#like BAM BYE BYE ASSHOLES

[honeysunchild]

Parents really will have kids on purpose and then spend the next twenty or so years punishing that child for being alive and having needs

[whyse7vn]

I’M SORRY -

[ ot7 x reader ]

JUNGKOOK -

jk: i’m sorry

jk: didn’t mean to make you upset :(

i hope i die

i should get jumped

barely survive

be on life support until i’m 50

and when i wake up die from the most painful heart attack recorded

i hope no one attends my funeral and i’m publicly and privately made fun of even after i’ve passed

hope my parents are ashamed and i hope that whenever the name jungkook is said people feel sick to their stomachs

i’m gonna throw up

gonna choke myself to death

i have the tightest grip on my throat rn

i’m going red

it’s fading to black

i’m sorry i wasn’t being a good boyfriend

tell bam that his dad was an asshole who didn’t deserve any rights

don’t even let him remember me as his father

i don’t deserve that title

i don’t deserve anything

not after what i did

burn all my clothes

delete all my pictures

tear my face off all posters

cross my name off all paperwork

i am not worthy of anything

y/n: shut up

jk: i’m sorry

y/n: i can tell

jk: i didn’t mean it

y/n: i forgive you

jk: really?

y/n: yeah

jk: do you really or are joking?

if ur joking it’s not a funny joke

y/n: you can come back home now

jk: really 🥺?

y/n: don’t ever use that emoji again

jk: sorry

i’m coming

omw

i love you

this is so great

y/n: you’re so dramatic

jk: i’m sorry

y/n: stop apologising

jk: sorry

i mean

ok

love u

y/n: hurry up

jk: 🏃‍♂️

SEOKJIN -

jin: can you talk to me now

hey

hey

hey

hey

hey

hey

hey

hey

i’m going to kms and it gonna be all your fault if you don’t reply to me

y/n: record it

jin: hey loml 😘😘❤️❤️❤️🤗🤗

WAIT WTF

THATS SO SICK?/?:£:££.&.&.&&.

y/n: what do you want?

jin: i love you ❤️💓🩷

y/n: bye

jin: WAITTTT :(((((((((((((((

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

y/n: what

jin: i’m outside 🤭🤗❤️

y/n: stay outside

jin: am i a dog?????

DON’T ANSWER THAT

anyways

i’ve come to see you princess 😘❤️‍🔥

y/n: gross

go home

jin: i am home 🥺

y/n: ur at MY home

jin: tu casa es mi casa 😚

y/n: that is not how that phrase goes

jin: let me inside pookie it’s cold 😍

y/n: you should have a key if it’s ur house

jin: LET ME IN IM TRYING SOSOSOSO HARD

FUCK YOU

ITS COLD

MY HAIR IS WET

IM DISTRESSED

LET ME INNNNNNNN

y/n: it took you 3 minutes

to be an asshole again

jin: :((((

i really tried that time

i can’t help it

this is real this is me

i was born this way

you can’t change me

ur the asshole if we think about it why are you trying to change people?? let the world know you LOSER

y/n: fyi you can stay outside

jin: PLS NOOOO PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS

y/n: “pls” doesn’t really sound like sorry to me…

jin: I SAID IM SORRY

I DIDN’T MEAN TO SHOUTT

IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRYYYYYYYYYYY

i love you

this is kinda sadistic if you think about it

didn’t know you was a freak like that bae

it’s okay i kinda like it

how about you let me in now

or do you want me to beg more???

pls oh plsssss let me in 🥺

i’ll never be mean again i promise 😇

pls 😚

hello??

babe??????

fr this isn’t funny

hello

HELLO

OPEN THE DOOR PLS

HELLLOOOO

OMH

HELLLLO

pls

i’m fr sorry

i mean it like genuinely

hello

…

okay let’s stop now

…………..

HELLLLO

fuck you

HOSEOK -

hobi: this fighting stuff kinda boring now

….

hello

i’m sorry

BOOOO

:(((

y/n: you can’t just walk out the house mid argument

hobi: in my defence u were being mean

y/n: so were you???

hobi: ??

y/n: be honest are you fr gonna just leave like that when things get hard?

hobi: i mean i might

y/n: …

hobi: things were pretty hard

y/n: AS MAN OF THE HOUSE YOU SHOULD OF GOT RID OF THE SPIDER

hobi: AS A FEMINIST I LEFT YOU TO TAKE CARE OF IT TO HELP YOU FEEL EMPOWERED

y/n: fuck you don’t come home

hobi: i would never lie to u bae 🙏🏼

and i would never suppress a moment for a woman to feel empowered

y/n: don’t actually fucking speak to me

hobi: ily

cheer up baby cheer up baby

y/n: picked the wrong member

jungkook would of helped me

hobi: omg????????

are you fr?

y/n: would never lie to you bae 🙏🏽

hobi: ….

JIMIN -

jimin:

y/n: ???

jimin: are you still mad at me?

y/n: yes jimin wtf

jimin: do you want to have sex?

y/n: yes jimin wtf

jimin: love you

y/n: whatever

jimin: say it back

y/n: i won’t

jimin: you will

y/n: definitely will not

jimin: i’ll sing for you

y/n: no thanks

jimin: no thanks?

y/n: no thanks.

jimin: you say that like i’m bad at singing

y/n: eh

jimin: eh?

y/n: eh.

jimin: i won’t have sex with you

y/n: aw man

jimin: don’t sound too sad

y/n: ok

jimin: you should be

y/n: i’m not

jimin: i go crazy in bed yk?

y/n: that is the ugliest thing you have ever said to me

jimin: if ur not in love with me just say that

y/n: i won’t

jimin: so ur IN love with me is what i’m hearing

y/n: ur not hearing anything cuz we are messaging rn

jimin: can you just tell me you love me like a normal person?

y/n: you don’t deserve it

jimin: okay maybe that’s true

but you should do it just once

pretty pls with a cherry on top 🥺

y/n: i’ll punch you

jimin: maybe i’ll enjoy it

y/n: nasty

jimin: kiss me

y/n: where are you?

jimin: ur really gonna kiss me?

y/n: ur talking long to tell me where you are so ig i’m not

jimin: joon’s studio

y/n: maybe i’m omw

jimin: ur so in love with me it’s kinda gross 🤭

YOONGI -

yoongi: :3

y/n: die tbh

yoongi: :3

y/n: your stupid faces mean nothing to me

yoongi: :3

y/n: …

yoongi: :33333

y/n: i hate you

yoongi: :Ɛ

y/n: ew wtf how did you do that

yoongi: Ɛ:

y/n: stop omg

yoongi: i’m sorry :3

y/n: cool

yoongi: i’m fr :3

y/n: idc :3

yoongi: you used the face :3

ur not mad :3

y/n: ur logic is wrong

yoongi: bring the face back :3

and it’s not logic it’s common sense :3

y/n: ur wrong

yoongi: never been wrong a day in my life :3

y/n: that’s crazy

so when you shouted at me for no reason you weren’t in the wrong?

good to know

yoongi: okay i never said that :3

y/n: but you did

yoongi: ur being annoying :3

y/n: fuck you

DID YOU JUST SEND ME 10K?????????

yoongi: did i? :3

y/n: you can’t just buy my forgiveness

yoongi: i can’t? :3

y/n: this is not how relationships work yoongi

yoongi: this is how our relationship works :3

y/n: no it’s not

STOP SENDING ME MONEY OMG?:£:£:’

yoongi: :3

y/n: you are still not forgiven leave me alone

yoongi: unforgiven i’m a villain :3

y/n: SEND ANOTHER 10k AND UR GETTING BLOCKED

yoongi: ur making me real upset rn :3

y/n: go back to work

yoongi: stop being mad at me :3

y/n: die

yoongi: don’t say that i’m about to get on a plane :3

y/n: now i feel bad

yoongi: say sorry :3

y/n: nvm

yoongi: :(

look you’ve made me change faces hope you feel bad :(

y/n: i don’t

yoongi: ur sick and twisted :(

y/n: cry about it

yoongi: really hope i survive this plane ride :(

y/n: i will not be guilt tripped by you

yoongi: you told me to die knowing i was getting on a plane :(

y/n: bye

yoongi: what if i had a deep deep fear of flying and u made that fear 10x worse rn :(

y/n: you don’t

yoongi: you don’t know a thing :(

y/n: fuck you

yoongi: do you really want ur last words to me be fuck you :(

y/n: fly safe

TAEHYUNG -

y/n: no

tae: hiiiiiiii

wtf how did you know

y/n: blocked

tae: NONONONONONO

y/n: you have one minute

go

tae: i am walking alone rn

y/n: ???

tae: on the street

y/n: ok?

tae: alone

y/n: you said that

tae: ALONE

ALL ALONE

y/n: right

tae: it’s not right actually

ITS VERY FAR FROM RIGHT

i’m ALONE

do you know what could happen to me rn?

i could literally be snatched up off the street by anyone

y/n: hopefully it’s a rehabilitation centre 🙏🏽

tae: WHAG IS UR PROBLEM

IM ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE

ME

KIM TAEHYUNG ALONE ON THE STREET

WHAT ARE YOU NOT GETTING HERE?

y/n: ur one minute is up

tae: no it’s not

can you pls care for me rn i’m stressed out

y/n: it was pretty stressful when you stood me up yesterday

but i powered through 💪🏽

i’m sure you can do the same!!!

tae: that never happened

pls let’s pretend that never happened

i’m the perfect boyfriend i swear

y/n: get lost

like actually

never come back

tae: 😢

you don’t even mean that

y/n: are you sure?

tae: IM SORRY PLS PLSPLSSSSSS

forgive me

y/n: no

tae: you can have my card

y/n: don’t want it

tae: take my house

i’ll give you my keys rn

y/n: i have ur keys

tae: you do?

you thief omg

give them back

y/n: you left them here???

after YOU stormed out my house after you made ME upset

tae: oh yeah

i’m coming back now

y/n: asshole

tae: let’s put this behind us and move on

that’s a great idea i say

y/n: you are single

tae: don’t say that

y/n: said it

tae: we are actually engaged and expecting our 10th child

y/n: you are single

tae: top 10 singles

made a few of those in my time

LOL

i’m funny right

say i’m funny

y/n: it’s painful talking to you

tae: painfully in love with me are you?

y/n: it’s like i’m taking to a brick wall

you have like selective hearing

tae: what i’m hearing is you want to kiss me on the lips?

y/n: call an ambulance

tae: feeling so much love for me ur throwing up?

???

hello

oh

ok

maybe i do deserve this

NAMJOON -

y/n: would you now like to explain why the hell you sent halsey flowers on MY birthday??

namjoon: it wasn’t just on ur birthday i’ve been sending them all week for like a month now

y/n: namjoon what the fuck??

namjoon: i’m confused

y/n: UR confused????

do you like her or something?

namjoon: ofc i like her!

y/n: so ur cheating?

namjoon: what

y/n: ur cheating on me and you have no shame???

what the actual fuck is wrong with you??

namjoon: i’m not cheating?

y/n: for a month now you’ve been sending another girl that you like flowers

EVERY WEEK???

namjoon: every friday

y/n: fuck you

namjoon: i’m confused how that’s cheating when you told me to do that?

y/n: WHEN HAVE I EVER SAID “OH NAMJOON SEND OTHER BITCHES FLOWERS”

namjoon: you literally said you loved how halsey’s bf gave her flowers every week and that you wished i did that?

y/n: ….

there is no way

….

namjoon

oh my god

kim fucking namjoon

LMAOOSO ARE YOU FR?

namjoon: what??? i’m so confused pls tell me what i did wrong

i would never cheat on you

ur freaking me out

y/n: think about it

why would i wish you sent halsey flowers?

think

like really think

namjoon: IDK i was confused as hell but you seemed like you really wanted me to

so i did

y/n: i meant i wanted you to buy ME flowers you idiot omg

namjoon: oh

that makes a lot more sense

y/n: yeah

you are the dumbest smart man i’ve ever met

namjoon: my fault

i get confused sometimes 😞

y/n: i love you

namjoon: i love you too

ur not mad anymore?

y/n: could never be mad at you silly

[lucky-cat-cafe]

Things I want to see in Only Friends but one episode is by far not enough for any of that.

SandRay: I want to see Ray in rehab, I want to see how he struggles, how he relapses because so far it all looks like he's just fine going and nothing bad will happen. I want Sand to be by his side through his struggles and I wanna SEE it. Not just hear it or get a time skip being like...oh yeah, Ray went through his rehab and now is living happily ever after with Sand in his mansion and they're flying around the globe to see all the musicians. Okay bye that's it for Only Friends. Thank you for sticking with us through 12 painful, short episodes. No. I wanna SEE all of that. There either has to be a Season 2 or a SandRay spin-off, I don't care. I want it. Give it to me. All their scenes give me life and I know I’m extremely biased towards them but I can’t help it. They’re just so cute and as a Sand stan I just want him to be happy and appreciated and if Ray is that person than I’m 100% here for it. Given Ray had many eye-openers as well he will be that person. They’re good for each other and I am happy if they get that happy ending.

Sand and his dad: I want Sand to talk to his dad because I am 100% pretty damn sure he had the intention to say something after they talked for that short time in that episode before Ray interrupted for that heartwrenching short scene of them hugging. I wanna see more of his dad in general because they've been building up to this because why talk so much about him and show several scenes of Sand being at that club to see him perform when nothing comes of it. I wanna know who his dad is, I wanna know why the parents aren't together anymore. I wanna know more background on all of Sand's upbringing. Which brings me to his mum...I just want more of her. Period. I love her. That scene with her and Ray was everything. She's such a stable figure in Sand's life, guiding him while he supports her and now she's even guiding Ray because she's a mum and she knows her son and she knows about them and knows they're good for each other. I like supportive parental figures.

BostonNick: Same as with SandRay I wanna see the developement of their relationship. Nick didn't actually say yes officially to Boston's proposal of them being boyfriends until he leaves for NY. Nick also giving Boston a reality check with what he said to Atom about “don’t get attached to assholes”. He was literally calling Boston out at the same time which given Boston’s reaction, he knew it as well. Boston had a lot of eye-opening moments in the past 2 episodes so I hope they can make it work somehow. Whether Nick says yes or no, we’ll see. However, if he does I want them to like get attached and I want to see them develop the relationship. I want Boston to go to NY and them missing each other and Nick to be thinking about following Boston. I know, cliché, but I could totally see that. But I don't want him to just drop everything and follow Boston blindly. I want them to communicate and for Nick to say that he will finish his internship or whatever he does, to think about himself as well, and then maybe follow Boston later to pursue a career in NY because he'd be doing well in the US with animation. New York, the city of unlimited opportunities, he could do it. But I want them to have that long distance relationship first, to struggle, to communicate, to make it natural and not just bam here we go, two years later, Nick and Boston are happy living in NY together in a fancy flat. Again, BostonNick spin-off or Season 2. Thank you very much. I realised that BostonNick and SandRay are literally the same. Nick and Sand both being pushed around and dropped and used and all that and Boston and Ray both realising at the same time what they have of their other, how there's literally only one person who cares about them and none of them are from the friends group but I'm not gonna go there because that friends group is non-existent in my eyes. Except of Nick and Sand there was no actual friendship going on there that was even remotely healthy or supportive. Which brings me to:

Nick & Sand: I wanted more of this friendship. I wanted to see more how they live together after everything that happened. Mental breakdowns from their boyfriends/FWB relationships, them hanging out, talking, supporting each other. I just wanted more of this because again, healthiest friendship. They are roommates after all but we never actually SEEN them living together except of that one scene where Sand apologised for giving that audio to Ray. That was the only roommate scene we got in all of this and I felt like they would have been good for bonding over mutual shite they went through. I just wanted more of this friendship. They have like the most limited scenes together for the fact that they are both main characters. If Nick was just a random roommate it would have been different but he wasn't just random. They were both outsiders having been brought in into this mess from the outside. TopMew: Now, this is my problem couple. I don't dislike them. I'm actually a Top lover. I have never disliked him. I disliked some of his actions obviously but I never hated him like 99% of the people did. However, I'm happy Top gets a second chance. Deserved or not that's to debate because some people don't think so others do (like me) but that aside, I actually liked Top calling out Mew for the behaviour. Mew seemed to be unforgiving, which he also mentioned, but he's here giving Top a second chance, saying he's still in love with him but his facial expressions don't show it the same while Top is there struggling with his emotions and crying over the mistakes he has made. I want to see them working through those issues. Again, I just wanna see the development after everything that has happened. How they maybe go back to the way they used to be or maybe not, who knows. But one episode is not enough for that. Also we get the preview for the finale episode with the fire. Which brings me to:

Top: I feel like out of all the characters we know the least about him. All the other main characters have their dreams and their past and their struggles and we actually get to see and hear it. We don't know Top's dreams for the future. Where he wants to be, what he wants to do. We barely touched on his trauma, his ptsd (I think that's what he has, I forgot). We know his trauma is fire. We had that one flashback, we had the break-up scene where Mew lights the drawing on fire (which bold move, given he knows Top has a trauma with fire) but Top's reaction, I was not sure if it's just the break-up or actual fear because he was very expressive in that scene. However, we never see Top struggle with his PTSD, which his sleep problems, we hear about things but we never really touch on it. I want more of his story, want to know more about his past, his struggles. We also don't hear anything about his drug usage and everything. We had the halloween party and we still don't really know what happened between him and that police officer and him using drugs in general. Other than he's Mew's on and off boyfriend, we have no insight and it's kinda sad because I like him and I wanna know how all this came to be to begin with. Boston: I already talked about him in relation to Nick but I also wanna know more about his past because given how he acts towards his hookups and the fact that Nick would be his first boyfriend, he seems like to either have commitment issues, family problems or anything that made him shy away from falling in love and commitment. The way he both reacted to Nick and Atom in regard of them telling him they love him is like a defence mechanism. I feel like he’s in a similar situation with Yo. I love Boston but he has been stirring up a lot of shit in the first few episodes but he never actually came clean and apologised. He apologised to Nick for being an idiot but he never apologised for the dumb shit he spread around, the fact that he toyed with Nick and his friends and how he realised how everything went to shit AFTER Nick walked away and his friends. He got a slap in the face to make him realise but he never apologised for any of it to anyone.

YoPlug: In all honesty, the healthiest relationship we’ve seen in all of this show but then they just gone and put in some drama here too. Glad they resolved it and gone back. I want more of them. They were very small and a side ship, I get it. There’s not enough time in 12 episodes to develop 500 different relationships but I want more. I wanna SEE more of them. I want to see Yo move in with him, I want at least ONE scene of them outside of Y.O.L.O. I love them. I wish they’d get a spin-off. I wanna know how they got together, I wanna know more about Yo and her issues with past relationships. I just want more of them. Please and thank you. The mum’s: More mum’s please and thank you. Mew’s mums, I wanna know their story, I wanna know what they went through as a same-sex couple in their generation in Thailand. I wanna know how they got to become Mew. I just want more. More of Mew’s mum, more of Sand’s mum. In all honestly I would even love to know more about Ray’s mum, even tho that would just be dramatic and sad. I feel like Ray’s dad needs more screentime. He tries. I can see that. I don’t think he doesn’t care about Ray. He obviously does given he asked Sand for help because he knew he fucked up his relationship with Ray and Ray would not listen to him so he went behind his back to bribe Sand with money. It’s not necessarily a healthy move to bribe people with money who he knows need money and probably have the big chance to say yes and give in. We know how easy Sand was with giving in with Ray as well. As a broke human being, I get it. 100%. However, that doesn’t mean Ray’s dad doesn’t care. As I remember, Ray’s mum probably did what she did because her husband had no time for that relationship either. He didn’t become a workaholic after her death but we have to know that it had an immense impact on him as well. Psychologically. But he knew Ray was going the same route and he didn’t want to make the same mistake again but because shit has already gone too far in their father/son relationship he had to go with a different approach and that was Sand. The ONLY person who actually showed interest and care in Ray and his dad saw that and took it as an opportunity. I can’t honestly blame him. I don’t know if his and Ray’s relationship can be fixed but I’d love to see it as well. But again, we have ONE more episode. None of what I wrote here will happen in that ONE episode. Who am I forgetting. Oh of course. The MAIN thing I wanna know more about.

Sand/Top/Boeing: We know since episode 1 that Top apparently has stolen Sand’s Ex. Enter Boeing. Who also came out of nowhere so those characters never have good intentions. However, I wanna know HOW this all came to be. I am not sure if Boeing truly feels bad about dropping Sand. If he truly still have some sort of feelings for him and feels bad for what he did. Like Top. However, I am also not sure if it’s all a game as well. I can’t read him. He seems fishy. I don’t know if his intentions with Sand are truthful or if he’s just here to mess around. Kinda like Boston 2.0 from the first few episodes stirring up drama in all the ships. I DO however wanna know about their past and how Sand got to be with Boeing and how Boeing cheated on him with Top. Is Top really the bad guy here or was Boeing doing something to make it seem like Top was the bad guy. Was it truthful or not. We know nothing. We know he existed as a no-name for all those episodes but then he suddenly appears and we don’t know his intentions. In all honestly, dude should just go be the flight attendant he wants to be (which I still find hilarious given his name). I mean, dude is objectively hot. I wouldn’t mind being on an 11 hour flight with Thai Airlines and having someone like him bringing me my food. He’s an ass but he’s still eye candy haha. Sand better set him straight. At first I was like, WTF is Ray doing inviting him home but I think I get it. Honestly tho, I would love to see an even ground between Sand and Top given they have the same “enemy”. Given that TopMew seem to work it out and SandRay are working it out and RayMew seem to gone back to regular friends, they will still see of the other in some way or another. Which, oh, there is also another unsolved issue. Not issue since they DID talk but we literally got nothing around it:

RayMew: So apparently that happened, apparently it ended. They talked. They’re friends. We know Mew got with Ray because of his revenge plot. That whole Halloween party happened but nothing that happened at this party has been resolved in any way. Mew started smoking, taking drugs. It happened in the same breath as it ended. Atom: I’m gonna be completely honest, that scene with him and his sister was the biggest WTF scene of all of this show. Like, I understand it’s her brother and family is different. However, if MY sister pulled this shit I would have slapped her. Not in a “I hate you I will never see you again” way but in a “what the fuck were you thinking!!” way and I would have yelled at her for saying such bad stuff about someone else when it was a complete lie. We know Boston has been playing around and all but that was a horrible assumption to make and it could have gone a lot worse than it did. I would have made him go and apologise to Boston. However, now that BostonNick have set him straight, I would like to see him go out in the world and find himself with his eyes open to his new-found sexuality and get a good guy for him. Nobody from the friends group, nobody we know. Just himself and someone else in a healthy way. I would like to say the same about Dan. I know he likes Nick and I would be lying if I didn’t say they would be cute. However, we know Nick has different priorities so I guess Dan is gonna take the short stick. However, I like him and I hope Nick still gets the chance to be working with him and not drop him because of personal issues. Nick deserves the opportunity but at the same time I understand how not easy it would be to work with someone you like but doesn’t like you back like that. Tho Nick did seem to have some sort of feelings towards him. Let Dan have a happy ending to, with anyone. I think that’s it. I don’t know. I probably forgot a lot of things. So long story short! We need a Season 2!!!

[alwaysxyou]

I think what's extra frustrating about this whole situation is just the not knowing when or why of it. Like I know it can't go on forever but there have been so many times where it seems like we're getting somewhere (bye bye Elevator) and then bam something else hits us. I just hate it for louis

i said i wasnt going to respond to this right now but im fired up now and i am going to answer it. none of this is about coming out none of this is about larry none of it is about being gay even! it's does louis know he deserves better.

you don't want to draw attention to your actual relationship - why do you need to even speak about it? answer questions with that you'd like to keep your private life private and that's the end of it. "oh you used to be so open? yeah i was a lot younger and now ive grown up a bit and realized i want to keep it private" any one who pushes it is labeled as an asshole interviewer. publicist listening in to every single non-live on air interview and jumping in to skip questions if necessary. only do live interviews with anchors and hosts you trust and have agreed to keep it professional beforehand. get the best media training in the business and have every possible answer locked into your brain.

you don't want people to think you're gay - why not? nothing wrong with being gay. but in any case, see answer above about not wanting to talk about your personal life and then turn the answer back to the fans "im not/i don't like to talk about my personal life but what matters to me is the fans and im so honored to have fans from that community." next question

"well he needs the publicity" well he's not getting any now. the only publicity from that stunt walk was talking about how young she was, or how quickly he moved on from e. how about louis at a charity event? the gossip sites post pictures of louis with f or stories he tells but want to know what else they would post in the same way? pictures of louis with a dog. or a lizard. or a hamburger. or shirtless!

also! where is the doc promo! or tour promo! where is the exclusive with first look photos and interview with day of tickets coming out? where are the ticket specials in the cities where tour needs to be sold more (buy a tour ticket get a free movie ticket)? where are the merch bundles (buy a shirt get a movie ticket voucher)? or just merch in general? where are the radio spots and the billboards and the bus stop ads and the commercials and the social media? radio interviews in tour cities? they wouldn't do a press junket yet but! and if no one brought those up why isn't louis or his manager saying something and asking for those plans and those rollouts? and if they aren't getting those or know what to ask for why aren't they hiring people to figure out what's not working and make it happen?

you don't have to come out, you don't have to reveal your relationship, you don't have to even elude to anything. but you do deserve better treatment, better promo, a better image. privacy, kindness, fans, general population respect. what might have been the way people did it in 2013 isn't the same as 2023. but all of louis' rollouts are stuck there. once upon a time for an artist, the worst thing you could be was gay. and even if that's not the case anymore, if that's still where your head is okay. you don't have to come out. but you don't deserve to be doing this shit or putting yourself through this either.

he got out of sony, he got out of modest. he claims to be the boss so goddamn put your foot down and take a fucking stand. if there's lasting contracts or whatever get the best lawyer out there and fucking take back what you deserve. and don't fucking settle for anything less. someone on your team has an idea you don't like? too bad for them, you pay them, you make the ultimate decision. and if they don't let you or try to fuck you over, you hire someone else. and do that again and again until you get what you want. life is too freaking fucking short to not be putting yourself into the best possible situations wherever you can. louis deserves that.

[asknarashikari]

Sae: How's the life over there?

Daichi: *strolling stops* Besides these two... everything is good. He has a massive library and the like with loads of it.

Me: You should of seen how he reacted to it when I gave him the god-like capacity to handle the info he wanted at first.

Daichi: I'm a god now. But just a god of knowledge, wisdom and magic. Also...

Me: Less of an asshole now.

Daichi: Yeah... Being intelligent isn't enough. So he showed me the ropes... then bam, we're here. I also rather not talk about our sex life. It should be private, unlike his dumber consorts.

Me: Yeeeah...

Sae: Cool cool. Anything else?

Daichi: That's it. I'm not going any further. I am rather reserved now and raising these two are my top priority now. So, I'll be leaving now and I know how my husband operates. *leaves through portal*

Me: *turns to the main cast* Babe and the trio plus Tsurumi. I'll be looking forward to your "show".

Azuma: B*tch. I'm going with you to have some alone time. And you better take me somewhere nice for dinner afterward.

Me: You're horny again?

Azuma: Shut up! *takes my hand and leave though the portal*

Me: Bye guys.

Tsurumi: Never seen Buffa get horny before.

Neon: At least he's more discreet about it unlike... *turns to Ace*

Ace: What?

Keiwa: I'm just glad someone is making them happy. *turns to Ace* We're going somewhere and away from the lounge area.

Ace: 🤤🥴😯

Neon, Sae and Tsurumi: Tanuki boy is now horny.

Me, sitting here reading this and hoping it doesn't get horny because Daichi isn't acting horny: Why did I even get my hopes up

[bearsandcigar-stories]

Daddy’s Home

from hotashneworleans.net (2000)

It gets uncomfortable driving home with a raging hard on in anticipation of my boy greeting me after a long day on the job. He knows what I like when I walk through the door - he stands there with two full maduro Jereboams stuffed in a jock strap, a cold beer in one hand and a lighter and cigar clip in the other.

That thought made me squirm as my stiff cock rubbed against my inner thigh and tight jeans. The roads in south Louisiana are like the waves on the sea - undulating up and down, up and down. And with little more than what the locals call coffee grinds as a foundation, holes and ruts develop frequently, especially in the summer when it rains virtually every afternoon at 3 PM.

I like to clench a thick maduro in my jaw while driving, puffing on it and inhaling the thick smoke, then exhaling it through my nostrils and mouth without removing the cigar from my mouth. I like the feel of a fat, moist roll of tobacco in my mouth rolling it around as I clench it in my jaw. The end gets nice and sloppy, full of rich, dark cigar juice that dribbles from my mouth into my thick, coarse, white beard.

Suddenly, “Bam! Bam!” I hit two holes in the road and nearly shot a wad of cum in my jeans. I pulled over to see if I damaged the tire rims. Luckily, I didn’t. I pulled the cell phone from the glove compartment as I pulled off and called my boy.

“Daddy!” He exclaimed. “I gotta cum, Daddy. I gotta cum. It hurts. I gotta shoot my load, Daddy. My balls ache and are full, Daddy. Please, Daddy, I gotta cum!”

“I’ll be there in about forty-five minutes, boy. Get ready, boy. Daddy’s nuts are hanging to his knees with lots of cum for his boy. Be ready.”

“Yes, Sir, Daddy! I'll be ready, Daddy! Your boy needs your cum, Daddy, bad! I

missed you, Daddy!” He nearly yelled in the phone. “I need Daddy’s cock in my mouth and plowing my boy asshole, Daddy. I need to suck on Daddy’s man meat and get fucked hard by you, Daddy. Boy’s gonna reward his Daddy with nice load, too, Daddy.”

“I have more than one big load for you, boy. Daddy’s cock’s been aching for his boy’s hole.” I was puffing on the cigar, exhaling the smoke into the receiver so he could hear.

“And smoke too, Daddy. I need your smoke down my throat, Daddy. I need it bad.”

“Yeah, boy. I know. Get the 95 rings instead of the Jereboams.”

“YES, SIR!” I could almost see his cock swell, as he shouted.

“You know what I expect, boy. Bye.”

“Bye, Daddy, I’ll be ready, Sir.” I pressed “End” and turned off the phone.

I accelerated to make up some time and get home sooner and pressed the pedal to the metal, as the saying goes. About thirty-five minutes later, I pulled into the drive way. Though I finished the cigar, I was still chomping on the butt. There’s nothing like a soggy gar butt in your jaw unless it’s a lit cigar with an easy draw and thick, rich smoke.

I went in, and as expected, my boy was standing there in a bulging jock strap, his cock straining against the webbing. He popped the can of beer open and handed it to me. As I drank it, I grabbed him by the balls and squeezed them hard. Pulling him toward me by his nut sac, I guzzled a big mouthful of beer; then, filling my mouth again with the cold brew, I locked my hairy lips over his and fed it to him.

“Thank you, Daddy!” Then, he began sucking my beard clean of the gar spit and

beer. He pulled a cigar from the jockstrap, clipped the end and handed it to me. I rolled the thick, black cigar in my mouth, and he held a lighter as I puffed, the golden red flames shooting from the end like a Roman candle and thick, blue smoke engulfing his face. He breathed in deeply sighing in satisfaction. The end was aglow; I puffed the cigar hard rolling it in my hairy lips, thick clouds of nearly opaque smoke billowed from my mouth and then inhaled a deep drag. Grabbing my boy by the back of the head, I pulled his face toward mine and forced a lungful of the strong cigar smoke down his throat.

He moaned as the heavy smoke passed from my mouth to his and down to his lungs. His cock restrained in the jock strap was grinding against my belly and throbbing as he sucked my tongue.

“May I have more smoke, Daddy, please?”

I spit a wad of cigar juice in his mouth.

“Thank you, Daddy.”

Then, clenching the cigar in my jaw, I puffed hard on it again, his face and head awash in the dense cloud of smoke. Sucking down more, I again pressed my lips over his and forced more of the intoxicant down his throat.

“Hold that smoke, boy, until I tell you to release it.” I ordered. He nodded. I shoved him head into my rank, wet armpit and rubbed it in.

“Exhale, boy.” He complied as commanded and began to lap the smoke and sweat out the hairy pit. As I exhaled more smoke in his face, he lapped more intensely cleaning my rank pit.

“Now, the other armpit, boy.”

“Yes, sir!”

I rubbed his hairy face across my pecs to my other armpit. He took a deep breath enjoying the rank man smells emanating from it. I blew thick smoke rings in his face which he sucked down and then attacked my dripping pit like a bulldog licking, lapping it voraciously. I pushed his face harder into my sweaty, hairy pit and he responded with greater intensity.

My cock was stiff as a steel rod straining against the tight denim. Pulling my boy’s head back, I inhaled more thick smoke and fed it to him, then shoved him to his knees grinding his face against my bulging crotch.

“Unbutton it boy, with your teeth. And don’t waste any time.”

“Yes, Daddy!” He exclaimed in anticipation of tasting my man meat.

With his tongue and teeth, he rapidly unbuttoned the jeans. My thick, rigid tool popped out and slapped him in the face. His mouth drooled as I whacked the turgid pole against his lips; and then I smeared the precum dripping like a faucet against his lips. His eyes widened as he stuck out his tongue and tasted the slick, salty fluid.

“MMMMMMMMMM! MMMMMMMMMM! MMMMMMMMMM!”

I looked down at him as I chomped on the fat maduro and exhaled a lungful of smoke down my hairy chest and belly to his face. He inhaled the rich smoke with one deep breath. I shoved my jeans over my hips, and they fell to the floor. Grabbing the back of his head, I shoved my throbbing cock down his throat, burying his nose in my thick, smelly pubic hair. His throat opened, and he took all 10 inches without gagging. He sucked on the bloated pole and massaged it with his throat muscles. I threw my head back pumping my hips and fucking his face harder and faster, puffing the cigar with each thrust of my hips. The thick smoke rose to the ceiling and began to fill the room.

“Suck it, boy. Suck Daddy’s dick!”

His response was immediate sucking harder and faster. My hairy, bull balls banged against his hairy chin as I plowed his face. My nuts were churning. I could feel the cum building up. I withdrew my cock and rested the head on his tongue. Dropping a wad of warm, brown cigar juice on it, I let it roll around the swollen head to his tongue.

“Lick it off, boy!”

He worked his tongue around the bloated head savoring the spittle.

“MMMMMMMMMMMMM! MMMMMMMMMMM! YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!”

I aimed another mouthful of spit in his face and worked it in with my hand.

“AHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!”

“Fuck me, Daddy, please!” He begged.

In response, I rammed my cock again down his throat and pumped his face. His head bobbed back and forth, up and down as I fucked his face harder and faster.

Again I withdrew my cock and ordered: “Stand up, boy!”

I fed him more smoke and kneaded his hairy, bubble butt in my hands as we locked lips. Then, with one swift movement, I slapped his ass cheeks hard.

“Thank you, Daddy!”

“Bend over boy and grab your ankles.”

I rubbed my prick up and down his hairy ass crack puffing the cigar harder and faster.

“Fuck me, Daddy, please! Fuck me!” He begged as I teased his fuck hole pressing my cock head against it.

I slapped his ass cheeks again hard again and again turning them red. He moaned loudly.

“Daddy, please fuck me! Boy needs your cock!”

I dropped a mouthful of thick, brown gar spit on my cock head and grabbed his hips impaling him on the rigid pole. His boy fuck hole opened up; the sphincter muscle relaxed as I rammed my cock into his warm, tight boy cunt with one hard thrust.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!”

He groaned wildly as I rubbed the thick, veiny meat into his warm ass.

Then, I began to pump my hips and puffed the stogie each time my body slapped against his. He met each thrust bouncing back and forth moaning and groaning with my tool massaging his prostate.

“May I stroke my cock, Daddy, please?”

I pulled his arms back holding his wrists against his back ramming his ass harder and faster. He flexed his ass muscles grabbing my stiff meat as I drove my dick deeper and deeper. We were in sync as I plowed hiss ass increasing the pace and rhythm.

“Fuck me, Daddy! Fuck me, Daddy! Fuck me, Daddy! Fuck me, Daddy!” He yelled

as my crotch slammed against his ass. Thick, fog like smoke billowed from my mouth as I puffed the cigar harder and faster. Spit dribbled from my mouth and filled my thick, white beard dripping onto his ass crack lubing my cock.

“Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me!”

My balls tightened and cock swelled in his tight ass hole. I rammed my swollen, thick meat deep and hard in his hot, boy pussy as it exploded filling his ass with thick cream which dripped out and clung to his hairy hole.

“AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

“AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

“AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

“AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

“AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

I bellowed each time my cock pulsed shooting cum deep in his hole clenching and puffing the cigar hard and fast and inhaling the last drag into my lungs. I grabbed his head by his hair, pulling him up and back forcing the smoke down his throat. He sucked it down

and exhaled it through his nostrils. I pulled his tumescent cock from the jock strap and spit on it and rubbed the bloated head in the coarse fur of my belly. He chewed on my beard, wet from the cigar spit. As I puffed, the cigar butt clenched in my jaw, thick smoke swirled around his face and head.

“I gotta cum, Daddy! Let me cum, please!” He pleaded.

I grabbed his cock in my fist and stroke it. He worked his hips sliding his boy cock in my hand with the dripping head slipping up and down my stomach. Suddenly, he roared: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!AA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!AAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!AAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” He lunged his body against mine. His cock erupted like a geyser shooting pearly cum on my chest and covering my fuzzy belly. I rubbed against him smearing the slick secretion into our body hair. It clung to the stiff hairs.

Puffing the cigar again and inhaling the smoke, I forced more down his throat.

“Thank you, Daddy!”

“Good boy! You’re Daddy’s cigar pig boy!” He chewed on my dense chin hair exhaling the smoke into it and sucking the cigar spittle from it. He smiled appreciatively and opened his mouth wide to be fed another lungful of thick, strong cigar smoke and a mouthful of warm, brown cigar juice from his Daddy.

[beenherewaytoolong]

Medical update under the cut tw for cancer stuff and I guess wound care and what I consider body horror

Last week I went to get in the shower and a bunch of warm liquid just POURED out of my incision site.

My boobies don’t have very many nerve endings since surgery so it didn’t hurt or anything I was just all of a sudden weirdly wet.

Jer took a look and there was in fact a little open wound straight down to the implant. Called the surgeon, she asked me to come in the next morning.

Not an emergency situation, apparently this happens when you have cancer and your treatment goes surgery >>> chemo, the incision site doesn’t fully heal up, then fluid can build up and it looks for a weak spot to escape and bam.

The weird part is that I had surgery in November but okay asshole body thanks for the freakin horror show.

24 hours later the wound is like two to three times the size so I’m on bed rest trying to combat/avoid gravity and support that tissue as much as possible until I can go in on Monday (tomorrow) to have the implant fully removed. But because of chemo I won’t have anything put back in and it’s not recommended that I get anything new put in until chemo is done and firmly in the rear view mirror.

So yeah I’m gonna be lopsided for a while and I am so tired to readjusting to a new body.

I am so tired of set backs and pauses and more procedures. And I’m tired of being reminded that things could be worse. Idk. I’ll be better once it’s out probably. Sorry my personal posts are always such party poopers, but that’s what’s up in my life rn. Bah. Okay bye.

[carolrance]

my ex was the cheesiest motherfucker on the planet. like legit this is cheese on cheese on cheese. who seriously comes up with this shit?

[toukenramblings]

First Kisses: Higekiri, Hizamaru, Kogitsunemaru

FORCING MYSELF TO WRITE? YEAAAAAH LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Dedicated to @10cm​, Leah, @blossom-cherry​ and my rp partner on discord. First kisses are GOOD

Warnings: nOTHING BUT CUTENESSS, I NEED THESE

Higekiri

Knowing Higekiri, even if you two are not dating, this kiss is gonna pop outta nowhere. Hige does like keeping you on your toes after all...for...better or for worse.

One of his favorite things to do is to watch you. Not in a creepy way, but whenever he’s assigned as your attendant for the day, he’s in your office and he just...enjoys looking at you. You’re a sight for sore eyes and honestly, he cannot deny these budding feelings he has for you. Besides, it’s the little things. The way your face contorts cutely (at least in his eyes) whenever you work on something difficult, how your fingers move, so on and so forth!

And then he...just....kisses you. Like he makes you look at him first but bam. He notices how stressed you look and he doesn’t want that on you! Kiss happens. It’s a quick peck on the lips and when he parts, a smirk dances upon his lips.

“There, now that’s the master that I know and love.”

SANIWA.EXE HAS BROKE. PLS CALL CUSTOMER SUPPORT. ARE THEY GONE? BUSY? YOU’RE ON HOLD FOR AN INDEFINITE TIME, S I R

When you finally come back from heaven (or hell, idk where we’re going) you are met with the most sly of smirks from the blonde man. “Did you like it~?”

Asshole. How fucking dare he. You weren’t ready! Neither was your heart! Your poor heart!

“Your lips are soft, master.” chuckles out the blonde, a dangerous sort of glint in his eyes.

So then you pull him into a kiss, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and giving him a TASTE OF HIS OWN DAMN MEDICINE

When you two part, the kiss passionate and tongues toying with one another, there is a stripe of saliva connecting you two. His pale cheeks flushed, breathing heavy, eyes blown. “Mmm, do you truly want more? You might regret it~”

Hizamaru

This kiss won’t happen until you two are dating. Especially not in public either. Lord help him if Higekiri or anyone else sees. His poor heart, dead, it gave out. Bye bye.

Hizamaru may act all prim and proper than his brother, but perhaps a little bit is rubbing off on him? Oh no. He has thought about it many times, maybe tried to plan it? If he could....at least.

He won’t lie and say that he hasn’t thought about kissing you many times on this first date, his hand holding yours and walking through the streets. It’s almost a little too crowded for his tastes, he wanted to find a place where you two could just...exist.

So when you two stop by a park, on a bench, feeding birds with seed or something, Hizamaru would always be found staring over at your lips.

How would they feel against his? Would they feel nice? how thE FUCK DO PEOPLE KISS? DO THEY JUST ASK? ASKING IS GOOD RIGHT????

Panic mode engaged, he don’t notice that you noticed the fact that he was staring at your lips with this red as fuck face. How cuteeee.

When you call him out on it, it’s only then does he break out of his thoughts, his stutters and face oh so red. He begins to make excuses, apologizing over and over again for thinking such...indecent thoughts. Not as indecent as like naughty or anything but whoooo boi, his heart cannot handle this.

“M-May I kiss you?” he blurts out after seventy apologies in a row. He stares down at his hands, avoiding your eyes. “I-I-If it’s okay.”

You nod, and you two meet halfway for this kiss.

It’s awkward, teeth clacking against each other, and no one is sure where to put their hands, but when you part HIzamaru’s blush does not fuCKING LEAVE. It’s sweet and soft and satisfying to see him like that. Hizamaru gulps down his nerves, unsure of how to proceed. But he loves that feeling, that intimate sensation of being connected. So when he turns back to you, he whispers, “May...may we kiss again?” and he’s determined to do better!

Kogitsunemaru

Like Higekiri, it is most likely that his kiss will come out of nowhere. But, it will be after you two have officially started dating...most likely. There is a chance he may randomly kiss you outside of a relationship but he had his morals. He won’t do that in public, and certainly not around Mikazuki. Hell no.

This kiss happens sweet and soft, during a lax day with warm weather. He asks you to brush his hair again, holding the comb you gifted him some time ago. “Dearest master, will you comb me again?” he questions to you, and of course you do!

His head in your lap, your fingers in his hair, letting the teeth of the comb gently graze his scalp, not at all harmful but welcome; an itch needed to be scratched. You swear, he’s always content but he looks even more at peace now.

Maybe it’s because you two are dating? You two are able to show your love out in the open like this? Where everyone knows that you are his and his alone? Ah, he could spend forever like this!

But honestly, you two are comfortable like this. And your eyes cannot help but wander down to his lips, his curled into a such a sweet and relaxed smile, his eyes closed shut. Maybe he’s falling asleep???

So then you just kiss him. You just fucking bend down, a kiss to his cheek, you think he’s asleep. He won’t notice!

And then he turns his head and your lips connect.

KOGITSUNEMARU: 1. SANIWA: 0

“Ah, did you want to kiss me?” Kotsitunemaru knows that you wanted to kiss him, he may have his eyes closed, but he’s a smart man. He pulls you back down for a proper one.

It’s gentle, yet hungry. Perhaps lustful? Maybe in a sexual way, maybe more so in an intimate way. Kogitsunemaru adores existing in the same space with you, and when you two part, he smirks, having held your head to keep you there. “You do know what you are getting yourself into, right, dearest?

[slashscowboyboots]

Happy Taco Truck: Ice Cream Dreamboat (Part 1)

(all photo credit goes to owners)

I know it’s only been months, but it feels like years since I’ve shared a fic!  This is a continuation of @no-stone-no-bone​‘s awesome fic Duff’s Doughnuts (link here).  I agree with Skyler, I’d love to see other writers write about the different food trucks and make this a series.  This was supposed to be a one-shot, but as I am physically incapable of writing short fics, this is a two-parter.  Buckle in!

Tag list: @izzysdenimjacket​ @no-stone-no-bone​ @sexcoffeeandrockandroll​ @awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands​ @smokeandmirrorz​ @sodalitefully​​ @roger-taylors-car​​  @harley-m-rose​ if you’d like to be tagged let me know, we all know how wonderful the tags work though

Warnings: language, sibling promiscuity, lonely cooking, terminal embarrassment, Axl and Tracii are Axl and Tracii

Thunk thunk thunk.

It was another scorcher inside your food truck, the vicious heat wafting off the griddle pummeling your face as you deftly raked your spatula through a pile of crisping beef tips, then piled them into a fluffy shell, handing it off for your sister Skyler to kiss with your award-winning cilantro lime crema and hand out to the customer.

You couldn’t resist moving up to the open side to watch the patron, a long-haired man wearing a nose chain with “Endless Burgers” stitched on his shirt, take a bite of your creation, then bend at the knees from ecstasy and dig a ten dollar bill from his pocket, stuffing it in your tip jar.

It has been gangbusters during the lunch rush in The Circle, the informal name given to the parking lot of ornery hooligans who fed the masses during the day and lingered behind late in the evening for a bit of recreational hell-raising. 

There was a plethora of culinary delights scattered around you, including Duff’s Doughnuts, Tracii and Phil’s Sno-Cones, Stoney & Cready’s Homewrecker Corndogs, and Jon and Richie’s Jersey Essentials (you never really knew what they were selling, apart from Aqua Net and the occasional cheesesteak, but after they began offering rippers-deep fried hot dogs-Skyler made frequent trips over to ask Richie if she could eat his weenie).  And from what you heard, they all knew how to throw down at night.

You never stayed to find out, though.  Your shyness forced you to fire up Helen the Happy Taco truck and drive home, leaving Skyler behind to do God-knows-what to who-knows-what, and you arrived in the mornings to find her either helping Kelly from Nickels’ BBQ feed his pink-painted porcine smoker, both of them covered in hickeys, or nearly trading blows with the loudmouth redhead who ran the ice cream truck.

Today, however, you’d found her with someone new.  When you pulled into the lot, you saw her with her arms wrapped around a guy with long hair wearing a flannel shirt and shorts, gazing raptly into his piercing blue eyes.  “Bye, Ed,” she murmured, pecking a kiss on his mouth.

“Who was that?” you asked, your eyebrows shooting skywards.

“Produce man,” she answered quickly.

“Were you getting us a good deal?’

“You know it.”

You peeled your gloves off and wiped your sweating face with a paper towel, trying to blot off as much grease as possible.  “I’m taking a break.  I need some ice cream.”

“I got you a frozen lemonade on my break.  It’s gonna taste like shit when you drink it with that ice cream.”

“I don’t care.”

“Punch that dick Axl in the face while you’re over there.  He’s on my last fucking nerve.”

You trudged down to “Axl and Izzy’s Frozen Delights,” eager to leave the brutal swelter inside your truck.  Standing in front of their window, you bent backwards and cracked your aching back, then a raspy voice asked, “Can I help you?”

You looked up into the most beautiful doe eyes you’d ever seen, hazel verging on gold in the afternoon sunlight, belonging to a guy with messy brown hair tied back with a bandanna, and suddenly your feet didn’t hurt anymore.  “Hi,” you said faintly.

“Hey,” he replied, smiling at you, and you felt your breath leave you.  “I’m Izzy, who might you be?”

“Y/N.”

“What can I get for you?”

Your brain instantly forgot how to make words.  “Cone,” you muttered.

His smile grew even bigger.  “What do you want in your cone?”

“Ice cream.”

He chuckled softly.  “What kind?”

“I don’t know.”

Those gorgeous eyes were full of merriment, crinkling at the corners.  “You don’t know?”

“No.”  Get ahold of yourself, you’re sounding like a moron.  “Uh, chocolate?”

“Sure.  I mean, as long as you’re sure about that.”  He winked at you, then turned to the freezer case behind him, and you got an exquisite view of his perfect ass, your mouth open and your breath coming in gasps, then he turned around and grinned, catching you mid-gawk, and you immediately wanted the earth to swallow you up.

“Thank you,” you blurted when he handed you your cone, then you turned to leave.  

“Uh, Y/N?”

“Uh huh?”  You couldn’t believe he was going to prolong putting up with your awkward ass.  

“Aren’t you going to pay me?”

“Oh,” you said, humiliation bringing a knot to your throat, and you handed him a crumpled pile of bills and scuttled away before you could cry.

“Sis, you mind if I head out a little early?” you asked.  “I’ve got a headache and I want to go home.”

“Sure.  I think we’re done for today.  You sure you’re okay?”

You hadn’t said a word all afternoon, just cooked and sweated and tried not to think about what a failure you were.  This was why you didn’t stick around at night, even though you longed to, to laugh and have fun with all the crazy characters around you.  Because you’d fuck it up if you did.

Why wasn’t I born normal? you thought bitterly.  Why am I the disaster in the family?

“Yeah,” you said quietly.  “I’m fine.”

That’s why your tacos were so delicious.  Because you were such a loser, you stayed home and perfected them instead of going out and having a life.  With no demands on your personal time, you discovered that lime made your chicken taco sing, while a little tomato sauce was the secret to juicier ground beef.

Your loneliness was the key to Happy Taco’s success.  

And you’d give everything you knew away just to be cool for five minutes.

“OPEN UP!!” a male voice hollered.  Bam!  Bam!  Bam!  “Little pig, little pig, let me in!”

Skyler dropped the hatch.  “Tracii!  Ferfucksakes!  We just got here!”

Tracii grinned under his bandanna.  “I wanna eat your taco.”

“It is an honor and a privilege to serve you a Happy Taco,” she answered, leaning on the counter and linking her fingers.  “However, we haven’t got anything set up and the only kind we can get you is our el pastor.”

“Okay,” he said, “gimme two,” and Skyler nodded to you.

You sliced the meat off the trompo, carefully evening out the sides, all the while reliving the embarrassment of the previous afternoon in your head.  Maybe you could drive Helen down to Baja California and start life anew, under a different name.

“Hey!” Tracii yelped, his eyes on you.  “I know you!  You’re the one Izzy was talking about last night,” and your knife nearly stabbed the metal pole holding up the pork and pineapple mass.

“Yeah,” he smiled lazily, “you are a looker, aren’t you?  How come you don’t party with us?  Izz said you seemed kinda shy.”

With your eyes wide and heart hammering, you handed the tacos to Skyler, whose mouth was hanging open in shock.

Before she could say anything, Tracii handed her his money and sauntered off, orgasmically moaning as he chewed, and Axl stepped up to the window.

“The fuck you want?” Skyler snapped.  “”It’s too early in the day for you to pick a fight, asshole.”

“I’m not here to fight,” he growled, slamming down a wad of dollars.  “This is from Izzy.  For her ice cream,” and he jutted his chin towards you.  “He says you eat for free at our truck.  The bo-both of you,”  he gritted, the agony of that idea etching deeply on his face.

“Thank you,” you smiled in surprise.

His eyes met yours, waving off your delight.  “Yeah, he’ll be down later.”

“Yes, thank you, Axl,” Skyler said.  “May we offer you an el pastor taco?”

“No,” he said, already retreating.  “Pork gives me the shits.”

Izzy did come by later, just in time for your sister to run off on her break.  

“Hi, Izzy,” you said, feeling your cheeks heat up.

“Hey,” he smiled, looking delicious in his sunglasses.  “So what kind of tacos do you have?”

You recited the list.  “El pastor, carnitas, beef tips, seasoned ground beef, chicken, shrimp, and uh, lengua.”

“What’s that?”

“Uh, tongue.”

He pulled a face and stuck out his tongue, and you giggled, your shyness melting away at his goofiness.  “No, no, it’s really good.  Imagine the most tender, flavorful pot roast.  Everyone always orders seconds.”

“I think I’ll pass on the tongue, that one anyways, and have one shrimp and one chicken.  How much do I owe you?”

“Nothing.  Uh, you and Axl, you eat for free here too.  Thank you, by the way, that’s very generous.”

He grinned wider, and you noticed he’d hadn’t stopped smiling at you since he showed up.  “Don’t mention it.”

You opened the shrimp and chicken containers, then threw the meat down on the griddle and moved it around, forcing yourself to focus on sauteing and not burning down the fucking truck because Izzy was outside.

He peeked in the window, looking around the interior of the truck.  “So how long have you been cooking?”

“Oh, since I was small.  I was at a stove before I could see over it.  These are all my grandmother's recipes.”  You scooped the fillings into their shells, then grabbed the crema.  

“Hey, I only ordered two,” Izzy protested when you handed him his tacos in a cardboard to-go basket.

“One of the chicken ones is Axl’s.  Consider it a peace offering.”

“Thank you.  Hey, Y/N, I was wondering if-”

“Hey, Y/N, I was wondering if I could get some fucking service around here,” a mullet-sporting, Confederate flag t-shirt wearing asshole growled, and Izzy waved, then walked away.

He returned the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day, working his way through your menu and bringing you a different-flavored milkshake each time.  He loved all of the tacos he tried, even daring to sample the beef tongue, then immediately ordered another one.

“Told you,” you grinned.

He always made conversation with you while you cooked, his eyes locked on yours as he ate, but every time he finished, there was always a line to tend to, and Skyler made herself scarce as soon as she spotted him.  You never returned to his truck for ice cream, and spent your downtime cleaning the flattop, lighting out as soon as you turned over the CLOSED sign.

“You know,” your sister said to you as you turned the key in the ignition, “if you stayed, you’d probably hook up with Izzy.”

“No,” you said sadly, “I’m a hot mess.  I’d say something stupid and he’d run away.”

“Can’t talk with his tongue in your mouth,” she teased, “or some other part.”

“SKYLER!” you shrieked as she cackled, then you sighed and leaned your head against the steering wheel.  “I’m not like you.”

“You don’t have to be,” she said, leaning over and stroking your hair.  “Just give him a chance.”

“I can’t stay here and have Helen be a-a sin wagon.”

“It’s not like we have orgies!” Skyler laughed.  “At least your man doesn't.  He plays guitar and Axl sings, when he’s not being a dumbass.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.  And then Izzy sings, and Kelly gives me The Look and……”

“Or the produce man shows up.”

“Or Eddie the produce man shows up.”  She gave you a slight smile.  “C’mon, Sis, stay.  He likes you.”

“He doesn’t know me.”

“Then get to know him.  Axl says he’s pining.”

You looked at her in surprise.  “When did you talk to Axl?”

“When he told me that chicken taco you gave him was the best thing he’s ever had.”

You smiled at his praise, drumming your fingertips on the steering wheel.  “Maybe I’ll stay sometime.”

“Pining,” Skyler said, then hopped off the truck.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Hey, could you write a oneshot for yandere Bill Cipher where the reader makes a deal to go with him to save her family?

First of all, I’m so sorry this took so long!! I have no excuses, but I hope you still get some enjoyment out of this.

He’s in a human form in this. Who’s human form, you ask? Who knows, but its his now!

~~~

“So… what’ll it be, beau, do you wanna watch me turn your stupid little family inside out with just a snap… “My heart beats hard in my ears as I watch Bill’s black gloved pointer finger and thumb touch each other. “of my fingers. Or will you come to the universe of unknowns, well unknown to you, and certain terrors?”

“I don’t really have a choice… “Taking a deep breath, I slip my hand into his, holding on tight like it’s the only thing keeping me from falling apart, or screaming in frustration. Which, it very much is. It is also the object of my frustrations so squeezing it between my fingers, such a human and affectionate gesture, makes me feel even worse.

“Good choice, Y/N!” His grip rivals mine as he gives a short, theatrical shake movement with our conjoined hands and then his can hooks into the meat of my side and twirls me around to face my family. My eyes round and I open my mouth to say something, anything that comes to mind, like ‘I love you’ or ‘Don’t worry’ but only breath escapes my lips before Bill’s cold fingers drop and dig into my sides suddenly to stop me, causing me to cringe in on myself. “Now, you guys! I would thank you for your daughter, but I never asked in the first place!! And you asshole would never have let me anyway- Y/N’ll be way happier with me! Now, say hi to Charon for me- cuz I’m gonna kill you anyway.”

Before I can move, Bill drops his arm over my shoulders like twisted steel, laughing madly, and with a surprising strength keeps me in my place, pointing his cane now towards my family and turns his head, one deadly uncovered eye still focused on my family, to address me. Turning on an uncomfortable, creepy crawly, tingly-in-a-bad-way feeling in the pit of my stomach, he talks quieter. Just for me to hear. I can feel his breath in my ear. “You didn’t think I’d really let them live, did you? That wasn’t an official deal, baby, did I forget to mention that? And the one with the interdimensional powers makes the rules. Anyway! Gotta kill them, while they’re alive you’ll always have hope- do I look like a sucker to you??”

“Please, no- “

“BAM!” 

Blue lightning blasts out of the end of cane, carved end in his hand causing some kick back from the force of the fatal crashes out and against my family, who don’t even have the chance to move. I just watch the two seconds of blue gleam in their dark eyes before they’re gone. Nothing but a gentle dusting of irreparable ash on the ground.

A scream races up my throat and fills up my mouth, but a leather gloved hand tightly covers my mouth, sticking to my skin. The sound comes out muffled, sounding like a moan and my teras fall down to wet his glove and Bill gives me a peck on the cheek.

All that’s keeping me up his other arm, now gripped around my waist like the way stockings hug your legs. Unwavering.

“You didn’t- Didn’t h-h-ha- “ I’m trying to say he didn’t have to do that, I was coming, but the uncontrollable crying tearing through my entire body makes it an impossibility.

“Okay, whatever, I didn’t quite get that because of your crying. Besides, we gotta go, peaches! Dimensions to take over, universes to dismantle- Busy, busy, busy! OH, that reminds me.” I’m not looking at him, I’m definitely not facing him after what just… what just happened… but he doesn’t take that as any kind of sign or this psycho really doesn’t give a fuck about me, because he takes my chin between his fingers and forcefully, slowly guides me to look at him, even as I resist.

Tears evade my vision, so really all I can see are sharp, faint lights and his bright yellow hair, but the tone in his voice is terrifying and makes my already fragile mental state into disrepair. So low, so sure. “Reality is an illusion,”

His fingers grip into the flesh of my waist even hard, so it’s painful and gasp rips from me suddenly. God. “The universe is a hologram.”

“Buy gold.” The bright lights start to fade, until I really don’t see anything. It’s too dark around us- but I still feel him.

“Byeeeeeeee.”

Say bye, Y/N. You lost.

[ilooklikeaburntchickenugget]

Holiday Dates (Pt. 1)

 A/N: So I got this idea at like 1 am, and here I am writing it. I know it’s not even really the Christmas season next, but I thought this mini series would be cute for the holidays. So here goes nothing! Pairing: Teen!Gerard x Teen!F!Reader Word count: 2587 Warnings: A few curse words

School projects in general were a pain in your ass. Having to go and work with someone or a group of people on a topic you’re not even interested in, and then present it like your entire career depends on it. Nothing about that was appealing.

So walking into your AP psychology class a week before your two week Christmas break, only for your teacher to announce a partner project would be due the day before break made you mentally punch your desk. “To make this a little more interesting,” Mr. Young began, the tall, black haired man grabbing an old, clear container. “I’ve placed all your names into this jar, and I’ll just draw a few. It’ll present an element of surprise.” He smiled, clearly excited even though no one else was. You rolled your eyes through the pain.

He shook the jar quite violently, as if to emphasize that this would truly be random. One by one, he stuck his hand in, pulling out two small sliver of papers, announcing your peers names. A few grudges, shrugs, and even celebratory cheers erupted depending on the individual’s opinions toward whomever they were paired with.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” He called out, you looking up. As much as you hated it, you admitted the small rush of adrenaline in anticipation for who you would be paired with gave a little excitement. “Gerard Way.” He stated, placing the two pieces to the side.

Gerard Way? You had heard of him. He was the shy, nerdy, smart boy. Okay, well, this should be easy. He should know everything in psych, you’ll help him create a project, and bam. There’s your A. A few more names were called before your teacher finally dismissed you from your seats, to go talk with your partners, get a game play.

You got up, grabbing your backpack and phone, looking around until you found the stark black haired boy. He was looking up to you with a light smile, which you returned as you walked to him. You had never payed much attention to him, but his mess of a head of hair, hazel eyes, and smile were adorable. If you were being honest. You took a seat next to him.

“I’m Gerard.” He smiled to you.

“I’m Y/N.” You smiled back. Okay, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. A smart boy and a sight to look at? Perfect.

“Yeah, I- I know.” He stuttered, immediately regretting that, “Sorry, that was weird.” He lightly laughed at his own mistake.

“It’s alright.” You admitted, pulling out your notebook and pens. “So, any idea for what we should do this on?” You asked next. “Well,” He sighed, turning to you in his desk, “I was thinking something along the lines of adolescent psychology? There’s a lot we can do there. Or social psych, that’s interesting too.” He began, “But it’s whatever you want to do, really.” He smiled again.

“I think social psych would be cool.” You looked back at him, from where you were scanning your notes, “I’ll go tell Mr. Young, as long as that’s fine with you.” “Yeah, of course.” He smiled, going back to his own notes as you got up, walking to the front of the room.

“Hey, Mr. Young.” You walked up to the man, “Gerard and I want to sign up to cover social psych.” “Great.” He said, typing it into a word document, “Hey Y/N,” He began before you could walk away. “Be nice to Gerard if you would. He’s a smart kid, gets used a lot for his academics. Just, treat him like a human, alright?” “Yeah, of course Mr. Young.” You smiled at him, wondering what he exactly meant.

“I knew I could trust you with that, Y/N.” He smiled back, as you walked back to your seat next to the boy.

“We could start with the basics,” He spoke up, “You know, personality and all that stuff like that.” You nodded.

“Sounds great.”

“So if we look at attributions,” He began, “The Fundamental Attribution Error may be the best place to start.” “Agreed,” You stated, “So that’s a person’s tendency to associate what someone has done with an internal cause, not an external one based on the situation?” “Right,” he looked at you, “So, like, if someone is driving, and someone else cuts them off, and they call them an asshole,” You lightly laughed, and he smiled, “That would be the fundamental attribution error. Because maybe, in reality, that person could be late to work, or late to pick their kid up from school. I mean they could be an asshole, but we don’t know that.” You giggled again. “Yeah,” You concluded, “But an attribution would be like me saying you’re funny, based off of what you just said. So I can properly attribute that a characteristic of you is you’re funny.” He smiled, a light red coming to his cheeks.

“I, mean,” he stumbled, “y-yeah I suppose.” Then the bell rang.

“Hey, by the way,” You began, “Could I get your number, to text you for when we need to meet?” “Yeah, of course.” He smiled again. You handed him your phone, and he typed in his number and name, handing it back. “Thanks, Gerard.” “Yeah, of course. Bye Y/N.” You walked out a few moments later, walking to your locker where you began putting your stuff away. You walked into the cafeteria, sitting at the table with all your friends.

“Hey, Y/N.” Everyone smiled and you smiled back, “How are you?” Jason, one of the boys on the football team who you just happened to hang out with asked.

“Alright,” You admitted, sipping on your water, “Mr. Young assigned us a project in AP psych.” You sighed.

“Who with?” Shanna asked, another one of the girls you hung out with. “Gerard Way.” You stated and everyone began laughing under their breaths, “What?” You asked next.

“Nerdy, smart one?” You nodded, “At least you won’t have to do work.” Jason scoffed.

“I’m still going to do the work,” You said, “It’s a partner project. Besides, he’s really nice and funny.” He rolled his eyes.

“He’s weird, Y/N.” “No he’s not.” You fought back, “Besides, judging people you don’t even know does nothing good for anyone or anything. Other than your fragile ego.” Everyone oohed, as you looked up at him. “Fine,” he sighed, “I won’t say anything else.” Besides being friends with some of the most popular, and worst people in school, you hated bullies. The idea of hurting someone for something they can’t control, or for being who they are made you infuriated.

Your classes went by, one by one for the rest of the day. They were of course boring, not much intriguing or interesting in any one. You eventually grabbed all of your things, placing them into your bag, and walking out and through the doors back into the crowded streets of New York. Going down only a few blocks, you reached the Subway where you hopped on, went for only three stops, and finally arrived at your stop in Midtown.

Your family’s apartment was great for what it was. A three bedroom in a usual sky rise. It even had a second floor, something not all that common in New York. You shut your door to your bedroom, your parents nor your younger brother were home yet. Placing in your earbuds, you grabbed your laptop and homework, trying to get most of it done so you could have some down time.

Absorbed within your chemistry work, you got a sudden ding. Showing the screen of your phone, you saw a little text bubble, Gerard’s name on the top. “Hey Y/N! It’s Gerard, I was wondering what days would work best for you to work on the project? You could come over to my place, as long as you feel comfortable. Everyday this week works for me.” It read.

You smiled as you opened up your phone, heading straight to the messages app, and responding. “Tomorrow works! Right after school?” You sent, a little three dotted message bubble showing he was typing popping up immediately after. “Sounds great :)” He finished. You placed your phone back down, playing some more of your music and continuing your homework.

Finally submitting all your assignments, you closed your laptop and walked downstairs to find your mom working at the kitchen table. “Hey, sweetheart.” She lightly smiled at you.

“Hey mom.” You smiled back, going to grab a snack from the pantry.

“How was your day at school?” “Good.” You sighed.

“Good.” She responded.

“By the way, I have to go to a friend’s house tomorrow to do a project for AP psych with.” “Alright.” She responded, still writing a few things down, “Sounds great.”

-Time skip-

“Hey, Y/N.” Gerard waved walking up to your locker after school.

“Hey,” You responded and smiled, “Just a minute, I just need to finish putting my stuff away.” “Yeah, of course, take your time.” You finished stuffing your various collection of textbooks and overfilled binders in your backpack, zipping it up and throwing it over your shoulder. “Ready?” He asked and you nodded.

The two of you walked out into the streets, as you followed Gerard down only a few blocks and to a large sky rise in lower Manhattan, near the financial district, where your school was. The two of you walked through the large glass doors, through the marble lobby, and into the elevators where he pressed 68. It was pretty silent as you rode your way up, and once the box dinged, you two got out and walked through a long hallway, down to the last door, where Gerard put his key in, jingled a bit, and let the two of you in.

The apartment was large, and gorgeous. Nothing like you had ever seen. It was also expensive, you knew by just looking at it. Everything was so large, large windows the scaled floor to ceiling that overlooked New York. You were in a trance by the beauty of it all. “You like it?” You heard Gerard behind you. You nodded.

“Uh, yeah,” You said, trying to pretend everything was normal, “It’s really cool.” He lightly smiled.

“Thanks.” He responded, “Do you want anything to drink, by the way? Water, tea, coffee?” “A water would be great, thank you.” You looked back. He smiled again, going to the fridge and grabbing two bottles, handing one to you and keeping one for himself. “Thanks.” “No problem.” He looked up, “Do you mind working in my room? If you don’t feel comfortable I get it I-” “No, it’s completely fine.” You reassured him, glad to see the respect he held. He led the two of you through a few various large hallways and into his room, in the corner of the apartment.

The room was huge, the two out of four walls that weren’t huge windows were covered with various posters of Star Wars, Marvel heroes, even Watchmen. Your mouth opened slightly in awe, all of it was just too cool. And stuff that you liked.

“It’s really nerdy I know.” He stated awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“No, it’s awesome.” You lightly laughed.

“R-really?” He stuttered, looking to you with wide eyes.

“Well yeah, I mean, who wouldn’t think it is?” He shrugged.

“You just seemed like a girl who-” “Would be into nail polish and shopping and gossiping about boys. Yeah, I know.” You sat down on his bed. “But, to tell you a secret, I fucking love Star Wars. And Marvel.” You smiled.

“Really?” He asked again, sitting next to you.

“Yeah, my younger brother and dad loved them before I did, but I stated to tag along to see Marvel movies and would watch Star Wars with them at home. And I fell in love with it.”

“That’s cool,” He said, “I’ve always just liked them.” You nodded. There were a few moments of awkward silence, “Should we get started.” You nodded.

“We probably should.” The two of you went through your bags, grabbing your binders designated to the class.

“So why don’t we go with positive and negative reactions to social interactions?” You nodded, and he continued, “So, do you have any ideas for positive or negative reactions?” “Sure,” You began, “If you tell someone they’re smart, that would be a positive reaction.”

“Great,” He wrote it down, “Or giving someone else money would be a positive reaction.” “Yeah,” You said thinking for a moment. You noticed Gerard looked at you for a moment, seemingly studying your facial features while you pretended to look away, focusing on another example.

“We could try some examples now.” “Great,” You turned to him a little more. “So, Gerard,” You began, as he placed his notebook and pencil down. “I like your hair.” You said and he lightly smiled.

“Thanks,” He said, “You have pretty eyes.” He said next.

“Thanks.” You could feel yourself blush as you smiled.

“You are a super cool guy, and you have an awesome personality.” You said next. He took a pause.

“Do you mean that?” He asked, stopping himself only a moment later, “Never mind, that was stupid, these are just examples.”

“No, I do mean it.” You said, with a confused look. “You really are pretty cool.” He looked even more shocked.

“You’re just saying that to be nice I-” “I’m saying it because it’s true, Gerard.” You stated. It was only silent for a few more seconds.

“Well um,” He began, “You’re absolutely gorgeous.” You looked at him for a brief moment, making sure your ears were reliable at the moment. He noticed your stare, “That was creepy, wasn’t it? I’m so sorry-” “No, no, that was really sweet.” You lightly blushed and looked away before laughing. “Great, now you’re making me shy!” You smiled like a fool at him.

“Well you said something truthful, so I did too.” “Y-you meant that?” You asked next and he nodded.

“Yeah, I mean, did you not know that?” He asked as if it were obvious. You shook your head.

“I mean, my mom calls me beautiful and all but that’s different.” “I thought you knew, I mean, I’m surprised you haven’t been picked up by a model agency yet. You’re absolutely stunning.” He smiled.

“I um, I-” You paused, “That’s too much.” He shook his head.

“Do you know how many guys would like to call you theirs?” He asked next, you shook your head again, “Literally every single one in our grade.” You shook your head again with a smile.

“Oh please.” “What? I’m for real here.” He smiled, “Literally any guy would be lucky to have you as a girlfriend.” You nudged him playfully. “Well I can say the same for you. But a boyfriend, of course.” You lightly giggled and he chuckled.

“I mean, if you say so.” He grabbed his notebook and pencil again, “By the way,” He began, “I, um, this is going to sound so weird, but would you like to go on a date maybe? Like somewhere? If you say no I completely get it I just thought it was worth a shot-” “I would love to,” You smiled. “Let’s finish this real quick, and then I’ll send you my house address. How about Friday, after school? After our big presentation, ya know?” “Yeah, sounds great.” He said, smiling bigger than before and looking between you and the page. “It’s a date.”

[incantavaxx]

Translation

Filippo: “So basically, what happened? It all started two years ago when my sister Eleonora met this new redhead at school, a super messy one, to the point where all her old friends hated her, they randomly flipped her off, just to let you understand. She also had a thousand problems with her boyfriend, who actually didn’t do absolutely anything to her *he’s such a Gio stan omg*, but she had convinced herself that he did, but whatever, let’s ignore that. So basically my sister and this Eva became best friends and they throw in the middle three other girls, Silvia, Federica and Sana, totally random. Anyway go with parties and fights and eventually Silvia even manages to do some dirty stuff with the hotty of the school, Edoardo, mark this name, too bad he’s under a train for my sister, who technically hates him tho because she says he’s a maschilist asshole and that he has shitty hair, which is true by the way. *FILIPPO IS YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY BLIND OR WHAT* But let’s go with order. At some point Eva convinces herself that her boyfriend cheated on her, and BAM, she cheats on him with one of Edoardo’s friends, a fuckboy, such as Federico Canepallo, Canecoso, something like that. *Filippo is not here for that Eva/Canegallo bullshit we stan* He finds out, she cries a lot, he forgives her but in the end she’s the one breaking up with him and honestly it’s not like we really understood why. Anyway he tries to get over it and hits -badly- on this Sofia, called the Argentina, just like all his friends, except Martino that doesn’t really seem drawn towards this Argentina or in general towards any girl. Martino all confused, Martino all alone, and of course who accepts this burden? Me. Maybe not just me *EXACTLY, LET’S RESPECT GIOVANNI GARAU*, but who had to listen for two months to all his paranoia, “and I didn’t know this was the gay street” “and I’m not gay but I date Niccolò” “and I have a borderline boyfriend” “and Niccolò had another lover before me”, so moral of the story, who is to thank if they’re now happy and live together? *CHICCO RODI, FILIPPO, I LOVE YOU BUT IT’S OUR LORD AND SAVIOR CHICCO RODI THAT WE HAVE TO THANK, JUST LIKE ALWAYS* Whatever. So everything seemed perfect…and what do I find out! I find out that my sister, quiet quiet, was secretly seeing Edoardo! And then: drama. And tell Silvia, and make up with Silvia, and accept that Edo is a little violent, but deep down he only does it to help his friends so he’s a good guy, and let’s survive all the blackmailings from his perv brother and when at the end everything seems resolved...he goes to study in America. And he asks my sister to go with him. And I’m even happy about that actually. Because I’m perfectly able to stay home alone anyway. Perfectly. *his face says he can’t, he’s probably eating with his hands because he hasn’t washed the dishes in three months* Anyway at the end everyone’s happy. Eva with Canepallo, Silvia with Luchino, Giovanni with this Sofia, *he’s so bitter about Gioeva omg* but Sana in all of this…Ah. Boh. Because no one knows what Sana thinks actually.” *Did you really list everyone Filippo? EVERYONE? NO DISASTER BISEXUAL MISSING FROM YOUR LIST?*

Random Guy: “Okay, and so you’d like me to believe that in all this mess you were alone?” 

Filippo: “Err, yes. Wait, I can’t hear you well, I think I’m losing connection, can you hear me?” *ACTUAL CANON PROOF THAT THIS ASSHOLE IS SECRETLY DATING ELIA SANTINI* 

Random Guy who is being refused because Filippo already has a boyfriend: “Whatever, anyway I’m telling you, no one ever invented such a lie not to go out with me before.”

Filippo: “Nah, what are you on about, come on. You don’t get it. This house is like a common house now, all these teenagers appear here without even warning me, this is the level we are at. One day it’s that one that broke up with his boyfriend, the next day that other one is throwing up all over Eleonora’s bed, what can I do? Now Sana called me because she doesn’t know where to BURY her brother, like, I don’t even feel that good if I’m honest, I’m getting anxiety, now I’m gonna go make a chamomile tea.”

Random Guy: “Yeah, sure. Whatever, bye bello!”

Filippo: “Wait, wait, wait. Wait. Do you trust me Rose?”

Random Guy “No.”

*NO ONE TRUST YOU FILIPPO JUST ADMIT IT ALREADY, YOU ARE DATING ELIA*

[tessarichardss]

new york’s very own tessa richards was spotted on broadway street , with a striking semblance to zoey deutch ! you may know them as @tessarichards or hitting the front page of tmz as ex-reality star rumored to have moved to new york for an internship with hassenfeld children’s hospital . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-fourth birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being guarded , but also tenderhearted . things that would paint a better picture of you would be endless nights you’ll never forget, sunflowers, running barefoot through an open field . ( cisfemale + she/her  ) +  (  saxon , twenty-six , she/her , cst )

Out Of Character

Hello bbies! 🥰 My name is Saxon and I’d like you to meet the absolute labor of my love Tessa and love her even though she doesn’t deserve it! We are always open for connections, ideas or plots so please, please, please do not hesitate to hit me up if you want to conjure something up with this lovable and ridiculous energetic puppy. I look forward to roleplaying with you and your children!

Basic Information

Full Name: Tessa Grace Richards.

Nickname(s): Tess.

Birthday: Febuary 10th, 1996. 

Orientation: Heterosexual.

Language(s) Spoken: English, Spanish.

Background

So Tessa was born to an unwed couple who were in their mid 30′s at the time, her mom thought the two of them were hopelessly in love until Tessa was four and dude just dipped? Her mom came home one day and all his stuff was gone, no note or anything, he drained their account and they haven’t ever heard from him since.

This obviously fucked Tessa up young because she has mad issues with love meaning anything and also abandonment, like she definitely doesn’t sleep well at night because she spent years waking up and running to the window every time she saw car lights, thinking it was him coming home.

Her mom is an absolute saint of a woman however (think Lorelai from Gilmore Girls meets Donna  Sheridan from Mamma Mia), just an absolute quirky angel of a woman who definitely took in and helped abandoned animals but was also the place all the kids in town knew they could go if they had shitty parents/living situations or just a bad day and they needed a safe place to go? So obviously she stepped up and took down all dudes pictures and just raised Tessa like the single boss she is.

Tessa grew up into like an angel of a kid but oh buddy was she a chaotic one. Total tomboy, full of insane energy and personality, always on the move and exploring and doing things she shouldn’t be. Definitely the type to show up back at home as the suns going down just covered in dirt and bumps and bruises. 100% knocked her own baby teeth out from falling and slamming her face and had two front silver teeth as a little kid.

She was never very girly and because she grew up in this southern town that was just full of very critical asshole kids from more well-off families than her own was, particularly the girls who were very prissy, she definitely ended up clicking more with boys and quickly became ‘one of the guys’. Like undoubtedly had an all male friend group and was definitely the girl that girlfriends would be paranoid about while all the dudes were like confused as to how their girls were jealous because Tessa was just like another guy/little sibling, there was no interest on either end.

She had two shitty relationships as a teenager, the first cheated on her because she wasn’t ready to have sex and then the second whom she actually gave it up to, turned out to just be with her on a bet to see how long it would take him to get in her pants? She ended up punching dude in the face when she found out and broke his nose and asshole’s family actually wanted to press charges until Mama Richards shut the shit down.

TW: SUICIDE ATTEMPT MENTION Has slight anger management issues? Like she’s chill but when she blows up man does she blow up. Pushed a girl down a flight of stairs at school after she made a remark about a friend who had tried to commit suicide, the family did press charges this time and Tessa had to go to anger management classes and serve community service hours. She also got kicked out of school and just decided not to go back, went online and just got her GED at seventeen instead.

She was (and still is) very close and attached to her mom, absolute most important person in her life, but she worried about her so much her mom realized she probably wasn’t ever planning on leaving? So her mom got the help of her friends and they actually filled out an application for her to go onto a reality tv show? Seems crazy but each season took place in a different part of the world and her mom knew she wanted to travel but would never make the decision herself so when she got cast her mom was just like “lol here you go bye now”.

She hated it at first because she had grown so used to Texas and the country and her friends and making sure her mom was okay that it gave her a lot of anxiety and stress but she actually fell in love with it? Made a lot of close friends, became a fan favorite of sorts and would you believe it, the dumbass fell in love.

This boy wormed his way into her heart and it was a kind of a slightly unstable relationship because she would try and push away from him and her feelings but he always drew her back? He even proposed after like months of them being together and she panicked and ran but still he drew her back and they agreed that they should chill with the idea of engagement/marriage? He ended up leaving the show after like their fourth messy break up? And she, would you believe it, followed. The two ended up sleeping together but she was overly aware of the fact that he wasn’t actually in love with her anymore so she saved herself any awkward conversation and further heartbreak by just dipping before he woke up. 

After this, Tessa returned to Texas and spent a solid week just out partying and drinking with friends and suddenly - BAM, she was having a one night stand with a complete stranger which was rather out of pocket for her and then even more suddenly - BAM, a pregnancy with no clue as to who the child’s father was. Thankfully it ended up being the one night stand’s and he turned out to be an incredible guy and father.

Obviously she never returned to the show and focused instead on becoming a mother and setting up a future for herself and her child.

She’s always been a big fan of kids (worked for a daycare after school, actually helped start up a charity that works with orphans/orphanages while on the show) and so she decided that she wanted to be a child life specialist and started attending school during her pregnancy and the two years that followed.

She ended up having a little girl named Addison, this child is her whole world and she’s 1000% the mom that posts about their kid too much on social media but she’s 100% turned Tessa’s life around and helped her mature in ways she wouldn’t have without her and she just loves her kid more than anything/anyone else. 

She assumed her life would remain in Texas until a trip to New York a few months back to visit Alex Morgan (who remarked on the fact that she should move in) ended with her packing up her daughter and her bags within less than a month and landing her in the state for the foreseeable future. 

She’s currently continuing her last year of school through online classes in order to get her bachelors while interning at the Hassenfeld Children’s Hospital. 

Personality

A dork? Literally the biggest dork, the dorkiest of dorks, just a whole friggen dork. This child rambles like you wouldn’t believe and her mouth 100% works faster than her brain so like you never know what to expect but she’s just a happy, friendly, sarcastic little bean with social anxiety and a heart of gold tbh.

Also an aggressive lil’ lady though, like 12/10 chance she’ll throw hands if you want to fuck with or say something about the people she loves.

A chaotic soul as well like down to party and have a good time and will definitely drink a dude under the table, definitely broke her ribs two summers in a row from a drinking game because this child doesn’t know when to slow down or chill out, she’s just trying to live.

Emotional as hell, like definitely cries during commercials and Disney movies, but like if you’re trying to tap into her serious emotions she’s gonna shut that shit down. She keeps people locked out tbh and just jokes about the serious shit in her life if she does talk about it.

Desired Connections

Friends? This is tricky because she was basically in Texas for most of her life and then traveling? But someone who lived in/visited Texas and they met? Someone she met while filming the show in some random country - they were living there or traveling and met while she was out and about one day? Maybe someone she met through her charity work? Someone who has a kid or a younger sibling/niece/nephew/godchild who she took care of at the hospital or even on a home visit and they met her/know her that way?

Exes? So her most recent ex is off limits because it’s based off a real connection but like either of her exes from high school? The first one would have had to have lived in Texas for some time but the latter could have been visiting friends/family for a summer? If anyone has a character that works for these I’m down for the drama, especially the second because Tessa is fully ready to break dude’s nose again.

Half siblings? So Tessa’s dad basically bailed when she was little - maybe he had another family? Could have had a kid before her who he also bailed on, could have started a family during the same time or after, he could have stayed there for them or bailed on them as well? They could know about Tessa, or neither could know about the other? Tessa pry wouldn’t know about them because she made it a point to never bother searching for this man let alone any family but literally I’m down for whatever other ideas you’ve got on this one!

Honestly Tessa needs some guy friends! Like I said she’s always been very much more one of the guys - would rather be drinking a beer watching a sports game and yelling than going on a shopping spree okay she has 0 interest, and since she moved from home she needs a new guy group to cause trouble with but also, who makes a better wing woman than a girl okay? Chaos friend but also mom friend rolled into one because she will get involved in shenanigans but will also call you out for acting dumb too.

Also here’s some open, wanted musing connection ideas; https://tessarichardsmusings.tumblr.com/tagged/tessa-%2B-open

Pinterest

[thehermitsforest]

Chapter 4

The grey creature, with four flat feet, one long nose of a trunk, tiny faded eyes, and a tail resembling a brush, was the most unappealing thing Cecil had ever seen. It was the impossible size of at least 20 Eduardo’s, Cecil prodded its skin to decipher whether this thing had been a reality to walk on land, or an elaborate art project. It’s skin was hard, but soft, the way dead animals are when rigour mortis begins to set in.        “I don’t like it.” Cecil said to Eduardo.       “Hello?" Eduardo called.       “Help me please” the dead beast said       “I don’t think we can” Eduardo said.       “I’m stuck! Please it won’t take a moment” the voice cried out as a hand appeared desperately waving from the other side of the beasts belly.       “This could be a trap” Eduardo said as Cecil walked around the beast, and shattered wood and metal poles that were crushed beneath it. On the other side of the creature there was a tanned man covered in black quarter moons, chains were stuck around his elbows, and one of his feet were caught between two metal poles.       “I’m stuck” he said “please untie me.”       “Who are you?” Eduardo asked. His eyes glanced over Eduardo and landed on Cecil thoughtfully “I’m just a spirit of a herd of horses, you can call me Carry please untie me.”       “How did you get here?” Eduardo asked.       “Got caught by a spirit hunter, this grey asshole fell out the sky, saved my life by squishing ‘em, but I’m stuck, it won’t take a second for you to just pull these chains off me, then I’ll go on my way.” Cecil nodded and leant down to pull the chains off him.       “AH!” Cecil jumped up holding his hand, with a single slightly red finger held tightly to himself “no you’re dead.”       “No!” Carry cried desperately “just use a stick and push the chains off! Please!”       “No” Cecil said “come on Eduardo he’s dead.” Eduardo leant down to the man and pulled at the chains “how did the traders catch you Carry?”       “I don’t talk to humans” Carry said and was silent.       “Fine, then die” Eduardo said and paused.       “W-wait, okay. Release me first then I’ll tell you how.”       “Fine, but if you try to run away he'll eat you” Eduardo said and nodded to Cecil with his head.       “Thanks but I’m not hungry.” Cecil said, but with a look from Eduardo he amended himself “but I’m happy to kill a tiny spirit such as yourself.”       “I won’t scatter then, damn- who eats people? You need a doctor mate” Carry said, as Eduardo finished pulling the chains off him. Eduardo threw the chains on to the floor and grabbed one of the bars laying heavily on Carry, and lifted it just enough so he could pull himself out. Carry bounced up and joyfully dusted himself off, his arms to his hands were completely red from where the chains had been against him. He stretched and flexed his arms and legs.       “Thank you” she nodded to Eduardo who held his own hands close to his own body, he nodded.       “You folks heading down this road? I’ve got miles to go, so I hope you don’t mind if I gab and walk.” Carry said without stopping to confirm and began marching away. Cecil and Forest were quick to pick up speed, with a curious eye upon him.       “I got caught by spirit traders because I saw a spirit in need of help. Can you believe that?”       “Like you just now?” Eduardo frowned.       “No not like me” Carry said walking quickly. She was much taller than either of the other spirits, and they almost had to jog to keep up with her long strides.       “I actually needed help” Carry said “I doubt I’d have got out of that if that big grey thing hadn’t fallen from Up Top. A spirit called Cave made out like she was injured so I went to help her, and bam next thing I know I’m in a cage. Look out for caves folk.”       “You went to help another spirit?” Eduardo asked confused.       “Absorb” Cecil whispered behind his back. Eduardo rolled his eyes.       “Why would a spirit help hunters? She can’t have been after gold.” Eduardo said.       “No, she had some sort of agreement with the traders where they would keep letting her go back to her cave as long as she helped them catch other spirits, at least thats what I over heard.”       “How’d they catch her then?” Eduardo asked.       “You think I’m made of answers? Wait, what are you two even up to? What are you a spirit of?” Carry asked.       “Marsh” Eduardo said.       “I’ve been out here for days, I’m pretty sure she’s dead.”       “Um” Cecil said holding his tree “the sky.”       “Bullshit. Fine, keep your secrets, though I might start to think you are not as big as you misled me to believe. What are you doing out here?”       “Spirit rescue mission” Eduardo said.       “Boy don’t, no. They’ll catch you, and then you will die. Whole place is like a ghost town, but… without the ghosts, don’t be letting humans take you out for no good reason.”       “We’re going to the big city. Top City. Large City-”              “Up Top” Eduardo corrected Cecil.       “I’m going to kill a whole bunch of humans up there, and brake out a spirit.”       “You know that they have guns that shoot chains at you right? You can’t do anything once you get a pair of those on you.”       “Oh. Eduardo?” Cecil asked.       “We go in quietly disguised as humans and brake her out.” Eduardo said.       “I guess that could work.” Carry said stopping in his tracks. He turned to them.       “Or, maybe you should kill them, I mean with my help and a few others, who knows, we could wipe the spirit slave trade out. The only place they trade is Up Top, if Up Top doesn’t exist, we can go back to minding our own business.”       “That sounds like a hassle” Cecil said “I don’t see it.”       “Our kind is being wiped out, and for just a few months of human flexing. It’s disgusting. Perhaps it is fate our paths crossed, we will lead the revolution.”       “Nah, we’re good, right Cecil?” Eduardo asked.       “Yep.”       “Thanks for your help though, bye.”       “Bye? Ahh, you fellas want me to scatter now?” Carry asked.       “You’re good I won’t hurt you” Cecil said, as Carry looked to the distant road as she walked, silent for a moment.       “That’s jolly good of you to say chaps, but being a horse an all I sure do love to walk. What say I walk with you perhaps tell you more tales of humans, I could even protect you small folks from any bigger spirits.”       “You don’t say?” Cecil asked sarcastically.       “We’re good, maybe we should split.” Eduardo said.       “I must insist, we are both on the same road for at least a day and- I can’t scatter. My arms” Carry said the act in his voice braking as he showed his red raw arms “they’re practically solid. I’m just as strong as ever! But… I couldn’t scatter before, and I still seem to be experiencing the effects….. I’m sure just for a little while, we are all good friends now, and from entirely different places from this country, we should stay separate, and friendly, and work together.”       “Wow that sure is a sophisticated argument” Eduardo said.       “Whatever, then but don’t be starting wars around us.” Cecil said.       “Thank you” Carry said relieved.

Chapter 4

Chapter 3

Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Prologue

[jeonqqin]

me and my lovely moots as the OG gang because;

why not?

@mikoto-ica-fics as Bang Chan

reasons why;

mica is our grandpa

mica is also hot asfucck

got those calm leader vibes

also the only sain one

is loGical

but also will most likely skin someone for her babies (hehe that’s us)

but she still complains when we bother her

we are her biggest hassle

also is the shyest baby when getting complimented (pls compliment her, it’s hilarious)

wants everyone to be healthy and happy

#stoptalkingaboutalcohol

#andstartpayingattentiontoyourkids

#theyregettingaway

definitely needs more sleep

@mini-meanhoe as Lee Minho

reasons why;

summer is always spouting something sexual

she owns all of us let’s be honest

will probably eliminate one of us in the future

has definitely thought about killing all us younger ones

endless supply of people thirsting over her

(probably) has killed someone just by looking at them

BDE (big dick energy) to the MAX

has a secret closet(???)

won’t tell us what’s in it but I have my suspicions

cute but will rip your face off if you call her that

I suggest that you do not call her cute if you want to live

unless you’re alice then you can do whatever you want smh

@chanonymous as Seo Changbin

reasons why;

seems super mysTeriOus

but is a big ol softy

has the same energy as “binsual”

bc yeah she pretty hot

I LOVE DARKEU PFF—

acts all tough

but really she be a baby

unintentionally adorable

but like,, I feel like she will knock your lights out

and that’s hot too shoot—

her duality is too much for this world

will be a cute ass baby one second

but then turn around and kick your ass

@lixiefe as Hwang Hyunjin

reasons why;

okay hear me out

don’t you dare question me on this okay?

mal is the cutest creature on this earth and that is what’s up

and she could be talking like a regular person one second just being all adorable

then BAM

your heart is in peices

but like in the best way

understand?

also like she is aesthetic asFUCK

she’s gorgeous

so gorgeous

and the sweetest thing to ever walk this earth

and none of us deserve her *sigh*

@jeonqqin (ME DUDE) as Han Jisung

reasons why;

you can’t deny

I’m a whiny asshole

with everything

especially with alice

but I’m also loud, hyper, and clingy ASFUCK

22nd century fashion bITCH

squirrel cheeks ™

and I’m good at everything hA and super duper handsome

(not really..... unless 👀)

so yknow

jisung guys

I rest my case

@ammuqwer as Lee Felix

reasons why;

this is the most obvious choice

she’s perfect

TELL. ME. IM. WRONG. I. DARE. YOU.

erryone wants to smash istg

everyone’s favorite

it’s unfair

but she cute so I get it

and shit she’s my favorite too

AND THE DUALITY FUCK

it’s like she’s two different people guys

she will melt your soft ass heart with her cuteness

then fuckin kill you with her coy unabashed BABENESS

idec if that isn’t a word, that’s what she is

a fuckin B A B E

and a B A B Y

but don’t be fooled

she WILL kick your ass

but yknow if you’re into that go ahead and make her mad

@hiddenskz as Kim Seungmin

reasons why;

her and mal work together to fucking kill us all

a part of the duality squad with mal and alice

those three hurt us

I also want to mention that she is one of the babiest of babies goSh

but don’t get me wrong

she’s a coY LITTLE SHIT

but it’s okay bc she cute

lowkey tho don’t tell her I said that

she kinda scares me

bc like???

she’s still confusing to me guys just *SIGH*

SHES HOT AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TAKE IT BC SHES ALSO CUTE AND ADORABLE BUT LIKE IM ALSO SCARED OF HER WHICH MAKES HER EVEN HOTTER GUYS MY LIFE IS TOO HARD

oh yeah she’s also our lil puppy :)

@yangomangos as Yang Jeongin

reasons why;

cmon

its obvious isn’t it?

OG brat

also OG baby

BUT SHES GROWING UP SO FAST I—

IT HURTS

everything she does is cute tbh

like she could just say “good morning” to me

and I’ll literally fall to my knees with tears running down my face

bc this little shit is our BABY

HOW DARE SHE HURT ME BY BEING SO PRECIOUS

she also kinda scary like

where’s your parents??

sorry what did you say??

I’m calling child protective services

that kinda scary

but I love her and we all love her so it’s okay

LMAO ily guys so much you all mean the world to me so please don’t kill me after this okay BYE