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dilf-docs · 4 months ago

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So Is it Your Place Or Mine?

bfd!joel miller x younger!reader

summary: summer is over, but your affair with joel isn't (or, you grind on joel's belt buckle while sarah is at soccer practice)

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap, smut, p. in v., exhibition kink (sarah is again a victim of this), brat taming (this two are soo into it), degradation kink, praise kink, lwk breeding kink, daddy kink (wow! it's a whole library of alexandria of kinks in here), fingering, dad bod!joel (best joel you mean), angst (oh guys look oh no it's alr starting), dirty talk!!!!! (they're so dirty ew i want it too wait who said that)

word count: 3,701 words

side note: and it became officially a series. hope u all are into this as much as i am because it's my first series ever !!!!! ALSO angst finally makes it way in this mess LET'S GO (i'mcrying i really looked up big texas belt to come up with a mental image in the middle of class, i'm so sorry to whoever sat behind me but idc abt me writing smut while at uni; we die like real men)

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"What do you mean you're not coming?"

It's been an unspoken rule that, even if you hate sports and the ball stays ten meters away from you, you always come to Sarah's soccer practice, cheering for her from your usual spot at the benches.

Except today, you aren't there. And now Sarah is calling you when she shouldn't, but that she doesn't know.

"I can't. I have stuff to work on stuff"

Bullshit.

Your laptop and the half-written essay sit untouched at the coffee table. The thing being touched in question, is something entirely different.

"Need help?"

His hands grip any free spot of your glistening skin, sucking on the rosy pink until it turns maroon red.

"I'm at my dorm, sorry"

Double bullshit.

Sarah doesn't even know your car is parked next to her dad's truck. She has about four hours to find out.

"I can drop by later then" she suggests.

His hot breath tingles against your neck as his nose caresses the spot. Bad girl, he mouths, like he wasn't the one who told you to pick up, despite his daughter's name on the caller's ID. You try to reach for a kiss, but his digits press on your hair, pulling you back with violence to forbid your lips from touching his. Bad girl, and your arousal drips with more intensity at the remark. Bad girl.

"No!" the answer comes quick, your voice strained, and Sarah jokes that you should take it easy with your classes, instead of suspecting anything else.

"Fine! I won't go if you don't want me to, but if you show up dead by stress, I'll be free of guilt"

He kisses the outline of your jaw with sloppy movements, like he just wants to busy himself while Sarah blabbers about the practice, and you keep trying to make her stop, but she tells you not to worry, that she's on a break right now, and the task to avoid whimpering at his rough kisses across your neck becomes increasingly difficult. A gasp escapes your lips when his teeth sink into your flesh. Mine, not to be said but to be felt. Seen by the rest. A pretty red that tastes like the blood he craves, the hunger akin to violence. Bad girl, and he's biting your lip to stop any other filthy noises from escaping. What if she hears?

"Are you okay?" concern laced on Sarah's tone. Guilt creeps through the cracks of the worn-out paint of his bedroom, one your friend had practically begged him to restore; the joke of it all was that was about his job yet he couldn't fix his own goddamn house. "Y/n, did you hurt yourself?"

I'm treating you well, ain't I, doll? and then he'd grin against the crook of your neck before looking at you, his dark blown-wide pupils gazing at you with a hunger you didn't think it was possible. They'd burn, and the fire didn't scare you: it was the warm your cold body needed. Tell Sarah her daddy ain't hurting her slut of a friend.

"I-I'm fine" you manage to choke out. Good girl.

Joel's lids feel heavy as a crown. But you like 'em rough, don't 'cha, baby?

"Should I worry?"

Joel pulls harder, your scalp burning at the harsh tug. Answer when I ask. You breathe in heavily, and Sarah keeps on asking you if you're okay, threatening to burst through a dorm door she'll find empty.

"N-no" you meekly answer, and he laughs at your demeanor. Under his weight, pinned down on the mattress, there's nowhere to run to.

"Is it okay if I-"

"Sarah I need to hang, okay? My head hurts. Bye" it all comes down in a rush, the words a vomit of excuses. You make sure the call has ended, and so does Joel, that in an act of mercy, has stopped. You both look the screen until the lockscreen is back up again, a picture of you and Sarah. Despite used to having his weight on top of you, your throat feels constricted.

"Do you want to traumatize your daughter, Mr. Miller?"

He's back at his task of kissing, making you moan and writhe at the sensitivity of your kissed and bit skin during the last hour. You hate how he takes his time―edging you; unbearable.

"What I want is you"

The lie comes out effortlessly from his teeth. He wants you, needs you, but does he really want you? His daughter's best friend, the college girl he was going to lecture just last summer―to live life and forget about him, yet couldn't. He lies to himself, saying he didn't because you felt asleep, but feeling a warm body next to him, being your beautiful frame of all people, made it hard.

The way he makes a moaning mess out of you, how he knows every spot of your body no one had been able to please before, how your cunt stretches perfectly around his cock, how you call his name like no one else had done. It belongs to you now, and this is a vice.

It's like he's got a wound, and you're the only balm that can soothe the pain. But the effect is temporary, and after you leave, he always finds himself wanting more.

The doubt on his eyes has your heart beating out of fear.

"Then have me, Mr. Miller" you dare.

When Joel smiles, barely noticeable, something flutters in your stomach.

"Al'ight, impatient one. We have sum hours until Sarah's back. Spread" his hand nudges your thighs apart, and you oblige, making Joel chuckle at your obedience. "Good girl, baby. S'good f'r me"

You let out a gentle moan at the praise, and he smirks at your reaction.

"Feelin' desperate, are we?" he taunts, seeing your pretty lips parted and face flushed, a whine escaping them.

"Shut the fuck up and just kiss me already" you beg, pussy throbbing painfully.

"Damn brat" he hisses, "ain't you such'a needy greedy slut?" his finger hooks on your panties, tugging you closer into him, your body rising to clash against his softer frame that has nothing to do with his rough demeanor. You can feel the bulge that has formed through his pants, making you moan in delight.

"Sorry, daddy. I'll be a good girl" you squirm under his weight, pouting lips and batting eyelashes. "Please, kiss me. Pretty please, daddy"

"Jus' cus you asked well" but he knows it's an excuse to capture your sweet lips until he's tasted all of you. You once heard old men kiss like they want to devour every inch of your mouth, to make space for their tongue like it's going to live in there, and they were right.

He pulls away from the kiss to pull out his shirt, revealing his soft body. Your hands itch, immediatly reaching for it with wandering fingers. He chuckles at the eagerness, but then he catches the subtle adoration in your eyes, and his breath hitches, heart stopping.

"What's wrong?" you look up, and it's gone. Maybe he imagined it.

Joel doesn't know why he feels dissapointed by it.

He tries to push the thoughts back, head diving down between your breasts, leaving sloppy kisses and messy trails of saliva with his tongue on each one. He gives a special lick to your hardened nipples, making you squirm.

"Gonna bend y'r fuckin' sexy little body on this sheets. Gonna make you cum all'over, until y'r scent is'mpregnated on 'em"

You groan at his words, fingers pulling down the pajama shorts you brought over, revealing your pretty black laced lingerine.

"Fuck, baby. You wore 'em for me?" he's asking, and you'd be crazy if you think the tone reveals devotion. Is Joel even capable of warmth?

He leaves a new trail of kisses, this time, running from your neck to your stomach.

"Gonna make you scream my name 'til that's the only thin' you know how to say" his hot breath tingles over your abdomen. He buries his face in there, the mustache and scruffy graying hair tickling the skin. "Gon' give you such'a load, this flat stomach of yours will be bustin' with my seed"

You whine at his filthy words, mouth agape slightly. He looks at your soaked panties, arousal on clear display now. Joel's cock twitches in the confines of his jeans.

He lets out a low growl. "Look at you, such'a slut for me. Drippin' wet like a fuckin' whore and desperate, when I ain't even touch you"

To prove so, Joel teasingly runs his fingers along your inner thigh, dangerously close to your soaking core.

He pulls your underwear down, taking them off.

"M'gonna fuck you real good, baby" his fingers dig on your thighs for support, the burning sensation of his calloused digits on your soft skin delicious. "Gon' take care of what's mine"

Mine.

The words ring loud and clear. The only other noise to be heard is his lips leaving wet sounds against your thighs. Does Joel even realize what he said? Or was it in the heat of the moment?

No, wait. Stop. Why do you care?

He begins to rub circles in your clit, coating his fingers in your dripping arousal, prodding the tense needy hole, making you moan in desperation.

"Please, daddy" your lips cry as you beg for him to do anything to remove the pain in between your legs.

"Please, what?" Joel teases, voice raspy. He keeps prodding your center, his digits in and out in a gentle manner, contrasting his hard hold on your thigh. You squirm and whine at the sensation, but maybe it's the dark on his eyes that's really responsable for making you shrink under his gaze. "Think 'm doin' this for ya'? To please ya'? No, baby" he tuts, "you were a bad girl. Almost got caught"

"If you didn't make me answer" you seethe, a moan almost escaping your lips when his fingers hit that sweet spot of yours. "Maybe if you didn't, she wouldn't-"

Joel removed his fingers from you, and you reduce to a moaning mess, begging for the release you were chasing and now it's lost.

"But you wanted'er to know, didn't ya'?" he unbuckles his belt and fumbles with his worn-out jeans, revealing a barely concealed neediness on his side. "Wanted'er to know where 'er slut of a friend was: at daddy's house, beggin' for his dick like a cockhungry slut"

"I-I want it. Want you dick" you barely choke out, lips parted at the sight of his pulsating dick's silhouette under his brief.

"Then take it, hungry one"

His tip buries deeply into your cunt before you even speak again, sliding inside in one swift motion. You gasp, as he fills you up completely, because despite the way your cunt stretches for him, or the way you have had his dick and need it, his girth never fails to amaze you.

"D-daddy" you moan, walls stretching to accommodate his size. Your sweet arousal drips down your thighs, coating Joel's balls. Fuck, doesn't he love to see you squirming under him. He's never had a woman like you before, wrapped around his finger. You may be a girl, but God, you feel so much better around his dick than anyone else: your cunt tenses around his cock deliciously, his dick twitching when he takes a look at your legs shaking and fucked out state.

"That's it, pretty girl. Beg for'it"

His words go straight to your core as you moan. "Please. Let me take all of you, Joel, please"

You said his name. Fuck. He shouldn't be this aroused, but the way you say it like that's the only thing you know, like it means something more, it makes his dick throb and heart sting. That he, Joel Miller, old bitter man, single dad, could mean more to a young pretty girl like you.

"Fuck" he grunts, grabbing a handful of your hair as he begins to pull out slowly, plunging inside of you with harsh movements. The sound of skin clapping is obscene as he begins to fuck you mercilessly. "Ain't you a noisy lil' thing, huh? You like that, baby? You like it rough?"

Your voice comes out shaky. "Y-yes, daddy. F-fuck, just like that. I like it a l-lot"

"Good girl" he grins satisfied with your respone, his thrusts getting rougher and messier. "Lookin' s'pretty with my dick's inside of you"

Joel changes angles without telling you, brushing your g-spot. A noise so loud and vulgar comes out of your parted lips, and you feel ashamed.

But then he's brushing a strand of hair from your face, with a delicacy you've seen reserved for his daughter only. It feels weird, and you try that it doesn't distract you from your looming orgasm.

"Joel..." you breath out his name.

"Yes?" with everything coming out of his mouth: possesiveness, neediness, pleasure. Like he'd give you the world if you just ask, despite telling himself he wouldn't.

"K-keep going"

Your gaze bores into his eyes with an intensity that almost makes him stop. Because the words are simple, but Joel's been alive enough on this Earth to know it doesn't mean just that.

Keep going. Don't stop. Don't end this. Don't let me go.

"Whatever m'princess asks if she asks 'em nice"

You scream in pleasure as his thrusts become deeper, his balls slapping against your cunt, as your slick begins to run down your thighs. Joel thinks he's going crazy at the way your folds take him, how tight you feel, and the loud noises you make, begging him to fuck you harder, to use you. Every thrust pushes you closer to the edge, writhing under his touch as you begin to see stars.

"You close, aren't ya'?" he laughs, but it's devoid of mockery. A subtle softness hides behind them. Ask nicely, and I shall give. "Gon' cream 'round my dick like a good girl, right?"

His digits dig in the flesh of your hips, guiding himself to fuck you harder, for you to take him better, caging your body under the sheets, pushing you even closer to your orgasm. You mewl loudly, tears in the corner of your eyes at the delicious burn.

If you told yourself a year ago you'd be crying over Joel Miller's dick, of all people, you'd probably laugh. But no college boys had been able to please you, less bring you to tears as you reach your orgasm. This is heaven, and you aren't ready to say goodbye to the paradise you found in summer just yet.

Your core tenses around him, body so close to finishing, hair a mess, eyes brimming with tears, and lips spilling the filthiest sounds ever heard to humankind. It's heaven, and Joel isn't ready to give it up just yet. Your pussy throbs, and as your juices mix as one, you roll your eyes and head back, your high approaching, knot in your stomach tightening faster. Before you can register, your mind goes blank and you're seeing stars.

You come around his cock, coating it in your arousal as Joel admires how you cream his member, tight walls almost pushing him out of you. He groans at your simmering cries, some tears coming out of your eyes.

"What'e fuckin' slut, baby. You sure are somethin' else" he chuckles, his thrusts messier by his own high approaching. "Wait for me, yeah, baby?"

You humm, as he buries deep into you, filling you up completely, as his hips stop their harsh movements when he feels the tension in his abdomen release.

"Fuckin' sweet" he uses a finger to clean some of the slick that's run down your leg. "Good girl"

He licks them off in an obscene display, making sure to never break contact.

"If you keep doing that, I'm gonna become a real bad girl" you taunt.

Then he pulls out of you carefully, doing his best not to spill too much of his load from your cunt. He grabs one of the corners of his sheets, cleaning some of his seed from your thighs. Joel should be careful, but all his foggy mind can muster is you being his in every way he can. Making you his. Mine. Mine. Mine. You plead him not to do that, but he argues laundry day is soon and he likes it better when it smells like you anyway. You confess with a cute light blush in your cheeks that you do the same when he comes over to fuck you in your dorm, sleeping better when the covers smell like him. He shouldn't feel like this: like it could be. But he allows himself to, even for an instant.

"Oh, yeah?" he pants, "what you gon' do?"

Your eyes travel to his jeans and untied buckle he hadn't wasted time taking off, rather just pulling them down.

"I have something in mind..." you wander off, remembering filthy thoughts of your first night together, how you briefly thought about it. "I-" you cut off, blushing furiously.

"Yes?" he holds your chin tightly, forcing you to look at him as his rough fingers press on the skin. "Remember what I told ya', baby? To ask nicely? 'Cause you said you'd be a good girl, so be one and tell daddy what'd ya' want"

You gulp, trying to hold his gaze. You never back down. You never back down. But the intensity of the shinning copper makes that insufferable character of yours to be tamed, boiling against the surface but just scratching, all screams lost. Is like he knows this power over you, acting on it with a benevolence so sick, it has you thinking loving Joel Miller isn't impossible.

You never back down, but being with Joel feels like walking over stones, always thinking about the next step and the ones that were, ghosts of the lingering doubts and afterthoughts behind every step you take. It's like there's a river below them, washing away regret.

But you're still here: water up your knees then and now over your head.

You're barely floating. You'd be willing to drown anyway.

"I want to ride your belt buckle"

There's silence in the other side, until its met with a light chuckle.

"Yeah?" Joel keeps on laughing, his eyebrows raised in disbelief. "S'that what that filthy head of yours be thinkin' on?"

"Stop it" you groan, covering your hot face with your palms. You wish you could erase that ugly smirk off his face. "I'm never telling you anything again, ever"

"Now c'mon, baby. I was jus' messin' 'round" his tone adquires a soft edge to it, tender warm hands removing yours from your face. "Don't cover your face, baby. You're too goddam pretty" you blush, and Joel better resist the urge to kiss you just for the sake of kissing you. "I didn't mean to make fun of ya'. You know y'can tell me anythin' that's goin' inside that head of yours"

"Then you'll let me?" your pretty eyes look up to him, shinning like the stars of the summer night sky months ago.

He can't deny you anything, and a small crack of fear wounds his impenetrable heart.

"Get'ere you filthy slut"

You eagerly climb onto his lap as he sits against the beds headboard, your thighs pushing against his belly.

"Now" he tries to put in a more comfortable position, his tired joints creaking. He avoids your gaze, coughing over his blush. "You do all the job, baby. I ain't gonna help you, this greedy pussy took all of my energy"

You giggle, moving until your bare pussy clashes against the cold. A shiver runs down your spine, the dried juices moistening again over the metal piece. His hands move to your hips, hands now soft as they hold you, and he seems unsure of it, both of your breaths coming out ragged.

"You said you weren't gonna help" you chuckle, wrapping your arms around his neck. His face feels closer, and you can see lines time has marked across his features. "But thanks, daddy"

His heart takes a dangerous leap.

"'Course, baby" he smiles. "You know I spoil ya' too damn much"

You begin to roll your hips, sliding your pussy over the cold material, your arousal making a wet slick sound that bounces off the walls, a shiver down your back as you feel your slick already coating the front of it and the top of his jeans.

"Mmm, can't say no to me, can you, baby?" you mock, rocking your hips back and forth. A shaky breath escapes your parted lips, and Joel feels his renovated dick spring hard. You moan, your ass barely touching his now tense member.

"Quit runnin' that mouth of y'rs, baby" his digits dig on your skin, "or I'll bend ya' over again"

"Sorry, daddy" you feel the metal star on the middle digging inside your pussy, the borders of the imprint brushing your leaking cunt in a pleasant way. "I promise to be good"

"Do" he grunts, "you're runnin' out of time, doll"

You close your eyes, movements more quick and erratic, little moans leaving your body as you groan.

"Tell me how this lil' experiment of yours feelin', baby"

"F-feels good, daddy. Fuck" you groan, lifting your hips a bit as you grind yourself down across the material. "So so good, daddy. Thank you, daddy"

"Mmm, that's right. Now be a good girl and come for me. Let me see that pretty face of yours when ya' come over ma' belt"

You let out a shaky breath, juices spilling over his jeans even as you see stars. He chuckles, enamoured at the sight.

"You gonna need help with that?" you point out his boner.

Oh, aren't you a doll? So kind-hearted.

"That's okay" he breathes out, tiredly. He thinks of the next trip to the bathroom, the image of what he'll fuck himself to clear now.

You smile at him, for the first time forgetting this started as a blowing-off-steam-time or transaction.

For a moment, it feels like it could be.

"Jus' seein' you cum all over me so prettily is'nough, baby"

credits: divider @kodaswrld / gif @loregifs

#dilfistwrites #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #joel miller #joel miller tlou #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel miller angst #bfd!joel miller #bfd!joel #tlou #tlou fanfiction #to the devil i know series

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speaknow-sw · 5 months ago

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𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝓇𝑒𝓋𝒾𝒸𝑒𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓉

Summary : When your Master comes back from mission, ready to scream his emotions, or make you scream them.

Word Count : 4.2k

Ｃｏｎｔｅｎｔ: Master/Padawan relationship, love confession, worshipping, PiV, size kink, breeding kink, mating press, missionary, pussy eating, vaginal fingering, big cock, bigger Anakin, slight degradation.

A/N : a happy belated birthday to @anisangeldust my wife <3 I love you and here’s your birthday gift : 4.2k of pure smut with a 6’8, 220lbs Anakin Skywalker. This work is kinda poetic cuz I’m a poet…

𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝓇𝑒𝓋𝒾𝒸𝑒𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓉

Anakin Skywalker stood at the doorframe of your room, the twin suns of Tatooine's memory searing his vision even here, light-years away. The years had sculpted him — 6’8, 220 pounds of wiry strength and coiled power, his frame cast in sharp shadows beneath his Jedi robes. His muscles were taut beneath the fabric, but they weren’t the reason he felt like his skin might burst into flame.

It was you.

You were standing a few meters away, barely reaching his chest, your delicate frame lost among the gigantic room. His “Padawan,” the one he told himself was just that. The one he had been so careful to hide his obsession for. So careful to control his gaze, to smother his hunger behind careful smiles and glances he hoped were subtle. But the Force wasn’t subtle in the way it surged around you. It crackled in his bones every time you spoke, every time you laughed.

And today, he was done pretending.

Your head turned, and you spotted him. A smile bloomed on your lips — unguarded, bright. His pulse hammered.

His jaw clenched, and he strode toward you, closing the distance with long, deliberate steps. Each one felt like a step off a cliff, a plunge into gravity he couldn’t resist anymore. You tilted your head up to meet his gaze, curiosity flickering in your eyes.

He stopped just inches away, towering over you, the heat of his body palpable. He couldn’t stop the way his fingers curled, aching to touch you. His voice, low and rough, broke the silence.

“Tell me I’m not imagining this.”

“Master,” You smiled brightly.

His heart clenched at the word, sweet and devastating in your mouth. Master. The title was a barrier between them, a wall he had built brick by brick, day by day, to keep you safe. To keep himself sane. But now, hearing it fall from your lips, it felt like a mockery. A cruel joke played by the Force itself.

"Don't call me that," he growled, the words torn from his throat. His hand shot out, fingers curling around your jaw, tilting your face up towards his. Your skin was soft, impossibly delicate beneath his calloused palm. He could feel the rapid flutter of your pulse, matching the frantic pounding of his own heart.

His gaze dropped to your lips, full and pink and tempting beyond belief. He leaned in, breath ghosting over your skin. "Call me Anakin," he breathed, his voice rough with need. "Or nothing at all."

The air between them was electric, charged with tension and desire. He could feel the Force pulsing around you, drawing him closer, taunting him with the forbidden fruit of your body. His thumb brushed over your bottom lip, tracing the soft curve, and he swallowed hard.

"I've tried to resist this," he murmured, his forehead resting against yours. "Tried to tell myself it was wrong. But I can't anymore. Not when you look at me like that."

His free hand slid down your back, spanning the curve of your waist, pulling you flush against him. He could feel every inch of you, soft and yielding against his hard planes. His hips pressed forward, grinding against you, and a low groan escaped his throat.

"Tell me you want this," he whispered, his lips brushing yours with every word. "Tell me you want me."

“M-Master…I…I—” You blushed furiously. To your utter surprise, he kneeled in front of you, and even in this position, he was taller than you.

His knees hit the floor with a soft thud, the impact jarring through his joints, his legs folding like a supplicant before an altar. Even kneeling, he was still eye level with you, his face mere inches from your trembling form. The position was unfamiliar, humbling, a stark contrast to the power he wielded. But it felt right, somehow. Necessary.

His hands found your hips, large and warm, spanning the delicate bones. He could feel the heat of your skin through the thin fabric of your clothes, the way your body trembled beneath his touch. His thumbs rubbed slow circles, soothing, coaxing.

"Shh," he murmured, his voice low and soothing. "There's no need to be afraid. I won't hurt you."

His gaze locked with yours, intense and searching. He could see the confusion, the uncertainty swirling in the depths of your eyes. He understood. This was new, uncharted territory. For both of them.

Slowly, deliberately, he leaned forward, pressing his forehead against your stomach. The movement forced you to look down at him, your hair falling forward in a silky curtain. He breathed in deeply, the scent of you filling his lungs, his senses. Sweet and intoxicating, like the spices of a thousand worlds.

One hand slid up your back, fingers tangling in your hair, tugging gently until your head tipped back, exposing the elegant line of your neck. His lips brushed the sensitive skin just below your ear, a feather-light touch that sent shivers racing down your spine.

"Tell me what you want," he whispered against your skin, his breath hot and damp. "Tell me how to please you."

His other hand slid lower, cupping your ass, pulling you harder against him. He could feel the heat of your core, even through the layers of clothing separating them. It took all his willpower not to rip them away, to bare you to his hungry gaze.

But this wasn't about him. It was about you. About giving you what you needed, what you craved. Even if it killed him.

He was only a man after, a man made to worship, a god…or a woman. You nodded « T-the bed, Master » You stammered, blushing under his heated gaze. Nobody ever looked at you with such reverence —with such devotion.

A single word, a command whispered from your lips, and he obeyed without hesitation. His hands slid from your body, leaving you feeling bereft, cold. But the loss was brief, replaced by the heat of his presence as he rose to his feet, his tall frame towering over you once more.

In one fluid motion, he scooped you into his arms, cradling you against his chest like a precious treasure. Your head nestled perfectly in the crook of his neck, your face buried in the warmth of his skin. He could feel the rapid flutter of your pulse, the way your breath hitched with each step he took towards the bed.

The mattress dipped beneath his weight as he lowered himself onto it, settling back against the pillows with you still clutched tightly in his arms. His hand slid up your spine, tracing the delicate curve of your back, the dip of your waist.

"Is this what you want?" he murmured, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. "To be worshipped? To be adored?"

His other hand tangled in your hair, tilting your head back, forcing you to meet his gaze. His eyes were dark, intense, burning with a hunger that took your breath away. A hunger that mirrored your own.

Slowly, deliberately, he leaned in, his lips hovering a hairsbreadth from yours. "Tell me," he breathed, his voice rough with need. "Tell me what you need. What you crave."

His tongue darted out, wetting his lips, and you couldn't help but follow the movement, your own tongue peeking out to moisten your dry mouth. The air between you was electric, charged with tension and desire.

One hand slid down your side, skimming over your hip, your thigh, before settling on your knee. He pushed your leg up, opening you to him, his fingers trailing fire in their wake.

"I want to hear you say it," he growled, his teeth nipping at your earlobe. "I want to hear you beg for it."

His hand slid higher, bunching the fabric of your skirt, pushing it up and up until cool air kissed your heated flesh. His fingers brushed the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. “P-please…Master…I need you.” You whimpered, his words like poetry in your ears.

His breath caught in his throat, your plea echoing through his mind like a prayer. The words he had longed to hear, the admission he had craved. He could feel the force of his desire, a living thing pulsing between them, urging him to claim you, to make you his.

But he held back, restraint a fragile thread, fraying with each passing second. He wanted to savor this moment, to memorize every breath, every sigh, every shudder of your body.

"Look at you," he murmured, his voice rough with awe. "So beautiful. So perfect."

His hand slid higher, fingers brushing against the damp heat of your core. You gasped, your hips bucking into his touch, seeking more. He obliged, his thumb circling your clit with maddening slowness, teasing, tormenting.

"You're so wet for me," he growled, his lips trailing down your neck, nipping, sucking, marking you as his own. "So ready for me."

His big fingers dipped lower, sliding through your slick folds, teasing your entrance. You whimpered, your nails digging into his shoulders, your body arching into his touch.

"Please," you gasped, your hips rocking against his hand. "Please, Master. I need you inside me."

The words were his undoing. With a low growl, he surged forward, capturing your lips in a searing kiss. His tongue delved into your mouth, claiming you, possessing you. His long fingers pushed inside you, stroking, stretching, preparing you for his cock as you moaned from the large intrusion.

He broke the kiss, panting, his eyes wild and hungry. "I'm going to fuck you now," he rasped, his voice raw with need. "I'm going to make you mine."

His obsession consumed him, a raging inferno that scorched his every thought. His cock throbbed, heavy and hard, aching to bury itself deep inside your welcoming heat. But it wasn't enough. He wanted more. He wanted everything.

"I'm going to fill you up," he growled, his voice thick with lust. "I'm going to pump you full of my seed until your belly swells with my babies."

His fingers plunged deeper, curling against your inner walls, stroking that sensitive spot that made you see stars. "Imagine it," he purred, his lips brushing your ear. "Your body round and ripe with my children. Your tits heavy and full, leaking milk for our young."

He could picture it, the image seared into his mind. You, glowing with life, your skin stretched taut over the evidence of his possession. His cock twitched at the thought, pre-cum beading at the tip.

"I'll keep you barefoot and pregnant," he promised, his voice a dark rumble. "My personal breeding mare, ready and willing to take my cock whenever I please."

His thumb rubbed circles around your clit, the pressure just right, sending jolts of pleasure shooting through your body. "Say you want it," he demanded, his teeth grazing your earlobe. "Say you want to be bred like a bitch in heat."

Anakin’s eyes darkened with possessive hunger as he gazed down at your petite form, his cock throbbing with the need to claim you, to make you his. But even in his lust-fueled haze, he recognized the challenge before him. Your tight, untouched pussy would require patience, care, and plenty of preparation before it could accommodate his massive member.

"Such a tiny little hole," he rumbled, his fingers exploring your slick folds, stroking and teasing. "So small and tight. Made just for me."

He brought his fingers to his lips, tasting your essence, savoring the sweetness of your arousal. "But don't worry, my sweet. I'll stretch you out. I'll make you take every inch of my cock."

His thumb found your clit, rubbing firm circles, coaxing your body to open for him. His other hand slid down to cup your ass, kneading the supple flesh, holding you steady as he worked you open.

"That's it," he encouraged, his voice low and soothing. "Relax for me. Let me in."

Slowly, carefully, he began to work a finger inside you, the digit sinking into your tight heat. You gasped, your walls clenching around the intrusion, trying to push it out. But he was patient, gentle, stroking and massaging until you began to relax, your body accepting his touch.

"Good girl," he praised, his voice rough with approval. "Such a good little cock sleeve, taking my finger so well."

He pumped his finger in and out, twisting and curling, seeking that special spot deep inside you. When he found it, your back arched off the bed, a cry of pleasure escaping your lips.

"That's it," he growled, his own breathing growing ragged. "Take it. Take everything I give you."

He added a second finger, then a third, stretching you wider, preparing you for the inevitability of his cock. All the while, his thumb continued its relentless assault on your clit, pushing you higher, closer to the edge.

The sight of your tears, glistening like diamonds on your flushed cheeks, only fueled his desire. Your nails scrabbled at his scalp, your body writhing beneath him as he worked his fingers deeper, stretching you wider, preparing you for his massive cock.

"That's it," he growled, his voice thick with lust. "Take it all. Take every inch."

His hand twisted, his fingers curling and scissoring, opening you up, making room for his girth. You sobbed, your back bowing off the bed, your walls clenching around his invading digits.

"Fuck, you're so tight," he grunted, his own hips rocking forward, his cock sliding along your thigh, leaving a trail of pre-cum in its wake. "Such a perfect little hole, made just for me."

Anakin could feel your body yielding to his touch, your muscles relaxing, accepting his invasion. Slowly, carefully, he began to pump his fist in and out, fucking you with his hand, stretching you, readying you for the real thing.

Your cries filled the room, a symphony of pleasure and pain, your nails raking down his back, leaving red welts in their wake. He reveled in it, in the knowledge that he was the one causing you such exquisite torment, the one bringing you such intense pleasure.

"Almost there," he panted, his own body trembling with the effort of holding back, of not ramming his cock into your prepared hole and fucking you until you screamed. "Almost ready for my cock."

He added a fourth finger, then a fifth, his hand disappearing into your heat, his knuckles brushing against your entrance. You keened, your eyes rolling back, your body shaking with the force of your impending orgasm.

"Come for me," he commanded, his thumb pressing hard against your clit. "Come on my hand like a good little slut."

And you did, your body convulsing, your walls clamping down around his fingers, milking them, greedy for more. He worked you through it, his hand never stopping its relentless movement, prolonging your pleasure, pushing you to new heights.

The sight of you coming undone, your face contorted in ecstasy, your body shaking with the force of your release, nearly undid him. His hips bucked wildly, grinding against the sheets, his cock throbbing, aching for relief. But he held back, his jaw clenched, his muscles rigid with the effort of not spilling his seed too soon.

"Fuck," he groaned, his voice strained. "You're so fucking hot when you come."

He withdrew his hand slowly, watching as your hole fluttered, clenching around nothing, desperate to be filled. A fresh surge of lust crashed over him, and he had to take a moment to regain his composure, to rein in his desire before he lost all control.

When he finally raised his head, his eyes were wild, his pupils blown wide with need. He crawled up your body, his lips and teeth and tongue leaving a trail of fire in their wake. He captured your lips in a bruising kiss, swallowing your cries, tasting your pleasure on your tongue.

The sheer size of Anakin was overwhelming, a testament to his virility, his power. His cock jutted from his body, thick and heavy, the veins pulsing beneath the smooth skin. The head was an angry purple, leaking copious amounts of pre-cum, glistening in the dim light of the room.

He positioned himself between your legs, the broad head of his cock nudging against your entrance. You could feel the heat of him, the hardness, the raw masculinity that emanated from his very being.

"Look at it," he growled, his voice rough with lust. "Look at how big it is. How it's stretching you out, making you mine."

He pressed forward, the head of his cock popping past your entrance, stretching you wider than you ever thought possible. You cried out, your nails digging into his shoulders, your body resisting the intrusion.

"Shh," he soothed, his hand coming up to cup your face, his thumb brushing over your lips. "Relax. Let it in. Let it claim you."

He pushed further, inch by agonizing inch, his thick shaft splitting you open, filling you in a way you'd never been filled before. You could feel every ridge, every vein, every throbbing pulse of his cock as it slid deeper, deeper, until it couldn’t.

You mewled and clawed at his back “Too much…too m-much Ani…” You couldn’t take all his cock and it bruised your insides.

His heart clenched at the sound of your distress, at the pain in your voice. He knew he was big, knew that taking all of him would be a challenge, even with the extensive preparation. But he had gotten carried away in his lust, in his need to claim you, to make you his.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice hoarse with regret. "I'm sorry, my love. I didn't mean to hurt you."

He pulled back slowly, his cock slipping out of your abused hole, leaving you feeling empty, aching. He gathered you into his arms, cradling you against his chest, his hand stroking soothing patterns on your back.

"Shh," he murmured, pressing soft kisses to your temple, your cheek, your lips. "It's okay. We'll take it slow. We'll do this right."

"That's it," he murmured, his voice low and soothing as he peppered your face with gentle kisses. "Just breathe, my love. You're doing so well."

His hips rocked forward, inch by inch, his massive cock slowly sinking into your tight heat. He watched your face intently, gauging your reactions, ready to stop at the first sign of discomfort.

"Fuck," he grunted, his eyes rolling back as your walls gripped him like a velvet vice. "You feel incredible. So tight, so perfect."

He paused when he reached the barrier of your cervix, giving you time to adjust to his size. His hand slid between your bodies, finding your clit, rubbing slow, steady circles, coaxing your pleasure.

"That's it," he encouraged, his voice a low rumble. "Let yourself feel good. Let yourself enjoy it."

He began to move then, shallow thrusts that gradually increased in depth and intensity. Each slide of his cock sent sparks of pleasure shooting through your body, building, intensifying, until you were writhing beneath him, your nails digging into his back.

Anakin’s sheer size was overwhelming, his large, muscular body blanketing yours, pinning you to the bed. His arms, thick with corded muscle, caged you in, his hands splayed on either side of your head, his fingers curling into the sheets. You felt small, delicate, completely at his mercy.

"You're mine," he growled, his voice a low, possessive rumble. "All mine. My perfect little mate."

His hips snapped forward, driving his cock deeper, harder, faster. Each thrust sent shockwaves of pleasure through your body, your walls clenching around him, greedy for more.

"Feel that," he panted, his breath hot against your ear as he pressed on your lower belly where the shape of his gigantic cock was bulging. "Feel how deep I am. How I'm stretching you out, claiming you."

His body covered yours completely, his broad chest pressing against your breasts, his hard abs grinding against your soft stomach. You could feel every inch of him, the heat of his skin, the power in his muscles.

His movements became more urgent, more primal, as he shifted your legs up and over his shoulders, folding you nearly in half. The new angle allowed him to penetrate you even deeper, his cock ramming against your cervix with each powerful thrust.

"Fuck," he grunted, his eyes wild, his face contorted with pleasure. "You're so fucking tight. So perfect."

His hands slid under your thighs, gripping your hips, pulling you onto his cock with each snap of his hips. The bed creaked beneath you, the headboard slamming against the wall with the force of his thrusts.

"Take it," he growled, his voice a low, menacing snarl. "Take my cock. Take everything I have to give you."

He pounded into you relentlessly, his balls slapping against your ass, his cock stretching you to the limit. You could do nothing but hold on, your hands clutching at his arms, your nails digging into his skin.

The sound of the bed frame cracking, the mattress sagging beneath your combined weight, only fueled his lust, his desire to claim you, to mark you as his. His hips pistoned forward, his cock slamming into you with brutal force, the head battering against your cervix with each thrust.

"Yes," he snarled, his eyes wild, his face contorted with pleasure. "Fuck yes. Mark me. Leave your claim on my skin."

He could feel your nails raking down his back, your legs kicking weakly at his sides as he held you in place, impaling you on his massive cock. The pain of your nails, the sting of your skin breaking, only served to heighten his pleasure, his need to dominate, to conquer, to own the woman he loved so fully. He wanted to consume you, nest in the crevices of your heart.

“Anakin…An-Anakin…Ani…” You moaned helplessly as he worshipped you like a goddess. You couldn’t even think about anything else, only him, only your Anakin.

His name never beheld such beauty before you had moaned it. Between the curves of your lips his name was given meaning at last. His soul was starved in want of your own and he knew that within the cathedral of your ribs laid his beating heart.

His hips snapped forward, driving into you with renewed vigor. The bed creaked and groaned beneath you, the headboard slamming against the wall with each powerful thrust. He could feel your walls fluttering around him, your body tightening, climbing towards its peak.

"Come for me," he demanded, his hand sliding between your bodies, his fingers finding your clit. "Come on my cock. Let me feel you."

He rubbed firm circles, his touch unrelenting, pushing you closer to the edge. Your moans grew louder, more frantic, your body shaking beneath him.

"That's it," he panted, his own release building, his balls drawing up tight. "Let go. Let go and come for me."

The feeling of your walls clamping down on his cock, rippling and squeezing, was his undoing. With a roar of completion, he buried himself to the hilt, his cock pulsing, his seed jetting forth in thick, hot spurts. He filled you, claimed you, marked you from the inside out.

"Fuck," he grunted, his hips jerking, his body shuddering with the force of his release. "Fuck yes. Take it all."

He collapsed on top of you, his weight pressing you into the mattress, his cock still buried deep inside you. You could feel his heart pounding, his chest heaving as he struggled to catch his breath.

"That was..." he began, his voice rough, hoarse. "That was incredible."

He rolled to the side, pulling you with him, cradling you against his chest. His hand stroked your hair, your face, your body, soothing, comforting.

"You're amazing," he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "So perfect. So beautiful."

He held you close, savoring the feel of your naked body against his, the warmth of your skin, the scent of your hair. In that moment, he felt complete, whole, as if a piece of himself that had been missing had finally clicked into place.

“Anakin —Master, you’re heavy.” You whined, squirming under him.

He propped himself up on his elbows, looking down at you with a tender smile. "What is it, my love?" he asked, his voice soft, concerned.

He could see the exhaustion in your eyes, the way your body trembled slightly beneath him. The realization of his weight upon you hit him like a physical blow, and he quickly rolled off, gathering you into his arms instead.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple. "I didn't mean to crush you. Are you alright?"

His hands roamed over your body, checking for any signs of distress, any indication that he had hurt you. But aside from a few faint bruises and the telltale ache between your legs, you seemed unharmed.

"Rest now," he whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "I've got you. I won't let anything happen to you."

He settled back against the pillows, pulling you close, your head resting on his chest. He could feel your breaths evening out, your body relaxing into his embrace. And as you drifted off to sleep, he held you tight, his own eyes drifting closed, a contented smile playing on his lips.

Tags ; @qalijahbydior , @anystalker707 , @the-gray-maiden , @anakinca , @cloverina , @dazednstars141 , @valyna27 , @theoriginalsinner28

#hayden christensen #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker smut #anakin x reader #anakin smut #evie writes

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yuujispinkhair · 3 months ago

Text

MONSTER - Modern!Sukuna x Reader

When you meet a sexy, tattooed stranger in a club, you can't bring yourself to care that he looks like he might be bad for you. In fact, you wouldn't mind if he became the monster in your bed

Inspired by "Monster" by Lady Gaga. A while ago, someone sent me an ask about this song and Sukuna. I can't find the ask anymore, but I hope you will see this story! This is one of my favorite Sukuna songs, and I always feel so insane about him when I hear it. I wish he was the monster in my bed uwu 🖤 Modern!Sukuna x Reader (female). 3.5K words. 18+, smut, oral, rough sex, squirting, cumshot, mentions of alcohol. Minors don't interact. Divider @/benkeibear

You meet him in a club downtown. He's leaning casually against the bar, sipping his vodka, looking so sexy, with all those tattoos adorning his face and his body. He's dressed all in black with tight jeans and a sleeveless shirt to show off his gorgeous muscles. He is confident as hell. Arrogant even. But it makes him even more attractive to you. That smug, playful smirk on his tattooed face drives you crazy.

His face is beautiful, like an angel's, but you can tell that he is the opposite.

A bad boy. The type of guy your parents would tell you to stay away from because he is bad news. The type of guy your friends would fuck in the bathroom of the club because he is too irresistible to turn down, but they would never go for more because he surely brings all kinds of trouble into your life.

But none of that matters tonight. Not to you.

Not when he is so enticing, and there is this intense eye contact between the two of you that makes you feel light-headed. As if his eyes are full of a wordless promise.

You can't stop staring at him, giggling nervously at the way his gaze seems glued to you as you dance with your friends a few meters away. There's a look in his eyes that makes goosebumps rise on your arms. No one has ever looked at you that way. With such hunger in his pretty eyes. Like a powerful predator, a monster watching its prey.

It makes you shiver but, at the same time, you feel like an emptiness you have felt all your life seems to get replaced by something else. Something you have been missing and craving all your life. A kind of desire, a kind of want you have only read about in books or seen on TV screens. The kind of desire and attention you have been dreaming about but never thought would ever be directed your way.

But here he is. The sexiest guy you've ever seen. Like a devil, beautiful and seductive. As if someone overheard all your stupid little fantasies, all your nightly yearning, and manifested it into one person. You want him like you never wanted anything before.

Your friend says something to you, but you don't even hear her. All your focus is on him. And he smirks at you as he sets his empty glass on the bar counter, unashamedly looking deeply into your eyes, making your face feel so hot that you feel like you have a fever.

His eyes and his smirk seem to challenge you. Beckoning you to come over to him. Like a Venus flytrap, which sends out its seductive lure to attract its victims. And you are oh so willing to fall victim to this man.

You are so drawn to him, unable to stop yourself from dancing closer and closer. He cocks his head and raises an eyebrow, smirking that sexy, arrogant smirk again. A smirk that becomes wider when he lifts a large, tattooed hand and makes a beckoning gesture with his index finger. There's black nail polish on his nails, you notice, and small tattoos and rings on each finger.

You slip out of your friend's arms and take the last remaining steps toward the handsome devil who's been calling for you all evening. He is so tall that you have to tilt your head to look at his tattooed face. You are met with that arrogant, knowing smirk again. He looks good enough to eat, but you are sure that if anyone devours the other, it will surely be him who sinks his teeth into you.

He exudes confidence and danger, but you want him so bad, and you don't have the willpower to push him away when he puts a large hand on your waist and grinds against you in rhythm with the new song that is playing.

He looks intimidating with his tall height and broad shoulders and all those tattoos and piercings. But somehow everything feels so easy with him. He takes your hand in his much larger one and pulls you closer, drags you into his world, so all you see, feel, and know is him.

And he feels so good against you. Firm and strong, and smelling so good that it makes you bite your lips as you look up at him, trapped in the intense gaze out of those beautiful maroon eyes that almost glow red in the neon lighting of the club.

The bass is thumping loudly, making the whole club vibrate, sending a delicious feeling through your body. Or maybe it's because of the boy in front of you. Because of the way his large hands wander over your body.

His lips claim yours after just a few minutes, kissing you feverishly like you've never been kissed before. He grabs your chin, his thumb brushes over your lips, pulling down your lower lip, and then his tongue licks over your lips, hot and wet and so enticing that it makes you moan.

His kiss is savage. He licks deeply into your mouth, making your head spin as you feel his large, calloused hand cup your chin and tilt your head back, claiming you.

He has a tongue piercing. It feels amazing in your mouth, when he lets the small metal ball glide over your tongue with every deep kiss. It's arousing. It makes you get bolder and run your hands hungrily all over his tall, buff body, feeling him up, feeling all those firm muscles under your fingers, making you wish this dance will never end and you can just keep your hands on him forever.

The fact that he is so tall that you have to get on your tiptoes to even be able to kiss him makes it even hotter somehow. And his hand is on your chin, holding you in place, a long finger caressing your jaw, making you open your mouth even further for him, wanting more of him, wanting to give him more of you. And he takes it. He takes everything you offer him, and maybe even more than that.

Maybe he takes a part of your soul that night. But you don't care. At this point, if he told you he is a monster, a demon, or the devil himself, you wouldn't run, but instead sign over your soul to him oh so willingly, just for one more kiss, just for one more touch.

It feels exciting to be with him. He takes control so naturally, and it feels so comforting somehow as if you can finally let go of everything that has been worrying you. Nothing matters anymore apart from him, apart from this sexy stranger and his skilled tongue in your throat.

At some point, you shout over the music, asking him for his name, and he grins at you and leans down, teasingly licking the sweat off your neck, letting the metal ball of his tongue piercing glide over your sensitive skin before he bites your earlobe and murmurs in your ear,

"Sukuna."

He doesn't ask for your name. Maybe he doesn't care. Or maybe he doesn't need your real name because he already picked a name for you,

"Come closer, princess."

His voice is a low, velvety caress that sends shivers down your spine. Another light bite, his teeth gracing your earlobe, his lips spreading in a smile against your heated skin. No, you don't need him to know your name. You are quite happy with being his princess.

Somehow, it makes things even more exciting, even more forbidden. You are just two strangers dancing and making out in a club, and Sukuna's kisses and body feel so good, and that's really all you need to know.

His tall, firm body is pressed tightly against yours, grinding slowly against you. His large hands wander over your body, wrapping around your waist, his thumbs dipping lower, even in the middle of the dancefloor, teasing you, making shivers run through you. And his breath is so hot on your skin when he whispers in your ear. Nasty promises of what he will do to you.

Sukuna is a monster. He knows exactly what he's doing. He knows exactly how sexy he is and how crazy he drives you with everything he says and does.

He asks you to leave with him, smirking that sexy smirk that has you all crazy for him, and before you can even think twice, you already nod and smile up at his tattooed face.

Usually, you don't go home with strangers. Usually, you don't take any risks. Usually, you are always too scared to enjoy life to the fullest. But tonight, something is different. Or maybe it's not the night that is different, but the boy in front of you.

Sukuna pulls you along toward the exit while your heart beats so fast that you feel light-headed from it. This is the craziest thing you have ever done. It's exciting and scary, but you want it so badly. You want him so badly.

You stumble out of the club behind Sukuna, your hand in his, laughing, feeling so exhilarated, almost high, even though you didn't take any drugs. It's just the effect he has on you. He makes you feel so free, so invincible. As if this whole city belongs to you. As if he is laying it at your feet with the way he looks at you when he turns to grin at you.

"Let's go to your place, princess. Or do you want me to fuck you right here in the back alley?"

You shiver, not sure if all of it is from the chilly night air and the light rain coming down or also from the adrenaline buzzing in your veins. Sukuna's words make everything more real, and your head is spinning, but you refuse to let your fear win. You have never wanted anything so bad as you want this night with Sukuna.

Your face feels hot when you look up at him and tell him,

"We can go to my place."

You have to avert your eyes a split second later, too shy to keep looking into those smoldering maroon eyes after he announced he will fuck you.

Sukuna's low laugh fills the dingy back alley. He puts an arm around you and pulls you flush against his side as he leads you out of the dark back alley and into the glittering lights and the streets filled with a nameless crowd.

You have never done this before. Your mom always warned you about leaving with a stranger. But you feel like you will never forgive yourself if you let this chance pass.

And a little voice in the back of your mind whispers that maybe you won't even mind if Sukuna turns out to be a real monster. You want him to devour you. You are tired of always holding back, of always being the good girl, of always playing it safe. You want to let go for once. You want to experience all the things you have missed out on until now. Even if it means the monster will eat you alive.

And so you smile up at Sukuna as your heart thunders excitedly in your chest, and your small hands grab his tightly, telling him that you only live a few stops away from the club.

You sit on Sukuna's lap on the subway train, not caring about the other passengers, when Sukuna gives you nasty, open-mouthed French kisses that make you squirm needily on his muscular thighs. Your laugh comes out breathless, and you put a hand on his chest, clawing hungrily at his shirt, digging your nails impatiently into the defined muscles beneath it. You have never wanted any other boy in your bed this much.

You put your other hand on Sukuna's neck, fingers running over the short stubble of his undercut and into his soft pink hair, pulling firmly on it and pushing your body tightly against his, humming softly when your tits press against his pecs. This time, you are the one who claims his lips in another passionate kiss while Sukuna's low, amused laughter fills your senses.

Maybe what Sukuna shows you is that not only are you into monsters, but you are some kind of monster, too, driven by a dark desire, desperate and hungry for anything that Sukuna is willing to give you. Desperately craving his tongue in your mouth and his large, rough hands all over your skin. Craving his dick that's pressing hard against your thigh through his tight jeans.

He shoves you against the wall next to your front door, smirking against your lips while he kisses you deep and nasty while you try to find your key in your small handbag. Your heart hammers wildly in your chest when you slip inside the house, taking Sukuna's hand and tugging him along and up the staircase.

No going back.

He tears your clothes right off the moment you step into your apartment, making your pulse flutter when you are standing in front of him completely naked while he is still fully dressed, and his burning gaze trails hungrily over your naked tits and pussy.

He licks his lips, a lopsided grin lifting one corner of his lips as he looks deeply into your eyes,

"You look good enough to eat, baby."

It sends an intense longing through you, making you moan and press your thighs together. Thighs that get pushed apart a moment later by Sukuna's rough hands when he throws you onto your bed, exposing your embarrassingly wet pussy to his smug gaze.

You are in a daze, heart racing, moaning breathlessly when Sukuna buries his handsome face between your legs, kissing and licking your pussy hungrily, teasing you with his tongue piercing, and sucking on your swollen clit in a way that makes you sob and squeal and tug needily on his soft pink hair.

He is unrelenting, holding you down even when your hips buck wildly. Sukuna devours you. Kisses and licks and fucks your pussy with his mouth and his tongue, filling the room with obscene wet noises that make your cheeks burn. He makes you cum twice on his tongue before he lets go of you, smirking lazily at you as he straightens up and pulls his shirt over his head.

You lose your mind all over again when you watch him undress, revealing his broad chest and defined abs and even more tattoos. You moan when his large hands unbuckle his belt and push down his pants.

He puts your hand on his bulge, laughing when he hears your sharp intake of breath when you feel the heat of his hard cock through his boxer briefs.

"Don't be shy, princess. You can touch anywhere you want."

But his laugh turns into a sexy low groan when you rub your face against his abs, trailing kisses down his sharp v-line while your nails scratch his muscular thighs.

You find the courage to pull down his underwear and your mouth instantly wraps around his cock, sucking hungrily on his gorgeous swollen mushroom head. You moan around it, wondering why you find such bliss in feeling Sukuna's dick in your mouth.

You feel high, looking up at Sukuna's face as you suckle lovingly on his swollen tip. Your eyes meet Sukuna's, and it's the most intense eye contact you have ever had with anyone. He smirks down at you, one large hand wrapping around the back of your head, long fingers caressing your hair oh so lightly, making you shiver deliciously.

You suck his thick cock devotedly, holding eye contact, feeling your spit run down your chin and your arousal run down your thighs, basking in the soft groans coming from Sukuna's parted lips.

But he stays in control the whole time. Only lets you suck his cock for a short while, pulling you off it before you can make him cum, pushing you back down onto the bed, but this time he follows you and covers you with his tall, heavy body.

Sukuna is the monster in your bed, who knows how to touch you to turn you into the biggest mess. Deep, hungry kisses and dirty words whispered against your skin. Warm lips suckling on your sensitive nipples and calloused fingers caressing your throbbing clit.

And finally, his hot, thick cock glides teasingly slow between your pussy lips, massaging your clit in a way that makes you moan his name shakily. He fucks you open just around that gorgeous thick mushroom head. In and out. In and out. Giving you just a taste, driving you crazy.

Sukuna truly is a monster. Someone who doesn't just take you but makes you beg for it. Makes you so wild for him that you sob his name and look at him with big pleading wet eyes, abandoning all shyness, begging him to fuck you for real, begging him for his heavy cock. Begging him to fuck your brains out.

When he finally fucks you, it's like you entered a dark paradise. Sukuna fucks you rough and deep, so good that your eyes roll back. You have never been dicked down like that. No other cock has ever made you act this way. Turning you into such a horny mess. Uninhibited, unrestrained, squealing loudly while the headboard of your bed bangs against the wall in rhythm with Sukuna's deep strokes.

It's almost feral how he fucks you, how his hips snap against you, and his lips and teeth mark you up, his large hands restraining your wrists, his low grunts and moans in your ear. Savage. But he never loses control. His dick makes you cry, every thrust so precise, so calculated, making your legs shake and heat coil deep inside you.

It almost feels too good. Sukuna rolls his hips, and he hits that spot inside you that makes you splutter embarrassedly, squirming beneath his heavy body, ashamed of the way your body is reacting, but Sukuna doesn't let you go. He doesn't slow down. He doesn't stop making you feel so fucking good. He doesn't stop until you squirt all over his cock with a loud cry of his name.

And he watches you with a smug smirk playing around his lips. He pulls out after you stop clenching around him, but only to smack his heavy cock against your swollen clit, laughing at the nasty, wet sound of it.

"So messy. Sweet little thing got so excited for me, huh? How cute."

He drives you crazy, makes you lose your mind with everything he does. You're not even able to feel embarrassed anymore when Sukuna kneels over you with those strong muscular tattooed thighs on each side of your body, one hand wrapped around his enormous cock, stroking it with fast, long strokes, while his other hand pushes between your legs, rubbing your clit, spreading your wetness all over it, having you on the brink of another orgasm only seconds later, moaning and whimpering his name as you look up at him with heavy-lidded eyes.

And Sukuna smirks down at you, licking his lips as he moans and tells you to keep looking at him,

"Open your mouth for me, princess. And stick your tongue out like a good girl."

You follow his every command, lost in the rush of the pleasure he is giving you, already feeling the familiar tightening deep inside you again as Sukuna toys with your clit while he jacks off unashamedly over your face.

Two long fingers get shoved into your twitching pussy, right when a low guttural moan escapes Sukuna's lips, and his warm, sticky cum shoots down on you, nutting heavily all over your face and tits, thick and milky. And you cum so hard on his fingers that you almost black out, screaming your soul out.

He silences your screams with another savage kiss, leaning down to cover your much smaller body with his. Your bodies are sweaty and sticky from Sukuna's cum, but you still pull him closer, craving him, wrapping your arms around him and sighing when he rests his weight on you and presses you down into the bed.

His lips claim yours again, kissing you deeply. He tastes addictive, like maraschino cherries and smoke, and somehow you know you will search for this taste all of the rest of your life, in every other person you kiss, but you will never find it again.

Maybe that is the true monstrous thing about Sukuna. He is the best, and everyone else you meet will never even come close to what he gave you.

And tonight, Sukuna is yours, and you can get as much of him as you want. And so you keep kissing him, and touching him, and letting him push his hard cock into you again, letting him fuck you another round, over and over again.

He stays the whole night, blessing you with more kisses and more sex, fucks you from behind, and bounces you on his thick cock until you start crying from the bliss of it.

Finally, he rolls over, grinning lazily at you before he slumps down half on top of you, falling asleep and trapping you under his heavy body, his face buried in your neck and one large hand sprawled over your tits possessively.

He leaves your bed in the morning with your marks on him, deep scratches on his broad back, and dark red hickeys all over his tattooed neck. And you know when you walk past a mirror, you will find the testament of your night spent with Sukuna on your body, too.

But Sukuna's mark isn't just physical. It's much deeper, and you fear you will never get rid of it again. That boy is really a monster, and he consumed you whole.

KUNA, PLEASE BE THE MONSTER IN MY BED!! 😘😘

I hope you enjoyed your wild night with Sukuna!! Thank you so much for reading, and thank you so much to the person who sent me the ask about this song.

Comments and reblogs would be sweet 💗

#sukuna x reader #sukuna smut #sukuna x you #sukuna #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk x you #sukuna x y/n #jjk x y/n

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narcjsistx · 2 months ago

Text

— YOUNG TO BE DESTROYED, OLD TO BE SAVED

ও kaiser michael x fem!reader

ও warnings: small age gap between characters (reader 16 and kaiser 17) ; mention of domestic abuse ; mention of attempted suicide ; mention of teen pregnancy ; mention of burns caused by a fire ; mention of a sex scene. nothing is described in detail, but if you think you can't read it don't worry :) stay safe!!. the kaiser at the beginning of the story is the same as the one at the first meeting with ness, without tattoos, the story will also follow them as adults after

ও 𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ; take a look, trust me!

Sixteen is not the right age to start stealing to survive. If you have to steal to live, it is better to start when you are young, so that you never know the feeling of having a warm house with food always on the table. Starting at sixteen means overturning all the principles that until a minute before had been the pillars of your life, rules that your parents had taught you since your first breath. Stealing is wrong, but dying of hunger is more wrong. You don't have much choice when your parents refuse to look you in the face. Berlin has always been cold, since you were born you never felt the heat of the sun on your skin for more than a few hours. You love Germany but hate the city you live in, which you never had the chance to escape. The last time you tried it got you into this shitty situation you're in now, with the misery all around you

You look up, the light from the distant field lamps faintly illuminating the messy place that has been your new home for weeks now. The sound of the whistle echoes in your ears, as if the soccer field were just a few meters away from you and not at least one kilometer away. You hear the screams of the players, the curses, the laughter, everything that comes out of their mouths as if you were there with them and not lying on a mattress recovered from a bin. You observe their blurry silhouettes, the balls that whizz through the air, all as a silent spectator. They don't know you've been watching them for days, ever since you found this shelter while wandering. It would be weird to know that someone you don't know has been watching you for so long, watching your movements, the way you train and joke with your teammates. Hell, it would be scary for you too to know that they're staring at you from afar. But watching them is the only human contact, if you can call it that, you have with civilization. It seems like the whole world has turned its back on you, but you're not completely homeless. You are, yes. But you get a shower every day thanks to the same players who leave the locker room door open

You've learned some of the names of the players, at least the ones who are most often praised or accused. You still can't tell the difference from their tone of voice. The most called is a certain Grimm, who does nothing but make assists that then take him to the net without a striker who can score. Another who is called often is a certain Alexis, who however seems more useful than the other. You didn't know the rules of soccer, but since you camped here you're suddenly an expert

Your father had shown you some soccer games when you were younger. He didn't like sports, but watching his national team play in anything important was a kind of pride for him, even though he had been beaten up as a child by some kids who were now part of the team. He told this story with a pride that often made you doubt his sanity. When moments like that happened, the house became even quieter than it already was, with you crushed on the couch between the bodies of your parents. The smell of cigars filled the air and the only acceptable noise was that of the television. You didn't enjoy watching the games, but as long as you had the opportunity to go to bed an hour and a half later than usual, you were fine with it. It was kinda a transgression, but you were proud of it

Your father was not a big fan of Bastard Munchen, one of the most exclusive sports clubs in the entire country, if not the most important. Yet for days now you found yourself staring at them, the club's players and their cannon shots on net. This too was a transgression, probably the second most important in your entire life after the suicide mission that was supposed to lead you to run away from home. More than once you had approached the campus, going past the fences less than two meters high. The locker rooms were attached to the fields, you didn't have to go over the fence to enter and use the showers, but curiosity had pushed you to wander a bit through the team's territories. The dormitories were south of the field, the cafeteria connected to them and you counted at least ten fields from the bit you had managed to explore, when no one was around or the team was away for some match. Security was not doing its job as it should have done to protect future German prodigies, and so sneaking into the camp to steal something from the mess bins was quite easy

You didn't go every day, that would have been too dangerous, but every time you went you made sure to take at least a week's worth of supplies. Sometimes the food ran out early, sometimes you didn't get past the fence for two weeks. But now, with your stomach empty for two days, you think it's time to go. You should have done it a few days ago, but due to some stomach pains you couldn't. This had delayed the arrival of the new food and consequently you were on an empty stomach. You have to wait for their workout to finish and maybe go after dinner time, hoping to find something that can ease the pain. They usually never eat much, lucky for you

You wait for the right moment before starting to walk, a ruined sweatshirt that protects you from the cold of the night. You go beyond the fence and hide in the half-light that the dumpsters give you, waiting patiently for the time when you know the maids will throw out the garbage bags. You hear the voices of the women and the players through the open windows, and the familiarity with which everyone seems to be in the canteen environment doesn't particularly affect you. You've never had the chance to experience something like this, a normal dinner with your parents or the simple pleasure of staying home to rest, so you don't know this feeling that was so described in the books you were forced to read. It should be reassuring, but the only reassuring thing you've ever had in your life was a caress years ago that a woman at the supermarket gave you, mistaking you for her niece, who was accidentally next to you

It's cold, but the sweatshirt seems to warm you a little as you rest your chin on your knees, warming your hands with the little warm breath you manage to create. Your stomach is hurting like hell, but the hope of being able to put something under your teeth pushes you to resist, even if the maids are delaying their usual time to put out the garbage bags. You haven't known what time it is for several weeks now, but it's probably well past midnight already and the garbage bags are not yet in the drawers, while you feel like dying. You tremble, trying to make as little noise as possible, because you know that if they discovered you they would call the police. The police have never helped you, and they wouldn't if they found out you were doing something like this. The only solution is to wait and hope you don't die here tonight, even if under current conditions it would be possible. It will probably happen, sooner or later, but you want to hope that later is as far away as possible. You're still too young to go away like this

As you close your eyes, you hear the sound of metal doors slamming. You hear the chatter of women throwing out garbage bags, filling the dumpsters that slam into your face. Blood starts to drip from your nose, but that's not the main problem when the smell of burning meat finally reaches your nostrils. You struggle to wait for the women to come back inside, but as soon as they disappear behind the door, you rush to the dirty bags to open it as if it contained the most beautiful Christmas present in the world. You voraciously start throwing pieces of meat into your mouth, also taking some tomatoes and some yogurt sauce that is stuck to some bitten bread. From the emotion small tears form at the edge of your eyes, but you can't help but let them out as you fill your stomach after days of panic. This is the first time this has happened to you since you became homeless, but it feels so good to finally have a full stomach again

"A dog? A stray dog?"

You freeze when you hear a male voice outside the dumpster. The food gets stuck in your throat, while your agitation starts pumping through your veins again. You tremble uncontrollably, almost unconsciously, as you turn your head towards the presumed voice. There is definitely someone here, and it is a man. You hear footsteps approaching the dumpster you are locked in, and in a last ditch attempt to save your skin you hide under the bags, at the bottom of the metal container. The stench burns your lungs, but you hold your breath while you trying to move as less as possible. If they catch you now, it's over. This is definitely trespassing, and it's punishable by jail time. In prison they would kill you for your weakness, or probably use your body only for personal purposes. Both options would kill you anyway, and you still have so many things to do before you leave this world

A hand slips through the garbage, feeling the bags covering your stomach. You hold your breath, even when the hand accidentally lands on your breast, squeezing it. You feel the hand disappear above the surface, then grab the bags that cover you. You remain paralyzed when not even a bag has the possibility of covering you, thus marking the end of your hiding scene. You no longer feel air in your lungs due to the anxiety of having been discovered, and you look up where the dumpster has its opening: a pale face, vaguely illuminated by the street lamps, appears in front of your vision. You notice a young man, with blond hair and a light red eyeliner, with eyes too blue to be human. Some of his long, messy hair falls onto your face, pinching your face, which is stained with something wet from the garbage. His eyes are a little surprised when he notices you, but he doesn't seem that surprised either. He raises an eyebrow, grabbing his hair and putting it behind his shoulders "What the fuck are you doing here?"

You don't know how to respond, the words that don't want to come out of your mouth and create a remotely convincing excuse. You stammer something, but that only seems to annoy him, as he looks at you questioningly "Are you a woman? I assume... oh. I touched your breasts, earlier. While you were hiding" he says maybe a little guilty, but you wouldn't be able to tell from his confident tone of voice "I thought you were a damn stray dog. Even though it smells the same" he says chuckling, but you don't share his irony while you're still figuring out if he'll call the police or not. He seems to notice your silence, taking your arm to at least make you sit up "I was joking, don't take it personally. Not that I care about your perfume, I don't know you" he says shrugging. He then seems to remember something "Get out of the way. I have to check if they threw away something I need" he says, pushing you aside, picking up a bag and placing it on the floor, disappearing from your view. His attention shifts completely to the object, as he opens it and throws out the waste, swearing something under his breath in a thick Berlin accent

You get down on your knees, resting your hands on the edge of the dumpster as you watch him, still scared "You… you’re not going to call the police?" you ask, stammering, but he huffs, not even turning around "I don’t care. You can just walk away" he says throwing the garbage around him, but suddenly he turns, looking at you in the face "Indeed. Come here, if you don't want me to call it. You have to help me find something" he says smiling victoriously, and you stand up, following his order. He seems satisfied when he sees you at his side "You have to look for the drawing of a blue rose with thorns along the arm. Like... a tattoo sketch" he says looking, and you remain a little perplexed, but you nod. In the middle of the night you start looking for this sketch, an almost holy silence that holds between you. You search without asking questions, without attracting more attention than you already have. You drop your conditions to help this stranger who seems to be able to give you freedom, if you help him. With shaking hands you search for at least ten minutes, until you turn around noticing that he hasn't been searching for a while now, more interested in studying you "How young are you?" he asks bluntly. You press your lips together, moving your gaze back to the envelope, still searching for "Sixteen" you say a little uneasily, but he nods "I'm seventeen" he says confidently

You think the conversation is over, but less than ten minutes later, you feel his eyes burning on you again "Why were you here? I won’t call the police. But answer me" he asks, and you feel a little uncomfortable answering without sounding like a criminal. You think about it a bit before telling the truth, lying to him would make him angry and he might change his mind "I needed food. Opening the bags and eating the scraps was the only option" you say a little embarrassed by your own words, but your words don't seem to surprise him "I understand"

After almost half an hour of searching, a small ketchup-stained piece of paper pops out of the mass. You grab the sketch, handing it to him "Is this?" you ask uncertainly, and he smiles at it "It's this" he says taking it, looking at it proudly. You stand up from the ground as he seems too happy to pay attention to you. You clasp your hands behind your back, looking down. Thanking him would be better, showing respect is always appreciated "Thank you... thank you for not calling the police. I will never come back here again" you say promising something completely false. He looks up, getting back on his feet. Only now do you notice the difference in height between you. He nods, chuckling to himself "At least make promises you know you can keep" he says, but you have already run away behind the fence

Running back to your shelter, you can't help but think that luck has saved you. If he had called the police, you would probably be in a cell in any police station by now, awaiting legal proceedings. Yet you found someone whose only interest was himself and his desperate need to find that drawing. It was probably a staff member or a player, but you're not sure about either possibility. It's enough to know that for tonight you're still alive and with a full stomach. You have taken less food though, which you will probably finish earlier than expected due to your stomach pain. Your return there will be much closer than you want, but as long as you live you're happy. You curl up on the mattress, still chewing a piece of bread. You fall asleep sooner than expected, still thinking about today's luck. When you wake up you notice with regret that it snowed during the night, and that your sweatshirt is completely wet because of the loose flakes on your body

You stand up from your hiding place, looking out at the distant campus now completely covered in snow. You're cold, but your sweatshirt was the only long-sleeved thing you had left. You go back to the hideout, taking off your now completely soaked sweatshirt, remaining in your bra. You light a small fire with some paper, closing the exit of the hideout with the mattress turned over. You pull your legs to your chest to save heat, but the shivers don't seem to go away even as you're about to fall asleep again. The last thing you see before you fall asleep is the calm flame of the fire in front of you. The first thing you see when you wake up is the shelter completely in flames. You wake up because of too much heat on your body, especially concentrated along your left leg, finding yourself surrounded by flames. You regain alertness almost immediately, looking around for an escape route while your heart risks coming out of your rib cage, and the only option seems to be the exit which however is still partially blocked by the burning mattress. You tremble looking for a solution, and the only option seems to be to move the mattress with your bare hands. You take a generous dose of snow that you put on your hands before grabbing the edges of the object to move it

The pain of the flames immediately reaches your hands. You scream in despair, feeling your whole body burning, but you don't let go. You try to move the mattress and only succeed after a few attempts, not daring to look at your hands that you can no longer feel because of the pain. When you finally move the mattress you fall to the ground, onto the cold snow. The cold hits your bare, burned skin, causing a sensation you would compare to the hell your mother said she feared. If this isn't dying, you don't know what is. With your knees planted in the snow you look down just to take a look at the state of your hands, but you are disgusted to see only burned and bloody skin. Looking down you also notice a large burn on your left leg, the same one where the heat was concentrated. You try to calm yourself down with deep sighs, but all you really do is scream at the top of your lungs in pain. You cry as you look at the burns, barely walking away from the shelter that is now completely destroyed. The cold is killing you as is the pain, giving you a headache so bad that you pass out a few meters away from the fence of the Bastard Munchen campus

The last thing you see, blurry, before passing out, are the soccer players training on a nearby field. You're afraid of dying, either from the cold or the pain. Maybe yesterday's luck was just a last favor. Maybe dying young is the only solution, if the pain will stop. You breathe loudly, but your eyes close

The first thing you see when you wake up is snow. You move slightly, brushing away the snow that has fallen on you. You don't know how much time has passed, if even a day, but the sun is setting. You sit up, your head is pounding and a bad general discomfort throughout your body, but the pain has disappeared in all places except those where there are burns. You look at your hands and leg, where scabs now cover the skin: you shiver at the sight of them, but you are alive. Your body is completely frozen and you're still in your bra and pants, but you're alive. You try to stand up, but you fall almost immediately; you try again until you can stand up with some difficulty, but strong enough to walk a few meters. You look at the nearby fence, and turn towards the shelter: now only a pile of black ash covers that area. You almost want to cry, but you're so dehydrated that you don't even have any body water to use. You look around, seeing how the showers aren't that far away: you walk towards them and when you notice that no one is inside, you close the door behind you heavily. You let yourself fall along the metal of the door, feeling the heat of the showers, probably recently used, finally warm you up

You find yourself sitting on the floor, your body warm and your burns a little painful from the sudden heat. You shiver as you stand up, walking towards the showers to turn them on and drink, even though you don't know if your hands still work. You limp to the shower hallway, but are frozen when you find the same blond boy at the end. He turns instinctively when you let out a gasp, and you look into each other's eyes: he seems surprised to see you here, while you're just scared to see him. You remain silent, and only then you realize that he is naked except for a towel covering his lower waist. He seems to notice your eyes moving, but it doesn't seem to bother him "Aren't you cold like this?" he asks casually, but you shiver as you don't know whether to go out and run away or stay here. He raises an eyebrow at your silence, taking a few steps forward while you take a few steps back. Your back hits the wall, and his fingers find their way to your chin, grabbing it to look up at you. You close your eyes, opening them only when you don't notice any annoying hands on your body: you find only his blue eyes staring at you, studying you

"You smell like something's burning" he says, looking you up and down, then focusing on your hands, which he grabs. He deliberately presses his fingers against the scabs, making you scream in pain. He does it again, and you notice a small smile on his face "You have a low pain threshold. You wouldn't resist a tattoo under your eyes" he says proudly, and from your teary eyes you can tell that the red eyeliner he has is actually a tattoo. He chuckles at your confusion, letting go of your hands but not moving away from you "You’re here again, you know it’s forbidden to enter a sports campus? Or did you want help?" he asks, smirking. You avoid his gaze, stammering something "I know it’s forbidden… but… I…" you say, confused, but he shakes his head "It’s okay. I like stray dogs" he says reassuringly, and even though the comparison he just made between you and such dirty animals bothers you, you remain silent. Your silence seems to amuse him, to the point of patting you on the head "Do you want something? I can give it to you, I won't call the police. If you want to take a shower, go ahead, I'll wait here" he says walking away, sitting on the bench in the locker room. You look at him a little perplexed, but you run towards the showers and lock yourself in one, turning on the water. As you wash yourself quickly you hear him humming, and this makes you a little nervous "Are you sure... are you sure you won't call the police?" you ask, rubbing soap on the scabs, which make you grimace in pain "I don't feel like it. I don't particularly like cops" he says, and you breathe a sigh of relief "You don't even like them, do you?" he asks, and you sigh "No..." you say while washing yourself, and your answer amuses him "We have already found something in common between us" he says, and you remain silent again

"I left you a shirt behind the shower door" the boy says, and after drying yourself off, you put on your bra, your panties from before, and the shirt that turns out to be your team's. It's big on you, and when the boy pops up near the showers to look at you, he nods in satisfaction "It's a little long, but I think it's better than the way you were before. You're hungry, too, I guess. And those nasty burns need some dressing" he says, looking at you, and you don't know how to reply "Wait here" he says, leaving the locker room before putting on a sweatshirt. You hadn't noticed him, but he seems to have dressed while you were cleaning yourself. You haven't looked at him much, but he seems to have a very trained and toned physique for a simple member of the staff, he's definitely a player. You could run away now that you're finally alone again, but this undue kindness from a stranger is making you soft. He probably doesn't want to bother you, otherwise he would have done it already. But you're not used to kindness, especially if you haven't done anything for him, besides helping one time

He returns shortly after, with a container with meat and a bottle of disinfectant. He bends over next to you, while you have sat on the floor near the sinks. He passes you the container, which you open with difficulty because of the burns, while he soaks some bath paper with disinfectant. You bite the meat, and let him take your hand that he soaks with the liquid "Shit!" you scream in pain, but he doesn't stop, almost making you cry. He continues for a while before wrapping your hand with bandages, doing the same thing for the other hand and leg "It should ease the pain a little. I don't know honestly, but they do that with the injuries we inflict on ourselves on the field" he says resting his head against his palm, and you look up from your meal just to stare at him for a few seconds "Thank you" you whisper, but he shakes his head "This time a thank you is not enough. I want to know your name" he says, and you answer even though you don't want to "My name is Y/n. Can I know yours?" you say, and he smirks "Michael. Kaiser Michael" he says putting his palm in front of you, but you look at him and a small smile forms on your lips. He seems to understand that because of the burns you can't shake his hand, but it doesn't seem to bother him "My mistake" he says, and you chuckle "Don't worry"

The two of you sit in silence, next to each other. You look at your bandaged hands and wonder why he’s been so nice to you. His blonde hair hides his face from your view, so you can’t see if he’s thoughtful or calm, but you assume he’s okay with not talking. He turns his head slightly toward you, tilting his head "Do you have a home?" he asks "No" you answer without regret, and he looks even more amused "So you’re homeless. Why did you run away? Didn’t mom and dad give you enough sugar?" he asks, laughing, but you look down, remaining silent "I touched a sore spot. Nice" he says, but you turn away "It's not a sore point. I... I just don't want to talk about it" you say shakily, and he nods "Okay, stray dog" he says, but you glare at him "I don't like that nickname" you say pouting, but he shrugs "I like it. Make up one that bothers me, so it's fair on both sides" he says, and even though he doesn't want to stop calling you that, you're interested in how to resolve it "Umh... dog... Berlin dog" you say, but he bursts out laughing "Calling me a 'Berlin dog' when my favorite animals are dogs and I'm from Berlin is not a very smart move on your part" he says, and you prick up your ears "Are you originally from here too?" you ask, and he nods "Since birth" he says, and you seem more interested in the discussion "Which area?" you ask but his mood changes slightly, less funny "I don't remember. I haven't been home in a long time, I'm basically always on campus" he says, but you look at him puzzled "You don't remember the area where you lived for years? I have to call you 'stupid dog', then" you say, and his mood seems to return "I can accept this" he says, again amused. Things seem a little less awkward now that you’ve finally joked around and talked a bit. Michael stands up, offering you a hand "Do you want to sleep here for the night or do you have a shelter to go back to?" he asks, and only now do you remember what happened to your shelter. You purse your lips, standing up on your own "Umh… if it’s okay I can sleep here" you say, and he nods "Don’t worry, the campus is completely player-controlled after 10pm. We can bring whoever we want into the rooms" he says, and you look at him in surprise "You didn’t mean here in the locker room?" you ask, and he seems amused by your stupidity "Of course not. If you have to stay, at least use the comfort services. I don’t know how long you’ve been homeless, but I bet you miss sleeping in a warm bed" he says

You haven't slept in a real bed in far too long, and if he gives you the assurance that the surveillance won't tell you anything, you can accept it. You nod, taking a step forward "Okay... thanks" you say, and he leaves the locker room as he begins to walk towards the dorms. The two of you remain silent, until he reaches the entrance "You still haven't told me how you got those burns" he asks, and you cross your arms "Fire" you say, and he seems to accept it. You enter the dorms, where you can hear people chatting and laughing through the doors, much like they do during the training sessions you've been watching so much. You enter his room, where you find a boy sitting on one of the two beds in the room "Oi, Ness. We have guests" the boy says closing the door behind him, letting you in. A boy with brown and magenta hair looks up from his book, watching you curiously but not with a perverse look "Hello. Do you know her?" he asks straight to Kaiser, and he nods "Kinda. She'll be sleeping here tonight" he says disappearing into the kitchen of the room, returning with a pair of round glasses that he puts on "This is Alexis Ness. He is my roommate and teammate. Don't worry about him, he's a good guy as long as you don't insult me in front of his eyes" he says, and even though Kaiser's description reduces the boy to a loyal dog, he doesn't seem to mind too much "My pleasure" he says, and you shake your hand with a nervous smile. You realize now that Alexis is a name you've heard before, and that makes you curious "You both play for the Bastard?" you ask, and Kaiser sits on his bed "On the pre-adult team, at least until we both turn 18. But yeah" he says, and this makes you curious "Which roles?" you ask, and Ness rubs the back of his neck "He's a striker, I'm his midfielder" he says, and you nod "Cool"

A few hours later, with another meal in your stomach and a generous helping of water, it’s time to go to sleep. You’re left in Kaiser’s shirt, and he signals you to lie down next to him. Normally you’d refuse, but you have plenty of reasons to accept: you’re sleepy, you miss having a bed to sleep in, Michael is kind, and you really don’t have the right to refuse. You take a few steps forward, lying down next to him with your body pressed against his, while Ness is already asleep in his bed. You both remain silent, but you know he isn't sleeping even though his eyes are closed "Weren't you sleepy until just now?" you whisper, and he opens one eye "I can say the same thing about you. I'm not sleeping because I'm used to having more space in my bed" you say, and you look at the ceiling "I can go sleep in the showers or on the floor, you know" you say, but he shakes his head "It wouldn't be polite of me to let a young lady sleep on a dirty floor" you say, and you stifle a laugh "Young lady?" you ask, and he nods "You're one year younger than me" he says, and you realize it's true "Oh, I told you the first time we met" you say, and he nods "When you looked for the sketch in the garbage" he says, and you think about it "But why do you need that drawing, in the end?" you ask curiously, and he smiles "That's the next tattoo I want to get. When I turn eighteen... the first one I got was done illegally. I want the two roses on my neck, the thorns along my arm and the crown on my hand" he says, and you're shocked "That would be really cool. But why do you want to do that, any particular reason?" you ask, and he smirks "I've known you too little time to tell you. Become my trusted slave first and I'll think about it later" you say, and you giggle "Really funny, hope so Micheal. But at least, can I know when you'll be eighteen?"

"Christmas day" he says, and you choke on your own spit. Kaiser looks at you puzzled, making you sit down on the warm mattress "Does Christmas disgust you that much?" he asks ironically, but you shake your head "I was born on December 25th too" you say, and this time it's you who sees him completely surprised, even his frown is replaced by a little smile "This is unexpected. Another thing that unites us, then"

You spend the rest of the night joking around, trying not to wake Ness: he tells you about the team, about his role as a striker, about how he's been living in the Bastard Munchen dorms for at least a year, and you tell him about your burning hideout. Before you know it, it's dawn. You stay in bed, while Kaiser gets up to go to the bathroom, Ness who has just woken up. You watch the two boys in silence, watching them wander around their small apartment undisturbed, as if you were not there and could not see their bare and toned chests as they put on their sports uniforms for their morning workout. This is also a transgression, your parents would go against everything you have done in the last 24 hours. But for the first time ever, you are having fun with someone who is actually quite simple. With Ness already gone to breakfast and Kaiser still in the room, the boy approaches his bed, sitting on the edge "You can sleep, we don't have room service unfortunately for us. If you're hungry eat, make yourself at home. I should be back by lunchtime" he says, and you nod with half your face covered by the blanket. He chuckles at the scene, walking out of the room and leaving you completely alone. You spend the morning sleeping, eating a bad brand yogurt and watching the boys team up out the window: Kaiser stands out among the members, with his fast movements always followed by Ness. He scored without showing too much effort, demonstrating a resistance to the duration of the training that honestly surprised you for such a young boy

At lunch time the door opens, and Ness comes in leaving you a tray full of food "Kaiser couldn't come. I hope you like our canteen" the boy says, and you can't help but show your disappointment at the lack of the blond boy. You take the food and eat alone, staying like that until dinner time when the door opens again, this time with Kaiser carrying the tray. You get up from the boy's bed, walking towards him "You said you'd be back at lunch time!" you say taking the tray, but he sighs amused "My mistake, miss. I had to check something. Let's have dinner together, shall we?" he says, taking a bowl of soup. You don't ask yourself many questions, taking the soup and starting to eat. Kaiser tells you about his workout, as if you hadn't been watching him from the window of the room all day. He dresses your wounds again and gives you a taste of a dessert that the campus cafeteria gave to the players this morning, after the breakfast. Before Ness goes back to the shared room, you're both back in bed, almost asleep

For the next month, you find yourself spending your days like this. You rarely leave your room, walking the dorm hallways late at night with Kaiser. You’ve occasionally come out of the fence, but you don’t like walking near the pile of ash that the fire has destroyed. You try to stay as far away from the black on the snow, which even after weeks has not disappeared. Your stomach hurts when you think about it, but the uneasy feeling goes away when Kaiser is next to you. Some players have noticed your presence on campus, but no one dares to tell the directors: Michael said that you are a childhood friend of his, and that you only occasionally sleep in his room. You don't think that the other players want to talk behind his back, once he happened to tell you about how he beat up one of them when he first arrived at Bastard Munchen for a relatively stupid reason. You spend your evenings in bed with him, playing board games, reading Ness's books, or watching the TV he had installed in the kitchen just for you. He tells you about amazing things like special training sessions, the times he took planes, or what it's like in foreign countries like England, Italy, and France. He tells you so many interesting things that you almost feel guilty for being able to tell him only about your strange experiences as a homeless person. You haven't told him about your past, about who you were before you were a tramp, just as he hasn't told you anything about Michael Kaiser before Bastard Munchen called him. You never talk about topics from the past just because you don't want to run the risk of having to talk about them: it's a limit that you've put on yourselves without telling each other, a barrier that still can't be overcome even after all this time of synchronicity. You're not big fans of physical contact, you see how he often reject even Ness's high fives. But when you're alone in the room, in silence, his arms almost spontaneously find space around your waist, while you're lying on the bed with his face in the crook of your neck. Without speaking to him you stroke his hair, and you feel at peace with the whole world but above all in perfect connection with the boy who apparently saved you from humiliation. Often you don't need words to communicate, often you just need to look into each other's eyes and read the soft and real meaning you mean

Despite being locked up most of your time inside four walls, you have never felt freer than this: free to eat what you want, to talk to whoever you want, to hug whoever you want, to be faithful to whoever you want. In sixteen years, you have never had so many possibilities. Now that you have it, for the first time you feel like a normal teenager and not an idealized perfect model who tried to kill herself. You're grateful your parents kicked you out of their house if it resulted in you meeting your savior, that in less than a month he will finally be able to get the tattoo he so desires. While you wait, you try to be as faithful to him as possible: you eat the food that only he brings you, you wear only his shirts, you keep your hair loose just because he once mentioned that he thought you looked good with your hair like that. They are small gestures that want to show him how much you owe him, even if you can't repay him properly. But you will, one day, you absolutely will

It's Christmas Eve when you hear Kaiser knocking on the door. You run to open it, noticing the tray full of chicken soup "It's so much" you say, letting him in, and he nods, placing the tray on the coffee table between the two beds. You go to his side, first grabbing some spoons from the kitchen "Ness? Dinner with the players?" you ask, and he nods "He'll probably be back after midnight. He said he wanted to go to some kinda party they're throwing in the main room. Usual shit" he says, starting to eat, but you tilt your head "You're not going?" you ask, and he turns around, raising an eyebrow "Why should I?" he asks questioningly, and you put your elbows on the table, stirring the soup "You're part of the team, you should. It's a party" you say, even if you never had a concrete definition of a youth party, accustomed to elegant balls "You're here, why should I go?" he says, and for the first time, his words have an effect on you. You smile like an idiot, choking on your soup. Kaiser grabs a handkerchief, rolling his eyes in amusement as he wipes your mouth "You’re acting like a dog. You’re going back to your old ways, like a stray dog again" he says teasing you, and you take the handkerchief to clean yourself "I'm not a stray dog. Not anymore" you say defending yourself, but he snorts amused "You're not anymore, I know. Thanks to me. I tamed you"

The handkerchief remains against your mouth, but his words seem to enter your head like missiles. Involuntarily, you let yourself go into the care of another person as soon as you had the chance to do so. Even if by running away, or trying, you had promised yourself not to do it again, now the situation is as before. Kaiser is kind, though. Kaiser does not force you to drink your own saliva when you spit out the bitterness of the poison. Kaiser does not force you to remain with a bloody face for days just because the blood makes them happy. Kaiser doesn't make you sleep naked when it's cold just because you talked back to your mother. Is it really that bad to be tamed by your savior, in this case?

"You don’t like soup?" he asks with a raised eyebrow, and you snap back to reality. You shake your head, pushing the handkerchief aside and smiling sheepishly at him "No, no. It’s good. I was just thinking about… have you booked your tattoo appointment yet?" you ask, making up an excuse, and he seems to believe it "Tomorrow morning. I had to pay triple the price to book an appointment on Christmas Day, but I know it’s worth it" he says proudly, and you agree with him "It definitely will be. You'll finally have what you want" you say, placing your face in the palm of your hand, but he shakes his head "Just a part. The rest I want I can't get yet, but that will come too. Also, I added a small modification to the tattoo, but nothing too big" he says, and you connect his words to his desire to be the best striker in the world "Really?" you ask, and he nods "Exactly. But it's so small that I don't want you to see it, I'll show it to you directly tomorrow" you say, and you nod

A few hours later you find yourself on his bed, his arms around your waist tighter than usual and his face more hidden in the crook of your neck. You caress him trying to stay awake to wish him a happy birthday, even though you know it's yours too. But he's your savior, and it's the first one you've spent together, in each other's arms. You can ignore yourself for this year. Before the alarm can ring, you're already squeezing his hand. "Happy birthday, Michael" you whisper, and he looks up only to meet your eyes. He smiles tiredly, resting his face on your chest"Thank you. You too, Y/n" he says, and you almost get emotional in front of his enormous kindness of having even remembered the right date. You smile at him kissing his forehead, but only afterwards do you realize that you went a bit too far. You pull your head back embarrassed, but he tilts his, probably amused and tired from the little nap he had taken on you "If only this was your gift, I'm totally fine with it. But I would have preferred the kiss lower down" he says in a low voice, and it gives you the shivers. You press your lips together not knowing how to respond, but he seems to want to tease you a bit "I have to give you the gift, mh?" he says

Involuntarily or perhaps not, your eyes fall on his lips as his on yours. The caresses become slower and the grip on your waist more possessive. His face slowly approaches, and this time you don't take steps back like your second meeting in the locker room, this time you are the one closing the distance, letting your plump lips end up on his. You both remain still for the first few seconds, but he is the first to reply, pushing them more voraciously towards yours. Instinctively you tighten your arms around his neck, enjoying the sensation of a kiss you have always dreamed of but never received. It is your savior who gives it to you, that's why it tastes so sweet. Kaiser gets on top of you, kissing the edges of your lips, and when you pull away you can't help but laugh both of you. This time it wasn't words that were needed between you, but gestures, and you like this new way of communicating, if it makes you so happy. Michael just leans down to rest his forehead against yours, and you both close your eyes "Give me one more year, just hold on one more year. After that we could be anything you want" he whispers against your lips, and you nod, you would do it even if they were insults if they came from his mouth. He kisses, you kiss him, this all night until your lips hurt. When you fall asleep, a trickle of saliva still connects you, but the trickle and his body are not there when you wake up

Ness wakes you up and shakes you, while you are still in the world of dreams "Get in the closet, run. The directors are checking the rooms, some players brought drugs into the party last night... some went to the hospital" says the boy lifting you up, and before you can even reply, you are locked in the closet. Waking up you realize the gravity of the situation, and a hole in your stomach starts to eat you slowly, understanding that if they find you it's over. Kaiser wasn't next to you, is he still on campus or has he already gone to get his tattoo? You need him, you're dying of anxiety and he's the only one who can defend himself in case the directors find out about you. You need the kisses he gave you last night again, the reassuring way he made you feel even if you weren't anxious. You need your Michael. You think this, but you hear Ness opening the door and the footsteps of at least three people in the room. You hug your legs to your chest, holding your breath as you watch them wander around the room through the crack, checking their clothes or the kitchen. You don't see Ness, you don't know if they've thrown him out for inspection. You try to think clearly, but when the closet door reveals your hidden figure, the world falls apart

"And you? I don't think the team has any female players. Miss, I kindly ask you to follow us" a man says, grabbing your arm and throwing you out of the closet, making you fall to the floor where all the other directors are watching. As you are dragged out of the room you hear Ness talking to the directors, but they tell him to go back to his room or risk having his contract annulled. Like a humiliated puppet, the directors drag you to the main office of the campus, dragging you as if you were unable to walk independently. You cry silently without realizing it, but this does not stop them from locking you in the room with them, starting to write a report of the discovery "Miss, your name? Where do you live? Why were you in the room? Do you have any contact with Alexis Ness or Michael Kaiser? Do you know it is illegal?" they ask, but you, sitting on the plastic chair, cannot even compose a complete sentence, trembling and with a probable attack of mutism. You look around confused, biting your nails in nervousness. This doesn't seem to stop them from asking you more questions, but after what seems like an eternity but was probably less than an hour and a half, the door is opened by someone else

You turn around, and Kaiser appears in the room. He closes the door behind him, walking straight to the director’s desk, slamming his hands on the wood "Is that a fucking way to treat a young lady, dragging her across the campus without even giving her a chance to explain?" Michael barks, and you look at him like he’s given you a drink after walking across the Sahara. The director swallows a lump of saliva, avoiding the direct gaze "She had a chance to sp-" he excuses himself, but Kaiser slams his fist on the wood "Are you kidding me? The players made videos of her being dragged" he says, continuing "If they make videos of you doing something like that, you'll be prosecuted right away. I'll make up some other bullshit to defend her and you will end up in prison" he says, and the director looks up "Are you kidding? Why would you?" he asks anxiously, and he laughs "Because then you'd lose me too, and your fortune with the campus. And that chance of us having Noel Noa train us? Nuh nuh, no way" he says, and the director clenched his fingers into fists "I... I won't do anything to her. But she has to get off the campus, it's against the rules" he says, but he shakes his head "If she gets off campus, I'll get off with her. But off the team. I'm going to ReAl" he says, and the director stands up "Don't you dare threaten me, Kaiser!" he shouts, but Micheal remains calm "I didn't say anything too absurd. It's your decision" he says crossing his arms

In your eyes now Kaiser is like water: necessary, destructive, perfect. He lets himself go without fear of breaking something, and he's doing it for you, for the same girl he kissed last night as if his life depended on it. The freshly inked tattoo flexes against his skin stiff from punching the desk, but that only gives it an even more suggestive look of perfectionThe blue roses, the thorns, the crown: finally everything he ever wanted is engraved on his body. It's damn beautiful, he is. You are proud to be faithful to him and only him, to be tamed by this very human being

"She can stay, she can do it, damn it, okay?" he says, reaching the limit, and Kaiser raises an eyebrow "And?" he asks, and the director glares at him, but lowers his gaze "And have dinner, lunch, do whatever she wants" he says exhausted, and he nods. He nods at you, the first since he came in, and takes your hand as he leads you out of the room. You don’t talk along the corridor, but in the open air you stop. Kaiser turns, not letting go of your hand "Does something hurt?" he asks, and you shake your head "Why did you do that?" you ask through tight lips. It’s cold, your breath condenses as it leaves your lips. Kaiser looks at you surprised by your question, taking a few steps back "Why wouldn’t I have done that?" he asks, and you want to answer him but you can’t find the right words. He remains silent, and only when he notices that you’re not angry, he comes closer, closing you in a hug. His hands rest on your waist, while you press your face against his chest "I want you to stay with me. I want you by my side, at least until you turn 18 and I can buy you an apartment of your own. I want you here" he whispers to you, and you feel the blood rushing through your veins again. You let out a loud sigh, looking up. "I want it too. But I don’t want you to have to change something in your life just for me" you say, and he chuckles at your words "But I’m okay with it. I’m okay with it if I do it for you" he says cupping your face, placing a light kiss on your lips "This is the last one. I want to give you the next one as a present for your eighteenth birthday" he says, and you frown, saddened by his statement but okay "Also" he says, moving away from you and lifting the sleeve of his shirt to better show the part of the tattoo with the thorns "I didn't show you the tattoo or the modification. But you can look for it" he says, bringing his arm closer to your face. Questioningly you take his arm in your hands, examining the complicated tangle of thorns that now surround his arm. On the thorns, in a point parallel to his heart, you find a small writing. You take a few steps back, looking up at him who is already looking at you smiling "Happy birthday" he whispers to you, sweetly

In a handwriting similar to yours, the name 'Y/n' stands out among the thorns. You open your mouth in shock, not believing it "You can’t really have done that" you stammer insecurely, but he runs a finger over the tattoo "It’s permanent. It’s there and it’ll never come off"

"Stop doing things for me when I can't repay you" you say with tears in your eyes, still emotional. He shakes his head, taking your hands and kissing your knuckles "Repay me by continuing to be just the way you are. Devoted" he says, and you can swear that right now you feel in love with him. In love with Michael Kaiser. In love with your savior, your God, your only rock. It's not just pleasure, it's love and only love

Almost two months after that Christmas, you find yourself sitting on the benches of the soccer field for practice. Kaiser chases the ball, his hair now also blue that flutters in the cold wind of mid february. It is a change in his appearance that he has made recently, and yet you have already gotten used to the idea of this new haircut that Ness made under your and Michael's advice. It sets him apart, more than it already did before, even just his charisma. You read a philosophy book that Kaiser lent you, but you're not that interested. You look up from the pages only when you see him approaching: you lower the canteen to him, and he sits down next to you, drinking greedily. He puts the empty canteen on the grass, wiping the light sweat from his forehead with a towel "Do you have anything else to do?" he asks, and you look at him puzzled "No? Do you need something?" you ask, closing the book

Kaiser looks around, but you've been alone for hours now. He looks at you for a bit, before looking down "Have I ever told you about myself before the Bastard?" he asks, and you stiffen, shaking your head and realizing that it's finally that moment "I was different, I was born different and still am. But now I don't have to deal with my father anymore" he says, and you move closer. Kaiser looks up, he takes your hand in his, playing with your fingers "My mother is an actress, I think. I never really wanted to understand it actually. She worked with my father when she wasn't famous yet, she got pregnant and right after giving birth to me she realized she could be someone if she left me to that lout of a father of mine. She was my father's muse, a director famous only thanks to her. He went crazy when he found out she was gone, maybe I was still too young to remember the slaps and punches he probably gave me. So I never went to school, staying in the criminal area of Berlin. I stole to support the family, maybe I learned to steal even before I learned my name... but that didn't stop the slaps. My father always thought that I was the problem of his breakup with my mother, the reason for his failure. He never changed his mind as I grew up, getting used to making me almost a dead corpse every chance he got. But then I met soccer... I bought a ball, I gave myself a gift for the first time. I held that ball as if my life depended on it, as if it was the only thing that made sense to me. I got pretty good at it without knowing a single damn rule of the sport, but then I got caught in a theft. The police arrested me for something other kids in the neighborhood had done, but I rebelled so much that they took me straight to jail without a legal trial. I thought about killing myself for a few days, I won't deny it. I was fourteen or fifteen years old... but someone saved me. A very powerful man in soccer found out about my story, paid to have me thrown out of prison and entrusted me to the care of Bastard Munchen. I had to go through a selection, there I met Ness for the first time, but from that moment the real part of my life began" says Kaiser, and every word sticks in your mind as if it were sacred. You try to stay strong, but it hurts to think of all the pain he had to endure just because he was born, just because his mother decided to run away and not take her responsibility. You squeeze his hand, letting yourself go against his shoulder "Thanks for telling me. I know how much you hate being pitied… but you already know that no matter what, I’m here for you, even if it’s something huge. I want to be as kind to you as you’ve been to me from the very beginning" you say, and his arm tightens around your shoulders "I know. Thanks. Just saying... only you and Ness know about this" he says, and you nod "I understand"

You’ve never seen him so vulnerable, so Michael and not Kaiser. You think about him as a child, about everything that happened, about everything he thought during prison. It’s something so intimate that he only told you and Ness, which means he wouldn’t judge you if you told him about your past. You’re a little unsure, but you try to relax your muscles "Do you want to… do you want to hear about my past?" you ask, and he takes a moment to you can nod "I'd like that" he says, and you take a long preparatory sigh. He's the first person you've ever told about your life before, when you were still someone

"I am the daughter of my mother's betrayal, I don't know who my real father is. The man who raised me never particularly loved me, but he gave me a more than dignified life... it's complicated to explain. Since my mother fucked another man, he did everything to become the man she loved again, giving her and me everything that could be called rich. But the extra work stressed him, and the constant arguments led them to hit each other... and when I was old enough, their slaps also reached me. They introduced me to the upper class of Berlin at a young age, making me frequent circles where I didn't really belong, like private schools or classical ballet classes... I never liked this stuff, but the first time I disobeyed them, I found myself drinking rat poison for days, without food. Following their rules to perfection meant I would get slapped less, but I swear, I just couldn't do it... the looks of others... the whispers... they terrified me. I was afraid of everything and everyone, and at fourteen I thought about committing suicide"

Your hands are shaking, it's a sensitive subject for you. But you want to talk about it, if he's listening to you

"I just thought that I had no reason to live if I was suffering even just to breathe. One night I gave myself an almost lethal dose of antidepressant drugs, my mother's, and I waited to die. But it didn't work, they admitted me to hospital but I was still alive. When I came home a month later, my parents locked me in the house for almost a year, making me self study so as not to give me the chance to be influenced by negative thoughts... they always thought that my attempted suicide had been caused by others. One night I took some clothes and ran away from home, I wanted to leave Berlin and take the first train to Belgium, but they discovered me at the station. They told me that they didn't want me at home anymore, and that they had already disinherited me. From there, my being homeless began" you tell trying to avoid some painful parts, but then you realize there is no point in not telling 'em "Also... I almost died once. They beat me so bad that I went into a coma, but only for a few days. They justified everything to the police by saying that I had pushed myself too hard in dance and the stress had done this to me. The police ignored the bruises on my body" you say with a shaking voice, remembering how you had burst into tears in front of the police but to no avail, still forced to live in your golden prison

The two of you remain silent for a few minutes, probably processing each other's stories. The cold wind corrodes your skin, but you feel warm at the same time: it is a warm sensation that comes from knowing the truth about the past of the boy who saved you. Of all of them, he chose you, not another person. You have never been chosen by anyone, and yet he had no problem telling you such an important part of himself, so intimate, so vulnerable. You try to shake Kaiser's hand, and when he notices, he returns the squeeze, kissing your knuckles. You smile at him, and his arm spontaneously finds space around your shoulders: he pulls you close, leaving a kiss in your hair before getting up to go back to training. From afar, now, Micheal seems to shine even more than before. If you were devoted to him before, now you know you are dependent on him. You don't want change all this

A year later, you are in exactly the same situation. The days on campus are going by peacefully, you have started to earn some money by cleaning the cafeteria, even though Kaiser has always insisted on not letting you lift a finger. Since he came of age he has started to earn a much higher salary, which gives him the possibility of having lots of money: as vain as he is, his money often ends up in clothes for you or makeup, or in any case in things to give you. He has told you several times that he has no problem spoiling you, if you continue to be as in love as you have been for a long time now. The money often ends up in an extra ticket when the games are abroad, and for the first time you have taken a plane and left Germany: you were not afraid of flying, even less of talking to the people you met in the new country, in Italy. You were finally able to see him play seriously and cheer for him, and the result of your screams was a kiss in the locker room at the end of the game, with a cup won and the shortness of breath for his hungry lips on yours. You had the chance to spend time together on your days off from the foreign match, days that you spent on each other's lips, even though he said that your next kiss would be on your birthday. At the end of the soccer season he spent more money to take you on holiday to Spain, where you had the chance to swim in the sea thanks to him. It's always thanks to his affection for you that you've had so many opportunities in such a short time that you're surprised that you were his choice, you who are mediocrity personified compared to someone as fantastic as him. He loved you, he spoiled you, he gave you the love you had sought but never received. He knew how to make you feel good when you didn't even know how to feel, when your thoughts became too big. He had saved you and continued to do so every day, and you weren't afraid to admit it: you showed it with your loyalty, with your sweetness, with your dedication towards him. It was the least you could do before you found a way to pay him back in full

Dedicating yourself like this to someone was dangerous, you knew it perfectly well: you knew you had changed a lot from who you were before the fire, losing traits of your personality that you had previously thought were unique. But he had lost himself to find you, to help you, to give you a life. Losing yourself couldn't have been such a bad decision, if he had done it for you too. You didn't worry that he might get tired of you, you wouldn't have allowed it, you would have stayed by his side forever, as he wanted, he would never have chased you away. You didn't risk your life when you sacrificed yourself for him, it was all due. You were happy and that was enough for you, you just needed to know that Kaiser was there

"The room is huge" you say looking around, putting your bags on the floor. You walk towards the walls made of glass, which show the great city of Munich. Kaiser nods, sitting on the edge of the bed "Yeah. If you like it, it's money well spent" he says, and you roll your eyes, moving closer "You shouldn't have. I would have liked to stay in the dorm room too" you say positioning yourself between his open legs, and he smirks at you, pulling you close to him putting his arms around the lower part of your waist. He rests his face against your stomach, looking up "It's an important date, in a few hours you'll be an adult" he says, and you huff "It's no big deal. There was no need to organize all this" you say caressing his face, and he rests his face against your palm "Let me spoil my beautiful girl" he says in a low voice that makes you shiver, making your knees weak and your mind stupid

It was Christmas Eve, in less than an hour it would be midnight, and that meant both of your birthdays. Kaiser had surprised you this afternoon with a flight to Munich just for the two of you, in one of the most luxurious hotels in the city, with a reservation for a whole week. The flight lasted a few hours, and now that you are in the hotel it is almost time to celebrate your birthday. In fact, you would have officially become an adult, far from your parents and close to the boy who considers you his girlfriend, even if in fact you have never talked about what your relationship is really like. You love each other and kiss each other, you consider each other's partner, and you are both jealous as hell of the other. But neither of you has ever talked about making the relationship concrete, about putting a point and calling it 'dating' and no longer something random. It's something you've wanted to do for a long time, but you don't want to push Michael into it. When he thinks is good talking about it, you'll do it too. Waiting is the only choice

You look at the clock, noticing that while you were putting your clothes away in the closets, the minutes separating you from the age of majority have now become five. You turn to Kaiser who is lying on the bed, climb on the bed and crawl towards him, catching his attention "Impatient to become an adult?" he asks massaging your back, and you giggle sitting on his stretched legs "Not too much. I'm curious to see you nineteen, what will be different from the normal Kaiser?" you ask, and he snorts amusedly "I think absolutely nothing. Maybe just a few more bucks spent on condoms, what do you think?" he asks, and you are surprised "OH" you say embarrassed, imagining things you shouldn't be imagining. He seems to notice your behavior, and it amuses him "Did I overdo it? I thought you'd thought about it. But I can wait" he says, massaging your thigh, and you glare at him, your cheeks still red "I thought about it... but... god, this is embarrassing" you stammer embarrassedly covering your face, but leaving his hand on your thigh. Before he can reply, his phone rings: you both turn towards the object, and you automatically move off of Kaiser, who stands up "Give me just a second" he says, taking the phone. You sit on the soft hotel mattress, watching him walk towards the glass door of the room

He answers the call, putting the phone to his ear. You see him listening to someone's words for a while, until a smirk appears on his face, as if he is finally satisfied. He lowers his face, as if some sort of shadow is covering his eyes. You tilt your head to listen better, but the only thing you hear coming out of his lips is "Get on your goddamn knees, Blue Lock". You remain confused, but the ringing of your alarm makes you understand that it is midnight: it is your birthday and his. Normally you never bother him during his calls, but this time you get out of bed, walking towards him on tiptoe: arriving at his side you hug his waist, standing on tiptoe to reach his neck, where you leave him a light kiss "Happy birthday, Micheal" you whisper, making him look down at you. He smirks at you, pulling the phone away from his ear before ending the call. He wraps an arm around your waist, kissing your forehead as he pulls you close "Happy birthday. You’re an adult too now, liebe" he whispers to you, and you nod, pushing yourself against him "Impossible to believe, right?" you ask, ironically, but he kisses your lips, holding your face with his tattooed hand

You kiss him back, wrapping your arms around his neck, smiling "Was this the famous kiss you said you’d give me when I turned eighteen?" you ask between the pauses between kisses, and he nods, not stopping "I want to give you so much more than this. I want to show you how important and amazing you really are to me" he says kissing you again, and you feel a slight need in his words, in the way his hands hold your hips as if he were afraid of making you run away. You respond to his kisses trying to keep up, but the more time passes the more your knees become weak from the passion with which he is torturing your lips and your neck, where there are already some hickeys. A slight knot forms in your stomach, and involuntarily little moans escape your lips that make Kaiser stop "Can I?" he whispers to you, and at the same time his hands end up on your thighs, picking you up. You instinctively wrap your legs around his waist, letting his face end up on your breasts, giving you the chance to look at him from an angle that makes him so damn handsome. A stupid smile forms on your lips, as you lean closer to his ear, a little awkwardly "Do what you think is best" you whisper, and that's enough to make him start his long torture. You end up with your back against the mattress, him on top of you with a visible desire to ruin you, with a face that makes you dumb. Before you know it you're naked with him, wrapped in his arms as a new sensation is created between your thighs. Kisses turn into hickeys, his hands on your hips in signs of love and his back full of scratches as he starts moving inside you. When you are already destroyed, you finally feel a feeling of satisfaction in your stomach, as if a weight has gone away. Kaiser ends up at your side, wrapping his arms around your waist, a peaceful feeling on his face "You were gorgeous. You always are" he whispers to you, and you can swear that the tear that just fell is one of pure happiness, pure love for him

A week later, sitting on a flight back to Berlin, you find yourself thinking about what happened during the vacation: beyond the nights of sex, the walks through the city and the dinners in the nicest restaurants in the neighborhood, you involuntarily ignored one thing: the call from the night before. At the time you didn't think about it, but now thinking about it it sounds a little suspicious, even if Kaiser has never actually hidden anything from you: for some unknown reason, however, you think you should ask more. You can't explain the feeling you have, but you prefer to eliminate it in the moment

"Hey" you whisper, and he looks up from his book "Liebe? Tell me?" he asks, and you swallow a lump of saliva "Listen... do you remember the call you received the night before the Eve? I was wondering... who was?" you ask, and imperceptibly you notice Kaiser annoyed "Nobody important, team related matters" he answers you, and you nod, even if the answer doesn't satisfy you. You spend the rest of the trip in silence, and when you get off the plane, Kaiser doesn't take your hand. It makes you sad, and you think it's your fault that he's rightfully angry with you now, you didn't trust his answer and obviously he understood it. Back on campus you lock the door, and everything seems to go back to the way it was the night you lost your virginity, with him inside you and your nails on his pale back. The following days pass peacefully, but you have the feeling that there is still an unresolved situation that you don't have the courage to face, because you don't like seeing him angry with you. You'd rather ignore the problem than find the love of your life against you

A month later, you're on your knees in the hallway of the campus rooms. Your fists clenched on the carpet, tears now flowing freely "What do you mean you're leaving for Japan?!" you ask in shock, seeing the suitcases at his sides blurred by the tears. Kaiser looks at you indifferently, then looks at his cell phone to check the time. You are alone, the entire campus is already inside the buses headed to the airport, and you only discovered it when, a few minutes ago, you returned from your walk in the city. You knew absolutely nothing about all this, no one and especially Kaiser had told you anything about this sudden transfer of at least six months to Japan, on the other side of the world. You ran into the room to see if Kaiser was staying, but you found him in the hallway with the suitcases in his hand, as if he wasn't forgetting you here. When you threw yourself at him to hug him he shook you off almost immediately, and you inadvertently ended up on the floor

"What, what's going on? Micheal? What's this all about?" you ask stammeringly, taking a few steps forward, but he takes a few steps back to avoid contact. He looks you up and down, judging you for the first time in the years you've known each other; in his eyes you don't recognize the same boy who fucked you shamelessly for many nights, whispering the sweetest phrases you've ever received. In his eyes there is not your savior. You tremble without being able to control it, and when you finally grab his hand, you squeeze it tightly "Micheal, why? What did I do, why didn't you tell me?" you say sobbing, but he doesn't bend down to kiss your knuckles, one of the gestures he has always made. He looks at your hand, perhaps disgusted "I didn't have to tell you anything, why do you expect this? Isn't everything I've done for you enough?" he says harshly, and the world of certainties you've built for yourself falls miserably. You let go of his hand, looking at him without knowing what to say: you've always been grateful for him saving you, but in fact, you've never done anything to repay him, and you haven't even tried. You look at him with wide eyes, your lips trembling and shiny "I... Michael, I am..." you say, but he interrupts you "Don't you dare tell me you're grateful, what I do with it? I spent money, a tattoo, my feelings for you. What did I get out of it? Nothing" he says disgustedly, and his annoyed look makes you feel so small and useless. You try to take his hand again, but it's him who grabs your wrist and blocks it, forcing you to look him in the eyes "I'm not forgetting anything here in Germany, nothing and especially no one. I no longer want to waste my strength on someone who doesn't know how to do anything but be a pig, an animal that follows its owner without personality, and who actually has the courage to say that I'm forgetting an important part. Go away, Y/n, I don't want to see you anymore, until my last fucking breath" says Kaiser, and leaves you like that, still, in the middle of the corridor while he disappears into the elevator

Standing in the hallway, you feel like dying would be a lot less painful now. Your breathing is blocked, and your ability to move has stopped the moment he made it clear that he wants you dead. His words start to spin in your head, spinning so much that your vision blurs and everything around you goes black. Your god doesn't want to be worshipped by you anymore, your Michael Kaiser doesn't want to have you around anymore. Everything you shared with the same person for more than two years has now been thrown in the trash, along with all your hopes for a future with him. Are you really a useless pig? Is it true that you no longer have a personality? But really, why did he do it? Was it a particular behavior of yours that hurt him? Why did he throw you away so easily?

The world no longer exists, you no longer exist. He took your life with him, on the bus, on the plane and in Japan. He threw you away when he had the chance, and what are you left with now but a blurry memory of yourself before you met him? What are you now that he, your sense, is no longer there?

What are you now? A pig? Alone?

He is not here, he will not be here as long as you live, but you already know that you will not live anymore. How can you continue to live when all your certainties are gone, leaving you like a fool? Do you really still have any sense? Are you still you?

Even before the time is up, the stick already has two clearly visible pink bars. You stare at the stick speechless, feeling a general feeling of unease throughout your body after realizing what I have suspected for a month now. Your hands start to shake, causing the test to fall to the floor, which however does not change the result at all. The room, even though empty, suddenly seems so narrow, the more you look at that stick the more you realize how deep in shit you are. It wasn't supposed to happen, not now with you in this condition, but he never took precautions even once, and you let him do it because there was no point in telling him to do something else

The pregnancy test comes back positive, even after you've been staring at it for a whole hour. You're pregnant with Michael Kaiser's child, now the star of the Blue Lock TV

But you and him haven't spoken in three months.

Today is a beautiful sunny day in Berlin. You woke up early to go running, meditated and took some supplements that the doctor prescribed you last week. Berlin has had a huge boom in sunny days lately, but that's probably because it's almost spring, and that means more time for your skin to be kissed by the sun. Warm light also comes in through the window of the room, from where you see outside a beautiful garden that you've already stared at a thousand times. You turn to Ines, who is still coloring her book: you should do her ponytails like this more often, now that you look at her, because it makes her blonde hair look better. Maybe you too should start wearing your hair tied up again and no longer loose

"Miss, it's always the same story. You shouldn't take your medication with coffee, don't ruin all the work you've done with another addiction" the doctor says, looking up from your clipboard and directing her gaze to you. You chuckle nervously, playing with a lock of hair as you lean back in your chair "You're always so funny, Dr. Horwell. You always know how to make me smile" you say, and she huffs, probably as tired as you are from this session. The two of you have a staring contest for a few seconds, but the psychologist seems to be winning "Really, Y/n. You’re such a nice girl but often… often you get lost in useless memories. In stupid things. It makes me feel like you want to continue therapy just to meet me" the woman says, and you raise an eyebrow at her comment "Not that I like spending 100€ every time I come here, but yes, I enjoy your company" you say giggling, and this makes the other woman chuckle too, but she looks at you with a serious look of displeasure. She sighs, placing the folder on the table "If you enjoy my company that much, I’d be happier to see you in another context. Not in therapy, like the last three years" she says, looking down

You don't react, they keep smiling. You don't like to admit that you're not healed yet, and that since the last thing happened, it feels like you've wasted years of therapy. But now there's no point in showing sadness, the psychologist knows how much you're still tied to your trauma, to the reason why you decided to start the sessions years ago. You don't need her words to realize how much you pretend to have overcome the situation, when instead you still feel like you're in that corridor in Berlin. Even though you want to move on, you feel like if you do, you'll be taking away your last chance to be whole in the way you want to be and not the way the psychologist intends. You're fine with this, you've been used to being in this condition for years now. It would be strange to change, even if this would probably lead you to be able to start living for yourself again and not for the sixteen-year-old you

"I think seeing him was the icing on the cake, really… tell me again, how are you?" she asks, and you smile "Great. I’m still shaken up, but I think I can handle it" you answer, but for the umpteenth time you are lying to yourself. Seeing him after five years was harder than you want to admit, more destructive than his words left to you years ago. But it happened

You still remember how Ines complained about having your hand too tight on yours, which you were involuntarily squeezing tightly. You still remember perfectly how he turned towards you even before you recognized him. You still remember how you felt like a pig again, as if you were watching your master taking you to the slaughterhouse. You still remember how smelling his smell again after years made you cry without you even realizing it. You still remember when, few days ago, you saw Micheal Kaiser again after years, and you with his daughter, whose existence he doesn't even know

"Do you at least regret what you did to me?"

"I regret you, not the situation"

"I know when you lie to me, I know you. But you still have the same problem as when you started therapy..." says the psychologist, and you tilt your head, waiting for an answer "You still chase the problem, rather than accept the end. You gave so much to him that you didn't realize how little you had become for yourself" says the psychologist, knowing full well how to stab you without making you bleed "Accepting that it's over for you means accepting that he only wanted you from the beginning for one purpose. But accepting it would make the sixteen-year-old you suffer, even if it would mean bringing the you of now to finally be free. You're afraid, you're afraid to see yourself happy because you still think you haven't repaid him for saving you" she says, and the room becomes quieter than you can stand. You look around, avoiding direct eye contact now that you're in the corner. Your hands start to sweat, and you try to take deep breaths to regain some clarity. You look up a little, lips trembling "Did he ever love me?"

The psychologist smiles at you, perhaps a little to reassure me "I can only give you my personal opinion, but for me, yes, he loved you. But he was broken, just like you, and he blew it all when he realized that the situation could hold him back from becoming the best in the world. He loved you, but he did it as a consequence, not as an initial goal. At first he helped you only because he needed another support, someone he could give everything to fill the holes he had. But something broken can't try to fix itself using something else that's broken. You were simply too young to be destroyed, but too old to be saved"

word count: 15,696

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