#and anyone up for some mutual tit sucking

[infinitemess]

the answer to my previous question is “less than an hour”, apparently

[rinhaler]

Rin Itoshi and female s/o taking each other first time

omgggggg i tried to make it romantic and sweet but i do love a slutty ass dude who's in control so apologies if this isnt exactly what u wanted hehe

warnings: 18+ MDNI, fem!reader, virgin!rin, virgin!reader, fingering, best friends to lovers, mutual pining, tit sucking, "just the tip" pfft, slight manipulation, brief condom use, premature ejaculation, creampie.

words: 2.9k

Your heart races as you watch Rin scroll through his phone and find some music to play. He looks so serious, though that’s nothing new. You don’t dare speak, worried you’ll say the wrong thing if you do. He looks up at you, briefly, offering a weak smile before looking through his phone again.

“We don’t have to do this, you know.” he tells you without even looking at you. You watch him as he starts hooking up his phone to the Bluetooth speaker in your room, and you shuffle uncomfortably on top of your bed.

“I want to… ‘m just scared.” you confess, breath shaking slightly as you exhale. “Do you still want to?” you wonder, feeling shy as you ask. You’re sure he wouldn’t be here if he didn’t want to, though.

Rin doesn’t do anything he has no interest in.

“Yeah.” he tells you, setting his phone down before looking back at you, finally. He’s so far away, it feels too formal. Though you assume he wants to set the pace and make sure everything is comfortable for you both before you proceed. “We agreed,”

“I know.” you nod, recalling the moment you decided as teenagers to give each other your virginities if you hadn’t lost them after you turned twenty. “Just checking.”

The concept of Rin being single, let alone a virgin, is something you can’t even begin to comprehend. You’ve been best friends with him since you could talk. You remember him having no interest in you until you forced your way into playing soccer games with him and his brother. You soon gave it up once you got what you wanted, but you’ve been inseparable ever since.

Girls have always thrown themselves at Rin, but he never cared. Not really. You remember him having one girlfriend and it never went anywhere. It only lasted three weeks. He told you the gory details of their sex lives, though. Only because you asked.

It didn’t go past hand stuff.

“I brought condoms.” he tells you, pulling a box from his bag and setting them down on the desk he’s sitting by.

“I- I’m on the pill.” you respond. “I heard it feels better without… those. But we should use them.”

“Okay, yeah.” he agrees.

“… but we don’t have to.”

“I’ll use one.” he assures you, not wanting to make you feel pressured to go raw for his benefit. Though you’re sure it would be for yours, too. “If you want me to take it off, I can do that.”

You nod, agreeing.

“This is so…” you think, searching around the room for any inspiration of a descriptor to use. He stares at you, intently, wondering what you might say. He’d never tell you, but he’s just as nervous as you are. Of course he has an edge of experience ahead of you, but he’s still clueless. He wants to make sure this is going to be nice for you.

Perfect, if possible.

“What?”

“Formal.” you shrug.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” he responds, scratching his neck as he thinks about what you told him. He looks around, feeling a little too awkward to make eye contact. “I just want to make sure everything’s going to be okay…”

“It’s fine, you’re right.” you smile, “I just thought my first time would be… romantic. It’s stupid, I’m sorry.” you shake your head, dismissing the idea.

You knew you’d end up here with him eventually. You had no intention of losing your virginity to anyone else, after all. You’ve been in love with him for years, and finding out he got a girlfriend almost killed you. It was hard hearing about how they became intimate, but you were so fucking relieved when they broke up.

He only decided to get a girlfriend because he thought you weren’t interested in him, though. You’ve always been a forbidden fruit he wouldn’t dare try to cross a line with. You’re his best friend, after all. He wouldn’t want the romantic feelings he has towards you to ruin that.

“It’s not stupid.” he assures you. “Here, pick some music.” he hands you his phone.

You start to scroll and realise you’re looking on a playlist he created aptly named sex playlist. It makes you giggle, but you don’t comment. And you don’t pay him any mind as he leaves the room while you continue searching for a song.

The boy has good taste, you soon realise.

He comes back a few minutes later with some candles from a nearby cupboard. He knows you too well. You hoard them, you always have. You get an abundance each year for Christmas and rarely use them. He starts lighting them and placing them around the room.

You finally look up as he turns the light on, the room dimly lit by the burning flames scattered around.

“Is this better? I should have gotten some rose petals or something…”

“N-No, this is fine.” you smile, “Thank you, Rinnie, this is nice.”

He clears his throat and sits beside you on your bed. You quickly hand him his phone, prompting him to lean over to place it back down on your desk.

Your heartbeat begins to increase rapidly as he faces you. You haven’t even so much as kissed before, let alone what else will follow. He reaches out to caress your face, and it takes all of your willpower to not flinch.

“R-Rin… do you, um, d-do you watch…”

“Porn? Yeah. Do you?”

His reply makes your face flush with heat and the thought of confessing your own truth makes you even hotter. You look away from him, twiddling your fingers in your lap and looking at those instead.

“I know it won’t be like that… it’s your first time. And mine.” he reminds you.

He’s always been so mature. And you’re glad he’s doing all he can to put you at ease. He puts a finger under your chin, forcing you to look up at him again. You gulp, nervously, before nodding. He smirks at that.

“Good, I’m glad,” he tells you, beautiful jade eyes flickering with flames as he stares at you. “Means you know what you like.” he leans into you, an attempt to kiss which you immediately back away from. And you apologise, profusely, assuring him that you’re still a little nervous.

“I— I know guys can, you know, it can be quick… s-so don’t feel bad.”

“Don’t worry about that.” he shakes his head. “If I cum quickly, I’ll make sure you finish.”

He closes the distance between the two of you, his lips planting softly on your own. His eyes close as he loses himself to it, though you keep yours open for a little while as you process what is happening.

You’re making out with your best friend!

Though when his large, dominating hands begin to fondle your chest, you pull away entirely.

“Sorry, did I hurt you?” he wonders.

“N-No, I didn’t expect you to be so confident.” you whisper, and he kisses you again, smiling into it.

Your eyes close as you allow him to continue locking lips with you. His hand entirely gropes one of your tits and his thumb casually strokes over it. Even through the layers of your crop top and bra, you find yourself mewling softly.

He smooths his hand over the curve of your waist until he reaches the bottom of your crop top. His fingers breach upwards towards your bra, roughly groping at it and the fat of your tits.

“O-Ow.” you speak, softly.

“Sorry,” he whispers back, “Can I take your top off?” he asks between continuous kisses.

“Uh-huh.” you nod, dumbly.

He breaks the kiss to quickly pull your crop top over your head. His lips attach to yours again almost instantly as he starts to fiddle with your bra. He stops kissing you, again, to look over your shoulder so that he can undo the clasp. You gasp when he finally unhooks it, keeping the pink material against your chest to preserve your modesty.

“Can I see?” he asks, his eyes moving between yours and your hands. You hum, nervously, but nod. He helps you pull down your straps as you keep the material held firmly against your chest. Sighing, slightly panic in your voice as you strip the material away. “Fuuuuck…” he mutters to himself, adjusting his hardening cock in his pants as he looks at you.

“You should take something off.” you suggest before he can kiss you again. He immediately pulls his t-shirt over his head, tousling his hair back into place right after.

You continue to moan against his lips when he kisses you again. And they only get louder as he kisses down your neck whilst flicking his thumb over your pebbled nipple. He grunts against your skin, battling on whether he should say something to you or stay silent.

He’d hate to ruin the mood.

“Are you hard yet?” you ask him, your shy demeanour leaving you as you lose yourself to the sensation of his hands caressing your body. “S-Should we do it?”

“Wanna feel?” he asks, not waiting for an answer as he pulls your hand towards the bulge in his jeans, moaning immediately from the contact. “Look what you’ve done to me.” he laughs, pulling you closer and hooking one of your legs over his own.

He scratches the back of his nails up your thigh, stopping just short of dipping under your skirt as you shiver from the touch. His eyes find yours, kissing you reassuringly.

“Can I feel you?” he wonders, and, of course, you nod. His fingers disappear under your pleated skirt, quickly cupping your panty-clad mound. He barely gasps when he comes into contact with your panties. “You’re so wet…”

“S-Stop…” you reply, shyly, “s’embarrassing…” you tell him.

“You need to be wet for me,” he responds, that big, logical, brain of his immediately putting you in your place. Reminding you that he is the one with a little more experience and you need to listen to him. “You’ll be so tight… even for a finger.”

He forces your body down, flat against the bed and flips up your skirt. The cute triangular shape of your panties makes his cock throb, and he moves them into the crease of your thigh.

“Tell me if it hurts…” he requests, staring into your eyes as deft fingers come into contact with sopping flesh. He runs them through your folds, and you jolt when a finger tip grazes your clit. He moves it towards your hole, slowly teasing around it before pushing in. He stops, quickly, when you yelp. “Sorry, I’ll go slower. Hold onto me.” he instructs, a hand wraps around his bicep and squeezes as he continues to plunge his longer finger deep inside.

“Kiss me,” you whimper, pathetically. He drops his head so that your lips can meet again. He devours the moans and cries you emit as he curls his finger in and out of you. It feels odd, but not unpleasant. It’s still painful but it begins to subside.

“Gonna add another, okay?” he asks, and you nod. You hiss, instantly, hands flying down to pull his away. “Sh, sh sh, I’ll go slow again, okay? Gotta be able to take them or we can’t fuck.”

You fight back tears as the stretch begins to sting. He sinks his head lower, taking one of your hardened nipples into his mouth. Your back arches off the bed slightly, coaxing him to look up at you. And then he remembers all of articles he’s read. All of the research he’s done.

He even thinks about his teammates talking about sex.

“You have to worship the clit.” he recalls one of them saying.

He pulls away from your tit, briefly, to line his thumb up with your clit and apply pressure. He circles it carefully, monitoring your expressions as he does. You yelp, trying to close your legs, but he opens them back up with his free hand.

“Are you gonna cum?” he wonders.

“It’s too much, Rinnie!” you gasp, skin tightening over your knuckles until they turn white as you grip the sheets. “S-Slow down, please! S’too much!” you cry, unable to hold back your tears any longer.

He doesn’t relent, however. Hoping the way your body trembles means you’re about to cream all over his fingers. It was an achievement he never reached with his ex without her assistance. She showed him how and where to touch to make her cum. But you’re not her. You’re perfect.

You gasp, breathlessly, as your pussy begins to tighten around his fingers. Your clit throbs as he teases it just right and you begin to cum hard and fast for him. He kisses between the valley of your breaths, whispering sweet nothings as you reach your peak and plummet back down to earth. He slows down his ministrations as you begin to shudder and twitch from the after shocks, looking up at you adoringly when you start to calm down.

“Good?” he asks.

“Very,” you pant, laughing lightly as you find your sense again. “Rinnie…” you speak, your confident bravado disappearing again as you feel naked and exposed.

“Yeah?”

“Promise me… promise you’re a virgin, too…” you say, looking up at the ceiling. You feel too needy and desperate as you speak. But that was too good for him to not know what’s he’s doing. He’s seriously only done that once on another girl? It’s a little hard to believe.

“I promise. Was it really that good?” he smirks. He kisses both of your nipples softly before sucking his fingers clean of your juices. “I’ve been preparing… reading about stuff. Asking advice. I’ve told you everything I’ve done, I swear.”

He stands up, unbuttoning his jeans and kicking off his shoes at the same time. He pulls of his jeans and underwear in the same movement, revealing his large, blushing cock.

“We don’t have to do this.” he assures you, picking up a condom from your desk and tearing the foil with his teeth. He rolls it down his length, the rubbery sheen covers the pretty pink colour of his dick. “Do you want to stop?”

“Um,” you think about it. He’s asking as if he isn’t already raring to go. You look between his erection and his intimidating stare as you think about what to say.

“What about just the tip?” he asks. And at that, you nod. He reaches under your skirt and pulls down your panties to ogle your drippy cunt one more time. He feels himself throb at the thought of splitting your virgin hole open on his fat cock. He’s always known he was big, and he really doesn’t want to hurt you. He can only hope his fingering was enough prep before you rob each other of your innocence for good.

He lines up his cockhead with your virgin slot as he cages you in beneath his wide frame. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down to kiss you, your moan semi silenced as he pushes his tip in.

Oh God this isn’t enough.

He knew he’d need more.

Just a little more.

He pushes in a bit further, and you pull your lips away from his to voice your concern.

“H-Hurts,” you tell him. “You’re really big.” you inflate his ego further, earning another inch of his cock.

He can’t help it, you’re spurring him on!

And he can only imagine how much better you’d feel wrapped around him without this stupid fucking rubber on. He stops pushing when you place your palms on his shoulders, forcing him to pull back a little. “Is it the condom, Rin? Is it t-too dry?” you wonder, batting your eyelashes up at him so innocently.

“Yes.” he replies, without hesitation. “I’ll take it off.”

He pulls out of you instantly. He hisses a little as he pulls at the condom too hard and it snaps back. He decides to push it up from the base of his cock, lining up with your cunt again right after.

And it’s like you’re made for him as he pushes in. He smothers any whimper you can make with a searing kiss. You feel his tongue slip into your mouth as he pushes in further and further until there’s nothing left to give.

You’re crying, again, not expecting to feel so much so soon.

“God, you’re beautiful.” he praises you. He moves his hips, slowly. His cockhead unintentionally nudges against your soft spot with every rut. The blinding pleasure prevents you from telling him, once again, that it hurts and it’s too much. “I know I said just the tip, jus’ feel so good, princess.” he whispers delicately against your skin.

And, as expected, he doesn’t last long.

A few pathetic strokes of his cock inside of you have him spilling thick spurts of white cream into your unprotected walls. He collapses on top of you, panting violently as he stuffs you full.

He was so backed up before this. He masturbates, of course, but not as much as the average guy. You’ve had this planned for a few weeks, now, so he decided to abstain so he could really enjoy feeling you for the first time.

“Fuck, ‘m sorry. Should have jerked off before I came over.”

“It’s okay.” you tell him, fingers mussing through his hair as you come to terms with the fact that you’ve finally lost your virginity, to your best friend of all people.

“I need to fuck you again,” he confesses, your fingers stop as you look down at him.

“W- now?”

“Soon,” he corrects you. “I want to taste you first.”

© 2023 rinhaler

[8loveletters]

"is this everything you dreamed of?"

pairing: kim mingyu × fem reader

genre: smut, mutual pining (or: mutual lowkey unhealthy obsession lol), little fluff at the end

word count: ~4.7k

content warnings: mingyu is a few (like 3) years older than reader, reader is smaller than mingyu and has somewhat longer hair, voyuerism, mutual (kinda) masturbation, dom!mingyu, oral (both receiving), tit sucking/nipple biting, spanking (literally once), unprotected sex, doggystyle, big dick gyu.., filming a sextape (not to be seen by anyone else), creampie, multiple orgasms, sir kink, praise kink, manhandling, lots of pet names given by mingyu (baby/pretty girl, princess, sweetheart, etc. (but also slut/whore..)), mingyu is a lil rough but also a softie,, lmk if i should add anything else!

summary: you've been hopelessly in love with your best friend's older brother for the past decade. you've fantasized countless times about a future in which you could be together. but you've accepted the fact that it will probably remain just that -- a fantasy. that is until your best friend and roommate's weekend trip out of town leads to a rare opportunity. will tonight finally be the night that all your dreams come true?

this weekend would be the first time you were going to be completely alone in a really long time. you and your roommate have been best friends since middle school. so, it only made sense that you would move in together and become roommates when you went to the same college together.

now, it's been a couple years since you graduated but you're still living together. you both enjoyed it though. being with each other practically 24/7 never put a strain on your relationship the way you had heard from others that it might. but you knew the time would come soon that you would have to part ways as you both established yourselves in your careers and became more independent. also, you knew it was only a matter of time that one or both of you would find a romantic partner you were serious enough about to move in with. and this weekend seemed like the first step towards that for your roommate.

she and her boyfriend were taking a weekend trip together for the first time. before that, however, she was going to take him to meet her parents and older brother. it was a way of seeking their approval before taking this next step in their relationship. but frankly it seemed like just a formality, as she was so head over heels for him it probably wouldn't matter whether they approved or not.

you were bored in bed scrolling through your feed while some dumb reality show played on your tv as background noise. you saw the picture your best friend posted earlier that night of her, her boyfriend, and her family taken at the restaurant they had met at to eat dinner. you smiled when you saw how happy she looked. her boyfriend was good to and for her and you knew how excited she was to introduce him to them. you were relieved it seemed to have gone well by the looks on everyone's faces.

however, your eyes eventually locked onto the one face you were trying your best to avoid: her older brother mingyu's.

mingyu was a few years older than you and your best friend. you met him the first time you ever spent the night at her house at the beginning of the first year of middle school. you really hadn't developed any interest in boys yet, and your new friend's awkward older brother was no exception to this, so you really paid him no attention. that, of course, changed over time the more you grew up and became more interested in boys and the more he grew up and became more handsome.

your crush on him really started to grow your freshman year of high school. he was a senior at your same school and seeing him everyday in the hallways in addition to the multiple days a week when you hung out at your best friend's house instead of your own just intensified your feelings more.

you never let onto it though, not wanting to make your best friend uncomfortable. so many girls in your grade already gushed about him around her and you could tell how awkward it was for her. it did make you a bit jealous though, other girls talking about how attractive he was. even though he'd never date them, focusing more on playing sports and hanging out with his friends than fooling around with any girls despite his playboy looks, you couldn't help but feel jealous when they stated the obvious -- that he was hot as hell.

after that year, though, he went off to college and you saw much less of him during those years. you would think that would make your lame high school crush fizzle out, but well, absence makes the heart grow fonder as they say. you cherished anything you could get. the times you would be at the same family functions as your families had also become so close over the years it was like one big extended family. or the time he helped you -- sweaty and shirtless -- move furniture into the new apartment you and your roommate had rented in the dead of summer. or the times he'd be on a roll posting the most boyfriend-coded pictures on his social media for days on end before disappearing from them again for weeks.

and now, after all these years, you still can't bring yourself to commit to a relationship because you just can't stop thinking about him. and you had met some really good people over the years who would be really good partners. but you just weren't ready yet. you just weren't ready to give up on the delusion that you and mingyu could still somehow end up together.

you couldn't stop yourself from clicking the tag on the picture and scrolling through mingyu's profile for the millionth time. you also couldn't stop your mind from wandering straight into the gutter while your free hand wandered underneath the waistband of your sweatpants.

you know it's wrong. you've known it was wrong for about 10 years now. but you just can't help it. you want mingyu, your best friend's brother, desperately. in the worst way possible. you turn off the tv and toss your phone on the bed, letting yourself yet again be immersed in the fantasy of having mingyu deep inside you. you tell yourself if this dream could become a reality just one time, you'd be satisfied and able to move on. but for now, you try in vain to pleasure yourself with just your fingers even half as much as you're convinced his cock would be able to.

so lost in your delusions, you don't even hear the front door of your apartment open and shut.

at dinner, mingyu's sister had asked him to stop by the apartment on his way home. she had forgotten to water her plant and she figured you'd probably be out with your other friends since it was the weekend. maybe you might have heard him struggle twice before finally entering the passcode correctly, but your bedroom was farthest from the front door and you had left your bedroom door open only a crack out of habit. plus, not much could be heard over your pathetic moans and whimpers thinking about the man who was now in your apartment.

mingyu was never the most observant person, so he didn't notice anything as he went to water the plant. even when he did think he heard something, he just chalked it up to maybe the walls being thin and it being a neighbor with their tv up too loud. so, he set the watering can down and started to leave the apartment. that is until he heard something akin to a siren's call: your voice. after all these years, it was unmistakable to him.

his mind tried to convince him he didn't hear what he thought he did. while his body, more specifically his cock growing harder by the second, led him toward your bedroom door. toward a sound he had only dreamt of: you moaning in pure ecstasy. as he reaches your door, his brain tries one last futile attempt to persuade him that you must have left your tv on and that's what he's hearing. as a good guy looking out for your electricity bill, he'll just pop in real quick and turn it off...

mingyu slowly pushes the door open and sees exactly what he was both hoping and dreading at the same time.

you are sprawled out on your bed in just a tiny tank top and panties, your sweatpants discarded at some point to the middle of your floor. mingyu cannot believe how beautiful you look biting your bottom lip with furrowed brows, hair all disheveled. his hand has a mind of its own as it quietly unbuckles his belt and releases his throbbing hard length from his slacks.

mingyu knows it's wrong. he's known it was wrong for about 10 years now. you were his little sister's best friend. he should not ever have been attracted to you, nor should he still be. but he was and he is.

countless nights over the years he dreamed about you two being together. but he could never cross that line and initiate anything. especially since he could never quite gauge how you really felt about him. he thought there was something to the looks you'd give him, and the way you'd blush when you realized he'd noticed. but then you'd usually act so indifferent or at the most cordial when you were around him. so he was always wondering if those lustful glances were all in his head. but it was just enough to always keep him wondering about what it would be like to be with you. so much, that it was hard for him to be in any kind of serious relationship. no one could compare to you, even if it was just an idealized version of you.

"mingyu!"

his blood runs cold and he stops in place, hand mid-pump down his thick cock. he stays frozen in place like a thief who has just been caught red-handed. when his eyes look up from your hand in your panties that he was focusing so intently on to your eyes, he realizes they are still shut. you haven't seen him. then, why would you have screamed his name..?

"mingyu, please. i want-- need you so bad." you are desperately chasing a high that won't come because your fingers just aren't enough. mingyu realizes immediately what's going on.

you're fantasizing about him while you touch yourself so desperately. this finally confirms that all these years he really wasn't crazy. you wanted him just as badly as he wanted you.

his body takes over once again giving his mind no time to even try to be rational. within seconds mingyu is hovering over you on your bed.

your eyes shoot open and you scream, heart nearly stopping. when you come to your senses and realize that the man over top of you is, literally, the man of your dreams and not some random intruder you relax slightly. but that doesn't last long before your entire body is burning with embarrassment as you try your hardest to push him away from you and cover yourself.

"mingyu!" no matter how you say his name it drives him crazy all the same. "w-what the hell are you doing here?!"

"my sister asked me to stop by and water her plant and-- well none of that matters now. what i want to know is what you were just doing?"

mingyu is still towering over you, your attempts to move his large frame amusing at best. the look on his face is something you've never seen before, like that of a ravenous wolf staring down its meal.

"i, uhh, i was just--" you shift under his gaze and turn your head slightly. if you can't get away from him you at least want to hide how hard he's making you blush right now.

"cat got your tongue, baby girl?" his smirk is so evil, his voice so cocky. "how about i give you the rundown? you were playing with that pretty little pussy of yours imagining it was me deep inside you and not your fingers. sound about right?"

you can't bring yourself to look at him directly, but your body is fighting hard to let him know he's exactly right. with much resistance, you're able to give him a slight nod. but it's not good enough.

mingyu grabs you somehow both roughly and gently by the chin and forces you to look him in his beautiful brown eyes that are saturated with lust. "use your words, darling. is that what you were doing?"

"y-yes.." it's soft but seems to satisfy him and he lets go of your jaw.

"well this is no good. all these years i never dared try anything because it didn't seem you felt the same way. but here you were so desperate for me all along." mingyu repositions himself so he can spread your legs apart, eyes locking onto the soaked fabric of your panties. your face is still burning but your body gives up on trying to resist him anymore and you keep your legs spread wide while he stares for what feels like ages. "oh y/n... if you really wanted me this badly, all you had to do was ask."

"i--" your voice catches in your throat, but you gather all your strength and try again, way too needy to care about how pathetic you're about to sound. "i don't just want you mingyu.. i need you.. been dreaming about you in my guts for years now.."

mingyu chuckles and cups your cheek with his large hand, looking down at you like you're the most adorable thing he's ever seen. "well then, tonight i'll make all those dreams a reality for you."

within the time it takes you to blink, mingyu crashes his lips into yours, all but devouring your lips with his own. his kisses are passionate and sloppy, giving away just how much he's been waiting for this moment as well. he trails more kisses down your neck as you unbutton the nice white dress shirt he was wearing and throw it on the floor near your sweatpants. he clumsily takes off his slacks and underwear, leaving himself fully exposed while you were still (barely) covered by your small tank top and panties.

you take in his form, his chiseled body and long, thick cock making you clench around nothing and bite your lower lip. he smirks at your reaction for a moment before quickly moving down to the end of the bed, positioning his face between your thighs right in front of your dripping core.

without warning he drags his tongue along the length of your cunt over the ruined fabric. your moan makes him smile wide, fangs on full display. "mm, baby, already so wet just for me." he places a few kisses on your thigh, surprisingly soft compared to the rough ones on your mouth moments before. the teasing becomes too much for you though, and you buck your hips up on instinct trying to get more contact on the place you need it most.

you whine as mingyu pulls his head away and forces your hips down onto the mattress. "not so fast, sweetheart. i need to hear you say exactly what you want from me. be a good girl and ask nicely, and i'll give it all to you."

"your tongue.. need your tongue on my pussy. please, mingyu."

mingyu gives you a satisfied nod and wastes no time ripping your thin panties clean off you and tossing them aside. he dives straight into your folds, lapping at your cunt like a dog who hasn't drank anything in days. the sensation quickly becomes overwhelming and when he moves to focus his attention on your clit, you're brought closer and closer to the edge. you manage to get a few words out at a time between moans and heavy breaths. "mingyu, i'm so close.. c-can i please come?" you catch on quickly, knowing he probably wouldn't let you unless you asked nicely.

and it seemed to work. mingyu nods and lets out a hum of approval and that's all you need to allow your orgasm to overtake you. your hands grabbed at his thick, dark hair as you pulled him closer into your core, hips rocking back and forth as you rode out your high.

mingyu licked up all your juices as you came down and then looked up at you, chin wet and eyes looking even hungrier than before. he crawled back on top of you, kissing you somehow even more wildly than he had before. once he felt you had had enough time to recover from your first climax, he effortlessly picked you up and swapped your positions in one swift motion. he was now the one laying on his back while you were over top of him. you knew he must be strong with the way he was built, but you were a little speechless at the maneuver he just pulled off like it was nothing. once you snap out of it, you take advantage of your position being literally on top and try to take a bit of the control in this situation.

"now it's my turn to make you feel good. would you like that, hm? like to see me choking on that big dick?" you grind your core down onto his rock-hard member as you ask, eliciting a quiet groan from mingyu's throat. when he doesn't answer right away, you decide to rephrase the question in a way that makes him feel he still has all the control. "can i please suck your cock, mingyu?"

he nods and you get right to work. you position yourself between his legs and are a bit taken aback when you see just how big and thick he is up close and in detail. you lick your lips at the sight and get started. you bob your head up and down a few times, stopping only part of the way down as you don't think you'd be able to take all of him. this isn't good enough for mingyu however and he suddenly wraps your hair tight around his hand and pushes your mouth down his full length. the pain of his tip pushing at the back of your throat brings tears to your eyes, but it feels so good at the same time.

after bringing your head back up and letting you catch your breath for a moment, mingyu starts relentlessly fucking your mouth. the sounds that fill the room are so filthy and it's like music to his ears. "look at you. so pretty while i fuck your mouth. such a beautiful little slut for me." you moan at his praises, tears streaming down your cheeks. the vibration of your voice around him is enough to finally push him towards his climax and his thrusts become sloppier but more forceful. "fuck, baby, feel so good choking on my cock. you ready to swallow my cum like a good little whore?" you do your best to nod your head in agreement and seconds later you feel him unload down your throat. when he's finished, he pulls out and you swallow hard. you open your mouth to show him you took it all and he smiles, a little out of breath. "good girl."

the way he praises you makes your heart skip a beat. all you've wanted for so many years was to be with him like this. and even if this is the only chance you ever get, you're glad you could make him feel good and be his good girl for the night.

you think mingyu might need a minute to recover, but you're amazed when he's ready to go again almost immediately. he quickly sits up and begins messily making out with you again. as he does, he finally pulls off your tank top which somehow has stayed on this whole time. once your tits are free he takes a moment to look at them in awe. then, he's kissing and sucking on them just as gently as he had your thighs earlier. you appreciate the way he can be so rough and so gentle with you, making you feel better than anyone you'd ever slept with before.

the stimulation on your nipples heightens your arousal, but you need more. "mingyu.."

"what is it, princess?"

"please-- can you please fuck me? need you inside me now." your last word comes out more like a moan as mingyu lightly bites your sensitive nipple before pulling away to look you straight in the eye.

he can see the way your eyes beg for him and he just can't keep you waiting any longer. he throws you onto the bed on your stomach, the way he can just toss you around so effortlessly like a doll turning you on even more. he positions you with your head down on your pillow, ass up in the air as he gets on his knees behind you. then, he notices something that catches his eye: your phone that you had tossed onto the bed next to you earlier. it gives him a naughty idea and he grabs it quickly and before you can react, he's got the camera app open and recording a video.

"mingyu, what are you doing?!" suddenly you feel shy all over again.

"just filming a little something so you know this wasn't a dream." as he says this, he runs his tip through your folds, camera angled perfectly to capture everything. your shyness subsided and all you can think about is him finally rearranging your guts.

"ah, don't tease," you whine. "please put it inside. please, gyu." the nickname and the begging tone of your voice somehow make him harder, if that was even possible. he intends to oblige, but first, he hands you your phone.

"i'll give you all that you're begging for and more. but you gotta keep the camera on that pretty face of yours while i fuck you stupid. got it, baby?"

you nod and feel mingyu's hand come down and smack your ass, clearly not content with your lack of a verbal response. "not good enough, dear. need to hear you say it. do you understand?"

"yes, sir."

he groans, showing he clearly likes when you address him this way. as soon as you get the camera angled perfectly on your face, mingyu slowly starts pushing into your entrance.

"oh, fuck." you both say it simultaneously. his cock is so thick inside you and your pussy is so tight around him. you're not sure all of him will even fit, but he keeps slowly pushing in further and further until he bottoms out with a deep groan.

"that feel good, princess?" he stays still inside you, giving you time to adjust to his massive size.

"mm, yes, feels so good. filling me all the way up so fucking perfectly." you make direct eye contact with the camera as you speak, having enough foresight to know how hot it will be when either of you watches it back later.

mingyu takes this as his cue to finally start moving in you. he pulls back slowly, almost pulling all the way out before harshly thrusting back into you. you basically scream as he hits your sweet spot, nearly dropping the phone before quickly repositioning it. he then starts thrusting in and out of you at a steady and relentless pace.

the room, and probably your entire apartment, is filled with your moans and the sounds of skin slapping against skin, the camera capturing it all along with the tears that begin falling down your cheeks once again.

"fuck, baby, you're so tight. feel so fucking good clenching around me. better than i ever imagined. is this cock everything you dreamed of?"

"fuck, mingyu. so much better. so much bigger. fuck, just like that. please keep using my pussy just like that. it's all yours. i'm all yours, mingyu." you just keep babbling on, coming closer and closer to exploding again. the way you keep clenching around him is bringing mingyu back to the edge again as well.

"damn, baby, i'm so close. tell me where you want my cum and i'll let you come as well."

"inside. please, sir. i want you to come deep inside me. fill me up, please, gyu." you meant it when you said you were all his. and you wanted all of him, every last drop, inside of you.

after a few more strokes you both started coming undone. you tried your best to keep the camera focused on your face, but the video was probably going to come out just as shaky as your whole body was right now. mingyu painted your walls with his thick, hot white ropes of cum that mixed together beautifully with your own juices.

he stayed inside of you as you both caught your breaths a little. he reached forward and grabbed your phone from your hand, and focused it again on your cunt as he slowly pulled out. once his member was fully removed, he zoomed in on your hole as the mixture of liquids began to leak out and down onto the sheets below you.

once he felt like he got all the footage he needed, he locked your phone and threw it back onto the bed. mingyu could see you were too exhausted to move much on your own, so he went into your bathroom to get some towels to clean both you and the sheets up a bit before crawling into bed and cuddling with you.

he began petting your hair and showering you with praises. "you did so well, pretty girl. took my cock so well and looked so beautiful coming undone just for me." he kissed your forehead and you snuggled up closer to him, feeling so safe and warm in his big arms, comforted by the sound of his heart beating through his chest. you lay just like this for a bit before looking up at mingyu.

"thank you." he looks at you confused, cocking his head to the side like a curious puppy.

"thank you for making my dreams come true. even if it was just for one night.. i'm so happy to finally be with you like this."

mingyu looks a little upset at your words and you start to panic internally, fearing you've said something wrong.

"you don't have to thank me. i've wanted this just as badly, you know. but--" he stops for a moment but eventually continues. "was this just a one time thing for you?"

you're taken aback by how upset and almost insecure he seems, compared to how confident he had been all night.

"no!" it comes out a bit more panicked than you intended and you tried to calm yourself before continuing. "i just assumed.. i mean, would you want to do this again?"

"of course i would. you're the only girl i've wanted for years now, y/n. now that i've had you, i don't think i can ever let you go."

"but what about--" you stop yourself, realizing it would be weird for both of you to bring up your best friend and his younger sister while you're both laying naked together in bed after what you've just done. "are you sure?"

mingyu rolls over on his side, getting in a better position to look you in the eye and show you how sincere he is. "i've never been more sure about anything in my life. i'm completely yours, as long as you'll have me."

your eyes start to well up and you blink a couple times, mostly to make sure one final time that you're really not dreaming, but it also causes the tears to start streaming down. mingyu quickly wipes them away and caresses your cheek.

"of course i will, mingyu. you're literally a dream come true for me. like i told you earlier, i'm all yours."

mingyu pulls you closer to him and kisses you long and hard. when you finally part he just rests his forehead on yours for a moment and smiles, eyes still closed. when he's finally soaked up the moment, he quickly gets up from the bed leaving you a bit confused. he then walks around to your side and picks you up bridal-style without warning. you squeal at first and then start to giggle. he finds it so endearing how adorable you are and chuckles along with you.

"come on, pretty girl. let's go get properly cleaned up and get some well-deserved rest." he carries you across the room toward your bathroom so easily, as if you weigh nothing in his arms.

"yes, sir." your voice is so teasing now, completely unlike how you said the same phrase earlier that night.

"don't tease me, love. not unless you're ready for round two."

you smirk as you look up at him, still holding you while standing still in the doorway to your bathroom.

"i'm ready if you are."

a/n: this is my first nsfw piece so i hope it's okay 👉👈 any constructive feedback is greatly appreciated!! also, if you liked this please check out my other works here, and please reblog instead of just liking!

[pryllee]

7 minutes in heaven, or 7 hours.

Blade x AFAB! Reader

Dubcon, stomach bulge, kinda degradation/praise kink, slight mean blade with a sprinkle of softheartedness, cunnilungus/fingering, riding, jealous reader, kinda jealous blade ”ugly body” rejections whatever mentioned in start, hickeys/marking, tit sucking, bit of possessiveness in both so the feeling can be mutual, small breeding kink mention

A/N: I get pretty awkward and cringey while trying to write fuck parts so I hope anyone who reads this finds this good. And maybe I'll make HCs with him taking care of a child next time... If anyone wants that. 🥲

—

As depressed you already were, it already sucked even more with each rejection that slapped you at the face. You slammed the can of alcohol onto the table as Blade just watched leaning his head onto the wall.

"Ugh these fuckin' asses..." You held onto your head annoyed as hell,

"You know, we should be heading back now." He scanned you, before looking away again to try avoid your ’fiery fists’

You complained, slamming a fist onto the table almost making it break. "Oh c'mon don't make it worse than it already is! These idiots have the nerve to call my body unattractive, they might've just had atleast one more kiss before they died, no? Not like they were any better..." Silently whispering the last part.

Your brows furrowed noticing him staring off into the distance, probably at someone. You tried to find the direction he was looking in, and found a pretty girl almost your height, but her curves really showed through that waitress uniform.

A small ’oh’ of disappointment almost escaped your lips, making your eye twitch. "Maybe your right. Lets go." You grabbed the can with half of alcohol left.

Your walking almost felt like you were stomping leaving Blade barely confused, more like unfazed as he found this normal.

—

You noticed the place felt a little lonely, you didn't hear much till you advanced inside further and noticed some of the stellaron hunters and probably new recruits due to some unfamiliar faces along with Kafka on the side and Silverwolf. "Hi, [ Y/N ]. Nice to see you've brought Blade along with you." Kafka smiled as Silverwolf blew gum up, tapping away on her gaming console.

"Whats going on? They playin' spin the bottle?" You pointed drunkly with drool almost oozing out of your mouth. "Hmm...—seven minutes in heaven or whatever." She waved her hand as her back leaned against a pillar.

What is with these people leaning against shit? Just how disinterested really are they?

"Lemme participate." You spoke as you squeezed in a spot in the circle pushing some people aside joining the weird circle formation that felt like a cult. "What about you, Bladie? Won't you join her too?"

"Not interested. I don't really care about those type of feelings." He was about to walk away in the way both of you came, till Kafka offered him something.

"Hmm, I'm sure Silverwolf can secure you some time with her?" Pointing at her as he noticed a little wheel thing that controlled the bottle. "Unless you want her to give herself up to someone else, that is."

He clenched a fist tightly, loosening it quickly as he just also squeezed in a spot opposite of where you are.

He watched the previous can you held be thrown away assuming you already finished it or didn't and just hated the taste now. As the bottle kept spinning for some time, you wondered when it would land on you and choose a decent looking dude. Till it finally did. But then landed on Blade.

Your expression of happiness quickly went away realizing who else it landed on, would he even want to do spicy with you? If anything he'd probably rather do it with that stupid girl he stared at earlier. Maybe I should kill her. Whoops, thoughts got a little offtrack there.

The person on your right was nudging your shoulder to follow Blade in, as you quickly took a glance at Kafka feeling like something was up. And you were right cause something really was up. You followed him in, as he locked the door behind you both.

"So what do we do? Play cards? Or should we find that girls number?" You scoffed in annoyance wondering how the fuck you both even got paired up. Not like he'd find you anything more than friends.

-

You once planned to confess to him but as you were looking for him, you overheard some parts of a ’private’ conversation.

"Bladie, what do you prefer in a girl?" Kafka smiled, asking him. He just looked away as he looked in your direction, it felt like he saw you, but then it felt like he didn't as it really was just an open corridor thing.

"I don't know. I don't care about such things... But probably someone good with a sword and is stronger than me." He mumbled the last part, seemingly unsure of his words infront of Kafka as she'd probably do some weird shit.

"Oh? I thought you liked girls like [ Y/N ]?" She pried. "No... We're just co-workers, shes too bold for me too." He sighed, speaking in a low tone.

Just co-workers? Ha, is he fucking insane? Not even friends... But literal co-workers? You walked away holding onto your broken heart with tears bubbling up a little but you just wiped them away deciding to push your feelings away.

"Hmm... Poor [ Y/N ], seems pretty upset that she thought she was already rejected without the chance to even ask directly..." Kafka whispered in a low tone, glancing in the same direction he looked in previously.

"...Excuse me?" He asked, yet only got a headshake and ’nothing.’ in response. Did ’Elio’ also foresee this? How come Blade wouldn't get to know though? Well I guess he wouldn't need to since it's not related to the Astral Express or Stelle.

—

"Girls number? Who exactly are you talking about?" He asked, making the atmosphere even more awkward. "Oh please, don't act like I didn't see how you stared down that girl with ’beautiful’ curves in that stupid bar." You scoffed, crossing your arms.

"Is this seven minutes in heaven, or seven minutes in hell listening to you complain? And I didn't stare her down. I was just looking at her because ’curves’ were related in the stupid topic. You're the one who just stomped away like a furious little kid." His words hit you hard into the face, "And we aren't dating, I don't see how you're so pissed off about it."

You were practically seething in anger as you just turned around to go through the rooms backdoor to go outside. "And where are you going?" You felt him grip onto your waist, which sent shivers up your spine. "None of your business." You tried to push his hands off yet his grip only tightened even more.

"Blade..– Let go." Your breathing slowly became more and more hitched as the gap between you closed. Suddenly the lights went out and you heard Kafka announce something that made everyone walk away.

"Have fun, you two." Kafka whispered to herself, although she knew you couldn't hear.

"Hm? What happened, Kafka?" Silverwolf confusingly followed her from behind.

His chest pressed against your back, feeling his breathe becoming heavier as his hand slid down to your inner thigh, making you try to squirm out of his grasp almost instantly. "Blade stop—nnh.."

A soft low moan was made out as he caressed your clothed sex, you held onto the door infront of you, "Do you want me, [ Y/N ]?" He whispered into your ear. As short silence filled the room, he spun you around, lifting you up with his arms with your back pressing against the now locked door. "Answer me, you whore."

His eyes bored into yours. Your eyes darted everywhere trying to find a way to escape or somewhere decent to look at. "Whats with the act? How come you're so shy now?" He teased, chuckling, leaning into your lips. His tongue mixing with yours as you held onto him for Aeons sake, digging your nails into his back.

He pulled away with a string of saliva connecting from both of your lips, before leaning back down biting down on your tops button spitting each one out. "Do you really need to destroy my top? I could've just undo it by myself."

This felt like a dream come true, yet you also wished you would just wake up from it, it feels so wrong yet so right.

"Hmm... Can't have a pretty girl like you falling onto the ground now can we?" He held you with one arm now, with the other needily pushing the remains of your dignity away to reveal your chest. Yet another obstacle arised due to your bra. "Shouldn't we...—stop here? I'm sure it's already been seven minutes.." He shook his head, just pushing your bra down.

"Mmh, how cute, you're the one who wanted this for so long yet you're the one who also wants this to stop already." He bit down on your nipple, suckling on it like he tried to milk you,

"Maybe I should breed you with kids so I can suck alot of milk out of you, you'd probably like that, wouldn't you?" You moaned softly from time to time, covering your mouth with one hand as the other travelled up his hair,

"Mmngh... I— maybe...nnnh" you whimpered. His mouth was suckling one with one hand cupping the other and flicking at your now hard nipples leaving hickeys. You sobbed out his name softly, "I assume thats a yes? Can't believe how turned on you are when I'm only playing with your tits."

The previous hand that was cupping your boob slid down your pants, pushing it down along with your panty,

"Be a dear and say my name, maybe I'll help with that wetness down there then." His gloved finger ran down your slit, making you shudder,

"blade..." You mumbled

"Can't hear ya."

"Ugh... blade," You looked away embarrassed, your nails again digging into his back.

"Hmm?"

"Oh for Aeons sake, Blade please just fuck me!" You cried out in annoyance, the embarrassment was more than enough.

"Good girl." He lifted you over to a table, laying you on it with you facing him, "Wasn't so hard now was it?" He took his gloves off, pulling your pants off exposing your legs and cunt.

The tension got heavier with the bare cold hitting against your chest and lower half. He aligned two fingers with your hole, slowly pushing it in. "Be gentle—please..." You looked away,

"Mhm... And why should I?" He cooed "Could this be your first time?" You slightly nodded, as he just looked back at your hole, pushing his fingers in deeper forcing a moan out of you; "Ughh..—Blade! Nnh!" You cried, arching your back miserably, it hurt like a bitch yet slowly felt good.

He can't believe he almost gave your virginity up to someone else other than him, the fact you could've been moaning out someone elses name really is annoying.

His fingers thrusted in and out at a painfully slow pace, your walls tightened vigorously and it was so easy for him to access with how wet and slick your pussy already was for him. The pace got faster, with his fingers slightly becoming curled with each passing thrust adding another finger in.

"Fuck! Blade—nngh.. shit..." You cussed out clawing at the table feeling a knot in your tummy loosening, you came all over his fingers making a mess on the table. "Look at what a fucking mess you made, what a slut getting off with my fingers alone." He shoved his fingers down your mouth, onto your tongue,

"Lick it." You moaned softly to try and tease him, along with some sucking. "Ha, maybe I shouldn't have let you cum that easily." He flicked your clit making you yelp a little loudly.

The bulge in his pants was starting to become unbearable, but atleast it's time to actually have some intercourse. He undid his belt, slipping his pants off pulling you closer to him, sitting infront.

You became a tad bolder, holding onto his thigh and with the other hand you held onto his arm. "Sit still, pretty girl." he reprimanded,

He finally slipped his boxers down grabbing onto your ass lifting you up pressing your now dry saliva-ridden tits against his chest slightly with him holding his length, "Uhhm... Are you sure it's going inside of me?" You stared nervously at his length "Yes, and I'll make it fit if you're so worried about that." He spat on his hands, rubbing around it.

"Don't girls usually do that by sucking it?" You ask perplexed, "Mmh... They do, but I'm sure the both of us can't wait to start this fuckfest."

He chuckled again lowly, burrowing his head into the crook of your collarbone kissing it leaving a hickey as he blindly shoved it inside of your hole making your back arch, and tremble. His mouth travelled down again to your nipple, suckling on it and drawing circles around it with his tongue. He stuck his hand in place on your stomach feeling the bulge disappear and appear each thrust he does.

"Fuck—" low moans rolled off your tongue, "... Feels so good, Blade.." He sloppily thrusted inside, trying to find your g-spot, finally noticing you tighten arching your backing vigorously at one of the thrusts, thrusting again making you moan loudly.

"Shh. Do you want someone to hear us?" He shoved a finger in your mouth, spitting onto your tongue making you swallow it. "Such a whore, swallowing my spit so easily." He leaned in for another kiss, mixing saliva together once again sloppily thrusting rolling his tongue around with yours.

His thrusts got faster 'n deeper yet somehow still managed to hit your G-spot everytime, you threw your legs around him, and arms around his neck smashing your lips against him. "Fuck—I'm so close [ Y/N ]... He mumbled lowly with one of his hands travelling down to rub your clit furiously.

You creamed around his cock, liquids dripping down your thighs and his shaft furiously feeling yourself coming closer to your climax. You burrowed your head into his neck, messing his collar up and leaving small hickeys as you bit at him.

"Really what a whore, I can't believe you could've been like this with someone else." His words made you scoff slightly, "Neither can I." Grunts could be heard under his breathe and your moans getting louder and bolder till both of you came at the same time, white liquid filled your womb yet you still felt his length barely softening,

You tightened around him hard you could feel his cock pulsing inside of you, "Mmh.. Not done yet." He whispered, blowing into your ear having reality settle into your very veins.

"Don't tell me you still have stamina..." You said in a tired tone. "I do, infact I still do have enough till morning." He laughed leaving another hickey on your collarbone, biting on it feeling proud of all the markings hes made on you.

—

Light shined through the blinds, quite literally almost blinding you till you realized you have no idea where the fuck you are. You were in some weird house, in someones bed. You got up and noticed you were naked, hurriedly finding clothes to wear.

Till you noticed the closet was full of mens wear, yet you just grabbed whatever looked comfortable and strided out of that room... Which was probably Blades room. You noticed a mirror right when you stepped out, and saw hickeys everywhere on your collarbone and neck. "So it really wasn't a dream..."

"What wasn't a dream?" You saw him appear from the side holding a cup of coffee in different clothes for the first time. "Also you're wearing my clothes. They seem too big for you." He remarked, "Well obviously, I have no idea where the hell you threw my clothes off too and the tops buttons were torn off by you."

"Calm down you two, we don't wanna stir up trouble in this house, otherwise we'll be found out and chased out. Also stop with the love quarreling." Silverwolf sighed also in different clothes. "Okay why is everyone in different clothes for the first time? Am I going insane?" You rubbed your eyes.

"Now we may wear the same outfit for a long time but we definitely wear something else at night to sleep comfortably, thank you." She replied in an ’isn't it obvious?’ tone. Blade just leaned on the wall sipping the cup of coffee.

Silverwolf then seemed to remember something, hurriedly tip toeing over to you, "How was it?" She whispered in your ear. "What? How was what? I don't know what you're talking about." You flushed red running away to find the bathroom.

"The bathrooms the other way." He yelled loudly in an unfazed tone. "I KNEW THAT!!!" You screamed dashing the other way.

"Oh dear Blade... What exactly did you do to her?" "Nothing. Don't go thinking weird stuff about me now." He took another sip of his coffee before following in your tracks to also go to the ’bathroom.’

——

[bandgie]

Hey, I have an idea. How about skz members reaction to you being the Dom for the first time

perfect idea I must say!

MDNI 18+, edging, overstim, chastity use, rimming, strap ons, bondage, fem!reader, bottom!skz, dom!reader, exhibitionism mentions, fleshlight use, mutual masterbation

Chan - loves it idk what anyone says. he's such a hard worker, he needs some time where he just lays there and takes everything you give him - you do have to tie him up a bit though, he keeps gripping your hips when you ride and fucking you to his liking - I imagine his hands tied behind his head and his biceps flex everything you sink onto his cock. you might even put your underwear in his mouth to muffle his moans (he looks so good) - takes longer to cum when you dom, but it feels so much better. it's like he's constantly at that high just before he orgasms. hurts so good

Lee Know - taken back honestly, might even decline your request the first time. he can't though, it intrigues him. - he'll have you start off slow, he doesn't think he can bottom right from the get go. I imagine he has you suck him off for as long as you want. - overstimulating Minho is literally seeing that gates of heaven. doesn't matter how red or swollen his pretty cock gets, he's much too prideful to tell you to stop - he's surprised by how much he likes it, he'll absolutely let you eat his ass like this. bro has no shame when it comes to cumming

Changbin - slut oh my god, do whatever you want with him he's been waiting for you to dom. put a cute little chastity over his cock so he can't get hard - he'll leak and leak, but you'll just make him eat you out for hours. he'll complain about wanting to cum, but he only does it to see you get mean. telling him he's a dumb slut who can't wait - hop on his thighs like you're gonna ride him, but put a dildo between the two of you. ride that instead, gripping his shoulders and making him suck your tits. his little cock is still in that god forbidden chastity, but he moaning like you're really fucking him - loves it, overall. you just need give him a bunch of aftercare

Hyunjin - he's a service dom and he's a service sub, so he loves fucking you either way - similar to Changbin in that he'll do whatever you want, but different in that he doesn't it because he only cares about you pleasure. - you like to test this out, sometimes you won't ever make him cum when you dom, but Hyunjin doesn't complain one bit. he is really hard though, his dick is leaking so much that you take pity and let him cum even when you tell him you won't - I don't hyunjin is really surprised or super turned on, he just loves you period. in any way shape or form. - he does it like when slap his balls though oops

Han - loves it when you dom for the first time, and you do it everytime after that, works out the best - do not let this man cum! he loves when you edge him and it doesn't matter how much he's begging do not let him cum! - really likes rimming and when you use a strap. it can't be too but though, 4 inches max. he's totally the type to complain that it's still too big and that it hurts, but he loves it when you tell him to take it - tbh he might just come from anal play, whore! you can't let that slide, you didn't give him permission. now you're gonna make him cum until he can't feel his dick anymore

Felix - first thing he thinks is 'why didn't we do this sooner?' and he's so right. lix is a good sub and he listens obediently. you could even play with him in public and he'll do what you say. - for the first time, you need to go slow with him. everything is new and both of you need time to adjust. safe words are a must, safe gestures as well - unlike Han, Felix can take bigger straps. his ass is literally a pussy with how easily it takes your silicone cock. he was built for dick honestly, moans prettily too - likes when you edge and overstim him, he can't choose a favorite. just please squeeze his balls he sounds so cute when you do - I firmly believe you can use a double ended dildo with him after some time

Seungmin - loves it when you dom, I don't know why I dont see that a lot. he's a huge tease, and when you finally threaten to dom him, he loves the challenge - you both degrade each other. Seungmin may physically surrender to you, but he never will verbally. he needs to get the last word even when your fingers are wrapped around his throat. - you like to push him, and he loves it when you do. wear a nice sized strap and fuck him like that. get a fleshlight and stroke his cock with it. he goes insane, he can't even speak - 'no smart ass reply this time huh?'

I.N - girl...he doesn't even know he likes it - like minho, he's dismissive. he actually forgets you even asked him until you're riding him one night. maybe it would be nice, to see what you can do - the next time you guys fuck, he'll ask what you have in mind. he's a little scared you might say something outlandish, but you actually mention mutual masterbation! - oh that's easy to him! how is that even a dom thing? - then he realizes the challenge when he watches your pussy cream on the dildo you're fucking yourself on. he's so jealous, mad even. all he gets to use is his hand while you have a surplus amount of toys to cum on - he begs and constantly asks to fuck you, but you tell him no over and over again. it doesn't matter how many times he's cum in his fist, it's nothing compared to your hot pussy - then you make him eat you out after. making sure to clean your pussy up real good. that's when he cums the hardest, untouched.

[archangeldyke-all]

hi! okay so im actually a mutual and a fellow writer of yours but im too shy to ask with my user visible. anyways i've been following you and reading your work on here and ao3 for a while but i didn't realize that was both you!! you're literally my fav sevika writer on ao3 (here too ofc)

anyways, if you haven't done this yet, i'd really appreciate sevika with a gf who is curvy and plump. like how would she react, what would she like abt her gf and such. can be sfw or nsfw, whatever you wish!

thank you for your work and i wish you a happy new year <3

hi bb!! thank u so much for such a lovely compliment! i wrote a little blurb about an insecure chubby reader getting her insecurities fucked outta her by sev ;) which you can read here!

but it's 2024! let's write some not-sad chubby reader, because this year we're loving our bodies and thanking them for everything they've gotten us through, no matter what they look like!!!

men and minors dni

sevika. loves. big girls.

idc what anyone says.

sure, she trains for her job. but her real motivation for hitting the gym every single night is the excited/horny/giddy look you get in your eyes when she picks you up with ease.

when her arms get wobbly and she considers just calling it a night and heading home, she thinks of the way you squeal when she throws you over her shoulder and shakes her head, grits her teeth, and continues her reps.

she loves having you in her lap. it takes a while to convince you. you're certain you're going to squish her, make her uncomfortable, but the weight of you against her is so comforting and soothing to sevika-- she's addicted to it. she's always got you on top of her, sitting in her lap or laying on her chest while you watch tv.

she loves how soft you are. besides your elbows and knees and skull-- every part of you is soft and pliable and plush and so so so grope-able.

she'll grope any part of you.

your flabby biceps? she's feeling them up like they're your tits.

the little pouch of fat under your chin? she's always pinching and rubbing when she holds your head in her hands as you kiss.

and your belly?!

sevika goes wild for your belly.

the way it rolls, the way it jiggles, the way it hangs over your waistband or peeks out of your shirt when you reach up-- sevika's constantly drooling over your belly.

if you're in the house, she demands you be shirtless. just so she can see your belly. sure, your tits are there too, and that's great when she's in the mood, but most of the time it's more wholesome than that. she's just obsessed with your stomach. she loves seeing the way it expands and contracts when she makes you laugh, loves tracing the little lines that form from your rolls when you stand after sitting for a while, adores the stretchmarks that decorate it.

in the bedroom, she'd constantly be biting you. she loves sinking her teeth into your soft flesh, loves the marks she leaves behind, loves the way it makes you gasp.

and the groping gets ten times worse.

one hand on each of your ass cheeks while you ride her, one on each of your tits during doggystyle. during missionary, she spends just as much time looking at your face as she does looking at your stomach, both of her hands gripping your hips, her fingertips sinking into your skin. if she's got you in a mating press, she's got her fingers pinching your thighs.

you don't sit on her face for a long time.

you're convinced you'll hurt her or suffocate her, and each time you tell her this she just grins and says, 'please do.'

but once she manages to get you to agree-- it becomes both of your new favorite position.

sevika's fucking magical with her tongue-- but when she's eating you out she's always teasing you, pulling away before you can cum or getting distracted by pressing kisses and sucking hickeys on your thighs and fupa. but when you're on top, you get full control, and you can grind your cunt against her wickedly talented lips and that gorgeous nose of hers as much as you please.

sevika, meanwhile, cums in her pants the first time you sit on her face. with your smell enveloping her, your taste on her lips, your sounds in her ears, her hands clinging on your hips-- how could she not cum? especially when your thighs start twitching around her ears.

she's always buying you clothes just a size too small. likes the way they cling to you, likes watching your flesh strain against the fabric.

on a similar note, she's always making you wear her clothes-- no matter how tight they are on you. she'll even chop the sleeves and waistline hems off for you so they're more comfortable for you to wear. she loves the way you spill out of her clothes, and she loves the way they slowly ride up to your waist over time, revealing your wide hips to her.

if you ever need to win an argument or really fluster sevika, all you have to do is wear thigh high socks. something about the way your thighs spill out over the hem drives her wild. she'll do anything if you ask while you're wearing thigh highs.

my other chubby reader blurb covers this much more in depth, but if you have any insecurities about your body, you won't have them for long with sevika around.

to her, you have The Perfect Body. sure, she's ripped like an olympian, but you are shaped like a fucking goddess. and she's very, very happy to worship.

taglist!

@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbie

[robins-den]

Hey can you please list what you call the yttd characters. Not what you think the names are but how you remember them. (It entertains me)

oh god uhhhh okay . i mm lmk if this is what you meant because i kinda devolved into saying what i think i know about them in a short amount

sarah choudin (most unfortunate haircut those fucking BANGGGGGGS)

joe tazuna (literally ,. just some guy. gives me kazuichi vibes but if people in universe actually liked him. hes like a dog maybe?? i think he escaped the killing game through a hole in the ceiling and sarah is impatiently waiting for him to come back with help but he like. broke his leg and died in a different hole so there's no help coming)

sou,,,,, sou shin? he has a hat and a scarf and a rattail? and he has that autism stare. I remember him as the ashe bradley of yttd. also you can rename him apparently

pancake girl. i remember her by the pancakes and syrup on her head. is she in girlscrush with the furry kid or are they the same kid or is furry kid dead. she's the third or second person i think of when i think yttd

furry kid. uhhhhh anzu?? shes uh. cat paws cat mask and ? has a relationship with sou shin but its really weird and bad and emotional . but shes just furry kid to me

that guy with the huge chest the blond one that the mutuals don't agree on. hes a chef?? all i remember is his huge chest tbh he could play captain america . also a sprite with his hand behind his head and he gives the viewer a Look and its like are we on a date ???? at a bar ?? whats the vibe ??

THE SCIENTIST. uhh. big tits according to footlong. also hes dating 'the floormaster'. i dont know anything about him i rememver him as 'weird scientist dude'

the floormaster. i think he works for the guy who trapped them all there and serves up drinks and food. the bandage guy? i remember him like 'oh he looks like the murder method from that episode of case closed :)' with a fedora because he's a loser

apparently there are also these doll things. the way i remember them is that whenever my beloved besties reblog or make a post and its an untagged meta analysis of the fact that all the characters are probably clones and the dolls are proof of that i scroll away super fast

uhh theres this dark skin guy. i have literally never seen him until that singular time a few weeks ago. i don't know anything about him. does he mean that the guild owner brings fresh meat in when enough people die or do they run multiple killing games and then condense them

sarah choudins dad. he looks like papa from witchs heart and sucks like he does

uhh idk anyone else or theyre so insignificant that i think they arent real.

[makahimetenshi]

Follow me inside the wastelands - Chapter 6  -Arthur Maxson x Female Sole Survivor Fanfic

This one will be a long fic with a lot of chapters, I already write the concepts. Since I don’t play as Nora in Fallout 4 because Nate for me is the real protagonist the personalities and ideas are pretty fanbased from another fanfics I read

If you are very very very delighted with one fic and want a continuation I didn’t write or post you can donate me at least $5 bucks, most of this fics have next chapters I don’t finish because lack of motivation but hey a $5 is a $5, I see a few reviews and coments that fics that are abandoned months laters receive coments of wanting to know what happends next. Here it is, I finished my handling with you all, enjoy the fic

It was the first night Arthur really really sleep with her. The first night that after finishing they both sleep together in each other arms.

Of course, not much sleep, he came at 2am and both stayed almost until 4…the thought made the elder snork a bit, now it was 7am, most of the soldiers were starting their day, a lot of them were actually walking outside the sentinel quarters right now so it wasn’t a good idea to leave…or if he did leave he should do it exactly right now, barely dressing to not loose more time.

But then he look down, and see her sleeping in his arms, naked and beautifull.

They can stay together longer, he didn’t have anything important until 10...also she just came back from a long mission, she deserves the rest.

The thing is not only he was awake because this was the hour that all soldiers wake up but…he noticed something odd in the room…Danse old power armor helmet was in one of the shelves,  as a decorative item, he could recognize it anywhere.

Arthur slurped saliva.

Really the elephant in the room between both.

He looked down, annoyed, that subject really messed up his head, it places a dark energy around him he didn’t want.

She was there, with purple marks on her neck and breast and scratches all over her skin, damn he should be more delicate, but then he would remember that his back and arms also burn like hell, she said fuck me hard tonight and then both lost control like animals, Arthur wondered with a bit of worries if anyone heard something.

Probably yes.

He remember being harsh and brute with other sisters he invited to his bed…not so cooperative and mutual…it was more about her own realease and pleasure  before and now he would go out of his way to pleasure her, to eat every inch of her pussy until she begged for his cock when he denied it on purpose.

If he pushed too much she would grab the ropes and take what she wanted by force, which he loved, seeing such a wonderfull and strong woman on top apparently makes him so hard and lost, Arthur didn’t know that side of himself, he thought it was just he liked to being rided but no he wanted to be a slave completely devoted to suck tits and pussy, his cock only for teasing or to be used as a sex toy for his woman pleasure.

Damn thinking in those makes him hard again, and it was early in the morning.

-Can you be silent? –a whisper came from his chest surprising him.

-I thought you were sleeping –a couple of cold fingers tangled around his erection, making him shiver.

-I wake up at this hour…you cant go out right now so we better use the time inside…intelligently.

Confined in a room to fuck until time passes? Yes please…

His hands moved to her sides to pick her, Nora raised her legs to sit on his hips guiding herself with the hand on his cock

-Sorry about the morning breath –he said hypnotized by the view of her breast from bellow, sitting in a better position, resting his back on the backrest of the bed

-Lets continue until 9 so I can catch up some breakfast left okay? –he nooded and instinctively closed his eyes when she slowy slide down on his length.

Later, he would leave first and alone, like he never was there.

Lets speak on numbers…

She had been sentinel for almost year and half…they have know each other  for more than 3 years…they have a clear mutual attraction since almost 2 months…he doesn’t really have to hide and she neither for reputation, althought her achievements had been very visible to everyone.

If for any reason had to clarify their relationship everything was good…she didn’t climb up ranks in the brotherhood riding…althought he would like that very much.

His cheeks blushed at the thought, she cast an spell over him.

Can they be more open?

Maybe…It would be innapropiate from the elder to have such behaviors but…he was the elder…and the sentinel…they have the powers to do that…

At dinner time he crossed her in the hallways, she was carrying something that really blow his mind

-What the hell sentinel…? –he said turning around to see better, then she turned around too with a giggle.

She had a puppy on her hands.

-May I present you one of our newest initiates? –Maxson went closer to see the creature, a newborn puppy, really small, doing little squirm sounds

-Dogs must go to the special unit…

-I know I know…the rottweilerz I have a castle had a littler and this little one was rejected…If I didn’t take it the mother would eat him -Nora can never leave anyone behind doesn’t she? –I wonder if is a son of Dogmeat…

-We can spare him…

-Don’t –the way Nora menaced him with a gaze told him that something was very very wrong about doing anything with the dog- don’t fucking touch my dog

-Yes sentinel –he said summisive- wanna go for dinner? I was heading…

-Im actually taking the puppy to the unit, just came back from the castle I had something to talk with the Minutemen before, I don’t think Ill make it for dinner, want them to check on this little one before dropping him –of course she wouldn’t want to eat anything from the dinning room either, being a picky eater in the wasterlands must be hard.

-The soldiers told me theres a little reunion at 11pm since its Friday…wanna join? Tonight I will play a round or two of blackjack…

-That’s not fair, you are the elder, you will always win…-she said scratching the little puppys head, melting a bit Maxson heart

-That happened before I started to gambling prizes that people would actually try to win, if I put a new brand of cigarettes over the table someone is going to put on his pants to win it despite if im the elder or not

-Too bad I only know to play strip poker –she said to make the elder blush, and he did, they were in public! Not in the room!- alright! I see  you there

She turned back with the little creature on her arms and Arthur moved his hand to his hair, chest burning in expectation.

He will see her today again, twice in a day, how lucky.

The time of the party came, Arthur was on his element playing with another soldiers until he see walking around a woman with red lipstick.

Alright that’s his call.

Now that she was around, he felt better, more confident, less anxious, he wanted Nora around him.

She was just there, around talking with another ladies, sometimes Arthur wondered what they were chatting, what a ladies teaparty must be like, would they chat about…their lovers? Would she told anyone about him?

Not a chance, she woudnt do that to destroy his thrust.

Nora was observing the blackjack game from far and to her surprise Arthur didn’t win, not that she expected that they would let him win after putting in the table a new set of blades for razors at the gambling but if he played she expected a bit more of skill from him.

He couldn’t just do that for soldiers to have fun and access to some products doesn’t him?

Both crossed looks, Arthur pointed at a dark corner and she nooded not without grabbing a bottle of nuka-cola from one of the tables. Once they both were standing in the corner, chatting Nora gave the bottle to him and unwrapped her hair, letting it down, starting to braid it.

-Why? –he asked confused.

-I don’t want people to figure out you are talking to me

-Is actually not that big of a problem…

-Be careful or ill take it seriously

-The lipstick does make you stand, that can I say

-You say well blend just right with the amount of couples that are making out in public tonight? –both laughted, and then looked serious to each other…

No, they will stand out.

Arthur picked up her hand from behind and sqeezed it, Nora looked at one of the couples and swallowed saliva, then, nooding at him and letting the elder make the way wherever he wanted to take her.

This feeled almost criminal.

She laughted a bit and the giggle went contagious to him, they both walked silent and avoiding people until they made to the frontdeck, their spot.

Months passed since the first times they meet here, autumn was now approaching and it was getting cold outside, cold winds were replacing the old calm weather in the frontdeck but that wasn’t enough to stop them, the door wasn’t fully closed when she jumped to his lips with a big smile, he picked her up with an arm under her ass and the other pressing her back, trying to lift her.

Both laughted at how uncomfortable it was but tried to adjust, they were happy together.

Nora flipped them, Arthur facing the door this time. Her hands grabbed him by the jaw and secured the kiss, both hummed in the insides, the elder specially because Nora was caressing his beard and oh boy he loved that, the man secured her  by the sides of the hips, getting his now cold hands inside the sentinel shirt making the woman gasp and now he take the chance to take over the kiss with his tongue taking complet control over her who shivers in pleasure and cold.

Noras hands went down from his checks to the neck slowly, then placing them in his chest as she separated to take the chance to stand on tiptoe and start kissing his face, all of it, the man take the moment to relax and inhalate some air as he enjoyed the attention. She was so sweet. The hands that were on her skin turned warmer enough to go brave and squeeze gently one of her boobs, she gasped again and this time she went to eat Arthur mouth who corresponded accordly, using both hands to massage her breasts in the middle of the kiss, both went closer and deepened the kiss with their tongues as her hands went to unbelt his pants, surprising Arthur for a moment.

But he take composture again, and take her boobs off the bra inside the shirt, this time fingers playing with her nipples as she worked on open his pants…

But sluddenly the door of the frontdeck open, Nora tried to get off him but Arthur puushed her against his chest and cover her with this jacket, closing the fabric around her body

Two soldiers with bottles on their hands where looking an elder covering something something inside his jacked, very compromising position. Specially with the face full of red kiss marks

-Soldiers! These aren’t hours to do tours around the zeppelin!

-Sorry Elder Maxson! We are leaving –one of the soldiers raised a bottle laughting before closing the door with a loud crush.

Maxson let Nora go after a few seconds, she already fixed his pants and her bra while he was shit frozen of surprise, he was glad that she had his back.

-I don’t think they see you, acted fast

-Thanks –she sighted and went horrorized looking at his face –oh gosh…

-What? –he asked, looking down at himself to see what was wrong.

-Nothing…-she said raising her hands to clean his cheeks and nose, the man understanded and moved her hands away.

-Could be anyone

-But you always say that the lipstick make me stand out

-I don’t mind, lets get out of here

For a moment she panicked hard, for him mostly, but did as he said, take his hand and let him lead the way. When they were inside the Prydwen she was ashamed for what happened before and Arthur at noticing this went…silent…and cautious, being carefull to not being seen, avoiding people and running to hide in the dark spots when people approatched from the other side…she even crawled one time to avoid being seen next to him and…Arthur thought that was a bit extreme honestly, but at the same time was surprised for the quick speed of thought, alright.

Arthur wanted to leave her on her quarters at least but the way all up was so damn long and because of the reunion there was so much people walking around…in a moment they were trapped with people in the front and behind so  he had to pull her hand and kiss her against a wall, covering his face as he was holding her cheeks, the soldiers that were walking in the hallways just…kept walking, surely stranged by seeing the elder in that strange position with another soldier but okay…things happened and there was a reunion tonight so…

When there wasn’t steps nearby anymore the elder tried to separate but…Nora took him by the edges of the jacket and licked her lips before burring her tongue inside his mouth putting an arm around his back to not let him go, using the other to use the jacket as a handle.

Fuck it, if she wasn’t caring enough about something he cared too little he wasn’t going to be the responsible one, let them see, for all he knew it didn’t matter.

He pushed her again until her back meet the wall and went to kiss and suck her neck, using his arms to raise her and have a better access, desesperatly she crossed her legs around his waist making him groan loud and deep, Nora loved that and Arthur loved to feel desired, her legs situated her body better and worked along his arms to hold her hips, both were craving for the contact of their lower parts.

She was making it difficult for Maxson neither of them had a single drop of alcohol and still this behavior was beyond that, they desired  each other so much, he was magnetized to her…seeing her around and not having the chance to touch was torture.

Nora realized that they had to stop when she started to feel his hard buldge between her legs…how they weren’t still inside a room!? This was taking too much effort.

-Hey…-she called for him, pulling a bit from the back of the jacket, he wouldn’t listen, he was too busy marking her neck sucking hard and leaving it all hot and sticky–hey –she called again, avoiding to call him Arthur outside the room, less elder –hey! –this time her legs went down, and it was obvious that she wanted to stand up so the man let her go, surprised, a bit hurt, and incredibly turned on, he never felt a pain on his pants before-ill see you in my quarters in five-she said letting her braid down so that way the hair will cover the purple spots enough

Maxson picked up her arm and flip her to fall in his chest, althought this was all romantic and beautiful Nora didn’t feel like she should be there so exposed and at sight

-No need for that, I can take you just right here and now –the way he said it almost make Noras legs melt but nononono this was bad for him, she couldn’t let his penis think instead of his brain, she get up quickly and went away.

-Ill wait for you!

Arthur bited his lip, he meaned seriously, if in five minutes everybody is hearing her screams of pleasure he wouldn’t mind at all…

Five passed until he was hitting on the door like crazy, five minutes of torture.

-Who is it?

-Just open the door! –the room of the quarters just open, he see nobody inside but as soon he got in a pair of arms hug him from behind squeezing a size of chest he knewed too well.

The door closed behind, and he relaxed

-Elder i run away when you said you wanted to fuck me against the wall…I think I need a punishment for not following orders from my superior…-the way she said those words while biting his earlobe and moving her lovely hands down his chest to his stomach make him tremble and groan…

Gosh Nora loved to hear him.

So if she wanted to play like this…

-Indeed, insubordination often recibes penalizations -the man went a step forward to take off his jacket finally, as much he loved that piece of fabric he couldn’t deal anymore with the heat all over his body. It would make him mad in desesperation.

This time, her hands moved directly to work over his pants, Arthur licked his hips and look down, not looking at her yet…but he recognized her hands, the cuts and scars, the colours and shape…

-My…I hope it doesn’t leave a stain on my file…-oh they were talking like this now? He did his best to not laught but he was actually pretty turned on.

-Don’t worry, for you I can make some movements so it will go deep inside the file…-then his pants dropped and he hear a snork, she did laught –too much?

-Yes…-she appeared from behind, kissing his all red face full of lipstick, leaving a new mark- take off your shoes I want to ride you

She was already prepared, in that creamy-yellow lingerie she showed to him the other day and he said she would look beautifull. And she did, she does look beautifull tonight.

Even if that was an excelent plan…His hands went all brave to hold her asscheks and attract her close to him, she moaned with a naughty smile and her arms crossed around his neck, looking at his eyes.

-I said before that I wanted to fuck you against the wall and that’s what im doing, im being clear soldier?

-Yes elder

-To show you im serious…we are doing it against the door.

 https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14242575/6/Follow-me-inside-the-wastelands

[rinhaler]

TAKE OFF, TAKE OFF, TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHES

CHAPTER SUMMARY: It's Chigiri's birthday and everyone decides it's a perfect day to go to the nearby village to shop for secret santa gifts! Will you be able to get through one day without bickering with your ex?

ex-fiancé!rin x f!reader

WARNINGS : 18+, alcohol consumption, hate sex? + love making, dry humping, mutual pining, no prep, vaginal sex, premature ejaculation, creampie, fingering, oral, mattress humping, tit sucking, multiple rounds?, overstimulation, squirting, choking, praise, dacryphilia, pet names (princess, baby).

WORDS : 12.2k

notes : It's MY birthday too btw hehe wanted Chigiri to be the readers bestie bc he's my birthday twin oops enjoy the fic tho ♡

       LAST CHAPTER┊MASTERLIST ┊ NEXT CHAPTER

Daybreak filters through the window as your eyes begrudgingly flutter open. It seems like both you and Chigiri had forgotten to close the curtains before you passed out drunk and stoned. The mattress beneath you feels like a cloud as you stretch out; your hand comes into contact with cold, fair skin.

You blink the sleep from your eyes when you recall that Hyoma seldom sleeps without a shirt.

And your blood runs cold.

It all comes rushing back to you, then. That crushing conversation with Rin you’d had last night that made you sob and search for your best friend, leaving him alone so you could preserve his enjoyment of the evening.

“Eita.” you whisper, attempting to shake him awake.

He knocked on your door, offered you weed, and you couldn’t bring yourself to decline. Not when you were so lonely, so filled with envy and loathing as you dredged over each painful word your ex shared with you on his balcony.

“Mmpf, w’time is it?” Eita grumbles, feeling around for his phone until he finds it. “Eugh, it’s so early…”

“You have to go.” you tell him, lightly slapping him until he pays attention to you. You get out of bed and are met with the freezing air filling the room. He doesn’t listen, but he watches you with one eye slightly open as you rush to turn on the heater to warm up the room. You freeze as you look at him again, wondering why he’s shirtless if it’s so cold. “Eita… did we…”

“Mm.” he grunts, closing his eyes again. You jump onto the mattress beside him, really shaking him so he can’t possibly ignore you. “Woah, what is it?”

“We fucked?” you ask him, panicking.

“No way.” he shakes his head. “Don’t fuck drunk ‘n high girls.” he assures you.

You breathe a sigh of relief as you lie back beside him. It’s stupid to worry about Rin anymore, but you can’t help it. He said he wouldn’t care if you fucked the whole house, but did he really mean it? It seems like a violation, to you, breaking bro code or something. And, honestly, you don’t think it would reflect well on you either.

The last thing you wanted to do was cause an uproar when you’re here for a few more days.

“Eita? What happened last night?” you wonder, quietly, unsure if you want the answer.

You might not have had sex, but that doesn’t mean something else didn’t happen. If you kissed, you certainly don’t remember it. The possibilities are endless, and it makes your blood reach the same chilling temperature that fills the room.

“We jus’ smoked, baby,” he tells you, rolling over on his stomach to look at you. He’s pretty, like this. He’s pretty anyway. But the pinks and yellows breaching through the blinds softens him immensely. “You cried a lot. About Rin. ‘n then you passed out.” he closes his eyes to sleep some more.

How utterly humiliating.

Though you don’t really have time to dwell as you see him trying to sneakily sleep beside you again. You lightly tap his face, yanking the duvet away from him to reveal his toned back muscles.

He’s still wearing his jeans from the party.

“I don’t know where Chigiri is, but if anyone sees you in here, they’re gonna get the wrong idea,” you whisper, and he grunts. He takes his time, but eventually, gets up in search of his shirt and shoes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to lead you on or anything.”

“It’s okay,” he smiles back at you over his shoulder as he shoves his feet into his sneakers. “You want Rin back, yeah?”

“I—” you hesitate. Do you want him back? You still stand by the reasons you decided to end things, after all. But so many feelings have come rushing back since seeing him in the flesh again. You were missing him already before you even got here. And now, you’re so close but so far. And even further now that he’s seeing someone new.

Do you really want him back?

Or do you just want what you can’t have?

“Either way, you don’t need me right now.” he tells you, pulling his shirt over his head. “Your loss, by the way.” he laughs.

“Hah, really?” you laugh too.

“Big time, I’m definitely a better fuck than Itoshi. Both of them,” he winks, biting his lip before heading for the door. “If you change your mind, I’ll be around.” he salutes before sneaking out and shutting the door behind him.

The cold air hits you like a brick as you run to lock the door after him, but you hurry back to warmth soon after. You starfish in the bed when you realise you have the space to yourself again, and your eyes slowly close. A few more minutes sleep won’t hurt, right? No one else seems to be awake yet.

He didn’t even tell you what time it is.

You roll over and grab your phone from the side table and wince when you see that it’s only 8am. It’s sickening, so much so that you practically throw your phone back down and get in a comfortable position to sleep.

It’s short lived, though, you get fifteen minutes of resting your eyes at most before you hear knocking at the door.

It makes you grumble, like a man. Like your dad specifically. It horrifies you enough to make you stir and clamber out of bed. It’s grotesque, you think, inheriting such an uncouth trait.

You’ll have to train yourself out of it.

You unlock the door, and you aren’t sure why you’re surprised to see Chigiri step through. He stares at you silently as you lock the door again, he doesn’t even follow you into bed when you cover your barely clothed limbs.

“Something happened last night.” he tells you, looking worried.

“What?” you wonder. “What did you do?”

He looks so serious, and it makes your heart race. Did you do something embarrassing? Probably, but that isn’t anything new. His silence makes your body flush with warmth. The nerves and anxiety you feel begin to course through every nerve ending you possess, and soon enough you’re throwing the blankets away from your body.

He looks into your eyes before thinking about what he should say. And after losing all composure, he starts laughing. “Nothing, just wanted to see what it feels like to be you for a second.” he smirks, “You do that shit everyday? Exhausting.”

“You’re such a dick.” you chastise him, getting comfy in the bed again. And now, finally, he joins you. “Have you got a hangover?”

“Big time.” he tells you. You grab some painkillers from your side table and pop out enough from the silvery film for you and Chigiri to consume. “Something happened last night, right?” he asks.

“Don’t get me started.” you sigh.

“I came up here to come to bed, the door was locked.” he tells you, “So I woke up with Tabito on the couch, Sae on the floor and Oliver on the coffee table.”

You laugh, rolling on your side so you can face each other and gossip. The state everyone is in today is no surprise. Though you suspect the only one not nursing a hangover is probably Rin. You didn’t see him drink all that much, and he doesn’t get high.

He’s probably doing his morning routine right now.

A routine he got you into when you first started dating. You wanted to impress him, after all. But his yoga routines are far out of your league. You used to end up giggling on your back after a fall while he laughed along with you.

But you liked doing the meditation afterwards.

“Rin almost kissed me last night, I think…” you contemplate it, though you admittedly aren’t sure if it’s a fabrication. “It was really intense, but he rejected me.”

“Damn.” he replies, “Wait, so you were in here alone? Why did you lock the door?!”

“Eita spent the night…” you sigh, covering your face with your pillow. Chigiri teases you, trying to pull it away to inspect your facial expressions. He’s laughing, loudly, unable to believe what he’s hearing. “He told me that we just got high, and I cried about Rin.” you confess.

“You are floundering.” he tells you, and you nod. “He’s into you, you’re into him, Ryusei made him sound like a major player so he’s probably a good fuck. Rin gave you your answer, you should have sealed the deal!” he continues, and all you can do is groan. Because he’s right.

How long is it going to take to get over Rin, anyway? Why should you spare his feelings when he clearly has no desire to do the same for you?

Eita isn’t what you want right now, though.

His pretty face and his alleged impeccable stroke game isn’t going to change that.

“Rin was jealous last night.” Chigiri admits, and it grabs your attention instantly. “Ryusei was, too. But Rin was really jealous.”

“Really?”

He nods, “When you were dancing with Eita, I was trying to keep an eye on him.” you get comfortable and make full eye contact with him again as he speaks. “While we were playing never have I ever, too. When Eita and Oliver were all over you, he looked pissed.”

“Interesting…”

“His girlfriend’s gotta be a rebound.” he theorizes, and for whatever reason, it gives you chills. Both of your eyes widen at the same time, and no doubt you’ve arrived at the same idea. “We need to get more info.”

“Ryusei wants to talk to me at some point, I’ll ask him.” you tell Hyoma, and he nods, concurring that it’s a good idea. “You need to talk to Sae. He might know something.”

“He didn’t even know Rin was coming,” Chigiri rolls his eyes, but relents. “Fine.”

The two of you go downstairs, surprisingly greeted by everyone else. Everyone’s crowded around the kitchen island again. The smell of bacon, eggs and toast floods your nostrils as you descend and reach the kitchen.

You sit in between Oliver and Chigiri, the former not paying you too much attention other than a polite hello. Ryusei catches your eye as he tilts his head, waving when you finally make eye contact. His face looks serious, intentional, he’s waiting for that talk you silently agreed to.

“Surprised you’re cooking for us all, Rin.” Hyoma speaks, resting his elbow on the countertop before settling his head in his hand.

“Yeah, well,” he speaks quietly but with a slight gruffness. “It’s fine.”

He carefully sets down two plates in front of you all. Eita and Ryusei are already eating, so Oliver reaches for the nearest plate. Rin scowls at him, harshly trapping his hand between the plate and the spatula he’s holding.

“That’s not for you.” Rin tells him, and he moves his hand. You watch him as he pushes the plate in your direction, looking at you briefly before he looks back at Oliver. “Here.” he continues, pushing the other plate towards his hungry friend.

Hyoma is thankful that Rin seems too preoccupied trying to shield his face from you to notice how his eyes have widened and he can’t control the smirk on his face. You haven’t noticed, either, but Sae raises a suspicious eyebrow as he looks at your best friend. Though, luckily, he doesn’t comment on it.

You look down at the plate, realising why he wanted you to have this plate. He’s cut your toast into triangles how he knows you like, and they are the perfect shade of golden brown with butter dreamily melting into it. He cut the fat off your bacon and fried it until it was crispy.

You look at Oliver’s plate, seeing how little care have gone into the eggs. The yolks are messy and broken, whereas yours are perfect.

“Thank you, Rinni— Rin.” you smile, picking up your cutlery as you start to dig in. He doesn’t say anything, he just smiles weakly as he nods. He washes his hands in the sink as his brother places a plate down in front of Chigiri. He sits opposite to him with a plate of his own.

Your smile fades as you watch Rin walk away without sitting down with a plate of his own.

“Where’re you going?” Ryusei asks, cheeks full of food as he talks.

“Not hungry.” he responds, retreating upstairs.

You sigh, losing your appetite despite the food looking so perfectly appealing. Hyoma leans over to you, whispering that you need to eat as he watches you play with your food. He’s right, as usual, so you force yourself to take a few bites. Your eyes meet Ryusei’s as you look up, and you see an expression of concern and worry on his face.

It forces you to continue eating. You don’t want to worry everyone, after all.

But you yourself are worried about Rin.

He could be telling the truth, of course. It’s possible that he really isn’t hungry. But what if it’s your fault? Maybe he can’t stomach the idea of being around you. Eating around you. He might not even want to breathe the same air as you after last night.

Breakfast… he made it for you specifically, though.

Why would he do that if he hated you so much?

“He’s almost finished eating,” Hyoma whispers, gesturing to Shidou’s plate. “Eat your food, pull him aside, and I’ll see if I can find out anything from Sae.” he continues.

You take a few more bites and push your plate aside. Chigiri waits for you to do as he had told you, but you whisper to him instead.

“Why do you think Rin isn’t eating?” you ask, “I should make him breakfast since he did the same for me!” you smile, excitedly.

“Aw!” he smiles back, a little too widely to be sincere. “Your cooking is disgusting. You’re trying to get him back, not kill him.”

“Oh my God it isn’t that ba—”

“Hey, didn’t you need to talk to Shidou about something?” he says, loudly, pulling everyone’s attention from their food to look at your exchange. No one is more captivated than Shidou himself, however, who picks up both of your plates and moves them closer to the sink. “I’ll wash up, dude, don’t worry.” Chigiri says as he stands to his feet, shooting you a final, warning glare before walking to the sink.

You smile at Ryusei, leading him over to the empty lounge. He lights the wood logs in the fireplace after seeing your skin break out in goosebumps. The couch feels tight as you sit together, despite being so far apart. His arm rests over the back while he rests an ankle on his knee, and you’re sitting cross-legged with your back against the furniture’s arm.

It’s awkward.

There’s an obvious tension that you don’t feel qualified to break. He’s formulating words, you can see him thinking of what to say since he’s older and should therefore be more mature. He’s the one who hurt you, unintentionally of course, so he should try and alleviate this heavy feeling of unease.

“I’m sorry about yesterday,” he starts. “If I did anything to give you the wrong idea… I’m sorry.”

“No, I was being a brat, I’m sorry.” you tell him, trying your best to not let your bruised ego interfere with a friendship you do value wholeheartedly. “You were right, I was hurting and then I lashed out because I was embarrassed.”

“You know I’d fuck you in a heartbeat if you weren’t Rin’s girl, yeah?” he laughs, tilting your head up by the chin with his finger as he urges you to look at him. “I know you aren’t together, but it’s a red line to me.”

“I understand…” you nod, “Are you going to tell him?”

He shakes his head, “There’s nothing to tell. Nothin’ happened.” he smiles at you. He pulls you into his arms and hugs you tightly. It makes you giggle; you can’t help yourself. Ryusei always seems to make you feel lighter whenever you talk to him.

He’s sweet.

Really sweet.

And often times, severely misunderstood. You’ve known him since he was young, he’s thirty, now. You remember meeting him when you hadn’t been with Rin for too long. He told you about how they’d fight, physically. He told you he was crazy and unhinged, this that and the other.

But you got to know him, you suppose.

You got to see a softer side of him and one that cares deeply. And he does care for you, even still. He’ll care about you for as long as he lives, you can see it plainly as he holds you in his arms, looking up into his eyes.

He looks at you like you’re his everything, sometimes.

You melt into his arms when you hear him lightly sniff your strawberry scented hair, it makes him hold you tighter. His head drops, levelling his mouth with your ear.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” he wonders.

You stiffen, and he feels it. He rubs your shoulders lightly with his thumbs, encouraging you to share in your own time. Whether it’s now, or in an hour.

He’s got you.

“Rin— His… girlfriend,” you gulp, fighting tears as they threaten to form and douse your cheeks for the second day in a row. “Do you know anything?”

“I know the same as you,” he confesses, feeling a pang on guilt in his heart as he hears you sigh in disappointment. “You ended things, baby, are ya jealous?”

“I’m starting to think I made a mistake…” you admit, looking into his eyes. “Help me, Ryu, please. I want to know if there’s still a chance with him.”

He just huffs and shrugs his shoulders.

Realistically there’s not much he can do to help. And you know that. You know how stubborn Rin can be, and what’s worse, he’s so private about his personal life. It used to be you that he was so secretive about. The only pictures on his Instagram profile were ones of you and him.

Just two pictures.

One of your birthday.

Another of your engagement.

They’re both gone, now. It breaks your heart to think about. He might replace them one day with photos of her. The thought of another woman wearing his grandmother’s ring makes anxiety surge through your nerve endings. Your body eases, though, when you feel Ryusei’s protective hold get stronger.

“I’ll find out what I can for you…” he whispers, “Just don’t get your hopes up.”

You nod, closing your eyes peacefully when you feel him place a delicate kiss into your temple. Chigiri looks over at you, shrugging, as if he’s asking for news. But you just shake your head, leaving both of you disappointed.

“Sae doesn’t know anything either.” Chigiri tells you now that you’re finally alone together again in the room you’re sharing. You grunt as you sit down on the bed with him, pouting that your little scheme has failed before it even took flight. “Are we giving up?”

“I guess, what else can we do?” you sigh. It was a noble thought that you’d be able to get some information and find a way to get your fairytale ending, but this is real life. Of course that wasn’t an option. “Anyway, it’s your birthday tomorrow. We should be focusing on that. Sae said he wanted to plan something.”

“We talked about it last night… he suggested going to one of the bars in town.” he explains. “Maybe we could do the secret Santa shopping too. Who did you get?” he wonders.

“Um…” you get off the bed, moving a few things around in the room as you try and recall where you left the jagged piece of cardboard with your recipient’s name written on. You find it in a crumpled pile of last night’s clothes and panties, handing it to Chigiri to read.

“Sae! At least you know him well enough to get something for him.” he smiles, giving it back to you.

“I was hoping I’d get you or Ryusei to be honest… or, never mind.” you speak quietly, regretting wanting to bring Rin up again when you’d tried to change the subject in the first place. “Who did you get?” you wonder.

He smirks, pulling his own piece of cardboard out of his pocket before showing it to you. Your face drops, and he can’t help but laugh, sticking his tongue out as he waves it around teasingly.

Rin.

“Give me it.” you demand. You reach out to grab it, but he snatches it from your reach. “Fucking give me it!” you leap on him, fighting with him as he carries on keeping it away from you.

“You fucking psycho!” he laughs, losing the upper hand as he lowers his hands to hold his aching stomach. “I was gonna give it to you anyway, idiot.”

“This is a gamechanger.” you smile, triumphantly holding the bent and torn piece of cardboard. “He almost kissed me. He was jealous. He made me breakfa—”

“He made everyone breakfast.”

“We’ve got history!” you steal the conversation back from him as he interrupts you, glaring at him with a new determination in your eyes. He watches you as you speak, knowing that you’re definitely onto something. There is so much history between you. And if you can pull of a simple, romantic gesture, he might bare his heart to you again. “Good things always happen on your birthday. I’m more excited than usual.”

“Because it’s my special day and you love me, right?” he rolls his eyes. “Not because you’re scheming to get your ex back.”

“I’m very excited for your special day and I love you very much, Chigs.” you laugh, chubbing his cheeks as you bend down from where you’re standing to tease him. “I’ll give up after this, for real. If he doesn’t want me, fine! But I think there’s still a chance…”

You aren’t sure if that’s entirely true though.

Maybe it’s your imagination.

Maybe it’s just hope.

“Who’s gonna be the designated drivers?” Karasu wonders, scanning around the room as he contemplates who will fill the roles. “We’ll need two, minimum.”

“I don’t mind staying sober.” you pipe up, shrugging and smiling happily. You got wasted on your first night here and, honestly, your stomach is still raw. You look upstairs as you hear a creak of the wood floor, the only person not present is the birthday boy himself. So, your face lights up, eager to finally see him and give him his gifts. “It’s Hyoma’s birthday, so he isn’t driving, decide the rest amongst yourselves.” you tell them as you stand up and rush towards your shared room.

The guys nod, all looking at each other as they try and come to a decision.

“I don’t care.” Rin announces, taking a drink of his coffee. “I’ll drive.”

“We should have one more to be safe,” Sae suggests, and they all groan, disappointed that Rin hadn’t gotten them all off the hook. It’s a choice between five, and none of them seem willing to be gracious enough to offer. “Fine. Let’s draw straws.”

You knock on the door to your room before entering immediately after, a wide grin sprawled across your face.

“Good morning! Happy birthday~!” you squeal, rushing over to your best friend to give him a tight, loving squeeze. He laughs, thanking you gratefully. He watches you as you grab the tall bag full of gifts and hand it to him. “If there’s anything you don’t like, jus’ lemme know and we can return or exchange!” you tell him, and he nods.

Though, as expected, your taste is perfect.

He pulls out each meticulously wrapped gift and is happy with each and every item you’ve gotten him. You’ve gotten the perfect mix of presents for him. Some clothes, accessories, and jewellery you were certain he’d like.

“This must have cost a fortune, you didn’t have to spend so much y’know.” he smiles, happily, holding a designer sweater you’d gotten him with an intricate design. You think nothing of it, though. If you could buy gifts for your atrocious little step siblings, you didn’t mind doing the same for your best friend. “I might wear this today!”

“You should! We’ve just been picking designated drivers.” you inform him. “I’m not drinking tonight, but I told them you aren’t driving since it’s your special day.”

“You aren’t?”

“I want a clear head today… it’s gonna be a long day.” you explain, and he nods. “We’ll probably be leaving soon so we should start getting dressed.” you tell him, standing up and crumpling all of the wrapping paper into a ball. You toss it aside before you decide to sit and start getting ready again.

“I’m gonna say good morning to everyone.” he smiles, waving.

You’re alone in the room, now, thinking about what’s to come. You don’t know how you should wear your hair or do your makeup. You aren’t sure how to dress comfortably for a shopping day whilst simultaneously looking hot enough to go for drinks and party after.

There’s an unnecessary pressure you’re letting weigh down on you. You want to impress Rin. You want to leave an impression. It’s silly, really. He knows you through and through. Every deep, saccharine inch of you, better than anyone else ever will. But here you are, preening yourself for his benefit more than your own.

It feels somewhat in vain, deep down.

Why are you trying to put on a mask for a man that knows you so, so intimately?

“You look really good,” Chigiri comments, leaning across the centre console to whisper in hushed tones. You offer a giddy, accomplished smile as you thank him, Eita and Oliver agree with him as they seem to overhear even over the pop music blasting through the speakers.

Cosy was the right move when you decided on your look for the day, though you may look like you’re heading for a day on some ski slopes rather than shopping and partying.

You’re dressed head to toe in white. Earmuffs, fuzzy coat and boots, and a skin tight jumpsuit. You even have white mittens ready to wear when you get out of the car.

“So… we’re splitting up. Looking for gifts. And then meeting at the bar in a few hours?” you ask the boys, who all nod.

“I already know what I’m getting so I’ll be going straight to the bar when I’m done.” Eita announces.

“Me too.” Oliver tells him, laughing.

You shake your head as you watch them joke around like kids, but with a joyous smile on your face. They must have something simple and generic in mind to be able to purchase their gifts to quickly. Though, knowing them, it’s probably alcohol.

There are butterflies in your stomach as you approach the nearby village town, you look into the rearview mirror to see Rin is still following closely behind.

You wonder how frustrated he is with Ryusei annoying him in the passenger seat.

You take a deep breath as you park, watching him pull up beside you. Everyone gets out quickly, eager to stretch their legs after the thirty-minute drive. You sigh as Rin walks away rapidly; his face buried in his phone without even bothering to say goodbye.

Chigiri shrugs at you, and everyone disperses through the village in different directions.

“I don’t even know where to start…” you confess, looking between each of the cutesy looking stores.

You enter a few, browsing, hoping something will leap out at you. An accessory you know he might like or maybe even a keepsake that might remind him of you whenever he sees it. But it starts to feel hopeless after you leave the 7th little shop you come across.

Otoya and Karasu pass by you, laughing as you enter while they’re leaving.

You dread to think what they’ve bought.

“I bet they’ve bought dirty magazines or something stupid.” Chigiri suspects, shaking his head in amusement as he thinks about how loud they were laughing. You grin, thinking about how the other guys would react to receiving such a scandalous, silly gift.

You try a few more places, and even revisit some others. But you’re about ready to give up as time keeps going on and on. Hyoma hasn’t had much luck finding something for the elder Itoshi sibling, either.

You’re both close to just buying some local sweets and calling it a day.

“Well this has been a disaster,” you huff, “So much for this being a gamechanger!”

“We haven’t been down here yet.” he points to an alleyway with a few more stores.

You enter through the hefty double doors of one, observing what kinds of things they have on the shelves. You’re both immediately excited when you realise you’re in a charity shop. You’re all too familiar with some of the treasures some people give away, some of your favourite outfits are things you’ve found through being thrifty.

“Oh this is perfect!” you beam, looking through each shelf at all of the little trinkets. Chigiri separates from you as he starts sifting through the clothes, wondering if he can find a novelty shirt of some kind as gag gift.

“There are DVDs over here, maybe we should get some to watch if we get bored?” he suggests. “They’re so cheap.”

“Oh cool!” you smile, approaching him to look through the selection together. “Ah! Oh my God, get this for Sae!” you tell him as you pull a DVD down from the shelf and hand it to him. “It’s his favourite!”

“Taxi Driver? Okay.” he scoffs, but keeps hold of it. At the very least, he knows Sae will definitely like it. Though he’s sure if it’s his favourite he probably already owns it in some form. “I’ve never seen it.”

“Every time he tried to make us watch it, I always fell asleep.” you giggle. Your eyes scan across the DVDs as you carry on walking through the shop. And then you realise you’ve walked too far when you see the spines change in height and width. “Oh, CDs!” you speak excitedly as you look through all of the old bands and albums on the shelves.

You grimace in confusion as your eyes settle on a familiar album amongst all of the other more obscure ones. Surely not, you think. But you place your finger on the top and wiggle it out from being suffocated between the rest.

“Hyoma!” you squeal, flipping it for him to see. His eyes drop to see Lana’s Lust for Life album in your hand. He seems confused, though, as his eyes flit between yours and the CD you’re holding. “It’s a sign!”

“Is it?” he asks, sceptically.

“Yes! He got me this on vinyl for my birthday a few years ago!” you explain, and he looks sympathetic rather than supportive. “I— am I being stupid? I was thinking it might remind him of us.”

“No, no, it’s a good idea.” he tells you, holding your shoulders supportively. “Let’s go pay and get to the bar.” he continues, holding a few DVDs in his hands.

You grab your purse, offering to cover everything as the cashier helps you bag everything and rings you up. It’s cheap, and yet, you feel accomplished. You were starting to doubt whether you’d actually be able to find anything for him. If Chigiri hadn’t pointed this place out, you’d be giving him a poxy box of sweets on Christmas morning.

Although, the sweets might be a nice additional gift.

~

The guys slowly but surely begin filtering into the bar with their shopping bags. You’ve been here with Chigiri for a little while, but Oliver, Tabito and Eita were the first ones here when you arrived.

Ryusei sits down beside you when he comes in next, and Rin isn’t far behind him. Everyone cheers when Sae comes in last, and you can’t help but notice everyone’s shopping bags seem to look similar in some way or another.

“The shops are so dead.” Sae tells you all, and everyone happens to agree.

You aren’t sure what they all expected, though. It’s a small village town in the middle of nowhere. It’s not like you’re in a bustling city with anything and everything at your fingertips. It made shopping more fun, you thought. It gave you the opportunity to really look around until you found something special.

“I’ll get drinks,” Rysuei announces as he stands up. He makes a mental note of what everyone wants, knowing he’ll probably forget when he goes to the bar.

“Move down, Rin, I need to talk to Ryusei.” Sae instructs his little brother. Rin looks at Ryusei’s empty seat, and then at you. It makes your heart race when his pretty teal eyes meet yours. He looks worried, for some reason, but masks it well as he shuffles from his seat to the one closer to you.

Your eyes wander as they meet Sae’s, and he winks at you casually.

Hyoma never did tell you what he and Sae talked about, only that he couldn’t get any information, either. But from this simple act, it seems Hyoma has revealed your true feelings for his brother to him.

And you’re happy.

Because this small gesture indicates that you have his support.

You don’t say anything, not right away, as he settles down beside you. You’re surprised he isn’t toying with his phone like he has been endlessly since he got here. It makes your throat tighten to think he might be doing it so that you don’t see his texts with his new girlfriend.

“How did shopping go?” you ask him, hoping to break the ice and stop yourself from spiralling about a woman you don’t even know the name of.

“Fine, I think,” he tells you. “I think everyone’s gonna be disappointed with what they get.”

“I don’t know… it’s part of the fun.” you reply. “If we wanted to go all out, we would have planned to do this before we got here so we could order perfect, expensive things. But having a little budget and no idea was a change of pace.”

“What did you buy?” he wonders.

“I got some sweets to eat when we get back.” you smile. It makes him smile, too, causing you to giggle like a schoolgirl. You hadn’t expected to see his face change like that because of something you said. It’s warm, thawing away at your frozen heart.

“Happy birthday, Chigiri.” Ryusei says as he gives your best friend his drink first. You already know that Hyoma isn’t going to have to pay for a single drink himself while he’s here, it’s everyone’s birthday offering to him. Rin doesn’t pay Ryusei any mind as he sits down in his previous seat, too busy focusing on chatting with you.

It makes you feel special.

It makes you feel wanted.

“Rin?” you whisper, leaning over to him. He looks at you, a serious expression on his face as he senses your desperation. You’re trying not to be so needy, but you just can’t help it. “… I’m glad you decided to come along.”

It’s not what you wanted to say and not what he expected to hear. Although, you aren’t sure what you actually do want to say to him. Telling him you still harbour feelings will surely only end in tears when you know you can’t have him.

He isn’t yours anymore.

“Yeah? Well, it hasn’t been as painful as I expected it to be.” he tells you. And even that, such a simple, sulky sentence makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. Maybe it’s because you know it’s oh so quintessentially Rin Itoshi. “You did scare me, when I saw you on the stairs.”

“You scared me too…” you admit. “I—”

“It happened, it’s fine. We’re fine.” he tells you, taking a sip of the lemonade Ryusei had ordered for him. You decided to stick to water, the freezing ice cubes bump against your lips as you drink heartily. “I heard Otoya go into your room the other night. After we— talked.”

“Nothing happened…” you respond, drinking more water to cover how your expression fills with shame and regret. He nods, understanding. “S-So, your girlfriend. Tell me about her…” you ask, reluctantly. And you’re a little surprised when he shakes his head.

“I’m not doing this,” he speaks. “We’re fine. I’m being civil. You aren’t entitled to know about my personal life just because I’m tolerating you.”

“Tolerating me? Really?”

“Yes, tolerating you.” he continues. “You lost the right to know about me when you left.”

“God, Rin, I barely knew you then.” you huff, crossing one leg over the other as you slightly angle your back to him. He puts his arm around the back of your seat and positions himself awful close. It startles you when you turn back to face him.

“What are you talking about?” he asks.

“You were so distant. All you cared about was football.” you inform him, doing your best to keep your voice lowered so that you don’t make a scene. The last thing you wanted was to ruin your best friend’s birthday because you had a momentary lapse of judgement.

Maybe exes are exes for a reason.

“Because it’s my job? My career.”

“And I have a career too, but I still remembered to ask how your day was. You stopped talking to me unless it was about our schedules.”

“You—” he huffs, moving away from you. You’re a little taken aback when he stands up with the intention of leaving. He pulls out some money and tells Hyoma to get himself a drink, on him, as a birthday gift.

Everyone looks a little lost for words when he ups and leaves. But then there’s a sigh of relief when they remembered they appointed Karasu to be another designated driver.

It’s not sitting right with you, though.

It almost felt like you were close to a breakthrough. You were getting into the nitty gritty of why your relationship fell apart in the first place, and, as usual, he doesn’t want to acknowledge it. You gather your things and decide to chase after him, knowing you can’t leave things like this.

You won’t even be able to call yourselves friends if you don’t figure this out.

“You’re stalking me, now?” Rin chuckles as he ducks into Sae’s car and locks the door. You try knocking on the window for him to let you in, but you’re speechless when he just drives off instead.

You fumble with the keys to Chigiri’s car until you manage to unlock it.

He’s not running away from you again.

As much as he wanted to break the speed limit to escape you, there was no point. You knew he was heading home so you’d find him eventually. Besides, he didn’t want to risk either of you slipping on the ice and winding up dead.

So he kept to a steady pace, enjoying the thirty minutes of peace on the drive down to the cabin before what he could only assume would be a shouting match between the two of you.

“Rin!” you yell as you get out of the car, slamming the door. It would make him laugh if he wasn’t so frustrated, you always did prove him right about things like this. He gets out of Sae’s car and slams the door, not even bothering to look at you as he walks up the stairs to the cabin.

He unlocks the door with ease before strutting in. It’s hard to keep up with his long strides, especially in the wet, slippery snow. You do what you can to speed after him, even taking the stairs two at a time so that you can get inside quicker.

You spot him in the kitchen as if nothing had happened. He’s standing by the kettle as he boils some water to make tea. He looks at you, casually, before looking back at the steam gently rising through the spout.

“You’re so childish? How didn’t I realise how fucking childish you are on top of everything?!” you shout as you walk over to the platform that separates the kitchen from the entryway. He still looks intent on keeping his mouth shut. And it’s making you crazy. “Will you say something?”

“What do you want?” he retorts, instantly. He looks at you briefly before pouring the water into a novelty Christmas mug. It’s tacky and hideous and you’re sure he hates it, but it must have been the first thing he saw to use. He leans back against the counter behind him while he uses a spoon to press the flavour from the tea bag.

“I— tell me you hate me, call me a bitch, I don’t know!” you demand. “I hate this tension, Rinnie, because every time I think things are okay, you freeze up and it’s—”

“I can’t tell if you’re… joking?” he smirks. “You, literally, broke my heart with no explanation. I’ve spent months trying to move on and then you show up out of nowhere and you’re trying to be best friends. I don’t want to be friends with you.”

“So what do you want?!”

“I want you to leave me alone.” he raises his voice, and it’s harsh. But instead of hurting you, it makes you angrier. You blood boils as you round the counter to get closer to him as he speaks. He puts down the tea he made as you get closer, using hand gestures wildly as he talks to get his point across. “You shouldn’t have come here. Because you shouldn’t have been keeping in touch with my family after we broke up. It’s such a fucking red line, it’s violating.”

“Oh, well, fuck me for wanting to know how you’re doing after everything. You know, since you completely cut me off. I was worried and you wouldn’t even text me to tell you when you were coming to get your stuff!”

“This is your problem,” he wags his finger with a smile before holding it to his lips as he thinks of how to tell you exactly how he feels. “You’re so fucking entitled. I’m being nice to you after you hurt me, and you think you deserve to know me again.”

“No, this is your problem!” you bite back, walking away from him before closing the gap again. You look up at him with watery eyes as he towers over you. Your heart aches as you feel the distance between you expand the more you talk about the past. But it has to happen. Even if you lose him forever, you can’t carry all of this pain with you forever. “You shut people out when they care! I want you to be happy and I want us to be friends, but you won’t talk to me! I broke up with you because when you were neglecting me, I felt lonelier than I did when I was actually alone.”

“I didn’t neglect you, I loved you. What was really the problem? Huh?” he asks, getting closer to you. And you have to crane your neck just to keep eye contact with him. He can’t ignore how glittery your eyes are as you hold back tears. You’re covering your sadness with rage, that much is clear to him. But he doesn’t want to stop. Not now, not when you’ve driven him to the point of no return with your incessant complaints. “I was too busy for you, yeah? You didn’t miss me, missed me taking you on fancy dates so you had something to brag about on Instagram.”

“… fuck you.” you say, quietly, your voice gets trapped in your throat as you try and figure out how to pull away from this confrontation with your dignity intact. It’s too late though. He’s already witnessed a lone tear fall down your cheek. “Do you hate me that much? Do you think that little of me?”

He doesn’t.

“Princess…” he sighs, tilting your head up with his thumb and forefinger so that you’re fixated on his eyes. Teal whirlpools with flecks of turquoise that create a scintillating visage that cannot be described by a mere mortal. No, they are deep lagoons that you want to drown in. They soften as he names you the only way you’d want to be named by him. Not your birth name, but as royalty. His princess. “I don’t think about you at all.”

Your heart shatters and he sees so clearly how your vision breaks. Should you keep looking at him or somewhere else entirely. His face is stoic, as usual, though he cups your face like you’re precious. Like you are the princess you want to believe you are, for him.

The energy in your body has depleted and you can’t even bring yourself to push him away. All you have is words. And, even then, you’re drawing a blank. So you sink, deep. Lower than the depths of hell to truly muster three little words you simply don’t mean.

“I hate you.”

He doesn’t react, not fully. But the colour of his eyes dull as the words reach his ears.

“I fucking despise you.” he retorts.

You do nought but stare.

Both of you.

You just stand there, indignantly staring into each other’s eyes as you process the situation. Your chest heaves and your body trembles with fury. You didn’t mean it, not really. In this moment, you suppose you do hate him a little. But you’ll never know if Rin means it.

Part of you assumes he’s only saying it to hurt you like you hurt him. He said what you said but increased the severity of his words just to twist the knife into your bloodied heart. But maybe he does truly feel this way. Maybe he’s felt nothing but disdain towards you since you broke up with him all of those months ago.

Why would he feel anything positive when it comes to you?

Especially since he’s moved on.

“I hate you, Rinnie…” you reiterate, lip wobbling as your tears spill more and more.

“I don’t believe you.” he says, wiping your tears with his thumbs.

You scan his face, and he doesn’t move an inch. It gives you pause for a moment as you contemplate what you’re feeling. But there are no thoughts in your brain, it’s silent. Blood pumps through you, and emotions overtake you as you lunge forward.

The distance between you is gone as you press your lips against his. He doesn’t tease you, this time. He doesn’t pull away. He kisses you back. You feel his hands explore your body, large palms settling in the slopes of your waist before they lower to your thighs.

You could never hate him.

His hands on your body make you feel whole again. He himself can barely believe how lovestruck you are in the way that you moan softly and breathe deeply from just his hands roaming your body. He lifts you up, and you wrap your legs around his waist as he deposits you on the countertop.

You lose yourself to loving squeezes and open-mouthed kisses as he grinds his hips between your spread legs, his tea long since abandoned in favour or tormenting what he knows to be your intricate, sopping flesh.

“You hate me, baby?” he asks, mumbling against your glossy, drooling lips. “S’that right? You hate me? Say it again, princess, say you hate me.”

“D— Don’t—!” you tell him, lips too eager to be smothered by his to answer him properly. You’re worried a truth might stray from your loose lips while you’re with him like this. You fight it, you really fight it. “I hate you, so much. R-Rinnie…” you tell him, and it feels honest. You’re substituting one word for another, and it feels so powerful as you lie to him with ease. He doesn’t stop, though.

If anything, everything intensifies.

“Yeah?” he asks, licking the tip of his tongue against yours tormentingly. He pulls away and rests his forehead against yours. “I’ll stop, then.”

“No, please,” you beg and it’s downright pathetic. Your own hips roll to meet his movements. You hump against each other pitifully, the desperation and friction being enough to leave you heady and delirious and most of all satisfied that it’s thanks to Rin Itoshi. “Don’t stop, please.” you whimper, attaching your lips to his as he continues.

Your poignant words lead him to growl against your skin. It’s so primal. So territorial as he pushes your jacket off your shoulders and down your arms. You help him in his efforts to take it off, shoving it until it slides and puddles on the ground.

“God I missed you.” you hear him mumble against your skin. Your heart beats faster as you feel him caress every inch of your body, hands resting on the swell of your tits as he thinks about what he wants to do to you.

You feel your truth being coaxed out of you with each passing second. Every ingratiating word the is meticulously embedded from his tongue and into your brain makes you desperate to tell him how you really feel and beg that he feels the same.

“Rinnie, I—”

His entire hand smothers the lower half of your face. There’s a worry in his eye as his body tenses up. And still, he can’t stop himself. He carries on humping his heavy bulge into your clothed cunt at a snail’s pace, panicked eyes turning heavy and filled with lust as he looks at how needy you are.

“Shh, baby,” he tells you, showing no signs of moving his hand.

“I can’t believe they ditched us.” you both hear a familiar voice muffled from outside. You aren’t sure why you care, but soon enough you’re both scrambling to be away from each other. You put your jacket back on after gathering it from the ground, both of you doing your best to act cool. “Here you are! What the fuck?” Tabito exclaims.

You can’t look.

Neither of you know why you’re so ashamed. So humiliated that you’d almost been caught hooking up. It’s not like it would be so scandalous, is it? You’ve made it very clear that you still have feelings for him, and yet, you don’t want anyone to know about this.

He’s the same, though, doing all he can to maintain composure.

He looks calm.

But you know him.

His eyes are blown. Full of lust and anxiety as he tries to control his breathing. No one else would notice, but you see how heavy his controlled breaths are. He gulps, scratching the back of his neck before looking around.

“I’ll get the others,” Rin tells Tabito, who can only shrug at his words.

Only Chigiri and Sae had returned with Karasu, the rest deciding to wait in the bar until someone decided to come and collect them. Tabito thought he’d have to do a return trip, not expecting Rin to spare him from repeating the journey once again. But once he has the all clear, he kicks off his shoes and sprawls on the couch.

Chigiri stares at you, and you can’t even look him in the eye for more than a second.

Why are you brimming with shame?

He almost sobers up at the sight of you. You look so vacant and dazed. It’s hard to look at him when you feel like this. Every attempt to do so, every forced little smile, only makes his concern grow. He walks towards you, but just as abruptly, he stops.

Rin walks behind you, caging your body beneath him as he traps you against the kitchen island. He doesn’t notice Chigiri staring, and he can’t look away. You turn your head a little, but not much. You’re eager to look at Rin but he levels his mouth with your ear. His breathing is laboured yet soft, and your skin pinches together as it carries through your body.

“I could never hate you, princess.” he whispers. He leaves you alone with that sentence without so much as a glance. He holds the keys to his brother’s car and heads for the exit. Chigiri watches him walk by before looking at you again. Sae looks at you both, briefly. He too is curious as to what is going on.

“That looked intense.” Hyoma speaks, finally getting close enough to have a conversation with you. You smile, and it’s feeble, but it’s all you can do as you try to think of an excuse to give him. Maybe he didn’t mean what he said about missing you. Tensions were high, after all. He has a girlfriend to think about, of course he feels ashamed. Of course, he wants to pretend this little lapse of judgement didn’t occur. “Did something happen?” your best friend asks.

“We just argued.” you lie.

You never lie to Chigiri, though you’re sure you’ll tell him once you get your bearings. You need to find out what’s going on with Rin. It’s hard to talk about something you don’t understand. You’re sure he’ll be sympathetic once you have your story straight.

You just need to talk to Rin.

You need some assurance.

You need to know where you stand.

“I think I’m gonna go to bed early.” you tell him, giving him a hug before walking away. “Happy birthday, Chigs!”

“… okay.” he looks at you, hugging you back. “I’ll try and be quiet so I don’t wake you.”

“Goodnight.” you wave, ascending the stairs and out of his line of sight.

An early night was never an option. You knew that, and Hyoma probably knew it, too.

All you did when you got to your room was scroll through Instagram. You took some time to reply to some texts you’d received from family asking how your trip was going. You hammed it up, of course, not letting slip that Rin happened to be here too.

They all called you stupid for ending things with him.

It felt right at the time. But hindsight is a wonderful thing.

You weren’t ready to deal with re-opening that wound only to hear ‘I told you so’ repeatedly.

You heard Rin get home with the other guys, though they all stayed downstairs.

It’s all the more humiliating when you think about how desperately you want Rin to appear. You need him to come and get you, and not just to pick up where you left off.

You want answers.

Though you suppose you won’t be getting them tonight.

You spent a few hours trying on different outfits and following along with makeup tutorials from YouTube before getting bored. The raucous sounds of laughter and music got louder when you walked across the hall to take a shower and wash your face clean.

The floorboards begin to creak in the direction of the stairs when you get out.

And it scares you.

You rush across the hallway and back into your room. Your hand flies to your chest, adrenaline ravishes your heart as you lean backwards against the locked door. It makes you feel vulnerable, right now. No matter who it is, you feel scared of being seen.

Your heart stops when you hear a knock at the door.

It isn’t repeated.

Just one, singular, knock.

It makes your breathing stutter and stop abruptly. You don’t dare answer, not when you’re naked, save for the towel. It could be any one of the seven men you’re sharing the house with this week. But deep down, you know.

You know who’s on the other side of that door.

The steps retreat, and your breathing calms.

Was it him? Was that really Rin Itoshi on the other side of your door? You wait until you can barely hear the steps anymore before you unlock the barrier between you and him. When the door opens, you step out, sheepishly.

He looks at you from down the hall. Those eyes of his, full of pain and longing as he stares back at you with the same intensity you’re offering him. He doesn’t speak, but he goes into his room, so you go back into yours.

You let your towels hit the floor, crumpling up in a mess as you look for some nightwear and a hairbrush. It’s like a race against time, or at least that’s how it feels as you quickly try to brush through your sopping hair.

Every passing minute feels like it’s expanding the gulf between the two of you. So you want to hurry, it needs to be resolved now.

You barely even close the door when you walk out and jog down the hall to his room. It’s hard to be quiet when you feel such urgency to see him. You hope your footsteps aren’t too loud. And you hope nobody can hear over the music where you are and what you’re doing.

It’s all you can do.

And so, you knock, quietly, waiting for him to let you in. Too much time passes. Minutes feel like hours as you wait for him to answer. Your body feels cold, wet droplets decorate your skin and your hair drips down your spine. It feels like a mistake that you came. But why would he knock if he hadn’t wanted this to happen? Maybe he regrets this, too, as well as what happened downstairs.

It hurts to think about.

But he answers, and of your anxiety leaves you like a deflating balloon. Though you’re stilled, before him, and he doesn’t move aside. It makes your worries return as if it were a cat preparing to pounce on a rat. You widen your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. It happens again and again… and again until you realise, you’re choked up.

You can’t say a thing.

So, you don’t.

You get closer to him, still trying to say something. Anything. But nothing comes out, even when you’re close enough to feel his heartbeat. You just stare at each other in his doorway, openly exposed to anyone who may decide to ascend the stairs.

“I— I missed you too, Rinnie.”

His eyes soften at your sensitivity. The way that you have no qualms in making yourself susceptible to a painful rejection.

He lets you in, kicking the door behind himself before leaning back on it.

“You missed me, huh?” he speaks, his head droops backwards until there’s a gentle thud against the wooden door. His eyes are so heavy, his gaze is narrow. And still you can’t help but seek love and comfort from him as he looks at your with such disdain. “Are you sure you aren’t just jealous because you can’t have me?”

His words are hurtful, regardless of how valid of a question it is. It’s possible, sure, but it feels like more than that. You knew when you ended things that it was the right decision. But now it feels like a mistake, something rash you did in the heat of the moment. You didn’t give him a chance. You didn’t give either of you a chance.

And now, despite everything, you want to.

“You said you missed me…” you tell him, meekly, “I mean it, Rin. Did you mean it?”

He doesn’t say anything, he just stares. You always hated it when he did this, and it feels worse now, somehow. His eyes are terrifying and yet you can’t stop staring back at him. They’re piercing, like icicles falling from a height and impaling you without remorse.

“Rin…” you speak, closing the distance between you again. Your breath hitches as you approach, shaky hands reach out to rest on his chest, and you swallow before speaking once more. “Rinnie.”

He grabs your wrists and spins you around, pinning you against the door behind you. Your heart rate is rapid, and his isn’t much better. You’re staring again, but you bite your tongue.

Your lips meet as his crash against your own. He lifts you up, just as he had hours prior, and carries you to his bed. Your breathing is heavy, you pant furiously as you roll your hips against him in a bid to alleviate the tension that has been brewing since early evening. He drops you down on the bed, his body smothers yours as he lies on top of you.

His hips roll into your soaking core, and you can’t help but moan into his mouth.

“I meant what I said,” he tells you before silencing himself with another kiss. “Fuckin’ missed you.” he wraps his arm around your back and lifts your body further up the bed with ease, determined to get your head comfortable in the pillows.

You wince as he strips you of your pyjama bottoms and peels away your panties from your dripping cunt. It’s too dark to see you, but it’s enough. The way the moonlight bleeds through his windows turns your petalled flesh into a galaxy. Between your legs lies a constellation of the prettiest stars, and there’s nothing more that he needs.

He pulls his sweater over his head, discarding it somewhere unknown as if it means nothing. It’s true, in this moment. Nothing matters but being intimately bare with each other.

Your cunt, his cunt, is committed to memory. He could recognise how your intimate folds feel among others even if blindfolded. Because you were made for him. Of this, he’s sure. Your cunt belongs to him, and you would have done well to remember that.

“I can’t wait, princess,” he explains, and you nod in understanding.

“Please, fuck me, I can’t wait anymore. Rinnie I c—can’t.”

“Shhhh,” he whispers, freeing his cock just enough from their confines to line his length up with you. You sob when you feel his pretty tip catch against your hole. And he coos so sweetly as he teases you with that feeling. Your pretty tears are like diamonds dripping from your eyes as the blinding moonlight ignites them. “I’ve always given you whatever you want, I’m not gonna stop now.” he tells you.

It's the only warning you get before he pushes into you. He sinks slowly until you’re filled up to the brim and you’re sure you can feel him in your throat. It’s like nothing has changed. Every ridge and vein feels so familiar, you’ve never known a feeling better than you know this one. A ribald dance that only the two of you know.

His tip kisses your gooey insides in the most delectable way. Just as it always had in those ethereal nights you spent with him throughout your relationship. He holds your jaw with one hand, and it’s rough. A commanding force that’s imploring you to indulge him in this.

Give him your everything, mind body and soul. He can see how your eyes want to wander. They want to stray and abandon him just like you had months ago. But he’s doing this for you, he thinks you should understand that.

The least you owe him is your loving eyes on his.

Your love is trapped in your throat as you force it to stay there. His eyes are so beautiful and his body feels like you’re home again. You want to tell him, it’s making you cry even more. You can’t help but wonder if that’s enough, alone. If he can see the love you’re pouring into the tears you shed, will he understand what you’re so scared to convey?

He surprises you, however, as he spills himself inside of you after a few deep strokes. It snaps you away from your panicked mind as you feel warmth fill you. And that feels like love, to you.

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” he tells you, stopping you from replying with a bruising kiss. “I don’t want to stop.” he pushes your little vest up your body until your tits spring free.

You moan beautifully as he sucks a nipple into his mouth, gently caressing the raised bud with his tongue. A gentle yet rough hand delicately pushes your tensing legs apart from each other, not caring in the least if his seed drips onto the sheets below. You gasp as you feel two fingers circle your sticky clit.

“Rinnie…” you whimper.

“I know.” he breaths against your damp nipple, his breath warms your skin before he sinks two heavy fingers into your needy heat. He humps his leaking, coated cock against your side as his length softens slowly. His rutting is in tandem with his fingers prodding your cum coated walls.

Your fingers run through his hair as he continues to suckle on your tits, your second-hand flies to join the first as he alternates from one nipple to the other. And he groans as you tug at his Sacramento coloured locks. The more time you’re with him like this, the more you begin to slip into old habits.

“Think I— f-fuck… Rin.” you mutter, moving your hand to grip the sheets below as he brings you to a tantalizing edge.

“Go on, princess,” he whispers into your pretty skin. “Show me how much you miss me.”

The coil snaps at his silver tongue and salacious language. He never had to try hard to convince you to submit to his commands in the past. Always so eager to please and starved for his touch. You could never get enough of him, and you’ve never been like that with a man before. He makes you greedy, and impatient.

So when he says jump, you show him how high you’re prepared to go for him.

He makes you look at him as you orgasm. Teal eyes, still somehow so radiant even in darkness, hold a neediness you haven’t seen in a long time. You cum, hard, dousing his fingers in your juices as he carries on finger fucking his cum deeper into your insides. And you feel him kiss you. It’s sloppy and pornographic as you swap spit and still moan into his mouth as he drags and pulls every trace of your orgasm from you.

You pant, relaxing your body as the tryst comes to a satisfying end.

“That was amaz—”

“I told you, I’m not ready to stop yet.” he tells you.

He sensually kisses and sucks your neck, though you’re certain it isn’t hard enough to stake his claim on you. He wouldn’t need to, anyway. You both know who you belong to, after all. You watch him as he leaves a trail of kisses down your body. His lips pepper across your collarbone before kissing between the fat of your breasts.

His shushing hits your ears as his mouth comes close to your pussy. His breath fans across your sex, and you feel just how weighty each breath is as he admires your glistening folds as if for the first time.

He gently moves one of your legs to rest over his shoulder, while he pushes the other one into your chest.

His tongue darts out, caressing your exposed clit as he keeps your legs far from each other. Your head falls back into the pillows as the angle makes you delirious. He looks up to see your facial expressions, smirking into your heat when he notices how much you’re enjoying him.

“Rinnie—” you moan, though you’re ultimately ignored. “Rin. Please!” you cry, begging for a bit of reprieve.

“You know what I want.” he tells you, quietly.

You don’t know, not until he frees your leg and sinks his fingers into your heat again. And they curl. It’s devilish and titillating and you just about scream from the feeling. You don’t tell him to stop, though. You wouldn’t dream of it. His arm wraps firmly around your thigh and keeps you fixed in place as you try to flee. But you’re trapped, fated to fall from a height until he’s satisfied.

“Let me see it,” he whispers. Your moans become strident as he digs and teases your spongy interior, searching for what’s rightfully his. He’s there. He’s right there. His jaw hangs low as your toes curl violently, and you make a sloppy mess as you cum perversely. “Goooood girl, good fucking girl. That’s how I like to see my pretty baby cum, jus’ like that.” he grins before slurping up your orgasm. Your pussy gushes like a fountain for him, and it’s everything he’s wanted and needed for months now.

He doesn’t care about getting a little wet.

He couldn’t care less that the front of his hair is almost as soaking as yours.

You hadn’t noticed while you were experiencing the bliss that is Rin Itoshi’s tongue, but he’s been rutting his length pathetically into the mattress as he devours your essence. Each lewd slurp and divine suckle, he’d been grinding his aching cock into the plush mattress below you both.

And he still is.

Pearly pre drools from his slit as he carries on, though he isn’t sure he can stop. But when your cunt stops twitching, he finds the will to proceed. He rests his hands on both of your knees as you put your legs together, waiting to see what he wants to do with you next.

He rakes his fingers through his damp locks, and your cunt flutters at the sight of him pushing his hair back. It flops back into place as he comes down to kiss you again. You wrap your arms around his back, and he moves your body with his until you’re straddling him.

“Rin, I—”

He doesn’t let you finish as he kisses you. His cock is standing to attention for you again, and he needs to be buried inside. You feel him line his length up, and he covers your mouth with his hand as you attempt to screech out in paradisical bliss as he fills you again.

“Let me do the work,” he tells you, and you nod. “But put your hand here,” he requests, grabbing your wrist until your hand envelops his neck.

You’re worried about falling backwards as he sits with you on top on the edge of his bed. But your safety doesn’t come into question as his fingers sink into your hips to keep you secure. You cry, whimper, and whine as you feel him fuck up into you.

He rewards you with harder and deeper strokes when you softly squeeze the sides of his neck, cock twitching pathetically as he realises how enamoured he is with you still.

“You’re so fucking perfect for me.” he tells you, eyes rolling back until they turn white. The gentle squeeze of your little fingers will always be his undoing.

“Rinnie I—”

“D-Don’t.” he requests, hips stuttering as the thought of you saying what he thinks you’re about to makes him spiral. His heart rate reaches heights he wasn’t sure was possible as he hopes you aren’t about to ruin this. Ruin whatever this even is.

“I love you.” you cry, “I love you s-so much.”

“Fuck,” he pants, slowing ever so slightly so he doesn’t cum before you get to again. He tucks your hair behind your ear. His hips roll and his defined body perfectly stimulates your throbbing clit. “I love you.” he confesses, quietly, kissing you sweetly after the fact.

“Nngh, fuck—!” you wince, your walls tighten around him as you start to feel yourself coming undone once again. So he fucks into you, hard, eager to help you along. “’m cumming, aah!”

You can only assume how red and sweaty his face is as he fucks into you with a passion and vigour you’ve never felt from him before. He has an unyielding need to please and remind you how much he had loved you with every deep, unrelenting stroke.

You cum with him.

And it’s transcendent.

“Did you mean it, princess?” he asks, heavy breaths huffing across your dewy skin. “Do you love me?”

“… Yes, Rinnie—” you pause. “I still love you…”

He kisses your shoulder as he wraps his arms around your torso and holds you close. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he was worried to let you go. He lies back and keeps you pressed firmly against him. He plays with your hair as you rest on him. Contentment seems to fill the room as you do nothing but lie like this together. There isn’t a sound other than exhausted breaths and beating hearts.

“I should shower and change the sheets.” he muses into your hair; it only causes you to snuggle further into him. “You should shower with me.”

“I’d like that.” you smile, giddy over the idea of seeing him under artificial lighting and witnessing how his expressions really change when he’s with you intimately.

There’s a niggling feeling, though. That everything is too good to be true. You’re sure this is real, but you have a fleeting thought of being asleep in your bedroom after saying you’d go to bed early. His heart beating against your cheek feels real, though. So does his bare flesh and gentle touch.

Everything is too perfect, though.

You wonder when the bubble will burst.

© 2023 rinhaler

[bfwonu]

my seasons were always you.

pairing: seungcheol x fem!reader genre: smut. porn with the essence of plot (18+, minors DNI). wc: 1.8k tags: bff!au AND fwb!au, reader has a vagina, oral + fingering (f receiving), poor attempts at mid-sex banter, one (1) fem term of endearment, a bit of cum eating, reader very briefly cries once out of stress/frustration (not during sex), implied pining i guess but like i'm telling you there is hardly any plot in this thing summary: you're stressed because of finals. your best friend, seungcheol, knows how to fix that– temporarily, at least.

a/n: hi hello this is the first smut piece that i've written and posted...like ever lmao! title is from 134340 by bts, which i listened to for the better part of writing this. hope u all enjoy, feedback is greatly appreciated :-) <3

You went into tonight fully intending to study, really– if you don’t for at least a couple hours per day this week you’re certain that this one final is going to kick your ass and you’d kiss your 93% in the class goodbye. 

But Seungcheol, the ever-observant friend that he is, texted you an hour into your study session saying that he noticed you seemed so tense when he ran into you the other day, and that he can help you relax a bit– that he wants to. 

And, well. Who are you to deny yourself of some stress relief?

True to his word, he’s at your apartment in less than ten minutes, first embracing you in a hug that you didn’t even know you needed; comforting hands iron out the tension in your back, causing a few tears to slip from your eyes. You mumble an apology into his chest for getting his hoodie wet, and you can hear the amused smile on his lips when he promises you don’t need to apologize for that. 

Labels are something that you’ve never really bothered to put on your relationship with Cheol. The two of you met during your sophomore year of college through some mutual friends, always thought the other was attractive, and ended up hooking up at a party. You only meant for it to be a one-time thing, but drunk decisions turned into sober ones and eventually neither of you found yourselves seeing anyone else. 

Funnily enough though, your friendship became a lot more emotionally intimate after regularly having sex with each other; you began to tell him things you had never told anyone before, went to him when you felt like you couldn’t go to anyone else. He became your comfort person, your rock. Your best friend.

The story is far from glamorous (and maybe a little bit confusing), but it’s yours. And you wouldn't trade it for anything else.

“Lemme take care of you, yeah?” Seungcheol pulls away slightly to meet your eyes with enough sincerity to make your heart swell. You have half the mind to tease him for the contrast between his tone over text compared to now, but you find yourself feeling too exhausted and too desperate to just let go for that. Instead, you pull him closer again to whisper a yes, please against his lips, connecting them not even a second later.

Your every muscle seems to melt into him, and the next few minutes pass in a lust-induced blur– gentle kisses turned heated, knees hitting the back of the bed, hands intertwined. Before you know it you’re lying on your back, oversized t-shirt pulled over your tits and Seungcheol between your legs. 

“Cheol,” you all but whine as he sucks another hickey onto your inner thigh, so close to where you need him but not close enough. “Don’t tease.”

“M’not teasing,” he chuckles, his breath ghosting over your core and your hips involuntarily cant upwards. “Just taking my time with you…

“Plus,” you gasp when he presses his thumb along the seam of your pussy through the fabric of your panties, stopping just below your clit. He smirks at the wet patch underneath his finger. “Wanted to get you a lil’ worked up first.”

You huff in annoyance, fighting the smile that wants to creep its way onto your lips. Just by being here he already makes you feel more like yourself, like all your stress and worries are far, far away (you’re sure a mind-blowing orgasm still wouldn’t hurt, though). “So cocky.”

“So impatient,” he quips back, but he obliges anyway and pulls your underwear down your legs. “Y’know you’re lucky you’re the one who’s stressed out of their mind right now, otherwise I think we both know who would be punishing who for talking back.”

You prop yourself onto your forearms and tilt your head to the side, pretending to think. He makes it so easy sometimes. “Hmm…I dunno, depends on the day.”

It’s his turn to huff now, shaking his head fondly and muttering brat under his breath before he’s licking a bold stripe up your cunt, causing you to loll your head back and bite back a low moan. One of your hands flies down to grab onto his hair as he moves his tongue over your clit, every witty bone in your body going limp when he groans at the sensation and takes the bud into his mouth. 

Eventually, Seungcheol replaces his lips with a thumb on your clit so he can switch between running his tongue up and down the seam of your pussy and pushing the muscle past your entrance. You’re hardly able to keep quiet any longer, each exhale accompanied with a breathy whine as he repeats this over and over, practically making out with your cunt.

He laps at your entrance one last time before taking his mouth off of you. Even with your eyes fixed on the ceiling you can feel his gaze on you, hear the smug lilt in his voice. “Don’t have that much to say now, huh?”

You want nothing more than to bite back, but the man’s thumb is still messily rubbing your clit and you need his fingers inside you so badly that you feel a bit dizzy. Seungcheol smirks against your thigh when your “shut up” comes out much more wistful and fragmented than you intended.

Fed up with the lack of contact, you attempt to buck your hips upward, which only earns you a tsk and a strong arm draped over your stomach to hold you down. You let out a frustrated whine.

“Want you to look at me, baby,” he hums, and you can only assume that you won’t get what you want until you oblige. Your hand blindly finds one of the pillows at the top of your bed to place behind your head (since your arms hardly lasted a minute holding yourself up earlier).

Satisfied, he inches closer and closer to your core until his mouth is hovering over your clit. “Good girl.”

Before you can even think about feeling embarrassed by the arousal that gushes out of your cunt at his praise, Seungcheol is dragging his tongue through it, spreading it up to your clit before sucking the bud back between his lips. 

Your jaw goes slack in a silent moan, eyes still locked on his when he finally, finally slides a finger into your awaiting hole. The silence doesn’t last very long, however, when he starts pumping it in and out of your pussy, petting your inner walls and adding another finger after almost immediately finding your g-spot. He knows your body well enough by now that he hardly has to even try.

“Hah– oh, right there–” your hand that’s still in his hair tugs him impossibly closer, causing his eyes to momentarily flutter shut, as if he’s getting lost in the taste of you.

Seungcheol increases the speed of his fingers ever-so-slightly and adds just the right amount of pressure to have your chest heaving, your free hand moving to pinch your own nipple as your high approaches. “Fuck– hnngh– Cheol–”

“I know, honey, I know,” you best friend coos between kisses to your clit, “been so stressed these days…needed my fingers n’ mouth to take your mind off things, hm?”

“Yeah, god I–” the arm that was draped over your stomach moves to hold down one of your thighs instead, spreading you wider for him and pulling another groan from the back of your throat. “M’close, g- gonna cum.”

Humming in acknowledgement, Seungcheol focuses on repeatedly curling his fingertips to massage your g-spot. With your hips no longer tethered to the bed, you begin fucking yourself onto his fingers; you watch as his lips stay latched onto your bud, head moving with your hips, and the visual is enough to send you over the edge with a cry of his name.

He continues to gently lap at your arousal and pump his fingers into your cunt, letting your walls clench around him as much as you need to until you’re too sensitive.

“Fuck,” he croaks after you gently push his head away, sounding just about as fucked out as you feel. Then, you glance past his broad shoulders to see his hips stuttering as he grinds into the mattress.

“Wait, did you…” your question trails off with a raise of your eyebrows.

“Cum? Yeah, fuck that was…I love it when you get really vocal.”

You smirk at the thought of him getting off to getting you off. “Hm. Noted.”

“Like you didn’t already know that,” he remarks with a roll of his eyes, before he slowly pulls his fingers out from inside of you with a lewd pop. You swear you merely blink and Seungcheol already has the digits in his mouth, sucking your cum off of his own fingers. It’s obscene, really.

He notices you intently staring at the fingers in his mouth and pulls them out to ask, “wanna taste?”

You shake your head, to which he very cutely pouts in confusion until you pull him up by the front of his shirt to kiss him, adding your tongue into the mix without hesitation. You’d much rather taste yourself mixed with his spit this way. 

When you pull away, you’re met with a dazed-looking Seungcheol. “Much better.”

“Noted,” he echos cheekily with a kiss to your forehead, finally sitting up onto his knees to get off the bed. “Hang tight, I’ll get us cleaned up.”

You close your eyes and internally sulk at the loss of warmth, but you're soon put at bay when Seungcheol returns with a damp washcloth, making a pit stop at your dresser to grab a fresh pair of panties for you. 

“Hey, keeping these here finally came in handy,” you crack an eye open to see him proudly holding up a pair of his boxers that he accidentally left at your apartment once (long, long story), which pulls a tired laugh from your lips.

After cleaning you up and changing in comfortable silence, Seungcheol settles in your bed beside you; he allows you to wrap yourself around him, hooking a leg between both of his and resting your head in the crook of his neck. A soothing hand returns to your back, rubbing slow, comforting circles that practically lull you to sleep.

Just as you’re about to drift off, you feel a finger poking at your cheek. You once again pry one eye open to look at your best friend. “Can I help you?”

He lets out a giggle at your grumpiness. “I just wanted to ask…are you feeling better?”

“Yeah, much better,” your eye flutters shut again, accompanied with a contented sigh. “Thank you. For…for always taking care of me.”

If you were looking at him, you would see the adoring expression painted on Seungcheol’s features. You both know you aren’t referring to just the sex.

“Always.”

[iplayghoul]

𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐮'𝐬 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬.

pairing:: geto suguru x afab! reader

warnings:: mentions of many kinks/fetishes or sex thingies including car sex, threesomes, voyeurism/exhibition, open relationships, leading yall on with unfinished sex scenes, overstimulation & sexual torture, degradation, weapon play, blood kink ments.

author's note:: this is def my fav ive written even tho i did procrastinate with this just just bc ive already done these kinks for my favs (gojo and toji) DIS IS EXTRA LONG YALL ENJOYY😭❗️reblogs n comments much appreciated, ignore typos.

𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐬 he's wild, risky and enjoys a good time. that being said, his kinks might not all be in common with his best friend gojo. regardless, besties share things! one of them may or may not be you.

car sex: he always acts so dark and mysterious wit you all the time 🙄 what he really loves is taking you out on a road trip, an hour long drive at most, on dark rainy days at late hours of the night. you pick up some coffee for the ride, along with ham and cheese sandwhiches and just drive off onto the barely populated roads where he stops the car. you've both eaten your little meals by now and with the ac blasting, he moves past you into the back seat. the ambience of the rain and gloomy weather, together with the cold ac and good food is geto's number one kink. it gets him rock hard just thinking about finger fucking the shit out of you 'til you squirt on his leather seats, then pressing you up against the glass so he can drill his cock into you and fog up the windows.

threesomes: he adores sharing you. not just with anyone of course, but him and gojo. the two get so giddy over the idea of stuffing your mouth and pussy at the same time. forcing their meaty dicks into your pussy at the same time, or filling both your ass and cunt to the brim. you name it, they'll do it to you. he loves the idea of seeing you covered in cum and leaking it, and if he can't achieve that on his own; he can count on gojo to help him out ;)

speaking of sharing! what's an open relationship to geto? now idk what he'd call it, but it fills him with pride, boosts his ego and makes him so fucking hard when you ask for permission to make out with another person in front of him. by his rules, making out with and/or fucking another person is fine by him as long as he you ask for permission, he knows the person or you do it in front of him. he's not one to deal with cheaters, it would be best to ask his exes who have cheated, except you can't. cheating to geto is doing anything flirtatious or sexual with another person without him knowing about it. simple! wanna make out with another girl at the bar? make it messy. want him to take another guys tongue down his throat? he'll do it, cuz' yall's relationship is 50/50 😋😋 now this brings me to my next point.

voyeurism & exhibitionism: he is not ashamed of yall's sexual connection and i really mean it. whether its inviting two of your mutual friends to fuck for you both to see in yall's bed or fucking as a dare in the middle of a group of friends, he's down for whatever. "I'm down for anything, I'm down for whatever. I'm a slut, get me lit, I dare you." he wants you to be a slobbery mess of embarrassment in front of your friends, he wants them to out their hands on you. touching, squeezing, sucking on your tits while he fucks you. others holding your legs back up into the air so you can't put them down when he pounds into you and even a second cock from one of his friends coming to stuff your mouth while yall complete the dare. either way, he's going to make sure you're wrecked.

overstimulation & sexual torture: he likes to have all your 5 senses occupied while you have sex or make love. your favourite r&b song playing in the background, a scented candle lit, a blindfold: soaked, covering your eyes, the smoothness of geto's sweaty and dewy skin against yours and the taste of his lips on yours. all while he licks into your mouth and rolls his hips to slap against yours as he fucks you deep and slow. it's a torturous pace and while most days he has your skin slapping against the sheets with how forceful he's fucking you or tied up with a vibrator on your clit, some days he takes things slow. a little too slow. sometimes he enjoys overstimulating you with multiple orgasms, but he finds that fucking you way too slow 'till you come gives him a way better reaction. the slow drag of his tip against the walls of your cunt, scratching at your g-spot, makes your pussy ache and he refuses to speed up 🙄 edging you on with little words and a slow roll of his thumb on your clit.

degradation: he loves you, he really does and assuming you have an embarrassment kink and degradation kink as well, he reads you for filth. in the same sex scene as my previous point, you whine and kick your feet under him so he can move faster. you can't even see what he's doing but the blindfold is already wet with your tears, throat sore from your gasps and complaints for him to go faster. "baby please, fuck, i– i can't c'mon," your words are fumbled around in deep breaths. "ya' don't have any fuckin' shame? huh? told you to take what you get. don't fuckin' piss me off or I'll leave your cunt right here." he always looks you in the eyes, dark, not like you can see it. "fuckin' look atchya', so fuckin' needy and can't listen to simple orders," he leans more over you and offers a wet slap to your cheek. you lick your lips, eyebrows furrowed and trying not to cry more than before. "fuck— please, babe– jus' wanna cum, shit!"

and finally, weapon play: i did go a little crazy on this post but let me just say this. gun, knife or chains, geto uses it all on you. he often ties you up in bruising chains and takes the knife to your neck, letting it caress your skin, down to your breasts and tickling your torso. he indulges himself in licking the little droplets of blood that surface, careful not to cut his love deeply. other times, depending on what you ask for, (he's such a service dom btw im not gonna get into it...) he'll put the gun in your mouth while he fucks you. it's loading with one bullet instead of six for the risk but he never pulls the trigger despite it.

— listen and if yall are one to do it, i truly believe all these kinks are vice versa between you two, dont get it twisted. masterlist.

[holylulusworld]

Open 24/7

Summary: Dean doesn’t like your panties.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader, Sam Winchester x Jess Moore

Warnings: language, naughty underwear, mutual pining, implied smut, ogling

A/N: Just a naughty little drabble.

Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics​

“Dude, pants,“ your roommate’s elder brother grunts as you make your way through the living room to grab a late-night snack from the kitchen.

Sam and you run around in your underwear all the time. You don’t want to jump his bones, and Sam is not into you.

You never had a problem with being half-naked around your roommate. That was until his grumpy brother decided to bunker at your shared house.

“I got pants on, Deano,” you coo only to rile the man occupying your couch at the moment up. “See.” As you point at your panties, Dean makes an odd noise.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dean cocks his head to glance at your panties. “Open 24/7? Seriously? You can’t just show a man something like that. He could get the wrong idea, Y/N.”

“Like what?” you challenge, smirking cockily as Dean almost looks flustered. “Come on, tell me about all the wrong ideas a man could get, Dean!”

“Anyone could believe you want it all the time,” he grumbles as you look at his freckled face. His cheeks dusted with shades of pink now, Dean stares at your panties.

“Maybe it’s a simple truth. You know, we’ve got a hole down there to pee and all,” now he sucks in a breath. His emerald eyes flick up for a moment to meet your gaze. “Your little asshole is open 24/7 too, Winchester.” You point out.

He rolls his eyes as you turn around only to show him the same line printed all over your ass.

“That’s enough,” he jumps up to cover your ass the moment Sam walks into the living room. His hair is a mess. Your roommate is only in his boxers as you try to fend his brother off. Dean tries to cover your ass with the blanket you offered to him. “Sammy, look somewhere else! You shouldn’t see this.”

“Dude, what’s wrong?” Sam rubs his face with one hand. “I have seen more than her panties. We are living together for like four years. I have seen and heard things you wouldn’t believe. She did the same. We are cool with it.” You chuckle as Sam simply shrugs. “Jess knows I only have eyes for her, and Y/N knows I would never cross a line. She’s the same.”

“See,” you squeak and squeal as Dean changes his tactic. He wraps the blanket around your body to protect you from his brother’s prying eyes. “Dean! Stop this! Didn’t you hear what Sam said?”

“Yeah, but this doesn’t mean I let my baby brother stare at your perfect tits and ass all night. Even worse, your crotch. He’ll only get the wrong idea.”

“Perfect tits?” you smirk as Dean tries to keep you hostage in the blanket. You wiggle and grunt as he wraps it even tighter around your body. “You stared at my ass and tits, didn’t you?”

“No-what? Pfff…no way. Why would I stare at the goods?” He licks his lower lip, and grazes his teeth over the plush flesh. “You’re not that…uh…you know.”

“Dean, stop hitting on my roommate. I told you to keep your hands to yourself,” Sam points his index finger at Dean. “I won’t let you mess this up for me too.”

“Wait! You forbid your brother to hit on me?” gaping at Sam you don’t know how to react. “Hey, I can fuck whoever I want to Samuel cock-block Winchester. I never complained about the endless stream of chicks your brought home before you settled for Jess.”

“Wait!” Dean ignores his brother’s angry look. “You want to fuck me?”

“I was wearing nothing but a bra and panties saying, ‘open 24/7’ Dean. Do I have to spell it out for you before you jump the train or what?”

“Oh. Good…that’s good,” Dean chuckles, relieved you didn't want his brother to see you half-naked. “Sammy, I hope you can bear some more noises.”

You squeal as Dean grasps for you to throw you over his shoulder.

“About damn time, Winchester,” Jess chuckles as Dean runs toward your room with you hanging over his shoulder. “Be gentle. She didn’t get any for a few months. Girl needs a good dick.”

“Jess,” Sam mutters. “Don’t encourage him. What if he messes things up with her too? I will lose my best friend and roommate.”

“Sammy, the way they were eye-fucking each other tells me we will need noise-reducing headphones sooner than later…”

Tags in reblog.

[boldlyvoid]

Exploration | request

request for @spencers-dria

summary: season1/2 spencer walking in on reader while she's watching porn in their shared hotel room

warnings: virgin reader, virgin spencer, masturbation, getting caught, coming out, bi reader, first times, friends to lovers, mutual pining, oral sex (male and female receiving), spencers sensitive nipples, multiple orgasms, penetrative sex, idiots in love,

Word count: 4.7k

Read on Ao3

Spencer and Y/N have shared a hotel room for almost every case over the last 3 months, they were the best of friends on the team. Both being geniuses, both socially awkward, and mutually pining for each other without telling anyone.

Morgan thought they were having a secret relationship at first, wondering why Spencer and her would blow off the rest of the team to spend time with each other. They just liked the same things, and finally, they had a person to go with to visit their interests. They went to museums and art shows, rare film showings, food festivals, anything that the other wanted to do.

They loved each other, actually.

They worked incredibly well as a team, bouncing ideas off each other. He could remember everything he’s ever read while Y/N can remember everything she’s ever heard, two different versions of the same eidetic memory.

If Spencer said it, she would never forget it. If she wrote something down for him, it was in his brain forever. It was the best.

They knew every single thing about each other, sharing every single detail of their mutually shit childhoods and almost every single secret that they’ve ever had to keep. He knew about her issues with her family, she knew about his mom and all the bad days she had during his life. She told him in confidence that she was a virgin still while everyone else was bullying him for being one, making sure he felt normal and safe.

They were very special to each other, and that’s why they liked to share rooms while they were away on a case. It was easier to deal with what they saw, what they went through and who they were becoming during this job when they had each other.

They wrapped up yet another case in a town they didn’t belong in, slowly packing up all their things and gathering to take an SUV back to the hotel for the night. Only Spencer and Derek weren’t coming back to the hotel yet, this case had been a little tough on Derek, and Spencer was going to stay back to spend some time with him.

Giving Y/N a little while alone in the hotel to do whatever she wanted.

She changed into her PJ’s as soon as she got in, just a t-shirt and some shorts as she laid in bed with her laptop. Resting it on her left thigh, knee bent while the right leg stretched straight out. Giving her just enough room to place a hand in her pants while she scrolled through Tumblr.

It was better than any porn website sometimes, reading smut that actually got her off or seeing sensual images of actual people making love. Not supermodels and men on viagra repeating the same fake moans over and over. These were real, beautiful, women, willing to be viewed because they enjoyed it and Y/N did too.

Appreciating every single curve and freckle, all the stretch marks and scars. Pimples and razor burn, unshaved legs and real, true orgasms. It was euphoric to see people like her, people who wanted to be looked at and knew she’d be touching herself to their photos.

She had her head tossed back against the pillow, her middle finger circling lightly on her own clit as she enjoyed the moment, listening through headphones to some audio of a woman getting off as she scrolled through photos of other naked women. The image of sucking on someone's tits popping into her mind, making her moan softly.

Not noticing that the hotel door had just opened.

“Oh,” whimper quietly fell from her lips as she heard the door click. Slamming her laptop closed and pulling her hand out of her shorts. “Oh my god, you saw nothing!”

“I saw a lot actually,” Spencer managed to say, face red and mouth wide open.

“You can’t tell anyone I’m into girls, I, I” Y/N panicked, “I’ve never said that out loud before.”

Spencer sat on the edge of his bed as he faced her, “it’s okay, I like girls too…”

“Oh, I had no idea?” She teased him, laughing at how funny this whole situation is. “Seriously though, I’m so sorry I thought you’d be gone longer.”

“I should have knocked, I honestly didn’t think you were the type to, you know,” he swallowed sharply, unable to say the word masturbate even though that's what he just walked in on her doing.

She felt so unbelievably flustered, embarrassed didn’t even cover it. “I like boys too, I just find girls are better when I need to get off quickly,” she bites her lips as she is all too honest with him. It’s not like he was going to run away…

He stands then, walking towards the door, “sorry, I can go see if Derek wants to hang out if you want more time?”

“Or…” the gears start turning in her head, “you’re still a virgin too right?”

He nods softly, sure he knows where she’s going and terrified. “Would you want to just talk about what we both like and maybe, I don’t know? Experiment a little? I’ve always thought it would be easier if I really trust the first person I sleep with, I’d rather it be you than anyone else honestly.”

“You’re not joking, right? Because that would be a really mean joke,” his breathing was rigid and he was already hard at just the thought, “You’re not just saying this to get me all flustered and bully me after?”

“Spencer?” She looked at him like he just insulted her in the worst way possible, “I would never do that to you and you know that?”

He nodded shyly, putting his head down as he backed up against the door, “you really want to?”

“I do,” she nodded. “You can get comfortable and then come sit beside me? I can show you want I was looking at?”

“O-okay,” he said, grabbing his suitcase and heading towards the bathroom.

He’s in there for a while, she’s wondering if she fucked everything up and ruined the best friendship she ever had because she thought he could handle sharing yet another dream together. But then he’s coming back out, dressed in just an oversized t-shirt and his boxers, he’s holding his right elbow with his left hand as he bites his bottom lip.

He’s terrified.

She pats the bed softly, moving over so that they each have a pillow and the laptop can rest in the middle of them. “So, are you really okay with this? We don’t have to actually, we can get as far as we want before one of us backs out, okay?”

“Don’t feel obligated to go all the way with me, if you want to stop then we stop,” Spencer agreed, finally making eye contact with her and taking a deep breath.

His eyes are so soft, his hair is so cute as he tucks it behind his ears, his bottom lip is plump from all the chewing he’s been doing on it, she can’t help herself from leaning in, “I really wanted to be your first kiss.”

“You can have everything else,” he admits, swallowing as he stares back at her lips.

“Can I kiss you now?”

He’s about to nod a yes and her lips are right on his, his hands come up to cup her face as he takes it all in. He pulls back only an inch to pepper more kisses to her lips, making up for the lost time.

Y/N smiles as she pulls back more, placing her hand over top of his as he still holds her face, “what do you think you’d like in bed?”

He laughs lightly, “I don’t even know, the idea of sex with someone is typically enough to get me off.”

“I like boobs,” she admits with a smile.

He blushes even harder then, his face and neck turning a bright shade of red, “me too.”

She takes her shirt off then, nothing on underneath so he can see everything she has to offer. He’s speechless, mouth open and tongue probably dry from all the air that’s past it so far tonight, scratch that he’s not even breathing right now.

She holds them in her hands then jiggling them slightly as she shows him, “you can touch them if you want, I’m sure you wonder what they’re like?”

“I-I do,” he’s able to close his mouth and swallow again, clearing his throat and squinting softly as he tries to make eye contact with her, wanting to be as respectful as possible while she’s trying to get him to fuck her.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” She asks again, hiding her nipples behind her palms as she holds them close to her chest.

He nodded feverishly with a soft smile, “I’m just worried I’m going to ruin your first time.”

She gripped onto his wrists and lead them to her chest, “I said I wanted to experiment, doctor, have you ever had a 100% success rate on something before?” He shook his head while he started to play with her boobs. “Exactly, this is about learning, don’t expect me to be good at touching you right away either.”

“I could finish from just touching you, don’t sell yourself so short,” he managed to laugh then, breaking out of his shell as he felt truly comfortable with her.

“We're young, you can go twice in a row right?” She teased him again, starting to really enjoy the way he was needing at her breasts like they were balls of pizza dough.

“I’ve always wanted to kiss a woman’s breasts,” Y/N closes her eyes and explains her fantasy, “to play with the nipple in my mouth and just see what it’s like.”

Spencer pulls off his own shirt, “do I ever have a surprise for you,” another joke as he points at both of his nipples, “I’m kind of like an a cup right?”

She can’t help but swat at his arm, as she gasps at him, “don’t make fun of me!”

“I’m serious!” Spencer smacks her arm right back, “nipples are nipples, men’s are just as sensitive as women's if not more so because ours have no real purpose associated with children.”

“I guess we don’t need this then? We’re just jumping right in,” She says as she picks up the laptop and sets it on the floor beside her bed.

“Can I sit in your lap?” She asks, worried for how much contact he’s okay with this quickly.

He sits up a bit more, leaning on the headboard as he nods, “sure, just I’m… hard so…”

It makes her smile, she straddles his lap and sits more on his thighs, avoiding the friction there so that he might last a bit longer, she fully believes he can and will explode the second they make contact, and she’d be lying if she said it wasn’t also very enticingly sexy.

“You’ll tell me to stop if you need to?” She repeated the rules before leaning in, watching him nod again before she kissed the centre of his chest.

Resting her hands on his ribs, she pressed more kisses to his chest and breast bone, she ran her tongue over his left nipple and he shuddered with a whimper, “told you,” he’s able to squeak the words out.

She smiles against his skin, sucking his nipple into her mouth softly and he moans, nice and loud. “Shut up,” she whisper-yells at him, “Hotch is in the next room.”

“Sorry, fuck,” he swears, it’s a rare occasion for him to swear so it’s like music to her ears.

She kisses back up his neck until she’s under his ear, sucking the sensitive skin softly so she doesn’t leave a mark but it’s enough to make his hips rut forward. He lets his hands travel over her thighs and rest on her hips for merely a second before he’s grabbing a handful of her ass cheeks, making her laugh slightly.

“I’m ticklish on my butt,” she warns him as she sits up straighter, looking him in the eyes again only this time his iris has been devoured by lust, no longer a beautiful honey brown but a dark and inviting black.

“You never really told me what you’re into,” Spencer whispered again, actually listening and keeping his voice down.

“I like watching women because I can relate to their pleasure, when I get off to visuals of men it’s more just me finding them fascinating because I’ll never know what it’s like to stroke my own dick or what it's like to cum like that, y’know? Like I’m sure you find eating pussy fascinating because you don’t have one, there’s something alluring about the unknown,” for some reason she felt nervous as she kept rambling, almost trying to justify her attraction to both. “I also like audios, I’m sure you know why.”

“Cause you can remember it all?”

She nodded again, “it’s very easy to get off when I can hear, verbatim in my mind, some dom calling me a good girl and saying he’s going to make me a real woman,” she couldn’t help but laugh. “They’re all so bad, believe me, but there’s something about knowing someone wants me that makes me horny? I really like knowing someone might find me sexy.”

Spencer just shakes his head with a sly smile, “I’ve literally been masturbating to thoughts of you for months now.”

Butterflies erupt in her stomach then and suddenly she’s the speechless one, blinking a few times as her brain processed all the information.

“Seriously?”

He nodded, “you’re not grossed out by that?”

She shook her head mighty fiercely, “I need you to tell me what you think about when you do it, what is it about me that get’s you off?”

He bit his lip for a second, his hands roaming her body once more as she took a deep breath in anticipation, “it’s always the same, do you remember that one time you pulled me aside and fixed my belt for me?”

She couldn’t help but smirk, “oh yeah I thought about that too..”

It was one of the first cases she was on, getting to know Spencer more and more as the days passed and becoming his best friend very quickly. She had been staring at his belt all day, it was just slightly off centre and it was pissing her off to a degree that it shouldn’t.

But his tie was like an arrow, pointing towards the button and fly of his pants, only the belt buckle wasn’t centred it was to the side and his gun was too far over so it’s not like he could easily adjust it if she told him from the table they were at.

So she politely asked him to join her in the quiet staff room, “I know you think I’ve been staring at your dick all day but I promise you it’s your stupid belt pissing me off.”

She stepped into his space and moved his holster back before twisting his belt in the loops, making sure it was perfectly in the middle before flattening his tie again, taking a step back to insure it was perfect, “better.”

“Thanks?” He was so confused, and very red, clearly doing everything in his power to not get hard while she was that close to him.

“Anytime,” she smiled softly, leaving the room as quickly as possible and never bringing it up again.

“I was serious it was pissing me off,” she laughed, “but I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t go home and shove my fingers in my mouth thinking about how much better it would have been to suck you off in that tiny kitchen in the middle of Alabama.”

He lets out the most desperate whimper she’s ever heard, crawling backwards on her knees till she’s far enough from him that he can spread his legs and give her access to him, “I’ve never done this.”

“I have nothing to compare it to,” he reminded her with a soft smile, “I’m sure you’ll be the best I get.”

It made her a little sad thinking about him with anyone else and suddenly she couldn’t do it. Sitting up straight with a sad look on her face as she tried to push the feelings back down, “I can’t do this without you knowing I have a huge crush on you and I’m probably just going to fall in love with you the second we have sex.”

“Good,” he replaced all her fears with a smile, “I was scared to say I wanted you to be my first and only.”

She tugged at the band of his underwear then, he lifted his hips slightly and she was pulling them all the way off. Throwing them towards the bed that was supposed to be his before finally looking at his perfect, absolutely beautiful dick.

“Wow,” is all she could say, holding it in her hand as she looked at it. He was cut, at least 8 inches hard and a hearty girth. She had never held a penis in her hand before, mesmerized by how warm it was and the heartbeat she could feel in the prominent vein that showed on the underside.

She stroked him once, he was holding his breath so intensely as he gripped the sheets, desperate to let her look while trying not to cum so soon, no one had ever touched him before, especially not the topless girl he’s been masturbating to for months.

“It’s okay,” she reminded him, taking a second to run her tongue along the underside of his dick while he moaned again, just as loud as before. “Good thing hotch thinks I’m here by myself.”

She calms down just enough to take him in her mouth, doing what she imagined worked the best and avoiding any contact with her teeth. The mixture of the heat of her wet mouth, the contact, the fact it was her, and the fact it was happening in the first place sent him right over the edge, she’s barely able to prepare herself before he’s coming in her mouth.

It’s not as horrible as she expected, swallowing as she continues to suck him off gently. Spencer let out such a high-pitched noise he was silent now, no longer able to make sounds anyone in the hotel could hear. She pulls off with a pop before he can get too overstimulated, wiping the spit off her mouth before getting in closer again.

“Kiss me,” Spencer insists, pulling her in and sucking her tongue into his mouth.

It’s hot and wet and unexpected, he’s needy and alive and she’s desperate as hell for his touch. He grips her hips and picks her up, laying her back against the bed and pulling her shorts and underwear off, she’s unable to even think as she spreads her legs and he dives in.

Not skipping a beat he’s flattening his tongue against her spread pussy and lapping up all the evidence of just how horny he makes her. It's better than anything she has ever imagined, he sucks at her clit in just the most perfect way before flicking it back and forth with his tongue.

“Fingers,” she reminds him, breathlessly as she arches her back and tries to push herself into his mouth again.

He runs his pointer finger over her hole, circling it gently before slipping it inside, pumping in and out of her as he keeps repeating the same movements on her clit. The backs of her knees start to sweat and that all too familiar heat starts to bubble in her gut, the same one she was chasing just before he walked in on her.

“Add a second and curl it, fuck,” she had to take a breather as he listened, pumping into her without a single issue as he found her g spot, “oh god fuck, Spencer!”

He’s been reading, she knows it because so had she. She read every post about pleasure and what feels good in the hopes this would happen one day. The day someone she cared about finally helped her experience sex in the best way possible, learning together.

She cums and he didn’t stop, her legs started shaking and her breathing is rigid as he keeps going. She felt shockwave after shockwave, not sure what was her actual orgasm anymore as it all started to blur together and overwhelm her.

She reached forward for his face and physically pulled him off, hands on his cheeks as she guided him back to her mouth. Tasting each other on their tongues, it was like a dream finally having all of him the way she always dreamed.

“I’m hard again,” he breathes the words against her skin as his kisses travel down her neck, not scared in the slightest. “If you still want to?”

“Yeah, I do,” she’s just as breathless, hands roaming his back as he keeps kissing her neck. “I don’t have any condoms.”

“Fuck,” he drops his head to her shoulder. “I don’t either.”

“And we don’t have a minibar so there won't be any in here,” she lets out a deep sigh, “pass me my phone on the side table.”

He pulls back from her then and does as she asked, she opened it and dialled a number. “Hey Elle, I brought a guy back to my room and I don’t have any condoms, can you slide one under my door?” Her voice a whisper, trying to keep up the facade that she had a stranger with her.

“Who? Oh my god?” Elle tried to pry, “where’s Spencer? Derek’s with me, he dropped him off at your door?

“I don’t know? I’ve been kinda busy,” she lied, “maybe he heard us and left?”

“Poor boy’s gonna be heartbroken you’re cheatin' on him,” Elle teased, “but yeah I’ll slide a few under the door.”

“Thank you,” she rushed the words out and closed the flip phone once again. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I don’t think I’m ready for them to know I’m losing my virginity tonight. They’ll make a big deal out of it,” Spencer smiled softly, “plus it’s nice just having you to myself still, they don’t have to know what we do.”

Just then 3 individual condoms were thrown under her door, sliding across the carpet and waiting to be used. “Good luck Spence!” They heard Derek’s voice behind the door and Spencer’s face went white. “Have fun!” Elle added, both of them laughing as they returned to their separate rooms.

Spencer got up from the bed and picked up the condoms as they both tried to pretend that didn’t just happen, bringing them back to Y/N as he stood beside the bed.

“Can I do it?” He was surprised she asked, handing it to her with wide eyes as she tore the package open. “Lay down, I’ve always wanted to do this.”

He did just as she told him to as she sat in between his legs once more and carefully put the condom on the right way. Pinching the tip as she rolled it down, not nervous in the slightest, giddier that she was doing this with her best friend.

Then it was on him, and all they had to do was each other.

“What position do you want to do it in first?” Spencer asked carefully, “I know it hurts in certain angles and I wouldn’t want to hurt you the first time.”

It makes her smile, “missionary, I want to look at you.”

She lays back against the pillows instead, spreading her legs and letting him rest between them. He’s sitting on his knees, holding himself by the base of his cock as he gets in closer and closer, running the head over her clit on the way to her entrance, it feels amazing.

“Ready?” His voice is so soft, he truly cares about her and suddenly she’s feeling more emotional than horny, so she nods as she swallows down her feelings.

He starts to push in slowly, she’s still so turned on and relaxed that he slips right in almost effortlessly, “fuck,” is all he can say as he bottoms out and hovers over her.

Now face to face once again, she pulls him in for another kiss. Hot and heavy just like before, he starts to rock his hips in and out of her while they make out. He starts to get a groove and soon enough he’s really fucking her.

“Shit, Spence,” she pants into his mouth as he reaches for her clit, circling his thumb over her as he pumps in and out of her with an interesting rhythm, he’s trying his best and it’s truly amazing.

He drops his forehead to her shoulder as he keeps going, breathing deep against her skin. She wraps her legs around him, arching her back so she can take him in even deeper every single time, her nails are dug so deep into his skin that she knows he’s going to have deep red scratch marks all over his back in the morning.

Then he's kissing her neck, needing something to do with his mouth while he fucks her. Unable to speak, he sucks hickey after hickey to her collar bone and shoulder, where no one but he will know it’s there.

“I love you, sweet fucking christ I love you so much Y/N,” is what finally sends her over the edge.

That little bubble of heat bursting, sending waves of pleasure through her body to the point she feels like she’s being resuscitated, life is rushed through her body as she chants his name without a care in the world for how loud she’s being.

She grips his hair with one hand so tight he yelps, stuttering his hips and cuming with a shout into the condom. Dropping against her as they both breathe like they’ve run a marathon, mutual orgasms wearing down as he pulls out gently, making her twitch and laugh at how amazing she feels.

Delirious as ever, she wraps her arms around him and peppers a million kisses to the top of his head. “I love you too, thank you, Spencer.”

“For loving you or the sex?” He can't help but try and make her laugh again and he’s successful.

“Both, I always want both,” she admits, holding his face in her hands again so she can look at his beautiful chocolate eyes once more. “Can we be more than friends?”

He nods softly, “do you want to be my girlfriend?”

“I’ve wanted to be your girlfriend for a while,” she admits with a sweet smile, unbelievably in love with him just like she knew she would be.

He doesn’t get into the bed that was supposed to be his, instead, the two of them cleaning up for the night and slipping under the covers of her bed. Cuddled up in each other's embrace for the night, not wanting to pull apart when Spencer’s alarm finally starts to go off.

They’re both a little sore from the sex, their bodies and muscles not used to moving the way they did or the number of orgasms they had in such quick succession.

They both pack their bags and leave the hotel room together only to find Derek, Elle, JJ and Hotch waiting on the other side of the door, clapping as soon as they saw them.

Y/N lets out a deep sigh as she rolls her eyes, “yeah yeah, get it all out, me and Spencer finally got together, fuck off.”

She takes Spencer’s hand then, tugging him down the hallway towards the elevators as the rest of them laugh, huddling into the elevator as they all snickered, looking at the both of them for any evidence of the activities of the night before.

“How did you even know?” Is all Spencer can ask Derek.

“There’s 0 chance that a man Y/N ‘picked up’ wouldn’t have a condom on him, you’re the only guy I know who doesn’t have one in his wallet,” Derek explained with a proud smirk, shaking Spencer’s shoulder softly.

“Well, I do now,” he smiled to himself as he turned bright red.

always taking requests!

[1tad0ri]

hiii. can i request a rough nsfw with sukuna where he's so frustrated with jujutsu sorcerers that he decided to unleash those said frustrations on the reader? like he just won't stop until he release all the stress inside him— kshjsch i feel like sukuna would do that 😳 he'll be rough all night long

warning: degradation, choking, breath play, very mild pain kink, hate fucking

ryoumen sukuna x fem!reader

i feel the same way so thank you, i’m going to be thinking about this for a long time

“you know, i really thought you’d put up more of a fight.”

the grip he had on your neck was bruising, but certainly a lot looser than you thought the king of curses would be. your hands clawed at him nonetheless, although the whole current concept of being shoved against the wall of your bedroom wasn’t exactly something you were complaining about.

the three impatient raps at your door earlier had you rolling out of bed, wanting to sleep after your latest mission. you’d thought it was yuuji, hungry for your warmth, but when you unlocked the door, rubbing your eyes and stifling a yawn, you’d been unceremoniously shoved backwards, the wind knocked out of you when your back met the wall. the glint of tattoos on a familiar face in the moonlight coming from your window told you all you needed to know.

sukuna watched you curiously and then his sickening grin was back, fingers squeezing a little harder. you gasped, stretching your neck away. “what? not going to answer?” he sneered, “maybe you all really are the same. scared little fucking sorcerers.” he leaned closer, breath fanning across your face. “isn’t that fucking stupid? you’re all a bunch of scaredy cats, aren’t you?” he pouted mockingly when he spat out the name. his lips were so close, if you just tilted forward—

no. whatever morbid fascination you harbored towards him didn’t change the fact he was... well... him. you stood your ground, leaning forward to bump your nose against his, your own scowl evident. “you can’t do anything, sukuna. once we find all the—”

“all my fingers you mean? the ones you can’t destroy on your own so you have to come up with some little plan to get rid of me?” he laughed bitterly in your face and you bit your lip, trying to calm your fury before you did something you’d regret. “it’s all the same. you’re scared of me. you don’t have the upperhand. never will,” he whispered at the end.

“i’m not scared of you.” your thoughts tumbled out of your mouth plainly without a second of hesitation, but the tilt of his head in question, his forehead brushing against yours, made you think that perhaps telling the truth around him was a very bad idea.

it was dark, hard to see his face, but god he was so close. “yeah? what are you then?”

good question. wait, no, bad question. bad, very bad, because you already knew the answer to it. or... did you? vocal chords at a stand still, there was no way to verbalize what you felt.

“hurry up, brat.” sukuna tightened his grip on your neck before loosening it just the smallest bit so you could speak. “i don’t have all day. how do you feel then? you with your little human emotions.”

words... what are the words. it turns out staring down a literal demon king in the eyes wasn’t the optimal place to think. “i... i don’t know.” your voice was small, unsure, lying.

the staring contest, backed by deafening silence, continued for a mere beat longer as you regarded each other with quiet contemplation. you could just barely make out his eyes and the curve of his lips, parted slightly. his breath was warm.

you couldn’t take it anymore and it seemed like he couldn’t either—you both automatically tilted your heads, lips pressing against each other easily, eyes falling shut. mouths sliding against the other, he gently pushed your head back to hit the wall, tongues running over one another. it was slow, hot, and you decided you should probably thank yuuji for keeping his lips so soft.

sukuna sucked your bottom lip between his own and your hands fell away from his grip on your neck to pull him closer by the front of his shirt (he hadn’t ripped it apart yet, an impressive feat). his leg slipped between your own, and you pushed down on it with your hips, the friction making you open your mouth further to him, something enticing about the fact he was a very good kisser.

but then it was like a switch flipped and his hold on your neck tightened once again. “what... what am i doing,” you thought he mumbled, voice hoarse (then again, your brain wasn’t exactly listening when you were busy making out with someone like him), kiss faltering for a brief moment. his lips curled into a frown, disdainful.

shoving you further into the wall as he pushed against you with his mouth, sukuna was all sharp teeth and rough lips now, swallowing up your whimpers, nothing soothing about it like his previous actions.

“i fucking hate you,” he spat, his hand abandoned your neck and moved up to squish your cheeks together, finding satisfaction in the way your lips puckering out, barely able to move. “do you hear me? i hate all of you.”

“the feeling’s mutual,” you mumbled around his grip, hazy from the kiss but knowing what you stood for, fury evident in your eyes and furrowed brows. he was the enemy. and you were... you. and... and...

you were met with a bitter laugh, your stomach curling into knots at the sound. you hadn’t noticed his free hand tugging at your waistband until it was too late, his hand slipping in and wasting no time running two fingers harshly against your soaking folds. “why are you dripping wet then? a slut and a liar?”

“fuck off,” you mumbled again, a lot quieter this time, face burning hot from embarrassment.

“i’ll fuck off when you stop acting like you want to fuck me.”

his words made you straightened up. “i- i’m not—”

“you’re not acting? mmm,” sukuna let go of your cheeks just enough that he could properly kiss you, tongue forcing it’s way past your lips, “of course you’re not. of course.” he was mocking you and you couldn’t say anything.

a finger pushed into your heat and you bit down on his lip in surprise, although the pain only seemed to spur him on further, a second finger easily shoving its way in next to the first. curling, pushing, rubbing against that sensitive, spongy spot inside of you, sukuna’s fingers had your legs shaking, the knee he still had pressed between them the only thing keeping you up at this rate. the grip on your face as he hummed against your mouth prevented you from avoiding eye contact with him, lips wet as he disregarded any type of mess he was making.

he was everywhere at once and you felt trapped. hot—it was too hot, your body was burning.

“su- ku... n... a,” his name came out garbled between the onslaught of your face being squished together and the sloppy kisses he pressed into you at irregular intervals. when his thumb rubbed against your clit as the two fingers continued to pump in and out, you gripped his shirt so hard you were sure you would rip it this time. “too... mmm,” a kiss that was more tongue than lip cut you off and you weren’t even sure if he heard you as you choked out the next words, “mmm, hah— much, suku—”

at once he released you, almost letting you drop to the floor, but you were able to just barely steady yourself against the wall in time. sukuna stepped back and away from your shaking form. you were gasping, lungs burning.

“w...why did you—”

“i can listen you know.” you could practically feel his eye roll from his dripping tone, even if you weren’t looking at him. “‘too much.’” he laughed as he mocked you. “more like you’re too weak.”

you were thankful he actually seemed to have a brain, but still— “you’re an idiot.” fuck, your lungs hurt, the retort scraping against the walls of them. he was good. it had been a while since anyone had left your head spinning like that.

sukuna flicked a hand dismissively. “‘an idiot’ who’s giving you a chance to breathe, you brat.” he decided to ignore the name for now, thankfully for you (although you didn’t exactly see it that way).

you couldn’t choke out another snarky response and simply focused on clearing your head. he gave you a chance to think and once you seemed clear-minded, he wasted no further time.

“bed.”

you blinked, eyes bleary, peering up at him from where you bent over, trying to catch your breath. “w...what?”

“on the bed. now.” he shoved his hands into his pockets, watching you blankly as you regained your senses. “unless you want me to fuck you on the floor?”

“no...” god, what was with you? or rather... what was with him? the ache in your core answered your question, your cunt feeling so empty now—he hadn’t even bothered to let you cum and you already wanted his fingers stuffed back into you. he was irresistible—you felt stupid even having the thought.

sukuna’s eyes narrowed, close to shoving you to the ground to finish what he started but exercising restraint for your sake. you’d need it. “i’m being nice and giving you a chance to get comfortable on your stupid bed, you idiot. go. now.” he was getting tired of repeating himself.

the last few snarky words and your own desire for him actually had you moving this time, climbing up onto the bed a few steps away and settling uncertainly onto the covers. you went to look up for further instructions but he was already on you, both of you tumbling back onto the mattress as he practically shoved his tongue down your throat, hands pushing up and under your shirt to squeeze your tits.

“take this off.”

you automatically pulled at the hem of the flimsy t-shirt at his command, sukuna giving you just enough room to get it over your head, and then his teeth were on your exposed breasts, marking them up. your fingers threaded through his hair, his head moving under your touch as you watched his mouth work with half-lidded eyes.

you didn’t think you’d be able to change in front of anyone any time soon, already knowing the blossoming colors of bruises would be apparent the next morning. reminder to self: cancel your upcoming shopping trip with nobara; the dressing rooms with her would surely be a disaster if he kept this up.

“who’s are these?” his grip was rough when he cupped your breasts, squeezing.

you immediately knew the answer he was looking for, all too eager to hand it over. “yours. fuck, they’re all yours.” your hands ran through his hair, urging him to continue his onslaught on the previously unmarked skin.

sukuna laughed, thumbing your nipples, giving one of them a light lick that made you squirm. “you’re more obedient than i thought you’d be.” he pinched the buds, rolling them between his fingers as you squeezed your eyes closed, gasping at the pain. “but that’s enough of that.” your eyes snapped open, about to ask him what the fuck he meant by that, but he was already setting to work.

his fingers hooked around your sleeping bottoms and pulled them down with your underwear, the night air cold against your damp lips. you rubbed your thighs together but his hands on your knees forced them apart as he peered down at you. you felt so exposed under his hungry gaze, entirely bare for him to see while he was still dressed. unfair.

“wanna see. don’t close them,” was his short, clipped explanation as he kept your legs spread. one hand on your knee, sukuna brought the fingers of his other to run along your folds again just as he had done before, except this time he could actaully see how you quivered under him, cunt glistening and dripping. he slipped two fingers to run between the folds and then popped them in his mouth, sucking the slick from his fingers and maintaining eye contact with you the entire time. you couldn’t look away.

he hummed, content as he licked the last bit off of the tips. “you don’t taste bad for a slut.”

all the focus was on you, him criticizing everything little thing you did, and you were a mess because of it. not even a chance to run your hands over his chest? unacceptable. you pointedly ignored his comment, pining after some form of a reward instead. “at least take your shirt off. thought you hated those things.” the clothing ratio here was starting to grate on your nerves.

sukuna rolled his eyes but crossed his arms over his chest to grab ahold of the sides of his fitted t-shirt and tug it over his head. you watched, mouth watering at the sight—the moon provided excellent illumination for the scene, his body revealed inch by painstaking inch as he disposed of the fabric. god, he was so hot. you hated it.

muscles on display, sukuna raised an eyebrow at you as though he were asking, happy now? your silent reply came when you reached up to run your hands over the dips of his abs, his chest solid and tattoos curling over the surface.

“that’s better.” you made a show of your gaze tracing over the surface before looking up at him, smiling to yourself. “surprised you didn’t just rip it off.”

sukuna simply scoffed and swatted your hand away, moving from between your legs so he could work off his pants and kick them off to the side.

“knew you’d like to see me take it off properly,” he answered at last, back to you as he wiggled out of his boxers finally and chucked them off the foot of the bed. you didn’t get much time to admire his flexing back muscles before he was on you again, settling between your legs like he knew he belonged there (you weren’t sure you could argue with that point).

he pumped his cock, grabbing one of your legs and pushing it back. precum leaked from his tip, length already fully hard, and sukuna was enjoying your gaze on him maybe a little too much. leg shoved back and in the air, you whimpered when he rubbed the head along you. you didn’t need prep after being fucked by his fingers earlier you supposed and you weren’t sure you’d even be patient enough to sit through him stretching you out any further with anything but his dick.

you wanted to feel it yourself and so you reached a hand out to wrap around the base, captivated by how he watched you as you thumbed the slit, breathing heavy but not saying anything, letting you do what you wanted.

you wanted it in you so badly.

when he opened his mouth in question, eyes flitting up to yours, you were quick to cut him off, already knowing what he was going to ask. “yes, i’m sure.” you didn’t know curses could actually be compassionate, and it was cute when his jaw locked hard at your confirmation and he nodded, shifting his gaze back to your hand.

you released his cock and sukuna set back to lining it up with you, grip on your leg locking the limb in place. you shivered under his hold and he grunted when the head nudged your entrance, slowly pushing in.

“fuck. take it. take it all in. fucking slut.” he sunk fully in in one motion, the pace enough not to have you screaming out at the stretch but making your breath catch in your throat all the same. “yes, just like that. a good bitch, that’s what you are, aren’t you? look at you.”

you didn’t even know what to think at this point, a shaky resemblance to his name tumbling from you, more so a moan than actual talking. you could feel him everywhere—so full, so overwhelmingly full.

shoving your leg back further until it was almost painful, cock bottomed out in you, sukuna snapped his fingers in front of your face. “i asked you a question, brat. or are you already too fucked out of your mind to answer?”

you couldn’t breathe, head heavy, and tried to nod in confirmation as you struggled to puzzle through his words, but then you shook your head to answer no—god, you were confused. what was the right answer? what was happening?

maybe you really were already too fucked out of your mind. you vaguely recalled his words from earlier and were able to form a somewhat coherent response. “a good bitch... yes, i a- wait.” what were you saying? first you let him fuck you and now you’re openly submitting to him? the curse that had nearly cost you and your friends your lives countless times?

pride wouldn’t let you go along with his little game even as your dripping pussy told a different story. “i’m not anything to you.”

sukuna scoffed, hips grinding into you as he leaned over you, hooking both of your legs over his shoulders and pressing them back, close to your head. “and here i thought we were actually starting to get along.” a mirthless laugh left him, both of you eye-to-eye now where you lay.

fire burning in your eyes, you were very much reminded why you hated him so much. a self-obsessed asshole was what he was. “i’m not exactly looking to be friends with the king of curses, you idiot.”

“but look at you now. you wanted this.” he licked a stripe up the side of your neck, pausing at the base of your jaw to grin and press a sweet kiss to the area. you shivered and your hands found his shoulders to grip onto. he wasn’t wrong about the wanting it part—the amount of times you’d fantasized about exactly this was concerning. “i wonder what would happen if your little friends knew about how you really felt. what’s that term you like to use? ‘fraternizing with the enemy?’”

sukuna laughed again when your expression fell, face hot at the reminder of the others. “i suppose this is considered a bit more than mere fraternizing though, hm?” he continued, smiling and kissing your cheek.

whatever. no one would find out anyway. expect... expect maybe... yuuji—what had happened to him anyway for this to happen? knowing him, he’d probably been too tired after the last mission and sukuna had easily switched in—the same mission that seemed to have set sukuna even further along in his fury against jujutsu sorcerers this night.

you weren’t dating yuuji per say (it was... complicated), so your qualms when it came to fucking the curse possessing him were... minimal to say the least. you wouldn’t have done it if you were already taken, couldn’t have done that to yuuji, sweet as he was. but even in spite of all that, sukuna was right... this whole thing was so... no, don’t think about it.

you didn’t care either way (...maybe)—you couldn’t let his words get to you.

“just move already.”

you heard him grumble, annoyed, and he propped himself up to hover above your face. “i was giving you time to adjust. you’re so ungrateful.”

and with that, sukuna snapped his hips into yours without another moment of hesitation and you dug your nails into his back, mouth open in a silent scream because fuck.

“ungrateful fucking brat.”

“more,” your voice was hoarse, focus narrowing in only on the way he was fucking you.

you weren’t sure if it was your words or his own desire that spurred him on, but he set a bruising pace from the start, the places where your hips met hurting every time he rammed back into you. he was marking up your neck, the area already feeling sensitive and oh-so overabused, yet you not wanting to tell him to stop.

sukuna’s hand wrapped around your neck again, the feeling familiar now and you clenched around him at the sensation, him growling when you did so. the slight squeeze of his fingers had you seeing stars, the light-headed feeling going straight to your building arousal.

just like before, his hand traveled up to squeeze your cheeks and he was hovering over your mouth again, lips brushing against your own from the momentum of his thrusts. “let me kiss you again.” sukuna’s eyes were dark, unreadable.

you were quick to act at that, not letting him lean down, but rather craning your neck up to latch onto him, moaning as your mouth fell open for him to push his tongue in. his hand released your face to travel down to tweak at your nipples and grip your breasts again, other hand holding your leg steady against him. “filthy fucking slut.” he forced the words into your mouth, speaking around your lips that kept chasing after him. “fuck, you’re so fucking tight.”

sukuna’s attention returned to your neck, leaving you to gasp into the air and missing his warmth against your face. when his thumb found your clit, your breath hitched and you knew you so close to coming undone. the rubbing of his cock against just the right spots inside of you, filling you so wholly was not helping.

“su...kuna, please, i’m gonna—” you were babbling, chest heavy when his teeth sank into your shoulder, stinging. his wet kiss on the area was cooling, the contrast making your head tilt further back, wanting to give him easy access to whatever he wanted.

“i’ve got you.” he was whispering against the wet skin, voice low with his pants, and you shivered, digging your nails into his back even more. “come on, brat, you want to cum for me, don’t you?” yes, you did. the stretch, his hands everywhere at once, his scraping lips—yes, you wanted to let everything go.

“fuck, fuck, fuck.” you let yourself come undone, heat filling your chest. everything was him—that’s all you knew in this state.

“look at you, creaming all over my cock. god, you’re so pretty. pretty little slut.” the words just kept flowing as he fucked you through your orgasm, chasing his own release.

when he finally came, your hole was aching, abused, the sound of skin against skin the only thing you could focus on, mind cloudy. his cum was hot and filling when it spilled into you, your stomach doing summersualts at the feeling. his pace gradually began to slow, the sopping sound of him fucking his cum into you as he rode out his own high the only sound besides your ragged breaths. when he eventually stopped, he was leaning over you, sweaty foreheads pressed together, and he pushed one final bruising kiss to your lips that you gladly returned.

you were panting, chest rising and falling unevenly. “fuck, oh my god.” you reached up pull him back into another kiss, needing something to hold onto. it was an easy kiss, no thought going into its form, just knowing that lips were meant to be on each other and slotted together. his lips were so soft, and his fingers along your side were so soft, and his chest against yours was so soft and you were absolutely lost to everything.

sukuna finally pulled back to let you breath, knowing you were probably stupid enough to just keep pulling him in more and more and ignoring your lung capacity until the very last second unless he stopped you.

chests heaving, you stared at each other and he brought a thumb up to rub at your swollen lips. you flicked your tongue out to lick at the digit playfully and smiled. a laugh bubbled out of you and he returned the grin, his own deep chuckle vibrating through you where you were still pressed against each other.

it was laughing that you moved to push him to roll off of you. “oh my god, i can’t believe we just-” the hand that gripped your wrist, your own hands still planted on his chest, stopped you immediately. his smile had morphed back into one that was anything but sweet.

you were suddenly aware of the ache in your legs where they were still pressed over his shoulders and the dull throbbing of your pussy as it begged for a break, him still not having pulled out—the look on his face told you that you wouldn’t be getting a break from those sensations any time soon.

“who said we’re done?” his teeth glinted in the moonlight and god the line was so cliche and he must’ve known you’d hate it so much. what you hated even more was the throb in your core at his words despite all that. “wanted to cum in you at least once, but your tits-” he paused to squeeze one of them for emphasis, “are looking a little too clean.” body covered in sweat and marks all over your chest from his handiwork made you think clean wasn’t exactly the correct description, although you understood his sentiment.

surprise ridden expression falling away, you rose to meet his challenge, your own grin reflecting back. how would it feel when he came on your stomach, on your face, on your ass—anywhere and everywhere? would it be the same feeling as before when he’d spilled inside of you? (would you get to taste it?)

the thought was horrible, you knew, but the trickle of white out of your hole around his cock and dripping onto the sheets made you think maybe it was okay to be horrible for once.

“do your worst, king.”

[uppermocns-moved]

𝘢𝘰𝘵 + 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘥

eren, armin, levi, jean

𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 – nsfw (minors don’t like/reblog/respond), mentions of hard kinks, female reader. shifts in and out of canonverse/modernverse so use your imagination! 

𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯 𝘫𝘢𝘦𝘨𝘦𝘳 

always dominant. can be hard or soft dom depending on the mood.

into harder kinks (with heavy communication and consent): somno, breeding, impact play, breath play, free use, etc.

super high sex drive and usually always horny. when he’s bored, he’ll jerk off to pictures you’ve sent him and porn you’ve made together (he’s not camera shy), but never let himself cum, just lazily edge.

he edges for days at a time – not only goes it feel so fucking good, but it gives him thicker loads to pump inside you later.

obsessed with cumming inside you. he’ll fuck load after load as deep as he can inside you, watch in awe as it leaks out of you, then use his fingers to push it back in. he’s not shy about his possessiveness and this is just a further reminder that you’re his.

secretly doesn’t mind when you scratch up his back – he loves looking in the mirror and seeing visual evidence of how good he made you feel.

also secretly loves when you give him hickies in obvious spots. he does absolutely nothing to hide them, he loves reminding everyone of his place. it’s a nonverbal way of saying “i’m taken, fuck off”

wouldn’t care if he broke his neck from you riding his face. he welcomes it, actually.

heavily into bdsm (emphasis on the s&m), and dom/sub dynamics. while he loves perfect little subs that’ll treat him like some sort of god, he adores when you get bratty and talk back. makes things a lot more fun.

loves embarrassing you.

“my god, baby, can fuckin’ hear how wet you are.” “soaking your panties and i didn’t even fuckin’ touch you. what’s got you so wet, sweetheart? thinking of my cock?” “that felt good, didn’t it? don’t hide from me, pumpkin, let me see your pretty face.”

threesomes. foursomes. you name it. while eren’s possessive over you, he doesn’t mind sharing with his friends (if you consent, of course). he loves knowing how worked up everyone gets over his girlfriend, loves fucking you in front of them to show everyone how wrapped around his finger you are.

safeword! mean and rough is what eren does best. even while he’s slapping you around and calling you dummy, or an eager little slut for his cock, he’ll still check in with you and make sure you’re still feeling good and enjoying yourself. he may like hurting you, but he never wants to actually hurt you. never forgets aftercare, either, you’re still his precious angel that he loves more than anyone.

he’s incredibly vocal – dirty talk, moaning, growling, cursing, degradation.

if you’re too tired to go all the way, he loves mutual masturbation, or jerking himself off while you talk dirty in his ear. always wants to hear what you want him to do to you.

big fan of including toys, usually always fucking you with your magic wand on your clit.

sex without the power dynamics is still very intense and passionate. lots of making out, scratching his back and pulling him closer, deep thrusts, curses, eren telling you he loves you, kissing your forehead while you cum.

𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘦𝘳𝘵

doesn’t really involve himself in strict power dynamics. he’s very versatile and the role he assumes depends on the mood.

prefers biting over spanking and choking you with his fingers over wrapping a hand around your throat (but he will do both).

loves eating pussy and will tease you by gently kissing you through your panties. definitely bites your inner thighs. whispers to you from between your legs and tells you how good you taste. makes you cum over and over, each time moaning into your core and tightening his grip on your thighs to keep you right where he wants you. he only stops when you’re crying and twitching, physically unable to cum one more time.

loves when you’re rough and press his face into your pussy or pull his hair to guide his mouth where you want it. you can hurt him a little. as a treat.

loves when you grab him by the chin and pull him up for a desperate kiss after he eats you out for hours.

goes heavy on the body worship, especially when you wear pretty lil outfits for him.

memorized your body and knows it better than you do. he knows when you’re close, you can’t hide from him.

his possessive side comes out hardcore during sex – armin doesn’t share. he’ll bite marks into your flesh and use his sweet, soft-spoken voice to get into your head. he wants to be the only thought in your mind, the source of all your pleasure.

“mine. you’re all mine. not fuckin’ sharing you.”

if you want him to, he can be fucking mean. he contrasts his harsh words with gentle touches, or tells you sweet things while patting your cheek just a little too rough. it’s almost scary how effortlessly he can change his demeanor to someone entirely different.

loves when you come by to “help” him study (lazily jerk him off while he does his required reading and assignments).

actually just loves when you jerk him off for that matter, especially when he gets to rut into your fist until he’s overstimulated and making a mess of your hand.

easily excitable – just gotta kiss him with tongue all soft and slow and he’ll get all flustered poking against your leg

obsessed with having his mouth on your tits – sucking them, licking them, letting his hand palm and grope at the one not receiving attention.

eye contact is a massive turn on and makes everything feel so much more intimate. he’ll gently grab your chin and redirect your sight, or give your inner thigh a little nip to make you open your eyes again. “focus on me, sweet girl.”

armin’s weaknesses are praise and heavy personal attention. sometimes he’s stressed out and just needs you to take care of him. he’ll sit between your legs, back pressed to your front, and let you stroke him until he’s overstimulated or so pent-up from denial. it makes him dizzy when you whisper praise in his ear, telling him how pretty he looks and how good he’s being for you.

“you wanna cum for me, pretty boy? that feel good? you like when i touch you like this, don’t you? such a good boy for me, armin.”

𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘪 𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘯

no defined power dynamic/roles – you do whatever the mood calls for. sometimes he’s pounding you into next week, sometimes you’re denying him orgasms for two hours straight until his voice cracks when he begs.

that being said, levi is a natural brat-tamer and can be a hard dom when he’s agitated and needs to blow off steam. his job is literally to keep brats in check – he doesn’t tolerate insubordination or backtalk (sometimes you test that out though). 

restraining your arms behind your back with his belt, spanking you until you can’t sit, reprimanding slaps, filthy degradation, punishing thrusts. he can be mean. 

“soaking through your panties and i didn’t even touch you. pathetic.” “i wasn’t fucking asking. knees, now.” 

he’s a masochist and loves when you scratch up his back, wrap a hand around his throat, bite him, pull his hair, etc.

borderline sadistic in the way that he will make you cum twenty times before he even considers letting up. he’s relentless. 

loves watching you get yourself off, or make out with you while you get each other off 

gets weak when you pull him in by the shirt collar

holds your hands :)

quickies are usually the only option due to your chaotic schedules. you get at least five minutes alone together, you don’t take it for granted. 

slow morning sex is his favorite – the sun is barely peeking over the horizon and you don’t have to worry about the outside world yet. it’s just the two of you and you can really take your time. 

starts off kind of shy about being vocal and you need to ease him into it

after he finishes, he’ll take a moment to caress and admire your pretty face and kiss your forehead, then make a teasing comment about how you’re sweaty. 

gets a little carried away and accidentally rips all the buttons off your shirt

giving you head is a form of stress relief for him, he really just loves pleasuring you 

takes incredible care of you afterwards – acts as a crutch when your legs are too shaky, gets you water, wipes away messes with a damp cloth, even runs you a bath if you have that much time.

“tch. don’t say i never do anything for you, brat.”

likes when you give him hickies in spots that his uniform will cover. it’s a secret that only the two of you are in on.

levi gets a little publicly affectionate when you return to your duties after having sex – still incredibly reserved, but he’ll ruffle your hair and look at you with the fondest eyes. maybe give your hand a squeeze if nobody’s looking.

𝘫𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘬𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘪𝘯

naturally dominant. typically a softer dom unless you provoke him, then he has no issue roughing you up and fucking you into a drooling mess.

so big and strong and loves any position that demonstrates that – fucking you against the wall with your legs wrapped tight around his hips, stand-and-carry, having you on top and bouncing you like you weigh nothing. 

loves when you dig your nails into his back

slightly prefers ass over tits but is overall a leg/thigh kind of guy. includes feet. i’m so sorry.

stockings/thigh high socks/fishnets/garters absolutely knock him out 

great stamina while you’re fucking but almost instantly falls asleep when you’re done. or just wants to cuddle. 

mildly into somnophilia (receiving – loves being woken up with blowjobs)

praises you heavily while you’re riding him

“that’s it, just like that. good girl. good fucking girl.” 

can get a little too romantic when he’s really close and not thinking clearly

“gonna make me cum, angel, love this pussy so fucking much. love you so fucking much.” 

prefers cumming inside you but he’s really just happy to be included 

he gets a little goofy during quickies and does things like bite your asscheek before eating you out. 

secretly loves when you tie his wrists to the headboard and use him however you want. overstimulation is one of his favorite things, especially when it’s your hand forcing orgasm after orgasm from him. 

generally into rope-play but also really likes using his hands and sheer strength alone

bite his bottom lip or gently touch his upper thigh and he’s instantly hard

he’s a hopeless romantic! masturbating alone isn’t the same! he likes dirty-talking on the phone with you when you’re not together, or he just waits until you are. 

will break the headboard and dent the wall if he gets carried away

loves shower sex after stressful days

gets hard from making out – especially if you’re half-dressed on his lap and grinding against his bulge. sometimes he can feel you all warm and throbbing through your panties and he almost blacks out. 

worships your pussy but he will actually start writing his vows the moment you take him down your throat. 

request your fav here. more of my writing. 

[lizleeships]

I’ve been seeing some ageist shit going around lately and while I don’t like sharing personal info on the internet all that much, in support of my mutuals I’m gonna say: I’m 37 years old. I hate being 37 years old, and I’ve gotten here kicking and screaming because getting old IS scary, for some. But that’s not the point.

Fandom doesn’t just go away. The things you enjoy don’t just vanish because you pass 25. I have a life, a grown-up job, responsibilities. But I also fandom with all my might, because it’s who I am, and that’s not predicated on age. I’ve hyperfixated and fangirled since I was 11 years old. Fandom and internet communities gave me the companionship and creativity I craved as a lonely, bullied geeky kid, and have helped shape me as the respectable and functional adult and artist I consider myself to be now. I grew up on the internet; it’s part of my personal culture and growth, my creative inspiration and it’s where my found family is. I never would have figured out I was queer without fandom and online communities either. And frankly, if I hadn’t found the internet as a desperately lonely and depressed kid all those years ago, I’d not be here today.

I belong here just as much as all the young folk, whom I respect and constantly learn from. I’m not just going to put that away because “old people online are creepy”. Interacting with younger people isn’t necessarily deliberate, but it sure as hell keeps me relevant, informed, and open to learning  and I actually really treasure those interactions. I’m saddened that some people would take that away from me because I’ve passed a milestone based on archaic societal norms. I also think these issues stem from internalized sexism in fandom (we wouldn’t be having this conversation if I was a dude), but that’s a whole other bag of arthritis cream.

Anyway, if anyone has a problem with my or anyone else’s age, young or old, y’all can stop consuming my art too, and while you’re at it, suck my wrinkly old tits (which still look pretty marvellous, actually). The rest of you are lovely and deserve all the cookies (and prune juice). I love you.