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#and dont be fucking mean i'm not trying to start shit
syresdcthings · 23 hours
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People ashamed of shipping brutal Batjokes... dont be. Its amazing.
I just decided to rebinge some comics and holy shit. I never processed just how fucked up Joker was in his early days, and he was still working out all his kinks. He wasn't making these big flashy plans to get Batmans attention, no, this was when he was truly killing for the purpose of wanting to.
Brave and the bold (2023) is a good example for what I'm trying to show here. The shit Joker does in that is crazy and it goes in DETAIL.
I mean he beats the living crap out of Batman, since he's also figuring out his own act at this point. Everyone is clearly petrified of this guy and Batman should just wanna throw him into a dingy cell to suffer for the crap he did. But he doesn't want to! Instead, he finds himself trying to find that high from the altercation at the bridge again, the one where he was trembling in his armour and death was staring right at him.
Joker didn't fall inlove first. Batman did.
Bruce doesn't just want Joker to suffer, he wants to suffer with him. He wants them to fight, to roll around on cold wet concrete and claw at eachother until they are both red and it'll be the most intimate thing Batman has experienced. Being smothered with someone else's blood, a body underneath him, breath just as laboured as his own.
And he'd lean down, probably. Checking his heartbeat, as if he couldn't see he was alive from the way his pupils grew 10 sizes. And then he'd relax his muscles, but it'd be such a little change you wouldn't be able to tell, but Joker would. And he'd push the Bat off of him, and he'd run away, and it'd start all over again.
Edit: just wanted to say that the, "Being smothered with someone elses blood, body underneath him, breath just as laboured as his own." Segment was supposed to be read like "Being drenched in the blood of a body underneath me that is still alive and breathing just as hard as i am." As in, Batman takes pleasure in being able to beat Joker raw but have his heart still beating underneath him. He loves getting him specifically to the brink of death whilst still not losing sleep over it (unless ofcourse he finds a bit TOO much pleasure in it.)
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scarrletmoon · 7 months
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okay i know the Discourse™️ has been going on for way too long at this point, but
i think some people outside of the OFMD fandom don’t actually get why we’re particularly annoying about this show
OFMD is not the first queer show to ever exist. if anything, it's a late entry in decades of queer media. over a year and a half since the first few episodes aired, everyone knows that OFMD is queer. that doesn't make it particularly special
but back in March? this is the trailer that dropped in February of 2022, 2 weeks before the premier. if you're used to seeing queer chemistry in shows that aren't intended to be queer, you might see the hints between Ed and Stede here. but to most people? it's just a silly little pirate comedy. just guys being dudes. the trailer doesn't even hint at the other 2 canonical queer relationships in the show -- the closest it gets suggesting romance is the music and the pink in the poster
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so when people watched this show in March 2022, they went into it expecting subtext and nothing else. to them, it was like watching Sherlock or Supernatural or Merlin in the 2010s. if you were in any of those fandoms -- especially Sherlock and Supernatural -- you know what it was like; constant jokes at our expense, being mocked for creating explicit fanwork, made fun of by the creators and within the show itself. if we saw queer subtext, that was our problem. this was a time when you pretended NOT to be in fandom, for fear of ridicule. we kept our fanwork to ourselves, we DID NOT share it with the cast, and we accepted that our favourite ships would probably never be canon. maybe one day, if we were lucky, we'd have a show where the subtext wasn't mockery as much as deliberate foreshadowing -- but that had to be YEARS away
right?
OFMD was never billed as a queer show, not in the beginning. there was no LGBTQ+ tag on (HBO) Max, it wasn't on anyone's list of upcoming queer shows in 2022, it flew under the radar through most of its first season. this was a show about pirates, and sure, some of them were queer. but not the LEADS. if you think they're romantically involved, that's must be fandom brain poisoning
except the 9th episode aired, and they kissed. and the show said "you're not crazy for thinking they have chemistry because they really do. it's been a romance this whole time". and in the 10th episode, Stede realizes that he's in love
(not mandating you watch this clip if you don't care for the show, but there's something that feels particularly earth shattering about no one saying the word gay but knowing that Stede's realizing he is, that it's completely unambiguous and explicit in a way that only straight romances are usually allowed to be)
this is why people freaked out about this show. no one knew. even the creator, David Jenkins, was surprised when WE were surprised that it was gay for real -- he set out to write a love story, using all the tried and true beats of a rom com. he'd never even heard of the term queerbaiting. he looked at historical Blackbeard and Stede Bonnet and thought "oh, there's something here" and just...wrote that, with very little fanfare, like it was inevitable. like it was obvious. of course Jim and Pam end up together. of course Buttercup and Westley end up together. what kind of disappointing ending would it be if You've Got Mail ended with the main characters just going their separate ways?
so of course Ed and Stede are in love
look, i get it. we're annoying and won't shut the fuck up about this show that seems mediocre at best. i watched the whole thing back in march, thought "huh, that was cool" and was sure that i'd forget about it in a few days
an hour after looking at fanart on twitter, i was lost in the fucking sauce
there's just so much to unpack from a mere 10 episodes. it covers racism, toxic masculinity, gender expression, sexuality, trauma and abuse. and i don't think we should overlook the fact that the non-white characters in this show get to be fully human in a way i haven't seen in my favourite shows in recent memory
additionally, most OFMD are 25 or older. we're not people who've been spoiled by queer rep, who don't get how hard it used to be, how you'd have to grovel for scraps, how shipping and fanfiction was a way to find queer rep where we thought there never would be. we've been here. we're annoying about this show because for a lot of us, it's the first time we've been treated like our queerness isn't an anomaly that needs to be relegated to its own section, that needs to be praised for the bare minimum of acknowledging that we exist. it's not pulling punches to avoid scaring away a straight audience. it just is.
OFMD for me is like when i watched Black Panther for the first time and realized that this is what white people felt all the time. have there been other black superhero movies? of course! does Disney fucking suck? BOY does it. but that was the first time i got to sit in a movie theater and watch a mainstream film that looked at Africa and said "look at how beautiful you are, exactly as you are"
and idk. i think that's really cool
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tori-artemis · 2 years
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I don't usually make posts when I'm upset about something (or like, at all) but honestly I'm just. Really sick of the Loki fandom as a whole. Like I'm just tired of all the pettiness and bullshit. And tbh it's on both ends of the Loki series/Ragnarok split. Both pros and antis.
This isn't so much a vague post as it's a vent post for me. You see, I've been having these feelings about the Loki fandom overall for months now, and I've seen certain posts from the positive side where I just want to - jump in and say something, or at least speak for myself as an ""anti"" (hate that word btw) bc the amount of generalizing I've seen that goes on over there wrt ppl who dislike the show is just - well it's fucking frustrating. Like it annoys me bc I've heard every dumb overgeneralization since the show first came out, from not wanting Loki to move on bc we're oh-so-traumatized to we're just bitter bc the show didn't go the way we wanted/our hcs of Loki weren't validated, etc.
I think one that annoyed me the most was the claim that ppl who hate/dislike Sylvie as a character do so out of misogyny. And like - maybe there's some truth there wrt how the character/actress tend to be bombarded with gendered slurs, and yes that's not cool, but I've never referred to Sylvie or Sophia as any slur. (In fact I don't even hate Sylvie - what I do hate is how the writers have set her up as a "superior" contrast to Loki, which to me seems very intentional on their part, particularly wrt the Trauma Olympics™ as in "Sylvie had it so much harder" 🙄 - but I digress). Yet I can't help but feel like I'm being lumped in the "antis are misogynists" bin every time I read any of those posts from the pro side, simply bc I dislike the way a character was utilized. The way those posts are written, the way they sound - it's very black and white, overgeneralizing an entire group of fans, there's no nuance or side notes or disclaimers of "hey - I know not all of y'all are like this, this is just about some I've encountered" - not even in the tags, nothing. And I've just wanted so badly to jump in and say: "hey, anti here and I'm not like that" but I refrain, bc I've grown so tired of all the fandom infighting and discourse that I usually don't have the energy to get into it. So when I see someone from that side of fandom jump on a post and say how they dislike being overgeneralized as a fan, and how they feel like they're being misrepresented, or condescended to... I can't help but feel kinda upset by that, ngl. Part of me just wants to say "yes it sucks, but recognize that your side (if not you yourself) does it too. Some of you folks do it too."
Like I've read posts implying/stating that antis who hate the show lack critical thinking skills - and like, look, there might be a bit of truth wrt, say, calling Sylvie an outright abuser (and even I've been a little guilty of agreeing to view her as a person with toxic traits as opposed to the enemy-to-lovers trope she clearly falls into - tho I still can't really fault myself for not being able to take that romance seriously due to how damn rushed and forced it felt - but that's besides the point). But there's just something about the way a lot of these posts are worded, like yes some posts are pretty reasonable, but others are practically dripping with condescending sentiment (for lack of better words) as if we're fucking stupid for having emotional reactions to media as opposed to critical reactions, when isn't that the point of media and art, to illicit emotions? Like yes, the story might be trying to say something (and it might epically fail in doing so, which is how I view the show overall) but it's also meant to move ppl. And if it fails to do so, or it garners an unintended reaction, or the characterization is too inconsistent or the story telling itself is rushed/filled with inconsistencies then can you really blame fans for, well, being blindsided by disappointment/their emotions as opposed to critically analyzing it? And yes I know this is a matter of opinion, but still.
(Like sometimes a story can be extremely well written overall, and very well thought out and fans will just be oblivious to, choose to ignore or even outright refuse to pick up on the symbolism within a story, or the internal motivations/conflicts within a character, or how a character progresses/character arcs in general. Sometimes fans will even completely and intentionally misread a character in their entirety, and the role they play within a story, no matter how skilled and how excellent the writing is within a piece of art. And sometimes fans will just overall fail to realize the major themes/hints that a writer carefully lays out. Yes this is a thing, and one I've been made aware of in the particular fandom that I'm about to join.)
But then there's stories that are just... lazily/half-heartedly written at best, and so I just don't understand where pro stans get off by being condescending to ppl like me who just couldn't be immersed due to all those flaws in storytelling. Especially when I didn't get enough out of it to even see where a lot of these conclusions fans seem to have drawn from it. Like there are some inconsistencies within the story itself, there are things that just don't make a whole lot of sense, there are many contradictions, I didn't just make them up. And again I know, everyone interprets media differently, but I don't really see what a lot of pro fans have taken from the series, bc I personally don't think its there. And I really don't appreciate being thought of as some kind of imbecile for not "getting it" when the media in question is, objectively... not all that great tbh. And I'm being absolutely neutral when I say that, like I'm literally not even hating here.
And like I could've easily have turned around and made a bunch of posts stating how pro fans are "stupid" for putting so much thought into a piece of media I personally find to be stupid or just lacking in general, but I haven't. Bc one: that's a shitty thing to do to ppl, and two: it wouldn't even be true bc so many ppl who I consider very intelligent have enjoyed this show, and do put a lot of thought into analyzing it, so despite me not really seeing where they're coming from I want to respect that. And look, it's not like I haven't had those presumptuous thoughts or knee jerk reactions, bc yeah I am in an echo chamber too, and I'm no saint - I'm definitely human and I've had some overgeneralized, uncharitable takes. But I recognize this about myself, I don't post that shit. Which is why I get so upset when I see so many other fans do just that.
Also there is a definite misuse of the depiction of torture, which is used to convey certain themes, and that's very unfortunate, and IMO very bad writing/storytelling. I probably would've been a little more charitable towards the series overall if the Sif-beatdown timeloop scene had been scrapped altogether like the writers seriously should've considered doing (due to the fact that torture has so many misconceptions and is grossly excused in the majority of media which has unfortunate real world consequences) and instead focus more on Loki confronting his fear of being alone, if that truly is what the intention for that scene was. Like yes, some antis might go overboard wrt the messaging within the show, but when it comes to things like the atrocious time loop scene... that's not a made up thing we just happen to pull out of nowhere, that's something the writers put in there and therefore, yeah that's pretty fucked.
Then on the other side I'll find myself liking a post from a negative series fan bc I'll agree with the overall sentiment of it, only to unlike it right after reading the tags bc they've said something like "ppl who like this show/movie/etc are stupid" or "if you ever defended or even enjoyed TR fuck you" - and like??? WTF. I understand disliking the show or whatever but why the hell would you brush over an entire group of real, actual people as "idiots" for simply liking a piece of media??? Like - do I think the show was a disjointed mess? Yeah, I do. Do I think it was poorly written? Yes. Do I even think the reasoning behind a lot of these writing decisions was really fucking stupid on the creators part (or at the very least, that they failed to convey their ideas clearly)? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean anyone who's ever enjoyed the show is stupid for doing so, and I say this as someone who does have the knee-jerk reaction to go "how could you like that show, it sucked so much!"
But like, at the end of the day I understand that ppl take different things out of media. And just bc you find something so stupid or unwatchable, doesn't mean others will, and that's okay bc ppl are different and have different tastes and IDK how ppl don't fucking get that??? Like why is this even a hot take when it's literally just a fact???
It's shit like this that makes me feel like leaving the fandom all together. Which I don't really want to do, bc despite everything wrong with fandom and despite my own personal disappointment with the latest Loki/Thor franchise installments I still really love Loki as a character, and I still want to write fic revolving him. I even still want to make friends within the Loki fandom bc that's literally why I created this blog in the first place, to befriend other Loki fans, like I could've easily stayed being a lurker within the fandom but regardless I think at this point it's farfetched to want this bc the fandom's just way too split and way too hostile and way too fucking eager to be uncharitable and condescending af. And I'm just tired. I'm just... really really tired of the pettiness, the condescending attitude a lot of fans seem to fucking have for anyone who might think differently from them.
I'm tired of the gatekeeping - on both sides. It's on both sides. Because saying "real Loki fans would never like/defend TR/the show" and "how anyone can claim to be a Loki fan if they hate him/his own show" aren't so far apart from each other, both sentiments basically say the same thing, just from polarized viewpoints.
And I wish more fans would just recognize that.
#Loki fandom negativity#I refuse to tag this as anything else bc this isn't about the show - it's the fandom#look I'm just tired guys#I've been fed up and sick of all the damn fucking pettiness#Maybe I'm being overdramatic here#But in my defense I too am in the middle of experiencing that time of the month...#(I swear this isn't so much about that particular post as it is about all the other posts and nonsense I've seen#and the disappointment I've had with fandom that's just been pent up inside of me)#I know ppl follow me who are really entrenched in the negativity side who might take offense to this#And while I'm not really trying to offend anyone here I don't really want to go on pretending that I'm not kinda upset by all the -#posts and hot takes and hate bashing of fans/folks who might've actually enjoyed the show - bc yeah I hate that damn show too#but I can't help but feel disappointed when ppl start calling folks ''idiots'' and whatnot for enjoying a piece of media#THIS IS A BOTH SIDES ISSUE AND IM FUCKING TIRED OF IT#ALL OF YOU (GENERALLY) FUCKING GATEKEEP THE FANDOM#BOTH CONDESCEND THE OTHER SIDE AND ITS. FUCKING SHITTY#NO IM NOT A MISOGYNISTIC IDIOT WHO'S INCAPABLE OF CRITICALLY ANALYZING A MEDIOCRE/SUBPAR SHOW#AND NO JUST BC I HATE THE SHOW DOESNT MEAN I WANT TO HATEBASH ANYONE WHO ENJOYED IT#PPL ARENT IDIOTS OR STUPID FOR LIKING/DISLIKING A PIECE OF MEDIA FFS#like even discussing with some friends on discord is frustrating when they say things like ''i judge ppl who like the show''#like no. stop doing that shit. dont condescend others like that#if anyone seeing this feels offended and wants to block/unfollow thats okay#ive already made another blog focusing on a completely different fandom#so im probably going to be dipping out of here soon anyway#i just wanted to get this off my chest before doing so#also i know there are some cool ppl here on both sides/in the middle but im just done#i said i wasnt going to talk about the show but then i just went and did so#loki series criticism i guess#might as well title this post 'How to lose friends and alienate loki fans'#tldr: everyone (generally) in this damn fandom is fucking petty and IM TIRED
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skullzy20 · 10 days
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I am not exaggerating when I say I live with one of the worst cishet men I've ever met in my life and its horrible
Pretty big vent incoming in tags, just a warning. Feel free to scroll past /gen
#sorry i. need to vent#he is genuinely one of the most ignorant; stubborn; and absolutely manchild of a man I've ever seen#I'm not fucking lying when I say he gets pissy and shouts and complains about EVERYTHING#and I don't mean just occasional shouting and getting loud#whenever he's upset. its /loud/. very loud#first time in my 5 years of knowing him I had enough and snapped back at him because he was yelling at me-#-bc I supposedly do absolutely nothing around the house and I take horrible care of myself and dont care about anything#at least in regards to the house#and complains about why I'm deciding not to go to college and that he got a job at 15 while he's literally#in his mid 40's#so.#like.#I told him I'm still 18 and I dont want him to boss around my entire fucking life but he brought up the excuse again of-#-him doing all the shit I SHOULD be doing by his words when he was 15#first of all. like. to get things straight; we are not related at all not even in the slightest#he's my mothers bf; I don't know why he gets so pissy at me about MY life of all things#like Jesus Christ shut up challenge impossible#yeah I had a fun (/s) moment earlier where I went to clean my dish and he started to snap at me about how I-#-walk past the dishes every day while they're piled up and I should do them. meanwhile. they're literally not mine. ever#I get it yeah but. whatever. he kept going onn and on and on and got even more upset with me literally not saying or doing anything to-#-provoke him more#Ig he just doesn't know that!! wow!! I do actually care about my life and future!!!!#and that getting a job is not that easy or the same as it was 30+ fucking years ago!! wow!! who would've guessed!!!!#Like genuinely i am literally trying to get a job rn and shit and have been stressing horribly about it for literal YEARS#but yeah ignore that I guess ok sure buddy#god sorry i.. really hate him. a lot#I dont like to hate on people really; esp if im accustomed to them. but him. he. no <3#I will say I hate him w my full chest#vent#negative post
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spiked-mall-goth · 11 months
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heyyyyyy <3 <3 i feel terrible.
i had planned to stay off longer but i genuinely have had like three nervous breakdowns since i left bc right as i decided it was abt time i just chill for a little bit everything started happening all at once. so i came back to see my silly little internet friends, but like the second i logged back on some ppl were talking smack abt me sooooooooo... ya know. my day (two weeks) be so fine,, then BOOM my entire schedule fills up and i become hollow on the inside! (hey sorry like vent post n tags i need to get things out of my brain)
#spikes rambles#i was happy there for a minute too :<#heres what its looking like rn....#i have three weddings. one of which i am a bridesmaid for and was left to get my own dress#but i cant afford a nice dress that matches. so i have to make one my damn self. and in two weeks.#i have a graduation.. and a graduation party both for different ppl#even tho i had to push back my own graduation by a full year bc things were just not going as planned. and now everyone thinks im a failure#im volunteering to teach at a kids summer camp like thingy. i was supposed to have a partner but i was told that she actually#wants nothing to do with me and was forced into this but i was under the impression that we would be teaching TOGETHER#and not her being an assistant. so now i have to call her and be like heyyyyy what the fuck is going on i need to know the lesson plan#im also volunteering for a church summer thing. if i could i wouldnt be doing this but my self made mother figure asked me personally#to help and i cant say no to this. we get to hang out and i get to paint like murals and shit and we've been doing this together for years#i have to spend the weekend with my bio mother to go to a celtic festival thing bc my younger brother wants to go.#i'm having some pretty severe best friend problems which i am honestly not well equipped enough to deal with and its eating me away inside#summer has officially started here so that means 24/7 headaches and sensory problems. straight up category 5 autism moments#i had to pick up the slack and become a paternal figure to my youngest brother. which is just sad that i have to at all#my dear beloved friend is trying very hard to make a young adult like hangout (???) thing in own town and really wants me to go#but i just dont wanna. i dont really care for social gatherings#hey guys btw all this has happened or was planned for next month in the two weeks i was gone#what the fuck.
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kuiinncedes · 4 months
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fngfdjngjdfkng
#bro fucking stupid like why did i just not look at applying to masters until now#i'm so dumb like ig it was bc i ws just like i'm not gonna do masters im just gonna try to get a job#which like how the fuck am i supposed to do that lmao but#now i dont think i can even apply for masters at my school at least#bc i need fucking letters of rec and the deadline is the 15th#and i Barely have 2 ppl i would ask for letter of rec idek if the second one counts lmfao if she's not at my school#jfc im so why do i have to think about the future :c i just wanna do glowstick club things that's why i haven't been thinkign abt this lmfa#yeah so now i dont think i can do masters here :c which also means i dont have that as a reason to hang around and stay in glowstick clublo#i could still do that but#ugh whatever im trying to write a fucking cover letter rn for a job i hate this already i've barely done anything lmfao#i dont super understand the job description which is maybe a sign i shouldnt apply lmfao but it's like#data science w my year and i feel like i meet some of the qualifications so#just gotta somehow bullshit another paragraph of this cover letter together#i also dont even know if i actualy wanna fucking do a data analyst job like#i kinda wanna work for like a non profit or smaller org kinda thing all this shit sounds hella boring that i keep seeing for bigger#companies lmao which im not saying would no be the case for smaller but#idk i jsigsdfhjlbgpidwurhgbipwdhgfudjshlk why did i start this so late LMAO#i had a job opening that i was gonna apply for that looked pretty good and i felt pretty qualified for just based on the listing#and the deadline was the 15th but it fucking disappeared the job isnt there anymore ig im so sad lmfao#as;lkfngbjifbgqipurgipqhrgfipuaf i hate this :DDDDDD#jeanne talks
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the-acid-pear · 5 months
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I'm hitting rock bottom <- dude whose belly aches so fucking much because he ate pork.
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mieczyhale · 5 months
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one of the guys that runs a reaction channel i've been watching for ages just announced that they're ending the channel next year bc he got a job offer and he's getting married and he's thinking about his family and his future and like...
my son in christ you are 21
i literally want to fucking die
#dont get me wrong! good for him! i'm happy for him#but he really said he started the channel when he was younger (turns out that was 18) and it felt like time to move on#i am 31 and only got the job i love a year and a half ago#i have been dating and living with the same person for... 10 years in 11 days and all i've ever wanted is to get married#(and be a mom but i dont think im ever getting that one but im gonna go ahead and focus on that one zero percent or i'll cry)#i say. like all of this doesnt make me want to cry lmao#i am so incredibly blessed to have what i have. like truly i ended up with the perfect sort of life for my awkward mentally ill ass#but i cannot NOT spiral just a little when people younger than me have the things i want so so bad and then also talk as if their young age#is older than it is. i know you feel mature and older but you are still so fucking young. and okay honestly - now that im rambling - thats#just part of it huh?? i mean a lot of the spiral is actually Wow. I really lost so much of my life (so much time. so many opportunities) to#mental illness and other shit i couldn't control and there are people who didn't fucking have that. there are people who didn't have to#deal with any of that!!! honestly!!! and you just.. dont do anything to prepare for the future when you do not expect there to be one for#so long and then you can't stop fucking everything up and then oh look! you're in your 30s and-#god i cannot fucking do this#it is 1:35 in the morning and im tired but now i feel really stubborn about going to bed. i should. i want to. but also i dont.#actually going to bed is where The Horrors are so#this really was the dumbest fucking shit i think im gonna go to bed & play p.m on my phone and try to be a little less pathetic#maison speaks
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yourbestdream · 6 months
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I generally assume that the phrase "blood boiling" to describe anger is just metaphor and all that but then I get really genuinely angry about something and I remember that it is not.
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scooprtroopr · 2 years
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just think we could all use the gentle reminder that fandom is supposed to be fun!
like you don't need to interact with every post you see, especially if its something you don't agree with, you don't need to be getting into arguments with random people on the internet. in fact you can just scroll past those posts, block those people, just ignore them, you don't have to read shit you don't want to!! and at a certain point if you're like actively just arguing with people on their posts you're just kind of an asshole! idk maybe go outside and touch grass babes
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cassandrattpd · 5 months
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yesterday i had a panic attack at work and sobbed for over an hour at my desk in front of all of my coworkers bc i was frozen to the spot and couldn't like...move myself to a different area at the very least. and i embarrassed the fuck out of myself and now i'm afraid of the new job that i loved 🙃
#i just want to have all the answers and i don't and the more people try to reassure me i'm still just learning the more upset i get!!!!#then i couldnt even come home bc HE was trying to comfort me and tell me the same shit#and its like it doesmt matter that ill eventually get it!!!!!!!! i dont get it RIGHT NOW and right now is what matters if you want me to#start taking incoming calls from clients who want me to explain it TO THEM!!!!#like i understand the basics of our software but i dont understand basic accounting math AT. ALL. which is part of what our software does so#if i get a call about that even if i understand what the software is supposed to do in theory i dont understand the fucking math!!!!!!!#i just look at it and it means NOTHING to me it might as well just be scribbles on a wall#and it doesnt matter to a client if im new and their books are messed up all that matters is that im stupid and cant help them and then i#freeze and therein lies the problem#the expectation is that i 'learn' using real people's real problems as examples and emotionally i cant handle the weight of NOT FIXING#A PROBLEM I'M EXPECTED TO FIX#my trauma response relies heavily on 'if i just fix the problem ill be safe' so when i cant fix it i literally revert to fucking infancy#which makes me great at customer service bc I'll go to any lengths to help you!!!!!!! but i dont feel like i have the tools to do that yet#amd i dont know how to explain that to my boss without making me sound even more useless than he is probably already perceiving me after#what happened yesterday
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xxlelaxx · 11 months
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I'm so used to stuff just working out last minute... I'm starting to get worried this time it won't. But I'm sure it will. It will be okay. Like always.
#ignore me#trying to find an apartment...#hope things work out but they are terrible for everyone else and honestly we got lucky with this apartment thanks to connections#but usually everything works out fine for me and we have a good application that we worked hard on#a friend did cause honestly she's an angel but still#i just wanna move closer to my parents#just wish there were more places to live for younger people#everything is too expensive and it's like the world doesnt want you to start a family#and that just makes me so angry cause then they complain about it but instead of making the situation better they just blame people who#dont want kids like they are at fault which is stupid!#my friends are not the problem they are the only hope i have#genuinely they've been so supportive and loving and i know they will love this kid as aunts and uncles and they will be great at it#my baby isnt even here and there are people planning gifts and wanting to start saving money for their future and i know this kid will be#loved and supported by all of us but at the same time I'm angry that the people before us had it so much easier and refuse to make it#easier for us! stop letting others horde the wealth we all need and start actually helping us out#you want kids but are not willing to put in the work for it and quite honestly I'm so fucking sick of it#like instead of building 2 room apartments build something big enough for the big families you want so much but that means missing out on#people to exploit so you lazy fuckers get rich but yeah sure keep pushing your shit conservative views on all of us to protect the same#families and kids that you refuse to support with your shit policies#god this went on a big tangent but in my defense pregnancy hormones are one hell of a trip#and I'm starting to get pissed#and I'm tired#but not tired enough
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two-bats · 1 year
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sooooo sick of my grandfather thinking he can give my stuff away to my uncle & his girlfriend.
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j-esbian · 1 year
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thinking about the time i was criticizing a male fantasy author for not including many female characters (and all but one were incredibly generic) and people were really like "be nice to the author, he's said he doesn't know many women in real life :/" like. yeah i can tell
#mine#delete later#cause im not trying to start shit#it was on tiktok so like all of that tracks lmao. i dont know if that's even true but if so. INSANE.#idk what made me think of this#but my dude if youre in your 40s thats not an excuse#tbh i feel like the book in question would have been completely forgettable and id just kind of roll my eyes and move on#if not for the fact that people whose taste i trust!!!!! recommended it!!!!#like what the fuck. the betrayal#like im still driving myself crazy thinking about it years later and trying to figure out what i'm missing#honestly could not say if the rest of the book was good bc imo the way the narration treated the female characters was too distracting#'this one is Mom. that's her whole personality.'#'this one is the hot older woman but she likes me anyway bc im the specialest smartest boy in school.#it's weird cause there's barely any women at this school anyway. she even tried to seduce me but im too in love with Main Love Interest'#'this one is the Main Love Interest and she's so pretty and sexy everyone wants to be with her. she has a tragic secret past#she wont tell me why but we cant be together and she also spends most of the book seducing other men. But I Know She Doesnt Mean It#i will learn her secret and wear her down so we can be together because we vibed pretty well a few years ago'#and then there's the cRaZy OnE#and that's it. those are the only female characters#apparently the last one has gotten her own book. maybe that's what people praise this guy for? but i am not willing to give it a chance lol#p****** r******* meet me in the pit
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silenthillrn · 2 years
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Lmaoooo
#fix her shit#i love how people think i cant tell when theyre intentionally trying to set me off like as if i hadnt seen all the#deliberate provocations and sabotage efforts#and lack of respect by telling intimate personal details of my life ans my boyfriend's life to your friends as a joke like#im not blind and im not stupid and in the end its funny how it blew up after trying to turn me against my best friend#like we both saw the intentional mentioning of sensitive subjects to rile us up#but its not ok if we do oke thing but ok qhen you do it#im done w adults who act like children#like i know you think I'm stupid and dont respect all the shit i did for you YEARS ago#and eventually clocked out when my depression got too bad#and you tried to ruin my other friendship and it didn't work because we are all stronger than ever and i love mg group#im posting here bc it will never be read by them and if it does i know this asshole is just gonna tell everything to his friends bc#theres nothing going on w them so they feel better by putting others down#i did you solids for years and you forgot that and i feel like i was taken advantage of#i also know you were back in town when i had a fucking crisis and i kept my mouth shut but im not stupid#i didnt give a shit tho bc i coukd tell you started to resent me#and that shit back in January where you ruined the fun evening in thr group by being aggressive towards my boyfriend who was just teachin#us how to play the game and never apologizing for anything ever and meaning it because you just say what you can without#owning up to it and say whatever to get people off your back#because youre too prideful and egotistical and call women your moms name when you get mad at them like a fucking child and weirdo#good luck functioning as an adult because you need anger management and proper guidance#you never did shit when your friends told me to kill mysekf as a joke and tell people i dont know intimate details about my life but would#be mad if i told others all your intimate details and shit i know about you#im done w hypocrites and this is the year of me getting rid of toxic people#also saying my friend need to in regards to her PTSD honestly reeks of words from someone who hasnt dealt with shit#and is insensitive as fuck#saying someone with PTSD needs to fix their shit is insensitive and you just got mad because we called you out on shit and actually stopped#biting our tongues for the first time#trting to impress your friends by talking shit about other people to them while theyre there#youre a fucking joke and we are all laughing at you rn
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The ability to repair things by hand is an absolutely crucial part of being a traveling trainer.
You'd think more people would believe me about this. Like, I've met so many young challengers that don't believe me. "I'm not going to take advice from a guy who took over a year to do his league."
Oh my Gods, it absolutely did take me a year and a half! That doesn't matter! I got through it more intact that most people!
Look, it sounds unbelievably dumb at first, but trust me when I say you're going to need to sew your own stuff. (For reference, always be on the ground for that. Don't be in a tree.)
#trainer tips that should be common sense#somebody fell out of a tree while sewing.#Yeah. It was me. Nearly stabbed myself.#of course. in all seriousness though who the heck forgoes this advice. i just wanna know.#Someone who clearly has never taken care of a tent* I'll tell you that.#Like. You have to learn to sew your own shit. Do you know how many pairs of jeans I've wrecked over the years?#gods i get it. it is not easy wearing a dress in the wild area. i know im doing it to myself and im taking responsibility for that shit.#Ugggggh I just don't get people who go start the challenge without normal life skills or survival skills.#You cannot get through this on a pair of high heels!#trust me on this one: high heels are for pictures only#swap them out as soon as you get to the wilderness. high heels should not be worn in swamps.#oh oh oh and also: please learn what a wetsuit is. just please.#Oh my gods those people who don't wear them are the actual worst. Girl you know what hypothermia is right?#This isn't even me getting started on the maniacs that seems to think it's all fine and dandy to feed wild pokémon.#One of these days somebody is going to get mauled because of them.#oh you mean like the people that just feed em with no intent to catch em? yeah those people deserve a downgrade in pay.#Gah- There's just so many stupid people! I'm trying to be nice. I really am. But man. Today was.#It was one fucking rough day.#being a nature freak sucks sometimes because i see these people and i just dont know what to do with them#Yeah. Yeah. Nature rocks but I just do not want to deal with people some days.
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