#and another char I cant talk about yet...

[avirael]

Welcome to the new boy! 🌙

Nhagi‘ra Molkoh, born and raised in the Black Shroud, talented hunter turned adventurer to start a new life somewhere other than Gridania.

[lawoftheclaw]

Zeta spoiler idk if yall are on episode 30 yet or not nico/maisie

Anywho i havent cried in a really long time but i got close when mouar died and even thinking about it right now it's just. uggggghhhhhh

Also whats going on with char and kamille in that scene where they're both just utterly unaware that theyre tangled up in another of jerids failures is delicious

And the conversation between mouar and jerid beforehand where he just talks about wanting to kill kamille... Why cant he learn from his mistakes .... I know that's like the point but it feels so extremely bad

[cowedeakamatsu]

aaand another update from the Cowede and @plaindangan Adventure through 100 LINE! Right after the rebelion route, we decided to tackle the short, but emotionally intense goodbye eito route! (composed of only one ending, which is a beautiful one). thoughts with slight spoilers under the "click for more" as usual, but man, what an effective route, for a very good character i've yet too talk about to much journey [Route 0 -> Coming of Age -> takumi cult -> second scenario -> v'ehxness -> retsnom -> reset -> slasher -> romance -> rebelion -> goodbye eito]

I've yet to talk about eito, but what a fucking character. Well, characters, because every route give us a bit of their own eito, sometime multiple eitos in one route, like the "Love and peaceee" eito who then turns "Aizen eito 2, the comeback!" in coming of age. the white knight eito from the retsnom route, but most importantly the "moving on from hatred" eito that we can see in the routes rebelion, second scenario, and ESPECIALLY this route, as the whole principle of this short route is that its from Eito's point of view. Its ultra introspective, and it hits in the feels. Its hard to say "he is the best rival antag of kodaka" because, to be honest its a hard competition, but where as nagito and kokichi most interesting feature is their "lacks of clear 100% understanding on how they think and work" leading to a huge "I understand them" feeling when youre a fan of them, eito goes another way, being a character's whos journey seem at first like a typical "good guy turn mega evil traitor after reveal" and that would be the gist of it, but no, because eito is the character (with takumi) who takes the most advantage of the game"s format to evolve and change. Of course not all eito are nice or go through a redemption route, leaving you to always wonder "but what will really happen" but all of them at least play around the fact that takumi created a change in them, he spared him (unless its a kill eito route but kill eito routes are all about him dying litteraly at the start, so of course he wont develop here) , which goes against what eito eyes percieves and what he thinks of humanity, of course those feelings turn mostly to love, or just fascination (like the coming of age route is more of the later, but most are the former) and the rare times were eito gets the chance to not be hindered by his "glitch" / eyes, he turns into someone who will do everything to protect those he loves, like in the retsnom route, where he doesnt hesitate to cause trouble and kill himself to save the woman that gave him a reason to live, by being someone beautifull. I wont dwell in it too much, but MAN its also quite refreshing to have the game ACTUALLY assume the fact that yes, it IS love he feels for takumi (in some routes), nagito as this whole issue where he is more in love with hope, or the image he sees of hajime than hajime himself, (yes even in that one japanese fte where he says love in japanese, the problem isnt that he love or not hajime, but why he does) and then kokichi has a different but similar issue of 1) he is kokichi, layers upon layers of lie, we cant EVER be sure of what he thinks, yes even if youre a super kokichi fan. 2) he seem to be more interested by shuichi as an inteligent rival and a "detective" than (to compare) kaede who's ship tease moments are more about shuichi as a person. here this game (probably uchikoshi's impulse ?) actually assumes love as love when its love, and also we have several lgbtq+ rep which is always beloved. But back on eito, having this route be from his point of view makes everything 10 times better, because unlike nagito or kokichi, we are sure to understand him here, this eito at least, and man, what a good char, you can feel his deep desire to be happy, to cherish friends, and his guilt of who he is devouring him, and that last scene was absolutely beautiful. Since my "personal true ending" is 06, and considering how he is similar from a development way, I headcanon that he becomes takumi's most loyal companion, and that he ends up, briefly after the long 15 years strugle to clench the war, meeting the group of kids and that little girl who ends up joining them and treating him like a big bro, because lets be real, it would be heck of beautiful. I connect more with other characters so far, but he, or at least, this "redempted eitos" versions of him, may be amongst the best kodaka characters.

[arcusf4rley]

Like its crazy that my brain made an introject of a cartoon character from an obscure show to help me get through the grooming, stalking and sexual abuse of someone who is quite literally older than my own father

But You cant say that shit in fandom spaces nor would I want to. when i upload sad art its because my alter himself is venting. its not fanart

The cartoon hes introjected from is kind of messed up.. as in, that char goes thru sexual abuse in many episodes too (im not exaggerating). Bc the writers of that kids cartoon are legit not Okay.

Its sad because this part of me hides himself so.much. yet hes like THE MAIN FRONTER FOR 2 YRS NOW. HE RUNS MY LIFE YET MUST STAY SILENT </3 he wishes he could talk to someone about his true thoughts and feelings. He hates being an introject sometimes. he has split a lot but hes still wayne at the end of the day

almost had that sense of "my system.. we can be ourselves around you" w another system online but guess what? That guy turned out to be a predator and abuser too. hes a system and he targets other systems to sexually abuse..

Its sad

I hate being a system and i hate how even making fanart isnt really fanart.. its personal art...

Something from early 2023...

[mochasandwich-blog]

i wrote this on may 2021, im 22 now i do not think i feel the same way as my twenty year old self.

I make sure not to give anyone the same endearment because my best friend told me it was weird to call someone that reminds you of another. i do not care about pet names anymore, people exist just the way as they are in my life. the space they take up does not need to be labeled, what i call them does not matter anymore.

When I chop onions, I cut the roots last because my ex told me when you hurt the onions the onions hurt you back. Thus, the reason you tearing up. fucking NOT do it anymore. i do not want to be influenced by a person i killed so many times in my head; i cleansed myself of his existence to the breaking point i do not remember the pain he inflicted on me and the reason why this rage still lives within. i pretend he does not exist, my 16 to 19 self was my defining moment at the same time it never existed (a facade i put on everyday to keep me sane).

When I see someone with scars on their wrist, I make it a habit to never ask why. When I was in 12th grade I remember my best friend sobbing on my shoulder with a cast on her left wrist, asking me repeatedly "baket" and both of us did not know the answer. my being is wounded and scarred, renewed birthed to hardened. coldness does not mean it is tough, it is a precaution to not let anyone slide in carelessly ever again. Still, my heart would forever remain tender for this girl.

I always pinch someone's pinky when I'm comfortable with them. My mom always do this to mine when I was younger, it has stuck to me ever since. NOPE CREEP, I STOPPED DOING THAT HONESTLY WHATTA WEIRDO

Whenever I eat jjampong, I always remember the guy that I owed a jjampong cup noodles to. I was 12 and we spilled it while laughing in the tricycle's passenger seat, swearing I'll make it up to him next time. I'm 20 now, both of us still remembers that I never did. BITCH AHAHAHAH dudes a fuck up now, honestly never changed, his parents even hated him or so i heard. hate is such a strong word, but its like how your parents could loathe you at a certain degree and you still would be their son anyways typa way.

I already knew artic monkeys in 11th grade because another friend of mine introduced it to me, but was never keen on their music. I started listening intently because the boy I liked was a passionate fan. We dont talk anymore (char we still do pero we'll presume him dead) but I still listen to the band. I make it a notion that I liked them because I just do, and it was not for him. OHMYGOD THIS DUDE I COULD NOT EVER SHUT UP ABOUT THIS DUDE fuck i am twenty-two now??? AND hjdfcjsbhfesh god, pathetic. i still love his song recos, ngl. how do you want it slaps so hard i cant even. unfriended me on facebook, does not reply on insta anymore, yet stalks me religiously on tiktok. dude, please. AND WE'RE MEETING ON NOVEMBER fml.

I remember my bestfriend telling me she does not write her poems on paper because she felt disgusted by her thoughts that would forever be etched onto something. I realized that I also do. I now hide my little scribbles of typed poems and prose in posts, pictures and my phones notes; never written it on paper ever again. true!! i still do. though she is not my best friend anymore. funny how i used to call her that, maybe we really once were inseparably close. maybe part of her life i shared and we'd rely on each other so heavily upon. we grow older now, funny how now we’re so alike than ever.

[daydreamycrustacean]

you cant just threaten me with narrative parallels to big boss and not deliver. i need this

AHEHEHEE....( •̀ ω •́ )✧ Ive spent all noon going insane over char and ive listened 3 times to beyond the time, so you chose the perfect time for this.... Okay. so basically,

meme comic aside, here's a more structured and elaborated version of these points, taken from something that I wrote in my notes app at 2 am, plus some other points. Sorry if this doesn't make sense. Im not good at putting my thoughts into words.

----------------------

-they are both soldiers who end up being idolized and turned into a symbol. this idolization makes people want them to be in a position of leadership.

-being better known for their nom de guerre, "the red comet/char aznable" (which also counts as this, since it's a fake name tied to his identity in the one-year war) and "big boss", adds to this idealization, and with it also comes depersonalization, as their identity becomes just an image of a war hero that exists in peoples heads. a legend, rather than a real person.

-the artificiality of this legend is brought home in the way that it is taken, replicated, and put into other people, showing that anyone can be "the red comet" or "big boss". that's right baby. clones! Be it The Patriots making supersoldier clones of big boss for war purposes or Sunrise making Char after Char for anime purposes. But Char does also have actual in-universe clones???

-And also phantoms... the much clearer example of the artificiality of these legends/identities. I don't know anything abt Gundam Unicorn and so the only things I know abt Full Frontal are from the wiki. but he's just Venom Snake. Hey, what if we took this random guy and altered his appearance and mind to be the red comet/big boss?

-Okay its time to talk about The Boss and Zeon Deikun. Their deaths turn them both into symbols that represent the ideals that they preached. Ideals that everyone else takes and misinterprets for their own purposes. Their deaths also kickstart Big Boss and Char´s...everything. In a way, both Big Boss and Char dedicate their lives fighting for the ideals that their mother/father represented. Are they any good at this? Or are they yet another person taking these ideals and twisting them beyond recognition? Let´s say that´s up for debate.

-"So both Char and Big Boss ended up being idolized just like The Boss and Zeon Deikun? Even though it's something that they did not want and tried to avoid?" YES! Unavoidable fate. Repeating mistakes of the past...Sins of the Father... one of the key themes of Metal Gear. THE theme of metal gear. Big Boss more consciously tried to avoid the fate of The Boss by leaving the US military and hated being seen as a hero/called Big Boss because of The Boss. Char never outright states that the reason he does not want leadership is because he does not want to suffer his father´s fate...but his choice of accepting leadership is tied into his father´s fate nonetheless, with "Maybe human sacrifices run in your family" and Char casting himself as that human sacrifice in Char´s Counterattack. Is the reason as to why thinking about Char makes me so insane because his narrative of not being able to escape his father´s shadow taps into one of Metal Gears main themes? who knows...

-I said that Char´s "The Boss" figure is Zeon Deikun...but I think Lalah is the emotional aspect of this. She is the more clear Mother Figure whose death scars and haunts Char the way The Boss haunts Big Boss. Yes, Char also lost his real mom when young but shes not as important as Lalah.

-They just miss their mom bro :(

-cue millions of jokes about Oedipus complexes (more prevalent in the gundam fandom. for some reason.)...not gonna comment on this but they are there. and I can't ignore it if I'm talking abt comparisons between them.

-Okay, mothers/fathers talk aside. Their relationship to war and conflict. Not much else to say that I didn't say in the image. Its all they know and and all they think themselves capable of. Though thinking about their similarities on this did remind me of something that Beltorchika said in Zeta about Char, about how she thinks he's someone who is incapable of living without war and how definitely similar things are directly said about big boss in metal gear. there's more to this and about whether this is true and why...but my eyes are starting to hurt. I need to finish this.

-Lets go back to leadership. despite the fact that they both do not initially want this position of power, they do eventually give into it to help soldiers/Spacenoids respectively. Big Boss wants soldiers to not be used by governments like he was used (but he does end up using them nonetheless. oops) and Char wants Spacenoid independence from the Federation, although Char´s motivations in cca are more complex than just this, I do believe part of him does genuinely see helping spacenoids as his "duty" and something he needs to sacrifice himself for.Okay that was my last big point. finally this is done. more stuff:

-the_man_who_sold_the_world.mp3

-I don't know. all war criminals know these days is be bisexual and lie. <- all there is to say abt their heavy homoerotic subtext. which yes they also both individually have. although big boss´ is stronger bc he's in metal gear. I also can't ignore it. It's still a character aspect.

-forgot abt Quess...use of child soldiers ig. awesome.

[tylindel]

2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?

11. Are you partial to a certain character/pairing or are you more equal-opportunity? If you are partial to any character/pairing, why do you think that is?

14. Are there any tropes you would only read if written by a trusted friend or writer?

16. What’s an AU you would love to read (or have read and loved)?

26. Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that was only dialogue?

31. What’s your ideal fic length to write?

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

45. What’s something you’ve improved on since you started writing fic?

2. Top 4 additional tags:

1) fluff

Oh absolutely I love to give hurting characters love which os probably why my second top is…

2) angst

Even if I go in planning only fluff angst in the form of panic attack or grief sneaks in. It allows for the comfort and care from loved ones. I cant commit to just angst though, there is enough sad things in the world lol.

3) song fic

This absolutely, i get most ideas while listening to a song or while thinking of a song. And their are so many good songs out there that can apply (read: Every song is thought out in fic form at some point or another in my brain lol)

4) not beta read

This less so lately. I know how horrible my grammer can be and how easy it is for me to overlook errors if i read and stare at the fic long enough. I am very thankful to have some wonderful writer friends to help me out here

—————

11. Partial to char pairing: yes I absolutely do. I lean towards Daminette with Jasonette a close second when I’m writing. Reading wise I’m equal opportunity.

As for why, well I think it stems from my love of seeing the bad boy/angry boy softening for sunshine/sweet girl. I love bringing a character with trauma or insecurities together with a partner who will see that and do their best to support and soothe them. All while making sure they feel seen and loved beyond imagine.

————————

14. Tropes only read if friend writes:

Hmm probably gender swaps. Nothing really against it It just does not typically bring me joy *shrug*

Only otherthing i avoid reading unless its by a friend or im in a special mood is true Main Character Death, meaning they dont come back through magic or something.

—————————

16. An AU id love to or have read:

Royalty is always fun, as is fairy tale in that same thread. Vampire is always a reoccurring au/theme I come back to as well. Though i have yet to write a fanfic au with it.

——————-—

26. Only dialog or no dialog?

This ones tough I think no dialog would be easier as you can get what they talk about through descriptions of actions. Although you could set a scene with just dialog….hmm yeah, no dialog for me I struggle with convos in my fics generally.

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31. Ideal fic length:

When I am writing if I do not get to at least 2k words I feel the need to go back and add more. Whether that is more involved descriptions or a new scene depends on if there are any gaps to take advantage of.

————————

41. Link of fic that made me think, “wow I want to write like that!”

I love Izzy’s use of multiple perspectives without much if any overlap in each part. The action is described beautifully and I love the convos and relationships with each batkid.

———————

45. Something ive improved on since I started writing.

Hmm I think I’ve improved on my ability to create plot and cut down on my run on sentences

[geekyglamour413]

I don’t write meta often so this turned out longer than expected(4 paragraphs) because head so full of thoughts, but here are my thoughts(no neg, just thoughts) about the latest lore talk.

I feel I should also preface this with I’m a theatre major, so my character/story analysis is done using the way I was taught which means I have a bias towards taking what a writer has given and working within their parameters instead of trying to change the way they write their story(which I know makes me different in this fandom so I wanted to my pov out in case it helps you understand where I’m coming from better)

First off, my favorite thing in the dsmp is that there is literally no clear good or bad guys(with a few exempt cases in which cc’s have made it clear) BECAUSE the story is based on which POV you’re watching. We get to see how everyone is their own protagonist and how they justify every action they take and each of their personal pain. We can then turn around and see the full extent of each characters’ actions within other character’s pov’s and how it effects them. You don’t get this in regular media and it’s my personal pull to the mcyt rp format and it also effects how I interpret the story and each character.

The biggest complaint I see is that “it’s so unfair how [insert char(no it’s just techno we know it’s techno)] never learns from his actions or deals with consequences!!” in my mind that’s what makes the writing interesting. It is a massive subvert of underdog trope expectations.(very personal opinion). Also in a way, he does have repercussions(the butcher army, being one) for his actions, they just don’t play out in a “normal” plot way because it’s rp with multiple protags(and also again subverting the underdog). “but he never faces any justice!” I won’t debate that because morality and justice is a subjective thing(and I wasn’t in the fandom yet when the festival and stuff was happening live) but where I stand now, is that at our current point in the lore there CANT BE justice anymore. The plot has reached Once Upon A Time levels of revenge plots one after another. There is no justice, only revenge at this point (literally didn’t you here c!quackity and c!charlie have that talk?? riveting. I adore both of them so much)

But this is why I’m so excited for fireworks duo!!! I think cc!quackity’s lore stream and said talk with c!charlie has set up a good precedent for actual forgiveness arcs. I know this is a very controversial take but I really enjoy “undeserved” forgiveness in media. Not like a character getting off scott free right after doing something, but a journey happening which neither party ends up happy because of their inability to forgive or compromise and they’ve come to an impasse and the literal only way to move forward is to forgive each other and keep going. Learning to let go of old pain, recovering and moving forward(to fresh new pain!! /j/j/j/j/j) And it’s a hard trope to write well! But I’m hoping that the (hopefully) upcoming fireworks duo stream will be the start, they might lightly talk, they might see each other in a new light, maybe even admit things they’ve done wrong(who am i kidding im a c!tubbo apologist my boy has literally never done anything wrong ever) and we can move on from revenge plots! Because another personal opinion, there have been too many! And I am bored of them. Give us allies to enemies to begrudging allies to friends fireworks duo I believe

Lastly, I understand being invested in a story and caring about characters, but don’t forget fandom is supposed to be fun! If it’s making you this upset maybe take breather. Go get a snack. Open a window and remember the entire internet is fake and you’re okay :D

(pls don’t be mean in replies i mean all of this /lh I just had thoughts)

[mightymorphingayagenda]

cant wait for lethal combination chapter 5! and loved the holiday nessian fic you wrote!

then you shan’t have to wait! and thank you so much, nonnie. the fic they’re talking about and all previous chapters of lethal combo can be found here,  x

“Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.” 

Nesta kept her gaze on the wall of oak opposite her.  

“Is this the part where I tell you to get on your knees for me?” She asked.  

Humourless. 

And she could practically feel the feral rage radiating from him. Bleeding through the grate to her left like he were trying to smoke her out.  

“This is the part where you-“ 

“Shhh.” 

A lean shadow, a head of auburn hair, muted in the darkness like the decayed verdure of autumn, barely distinguishable through the latticed window no bigger than her hand.  

She’d made Eris wait almost a day.  

In Nesta’s experience teenage girls understood psychological warfare better than any CIA types she’d met. And rule one in the handbook was never call him back right away.  

Eris might as well have been a cute boy from home room, the advice stood fast.  

She’d also chosen the time and place for their meeting, giving no concessions in authority. Picking the church as unlike her he’d inherited both the egregious wealth of his family and their faith. Irish Catholic. Meaning he’d find himself here every Sunday evening regardless, and providing not only the guise of normality, but the cosy anonymity of a confessional.  

The only people who did secrecy better than assassins, were the Catholics.  

It was perfect really, the perfect plan. Undistracted Nesta had been able to work it out pretty quickly after Cassian had left. Leaving her all those hours between four in the morning and her meeting the following evening with nothing to do but hate him.  

Avoiding returning to the bed he’d screwed her in. Glaring at his jacket which still hung beside her front door over a bottle of vodka.  

It was a blow to her pride to be sure. The closest thing to rejection she’d ever received from a man. Whatsmore, some gooey part of her she’d pushed down had been upset.  

Too worked up to sleep she’d spent hours tucked into her armchair and entertaining plucking his teeth from his mouth like the petals of a rose. He loves me, he loves me not. Because worse than revealing himself to be a complete ass as most men did, Cassian had done so subsequent to fucking her better than she could have dreamed. And she’d had that dream. Multiple times.  

Wet dreams that couldn’t hold a candle to the way he’d had her dripping down to her knees, begging for his cock, trembling on legs he’d thrown over his shoulder to lick out her cunt like it was the reason he got out of bed in the morning. The man had spoilt her rotten.  

Nesta knew she probably shouldn’t have been thinking about sex in a church. Her mother was likely burning with a fury hotter than the flames that surrounded her down below, but she couldn’t help it. Because while she hated the sinner- ever bronze buffed, tattooed inch of him - god did she love the sin.  

“The adult is going to talk,” she said quietly. “If you want to throw a tantrum you can do it on your own time because as of this moment, I’m officially off the clock.”  

Eris’ silence said he knew better than to interrupt her. Perhaps he was smarter than she was about to give him credit for.  

“In fact I stopped working for you as of the moment you chose to question my methods and profess concerns that I may have jeopardised our venture because I lack the professionalism to keep my legs shut,” she said.  

“So if you want Helion Day neutralised, you’re going to have to find someone else to do the job. Though I seriously doubt you’ll be able to.” 

Cue phase two of the plan.  

Because she may have hated Cassian, but she wanted the monopoly on causing him emotional anguish.  

Like hell some other pro was going to put a bullet between Helion’s eyes and devastate his bodyguard. Making that man cry was Nesta’s prerogative. 

“I have made it clear to anyone in my field you might attempt to solicit that you are a impertinent, trust fund brat, who insists on micromanaging the work of other’s despite your incompetence in an attempt to feel important beyond the breeding mummy lied and told you made you special.” 

“I wasn’t aware you also specialised in character assassination.” 

Eris’ voice was charred with a sweetness like wealth; earthy and rich it reminded Nesta of muscovado sugar.  

He was right. She was being unprofessional. But she was tired and hungover and out of a gorgeous lay so fuck him.  

“My specialities are no longer any of your business, Mr Vanserra,” she replied. “My displeasure however, should be of great concern to you.”  

“Is that a threat?” 

“I wouldn’t do you the courtesy of warning you if I intended to kill you.” 

Eris said nothing.  

“You can consider it incentive if it helps you sleep at night though,” Nesta continued.  “To do as you’re told.” 

She gave him strict instructions.  Wait five minutes then leave. Never contact me.  Forget we were ever in correspondence in the first place.   

“Murder is cheap, Mr Vanserra. You don’t want to learn the cost of disobeying me. It’s not the kind of thing daddy’s wallet can cover.” 

She emerged from the confessional, slim shades obscuring her eyes and the deep bruises beneath. Her heels clipping against the stone floor as she made her way toward the station of votive candles at the back of the church.  

Each glowing stick a prayer for a lost loved one. Matches and and a few unlit offerings still available.  

She lit herself a cigarette on a flame.  

And Nesta couldn’t have missed the fresco above those colossal doors of oak and rustic gold flake even through the plumes of smoke that curled upwards as she stalked lazily down the isle:  a depiction of the Heavenly Father himself.  

She didn’t bother flicking a glance behind her to the confessional.  

Who’s your daddy, now?  

- 

She’d collapsed face down into already rumpled sheets.  

They’d smelled like sex and heaven and she’d smelt like cigarettes and a church and that was all she knew before the exhaustion caught up with her, the world went black, and she was waking up in exactly the same position . Vex’s fluffy tail swishing against her ear. The tickling sensation plucking her from the bliss of pure nothingness.  

Nesta groaned a little as she rolled over and pulled herself to sit up. Pleased to find she’d had the energy to take off her clothes. Unlike her makeup.  

“Damn it,”  she hissed as she saw the smudged mascara on the pillow.  

Not that the sheets didn’t need washing anyway… 

“Ugh,” she huffed, dropping flat onto her back again.  

She’d been awake less then seven seconds and a man had already ruined her day. Just thinking about him…  

“Ugh,” she said again, louder.  Like she was angry with the ceiling for not acknowledging her the first time. 

Vex meowed, his little head nudging at her bare arm. As though he were trying to coax her bra strap back up to a respectable position on her shoulder.  

“Hi, baby,” she grumbled, picking him up for a cuddle. “You hungry?” 

He meowed again.  

Padding down to the kitchen she’d made them both breakfast (technically lunch, she’d slept in till almost one) and carrying her plate of fruit back upstairs to draw a bubble bath he winded between her ankles, catching her attention as he hissed at something in the living room.  

“What?” she inquired, looking down at him before tilting her head to follow his own.  

Cassian’s jacket.  

Uhg.  

Now she was thinking about him again.  

Childish, dumb, insecure little prick. How he’d had the fucking nerve to call her a coward was truly a mystery.  

He was so crippled by that fear of not being good enough he’d immediately presumed she wanted rid of him. Lashing out defensively- God he was infuriating.  

She looked back to Vex who was now staring up at her. “If that thing somehow ends up on the floor,” she said, “you have permission to piss on it”. 

He purred.  

Vex truly was the only boy worth his salt. Something he proved yet again in hopping atop her bathroom counter and guarding her like a fluffy little gargoyle as she sank into the bath.  Opening m the window to let out the smoke of her cigarette so as not to bother him.  The sound of rain slipping something comforting through the January chill, twirls of smoke and steam visible in fatigued plumes.  

Another lethal habit she’d picked up from Aunt Ripleigh.  

The thought gave her an unpleasant feeling in her heart. Like a worm writhing in the rotted meat of an apple.  

Ripleigh wasn’t actually her aunt. But Nesta avoided her much like she did the rest of her family and that was what really counted. Besides, spilling blood together arguably made for a closer bond than just sharing it.  

Like Nesta said, not really her aunt.  

Aunt Ripleigh – initials AR, an homage to the assassin’s preferred weapon the AR-47, American hybrid of the Russian Автома́т Кала́шников, A.K.A the AK-47.  

Some mothers left their little girls pearls, or scrapbooks packed with baby pictures and the lingering scent of their perfume. Angelina Archeron had left her’s a Mafia assassin’s cell number.  

Of course Nesta hadn’t known that.  

Not until she’d found herself with her hands caked in something dark and sticky, her boyfriend’s skin stuffed beneath the lip of her nails and a taste in her mouth like hot rust.  

She’d been seventeen the first time she’d killed a man.  

Not a man. A boy.  

A few months her senior, Thomas been a child just like her.  

Her first crush. Her first boyfriend, her first love, and her first.  

Nesta had known Thomas was using her for sex.  Just as she’d been using him for his money, and wasn’t that what love was? Finding the gratification of your needs in someone else? In Thomas’s case he’d needed to get his dick wet.  In Nesta’s…it was more than embarrassing but half the time all she’d needed was a hot meal.  

She couldn’t count the number of times she’d called him in the dead of the night to hook up in his Porsche so she could sleep there instead of at home, where the windows screamed freezing air from their shattered mouths and the electricity bill was rarely paid.  

But one night Nesta hadn’t felt like earning his kindness. And so he hadn’t offered it. 

Instead he’d held her wrists, ripped at her shirt, forced his hands into her jeans. Pushed up against the bonnet of that Porsche by a lake in woods she’d torn through his face, her nails splitting through the waterline beneath his eyes as she’d kicked and screamed, blood pouring, his hand on her neck, throwing her head against the wing mirror. Heat spilling heavy down her jaw and neck from somewhere which had smelt like lose change.  

She remembers blood in her eyes and the taste of soft, smooth skin and a kind of rubbery strength between her teeth as she’d bit down hard until something had popped or burst or split with a squirt or a tear. She remembers spitting out whatever of Thomas’s ear she’d torn off between her teeth and something swinging into her lower ribs so hard one broke. She remembers the sounds that had been both of them and then at some point just her. 

Her screaming.  

Her sticky, disgusting face, stinging with every horribly wet sob and shriek. The shrieks that hadn’t choked to shaky breaths until she’d pulled herself to sit back against the wheel of the car. Clutching at her ribs which had only hurt so much worse when she’d thrown up right next to her boyfriend’s body.  What looked like a pint of blood glowing in the dust. His face…his head.  

It’d looked like a Halloween prop. Like dark jam. Like a brutalised seventeen year old dead in the dirt.  

And sometime after noticing one of his teeth in the dust, Nesta had realised how fucked she was.  

It wasn’t much of an achievement when you considered Grafton, Vermont had a population short of seven-hundred: but the Mandrays had been quite possibly the most well connected and well off people in its less than seven-hundred square miles.  And despite keeping Nesta’s name out of their sneering mouths through referring to her almost exclusively as “that white-trash bitch”, that population short of seven hundred didn’t give a shit about her.  

Didn’t give a shit she’d been top of her class with a place at Georgetown. Because Nesta could never have afforded to accept it.   

And it certainly didn’t matter she was a pageant queen when everyone knew the petty cash prizes were the only thing that paid the rent on their shitty one bedroom. Especially with things barely breaking even.  In spite of Feyre’s making use of their father’s rifle and sourcing for the butcher any chance she could.  

A too skinny child in the woods with a gun and blood in her braids.  

Nesta’s efforts to keep food on the table had always seemed to pale in comparison to that. But she’d never felt bad about it. Wouldn’t bother hating herself when everybody else was already doing that for her.  

Nesta Archeron was the cheap fuck that nice Mandray boy was messing around with. The gold digger with the dead commie mom and daddy issues. 

No one would have ever believed he’d tried to rape her.  

And she’d had no money for a decent lawyer- she hadn’t even had anyone to call. Not her dad, not a fourteen-year old Feyre nor Elain, sixteen and the last person she’d ever want wrapped up in something like this.  

Nesta had been desperate and vulnerable and jaded for as long as she could remember but she’d never felt as terrified and broken as she had in that moment. Crying alone and hugging herself tightly, she’d just wanted her mom. As cold and neglectful and dead as the woman was.  

“три три два пять семь девять пять шесть три восемь” 

 Her mother’s last words.  

 Ten numbers.  

 Nesta had somehow gotten to her feet, only realising Thomas had broken a few of her fingers when she’d tried opening the car door.  All but collapsing inside once she’d managed as she’d fumbled for her phone.  

 “три три два пять семь девять пять шесть три восемь” she’d repeated to herself, voice hoarse and wet and cracking as she’d dialled.  

 Ten numbers. Ten numbers. Ten numbers.  

 Like a phone number.  

 No doubt concussed Nesta had deemed it logical enough.  Her mother’s dying breath a kind of atonement for leaving her children with nothing in the whole word but a father that could watch his girls starve and go into the woods with his hunting rifle and whore themselves out like they meant nothing.  

 A life-line in the deep waters opaque with clouds of blood.  

 “Здравствуйте.” 

Those three syllables had been like a punch to the gut.  

Nesta had made a noise that might have sounded like “mom?” or the creaking of a damn as it ached under duress. She’d obviously known it wasn’t her mother, but she hadn’t heard a woman speak Russia since- hadn’t heard Russian at all in years.  

“Who is this?”  

Trying to pull herself together Nesta had taken a breath that had rattled, dripping wet and slightly wheezing. Everything was going to be okay. She’d been right. It couldn’t have been a coincidence. Of all the phone numbers in the world what was the likelihood that the voice on the end of this one spoke her mother’s native tongue?   

“I’m- I’m Angelina Archeron daughter. She gave me this number I don’t know what to do I-” 

The specifics aren’t as clear after that. Like a jigsaw left out in the rain or soaked in fresh hot blood, the pieces, the details, they’d melted to mush.  

 A mess she’d held in her hands and wondered what the fuck to do with.  

What do you do with a dead body and the knew found knowledge your mother was a boyevik for the Russian Mafia? What do you do with her retirement package which contained nothing but the contact for an assassin working for the New York arm.  

Nesta had only known what she wasn’t going to do.  

Go down for murder.  

Aunt Ripleigh had told her what to do over the phone, instructing her on how to deal with her injuries and Thomas’ pulp of a body.  How to explain the state of her face and ribs and fingers and head. What to do with his car and how to speak and sit and and react when then police came asking questions about Thomas’ disappearance. How to get away with it.  

 Nesta had followed each direction flawlessly.  Consoled in finally having a definitive plan. Even a plan that started with “buy meat cleaver, trash bag, battery powered blender and bucket, with cash from dead boyfriend’s wallet.” Even a plan that got progressively worse from that point on.  

 Filleting chunks of a body that had once been inside her. Hauling a trash bag of boyfriend smoothie to the river with broken fingers.  The thick slop sinking almost immediately just as Aunt Ripleigh had said it would. Before she’d told Nesta to burn the bones and roast marshmallows over them.  

 “If it had not been you it would have been next girl,” Ripleigh had said. “And she might not have had your fight.”  

 “You mean she might not have been disturbed enough to kill her boyfriend?” 

 “Killer instincts, Anastasia. Is not disturbed, is talent,” Aunt Ripleigh had said. “Cannot be taught but what can be taught you learn quick. No whining. Like very good puppy with very sharp teeth.” 

 “Woof,” Nesta had said dryly. 

 “Stray puppy though, no? Is why you have no manners.”

 “You offering to adopt me?” 

 “I have pet already. And my husband is funnier than you.” 

Nesta’s compromised rib had punished her for finding that funny.  

 “But you ever want job, you call me.” 

 Needless to say that was not the last time she’d called Aunt Ripleigh.  

 Three weeks later and four months shy of getting her high school diploma Nesta had turned eighteen and moved to New York in order to “pursue modelling”.  

In reality she was doing coffee runs with a dash more arsenic than normal and luring prosecutors to hotel rooms they’d never leave. A personal assistant of sorts to Aunt Ripleigh.  

She had kept the mafia, the Bratva, at an arms length whenever she’d been able. Paying off the shitty house she’d left her sisters in with one less mouth to feed and not wanting their address in any files accessible to people with skill sets like her’s.  

And while working with Ripleigh had been a mortiferous riot, two gals shattering the glass ceiling in their industry and slitting throats with the shards; Nesta had developed expensive taste from the fringes of high criminal society. She’d cared less about the art of killing than she had about the art she could hang up in a penthouse apartment if she were in private practice.  Her lust for comfort winning out after two years or so at which point she’d gone freelance. Assisting in a few heists before getting in with a crowd of Nazi hunters for a bit, all the while keeping in touch with her mentor.  

Until Feyre had moved to the city.  

 Then she’d given up on the more dangerous antics,  selling out for safer and even more lucrative bets like CEOs and cutting ties with Aunt Ripleigh. Terrified if not a little paranoid of something happening to her sister. Which had been shit.  Because Nesta hadn’t had any other friends. Like, at all.  

 At eighteen Feyre was still as bitter and proud as she’d been when Nesta had left. As Nesta herself still was.  

 Elain had tried bridging her sisters’ relationship once she’d moved to New York but she’d had better success career-wise. Working at a florists before eventually graduating to a self employed wedding planner. 

 Nesta had kept her thoughts on the psychological tells of a girl jilted at the alter becoming a wedding planner to herself. Mostly because Elain was always brining her cake samples she’d stolen and Nesta wasn’t going to sabotage her supply of free cake.  

 Feyre on the other hand had gone about far less conventional means of making a living. The child was a force to be reckoned with if for nothing but her resourcefulness and almost objectionable will to survive. Fiercely independent and clumsily capable she’d taken a crack at everything while selling her art on the side. It was a piece she’d modelled for that had delivered her to true economic grandeur however.  

 Well, “modelled” maybe wasn’t the word. Her sister had essentially been used as a human stamp. Her naked body detailed with intricately painted swirls then pressed to canvas.  

 The work had been showcased somewhere high brow and had caught the eye of one Mr Rhysand Velaris, thirty-one and the sole inheritor of his late father’s worldly possessions. Among which were several millions of dollars.  

 Half of which now belonged to her sister thanks to a very reckless prenup on his part.  

 Though Nesta had briefly wondered if he’d spent at least that on the engagement ring.  A glittering iceberg that seemed to only glare brighter next to the stark black band tattooed just beneath it, a matching tattoo on Rhysand’s own ring finger. Because of course they’d eloped in Paris and gotten tattoos instead of wedding rings. 

 If Nesta had been closer to her baby sister she imagined she might have felt betrayed on some level. But as things were, Nesta wasn’t entirely sure she would have received an invite even if they’d had a traditional wedding, planned to perfection by Elain. 

 It was probably the worst part of her job. The distance she had to put between herself and everyone she had the potential to care about. A distance she could never close even if she decided to retire right this minute because the damage had already been done.  Nesta had become a liability to their safety the minute she’d moved here and started in this line of work.  

 She took another chocolate from the box she’d snatched from downstairs on second thought. Her supply already dwindling thanks to the rather depression freight train of thought she’d embarked on.   

That and the fact they were really very good.  

Cassian may have been a prick, but she couldn’t deny he had great taste.  

In chocolate, and women, she thought smugly.  Sinking deeper into the basin.  

A heat flushed up her neck that had nothing to do with the bath as she unwillingly remembered how he’d softly coaxed one of these lovely little parcels between her full lips. The drunk hunger in his deep brown eyes and what he’d done next, snapping her lace thong between his teeth-  

Her music stopped. Only to be replaced by a buzzing thrum of her phone.  

Leaning forward Nesta checked the caller ID before swiping across the screen to accept the call and sinking back to her earlier position.  

“I’m not in the mood,” she hummed dismissively, head tipped back against the lip of the tub and eyes closing. She’d known this was coming, better to get it over with.  

“When I supply you with handsome, rich, and eligible men, I do not expect you to break them!” Feyre castigated through the phone, and anyone might guess she were the elder sibling.   

Feyre indeed thought herself wiser and more worldly than both Nesta and Elain, and getting married hadn’t helped diminish her false sense of maturity. Thrusting her character into some weird sarcastic seriousness that mirrored her husband’s demeanour perfectly. It made Nesta cringe so thoroughly she was mildly concerned about getting wrinkles.   

“And I thought we’d grown out of sharing toys, but it seems both our expectations were thwarted.” 

“Humans aren’t toys!” Feyre reminded her. Not that Nesta didn’t already know that. No vibrator had never made her cum as hard as Cassian had.  

“And if you resented me setting you up with Cassian then why did you fuck him ?” Feyre asked. And she said fuck as though it were synonymous to stab or poison.  

“Was it to punish me? Because if so you did a spectacular job. He’s crazier about you than ever and won’t stop moping. The second-hand embarrassment is painful enough without the added agony of how annoying it is.”  

If he likes me so much why was he so eager to assume the worst of me? Nesta thought spitefully. 

It didn’t matter that she technically was lying to him. He didn’t know that.  

“You told me to give him a chance.”  

“And you couldn’t have decided you didn’t like him before having sex with him?” 

Nesta wasn’t surprised Feyre had taken Cassian’s version of things at face value.   

Her husband’s family were unimpeachably wonderful in her eyes. Meanwhile Nesta remained just another reminder of a time Feyre couldn’t have afforded the plane ticket to get to New York, let alone a town house on the upper east side. A cold bitch who hadn’t begged to join the weird cult that was the Velaris family and their innermost circle when Feyre had married Rhysand last year.  

“Oh I’d already worked out he was an ass by that point but I thought he could at least make up for putting me through the date. Not much going on in that head but he quite clearly had it all going on- 

“Ew ew ew!” Feyre interrupted. “One, I need this conversation to steer clear of anything anatomical, and two, do you have to be so horrible?” 

“You’re the one pimping out your friends, I just took you up on the offer.”  

“Ever heard of the third date rule?” 

“Didn’t you marry Rhysand on the third date?” 

Feyre sighed.  

“Cassian’s a good guy, Nes. It takes a lot to come out the other side of what he’s been through a good man and he deserves the world so-” 

“So why did you send him my way?” 

Nesta knew what Feyre thought of her. And if she hadn’t then this conversation would have made it very clear.  

“Because Nesta! You’re twenty-four and already a crazy cat lady! I’m sorry I tried to save you from dying alone and having Vex eat your corpse.” 

Nesta rolled her eyes.  

“Have you ever considered I choose to be alone because I like it?” She asked. 

Feyre sighed again, but it was softer this time, sad more than exasperated.  

“You’re not alone, Nesta,” she said. “You’re lonely.” 

It was annoying enough that she was right, she didn’t have to be so pretentious about it aswell.  

“I’m fine,” Nesta said.  

“You sound just like Cassian,” Feyre grumbled.  

“Well I’ve been smoking.” 

“I’ll be sure to put how funny you were on your headstone when those things kill you.” 

“I’m racing Rhysand to the grave, he has more cigars than I do shoes.” 

“He only smokes them on special occasions.” 

“And how do you know this isn’t a celebratory cigarette on account of you calling me?” 

“Because instead of saying hi you said I’m not in the mood.” 

“Oh so you did hear me?” 

“I hear you, Nesta,” Feyre conceded, disappointment weighing on her words. “Loud and clear. Have a good week.”  

She hung up.  

“You too,” Nesta said into the silence.  

When the silence replied she sank beneath the water. As though she hoped it might act as the cushioned walls of a padded cell meant to protect those who posed a danger to themselves.  

It didn’t. And that unpleasant ache didn’t go away. It never did.  

Worse than the dull pounding in her ears and tightness in her chest as she held her breath.  

But it would be nothing compared to the devastation of seeing Feyre or Elain hurt. The tender ache of keeping them at arms length, knowing they were at least there to brush her fingers against, was worth avoiding spending the rest of her life reaching for someone taken from her.  

Perhaps that was also why she’d wanted so fiercely to dislike Cassian.  

Nesta re-emerged with a gasp, her chest on fire.  

What an unpleasant notion, she thought, running her fingers through her wet hair and  sinking back as she took a slower breath. That she’d been looking for a reason to dislike him even after overcoming the minor detail she was going to kill his friend and client.  An excuse to throw in the towel as soon as she could.  Because it was just easier.  

Easier than accepting she was fundamentally terrified of keeping him around.  

Easier than keeping him around and seeing him get hurt.  

Fuck.  

Her being mad at him had been a cop out.  

Because yes he’d been a petty, insecure idiot;  but hadn’t she told him she was going to fuck and chuck him? Hadn’t she been at typically fast to get in a fight with him? Substantiating his insecurities.  

Nesta might have been furious at his calling her a coward, but he hadn’t actually been wrong. 

She’d let some subliminal fear convince her to sabotage things.  

A subliminal and blissfully irrational fear she realised because, Cassian, a monument of pure muscle, could definitely look after himself. He’d been marine corps for Christ’s sake. Not to mention she’d seen him take down Helion enough times in the ring while still working for Eris and the fact the man literally specialised in keeping people safe for a living! 

Nesta felt a weird and almost unfamiliar lightness in her shoulders. It felt a little like hope. Which was also terrifying.  

But she wasn’t going to the let the fear control her this time.  

 — 

 Cassian had ignored her calls.  

All three.  

Which was fine because she’d been stalking him for the past month. She knew exactly where he’d be that evening and doing things in person meant she could kill him if he kept up the asshole routine.  

Nesta’s platform stiletto boots clipped against the laminate flooring as she emerged from the elevator.  Stalking lazily through the top floor of the Illyria building.   

Even if she killed Cassian he was going to die happy.  She looked good enough to eat. Thick hair fastened back into a high ponytail, the details of her face were subject to full attention. Her eyes appearing almost wider and lashes lavished with a black like her jet thigh-highs and tied coat. Plump lips softly lined and shaded, she looked drop dead fucking gorgeous.  

Though it was what she was wearing under her fastened coat that was the real killer.  

Nesta didn’t uncross her ankles from where they’d flicked over one another as she let herself lean against the doorframe of Cassian’s office.  

It was wide open. No privacy needed when everyone else had gone home around four hours ago. The night detail on Helion allowing Cassian time to catch up on work as he had every night and well into the morning for the past month.   

“All work and no play?”  

Cassian looked up from his desk.  

“I can fix that,” she said.  

He’d never looked more handsome.  

Hair bundled into a dark band, his shirt cuffed at his forearms and a bit of scruff marring his chiselled jaw. A pair of slim reading glasses were pushed up his slightly imperfect nose and it was such a turn on Nesta was glad she was leaning against something.  

He looked a little exhausted in a kind of brooding and adorable way.  

It gave her this awful pining to massage those sculpted shoulders as he let loose a deep, tired sigh, arms folding across that powerful chest causing his white shirt to hiss as he leaned back into his chair. It was a fucking massive bit of furniture. But then it had to be to accommodate him.  

“What are you doing here?”  

Rude.  

Nesta pushed off the doorframe and into his office.  

“You ignored my calls,” she said by way of explanation. Making her way to the bookcase and running her fingers across a row of spines. It was mostly files, but she noticed a few novels as well.  

“You kicked me out of your bed at three in the morning.” 

She turned to find him watching her.  

His words were dismissive and effortlessly confrontational as usual. But there was an edge to his voice. And it wasn’t arousal. Even if his gaze caught on her boots and lingering there for longer than he’d probably care to admit.  

Nesta leaned back against the bookshelf, inspecting her manicure with an eye roll.  

“You’re still upset about that?”  

“Not at all,” he said with a smirk. Reclining back against the chair a little further, hips rolling and arms casually folding. Too casually. The dangerous grace of it speaking to the emotion that no doubt roiled beneath his bronze skin. Belied by that bullshit cockiness which grated her to the bone. “It seems I dodged a bullet.” 

“Oh really?” 

“The whole hot but mean cliché is one thing, but crazy hookup who stalks me-“ 

“Don’t flatter yourself,” she sneered.   

She’d seen hints of this before. The rugged and crude act meant to cover up the insecurity she’d also been treated to.  

“Oh I’m sorry. I forgot you can’t ever admit what it is you want.” 

“You don’t have a clue what I want.” 

“I have several, Nesta.” He looked her up and down pointedly. 

The way he said her name. Even like this it made her weak in the knees while her fingers itched to choke him.  

It was all very conflicting.  

“Oddly confident in your last performance for someone so insecure,” she quipped lazily.  

Cassian rose his brows with a mean a laugh.   

“What do I have to be insecure about?” He said. “I didn’t hide behind a half-ass lie to throw someone out of my bed. And I’m pretty sure even your neighbours can attest to how good of a time I gave you,” he smirked again.  “You’re not a good enough liar for the way you moaned my name to have been an act.” 

The white hot fist in her stomach folded in on itself as it melted to a stickiness despite the misguided insult. She certainly hadn’t been putting it on Saturday. Every sound he’d drawn from her dripping with sincerity. Every moan and whimper well deserved.   

“You’re right,” she said.  

Cassian blinked.  

Nesta prowled toward him and hummed, “those, four, orgasms, were about as fake as my emergency.” 

The sultry softness to her voice thickened to something less affected at those last words.  

Cassian scoffed. Though there was something withdrawn and careful to him that hadn’t been there a second ago. Like a snake recoiling in case it needed to strike.  “Your emergency, of course. Which was?” 

“Nothing to do with you.”  

He shook his head, laughing bitterly.   

“Seriously, Nesta? You’ve had two days to come up with something now.”  

“You’re not listening to me,” Nesta slipped atop the corner of the desk, perching there with her long legs crossed over one another. The blade of a stiletto heel close enough to brush up his calf if she wanted to make him shiver.  

But she didn’t. She just wanted him to listen. To understand what she was saying so she didn’t have to say anything more because for fucks sake he was the one who’d acted up and yet she was here putting her pride on the line again.  

“It had nothing, to do with you,” she said slowly.  

A weighted silence settled like snow between them.   

Until Cassian took a blow torch to it.  

“Shit.” 

His head fell into those large hands.   

“Shiiiiiiiit,” he cursed again. “Oh god, how badly have I fucked up?” He groaned, looking up.  So humbled and distraught it was almost comical.  

“Irredeemably.” Her eyes flirted with the notion of a little smile even if her mouth remained unquirked as she propped her hands against the desk behind her and leaned into them to more comfortably watch him suffer.  

“I’d beg you not to tease me but honestly I think it’s the least I deserve- fuck.” 

“Like me teasing you isn’t the highlight of your day.” She rolled her eyes.  

Cassian laughed, pained and almost sheepish, which shouldn’t have been hot but god it made her blush.  

Keep your cool goddamn it. She wanted a little more bang for her buck where grovelling was concerned before she let on how eager she was for things to get back on track.  

“Want to flat out abuse me and make it the highlight of my year?” 

She was struggling to keep the smile off her face even as she said, “I’m not in the habit of rewarding bad behaviour. You’re a man, you get enough of that already.” 

“Nesta,” he took his glasses off, setting them down on the desk beside her thigh. “I’m sorry,” he said, looking her in the eyes. “I’m, really, really fucking sorry I’m an idiot.” 

Nesta slid of the desk.  

“Go on,” she instructed.  

“A moron a fool a stupid, stupid son of a bitch.” 

Taking a step forward she was stood between his thighs. Picking up his glasses and pushing them back on his nose. Missing the sight of this hulking, powerhouse of a man in spectacles.  

“I’m sorry.” Cassian was looking up at her with those big brown eyes, and the bastard actually leaned into her palm.  

“Oh for fucks sake how did anyone discipline you as a child with those damn puppy-dog eyes?” She growled softly, furious.  

“They didn’t to be honest,” he admitted with a breathy laugh.  

“I can tell.” 

She slid her hands to his shoulders, fingers curling soft and possessive over the stacked muscle and palms pressed to his upper chest, stepping tighter into him.  

“I guess I’ll just have to do it.”  

Cassian swallowed.  

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, sweetheart,” he tried. Intoxicatingly deep, trying to maintain that arrogant and playful edge in a way that made his words all the hotter. The simmering ache he attempted to push down all but throbbing in his voice.   

“Don’t tell me what to do,” she returned, brows arched. Battling a smirk off her face.  

“Can I ask you to do something for me, then?” 

“If you say please.” 

“Please don’t screw around with me.” 

Nesta faltered.  

Those warm hands came to rest on her lower back, long fingers curling slightly into the fabric and coaxing her that last bit closer so that her thighs brushed against the edge of his chair and her stomach was brushing up against his.  

“I’m really into you,” he admitted.  “You’re smart and you’re beautiful, and at first I thought the whole hard to get thing was an act but woman you are genuinely hard to get and it is, so sexy. But whatever it is that’s holding you back, that made you wait a week to call me, that made you claim all you wanted was a hook up; I’m clearly not cut out to compete,” he confessed. “It got in my head, and that’s on me and me lashing out at you the other night that’s on me too and I’m so, so sorry Nesta. I need to know where I stand with you though. I need to know if you’re actually interested in me. Because I like you. But I’m too old for games.” 

The silence was so thick she could have cut through it with a knife.  

Nesta’s hands fell from his chest slowly.  

“That’s good,” she assured him at last. “Because I’m not a toy.”  

She brought her fingers to the belt of her coat and pulled slow and deliberate.  

Black glazed her figure with a gorgeous intimacy. The dress hugging at what little it concealed with perfection enough to make up for its lake of mercy. Long legs sheathed in those thigh-high boots, the item was short enough that a decent length of her thighs could be seen. Interrupted at the last possible moment by sleek jet as though she’d been dipped in oil of purest night.   

Cassian’s eyes blew out to sticky treacle behind those glasses.  

“I’m human, Cass,” she hummed, tossing her coat onto the desk behind her as she spoke. “Which means I make mistakes.” He swallowed as she sighed softly, her cleavage swelling a little with the motion.  “And that I have needs. Needs you can be the one to fulfill or not.” 

She slipped into his lap, straddling him, knees bent either side of his thighs. The corded strength of which pressed painfully and exhilaratingly apparent against the soft seam of her inner thighs and she was genuinely suffering from some kind of contact high. Every inch of him seizing up subtly, deliciously taught at her touch in an effort not to respond and yet it only revealed just how much she affected him.  

“Nesta-“ 

“Shhhhhh,” she interrupted. Hands cupping that ruggedly handsome face and titling it back to tuck her’s against him slowly. “But I want it to be you,” she purred against his jaw, tracing her nose up the stubbled curve. “Let me show you how bad.” 

“Someone could come back-“ 

“I don’t care,” Nesta murmured against his mouth. “I want you.” 

His eyes fluttered shut. And she felt his cock stir in those immaculately tailored slacks.  

“Nesta-” 

She could feel every muscle that licked up his stomach tremble with a drawn out contraction as she said it again, her hands slipping down to his broad shoulders. 

“I want you,” she purred again.  

He might have tried to breath.  And it might have rubbed up something uncomfortably nice in her lower tummy.  

“Say it,” she whispered, tilting her face so that the tip of her nose brushed up the side of his. Her breath hot on his stubbled Cupid’s bow and hands running down the solid power of his upper body, burning up through his shirt. “Say it, Cassian.” 

His brown eyes like cognac and magnolia were hooded behind his glasses as he conceded.  

“You want me,” he breathed.  

She grazed her mouth against his. Lips parted suggestively and an almost silent, utterly cruel noise escaping her.  

The length of his thick cock pressed up against the seam of her plush sex as he grew to full, hard attention in his slacks. Warm and thrilling even through her panties and their open mouths melted into one another hot and heavy, tongues caressing as his large hands came to her knees and smoothed up her bare thighs covetously. 

“Fuck,” he groaned lazily as her hips began rolling deeply into him, and her hands slid under his shirt. Fingers splayed, she snaked up the cobbled muscle of his stomach, the flesh burnished and warm beneath her touch. His shirt riding up to reveal the gutter of his hips, gruesomely toned and dusted with hair.   

“This is…such a…” he breathed, between the perfect and yearning motions of their jaws, a hand smoothing up her waist in a way that made her shiver.  

“Dream come true?” She hummed, kissing him wanton and unhurried. Dangerously close to becoming a brainless mess with the way his cock rubbed up her core.  

His groan melted to a laugh or maybe it was the other way round.  

“Yes,” he admitted breathlessly. “And a bad, bad…idea.” 

“Well you’ve been a bad, bad boy, Cassian,” she whispered filthily against his ear, before capturing the lobe between her teeth softly.  

She sucked and nibbled oh so gently and he expelled a breath so gravelly and masculine it twisted the hungry knot in her core tighter. 

“Nesta…we-fuck you’re good at that…” he groaned lethargically . “Sweetheart, we can’t…” 

“Why not,” she coed quietly, the sound airy and affectedly filthy.  

“We’re…” he choked as he took in the sight of her cleavage, pushed intimately to his chest and escaping the neckline of her dress like a plume of toothpaste squeezed from the tube. “Fucking hell Nesta we’re in my office.” 

“And I’m saying you could be in me.” 

She rocked her hips against him with a particularly cruel slant.  

The groan that escaped him made something flip in her stomach, tossing about whatever sweet, impossible to describe feeling rushed there at the same time at the way his head fell back against the chair as she worked him over.  The hot friction that rubbed against her sensitive core the cherry on top of the sweet, creamy, decadent sundae.  

“Besides,” she moaned, breathless and sultry. Teeth plunging softly into her plump bottom lip as she continued rolling her hips. Hands rubbing over his shoulders and providing her leverage. “You’re the boss.” 

“I think we both know…that I’m not the boss…right now…” he groaned. Almost pained.  

“Your cock a little much for those slacks?” She hummed, faux sympathy dripping through her mocking pout. 

“I thought you liked a tight fit,” she teased, still pouting but eyes smokey. Her toes curling in her boots as her fingers began work on pulling his shirt apart.  

The buttons popped undone with a sensual and pining tempo and she was moaning quietly into his mouth as she explored the panes and ripples of that powerful upper body. More than thorough in her hands-on assessment.  

Cassian’s own hands were keeping just as busy, massaging and kneading her ass indulgently before smoothing over her rolling hips and eventually coming to her lower back. His thumbs pressing to the small of her back either side of her spine and it made something tight inside her swoon. The touch so hot and the memory it conjured so good. His big hands on her as he fucked her from behind.  

“Nesta,” Cassian groaned deeply, as she began rocking into him tighter, hotter. The impression of his cock lined up just right with her aching core.  

“Hey, baby,” She purred, drunk on the friction that made her whole body throb and hum with pleasure and the tip of her nose brushing the side of his. Hands snaking from his exposed chest to either side of his face and capturing his bruised mouth with her own. Chewing on his bottom lip obscenely, the friction beginning to push her over edge.  

“Fuck you’re incredible,” he groaned huskily once she let up. Kissing back decadently. “I’m so sorry,” he breathed almost mindlessly. “I’m so fucking sorry, Nesta.” 

“You wanna show me how sorry you are?” she purred, sultry and low, mouth parting, forehead still pressed to his and eyes fluttering open to hold his own.   

Cassian nodded, dumb and silent and eager and Jesus it turned her on.  

“Yeah? You wanna make me cum?” She hummed.  

“Yes, yes, please.” 

“Touch me, Cassian,” she whispered against his open mouth. “Make it up to me, make me feel good.” 

Cassian’s hands slid back to her ass and she moaned into the kiss he captured her lips in as he lifted her with a sensual squeeze,  wrapping her long legs tightly round the tapered cut of his waist as he stood.  

The surface of the desk was beneath her before she could work out which way was up and his touch smoothed down her legs to her knees before she could take a a breath in reprieve from kissing him. Her legs splitting either side of his broad hips and his erection, tucked to the side in his slacks and thick and heavy and hard, pushed against the inner seam of her thigh as he pulled that band from her hair. 

“I’m gonna make these gorgeous legs tremble for me,” he pledged against the her jaw, kissing and nipping his way down to where her pulse throbbed for him as he a hand through the loose locks.  

And he began suckling at that sensitive spot just as a calloused hand slipped between her thighs.  

“Mmmmm,” Nesta moaned smugly, gripping at his biceps still sheathed in the sleeves of his shirt as Cassian’s thumb ran up the seam of her dripping cunt through her panties. The lace a flimsy veil between her swollen clit and his hot touch.  

“Fuck I’ve missed you,” he moaned into her neck, her head rolling back as he snapped her panties and began stroking his fingers through her soft folds possessively. “Missed those little sounds and your mouth and this pretty neck and perfect pussy.” 

“Then cut out the all bark no bite bullshit and prove it,” she breathed.  

“Yes ma’am,” he murmured thickly, the pad of his thumb coming to her clit and she moaned as he circled the sensitive bundle of nerves expertly. Her nails pressing into his shoulders, a few through the hiss of his shirt but the others carving crescents into the bronze muscle and tattoos like the meat of an apple.   

His forefinger began teasing at her tight entrance and Nesta’s breath caught.  

“Tease me and you’ll fucking regret it,” she warned thickly, and he pushed the digit inside.  

The intrusion was far from the thick, eight inches she craved, but when he curled his finger against a sensitive, swollen spot deep inside her Nesta keened aloud.  

“You look so fucking good like this,” Cassian breathed, husky and bestial as he crooked his finger inside her over and over.  

“More,” she demanded. 

It probably wasn’t clear if she was demanding more dirty praise or physical attention but Cassian was a good boy and covered all his bases. A second finger pushing inside her that second.   

She gasped as the snug walls of her cunt stretched to accommodate the two of them as he waxed lyrical about how hard her moaning got him.  Their foreheads level and those deep brown eyes lathering her with his earnest attention.  

“You’re dripping down my knuckles like a fucking peach,” Cassian told her as he thrust inside her over and over, the only thing more obscene than her facial expression and the breathless sounds she was making being the quite, wet noises his fingers illicited.  

He hadn’t let up on her clit, and at the exact moment he decided to start curling those two fingers together, he increased the speed and pressure with which he rubbed at her most responsive spot with his thumb.  

“Cassian,” Nesta moaned, her fingers running up the nape of his neck and delving into his hair, still pulled into that bun.  

“That’s it, that’s so fucking hot, baby, I want your cum dripping down my wrist,” he growled softly. Her nails sliding down his scalp.  

“You’re so fucking needy,” she got out, which only served to utterly delight him. His thumb working at her from an oh so subtly more intense angle that had a familiar buzzing low inside her threatening to pluck her apart at the seams.  

“Oh my god fuck,” she moaned. “Uhhu, that’s it, just like that oh my god.” 

“You gonna cum, Nesta? You gonna cum on my desk- Jesus I’m gonna be thinking about you moaning, long legs spread for me while you moan so fucking dirty for my fingers every time I’m sat at this fucking desk now, you know that?”  

His words sent her over the edge.  

Silently she threw her head back as her orgasm licked up every frayed nerve in her body. It was hard. And Cassian kept on working those thick fingers inside her and over her sensitive clit throughout.  

Fucking her dirty and skilled. Prolonging her twitching and bone melting pleasure.  

Until she was snaking her hands from where they’d wound through his fastened hair, and pushing him off her at the shoulders.  Falling back on her forearms with a shaky exhale, thighs still trembling subtly.  

Cassian smirked. And brought his fingers to his mouth. Licking up the length of the calloused, sticky digits. Eyes on her’s from behind those obnoxiously sexy reading glasses she had half a mind to slap off his face.  

“You taste even better than I remember,” he purred.  

“Then get on your knees.” 

Her voice was shaky but he didn’t even throw her another of those antagonistic and gorgeous smirks, just sank down. All six foot whatever, two hundred and something ridiculous pounds of muscle. Knelt on the floor between her legs.  

“Is initiative encouraged of am I to be strictly obedient?” There was that smirk.  

“You can use your brain,” she permitted. Still out of it. But still dying for him to touch her again.  “If only because I need to be convinced you have one.”  

His chuckle felt like fucking heaven between her thighs. His stubbled jaw rubbing up against her aching cunt as he kissed her like he meant it. Open mouthed and his tongue then slipping out to lavish her dripping slit before he began playing with her clit with the tip.  

Nesta moaned, chewing down on her lip once she located the dignity to quieten down so she could keep it that way.  

Her previous orgasm should have taken the edge off, but it had only reminded her already whetted appetite what there was to gorge on. Leaving her pining for more and disastrously sensitive.  

“Mmmm,” Cassian moaned deeply- though honestly it was closer to a growl which was hot- and brought those large hands to her thighs. Holding her open for him stoking the bruise-blue flame that writhed in her core and allowing him better access to her pussy.  

“Oh god right there,” Nesta keened. His nose brushing up against her clit as he licked up her snug entrance, teasing his tongue inside.  

He threw her legs over his stacked shoulders and obeyed, working his tongue inside her with shameful enthusiasm only emphasised by the noises he was making. Seriously he was putting her to shame.  

In fact if she hadn’t been rapidly approaching another orgasm she might have thought he was have more fun than her.  

Hands no longer occupied with gripping her black-clad thighs they came to her hips and waist. Coaxing her to slant forward at an angle that granted him an even more advantageous angle from which to eat her out.  

She moaned, manicured nails almost clawing into his desk behind her. “Mhmm mhmm uh,” she gasped sharply at the sudden relocation of his tongue. Cassian capturing her clit in his mouth and sucking on the sensitive bud as he flicked his tongue up and down.  

“Fuck, yes yes yes yes,” she was utterly breathless. “Oh god, oh fuck, I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum,” she whined.  

Cassian fucking groaned and it was like he’d pulled at the knot in her stomach with his teeth.  

The muscles in her lower stomach twitching as she came, the cushiony walls of her cunt pulsing tight and the only thing grounding her to reality.  

Though she was just lucid enough to know Cassian was lapping up the nectar between her legs with audible and pleased snarls of pure, masculine satisfaction.  

Nesta couldn’t say how long it took her to stop seizing, just that she was completely drunk on pleasure by the time her body allowed her to at least try and think. She failed completely. Wasted on her orgasm, on Cassian.  

“Come ‘ere,” she said, breathless and doped up. Eyes barely fluttering open, heavy lidded and probably glazing over with unabashed appreciation as Cassian did as he was told. Rising to stand before her, thick arms winding round her waist snuggly and pulling her to him tight.  

His sheathed erection pushed to her sticky inner thigh and his powerful upper body, chiselled and broad and comforting, warm and hard and dusted with dark hair, pushed to her’s.  

His sharp jaw, like her thighs, was slightly sticky, and his mouth looked even more abused than it from the attention of her teeth. But the best part- better than his mid-sex blush or the way he was breathing all deep and powerful and hungry for her, were his glasses. They were slightly fogged up at the edges.  

“Apology accepted?” He asked huskily, like he was already sure of the answer. Like he didn’t care because no matter what she said he was going to have her screaming for him till they were both sick of each other.  

“Apology accepted,” Nesta confirmed. Splayed hands smoothing up his broad chest as she captured his lips in a wanton kiss.  

“That still leaves your punishment though,” she whispered.  

Cassian’s dark brows had barely risen before she’d pushed him back and he was falling into the chair again. Breathing deep and thrumming with a desire that destabilised him as he watched her slip a stiletto heel beneath her panties on the floor and flick them up into her hand. Prowling toward him and climbing into his lap. Hoping it wasn’t obvious that her legs felt like liquid.  

“Hold these,” she demanded, feeding the bundle of lace into his mouth, his groan muffled by the fabric and her hands making quick and embarrassingly eager work of removing his unfastened shirt. All but tearing it off his sculpted arms that must have been as thick as her thighs- his body was ridiculous.  

She griped his wrists before he could start doing something like feeling her up and brought them behind his head. Elbows out and biceps flexed, his hands meeting in the middle at the nape of his neck.  

Cassian kissed and nipped at her fingers as she plucked her panties from his mouth with one hand, holding his wrists with the other.  

He licked at his lips as though chasing the taste of her lingerie, eyes on her’s from behind his glasses.  

She wasn’t gentle knotting the lace round his wrists.  

“Oh,” he grinned, trying to move his arms.  

He couldn’t of course, the physics working against him and rendering it so his only way out would be pulling until the lace snapped for a second time this evening. Still, it was a fucking gorgeous sight watching him try. Biceps and broad chest flexing.  

Tied up and at her mercy she was dripping wet for him and slipped her tongue into his mouth as a little reward for how fucking hot he looked like this. Kissing him obscene and wet.  

“Safe word?” She murmured into his mouth.  

“Harder,” Cassian grinned. No doubt referencing her answer to the very same question the other night.  

Nesta bit his bottom lip, puncturing the bruised cushion subtly and she tasted blood on her teeth and his tongue.  

“Safe word,” she insisted once more against his lips, fingers winding through his hair with a drawn out and yearning pull.  

“Amren,” he groaned`. Then added, “don’t ask.” 

“Yeah we’re done talking,” she informed him dismissively. Unbuckling his belt and pulling it through the loops of his slacks with a swift tug.  

Cassian’s hips jumped beneath her and she unfastened the button slung low on his hips, pulling the zip of his fly down. Parted lips close to brushing.  

“Down boy,” she purred.  

“Bit late for that,” he breathed raggedly, jaw feathering as she slid her hand into his boxers.  

“God you’re adorable,” Nesta pouted, freeing his thick cock. Obnoxiously engorged and a dribble of pearlescence spilling from the uncut tip.  

“Now be a good boy and don’t you dare cum until I say,” she warned.  

And sank down on thick inch after inch of his hot, rigid shaft.  

Nesta couldn’t help the arch that slipped through her spine as he filled her up, the stretch so acute it had her eyes rolling back with a flutter of her thick lashes.  

“Oh my god,” she moaned breathlessly, hands splayed against his powerful chest. Thighs straddling his, her walls hugged him vice like and- Jesus, he rubbed up that deep spot inside her perfectly. 

“Nesta,” Cassian groaned beneath her. “You’re so… fucking tight.” 

Nesta rolled her head to the side in tandem with her hips, growing accustomed to the sheer size of him and eliciting a raw sound from the man before she removed his reading glasses. Fitting them over the bridge of her own petite nose.  

“No backseat driving now, sweetheart,” she purred a little shakily.  

She rose onto her knees only to sink back down again with a filthy twist of her hips. Repeating the motion again and again. Gliding up and down his cock with a tight and slippery friction that had her stomach flexing and his gaze heavy lidded. Encouraging, low noises escaping from deep in his chest that she wanted to bottle up and get drunk on.  

“Uhh,” she keened, dirty and blissful, hands on his stacked shoulders. “Uhhu.” 

“Oh fuck,” Cassian breathed huskily. “Mmhhm…that’s it…fucking ride me baby” 

Nesta felt a familiar heat fan at her core as she drank him up. Every perfect, delicious inch there for her to use.  

“Cassian,” she moaned. The sound tasting like sex in her mouth.  

She fluttered around him again on an upwards twist of her hips, his cock pushing in and out of her snug cherry with a delicious wet sound. Just audible above her filthy moans.   

Riding him was like sucking on a hard candy, that intense sweetness at the centre burning ever closer. And he kept running that damn mouth.  Gravelly and deep, lavishing her body with sickly sweet and dirty compliments.  

“Fuck that’s it gorgeous, just like that sweet thing fucking hell you’re fucking perfect.” 

Powerful and dripping with raw fucking desire his body rolled upwards into her, slick with sweat and chiselled sinew.  His cock burying deeper inside her. The sounds he was making just to top it off causing a tight fuzziness to tremble in her upper thighs.   

“Oh my god,” Nesta moaned, hands coming to his face and lips brushing his as so she moaned a hot, “I’m gonna cum,” into his mouth.  

Cassian groaned. Kissing her hard and deep.  

“Cassian,” she keened.  

She began bouncing deeper in his lap. Up and down up and down. His cock thrusting inside her hard and rubbing at her g spot just right while her clit grazed the coarse hair at his rugged hips. There was a bead of sweat gliding down the chiselled muscle that carved his broad torso, washboard abs flexing as he resisted release and Nesta felt the pressure between her thighs reach a fever pitch.  

Grunting he bucked violently beneath her once, twice, and she was undone.   

Nesta might have made a noise this time. Airy and hot and open mouthed against his neck as she buried her hands into his hair.  

He was so tense beneath her, like pure marble soaked in the heat of the sun. Trying not spill inside her as her walls flexed with every hot wave of pleasure.  

And once it passed his breathing was as ragged as her own.  

“You did so good,” Nesta whispered at last against his ear. Voice wrecked like she were experiencing a sugar crash. Nibbling at the lobe. Tasting salt on her lips and eyes fluttering shut at the heady scent of his aftershave.  

“Does that mean I get a reward?” he managed.  

“Something like that,” she hummed, repositioning herself so that her back was to his chest.  

“Nesta please. Just untie me, sweetheart,” Cassian whispered against her ear. Voice trembling like he’d shot up something good.  

Nesta only chuckled, head knocked back so she could hold his eyes as she rolled her hips. Teasing, tormenting.  

“The second you get your hands on these,” she brought her hands to her tits, giving them a soft squeeze and biting her lip, “you’ll be cumming and out of commission.”  

Cassian growled, watching her feel herself up as she rolled her hips in leisurely circles.  Sensual and dirty. The length of his hard shaft, thick and velvet smooth beneath her.  

“Fuck,” he moaned huskily. Nose buried at her throat and lips working against her pulse point with the assistance of his tongue and teeth. Just as slow and through as her hips. 

She gasped softly, grinding deeper.  

“You know how good I can make it for you,” he purred.  

“Mmmm,” she moaned quietly in agreement.  

“Let me take care of you.” 

“Cassian.” 

“You make my name sound so sexy,” he grazed his stubbled jaw against the bruise he’d worked into her throat, the sensitive skin blushing warm at the contact as he moved his mouth to another location and started kissing and nibbling there.  “Untie me, baby, and I’ll give you everything you want.” 

Nesta smiled.  

“Or I could keep you tied up and just take it.” 

Cassian growled against her neck as she tilted her hips forward allowing his cock to spring up, and sank down on him again.  

She moaned, loud and keening. Hands snaking through his hair behind her as she rocked herself up and down slowly. There wasn’t a lot of friction, but for now it was enough just to revel in how good Cassian’s cock felt. That last orgasm having finally takes the edge off.  

“Fuck that’s it grind for me,” he moaned. His breath was hot against her neck and she could feel his heart beat. Feel every deep sound reverberate through his chest as she moved.   

His cock rubbed up against her g spot, colours and stars bleeding behind her eyes like fireworks.  

“Cassian,” she whimpered lowly.  

It was so good.  

Hands fumbling distractedly she brought her fingers to untie him.  And he deemed it all the permission he needed. Tearing himself free with a growl.  Capturing her mouth in a slow and wanton kiss as those big hands came to rove her body, taking his time to pull her apart.  

His touch hot and calloused, Nesta moaned into his mouth as he ran up her stomach, her hips, her thighs, her tits. Massaging and glazing every inch of her with a rough heat that made her feel like she was going to explode. Her body a champagne flute dangerously close to shattering at the frequency of his hot groans and growls.  

“Right there, oh right fucking there baby,”  She moaned quietly against his lips, one of his hands rubbing her hip and guiding her motions while the other palmed at her breast.  

“Yeah? You like that?” He dipped his head to pull down the straps of her bra and dress down with his teeth until her cleavage spilt from the cups. Pebbled nipples tight and rosy in the dim light, peaking over the balcony of her bra.  

“Mmmmm,” he murmured against her throat, exploiting the sensitive spot as he made his way back up to her face and watched her plump tits sway. A hand running from her hip down her thigh and back up again to slip between her legs to stroke her clit. 

Nesta whined softly.  

“Cassian…more…” 

She kissed him sluggish and distracted. The two of them humming and moaning every so often until he started caressing her clit tighter and her sounds grew more frantic.  

“Fuck uhhu, uhhu just like that,” she panted quietly into his mouth. “Oh god uhh, uhhh more…more…more more Cassian fuck me.” 

She was on her feet before she could complain that his hands were no longer between her thighs. Pushed up against the edge of his desk, hands falling splayed against the surface to stop herself falling across the wood and legs split apart.   

“Oh!” 

“Good girl,” he grunted deeply. “Moan for me.” 

His calloused fingers came to her clit, coaxing her closer to the edge as the other gripped her hip.  

“That’s it, that’s my girl such a good girl baby.” 

Mouth caught open as though on a fish hook Nesta started seeing black splodges, the puddles flaring in her vision on every one of his thrusts. Deep and dirty and filling her till she was so impossibly full she spilt over.  

“Fuck fuck just like that oh my god you’re so fucking tight, cum on my cock, cum on my cock, uh, uh, uh.”  

Cassian finished inside her with a guttural sound as she came. Pumping her full one last time with a brutal snap of his hips.  

She was vaguely aware of his ragged breathing against her ear. Somewhat sure her forearms had fallen flat against his desk and her head hung forward. Hair falling over her face and back arched as her tight sex twitched and fluttered around him.  

Coming back to her senses took longer than she’d ever admit.  

“Is that cctv?” Nesta asked eventually, head tipped back and resting on his shoulder. Eyes flicking in gesture to the tiny little camera in the opposite corner of the ceiling.  

“Don’t worry,” Cassian breathed. “It’s switched off.” 

She turned her gaze to him.  

“Shame.” 

He let out an exhausted and reverent sound that might have been a laugh. And just as exhausted, once he’d pulled out, he fell back into the chair behind him. Trousers pulled back up but unbuttoned.  

Nesta followed in fatigued suit, working her dress back down over her hips and sinking to the floor, back against the desk. She probably shouldn’t have worn black… but the impending bill and judgement from her dry cleaner would be worth it.  

“Friday night. Pick me up at eight,” she breathed.  

Cassian grinned.  

“You like Italian?”  

Nesta rolled her eyes from behind the reading glasses askew on her nose, but nodded none the less. She was sort of screwed if she didn’t. Cassian’s adopted family were Italian on his father’s side. The cuisine was going to be pretty commonplace if they kept seeing each other she imagined.  

“What are you thinking about?” He hummed, watching her.  

Nesta smiled. Then crawled toward him across the floor. “How I still have that table cloth you call a dinner jacket at my place.”  

 “Was that plan b?” He laughed, snaking an arm round her waist as she climbed into his lap. “Hold my jacket hostage till I agreed to go out with you again?”  

“No,” she glared at him softly, nestling into the crease of his shoulder. “Though I had thought about wearing it tonight. Just your jacket and a pair of heels.” 

Cassian licked his lips as though contemplating the sight and liking what he imagined very much. “Next time,” he hummed distractedly. Less promise more pleading. “This was…,” his free hand roved down her side, the black fabric glued to her figure. “And these…,” his touch made her melt as he ran down her thigh and platform boot, her legs flicked over one another.  

“Lethal,” he whispered.  

Nesta scoffed. “You’re telling me. My toes are killing me.”  

Cassian hummed sympathetically, fitting a heel in his hand and guiding the shoe off her foot. Nesta groaned softly and he did the same with the other boot.  

“That bad?” He chuckled, starting to massage her.  

“Worth it though,” she sighed, nuzzling into his shoulder.  

  Cassian held the door open for Nesta to emerge out onto the street first. The cool night air whipping lazily at her hair. 

Their second date had been incredible.  

He’d taken her to Gnocco in the East Village. Proper Italian food, fairy lights, and intimate little corners perfect for flirting over too many glasses of wine and playing footsie beneath the table. Not to mention casual enough to see Nesta Archeron fitted out in heels, a snug black top, and a jaw dropping pair of jeans.  

Tactically quiet and effortlessly biting as ever, she’d been armed with passionate reviews on the podcasts she’d listened to or books she’d read that week. Asking him about his own week and listening thoughtfully in a way that had probably made him blush.  

If it hadn’t, then the way she’d licked at the creamy vanilla gelato on her dessert spoon definitely had.  

Cassian was far too tempted to slip his hand into the back pocket of her dark skinny jeans as he emerged after her, but he felt Nesta probably wasn’t one for PDA. Or more accurately, public groping. And he was determined to be on his best behaviour this evening. Determined to make her forget all about how shit-awfully he’d handled last Saturday.  

Not that he hadn’t given her a thorough apology.  

Consistency was key however, and there would be no lapse in his conduct any time soon when it came to Nesta. He’d lucked out so fucking hard in getting a second chance when he hadn’t even deserved the first with a woman like her. Clever and beautiful and passionate and god he had it bad.  

Had been thinking about her all week. Their date the only thing getting him through the late nights that were pretty much killing him at this point and the days spent arguing with Helion.  

Cassian had worked out who’d put a hit on his friend. And why.  

The contracts Helion was in the midst of signing were of a more personal nature that he’d originally let on. His will to be precise. In which it was detailed that upon his death, the pharmaceutical powerhouse that was Day Inc. should be handed over to Saoirse Vanserra.  

The married woman Helion had gone and fallen in love with twenty odd years ago. The mother of his child. 

Not that Helion had been aware of the that little detail until recently. Terminally ill, Saoirse hadn’t wanted the secret buried with her, and had gotten in touch with her old flame to tell him her youngest was his.  

Despite being well into his fifties, Helion behaved like a twenty-something at the best of times. But learning he had a son that actually was twenty-something had thrust him into a panicked play at accountability. Saoirse was going to die, and soon, but Helion would still have a piece of her, a piece of the both of them despite the estrangement that had haunted their relationship since the start. A piece he’d do every and anything in his power to do right by.  

Which meant Lucien would inherit his father’s company when the time came.  

But removing Saoirse from his will…it felt like signing her death warrant. At least that’s what he’d told Cassian. That it it felt like he was giving up on her.  

Cassian wished Helion could process everything in as much time as it took him. But time was a luxury not even the multi-millionaire could afford. Not with Saoirse’s eldest, Eris, trying to take him out before the will could be changed.  

As things stood, Eris was set to inherit anything of his mother’s- a compromise reached between Saoirse and her cunt of a husband who’d wanted everything in his name. The Vanserra court its own savage little patriarchy of snakes and vipers, meaning as long as Beron was around, what belonged to his sons, belonged to him.  

Still, Eris was the undisputed second in command and Beron wasn’t getting any younger. If he could take Helion out before any changes were made to the CEOs will, and if Saoirse’s doctors were to be believed, Day would practically be his by the end of the year.  

Maybe sooner. If Beron beat his cancer ridden wife to death upon learning she’d been left Helion Day’s company and why.   

He doubted anyone would put it past the bastard.  

“Hey,” Nesta’s voice tugged at his attention as they turned off tenth. “Where’d you go?”  

Cassian snaked his arm around her small waist, pulling her against him. “Just thinking,” he said. And as hard as he tried to push those thoughts away, something of them lingered in his voice.  

She raised a neat eyebrow. That little beauty spot above the arch lifting with it and the one beneath the corner of her plump bottom lip quirking just barely.  

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you do that before.” 

He couldn’t help but laugh. Tucking her tighter to his side as he looked down at her. “That’s because the only thing I ever think about is you. And when I’m with you, I don’t have to do that, do I?” 

Her blush was so utterly adorable it made him want to kiss her senseless.  

“How do you do that?” Those eyes like the smoke of ice narrowed in sincere curiosity. It was a little terrifying.  Which off course only made him like her more.  

“What? Make you blush like a-” 

“No,” she interrupted him with an embarrassed and chiding laugh, pushing at his chest slightly. “Say things, just say them-  like the only thing that matters is that you mean them?” 

Cassian smiled. “Not everything has to be done strategically, Nesta.”  

“Says the military man.” 

“And wouldn’t you say that makes me qualified to- okay fine, roll your eyes at me. Jokes on you because it’s actually very sexy when you do that so.” 

Nesta laughed, her head falling to rest below his chest as they walked.  

“Fortunate you say something to make me roll my eyes every five seconds then,” she hummed.  

“And that I know just how to make those eyes roll back,” he purred lowly in response with a roguish grin, rubbing his thumb against where her coat lay over her stomach.  

“Oh and you’re telling me this whole conversation wasn’t strategically constructed so you could use that line?” Nesta looked up at him.  

“Sweetheart, when are you going to accept that I’m just incredibly smooth?” He grinned. “Besides, that wasn’t a line.”  

“That was so a line!”  

“You’d know if I was giving you a line.” 

“Go on then. Give me your best line,” she challenged. Stopping dead and turning on him with her arms folded. Cassian didn’t let his arm slip from around her waist though. Kept it right where it was as he brought his free hand to tuck a lock of chocolatey hair behind her ear. Inspiration striking him.  

“Are you a box of chocolates?” he asked, gravelly and suggestive.  “Because I’d love to take your top off.”  

Nesta really had the loveliest laugh in the world.  

“That’s awful!” She put her hands firm against his chest. “How did you ever get laid before I took pity on you?”  

“Um I’m gorgeous and rich,” he reminded her, both arms now caging her in.  

“What a coincidence,” Nesta purred, their noses tucked against one another just barely thanks to his date’s shoes. No doubt expensive as they were tall.  

“No coincidences here, sweetheart. This is all fate.” 

“I’m deliberately not rolling my eyes just to spite you for saying something so cliché and dumb,” she murmured.  

“Fine then. Fate and your meddling sister,” he admitted.  

“Let’s not talk about my little sister right now,” Nesta’s hands snaked up to toy with the lapels of his coat.  

“What would you rather we talk about?”  

“I don’t want to talk at all,” she whispered. And pulled him down lazily to meet her mouth.  

Cassian moulded his lips to the perfect pressure of her own. Hard and soft, her mouth like velvet and her body pressing into his tight and loose in all the right places.  

Kissing Nesta was like brushing you fingers against the glacial softness of snow like flakes of glass. Irresistible and inevitable. Burning so soft at first before the sensation grew unbearably tender and acute.  It reminded you that you were alive.  

The movements of their mouths grew hotter, no less lethargic, but simply heavier. Like they had all the time in the world and planned to exploit every second.  

So much for not into PDA, Cassian thought, as she coaxed his mouth open further with her tongue, his own slowly swiping to meet it. And he did slip his hand into her back pocket then, giving her a fond and pining squeeze which pulled her tighter into him.  

The pads of her thumbs brushed at either side of his jaw as she arched a little, those perfect tits pushed against his upper body and he dug his fingers a little more possessively into the fabric of her coat. Bunching at her waist beneath his calloused touch.  

Nesta sighed sweetly into him-  

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Cassian swore.  Tame Impala playing from his pocket.  

“Looks like I’m not the only one who likes your attention,” Nesta laughed quietly, hands smoothing back to her sides politely. The little menace. Her effortless composure all the more devastating with her mouth kissed cherry-red and pupils blown wide as saucers.  

He fished out his phone, and declined the call.  

“Well you’re the only one getting it.” 

She rose her brows as though she were impressed, winding her arms back around his neck.  

“For a man who hates games you have game, Velaris.” 

“Would you feel less wooed if I told it you was just Rhysand?” He admitted. Rejecting his busybody brother’s phone call a far less bold gesture than if it had been work.  

Nesta’s little smile was like molten satin.  

“That makes it even better,” she kissed him again.  

Cassian kissed her back through his laugh, dipping her back slightly for a more indulgent angle, her arms lacing tighter around him to hold herself up. Like he’d let her fall.  

Nesta was the one laughing now and it tasted like gelato and champagne and sunrises. He nipped at her lip as he pulled her back up with him snuggly, and she brought her hand to cup the side of his face, the other at his tapered waist.  

“I should get going,” she hummed distractedly,  hand gliding up his body like she didn’t even realise.  

Her tongue caressed his slowly before he was muttering against her, “probably”, chasing the plush heat of her mouth.  

They didn’t stop. Not even as Nesta was murmuring a disjointed, “heighten the…suspense…keep you…wanting and all that.” 

“I’m already losing interest,” he purred gruffly, their jaws knocking intimately as the kiss became hotter and fitful, short breaths and hungry mouths. Her nails scraping softly up the nape of his neck and through his hair.  

“And you’re looking for it in my back pocket, is that it?” She whispered, and Cassian gave her ass a firm squeeze as either confirmation or reprimand.  

She bit his bottom lip, the nip of her pearly teeth giving way to a sensual sort of chewing that made his eyes roll back behind closed lids and his large hands wound through her hair to guid her head back so he could take charge. Kissing her slow once again but dirtier, thorough and wanton and Nesta keened almost silently.  

“Found it,” Cassian said thickly into her mouth.  

“Want your prize?” She whispered breathlessly.  

“Yes please.” 

Nesta slid her hand between them. Fingers brushing his belt, then lower- 

Cassian couldn’t tell if he was relieved or devastated when she slipped her way inside his pocket and plucked free his phone.  

She withdrew just barely from the kiss, switched it on and turned the screen to him. The device unlocked as both his hands tucked into her pockets and her manicured thumbs were tapping away.  

Cassian brushed at the curved beam of her high cheekbone with his nose, trying to see what she was up to.  

“What are you doing?”  

“Callander says you’re free Friday. Or it did.  Now it says you have a date.” She nestled herself back into him tightly, tucking the device back into his pocket, exploiting that teasing proximity to something else entirely and driving him crazy as she grazed his mouth with her own.  

“Congratulations.” 

Cassian grinned.  

“Tha- wait just to be clear the date is with you, right?”  

 “Yes, Cassian, the date is with me,” she chuckled. “And I can’t wait,” her humming melted to something wordless and heavy as he kissed her again.  

Slow and explicit he stroked his tongue inside and he swore he felt the flutter of her lashes against his cheek.  

“Cassian,” she breathed almost silently and it burnt his lungs like freezing air.  

“Can I take you home?” Cassian whispered.  

“May I take you home,” Nesta corrected between the sinful caress of their lips.  

“Please do.” 

She was kissing the smirk off his face like she could taste how snug he was and wanted a piece of it for herself. Like she were working at a marshmallow or strawberry lathered with thick chocolate from a hot fountain of the stuff.  

“Maybe you are smooth,” she whispered and it only inflated Cassian’s self satisfaction. “But we both know I like it rough.” Ouch. “Just like we both know you’re way too exhausted to have your way with me.” 

He pulled back abruptly.  

But his mouth had barely opened to argue when she gave him a definitive “don’t”. It was little bit arousing. “You said yourself how late you’ve been working. Have you slept at all this week?” 

For all her icy glares and hellish attitude, at her core, Nesta was kind. She cared despite her pretences to the contrary and it meant she noticed things. Like how despite his lively grins, Cassian was out for the fucking count.  

“That’s what I thought. You can screw me when I know you won’t pass out before making it to third base.” 

“The only one who’d be passing out is you once I’m through fu-” 

“Save that thought for a night you have the energy to see it through,” she said.  

“But I-” 

A quirk of her neat brows shut him up.  

He growled a bitter but accepting sound. She was right, of course she was right, because she was Nesta and a Nesta was always right.  

“Friday,” he promised. “I’m gonna cook for you, something fucking romantic.” 

“More romantic than that sentence?”  

“Look I may not be Keats but I know my way round a stove, so hold all sarcastic comments until I’ve fed you.” 

“I’ll try, but I know for a fact you’re going to make that very hard.” 

“How have you already failed?” 

“Shut up,” Nesta laughed.  

“You have the sexiest fucking laugh.” 

“So you’ve said,” she blushed.  

“And I’ll keep saying it if every time I do you blush like that.” 

“Like I’m embarrassed for you?” she countered with an arched brow and a cruel twitch at the corner of her mouth.  

“You’re so mean,” he grinned.  

They made their way to the curb and hailed down a car on twelf. 

“Want me to ride with you back to your apartment?” he said, opening the back door of a yellow cab that had pulled up for her.  

“That’s sweet, but trust me, I can take care of myself,” she promised.   

“Text me when you get home safe and sound just to spite me then,” he said from the opposite side of the door.  

“I will. But you better not be awake to read it,” She gave him a lingering kiss before gracefully tucking herself inside.  

“Night, gorgeous,” he winked, and shut the door.  

Her ride had just turned onto fourteenth when Cassian decided against hailing his own despite the cold. It was only fifteen or so minutes on foot, and he could probably do with cooling down.  

Though even if he had to trek through tundra to get home he suspected he’d still find himself burning up under a cold shower in an attempt not to jack off to the thought of Nesta like a fourteen year old.  

Stuffing his already slightly numb hands into his pockets he began walking, his fingers brushing against his phone. He should probably call Rhys back.  

The phone rang for a moment before his brother picked up.  

“Did you decline my call?” 

“Yup.” 

“Bastard.” 

“I’m sure Feyre will kiss your bruised ego better,” Cassian grinned as he walked. “Along with something else so long as she doesn’t hear you’ve been calling me names,” he added slyly.  

“Are you threatening to tell on me to my wife?” Rhysand asked, a little wound up by the allusion to Feyre’s kissing certain places even if he hid it behind an unimpressed drawl.  

“Are you pretending the thought doesn’t have you quaking in your givenchy loafers?”  

“On the topic of not upsetting Feyre, she’s demanding a family dinner.” 

He laughed deeply at Rhysand’s avoiding the question.  

“That why you’re calling?” 

“Partly,” Rhys said. “Work’s been…She wants to be around family right now,” he said with an all too familiar casualness. “You free?” 

“For Feyre?” Cassian said without hesitation.  “Yeah, I’m free.” 

He would just have to pull an all nighter on the Monday. 

“Thank you. And also fuck you for implying if it was for me you wouldn’t be,” his brother said.  

“Well you called me just as Nesta was about to slip her tongue down my throat so-” 

“Nesta?” Rhys interrupted. “I thought that was over?” 

Shit.  

In all the carnage that had been the last week he hadn’t bothered letting his family know he and Nesta were back on. The woman was a touchy subject and he hadn’t had the energy or balls to get into it.  

While Rhys had been able to excuse Elain’s inactivity when the Archerons had been at their financial lowest, he’d never managed to extend that same courtesy to Nesta. Maybe it was because the first time they’d met she’d called him a cradle snatching whore. Regardless, Rhysand pretty much hated the woman’s guts, meanwhile his wife was desperately trying to lure her into the inner circle of the Velaris family.  

Cassian may have been able to bench a number higher than his IQ but he wasn’t dumb. He’d clocked on to the fact his sister-in-law was using him as Nesta bait.  In all honesty he was loving it. Nothing made him happier than helping out his family, and if that meant taking out an intelligent, passionate, stunning young woman, then really it was a double-win.  

Taking a second to grind his jaw softly he was reminded to tread carefully. Not something he generally excelled at, but for the sake of his brother he could try.  

“I know you’re not her biggest fan,” he said. “But Feyre forgave her years ago for bailing-” 

“Well Feyre’s a better person than I am.” 

“I’ll say. She set me up with a smoking hot model, meanwhile you’re trynna cock block me,” he tried.  

“You can put your dick wherever you want, doesn’t mean I have to like it.” 

“I guess not,” he ground out. Itching to hit something at the implication Nesta was just “somewhere to put his dick”.  

“Cassian if you want to date a biblical plague in human form knock yourself out, seriously, god knows Feyre will be thrilled. And Azriel, your moping-” 

“I don’t mope,” Cassian interjected.  

“Fine, your stropping-” 

“Fuck off.” 

Rhys’ laugh was about smug as the bastard’s crooning voice.  

“Mor’s gonna kill you by the way. You put a two grand dent in her wine collection over a woman you took back the next week.” 

Cassian groaned, wiping a hand over his face. The only thing worse than the hangover he’d had Monday morning would be Morrigan’s laying into him on this.  

“Don’t you dare tell her,” he warned.  

“Fine but you’ll have to do it before next Sunday, you’re bringing Nesta.” 

“Hang on a minute-” 

“Feyre wants a family dinner and if you and Nesta are back on that means she’s coming,” Rhys said.  

“Boy you are asking a lot of me here,” Cassian sighed dramatically. “I mean I can think of a few ways to persuade her but most of them are illegal in a lot of countries,” he grinned.  

“I don’t care if you have to roofie her and strap her to the hood of your car, just make sure she’s there.” 

“Alright, alright Don.” 

“Don’t call me that,” Rhys growled irritably to Cassian’s delight.  

“What else were you calling about then?” He smirked. “You said dinner was only part of it.” 

“I wanted to ask how things were going with Helion,” his brother said. “Any update?” 

Cassian sighed heavily.  

“This a secure line?” 

“Always”. 

“The hit’s Eris,” he said. “Apparently Saoirse does pretty well for herself if Helion kicks it and it’s looking like she won’t last the year. When she goes Eris takes the lot so he’s trying to take Helion out before he can change his will.” 

“That little bitch,” Rhys interrupted.  

“I’m not done. Guess who Helion might be transferring that inheritance to?” 

“Is Azriel going to finally have the funds to build that sex dungeon?”  

“Not quite,” Cassian said. “The money’s going to Lucien.” 

“Lucien?” 

“Turns out the kid’s his.” 

“Fucking hell.” 

“Seems obvious in hindsight to be honest.” 

Rhys was silent on the other end for a moment as he evidently thought through matter.   

“You said might, is he waiting on a paternity test or something?” 

Cassian winced. “No. No he’s dragging his feet about changing the will altogether.” 

“Why the fuck is he doing that there’s a bullet with his name on it!” 

“You think I don’t know that?” Cassian hissed, trying to keep his voice down. “I’m the one whose gonna have to jump in front of that bullet if he doesn’t get his ass in gear. But he…he’s losing the love of his life, Rhys. I’m trynna cut him a little slack-” 

“Slack Eris is going to have someone strangle him with.” 

“I’m handling it,” Cassian promised.  

Rhys went silent again.  

“We could always just kill Eris.” 

Cassian would have laughed at the unrestrained glee in his brother’s voice if the suggestion hadn’t been so tempting.  

“No you can’t,” he reminded him, ascending the steps to his front door.  

“Sorry, sorry, you probably want plausible deniability and all that- which is a shitty reason to leave a family business-” 

“What are you talking about? I left because I don’t like any of you.” 

“Dick.” 

“See it’s that kind of thing that made for a hostile work environment I really couldn’t foresee a future working under,” he grinned, unlocking the door.  

“You taught me words far more creative than that growing up, monte de merda-” 

“Desenmerda-te, and don’t cuss at me in Portuguese carcamano.” 

“I’m fucking Persian!” 

“Tell that to your pale ass like unbaked garlic bread, minchia,” Cassian retorted in Italian as he tossed his keys onto the skirting board and shrugged off his coat.  

“A fanabla!”  

“Love you too, tell Feyre I said hi.” 

“See you and Nesta on Sunday, I’ll text you timings.” 

“No shop talk okay, she still doesn’t know anything about-” 

“I know, I know, it’s not me you have to worry about. Feyre keeps asking me to hire her.” 

“As what? Has Cosa Nostra began dabbling in the modelling industry under your direction, baby brother?” 

“If I said yes would you come back to us?” 

“I’m a one woman man, Rhys.” 

“Jesus, it’s been less than a month.” 

“At which point you and Feyre were engaged.” 

“Nesta’s no Feyre.” 

Yeah, Nesta has enough wit about her to know you can’t go round offering Mafia jobs like candy, he thought to himself.  

“Whatever man, I’ll see you then.” 

“See you then.” 

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[kewltie]

what’s your fave flavour of bkdk — any particular AU or tropes that you have or haven’t written yet? also are there any pieces of media that you like to take inspiration from to write their relationship? i feel like you’re very consistent in the way you write them, they never feel out of character no matter what universe you put them in. it’s quite amazing!

hi anon!!

im SO sorry this is super late!!! cringes i got distracted with some stuff sorry!!!!!!! but to answer your question im kinda torn b/t domestic super close bkdk who lives together and do everything as a couple but arent a couple at all??? like that's such a vibe where you're basically living in each other pocket and doing everything that is a married couple does but the feelings hasnt caught up yet and idk i like that a lot. another flavor of bkdk that i talked about where they're super intense about each other - katsuki is all consuming and his love is an ocean w/o borders and izuku is bottomless well that katsuki can pour all his love into. it's just soooo idk intense and terrifying bc how overwhelming it it but for these two it works bc their both ppl of extreme so yea.

i think i dabbled into a lot of diff trope and AU, i try not to restrain myself on anything, but there's like two particular things i want to try but i never have the courage to bc im not smart enough to write it LMAO. i want to do a 'horror unlimited' thing idk if ppl know this but it's a very common trope in china and even in japan too where you're trap in a horror/life or death scenario where you have to play out games and do crazy stunts in order to survive. it's really interesting and very clever. i always want to try it but it takes a lot of skill and creativity to come up with the survival games for it and im not that smart LOL. maybe one day!!!! i also would love to write a crime scene/detective murder mystery thing where bkdk and their friends basically an elite unite of investigators solving serious crimes like serial killers and such. im obsessed with csi, criminal minds, and law & order so writing a fic base around that is a dream of mind but once again i dont have enough knowledge to write it but ONE DAY, ONE DAY!!!!

i dont think there's any particular media that based bkdk but i just have a very vivid picture of bkdk in my head and i staunchingly stick to it (that's why i don read bkdk anymore LMAO bc it's so severe). for me i put that in a lot of AU setting but i try very hard to keep the core of who they are like izuku being kindhearted even if i write fics where he landed in the LOV's lap and is raised by AFO, i cant see him changing his kindhearted way and it's something i work into the fic how his struggles with wanting to help ppl and wanting better for the world torn b/t knowing his father and the ppl around him are VERY, VERY BAD PPL. it's good shit lol. katsuki is similar that he's a person full of flaw and is a general prick but he's really just an awkward boy who's trying his best and he may not always be kind but he's a good boy underneath all that rough edges and that he cares more deeply than ppl realize. i try to keep that inherent 'core' of their char so even if i do funky and weird setting that seem out of place for who they are, to me they are still recognizable as bkdk so that's super important to me.

so thanks so much for saying that their char is consistent for you bc ahhh that makes me happy!!!! :DDD sorry again for the late reply and i love all your questions, they're very fun to answer.

[lucymarion]

media that i have consumed in 2022

now that i have a mind of my own, i have decided to track every single piece of media that i will be consuming in 12 months before 2022 ends! this list will contain everything that i started, finshed and currently reading/watching and my thoughts about the said thing!!!!!!! i have 2 write mos (my own summary) too ^^

shows:

1. SUPERNATURAL - 10.2021 ~

currently rewatching (1st rewatch)

my rating: 96/100

did i cry: hell yes babe tears were falling snot all over my shirt and the aftershocks were painful i was probably crying over carry on for weeks. just seeing screenshots from that episode makes me go FUCK HERE WE GO tears fall lets go :D

mos: two attractive brothers hunting monsters all over usa !!!! they have severe daddy issues that gets mended eventually as the story continues and they have this weird sexual tension between each other that WE WILL NOT BE TALKING ABOUT. they have a rebel fallen angel beside them and they are besties with the king of hell, a powerful old witch which i adore with all of my heart and God himself (pero their relationship got sour and they took his power in the end and then raised another God)

my favorite characters: sam winchester, dean winchester, castiel, crowley, rowena macleod, lucifer, charlie bradbury, gabriel, real world michael/adam, ruby

my favorite episode: season 11 episode 4: baby

-

2. DAREDEVIL - 12.2021 ~

currently watching

my rating: 74/100 (01.02.2022)

-

3. PLEASE DON’T BULLY ME, NAGATORO - 12.31.2021 ~

currently watching

my rating: 82/100 (01.02.2022)

-

4. KILLING EVE (S1-3) - 01.05.2022 ~ 01.07.2022

finished

my rating: 95/100

did i cry: nope (01.07.2022)

mos: hot russian girl is an assassin that is very good at her career meets a curly haired asian girl that works for the british intelligence. hot russian assassin thinks curly haired asian girl's hair is amazing so she stalks her and curly haired asian is obsessed with interesting crimes that hot russian assassin makes so they form an obsessive, codependent bond with each other! (01.7.2022)

remarks: when i tell you that some scenes are so fucking sensual...... like... r rated straight up copied from a branded porn with heavy storylines I SWEAR TO GODDDD . AND THEY DONT EVEN HAVE A SEX SCENE IN THIS DAMN SHOW !!! WTF!!!!!!!!! honestly i havent even started my 2022 yet im still revving up but despite that this is probably the best show i have EVER watched . but then again i always say that to ever fucking show i watch so i cant really trust my judgement LMFAO. STILL ,, its great, the slowburn and the edging they give the audience is GREAT, the way theyre always close to each other without them realizing ,,, and the outfits??? the locations?????? villanelle hot girl assassin i would pay her to kill me personally NNGDHFBFNF i love this show sm i regret not watching this sooner ^_^ (01.07.2022)

favorite character: villanelle, eve polastri, konstantin, kenny stowton, carolyn (01.08.2022)

favorite episode: it doesnt have standalone episodes so there's really nothing to rewatch on its own, but the episode that really stood up for me was 2x07 wide awake :D (01.07.2022)

my fave ep now is 3x08 (01.08.2022)

-

5. WANDAVISION - 01.08.2022 ~ 01.09.2022

finished

my rating: 91/100

did i cry: teary eyed yes haha esp dun sa scene na hinawakan ni wanda yung sirang forehead ni vision tapos sabi niya ‘i can’t feel you’ taposss when she opened the title para dun sa bahay nila vision :’D but no, no sobs, no tears fell

mos: wanda my girlfriend created a false reality and hostaged a town to escape everything that happened before endgame :D it was fun and cute until all the scary cuts and fourth wall breaks ahaha i am scarred

remarks: this just reminded me that i have to rewatch the mcu because i already forgot where some of the stones where from!!!! and it was just .. depressing. damn like seeing wanda break like that WITHOUT HER KNOWING?? thats scary. anywaze it was great i loved it i love vision hes hot ahahaha AND DARCY KNNREEBRJBAKJB luv it

favorite character: wanda maximoff, vision, jimmy woo, monica rambeau, darcy lewis, agatha harkness

favorite episode: probably episode 3 because that where it all fell down

-

6. THE VAMPIRE DIARIES - 01.08.2022 ~

currently watching

my rating: 71/100 (01.13.2022)

did i cry: no (01.13.2022)

mos: elena gilbert sad beautiful girl falls in love with a century old vampire and gets tangled with their family issues (01.13.2022)

remarks: 

favorite character: elena gilbert, caroline, bonnie, damon salvatore, stefan salvatore

-

movies:

1. TICK, TICK... BOOM! - 01.02.2022 ~ 01.04.2022

finished

my rating: 98/100

did i cry:  there was tears LMAO i was Crying like the back of my throat started aching because i watched this sa tindahan and i cant sob

mos: 29 year old jonathan larson spent 8 years writing his musical and then questions if he made the right career choice down the way

my favorite character: 

- rosa: tbh, i didnt like rosa at the start kase it felt like she was just pushing jon away LMAO but then when she gave that advice to jon she really is just that person that got cold after being in the industry for so fucking long. love that, i like her

- karessa: SHE IS SO PRETTY 

- michael: you dk how much i cried for him

-

2. ETERNALS - 01.13.2022

finished

my rating: 65/100

did i cry: no

mos: the eternals, which are superextraultrahumans made to protect humans from deviants, fight for the safety of earth and for their freedom

remarks: it was good! it was very superhero movie. its honestly a downer im not even going to try and lie here i was honestly disappointed. idk what i was expecting but it the experience wasnt that memorable

my favorite character: thena, sersi, gilgamesh

-

books:

1. CHERRY by Mary Karr - 01.02.2022 ~

currently reading

my rating: 64/100 (01.02.2022)

-

honorable mentions:

1.

[monamourbladie-mb]

Redemption - Anakin Skywalker x Reader

“If you’re up for ideas, I have one for Anakin Skywalker! The reader is under his training and they end up gaining feelings for each other. When Anakin is slowly turning to the dark side, he begins having nightmares about the future. His last dream was about the reader in TROS. In the dream, he saw that Palpatine returns and tries to lure her into the dark side. He had the same vision as Rey did when she saw herself joining the dark side, only this time, it was the reader instead of Rey. He wakes up after she says, “Don’t be afraid of who you really are.” That’s what stops him from going to the dark side.” REQ: @originalposter96

Warnings: Slight angst

Words: 2k

Extra info: The majority of this takes place in third person POV but in Anakin’s dream. On occasion it’ll be confusing cause there’s two Anakins.. one in the dream and the one dreaming it. But just keep in mind that anything italicized is the dream, and anything not is real life. italicized bold are Ani’s thoughts. I added onto the idea to include more of Ani’s downfall, so I hope it’s what you had in mind!

~*~

The Clone Wars were dark times. Death and destruction across the entire galaxy - murder and mayhem in every corner. The Jedi were doing all they could to stop the Separatists and Count Dooku, but they could only do so much.

It seemed that, almost every battle, they would lose another Jedi Master. Of course, this was painful to say goodbye to a friend and fellow Jedi, but it hurt nobody more than it hurt Y/n L/n.

Young Y/n had been trained since she was 7 years old. She was a young orphan - and her parents were criminals. To say that the Jedi saved her life was to say the least.

Her first Master, Master Yindos, was the one who originally found her. She brought her to the Jedi Temple where the Masters agreed to start her training, since the Force was so strong with her.

Sadly, when Y/n was 14 Master Yindos was killed by Dooku during the battle to rescue Padme Amidala, Anakin Skywalker, and Obi Wan Kenobi. She had to be reassigned to a new Jedi Master, Master Ornell, whom trained her until she was 17. He sadly was killed as well during the beginning Clone Wars.

Y/n felt cursed. Each of the Masters she had both met the same fate - Masters Yindos and Ornell had both died. She begged and pleaded for Master Yoda to not give her a new Master, and to let her train to join the Jedi Service Corps. Instead, he assigned her a new Master - Master Skywalker.

Although Anakin was very adamant to accept a Padawan, he eventually warmed up to her quickly and the two became inseparable. Of course, the two of them being only a few years apart in age did complicate things a bit - because both of them thought the other was very attractive.

It wasn’t until the first time Anakin saved her from dying that they realized their feelings for each other. They tried to hide them - but eventually gave up and decided to date in secret instead.

And now, for almost a year, everything was perfect. Y/n felt that the curse had been lifted and she would finally become a Jedi Knight with Anakin as her Master.

Everything had continued to stay perfect - until Anakin’s infamous nightmares started to come back, and he started to become suspiciously close with Chancellor Palpatine.

He’d lay awake at night for hours after one, trying to figure out what they meant. After his mother’s death, any dream he had he took very literal. He wasn’t going to risk any more lives if something happened in his dreams anymore.

One night, Anakin thought he was having what seemed like a peaceful dream. But it felt different. It felt... foreign. And he wasn’t sure why.

“The wayfinder has got to be here somewhere...” a foreign voice said. “I know. I just don’t know where it could be,” Y/n replied to her. Anakin turned around and saw Y/n standing with a young girl who he did not know the name of. She wore what was reminiscent of a Jedi’s clothing, so he assumed it was a Jedi.

“I think I found something,” Anakin spoke, turning back around to a hallway from the strange ruins he was at. “I’ll go down with you, Anakin. I think the command center is down that way...” the girl spoke, nodding for Anakin to come with her.

“Keep him safe, Rey,” Y/n nudged “Rey” and she laughed lightly. “Don’t worry...” she pulled out her lightsaber and Anakin’s eyes widened.

She had his lightsaber. He touched his lightsaber hilt and picked it up, realizing it was the same as his. How could she have his lightsaber?

“He’s safe with me,” she smiled and attached it back to her hip. “C’mon.”

Anakin turned to Y/n, “Are you going to be alright angel?” he asked her, afraid to leave her. She nodded, giving him a thumbs up, “I’m fine! It’s just the ruins of the Death Star, Anakin. Everyone who worked here is long dead.”

Anakin nodded and reluctantly followed Rey.

Y/n hummed to herself softly as she looked around the dark, cold ruins when she passed by a triangular object. She gasped lowly and walked forward, grabbing it from it’s invisible hold and moved it between her fingers. She grinned, about ready to shout to Rey and Anakin when she heard a lightsaber ignite. She turned around and froze still in place, barely able to believe what she saw in front of her.

She saw herself - wrapped in a black cloak wielding a dual-edged lightsaber, smirking. She twirled the lightsaber between her fingers before speaking simply, “Y/n... don’t be afraid of who you are.”

She dropped the Wayfinder and instantly brought out her lightsaber as the dark version of herself swung to attack, blocking it. The two started dueling with each other, blocking over and over until finally Dark Y/n pins the other version of her against a wall, holding the saber threateningly close to her throat.

She struggled against her grasp as a she heard the labored machine-like breathing of a dark, looking figure. He stayed hidden in the shadows behind Dark Y/n and crossed his arms, “Good job, my sweet apprentice,” he spoke lowly. “We shall take her to the Emperor.”

“Think she knows who you are yet?” Dark Y/n smirked. Y/n gulped, what if this was the Sith Lord?

“I would hope so...” he answered, walking into the light. The tall, cloaked man stood beside Dark Rey and the sight of him fully sent chills down her spine. Half of his mask was broken, revealing half of the face of the wearer. “I would hope she would know her own husband.”

Y/n struggled more and Dark Y/n pressed the saber closer to her skin, starting to burn her neck slowly, “A-Anakin-!” she shouted, completely confused as to why her husband looked like that.

“What did you do? What happened to you?!” she choked out, screaming in pain from the burning. Anakin rest his hand on Dark Y/n’s shoulder and she moved the saber away.

“Like I said, Y/n. Don’t be afraid of who you are,” she spoke again.

Instantly, Anakin’s vision began to blur. All around him the Death Star ruins began to disappear and everything became hazy, but the loud mechanical breathing of the Dark Side Anakin blared in his ears.

The sceneries quickly switched and he was on Mustafar, alongside Y/n and Obi Wan.

“I don’t know you anymore. Anakin, you’re breaking my heart!” Y/n started to cry, “You’re going down a path I can’t follow!”

“Because of Obi Wan?” Anakin replied. He was so... angry. Anakin didn’t know why, and it scared him. He hadn’t been this angry since his mother died.

“Because of what you’ve done! What you plan to do! Stop now, and come back! Please! I love you...” her voice was so broken, so worried and scared that it frightened him. What could he have done that caused her this much pain?

The Anakin that’s stood in front of her snapped once he noticed Obi Wan Kenobi from the ship behind them, “LIAR! You’re with him! You brought him here to kill me!”

“No, Anakin-“ she started to say, then she squealed when she was lifted up and started choking. “N-NO!”

Anakin tried to scream but he couldn’t. He was frozen in place watching him choke his lover.

Then, the scenery changed again, and this time he was in a metal room with robots surrounding him. Instead this time he wasn’t a spectator in the dream - he was looking through the eyes of a charred man, laying on an operating table.

Anakin tried to look around but he couldn’t - then suddenly a searing pain ripped through his entire body. He screamed and started to flail around the best he could, but he was strapped down. He was able to look down for a moment and saw his legs had been chopped off - and replaced with metal legs. His arms were both robotic, and his head felt dizzy from all the pain he experienced at once.

He felt it all - every tool drilling through his skin, every piece of charred skin being ripped off. He felt everything.

Even after that tormenting, it did not prepare him for what came next. He looked up and saw a black mask get lowered down onto him. He tried to move but he was immobile, and the mask drew closer to him.

It covered his face and before it could lock he mustered all his strength to scream out, “Y/N HELP ME!”

But it was too late. The mask sealed, and the same horrifying mechanical breathing from earlier emitted from the mask. Anakin had just become Darth Vader.

Then, as quickly as he arrived, the world around him began to disappear again. Everything grew hazy.

Anakin tossed and he turned until suddenly, “NO!” Anakin screamed, sitting up and breathing heavily. “T-that can’t be true...” he ran his fingers through his hair and sighed heavily, “i-it cant be...”

Y/n ran back into their bedroom, fixing her robe when she saw his panicked face. “Ani? Sweetheart, what’s wrong? I heard you screaming...” she walked over and sat beside him, resting her hand on his thigh gently.

He sighed heavily and pulled her into a tight hug, fighting back tears, “I know what I have to do now.” he moved away and cupped her face with his hands, stroking her cheek gently as he looked at her with a worried expression, “I know you know I’ve been different. And I’m ready to talk about why.”

“Anakin, you’re scaring me...” Y/n frowned, holding onto his hand, “Whats going on?”

“I... started to be tempted. To fall into the Dark Side,” Anakin looked down, barely able to look her in the eyes now. “Because I wanted the power to save you from dying. Chancellor Palpatine had promised me that he would teach me that power, and he revealed himself to me as being the Sith Lord. It was him the entire time...” he sighed.

“Oh my God...” Y/n was stunned, “What are we going to do? He has total power over the Senate!”

“We’ll worry about that later, my angel. What’s important right now is the fact that I was almost fully seduced to the dark side, blinded by his lies... and the dream I just had made me realize that.”

“What happened in the dream?” she scanned his blue eyes, and noticed how scared and worn out he looked.

“You and I were looking for something called a Wayfinder. We had to go to a ruined spaceship called the Death Star to find it, and we were accompanied by a young Jedi named Rey. You found the Wayfinder, and you saw an evil version of yourself. She fought you and almost...” he looked down, taking a deep breath, “she almost killed you. And then a man in a black suit came out. He was so cold... so evil,” he winced, “...and he was me.”

“Anakin-“

“Then... I-I choked you. Nearly to death. I think, I think I did kill you, actually,” Anakin gripped the sheets with his metal hand, sighing. “I cant put you through that pain to watch me turn into a monster. I won’t let myself go down that path, and you too.” he held her hands and squeezed them gently, “I love you too much to let both of us go down a dark path.”

“Anakin, I promise none of that would ever happen.” she smiled and pressed a soft, gentle kiss to his lips, “You won’t lose me to the dark side. And you won’t ever turn into a monster, Ani. I promise.”

He nodded and simply held her close to his chest, all the thoughts he had about joining the Chancellor fading away. That dream made him realize how evil the dark side really was - and all his recent dreams made sense now.

Rey was a recurring character throughout them, as were strange people by the names of Luke, Leia, and Kylo Ren. Their stories were affected by Anakin’s choice to become that man, and he was going to make it absolutely certain that he would never, ever turn into that monster.

[shakespeareismydad]

My thought process as I watch season 7 of GoT

-S07E03

-Can Cersei please shut up god, I’m so tired of listening to her talk

-Qyburn can suck a dick

-i have never hated a character more in my life

-this is painful to watch

-oh no not the ince*t, god anything but that, I’m so over it 

-STOP KISSING

-no one cares if you're the queen stop fucking your brother 

-i would love to see cersei burned by a dragon 

-brooding buddies ahaha

-this scene is so pretty, the way his cloak blows in the wind is *chefs kiss* 

-tyrion and jon interacting makes me happy 

-“are you trying to present you're own statements as wise wisdom” PleaSe 

-don’t make me think about robb and rickon PleaSe

-fucking lord baelish ugh

-sansa and her quick fire wit

-there are some chars i cant stand listening to 

-ooh is it arya, please i hope it is, 

-its bran instead oop, didn’t expect that,, hug it OUT 

-bran is so pretty wow

-this is so sweet, the way the snow enhances her hair is *chefs kiss*

-oh no is Sam gonna be in trouble for helping jorah 

-this is nice

-i hope sam doesnt get kicked out of the cidatal 

-GO SAM 

-ive heard so much about Casterly Rock and this is the first time I’m seeing it and tbh the hype wasn’t worth it 

-SECRET TUNNEL!!

-pointy stick go stabby stabby 

-FUCKING EURON AGAIN I SWEAR

-canny hack it, am not enjoying this

-for fuck sake the lannisters are at highgarden and for why

-I still don’t know if i like Jamie Lannister or not

-they aren’t gonna kill ornella, i hope not

-they really think they're gonna win how embarrassing 

-she really just drank the wine

-the fact that jamie is jofferys dad still grosses me out

-S07E04

-pretty op scene 

-Tom Hopper in game of thrones whaattttt

-Oh my god, every time i see cersei i wanna take my eyeballs out

-i don’t trust baelish with bran

-i don’t trust baelish period. 

-imagine giving a kid a dagger that almost killed him i-

-i don’t want meera to leave

--alot of people died for bran ouch 

-wait bran died, hol up, does that hes ACTUALLY the three eyed raven this time 

-ARYA JUST GOT HOME

-they better let arya in 

-Arya gone ahah

-sansa and arya moment, reunited at last

-this moment is kinda sad tbh

-this is so wholesome 

-its sad again, i wish robb and rickon were here too

-”its wasted on a cripple” i bby noo

-brans wheelchair is so nifty

-i love podrick payne

-okay but theyre outfits are kinda bomb

-thats a lot of fucking dragonglass

-secret cave what will it hold

-the children and the first men are smart 

-yess queen fight with them, wait bend the knee i- nevermind

-ion like this, does she really think he’ll bend the knee and the north folk will be happy

-what now

-oh no shes angry and doubting tyrion that cant be good 

-jon is so pretty 

-Daenerys’ shoulder broche thing is so cool, i want one

-brianne and pod training together is so nice

-im so proud of arya, what a bad bitch 

-seeing arya ad brianne train has me shook 

-”I’m a Bastard” me too jon me too

-ITS THEON I MISSED HIM

-uh-oh jon doesn't look happy to see theon

-are they gonna hug

-NO THEY ARENT FINNA HUG, pleas no fighting

-im glad he isnt killing theon

-the queen is gone?! Miss thing where did she go

-i can't get over the fact that tom hopper is in game of Thrones

-Fuck the queen especially Cersei

-its gone all quiet that means something bad is gonna happen oh no

-this shit gives me anxiety

-thats a lot of dothraki

-"we can hold them off" my guy no you cant

-she brought her dragon good luck holding them off now pahahah

-is this where jamie dies, I wouldn't be mad :|

-miss thing its over for them

-everything is going up in flames i- why are they still fight back at this point

-if ser bronn dies I'm gonna be mad

-sliced off the horse leg and for what

-deadass though if bronn dies I'm done

-i have so much anxiety oh no

-thats a big fucking arrow

-tyrion looks so sad oh no

-jamie is gonna die if he does boost soon

-I dont want the Dragons to get hurt ahhh

-i love bronn but king this ain't it

-HE HIT THE DRAGON THAT DANI IS ON I- THIS ISNT GOOD

-he blew the arrow thing up instead

-jamie leave youre going to die

-mayhe I don't want him to die just yet but he should listen to tyrion and fuck off

-ser bronn to the rescue?!?!

-im so stressed out ahaha

S07E05

-canny hack it they almost drowned

-jamie 'the twat' lennister

-tyrion walking through the aftermath makes me uncomfy, feels bad man

-dragon said rawr

-what the fuck kinda option is bend the knee or die

-tyrion murdered his dad and he'll do it again

-Just bend the knee it literally cant be that hard

-is she gonna feed them to the dragons

-oh my God she is, wait shes gonna roast them, that's definitely far worse than bending the knee

-ashes to ashes ig

-Cersei should be worried, Dani has three dragons why do they think they can win

-cersei gives me a headache

-jon is so pretty and for what

-mister dragon needs to chill

-is he gonna eat jon

-oh hes letting jon pet him alrightie

-it's kinda creepy seeing it up close ngl

-"gorgeous beast" PleaSe

-figure of speech yeah sure right mhmm

-didnt you want jorah dead like three seconds ago

-i fucking hate those ravens

-thats a big mountain

-thats a lot of dead folks oofdt

-oh sam

-hes a smart wee lad

-i hope they listen to sam, hes making very good point

-some of these measter are dickhead

-im so tired of bending this fucking knee

-what the fuck is a wet nurse

-how are you gonna bring a wight to the capital

-this is whisky business

-trusting a stranger is never a good idea but okay I guess

-the minute jon leave everyone starts shitting on him, what arseholes

-sansa is so pretty

-im so confused what is happening

- Ion like this

-oh no is jamie gonna kill tyrion

-not tyrion making jokes as if he isnt gonna die

-wheres gendry i miss him

-look at my mans I love him

-he looks so good,, look at him king shit

-pop off gendry with your big hammer thing,, I was not expecting that

-not miss thing tryna get bronn killed for betrayal i- 🤚🏾hold up

-IS SHE PREGNANT AGAIN OG MY FUCKING GOd,, shes really ginns have another ince*t baby i 💀,, cut the fkn camera

-gendry you had one job

-"youre alot leaner,, you're alot shorter" I king PleaSe pahahaha

-tyrion is so pretty

-jon you need to return cause like, I dont want you to die

-wait is sam leaving,, bye big library

-what is lord baelish up too now,, I'm sus

-only copy of what,, what is he doing

-is arya finna break into his room

-i dont like this,, he probably has whatever arya is looking for on him

-he hid it in the mattress that smart ngl

-what is lord baelish plotting,, it's making me unsettled

-"you need to convince the one with the dragons or the one with that fucks her brother" paahahah I cant pLease that's so fuunny

-tormund and jorah fight let's go

-"were all breathing" I mean ya I guess pahaha

-gendry is so pretty

S07E06

-they look so tiny against the snow

-"down south the air smells like pig shit" "you've never been down south" "I've been to winterfell" "that's the north" "pfftt" I love that whole interaction

-does tormund wanna fuck gendry i- pahahah

-hes allowed to be mad at you for selling him

-jorah and jon are having a moment bless them

-arya reminiscing about her dad is so cute and it makes me sad

-oh no they're arguing

-"beloved Joffrey" ouch

-we were getting along so well,, and lord baelish had fucked it up

-"gingers are beautiful" yes they are my guy yes they fucking are

-dws tomund what dick is 🤚🏾🤠

-uh babies tormund chill out

-the way Jon's jacket coat thing puffs out is so funny

-i really hope Jon's not in love with Dani

-cersei wants to murder alot of people

-wait why cant dani have children

-they looks like ants in the snow

-is that a polar bear,, NOT A POLAR BEAR I REPAET NOT A POLAR BEAR

-THEYVE GOT FLAMING SWORDS

-mans is gonna get eaten alive

-hes gonna die out here and he doesn't even care,, or maybe he wont die i ??????

-where did they get a flaming sword from

-lord baelish needs to stfu

-what is baelish planning

-its gone all quiet again

-jon said slice and dice

-that a loud fucking screech,, oh no I hear rumbling that cant be good

-go gendry go!!

-theyre running across a lake what if the ice breaks,,

-gendry is a fast little fuck huh

-im so stressed I dont want anyone else to die,, especially gendry

-theyre gonna freeze to death

-oh no thros froze, feels bad man

-where did he get a flaming sword,, it pretty poggers

-ive got anxiety

-not sansa going back to king's landing

-miss thing, honey, sansa it's never safe

-yall Danis coat is so pretty

-how to train your dragons type beat

-well done hound you've provoked the dead

-wheres dani and her dragons when you need her

-if tormund dies,, oh nooooo

-someone should help him

-this is so sad

-sis came through what a queen

-the king Walker is gonna throw the ice spear and kill the dragon oh naw

-the stress is coming back

-he just killed on of her dragons,, I'm so shook

-jons gonna drown

-okai hes still alive but how long still he freezes to death

-miss thing you're literally gonna freeze to death dont try to fight

-seeing uncle benjen die, saving him,, that hurted

-the CRUNCH of Jon's coat oft

-shes not gonna kill sansa right?!?

-arya gave her the dagger but now what?!?

S07E07 (this should be good)

-bronn I'm offend men with dicks are just as good with men without them

-the dothraki really just fight for fun huh

-THEON!!!!

-not the brothels 🤚🏾🥴

-the wight doesn't enjoy that box

-cersei you wont be killing anyone,, miss thing needs to SIT DOWN AND STFU

-god I don't wanna deal with any lennister,, apart from tyrion

-i love podrick

-maybe I dont like ser bronn

-im sus,, something bad might happen,, its gone all quiet

-here comes miss thing and euron

-im gonna be sick with anxiety

-does everyone just have a permanent from on their faces or what

-i hate when she speaks

-dragons as a means of travel is so handy

-ats a big fucking dragon pahaha

-constant state of stress

-euron shut the fuck up

-euron is gonna get punched in the face if he doesn't shut up

-sit down euron or fuck off

-cersei shut up for two seconds

-does whe really think the army of the dead is a bad joke,, MISS THING COME ONNN

-does miss thing believe them now after almost being attacked by a wight

-100,000 AT LEAST oh no

-euron is scared lol hes definitely gonna die

-"until the dead is defeated they are our true enemy" Miss thing we've been trying to tell you

-oop mans already been pledged and miss Cersei is pissed

-honestly fuck the Lannisters

-everyone is pissed at jon for not lying lol

-tyrion don't talk to cersei,, that's a bad idea just waiting to happen

-oh lord am stressed

[guidedbygunpla]

Gundam REDUX side story Chapter 4: Just another boy, lost in the woods.

             Char and Lalah walked for a while, mostly in silence, both of their minds clear of thoughts, simply watching the waves crash against the shore they walked along.

             “have you ever walked along a beach before?” Lalah asked, after a long while

             “no, the colonies I grew up in on side 3 didn’t have any real bodies of water, and I have mostly been stationed inland or in space up til now…..it’s nice, if I were to ever live in a colony with a  body of water, or god forbid move to earth, I could see myself building a house alongside the ocean, this is so calming”              “why would you say god forbid when talking about moving to earth, I thought that was your fathers one true wish….to move back to earth”              “it was, he always…..wait, my father?”              “you can’t hide things from me, I can read your mind after all. It’s alright though I won’t tell anyone about it, I realize you have to keep this mask on in order to protect me, and save those girls in the lab. Sorry I should’ve told you I was probing your thoughts”              “…well, yes you should’ve, but now that its out there in the open, yes it was my fathers dream that humanity would get to come back to earth, but we can’t. most of the globe is just salt water and sand at this point, the colonies were built as a cage, but the world outside of the cage is so much worse now then when we were put into that cage. Every cylinder on a colony can grow enough food to feed 150% of its population, the earth….I doubt it could grow enough for even 30% of the people living out there now.”              there was another long pause as they stared out at the ocean, the body of a zaku floated into view, its paint peeling off, and the high carbon steel below showed through, rusted and destroyed, likely the only thing keeping it afloat was the helium stored in its tanks that had failed to explode or leak out              “so you know my real name then, don’t you Lalah”              “yea, Casval…..your father was named Zeon, at least that’s the name you know he was given when he helped found the Contolist Church. Something about hot water and wine”              “old catholic ideas mixed with space age realities.”              “he called you Cassie, and he called your sister Arty. I like those names” Lalah said as she turned and looked at Char, her green eyes looked other worldly on her, as if she was looking into his very soul, which she kind of was.

             “so you know everything about me then huh…and yet I know nothing about you, seems a tad bit unfair” Char said as he reached up and took his helmet off, and his visor along with it, the world looking far brighter, and far more real without the rose tinted glasses

             “well….what do you want to know? I don’t mind telling you about myself, but where should I start?”              the pair of them followed the beach into a small sea side town, or the remains of one. The town looked to have been abandoned in a hurry, with cars still sitting along the road, and doors to homes and shops hanging open.              “well, where did you grow up? When did you learn about your powers? How’d you find yourself out here? If you don’t mind me asking of course” Char asked, his voice cautious

             “well, I grew up in Hyderabad in India. My mother was an Arcologist working with the local colleges Colonial science division and my dad was a politician, nothing huge though, mostly just treasury work”              “ah the earth born elite, must’ve been nice”

             ���ha… it was awful, so many responsibilities. I just wanted to live, but it was always you have to go to your violin lesson Geetika, you have to go to your cram classes Geetika, you have to be home by 4 Geetika, your GPA is getting too low again Geetika. I hated it…I just wanted to be free, to explore. My parents didn’t understand it.”

             “Geetika? Is that your real name?              “yes, I was born Geetika Acharya Prasanna.”

             “so where did Lalah come from, I’m assuming you know where the name Charles Aznable comes from, but where did Lalah Sune come from?”              “ do you mind if we go for a drive? My feet are getting awfully tired” Lalah said motioning towards a derelict car that was sitting alongside the road. It was a small orange convertible, sporty, something that would’ve cost a lot of money.              “fancy….but I should mention, I have no idea how to drive” char said running his hand through his hair with a laugh.

             “oh right, you always had a driver, so you never had to learn to drive anything other than a mobile suit. Don’t worry I can take care of that” Lalah said as she opened the door and reached below the dashboard, below the steering wheel and began to muck about with the wiring harness to the car, until eventually the engine sputtered to life, the smell of burning ethanol filling the air              “what is that smell?” Char asked aloud              “its alcohol, have you never been around a car before?” Lalah said, patting the passenger seat              “well of course I have, but in the colonies theyre all electric, makes more sense, since you live in something covered in solar panels “              “well on earth we run cars off of alcohol” Lalah said as she put the car into gear and took off down the road through this old seaside town

“makes sense I suppose, it is flammable, and the sound the engine makes is quite pleasant” Char said setting his helmet and Visor in the footwell next to his feet and trying to relax as Lalah drove

“lords above, you can really tell just how high born you are sometimes Casval” Lalah said

with a laugh “so yea, I changed my name to Lalah Sune when I ran away from home, I didn’t want my family to be able to find me, I really just wanted to be left alone. There was a movie out at the time, Farewell Summer, and the lead actress in it was named Lalah Sune, I thought it was a nice name, so I took it. What we’re your other questions again?” Lalah asked as she pulled onto the on ramp to one of the old highways that snaked across the American west.

             “well when did you learn about your powers?” Char asked as he sat back into the plush suede seats of the convertible              “I think I always knew, when I was a kid I told doctors that I heard voices, that it was hard to think sometimes because it was so loud in my head, they thought I was crazy. Put me on medication after medication to try to fix it, I’d say I was about ten when I realized I could sort of control it by focusing on one or two peoples thoughts and then I would only hear those few voices, and when it was with people I loved, people I wanted to spend time with, it got much easier. It wasn’t until I met my first real boyfriend that I realized I was genuinely hearing their thoughts. I realized I could hear what he thought of me, and see what he fantasized about….it was quite freeing, knowing how much someone loves you, understanding them completely like that”

             “ugh, I’m not sure I could handle knowing what the people I’ve been with through the years thought of me. I’d feel so exposed” Char said laying his head back into the seat, watching the sky fly past over head as the sun began to set across the sea

             “well I mean, you’ve only ever loved Garma and another boy from when you were much younger right?”

             “I always feel bad that I can’t remember his name, he was my first kiss and I cant recall his name for the life of me. It was on a scout outing, my first real taste of life outside of Zeon and its trappings, no one treated me like royalty, I was just another boy in the woods. He told me he liked my eyes, and then he kissed me when the camp counselors were away….”

             “that’s why you fell in love with Garma right? Because when you saw him at your fathers funeral, he looked like the boy right? Same jet black hair, with the little curls in it?”

             “god there really are no secrets with you are there?….well yea, Garma looked like him sure, and he treated me the same way too, like I was just another boy lost in the woods. It was hard not to fall in love with him”

             “it is a shame you had to kill him, I can tell that thought is weighing heavily on your soul. But you felt you had no choice….couldn’t let your fathers ghost watch you become a member of the family that killed him….I am sorry you went through all of that Char.”

They stopped the car, as the road ahead of them was smashed and destroyed, a body of a Gouf lay shattered across it, oil and reactor coolant pooling up on the road ahead of them

             “thank you Lalah, it means a lot.”              “you saved me from a laboratory where every person in it would think about slicing my head open to see what was inside, like I was a pinata. I owe you more thanks than I could ever give.”              “I did the only moral thing” Char said turning to look at her, her green eyes again looked as if they held the entire cosmos within them

             “so often in war we want to be the moral and upstanding person, but within your heart I see that you know you cant always be right, that sometimes you have to be evil so that the right thing can be won out.” Lalah said as she turned the car around and headed back towards the flanagin institute and the Gow Char had come in on

               “so where will you go now? Now that you are free?” Char asked her

             “I will follow you Char, I know if I leave your side, my powers will be discovered again, and next time they might not take so much time to study me.”              “of course.”

 _______________________________

When Char returned to the flanagin institute he found Dozle was quite upset with him having broken Lalah out, saying that she was going to be a vital part of their newtype weapons program. Char informed him that he was going to train Lalah to be a pilot, and this calmed him somewhat. When char broached the question of the clones in the basement, and if he knew whose children they were, Dozle simple said

             “in war, sacrifices have to be made, and some men are strong enough to make that sacrifice.”

Char knew then that Dozle knew they were Gihrens children, he knew. He just chose to accept it as it was, as a fact of the world. An evil that had to be committed so that the right thing would win out in the end. No different to Dozle than killing Garma had been to Char. What a twisted world this had become Char thought to himself.

             He took Lalah aboard the Gow, and to his quarters, as an officer he had a private cabin, nothing outlandish. But he did have a private bedroom. Living quarters with a kitchenette and a bathroom to himself. He insisted on a second bed be brought in for Lalah, so she didn’t have to be near the common soldiers they were transporting as well.

             “I hope this is alright with you Lalah” Char said as they wheeled the spare bed into his quarters

             “oh its much better than I expected, in the institute I was kept in a padded cell, so this is definitely a step up” Lalah said with a laugh

             “I know this goes without saying Lalah, but everything we discussed today, no one can..”

             “remember, Char I can read your thoughts, I can see everything your minds eye can create. It’s fine, all your secrets are safe with me.”

             “right, of course. If you’d like I could go check with some of the female crew onboard, see if I could get some spare clothes for you, I think the only thing you took with you was that yellow dress”

             “that won’t be necessary, I typically just sleep nude. Growing up in india, sleeping nude in front of a fan was typically the only way to feel cold enough to sleep” she said with a side eye to Char, as small smile on her lips

             “oh….of course, well I will make sure to knock before leaving my room to come out here into the living area then, so as not to disturb you” char said looking away sheepishly

             “are you bothered by this Char? I know you find me attractive, and surely you can tell, even without the ability to read minds that I clearly think highly of you” Lalah said as she walked towards Char and wrapped her arms around his neck. Char felt himself expanding, his mind growing larger than his head, the walls around him disappeared, all he could see was swirling dust and stars, it was like he was floating above the milky way itself, the sounds of the waves crashing, and the feeling of floating at sea.

             “there is nothing to fear Char, I can feel you in ways that I have never felt a man before, you are a Newtype like me, we just need to unlock your powers, I can help you do that”

             “Lalah I don’t know what I am feeling right now, this is quite overwhelming”

             “we are melting into one another, our minds are becoming one, isn’t it a wonderful feeling Cassie”

             “it feels like I’m going home, I feel welcomed, I feel whole”

             “Char if you want me to stop, please just tell me….but I can tell you want this too, something inside both of us craves this”

             “I do, but Lalah, I’ve never, I mean….I’ve only ever been with Garma, I’m not sure I’ll know how to”

             “you are inside of my mind now Char, you’ll know”

               The world was a blizzard, a fire, a tropical storm. Small masses swirled dust around them until a planet formed from them. Humanity was formed, and they explored every inch of this ball of dust, until they could only explore what was above them, they saw the stars they saw the heavens. They touched the very face of god.

             Waves crashed, and Char felt his consciousness expand more and more. He could feel what lalah felt, he could see time, he could see the past, he could see the future, he could feel what had happened, what would happen. Lalahs third eye guiding him. He saw Lalah and him, in a small farm house on side 6, he could feel there was a family inside that house, that love would blossom in that small farm house.              was this his future?

                           Was he falling in love with Lalah?

Was this his past?

                                                         Was this a home his mother and father had shared before Zeon?

             He felt waves crashing as he made love with Lalah, it was different than making love to a man. But not wildly so, he had never imagined falling in love with a woman, he had never imagined himself falling in love for that fact. With Garma he always felt a pang of guilt when they were intimate, as Char knew how this was going to end. With Lalah he still felt guilt, but it was because of Garma, that if his fathers religion was right, Garma was likely watching him right now, making love to a woman less than a week after he had killed him.

             Garma didn’t deserve that, and Char didn’t deserve this

                           He heard Lalahs voice in his mind

                                         This is Life, none of us deserve it. It is a gift. And a curse. But we are different we aren’t tied to life the same way as others, our minds are free of it

               Char then found himself making love to Garma, they were both older, and there was a large bay window in the room, overlooking the Californian beaches he had seen earlier.              there were photos on the wall, Char in a tuxedo, and Garma in a white Zeon dress uniform, just covered in medals. A Contolist priest behind them.              was this a world where they had won the war? A world where Garma and him had married?

What was happening?

               He found himself now, a teenager, riding horses through the woods, the boy from camp was there with him, along with Garma, and a teenage Lalah, all riding horses through the forests of Side 3. The horse he rode on was familiar, it was Honeydew. His horse from childhood, She was okay, she was alive. She was fully grown

               “Lalah what are you showing me?” He asked concerned, this was terrifying, and wonderful

“as newtypes, we aren’t tied to reality the same as other people, when we’re together we can experience any reality we want”

He felt his mortal body climax, somewhere in the wake of this all, in the very distant part of space where surely his human form still lay, making love with Lalah

Char felt his body shrinking, he lay now as a baby, laying in his mothers arms as she rocked him, and sang to him, trying to help him sleep.

             He felt the world shrinking too, as he came back into his own body, Lalah held him, as he regained some semblance of consciousness.

             “I am sorry if that was overwhelming, I have never been intimate with another person like myself before, I wasn’t aware it would be so powerful.” Lalah said as she craned Chars lips to hers, kissing him softly

             “were those just fantasies? Or was any of that real?” Char asked as he sat up, he realized they were laying in his bed, and judging by the clock on his night stand they had made love for about 3 and a half hours.

             “I don’t entirely know, I know anytime I’ve made love I’ve ended up there, and when I was at Flanagan there would be times when I spoke with those experiments, I would feel my mind begin to expand the same as it did during the beginning throughs of passion, but I have only ever met 3 people outside of Flanagan like myself, and you are the first of them that I have ever made love with. I would occasionally feel my mind expand around the others, and moments where our minds would meld and we would fall into that place, where it feels like you’re in outerspace, but never like that, where we saw other worlds together.”              “I need you to teach me how to use this power Lalah, I want to be able to control it, I want to explore all of those places again” Char said as he kissed Lalah again

               “of course, I owe you more thanks than I could ever give”

[narnie3313]

Let Me Burn-Chapter 3

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Romance, Eventual Smut

Warnings: Language, Violence, Explicit,etc….

Summary: The moment you saw those piercing eyes in the corner of the club, you knew you were hooked. There was never a question about it…You knew this man would burn you, yet you embraced the flames.

Pairing: Dabi x reader

Chapter 1  |  Chapter 2  |  Chapter 3

Grabbing your wrist and pulling you from the chair, he leads you into the large kitchen.  

“What do you want to eat?” He asks, standing you on the other side of the kitchen island as he walked around to the stove and began pulling pots out of the cupboard beside him.

“Um…I don’t know? I eat kind of everything but I’m not hungry.”

“You have to eat. I didn’t see you eat at the club and that was over 6 hours ago now so I’m sure you’re hungry but just got distracted by the ……events…of tonight.”

6 hours? Shit, what time is it? You turn around to look out the floor to ceiling windows lining the apartment. The faintest break of light on the horizon signalling that he was indeed right and it was dawn. In under 12 hours your whole world had been flipped…but…had it really? He said you could go home, back to your normal day to day. But you didn’t really want that did you? You liked the excitement, the fear of the unknown. It was like a drug. You knew you should turn around, say thank you and bye to the man behind you, but you just….couldn’t. What would going back do? You’d continue your life of work, eat, sleep, drink and repeat while knowing that there was a whole other world around you that could offer you excitement. Could you pretend not to know about it? Could you pretend like this guy wasn’t going to be in your mind constantly? You barely knew anything about him but you couldn’t walk away from him. Why? What was it about him?  

“Did your mother teach you to cook?” You ask, turning back to lean on the bench, watching Dabi expertly flipping vegetables in a wok.

“No. My mother wasn’t really that kind of person. She tried to be but my father kind of broke her.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You notice that his expression doesn’t falter at all except a slight twitch of…anger?...when he mentions his father.

“Why? Were you around influencing those situations?”

“Well no but I’m sure that those kinds of situations aren’t easy on kids.”

“They weren’t but I survived. I came out the other side of my father with a new purpose. A new outlook. One that not a lot of people share. That’s why I joined the group I did. A lot of them share the same views.”

“And what view is that?” You ask curiously.

“That, dollface, is a question for another day.” He says turning around and emptying the wok into 2 bowls. He slides one and a pair of chopsticks to you and you thank him, taking a seat and beginning to eat. “What about you? What do you do?”

“I’m a personal assistant. Nothing exciting but it pays the bills.”

“Who to?”

“Hmm?” You hum questioningly, pushing the food around with the chopsticks.

“Who’s personal assistant are you?” He asks, placing food between his bi-coloured lips.

“Yori Kondo. He’s the CEO of Kondo electronics. I’m the senior PA but I also have a relief PA who does the job for me when I take time off or have my days off, like tomorrow. Well,” gesturing to the dawn light streaming through the windows, “I guess today.”

“So you don’t work today?”

“No. I have Saturday and Tuesdays off most weeks unless someone is sick and needs me.”

“Sounds like a good job.” He says as he finishes his food. Turning his head, he cocks a brow at you, noticing you’ve barely eaten. “You really should eat.”

“Oh…yeah.” You say and start eating and resume talking between mouthfuls. “It’s not a bad job. The boss does have a bit of a temper but I guess that’s normal in a high stress position.”

Dabi washes his bowl and puts his hand out to collect yours when he notices you’re finished.

“Ok. So, what now?” You ask nervously.

“Well I don’t know about you but I’m tired so I plan on going to sleep. You know where the tv is and the kitchen and bathroom. Feel free to explore…or leave. It’s up to you really.” He speaks as he moves from across the counter to walk behind you, stopping and placing an absurdly warm hand on your hip. He leans down and kisses your neck and you can’t stop the moan that leaves your lips and you close your eyes as a reflex as his lips graze your skin up to your earlobe and feel his tongue flick at your ear. “Or you could come to bed with me, princess.”

Oh the things you wanted this man to do to you. The shivers that were sent through your body at the nickname that just rolled off his tongue and the heat of his breath joined by the cold of his piercings. This guy will be the death of me for sure.  

Turning around and sliding off the chair with your hand on his chest, you lean up and kiss his neck. Two can play this game. “As tempting as that is, the answer is no.” You say and begin walking to the lounge room to turn on the tv. You don’t dare turn around to see the look on his face as you sit down on the couch and flick the tv on. You hear his slow steps as he saunters off into the bedroom pushing the door closed. Sighhh. It’s been so long and he’s so damn alluring….Giving yourself a pat on the back for your restraint, you flick through channels until you land on a news outlet reporting on the club.  

“Reports say that at around 5am this morning, a passerby noticed the charred insides of this prestigious nightclub through the destroyed door. No one knows exactly what happened but it seems that the fire that was inside burned at temperatures in excess of 1500 degrees Celsius. It is presumed to be the work of a notorious villain gang, the name of which is still unknown but fits the M.O. More information to come.”

You switch the tv off and sit there hugging your knees to your chest. Why can’t you bring yourself to go? You know you should. He’s dangerous. He’s almost definitely killed people. There’s no way he hasn’t if he’s in a villain gang. He didn’t even know you and yet he excluded you from the attack. No matter what he says, he could be crazy. He could be keeping you as a plaything. He could be keeping you to hostage you or torture you. None of this makes sense. Why was he so magnetic to you? It was like something had changed your perception of him, but how? Why? That’s not his quirk so it couldn’t have been him. But why would he even go to lengths like that for someone he didn’t know at all? Was he feeling the same thing? Sure he flirted with you and given the chance, you’re positive he would plow you into the nearest surface, but was he feeling the same pull to you as you are to him? Or did he just want to keep you around to dick you down?  

Shaking your head to clear your thoughts you stand and walk to the kitchen. Searching every cupboard until you find a glass, you fill it with water and drink. Thinking about this is hurting my head. You rinse the glass and place it on the white bench top and walk towards the window facing the bright city. You can spot a few signs that you recognize meaning you would be able to find your way to them and then find your way home since you’re sure since this part of town is so empty, there’s a slim to none chance there’s any taxis around. Even if you cant bring yourself to leave him, you need some stuff from your apartment…like your own clothes. You grab your bag and head towards the door. I’ll be back before he even wakes up. I’m sure he won’t mind me leaving the door unlocked so I can get back in. You click the ground floor button as you enter the elevator and wait out the dings of every other floor before coming to a stop as the doors open. You walk out the same side door you’d come in and head out to the street. Turning around to take note of the address, what the building looked like and how to get back to here, you begin walking in the direction of the city. You had somewhat mapped out the neighbouring blocks from Dabis place so you could find your way.  

***

Opening the door to your apartment felt…odd. Less than 12 hours you’d been at Dabis and it already had you feeling like nowhere else was home anymore. This is fucking crazy. What the hell is happening to you? You try to ignore the web of thoughts in your brain and head to your bedroom to pack a bag of clothes, get changed and pack your toiletries. Once that was done, you went to the kitchen to grab your medications and your expensive teas. Just one of your little guilty pleasures. Like hell I’m leaving them. Shoving them in the packed duffle bag, you head back out to the street and call a taxi to take you back to Dabi. Dabis apartment….not the man…just the apartment.  

***

Walking back into Dabis apartment, you gently placed your duffle bag on the ground near the door and walked into the kitchen to find Dabi sitting at the breakfast bench with his head in his hands. The trip to your place had taken a little longer than planned and it was now just after 10am. When he heard your footsteps round the corner, his head shot up, eyes wide as he drank in the sight of you like he hadn’t seen you in years. He begins to speak, his tone different than you’d heard just hours before.  

“I thought you must have left.”

Has he been sitting here since I left? Did the elevator wake him…?

You suddenly feel self conscious and cross one arm across your body and hold your elbow. “I did. I went to my place to get some clothes and stuff.”

“….I didn’t think you’d come back.”

You take a few silent steps towards him. “Why?”

“Why what?” He says, standing up, not taking his eyes off you.

Taking a few more steps towards him, “Why did you think I wouldn’t come back?”

He closes the distance between you with 2 large steps and stands as close to you as humanly possible without touching you and looks down at you. “Because you know who I am. Most people would have ran to the cops.”

Looking up to those same entrancing eyes, “Well I didn’t.”

“That’s what makes you so intriguing.” He leans down and places his lips on your hairline, then, all too soon, walks off behind you and back into the bedroom, pushing the door almost closed behind him.

What the hell just happened….? Was he…scared? …..What…. For the hundredth time in the last few hours, you’re confused yet again.

Author Note: Well...that’s chapter 3! I hope you enjoyed! I’m working on Chapter 4 now and should have it done in a few days! 

[cutismaximus]

Upcoming War ~ j.jk

《Plot: Relations between Vampires and Humans are at it’s peak as people begin to appear with puncture wounds in their necks. But of course someone’s trying to stop it but their are two sides to every story.

《Pairing: Vamp! Jungkook x Reader

《Trigger Warnings: Blood, Death, Swearing (more will be added later)

MASTERLIST

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 , Part 5

Part 4

"What are you exactly?” I mumble quietly, dreading the answer I longed for. "I don't know what your talking about Sweetheart." He smirks watching the road. "In the alleyway those things. Vampires right?" The man breaks into a huge laughter, keeping his hands on the wheel steadily. "That was a funny one. Those little shits could never be one of us." "Wait so you're a Vampire. And by us you mean the coven.”

The man shuffles slightly "Yes I am what humans call a Vampire." I nod moving away from him slightly. "So then what were those things tha-" "I would have to go into a whole history story for you Sweetheart." My anxious hands grip tightly on to the seat belt.

"Please just tell me." I see him look between me and the road with a look of uncertainty. "Being a Vampire we have an initiation. When one of us turn 21 we have an option to join the coven that we please, as well as choosing the side of greed or the side of good."

"Once a Vampire chooses to side with their bloodlust. They go through a change. The major ones being their eyes turning red and their fangs becoming animalistic. Those that choose the path of good have a surge of power which mostly comes with gifts.” I nod taking in the information "If you guys are so powerful why don't you extinguish the greedy vamps?" The man grimaces slightly at my choice of words. "They are called Avarus Sanguine. The reason as to why we cant kill them is because it will only cause another war."

"Are you trying to tell me that World War three was caused by the Avarais Tangerines?" I lean forward in my seat. "Avarus Sanguine. And yes. They had gone hay wire attacking villages and exposing part of the supernatural world to the mundane. Demonbreds were fighting against them trying to control the situation but the humans got involved in a war they weren't prepared for. Calling the Avarus Sanguine, Vampires as if they even deserve the same name as us."

I feel his riaing temperment as his hand grips the wheel. "Then what are Vampires beside crappy movies and angsty men that sparkle?" I try to calm him with my sorry attempt for a joke but it seemingly works. "Our covens are protecters of human kind. We are their last defence." This quips my attention "Last defence against what?"

"The end of all." He stares at me blankly as he stops at a red light. "What does the end of all have to do with me?" I ask feeling a chill of fear and anticipation down my spine. "I'm not sure yet but theres this scent to you. It's so strong I can practically taste it. You're special."

I smile slightly at his evaluation but it quickly dissapears "so what are you gonna give me a gold medal?" "You don't deserve a gold medal Sweetheart." I smile fakely this time as it truly dawns on me the love of my life is dead and now instead of mourning I'm trapped in this whole supernatural situation that led me to being in a car with a literal stranger that just killed some Tangerines.

My breath begins to quicken before I realize and I feel like my heads about to explode as there's a new intake to sound around me. I hear every part of the car radio tuning in and out mixing with the sound of a thumping engine, Jungkooks steady breathe flutters against my ear. Car horns blare throughout my mind as I shut my eyes tight my teeth char together as they immediately begin to pain me. “Stop” I scream out and it’s as if time pauses for a millisecond my eyes catch with Jungkooks which have turned yellow, Breaking eye contact as the car comes to an alarming stop.

I shake my head staring at Jungkook in anger “I wasn’t talking to you, keep driving.” I look at him intently as he doesn’t continue only staring past me into the distance. “What are you-“ I turn my head slowly in the direction that Jungkook is looking to see a truck covered in mist about to ram into us. I squeeze my eyes shut as I brace for impact but it never comes.

"What the fu-"