#and culture. truly makes me want to cry

[minglana]

i think that if the general aragonese population found out about the etymology of baturro (bato aka 'stupid' + urro which is a derogative suffix) they would try to explain it away with "well, we've reclaimed it now". but reclamation can only happen if you actually know the meaning of the word and how its used against you. or they would say that no one cares about the original meaning of the word anymore. because thats how much aragonese people (especially zaragozanos) hate ourselves

[livurlifesworld]

what are they thinking about you + when will you align in each other’s lives and meet? +18

✮ INTUITIVE READING ✮

PILE 1: this person can have a brown skin tone or be of a different cultural descent than you. I don’t know why I heard the greys anatomy meme “pick me, choose me, love me” one of you may be feeling this way towards eachother hinting at some disclosed feelings not yet being shown. Some type of explosive passionate feeling of wanting to let everything out. They want to prove to you they want you. Make love to you, touch you, make you feel the way they’ve been feeling. Holding back. Letting it all out is what I’m hearing. Such a playful energy. Someone may be ticklish. I see being out in a field and having a picnic or a significant moment together. Sharing a moment alone is significant for you two. You need time to let everything out to eachother and listen and cry and feel everything out is truly what I’m getting. Time of alignment between you both may be 3 years from now. I see this because someone or you both may meet when someone moves somewhere. You’re completely enthralled in peace with eachother when you meet. Laughter and love are so significant between y’all it’s like a dream is what I’m seeing. You both are gonna build such a beautiful story together, you act goofy with one another someone may like to dance for real and let loose.

significance: the moon, traveling, and time.

Songs that resonated:

she wants to move - by n.e.r.d and back on 74 by Jungle

PILE 2:

the tension is deep between y’all. When I mean THICK I mean absolutely THICK tension. There’s something significant with lips here and wanting to be able to touch them and feeling fingers against your face. Gazing into your eyes and a lot of physical touch. Could be their best way of showing their love to you. They want you to know they respect you, everything about but they sincerely and severely want you. To cradle you in their arms and to hold l you near and dear to their chest. Caress you and to make you feel seen. One of you may have a hard time speaking up and making your feelings feel heard but they can hear you from a mile away. If you need them they’re there. So so so reliable I’m telling you all. This person may have a more dominant or strong appearance to them. I see their face being more built, masculine, and structured in a sense. They’re beautiful even though they may not see themselves this way. They truly want and love you. May have longer hair that fits their face. It’s fluffy. Alignment may be 2 months or years. Between this time you may be ready to meet and align with each other’s lives. A lot of yearning between this pile, somebody’s gonna break it soon 👀

Significance: purple could be lightening of them room y’all are in (reference album cover of song, that type of purple), age gap, true love

Song that resonated: too deep - by dvsn

PILE 3:

This person has a boisterous laugh and they like to talk. When I mean talk I mean big talk. They seem like a big steppa like come off as a player for real. They may have been at some point but they seriously don’t give a fuck about that once they meet you. You look so fucking good but outside of that you’re making conversation with this person. You sincerely actually speak to them like a human being is what I’m getting. You’re not there for their money or looks. They know how to dress, they have luxuries and live what may appear like a good life but they’re lost. They need you. They need someone to help guide them away from ego, humble them even. They know it too but they’re drawn to what people around them influence them in. A follower even. They’re gonna get out of that as soon as you two have a conversation. This is a spontaneous meeting and conversation. Feels like you two may bump paths or have seen eachother before from somewhere but you can’t put your finger on it. Deja vu for real. You both have a deep and sincere attraction to eachother. You’re very magnetic especially your eyes they draw people in. This person really wants you to forgive them for their mistakes. They feel like a fuck up a lot of the time because they don’t know what they’re doing. They need guidance and self love. Support is big between you both. You may be friends and then become something more. May know eachother from work even. Meeting at a social event or club. Feels like somewhere that may be exciting but you both are so caught up in eachother you eventually leave and don’t care. Be patient with them if you choose to pursue them but hold them accountable. The number 5 is significant here I’m not sure if spirit doesn’t want me to let you know exactly when but 5 months, 5th day, or years. A person is associated with the number 5 though could be family member, sport related, birthday.

Significance: loyalty, support, patience, settle down, marriage, empire. If you’ve heard the phrase recently: “play me like a violin” that may be significant for you.

songs that resonate: girls around the world by Lloyd and confessions pt II by usher

[captainsparklefingers]

One of the things I'm taking away from the second go round of Dracula Daily (and particularly from David Ault's excellent performance in Re: Dracula) is how much I like Lord Arthur Godalming.

Like. On the surface and the first time round he stands out the least of Lucy's suitors, and given how much time we hear from Jack, he can come off the most developed. Quincy, of course, gives us a heck of a lot of personality with relatively little (again, compared to how much we get from Jack). Arthur, though, doesn't have the same volume of words to develop, nor the instantly clear personality. He's just Lucy's fiancee, Jack and Quincy's friend, the heroes of light's wealthy benefactor.

But God, this poor man. He's suffered several immense losses in a very short period, been forced to see the woman he loved as a monster, and then had to put her down so she could rest in peace. Beyond the emotional burdens of such losses, he has to deal with the legal matters and the settling of affairs for three different people, probably doing whatever one needs to do to take his father's place in the House of Lords (something I know absolutely nothing about but I assume there's things to do there), AND the earth shattering revelation the supernatural is real, monsters do exist, and the one who killed Lucy is still out there.

And all of that while having to abide by the Victorian standards of manhood. Stalwart, strong, showing no emotions that could make him seem weak.

I think the scene in September 30th, where Mina comforts him and finally he has the chance to let go of all of these burdens he's felt he must carry alone, all of the grief and sorrow he's been forced to carry, he can for at least a moment put aside the mask of manliness society insist he wear and just let himself be a man who has lost his father and his fiancee within days of each other, who is dealing with situations beyond belief.

Obviously we've seen him cry and grieve before but it always felt like he was stifling it to a degree because, well. He only has his male friends to lean on now and the stupid proprieties of society mean he can only lean so much. But now he's had a chance to finally let go, made a connection with Lucy's dearest friend and a new sister of choice. He has his friends, he's finally been allowed to mourn in the way he's truly feeling...and now he's ready to help in whatever way possible to avenge Lucy.

Arthur comes off to me as a very strong character, a man driven by great love, who's emotions, as constrained as they may be, are one of his greatest strengths (and, of course, every good monster hunting group needs a financial benefactor). He's not a flat character at all, he's not forgettable character. Lucy loved him for a reason and, I think, in the moment his grief finally breaks, we get a glimpse at that.

I think that one of the good things of Dracula Daily has been making people realize how good of a character Jonathan Harker is, how pop culture has done damage to the true character of Lucy and Mina…I think we should add that its done a good job of making one care for a character as Arthur, who at first glance seems flat and boring.

Or at least it's made me appreciate him more. And I still want to know how he and Jack and Quincy became friends and what sort of shenanigans they got up to before the events of the book.

[nonegenderleftpain]

To all the new, young MCR fans out there who are just finding them during this tour - you will never know what it was like to be a fan back before and during the hiatus.

And that's a good thing.

I have been following My Chemical Romance since I was ten years old. MCR was the band that the freaks liked. The band that young queer kids were called fags and dykes for liking. Someone once called them the "poster child for suicidal depression," and they aren't wrong. We watched the band struggle with drugs and drinking and idolized how much they were able to do while blackout on tour, because if they could do something so powerful at such a disadvantage, then maybe we could, too. We watched the popularization of "guyliner," because having a term for men wearing makeup could make it an ironic fashion statement instead of a deliberate choice that would get you left bloody and unconscious on the floor of a gas station bathroom. We watched these guys destroy themselves, and we saw ourselves in them because we were destroyed, too. We wanted to believe that we could be just as important, no matter how broken we were, and we found shared experiences at concerts and cafeterias and skate parks and libraries, with other fucked up kids that wanted to listen to the guys that didn't care if people called them gay. The guys that made out on stage to the jeers of thousands of people and got bottles of piss thrown at them but kept doing it anyway. The guys that played with gender and sexuality and everything on the fringes of acceptability, in their lyrics and their performance and the way they treated each other.

This was important. It was life-saving. It provided a comparatively safe space in an unsafe cultural environment for the freaks to find comfort in. It was also hugely and dangerously unhealthy.

I've talked at length to my friends about how healing and lifechanging this tour has been for me, and I want to illuminate that for these young fans that are falling in love with MCR like I did when I was their age. When we were kids, most of our heroes were already dead. They died young, had tragic lives, and we saw ourselves in them. I fully believed MCR would end up the same way. It would have been so easy to be martyrs - to die young and beautiful. Gerard said it himself, back in the day, that MCR was destined to die young in a car crash and stay beautiful forever, and I think he truly believed that.

So they broke up. And, like a miracle, things started to change. They got clean. Got married. Had kids. Not just Gee, but the lot of them. They aged out of the 27 club, and then out of their 30s, and they only seemed to continue to thrive. Today, in 2022, Gerard Way is 45 years old. He has wrinkles. He has a daughter who is older now than I was when she was born. And they are touring again.

The cultural change from when I was a teenager to now, when you guys are, is monumental. It's insane. It's fantastic. Back in the day, Gerard made some occasional comments about playing with gender presentation (that all us trans people, including those of us that didn't even know yet, hunted down and cherished and kept in our chests for safekeeping), but the idea of doing something so flagrant as headlining Riot Fest in a dress was ludicrous. It would have gotten him booed (still did, even now). It could have gotten him killed. The fact that Gerard Way has stepped on stage three separate times this tour in a dress (so far! it's not over!) is such an incredible, monumental change from when I was a kid and I am so, so happy for you to be experiencing it as kids.

I had a cry about this at a P!ATD concert in 2018, after seeing preteens running down the halls in pride flags, and I feel even more strongly about it now than I did then. That you're able to talk openly about Gerard's gender performance without fear, that you're able to hear them go by he/they pronouns, that you're able to interact with other young fans in the wake of MCR's revival in a safe environment and take in the messages that are at the core of what they stand for? These are beautiful fucking things.

You can't know what it was like, growing up with MCR back in the day. But you get to know what it's like to grow up with them now. Cherish that. In Detroit, Gerard told us to take our meds, and reminded us that we made it. They made it. They fought through the hard parts, fought the demons, and came out the other side better for it. As you watch them put those demons to rest from concert to concert, know that there are older fans cheering you on, so fucking happy to see you sharing this experience with us, and so excited to see what way this changes you. We know it changed us.

[euaphoric]

lust.

✩‧₊˚ pairing — jungkook x f!reader, strangers to ??? (wtv they got going on in this dynamic)

✩‧₊˚ warnings — i was planning to make this way happier but i was in a sad mood so im sorry if it’s a little angsty? some fluff ig, sm*t, mentions of alcohol & smoking (cigs), dom!jk & sub!reader, hookup culture, slight corruption? oc cries a lot, spanking, ch*king, just a lot of freeky stuff, koo is a little mean in this oops

words: 3.2k // literally the longest thing i’ve wrote so far. also irdk what this is but i just kept going and couldn’t stop, kinda feels rushed toward the end cause i just wanted to get to the freaky parts sfsfjgs i’m sawry y’all

it happened 2 years ago, yet the memories of that fateful day still carry on with you as if it were yesterday. vibrant recollections of those slender, jewelled hands clasped around your neck as you cry out for him, body subconsciously submitting to all of him - breaking every barrier you’ve built up within. of all your years of existence, that night was the only time you’ve felt truly alive, shedding every ounce of innocence away in one night for a man whose name you didn’t even know.

do you regret losing your virginity to someone who only saw you as a temporary plaything? partly yes and partly no. you were conflicted on the fact you never exchanged info after he left but other than that, nothing regrettable came out of it. the only issue was that he’s set your standards far into oblivion, you’ve yet to find a lay as memorable as he was. it’s not as though you haven’t tried getting over it in the past - you’ve been desperately wishing to forget. suppressing your inner desires with all kinds of self pleasure methods; even going so far as to banging other hot strangers you meet from the bars/club - but even then, you couldn’t replicate how you felt with him and you still couldn’t reach your climax without thinking of your first time.

you catch yourself daydreaming of him daily. the raspy tone of his voice, the intoxicating scent of expensive cologne, the fluorescent, animated ink that adorned his arm along with a silver pierced lip and eyebrow, his sublime sense of style. everything you could’ve ever wanted, slipped away from your grasp forever. that was, until you were met face to face with him again - a total of 882 days later (yes you did the math). you went bar hopping downtown with all your girl friends, looking for an eventful weekend. little did you know you’d be running into him again, the nameless man that gave you a night to remember. you were definitely the first to notice him, it felt quite peculiar but as soon as you walked in you got struck with a weird deja vu moment. it all felt so familiar to you, even down to the symphonic melodies of jazz music playing in the distance, everything brought you back to that gloomy autumn night.

you’d try your dearest not to stare but your mind was not complying with any rationality, one look at his broad physique and it was endgame for all your sanity. it didn’t help that your body went inert, lost in a trance of him indefinitely, wanting nothing more than to worship him and give in to his every need. you reminisce about him telling you how much of a good girl you were for taking all of it, sucking on his fingers as you completely come undone underneath him. he left you begging for more that night, crying and pleading for at least a goodbye kiss - which you never got the pleasure of getting. “i told you this was a one time thing only.. besides, i’m leaving the city tomorrow for good so you’ll probably never see me again. it’s for the best anyway.”

his cold last words left more than a lasting impression on you. it sent you into an endless spiral of overthinking, analyzing any and everything you could’ve done wrong. did that night really mean absolutely nothing to him at all? all the countless times you’d touch yourself to vivid recounts of his face pressed into your thigh, plastering wet kisses all over them and sucking on your bruised skin. he’d spank each thigh one by one as a punishment, proudly smirking at the way you’d wince out in pain mixed with so much pleasure. he thrived off the idea that he was the first to corrupt you like this, a girl he hasn’t even known for a span of 24 hours willing to give up just about anything she had to offer. had you shamelessly wrapped around his finger like an brainless puppet.

you still don’t understand how someone can look so divine, even when doing nothing but just standing. you watch as he sips Viognier out of an oversized wine glass, gazing at the crowd, ruffling his fingers through his hair from time to time. then it became unreal when you locked eyes with him, catching him stealing a glance when he realizes who you were. you look almost exactly the same as you did a few years ago, the only part that’s different about you now is the recent butterfly tattoo you got on your lower back. that’ll be a pleasant surprise for him to find out. his eyes never drifted once they landed on you, he was in just as much shock as you were - maybe more. he’d made an internal promise to himself to keep you as a forever one time fling - nothing more just that, but if fate wasn’t real then why would the universe send you back into each other’s lives?

no, not a romantic kind of fate. the fate you get when someone you’ve mindlessly lusted over for ages has finally found its way to you again. a fate that doesn’t occur by chance, or coincidence, it was pure destiny awaiting to happen.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

“wow, you haven’t changed at all have you?” he says nonchalantly, acting as if you were an old friend he was catching up with. you weren’t sure how to respond, the surrealism of the moment brought you everywhere but reality. all you really could do was blink, fluttering your lashes at his towering figure over you. though there was a sea of people in this packed, lively bar, it felt like only you two existed in this confined space. he tried striking up the usual basic conversation with the typical, how’re your studies going? work’s been treating you well? anything exciting happen in your life recently? you gave as much of a vague answer as you could, barely putting any thought or effort, you were only giving him the same treatment that he gave back then. he would often come off as bored or condescending at times, it felt good to take back just the little bit of power you upheld.

you quietly observe as he orders another drink, two actually, not even bothering to ask what you wanted. he hands you a glass with a salted rim, the clear liquid made you believe it was either vodka or tequila, either way you gulped it down in no time and squeeze the lime on the side as chaser. you didn’t have much to drink but his presence alone was already enough to make you feel tipsy. “i thought you said you were never coming back to the city?” you blurt out, instantly scolding yourself for bringing up the past this quickly. it was just the undying curiosity of wanting to know the inner depths of him, not the stonewall of a persona he portrays to be. “i don’t know, guess i just felt like visiting. also had some unfinished business to attend to.” there he goes again with those subtle answers, toying with you so easily. his responses have always annoyed you to a certain extent but this feels even more strange for some reason. what’s the “unfinished business” he’s referring to?

“so” he pauses, never actually finishing his thought. “so..” you awkwardly mimic, hoping he’ll spit out whatever the hell he has to say. it took some time before he clears his throat and takes a sip of what seemed like his fiftieth drink tonight. “soo, do you…maybe wanna get out of here?” you’re not sure what’s with the shy act suddenly, he wasn’t this timid when you first met him. it’s like you’re meeting a whole new person. “uhm, sure i guess” you spoke hesitantly, taking his hand as he reaches out for yours. bumping into loads of drunk people while he weaved you through the crowd, it felt like multiple eternities before you’ve found the exit. he lights a cigarette before heading down the vintage spiral staircase, still hand in hand with you. “goddamn… look at your fine ass. still just as sexy as i remember you last time mamas.” he gracefully compliments, walking slightly behind in attempts of getting better sight at the back view of the form fitting dress you wore. his hand left yours in favor of wrapping around your waist. “t-thanks.” you reply sheepishly, hoping that he doesn’t notice how flushed your cheeks are.

before getting in his car, there was one more thing you needed closure with, the one thing that constantly kept you up at night. “i don’t mean to be this straightforward but, i want to know your name. i know this probably sounds really lame and pathetic but it’s been eating me up inside since the day we met and… i just- i think i deserve the right to know is all.” you wanted to scream at your poor delivery, sounding nowhere near as confident as you did in your head. the cigarette was still tucked between his lips, taking another long drag before answering you. “damn, even after all this time i still occupy your mind sweetheart? that’s adorable,” he teases, reveling in on your confession. “but i suppose i can agree with you since i did keep you guessing for so long. it’s only fair you should know, right?” that sly little smirk never left his face, he knows exactly how to mess with you. “it’s jungkook. and you are?” ah, so he really does have a name. “y/n.” you mutter, looking down at the pavement. “that’s pretty, i like it. suits you well.” his hand raises yours to his lips, kissing it gently, “nice to formally meet you y/n.” your eyes dart at him reluctantly, hoping your palms weren’t too clammy. “you too, jungkook.” none of this still felt real to you, you wanted to pinch yourself and wake up immediately. “it’s kinda hot the way you say my name.” he casually admits, the grin on his face deepens, “that won’t be the only thing you’ll be screaming at the top of your lungs tonight though.”

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

this certainly wasn’t the first (or last) time you found yourself like this. getting severe brush burn from the carpet by being obediently on your knees, swiftly bobbing your head as tears stream down your face, ruining your precious mascara. the only audible sounds were his groans echoing in the room of this giant suite at the four seasons. it gave a sense of familiarity, and oddly enough you found comfort in being in such a compromised situation. especially with him again. “fuck, you’re so pretty,” he grunts, grabbing a fistful of hair, never taking his eyes off you. “look even prettier with my cock stuffed deep in your mouth.” his words sent chills, all you wanted to do was keep pleasing him. your mind goes hazy from the end of his shaft hitting the back of your throat, other than the tears, you showed no outright emotion—you had to endure this, you’ve been praying for this moment since your first ever encounter. big doe eyes look up at him innocently as you suck the soul out of him, all the shiny gloss you wore on your lips now completely transferred onto him - in this perspective, you were utterly perfect.

“shit- you’re so good at this..” he hisses, watching as you kneel beneath him, saliva glistening on your chin as you gag all over his cock. you do the best you can to fit all of him, you did learn from the best after all. you hum against him in response, feeling his cock twitch from the sudden vibrations. if you keep going like this he’s bound to cum for sure, but he doesn’t want to give you that satisfaction - he wants to have all the power and control. “get up.” he spat harshly, if you swirl your tongue around him like that one more time he feels as tho he’s about to combust. the choice of only taking him further in made him even angrier. “did you not fucking hear me? i said get. the. fuck. up.” he pulls your hair tighter to yank your head back, forcing a semi-loud *pop* with your lips as you detach from his cock, swallowing the string of drool from the corner of your mouth. silly you for keep going, you should’ve listened the first time. now your forever fantasy of getting to suck him dry and drink his cum has sadly been cut short... “since you’re so damn greedy for this cock why don’t you go stand up against that window while i fuck you, hm?” your face becomes mortified when you haven’t realized just how big those windows truly were. it took up a quarter of the living room and the curtains were never closed which you also failed to notice. you were at the top floor of this 52 story building but still, you were rightfully nervous out of your mind.

the next thing you knew, your body’s pressed up to the cold glass, his big hands caressing both sides of your waist and trailing kisses to the exposed skin on your back. you watch the faint reflection of him toying with the hem of your mini dress, slowly pulling it up then stopping when he gets to a certain point. “oh.. what’s this here?” he asks, glancing down at your butterfly tattoo, his fingertips lightly brushing over the fresh ink. “guess you aren’t so innocent as i thought you were.” you shook your head, biting your lip when he gropes your ass, “n-never was i-innocent.” you quietly mewl. “oh yeah?” he breaths warmly against your neck, hiking the dress up further. “then be a good little slut for me and don’t speak unless i tell you to.” the palm of his hand slaps your cheek hard enough to leave a visible print, pushing you up against the window more. you were enjoying every single minute of this, you were so elated that you could cry again. you feel his touch down lower, grazing over your folds to feel how wet you are. “shit, you’re already dripping like this just from sucking me off? always knew you were such a filthy whore.” two fingers slid into your heat with ease, pumping them in and out. “nngh~” you moan lowly, “shh, quiet for me doll. wait ‘til i fill you with my cock then you can scream all you want.” when he pulls them out his chest collides with your back, rubbing himself between your folds and bringing his drenched fingers up to your mouth. of course, you open eagerly to suck on his sleek digits, you remember doing this exact thing last time. history truly does repeat itself.

once he fully settles in, the clench of you around him makes his brain all fuzzy, you feel so warm and inviting, could stay like this forever. “fuck.. so fucking tight” he husks, firmly gripping at your waist before he begins moving. first he goes at a normal pace, stuffing you nice and slow with delicate kisses to your shoulders. he soon built up more momentum, thrusting in and out of your soaking cunt as bodies clash together. you arch your back more as he his cock hits your walls deeper, mumbling a bunch of gibberish as he fucks you completely dumb. “what’s that doll? i can’t hear you, speak the fuck up.” he orders sternly, producing another harsh, loud slap to your ass - never letting up on his stamina. “ughh f-fuck! you’re so b-big, feels sso goood.” you whine, feeling nothing but cockdumb at this point. “yeah? you like the way i stretch this pussy out? gonna cream all over my cock just like you did for me last time baby?” his strokes get rougher with each question. “yes…yes.. oh fuck- jungkook! jungkookk!” you chant over and over like you’re casting a spell, the ring of his name slips on your tongue smoother than the pungent liquor you drank earlier. “only i can fuck you as good as this right? have you acting this obedient and submissive? bet you were manifesting this shit all long, just can’t enough of my cock can you?” the questions just won’t stop, and the waterworks soon start up again, you’re not sure how much more you can endure.

“don’t even fucking answer, i already know anyway.” his cockiness really pissed you off but at least he had the evidence to back his arrogance up. his pace grew relentless as he watches himself disappear in you, still gawking over the pretty design of the butterfly. you felt so close - that same knot tied in your stomach like you felt before; you haven’t had this feeling since the very first time, as if only he was the one to unlock this level of passion out of you. “g-gonna cum s-soonn.” you alert him, tasting the faint bitter saltiness from your tears pooling down. a pair of strong hands connect around your neck, wrapping tightly as he rams in harder, making your whole body tremble and shake. “go ahead, do it.” jungkook encourages supportively, “cum with me doll face.” those words were all you needed to hear to let go, screaming out his name and a slew of more curses. you feel your release drip down your leg, mind completely blank from the buzz taking over you. he quickly pulls out, dumping all his white seed onto your back as you whine from being empty again. you could honestly go for another round if he asked you to right now. it was fun while it lasted though, looking over at the skyline view while getting your back blown out - seemed like a literal dream come true.

the aftermath was quiet, you didn’t say much and neither did he, you reverted right back to your shy demeanor. when you cleaned up yourself in the bathroom you grabbed your purse to rummage for your house keys but he stops you mid action. “where’re you going?” that only confuses you more, where else would you be going? “uh, home?” you meekly respond, unsure of his real intentions. “don’t be like that, you can stay the night here.” he suggests, “my plane leaves in the morning though but you can sleep here for as long as you’d like, i’ll book this room for an extra day.” it was sweet of him to do that for you, it was the least he could do to mellow your sorrows. you were hoping to be with him for a bit longer but what were you expecting really? he’s just someone who comes and goes, taking everything you had to give, just to leave you high and dry all over again. “come here.” jungkook directs assertively, patting his thigh for you to sit on his lap, you waste no time in propping yourself onto him. “don’t be sad doll, cheer up. we’ll meet again sometime yeah?” you nod, feeling so hopeless and broken inside, he’s only saying this because he probably just wants to fuck again. that’s all you are to him, a fucktoy and nothing more. even though he sees you in that light, it still makes you feel validated in some twisted kind of way. at least right now you have all of his attention, it may just be momentarily but it felt so good. one thing was definitely made clear by him though - he was deeply, undeniably, in pure lust with you.

[horrorisunknowntoyou]

The Moon will Sing

[SAGAU x Mexican! Creator-Reader]

A/n: I love SAGAU but realistically if I was stuck there I would be so sad I can't eat my culture foods ngl. Also y/n is implied first gen. Sorry lol. Also heavy leaning on y/n x Zhongli. Also title is from the song from The Crane Wives.

Also sorry if this sucks, it's kinda rushed and Idk what to do.

TW// obsessive-ish behavior

------------------------------------------------------------

You were transported to Teyvat after staying up all night playing Genshin before eventually passing out Infront of your computer.

When you open your eyes, you weren't in the comfort of your room but instead on gold altar.

People you recognized Infront of you as you sat up in shock. You hand hurting slightly as you looked down at it.

Blood.

In matter of fact, the blood was gold.

You watched as the wound healed itself on its own but your thoughts get interrupted as someone speaks up.

"My Grace, we are honored to have you here. The imposter has been dealt with, we pledge our devote loyalty to you."

You straight up passed out after this revelation.

After that whole fiasco, and you woke up to a bunch of crying acolytes.

Turns out, you were asleep for DAYS.

But you eventually grew accustomed to everything, honestly it wasn't as bad you thought it would be. Besides the weird obsessions and yandere like tendencies But there's one thing you missed dearly.

Home.

You were home sick and even the acolytes can see that. You didn't smile, you look off into the distance.

You miss the parties, music, going to swap meet and family members. Even the novellas your mother watched and eating her cooking.

Hell, you missed the internet.

It was just boring.

Then you got an idea, why not share them with your acolytes?! You get to explain your culture and maybe try to recreate dishes your mom made with ingredients here!

You immediately stood up from your throne excited. You immediately ran out of the temple, with the archons following you panicked.

"Your grace wait!" Zhongli yelled out chasing behind you. " You can't just leave abruptly like this! Please take me with you. "

You stood there, looking at a map you summoned looking at the places. "Sure! Let's go!" You grabbed around his waist and flew to places you needed to go.

He was practically beating his heart against his chest. The Creator was holding him! His ears were burning red in embarrassment.

You literally searched high and low, for ingredients alongside Zhongli. You either found substitutes or you quite literally had to create the ingredients. But once you had everything, you went straight to the kitchen.

The Archons were begging you, that they can someone else do it.

But you declined them, deciding to do it yourself.

You think the easiest recipe to do would be caldo de res. It's the one you seen your mother do countless times. And with your powers it should quicken the pace.... probably

Some of your acolytes were watching you, making sure your safe and do any task you asked.

Venti stood by the door way, along side zhongli and Xiao. Making sure your grace was fine.

At this point your at probably your third attempt at making this but you were really determined to get it right or at least

You took a spoonful and blew on it, taking a sip. And God it tasted like home, you place the utensil down and started to cry.

Venti was first to noticed, and thought you were upset. " Your grace don't cry! We can have some one else do it for you if your tired! "

You shook your head, wiping your tears smile. " I'm not sad, in fact I'm happy. Really happy. Would you like to try? It's a soup my mother always made."

Venti was so honored that the creator would even let him try, let alone a recipe the creators mother made!

Zhongli and Xiao whined, they wanted to try it too!

"Don't worry, you'll try it too!" You smiled, as you got a small spoonful.

Venti blushed, he's truly being rewarded, to be fed by the creator itself. He knows Xiao and Zhongli are practically seething in jealousy over this.

You were oblivious to it, feeding Venti small spoonfuls laughing. " Is it good?" You asked practically shaking in excitement.

He nodded happily, unknowingly teasing the other two in the room.

You made the jealousy even worse when you grabbed a handkerchief and clean up ventis face. Getting to be touched and so close to the creator smelling your perfume/cologne.

The other two pushed Venti aside, practically begging to be fed too.

You stood their dumbfounded but reluctantly agreed as well. Spoon feeding both of them, their faces light up.

They were so happy.

-----------------------------------------------------------

After that, you started cooking other dishes, your acolytes and followers were always so excited to try it.

They saw how much you emotionally improved so they was no discussion over it.

You also started telling them old folktales and customs from your culture. Scholars started to appear and request to write it down and study it. You even taught them Spanish!

Thought they call it, [y/n's] language. And etc.

Sometimes when doing a task, followers can hear you quietly sing songs in your language.

---------------------------------------------------------

Your favorite thing, was reactions. The reactions your acolytes and followers had to your culture. They saw it as sacred, but you saw it as home.

You remembered talking to Zhongli because he remembers all of liyues stories and such.

"Zhongli, would you like to listen to a folktale?" You quietly asked, sitting on your throne. Him standing besides you.

" I'll be honored. " He says with a smile.

"There's different variations of this story depending of the region, but this is how I know it. Usually told to children to scare children into obedience. "

You cleared your voice, " long ago, a beautiful indigenous women fell in love with a man of higher social status. They lived happily together, having two children of their own. One day the man abandoned her, to either marry a more beautiful woman then her or a woman of his status. It depends either way, he leaves her. Her feeling threatened by this, consumed by rage and despair. She drown her children, meeting her own demised along side it. God curses her to wonder as a ghost searching for lost children so she can get into heaven."

Zhongli perks up at the story, " did you curse the woman yourself ?"

"ummm...yes?" You said unsurely.

" I see, a fitting punishment of her. " He says proudly.

" ahem, yes of course. Anyway she's called "la llorona" meaning The weeping woman..forever walking near bodies of water in search of her children so she may enter...umm.. heaven? "

Zhongli, tilts his head " what is heaven? " At this point your hands were sweating. " Ummm it's kinda like Celestia? But instead angels and stuff are there and it's like... Holy. You know? Anyway no more questions."

--------------------------------------------------------

Random Head Canons and such

If you have curly hair, best believe the acolytes would be fascinated by it. Especially if they give you baths and pamper you.

You would teach Venti songs you know for example: hijo de la Luna.

Sometimes you sing them if you feel like it. Mostly to little kids.

The Adults are definitely not jealous.

The Archons fight each other over being your dancing partner. This is because you needed someone to show how to dance bachata. And ever since they just fight over that spot.

Same for being food taster, they like eating your food and being the first one to try it is such a big honour. You don't know why? Either way they like being spoon fed your cooking.

They all listen to your stories and take your advice very very seriously. It's annoying lol

You taught them your cultures customs, for example birthday customs. You're absolutely not allowed to have your face smashed into cake. They absolutely refuse to do that to you.

Also if you like spicy food, they probably be amazed at your spice tolerance. You'll probably mess with them by eating a whole chile Infront of them.

There are times where you do get very home sick and won't leave your room. When you do, they try their absolute best to comfort you.

Also you have given some of your followers Spanish nicknames for funsies.

Sometimes you and your acolytes would speak Spanish with you. They think it's like the biggest honor to understand your language and speak it with you. But you just think it's nice. Plus you get to have secret convos with people you don't want to know what your saving.

That's all I can think of , off the top of my head lol.

[codemiracle]

Can you please tell me the backstory of the ocs...they are so gorgeous omg...thank u !!!...

My first ask... omg....!! (tries to seem calm about it) Thank u for asking!!! I'm glad you like them :((<3 The backstory of my ocs is still mostly a wip even to me (i change my mind often about things, especially when my mind fixates on different topics) But I can tell you more about the two ocs in this post here. tw: mentions of death, stalking, unhealthy behavior, dark stuff overall, and mentions of self-harm on Yuuta's part. (All of the images used here are CGs for the game.)

Yuuta is a deeply troubled person. His mother died when he was very young and he's been dealing with the loss of literally his only parental figure since (his father is literally the leader of a pyramid scheme cult and doesn't know about his existence) He despises how fragile humans can be and since then he tries to understand his own mortality through inflicting pain upon his own body. His mother died due to an illness he also has, an illness that causes parts of his body to suddenly get badly bruised or bleed without warning, his blood is really thin so stopping bleeding is hard for him too. He eventually finds some escape from his solitude exploring his darker side by meeting the MC (the character you control in the game) He gets deeply obsessed with them since he finds that inflicting pain on them (don't worry it's all consensual) is more relieving than doing it to himself. He loves the feeling of power it gives him, the feeling of a life hanging in between his fingers. And this time he won't let go so easily. He might be a little bit of a sharp-tongued person and sometimes can seem pretty harsh with people and even the MC, but it's due to the fear of losing someone again. When he really really gets into you he won't let you go, that's for sure. He can't let go of someone again.

Yotsuya it's quite the opposite of Yuuta, he doesn't hide his true feelings behind a mask of hatred and coldness, instead, he's a more shy but polite person, much more pleasant to be around tbh. But don't let that fool you. He has his own inner turmoil too. He's been following the MC for a while now (for unknown reasons) and seems pretty fixated on them, taking the same train as them after work, trying to make small talk as they bump into each other in conveniently the same places. He's always stressed from work, often you can find him just crying outside his workplace while he smokes (like in the drawing) or standing eerily quiet in the dark of night in the middle of the street. Not much is now about Yotsuya, but the fact he truly despises cheaters, often making remarks about cheating culture and hating on people who cheat on their partners. He seems to know the MC from somewhere else but refuses to say where they met the first time. Doesn't seem to have any connections or family, living alone in some simple apartment. I can't tell you much about him because I want you to discover who the "True" Yotsuya is (that's the point of his route.) But I can tell you, this guy isn't anything like it seems, he's quite the opposite of his sweet and shy persona when he's inside his home. That's his place, his playing field so to speak. He's no longer the meek office worker, but his true self.

Sorry, that was so much text.... and I feel like I didn't say anything interesting... feel free to ask if you need to know anything else!

<3

[anticanonsposts]

SFW Alphabet-König

SFW Alphabet, hehe there's some nsfw so mdni

 A= Affection (How Affectionate are they? How do they show affection?

Definitely is not super into PDA because of his social anxiety, he already commands a lot of unwanted attention due to his size and he’d rather not get any more.

That being said when he is nervous, holding hands/you holding onto his arms can be very comforting and grounding. Also if he is drunk he will be a lot more into PDA but sober not really.

Other than in public he shows affection by just paying attention to a lot of the things you do/say. He is the type to remember that you like something and then buy it for you.

Also when you two are alone he really likes touching you, anyway really he just likes your touch. 

B= Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Once he realized he liked being around you, he definitely got more nervous around you because he also wanted you to like him.

It took him a bit to figure out if he liked you as just a friend or more than a friend, he knew for sure though that he wanted you to be with him to some capacity.

Otherwise as a best friend he would always be someone you could depend on, and in turn would need validation from you/your help walking him through his problems and giving him advice. 

C= Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

At first he is very timid when cuddling because he doesn't wanna bother you but once he gets comfortable and finds out that one of your love languages is touch he is ALL over you.

He is fine being the big or little spoon.

He also really likes laying on your chest and just being buried in your tits.

D= Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Due to his hectic career he definitely wants to retire and settle down so he can just relax a little bit.

Since he was in the army he is pretty clean and organized, but lets himself be a little cluttered since he no longer has to be as rigid as he used to be.

He always asks if you need any help with anything and will clean things without being asked.

He also loves to cook you things from his culture, especially things that his mother used to cook for him. 

His heart literally melts and he can’t stop smiling when you make him something his mom said was his favorite. (You called her and talked for hours, and she is also obsessed with you).

E= Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) 

Unless it was an abusive situation I think he would be very apologetic during a break up. I think he would explain how it truly isn’t his partner, it's him.

He definitely has a few issues/insecurities and he would make it clear that it was him who needed growing.

He also gives me the vibes that he would wanna still be a support for his ex-partner if they wanted to, but he would also understand if they never wanted anything to do with him. 

F= Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

I think he would wanna be in a committed relationship pretty quickly, not necessarily marriage but long term partner status.

He is also very open with communication and you two have talks about what you each want, and how quickly you would want to get married. 

If you want to wait, just not wanting to rush things, or another reason that you explain to him he would be very chill with that.

However the day you did get engaged would be one of the happiest days of his life.

He would want to do whatever you wanted for the wedding no matter how big or small. He would be fully aware that your wedding day is about you and he is just Ken, you are Barbie, ALWAYS.

Also not to be dramatic but this would quite literally be the best day of his life. Nothing can compare to the happiness that swelled his heart when you two had your first dance after the ceremony, he would defo cry into your shoulder.

That being said this man is a wreck before hand, he is for sure nervous but his groomsmen hype him up.  

And once he sees you at the end of the isle the Nile river itself could not gush as much as he did, he literally has a small thing of tissues in his pocket because he knew this would happen.

Also when you guys give your vows you give them both in English and German so that both your families can understand. You don’t tell him about this until the moment, once you finish your vows in English you start to recite them in German and he just starts crying even more. He then gives his in both languages.  

G= Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) 

Physically his default is gentle because he never wants to hurt you, he will only be more rough if you explicitly say so.

The only exception to this is if you guys are drinking he might get a bit rougher but again nothing that would hurt you.

Emotionally he really prefers to be calmer and talk through issues the two of you have, especially if you have a bad past with people yelling and throwing things so he is very conscious of that when he does get upset.

He also is just so used to hostile environments when at work that he wants his time with you to be the antithesis of that. 

H= Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Again when he first gets to know you he is not super touchy out of respect. As you get more comfortable he loves it when you hug him, because he also knows you don’t hug many people so he takes it as a compliment. 

He really prefers to hug you under your arms, so yours are over his shoulders, partly because of your size difference he sort of scoops you off your feet when you do hug. He also just loves wrapping his arms around your sides/back.

I= I love you (How fast do they say the L=word?)

Not gonna lie I feel like he catches feelings pretty quickly and really devotes himself to you.

At first you just notice that his stares linger for longer and he does that sleepy half blink at you alot. 

When he does say I love you it’s when you both wake up from a night together and the sun comes through the window and he is just overwhelmed with how loved you make him feel and he says it. 

When you say it back he is floored and over the moon happy.

J= Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

I feel like he only gets jealous when he sees you with people that have skills he doesn’t.

Like if he sees you darting through a crowd with another smaller friend he gets mad that he isn’t able to do that.

Sometimes he just feels like a burden more than anything in that he needs comfort in social settings. But he brings this up and you talk about it and assure him you don’t mind at all.

Otherwise his jealousy really just comes out when he is drunk, because he gets cocky and if he sees some sleaze walk up to you and start talking or god forbid touch you he gets very territorial and pushes the guy away. 

K= Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they  like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Since he doesn’t have a lot of sexual or relationship experience he isn’t the most skilled kisser, but he learns quickly.

If anything it is just super sloppy, both because of his lack of experience and because his mouth is just bigger than yours.

However when it comes to pecks and simple kisses he loves it when you kiss his hands or arms in any way, he also goes nuts if you are on top of him tracing kisses along his neck and shoulders.

He really likes to kiss your face, neck, and head. Sometimes you’ll be home and he just plants a kiss on the back of your neck out of nowhere. 

He also really likes to trap you in his arms and hold your face with one hand while he litters kisses all over your face (Very Gomez Adams adjacent).

L= Little ones (How are they around children?)

He is for sure a bit nervous around kids at first because they are tiny and he doesn’t want to be too rough and hurt them.

But once he figures out that they just wanna use him as a jungle gym he is very good with them. 

Once at a family event you found him with about 6 kids hanging on him and it made you even more attracted to him.

He notices that after you two see a child/hang out with a child that the following night you fuck his brains out. 

M= Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He is a pretty early riser since he is used to getting up so early.

This usually works out for you, since you need to get up for work anyways.

However on the days that you can sleep in, this man will keep you in that bed until at least noon. Whining like a toddler whenever you go to get up. 

This is the only time that he uses your size difference against you without asking. 

N= Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights for you two is your time to de-stress from the day and really relax.

Whether that be having sex or just being with each other it does not matter.

One thing he always does though is make sure you eat dinner (he knows about girl dinner and does not approve) he also asks to see what you ate earlier in the day and really goes into parent mode if you say you haven’t eaten.

srs/ the most angry you ever saw him was when he asked what you had eaten by 4pm and you said coffee and a cheese stick. 

O= Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) 

He definitely doesn’t unload everything on you at first, but he opens up eventually.

The more he tells you, the more and more comfortable he is getting with you. 

One of the first things he tells you is his anxiety issues because he knows that it will have the most day to day effect on your relationship/lives. In turn you also explain to him your various mental health issues.

Later on he explains his past of being bullied and feels really safe with you because you offer nothing but support and love, and absolutely no judgment. 

P=Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He is more the type of person to get sad if you hurt him, his anger usually manifests into silence and he stews.

However, when it comes to people disrespecting you he gets angry very quickly, if anyone is rude to you or is physically aggressive towards you, he sits that shit down immediately, and it usually takes him a few minutes to cool off.

You are much quicker to anger than him, and he picks up on this very quickly and honestly really likes it because sometimes it’s in his defense.

When YOU defend him he honestly kicks his feet and giggles because he genuinely feels so safe with you. 

Q= Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) 

He would remember EVERYTHING about you.

Literally you mention something once to him once and it will be locked in his brain forever.

To the point that you get a little insecure about how much less you remember, you have a pretty good memory but not as good as his.

He legit doesn't care though, he is more than ok repeating himself.

R= Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite moments in your relationship are the small ones.

For example there was one night where you were just laying on top of him like dead weight with your cheek pressed against his mindlessly scrolling through your phone.

You actually ended up falling asleep on him and he was oh so careful moving out from under you, he really didn’t want to wake you.

For the rest of the night he just stared at your sleeping form, memorizing every detail of your face. 

S= Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) 

He is very protective of you and you also are of him. He always checks in with you to see how you are feeling.

He is physically and emotionally protective of you, physically he knows that he makes you feel safe. Like you have a whole ass tank of a man with you at all times. But you have also expressed that you feel comfortable and secure that he would never use his size against you.

He is emotionally protective of you and your mental health issues, and he is there to support you through those tough times. 

As far as protecting him goes, he really likes how he is able to go to you with any problem or thought he is having and you will have an open mind and want to help him.

Surprisingly too he physically feels very safe with you because despite your size difference you are a very fierce and confident person. 

He knows that if shit really went down and you needed to fight that you could and would hold your own. And to be honest that is a turn on for him lol, like he loves how dominant and straight forward you are. 

T= Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) 

Not gonna lie he puts a fuck ton of effort into doing things with you. On special occasions expect to wake up to flowers and food.

He will take you out wherever you want and really devotes time to working on his social anxiety so that he can be more in the moment when you do go out. 

Day to day he would wait on you hand and foot if you let him, you usually insist that you can do things yourself but he usually weasels his way into doing small tasks for you.

Of course you return his effort back and if anything he sometimes is just faster to do things than you are. 

U= Ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?) 

Sometimes he really lets his anxiety get the best of him and goes silent just letting his thoughts run wild. 

You have a really hard time with silence typically and that is the biggest hump you two need to pass. Is that when either of you are upset, no matter how uncomfortable, you two NEED to just talk about it because it makes it so much worse for you to just sit in your thoughts.

V= Vanity (cow concerned are they with their looks?)

He is only concerned with his looks in the sense that he knows he has a very obvious presence when he is in public, and he understands the scary effect he has on some people.

Otherwise he doesn’t care that much, he takes care of his looks physically but in a maintenance way more so. 

If anything he is really nervous about what you will think of how he looks. Like when you see him naked for the first time or without his mask for the first time.

Before that his stomach was in KNOTS because of how nervous he was. But when you do finally see all of him you don’t stop complimenting (and just staring at) him for hours afterwards and his confidence goes through the roof as you two continue to date. 

It takes him a while to accept that someone truly loves him and how he looks 100%.

When he gets drunk he definitely gets more vain, checks himself out in the mirror longer, and has more confidence with the effect his looks have on you and gets more flirty. 

NSFW but the first time you guys have sex in front of a mirror is when he is a little tipsy since he needs a little confidence boost in order to try it. Spoiler alert he loves it.

W= Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

In the least codependent way possible he would not. Once he meets you, everything just makes more sense to him and he knows that he just wants to be with you for forever and then some. 

You are the sun that rises and sets on his days and he is obsessed with you, but is also very receptive to your boundaries and doesn’t want to be too clingy.

Cliche but you truly are Barbie and he is just Ken, and he is 100% ok with it. 

X= Xtra (A random headcanon for them.) 

Coupled with him being obsessed with you, he sort of has a staring problem and sometimes if you are doing work or on your phone he will just stare at you for so long.

He also does this when you are driving the two of you around, his body will be facing yours when he is in the passenger seat. 

Y= Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Sometimes your love language is teasing and he has a few names/insults that he does not want to be called at all because they are similar to things he’d been called when he was bullied growing up. 

On a lighter note he hates pickles and will legit side eye you when you are together and you are eating whole pickles. But this makes you the perfect restaurant pair because he always gives you his pickles. 

Z= Zzz (What are their sleep habits?)

Like previously mentioned he is a pretty early riser but also can be a night owl if that is what you’re used to. However it gets to the point where he is comfortable enough that he can fall asleep pretty quickly as long as he is with you.

He is used to sleeping in cramped spaces because there are rarely beds big enough for him so you typically do fit on the bed with him, but you always tell him to take up as much room as he needs.

Once you guys move in together, you buy a special bed that has plenty of space for the both of you.

 When sleeping with you he loves to just be in your arms. Sometimes when you need some grounding he will act as your weighted blanket and just become dead weight on you. Both of you are very heavy sleepers so once he is out , and if you need to get out from under him, it is definitely a challenge.

[underdark-dreams]

Request from @smolpocketmonstercoffee that I accidently deleted when I was trying to kill a spider (fucking wish I was kidding 😭)

🖤 HCs: Dammon / Rolan as new dads 🖤

Dammon:

Dammon seems like the type to want a family, probably a large one, and let’s be honest fatherhood would come SO naturally to him

After everything he’s been through in Elturel and Avernus, the challenge of raising a child doesn’t phase him one bit

Much more elated than he is nervous about the prospect

When Dammon holds his baby for the first time, he wants you to be right beside him. Pulls you close so you can look at this beautiful new little life together

He might say something a little sappy (“Look at what we made, love”), but coming from him it is somehow 100% sincere and extremely sweet

He’s that type of dad to have a conversation with his baby whenever they’re fussing/crying

“Oh dearest. Oh darling. What’s the matter? Hush, little one, I’m here—”

He would rock his baby to sleep with stories about Elturel and their people's history. Even when they’re still too little to understand, it’s very important to him that your child learns about their culture and where they came from

You both do a great job at alternating the night shift duties during the first months. Dammon offers to generously take more than his share, even when he's running on 2 hours of sleep already. But you know he needs all the rest he can get since his work takes a lot of energy

During the day he wears one of those baby slings to keep your child wrapped safe and secure against his chest, even while he's at work in his forge

You're a little skeptical about it until you glimpse your baby’s eyes closed fast asleep against Dammon even as he loudly tempers a sword with his hammer. Truly their father's child. It's the most adorable picture

As a dad, Dammon would place a lot of weight on teaching your child the difference between right and wrong. He encourages them to be thoughtful and kind to others always

And he's a very kind father himself. When your little one gets hurt, they run to Dammon 90% of the time over you for comfort. He's the resident expert at kissing it better

He makes them feel secure they can come to him with anything, even when they messed up/did something bad

Sometimes Dammon is too much of a softie and lets his child get away with little things. Many bedtimes are extended when Dammon is left in charge. He just doesn't always have the will to resist their little hands grabbing his face to ask please

And he’s so easily distracted whenever his kid wants to play. He’ll abandon his work for hours to take them on walks to the park, build with toys, wrestle, all of it. You find them out in the yard playing knights a lot 

Dammon loves when they’re old enough to go for rides on his shoulders, little hands holding on to his horns for balance. He takes them around the city and plays ‘say what you see’ to help them learn their words

---------

Rolan:

Of course, he is overjoyed when you tell him. But something tells me Rolan’s next reaction to finding out he’s going to be a dad would be a very focused and existential freakout

There’s so many things he has to do, you and he have so much to prepare for, he wants his child to come into a perfect world & feels responsible for making it that way

Bit of a panic attack dad. You have to encourage him to breathe & relax & take things one day at a time

Late at night though, you just know Rolan’s lying awake wondering what if you two didn’t pre-pre-register for the absolute best preschool in Baldur’s Gate?

They’re his child, so they’re bound to be a magical prodigy. And he is determined to give them every advantage he never had growing up

When holding his baby for the first time: the first thing he feels is a sense of overwhelming protectiveness

Rolan has experienced some dark, unfair shit in his life. He knows the world can be a very harsh and unforgiving place, especially to Tieflings

Rolan always thought of himself as a more instinctual, look-out-for-yourself-first type. But looking at this tiny bundle in his arms, he would give anything to protect them 

He's overwhelmed with love at every detail: tail no longer than his palm, ruddy skin the same shade as his, little golden eyes blinking up at him

"They've got my eyes!" He tells you in pure excitement, smiling and tearing up at the same time

Rolan is surprisingly natural with all the infant care things: changing, feeding, putting down for sleep, etc. He picked up a lot from growing up in foster homes and taking care of Cal and Lia when they were all young

That doesn’t make him any more conscious when it’s his turn to wake up in the middle of the night. He will rise from bed like a zombie, eyes barely cracked open, tending to his little one’s cries guided by an overwhelming force of instinct

Although he's got a lot of responsibility on his shoulders as master of Ramazith Tower, Rolan insists on splitting up childcare duties evenly so you can get your own work done. Balances your little cooing Tiefling baby on his hip while he’s giving his pupils their evocation lecture

They all respect him too much to say anything about it (ok Rolan is still pretty intimidating too)

If and when his child shows their first signs of magical talent, Rolan is completely overcome with emotion. He might have to excuse himself for a minute to collect his feelings alone 

He was hoping this day would come, but he could never be sure. They will have the best, most patient, most dedicated teacher in all of Faerûn

He’s an excellent teacher with other things, too. Rolan always wants to hear about what your little one learned in school today & he’s always ready to help with homework or extra tutoring

And when it comes to babysitting, Cal and Lia are lifesavers. They make it possible for you and Rolan to slip away for some alone time at least once a week

[yaut-jaknowit]

first of all I absolutely love your work honestly it is amazing!! And that last gawtin ask hurtttttt I was wondering if you could make a part two? If you want to of course maybe communication saves the day? I hope you have a good day!

Argument with Gawtin Part 2

Pairing: Gawtin (Female Yautja) x GN!Reader

Word Count: 2276

Summary: For hours, you stay in your art room, sobbing away the time until the tears run dry. Now, it's the time to figure out what to do. You don't want to leave, you never want to leave Gawtin or Qui'oky. They're your family. You'll find a way to fix this or die trying.

Author Note: Communication in relationships are incredibly important! Here, it does save the day. Thank you so much! It hurt me too to write it because I hate conflict and to have my favorite pair fight...

Masterlist

Ao3

Part 1

Once the tear ran dry and left stick, crusty lines down the lengths of your cheeks, you picked your head up enough and looked around. The space was the same, empty and void of Gawtin. Old paintings and drawings covered the walls from floor to ceiling, making this place yours. A room that the green Yautja had given to you. She done so much for you.

An ache started behind your sternum as you hung your head in shame again, unable to cry again. In an instant, you shoved it back into her face while flipping the middle finger at her. You sat up in your desk chair, chin level. You had to fix this. You wouldn’t let her go, wouldn’t let this go. Not her love, the sweetest thing you’ve ever tasted before. The two of you were meant to be together, no matter who or what said otherwise.

How would you show how sorry you are though? You glance around the room. It’s not like you’re a hunter like her. You couldn’t bring how creature five times your size. No, you were her artist. You wield pencils, not knives.

What could you make? Something she could understand in her own culture, something that would be of great value. Then, you shook your head. No, if it came from you, it’ll be enough. You dipped your head.

A newfound determination filled your veins. You stood up abruptly and walked towards the only exit. Once you’ve reached the door though, you paused before hitting the button to open it. What if she was out there? You couldn’t just ignore her and walk out. That would be incredibly rude and inconsiderate of Gawtin. Well, you’ll cross that bridge if you reached it.

All was quiet and dark in the main room of her hut. Your shoulders sagged both in relief and disappointment. Where had she gone? Qui’oky wasn’t here, meaning he had to be with his mother. She wouldn’t leave him to his lonesome.

You left the safety of your art room. The door sliding close behind you. The floorboards barely made complaints as you walked over to the front door. A satchel hung off your shoulders, a knife sitting in one of the pockets. Not much more than for cutting stems rather than the throats of animals that could consume you whole. In another pocket sat a device similar to a GPS and could lead you back home.

So be it. You wanted to show you cared about her, that you truly did. An argument would not ruin everything you’ve built with her. You wouldn’t let it, no matter how much you wanted to take the next flight off this planet. This was your home.

Out the door you went. Cool, humid air smack you straight in the face. It was far better than the burning binary suns that would bore down on your skin during the day. You braved your way through the humidity and started a path in a random direction. You let your heart led the way.

For a few miles, you traversed with little thoughts of where to go. Only thing that filled your mind was the flashbacks of the argument. The skin of your bottom lip had been worn down till the taste of blood, an action you couldn’t help. Not when Gawtin’s voice echoed in your head to go home. You wished you had said this was your home.

And it was. You belonged at her side, holding her hand with Qui’oky perched on your hip. This was your family, you were going to fight tooth and nail for it.

A gut feeling told you to stop. For a moment, you prayed it wasn’t an instinct you were being hunted. The hairs along your neck never raised. You relaxed and scanned the surrounding area until a feeling drew you towards your right. A feeling you followed until you found a shiny rock. The colors that matched the same hue as Gawtin’s dark, forest green. It was slipped into the main pocket and sealed off from the world it once sat in.

For what was probably hours, you continued to do this even after the yawn broke across you face. When your satchel began to dig into your shoulder uncomfortably, you called it a night.

Flowers, tied together with a thin string were held in one of your hands. The other held onto the GPS tracker, helping you to trek in the right direction home. You couldn’t believe you had found yourself five miles away from the hut. The walk back would take you forever especially with how the terrain was. This is a jungle that ranged from steep mountains to gushing rivers. A few rocks had been picked up from the riverbeds and snuck their way into your satchel as well.

Though it took at least another three hours to return home, the two suns beginning to peek through the trees, you made it. Your clothes were soaked through with sticky sweat. Hunger twisted your gut with each desperate call for food. You were smart enough to have a waterskin attached to your satchel so you didn’t perish from dehydration that far from home.

The familiar forest green roof/walls met your vision as you pushed through the thickest part of the foliage that surrounded the cottage. Home. You smiled in relief and trudged up to the door. Without even thinking, too exhausted to even think up thoughts, you pushed your way into the home. Gawtin still wasn’t home. You huffed and entered your art room.

Your satchel’s contents was dumped onto tabletop. The flowers were untied ands laid out as well. It may all look like junk you’ve picked up from the jungle’s floor, but to you, it was unmade art. All it was needing was to be pieced together, like a puzzle. You had the hands to do it.

Like the artist the whole town knew you as, you began to piece what items could go together. Even with the need to collapse and sleep for ten hours straight pulled at your mind, you pushed through.

When you grew irritated when some pieces didn’t want to fit with one another, you set it off to the side and looked at the flowers. All of them had long stems, perfect for what you wanted to do. You had also grabbed a lot, possibly too many but you didn’t want to trek all the way back out there and get more.

Covered in dirt, your hands began to weave the stems carefully with one another. A pattern you had pulled up on a tablet Gawtin had given you long ago. On the screen, it looked ease to follow but grew harder with each newly added stem. At times, you were ready to rip it apart and set it on fire. Somehow, you soldiered through and finally finished the piece.

It was far too large to sit upon your head, which was exactly what you were aiming for. You didn’t have any measurements for Gawtin’s head and only estimated on her size. Not like she was home for you to measure without her growing suspicious in the first place.

Now feeling better at the fact you finished one of the projects, you moved back towards the mess of rocks and wires on the other side of your desk.

Almost a year ago, you had given Gawtin a necklace you had specifically went out to the market for. That led you into a mess of going from one vendor to another before getting captured in the end. Gawtin had to save you from the trouble but she was never mad. She expressed that after she got you to the safety of the hut.

Everyday, she wears that necklace. A sign of either pride or love, maybe even both. But you loved it and it seemed like Gawtin did too. Now, you were designing two bracelets. Either for both arms or one. Whatever she choose to do with them was up to her.

Back in the seat of your desk chair, you sat crisscross and stared upon the rocks once more. Ideas flowed freely inside of your mind, anything for this to work.

With these being on her wrist, they had to be incredibly durable. Once a hunter, always hunter. They would be put under great distress due to her everyday routine.

The wire used to keep the rocks secure was the strongest one you could find within a reasonable price and at the nearest market. Though, you used one of the young bloods to retrieve it for you for a small price. But, you had to use what you get your hands on without Gawtin knowing. You could be resourceful yourself.

You set to grueling work of designing a bracelet that could hopefully hold up to any added stress. A thick, durable band was used to tie the rocks to. The wire themselves were difficult to for around the rocks with no heat source to soften the metal. You did your best in the moment.

Before you on the wooden desk table, sat two bracelets, large in diameter but could also be tightened or loosen if need be. Again, you didn’t have her measurements on hand.

As a breath of relief left your lips, you heard the front door open then close. Even in the near dead silent house, you couldn’t pick up on the footsteps of the lumbering giant. Just one slab of metal kept the two of you away from each other.

Both of your hands began to shake. This was your one and only chance to fix this. You took in a lung filling inhale, leveled your chin, and grabbed your three items off of the desk. Your feet marched their way over to the door. It opened a second after you pressed the need button.

In the small kitchenette stood the goddess of your life. Qui’oky was at her feet and holding onto his mother’s leg. But when he saw you exit the art room, he made a noise of excitement and waddled over to you. You bend down and scooped him off of the ground. He would’ve climbed you to get into your arms if you hadn’t. You couldn’t wait for him to get older…

Timidly, you stepped over into the edge of the kitchen, eyes pointing downwards at the ground. A submissive position you hoped would be please her.

“Gawtin,” you called out softly then picked up your gaze to find her purple eyes already on you. She was lax but not letting a single ounce of emotion fall through any cracks of features. “I’m-I’m sorry. I want to start off by apologizing.”

Qui’oky grew too heavy for you to hold and got in the way. You put him back down, hoping he would loss interest in you for the moment. The prayer was answered.

The items in your hands were offered to Gawtin. The flower crown held out first. “I don’t know what way you guys apologize so I did my best. I was out all night and searched for the best because that’s all you deserve. I should’ve never said those things to you. This is my home. I want to be here. You never took me, I wanted to come with you.”

The bracelets were shown to Gawtin next. “And… and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else besides here, with you. I love you so damn much. More than I could ever speak or gift to you. You are my family and so is he.” You fall to your knees and clutched the gifts in your hands as if you where praying. “Forgive me, please. I don’t want to leave. Please, let me stay. With you.”

It was only a small crack at first. The twitch of her gem studded brow before her walls came crashing down. Gawtin knelt down in front of you and wrapped her arms around you.

“I must apologize as well. I apologize for mocking you, for telling you to leave. This is your home. You belong with me, with us,” Gawtin whispered, voice rumbling deep in her throat as she held you close to her warm body. “I do not have excuses. I should have not taken my pent up anger out on you. That is my fault. A mistake I will not make again.”

Being in her arms was the best thing you could ever ask for. You sagged against her and sobbed into her chest. New, fresh, hot tears ran new rivets down the length of your cheeks. You did your best to encase her torso with your arms but came up short. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” you cried and held onto her as your lifeline. Because she is. She’s your lifeline.

Her massive hand ran up and down the length of your spine. “It is okay. Everything will be okay.”

An eternity passed until the muscles along Gawtin’s arms loosened up enough for you to pull back and look her in those beautiful purple eyes. She still kept you in her grasp, as if afraid you’ll disappeared. “Now, let me see what you have made for me, my little artist.”

In that moment, you knew everything was going to be fine. She was right. This was only a bump in the road you’ve gotten over. This is life. There will be more but as a power couple with your sweet child, you’ll make through it all. You smiled up at Gawtin through the blurry tears blocking your vision. Alien or not, you love her.

[boltonbritreads]

I am at the point of truly begging anons to stop sending hate to writers and ruining the ability for people to share their writing and others to get to read and engage with it. It literally just ruins everything for everyone and taints a space that’s supposed to be anything from comfort, escapism, a creative outlet, to hanging out with friends.

truly- what is the goal? what do you get out of pushing writers off the platform and making a fandom have even less engagement? I wish there was a “stop, are you really sure you want to send that message” screen before you could send anons sometimes so bc of that…..

🖤🖤 Eddie Munson Fic Rec List! 🖤🖤

as a reader who gets so much comfort and vital escapism from fanfic I want to just shout out some incredible stories I’ve been following/read lately:

*totally non exhaustive and just what I could remember at work!!* I’m hoping to add more & eventually made a proper list

@munson-blurbs’s “Trapped Under Ice” - truly lovely single dad eddie story that has so much heart and fluff and getting to see Eddie and Ms Sweetheart build their relationship and grow together has been so satisfying and lovely to read

@corroded-hellfire “As You Wish” I can’t even put into words 😩 I’m so down bad for this eddie and this fic and every single time reader gets to gets to spend time with Luke and Ryan and eddie gets even more smitten I melt

@upsidedownwithsteve’s “Simmer”!! I am truly losing my mind over simmer and as a fellow crybaby who just needs that extra comfort sometime, I yearn for Simmer!Eddie. Truly this fic means so much to me and I relate so so much to reader it makes me cry

@pinkrelish “The Yes Policy” - I mean, do I even have to say anything? It’s everything you could ever want and more in an eddie fic and the descriptions and imagery in every chapter my god ♥️🐭

@abibliophobiaa “Daylight” - holy shit I can’t express the itch this fic scratches it’s just the best and an absolute fluffy comfort fest. Lovesick Eddie, Unplanned Pregnancy reader, strangers to friends to lovers, cuddling in bed?? what more can you ask for?? I really love how *spoilers* eddie has accepted his feelings for reader and is just waiting for if/when she decides to go further with him, ball in her court

@sunflowergirl522 - “M’Lady, M’Lord” oh my this was so good and fun to read!! I’m such a sucker for goofy eddie and seeing reader meet him where he is and be playful back is just *chefs kiss*

@ghost-proofbaby - ok so basically anything Ghost has ever written is incredible but my highlights are “24 hours” because of course it is like ?? such a cool concept and the execution was perfection. I haven’t felt like I’m on the edge of my seat week-to-week for a fic in a while and seeing everyone react to each chapter and collectively lose our minds was so fun and something I love about fanfic!! After you’ve read “24 hours,” head on over to “So Scarlet (It was Maroon)” for some angst and pain and then chase it with “Coffee Shop Blues” for cute slice of life at a coffee shop with barista!eddie 🥰

@neonghostlights - “To the Moon & Back” alien eddie!!! I’m loving this series so far and how much fun and tension can be built into the dynamic of alien eddie and reader who have some language/cultural barriers but also like…..eddie gets it 👀👅

@harrywavycurly - there’s truly so much to choose from!! their master list has so much and there’s all kinds of text fics to dip into and a whole universe of Eddie’s! I personally love and am following “Trouble Next Door,” “It Was Just One Night,” and “Eddie’s Wish.” I desperately want TND eddie and reader to just get to smooch and cuddle but uh….I think getting over being cheated on and getting a divorce takes longer than I’d like 🫤

@carolmunson “Orange Coloured Sky” the older!eddie of dreeeeeeams my god 😍 from start to current this story has been so fun to follow and I’m loving the characterisation of this older eddie who is confident and hot but also….such a dork like immediately texting Steve “she said I’m the best she’s ever had 😎” I can’t

@luveline - ok anything and everything Jade has ever written, literally an entire treasure trove of a master list and the obviously heavy hitters are “June Baby!” and the “Eddie and Roan” series for all of the baby fever of reading about eddie and a cute baby but I also wanted to shout out the fic “A Quest for Bed” because it was so gosh darn sweet and fluffy and I love seeing eddie take care of reader once in a while

@trashmouth-richie - again another obvious incredible gorgeous fic “Honey I’m Home,” it’s so so beautiful and heart wrenching and funny and I’m in awe of the compassion and tenderness show towards the characters in this story. I adore HIH with everything but also “Do You Like How the Water Tastes” has been such a fun new story to dig into! I feel like I truly can’t predict what each chapter will be like and I keep being surprised by how Eddie interacts with reader and it makes each new chapter so exciting to read bc I think it’ll go one way and then I’m totally surprised!!

[saltburn-brain-rot]

I haven’t seen much talk about this piece of context yet so I’m just gonna put it out there. This is just brain rot drabble so take it with a grain of salt. I’m not an expert nor am I very familiar with British culture, but I am a gay person that grew up in the late 90s/early 00s in small town USA.

And sociopathic tendencies aside, I can relate a lot to Oliver, as well as Felix, when viewing them through the queer lens. That scene at the party early on at Oxford, sitting so close together in their own world. The small touches. The lingering looks. The tension feels too much to handle. Any formerly closeted queer person that had an intense crush on their best friend growing up probably can relate. You want to tell yourself they feel the same way, that you should just go for it—but you can’t trust yourself, and you certainly can’t make a move in a crowded room of people. It wouldn’t feel safe.

The feeling is too much, so Oliver redirects Felix’s attention to India and Annabel. The “safe” choices. But then when Felix does choose one of them, it hurts. He watches from the window, and later in the final flashback we see he was crying. He believes the truth and depth of his love is only meant for the shadows.

Farleigh has the freedom to be a confident pansexual because he has grown up in New York City with a bustling queer scene. Again I’m not very familiar with British culture, but I can imagine Oxford in 2006/2007 is more in line with the feeling of a small conservative town than the West Village in the early 2000s. Felix seems to accept Farleigh’s queerness, nonchalantly mentioning him sucking off the teachers, but he can’t understand his own feelings for Oliver. He can have any girl he wants and he does, but he doesn’t seem to actually feel anything for them. I used to do the same thing, trying to fool myself into feeling something for the opposite gender.

And the first time I admitted my feelings for someone of my same gender, confessed, and then was rejected? I shoved myself in the closet in shame so hard I convinced myself it was never true and it was all just a silly phase. Like Oliver.

Oliver loves Felix. Of course he does. And Felix loves Oliver. But in the moment neither of them can admit it, at least not truly and all that comes with it. They’re young and dumb and don’t fully understand their own feelings or motivations in a world where they’ve been raised to reject their queerness and strive for the status quo.

But maybe (definitely) I’m projecting.

I’m happy for the younger generations today that can be themselves at an earlier age. It’s only one small aspect of the movie to me, but seeing Saltburn and feeling the yearning and shy coming of age and coming into your queerness, and then how denying yourself can make it all go wrong, hit so close to home.

[cialovesklopp]

𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 ➺ k.mbappé

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — in which amara imani releases a certain video clip about her sex life with her boyfriend and said boyfriend gets teased for it

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — kylian mbappé x amara imani (oc)

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 — 8.8k

𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 — wild side [normani; cardi b]

taglist — @aechii @lorarri

masterlist

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌

amara.imani and iamcardib

liked by liyah_clark, k.mbappé and 19.384.256

amara.imani WILD SIDE OUT NOW. who wants to take me for a ride?

view all 172.304 comments

liyah_clark babe, you can ride me all night long

amara.imani with pleasure babe

graceywood do you still have the keys to charles’ pista?

liyah_clark he bought me my own

lilymunhi alex, do better

alex_albon 😑

carmenmundt george take notes

georgerussell charles screwing us over again

username if my trio isn’t like amara, grace and liyah, i don’t want it

username THAT FRIENDSHIP>>>

username amara making my two world collide 🥹

ousmane_dembele i know someone who wants to take you on a ride

arianagrande two goddesses together

username can’t believe, she still able to dance like that even after suffering her injury

username that video made me question my sexuality

username FR how can someone be that fine

username i refuse to believe evan henderson fooled the entire world into thinking that woman was not gorgeous

liyah_clark GIRL that naked dancing scene had even me reaching for holy water

liyah_clark bet someone’s getting lucky tonight

amara.imani maybe 🤔 we’ll see

username i think we can all agree that we’re jealous of her man and not her

liyah_clark true

username that video was an awakening, a cultural reset

username i’ve never watched a video so often

iamcardib picking you up at five

amara.imani i’ll be ready

antoinegriezmann has he seen the video yet?

amara.imani don’t think so, please don’t show him 😳

achrafhakimi does that include not watching the video together

username the way i’m begging the gods now that amara and kylian are dating

danielricciardo i have secret footage of max and pierre dancing to wild side

pierregasly THATS A LIE

maxverstappen YOU HAVE NO PROOF

amara.imani dw guys, i believe you (send it to me)

username THE WAY I WOULD KILL FOR THAT VIDEO

charles_leclerc me too

amara.imani

liked by liyah_clark, graceywood and 19.303.782 others

amara.imani getting emotional just thinking back. i missed it so much

view all 123.937 comments

username the way she progressed and came back to us even stronger than she had ever been

username we really got our old amara back

username fr i still remember the way she used to be so shy in her videos

cynthia.e i’m so proud of you, we are all soo proud of you

amara.imani i love you so much 🫶🏾

username this world is truly amara’s and we’re all just living in it

lewishamilton you were amazing in the video amara, congrats

amara.imani omg i’ve succeeded at life

amara.imani lewis hamilton is a fan of my music

amara.imani my 16 year old me is definitely crying (i’m crying too)

graceywood you really came back to reign the top again

amara.imani and there’s no one i’d rather be doing that with than you

liyah_clark if anyone ever doubts you again, just show them that video and they’ll shut up really quick

liyah_clark also, charles just told me they created a ‘amara imani protection squad’ and the entire grid is in it

charles_leclerc amara is a honorary grid member

maxverstappen1 it’s not her against the world anymore but rather us against them

amara.imani 🫶🏾🥹

landonorris can we get free tickets for your next tour?

alex_albon ignore lando, we love you even without that (but can we pleaseee get tickets to your next tour)

amara.imani don’t worry guys, the next time i’ll go on tour you’ll be the first one to know

amara.imani if someone told me three years ago that the entire f1 grid would create a protection squad for me, I’d have probably called the police on them

amara.imani and antoine, if you’re reading this, you’ll be the second to know

𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄

kylian mbappe liked to call himself a lucky man. he had it all. his dream job that consisted of him scoring against top teams, he lived in paris, the city of love and he had the perfect girlfriend — the girl he had crushed on for years. and he had the perfect balance between his private life and work.

he could enjoy his time with amara, their growing relationship that was forming on all ends while also hide her from the public and make sure no one even knew that the two had been going out. they played the perfect game — but what he hadn’t realized was how his private life and social life started to intertwine and the lines became thin and blurry.

his teammates being huge fan of his girlfriend was starting to become a bit complicated; especially when they were talking constantly about her. kylian wouldn’t call himself a very possessive person but he wasn’t an alien and jealousy was completely human. if he could, he would keep her all to himself, somewhere where they could be all alone and it would only be the two of them. he knew that amara, liyah and grace often joked together and his brain was also aware that his teammates often joked when they were playfully teasing him for her but still; it didn’t make the jealousy deep inside him burn less.

usually when his brain was overworked like that and his thoughts were all over the place, football helped him calm down, find his foot again. but this time it was useless with the way his team mates were already waiting for him, huge grins adorning their faces. he had briefly talked to amara this morning before leaving for training with her being in a different time zone — which didn’t make him miss her less — but made his jealousy subside a bit when she had smiled at him bigly. she was his and only his, no matter how many people had seen her shake her ass.

he intentionally made a big circle around the group, walking directly over to the coach to get his first warming up exercises. he would deal with them and their childish antics later. the first sessions went quicker than he had anticipated and soon, he found himself with no way to escape them.

“oohh, le patron est arrivé,” ousmane exclaimed jokingly, clapping fiercely on his back as the french striker walked past him. — the chef has arrived

“ta meuf a faire fort,” presnel added, smirking at kylian playfully. “elle a percé, carrément.” — your girl did great, she literally dropped a bomb

he bit his lip at the mention of ‘his girl’, forcing his lips to not turn into a smirk. she was his girl, and only his and it was probably the proudest thing he had ever had. he could ever call his.

“le monde entier est jaloux de toi sans même le savoir,” ousmane snickered, “imagine s’ils savait qu’ils étaient jalouse d’une tête de tortue?” he laughed as kylian rolled his eyes. — the entire world is jealous of you without even knowing

— imagine they would know that they’re jealous of a turtle head

“it’s not funny anymore,” kylian muttered, giving ousmane a light slap on his neck even though it didn’t make his best friend stop.

“t’as même déjà vu le clip?” presnel asked him curiously as they entered the changing rooms. sitting down next to his things, kylian shook his head as he took a big sip of his bottle of water. — have you even watched the clip already

“no, but i already got a three minute long voice message from antoine.”

the grin on presnel’s lips grew as he raised his eyebrows teasingly. “ohhh, t’as encore rien vu mon frère. amara pulled out the big moves.” — you haven’t seen anything yet, bro

putting his hoodie on, he chuckled as he felt pride curse through his body at the mention of her achievements. “anyone who didn’t know that she’s talented is blind. she’s more than just talented. i’ll watch the video later, once i’m at home.”

leaning in closer and with a certain mischievous glint in his eyes, presnel suggested funnily, “how about … we watch it here? make it a team bonding experience?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

watching his girlfriend on tv together with his teammates while she was singing about having sex with him was not something kylian wanted to bond over with his team. just the thought made a small flame of jealousy and possessiveness appear in his stomach.

but he didn’t even have the chance to decline as presnel had already called the rest of the team over. “le gars, venez vite,” presnel called the others over loudly, laughing when he saw kylian’s expression. “on va regarder le nouveau clip d’amara.” — guys come quickly, we’re going to watch amara’s new video clip

he facepalmed, hearing the other players come in rushed, as they all gathered in front of the big tv in the changing rooms. they had all smirks plastered on their faces when they walked past kylian, all ready to tease him for his girlfriend’s new song. especially when it was about their sex life.

there were only two times when kylian mbappé had wished for the ground to open up and swallow him: when he had missed that penalty at the euros 2021 and now. when he had to witness his teammates watch a music video that was clearly about his sex life.

the minute the first scene had started to play, he wished he had lied when presnel had asked him whether he had already watched the video or insisted he would watch it alone. the video hadn’t even been on for thirty seconds before he could hear the first whistles of his teammates.

“damn,” one exclaimed as they watched amara dance in a gorgeous red dress, kylian remembered having bought for her. he didn’t know she had planned to use it for her video. glancing at them, some were attempting to mimic amara’s move, failing unsurprisingly but causing laughter all around them.

and as much as kylian didn’t like the thought of his friends watching her in that way, those feelings were very quickly overthrown by the pride he felt while watching her.

seeing her in her natural element, the way she sang so graciously, her voice matching perfectly to the music in the background, a sense of awe and admiration rushed over him. he knew someone had to be good to sing and some were good at dancing but the way she was that talented to do both and make it seem so easy and flawless — it opened a new perspective. she had come and seen him in his element, witnessed the way he made the ball his own and became a warrior on the ground and now it was his turn to watch her undeniable talent.

and it wasn’t just that, that left him speechless and in awe. moreover the way she danced, her moves filled with passion and dedication but also charisma and ability— it all passed through the screens, capturing him completely and his heart too. his teammates were probably too busy gawking at amara to even truly listen to what she was singing about but kylian felt hit with every word that she sang.

her voice resonated in his ears like a melody, a sound he would never forget. it wasn’t as beautiful as her laugh but it always managed to brighten everything up, illuminate his world. even though he had realized from the beginning how lucky he was to know amara and that he had to treat her like the goddess she was, today was again, a reminder that amara imani way out of his league.

there was this legend that sometimes, one had to fall several times in love with a person to know that they truly loved her — kylian had probably already fallen in love with her twenty times and this video proved he would do it many more times. every note she sang, every word she said about them and their life, every move she performed — it was her that truly captivated his eye. and the funniest thing was the it wasn’t even amara imani that he felt so strong about. it was the woman behind the music that had made her way into his heart and made it her home.

he was brought back from his thoughts when vitinha gasped and ousmane let out a loud sigh as they were met with the sight of amara in a beautiful silver bikini dancing. kylian chuckled at the way he

“you hit jackpot with her,” achraf told him, punching him lightly on the arm. he couldn’t hide his grin this time, only nodding as he thought ahead to when she would be back from the shooting — he couldn’t wait to wrap his arms around her, cuddle her while he showered her in affections and let her know that she was the sun in his universe.

“kylian, does she have a sister?” neymar asked jokingly, laughing.

he didn’t bother to reply, knowing that they were just trying to tease him. but his face grew a bit hot — even thought nothing was visible — when the two women were moving together slowly, their extensions covering their private parts. especially because they seemed to be all in awe.

“toi mon frère, t’as de la chance,” presnel exclaimed, grinning widely. “t’as vraiment étè béni,” he told his friend proudly, who only laughed. he couldn’t help but chuckle at presnel’s and ousmane’s antics, occasionally laughing at his enthusiastic teammates. — you my brother, you’re so lucky

— you were really blessed

as the video came to an end and the music started to fade out, till the screen was abruptly black again.

at first the changing rooms were quiet, with everyone still processing what they had just seen — a masterpiece and a talented genius. and then they all started clapping and whistling for kylian who started laughing.

that they were all fans of her was no secret; it was probably the most obvious thing in the world that the france national team and psg were huge fans of amara imani and even more since they had found out that she was dating one of their own. but what they realized now was that they had never truly seen her in action, in her world.

and between all of them, it was kylian who was wearing the biggest smirk of them all. as his teammates went back to what they were doing, still providing for playful commentary while others packed their things since training was over, he pulled out his phone to text his girlfriend.

INCOMING FACETIME CALL

grinning at his phone, kylian happily waited for amara to accept the call even though he knew she would probably still be on set. she had been eager to release it as it was the proud result of hard work, creativity and teamwork.

kylian remembered the days when she came home tired and exhausted from shooting and learning the choreography and it made him incredibly happy to see how it had all paid off. amara imani was a force to be reckoned with the moment she set her mind to something.

“alors, comment tu l’as trouvé?” amara immediately asked him the moment she saw his face appear on her screen. — so, what did you think of it?

“incroyable. c’était vraiment une belle video.” he replied with a warm smile and amara’s heart swelled at his words, her heart was full of joy and pride. to be honest, every other opinion on her didn’t matter anymore as long as he was okay with it. “but i think i’d have preferred if it was just me who got to see your beautiful body and not the entire world.” — incredible, it was a beautiful video

“are you jealous kyky?” she teased him playfully, laughing as she walked to a bit more private space to talk to him.

“pas du tout. mais je n’aime pas partager ce qui est a moi,” he smirked, amara’s eyes growing wide. she loved when he was possessive about her in that way — a healthy way where he just showed how not only proud and lucky he was to have her but also grateful. a different kind than evan’s jealousy where it was mostly always about his image. “the beauty of your body is something i’d rather not share with the world.” — not at all, but i don’t like sharing what’s mine

the singer made a mental note to thank god again the minute she finished talking because the luck she got that she wasn’t able to spot a blush — she had truly been a favorite.

they talked a bit, kylian occasionally asking some questions to the shoot before amara even noticed the unusual background. “by the way, i see you’re still at training. did you sneak away to watch the video in private.”

he shrugged nonchalantly. “presnel insisted that we all watch the video. the moment i walked in they were very excited to hear my opinion. he and ousmane have been singing it throughout the entire session.”

once her brain processed what he had just told her and what that meant, amara placed down her phone to hide her face in her hands. “oh mon dieu, don’t tell me that the entire psg team just saw me grinding on cardi b.”

this time it was kylian who laughed loudly. “je viens de te dire que tout le monde t’as vu nu et là seule chose qui t’inquiète ce que mes coéquipiers ton vu nue?” — i just told you that the entire world saw you naked and the only think that’s worrying you are my teammates?

“how am i supposed to look them straight in the eyes anymore? what if your coach saw it? or your parents,” she asked panicking, cringing at the fact that his teammates had watched her sing about sex while practically grinding on cardi b.

if he hadn’t attired the entire attention before he had now when he laughed loudly again, his laughter infectious as a small smile grew on amara’s lips. “mon amour, you don’t have to be embarrassed. they loved it. honestly, you should have seen ousmane trying to mimic your moves. it was hilarious. and antoine sent me a three minute long voice message to fangirl about the song.”

“i forgot they’re my biggest fans,” she replied as her embarrassment slowly faded.

“sometimes i feel like i’m dating them with you with the way they’re fangirling about you.”

“t’es encore jaloux?” she asked him mischievously, her tone teasing. — you’re still jealous?

he chuckled, rolling his eyes at her playful antics. “i already told you, i’m not jealous. i just don’t like sharing,” he insisted amusingly, laughing.

“LES GARS, KYKY IS ON THE PHONE WITH HIS AMARA!” presnel suddenly yelled into the changing rooms, putting all attention on the couple again.

“amara is on the phone?” neymar asked confusingly as presnel grabbed kylian’s phone out of his hands and showed it to the others.

“rend moi mon téléphone,” kylian demanded instantly, trying to get it back but marco stopped him from doing so. — give me my phone back

amara watched as the phone got passed from person to person before it ended in achraf’s hands. “where are you at the moment?” he asked, confusingly not recognizing the environment.

“not even a hi or a good morning? achraf, i’m disappointed. and that after kylian just vouched for you,” amara teased him as he rolled his eyes still she saw his lips curve up.

“hi amara. good morning to you even though it’s already past four,” achraf went along, making them all laugh. “so where are you?”

“still on set currently in new york. we wanted to celebrate for the video. i was told you were very impressed by it.”

achraf snickered. “ousmane nearly twisted his ankle trying to recreate your dancing. sadly we’re not as talented as you. you mastered the art of dancing.”

“les gars, redonnez moi mon téléphone,” kylian tried to get his phone back but he might as well have yelled at deaf people as his demands weren’t even acknowledged. instead, achraf passed the phone to presnel. — guys, give me my phone back please

“alors amara, après avoir vu cette video. faut quand même que tu nous dises comment kylian a fait pour te draguer?” presnel inquired which made amara’s grin only widen. “parce toi tu n'es pas sur son niveau.” — so amara, you really gotta tell us how he managed to bag you because after that video…

her cheeks were probably hurting from all the times she had laughed today as she talked to them. “i’ll take that as a compliment.”

neymar, who stood next to them with a wicked grin, waved at her. “if it isn’t meu artista favorito. so, when can we expect the next one?” — my favorite artist

“and preferably more child friendly. i think we know enough about kylian’s fetishes now.“ he joked playfully, referring to amara’s song rocket that had been just as exclusive.

“well, you know me. never missing a chance to embarrass our dear kyky,” she replied cheekily, grinning as she could just imagine kylian’s reaction at the moment.

“soo…” presnel began, wiggling his eyebrows as his tone turned more suggestive. “does our kyky take you for a ride every night?”

“or is it you who pulls up on him?”

her eyes widened as she nearly choked, coughing hard while she tried to take a breath. needless to say, the question had taken her off-guard. and the reaction she had shown had made the entire team laugh.

“has he shown you his wild side yet?

groaning, kylian rolled his eyes at his teammates. “mais arrêtez. redonnez-moi mon téléphone,” he demanded again, trying to grab his phone but ousmane managed to avoid his hand every time. — stop it please, just give me my phone back

“ton copain lâ est insolent,” ousmane complained jokingly, knowing that kylian would be even more riled up. “you didn’t answer our questions. has our kyks finally shown you his wild side?” — your boyfriend is getting really annoying

amara laughed. “all i can say is that i’ve finally seen his true colours.”

his teammates let out a round of whistles, wooing while presnel proudly clapped kylian’s shoulders.

“i think we should invite her to our next fifa night, show her how much her guy is lacking when he’s not on the ground.” neymar teased, knowing how sensitive kylian was about that topic.

amara snorted, stifling a laugh as she rejected their ideas. “désolée but i am not interested in your fifa-skills and as for kylian, even ethan manages to beat him,” she retorted sassily as the guys laughed loudly around her. they would tease the shit out of kylian for that, especially because the french striker liked to brag about his skills. “but don’t worry guys, he makes up for his lacking fifa skills in bed.”

wooes were heard all around the changing rooms as kylian begged for the ground to open and swallow him.

as they continued to talk, amara could see kylian become more and more desperate which amused her greatly. “your boyfriend is getting violent. i feel like we should give him the phone back.”

“you could always keep him. he paid me enough to last a year,” she added jokingly, winking playfully at neymar as the three laughed.

she watched as they passed the phone around again till it finally ended in kylian’s hands and she was met with his face again. she could instantly see how worked up he was against his teammates, especially achraf, ousmane and presnel, with the way his eyebrows were furrowed.

“i’m so sorry about them,” he immediately apologized, making amara snicker. “and i am very sorry about those questions. je te sure, même moi je me demande pourquoi je suis ami avec une bande de idiots comme ca.” — i swear, even i ask myself sometimes why i’m friends with this bunch of idiots

“HEY! WE CAN HEAR YOU!” one of his teammates yelled and everyone erupted into laughter again.

“ky, i love your friends,” amara beamed, wiping away some of the tears that had rolled down her face. “you’re so real around each other and they’re funny. i love how supportive they are.”

“can’t even lie about that. but they tend to be annoying very often.”

“please, you would probably cry if they left you alone. the amount of times you text achraf, you would believe you were dependent on him,” amara responded, giggling quietly. “i’m happy that they liked the video. i just wished they didn’t know what it meant.”

he laughed, the two small dips that were practically the origin of their story making their appearance again. “you do know that google translate exists right? they would have found out one way or another.”

her smile fell as she thought about his words before realizing her own stupidity. “true,” she replied quickly, facepalming.

as they continued to talk, with amara telling kylian all about their celebration gathering and the scenes from behind the video, kylian had managed to grab his things and bid goodbyes to his friends, ignoring their teasing and playful comments on his way out.

“by the way, i have a very special question,” kylian began, his tone turning slightly suggestive and playful with a mischievous smile creeping up on his face. “did you actually mean everything you said in that video?”

mimicking his mischievous expression, amara grinned at him. “i guess you’ll have to wait for me to come home to find out,” she answered simply, sending him her biggest smile.

he was lucky. and he had to send brice the biggest gift ever for dragging him out to that bistro that night. it was certainly the least he could do after the latter practically made him meet the love of his life.

— august 2021

one thing was certain. amara imani did not like parties.

and she wasn’t talking about family parties or gatherings because she loved those. no, she was talking about celebrity parties that forced people who spent their entire time digging and leaving nasty side remarks about each other, spend the entire night together. the ones where everyone was smiling at each other while talking behind each other’s back. and she hated those.

and it wasn’t even because she didn’t fit in — she had met plenty of people who had complimented her and told her how they loved her music. no, what really bothered her about those parties was the way everywhere she went, she could not be herself. she couldn’t even count on her fingers anymore how often she had to change personality just to fit someone’s image. and she was really trying. but it was simply overwhelming her.

evan, her latest and first boyfriend, was used to them. he didn’t have a problem, lying people bluntly in their face without even batting an eyelash. (that he would also do that to her, she would learn later). evan loved those parties because it gave him a chance to extend his network. having grown up in environments like those gave him the advantage of knowing how those gatherings worked, what to say and what to keep to yourself.

but amara just felt like an innocent lamb thrown in front of a wolf's cave. she was new to all this. two years ago, she was just a girl going to university and singing as a side hobby when she had time. now she was a rising superstar with some people idolising her and people watching every of her moves with the deepest scrutiny.

and to that she also had to add every of her wrong choices that she had already made. choosing the wrong friends (even though they had a truckload of obvious red flags) was clearly the biggest one. they were textbook fake friends with the way they acted around her and amara didn’t have to eavesdrop on them to know that they were talking behind her back. they were the ones to criticize her the most, harsher than any media outlet. and they were the ones who had led her to evan.

evan, the guy she thought was in love with her. the man who had cheated on her after just a month of dating. the millionaire heir who couldn’t even be bothered enough to ask why his drunk girlfriend was gone and currently having a panic attack in a public bathroom.

instead it was a random guy, who she didn’t recognize, who asked her for the first time a decent human question. “i don’t mean to overstep but are you okay?”

a small sob left her lips as she tried to wipe away her tears to get a better view of the man who had just asked her a question. her mind was blurry with the amount she had drank to forget all the problems that were going on and except his silhouette she couldn’t make out much.

she tried to say something, her mouth opening but all that came out of her lips were small sobs that her body tried to stifle. knowing that she wouldn’t be able to speak one word, she nodded even though it was clear that she was anything but okay.

“are you sure?” he asked again, not wanting to overstep any boundaries before comforting the woman in front of him.

again she nodded even if her heart was screaming no.

“you don’t seem very well.”

she shrugged, swallowing another of her sobs. her life was going down the drain and she couldn’t even admit that she wasn’t fine. her head was spinning and starting to hurt from all this crying but at the same time her brain couldn’t stop and her eyes just wouldn’t go dry. as if she was crying all the liquid of her body.

she contemplated whether she should just stand up and go, leave the man but her body was exhausted from all the tears it had shed. she probably wouldn’t move till and would be forced to be carried out of here.

the least thing she expected though was for the mystery man to rummage through his pockets and hand her a tissue. it wasn’t that she didn’t have the idea of drying her face but it had just been her luck to go cry on the one toilet that did not have any tissue anymore.

she hesitantly accepted it, wiping the tears away and drying her cheeks a bit.

“do you wanna tell me why you’re crying?”

amara sighed, leaning closer to the wall, her head hitting the cold cement. “i would. but i can’t stop crying,” she managed to croak out, quiet sobs interrupting each of her words.

“do you want me to get someone?”

“nope. it’ll probably stop soon. i just drank too much and it’s the alcohol leaving my body through my eyes.”

in a normal situation she would have laughed at her joke now but even that her body couldn’t manage. her drunk-self was always too emotional. her heart lightened though when she heard a short sound, a small amusing snort. at least he could laugh for the both of them.

“you don’t have to worry. it’s not the first time i’m this drunk. i just never remember when it last happened,” amara replied. and she then noticed that she was finally able to form normal sentences again. without sobbing between words every time.

“yeah, i think that’s what alcohol does to you.” he laughed and then crouched down to sit down next to her. as he looked at her, scanning her and memorising every detail of her as if he was scared of forgetting it. even if he knew he would never. “aren’t you cold?” he inquired, remembering the chill air from outside and remarking how the dress she was wearing was not providing her any cover against the wind from outside.

“i was forced to wear this. i’d have chosen another dress if i had been given the choice.”

he contemplated for a moment and slipped his jacket off before putting it over her. his cologne was strong, but it somehow gave comfort and amara instantly felt the warmth spread through her body as she adjusted the jacked over her shoulders.

“that’s a dior jacket. i’m going to ruin it with my tears and makeup and these are not cheap.”

“well, they’re cheaper than a new conscience and mine would never leave me alone if i left a woman crying in the men’s bathroom who’s also freezing.”

“this is not the women’s bathroom?”

he shook his head. “nope, it’s the men’s bathroom.”

“are you sure?”

“very. but don’t worry, practically no one uses it anyway. there’s one that is closer so everyone forgets about this one.”

she nodded, a small ‘hmm’ leaving her lips.

“is this your first gala?”

“nope. you?”

“no but i tend to avoid them if i can.” that was new for her. she hadn’t met one person tonight who seemed not excited to be here. no one to share that feeling with and now she had.

“i get that. it’s not really my scene.”

“mine neither.”

silence again. their eyes were just staring at the ceiling, who knows what was going on in their brains this time.

“how long till you would have finally snapped?” he then asked.

“i would have probably lashed out to the next person who asked me about my boyfriend again,” amara responded and he noticed the way her body language changed at the mention of her partner.

he sniggered.

“do you have a girlfriend?” amara questioned before taking it back again. “you don’t have to answer. i just realized how random all this is.”

he laughed, making amara feel good about herself. “no. i had one but we broke up. mutual agreement.”

she sighed, her mind flashing back to when she caught evan cheating. “you got lucky. my boyfriend cheated on me.”

“oh, that’s shitty.”

“i know. and the biggest problem is that my friends are all advising me to reconcile with him because it was just a mistake. but i feel like i’m not giving myself enough respect if i just forgive him.”

“you have shitty friends. i don’t really know what to do in that situation but i would tell you: if his only excuse was that he was drunk, then he’s not worth it. you should think about whether the good outweighs the bad enough. and then if you really love him. listen to yourself.”

she managed to smile weakly at him. “that was the first real advice i’ve gotten in days.”

he chuckled. “i was told i could make a very good therapist.”

“you aren’t?”

“i wish i was. would have made my life easier if the entire world didn’t know who i was,” he admitted and amara felt kind of stupid for thinking he wasn’t a celebrity. this was a high class gala and why would they just let random people in there. of course everyone here was known for something.

she stared at the wall. “do you ever wish sometimes you hadn’t made it? that you had just stayed normal and lived the average life?”

that question was certainly her biggest what-if. what if she hadn’t made it? what if beyoncé had never told the world how amazing she was and that she was talented? what if she had just continued to live her life the way it was and pursue her business degree?

“... sometimes. i guess feeling normal again for a day would do me some good. it would make my life much easier at the moment.” he paused. “but at the same time, the only reason why i got where i am today is because i truly wanted it. i knew the risks and the disadvantages of that life and i still worked my ass of to get where i am today. because i truly wanted it. it’s about how much you want it and what you’re willing to sacrifice for it.”

again, another silence pause. amara thought about his words. he was right in many ways but the aspect of sacrifice was bothering her. hadn’t she already sacrificed enough to make it where she was?

“what’s your star job?” he asked her nonchalantly.

“i’m a singer. you?”

“footballer.”

she smiled at him. “we’re quite the pair, aren’t we?”

he smiled at her. they were.

“i always doubt why i’m here,” she confessed, a bit taken back how easy it felt to admit it to the person in front of her when it felt hard to even admit it to her parents. she would never be able to admit it to her influencer friends and she felt way too guilty to talk to liyah about her worries. “the scrutiny of everything, the demands, the way everybody keeps comparing me to people like Beyoncé when i haven’t even reached my own level yet. and all those people judging me for every faux-pas that i do. i feel like i’m suffocating.”

“well, what’s your reason for wanting to make music? what’s the reason that pushed you to become a singer?” he asked her sincerely. amara stared at the wall — she had never even asked herself what had truly pushed her to do it. she had just done it. “let me tell you mine for football.”

“since i was little, all i dreamed of was football. i was this small little boy from a poor neighbourhood and the only thing i wanted to do was play football. soon, it felt like i only lived for it because it was the only thing i practically breathed. i wanted it much more than anything else and i knew what i was giving up when i was accepted to play pro. privacy, normalcy — all those things that i had taken for granted suddenly became a privilege that no money on the world can buy. but football meant more to me. it was my dream and my passion. i wouldn’t give it up for anything on the world. what’s your reason?”

amara cleared her throat. “i wanted to make music. after i hurt my knee in dancing and the doctor said i might never dance again, i needed a distraction so i started singing. i didn’t realise how much that distraction became my passion till i started to forget about dancing. i loved music, writing lyrics, experimenting with it and just singing — it made me happy. and suddenly my dream shifted to making it in the music industry. i wanted people to sing my songs, brighten their day with it. and i didn’t care what i would be losing to make it. because making it outweighed the disadvantages so much.”

he smiled at her. “and that’s why you made it. because you wanted it. you weren’t gifted and born into that environment. you actually wanted it. if making music is the only thing you truly care about than screw what the others think and what the media say. you didn’t come to read magazines but to lighten the world up with your music. and you should focus on that.”

she nodded, not truly knowing what to say. he was right, she didn’t become an artist to entertain the medias but rather her public. and even if it was just one person, it was enough for her to feel like she made an impact.

“did you ever doubt?” she asked him hesitantly. “i mean to be that smart, you must have doubted at some point to become this wise about it. were you ever in this situation?”

he stretched a bit before answering, “i got called up to play for the national team which is like the biggest honour ever for a football player. and during an important competition, i was the last one to take the penalty and i missed which got us out of the competition. and now the entire country hates me and somehow it’s my skin colour they seem to blame.”

she sighed. “that’s the problem with fans. they switch up way too easily. but if it’s any condolence, you said the reason you made it was because football was your passion. and it’s not some racist fake fans that are going to change that. if it makes you feel better, i am your fan. and i don’t care how many penalties you have already missed.”

he laughed. “you don’t even know what club or nationality i’m playing for.”

amara giggled. “i don’t have to, to know that there are not two players like you out there.”

suddenly aware that the two must have already spent an eternity in that room, she stood up, cleaning her dress a bit. “i think we should go back before they start to look for us.”

“yeah we should,” he replied, ignoring the pang he felt when she gave him back his jacket. he didn’t want her to go.”

“i hope you’ll score lots of goals and prove to them that you’re the best.” she turned around, trying to save a bit of her makeup to not raise too many questions.

“and i hope, you’ll make it to the top, no matter if with a boyfriend or fake friends.” he smiled at her one last time and then she was gone as he stared at the mirror.

kylian really wished he had persuaded her that night to leave with him. he would have spared her a lot of pain.

amara being in new york gave kylian time to think their timeline over. but it also opened the door to hidden memories that he thought he had locked away for good. and his and amara’s first encounter was part of that. 

he regretted letting her go that night. they had spent three hours together just for them to act as if it had never happened. he wasn’t mad though. because he knew she was drunk and that the chances of her remembering were low. yet he had still held out hope when he had seen her again at that bistro that maybe, just maybe she could recognize him. but when she hadn’t, he had been okay with that — their story would just begin again. 

he just wished he hadn’t advised her to go back to evan. the pain and tears he could have spared her from by telling her to leave him after he had cheated on her — but on the other hand how should he have known that evan would turn out to be a serial cheater (the worst type of men in kylian’s opinion) and hurt amara more than he would have thought?

there were lots of what ifs in their relationship; some what ifs even to the building of their relation. he didn’t like to believe in paradox universes and the possibility of multiverse but in this case he liked to believe that in another universe, maybe amara had left that night with him. and she would never have had to suffer that way because he would have treated her like a queen. kylian liked to believe that in another universe there was an amara, who did not have to build so many walls around her because she was hurt too often. that she was happy. 

and to say that kylian missed his girlfriend was probably an understatement. even with the many facetime calls they had, the longing for her did not stop or calm down. her absence had been remarked by everyone but he had felt it the most. the scent of cinnamon and vanilla was missing around him and no matter how often he secretly showered with her body wash or used her skincare (a habit he had taken after being forced by her) it just wasn’t the same. 

he sat comfortably on the long white couch that graced his living room, his eyes not leaving the clock above him. excitement and nervosity rushed through his body at the thought that amara would finally come home. come back into his arms that would probably tackle her with cuddles. the bed definitely felt cold and empty when she wasn’t there. 

hours passed and passed as he waited for her message to tell him that she had landed. in the time that he had waited for said message, he had cooked, cleaned his living room, rearranged his wardrobe — all things that amara usually did. and sitting on the couch made him recall all those movie nights they had had or their first lazy sunday where he had managed to burn an egg. they had left memories everywhere, symbols and anecdotes of their love story. 

a soft yellowish glow cast a warm light over the apartment as kylian extended his legs to get more comfortable. it had been a long day for him and the rushed feelings he had felt throughout the day because he anticipated her return so much had clearly exhausted him. next to that, training had been much more demanding as they were facing newcastle in the champions league next week and they needed to win. 

it was past nine when tiredness finally overcame him and his eyelids closed without him even noticing. despite his best efforts to stay awake and pick amara up from the airport to truly welcome her home, his fatigue made it first to him, his breathing steady as he fell into a light sleep. 

thirty minutes passed with kylian sleeping before the door of his apartment silently opened and a very tired but happy amara stepped in, her suitcase trailing behind her. her heart grew twice its size when she saw kylian asleep on the sofa, his phone still in his hands. like kylian, amara had also been suffering under their separation, missing him deeply. no hoodie or sweatshirt that smelled like him could make up for the coldness she woke up to in those past few days and she had learned that the hard way. 

she was tired, very tired, but still her mind felt alive as she let herself quietly in, making sure to not wake the french striker up. the way he laid so peacefully on the couch, sleeping calmly, amara felt butterflies storm her stomach again and her knees going weak. a small smile formed on her lips at the sight of him wanting to stay up just for her arrival. she pushed her suitcase to the side, careful to not wake him before staring at the image in front of her again. it was just the perfect domestic scene. 

it didn’t last long though as kylian began to stir. his sleep had only been light and the moment he his nose had picked up a faint smell of cinnamon and vanilla with a hint of vanilla, he had immediately been reminded of home. and that could only mean one thing — amara was home. the typical scent that usually greeted him when he came home from training and his body immediately relaxed because it was comfortable. 

he blinked a bit, his eyes accustoming to the light before his view got clear and he was met with the sight of his girlfriend. there she was in front of him, dressed in sweatpants and in his hoodie with her hair quickly brushed back and somehow she was even more beautiful than kylian remembered. 

“t’es la,” he muttered quietly under his breath, stretching his head. 

“i took an earlier flight. i wanted to surprise you,” she replied in the same low voice, leaning down to press a soft peck on his lips. god, how she had missed him and being close to him. “tu m’as tellement manqué.”

“viens ici,” he pulled her closer, his arms immediately engulfing her into a hug and warmth spread through their bodies. the feeling of safety and comfort was back. 

it was sweet the way both realised they gone through the same things, the same weird syndromes. amara had come home earlier because she had missed him so much and both couldn’t bear to be apart any longer. anticipation and longing faded away as they hugged but love still grew. 

“were you waiting for me?” amara questioned quietly, intertwining her hands as they laid down on the sofa. 

“i wanted to pick you up, welcome you home,” he replied sleepily, his grip tightening around her to keep her close to him. she turned around to softly peck his lips again. 

she smiled softly at him. “t’es adorable,” she commented in the same tone, sleep starting to come over her too. “can we watch the frog princess? i want to see a disney movie.”

“the frog princess again?” the french striker groaned lightly, hiding his face in her neck. 

“how can you say no to tiana’s beignets?” amara asked him jokingly, knowing that kylian knew she just wanted to see prince naveen. “and it’s been so long since we watched disney.”

his eyebrows furrowed slightly, not particularly in the mood for a disney movie. even if he wouldn’t admit it, he had taken a liking to her 90s and 2000s rom-coms but all he wanted for the moment was to cuddle his girlfriend. and watching the frog princess would mean he would have to share her attention with ‘the prince naveen’.

“the only reason you want to watch this is because you want to eye prince naveen,” kylian teased her, a slight sarcastic undertone as he put the remote out of reach for her to grab it. 

amara snorted. “you’re saying that as if that’s something to be ashamed of. i’ll proudly stare at prince naveen and his hot face.”

“so you want to watch a move to watch a hot animated guy while your real hot boyfriend is laying next to you?” he retorted sarcastically which earned him a small nudge on his arm. 

it was late, way too late to start a movie now and all kylian actually wanted was to fall asleep with her in his arms. after sleeping the entire week to a cold, empty space next to him his heart paced quicker at the thought of waking up again with her next to him. 

and at the same time, he knew how much disney movies meant to her. she had explained it to him as a symbol of her childhood, where they were the first movies she had ever watched because back then it had been all they could afford. and if it made her happy right now — who was he to deny her from being happy? he was fine as long as she was wrapped in his arms. 

he rolled his eyes, a faint, fatigue-plagued smile tugging at the corners of his lips, as he pressed the remote to open disney + and find the movie. “next time, i get to choose,” he muttered, secretly smiling at the way amara’s face lit up. she cuddled into his chest, warmth spreading through her body, but not without pressing one last tender kiss on his cheek.

kylian reached for the remote again and started the movie, the room instantly lightening up as the title sequence began, with the famous disney castle intro illuminating their screen. as the movie began to play out, starting with melodious tunes and the film’s soundtrack, kylian found himself falling asleep again. 

with amara’s faint scent of cinnamon and vanilla, that so often reminded him of home, the comfort and warmth that he usually felt around her was back and their safe space around each other was restored again. 

without even realizing, his eyelids suddenly felt heavier than before and whenever he blinked, his eyes stayed close for an extra second. amara was too invested into the movie to notice the way kylian was falling asleep but she would be lying if she said that she wasn’t fighting off fatigue too. especially because just like for kylian, feeling safe around each other and a comforting atmosphere were the best conditions to sleep in. 

kylian had fallen asleep a long time ago when amara’s brain finally succumbed to her body’s demand to sleep. the soft glow of the tv screen along with the yellowish glow of the light painted their faces, still cuddled together on the couch. amara reached for the remote to turn off the tv before she turned to face kylian who was sleeping peacefully, his breath steady and calm. 

“je t’aime tellement,” amara mumbled sleepily, placing a soft kiss on his forehead before she also fell into a deep slumber her body very much needed. after several days or longing and sleeping next to the cold spaced in their beds, they were very happy to have each other back. especially when they knew that this would last for eternities. as kylian liked to say “nous deux, c’est pour l’éternité.”

[blindmagdalena]

Although he's not truly a Nazi the way Stormfront was, we do see many times throughout the show that Homelander is a bit of racist, especially towards Hispanics. I mean, he doesn't like it when he hears Ryan speaking Spanish, and all his interactions with Supersonic were so, uh, uncomfy, to say the least.

HOWEVER, Homelander is willing to overlook anything when he gets emotionally involved with someone. Like how he's always rambling on about supes being the superior race while at the same time lowkey worshipping Madelyn.

How do you think he will react to dating a Latina? I can see him being a major asshole at the beginning, complaining about her putting on Latin music while in the penthouse, and cooking "weird food". But slowly and almost unwillingly he gets dragged into the culture.

Like, her brothers and cousins adopt him and suddenly he's the guy who goes to parrillada every Sunday to hang out with his amigos, playing domino and watching freaking soccer. They nickname him "El Casas" and teach him how to speak Spanish but the type that's only spoken deep in the guetto and has grandmothers clutching their pearls.

He starts watching Soap Operas with his girlfriend ironically but then gets weirdly into them to the point that he's crying his eyes out every other episode. He also starts calling her mami/mamita and his mommy kink gets like ten times worse. Which is fine by her because she's been calling him papi rey (king daddy) in her mind since the moment she laid eyes on him.

Once they finally go public, Homelander is all but embraced by the Latino community and it makes his ratings go through the roof because America's Dad speaking perfect Spanish and dancing Salsa in his girlfriend's livestreams is the best representation they've ever gotten. His fanbase drastically changes ofc. Stormfront would be rolling on her grave, I just know it.

Forgive me if this is weird, I'm just a sad latina who's dying for representation in Homelander x reader stories.

GIRL YOU GOT ME INVESTED. i was pulling out the popcorn by the end of this!! tell me you’re gonna write this! it’s not weird at all, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to see yourself represented. i’ve had this conversation a couple of times, and i can guarantee you’re not alone in wanting this: there’s an audience waiting!

i always tag @irenadel in these (which I hope she isn’t tired of lol) because her fic Pygmalion is the only one that i know of so far that leans into this, so you should definitely check it out if you haven’t already. i happen to have insider info that she’s working on the next chapter 👀

really and truly though, it sounds to me like you have the makings of a killer fic lined up in your mind. you clearly have a solid understanding of Homelander’s psychology, too. i really think you could do something awesome with this! it’s important that people tell these stories, and i’m not always the right person to do that.

i would 100% read the heck out of this. 🖤

[wisecrackingeric-2]

SPOILERS FOR SEPERATE WAYS UNDER CUT N O T OPEN IT IF YOU DONT WANNA SEE EM!!!!!!!!

Here’s my little tiny exploration of Luis’ character because it is my god-given duty to pull him apart and analyse him

• Ok so first off………. THE OPENING SCENE??????????? Oh my god there’s S O MUCH TO TALK ABT. Yes Luis dancing is hot as SHIT but also???????? He was about to get TORTURED and MURDERED and he STILL decided to have fun with it and do a lil dance?????? That’s so!!!!!!!!!! He wants to live out his fantasies right until the end!!!!! He truly does think his confidence can get him anywhere!!!!!!! And then when the dance ends he’s READY TO FISTFIGHT THE MONKS?????? NO WEAPONS HES FULLY ABIUT TO GO FISTFIGHT THEM???? He KNOWS it’s a loosing battle but he’s gonna fight tooth and nail to the very end!!!!!!!!!!!

• Also when he turns to face the person who was also dying in the cell and says “this next dance is for you brother” and we get a close up of his face……….. god it hurts to know that that was a person. Somebody who was beautiful in their own right and maybe even somebody who meant something to Luis. Even in the face of death Luis sees the beauty in it ARGHGAGWHSGSB

• Also also I’m sure SOMEBODY could find meaning behind the Flamenco (somebody more knowledgeable in Spanish culture than me) but I’ve heard some people say it symbolises capture and death???? CAPCOM HOW DARE YOU HURT ME SO

• I LOVE that we get to see a more relaxed side of Luis around Ada and less of his flirtiness and damn. It’s so obvious he and Leon are in Love. He’s trying soooooooo hard to impress Leon every time they talk by being super flirty with him and then whenever he’s with Ada he’s a total nerd he’s soooooooooooooo in love w that blonde twink

• GODDAMN THAT FIRE SCENE. WHAT I S N T THERE TO TALK ABOUT??????? First of all the paralells between his childhood where he watched his grandfather die in a fire?????? Also he FULLY RAN INTO A BURNING BUILDING AND ALMOST DIED J U S T TO GET LEON HIS MEDICINE????????????? HE CARES ABOUT LEON SM I WANNA RIP SOMETHING APART. He didint wanna see Leon die in the same way his Grandfather did because he couldn’t save his Grandfather back then!!!!!!!!!!! He wants to make things right!!!!!! HE WAS LITERALLY ON HIS HANDS AND LNEES CRYING I CANT I CANT

• Also ADA CARES ABT LUIS SM,,,,,,,, SHE RAN INRO A BURNING BUILDING TO SAVE HIM AND MAKE SURE HE DIDINT DIE,,,, THE BESTIES EVAH

• godDAMN that scene where Luis heals Ada?????? I LOVE that we see him hesitate for a good solid few seconds on wether or not he should run away from her or stay,,, wether or not he should go back to his usual habits of running away from the people he loves or stay to help,,,, ANS HE STAYS TO HELP BECAUSE HE CARES ABY ADA AND ALSO??? ADA BEING LIKE “leave me here……… besides…… you’ve got a promise to keep……..” OOOOOOOUGGHHH SHE KNOWS,,,, SHE KNOWS HOW MUCH LEON MEANS TO HIM I CANNOG RN also that lil apothecary thing he had was sooooo gender of him

•OH MY GOD HIS DEATH SCENE WHERE HE CALLS HER?????????????? I don’t remember EXACTLY what he said and I’d have to comb through like hours of footage to find it again but,,,,,. THE FACT THAT HE CALLED HER TO SAY GOODBHE????? HE CARES ABOUT HER RIGHT UMTIL THE END?????? AND HE CALLS HIMSELF HER ‘Good Samaritan’ IN THE SAME WAY HE CALLS HIMSELF DON QUIXOTE TO LEON AOAOAISAUJSSOSISKS,,,,,, and then he’s like “sorry I’ve gotta go Leon needs my help ;)” OUGH,,,,, I’m gonna reference another post from my mutual but it’s so sad that Luis got to spend the rest of his life with Leon but not the other way round………………..

• I’m so glad we got to see more of Luis and more of his personality when he’s not tryna swoon the blonde twink he’s in love with BXNSBEHEJXIAIS he feels like such a deep and real human being especially whenever he interacts with Ada and I just,,,,,,,,,, sigh. He’s my favourite character for a reason. 10/10 no notes

• Edit: also the parallels between Luis calling himself Ada’s ‘Good Samaritan’ and Leon his Sancho like AAAAAAAAAA???? You could pick apart the meaning and argue abt how good samaritans are usually friends and Sancho is a code word for Gay Lover in a lot of old fashioned Spanish bars like how ‘friends of Dorothy’ was but ANSNWUENDUNXXUNDDHXN SHUT UP I can’t rn

•Also I’m SURE you could pull some symbolism from the bugs and from Luis having an apothecary as catholic self-exorcism and how ‘science is the roof of all evil’ and Luis is using it to help others etc etc etc……….

Also if anyone else finds anything abt luis lore wise like how you have to find a picture of his grandfather or of him with Umbrella in the original PLEEEEAAAAASSSWE SHOW ME I NEED MORE LUIS BACKSTORY I NEED IT IN MY VEINS

• ALSO ALSO EDIT: the fact that one of the ingredients for his cure are butterfly wings???? And butterflies symbolise CHANGE????? HIS ENTIRE ARC IS ABT CHANCE??????? I’m actually gonna be sick.

[beeoftheanxieties]

So, @da-proti-toku-grem kind of inspired me to make a lengthy post, sharing some positive vibes across the fandom, listing the reasons why I love each member of Joker Out and why I would go full mom-mode on them and cook for them and bake them gluten-free cookies.

Anyway:

A Joker Out, brain-rot, appreciation post

(members listed in alphabetical order)

Bojan

First up - as someone who had the chance to see them live, he is an insane performer

His ability to enchant the crowd is insane and you can tell really well that he has great acting abilities too

Watched him in Gospod Profesor too, spot on for someone who is a so-called amateur

His singing voice is... amazing to say the least, it feels really unique

Also, the way he talks, the sound of his voice, the words he uses, his pronunciation, if there were awards for talking he would get one

The languages he speaks, I want to study him, linguistically, he is truly a phenomenon

We of course love a bilingual king

He looks like he has his priorities straight

I also respect him so much for how open he is about his mental illness

I might relate to him a bit too much at times whoops

And the fact that he can somehow befriend literally anyone??? Love that

His friendship with Jere is the main one of course

Oh yeah and the fact that he literally helped people who collapsed at their gigs a few times

Bless him, he deserves all the rest he is hopefully getting

Jan

First things first, I have a soft spot for math guys

And the way he talks about math is fascinating (but you still won't get me to like it Jan)

Cat dad???? We absolutely adore Igor and a man loving cats is such a green flag

I know people say he mumbles a bit and it's hard to understand him at times, but idk, he talks nice and slowly, so it's still really easy to understand him

He comes from my home region, so I am very biased haha

Also, every band needs a guitarist with luscious locks

He absolutely owns the colour red, that colour was invented specifically for him

The nose ring suits him so well too, this man KNOWS what fits him

And if that ends up being jackets with nothing underneath when he performs, THEN SO BE IT

I know people call Kris the lesbian icon, but from what I've seen lesbians are very drawn to Jan as well

Oh, and he gives me Klaus from the Umbrella Academy vibes (I blame the hair and the pink boa)

Jure

Holy shit, sunshine in human form????

The most underappreciated one in the band imo

His surname literally means 'cat' and I am so normal that Jan has called him 'muca'

He also comes from my region haha, bias again

He's really good at filming, he actually shot a few things for RTV (national TV station) and edited them as well, god, talent

Also playing drums... I have sang, I have played guitar, played bass, but drums is something I feel like I could NEVER do, so hats off to you

As @da-proti-toku-grem pointed out, THE MOLE ON HIS LIP? weak knees, yes

He also reminds me of a good friend of mine and I vibe with him so much, I feel like I would vibe with Jure as well

I really don't like the fact that drummers tend to get ignored and I just wish there was more Jure performing content

Though I love it how every time, during Novi Val, he comes to the front and hangs with the others

His hair also looks so soft and fluffy aaaaaa

Again, biased but he resembles my bf the most out of everyone so hmmmm

Kris

The baby of the band! (and the only one in the band I could actually call 'mulc')

In case you didn't know yet, he's half Dutch

And he speaks Dutch, which, as someone who speaks Dutch (in theory, not in practice) makes me really happy

I wish to study him linguistically as well

Also his parents' story feels very close to me, as I'm dating outside of my culture as well

According to him he was menace as a kid and I think we should normalise the fact that you can become a better person as you grow up

But pls don't honk at me on the road Kris, pls, I will cry

The songs he wrote??? NGVOT and Vse kar vem??? Oh boy, I love them, adore them

His holey sweaters are also a vibe

Dutch fans, if you don't shower him and the rest of the band with gifts at their Dutch concerts, I will be mad

Also gotta honorably mention Maks

They gotta be my fav nepo-but-not-really babies out there

Kinda like Maya Hawke?

I am ranting

He also looks like the only member of the band that I would fight, and idk why

Also, I must know if he supports Max Verstappen haha

Minus points for chemistry though, I cannot with that

Nace

Okay everyone

Here we go

We have reached my beloved

I love all of them, but Nace just a bit more

It was love at first sight, I cannot lie

I have a soft spot for bassists and he might actually convince me to try and play bass again

He has been playing it for so long too??? like wow

Oh and of course; THE TATTOOS, BLESSETH BE THE TATTOOS

I will always go feral about his tattoos

At every concert

I know he was the last to join the band but it looks like he fits in so nicely, it's beautiful

Strong mom-codded dad friend vibes

He kinda is the dad of the band haha

And he looks like he gives amazing hugs (lucky all of you who had managed to get one already)

A nice addition to the band

Oh and he's apparently shit at sports which is like... felt

Plus the fact that he wanted to be a vet?

Me too boo, me too, but neither of us is there now

Anway, I'll stop now. In conclusion, this band has my whole heart and they deserve every good thing that happens to them and so much more.