ways to bring peace is really interesting

Zeke >>>>>>>> Eren.

Zeke abs

Zeke character is seriously much more deeper than we think he is. Not trying to write an essay here, I'll just say that Armin, Eren, Levi, etc have suffered with the loss of their loved ones. Zeke never even had the chance to be loved.

Zeke character was tragic. He just wanted to live a normal life. At the end, he gave up on his dreams and died, just like Erwin.

Zeke could’ve been one of the best characters in the manga if he had more time to shine it felt like he was either the mysterious villain or a pawn in someone else’s game zeke should’ve had way more of an impact on the story and been less of a plot device

ZEKE DESERVED BETTER

Zeke does his job. He a antagonist to our characters. He a well written character. I still will dislike him for the horrible stuff he did. But he got a good end.

Zeke GOAT. I'd personally adopt him so we could be best friends.

Zeke had a good story. One of the best character in AOT

Zeke had a much more humane plan than eren, he lived his whole life being exploited and used and didn’t truly find the beauty in the simplicity of it all until the end, very sad.

Zeke had a pretty decent character development

Zeke went from a 5d chess 200 iq keikaku master to a meme monke and I loved every second of it.

Zeke had a rare, but perfect mix of being intimidating, goofy and pathetic that made him a complete character.  I've been angry at him, laughed at him, and enjoyed everyone moment he was onscreen, whether it him killing others, getting curbstomped by Levi, or his bantering.

  WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT SEEING THE FIRST PAGES, DETAILING LIFE ON EARTH? 2,127 Responses

46.6% were excited to see real creatures of evolutionary history as part of titan lore, while 29.1% were glad to finally see the origins of that mysterious many-legged menace responsible for the world’s troubles. 12.1% aren’t totally sold on the exposition, and 6.2% would’ve preferred the origin story remain more vague. Meanwhile, 6% know who are*really* the masterminds behind it all. *taps head*

HALLUCIGENIA! Who would have thought that the main culprit of everything was just an evolved cambrian worm. Very nice.

This, in my opinion, was the best chapter of ALL the manga so far. My favourite part was the beginning resembling evolution of the real world. Simply amazing.

the "Life" part is confusing. Actually, i want that "Life" things took big part in Titan History, like controlling human, made human (Eldian) become one race for environmental reason, or something, and that "Life" thing has mind, like it could communicate with people....

Is it a coincidence that this chapter released while I was studying the Cambrian Explosion for my college biology class?

  DOES YMIR NOW SIDE WITH THE ALLIANCE? 2,161 Responses

46.3% don’t want to make any more assumptions about Ymir, they just want information first! 36% believe Ymir’s not on anyone’s side and is seeing how things unfold. 12.2% maintain that she’s sticking with Eren, and 5.5% think the alliance has won her over.

Ymir basically tried to make her own version of Instrumentality. I do think we need more elaboration on her perspective so her changing her mind is emphasised. I've been theorising she will betray Eren at some point, but with the lack of POV both on her and Eren's part, it does seem questionable.

I feel like she just didn’t want to be alone anymore. and because she’s the founder she wanted a connection between her and her subjects or her people. it’s understandable why she would help eren with trying to achieve his goal but it also makes sense for her to help the alliance stop eren because she is now free.

  WHAT DID YOU THINK OF PATHS BEING THE RESULT OF YMIR’S DESIRE FOR SAFETY AND CONNECTION? 2,106 Responses

Again, a plurality of 43.9% want to wait for more information from Ymir’s perspective before deciding how they feel about her. 33.6% think the explanation in this chapter made sense and made her more believable in her motives. 15.1% somewhat grudgingly accept that for the role Ymir plays, this’ll do. However, 5% just don’t like it or just don’t think it makes sense.

i have no idea if it makes sense plot-wise but since one of the primary human needs is connection it's believable and touching

I'm surprised because I believed that was the empty, lonely world  created by her subconscious mind or desire for serving the king. Now it looks like it is the world where she feels safe and is waiting for someone to give her what she desires.

Despite the lack of exact origin, this make sense, specially if we see other science fiction war-politic drama, as the first Gundam Series, or Foundation.

Explaining the origin of the spine creature was necessary imo, but I think the origins of the Paths should have been left vague. This explanation is a little weak.

It's sad yet kinda sweet at the same time.

I like this. Ymir best girl

I still don't understand how that shit works

I still wouldv liked it to be the transcendental plane of existence, governed by the source of all life.

I think Paths existed before Ymir, right?

Paths became pretty stupid after Ymir was introduced.

I think she fled, got parasite'd, and that....thing has been in control of the Titans ever since, trapping the mind of a little girl in Paths for 2000 years.  Finally, someone with the Founder was able to contact her and say "You can do whatever you want!" so she just...let him have power, so she could roam freely for a bit.

I thought that we were going to get a different explanation, since PATHS is something supernatural but if Isayama wants that then Im ok with it, remember we are in a story with 16 meters giants, dont expect science explanations here lol

I understand the phrase, but I fail to see why her character turned this way given the hardships she suffered. Indeed, why did she keep obeying King Fritz instead of giving him a lesson?

I want to know why and how it spread to all Eldians instead of just shifters.

It makes sense to me, and it's a good explanation, but I have a feeling that there may be more to it.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, but she was stuck for so long, that it’s initial purpose has lost meaning.

It would need a lot more explanation. How does the (still-unexplained) tree spine give her the capability to form an alternate supernatural dimension? And why would THIS be the way to form those connections, rather than, say, NOT forming massive monsters to kill people on earth? How does wandering around an endless desert alone forming weapons of mass destruction for thousands of years feel safe and connected? It's flimsy.

it's a cheap excuse as to why paths ex machina exists.

It’s a good explanation, it highlights the tragedy of her story even more

It’s honestly very sad. She is such a lonely character and the fact that she made a place where she could feel connected to others is very heartbreaking. She’s just wanted to feel loved :(

Kinda stupid. Titans are fucking weird creatures anyways and trying to explain them beyond the concept of "magic" and paths ruins it for me.

Makes sense, even Eren has stated that she has been desiring for company and understanding, meaning that she couldn't completly achieve it with the creation of paths

No, Ymir is trapped in paths due to being devoured while controlling the spine creature. Because she was eaten by humans (not turned into titans) she was stuck in the world of paths and to end titans she needs to be freed from that world.

omg i never rlly got that (i was super confused) until after i read this question- cool tho how her desire for that is so great she created a whole ass metaphysical plane wtfff

Paths didn't need to be explained but it's nice that it's connected to Ymir's desires

PATHS is pinnacle Strand-type game.

She choose to be alone in that realm, and she chose to obey the king's will. I can't feel bad for her as much as I did before

Super weird. Seemed like Ymir just kinda appeared in Paths in 122. So it existed before her right?

That definitely explains why Armin was still able to see everything that was going on in the living world. It was especially interesting to learn that all titan shifters never fully die, rather their consciousness is transferred to Paths where they remain in a seemingly dream-like state but can still be awakened to an extent, as we saw Zeke do. I still would like to see Paths destroyed in the end, though, otherwise they'll be stuck there forever and never be able to move on.

The plot with Ymir was just absolutely awful.

There are still way too many questions about her but i'm not interested in it

Though Ymir remains quite an obscure character, I've always been a fan of childhood trauma and how this affects the world they are living in, especially in a fantasy setted world. It adds an interesting level of humanity to the story.

Ymir was surprised when she entered paths in 122. She didn't expect but from what we've seen from 122, we can say that "escaping to a world free of even death" holds the most meaning. I never saw it as her desire for safety, Connection of course is existent though.

she's become a very compelling character and her ideologies are more pronounced, and I really do like how it connects to titan powers and paths. however we still need more explanations on her.

She's the incarnation of a very human feeling, no need to wonder why she became a godess

I just want to hear from her! Everyone else is telling her story and speaking for her, and I really want a moment at the end here for her to lay things out

  ARMIN SHARES A FEW MEMORIES THAT MADE LIFE WORTH LIVING, WHICH WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 2,091 Responses

Armin shared some of his sweetest memories with Zeke this chapter. 74.9% most loved the memory of him running with his two dearest friends as leaves fell. 11.8% chose the memory of walking around a marketplace with friends. 6.8% chose the memory of feeding a squirrel at training camp, and 6.5% chose the memory of reading a book on a rainy day. They were all lovely though, weren’t they?

Not afraid to admit that I teared up seeing the panel of EMA running to the tree!

I love the message in this chapter because to me this is the message of AoT in general; life is worth living because of the small, precious memories we make. It's not about a great sense of purpose; just being alive makes someone a valuable human. If this is the final message of Isayama to his fans, I gladly take it.

  WAS ZEKE'S CHANGE OF HEART BELIEVABLE? 2,104 Responses

Grisha once said that Zeke would save his people, and it seems he has fulfilled this role with Armin’s encouragement. Although not without a good dash of nihilism first. 61.4% thought his decision to help Armin was perfectly in character; he just needed to be reminded of his few good memories as motivation. 19.2% did think it was a drastic change on his part, but his changed views were just a part of his character development. 15.9% did not appreciate what seemed like the dreaded Talk no Jutsu in full force.

I honestly loved Zeke’s change. Despite Ymir and Eren Zeke was still the key to this and I liked how it never changed.

It was already foreshadowed but Isayama should had set this up a few chapters ago because the execution makes it seem like Armin just told him “life gud” and he was like “oh shit u right” and then went to die

It was believable enough. Plus, I like that he still mentioned to Xaver that he still believed the euthanasia-plan was the way to go.

It was good thematically but it needed more time and more build up in the execution

It was kind of strange in my opinion but he was tasked by Grisha to stop Eren so what choices did he really have?

He doesn't have a change of heart, he just has a change of action. same motivation and beliefs, just different action he takes.

He had a lot of time to think in Paths, so yeah.

after all those fandom debates about armin using talk no jutsu on eren, we instead saw armin use it on zeke instead (so my answer is both yay, character development!! and nay, a part of me believes ONE pep talk can't COMPLETELY change a person)

As abrupt as the change was I think I do prefer this, rather than him not getting any 'better' and eventually dying without realizing the amount of trouble and hurt his actions caused.

It would be believable if we saw how the PATHS trip with Grisha and Eren affected him, but bad pacing happened

believable, shouldve had its own chapter though

don't know what to think about it

Not at all. I think if he paused and wondered on his own it would've been better. Instead it was made to wank Armin and make yet another determined adult look incompetent.

Rational me: Well at least Monke got to go out with a smile. 2013-16!me: Eren should've been giving the pep talks...I thought he was gonna be the protagonist....wahhh (cue baby crying)

Seems acceptable, just glad he’s gone

eh. it was somewhat believable. he didnt have any reason to continue existing

Happened way too quickly.

I don't know, but here's my opinion. I'd say Zeke finally open his eyes to the truth, and now he wished to do as much as he can to stop Eren before his time comes. I believe that's the reason he exposed himself to Levi, and why he chose to die after calling every titan shifters to help aid Eren's friends stop Eren. Does it make sense?

I dont get how armin convinced him more easily than eren did when theyre the ones with essentially the same endgoal

i love the idea of zeke becoming a "optimistic nihilist" but didn't at all like how rushed it was executed.

I mean, it sure could've been explored more, but we have to take into account that Zeke had been in paths for a long time (maybe for what it felt like millions of years) and by that point he felt hopeless; his dream was no longer going to become a reality, he couldn't change anything and was trapped there forever, then Armin came and gave him a different perspective, he listened and found something of value in it while at the same time not completly discarding Xaver's ideology. I like it!

I mean... it was kind of a change of heart? But he still believed that his euthanasia plan was the way to go (I dislike Ksaver for that very reason; he projected his own self loathing onto Zeke which led to him believing that life isn't precious and just inherently cruel)

I think Armin and him talked for yrs in paths but it only translated to minutes irl

I think it was either rushed to the point where Zeke-once the brainer monke-did a full 180 to give up on himself. I mean yes, character development or whatever, I think it should have been given more time to happen. He just gave up and died kinda feels off-setting considering his cunning/witty character.

I think that he just stopped caring about everything and did what Armin asked him to do.

I enjoyed armin and zeke’s conversation, and think the outcome made sense.

I was against that plot at first. But after reading different opinions, I guess he became hopeless due to his time in the paths. So the nihilist speech wasn't exactly his way of thinking. Otherwise why would he run around for making his euthanization dream come true if he was that hopeless of life. So I think his change of mind was acceptable

It did feel drastic in the moment, but I think if I were to read through the chapters more consecutively, it might make more sense to me

It doesn't make sense that someone as motivated as Zeke would sit passive the whole Rumbling. If he could have done anything to stop Eren, he would have done it before half the world was Rumbled.

Zeke wanted to eugenicize his race. Except Armin said 'look at this leaf, I like living' and he said 'yes you're right life is worth living. I will die for humanity now'. People will joke about this for years to come when they explain attack on titan to their friends.

"The greatest teacher, failure is." - A wise old ghost frog.

This change is fine in principle. It's change from his idea of euthanasia and "better not be born" toward "eventhough life is suffering too, it's worth living". But it was rushed, it would have been more believable if the idea germinated in his mind. So between the Yes and No answer.

What change of heart, he was reminded from what he found happiness in life which he was enjoying subconscioulsy before aka playing catch. An activity he started enjoying as a kid. It was a game, something kids enjoy not a heavy burden of "saving everyone" as Grisha implanted onto him.

yes because before talking to armin, he must have been so lonly in paths for such a long time, after such isolation even one talk can influence a person a lot

Zeke had this change coming - it was built up throughout the Paths chapters. The primary boogeyman figure of his life turned out to be a good man, and he apologised, turning his entire worldview upside down (not counting the whole "Stand, dad" thing) He had an eternity in Paths to process the events of ch120-122 (and maybe his entire life before that) multiple times over. Armin found him at his most vulnerable, betrayed and alone once more. Their debate back and forth, all done with mutual respect, was amazingly written. Armin showed him the way, gave him that one final nudge he needed in the right direction. It's perfectly believable, and fitting.

  IF YOU WERE IN PATHS, WHAT WOULD ARMIN’S LEAF LOOK LIKE TO YOU? 1,124 Responses

Because we love and appreciate every single one of you, this list IS going to be absurdly long. <3

♡ Levi just him.

🦧

20 inch bad dragon dildo

A baseball ⚾️

A basketball

A bed

A berry

A better chapter 137

A better final arc.

A Bible

A black hole

A blanket (don't judge me)

A blue gel pen, maybe? Or a book?

a blue pouch

a book

A book from my ninth grade year

A book I have that's full of messages from friends

A book maybe since I spend most of my times reading books with my beloved one and friends

A book probably

A book? Handphone? Idk

a bottle of black nail polish

a box of spicy chicken nuggets from mcdonalds

a bracelet

A brush

a butterfly

A cake

A camera

A candle

A card from my girlfriend

Cassette-Tape

A cat

A cd

A CD case of cellist yo yo ma

a cellphone ig xjwkxnekdkd jk a book

A cherry blossom / cherry blossom leaf

A chessboard I guess

A childhood toy

a cigarette shared between friends

A cinema ticket

A clarinet

a coffee mug

a coin

A comic book

A computer probably

a concert ticket

A cross

A cross necklace my grandma gifted me when i was like 16 (she died when i was 18 💔)

A crucifix

A crystal

A cup

A cup of coffee

A cup of coffee in a cute mug

A cupcake

A deck of cards

a dick

A dildo

A dildo (joking) a piece of cake

A dinosaur toy.

A doll

a duck

A feather.

A feather..the pretty one..could be bird's feather..

A fish

A fishing rod.

A football balloon

A fountain pen i received when i was younger.

A framed picture of EMA laughing together

A freakin’ leaf, I’m don’t have horrible mental issues like AOT characters.

A friend/family member.

a fucking leaf

A game controller.

A gameboy advance or some curry lol

A girlfriend, because i'm lonely :(

a glass 'potion' bottle

A glove

a gold necklace i got from my parents when i was little

A Good Ending

A good manga series

A good SnK manga chapter

a guitar for sure

A guitar pick

A hair band (symbolizes self development)

A handwritten message from my mother

A harmonica

a hat

A hat I made for a friend

A heart.

a Hot Wheel car

A Jewel

A joint

A joystick

a key

a kpop lightstick idk

A laptop with anime on it probably💀oh or all if my maladaptive daydreaming story notes

a leaf

A leaf as well.

A Leaf because it's a Fucking Leaf

A Lego brick

A Lego figure

A Levi nendoroid

A life

A lightsaber

a little crystal bear

a little red bean

A little rock that I've polished myself with another rock

A little treasure box

A magic the gathering card.

a manette

A Manga (maybe AoT or TG)

a manga panel

A mechanical pencil

A memory

A mobile phone

A mouse

a mouse and keyboard

a movie from blockbuster

A movie ticket

a mushroom

A music Album

A Music player

A necklace

a necklace from an ex

A necklace that my father gave me but it broke

A new Sombra skin (casual). Give her something already!

A Nintendo DS

a noose

a notebook

A notebook filled with my goals and dreams.

a nugget

A paint brush

A pair of googles from my childhood.

A peach

A pen

A pen or quill.

A pen perhaps

A pencil

A perfectly orange looking leaf. Showing that the seasons still go by even after all that misery.

A phone

a photo album

A photo of me and my friends that I keep

a photo of me and my grandpa

A photo shoot, of me and a few my classmates

A photograph of my loved ones

A picture of Hitch's boobs 😔

A picture of me, smiling

A picture of my family

A picture of my friends

a piece of SnK merch or a slice of pizza lmao

a pill

A pinecone

a ping pong racket

A pizza

A Playstation controller

A plush I still have with me since day one. It has gone through a lot with me.

a pokeball

A Pokémon card lol

A Pokemon emerald rom

A Polaroid of me and my friends!

A possible symbol for the final chapter idk tbh

A postcard I got my from my best friend

a potato

a printed photo

A ps4 controller

A PS5

A quill

A reminder of how my life goes ups and downs but still stands up to fight.

A reminder of life and how it can flourish in the most unexpected of places

A Requiem ending

a ring

A rock

A running shoe

A Santa Hat

A screen honestly

a seashell

A sewing kit

a shot of gold tequila with cinnamon sugar and an orange slice. best night of my life.

A slice of pizza bro.

a small feather

A small stuffed toy, a gift from my grandfather when i was 4 years old, not long before he passed

A snk volume with actually good chapters in it.

A soccer ball

A soccer ball.

A spider man figure

A stone with a hole.

A stuffed animal from my childhood maybe, there’s one that still sits somewhere and is a reminder of those peaceful moments of childhood.

A stuffed animal.

A symbol of innocence and life

A table tennis bat

a teacup

a teddy

A thing who link me to my mom or my brothers

a token. A palm sized blue token with W.S engraved on it in white

A toy

A toy bear dhiq

A toy mouse

A toy plane.

a vape

A volume from this manga lmao

A volume of one piece

a wax pen

A whole bed.

A Wii Remote

A wrestling ring or a brush for paint

A xbox 360 controller..

Actually my answer is really dumb but it will surely look like my picture with my friends at a school camp in forest.

African barbecue chicken

Alcohol 👌🏿

Also a leaf because nature holds my best memories.

an actual decent ending for the series, which this isn't

An AoT manga

an apple

An Attack on titan manga, the 26 volume:(

An attack on titan volume

An autumn leaf maybe

An ice cream

An iced coffee

an old axe

An old Bionicle canister: 8536 - Kopaka. It just feels right, y'know?

An onahole

An orange

An snk volume

Anime-original ending for Season 4 part 2

Annie

annies character development before she became uwu waifu

AnR Ending.

Any of my son's toys. He's 2 yrs old. I'm crying right now...

Any small animal representing life

AOT Chapter 137🤣🤣🤣🤣

Aot manga

AoT volume 30

Apple

Armin thinks of it as falling leaves when he and his friends go to a tree

Armin would BE my “leaf”. Tbh, he gave me the strength and love to keep loving. He’s my happy memories.

armin’s leaf to me would look very green, very healthy and full of life.

Armin's corpse

Attack on Titan chapter 139

Attack on Titan's manga books.

Backyard

bald james charles

ball

balloon

Banana

banana for monke

barbie

Baritone Horn

baseball

Basement key tbh, y'all remember back in 2013 when the biggest mystery was "what was in the basement?" then it was revealed in the manga in 2016? Good ol' times when spoilers weren't everywhere 🙄

BASKETBALL

Bed

Bertholdt's redacted

Big fookin anime tiddies

Bill.

Blunt

Bohrok Kohrok

boobs

Books

bottle cap

Brass Ring

brick

Brooch

Brown and like at the beginning of fall

BTS's album

Bunny

Calisthenics ring

Camera

Can't decide

candle

Candy

Cap

Cards

Cat fur because I love my babies ❤

Cat whishker

chalk

chapter 100

Chapter 140

chapters 138 and 139

cheese slice

Chess

Chicken

chicken nugget

Chipotle

Chocy milk

Cicada

Clay

Cocaine

Cock and ball torture from Wikipedia the free encyclopaedia

coffee

Coffee mug

Coming home after school and enjoying the weekend playing football and meeting friends

Complete collection of snk volumes

Computer

condom ??

cooking with my mother, playing basketball with my brothers and sitting with my friends

Cricket ball

Damn, that's a really good question...honestly I don't know.

damn... idk

dog collar

Dont know

doughnut

Doujinshi

dreams, nostalgia, memories

Drugs

Dumbbell

Eh, probably my cat? Or the picture of people I love.

either a book or a phone

either a controller or my gf

Either a football or video game controller

Eren jaeger 😳

Eren or other

eren's abs

eren's schl-

Eren🤤🤤🤤

Erens dick

Erwin

Erwin's arm

Erwin's dick.

Erwin's right arm or levi's right eye

Erwin's smile

Everyone outside the Walls rumbled

exactly the same

Fair

family

Family Picture

Fern frond

First of all, great question :) probably a mini chalkboard with a little calculus equation on it from when I first got into mathematics

Fleshlight

floch

Flower

Food

Football

Football (soccer) ball

Freedom

From episode 1 2000 years ago!?

From the beginning the trees leaf

Fuck Armin

fuck this shit doing here

GABI'S GRUESOME DEATH

Gameboy

GameCube

GameCube controller

Gay porn

GME stonks

golf ball

Green

Green and alive.

Group picture with loved ones

Guitar

Guitar Pick

gun

GURL? I WILL NOT LOOK AT THE LEAF I WILL ONLY LOOK AT ARMIN! SORRY ANNIE!! >_<

Half Life 3

Halo (game)

hamborgar

hamburguer

hange

Harry potter novel

Historia

Historia not being a breeder

historia's soft breasts

Hmm i don't really know

hmmm, maybe a coin

hold four lokos

holidays i spent with my family n friends

homemade cooking? it would be all sandy tho

Honestly I don't know

Honestly, I don't know. Maybe the stylus I lost?

Honey bun

Hope

Hot wings

Humanity

I actually have no idea.

I did not expect such a deep question! You guys made me think for like 10min straight and question all my life. I'd say it would be a T-rex toy

i do not have any core memories. i remember nothing important of my childhood. it's all just a blank page

I don't know honestly. So many good memories, that aren't really connected with objects per se. If I could see sunlight in that sand, it would be that.

I don't know. I don't I would have any

I don't know. I don't think you would get a choice on what it would look like to you.

I don't really know I had a lot of good and importants moments in life but what I'm sure of is that it includes my family

I don't want to sit with Armin

I don’t think I’ve encountered it yet

i dont fcking know its a leaf

I dont know because i think i dont have a thing like that. I would imagine it as my previous house that means a lot to me

I had a little piglet figurine in my childhood that was lost.

I have a scructured settlement and I need cash now

I HAVE NI IDEA buuut i will think about it later ... It's a good questio actually

i have no answer for this 😞

i have no fucking clue

I have no happy memories

I have no idea lmao probably a leaf

I have no idea too much to think about.

i have so many in mind, idk what to choose.

I have to think about it that's a real good question.

I honestly don't even know. I'm probably just like Zeke who is yet to know the real value of living hehe

I need more context.

I still dont know what motivates me the most

I think it will be my favorite books

I think it would be my medals

I think it would look like a rock that I found on the beach.

I think it would look like an origami butterfly made from a business card

I think maybe leaf or flower

I think will be a pencil

I thought i had seen the leaf.is this a theory? wait? i don't see a tree on the path.where do the leaves appear? am i left behind?

I wanna know too

i was shocked tbh. the leaf became the sign that verified that there really is a connection between what happened in the past and now in the future — that the founding titan really knows everything that's going on.

I would see a specific type of pen that has the same name as my best friend

I'm not sure if I have something I'm deeply connected to.

I’m not sure

Ice cream

iced chocolate

Idk :(

idk but it does remind of the tree from the notebook ova

idk lol

idk my phone or sumin

Idk, I have many things that i love, but no clue what's the most important

Idk, i'd have to be there and be reminded

Idk, maybe hope?

Idk, maybe my cat. She's the best.

idk, something related to cartoons

Idk.....BTS album? They’re the reason my life become much brighter

In my eyes, I would have seen a music box.

Interestingly enough, also a baseball

Ironically enough, probably a baseball like Zeke

Is this really important?

Isayama-san UwU

It could be anything to me.

It could be metaphorical by contrasting the real world vs the afterlife, the past and the present, what is gone and what is still here.

It has to be something connected to an important memory of your life, not just an object that you wish you had, right? I think whatever the true answer is would be impossible for me to realise myself just by thinking. It seems like one of those things that you would only realise when it's right in front of you, then it all makes sense.

it remids him of mikasa and eren, when three of them running under the three

It would be a basketball

it would be a pencil

It would be green

it would look like a book

it would look like a dress

It would look like an autobiography book.

It would look like my bracelet I got from my best friend

It would look like Pine Tree

It would look like this chapter, but animated.

It would probably be a Lego set or smth

It would probably be the discord logo lol

it would probably look like this one follower my grandmother would always have in her garden

It's gonna be a long paragraph

It's hard to think about it right now, I would say a stick?

its remind me when they are still happy in the wall

Jean

Just a leaf

just a leaf u know its nothing particular

Just a leaf. but it also shows that freedom to everybody is different; for zeke it was just playing baseball with mr ksaver, and for armin it was running to a tree with eren and mikasa

Just.. leaf

Juul

kassete

Lacrosse ball

Leaf 👁👄👁

Leaf as well

Leaf is fine~

leaf of the tree they ran toward to

leaf?

Legit my cat

Lego brick

Lego star wars the complete saga for the Nintendo wii

letter

levi

Levi Pillow

Levi's plushie

Levi’s butt

Levi’s dumbstruck of an ass- probably a photograph of my closest friends

Levi’s happiness

Life

Life?? Idk

life..ig

Like a comb

Like a leaf

like a stuffed animal

Like Armin

Like goddamn, you think we could get some trees up in here among all this lifeless sand? jfc it's nice to see some greenery. People may suck but it's hard to say nature does

like looking at the past

Listening to music alone in my bed.

lol yikes i have no idea

Looking at a golf ball

Lots of things.

Lube

Man bun Eren

Manga

maybe a book ? idk i don't find anything memorable for now

Maybe a book or sumn.

Maybe a bottle of wine or a beach towel

Maybe a camera? Photo album?

Maybe a Lego brick

maybe a slice of cake, or a flower

Maybe also a leaf...

Maybe AOT manga? IDK lol!

Maybe book or pen

maybe flower

Maybe sad actually I don't understand 😃

meaningful memories

Meat

mf idk i’m dumb asf

Mi pets :(

Microphone

Mikasa

Mikasa body pillow

Mikasa's abs

Mikasa's smile

Mikasa’s ass

mikasas titties

mine probably will look like a paint brush<3

Money

monke

Most likely a pencil

mouse

music lol

Music Sheet

My Books

my bracelet

My cat

My cat or a cup of hot chocolate

My cats

my childhood

my childhood blanket

My childhood stuffed animal Rudi

my computer mouse

My crappy journal

my crush

My diary

My dog

My dog who died years ago, i loved him.

my dog who passed away

My dog's collar

My dog's leash I guess.

My favorite book

my friend's doodle

my friends.

My glasses or a bar of chocolate

My glasses, maybe.

My Grandma's crepes. ♥

My Grandpa (now I regret being too young to know more about his past)

My hard drive

My hedgehog

My iPod touch.

My kindergarten school

my laptop lol my best memory is blasting songs and pass the night without worrying about anything

My late grandma's glasses

my microphone

My mobile phone

my mom's ring

My mom’s cookies

My motorcycle

My notebooks

My old dog

my own damn tears

My paintbrush

My pc

My phone

My phone :)

My phone kek

My phone lol

my phone probably

My phone, with Reddit open, on r/Titanfolk, reading memes and whatever YakiBacki has made recently.

My phone???

My phone. I have a social media addiction.

My plush horse

My poems

My rabbit(s).

My seal plushie

My smartphone

My stuffed animal

My stuffed bunny from childhood😂

My switch

my teddy or some kind of gift offered by my family/friends

My trumpet. I have so many happy memories from marching band, playing with my friends every summer afternoon. I grew and learn so much through playing the trumpet. I gained so many friends and was so happy during the time I was in marching band. It was like my second home. I would give anything to go back to those happy times.

My tv remote

My unfinished new Survey Corps armor...

My wedding ring

My winnie the pooh doll lol.I loved it soooo much when I was a kid

Nami from One Piece

Nerf Guns lol

ngl it would look like a pawn or some random chess piece for me

nice try, dumbledore

nintendo switch

No comment

no I...

No I'm not ready for psychoanalysis at this moment

No idea, a locket probably

no idea, fuck Paths

Not sure honestly

Not sure. Because i havent found the purpose of my life.

Not sure. Is that bad?

Nothing in particular

Nothing to think about

Noting but vibez

obviously a volume of attack on titan

Oh gosh....this is so deep. I don’t know! Maybe a pencil?

oh man i don’t even know

One Piece volume

Orchids

Pain

Paint brush

Pandemic crisis is over

Pen

pencil

Perhaps a ballpen I used. I don't really have anything that reminds me to live in particular.

Perhaps a history book or map

Personally or as a manga reader? As a manga reader, it would be something related to the veterans, who embodied the true spirit of AoT to me

Phone

Phone full of conversations with my old friends.

phone? lol

Photo of my family

photo of my friends or Levi or Erwin 😂😂. Seriously I  haven't thought about meaning of life as deeply as Armin.

Picture of family and friends

Picture of my family and friends

Picture of sunset

pictures

Picutre of me and my parent's

Pie

pie DAHAHAHAHA

Pieck

Pieck's Ass

Pieck's butt

Pieck's Cart Titan AWOOGA

Pitchforks so I can go manifest in front of greedy Kodansha how shitty the writing is.

Pizza

pizza :)

Playing with childhood friends.

plushie from childhood

Pokeball

poop

Potato

Potatoes

pp

Probably a bike

Probably a bird I think

probably a book

probably a box of Girl Scout cookies honestly

Probably a coral, I'm a scuba diver so the ocean is always something that is close to my heart.

Probably a Gamecube controller due to that being my first gaming console I owned/played on.

Probably a gaming mouse lol

Probably a Kanye West album idk

Probably a leaf. His entire philosophy on life is exactly my philosophy on life.

Probably a manga, if anything. Or a Vinyl since I love music.

Probably a pen or paintbrush because I love art

Probably a pencil

Probably a photo

Probably a picture of my best friend

Probably a picture of my family

Probably a picture of someone I lost and cherish.

Probably a pillow.

Probably a small stuffed animal

Probably a Soccer ball

Probably a volume of AoT ffs

probably a wii controller :’)

Probably a wrestling belt or a game controller

probably an ice cream

Probably an old photo of mine

probably attack on titan manga HAHAHA

Probably earbuds!

probably how happy i was back then OMFG yea im lonely now

probably just a leaf. i don’t have anything that special to me that holds any value.

Probably like a lego brick lol.

Probably like the one you see fall 🍂

Probably Mikasa

Probably my dog plushie

Probably my old Nintendo DSi

Probably my phone

Probably one of my cats

Probably one of my childhood lego guys

Probably Pieck, or a pretty gymnastic leotard or even a pretty necklace idk

Probably smarthpone, idk tbh

Probably something important and precious to me. But right now it's probably my phone, but I doubt it exist in Attack On Titan

Probably the pillow (I named it pillow pillow great name i know) that I brought everywhere with me as a child.

probably the same leaf

ps1 controller

Ps2

PS2 controller

Pussy

Quotations from Chairman Mao Zedong

Re zero all arcs

Re:Zero

Reading new chapters of Attack on Titan every month

Regrets lmao

Reiner

Reiner's ass

Reiner's booty

reiner’s titties

Remembers

revival

Rose pin

roses

Running shoes

s4 by wit

Sand of the beach I used to visit when I was young with my mother and sister

scripture

Sea or a shell

Sea-water

Seriously, a gun.

shackle

Shadis

sheet music

shingeki no kyojin LMAO

Shiranai

shitty symbolism

shoes

Small rabbit statue

Sneakers

SnK manga

SNK manga volumes (lol)

Snk’s ending

Snow

Soccer ball

Some bird species

Some object related to track

Some type of memory. Or resemble a memory??

Something belonging to Erwin

Something from home

something my grandparents had given me! or maybe my mother's necklace

Something that tells you that life is worth living if not for the smallest of moments- I suppose it would be my phone lol.

Something that would symbolize my family.

Spaghetti

starfish

Still not sure yet

Stuffed animal

Sunflower

symbol of life

Symbol of life?

Talarico

Talk No Jutsu

Tea cup

tennis ball

that fucking POMEGRANATE

That life is what we see it to be, zeke wasn't looking for anything so he found nothing there except sand but armin was hopeful so he found whats meaningful for him

That's personal wtf 😂

The admin of aot wiki😳 seriously tho uhm probably a picture of my family or something

The Ao3 front page

The Bible

The first coin I earned myself (like in The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck)

The first volume of a niche little series called Shingeki no Kyojin

The Fucking Levi FIGURE THAT I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR 2 MONTHS

The hope

the HP wand I made from chopstick

the leaf could be the tree Eren, Mikasa and Armin where running from when they were still a kid or the tree Ymir fell into and got the titans power(?)

The leaf to me would look like a ring. My family gives me one every year.

The necklace my mom gave me

The nothingness

The novel I've writing.

The one he had seemed just fine.

The one under the tree, where it all began

The perfect ending, forever trying to live up to your own version it

The scarf

The seashell

The Sony PS5

The spine of Ymir

The tree

The unrevealed Ackerman and Azumabito plot line

The volume 17 manga cover back when things weren't completely terrible

There's still life and hope

This anime/manga bc I’m so attached to it

This caught me off guard. I don't know

This is a very hard question. I think to me it would show dog toys being my dog is the reason I'm still alive

This is probarly really sad but it would be one of the Aot manga books.

This isn't about me, this is about the manga chapter

This manga

This manga. I wouldn't mind being born again... if it meant being able to experience this story for the first time again... So I'll guess I'll thank you, Hajime Isayama.

This question has the same vibe as "what would you see on the mirror if Erised", therefore, I'm not sure

This series

This so hard but probably the ticket from the Twenty One Pilots concert I went to in 2019 (it was my first concert ever and the last one I went to before the pandemic)

This was actually a really nice question ;0;  To me the leaf would look like, there was a day where i drew Gionro it took 8 hours to others it may sound normal but to me I had so much fun drawing and coloring it. Also the first time i got a dog i was so happy for years i really wanted one and later on we ended GETTING ANOTHER dog and even a cat ;0; that was unexpected!!

Tits

To-do list completed

Too me the leaf would look like a soccer ball

Tray

Tulip

uhh, my phone? I don't have much on my life lmao

Um... I don't know to be honest. I mean does this have to be an object ? Can it be something else ?

ur mom

Very colorful, yet simple. I feel like I would be able to tell it’s importance just by the way Armin looks at it.

VHS copy of the 1977 animated Hobbit

vodka

Volleyball

Volume 30 of AoT

vv cool

waifu figure

water

Waterpistol

Weed

Weed pen

Well, damn, I don't know if I have one lol

What

What leaf? That's clearly a kite.

Who knows

Who knows hehe

Who knows lol.

Xbox controller

yam's balls

yo moma

You.

Your mom

youth and innocence

Zeke being alive and well, raised in a loving household

Zeke living

  THERE WERE A LOT OF STEPS TO SAVING ARMIN, WHICH WAS THE BEST PART? 2,058 Responses

There was some much loved teamwork this chapter. 25.9% of respondents enjoyed Mikasa’s relentless pursuit of the Okapi the most, closely followed by 25.7% who were impressed by Gabi’s continuing kill streak. 21.6% were glad to see Armin help to save himself, and 19.9 % were pleased to see Annie break Armin’s fall. Finally, 6.9% of respondents appreciated Connie saving Armin from another round of Okapi tongue action. Though sadly he didn’t get a mention in the comments!

I genuinely really liked the part where Gabi fired a perfect shot, I personally think she isn't as bad as people make her out to be.

Annie catching Armin was 10/10.

it was so cool to see the team work I'd always dreamed it would look like. Also Levi supporting Gabi was so cuute.

  WHAT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE RETURNED SHIFTER MOMENT? 2,044 Responses

While all the returning titans had a moment of action, it was “Bertoldt saving Annie” that was top pic for favorite shifter moment with 40% of the responses. “Porco and Marcel together” was a distant second with 17.3%. “Freckled Ymir saving Reiner” closely followed with 17.1%.

BERTHOLDT IS BACK!!!!! REIBERT REUNION WHEN

Ymir (freckles) is my personal favourite, she could've said one line at least! Same goes for Kruger and Porco. Bringing people back to life is weird, not letting them comment on that is even weirder.

Grisha hit the gym in paths 😳

I genuinely didn't think we were gonna see freckles Ymir again, so that was a very pleasant surprise! I would have also liked for her to have some dialogue, but then again Historia hasn't had any dialogue in the present time either.

  HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT SHIFTERS OF THE PAST REGAINING CONTROL OF THEIR TITANS? 2,117 Responses

The passed came back from the past to lend the alliance a hand! Now this moment was a little controversial. 42.5% thought it was awesome seeing our old friends take control of their titans to save their loved ones. 29.9% liked what the scene was going for but thought it needed more setup or foreshadowing. 18.9% were not happy at all to see such a shonen scene in this manga. Hated it, even! Despite the many strong feelings, there was still a group of those (8.7%) who didn’t really have an opinion either way.

I feel considerably less crazy about referring to the rumbling as ""basically Ragnarok"" now that we have dead shifters coming back from Valhalla-paths to fight in the rumblnarok.

While I expected the past shifters to help out the Alliance eventually ever since we saw crying Bertotototo, I thought it was a little rushed and could've used more build-up.

i want more porco and marcel lol

Pieck seeing the Galliard brothers must have been so hard. I can't begin to imagine how she felt. :(

I still don't understand how it is Zeke that brought the titan shifters back since he was busy thinking about his childhood. I kinda didn't like the ressurection ( not exactly ) of the dead titan shifters since it takes away the meaning of death of you are actually able to interact with them.

Kruger, Grisha, and freckles Ymir coming back to help the alliance??? What??? I get the others but not these 3. Either fanservice or something more is happening under the shadows.

This chapter continued to showcase some more of the past Titan Shifters throughout the ages. What was most interesting of the past Titan Shifters that appeared in this chapter to fight the past alliance members was that some of the same Titan Shifters that appeared during Ymir's flashback in Chapter 122 can be seen fighting the Alliance in this chapter.

I thought it was interesting to finally have Freckled Ymir's description of being a mindless titan get touched upon again. She said that it was like a never ending nightmare. All the shifters Ymir and Eren summoned were asleep in that nightmare, until Zeke and Armin were able to wake them up, if only for a brief amount of time. There was a reason we saw Bertolt crying after Armin ate him. And we were only reminded again in Chapter 135 when Armin saw Bertolt crying again. I don't think these shifters gaining some of there consciousness back is an ass pull at all. We were given some bread crumbs to believe that at least dead shifters exist in some way in Paths after death.

  NOW THAT WE HAVE SEEN KSAVER’S TITAN FORM IN ACTION HOW DO YOU RECONCILE HIM SAYING HIS TITAN ISN’T GOOD FOR BATTLE? 2,078 Responses

39.7% thought him saying his titan was useless was just a lie since he wouldn’t be allowed to pursue his interest in science otherwise. 33.6% figured he was telling the truth and his titan didn’t look that useful. 17.4% think that something truly weird like a whale would’ve served that point better (plus, imagine a whale trying to attack the alliance would be hilarious). 9.2% think it’s just an inconsistency (maybe Isayama realised a whale would’ve been *too* funny).

I want MORE OF TOMS GOAT SHEEP BEAST

No I'm not calling him Ksaver, I will die on this hill

  WHY DO YOU THINK WE HAVEN’T SEEN MORE SHIFTERS SIDE WITH THE ALLIANCE? 2,046 Responses

The shifter crew that appeared to join the alliance created some confusion among readers. Why, for instance  was Kruger there but not Frieda? Where was Lara Tybur? What was the deciding factor in whether or not a shifter returned for the battle? The most popular in world explanation was that  “Zeke could only awaken those he’d met before” (33.6%). It very  narrowly edged out the more practical reason “It’s so we only see the shifters the audience is familiar with” (32.1%). 16.9% believed the Founding and Warhammer couldn’t be used because those are Eren’s titans. And 14.1% believed the reason specific titans were brought back was ideological - they where the only ones who would side with the alliance.  

I am a bit disappointed that Kruger and Grisha are fighting for the alliance now. It just doesn't really make sense that the people who helped Eren get to this point would help stop him. I'm hoping that this isn't them acting independently and are just being controlled by someone.

Ymir is the one controlling all the titans. Why the fuck is she making them fighting eachother? The titans fighting was silly

With Kruger and Grisha helping the Alliance, at this rate, Carla will come back from the dead and disown Eren.

Eren Krueger would not help the alliance he would work with Eren him and Eren have done the same thing on different scales Krueger to the end was steadfast that he did the right thing

I have been thinking that what if we see Zeke's resurrected (or whatever thing you may call it) titan fighting alongside the Alliance?

  FINGERSTEIN? 2,074 Responses

A majority of 57.9% are ALL ABOARD the Fingerstein cart train. 27% seem a little perplexed at how this crack ship blew up from only a few panels together. Well - there’s your answer! 15.1% do not approve of Fingerstein.

Isayama goated with the Jeanpiku content tbh as he should

pikujean/fingerstein omg i ship but i ship mikajean also lmao dont @ me 😔🤚🏻

i’m so glad i got fingerstein content after my months of work for it

Fingerstein is the logical shipping of the only two characters with brains still alive.

That image of a horse and cart made me choke

Does jean like pieck or still inti mikasa?

Nice ship tease of Fingerstein from Isayama, Jean and Pieck are both good characters and deserve to be happy. ^^

  HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT LEVI FINALLY FULFILLING HIS VOW TO SLAY THE BEAST TITAN? 2,118 Responses

Last month, Levi seemed prepared to give up on his promise to kill the beast titan and we as a fandom were as well. So congratulations to the 32.5% who correctly predicted that Levi might still make the kill on our 136 poll!

A majority at 52.1% were glad to see Levi get to fulfill his vow to slay the Beast Titan. After the many chapters of build up, it’s no wonder. 26.5% were just shocked he actually did it - seriously, how many years have we watched Levi ruminating over monke? 12.1% were disappointed and had wanted Levi to let it go. Don’t worry friends, fanfiction is always there for your Zevi coffee shop AU needs. 9.3% have nothing to say about it.

Where's the 'YAAAAS QUEEN' option for Levi killing Zeke tbh!!

I can’t believe Levi actually did it.

i saw the page where levi finally kills zeke before reading the chapter and I was upset bc major spoiler + it was v visually striking or whatever, so i was v pleasantly surprised that it still managed to take me by surprise. Levi is so savage !

After beheading Zeke, how would you read Levi's expression?

Anyone referring to Levi killing Zeke as "fanservice" is a loser who probably hates Levi for his popularity. Why should everyone else fight for what they want, while he gets nothing?

On Levi killing Zeke, I feel like that's narratively sloppy and only serves as some shitty ass way to make Levi relevant, since there isn't really much to his character anymore. Zeke brought the Titans back to help stop Eren, so technically he's apart of the alliance, right? So why does only he have to pay for his sins, and not anyone else who have committed genocide, partook in war crimes, or perpetuated animosity and hatred towards the Eldians?

Zeke is really dead? :((( I'm sad

I hoped Levi would give up on his revenge, but I liked how Zeke died.

I really liked this chapter but I still feel like something is up with zekie boi. He doesn't feel done yet

Obsessed with how Levi achieved his goal and wasn't even that happy about it. It was so funny to see people treat his vow as this holy grail he would only be happy and at peace if he gained and yet...wow. Doesn't look like the only thing that would make him happy was killing Zeke for Erwin after all huh? Imagine that.

  WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH THE BEAST TITAN POWER NOW THAT ZEKE IS DEAD? 2,052 Responses

A perfect 50% slice of respondents think the Beast Titan is heading straight for Historia’s baby. After all, we haven’t seen any baby inherit any titan in the story; now’s as good a time as any. 37.6% think titan inheritance is done due to the probable end of the curse soon. 5.5% think with Falco being possibly the only titan alive with Zeke’s spinal fluid in him, the titan will be fully inherited by him. And there are many more thoughts on that subject!

Could someone still eat him? How "fresh" does a dead shifter have to be? ???

All this time I was thinking it will randomly go to a newborn eldian baby

back to the founding titan

Eren inherit  the beast titan

floch will be resurrected

Give it to Reiner

Dam. i wanted it to go to levi:))

honestly i don’t know i’m hoping it could be used in case anyone is like about to die yk? but if not i think falco could take it

i am still not sure zeke is dead tho. bet isayama will throw us a curveball like with the serumbowl, when 90% were already attending armin's funeral and then sic! it's erwin who gets the axe

I believe Eren will end the Titan curse and the Titan power will vanish

I believe that the power of the Beast Titan will vanish forever, together with the other titan powers.

i cant answer this, its either historia or falco.

i couldn't say not with Isayams bizzare ideas lmao

I don't think anyone will inherit it before the end of the series, but not necessarily because the curse ends. It's just who gets it will be irrelevant.

I don't think it's going to be important at this point.

I don’t fucking know at this point anymore lol

I dont think it will be adressed

I think zeke may come back, I still don't think he's done yet

im torn between the historia's baby theory where the baby will inherit it or falco will inherit it completely.

Inherited by Historia's baby if Zeke is dead... but that's a big if!

It was already transferred to Falco before Zeke died

It went to a random Eldian baby,  we probably won't get to know who that is by the end of the manga.

It's in a baby in the fort

Might just disappear.

No clue but this is still pretty stupid.

No clue, I just really hope it doesn't go to Historia's baby like a lot of people are theorizing because I'd prefer an ending where she/he is the first child in 2,000 years to be born in a world free of the titan's rule. It just sounds the most fitting to me.

The Beast power is going to pass through paths where Eren and Ymir are at. It's very difficult to predict even though Historia's baby is a nominee for it.

The beast titan will go back to Ymir in paths

The kid is going to transform in  the middle of being delivered, killing Historia in the process.

Since Zeke was fused with Eren's spine-bug-body, it might me transferred to him.

Why is it so sure that historias baby will inherit it? I mean it could be but is there no other Eldian giving birth ?

Ymir is too occupied with the rumbling and titans to send the power to a new beast. It’s be a bit too coincidental if Historia’s child gets it

Zeke convinced Ymir to return Eldia to monke. Everyone is now best titan

  KILLING ZEKE SEEMS TO HAVE STOPPED THE RUMBLING, AS THE ALLIANCE PREDICTED. DOES THIS MAKE SENSE FOR YOU? 2,112 Responses

In our chapter 133 poll we asked if killing Zeke would have any effect on stopping the rumbling and only 4.2% of people thought it would, so we aren’t sure whether to side eye these results or assume a lot of people had a change of heart in the last 4 months.

35.9% agree that Zeke was always the key linking Eren to the full Founder abilities, so his death would put the rumbling on hold. However, just a tiny fraction fewer (35.6%) think we need more info about this, given chapter 122 where Eren convinced Ymir to go with his plan. 16.5% think the halt in the rumbling is just part of a clever ruse by Eren. 12% think chapter 122 made it clear that the Founder’s powers no longer need royal blood, so this development doesn’t make sense.

Outside of killing Eren; Zeke dying seems like the only way the Rumbling could've been stopped. And with all the shows and movies I've seen with the 'leader/controller dies so army stops' it doesn't come across as cheap.

wtf is Eren doing ? If killing Zeke was the way to do it (which is quite weird since royal blood seemed no longer revelant as of 122, but alright, let's admit it), couldn't he have done something to prevent Zeke from leaving paths ????

It was a very confusing chapter. Ymir switching sides and Zeke's death stopping the rumbling made no sense. We need more information.

I really wanna know why the rumbling stopped

  WHAT BEST MATCHES YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE LOTUS IMAGERY? 2,086 Responses

Was it symbolic or aesthetic? Functional or pure cinge? We had to ask about the usually lotus imagery that while beautifully drawn drew scorn from some parts of the fandom. 38.3% called it primarily symbolic, 37.1% saw it as purely aesthetic. 12.8% considered it “annoying Armin worship”, and 7.9% thinking it perhaps there was a functional reason for the character positioning. There where, of course, plenty of write-ins as well...

It looks sick af

In the final moments, Armin gave thanks to everyone around him for lending their strength. A lesser man might have claimed this to be HIS doing, since Armin indirectly triggered the whole turnaround. The humility is genuine and I respect him deeply for it.

xavier holding Armin was kinda cool but not really.

Quite possibly the worst panel in the manga, both in terms of composition (Bert’s hands are not that big) and theme (Kruger wouldn’t side with the alliance)

Something out of a satanic ritual for the crimson king

STAN ARMIN FOR CLEAR SKIN

Stupid Armin wank and the dialogue makes it cringe.

The panel is fine but the dialogue.... good lord, it makes me physically cringe

The positioning is aesthetic and symbolic, but also protective of Armin.

They're protecting Armin

Up until this moment I was so confused by who Xavier was holding. So it was Armin, makes sense, thanks.

This panel remembers me if a panel where ymir had a contract with the devil. I feel like Armin was like the messiah. Im not sure

A great set up to a huge blow to Eren

Aesthetics and function- if there were any of Eren’s goons still active, they could step in before it could get Armin.

agree with points 3 and 4 😭😭😭 please armin gets handed so much shit on a silver platter FOR WHAT

armin best boy don't hear you

ARMIN HELOS

armin king

Armin worship. Not annoying.

BEAUTIFUL INCREDIBLE JUST WOW POWER IF FRIENDSHIP

Its probably one of the best panels in the series, we just need Krueger and grisha motivations to be there

Kinda cheesy but at the same time beautiful

Didn't even realise it was lotus imagery. I thought it was just a cool shot

Don't have a huge opinion, it looks really cool and I bet there can be deeper meaning found in it.

I don’t really know to be honest but I thought the page looked badass

I have no opinion on this except wow grisha chest hair

I loved it! Armin definitely deserved such beautiful imagery. He is trully pure and kind hearted being who wishes for peace.

I think Isayama loves to imagine his panels in a museum or gallery one day.

CONFUSED

i thought it looked lame

I thought this scene was a bit corny

I'm already conflicted by who is standing here so I really don't know what to think.

IT LOOKS LIKE THE DEVIL THEORY.

It would be epic without Armong

It's aesthetic, but it also functions as a way to allow the alliance to escape the blast zone before Armin transforms. These titans protect Armin long enough to get everyone else out.

It's Armin supremacy😭😩

It's just cringe.

It's the GREATEST PANEL IN ALL OF THE MANGA. VIVA ARMIN!!!!

It's WONDERFUL and NECESSARY Armin worship

It’s a beautiful and touching image, but also a bit too much Armin worship.

It’s a reference to Naruto arriving at konoha to fight pain, that’s exactly what Armin is, a Naruto.

Xaver’s titan can be seen as a devil since it’s a Ram, he’s holding armin in his outstretched hands. I think this is what all the Ymir Apple foreshadowing is, Armin is the apple

probably mostly for aesthetic but also knowing isayama it's probably a bit more than that. i think it shows how armin and his ideologies are key. also, "The Lotus flower is regarded in many different cultures, especially in eastern religions, as a symbol of purity, enlightenment, self-regeneration and rebirth. Its characteristics are a perfect analogy for the human condition: even when its roots are in the dirtiest waters, the Lotus produces the most beautiful flower." really fits aot ngl

  WHAT KIND OF BATTLE CAN WE EXPECT AGAINST THE SPINE CREATURE? 2,048 Responses

In yet another detour on the route to actually battling Eren, Reiner was seen wrestling the spine creature in the closing pages of the chapter. What kind of battle can we expect from this new challenger? 32% believe it will be a quick one since Armin will destroy it with his blast. 30.8% are not so optimistic, suggesting weird paths shit will happen first. 20.4% believe Reiner will have his Helos moment killing the creature with a spear. 9.3% selected a surprise Ymir with a steel chair.

Reiner will pierce it using one of the broken Eren bones as a spear like Helos personified

something creepy and disturbing will happen idk

Something creepy and mindblowing, no doubt.

The most powerful creature in aot will die by a single dramatic punch

The Spine creature is indestructible.

There won't be a battle against it.

a dumb one.

Reiner is Thor in Ragnarok fighting Jörmungandr, he is going to kill the creature and finish the Titans Powers, just to die soon after.

Both a battle and some weird Paths shit with Ymir

Reiner will die holding it back

Idk. Just hoping Reiner made it out alive.

Dear lord I have no idea, the only thing I know is Reiner Helos

If we get a fistfight a la Heaven's Feel I will cry tears of joy

It'll be inconsequential compared to Eren returning

It’s not the founding spine. The founding spine is with Eren on Paradis and once the alliance realizes that, it will be too late.

Its already dead, next chapter either Reiner is dead or he has a confrontation with Eren

It will be destroyed by Armin’s transformation

I think the explosion is the best chance for it to die, but I don't know if it'll go down that easy.

I think this is probably it for Reiner. After all he's endured, dying a heroic death would be good, despite me loving his character.

Dunno Reiner's all beat up i don't even know if he can withstand what that big ass spine is going to do

Either by using the warhammer spear to kill it , or some weird paths stuff (Maybe talking to Eren)..

Reiner will fucking die, hopefully

Reiner will keep pushing the spine creature back and tackling it to the ground to do all that he can to prevent it from reconnecting with the Founding Titan's head, and then Armin will land the finishing blow to destroy it thanks to the explosion from the  Colossal Titan's transformation.

Probably another asspull or power of friendship bs.

Punch it like Chris Redfield did with BOULDER

BIRD EAT WORM

Both Reiner and the spine creature will die in the Armong nuke

However way he deals with it, I hope he survives!!!

Can we even expect a battle against it? I was assuming it'd just drop dead sometime lol

who even cares at this point. Whether it is spine-kun or NPC shifters, I am tired of seeing the crew fight mindless opponents.

Why does it care so much about that head? That's not a joke question -- if that body's a Titan, it has options; and if it's a Warhammer construct, the whole thing is a means to an end -- so what does it have to lose?

  WILL REINER ACHIEVE HELOS STATUS BY DEFEATING THE SPINE CREATURE AND/OR EREN? 2,062 Responses

The stage is finally set and we will see if Reiner becomes the hero he once yearned to be. 38.7% of respondents think everyone’s a winner everyone was a part of playing the mythical role of Helos. 32.8% say simply that yes, Reiner will become a Helos figure in defeating the spine thing, or Eren, or both. 15.3% say no, for whatever reason Reiner will not become a new Helos. 13.3% think Reiner has already reached Helos status (the world is still in terrible danger but I like that positivity).

can’t wait to see Helos Reiner!!!

Reiner is my favorite character and I'm really torned between wanting him to die because that'd bring him peace, or wanting him to live to see his mom and take care of Gabi and Falco

I got the bad feeling that even Reiner Helos is going to add to that Mong bullshit somehow. I hope I'm wrong.

I'm hyped for next chapter because it will be the time for us Helos believers to rise, but I'm nervous, because I'm sure that it will come with Reiner's death and I'm not emotionally ready for that.

  IS EREN REALLY DONE, OR IS THERE ANOTHER ACE UP HIS SLEEVE? 2,098 Responses

A pretty solid majority of 62.2% think Eren has more fight left in him. Whaaat, really? Seems out of character. 17.8% think that he’s still in control of the situation, whether he’s dead or alive! 13.4% don’t think he can come back after Armin’s boom, and 6.6% think he may be out of ammo but that Ymir will keep up the fight.

Hope Eren isn't defeated

I think that eren is ready for all of this. Rather hes just die or have another plan but i hope at least the scout know that eren love them and doesnt have other choices.

I am on alliance side but I dont think the fight is over. I want a plot twist and more explanation esp about ymir

Shits an obvious bait lmao. Yams is gonna pull another sneaky on us like he has done since the very beginning. I still haven’t lost faith in Master Yama.

I want Eren to be alive, not because I “like the Rumbling” or because if I’m a Yeagerist (I’m actually pro Alliance), but because I like the story to make literary sense. To me, Eren getting beat in a single chapter after proving that he was incredibly OP was not good writing imo.

If this was genuinely the end, it would have absolute garbage, but every sign points to Eren winning. If you look at the chapter knowing the Avengers have already lost, it's great.

I really don’t think eren is dead. There is no way they would kill him without having any final words

  WITH THE ALLIANCE APPEARING TO HAVE THE UPPERHAND, SOME NEW THEORIES ABOUT EREN HAVE EMERGED. WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING DO YOU THINK HAVE MERIT? CHECK ALL THAT APPLY. 2,022 Responses

It wouldn’t be Attack on Titan without a host of new theories with each new chapter! We tried to grab the most common ones to see which had the most traction. A whopping 67% believe there is merit to the theories that Eren knew this was going to happen and it’s part of his plan. Nearly 40% are open to the idea that Eren is remote control powering his titan form from Paradis. About 34% are open to the theory that he’ll touch Historia’s baby to restart the rumbling and 24% haven’t discounted a Lelouch ending. Only 14% of the fandom believe it’s game over for Eren.

my theory is he's faking his death to see if peace is truly achievable - If the Marleyans try to kill the Alliance, the Rumbling will inmediately continue.

I'm holding out for Eren being hidden in the skeleton's ass. Don't get mad if your headcannon doesn't come true. Most people will probably enjoy the ending and that's fine.

Eren hiding like a fckin coward while people are trampled and his friends put their lives at risk for their own goals then Eren using a child to trample some more is the most ridiculous theory I've ever seen.

Eren might wake up and continue his path forward somehow

I hope big twist next chapter

i hope Eren doesn’t just pull a lelouch.

I hope Eren Yeager doesn’t die and I also hope he doesn’t love anyone from “Attack on Titan”

Eren's not done but rumbling won't start again.

Grisha will free Eren from the burden of his consequences that he started all those years ago.

Eren could've disabled the titans powers when he wanted but didn't so he's probably realizing somme illumination from his time with Ymir

Eren wants to die at the hands of the alliance

Eren would try to activate the rumbling again  but there could be a "Miscalculation" that could interfere with his goal (i.e... Historia's child probably inheriting the Beast Titan), Hange: "You said "fight" twice, does this mean it's a two round fight?" The rumbling will restart.

He knows everything that’s happening and he said he will keep moving forward so there’s no way he’s finished yet.

he probably WANTS them to stop him, because he can't stop himself, Honestly don't know, I just know he's alive, monke is dead :(

Eren is not in Paradis, if he was the plotline of Mikasa resolution about killing Eren would be wasted completely because it would avoid making Mikasa having to answer the question and develop a bit of character, despite being set up multiple time during this arc.

I think he has something else up his sleeve that probably isnt mentioned here.

There's so many people said that he will touch historia's baby. Idk i'm alliance but the theory make sense.. I hope not yeah..

What if he's done everything because he knew he would be defeated and that it'd bring peace? He's seen everything happen, if I understood correctly, so he knew he'd be defeated at some point. Maybe that'd mean it was all a part of his plan to bring peace, WHT power is plausible but I don't think he is controlling it remotely in Paradis (that would be a joke on him after all his "moving forward" speech and all). I was thinking about Eren doing the hardening like Annie did to save himself and probably have another card up his sleeve.

He still has some last moments to fight on his own at least, if need be

He wanted to be stopped.

He'll try one final thing, only to be stopped by Mikasa&Reiner for good.

He's actually asleep like we've seen in 131 and like we've seen 2 times before. Armin will talk with his child self in order to help him wake up. When he wakes up, he regrets everything.

he's gonna cry and come back. the end.

  EREN AND HISTORIA’S POVS ARE THE BIGGEST MYSTERIES REMAINING. WITH ONLY TWO CHAPTERS LEFT, WHEN DO YOU EXPECT TO SEE THEM?

The fandom has far more confidence in getting Eren POV chapter than Historia’s with most respondents thinking we’ll get Eren’s perspective in the next chapter. Our fingers are crossed too!!

I hope we see Eren and Historia's POV next chapter

I just wanna know when we’ll see erens POV I feel like the alliance win is too good to be true. Feeling like there’s gonna be an upcoming twist

there should be eren's pov even though its just him inside the titan saying ARRRRRGGGGHHHH (LOL)

Im fucking dying to see Historia again my girl needs her POV of this shitshow

What we can still get is a conclusion on Eren's future memories, and possibly closing up the plotholes like why did Grisha give Eren his titans. Unless Isayama forgot. Maybe the reason Eren's POV is hidden from us is a SHOCKING plot twist that he planned for his nakama to destroy Hallucigenia-chan and stop the Rumbling. Because as we all know, Eren's new motto is ""I just keep snoozing forward, until I destroy, like, 50% of my enemies, and then I want to be stopped"".

We neeeeed Eren POV, we have too many questions

I'm really most interested in an eren pov.  I want to know what has been going through his mind this entire time and his opinion on the outcome

  IF THIS IS THE END OF THE FIGHT, WERE YOU SATISFIED WITH THE FINAL BATTLE? 2,106 Responses

If this was the final battle, were you satisfied? For close to 60% of the fandom that answer is yes, with 22.7% saying it surpassed their expectation and 36.6% selecting that while they’d have done some things differently they were satisfied overall.  On the negative end of the spectrum, 21.2% thought there was potential but it was cut short, while 9.5% consider this final battle stupid from start to finish.

I thought the final battle was over very easily, but it’s not a cliche shonen power of friendship win considering thousands of innocent people have already been crushed to death and the political situations with non effected countries will be a mess.

I really hope that wasn't everything

I really hope we get to see Eren have a final moment with the others, specifically with Armin and Mikasa.

We better get one last Reiner Vs Eren fight before this shit ends

It feels too wholesome for a final AOT battle...

It felt a bit too compact. The content could easily be expanded upon to create more impact.

If this is the end of the fight then the ending is pretty dogshit ngl, unless we get Erens titan vs reiner one last time

I really hope Reiner is okay :((

It was strong thematically and the battle was interesting.

Think about all the times a character has delivered their final blow with some snarky, raging or otherwise power-flexing way throughout SNK. When it was Armin’s turn to deliver a finishing blow, he did it with such humble humanity and... dare I say love (no, not ship-wise, just general love and respect for the “other side”). Guys, Armin really SHONE this chapter. Not because he took the spotlight, but because he went forth with love.

  DESCRIBE THE CHAPTER IN ONE WORD 1,436 Responses

Our friend on Twitter, @hooveredbraunie, created a word cloud of responses from each of the 5 ratings from “Rate the Chapter”. We think it’s makes a perfect snapshot of the fandom.

Looking at the list in it’s entirely, yhe top five most chosen words are:

Amazing [71] Good [42] Monke [38] Epic [37] Awesome [28]

  WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 2,115 Responses

Eren. Alive. 36% are hoping the fight isn’t over. Eren talking to someone in his last moments is next with 18.7%. Of the less popular options are Historia (10.4%), Mikasa making her move (8.7%), Levi wondering what to do now that Zeke is gone (8.2% ), and someone, anyone,  in the alliance dying (6.1%).

Help i need answers😔

I HOPE WE CAN SEE EREN

Hange shard when Hange shard when Hange shard when

I just hope eren’s alive

i just hoped to see an alliance death but no

I just wanna see ymir with historia once again

I just want everyone to have a happy ending but that’s nearly impossible now

i just want historia

I'm just waiting for the next chapter for eren to appear

I just want Levi to die. He deserves to rest, god

I just want to see Reiner Bertholdt reunion

I really want Eren to have a final conversation with someone, preferrably Armin or Mikasa but at this point anyone will do.

I JUST WANT LEVI TO REUNITE WITH ERWIN IN SOME WAY IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK

Next chapter better be an Ererei talk istg

If Eren is going to lose can we at least get and alliance character dying? At least one!??

I just want to see in the next chapter if the fight is really over but with the WHT and

Please stay alive Eren T^T

pls don’t end :( i can’t emotionally take it :(

Historia's baby, it might not be yet.

I just need more answers 😅

I JUST WANT THE REST OF THE ALLIANCE STAY ALIVE!!!! AND ALSO EREN!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭

  WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING PLATFORMS DO YOU USE TO DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,954 Responses

While Twitter (56.1%), Reddit (41.7%), Discord (24.9%), YouTube (20.5%) and Instagram (16.4%) are still the top platforms for discussing Attack on Titan, TikTok (12.5%) , in its debut on the poll, beat out Tumblr (11.2%), Facebook (7.1%) and a whole slew of other platforms.

  ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 663 Responses

Hey there!

I’m so scared lol😀

I’m surprised my fav characters are still alive

Is eren and reiner alive?

I'm still hoping that they can have a happy ending. The deserves it after all the fights.

I've heard so many different theories on how this series could end and now that we are on the final chapters almost nothing has gone with my expectations. I was blown out of the water with how this final fight went. With expectations for this series so high its impossible for it to satisfy everyone. But I'm really happy with how everything turned out. A lot of plot threads are being closed up in satisfying ways and I'm content with the character development everyone is getting.

There are a few things I've been disappointed about, like the lack of Eren's point of view. But I'll hold off judgment till the series ends. I think i'll enjoy rereading this section of the story once it's finished. I caught up with the manga around 117 and waiting monthly for these chapters was made everything seem longer that it probably actually was. Overall I'm happy with how everything went.

Zeke sort of reminds me of Johan from monster. both had a messed up asf childhood and life in general. both didn't find pleasures in life at all, like simple pleasures like tea or coffee to life and people. Because they knew for themselves life had no meaning. therefore both of them could do basically whatever they wanted sorta bc life had no meaning to them and was destined to go extinct if that makes sense. To them, their actions were justified bc they had no meaning in life. But armin, this hope in the world, also knew the world was cruel. however he chose to find pleasures in it rather than distrusting it all together. He found hope in his friends and reading and more, even if it meant getting hurt by people. I believe armin will talk. This chapter messed me up man. Zeke used to be my least favorite character cause he was weird but now he's one of my favs. His death was def one of the hardest for me. ugh what a beautiful chapter. I wish they all found meaning in life before.

Where is the scarf?

Just a reminder we haven't had Ackerman immunity to mind wipes become relevant yet! It's time, Mikasa.

what the heck is going on

WHERE IS HISTORIA BABY.

reiner helos gallirei canon zeke supremacy gabi gang hoes mad

Gabi has lots of potential, and it was smart to have her as a character study. I mean, not only do we get the perspective of a brainwashed child of war, but through her, it was shown that it's possible to end all conflicts through forgiveness. She is also a replacement for sasha (sharpshooter). Levi is no shooter, but I hope he takes Gabi, and/or the other war kiddies, under his wing. I hope Levi could find another purpose, and I'm imagining being a trainer/teacher best suites him. He cares a lot and gives good guidance with his experience and wisened words…

Gay Ymir please come back and marry your wife

Honestly, I was always kinda neutral towards Zeke. Never really loved him, never really hated him. Hated what he did to the Scouts and subsequently to Erwin, but that hate really didn't last long. He was just kinda...there for me. He was an interesting character, and brought a lot to the series, but I guess it wasn't until the chapter with him and Eren as they went through his and their father's memories (the BIG chapter) that I started to warm up (?) to him. I don't know, it's hard to explain how I really felt about him overall. I will admit though, that his death, although very sudden with Levi coming out of nowhere lol, was impactful and I think a really poetic end for him. Him finally realizing the true meaning of living, seeing the beauty of their cruel world at the very end, and helping to bring an end to the Rumbling, left a very good impression on me. So, in the end...I liked Zeke. He was a good character.

Zeke and Armin's talk is... decent, I guess. Like everything in the final arc, it suffered from bizarre pacing issues, so while the core of the talk is decent, we essentially have Armin changing Zeke's entire worldview with 1 small speech. Then SUDDENLY DEAD PEOPLE COME BACK TO LIFE LEVI BEHEADS REINER HELOS ARMIN NUKE RUMBLING IS STOPPED... why the hell did we get two fanservice battle chapters just that all this gets stuffed into one?

I want Levi alive. So he can open his dream tea shop. I want him happy

I was happy to see Ksaver's titan, Armin and Zeke's talk moved me, and I'll admit I never thought the spine creature was sentient until this chapter. I'm sad the series is ending. What do I have left to look forward to each month?

Reiner Helos oh shit

I am very disappointed that is all. I feel betrayed to just read shounen battle manga story at the climax of the story. I thought Trost is over. And trost had less of the naruto tropes.

i can only hope that all the characters can live and end with a happy ending, this is ridiculous, but I hope it ends with a happy ending

I can see why some people wouldn't like it but I personal loved it

I can't answer 50% of this, I think my thoughts are unique lmao

I can't believe we are nearing the end... AOT has been with me for years. It has been a steady companion that has asked me to reflect on my morals and convictions. It has presented different points of view to me that I had to engage with. It has helped me shape my views on the world we are living in. I don't think I am ready to say goodbye to AOT yet. But I have to.

i miss eren

I miss monke

I miss zeke

I NEED MORE

I NEED MORE ANSWERS

I need more chapters, man.

I really don't get the hate for it

I really don't like Armin

I realy don't now what iysyama doing

Wish Hanji was still alive

Worst chapter of the entire series. If eren was actually defeated, and being defeated wasn't his intention, this chapter ruined the series and his character.

I sympathize for baby Zeke's struggles and the trauma he had to experience but honestly he ain't special in this manga, everyone has a sad fucking backstory. He was a pathetic little sadist, always puffed up about how Clever™ he was for double-crossing people and yet never seeing the obvious betrayal coming from Eren. I know the justification for that is "aw he cared for his baby brother uwu" but that was what made him so pathetic - for all his posturing about being smart and pragmatic for the Greater Good (which was his justification for the euthanasia plan) he was just as emotional and fallible as all the people he looked down on. His lack of self-awareness and depth of selfishness disgusts me. This ending was too good for him. He died as a martyr and he deserved much, much less. Tbf, for baby Zeke's sake, I am glad he got to see some happy memories of Xaver towards the end, but I thought his death was tasteless and a slap in the face of all the people he murdered before. (*ahem* Mike)

Suddenly grew a soft spot for zeke.

Zeke is honestly such a masterclass in character writing and it is so impressive that Isayama has written so many amazing characters. I started out really hating Zeke for what he did to Miche, and that impression carried for a long, long time, even until it was revealed that he had his own agenda, that he might be playing the long game helping Eldians, I didn't believe it because of what he did to Miche. In fact, it was Eren's cooperation with Zeke that made me turn on Eren post-timeskip. When we got that hint of Zeke backstory, I was actually kind of miffed. Like no way, Isayama, you're not going to make me sympathize with Zeke. Not happening. Yet, after I read the chapter, my thoughts were Grisha is a shit dad. Absolute shit dad. Anyway, I was still glad Eren bested Zeke in Paths, though once the Rumbling activated, I realized that I agreed with Zeke's plan better. So he's really become an interesting character for me, and I was even really excited to see him return at the end of last chapter. I still don't like him very much, but he is incredibly compelling and interesting, and I'm definitely a bit more forgiving of his earlier actions. Miche's death still sucked though.

Zeke is one of the most well written character of all time

Zeke is so fucked up, but he's hilarious and extremely meme-able. He's a tragic, well-written character who committed monstrous acts. If he didn't die here, he should have been locked up for the rest of his life.

Zeke is such a underrated but sad character. He truly taught his plan was the best Eldians. He was brain wash from his own parents and send them into pure titans, while his half brother had a normal childhood. In the end, he sacrificed himself to defeat Eren.

Zeke is super smart and very strong man ; he was defending his own past and his own sadness ; but he lost when he tried to follow his wrong feeling of sympathy toward eren ; he was thinking that he is a victim either from their father; this makes him lost everything he lived for until this moment..

Zeke is very great and one of the most important character to the story, his development also very good, i'll miss him

Zeke jeager was of course the first of the two jeager brothers and surprisingly the first son of Grisha I think as Hajime Isayama presented him it was awesome but I still not sure about his death is he really dead or is there any twist left in the last two chapters but still 🤞🤞 let’s see what is left in the series.

Zeke just wanted the eldians to be free but the way he wanted to make them free was wrong. That’s why I didn’t like him that much. But I think right now I’m sad that he had to die.

Zeke made many decisions in order to achieve his goal of ending the painful cycle of Eldian life, and because of that I feel sorry for him. I feel sad that he felt that he needed to make those decisions, and I’m glad that he was able to finally see the beauty in life at the end.

Zeke's a very interesting character to me. I love the irony of Grisha teaching him how cruel the world is in the hopes that it would radicalize him, only for it to make him wish he was never born. The guy never got the chance to just be a regular kid, except for when he was with Tom Ksaver. Tom acted like a parent should to a child, and as such Zeke ended up following through on Tom's vision rather than Grisha's. He was supposed to save the Eldian people, but came to the conclusion that it would be better if they were wiped out. I'm glad his past was brought up again in 137 where Zeke was contrasted with Armin. Zeke was born into a role with high expectations, compared to Armin who earned his expectations through repeated successes. Armin was able to grow up as the regular kid that Zeke wishes he was. His past traumas also lead him to project his own insecurities, which we can say by his assumption that all Eldians are born to suffer, and in thinking that Eren was brainwashed by Grisha, both of which aren't necessarily true. Overall I'd say Zeke is one of my favorite characters in the series, and I'm just scratching the surface of why I like him so much.

Zeke was used by others in some way, over his entire life. The restorationists goals. Kusaver using him to ease his own guilt. Marley’s military. Eren as well. I can’t help but wonder how he could have turned out if anyone had sincerely given a fuck about his own happiness.

Hate that Historia is continuing to be ignored.

I feel happy that most people are ok, but I just know that it can't last long. I hope they get a fast death at least if it all goes to hell;-;-;

I feel like eren is going to get his full freedom

I feel like it was mega rushed

I feel like people need to chill out quite a bit. Big surprise, the ending does not go according to your theories, who might’ve predicted that? Please take a moment to clear your head of the entitlement you might have accumulated in the last months, sit back and enjoy the rest of the ride. No need to get so angry over every little detail. And if you can’t even do that? You’re free to leave, but please stop spreading hate everywhere, thanks!

I feel like the reaction was so overblown. We have more chapters left, people shouldn’t disown the series now

I haven't cared about the direction this story's been going in since timeskip so I'm just along for the ride

i hope everyone will die at the end

I hope I could get inside that universe

I hope the ending won't be another typical ending like naruto with UMI DA. Whatever it is, I trust in Isayama who is a master in twist somewhat definitely can't wait for the next chapter :)

WTF Cringevangers could defeat him easy like that.. when they fight with yeagerist Annie and Reiner got heavy damage but fight against 9 Titans ? This is too easy to win.. they have not more sacrifice

Yams has done an impressive job tying this work as a whole, in terms of plot, character development, and themes

I hope there's chance for annie and armin being together because i've ship them since season 1 huhu

I hope this isn't a set up for talk-no-jutsu. One thing that set SnK apart from other fantasy/supernatural shonens was the least use of talk-no-jutsu (it was there way early in the manga and anime but still it was least). Overall, I guess when more information/clarification could've been given, we got more talk and a dissatisfying death, I expected more.

I hoped Armin would have escaped PATHS using a big brain plan

I hoped Mikasa would cut Eren out and feed him to Gabi

I just hope eren isn’t dead so that we can get one more plot twist of the series

I want everyone to be happy in the end please

I want levi to be able to tell Eren what he wanted to say to him :))))

it is mostly about zeke and armin but the other characters were also amazing, it is sad to see levi killing zeke with that expression, I'm not sure why but he is like anger to sad. anD MY ARUANI HEART OMGG, ISAYAMA DON'T KILL THEM PLS, JUST ONE COUPLE PLS T_T and additional, we are really not sure where's eren, is he really that head? what might happen next like will he continues the rumbling? who's the father of historia's baby? I hope it will be cleared in the next chapters, Im exciteddd!!

It kinda sucked.

It left a permanent stain on the name of the series, even if the ending is godlike or even if eren wins how the fuck are you going to explain this bullshit that makes zero sense and gives me vibes of a fanfic writer making it?

It left unanswered questions

It left us with more questions than answers, and I hope we get them soon. But it was satisfying overall

i love you isayama🥰😍😘 (pls don’t kill armin or mikasa i cant take this anymore🤣😁🤪🤩)

It makes me question "what will the alliance do next? Is Eren still alive? What happens to Historia?" Next chapter should answer all of that.

It ould have been longer to flesh out each scenario and make it more believable, Zeke's change would be better if a few pages more was used to add more detail to his change. The fight scene should be fine as it is. As for the death of Zeke it needs to be longer, it would have made the audience much more sattisfies, his death is a turning point and it could have played out better if Isayama paid more attention to it. But overall I enjoyed it.

it was absolutely amazing and has a great impact especially on armin, eren and mikasa

It was actually great and I think it's setting up the tone for something big in the next chapter

Truly devastating

u/animew3eb was here

It was all just so rushed and convenient- levi killing zeke like it's nbd, zeke being dead completely stopping their problem, all these random dead people coming back to life it's like - what is this? why rush things this much in the last 3 chapters?  i'm hoping isayama has something up his sleeve but the power of friendship defeating eren's still as of yet unexplained character change has left me super disappointed.

It was amazing as always and still leave me confused on certain parts but that's okay i will understand everything after it ends

It was an alright chapter, about what I really expected, as much as I'd like to I never thought Eren would win and the chapter ended the way I thought it would. With so much negativity surrounding this chapter hopefully the next chapter and the finale will ease people's mind, some people just need to remember this is a Shonen not a Seinen of course the alliance were gonna win.

It was awesome I just hope the last 2 chapters can emphasise this chapter and give it a bit more meaning

It was good definitely unexpected. If next chapter we don't see eren's POV than chapter 137 is bad.

It was good even if cheesy, looking towards 138.

It was good. Had some great moments like Reiner vs the spine creature and Levi fulfilling his promise. Zeke’s ending was really good too. But feel like a lot of potentially pivotal stuff happened with not the best delivery of explaining how/why. This may be revealed more in the final two chapters though so I won’t judge

It was good. The way we got emotions and fight scenes all in one chapter is another peak fiction writing skill from Isayama. As a lot of people think tho, some things shown in the chapter were confusing and kinda out of context, but I guess we'll gonna have all the answers in the last 2 chapters. Ngl, there was some obvious plot armor there in the Alliance side but I think Isayama already gave us enough suffering to ask for more deaths (man, just the thought of how EMA might end after this is more than enough). The ending will definitely define if AOT will go down at the best manga/anime of all time.

It was great! There are a lot of questions unanswered tho

it was great. i got goosebumps but knowing that there are only two chapters left i am really still wondeeing how things would end. knowing a lot of theories are circling on the internet i am also still confused of what will happen next so i am really looking forward on the fina chapters. uuuuuuu i dont want aot to end thoooo 😭

it was kinda confusing but it was really cool

It was kinda lame, I don’t want characters winning through power of friendship.

It was predictable, but the manner in which it was done was very good. I have more mixed feelings for eren since there is a possibility that he is dead.

It was really good, Although I side with eren, it was nice seeing the alliance getting a win

We surprisingly DIDN'T find out about the outcome of the standoff at fort Salta; last month I was sure leaving it as a cliffhanger was a waste of time since it was obvious that they were going to cooperate and aid the Alliance, but now that the Rumbling has been stopped, Maybe the twist next chapter is that the warriors arrive to see their loved ones dead/dying at Marleyan hands?

We're just rehashing the same lessons of previous arcs and we're just supposed to have conveniently forgotten them...both the feeling of powerlessness/futility of living and the message of "true freedom is..." were already covered by Eren himself back in Uprising and then in his convo with Shadis about what Carla wanted for him. Yams are you telling me he didn't learn a thing and we gotta see other people come to the same conclusions? Ok..........

Were in the Endgame now. Eren's seeming death is used to subvert expectations and is from the POV of Armin. He said goodbye to Eren expecting for him to die from the explosion, e does not say it as fact.

What a stupid chapter for my birthday.

While answering a couple questions, this chapter also made me realize that I didn't understand shit :) Maybe once the manga has ended and all my questions are answered, I will finally succeed in understanding this masterpiece.

I'm honestly shocked. I mean, every chapter got me shocked, but DAMN I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S GONNA COME TO AN END SOON WAAAAAAAAAAAH

Again, this this wasn’t enough the full list on write-ins, all 131 pages, are available. View as doc or pdf.

Thanks as always for your support of the community poll <3

[jupitersson]

So this is a little ~idea~ that I thought up a bit ago and, with the help of the crew of our MG discord, we were able to flesh out a bit of a new au for y’all. Special attention goes to @ifthebookdoesntsell, hope this makes your day a little better.

If I knew more about flipping houses and Youtube, maybe I’d write a fic of this, but here’s an outline for an au where rejanis flip houses on their Youtube channel: Homo-owners

Background:

Janis and Regina probably met in their mid-20s. The former went to college for civil engineering while the latter went for interior design, and their skills were both needed for an upcoming job for a kind, wealthy couple looking to build their dream home.

Through weeks and weeks of working together, discussing (arguing) and reworking their designs to suit the couples needs, they found themselves growing closer. They kept their feelings to themselves, not wanting to complicate their work, but once the job was done, Regina asked Janis out, and that was the start of their relationship.

They spent some time continuing the work they were doing, but eventually they decided that they could be putting their skills to use elsewhere: flipping houses.

The first few houses go well, and at some point Regina suggests they start a Youtube channel to start documenting their work.

“It’s like a really low budget HGTV show.”

“Low budget?”

“Well, lower than the budget of an HGTV show is relative.”

They struggle to name the channel, after Janis agrees to doing it, so they enlist the help of their friends to come up with as punny a name as they can.

After many failed puns, Karen manages to be heard over the chorus of bad gay jokes with what becomes the name of their channel, and later their brand: Homo-owners.

Main Fic:

The premise of the fic would probably be how their relationship evolves outside of the walls of their own home, and instead in the houses they’re flipping.

The first part would probably be their first set of videos for a specific house. It’s a little awkward, but Regina’s a natural on camera and Janis just needs to get used to explaining to the camera why it’s important that windows are a certain size and rooms are certain dimensions. They probably make a joke about how they wanted to call themselves the Property Lesbians but Regina was worried about copyright infringement.

The second part would be their first “I love you” inside a house, which they actually catch on camera. It’s probably been several months of being together, now, and it’s demo day for a certain house. Janis is filming Regina being cute (she’s wearing Janis’ clothes because all of hers are “too nice to get all dusty”) while wielding the sledgehammer, and it’s a really quick “God, I love you” from Janis. Regina ends up setting the hammer down and running up to Janis, smushing the camera between them and muffling the sounds of them kissing, but not her own reply of “I love you too, baby.”

Janis is half tempted to cut it out, but then she thinks that it’d be nice to have a video of this very special moment, so she leaves it in. It’s nice to go back to, sometimes.

The comments go fucking wild and it quickly becomes their most popular video.

The third part is probably a fight, sad as it is. The house they’ve been working on flipping has been expensive and incredibly problematic, and they’re almost close to abandoning it for being too much of a money sink. Regina’s being extra snippy and tense to the point that she snaps at Janis when she has to redo her designs because Janis found another problem. It turns into an entire production in front of their crew, both of them making more than a few personal jabs, until Regina storms out in tears and Janis just stands in the middle of the half-constructed house, pissed off and crying.

The fourth part would go over the tension between the couple as they finally finish up the problem house, mostly because both of them are too proud to apologize for getting frustrated and blowing up at each other. Janis doesn’t think it’s her fault and Regina’s reluctant to be first to say she’s sorry, even if she did start it. Eventually, they finish the house, and that’s when Regina finally breaks and apologizes for getting mad at Janis (and the cheap shots) when it wasn’t her fault. Janis apologizes for returning the anger instead of trying to de-escalate the situation, and they promise to talk through their feelings in a calm, mature way in the future, and to not let their work affect them to the point of hurting their relationship.

The fifth part would be… probably a good few years into flipping. They’ve blown up on Youtube, and Janis is finally ready to pop the question, so she grabs the camera and figures that the rest of their relationship progress is immortalized in film, why not the proposal. She details an entire plan of leading Regina through a property they’re thinking of buying into a completely decorated backyard, complete with fairy lights and roses. She has a cameraman hide on the sidelines while another follows them through the house. Regina makes all her usual comments (“Oh! Wouldn’t a window ledge be so nice here, baby? Put some pillows in there, have some tea!”) and Janis nods and smiles along before leading her to the backyard. Regina is stunned, and she walks into the center and turns in a circle before finally seeing Janis kneeling with the ring out. Janis gives a little speech that the camera can’t quite pick up, but everyone can see the way Regina’s crying as she nods.

The comments, again, go fucking crazy for the way Regina drags Janis up into a kiss, and then the way Janis picks Regina up and spins her around dramatically.

The sixth and final part would be post-wedding. It’s just a quick little thing, probably an Instagram story from Regina (because Janis cannot be trusted to run the Instagram). She’s a little teary, but smiling, and she says she has something she needs to tell Janis, but that she wants them to be there too. She keeps filming herself as she walks into the living room (immaculately decorated, as expected from them) and gets Janis’ attention. Janis immediately asks why she’s crying, and Regina just whispers, “I’m pregnant.”

It’s almost a recreation of their first “I love you” when Janis crushes the camera between them to hurriedly kiss Regina and express her happiness. It’s wholesome that way.

Anyways~ this is just my preliminary thoughts. I’m pretty pleased with this idea, and I wanna give special thanks to crew (you know who y’all are, I’m not @ing each and every one of you) and Ellis for asking me to give my further thoughts on this AU! Hope y’all liked this!

If you wanna drop an AU/scenario into my askbox and get an outline/bullet fic/headcanons, go ahead! I think these are fun!

[the-acid-pear]

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT last spin-off before Baki-Dou! This one actually happens after Baki: Son of Ogre and it's more about Hanayama so this will be fun! Time to read Baki Gaiden: Scarface ☺️

Chapter 1

No hace falta decir que quede re fisura de mi pelado pero bueno el Yakuza es bueno tambien

I looove color 😍

He's just 5 cm taller than Yuji-chan 🤣

Red eyes 😳

This is boring af but i will give it another chance

Chapter 2

Mean af kid smh :/

That mf hot as FUCK but we all know that

He's stupid 😂

Nakey

Ooohhyugyy flashbacks to his fight with Spec 😍☺️

Hana you are literally younger than him

HEHEOKJEJSHWG I MISS THE PRISONERS SM

WASN'T IT 4? STOP LYING YOU ASSHOLE

That ending was a bit 🥺 ngl

Chapter 3

I love that they have clothes his size

Kizaki is this you bro?

Mmm patas (judging Itagaki here)

OH SO THIS HAPPENS BEFORE THE CHILDHOOD SAGA?

SO HE WASN'T LYING HUH

It's been weeks but i need to read more

Chapter 4

"well, don't"

Kizaki has girlboss vibes

Same meal as when he was a kid... So cute

I love the effect Hana has on ppl

Chapter 5

Where... Is this gout thing going?

Why would Hana just, destroy a train?

ALI?!

Oh, no :/

I think i know who this T-Rex lad might be 😳

Mf went 😰

Aw bro this is sad af

Fang OwO

"the big muscle guy from America" beautiful description of Oliva

IGARIIII I MISS YOUUU 😭😭😭

It's funny how Kureha can revive ppl but cannot cure arthritis smh

Chapter 6

Damn he's LORGE

God i relate to this guy so bad

HE'S CRYING BRO 😢💔

Chapter 7

Hana needs to wear hats fr

STUFFED BEAR?!

I'm literally going to cry

Child? Idk if he's younger than you Hana

Chapter 8

BROOOO HAPPY ENDING IM GONNA CRYYY 🥺😭💞

Chapter 9

This is wholesome as fuck

"HANAYAMA IS BUDDHA"

T-Rex my beloved

Chapter 10

FISHERMAN HANA OBSESSED

Big fish!!!

A woman as example? Wow 😳

Motherfuckers took his ass smh

Glad he learnt how to swim, he didn't know when he was 15 <3

HOHWKHLSKDG 👁️👁️

Obsessed

Chapter 11

Um, orcas are literally right there??

He's pissed off >:D

AAYUTWUTQUWRURQRUWUSR

Small brain LOL!

Like boobs

King

Chapter 12

K-Kizaki. You are wearing a suit.

YESSS HANA GET HIS ASS 😍

THE FIRST VICE GRIP YOOO

Chapter 13

OBSESSED WITH BABY HANA

Men, WOOO

Girl what

Yo ignoring this freak, it would be cool af if Jack n Hana ever fought

A... Mf in the comments doesn't know Ricardo Milos is gay 🧍

Chapter 14

Drip

I love how kind he is

WAUSRAYEAYEEASYRS

At least there were no civilians hurt

Chapter 15

That WAS cool yeah

OF COURSE YOU PISSED YOUR PANTS

LOOK AT THEM ARHAJSJAJ

RED PANDA

I mean he's not wrong but he's past a hunk man

Chapter 16

Dilf

FOURTH TIME THEY SAY FAG WOOO NEW RECORD 👏

A penguin :y

This guy is kinda cool

Chapter 17

OH HI T-REX BABY 🥺

He's just trying his best man ough, this is sadder than Toba's backstory 😢

HEHEHE

UGZYFSYDyes GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH IM GOING TO CRY

Okay i looked it up and T-Rex is 17 I'm going to try avoid jail time and not say i want to kiss him

Chapter 18

Are those his gums? Is he toothless?

Bro he looks so peaceful 🥺,,,

Oh my god.

Chapter 19

Hey isn't this the cop from the second book?

This mf more op than Dorian or Baki (in the illusion sense)

NOOO I THOUGHT HE WAS A PET

Oh NVM utdduayeysrsyrate

Chapter 20

C'mon he's trying :/

I mean queen idk maybe a lil hot? I like idk girl

Pimp

He isss a gentleman~

Chapter 21

I have no idea what this guy is saying

Freak

Yo that's too far :/

Chapter 22

Oh shit that's true i never thought of it but all these men must suffer a LOT when it rains, especially considering all the broken and broken and broken bones they have

HEHEHE THIS DUD

OwO

Chapter 23

It's like that post of the hedgehog, legit funny tho

Oh no 😰

Oh he didn't have teeth fr i see

YUJIRO WIG? 😳

Fucked up man

Chapter 24

Shit this was a short one tf

Chapter 25

HE PUNCHED THE ILLUSION AWAY YOOO

This midget a freak bro

Chapter 26

Smoking his weed, dream blunt rotation

Idk man they bad guys but i like these assassins

Rip 😔💔 /j

Chapter 27

How did his pants fall?

Also he fights naked sm seeing him like that isn't even like 😳 lmao

Hey Hana? Hana bro? Don't die here bro

HEY HANA PLEASE???

Chapter 28

OH THANK GOD

T-REX AUGH BLESS YOUR SOUL 😭💞

OH MY GOD BABY DONT DIE OUT THERE

USTYEAYATEAEAA THIS WHORE

Oh hey Tokugawa

ITSSURYEAYSRSYEYES BALD 💀

Mf couldn't put on pants no pussy out sort of doctor

Chapter 29

RETSU, KATSUMI! Wait, wasn't this during the Raitai tournament? HE KNEW AND DIDN'T TELL BAKI? Brooo :/

A WOMAN YAHAJAHAFA poor kureha

WIG 😭💀

Yessss Shiba 😢💞

Assholes y'all are making me cry

"My boy Kureha always coming in clutch to deus ex machina the shit out of every dying character" he's our hero

Chapter 30

Kureha passed out is cute

They are gonna arrive and he's gonna be gone already i bet

I called it

Fucking legend

Chapter 31

Hana don't die NOW

Chapter 32

OH HEY YUJI-CHAN, THIS IS UNEXPECTED!

I'm gonna lose it.

Imagine thinking you can get a finger from Yujiro lmao

Moustache assassin hot

NICE

I was willing to believe that

Chapter 33 and last

He's stronger than Yujiro, he knows how to use doors! 😍

Yuichiro who? Hanayama babey

Hehe the dudesss, i recognize that noseless guy. I was gonna point him out when he first appeared but i chose not to

That outfit lmao

AUGH T-REX DONT DIE PLSSS 🥺

AUGH FUCK WORST CLIFFHANGER EVER PAIN AGONY DEATH AND HATRED IN THE WORLD!!!!

NVM GUYS THERE'S ONE MORE

Chapter 36

YOU GO T-REX KILL MAIM DESTROY

Oh god he's pissed off 👁️👁️

YESSS SHIBA YOU KING, MY SWEET BOY IS SAVED

Okay even bigger of a cliffhanger now :/

[katierosefun]

creator tag

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works! 

thank you @kckenobi​ and @pandora15 for the tag!! <3 so here are the works, in no particular order and also oh gee i am so sorry this got so painfully long you can tell i’m procrastinating on my final + also i just tend to run my mouth when im talking about writing asdffd

to these memories (After Darth Sidious is defeated, everything changes. Some for the better, others not so much. Mostly better though. (Or: Anakin becomes a dad. Rex rehabilitates clone troopers who no longer want to be a part of the army. Ahsoka gets a call from an old friend. And maybe Obi-Wan finds out it’s not just his enemies who don’t stay dead. Basically, everyone gets the happy ending they deserve.)

so this was my first major longform tcw fic, and i just. i have a lot of feelings about this fic, mostly nostalgia and lots of gratefulness. first of all, i think i met a lot of super cool people through this fic, and i also? just? idk, this was a major project that i kind of worked on to cope with post-tcw sadness + also just. general sadness about the world’s situation. writing this story was actually super healing for me, mostly because i just. really wanted to have something where happy endings existed. 

so this really...was an experience, and i’m so super grateful for everyone who read along. to this day, whenever i get a comment about this fic, i feel super happy because it makes me feel glad to know that there were some people who took comfort in this work, because i really wanted this fic to have that kind of effect on people. :’) 

there they are (Right before Ahsoka leaves for Mandalore, Rex distracts Bo-Katan so she could give her family a proper goodbye. (There's hugging. We just needed our trio to hug.)

i think this was one of my first tcw fics of 2020, and. i just remember impulse writing this after watching old friends not forgotten because i was just. so sad that we didn’t get an anakin and ahsoka hug or a trio hug or anything. i understand why they didn’t--like, i really, really do, but. but i think if there’s a theme i’m going through this year, it’s ‘this was sad, so i’m gonna make it happy!!!’, so...as my masterlist puts it, ‘dave filoni said no trio hug, so i said fine, i’ll do it’. 

uhhhhh, how very unusual of me, but!!! probably my working on a new original story. i’ve got the fourth draft of another story siting in the background, but. this other story idea came at me, and five outlines later, i started this story. i’m about three chapters down now, but. a snippet of the prologue: 

“Well…it’s also a rather important story,” Rosalind said. “Do you enjoy stories?”

“I want to be a writer,” I blurted, and I stopped at that. I fiddled with my mug, heat that had nothing to do with the hot chocolate or the fire rushing to my face. Silly, oversharing me—oh, what a young, lonely child I was back then. So desperate for conversation that I had grown out of practice and resorted to sharing details that the average stranger would not care for.

But then again, these were not the average strangers—although I’m sure you’ve figured that for yourself.

“Yes,” I said meekly. “I enjoy stories.”

“Well,” Dae said after some time, “it’s good that you’re a writer.”

I lifted my head, and this time, I saw Dae and Rosalind smile at each other. A softer smile, one that made me feel suddenly dreadfully, dreadfully lonely.

“You might want to write this down,” Rosalind said at last. 

And so I did. 

*and cue the actual story* i won’t say too much because adsfsdfsfd talking about my original work makes me feel awkward + also i am constantly in fear of people stealing ideas even though,,,even though i know the only person who can write this story is me, anyways, but uh. i will say that i have a plan for a five-part series that’s basically about a witch and a princess. there’s a prophecy in the background. there’s magic. there’s rivals to friends to enemies to lovers. there’s father figures + big sister figures + found family + ancient kingdoms + the real world blending with the fantasy world + uh i’ve said enough okeee bye that’s it

the moment was enough (The war ends. Ahsoka and Obi-Wan try to work things out since the last time they actually saw each other.) 

it had been a long while since i had written anything that was really just about ahsoka and obi-wan, but. i think everyone knows that i really love my grandpadawan and grandmaster duo? idk, this fic really made me feel things because i was thinking a lot about how obi-wan and ahsoka had left things. i wanted to make it pretty clear that they both clearly care about each other a lot, but like. also. there’s still some hurt there. i just had so much fun writing this, because obi-wan and ahsoka are such an underrated duo and i love them :’) 

loose stitches (The discovery and aftermath of Maul. Anakin and Ahsoka find themselves pacing in front of the Council chambers multiple times. They might have taken Obi-Wan to Dex’s. Something might have unraveled, only to be stitched back together.) 

kasey before you say anything pls know that i would talk about this fic until literally the day i die i am sorry if i am making you feel self-conscious--but anyways this was a collab with the ever-talented, ever-wonderful @kckenobi. so uh, quick story which mayhaps i might not have told anyone before, but whatever, i’m listening to evermore and therefore have no choice but to be emotional huh--this fic was like...one of the first collabs i’ve ever done? in general, collaborations were always something that made me nervous because it required lots of vulnerability and honesty, and there’s a side of me that’s very obsessed with having this image of Neat Writer Who Has Coherent Thoughts (which,,,doesn’t even exist so why was i obsessed? no idea). so that said, this collab was just. so wild + wonderful because it really was, first of all, such a cool, magical experience. there’s something so amazing and insane about passing words back and forth and like, even a screen apart, there’s something magical about like. sitting down at a laptop at the end of the day and feeling like you’re about to step into a portal where it’s just two people trying to spin a story. writing with kasey was just such a wonderful, absolutely magical experience, and i’m really glad that we got to write this story + the many more that we did. just. there’s something really personal and beautiful about writing until 1, 2, 3 am when the world’s asleep. anyways. magical. 

asdfsdfd i’m very sorry that this got so incredibly long, but!! that said, 2020 was a hard year for lots of different reasons both personally + because of *gestures at the world* but. like. i’m really, really glad that i got back to writing clone wars fic this year, because i’ve met so many wonderful, wonderful, wonderful people here, and. yeah. y’all are my serotonin suppliers, and i do refer to a lot of people here as ‘oh yeah, my friend and i were talking the other day about...’ and ‘why are you smiling?’ ‘oh, just something a friend said--’ and. yeah. i hope y’all have a wonderful, wonderful rest of the year + also a wonderful life because y’all are simply the best :’)) 

no-pressure tags: @lightasthesun @meandmyechoes @soplantyourownflowers @ilonga @sonderwalker @mytardisisparked @60sec400 and really, honestly, anyone else who wants to!!! <333 (like. i mean it. literally. just tag me and lemme scream encouragements at you.)

[womenstan]

Heaven In Hiding - Nooreva

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28058616

Two friends, a mind-blowing kiss and a misunderstanding.

red colored lips and narrow hips

angel dusted hair and skin so fair

take my hand and make me blush

seal my lips and let me touch

Parties were fun. Objectively, Eva knew that. There was booze, music and available mouths to latch onto. So, yes, usually parties were fun. Except this one wasn’t.

See, since Jonas, Eva had never been able to find a stable relationship. That was fine back in high school, when most parties consisted of random people hooking up in bathrooms and throwing up in bushes. But now, Eva was a little older and, most importantly, the only single one in her friend group. Isak had Even, Chris was inexplicably still with Kasper and Vilde… well Vilde was probably holed up in a corner of the living room meowing at Magnus. Sana and Yousef were the only ones who weren’t constantly busy eating each other’s faces and, thus, could have an actual conversation with Eva. However, they had decided to spend the winter break visiting Yousef’s family in Morocco, leaving Eva on her own in a sea of unbearable couples. Even fucking Jonas had managed to find a girlfriend to bring to the party (granted, at least those two weren’t all over each other yet , but it wasn’t like Eva could interpose herself between Jonas and his new conquest without things getting a little awkward).

So, while everyone was cheerfully decorating christmas ornaments, dancing on the make-shift dance floor or making out on Isak and Even’s worn-out couch, Eva was alone in the kitchen, gulfing down little pâtés and drinking her third… no fourth… glass of wine. To be fair, she didn’t even want to come in the first place! But Vilde had guilt-tripped her into coming by saying that Isak would be disappointed if she didn’t show - which, bullshit, as Isak seemed much more preoccupied with reaching the depths of his boyfriend’s throat than with Eva’s presence. It’s not like Eva wasn’t happy for all of them, of course she was, they were her friends! So, yes, she was glad that they were all getting some on the regular, but she did feel alone from time to time. Like tonight.

If only Noora was here…

No. Nope. Bad idea. Eva was not going to go down memory lane right now. There’s no way she was even gonna let her brain try to remember that kiss. Fuck. Here we go.

Truth was, Eva was never good at dealing with her problems and her emotions. Her motto was ‘ignore it and when you can’t anymore, drink it away’. Usually, that worked quite well, as her intoxicated brain tended to be more horny than anything else. But this one particular memory seemed to always find a way to sneak its way up to the front of her thoughts, especially on nights like this where she was feeling particularly lonely. The memory in and of itself wasn’t a bad one, god no. It was probably her fondest memory to date. No, the problem wasn’t the memory, it was what happened after the memory.

---------------

See, at the end of her first year at Nissen, Eva had gone to a party at William’s house with all of her friends. Eva didn’t like William very much, but if there was one quality that man possessed, it was knowing how to throw a good fucking party. The music was great, the view from his rooftop was incredible and, most importantly, the supply of alcohol was never-ending. So, of course, to honour the gods of wine, Eva decided to steal a bottle for herself. At first, she was planning to drink it slowly as the night went on and, thus, avoid having to go back to the table for refills. Brilliant, of course. What Eva had not planned for was to immediately spot Jonas making out with Sara in the middle of the rooftop, the sun shining directly on them, as if to taunt her. It wasn’t even necessarily that Eva wasn’t over Jonas : she still loved him dearly, but she had grieved their relationship by this point. No, it was more that Eva felt lonely and undesired. The one combo that always leads to her making mistakes. It took Eva a total of fifteen seconds for her brain to compute that this was, in fact, Jonas kissing down Sara’s throat and not an eerily similar (and equally eager) doppelgänger. Then, she was back inside in a matter of milliseconds.

She sat down in the relative darkness under the stairs that led to the rooftop, gulping down her bottle of wine faster than Dionysus ever could. She sighed, closing her eyes and letting her head fall backwards on the ramp. The position wasn’t exactly comfortable, but it was bearable, which Eva felt reflected well her internal feelings. So, she stayed seated there, drinking from her wine bottle, alone and lonely.

And that’s exactly how Noora found her some time later, her bottle now almost emptied, her eyelids heavy under the added weight of the alcohol circulating through her body. Noora, beautiful, kind, considerate, Noora, squatted down to Eva’s level slowly, a careful look on her face, as if she was approaching a wild animal. To be fair, that’s probably what Eva looked like right now, curled in on herself, holding the bottle of wine like a lifeline.

‘Er du ok?’ Noora asked, trying to meet Eva’s eyes with her own.

Slowly, Eva raised her head, looking at Noora for a grand total of one second before bursting into tears. Noora let out a soft sigh and crouched down next to Eva, bringing her arm up around her and squeezing Eva into her side thightly.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’, Noora whispered near Eva’s ear. Eva tried to answer and, instead, let out a pathetic whimper, which only made Noora bring up her other arm around Eva’s sobbing form. Their position was far from ideal, but Noora didn’t seem to mind as she held Eva through her crying fit and Eva certainly didn’t mind, burying her head in Noora’s neck and inhaling her soft lavender perfume. Eva’s sobs slowly turned into quiet tears, the only sound interrupting the silence hanging in the air being Eva’s slight sniffles as she tried to compose herself. Once she felt like she could actually utter a word without tears flowing down her cheeks, Eva began to reluctantly move out of Noora’s comforting embrace. Noora let her go slowly, kissing her head tenderly before wiping away the mascara that had run down Eva’s face with the pad of her thumbs. Eva was a bit embarrassed, but as she held Noora’s gaze, searching for a hint of annoyance, all she found was tenderness, love and maybe a little bit of worry.

Shakily, Eva let out a ‘Ja, I’m okay’, her voice barely a whisper, but Noora heard it anyway. The corners of her mouth pulled up into a soft smile and she nodded slowly, her eyes set on Eva’s.

‘I’m sorry for…’ Eva began, gesturing around, ‘this. I was just tired of being lonely and unworthy of love and I guess my feelings chose this moment to come out’.

Noora’s smile faltered a bit and Eva felt worry constrict her heart. Had she said too much? Maybe Noora had finally gotten tired of all of Eva’s whining and complaining? Eva lowered her head in shame, telling herself off mentally.

‘Eva. Eva, look at me,’ said Noora, lifting Eva’s chin softly with her index. Noora waited until Eva found the strength to look back into her eyes, before she went on, ‘You’re the best person I know. You’re a caring, smart, funny person who’s worthy of all the love there is in this world. If someone thinks otherwise, then they’re wrong, because I know anyone would be lucky to have the privilege to love you.’

By the end of Noora’s short speech, tears were back in Eva’s eyes. But those weren’t tears of sadness, even though Eva didn’t quite know what emotions she was feeling. Her heart was beating so fast that she thought it would fly out of her chest, her head was spinning slightly (although that could simply be the wine) and she felt hoards of butterflies spreading their wings in the pit of her stomach. Inadvertently, Eva’s gaze dropped to Noora’s perfectly reddened lips. Her lips that looked so soft, so inviting in this dim lighting. Her lips, whose mere view ignited a fire within Eva’s body and a true tornado inside her mind. When Eva raised her eyes back up to Noora’s, the intensity she could read in them led her to believe that Noora’s body might be sending her similar signals. For a moment, they just looked into each other’s eyes, but it wasn’t tender anymore. The tension between them was palpable and Eva felt her own head slowly gravitate towards Noora’s, as if an invisible string was bringing them together. Noora’s head seemed to follow the same path, as they both made their way towards each other, never breaking eye contact. Once their lips were mere millimeters away, Eva moved her head back slightly to be able to gaze into Noora’s eyes properly.

‘Anyone?’, she asked, her voice barely audible as every muscle in her body had seemingly turned to liquid in Noora’s proximity.

Noora’s eyes seemed to search for something in Eva’s own for a moment, but they found what they were looking for fast enough and Noora whispered back ‘Anyone’.

It was like that one word set something off in Eva’s brain, because next thing she knew, she was closing off the last bit of space between their lips.

Eva had been kissed before, enough that she actually considered herself experienced in the matter. Kissing was fun, very fun even, but it was nothing compared to what Eva was experiencing right now.

As soon as their lips collided, it felt like her brain imploded. Every bit of her body was on fire and the only thought going through her head was ‘More. More. More.’ What began as a chaste kiss quickly turned into more, both of them unable to satiate their own bodies. Noora raised her left hand, caressing Eva’s face as she licked into her mouth, deepening the kiss. Fireworks were going off behind Eva’s eyelids and it felt as if time had stopped. Eva twisted her hands in Noora’s hair, trying to get impossibly closer, melting into her arms. Noora followed suit, letting her right hand toy with the hair on Eva’s neck. At that sensation, Eva let out a whimper she was automatically ashamed of, but the shame rapidly turned into pride as she felt Noora smile slightly into her mouth. Eva let her hands wander down Noora’s body, before settling on her hip, just under her black blouse. Noora slowly started to lower herself down, bringing Eva along, when the door to the rooftop burst open. The two girls jumped apart, frightened. William and Chris stumbled down the stairs, teasing each other loudly, before coming to an abrupt halt once they noticed the two girls holed up under the stairs.

‘What are you girls doing down there?’ William asked, looking more confused than anything else.

Noora’s gaze was burning into the side of Eva’s head, but Eva refused to meet her eyes. She knew what was coming. Noora had let herself go for a minute, but she was probably already regretting it. Who would choose messy, unstable, untrustworthy Eva over perfect, steady, beloved William? Eva knew it, she even understood it, but she still had enough pride to try to avoid direct rejection at all cost.

‘Oh, girl problems, you know’ Eva tried to joke, letting out a small laugh that almost sounded like a sob. William and Chris exchanged a look, before seemingly deciding it wasn’t worth further questioning.

‘Ok… Well Noora, do you wanna come up?’, William asked, ‘I’ve got a slow dance lined up that has your name on it’, he added before winking.

Noora’s eyes still didn’t move from Eva as she said, hesitantly, ‘I’m not sure William… We were kind of in the middle of something…’ Fearing that Noora would want to talk about it , Eva quickly got up, dusting off her pants and quickly mumbling an excuse about her mother coming home unexpectedly before practically running out of the front door. The last thing she heard was a disbelieving laugh and a ‘What the hell?’ coming from Chris, but she was fast down the street before anyone could think of going after her, tears streaming down her face, her shattered heart left on William’s immaculate penthouse floor.

The couple next days were a blur of hangovers, tears and troubled dreams. A week later, Eva’s mom came home and she decided Eva had moped enough. She sat on her bed, sighing as she saw the continuous stream of tears that had established a permanent residence on Eva’s cheeks. She bent down slightly and caressed Eva’s hair tenderly, which only resulted in making her cry even more.

‘Love, what happened?’, her mother asked, her tone serious and worried.

Eva simply buried her face deeper into her pillow, shaking her head.

‘Whatever it is, Eva, hiding alone in your room won’t solve it’, her mom said.

Eva sighed and spoke into her pillow. ‘Well maybe I won’t solve it, but at least I can avoid it’.

Her mom’s caresses came to a halt and she hoisted Eva up into a sitting position, despite the girl’s protests. Once Eva was sitting up, crossed-legged, her mom brushed away the dirty strands of hair that were falling in her face and firmly gripped her face with both hands.

‘Eva, listen to me for once. Avoiding your problems is not a solution. Avoiding your problems only lets them grow and grow and grow, until you inevitably have to confront them. It’s better to face a small stone than to climb a mountain.’ Eva let out a small laugh at that metaphor, ‘Go face your pebble Eva, before its weight becomes too much for you to bear.’ Eva’s mom smiles at her softly and Eva can’t help herself but smile back.

‘You know mom, sometimes, you actually have good advice,’ Eva teased her mom, now fully grinning.

Her mom raised her hand to her chest in faux offense shouting ‘How DARE you insult your mother like that, huh? How dare you?’, before starting to tickle Eva, sending the both of them into a fit of laughter.

Maybe her mom was right, maybe if Eva faced Noora right now, things could still be fixed between them.

The next day, Eva showed up to the Kollektivet with a bag full of their favourite snacks and a new hope blossoming in her chest. She knocked on the door and wasn’t at all surprised when an overjoyed Eskild opened the door for her.

‘Hi! Hi! Come in, come in! To what do I owe this pleasure?’ Eskild inquired, a bright grin on his face.

Eva’s grin was probably just as big as she answered, ‘Oh, I’m coming to see Noora!’

However, her grin fell rapidly once she saw Eskild’s expression turn into one of slight discomfort.

‘Ehrm… How do I say this… I really thought she would have told you… Especially you…’ Eskild went on as he started to nervously move around the kitchen.

Eva felt panic rise in her chest as she imagined the worst scenarios. ‘Eskild! ESKILD!’, Eva shouted, finally getting Eskild to stop pacing around anxiously, ‘Just tell me.’

Eskild schooled his face and put a comforting hand on Eva’s shoulder. In his eyes, all Eva could see was pity. ‘She… ehrm… Noora left for London last night, Eva’

Eva felt as if her brain had short-circuited. Maybe she had misheard? What on Earth would Noora be doing in London anyway? ‘In London? Why would she go to London? Are you sure?’, Eva asked, her voice betraying her growing worry.

Eskild just looked at her for a moment and it clicked in Eva’s mind. ‘William’, she said. It wasn’t a question, but Eskild still had the decency to nod.

‘Do you…’, Eskild started, ‘Do you want some tea? Biscuits?’, he rummaged around in the cupboards before turning back around and adding, ‘We don’t actually have biscuits. Or tea. I can get you water?’

Eva quickly declined and made her exit. As she walked to the bus stop, she was expecting more tears. She was expecting to feel betrayed, sad, angered even. But she just felt empty, numb, lonely. Just so fucking lonely.

-------------

Now, here she was, over two years later and absolutely no sign of life from Noora. Eva had tried to feel bitter at her, to hate her, but she never could. Whatever she had felt in the seconds they had kissed had forever sealed Noora into her heart. Now, every other hookup felt too boring, too unappealing. Hence why she was here, at this party, alone. It didn’t even matter that she didn’t have a guy to fool around with, because no matter if she was truly alone or not, Eva constantly felt lonely. A loneliness that had set camp in the Noora shaped hole in her chest.

Noora’s sudden disappearance from Eva’s life had made such an impact that, sometimes, Eva would find herself hearing her voice as clear as day, then turning around with excitement only to realize she had been mistaken.

Like right now, for example, as Eva could swear she clearly hears Noora’s voice coming from the living room. Except Noora is in London with her boyfriend and definitely not at this christmas party.

‘Hi! Or should I say… H?’ a sudden voice speaks from behind Eva.

Eva is so startled that, as she turns around, she lets her wine cup slip out of her hand and onto the floor (good thing Isak and Even’s cups are all made of plastic, huh), spilling red coloured liquid all over the floor. Eva’s dress and her shoes get stained, but Eva couldn’t care less.

She couldn’t care less, because standing in front of her, in the flesh, is none other than Noora. Noora and her eternal bright red lipstick, smiling shyly at her. Eva is so stunned that she simply freezes and stares at Noora, her mouth slightly agape and her brain working overtime to try and compute the situation.

Noora doesn’t push, simply staring at Eva and fiddling anxiously with strands of her hair.

When, finally, Eva realizes that Noora is really standing in front of her and that this isn’t another one of those pesky dreams, she feels all of the emotions she had suppressed for the past two years flood back to the surface. She lets out a watery ‘Noora?’ as tears pile up in her eyes. Noora’s smile drops slightly as her eyes, still so kind and so affectionate, take in Eva’s state.

‘Can we talk? Privately?’ Noora asks carefully, testing the waters.

Eva doesn’t even have time to mull over the question before her mouth lets out a ‘Of course’ and before she knows it, she’s leading Noora down the hallway and into the bedroom. Once they’re both in, Eva closes the door behind them and slowly turns to face Noora.

She’s sitting on the bed, her legs crossed, looking down at her hands laying in her lap. Eva is simply standing by the door, entirely unsure of what to do in this situation. The longer she just stands there, the more the awkwardness between them grows and at one point, Eva can’t take it. She marches rapidly to the bed and sits down unceremoniously. There’s another long moment of silence between them, as neither seems to know where to go from there. Eva sighs loudly and starts ‘Look, I don’t know why you think you can just disappear for two fucking years without giving me news and then come back as if-’

Her speech is interrupted by Noora’s lips crashing into hers with full force, which does hurt a little bit, but the pain is rapidly overcome by pleasure. This time, it’s anything but slow and soft. Two years of pent up feelings from both sides are released into one moment, leading the kiss to rapidly turn passionate. Noora doesn’t waste any time before slipping her tongue in Eva’s mouth, guiding her to lay down on the bed at the same time. Eva’s hands are roaming Noora’s body under her shirt as she obeys Noora’s silent command and lays back. Eva brings her hands to the front and tries to unbutton Noora’s blouse, unsuccessfully, instead ending up getting stuck in Noora’s hair. Noora yelps slightly from the pain and they break apart for a moment, giggling.

Noora stops her movement on top of Eva and softly caresses her cheek, gazing into her eyes. There, Eva can see nothing has changed from the last time they saw each other. Noora’s eyes are filled with love, tenderness and care. Eva is pretty sure her own eyes reflect the exact same emotions. But in hers, there’s also worry, and she can’t restrain herself from asking the question that’s been swirling around in her brain since she saw Noora again.

‘What about William?’ Eva whispers. Noora looks lovingly into her eyes and slowly traces the outline of her face, down to her jaw. She bends down slightly and brushes her nose with Eva’s fondly. Eva can feel her eyelids drooping just from those little attentions.

‘Fuck William. We’re over.’ Noora answers back in the same hushed voice.

‘Over, over?’ Eva questions back, her tone growing hopeful.

Noora kisses Eva chastely, barely brushing their lips together.

‘Over, over. When I was in London, I felt like a piece of me was missing. I kept trying to fill it with material, friends or even time with William, but nothing worked. I just felt empty,’ Noora begins.

Eva nods along, ‘Yeah, me too. Just hollow.’

Noora smiles sadly, ‘Yeah. About a year in, William and I broke up because I learned that he cheated on me.’ At that, Eva perks up, getting ready to insult him, but Noora puts her index on her lips and brings her back down, effectively shushing her. ‘It’s okay. He’s in the past. But after that, I went to see a therapist to try and figure out why I was feeling this way. To try and be happy again’. As Noora continues to speak, Eva strokes her hair in encouragement. ‘And I slowly came to the realization that… I was in love with you. I am in love with you. And that nothing and no one could fill that emptiness, except you. If you still want me.’ By the end of her sentence, both girls had tears streaming down their faces.

‘Of course I still want you’, Eva assured her. ‘You’re it for me too, you know?’

For a moment, they just stared at each other, smiling goofily. Then, slowly, Noora closed off the distance between their bodies, and their lips. This time, it was much softer. Eva could taste strawberry lipstick and a bit of salty tears on Noora’s lips as they kissed lazily on the bed. They kept kissing as they undressed each other, stubbornly refusing to separate their lips even for one second, despite the added challenge. Eva removed Noora’s bra delicately and as she raised her hand towards her body, the door opened and a shout came from its direction, halting their movements.

‘Oh God No! My eyes!’ Isak screamed, turning around faster than humanly possible. ‘Please tell me you’re not fucking in my bed’ he added, pleadingly. From further down the apartment, a ‘OUR BED!’ came, to which Isak only groaned.

The girls bursted into laughter, Noora falling completely over Eva, incapable of supporting her body through their fit. ‘Oops?’ Eva said coyly, before laughing again. Isak muttered a ‘whatever’ before getting out and closing the door behind him.

Once they were finally able to calm down, the girls decided it might be best for everyone if they continued this Christmas celebration at Eva’s place. They quickly gathered their clothes and left the apartment under cheers from their friends who seemed to find a lot of enjoyment in the girls’ reunion.

That night, Eva and Noora, like young teenagers, fooled around, talked until the early morning hours and fell asleep in each other’s arms. The next morning (and every morning since) they woke up still embracing each other, content, full and, especially, no longer lonely .Two friends, a mind-blowing kiss and a misunderstanding.

[wexhappyxfew]

SHANNON!! HELLO MY FRIEND ☺️☺️ hope you're having a lovely day!! Okay you know I absolutely your character Death, so whatever you want to talk about with him :)

KRYSTAAAA hello my friend! I hope you are having a great day yourself! You sent this yesterday but I wanted to take my time with this as discuss one of my *FAVORITE* things about Death in this post - appearance and reasons WHY he appears this way. I know we don’t see actual images, but I try to work with the description in Landslide to give Death, in my personified way, an appearance - because in my mind he has an appearance, quite similarly to a man - LET ME STOP MYSELF WE’LL GET INTO IT BELOW HAHA!!! AW THANKS!! :,) I’m so glad you enjoy it truly, that means so much and I’ve worked to really develop Him and His character all together along with His role with Natia because it is one of the most important connections Natia holds with someone in Landslide - even though they can’t ever speak - AGH I LOVE IT!! Let’s get into it!

SO -- we are going to work with 4 general images that I’ve always envisioned Death as and I’ll really talk about WHY I have Him as such because there are reasons why these pictures are the way they are and why I decided on these pictures for Him!

Let’s solidify two things first!

(1) When I created Death in general, I wanted to make Him a male, just because I saw Death as male in my mind and for the dynamic of the story it would work best. But for a spin-off from Landslide (there may be a few!) I’ve thought about digging into another aspect which is - in this sort of fic, Death is seen in the way the seer wishes to see Death, which I think is pretty cool! There’s a reason though Natia sees Death as male....ahem...Agent Mortem I’m looking at you.

(2) The two important things to touch on with the Death I’ve created - cloaks and wings - cloaks (+hood) have been broguht up a various amount of times already for Death n the 26 chapters of posted Landslide chapters and content BUT we have yet to discuss wings. I can’t jump TOO into that yet exactly, but that is the second most important aspect of Death I’ve crafted together! Keep that in mind!

OKAY...now that we have all of that put together, let’s jump into it - 4 pictures, 4 ideas - WE LOVE TO SEE IT!! There may also be a cut somewhere below - idk where, but it’ll be there! Enjoy! 

AND AS A SIDE NOTE - THESE IMAGES ARE FROM PINTEREST SO NONE OF THESE IMAGES ARE ACTUALLY MINE OR CREATED BY ME!!! 

FIRST IMAGE: This is probably the best, accurate description and image of Death in my eyes at least - I’m sure the readers have envisioned Him differently (just imagine He has a cloak on and it’s covering His head LOL!) - but in many ways this is my portrayal of how I envision Death. Almost looking as if he is a regular man - dark tousled hair, a grey coat, dark boots - the works! But he’s quite sad, this wandering person, aimlessly moving about and he’s quite grief-filled. And so, that’s a reason I particularly love this photo because we get the head focused downward to convey this portrayal of grief and how consuming it is. I really wasn’t out to make Death this emotionless person who just takes and takes - I wanted in my portrayal to show how much pain he holds - and how he is protecting Natia with all His might from someone like Himself because He can’t bare to do His duty that He has for eternity on Natia. 

AND THE WINGS!! Okay, wings - we get more into the wings at the end of part 3 and extremely expanded in part 4 - but wings are extremely important. They are in fact black and feathered - I begin to reference him at the end of Part 3 as if he were a ‘Father of Ravens’ in a sense because of what a raven represents and for Death’s character I feel that is very true to his character specifically His role He takes in with Natia. You might even see him int he form of ravens as we come particularly out of Bastogne and the weather gets warmer - it will be very prominent. 

I would say this is my absolute favorite - if you ever need a reference - this is image is 100% what I would have crafted for Death if he were portrayed in a picture! 

SECOND IMAGE: Here is an absolute FAVORITE!!! (1) We know Natia sees Death essentially as male (for various reasons regarding Agent Mortem who literally is Agent Death or Agent of Death if we want - but that’s for another ask!) and so this I would say is a very good representation of the wings + ravens + eyes + profile of Death. The narrow-eye expression of his facial features if very prominent - Natia does much of the same - and let’s just say Death has picked that up as well. He sees the world really in blacks, whites and greys - similar to how Natia views the world because of Agent Mortem ( a morally grey character) and so I really took all of that and worked with it in this way! Natia, Death and Mortem are the mains in my mind and so they all see the world in grey - but who will break from that? They’re all connected with one another in many ways - who will break that?

But yes, in this picture, I go off the fact that in Landslide, Death will take the form of a raven as his best chance to get closer to Natia, to even try and interact with her and that is very prominent at the end of Part 3 and all of Part 4 and even some postwar! 

THIRD IMAGE: OKAY - so here is where we get into more of the ‘cloaked figure’ that encompasses Death and this image of his cloaked figure. The cloak hides quite a lot of things and one of those things are his wings - which don’t really make an appearance until the end of Part 3 for various reasons! Which I can’t say just yet :) But it also hides his face - his expressions - why might you ask does he want to particularly hide that? 

Let’s reference the most recent chapter update - Chapter 26, entitled Weapons Don’t Weep. (1) Natia is in fact a weapon, not only crafted by War, who makes his somewhat annual appearance, but also my Agent Mortem - who’s to say Death might’ve also crafted her? (2) Death and Natia have a unique connection - they can’t communicate through words, they can’t really communicate through much if you think about it - just feelings, emotions, thoughts. SO - this just adds onto evidence of how Death actually can control her a bit. The chaos that ensued at the end of Chapter 26 was a precursor to that - he can control her chaos, she can’t control his. The closing of his eyes - he uses a cloak to hide that he is abusing his power of control on her - and letting chaos warp her. NOW THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING - A MERE PRECURSOR AS STATED. We’ll get into it much later on and why, but the cloak covers wings + facial expressions for good reasoning.

AND THE HORSE YOU MAY ASK? Well...I did call Natia a dark horse right? The definition of a dark horse is “a candidate or competitor about whom little is known but who unexpectedly wins or succeeds.” Not only is Natia a lone wolf BUT she is very much a dark horse - you don’t know much but she manages to win her battles - she may not win the war, but she will wage a battle and win what she must to survive, that’s the name of the game currently. Plenty of times in discussion - it’s like Death and Natia at a game of poker, in a black room (as described by a friend!!) and that’s very real almost every chapter that is written and published - a tension continually building, awaiting to see what will happen next, and just a constant build off of that over and over again. She takes on the persona of a dark horse more often than not - she’s underestimated, never entirely trusted, yet she survives?! People start to take that into consideration, especially in Bastogne - BUT THAT IS FOR ANOTHER TIME!!!! :D

FOURTH IMAGE: OKAY NOW -- this is sort of the expected image - Death with his cloak, a cane, dark gloves, shadowed face that you can’t see. This is the image I imagine when I am writing and Death is sort of watching Natia from afar - purposely I place him in those scenarios for various reasons depending on what is happening in that time during the story. And this is the image he sort of takes on. I don’t have many notes particularly for this image, only simply the fact that this is what masks what is portrayed in the first image - it covers the wings, the facial expressions, the man that is evidently underneath and simply that a man - yet a being forever wandering aimlessly, doing his duty given for all of eternity. But I really think this is what most will remember the Death I chose to personify him by! :D

OKAY SO THIS WAS SERIOUSLY JUST SO FUN OMG!!! This is the first time I’ve used pictures to really dig into what I’m getting at with characters - especially handling a character to the capacity in which Death withholds - there’s a lot to unpack with Him! But I truly hope you enjoyed this - I’m always happy to do more of these for any of my characters - especially even War, or Natia, or Agent Mortem - I might even just do it for fun who knows - OF COURSE WHEN I HAVE TIME HAHA!!! But I really enjoyed this so thank you for indulging and enabling Krysta!!! This was super fun to give my in-depth take on someone like Death and how I decided to craft and personify him! 

[fmdtaeyongarchive]

— after meeting you.

date: 2011-2021.

word count: 1,886 words, excluding lyrics.

summary: ash makes a song over the course of ten years.

triggers: n/a.

notes: creative claims verification. 

it’s a song a decade in the making. over the course of ten years, he comes back to it over and over as a diary of his idea of the perfect love.

2011

he begins it on the doorstep of the first time he’ll ever fall in love. he’s a trainee and his days are filled with nonstop practice. when he comes home late at night or in the early hours of the morning, he barely has the time to pull out his homework to complete enough to keep passing classes and avoid a scolding from the company, but he still finds time to try to put into words what he’s feeling.

love is everything he’d heard about and more. he’s had the butterflies, the moments of awe, but he’s also found himself confused at times by how much he has to learn about being someone’s boyfriend. hand holding on the playground in third grade and shy kisses during spin the bottle in middle school hadn’t prepared him for actually falling in love.

he’s young, only fifteen when he writes down the first words of what he has no idea will one day be one song of many he stands on stage and sings by himself. he has no idea about the heartbreak he’ll endure in the next decade, that the one he thinks will be his first and last will be far behind him by the time the world gets to hear the words.

we understand each other i was surprised how we got used to each other

he’s never felt this way with anyone. the quiet understanding, the spark he feels at every touch and every glance they share between ash leaving class and heading into practice or on the late nights of the weekend when he can slip in time to see them. if this is the love everyone’s always talked about, that everyone’s written countless songs about and based movies and art on, he can understand why.

in the bright morning i open my eyes while thinking of you

he’s young and it feels like no one takes his love as seriously as it feels to him. it’s all-consuming and he just knows they’re the two that got lucky to find their soulmates and life partners so young. the idea of fate battles with his desire for free will, but he doesn’t care which is real when his arms are around them.

it’s only a few lines, tucked away on a sticky note stuck to the margins of a school notebook, but they show a boy who believes in every word he writes, words he’ll reshape and flesh out when he’s older and his korean has refined itself into something more sophisticated than he can offer at fifteen, but one phrase he writes doesn’t change at all:

i love you

january 2016

more pieces of what will eventually become the song stick themselves together over the years, through relationships and flings, but it’s not until years later that he sits in a vocal practice room at bc entertainment alone, old notebook in front of him and his fingers on the keyboard.

the notes of the melody he writes link to years into the past and stay with him for years into the future.

solo music is still a pipe dream for him, but something he’s afraid to put a name to has sparked again in his heart. it’s not the only time since the first time he’d fallen, but it’s the most confusing for him.

see, they’re not dating. they’re friends who have fallen into the trap of letting skin on skin bleed into their hearts to mean more than it does.

for ash, at least. he doesn’t know if his touch has bled into her bone marrow the same way hers has into his, and so he doesn’t say anything. not to her. instead, he lets his fingers idle on a piano, recalling the moment he’d first looked over at her and realized he was in trouble.

for as complicated and messy as his situation is, the melody line he crafts doesn’t soar too high or too low, it doesn’t tumble over itself in rapid notes or odd time signatures, though he still simplifies it down some more a few years later when he comes back to it. it sits in 4/4 time signature, the most basic, for love sits inside such a simplistic framework, bent out of shape by the imperfect humans who inhabit it and, as ash has now come to learn, sometimes break the frame in half. 

the piano piece is therapy in keys, the only therapy he knows at the time, not for lack of needing it, but because of lack of time and motivation to take care of himself in the way he should.

the impending spiral downward in the next few months he can’t foresee yet will be the breaking point, but he’ll never stop coming back to the keys when he feels emotions he can’t share with anyone else.

late 2016-2017

more lyrics and music slot into place over the rapidfire falling he does over a few months. there’s the model trainee he thinks he could love that shatters his heart in the aftermath of a heartfelt confession. there’s the ill-fated relationship that starts hopeful, but dissolves into fighting before he can even write much embodying that hope. then, there comes her and then him, the ones that leave him looking back on his record of love put into song and makes him want to spill tears to drown every instrument and wet every notebook so he can never write something so hopeful again.

there are times he writes words about them, but, often, he’s at a loss for words, and the song becomes more instrumental than voice, silence on his part.

silence is what damns him in the end.

2017-2019

in kijung, ash is sure he’s found the true muse to the song he’s been writing for years.

just like now when it’s peaceful i want to be with you forever i thought that as i was looking at you i was so happy after meeting you i was able to love you so much because you embraced and understood my young and immature mind warmly

he almost plays the song for him one night, almost decides he wants to rewrite it to be solely about kijung so he can sing it for him and only him, but fear makes him back out.

months later, fear makes him back out of the relationship altogether and the song remains a patchwork quilt of lovers past.

mid-2020

when she’s back in his life, the tone changes.

when we hurt each other with nonchalant tones i can’t bear our distant relationship so i’m sorry even now when i’m anxious i want to be with you forever i thought that as i was looking at you

he knows now that love can hurt just as badly when one’s in it as it can once it’s ended.

are you happy after meeting me, too? i’m sorry that i have more that i couldn’t give you i’m selfish and unstable but i wanted to treat you well

he breaks her heart and his own at the same time and comes to realize he’s no longer a man built to be deserving of the love he’s prayed at the altar of his whole life.

late 2020

there’s a piece of writing advice ash has heard over and over again for as long as he can remember: write what you know.

but when he pieces together the last lyrics of the song, they’re to everyone he’s known and someone he’s never known at once. they’re to someone he’s accepted he’ll never meet, or to someone he let slip away. he can’t tell which one, but he knows it’s more fantasy than reality.

he bleeds out every ounce of hope he has left inside of him and leaves it printed in ink and bared in song. ten years of hope etched into one song, meeting a man who now stands empty of it. he’s faced with a mirror image of someone brighter and bolder, touched with love, but left shielded from the inevitable heartbreak attached to it.

in the end, they sit over an instrumental that’s been recrafted so that something sad hits under the hope, harmonizing the truth with the dream he’s packed away and abandoned.

i think i found a perfect love that i’ve waited for for a long time because you held me and gave me energy because you hugged me by being considerate lovingly after i met you

2021

he sends in the demo to the company right before the release of his fourth solo album as closure, but he doesn’t expect to hear back that they’re interested in having him release it. it’s so different from the sound that most of lovesick had been drenched in. it fits better the music he’d been known for releasing three or four years ago when he’d been first starting out as a soloist. it makes sense that it does, considering much of the song had been created before then, but management seems more excited for it than he’d expected.

he doesn’t realize right away why, but once he gets the brief for some, he realizes that maybe they’ve decided he’s been too mopey as of late to be marketable.

despite his best efforts not to let his hesitancy about some infect his work on this song, some resentment builds inside as he spends time in the studio on it. the more he listens back to different takes of his own voice singing back the polished lyrics over the finalized melody, the more he feels like he’s mocking himself. it sounds out of place in his voice.

he’d give up if he didn’t know that letting bc know he was throwing in the towel would only mean they’d put someone else on the job to get the final product completed, and as sour as he is, the song still has strings that attach to the inside of his chest that he’s not ready to cut to hand the song over to someone else.

erin is the one who points out what’s wrong to him one night when she comes to visit him in his studio.

“you sound really young here.” she’s silent for a moment, and then she corrects herself. “you sound like you’re trying to sound young.”

she’s right.

he’s trying to sound like the fifteen year old ash who had been the root of all of this. for a man who’s been so insistent he’s not good at playing a character when he’s writing, he’s taken on the persona of someone who can skate along the surface level of the song for the sake of marketability — a man the words can’t hurt.

the song isn’t about first love just because those were what the first words had been written about.

so, he re-records it, singing it like the man who’s experienced everything he’s been through. he switches out the arrangement from coffee house acoustic to transition the instrumental from a simple piano and strings arrangement o a full-out orchestral arrangement toward the end.

when he’d felt the first rays of love, he may have thought that it was as easy as two complementary instruments, but in the decade since, he’s learned all of the moving pieces that have to come together.

by most accounts, its arrangement lends itself to a run of the mill emotional ballad, and bc will either love or hate that, but some of the pieces that had been failing to line up slot in to place.

listening back, the song still makes him sadder than he can imagine a younger ash would be proud of.

the night he finishes, he sits in his studio with the lights low and loops the track, searching through every line for a flaw he needs to fix. it comes without thought, looking for what he’s done wrong.

as he sits there, he hears his own voice repeat over and over again thoughts from years past, singing about once-perfect loves that had only been perfect for flashes of time in a broad expanse of history, and he stops the track. for once, he’s done searching for his own faults.

[hamliet]

Hello! Have you seen TROS yet? [Spoiler alert] I was really devastated by the ending - coming out the theater feeling upset and disappointed. Do you have any thoughts on it? Or maybe any plan to write fix-it fic? Thank you!

I am seeing it tomorrow. That said, I’ve read the plot summary, and no good execution can save that. So I was planning on posting this after I watched it with amendments made as I hope to enjoy it, but I’ll just post it now and amend this as necessary based on the film as I see it. (I still believe I will enjoy the film, even if I don’t think it’s a good film. I do think that. I really do... I hope.)

BASED ON THE PLOT SUMMARIES ALONE (grains of salt everywhere!): 

I think it’s technically… messy writing at best and downright bad writing in other parts.* 10/10 it’s a blockuster-y, JJ Abrams-esque, (hopefully) fun, messy narrative movie that will be forgotten in 0.3 seconds.

Disclaimer before everyone comes after me: if you like it, AWESOME. If you think it’s good writing, great! Good writing and bad writing are inherently subjective; that said, there are general consensuses among literary studies about what constitutes bad and good writing. Hence, I’m relying on those consensuses when I call it messily written.

Before we get into specifics, I’ll compare it to two other major pop culture endings: Game of Thrones and Avengers: Endgame.

TROS is similar to the GoT final season in that it attempts to incorporate every aspect of fan speculation ever. However, it’s more like Endgame in that it is still somewhat true to the themes and characters—but unfortunately also like Endgame, it is not transformative or particularly interesting as a story on its own. In fact, it’s rather boring and honestly… bad storytelling. It tries to rehash Return of the Jedi but it doesn’t succeed in any way because the world and the overall story has grown since the early 1980s, and so the same story doesn’t work anymore.

Showing a cyclical story remaining cyclical with no sign of that breaking–instead, the cycles are even reinforced–does not give optimism nor does it give hope.

Redemption=death needs to die already. If we really want to reach people and tell them that the message is that you can always make a better choice (as Daisy Ridley and JJ Abrams have said about Kylo’s arc), maybe don’t send the message in each and every story that you have to die to redeem yourself. Look outside of cultural secular Calvinism, for the love of God and the betterment of the world and stories as a whole.

Now let’s talk Rey’s parentage.

We know Rey Palpatine wasn’t planned from the beginning (Trevorrow, the original write/director of IX, who was thankfully fired, said that he never planned for Palpatine to return), which means Rey’s parentage was most likely retconned from TLJ and there was no real plan for the sequel trilogy’s overall character arcs (save for Kylo’s, according to the actors and writers).

Listen to me. You don’t have to have everything planned when you start a three-film saga, but you gotta know the major beats.

This is like a sad game of movie telephone. 

Yes, I know the OT Star Wars didn’t have a plan either and it’s like one of the only examples I can think of where no plan worked out–albeit not without hiccups (Leia kissing Luke, anyone?) If you expect lightning to strike twice in the same place, I’m sorry, but you are hopelessly naive.

Having Rey decide she wants to carry on the name Skywalker at the end is lame as shit. It’s a way to appease fans while being like nah she still isn’t related. Trying to please every fan is a sure way to guarantee that you will please no one. It might make for a perfectly pleasant film experience (I really hope it does), but not good, lasting storytelling (though not like, horrific either). It’s meh. It’s like… giving someone who is starving oatmeal. It will get the job done but will it satisfy and enthrall people? Not quite.

And let’s switch gears for a minute to Finn and Rose, my first and third favorite characters in this trilogy (Kylo is second, Rey is fourth). The sidelining of Rose is nothing short of a terrible attempt to please the white-supremacist-aligned Fandom Menace. Let’s not pretend it’s anything else. JJ’s lipservice about how wonderful it was that Kelly was cast at SW Celebration is, in hindsight, absolutely nauseating.

Shame on JJ. Shame on Disney.

But the main problem I have with this film is this:

Why did it need to exist?

The answer is money. Obviously. I know, I know stories exist to make money. That doesn’t mean I can’t criticize the fact that the story was sacrificed on the unholy altar of capitalism and Disney’s desire to own our souls. (Disney–the reason I like your movies is that a lot of them are good stories. I’m not interested in pandering soooooo.)

The Rise of Skywalker does not enhance the Star Wars narrative. Nothing about this film satisfies the Skywalker Saga nor the sequel trilogy, and it kind of all comes down to Kylo Ren’s death being the nail that sunk the entire world of Star Wars.

Keep in mind Kylo is not my favorite character when I’m saying this. Finn is. But I never spoke about Finn as much because the story didn’t utilize him properly. I never had concerns about Finn getting a happy ending while I was worried for Rey and Kylo’s arcs. (Finn’s arc, however, did have a ton more potential than was capitalized on; in particular, he would have been better if he was more conflicted over say, shooting other stormtroopers. His whole character humanized the usual red shirts, which when paired with Rose’s everywoman character, had so much potential I could shriek about it all day. That he didn’t lead other brainwashed stormtroopers into rebellion and freedom saddens me. Also, his ending again seems to bring about a good victim/bad victim dichotomy when it is compared with Kylo’s. The reason these two are my faves is that they were brainwashed as kids which, well, I can kinda sorta heavily relate to.)

Kylo Ren and Rey’s relationship doesn’t really get much better than it did in The Last Jedi. It actually rehashes that arc significantly. We already knew Kylo would fight for Rey and the galaxy, so… how was this different? Now, if he had lived, it would have been different, because it was the after the fight that proved that Kylo wasn’t ready to redeem himself in The Last Jedi. It was Kylo’s choice to stay at the expense of Rey and the Resistance that was literally the set up for conflict in the next film. This… turned it into nothing? Their conflict is rehashed and then whoo-hoo! Easy way out! Kill him so that they don’t have to deal with the “after” this time! They never have to deal with the conflict literally set up in The Last Jedi.

That’s bad writing, fam.

Life is infinitely more interesting. Leaving the story open with a living Skywalker instead of killing literally everyone involved with the Skywalkers except Rey who now adopts that name is… so unsatisfying I can’t even. Even if later material shows him showing up as a Force Ghost, like: cool saw that with Vader so this… adds nothing to the existing films. It doesn’t really reconcile anything.

It also… does not help the Rey=Mary Sue argument. She is NOT a Mary Sue, and that is a sexist term itself, but in no way is it a satisfying ending to her arc, because it isn’t a well-written ending which means it isn’t a well-written arc. The problem with Rey’s ending is a mirror of my problem with Kylo’s ending: it’s the very much a combination of her ending in The Last Jedi and her life before The Force Awakens.

She and Kylo are now separated (permanently this time).

She’s has her Resistance friends.

She’s alone on a desert planet.

But wait! Now she’s now happy!

Uh, why? The only reason I can think of is that the narrative demands it. Because honestly, what changes? The family she chose–the Skywalkers–are just as dead as her Palpatine birth family, soooooo. I suppose she reconciled with her heritage and come to peace with it and so that’s why she’s happy now, but… I can’t lie. It’s not hopeful. It’s not optimistic. It’s not Star Wars and it isn’t consistent for the message (especially if this is supposed to be the ending to the saga!) to be both:

life sucks for the Skywalkers and then they die–seriously, look at Shmi, Anakin, Padmé, Leia, Luke, Han, Kylo–it is LITERALLY ALL OF THEM; and

deciding to be a Skywalker means you’re at peace.

I can only assume Rey’s life will suck and then she’ll die, tbh, unless of course she is better off because of her blood… which negates the point of her being a Skywalker and is a really gross idea.

YOU CAN’T HAVE BOTH IN YOUR ENDING. PICK ONE.

Rejecting the Skywalkers would be anti-Star Wars, for sure, but marrying into them as a way of bridging the unfinished pain between Anakin and Padmé and Leia and her father? Much better. Or just leave it open. Honestly, leave it open for Kylo and Rey to both be alive and see each other again.

But you’re just upset your ship didn’t get a happy ending!

No, I’m upset about the storytelling, of which shipping is a part. A canonical part just as much as the lightsaber fights are. Anakin and Padmé. Leia and Han. Finn and Rose. Poe and Zorii. Rey and Ben.

The Force created Anakin, remember? All films–even the spin-offs–encourage our heroes to trust the force. “May the force be with us.” But the Force created an ENTIRE FAMILY THAT LIVED LIVES THAT SUCKED AND MADE LIFE SUCK FOR EVERYONE AROUND THEM AND THEN THEY DIED.

May the Force stay far the f*ck away from me, amen.

But seriously I can’t trust the world of a galaxy far far away or its narrative anymore. It’s a contradiction that causes all nine films to unravel. Why?

Again, let’s return to my earlier GoT comparison, because there is one thing TROS does that is more similar to GoT than to Endgame: Endgame drew together a bunch of unique distinctly separate stories into a crossover. TROS, just like GoT, relied on cliffhanger, incomplete endings to its films and therefore the ending matters a hell of a lot more than a stand-alone story.

I’m not dying to rewatch it like I am with stories where I realize I might learn more the second time. And by “rewatch it” I mean the entire nine-film saga. Knowing that canonically Leia, Luke, Han–they all die and their last descendent dies, the last descendent of Padmé and Anakin–for me, it’s personally gonna be hard to watch again. It’s gonna be hard to watch TROS going into it the first time.

And so the saga of bad endings continues.

Game of Thrones remains the worst at a -100 out of 10. It’s followed by Tokyo Ghoul:re which is still 2/10, and Star Wars is, on paper (meaning after I see it I am hoping it rises a few notches) now… 4/10. Endgame is a solid 6.5/10.

Banana Fish, sweetie, I’m sorry you were ranked down there. Your ending is a 7/10 but the rest of your story is like, 10/10 so you are sprung from this list.

Help me, Shingeki no Kyojin. You’re my only hope.