#and also experimenting with keeley

[destinationtoast]

Snogging Rebecca was like making out with a grandfather clock: intimidatingly large and elegant, with more hidden complexity than you might first imagine.

- Keeley, in a fic I dreamt I was writing last night

[axelsagewrites]

Roy Kent*Bus Buddy

Pairing: Roy x reader

Word count: 2511

Warnings: pure fluff, Jamie flirting with reader, protective Roy, swearing

Masterlist here

at the same time that Ted got hired Rebecca had also decided she needed an assistant to enact her perfect revenge, so the boys often saw you walking around Richmond or at press interviews. Any time you entered the locker room wolf whistles from Jamie rang across the room followed by a loud ‘shut it’ from Roy. Usually, you’d object to Jamies actions, but the routine had become so common you found it funny especially when Roy dogged him into Keeley one time, and you saw him drag Jamie by the ear.

You weren’t sure why the tough and silent Roy Kent was so protective of you, but you were grateful to know walking into a locker room filled with men that he had your back. the longer you were around the team though you realised none of the boys would even hurt a fly.

still locker rooms or crowded hotel lobbies could get rowdy, and Roy almost acted as security, weaving you through the crowd and telling everyone to fuck off. any thanks you gave him were met with grunts, nods, or two-word answers.

sometimes you had to talk to Roy though, but you never complained. whenever you had forms for him to sign or events you wanted him to attend, sadly only on a work basis, he gladly complied without fuss. feeling his hand brush, yours as he took the pen from your hand or getting to secretly glance at his face as he filled out the forms was enough to make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

you’d convinced yourself your crush was harmless. after all he was Roy Kent, an absolutely loaded footballer with an exterior tougher than diamond. its not like you flirted with him or stared at him. well not on purpose at least.

this weekend saw Richmond visiting another stadium a six-hour drive away for their next match. usually, you travelled with Rebecca but due to some other things she had to get done this weekend, aka a spa trip with Keeley you were secretly so jealous about, she had decided to send you as a representative. however, this also meant you got to arrive at Richmond Friday afternoon with a packed bag and a bunch of rowdy footballers.

“Well look who our newest bus buddy is,” Ted said, putting his hands on his hips as you approached the gaggle of men. “Hope you don’t mind being down graded to ride with us bunch of savages,” he joked as he ticked your name off his clipboard. you really did appreciate Teds soccer mom vibes.

You laughed as you dragged your suitcase up to stand by Ted at the bus, “Please how bad can it be? it’s just a bus,”

“Yeah, but with these twats,” Roy’s voice made Ted jump, but you just turned and smiled, ready to say hi, but Roy just walked past you. He picked up his suitcase, tossing it under the bus before turning back and picking yours up and placing yours in with far more care than he had with his own. When you said thanks, Roy just nodded before heading onto the bus, assumably to secure the most isolated spot he could.

Ted let out a low whistle as Roy walked off, “He’s a charmer alright,” he said, his eyes scurrying around before leaning down to whisper to you, “If I didn’t know any better I’d think he’s sweet on you,” You laughed but before you could even try to deny it Ted was pointing at your face, “and if I’m not blind you my friend are blushing,”

“Shut up Ted,” was all you managed to say before Nate walked over and thankfully Ted knew better than to keep going in front of him.

while you were talking to Nate and Ted the bus all the players had arrived and assembled on the bus. you were the last to climb on the bus since even though you knew it couldn’t be that bad six hours on a bus was still a dire experience. “Oi need a seat love?” Jamie hollered from the back of the bus, already tossing his bag to his feet.

“There’s a seat by me,” Dani pipped up from a few rows in front of Jamie.

you laughed, trying to think who would be the least awkward seat mate. however, as you went to move forward, figuring Dani would be less out right flirty than Jamie you were stopped by Roy standing up from his seat and stepping into the aisle.

when you looked up at him, expecting him to say something, he just looked down at the window seat he had just given up. you smiled as you moved to sit down, “Thanks,” you said squeezing past him, “Thanks boys but I prefer the front of the bus,” you said before settling down for the ride.

Roy dropped into the aisle seat and while you knew he was trying to keep in his seat the bus seats were only so big, so your thighs were bumping into each other, “Thanks for saving me,” you whispered to him.

Roy chuckled under his breath, “Really think I’d let you get tortured back there like that?” he whispered back making his voice sound even sexier if possible. the bus set off only a few minutes later and now you were trapped in a bus with 25 rowdy men who instantly started talking amongst themselves and playing bus games. “Bet you wish you’d never got on this bus,” Roy said in a low voice but with all the noise at least you didn’t have to whisper.

“Nah I don’t mind, honest,” you said, settling into your seat, “Sitting in a silent plane with Rebecca can get awkward,”

“Sorry I’ve not got any champagne for ya,” Roy joked and for the rest of the ride you actually talked the whole way which is the longest you’ve ever spoke to him for. you were almost sad when the bus pulled up outside the hotel.

without a word Roy had grabbed your suitcase and his, walking into the hotel still wrapped up in a debate about which ice cream flavour was superior. “Checking in together?” The receptionist asked making you blush, and Roy clear his throat.

“Eh no, separate,” he said, glancing down at you but you wish he hadn’t since you knew your cheeks were flaming hot as you gave the woman your information. however, after getting checked in Roy still carried your cases, taking them up to your room with you in silence. He sat the bag down in front of your room for you as you unlocked the door, “I’m just down the hall. 203. so eh if anyone gives you bother or these twats are too loud tonight give me a knock,”

“Will do captain,” you said, trying your best to stay composed as you got into your room, shutting the door behind you so you could freak out.

the next day was too hectic to even think about flirting with Roy or even catching a glimpse of him off the field. however, Richmond had managed to secure a tie which for them right now was a big win. however, what was not a big win was the fact that you had to get back in the coach that day since the team had a bunch of press to do tomorrow at Richmond.

between the game, the press interviews, everyone showering and getting into clean clothes, and checking out you weren’t even set to leave till 10pm despite the game kicking off at 1:30pm. you were already yawning as you came down the lift to the reception.

most of the boys were also absolutely shattered. running for 90 minutes straight at full speed was tiring enough without also having to pack and do press. you had got to sit during the game, but you also had the job of Rebecca all day so now you really understood why she needed that spa weekend. “Bus said it’ll be pulling up in five minutes,” you yawned as you sat your bag down, “Head count time,” you said.

you felt like a primary teacher, but you didn’t care as you walked around, counting each player as you put your hand on their head. they were all too tired to complain and even Issac let you touch his hair. “twenty three,” you said, counting Dani before stopping, “Wow your hair is soft,” you gasped before continuing as Dani beamed from his seat, “Twenty four,” you said, reaching up to pat Roy’s head but you were too tired to see the way he smiled at you when you did, “Twenty five,” you finished, putting your hand on your own head making Roy chuckle quietly. “We didn’t lose anyone, great job team. now shift it, I wanna sleep,”

“You heard her twats, get moving,” Roy said, his loud voice shocking everyone including the hotel staff. at least it got the boys moving though. Roy cleared his throat as he glanced down at you, “Need a seat buddy again?” he asked as you filed out behind all the boys.

you smiled up at him, “Yeah that’d be nice. Its your turn for the window seat,”

“I don’t mind, you keep it,” he said as you finally got to the bus. the boys were all tossing their cases in and filing into the bus with very few mumblings between them. you were silently thankful everyone was exhausted, “Just don’t fall asleep standing,” Roy’s joke snapped you back to reality as he loaded in your cases.

“Fine but I make no promises about the bus,” you said as you walked to get on, Roy offering for you to go first. a sweet gesture to you and silently Roy was grateful for the chance to check out your ass. “This seat, okay?” you said, plopping down into the first available seat. Roy didn’t even reply as he sat down next to you.

Ted was the last to get on and while you usually loved his speeches today you just did not care. “Now all yall try get some shut eye. Six hours of sleep would do you all the world of good right now,”

“Yes coach,” rang out in a sleepy chorus as everyone settled in to nap on the bus for the night.

as you looked around you saw Jamie in the seat across from you with a blanket already pulled over him and Dani a seat behind you with an eye mask on, “I am clearly not prepared,” you joked quietly to Roy.

Roy looked over, seeing his fellow teammates who were used to these late-night busses, “You can borrow my jacket if you get cold,” Roy said quietly making you inwardly melt, “Not much of a blanket but it’s warm,”

“I’ll think about it,” you yawned, making Roy smile as he saw how you stretched away your sleep. or well tried to. the ride set off and you could already hear soft snores across the bus. any of the boys who couldn’t sleep had headphones in and you had never been more grateful.

you sat in silence, looking out the window as the head lights of other cars went past and let yourself sink further into your seat. you barely noticed when Roy shrugged his jacket off or realise how close to him you were getting but you could feel your eyelids growing heavier with each passing moment.

Roy however had noticed the soft snores coming from you when your eyes had finally closed, unable to fight sleep off anymore. he was thankful everyone was asleep or not paying attention as he got to look down at you sleeping on his shoulder with a soft smile. after a few minutes, sure you were asleep, he gently pulled his jacket over you like a blanket.

he wasn’t sure when he had fell for you or why, but he’d known for weeks now that he liked you. hell, more than liked. there was just something about you and right now you looked downright adorable as you nuzzled further into him. Roy slipped his arm behind your back, allowing you to properly sleep on him and his hand to rest on your waist.

usually, Roy was far too tense or pent up in rides home to sleep on the bus, especially with a team he just knew were desperate to draw something on his face, but Roy was surprised when he opened his eyes and sunlight blinded him.

the bus was pulling up to Richmond at an ungodly 4 am when Roy realised, he had fallen asleep, his head resting on top of yours. without thinking, still in a sleepy state, Roy pressed a kiss to the top of your head as he moved to sit up. however, when he saw you stir awake, he kicked himself internally, “Are we here?” you yawned, pulling away from him and Roy already missed the feeling of you curled up to him.

“Looks like it,” Roy said as you looked down to realise it had been Roy’s jacket covering you, “You uh looked cold,” Roy said, clearing his throat and thankful he had a beard to cover the way his cheeks grew hot.

“Thanks,” you said, a sleepy smile playing your lips as the rest of the team started to wake. “Did you manage to sleep?”

“A bit yeah,” Roy said, and it was as you shuffle forward Roy realised his mistake when you looked down at his arm, “Sorry bout that,” he mumbled, quickly pulling his arm out from where it had been wrapped around your waist.

“It’s alright I don’t mind,” you said, a smile toying your lips as you stretched to try wake up.

without anything else said, really by anyone, you all filtered off the bus and Roy went to get both your suitcases. Roy cleared his throat as he went to pass yours to you, a nervous habit you’d only just really noticed, “Do you need a lift up the road? my cars just over there,”

“If you don’t mind that’d be great,” you said, so relieved you weren’t going to have to sleep in Rebeccas office, “Don’t hate me if I fall asleep in the car though,”

“Couldn’t hate you if I tried,” Roy said as he took the suitcase back and began to walk to his car. you blushed as you followed behind him, climbing into the passenger side as Roy loaded the bags in, “You all set?” Roy asked as he hopped into the driver’s seat.

when Roy glanced over, he couldn’t help but laugh when he noticed you were already asleep in the car. Roy reached over, buckling you in before getting ready to hit the road. he’d dropped you off a few times from work so he knew the way already, but Roy couldn’t stop himself stealing so many glances at the sight of you. there was no avoiding his feelings now.  Roy Kent was in love.

[its-time-to-write]

Hi!! Thank you for all the amazing writing you do!!! My humble request is of a reader who brings Jamie to meet her family and he’s appalled that someone so kind and gentle is treated w such lack of love/respect (ex: first comment out of her granddad’s mouth is sm about her weight/job/look/etc) and it puts a lot of things about her into perspective. At some point he can’t take it anymore and defends her and then vows to her that he will undo all of that pain and will prove to her she is worthy of all the love:) sorry it’s a long one (got lots of personal experience lol) so no worries if u can’t but it would mean the world thank you!!!

Hi cutie! Here you go! I’m sorry that you have personal experience with this, families can suck sometimes. It’s definitely from Jamie’s POV, so keep that in mind😅 Boy’s a rambler.

stuck by you

Jamie sure knows how to pick them.

No really, he does. He’s always had stellar taste in girlfriends, except usually they have shit taste in men.

It’s different this time, he swears. Keeley swears, too. Swears she’ll break every bone in his body if he so much as looks at you funny, and Jamie… well, Jamie’s not actually terrified of Keeley, just respectful, like.

So he’s going to make sure he doesn’t fuck this up because you’re funny and gorgeous and brilliant and he's also those things, so you’re like a power couple. And when you beg- no, ask, because you only have to ask once- him to come with you for a family event, he says yes without a second thought. 

It’s off-season, but he’d do it in-season in a heartbeat (just with a bit of fear because Ted’s alright, but he’s a little gun-shy since the whole ‘practice’ thing).

It’s also fucking BOILING, so he’s going to wear his least-slutty shorts (it’s a family event) and a shirt that is not see-through. 

He’s not going to fuck this up, not with how sweet you are, how generous, how-

A football hits the side of his head, and he’s brought out of his thoughts. 

“You’re daydreaming, bruv,” comes Isaac’s voice. “What’s the point of a friendly if you can’t even pay attention?”

Jamie gives himself a shake, and he’s firmly in the present. He’s at the mid-off-season-Richmond-party or whatever, and football is a mandatory affair. He makes the mistake of glancing to where you’re standing under a tree in Colin’s backyard and fuck you’re sneaking sweets to the few kids who are flitting around the grass. Fucking Declan and his adorable children. You catch his eye and give him a little wave, and his heart jumps like he’s in primary school and not a world-renowned Premier League athlete. 

Yeah, he’s good and fucked. 

He makes a mental note to get you into bed tonight, he’s pretty sure it won’t be too difficult, but he’s going to have to convince you to leave early. But can you blame him?

(No, no you fucking can’t.)

—

Jamie isn’t nervous to meet your family. Seriously, he isn’t. It’s your family and a) he’s fucking greatwith families and b) he’s fucking great with you. He rocks up with you on his arm, and he’s already making plans for the sundress you’ve got on, mainly how to get in on the floor once you go home. 

You’re both looking fucking fit. Jamie hopes a little bit that someone sneaks a picture of you two and it ends up in the press because this look CANNOT be wasted. 

He almost misses the way your grip tightens as you walk up the steps. He tilts his head in your direction, assessing your expression. 

“You okay?” he asks and receives a tight-lipped smile. 

“Yup,” you reply. “Let’s fucking do this.”

Not the response Jamie was expecting, but he’ll roll with it. You push open the door and walk into the family room and the first thing out of your granddad’s mouth is, “Oh, there she is! Bold of you to wear that dress with the way you’ve been eating, my dear,” and Jamie half-expects you to say something. 

Or for someone to say something. 

Except no one does, they just carry on, and an aunt comes up to you to make a snide comment about your job. 

“You absolutely must be struggling financially dear, but aren’t we all? I just wish I could screw a footballer and have my rent paid.”

She’s gone before Jamie can say anything, and he only needs one look at your face to understand exactly what’s going on. 

You’re not sweet and kind because your family is sweet and kind. Oh no. 

You’re the way you are out of sheer willpower, out of spite; kindness born the way of a weed in concrete. Out of a refusal to die. A decision to be different. 

And it pisses Jamie off. 

He squeezes your hand once, twice, in reassurance, letting you lead him to your parents. He recognizes them from pictures and still retains a vague hope that they’ll be like you. 

Vain, vague hope, but still. 

He catches the way your mum’s lips tighten into a line at your approach, and the way your dad barely suppresses a scoff. 

“Oh look,” your mum says without an ounce of inflection, “you’re here. That’s wonderful.”

“Good to see you mum, dad,” you say with more grace than Jamie would have if the roles were reversed. Your dad holds out his hand to shake yours, barely acknowledging Jamie. Jamie opens his mouth to say something but you clock it, and shoot him a warning glance. 

He freezes and meets your gaze. You shake your head almost imperceptibly and mouth don’t and he almost ignores you, but you’re begging him with your eyes and he swore you’d never have to beg him for anything. 

So he turns away and doesn’t say anything, because he won’t be responsible for breaking you today. 

And it’s just… like that. All day. It’s relentless and he feels powerless to do a single thing except watch as you refuse to let your armor crack, barely letting it dent the surface. 

How did he not know?

It comes to a head when your cousin (a banking twat who Jamie’s certain had a shriveled dick) manages to comment on your weight, (supposed lack of) beauty, and finances in one fell swoop. 

And that’s it. Jamie’s done. 

They want to be pricks? Well, Roy’s been calling him the Prince Prick of all Pricks for fucking years, so let’s fucking go then. 

“Fuck you, you giant limp-dicked twat,” he says with a smile on his face. You freeze, and so does your cousin. 

“What did you just say to me?”

“I said,” Jamie repeats loudly, taking a step closer, “fuck you, you giant. Limp-dicked. Twat.” He punctuates each word with a poke to this arsehole’s chest and fuck, does it feel great. 

He loves you, he’ll respect your wishes moving forward, but he’ll be FUCKED if he lets your family’s behavior continue. What would mummy say?

The entire room has gone silent, and you’ve gone pale. 

But Jamie, Jamie loves an audience. 

“Fuck you all, actually,” he sing-songs, and there are audible gasps. 

Jamie doesn’t give a shit. “You’re all fucking arseholes to my girl, who, by the way, is the fucking best, except you’re all too fucking busy taking shots at her to notice. Don’t know what the fuck she did to all of you, but you can all piss off with that. We’re fucking leaving.” He grabs your hands and pulls you toward the door. 

It’s not like you need much prompting, you’ve been counting down the minutes since you walked in the door. 

“Oh,” he says turning around one last time. “Don’t bother calling. Or writing, or whatever you old twats do, unless it’s an apology for however fucking long you’ve been this shitty. I’ve only got one shit parent, can’t imagine the hell it’s been having two.”

And with that, he ushers you out the door. 

“Jamie,” you gasp as soon as it shuts behind you. “What was that? What were you thinking?”

There’s a strange tightness to your voice, one Jamie’s having trouble placing. 

Or maybe it’s the fact that the sun is setting and it’s tingeing your skin with gold. 

Either way, it’s starting to get to him. “Dunno,” he says with a trace of belligerence. 

You gape at him for a moment before saying, “Can we get in the car, please?”

Jamie says, “Yeah,” and then helps you in, suddenly aware of every bone in his body. 

He swore he wasn’t going to fuck it, and he did. Christ, Keeley’s going to skin him alive. 

He drives in silence the whole way home. You’re just staring straight ahead, and he can tell you’re still processing. Still replaying. You’re better than any VAR, that’s for sure. 

“Jamie,” you say slowly once he’s parked in the driveway. You’ve unbuckled, but you’re still in your seat. “Why did you say all of that?”

Jamie says again, “Dunno,” but you don’t believe him. 

“Why?” you ask again, voice cracking. “It’s not worth it, I’m not worth it.”

And just like that, Jamie understands. 

“You are,” he replies forcefully, except that just makes you cry. 

(He’s pretty sure they’re good tears, though, so he tests it by reaching for your hand. You don’t pull away, which is a good sign.)

“You are worth it,” he says again, in case you didn’t get it the first time. “Shit family’s… it’s shit, babe. I get it, I really fucking do. I’m sorry about them, I really am. And I’m sorry about me, too. Didn’t mean to say ‘fuck’ so many times, suppose I’m around Roy too much.”

That succeeds in lightening the mood, and you smile ever so slightly. 

He says, “They don’t deserve you,” which just makes you laugh. 

“I know,” you reply. “I just always wanted them to be a good family.”

Jamie hesitates. He knows what you mean. 

Finally he says, “People don’t change like that, love. It’s almost- hardwired into them. They get fucking stuck and you can’t change them, no matter what you do. Sometimes you just gotta let them go.”

You nod and take a deep breath. Easier said than done, you suppose. 

Jamie cups your cheek. “I’m with you, babe. It’s you, me, and whatever family we can put together. We’ll put in the work, yeah? Be different.”

“Yeah,” you echo, “we’ll be different.”

[nameless-jamie]

If you ever think about how the interview process/selection went when Jamie first met PAreader. I'd love to see how/why she decided to work for the then prick lol

Or.........

(Sorry, I just got another thought)

The one where Keeley's, amongst many other models, videos and pictures, are leaked it heavily suggests they all came from Jamie's personal email and is "password" so how might she chastise him or clean up the mess that is a problem nightmare. (Perhaps try and make sure no ones links him to the leaks)

Anyways, I love your work! Just some thoughts, lol ❤️

The Interview

Masterlist

Jamie Tartt x fem! PA reader

A/N: I love these ideas! I started with the first one and will maybe work on the second one later, might have to re-watch the episode again. Thank you for your requests!

TW: cursing, innuendos

Leslie Higgins had been nothing but kind since Y/N walked into his office. The interview had gone smoothly so far—Higgins had asked her about her experience, her ability to handle high-pressure situations, and her general thoughts on working with athletes. She had answered confidently, feeling like she was making a solid impression.

Y/N sat across from Higgins, back straight, hands folded neatly in her lap. She had prepared for this. She knew the job of a personal assistant to a football player required organization, patience, and an ability to manage egos. And Jamie Tartt? He was just another potential client to her. A high-profile one, sure, but nothing she couldn’t handle.

Higgins smiled warmly. “You have an impressive résumé. Scheduling, media relations, crisis management—”

“I like to run a tight ship,” Y/N said with a polite nod. “I know athletes have demanding schedules, and my job is to make sure everything runs smoothly.”

“Lovely, lovely,” Higgins said, clearly pleased. “You know, I think you’d be a wonderful fit, but Jamie can be a bit of a, uh… handful, but I have no doubt you’d be able to—”

The door burst open.

“Oi, Higgins, did you find me an assistant yet—”

A man strolled in like he owned the place, sunglasses pushed up into messy blond hair, hands in his pockets. Y/N knew his face well. Everyone did. Jamie Tartt. Star player, tabloid favorite, self-proclaimed legend. And on first impression...a total prick.

Jamie barely glanced at Higgins before his gaze landed on Y/N. He stopped in his tracks, giving her a once-over—not in a sleazy way, more like he was genuinely curious.

“Oh, sick. This my new PA?" He asked curiously. "Ok, listen love, I need you to book me one of those bouncy castle things, should be about as big as the football pitch and—” Jamie gestured around widely, way too overexcited for Y/N's liking.

Y/N exhaled slowly. “Please.”

"What?" Jamie looked at her confused,

"I need you to book me a bouncy castle, please. Also my name is not love, my name's Y/N Y/L/N and I'm not your PA...yet." Y/N reciprocated in a stern voice.

Oh, fuckin' 'ell she is dominant alright. Jamie thought

His expression looked unbothered, though. “Right, alright, ok. She passin’ the vibes test then, Higgins?”

Higgins cleared his throat. “Jamie, this is was supposed to be a professional interview—”

"Well, then I should be part of it, shouldn't I? Should have a say in who I spent everyday of me life with from now on..." Jamie ignored Higgins, plopping down in the chair beside Y/N. “I can be very professional too. What’s your deal, then?”

“My deal,” Y/N repeated, arching a brow. “You mean my qualifications?”

“Yeah, like… why d’you wanna work for me?”

Higgins cleared his throat and answered the question before Y/N could. “Well, Jamie, Y/N has an impressive background in player management. She’s handled schedules for some of the biggest names in the league.”

Jamie barely looked impressed. “Ok but I asked her, didn't I?”

Y/N's jaw tightened. “First of all I’d be working with you, not for you.”

"What, you ain’t already buzzing to work for me?” He said provocatively.

Oh. He was one of those guys.

Y/N kept her expression neutral, but internally, she was already reconsidering her life choices.

“Not until I know it’s worth my time,” she shot back.

“She’s cheeky. I like her.” At that, Jamie’s smirk widened. "Ok but is it true that you've worked with big names in the league? Tell me more, anyone as big as me?"

Y/N rolled her eyes so hard she practically saw the back of her skull. “That depends. Do you mean big as in talent, or big as in ego?”

Jamie smirked, clearly enjoying himself. “Oh, she’s one of them, eh?” He leaned back, arms crossed. “So, what, you proper organized and all that?”

“I pride myself on professionalism.”

“Boring,” Jamie muttered.

Y/N’s nostrils flared slightly, but she kept her expression neutral. “I also make sure my clients don’t embarrass themselves.”

Jamie raised a brow. “Yeah? You reckon you can handle me?”

“I’ve handled worse.”

Jamie laughed, looking genuinely impressed. “Oi, she’s got a bit of bite.” He turned to Higgins. “Yup. I like her. She’s hired.”

Higgins pinched the bridge of his nose. “Jamie, I am the one conducting the interviews.”

"And I'm the one paying for a PA. I want her." Jamie pointed towards her, now turning his full body back to Y/N, ignoring Higgins completely. “Come on, then. You wanna work with me or what?”

Y/N hesitated. He was insufferable. He was full of himself. He was exactly the kind of athlete she typically had no patience for.

And yet.

Something about Jamie Tartt had gotten under her skin—his cheeky arrogance, his ease, the way he didn’t rattle her as much as he should. She was intrigued.

“…Ok,” she said, sitting up straighter. “But if I take this job, you follow my schedule, you listen to my instructions, you stop barging into rooms unannounced and most importantly you behave.”

Jamie grinned. “Yeah, alright. But no promises on the last one.”

Y/N sighed. “Fantastic.”

Jamie leaned forward, elbow on the desk. “One more thing—”

“Yes?”

His grin widened. “Try not to fall in love with me, yeah? That's proper unprofessional.”

Y/N stood, her face beet-red. “I’ll send over my contract terms and I'll start tomorrow. Goodbye, Sir. See you soon, Jamie.”

Jamie laughed as she walked out. Totally not staring at her ass in that prissy little pencil skirt she wore.

Higgins sighed deeply. “I have a feeling I’m going to regret this.”

Jamie smirked towards the now-closed door and said. "Well I have a feeling I'm going to enjoy this..."

[lunar-years]

royjamiekeeley take Phoebe to the glasgow willy wonka chocolate factory experience. Jamie was the one to book the tickets after seeing the online adverts, thinking it would be a fun surprise. After they arrive and the whole thing is such utter shit, Keeley pulls the ad up on her phone to "make sure this is it" and she and Roy see that basically every word is horrifyingly misspelt and the whole thing is complete AI gibberish. Keeley, gently, is all "oh, Jamie..." about it. Meanwhile Roy has stolen Phoebe's single designated jelly bean to lob it at Jamie's head. He also steals Jamie fourth-cup portion of lemonade. Someone recognizes Roy and Jamie and now the whole place is lined up to take pictures of their kids with the famous footballers, because at least that's something more worthy of their 35 pounds than the actual event. Between groups, Roy attempts to murder Jamie with his eyes for putting him through this torment, but he also can't say no to taking endless pictures and signing endless autographs because these are fucking kids. It's not their fault the event is rubbish and Roy's boyfriend is an idiot and put them there. Keeley is busy apologizing profusely to all the actors for her boyfriends' drawing attention away from their "really good, no seriously" performances. She also offers them advice on what to say to the press when they almost certainly come poking around.

Later, Phoebe tells her mother it was an incredible day. She got an absolutely mint picture with The Unknown and wants it framed.

[lassofics]

First Group Kiss

Word count: 950

Timeline: Post Season 3

Warnings: Slightly USFW

Summary: Roy wants his first group kiss with Jamie and Keeley to be special. But three-way kisses are… complicated.

Notes: This fic was written for @polyamships Multiamory March event!!

Maybe Roy should’ve done some more experimenting when he was younger.

Being part of a throuple with the two people in this world he cared about the most (outside of his niece and sister, of course) had been a great experience so far, and it had only been a week.

But it was also exhausting.

Both Keeley and Jamie apparently had the sexual energies of fucking horny teenagers, and while Roy certainly wasn’t going to complain, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep up. He’d already told them on more than one occasion to “just fuck each other and leave me out of it.” Not that he didn’t love it when he was involved, but his libido just wasn’t at the same level.

Romance-wise… it was the opposite. Roy just wasn’t sure how to express that.

It still felt new to him, the whole polyamory thing. But like any good, totally sane partner would, Roy had done research.

Hours of it.

He’d heard about “group kisses.” He’d even seen one in a film once a few years back. It had looked a bit unusual to him back then, but now, he wanted nothing more than to taste both his partners’ lips at the same time.

But how the fuck was he supposed to do that? Just pull them both in, one on each arm? Smash their faces together and pray their noses don’t get in the way? Make a fucking triangle with their lips?

Not knowing how to do it was bothering Roy more than he cared to admit. So, he’d spent a couple hours researching the different ways to do a group kiss with three people. And now, he felt totally prepared to romance the shit out of his partners.

Totally prepared. What could go wrong?

Roy waited until after dinner to make his move. The three of them were just sitting at the table, Keeley chattering away about something she’d read online. In all honesty, Roy wasn’t paying attention.

Once she had finished her story and a comfortable silence enveloped the three of them, Roy interrupted it.

“Oi.” He stands up from his chair, pushing down any residual doubts about whether or not he was doing this right. “C’mere.”

He gently grabs each of their arms with one hand — Keeley on his left, Jamie on his right — and guides them over to the couch.

Jamie, the little shit, just grins as he settles down beside Roy. “What’s this all about?”

Roy just raises an eyebrow at Jamie, figuring he’ll start by shutting the little prick up. Without a word, he leans forward, cupping Jamie’s cheek. The younger man immediately leans into the kiss that follows — slower than their usual kisses. Gentler.

Jamie’s hand comes up to the back of Roy’s neck. Roy deepens the kiss.

When Roy pulls back, Jamie almost whines, like he’s missing the contact. But he doesn’t have time to complain much, because he’s watching Roy turn his face to the left, his lips meeting Keeley’s with that same tenderness.

Keeley returns it just as eagerly, even daring to slide her tongue between Roy’s parted lips. The older man lets out a breath, his eyes closing.

It’s then that Keeley’s hand comes up to rest on top of Jamie’s, right on the back of Roy’s neck. When the kiss is broken, Roy looks between them, then slowly wraps one arm around each of them, pulling them closer.

He doesn’t have to say a word. They get the message. Keeley throws a leg over Roy’s lap and captures Jamie’s lips. Jamie reciprocates… and then opens his mouth a little wider and pulls back from Keeley just enough to leave a small gap.

He cracks one eye open, the corner of his mouth half-upturning into a semi-smirk, his challenging gaze meeting Roy’s.

That’s all the motivation Roy needs. He tightens his grip on Jamie’s waist and yanks him closer, then slips his tongue into the gap.

Jamie gasps, his eyes squeezing shut as his brain attempts to process the fact that the two hottest people in the world are both kissing him at the same bloody time.

Roy and Keeley’s tongues intermingle inside Jamie’s mouth. It’s messy; it’s not perfect, and at one point, Keeley’s nose almost pushes into Jamie’s eyelid, and the younger man has to pull away. But it’s their first time, and that’s good enough for Roy.

They’re all breathing heavily by that point. Keeley’s face is flushed, and there’s a noticeable bulge between Jamie’s legs.

Roy almost laughs. Horny idiots.

But, in this case, they’re not the only ones.

“Right, then,” Roy says, breaking the silence as he stands up, the hint of a smirk on his face. “Bedroom?”

Keeley and Jamie both practically leap off the couch like they’ve just won the fucking lottery. And this time, Roy does laugh, just a little bit.

“Keep up, old man,” Jamie taunts playfully, grabbing one of Roy’s hands to help pull him up. Keeley’s already halfway to the bedroom.

Roy just shakes his head in amusement as he gets to his feet. “I say one word and you lose your shit.”

Jamie just grins unapologetically and starts to practically drag the older man out of the room. “When the word is ‘bedroom,’ yeah.”

Roy rolls his eyes playfully, but he follows Jamie to the bedroom. “Fucking idiot.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Jamie smirks and grabs Roy’s other hand now, too. He backs into the bedroom, then flops down right next to an already shirtless Keeley, trying to yank Roy on top of him. “C’mon. We haven’t got all night.”

Roy rolls his eyes fondly but wastes no time in giving in.

[kvetchinglyneurotic]

For the send a title thing-

Stand where the light hits hard

When the charity gala rolls around in season 1, Ted decides to turn it into a educational experience and has a rep from the charity come in to talk to the team. The rep comes in the day before and tells them they're going to be talking about the prevention and detection of domestic violence and especially child abuse, so Jamie's sitting there at the back bracing himself to hear something awful, but it's just like. normal shit. things that have happened to him and his mum more times than he can count. And he starts arguing, because why are they wasting time on this when there's actually really bad things happening to kids, and shouldn't they be focused on that instead? Which is not a great look. Especially for Ted, who doesn't think that well of him at the time, and especially especially for Roy, whose sister also survived a terrible relationship that sounds a whole lot like what the presenter is describing.

So Roy's like "I'm actually going to fucking kill you if I find out you've been treating anyone like that" and then goes to check on Keeley, while Ted pulls him aside for a stern lecture. By this point Jamie's panicking a bit and also convinced that he's actually a terrible, dangerous person, so he goes home to Keeley — who knows he isn't like that in a relationship but has friends who have had bad relationships with footballers and would very much like an explanation of what the fuck has been going on — and it spirals into a fight where they end up broken up technically by mutual agreement but very acrimoniously, and with all that going on, Jamie never ends up asking Bex to bid on him.

So he goes to the gala the next day already fighting off a panic attack with a baseball bat to find that the whole team thinks the breakup happened because Keeley learned about what happened yesterday, and Roy, who still thinks Jamie's a danger to society, corners him to be like "it was too late to remove you from the bidding lineup but you have to do exactly what your date tells you and if you hurt them even a bit they will sue you into oblivion and also I will personally murder you." So now he's fighting off the panic attack with a toothpick instead of a baseball bat. But he goes up on stage and because Bex isn't there and he's broken up with Keeley, Cheryl, the ice cube comment lady, wins the bid.

He drags himself home to have his meltdown, and the day after that, they go out on their date. And it's fine. She's a little flirty and he feels like his skin is going to crawl off his body, but it's fine, right up until she puts her hand on his arm and it is very much not fine, and in the panic of trying to get away, he shoves her, and she falls. Which means he's no better than everyone says he is. That he's no better than his dad. That Roy's going to kill him, for real this time, and he'll deserve it. So he shows up to Roy's house to just get it over with, and when Roy opens the door he's standing there inconsolably upset, crying, telling him to just do it. And Roy's like. okay it is possible that I have misjudged this situation, and brings him in to talk. There's tea, there's cuddles, there's Jamie getting told he's not an irredeemably bad person and that the way his dad treated him was bad, actually.

[jamiesfootball]

Do you have any ships in the ted lasso fandom that you enjoy? I just ask because most of your posts seem more interested in the gen side of the fandom. Are you more of a 'read about ships but write about gen' author? No hate, obviously, I'm just curious because that's pretty rare in my fandom experience! ✨

Thank you for asking! Sorry if this is a bit long. Answer to the last question is first and the ship list starts somewhere around the middle and includes some rarepairs that I think more people should give a chance

I’m pretty good and open to most ships on some level. I’m a ‘will try most things once’ sort of reader. However what I’ve learned about myself is that what interests me more is character dynamics and characters struggling with themselves rather than a lot of the popular romantic and/or sexual tension/buildup/catharsis tropes (slow burns, enemies to lovers, etc) I get why people read them, I’ve read them myself and enjoyed them, but I’ve come to accept that it’s just not what I personally want to write about

A few years ago I co-wrote a fic with a friend (the man from uncle fic), and my friend IS good at the slow burn, yearning, pining thing - in fact, hearing her talk about how much she enjoyed it and why was a big factor in my figuring out what I didn’t like about it and why I was struggling to write it. This is good! I think more people should consider branching out beyond the usual fandom offerings, but also that they should think about what’s not satisfying them and how find it- or how to make it themself, which is what I’ve been doing. Exploring the stuff I like to try to find what makes me happiest to write about

Which seems to be mostly jokes and psychological trauma with a side helping of people spending quality time with each other and supporting each other. And it turns out that a lot of the things I enjoy writing and reading (comedy, action scenes, ensemble dialogue) are the things that other people aren’t as comfortable writing, so I get to fill a niche as well!

Now. To go back to your question

I’ve always said I’d be interested in exploring what’s up with TedTrent. I think there’s a lot of intriguing potential in their interpersonal interactions and their overall dynamic as two middle aged divorced men. I’ve also commented before on the interesting parallel with Ted and Michelle and the way that Trent and Dr. Jacob both had very professional responsibilities to each of them, but whereas Trent gave up his career for the sake of doing right by someone he respected, Dr Jacob proceeded to date his client

I’ve also started a borderline crack fic that’s just Ted, going through a mild sexuality crisis, who keeps coming up with more and more euphemistic ways of saying he’s got the hots for Trent because he can’t quite bring himself to say it like a normal person ("He makes me want to ask my grandma for her blueberry casserole recipe" <- guy who has it bad)

Im also of course a big fan of Jamie, so I’ve read and dabbled in writing RKJ, RoyJamie, SamJamie, and DaniJamie, and Sam/Dani/Jamie. My take on Sam/Dani is that it’s a pairing that seems like it should work but i haven’t figured out what that looks like yet. Dani has a very hyper restlessness to him, and Sam a very calm one, so I think they would need to take breaks from each other

I’ve had half a mind for JanJamie as well, but I then I made up my own elaborate headcanon for my future fic so now I prefer them more as future coaching work husbands where Jan is very practical and steady and Jamie is the one with the creativity who inspires people and together they fight about football strategy until it’s time to go to their respective homes and then they do it all over again the next day. Which is the sort of wildly specific headcanon you can’t possibly expect someone else to have

I also made a post a million years ago about Jamie, Keeley, and Rebecca going to pride together and being confused for being an impeccably gorgeous queer threesome, and frankly I’m still here for that, although I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Rebecca/Keeley/Jamie fic in the wild. Honestly though, going back to what I said before: what I really want is the dynamic. I just want them to hang out together. Maybe I should send them on a spa day together — I already gave them a smoke break together, maybe after that they agreed on a spa day

Also BarbaraBeard sounds fun, for two characters who I don’t think ever met on screen. I feel like they would enjoy watching hockey together — and maybe Beard would forget about Jane if he found a woman who seems willing and able to deadlift him over her head

Whoever made that post years ago about how it looked like Colin and Moe were texting each other - you made a compelling point. Add to that the knitted scarf and Colin thinking Moe is the fittest one on the team, and ColinMoe sounds fucking adorable. They’d be so weird and confusing together and they’re both very passionate about very specific causes. I see it. I see the vision

I can’t believe I’ve never seen a word about DaniThierry. Come on. I’ve somehow had this in my pocket since season one and then season three gave us Dani smiling through being an absolute menace to him and Thierry being unbearably cringe but in such an earnest way (his “I like short walks on the beach” Bantr video fucking killed me I died)

And to cap off the list: I do like tedbecca, but it’s specifically the queerplatonic soulmate tedbecca in my head, where they light up the room for each other just by being nearby

[schrijverr]

Collapsing Under the Pressure

Inspired by the fact that Jamie passes out in Mom City. It is something he has always done when he feels too overwhelmed or stressed, a thing his dad always hated, so he never really shared with anyone except mummy. This sometimes comes back to bite him when it happens in front of those that actually care about him, like Keeley or the lads.

On ao3.

Ships: canon Jeeley parts

Warnings: referenced child abuse

~~~

Jamie passes out when he’s too stressed. It’s not a trait he likes about himself and it doesn’t always happen – though his therapist said that has to do with his brain throwing up a defense around his dad so it doesn’t happen around him or when he’s feeling generally unsafe – however it does happen.

When he were a lad, his anxiety hadn’t been too bad and he and mummy hadn’t really noticed it happening at first, cause it was pretty normal for him to pass out when she was gone. They just thought he slept well, but it’s actually because he doesn’t like being alone. Figuring that out had been pretty embarrassing for eight year old Jamie.

And Jamie dislikes his passing out tendency even more when mummy stops working night shifts, so he doesn’t have to be alone, even when he can clearly see that stresses her out. She denies it, but Jamie can stay up at night now, because he’s no longer passing out, so he sees her hunched over those paper things that tell you to pay for adult stuff.

It’s his passing out that indirectly brings his dad back into his life.

Of course, it’s mostly his footie skills and whispers about how he might get scouted that first bring his dad back on them, but it’s the lessened funds due to mummy not being able to work the night shift that gives him a foot in the door once again. Either way, it’s Jamie’s fault.

He feels like it’s even more his fault, because he is so excited for his dad to come back that he doesn’t realize how big of a mistake it is, until it is already too late.

There are a few months where Jamie passes out around his dad a lot. His dad makes sure that doesn’t happen anymore. In fact, Jamie thinks he’s just grown out of the habit until Amsterdam. Passing out on the way there doesn’t do him many favors with his father, but Jamie is too distracted by everything after that the experience barely registers in his brain.

After that, it is still a thing, but not a common thing, which might be because Jamie feels like he is barely there. If you don’t feel anything, it is hard to be anxious or stressed.

It gets worse… or better, considering how you look at it, when he gets to Richmond and suddenly he is four hours away from his father and surrounded by people who are seemingly nice all the time for no good reason. Of course, it’s in part because Jamie is great at footie and he deserves to have his arse kissed, but it’s also dead weird.

Keeley is one of those people, who is nice to him all the time, even if she does get annoyed with him sometimes.

Jamie thinks she’s mad fit and proper mint. He sometimes can’t believe she’s going out with him. When he put her poster on his wall at sixteen, he thought her unattainable, but now she’s ugly snorting on his couch at his killer reality telly commentary.

But because Keeley is just the best, Jamie gets comfortable around her. And since they shag a lot, she is also around a lot. Which means that about four months into dating, he passes out in front of her for the first time.

There is just a lot going on. Not only is he trying to carry this whole shitty team, since that’s what coach Catrick wants, but now coach Catrick is fired and gone and instead some rodeo clown from America has been hired, who doesn’t know jack shit about footie, so Jamie will have to carry more to keep the team from relegation under that incoming incompetent leadership, and now his father is also breaking the silence that has developed between them because of his loan.

So, yeah, Jamie hasn’t been having a great day, trying to ignore the messages from his dad, which are painting a pretty clear picture how he’s feeling about his development, as he tries to pretend he isn’t stressed out during dinner with Keeley.

She’s ordered food from that nice place they both like, both of them taking their cheat day together. A ritual they’ve started that is proper nice, like a fun indulgence. She even popped open a nice bottle of wine, something Jamie doesn’t give a shit about, but she likes.

Jamie desperately tries to relax with her, but his head keeps being twisted and he knows he’s not managing, since he can’t stop his leg from bouncing.

Disaster strikes when he checks his phone on autopilot and sees that his dad is now actively calling him once more. The fifth time in a row. He’ll be fucking pissed if Jamie doesn’t pick up. His heart just drops in his chest and he excuses himself for a moment to pick up with shaky hands.

Keeley’s living room is in the same space as her dining table and kitchen, because she has one of those modern open plan houses, so there isn’t a lot of privacy. However, if he walks far enough, she shouldn’t be able to make out what his dad is ranting about this time.

As Jamie predicted, it’s nothing nice. Not about Rebecca Welton, the new owner, nor her most recent hire. But there is also nothing nice for Jamie either, who is an embarrassment to his name for being stuck at this terrible third rate club and how he’d better keep dominating, winning whatever match on his own, to keep himself from humiliating himself further and fucking over any chance of Man City even considering taking him back.

The more he listens to his father talk, the more erratic his breathing is becoming and the more faint he’s feeling. He can’t feel his legs, nor do his eyes seem to be working. If they had, Keeley might have been more than a blob at the table, probably looking worried, because she is observant and caring like that.

Jamie wants to say something, either to make his dad stop or tell Keeley he’s fine, but all he manages to do is nod dumbly along to what his dad is saying, as if the man can see him.

After what feels like forever, his dad gets distracted by his mates or whatever is going down at the pub he’s drowning himself in this time. Either way, Jamie is grateful for the way dad just cuts himself off by hanging up, because he’d already been arching towards the ground, attempting to aim for the couch.

He comes to seconds later with a concerned Keeley hovering over him, her own phone ready in hand to dial 999 in case he hadn’t woken up.

At the sight of her, Jamie feels so fucking relieved and guilty, but also incredibly embarrassed, because what self respecting bloke just passes out like some sort of pussy, because his dad was being a bit mean to them and their job is less than 100% easy.

“Oh my god, Jamie, are you alright!” Keeley asks worriedly.

“I’m fine,” he bats her hand away, even though he likes how her hand had lain over his forehead. He is about to lie that he just hadn’t eaten, but they had been in the middle of dinner so that is out.

“What happened? Do we need to go to the hospital?” Keeley is panicking, which means that unless Jamie gives her something here, his evening plans of getting lucky are out the window.

Facing the unfortunate reality that he is going to have to humiliate himself, he sits up and looks to the side as to not have to lock eyes with Keeley and mumbles: “’s nothin’, babe, just happens sometimes. It’s fine.”

“It just happens?” Keeley shrieks. “Jamie, you fucking passed out on me!”

“I know,” Jamie replies mulishly. “Like I said, it happens sometimes.”

“You got like low blood pressure or something?” Keeley asks, her frown still in place.

“Nah, just, I dunno,” Jamie answers, because he actually doesn’t know. It’s not as if they could have afforded to go to a doctor when he were a lad, he and mummy figured out the cause themselves and none of the doctors he’d gone to as a professional footballer had ever noticed anything else weird about him that would cause it.

“You don’t know why you pass out?” Keeley says like it is a big deal.

Still wanting to get their evening back on track, Jamie huffs and rolls his eyes: “Well, I don’t not know, just never went to a doctor about it, but all the club ones say I’m brill.”

“Explain,” Keeley demands, her arms crossed and her face telling him that if she is not satisfied with his answer, they will spend the night at an A&E instead of with her sitting on his face, which would be a shame.

Pulling a face like he’s a man destined for the gallows, Jamie answers: “Me and mummy figured it out when I was a sexy little baby, I- Sometimes when I get stressed, I just go out for a mo’. Like those people who don’t like needles or blood and shit. Like I said, ‘s nothing, just mad embarrassing.”

“Ahw, babe,” Keeley coos as if he’s some sad puppy or some shit. Jamie pulls a face at her, but she ignores it to ask: “Is everything alright? What was that call about then?”

“Stupid shit, don’t worry about it,” he deflects. Confessing about his humiliating passing out habit was already bad enough, the last thing he wants is to have to talk about his dad. Yuck.

Keeley raises a brow at him and for a moment, he fears she is going to push it, which would suck because Keeley has those ‘you can tell me anything’-eyes that always work on Jamie. Thankfully, though, she merely nods, still eyeing him suspiciously. “If you’re sure, babe.”

“I’m sure,” Jamie says, perhaps a tad too eagerly.

“But if want to talk, I’m here, yeah,” Keeley offers.

“Yeah, I know. Thanks, babe,” Jamie answers, because it’s dead nice that Keeley cares, even though it’s also weird. He never really had a girlfriend like that before. It’s wicked.

It’s a little embarrassing when Keeley feels the need to help him up and hovers while they go back to the dining table, but she also smiles at him about it, so he forgives her. He would have felt like shit if she hadn’t cared about him passing out, so it’s a win in the end.

After that debacle, Jamie gets the evening back on track and gets his wish of it ending with Keeley sitting on his face. He is content to put the whole thing behind him and Keeley lets him for the most part.

For the first week after, she keeps hovering like he is going to pass out at any moment, even takes to driving him around like she’s scared he’ll faint behind the wheel. However, when weeks pass without him going down again, she eases up a bit.

Jamie doesn’t pass out again while dating Keeley, however, he passes out twice more while at Richmond… or once, if you want to be specific about it.

The first time, is after that incompetent Lasso wanker takes him off the field after he scored. It’s fucking ridiculous and he’s already worked up, feeling faint as he walks off the pitch, which is made even worse by the way he knows his dad is going to rip him a new arsehole about it when he hears about it.

Since it’s just his fucking luck, this is the one match of Richmond that he dad is actually watching and Jamie gets called when he’s in the car. He pulls the fuck over and picks up to just get it over with. He ends up being lucky no rando snaps him passed out in his car and the worst he gets for it is an extra bucket of shit from his dad when he figures out what’s wrong.

He still feels shaky the next day, but he stubbornly refuses to let this be the thing to take him down. He is going to show up for practice, even if he’s fucking pissed at Lasso, because he has a contract and he’s going to do it, but he’s not going to play, show Lasso what his precious team is without him.

It almost backfires, because Lasso yelling at him like that makes him panic slightly and having Dani be right there to replace him, doesn’t help either. However, Jamie manages to keep himself upright about it. He is sadly at a point where that is a victory for him.

The second time, is after he hangs up with Higgins, the other man having just informed him that Jamie’s time with AFC Richmond is over. This technically means that Jamie isn’t a part of Richmond anymore when he passes out, but he decides to count it, since he is still London.

Jamie hits his head on the floor too at that call. Normally, he kind of knows when stressful news is coming his way and he’ll faint, so he can at least move to a soft surface, but that call had taken him completely by surprise.

Showing back up in Manchester after he has gotten the kick from too-fucking-nice-Lasso of all people with a goose egg on his head makes him feel pretty pathetic. Jamie fucking hates feeling pathetic, so he turns the feeling into resentment for Lasso and Richmond as a whole, letting it burn him up inside and fuel him instead.

A part of him thinks he should be passing out a lot in the next part of his life. With the stress of his dad constantly hovering, breathing down his neck, before he blows his life up just to get away from him and all. However, Jamie feels barely connected to himself, moving as through a haze while at Man City, then on Lust Conquers All. Too numb to faint.

Getting back on the team isn’t much better, but Jamie is too wired at first, then too frustrated to get too stressed out. He is fucking trying, innit? Least they can do is let him try, that PS5 idea was totally fucking killer.

It’s not until Keeley steers him onto Dr. Sharon’s couch that it happens again.

Dr. Sharon is mint most of the time, helping him with the lads and all, but she’s also the worst. She makes him talk about the stuff he don’t wanna talk about and even though he usually feels better afterwards, it’s just dead uncomfortable.

Jamie spends a lot of time around Dr. Sharon passed out. It gets to the point where she starts keeping juice boxes around for him, because she is worried about his blood sugar or whatever. It is pretty fucking embarrassing, but also kind of nice of her. Plus, Jamie likes the apple-pear juice she has. He never had that before. Never really had juice boxes before, period.

Outside of his sessions with Dr. Sharon, though, Jamie is pretty proud of the way he doesn’t pass out anymore. Despite feeling safe enough to do that, because he is learning boundaries and prioritizing himself sometimes and removing stressors from his life. He’s fucking killing this whole therapy thing, it’s mint.

Naturally, since his dad is a dick, who always does what a dick would do, he comes in and ruins that perfect streak of his.

When he’s in the room with Jamie, he is way too wired, heart beating a mile a minute, so his blood isn’t able to drop or whatever Dr. Sharon said. Then he’s too worked up from crying.

However, after Roy has bundled him into his car, away from everyone else, the whole situation hits him. He starts wondering how the fuck he is ever going to face any of his teammates ever again after they had to witness that sad display.

He’s pretty sure Roy just thinks he falls asleep on the drive, the exhaustion of it all hitting him and Jamie is more than content to let Roy think that. Roy is already treating him like he’s a fragile little lad, the last thing he needs is Roy discovering this and thinking him even more soft.

Jamie passes out once more that night when his dad calls him, probably to ask why the fuck Jamie isn’t home for him to beat up and to eviscerate him for punching him like that. Jamie doesn’t know if it’s a good or bad thing that he passes out, before he can decide whether picking up or hanging up would be a better course of action.

But, he does know that it’s a good thing that it happens while he’s sitting with Keeley on the couch while Roy is gruffly making tea in the kitchen – he is very obviously trying not to be angry, even though he is totally angry – because Keeley already knows about it, so he doesn’t scare the shit out of anyone.

She does, however, give him those sympathetic sad eyes that makes Jamie’s skin crawl and her and Roy proceed to lobby for him to block his dad, which Jamie will never do, ‘cause like that’s his dad and you don’t do that to your dad. That’s just dead rude. In the end they compromise on Jamie muting him instead.

Muting his dad doesn’t solve much, but it does bring some peace and because of that peace Jamie has space to cobble his life back together.

Under this peace away from his dad contacting him, life gets less stressful for Jamie, which means the passing out goes down to basically zero for a while. Dr. Sharon refers him to another therapist, encouraging him to keep up with his therapy. He does pass out there once, but he’s actually handling the big emotions pretty well now.

He’s very proud of that fact and takes mummy and Simon to a fancy dinner about it during the break, because he is a mummy’s boy at heart and she always knows how to make him feel like her special lad about his accomplishments no matter how small or silly.

In fact, Jamie doesn’t pass out again until well into the new season when the Man City match is suddenly looming over him and the thought of his peace from his dad being broken once more makes his breathing come harder.

Jamie is pretty sure he passes out a little bit against Roy’s shoulder, but only a little bit and it probably wasn’t obvious, since despite being retired, Roy is still fucking buff and he easily takes Jamie’s whole weight during that encounter.

It’s not until Keeley spells it all out for him in his Manchester hotel room, while he’s already going through it, that he does fully pass out, hearing a squeaky “Sorry!” from Keeley as he goes down. At least he was next to the bed.

Keeley is very apologetic about her failed attempt to get him out of his funk and gets him a water, which is dead sweet of her. He likes how she cares about him, likes that he’s come far enough to appreciate it instead of wanting to bat it away, because it’s fucking mint.

Him being so stressed out he’s passing out, makes him realize he needs to go to a place where he feels insulated enough from the stress that he can work through his big feelings and feel better. Fuck, Dr. Sharon would be so proud of him for that thought.

Anyway, Jamie goes to see his mummy.

Having Roy and Keeley in his childhood home is weird as fuck, but also kind of nice. Like they’re a part of Jamie’s life outside of the Dogtrack, integrated into his family and all that. He’s sure Simon is embarrassing him in front of them, but even that is nice, because it’s done lovingly and Jamie is only just getting used to that.

Furthermore, being able to cuddle with mummy is the best medicine there is. Her being with him is the very first thing he can remember stopping the fainting and he can use the sound of her voice and the way her heart beats steadily under his ear as he cuddles up to her.

When they leave, he feels regulated enough that he is ready to face Man City the next day and fucking stomp them into the ground with his greatness on the pitch. Which they do, beautifully so, he might add, with himself right at the center of it.

Jamie feels on top of the fucking world.

The news that Ted is leaving and his fight with Roy rattle him, but neither is enough to bring him down from where he has climbed.

As much as Jamie loves Ted and appreciates all that he has done with them, they never connected the way he thought they might when he came back. Ted has always been a little weird around Jamie, especially after Wembley and it has mostly been Roy coaching him.

On the other hand, the fighting with Roy doesn’t rattle him, because they are so close now. Sure, him and Roy have fought plenty before when Jamie was being a little shit and Roy was still with him on the pitch and that had always send adrenaline rushing through him, and he’s been dodging punches from his dad for god knows how long.

However, that is not what this fight with Roy is like. He knows that even if Roy is actually mad or upset, he won’t genuinely hurt Jamie, months of him carefully making sure Jamie is okay and in peak health speak to that. It feels more like a schoolyard scuffle between friends. Nothing to pass out over.

So, yeah, all in all, Jamie is pretty fucking stable when they go into their first season without Ted as head coach, Roy having taken up the position in his stead. It’s fucking mint, Jamie feels grand. They are going to kick ass in the Premier and Champions League, because they’re an ace team with ace coaches.

It’s not until the press buzz starts to truly pick up around them that starts to change. With Jamie as the star player and central cog in their new total football tactic, there is a lot of eyes on him. If you were to believe the press, Jamie is the one that is going to break or make this season for Richmond and he is feeling the pressure.

He tries to shake it off, telling himself they win and lose as a team. Jamie isn’t solely responsible for how they do, that is prick Jamie thinking and he is over that now …It only partially works.

The whole thing gets to him a day before their first match, which they are predicted to win. And that should be a good thing! However, they are predicted to win only just and only if Jamie is out there on the field performing at peak he had been last season, some of the pundits speculate he won’t be up for it, that it was a fluke.

Jamie doesn’t even know why he’s watching, he should be working out with the rest of the lads, but he’d heard them say his name and that dreadful curious part of him had to listen, despite knowing better.

Some of the others have gathered around him to listen in too. When one of the pundits makes a shitty comment, Colin claps him on the back and says: “He doesn’t know shit, boyo. You’re fucking aces and we’re gonna smash them.”

“Yeah, conductor boy here is gonna do great,” Goodman says, taking Jamie’s shoulders and shaking him good naturedly.

All the others chime in with their own proclamations about how the pundits don’t know anything and Jamie is going to do great. On another day, this would have been highly appreciated and Jamie would be preening like a peacock, but not today.

Today Jamie passes the fuck out.

It’s not planned – it never is – and he realizes a moment too late that he should have maybe mentioned his habit to someone other than just Keeley as he goes down, only hearing multiple panicked yells from the lads around him as he fucking swoons.

When he comes too again, everyone is bent over him. He doesn’t have a headache, which means someone caught him. That’s nice of whoever that was.

Less great is that Dani is crying on Isaac’s shoulder, Moe is trying to fight Jan off so he can perform CPR for some reason, while Colin is bunching up a jacket and attempting to shove it under Jamie’s head, and Sam is worriedly but lightly patting his cheek.

“I’m okay,” he interrupts, before anyone can freak out further and do something stupid, because he trusts exactly none of them.

Unfortunately, his voice gets drowned out by the worried squabbling and instead everyone is interrupted by Roy loudly yelling: “Oi, what the fuck are you pricks doing?”

“Jamie Tartt is dying!” Dani sobs soundly, as multiple other lads start clamoring to tell Roy what just went down.

“What,” he hears Roy growl, before lads start to get pushed to the side.

“I’m fine!” he yells, hoping to be heard, making eye contact with Sam, who still has his hand on Jamie’s face, lightly patting, as if he’s been stuck on autopilot.

“Oh, he’s awake,” Sam exclaims, only just noticing it. Fuck, they’re all idiots, Jamie thinks to himself, though he can’t help but be fond and pretty touched by all the concern for his well being.

The noise level increases at that announcement and Jamie gets jostled even more, because everyone wants to get a look at him. It’s one of his more confusing post-fainting experiences to date and his head is spinning.

By the time his vision swims back into focus, Roy is right across from him, his caterpillar eyebrows in their worried mode and he asks: “What the fuck happened? Did you not fucking eat, you muppet?”

“I’m fine,” Jamie insists once more now that someone is actually listening. “I just pass out sometimes when I get like anxious or overwhelmed and shit. It’s nothing, I’m good now, yeah.”

“You just fucking pass out sometimes?” Roy repeats, sounding as if he thinks Jamie is the stupidest man alive, which granted is how he often feels about Jamie. “And you didn’t think to fucking mention this?”

“Well, it don’t happen often, now does it,” Jamie sulks, because he knows Roy is right, but he’s not just going to admit that now is he.

“And you’re fine now?” Roy checks, still slightly distrustful.

“Yeah, I’m aces.”

“Oh, amigo, I’m so relieved,” Dani cries, throwing his arms around Jamie and pulling him into a tight hug. “I was scared you had died.”

“I’m alive, muchacho, I’m okay,” Jamie assures him, patting his arm and leaning into the hug.

“You need anything?” Roy asks gruffly, his shoulders are more relaxed but he is still observing Jamie closely, like Jamie will go down again.

Jamie tries to look as genuine as he can, cause he never meant to scare the bajeezus out of everyone with this little stunt, especially not Roy. He got that old man heart, don’t he. “Uh, Dr. Sharon always gave me a juice box after, but I dunno if that actually did owt.”

Before Roy can even give the order, Dani is already up, eagerly volunteering himself to go get Jamie a juice box. Jamie wants to protest that he’s fine, but Dani looks so relieved to be doing something that he can’t bring himself to do it. It’s also kind of nice that everyone there wants to look out for him.

“You good to play tomorrow, bruv?” Isaac asks, serious frown on his face as he studies Jamie closely while standing over him, arms crossed.

“Mint, mate. Swear down,” Jamie immediately says. “This is just normal for me, been passing out since I were a sexy little baby.”

“Because you’re anxious and overwhelmed?” Sam asks, his eyes doing that big upset thing he does sometimes when Jamie says something he finds sad.

Sometimes when Sam does that, Jamie realizes that it might be a little bit sad what he just said, but sometimes he thinks Sam is being dramatic. This time, he half gets it. Still, he defends: “It weren’t owt bad, just me being sad mummy had to work night shift, since it were just us. She switched to working days when we figured it out.”

Sam doesn’t look entirely convinced, but Jamie figures that since it’s seemingly unrelated to his dad, he drops it. They always get sketchy around his dad and working through his childhood in therapy is starting to make him understand why, but it’s still weird sometimes. So he doesn’t comment more.

“You’re still going to let the medics check you over, before I’m letting you play tomorrow,” Roy grouches, because he’s a grumpy old twat.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jamie rolls his eyes, not really thinking it’s worth to protest it, because he’s not going to win this argument with Roy and it’s not like the medics won’t clear him. Jamie has passed out closer to a match and been just fine.

“Are we going to ask what made Jamie anxious enough to pass out?” Will pipes up in the lull of conversation that follows, the nosy bastard. He’s been hanging around in the background like he always does. Jamie doesn’t think there is a singular private conversation in the club that Will is not privy to.

That causes everyone to look back over to Jamie like those creepy horror movie dolls, making Jamie squirm from his seated place on the floor.

“Boyo?” Colin prompts, concerned now.

“Uh, ‘s embarrassing and a bit prick-ish,” Jamie admits, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt and feeling more embarrassed about why he passed out, than the fact he passed out in the first place.

At that everyone’s hands come up to give him a middle finger, basically giving him permission to just talk and not worry about how he is going to come across. Jamie likes the signal, likes knowing that they’re not going to be mad when he tries to express what his brain is thinking without having to figure out all the right words.

“Why are we giving the signal to Jamie Tartt?” Dani asks, arriving back with a juice box, not even out of breath, despite probably having run to god knows where to get it.

“Jamie is going to tell him why he got anxious enough to pass out,” Jan tells him.

“Ahhh,” Dani nods, walking over the front and sitting down next to Jamie. He gives him his juice box, then smiles: “I am listening, my friend.”

“Thanks, mate,” Jamie grins, unable to help himself when it’s Dani. He takes a sip of his juice box, which does make him feel better, before he says: “Everyone’s acting like I’m gonna win the match by myself tomorrow and ‘s just fucking with me head, cause like, what if I play like shit? What if I can’t do it? What if I peaked last season, you know?”

“Well that’s fucking stupid,” Roy answers first after a moment.

“Huh?”

“Fuck, I forget that you’re a fucking muppet,” Roy groans, rubbing his face, which doesn’t clarify much. Roy takes a deep breath, then looks at Jamie: “You’ve already gotten better from last season during the off season, because you don’t fucking know what a break means and you’re going to murder those arseholes tomorrow and you’re not going to do that by your-fucking-self, but with the rest of these fucking numbskulls here.”

It takes a moment, before they realize that it’s one of those aggressive for no reason compliment pep talks that Roy gives and they all cheer.

Jamie blushes a little, but grins widely too. Hearing Roy say that makes him feel a lot better about tomorrow, because Roy doesn’t lie to Jamie when he’s playing like shit, so he knows he means it when he gives Jamie a compliment.

Sitting in the middle of the rowdy crowd of lads as they hype the whole team up, while Jamie just sips his juice box and enjoys the boisterous atmosphere around him. He realizes, he wasn’t even that embarrassed about telling the lads he passed out when he got anxious. He can’t believe how far he’s come from the small boy passing out because he was left alone in the small apartment he shared with mummy.

~~

A/N:

I love that Jamie just fucking passes out and Keeley is so fucking casual about it and then it’s just never mentioned ever. Like what?

Btw, the psychology and medical side of all this is completely made up, I googled a bit, but not a lot, so don’t take it too seriously, it is fanfic

[providing-leverage]

hey you! did you see this headline?

I did, and I wasn't happy about it. Luckily I also did some further research. This article was posted today on goal.com and contains basically zero actual information, just a lot of empty words and more photos than necessary.

They credit the quote to 'a showbiz insider' on Twitter named MyTimeToShineHello. Last week, the Direct also ran a 'story' with this quote, though they're more skeptical about the source that, as far as I can tell, has no affiliation with Apple of JSudakis.

So we can all calm down. We don't know anything new about s4 and likely won't for a while, until they start filming and the involved parties are given permission to.

That said, here's what I want to see from s4 of Ted Lasso/the new show centered around the women's team

For it to not be called Ted Lasso. He made his choice to go back home, as controversial as it may be in certain corners of the fandom. Let him stay there. Leave him out of this, or maybe flash between crazy football stuff and Ted at the zoo or something.

Definitely do not let him coach a women's team. I don't think he's got any experience with female athletes and would be so underqualified. This time Rebecca is not trying to sink the club.

Speaking of Rebecca: give her screentime. Give her complex plots that don't hinge on her asshole ex-husband or have her dating one of her much younger employees. Flesh out Danish boat guy, that's fine, or skillfully write him out.

Keeley! I don't care what she's doing, as long as she has so much screen time! (I'm not a roykeeleyjamie shipper at all but I recognize that I'm in the minority here so I'm not going to talk ships right now, partially because I haven't made up my mind)

New characters on the women's team. And at least three of them have to be gay. There are several out female footballers, so I see no reason why we can't have So Much lesbian drama happening: exs playing together for the first time in years, new romances, hidden relationships, fake dating, whatever. Maybe get Colin and Trent in there for community friendships

Speaking of Colin, I want cameos from the entire AFC Richmond men's team. Maybe one of Dani's girlfriends is also a football player (it would fit him well, since football is his life) or maybe they share training facilities? They should for sure do some press events together.

I want to see the pub lads not liking the idea of a women's team but then Mae plays nothing but women's matches for a week straight and they come around to it, eventually becoming the team's biggest supporters.

Oh I also want Isaac to be friends with (maybe fall in love with?) the captain of the women's team, who should for sure be bisexual.

As for who should coach since Ted is not on the table: for sure get a woman in there. I like Beard and Roy and Nate together at AFC Men's but of them, I can only see Nate transferring to work on the women's team

Roy is head coach, after all, and Beard is always part of a set. Nate had his issues with respect and boundaries but he's learned his lesson and we already know from his success at Westham that he's capable of being in that leadership role. But this time he'll have a real support system and not Rupert manipulating him.

Back to Trent: PR and journalism are really closely linked so if my department head can go from a career in sports journalism to a PR professional, then I see no reason why he can't do the same. Maybe as a member of KJPR, which is an agency employed by AFC Richmond, or as an internal PR specialist.

Okay that's all I can think of right now bye

[toxicroyjamie]

Ted and Michelle should get back together but also enter a polyamorous relationship with Keeley/Roy/Jamie and Experience horrors that were previously unknown to man

Actually I think season 4 should entirely consist of the formation of polycules that make zero sense narratively. What do y'all know about Isaac/Richard/Rebecca

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

IN9 asks - 2, 11, 28, 30!

thankss <3

2. What were your first impressions to Steve&Reece?

oh man.. terrible question for someone with a worse memory than a fish pfft but because my initial introduction to them was via a couple tlog clips (so, specifically them as edward & tubbs and papa lazarou (not that i realised that was reece for the longest time pfft)) my initial thoughts were probably: oh these guys are Very Strange aren't they.....

that is still my impression btw but instead of Very Strange (confused, scared) it's now Very Strange (beloved, horny, still a bit scared if i'm honest)

11. Your favourite guest star among all seasons?

maybe sarah hadland? i'm such a massive miranda fan so seeing her in the show was rly exciting lol! also keeley hawes cos she's gorgeous and i love her episode!

28. Your favourite memory/experience with your mutual?

hmm idk maybe when the amazing @wintersoulwitch (idk if u've heard of them???) & their co-conspirator @silverview gave one of my artworks to reece at the stage door completely w/o my knowledge and literally made my entire year (i have to like physically force myself to think of other things other wise this is all i would think about 24/7 lool)

honestly a lot more as well tho this fandom is full of the absolute sweetest people istg <3

30. If you could give the boys an idea for a new episode, let't hear it cunt.

time loop episode... (i have an idea for a fic which i rly want to write but... i have Fear lol)

like i'm not sure if a time loop is even possible in an under 30 mins run time, but i loveeee time loop stories! there's so many different themes you can explore in them, and there's p wide scope for a fun twist at the end too!

also it means they'd get to die repeatedly in various creative ways which i think reece would appreciate lol

[silveragelovechild]

One of my favorite scifi books “The Midwich Cuckoos” (1957) by John Wyndham. I re-experience it every few years by watching the the 1960 B&W movie, or by listen to the audio books, or even radio play.

“The Midwich Cuckoos” is better known by title used in its two movie adaptations - “Village of the Damned”. The story is an alien invasion accomplished by impregnating unsuspecting women. This idea has been used many time since, but I like Wyndham’s version best.

In the story, everyone in the small village of Midwich blacks out. The military investigate but can’t find the cause. And anyone who walks with a certain zone also blacks out.

When the towns people recover, they soon discover all the women of child bearing age are pregnant. Months later (but less than nine) the women gives birth to identical babies with slightly enlarged heads, pale hair, and yellow eyes. The children grow abnormally fast (at 8 years they look like young teens). And more seriously, develop psychic powers to influence the behavior of their mothers and towns people.

The 1960 movie starts off well but the ending rests on the shoulders of a character played by George Sanders, who I don’t think is very good.

There was a 1995 remake directed by John Carpenter and starring Christopher Reeve (in the Sanders role) and Kirstie Alley. The movie is schlocky and Carpenter added some needless jump scares. (Early on a man blacks out standing at a barbecue grill, and he falls onto the grill. Carpenter makes a point of showing his charred face later.)

While Reeve is “ok” in the movie, Alley is terrible - laughable in fact as a stern government operative. (Oh! Mark Hamill plays a kooky orient as well!)

With a subject of childbirth, the book and both movies focus more on the reaction of the male characters. I’ve heard of a 2022 series from Britain Sky Max which uses the title of the book. It stars Keeley Hawes in the Sanders role. It’s suppose to focus more on the womens reactions. But I can’t find it available anywhere.

This week I came across a radio play of Cuckoos. It’s pretty good except the ending is vague, and unless you’ve read the book or seen one of the movies, you might not know what happened.

https://archive.org/details/john-wyndham-the-midwich-cuckoos-1982

[nameless-jamie]

Just out of curiosity, how do you feel about Georgie and Jamie's relationship? It might just be me, but I feel it's a bit odd, so I wanted to get another perspective.

I totally get it. Sorry I’m about to start a whole analysis, because that’s something I’ve thought about a lot:

1. Ok, my first reaction to Mum City and seeing Jamie’s relationship with his mom was too a little odd. But in retrospective it makes sense.

Jamie’s character is a child of trauma and abuse. I’m guessing his dad didn’t make his childhood and his mum’s life particularly easy. It is not unusual for a traumatized person to cling to the person, that was there for them through the traumatic experience, or maybe even shares the trauma. (Not a psychologist, but I’m speaking from experience)

So Jamie and his mum might have a special bond like this because of that.

2. (This is just a theory) I think Jamie’s mum seems very young, maybe she had him at a very young age and he is also her only child (which is a whole other story). Jamie had to leave his home pretty early to play professional football and maybe his visits aren’t as frequently. (Which I’m guessing is true because for example: Keeley was Jamie’s long time girlfriend in season 1 and he never let Keeley meet his mum while beeing his girlfriend. It is odd to me because if your mum AND your girlfriend are the most important people in your life you’d want them to meet)

Basically what I’m saying is, Jamie is definitely a mommas boy, but he doesn’t get to see his mother often. Which is why he clings to her, because he doesn’t know when the next time is, that he’ll see her again. They bond on a different level. A mother and her only child.

Their level of physical contact is debatable (on an oedipus level you could debate it), but maybe viewing their background, it is rather healthy that they are so close (WHEN they finally see each other). And that he has a person he can open up to and be 100% honest to.

Georgie is portraying a stark contrast to Jamie’s father, so she had to give Jamie double the love.

To sum it up I’d say that maybe to an average person with an average family and life constellation it seems like they have an odd (maybe a little too intimate) relationship, but if you look into their characters it explains why they act like that. (One does not have to understand their actions on that deep deep level, but it checks out)

(Keep in mind this is just my opinion)

Ok, sorry for the rant! I think this is a topic that we could talk about for hours and I would love to hear all of everyone’s opinions on this!

And thank you Anon! I love discussing Ted Lasso because it has so many relatable topics. Keep sending me ideas, topics to talk about or even feedback. (Or if you just wanna talk, I’m also there for y’all)

Also everyone, tell me if you like it when I talk about “deeper topics” like this on my blog and analyze the series a little or if I just shut up and write ff. 😂😂😂

[lunar-years]

Imo, Beard was warming up to Jamie but then after Man City/ Beard After Hours he appointed himself unofficial watchdog for Jamie and decides that he needs to know where Tartt Sr is and make sure he is away from Jamie. Because everyone saw the locker room incident, Jamie looking like a terrified little kid, but Beard is only other person who knows how truly dangerous Tartt Sr can be and the reality of what that kid went through. He barely escaped with his life and hes not going to let Tartt and his two cronies anywhere near Jamie again if he can help it. Also if Beard ever found out about Amsterdam they'd find him sharpening axes and booking a train ticket up to Manchester

definitely! obviously Beard's got the most firsthand knowledge of anyone at Richmond (apart from Jamie himself) of what James is capable of based upon the up close personal experience of James nearly murdering him. And also I agree with the assessment other people in the fandom have made that beard shows signs of having his own history of abuse/child abuse. So I think he does understand Jamie on a certain layer no one else can, not even Jamie's closest friends, Roy, Keeley etc...by virtue of similar circumstances.

As an aside, I sort of hope for Jamie's sake he never found out what James and his cronies did to Beard. I think there's a side of Jamie that feels like he can "handle" the abuse his dad dishes out because it's confined to Jamie himself, but if his dad ever hurt one of Jamies friends or coworkers, just by their association to Jamie, it would really break him badly and be much harder for him to heal from. The fact that Beard got hurt specifically because he stepped in to HELP Jamie when he was being abused? Kind of a Worst Fear Confirmation to Jamie. Anyone he lets get close to him winds up worse off for it. The people he cares about and who care about him in turn get Punished for it, and it's Jamie to blame, which is proof he should have never let anyone care about it to begin with it. Just kind of a truly horrific worst case scenario for him, I think.

[swiftiedaisies]

matching my favourite songs to ted lasso characters <3

(these are just who i could think of at the moment)

jamie:

“if i get too close and i’m not how you hoped, forgive my northern attitude. i was raised out in the cold”

this is jamie’s song!! i feel like this is jamie at the beginning of his redemption where he still slips up and makes mistakes. he’s not exactly how people want him to be but he’s trying his best to unlearn how his dad raised him. he’s trying to be a good person. so many noah kahan songs could fit jamie so well. it was between this and homesick

roy:

“lord what will become of me, once i’ve lost my novelty?”

i have so many thoughts about roy and this song! the whole theme of not knowing who you are once you’re not the shiny new thing is SO roy! i feel like this is s1 roy where he’s realising that he’s at the end of his career as a player and that he’s not what he used to be. the bridge is also very fitting to him and jamie. the whole thing of the younger star learning from the older one and all the bittersweet feelings. i could literally write an essay on this song and roy.

keeley:

“i’m on a one way trip to take over the world”

this song is so keeley coded!! i feel like it captures her personality and confidence so so well!! to me, this is mostly season 3 keeley! shes an independent business woman who is taking over the world!! i feel like it also represents how her character has developed over the seasons. she’s introduced as a love interest (you’re just a boy) and becomes a powerful independent career woman (and im kinda the man). even though romance has always been part of her character, it never takes away from her personal story. i love her and this song sm!

sam:

“so make the friendship bracelets, take the moment and taste it”

this song is so sam! when he joined the team, he truly was on his own! he moved to a new country alone when he was only 20 (i believe?). i feel like this song captures how he has such a bright future ahead of him and everything he has already achieved! i also love the friendship bracelet line in relation to sam! a big part of sam’s character is his kindness and i feel like this line represents that and how he is the heart of the team! sam obisanya, i love you sm!!

rebecca:

“i’m so sick of running as fast as i can, wonder if i’d get there quicker if i was a man”

this song IS rebecca’s experiences! she has faced so much misogyny from the people around her (rupert, the media, other club owners) but she has risen above it and shown that she is the confident boss ass bitch we all know!! she is underestimated by the men at the akufo league meeting but SHE is the one who changes their minds! i think this could also be applied to how we see the media treat her in season 1 and how she is written about compared to rupert. i think this song describes the struggles rebecca faces as a female business owner as well as how she is treated by the media (especially in s1)

colin:

“always an angel, never a god”

colin would cry if he heard this song. he is so under appreciated by the team and we see that he struggled a lot with his confidence and being compared to the other players. i think this really relates to the scene in s2 where nate insults him and tells him that he’ll never be as good as the other players. the whole theme of this song is comparing yourself to others and feeling like you’re good, but never good enough. i feel like that’s a big part of colin’s story and how he is working through those feelings and gaining more confidence in his ability. i really hope we see more of him in s4!

if you made it to the end of this ramble, thank you so much for reading!! ive combined my two favourite things, music and ted lasso <3