#parents really will ruin everything even when u thought there was nothing to ruin in the first place

[honeysunchild]

Parents really will have kids on purpose and then spend the next twenty or so years punishing that child for being alive and having needs

[xspeter]

𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝘾𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙋𝙖𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙋𝙚𝙣𝙨 (𝙒𝙖𝙞𝙩 𝙐𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙡 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙇𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙈𝙚 𝘼𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣) / Part One

❣︎ 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝗛𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗼𝗻 𝘅 𝗙𝗲𝗺!𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

❣︎ Steve remembers the exact moment he ruined everything. He remembers when those blinds closed for the last time, and he lost you for good. But, it’s been a year since then, and Steve is determined to make you fall in love with him again.

❣︎ wc: 16.4k

❣︎ notes: 𝙚𝙭𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨, 𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚, 𝙗𝙤𝙤𝙠𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙚!𝙖𝙪, jason carver gets handsy with reader but nothing happens, some cussing

reblogs are greatly appreciated ! <3

September, 1979

You’d met Steve Harrington a week before your first day of seventh grade. You’d just moved to Hawkins from some small town in Pennsylvania - apparently your parents were big on the small town life - and you had been terrified.

You’d spent your entire life with the same group of kids and the same friends. You didn’t want to leave them, but you didn’t have any choice. And to a thirteen-year-old you, it felt like your parents were stabbing you in the back.

You still remember the tears that rolled down your cheeks as you helped your parents move the boxes holding your childhood items out of the U-Haul and into your brand new bedroom. Your mom did her best to cheer you up, “Look,” She spoke softly, tugging you into her side, “It’s so much bigger than your old room. Isn’t that nice?”

You just cried harder.

It was true, your dads new job in Hawkins was rolling in money like your family had never seen before, but you didn’t care about those kinds of things, you never had. You cared about the people and the memories you had to leave behind.

But, of course, none of that mattered at this point. You’d left. You still had your friends' numbers memorized, but how long would it be before it faded from your mind, and your number faded from theirs? The thought made you nauseous.

You spent that first night sniffling, surrounded by scattered cardboard boxes and various items. You didn’t even have your bed frame yet, the U-Haul had gotten delayed for whatever reason, so you were stuck with a mattress laid onto the dusty hardwood floor.

But, like there is with almost everything, there was a silver lining. Your books.

To most people, books are just that. Books. They’re boring, expensive, and seen as a way to waste time and nothing else. They don’t see them for what they really are.

To you (and your friends back home), a book was an escape. It was the perfect way to spend your time and the perfect hobby, and right now, it was the only thing keeping you from breaking down.

Your current book was about four sisters who all were navigating through different paths in life, and all finding different ways to deal with the world around them. It was a classic, and you saw a bit of yourself in all of the sisters. (The painter a little more than the others in all honesty.)

It was simple yet complex in all the right places and definitely one of your favorite books this year. You continue to read it through glassy eyes, doing your best to keep your mind off of your current situation, when suddenly there’s a bang at your window.

You jump up, arms instinctively hugging the open book to your chest. There was another one, and then another, and then another, before you finally swallow harshly and work up the courage to approach the glass. You placed your book gently onto the hardwood next to you, the spine up as it laid flat, and softly padded towards the noise.

Goosebumps rose onto your skin as you did, your short clad legs attempting to get used to the cold air around you now that you’d left the safety of your blankets.

At first, you couldn’t make anything out except for the house next to you and the starry night sky, but then you saw the cause of the noise. A rock. Someone was throwing rocks at your window.

You furrowed your brows and looked towards the ground, and low-and-behold some boy was standing outside your window. He had dark brown hair, wore a green sweatshirt with what you’re assuming is a school logo on it, and gray shorts.

Hesitantly, you unlocked your window and hauled it up, but not before another rock hurled its way straight at your neck. It hit you smack in the middle of your throat, causing you to choke for a moment and grab at the area. “Ow!”

The boy winced and immediately dropped the rest of the rocks in his hand, (why did he have so many rocks? At least ten fell out of his hand!) “Sorry!” He yelled out.

You glared at him, hand rubbing soothingly at your now sore throat, “Who are you?”

“Uh, Steve - Steve Harrington. I live next door.” He pointed at the house next to you, “You see that window?” He gestured to the one directly across from your own, “That’s my room.”

You nodded, eyes narrowing into thin slits, “Alright, Steve. If your room is right across from mine, why didn’t you just stay up there instead of going through the trouble of pelting rocks at me?”

Steve stills for a moment, and you can physically see the gears turning in his head. “Um,” He stumbles for a moment, “Give me one second.” You can hear him practically sprinting back into his house, his sandals smacking against the ground as he goes, and you can’t help but snicker.

You’d be lying if you said that you didn’t find the twenty seconds you’d spent with the boy so far to be the most enjoyable of this whole week, but it had. It was almost strange to you - to be talking to a boy. All of your friends back home had been girls, and you mostly stayed away from the boys. To you, they felt like unknown territory. What did they like to talk about? What did they like to do for fun? Did they have any interest in a girl like you? Would they ever have any interest in a girl like you?

All of your friends had had a boy like them at some point in time, some of them had already had boyfriends! But not you. No, never you.

Boys didn’t look at you. Steve was the first to ever even show any interest in you at all. It made your stomach flutter.

Soon enough, the light across from you flicks on and you watch curiously as Steve stumbles across piles of clothes and other knick-knacks to reach you. He struggles with the window for a second, before it suddenly pops open with a slight screech.

“Hey,” He smiled, breaths coming out a bit heavy.

Your lips twitched upwards at the corners, “Welcome back.” You teased.

Steve slapped his arms at his sides and let his head dip to the side, his eyes rolling a bit as he did, “I’m sure you missed me.”

You furrowed your brows, “You were gone for, like, five seconds. And I don’t even know you. Why would I miss someone I don’t know?”

“Uh, because I'm super buff and attractive?”

A snort slipped from you at that comment, “Yeah, okay. Keep telling’ yourself that.”

“I will.”

There’s a short pause between the two of you, and you nibble on your bottom lip. You’d never been able to banter so easily with many other people before. It made you excited.

“Soooo, where are you from?” Steve asks, effectively breaking the silence.

You sighed and leaned your elbows against the sill, your chin falling atop your hands, “Pennsylvania.” You answered dryly.

Steve nodded and copied your actions so that you were face to face, “I’ve never been there. I mean, my dad has for his work, but I never have personally.” He rambles.

You click your tongue, “That’s cool.”

Steve nods slowly, “Why’d you guys move?”

“Are you interrogating me?”

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

You quickly shake your head, “No, I do. I just wasn’t expecting so many questions,” you chuckled, nervously tucking a stray piece if hair behind your ear, “Um, my dad got a new job here. Some bank job or something, I’m not really sure.”

Steve perked up, “My dad works at the bank too! Maybe they work together.”

You shrugged, “Maybe.”

Steve licked his lips and glanced down at the ground below you. The both of you were only on the second story, but the grass felt so much farther away then it really was. “You don’t seem very excited about it.”

You bit your lip, eyes darting across his tanned skin. The summer had done wonders on him, but you were sure the upcoming school year would fade it away. “Because I’m not.”

“Why?”

You gave him a look, “Would you wanna move away from all your friends?”

Steve paused to think for a moment. To him, leaving Tommy and Carol wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world. He could start over and ditch the reputation he’d built, but he knew that wasn’t the answer you were looking for, so instead he said, “No, I guess not.”

You gestured with your hand and huffed out a breath, “My point exactly.”

Steve shrugged, “Well, Hawkins isn’t all bad. It’s not like there’s monsters hiding out around here or something.” He joked.

You could help but laugh along with him. There was something about the way he always had something positive to say to make you feel better, or maybe that was just how you were observing him in the last ten minutes. “You’re funny, you know that?”

Steve scoffed out a laugh, standing back and crossing his arms over his chest in an attempt to look nonchalant, “Duh, of course I know that.”

You snickered, “Don't let it get to your head.”

“Too late. I can already feel my skull growing to accommodate.”

Your body shook as you laughed, moving your face under your hands to hide yourself. Steve mentally fist pumped at making you laugh like that, and he prayed he’d hear it again, and soon.

Once your laughter died down and all was left was silence, Steve asked, “Are you going to Hawkins Middle for school? Or did your parents enroll you in that Catholic place down the street?”

You shrugged, “Well, I’ve never heard of the Catholic place down the street, so I’m gonna say Hawkins Middle.”

Steve grinned, “Great! I go there, too. You can totally sit with me at lunch and stuff.”

“I’d be grateful to be allowed in your presence.” You tease, pretending to bow your head.

Steve just smirked, “I’d expect nothing less.”

You and Steve spent practically all night talking. He’d gone down to his kitchen at some point for a snack and came back upstairs with two bowls of chips. After many failed attempts, some including one of you nearly falling to your death, you were able to grab the chip bowl meant for you.

Once both of you were full and content, it was already nearing midnight. If your parents saw you up and talking to Steve, you’d be in so much trouble.

“I think I’d better head to bed.” You mumbled, a sad smile on your face.

Steve nodded and wiped his palms on his pants, “Yeah, me too.”

You didn’t want this to be a one time thing in all honesty. You really, really enjoyed talking to Steve, and you hoped he really, really enjoyed talking to you as well.

You opened your mouth to tell him so, but decided against it, so all that fell from your lips was a simple, “Goodnight, Steve.”

He gave you a sappy smile, “Goodnight…” His eyebrows furrowed and he blinked excessively, “Wait, you never told me your name.”

He was right. You hadn’t realized it, but you never thought to tell Steve your name.

“It’s Y/N.”

Steve just chuckled and placed his hands above his head onto the window, “Goodnight, Y/N.”

❣︎

That following week had been filled with late night conversations between you and Steve. They’d always start the same - you’d be laying in your bed reading a book (you’d gotten your bed frame finally), Steve would throw something at your window, and then you’d talk and share a bowl of chips.

In all honesty, this tradition had become your rock. It felt like the one thing that was really yours in this new town.

That last night before the first day of school, Steve had seemed troubled, his brows crinkled and he wasn’t talking as much as he normally did.

“Whats wrong?” You asked hesitantly. You weren’t sure if you and Steve were at the point in your relationship where you could be open with each other. In all honesty, you were expecting him to say something like oh, i’m fine or nothing, why? But he didn’t, instead he said, “I’m worried about tomorrow.”

You furrowed your brows. Steve had been practically shouting from the rooftops how excited he was for you to meet all of his friends just two days before. “Why?” You asked, “I thought you were excited?”

Steve bit his lip, “I was.” He sighed, “But I went to this pool party at a friends house today and it just.. it reminded me of some stuff I’d forgotten about.” Well, that explained his fresh tan.

You weren’t sure how to reply to him. You didn’t want to push him or make him feel pressured to say anything, but you were also curious. “Was it.. was it bad?”

Steve sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “Honestly? Um, kind of.” He groaned, eyes shut as he tried to find the words, “Tommy and Carol… they’re not the best people. And I know that I shouldn’t be friends with them but,” he paused and rubbed the bridge of his nose. You wanted to reach out and comfort him. “I feel like I owe them, you know? I was a real lonely kid and they were the first people who ever made an attempt to get to know me, but now…” He trailed off, his forehead hitting the windowsill as he dipped his head.

You bit your lip, unsure of what to say. You didn’t know Tommy or Carol, the only things you knew about them were what Steve had said, which were only good things.

You crossed your knees, left heel popped as you nibbled on your lower lip in thought. If Steve really felt this bad about whatever they were doing, then the right thing would be to distance from them, but you didn’t know his situation. To Steve, he felt as if he owed them something, even though friendship isn’t something that should have to be repaid.

You sucked in a breath, socked feet tapping rapidly at the hardwood below you, “It’s okay to grow out of friendships, you know?” You mumbled. “It’s happened to me, and we both parted ways happily without some big, dramatic fallout. If you really feel that way about them, maybe it’s time you do the same.”

Steve was silent for a few moments, and you couldn’t help but feel badly for him. “Thanks Y/N, but…” He took a deep breath and shook his head lightly, “I just don’t think that’s something I can do. I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?”

You were a little shocked when he ended the conversation so suddenly, and were worried you’d said something to bother him. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

He chuckled softly, messy brown hair falling over his eyes, “Don't worry, It’s not you. But I've really gotta get to bed, okay?”

Unconvinced, you just nod. “Alright… I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Steve crashes into his bed with a muffled groan, pink lips pulled down into a frown. In all of reality, he’d gone to this party and boasted to everyone about his new neighbor. And instead of being happy and excited to have a new person in the group, Tommy and Carol had grimaced at the thought.

“What’s her name again?” She asked, legs crossed as she sat on the purple lawn chair.

“Y/N.”

Tommy snickered and leaned over to whisper something in Carol's ear, and she got that knowing smirk on her face. The one that practically dripped venom. “Oh, you little friend can totally hang out with us.” She said, tone heavy with sarcasm, “She seems just peachy!”

Steve’s stomach immediately twisted, his intuition practically screaming at him to realize it’s a setup, and to do everything in his power to keep you away from it.

“Come on, guys,” He grumbled, wiping a hand over his face as water dripped from his hair onto the concrete below him, “will you please just be nice?”

Carol crossed her arms over her chest and pursed her lips, “What makes you think we’re not gonna be nice to her, Stevie?”

His nose scrunched at the nickname, anytime Carol called him that he knew he’d struck a nerve. “I’m not trying to say you won’t be, it’s just… I really like her and I don’t want her to stop talking to me if you guys do something.”

Carol snorted, her red hair falling over her shoulder as she did, “You like her? You don’t even know her!”

Steve’s cheeks flush a bright pink as he sinks further into his chair. Yes, it was true that he’d grown the tiniest crush on you during your late night talks, but he couldn’t help it! You were so kind and soft-spoken, and you always knew how to make him laugh. And the fact that you were one of the prettiest girls he’d ever seen was just the icing on the cake. How could he not fall the smallest bit in love with you?

That next morning you’d been practically shaking in the car. Your mom assured you over and over that it’d be a good day and you’d make lots of new friends, but it wasn’t that you were nervous about.

Sure, school without friends sucked but you could live just fine without them. No, you were worried about Steve. He’d been worried about something his friends had said, and you had a sinking feeling it had something to do with you.

As soon as you stepped foot onto campus you were immediately looking for Steve. You’d seen him leave his house a couple minutes before you did, so you assumed he was already here, you just weren’t sure where.

You swallowed as you walked through the crowded halls. There were groups of girls reuniting after summer vacations spent in Europe, guys with tan skin and even brighter eyes, but no Steve.

You get through your whole first period class with zero sign of the brunette boy, and it’s not until you’re halfway to your second do you catch a glimpse of him. His back is turned to you, but you could recognize that laugh anywhere.

Shyly, you walk up to him. You can see he’s with a freckled boy and red headed girl, who you assume are his friends, Tommy and Carol.

Carol notices you first, and she eyes you up and down with precision. She smacks on her gum before she nudges Tommy and gestures her head in your direction.

The both of them stare at you for so long that by the time you even make it to Steve’s side he’s already turning to face you.

Surprise flashes on his face, but it’s soon replaced with happiness, and then something you can’t quite read. The smile on his face is strained as he says, “Y/N! Hey!”

You give him a small wave back, nerves crawling up your spine at the hungry look Carols giving you. Like you’re her next meal.

“Oh my gosh!” She practically squeals, grabbing your arm and forcing you closer to her. You nearly stumble to the ground from the force but Steve grabs your shoulder and steadies you. “Steve told us so much about you!” She leered, well manicured hands hugging you close to her body.

You pushed away from her gently, uncomfortable with all of the attention, “Oh. That’s nice.” You glance at Steve to try and get a read from him, but his face is blank. He meets your gaze apologetically and crosses his arms over his chest, “Leave her alone, Carol.” He mutters.

Tommy flashes his teeth with a hateful grin, “Oh, come on,” He snickers, “we just wanna know your girlfriend better.”

“She’s not my girlfriend!” Steve defends, eyebrows furrowed in frustration.

Carol rolls her eyes at him and then turns her attention back to you, “Look, why don’t you eat lunch with us today, hm?” She asks, batting her lashes.

Your eyes dart to Steve. You don’t want to invade his space (even though he’d said you could eat lunch with him days ago), and you can tell he’s clearly uncomfortable with the way Tommy and Carol are acting, so you attempt to say, “Oh, I don’t think-”

Carol cuts you off, “We’ll see you there, okay?” She draws out the syllables in the okay, linking her arm with Tommy’s and then walking away without allowing you to answer.

You and Steve watch them go, and you begin to bite your nails, a nervous habit you’d been trying to break. “I didn’t mean to-” You begin, hoping Steve isn’t too angry with you including yourself like this, but he just shakes his head with a sigh. “It’s.. fine. It’s not like Carol gave you much choice.” He attempts to joke, and you let out an awkward laugh.

Steve eyes you, clearly unsure of how to release the tension surrounding the both of you, but the late bell does it for you.

You barely bid him a short goodbye before you’re reaching for the map in your back pocket and leaving Steve behind to stand awkwardly in the hallway alone.

He watches you leave, stomach flipping at whatever he knows Carol must have planned for lunch.

Unlike Tommy, Carol was calculated. Tommy would be mean on the spot, he didn’t really plan out any of the things he did, they more so just happened. But Carol, she’d plan them for weeks.

Once, she’d pretended to be friends with Jacey Collins for nearly the entire fifth grade year just so she could embarrass her at her birthday party. Steve doesn’t know what Carol did, but whatever it was, it was bad enough to make Jacey move schools.

So, yeah, he was a little nervous for lunch.

He was even more nervous every time he’d catch Tommy and Carol giggling with each other, both refusing to tell Steve what the hell they were talking about, and instead promising he’d find out soon enough.

By fourth period, their last period before lunch, Steve had had enough. Carol was whispering something in Tommy’s ear, casually glancing at Steve as she did. Finally fed up, steve smacked his hand on the desk and said, “Carol, whatever you're planning, just quit it, okay? Y/N’s a nice girl, and she doesn’t deserve whatever twisted joke you and numb nuts are planning.” He smacked Tommy upside the head, causing the boy to rub at the spot gently.

Carol glowered, her eyes thin slants, “If you really have that much of an issue with it, why don’t you go sit with your little girlfriend in the bathroom or something. I’m sure she’d love that.” She giggled with a suggestive wiggle of her brows.

Tommy cackled, “I could totally see her and Steve getting it on in the bathroom.”

Steve scrunched his nose, “Gross, man!” He shoved Tommy in his chair, and then focused his attention back onto Carol, “This is the only time I’ve ever asked you to do basically anything for me. So please, just this once, can you just be nice?”

Carols lips thinned into a line as she swung her feet back in forth in her chair, back resting against the plastic seat. “If I leave your little,” she pretended to gag, “girlfriend alone, what’re you gonna do for me?”

Steve should’ve known that Carol Perkins does not do anything for anyone unless there’s something in it for her. He shrugged, “Anything you want.”

A cheshire grin immediately spread onto her glossy lips, “Anything?”

“Yep,” Steve huffed with annoyance, “anything.”

She shared a look with Tommy, the both of them almost looked to be communicating with just their eyes. “Okay,” She suddenly slapped her palms onto her lap, “We want full 24/7 access to your pool for the rest of the summer.”

Steve immediately groaned and ran a hand through his hair. He couldn’t use the excuse that his parents would get mad at him because his parents were never home anyway and they knew that. That’s why she asked him, because she knew they could get away with practically anything there.

He’s tempted to say no, to refuse and let Carol have her way with you, but then he thinks about the soft smile you get on your face everytime he opens his window, and he knows there’s no way he could do that to you.

“Fine.”

“Really?”

“Mhm.” He already knows this is a bad idea, but he reminds himself who he’s doing it for. “The pool is completely yours.”

Carol squeals happily, immediately turning to Tommy to discuss what Steve assumes are the things they’ll do together, but he drowns them out.

All he knows is that you won’t have to be subjected to Carol’s cruelty, and that makes the whole thing worth it.

But, he should’ve known Carol would find a loophole.

By the time lunch came the knot that had formed in Steve’s stomach had disappeared, and he was actually excited to see you.

Tommy spotted you first, a yellow tray in your hand as your eyes darted across the room. “God, she looks like a puppy.” He snickered in Steve’s ear.

Steve shook him off, muttering a quiet shut up under his breath as he made himself known to you.

“Y/N! Hey.” You’d never looked so relieved to see him as you do now, your furrowed brows immediately relaxing. “Hi.” you murmured.

“Uh, I’ll take you to our table.”

You gazed down to his empty hands, “Aren’t you gonna get lunch?”

Steve couldn’t help but laugh at your words, “Oh, no. We never eat lunch here.” He gestured with his head to the rest of his friends, who were already sitting and were also without lunch.

Your gaze dropped down to your own tray, and you suddenly felt insecure. At your old school, you and your friends always ate lunch, you didn’t even know it was a thing not to. “Should I…” You trailed off, gesturing to the trash can. Steve immediately shook his head, “Oh, no! I mean if you’re hungry then you should eat.”

You nodded and squared your shoulders. Steve was right, no one was gonna care if you were eating lunch or not. It was just your insecurities speaking.

You gave him a genuine smile and let him lead you to the table, you sat next to him obviously, on the outside of everyone else.

Carol flashed a grin at you, “I’m so happy you decided to come! For a second there we thought you might run off to the bathrooms with the freaks!” She giggled. The comment made your stomach churn, but you were sure it was just some harmless joke, right? You forced a laugh, “Oh, no. I was just confused in the whole lunch situation.” You said, pointing to the empty spaces around them.

Carol hummed, pretending to be intrigued, “Oh, we never eat lunch here. It makes you gain, like, twenty pounds in just a day!” All of Carol's friends giggled, and that nervous feeling in your stomach suddenly came back tenfold.

“Oh,” You swallowed, “I didn’t know that..”

“Of course you didn’t, silly!” She eyed you up and down, “Actually, do you want me to throw that away for you? It’s probably a good thing you don’t eat that you wouldn’t want to..” She trailed off with a wince.

Tommy let out a loud laugh, “Yeah, no offense, but how often did you eat your other schools lunch? It kind of shows.”

“Tommy!” Steve shouted suddenly, “What the hell is wrong with you?”

To you, your body had never really been an insecurity for you. But Carol and Tommy’s comments suddenly have you folding your arms over your stomach in an attempt to hide.

Tommy pursues his lips, “It’s just the truth!”

Steve just scoffed and stood roughly from his spot, “Come on, Y/N.” You immediately followed him, doing your best to avoid Carol's smirk as she watched you walk away.

Steve led you into the empty hallway, hands clenched at his sides in anger. “God, I am so sorry. I should’ve known they’d say some dumb shit like that-”

“Hey, hey,” You shushed him, “It’s fine. You didn’t know. We did the right thing by leaving.”

The guilt still didn’t leave Steve though, because deep down he did know something was going to happen. He knew Carol wouldn’t stop just because Steve offered her something. And the thing about her was she was so subtle about it that it seems like she doesn’t know what she’s saying is mean, when in all actuality, she does.

“No, still, I shouldn’t have let you sit there.”

You sighed, “Look, maybe I just..” You swallowed, “Why don’t we just keep our friendship out of school, okay? I’ll find some friends on my own.”

Steve’s lips parted slightly, eyebrows crinkling together in confusion, “So I'm just supposed to ignore you?”

You shook your head, a smile tugging at your lips, “I’m not saying that. We just won’t go out of our way to see each other.”

Steve sucked in a breath. Doing that made it seem like he was ashamed to be friends with you, which was honestly anything from the truth. If anything, he was ashamed to be friends with them.

“I don’t want you to think…”

“I won’t think anything,” You reassured, “This was my idea anyway. And besides, this way we can keep everything more private.”

Steve took a breath and let himself soak in the information. You would still be friends, just not at school. Easy.

“Okay,” He said, “I’ll see you tonight then.”

June, 1986

Present Day

Getting a summer job at the bookstore was honestly one of the best things you think you could’ve done. After graduation, and the unfortunate mall fire at Starcourt which destroyed your job at The Gap, you’d been out of work and living with your parents.

For most people, nineteen is a normal age to be living with your parents, especially when you’re putting yourself through school like you are because you’re parents refuse to pay because you chose a local college instead of the prestigious one they’d picked out for you across the country.

Your parents were disappointed with your choices and you knew that, but you couldn’t bear the thought of leaving just yet. There were so many relationships you weren’t ready to end and so many things left unsaid with.. certain people.

Like Robin for example. You’d both met a couple weeks after your seventh grade year started. She was a year younger than you were, but she was still the closest friend you had outside of, well, yeah. Steve.

Yours and Steve’s relationship had grown much more complex as the years went on, and long story short, you didn’t talk to him anymore. It hurt too much to do so.

But, Bookish was almost like an escape for you. Most of the people that came in were either kids with their mothers, usually just beginning to fall in love with books just as you did, or they were elderly people who'd fallen in love with it way before you’d even been born.

Robin working there with you only made it better. She used to work at Scoops Ahoy in the mall, along with he-who-shall-not-be-named, but once it burned down she’d been left without a job just as you had.

She’d been over at your house during spring break, the both of you watching Footloose. You on your back, head hanging off of the edge of your bed. Robin rested her back against the headboard, shoveling another handful of popcorn into her mouth. “You know,” Her words came out muffled, so she paused to let herself chew the rest of her food. “That new bookshop or whatever opened a couple weeks ago. Maybe we should apply there.”

You readjusted so you were leaning back into your elbows, a slight raise of your brow. “Bookish? I just went there the other day.”

Robin nodded and popped another piece of popcorn in her mouth, “Did you see if they were hiring?”

You scrunch your nose, trying to remember. During your visit, you’d been too preoccupied trying to find the best book to purchase and hadn’t really looked. “I have no idea. But, if they're new, they probably have to be.”

Robin agrees with you with a nod of her head, and the both of you decide to finish out the movie and then drive down. Robin unfortunately doesn’t have a license, so that meant you were basically forced to drive her everywhere. Well, either you or Steve.

Robin used to hate Steve, even while you were friends with him. She was one of the only people who was aware of your friendship and what it had turned into, and she constantly reprimanded you for getting involved with a guy like that.

But, once they started working together at Starcourt, her view completely changed, but by that time you and Steve were already avoiding each other like the plague.

You glanced at the window, wondering if maybe Steve was on the other side. You hadn’t opened that window or even the blinds for over a year, too afraid of what you might end up seeing.

“Hey, you ready?” Robin asks, throwing her jacket on and leaning against your doorframe. You swallow, eyes lingering on the blinds before you turn to her with a smile. “Let’s go.”

And that was that. You’d both gotten hired nearly on the spot by the sweet old lady who ran the store.

Bookish was one of those places that made you feel like you were entering a different time. The floor was dark oak wood and the walls were linen, and it was lined with rows and rows of books. Some were neatly displayed while others just stacked messily.

It was June in Indiana, which meant all the electric fans were going and the AC was cranked as high as it could go, but the warmth still seeped into the building.

“It’s so hot!” Robin groaned, leaning over the counter dramatically, “I’m gonna melt.”

You snorted as you continued to organize the books in the fiction section, “It’s not that bad.”

Robin smacked her lips, “You say that now, and then you’ll turn and see i’ve become a puddle on the floor.”

You placed a hand on your heart in false sympathy, eyes closing as you imagined the situation, “That would be so, so completely horrible.” You sniffled, pretending to be sympathetic, then whipped your head to her with a teasing glint in your eye, “But maybe I'd finally be able to get some work done without that constant whining in my ear!”

She scoffed, pretending to be offended. “This is not whining! It’s complaining. There’s a difference.”

You grinned and pushed the cart holding the books back behind the counter, “Doesn’t seem like it to me.”

She just rolls her eyes, slumping back into the counter with her head resting in her hand, “Whatever…” She trails off, eyes wondering across the building, and then she gasps suddenly, “Oh, shit.”

You turn to look at her, eyebrows crinkled, “What's wrong-” She cuts you off by basically pushing you to the wall, her hand covering your eyes.

“What the hell, Robin!” You huff, pushing on her arm in an attempt to release yourself form her hold.

“I am so, so sorry.”

“What are you talking about-” You’re finally able to push her away from you, her arm falling to her side as you blink in an attempt to get used to the lighting again. “Seriously, what is wrong with you?” You question, wiping your hands on your dress.

Robin bites her lip and stares right past you towards the front door, her eyes slightly wide.

You like to think that after so many years of knowing Robin you’ve become an expert on her body language, and right now it was practically screaming one thing. Panic.

Hesitantly, you allow yourself to look towards the front where Robin was staring. Honestly, based off of the look on her face you were expecting a monster or maybe even Tammy Thompson to be standing there, but the reality is much worse.

“What the hell is he doing here?”

Steve Harrington is casually conversing with Mrs. Beck, the old lady who runs the bookstore, like he’s known her for years. He’s got that soft smile on his face he always got when something made him happy, and his hair has grown a little since the last time you saw him. His face looks freshly shaven, and he’s wearing that god-awful bright yellow sweater you’d told him to burn years ago.

“I can explain.” Robin stammers, hands coming up to tug at her shirt the way she always does when she’s nervous.

You scrunch your nose and force yourself to turn away from him. It should’ve been a no-brainer that Steve being here had something to do with her, because you don’t think you’ve ever seen the boy pick up a book willingly his entire life.

You point an accusing finger at her, “What did you do?”

Robin swallows, jaw opening and closing as she tries to find the words to defend herself. Finally, she lets out a loud huff and smacks her hands against her sides, “He needed a job! Keith fired him over at Family Video because he was apparently “stealing all the hot ladies from him”, and I told him to come here without thinking! I promise I immediately regretted it and I tried to talk him out of it but it was like he pulled the application out of thin air!”

You rub your temples in an attempt to calm your budding nerves. You didn’t want to be angry with Robin because she didn’t deserve your anger for offering her friend a job, no matter what your history with said friend is, but you couldn’t help the growing irritation in the pit of your stomach. “Why didn’t you at least tell me? Then I could’ve at least prepared myself!”

Robin stutters over her words, hands gesturing wildly, “Because I knew you’d be mad!”

“I’m not mad!”

“Mad about what?”

You’re almost surprised Steve has the audacity to join the conversation so casually, as if you were still the best of friends who talked every night.

You swallow and squeeze your hands into fists at your sides until your knuckles are a pure shade of white. Robin just stares at him with parted lips, eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Uh,” She swallows, allowing herself to steal a glance at you, who has since paled significantly, “Nothing.”

Steve lets out a huh, his eyes lingering on you, who hasn’t had the courage to turn around and actually look at him, instead leaving him to stare at your back. Steve doesn’t mind though, a little bit of you is more than enough for him.

The three of you are at a stand-still, everyone waiting for one of you to make the first move, for someone to speak, to shout, scream, anything.

But you can’t move because this is the first time you’ve heard his voice in over a year. It's still smooth as butter and music to your ears. It’s the first time you’ve smelt his cologne, pine and oak but still with a hint of the ocean. It’s the first time you’ve been near him, and it hurts.

It hurts because you can’t help but wonder about how different your life would be if Steve hadn’t screwed everything up, if he hadn’t said what he said or did what he did.

The back of your throat begins to ache with an onslaught of tears fighting to be let out, but you swallow them down. You refuse to shed any more tears over him.

“What’re you doing here, Steve?” Even his name hurts to say.

“Robin, uh, she told me Mrs. Beck was hiring and, well, I needed a job..”

You finally whip around and face him, your hair following you as you do and harshly slapping against your face, but you ignore it. “That’s the only reason? I find that a little hard to believe.” You mumble the last part, eyes narrowing as you stare at him. Steve hadn’t realized how much he missed your glare.

“Yeah, it is. Why do you wanna know?” He asks with a suggestive taunt, almost as if he’s daring you to take the bait. You know how his mind works though, so you don’t fall for it.

“I just didn’t know if you finally decided you wanted to learn how to read s’all.”

Steve can’t help the smirk that grows on his face. “I was hoping you’d teach me, actually.”

You scoff, a shiver running up your spine in disgust. Of course he’d say some stupid shit like that, he always knew how to get on your nerves. “In your dreams, Harrington.”

Steve grinned, a snarky remark begging to spill from his lips, but you don’t let him. Instead, you flip him off and nearly jog into the back room, your legs shaking as you go.

Robin can’t help but feel concerned as she watches you leave, seeds of guilt already beginning to grow in her stomach. She furrowed her eyebrows and smacked Steve on the back of the head, causing him to let out a sharp yelp. “What was that for?” He grumbled, hand reaching back to nurse the spot.

“What was that for?” Robin mocked, nostrils flared as she pointed an accusing finger at Steve, “You said you were gonna try and win her back! Newsflash buddy, but making her even more angry than she already is isn’t gonna do that!”

“I know that!” Steve defends, “I know what i’m doing, okay? Just trust me.”

Robin was really beginning to regret this.

❣︎

March, 1981

By the time you and Steve started your freshman year of highschool you’d gotten involved in completely different social circles. Steve stayed with all of his popular friends, and was rapidly climbing the highschool food chain. You on the other hand, well, you were doing the opposite.

You weren’t exactly a weirdo per se, but you definitely weren’t cool enough to be associated with any of the popular kids, and that was completely fine with you.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry, but there is no universe where Queen is better than The Beatles. It’s just not a thing!”

“You’re just uneducated! Freddy Mercury is a musical genius!” You argue, pelting a potato chip across your window. It nearly hits him, but loses speed and falls to the grass instead.

He chuckles and leans back in his desk chair. You and Steve had both long since decided to just leave your chairs next to your windows, it only made sense since you spent hours talking each night. “I’m not saying he isn’t, but you’re forgetting about Beatlemania. Last I checked, there was never a thing like that for Queen.”

You groan and cross your arms over your chest, eyes flickering to the Queen vinyls on your shelves. “Just admit you’re wrong so we can move on, please.”

Steve is stubborn. He knows that on all levels, The Beatles are better than Queen. But you have that pleading look on your face, the one with the puppy dog eyes. The one Steve has never been able to say no to. He sighs and throws his head back, a lopsided grin on his face as he admits, “Fine, Queen is better.”

You smile gleefully and cross your legs, “Was that so hard?”

No, it wasn’t. If you looked at Steve like that and asked him to move the world, he’d do so without breaking a sweat.

“Yes, actually. It made me nauseous.”

“You’re such a baby.”

You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t spent these last two years falling in love with Steve Harrington. How could you not when he made it so effortless? Honestly, you didn’t even notice it was happening until one day you looked at him and suddenly it was like the stars aligned in front of you.

Sometimes, you’d catch yourself staring at him for too long at school and would have to physically rip yourself away and back to whatever lesson the teacher was babbling about or whatever rant your friend was on. He was just so… distracting. Especially now that he’d joined the swim team and had begun to fill out his clothes.

But, you could never have Steve. There was too much on the line. The most obvious being your friendship, and that was something you just couldn’t risk losing. It meant too much to you. But, sometimes you still let your mind wonder. You’d let yourself dream of kisses on cheeks, of love confessions done under covers and milkshakes shared over dinner.

You’d always have to stop though, because thinking about it for too long just made you sad.

The obvious fact that nobody outside of your family and Robin knew of your friendship with the boy was also a big problem with this fantasy. You knew how Steve’s friends were. If he began dating you secretly and suddenly stopped being interested in typical, well, boy things, it’d bring up questions that Steve couldn’t answer.

So the general consensus here was that Steve Harrington was off limits for the foreseeable future.

“What're you thinking about in that big brain of yours?” He asks softly, pushing a stray strand of hair out of his face.

You swallow, embarrassed to have been caught but also unsure of how to approach the question. “Nothing. Just.. thinking about this project for school.”

“What is it? Maybe I can help.”

You snorted. Steve was a lot of things - beautiful, funny, athletic - but helpful with anything school related? Absolutely not. “I doubt that.”

“No, seriously,” He straightened in his chair a bit, hitting the backrest comfortably, “hit me.”

You chuckled awkwardly, eyes avoidant. In all actuality, there wasn’t any project, it was just an excuse you made up on the spot. But, maybe you could play this in your favor.

“Well, we read this short story about this girl who’s in love with a guy she can never have, and no matter how many solutions she comes up with in her mind he will always be off-limits from her. We’re supposed to come up with a solution for her to show that, like, nothing is impossible, I guess…” You trailed off at the end, rubbing at your arm uncomfortably.

Steve made a strange noise in the back of his throat, crossing his arms over his chest as his eyebrows knitted together. You could practically see the gears turning in his head, and sucked in your bottom lip nervously. Would he know you were lying?

“That’s a weird project.” He mumbles, completely unaware of your wide eyes. “Uh, yeah, it is.” You stammered, the confused look on Steve’s face made you realize how stupid this was, and you immediately go to discard the entire thing, “Just forget it, It was stupid anyway-”

“I’d tell her to just go for it.”

Your mouth goes dry, “What?”

“I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? He says no? And what if that guy really does like her back, what then? She’ll never know if she doesn’t tell him!”

Your stomach practically explodes in nerves, and you're unsure of what to say. Steve’s looking at you expectantly, but all you can focus on is that one short phrase. She’ll never know if she doesn’t tell him.

It was true, but was it really that simple? No - it’s not. The risks are too great, and sure, Steve makes it seem so easy, but it’s not. Nothing is easy when it comes to your feelings for him.

The one thing you were almost certain of was that Steve doesn’t love you like you love him. It was obvious in the constant stares at prettier girls, with fuller figures and whitened smiles. It was obvious in the kisses he’d share with them behind bleachers, hidden away from prying eyes. It was obvious in the way he’d gush to you about his latest crush, of how beautiful they were and how in love he was. And the funny thing? They were always the opposite of you. More outspoken and confident - not afraid to show a little skin. Something you were envious of.

“But.. What if she does know? And she can never tell him because she knows he’ll reject her and then everything between them will never be the same again?”

Steve is a little surprised by your question, and he begins to feel nervous under your piercing gaze. Why were you asking him this? Did you.. did you know? There was no way you did - he always made sure to keep his feelings hidden away anytime he was with you. He’d fight down the blush, push away the longing - all of it. In all honesty, he was starting to question if this was for a project in the first place.

At first, your project had hit a little close to home, but he didn’t let himself overthink it. But now, his mind was practically swarming with uncharted waters he’d always ignored.

But, still, he amuses the question. “Maybe their relationship will change into the way she wants. She can’t assume the guy doesn’t like her just because he doesn’t show it. Maybe it’s there, and he’s just really good at hiding it.”

You no longer enjoyed this conversation. Now it just hurts - because Steve doesn’t even know what he’s doing to you. He’s giving you hope, and that’s a dangerous thing to have. It was something you couldn’t let yourself have.

You needed to get away from this conversation and honestly just let it die out. You needed to breathe in the fresh air, finally let yourself take a full breath instead of this constricted, shallow breathing you were currently experiencing.

“Do you wanna go for a bike ride?”

Steve snorts, shoulders rising and falling as he does. “Now? It’s almost midnight and we have school tomorrow -”

“I’ll go by myself then.” You’re already slipping in your tennis shoes before Steve can even argue, throwing a jacket on to protect yourself from the cold night.

Steve nearly jumps out of his chair, brown eyes amused and a smile tugging on his lips. Usually he was the one forcing you to sneak out with him, so this was a nice change of pace.

He meets you outside, watching as you wheel your light blue bike away from the side of the house and to the driveway.

“Where are we going?” He asks, throwing a leg over his own bike and gazing at the soft smile on your face.

“Anywhere.”

That's how you both find yourselves now, wide smiles on your faces as you ride through the quiet town. You were used to the quietness of Hawkins, but not like it is now. There’s not a soul in sight, the only thing illuminating the road in front of you being the yellow street lights.

Eventually, you find a nice hilltop to stop at, and the both of you practically collapse onto the grass.

You’re panting slightly from the ride, but you don’t even care. All you can focus on is the starry sky, thousands of different constellations making themselves known to you.

Sometimes, you think Steve is like a constellation. Beautiful to look at and widely studied, but untouchable. Only a select few got to go up and be with the stars, and you weren’t one of them.

“It’s beautiful out here,” You whisper, hands intertwining on your stomach comfortably.

Steve gazes at the side of your face from where he lays next to you, hands behind his head. “Yeah,” He breathes, forcing his gaze away from you and to the stars above, “It really is.”

You’re not sure how long you’re out there with him, you just know by the time you get back home you’re exhausted.

You and Steve barely spoke a word to each other that whole time, only occasionally pointing out a star that shined brighter than the others or made a funny shape.

But, as you collapse onto your bed and drift into a dreamless sleep there’s one thing you’re sure of.

You are in love with Steve Harrington, and you think you always will be.

❣︎

June, 1986

You’ve chosen to completely ignore Steve, even when he attempts to talk to you. You’ll simply stick your nose farther into your book and walk away from him.

You’ll give him some grace though, because he never takes your rejection harshly. He simply watches you walk away with a sigh and turns to talk to Robin about something.

Robin watches you turn tail and practically run away from Steve for what feels like the thousandth time this week, and she’s had enough. “Steve.”

He turns to look at her lazily, hip resting against the counter top and arms crossed against his chest. He’d attempted to ask you what you were reading today because he noticed it was different than the one he’d seen you with for the past couple of days, but as soon as you saw him approach you shot him an icy glare and walked to the other side of the store. He could see you now, sitting in the window nook comfortably.

“I’m not sure if you’re noticed, but you’re not really making any progress here.” Robin scolds in a hushed voice. She wants you to be happy, and for the past year you’ve been anything but. She’s had to comfort you through too many crying sessions, had to stay over because you couldn’t be alone way too many times, and had to watch you close those blinds for the last time and never open them again.

Robin remembers how you were before Steve went and messed everything up, and she selfishly wants that back. Don’t get her wrong, she still loves you more than life itself, but she knows what you’re like when you’re happy, and right now this is not it.

Steve crosses his arms over his chest, “I know that, Robin. But she won’t talk to me.”

She scoffs, “Can you blame her? You broke her heart! Personally, I wouldn’t talk to you either after something like that.”

Steve stares at the floor in front of him, shifting his position so his back is leaning against the counter instead of his hip.

Steve hates thinking about how he treated you during your senior year. Actually, he hates to think about how he treated you nearly all of highschool. You didn’t deserve it, and you were an angel for putting up with it. But, sometimes angels get pushed too hard.

He still remembers the tears that stained your cheeks as you begged him to explain himself, remembers the hoarseness in your voice as you screamed at him to leave. But, he thinks the thing that hurt the most was watching you close those blinds for the last time.

That was when he knew it was over. Anytime you’d argued in the past you’d always kept the blinds open, it was almost like a peace offering, like your silent way of telling him you guys would be okay.

“I don’t…” He swallows, “I don’t know how to fix it.”

Robin can’t help but feel sympathetic for him. She understands why you refuse to talk to him, hell, she’d probably do the same thing. But, she also knows Steve and she understands how much he regrets his decisions back then. She knows how heavily he was influenced by the people around him and the constant pressure to be King Steve.

“You need to show her you’ve changed, not just tell her. I could tell you I had a boyfriend but once you saw me kissing a girl you’d know I wasn’t being truthful.”

Steve can’t help the snort that slips from him at her comparison. But, he knows she’s right. What good is it to sit here and preach to you that he’s a changed man if he doesn’t do anything to prove it to you?

You on the other hand couldn’t even focus on your book. You’d reread the same page twenty times in the last five minutes, and you still had no idea what was going on! Steve was too distracting - and not just because you hated him.

You didn’t want to admit it to yourself, but sometime in the last year you’d forgotten just how attractive Steve was. The moles that dotted his neck like they’d been crafted by Aphrodite herself, and the way his eyes glimmered a honey brown whenever the sun shined on them. His lips, so pink and sculpted to fit the frame of his face. And don’t even mention his muscles or you might just faint on the spot.

You steal a glance towards him from the corner of your eye, watching as he talks with Robin about something you can’t make out. His head is hung low though, so you can assume it’s nothing good. Maybe she was lecturing him for bothering you, and if you were lucky he’d finally listen.

But, unfortunately luck never seemed to be on your side, and he’s approaching you faster than you can run away. “Y/N.” He has you cornered, your back against the window as you glare daggers at him. What the hell did Robin say?

You refuse to answer, instead choosing to go back to pretending to read your book. Steve doesn’t say anything, he just places his hands on his hips and stares down at you.

You're stubborn though, so you refuse to look at him, no matter how badly you might want to. Steve, seemingly getting the hint, just lets out a loud sigh and says, “I’m going to get food from Bennys, do you want anything?”

Fuck. You loved Bennys. But, you didn’t want Steve to let you saying yes get to his head, so you just let out a harsh no.

“You haven’t eaten since you got here four hours ago, that’s not healthy.”

“I’m not hungry.” You respond dryly. Glancing up at him through your lashes. His lips are pursed and he’s got that look on his face he always gets when he’s annoyed. He shrugs, “Suit yourself.” And then leaves without another word.

For a moment, you’re almost shocked. You’d expected him to fight with you more about it, but you’re not mad that he didn’t.

You practically shoot up and beeline for Robin, who’s already gazing at you like she’s been prepared for this. “God, I hate him!” You groan, rubbing the bridge of your nose.

Robin snorts, hopping onto the countertop and picking at her nails, “Because he offered to buy you food?”

You shoot her a glare, “Because he’s pretending nothing happened between us.”

Robin chews on her bottom lip, glancing up from her chipped nails to a fuming you. “I think he’s just trying to be nice.”

“Since when were you his biggest defender? You were begging me to leave him not even two years ago!”

Robin winces at the memory. It was true, she used to absolutely loathe Steve with everything in her, but that was before and this was now. People change - and Steve Harrington was a prime example of that.

She stays silent, knowing there’s nothing she can say at this current moment that’ll make you feel better.

You force yourself to take a deep breath and lay your forehead onto the counter top, elbows wrapping around your head as you do. You’ve been arguing with yourself on where you stand with Robin lately. On one hand, she’d deliberately offered the one man you couldn’t bear to see a job at the one place you’d felt safe from him without even asking you first, and essentially ruined it for you forever. On the other, she was just a girl helping someone she loved get a job somewhere that wasn’t a shit hole like most of the places in town.

It just wasn’t fair that that place has to be here.

You sigh, squeezing your eyes shut, “I just need a second by myself. I’ll come back out if things get too busy.”

Robin just nodded, eyes glued to the floor as you walked past her and into the employee area.

Robin knows you have every right to be mad at her right now, but if risking your friendship was what it took for you to be happy, she’d do it everyday.

By the time Steve gets back the sun has already started to sink below the clouds, and there was only an hour left of your shift.

You were still in the back room, eyes puffy and red with the remnants of tears. It embarrassed you to admit, but you’d let a few tears and sniffles escape you. You were just so frustrated with your situation.

Steve walks behind the counter nonchalantly, large hands reaching into the white plastic bag and pulling out three styrofoam boxes.

Robin furrows her brows at this, only expecting two. “What’s the third one for?”

Steve’s silent for a moment, a ghost of a smile on his lips. Did you really think he was gonna let you go hungry? He knows you - knows you love Bennys like you love breathing. It’s the only reason he got it.

“Y/N.”

“But didn’t she-”

He shoots her a look that shuts her up as she realizes what he did. Her eyes crinkle as she smiles, and opens her box. “Do you want me to take it to her?”

Steve thinks for a moment about what you would want. Logically, he knows you would want Robin to bring it to you, but what would you have wanted before he screwed everything up?

“I’ve got it.”

He grabs your box in one hand and his own in the other, taking a deep breath before he pushes the door open with his hip. You're sitting there, arms crossed over your chest and nails between your teeth. A nervous habit of yours.

You look up, clearly expecting Robin, but your gaze immediately hardens once you realize it’s him. You push your chair out from under you harshly, it screeches across the floor as you do. You grab your jacket that hangs on the back of it and go to walk past him, but he blocks your path. “I brought you something to eat.”

“I said I wasn’t hungry.” You attempt to push past him, but he doesn’t let you. Instead, he gives you that knowing, motherly look of his. The same one he used on Dustin Henderson when he babysat him junior and senior year. “You haven’t eaten since noon, and,” He glances at his watch, “it’s almost seven, Y/N. Pretend it’s not from me, I don’t care, just please eat.”

You're at a standstill for a moment, the both of you staring at each other. You know Steve’s right, but you hate it. It makes you feel nauseous that he knows you so well.

Finally, after much hesitation, you finally sit back down in your chair. Your arms are still crossed and you’re refusing to look at him, but Steve can breathe easy knowing he’s finally getting at least something from you.

He sits across from you and slowly slides your box over to you, which you open lazily.

You wanted to yell at him to go - to leave you alone to eat in peace - but it almost felt nice to feel his presence again. If you focused on it long enough, you could almost pretend it was still that blissful time before senior year. When everything had been perfect.

Steve watches as you open the box and inspect the food carefully. He can tell by the way your eyes widen slightly that you’re surprised by what you see.

“Is this..” You trail off, heart constricting in your chest.

He nods, “You really thought I wouldn’t remember what you like? Please, give me a little credit.” He teases.

You never even knew he had it memorized.

A ghost of a smile plays on your lips, head flooding with memories of late winter nights spent at Bennys with Steve.

You allow yourself to glance up at him, cheeks flushing when you find he’s already staring at you. As soon as his eyes meet yours he smiles, a genuine, crinkle-at-the-corner-of-the-eye smile.

You eat in silence for the rest of your shift, but Steve doesn’t care. Being with you is more than enough.

❣︎

November, 1981

Sophomore year is difficult for you.

Your grandma died just three days before Halloween, and it hit you hard. Steve was with you nearly all the time, not even saying anything, just holding you as you sobbed.

He never quite knew what to say to make you feel better because none of his own family was in his life. As far as was concerned, you were the closest thing he had to that.

Today marked a full week since your grandma passed, and you’d just gotten home from the funeral. He could see you now through his window, laying on your back unmoving in your bed, black dress still heavy on your body.

You’re not even crying, just staring at the ceiling. You’d always heard that grief presented itself in thousands of different ways, but you’d never been subjected to it yourself until now.

Memories of your grandmother and her infectious smile played on repeat in your mind, and sometimes if you focused hard enough, you could pretend she hadn’t died.

Your eyes squeezed shut as you did so, replaying a memory of her from your eleventh birthday party. You’d been crying for some reason you can’t even remember, and she’d stumbled upon you on the floor of your bathroom.

“Oh, Hunny, what happened?” She cooed, closing the door and sliding down next to you. She winced as she did, her knees popping the whole way down, but she didn’t complain. She just threw an arm over your shoulders and pulled you into her.

“I-I’m scared.” You whimpered, hugging your knees to your chest.

“Of what?”

You sniffled and looked into her loving eyes, “You’ll think it’s silly.”

She chuckled, forehead wrinkling with the movement, “No, I won’t.”

You swallowed, scratching at your arm nervously. “Are you sure?”

“I’m your grandma, I’d never laugh at you.”

You swallowed, letting your forehead hit your knees solemnly, “I don’t wanna grow up.” You admitted.

She didn’t say anything for a moment, which made you feel even worse. Getting older was natural and there was nothing you could do to stop it, but it’d hit you that you were growing out of your childhood.

You’d never be as innocent as you once had been, and at some point in your life you’ll never be mommy’s little girl again. And you hated that you just had to accept that.

Your grandma sighed, fingers drawing shapes onto your arm, “I know it’s scary growing up,” She murmured into your ear, “but it’s also good for us. We learn more as we grow, and we get to experience so many new things. Take me and your grandpa for example, we met when we were twenty five. If I'd never grown up, I never would have met him and fallen in love.”

The mention of your grandfather put a smile on your face. He was a sweet old man with a dashing mustache and a love for your grandma so strong you could feel it without even knowing him.

“I guess you’re right.” You sighed, laying your head against her side. She always knew how to make you feel better, it was like her special talent.

That’s why her death hurt so much, because you’d been talking to her less and less the older you got. It wasn’t something you did purposely, but with the move and all the new things that were happening in your life calling her had just never been at the top of your list. Now you wish it had.

You don’t even hear the knock in your door, you only notice Steve’s there when he’s scooting into bed next to you. You welcome him calmly, automatically falling into his open arms. He strokes your back comfortingly, leaving a soft kiss on your hairline. “How’re you feeling?”

You make a noise in the back of your throat, a mix between a whimper and a groan that shatters Steve’s heart. He hates seeing you hurt like this.

“That bad, huh?” He mumbles, squeezing you closer against him.

You choke out a sigh, “I just wish I would’ve called her. I had every chance too and I never did. What kind of- of granddaughter does that?” Your eyes are brimming with tears again, a sob tearing from your throat as you press your face closer into Steve’s neck. He smells like home.

He doesn’t mind that you’re soaking through his white shirt, in fact he barely even notices. “C’mon, Sweetheart. There was no way you could’ve known, and blaming yourself isn’t going to make you feel any better.”

“I-I just… I just wish I would’ve been better.” You hiccuped.

Steve immediately shakes his head, “No, no,” He stands and takes your hand, gently forcing you to your feet, “You’ve gotta get outta here, no way staying in this room all day is healthy for you.”

You sniffle and glance around your bedroom. Its usual warmth feels cold and empty.

“Where would we go?” You ask, gazing at Steve as he wipes your tears with his thumbs. “Anywhere.”

That's how you ended up at Bennys. Steve had recently gotten his license so you no longer had to bike everywhere.

The cloudy sky combined with the glaring overhead lights must wash you out, but Steve’s not sure you’ve ever looked prettier. The black dress compliments you perfectly, and call him selfish, but he thinks the glossiness in your eyes accentuates them so nicely.

You solemnly drink a sprite, biting on the straw occasionally and leaving a permanent indent in the plastic.

You’d heard of Bennys, apparently it was a Hawkins staple, but you’d never been yourself before now. For how popular it apparently was, it's not very busy, just a few stragglers.

You can see the chief of police, Jim Hopper, and a few of his cop buddies in one corner, a couple in a booth across from them, and two old fishermen at the bar.

“I’ve never been here before,” You murmur, watching as Steve’s head lifts from the menu to look up at you. “I’ve only been once with Tommy and Carol,” He says their names with so much disgust it nearly surprises you, “and it was really good.”

You knew Steve wasn’t the biggest fan of his friends, which was still something you found pretty weird. Why be friends with them if you couldn’t stand them? But you also understood Steve’s situation. He had affirmed his status as King Steve at the beginning of the school year, when he’d fought Mitch Mikealson and won. Ever since then he’d gotten more cautious with being seen with you.

And, yeah, it hurts sometimes to see him pretend you didn’t exist. Before, he’d still give you the occasional wave or smile, but now he didn’t even spare you a glance. But, you’d always remind yourself it was fine, because only you got to have the real him. The soft Steve, who’s boyish charm and honeynut eyes made you melt everyday.

You let out a soft huh, glancing over the menu before finally deciding on something. A plain cheeseburger with a side of cheesy fries. How American of you.

After you’ve given the waitress your orders, you both sit in a constricting silence. Steve isn’t sure of what to say to you right now or even how to approach the obvious elephant in the room, but you could hardly even focus on that.

If there’s one thing your grandma's death has taught you, it’s that you can’t let time escape you. You’d pushed off calling your grandma for months, and then suddenly you couldn’t anymore. What happens if you put off telling Steve how you feel for him, and then suddenly you no longer could? Would you feel regret like you do now?

You think you’ve known Steve long enough now to decipher how he’d react. A soft rejection, but without a loss of friendship. You think things would continue how they normally do - maybe a bit awkwardly at first but, still, as they normally do.

Then you consider the other option, which you thought to be the less likely one. On the off chance Steve does like you back, then your entire relationship would change. Would he kiss you in front of his friends? Scream from the rooftops that you were his and he was yours? Or would he hide you away, protect his reputation from your influence?

You weren’t sure.

“What’s going on in that big brain of yours?”

You smile softly at the phrase, glancing up at him through your lashes. He's leaning onto his elbows on the counter, cheeks squished between his hands. You think he looks innocent like this, and a glimpse of his seventh grade self flashes in his eyes, a time before King Steve even existed.

“Just… thinking.” You murmur, playing with your fingers in your lap.

Steve frowns, assuming you’re talking about your grandma, and he says, “I’m really sorry, Y/N. You know I'll be here for you every step of the way, right?”

You warm at his words, stomach twisting in knots. “I know,” You breathe, “we’re best friends. We have to be there for each other.”

Steve's heart constricts at the phrase. Best friends. Was that what he’d always be to you? He wants to be so much more - he wants to sweep you off your feet, show you just how much he loves you. If real love is something teenagers can’t experience, then he’s not sure he ever wants to, because whatever it is he’s feeling for you right now is practically engulfing him whole.

“Yeah,” He smiles weakly, “Best friends.”

Your eyebrows knit at the solemn look on his face, watching as he swishes the straw in his drink with his fingertip.

“Steve-” You begin, but the waitress is approaching you with your food before you can finish. Steve’s grateful for the interruption, not sure if he’s ready to answer whatever it was you were going to ask.

He distracts himself with his food, and you do the same. You're not sure why, but something about the way Steve said best friend made you feel uneasy. Did he not think you guys were? Or did he… did he want something else?

You blink the thought away, forcing yourself not to think of it.

But… what if…

You think of your grandma, how the regret of not calling her filled your entire body until you could barely breathe. Did you want that to happen with Steve? No, you didn’t. So there was only one solution.

The moon is up by the time you get in the car, and you allow Steve to drive you to your spot.

The hilltop where you first rode your bikes to last year had become almost like a comfort place for the both of you. You went anytime either of you were upset, and you always sat in the same positions. You, with your hands laid comfortably on your stomach and him with his hands behind his head. It was basically a routine at this point.

But, tonight, it’d be different. Because you were either about to ruin your friendship with Steve forever, or start something you’d never be able to turn away from.

You’re both silent, but while Steve seems peaceful, you’re anything but. Your mind is running wild with what-ifs, and you anxiously chew on your bottom lip. Just do it, you think, just do it.

“Steve?” You mumble, placing your hands behind your back and sitting up. Steve follows your lead, an eyebrow raised as he does. “Yeah?”

You squeeze your eyes shut and pull your knees into your chest, dress riding up until its hem is at the middle of your knees. “If I.. If I tell you something, you promise you won’t judge me? And- and nothing will happen to our friendship?”

He laughs nervously, “What’re you talking about?”

Just do it, you chant in your mind, Just do it.

You suck in a breath, “I love you. A lot. Like- more than I think should even be humanly possible, and I think I always have. It’s like- like this weight in my chest everytime I see you, you know? Because you’re you and I'm, well, I'm just me. And I tell myself there’s no way you could ever love me back but then you started acting all weird in the diner and I just- I had to know.” By the end of your rambling you’re panting softly, refusing to even look at Steve. You're too afraid of what you might see.

But Steve feels as if an angel herself has just blessed him. You love him?

You love him?

He feels too shocked to even move, heart practically beating out of his chest as he stares at you. The moonlight brings out your features so nicely, and your lips just look so- so kissable.

It’s crazy. He knows it is. But he’s waited so long, and he’s not sure how many times he can imagine the softness of your lips before he needs to feel it. So he does.

He connects his lips with yours so fast you barely even register it. It’s a soft peck, barely even a kiss really, but it’s perfect to you.

He pulls away quickly, hand on your cheek as he stares into your eyes. Only half of his face is visible in the darkness, but it’s enough for you. Because you’re plunging back in like you’ve been starved.

It’s messy, with clattering teeth and wandering hands. You find purchase in his hair, tugging slightly, and he lets you, groaning slightly at the feeling. His hands ghost of your waist nervously, and you reach down and place them comfortably on your hips.

It should be sinful how good he tastes - like strawberries eaten next to the pool on a warm summer day. “S- Steve,” You gasp between his lips, barely able to get the word out before he’s immediately diving back in.

You indulge in it for a few seconds more, before you’re gently pushing him away from you. He pulls back completely, removing his hands from your waist in a panic, “What’s - What’s wrong?” He pants.

You shake your head, assuring him it’s nothing like that. You take a breath, “What does… does this mean that you..?”

Steve has a big dopey smile on his face, tucking a peice of hair behind your ear, “That I love you?” He mumbles, “Because I do. So much. More than I think you’ll ever know.”

It’s those words that confirm what you’d thought for the past two years. Steve is your soulmate, someone you were always meant to find. Suddenly, you’re thankful for the move. Something that had once seemed life ruining has been the opposite - it brought you to your reason for living.

“Then what does this mean for us?” You question.

It’s then that Steve realizes this might not be all great like he thought it would be - because Tommy and Carol were still in the picture. He couldn’t just walk into school holding hands with you as if they hadn’t spent every waking day making fun of you. He never joined, always choosing to stay silent during their tangents, but he never stopped them either.

He swallows, studying your face. Would loving you be enough for him? Could he throw it all away, the parties, the friends, the popularity - if it meant he’d be able to be with you?

He’s not sure.

But what if he can have both? The popularity and you. He’d just have to keep your relationship a secret just like you had been doing for years, it was that simple! But, he doesn’t want to ruin the moment with you right now and get into that. So instead, he kisses you slowly again and murmurs, “We'll figure it out as we go.”

❣︎

July, 1986

It’s been two weeks since what you called The Tolerable Act. AKA, the day Steve Harrington brought you food and also made himself more tolerable.

You wouldn’t be going out of your way to talk to him, but if he approached you you no longer ran. Your responses were always short - but they were responses. Baby steps.

Today, when you walk into work Steve is already there stacking books and organizing shelves. His eyes are almost immediately drawn to you, and not just because he loves seeing you - no, this time, he notices something.

He thinks his heart drops into his stomach for a moment once he sees the guy with you. You're all smiles and giggles, playing with the hem of your lacy white shirt.

Jason Carver stands casually in the doorway, arm thrown above his head as he leans over you. Steve can’t see what he’s saying from here, but whatever it is, it’s making you blush.

Steve’s not even sure what comes over him - but he’s dropping the rest of the books he was organizing messily onto the shelf and speeding over to you before he can even think it through.

Jason notices first, his eyebrows furrowing as he eyes him. Steve gives a tight lipped smile, brown eyes darting between you and Jason.

Steve never really disliked Jason - he was a nice guy. A little pushy at times, but overall he didn’t seem too bad. But, now, watching Jason flirt with you like he knew anything about you made Steve’s stomach twist in the worst way.

Jason didn’t know you. He didn’t know anything about you! Steve knew it was selfish of him to expect you to be hung up on him forever like he was hung up on you, but did you have to bring Jason here?

“Harrington,” Jason said sultry smooth, bringing his arm down and stuffing his hands into his varsity jacket. He’d graduated last month and was still wearing that thing? Steve thought that was a douchey move. “I didn’t know you worked here.”

Steve hummed, “Started a couple weeks ago.”

Jason smirked, “Still working at dumps like this place, huh?” He joked. Steve could see the intentions behind what he said - they were a poke at Steve still living with his parents and not making it into college. He glances at you, but you don’t say anything, instead choosing to keep your eyes on the carpet.

“Still wearing your highschool jacket in public, huh?”

Jason’s gaze hardened just barely, enough for you to not notice, but Steve did. They both just stared at each other for a few moments, almost like they were challenging each other.

“Jason -” Both boys tore their gazes away from each other and onto you, “I’ll see you tonight, okay?” You usher, silently pushing him out. Jason bent down to kiss your cheek, eyes never leaving Steve’s as he did.

Once he was gone, you turned around and tried to make your way past him to clock in, but Steve stopped you. “Jason Carver? Really?”

Your nostrils flared, eyebrows knitting together as you gave him a harsh glare. “Who I talk to isn’t any of your business anymore.”

“That guys a total asshole!”

“And you aren’t?” You retorted, “I’m not sure if you remember, but let me remind you that-”

He cuts you off with a sigh, large hand running through his hair. His shirt rode up as he did, and you had to force yourself not to look at his tanned skin. “I remember.” He mumbled, “But, at least I've tried to better myself. Jason hasn’t! And he doesn’t deserve you, you’re so much better than he ever will be. I can’t believe you don’t realize that.” He took a breath, studying your face.

Jealousy is something Steve wasn’t used to feeling when it came to you. He’d always known that you were his and he was yours, and nothing would ever change that.

But, watching Jason Carver pull all those little giggles and shy smiles out of you that he used to - it hurt more than he liked to admit. His dad would tell him to: “grow up, she's just some girl after all.”

But you aren’t. Steve doesn’t think you ever were.

“Stop doing that!” You choke out. You’re more than fed up “Stop pretending that you’ve changed and that everything is- everything is fine! You played me for years, Steve. And as soon as I'm back together again you just show up here and remind me why I-” You pause, eyes going glassy and nose turning a shade of red, “why I can’t love you anymore. And it hurts - God, it hurts - but, I won’t allow myself to fall apart like I did again. And Jason- Jason likes me. I know he does. So don’t fucking ruin this for me.”

Steve’s silent, arms crossed over his chest as he processes your outburst. He knows he deserves it and it’s something he thinks he needs to hear, but that doesn’t make it any easier. You played me for years, Steve. Did you really think that?

Still, against his better judgment, he watches you as you turn your back to him and stomp into the back room.

You finally let out the sob you were holding in as soon as you’re out of sight, back hitting the cold stone wall. You hate him. Him and his stupid, stupid face and his horrible jokes. You hate that he can make you feel so many inexplicable things with just one sentence - He doesn’t deserve you.

If Jason doesn’t deserve you, then who does?

You avoid Steve your whole shift, and it’s easy, because Steve avoids you too. Robin called out sick which meant it was just the two of you and that made things so much worse.

You can feel his gaze lingering on you every time the clock ticks closer to your date, and it sends a shiver up your spine each time. If it’s because of your nerves about seeing Jason again or your undeniable longing for Steve, you’re not sure.

Once Jason arrives, Steve watches from behind the counter as you take Jason’s hand and let him lead you to his car, a toothy grin highlighting your face.

He sighs, crossing his legs where he stands and leaning onto his forearms. He feels helpless, like he’s an onlooker in his own life, watching you pull farther and farther away from him and not being able to do anything about it.

Jason’s car pulls away, and you watch as Bookish disappears from your line of sight. It feels foreign - leaving Steve behind to go with another guy. If you’d told yourself two years ago this was what your relationship would become, you never would’ve believed it.

“So, what’s the deal with you and Harrington?” Jason asks, stealing a glance at you.

You chew on your lip, cherry chapstick lingering on your tongue. “We used to be really close, but we kinda just…” You swallow and play with your fingers in your lap, “grew apart.”

Jason hums, fingertips drumming against the wheel as he drives. “You guys seemed more than close back there.”

You’re stumped. You can’t understand why Jason is so interested in this topic, which is something you really don’t want to talk about with him, and understandably so. You think up a quick excuse, “He’s just protective.”

He scoffs out a laugh, “Protective? No, it was more than that. It was like he- he loved you or something.” He says it like there’s no way that could be true. Like The Steve Harrington couldn’t ever love a girl like you.

“I don’t know. Maybe. Can we talk about something else, please?”

Jason doesn’t say anything and just drives silently. He’d told you he was taking you somewhere special but didn’t specify after that - and as you watch him drive deeper and deeper into the woods you’re beginning to get nervous.

He parks next to Lovers Lake, turning in the radio and immediately shifting his seat back.

You’d heard stories of guys doing this - taking a girl out to hook up with and disguising it as a date.

He's leaning over right as you realize what this is, and you pull away quickly, head nearly hitting the window. “Jason, I thought we were going out?”

“We are. I just thought.. we could have fun first.”

You swallow. This was wrong, you knew it was. Didn’t you deserve to go on a real date like other girls do? What made you so different from them?

But… Maybe this was a real date. Maybe this was what other girls did. And if that was true, shouldn’t you indulge? You’d always been aware your relationship with Steve was different than most other highschool relationships, so maybe you were finally getting a taste of the reality.

You kiss him first, practically surging forward. It’s hard and sloppy. It’s too much. It’s wrong.

You remind yourself that this is what real girls do.

You kiss him harder, holding back the whimper that begs to escape from your throat as he slips his tongue into your mouth. He tastes like cigarettes and mint - nothing like Steve.

He pulls you by your hips over the center console awkwardly, your legs banging against the dashboard as you move, but he never breaks apart.

You settle on his lap, letting him push and pull you anyway he wants. He’s in no way soft - wandering hands never asking for permission as he slips them under your shirt. This is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong-

“Jason-” You breathe between his hungry lips, attempting to push away, but he grabs the back of your neck and forces you against him again. Your hands push at his chest hard, and he’s so shocked he lets you go.

“What’s your problem?” He pants, eyebrows knitted together.

You want to sob- because what the hell are you doing? Kissing Jason Carver in his car in the middle of nowhere? This is wrong. If this is what other girls do, then you don’t want to be like them.

“Can we-” You suck in a breath, shifting uncomfortably on his lap, “Can we just take a break? Maybe actually talk and try to get to know each other?”

He stares at you coldly for a few moments, blue eyes searching your face for something you’re not sure of. Then he’s laughing - as if you’ve said the funniest thing in the world. His chest convulses as he does, and he attempts to kiss you again but you pull away.

His laughter immediately stops and his face contorts into anger, his nostrils flared. “Are you kidding me?”

“Jason-” You attempt, but he’s pushing you off of him before you can get the word out. You land in the passenger seat uncomfortably, legs at an awkward angle but you feel too unnerved to move.

“You came onto me first!”

He was right, you had kissed him first. It was your fault he thought he’d be getting something else tonight. “I know and i’m sorry, but-”

He cuts you off with a laugh, tongue running over his teeth like a hungry animal. “I mean- there’s no way you’re being serious right now, right?” He asks, “Why the hell do you think I brought you out here? To talk? I thought you were smarter than that.”

Your eyes go wide, jaw hanging open as you process his words. Had you really been so stupid?

He points an accusing finger at you, “If you think any guy is going to want you beyond just fucking you then you’re in for a treat. Now get the fuck out of my car.”

“Jason-”

“Get out!”

So you do. You stumble a bit as your feet hit the grass, barely having any time to close the door before he’s speeding off.

The tears come before you can stop them, arms wrapping around yourself as you stare out into the lake.

The water makes the air feel cooler, so goosebumps form across your skin and cause a shiver up your spine. You don’t know how to get home from here - or to the bookshop. But there is one place you can think of.

You're not sure how long you walk, you just know by the time you reach the hill your feet hurt and your calves feel practically numb.

You collapse onto the grass with a soft groan, immediately hugging your knees to your chest. The tears had long since stopped and were replaced with occasional hiccups, eyes glassy but the tears never falling.

You stare up at the sky, finding comfort in all of the familiar constellations. Lately they’d been the only constant thing in your life, the one thing you knew would always be there and would never go away.

You hate that Steve was right more than you’d like to admit. He doesn’t deserve you, you’re so much better than he ever will be. What right did he have to say something like that to you? It makes you almost nauseous.

Steve Harrington had become something of an anomaly to you over the past year. You’d been told thousands of times that he’d changed by Robin - hell, Steve himself had been making an effort to show you that he’d never make the same mistakes he had again, but it was like you couldn’t accept it.

Your heart had subconsciously built up brick walls to protect yourself from ever being hurt like that again, and any mention of Steve Harrington threatened to tear them down.

You sigh, forehead dipping down to rest on your knees. You’re not sure how you’re going to get home, but right now it’s the last thing in your mind.

“Y/N?”

You’re head shoot’s up, neck craning to see the eyes of the person in front of you.

It doesn’t surprise you once you realize it’s Steve, because who else would be out here this late?

“Hi.” You mumble, head immediately going back to lay on your knees comfortably.

He sits down next to you cautiously, plastic bag falling next to him as he does. He subconsciously makes sure to leave enough distance between the both of you so he doesn’t scare you off. “Where’s your date?”

You close your eyes, breaths coming in shallow as you shift uncomfortably. Your head lols lazily to the side, allowing yourself to get a full view of his face. His eyebrows are raised and his arms are behind him and holding his torso up.

“Probably out being a douche somewhere.”

He chuckles, “That bad, huh?”

You nod, a soft smile playing on your lips. “Definitely wasn’t the best date ever.” Not like you had many to compare it to.

“I won’t say it even though I really want to- but just know i’m thinking it really, really hard-”

You roll your eyes, “Just say it.” You huff.

He doesn’t hesitate, “I told you so.”

You mentally conclude that Steve should not be allowed to be right ever. “What are you doing here?” You ask.

Steve’s gaze falls to the grass below, throat bobbing as he swallows. “I needed to clear my head.”

You hum in response and decide not to push it, instead letting your knees stretch in front of you as your hands fall behind you. Your eyes fall to the white Walmart bag next to him and you gesture to it with your head, “What’s in the bag?”

Steve reaches over and pulls out a six pack of cheap beer, the kind you drank when you were trying to get stupid drunk. “I wasn’t planning on having any company, so I hope six’s enough for you.”

You snort, watching as he rips one out of its packaging and hands it to you. You ignore the brush of your hands as you do.

It pops open loudly, and you immediately bring it to your lips, ignoring the burning in your throat as it slides down roughly. Steve does the same, and you both sit in a comfortable silence and drink your respective drinks.

You’re not sure if it’s the alcohol, but you can’t stop looking at him. Thoughts of how pretty he is run through your mind - but so do others. Like questions of how you became strangers who knew everything about each other so quickly.

“Do you ever wonder about what things would be like if.. if we hadn’t broken up?” You question quietly, eyes lingering on the side of his face.

He doesn’t move for a moment, lips thinning out into a line. He breathes in through his nose, “Sometimes I do. But every time I remember how things are between us I have to stop, because lying to myself almost hurts more than the reality.”

Your hands tighten into fists by your side, and you force back another gulp of the warm drink. “How did we even get here?” You suddenly laugh out, “It doesn’t even feel natural.”

Steve shrugs, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Honestly? I’m not really sure. Sometimes it feels like one day I was waking up with you and then the next I wasn’t.” Well, technically that is what happened.

You're not sure if it’s the alcohol that gives you courage, but you finally admit, “Sometimes I hate you for turning us into this.” You mutter, “Sometimes I hate myself for not trying to fix it. But, sometimes I think that is how things were always going to turn out - that maybe we were never meant to be in each other's lives and we somehow screwed up Gods plans and this is our punishment.”

“I don’t think he means it as a punishment.” Steve breathes, finally letting himself look at you, “I think it’s more of a lesson. A reminder, maybe.”

You snort, “Well, I hate this lesson, and I’m ready for it to be over.”

“Me too.”

You don’t argue when Steve scoots closer to you so your legs are touching, shorts rubbing against each other awkwardly.

You and Steve share an actual conversation - one without any arguing or resistance from you. It’s a conversation like you used to have.

You don’t argue when Steve offers you a ride home, showing that his beer is still half-way full. You don’t argue when he tells you good night, in fact you bask in it.

That night when Steve goes to bed, he watches your light flick on and your shadow approach the window. You stand there for a while - contemplating he thinks - and he hopes that you do it. That you open the blinds and show him that everything would be okay again.

But you don’t. You flick the light back off, and go to bed. Leaving the blinds closed.

taglist: @stevesxwhore @billielourdslays @carinacassiopeiae

[lonelym00n]

Max Fox x Reader - Headcannons

this is for all the max fox girlies out there. if you're a mikey madison fan and haven't watched better things just for her, shame on u.

this is likely going to contain max snippets from every season, so don't read if you care about spoilers.

GO WATCH BETTER THINGS!! seriously it's a really good show about a single mother raising three daughters.

also, LOOK AT BABY MIKEY. LOOK AT HER.

Pre-relationship

when max isn't with paisley or her boyfriend of the week, she's with you

you're the most chill of all her friends so she hangs out with you mostly when she doesn't feel like causing her mom an aneurism

sam loves you more than max's other friends

you always thank her for her hospitality and do the dishes for her if she cooks when you're around

max's favorite thing about you is that she doesn't feel the need to worry about if you think she seems cool or not

you love watching old movies with max because she always has such thoughtful comments on the cinematography

you always arrive early to her band's gigs just so you can cheer her on from the front row

you are max's personal Lyft driver when you get your license (sam is thankful that the bill has gone down significantly)

How you catch feelings

you fall for max first

your feelings for her start when she begins opening up to you about her dad and how much her parent's divorce has affected her

she tells you about the jealousy she holds for how much she has to share her mom with her mom's job and her two sisters

she also opens up about how she has no clue what to do once she graduates

you tell her that sam loves her just as much as she did before her sisters were born and that there's no rush to decide what path she wants to choose post-graduation

you realize your feelings for max when she surprises you by playing your favorite song on the guitar

the smile she gave you after she finished playing made your heart leap into your throat

you knew you had it bad for her after that

Unrequited feelings

you're too much of a chicken to admit your feelings to max because you don't want to ruin your friendship

you are horrified when she starts dating the 34 year old man, you tell yourself that it's not because you're jealous, but because max is only 16 (it's definitely because you're jealous)

max cried on your shoulder when she learned her dad had stood her up on her graduation day

you threaten to train chewy to bite him for the next time he shows up to interrupt her life

she laughs and your heart skips a beat at the sound

when max tells you about her decision to go to college in Chicago, you try not to cry (let's pretend you chose to go to college somewhere in LA)

you do cry when you drop her and sam off at the airport on their way to Chicago (cry is putting it lightly, you full on sobbed into max's shirt)

Other people notice your feelings

with max off at college, you have a hard time figuring out what to do with yourself when you aren't attending classes

you take to moping around the fox's house

frankie is the first to catch onto your feelings for max, after seeing you sniffle pitifully into a carton of ice cream for the third weekend in a row, they figured you must've loved max more than you let on

frankie doesn't say anything to you about their realization, concluding that you probably hadn't yet registered that you harbored more than friendly thoughts for max

sam doesn't question why she keeps finding you fast asleep on her living room couch, so she remains none the wiser about your love for her daughter

when max calls you crying one night and tells you about how she doesn't think college is right for her, it takes everything in your willpower not to encourage her to hop on the next flight back to LA

you tell her she has to make the decision on her own but that you will wholeheartedly support her either way

when she does return, you don't even hide how ecstatic you are

the pain of hiding your feelings for her does return, but it's nothing compared to how heartbroken you felt while she was away

when she starts dating olivier, you feel more depressed than you do jealous

max notices your more frequent sad moods and her heart pangs dejectedly whenever she asks if you're okay and you brush her off

you feel lost and decide to confide in rich about your love for max, you always thought he was such a good second dad to her

he isn't fully surprised at your feelings for the other girl, having sensed that something more was likely going on between you two

he's so happy that you decided to tell him and offers you words of advice that he had picked up from being in similar situations to yours

from that moment on, he's silently rooting for you and max to get together

Max realizes her feelings for you

with her new love for photography, she innocently invited both you and paisley to model for an idea that she wanted to shoot

paisley agrees excitedly while you agree with more reluctance

the pictures with paisley turn out great

when it's your turn, max is in utter awe at how gently your beauty comes across in the photos

you fit the image she had wanted to capture so perfectly and as she continues to photograph you, her heart thumps wildly in her chest

the slow groundbreaking realization of the love she so deeply holds for you creeps up her spine

she pushes you away the next week and the week after that, filled with panic

now that she has figured out how she feels about you, she knows she'll never be able to hide it from you

you feel hurt that max is avoiding you, but you figure it's because she's spending more time with her boyfriend (max didn't tell you that she had broken up with him directly after the photoshoot)

max tells rich about her feelings for you and he only just barely manages to hide his joy at the news

he reassures her there's nothing wrong with the way she feels about you and that her family would accept and support her regardless

after a week of gathering up her nerve (and a third week of avoiding you), she reveals her feelings for you to sam

sam is shocked but reassures max that she is so happy and proud

when max falls asleep for the night, sam rushes to frankie's room for advice on ways that she could be there for max

Confession

one morning, frankie urges max to confess to you

needless to say, max is pissed at sam for telling frankie

a big fight starts between the three of them (max upset with sam for telling frankie, sam mad at frankie for telling max that she had told them about it, and frankie yelling at max to just tell you how she felt)

you, completely fed up with being avoided by max, stomp into the fox household to give the girl a piece of your mind

the fighting comes to a halt when you walk in the door, frankie and sam quickly scurry away

just as you're about to speak, max gently grabs your arm and tugs you outside with her

she shushes all your attempts to talk and apologies for avoiding you

she looks nervous and so uncharacteristically max as she takes your hand in hers

when she tells you she was avoiding you because she realized she was in love with you, you nearly forget how to breathe

she looks at you so worriedly while she waits for your response

when you tell her you feel the same, her eyes crinkle in happiness

max leans closer and the two of you share a soft kiss

max lovers you better cause some commotion in the comments!! she needs more love and I won't be silent about it anymore!

[icycoldninja]

Hey there, I love your writing style especially for vergil:)

I have an angsty idea since you like angst.

Have you heard of the troupe where "the older person ruins the life of the younger one that they wanted to help." ?

I think vergil and the reader are meant for this dynamic lol.

Ayy, thanks, means a lot to hear that 💜 Though I haven't heard of that trope, I'm gonna do my best to do it justice, don't worry. Thank u for the ask, I do love angst. 🫠

Misguided (Vergil X Reader angst)

Vergil had to have been the most overprotective man you'd ever met. He hated seeing you sad, or even wearing a frown, and went to extremes to keep that from happening. He'd done his very best to protect you and keep you safe, but it seemed that what he did wasn't enough.

Or maybe, it was too much.

In order to keep you from ever having to feel sad or pressured, he scared away all your friends. In order to keep your life stress-free, he threatened and blackmailed your boss so you would receive lighter workloads. To keep you all to himself, he intimidated all the men in your life so no one would be tempted to take you away. To make sure you'd never die from an accident, he secretly sabatoged your car. To make sure you could never get robbed or assaulted, he stole your keys and never let you go out without him coming too. He also took control of all your affairs, from paying the bills to doing your taxes so you wouldn't have to worry.

Anything you could have possibly needed to do, he did for you. He took care of you the way a parent looks after a child, growing more and more possessive and jealous each day. He thought that he was doing you a favor; that taking on all the responsibilities was making your life easier, when in reality, it wasn't.

Your friends refused to contact you, your boss had fired you because he was afraid to give you work because he couldn't afford to pay an employee who did nothing, and no one you knew, even your family, would speak to you because they were afraid Vergil would come after them if they said something to make you feel bad. You now had nothing and no one except for Vergil, who insisted on taking charge of everything in your life. You felt so trapped, so alone and isolated.

Could you really be blamed you now that you wanted to leave?

"I'm sorry," You told him, tears running down your face as you dragged your suitcase to the front door. "I just can't do this anymore. I...I can't live like this."

"Why not?" Vergil demanded, gripping your arm in a fearful attempt to keep you from leaving. "You have everything here. What more could you possibly need?"

"That's the problem," You replied, furiously wiping your eyes with yor free hand. "I have everything here, and at the same time, nothing."

"What do you mean?" Vergil asked, his voice unusually quivering. "You are safe here. There is nothing that can hurt you. If you go out there, you will be alone. No one will come to help you."

"Exactly," You said, sniffling. "I'm alone. I have nothing. Thanks to you, I'm jobless, I have no friends, and my family won't even speak to me!"

"But you have everything you need here," Vergil insisted, tightening his grip on your arm. "You do not need a job, or friends, if I am taking care of you."

"But I don't want that!" You exclaimed, jerking your arm away. "I'm a grown adult, I can take care of myself! I don't need you to baby me! I want to live my own life and make my own decisions!" When you saw the shocked, heartbroken expression on Vergil's face, you felt a lump form in your throat. Swallowing hard, you spun around and unlocked the door.

"I'm sorry, Vergil, this...this is hard to say, but...it's over."

With that, you tore open the door and disappeared into the night, leaving the shocked, despondent half devil standing in the darkened hallway all alone.

Sinking into a nearby chair with his head in his hands, Vergil had to wonder what he'd done to have such a tragedy befall him. What did he do wrong? Why did you have to leave? He gave you everything you wanted, why did you still want more? Wasn't what he did enough for you?

What the forlorn half-devil failed to realize was that though his intentions were pure, his methods for carrying them out were horribly misguided.

[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

hi angel! i see your requests are open and if you’re up for it, i’d love to request an older!sinclair sister w our lover boy eddie? :) some angst for character development LOL and fluff? ♥️♥️♥️ thank u pookie

Mistakes were made but atleast we fixed them, sort of…

Eddie Munson x Fem!OlderSinclaire reader

[a/n] sorry this took longer than I’d hoped, I really tried to make it a balance between angst and fluff so I hope I did your request justice! Feel free to send more asks in the future, I’ve never written for Sinclair reader before this so it was definitely new to me, but I had fun! <3

Valen-Cries masterlist available here!

Request a Valen-Cries fic here!

Eddie had been your best friend for as long as you could remember, practically joined at the hip, so much so that it was uncommon to see you apart, until recently. With the cracks of your steadily crumbling friendship beginning to show, questions naturally arose from both your parents and peers. 

What you refused to tell anyone was the real reason behind this break, constantly spewing excuse after excuse when anyone broached the topic. It was unlikely anyone would hear what actually went down, with Eddie probably far too embarrassed to explain that you, his best friend was in love with him, and you mortified for even thinking he could feel the same.

In fact just thinking about it months later, your cheeks still burned with a mixture of hurt and rage, picturing the night you’d all but spilled your guts while he sat there half heartedly shrugging at your confession like you meant nothing to him at all. 

Poor Lucas had attempted to console you but was met with a cold pillow to the face the moment he entered your bedroom, quickly deciding it wasn’t worth possibly losing his head over some ‘girl drama’, or so he thought. However, it was also just your luck that the following morning he’d not only told Mike and Dustin but the entire Hellfire group, Eddie included.

For a while after the whole debacle you’d tried to remain just best friends with Eddie, truly believing that if he wasn’t interested in you romantically you could still salvage the friendship although, that proved more difficult than ever.

Which led you to now where you were stuck between the awkward and depressing limbo of wanting more but trying desperately to get over you know who, in an effort to go back to how it was before, if that was even possible. 

Poking around at the food in front of you as your family chatted happily about their day, zoning in and out of conversation had become the new norm. The numbness taking over once more until Lucas had let it slip that Eddie had a date with none other than Chrissy Cunningham, Hawkin’s princess. 

Of course he did, you’d thought. The bitterness beginning to take over as you thought of the numerous reasons Eddie would never be attracted to you and how you’d ruined everything. Excusing yourself from the table and going straight to bed, not that you’d be getting any sleep.

If only you’d kept your stupid mouth shut.

You weren’t sure how long had passed until the faint knock of the door echoed through the room, followed by the creak of the worn down door. “Hey y/n, I was thinking we could have a spa night this weekend if you’re up for it? You know how mom used to do when we were younger?” Erica shifted somewhat nervously. It was clear she didn’t want to anger you, with your mood changing faster than the wether nowadays, likely confused how the once close family dynamic had become to distant. 

Guilt weighed heavy against your chest, the urge to decline and simply wallow, outweighing a possibly fun and equally horrendous sister night. Desperate to think of an excuse but deciding to agree anyway for her sake. It wasn’t like you had anything planned either way, with Lucas and your parents going on date. 

The bonus was she might actually succeed with killing you this time, if her cooking was the still as you remembered.

—- 

Eddie knew it was wrong as soon as the thought entered his head, he just couldn’t understand how you could tolerate let alone be in love with him. Hell he’d be lying if he tried to deny the feelings he felt, yet he still choose to play the fool. He hadn’t anticipated the fallout would be quite this bad, with you avoiding him for the most part or pretending for his sake the confession was in the past and to be forgotten, and his conflicted feelings making him temperamental, for lack of a better word he well and truly was fucked.

How was he supposed to rely on you to protect his heart if he couldn’t do the same for you? So used to being the other person in any given situation, this was all new. Hell he’d have studied for this moment if it meant he’d have an answer with how to move forward, alas that wasn’t coming anytime soon.

Trudging up to the van like usual unaware that someone was following him until the crinkle of a snack wrapper sounded from behind, stopping him in his tracks.

 “Sinclair I know you’re there” Eddie had called before turning around to meet the sheepish grin on Lucas’ face.

“How did you know it was me?” The boy had sighed, munching away on his favourite snack bar which coincidentally was also yours. 

“Well apart from the obnoxiously loud noise you made opening that.” He’d pointed at the half eaten food “I also happen to know there y/n’s favourite and they’re the most annoying thing ever, especially when trying to plan a campaign.”

“Well anyway I need you to come to my house tomorrow evening.” Ignoring Eddie and continuing “and before you ask she’s not going to be home so don’t worry about that, she’s got a date.” He trailed off, watching something in the distance

“I wasn’t worried but okay…” Eddie muttered watching as Lucas suddenly ran off shouting at what he assumed to be the others to wait up for him

—-

Getting into your pyjamas and heading downstairs to see what chaos Erica was cooking up, literally, you hadn’t expected to be met with the person you’d been trying to forget, or at least just for one evening. 

“What are you doing here?” Looking around the otherwise empty kitchen confused “you’re supposed to be on a date?” You questioned

“No you’re supposed to be on a date.” Eddie echoed back as the sound of chairs dragging against the hardwood floor grew closer. 

“Neither of you are on a date but you are locked in, so sort whatever it is going on between you out now!” Your younger siblings shouted, clearly having planned tonight.

“By the way I know you both love each other so just admit it already.” Erica added, earning a thump before it grew quiet again. 

Unsure of how to comprehend her words, you simply pulled up a chair and sat down. You definitely weren’t going to start the conversation, hurt enough over the first time you’d talked argued about ‘this’.

“Look I’m just going to get straight to the point. I lied.” Eddie started, pulling up a chair near you and sitting “I do love-” the hesitation was enough to send you reeling, the urge to simply run, scratching away at your insides. 

“Fuck” he was pacing now “I’ve never said these words to anyone but I love you.” Breathing out without hesitation this time. “I know I’ve been shit at showing it and I don’t expect you to forgive me for lying and hurting you but when I heard you were going on a date something changed.” Now still and silent once again as he got down and looked at you for real this time.

“I lied because I thought you could do better than me. I mean I’m still in high school, barley passing and you’re in college with your whole life ahead of you. It wouldn’t be fair for me to hold you back, you know that.” 

“Eddie what the hell?!” You weren’t sure if you wanted to scream or cry at how dense he could be, you’d probably end up doing both “I don’t care about that shit, we’ve been friends for years and you didn’t think to at least talk to me about this?”

“You know I love you and you let me think you were basically disgusted at me?” Pausing as you pondered on your next words. “Don’t answer that.” 

Where words failed, actions came into hand. Leaning over and pressing your lips against his, savouring the faint taste of mint and tobacco that lingered, while cupping his cheeks between your hands. Now that you’d started you weren’t sure you could stop, understanding now what it means to be intoxicated by someone. 

Gasping for breath between kisses and hands grabbing at each other while the room grew hotter until you were startled by a bang.

“Hey! We’re still here you know.” Lucas shouted “also I’m still mad that you like him” It was now Erica’s turn to slap him playfully, prompting a spat between the two over who’d genius plan this was. Honestly you couldn’t care less now that you had Eddie back.

Little did you know that it was thanks to both Lucas and Erica meddling for this Valentine’s miracle. Although, that was an argument for another day. Erica insisting she knew was the head of operation Valentines.

[lyrakanefanatic]

I just realised that literally everybody in the inheritance games series is traumatized in some way ☹️☹️

nash: had to watch his mother neglect him and then continue giving away his brothers while he couldn’t do anything about it

jameson: his mother neglected him, he was manipulated by his grandfather to make him think that he was nothing, and the whole Emily situation

grayson: neglected by his mother, had to carry the weight of the heir apparent, was forced to be perfect and not show any emotion, the whole Emily situation and just so much more

Xander: again, his mom neglected him, and he was lied to about his father from Tobias

Avery: her mother died when she was 15, she was nearly killed like 3 times, she had to carry the weight of being the heiress, was used as a target by Tobias, and a lot more

Libby: was in a mentally and physically abusive situation, was stressed out a lot when Avery was written in the will but didn’t wanna worry her, was constantly at the blame of all her relationships, and gets used because she’s “too nice”

Max: was disowned by her parents and not even allowed to talk to her own brother, had no one to talk to about it because Avery was written in the will so she was completely alone, and didn’t want to burden Avery with all the stress she had because she was already in the will and everything, and since Avery was maxs only friend she had no one else to talk to about it. (I kind of repeated some stuff but whatever u know what I mean 🙄)

Rebecca: Was living in her sisters shadow, never really felt like she had her mothers love, was constantly overlooked by her mother, was never allowed to date the one person she loved because she was afraid Emily would find out, and was blamed for Emily death by her mother (🙁)

Thea: Her best friend died, was forced to fake date a guy because she thought Emily would disapprove of her real relationship, and all her concerns about the Hawthorne family were overlooked as she was forced to spend time with them when they were the only ones with her best friend the night she died (ik Grayson and Jameson didnt kill Emily, but she literally told everybody how much she hated the hawthornes bc of “what they did” and was completely overlooked)

Eve: Okay I know everybody hates eve, but you can’t say she wasn’t traumatized. She was forced to have ugly haircuts and was forgotten just because she looked like the guy her mom had an affair with. Her existence ruined her family as her mom and dad fell apart because of the affair that her mom had, and she was ignored by her entire family but the second that Avery gets written in the will, THEN her half siblings decide that they want to contact her. She was used, just like Avery. Yes, she was a bad person, but she was alone her whole life and so when Vincent Blake was introduced, ofc she wanted to work for him, he was the only one who had ever shown her praise or even acknowledged her her whole life, and since she didn’t have any attention as a kid, of course she wants it now. She wanted to constantly be the best and do as he says because he didn’t want to let him down like she let down her family (just for existing, by the way.) so she did all these horrible things because she was afraid if she messed up, every ounce of attention she had gotten from Vincent would have been wiped away, and she would be alone again. Eve is actually a very layered character, but I feel like people dismiss that bc she hurt Grayson. And yeah what she did to him was horrible but nobody tries to see both sides bc people fangirl for him too much 🙄 (not hating, I do the same thing 🤭)

[idkwhylou]

Pain in the ass

Summary : You’re the new WSO of Phoenix but your relationship is somewhat complicated, one evening when you thought nothing was possible between you two, you took the courage to kiss her.

Natasha Trace x wso!reader/f!reader

A/N : I wrote this imagine thanks to this masterpiece, so if you liked the one shot please go like this one too !!!

»» ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ««

It hadn't been long since you were assigned as Natasha “Phoenix” Trace's WSO. For some reason that was still unknown to you the famous pilot needed a new WSO, you were so happy to be the back seater of Phoenix. She was well known in the world of aviation, enough that despite your young age you already knew her name. She was part of the Top Gun elite. It’s true that when you arrived on the first day at the base you did not really expect to be the youngest, you were surrounded by pilots older than you.

You were extroverted sometimes perhaps a little too much, but you loved to talk and discover new things. That's why your call sign was UTA, it meant "u talk alot". One of the first questions your new teammates asked you was what your call sign meant and when you answered them they looked desperate. That meant that if you talked so much from day one it wasn't just out of excitement. At the time you didn't really understand their reaction but later when you settled in your dormitory you promised yourself not to ruin everything and tried to contain yourself.

The last pilot you flew with, kinda left the state. Literally. He had been called to the other side of the country for a mission of the highest importance. Of course it wasn't because of you, but he made it clear to you before he left that not being in the air with you was a real relief. You didn't want this time to go like this, you wanted everything to go well, of course it was going to be impossible to take away your curious nature but you could always try to make an effort. But despite everything you promised yourself you would do not to ruin everything, you felt like people were already fed up with you.

The first day had barely started when some were already complaining about you, they said it in a humorous tone but made you understand to shut up when it was only breakfast. The fateful moment arrived quite quickly and you met Phoenix with whom you already knew that you were going to team up with her, while other pilots were awarded their WSO, the young woman turned slowly to look who could be “Lieutenant Y/L/N”.

You watched her carefully observe the people behind her before her eyes landed on you, you straightened up and sent her a big smile followed by a slight wave of your hand to say hello. She looked you up and down before turning to focus again on the Admiral in front of you.

Ouch.

As a first contact, it wasn't ideal, but you didn't get discouraged and told yourself that you had to wait for the rest of the day to really see how it went. Your relationship cannot be described by a simple glance, or so you thought. Once the Admiral had finished his explanations, you all left for the locker rooms to get properly equipped for this morning's training. You got up and hurried towards the locker room eager to get on the plane.

Since childhood you have developed a passion for aviation, so one day when you came home telling your parents that you had joined the Navy, they weren't really surprised. They were so happy for you but above all proud, of course they were still a little worried because the Navy remains a dangerous job but they weren't worried about your environment and your relationships.

But they should have.

Being an only child the attention has always been on you and no one else, of course you can stand not being the center of attention but you have always talked a lot and above all they have always listened to you attentively. But now things had changed and you had to accept it. You left the locker room with your helmet in hand before heading to the tarmac to wait with the other pilots, as you approached them you heard one of them talking but given the distance at which you were, it was incomprehensible. But once closer you manage to hear correctly what the pilot was saying, even if you would have preferred not to hear him in the end.

“Phoenix with UTA ! You’ll have fun.” Said a tall brunet, laughing softly mockingly.

“Good luck ! You’ll certainly need it.” Said another, tapping her on the shoulder before joining the other in his giggles.

The tall brunet turned his head and noticed that you were just there and that you had just heard everything, he stopped laughing and straightened up before slapping hard his friend in the shoulder to stop him too. The other pilot looked in front of him and his gaze fell on you, he froze and Phoenix who hadn't seen you yet since she was standing in front of them, turned around.

You didn't wait another minute and put your helmet on your head before continuing to walk straight ahead hoping to find your assigned plane quickly.

»» ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ««

The weeks passed and you could already tell that Phoenix didn't like you, at least that she didn't really have you in her heart. The sessions went pretty well, working together turned out to be child's play, but when your extroverted and curious side took over you felt that she quickly lost patience. You were her partner but you understood that for her you were only her new WSO, nothing more.

You had just left tech school, you were too impatient. Of course you wanted to do well and not make too many mistakes but after all unlike Phoenix you were only a beginner. You knew nothing of her ; neither her routine nor her landmarks. So even if during training everything went pretty well, it is true that you often encounter some small difficulties. You asked her a lot of questions, far too many for her liking. And when you would stop asking questions to focus, again you were talking too much.

Of course you wanted to do well and that it was from a good intention but Phoenix had a hard time supporting it, which you understood. So despite your defective relationship, you tried to catch up with the other pilots since it was already too late with Natasha. Little by little you managed to make some effort, which had allowed others to really want to listen to you. Now you were still talking as much but the pilots who worked with you had now learned that you were like that and that they had to accept it. Now they didn't think your remarks were stupid or unnecessary, they really listened to you even when it wasn't worth it.

Unlike the first day when you ended up cracking up in your bed at night once the lights went out, today you're happy to get up and go see the others. Of course the others continued to bother you a little bit but nothing compared to the first day. Your team saw that you were really trying to put in the effort and were grateful that you did. You had made efforts on your side about being a little too curious but also on your work, you focused a lot more and thought before asking a question realizing that you already knew the answer, you were just too anxious and did not want to do stupid mistake.

Despite all these efforts, your relationship with Phoenix did not seem to evolve.

In your eyes she was the coolest person you had ever met, she was so talented and good at what she did. She seemed so nice, smart, funny and kind with the others, but with you it was quite the opposite. She was cold. You didn't like that Phoenix. You liked the Phoenix who cared about others and was there for the people she loved. Despite your relationship you couldn't help but develop a little crush on Natasha, when you saw how she was with others she was just perfect.

She was beautiful inside and out, to be honest the first few days you were quite nervous around her. You couldn't resist the charm of the pilot.

But your exchanges consisted only of questions coming from you and very short answers coming from her. Most of the time you were talking to yourself, well you didn't think she was really listening to you. The only time you were sure she was listening was when you were in the air telling her what to do. You were really trying to be better every day so that you two started getting along really well but it's like she pushes you away every time. You felt like she was trying to put a huge wall between you.

It broke your heart but you had no choice but to accept. Even if she continued to avoid you completely you only continued to fall more and more in love with her, you did not know it yet but what you felt towards the pilot was not just a simple crush. But one day of training while you were in full flight you noticed that no matter what indications you gave her she did not listen to you, even if you spoke louder it was as if she did not hear you. The end of the assignment came quickly to your great relief.

When you got off the plane, Phoenix was already walking away from you and off the runway, she was angry. Even though you weren't close you started to understand how she was. You didn't even have time to put your foot on the ground when one of the pilots offered to come and have a drink with the rest of the team this evening. At first you were hesitant, it hadn't been that long since you had your first drink. You did not yet know your limits with alcohol and did not prefer to create excesses.

But as you were looking for a way to politely decline, the boy pouts at you before putting his hands on your shoulders. “Come on UTA, please…” He said dramatically.

You looked at him for a moment and realized you couldn't say no, so you agreed. He smiled at you and indicated you his dorm before turning to start walking inside the large building. You were a little surprised that you were invited to a "party" but you didn't think about it too much, telling yourself that you deserved to go have fun with your teammates.

»» ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ««

After a good shower you headed towards the dorm that your teammate had told you about earlier in the day, you slowly approached the door before hearing Phoenix's voice, which made you stop just short of hesitating to enter. You weren't expecting her to be there and honestly you didn't want to bother her, going back to your dorm seemed like the best option. But as you were about to turn on your heels to go back to your dorm, you heard your call sign. You couldn't help but strain your ears to listen carefully to what happened next.

“Oh don't even tell me about it.” Phoenix replied with a grunt.

“Come on Phoenix, she made some efforts. She's not that bad…” Added a voice that you didn't have time to recognize before the pilot spoke again.

“She’ s a pain in the ass ! She always asks a bunch of questions, she acts like it's all just a joke. The only thing she's done is talk, she can't even just shut up and do her job-”

You started walking quickly back to your dorm, deciding you'd heard enough. Admittedly you weren't the best there but you didn't expect Natasha to be so hurtful, at this point it wasn't even more than simple frankness, she had been mean. The worst thing is that again this morning you asked her if there was something and she again sure that there was nothing, while it is she says what she really thinks in front of you everyone except you.

But the worst was that the person you loved hated you.

»» ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ««

The days that followed, you were strangely calm and silent, your teammates no longer had the right to hear your little comments or your daily questions. At first it was not scary, some were relieved but over time they started to worry. You could be silent for a day for a certain reason, but not for four days. Since the evening when you heard what your pilot had said about you, you had been cooled. You didn't want to talk anymore to say nothing lest she complain again to your teammates.

“UTA.” Someone called you, the voice was not unknown, you recognised zed it too quickly, you continued to walk on completely ignoring it, just like she had done with you.

“Y/N !” Cried the young woman again behind you. You froze in place, disturbed by the fact that she had just called you by your first name. You were sure it was the very first time she called you by your first name and not your call sign.

The fact that you liked the way your name came out of her mouth so much annoyed you. After the way she treated you and was with you you couldn't have feelings for her, but no matter how much you pushed them away they came back every time. You turned around and watched the young woman walk towards you, once you faced her she accelerated slightly to reach you faster. “You're okay ?” She asked simply.

You frowned at her unexpected question, “Uhm yeah, that wasn't me yelling two seconds ago.” You say trying to stay cool.

But the only thing you could do at the moment was lose yourself in Phoenix's beautiful brown eyes, so intense and soft. You were younger and slightly shorter than her, only a few inches but enough that you still had to look up at her when she spoke to you.

Oh this girl really had a hold on you.

“Hey, you're the one who left so quickly without saying anything- but that's not the point. Are you sure you're good ?”

“I just told you yes.” You say coldly before turning to resume your walk but Phoenix did not agree with this idea.

She took your arm to stop you from leaving and made you turn around again facing her, you sighed annoyed by the situation but you couldn't deny the butterflies that were unleashed in your stomach.

“Hey calm down UTA, I just want to chat. I was just worried lately.” She confessed softly.

“Worried ?” You asked a little surprised.

“Yes. I noticed you stopped talking, what's up ?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on UTA, don't tell me there's no reason for your silence.”

You stared at her for a moment before looking down at your feet, “It-it's nothing.” You said shyly.

“Yes it matters Y/N.” She said putting her hand on your shoulder, which made you raise your head towards her.

Once again she had said your first name and not your call sign, and once again you felt shivers run through your whole body. The way your name rolled off her tongue was so satisfying. You shook your head and quickly came back to reality, you moved her hand which was still on your shoulder before speaking again. “Oh yeah ? That's not what you were saying a few days ago.”

She frowned not understanding the situation, you laughed curtly before resuming. “I thought I was a pain in the ass and couldn't stop talking and couldn’t do my job.”

You watched her and noticed that her facial features had changed, misunderstanding replaced by realization quite quickly. “UTA-”

“You got what you wanted right ? I finally stopped talking, isn't that enough for you ?” You say, starting to get angry.

“No Y/N ​​listen to me-”

“Listening to you ? Listen to you when from day one you hate me for no reason ? Ok I grant you that sometimes I talk a little too much and I ask too many questions but you really think that I deserved what you made me live ?” You say while releasing all the anger. It was her turn to lower her head to look at the ground, at which point you realized that around you were all the other pilots. You looked around you, everyone had just witnessed what was happening.

You were ashamed. You turned your back on the girl in front of you and continued walking as if nothing happened.

»» ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ««

A few hours after the incident you were in your dorm waiting for time to pass, you were new to the base and the dorms were already taken, so you had the right to your dorm alone. At first you found it a bit sad to be alone, but given the events of the early afternoon you were more than relieved. This evening you had decided not to go to the refectory to eat, your appetite had not come to you. You were now in bed on your back staring at the ceiling waiting for sleep to hit you but nothing.

Suddenly someone knocked on your door, you got up slowly and opened the door. Once opened, you were more than surprised to see who was in front of you, she was no longer in work clothes and had a plastic box containing food in her hands.

“Hey…” She said tenderly.

“Hi.” You say coldly.

She quickly understood that you didn't really want to see her or talk to her, but she continued, “You didn't come to eat tonight.”

Oh, so she looked for me, you thought.

She paused briefly before lifting the box in her hands slightly so your attention would be on the object, “I-I got you something. Can I ?” She asked to enter, unsure of herself.

You said nothing and went to sit on your bed leaving the door open, making her understand that she had only to enter on her own. Once in the room she closed the door gently behind her and moved slowly, she placed the box on your desk next to your bed before sitting down next to you. You waited patiently to see what she was going to do or say but nothing happened, you turned to her and spoke first since she hadn't decided to start “I don't have the whole evening-”

“I am sorry." She cut you off looking you straight in the eye. “Sorry for acting this way with you and not just the awful way I talked about you, but also the way I've been with you from the start. I know that's no excuse for what I may have done, but I-” She stopped short in the middle of her explanation.

You frowned not understanding why she suddenly stopped, you looked at her attentively before focusing on her brown eyes, her beautiful brown eyes. “Phoenix ?”

“Sorry it's just that-that... You replaced my last backseater and honestly I wasn't ready for that and I didn't want to accept it. That's no reason I know and I'm terribly sorry you didn't deserve that-”

This time if it was you who cut her off, but you did not prevent her from continuing to speak. You quickly leaned into her face to connect your lips, surprisingly she didn't push you away and deepened the kiss before placing her hand on your cheek. Inside, you were bubbling, the sensation was exquisite. Suddenly it's as if all the previous events no longer existed, there was only you, nothing else. Everything around you was gone, the only thing you could think of was the lips of the girl you loved on yours.

Your lips started moving together in a steady rhythm, her hand moved and she placed one on each of your arms before applying pressure to them, leaning back and leaning a little more to lay you down on the mattress. Your back touched the fabric of your duvet and now you were between Phoenix and your mattress. She leaned on her arms to avoid crushing you and your hands found their way into her hair, but as her lips moved from your mouth to your neck a slight gurgling of your belly was heard. She pulled away from your neck but still staying close to you, she looked at you with an amused smile on her face.

You smile a little embarrassed, she leans slightly back into your face to place a tender kiss on your cheek before she pulls away from you completely, “You should eat.” She suggested.

You sat up and nodded, she got up and took the box that was on the desk to give it to you. You took her and she sat down next to you. You looked at the box before looking back at the brunette, “How am I supposed to do without cutlery ?”

“Oh…” She said with a laugh before dropping her head on your shoulder. “Sorry-”

You cut her off by kissing her before she said any more, “You say it way too much. And honestly I don't care about the cutlery.” You say, putting the box on the ground. “I have another idea for my meal tonight.” You say kissing her hungrily.

[jinlias]

“we’re not watching that” you let ryujin know as soon as the remote lands on a cheap attempt of a horror movie.

“why not? it’s not even scary!” she shrugs, scooting closer to you on the couch

“that’s exactly why!!” you chuckle taking the control from her.

“oh come on, that? im gonna feel bad when i slip my hand in your pants” ryujin stares at your mouth open mid laugh, her own tongue peeking under her teeth as she leans her head on her palm when you stop on a cartoon movie.

“who said you were getting in my pants tonight?”

“oh, was it not a given?” she raises her brows, shortly crawling until she’s on top of you, having caused you to lay down against the decorative pillows

“mm, no, not that i recall” both of you smile just as you did back in high school, when it took absolutely everything from you and ryujin, doing dishes, washing cars, cleaning social rooms in your own houses (even though your families paid people to do that) for your parents to let either of you sleep over before she pecks your lips.

one turns to three, and soon she’s peppering kisses down your jaw, winning heavy sighs out of you when a startling noise coming from upstairs and a giggle make the two of you freeze. ryujin only lifts herself slightly after a peck to your neck and asks “did u hear that?”

“is that yuna?” you ask back, the two of you looking at each other in a puzzled manner, her arms on your sides and yours around her neck. but after a few minutes it dies back down, so you go back to kissing, eliciting giggles of your own by just the thought of being able to lose time with your lover, but then theres a more alarming noise, it’s a guy and it’s coming from upstairs, this time it makes both of you sit up, reminding you of the many times ryujin’s mom almost caught the two of you messing around in her home. “that was definitely not yuna.”

the look the two of you share next is not one your mom would approve of, it means nothing but trouble and ruining whatever fun yuna was having. part of ryujin believes she should be mad, you too, yuna invited someone over- no, she snuck someone in instead of telling you she wanted to invite someone over. you and your wife, without all the sugar coating, were drug dealers, there was nothing yuna could try that scared you. the two of you thought she trusted you enough to share whoever this was with you

but another part of you instead of being her guardians, grew up with yuna, specially ryujin. so it’s much too expected when the two of you just want to make her life impossible, like she had done many times to you.

soon, the two of you tip toe up the stairs and all the way to her door, which was unsurprisingly closed. and with malicious smiles press an ear against the door. both you and ryujin make disgusted faces at the sound of a kiss, or two, maybe three, and then the guy again asking if she really wanted to sleep with him.

“hey, asked for consent” you shrug, gesturing and okay with your fingers to ryujin, who rolls her eyes and takes out her phone, ringing yuna.

“voicemail! that bitch” ryujin whispers a little too loud because the kissing and giggling stops and she’s lucky you take long strides because just in time, you pull her away from the door, pressing her against the hallway when yuna opens it

“i know you guys are snooping” she giggles “y/n i can see your foot”

it makes you suck in your lips in regret, looking back at ryujin who’s glaring daggers at you for getting you caught. the two of you soon walk out, hands tangled and your heads hung low in some sort of shame.

“okay, you caught us. we’re done, have fun, we’ll talk in the morning, goodnight!!”

“and BE SAFE!” ryujin yells as you drag her to your room, opposed to your quick prior whispering.

[aajjks]

bingoooo but don’t worry. it gets worse 😁

TC!dad!JK

once again, everything is all your fault. you’ve ruined jungkook’s mood and you’re tempted to bang on his door and take your son back but there’s no use in arguing when the damage has been done. you’re beginning to realize how good you are at wrecking your and jungkook’s relationship but for some reason, you don’t regret choosing your son over him. especially when the empress revealed how all of this: the riches, his people, the territory, the power, the crown, he’ll always choose that over you.

you could offer him unconditional love, a normal life and he’d still choose this. you’re both walking on two separate paths and they don’t meet in the middle no matter how hard you try.

your thoughts are interrupted by iseul taking a seat next to you wanting to pitch in on your thoughts. you’re overcome by a large wave of blue and despite your insistence on standing on your decision, you regret not being there for jungkook the way he wanted you to.

“care to tell me what’s going on in that head of yours?”

“i think you already know what going on in there. i feel bad but i also don’t….you know what that bitch told me? she said that jungkook would always choose his crown over me and i…i chose our child over him. i’d do it again if i were faced with that decision but i don’t understand why he’s so upset about it”

“you both are selfish. you want something that you’re not willing to revoke yet expect equal treatment. however, i doubt that is what jungkook is upset about”

“he looked at me like i made a horrible decision, iseul! i love our son so much and if something were to happen to him i’d never forgive myself”

“where’s your faith in your country? don’t you believe the guard will pull through and protect prince jinseoul?”

“i do but i don’t want to find out if they don’t either. so, what? am i supposed to just trust everyone with my son? just say ‘fuck it’ and hope for the best? these people don’t like me, iseul and you know that”

“calm down, y/n” iseul warns you but you’re beginning to see it clearly. she’s not on your team she’s on his and if she thinks you’re going to regret your choice then she’s mistaken.

“you know what? forget it. go kiss up to jungkook since i don’t do it enough” you push past iseul and head inside a bedroom in the ship but you weren’t aware that it was occupied by asami.

“oh…sorry” you apologize not questioning why she’s in one of the bedrooms to begin with.

“no, it’s okay. you can stay in here with me if you’d like” she says and instead of kicking her out and taking the room for yourself, you get on the bed and lay side by side with her.

“are…are you okay?”

“yeah”

you’ve pumped enough bottles for jungkook to feed jinseoul with, so you’re sure he’ll hog him until you all arrive back in goryeo.

“be honest” you say “do you really want to marry jungkook?”

“not really but my mom has always told me that i would wed him”

“hm…”

“what’s wrong?”

“nothing…i’m just a bad wife”

“i don’t think so. you seem very caring and you’re really pretty”

“i didn’t say bad mom i said bad wife but thank you. you’re pretty as well. did you know you and i are only a year apart?”

“you aren’t a bad wife, queen y/n trust me. my mother killed my father for power so you’re far from a bad wife”

wait..did she just say her mother killed the emperor?

“so how old is jungkook? is he 21 as well? you both are so young to be parents”

“u-uh…he’s 24”

“that’s nice. at least i’m a concubine to a man not too far apart in age. maybe we can be friends?”

“sure. i could use more friends. i don’t really have any”

“well now you have me”

“yeah…i guess i do”

~🫧

Seven days pass by too quickly and he’s glad.

He just wants to drown himself in work and his duties do he won’t have to deal with Asami. Even though as expected you three receive a fairly large welcome, back home in Goryeo, Jungkook is not too happy.

He’s so frustrated because his heart is telling him to not be angry at you, what were you supposed to do? Loose your son for whom you’re even tolerating jungkook because of? But yet his brain is telling him that you won’t ever protect him like he expects you to.

Jungkook sighs and he kisses jinseoul before he leaves to join his office, it’s better to work so he won’t think about you.

You’re visibly upset and torn too. He can tell… but he is now starting to feel so guilty for giving you the cold shoulder, how could he ever be dumb enough to think that you, who is a mother now would choose him instead of your baby for whom you struggled nine months in pain for?

He dumps his head on his wooden table. There’s so much pending work- so many papers that he needs to sign and read.

“Yn…” he cries out your name because the ache in his heart just doesn’t stop- it only worsens.

Maybe he should just suck it up and apologize to you tonight.

____

It’s nighttime and according to the servants- Asami has settled in her chamber-as expected, she’s in the wing where concubines stay rather than the golden wing which is exclusively for the Royal Family members.

Jungkook is so exhausted mentally and emotionally that he doesn’t even feel the pain in his knuckles and hips because he was in the office for so long.

You’re definitely still on his mind and he’s pretty sure you’re upset with him, so he sucks in his teeth as he enters your shared chamber.

There you are, laughing with a giggling Jinseoul in your arms. You look so pretty in your lace night gown. You probably aren’t expecting him.

“Yn… sorry. I just came in here to apologize for my awfully immature behavior with you this past week…” he scratches the back of his head and he sees just how much jinseoul makes you happy. He is glad.

“I…I guess I started to live in a delusion that you would ever love me… I thought that you’d protect me even though it was impossible for you… I’m sorry.” He says, standing infront of you because he doesn’t feel like you’ll appreciate him being next to you right now.

[resident-gay-bitch]

My prongsfoot hc is actually really simple. They were each others first kiss, for practicing of course. But with the time they realize it's more than just platonic or brotherly love. James realizes first, bc he grew up in a loving household and when he is in love he is the all or nothing type of guy. Sirius on the other hand never really knew true love until he found it with James first. He's already overwhelmed by being loved as he is platonically. So he takes more time to figure out that this love literally could reach another level. I don't really know how they realize and how they confess, but what I know is, that nothing really changes. From all characters of the fandom Sirius and James are the ones with true soulmate potential. I could imagine that when one realizes and he confesses it's like 'fuck, I don't know what to do, we can talk about everything, but I can't talk about this, bc it's about you and it's killing me bc I don't know how to act around you anymore' but when it's reciprocated it just happens like it never was different.

I dunno this might be really lame and average thought but I love them so much.

And it's not that they are the one and only ship for me. I'm as well into wolfstar or Jegulus. U know ship them all idc. But they are really special and true to me. And normal! For me they are just normal u know? Like what I love about the thought of prongsfoot in a romantic way or when I read fics about them is that when they finally figure out they're more to each other than friends or chosen family, they act so natural. Like nothing about kissing each other the first time or whatever is strange to them. It's new, yes. And of course they are hell of excited, bc when you're in love you can't stop your body from reacting to those feelings. But it just feels right. And once they took the first step they just fall with it. When they make their first experiences they can laugh bc they don't really know what to do and they can say it out loud without hesitation and it doesn't ruin the mood bc they're still James and Sirius. And I love the thought that these two blokes have the most healthy relationship ever. They know each other better than they know themselves, they observe each other, they accept each others flaws like 'I know you are like that sometimes and you have issues with this or that but I've got you. Take your time and I'm here.' and they would also be like 'I already know that but thank you for telling me that I'm an assohle sometimes. I will work on that and you already made a better person of me.' when they struggle with anything, like each others bad habits they would do anything to make it work out bc neither of them could ever imagine being without each other.

THIS!!! EXACTLY THIS!!! I AGREE WITH YOU SO MUCH OH MY GOSH!!!

yess it’s just like nothing even changes. I think I responded to my last ask with a head cannon so much like this that I love. Like it just kinda flows, there’s no awkwardness or big changes they need to adjust too. It’s not even weird for the people around them because they’re still exactly the same they just get to kiss now!

They’re so special to me too. I love them so much. Like I love wolfstar and Jily and jeggy and like so many other ships too, I’m big on rarepares and that as well, but prongsfoot is so deer to me (see what I did there?!). I love them so much, and it’s probably the demisexual in me but FUCK I ADORE THEM IN EVERY ASPECT!

It is not really lame and average, thank you so much for sharing anon because I completely agree. I love that we share that headcannon! <3

The only difference for me is that I think sirius recognises his feelings first. As you said, James was raised with love and is very deeply immersed in all that good crap that it just doesn’t even occur to him really. He just knows he loves sirius as a super close best friend and doesn’t put any more thought into that. He’d do anything for sirius, but his parents taught him that you feel similar ways for anyone you love so why would it be different? He just remains oblivious for a while.

But Sirius? It drives him crazy. He notices immediately because what the fuck how is he in love with his best friend and also a boy?! The thought has him so anxious but whenever James is near he just looses all anxieties and melts into him. James doesn’t take long to figure it out, I imagine Peter or Remus or someone would make a teasing remark about his crush on Sirius or something and he’d be like OH!!!

I do love how you perceive it though, and it definitely makes so much sense. Them in anyway makes so much sense to me :)

[chironshorseass]

Hi sorry I’ve been rereading pjo recently and it’s still so good and remembering how good pjo is always makes me so disappointed in hoo all over again. For some reason something that’s been really driving me crazy this time over is just how bad the power scaling is in hoo, and I’m sure that this has been talked about already but I just wanted to get the thoughts out of my head and you seemed like a good place to rant to sorry, also it has been a hot minute since I actually read hoo so sorry if I got anything wrong. 

It just, it’s so bad. In just the span of son Frank learns to shapeshift into literally any animal he wants (including mythical ones) with seemingly no repercussions?? I don’t even remember him talking about like getting tired. In less than a year over the span of the rest of the books Piper learns to charmspeak so well she can put a primordial goddess to sleep and Hazel becomes a master at manipulating the mist. I feel like I remember there being some nuance and development with Leo’s powers but I’m not sure (also side tangent, I wouldn’t be surprised, Leo was by far the most interesting and nuanced character in the series until Rick made his entire arc about being jealous over a girl). It’s been so cool to reread pjo and being able to SEE Percy getting more powerful, being able to watch him grow and learn to use his powers. 

Also!! In pjo powers were clearly a pretty rare and cool thing reserved for powerful demigods, and that was cool! And it really emphasized that children of the Big Three were especially powerful/dangerous, which was like a pretty important plot point actually!! And then in hoo that just all gets thrown away, anyone can have super cool powers, godly parents mean nothing. (I haven’t read all of trials of apollo yet but it seemed like this was still a problem Rick was having re: Meg)

I’ve thought this before but Rick just like forgot how to make characters interesting and nuanced in hoo I think. He tried to replace an interesting personality and motivations with cool powers. In an attempt to make all of the seven as cool as Percy, Rick actually just made every character, including Percy, bland and samey with little nuance. 

Sorry this is so long and rambling, I have a lot of feelings about hoo :P

don’t apologize!!!! u r so right and i always want to rant abt this when hoo is talked about lmaoo. percy and the rest of the characters fell into this same line of sameness and boringness, and annabeth not having powers was even addressed when it didn’t need to be addressed before??? it’s seen as an insecurity (for her) while at the same time in moa she proves that she can work without powers? ok ig. idk ur right it wasn’t nuanced at all, bc annabeth should’ve been the norm: someone with little to no “supernatural” power. ok, have piper charmspeak, but why depend on that entirely? piper is “cunning” per se, but rick doesn’t explore that tbh BECAUSE of her charm speaking ability!!! leo as a character was so interesting and i have a post abt him but yeah, basically his arch was ruined by the fanon, racist version i think. rick just turned his eye on the fans and decided to make everything according to them and not what was ACTUALLY meant to happen. also the rest of the characters: i think hazel being That Powerful makes sense, but this is the big three kids we’re talking about!! ofc she needs to be powerful, but yeah, her power growth was fast and it wasn’t addressed. it was almost like she was unappreciated and put to the sidelines in the end bc again. racism. huh. jason was implied to be more powerful, and out of all the big three kids i think he was the weakest in those terms lolll. yeah it’s. bad. power should’ve been like pjo, and if there’s gonna be powerful characters then their arch has to be nuanced and well developed, not abrupt like what happened during hoo🤷🏽‍♀️

[pompadourpink]

Hello mom, I was wondering if u have any kind of advice to people trying to overcome an intense relationship (he liked me, but it wasn't as intense for him). He didn't want anything serious, we continued as friends because I didn't want him out of my life. Didn't work because I'd suffer a lot after seeing him. Then I decided to tell him we couldn't see each other anymore. I really miss him but at the same time I know he did some things that hurt me. Yet I am not able to be angry at him.

Hello darling,

I wish you could have given me your age but here are my initial thoughts:

You talk about an intense relationship, a lot of suffering, strong feelings, and missing the guy deeply. No mention of duration, things being done together, a sex life, any type of commitment. From his point of view: liked you (not loved), didn't want anything serious, didn't try to keep you when you left, and hurt you - but you're not angry, so it's most likely nothing very immoral.

All of those things lead me to think that you are quite young, have never been in a relationship, and are potentially codependent. I'm seeing someone who is craving love, has been forgetting herself, doesn't know who she is, might have watched too many movies, and probably has something to heal from. You got a crush on a guy who just went along with it, got disappointed because he wasn't able to give you what you wanted, and felt deeply hurt and rejected by the relationship ending to the point that you can't even see him anymore without feeling crushed.

In the meantime, he was just standing there, stunned, having no idea how you got so infatuated, or why you were so upset, when he never promised anything and was apparently very clear that he didn't want anything serious - which is the case of most young men who just want to have fun before they do settle down.

Here are similar questions I received. Reading "I am 17 and have never had a boyfriend, I think I ruined my life" always makes me SCREM.

TLDR: at the moment you seem so obsessed with the idea of love that you don't care who you date, you just want to date, and that's not good. That's not good because you will be willing to accept anything to start and keep dating the first man who looks at you, which will then keep you from getting into healthy relationships with better men in the future. That's not good because that man will not care about you, and just passively accept everything you'll be throwing at him to try and gain his affections while giving you nothing back until one day you break up with him because you're tired to wait for him to commit (and then he'll meet someone he actually cares for and marry her after six months). That's not good because if you don't know who you are, you won't know what you want, and you'll tolerate everything because you don't know yet what's tolerable or not in a relationship.

Figure out who you are. Try things, see what you like, what you don't like, your political beliefs, ask yourself if you agree with your parents' beliefs and traditions, explore hobbies and passions, travel if you can.

Most importantly, talk to people, make small talk whenever you can, without an agenda, just to experience what they have to offer, and realise that they are not a solution to your loneliness and lack of fulfilment. Getting into a relationship to be happy is like losing weight to finally love the way you look: it's not going to work and you will just constantly adjust the final goal.

Make yourself happy, interesting, believe in yourself, and boys will start looking at you, and seeing someone intriguing they want to get to know, instead of someone miserable they can use until they get bored and meet someone else.

Love,

Mum

[tsukidrama]

Hi, hi, hi, hi! Pink Anon here, guess who has two thumbs and got COVID-19? This girl. Sorry for going MIA for a while there, it was physically draining to even use my phone! I'm cool now, I feel normal, I'm writing again!

I'm really happy you liked my requests! I'm looking forward to seeing them go to he beach and having some sort of picnic, like I've said they really deserve it. I'm not complaining about the spoilers, I'm waiting to see how it all plays out, especially after last chapter. Boy did it ruin me. Specifically this part, "'I’m not taking a break! I’ve been training this whole time,' Annie pleads, terrified." Made me put my phone down and realize just how severe Annie's trauma really is, holy shit. You really managed to capture that fear perfectly, being scared of your parents/an authority figure. It feels different than other fears, I think. I don't have the most experience with it, but with the little bit I do, it really seems accurate and that's what's really heartbreaking about this chapter. Completely destroyed me.

ah, shit. noooo, i remember what it was like to be sick like that. at one point i don't think i moved out of the same spot for 2 days. i'm glad that you seem to be feeling better now at least! i hope everyone close to you is okay, too.

of course dear! i'll likely do an otbp with a picnic relatively soon, and i'll make them go to the beach in the main TRNT story 💘

it never stops hurting. FUCKK ME. Annie is and always has been the queen of repression - and even if she started thinking about her dad differently and in a positive light after she left on her mission, she still spent 11+ years living with him when he didn't give a shit about her. she's got to have complicated feelings about him but she pushes away the bad thoughts and memories because she wants to be loved so badly. she's so tragic,,, i can fix it for u babey.

both of them are perfectly fine with leaving the past in the past but IT MAKES ME SO MAD. don't get me wrong i love Papa so dearly. probably more than a lot of people do tbh, but it also pisses me off that there's been no plot to address all his unforgivable crimes against baby Annie. writing ch 9 was insane because on one hand i was writing through my own tears, but on the other i kind of felt like Papa gets what he deserves :/

on one hand i kind of hate him and i hope he suffers for the rest of his life but also in TRNT he is genuinely a really positive father figure. but it's MEANT to be extremely conflicting, he is hated for good reason. at this point, TRNT Papa really isn't even the same character anymore, but it's also the only version of him that i'm willing to accept.

"'You can rest. You’ve done perfectly,' he says. '...I have?'" OW. I feel like I've seen other people talk about this line, but god does it hurt a lot. Annie questions Papa twice when he tells her to rest, which really shows just how cemented in her head training was. She wasn't allowed to take breaks, so even when he explicitly tells her she doesn't think she can, she doesn't even know how.

IMMMM SSORRRRYYYY i know, i know. that's why he HAD to be the one to go out and calm her down. nothing that reader could've done would've helped no matter how hard she tried, because Papa was the only one Annie needed comfort from right then.

of course she doesn't know what to do -- she's never taken a moment to just rest for her entire life. even whenever she moves out to the cottage she's still bouncing off the walls and constantly finding projects to distract herself with. she runs from her problems until it literally destroys the heart of the home.

there are like 3 different lines during that scene that hit me in the gut every time. basically everything tbh, but especially all of the spoken dialogue. the bit that personally gets me the most is when they both go quiet, then reader peeks around to see that he's crying and struggling to say "i love you." LIKE BITCH. KILL ME NOW. i'm going to eat glass.

Even how the chapter is ended was amazing(ly sad), I really enjoyed reading the whole thing. When I got the notification, I literally jumped out of my chair. I'm really looking forward to the next chapter, if this is Annie's rock bottom, she can only get better, right? I hope so. Overall, I'm very satisfied. Another utterly devastating chapter, in the best way possible.

the next chapter (10) will mostly be addressing the fallout of what happened in ch 9. some hard conversations that are going to take place in the next couple chapters but i swear to GOD that it doesn't get any worse. it's uphill from here, which is honestly so exciting for me because i never thought this series would grow into what it is.

no way is it going to be worse than this. that mess what all the angst i've been alluding to for months lol. IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT THOUGH, YOUR OPINIONS AND FEEDBACK MEAN SO MUCH TO ME!!!

On another note, I'm not writing as much as I'd like. School, coronavirus, and I'm also joining a soccer team? Out of character, but it is a good distraction. I've been getting into sports lately, so much so that part of me wants to write an Annie x reader where her and the reader are on some sort of team. If I can find the time, of course. I'm just trying to decide what sport she would play.

you don't have to be writing every second of every day! it sounds like you have a lot going on. i'm not too sporty myself but i would absolutely go to your soccer games and cheer for you.

HONESTLY I SWEAR I'M NOT EVEN SAYING THIS BECAUSE I KNOW IT'S YOUR SPORT, BUT SOCCER IS A GOOD ONE. she's fast/small and it's canon that a lot of the fighting she does uses her legs. AND THE UNIFORMS. i support you doing a soccer au for maximum self insert potential. Annie is your soccer gf who always holds your hand on the bus on the way to games. she always runs to you when you're tired or when you've fallen just to make sure you're alright.

my top sport for Annie is always boxing. and another idea that goes hand in hand with this, is illegal cage fighting aksdjfdk, HEAR ME OUT. she's so good that she could make a living off of placing bets on herself. bitch would be the reigning champion, she's a fucking maniac. it also has lots of good potential for fics where her significant other is fussing over her tending to her injuries.

Hm, another song recommendation that fits the fic (by the way I loved the link to Slipping Through My Fingers by ABBA, I could totally see the connection, as sad as it is), April Come She Will by Simon and Garfunkel. The soft, summer vibes of the song fit the cottage setting, I think. It's a short song, but one that I love nonetheless.

i actually had a difficult time picking out a song for this chapter. i almost released it with no song at all, but then i had an abba playlist on while doing the dishes or something and next thing i know i'm crying. that song from Papa's POV really hurts in a special, evil type of way, huh? i'm devastated over it.

and re: the song, YOU'RE SO RIGHT. not even just the soft vibe of the song but the lyrics - it reminds me of how things are slowly going askew for them despite both putting forward effort. it's a bit of a sad song with it ending where it does but i definitely agree that it very much fits the vibe, added to my trnt playlist. i just wish that the song went on a little bit longer so things could be fixed lol.

Have a nice day <3,

Pink Anon

you too! and again sorry for the delay i just wanted to have the mental energy to have a good response

[dakotafoxandtheobstacles]

12/30/23

As we approach new years eve i can't help but reflect. Allison i don't think you know the damage that you did that day. Like you cannot just chalk it up to you being a coward. What you did was so incredibly selfish and hurtful i don't think ill ever understand it. You lied straight to my face while we were together. And then you gave yourself an hour to draft a text talking about "its not you its me" when everything you said over the phone, and discord, and through text and when we were together was saying the exact opposite. I will never fucking understand why you did what you did and more so I don't understand how someone can fucking do that. I didn't even have the chance to process it because i was just so fucking hurt by it.

At 26.5 years old, I have been hurt in countless ways; for my academic hoes, my ACEs score is 5. I have been fucking abandoned and discarded like trash in more ways than i can count to the point where it no longer feels like a coincidence it just feels like this is what is meant to happen to me. Based on the patterns I am the variable that is not meant to be loved. I am simply a tool for others to use to figure out what they really want. And what they want is never me. I don't think it is ever going to be me. I think I am just going to keep getting left behind and dropped. Again and again and again.

Sam, Ally, Allison, Keith, Fred, Moms, Dad:

You have all hurt me in each unique way. I am so fucking angry at all of you. I am so angry because each of you have contributed to all the reasons and ways that I hate myself. Having what has happened to me over and over and over again leads me to believe that these situations and feelings will never stop happening to me. I feel like there must be something so wrong with me for things like this to keep happening. I really don't understand what I did wrong or what is inherently wrong with me. I don't get it.

I am trying so hard to get better but this time of year the guilt i feel for simply existing is fucking overwhelming. I feel so guilty for everything I have done or been involved in. I feel like all I do is poison everything I touch and that people should keep their distance from me because of that. I can't help but feel that in addition to being born wrong I guess I have had herpes for over a year now and every day i feel more disgusted with myself. Every person im attracted to im terrified to get too close to because I will tell them about the herpes and they will never want to touch me or have me touch them. And the ones that would like colin was looking for an exit strategy the whole time.

I think it might be impossible for people to love me. Allison made it clear she was incapable of it. Ally tried to twist me into something more appealing to her. Sam ruined me, without even warning me of the possibility and then ghosted me like the 6 months we were fucking weekly meant nothing at all. Colin, Peyton, Abby, Anna, and more who ive wiped from my memory all were just with me until they could be with someone they actually wanted to be with. Peyton didn't even bother to hide it from me.

And I am so angry at my parents for introducing all of these thoughts and behavioral patterns to me in the first place. What the fuck is wrong with yall. none of you should have been parents until you treated your own shit because now i have to pick up the pieces and foot tooth and nail to make sure i don't fucking kill myself. its not fucking fair i did not fucking ask for this and now i have to deal with it. i am so fucking mad. Why did u guys do that i don't get it. Jen always took better care of casey than she did me. she was never emotionally there for me especially when i needed her to be. bonny fucking groomed me and probably abused me. and my dad never wanted me in the first place.

really im just so fucking tired of feeling like i am going to be abandoned at any time because i dont deserve anything but myself.

and i'm supposed to try to heal while there is a fucking genocide being paid for with my tax dollars???? War criminals get free health care but I fucking dont????? fuck u fuck everyone its all a bunch of bullshit i fucking hate this world and my self so like what the fuck is left honestly.

[prizmpaws]

>:33c (definitely dont have to do all of em i just love these prompts)

for jax: 🌈 rainbow, 🚆 train, 👑 crown, 🌱 seedling, 📎 paperclip

for caspian: 🌙 moon, 😨 fearful, 👻 ghost, 📎 paperclip

for liz: 👪 family, 📣 megaphone, 📸 camera, 🎤 microphone, ☄️ comet, 📎 paperclip

LMK IF U WANT MORE BC these prompts r amazing

jax

🌈 RAINBOW - what advice would they give to their younger self?

- “it gets better. it gets a hell of a lot worse for a little while there, but it gets so much better. please just stick it through, there’s so much happiness waiting for you.”

🚆 TRAIN - what is their answer to the trolley problem?

- “i would pull the lever. i’ve seen enough death. hell, i’ve blamed myself for enough deaths. id rather have one person’s blood on my hands than witness five deaths. deciding not to do anything is just as much of a choice as deciding to pull the lever.”

👑 CROWN - what does your oc want to be remembered as? why?

- “a kind person. someone who cared and helped others. i’ve been through my fair share of shit, i just want to bring people happiness. if nothing else, i just want to be remembered as a good husband. i want to have brought light and warmth to someone’s life.”

🌱 SEEDLING - what is their most vivid memory from childhood?

- the first time his parents went out for a business trip since he was born and left him home alone w willow for a week. he was 6. he thought it was fun at the time because they got to screw around and break the rules since whatever nanny they hired didn’t really care/watch them too closely but it leaves a sour taste in his mouth in hindsight.

📎 PAPERCLIP - a random fact.

- he really likes herbal/plant scents. they remind him of his husbands (grass type and farmer. they both smell like plants.)

caspian

🌙 MOON - what is your oc's greatest wish? how far are they willing to go for it?

- “my biggest wish is to do ur mom. and let’s just say i fulfill it every weekend.” his biggest wish is to keep socks safe and happy. he will go to the ends of the earth for them. he would not hesitate to sacrifice himself for their sake

😨 FEARFUL - when scared, do they go into "flight" or "fight"?

- their immediate instinct is flight, but they push through it and fight. especially when someone they care about is in danger.

👻 GHOST - do they believe in ghosts? what are their "ghostly experiences", if any?

- vae doesn’t, but vae likes to make up spooky ghost stories to freak our vaer sibling. if vae were to have an actual ghost encounter vae’d try to be the cool, collected sceptic playing it off as the wind and everyone’s imagination but vae’d actually be terrified

📎 PAPERCLIP - a random fact.

- sometimes, when mer feels upset and overwhelmed, mer’ll go swimming for a few hours to be alone with mer’s thoughts. mer likes mer’s siren form and thinks it’s really cool but doesn’t like to show anyone for fear that they’ll judge merm and ruin the joy of it for merm.

liz

👪 FAMILY - what is their family like? what is your ocs relationship to them? does your oc have any siblings?

- liz’s parents weren’t exactly going when they had her, so they’ve been on the older side all her life, but she’s alright with that. they don’t always understand everything, but they’re always kind and try their best and were fully supportive of her transition. she has an older sister who was in college when she was in elementary school so she was essentially an only child growing up. she never had super close contact with her sister, and she didn’t talk w her parents quite as much while she was out adventuring, but she moved back in with them after beating the league to help them as they get older. she’s started talking to her older sister more, too. also her mom is siblings with a hoennian princess so she does like casually have royal blood but like it’s not a big deal

📣 MEGAPHONE - how loud are they? what do they speak like? got a voice claim?

- she’s very chatty and extroverted. even around people she’s just met. if you’re around her for more than like 5 minutes you end up becoming best friends with her. i don’t rlly have a voice claim/idea of her voice in mind? but i’m sure if i searched around for voice claims and thought abt it enough i could find one

📸 CAMERA - do they enjoy having their picture taken? what's their go-to pose? do they like taking photos? what do they take photos of?

- she’s always down for group pictures but she isn’t usually a huge fan of ppl taking pics of just her unless it’s her gfs. her go to pose is to throw up a peace sign or to take selfies from very unflattering angles.

🎤 MICROPHONE - are they good at singing? what is their go-to karaoke song?

- she has an actually good singing voice but especially during stuff like karaoke she gets excited and like scream sings and you can definitely tell she’s hyped but it doesn’t sound. amazing. her go to karaoke song is sweet caroline bc she likes getting everyone to do the bum bum bums with her

☄️ COMET - what do people assume about them? are they right?

- because she’s chatty and extroverted and was a bit of a class clown, people tend to assume she’s dumb. she might not have the best book smarts, but she did pretty alright in school and has good life/emotional smarts

📎 PAPERCLIP - a random fact.

- her middle name is margaret. she chose it because it’s her moms name

[ppersonna]

swipe right - jjk | m

“ i wanna ruin our friendship. we should be lovers instead. i don't know how to say this, cause you're really my dearest friend “ - jenny, studio killers

♡ summary-  after a horrible breakup, you sign back up for tinder and ironically match with your best friend, jungkook. a date for fun is harmless, right?

♡ genre- best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, jk is a minecraft streamer, brother namjoon, brother-in-law jimin, namjoon is kind of a himbo stay at home dad ngl, ex-boyfriend seokjin (mentioned but doesnt show up)

♡ word count- 9k

♡ warnings- mentions of a bad breakup (smh seokjin wtf??), penetrative sex, unprotected sex (u know the business folx), oral sex (m receiving), teasing, SO MUCH BODY WORSHIP, jk is a simp, slight dirty talk, lots of just talking during sex yall it happens, creampie, cum play, praise praise body worship praise, did i mention body worship, tit-fucking, cum eating, i think thats all.

♡ a/n - helloooo and thank you for your wait for this fic! i’m so happy its done and i loved writing it! it’s a little bit different feel for my usual style of writing (smut-wise) so please tell me your thoughts! i didn’t use dom/sub themes OR a daddy kink LMAOOOO praise me please. i hope you enjoy!! pls feel free to comment, chat, message, carrier pigeon, email, mail, WHATEVER U WANT, me. i love u babies. thank you to @kimtaehyunq​ for the sexy banner. and for @xjoonchildx @ladyartemesia​ @untaemedqueen​ for the writing support and idea generation. i would be nothing without my council. and thank you to my beta editors @hobi-gif and @ughseoks​ and @hongism​ for the perusal and help in writing this!

Jungkook is the person you call when your world falls apart.

He answers, voice raspy from the late hour, and the second he asks you what’s wrong, the downpour of torrential tears you’ve been holding back finally escapes and you’re sobbing through the phone that you just lost the love of your life—that he left and with little effort on his part, and a lot on yours.

Jungkook listens to you—his heart aching deep in his chest at hearing the utter heartbreak that’s clear in your voice. You’ve never been hurt like this, and he’s desperate to hold you, to make it go away. He wants to drive over to Seokjin’s house and throw a left hook into his stupid, handsome face for making you feel you weren’t worth it.

Because if there’s anything in the world that Jungkook knows, it’s that you’re worth it. You’re worth everything. Add up all the money and all the gold in the entire world, and it still doesn’t meet a fraction of what you’re worth to him.

“Where are you?” He asks as he cradles the phone against one arm and pulls on his jeans.  

You sniffle. “Jungkook, it’s 3 am.”

“So? I was up playing Minecraft,” He lies. “Where are you?”

You can’t help but laugh the tiniest bit, a sliver of warmth wrapping itself around your raw and exposed heart. Like a balm to a flesh wound. It doesn’t heal it, not yet.

“I’m at our park.”

Jungkook smiles as he grips the phone back in his hand. The park. The place you and Jungkook spent your childhood playing make-believe games, and formative teenage years loitering around smoking clove cigarettes to look cool.

“Give me five minutes, okay?”

You nod, even though he can’t see you. 

“Okay.”

Jungkook arrives with two minutes to spare. His beat up Nissan that he insists is “vintage” and “priceless” idles next to you.

He can see you through the darkened glass of your car—your mascara is running down your face, tears streaked through your flawlessly applied makeup.

You still look so beautiful.

And it angers Jungkook that all that time you spent looking good for Seokjin meant nothing to him.

He motions for you to come over, pats the passenger seat next to him and smiles as he watches you open the door and slide into the security of his familiar car.

“You cleaned your car,” you murmur as you notice a severe lack of McDonald’s trash.

He sniffs haughtily. 

“The trash added character.”

Jungkook doesn’t give you a chance to respond. Instead, he’s unbuckling his seatbelt and pulling you as close to him as he can get you. The instant his arms wrap around your body, the floodgates open again and your once-quieted tears turn back into full-fledged sobs.

“I loved him,” you gasp through the pain in your throat.

He rubs your back, pats your hair gently, soothing you the way he has for years now. Through every breakup, through every family fight with your older brother Namjoon, through all the mean girls in high school. Jungkook is the north star—always consistent, always guiding you back to safety.

“I know, babe,” he sighs. “You deserve someone who’s going to treat you right, who’s not just going to give up when things get hard.”

You choke back a cry against his Patagonia hoodie and bury your face further into the crook of his neck. He smells like Old Spice and the shampoo he uses, along with the smell of laundry soap you buy for him—he uses dish soap when he runs out and nearly broke his washing machine last time.

“I thought he was the one. I’m so stupid.”

Jungkook swallows hard. Tonight is about comforting you, not about feeling sorry for himself that you’re his best friend and not his girlfriend. He can’t help but think of what kind of life he would give you. He knows it’s one that wouldn’t end with you crying in a parking lot at 3 AM.

“You’re not stupid, you just loved him. And there’s nothing stupid about loving someone, even if it doesn’t work out,” he sighs as he cradles your head against him. It feels right having you there, pressed up against him and seeking comfort from the solace of his arms.

“Let’s go get a milkshake, yeah?” He asks as you pull your head up and look at him with sad, glassy eyes.

“Yeah,” you nod after a moment of staring.

Jungkook’s eyes sparkle with love, with hope. It makes the desperate, alone feeling inside you—disappear. Jungkook presses a soft kiss to your forehead and then starts the shaky ignition of his car, that takes three cranks of the key before it turns over.

He sends you a look, a laugh evident on your face.

“Don’t even start,” he warns. “The engine is fine.”

“Whatever you say,” you snort as you wipe an errant tear from your face.  

“It’s a certified classic car! I could get millions for this baby!”

As the weeks pass, the pain of losing Seokjin becomes further and further from your mind. You can get through the day without crying anytime you see something that reminds you of him and even start flirting with others without feeling like you’re cheating.

You just still haven’t reached the point where dating someone else even feels possible. You’re terrified of allowing someone close to you, letting them into a place where you’re inviting them to possibly hurt you. You’re not sure your heart is ready for it. 

“I think you’re just scared,” your older brother Namjoon states as he warms up a bottle of milk in boiling water. 

He cradles his new baby in one arm while the other works at the bottle of milk. 

“I’m not scared,” you huff. “I just don’t think it’s the right time.” 

Namjoon sighs and hands the gurgling newborn baby off to you and readies the bottle for you to feed your new niece, Jisoo. 

“Look, Seokjin sucks, okay? I know you two were together for some time, but in the end, he wasn’t the right one for you. There’s someone out there who is the right one for you. You know how many shit frogs I had to kiss before I got my prince?” 

You make a face as you feed Jisoo, who happily sucks and gazes at the lights above. 

“You call Jimin a prince?” 

Namjoon sighs dreamily as he watches the baby and thinks of his husband. 

“The dreamiest prince,” he breathes, eyes closed in bliss. “But back to your problems. I think you should get back out there. Go on some dates, meet some people. No one is telling you to fall in love and get married tomorrow. Just go have some fun.” 

You allow Namjoon’s words to mull through your mind. What could be the harm in joining a few dating sites, perhaps spending some time at the gym or grocery store flirting with someone cute?

“Fine,” you say. “I’ll think about it.” 

“Good. I can’t be the only one giving our parents grand-babies. Soo needs a cousin.” 

You smile down at the tiny bundle in your arms and imagine a future where you have a baby of your own. 

“Okay, I’m not trying to get knocked up, Joon.” 

“Whatever,” he sighs. “Help me choose a wall color for me and Jimin’s new master bathroom.” 

Tinder’s changed since the last time you used it, years ago. It’s gone from any semblance of dating to strictly an app used to get laid. 

It’s discouraging swiping through all the obvious fuckboys. Sure, a quick and easy lay sounds great, but you’re also trying to go out and enjoy real, traditional dates, and it seems none of these guys want to step foot outside of a bedroom. 

The swiping left becomes almost monotonous. You’re sitting on your couch, watching some documentary about serial killers, when a startling profile pops up on your Tinder feed. 

The picture that pops up is... Jungkook. You can’t stop the bubble of laughter that leaps from your chest. His profile is so authentically Jungkook that you’re swiping right before you even know it. 

Your brain doesn’t even comprehend what a match with Jungkook means, really. You’re still laughing as you click on the bubble to message him and send him as many laugh emojis as you can. 

“Hey guys, what’s up, Kookie here with another Let’s Play Minecraft video for ya. Be sure to like and subscribe if you enjoy this kind of content.”

Jungkook’s headset is firmly wrapped around his head, mic next to his mouth and hands at the ready on his mouse and keyboard. He’s set and in the zone. 

The game is well into play when the familiar chime of his phone goes off. It’s a Tinder notification—he can tell by the sound. He can’t help but roll his eyes, wondering what sort of boring conversation he’s meant to have with a girl who will probably ghost him, anyway. 

He lazily lifts his phone and glances at the notification, before dropping it back to the desk. 

His hand freezes on his mouse as he finally comprehends what he just read. 

He just matched with YOU. 

His best friend. 

His secret, lifelong crush. 

He sputters something into the microphone and stops recording his game, wildly grasping for the phone and unlocking it. 

YN: 😂😂😂😂 is your bio a Minecraft pickup line?!

He pauses, attempts to collect his thoughts, before desperately typing on his screen. 

JUNGKOOK: Why? 😉😏 did it work?

You spend the rest of your night jokingly flirting with Jungkook, sending GIFs and emojis in between the silly lines you’re using on each other. 

Right before you’re about to head to sleep, Jungkook sends one last message. 

JUNGKOOK: What if we went on a date lolol. Haha jk. Unless?? 👀👀👀

Your thumbs hover over the keys to your phone. 

A date with Jungkook? Even though you matched with him, you’ve never thought of a date with your childhood best friend. 

YN: alright, it’s only fair since we matched 😝 show me how you treat these tinder ladies

“I have a date with Jungkook tonight,” you tell your brother, Namjoon, over the phone. 

Over the crying of your newborn niece, you hear Namjoon splutter in confusion. 

“You what!?” He nearly screams. “Jeon Jungkook? Like... the annoying kid you’ve been friends with since fourth grade?”

You huff. 

“He’s not annoying! He’s my best friend. We ironically matched on Tinder and… Well, why the fuck not? Nothing serious is going to happen. We’ll go out and have a story to tell about how incompatible we are.”

Namjoon doesn’t reply. Instead, you hear him speak to his husband. 

“She’s going on a date with Jungkook,” he says over the muffle of his hand on the receiver.

There’s a shuffle, and the dulcet voice of your brother-in-law, Jimin, comes over the line. 

“Girl,” he starts. “What the fuck?”

You chuckle as you move about your closet, trying to decide what’s appropriate to wear on a date with your best friend. 

“It’s nothing!” 

“Mm-hmm,” Jimin tuts. “You know the boy is in love with you.” 

“Okay, Chim, you’ve been spending too much time cooped up with my brother. It’s affecting your grip on reality.”

“Sure, honey. I just tell it like it is. Don’t break his heart.” 

You roll your eyes. 

“I won’t break his heart because there’s nothing there, Jimin.”

“I’ll be expecting your call later.”

“Yes, dad. Love you guys.”

“We love you too, sweetheart. But really, don’t break that poor boy’s heart.”

You open your mouth to retort yet another reassurance that there’s nothing to break, but the line goes dead.

“Fucking Jimin,” you mutter as you throw your phone to the bed.

You can’t allow yourself to think that Jungkook might have feelings for you. It’s totally out of the questions. He’s your best friend. The guy who shoves Cheetos up his nose to make you laugh and falls asleep during every movie night with his face in the popcorn bowl. He’s just Jungkook. This date is just a funny way to hang out.

So, why do you care so much about what you wear?

You’re still standing in front of your closet, attempting to find something respectable to wear. It doesn’t matter that the last time Jungkook saw you; it was with mascara streaming down your face and a hoodie from Namjoon’s college swimming days and ripped leggings. Jungkook has seen you in nearly everything you wear, so your indecisiveness gives you pause.

Do you want Jungkook to be attracted to you? Do you want to do your best to look as presentable as you would for a normal date?

The thudding of your heart tells you that maybe you’re more interested in this being a date than you’re allowing yourself to believe.

You shake all thoughts off. 

No, you won’t allow yourself to overthink a night that should just be fun.

You settle for a fitted and simple summer dress, tights and heels. Simple, easy, respectable but also showing enough cleavage and sculpt of your ass to ensure you look more dressed up than not.

Perfect.

With one last look in the mirror, you’re ready.

JUNGKOOK: I’m outside!

ME: See you soon!

Jungkook taps his foot anxiously as he sits on the bench outside your apartment. His tight black jeans feel like a second skin on his legs, and the black button-down shirt he’s tucked in makes him rethink his choice of outfit.

Is he too casual?

He’s never really worn something like this around you. This is what Jungkook wears when he wants to seduce. This is what every girl he’s desperately wished was you got to see. The girls who swooned over his messy hair, the way his jeans display his toned thighs, the peek of skin at his throat.

Maybe it’s too much.

Maybe he’s afraid he’ll scare you away.

Maybe he’s afraid you won’t like it.

He’s given no chance to ruminate anymore because you’re exiting the building and walking straight towards him.

He doesn’t think he remembers how to breathe.

It’s as if you walk towards him in slow motion. Angels chorus around him and the setting sun sparkles on your face like a spotlight. There’s nothing in the world anymore, nothing but you.

You’re the most beautiful human he’s ever seen in his life.

“Hi,” you smile as you approach him.

He continues to stare, eyes traveling over the soft curves of your cheeks and jaw, trailing down to the way your dress clings just right to each dip of your body. His throat goes dry.

You are without a doubt the girl of his dreams. 

“Jungkook?”

It pushes him out of his reverie, eyes widening as he realizes he’s been staring at you for maybe a few minutes too long to play off as normal.

“Hey!” He coughs, attempting to right himself.

“You okay?” You ask, eyebrow lifted in concern.

“Yeah! Yup! Totally! I’m okay—a-okay, absolutely great.” He internally slaps himself.

“You clean up nice,” you smile as your eyes elevate up and down the lean form of his body.

“Oh?” He asks, taken aback. 

In his daze, he never even realized what you’re thinking about him, rather only how intensely he was thinking about you.

“This must be the Jungkook that all the girls in college couldn’t stop begging me to hook them up with.”

His cheeks flame with sudden embarrassment, hand moving to the back of his neck to rub it awkwardly. 

“Ha, yeah,” he swallows. “You look r-really nice too. I don’t think I’ve seen you in a dress since your brother’s wedding.”

The smile that he’s rewarded with nearly knocks him on his ass. “Thanks! It’s fun to dress up cute again. Jin hated this dress.”

A stab of pain eeks its way into Jungkook’s heart. Seokjin. God, how he hates that man.

“Well, uh, you can wear whatever you want with me!” He assures. 

You loop your arm around Jungkook’s, saddling up to his side as you look at him expectantly.

“Well, are we going?”

Jungkook can’t help but smile at the sparkle in your eye, the way you peer up at him with those soft, cherry lips. He wants to capture them with his own, kiss you until you don’t remember Seokjin’s name ever again.

But he resists.

“Let’s go!”

You never thought you’d admit it to yourself. You never even thought it could happen. 

But the date is everything you’ve ever wanted, and more. 

Jungkook is still Jungkook, still just as silly and easy to talk to as he always is. 

But he’s also charming. Flirtatious, even. He holds doors open for you; he rests his hand on the small of your back as he guides you towards your table at dinner. He feeds you bites of his dessert and lets his eyes linger on the way your lips look wrapped around his fork. 

Jungkook treats you the way you’ve always wanted to be treated. Like someone he wants to cherish for the rest of your combined lives. Someone he wants to take care of, build a future with, enjoy life with.

And as much as it thrills you, it absolutely frightens you. 

It’s when you’re walking down the small river trail together that Jungkook slips his hand into yours and laces your fingers together. The once-steady beat of your heart becomes erratic. He continues chatting—as if holding your hand was a subconscious act for him. He’s knee deep in a story of his Minecraft server when you stop walking, causing him to pause. 

“What’s up?” He asks curiously. 

Your eyes glitter with anticipation, with fear, as you stare at the gorgeous man before you. He looks like a full course meal in his tight jeans and he makes you feel like a princess. You can suddenly see doing life by his side—no longer his platonic best friend, but as his lover and lifelong partner. 

You say nothing. Instead, you simply close the space between you two by grabbing the buttons of his shirt and tugging his lips onto yours. 

“Wha—oh, mmmmmm.”

Jungkook is still for a second as he battles the surprise, but jumps into action and cups your face with his hands, deepening the kiss by pushing his tongue past your lips and swirling it around your own. 

Your bodies press close together. He can feel your breasts against his chest and he desperately wants to rip the dress off your body and worship you like he’s always wanted to. 

As soon as the kiss started, it’s over. You’re pulling away with eyes wide with fear.

“I’m sorry, I—I need to go,” you stammer awkwardly.

Jungkook’s heart drops to his stomach.

“What? We were going to get ice cream?”

You can feel tears building in the corners of your eyes. You’re so confused, so unsure of what you’re feeling. You want to stay and kiss Jungkook until you’re clawing at the clothing on his body, pressing kisses to the firm column of his neck. You want to run far away, too scared to admit it to him you’re sure you could love him for the rest of his life.

You can’t lose that friendship. You can’t risk everything you love about Jungkook. He’ll only hurt you the way every boyfriend ever has.

“I don’t really feel well,” you swallow hard as you lie. Jungkook always knows when you’re lying.

His body stiffens.

“Okay, let me walk you home.”

You shake your head, already moving away from the man.

“It’s fine. We’re nearby. I’ll just run or something.”

He opens his mouth to protest, but you’ve already turned face and started running the direction away from him.

Jungkook watches, misty-eyed, as the girl of his dreams runs further and further away from him.

You’re sobbing as you finally reach home, out of breath and confused. The phone call to Namjoon is quick.

“Yo,” he says cooly as he answers the phone. His tone changes when he hears your whimpering sobs on the other end.

“Joonie,” you whisper. “I fucked up.”

“Oh god,” Namjoon quickly shuffles and calls his husband over, before putting the phone on speaker.

“What’s happened, baby?” Jimin’s sweet voice asks.

“I—I kissed him,” you sob, holding yourself close in the comfort of the elevator. 

Namjoon and Jimin look at each other with knowing looks.

“We’re on our way over.”

Jimin knows the first order of business is to stop the crying. He places sleeping baby Jisoo in your arms, which quiets your whimpers enough as you cling to the tiny baby. He knows your weakness is sleeping babies.

Namjoon looks on anxiously, hates seeing his little sister upset and with no way to make it better.

Jimin’s been asked to take the lead on this, because he knows his husband's response is to cry as well—he gets emotional anytime he sees her cry. Namjoon agreed, knowing Jimin was better suited for the conversation.

“Tell us what happened,” Jimin asks quietly. You’re rocking the baby gently, sobs turned to sniffles. “Did something go wrong on the date?”

Your eyes peer up at your brother-in-law’s, a wounded look that makes Jimin feel sad. Namjoon clenches beside him, and Jimin lays a hand on his lap to soothe the protective brother.

“No,” you whisper. “That’s the thing. It was an amazing date.”

Jimin watches you curiously, but remains silent to let you continue.

“We had dinner, and we played arcade games and we walked around. And he was so… fuck, he was perfect. It was like dating the guy of my dreams.”

Jimin nods knowingly.

“And it surprised you how much you liked him.”

“Yeah,” you sniffle. “At the end, he was holding my hand and just talking about normal, stupid Jungkook shit, but this time it felt like more. Like, I felt in my heart that I wanted to be the one he always talked to about it. I wanted to be the one he came home to at night.”

Jimin pats your cheek lovingly, the care for his sister-in-law clear in his gaze. 

“You don’t just like him, honey. I think you might even love him.”  

You pull baby Jisoo tighter into your grasp and nod, pathetic tears slipping down your face. 

“I just left him. Like, I ran away from him like an asshole.”

Namjoon grunts and takes a spot next to Jimin. “If he loves you, which I’m sure he does, he’ll still be waiting for you.”

Jimin nods and rests a hand on his husband's back. “But you better have one hell of an apology.”

Jungkook doesn’t answer your phone calls. He doesn’t respond to your texts, snapchats or Instagram DM’s. He doesn’t even look at the TikToks you sent him! It’s becoming infuriating to get in touch with him.

You take matters into your own hands and storm to his apartment after work, the rising tension in your shoulders and stomach full of rocks an indicator of your anxiety about the future of this relationship.

Jungkook opens the door wearing nothing but a pair of grey sweats. All the carefully crafted words exit your mind at light 

speed and you’re left gasping, wide-eyed at the chiseled body of your best friend.

“Can I help you?” He asks, tone flat.

Ouch.

You push past him into the apartment you know so well. “Yeah, you could start by answering your phone.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes and closes the door, then heads back towards the large gaming setup in the living room.

“My apologies for not responding to the girl who literally ran away from me on a date.”

Your cheeks heat uncomfortably as you stand in the center of his living room, arms crossed over your chest. 

“Jungkook, listen. I’m—”

“Please,” he shakes his head as he sits down at the impressive gaming chair. “Save the apologies. I get it.”

“You don’t get it!” You say, exasperated. “You don’t get any of it! That’s why I’m here.”

Jungkook narrows a look at you then stands from his chair. Slowly, he makes his way towards you and stands inches from your face. The proximity of his bare, toned chest to your body makes your throat dry.

“No, you don’t get it.” His voice is threateningly quiet, completely different from his usual chipper tone. 

“Jungkook, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” He quirks his head sarcastically, and you’re struck by the sharp lines of his jaw. “Sorry for running away from the date? Sorry for going on a date? Sorry for making me feel like I had a fucking chance when you kissed me?”

You swallow hard and open your mouth to reply, but he cuts you off.

“I’m sorry too. For giving myself way too much hope that this could ever be something. I’m sorry for myself for thinking you’d at least respect me enough to reject me politely.”

“You always had a chance!” You can feel tears building in your eyes and Jungkook feels his heart pound in his chest like a drum.

He scoffs, a harsh and mirthless laugh. “Clearly not.”

“I just—,” you start. “I never saw you like that before and suddenly you became everything I’ve ever dreamed of. It was like getting hit by a train, Kook! Suddenly my best friend turned into the man of my dreams.”

He shakes his head, stepping back away from you.

“I really find it hard to believe you,” he whispers. “I can’t let myself hope.”

“Jungkook, please,” you beg as tears start slipping down your face. “Please believe me.”

“Just leave,” he sighs. “I hate making you cry.”

You want so badly to wrap yourself in his arms, cry into his chest like you always do when you’re hurt. But you stand still, frozen in your shame and embarrassment of hurting your best friend so badly.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, before you spin around as quickly as you can and leave Jungkook’s apartment in a flurry.

He watches as the door slams behind you, eyes full of sadness and regret. As much as he wants to believe you, have faith in every word you said, he can’t allow himself to get his hopes up again.

He can’t watch you run away from him again.

“Welcome back to Kookie’s Wild Weekly Walkthrough!” Jungkook cheers as enthusiastically as he can through his microphone. “The weekly segment where I react to your Minecraft worlds!”

Jungkook needed to dive back into streaming to take his mind off of you. He hasn’t left his apartment in days, only subsisting on takeout and coffee. At least he was making more money and his subscribers didn’t seem to mind the up-tick in content.

“Tonight I’ll be walking through a creation sent by,” he squints at the username. “‘Kookiesgal95’ Aww that’s cute.”  

He readies the content and starts his camera as he watches the YouTube link. His subscribers love his reaction videos—it’s a highly requested segment.

The video starts off easily, a generic Minecraft world that looks like a park.

“Hi Kook.”

The voice that reverberates through his headphones makes him pause the video quickly, wide-eyed with recognition.

It’s you. He’d know that voice from a million others. 

Shit. He’s going to have to edit so much of this clip. He’s staring at the screen as if he’s just seen a ghost.

Unsteadily, he clicks play again and watches as you lead him through your Minecraft creation.

“I wanted to recreate something for someone very special in my life.”

Jungkook doesn’t even bother to react to this anymore. This entire video is going to be worthless—there’s nothing he can say.

The video pans around the Minecraft setup and he can see what looks like handmade swings and merry go rounds.

“It took me a really long time to do this and an embarrassing amount of help from some twelve-year-olds on the internet.”

He laughs and is stunned by the wet tears rolling down his cheeks. He hadn’t realized he was crying.

“I re-created a park that is really special to my best friend and I.”

He feels his chest tighten and relax. The park. 

“This is the spot where he held me when my dog died when I was nine. I still miss that dog.”

The view is on a spot next to a blocky oak tree. Jungkook remembers that day, remembers your heartbroken sobs as he whispered words of comfort to you. He misses that dog, too. 

“This is where he and my brother got in a fight when we were eleven, because my brother called me a stupid-head. My best friend has always been protective of me, even from my own big brother.”

He can still remember pushing Namjoon around after hearing him call you names. He pushed Namjoon over and threatened to use his “big muscles” if he did it again.

The camera pans to an enormous structure, rather sloppily made, of a slide and monkey bars.

“This is where we first shared a joint in high school. I coughed a lung up and he ran down the street to a gas station at ten pm to get me a bottle of water even though I told him I was okay,”

The memory of the bewildered 7-11 employee plays through his mind. The man watched as a very stoned, very out of breath, Jungkook paid for a bottle of water in coins.

The video continues playing, moves towards what appears to be a parking lot made of cobblestone blocks.

“This is where he held me when my world fell apart.”

The break-up. The way you cried and cried and cried in his arms and he held you as if you were the only thing left on Earth. 

“This is where he reminded me I’m worthy of love, that I’m not broken. This is where he held me like I was delicate, but treated me like I was unbreakable.”

His tears don’t stop. Jungkook feels his heart thundering in his chest like a summer storm. 

He can hear your sniffles through the recording of the video—you were crying too. It pans around to the swing set.

“And this is where I’ll tell him everything, tonight. Where I’ll tell him how deeply I love him and how I want to make him the happiest guy in the world. In all of Minecraft and beyond. I hope he comes.”

Jungkook doesn’t even bother turning his camera off.

Instead, he’s running to change out of his three-day-old clothes and bolt out the door.

The creaky, rusty metal of the swing set is deafeningly loud in the silence of your park.

It’s dark, just a few street lights around to illuminate the perimeter, but it’s otherwise only lit by the moon.

It’s getting cold. You shiver in your hoodie and kick at the dirt under your swing. 

Maybe he didn’t see the video. Maybe he wasn’t going to show.

Maybe it was too late.

You spent hours working on the Minecraft world, staying up at all hours of the night to build and craft a poor re-creation of this park. The twelve-year-olds on Reddit had been invaluable and Namjoon definitely made fun of you for your creative assistants. But it had all been worth it. 

“Fuck,” you speak out loud to no one, as you try to warm your hands in the pockets of your sweater. “It’s cold.”

“You should have brought a jacket.”

The sudden voice from behind startles you. You hop off the swing and whip around to face  down the intruder.

Jungkook.

He looks so good. He’s wearing a thick coat and tight jeans. Your eyes take a delicious journey from head to toe.

He can’t help but preen at your blatant appreciation. He enjoys knowing you’re attracted to him, at least physically.

“You came.”

He nods and takes a nervous step towards you. He’s still far away, more than an arm's-reach away. You’re desperate to bring him closer, to pull him tight against your body and wrap yourself around him. You never want to be without his gentle touch again.

“I felt pretty compelled to come after you made all this in Minecraft for me.” He cracks a wry smile, a boy-ish grin that makes your heart flutter.

“It took me twenty-five hours and some teenagers to help.”

He laughs, a beautiful sound that warms you. “I’m sure they were ecstatic to help.”

You chew at the inside of your cheek, nervous at what he thinks about your in-game confession.

“Did you mean it?” He asks. He steps closer—one more step.

“Every word.”

His eyes are searching yours for the truth, desperately diving into the depths for validity.

“Why did you run away?” Another step.

You swallow hard, heavy tears brimming in your eyes.

“You went from being the silly best friend to being the person I could spend the rest of my life with. It all hit me. It’s always been you.”

One more step and now he’s just within your reach. If you stuck your hand out, your fingers would graze the soft puff of his coat, the delicate skin of his neck. 

“I’ve always felt that way about you. I never thought you’d feel the same.”

You smile softly, timidly. “It just took me a little while longer to realize it.”

All at once, Jungkook closes the gap and holds you gently by your cheeks. His thumbs wipe at the moisture under your eyes. 

“I promise to never make you cry again,” he whispers reverently. 

“And I promise to never run away from you again.” 

Jungkook smiles at that, cradling your face like you’re the most expensive and precious jewel. 

“Can I kiss you again?” He asks, somewhat unsure of himself. 

“I would like it if you would.”

As Jungkook presses his cold, plush lips to your own, you make a promise to yourself to never go a day without kissing him again. 

“I can’t believe you’re in my bedroom,” Jungkook murmurs as he kisses at your face. After the park, Jungkook loaded you into his priceless Nissan and scurried home. You could hardly keep your hands off him as he drove you back to his place—reaching and caressing the spots on his body you’re dying to become familiar with. 

“I’ve been in your bedroom before,” you remind him as he tugs up the hoodie you’re wearing. 

“God, don’t be so semantic when I’m trying to fuck you,” he says before throwing the hoodie to a corner of the room. “You know what I mean.”

Jungkook kisses you again, all lips and teeth and tongue. He kisses you like you’re the last breath of air, and he’s greedy for every bit. He grips your hips, not too tight, and brings your body against his. You can feel him grow in hardness in his too tight, and it feels like bliss. 

Teasingly, you grind your hips against his, making him shudder with desire.

“I want you,” he whines as he nibbles at your lip. 

“Really? I couldn’t tell.”

He opens his eyes to level a look at you, pulling his mouth away from yours. 

“You’re such a little smartass.”

His hands become feverish on your jeans, tugging apart the button and flicking down the fly. He pushes them down quickly, and you kick them off carelessly. 

He can’t stop looking at you in your bra and panties, standing at the foot of his bed. 

“Holy shit, okay, this is happening, right? Like, this is real?” 

You smirk, pleased with Jungkook’s obvious excitement. 

“Let me prove it’s not just a dream.” 

Softly, you spin Jungkook around and push him down to sit on his bed. He complies easily, eyes wide and excited. 

“If this is a dream, would you be able to feel this?” You ask as you unbuckle  his belt and open his jeans. He doesn’t reply, simply watches you as you tug his jeans down to his thighs. 

His cock strains hard against his tight boxers, and you run a teasing finger over the obvious bulge. 

“Oh fuck,” he breathes. 

“Feels pretty real, huh?”

“Y-yeah.” 

Your delicate hands gently tug at the waistband of his boxers and easily work them down enough to free the length of his cock. It springs out easily and your eyes widen at the impressive size. You assumed he would be at least average, but you’re looking at something definitely more. 

“Oh wow,” you whisper. “You’re fucking huge.” 

Jungkook grins. “All for you, baby.” The cockiness is palpable. 

One solid grip around him wipes the presumptuous smile off his face, replaced with a gasping, shuddering moan. 

“How about this? Not a dream?”

He struggles to find his voice, instead he’s gulping for air like a fish out of water. 

“That’s what I thought,” you whisper before settling into a position on your knees. “I’ll admit, I’ve dreamt about this too. I always felt so ashamed for dreaming about sucking my best friend's cock.”

You press soft kisses to the head of his length, teasing the sensitive areas at the tip before kissing up and down the length. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

His evident desire for you encourages you, and your tongue swipes at the crown of his tip and swirls around it gently. 

“Oh my god.” His eyes shutter closed and you trace the veins in his dick with your tongue. 

“This h-has to be a dreeeaaaaam,” he whines as you make an exceptionally long stripe with the flat of your tongue. 

You pull off for a moment, humming. He springs his eyes open and watches as you reach behind your back and unsnap your bra. Your breasts escape with a bounce and his eyes widen, nearly bulging out of their sockets. 

“What the fuck,” he whines. “You have the most amazing tits.”

He reaches out to grasp them and you slap them away playfully. 

“Not yet,” you smirk. “Still trying to convince you you’re not asleep.” 

He sucks in his breath and puts his hands back to the bed to steady himself, eyes never leaving yours (except to stare at the luscious curves of your body). 

Grasping your breasts in both hands, you smash them together lightly in an elaborate show of what Jungkook wants most. You lean over his body and place the throbbing thickness of his cock in between your tits, allowing him to feel just how soft and warm they are. 

“Shit!” He yelps, grabbing his sheets in a tight fist. “Are you really tit-fucking me right now?!”

Slowly, you lift your body up and down, allowing his cock to feel each stroke of your breasts. You nod at his question and continue to pump up and down. 

“Still dreaming?” 

He whines and shakes his head, already feeling so close to the edge. His cock is slick from your teasing licks and the pressure of your tits surrounding him had his mind spinning with desire. 

“Ahhh, I’m so fucking close,” he warns.

You continue, speeding up the friction and pressure of your strokes. 

“I want you to cum on me, Kook,” you whisper encouragingly. “Cum on my tits, please?”

Jungkook feels like he’s a wire about to snap, and your thick, sultry voice and incredibly perfect breasts are the snips that breaks him apart. 

“Oh, shit,” he grunts. “Gonna paint your titties white, baby.”

His moans echo around the walls of his bedroom, small gasps of pleasure and your name escaping his perfectly plump pout. 

His hot load splatters on your chest, and you stroke him through each pulse of his cock. You’re slippery with his seed now, and when you pull away from his spent length, you make a show of rubbing in his cum over your chest.

“Okay, definitely not dreaming,” he says in a daze as he watches you lift a wet finger to your mouth, popping it in to clean it off. “Who knew you were so fucking kinky?” 

His confidence grows as he catches his breath. He can’t believe he’s sitting on his bed with you on your knees, breasts covered in his load. You’re suckling the cum off your finger like it’s his cock, and he’s desperate for more.

“There are lots of things you don’t know about me,” you shrug. 

Swiftly, he grabs you gently by your bicep and pulls you close, sucking at your lips until you’re both standing. 

“I plan to find out everything.” 

Suddenly, you’re switching positions and Jungkook is pushing you down into the bed. You lay flat in the center, body relaxed and eager for your best friend.

“What are you doing?” You ask. He’s still standing at the end of the bed, watching you get comfortable. Once he’s satisfied that you’re lying exactly how you want, he settles himself by your feet.

“Worshipping you,” he says as he lifts an ankle and presses gentle kisses to your calf. “Showing you how much I adore you.” More kisses, soft and sweet. “Showing you how I plan on treating you for the rest of your life.” 

He takes his time, lavishing your legs with his mouth. He kisses and sucks at any spot, sexual or not. He mouths at the roundness of your knees, your firm hamstrings. He presses his love into the skin of your thighs, mouthing his praises with each kiss. 

He reaches the dip of your hips and he gently kisses your exposed skin as he tugs your cotton panties off you. 

“I have loved every inch of you since before I can remember,” he praises as his lips skim over the mound of your cunt. “And I don’t plan on stopping soon.” 

Your body feels like it’s on fire, as if Jungkook lights a match at every spot his lips press against. Your eyes close, and you allow Jungkook to continue his pious worship of your body. 

He teases around your folds, kissing your labia ever so gently—making you gasp. He doesn’t linger long, only kisses you enough to stir the licking flames of heat in your belly.  

He kisses at your stomach, gently nibbling and laving at the softness there. You try to hide from him, try to hide your insecurities of your body in his thorough exploration, but he moves your hands. 

“I know you don’t like this part of your body,” he murmurs. His voice is so soft, so pure and sincere. “But I do. I love everything about you.” 

His tongue swirls around your belly button, making you gasp at the ticklish sensation. 

“You’re so pretty. So perfect.” 

He continues upwards, lips now trailing to your full breasts. He takes his time there, licking and kissing and flicking at your nipples with his tongue. It feels exhilarating—Jungkook’s mouth feels like everything you want it to feel like. His tongue is warm, and he bites with just enough pressure to make your back arch off the bed into his embrace.

His hands explore, taking stock of every millimeter of skin he can find. He wants to memorize every freckle, every bump, every scar and line. Your body is his paradise, and all he can think of is you, you, you.

One hand travels down your body as he moves his lips up your neck. It snakes down your stomach and deftly slides over your soaked core. You whine as you feel his fingers part your folds and dip into the wetness.

“So wet,” he says out loud, verbalizing every tantalizing detail of your body. “So perfect.”

His lips are finally at your own and you kiss him passionately, tongue swirling around his as he slides his two fingers past your clit and into your drenched hole. You gasp against his mouth, eyes widening as he slowly scissors his fingers into you and pumps slowly. It’s almost teasing, the way he fucks his fingers in you. Slow, firm movements with his powerful hands.

“Jungkook!” You gasp. He doesn’t reply, instead he bites at your lip and tugs, then trails his hot mouth back down to your nipples. He can’t get enough of your breasts and the slightly salty taste of him still lingering.

“You feel so good,” he says as he speeds his fingers up minutely. “So tight and wet for me.”

Your hips writhe in need. He’s giving you what you need, but not enough. You need more, more. You want to feel him, all of him, spearing you open.

“Please, Kook,” you groan. “I need you.”

He laughs softly against your nipple and sucks extra hard, letting it pop out of his mouth audibly.

“And I need you, my love.”

“Fuck me, please.” You’re desperate, thighs quaking from the slow teasing. “I want you to fuck me, Jungkook.”

Chills shudder down Jungkook’s spine and he’s powerless to say no, not when you demand it so well.

“With pleasure,” he agrees. He pulls his fingers from within you and copies your move, sliding them into his mouth to suck your essence off. 

He’s never looked sexier. His eyes are dark chocolate pools of burning intensity, and you feel your breath become shaky as you watch him clean his fingers with precision.

After he’s deemed his fingers sufficiently clean, he settles himself between your legs. Easily, he lifts your hips and shoves a pillow underneath, elevating you to a more comfortable position. He grabs your legs and tosses each over his shoulders so they’re higher in the air. 

“I’m going to fuck you so good, baby,” he promises as he rubs the tip of his cock on your soppy slit. “Condom?”

You shake your head, appreciative of his question but desperate to feel him completely.

“Birth control. Regularly tested. Haven’t had sex in a while,” you blurt out. “You good?”

He nods in agreement. “Same. Well, except the birth control. But, I’d take it if they made it for men.”

“Jungkook!” You whine. Your best friend is so easily sidetracked. “Please, can you fuck me?”

He grins. “Tsk, someone is impatient.”

A low moan is rumbling in your chest as he continues to rub his thick cock at your entrance.

“I swear to god, you’re the biggest tease.”

“Oh, I’m definitely the biggest.”

Before you can react, he’s pushing past your entrance and sliding deep in your walls. Your position makes his cock feel deep, and he bottoms out and stills there, eyes closed in bliss.

“Holy shit,” he gasps. “This is absolutely the best pussy I’ve ever felt.”

You wiggle your hips as you get used to the sensation of the delicious stretch.

“Please don’t tell me how many pussies you’ve felt when you’re balls deep inside of me.”

Jungkook turns his head and kisses at your legs resting on his shoulders, lavishing them with his praise once more as he keeps his cock buried inside your tight heat.

“Yours is the only one that matters. The only pussy I’ll ever be in for the rest of my life.”

“That’s a good answer,” you smile. “Now, fuck me, lover boy.”

Jungkook winks and grips your hips with his hands. He swiftly pulls out, enamored with the way his cock is already covered in your creamy essence, then eagerly pushes back in. He sets a pace and soon the sound of skin clapping on skin echoes around the room.

“Oh god!” You’re moaning loudly, unabashedly. You’re thankful that Jungkook’s old roommate, Yoongi, moved out to live with his boyfriend Hoseok months ago. He’d definitely complain about the noise for months. “Fuck, Jungkook, you feel so good.”

Jungkook fucks into you with ferocity, speed and power gradually rising as he feels his core tighten with the coming anticipation of release.

“Mmm, you look so fucking sexy like this,” he murmurs. “Getting fucked by your best friend’s fat cock.”

He moves a hand from your hip, trails it up your body to squeeze at your breast, before he’s cupping your face once again. His hips snap against yours and he loves the way your mouth utters little squeaks and gasps with each deep thrust into you.

“God, my beautiful girl,” he groans. “Can’t wait to cum in this pussy, shit, you got me so fucking close.”

You open your mouth desperately and Jungkook easily slips his thumb in. You latch on quickly and suck, tongue swirling around the tip like you’re sucking another cock. It nearly sends him over the edge and the speed of his hips matches his desperate need for more.

“Fucking hell,” he bites back. He can feel his belly tighten, driven further and further to the edge by the constricting wetness of your cunt. 

He pulls his thumb out and moves it down to where his cock spears into you, allowing your spit to swirl with his thumb around your clit. Your core tightens around him at the added stimulation and your back arches up in ecstasy.

“I’m so c-close, Kook,” you plead, as if begging for mercy. “Please, I want to cum so bad.”

The speed of his thumb increases, and he watches as your face twists in pleasure and desperation. 

“Cum on my cock, baby, let me see you fall apart. Show me what I’ve dreamt of for so long.”

A high and wanton cry ripples out of your body as he savagely increases his speed, both his cock and thumb working overtime to drive you towards your end. The butterflies that erupt in your lower stomach make your moans louder, higher. You’re so close, closer than ever. It’s building to an incredible crescendo.

He can tell you’re close—he sees it on your face as your back arches and your fists grip his sheets.

“You look like a fucking angel, baby,” he whines as he soaks in the vision of you writhing underneath him. “I bet you cum like an angel, too. Let me see it, let me see.”

With just a few more swirls of his thumb and his deep, hard strokes, you’re soaring over the edge into a pool of nothingness. Your cunt pulsates wildly around his length, milking and stroking it with your tight walls. You throw your head back, moaning out his name at the top of his lungs, letting his neighbors know just who fucks you so well.

“Holy shit,” he gasps, hips stuttering as he fucks into your juicy hole. “That was so fucking sexy.”

You grip his forearms, holding onto him tight and encourage him to go harder. “Cum inside me, Kookie, please. I’m all yours, make me yours.”

His heart feels like it might burst in his chest. He’s always wanted you to say it to him, to hand over your love to him like he does so easily to you. It’s all so much, so overwhelming, and the feeling of your hot cunt still fluttering around him sends him reeling into his own completion. 

He spills into you, warm seed coating your walls and pooling inside your womb. He fucks himself through each throb of his cock until he’s sure he’s drained every ounce of himself into you.

Your legs slip off his shoulders easily, and he gently pulls himself out of you. He falls beside you, panting with exertion, and wraps an arm around you.

After a few silent moments of catching your breath, Jungkook pulls you in close to him until he can koala-cling to you, arms and legs both wrapped around your body.

“Mine,” he whispers as he kisses your head. “All mine.”

You return the favor, clinging to your best friend—boyfriend—like he’s your only lifeline.

“All yours.”

“So, you’re telling me, you got together because of Minecraft?” Jimin asks, pointing a fork in your direction. It’s been months now since your grand virtual declaration of love for Jungkook. Months of bliss and romance, laughter and companionship. 

You were right all along. Jungkook is everything you’ve wanted in a man and more.

You’re sitting at your brother’s expensive dinner table, enjoying a meal with his family with your boyfriend at your side.

“Yeah, Jimin, I guess that’s what I’m saying,” you retort as you roll your eyes. “Minecraft and Tinder.”

Baby Jisoo is awake and in your brother’s arms, but she’s whining and wiggling to leave him.

“What’s wrong, Soo?” Namjoon asks with a pout on his lips. “Why don’t you want daddy anymore?”

Jimin snorts at his husband and you hold out your arms for your baby niece. “Come here, baby, I know you want auntie.”

Namjoon dutifully hands over his daughter, sulking that he’s been picked over for his sister. 

You cradle the baby in your arms, expecting her to calm once she’s there, but she continues to fuss. She’s thrusting her arms out and nearly crying, reaching towards Jungkook who’s busy chowing down on Jimin’s homemade ramen.

“I think she wants you, Kook,” you murmur. He looks at you, then to the baby, then back to you, before he wipes his hands and face clean with a napkin.

“Oh, okay,” he whispers, slowly taking the baby from your arms with your help. “Hello, ma’am.”

Namjoon and Jimin laugh. “She’s a baby, Jungkook, not an elderly woman,” your brother teases.

Jungkook doesn’t listen. He’s too busy cooing at the baby in his arms and playing with her tiny hands. Namjoon turns his attention away and looks at you.

“Guess I won’t be the only provider of grandchildren for much longer.”

You playfully glare at him and turn away to watch your boyfriend. Watching Jungkook interact with your niece makes your heart swell, your soul sing. He’d be a perfect father.

“I swear, if he teaches her how to play Minecraft, he’s banned from the household,” Jimin grumbles. “This is a No-Nerd-Zone.”

Jungkook cradles the child and rocks back and forth, singing her a soft, made-up song, before he looks over at you.

“Hey, I want one of these,” he smiles. “Can we have one?”

You lay a hand on your stomach, a soft bump not quite visible yet. It’s only been one test, the lines faintly indicating ‘positive’ on the stick. You wanted to make sure, get confirmation before you spill the beans.

“Sure, Kookie.”

He grins and leans over to kiss you, before turning his attention back to the baby. “Okay, Jisoo, now let me tell you all about the Endermen.”

Jimin groans. “Oh my god, do not give Minecraft facts to my infant!”

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