#and a lot of my family had jobs in tech and therefore knew how to max out all their shit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

felassan · 4 years

Text

Dragon Age development insights from David Gaider - PART 1

This information came from DG on a recent SummerfallStudios Twitch stream where he gave developer commentary while Liam Esler played DAO, specifically the mage Origin. I transcribed it in case there’s anyone who can’t watch the stream (for example due to connection/tech limitations, data, time constraints, or personal accessibility reasons). A lot of it is centered on DAO, but there’s also insights into DA2 and DAI. Some of it is info which is known having been out there already, some of it is new, and all of it imo was really interesting! It leaps from topic to topic as it’s a transcript of a conversational format. It’s under a cut due to length.

Note on how future streams in this series are going to work: The streams are going to be every Friday night. Most likely, every week, they’re going to play DAO. Every second week it will be Liam and DG and they’ll be doing more of this developer commentary style/way of doing things, talking about how the game was made as they play through, covering quirks and quibbles etc. Every other week, it will be Liam and a guest playing a different campaign in DAO, and Liam will be talking with them about how DA changed their lives or led them into game development, to get other peoples’ thoughts on the series (as it’s now been like 10 years). Some of these guests we may know, some we won’t. When other DA devs are brought on, it’ll be in the DG sessions. They hope to have PW and Karin Weekes on at some point. Sometime they hope to have an episode where they spend the whole time going through the lore.

(Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6)

[wording and opinions DG’s, occasionally LE’s; paraphrased]

DAO’s development actually finished up around April 2009. They then put it on ice for around six months before release. Human Noble is DG’s favorite Origin. It’s one of the ones he wrote. He also wrote the Dalish Origin as well (Tamlen is his doing ;__;). DAO’s temp name during development was Chronicles. DG has never played any of the DA games after they were released. He played them pre-release loads of times, when they were half-broken or incomplete etc. This stream is his first time seeing everything played after completion.

NWN: Hordes of the Underdark was the first game where DG was a/the lead writer, in charge of other writers, as opposed to a senior writer. It was pretty well-received. In the fall of 2003, BW were just finishing up HotU when James Ohlen came to DG to talk. BW had been having issues during the development of NWN with the IP holder for D&D Wizards of the Coast, so they were interested in starting their own IPs that they would have ownership over (and also for financial reasons). JO said to DG that one of these new IPs would be fantasy and one would be sci-fi. He knew that DG was more fantasy-oriented, and so asked DG if he wanted to take this on. DG was down, and the first thing to figure out was what that fantasy IP was going to be.

JO gave DG an atlas of European history, which he still has, and said that he wanted him to make a fantasy world that is reminiscent of medieval Europe and reminiscent of D&D - “make it like D&D but not, file off the serial numbers really well”. This worked for DG because he was pretty familiar with D&D and there were also lots of things that he didn’t like about it and wanted to change. So DG went off and for the next six months worked on creating a setting, beginning with documentation and the map. This was kinda strange because they had no idea at that time what their story would be. JO was very interested in having a “genetically evil” enemy in the setting (like an equivalent to orcs). DG wasn’t a big fan of this and his initial go at the setting omitted this (i.e. darkspawn were not a thing) and was a lot more realistic. JO insisted on adding them later on.

This period of development wasn’t actually a good process. There were other people who were working on the project who were designing the combat side. Looking back, DG feels that they should have put their heads together a lot sooner. The combat designers had various ideas for various prestige classes and subclasses, and DG would be like “these are nowhere in the setting [lore]”. He tried his best to add a few of them after the fact, which is why we see things like DA’s version of the bard archetype. The combat designers and artists originally had a vision in mind of a game that was much more along the lines of the type of fantasy you’d find in the Conan the Barbarian world - bare-chested barbarians, sorceresses that show a lot of skin, a grimdark world with barbarian hordes. They were just assuming that’s what it was going to be. At this point in time DG had never thought, “Oh, maybe I’m responsible for communicating my ideas to them” - he’d never done this role before and was just told to go create the world. He created world-building documentation and would send out emails saying “I’m making this documentation, please go ahead and take a look”, not learning until later on that nobody outside of the writing team really likes reading such documentation. He learned tricks later on like making the docs more accessible, less dense and wordy, and overall easier to peruse.

There was no real ‘vision holder’ for DA. Mass Effect did a much better job of that. Casey Hudson was the project director and the vision holder for ME, and he had the power to enforce a set vision of what was and was not ME. ME therefore ended up having a bit more of a coherent vision. DG was in essence the vision holder for DA, but he didn’t really have the authority to enforce it on the artists. The DA teams ended up spending a good 3.5 - 4 years of the ~6 years of DAO dev time going in circles, not exactly sure what they were going to make, the various people working on it having different ideas of what ‘kind’ of fantasy they were going to make. The writing team were leaning towards LoTR; the artists were leaning towards Conan; at one point one of the project directors was leaning towards a point-and-click Diablo-style action adventure; and nobody was overriding anybody else.

The fans who hang out on the forums and in similar places have a very different idea about what kind of game they like and want to play versus the telemetry BW get from the public in general. As an example, fans on the forums tend towards playing non-humans and feeling that playing as a human is boring. Forum-polls reflected that, but BW’s general public-telemetry shows that around 75-80% of the playerbase played a human in DAO. Elves were at 15% and dwarves 5%. In contrast, in the core/forum-based fanbase, the human figure dropped down to 30%.

DG originally wanted Zevran to be a gay romance (he has talked about this before). He asked JO if he could do that pretty early on, thinking of Jade Empire which had same-gender romance options which were really popular. BW were surprised about that, and DG had no idea that the JE team were going to do this. For DAO, he had an idea for an assassin character. He had been reading about how the CIA and KGB would often recruit gay men to be their assassins, as they didn’t tend to have family ties. DG thought this was really interesting. JO was cool with the idea on a conceptual level, but thought that the work that would end up going into it would be better served if those characters could be romanced by both male and female PCs. Zevran and Leliana weren’t intended to be bi, they were “bi out of convenience”, but at the time these sorts of things (representation and such) didn’t enter into the equation as much as it does today. DG wrote Zevran in his head as being romanceable by men.

DG would ask the hair artists, “Why all the mullets?”, because he never understood that, and he’d get “a sort of shrug response”, and an indication that “it’s easier to model, I guess?” Having hair which is loose, in the face, in locks, coming over the shoulders etc wasn’t really supported at this point by the tech or the engine. Hence, they ended up with like five different versions of mullets. On the subject of the engine, for the first half of development they were using an upgraded version of the Aurora engine from NWN, and it was not good. Several years in they decided to switch. Trent Oster was in charge at the time of making a new proprietary BW engine. At the time it wasn’t ready yet, but the DA team decided to grab it, use it and hammer it into the DA engine. That engine had “so many little weird quirks”, like lighting on skin not working properly and looking bad, and one of the issues was hair. It was supposed to be BW’s proprietary engine but it really wasn’t optimized for RPGs and didn’t include a dialogue system. They had to custom-build the conversation system. (At the time Trent didn’t think BW should be doing RPGs anymore, which is a whole other story of its own). DG recalls programmers complaining about things in the engine that weren’t ready for ‘prime-time’. Even compared to games released concurrently, DAO’s graphics were a bit dated.

For the worldbuilding, they had an internal wiki and they kept everything on there. They ended up with a lot of legacy documentation on there very quickly. Eventually they solved this by hiring an editor whose sole job it was to wrangle the documentation. DG started work on the setting in the same manner in which he’d embark on starting a homebrew - ‘so like, first, here’s a map, oh, I like this name, vague ideas, a paragraph on each major nation, a rough timeline of the history, expanding, and it just growing from there’. After about six months, they brought on other writers, and by then he had around 50 pages of documentation. This 50 pages was a minute amount compared to the amount they had generated at the time of release. Originally, they weren’t sure where in the world specifically the story would take place, so DG made sure to seed potential and brewing conflicts throughout Thedas. They settled quite quickly on the new Blight starting in Ferelden. Once they established that, the writers went to town on taking Ferelden specifically and blowing it up detail-wise. Jennifer Hepler was in charge of the dwarves and Orzammar. Mary Kirby was on Fereldan customs and traditions.

The first version of the setting was more grounded in realism, almost like a post-fantasy. The dragons and griffons were extinct and a lot of the things that were thought to be fantastical were thought to be over with. During development, they started clawing these things back. They brought back dragons because the game was named Dragon Age (lol). DG was approached like, “Hey, we named the game DA, can you bring back dragons and weave them into the story more powerfully?” Wynne’s writer Sheryl Chee had a bit of an obsession with griffons and was often like ‘omg, griffons :D’, and this is the origin of Wynne’s dialogue with the Warden about griffons.

KotOR was the first time BW had tried to do a game that was fully voiced-over. For KotOR, BW sent the work of casting, direction and so on down to another studio in California called Technicolor. BW had little say in the process then and when they got it back, “it was what it was”. By the time they got to DA and the first ME, BW had a good system down for recording and VO had become an important thing in games at the time. BW are really one of the premieres for this, a lot of actors really like acting on BW games as they get a lot of space to act where they wouldn’t normally be able to do so otherwise. DG has learned a lot from Caroline Livingstone on how to encourage the best performance out of an actor. For DAO, DG worked together with the various lead designers and Caroline to decide on the auditions, casting etc. This was one of DG’s favorite things to do.

Gideon Emery as Fenris, GDL as Solas and Eve Myles as Merrill were times where DG had written the character and then went to Caroline and said “I have an actor in mind for them, can you check it out?” These were specific times where he was able to secure the actor he wanted. This didn’t always work out, for example there are times when actors aren’t interested or have no time due to scheduling conflicts or were too expensive etc. Eve and GDL were DG’s roommate Cori’s idea. Cori was a big fan of Torchwood/the actors from Torchwood, and worked as an editor at BW for a long time. Gideon was DG’s idea after playing FF12. For DAO, DG didn’t have any specific ideas in terms of actors. Casting Morrigan was the longest, most drawn out process.

The Circle went through a whooole process during worldbuilding. Initially, mages in the game weren’t supposed to have any “fighting magic”. The restrictions were originally such that in the lore, they didn’t teach mages that. Mages weren’t taught any magic that could kill people, only ‘indirect’ forms of magic that could support others. However, [during what sounds like] playtesting it was asked “Why can’t I cast a fireball? I just want to cast a fireball”, so the writers had to go back and rework how magic in the lore worked completely.

Flemeth was originally going to be voiced by Shohreh Aghdashloo, and she was totally on-board, but unfortunately because of DAO’s development delays, she was unable to attend the new recording time as she had a conflict in her schedule (she was filming House of Sand and Fog). Shoreh was quite disappointed about this and her family had been so excited that she was going to be in a video game. When the movie was finished, Shoreh came back to BW and let them know that she was still available, and this is how she ended up in ME2. For a while they were trying to find an actress with an accent that authentically mirrored Shoreh’s. Out of the blue around this time, Claudia Black’s agent sent BW an audition tape of her. At the time Claudia hadn’t done any games but wanted to get into it. The tape was of Claudia doing a beat poet rendition of Baby Got Back. DG still has this tape. DG was a big fan of Farscape and on listening to the tape, it clicked right away in his head that Claudia would be perfect for Morrigan.

The Fade ended up being a big irritation for the writers. They wanted the PC to be able to assume different forms and such while in there. A lot of this stuff proved too difficult for the combat designers to work out, and so it ended up getting changed a lot. They had a hard time coming up with gameplay that could work in the Fade. The mage Origin is DG’s least favorite of the Origin stories, as he’s really dubious about the Fade section in it. It didn’t work out like how they had pictured it in their heads. By the time they got to DAI, that’s when the Fade really looks like how the writers first described/envisioned it. By this point the artists were more keen to give it a more specific feel. DAO was made at a time when ‘brown is realistic’ was a prevailing thing in games dev.

The experience of a mage in the world isn’t represented or conveyed very well to the player when the player is a mage. The experience of the player when they’re playing a mage or have a mage in their party doesn’t really match up with how the world lore tells them how dangerous mages can be - for example, how they can lose control and so on, we never really have an example of a PC mage struggling with being taken over by a demon. This was originally supposed to be a subplot in DA2 for mage Hawkes, in one of the last cuts. In Act 2, mage Hawke was originally slowly being tricked by a demon in their head that they thought was real, only to realize at the last minute. Mouse the Pride demon in the mage Origin is the only time in the entire series that they really ever properly demonstrated how demons can fuck with [PC] mages. Also, PC templars were originally supposed to have a permanent lyrium addiction that they needed to ‘feed’, but this was scrapped as the system designers weren’t keen on it and felt that it was essentially handicapping the player.

Mages were originally also not supposed to be able to deal with pure lyrium (it would ‘overload’ them). There is a plot where mage PCs run around touching lyrium nodes to refill their mana bars. On this DG was like “Wtf is this?” The designers said that it works, and DG said “but it flies in the face of the lore”. This instance is an example of how the DA team was working where the various departments (writers, artists, designers etc) all had their own ideas about how the game and its world would work and never overrode each other (see above). DG feels that DAO is a little contradictory in that way. It’s only after the game came out that a lot of the people on the team really “bought into” what they’d put forward. This got easier as they went on, with people involved buying then into the things that make Dragon Age, Dragon Age. At one point, not everyone on the team was even aware of those things.

DG relates that originally, they would ask the artists, “Ok, can we get a village?” and said village once created would be quite generic and non-specific to DA. The writers would try to relate how things are in the DA world and list things that would be found in a village like this specific to the DA world, and the artists either didn’t read it or had their own ideas (DG isn’t sure which), and nobody was around to tell them not to do that and that they should do it differently. Everyone having their own ideas like this is why we ended up getting something that is this sort of “cobbled together half-Conan half-LotR mish-mash”, and after a while this sort of became DA’s “thing”.

Initially, BW had concepts drawn up for a lot more different creatures. After they went in circles for those years and consequently ran out of time to do all the models, they had to cut these concepts down more and more. Demons were among the ones that were the first to go (this is why we have situations like a bereskarn as the Sloth Demon in the mage Origin). The original concepts for things like spirits of Valor and Sloth demons were really good. Early on, JO made a list of D&D creatures that he liked. He picked the ones that they were thinking of doing, sent them to DG and said to make a “DA version of this”. For example, D&D succubi essentially became Desire Demons. Desire Demons were originally patterned off Sandman, neither male nor female yet really alluring, acting more like a genie and trying to ferret out mortals’ inner desires (which are not necessarily sexual in nature), without being overtly sexual. The artists’ version came back and that was basically the model seen in-game. The writers were like “What is this, this is nothing like the description?” and the artists responded that on the list from JO, it was included, in that you had to click on “succubus” to get to the Desire Demon description, so they had just read “succubus” and done their version of a succubus. The artists did loads of great work, but this was one of the instances were DG was like “???” By then, it was too late to change it. The writers were able to encourage them to make Desire Demons a little more fearsome, so that made it in at least.

The mage Origin was one of the more contentious Origin stories. It had like 4 different versions written of it over time. It was often the case that BW would hire someone, and writing an Origin story was their first test. Three different writers came in and wrote a version of the mage Origin and those versions just didn’t work. Finally they passed it to Sheryl Chee and she wrote it. The Origins were the parts of the game in general that were written/rewritten the most often. There were several others that got written that they discarded.

Duncan was slated for death from Day 1. When DG writes a story, the thing he does first is pick out the big emotional beats that he wants, such as deaths. He decides these ahead of time and the stuff in-between comes later and is more often changed. Oghren was also originally supposed to die, but this ended up getting cut. DG related a story of how Oghren came to be: At the time, there was a phase JO went through when he thought everything had a formula that it could be done by. One of these ‘creative forumulas’ was that all such IPs had a two-word name that they’re known by, such as Star Wars, Star Trek, Dragonlance (being Dragon-Lance). This is how ‘DA’ and ‘ME’ came to be. One of the formulas he wanted to implement was how to distill the ‘comedy character’, like Minsc or HK-47. These characters were very popular with the fans and JO was certain that there was a way to figure this out to create one for DA. At the time, DG argued with him a lot about this. JO insisted it could be done. DG was originally supposed to write this character but ended up not doing so. JO came up with a list of comedic archetypes and had DG write a blurb about what kind of character each could be. These were then sent out to the team who voted on which was their favorite. This process eventually resulted in an archetype basically called ‘The Buffoon’ (think Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin, the kind of guy people laugh at because he’s such an oaf).

At this point ‘The Buffoon’ wasn’t named or made a dwarf yet. JO came to DG to write him, but DG said there was a problem which is that he hates this archetype. Homer and Peter are characters that he despises. DG is a professional writer, but this was comedy (outside of his areas of strength), and he felt the best he would be able to do is write a character who makes fun of this archetype and lampshade that. Comedy is something that has to come from within the writer. Oghren was given to someone else, and he ended up getting rewritten again anyway. By the time they were working on Awakening, DAO had not yet come out, and the assumption prior to the game going out was that Oghren was still going to be the most popular character from among the followers. The comedic character that ended up being the most popular along these lines was Alistair, which was interesting as he wasn’t intended as a comedic character, “so shows what we know”. DG was dubious that Oghren was going to be popular, because “he was kind of pathetic, honestly”, but that was the thinking at the time. Thinking he would be well-loved is why he was in Awakening.

On Alistair, any character DG writes is going to be sarcastic. At the time DG had made it a sort of personal challenge to recreate Joss Whedon’s dialogue patterns in his characters. Alistair was a sort of mish-mash of Xander from Buffy and maybe Mal from Firefly. DG wanted to see if he could do it, so Alistair was kind of quippy and self-deprecating. DG never really considered this to be Alistair’s main personality feature, but when other writers wrote him, they often had him doing this, as they liked the trait so much, and so this is how Alistair ended up as he did.

On dwarves, the dwarves being cut off from the Fade is very much baked into who the dwarves are as a race. There’s a specific reason why. This has been hinted at so far and it’s likely to come up in the future. DG had various ideas for some things that he wanted to include with the races or the way the world works etc. Some of them ended up never happening or some are mentioned only as part of the lore (templar lyrium addiction never coming up in gameplay is an example of this). Dwarven history and the nature of the dwarves is one of the things that survived pretty well though. DG calls Jennifer Hepler “mistress of the dwarves” and says that she did a really detailed, amazing breakdown of their history. After Jennifer left it was Mary Kirby, and DG feels that they did a good job of maintaining how dwarves were, in terms of both how they’re often presented in fantasy and yet also quite different in DA. Orzammar is one of DG’s favorite plots all together. You can really tell that Jennifer Hepler really enjoyed the dwarves and brought a lot of love to that plot.

DG draws a distinction between DA fans and the unpleasant people who harassed Jennifer Hepler.

They managed to keep the Tranquil in. There was a while there where they were going to be cut. At the same time, DG regrets that they couldn’t solve the making of the player more aware of how mages are dangerous, thing. Players could make a cogent argument like “they’re not that dangerous, look at me [mage PC]” and the writers were like “well... yeah, that is fair”. It was a case of showing one thing and the player experience of it being another. DG feels that this made the templars come off worse than they are. DG feels that they are being massively unfair and too extreme in their approach to the problem, but the problem itself is a real thing. He feels that there’s some merit/truth in the argument that mages are oppressed, but he looks at it more like an issue like gun control rather than as treatment of oppressed people, saying that we don’t have an example in real life of oppressed people who can explode into demons and cast fireballs and so on.

There are some funny pronunciations that worked their way into DA, and the reason for a lot of them is as follows: the writers had to create a pronunciation guide for VO, because otherwise you end up with a lot of inconsistencies. (Some did still slip through). The guide was online, and if you clicked on a word, an audio file for it would play. Jennifer Hepler was in charge of this and did a great job, but has a really strong NY accent, and in some cases the ‘NY-ness’ of her pronunciation endearingly worked itself into things (the way Arlathan is sometimes said is an example of where this happened sometimes).

Sometimes the writers trying to communicate the “hotness” of a character to the artists didn’t go smoothly. The writers would sometimes say things like, ok, this character is a romance, they need to be hot, and the designs would come back looking “like Burt Reynolds”, and the writers would be like “???” And then a character that wasn’t particularly intended to be hot, as in that wasn’t mentioned at all in the descriptions of them, would come back “accidentally hot”, and the writers would be like “Why couldn’t you have done this when we were asking for a character that was meant to be hot”, and the artists would be like “What?? He’s not hot”. And this became a thing (lmao - this discussion was prompted by DG being asked “Was Duncan meant to be that hot?”, for context). Some of the artists were so paranoid about their [in]ability to judge actually-hot characters that when it was time to pick an appearance, like for Alistair, they gathered up all the women at BioWare, and DG (“resident gay”) into a room to show them an array of faces and bodies like “Is this hot? Is this hot?” DG and co would sit there like, “How can you not tell? Is this a straight man thing?!” Anyways, this is why oftentimes we ended up with characters who are accidentally hot.

Over time, the writers realized that the way they communicated to artists needed to be managed better. The words they would use would have different connotations to them the writers, than what they did to the artists. For example, for Anders’ design in DA2, he was supposed to be “a little haggard”. When DG thinks of haggard, he thinks ‘a little tired, mussed hair, looking like you’ve been through some shit’. But the artists based on that produced concepts with super sunken cheeks, looking like he’d been terribly starved. The writers needed to develop a specific vocabulary for communicating with the artists, as artists think in terms of how something looks, but writers are thinking in terms of what the character “is”. Anders’ description talked about his history a lot, and the one visual-type word that jumped out was “haggard” due to its visual connotations. “A lot it came down to the writers being up their/our own asses.”

When they got to DAI, they had figured out that the way to get best results on this front was /not/ to have the writer go off and develop a long description and pre-conceived notion of what the character looked like in their head. In such scenarios artists don’t feel that they have much to contribute to the process or an ability to put their own stamp on who this character is and make them interesting to them (the best, most interesting characters are when people at all stages of the pipeline properly get to feed into it). They learned that the better solution was to bring the artists in earlier, and to give them little blurbs, and not name the character but give them an ‘archetype’-sort of ‘name’. For example, Dorian was “the rockstar mage”, “cool”, “Freddie Mercury”. The writers wouldn’t be sure that a particular concept would ‘hit’, so at this stage they would offer an array of options and sit the artist down and walk them through the concepts. The artists would then provide a bunch of sketches and it would go back and forth, with both taking part in the character creation process together. For the first two games, the writers were “really hogging” this process to themselves. They got better at not doing this and better at communicating with the artists by DAI.

There were a lot of arguments about how mages in DAO had a lot of specific lore words like “Harrowing”, “phylactery”, “Rite of Tranquility” etc. There was concern that this would be too confusing for players to understand and that it was too complicated. DG says that thankfully he put his foot down and pushed for this stuff to be kept. A lot of fans assume that as lead writer DG had all this influence, way more influence than he could possibly exert on a team. He wasn’t even a lead, he was a sub-lead, under a lead designer. He only had so much say. If the lead designer or lead artist wanted to do something differently, often there was not much he could do. Hence he had to pick his battles carefully, choose the important ones to fight. The mage vocabulary thing was one of these.

Templar Greagoir’s name is pronounced “Gregor” and it comes from a place in Alberta near where DG lived.

Codex entries are usually one of the last things that get done in a project like this, and so all of that kind of textual lore comes in super late and is super punchy as by then the writers have written so much and are exhausted. They had to find a way to make this process cute or interesting or fun for themselves, which is why a lot of entries are quite fun to read. Sometimes a writer would make a joke for banter [irl], and it would end up making it into an entry.

Only Morrigan and Duncan got unique body models in DAO. The companions all have custom-morphed heads but not custom-morphed bodies (Morrigan not included here). This is why every model has a necklace or a collar right at the point where they had to be attached to be a body. These sometimes used assets that couldn’t be used by the PC but were not unique to that character. Duncan probably got a unique model because he was in a lot of marketing/promotional material. Qunari were originally conceived as having horns.

Most people didn’t even finish DAO once (public telemetry again here), only approximately 20-25% actually did. The devs try not to read too much into this kind of thing, but the telemetry does tell them where a lot of people stop playing the game permanently (they call these “drop-off points”). One of these points in DAO is the Fade during Broken Circle. Sometimes when people interpret this data they involve self-serving biases, but it was generally accepted that the Fade there was too long, too complex, not interesting enough, etc. [source]

[Part 2]

[Part 3]

[Part 4]

[Part 5]

[Part 6]

[‘Insights into DA dev from the Gamers For Groceries stream’ transcript]

#dragon age #bioware #morrigan #solas #video games #queen of my heart #mass effect #lgbtq #jade empire #fenris #the Fenaissance #alistair theirin #lul #fav warden

930 notes · View notes

maddiwrites · 3 years

Text

Gut Feeling

Pairing: John B Routledge x Routledge!Reader (Sibling Dynamic)

Summary: (Requested) As your older brother, John B tends to decide what he thinks is best for the two of you. Disregarding your concerns about Ward Cameron, John B decides it would be best for the two of you to accept Ward’s offer to be your guardian. Later, John B learns that he should he really trust his sister’s instincts.

Note: I linked the request in the summary. I’ll be honest I don’t think I did your request justice but I tried really hard to put my head where yours was at! Hopefully you like it! Let me know!!

Word Count: 3.8k

You and you brother are closer than most siblings. You think it’s because of how you were raised. Your mom abandoned you at a young age and your dad was inevitably neglectful from working back and forth between two jobs and spending most of his free time researching the Royal Merchant. That left you and John B to mostly fend for yourselves. With John B being a year older, you looked up to him as your best friend and protector.

Due to the spike in conflict between you, the Pogues, and the Kooks, and now the square groupers coming for blood because of your dad’s compass, you’re constantly seeking comfort in your brother’s side, feeling unsafe whenever you’re not around him. It wasn’t always this way. But now that you know your dad most likely didn’t disappear on his own, and people are looking for you and your brother for the compass, you felt scared and alone. The police won’t help because they think you’re nothing but a couple of trouble makers living on the Cut. Now you’re spending the summer fearing every day for you life.

It didn’t help that John B found himself in a scuffle with Topper and his girlfriend. Fighting with a couple of teenage Kooks should be the least of your problems, yet here you are, sitting on the edge of John B’s hospital bed.

Sarah’s here too and you wonder how deep her connection is with your brother. From what you know, they’ve only started hanging out a couple of days ago. And she’s still in a relationship with Topper, the kid who almost killed your brother.

“John B,” You say sheepishly, feeling weird and shy with Sarah being in the room. Like you feel forgotten. “We should go before DCS finds us here.”

John B nods. “Okay, grab my stuff in the closet over there.”

You nod and turn to grab his clothes that the nurses stuffed in a transparent plastic bag.

“Wait, maybe you should...” Sarah tries stopping John B out of concern for his well being. He was just diagnosed with a severe concussion and a broken wrist. She didn’t know how well he would do on his feet.

“Hold on there, sport,” Ward Cameron walks in with his hands tucked into his pocket and a smirk on his lips.

“Mr. Cameron...” John B says apprehensively and glances between him and Sarah. “What are you doing here?”

Ward explains that Sarah told him everything - how John B landed in the hospital because he was defending Sarah. How he was wrong for firing John B when he was honest with him from the get-go.

“I’d like to make up for it if you let me,” Ward says, peaking your interest. “I talked to Sheriff Peterkin...and I’ve offered to be your legal guardian if you’ll have me.”

You swallow nervously and turn to John B for some insight as to what he was thinking. Something unsettling rolled in the pit of your stomach. Your instinct has always been to never trust a Kook. They only look out for themselves. It’s just how it goes on this island. Therefore, you can’t help but question Ward’s intention. Why would he take in two more kids when he already had three.

John B looks between Sarah and Ward, but not you, and smiles at the offer. “Yeah, sure. Uh, sounds good.”

“John -”

“Okay,” Ward claps and cuts you off. “Then it’s settled. Welcome to the family.”

Sarah smiles excitedly down at your brother who offers the same grin. You feel Ward’s eyes on the side of your head as you look at the ground, suddenly feeling anxious about your new situation. Something didn’t feel right. You had a gut feeling. And usually, your gut is never wrong.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Ward sets the two of you up in a room on the first floor. Until his second guest room is ready, you were asked to share a room with John B for the time being. Of course, you had no problem doing this. In fact, you wanted this, afraid of what might happen if you and John B were ever separated. You already felt a wall slipping in between you two. And that wall was Sarah Cameron. You didn’t want to thicken that separation even further.

It sounds crazy, but that’s just how scared you were.

“I don’t know about this, John B,” You say softly as the two of you unpack most of what you were able to bring from the Chateau.

“Why? It’s a roof over our head, in Figure Eight, no less. The guy may be an arrogant douche, but he’s not evil,” John B says. He didn’t understand why you were so hesitant to move in when the other alternative is to keep running from DCS.

“I don’t know. I just have a feeling...” You trail off when you come across a picture of you, John B, and your dad in a frame you tucked into your luggage. You focus on your dad’s smile and wonder what he would think of this - living on Figure Eight, pretending to be a Kook. “Just don’t leave me alone with him.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

Little did you know, Ward was eavesdropping right outside the room. He was about to check up on the both of you when he heard you talking.

He clenches his teeth together and curses to himself. He didn’t like that you were apprehensive about his intentions - wondering just how far you were willing to divulge into your gut feeling.

He pulls out his phone and texts the people working for him that are responsible for getting your room together, asking them to speed up the process for a bigger pay. Getting the two of you apart would be better for him, thinks.

After he sends the message, he walks into the room and greets the two fo you. He notices your small side step closer to John B, hiding half your body behind his back. You were shy, he notes, which makes him feel a little better about the situation. But how long until you convince John B or your other friends about him?

“Good news,” Ward says, looking at you. “Just got word from the interior designers. They think they can have your room ready by the weekend.”

“Oh,” You say and glance up at your brother. “That’s okay. I don’t mind staying in here.”

“Oh come on. What teenager doesn’t want their own room?” Ward says. When you open your mouth to defend yourself, he cuts you off, deciding to use the guilty trip instead. “I think you’ll like it. These people spend a lot of time and effort into making it perfect. Rose and Sarah even helped.”

Of course that did it for you. You didn’t want to come off as ungrateful or rude by saying you still didn’t want the room. After all, so many people were involved in getting it perfect for you. And it’s probably going to be the best room you’ve ever had.

“Okay...” You say quietly.

“Great,” Ward claps his hands, feeling a weight lifted off his shoulders. The quicker he can keep you two apart, the better. “I’ll leave you two to unpacking. Dinner should be ready soon.”

When he walks out of the room, John B turns to look at you and says, “See? Harmless.”

Ward hears this and smirks to himself as he walks down the hallway.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

First night in your new room and it’s exactly how you expected it to be. Huge, beautiful, and filled with an abundance of new clothes and high tech furniture. In any other home, you’d be basking in the new luxuries presented to you, but right now, it felt like you were laying on a stack of needles.

You couldn’t sleep, constantly feeling like you were being watched. You kept looking at the ceiling, checking every corner for cameras or microphones. You flinch with each creak in the hardwood floor, even though it was probably only Sarah and Wheezie walking down the hall to use the bathroom.

Your heart was pounding in your chest and you began to sweat. Something didn’t feel right. You didn’t care if anyone in this house called you crazy. You knew something was wrong.

So you pick up your pillow and quietly open your door. You check the dark hallway for any sign of late night stragglers, then quickly tip toe downstairs to your brother’s room.

You tap on the door almost silently before opening it a crack. John B picks his head up, squinting at the light peaking into his room.

“Johnny...” You whisper.

“What?” His voice is groggy with sleep.

“I can’t sleep.”

John B grunts and rolls over to the opposite side of the bed and pats his hand on the open mattress next to him. “Get in.”

You quickly close the door behind you and hide yourself under his covers. A shy blush rushes up to your cheeks in embarrassment, hating how dependent you felt on your brother. “Thank you.”

“Just don’t hog all the covers this time,” John B smirks in his pillow, making you kick him playfully in the thigh. “Ow!”

“Shh!”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Later that week, you, the Pogues, and Sarah found the gold in a hidden well tucked under the Crain house. Excitement and glee overwhelmed you. You finally felt like you were getting somewhere and finishing what your dad started.

On your way home - home being Figure Eight - Ward walks out to greet the three of you after overhearing some of your conversation. Immediately the three you stop talking and pretend like you didn’t just make the biggest discovery of your life.

“Hey,” Ward greets them. “Where have you guys been?” He didn’t expect you guys to tell him, but he wanted to see just how far he was able to push you. The plan was to get you to trust him, well, maybe not you. He figured you were too far confident in your decision not to trust him. John B’s visions, however, may be a little clouded still.

He listened to Sarah and John B lie about spending the day on the beach and visiting Kie at the Wreck. He observed the way you wouldn’t make eye contact with him and how you hid yourself behind Sarah and John B. You still didn’t trust him. And that put him on edge.

“You know, I was thinking about taking the boat out early tomorrow morning. Why don’t you join me? My buddy brought home a thirty pound striper just the other day.”

“Tomorrow?” John B scratches his head awkwardly. Tomorrow, the six of you were supposed to pull out the rest of the gold. “I don't know...”

“Oh come on. What else you have going on?” Ward smirks. “I’m sure Sarah and Y/N can survive a couple hours without you.”

“Um...” You say quietly. You don’t know how your feel about Ward taking John B out with nothing but open water surrounding them.

“We’ll celebrate your freedom from DCS,” Ward says, again using the guilt trip, reminding John B of what Ward did for them.

John B sighs, knowing he did owe Ward everything. “Okay. Yeah. Sure.”

“Okay. It’s settled then,” Ward smiles, feeling a sense of accomplishment that his neck plan was in motion. “I won’t hold you up any longer. Go on and do whatever you kids do.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The next morning, you wake up to John B’s alarm on the nightstand.The clock reads 3:15 A.M. and you heart immediately races with anxiety. You squeeze the covers around you in your fists and sit up as soon as John B does.

“Johnny -”

“You’ll be fine, Y/N,” John B sighs. You don’t know if he sounds tired or annoyed, but it makes you cower into yourself.

“What if I came with you?” You whisper.

“He didn’t ask you. He asked me,” John B says, somewhat enjoying the idea of being alone with Ward. It would give him a chance to really bond with his girlfriend’s father. To be more than just an employee to him. “Why are you so afraid of him?”

“There’s just something about him...” You trail off. “I don’t trust him. And I don’t like that we’re going to be apart.”

“You’re going to have to learn to live without me by your side 24/7 eventually. I can’t baby you all the time.”

“Baby me?” You repeat with a glare. The pit in your stomach grows with swirling nausea.

“Yeah. I get that I’m your older brother and all and I’m supposed to protect you, but you have to learn to take of yourself too.”

“I can take care of myself,” You say, but you don’t know who you’re trying to convince. Him or you.

“Then you should be fine without me today,” John B says before walking out the door to use the bathroom. “Now, go back to sleep. I’ll catch up with you guys later. If anything happens, just call me or the Pogues.”

You drop your head onto your pillow and let out a big huff of disappointment. Nonetheless, you shut your eyes and try to get a few more hours of sleep knowing you need to be well rested before pulling up hundred pounds of gold later tonight.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When you woke up, Sarah was gone. She had to take Wheezie to her surfing lesson because Rose had a couple of her friends over for brunch served with expensive champagne and fruit cocktails.

You hid yourself away in your room for most of the day, only letting yourself out when your stomach began to grumble and the sound of gossip disintegrated into nothing as the ladies left one by one.

You were constantly checking your phone, making sure John B never tried to call you with horrible news. You tried taking deep breaths throughout the day, telling yourself there was nothing to worry about. If John B felt safe, you should too, right?

Around 1 P.M., Rose walked into the kitchen after taking what sounded like a long phone call upstairs. You could tell something was wrong. She looked stressed, but you figured it was due to a lost pearl earring or dinner plans getting canceled.

When you met her gaze, you offered a smile and quietly continued to bite on your toast. She grinned back, although her’s felt force. You didn’t want to pry, only for the sole fact that you didn’t think you could feign interest in whatever the hell was bothering her today.

“Everything okay?” You eventually ask her.

“Yes,” She says. “That was Sarah. Her sister forgot a towel for her lessons. Do you mind going upstairs to grab one for me while I find my keys? They’re in the closet. Last door at the end of the hallway.”

You nod, not wanting to set the already high strung lady off even more.

You follow her directions to the end of the hall to the linen closet that was bigger than your regular closet back at the Chateau. You look around for the beach towels next to the bath towels, but seem to come up empty. No way Rose would let one of her white stainless fluffy towels out in the sunlight.

“Which towels were you -” You freeze when the door behind you shuts and you hear the sound of a lock being turned. You swivel on your heels and twist on the door knob but it barely moves. Your heart races in your chest and you bang your fists against the wooden door. “Hey! Hey!”

“Sorry, dear,” You hear Rose say on the other side. She doesn’t sound as tense, more like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders.

“What are you doing? Let me out!”

“I’m sorry it had to come to this,” Rose says. “You and your brother have left us with no other choice.”

Your blood turns to ice from your head down to your toes, going numb with all thoughts and movements, thinking about John B still alone with Ward somewhere out in the middle of the ocean.

“What are you talking about?” Your voice isn’t as loud, lost somewhere in the shock and disbelief. “Where’s John B?”

“You’ll see him soon. Probably with your father too I suppose.”

You brows furrow together in confusion as you listen to her six inch heels trail off down the hall and stairs. Your disbelief turns into fear and ice turns into boiling blood. You pound you fists against the door, twist and pull at the door knob, and scream at the top of your lungs for her to let you out.

You think about her words. John B and your dad. Could it be your dad has been alive all this time? Or did she mean something so completely opposite that it threatened both you and your brother?

You slap the door one last time, feeling exhausted and burned out. You fall against one of the shelves and cry into your hands, barely able to come up for another breath as sobs wrack through your entire body.

You don’t know how long you sit there. Without a window or your phone for that matter - you think you left it back downstairs - you can’t tell the time of day. For all you know, it’s about midnight and John B is dead alongside your father.

Your head falls back with a heavy sigh. That’s when you look up and see a square cut out in the ceiling. An attic.

You move quickly, pushing all the towels and bed sheets off the shelves. Heaving yourself up, using the shelves and the wall, you move the square ceiling tile to the side and use the open edges to pull yourself up.

The attic is about twenty degrees hotter and thick with humid. You hike over the luxurious items they consider “storage” to get to the single window. The sun is still up but slowly moving closer to the water.

The window is stuck with paint and takes a couple tries to push it up. The fresh breeze hits your face immediately, sending goosebumps up your arms and neck. You push your head out the window. About 8 feet below is a balcony outside the master bedroom. Its a big jump with a high chance you’ll break your ankle, but anything is better than waiting to see what Ward and Rose plan to do to you.

You pull yourself over the window sill and dangle by your arms. Taking a deep breath, you drop to the balcony with a thump that sends a shock up your legs from your ankle.

“Shit,” You curse to yourself.

“What was that?” You hear Ward’s voice from the other side of the french doors that lead to his bedroom.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” You mumble, already pulling yourself over the balcony, the only way to get away.

You look down before letting go of the ledge, falling straight down on the lawn, this time rolling your right ankle at an awkward angle.

“Motherfu-”

“Y/N?” Ward looks down from the balcony with wide eyes when he sees you curled into yourself on the ground below him.

With big eyes, you run far away from the house as fast as you can. A small limp in your foot slows you down, but you refuse to look back and see if anyone is following you.

You don’t know where you’re going, only that you need to find John B wherever he might be.

You run through the woodsy area, hoping to use the trees as camouflage. Fallen branches scratch at your legs, your ankle is aching, and your muscles are on fire. You can barely see your through your teary eyes. You’re crying but you don’t know why - was it the wind? Anxiety? Fear? Grief?

You know you’re getting closer to the Cut when Ms. Lana’s street comes to view on your right. You think about running up to her front door, asking for help. She’s always looked out for you and you have a sick thought that she might know more about this because of her husband.

Lost in your own thoughts, you don’t realize someone’s coming up behind you until two hands grab at your shoulders to turn you around.

A straggled scream rips through your throat and you immediately claw at the hands that touch you. Your first thought is that it’s Ward and he’s caught up to you. You don't know what his plans are for you, but Rose didn’t make them sound promising.

“Hey, Y/N, hey. It’s me! It’s me!”

You look up at the voice you know so well that instantly helps you calm down. John B, damp and smelling like the marsh, is arms length from you, watching you with big eyes and a heaving chest as he tries catching his own breath.

“John B?” You say.

“Yeah. It’s me. You’re okay. It’s me.” When John B sees you physically relax, he pulls you in to a tight hug and you can hear his heart thumping against his ribcage.

The second he learned what Ward did to your father, he tried getting away. And when he did, he immediately thought of you. What was going to happen to you - what if Ward gets to you first? He was on his way to Figure Eight when he saw you.

When you physically calm down, John B pulls away and says, “You were right. I’m sorry. I should have listened to you. Ward - he killed Dad. He’s gone. I’m sorry.”

You cry harder for your dad, for John B, for your future. Just when you thought life was looking better, it came crumbling down.

“I’m gonna fix this. I swear to you. I’m not going to let him get away with this,” John B says, bending down to look you in the eyes. “And I’m not going to let anyone hurt you ever again. Okay? Look at me.” You force yourself to look at him and notice he’s on the verge of tears himself. “I’m going to take care of this.”

“How?” Your voice cracks.

John B has an idea in his head, but he knows you’ll never allow him to go through with it if you knew. “Do you trust me?”

You swallow the lump in your throat and reluctantly nod. “Yeah.”

“Good. We’re gonna go back to the Chateau, okay? Are you hurt? Are you able to walk there with me?” You nod. “Good,” He says. “Okay.”

“John B are you sure about this?” You ask apprehensively.

“I failed as your older brother once. I’m not going to do it again. Okay?”

You reluctantly nod. “Okay.”

“Good. Let’s go.”

#john b #john b routledge imagine #john b routledge #outer banks fic #outer banks imagine #outer banks #obx #obx fic #obx imagine

108 notes · View notes

aquirius555-musings · 3 years

Text

Pursuing Your Purpose Over Grabbing the Bag

The Necessity of Motivation in Pursuit of Wealth

Being a witch with ADHD can be contradictory at times. And now is one of them. I am confident that wealth follows and it does not lead. I am comfortable not leading my life in pursuit of wealth. However, I am still a human existing on this planet, a planet where wealth not only leads, but having some form of income is a necessity for survival. For most, a steady income is a necessity for creating a comfortable, safe, and healthy environment to prosper in this decaying world.

I am in a position where I have less wealth than I ever have before, but I have also achieved more dreams than I ever have before. I am living in a place I have dreamed about since I was young. I am living among the mountains and the great glory of this Earth’s nature and all it has to offer. I am living with and building a family of humans and animals that love me greatly and our soulmates of mine. I am living as a witch who believes in my value and abilities.

These things drive my passion, my hope, and my willingness to do more than simply survive. My willingness to always push to be thriving. What doesn’t drive this will to live fully is paid work, perceived achievement/success, and valuing profit.

It is very difficult for me to “show up” as my full self or with 100% energy when I am not intrinsically motivated by the values I consider most important. These are things I typically do and express in spades. Especially, in critical situations and oftentimes to a fault or to the great annoyance of others.

However, I’ve learned the hard way in my adult years that when I try to pursue things that don’t fulfill my soul purpose or innermost values, I not only fail, but I suffer greatly, relapse, and regress.

ADHDilemma

As I referenced in my introductory post, I was a high-achiever growing up. This is also a result of being an AFAB person and an empath with severe ADHD. I knew all the rules, I studied hard, I hyper-focused, I hyper-felt, I had way too many varied interests that were always changing, I wanted to win, to be loved as I was, and I took rejection and torment to heart. This allowed me to rise up as a star student, star sibling, star employee. I masked the qualities and behaviors that I was ashamed of or the ones that led to torment, rejection, or guilt.

You see, I could read other people and knew when I was upsetting them or when they were intentionally upsetting me. This made it easy to designate different emotions, behaviors, reactions, and conflicts into different buckets in my head. There were buckets that were safe to dump out in public, within a specific system, or with certain people, and others that were not. I became a masked person instead of myself.

What societal rules mixed with my persona and neuro-status didn’t allow me to do was love myself, and therefore, it prevented me from being a star-friend, or at least being friends with those who had my best interest at heart. More than that, the lack of love I had for myself regressed my ability to be a caretaker for myself, to be spiritually aligned, and ultimately to be happy. I let so many people victimize me throughout my life because of this and therefore have accumulated my own traumas along the way.

I have now learned so much about myself, unlearned so many unhealthy habits and behaviors, worked through a lot of trauma, embraced so many emotions and qualities about myself. This makes it heartbreakingly difficult for me to face what I call “the old me”. I really do not align with this person anymore, and I don’t really feel them in me at the deepest levels, but at the surface they are fully present.

Old Habits Die Slowly and Painfully

This “old me” knew how to present on LinkedIn, in the professional world, knew how to do what I needed to do to get the job, to fit in, to lead the group, to follow the leader. Whatever was needed of me, I did it.

I am now in a really tough financial position. I don’t have enough money to pay my bills, get medicine, go to therapy, take my pets to the vet*, get groceries, get more soil for my plants, etc. I know that I need to make money, and I know that the thing stopping me has been restraining myself from pursuing higher-income gigs. I have been fearful that I won’t “make it” in this new field that I am pursuing and that I left my corporate job to pursue. This has been stopping me from taking the leap into freelance writing gigs, into seeking out magazines or sites to submit stories too, to recording my first podcast episode, to finish setting up my profiles for freelance sites that are connected to my LinkedIn or require examples of my work.

*Both my pets had full vet exams in April, I have simply not been able to afford a visit to a new vet for either pet since we moved. They are healthy.

Instead of going for these things that may make me more money AND fulfill the want and need I have to try to write and create content for things I am passionate about, I am settling for much less. Getting low $/hour to do low-brain-capacity work. A big part of this is feeling like I won’t be represented as I am now and for what I want to be doing, but rather for the “old me” because of the work I’ve done in the past for tech companies or consultants. The buyers of the work I want to do won’t have any specifically-relevant work to review. And the buyers of the work I used to do don’t want someone like me and I don’t want to write for those types of topics anyway.

So why am I stopping myself from presenting in my full form online? Why am I not believing in myself to do the things I went to school for, live and breathe and consciously learn about with my time?

Because I was always told that to succeed in business or in any field or industry, you need experience, presentation, professionalism, etc. And these things have always been defined through a straight, white, and male-driven lens. This means no tattoos, no colored hair, no piercings, no political issues or talk (even though what I want to discuss isn’t political to me, even if it’s politicized by the public). Why, no matter how much I oppose and despise those who set these “precedents and standards” do I still give in to them?

Because old habits die slowly, painfully, and only with a lot of work and resilience is it even possible.

Shadow Work Makes a Great Assassin!

The only one qualified to kill off these old, and frankly unwelcome, habits is with an old friend - Shadow Work. Suffice it to say, I think all of this means that Shadow Work is calling my name. It’s time to have a real focus on this as I also work to pursue my creative and professional dreams.

Shadow work allows us all to go inside and break down these old habits, old traumas, old blocks that come back our way to try and break down our soul. Consulting, tending to, and loving your shadow self can allow one to break free of these things, or even better, allow them to work for you and propel you on your journey to achieve your soul’s purpose.

To get started, I am working with this very poignant Full Moon that takes place tomorrow at its highest illumination. I have some shadow-work journal prompts, a Full Moon spell, and a ritual planned.

I guess sometimes, being an ADHD witch has it’s upsides too. Witchcraft is a tool that really helps me live a meaningful life despite the struggles that come with my ADHD. I am who I am, and embracing the intersections of these two identifying pieces of me allows me to pursue my soul’s purpose.

- Aquirius (July 2021)

#soulpurpose #purpose #witch #witchcraft #ADHD #AFAB #Enby #ADHDWitch #Writer #Shadow Work #Wealth #MakingMoney #BreakingHabits #BadHabits #ProjectAquirius #MyStory

29 notes · View notes

alicanta77 · 4 years

Text

Finale: All or Nothing

Pairing: y/n x Haechan

Themes: angst, fluff, suspense(?)

Warnings: swearing, zombies, blood, violence, death, virus, illness, anxiety, mentions of abusive family, needles (one injection)

Words: 12.4k

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Finale

——————————————————————————

The inspiration for this story came from my amazing friend @2-cute-4-school and her story called ‘Evanescent’. Her work is so brilliant and she is such an under-appreciated writer. I can’t recommend or praise her enough. Thank you to the ends of the earth for letting me use it as a starting point.

I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who has read post mortem. This is my first series and it so special to me so it means so much to receive likes, comments and tags saying that you enjoyed it. It has brought me brilliant friends such as @in-my-neofeelings and @honei-n and I couldn’t be more thankful for that. It’s been a wild ride so far and I hope you enjoy the finale!

Felix xox

——————————————————————————

Jeno walked swiftly down the hallway. He had holding a single piece of paper, folded in half to hide what was on it and his feet were almost silent as he made his way to your room. He turned a quick corner, knocking on your door three times, pausing for a second, then knocking again twice, before letting himself in.

He closed the door behind him, twisting the lock so that it clicked, before turning around and facing the rest of you. He held up the paper in his hands.

‘I’ve mapped out the blueprint of the army base.’

I.N. spoke next, running a hand through his hair to hide the fact that it was shaking slightly.

‘I’ve figured out how to override the system.’

Wooyoung joined in, swallowing before talking.

‘I’ve sorted our weapons.’

You spoke last.

‘I’ve planned our route.’

The four of you looked around at each other, your obvious nerves making the tension levels rise.

I.N. took a deep breath.

‘Ok, so we’re all set for going back into the simulation.’

You nodded, determination taking over your mind as you shared a look with the boys in front of you.

‘Let’s blow this thing up.’

It hadn’t been easy to get organised. Especially not without drawing any attention to yourselves. Jeno had managed to draw up a map of the army base, marking the easiest route to the kill switch. He still remembered the ins and outs of that place from his summer camp, therefore was nominated the best person for the job. I.N. had spent his few days in the tech lab. He worked alongside a few other technicians, supporting people in the simulation. He quickly realised however, that they weren’t supporting them, but instead were directing packs of zombies towards them, trying to get as many people as possible to turn. It was in mindless conversations with these people that I.N. managed to ask a few questions about the system and get a vague understanding of how it worked. Wooyoung had been the one to realise that you would need weapons. Once the people here figured out that you had gone, they were going to come after you with everything they had. You knew too much. You were going to have to protect yourself, and Wooyoung managed to figure out how. And your job was to plan the way to the army base. You were hoping that I.N. could find a way to place you at the army base but, just in case, you had planned seven other routes. You had also spoken to Donghyuck’s sister, begging her to stay safe and keep her head down for the time you were away. You didn’t tell her much, only that you were going to get Donghyuck. She seemed to understand a lot more than you thought she did, as she gently held on to you while you hugged goodbye, taking the chance to whisper “do what you have to” in your ear. You had no idea if she had figured out what was really going on, but you knew you would never underestimate the girl again.

Tomorrow was the big day. Tomorrow was when it mattered. Tomorrow you went back into the simulation.

---

You were lying in bed that night, Jeno next to you as you chatted with each other about random things, trying to ease your nerves. You were glad that he hadn’t left you alone, instead claiming that he would wait for you to fall asleep before heading back to his own room.

‘What do you think will happen to us in there?’ He asked, changing the subject from whether starfish have feelings to the task ahead of you.

‘I don’t know.’ You answered honestly. ‘Probably what happened before, except harder. There are more zombies and we have to be careful not to get bitten. I mean, we always were careful but... everything relies on us now.’

‘As long as one of us makes it we’ll be okay.’ He reasoned, keeping his eyes on the ceiling above him. ‘We’re gonna get to see everyone again too.’

‘Yeah.’ You breathed out, your mind filled with the memories of Hyuck and you couldn’t begin to imagine what it would feel like to see him again. ‘It feels like it’s been a lifetime since I saw them last.’

‘I know.’ Jeno replied. And he really did. Since you both got your real memories back, your friendship had gone right back to normal. It was such a relief to have someone who understood the situation you were both put in, especially as it was so hard to explain.

A silence fell over the two of you for a second.

‘Are you thinking about Hyuck?’ He asked, turning his head to look at you.

‘Yeah.’ You said honestly, keeping your eyes on the ceiling and blinking back the tears that were gathering. ‘I miss him.’

‘I know you do... I also know that he misses you too, if not more. I still can’t quite wrap my mind around the fact that they actually think that we’re dead.’ Jeno looked back at the ceiling, blinking back tears of his own before you saw them. ‘Do you think they’ll believe us when we tell them about the simulation?’

‘I mean, we’ll be alive. Surely that must be proof enough?’ You wondered. ‘Although, it almost doesn’t matter whether they believe us or not. We actually don’t need them to, we just need to hit that button.’

Jeno nodded.

‘You’re right. We need to focus on shutting it down and we can properly reunite and explain everything to them once we’ve woken up again.’

You hummed in agreement, your eyes shutting slightly as tiredness began to take over you.

---

Tomorrow had arrived.

You woke up to an empty room, Jeno fulfilling his promise and heading back to his once you had fallen asleep. You looked over at the alarm clock on your bedside table, the red numbers staring back at you.

9:37am

You were meeting the boys in Wooyoung’s room at 10am, as per I.N.’s request, meaning you had 20 minutes. You lay in bed for a short while, the thought of what you were preparing to do occupying your mind, before climbing out and heading towards the shower.

After a quick shower, you dried off and pulled on some more clothes. All the clothes supplied here were the same, tracksuit bottoms and a t shirt, the colours just varied every day. Today you had white bottoms and a white t shirt as well. You pulled them on before walking towards your door. You opened it, stepped into the hallway and began making your way to Wooyoung’s room.

---

By the time you arrived, the other boys were already there. There was a heavy silence in the air, it was clear that they’d been discussing something before you’d arrived.

‘What wrong?’ You asked, afraid of what they were about to tell you.

‘Dr Kim is in the pod room. He booked it last night and apparently won’t be leaving for the rest of the week.’ Jeno explained.

Your brows furrowed slightly in confusion.

‘Ok, that’s not good, not at all. Is Dr Kim-’

‘The one you overheard with Jeno? Yes.’ I.N. cut you off. ‘Look, we can’t waste any time. I say that, as soon as he leaves the room, we go in, lock the door, and get into that simulation.’

The three of you nodded in agreement.

‘I.N’s right.’ Wooyoung said. ‘We don’t have time to wait for an opening, we’re gonna need to create one. We can hear the door opening from here so, as long as we are near, we can make sure to take that gap.’

‘There’s something else.’ I.N. abruptly mentioned. You and the two other boys turning to look at him quizzically. ‘The three of you are going in alone.’

‘What? I.N. wait-’

‘No, let me explain.’ I.N. interrupted Wooyoung’s protest. You didn’t know how to feel, you had been prepared for all of you going in, you weren’t sure how you were going to leave him behind. ‘The three of you are going in alone because you have to. Firstly, in order to get into the simulation, someone else has to “authorise” it, for lack of a better word. You are going to be lying in a pod, and I’m going to “authorise” you going in. No matter what we try and do, one of us would always have to stay behind. And it has to be me. The three of you are much more suited for the challenge ahead, I’m just the brains of the operation. Plus, I’ve got to make sure that no one can follow you in or pull you out, therefore I need to stay here. Besides, from out here I can throw them off your scent, hack into the camera system to make sure that the cameras don’t follow you, and other things like that.’

He looked around at you, easily telling from your faces that you clearly weren’t okay with this development.

‘I.N. we need all four of us. We can do this if we’re together.’ Jeno pleaded, but I.N. simply shook his head.

‘You can do this alone.’

‘No I.N. we need you. Like you said you’re the brains of this and what if we come across a problem that you know how to solve but we don’t? You have to come with us.’ You begged him, but he didn’t change his opinion.

‘You have to trust me on this. You need to leave me behind.’

Wooyoung was the only one who hadn’t said anything, just staring at his friend sadly.

‘You know they’ll punish you for us going in right? You’re going to pay for the consequences of our actions.’ Wooyoung whispered, obviously scared for what would happen once you leave.

‘I know.’ I.N. replied, his voice quiet but surprisingly calm. ‘But that should buy you guys some time. And you’re going to need all the time you can get.’

The three of you nodded, finally understanding that, even if I.N. wanted to, he couldn’t join you in the simulation. He needed to protect you from the outside.

‘Just... promise me one favour?’ I.N. asked.

‘Anything.’ Wooyoung guaranteed.

‘Let them know that I’m okay. Especially Chan... please just make sure he’s not blaming himself.’ He whispered.

You felt yourself nodding. You couldn’t help but let your mind drift off to the boys who were in there, waiting for you. You thought of how Renjun had argued with you not to become a raider in the first place, claiming that he just wanted you to be safe. You thought of how Jaemin had only ever asked one thing of you, and that was for you to stay alive. You thought of how desperate San had been to stay with you when you had told him to leave you behind. And you thought of how Donghyuck had looked when you told him you were going on that final run. You thought of how you could see every part of him want to tell you “no”. You thought of how many times he had pulled you in for a hug and begged to stay with him. And you thought of how he had looked when he sat by your grave. They needed to know that you were okay. They needed to know that you didn’t blame them. They needed to know that you loved them.

The sound of a door opening and harsh footsteps treading down the hallway next to you interrupted your thoughts. The four of you froze, listening to the muttering voice of Dr Kim disappearing down the corridor as he muttered about being interrupted.

‘The room’s empty.’ I.N. stated.

Jeno stood up, quietly opening the door and checking that it was clear before turning back to the rest of you.

‘Let’s go.’

---

‘This better be important.’ Dr Kim stormed into his office. ‘I have other business to attend to.’

‘Sir, you’re going to want to see this.’

The head doctor, Dr Kim, turned his head towards the voice of his assistant. On their computer screen was a video, a video of your conversation from last night. Dr Kim leaned on the desk in front of him as he listened to the four of you talk.

‘Ok, so we’re all set for going back into the simulation.’

‘Yes. Let’s blow this thing up.’

Dr Kim took a deep breath as he tried to make sense of this development.

‘How did they find out?’ He asked, his voice quiet but the anger clear.

‘We don’t know.’ His assistant replied. ‘But they’re planning to head back into the simulation and shut it down. They’ve... they’ve found the kill switch.’

Dr Kim’s eyes shot to his assistant, who once again shrugged, answering the question he hadn’t yet asked.

‘Then the answer is simple. We need to stop them. Shut down the pod room, no one goes in and I want to be alerted if there is any attempt to override the system. And you-’ Dr Kim clicked at the bodyguard on his right side. ‘Let’s go pay our little heroes a visit. I think they’re in need of a few new memories, don’t you?’

---

You watched as I.N. shut the door tight behind him, making sure to twist the lock. He stopped briefly, taking a quick look around before beginning his instructions.

‘Ok, Wooyoung, go into that cupboard and grab the solution that’s there, y/n, find me a syringe and Jeno, go and open three of those pods.’

You all nodded, quickly scrambling to fulfil your orders. You were pulling open random drawers, desperately looking for a syringe for I.N. to use. You were on your seventh when you finally found it. You turned around triumphantly, holding it out for I.N. to take when the lights surrounding the door went red and a low electronic groan echoed out.

‘What was that?’ Jeno asked to no one in particular.

‘We don’t have time to wait around and find out.’ I.N. grabbed the syringe out of you hand while uttering those words. The tension was unbearable, all of you knowing that you had a very short amount of time before you were caught.

What none of you knew was that, you had already run out of time.

---

Dr Kim threw open Wooyoung’s door, a shout of frustration leaving his mouth as he found it empty. He had been to all of your rooms in an attempt to find you. He stormed into the corridor again, his eyes drifting to the pod room down the hall. He walked up towards the door, pressed his ear against the wood, and listened.

His guard behind him had a hand on his gun as he watched Dr Kim’s face transform into an expression of absolute rage.

‘They’re in there.’ He forced through gritted teeth. He turned around and looked at his guard before shouting. ‘Get this door open!’

The guard moved forwards immediately, putting the gun back in its holster and attempting to kick down the door. After a few tries he turned around.

‘It won’t budge. It needs to be opened from the control room.’ He informed the doctor in front of him.

Dr Kim let out a strangled scream and lunged forward to grab the radio off the guard’s waist. He lifted it up to his mouth and spoke into it, shouting instructions at the people in the control room.

‘I want the door to the pod room open right now!’

‘But Dr Kim, if that-’ A static voice came through from the other side, giving him some excuse as to why he needed to wait.

‘I don’t care! Open the door now!’ Dr Kim threw the radio back at the guard in front of him and watched as the lights around the door changed from a red to white, signalling that it was unlocked.

He threw the door open and burst into the room.

---

‘Get this door open!’

Dr Kim’s voice travelled through the door separating you and the four of you inside looked at each other in fear.

‘Jeno, quick! Come here.’ I.N. instructed, moving the syringe so that it was close to his neck. He had already given you and Wooyoung injections, only Jeno’s was left. He pulled the syringe out, ready to send you back into the simulation. ‘Go and lie in a pod and close the door on top of you.’

His voice was sharp and clear, not a single trace of fear in it, the only thing betraying him were his slightly shaking hands. You could hear a loud bang come from the door as you ran towards the closest pod. You turned back towards I.N. as a thought crossed your mind.

‘I.N.!’ You called out, only getting a hum in response. ‘Can you do me a favour?’

I.N. looked up at you for a split second, his expression conveying all he needed to say.

Now is not the time to ask questions but yes, what do you need?

‘Please, look after Hyuck’s sister for me? Make sure that she’s okay.’

I.N. nodded.

‘I promise.’

You felt a small amount of relief flow through you. You were leaving without speaking to her so you were glad to know that she would be protected. You quickly lay down in your open pod, pulled the door down over you, and, as the door clicked shut, you were encased in a pale blue light.

A few seconds passed before I.N’s voice came through.

‘Ok, I can’t seem to put you straight into the army base for some reason, the location is locked on here and I don’t have time to figure out how to hack it, but I’m going to drop you as close as I can. It’s in the nearby city and looks like it’s just under half a day’s walk away.’

You took a deep breath as you mentally pictured the maps you had drawn up. You knew you had planned some routes that went through nearby cities, you just weren’t sure which on you were going to be dropped in.

‘If I remember correctly from when we went in, you’re going to get very drowsy in a minute, just relax into it. Let the simulation take you okay? Don’t panic.’

He paused for a minute, leaving you in silence, your own breathing being the only thing you could hear. You could feel your eyes begin to relax and the tiredness swept through your veins. You could feel your heart rate begin to rise, all the memories from the simulation flooding back through your mind. Your father’s death, Jeno’s death, Donghyuck’s sister’s death, the first girl you killed. But you forced those pictures out of your mind. This time wasn’t going to be like that. You were prepared. You weren’t going in there to just fight for your life, you were going in there to save everyone. I.N.’s voice came back over the speakers, just as you lost consciousness completely.

‘Good luck.’

---

You opened your eyes.

You were surprised to find yourself standing up. You were stood in the middle of a road, clearly on an abandoned high street. The shops up and down the pavement were empty, some even having been looted. You turned to look around you, spotting Wooyoung and Jeno a little further down.

You took an experimental step, relieved when you didn’t go crashing to the ground, and took off in a jog. Both of the boys saw you moving towards them and came forwards to meet you halfway.

You came to a halt when you reached them, the three of you standing in silence.

‘Well...’ Wooyoung spoke, his eyes constantly darting around your surroundings. ‘We made it.’

‘Yeah, I guess we did.’ You mumbled, your eyes looking down at the ground. It was only when you did this, did you realise the clothes that you were wearing. ‘Oh my god! I’m in the clothes I died in.’ You realised, both Jeno and Wooyoung’s eyes darting to their bodies as well.

You recognised Jeno’s outfit from the final day at Mark, the sight of him running through the infested house on the monitors was not one that you would easily forget, and judging from Wooyoung’s shocked face, he was also wearing what he had been killed in.

‘Wow. Yeah, thankfully the clothes from just before we died. Cause, you know, there wouldn’t be much left of mine otherwise.’ Jeno’s shot a smile at the two of you.

You stared at him in disbelief, a laugh leaving you despite the circumstances.

‘Only you could joke about blowing yourself up like that.’ You chuckled.

But Wooyoung whirled around to stare at Jeno.

‘You blew yourself up?’ He asked, as Jeno nodded in confirmation.

‘Yeah, just pulled the pin on a grenade and ran into a group of zombies.’ He shrugged like it was no big deal, causing Wooyoung to stare at you.

‘It’s true.’ You informed him. ‘We were in the floor above. The blast knocked us off our feet.’ Your voice got quieter towards the end. Even though Jeno was very much alive, listening to the blast and coming down to the wreckage of Mark’s kitchen wasn’t an easy thing to forget.

Jeno placed a hand on your shoulder, sending you a comforting smile. You sent one back before turning to Wooyoung again.

‘But what about you? San told me all about your heroics, sacrificing yourself so that they could get into the army base.’ You grinned at him, watching as Wooyoung blushed slightly.

‘I’m not the only one though, who sacrificed myself for San am I?’ He asked, looking you directly in the eye.

Your smile shrunk slightly, leaving only a sad one on your lips.

‘We weren’t both making it out of that alive.’

You all fell into silence after you spoke those words, all replaying the scenes of your own deaths in your minds. It wasn’t something you ever expected to be haunted with, but here you were, stumbling back through this wasted version of the world, being stalked by your own ghost.

‘Let’s just get our weapons and move on?’ You suggested, breaking the tension as both boys nodded in agreement.

‘If I remember correctly...’ Wooyoung muttered, mainly to himself as he walked through a broken shop window. He disappeared for a while, making yours and Jeno’s hearts race in fear. You had forgotten the terror that came along with losing sight of someone for a few seconds in this climate.

His head popped up again, a childish smile on his face.

‘Found it.’ He informed you, even though neither you nor Jeno had any clue as to what “it” was.

‘You know,’ Wooyoung continued. ‘I.N. actually couldn’t have dropped us in a better place, I grew up around here and I know that the owner of this store was very paranoid about people stealing his things. So he had a secret compartment put in, and filled it with these.’

Wooyoung appeared over the top again, this time holding a gun in each hand. They were large guns, similar to the kind that you had used at Mark’s. He handed one to each of you and then grabbed one more for himself. He also pulled a box out that was filled with cases of spare bullets.

‘I thought we might need these too.’ He said as he unzipped a backpack on the floor, emptying the contents and filling it again with the cases of bullets and a few spare pistols. He also made sure to hand both you and Jeno a handgun.

‘How do you know all of this?’ Jeno asked, his eyes wide at the sight in front of him.

‘Hmmm? Oh I worked here part time. It paid quite well actually. He only ever took on three students a year so it was really competitive.’ Wooyoung replied.

‘So he told all his employees about this? How come no one else took these?’ You wondered aloud.

‘Oh no. He didn’t tell all of his employees. Only me.’ Wooyoung corrected you.

‘Well, please don’t take this the wrong way, but why you?’

Wooyoung looked up at Jeno’s question, diverting his eyes from the gun in front of him.

‘Simple. He liked me.’

Another large smile broke out across the boy’s face, one that made you smile with him, without realising it. Wooyoung was such a happy virus, someone who could make people happy or brighten their day without even trying. Your mind drifted to Donghyuck. The only boy who could make you smile even in the worst of circumstances. You missed him. You missed him so much that it physically hurt. It sometimes felt like he was the only thing keeping you going.

‘Right.’ Wooyoung’s voice cut through your train of thought. ‘Shall we go?’

You opened your mouth to answer but before you got a chance to, a low groan sounded through the high street. It was a noise that you hadn’t heard for a while, but nevertheless, still managed to send a chill of terror down your spine.

You turned slowly and made eye contact with the zombie staring at you through the broken store window.

---

‘Where are they?’ The Dr Kim bellowed as he burst into the camera room. ‘I want eyes on the three of them right now!’

All he got in response were frantic nods from the staff as they combed through every camera that they possibly could to find the four of you.

‘Doctor! I found them.’ A voice from the far left called out.

‘Put them up on the screen.’ Dr Kim instructed, watching as the main screen on the wall lit up with a picture of you all walking through the empty high street.

‘That street... I know that street.’ Dr Kim mused. He turned to the guard on his left and barked an instruction. ‘You, go to y/n’s room and grab the papers on her bed.’

The guard left immediately, running down the corridor.

‘Send a zombie their way.’

The staff nodded in response to his request and watched as you turned to look at the zombie now watching you through the window. Dr Kim focused as Wooyoung pulled the gun up and shot it through the head immediately, not wasting a second.

‘They’re not afraid to kill anymore. They know that they’ll only wake the person up. I want them out of there as soon as possible.’

‘Do you want us to organise for them to die? Or to pull their pods out?’ One of the crew asked.

‘No.’ Dr Kim muttered. ‘They know too much, and there’s no guarantee that they won’t figure it out again. Fake memories are hard to create and even harder to make last, our best chance was putting the two of them into a relationship. If that didn’t work before it’s not worth wasting the time and resources to try and do it again.’

‘So, what should we do doctor?’ The same person questioned.

‘There’s only one answer really, they can’t leave. We have to make sure they turn. Push forwards the mutation of the virus. What stage are we at currently?’

‘Stage 3 out of 5.’ Another voice appeared from somewhere in the room, Dr Kim didn’t know and didn’t care where.

‘Mutate it. I want stage 5. Enable the virus to be transmitted through insects. If they get bitten by an infected mosquito, I want them infected, if they eat a vegetable grown near infected bugs in the soil, I want the disease to travel to the food, if they smell a flower pollinated by a bee, I want that bee to be infected and I want the virus to transmit to them. Understand?’

He looked around at the staff behind him, all of them shouting agreement with his plan and turning towards their computers to put it into action.

The guard appeared again, holding out the papers towards Dr Kim. The doctor practically ripped them out of his hands, rolling them out on the table in front of him. He pointed to one drawing in particular.

‘Look, they’ve planned their route.’ He could now see exactly the journey you were planning to take to reach the army base. He checked the screen and saw the mutated virus already starting to have effects. He smiled and turned to the staff in front of him. ‘What do you say we send a few old friends to break up the party?’

---

Wooyoung reacted before either you or Jeno could, pulling the gun into position and shooting a bullet straight into the zombie’s forehead. You watched as its body hit the ground with a dull thud.

‘Jesus.’ Wooyoung breathed. ‘I forgot how terrifying seeing one of those was.’

Jeno turned around where he was and sent Wooyoung a nod.

‘Yeah me too, thanks.’

Wooyoung shrugged it off.

‘Probably better for them right? I mean, they’re gonna wake up now.’

‘Yeah, you’re right’ You piped up. ‘We can’t be afraid to pull the trigger anymore. We know nothing bad is going to happen so just, aim for the head so that it’s quick and doesn’t leave them in pain.’

Jeno and Wooyoung nodded slowly. As well as the three of you knew what was waiting for you on the outside of the simulation, and that dying here was nothing to be afraid of, it was still difficult to pull that trigger.

‘We seriously need to move, we don’t want to stop if we can help it.’ Wooyoung said, hoisting the bag over his shoulder.

Jeno turned to you expectantly, waiting to see what direction you were going in.

‘Ok, from the routes I created, we need to head West from here. Luckily for us, there’s an almost direct path from where we are now, to the army base.’

You pointed in the direction you needed to head as you spoke, Wooyoung nodding in agreement. Having someone around who knew these areas would be incredibly useful.

The three of you set off, your hands firmly on your weapons as you began your trek to the army base. You walked all the way down the high street, crossing the empty roads to take other paths. You ensured that you always took the largest street possible, not wanting to meet a group of zombies in a tight alleyway.

All the minutes seemed to blur into one as you walked. Your mind began to wander and you thought of I.N. You wondered if he had gotten into trouble when they had found him alone in the pod room. You were scared that they were going to wipe his memories again, but you were even more afraid that they were going to hurt him. You hoped that he had stayed true to his word and that he was looking after Donghyuck’s sister. You were praying that she would be okay.

The tall buildings gradually began to shrink as you left the centre of the town you were dropped in. Jeno was a few steps ahead of the rest of you and Wooyoung, naturally walking at a faster pace. The silence between the three of you was getting louder with every step when suddenly, the low groan that you had not missed in the slightest, cut through. Your heart sank, out of annoyance rather than fear.

That annoyance quickly evolved into fear when you recognised the zombie leading the silent pack walking towards you.

It was Hongjoon.

Someone who had run the army base when you were there. He had offered you support before and after every run, he had been there to listen anytime you needed to talk. You knew he was someone who could be trusted.

But here he was. In front of you, stumbling forward as though he had no idea who you were.

Wooyoung didn’t move, his voice shaking slightly as he tried to talk.

‘Hyung?’

Hongjoon’s eyes shot towards his younger friend, opening slightly wider for a second, as if in recognition, before they turned back to you, narrowed, and he shot forwards. He moved like lightening, you only had a second to shout out before you were on the ground, underneath Hongjoon who was biting at you with everything he had.

Wooyoung pulled his gun into position and aimed at his friend’s head. He could hear your shouts as you pushed against the infected boy with all your might, yet he didn’t pull the trigger.

‘Wooyoung, shoot!’ You screamed. ‘It’s not real! Shoot!’

A shot rang out and Hongjoon collapsed on top of you. You rolled him off you and on to the ground and looked up. It wasn’t Wooyoung who had fired, it was Jeno. Jeno grabbed you by the hand and pulled you up. He turned to shoot an accusing look at Wooyoung, preparing to say something, but he was interrupted by the rest of the crowd of zombies breaking out into a run behind you.

The three of you took off. You tried leading the boys on your planned route to the army base but more zombies just appeared from that direction.

‘How are there so many all of a sudden?’ Jeno asked in between breaths.

‘I don’t know!’ You said, frustration bubbling up inside you. ‘It’s almost as if they’re spawning here.’ Then a sudden realisation dawned on you. ‘The lab must have found our plans. They know our route, we have to find another way.’

Jeno’s eyes widened in desperation, the both of you wracking your brains in an attempt to think of an escape plan. You hadn’t noticed that in an attempt to escape the undead hoard chasing you, you had circled back and were heading back into the main city.

Suddenly, Wooyoung’s voice rang out.

‘I know a way. Follow me.’

He sped up as he ran back into the streets of the city he knew. You and Jeno both followed, piling on the extra speed in order to keep up. You turned a sharp corner a few seconds after Wooyoung and found him attempting to open a manhole cover. Jeno crouched down next to him to help and, together, they lifted the metal cover off. It was on hinges so it should be easy to close after you.

‘You’ve gotta be kidding me.’ You groaned.

‘It’s either down here with a few rats, or out there with them.’ Wooyoung nodded in the direction of the zombies. Their footsteps getting dangerously loud.

You sighed, nodding in agreement. Wooyoung climbed in first and then Jeno held out a hand to offer you help.

‘No.’ You bluntly refused.

‘No? y/n I thought you said you were ok going in? We don’t have-’

‘Not that kind of no.’ You cut him off. ‘I’m going in, I’m just going in last.’

You could see Jeno was confused so you explained hurriedly, trying to keep your voice as steady and as hard as possible. But you didn’t quite manage to stop it form shaking.

‘The last time you offered to go last was at Mark’s and the next think I knew, I was watching you die. I don’t care if this is a simulation, I’m not risking it again.’

Jeno’s expression completely changed. He looked like he wanted to say something but Wooyoung voice travelled up from below before he could.

‘What the hell is taking you two so long? Don’t worry, I know these tunnels.’

Jeno swung his legs into the manhole, climbing down the ladder quickly. You waited until he was a few rungs down before lower yourself in too. You had just got your lower body in and you were reaching for the lid when the first zombie skidded around the corner. It let out a sort of yell, almost in triumph, and you slamming the cover shut over you. You bent yourself in half slightly, not being far enough down the ladder to close the top and stand up straight.

You thought that would be okay but the lid started to move up again and you got a glimpse of the zombie trying to open it.

‘Wooyoung! How do I shut this?’ You screamed down.

‘The wheel on the inside. Turn it!’ Wooyoung yelled back, the panic clear in his voice.

If you didn’t get this wheel locked it would be game over.

You tried to step down slightly, not being able to pull the door down with force at the angle you were standing. However, it was incredibly difficult as you had both your hands on the wheel above you. You placed another foot down, but this time you misjudged where the step was and slipped. You went down about two rungs, a yelp escaping you as you did so.

‘Y/n!’ Wooyoung screamed from the floor.

You felt a strong hand come up and grab the back of your thigh, steadying you.

‘You’re okay. Now, close it.’ Jeno’s words brought you right back down to earth and filled you with the strength you needed.

You gave the cover a powerful tug, yanking the wheel to the right as you did so. You kept both hands there, turning the wheel until you couldn’t physically turn it anymore. Eventually you stilled, your hands stopping their frantic movements.

You stood where you were, pausing just to catch your breath.

‘We’ve gotta keep moving.’ Wooyoung’s voice echoed up through the tunnel and you nodded.

You released the metal wheel above you, instead grabbing the ladder and lowering yourself down onto the floor.

‘Let’s go. I know a path into the woods, I’m pretty sure that it has an exit close to the army base.’

Wooyoung made to move off but Jeno’s hand shot out, grabbing him by the shoulder, stilling his movements.

‘Not so fast kiddo.’ He said, staring the shorter male down.

‘I’m older than you.’ Wooyoung muttered, his eyes facing the floor. Despite the fact that Wooyoung was older, it was obvious who had the power in this verbal exchange.

‘You didn’t take the shot.’ Jeno said, watching as Wooyoung swallowed. ‘You had a clear shot, you wouldn’t have hit y/n, but you didn’t take the shot. Instead you put her in danger, and in turn, endangering everything that we’re trying to do here. You know it’s not going harm them. Why didn’t you take the shot?’

‘I tried to. But he was still my friend. I was staring at the face of my friend. I know that he’s going to wake up, and that he’s probably better off dead than as one of those, but... I just didn’t think it would be that hard to pull the trigger. I’ve done it plenty of times. Hell, I even did it earlier today, but when I was looking into the eyes of someone I knew... I couldn’t do it.’

Jeno sighed deeply. You could tell that he understood where Wooyoung was coming from.

‘Ok.’ He said, Wooyoung looking up in shock at how fast Jeno moved on from it. ‘No one got hurt, and hopefully by taking this route we shouldn’t have to see anyone else.’

Wooyoung smiled thankfully, turning around and pointing down the tunnel.

‘It’s this way.’

And once again, you set off.

---

Your throat was dry, your legs ached and you were tired. You had been walking for hours and you were worried that it was going to be dark when you left the safety of these tunnels. Wooyoung wasn’t lying when he said that he knew them well, from the easy way he was guiding you through them, he had clearly spent a lot of time in them when he was younger. You had to admit that Wooyoung had made himself an invaluable member of your team. You really had no idea how you could have gotten this far without him.

As thankful as you were to everything Wooyoung had done so far, you had never loved him more than when he told you that you could stop walking. He approached the ladder in front of him, gently placing his hands on either side and whispering.

‘This is it.’

He climbed first, turning the wheel to unlock it at the top and wincing as it creaked loudly as he pushed it open. Wooyoung paused with it open slightly, listening for the tell tale noises of the undead, and then continued to open it completely.

You climbed out of the top, savouring the fresh air, pausing to listen for a guttural groan or ominous footsteps but, instead, you were greeted with a blissful silence.

Well, almost blissful.

‘Careful!’

A voice echoed through woods, a voice strangely familiar that caused both yours and Jeno’s head shoot up.

‘That sounded like Renjun.’ You whispered breathlessly, the thought of seeing your longest friend after what had felt like an eternity was almost alien to you.

‘I know. But it can’t have been him, he’s at the base.’ Jeno reasoned.

‘Jaemin, you ridiculously stupid moron.’ The voice appeared again, causing you and Jeno to share a smile.

‘No.’ Jeno’s eyes curved up into crescents. ‘That’s Renjun.’

‘Renjun!’ You shouted out, starting to jog towards where you had heard him before.

You didn’t get a reply, causing to you panic as an indescribable feeling of sadness took over you.

‘Renjun, it’s the grief. It can cause you to hear people when they’re not there.’

‘I’m not an idiot, San. I know my best friend’s voice.’

Your heart sped up again, warmth spreading throughout your entire body as you called out.

‘Renjun?’

This time you got a reply.

‘Y/n?’ You heard footsteps speed up, getting louder as they got closer to you. ‘Oh please be real, please be real, please be-’

Renjun turned into your line of vision, his words and movements stopping suddenly as he laid eyes on you. You smiled at him, tears starting to blur your vision.

‘Hi.’ You said.

That was all it took. Renjun threw himself forwards, pulling you in for the tightest hug you had ever felt in your life. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and hugged him back, feeling his tears begin to wet your neck.

‘You’re real. I knew it, you’re real.’

His words got lost in a haze of disbelief and shock at the sight of you standing in front of him, alive.

He pulled away, cupping your hands with his face, wiping away the tears that had fallen. He just stared at you, utter amazement gracing his features. Then, finally, a smile broke out. The largest smile you had ever seen. He wrapped his arms back around your waist, pulling you around in a circle as he screamed happily into the air.

‘I was right!’

It was at this moment that Jeno, Jaemin and San also found their way to where you were. You pulled away from Renjun, staring at the two boys behind him as Renjun’s eyes locked on to Jeno. You stroked Renjun’s face one last time as you moved away. Renjun hit Jeno at full force, hugging him tight and bursting into tears again. You didn’t move, looking only at Jaemin. He was staring back at you, clearly not knowing what to say.

So you smiled.

‘Miss me?’ You asked, watching as Jaemin’s face broke out into a smile matching yours and he laughed with glee as he ran towards you. He picked you up in a hug, his laughter never stopping. You couldn’t help but laugh back. He put you down, finally managing to get some words out.

‘Oh god I missed you so much. You’re alive!’

You nodded, the smile on your face was starting to hurt but you couldn’t make it smaller even if you wanted to. You pulled away from him after a short while, allowing him to greet Jeno and you were left facing San.

San didn’t meet your eyes, instead choosing to stare at his feet.

‘San?’ You asked, hoping that he would at least look at you.

You could see the boy blinking rapidly, chewing on his bottom lip at the same time. Eventually you couldn’t take it anymore. You walked towards him and pulled him in for a hug. The second your hand made contact with his shoulder, San broke down, hugging you as tight as the others and whispering about how sorry he was.

‘Shhhhh, it wasn’t your fault. You did exactly what you should have done.’ You comforted him.

You pulled away sooner than you wanted to, but you knew he had to see Wooyoung.

‘I have a surprise for you.’ You said, smiling at him.

San sent you a teary but confused smile back, and you wordlessly grabbed his hand and turned him around.

Upon seeing Wooyoung, San moved faster than you had ever seen him move before. He shot towards the boy, Wooyoung moving forwards too as they reunited. Renjun appeared back at your shoulder, keeping an arm around you, as if to remind himself that you were really there.

‘I’m so happy you’re okay, but I have to ask, how?’

You shared a look with Jeno and called out to Wooyoung and San.

‘We’ll tell you on the way. It’s not an easy story.’

‘On the way? Wait where are you going?’ Jaemin asked, placing a hand on your chest to stop you moving.

‘Back to the army base.’ Jeno explained. ‘There’s something there that we need to do.’

Renjun and Jaemin shared a nervous look.

‘What’s happened?’ You asked, your hope diminishing by the second.

‘We’ve lost the army base.’ Renjun said bluntly. ‘People started turning from the inside, with no scratch, bite, or even contact with a zombie. It was as if it was in the air. Anyone who could abandoned the building immediately. Within under two hours it wasn’t safe anymore.’

‘Are you three the only ones who made it out?’ Wooyoung voiced the question you were too afraid to ask.

‘We don’t know.’ San chimed in. ‘The three of us left within a few seconds of each other. All we know is that we were the first out. If anyone got out after us, they can’t be far away.’

‘This isn’t part of the plan.’ You whispered, bringing your hand up to your head to rub your forehead.

‘What plan?’ Renjun asked, his eyes flickering between you and Jeno.

‘The plan. The plan that’s going to save us, to end this all.’ You rambled, not even fully sure of what you were saying.

‘End this all? Wait do you know how to stop the apocalypse?’ Jaemin asked.

‘There is no apocalypse!’ You exploded. ‘None of this is fucking real! It’s a damn simulation.’

‘A simulation...’ Renjun repeated.

‘Yes, a simulation. Aren’t the three of us proof enough that this can’t be real life. Jaemin, you shot me. In the head. How the fuck would I recover from that?’

Jaemin flinched at the reminder of your death. Jeno, noticing how your distressed state was unsettling others, tried to calm you down.

‘y/n, just breath for a minute ok?’

You whirled around.

‘No! Not okay. I’m so fucking done with this. How much hell have we been put through. I have killed people, and watched them been killed. I have lost friends, lost memories, left people behind, fought for my life and it still isn’t enough. When is this shit going to end? What more can they put me through?’

You turned towards the sky and screamed.

‘Fuck you! You hear that Dr Kim? Fuck you and your little experiment. I’m still finding a way to shut you down. Because you know what? I’m getting that happy ending. Cause after all the shit you’ve put me through, I fucking deserve it!’

You sat down, trying to catch your breath after your meltdown. You stared at the grass in front of you, ignoring the five sets of eyes watching your every move.

‘You went through something pretty rough on the outside didn’t you?’ Jaemin asked, assuming there was something more to your anger than what you had just learnt.

‘Yeah. It wasn’t easy.’ Jeno clarified. You were glad he didn’t go into more detail and even more glad that the boys didn’t ask for more.

You stood up, pulling your gun around to your front and took off.

‘Uhhh, y/n? Where are you going?’ Renjun asked.

‘To the army base.’ You declared. ‘I’m still shutting this thing down. Even if I had to do it alone.’

‘Who the hell said you were going to be doing it alone?’ Jeno’s words caused you to stop and turn around.

‘You’re coming with me?’

Jaemin shrugged, grabbing the pistol that Jeno offered him and beginning to walk towards you, the other boys all following.

‘Well, we started this together. Might as well end it that way to.’

---

The doors to the army base were open when you arrived. The wide gates were oddly unnerving, open gates were normally a symbol of welcoming, but this only reminded you of the gates to hell.

‘Remember, just get to the button and press it. That’s all we need to do so just focus on that.’ Jeno reminded you all. His voice was clear and steady, not a hint of fear in it. It was the voice of a true leader.

You stepped forward, ready to face whatever came at you.

---

You don’t know where it went so wrong.

Only you and Jeno were left alive and unbitten. The rest of you had been picked off one by one. They appeared out of nowhere, moved quickly and silently and were almost impossible to find. You had no idea what had made the zombies so dangerous all of a sudden. They had lost the slow paces of the previous kind, the fast bursts only maintained for a few seconds, and now had the agility of 20 year olds. It was as if they had retained the characteristics of the people they used to be. It was even harder to know that it was you friends picking you off just predators pick off the weakest member of the herd.

The two of you moved silently, aware of the moving shadows that signified the walking ghosts of your friends. You had only seen a few faces yet. You’d seen Chan, Changbin and Jongho as well as Mark and Chenle. It was seeing Mark and Chenle that was the most difficult, and in that minute you understood better than ever before, why Wooyoung couldn’t pull the trigger on Hongjoon.

A scream came from your left and you turned and blindly fired. You missed and watched as a figure you recognised to be Jaemin’s slunk back down the corridor.

You were only a few minutes away from the button, but at the pace you were moving, it would take you ages. You had to speed up. There was a door up ahead, one that was already open, as if it was awaiting the two of you. It only took one short shared look for the plan to be formed. You counted to three under your breath.

One

Two

Three

You threw yourself forwards, sprinting towards the open door as fast as you could, Jeno doing the same. Jeno reached the doorway before you did, and, as you cleared the distance, he slammed the door shut behind you.

You whirled around as you heard another loud bang on the door and saw Jeno pushing himself up against it to hold it in place. All of a sudden it made perfect sense as to why the door had been open.

It had no hinges.

The zombified bodies of your friends were pushing against it, clawing desperately to try and reach Jeno.

‘y/n, you have to go! Run now and find that button.’ Jeno’s voce was strained, all his energy being used to keep the door in place.

‘No, Jeno you have to go. You know the base better than I do.’ You reasoned.

‘Do you think I can go anywhere right now?’ He asked, pushing back on the door again as it began to budge. ‘Don’t be an idiot y/n, just go! I’ll hold them off for as long as I can.’

So you ran, you turned on your tail and sprinted down the hallway. You were pretty sure that you only had to get down this hallway, one set of stairs and one last door before you were at the button.

You were so close. Surely nothing could stop you now. All the zombies were upstairs, you had a free run.

You had just turned the second last corner of the corridor when you felt two hands grab your arm tightly and teeth quickly sank into the skin.

You let out a scream in pain, the zombie releasing your arm and stepping back from you, its work now done. You spun around and came face to face with the zombie who bit you.

Donghyuck.

Your heart stopped as you looked at the boy you loved. He stared back at you with no recognition, his eyes dull and his skin coloured with a sickening grey tine. You didn’t have time to mourn him. Your only hope was now getting to that button before you turned and forgot who you were. If you turned, all hope was lost and this would all have been for nothing. You knew from the last time you were bitten that you only had a few minutes, probably less if the doctors at the lab had mutated the virus. The pain in your upper arm was excruciating.

You stumbled forward, trying desperately to remember Jeno’s drawing of the army base layout. You turned a corner and came across a set of stairs, taking you down into the basement.

You took the first one, you vision starting to disappear as dark spots danced across the scene in front of you.

You took the fourth one. Focusing only on that button you had to do something with.

You landed at the bottom.

You stood there, not moving, confused beyond belief as to what you were doing. Why were you here? You had no reason to be at this level. You should be upstairs so that you could leave the base soon.

You turned around, away from the door in front of you. You looked up the stairs and saw Jeno. His eyes a cloudy white colour, and the veins across his arms and neck running black. Your eyes focused on a small black object behind him, however, something that was built into the wall, you had never noticed it before.

A camera.

You swung yourself around so that you were facing towards the door again. You knew what you were doing. You knew who you were. You knew what was behind that door.

You turned the handle, throwing yourself against it when it didn’t open. You banged the door with your shoulder, screaming in frustration when it refused to open.

You took a step back and lifted your foot. You kicked the door with all your force, relief flooding your system when it swung open. However, the momentum of the kick carried you through and you didn’t have the balance to keep yourself upright. You landed on your back, a sickening crack echoing off the walls as your head came in contact with the concrete floor.

You groaned in pain, recognising how your voice was sounding more and more like the undead’s. You summoned every bit of strength that you had and pulled yourself up so that you were on all fours.

You tucked your legs under you and pushed yourself up from the floor.

This was the room that Jeno was talking about. You vaguely registered a tunnel to the left, one that you assumed led out into the forest. And in front of you, only a few steps away, was an almost empty control panel with only one small button on it.

The entire room was spinning and your vision was getting darker by the second. You didn’t know if you had any strength left to continue forwards, holding on to the door to keep yourself upright. You head was pounding, your arm was throbbing and your heart was aching.

Your body was screaming at you with everything it had for you to stop, to give up, to rest. But you couldn’t. You couldn’t give up now. Not when you were so close.

You stepped forwards. You thought of Renjun. The boy who had never left your side since the day he met you. He was fiercely loyal, always prepared to do everything he could to protect the ones he loved. To protect you.

You stepped again. You thought of Jaemin. The boy who had saved your life more times than you cared to admit. He had diligently watched over you, cared for you and loved you when you couldn’t do it yourself. He wouldn’t hesitate to keep going. To rescue you.

You stepped once more, collapsing on the counter in front of you, the button in sight. You thought of Jeno. The boy who had been through exactly what you had and was the only one to know the true pain of it. He had protected you from more than you knew and you knew he would never stop protecting you. To shield you.

You pulled yourself up, the button within your reach. You thought of Donghyuck. The boy who you loved more than anything else in this world. The boy who you would do anything for. He was sunshine personified, always finding any way he could to make you happy and always ready to fight anything that had made you sad. There wasn’t a thing that he would not do for you. He would volunteer to go through hell and back a million times without even thinking about it. To save you.

You threw yourself forwards, the last thing you saw being the button spinning with the room as your vision disappeared completely. You brought your hand down in a final attempt to hit the kill switch, your brain only managing to register one final sound as your legs gave out completely and you blacked out.

Click.

---

The dull pain at the back of your head was the first thing you noticed. You tried opening your eyes, but your eyelids felt so heavy it was impossible. You gave up, trying instead to listen to the movement around you. You managed to register a woman’s voice somewhere in the haze.

You tried again to open your eyes, this time succeeding slightly. This prompted the woman watching over you to call for a nurse. You couldn’t see the nurse through the blurred slit of vision you had, but she had a soothing voice, one that radiated comfort.

‘Don’t overwork yourself y/n. You’ve been through quite an ordeal. Just take your time and you’ll be able to wake up.’

You took a deep breath, relaxing your eyelids so that they were fully shut, and tried again. Finally, you managed to open them all the way. The room gradually came into focus, and you saw that you were lying on your bed in your room at the lab. You saw the nurse next to you and your eyes widened.

‘This place- it’s not safe. It’s not what you think. We need to-’

The nurse put a hand on your shoulder, pushing your body back into the bed.

‘Calm down y/n, it’s okay. We know. A Yang Jeong-In called and explained the situation to us. At first, we were skeptical, but we sent an investigation over anyway. We owe you a great deal y/n. You’ve saved a lot of people.’

She smiled at you as you fell back into the pillows.

‘I didn’t do it alone.’ You insisted. ‘Wait, how long have I been asleep? How long was I in the simulation for.’

The nurse chuckled.

‘Don’t worry sweetheart. You haven’t lost a year of your life. In fact, it’s only just been around 30 hours since you went back in. You saved us in a day.’

‘Wait... it worked? We did it?’ You whispered, not quite believing that it was finally over.

‘You did it y/n. You’re safe now. In fact, your friends are also all awake. When you’re ready, you can come and see them.’

The nurse smile at you as you nodded. You began to sit up, but fell back immediately when the pain in your head flared up again. The nurse grabbed a pill and some water from your bedside table and handed them to you.

‘Here, take this. You took a nasty fall in the simulation and your body is convinced that it has concussion. Now since it didn’t really happen, you don’t, but it may hurt for a short while. This should help.’

You nodded absentmindedly as she spoke, purely obsessed with the thought of seeing your friends again.

You attempted to sit up again, this time with much more ease.

‘Wow, that worked fast.’ You commented, causing a light laugh from the nurse at your side.

She gave you a supporting hand as you climbed out of bed and stood up. You walked shakily over to the door, leaning on the frame slightly for support as the nurse opened it.

You headed outside, amazed by what you were greeted with. There were police, detectives and special investigators all over the scene. Dr Kim was sat in the lobby when you passed, in handcuffs and being read his rights. He looked up as you walked by, and if looks could kill, you would have been a pile of ash on the floor. But they couldn’t. So instead, you paused, held eye contact for a second and smiled before moving on.

You were finished with that.

Your nurse led you to the room that you recognised as the test centre. It was where all your skills had been testing once you left the simulation the first time.

‘The room has been cleared out and turned into a relaxing space. At the moment, we’re just using if for your group. We thought that since you saved all of us you deserved your own area.’

The genuine smile on the nurse’s face made you laugh in happiness. She turned the handle and pushed the door open.

‘I’ll leave you be.’ She whispered from behind, pulling it shut gently as you walked it.

The sight in front of you brought tears to your eyes. Jeno and Jaemin were collapsed next to each other of a sofa, looking at something on a phone in front of them, Chenle and Jisung were attempting to teach Renjun a sort of clapping game, Chan and I.N. were standing in the far corner chatting with Mark and a few others and San and Wooyoung were laughing at something over a box of pizza.

But the best sight of all, was right in front of you.

There, sat on the floor, his little sister curled up in his lap as he peppered little kisses all over her face, was Donghyuck. Alive and happy. He held he close, treasuring the fact that he got to have her back. He laughed at something she said, the sound reaching your heart immediately and you realised just how much you had missed him.

Renjun noticed you first. He had given up on learning whatever game Chenle and Jisung were trying to teach him and turned around, coming face to face with your smiling figure.

‘Look who it is!’ He announced, easily gaining the attention of the rest of the room. They all turned around to look at you, smiles breaking across all of their faces as they did so. ‘Our saving grace.’

‘Lets hear it for our hero!’ Jeno called out, causing the room to erupt in cheers, screams and claps as you stood there slightly awkwardly.

You looked at Hyuck again, this time finding him staring right back at you. His sister moved off his lap, allowing him to stand. The entire room was watching as he made his way towards you. He didn’t break stride, instead choosing to pull you in towards him for a hug. His arms wrapped tightly around your waist as he pressed you against his chest. Your arms moved up by themselves, finding their place behind his neck and holding on for dear life.

The hug got tighter and more desperate the longer it went on, Donghyuck holding onto you as if you slip away if he let go. Little did he know, you weren’t going anywhere. He mumbled out a few words, you only just managing to catch them because of how his face was buried into your neck.

‘I missed you.’

‘I missed you too.’ You whispered back, relieved to finally be back with him.

‘Don’t you guys think that you two are slightly beyond hugging?’ Renjun’s voice interrupted your moment, causing you both to turn and stare at him incredulously. ‘Come on! If this experience has taught us anything, surely it’s that time is precious and we shouldn’t waste it dancing around our feelings.’

As much as you loved Renjun, you had never wanted to hit him more than you did at that moment. You wanted to talk to Hyuck about your feelings but not in front of everyone and, now that the reality of that conversation was dawning on you, you were nervous for it.

Hyuck, on the other hand, seemed to ponder Renjun words before turning back to you.

‘You know, he has a point.’ He mused a cheeky smile on his face.

‘Hmmm?’ You hummed, not sure where he was going with this.

Donghyuck simply took a small breath before pulling you in again. He used his hands, that were still resting on your waist, you pull you in closer, and then moved on up to cup your face as he leaned it. You had about half a second to understand what was happening before his lips were on yours.

Donghyuck kissed you.

Finally, after all these years and struggles, you finally got to kiss the boy you loved. You kissed him back, shyly at first but, as with the hug, the emotions grew. Before you knew it you were pouring all the love you had for the boy into your kiss, praying that he would be able to feel it.

When you finally pulled away you stared into his eyes. You ignored the cheers and shouts of “finally” coming from your friends, only focusing on the boy in front of you. He gently tilted his head forwards, so that his forehead was pressed to yours.

‘I love you.’ He whispered.

‘I love you too.’ You replied, your voice as quiet as his, but your words just as powerful.

---

After a couple of hours, you and Hyuck eventually excused yourself from the rest of your friends, choosing to instead go back to your room and spend some time alone together. Hyuck’s sister had headed back to her room earlier, leaving just the two of you wandering the halls side by side.

‘You know.’ Hyuck grabbed your hand, lacing your fingers with his as he talked. ‘i always knew that, if any of us was gonna save the world, it would be you.’

You blushed.

‘I didn’t save the world... Besides, I don’t know why I’m getting all the credit! Without everyone in that room, we wouldn’t have done it.’

‘I know.’ Hyuck giggled. ‘But you’re still the one who pressed that button. And according to Jeno, you’re the one who figured out the truth as well. Let me just compliment you! I like being able to say that my girlfriend saved the world.’

You looked at him out of the corner of your eye, unable to stop the smile from spreading across your face.

‘Girlfriend?’ You questioned, watching as Hyuck began to get flustered.

‘Uhhh- I mean... we haven’t really had a chance to talk about it yet but... hopefully?’ He questioned, looking shyly at you.

‘Sounds perfect.’ You grinned, squeezing his hand that was in yours.

And for a minute, all was right with the world. Until two words cause Donghyuck to freeze where he was, terror consuming him.

‘You bastard!’ Donghyuck’s father came storming up to the two of you. ‘What gives you the right to act that way? Thinking you can treat me like that? I don’t care if it was in a simulation, you’re going to pay for that.’

Donghyuck’s father lifted up a fist, in an attempt to hit him, but Hyuck was faster. He pushed on the opposite shoulder on his father’s body and stepped back, watching as the momentum of his father’s punch threw his body around in a full circle. Donghyuck pushed you behind him slightly, wanting to protect you.

This action did not go unnoticed by his father, who tilted his head to the side, observing how you gripped his arm and how Donghyuck was shielding you.

‘Ohhhh.’ He realised, a wicked smile taking over his features. ‘So the two of you fell in love.’ The smile dropped off him completely. ‘How sweet. Maybe, if Donghyuck refuses to face the consequences of his actions, someone else could take the punishment for him.’

‘Back off!’ Donghyuck barked, moving you properly behind him. ‘You don’t touch her.’

‘Protective are we?’ His father teased but Hyuck didn’t reply. ‘What would you do to protect her? How far would you go? Would you shout at me? Would you threaten me? Would you hit me?’

His father had been circling Donghyuck all this time, trying to find the right moment to pounce. Only when you arm appeared around Donghyuck’s waist did he make his move. He lashed out with a harsh punch to Donghyuck’s shoulder, causing the boy to fall to the floor, and grabbed you holding you by the wrist with one hand and around the neck with the other.

‘I’ll kill you!’ Donghyuck screamed, losing his mind at the thought of his father hurting yet another person he loved. He stood up, preparing to charge at his father.

‘Take one step closer and I’ll cut off her air supply.’ His dad’s voice was quiet, no more theatrics or teases, just a pure, cold-blooded threat. Then his voice changed again, back into the taunting manner it was previously. ‘Or maybe I’ll just do it now.’ He began to push down slightly, making you swallow out of discomfort. He gradually pushed down more, making it increasingly difficult for you to breathe. ‘Maybe that will finally get you to throw a punch.’

Down the end of the corridor you recognised the police uniform, meaning that Donghyuck’s father had run out of time. You swung your foot underneath you, taking him by surprise and effectively ruining his balance. Hyuck took his chance while his father was out of it and pulled you back into the safety on his arms. He stroked the hair out of your face.

‘Are you okay?’ He asked, concern and guilt prominent on his features.

‘I’m okay.’ You reassured, falling back into his embrace.

‘You bitch!’ Donghyuck’s father roared and he prepared to throw himself at the two of you again. But this time he was met with the police. One officer tackled him immediately, forcing him to the ground as another secured his arms behind his back with a pair of handcuffs around his wrists.

You and Hyuck watched as he was arrested on suspicion of the murder of Donghyuck’s mother and multiple account of domestic, physical and verbal abuse. Just as he was being pulled up he look at Donghyuck one last time.

‘When will you be a man and learn how to throw a punch.’ He spat.

Hyuck stood up calmly, pulling you with him and keeping an arm around you at all times, but he never took his eyes off his father.

‘Being a man isn’t about being able to throw a punch. It’s about what you would take a punch for. I will never throw a punch, because I will never be like you. Goodbye father.’

You watched as Donghyuck’s father was dragged away in handcuffs. Only once he had disappeared around the corner did you turn to Hyuck.

‘I’m proud of you.’ You smiled slightly.

‘Thank you.’ Hyuck whispered, smiling back and placing a kiss on your forehead. ‘I have one favour to ask you though.’

‘Yeah?’ You looked up at him.

‘Can we go to bed? I’m exhausted.’ He said, watching as you burst into laughter at his mundane request.

‘Sure we can.’ You agreed, your body starting to agree with Hyuck.

---

You lay in your bed, your head on Donghyuck’s chest, his arms around you and your legs entwined. You’d been mindlessly chatting for the last few minutes but the conversation had since then drifted off into a comfortable silence.

‘I figured it out you know.’ Donghyuck informed you suddenly, causing you to look up at him from where you were laying.

‘What did you figure out?’ You asked, entertaining his antics.

‘That it wasn’t a real virus and that there were higher powers responsible for it. I figured it out first.’ His slightly smug yet still teasing voice brought a smile to your lips.

‘How did you do that?’ You were genuinely curious as to how he had come to this conclusion.

‘Remember? At the beginning, as soon as the virus broke out, I told you it was government created.’ Now the smugness was really coming through on his voice, showing how he was clearly enjoying this.

‘Go to sleep Hyuck.’ You chuckled.

‘I’m just saying.’ He whined, pulling his arms around you tighter.

You didn’t reply to that one, choosing instead to smile. You nuzzled further into Hyuck’s chest, relishing in the fact that you finally get to be close to him.

And that’s how you spent your first night of freedom. Curled up next to the boy you loved, with him whispering sweet nothings into your ear, all thoughts and dangers of the simulation far behind you.

Turns out you finally did get your happy ever after.

173 notes · View notes

jeranasblog · 4 years

Text

Let your guard down

Notes: Welcome to my first Tumblr post ever. I’ve only used it for messaging before but decided to share one of my works. It’s basically 25k words of fluff and smut. Enjoy <3

A huge thanks to @twokinkybeans who encouraged me to share my work here.

Click here to read it on Ao3

Summary: Tony had long ago accepted that he had no soul mate. When a moment of weakness forced him to search for his perfect match, he found Peter Parker, a young man from Queens. Tony is horrified that the universe paired him with a boy, not even old enough to drink. Resisting could be so easy for Tony, if only Peter wasn’t so tempting. Now it was up to Peter to convince him that he deserved some happiness.

Chapter 1

Tony Stark was a busy man. It wasn’t unusual for him to work more than twelve hours a day, his best friend Rhodey even jokingly claimed that he lived in the lab. Although it was meant as a joke, Tony needs to admit there is some truth behind it. More than once he has spent his nights on a sofa next to his workspace, going so far that he bought a sleeping couch at the end of his most elaborated project. But Tony is happy this way, at least he tried to convince himself.

He had always been a workaholic, but after his divorce from Pepper six months ago, it had become only worse. The marriage between the two of them hadn’t worked out and the only thing Tony regrets is that he didn’t see it from the beginning. They were too different.

Tony loved to work and travel, looking for a spontaneous partner who could keep up with him. Sometimes he would decide to fly to Europe the next day or to start a new project which takes hours of his sleep. He wanted a partner who wasn’t insecure in the relationship, who didn’t blame himself when Tony left the bed in the middle of the night only to work on another project.

Pepper, however, was looking for a father for her children. She needed a man who was responsible and supportive. Someone willing to start a family in the next few years, and therefor Tony wasn’t the right one. Maybe, it would have worked out if they had met a few years later, but for now Tony wasn’t ready to give up his independency.

Both had decided that they would remain friends. Although it didn’t work out, they had had a lot of fun together, and Tony was happy to call her a friend.

He was still feeling bad about the divorce. The problem wasn’t losing Pepper, it was more about being alone. Tony had enjoyed spending time with someone, telling another person everything about his day or the progress he had made in the lab. Pepper wasn’t so much into engineering, but she was a good listener.

Of course, Tony could start dating again. He loved meeting new people, taking them to expensive restaurants and learning about their lives. But Tony’s money made it complicated. He had met his fair share of gold-diggers only interested in his wealth or reputation. There had been a couple of young women trying to use his fame to start a model career. He had even dated a young man once who was only interested in Tony paying off his depts caused by his gambling problems.

Sometimes Tony enjoyed such company, even though he knew they only go out with him because he was famous. It amused him to see their attempts to extract money from him. He had never paid more than the food of the evening, but they kept trying. Nevertheless, he wasn’t interested in a fling right now. He wanted to keep someone by his side and spoil him without being asked for.

Tony sighed. Being alone sucked, but at least there was no more Pepper complaining about his hours of work in the lab. So he took the chance and locked himself in there, knowing he could work for hours without being interrupted.

He was currently working on a new improvement for his Iron Man suit. Last time he had been on an Avengers mission, a drone had destroyed the chip that connected F.R.I.D.A.Y. to his suit and he had been unable to communicate with his AI. Although the suit had still been working, Tony preferred to rely on her when his life was at stake. Therefor he tried to connect Friday to every particle of his nano technology. It would take a lot of time, but he thought he could make it work.

Tony turned on ACDC on a volume that would scare off any neighbours if he had any. After his divorce with Pepper, he had left their house in Malibu while he had kept the company and Stark Tower. Pepper could have insisted on a fair share of Stark Industries, but she understood that it was important for him. He still owned most of the company, while keeping her as the CEO. To be honest, she always did a better job than him.

Tony had decided to move into the Stark Tower. It was empty anyway, except of a few Avengers who come and go as they please. He had enlarged the lab and had brought all the suits so he could work on them. He felt much more at home in the tower than he did in the Malibu house anyway.

Five hours later Tony was still working in the lab. He hadn’t eaten all day, something Pepper had complained about very often. Sometimes she had ordered food for him so that he wouldn’t starve, but now with her gone there was no one but F.R.I.D.A.Y. to take care of him.

That’s when he felt it for the first time. It started with a metallic taste on the back of his tongue. He was confused but kept working. When dizziness set in, Tony blamed the lack of food and ordered Thai from his favourite restaurant. Half an hour and a meal later, the nausea started and he could no longer work. He took a break and dropped onto a chair. When his vision began to fade he knew something was very, very wrong.

Before he lost consciousness, he managed to get F.R.I.D.A.Y. to call Rhodey. After that everything went dark.

~*~

When he opened his eyes again, everything was bright. He blinked and tried unsuccessfully to shut out the sun light that was burning in his eyes. It took a few seconds to get used to it, but then he began to see.

He was in a hospital room. Everything was white and sterile and on his left side there was a huge window front. He lay in a bed that was set up in the middle of the room. It was untypically large and comfortable for a hospital bed, so he concluded that he was in a private and expensive room.

The room was sparsely furnished with a TV, a closet and two chairs. He wasn’t alone in the room, Pepper and Rhodey sat by his side. Pepper sighed in relief when she saw that he was awake.

“Where am I?” Tony’s voice sounded raspy, like he hadn’t used it in days.

“Tony, I’m glad you’re awake. You’re in a hospital.” Rhodey explained and Tony had to suppress a snort. Of course, he could see that for himself. He wanted to know which hospital he was in, but there were more important questions.

“What happened?” He didn’t really remember much. He’d tried to call Rhodey, and a second later everything went dark.

“Oh Tony.” Pepper’s voice was shivering, and he could see she had been crying. “We don’t really know what happened. Rhodey and I were working when F.R.I.D.A.Y. called. You weren’t answering, so Rhodey asked her what was going on. She told us you were lying on the floor. Rhodey called 911 right away and then called me after. They took you to the hospital in a helicopter and here we are. Don't you remember anything?"

Tony tried but shook his head after a few seconds. “I remember getting dizzy and then passing out, but I don’t know why.”

Rhodey looked at him worried. “Maybe the doctors know more? We should've called them anyway, as soon as you woke up.”

Tony nodded uncomfortably under his best friend’s gaze. He liked having attention, he didn't want to be the object of worry. Rhodey pressed a red button to call the doctor.

A moment later, a middle-old man dressed in a white coat entered the room. He held a clipboard in his hand and approached them.

“Mr. Stark, you’re awake. How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay, I guess.” Tony answered. “My head and my chest hurt, but I guess that’s normal, right?” He looked at the doctor who wasn’t answering his questions.

Instead, he turned to Rhodey and Pepper. “I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. I need to speak with Mr. Stark about his medical condition, but you're welcome to come back tomorrow.”

Pepper and Rhodey nodded and said goodbye to Tony. Then they left the room, leaving him alone with the doctor.”

“Well, doc. What’s up? Am I gonna be alright?” Tony was joking to cheer himself up.

The doctor looked at him seriously. “I’m really sorry, Mr. Stark, but I think we have a problem.”

“A problem?” Tony looked at him confused.

“I’m afraid your collapse wasn’t caused by your bad eating habits.”

“It wasn’t?” Tony knew he sounded stupid at that moment, but he didn’t care. A bad feeling spread through his chest.

The doctor took a deep breath. “Have you looked at your arc reactor lately?”

Tony shook his head and slowly lowered his eyes. The blue glowing tech in the middle of his chest was familiar to him, but as soon as he became aware, he noticed the change. When he first built the arc reactor, it had emitted strong blue light. Now it glowed only weakly.

“I never noticed it.” He really didn’t. Even though he passed a mirror every day, he never paid attention to the tech in his chest. He hated this part of his body because it reminded him of his time in Afghanistan. A time he wanted to forget.

“Do you know what’s happening, doc?” He looked at the man, unsure how he should feel.

“We've run some blood tests. Your body seems to reject the arc technology. If you keep wearing it, you’ll poison yourself.” The doctor sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

Tony’s blood ran cold. He knew what it meant. “But if I don’t wear it, the metal in my chest will slowly kill me.”

“I am really sorry, Mr. Stark. If you continue wearing the arc reactor, the plutonium will poison your blood. You need to give your body time to break down the toxin. We can cut down the amount of plutonium to stop the poisoning process, but then the magnet won’t be strong enough. The metal will start to move towards your heart again.”

Tony swallowed, he understood. “How much time if we reduce the amount?” He sounded cold and composed, even though fear was raging inside his body.

The doctor couldn’t look him in the eye. “A month, maybe two.”

Tony winced and went pale. He had expected the poisoning to be severe, but one month was a very short time. He took a deep breath. “What about a surgery to remove the metal from my heart?”

The doctor’s face was filled with pity and the billionaire couldn’t even look at him. “There is an option, but the survival rate is about five percent.”

His emotions threatened to surface, but he fought them off with everything he had. He didn’t want to cry in front of the man.

Fuck, he wasn’t ready to die. He was Tony Stark, he could have anything he wanted. He had more money than he could ever spend in his whole life, his friendships with Rhodey was better than ever and he was close to coming to good terms with Pepper again. His life had been better lately, but typically for Tony it couldn’t stay like that. Something had to come up to ruin everything.

The doctor tore him away from his ugly thoughts. “There might be a way. Have you ever heard about soulbonds?”

Of course, Tony had heard about soul bonds before, well everybody had. He was living in a world where the universe paired each individual with a counterpart, a soul mate. Almost every adult has a name written in black ink somewhere on their body, marking them for their soulmate. It appears as soon as your partner turned twenty-one.

They say that such a relationship is a perfect one, that soulmates are meant to be together. There is a whole bunch of crappy romance novels out there about people finding the right one and living happily ever after. They say you know you are destined for each other as soon as your mate touches your mark.

Tony didn’t believe in that shit. He couldn’t deny the lower divorce rate of soul bonds, but there were very few people out there who actually meet their soulmates. Your other half could be living in another country and it is possible to never meet them in your whole life. If the universe really intended a soulmate to be the only one, it would at least make sure you meet your other half.

On top of that, there are many happy people in other relationships. Your soulmate may be a perfect match, but there are other good matches out there, other possibilities of happiness.

Over the years Tony had received many letters from people claiming to be his soulmate. He had paid no attention to them; they were fake anyway. Because Tony Stark didn’t have a soulmate.

When he was younger, he had hoped that one day a name would appear on his body, showing him his other half. Close to his twenty-first birthday he had spent days in front of the mirror hoping his body would reveal the name of his soulmate. But it never did.

When he turned thirty, the first doubts came. Still no sign had appeared on his body, his soulmate had to be at least nine years younger than him. Now, just over ten years later, Tony was convinced there was no other half for him. There were a bunch of people who didn’t have a soulmate, or the mate had died before his twenty-first birthday.

Knowing that he was not sharing a bond with anyone, his hope faded.

“I don’t have a soulmate.” Tony said dryly. “There is no tattoo on my body. There never was.”

The doctor remained silent as his fingers tapped against his clipboard. After several minutes he started to talk again. “It might be possible that your soulmate died, but it is also possible that he is not yet twenty-one.”

Tony looked at him in disbelief as anger seethed in his chest. It was the first moment he was unable to conceal his emotions. “Excuse me, I’m over forty. How could my soulmate be younger than twenty-one?”

The man tried to calm him down. “There have been cases where-“

Tony interrupted him. “I don’t care about that. I won’t molest someone not even old enough to drink.”

“So you prefer to die?”

Suddenly all the anger disappeared. What remained was a feeling of emptiness. It took him a couple of minutes to think about his situation.

“You see, Mr. Stark. Having a soulmate beside you will increase the chances of survival. The human heart is weak. It’s no problem to remove the metal in your chest, but your heart may be too weak to withstand the strain Having your soul mate by your side would give your body strength to endure the surgery.”

Tony suppressed a snort. That sounded more like a shitty romcom or advice from a horoscope, but he didn’t want to die. He pulled himself together and looked the doctor in the eye. “All right, I'll give it a shot. Just tell me what I have to do to find out if I have a soul mate.”

The doctor smiled, appreciating his decision to fight. “There is a possibility to find out the name of your potential match without him being twenty-one.”

Tony raised his eyebrows.

“It’s all about magic.”

Tony groaned, he hated magic. He’s sick of all the sparkling magic shit. He is a man of science, always trying to solve a problem using knowledge that people can understand. But he had learned firsthand from Doctor Strange that sometimes it takes more to survive. He swallowed his stubbornness and looked at the doctor again. “All right, I need another sample of your blood. I know a magician who can help you with that, but it won’t be cheap.”

Tony shrugged; money wasn’t important. “How long will it take?”

The doctor smiled. “For you? One days.”

After he took a sample of Tony’s blood, the doctor left his room. Suddenly Tony started to feel alone. He tried to hold on to the hope that there might be a soulmate for him out there. Still, as soon as he closed his eyes, he began to cry. He wasn't ready to die yet. He decided he wanted to fight.

~*~

When Pepper first heard about the possibility that he might die, she started to cry. She was sitting on a chair next to his hospital bed when he told her what the doctor had said.

“But there's a five percent chance, isn't there?” She asked between ugly sobs. “And maybe you do have a soulmate.”

Tony who had been crying all night, felt drained. There were no tears left for him, but he still felt the full fear. He sighed. “Yes, Pep. But five percent is very low.”

“But your soulmate-“ She tried to protest, but Tony cut her short.

“I’m forty-two years old. What are the odds I have a soulmate who isn’t even allowed to drink?” It hurt, but he needed her to focus on the situation. There was no more room for hope, he had to decide what to do.

“Pepper, I need you to promise me one thing.” He looked at her forcefully.

She replied immediately. “Anything.”

“Take care of the company in case I die, okay?”

She started crying harder and shook her head. “You’re not gonna die.” She didn’t sound sure.

Tony sighed. “It’s possible I’ll survive, but I have to make sure SI is in safe hands in case I don’t make it.”

“Let’s wait for the stupid magician.” He decided. “If he doesn’t give a name, I’ll sign the company over to you.”

Pepper accepted, even though she was still trying to convince herself he would be fine.

She was still there, when his doctor entered the room followed by a tall, skinny man who was covered in black tattoos. Tony assumed he was the magician, what a cliché. He hated the man instantly.

“Hello, Mr. Stark.” His doctor greeted him. “I'd like you to meet Mr. Lewis. He’s the magician I told you about.”

Tony hid his distaste for anyone involved in magic and nodded at the man.

“If you want the result to remain private, I have to ask your friend to leave now.” The doctor pointed at Pepper, but Tony shook his head.

“It’s fine. She can stay if she wants to. I’d tell her anyway.” His trust made Pepper smile.

“All right, Mr. Lewis. You can start now. Mr. Stark, I’m recording your vitals during the test.”

The magician who had been quiet, turned to Tony after the request.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Stark.” His voice was soft and friendly. “Let me tell you briefly what I intend to do. Your doctor gave me a sample of your blood yesterday. I will perform a small ritual to reveal the name of your soulmate. It won’t hurt much.”

The billionaire tried to be hopeful, though he doubted he had a match. With a deep breath he dispelled the bad thoughts. “Is it a common to test for a match with magic?” Tony was proud of himself, there was no sign of sarcasm in his voice.

“Of course not, Mr. Stark.” His doctor replied. “It’s only allowed when someone is facing death. On top of that, not everyone can to afford it.”

Tony sighed. “Can we get it over with?”

The tattooed man nodded and asked Tony to give him his wrist. Then he drew a symbol on the inside of his arm. He was disgusted to discover that the colour was a mixture consisting of his own blood.

The feeling that flowed through him was strange. It was like a hundred tiny pinpricks on his skin. He shivered, not really hurt but uncomfortable. Slowly a part of his right forearm turned black, revealing a name written in intricate writing: Peter Parker.

Tony was shocked and stared incredulously at his forearm. He had never expected to really have a soulmate. Fuck, he was bound to a child who wasn’t even allowed to drink. All those years, he had wished a name would appear on his body. Now, when he was forty-two years old, he found out that he actually had a soul mate long after he had accepted that he didn't have a partner. He waited for it to turn out to be a joke, but when he looked up he saw three bewildered faces.

The doctor was the first to get a grip and he smiled at Tony. "Wonderful news, Mr Stark. Your chances of survival have increased dramatically in the last few minutes. Congratulations."

Tony still couldn’t believe it and looked to Pepper for help. She understood right away. “Gentleman, would you be so kind as to leave us alone for a moment?” It was her business voice.

Tony breathed a sigh of relief when the two man had left the room. “I really have a match.” He allowed himself a first glimmer of hope. “What am I going to do now?”

Pepper grinned at him widely. “Tony, that’s great news. Be happy first.”

He smiled carefully. Although he didn’t really want a soulmate who could be his son, he was relieved to know he had a better chance of survival.

He pondered for a second before turning to Pepper. “Did I have anything with me when they brought me here? Anything that might have access to F.R.I.D.A.Y.”

“I brought your watch. Would that work?”

Tony smiled relieved and nodded while Pepper rummaged through her purse. After a couple of seconds, she took out his gold watch.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. look for a boy called Peter Parker. Limit the matches to possible soulmates.” Tony demanded. “Leave out everyone above the age of twenty-one and if there are more than one hits left, look for the one most likely to be my match.”

“There is one Peter Parker who matches your description, Sir.” The familiar voice of his KI answered.

“Great, give me information on him. Age, family, friends, profession.”

Tony prayed that the boy was at least eighteen years old. It would be a scandal anyway, he could not hide his tattoo forever, but he did not want to be accused of child abuse.

“Peter Parker is twenty years old.” Tony felt the tension of the last days taken away from him. When he looked at Pepper, she showed signs of relief in equal measure. At least his match was an adult. “He lives with his aunt in New York, Queens. His parents died when he was younger. Peter is currently pursuing a PhD in biochemical engineering at NYU.”

Tony looked impressed. However bad the soulshit is, his soulmate and he seemed to share the same interest. That was something he could work with.

“Anything else I should know about him?”

It was a short pause before F.R.I.D.A.Y. responded. “Peter Parker is going to start an internship at Stark Industries next Monday.”

Tony suppressed the urge to hit his head against the wall. Fuck, he was the boss of his soulmate.

~*~

Peter Parker wore Anthony Stark’s name for everyone visible on his left wrist since his birth. Normally nobody was interested in a soulmark tattoo, it was a common occurrence that people have the black ink on body parts that everyone can see. Peter on the other hand tried to hide his mark as well as possible.

The first time he had been bullied because of the tattoo was even before he had been in primary school. Not only was it unusual for a small child to have a soul mark on him (his partner had been over 21 when he still needed diapers), but the name on his wrist was Anthony Stark, billionaire and tech genius. Everyone thought Peter’s family had tattooed it there to marry him off wealthy.

It wasn’t uncommon for parents to fake soul marks. There had been a couple of celebrity scandals where fans younger than twenty-one claimed to be the soulmate of the famous person. It turned out to be a lie when the celebrities touched the soulmarks without feeling a spark and they discovered it was just a normal tattoo. That leads to rich and famous people being more careful about soul propositions, usually waiting until their match turned twenty-one.

Peter knew it, so he didn’t even try to contact the billionaire, he wouldn’t believe him anyway. Instead, he ignored all the stupid comments of his peers and got accustomed to wear a watch every day to cover his left wrist. The only three people who knew the truth about his tattoo were his aunt May and his best friends Ned and MJ.

Although Peter had never met Tony Stark before, he already knew they had something in common. The love of science. While the billionaire was a successful owner of the tech company Stark Industries, Peter was studied biochemical engineering at NYU. He was almost finished, which is why he applied for a Stark Industries internship. Peter had hesitated in the beginning, afraid to work for his soulmate, but in the end it was what he really wanted. He would never meet Tony Stark anyway. Well, maybe after his twenty-first birthday.

“Peter.” His aunt interrupted him from his thoughts. “You’ll never guess what I just got.” Peter who was sitting in the middle of his bed shrugged when she shouted from the kitchen. He hadn’t even noticed that she had come home from work.

“What happened?” He asked as he sat down at the kitchen table with her.

With a broad grin May, took out a letter. It was plain white, but in the upper left corner was the logo of Stark Industries.

“Gimme.” Peter ordered and saw that she hadn’t opened it yet.

May laughed and pushed the letter closer to him. Peter had no patience, so he tore it open.

“Read out loud.” His aunt commanded.

He cleared his throat playfully. “Dear Mr. Parker, We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.”

May only started to groan. “Peter, stop the Harry Potter references. You’re such a nerd.”

“All right, all right.” Peter giggled before he got serious again. “Dear Mr. Parker, Congratulations! We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted for an Internship at Stark Industries starting Monday, the…” Peter looked at the words twice. “May, it starts in five days.”

“Well, that’s great I guess.” She starred at him questioningly. “Monday’s not gonna be a problem for you, is it?”

Peter thought for a second but then shook his head. “No, the semester is almost over. Won’t be a problem for me.”

May stood up, walked around the table, and gave him a big hug. “Peter, I’m so proud of you.”

He felt happiness bubbling in his chest. He was proud of himself, too. Knowing that one day Tony Stark will find out that he was his soulmate he wanted to achieve his goals before the billionaire did. He couldn’t stand people accusing him of being successful solely because the universe had matched him with Tony Stark. He wanted to show everyone, including the billionaire, what he was capable off.

Maybe an internship at Stark Industries was not a symbol of independence from his soul mate, but Tony could not know anything about him yet. The tattoo of his name will be revealed on his twenty-first birthday, which was three months away. No, Peter had been accepted because of his abilities and qualifications. It was a satisfying thought.

"Let's celebrate." May made a spontaneous decision, even though it was Thursday night and she had to work early the next morning. "How do you feel about pizza? You can call Ned and MJ and ask them over. How does a Harry Potter marathon sound?"

Peter looked at her with big eyes. "But, May, you have to work tomorrow."

She laughed and waved his hand off. "Don't worry about me. I'll leave you alone after the second movie so I can get some sleep."

It didn’t take him twenty minutes to prepare for his friends’ arrival. The pizza was ordered, the couch was transformed into a blanket fort and the stack of his Harry Potter DVD’s was draped in front of the TV. The movie night could come.

Chapter 2

When Monday came around, Tony was restless. He had been discharged from the hospital last Friday and had spent the whole weekend in the lab. Although his chances of survival were increased because of Peter Parker, there was still the risk that the surgery could go wrong. Therefor he had prepared everything necessary in case he died.

First of all, he had instructed Pepper to destroy all his Iron Man suits in case he didn’t make it. He didn’t want the government to use them as weapons. Then he had documented his projects for Stark Industries in such a way that his company's engineers could continue his work even if he couldn't do it himself. On Sunday night he had called his lawyer to amend the will he had written a few years ago.

During the weekend he had kept himself busy, but on Monday morning nervousness returned. He needed to talk to Peter Parker and put his future in the hands of a stranger. Death or trust. He didn't want either one.

His mood was terrible when he started his working day. His employees avoided him; Pepper had probably warned them beforehand. He’s obnoxious when he’s having a bad day and she knew it. He carried an extra-large espresso while he went looking for her.

Tony felt guilty and that was his biggest problem. He was never very good at dealing with guilt. He still blamed himself for selling his father’s weapons all those years and he thought he was responsible for everyone he couldn’t save during an Iron Man mission. On top of that, the divorce from Pepper was on him. Of course, they hadn’t worked out together, and there are always two people in a relationship, but it was his unwillingness to change that had led to an end. At least Pepper had tried to cope with him.

And now, he was looking for his soulmate, who was practically a minor, just to save his own life. Tony didn’t want to involve more people in his mess and definitely not in Peter-college-student-Parker who wasn’t even allowed to drink. There was no other choice, but he swore to himself that he would keep his hands of the boy until he was twenty-one. He was convinced that it couldn’t be so hard to keep it in his pants.

Trying to keep himself together, Tony knocked on Pepper’s office door. It used to be his office before he made her CEO.

“Hi, Peps.” He greeted her with a fake smile on his face. “How’s the plan for today?”

Pepper sat behind her metal desk and looked up from a pile of documents as he opened the door. “Tony, good to see you. You’re not even late. Everything ok?”

“Never better.” Tony lied and sprawled himself on a chair opposite her. He took a big sip of his extra-large espresso and enjoyed the triple shot caffeine. Closing his eyes to savour the taste Tony put his legs up on her desk. She looked at him reproachfully but didn’t say a word.

“Are you even allowed to drink that much caffeine? Not that it worsens your… condition.” She sounded truly worried.

Tony snorted. It was an unspoken order not to mention his health and mostly Pepper and Rhodey complied with his request. Seemed that he couldn’t always be so lucky.

“Peps, dear.” Even Pepper understood that his cheerily voice was fake. “I’m dying of plutonium poisoning, not caffeine.”

She slapped her hand on her desk and the sudden sound made him jump. “You are not going to die.”

Tony raised his hands defensively to calm her down. “Ok, ok. Just kidding. I’m not gonna die.”

She looked at him, anger written on her face. “This is not a subject for jokes.” A few seconds later she started crying, rage completely forgotten. “I’m sorry, Tony. I didn’t want to lose my temper. I’m just worried, all right?”

Tony got up, walked around the table and took her in his arms. She clung to him as if he would vanish in the next few seconds. “I care for you, Peps. And I’m not planning on dying anytime soon, all right?”

She nodded, took a deep breath and composed herself. “Tony, Peter will be arriving any moment for his internship. I will head him off and bring him to one of the conference rooms. You can just wait for him there.”

The mention of the boy soured his mood a bit, but he knew he couldn’t avoid Peter. “All right. Thanks for your help, I appreciate it.”

Pepper smiled encouragingly before she left him alone with his thoughts.

Waiting for Peter Parker turned out to be one of the most uncomfortable situations of his life. If there was one thing Tony was afraid of, it was his thoughts, and when he was alone in the room, he had plenty of time to give in to them. He started to go crazy until a knock tore him from his thoughts.

“Come in.”

The door opened to reveal a vision of a boy stumbling into the room. Tony had seen many beautiful people in his life. He had dated a whole line of up-and-coming models. You'd think he'd seen everything, but nothing could have prepared him for Peter Parker.

The photo of Peter on his driver's license that Tony had seen because of F.R.I.D.A.Y. didn’t do him justice. The boy was gorgeous. Milky white skin, high cheekbones and plump lips people would murder for. His brown hair was curly, and his brown eyes looked as if he was a reincarnation of Bambi himself. Tony was enchanted.

The boy was wearing fitting dress pants and a white shirt, suitably dressed for an internship. Tony unconsciously licked his lips. The shirt emphasized Peter’s slim waist and broad shoulders and the pants did nothing to hide his muscular tights. To the billionaire, he looked like a boy straight out of his wet dreams. Shit, so much for keeping out the inappropriate thoughts until his soul mate turns twenty-one. Just great.

“Good morning, I’m Tony Stark. Pleased to meet you.” Tony couldn’t smother the flirtatious undertone. He moved a few steps closer to the boy and hold out his hand.

Peter stared at him somewhat confused and did not move for an uncomfortable period of time. His innocent eyes were huge, taking in Tony’s appearance. Luckily, the billionaire wore one of his best tailored suits. He couldn’t stop the warm feeling spreading inside him when the boy looked him over.

After a few heartbeats Peter realized that he was supposed to shake the outstretched hand and he started to blush. Tony grinned smugly; the boy was wonderful.

“I’m sorry M-Mister Stark, Sir. My name is Peter Parker.” His voice was trembling, and he squeezed Tony’s hand slightly.

Nobody could have prepared the billionaire for this innocent touch. As soon as his fingers brushed against Peters, he felt a pleasant shiver run down his spine and his hand started to tingle. On top of that, he noticed a faint spark of arousal that startled him a little. How could a simple touch cause such feelings in him? Tony could tell by Peter’s hazy eyes that the boy felt the same.

Tony quickly pulled back his hand, taking a deep breath to get a grip on himself. He remembered the boy’s age and the upcoming surgery. It was no time for him to lust after Peter.

“Mr. Parker, nice to meet you. Mrs. Potts picked you up in the lobby?”

Peter nodded, still with a confused look on his face.

“And did she tell you why I wanted to talk to you?” Tony prayed she had already told the boy part of it, but according to Peter’s questioning face, she hadn’t.

“No, Sir.” The boy replied overwhelmed.

Tony took off his suit coat leaving Peter with mixed feelings of confusion and arousal. He saw Peter’s gaze linger on his chest where his shirt was stretched across his muscles. The marvellous starring made it difficult for Tony to focus on the conversation.

Tony fixed his gaze on Peter while he was rolling up his sleeves, revealing his tattoo to the younger man. He could see how shocked Peter was as his eyes moved across his exposed forearm.

“How is this possible.” Peter asked confused. “I’m not twenty-one yet. You shouldn’t be able to see it.”

The boy came closer, slightly tracking his name with his fingers. Tony shuddered and clenched his hands into fists. Every touch of his soulmate set of a wave of arousal running straight to his neglected cock. The billionaire felt it stir in his pants and he bit his tongue to regain his control.

The boy seemed to share his feelings, Tony could see his dilated pupils, drowning his brown eyes in black. He pulled his arm back abruptly. When Peter realized what he’d done, he blushed a deep red and stumbled an apology.

Tony tried to distract himself from the sexual tension by focusing on explaining his tattoo. “Have you ever heard about magicians revealing soul marks?”

The boy watched him expectantly. “Yes, it’s possible, but really expensive.”

Tony nodded affirmative. “Well, there was an incident that forced me to look for a potential soulmate.”

“An incident?”

Tony cleared his throat. He didn’t want to tell the boy everything about his dizzy spell, but he had no choice. He leaned against conference desk and crossed his arms as a barrier between the boy and himself.

“A few days ago, I passed out in my lab. Turned out I have a few problems with my arch reactor.” He unconsciously touched the middle of his chest. “Well, there’s no other way but surgery to remove the metal from my body that’s wandering towards my heart. Unfortunately, the chances of survival are slim unless I have a soulmate who’ll keep me company during the surgery.”

Peter was at a loss for words. He was gaping at Tony like a fish and if Tony wasn’t so afraid of rejection, he would have called it cute. “Does that mean you could die?”

Tony shrugged. “Possible, but unlikely when you stick by my side.” The billionaire sighed, swallowing his pride. “Peter, I’m really sorry to ask this of you, but there is no other choice.”

Peters eyes widen before his face turned determined. He threw himself into Tony’s arm, clinging to him like an octopus. None of them noticed that a hug between them might be weird, considering they haven’t even met before today. “Of course, I’ll help you. I've waited all my life for this. Your tattoo was on my skin since birth.”

Tony flinched at the words, reminded how young the boy was, but soon his emotions were taken over by relief. He relaxed in the embrace and began unconsciously stroking the boy's back. With Peter's help, his survival would be very likely.

Tony rested his chin on Peter’s head, the gesture way too familiar for two people who had just met, but none of them cared. Tony felt as if gravity was pulling him towards Peter. He buried his nose in Peter’s curly hair, enjoying the sweet smell of the younger man. It made him dizzy with want.

The boy pulled back a few inches from the hug and tried not to look at Tony. “I’m sorry, Mister Stark. I shouldn’t hug you like this. I just can’t control myself around you.” Shame was written all over his face.

Though Tony knew he should leave it at that, he grabbed the boy’s chin forcing Pete to look into his eyes. “Shh, Pete. I guess, you feel it too. No need to run from me, my sweet boy.”

Peters eyelid fluttered due to the pet name and a small moan escaped his pink lips. Tony couldn’t resist glaring at them. They looked pink and luscious and Tony lifted a hand caressing the lower lip with his thumps. They felt wet, probably from Peter licking his lips because of his nervousness. His cock twitched from the delicious sight.

Slowly he pressed his fingertip into the wet heat, causing the boy to whimper his name. “Mr. Stark, please.” The boy didn’t even know what he was pleading for.

Tony growled and lost his patience. He buried his other hand into the boy’s curls, tugging him closer until the smaller body touched his. Then he forced Peter’s head back and pressed his lips against the younger ones.

He couldn’t stop the deep moan at the contact, swallowed by the boy’s mouth. Tony hadn’t believed in the soul shit before, making fun of all the shitty romance novels and the descriptions of the loss of control. But here he was, kissing a barely legal boy, unable to think about anything else than the wet hot mouth. His body was no longer listening to his command.

Tony intensified the kiss greedily, sucking and nipping on Peter’s plumb lips until the boy moaned. When the boy’s lips parted, Tony sneaked a tongue inside. He explored Peter’s mouth inch by inch, caressing the boy’s tongue and encouraging him to kiss back.

Peter wrapped his arms around Tony’s neck, leaning into the older man for support. He started to move his lips, kissing the billionaire back. Tony enjoyed all the small noises the boy made. He whimpered when Tony moved his lips and moan when their tongues touched. Peter was a vision straight out of Tony’s wet dreams, a responsive little minx.

Tony wanted to bend the boy over the conference table, rip of his pants and burry himself in that tight little ass. He imagined how wrecked the boy would look, how he would take Tony’s cock and suck him in, clenching when he reached his climax. He had never felt so out of control, barely able to stop himself from fucking the boy in a room that wasn’t even locked.

Tony pulled back from the kiss, lips wandering lower to suck bruises on the boy’s neck. He felt a possessive urge building up inside him, wanting to see more of his marks on the boy’s body additionally to his tattoo. Peter moaned as he sucked and offered his throat to him. It was tempting to lose himself inside the boy, getting Peter to call him daddy when he split him open with his cock.

At first Tony didn’t notice when Peter started to move. He was too busy marking his skin to pay attention to the rest of the boy’s body. But when something hard was pressed against his legs, he saw Peter rubbing himself all over him. The boy was marvellous trapped in his arousal, his shyness long forgotten. The boy only listened to his instincts and soothed the pain in his middle by seeking friction from him.

Tony pressed his leg against Peter’s clothed dick, giving him more room to satisfy his needs. He felt his own cock hardening in his jeans. Peter’s head had fallen back, his throat bared to invite Tony to leave more marks. He couldn’t resist.

As the boy’s breath quickened up, he knew Peter was getting close. Although he enjoyed their little encounter, he was way too old to come from a little bit of friction. As alluring as Peter was, year of experience helped him to hold himself together.

Peter, however, didn’t seem to heave much stamina. Tony needed to admit that he liked that his baby boy could come from rubbing against his leg. His effect on the boy was flattering. Peter’s movements became more and more uncoordinated as he came closer to the end and Tony grabbed his hips to prevent the boy from falling.

After a long stroke, Peter cried out, his whole body tensed. He shook uncontrollably, slumping against Tony’s body with a content smile on his face. Tony watched the boy falling apart under his hands, looking perfect while he came. His cheeks were red, eyes blissfully closed, and his mouth formed a perfect o. He wanted to keep him in his bed forever.

When the boy had clamed down, the billionaire kissed him on his forehead and helped him to sit down on a chair. His own erection hurt, but he ignored it. Peter grimaced when he felt how sticky his pants were.

There was silence between them, only disturbed by Peter’s fast breathing. As the boy came down from his height, Tony’s remorse returned. Fuck, not only had he made out like a teenager at work, he had even taken advantage of his barely legal soulmate. Pepper would kill him.

He felt the guilt returning, consuming him as it always did. The familar panic rose in him, leaving him with a sudden urge to leave. What had he done to Peter, to the sweet innocent boy? Only the fact that he hadn’t come or bend the boy over made it a little bit better. At least he hadn’t crossed the last line.

He could not look Peter in the eye during his next words. “Mister Parker, I’m deeply sorry for my behaviour.” He saw the boy flinched out of the corner of his eye.

“I’m really sorry, but I have to go. Work.” His voice sounded cheerful although he felt like crying. The excuse was horrible. “I’ll contact you about the surgery.”

And then Tony left the room, still struggling with a hard one, and leaving a hurt boy behind. He really was a monster.

~*~

His day had actually started quiet well before everything went south. May had woken him with a large cup of coffee, nothing better to start the day with. He had woken up early so there was plenty of time left to get ready unhurriedly.

The subway had been on time, and twenty minutes early Peter had entered the Stark tower. The letter told him to report to the reception when he arrived. The secretary had called someone, leaving Peter to wait on a comfortable couch in the lobby.

Ten minutes later, a beautiful blonde woman had approached him, and he had recognized her as Pepper Potts, CEO of Stark Industries and Tony Stark’s ex-wife. He had unconsciously straightened his back. Surely, she wasn’t here to pick him up, that would be highly uncommon for someone in a position like hers, but she had walked over to him and had hold out her hand. She had told him something about a meeting that had left him deeply confused and had ordered him to follow her.

Peter had been completely overwhelmed, following her like a biddy until they had reached a double wing door. Then she had knocked and left him alone, standing in an unknown building without a clue about what was going on.

When an oddly familiar voice had told him to enter, he had stumbled into the room, greeted by the sight of Tony Stark, billionaire, sexgod and his soulmate. He had gaped like a fish, unable to form words and overwhelmed with attraction for the man.

Before he knew it, he was confronted with Mr. Stark’s potential death and his own mind breaking arousal. His personal highlight of embarrassment had been him rubbing himself all over the billionaire until he had come in his own pants, leaving them sticky with his release. And then Mister Stark had left him alone in the room, probably disgusted by his slutty behaviour.

Here he was now, sitting in an empty conference room with ruined pants and no clue how to get back to the lobby. He couldn’t stop the tears spilling from his eyes and he sniffled slightly. How could a day start so well and end so horrible?

He wrapped his arms around his legs and rested his chin on them feeling like a small child. The only thing he wanted right now was going back to his bed, but he was trapped here on the first day of his internship.

A knock on the door ripped him out of his thoughts. He looked up just in time to see Mrs. Potts opening the door.

“Tony, Mr. Parker?” She asked, entering the room and her gaze fell on the lonely boy crouched on the chair.

She sighed and closed her eyes at the sight of him, taking a deep breath before her face was filled with pity. “Mr. Parker, can I call you Peter?”

He could only nod.

“Let me guess, the conversation with Tony wasn’t that good.” She handled the situation as if it wasn’t the first of it’s kind. “He was an idiot, right?”

Peter looked at her with wide eyes, but he relaxed a bit. “Well, yeah.” His voice was hoarse from crying.

“Don’t take everything the man tells you serious, Peter. Tony has a good heart, but he makes terrible decision. Did he explain you the situation with your soulmarks?”

Peter starred at her in surprise. He didn’t expect her to know about the shared tattoos but being the CEO of his company and his ex-wife, she was probably informed about what was going on.

“I’m glad he has a soulmate, even though you’re much younger than he is. Aside from the surgery, he deserves to be happy. But I could hit his head seeing him fucking it up again.” She looked him straight in the eye. "Peter, Tony is a complicated man, he's consumed with guilt. He doesn't like that you're so young, but it's not about you, it's about your age. You understand that?"

He raised his head and smiled at her, relieved that Tony’s doubts weren’t about his behaviour. When he spoke, his voice was soft. “I understand Mrs. Potts. Don’t worry, I’ll help with the surgery. I also understand that I’m very young compared to him which is one reason why I’ve never reached out with my tattoo. I’m willing to keep up with him, but I’m also a human being. I don’t want to deal with rejection. Apart from the surgery, he can contact me when he feels ready.”

She smiled at him after his words. “Peter, you seem like a good young man with a lot of patience. Maybe you’re exactly what he needs. You can go home today if you want. Your internship can start tomorrow. And besides, call me Pepper.”

“Thank you, Pepper. I’d really like to go back home.”

She smiled and walked him back to the lobby. She even called a cab so he didn’t have to take the subway.

~*~

After a shower to clean the mess in his pants, Peter was restless and didn’t know what to do. He flipped onto his bed trying to get work done for his PhD, but he couldn’t focus on the equations. His mind seemed to wander back to the events of the day. Although he knew now that Mr. Stark’s behaviour was caused by his own guilt, he was still a little embarrassed by his own behaviour.

He had jumped the man as soon as possible, couldn’t resist the temptation. The feelings had been intense, way stronger than anything he had felt when experimenting with a couple of college boys. Mr. Stark hadn’t even touched him under his clothes, and he had already messed up his boxers. He blushed at the memory and felt the familiar feeling of arousal rising, but he gripped the base of his cock, willing the erection down. Although his body didn’t seem to listen to him, he was still hurt from the man’s rejection and didn’t want to give in to the pleasant feelings.

Instead, he picked up his phone and called MJ and Ned via video chat. He could at least get rid of all the anger by talking about it with his best friends.

They both picked up after the second ringing.

“Hey Pete, what’s up?” Ned answered first, laying on his bed just like Peter. His phone was on his desk, showing Ned’s bed and his wall, which was full of the familiar Iron Man posters. Today, it made Peter cringe.

“Shouldn’t you be at your internship?” MJ was sitting at her favourite coffeeshop, phone probably leaning against an empty cup. She had her headphones plugged in.

“Well, Pepper Potts send me home.” Peter answered casually.

There was a second of silence before his best friends started talking at the same time. “She did what?” MJ shouted, while Ned responded dreamily. “You met Pepper Potts, like the real Pepper Potts?”

“OMG, Ned. I can’t believe it.” MJ sounded angry and in the background of her video, Peter saw a costumer in the coffee shop turning his head towards her. MJ didn’t care about the angry looks. “She is his soulmate’s ex-wife. Don’t worship her.”

“But she’s hot.” Ned answered defensively which made MJ groan.

“Ned, she is like a hundred years older than you.” Now all the heads in the coffee shop were turned to MJ.

“She can still be hot, though.” Ned whined. “Besides. Tony Stark is older than her and you don’t complain about the age difference between Peter and him, either.”

MJ took a deep breath, clearly calming herself. “First of all, Ned, he is Peter’s soulmate. That’s something else. And second, Peter is at least not fantasizing about him.”

“About that.” Peter interrupted their bickering. “I might have made out with him today.”

Ned gasped loudly while MJ slammed her head on the table.

“You can't just drop something like that casually.” MJ complained. “I need details, like now.”

Peter needed a second, not sure how to explain the mess of today. “Pepper Potts picked me up in the lobby today and walked me to a conference room. Mr. Stark was waiting for me. He had my tattoo on his forearm.”

His best friends looked at him confused. “How is that possible.” Ned asked. “You’re not twenty-one yet.”

Peter swallowed. “Have you ever heard about magicians revealing soulmarks?”

He looked at his friends expectantly, but both shook their head. The concept wasn’t very common. “Under certain circumstances a magician is legally permitted to reveal a tattoo earlier.”

“Which circumstances?” She seemed to have a hunch about the situation, looking at Peter as if she wouldn’t like the answer.

“Death.” Peter answered shortly. “He needs a surgery to remove the metal from his chest. Something about his arc tech not functioning properly anymore. And without a soulmate who strengthen his condition, he might die.”

His friends were unusual silent after he revealed everything and looked at him concerned. “But he’l make it with your help, won’t he?” Ned asked.

Peter shrugged. “I think so, but we haven’t talked about it much.”

“Busy with something else?” MJ scoffed, smiling at him filthy.

Peter blushed violently and hid his face in his pillow. Why are his friends so embarrassing? “I wasn’t like that.” He explained himself before he really thought about the situation. “Well, okay. I was, but that's not why we didn't talk to each other.” It sounded like a lame excuse.

“Of course, Pete.” MJ talked to him like a child, sarcasm dripping from her voice. “Tell me, how far did you go?”

“I might have creamed my pants.” Peter admitted quietly.

MJ were laughing so hard that tears were streaming from her eyes. Peter heard someone asking her to be a little bit quieter, but she ignored the man, too captured in mocking Peter. Ned, on the other hand, looked slightly nauseous.

“Pete, please.” He groaned. “Don’t tell me about this.”

“Stop being such a prude.” MJ bickered. “You’re no better with Pepper Potts.”

“I didn’t bang her, though.” Ned looked outraged, but Peter knew it was just for show. He was used to that kind of behaviour from his friends.

“Only because you couldn’t.” MJ was joking. Even though Ned tried to keep up the façade, after a few seconds he stated smiling too.

“You still didn’t tell us why you didn’t talk with him.” Ned asked curiously.

Peters mood sank. His friends were good at cheering him up and he clearly needed advice from them on how to handle the situation, but Mr. Stark’s actions had hurt him. His friends could tell something was wrong because they were quiet once.

“He might have left immediately after I’ve rubbed myself all over him.” Peter confessed quietly.

“He did what?” MJ fumed.

“After I…, well you know… Let’s say when I was done, he apologized and left. Some lame excuse about work. He didn’t explain anything, didn’t tell me how to contact him, he didn’t even look at me. He just left me sitting alone in an empty conference room. He hadn't even come yet.”

In the end, his voice became more and more quiet. He could no longer look at his phone, busy drawing patterns with his fingers on his bed to keep his emotions in check. He fought against the tears which threatened to fall.

“Pete, I’m sorry.” MJ said softly. “Do you know why he left?”

Peter sniffed. “I talked to Pepper afterwards. She said Tony felt guilty about me being so young. He wouldn’t have contacted me if his life wasn’t on the line.” He took a short break to get his thoughts in order. “It’s just…, I don’t care that much about the soulstuff myself. I don’t want him to marry me or change his whole life. It was just… so intense. All I want is to get to know him and not being tolerated to save his life.”

“I understand you. It sucks.” Ned had never been very good in cheering up. Still, Peter smiled a little.

MJ seemed to be thinking about something, tapping her fingers on the coffee table and choosing her words carefully. “Peter, I’ll only tell you this once, before I continue insulting Tony Stark. It’s obvious his life hadn’t been easy and someone must force the man to be happy. Wait for the surgery to be over, wait until he's no longer afraid for his life. And then fight.”

Peter looked at her confused. “You think so?”

She sighed, took a big sip of her coffee and started to explain again. “Let him first think you're angry with him, prove to him you don't worship him like the rest of the world. After that, show him what he’s missing. And when you have him trapped in his feelings, force him to talk. Explain your feelings but let him explain his too. Just don’t give up your one perfect match only because he’s an ass.”

Peter was silent. MJ was rarely so serious and her words had reached him. Was Tony Stark worth it? Of course, the man was intelligent and handsome, but was it enough? Was he willing to find out if it would be enough?

“I’m not sure I want to fight.” Peter confessed. He wasn’t sure if he and Mr. Stark were a perfect match, they were living in different worlds.

Unusually, it was Ned who finished the discussion. “I guess it’s on you to find that out.”

~*~

A few hours later, when Peter tried to fall asleep, he decided that it would be worth it. It might go wrong, but he would always regret not having tried. His uncle's death had taught him one thing: Never miss an opportunity.

Chapter 3

A week later, Peter was sitting in a private jet on his way to Switzerland. He had never left the country before, and it was the first time he had ever travelled by plane. His uncle Ben had died a few years ago and even before that, they hadn’t had enough money for vacation. He’d always thought his first flight would go to Mexico after he got his PhD and saved some money. He would have bought a cheap economy seat and would have probably been seated next to a family with children crying the whole time.

What he hadn’t expected was him flying with Tony Stark’s private jet to a hospital in Switzerland before his twenty-first birthday. Pepper had told him that the best surgeons in the world were working in Europe and that they would therefore have to leave the country. She accompanied him during the flight, while Tony had already left a few days earlier. He had to be prepared for the surgery.

Peter hadn’t seen Mr. Stark since the incident in the conference room, and he really tried not to get upset about it. The billionaire was avoiding him, but it was the wrong time to call him out on it. Peter promised himself to keep his emotion in check until after surgery.

Pepper, on the other hand, had spent a lot of time with him. She had called him into her office almost everyday after the internship to talk about Tony. She had explained his actions once again, told Peter everything about the upcoming surgery and tried to get to know him better. She had asked him about his intentions with Mr. Stark, and he had told her all about his decision to fight.

“I’m glad to hear that, Peter.” She had said smiling. “He deserves to be happy, although he’ll do anything to sabotage himself. Not many people in his life have tried to fight for him. Prepare yourself for a draining battle.”

He had just nodded and promised to be as patient as possible.

“What are you thinking about?” Pepper Potts, object of his thoughts interrupted him from those.

He blinked and looked at her. “Just thinking about all the luxury.” He lied. “I’m not used to it; it makes me feel uncomfortable.” It's true he wasn't very fond of the display of money, but he was more concerned about the situation with Mr Stark.

Yes, Tony had been a dick, but he was still Peter’s soulmate. Additionally, he was also a superhero who had saved a million lives, not only as Iron Man, but also with his clean energy. It was Peter's duty to save him and he was afraid that his presence would not be enough. There was still a small chance that he would die.

Pepper had no clue what he was really thinking about. “Peter, you need to get used to the luxury. If he ever opens up to you, he'll spoil you terribly. Tony's way of showing his love is money and gifts.”

Peter just shrugged at the thought. Having grown up without much money, he was uncomfortable with expensive gifts. “But to start everything with a flight to Europe, my first flight by the way, where I know nothing more about Tony than that he is in mortal danger is a bit much, don't you think?”

Pepper only laughed. “With Tony Stark everything will be much. Sometimes you won’t know whether to punch him or hug him.”

Peter grinned too and banished the bad thoughts from his mind. Maybe he should just enjoy the luxury and be optimistic.

They arrived late in the afternoon, and a limousine picked him and Pepper up. They drove to an expensive-looking hotel, five stars of course. The lobby was designed in a marble look, with black curtains next to the windows. The stuff was dressed in shiny suits and even the guests wore fancy clothes. Peter felt uncomfortable in his plaid shirt and his worn out converse. He certainly stood out.

Pepper smiled encouragingly at him and led him to the reception. A minute later he was holding a black card in his hands, probably the key to his room. She walked ahead and led him to the other end of the lobby towards the elevators.

“Guten Tag, darf ich Ihnen ihr Gepäck abnehmen?“ A pageboy approached them halfway and said something in German. Peter didn’t understand a word.

“I am sorry, Sir. May I take your bags?” The man repeated and Peter gave him his suitcase with a grateful smile. He thanked him and Pepper tipped the pageboy. He’d never been to a hotel where he didn’t have to carry his own luggage. To be fair, he had never been in a hotel before, except for a school trip a few years ago.

After the elevator door closed behind them, Pepper picked up a conversation. “Peter, the surgery is tomorrow morning. Happy will pick you up at seven am to drive you to the hospital.” Peter confirmed with a nod that he understood. “Do you want to eat dinner together?”

He thought about it but shook his head after a few seconds. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Potts, but I’d like to go to bed early. Can I order something up to my room?” He was tired from the long flight, and the only thing he wanted to do before he went to bed was call MJ and Ned and tell them everything.

“Of course.” Pepper replied. “Guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” She smiled at him the last time before she left the elevator on her floor.

When Peter entered his room, a big and fancy one of course, he couldn’t really appreciate it. Even though the bathroom looked like the cover of an interior design magazine, and the television was twenty times bigger than the one May had at home, the only thing he was interested in at the moment was the bed. He managed a quick call to MJ, Ned and May, but he fell asleep before he could call the room service.

~*~

Peter felt anxious when he entered the hospital the next morning. It didn’t look like any hospitals he’d ever been to before. Everything looked more expensive, but also more comfortable. Instead of the typical white walls, the halls were painted in a warm beige and plants made it look livelier. The smell, however, was the same.

He didn't even have time to look around properly until a man in a white coat approached him.

“Good morning, Mr. Parker. I’m Mr. Stark’s personal doctor. If you would be so kind as to follow me.”

Peter didn't have time to answer anything or he wouldn't have been able to keep up with the doctor. As they left the lobby and turned into a less crowded corridor, the man slowed down.

He smiled warmly at Peter. “I apologize for the hectic greeting. Mr. Stark asked me to keep his condition under wraps. I didn't want to risk having other patients listen to us.”

It made sense, of course. Even though Peter wasn’t very interested in business, he knew what a life-threatening illness of Mr. Stark could do to SI’s stock prices. On top of that, the billionaire probably didn’t want to deal with the media.

“It’s all right.” He assured the doctor. “Can you tell me what I can do today?”

The man turned right at the end of the corridor and instructed Peter to follow him through a door. They entered an office and the doctor offered him a seat. In the middle of the room there was a big wooden desk and when the doctor took a seat behind it, Peter felt as if he was back in school talking to the principal about his absence in class. He had skipped school a few times after Ben had died.

“Peter, I need to tell you something about Mr. Stark’s condition. Are you familiar with arc technology?” Peter nodded, he had heard a lot about it during his studies, though he had never had enough money for plutonium to build one himself. “Tony has metal splitter in his chest that are wandering to his heart. The arc reactor works like an electromagnet, holding the metal in place. Unfortunately, the plutonium is poisoning his blood and we have to remove the arc reactor.”

Peter was shocked. He knew Mr. Stark’s life depended on the tech in his chest, but he hadn’t known anything about plutonium poisoning his blood. He knew from his studies how dangerous the substance can be. Additionally, switching off the electromagnet would kill the man too. “But then the metal will wander to his heart again.” He concluded, fear in his voice.

“That is correct, which is why we must perform the operation. We want to finally remove the metal. We're going to cut open his chest under an electromagnet and remove the shards. But the operation will be exhausting for his body. And that's where you come in. A side effect of soulbonds is the power one soulmate can give to another. You can imagine that not only Tony's soul, but your soul bound him to life.” The doctor remained calm when he explained the problem to Peter and he was grateful for the professionalism. Peter had to stay focused, he needed to understand what he could do for Mr. Stark and he was on the verge of losing it.

Even though Peter wasn’t very fond of magic, the doctor’s explanations made sense, well, at least a little bit. He hated not understanding things and magic was definitely part of that. But binding Mr. Stark to live, well, that was something he was truly grateful for. Everyone knew what the billionaire had been through in Afghanistan and what he sacrificed for being Iron Man, Peter just wanted to give something back.

"If a person's life can be bound to two souls, why can soulmates die when the other is still alive".

It took the doctor a second to answer. "First of all, if someone is really dead, no soul-bound being in the world can bring him back or stop death. You can only give the body a little bit of strength to endure strain longer. If someone is stabbed or a disease kills him, a soul mate cannot do anything. And if soulmates have never met before, even their presence cannot save the other. There must be a connection between the two".

Peter felt himself getting cold. Shit, there needs to be a bond? But Tony and he didn’t have a bond! He felt the fear rising in him. “You need to stop the surgery.” Peter pleaded. “We didn’t initiate a bond.”

The doctor laughed, reached out and put a hand on his shoulder to calm him. “Peter, can you show me your tattoo?” Peter was confused for a second, what did his tattoo had to do with this? But he still nodded and exposed his wrist to the man’s touch. “Do you notice any differences?”

Peter stared intently at his tattoo. It was familiar to him, a part of him that he had worn since birth. But once he paid attention, he noticed that the lines of the name were thicker than before.

“It’s thicker, isn’t it?” The doctor asked. “A bond is formed when soulmates touch each other. It can be a sexual touch, or a friendly one. t's the intention of the couple that counts. If they truly want each other, a bond is formed. It doesn’t matter if the feeling is sexual or loving.”

Peter blushed. He remembered how much he had wanted Mr. Stark, his fingers on his body, his lips everywhere. His thoughts stopped for a second. If the bond was formed successfully, Mr. Stark must have wanted him too.

“Can a soulbond c-create…” He stammered shamefully. “Can a soulbond cause a-arousal?”

The doctor knowingly laughed and winked at him. “It can increase the pleasure, but it cannot create feeling that weren’t there before.”

Peter swallowed, relieved that Mr. Stark seemed to find him arousing, but also ashamed by his own behaviour. The had blamed the bond for his shamelessness, but apparently it was on him.

He tried to change the topic. “What happens after a bond is formed?”

The doctor looked at him forcefully. “Peter don’t be afraid. I know how Mr. Star is. If one of you decides to stay away from the other, it won’t be painful. There are other people out there, other good matches. It's just never gonna be as perfect as the soul bond.”

Peter took a deep breath. He wanted to fight for Mr. Stark, wanted to fight for the privilege of keeping him happy. But if the billionaire truly didn’t want him, he could stay away.

The doctor took one look on his watch and stood up. “I’m sorry, Peter. I have to cut the conversation short. It’s time. If you would be so kind as to follow me?”

Peter's nervousness came back with a vengeance. Now it was time to fight for Tony Stark's life.

~*~

The second time Tony woke up in a hospital, he was not alone again. This time only Pepper was sitting next to his bed and it wasn’t bright but dark outside. The felt a dull arch in his chest and tried to touch it gently. A heavy bandage was wrapped around his torso, making it difficult to breath. He assumed he was on heavy painkillers because he didn’t feel as if he had been cut open just before.

Tony didn’t remember much about the day. The doctors had knocked him out in the morning and after that everything was black except for a faint memory of a beautiful boy. Had he dreamed about Peter?

“Tony, you’re awake.” Pepper shone at him. “I’m so happy everything’s fine. You’re going to be okay, no need to give me Stark Industries.”

He sighed in relieve. He’ll be okay, he’ll live, and the first time in years he didn’t have to worry about the metal in his body. The only unsolved problem was Peter.

“Have I been awake before?” He asked curiously and Pepper nodded. “I remember Peter sitting next to me and holding my hand. Was it a dream?”

Pepper looked pitifully at him and took his hand. “Oh Tony, yes, he was here when you first woke up. Guess you don't remember much since you were still recovering from the anaesthetic."

He swallowed heavily. Hopefully, he didn’t say anything he’ll regret now. “Did I… did I say anything to him?”

“No, Tony, you didn’t. You didn’t talk at all. Yet Peter is out there, waiting for you to wake up. Give him a chance and let him talk to you. Let him see you’re fine.” She pulled the chair closer to his bed and looked at him vividly. “You’ll like the boy. He is not only handsome but intelligent. You have so much in common. Don’t let yourself be unhappy again.”

Tony couldn’t look at her. How could he give the boy a chance? There are a million better man out there, better matches for Peter. He didn’t want to tie the boy to an old man like him. “Pepper, he isn’t ever allowed to drink.”

“Then wait for him.” Her voice got frustrated. “He’ll be twenty-one in three months.”

He closed his eyes, guilt and desire battling inside him. He wanted to get to know the boy, but he didn’t want to load all his problems on someone else’s shoulders.

“He is so young Pepper.” His last doubts were coming to the surface.

“Peter is young but clever, Tony.” Pepper replied fiercely. “He is a gentle soul who wouldn’t even take your money. He wanted to pay for his own hotel, a small one near the hospital.” She laughed bitterly. “Tony, he wanted nothing in return for saving your life. Yes, you’ve made mistakes in the past, but it’s time to let go. Just try to be happy for once, okay? Peter is perfect for you.”

Tony pondered, knowing he would be gone on the boy if he decided to let him in. Peter was so innocent but beautiful. He wanted to challenge the young man, see if he could keep up with him in the lab. He wanted to hold him, protect him from life. And he wanted to bend him over his work desk and fuck him until he screamed Tony’s name.

You know what, fuck it. Fuck anyone who’d think Peter is too young, fuck the media and the moralists. He wanted to be happy, he didn’t want to be alone anymore. He promised himself to protect the boy and to spoil him rotten. He would keep him in his arms and buy him everything he would ever want. He will listen to the soulshit for once, maybe Peter really was the right one for him.

“Okay, let him in.” His voice was hoarse but determined.

Pepper smiled brightly and pressed a kiss on his forehead. “I’m so happy, Tony. You won’t regret it.”

Then she left the room to call the boy and leave them alone.

Peter looked insecure, almost scared, when he entered the room. He was even more beautiful than Tony remembered. Although he looked tired as if he hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before, Tony had never seen someone more beautiful, more tempting.

Peter stopped in the middle on the room, unsure if he could sit down of if the billionaire would throw him out soon. Tony winced at the sight, he had really fucked up.

“Peter, you can sit down if you want.” Tony soothed the boy and pointed to the chair next to his bed. Peter smiled carefully and took the seat. He was closer to Tony than the billionaire would have liked, it was just so difficult to concentrate while he was near the boy. He smelled the faint vanilla note of Peter’s scent and the only thing preventing him from getting aroused again was the slight pain in his chest.

“Mr Stark, how are you?” The boy asked cheerfully. Tony could see that the boy was happy about him being awake and well.

“I’m fine. My chest still hurts a little, but I’m sure it’ll heal.”

The boy smiled at him so brightly that Tony felt as if he was looking at the sun. Being happy, Peter looked like a vision. Tony didn’t have much brightness in his life, and he was determined to hold on tight.

“Peter.” Tony looked intensely at the boy and took his hand, making sure he was listening. “I am truly sorry for our first encounter. I didn’t mean to throw myself at you. You are so young, it’s better if we keep our distance for a while.”

The moment he saw Peter’s hurt face, he knew he’d chosen the wrong words. The boy pulled back his hand, attempting to get up and leave the room. “It’s alright, Mr. Stark.” The boy tried to get a grip on himself, but Tony could see the first tears falling. “I get it, I’m just happy you’re fine.”

Peter’s sadness broke Tony’s heart and he grabbed his arm before he could walk away. “Wait, Pete.” He pleaded. “I’ve said it all wrong. I didn’t mean to take advantage of you or get in your pants, but I want to get to know you better. Let’s just try to keep our pants on.”

Peter starred at him with a mixture of relief and frustration on his face. “You mean as friends?”

Tony laughed bitterly. “God Peter, no. Even if I tried, I couldn’t stop myself. You're so alluring, every second I see you, I want to fuck you senseless.” The boy blushed under his blatant words. “I just want to get to know you better first, is that all right? I want to wait for your birthday.”

The hesitation on Peter’s face vanished and his beautiful smile returned. Tony felt his tension subside when the boy stopped crying. He became too attached to the boy far too soon. He would already do anything for the boy, how would he act after he’d got to know the boy better? Tony pushed aside his fear, it would only lead to him running away, but this time he wanted to do it right.

“Tony, can I kiss you?” The billionaire shrugged after the unexpected question. He knew he shouldn’t do it, he knew how hard it would be to resist the temptation once he touched Peter’s lips, but he was a weak man. So he nodded, allowing the boy to get close.

The attraction was the same when their lips touched the second time. Tony felt the boy shaking, arching into the kiss. The angle was awkward, Peter bent over him, carefully so as not to touch his chest. Tony was uncomfortable, his neck stretched to reach the boy’s lips.

He growled in frustration, wanting to feel the boys weight pressing against him during the kiss. He wanted to touch the boy everywhere, but his stupid bandage was in the way. Peter climbed over him, settled on his lap and kept his hands away from Tony’s chest. He supported his weight with his arms and pressed another kiss on his lips.

Tony opened his mouth, allowing the boy’s tongue to enter him for a second before taking control and pushing it back. One hand got tangled up in the boy’s soft curls, the other slipped under his t-shirt. He caressed the soft skin of Peter’s back, drawing patterns on his skin. He boy shivered under his touch and started to squirm. His ass was pressed against Tony’s clothed cock and he got hard under Peter’s movement.

The boy was a vision, losing control from a simple kiss alone. His cheeks were rosy, the blush spreading across his neck. Tony wanted to undress him to know how far down the blush went. He wanted to pinch his nipples, kissing them, biting them, while the boy was riding his cock.

“Fuck, sweet boy. So good for me.” Peter was so responsive to his touch, he moaned when Tony stroked the waistband of his jeans, slipping a finger under it. He couldn’t reach his ass properly, but Peter arched his back as if Tony had already pressed a finger in his tight little hole.

Tony felt that he was losing control. He knew he was going too far. Not only were they in a hospital, and Pepper was waiting outside his room, he had also promised to keep his hands to himself until the boy turned twenty-one. But he was too far gone to stop now.

Tony brought his hands to the front of the boy’s jeans while his tongue was thrusting in the boy’s mouth. He imagined what it would feel like to have Peter spread out under him, licking into his tight little heat and luring every sound out of the boy’s pretty pink mouth. He imagined how Peter would moan and cry, how he would beg him to feed him his cock.

When he pressed his palm against Peter’s clothed cock, the boy bucked into his touch. Even though Tony would normally appreciate the responsiveness, the boy’s groin pressed against his chest for a short time and a sharp pain ran through his whole body.

Tony groaned, but not out of arousal this time. It took Peter a second to realize Tony’s pain, but then he backed off immediately. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Stark.” He apologized while he climbed back into his chair.

Tony smiled painfully. “It’s all right, sweet boy. I guess it’s better this way or we would have gone too far. I didn’t mean to touch you before your birthday, I just couldn’t stop myself.” He realised once again that he had no control over his urges when he touched the boy. He closed his eyes, willing his erection away which was leaking in the sweatpants he was wearing.

It was difficult to regain control, and according to his heavy breathing, Peter felt the same way. The boy’s lips were swollen, and his hair dishevelled, he looked just so fuckable right now that he wanted the boy back on his lap. He concentrated on the dull pain in his chest to get a grip on himself.

“Seems the only thing we can do is jump on each other.” Tony joked and Peter blushed with embarrassment. “You know what boy, when we get back home, I’m gonna take you out. Won’t be possible to strip you when we’re eating in a restaurant, right?”

Tony knew his decision was right when the boy’s face lit up after the suggestion of a date. “I would like that Mr. Stark.” He answered and smiled so brightly at the billionaire that all those unwanted feelings came back. Tony groaned and fought his arousal once again. Will this go on forever now? He would die of frustration while he was close to the boy.

“Tell me about yourself.” Tony tried to distract himself from his leaking cock.

Peter looked at him thoughtfully. “What do you want to know?”

Anything, Tony thought. Anything to distract me from the urge to fuck you senseless in a hospital room. “Tell me about your studies. You’re getting your PhD right?”

Peter’s face lit up with the question. “Yes, I’m currently working on a project of prosthetic arms. My supervising professor knows some soldiers who lost their arms in the war. A couple of them have simple metal ones, but I’m working on better arms that can be controlled by their minds.”

Tony was enchanted. The boy talked with a passion that made the billionaire thrilled. He gesticulated wildly while his eyes were sparkling with excitement. Tony wanted to know more about the project.

“How far have you progressed?” He asked interested, forgetting the pain and his burning arousal for the first time.

Peter shifted on his chair, tugging his legs under him to sit comfortably. Then he took out his old phone, opened an app and gave it to Tony. The billionaire scrolled through the app, seeing everything Peter had already done. He saw blueprints of arm prothesis, equations calculating the right amount of the component parts and a thousand measurement values. He saw Peter’s progress on the screen, his own mind racing with ideas to improve the project.

At the end of Peter’s notations was a black question mark. “What’s this about?” Tony ask, pointing at the end of the document.

Peter shrugged. “Well, I’d like to start the testing phase with a few people, but there’s still one problem left I couldn’t fix.”

Tony was interested. “Which problem?”

Peter took his old phone back, and Tony planned to buy him a new one, a better one. Probably he’ll give him a Stark phone. The boy showed him a video.

Tony could see a man in a lab, probably at NYU, wearing an arm prothesis while sleeping in a bed. The setting of the room indicated that it was a test experiment Peter had conducted. In the upper left corner, the vitals of the man were on display. As time continued, Tony could see that the pulse was changing. The man was probably in REM sleep. Suddenly, his arm prothesis started to twitch, moving in a ridiculous way while the man was still sleeping. After a few seconds, someone entered the lab, waking the man up and the movements of the prothesis stopped.

“What happened?” Tony asked curiously. He already had a presumption, but he wanted Peter to confirm it.

“The prothesis is controlled by the subject’s thoughts and intentions, thus driven by electric impulses of the brain. During dreaming, electrical impulses are emitted that set the human body in motion. When dreams trigger strong emotions such as fear or excitement, the prosthesis reacts with unpredictable movements.”

“Like when you lash out in a dream and then it happens in reality?” Tony asked him. “But doesn't that also happen with the normal body?”

Peter smiled at the question, visibly enjoying talking about his project. “Kind of.” He answered. “But the reactions are stronger. When someone feels distressed in their sleep, they usually just toss and turn in bed. The simple feeling of a normal nightmare is enough for the prosthesis to react like soldiers with PTSD. You can imagine what a person who feels anxious would do at night.”

Tony swallowed. He knew first hand how it was like to live with PTSD, how draining nightmares could be. He also knew what could happen when mind-controlled tech reacts to the dreams. He had similar problems with his Iron Man Suits once.

“Peter, do you mind if we look at your prosthesis in my lab when we get back home?” Peter looked at him buzzled. Tony wanted a chance to get to know the boy better anyway and combining it with his favourite pastime sounded great. “I once had a similar problem with my Iron Man suits, maybe we can work on a solution together.”

Peter beamed at him and tried to jump at him for joy. Tony liked the impulsive character of his soul mate, he always preferred partners who show their feelings. In bed and out of bed. He wanted to make the boy happy all the time, showering him with gifts and seeing the smile every day.

Sadly, Peter held back before he could touch the billionaire. After losing control through the kiss earlier, it would be wise to keep their distance until his chest had healed. To top it off, the boy was still not twenty-one.

“Peter, lets limit the time spent together to lab work until your birthday, all right?” Tony suggested. “We can talk, we can work, and on your birthday, I’ll take you out. I’ve promised you I’d take you on a date afterwards.”

The boy didn’t look happy, but nodded anyway. “Fine.” He replied. “But don’t push me away afterwards.”

“I won’t.” Tony promised. He won’t be able to keep his hands of the boy much longer anyway. “Let’s call it a day.” The billionaire suggested. “I’m tired from the surgery and your flight will leave tomorrow morning. I need to stay a few days longer to make sure everything is healing. I’ll be back at work next Monday. Can I pick you up Monday at five in the intern lab?”

“Of course, Mr. Stark.” Peter replied happily. “Guess I’ll see you Monday.”

He hugged Tony carefully before he left the room. Even one hour later, Tony imagined he could still feel the boy’s weight in his arms and the faint smell of vanilla in the air. Monday couldn’t come fast enough.

Chapter 4

After his first two weeks, Peter had almost settled into a routine at Stark Industries. In the morning he always went to the kitchen on the second floor first, brewing himself a cup of coffee. He needed his daily dose of caffeine to start the day, and although he preferred the perfectly brewed cappuccino from the bakery across the street, making his own was much cheaper. He brought his own mug and took it with him to his working space.

Then that he went to the intern lab, a large room with a dozen workbenches. He shared the room with eleven other interns, all university or PhD students like himself. They got paid for their work, which is why they were included in SI projects. Everyone had to sign a confidentiality agreement to keep the company’s secrets safe.

Peter and one other intern named Flash worked on a new Stark phone, assisting a couple of engineers to improve the older model. They were still having problems with the camera, it wasn’t as good as Tony Stark expected it to be and SI was known to bringing out only the best products.

Peter hadn’t seen Pepper all week. She was relieved the matter with Tony and him was settled and that the billionaire was getting better after the surgery, but she had spent a lot of time worrying about him and now she had to get work done. Peter thought it was a pity. He was amazingly fond of her, even though she was Tony’s ex-wife. He felt her friendly love for his soulmate, and he was happy Tony had such an amazing woman in his life.

All in all, his internship was the dream he’d hoped for, except for one thing: his lab-partner Flash. Flash was older than him, twenty-five by now, and he hadn’t finished his studies yet. Although that wasn’t a big deal, Flash was envious of him already doing his PhD, and every day he showed Peter how little he thought about him.

It had started with a few comments. Parker, what is a kid like you doing in a grown-up world. Parker, how many dicks did you suck to get this internship? Parker, how many did you pay to get your PhD? But it just kept getting worse and worse.

One day, Flash had destroyed a laptop, claiming it was Peter’s fault. He told their supervisor Peter had thrown it on the floor only to frame him. Peter denied it, but Flash had been working for SI for two years now and they all trusted him.

Peter tried to ignore Flash, he didn’t answer, didn’t report anything, because his supervisor wouldn’t believe him anyway. But it only got worse. Flash had stolen his phone while he was going to the toilet, it was a mistake not to take it with him. He had read a pop-up message from MJ, telling him her hot new neighbour is exactly his type. As soon as Flash knew he was gay, he started calling him Penis-Parker, slapping his butt as he walked by and accusing Peter to try to gay him up too.

It was a nightmare, but Peter didn’t say anything, too afraid that no one would belief him. On Monday, when Tony came back to work, things escalated.

He had been late for work because a subway train had had an accident, blocking the station where he was waiting. Without a coffee, he entered the lab after his supervisor had glared angrily at him. Flash snickered, clearly enjoying his distress.

The lab was empty except for Flash and him, all the other inters were either on vacation or attending a congress where a new SI product was to be launched today. But Flash and he had to stay in the lab because the new Stark phone would be launched soon, and the camera still wasn’t perfect.

“Why are you late, Parker?” Flash sneered. “Busy dropping your pants for all the gay men on the streets?”

Peter took a deep breath and tried to ignore him. Flash wasn’t worth the trouble, he wasn’t even worth the anger Peter was feeling, but the words hurt anyway. Yes, he was gay, so what? They were living in the twenty first century, nobody should care about sexual orientation anymore.

His silence seemed to make Flash even angrier. “Penis Parker, I’m talking to you. Are not only a faggot but deaf, too?”

Peter could feel anger bubbling up inside him, threatening to surface, but he fought it off. He was better than that, he wouldn’t start an argument about any of this. It would only come back to him, his supervisor wouldn’t belief him anyway.

“You’re so pathetic, Parker.” Flash snarled and grabbed his forearm tight. Peter flinched; Flash had never touched him before. He could handle mean comments and insults about his sexuality, but he couldn’t stand violence. But Flash was bigger than him, stronger than him, and although he tried, Peter couldn’t get his arm free.

“Please, let me go.” He begged, struggling against the grip on his forearm, but Flash only cackled.

“Look at you, Penis Parker. One touch and you almost cry. I thought you like being touched by men, don’t you? Never had a real man touching you before?”

Peters anger turned to fear. He’d been convinced Flash wouldn’t do anything serious to him, that he’d only let out his anger through words, but right now he wasn’t sure anymore. He struggled harder against the grip, afraid what the other man would do to him.

When he heard the fabric tear, he was unaware of the seriousness of the situation for a few seconds. Flash stopped insulting him and that should have been the first warning sign. Still, it took him a little longer to understand why Flash was quiet.

His wrist was turned upwards, the tattoo clearly visible. Normally, Peter wore a watch to cover it, but he had forgotten it in the morning, thinking the tight sleeves of his shirt would stop anyone from noticing. They had, though, but his shirt had ripped while he had been struggling against Flash’s grip. And now what he wanted to avoid at all costs had happened. Someone else had seen his mark.

“Omg, you are really pathetic, Parker.” Flash said stunned. His scornful voice had turned to hideous. “How can you be so dumb to tattoo Tony Starks name on your arm.”

Peter was finally able to pull his wrist back and hid the tattoo against his chest. His eyes prickled and he fought the tears with everything he had. He wouldn’t cry in front of Flash; he couldn’t stand the satisfaction that would be visible on the other’s face afterwards.

“You are disgusting Peter Parker, do you really thing you can turn the Tony Stark gay with your little tricks?” Flash came even closer, grabbing his hips so tightly that he couldn’t escape. “Someone like him would never even look at you, faggot. I’m gonna show you what happens to arrogant kids like you, Parker. Guess you only got accepted for the internship because you had sucked a million dicks, hoping that one day Tony Stark would fuck your mouth. I tell you something Peter, that will never happen.”

“Enough.” An icy voice interrupted them, and Flash jumped back startled. In the doorway of the lab stood Tony Stark, and Peter sighed with relief.

“What do you think you’re doing there?” The billionaire asked Flash, rage all over his face. Peter could see that he was clenching his hands into fists, so his ankles turned white.

“Mr. Stark, good thing you’re here.” Flash smiled at the man in awe. “I just had to teach the faggot here a lesson, he had your name tattooed on his wrist. He thought he could turn you gay by pretending to be your soulmate.” Flash’s loud laughter echoed across the room.

Tony’s control snapped. He burst into the room, grabbed Flash by the throat and slammed him into the nearest wall. Peter could see that Tony was wearing a part of his Iron Man suit so there was no way for Flash break free. Tony’s face was full of hatred when he looked at the intern, Peter had never seen him like that before.

“I’m gonna say this once, and only once.” The billionaire threatened. “No one has the right to attack anyone, even if they’re lying, even if they have tattooed my name over all of their body. Do you understand that?”

Flash looked at him in fear, paralyzed and unable to answer because Tony clasped his throat tightly.

The billionaire loosened his grip, he didn’t mean to kill him, only threatening him a bit.

“Did I make myself clear?” He repeated, slowly this time.

Flash couldn’t nod fast enough, and Tony let him go. He slumped to the ground, touching his neck, and looking like a little kid scolded by a father.

“Although it’s none of your business, I want to show you something.” Tony grinned evil and rolled up his sleeve to reveal his soulmark, Peter’s name. Flash looked at it paralyzed.

“If you ever bully my soulmate again, if you so much as look at him wrong or, god bless, touch him, I will kill you. And don’t you doubt I wouldn’t even go to jail for that. I have enough money so everyone will belief you attacked me first. Peter is mine.” Tony growled.

Peter swallowed. Although the threat was directed at Flash, he could feel the billionaire’s anger anyway. He was so dominant, protecting Peter in a way no one had ever done before, and a warm feeling spread in his chest. That was everything he had ever wanted, someone to loved him, to take care of him and protect him if necessary.

Flash didn’t talk anymore, he sat on the floor, looking miserable and frightened, but Tony showed no pity. “Leave now.” He ordered. “Leave, and don’t think you could ever come back here again. Your resignation will be sent to you by mail.”

Flash didn’t look up when he left the room and avoided Peter’s gaze. He looked like a kicked puppy, but Peter didn’t feel pity either. He could deal with comments, with harassment, he was used to it by now, but he couldn’t accept any form of violence. When Flash was gone, Tony turned to him.

“Are you all right, Peter?” He asked, reached out and pulled him into an embrace. Peter hid his face in Tony’s thousand-dollar shirt, felling safe for the first time that day. Tony smelled good, save, like home and he let himself be held. When his tension dropped, he started to cry. Tony soothed him, kept him in his arms and stroked his back. He was waiting patiently until everything was out.

After some time had passed, Peter’s sobbing slowed down, until he was breathing heavily, protected by Tony’s arms. “Shh, Pete. You’re safe, my sweet little boy. Come with me to my lab. I don’t want you to work with the other interns anymore.”

Peter nodded and let himself be led into Tony’s workspace. He didn’t remember how they got there, he didn’t even notice that they weren’t seen by anyone else. The only thing he felt was Tony's grip around his hips and his voice telling him that everything would be okay.

When they entered the lab, Tony sat down onto his couch, pulling Peter in his lap. Neither could let go of the other. Instead, Peter clung to Tony like an octopus, his face back into Tony's collar.

After a minute of silence, Tony picked up a discussion. “Peter, I want you to work with me in my lab. Not only because you’re my soulmate, but also because you’re the most intelligent person I know. I don’t want you wasting your time on a phone, I want you to work on your project.”

Peter looked up, smiling for the first time. “Really?”

Tony smiled back. “Really. You are brilliant, Peter, and on top of that I want to keep you close to me.”

Peter grinned, pressing his lips to Tony’s once more. The familiar heat, mixed with arousal, bubbled in his chest and he smiled in the kiss. Everything with Tony felt so perfect.

After a couple of minutes, the billionaire pulled back. His lips were swollen, and he looked at Peter with hunger in his eyes. Peter wanted to go further. He wanted to thank Tony by blowing him, getting down on his knees in front of the billionaire and putting his cock into his mouth. He wanted to be bent over the couch, he wanted his daddy to fuck him until he screamed.

Peter froze for a second. Had he called Tony Daddy in his mind? Fuck, what was wrong with him? He was glad, he didn’t say it out loud. What would his soulmate think of him? He didn’t see Tony as a father, he didn’t want to be parented by him, but he wanted to be protected like a boy. It was hard for him to admit to himself that the thought of the billionaire as his provider, his protector, turned him on even more.

“Everything all right, boy?” Tony asked, sensing his discomfort.

Peter smiled and answered cocky. “Everything is fine. I just thought about blowing you right now.”

Tony groaned and gently pushed him off his lap. “Peter, please. Don’t try my patience. How can you tempt me when you were crying just a few minutes ago?"

Peter laughed loudly, licked his lips and enjoyed the effect he had on his soulmate. “I don’t know. I constantly think about you fucking me.”

Tony’s moans were flattering. He was so happy to be allowed to work in the billionaire’s lab and he was making plans. He wanted to work on his project, but he also wanted to work on the billionaire. Let’s see if Mr. Stark could wait for his birthday or if he would go crazy with arousal. Peter smiled to himself. For the time being he would let it go, sit on the couch next to Tony and stay away from his lap, but he would make the billionaire's next few weeks difficult.

They both needed time to calm down, getting a grip of their arousal. Peter kept cuddling Tony and pressed himself against his side, but the smell of his soulmate made it difficult to think about anything else than getting fucked. Nevertheless, he held himself back.

“Why were you in the lab?” Peter asked after a long time of silence and turned his head to look at the billionaire’s face. “You even had a piece of your Iron Man Suit with you.”

Tony smiled at him and pressed a kiss on his forehead. “I felt your distress.” He confessed. “It didn't feel like the feeling was coming from me. It was in the back of my head and I knew it belonged to you.”

Peter looked at him stunned. “Do you think it’s because of the bond?”

The billionaire chuckled and pressed him closer to his side. “Maybe. If we have time, we could look into it more closely. Do some research.”

Peter beamed at the thought of recherche, of knowledge, and it was the moment he realised that maybe the thing between them wasn't just a chemical reaction or a mission for him to make Tony happy. Maybe they really were a perfect match.

~*~

When Tony was allowed to leave the hospital, he felt nothing but relieved. He had been going crazy in there, never any good with patience and he felt restless when he was separated from his lab for too long. Pepper and Peter had left days ago. Pepper had a company to run and Peter continued his internship. Tony had kept him away enough lately, but he missed his boy. He didn’t know if it was because of the bond, but he suspected it might be caused by the kid’s awesomeness, too. Everything he had already seen of the boy was perfect. Shit, if he wasn’t careful, he would become a sap.

Lab work with Peter turned out to be great. Tony had known he was clever, after all he had seen the blueprints of Peter’s project but watching the boy work was something else. Tony could see Peter had never worked with good equipment before. He’d always feel bad, when an idea didn’t work out and material was wasted, even tough failure was a part of engineering. But after some time had passed, Peter got used to the unlimited amount of resources and it was inspiring to work with the boy.

The only thing worrying Tony was the pull towards Peter that he felt. Working with him, seeing his intelligence every day, was slowly killing Tony. He was almost constantly turned on, watching the boy’s fingers when he worked. He imagined how it would feel when the boy wrapped them around his cock and Tony couldn’t suppress a shiver. He watched Peter’s ass, saw the muscles flex when he walked and the only thing stopping him from bending the boy over was his stubbornness. On top of that, Peter was almost constantly chewing on something, a pen or a screwdriver, and it was tempting as hell to see the pink lips stretching around something.

Tony didn’t know if Peter was doing it on purpose, but he couldn’t imagine that such an innocent boy could even try to seduce him. He blamed himself instead, believing that his sick mind was making things up. Only four weeks after they started working together, Tony snapped.

When he entered the lab this morning, Peter was already there, bending over a workbench to screw a metal piece to the fifth prototype of his prothesis. Immediately, the billionaire’s gaze was glued to the firm little ass, watching it flex in the boy’s jeans. He didn’t announce his arrival to get more time to admire the view. As Peter shifted his weight from one leg to another, Tony could see his cheeks wiggle and he closed his eyes, imagining how they would bounce when he slapped them, when he would split the boy open with his cock.

Tony would love to strap Peter down to the desk, keeping him there for hours. He would enter him over and over, filling him with his load until it leaked out of him. He would claim his boy so thoroughly that everyone could see who Peter belonged to. Tony knew his thoughts were wrong, that Peter couldn’t possibly want the things he did, but his mind keep wandering even though he tried to fight it.

“Mister Stark, you’re here. Why didn’t you say something?” Peter ripped him out of his thoughts, looking at him with his innocent Bambi-eyes.

Tony cleared his throat before answering. “I’m just watching you work. It’s interesting how far you’ve come with your project.” His voice was rough, and even in his own ears it sounded like an excuse, but Peter just smiled.

“Great, Mr Stark. Would you mind lending me a hand?” Oh, Tony would love to. He would help undress the boy, stuff him full of his fingers and wrap the other hand around Peters cock. But that’s not what the boy was talking about, Tony remembered. He was talking about the prosthetic.

“Sure.” He replied, struggling to keep his voice neutral.

“Perfect.” Peter beamed. “Can you walk around the desk and keep the prothesis still? I want to open it and see why it couldn’t react as fast as I want it to.”

Tony only nodded, disappointed that he couldn't watch his ass any longer, but he could at least see Peter’s face properly now. He held the prosthesis in place and gave the boy enough room to work.

What he didn’t expect was the boy’s facial expression while he was concentrated. Peter’s mouth fell open and his tongue darted out. He licked his lips, focused on his project. Tony couldn’t tear his gaze from the boy’s lips. They were wet, glistening with salvia and Tony wanted them stretched around his cock. He could see that they were swollen, Peter had probably bitten them, too focused on his project.

Tony’s thoughts weren’t nice. He didn’t just want to push in, he wanted to choke Peter on it, seeing the boy cry from his cock when he split open his throat. Tony knew his cock wasn’t small, many of his past lover struggled with it, but he’d never wanted to wreck someone so thoroughly as he wanted to wreck Peter.

When Peter’s mouth opened a bit wider, Tony was done. He let go of the prothesis and jumped back a step as if he had been burned. Peter looked at him confused.

“Mister Stark, is something wrong?” He asked innocently.

Tony shock his head, struggling to find the right words. “No, no. Everything is fine Peter. I’m just craving coffee. I want to go to the coffee shop across the street. Shall I get you a coffee too?”

“Yes, please.” Peter smiled. “I love their cappuccino, it’s amazing.”

You’re amazing, Tony thought, already halfway out the door. He had to put space between them. It was only a little over a month away from Peter's birthday, and he’ll manage it. The attraction between them was almost unbearable, he had never felt anything like this before, but he couldn’t sleep with Peter until he was twenty-one. His fantasies were so filthy, so wrong that he couldn’t act them out with a kid.

Twenty minutes later, Tony came back with two coffees in his hand. He felt calmer. For a second, he had thought about relieving himself in the bathroom, but he had quickly dismissed the idea. He was no longer a teenager, so he wouldn’t act like one.

Peter dumped his work when Tony offered him the cappuccino. “Omg, thank you, Mister Stark. The taste is amazing.“ He moaned during his first sip and Tony closed his eyes, feeling aroused. Again. What the fuck was wrong with him.

A little bit of foam was still on Peter’s bottom lip and the boy licked it up seductively. Tony’s eyes were on the boy’s lips once again. It had taken the billionaire twenty minutes to calm down, only to be back on the edge of his control after a few seconds. Great, just great.

Things only got worse. Peter arched his back as he was bend over the workbench once again, his legs were spread to stand securely. He was occasionally sipping his coffee, moaning each time and declaring his love to the coffee shop across the street. When Peter whimpered after his last sip of coffee, Tony snapped.

He pressed his groin against the boy’s ass, moaning in his ear. His left arm hold Peter securely on the table, making it impossible for Peter to move. “Stop that, sweet boy.” Tony pleaded desperately, knowing he would regret his next words. “You don’t know what you’re doing to me when you offer yourself like that. You’re acting like a slut for me.”

He had never expected the reaction of Peter to his words. The boy cried out, arching his back even further and rubbing his ass against Tony’s groin. “Please, daddy. Please let me be your slut. I’ve worked so hard to break your patience.”

The minute the boy called him Daddy, Tony was lost. He growled like an animal, all doubts vanished from his thoughts as if they’d never been there. He gripped Peter’s wrist, holding them firmly behind the boy’s back. His cock was pulsing in his jeans, uncomfortably so, and he thrusted against Peter’s backside. It wasn’t enough.

“You wanted it, sweet boy? Acting like a slut for me, presenting your lips and your ass, trying to seduce me?” His voice was deep, he didn’t even recognize himself anymore.

“Yes, please, daddy.” Peter cried. Tony had never seen anyone so beautiful. The boy belonged here, beneath him, crying for his daddy to ravish him. “I’ve tried so hard, Daddy. I bend over every time you looked at me, I bit my lips raw for you. Just please, do something. I need it.”

Tony growled. His boy was everything he had ever wanted, his soulmate, perfect for him in bed and out of it. He couldn’t hold back anymore. Tony used his free hand to undo his belt and pulled out his cock. He moaned in relief when he was out of his prison.

“I want you to pull your jeans and boxer down. Don’t take them off completely. Just enough so I can see your milky ass. Can you do that for me, Pete?” Tony could have done it himself, but he wanted the boy to decide whether he was ready or not. “You won’t come today, my sweet boy. I can’t reward you for your slutty behaviour. I won’t fuck you and I won’t even let you blow me until your birthday. I will stroke myself until I’ll come on you pretty cheeks, rub it into your skin to show you that you are mine.” He growled, squeezing Peter’s ass once. “If you want to leave now or want to wait for your birthday, that’s fine, but if you want to stay, it's on my terms.”

Peter didn’t even have to think. “Please, come all over me, Daddy.” He begged, already tugging down his pants. He revealed the most gorgeous little ass Tony had ever seen. It was milky white, plum and round, inviting him to slap the skin to watch it wiggle. Tony couldn’t resist, he spread the cheeks to get a good look at the tight little pucker between. He wouldn’t touch today, but a look wouldn’t hurt.

He groaned when he saw the pink muscle. Peter was gorgeous down there, smooth, hairless skin and so responsive. The boy cried out as the billionaire revealed his entrance to the air, and the urge to touch was stronger than ever. But Tony hold back, just one more month.

Instead, he gripped his cock and started stroking it. He knew he wouldn’t last long; he was already too riled up from the boy’s seduction. His gaze was focused on Peter while he pleasured himself. He enjoyed all the little noises Peter made and watched the ass wiggle when the boy twitched.

His orgasm came fast, sweeping over him like a train. He trembled, fighting to keep the control of his body. It was white hot pleasure, as intense as he had never experienced before.

Tony saw his seed splashing on Peter’s backside, covering him and marking him up. He felt pride when the boy surrendered himself to his grip and he felt satisfaction that was deeper than just sexual. He rubbed his release into the boy’s skin, before helping the boy up from the desk. Tony massaged the boy's stiff wrists to stimulate blood circulation and tucked Peter’s pants up, without cleaning his mess. He wanted the boy to feel him a little longer.

After that, he hugged the boy close, sitting down on the sleeping couch in his lab. He draped Peter on his lap, his arms wrapped around his boy to keep him close. The boy was still hard, but he relaxed into the embrace with a content smile on his face.

Tony soothed him, unwilling to let the boy go. They sat in contented silence for a few minutes until Tony raised his voice.

“Pete, I think we need to talk about a few things. Don’t worry, nothing bad.” The boy nodded, still uncertainty in his eyes.

“Peter, I really like you.” Tony confessed and Peter beamed at his as if it was Christmas.

“I like you, too Mr. Stark.”

A warm feeling spread through Tony’s chest. Although he already suspected the boy was developing feelings for him, it was different hearing it from him.

“Peter, I’m not a good man. In a relationship and in bed.” Tony sighed. “I take too much control and I find it hard to be considerate. I mean, everyone knows, my divorce with Pepper was all over the media.” He swallowed, afraid to lose the boy with his demands in bed or with his carelessness.”

“Tony.” Peter spoke up for the first time. His voice was steady and calm, all shyness gone. “You are a good man. You look out for others, risk your life for strangers and care about all your friends. What makes you think that's not enough? I really like you. In time, I'll probably love you too.”

The words were like fire in Tony’s veins, but for once not due to arousal. Even though he tried to be tough, to be fine on his own, it was beautiful to hear that such a perfect young man could think so well of him. He glowed with affection for the boy and it was the first time he believed, given time, he could love Peter too. How could he not? The boy was perfection.

Still, a little disbelief remains. Tony lowered his head and could no longer look Peter in the eye. “The thing with Pepper, I really tried. I cut back the hours in the lab, tried to be on point for all the social events, I even started to care more about the company. Still, it wasn’t enough. It will never be enough.”

Peter put a finger under his chin and gently lifted his head. “And what did she say about why she left?”

Tony shrugged. “That it didn’t work out between us?”

“Exactly.” Peter smiled warmly at him. “That it didn’t work out between you, not because of you. She wasn’t the right one and that’s fine. You don’t have to cut back the hours in the lab if that’s what you love. Of course, relationships are about compromises, but not about losing yourself. If you have to change for things to work, you’ll be miserable. Tony, Pepper loves you as a friend, I’ve seen that much these past few weeks. You two didn’t work out. But maybe we will. Give us a chance.” Peter started to feel desperate.

Tony was still not completely convinced. “Pete, how is it right that lust for you as much as I do? You’re more than twenty-years younger than me. I can’t be good for you. The things I wanna do to you, that cannot be normal.”

Peter smiled at him and brushed through his hair. “Tony, if you think it's wrong for you to feel this way, then my feeling would be wrong too. I love it when you take control and I want to submit to you. Even that means I can't come.” Peter grimaced looking at his neglected dick. “I want this, you want this. That’s all that should matter.”

Tony looked into the boy's eyes, searching for anything to tell him it was a lie, but Peter’s face was full of honesty. “You really want this?” He asked, sounding more like a child than a grown-up dominant man.

“I want this.” Peter confirmed. “But only if you try to open up to me. I want you to tell me about your doubts, to give me the chance to help with your guilt. You’re not the only one that has to accept his desires. I almost died of embarrassment when I called you Daddy earlier.”

Tony swallowed and pressed the boy closer to his chest. “I love it when you call me that, Peter. Don’t be ashamed.” He whispered in his boy’s ear.

“Then try not to feel guilty about your urges too, Tony.” Peter replied, settling against his chest. “I want you, all of you, maybe the soulshit isn’t as bad as I thought. Maybe we really are a perfect match.”

Tony buried his face in Peter’s neck. Maybe, Peter was right. There was no other explanation why Peter was so perfect for him otherwise. He wanted to keep the boy and not to fuck it up like he had a million times before.

“I’ll try, Peter.” He promised, leaning back so he could look the boy in the eye again. “I’ll try, but it won’t always work. There will be times when it will be hard for you to like me.”

“I just want you to try.” Peter reassured him. “Even when it will be hard.”

And then Peter kissed him, not a heated kiss, but a sweet one. And Tony let go, gave himself to Peter, knowing if there was anyone he could trust, it was his boy.

Chapter 5

Five weeks later

Tony Stark was leaning against the passenger door of his new black Tesla. He had parked on the side of a ragged street in Queens, his car obviously not fitting in. The apartment building he was waiting in front of was grey and dirty, but it looked slightly better than the other houses he was surrounded by. Although it was already getting dark, the street was still busy. Children were running around, adults were carrying groceries home and a group of young people were chatting in a corner.

Everyone was looking at him, of course they were. He stood out with his flashy car and the fancy suit, carrying a bouquet of 21 roses in his arms. More than half the people probably recognized him, wondering why the fuck Tony Stark, billionaire and genius, was standing in a ragged street in Queens on a Friday evening. He didn’t care, used to that kind of attention.

Tony was waiting for Peter outside his house. He wanted to pick up the boy and take him to a restaurant because today was Peter’s birthday. Finally. Tony couldn’t wait any longer. He wanted to show the boy off to the world, everyone had to know that Peter was his, and his alone. In the past, he’d tried to keep his flings to himself as long as possible. He hated the media and their interest in his lovelife, but with Peter, his soulmate, it was different. He intended to tell everyone that the beautiful boy belonged to him, he would shout it from the rooftop if necessary, and taking Peter out in public would be the first step.

On top of that, Tony’s control was almost broken. He couldn’t resist anymore; he didn’t want to wait any longer. All his guilt had slowly disappeared over the lasts weeks and it was getting harder and harder every day to keep his hands off his boy. And he didn’t want to hold back anymore, he planned to devour the boy, to show him everything he could do to his body. Resisting had only been more difficult after he’d known that the boy wanted him as much.

Before his thoughts went too far, Tony concentrated on the plans he had made for the evening and the flowers in his hands. They were beautiful red roses and he had paid a small fortune for them, but he didn’t care. Peter deserved everything and Tony was wealthy enough to provide for his boy.

When Peter stepped out of the door, Tony smiled at him. The boy looked amazing, even more than usual. He was dressed in a plain shirt and dress pants with a soft grey coat on top. Tony was speechless. The clothes fitted perfectly, and he smiled smugly after seeing the boy in the grey coat that Tony had bought him a week ago. Peter looked like his and that made the primitive part of his brain pleased.

“Happy birthday, my boy.” Tony greeted him with a hug, burying his head in the boy’s curls and inhaling Peter’s sweet smell. The bouquet of flowers was forgotten in his hand. He had never been so happy in his life, being surrounded by his soulmate and seeing Peter’s beautiful smile almost every day.

“Hey, Mister Stark.” Peter said mischievously, knowing exactly what he was doing to Tony with these words. The billionaire groaned. He had asked the boy weeks ago to call him Tony, and mostly he did, but Peter had discovered the effect of calling him Mr. Stark after a long day in the lab. To summarize, it had been another unsatisfactory evening.

Tony enjoyed the hug, savouring Peters smell and the warmth of his body, but the boy tensed up after a few seconds. “You’re all right?” The billionaire asked concerned, overwhelmed by the urge to protect his soulmate.

Peter blushed, eyes lowered on the ground and the primitive part of Tony’s brain cooed because of his innocence. “They’re all watching.”

Across the street a group of people were staring at them with open mouths. Tony chuckled. “You have to get used to this. You’ll soon officially be my soulmate, people will be staring all the time.”

Peter paled, looking at him with huge innocent eyes and Tony purred. His boy was the sweetest. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I will protect you.” He couldn’t smoother his smug smile, protecting Peter satisfied something dark inside him. God, he felt like an animal. “I bought you some roses, do you want to put them in a vase before we go?”

Peter smiled at him and nodded. While he was quickly running upstairs, Tony opened the door of his car, waiting for his boy to return. The billionaire had planned the whole day and he was a bit nervous, everything had to be perfect.

“Thanks for the flowers, Tony.” Peter said as he got into the car, and Tony didn't know whether he was happy or not to be called by his first name again. Since he was still planning to take his boy to a restaurant, it was probably for the best.

The drive didn’t take long, Tony made sure Peter didn’t have to spend his birthday in a car, and they arrived in front of an Italian Restaurant in the middle of New York. It wasn’t the fanciest one because Tony knew Peter wouldn’t be comfortable, but he insisted to spoil his boy on his special day, so it would be way above Peter’s budget. Tony parked the car, opened the door for Peter und lead him into the restaurant.

All heads turned as they entered. Some people looked at them with disgust, probably because of the age-gab, others were jealous, and Tony enjoyed the attention of the other guests. He wanted everyone to know that Peter was his.

“Mister Stark, I would like to show you your table.” A waiter approached them before they had a chance to ask for themselves. Tony smiled, helping Peter out of his coat and gave a servant both of their jackets. He couldn’t stop himself from placing his hand on Peter’s lower back, and he felt the boy shivering under the touch.

They were led to a table next to the window with a beautiful view of the central park. Tony could see that Peter was smiling and seeing his boy happy helped him to settle. He would make sure Peter got everything he could ever wish for.

“Do you like it?” He asked the boy, unable to completely supress the nervousness from his voice.

“It’s amazing.” Peter beamed at him. “I love Italian. How did you know?”

“Intuition.” Tony lied. The truth is, he had asked Pepper, bugged her for a whole week until she caved and promised to subtly ask Peter what his favourite food was. Tony still owed her a bottle of wine for the troubles, especially since Peter had apparently not noticed the interrogation.

“I’m so happy, it’s my birthday at last.” Peter whined. “I swear, I nearly died of blue balls.”

It was the first time Tony blushed. Fuck, how could his boy say something like this in a restaurant? Peter had been so shy and innocent when they met and now, he was starting to express his own desires. Even though he was still pliant and sweet when Tony showed a little dominance.

“Don’t say things like this.” Tony groaned. “Or I'm not gonna hold back and fuck you right here on this table.”

Peter just grinned smugly. “Is that supposed to be a threat?”

Before Tony had a chance to devour his boy or be embarrassed further, the waiter interrupted their flirt. “Would you like something to drink yet?” He asked and offered them the menus. Tony ordered a white wine and Peter a coke.

When the waiter left their table, Peter looked at him overwhelmed. “The menu is in Italian.” He complained. “I don’t understand anything.”

Tony took his hand and stroked it with his thumb. “Don’t worry, sweet boy. Do you want me to translate or should I order for you?” He pleaded silently that the boy would let him order, trust him to pick something he liked.

“You can order.” The boy answered, blushing again and Tony suppressed a growl. The boy was literally his dream.

Tony chose Spaghetti with chanterelle for himself and Pizza with shrimp for his boy. Of course, he had asked Pepper to find out what Peter liked, to make a good impression in case Peter allowed him to order. And according to Peter’s face when the food arrived, Tony picked well and he was rewarded with a bright smile.

The conversation during the meal was comfortable between them, had spent enough time together in the laboratory to get to know the other. They had already skipped the awkwardness that usually goes along with dating.

Tony took the opportunity to watch his boy thoroughly, his gestures when he talked about his project and his sparkling eyes when he told him all about the last family day with May. While Peter was chatting about his last conversation with Pepper, Tony felt a sudden urge to hold the boy close. Pepper was very important to him, and when he heard his soul mate talk so nicely about his ex-wife, happiness gushed in his chest. Instead of being jealous, Peter not only accepted Pepper into Tony's life, but also tried to make friends with her.

Feelings Tony had never felt before, grew inside him. “I love you, Peter.” Tony blurted out, interrupting Peter mid-sentence.

Peter gaped at him like a fish, completely silent. Doubts arose in Tony, accompanied by a sudden urge to leave the situation, but he fought to sit still. He wouldn’t run away, not now, not when the boy in front of him was so perfect. Tony’s hands started to sweat, and he lowered his gaze, unable to look Peter the eye anymore. His whole life was either running away from uncomfortable feelings or trying to change for his partner. But with Peter everything was different, with Peter he allowed himself to be vulnerable, even if he gave power to someone else who would be capable to destroy him.

“Omg, Tony.” Peter cried out, his voice trembling and Tony raised his head, afraid he’d said something wrong. On Peter’s face was the most beautiful smile he had ever seen on the other man, reminding Tony of an angle. Not that he had ever seen an angle before, but that’s how he imagined them to look. Peter took his hand across the table, squeezing it lightly and beamed at him. “I love you, too.”

Tony felt a smile spreading across his face. He was happier than he'd ever been in his life. This beautiful stunning boy loved him too and belonged to him. He grabbed the boy’s neck, pulling him closer across the desk to press a sweet kiss on his lips. Peter melted under his touch, leaning his forehead against Tony’s and panting even minutes after they separated.

Tony cleared his throat, still overwhelmed by his own feelings. He had been so caught up in the kiss, in Peter, that he hadn’t noticed that other guests were taking pictures of them. It would be all over the media the next day anyway, but Tony didn’t care. Peter was an adult, and it was his own decision who he wanted to date.

“I have a present for you.” Tony declared. “Do you want to open it now or later at home?”

“I don’t want to wait.” Peter’s eyes sparkled and he grinned smugly. “But I don’t want to open it here either. Let’s leave.” The boy licked his lips seductively and Tony let out a groan. One gesture from Peter and he started to lose his control again. Maybe it was time he took what he craved.

“Check, please.” He waved at the waiter, his eyes not once leaving Peter’s lips.

~*~

In retrospect, Tony couldn’t remember how they left the restaurant. The only thing he recalled was his tongue in Peter’s mouth and how the little ass wiggled when he grabbed him firmly. He hoped that no reporters were lingering in front of the restaurant or he would be able to see a detailed picture of him ravaging Peter in every gossip rag tomorrow.

It was one of the hardest things Tony had ever done when he released his boy from his grip to get in the car. He would much rather hold him close, keeping him in his arms forever, but unless they wanted to be arrested for public indecency, they had to drive home now. Tony was almost at the point of no return and if he didn’t get a grip on himself right now, it would be too late.

During the drive, Peter couldn’t sit still. Out of the corner of his eye, Tony watched him shifting on his seat, spreading his legs as wide as possible and when his boy pressed his palm against the bulge in his trousers, Tony growled. “Stop that, boy. Or you won’t come today at all.”

Peter winced; eyes fluttering shut and lips slightly open, inviting the billionaire to slip his cock right in. Tony’s finger clasped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white and he forced his eyes back on the road. Fortunately, Peter listed to him and removed his hand from his crotch.

It felt like hours until Tony opened the door to his apartment, although it probably took about ten minutes. He had been waiting for his boy for months and now, so close to his goal, he was about to lose himself.

As soon as the door slammed shut, Tony pressed Peter against it, hands tucking at his hair to bare the boy’s throat. Peter moaned from the sharp pain, surrendering to him and Tony felt his cock harden from the trusting gesture. He pressed his lips on the boy’s jaw, sucking and marking him up, watching the skin bruise under his assault. Peter melted in the touch and tilted his head even further, giving Tony access to his delicate throat. Having Peter at his mercy, the primal part of his brain preened, knowing the boy was his, and his alone.

Tony had had many lovers before. Some a little more dominant, some submissive, but never before had anyone given himself so completely in his hands, trusting him with his pleasure and he noticed what he had been missing all these years. Nobody was as close to being perfect as Peter.

A sudden urge to kiss the boy, to hold him close, overcame him and he pressed his lips tenderly on Peter’s. “I love you.” Tony whispered in his mouth, enjoying the boy’s taste on his tongue. His feelings were so overwhelming that it took him a second to deal with them. “Mine.” He said softly, nibbling at Peter’s lower lip, demanding entrance to his mouth.

Peter moaned again, opening his lips slightly so that Tony could slip his tongue in. He explored every inch of the boy’s mouth, trying to memorize the taste of him, unwilling to ever let go of Peter’s lips. But the boy had other plans. He pressed his body against Tony’s, rubbing his clothed cock against his leg and whimpered like he would die if Tony stopped. Tony had always loved it when his partners showed him their pleasure and Peter was a needy little thing, moaning and panting exactly how Tony liked it.

“Mr. Stark, please.” Peter begged, sparking off a fire in Tony’s body with his words. “I need you, I need your cock. Please, let me suck it. Please.” Peter’s voice was trembling, his eyes huge and filled with tears. Never before had anyone begged so sweetly for his cock and Tony couldn’t refuse him.

He lifted the boy into his arms, carrying him to the sofa in his living room. He sat down, dropping his boy gently between his legs. Peter shifted until he kneeled comfortably, his pink lips close to the billionaire’s clothed cock. He tried to press his face against Tony’s thigh, but Tony stopped him with a firm grip in his hair. Peter cried out in frustration.

“Behave yourself, boy.” Tony growled, his fingers pressing against the boy’s neck. “I want you to earn Daddy’s cock. I want you crawling in front of me, while you beg me to fuck your mouth. How does that sound, baby boy?”

Tony felt the boy shivering under his touch, lost in his arousal and he watched Peter, pleased with himself. His boy was a vision, sitting between his legs and waiting for his cock, his lips slightly parted and his tongue darting out. Peter relaxed in front of him, pliant and waiting for the next order. Tony could sit like this for hours, watching Peter on his knees in front of him, begging for his cock.

Tony’s control snapped after a few seconds and he unzipped his pants, pulling out his cock. Peter’s gaze was fixed on him, watching as Tony stroked himself to full hardness. The boy’s eyes sparkled at the sight and Tony felt his ego burst at the covetous look on Peter’s face. He knew his cock was bigger than average, but when he saw that the boy liked his treat, it clearly inflated his ego.

“I want you to tab twice against my knees if it’s too much, you understand me, sweet boy?” Tony said forcefully, making sure the boy had understood him as he nodded.

“May I, please Mr. Stark?” Peter begged and Tony smirked at the desperation in the boy’s voice. He gestured him to come closer and took his own cock in his right hand, smearing his precome all over Peter’s face.

“Look at you, so desperate for me. You can’t wait for my cock filling your mouth, can you, boy?”

Peter whimpered and opened his mouth wider, trying to coax the billionaire to fed him his cock. But Tony took his time, touching his cheeks and his lips with the tip of his cock without giving Peter what he wanted. Peter’s lips looked gorgeous coated with his precome.

Only when Peter was almost crying with desire did Tony show mercy and pressed the tip of his cock into Peter’s mouth. Tony was ready to burst. The warm wet heat made him go crazy and he closed his eyes, fighting against the urge to thrust deeply. Peter tentatively licked across his slit, tasting the salty precome and Tony felt himself twitching in Peter’s mouth, his tip bumped against Peter’s throat.

He had always loved getting head from his partner, he loved the rush of control when he buried his hands in his partner’s hair, owning his mouth and controlling his breathing. But Peter was something else. He was so beautiful on his knees in front of Tony like he belonged there, like he was made for sucking Tony’s cock. It had never felt as intense as it did today and his whole body was tingling with the rush of power.

Greedily, Peter tried to get more of the man into his mouth, but Tony stopped him effectively by grabbing his hair. “We have time, Peter.” He scolded the boy. “Take it slowly.” Patience would make everything so much better.

Peter whined, but Tony stood firm, pulling his cock out of Peter’s mouth. “Behave boy, or you’ll get nothing.”

Peter stopped struggling immediately and became pliant once again. He craved to get the billionaire back inside and Tony could see Peter’s hard cock was straining inside his jeans, but the boy kept quiet, waiting for anything the man was willing to give him.

Tony only lasted a minute until he pressed back in, giving the boy more of his cock this time. Peter moaned; the vibrations around him felt like heaven and Tony groaned loudly. Gone was the slow rhythm. He started to thrust into the boy’s mouth, feeding him more and more every time he dived back in. Peter was taking him like a champ, sucking him, pleasing him, doing everything he demanded of the boy.

Peter had started to rub his cock against Tony’s leg and the billionaire could see the look in the boy’s eyes, could see how far gone he was. He was deeply trapped in his submission for him and Tony promised himself to take care of the boy, to show him pleasure he had never experienced before. If he commanded Peter to come in his pants now, Peter would probably, spilling over Tony’s legs like a dog in heat.

“You are made for this, made to be my little cock slut. I just need to feed you my cock and you are ready to burst, rubbing all over me like a bitch in heat.”

Peter groaned and Tony used the opportunity to press deeper. The boy’s throat convulsed around his heavy flesh and he started to gag, but Tony showed no mercy. He fucked Peters throat however he wanted, only drawing back when the boy needed to breath. He loved the tight heat surrounding his tip, loved that Peter didn’t complain but took him like he was made for it. Nothing had ever felt better than Peter’s throat convulsing around his tip and he lost himself in the moment with his boy.

When Tony sensed he was getting close, he pulled back, resting his tip on the boy’s tongue. He didn’t want to come too soon, he wanted to bend the boy over later, burying himself in that plump little ass. Peter whined at the loss, begging with his innocent eyes for his cock once more, but he didn’t move. Tony was proud of him.

“I want to take you to the bedroom and fuck you.” Tony growled, gripping the base of his cock to stop himself from spilling. “Is that okay with you?” He watched his boy closely, making sure he didn't do anything Peter didn't want to do.

“Please, Mr. Stark.” Peter was already begging, shifting on his knees, unable to get any friction on his neglected cock.

Tony closed his eyes and pulled himself together so as not to lose his patience. “I want you to go to the bedroom now. Undress yourself and get comfortable on the bed. I’ll be right there.”

“Yes, Daddy.” Peter replied, sending a jolt of arousal through Tony’s body. The billionaire composed himself, needing a second to get the feelings under control. He was almost relieved when the boy left him alone, afraid he would come too soon if he didn’t get a second to calm down. He no longer young, and it would end too quickly if he followed right away.

Still, he couldn't stand it for five minutes until he went into the bedroom, getting lube and a condom from the bathroom first. The view that greeted him was breath-taking. Peter had taken off all his clothes and folded them neatly beside the bed. He was lying on his stomach, shoulders pressed into the bed while his ass was lifted into the air. The boy had spread his legs like he was presenting for Tony, his milky white cheeks on display.

“Baby, you’re beautiful.” Tony gasped in wonder, carefully stroking his fingers across the white globes. He couldn’t resist spreading Peter’s cheeks with his hands, revealing the tight pink hole in between. Peter whimpered.

He had been dreaming about that ass ever since he had spilled over Peter’s back. He’d imagined what it would feel like to thrust into the tight little pucker, glistening with lube and puffy from Tony fingering it open. He had fought the urge for month, always holding back and now that he was allowed to touch, it felt like his dream would come true. He gently tabbed his middle finger against the pucker, testing how the skin would feel.

Peter cried under the touch, squirming on the bed and trying to press his ass closer to Tony.

“Shh, sweet boy.” Tony cooed, gently caressing Peter’s back. “We have time. Don’t try to suck my finger down your greedy little hole without lube, okay?” Peter answered with a whine, sounding like a kicked puppy and Tony couldn’t stop himself from thinking how cute his boy was.

“Daddy, please. I can’t wait any longer. Give me a finger, now.”

Tony slapped his ass a response, watching the flesh wiggle afterwards. He loved his boy’s eagerness, but he couldn’t let such demanding behaviour slide. “Patience, boy.” He growled. “Patience or you will get nothing.”

Tony loved how Peter reacted to the threat, how pliant and good he became, how he fought against himself to be his best for Tony but holding back was as straining for the billionaire as it was for his boy. So, he flipped the cap of the lube open and poured a huge amount directly onto Peter’s lower back, letting it dribble down in Peter’s crack. Peter flinched from the cold and a sadistic part of Tony enjoyed it immensely.

“I’m gonna spread you open.” Tony promised. “Make you ready and gaping for my cock. I’ll fuck you with my fingers until you’re begging for more.”

“Please, please. I’ll do anything.” The begging went straight to Tony’s cock, his baby was marvellous when he was losing his mind.

Tony coated his fingers in the clear fluid, one hand wrapped around his own cock without moving it, the other one moving lower to Peter’s entrance. His right index finger tipped against Peter’s hole teasingly, and Tony watched with smug satisfaction how it twitched. The boy’s breath quickened and strained muscles showed how difficult it was for Peter not to move.

“Shh, you’re doing fine, my boy. So beautiful, so perfect. Relax, open up for me, Pete. Let me in.” Tony started to mumble, helping his boy to relax under his words, while his finger still played with the tight pink pucker. He had never seen anything more beautiful than Peter in at the moment, lying there so trustingly and obediently, moaning occasionally under Tony’s hands. He didn’t want to wait any longer.

Much less carefully than he had originally planned, Tony thrusted his finger in, forcing the wet heat to open up. Both moaned simultaneously. Peter was warm and soft inside, wet from the huge amount of lube, and Tony couldn’t wait to split him open on his cock. But he could seriously hurt Peter if he went too fast, so he was content to add another finger.

Peter’s discipline broke when Tony spread both fingers to prepare him for the billionaire’s cock. “Daddy, p-please more. I can take more. Please, I want it to burn a l-little.” He moved his hips back, impaling himself on Tony’s fingers. He was a responsive little thing, already moaning like he was fucked thoroughly.

And who was Tony do deny his beautiful boy such a lovely request? He lubed up a third finger, pressing it in the tight little hole next to the other two. It was too fast, the stretch must burn like hell, but Peter took it like a champ, rocking his hips back and forth, already moaning for another one.

Tony starred at him in wonder, his own cock painfully hard in his grip, barely holding back. “Almost there, baby. Just a few more seconds.”

Tony withdraw his finger, making Peter whine about the loss, opened a condom and pulled it over his leaking cock. He reached for the lube bottle again, purring more on his length and dropped it open onto the sheets. He didn’t care about the mess he was making, too focused on the vision in front of him.

“Can you turn around for me, boy?” Tony requested, helping Peter to get into the desired position. His boy way laying on his back and Tony could see the cute blush on his face, his eyes sparkling with lust.

He gripped Peter’s legs, forcing them wide open to make room for himself. He lined his cock, the tip pressed against the stretched hole, but not quiet bracing it. Peter was lost in his pleasure, squirming on the bed, his neglected cock pulsing and leaking onto his stomach.

“Please, Mr. Stark. I can’t wait anymore.” Tony wasn’t sure if he could ever get enough from his boy’s begging, loving how lost and open Peter was in bed. He didn’t play his arousal, he was truly losing himself in Tony’s arms. Savouring the closeness to his soulmate, Tony pressed in.

It was like coming home and Tony let out a loud moan. The boy’s hole slowly opened up for him, letting his cock in inch by inch. Peter was tight, tighter than anyone Tony had ever fucked before and he gripped him so good he was almost afraid of shooting early. He couldn’t compare it to anything he had ever felt, his whole body was tingling, buzzing from the pleasure and his mind shut down. He no longer thought about work, about his lab or his problems, the only thing on his mind was Peter, nothing matters but giving Peter the same pleasure he was feeling.

When Tony had bottomed out, he paused for a second, giving Peter time to adjust to his girth. He loved holding Peter down, choking him on his cock, but he didn’t want to hurt him seriously. His boy, on the other hand, didn’t care about the pain that much. He bucked backwards, impaling himself further on Tony’s cock, moaning like a slut for him.

“Fuck, sweet boy. You need it bad, don’t you?” Tony teased, catching the boy’s hips to stop him from moving. “Such a slut for Daddy’s cock.”

Peter cried out, arms wrapping around Tony’s neck and his hole twitching around the thick girth. Tony could see the frustration in Peter’s eyes, tears running down his cheeks. Out of pity, perhaps because he couldn't wait any longer either, the billionaire started to move, his hips pistoling his length in Peter’s body.

“Look at you, boy.” Tony gasped. “You’re usually so shy, but once you get dicked down properly, you’re whimpering like a slut. Is that all you need to relax? A fat hard cock in your ass, filling you up?”

“Yes, Daddy.” Peter cried, shame long forgotten. “B-but only yours, Daddy. Need only your cock.”

Tony snarled possessively, his cock twitching at the possibility of owning this lovely boy.

They did not have time to take things slowly, they had done slow in the last months. Tony forced himself into Peter’s body again and again, watching the pink pucker where they were joint, and he knew he couldn’t last much longer. He shifted slightly, aiming for Peter’s prostate and a loud cry confirmed he had found it.

“So good for me, baby boy.” Tony was panting. “You look so beautiful spread around my cock. You were made for me, made to be my little slut, weren’t you?”

“Yes, Daddy. Yes, please. Made for you, only for you.” Peter was really a sweet little thing.

Peter’s untouched cock was angry red, bouncing between them and Tony loved the desperate picture. He didn’t touch it, gripping his boy’s hips tighter instead, thrusting into Peter’s hole like his life depended on it.

The boy was about to lose himself, his moans getting louder and louder, his hips twitching on the sheets with such force that Tony was unable to hold them still. Tony’s pleasure kept rising and he knew he would come soon, so he fumbled between their bodies to touch Peters cock.

“Daddy, T-Tony, I’m coming.” Peter screamed. “Please, I’m so close.”

“Then come for me.” Tony said, adoration in his voice. “Come for me, now.”

As soon as he touched the tip of Peter’s cock, his boy was coming. He convulsed, his hole squeezing around Tony while his back lifted off the bed. The boy’s eyes rolled back in his head and Tony watched in awe as Peter was consumed by his orgasm. He was so beautiful, Tony felt warmth spreading in his chest.

He was close, too, keeping up the thrusts to search for his own orgasm. He continued fucking Peter, watching his boy riding the height of his pleasure, never slowing down. Peter’s face was twisted from overstimulation, but Tony showed no mercy.

He felt himself getting close, the familiar tingle starting in his spine and he picked up his pace. White hot pleasure rushed through his body, amplified by Peter’s still twitching hole. Tony came, his hips stuttering while he buried himself as deep in the boy as possible. It was overwhelming, waves and waves of pleasure were crashing down on him, and his cock was spilling inside of the condom. He came longer than he ever did before, needing minutes to catch his breath.

When Tony felt like moving again, he pulled out carefully, earning a wince from his boy. He stripped off the condom, fastened it with a knot and dropped it on the floor. Then, he picked up some handkerchiefs from the bedside table, cleaning Peter sporadically, before pulling him into his arms.

“I love you.” Tony mumbled, pressing a kiss on Peter’s forehead and listening to their fast beating hearts.

“I love you too.” His boy shifted, until Tony was laying on his back, Peter’s head resting on his chest.

“Tony, it was… wow.” Peter said, making the billionaire smile, and wondering how he had ever earned such luck.

“Yes, it was.” Tony replied, stroking Peter’s bare back as he lost himself in the moment.

Being close to Peter was all he could ever want. He wanted to fuck his boy, spend time with his boy and cuddle him to death. He wanted him as a partner more than he had ever wanted Pepper. Peter was perfect for him, and with the boy b his side, Tony knew he could face everything.

On the bedside drawer was Peters present, still wrapped up. Tony had booked a trip through Europe, planning to show Peter more than just the hospital in Switzerland, but he couldn't bring himself to get up so quickly to give Peter his present.

His eyes drifted shut, satisfied with the good sex and Tony knew he had never been happier in his life. It didn't matter what he would read about them in the media the next day, he could bear anything if only his soul mate was by his side.

#starker #ironspider #soulmates

20 notes · View notes

ifbrd · 4 years

Note

Since the old villains in Word Up have been reformed, mind sharing what happened to them and how they turned their lives around? Do they play any part in Word Up?

Okay, so this time I was smart and decided to type this out in a word document!

Long post warning!

Before getting into each individual villain (or most villains, there’s just so dang many of them! I’m sure I’ll forget someone!) I want to talk about them as a whole.

All of them are reformed, and Tobey was basically the start of it all. He inspired several other villains, who inspired others, and over the years they all slowly gave up villain life. The last ones to quit (either BLHG and Invisi-Bill or Rhyme and Reason or both) did so after WordGirl retired from being a hero, because “everyone else did it and it’s not going to be any fun without WordGirl!”

After a few villains went good, Tobey and Dr. Two Brains co-founded the Anti-Villain Association (AVA), which was designed to be a place where villains, or even just minor criminals, who wanted to go good could go to discuss their struggles and experiences with switching sides (it’s kinda like a villain AA meeting). I don’t have many plans for each individual villain to play a major part in the story, again because there’s so many that would have been hard, but the AVA does play a part and so, by extension, the villains do play a bit of a role. However, I think most of this will go to Two Brains since he’s the co-founder and the other co-founder will be busy with all the other plans I have for him XD.

Many of their old weapons have been discarded, but also many of them are still around. For some, it’s to use in case of emergency (like a break-in), others have found other uses for their weapons (you better believe Chuck uses his condiment ray to make sandwiches!) others just couldn’t bear to destroy them (Tobey still has some surviving robots that were designed to crush the city, they’re happily living deep deep deep in the woods because Tobey didn’t feel right about destroying them for no reason), and some weapons are more difficult to destroy (like Mr. Big’s mind control, I’ll go into that a little more when I talk about him.)

Very few of them had kids, for a couple of reasons. 1. Many were too busy trying to turn their lives around to make a family life a priority 2. Many didn’t think they’d make good parents given their criminal history 3. There’s like 30 something villains and I wasn’t about to create children for each of them that’s just so many characters I would have had to make from scratch and I already had Theo, Julie, Emma, and Daisy, not to mention the new villains I had to make and I wanted everyone to have a little bit of depth so yeah… The ones who did have kids (and I might forget someone so sorry in advance if I did) are Tobey (obviously), Victoria, the unnamed henchman of Dr. Two Brains and The Butcher

Now let's get into them individually. Many of them I don’t have the story (at least not yet, if I get time I may start brainstorming that) of why they retired as villains, but for almost all of them I have ideas on what they’re up to now because I thought that was a little more important.

Dr. Two Brains- Was the second villain to retire. He saw Tobey doing such a great job and realized he missed that life for himself and said, “well if that little shit can do it, so can I!” He knew he could ignore the mouse brain’s evil desires, as long as he could fulfill its cheese desires, so his first step was to find a legal way to get a lot of cheese. So, he and his henchman started making cheese! And because Two Brains couldn’t wait, he decided to make a cheese aging ray. Suddenly he was able to produce quite a bit of cheese in record time. And actually, could make more than he could eat. He started selling his cheese and now is the main source of cheese in the city! The company slogan is “Evilly delicious!” And I was thinking about this today at work and realized he’s probably made a lot of money from this because with the aging process completely cut, he can probably charge less, but there’s something called “perceived value” where people think if something is super cheap then there must be something wrong with it, so you want to shoot a little higher when pricing products, so Two Brains probably has to have his cheese priced higher than he needs, so he probably has a pretty decent turn over rate! Anyway! As mentioned above, his unnamed henchman had a daughter, who Two Brains considers a granddaughter. She is aware of her interesting family’s criminal history and accepts it. She loves cheese but she’s not a fan of helping in the cheese-making process.

Chuck and the Butcher- (their stories are so linked it just made more sense to talk about them together) Were the third and fourth villains to go good and did so pretty much at the same time, for similar reasons, those reasons being “this isn’t fun anymore, I’m not getting anywhere with it, and look at what a great job Tobey and Two Brains are doing!” After retiring they partnered up and started a sandwich food truck, which today is a full-blown restaurant. Chuck does most of the sandwich making, but Butcher helps and he’s the meat supplier (guess where they get their cheese from!). I mentioned that the Butcher had a child. He has one son named Kale and a grandson named Baker. His son and grandson have powers like him, with Kale’s being vegetable related and Baker’s being bread-related (bread, not pastries! Important note! However, Baker does like to bake pastries, he’s about eight BTW). Kale and Butcher’s relationship will have a bit of focus in Word Up, and Kale will be a reoccurring character. Kale is very prideful and independent and will do just about anything for Baker. Kale is aware of his dad’s criminal past, Baker probably is aware too, but IDK maybe not. Chuck being close to the Butcher is naturally close with his family. Besides that, he still spends a lot of time with his mom and Brent, who he has a bit of a healthier relationship with now.

Granny May- The fifth villain to retire, and she basically just retired. She basically said “well I’m done! This is getting old and so am I!” She’s still alive, currently having the honor of being the oldest person in the city and is living in an assisted living facility. She’s pretty “together” mentally (how I describe residents at the assisted living facility I work at who haven’t been taken over by dementia yet). She uses a scooter now but carries a cane with her. Why? To whack people who need to have some sense knocked into them of course! Other AVA members are happy to pick her up for their weekly meetings and drive her back home, despite her claims that she could still drive fine “if they would let me!” (don’t let this woman go behind the wheel anymore, don’t listen to her!)

Mr. Big and Leslie- Mr. Big was inspired by the villains before him turning their lives around and claiming to be much happier. He tried this and struggled a lot. He eventually realized his issue was greed, it was too strong for him. So, he gave everything up, he gave his company to Leslie and basically became a minimalist hippie (again, my love for irony shines through!...also I thought the idea of Big being a hippie was HILARIOUS). Leslie has run the company ethically ever since. Today it’s essentially Amazon with morals. Mr. Big and Leslie are friends and talk all the time. Their mind control tech is still around, the reason I’ve decided is that some of the later tech was so powerful that destroying it might unintentionally send out a mind control signal. I’m open to better suggestions; I just need the mind control tech to still exist and be something someone could steal…hint hint….

Ms. Question- Eventually got a job as an interrogator for the police station! She’s the best interrogator there is! She doesn’t typically use her powers on people to get them to confess, usually, they just break from the mass amount of questions she asks, but in more extreme circumstances she is willing to use her powers.

Learnerer- Like Ms. Question, Learnerer found a better gig with the police force. He’s the city’s detective, and rocks at it with all his “learninging” skills. He looks for clues and learns how criminals commit crimes and uses that information to catch criminals in the act and stop them. He often works with Ms. Question.

Amazing Rope Guy- Actually got decent at rope tricks and is an entertainer now! I won’t say he’s incredible, but he’s alright! The other AVA members often hire him for entertainment events (he’s been to several of Theo’s birthday parties and Theo has politely asked his parents to not do that anymore, so now they’re gonna hire him for Julie’s parties) more to support him than because of his skills

Whammer- is a professional demolisher. You need an old building torn down? Call the Whammer! You need to gut the kitchen of a house you’re flipping? Call the Whammer! Need to clear an area of land for a project? Call the Whammer! Need snow off the street so people can get home? Call the Whammer. He loves his job

Lady Redundant Woman- She kept moving up in her job at the copy place, and eventually had learned to do every position there. With this knowledge and skills, she opened up her own copy place where she and her copies are the sole employees. Turns out your business can make a lot of money when you can have the exact right amount of employees at all times and don’t technically have to pay them because they’re technically you!

Hal Hardbargin- Sold his villain inventions and blueprints to the police station so they could have a better understanding of how certain villain gadgets work and therefore how to stop them. Also has made a few honest weapons for some heroes

Seymore- Hosts a self-made YouTube (or YouTube-like website) show called “Can You Spot the Scam?” where he helps innocent citizens learn how to spot scams

Big Left Hand Guy and Invisi-Bill-I never could think of what they’d be up to, so I decided they are still trying to figure out what they should do next. (because my favorite thing when I have a writing problem is to take advantage of it and turn it into a plot point! …something I did with a very important plot point in Word Up that will be revealed in Return to Fair City)

Rhyme and Reason- again I don’t have too much an idea of what they’re up too, but I like to think they are a QPR because I like platonic partnerships!

I talked about Victoria and Eileen here Thanks for the question! Feel free to ask more!

#Wordgirl

35 notes · View notes

tjkiahgb · 5 years

Text

Cyrus’s Doppelgänger: An Investigation

I’m reminded of a joke from an old episode of The Simpsons.

In the episode, Homer takes a job in a different town. Shortly after he and the family arrive at their new house, his eccentric boss, Hank Scorpio, shows up to greet them. He talks about his moccasins and tells Homer he left him a pair, but if Homer doesn’t like them, then neither does he. He takes his moccasins off and tosses them away.

This exchange, which lasts all of five seconds, has led to years upon years of furious debate on the internet, which is weird because normally the internet just lets stuff go.

What did Homer mean? Did he say “Yes, once” because he just saw that very thing happen moments ago and the joke is about him being stupid? Did he mean he saw that same thing happen prior to that day and the joke is about the randomness of life?

The whole thing is so vague and absurd that the answer isn’t clear and both choices can be considered workable solutions.

Why do I bring this up?

Because I believe Andi Mack has a similarly ambiguous joke.

One which has caused a lot of strife.

One which has been on my mind for well over a year.

One which I determined I needed an answer to.

This called for an investigation. And not just any investigation. A cool, trendy, documentary series-style investigation, with multiple parts split up by stylish titles.

After half a year of research -- reviewing hours and hours of tape, conducting hundreds of interviews, and reading some notes -- I believe I may have found an answer.

This whole mystery begins back in episode four of season two. Titled “Mama,” the episode was directed by Eyal Gordon and written by series creator Terri Minsky herself.

In a scene that occurs about midway through the episode, Jonah teaches Cyrus how to skateboard and he says, “You’re one of a kind, Cyrus.”

To which Cyrus responds...

Stop and think about this for a second. What exactly is the meaning behind this joke?

I believe before we can begin to investigate any possibilities, we have to first look at the definition of the word “doppelgänger.” And the best way to do that is to go to the source.

One of the earliest English dictionaries ever produced is A Table Alphabeticall, published in London in the year 1604 and written by Robert Cawdrey. There are no known images of Robert Cawdrey so I made one.

Cawdrey’s dictionary still exists today. It is kept in the Bodleian Library at the University of Oxford.

Now, I’m not a professional investigator, but having watched quite a few of these documentaries, I knew the best move was to always follow your instincts. So I followed my investigator’s instincts and booked a first-class ticket on a non-stop flight to England to see the dictionary.

Well imagine my surprise and disgust when the stuffy librarians at Oxford wouldn’t let me handle the dictionary or highlight the passages I wanted. I tried to explain to them what tumblr was and they didn’t get it. They told me I couldn’t have their precious little dictionary even after I told them I came all the way from America for this!

And then someone started trying to tell me that Cawdrey’s dictionary was published almost 200 years before the invention of the word “doppelgänger,” so even if I could dig through A Table Alphabeticall, I wouldn’t find it in there. Let me tell you, I did not take that well. There was a lot of yelling on both ends and then they called security on me.

Long story short, I returned to America $12,000 in the hole and no closer to solving the mystery.

Once back in America, I decided to go to the Merriam-Webster website and look up the definition and take a screenshot of it.

I tried to make it look old-ish though. It looks like a scan from an old book, right? Okay. Cool.

Now, look at those definitions. The word “doppelgänger” is literally German for “double-walker.” Keep this all in mind as we move forward. We’re not talking about shared interests here. We’re talking about clones, we’re talking about mirror images, we’re talking about twins separated at birth -- things of that nature.

We’re also talking about ghosts? I don’t think this is a ghost thing though, so let’s ignore the second definition.

It’s also, I guess, just literally anyone who has the same name as you? That’s ridiculous. So, what, every John Smith has millions of doppelgängers? Dumb. So dumb. Ignore that definition, too.

Let’s just hone in on the one about seeing your look-alike.

So, when Cyrus says he’s met his doppelgänger, who is he talking about?

Fans, in discussing this joke before, had considered Iris as a possible solution.

In fact, it’s sort of commonly accepted that Cyrus is talking about Iris because she was still a part of his life at that time so she could easily be on his mind, and they share a lot of similar interests.

And, frankly, she’s really the only person this joke could’ve been about, if it was a reference to someone we’ve actually seen in the show.

But let’s think back to the definition of a doppelgänger. Does that really sound like it’s describing Iris? Again, this isn’t about those shared interests. This isn’t about how much you gel with someone. This is about seeing your visual counterpart.

For a refresher, let’s take a look at both characters from an earlier episode.

Now, the differences are subtle but I think if you really look closely you can tell they aren’t doubles because they look like entirely different people.

I believe we accepted Iris as the answer because she was there. It was convenient and it allowed us to move on. But thinking about it now, it was clear that choice was just to provide us comfort. That doesn’t mean it was correct. Far from it.

So, no, Iris clearly isn’t Cyrus’s doppelgänger. And if that’s the case, then who might he be talking about?

There had to be another answer. But what?

The trail went cold for several months.

Until one day I was rewatching the season two episode, “For the Last Time,” and found a game-changing clue.

In “For the Last Time,” Cyrus and Andi prepare a time capsule for Buffy before she moves away.

In the scene in which the two place objects into the time capsule, Andi chooses to add a picture of them at Costume Day in the 6th grade.

There! Stop!

Zoom in and enhance!

More! Zoom in and enhance more!

Not good enough! Zoom in and enhance more!

Dammit! I thought. Why was this happening to me, of all people? I was running an investigation, not a tile art workshop! How come when I shouted “enhance” at my screen it didn’t enhance?!

Faced with a dilemma, I did what any veteran investigator would do: I threw more money at the problem. After spending $2,300 on a completely new computer setup in an attempt to enhance, failing to enhance once again, and then spending two days going back and forth on the phone with IT specialists, I was told “enhance” was not a thing.

My inability to enhance was another tremendous blow to the investigation.

Or it would have been, except that the picture appeared another time in the show, in the season one episode, “Terms of Embarrassment,” when Bowie put it in his video for Andi.

Should I have started this chapter with this picture? Probably!

But I wanted you to know I had to suffer through several long conversations with IT nerds where they were constantly rude to me about what I could and could not do on a computer. They kept making snide remarks about how I spent way too much on a setup I didn’t need, and I kept telling them I called to get tech support, not a lecture. It was very trying.

Anyway, now that you know that, let’s “enhance” this picture.

Just as I had thought: Cyrus Goodman, wearing a costume.

But what was that costume? Who -- or what -- was he dressed as?

The hard work began again. After weeks of research, during which I spent thousands of dollars purchasing and reviewing Blu-ray movies and television show collections, I was finally able to make an educated guess. His costume appeared to be the fictional character Bunga.

To confirm, I went looking for official Bunga costumes on the internet.

I found only these toddler-sized ones:

Not a match to Cyrus’s costume. A set-back to the theory to be sure.

However, I assumed that Cyrus, since he is marginally larger than a toddler, also ran into the same problem I did and therefore had to make his own Bunga costume.

Luckily, if you were looking to make such a costume, there are a few pictures online of homemade Bunga costumes that could help guide you in the process, like this one I found from an enthusiastic fan on Pinterest.

Seemed like a match to Cyrus’s costume. The theory was back on track.

All of this led to the next important question the investigation needed to answer: who is Bunga?

Bunga is a character from the animated TV show, The Lion Guard.

This is Bunga.

According to one of the greatest sources of man’s collective knowledge, The Lion Guard fandom wiki, Bunga is Timon and Pumbaa’s adoptive nephew.

This raises a lot of questions, not the least of which about the nature of Timon and Pumbaa’s relationship.

Also, can you just adopt a nephew? What legal rights does that give you? Those of an uncle? What are those? Is that just the right to pick up your nephew from school when his parents are busy? The right to drink too much at a family gathering and start talking politics? The right to take your nephew to a horror movie he’s too young to see that’s going to give him nightmares for the next decade?

I interviewed several lawyers who told me Avuncular Law was not a thing. They also didn’t want to go on record answering hypotheticals about talking animals adopting each other. This didn’t really impede the investigation in any way, but it was wildly unsatisfying on a personal level to not get these answers.

Anyway, The Lion Guard fandom wiki tells us that some of Bunga’s personality traits include: “[having] a soft spot for baby animals,” “[being] somewhat of a comedian who likes telling jokes to his friends in which they sometimes find funny,” and “also at times, Bunga can be clever at times.”

Bunga is also considered very “brave.”

All told, it’s easy to see why Cyrus might be drawn toward Bunga. He shares some of his lighter traits, while he also likely admires Bunga’s courage.

So we know that Cyrus watches The Lion Guard and likes the character Bunga.

But what does that have to do with anything?

Well, if you dig a little deeper, here’s where the connection gets interesting. According to IMDb, Bunga is voiced by Joshua Rush.

Now you’re probably asking yourself the same thing I was: who is Joshua Rush?

Joshua Rush is an actor.

According to IMDb, he’s 5′7 and a half, bilingual, and also, Alec Baldwin once played a character named Joshua Rush in the 1980s.

I don’t know what that means.

What I do know is this: on Joshua Rush’s IMDb page are a collection of pictures of him, and that’s where I found the most staggering turn in the investigation yet:

I let out an audible gasp upon seeing this.

Now, mind you, I’d been so deep into researching this post at this point that hadn’t slept in well over four days and I was on so much cough medication I forgot shapes, but this was still absolutely shocking to me.

Look at these two side-by-side:

The image on the left is a promotional still from Actor Joshua Rush’s IMDb page, the image on the right is of Cyrus from a season one episode.

Now there are obviously some slight differences, like their facial expressions or where on their shoulder they rest the strap of their satchel, but besides that, Actor Joshua Rush’s likeness to Cyrus is stunning.

In fact, you might almost say he’s a mirror-image, a double, a... doppelgänger?

So that leaves us with the final question to be answered: has Cyrus Goodman met Actor Joshua Rush?

Picture, if you would, a voice actor meet and greet. Do you have the image in your mind?

Are you thinking of a convention center?

Are you seeing fans lined up to meet voice-over artists? They stand around for an hour or two awaiting the opportunity to shake a hand or take a selfie or get a headshot signed by one of their heroes.

Now imagine Cyrus Goodman being one of those fans. Waiting for a chance to meet the voice actor for his favorite character on one of his favorite shows: The Lion Guard.

He gets to the front of the line and sees the actor. Maybe they shake hands. Maybe Cyrus says something nice about his acting ability. Cyrus notes their similarities in his mind. Wow! We look so oddly alike! he thinks. There’s a German word for this exact situation. I’ll have to look it up later. But not in Robert Cawdrey’s A Table Alphabeticall, because I guess it’s not in there or whatever.

Perhaps, he also thinks, this could be an interesting little anecdote I might one day share with a friend while he teaches me to skateboard.

He departs shortly thereafter and leaves the convention center. The two never cross paths again, but Cyrus always remembers.

It’s plausible.

It’s definitely plausible.

But it’s not certain.

And unfortunately, plausible but not certain is where this story ends. Speculation is as good as we can do. I doubt we’ll ever get confirmation about this.

As best I can tell in my research, Actor Joshua Rush is one of those reclusive celebrity types like J.D. Salinger or Daniel Day-Lewis or Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Very quiet, reserved. Probably lives on farm somewhere. No social media accounts or anything like that. Definitely not the type to troll an entire fandom on tumblr with incomprehensible emoji clues. Make you spend several hours trying to figure out what 🌭 means like I’m some stupid modern day hieroglyphologist. Sausage? Relish? What does a burger have that a taco doesn’t?! It’s two in the morning and I’m fifteen paragraphs deep into the Wikipedia article for sandwiches, poring over the words like I’m on the precipice of discovery, like learning that “Oreos and Custard Creams are described as sandwich biscuits (UK/Commonwealth) or sandwich cookies (US) because they consist of a soft filling between the baked layers” is going to be the key to something, that it’s going to be meaningful to me in some way. Well guess what? Not even close! It’s fine. I’m not still mad about this. It’s fine.

I’m fine.

Dan Castellaneta, the voice actor for Homer Simpson, once told Buzzfeed he improvised the “Yes, once” response intending it to mean that Homer had previously seen someone say goodbye to a shoe. But, he admitted, the other interpretation was funnier.

And so that was that.

Years of debate settled with a whimper. The official version? The better version? There was zero forethought put into it. The joke was whatever you wanted it to be.

One thing is for certain, hearing from the actor didn’t help anything. In fact, it probably just made things worse. So I’ll tell you this much, the last thing any of us needs is for Actor Joshua Rush to ruin the mystery by weighing in on this. I never want to hear from him on it.

Never.

Because maybe it’s for the best we never get a concrete answer. The joke is whatever you want it to be. We are the makers of our own reality.

Me personally? I spent half a year working on this and I’ve learned to live in the mystery. To me, Cyrus’s doppelgänger exists and it doesn’t. It’s answered and it’s still a mystery. It’s Iris, it’s Actor Joshua Rush, it’s you and it’s me.

It is everything. And it is nothing.

And I accept that.

Or perhaps... perhaps I just tell myself I’m okay with that answer so I can try to sleep again at night.

#Andi Mack #Cyrus Goodman #discussion

331 notes · View notes

razberryyum · 5 years

Photo

Positive Things about Guardian as a series (spoilers)

So I’ve been pretty harsh about the production team behind Guardian (writers, directors, set designers, wardrobe, the crew…including the extras…basically anyone who are not Bai Yu, Zhu Yilong, the actors who played Old Chu, Little Guo and Zhu Hong, who are Jiang Ming Yang, Xin Peng and Gao Yu Er, respectively) and about the quality of the show as a whole when it doesn’t involve our main characters/leads, and I’ve actually been feeling bad about that now that the initial sense of shock has worn off a little. As a result, I woke up this morning and decided to make a list of all things that are GOOD about the show. Now, I am still hurting about how it ended and the things that went wrong which imho could have easily NOT (f.e. the 10,000 years dirt nap), but…BUT I will try my best NOT to let that negativity seep into this.

So here goes, in no particular order, the positive things about the show:

- the show even exists. I mean, really, God bless, especially considering where it’s made. How did that even happen?? Despite all my bitching, I still marvel (almost DAILY so far) at the fact that Guardian exists and I got to watch it cuz China could’ve easily never put it back online.

- the existence of Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan. But that’s pretty much a given. Especially since my life is forever changed because of them.

- every Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan scene together. That’s a given also. I would not be surprised if the writers literally used all their meager talent and energy on constructing those moments so that’s why they didn’t have much juice left for everything else. I mean, that’s a good thing, right? Kinda.

- they got Bai Yu and Zhu Yilong to play Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei. I really hope the two actors got compensated well for their performances, though somehow I doubt it, especially since, from what I understand ZYL (omg I just stupidly realized the acronym for his name is the same as Zhao Yunlan’s. Wtf that is so cute!) was still very slowly rising in the ranks. But hopefully their current popularity as a result of the show has made up for it.

- the score and songs. Bought the OST from iTunes like one or two episodes in, loved the score and themes. I even bought Bai Yu and Zhu Yilong’s duet “Time of Flight” a few times (different platforms, different devices) cuz I just wanted to contribute to them…even though…who knows if they even see a cent from it, and pretty sure my few measly dollars probably isn’t helping anything. Probably just makes me seem stupid and insane.

- the cute episode titles. Which I wasn’t even aware of until @avenuex123 pointed it out. Adorable.

- the censorship. Ok, censorship is never good imo, but in this singular case, perhaps because there were existing restrictions on the BL subject matter, the actors therefore were willing to sign on since they knew they didn’t have to do anything explicit (or maybe they would’ve been willing, this is just my own stupid assumption because of how Chinese society is…I say that as an Asian American with many…erm…”old-fashioned” friends and family members) AND they probably saw it as challenge to find creative ways to convey the nature of the characters while working within the confines of censorship laws. Although, this might be a case of me just trying to look on the bright side.

- the easter eggs. I agree with fellow Guardian fans who have pointed out that there was some love put into the making of this show, which is clearly exemplified in the small momentos scattered throughout the series.

- the time travel concept. Not that the delve into the past was done well because I did have problems with it, but I did really appreciate the fact that Zhao Yunlan was the one and only all along due to his being sucked up into the wormhole and spit back out 10,000 years in the past to meet Shen Wei for the first time. I thought it was a tremendously romantic idea…even if the general execution of the past left a lot to be desired. I promised that I wouldn’t be negative, but I still have to say that while love at first sight is a lovely notion, it was still a bit hard to swallow that SW would fall SOOOO head over heels with ZYL after just conversing with him for like a few hours, to the point that he would pine for him for 10,000 years (though it’s probably technically more like a few decades due to his dirt nap, but I’ll buy it felt like 10K years to him). I just wish ZYL spent more time in the past with SW, and actually @xparrot‘s fic (”Now Lie In It" on AO3) made me feel a LOT better about the whole thing since they successfully fixed the problem by awesomely separating each scene we saw into days and years. But I did like the time travel idea; it was cool, even though it’s different from the novel.

- the nature of the necklace. I really liked the candy wrapper core. Broke my heart into bits and pieces in a GOOD way. Really loved everything about it. I understand it’s different in the novel as well, but in the context of the changes done for the show, I thought that was a pretty brilliant move.

- the Da Qing and ZYL ownership scene in episode 35 with SW listening. Loved that scene and the multiple purposes it was serving: establishing Da Qing’s relationship with ZYL, giving voice to how SW was feeling about ZYL leaving, inspiring SW with the necklace idea, and then of course, the censorship workaround because it was like very homo while being nohomo at the same time.

- SW and ZYL’s wardrobe. Probably a given since the fact that I love them means I love everything about them, but, like, SW even looked good as the Black Cloak Envoy and ZYL as Kunlun and those outfits (and their hairstyles) could’ve gone wrong so easily…thank God no one thought it was a good idea to make them wear a stupid looking afro wig or feathers on their heads.

- Old Chu/Little Guo. They were adorable, my second OTP from the show, and I was seriously jealous of all the PDA they were getting away with.

- recurring characters. Even though some of their acting abilities were highly questionable, I did appreciate how certain characters introduced in the beginning of the show would pop up again later on. I’m sure a good part of that was to save on hiring more people, but I still thought it was neat. For example, I wasn’t too fond of the merit brush dude (cuz his story was dumb and draggy), but I did like how this innocuous store owner that was little more than a background character at the start eventually became one of the villains.

- Ye Zun. He’s so CUTE. I mean, ok, Zhu Yilong playing him helped, but just seriously, his character is so fucked up and misguided and emo and adorable that I just wanted to give him a big hug all the time. When that shitty cockatoo he calls “Boss”** started smacking him around, I wanted to reach into the screen and throttle that ugly POS. I wouldn’t even be surprised if that asshole more than physically abused Ye Zun. Anyway, I just felt bad for the little puppy. I wish we got to spend more time with him and that he got redeemed earlier so that he could enjoy some love and hugs before being led into the wormhole (or…wherever it was that his big bro was heading off with him…wait, would it be the wormhole? But they died, right? So technically it should be like the reincarnation hole?) **(btw, why “Boss”? Why not “Leader”? Are the head villains paying their henchmen to follow them? So weird that they call their leaders “boss” which would imply they’re being paid wages which I truly doubt is the case)

- Da Qing. He’s a cutie too. Really wish the kitty girl had lived so that he wouldn’t be all alone, now that ZYL is gone. I guess Tech boy Lin Jing is going to take care of him now?

- Zhu Hong. When she wasn’t inexplicably screaming her dialogue, I did like her…but a huge part of that is probably because I remember the actress from Yanxi Palace (she was playing a small villainous role but she did a good job) and I felt sorry for her. Putting the unrequited love aside, it must also be tough seeing ZYL now and yet knowing that’s not even the same guy she loves at all. Damn, that actually must be so unsettling for everyone who knew the old ZYL.

- the personality swap episode (ep 25). THAT was freaking adorable. Just wish it lasted longer and that eventually it affected SW and ZYL. Although, since they already eye-fuck each other like 99% of the time, what would be different? I guess SW would be a little looser…and ZYL would be a bit more sad and pining-er? (Btw, I literally never heard of the word “microexpressions” until Zhu Yilong entered my life). Omg, an image of them switching outfits just popped into my head. Oh shit, that would’ve been FUN to see. Dammit.

That’s all I could come up with for now…I’ll probably add more as I think of more things. Please feel free to contribute if you think of positive things I’ve left out. I might not agree but I’d still love to hear them.

#Guardian #Zhen hun #镇魂 #spoilers #Shen Wei #Zhao Yunlan #WeiLan #Shen Wei x Zhao Yunlan #Ye Zun #Chu/Guo #Chu Shu Zhi #Guo Changcheng #Da Qing #Zhu Hong #coping mechanism

74 notes · View notes

jbuffyangel · 5 years

Text

It Ain't Nothing but a Family Thing: Arrow 7x17 Review (Inheritance)

“Inheritance” is equal parts necessary exposition and filler episode. Not quite sure how the writers accomplished that, but they did.

Let’s dig in…

Emiko and Oliver

Soooo… here’s the problem guys. I don’t really care about Emiko. The whole time I’m watching this plot line unfold I am thinking, “Couldn’t Thea have gone all evil?”

Take a pause and give that a good think. How awesome would it have been for Thea to take a deep dive down the evil hole? It would have been amazing, which is why I loudly demanded it for the six years Willa Holland was on the show.

Watching Oliver try to pull Thea away from the Ninth Circle would have been a good time.

Not so much with Replacement Thea. The problem is I just met Emiko this season. I understand that’s typically the case when it comes to Arrow villains, but I’m supposed to bond with her character as Oliver’s sister and then be horrified when she turns out to be a villain.

Arrow even tried to fast track my bonding by making Emiko into Oliver 2.0. I’m not really seeing the individualism except for evil. Every week the writers were hanging a sign out that said, “SEE? SHE’S JUST LIKE OLIVER!” by mimicking previous OG Oliver Queen scenes. Just in case you missed any of the visual cues or copied verbatim scenes, the other characters are here to verbally proclaim Emiko is just like her brother.

Eh… keep it. Unfortunately, none of this has accomplished Arrow’s intended goal which is for me to give a crap about Emiko.

It should be noted that when Arrow does the “SEE? SHE’S JUST LIKE OLIVER” with Mia or “SEE? HE’S JUST LIKE FELICITY!” with William (and vice versus) I love it. Yes, I am aware this is a double standard. Maybe it’s because the kids have more personality than cardboard. Sorry Emiko. Facts are facts. Maybe it’s because they are Olicity’s kids and therefore my investment is virtually guaranteed. I don’t know. I don’t care. It’s Season 7 and I’m gonna do me.

The only thing keeping me mildly entertained with Emiko is that she is evil. I’m not really interested in watching her be redeemed either. I know I know. The season theme is redemption, but come on! Someone has to burn in the fires of Hades for all eternity. It doesn’t mean anything if every character is redeemed.

Typically, I am down for Robert Queen flashbacks whenever possible, but in order to make this storyline work they had to turn Oliver’s father into a tremendous pile of stinking douchebag. Robert was always kind of a douchebag what with the whole killing a man by accident, lying about it and then getting embroiled in Merlyn’s plot to destroy half the city because of his guilt.

But he had gravitas. The class of an elder statesman. Maybe it’s the silver hair and grumbly grandpa voice I pray Oliver Queen will have some day. Maybe it’s because he put a bullet in his head to save his son. Annnnd… also murdered someone else in the process. Alright. Robert was a douchebag, but he was a mildly noble douchebag and I love him okay? I DON’T KNOW WHY!

But the Robert Queen in “Inheritance” is a misogynistic, slimy, cheating, coward who kicks his mistress and love child out of the swanky apartment he was putting them up at and tells his daughter, “Life isn’t fair. We don’t always get what we want.” Wow.

That’s a great way to create a villain, Robert. Watch Batman or Star Wars or ANY HERO STORY EVER and learn fool.

Emiko worked hard to get her father’s approval or acknowledgement of her existence to the world. She wanted to run Queen Consolidated, but nope that’s a man’s job sweetie. Oliver Queen and his penis, which was whoring its way through Starling City at the time, are destined for CEO. Emiko takes Robert’s misogyny in stride and simply asks him to back a company of her own, but he balks at that too. This is the last straw in a very long line of straws.

Unfortunately, Emiko doesn’t tell her father where to stick it and cut off all contact. No, that would be reasonable. Instead, she decides to go super villain on him. She impresses Dante after stealing from him and he agrees to train her. Emiko vacillates between being a Queen and joining the Ninth Circle for years, but the final brush off from Robert is the tipping point. She decides Dante is right and the Ninth Circle is her real family.

Oliver follows Emiko after Bl*ck S*ren warns she may not be playing for the home team and he sees her with Dante. Oliver confronts Emiko and she sings some song and dance about not knowing who the real Dante was when she signed up with him. Now she’s trapped. It works. Oliver buys it hook line and sinker, because blindly ignoring blatant warning signs is what he does when it comes to the Queen family.

He smartens up once he figures out Emiko sabotaged Felicity’s Archer program to protect Dante’s location. DO NOT MESS WITH THE WIFEY’S TOYS.

Oliver and Emiko face off in a fight that’s a lot about her ponytail. It had a life of its own.

Sadly, this is one of the worst fights I’ve seen in Arrow’s history. I really hope Sea Shimooka isn’t taking acting tips from KC, because it sure looks like it.

WHO IS SHE LOOKING AT? I’m not putting all the blame at her feet. Stephen upped his cheese factor about ten notches too. The whole scene felt awkward, choppy and forced.

Source: smoakmonster

Diggle sits Oliver down for a much needed Yoda talk. John warns him not to be so invested in Emiko’s redemption that he ignores the threat she poses. Ah yes, the evil sibling plot line also happened in Season 4 with Diggle and Andy.

Yeesh, alright it’s time for this show to end. John’s need to save his brother ultimately cost L*urel her life and he doesn’t want Oliver to make the same mistake.

It’s time you left yourself off the hook on that one, Diggle.

It was all win from where I sat, so stop being so hard on yourself.

UGH. I tell the man to be Jesus and then he starts acting like Jesus!!! The nerve. Oliver, being a fully realized superhero doesn’t mean you save EVERYONE. Jesus didn’t save every – never mind. The point is, after seven seasons, now the pine tree listens to me? He could’ve popped the question in Season 3 and I’d be on my way to a second set of triplets, but nooooo.

Oliver wants to redeem Emiko because then it means he’s redeemed the family in some way.

Source: olivergifs

Why isn’t enough that you’ve redeemed yourself Oliver? You’re a Queen. You count. Yes, you were a massive douchebag once upon a time, but you stopped sleeping with Lance sisters (thank God), fell in love with sunshine, and embraced monogamy & commitment like the squishy teddy bear with abs we always knew you were. You also fight for the city, save lives, and cook your pregnant wife yummy veggies to munch on. You’re evolved dude. Cut yourself a break. And Thea isn’t exactly the Mistress of Satan. She’s off saving the world too. Two out of three ain’t bad.

This whole “Right my wrongs” needs clarification. First it was the list, but it morphed into saving the Glades. Then Tommy died and things kind of snowballed. So, how many wrongs are we talking Bobby? Let’s get specific. We’ve only got 15 episodes left. Did you sell Iran nuclear weapons? Use Moira’s toothbrush and not tell her? Steal candy from babies? Are there a dozen more Robert Queen kiddos intent on world destruction?

Time is a wasting. I have a spin off coming and it needs to not be about your bullshit man.

Team Arrow ultimately foils Emiko’s plan. Well… kind of. They miss one drone, but no worries! It was just a demonstration. They’re worried about the next time, when it’s not a demonstration, but I was more focused on the few extra tidbits delivered in the final moments of the episode

Not only does Emiko choose the Ninth Circle, she is their leader.

She is also targeting the Archer program, which means nothing good for Oliver, Felicity and their children. Despite, my frustrations with Emiko’s character I am glad they are tying this all back to Robert and the Queens. Family is where this story began and it’s where it should end.

Dante gave Emiko a gift when she was struggling between being a Queen or joining the Ninth Circle. It was the most hilariously unrealistic looking invoice from Merlyn Global, but it showed the location of the bombs on the Queen’s Gambit. Emiko knew about Merlyn’s plan and she could have saved her father’s life if she simply passed on the information at their meeting. But he rejected her once more, so Emiko sent Robert to his death and unknowingly condemned her brother to five years of hell. Damn.

What Emiko doesn’t realize is that by keeping quiet about the bombs on the Queen’s Gambit she helped set her brother on a path to become someone who can stop her. In the immortal words of Leo McGarry, “ "It ain't nothing but a family thing.”

Felicity Smoak

Source: felicitysmoakgifs

Felicity wins Walter White.

This is something many fans have been saying for years, including yours truly, so I am quite happy the writers agree.

Felicity continues to slay at all three, but a key part to “having it all” is knowing when you need help. Felicity asks her friend Alena to join the company as CTO. Look how excited this human rainbow is. She melts my heart.

Source: felicittysqueen

Unfortunately, I don’t really trust Alena. Yes, I know she’s helped Felicity in the past, but I still feel uneasy about her. Perhaps that distrust is unnecessary and her interactions with Felicity will continue to be adorable and on the up and up. But Archer is corrupted somehow in the future and I’m keeping an eye on Alena in present day.

Concerns aside, I did have myself a petty little cackle. Technically speaking, Felicity had a built in CTO for Smoak Tech on Team Arrow – Curtis Holt. Instead, the writers ship him off to D.C. and bring in Alena who, shady or not, is far preferable to Curtis. I just didn’t think Beth would agree with me. She’s like friggin Santa Claus.

The biggest issue I had with the spinal technology was it didn’t really connect to the Team Arrow storyline. A character feels isolated on their own show whenever that happens. My concern was Felicity’s great individual storyline was going to cut her off from the action.

The genius of this season, and the retooling of Felicity’s company, is the writers have found a way to weave it in with the vigilante storyline. Smoak Tech no longer feels like an island they are placing Felicity on, but rather it permeates almost every facet of the show – both past and present. This means Felicity permeates every facet of the show.

Last, but certainly not least, Felicity continues to be a bad ass wife as she manages more Queen family drama. The man is an Adonis who cooks, but oy does he come with family baggage. At least, Oliver’s reaction to this type of drama is predictable and Felicity doesn’t miss a beat.

When he comes back from the field empty handed Felicity knows immediately how to make him smile.

Source: olicitygifs

She tells Oliver he’s hot. That’s it. That’s how Felicity cheers him up.

He compartmentalizes and hyper focuses on stopping Emiko, but Felicity tells Oliver to take a beat and process.

Source: olicitygifs

Of course, Oliver ignores her and becomes frustrated with the team when they aren’t moving fast enough. So, Felicity tells him to cool it.

He ignores her AGAIN, but at least we are blessed with this glorious response.

Source: oliverxfelicity

Where has this gif been for the last seven years? If Oliver is going to be a stubborn ass then at the very least his wife is going to drag him for it with some patented Felicity Smoak snark.

I think Felicity and Diggle have a system for deciding who talks to Oliver. Maybe it depends on circumstance. Diggle seems like the obvious choice because he had an evil sibling too. Maybe they rock paper scissors. Whatever the system, it was Diggle talking down their boy this week.

We did, however, get some quality husband and wife crime fighting team work. YOUR OTP WOULD NEVER.

Source: olivergifs

After a long day of supporting her husband, incubating their child and stopping criminals, Felicity returns to the loft to work on Archer with Alena. And this was a light Felicity Smoak episode. Damn. Queen of DCTV is right.

Sweet holy Moses, how are we going to do ten episodes without her?

I love Oliver Queen. He is my favorite character, but I think we can all agree Felicity Smoak makes him infinitely more tolerable. Oliver can be stubborn, grumpy pine tree left to his own devices. Hopefully, he’s evolved enough that all of Felicity’s hard work doesn’t go down the tubes the moment they are separated. He is supposed to be Jesus now. I think Slabside is evidence it won’t, but ten episodes without Felicity Smoak feels like a daunting task. It feels like climbing a mountain...

only to get stabbed in the chest and chucked off the edge once we reach the top.

Bl*ck S*ren

BS decides to follow Emiko and gets spliced with an arrow because she sucks at covert ops.

Source: nyssaalghl

She goes to Olicity’s apartment to speak to Felicity about her Emiko suspicions, but unfortunately the wifey isn’t home. Bl*ck S*ren turns to leave when she realizes the only person available to discuss her suspicions with is Oliver. I believe there's 0% chance of L*urel falling in love with Oliver and 99.99% chance she's already in love with Felicity.

Not to be outdone, Oliver offers to bandage up her bleeding wound. He takes out antibiotic and gauze and SETS. IT. ON. THE. KITCHEN. COUNTER.

It’s a very large kitchen counter too, so it creates the wide berth these two require to stand being in a room together.

Source: nyssaalghl

We’ve gone from main love interest to stay on your side of the room. I died.

I don’t know how we got here family, but we’re here and it’s fabulous.

The writers are more anti L*uriver than I am, which is an impressive level of hate - if I’m being honest.

I need to put on a sweater whenever Stephen and KC film a scene because brr it’s cold!

The L*uriver fans expecting sexy bandage time must have been deeply disappointed. Or at least the two fans left were deeply disappointed.

Of course, Oliver doesn’t believe BS because duh. My dog could’ve called that one. He tells her to mind her own business and pretty much kicks her out the apartment. Obviously, L*urel is right about Emiko, but Oliver telling her to shove it never gets old under any circumstances.

Then Dinah accuses her of murdering a witness

Source: nyssaalghl

and L&urel is righteously indignant.

Of course, L*urel is right. It’s not like she has ever murdered before. Why on earth would anyone ever think that?

Dinah even has the nerve to bring up her dead boyfriend again. She really needs to let this Vince thing go because L*urel played lawyer for the last seven months and helped get Oliver out of a jail. See? All better.

BS is redeemed now, so Dinah really needs to stop bitching. Arrow is my life tutor, so following that same logic I’m going to murder a baby and then buy a puppy because it will even the cosmic balance.

The best moment is when Emiko releases images of Savior of the World L*urel L*nce meeting with Ricardo Diaz.

Source: nyssaalghl

It’s going to be pretty tough for BS to keep up the pretense she is law abiding, justice yielding District Attorney L&urel L*nce when she’s hanging out with one of Star City’s most notorious criminals. I take it back. Emiko is awesome.

Of course, I’m not delusional enough to believe Arrow is going to give BS an arc that actually qualifies as redemptive. Helping Felicity was a good start, but it doesn’t wipe the slate clean for me. Not by a long shot. Neither does being a fake lawyer. I would like to see L*urel pay for her crimes the same way Oliver paid for his by going to PRISON, but I doubt the writers will give me that much Christmas. I am very curious to see how “Lost Canary” shakes out. That said, I have very little doubt BS will betray her one true love.

Stray Thoughts

“Which doesn’t mean she’s bad.” I told you Olicity wouldn’t care Emiko killed Diaz. They brought the marshmallows to his bonfire party.

“On your own.” Stephen read that line super diva and it cracked me up.

“Being a father is more than just blood.” I hate to agree with a villain but damn he’s right.

Every time Felicity touches her stomach I happy clap. Source: olicitygifs

L*urel’s shoulder pads have to be stopped. Just say no wardrobe department.

Forcing me to go without this adorableness for an additional ten episodes is not oka. I’ll go through Felicity Smoak withdrawal which is hazardous. Source: ebett

Does Emiko visiting her father’s grave make a damn bit of sense now that we know she played a role in his death? Nope. Didn’t think so.

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me. 7x17 gifs credited.

If you’d like to support the blog, please buy me a cup of tea!

#arrow #arrow 7x17 #arrow spoilers #arrow review #anti emiko queen #oliver queen #felicity smoak #olicity #arrow reviews #anti laurel lance #anti katie cassidy #anti lauriver #anti black siren #arrow season 7 #arrow season 7 reviews #arrow season 7 review #season 7 episode review #season 7 episode reviews

76 notes · View notes

incorrectly-quoted-queers · 4 years

Text

Drunk Punch Love: INTERMISSION ARCHANGEL

Pairing: FemShep and Garrus Vakarian (Shakarian)

Rating: PG-13 (with some tossed F-bombs)

Summary: Their awkward, badass journey through saving the galaxy and accidentally falling in love

INTERMISSION ARCHANGEL: 143 Days

Garrus enjoyed the setup for jobs, and boy did he love the payoff, but there was one part that could really grind his plates.

The waiting.

To keep the crew safe and take the mercs off guard, they always got the right intel to set the gangs up. They'd make a killbox, lure them in, and use everything in their arsenal to knock 'em out before they even knew what was happening.

This hit, they were freeing an Asari captive from Eclipse. Well, she used to be one of them. But when Alla wanted out, Eclipse made it... difficult for her. The mercs were taking her out to this dock to be spaced, and Garrus and the team were waiting to stop that.

With them was Alla's half-brother, Oliver. His human mother had an affair with Alla's Eclipse mother when Ollie was a few years old. He didn't know about her until his mom was on her deathbed. Inconvenient timing, since just about the same time Eclipse almost got Alla killed, prioritizing a cash drop over her safety.

The night she was packing was the night Ollie called her on the extranet, and during their call Eclipse took her. Within the hour, Ollie quit his military post in the Alliance, because he'd be damned if he let his baby sister die.

So there they were, waiting, hiding in the overhang of the space dock and a few other key vantage points.

As far as their intel went, there was supposed to be a whole squad overseeing her execution, to make sure things went right. Apparently Alla knew too much for it to be any other way.

But once Eclipse got there, Garrus and co. would make sure to change that plan.

For now, they just twiddled their goddamn thumbs. Butler, his cover fire next to him, went real twitchy when he got bored.

Over the comms, though, he could tell a few others were getting antsy, too. Ollie most of all. "Christ, what if they bring her in her gear and there's other Asari? We can't shoot the wrong one."

Garrus tried to bring some levity. "Via, we just won't shoot the one who doesn't have a gun and isn't shooting at us. It'll be okay."

Butler added, "Anyway, Eclipse wouldn't have kept her in their gear. Trust me. I know." The scowl that Butler got made Garrus curious, but it probably wasn't the best time to ask. Anyway, it was easy to guess that this wasn't Nikolai's first Eclipse execution.

Much better at trying to keep spirits up, Sidonis piped in. "Hey, we got this, Via. We set up traps, hacked the doors, have some flash bangs and anti-biotic ammo. This is going to be a clean rescue. You'll get to meet your sister."

Ryel chuckled on the other end. "Hope you like her. If you didn't that'd be awkward." Garrus almost growled. Ryel could be a little shit sometimes.

"When we talked, she was ready to try to be a family. I don't give a shit if it was just because she wanted asylum. That's enough." Via sighed and added, "Anyway, I could see elcor theatre posters in her room. My mom loved them, too."

"Who would pay to see an elcor act?" Danit didn't seem as moved or amused as everyone else.

Gibbon cut in. "It's a matter of sentimentality for Oliver. When one misses a person, they attach to familiar memories. Though elcor acting is banal, his mother and Alla share the interest and therefore ties his sentimentality to both women."

"I think he was asking about the elcor part, not what it meant." Butler chuckled next to him. "But people like weird shit. My Nalah likes-"

"Hanar music, we know." Jawth was grumbling, but his voice got quieter as he added, "My brother used to have a pet Varren. Makes me bitter sometimes to shoot 'em."

"And Sidonis has all those old comic books. And Danit has his puzzlebox from his father. And Gibbon has his old STG tags, but just because he got to burn them. We all have our sentimental bullshit. Now stop crying or you idiots will set off my traps." Ro wasn't exactly one for these conversations, and Garrus wasn't surprised by his outburst.

But luckily, no one gave a shit about his crankiness. Ryel instead just continued talking. "I used to have a friend when I was a kid, an army brat. When my family was helping the Alliance, she didn't treat me like an alien freak. I still have the bracelet she gave me when I left. She called it Kolodochka, whatever the hell that means."

Garrus was getting flashbacks to all of Shepard's random dialect inserts. "Wait, isn't that Russian?"

"No clue." Looking at Butler, the man also shrugged. Great, so now he had a weird part of his brain collecting and flipping through Shepard memories, and no one had any answers for him. He could feel the back of his neck heating up, wondering if she had ties to Ryel. Didn't she tell him, on Noveria, that she kissed a Drell in a closet or something? Ryel interrupted his thoughts, though. "Why do you ask?"

Caught way off guard at this point, words just starting spilling out of his mouth. "I don't know a lot about human culture, but I had a... friend whose mother was from Russia. It came up a lot. She even danced ballet to classic Russian music when she was stressed- wait, Spirits, she wouldn't want me talking about that."

Across the line, Ro snorted. "Sounds like Garrus had a Russian girlfriend. That's a surprise."

Okay, he was officially over all this conversation. "Don't have a thing for humans, Ro. Now get it together before you pop the suit laughing and ruin your own traps." Everyone was quickly distracted by his joke, and started talking low about their strategies and who made what better thing.

But next to him, Butler cut his comms and asked, "But you did like her, didn't you?"

Garrus was not about to deal with this shit again. "No. Now focus on the mission."

"C'mon, I'm the married one. If anyone gets it, I do. What was her name?"

Throughout his skull, Shepard's name started beating like an unstoppable drum. And he didn't need that right now, not when he was moving forward with his life. He was supposed to be moving forward. That's what you did when you lost people, and he couldn't keep falling into traps and looking back.

He couldn't keep looking back for her. She wasn't coming back.

"Butler, I'm not asking you again."

"Garrus, you don't-"

Before he could say another word, there was a crash down below. Over comms, Danit's monotone voice was a pitch or two higher. "Where the hell did they come from? The door wasn't triggered."

Using the sights on his sniper, Garrus pin-pointed an equally shocked looking woman. She was steadying herself, tan skin sweaty, a smirk on her lips despite the clear tension in her muscles. In her hand was a detonator. Shit.

Standing up, he had to act fast. Yelling down from his vantage point he said, "I don't know how the hell you got in here, but you're surrounded. Put the detonator down and nobody has to get hurt."

"Without this detonator, you're going to get hurt." He thought his spot was well hidden, but she tossed it up his way. It sailed with a lot more force than he thought a human arm was capable of. "You brought the wrong one."

Garrus grabbed the one she gave him and sent Gibbon a concerned look. After a quick look in his pack, Gibbon looked more alarmed than he did. "Shit. She's right."

"We can talk about you forgetting our detonator later." Looking down at the strange woman on the space dock floor, he asked, "Thanks? But how'd you know-"

"It's better you don't ask questions. Especially since your target will be here any second now. Just stay alive, Mr. Vakarian." She started to run towards the exit, but then added, "If you ever run into me again, name's Sam." And then before she hit the door, she disappeared completely.

Jawth was the first to say, "Why the hell don't we have that tech?"

They started to bicker about it, whether it be about the science behind it or the fact she didn't trigger a single trap. But Garrus was more concerned about the fact she found them and that there was a chance they could run into her again.

If they didn't have the right detonator, in theory the job would've still worked. In theory, she didn't need to come, whatever she was. But maybe she knew something they didn't.

Before he could even get a word in, join in on the confusion or hype, the doors started to open across the space dock. He shoved Butler's head back down and got behind cover. "Get down and shut up, we're about to have company."

And what company it was.

It was more than their contact told them; three squadrons and even a mech, loaned from the Blue Suns. Without Gibbon's explosives, they might've lost some people trying to fight it out. Whoever the mysterious "Sam" was, she helped save their asses.

But chatter about the disappearing woman was overruled by getting the dangerously weak Alla back to base and realizing they were making bigger splashes than ever before.

In some ways, it was thrilling, knowing they were getting this far underneath the mercs' skin. Others? They had some powerful targets on their backs. While he felt a little cynical and sour about the situation, Sidonis was much more positive. While they watched Butler's doctor wife patch Ollie's sister up, he said, "They've started noticing us, Garrus."

"I'm pretty sure they always noticed us."

"No, you don't get it. They expect shit to go haywire sometimes, or that a rando might play hero. But we're doing more than that now." Sidonis shook his head, looking at the people around the room, like he was in awe. "They hear us now and they're scared. Scared enough to bring 3 squadrons to an execution they heard we might raid."

Sidonis patted his back and walked out of the room. No matter how grumpy he wanted to be, Garrus had to admit Sidonis was right. This meant they were changing things.

But that didn't mean he had to feel secure about it quite yet. What he needed to do was prepare for the pushback. Sidonis could be their silver lining guy; Garrus was there to keep them alive.

And dammit, he was not about to lose anyone just because they wanted to save lives and some asshole decided to snuff them out. Not again.

It was time for some upgrades.

///

Now, this is going to be weird for me so bear with me. Time to hype up the patron aspect of this all. Patronage helps me spend more time on my writing and interactions with you guys, as well as get closer to my goal of making a super creative Twitch channel (gaming, write with me, fun readings). For the lowest tier ($1), you guys get access to my T-Day Blogs talking about my stories and ideas and future plans, access to a fandom-friendly discord, and vote on the monthly "beach episode" for Drunk Punch Love.

Other tiers include early chapter access, OC cameos, favorite mission inclusion, thank you shout outs, and even one shots of your choosing. If you have some coin to spare, I'll be forever appreciative. If not, don't worry about it, the story will continue because I love it just as much as you guys.

If you want to check out said patron options, please check out my bio or the accounts below:

Patreon: patreon.com/gracejordan

Twitter: (at)Steph_Marceau

Wattpad: user/GraceJordan13

As always, thank you so much to my patrons:

Danyell Jones

Amy Connolly

#Drunk Punch Love #Shakarian #femshep x garrus #Garrus Vakarian #Anya Shepard #Intermission: Archangel #Lantar Sidonis #mass effect fanfiction #Mass effect 2 #bioware romances

1 note · View note

mycngs-blog · 5 years

Text

it’s ya girl 𝒅𝒓𝒊 (nineteen — twenty next week !, she/her, pst), a soft edgy born with a name that means "dark one of the lord" on friday the 13th ! some fun facts are that i have the incredibly dangerous combo of high ambition and poor time management and i’d Risk It All for a.c.e, ateez, and loona ! so, anyway, here’s my girl olivia ! if you’re interested in plotting connections, feel free to im me or ask for my discord (where i would be Way easier to reach) !

𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐍. 𝐒𝐇𝐄/𝐇𝐄𝐑. 𝐂𝐈𝐒𝐅𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐄. ╱ was that 𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐀 𝐌𝐘𝐔𝐍𝐆 i just saw in the hideaway lobby ? i hear the 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘-𝐓𝐖𝐎 year old spends most of their time 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐔𝐓𝐎𝐑, but i’ve always just seen them 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐑𝐇𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐌 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒. they live in 𝐀𝐏𝐓 𝟓𝐂 and i often see them in the halls. they always give me a vibe of 𝐃𝐎𝐆-𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐒, 𝐂𝐔𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐃 𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐒, and 𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐓.

* ╱ 𝒒 𝒖 𝒊 𝒄 𝒌 𝒔 𝒕 𝒂 𝒕 𝒔

𝗕𝗜𝗥𝗧𝗛 𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘: olivia clarisse myung

𝗡𝗜𝗖𝗞𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘𝗦: vi, oli, no one calls her liv tho

𝗔𝗚𝗘: twenty-two

𝗗𝗢𝗕: january 12, 1997

𝗛𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗧𝗢𝗪𝗡: santa clara, california

𝗭𝗢𝗗𝗜𝗔𝗖: capricorn sun, pisces moon

𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡: bisexual

𝗢𝗖𝗖𝗨𝗣𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡: tutor

* ╱ 𝒃 𝒂 𝒄 𝒌 𝒈 𝒓 𝒐 𝒖 𝒏 𝒅

originally hailing from santa clara, california, the myung family was nothing short of a series of tech success stories. her father a machine learning engineer and her mother a user experience architect, it was to no surprise when olivia's older siblings (a sister 6 years older and a brother 4 years older) followed suit and found themselves pursuing similar careers. they were coded to be a stereotypical silicon valley family, so growing up, expectations were high for olivia, the last of the bunch.

olivia was that girl in school who knew she was smart and made sure everyone around her knew it as well. in high school, a lot of people didn’t really like her because they perceived her as a show-off, which she totally was, but she’s aight once you get past her insecurity-generated superiority complex. her parents were overprotective and pressured her to do better than her classmates, so she just grew up conditioned to be super competitive because she was kind of scared of her parents and therefore scared of failing them.

she majored in statistics at uc berkeley and ended up finishing in three years with plans to go into data analysis (she’s really good with numbers and doesn’t quite understand how people have trouble with math… Nerd).

a few months out of college she got offered a position with a startup company in seattle that she had interned for remotely in the past, so she made the trip to washington!

however, the company later began to experience major losses and had to let go of employees, which unfortunately included cleo, before dissolving completely. she had only been working there for about half a year.

olivia wasn’t ready to return home, wasn’t ready to break the news to her parents that she — in her mind — had failed, so she remained in seattle and kept up this lie of being a successful data analyst for a rising company, when in reality, she put all of her marbles in the wrong bag. she didn’t want to be the one to fail when everyone else in her family was succeeding, she didn’t want to be the disappointment, so she lied. she wasn’t that close with her family, so the vague information that their daughter was making Big Moves would suffice for them to sprinkle into conversations with their colleagues.

currently, she’s trying to get back on her feet and secure a stable position of a similar caliber, but in the meantime, she’s been back and forth between different jobs and also getting paid to tutor people (mostly over skype, sometimes irl). not being certain of what she’s doing terrifies her and Sucks because she’s not used to the feeling of not being good enough.

* ╱ 𝒑 𝒆 𝒓 𝒔 𝒐 𝒏 𝒂 𝒍 𝒊 𝒕 𝒚

olivia is like... accidentally blunt a lot ?? not even gonna lie, she really does not think before she speaks sometimes (book smart but not street smart Big Time)

i don't think she ever really had a Solid friend group growing up; she was the type to be on the border and never really belong to any specific set of people

she has, like, Zero patience and a low tolerance for stupidity, so how she manages to tutor people is something many people cannot comprehend

olivia's like the gordon ramsay of academia: rude if u act like u know everything, kinder and understanding if u genuinely want to learn something or get better

her demeanor is so deceiving i would say ?? she's the opposite of someone who looks intimidating but is actually really sweet — she's like a siren or some shit, seemingly approachable but once u do approach, u regret

despite the fact that she's quite cold 90% of first encounters, over time, she does warm up to people, which bring the coldness probability to about a 50% depending on how she feels about u

she’s not heartless i promise !! it’s mostly a front bc she was Played a lot growing up and has some trust issues :// when ur smart n want friends sometimes it’s ok to be used right ?? haha ?? :(( ??

her way of caring for people is .. tbh .. kinda awkward ?? she has compassion but she doesn’t really know how to express it without feeling kinda weird about it KSDLHDS she’s the type that wouldn’t be comforting emotionally but she tries .. her Best in her own way

did i say rly guarded ?? superiority complex turned impostor syndrome ?? someone PLEASE validate this girl , living in her siblings’ shadows did Not do her well

secretly a romantic but she thinks love is a privilege she hasn’t quite earned yet

in short, i’d say she could be classified as a Classic Tsundere

i feel like i didn't list that many redeeming traits DSGJSDG but she's got some !! she's dependable and a hard worker !! if ur close to her it's ride or die !!

* ╱ 𝒇 𝒖 𝒏 𝒇 𝒂 𝒄 𝒕 𝒔

can speak english, korean, french, spanish, and knows asl

owns a large collection of books; really into personal essays

has never been in a serious relationship; claims she’s too busy but really just lacks the ability to be vulnerable so she prefers things to be non-committal

when she was 14 she had a crush on this guy but then people found out and it eventually reached him ;/ he asked her out after school with some people around ;/ she accepted ;/ turned out he was joking ;/

can play the viola, clarinet, and piano

really really really good at rhythm games, especially osu !! played local tournaments before but when her parents found out she was investing a fat chunk of time into the activity, they had her stop ;/ now that she doesn’t live with them anymore, she’s taken it up again

surprisingly holds her alcohol well and is an affectionate drunk; perhaps if u met olivia when she's drunk she wouldn't be as intimidating

incredibly bad at responding to text messages !! it's like a roulette, she either replies within seconds or the text is lost forever and suddenly it's been months

#hide.intro #me . unoriginal . recycling my self intro but yk it rly b like tht sometimes #ya girl seein monsta x today so she'll be on and off depending !

12 notes · View notes

silyabeeodess · 5 years

Photo

Even after making these guys, I still can hardly fathom how much I actually like this show now…

Here’s a character line-up for the six IZ ocs I mentioned in my earlier post. I’ll list some info on each of them in the cut below, but here’s some general info for the whole group: These guys all knew each other since they were smeets. At the time, Irkens were going through one of many phases to genetically engineer better, stronger, taller versions of their species. At this point, the experiments were winding down and each phase pushed for only mild or subtle changes in order to limit any extreme consequences. Most of their batch ended up slightly taller than average and tested better overall during their training. They were all also very loyal Irkens! The problem was… a lot of them proved to be more loyal to each other than to their actual leaders. This actually led to about a 2 minute “uprising” in their youth where a few of them got themselves just about vaporized. Some other smeets from their batch would later meet similar fates or get their little, green butts handed to them down the line whenever any of them stepped so much as a foot out of line. …Woohoo! :) So, the ones that survived basically either never really had a loyalty issue or learned pretty fast to keep their mouths shut. In the case of these six, it was the latter. Rather than favor height, they value competence. That doesn’t mean that they won’t follow orders, but whoever leads them better do so well. This leaves them to often have shaky opinions of their fellow Irkens and higher-ups, and the group will often debate (in secret) over which traits are the most valuable for the empire’s goals of conquest. They’re also pretty ambitious, and divided themselves in a way to both jointly live…somewhat, comfortably and rise through the empire’s ranks.

LARG:

Larg is the tallest of the group, and because of this the others will sometimes treat him as an outsider. In public, they give him the respect other Irkens would show him because of his height and position. In private, he has to prove himself to them more than the rest of them have to with each other to show that he isn’t taken in by his own status and that he won’t end up stabbing them in the back at some point. In reality, the fear is pretty baseless as he’s actually the most lenient and easygoing of the bunch.

Once he became a navigator on the Massive, he was able to solidify his place in the group a lot more. They valued his placement and what it meant for them overall, with him doing the others favors or giving them subtle recommendations when possible. It also gave him the chance to keep an eye on the Tallest.

Out of the six, he questions authority the least. He gets along well with his fellow navigators too.

SLEEVEEN:

Sleeveen is the next tallest of the six and became a scientist. It’s not so much that she devoted herself to science because that’s her strong suit, but rather that “someone needed to fill that slot” and the role fit her personality best. Sleeveen’s the sort to play mind-games rather than draw a weapon. She’ll put on a show to convince you that your family’s dead just to see how you react and test how far she can push you over the edge. Therefore, it could easily be said that she favors/specializes in psychological weaponry and related tech.

She likes talking and bragging about her work, so she’ll show it off any chance she gets. In turn, she’ll take it as a personal offense if you don’t give her some attention. Just letting her talk and nodding along on occasion is typically all it really takes to satisfy her though.

The group views her as the least rational, due to her being pretty petty and desire for revenge if she feels slighted–which the others mostly view as a pointless waste of time. Still, she doesn’t let her feelings get in the way of her work or their safety, so they’ll usually let her have her way or even play along.

FIZ:

Fiz probably would’ve been fine anywhere in the military, but the others pushed her to be an invader due to her self-discipline and well-rounded abilities. And it was good advice: She does a pretty good job. Her main issue is that her usual “angry” expression sometimes gets her into a bit of trouble, as most people can’t read her and don’t know if she’s giving them sass or not. She often gets sent to planets with darker atmospheres or that are tidal locked, so she wears a much darker uniform than normal to help her blend in a bit better to those types of surroundings.

Even when she first hatched, Fiz had a pretty angry expression. She’s not a negative person though: It’s just her face. She can be a hard-case with a razor focus to her work and a stern desire for control of both herself and her environment; however, she will emote more at times of extreme emotion, such as surprise, and doesn’t mind relaxing a bit–especially with the others–if she is offered the chance. Just don't expect her to spill her innermost secrets…

Fiz has a major caffeine addiction. She once had to go several weeks without caffeine on an assignment on a dwarf planet and it frustrated her so much that she dumped a ton of chemicals into its entire water supply to turn it into soda. Even though she went a little out of line, the Tallest were actually happy with the result and pumped the planet dry before conquering it completely.

CESTUS:

Cestus is the group’s second invader; however, he stayed an Irken elite for a much longer period than Tiz from a lack of trying. He shows a general apathy for most things, and as a result nothing really moves, disappoints, or impresses him easily. The most anyone can normally get out of him is a resounding “meh.” Out of the six, he’s the most likely to be a follower, as he doesn’t give much input on things and has a habit of staying silent. Despite this, the others know that he’d come through for them in the end.

The one thing Cestus really does care deeply about are the others in the group, even if he doesn’t show it. If something happened to them, he’d fight tooth and nail to save them–even shirking off his obedient façade if it came to it, so long as he knew it wouldn’t do more harm than good. He actually has a soft spot for smeets too, and would’ve wanted to teach if he was able. Not without attempting to slip their batch’s ideology onto future generations despite their PAKs’ programming, but he would’ve enjoyed it.

No one will say it to his face, but some Irkens talk about Cestus’ head. He doesn’t know it, but a lot of them think he got hit with something that caused a permanent indentation in the back of it. It’s one rumor that somehow no one in the group has picked up on, or if they have they just don’t care enough about it to bring it up.

MOOB:

Moob is about average in height for an Irken, as well as average overall in most fields. Because of this, he became a standard soldier. He specializes in demolitions for his unit, which is the main area where he shows incredible skill. He’s very passionate about his explosives. Some might even say dangerously so. Give him any opportunity to blow something up and there’s a chance that the armada will see fireworks from halfway across the galaxy. If it weren’t for the others reminding him to keep himself in-check, he’d probably get himself into a ton of trouble.

He’s got a very “silent, but deadly” personality, not really saying much to other people outside of the group, but breaking into a loud, scary fit of laughter when it’s time to do his job. Effective as he is, most people don’t like teaming up with him on assignments.

He’s blown himself up and his PAK has had to revive him multiple times. It’s a miracle he still has all of his limbs.

CALU:

Unlike the others, Calu didn’t get very far in his training. Although just a little shorter than the average Irken, he was one of the shortest in the batch. That, combined with his slight chubbiness and lack of noteworthy abilities led to him getting stationed as a janitor on the Massive. His placement was intentional, with Larg pulling some strings so he could watch him and so that Calu could check out other parts of the ship. No one makes his job easy though–and it’s already not, because sometimes he’ll get sent on jobs cleaning up areas like that trash compactor in “Star Wars”–so he does what he can to keep attention away from him.

Calu is actually very intelligent, but hides it since his low status actually works well for them all in the end. Since most Irkens view him in a poor light, if they notice him at all, they don’t really bother hiding anything in front of him. So he gets to listen on plenty of good information or dirty secrets. While he might get in trouble for spilling them himself, it doesn’t stop him from telling the others in the group. That sort of know-how comes in handy, especially if any of them ever want to one-up a fellow Irken.

Due to the abuse he does face, the others will treat him almost like a little brother despite them all being the same age. They’ll tease him a bit too, but only in good fun. And if anyone else messes with him, they better hope they don’t “accidentally” slip through an open air lock. They help him bear what he goes through, like secretly giving him a small earpiece to hide under his goggles in case he wants to listen to music.

Additional Info:

The group tries to meet up on occasion and hate being separated. Still, it’s next to impossible for all six of them to be in one place at the same time. Larg and Calu see each other the most often, with Fiz and Cestus seeing the others the least due to falling out of contact for long periods while on assignments.

Fiz and Cestus have the most in common. Not counting their antenna, they’re both the same height; they’re both invaders; and they were both pushed to be invaders by the group for their skills, demeanors, and, according to their smeet days, ”because they look so intense.”

Sleeveen and Fiz act a lot like bickering sisters, throwing insults at each other and talking over the other’s head, “borrowing” each other’s things, and so forth. Really though, that’s just their typical way of dealing with each other and they’re pretty close.

Sleeveen sometimes uses Moob as a test subject when he’s off-duty, since he can take a lot of damage. In return, she sometimes lets him mess around with experimental equipment–if always when she can observe.

All of them are pretty comfortable and open around each other except for Larg, who tries to connect with them the most. He’s closest to Calu, who in turn doesn’t mind being brutally honest with him in private.

They’re technically defective, but it’s not actually their PAKs that causes it: It’s the chemicals in their bodies transmitting signals differently to their brains. The PAKs would’ve been fine strapped onto another Irken. Should their PAKs be attached to another Irken now ,however, their memories and ideology would imprint on future generations. Their current defective state could be “corrected”, but it would have to be done through severe torture.

9 notes · View notes

imagitory · 5 years

Text

So I saw Endgame! [spoilers]

To save your feed from nasty spoilers, here's a cut!

Overall, this movie was half-epic awesome and half...well, not.

The Good!

+As always, it was so great to see all of our favorite Avengers interacting and working together, especially at the end. Nebula and Tony playing games in space -- Natasha's friendships with Steve and Clint -- Scott fawning over Steve -- Tony and Steve teaming up to get the tesseract and more of Hank Pym's formula -- Nebula connecting with her past self and Gamora -- PETER REUNUTING WITH HIS PAPA TONY -- these characters and their bonds are what make all of these movies. There are a few I feel that got a bit overlooked, but to be fair, there are so, so many that it's not hard to see why not all of them could be in the spotlight.

+All of the action was well-choreographed and executed. It never felt one-note and it never dragged, at least for me.

+STEVE USING MJOLNIR, HELLZ YES. I cheered like an idiot when that happened.

+Even though I saw it coming, Tony's sacrifice was still well-written and not only fit his character but also the story. RDJ couldn't have asked for a better exit from the Marvel film franchise.

+Scott's reappearance after five years was great too! His reunion with Cassie got me kind of emotional -- such a proud daddy!

+As much as I do have problems with Steve's ending (which I'll come back to), I liked that it saluted the Falcon taking over the mantle of Captain America as he does in the comics.

+That whole bit with all of the ladies charging in after Captain Marvel -- total girl power, man!

+Tony and his daughter Morgan's interactions made me laugh -- who knew Tony could be such a good daddy? I always support good daddies. (And "I love you 3000"? My heart.)

+Thanos accessing Nebula's memories and thoughts because the technology in both her past and future selves are on the same network was actually kind of clever, and I loved how Gamora decided to fight with future!Nebula for the hope that they could really be sisters like she claims.

+All of the comments about Steve's ass made me laugh so hard. Looks like it's canon now, guys: Tony has given Steve's ass and what flatters it notable attention.

+Hey, Carol. Nice haircut. ❤️

The Not-So-Good...

+I must admit, half the reason I dreaded seeing this movie as well as Infinity War was that I knew that any deaths in Infinity War would inevitably be completely undone in Endgame, effectively canceling out any fatal stakes you could assign to the Cinematic Universe. It's something I hate about Marvel and DC comics, that in their long history, there are so many ways to bring characters back from the dead that you either don't believe they're actually dead or are left wondering why they're still dead. At least in Harry Potter, Harry surviving the Killing Curse (both times) was a fluke -- something that only came about by extreme chance that most people wouldn't have, something that could only have happened to Harry. That makes it so we still feel something when people die, and therefore care about what's going to happen. But yeah, sure enough, all the deaths in Infinity War basically get undone, thanks to some time travel and magic stones. It unfortunately almost had to be like this, if this story was going to be told, but that doesn't change the fact that I don't like that aspect of the story. This invalidation of stakes wouldn't hurt as much if this was the last film Marvel ever made, but really, with how much money Marvel could make with the remaining cast of characters, I sort of doubt that.

+The filmmakers try to give some logical explanation to the time travel thing, but in the end, thanks to Steve's decision (which I'll get into), it's kind of thrown into question again. The idea was that they wouldn't be able to change the future by going back in time...and yet I can't see Steve not trying to do anything to hinder Bucky's suffering in the past, if he was back there. Yes, maybe it wouldn't change future!Bucky, but it would still be his best friend. And Steve's return to civilian life in the past would surely influence some things, wouldn't it? Wouldn't him living a life back then involve him getting a job, earning accolades for his past service, making friends, having children...anything? The alternate universe scenario proposed by the Ancient One would inevitably have to happen if Steve stayed behind, which was the whole reason he supposedly went back to put the stones where they were in the first place!!

+Okay, and now finally what I've been leading up to...Steve. As appropriate as Tony's ending was, Steve's was just as inappropriate in my mind. Steve not only had gotten over Peggy in previous films, where he got to speak with her as an old woman and make peace with the life they never got to have, but Steve was actively moving on. He had been dating Sharon Carter. He had developed close friendships with the other Avengers. He had an entire scene where he preached to others the value of dealing with grief productively and growing despite it...only to run back to the past as soon as he got the chance? And this isn't even touching how terrible of a friend this makes Steve, leaving Bucky behind and not even bothering to talk to him about what he was doing. Steve barely even spoke to Bucky in this movie: even after Bucky came back from the dead, Steve never had a proper reaction. They never fought side by side, exchanged affectionate one-liners, hugged, nothing. And this is Bucky we're talking about, the guy who Steve let beat him within an inch of his life -- who Steve protected from Tony -- who Steve openly and painfully grieved during Infinity War. And Bucky not only is left out in the cold by Steve, but Bucky thinks the Falcon should be the sole person to talk to him after his decision becomes clear. Bucky should have confronted Steve. He should have been angry. He should've asked why Steve didn't ask him to come too, didn't ask if he wanted to. Bucky deserved a happy life just as much as Steve did, after all the horrible things they went through. Why did Steve deserve to go back in time and live happily, and not Bucky? Why was Steve okay with the fact that he wouldn't see his best friend for decades? Why was Steve comfortable with the thought that Bucky would have to watch his best friend die of old age not long after just fighting side by side with him? Not only does this ending break Steve's character, but it doesn't match his arc at all. He was adapting well to the present -- he was growing, he was evolving. And yet his ending ended up being running back to when things were simpler, running back to the past like a coward instead of embracing the future. FUCK. THAT.

+I really didn't care for either Clint or Thor's development in the five year time jump. For Clint, as much as I like the parallels the script made between him and Natasha in regards to the awful things they've done, I still have difficulty seeing someone who was so devoted to S.H.I.E.L.D. being a ruthless, lawless, out-of-control assassin, even if he did lose his whole family. But Thor's characterization was so much worse. Thor has always been funny in the movies, as are a lot of the characters, but something I always loved about him in the series was how he balanced humor, sincere emotions and being a total bad ass. In this film...yeah, he's almost entirely there for laughs. He had a few bad-ass moments, but he didn't get the chance for much sincere pathos, when he kind of deserved some. The loss of Loki and how Thor dealt with it is never really addressed after the five-year time jump. Loki in general actually doesn't get addressed after he gets the tesseract either -- that almost inevitably will have to be a spin-off, but...hey, yeah, if Loki's still unaccounted for, then Bruce's promise to not let any alternate timelines pop up is already going to be broken, isn't it? The God of Mischief has a hold of the tesseract.

+As much as I liked the thought of Bruce being able to balance out the two sides of himself, I preferred the execution from what little I've seen of Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, where Hulk is the dominant personality but listens to Bruce more often and is therefore smarter than he was previously. In this version Bruce almost seems out of touch with his Hulk side when he tries to fight at first, even if he's now green all the time. It's just less entertaining, and seeing how Bruce evolved to the point where Banner and Hulk are interacting peacefully could've been an interesting thing to show over the course of several movies rather than something just alluded to after a time jump.

+Does everyone's vision of retirement involve moving out to a farm? Like, seriously, both Thanos and Tony do this. Thanos is almost comical, but Tony's just doesn't make sense to me. He just dropped his whole company, all of his weapons, protecting the world, everything?? Tony is a total control freak who became a superhero because other people were using his tech in a way he didn't approve of, yet he leaves his company and tech presumably in someone else's hands to raise his daughter out in the country? That just seems kind of unlike Tony.

So yeah, this film definitely is feels-worthy! I can see why there are so many strong reactions to it. It was a rather fun ride a lot of the time, but I admit, as an ending for quite a few of these characters, it wasn't all it could've been, in my opinion. Not a terrible way to end the Marvel Cinematic Universe's long run, but it's not an ending I'll have much fun revisiting. Once is more than enough.

Overall Grade: C

#marvel #the avengers #endgame #endgame spoilers #marvel spoilers #avengers spoilers #opinion #reviews #oh boy here i go

20 notes · View notes

robininthelabyrinth · 5 years

Text

Fic: An Internal Affair - Chapter 15 (Ao3 link)

Fandom: The Flash Pairing: Leonard Snart/Barry Allen

Summary: Leonard Snart, the CCPD Captain of Internal Affairs, is known as Captain Cold for a very good reason: He hates corrupt cops with a merciless vengeance, and once you’re on his list, you’re in serious trouble.

His next target?

A CCPD lab tech named Barry Allen who’s developed a suspicious habit of disappearing at random intervals.

—————————————————————————————————

Len is not the sort of person that whistles while he works, but if he was, he would be whistling now.

It's a good day.

A good week, even.

Oh, sure, they haven't figured out what the Families are up to yet, though they have confirmed through interviews with the org crime unit and various C.I.s. that the other Families have also been unusually active recently, suggesting - however impossible it seems to be - that they were all involved in this still-unknown 'big day'.

And, yes, the concept of any Family deal big enough to unite the Families is utterly terrifying, not least because Len isn't sure who he can trust with the information. He's brought Captain Singh in on it, both because Len is technically a guest at Singh's precinct and, more importantly, because Len does in fact actually trust Singh to be a decent policeman. Singh understood the ramifications immediately and vowed to do everything he could to help, but they've both agreed to gather more information privately before laying out the situation to anyone higher up (they have no hard evidence, and that weakens their case) or even sharing it outside a very limited group of trusted detectives.

Particularly in light of what happened to Len.

Len also informed Captain Singh of the events following his clash with the Flash, of course, in the interests of giving him the full context for what he overheard, and where, and why he was there in the first place. Singh's expression had been interesting to watch - pain, mostly, since Lloyd and Petersen were probably what Singh would've probably termed "good cops" - but Len made very clear to him that Len doesn't subscribe to the all-too-common Central City view that any cop who isn't on Family payroll is therefore "good" and not corrupt.

Lloyd and Petersen are perfect examples of that, for that matter: conspiring to murder another officer, however disliked and hated, is undoubtedly an act of corruption, but that form of corruption doesn't stem from the typical stinking pit that is Family money and influence. It stems from the belief that cops, particularly "good" cops, don't need to be held accountable for what they do the same way normal people do.

Len knows the way their thinking must have gone:

So Cichowski took bribes - definitely wrong, but did that mean he should go to prison for it, like any civilian would? Surely not. He made a mistake taking a little Family cash, certainly, but it was just a mistake, nothing more; it was asking far too much of him to resist such a tempting offer all the time, wasn't it? As long as he didn't do it routinely, then surely it wasn't real corruption, right? Listen, the man made the highly commendable decision to become a cop, thereby risking his life to serve his city - in return, clearly he ought to be given far more deference and license to make such mistakes once in a blue moon, even though no such lenience would be given to any of the people of the city they were purportedly serving.

(Ignoring, of course, the fact that corrupt cops are serving themselves rather than the city.)

And even Lloyd and Petersen themselves, planning a murder - they felt it was the right thing to do, even if it was illegal, so surely it couldn't be that bad, could it? After all, a cop's judgment was so much more important than little, unimportant things like the laws...

Singh hadn't liked hearing that.

But not as much as he didn't like hearing Len point out that that sort of corruption, that the-boys-in-blue-are-better-than-you culture, is the sort that rots from the top down. The men and women of Singh's precinct thought they were untouchable as long as they were "good" - meaning, as long as they did the bare minimum of their jobs and didn't take Family bribes - and the reason they thought that was because that was the way things were run.

And who was responsible, one might ask, for the way things were run in a precinct?

At least Singh had the decency to come to terms with it at once and acknowledge his role in creating - or at least reinforcing and failing to dismantle - that culture: he offered Len his badge at once, stating his willingness to go to the Commissioner and resign, with the reasons explained publicly in order to start the process of rebuilding the department into a place with ethics and respect for the rule of law. Into a place that the community could truly trust.

Len refused Singh's offer.

That clearly came as a surprise, though the surprise lessened when Len explained his reasoning: the Families uniting into a single entity for any reason, no matter how temporary, represented a threat to Central City on an existential level far beyond even what corruption might accomplish, and as a result, taking them down had to be top priority, putting aside anything but the most egregious crimes.

"Though if I find a single cop in your precinct involved in anything more serious, I'm taking 'em down right away," Len warned Singh.

"More serious than conspiring to murder a superior officer?" Singh asked, arching his eyebrows at Len.

Len snorted. "You know what I mean. The whole point is that I'm their superior officer, so I have the means to ensure that they're punished for what they've done; if not now, then at least later. Civilians, though, they can't do that, and especially not criminals. I hear anything, and I mean anything, about one of your officers abusing their power to hurt someone in custody - and I don't give a damn how many priors that someone has - or to force something, whether by illegal searches or planting evidence, on someone in the street, and I will come down on them so hard they're going to think they forgot to evacuate ahead of a tornado."

Singh nodded, his face grim. "As it happens, I agree," he said. "Any abuse, any illicit searches or wrongfully obtained evidence, any officer-involved shootings, anything like that - you hit them as hard as you like, and I'll back you to the hilt. We need to make it crystal clear that following the laws is not even remotely optional for cops, even if that means tearing apart the whole department and starting again."

It was Len's turn to arch his eyebrows at Singh. "Singing a different tune now than you were before."

"I knew we'd gotten lax," Singh said. "But I thought it was lax on things like paperwork - cutting some little corners to try to pursue justice better, faster, getting people the answers they need and the safety they require, and I thought that was okay. I didn't realize we'd gotten so bad that two of my men would actively plot a murder without realizing that it made them just as bad as the people they're trying to stop."

"Looking the other way on the cutting corners is how you get them there in the first place," Len told him. "You let someone start thinking some rights are small enough to be optional, sooner or later they'll get to thinking that the big ones are, too."

"Clearly," Singh said tersely. "So your plan is to defer my resignation until after we've gathered enough evidence of the situation involving the Families to present to the Commissioner?"

"No," Len said firmly. He'd been considering it, but Singh's speech was sincere enough to convince him otherwise. "I don't want you to resign at all - I want you to stay and help rebuild. Your own record is pretty much clean -"

One of the reasons Len chose this precinct as his temporary office, in fact.

"- and more than that, you're not wrong. Most of your detectives aren't bad guys; they're good cops, and we need good cops in Central, desperately. The problem's that the whole CCPD's been mired in this 'blue code' culture for so long that it's hard to tell which ones actually think they're doing the right thing and which ones are breaking and bending the rules for their own purposes. Our job'll be figuring that out, and you'll be better at doing that than me."

Singh nodded thoughtfully. "What about Lloyd and Petersen, though? A lot can get swept aside in a clean-up like you're planning, since we'll need to wipe at least a few slates clean, but - conspiring to murder's a bit much."

"Conspiring to murder in such a way that makes you vulnerable to Family blackmail," Len corrected him. "Much worse."

"I know this might be difficult for you to process, Snart," Singh said dryly. "But the law does consider 'murder' to be worse than corruption."

"Maybe in some places. In Central, corruption's the bigger problem."

"And yet, the law persists in its unreasonable prioritization of murder attempts. Well? What are you going to do about them?"

Len smirked.

He smirks now, too, in memory.

"Danvers," he says as she walks in. "Tell me."

"I offered, yet again, to get them a cup of coffee," she reports. "They declined, again, and continue to be convinced that you're intending to poison them."

Danvers' somewhat blood-thirsty smile might go some way towards explaining their new-found conviction.

She hadn't exactly taken the news of Len's attempted murder well, by which Len means she's now even more ferociously protective of Len than she was before.

He's reminded her three times so far that she is not legally allowed to avenge his death, should it happen, and she persists in replying only that in that case it would probably be for the best for everyone involved if he didn't die, then.

(He's touched. He’s semi-seriously worried that she's going to go to jail for murder in the first degree one day, but he's still sincerely touched.)

"Good," Len says. "Let 'em stew."

"Boss, we've gone past stewing," Danvers laughs. "We've got to be at least in the braising stage."

"You've been talking to Charlie, haven't you?"

She snorts inelegantly. "If he could offer me better tips about how to make them feel like the stupid jerks they are, I'd take them, but as it happens, no." She grins. "You're right, though. Being excessively nice to them and watching them torture themselves with their own paranoia about when you're going to bring the axe down on them is almost good enough."

"You are a jealous and vengeful god, Danvers," Len tells her, not disapprovingly. "I told you, I promise I'll report them, just after we use their brand new shiny connections to the Families to give us a lead on this 'big day' we're dealing with."

"I'll hold you to that," Danvers says peacefully. "I know you, boss; it's amazing what you'll forgive if you're the only victim."

"They -"

"If you say something dumb like 'they were under a lot of emotional pressure' or 'they didn't actually succeed in murdering me', I'm putting a tracking bracelet on you for your own protection."

"I was going to say they'll get what they deserve at the appropriate time," Len lies. He might have been about to say one of those other things, but Danvers can't prove it. "Honestly, Danvers, between you and Barry, it'll get done; he's as rabid over it as you are."

She smirks.

She's been smirking every time he says "Barry", but that's because she's a ridiculous romantic who thinks the fact that they're on a first-name basis and have decided that they're officially boyfriends is super cool.

Possibly because it is, in fact, super cool.

Len hasn't been this excited about a relationship in - ever.

"Shut up," he tells Danvers, smirking back at her in shared glee. "Get me Thawne and Iris."

"Will do. I'm amazed she's still talking to you, you know."

"I employ her," Len says dryly. "It helps."

After figuring out who exactly the Flash was, Len decided that since the Anti-Flash Task Force had already been constituted with such a vague mandate, not to mention filled with people he generally found trustworthy, that it made the most sense to just continue to operate on that basis.

His first priority, though, was to get them all on the same page.

And that meant, at least unofficially, getting the Flash recognized as an agent of the law and giving his actions at least a veneer of legitimacy - albeit somewhat retrospectively.

"I'm an undercover cop?" Barry asked when Len explained. "You're making me an undercover cop?"

"Yep. You can't arrest people, and you should try to keep from breaking too many laws -" When possible, of course. Len used to be a thief for a living, after all. "- but since we don't want to let Wells know we're on to whatever he's up to, you can't be publicly associated with the department. And that means you're undercover."

"This is awesome."

"You need to unmask yourself to the current Anti-Flash Task Force so that they don't keep trying to take you down."

"Not awesome! Your task force includes Singh, Eddie, and Iris, remember?"

"Danvers, too, and of course I remember; they're my team," Len said patiently. "But no one is benefiting from your continued silence in this regard, least of all Iris. If you have a reason not to tell her that's better than 'I promised Joe West', I'll consider it not bringing her into the loop. Do you?"

"...it could put her in danger?"

"She's already on the task force; any danger she is or is not going to be in is going to arrive regardless of what she knows. Next?"

"...I really don't want to and as my boyfriend you're not going to make me?"

"Of course I'm not going to make you."

"I sense a 'but' here."

"Well, since you already sense it," Len said dryly. "I’m not going to make you tell her anything but my team is getting the full Flash briefing tomorrow morning at 9AM. You're welcome to tell her first, or to be there to help explain things."

"But either way you're telling her with or without me?" Barry asked. He looked, if anything, relieved at the prospect of being forced to confess.

"Got it in one," Len affirmed.

And yet, despite all chances for a private confession, Barry ended up meekly sitting in the conference room when Len arrives a half-hour early.

“You’re early,” Len observed, more than a little bemused. As he well knows, Barry isn’t one for punctuality, not unless the world is ending.

“The world is ending,” Barry said grimly when Len pointed that out.

He’d brought coffee and donuts.

Sadly, they didn’t help him much.

“You – I – what – Barry?!” Iris yowled while Eddie just stared at Barry, mouth agape.

They were the only ones to be surprised, though.

Singh - as Len distinctly started suspecting during the course of their earlier conversation - already knew and had for some time, so he took it calmly enough.

(Danvers, oddly enough, appears to have already known as well - apparently she caught a glimpse of the Flash during their big battle on the street, matched the face with the Barry she’d snuck a peek at in the office, and intended on telling him afterwards, only to lose track of him in the ensuing chaos. The woman has seriously got x-ray vision, Len swears.)

The next few minutes were something of a kaleidoscope of emotion.

First, Iris was shocked (“You’re the Flash? You’re the Flash?!”).

Then she was relieved (“I knew you were hiding something; I just didn’t know what. I thought – something from the coma –”)

Then she was disappointed (“Why didn’t you tell me?”).

Then she was sad (“Don’t you trust me?”).

And then, at last – after Barry let slip in an effort to reassure her that he’d only not told her because West had made him promise not to – incandescently angry.

“You lied to me!”

“To be fair,” Len drawled, “to my understanding, he’d only been out of the coma, what, a few hours, not even one whole day, before West made him make that promise? And it’s pretty hard to feel like you’re betraying a promise, especially one to your father figure, even if you were in a vulnerable state when you made it –”

No, Len didn’t feel even the slightest bit bad about throwing Joe West under the bus.

It probably wouldn’t have worked as well as it did if Iris wasn’t already stewing over the whole thing with her brother Wally and her mother, but as it was –

Fireworks.

"I know you did that deliberately," Barry told him after Iris stormed out of Len's office. "Don't think I don't."

"Are you upset?"

"I, uh...listen, it's mean to do to Joe. He's really not that bad – you know, you should really add him to the task force team officially –"

"No chance in hell, but also not what I asked. You upset about it?"

Barry considered it, then shrugged. "The West family fights have always been epic and I'd really rather not be in the middle. Anyway, I’m, like, 75% sure she said somewhere in there that she forgave me for not telling her!"

He beamed.

The way Len remembered it, Iris said something along the lines of “you shouldn’t have let him convince you to lie to me but I know who the real asshole that I won’t be forgiving for this is!”, but he was pretty sure that meant exactly what Barry thought it meant.

Really, dumping this mess on Detective West's head, if it got Barry the absolution he'd so desperately longed for and lifted the weight of that unnecessary secret off Barry’s shoulders, and thus getting Len a chance to see that beautiful smile?

Yeah, he’d do it that way any day.

"If you don’t mind,” Singh said dryly at that point, suddenly reminding everyone that the captain of the precinct is sitting among them, “I’m going to go make sure she doesn't blow anything up in the meantime.”

By the time they got to the main floor, Iris was yelling, West was yelling back, and somehow they'd gotten off the subject of Barry – according to Danvers, West had apparently reacted to the initial accusation by trying to excuse his actions as being for Iris’ own good, which went over exactly as well as Len would have expected it to – and onto the subject of Francine and Wally.

Apparently, all of Iris’ plans about a reasonable and pre-planned confrontation went up in smoke the second West said, “You don’t know what’s the right thing for you sometimes.”

Len can’t really blame her.

Luckily for Len’s eardrums, Singh interrupted and sent them both home to go fight it out there instead.

(A short conversation with Singh later, Len did, begrudgingly, agree to bring West onto the team. The man already knew about Barry, after all; there was no point in keeping him out. Even though they would definitely need to have some serious words about cops that willingly worked with known vigilantes without bringing them in...)

After that, Barry lets himself get talked into doing some work up in his lab lest he mope for the few hours it took Iris to finish fighting with West and return, but when she finally did return, she was no longer quite as angry.

“I’m not talking to Dad,” she informed Barry, giving him a hug. “At all. Zilch. If you promise me you won��t mention me to him at all for the next few days, I will trade you total absolution and forgiveness.”

“I won’t even remember your name when he’s in the area,” Barry promised. “Hey, who’s this girl, why’s she here –”

Iris laughed.

“So – we’re okay?”

“Oh, we’re better than okay, Mr. Allen,” Iris said, grinning. “We are going to go through the backlog of my blog and you’re going to tell me the story behind every last incident –”

Barry wailed dramatically as she drags him off, but he was clearly enjoying himself

It was really nice to see them getting along again. Gave Len hope that if Barry could get absolution, then Mick -

Len is not thinking about Mick.

Nope.

Len is high on new relationship vibes of goodness and he's not letting any thoughts into his head that might disrupt that. He's giving himself a small vacation from despair. He deserves it.

Besides, the end result of the whole thing is that Iris took some time away from the precinct to cool off – forgiveness or not, she’s still a little upset about the ease by which Barry lied to her – which in turn meant that Barry ends up using the spaces in his daily schedule that he’d previously used to hang out with Iris to come visit Len instead.

Len doesn’t mind that at all. Even the torture and tedium of routine PT are a lot more fun with a solicitous boyfriend willing to run and get him his favorite pizza as a reward.

(It’s actually kind of funny – despite Len knowing that there has to be a Salieri’s pizza shop around the precinct office somewhere, since Danvers gets pick-up from it on the regular, Barry can’t seem to find it for the life of him. He swears that the only place to get it is the original location in the slums, which he can only get to in time due to his super-speed, while Danvers just smirks and refuses to divulge her sources. She's stubborn like that. But pizza or no, seeing Barry around is a surefire way to brighten Len’s day.)

Sure, Barry can't be there all the time - he's got his regular CSI work that Len doesn't want to interfere with, and of course keeping up with his speed training so that Wells doesn't get suspicious, and recently Barry also mentioned something about having some luck convincing Cisco about Wells because of some sort of time travel aberration where Wells apparently killed Cisco in a future that never happened...

Yeah, Len's not touching that last one with a ten foot pole. He's already made Barry swear never to use his time travel thing for anything less than a city-wide apocalypse - nothing personal, nothing stupid, and certainly not to fix an argument or something stupid like that.

Barry actually protested that the first time Len brought it up.

Well, not the “no time travel to redo an argument” point – they've both seen Buffy, and they've already had the whole discussion about how Willow's behavior leading up to the Tabula Rasa episode is unbelievably unethical – but he argued that there might be some reasons that justify it, like death of a loved one.

Len put a stop to that line of thought right there and then.

(If he starts thinking of letting Barry change history to fix lives, then he'll ask him to fix time to save Mick. He wouldn't be able to resist. And then they'd probably never meet and Barry would still be under Wells' influence and -)

Barry got the picture.

They still hadn't entirely agreed - especially since Barry wasn't even certain that he could go back more than a day or so, rendering the problem somewhat moot as even Len has trouble objecting to a very small and limited reset to keep someone important from dying or something - but Len at least managed to extract a promise from Barry that he wouldn't do any time travel without checking in with Len or Iris first as to the wisdom of the action in question, which Len supposes is the most he can reasonably ask for.

But that's as much thinking about time travel as Len wants to do. If Cisco's future-doppelgänger-self got murdered by Wells in such a way that Cisco somehow retained the memory of that murder, thereby causing him to doubt his relationship with Wells, that's his business.

Though apparently the (unspecified to Len) method of murder apparently raises the intriguing possibility that Wells himself might be the second speedster, and thereby the man who murdered Barry's mother, rather than merely employing him.

"We’re not sure if he is, though," Barry said when Len asked, gnawing at his lip. “Cisco admits that he doesn’t really remember what happened, not exactly, so it's still possible that he's just someone working as Wells’ agent. But if Cisco is right – Wells might be the Reverse Flash.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah, no kidding. Bad enough being manipulated by a mentor, but...yeah. If Wells is the one who killed my mom and framed my dad, we need to get a confession out of him.”

"Wells or not Wells, the most important thing is that we stop the Reverse Flash at all costs before he hurts more people," Len corrected. "If we can get a confession, that’d be great. But if we can't, we can still use the fact he exists to create enough reasonable doubt due to previously unknown circumstances to get your father released."

Len got very satisfactorily kissed for that. That'd been fun...

"Boss!"

Len snaps out of his daydream. "Yes, Danvers?"

"Iris and Eddie are here," she says, looking amused. "Since we’re seeing them separately from the rest of the team the last few days –” Meaning West, mostly. Poor Eddie keeps having to split his time between his girlfriend and his partner, since they aren’t talking. “– I figured you’d want to talk to them first. Shall I show them in?"

"Yes, do," he says. "I want to hear how far they've gotten on Wells' Family connections."

The answer, unfortunately, is not far at all.

"His records are creepily perfect," Iris says, pacing the room. "Like - creepily perfect. We're talking, the guy has never so much as made a typo in anything, and his signature is picture-perfect identical on every page. It's like all his paperwork was done by a robot!"

"Does that help us?" Len inquires.

"Probably not," Thawne says reluctantly. "There's no hard evidence Wells has ever even seen a Family member, much less a financial connection between them -"

"There's what Barry's friend Terri found," Iris objects.

"We haven't connected that shell company to Wells, though," Eddie protests.

"Shell company?"

"Yeah!" Iris says enthusiastically. "Our one lead!"

"Hardly even that, really," Thawne qualifies. "We've identified one company that handled a large part of the contracting for STAR Labs' construction - Zoom Contracting - but their financials are ridiculously bizarre."

"They supposedly constructed the entire inner ring of STAR Labs in less than three weeks," Iris says. "And supposedly they incurred no costs for doing it beyond the raw materials needed for the work – though of course they got paid hand over fist for it all."

"That sounds like fairly routine graft to me," Len says. "What's the lead?"

"We haven’t found any other clients who acknowledge having worked with them or any other projects that they’re associated with on any construction approvals, but they regularly receive extremely high payments from – somewhere," Iris says. "Somewhere unknown. We managed to work that out between my hunches, Terri's forensic accounting wizardry and Kara's ridiculously fast archival research - seriously, girl, you're not also a superspeedster metahuman, right?"

"Nope," Danvers says. "I'm a different species entirely."

"Iris' theory," Thawne, blessedly practical, interjects, "is that if Wells really is the speedster in yellow, he theoretically could have done a lot of the construction personally, thereby avoiding outlay on labor costs and resulting in an extremely fast deliverable. And if he did it personally and Zoom Contracting is just a front, then the additional 'client' payments could be how the Families are paying him for the hits. It's pretty tenuous."

"Good enough start for me, though," Len says. "You're authorized to keep digging, all of you. Just remember -"

"People who look into STAR Labs or Wells have a tendency to disappear," Iris says. "We know. We're being careful."

"Good. Out, all of you; I've got my own mission for today."

"I'm sure you do," Danvers says with a grin. "Have fun, and don't strain that side of yours by going too quickly."

Thawne snorts.

Everyone looks at him and he flushes. "I just – too quickly – never mind."

"No, it was a good one," Len allows magnanimously. "Good luck on your investigation. Get back to me when you have results."

Thawne leaves, escorted by Danvers.

Iris, however, lingers behind, standing by the door.

Len arches his eyes at her, and she smiles ruefully.

"I'm guessing we can both take the shovel talk as said, right?" she asks.

"We can," Len agrees. He'd expected something like this. "I have no intention of breaking Barry's heart."

"Good," Iris says, but she hesitates. "But...Barry - okay, you know how he didn't tell me about the Flash thing?"

"Oddly enough, having been there when you found out about it – yes, I'm familiar."

"Yeah, yeah, that’s not the point I’m getting at here. Stop being snarky for two minutes. The point is - I love Barry. He’s my best friend. He always will be. But – he lies. A lot. Mostly to get out of confrontations, but sometimes he just forgets to mention things because he subconsciously realizes people might get angry at him if he tells them." She shakes her head. "And based on what I know about you so far, you take people not being straight with you pretty seriously."

Len frowns. "Are you...warning me about getting my heart broken? By Barry?"

"I mean, yeah, I guess, sort of? Again, while this is based on a pretty limited acquaintance with you, I think you're a pretty upstanding guy, former thief or no thief," Iris says, crossing her arms. "For all your jokes, you really care about ethics and being a good person and all that. If things blow up, well...I just wanted to say that, Barry or no Barry, best friend or no best friend, come tell me your side of the story and I'll be willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. Okay?”

Len is gaping at her.

“Listen, like I said, Barry's my best friend, but I know him. I know him and I know you, and...I don't know. You're pretty lonely, and you don't deserve to be." Iris shrugs. "Break his heart, I'll break you. But if you two break up..."

She trails off, frowning.

"Too many 'break's in that sentence?"

"Yeah. Anyway, you get the gist."

And then she slips out the door before Len really has time to react to what she just said.

He's not exactly sure what to do with it. He supposes he appreciates the faith she has in him, and acknowledges that as Barry's Mick she would have the most insight into Barry's character, but...really?

Now that he's gotten to know Barry, Len can't imagine what in the world would be bad enough to cause the sort of break up blow up Iris is describing. Besides, he knows about the Flash thing - what else is it going to be? Barry's not-so-secret supernatural blog that he's totally still updating?

Weird.

Len supposes he'll just take the compliment.

In the meantime, he has a date.

He timed his meeting to end exactly 25 minutes after the meeting time Barry proposed, so it's no surprise when Barry appears in his office only seven minutes later, looking flustered and embarrassed. "Uh, hi - I didn't mean -"

"Good timing. I just finished work," Len says, not without fondness. "It ran long."

Barry looks relieved for a moment, then suspicious. "Did you deliberately let it run long?"

"Of course I did. I've met you."

Barry laughs, looking delighted. "Okay, c'mon, I left the car outside -"

"No, wait, don't -"

They're in the car.

Len bends double in agony as his side and back and leg scream protest at the abrupt change in position. The fact that Barry has managed to make the actual running part of events so sudden as to barely be consciously noticed doesn't really matter; his body still knows it happened, even if his mind doesn't.

"Barry," he says through gritted teeth. "I ain't wearing my braces. That hurt."

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean -"

"We'll talk about your evolving definition of consent later. Go get my crutches."

Barry reappears a second later, looking embarrassed. Luckily, Len's managed to take a few deep breaths and shove down the pain again. "Thanks."

"Sorry," Barry says again. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know," Len says. "And one of these days I'll be fully healed and you'll have permission to run me around as you like, but until then, a bit of caution wouldn't go amiss."

"Yeah, you're right...what was that about consent? I mean, I wouldn't, uh, you know -"

"Not sexual consent," Len says, rolling his eyes. "You're fine on that. Just regular normal consent, asking for permission, that sort of kindergarten stuff. The fact that you tell me you're gonna run me doesn't mean you don't have to wait for me to say 'okay' before you do run me. Emergency cases of rescuing life and limb excepted, of course."

"Got it," Barry says, still looking embarrassed. "Sorry."

Len waves a hand, dismissing it. "Now," he says, settling himself more comfortably into the car. "We estimate Lloyd and Petersen won't be coming out for another seventeen minutes, twenty three seconds, right?"

"That's right."

"Well, then," Len says. "Maybe we should talk about your sexual ethics -"

Barry knows Len well enough by now to laugh and take that as a cue to lean over and kiss him.

Seventeen minutes later, their targets exit, right on time, and Len gently (and reluctantly) pushes Barry away.

"Great," Barry says, focusing on the extremely paranoid looking pair. "Let's follow them."

"Be a little obvious about it," Len advises.

“A little obvious?”

"They’re cops; there’s no way you can drive well enough for them not to notice you. So we want to be obvious instead - not too much, just enough that they see a black car with tinted windows and think 'Family'."

Barry grins.

They follow Lloyd and Petersen for a while, pausing occasionally to make out as the two cops make their general rounds throughout town. Len’s been following them for a few days, mostly with Danvers or sometimes Wally to drive him – they haven’t yet figured out where they're meeting with the Families, or even if they are, but in Len’s opinion, following them around and heightening their paranoia is fun regardless of how productive it is.

Stalking people together while on a date with Barry is even more fun.

“Hey,” Barry says at their fourth stop instead of trying to wiggle into Len’s lap like he has the last three stops. “That’s weird.”

“What’s weird?” Len asks, looking around. It’s a slum corner, not unlike most slum corners – a crummy office building, a shady-looking bodega, a run-down set of apartments. Nothing special.

“No, I know this building,” Barry says, squinting at the office building Lloyd and Petersen entered a few minutes ago. “This is where Dibny’s office is.”

“Dibny?”

“Yeah, you know, Ralph Dibny, the one I told you about. The cop – well, he used to be a cop – the one who planted evidence?”

Len’s eyebrows go up. “And he’s working in the slums now? As what?”

“Private investigator, apparently. His building did have a Family problem, though; I saw some when I went to visit him.” Len arches his eyebrows, causing Barry to flush a bit. “I was having a bit of a moral crisis and wanted to remind myself what not to do. Ultimately not an issue.”

Sounds like an issue, but sure, Len’s willing to take this one on faith. He nods. “Family problem, huh? Which Family?”

“Santinis.”

“Here?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Not a Santini area, usually. Interesting. Did Dibny say that he stayed in touch with anyone from the precinct?”

“Yeah,” Barry says. “He said some of them threw him work when they could, on account of their friendship and empathy and stuff. Including some of the cops known to be in the Family pocket. Do you think…?”

“That Dibny’s acting as some sort of go-between? It’s possible,” Len says. “It’s as good a theory as any, anyway, though of course we’ll have to see who else is in that building –”

Barry’s gone.

And now he’s back.

“They’re on Dibny’s floor,” he reports. “No idea if they’re going to see him specifically, though; I didn’t stick around for fear they’d see me.”

Len snorts. “Well, that works. Now we just need to know what’s on that floor - which we can do another time,” he adds, catching Barry’s arm before he disappears again. “Hold off.”

“Okay,” Barry says, then grins. “Back to what we were otherwise doing?”

Well. If Barry insists...

The rest of the ride goes pretty much without incident, and Barry promises to get West onto the Dibny connection since West is technically on the task force team now, as Len promised.

Unfortunately, West’s still pretty bitter about Len’s existence, not to mention the fact that Len and Barry are openly dating – Len got bored and hobbled off about three minutes into West’s shovel talk, both because he believes respect is earned, not given, and because he wanted to ensure West’s oblique references to his service weapon remained oblique and didn’t turn into actual threats that would potentially get West in trouble – so Len’s been delivering actual instructions through Barry for the time being in the hopes that if West thinks it’s Barry’s idea, he’ll actually do the work he’s been told to do.

(Purposefully malingering because you don’t like a guy is not corruption; it’s just being an asshole. Though if West says one more thing about Barry banging a supervillain…)

A few more kisses later, Len starts making his hobbling way back towards his office even as Barry disappears in a flash of light.

Heh.

Flash of light.

It’s never going to get old.

Len’s about halfway there when his phone buzzes with a text from Charlie.

Got some1 wants 2 meet u. Has ur card.

Len’s eyebrows go up. His card? As in, his almost-never-used brand-new business cards that actually admit that he’s a cop? Who the hell would have that?

Doesn’t want 2 meet at ur office. Jitters in 5?

Make it 10, Len texts back, sighing. He sends a text notifying Danvers of his changed plans so she doesn’t start a search party when he doesn’t arrive at the office and changes direction.

When he gets to Jitters, he sees Charlie hovering by a booth in the back, smiling at a twink.

Len makes his way forward. “No,” he says. “Just – no. Bad Charlie.”

Charlie pouts at him, but shrugs. “Another time, maybe,” he tells the twink – brown eyes, brown hair, pouty lips aside, and Len really shouldn’t be mentally nicknaming him ‘the twink’ since this is probably his contact but it’s really hard not to – and meanders off.

“Tell me,” the twink says in a surprisingly upper-class sort of accent that doesn’t really match the faded green hoodie he’s pulled up in a vague attempt to hide his face. Or possibly it’s those hearing aids he’s not-so-subtly trying to hide, who knows. “When he says he’d like to eat me, does he mean –”

“S’got priors for attempted cannibalism. I wouldn’t go for it if I were you.”

“Ah. Right. I see.” The guy lets his eyes drift across Len’s body. “I don’t suppose –”

“Not a chance.” Len settles himself down across from the guy. “You wanted to see me?”

The guy produces what is, in fact, Len’s card. “I think it’s more like you wanted to see me,” he says, tilting his head back in an arrogant sort of way. “I found your card in my – temporary living quarters, let’s say, with a note indicating that you wanted to discuss what I learned during my tenure at STAR Labs.”

Tenure at STAR Labs –

Ah, yes.

The now-missing Mark Mardon’s surprising choice in roommates.

“So you're Hartley Rathaway, I’m guessing?” Len says.

“That’s correct,” Rathaway says. “I also hear that you’re the man in charge of investigating the Flash. The Anti-Flash Task Force, I believe?”

Stupid nickname.

“I’m associated with a task force dedicated to looking into unusual events in Central City,” Len hedges. “And yeah, I’m currently investigating STAR Labs, including your claims of misconduct prior to the Accelerator explosion. Anything you’d be willing to tell me, I’d appreciate hearing.”

Rathaway’s nose wrinkles a bit when he hears Len’s lower-class accent in full force. It’s not Len’s fault it goes particularly nasal around longer, more unfamiliar words, but the reaction does make Len not particularly fond of the young Rathaway, no matter how much sympathy he has for anyone who got kicked out of their family for being something other than straight.

Guess you can take the money away from the rich kid, but it doesn’t make him any less of a spoiled brat…

“I do have information about the Accelerator explosion, which I’ll be more than happy to share with you,” Rathaway says, clearly deciding to ignore Len’s obviously less-than-privileged origins in favor of the opportunity to tell his story to a willing ear. “Despite the fact that my earlier complaints were so rudely brushed off by the police.”

“Well, I ain’t the regular police,” Len says.

“I also,” Rathaway says, then pauses, clearly for effect, “have information regarding the illicit activity of the Flash himself.”

Oh, boy.

“We’re largely dropping that angle of our investigation,” Len tells him. “While we’re very concerned with illegality around the Flash, we largely believe him to be acting in good faith.”

Rathaway sneers. “Good faith? The Flash?”

“That’s correct,” Len says, a little stiffly. “His decision to take on crime-fighting on his own account without coordination with the proper authority might be over-enthusiastic, but we have reason to believe he’s honestly trying to help people.”

“Oh, I’m sure he thinks he is,” Rathaway says, still sneering. “I assume the little secret prison he’s running is also considered to be ‘in good faith’?”

Len freezes.

Secret prison?

(He’s trapped in a small dark room, an unfamiliar claustrophobia seizing his heart as he thinks to himself that he’s going to die in this room, this prison with the Families guarding the door so that they can come in and hurt him whenever they feel like it before coming to kill him at last when they get bored of him, he’s going to die in this modern-day oubliette where people are put to be forgotten, this terrible place where no one will ever find him, his death ignored, and only Mick and Lisa left to mourn and wonder...)

The Flash – Barry – his Barry – is involved with a secret prison?

Len’s pretty sure he doesn’t want to know.

But there’s no sound of a lie in Rathaway’s voice, and Len - Len's a cop. He picked that job years ago, the job and all the responsibilities that came with it, and that means his duty, first and foremost, is to justice. It’s the mission he’s devoted his life to; the one principle he holds above everything; the thing that drove him through undercover work all those years, the thing that led him to the work he does now.

The basis for everything he does, the most fundamental of his beliefs: that the pursuit of justice is the utmost duty of every cop, no matter the personal cost.

If Len closes his eyes to something bad just because he’s pretty sure it’s going to ruin everything good that he has?

Well. That would makes him no better than the corrupt self-interested cops that he hates so much.

No better than his dad.

So even if Len desperately doesn’t want to know – he has no choice.

He has to know the truth.

“You know, I ain’t too sure about that,” he says, very slowly. “Why don’t you tell me all about it, and I’ll see what I think?”

#coldflash #leonard snart #barry allen #iris west #Hartley rathaway #david singh #eddie thawne #kara danvers #an internal affair #my fic

28 notes · View notes