the gorgug-porter conversation is interesting to me because like. yea for the overwhelming majority of the conversation porter’s being shitty & trying to fit gorgug into a box that gorgug just does not fit into by trying to make gorgug’s relationship with his rage more focused on the aggression aspect of it. but then there’s also this specific thing that brennan brought up again in the ap, which is that gorgug’s relationship with his rage is wholly “this is a tool i use to protect my friends.” which isn’t a bad thing! but that’s his Whole relationship with it, & gorgug seems to place next to no value on his rage in relationship to himself. which is problematic, because it’s first & foremost his rage.
being raised in a household with a sort of toxic positivity largely meant that, whether or not it was his parents’ intention, gorgug internalized the message that more traditionally “negative” emotions such as anger are the wrong response to something. part of the reason he prioritizes his artificing is probably because it’s “fixing” things. in comparison to being a barbarian, which gorgug associates with “breaking” things. good vs. bad behavior, in his eyes.
it’s a totally unacceptable bar to measure a 16 y/o by, but i do think part of porter’s reasoning for not letting gorgug multiclass is him recognizing that gorgug generally does not value anger as a valid emotional response to something, at the very least for himself. & that directly conflicts with what being a barbarian is, because whether you like it or not, that rage is what fuels you. but again, barring a kid from pursuing something they deeply care about in part (not entirely, porter has a lot of more bullshit reasons) because of their fundamental values & world outlook is crazy.
so yes, 98% of porter’s reasoning is pretty shitty, immature, rife with a toxic view that there’s only one proper way to access rage, & generally not a good thing to do as a teacher, but also within that reasoning is the 2% of ‘there is a fundamental part of yourself that you only value if you can use it to take care of other people & you need to accept that as something that can take care of you, too.’ but that’s something to discuss with a therapist or a guidance counselor, not something that should hugely impact gorgug’s academic future.
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I haven’t been insane about Vi enough lately so time to pour out some random thoughts. free association thinking time:
been thinking about her “It's my savings. I wanna be rich, okay? So I can travel, eat well, buy cool stuff… So no one can say I can't do something!” And none of the following will really be insightful or revelatory because it’s just what she says here but. yeah! that’s vi! the main reason she’s so big on money is because she has to be to get what she wants out of life! it’s what lets her say no to people telling her what to do, and that’s important to her because she has no choice but to be independent and support herself. because no one else will. No one at the Hive had anything positive or supportive to say about her being an explorer until she went out and did it (to a ridiculously successful degree, too. I have to wonder if/how it might’ve differed if she was on a regular accomplishment level team. not the one leading them all to the mission to the Hive). she never had a choice not to be. I could also see that being a little part of why she starts out not really being a teamwork person. past experiences have taught her she can’t rely on anyone else for support. (does make me wonder about what if she’d met Chubee before leaving the Hive. obviously she still would’ve left, but how might even a bit of support have changed other things?)
I feel like we don’t talk about the fact that The Beemerang Is Also Knives enough
ok so at one point there was this post talking about people with money and how it affects their life like. if you can afford to get a nanny then you can only do the fun parts of childcare and when you stop feeling like taking care of the kid you can just hand them to someone else to take them away. and again likely not especially revelatory but I would guess that’s the kind of way queen bianca handled the bees as her daughters (she does care about them. absolutely. but not in the same hands-on attached way as we usually associate with parents) and thinking about how that kind of treatment would then apply to vi....hm
in universes where discussions of Gender and Pronouns etc happen I think she has moments where she gets frustrated with the everything of Being Referred To and Having Complicated Identity She Hasn’t Quite Figured Yet and is like. gender is cancelled how dare you refer to me. but especially anyone else calls me a girl ever i will be stabbing them
also I think a lot about what circumstances she finds out about gayness/Gender being things. and whether she’s thought about it in herself before and whether she’d been dismissed on it/told it wasn’t a thing etc. most circumstances she ends up angry about the finding out times because of (un)consicious internal conflict stuff
underground tavern stuff implies she was definitely doing quests and stuff for money with them precanon. would kill to know what specifically it was. but also the first talk with utter implies that she was doing stuff off that questboard as well which is even more intriguing. utter’s spy also implies you don’t have to be an explorer to do them but otherwise you would think you did I feel. so again very curious what was up there
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western, native english speaking internet needs to be more normal about broken english. like genuinely. there are tons of posts talking about how english is such a hard language and how non-native speakers "shouldn't apologise for not speaking english fluently because they are making an effort"
and then when we turn around there are posts and youtube videos making fun of broken english. "this story is so hard to read ugh this is such poor prose I don't know what the author meant half the time" well maybe the author doesn't speak english so well. maybe the author never had to write long prose in english before. maybe the author wanted to share something they love with a wider community and the easiest way to go about it is writing in english because that is the most commonly spoken language in fandoms. maybe the author is trying their best and you are mocking them for it not being Good Enough for your standards as someone raised with the language the author started learning two years ago
it's not even in writing, really. it's the mocking of accents or the incorrect tenses and strange grammar, the strangely worded set of instructions posted online
everyone always talks inclusion and how this should be fine but the moment they actually see someone not do well and don't have it spelled out to them that the author isn't a native speaker? the internet turns to ridicule. and that needs to stop
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Dude I absolutely cannot stop thinking about minecraft-ing the dca but WHAT THE HELL DO I MAKE THEM
"oh Moon is definitely a phantom" ok. BUT WHAT DO I MAKE SUN. the only guys I can kiiiinda think of being a pair to the phantom is like. a parrot or a bee??? but those are SO DIFFERENT to phantoms.
and then I was like. slime & magma cube. but how in the fuck do I make hybrids of those. it's either cube or human and neither of those are directions I want to go in
and I also really really want to make them a drowned and a husk but. THOSE ARE TOO HUMAN. how do I make drowned and husk that are not just Human Guy™. also there were other reasons I didn't want to do that (mostly story-wise because yes I'm going to turn this into a comic why the fart wouldn't I) SO. WHAT YHE FUCK DO I DO
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Whenever I think about how I characterize Porky, I always come back to this quote I read in a short story in the Twelve Kingdoms series regarding the trial of a prisoner named Shudatsu, who (among many other crimes) killed a young child just to steal the small amount of cash he had on him, and held no remorse for his crime. This is the quote:
The bitter realization occurred to Eikou—the man himself possessed no powers of self-analysis. His was an unexamined life. He had no substantive awareness of his crimes and was not about to face up to his actions and gain that awareness. Calling himself “trash” was the tortoise shell he crawled inside, and he was content to stay there forever. No words would persuade him otherwise and no words could wound him. (Prison of Dusk: Chapter 8, Twelve Kingdoms, trans. Eugene Woodbury. Emphasis added by me).
This quote makes me go !!!!!! because that’s exactly how I characterize Porky: someone who is capable of doing so many horrible things because he uses “I’m a terrible person” as his armor to protect himself from doing any sort of self reflection.
My interpretation of his character is why seeing him being characterized as “a terrible person who was always going to end up a monster” or “innocent because his family/Giygas who made him this way” irks me so so much! Saying that Porky was always a terrible person doesn’t really show respect to his character. He’s an abused child. His parents demeaned him and in the Japanese version, his father physically abused him in the beginning of the game. Unconditional love, kindness, and respect were likely commodities in his house (and while Porky’s closeness with Picky is left a bit vague, Picky did wait for Porky on the hill when he ran off. Meanwhile, during Fourside, Picky was abandoned at home while Porky and his father (and mother? My memory is a bit foggy) were living it up, so make of their relationship what you will).
But on the other side of the coin, saying that Porky’s family/Giygas is solely responsible for his behavior is annoying because he’s capable of independent thought. Porky does have at least some idea of what’s right and wrong considering that he begs for Ness’ forgiveness in Happy Happy Village after kidnapping Paula and joining a cult. And while Buzz Buzz admits that Giygas sways people to do evil, my interpretation of how Giygas’ powers work is that he cannot force you to do anything that you aren’t at least somewhat willing to do: he can only make the worse options seem more appealing. If he was capable of outright possession, then what stops him from possessing your sister/mom/dog/every NPC you encounter and making them attack you? There’s still a choice to do the right thing, even if he can make you feel like the wrong choices are more appealing.
To me, Porky is someone who was born in unfortunate circumstances which made him feel powerless and weak and when an opportunity arose to get power (wealth, influence, followers), he jumped on it. And when people grew upset with him because the power he’s accessed is hurting others, instead of doing some self-examination and giving it up, he saw himself as the victim and doubled down. He took the words that people threw at him, “horrible” “terrible” “rotten” “bad,” and decided that if that was how he was going to be seen both as the abused child and as Giygas’ right-hand man, then he may as well live with it and enjoy his power regardless. In the end, being a terrible person was a place of safety for him because he would never have to confront his own actions and see that the only thing he’s truly accumulated is a wealth of shame.
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i love how in heroes of olympus, there’s a boat full of couples (+leo☺️). and yet even if you didn’t know when each couple started dating, it’s so blatantly obvious that percy and annabeth have been together the longest, and are the most serious
cause frank and hazel are still pretty nervous/unsure with each other. they JUST started dating, and are so pure and adorable. they just haven’t quite figured out the romance part yet
and jason and piper have their moments, but they’re just so… distant. like not physically, of course, but they just don’t really seem to connect on a deep level. and they aren’t super affectionate, at least not physically or openly. piper is constantly unsure about where they’re at, and while jason has thoughts about how great piper is, he doesn’t openly show his feelings too often.
but percabeth? they’re the oldest in age (physically), have known each other the longest, and have been romantically committed to each other for the most time. they act like they’ve been together for eternity, which is funny since they were technically only dating for 4 months before percy got abducted. but they just have such a deep history together and such an intense connection. they’re in it for the long run. there’s no doubt or uncertainty - and it shows. like…annabeth is so wife girlfriend. there are so many funny/cute little moments, like her scolding him for putting too much syrup on his pancakes, and telling him to take a shower when he smells bad. and when percy suggests him and jason should go on a dangerous quest instead of annabeth and piper, instead of being like “omg he cares so much about me😍” (which hazel and piper would have done) annabeth is like “what seaweed brain?? you think two guys can do better than two girls??” and percy is immediately like “uh uh NO nope i definitely do NOT think that!!” he knows better. the immediate fear is so husband boyfriend of him. they simultaneously have the most disagreements (remember when percy called annabeth out when she thought she should navigate through rome alone, and basically called her stupid for thinking it was a good idea, and then they argued and had a face-off, which percy won) - while also being the most lovey dovey (they’re constantly putting their hands on each other - annabeth putting her hand on his chest to calm him down, putting their hands on each other’s arms for support, percy having his arm around her when they’re at the edge of the ship, always giving each other a kiss on the mouth or the cheek when they separate, etc). and they have no issues sneaking off in the middle of the night to do some talking and kissing. and quite frankly, making out in front of piper in BoO (remember that? when piper got super uncomfortable at how long their kiss was lasting, and then annabeth let out, and i quote, “grunt-whimpers”). they are just so natural and comfortable with each other. piper says it herself.
i just think it’s so funny. little frazel being adorable and blushing when they hold hands, jiper is happy to be dating but they’re also a little angsty and uncertain, and then there’s percabeth just being the old married couple they are. (and leo is being cute and fixing stuff)
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