#and comes from only a recent introduction to those terms

[zoeythegoodgirl]

Could you please elaborate on what a pillow princess top is ? 🙏❤️

I did mean it mostly as a joke, but I do feel like it's...sort of accurate?

A pillow princess, sometimes also called a stone bottom, is a woman (usually considered femme) who doesn't touch their partner much or even at all during sexual intimacy, preferring mostly to receive the attention from them. This can be for a number of reasons from trauma to literally just preference.

But I'm not really a bottom. I don't have any interest in being penetrated at all. But I also very much prefer to receive than to give when it comes to sexual intimacy. I want to be the focus; I want my partner to want to pleasure me. And sometimes I do feel a twinge of guilt and worry that I'm following in the "selfish top" trope, especially because I am AMAB.

In the simplest terms, I want to be ridden more than anything else.

[under-lore]

About "Tweets aren't canon"

One misconception that one seems to be nearly guaranteed to see brought up by someone whenever discussing Undertale/Deltarune lore with people who are not particularly invested in it is that "Toby Fox said tweets weren't canon".

And, when you first hear it, it actually sounds quite convincing, because this tweet is in fact real and does seem to say that.

So... What's actually going on here with tweets and with this one in particular ?

The actual status of tweets

Before mentioning what's really going on with that specific tweet, i'd like to lay some groundwork first.

For instance, regarding the fact that this tweet dates back from November 2016. And that if the tweet were to be taken seriously, it would mean that no tweets especially after that date are to be treated as canon.

Something that is rather explicitely not the case.

There are several examples for this, although the Gaster tweets which introduced us to Deltarune and directly link up to the game's "Goner Maker" introduction sequence are i would say prime offenders.

Here in these tweets, we are not yet connected, then we are given a way to connect.

Then, we pick this back up where we left it in Deltarune, where we are then asked wether the connection was a success.

This has of course been pointed out to Toby (although he never responded to those messages), and yet it did not prevent him from re-doing the exact same thing a few years later for chapter 2.

In short, the situation is that, to this day, Toby Fox still purposely uses tweets in order to provide important canon-accurate information about his games, with the Spamton Q&A as recently as last year.

In light of that, using that one tweet to say that any information coming from tweets is invalid just can't be right... So one might wonder :

But then, why did Toby say that ?

The problem comes from the fact that this quote is usually cropped like this when people try to share it around :

Which is greatly misleading !

Obviously, Toby Fox's popularity comes mainly from Undertale and later Deltarune. Due to this, and due to the majority of the fandom nowadays being teenagers, many in the fandom are not aware that ever since his own teenage years, Toby Fox has been for the lack of a better term, a massive shitposter. A habit that only started to die out after Undertale's release and in the year that followed. (Though he still shows glimpses of it from time to time)

I mean, we are talking about the person who kept on posting memes on twitter for nearly a decade and who made "a goast poot on u" at the end of the Earthbound Halloween Hack, his first semi-serious game project.

Why ?

Because he's just that kind of "funny guy" and felt like it. His words, not mine.

This was, up until not so long ago, the kind of person that Toby was online.

When taking all this into account and looking back at the un-cropped version of that quote, it becomes pretty obvious what's going on here.

Toby Fox found a bootleg nursery rhyme video of Undertale characters, found that hilarious (As the "funny guy" that he is), and decided to make a shitpost about it. Joking about how this weird thing that he found, right here, was the peak of official Undertale material and might just be more canon in his book than the kickstarter or tweets were.

The post that started this whole thing in the first place was just that, a shitpost, a joke, not something that Toby ever actually meant. Which honestly should have been pretty obvious in the first place, i mean, this is still a post about Toby trolling bootleg nursery rhymes, people. It wasn't meant to be taken seriously...

Besides, that tweet's statement would have been self-contradictory anyways. If tweets weren't canon, then this tweet would not be canon either, etc... Leading to one of those silly paradoxical loops rather than to an actual statement about tweet canonicity.

So then, that brings the question : Why ?

Why do so many people still claim that tweets aren't canon ?

The reason is likely the same as the reason why this misconception was created in the first place : It is a rope to cling on to for some people to defend certain headcanons that Toby had debunked via tweets.

Because yes, between late 2015 and late 2016 Toby used to once in a while answer a question about the lore of the game on tweeter. Leaving some people with their headcanons turning out to be wrong.

(A few examples of headcanons that Toby denied on twitter were that Undyne killed the green soul human, or that ghost monsters used to be humans, for example.)

It was some of those people, in the first place, who started cropping this tweet to make it seem like their headcanons were still on the table and started the mess in the first place.

This rumor, at its origins, was not just a mere misconception but rather a deliberate attempt at misinformation from some fans that weren't happy with the way Toby had taken the game, which is unfortunately still being shared around to this day due to how sensible it seems at first sight.

[ripplestitchskein]

I just saw the funniest thing about Stolitz and it really reinforced my belief that people just cannot handle the long period between episodes indie animation requires. They just cannot make connections for that long and their own personal expectations and imaginings of what it should be have too much time to percolate. As a recent comer to the HB fandom who watched the entirety of the series in a single afternoon and skipped the Pilot because it’s not canon I am having a completely different experience. I attribute this mostly to the Pilot, as that seems to have colored peoples opinions of Stolas and subsequently Stolitz in such a wild way and they had to sit with that characterization for so long they just cannot fathom that the story is playing out much differently than the Pilot set up. And yes a year is a long time to sit with expectations of a show direction and a characterization I won’t fault them for that.

“They turned Stolas into sad clown boy”. “The show is all about Stolitz relationship drama now”.

Did we watch the same Season 1, Episode 2? Because our first “real” introduction to Stolas is immediately good dad, sad owl boy, relationship with Blitzo. The first episode sets up the current state of the Blitzø/Stolas relationship, sets up the business and overall character dynamics but doesn’t really give us any information on their backgrounds or current emotional states. It hints at a few things coming up, a few things to look into further but nothing beyond surface level. As you’d expect from a first episode. The 2nd episode shows us that some major things were gonna be exploring are Blitzo and Stolas, Stolas and his family situation, Blitzo’s history as a clown and why he hates Fizzarolli bot so much, the Moxxie/Millie dynamic and brief brushings on Loona and how Blitzo interacts with his employees, but I’d say we actually get more information on Stolas and Stolitz earlier on in the show than we do anything else. It was setup from the beginning that these were all major premises we were going to explore and….WE DO. We start the season that way. We end the season a little further down the road but still focusing on those basic things setup in the first two episodes.

I see a lot of criticisms of the writing but from my perspective, watching them all in a row the writing is pretty spot on in terms of set up, change, payoff. And the structure is exactly what we expect for a multi season show. They introduce Stolitz at one point in their relationship in S1 Ep 1, and by Ozzie’s we have a very clear change that was progressed through the other episodes of the season. That same narrative thread, introduced at the beginning of the show is carried through into S2 and the underpinnings of reactions we saw in S1 episodes 1 and 2 are revealed throughout, we now see why Stolas and Blitzø react the way they did in S1Ep1 via the storytelling in S2Ep1 and the structure of those two being the first episodes of their respective seasons is exactly what a writer should do. They feed into each other perfectly. A person watching only those two episodes would have no trouble filling in the rest of the seasons or the story at large and that’s exactly what a serialized writer should do. The show didn’t change anything midstream, it didn’t shift plot points, it very clearly setup these pins to knock them down as we go on. Fizzarolli backstory? Done. Blitzo’s relationship with Millie and Moxie had several episodes of exploration, we see a bit more about Loona and Blitzo and Stolas’s marriage drama is the main catalyst for overall big drama and they are exactly where they should be if you are plotting this out using a three act structure for a television format.

Things are REVEALED they aren’t changed, and while real life concerns and schedules and business things do affect how episodes get released or how things play out or which characters are available to appear, not knowing any of that background until AFTER I had already watched the show I’d say the writers are doing a pretty remarkable job keeping the flow, of developing the characters and relationships and paying off what they setup waaay at the beginning 3 years ago when they released eps 1 and 2. They’ve also done a great job of giving every character a little moment to shine even though, as they established in episodes 1 and 2, the main focus is on Blitzø, Stolas and how their relationship is the catalyst for everything. That it’s why I.M.P does what it does.

I highly suggest people watch it from start to finish without the Pilot, or at least just the first two episodes and S2 Ep 1 and take into account what is shown and setup at the very start versus the story we are currently at and I really think it will show that nothing has changed, the story is progressing as it should, at the pace it should, and that the characters are growing and changing as they should based on the things that have occurred.

[felassan]

Some snippets of interest and insight from Mark Darrah, from a Mark Darrah on Games YouTube video where he is livestreaming playing Dragon Age II -

On Dragon Age: Dreadwolf and sort've like, the franchise in general:

A comment in chat asked "What do you think about the recent DA:D leaks?" Mark replied that he doesn't really think that there is much in those leaks.

A comment in chat mentioned the possible 2 companions setup from the leaks. Mark said "honestly, I think the 2 companions is probably better for storytelling than 3, because you're able to have a more consistent banter setup, as opposed to having someone [else] there just hanging on".

Chat asked if he was worried about the quality of writing in DA:D. He replied "I'm not worried about the quality of writing in Dreadwolf at all, no".

Chat asked "What are your thoughts on the Dreadwolf leaks as far as the Dragon Age gameplay moving towards hack'n'slash vs cRPG?" He said that DAII and DA:I are both action RPGs, it's just that what action RPGs are has changed over the last while. He said he thinks DA:D is continuing to try to be an action RPG, and that "I don't think they're trying to be God of War, in spite of what the rumors say. Though if you're making an action RPG these days you have to at least be influenced by God of War. Dragon Age has always had to be, it's always been in this problem of not being able to be itself within EA, so it's always having to change."

Chat asked "Why God of War, and not, say, Dragon's Dogma?" Mark explained that when looking for previous other games as comparison points/inspiration points etc, devs have to be careful not to go too far back into the past (& that Dragon's Dogma is a great game, but from quite a while ago now).

When talking about primer and detonator tactics like grease and fireball, he observed that the series generally has been moving away from this type of tactics. Grease/fireball for instance requires a certain degree of targeting that he thinks is a bit impractical, but things like mana clash are things which could continue to exist.

Red Hawke-style options in terms of metrics are the least picked by players, same as Renegade options in Mass Effect. (while Blue Hawke is likely the most chosen) They're there to simply be there more than they are to be the most-picked choice. There could be an opportunity here for devs to spend less resources in development on evil or mean choices in future, but they still need to be there.

Varric is pretty much the only true non-quantum companion from DA:I. Mark noted that if a character's quantum state isn't dead/not dead but is rather recruited/not recruited, they can always write it such that the character survived. (He also mentioned as an example that Isabela's quantum "collapsed" and was "undone" in DA:I).

He also mentioned that he will probably do livestreams playing DA:D as he has done with DA:O and is doing with DAII, but thinks it's unlikely that he will be done with streaming DA:I by then, so at that point he'll likely set DA:I aside, do DA:D and then come back to DA:I.

On Dragon Age: Absolution:

Chat asked what he thought about Meredith coming back in the show. "I don't have a problem with Meredith coming back because as revealed, it looks like she's basically almost entirely embedded in red lyrium or maybe is some kind of lyrium ghost, so I think it's certainly beyond plausible."

[source]

He also talked more generally about DAII and the previous games in general. These bits are collected under a cut due to length:

Regarding DAII's overkill, he said that the goal of DAII is to make the game "look like something", as DA:O doesn't really "look like something". The overpowered, Varric-embellished introduction to the game anchors this

Cassandra's hair isn't supposed to seem light-colored during the Varric interrogation sequence, this was probably a lighting issue

He commented that he feels Varric's voice has changed quite a bit from DAII to DA:I

Mages are super overpowered in DA:O in a very D&D way

DA:O is more difficult on PC than on consoles. He doesn't think this is the case for DAII and DA:I though

DA:O was trying to be a spiritual successor to Baldur's Gate (at least, that's what was said out loud). But Neverwinter Nights snuck in there a few times as DA:O bounced in and out of Multiplayer. So DA:O has some fingerprints on it which look like NWN. Also, it was originally built using some of its code, which ended up in the engine, Aurora

In the MET, because it's a trilogy and Shepard is the PC in each game, every single choice you made still mattered going forwards, whereas with DA, a lot of the more personal choices can be washed away game to game. That's an advantage in terms of responding to choices (as devs can set aside what they want to set aside, whereas ME3 was really bogged down by the weight of 2 games of previous choices)

On Flemeth's appearance in DAII, as a voice actor Kate was really "chewing the scenery" there and allowed to do so (to chew the scenery means to play a role in a very energetic, emotional or dramatic way); it got too expensive with Orange is the New Black to keep Kate in a big role going fowards

The slave statues at the entrance to Kirkwall are huge and probably magic

He mentioned that he thought Freddie Prinze Jr. was awesome as he was one of the most active voice actors that they had in terms of talking about his experience and how much he loved it

A comment in chat said "I just wish we had black stones in Kirkwall. any reason they made the stone white in this media only? books, animation, and codex say it's a pitch black stone city" and he explained that this is because black is almost incredibly hard to do in this engine, and that pitch black is not a good choice for level art in a video game

Chat asked "Do you feel DAII was too narratively ambitious at the start?" and Mark replied "Yeah probably, the writers have always had some difficulty keeping their ambitions in check"

Chat asked "Was it known since DA:O what Flemeth's story was?" and he replied that he thinks they always knew Flemeth was Mythal, but can't remember for sure

DAII is the most character-focused game, partially because during its development everything else had to get stripped away, but also because it laid the seeds of the devs finally admitting what BioWare are about

Chat asked "Was it ever discussed, bringing a Warden Hawke sibling to Nightmare in DA:I?" He said that he thinks it was discussed but the problem of bringing in the Warden sibling is that only one of them is alive, so they would have been dealing with quantum. They already were dealing with quantum, so they could have brought them, but only a small group of people would have the attachment to each character, because half of people would care about one and half about the other

Chat asked "Was DA:O or DA:I considered more of a success by BioWare?" DA:I sold better and has more awards, but it's hard to be down on DA:O as it was the first game and set up the IP

He feels that in a weird way, DA kind of ends up being in a similar weird place as Star Wars, in that the trilogy a fan likes best is often the one they saw when they were a child. There are people for whom Clone Wars is the pinnacle of SW, and people for whom the prequels are. Similarly, with DA, the one a player got introduced to first is often their favorite one

Mark mentioned that they probably switched to Welsh accents for Dalish elves in DAII because they liked how the accent sounded. The dwarves were always intended to sound American

Were he to remaster DA:I he'd like to push the Power requirements down a bit, so that players can go through the gates to the main storyline pieces quicker

He discussed a bit around remakes vs remasters in the context of things that have aged badly (in terms of what's politically/socially acceptable now and what isn't, compared to back then) and said that if you remake a game, you have to re-address those issue, whereas with a remaster you get away with not doing so

If they were to remake/remaster DAII they would probably only do it because they were remaking/remastering DA:O

A comment in chat said "hear me out, a VR remake of DA:O" and he replied that VR still remains pretty niche, and that making VR work well requires a certain smoothness that is missing from DA:O

(pls note that in places there is a bit of paraphrasing of the info, the best source is always the primary source with full quotes in their original context)

[source]

[dontbotherwiththepronunciation]

Triggered by a conversation between mutuals that I wasn't able to partake in because I read it when it was already over but it still left me with a feeling of wanting to talk.

Many of my recent issues with this series and some of the characters in it come from coming to terms with the fact that people like me were never the intended demographic for it and thus many of my expectations and beliefs are unrealistic. I'm very much aware that every person who ever reads a text will understand it differently based on their experiences and emotions, we can see the most clear examples of it when it comes to the eternal debates on whether Jeyne & Sansa really bullied Arya or whether Catelyn's treatment of Jon should be considered abuse, but at least in my case the projection is based more on political situations that have strongly affected me and my loved ones and that are difficult to talk about in the open without feeling like my concerns are exaggerated and are also ruining other people's fun.

This is a fun series that has given my solace written by a white usan democrat who writes orientalist tropes and gives no real personality to any of his fully-canon-not-up-to-interpretation characters of colour and uses a half assed excuse to not have any of the main characters be a not-up-to-interpretation character of colour.

An example that is lighthearted and makes me chuckle could be my perception of the Vale. To me Mya Stone wears heavy colourful ponchos while Myranda wears a sanq'apa, Domeric Bolton played not only the harp but also the charango, maté is a common drink, and at least some of Sweetrobyn's lacking health comes from soroche. None of this is contradictory to the canon but I know that if I were to meet grrm and tell him of these concepts, he would probably think I'm on crack but would smile in false sympathy while Liiiiiiindaaaaaaaaa (and some readers, fans and tumblerinas) would just straight up tell me to go read something from my shithole country instead of tarnishing the beautiful and perfect European-based world of ice and fire./sar

And I am aware that the ironborn are perceived by most and are somewhat intended to be perceived as pseudo-historic "vikings but in the late Middle Ages" but I read these books when I was 12 and still thought that vikings were just a Hollywood invention, like the orange filter they put on Latin America or white saviours.

With this long introduction here are some random headcanons regarding ironborn lore and culture that aren't contradictory to canon but would probably clash against the more common fandom-built conceptions (many of which I do not like), sometimes accompanied by explanations and reasoning, often sentimental or based on personal experiences.

Nagga, the other unnamed dragon and the geographical formation of the islands

Heavily inspired by the myth of Trentren Vilu and Caicai Vilu. In the original real life mapuche myth the two giant snakes were enemies and after Caicai Vilu (sea snake) awoke form his slumber he caused a flood to bring down mankind because he considered them ungrateful brats who didn't appreciate the gifts offered by the sea. Trentren Vilu (land snake) helped the humans escape by raising the hills and turning those who drowned into sea creatures (fish, sea mammals and the mapuche equivalent to mermaids included) and those who were about to be engulfed by the waters into sea birds. Due to the long fighting and constant floods the land developed into thousands (not an exaggeration) islands.

My ironborn version of this isn't very different from the myth narrated above with Caicai Vilu's role becoming Nagga's and Trentren Vilu's being given to another sort of dragon that was it's oponent. The major difference in my headcanons is that said opponent perished, unlike Trentren, and Nagga kept on living and causing havoc until the Grey King finally killed it off. And if I am allowed to reach out even more with all this, the mermaid that the Grey King married could have been one of Nagga's victims saved by the other dragon but, taking into account what we know from Strange Stone this would mean that the formation of the Islands and the existence of merlings and the sea dragon would precede the Drowned God. That would be interesting.

Architectonic decoration

Some of my happiest memories take place in a small and poor fisher town in my home country that was usually damp and covered in fog. The beach was not a pleasant one. A remarkable thing about it was it's architecture that wasn't very particular in it's structure but still remains striking to me. The houses near the coast were all typical colourful, wooden stilt houses, but the further you got into land the houses would change and suddenly you found yourself in small and dirty alleys and streets between concrete houses that were rather plain in shape and old but the walls were covered in sea shells, and sometimes starfish and sea urchin carcasses, that had been plastered on the concrete. When I was 12 and had just moved to another country my class was tasked with making a dissertation about what we associate with the word "home". My teacher was a xenophobe who delighted in tormenting me and she laughed at the pictures and referred to them as tacky, my fellow classmates liked emulating her. I however still find them beautiful and that entire sentiment is something I mildly associate to the iron islands in a way.

It is my home. Flawed and meagre, but mine.

I also think that since sea shells are cheap and common it would fit into their more utilitarian tendencies; giving a purpose to what little they have instead of overspending (gold price) on aesthetics. For some reason this is something I like imagining at Harlaw and Lordsport in particular. Here are pictures

Music

Feel weird about this because music in the entirety of Westeros is very generic and that makes it a little boring in my opinion. When it comes to Ironborn we are told of two reaving songs ("Steel Rain" and "The Bloody Cup") and it's mentioned quite often by ironborn characters that getting a song about them is something they should strive for. There might even be some religious reasons behind it too but that wasn't expanded on:

The Drowned God had made them to reave and rape, to carve out kingdoms and write their names in fire and blood and song. - Theon I, ACOK

Makes me wonder if Theon's "Let Abel make a song of that, we flew." could have been influenced by ironborn culture too instead of just his usual romanticism and the chivalric connotations of him "saving the girl". I haven't compared this to the other characters so I can't be sure about this but from my notes Theon seems to think quite a lot about wanting to be in/not being fit for a song.

We also have Loron Greyjoy, "the Bard", and we know very little of him except for that he used to have a gay ol' time with Desmond Mallister, but there's nothing that points to him being looked down on by the other ironborn and the nickname "the bard" feels significant but there's no info so what am I to make up with that? Well, I like to think he was a bit of a patron of the arts and maybe even a composer. The two reaving songs have no mentioned origins so maybe he was involved in their creation.

The thralls were pouring ale, and there was music, fiddles and skins and drums. - Theon II, ACOK

I like all of those instruments but grrm you are a bore. Westeros is about the size of South America and yet they have a total of nine instruments named. Loved the mention of kettledrums during the kingsmoot though.

The largest kettledrum in the world finds itself in Bali and serves religious purposes. I like to believe that perhaps the kettledrums during the kingsmoot also had some religious reasons for their use. Perhaps traditional melodies used to announce the different contenders for the seastone chair.

Drums make sense for reaving songs and truth be told I'm not sure to what he was referring with "skins" but I was surprised by the fiddles because they seemed like a wink at the just as anachronistic golden age piracy, even if fiddles have been around since the 10th century. This makes me think of more folkloric oriented music made more for dancing in taverns and harbours than for rowing.

When being deranged I became aware that percussion and string instruments can be played underwater as they don’t rely solely on air to transfer sound (they would still be very difficult to play and the sound would be weird). Dragging a bow across a fiddle would probably be easier than strumming a harp or lyre though. I don’t think the ironborn are deranged enough to try to play music under water but it makes for a fun picture to imagine them being more fond of sounds that can be transferred through it. I’m imagining them trying echolocation with dolphins.

For some reason I can’t really explain I like the idea of them playing the marimba and other percussion wood based instruments.

I like to believe that the finger dance can be somewhat compared to capoeira as in serving aesthetically pleasing and artistic purposes but also carrying a sort of danger and fighting spirit to it. It is something I can see as a pastime, acrobatic exercise and art and I like that.

Some mapiko dancers will bind sea shells in nets to their clothes and they will use them as bells and rattles when they dance. I like to think this could maybe be part of the finger dance when performed for artistic purposes, like perhaps a diplomatic visit or a national festivity, instead of just as a game.

(not ironborn lore related but as I went through my notes I realised that Theon is usually tense when thinking or witnessing happyish heroic sort of songs but he seems to be weirdly at peace/melancholic around "sad" and "soft" songs during ADWD and I find that very endearing. Go listen to Chris Garneau's between the bars and castle time you sad sulking ghost I love you I wish I could have seen you thrive but we are all doomed : ) )

Priestesses of the drowned god

I am heavily against the fandom notion that the Ironborn built a culture out of toxic masculinity that is particularly misogynistic when in canon women in the island (or at least ironborn women) have more liberties than in most of Westeros (with Dorne as an exception and maaaaaybe the North). The only female stewards we see in the series are all iron islanders and Asha being allowed to reave and raid and engage in spaces usually reserved to men isn't the exception to the rule. Theon mentions that women like her aren't uncommon in the isles, Asha is said to have resembled her mother in spirit and Hagen's beautiful red headed daughter, who is so low on the socio-economical hierarchy that she doesn't even get her own name, is not only allowed to behave similarly to Asha, but her sexual freedom is never questioned or criticised either. I honestly think that their most problematic issues come from feelings of ethnic superiority, not a personal vendetta against women.

So, I find it disappointing and lazy that we haven't gotten any female spaces in the faith of the drowned god. I remember someone mentioning on a Tumblr post that on one of the asoiaf based video games drowned priestesses were a thing. Sadly I have never played any of the video games and I can't find any further sources for this so I don't know if I should trust that. But! I like that idea. Drowned priests are restless; they have no home and are made to basically pilgrim their life away; they travel around the islands and also accompany the men on raids. I think it would be cool if the priestesses of the drowned god had a more stable role in ironborn society. During the age of heroes we had salt and rock kings and in a way I could see the drowned priestesses as the rock to the drowned priests salt but with less authority.

Maesters are still somewhat recent in the Iron Islands and I don't think that Septas would have been appreciated by most ironborn women given their teachings and expectations around gender norms so I like believing that priestesses of the drowned god could occupy that space as educators of children and healers. History and religion seemed to be tied together in ironborn culture and their religion at least passed down orally so I can imagine them acting somewhat similar to mande jèli but with more of a focus on religion and less importance on the overall politics. I can also imagine them performing less important rites, like weddings, coming of age ceremonies or maybe fertility related acts. So basically a mixture between Maester and Septa with a lesser standing to their male counterparts.

Rafts as beds

Drowned priests, who have no homes, should sleep on rafts on nights that are more or less calm because that is a magical experience that I think everyone should go through at least once in their life but it's also fitting to their entire suffering theme because you will freeze to death and get a cold.

Dhows

I learnt how to row, sail, fish and use the night sky as a map before I learned how to ride a bike and my personal nitpicking issue with the world building in asoiaf is the nautical terms used. What do you mean longships and galleys that have decks and cabins????? Even if they have two levels of rowers (and most of the described ones don't) this rarely makes sense!

And you know what? I'm not even going to take my time to give them accurate Viking-like ships. In my head, they travel on dhows. "Dhow" is a generic term to refer to certain types of sailing boats that are mostly used around the Indian Ocean and I am in love with them.

They are precious to me and they allow me more variety when imagining the different ships mentioned in relation to the ironborn characters.

Sea Bitch for example looks more like a beden to me than like a typical Viking longship

but I can still imagine smaller, simpler looking galleys when needed, like a Dhoni. They can carry quite a lot of heavy stuff so they are usually good for trading (and probably raiding) too.

If I recall correctly, the Iron fleet has been identified by the text as some hybrid between dromonds and longships and I can be content with that definition. Personally I picture them more like Byzantine dromonds with a deck, cabins and more than one set of rowers.

Colloquialisms

I have always perceived colloquialisms as a subtle type of resistance to colonial and imperial forces, so I assume that the less integrated and maybe more separatist parts of Westeros (such as the Iron Islands, Dorne and maybe The North) would probably have a wider range of colloquialism as region based expressions. This is difficult to convey in fanworks of any sort and I can't think of any time I've made it noticeable in any of my fanworks but I like thinking about it. This could include idioms related to religious or geographical lore or more ambitious terms stemming from perhaps a former language spoken in the region or words taken and adapted from places they have sailed to, like the Summer Islands.

[mittensmorgul]

do you have any/know of any analyses on castiel's entire fall from heaven being queercoded (as in his fall from heaven is treated like a conservative family would treat a child coming out as lgbt) bc i cannot stop thinking about "When Castiel first laid a hand on you in hell, he was lost." the quote is driving me insane. if you dont have any thats fine i just. Man.

HELLO! and yes, i'm sure there's some on my blog, but finding them might take a bit... i've been really bad about replying to messages lately (i've only been on tumblr sporadically recently, but hopefully i'll be able to spend more time here soon... i'm finally getting a short break from real life nonsense soon... i just didn't want this to linger in the inbox and get buried.

Okay, so... *four hours later* i have been spelunking through my blog looking through a bunch of old tags, and i found a few things for you. There was a lot of Big Discussions that touch on the subject back around s12, that caused a lot of fractures in fandom and bad feelings, so I'm posting some of the links here but just know there's a lot more floating around (some of which i no longer have access to). so also tread lightly through some of these...

*FIVE HOURS LATER because i had to leave the house to Do Stuff...*

I FINALLY FOUND ONE POST SPECIFICALLY ABOUT THIS!

a long post that touches briefly on this:

and one more, because i've spent all day on this now :'D

I will say that if you explore some of the meta tags at the bottom of those posts, it'll likely lead you to more of the same, but i'm officially tapping out for tonight lol

[auspex]

VtM Fangfest 2024 Prompt : The Empress

Hello! Here is my fourth fic for Fangfest 2024 :)

All my fics will be about characters that are previously established, so you might not have context for everything mentioned or hinted at within :( Feel free to reach out to ask I love explaining!

I've never really posted my writing before so be kind!

my first fic is here

my second fic is here

my third fic is here

This fic is about a Nosferatu from the game I am the storyteller for, Blood and Silicon, which has its own blog run by the player @chiss-ticism here: @sanguineasylum. This one was a bit rushed so perhaps less well proof-read as the others D:

Van lazily threw a paper plane towards the garbage. “Now Vic,” she flicked one of her hoop earrings as she spoke; “I understand what he’s askin’ me to do. What I’m not sure about is if this one is worth the risk, and the time. We’re busy these nights, you know that.”  

Rubbing his face profusely, though expertly avoiding the open boils that covered his skin, Vic spoke through his hands. “Ugh. Look. Don’t kill me Van.” 

“The hell does that mean.” 

“Ok so,” he crossed his arms in front of his chest protectively. “We get the usual payment, a promising contact in LA, and we fuck over the Ventrue. And I uhm, kind of accidentally already said we’d do it.” 

Van’s voice was gravel. Even more so than usual. “Hand me the fucking file. Then get out.” 

“Thanksyou’rethebest bye!” 

She didn’t have to tell him twice. 

Flipping through it, the request seemed routine. The only trouble was who it was for. But hey, no one said this shit would be easy. Van wouldn’t let Vic know it, but she would have agreed anyways. 

So many kindred wanted to travel to LA these nights, ever since the anarch foothold there solidified. Smuggling those who were being hunted by the Camarilla to LA and getting them properly embedded was just one of the many services the Nosferatu of San Jose provided, and Van was the essential head of operations. Once they made it to her, only the last leg of the journey was left. 

It was straight down the freeway to LA. Any would-be Camarilla pursuers knew it, and if their quarry got this far, they tended to become desperate. 

Now, getting there was only half the battle, but Van handled everything - the trip, and getting settled. An all inclusive package, to those who would pay the cash, and be a source of intel for the Nosferatu for the next 2 decades of their unlives. After doing it for a decade, Van knew practically as much going on in LA as she did in San Jose. 

She drummed her long fingernails on her desk as she read through the profile. “Richard, Hoàng’s sire, huh.” Surprising. Richard had embraced Hoàng in San Jose and clearly was positioning him to work closely with promising up-and-comers. Such a long term strategy would imply Richard wasn’t leaving anytime soon. 

But it seems his past was catching up with him. Richard’s sire, Anthony, had recently awoken for torpor, and was not pleased with Richard’s defection. Those Cammie Ventrue had a reputation to uphold and all that. San Jose was far from New Orleans, his native city, but LA was even further from the Camarilla’s reach.  

Oh, fuck you Vic. And here was the kicker. 

Richard didn’t just want an introduction and safe passage to LA. He wanted his death faked, and assurance that the Nosferatu would corroborate his final death to any-would be investigators. 

Still, a deal could always be sweetened. Van smiled. Perhaps this actually presented an opportunity.

~

“Richard. Thanks for coming by.” 

“Of course. Thanks for having me. You have a lovely office. I like, erm, your posters.”

Van turned her head to look. Her tiger posters were striking, she had to admit. 

“Yeah. Yeah. Preciate’ it or whateva. Didn’t have you come by to show you my decor though.” 

The well-dressed Ventrue nodded and clasped his hands in front of them, laying them on the desk. He spoke in a slight Yat accent. “But of course. We can get down to business. How were you considering handling my proposal?” 

“Oh well, yanno.” She tilted her head deeply to the left, casually leaning and resting her head on her hand. “It’s not the most ridiculous thing I’ve considered. Pretty close to acceptable, actually.” 

Richard raised his eyebrows, but kept a congenial smile. “I thought it was found to be acceptable already?” 

“Look Richie. I dunno, I guess you twisted Vic’s arm about it, god knows it isn’t hard to, but if you want a job done right, it betta be worth my while. I’ll do it, but if you want a real convincin’ death? Let’s bring Hoàng into it.” 

His smile dropped. “You might need to do some explaining.” 

“It’s simple. Despite what you’ve done for him, proppin’ him up or whateva’, and despite keepin’ him bonded, anyone with a brain can see he resents you for forcing him to cut ties with his kid early. He’s barely a neonate.” 

“I can see where you’re going with this. Perhaps.” 

“No, ya don’t, I’m not done. I reach out to him, I cut a deal with him - say I’ll get ya killed, and keep his hands clean. Now we got a paper trail of the death. If your old man comes around, we accidentally leak the info.” Van accentuated the word ‘accidentally’ with air quotes quite dramatically with her unnaturally long nails. “Plus, Hoàng now owes the Nos for doin’ nothing we wouldn’t have done anyways, so we all benefit. I can arrange it. You don’t gotta worry bout’ a thing Richie. I just need ya to confirm some things about him… and provide somethin’ to prove-” again, accentuated by air quotes- “we got your ass.” 

“This could work. And please, call me Richard.” 

~

“Oh, Vic, it is good t’have a reputation. A lesser kindred could have never pulled that deal off. Now, when ya meet with Hoàng, be real nice, okay?” 

“I always am, Van.” 

“Ya, I know, that was sarcasm. Fuckit man, get meaner. Make sure he really feels like he owes us - Richie here positioned him well, let’s get that intel. Now get out.”  

Van turned before Victor could reply and returned to her spreadsheet on the computer screen. She didn’t much care for technology, but with the amount of cash she had… well, it definitely was easier to use than a physical calculator. 

Cobbling together fake IDs took lots of money. Bribing anarchs to accept Ventrue in LA cost extra. Vic really should have charged this asshole more. 

[coochiequeens]

The school could have just created a gender neutral third bathroom. Instead they took away the one place a girl could be safe from male harassment. And creating more work for the custodial staff since the moids are missing in the sanitary bins.

Brisbane State High School: Girls are left too scared to go to the toilet after female-only bathrooms are converted into a unisex block - with boys 'loitering outside and urinating in sanitary bins'

Girls toilets converted to unisex at co-ed school 

Parents accuse male students of urinating on seats 

By FREDDY PAWLE FOR DAILY MAIL AUSTRALIA

PUBLISHED: 05:02 EDT, 18 April 2024 

A partially-selective school's decision to convert a girls' bathroom into a unisex toilet block has left parents concerned after a reported 'behavioural incident'.

Prestigious co-ed Brisbane State High School recently converted its P Block of female-only toilets to accommodate for either sex.

Since then, male students have been accused of intimidating female classmates outside the  unisex block and urinating over toilet seats and sanitary bins, the Courier Mail reported.

The decision to change the bathroom's gender restrictions is required by the state's Department of Education and Queensland Human Rights Commission.

The commission has ordered schools to have a specific proportion of both gender specific and unisex toilets.

A prestigious co-ed school, Brisbane State High School (pictured), have come under fire for suddenly changing some girl's toilets to unisex this week

An email notifying parents of the change said the toilets are 'now a shared space and should be treated with respect by all students using the facility'.

One parent said female students were no longer entering the bathrooms.

'You have boys using those cubicles that were originally for girls p***ing everywhere, including on the sanitary bins in those limited stalls that now have them,' they told the Courier Mail.

'It's creating a very negative experience for the girls of the school.' 

The parent added that they didn't have an issue with the 'need to cater for diversity' but with the lack of consultation with parents before the change was made.

Another parent told the publication they were okay with the lack of consultation as it gave no time for the 'naysayers' to delay the change.  

'I think it's a good idea as it provides neutral facilities for those students that are non-binary,' the parent said. 

Parents have claimed female students are now afraid to enter the unisex block after male students urinated over toilet seats and sanitary bins

A spokesperson for the Department of Education said they are 'committed to providing inclusive facilities to respect and value diversity'.

'The introduction this term of a dedicated unisex toilet facility is available to anyone who wishes to use it.

'The school continues to provide separate girls and boys toileting facilities on both campuses. Sanitary bins have not been removed from school bathrooms.'

The spokesperson said the school is aware of an incident that 'occurred near, not inside, a school toilet facility' and that has been dealt with in line with the Student Code of Conduct.

They added that 'allegations that male students were intimidating girls or urinating on the toilet seats and sanitary bins in this toilet facility are unfounded'.

'The school takes all parent complaints seriously and deals with them as they arise.'

[jacksonscouts]

Gather round, Scouts!

Let's meet @roselees, our Scout Spotlight winner! Feel free to say hello or give reactions in the comments. Now without further ado...😊

1. What was your first introduction to TLOU?

Is this when I confess I'm a relatively new fan? 🙈 I first played the game in about 2021 when I was looking on the PS Plus catalogue for something to play, and I've been hooked ever since!

Finding out there was a show was just an added bonus, even if streaming it here isn't super accessible. I wasn't necessarily the biggest fan of games in this genre so it was an accident I stumbled across it, but I'm very glad I did.

2. What would Joel's favorite girl scout cookie be?

3. What TLOU moment lives rent-free in your head?

None.. he's on Atkins ✋️.. my terrible show reference aside, in terms of an actual answer, I'm not from the States so my knowledge of girl-scout cookies is limited to pop culture but after a bit of googling:

I think he'd be kinda basic.. he's probably a thin-mints kind of guy. Whatever Sarah would buy, he'd probably sneak one when she went to bed, in typical dad fashion.

4. Any special talents?

Tess' goodbye in the game was an especially poignant moment because I went into it completely blind - I hadn't had any spoilers and had no idea what was coming. I'm a big fan of exploring different types of relationship and connections within media and so I really loved how they managed to essentially canonize how important Tess and Joel were to one another in that final scene without having either of them out and out /say/ it.

Something about the way in which their relationship is so clearly this unspoken bond built up over the years was really beautifully done and it really does occupy so much space it should be paying rent

And for the show - I'll keep it quick here because I've rambled enough - but definitely the scene where they first arrive in Jackson. I'm also a sucker for found family and I adore how it leans into that trope as well as showing the first instance of Ellie struggling with that new dynamic; it's the first real moment in canon where she goes from being a FEDRA orphanage kid to realising she could have a real home somewhere and all that entails.

I love how you can see that on her face when they get there and she's clearly awestruck by the most mundane things, yet is obviously also struggling with Tommy being effectively this newfound obstacle because she has no idea how his presence is going to shake up the - already turbulent - dynamic she's developing with Joel. Safe to say I have an awful lot of thoughts about those two scenes LMAO

I wouldn't say I'm a super talented person all things considered but I am quite proud of my writing! I've been in fandom spaces for a long time but it's only in recent years I've really been happy with the quality of the work I'm putting out there; it's just for fun, but - as most fic authors on here can vouch for - I put a lot of time and energy into making the plot and the characters tick ❤️ I'm also a historian, which isn't necessarily a talent but something I'm equally passionate about!

5. Would you like to promote anything?

I wouldn't mind promoting my ao3 to anyone whose interested in reading some more TLOU fics - I'm roselees over there too. I currently have an ongoing canon-divergence AU where Tess, Joel and Tommy raise baby Ellie (who they discover at the same time as the Fireflies is in fact still immune in this timeline) and I have several others in the works: a Sarah!lives AU, a part one rewrite following the original idea for the game wherein Tess is the antagonist, and some Jackson!Joel and Ellie shenanigans.

I'd also 100% recommend that if you're a part of the LGBT community or just otherwise an enthusiastic ally, if you want to check out the @tloupride blog run by me and @consultingzoologist, for the whole of pride month we've been reblogging posts that relate to the queer community and TLOU, as well as providing prompts for people to submit their own fanart and fics! We're hoping to keep the blog up as an archive of LGBT pride within the fandom so if you're interested, be sure to check it out ❤️

[ensemblesongs]

!!! user ensemblesobgswhat are your favorite enstars stories !!?

I have to think for this one, hmm... My favourite stories have to beee...

In terms of enjoyability, and attempting not to have too much character bias, not in any order. Boldened are absolute favourites!

-Daydream & Lionheart are my all time favourite pieces of ansta writing, with an emphasis on Daydream. Lionheart has at least three translations online. I'm planning on re-reading two of those again just to compare them. I love an unreliable narrator. Sena really has been Leo's living unreliable narrator the whole time he's known him, hasn't he? Blackbird was good on a writing standpoint, but felt like a desperate attempt to get people to like and be normal about Wataru & Eichi, as well as telling us what we already know. At the same time, it did provide more insight into their mentalities, at least. Clown, Crown or whatever it was called was really nice also. - Both original main stories which I think every average ansta fan should read regardless of their length, although, the ! one is certainly of it's time. EnBasic: Element, Marionette, Crossroad, Meteor Impact, Checkmate, (Sorry for no Rocket Show! we're gonna read it for my friend's birthday!) Showtime, Dragon Fruit (Note to all viewers: don't read Marionette alone & think you know anything about Ex-valkyrie. PLEASE!), Easter Night, EP:Link, Christmas Live, Starry Night Festival, Beasts, Human Comedy (people focus too much on the valkyrie side of this and ignore rabits and it is disheartening, even if I understand why, from producers of them, given that rabits is far more unpopular in comparison, unrightfully yet understandably so. But what of the rest?), Book Fair, Victoria, Liar's Idol, Rainbow, Eccentric, Pleiades Night, Wonder Game, Biblio, Blood Banquet, Butler Cafe, Shinsengumi, Bouquet of Desire, Devils, Horror Night Halloween, School Festival ☆ Tamayori's Haunted Dollhouse, uum... those are the only ones that come to mind. I've read about 2wink and ryuseitai but scatteredly. In another universe, I produce them. EnMusic: Date Plan, Motor Show, Tempest, Night Club, Conquest, Next Door, Hot Limit, Neverland, Feather Touch, Bogie Time, Merry Xmas, Antique Legend, Burning Azaleas, Shinsekai, Obbligato, Astraea's Atelier, Romantic ? Date, Myriad of Colors and Flowers, Shards of Time: Black, Cruise, Grand Slam (I know it sounds crazy. The shotabait foot fetish event. Yes. But it has so many fucking good parts, and the epilogues are some of my favourite things ever.), Portrait, Nighthead, Stormcloud FUMBLE, Poltergeist, Parallel World, Xday (best climax), Absolute (I'm reading it with my dearest friends & I like it a lot so far! But I haven't finished so I won't embolden it. Mixed feelings about Raison d'être but generally it's so good I really love it. ALTERED CHANGED MY LIFE & KILLED MY GRANDMA. Bite-sized mix of both: -Aira: Episode 1 (Idol story), Do The Norm ft. Midori & Chiaki (I love you Midori! I love Noritama), -Tsumugi: This Senior is Prone to Worrying, Switch's introduction: "episode one", (Tsumugi FS1) Blue Hour's Spinning Song, Tsumugi's FS1 4☆ Story which recently came out on Eng, the eating one, "Delicious Happiness" ft. Midori, Episode 1, 2 & 3 of his idol stories, Go Basking in The Sun 3☆ story ft. Rei & Ritsu. -Others: HiMERU stuff. Episode 1 Chiaki Idol Story, Hiiro Idol story 2 ft. Aira, Black Swan ft. Mika & Tsumugi. (Madara FS2) Fates and Feast, Natsume FS2 4☆ Story. The 3☆ where ex-fine play together, Rinne's FS1. MANY Yuuta idol stories & 4/3☆ stories, especially in relation to his growth & Rinne. I like a lot of Anzu's monologues in the novels. I love this Natsuhokke 3☆ story. I like the early idol stories in general honestly. Baah!

Fun fact, I watched the anime before reading anything. My first story after the main story was Easter Night :-) though already interested in them, it cemented my love for switchvalk & their parallels in a square or even a more convoluted shape, each pointing at each other. I really recommend people read 3 stars of their favourites, you can find them with ease if you look them up, especially if they're from popular units. There's a lot of Really Good stories I haven't read but know all the context to and just have to get to, and good stories I have read that I just haven't mentioned whether purposefully because I don't think about them that much or because they slipped out of my mind (or blended together, or I technically didn't read them and just know everything that occurs or read a livetweet thread and I don't want to say a story is my favourite when I haven't read it in full even if stuff I really love comes from it, or I have mixed feelings that are too mixed for it to be a favourite).

I really adore Ansta's writing in spite of all of it's flaws, that's why it's not easy for me to give a simple response. Thank you for the question, sweet thing!

[thesherrinfordfacility]

Hi! Good *insert time of day*! You seem to have a bit of a different take than most of the rest of the fandom on the final fifteen, particularly the mistakes that Crowley made leading up to it, so I was wondering what your take was on the mistakes Aziraphale made in the lead up? I guess I'm curious whether your reading differs there as well because I have trouble finding theories that don't either pin everything on a single trauma-driven decision or say that their whole relationship was dysfunctional or absolve him entirely via a plot twist and none of those feel correct to me somehow.

hi anon!!!✨ oh of course, there are so many things that aziraphale does ultimately fuck up a great deal on!

now, actually, would be a great time to actually address the bit of the most recent LWA that i felt would be too out of place to address in that response (LWA if you're reading this, which tbh im assuming you are, consider this in part a response to you too) - the way that aziraphale has replaced heaven with crowley.

now look, i do not think that this necessarily means that aziraphale sees crowley as a replacement for heaven - and what i mean by that is that i don't think he sees, or wants, him to be a carbon copy. aziraphale knows crowley is not heaven, and vice versa. i also think that aziraphale is aware of the fact that heaven as the system it currently is, and the archangels that run and operate within it, behave in a way that he can no longer run with.

when heaven refuses to back down from the apocalypse, and will wipe out humanity - you know, the humanity that he not only loves because of the things they have created and he hedonistically enjoys, but also because he literally does it out of kindness and duty (flaming sword being case in point) - this is possibly where aziraphale runs into his moment of "going along with heaven as far as he can". crowley even admits that aziraphale and heaven are no longer on speaking terms in the lapsed four years, and we have no reason at all to doubt this. so for me, when he accepts going back, it's done out of taking the opportunity to change the very things that he could no longer go along with. but i digress-

aziraphale substituting heaven for crowley does not say to me that he misses heaven, not really, but i think he is, in some ways, lost. we start off his introduction into s2's plot with him chilling with some shostakovich; so by large, he seems rather content with how his life is panning out in his retirement. but four years is an incredibly short amount of time to completely break the habit of having a job, a duty, a calling, that you've had for 6000.

i think aziraphale misses that he can tell someone about his work, about doing good deeds, and having someone to recognise him, even praise him, for it. and heaven did seem to praise him with his work on the antichrist, even if we as the audience see it as condescension, and wholly false or hollow (and on some subconscious level, i think aziraphale knew this too. being talked down to by the archangels is not news for him by this point (job)):

heaven represented an ideal for him, as well as being the closest he had to belonging. he may love humans, and in time come to love crowley, but i don't think he ever necessarily felt he belonged with them, that there was still something missing, and this is absolutely a reflection on aziraphale himself. the issue is that he never belonged in heaven, either - even less so, frankly - but he still yearned to do a good job, be a good angel (something that, after everything, i think he still considers to be important), and be accepted as a result.

but where i come to addressing what you're actually asking me, anon - about where aziraphale makes his own mistakes - is that when he loses heaven, he tries to fill this void, taking his buried feelings of inadequacy and ostracism (if his reaction to shax's goading in ep6 is anything to go by), by displacing everything onto crowley, and it reaches a point of dependency that is not fair on crowley to fulfil or give.

aziraphale is supported (enabled? arguably) in his hedonistic tendencies by crowley, encouraged to enjoy food and wine in particular (and as an example). shax points this out as being a key insecurity of aziraphale's, suggesting that he is otherwise self-conscious, even ashamed, of it to some degree, and i think we could extrapolate this to say that he entirely depends on crowley's encouragement to justify it to himself. even in the sushi restaurant, at beginning of s1, he seems to anticipate and be comforted that it could crowley joining him.

going back to the previous point of displacement, if we take the fact that aziraphale then also calls crowley essentially for praise, we can infer that he regularly needs his input to re-establish his self worth, exhibiting in reassurance-seeking behaviours. he also seems to display this kind of behaviour when telling crowley about the record in ep2, but moreso in ep3 when he revisits gabriel's statue.

don't get me wrong, this could just be aziraphale being excited to share his findings, but the almost erratic way in which he does, feels like he needs his praise before he can feel like he's 'done a good job', needs his approval before he can feel good about himself. this coping mechanism of aziraphale's only proves to worsen this level of dependency he has on crowley. crowley may well be happy to give it, which is crowley's own issue, but in the context of the final fifteen it puts an emotional load on crowley who not only has to deal with his own subjective heartbreak, but probably bear the weight of aziraphale's too.

and lastly, whilst i still maintain that this is more prevalent in s1 when he still puts firm stock in heaven, aziraphale does have a sense of superiority over crowley in his being an angel, compared to crowley being a demon. aziraphale is ultimately stating a point as he sees it - that he is in fact holier-than-thou, "that's the whole point" - but fails to recognise that that doesn't make him a better person by rule. it doesn't help that crowley's more... questionable actions... do nothing to dissuade aziraphale of this, but nonetheless aziraphale still sees what is essentially a class difference. by s2, i do think that this thinking wanes in him slightly*, and that he does begin to accept that he loves crowley as a person (including him being a demon), but that is going to leave a lasting scar on how crowley himself will think aziraphale sees him, and in turn potentially how he sees himself (i will be clear, this relationship is not one-sided in its dependency).

*when aziraphale remarks on "you're the bad guys", i don't think from aziraphale's perspective this was ever a criticism on crowley. after all, crowley is a demon, demons are of hell, and hell is the Bad Place - it's a statement of fact, not a judgement - and he even says categorically "well, of course you said 'no' to hell" (ie. literally, 'you're one of them, but not one of them' - echoing crowley's own words of them both being "better than that"). but he doesn't consider how this must come across, given his history of placing himself as crowley's moral and literal superior; he might not mean it that way now, but that is what crowley is going to hear.

all of this is cyclical, and all link intrinsically together in aziraphale to form an unhealthy dependency on crowley, as i said. this is an issue, and is not at all fair on crowley, because of the way we can infer how this could make crowley feel in kind; as a case in point, when he recounts aziraphale's reasons for contacting him, they're all termed like aziraphale never wants to speak to him just for him, as opposed to needing to get something out of it to reinstate his own person feeling of self-worth, and nothing that gives crowley the same feeling back.

it also feeds into the delusion that aziraphale has; that crowley is a completely good person, especially when crowley has repeatedly stated that he is in fact not that at all, but a little bit of both (with arguably the bad outweighing the good, at times - see crowley's line about 'dark grey' in ep4). he essentially places crowley on such a high pedestal that, to continue to metaphor, crowley cant move or wiggle upon without fear of falling off. whilst aziraphale may no longer have any allegiance to heaven as the institution, he still holds fast that it was always intended, always meant to be, the side of good. ergo, crowley belongs there - and leading directly to him even entertaining that crowley would want to be restored. in his eyes, he acts like an angel, so why not be restored as one? why wouldnt he want that?

and this all neatly leads into the fact that aziraphale doesn't listen to crowley; ive said in a post Somewhere that whilst i do think that i understand aziraphale has good intentions behind it, he does nonetheless overstep boundaries that crowley is clearly uncomfortable with, and aziraphale either disregards, or just plainly ignores, are there. crowley doesn't help himself with lying to aziraphale (about the gun, or about him living out of the bentley), but regardless aziraphale can obviously see crowley's hesitation with the bullet catch, can see that crowley expresses discomfort with sharing the bentley, and aziraphale pushes him anyway. this all culminates in that aziraphale gets too caught up in the ball - and his Plan - to recognise crowley's genuine panic about the demons lurking around outside.

he even goes as far as to lie to crowley, by omission. he lies about the antichrist in s1, and arguably for good reason (ie. in an attempt to safeguard the child - bear in mind he lies to heaven about it too), he still lies. it shows a lack of trust, which if you consider 1941 happening canonically before this, is worrying; crowley does ultimately go on to pressure aziraphale into shooting adam, but it's a conversation that aziraphale should have addressed more thoroughly with crowley. in this instance he was right not to trust him with the antichrist's location, but not right to not discuss more thoroughly with crowley that the antichrist shall not be harmed, and instead they need to find a new-new plan.

he also lies about shax appearing in the bentley, and fails to prepare crowley ahead of time for gabriel being in the bookshop. instead, in the latter, he tries to find a way to make crowley calm down (with bloody eccles cakes, jesus wept...), instead of just being upfront with him. he tries to bluff his way out of changing the bentley, and puppy-dog-eyes (as he knows works in much the same way that crowley's temptations tend to work on him) his way out of it. this may seem innocuous, but as i note in the next paragraph, it shows that he has a tendency to listen to crowley, but not actually hear him.

and okay - all of these, on aziraphale's part, may be rooted in love, but he doesnt stop for breath, doesn't stop to see and to hear him. in this respect, i can't disagree that it creates an environment where crowley may not feel able to communicate with aziraphale (albeit crowley isn't blameless in this either), and makes it all the more difficult for crowley to be able to express himself to him. this even happens blatantly in the final fifteen; he doesn't listen to crowley's panic, his tone, when he starts off nervously trying to confess to aziraphale, and aziraphale can't help himself but to butt in and interrupt. i don't think it's a sense necessarily of entitlement, but that aziraphale isn't reading crowley, and so thinks that his 'good news' is something that crowley will agree is more important that what crowley was going to say. they do, unfortunately, know each other shockingly little in some fairly major ways.

these are two characters that are manifestly impossible to analyse accurately and fairly without looking at the other. they feed into each other's bad parts and behaviours just as much as they do the good - and it keeps spinning and spinning like a water wheel. you can't truly unpick one without the other, and by large all of their actions are equally understandable as they are condemnable. i do feel, i'll be frank, that crowley's actions in the lead-up to the final fifteen are arguably more damning than aziraphale's - and the fandom in general terms seems to be blind to considering them, at times - but that doesn't mean that aziraphale is blameless, because he absolutely isn't!✨

[fragmentating]

I dont think I've seen many discussions of this project or the similar ones this author discusses in other articles on here yet, which really is a shame and I reccomend everyone read it especially if you, like me, sometimes struggle with being asked "so what are alternative ways of treating people in crisis"

Under the cut is some very personal ramblings about how I stumbled over this article and how it felt reading it for the first time in a fairly vulnerable state. Tw for abuse mentions, drugs, your fairly normal mad life shit. This is the most personal writing I have ever created on this overall topic, so I would really appreciate if any of you would give it your time of day, thanks..!

As an introduction I have to begin with this: I recently quit being a consumer. I was always a survivor, but I clung to anti psychotics for a couple years of adulthood because it felt preferable to the insomnia I'd find myself with without, and a nice little blanket of nothingness in the saved pills in those extra stressful moments. Whenever I'd quit, I'd come back sometime later again. Last time it was being desperate to quit getting excessively drunk every night. And the closed psych ward I checked myself into, because I genuinely was not capable of controlling my drinking at home in any way at all, starting me on seroquel once again. Neither helped me achieve sobriety long term (not really surprising to myself, but not the point of this, honestly). Rather I kept risking my health even more by consuming both on many nights after being back home. But the warnings sort of stop feeling real too. I mean, I've done this a few hundred times for sure by now. What really pushed me over the edge, was my tardive dyskenesia (tics) worsening and worsening, even after switching to another anti psychotic hoping itd stop the progression getting back on seroquel was causing. Sometimes they're painful. That's the worst. I was originally planning on trying another pill my friend had reccomended who was currently staying in rehab, hearing me lament my lack of sleep without this medication I didn't want anymore. he gave me the email address of the psych giving it to him that I could access through the outpatient services at the clinic for addiction by using the right keywords. It would've been easy.

But I never wrote that mail. Instead, after getting my last refill of Perazine, from that asshole psych who also misgendered me so aggressively and consequently, didnt matter that I legitimately already had changed my gender marker a year earlier... that refill was supposed to last me the next 3 months, and I halfheartedly tapered it off for 2 or 3 weeks. The thought of seeing his face again made me sick. This was now nearly exactly a month ago. I have felt no desire to write that email.

I didnt experience any of the common withdrawal symptoms I heard so much about, only after quitting completely, there was a very short bout of very confusing feelings, sensations, beliefs. The usual. I've been there, medicated or not. I made it through without reaching for a pill again. 3 days, max, then it was over. But suddenly I stopped sleeping, for up to 50 hours at a time. After about a week of that, I finally found someone online say insomnia can be a withdrawal symptom of quitting anti psychotics. I genuinely never heard of that before ? (But to be fair, maybe at some point I did, and the perazin and seroquel and others just made it drip off my longterm memory like teflon.) Either way, could it have been that every time I went running back for (sometimes way less bad) insomnia after quitting, it was actually fucking withdrawals? I thought I could probably keep this up for a few months until starting my new / first job. Unemployed people have an easier time staying up 50 hours at a time because we can simply collapse into bed at 9am after those and sleep all day. By now I'm mostly down to 30 hours at a time. Theres issues still, sure, but the quick progress is making me excited. I might never sleep perfectly normal, but at this point, I'd take that any day over daily substances.

What happened exactly, aside from the insomnia? I ran out of my weed a couple weeks earlier. Lost my hookup at the same time, so I decided, you know what, let me just not get something for a while, I'm not in the mood to look for something new rn. I was still drinking weekly with friends, but then they got sick for a while, and I only got drunk by myself once or twice that entire time. and somehow realized it wasnt actually my favorite alone-time substance anymore, that was weed. But I didn't have weed. So I just tried. And tried. And it mostly worked out. I stopped thinking about it. Had a small run in with cough syrup we dont talk about. And then I quit the perazine. I was terrified. This was the thing keeping all the other cravings at bay, right? It didnt make sense. I hadn't been "unmedicated" for more than a few weeks since the last 8 years. If I was out of pills, I'd turn to weed or alcohol or both. But nothing really happened this time. Because I stopped running from my feelings.

Slowly I started noticing it. There were so many things I was suddenly reacting to emotionally. Joy, pain, grief, connection, ... I never thought of myself as particularly numb before, but in comparison? It's hard to describe. It felt like every day further into getting off the perazine I felt more like myself. But how did I know it was me? It was someone I had never met before. I hadn't met adult me, ever. All I knew was abused kid me, abused teen me. It was me because now I felt alive in every little thing. Suddenly insomnia feels a lot less awful when you're having it by yourself, someone so novel but comforting. But with good emotions come bad. Suddenly I was crying curled up in a ball about memories from my most traumatic first institutionalization as a teen that I used to talk about like it was a fun little anecdote. There I felt it. "Go take one of your pills. 100m should probably be enough, maybe 150?" I wish I could say I did something super healthy. But I went for a cigarette cause I was really craving one, the breakdown had sort of delayed my usual midnight smoke. That turned into looking at the stars with music on my headphones for a bit. Back in bed I actually had forgotten about the pills again. Instead I opened up Google and typed in "psych abuse survivor". I was looking for something akin to a forum, I believe. But Nothing, really. A few term definitions on Wikipedia. Im no stranger to this internet search. And internet searches about anti psychiatry, anti psychotics, drug interactions, the name of the place I was institutionalized at. Every couple months I check if someone finally burned it down. And About to give up I saw the link to this article. And I opened it. Newly me, newly free to feel, really feel.

It was intriguing at first. I teared up a little a few times. Nothing major or surprising for my newfound emotional range. Then I got to the part where he talks about holding people, after they were allowed to freely let out their pent up rage, anger, manic energy, whatever it was, just let it out, all out. And theyd slowly come out of the (UNLOCKED) room (THAT THEY WERE ALLOWED TO LEAVE AT ANY POINT) after a few hours, and they would be hugged. And often they would start crying. Sometimes violently. And they would hold them lovingly, sometimes multiple of them, until the persons sobs trailed off into sniffles, into nothing. As I finished the sentence it broke out of me in a same way. Theres silent tears running down my cheeks writing this right now. But last night ? I was wailing. Sounds I had not heard from myself, ever. Not the night my grandmother passed. Not the nights I recalled sexual abuse, recalled my violent father, recalled my peers universally rejecting me for the freak I was, as I laid in my basement next to baggies of weed and xtc, as i sat in the bathroom watching blood go down the drain.

Suddenly it wasn't just the abuse in the ward that hurt. The memories of seeing tiny harm- and powerless kids strapped down and tied up, older boys injected and carried off, alarms blaring, keys turning in locks, a haze of benzos that made everything blur together, being watched as you shower, watched as you sleep. Dragged out of your room screaming. What hurt me so much I was wailing like never before was the love I needed, but never got when I needed it the most. I needed to be held as I cried. I dont think I have been held as I cried since I was 9 years old. I have been gawked at, yelled at, ignored and stepped over as I laid on the floor, walked past in public, threatened, locked up.

But I have not once been held.

[starshipsys]

🛰️an intro post? After all this time? Youbetcha! I’m writing this for the sake of people being able to get to know us better. Our system uses two different tumblr accounts and the alters that use one don’t want to be associated with the others, so this is only a few alters. We’re a DiD system, diagnosed, and interested in making friends! Please don’t involve us in syscourse or any discourse really. We’re not interested in harassment campaigns, mob mentality, or anything like that. We won’t even unfollow someone unless you can give us direct receipts. From you, not a link to some callout post or whatever people do nowadays. If You, yourself, can’t provide us with screenshots of someone saying something unquestionably heinous, in context, don’t bother.

Here’s some info about us! We’re a system of 26. I’m Merlin. Our system name is Starships. The body’s name is Nova. What is the difference between me, the system, and the body? Think of a boat with a crew. I’m the captain, Merlin. The crew is the system, Starships, and each crew member has their own name. The boat is the body, Nova. It has habits and mannerisms that we all adopt when we come into front, but those aren’t really us. None of us are the “main alter” or the body’s “real personality;” all of us are fragments of the child the body used to be, who grew up in different ways. Each alter is like the tip of a tree’s branch. No twig is the “real tree” but we’re all part of it, and if you go back far enough, we were all part of the same trunk.

I’ll introduce our alters now! I’m not going to introduce everyone, because some of them don’t want to be associated with this account. I’m going to write their emoji so that you know who’s who, but I’m writing all the introductions.

🧤Agate, they/them. While none of us like the term “little,” syskid is accepted, but none of us feel entirely like children, we just retained childlike qualities. Agate is one of those alters, they’re the more sensitive and emotional part of our childhood.

🪩Boppie, they/them. Excited and energetic party animal! Just wants to have fun, especially dancing and anything related to music. They like having friends because it means more opportunities for fun.

♠️Coghlan, he/it. He just migrated from the other account to this one because he changed allegiances. He’s cold, steely, and sharp. Usually cuts right to the chase in conversations. He’s also bad at social cues, but he’s caring and protective, despite his hard exterior. Formerly 🖤

🐰Daisy, she/her. Traumatized little creature, super nervous and anxious all the time. Desperate for affection, particularly fond of cuddles and compliments. Also switched to this account recently.

🔭Estella, she/they. Creative and cheerful, friendly catgirl. Likes videogames, especially Minecraft. Wants to learn how to code and program games. We are unfortunately very bad at computers.

🌺Haven, she/he. The hopeless romantic. Craves friendship and love, and is very friendly and warm and welcoming. Loves to shower people with affection. Likes to tell people when we appreciate them.

✏️Indigo, they/them. Creative aspects of our childhood. Has dreams of becoming a novel writer, cartoon artist, and/or animator. Loves to write new stories and create whole new worlds.

🍠Kakxyl, he/any. Basically our system’s father figure. Protective and compassionate towards us, he tends to guide us to do healthy and useful things. Doesn’t usually get involved in things until they get dangerous, though. He recently got transformed and is still figuring himself out.

🫐Lynx, he/they. Silent and protective. Lynx cannot use language to communicate, though he is pretty creative with mixing together pictures, screenshots, and emojis to deliver his message. He usually doesn’t have much to say anyway. He tends to front to take the brunt of an emotional attack on us, so he usually only fronts when something is wrong. If he isn’t frantically trying to tell you something then it’s probably not something you can help.

🛰️Merlin, they/any. I’m Merlin :]. The others describe me as an emotional suppressor. I’m not very introspective and I don’t really know what I want or what I stand for. Mostly I’m just here as a shell, to make us appear to have some semblance of normalcy to others. I front when in-person social interactions are required.

🍥Nyan, they/he/she. The silliness of our childhood! They like being loud, annoying, and hyper. They love candy and high energy music and bright colors. The nyan cat song is basically constantly playing in their head.

🩵Present, she/they/it. Soft, quiet, and delicate. Very shy, but craves companionship. She blames herself for a lot of things that are outside her control and is a bit of a perpetual people-pleaser.

🔥Xray, he/xe (xe/xim/xis, like he/him/his). Omnipotent primordial eldritch deity 1/3. God of destruction. Represented by fire, the sun, death, light, sharp angles, spikes, stone, blades, gore, and metal. Values truth, bravery, closure, curiosity, finality, persistence, and order. Has a composed demeanor and authoritative role in the system.

🌲Yarrow, it/they/yey (yey/yem/yeir, like they/them/their). Omnipotent primordial eldritch deity 2/3. Goddex of transformation. Represented by greenery, clouds, fungi, insects, the moon, mirrors, frost, trees, armor, and mountains. Values empathy, change, introspection, attentiveness, observation, rebellion, and protection. Has a guarded demeanor and informative role in the system.

🌊Zenith, ze/zer (ze/zer/zers, like she/her/hers). Omnipotent primordial eldritch deity 3/3. Goddess of creation. Represented by the ocean, cosmos, feathers, fur, scales, flowers, rainbows, shadows, eggs, and pens. Values humility, kindness, creativity, adventure, exertion, passion, and beauty. Has a loving demeanor and supportive role in the system.

[battlekidx2]

The Ghost and Molly McGee Season 2 Thought So Far

I can’t believe I haven’t talked about The Ghost and Molly McGee yet. I have multiple drafts in my docs and on tumblr but I could never really get my thoughts across as well as I would like but I’ve decided to just put my thoughts out here because I really do enjoy this show.

The ghost and molly mcgee is one of those shows that shocked me with just how much I enjoyed it. I think that’s purely because it doesn’t fall into the tone of show I usually lean towards. I usually gravitate towards shows like Arcane, Invincible, Amphibia, and The Owl House to use recent examples. Shows that are very bittersweet (or in Arcane’s case straight-up tragic) and know how to gut punch you with emotional moments. I feel seen in certain aspects of these shows and the hard truths they portray that many people have experienced but that isn’t what I need all the time and the Ghost and Molly McGee perfectly fits what I need outside of those types of shows.

It’s a show that champions joy and connections and it sees the best in people. In a time that seems to be filled with hate and is hard to experience day to day, this is the type of show I need to unwind and feel a bit more hopeful.

The Ghost and Molly McGee had a phenomenal first season. It was an amazing introduction to the characters, world, and themes of the show that ended on a bang with Molly vs the ghost world. I had a lot of excitement heading into the next season, but was unsure of where the show would go from that explosive finale and I can safely say that the second season is off to a great start. 

I love the introduction of the Chens and how their profession of being ghost hunters comes into conflict with their friendship with the McGees. It's an interesting dynamic that adds a level of tension to Molly and Scratch’s adventures that wasn’t present in season 1. There wasn’t much of a threat of anyone discovering Molly’s friendship with Scratch or exposing their escapades, especially after Libby was brought into the fold, so I really like the decision to add threats on the human side of things.

The Chens themselves have a lot of potential as characters and are already interesting foils to the McGees. Most of them don’t have much development yet and they are very similar to the McGees in terms of personality, but the show has already set up very interesting plotlines for them. 

Ollie in particular has a lot of potential due to his discovery at the end of “I Really Wanna Dance with Some Ollie”. He made the conscious decision to not tell his mother that he discovered that Molly is friends with Scratch which sets up an interesting conflict in his character and it adds depth to his actions and bond with Molly. 

Right now he is a copy of Molly in many ways (as are all of the Chens with the McGees) but it’s only a few episodes into season 2 so there are a lot of opportunities for growth.

I also really like June and love that she’s canonically autistic. The Ghost and Molly McGee is great when it comes to representation. It is very racially diverse and I appreciate that it has background/normalized lbgtq+ characters and is now including main characters that are intentionally and explicitly neurodivergent. Representation matters. I’ve written about why I believe representation is important before so I’ll spare the essay but I believe that people being able to see aspects of themselves not depicted as frequently in media in characters on this show, especially this show’s age demographic, is a good thing.

Another development I really liked is what the show has decided to do with the ghost world, specifically the chairman. The idea that Scratch is forced into a role of authority after the events of the finale is really interesting. There are so many directions they can take this idea and it’s a really good way to force Scratch out of his comfort zone and get him to grow. This also expands on the lore in regards to the ghost world which we still know little about. I look forward to the ways in which this can explore Scratch’s character and give us more insight into the show’s lore.

Scratch gets some very poignant character moments even outside of the chairman development  in these episodes with the best example being “A Soda to Remember”.

“A Soda to Remember” is my favorite episode of the batch that dropped because of how it juxtaposes Scratch’s character and the glimpse of his past with the wacky antics of the episode. There’s a palpable melancholy to the flashback at the end of the episode that works so well considering the overall tone of the show. It builds a lot of emotion and intrigue around it that makes the episode and Scratch’s arc in it hit a lot harder.

Episodes in The Ghost and Molly McGee almost always end on an optimistic note so that final scene strikes a unique emotional cord within the show. This technique was used sparingly in the first season with it only occurring in the episode “Out of House and Home” when the McGees lose their house and when Scratch is taken back to the ghost world in “The Jig is Up”. The show knows when to slow down and allow these emotional moments to sit which is part of why I enjoy it so much.

This actually might be the plotline I am most interested in seeing explored in the future.

Overall I think the second season of The Ghost and Molly McGee is off to a great start!

[general-illyrin]

Tag game: Tour my bookshelf!

@totally-not-one-of-the-fae, thank you for tagging me!

An estimate of how many physical books I own: I just counted, and I have 772 plus two boxes about 2' x 3' x 18" stuffed full that I didn't bother to drag out and count XD (And I'm pretty sure I have other books scattered throughout other boxes that I missed counting.) So I have over 800 books!

Favorite author: I definitely don't have one favorite author, but some of my favorites are J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Murray N. Rothbard, Socrates, Richard J. Maybury, and Chuck Black

A popular book I've never read and never intend to read: Mine is likely also the Harry Potter series, though I may re-read it at some point (if I have nothing else to read or do, which will likely be...never XD)

A popular book I thought was just meh: I don't really pay attention to the popularity of books, so I'm not sure what books I've read are popular, and I also don't remember the names of books that I think are neither good nor bad, so I can't really answer this question.

Longest book I own: Based purely on page number, which varies depending upon the size of the books and page thickness, the longest book I own is The MacArthur Study Bible at 2,247 pages. After comes another Bible and then The Complete Works of Shakespeare.

Longest series I own all the books to: Probably The Chronicles of Narnia

Prettiest book I own: The Barnes and Noble edition of The Prince by Niccoló Machiavelli; it is black, gold, and silver with gilded edges and I find it both beautiful and stately. Actually, here's photos of it:

A book or series I wish more people knew about: Oh, there are so many good ones! If we're sticking to fiction, I would probably say Ranger's Apprentice, The Knights of Arrethtrae, or The Silmarillion (though I'm not sure how well-known those are). They are really good books and series that I enjoy and are on my re-read list, which is carefully curated to only my absolute favorites. If we're discussing non-fiction, I would say Whatever Happened to Justice? by Richard J. Maybury (this is an interesting look at justice and the legal system in non-technical terms), The Amazing Dr. Ransom's Bestiary of Adorable Fallacies by Douglas Wilson & N. D. Wilson (a hilarious and informative book on the different kinds of informal logical fallacies), and Economics in One Lesson by Henry Hazlitt (an informative introduction to economics in non-technical terms).

Book I'm reading now: Most recently, The Silmarillion, though I am currently reading several books.

Book that's been on my TBR list for a while but I still haven't got around to it:

Again, there are so many on this list! However, the one I'm planning to read next is The Lord of the Rings.

Do you have any books in a language other than English: Yes, even though I can't read them...yet! From what I can remember, I own two books in German, two in Spanish, and one in Korean.

And lastly, paperback, hardcover or ebook? I generally prefer hardback because they are sturdier and from what I've seen are usually prettier; however they are also more expensive and heavier, so I only buy hardback books when the book is a favorite of mine and I'm planning on re-reading it.

No-pressure tagging @solarcola, @hirazuki, @dreamingthroughthenoise, @nutmegs-tired, @actual-bill-potts, @eilinelsghost, @erdariel, @backgroundelf, @mersilisk, @none-ofthisnonsense, @thelordofgifs, @invisiblewashboard, @sweetmaggie, @violecov, @quixoticanarchy, @milesasinmorales, @dicksoutformtl, @aureentuluva70, @curiouselleth, @warthoong, and anyone else who wants to join!

[thecurioustale]

(Re)introducing the Author

I have two main series: a fantasy series called The Curious Tale and a sci-fi series called Galaxy Federal.

For those who are newer here, or wouldn't mind a refresher, here's a little about me and the kind of stories I write:

My name is Josh, pronouns they/he. (I am agender but I don't get upset if you gender me masculine; I do it myself sometimes out of force of habit.) I am 41 years old and live in Washington State not far from Seattle, in the beautiful but troubled United States. I am left-handed, hence my proudest epithet, The Sinistral, and I have been a writer for basically my entire life—even as a kid!

I published my first and so far only novel in 2015, Prelude to After The Hero, which you can currently buy as an e-book or read for free in HTML. Additionally, I have published countless worldbuilding articles and meta-discussions of my fiction over the years (see my previous post about Curious Tale Saturdays), and countless nonfiction essays and personal musings on my personal journal, which in more recent years I have updated much less frequently (but am still active on).

As an author I mostly write stories about "power" and "beauty." I'll have more to say about my specific stories over the next couple days when I do corresponding (re)introduction posts for The Curious Tale and Galaxy Federal, but the bottom line is that I am very interested in human potential, both at the individual and collective levels, and in the beauty of being alive and experiencing "the world," i.e. our material reality and our own headspaces within it. Other topics that interest me and frequently show up in my writing include justice, creation (both the acts and products of creating), civilization, Illumination (what many would call wisdom or "enlightenment"), ambition and desire, animism, and the poignance of the fleeting nature of all things.

I am fascinated by liminality and subliminality; boundaries; vast indoor spaces; megastructures; mysteriousness; "the magical"; surrealism; absurdism; nostalgia; pathos; journeys that do not involve backtracking; and other such things as generally might describe a vast world with hazy horizons lit in twilight. I also strive in my writing (less successfully, I fear) to convey a sense of mystery and wonder.

At the same time, I am also fascinated by human emotionality and subjective experience; personal relationships; the human condition and the human psyche; and narrative life arcs. Some who know me through my nonfiction or by talking to me in person have been surprised to see how passionate and emotional my fiction is.

My writing style tends to be long-winded and self-indulgent; deliberate and precise; esoteric and bespoke. I usually set a slow pace, and seldom indeed will I resort to cheap action or thrills. Most of my fiction is either long-form play-by-play scenes in high resolution, or Tolkienian epic narration far removed from the ground level.

With certain exceptions for key locations, I usually don't reuse a given location in a story; the locations are usually new from scene to scene, and thus there is a lot of environmental description throughout the whole length of my works and not just at the beginning. This creates a certain quality, where everything is always new, that I find engrossing.

In terms of the three most popular conventions, political intrigue, violence, and sex and romance: My writing mostly rejects the treacherous political intrigue genre conventions that are so prevalent in sci-fi and fantasy today, even though "politics" is definitely an integral part of my writing (and I am not shy about sharing my opinions, though I try to do so through specific characters rather than on narratorial authority). When it comes to violence, there is a lot of death and killing and suffering in my work, but I am not a big fan of writing extremely graphic violence and torture, mainly because I don't have the heart to dwell on it in great detail most of the time. (It's very draining for me.) And on the sex side of things, I eschew tacked-on romantic subplots and in general I would say that there's too much damned snogging in our contemporary storytelling, but I definitely do explore and depict matters of love and sex in my work in my own way—though not at a very high frequency, and, I would like to hope, never gratuitously. (Unless the gratuitousness is a tongue-in-cheek joke that we're all in on—which can be said of many other aspects of my writing as well.) I never write explicit, graphic sex scenes, although I do sometimes write sex scenes.

Which reminds me: My stories tend to have a lot of "competency porn" in them; my characters are usually intelligent, thoughtful, and logical. Ignorance and luck are not big plot story drivers for me, generally.

My favored characters tend to be some combination of fat, left-handed, and female; and, of them, my central protagonists additionally tend to be extremely powerful, demigodlike individuals who are able to operate within their respective domains virtually without limitation. In critical respects my characters are only vaguely-defined; I usually avoid character archetype trope reinforcement, so my characters are ideally as internally diverse as real-world humans are...which means you can't actually know them right away. And that opens the door for you to project your own personality ideas onto them. Which...I suppose is a feature?

I have a cinematic mind, and I think my stories are best appreciated with a strong visual imagination. I try not to smother readers with too many unnecessary details, though I confess I am only partially successful at this and often find myself hanging on every word of my lengthy environmental descriptions. I think some of my most satisfied readers are those who enjoy digesting these elaborate visuals as a reward unto itself.

I am a big believer in the idea that obvious story setups should have payoffs, that narrative arcs should eventually be resolved, and that plots and subplots should be be highly interconnected. I am chiefly theme-driven in my writing, as opposed to character-driven or plot-driven, and oftentimes the central purpose of a given scene will be to express one particular idea (or more than one)—either a conceptual idea, or a specific moment in the story. If you read the Prelude and remember Silence's introduction, I wrote that entire scene just to be able to describe the image of Silence in silhouette standing against the evening sky, and her powerful, predator-like movement as she turns around.

Add it all up, and my stories are definitely out of the norm for today's fashions and quite possibly for any fashion in history. They are slow and heavy and long. Their vastness belies their thrilling internal intricacies and shapes. The characters are highly realistic. The plots tend to feel emergent and organic. Or at least I think so. I am very much "writing the stories I want to see."

My stories tend to be incredibly long. Like...just know that going in. There are many sources for "tight," "fast" writing in the world. I am not one of them.

Oh, one more thing: There are various types of representation that are important to me and which I don't see the current state of sci-fi and fantasy storytelling doing a good job of delivering, so I explicitly lean into that, on top of my natural proclivity to write these kinds of characters anyway. So, if you're ever reading a scene and you find that the demographics of the people in it are noticeably unusual for contemporary American fiction, that's why.

More about me as a person: When not writing, I am a fan of sunsets, sunrises, and twilight; clouds and water; saying "Merciful McGillicuddy!" a lot while sighing loudly; solving Wordle; trying mostly in vain to gain weight; and being a curious information sponge.