#and for the WHACKED formatting

[beheamothscreamoth]

Touchstarved Main Cast As RPG Characters

Slapping my two interests together because I am cringe and free 😌 Lately I've been wondering what the Touchstarved characters would be like if they were in other video games (Ace Attorney being one of them, though that's a potential post for another time)--

I'm a sucker for big adventures, and I find most of these in RPGs, so I decided to slap the TS cast into an RPG format and treat them as if they were actual RPG video game characters! :D This isn't super serious or anything, it's just an idea I've had for a while now orz

First, here's a quick run-down of what mechanics we're working with:

Stats:

HP (Health Points)

MP (Magic Points)

Physical Attack + Physical Defense

Magical Attack + Magical Defense

Accuracy

Speed

Luck [The higher Luck you have, the chance to land critical hits and dodge enemy attacks will increase.]

Abilities: All characters can choose a special ability that will help them in battle. They can only have one ability equipped for every fight.

Pairs: All battles will have two characters fighting together. Certain character pairs will get a special boost!

Enemies: The enemies you face would be humans, Monsters, Soulless (and perhaps even other beings), but those three would be the most common.

With that, let's move on to possible moves + mechanics that the cast could have!:

Ais

Moveset:

Summon -- Will summon one red-eyed minion to help the party fight. The minion being a human, Monster, or Soulless is random.

Coffin Nail -- Melee attack aimed at one enemy. With his cigarette in hand, Ais has a chance to inflict a burn.

Gut Punch -- Melee attack aimed at one enemy. Ais has a chance to lower the enemy's Physical Defense.

Bruised Knuckles -- Multi-hit melee attack targeting all enemies.

Beatdown -- Strong melee attack targeting one enemy.

Spot of Tea -- Ais drinks some tea, increasing a random stat.

Sea of Red -- Ais taps into Ocudeus’s power, and after one turn to charge, he unleashes a powerful tentacle-crushing attack on all enemies.

Abilities:

Groupmind Host -- When at low HP, Ocudeus will take over Ais, dramatically increasing his attack stats. However, Ais can only use attacking moves for the following turns until his HP is restored or falls to zero.

Man's Best Friend -- If Princess or one of Ais's pets is called through Summon, Ais’s Accuracy and Luck increase. When the Soulless/Princess is defeated, however, these stats disappear.

Thrilling Enemy -- When faced with a powerful enemy or boss, Ais's defense stats will increase.

Pairs:

Good Impression: When paired with MC, Ais's Accuracy increases.

With the Good Doctor: When paired with Kuras, Ais's Luck increases.

Friendly Rivalry: When paired with Leander, Ais's Physical Attack increases.

Notes/Other:

Weapon: Silver Rings [Rings that will definitely leave a mark when he hits enemies. Increases Physical Attack.]

Item: Red Horn Earrings [Are those actual horns or just jewellery? Increases Luck.]

Ais has the highest Physical Attack stat in the cast.

Most, if not all, attacks he learns are physical.

Vere

Moveset:

Jeer -- Vere goads all enemies to land their next attacks on him for the next three to five turns.

Sinking Fangs -- Vere burrows his teeth into one enemy. Strong melee attack.

Mutilation -- Melee attack targeting all enemies.

Fiery Bite -- Fire attack that has a chance of inflicting a burn on an enemy.

Kiss of Death -- Attack that has a low chance of instantly killing one enemy.

Clanging Chains -- With the sounds of his chains, Vere lowers the enemy's Physical Defense.

Lurking Shadows -- Vere will slip into the shadows, and after one turn, will unleash a powerful attack on one enemy.

Depths of Darkness -- Vere submerges his enemies in shadows, lowering their Accuracy.

Hasten -- Increases Speed for a number of turns.

Abilities:

Monster Form -- When HP is low, Vere will transform into his true form. His Physical Attack and Physical Defense will increase, but Magical Defense drops.

Scorching Sun -- When in a hot/sunny environment, all stats will increase. However, when Vere is in a cold/snowy environment, all stats will decrease.

Mischief and Mayhem -- When in a dark environment, Vere has access to more shadow-based attacks. These attacks are also stronger.

Pairs:

Friends With Benefits: When paired with Ais, Vere's Speed increases.

"That Damn Doctor": When paired with Kuras, Vere's attack stats greatly increase.

Notes/Other:

Weapon: None.

Item: Leather Collar [An old leather collar with a chain harness. This keeps Vere under the Senobium's command. Increases Physical Defense slightly.]

Alternative/Additional Item: Sketchbook [An almost-filled sketchbook with Vere's doodles and drawings. Increases Magical Attack.]

Has very high Speed and attack stats.

Weak to ice attacks.

Leander

Moveset:

Knock Back -- Melee attack targeting one enemy.

Rally -- Encourages and cheers on ally. Increases their attack stats.

Magical Barrier -- Casts a magical protection spell on either user or ally, increasing Magical Defense.

Heal -- Restores health to either user or ally.

An Adder's Venom -- Afflicts poison on one enemy.

Clouburst -- Deals water damage to one enemy.

Flash Flood -- Deals water damage to all enemies.

Lightning Bolt -- Deals lightning damage to enemies.

Conjured Flowers -- Summons a green flower to give to an ally, increasing their Luck.

Abilities:

Man of the Hour -- When ally is down, all of Leander’s stats will dramatically increase.

Put on a Show! -- Leander’s chances of dodging enemy attacks are increased.

Make Our Own Luck -- At the start of a battle, Leander uses Conjured Flowers without using MP.

Pairs:

Green-Eyed Obsession: When paired with MC, all of Leander's stats increase.

Friendly Rivalry: When paired with Ais, Leander's Physical Attack increases.

Notes/Other:

Weapon: Black Gloves [Simple tight gloves. Increases Physical Attack.]

Item: Dagger Earring [A fashionable symbol for the Adderstones. Increases Luck.]

Has even stats all around, though Magical Attack is the highest stat.

Has the widest spell pool and more variety of magic attacks.

Kuras

Moveset:

Heal -- Restores health to either user or ally.

Revive -- Revives fallen ally with a certain amount of HP. Costs MP.

Heaven’s Light -- Strong healing move that heals both the user and ally.

Luminous Arrow -- Kuras attacks a single enemy with burning illustrious light.

Summoning Star -- Kuras summons an explosion of light, hitting all enemies.

Snake Oil -- Weakens an enemy's constitution, lowering their defense stats.

Vitamin Shot -- Injects a shot of healthy vitamins into either the user or ally, boosting Physical Defense.

Divine Blessing -- Kuras blesses his ally, raising their attack stats.

Celestial Veil -- A protective veil is cast around user and ally, boosting defense stats.

Abilities:

A Doctor’s Duty -- When this ability is equipped, the power of Kuras’s healing moves will be boosted.

Emergency Treatment -- When ally is at low HP, Kuras will automatically heal a certain %-amount of their HP at the end of each turn.

Golden Radiance -- Boosts the power of light-based attacks.

Pairs:

"A Difficult Patient": When paired with Vere, Kuras's Magical Attack increases.

What the Doctor Ordered: When paired with Leander or Mhin, Kuras boosts their defenses.

Notes/Other:

Weapon: Seraph Spear [A golden spear crafted from heavenly light. Only Kuras can use this. Increases attack stats.]

Item: Glass Vials [Glass vials with a shimmering substance in them. Increases Accuracy.]

Kuras is the super busted unit that makes all the bosses super easy askjda--

Highest Magical Attack stat in cast with high defenses.

Has really good stats all around, but is the slowest character in the cast. (This is to mainly balance out how OP he is, kfgjn-)

Mhin

Moveset:

Stab -- Simple melee attack targeting one enemy.

Dual Wield -- Makes their next attacking moves hit twice for 3-5 turns.

Knife Honing -- Increases Physical Attack.

Knives Out -- Mhin throws multiple knives, targeting all enemies.

Cutting Talons -- Mhin’s curse transforms their hands into bird talons, and they claw at one targeted enemy. Costs MP.

Antidote -- Gives a potion to either themselves or an ally to heal status conditions.

Hasten -- Increases Speed for a number of turns.

Abilities:

Hunter’s Eye -- With their extensive experience as a hunter, Mhin will never miss landing an attack.

Surgical Precision -- Chances of hitting an enemy’s vital points, and thus landing critical hits, are increased.

Remains of an Expedition -- After using Cutting Talons three to five times in a row, Mhin’s curse will fully transform them, greatly increasing their physical attack stat. However, they can only use Cutting Talons for the following turns.

Pairs:

Newcomers: When paired with MC, Mhin's Physical Attack increases.

Close Acquaintances: When paired with Kuras, Mhin's Luck increases.

Notes/Other:

Weapon: Stiletto Knife [An intricate knife that can fetch a high price according to Vere. Increases Physical Attack.]

Item: Dark Blue Cloak [Mhin's trusty cloak. Increases Physical Defense.]

Alternative/Additional Item: Shredded Fish [A small snack for the cats. Increases Speed.]

Has highest Speed in the cast.

Low defenses, but relatively high Physical Attack.

Below the cut are bonus OC inserts! Please feel free to add on your own MC / OC if you're interested! :D

Daniella

Moveset:

Knock -- Simple melee attack targeting one enemy.

Premonition -- Tapping into their oracular powers, the user foresees an enemy's attack. This increases their chance of dodging future attacks.

Magical Barrier -- Casts a magical protection spell on either user or ally, increasing Magical Defense.

Beam of Light -- Casts light magic on a foe. Costs MP.

Oracle's Protection -- Casts a spell, boosting ally's defense stats.

Prophetic Sanction -- Casts a spell, lowering an enemy's stats.

Enchanted Boon -- Cast's a spell, boosting ally's attack stats.

Light of Kyklospex -- Daniella calls upon the god Kyklospex. After one turn to charge, Daniella and Kyklospex unleash a powerful light attack, targeting all enemies.

Abilities:

Wrath of Kyklospex -- When Daniella is defeated, Kyklospex will send down a barrage of light on all enemies.

Divine Guidance -- When a battle begins, Daniella will foresee one enemy’s moveset, and reveal it to the player. (Useful for boss fights.)

Steadfast Spirit -- Charge-up moves will not be interrupted by enemies.

Pairs:

Divine Connection: When paired with Kuras, Daniella's Magical Attack increases.

Friendly Face: When paired with Leander or Mhin, Daniella's Luck increases.

Notes/Other:

Weapon: Wooden Staff [A simple staff made of wood. Acts as an axis that connects Daniella to the god Kyklospex.]

Item: Tattered Gloves [A pair of well-loved, but shabby gloves. Daniella's most beloved gift from her family. Slightly increases Physical Defense.]

A support unit rather than an offensive one.

Lowest Physical Attack stat out of the cast, but has high Magical Defense and HP.

Edgar:

Moveset:

Injection -- Injects substance into an enemy, lowering their Physical Defense and Physical Attack.

Stab -- Simple melee attack targeting one enemy.

Piercing Icicles -- Ice attack targeting all enemies.

Crushing Vines -- User summons vines from the grounds to attack enemies.

Rejuvenating Shot -- Injects his ally with a healthy substance, boosting their Physical Defense and Physical Attack.

Mutated Slash -- Edgar mutates his arm and swings at an enemy. Costs HP.

Magical Barrier -- Casts a magical protection spell on either user or ally, increasing Magical Defense.

Magical Mark -- Casts a stimulating magic spell on either user or ally, increasing Magical Attack.

Alchemic Concoction -- Ally or user drinks an alchemic brew, restoring some MP.

Abilities:

Hypothesis of Humanity -- When this ability is equipped, Edgar has access to the move "Humanity's Elevation." When this move is used, Edgar injects a mysterious substance into himself, and he transforms. All stats will greatly increase. (Warning: Once this move is used, Edgar will leave the party and not fight in future battles.)

Scientist's Wisdom -- With his extensive knowledge from his dissections, Edgar's Luck will increase when facing against a human or a Soulless.

A Bit of Savoir Faire -- Puts on a smile befitting a gentleman. Boosts Luck and Accuracy.

Pairs:

Mad Scientists: When paired with Mhin, Edgar's Accuracy increases.

Unlicensed Practices: When paired with Kuras, Edgar's Magical Attack increases.

Notes/Other:

Weapon: No. 22 Scalpel [A scalpel with a number 22 scalpel blade. Intended for creating large incisions, often through thick skin. Increases Physical Attack.]

Item: Hypodermic Syringe [A trusty syringe for extracting and injecting fluids. Boosts Accuracy.]

Knows/Learns a mix of Physical and Magical Attacks.

High Accuracy with moderate Magical Attack stats. Low Speed stats.

Shinju:

Make It Rain -- Physical attack targeting all enemies. Shinju utilises his fortunes and resources. The more money the party has, the more damage this attack does.

Cobweb Cavern -- Spins spiderwebs around the opponent's feet, greatly lowering their Speed.

Punch-In -- Taking advantage of his multiple arms, Shinju deploys a multi-hit Physical Attack on one enemy.

Severance Pay -- User lowers an enemy's MP/Luck.

Constricting Silk -- Shinju wraps up an opponent in webs, making them unable to attack for a number of turns. This move has a low chance of hitting the enemy.

Spider's Covenant -- After waiting one turn, Shinju commands a horde of spiders to swarm all enemies. Deals Physical Damage.

Paired Strike -- Shinju slashes at an enemy twice before Hansuke appears to bite them.

Sharpened Tarsus -- Shinju sharpens his claws, heightening his Physical Attack.

Abilities:

A Merchant's Earnings -- After winning a battle, the team will gain more money and EXP. More earnings will be gained if Shinju is present on the field.

Arachnid Disclosure -- When this ability is equipped, Shinju reveals his third pair of arms. This increases how many times a multi-hit attack lands, but his Magical Defense decreases.

Nighttime Spider -- Shinju's intuition heightens, increasing his Luck.

Pairs:

Favorite Customer: When paired with MC, Shinju's Luck will increase.

Reliable Business Partner: When paired Leander, Shinju's Accuracy will increase.

Notes/Other:

Weapon: Heavy Ledger [A thick ledger documenting Shinju's finances. Increases Physical Defense.]

Item: Gold Glasses [A pair of gold glasses with stylish chains. Helps with Shinju's nearsightedness. Increases Luck and Accuracy.]

Shinju strikes me as more of a gimmicky unit- I can see him being a recruitable unit, but before he's on the team, the player can spend money in battles to summon him for help.

Low Magical Defense, but high Physical Attack and Luck.

Weak to fire attacks.

I hope you enjoyed reading these! If you have any other thoughts or opinions, please feel free to add them :D

[ckret2]

Lmao mb I'm so sorry for being so not-specific, and yeah you got it right in the hashtags.

It's really good if you analyse their story so I'd recommend it! Plus the game is really nicely drawn and animated ^^

Cookie run kingdom has currently taken over my brain like worms on a wheel of cheese 🧀

Thanks but while I'm working on this fic, media that's good at taking over brains is the exact kind of media that I'm avoiding as hard as possible.

[alyssapothecary]

Tin Foil Hat Mrs. Everdeen Theory #1: City Circle Resuscitation

This is probably my wildest Mrs. Everdeen theory. I really should throw out a few of my smaller headcanons first and slowly lead up to this one, but it's one of my more recent epiphanies and it won't leave me alone. So here's my first attempt on this blog at finally making the unseen seen.

Theory: Both Peeta and Mrs. Everdeen saved Katniss's life after the explosion at the City Circle.

Let me just start with a snippet from Catching Fire, specifically the moment Finnick restarted Peeta's heart.

No, he’s not kissing him. He’s got Peeta’s nose blocked off but his mouth tilted open, and he’s blowing air into his lungs. I can see this, I can actually see Peeta’s chest rising and falling. Then Finnick unzips the top of Peeta’s jumpsuit and begins to pump the spot over his heart with the heels of his hands. Now that I’ve gotten through my shock, I understand what he’s trying to do. Once in a blue moon, I’ve seen my mother try something similar, but not often. If your heart fails in District 12, it’s unlikely your family could get you to my mother in time, anyway. So her usual patients are burned or wounded or ill.

First thing worthy of note: Katniss has seen her mother attempt this kind of resuscitation, or something close to it. Mrs. Everdeen is familiar with the procedure. She doesn't do it often, but she will if she's desperate and she can get to the patient in time.

Now, let's skip ahead to the City Circle scene in Mockingjay, after Katniss has been hit with a fireball and is very badly burned:

Finally, my wings begin to falter, I lose height, and gravity pulls me into a foamy sea the color of Finnick’s eyes. I float on my back, which continues to burn beneath the water, but the agony quiets to pain. When I am adrift and unable to navigate, that’s when they come. The dead. The ones I loved fly as birds in the open sky above me. Soaring, weaving, calling me to join them. I want so badly to follow them, but the seawater saturates my wings, making it impossible to lift them.

Here's what I think happened -- Peeta caught up with Katniss, knocked her down, and used a heavy green cloak or blanket or something to put out the flames (hence his burned hands later at the meeting). That's the sea Katniss is lost in, the weight on her arms. And then she arrives.

The small white bird tinged in pink dives down, buries her claws in my chest, and tries to keep me afloat. “No, Katniss! No! You can’t go!” But the ones I hated are winning, and if she clings to me, she’ll be lost as well. “Prim, let go!” And finally she does. Deep in the water, I’m deserted by all. There’s only the sound of my breathing, the enormous effort it takes to draw the water in, push it out of my lungs. I want to stop, I try to hold my breath, but the sea forces its way in and out against my will. “Let me die. Let me follow the others,” I beg whatever holds me here. There’s no response.

On the surface, this appears to be Katniss hallucinating Prim as a bird. White? That's the medic uniform. Tinged in pink? Burned or covered in blood. But Prim is gone, so who could be clawing at Katniss's chest? Finnick is gone, so who is forcing air into her lungs?

Mrs. Everdeen is wearing a white medic uniform. Mrs. Everdeen is stained with blood. Mrs. Everdeen is pushing on her daughter's chest, begging her not to go, breathing life back into her.

Peeta put out the flames, but Katniss's heart stopped, so Mrs. Everdeen resuscitated her.

Trapped for days, years, centuries maybe. Dead, but not allowed to die. Alive, but as good as dead. So alone that anyone, anything no matter how loathsome would be welcome. But when I finally have a visitor, it’s sweet. Morphling. Coursing through my veins, easing the pain, lightening my body so that it rises back toward the air and rests again on the foam. Foam. I really am floating on foam. I can feel it beneath the tips of my fingers, cradling parts of my naked body. There’s much pain but there’s also something like reality. The sandpaper of my throat. The smell of burn medicine from the first arena. The sound of my mother’s voice. These things frighten me, and I try to return to the deep to make sense of them. But there’s no going back. Gradually, I’m forced to accept who I am. A badly burned girl with no wings. With no fire. And no sister. In the dazzling white Capitol hospital, the doctors work their magic on me. Draping my rawness in new sheets of skin.

"The sound of my mother's voice." My strongest piece of evidence. They give Katniss morphling to relax her. Lift her onto a gurney or stretcher or whatever the foamy thing is that's carrying her. And Mrs. Everdeen treats Katniss and Peeta with burn medicine as they head to the Capitol hospital. Maybe she's speaking words of reassurance to Katniss, or maybe she's talking to Peeta about the tragedy they just witnessed. And that's why Katniss is forced to accept Prim is gone.

Now, what is Mrs. Everdeen doing here? Well, Katniss's alleged death was announced just 2-3 days ago. In that time, Prim gave her mom the slip and left for the Capitol ("I'm good at keeping secrets, even from Mother"), then Mrs. Everdeen realized she was missing and took the next train after her. Prim would have a head-start on her, but Mrs. Everdeen could still arrive in time to help Peeta save Katniss.

[deadfish-dol]

How does Fish feel about each of the love interests?

(cracks my knuckles) diving into the Fish's mind 👉🐟👈

Robin-> their Favorite Person, their twin flame, Codependent Bestie etc etc. Deirdre has no real romantic feelings for Robin… but they adore them & want to live with/near them for the rest of their life.

they treasure Robin's positive energy, & though Deirdre doesn't believe themself capable of 'protecting' Robin from the worst of the town, they do believe that Robin out of anyone is worth protecting. 🫂

Whitney-> Deirdre's interactions w/ Whitney have only extended so far as some 'light' (for Whitney) bullying at school, before Whitney realized that Deirdre is Boring As Fuck & won't be giving them the reactions that they're looking for 🧍‍♀️

Whitney's not the one who originated Deirdre's 'Dead Fish' nickname, but they are certainly the one who had the most impact re: spreading the name around.

Deirdre views Whitney as like, a landmark of dolville high. a mascot or something. Deirdre holds no fear or negative feelings toward Whitney; they can't fault someone for trying to have fun! 💃

Kylar-> who? 😶

(Deirdre sits adjacent to Kylar nearly every day in English, & if prompted may vaguely remember them as 'the kid who lent them a pencil once'. regardless of whatever Kylar might think of them, Deirdre doesn't even remember Kylar's name… 😅)

Sydney-> Deirdre likes Sydney! Deirdre also thinks Sydney is a little weird… which is funny, coming from Fish. Sydney tutors Deirdre a few days of the week after school (as encouraged by Sirris, who Deirdre has stronger feelings towards & even has a crush on. huh what?)

Deirdre in general Doesn't Talk A Lot, but due to the nature of tutoring + spending so much time together anyway, Sydney ends up being the person Deirdre speaks w/ the most besides Robin (which is a little sad, since they only sit together for a few hours each week & mostly talk about schoolwork…)

Avery-> Deirdre joined Avery at an event Only Once before Avery decided nope, not worth it, never again.

even after cleaning up, having Deirdre on their arm was like leading a cryptid around the function. excellent at keeping their mouth shut, but can't stop staring bug-eyed at the other guests 👽 also somehow still smelled faintly of gasoline even after freshly showering & using Avery's bath products?? NOT worth the effort.

… Deirdre thought Avery smelled nice!

Eden-> Deirdre has yet to meet Eden in their current incarnation, but in other AUs Deirdre generally thinks of Eden in one of two ways-

if Robin is still at the orphanage, Eden is a seemingly insurmountable obstacle preventing Deirdre from returning to them. it would require the hand of god to allow them to do so (the Ivory Wraith sleepwalking their ass out of there, or me, the player, getting bored & accessing cheats lmao)

if Robin is NOT at the orphanage, having been spirited away at the docks/is dead or whatever the fuck--Deirdre likes Eden so much! they might even love them, maybe! Eden takes care of most things regarding their home & needs, & expects so little of Deirdre in return; it's really all that Deirdre had hoped for concerning a quiet & structured life 🫶

& if Eden breaks one of Deirdre's knees one night when they sleepwalk out & 'try to escape'… well, that was Deirdre's fault 🙁 thank goodness Eden forgave them quickly enough (after having to carry Deirdre into town for medical attention… & Deirdre got to see their favorite doctor again, so more silver linings!)

Black Wolf, Great Hawk, Alex-> whomst? 😶

(Deirdre has met none of them!! they would probably like Alex if they did meet, but as for the other two… no ❤️)

[authorafterhours]

A Stray of Stardust

Summary: Newly discovered brothers, Will Graham and Adam Raki, are still getting to used to each other, and the fact that they still have family. Adam picks up one of Will's habits.

Special thanks to an irl friend for beta reading! ❤️

__________

It wasn't like Adam hated dogs. It was just that for an easily overstimulated man, their enthusiasm could be more than a little overwhelming. Never mind a pack of them. Still, Will was proud of his little brother for venturing out of his comfort zone by spending the night at his house, where dog hair was all but indistinguishable from the carpet.

By the third visit, Adam could tolerate the attention of three dogs at once for a brief period of time. Will knew Adam had a soft spot for Ellie, calm and quiet as she was, which made it easier for him. Jack, too, because whenever the biggest of his pack would lay on Adam, it was like being covered with a breathing weighted blanket. At least, that's how Will described it, Adam took umbridge with it and listed the differing qualities between blankets and canines. His knowledge of both topics was limited, but Will couldn't stop smiling the entire time. It took a lot of effort not to laugh, as he didn't want Adam to think he was laughing at him.

In contrast, the less said about Buster, the better. Will had hoped the little terror would calm down once he got used to Adam, but that looked less and less likely as time went by. The jack terrier was bound determined to become his brother's new best friend, and Adam was just as skittish as the first day he set foot on Will's front porch. It was a work in progress. Will studiously ignored the "progress" part of that for the time being.

All of that being said, Adam was the last person Will ever thought would bring home a stray.

Will had flown in on Friday and landed after Adam had already left for work. Uber ride paid for and spare key in hand, Will stepped into the apartment and set up shop in the guest room. He wasn't a fan of the city for obvious reasons, but he couldn't ask Adam to travel all the way to Virginia and not return the favor. He was learning that with family came compromise as uncomfortable as it could be at times. After a cursory exploration of Adam's apartment, Will had retired to his room, exhausted, and dozed off. He woke up disoriented, with a dog barking and Adam calling his name.

He stumbled out of the bed, out of the room, and by the time Will reached the front door, he was mostly awake. He scrubbed at his face as he opened the door to find his little brother holding a medium-sized dog covered in mud. A smile tugged at Will's mouth without meaning to.

"Thank you, Will. I couldn't open the door." Adam bustled past him, making a beeline to the bathroom as he carefully held the dog away from his body to avoid spreading the mess. With a shaky laugh, Will shook his head, shut the door, and followed him. Adam looked up from where he crouched beside the tub, the dog already deposited inside. "Oh good. Can you assist me, please?"

"You've seen me wash my dogs before," Will pointed out, even as he was already pulling up his sleeves.

"Yes, but they are used to you, and you trained them." Adam frowned, which, fair enough. Will kneeled beside him and grabbed the shower head, careful to keep it aimed away from their new friend until he had the temperature right. As the two of them scrubbed away, the mud revealed white fur with black and brown spots, and the fact she was a girl. She didn't seem injured, thank goodness.

"Picking up one of my bad habits, huh?" The smile on Will's face was more of a grimace as he remembered asking Alana the same thing. Adam's frown twisted with confusion. It had been there from the moment the first droplets of water splashed him as the dog seemed to think the shower head was some sort of toy to play with. Will knew their clothes were a lost cause.

"My hands were full, I couldn't pick up anything else, Will. And... it isn't a bad thing to help those who need it. I saw her at the park on my way home, stuck in an opening of the fence. I didn't see anyone looking for her or helping her, and I knew you wouldn't have left her there." Adam looked over Will's shoulder, unsure. "I did the right thing, right? I didn't kidnap her. At least, I don't think so." And damn if that didn't make Will's heart crack like an egg. He choreographed his movement to give Adam time to adjust and move away if necessary before Will gripped his shoulder, the one that was already wet, and remembered the pressure Adam preferred whenever he let someone initiate physical contact. Will's cheeks actually began to hurt with the strength of his grin.

"No, you didn't. You did a good thing, Adam. She looks underfed, so she might have been out on her own for a while." His brother seemed to deflate with the reassurance. Will did not mention that should the owner come forward to claim her, they would have a rude awakening.

"O-oh, that's a relief. I don't want to be arrested again." Adam pet the dog's head, and she eagerly leaned into his hand. Will's teeth ached at the reminder.

"I wouldn't let that happen," he promised. That finally got Adam to look at him in the eye. Eye contact was something they both struggled with, albeit for somewhat different reasons.

"Do you mean it?"

"Of course." Will wanted to say he was dead serious, but well, Adam might not have liked the phrasing. A tremulous smile bloomed on Adam's face, and Will found himself mirroring it. The younger didn't appear to know what to say next, but then he settled on —

"Thank you, Will."

"You're welcome, um, we're brothers so, anytime." Adam seemed just as uncomfortable as Will with the novelty of the moment, of having family again. They were still getting used to it and each other. Thankfully, the silence that followed save for the barking wasn't awkward, and by the time they rinsed her off, Will had compiled a dozen questions and a to-do list. Was Adam keeping her? Did his apartment complex even allow pets? Or did Adam want Will to take her with him when he left? Did he want to take her to a shelter? They should at least take her to the vet first to get checked and see if she had a microchip or not. He was surprised Adam hadn't taken that course of action first if Will were being honest, but a part of him couldn't help but be happy that Adam hadn't. If he kept her, they'd need to buy supplies, and Will would need to teach him how to make his recipe for dog food and—

Will was getting ahead of himself. He took a breath and handed over the towel so Adam could dry her off. Somehow, that evolved to her thinking they were playing a game of tug of war with it. Adam was trying to reason with her, and Will fondly, if inwardly, wished him the best of luck with that. By the time the two men were done and changed into clean clothes, the dog was already sniffing around the apartment. In that particular moment, Will's shoes. The elder had meant to start off by asking what Adam wanted to do with her, but instead, what came out of his mouth was, "What are you going to name her?" What surprised Will even more was what came out of Adam's. He answered without skipping a beat.

"Laika. After the dog that the Soviet Union sent into space aboard the Sputnik 2 spacecraft in 1957. Did you know she was the first ever living creature to orbit the earth?" Adam's eyes, mirrors of his own, shined. "It's thanks to her that we learned humans could survive in space." Then, his eyes dimmed, and he looked down at their Laika, who had gotten bored of sniffing Will's shoes and bounded over for attention. "But she died up there. They didn't expect her to survive, but..."

"But it doesn't make it any less sad. A lot of advancements like that require sacrifice, unfortunately." Will finished for him. Adam nodded and picked her up, then held her close. "Does that mean you want to keep this Laika?" That earned a surprised blink as Adam appeared to think it over, lips pursed. "It's a lot of work and a lot of responsibility, even for just one dog. However..." Will's eyes were drawn to Laika, who was giving Adam doggy kisses to the chin. Or trying to, anyway. His brother was bobbing his head from side to side to avoid her, and that turned into a new game for her. Will couldn't hold back a smile as she got one in, and Adam squinted at her. He wasn't displeased exactly. "They can be good company." The words felt inadequate in comparison to how Will's own dogs had saved his life time and again. Will was pulled out of his less than pleasant memories by Adam's voice.

"If... If I do, will you help me, Will?" Laika complained with a whuff as Adam's grip grew with his anxiety. Will smiled. As if there would be any other answer. He couldn't blame Adam for not knowing that yet. They didn't know each other well enough, but they would. For good or ill. Will wasn't a good man, but those he took under his wing, he took care of.

"Of course."

[kryptid-kitten]

Saturday's London MCM!! Had a blast again, great to see so many new and old faces

Can't wait for tomorrow >:3

plus bonus of me as sniper now that i can format this post

[billdenbrough]

THE CRIMES OF KUROO TETSUROU

haikyuu · kurodai · 5.2k, t.

if you ask oikawa, kuroo and daichi’s terrible flirting constitutes a biohazard. well, he’s had enough. the court is now in session. square up, kuroo

“Thank you, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says stiffly. “Ushiwaka.” He stands. Which is ridiculous. As is this entire council meeting, actually, so, y’know, par for the course. He clears his throat. “We are here to discuss Kuroo Tetsurou’s crimes, specifically—” Here, he raises his voice, as if anticipating Kuroo’s interruption, “—the endless, egregious, emotionally taxing to unwilling viewers… flirting.”

What.

What.

“With who?” Kuroo asks, incredulous.

Almost all heads swivel to face him. Kunimi’s head doesn’t move, but he does cast a sidelong glance Kuroo’s way. Kageyama doesn’t look up from his notepad, where he does, in fact, seem to be dutifully writing something. Tsukishima is watching over his shoulder and rolls his eyes, pointing at something on the page. Kageyama scowls, then scribbles it out.

“Daichi, obviously,” Suga says.

Really, one of these days, they’re going to have to have a conversation with Oikawa about hijacking Official Council Meetings for his nonsense. Probably got bigger fish to fry today, though.

read on ao3

[human-sweater-vest]

okay so we’ve seen glenn and ron so far in season two and they’ve been kind of what I expected.

glenn is pretty much the same as he was season one. it makes sense, he’s set in his whole thing, he’s vibing in hell with morgan and is sporting the same chill stoner vibes as before. the notable thing with him was that there wasn’t really animosity between him and nick (which also makes sense given their whole deal in season one). he’s always been far removed and it makes sense that in season two he’s still rockin with it.

ron then was a really touching surprise because he continued to grow as a person (insert beth may snickering here). he connected easily with scary and hit me like a fucking freight train with the line about him being sorry that she didn’t realize that losing terry jr. was her loss too. he’s this strange intermediary between the men in their family because willy took advantage of her needing someone to validate her pain, terry jr. was seen as a cause of it and therefore couldn’t help ease it truly (until things were too late), and then ron is here being his odd little self and extends sympathy to her because he also lost terry jr. and can understand. kudos to beth for ep. 41 because she rode the line between comedy and genuinely heartfelt and deep emotional moments like a champ.

and now here’s where we turn to speculation:

I’ve seen a lot of folks saying they’re worried about henry (and I feel like he’s probably going to warrant that because duh, it all comes back to the oak family when it comes to the doodler). however! my first point here is that we shouldn’t ignore darryl.

I feel like we see the most thought going into the oaks (and again, rightfully so, will and anthony are serving us trauma and drama on a platter) and I think one of the sacrifices with that comes at the extent of the wilson boys. the darryl/grant arc was the first time I really, truly got what dndads was all about. specifically, matt’s incredible line where darryl is replying to the other dads saying that he should showcase vulnerability to grant with darryl snapping and saying that he can’t be fully honest because he’s putting on a brave face because he doesn’t know if they’ll make it out and if he and carol will even stay together if they do. that line then contrasted later when he says that if grant asks him a question he’ll do his best to answer truthfully which allows for the big emotional connection they were lacking.

the wilson father/son relationship hinges on the idea of not being able to love the pain away and we see that extend into the next generation in a deeply tragic way. grant can’t make his mental illness magically disappear by loving his son despite how badly he clearly wants to. he can’t “we’ll talk about it later” his way into a healthy relationship where he’s able to offer his son both stability and truth. he’s fucked up and traumatized and never fully dealt with things and he’s dealing with the ramifications.

so how do we think darryl feels about that? how do we think darryl would feel knowing that he couldn’t love away grant’s mental illness (which isn’t something you can do, but he feels immensely guilty about in season one) and seeing the disastrous effect it had on the relationship between his son and grandson to the point where linc no longer refers to him as a dad? I personally really do think that he’ll act as a balm between the two and finally provide that space for them to become father and son again.

there’s truly so much I could say on the wilson family because I’m fascinated by the transition between the most stereotypically masculine family dynamic to a queered one (in both senses of the world) and how the thru line for the generations is this idea of not being able to 1. disclose the truth out of a sense of protection (see: frank hiding his marital and monetary issues, darryl hiding his martial issues and fear of not surviving faerun, and grant hiding who he is and what he does) and 2. love away the pain/illness.

and now we turn to the oak boys. I’m operating on the assumption that henry will be the last dad that they seek out because 1. glenn and terry jr. are in the same spot which means we get a two for one combo deal in hell 2. lark and sparrow clearly have a bad or at the very least strained relationship with their dad and will be less likely to jump on seeking him out and 3. the oak family started the whole doodler thing in this show so it makes sense that they’ll end it.

and for the sake of transparency: here’s where my bias comes through. henry was my favorite season one dad. normal is my favorite season two kid. will campos if you’re reading this, I want you to know that if I could simultaneously give you an academy award and sue you for emotional damages, I would.

the oaks have the most literal device explaining their generational trauma. hildy was ripped from her world after her companions were brutally killed in front of her, barry is a piece of shit, henry has the weight of both his father and having to be a father despite not having a role model, lark and sparrow are fucked up beyond belief in a manner of ways that starts at fucking their twin’s spouse and ends with starting the literal apocalypse. and then there’s normal. bearing the brunt of it all when he wasn’t even given the support to. he’s been carrying the weight of expectation since birth. his sister is hero, he’s normal and yet he’s anything but. that’s a whole other essay (catch me writing that when it’s not 2am).

back to the twins and henry though. from their view it’s bad right? lark hates his dad and destroyed the world. sparrow was an accomplice. I can’t imagine that things were easy after the doodler was released in the oak-garcia household. ESPECIALLY — and this has had me uncomfortable since we learned it offhand in episode 29 of the season — because henry and mercedes had another kid. first things first (and this might just be a me and my cultural background thing), but a minimum decade age gap between your first and second kids is A Lot. especially given the context here that henry struggles with being a father for the aforementioned reasons and his children literally Ended The World. I dunno about you but I think that I’d avoid having more kids at pretty much all costs at that point. but he and mercedes don’t. and hey maybe birdie/birdy was an accident. but my suspicion here (and I very much might be reading too deep into something mentioned in a literal “see you again” parody) is that birdie was a second chance kid. which would fucking blow if you were the aforementioned dad-stabbing—eldritch-creature-releasing child because it would look like your dad had gone “okay well that didn’t work out I can’t find a way to make these kids work so let’s try another one” which would justify the distance and dislike of henry from both of the boys.

I’m a very big fan of henry. he’s fucked up in the exact way I like my fictional men and also reminds me of guys from the city I grew up in which is both appalling and endearing. however, this is absolutely a move I could see him justifying to himself which morally makes me wanna walk into the sea and from a character/story standpoint makes me wanna jump up and down in glee. I really, truly am hoping that things pan out like that and we see a henry who loves his beautiful boys very deeply, but also gave up on them in exchange for a do-over.

I’m especially excited to see how he interacts with normal because my first instinct based on season one without my fucked up and evil birdie theory is that he’ll love normal and make him feel special and seen while my second post-birdiegate instinct is that he’s just not going to care anymore and therefore do fuck-all for normal. he has the energy of a man who eventually just stops trying because he can’t ever make everything better. will campos, if you deliver on that, I’ll figure out how to sneak the oak family into an academic paper.

finally (for now), I’m predicting that the familial reunions will reflect the how the anchors broke. glenn, ron, and darryl will be love while henry will be hate. I think there’s a lot of possibility there that I can break down when it’s not almost 3am. thanks for reading! lmk what you think, I really want to discuss this with folks and get your takes!!

[danwithouttheplan]

Who would win:

3 18 21364

🐟 🦈 🐋

[ragnars-tooth]

HII HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

As promised, here are seven wips from the last uhh 3 years I've been writing dragons book fanfic on my silly gay computer. They're a mix of unfinished/abandoned/in-progress-but-not-that-important-rn

There are summaries in square brackets between each separate fic with a quick description of what the fuck is going on, when it's going on (e.g. book number, where appropriate) and main players/relationships. (plus a fun little word-count and look at the last time i touched the file… yeah, fun… whoops). These have been bolded to hopefully make them a bit easier to see while scrolling at high velocity.

All under the cut because it's too long for me to do that to your dashboards 🫡

[Lucy & David, chatting about author photos post-book 4. 475 words. (Oct 2022 💀)]

“Hang on…”

David paused, finger still wedging the spine of the book open. He was staring at the flap of the dust cover, frowning slightly to himself.

“Did you use my student ID for my author photo?”

Lucy leant in closer. College David was a little younger than David Rain – same dark blue eyes, but with a rounder face and hair that hadn’t been bleached white by his time elsewhere. The dusty brown still crept in at the ends of his hair, where it was now stuck to the inside of his collar.

Lucy couldn’t remember how many times she had taken down her copy of The Nutbeast and stared at the little card. It was odd to compare the man who’d lived only in her head for so many years to the one sitting on the edge of her bed.

He looked tired now. In-her-head-David had never been tired.

“It was the only one mum had.” She said.

It was the truth; Liz had run through his entire film collection and hadn’t found a single photo of David’s face. He’d been more of a landscape photographer – lots of buses and bridges that hadn’t consoled her as a child. Well, a younger child.

David cocked his head to one side, looking decidedly distraught. “But it’s awful – that’s not an excuse!”

She glanced back down, as though the image might have twisted into something else in the time she’d released her focus from it.

Nope. Still David, if a little pixelly.

“It looks fine.”

His hair was staticky and spidering out in a mess of flyaways, and David had a slight manic glint to his eyes, grinning in an angular, uncomfortable way. There might have been a stain on his shirt – it was hard to tell.

“It does not.”

Lucy cocked an eyebrow. “And where did you want us to get another? Your return address isn’t even real.”

He flailed the book wildly, “I don’t even have parents! That makes it double your fault for not having a photo of me.” The cover was still propped open an inch or so, the paper caught on his ring. “There has got to be a better one in this house.”

“Can’t fix your face, David. They’re all going to look like that.”

“This is inhumane!” he sputtered.

Despite it all, Lucy found herself smiling.

“We used it at your… not-funeral too.”

“I’m sorry.” David scoffed, eyes very wide. “You used my student identification photo at my funeral?”

“And where were we meant to get another one? You were gone remember? Can’t exactly call ghostbusters and ask them to snap a photo of you.”

David frowned, nose wrinkling at the bridge.

“I don’t think they do that – they bust the ghosts, remember?”

Lucy rolled her eyes. “You’re a very annoying ghost. Maybe I should give them a ring regardless.”

-----

[Lucy & David, the audacity that some people have to move on and remodel the kitchen while you’re gone, really. 535 words. (March 2023)]

Irrevocably and stupidly, the only words he can get out of his mouth are:

“You moved the fridge.”

It’s not incorrect – it used to push up against the backdoor, and no amount of goodwill could stop you from nearly decapitating Bonny when he pattered through the cat-flap on short notice.

Now, it’s on the opposite wall – plastered in the same old stickers and fridge magnets reminiscent of days gone by. It’s the same fridge where he used to drink straight from the milk carton and look out over the rockery and crooked garden fence, but it doesn’t face the window anymore. David would have to turn fully around, which rather defeats the purpose.

It’s nothing intelligent, nothing profound – so much, so fucking much, has happened in five years and the only thing he can think about is the fridge, Lucy filling her water in the moonlight, barely tall enough to reach the faucet, and the rattling of the entire house in the winter months, post it notes and postcards and crayon drawings of a clan of squirrels.

There are new drawings now – Alexa’s, he thinks vaguely – but it’s not the same. She holds her markers much tighter.

It shouldn’t be a shock. It’s been so, so long since he was last here, but in the same breath it’s as though David had only closed his eyes for a second to rest, and the house has grown and shifted around him.

He knows that this is how things work, he hadn’t expected or wanted them to dig in their heels and sink into the snow with him. It’s a good thing, he tells himself, that things have changed, but he chokes on the inhale anyway.

He’s been left behind.

Lucy leans into the counter, dragging the cuff of her jumper between her thumb and forefinger. She bites the inside of her cheek the same way she did five years ago, but that’s wrong too.

It’s something in her eyes, something heavy and dark that’s never going away – she’s tired, much more tired than a child has any right being, and it seizes something in his chest.

He did this.

She sighs, moving to play with the collar of the jumper instead.

“Bonny likes to be big now and household fridges aren’t really made to withstand the force of a hundred-pound tiger… it got old real quick.”

David wants to say something, to lapse back into the way things used to be, but his mouth betrays him. He nods instead, and Lucy keeps tugging at the green fabric at her neck. It’s his old geography society jumper, he notices absently. It looks older than he feels, silver lettering faded black and brown, eroded away entirely in places. He hadn’t been to many of the meetings, not after truly being inducted into the Pennykettle’s nonsense, but the dusty smell of the common room and their pilfered coffee machine fills his nose.

It makes him want to gag. Where exactly are those members now? The idea of what will become of them if he fails has the prickle of ice rising just under his skin.

How can things be so much the same and so different all at once?

-----

[Henry & David: excerpt from the wider ‘wouldn’t you be mad as hell if you were a normal guy and found out your birth dad is your landlady’s new boyfriend?’ au, post family dinner explosion/revelation. 703 words. (September 2023)]

“Exiled from my own house.” He muttered darkly.

Henry arched a massive eyebrow. “You don’t pay the rent, boy.”

“I do – that is literally the one thing I do.”

“That’s rough, man.” Tam mumbled, hands weighed down by the tall coffee mug he had pilfered. It tipped dangerously as he raised it to his mouth, threatening to douse them all in yet more sludge. Henry frowned and steadied it with one hand. Tam blinked slowly and reset his angle.

“There’re camping beds under the stairs. You can set yourself up in the living room.” Henry narrowed his eyes at the two of them, “You will not be rumpling my upholstery by sleeping on my sofa.”

Tam hummed, setting his mug down owlishly before slogging out of the kitchen. He looked much more jelly than human, and David had half a mind to go and help him before he gave up on assembling the bed and curled up in a heap on the floor. He wasn’t sure if that had been on Henry Bacon’s extensive list of house rules or not.

“Did you know for long?” Henry asked quietly.

The tone took David off guard, breaking him out of his considerations of how comfortable Henry’s plush carpet was and how likely it was Tam was going to get a good night’s sleep in the inevitability that he collapsed from exhaustion.

“Know what?”

“Don’t be stupid boy.” Henry huffed, his eyes softening more than David had ever seen. It was an odd expression for the hard lines of his face. “How long did you know Arthur was your father?”

He laughed.

Turning his wrist to check the face of his watch he answered,

“Oh, about seven hours.”

“Mm, so ruining dinner was a crime of passion then.”

“Or you could say Arthur ruined dinner twenty-three years ago. Ultra-pre-meditated.”

Henry sighed.

“Don’t start writing crime novels, boy. You’re dreadful.” “It must have been a shock to the system then, you’re not one to get angry.”

David shrugged. It sounded almost like a compliment. Two years ago he would have told you with full certainty that dragons were a fantasy. Now they warmed his tea in the mornings. A lot of things had changed in his life since then.

He shifted his mug between his hands and took another sip. The dregs were starting to cool.

“It would have been better if it had been literally anyone else. Arthur’s been so… kind to me since we met and all this… it’s just-” his nose scrunched, “highly contradictory to everything I thought I knew.”

David’s family had come up in conversation before – once Henry Bacon had hold of a thread he yanked and yanked until it came loose, no matter how many loose teeth he took with it. Perhaps that was why he and Tam got along so well.

It was no secret how David felt about the concept of his father. Henry Bacon had shared enough choice words about the man himself that David had to wonder what calculations were running in the back of his mind. Was he unravelling all of his interactions with Arthur, sliding the threads under a microscope? Was he a good man? Honourable?

David didn’t have the answers to that himself.

He shook his head to clear it.

“It doesn’t matter. He’s barely a father – he wasn’t there to raise me and he certainly wasn’t there when I needed him.” He rolled his mug around to observe the escaped leaves. “I think you did a better job at that.” 

“Arthur’s… a complicated man. I’m sure you two will be able to have a civil conversation once this is all said and done.”

When exactly does this get to be done? He wasn’t sure anyone could tell him that. Not for all Arthur’s understanding of the universe and all its components therein was there an equation he could use to fix this. Replace x and y and find how he had missed this. To be so impossibly close and so far away at the same time. No doubt, he would have invented time travel before he would have noticed what sat right in front of him.   

David hummed into his empty mug.

“Sure.”

-----

[Tam/David, General Pennykettle Clan. David is weird after being resurrected, and everyone has questions about Co:pern:ica. There is another family dinner because those are all I write apparently. Tam and David go for a smoke break. 3067 words. (November 2022)]

“’Not like it can kill me anyway.” He says. “I didn’t eat for four years, it’s not like a bit of smoke will do me in now.”

The silence is suddenly oppressive, and when David looks up the entire damn table is staring at him, slack-jawed. He has missed something.

He quirks an eyebrow.

“What?”

“Four years?” Liz is still holding the plate of roasters, stuck in the motion of sliding more onto her plate with the flat of her knife. There is something akin to real horror in her eyes. 

“I was dead for one, yes.”

She extends the plate to him jerkily. “Then you’d better make up for it now.”

Ah! Yes, the human concept of starvation, he’d forgotten that one. Generally pretty upsetting to the average person – makes sense.

David pushes the plate back her way, gentle not to disturb the roasters as he laughs. They’re the herb covered kind and it would be a dire shame to spill them all over the floor, no matter if Bonny might thank him.

“No, really. I’m fine. Had other things to worry about – slipped my mind if anything.”

Other things, yes… let’s say that, shall we?

Arthur has inclined his head towards him in the way that means he’s grabbed the string of an intriguing theory and intends to tug it until the entire tapestry unravels. He gets that look about him a lot.

David shivers despite the British cold always being abrasively hot to him these days. What an odd image to set him on edge.

“Would you call that typical for the Fain? Not needing to sustain a physical body?”

He rolls the unlit cigarette around between his fingers.

“No,” David hums, “I don’t think it’s a Fain thing, I think it’s a dead thing.”

“But you’re not dead now, are you?” There’s a tension in Zanna’s words that he wasn’t expecting. If he were sentimental he might have called it concern. But he’s not sentimental, he’s Fain – he doesn’t do that anymore.

David shrugs. “Not entirely sure if I count as alive either.”

“You do.” She’s quick – always has been to cut off the things she doesn’t want to hear. Zanna has made it clear enough that she doesn’t like the thought that David Rain was never real, that he was some construct given life. He can’t blame her.  

“Can we not talk about how you’re dead or not dead.” Lucy snaps, her plate clinking a dangerous tone when she slams down her fork. David flinches at the sound. Tam has his eyes on him again. “You’re finally back and I don’t want to think about -” she glares at the fireplace, “-all that. I just want to have dinner again.”

He feels a twinge of the heaviness and lightness of space winking back at him. The same sensation of holding Bergstrom’s pocket watch in his open hand and staring into its face, and all that that entails.

Good, it seems to say to him, you’re not here to be liked.

“’Course. Sorry, Luce.”

She shakes her head, and seems to think better of whatever was on the tip of her tongue. She picks up her fork again and returns her gaze to the plate,

“Whatever, answer Arthur’s physics questions.”

David slides his Yorkshire pudding onto her plate in some semblance of a peace offering. Lucy douses it in gravy and almost smiles at him.

“It’s probably an… Illumination thing, rather than a Fain thing.” He tucks the cigarette into the pocket of his shirt. With the way Arthur has crossed his hands on the tablecloth there is no way David is going to get a smoke break any time soon. “I was in limbo for a long time, but I remember that my parents used to cook.”

Those eyes are all on him again. Even Bonny has plodded back into the living room to stare at him, though he’s probably waiting for one of their entourage to drop a piece of chicken.

The cat glides under the table, and from the sound of pattering paws David can hear him settle in Arthur’s lap. The professor removes a hand from the table to rest in Bonny’s fur. Then his eyes move from the patch of wall over David’s shoulders to his face.

Right. Being stared at. That’s what’s happening.

“Not my parents,” he corrects. “One of me’s parents.” That’s worse.

“The me that does not have this specific earth body, but existed in Co:pern:ica.” Better? “The me that had parents.” Nope, that’s even worse.

No one looks like they know what to say. He can’t blame them. This whole family thing is a mess.

“We do eat.” He settles on, then shoves a piece of parsnip in his mouth for good measure. He is safe for the next five to twelve seconds, if he really pushes it.

They’re curious, but no one wants to touch that mess, so Arthur breaks the quiet of everyone glancing off awkwardly at various décor, grimacing slightly. “You had mentioned that the Fain don’t do many menial tasks unless they’re unavoidable – if you remember it that way, then you’re likely right.”

“Well, I don’t remember it, but based on Co:pern:ica David, I’d say so.“ Good Godith, what was in that fucking wine? “His parents cooked, so they had to eat. Probably...”

The looks return, so he moves on quickly, waving his hands vaguely.

“Multiple timelines,” he says, “There’s several me’s, doing about the same thing now. Several you’s too. I’m just aware of them because of the d- Illumimation thing.”

Why did you say that?? Now they’re going to want to know-

“There’s multiple of us?” Tam looks at him over the rim of his glasses, half-smirking, “What, am I still a journalist?”

“Uhhh…” Well. “Of a sort. It’s hazy, but I think you worked for the media.”

Don’t say he got arrested, don’t say he got arrested, don’t say he got arrested for treason and left for dead, don’t say he used to look at you with admiration in his eyes, and that stupid overgrown haircut, don’t say you were jealous of the way he looked at Rosa, for God’s sake David you can keep your thoughts to yourself you stupid bastard.

“You guys have a media?”

Oh great, you’ve just made him more interested. Good job, jackass!

David tries to make a non-comital sound in the back of his throat. It comes out strangled. Zanna frowns at him as she sips her wine.

“Very… State-operated, if you get my drift.”

Tam, ever the journalist, has just opened his mouth to probe for more answers when Liz cuts him off. She has piled up the empty plates in her quadrant of the table. David hopes it isn’t obvious that he’s floundering, but from the fact that she’s diffusing the situation he has to accept that it probably is.

“Well, don’t leave us hanging – who were the rest of us,” she laughs, “who was I?”

You used to read me to sleep. You painted the walls of my bedroom green when I said the grey made me sad. You were the only person we knew who made things with her hands instead of Imagineering them. You went to the Dead Lands and made life. You were my –

 “You were a potter.”

Tam rolls his eyes,

“God, are we all boring?”

It makes him oddly defensive for some reason.

“Zanna worked at the librarium.”

You know the reason. You knew all of these people in a way they can never know. You’ve loved them every universe you’ve been alive in. You always will. They cannot know that. It would be too hard. It would make you cry, and the Fain don’t cry.

“Librarium?” Arthur asks, Bonny’s round face pouting over the edge of his plate, eyes focused on the sliver of ham across a moat of gravy. It’s safe for now, it’ll take at least another ten minutes for Bonnington to figure out that he can step up onto the table.

“It’s… basically a library, but the books are alive and it’s run by Henry Bacon.”

“Mr Bacon?” Lucy looks frankly appalled at the idea.

“A weird Fain Mr Bacon, yes. I think I – I think the other me was living there.”

“Like when Gwiliana kicked you out.”

David snorts. “Yeah, like the week from hell.”

He shakes his head, re-adjusts course, then looks back to Arthur. “We haven’t had physical books in over a hundred years – the librarium was where they all went, Henry-” he nods to the woman on his right, “-and Zanna kept them in order.”

He sips from his glass.

Probably a bad idea, you’ve been running your mouth all night. Shut up.

“They were bloody tricky bastards.”

Zanna looks at him oddly. Her brows are pinched but she doesn’t seem overtly disgusted with the idea. It’s possibly the first time she has been at least neutral on the discussion of the Fain.

On the discussion of who you are.

“You couldn’t have lived at a library. You would’ve made a pig’s ear of it.” Her voice is not cold – it’s a joke, probably. She thinks it’s funny.

“Oh, I did.” He pauses, tries to recall the details. The librarium is hazy for some reason.

He recalls Rosa and her kicker boots, lying in the grass by the well, firebirds overhead. He remembers being eleven, reading about pianists… then being… twenty? He decides not to poke around too hard in that gap, though its vastness is mildly concerning.

He worries that there is something there that is worse than not knowing.

You felt that way before. When you were first living at the Crescent. You had huge gaps in your childhood. Scattered dates and one or two fixed points. You don’t even know if that was real. You don’t know if you want it to be.

David swallows thickly, “I don’t… actually remember what happened while I was there – while he was there. But he must have been there about ten years – that’s what the memories tell me anyway.”

You wanted me to leave the librarium so I would stop distracting you. You made me daisy chain bracelets and we used to curl up in the hammocks together to read. There wasn’t enough room but I would race you to see who could finish their volume faster. You almost always won, but I paid more attention to the details. I never did understand what was meant to be more or less important – it was in the book, so it had to be relevant, right? Mr Henry said we complimented each other nicely.

David is vaguely aware that he has slipped into a long silence. He watches Tam glance across the table at Zanna. His fingers itch for that cigarette.

“There are two of us left wise guy.” Lucy says, finally pushing her plate away. She hasn’t touched the sprouts. She never does. “What did Arthur and I get up to?”

He pretends to think for a moment, leaning back in his seat. His plate still has a mound of mash and peas. It’ll get cold and start going soggy soon. He hasn’t felt hungry since he died. He’ll still eat it.

David rolls his shoulders.

“Arthur was a physicist – it goes over my head but I think it was something to do with time.” Arthur tips his head not unlike a dog. He would love more details but David isn’t lying when he says he doesn’t get it.

You were my dad. You worked a lot. You did a good enough job when I did see you.

“I think… you had a cool name. It’s on the tip of my tongue”

Lucy snorts. “Boring. Just me left!” She arches a curious eyebrow – the one with the carefully placed slit. “And I better be more interesting.”

This is vague too. She’s young – no, really young – and then she’s… less young? But still a little kid. There’s the same chasm in his memory.

How can I know she’s my sister and have no idea when she was born? How do I have no clue what happened after I left – is it just too close? Do I need to write it down?

At the thought of writing a familiar green snout noses its way into his head. Zookie sits on his desk, looking up at him expectantly. The little dragon taps his pencil on the edge of his pad in a way that betrays some irritation. I can’t believe you’re making me fish through your memories, he’s saying.

Nonetheless, Gadzooks scribbles down his answer, then flips the wire-bound book so David can decipher it.

Angel.

It makes his mouth go dry. What the hell did Lucy have to do with an angel, and why does it make him so uneasy? Zookie shrugs and, as he dissipates like smoke, David takes a long drink.

When he finally has enough sense about him not to melt into the carpet or storm off into the night and never return, he smiles at Lucy.

“You were the most boring child I’d ever met in my life. You liked maths.”

“I still like maths!” Lucy snaps, rolling her eyes. “I’m an engineering student!”

David shrugs, “You literally can’t get more boring, Luce.”

She lobs a pea at him and Liz starts gesturing at the two of them with her ladle. There’s the usual lecture about acting like adults, and how Lucy really should know better by now, but David isn’t listening. His eyes keep drifting to the window, out into the garden. He feels odd, though he can’t place it.

He shakes it off – talking about the Fain, delving into the memories of people who are him but not quite always has him disoriented afterwards – that’s all.

And whatever Gadzooks is on about will either happen or it won’t. He can dwell on it later. For right now, Tam is staring at him over the head of his beer – half empty. That seems a little more pressing than Zookie’s one-word puzzles.

-

“I’m gonna go take that smoke.” David says, already out of his seat by the time Zanna can send him a wayward glance. She still seems uneasy – she sees something in his face that she doesn’t like, her brows furrow further and she returns to her wine.

Liz sighs, but makes no move to stop him. “Just don’t throw the butt in the bushes,” she says, “I don’t want you setting all of Scrubbley on fire.”

“Will do.”

He sends her a mock salute, then dips around the door into the hallway.

Tam is three feet behind him when his hand is on the front door. “Figured you might need a lighter.”

David looks back to him before pushing the door open. “You are a shock Mr Farrell! A poet and a smoker – Liz will never approve.”

He gets a wry smile in response. “You started it – you’re the favourite ‘round here anyway. We can call you a bad influence on me.” He pats his jacket pocket – it’s the one with the tartan print lining that comes through at the hood and the cuffs. “Do you need that light or not?”

David pushes the door the rest of the way open, then stops it open with his weight.

“I think between us we should be able to manage.”

They sit on the brick wall that lines the entire front side of the Crescent. It’s perhaps a little too low even for David, but it beats standing around in the cold air, shifting your weight from foot to foot until the cigarette is biting your fingers.

Tam extracts a beaten-up silver lighter from his pocket, then fiddles with the latch for a moment. The cigarette resting on his lip wobbles as he swears, failing the ignition several times.

“No juice?”

He sighs.

“Not even a spark.”

David shrugs, “’s alright, I do have a back-up for when handsome journalists don’t have a lighter.”

He leans closer into Tam’s space, cupping his hands in a small bowl.

He had done this before – maybe not in this life, but the echoes of the action were strong enough that he could feel the order of operations like a phantom pain.

He felt vaguely that he was cupping his hands more to protect it from the wind than as a necessary motion. It would appear when he closed his eyes and thought it – dreamt it.

He conjured up the image of a small candle flame, the orange hue and white core, flickering slightly but solid enough in shape and colour.

Someone was talking over his shoulder – several someones, whispery and faint on the wind. The main voice was familiar enough – Liz, but not quite. He chooses to ignore the difference.

He feels the bright heat and the wobbling shape, forces it to become real, then David Rain opens his eyes.

It isn’t that impressive for a little light that has completely shattered several laws of physics. It looks more like David is hiding a birthday candle in his palms. A very small, very shit birthday candle. Been there, he thinks.

Tam, however, had clearly not been there. His eyes have gone wide, and the cigarette looks in serious danger of tumbling straight out of his mouth.

“Fuck me.” He mumbles.

“Not right now.” David says, raising his hands to his mouth.

The flame is real enough to catch, and David is soon offering his palms to Tam. He bends his head to accommodate the spark.  

Once the second cigarette is lit, David pulls his hands away from one another, extinguishing the light. Tam takes a drag, still staring wide-eyed over the rims of his glasses.

“Jesus fuck. Have you always been able to do that?”

David laughs. Have I, indeed.

“First time.”

“Christ.”

He takes a drag of the cigarette. Two men puffing smoke on the front door-step of the dragon-potter’s house – it was no wonder that rumours of real, scaly dragons have popped up in the neighbourhood. David imagines there might be more rumours of that calibre soon, but pushes it to the back of his mind.

“You had something to ask me.”

He considers denying it for a moment, then lets it go.

“I did.” Tam says, chewing over the next syllables in his head before he finally lets them loose, “Are you alright?”

-----

[David/Zanna. I hit early series David with the transgenderism beam. Zanna does David’s makeup, she has feelings about it. 1038 words. (31 December 2022… omg happy birthday ‘transes ur gender.docx’)]

It’s a joke.

It’s a joke.

Zanna has joked approximately a thousand times that he has the right face for makeup. That David has nice lashes and deep eyes and a just slightly soft jaw. He is indulging in the joke.

It means absolutely nothing, other than that he has a sense of humour.

In fact, it’s so funny that David is sat stock-still. Committing to the bit and allowing his partner to work her magic is going to make the outcome objectively so much funnier.

It’s a little bit secondary school sleepover – not the type that he’d ever been to, of course, there were a few more dicks and a bit less lip-gloss at those, but the thought remains – David perched on the edge of the bed, Zanna leaning tantalisingly into his space, a look of wicked concentration on her face.

He continues to avoid Zanna’s eyes. If he catches them then he’ll just start laughing, and then Zanna will start laughing, and then they’ll be a mess and the joke won’t get finished. Given the time she’s spent on his eye-shadow, it would be a shame at this point.

Lucy had never really been into makeup, or at least none of the fancy stuff. But she had found the idea of doing him up absolutely hysterical. She’d offered a hundred times but the thought had always struck something deep inside him – annoyance, was it? That she felt like he was a doll to practice on, maybe?

That she would absolutely fuck it up on purpose?

And considering the whole joke is that Zanna’s going to make him look like a girl, what would’ve been the point in fucking it up? They’ve already established that being overly serious is hilarious.

That looking convincingly like a girl when he’s not one is the peak of comedy. 

On the desk over Zanna’s shoulder, Zookie huffs. He twiddles the pencil between his paws, scaley eyebrows drawn together.

He flips the page and looks up at David. Whatever he was hoping to see, he does not, and the dragon shakes his head, tapping the book with some impatience.

Hmph, David thinks, if only you had some way to tell me things that we’ve used a dozen times. Or a language we both speak. What a crying shame.

“Alright?”

“Fine.” His voice is a little rough from disuse and nothing else. They have been sat in silence for quite some time.

“Sure?” a brush flicks around the corners of his eyes, “It’s not getting in your eyes, is it?”

“No.”

She snorts to herself, dropping the brush back into a basket of the bastards.

“You’re being very talkative, darling.”

“Sorry, I forgot I was meant to.”

“Relaxing when other people do your makeup, isn’t it?”

David hummed.

“Becca always falls asleep when I do hers. Nightmare when you’re meant to be going out somewhere.”

“Becca?” He tried to conjure an image of Zanna’s older sister in his mind. The result was a woman who was very much normal. Or at least, not someone who dresses remotely like her sister. “Isn’t your style a little… much for her?”

“Oi! She’s not boring, you know. And anyway, I can tone it down, and I am right now. I wasn’t aware you wanted me to make you a gothic princess, David.”

Oh, that might have been ni- funny, it would have been very funny.

It would have been nice to see himself in so much makeup because it would have enhanced how funny the entire situation was.

Which it is right now – funny.

When he doesn’t answer, Zanna knocks him gently with her elbow.

“I’m joking, you clod. You’ve got a perfectly normal face going on. The old ladies in Sainsbury’s will live.”

The idea of leaving the house like this – whatever this looks like – sends a jolt of ice down his spine. It’s an electric feeling that he doesn’t know how to place. It sits deep in his chest in a way that almost hurts. Somehow he’s not sure that it’s a bad hurt.

He forces himself to laugh, though it comes out a little mechanical. If Zanna notices, she is too busy trying to drag the eyeliner across his face in a straight line to comment.

“What’s the point then? Go big or go home, eh?”

-

“Et, voila! What d’you think?”

He looks himself in the eyes and a jolt of panic runs the entire way through his body.

Oh God.

It’s a thin pane of glass in the Pennykettle’s bathroom, but David is half convinced that if he reaches out, his hand will pass straight through the frame.

That’s not him. It can’t be.  

He watches himself crumple before he feels it happen, and once he cracks, the entire thing goes.

Zanna’s arm wraps around his middle, and she starts to pull him gently away from the mirror. David’s feet are cemented to the tile, they continue to stare over her shoulder at the reflection. They’re not convinced they could look away if they tried, as if some ancient magic has bound them to the spot, encased them in ice.

Their reflection is crying. Zanna brushes a hand through their hair carefully.  

“Hey.” She says softly. “We can take this off, if you want.”

She’s already leaning for the makeup wipes when David’s head shakes.

“It’s not that…” Their voice catches, much smaller than it ever has been before. “It’s not bad.”

Then what is it?

The eyeliner has tracked all the way down to David’s chin now, and Zanna wipes away the offending drop before it can stain their jumper. Only when she blocks the mirror fully from view does David look back to her.

“No?” she asks. She’s whispering, like this moment is something that could be broken by a raised voice. David’s not so sure that’s wrong. They find themself leaning minutely towards Zanna. “Then what is it?”

“That’s me.”

The waves finally crash to shore.

It washes over Zanna quickly, and David watches as the words hit them both full force. Her eyebrows arch, and the whites of her eyes widen around her dark irises. But just as quickly, any surprise is gone.

“Oh.” She whispers. “Oh, love.”

-----

[Tam vs Lucy. After winning at the battle of Isenfier, everyone bickers. Tam suffers. (yoinked from larger wip about the fallout of Isenfier) 576 words (June 2024)]

Tam blinked to clear his head. Right…

“The… cat.”

Lucy frowned in that vicious way that all teen girls seemed inherently skilled at.

“She’s a girl now: keep up, Tam!”

He raised his hands in mock-defence, “Right, sorry. And this girl is… our problem why, exactly?”

Lucy huffed again, as though she thought Tam was being particularly dense. Perhaps he was, but he rather thought he was owed a little more leniency on account of only recently having been un-buried-alive. God forbid he be a little behind on his dragon apocalypse lore.

“She’s one of us. She stays.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest and jutted her chin in Tam’s direction indignantly. “There’s room in the car, anyway.” She added, as though that was that.

Tam chose to ignore that this was his car, and that it was rapidly going to become a tight squeeze if they continued to adopt every miscreant they encountered in the West Country. Surely ‘Bella’ had family, somewhere? She hadn’t always been a cat - right? - and therefore didn’t really have to become their problem. Though, undeniably, it was difficult to argue with the rapidly deflating look on her face; if she started to cry Tam wasn’t sure he’d be able to argue. Perhaps someone could lay in the boot if it got too cramped. Maybe Zanna would do him a favour and knock him out before he had to do the tetris-ing himself.

“That’s very kind of you, Mr Tam.” Bella said, as if Tam had anything to do with the offer. Lucy gestured wildly and with finality to indicate that everything had, obviously, been sorted.

Zanna and David were exchanging looks to the side. “We’ll discuss this in the morning,” Zanna eventually settled on, “No one’s going back to Scrubbley tonight anyway.”

Lucy started.

“Why not? We have to tell mum that everything’s okay – she needs to know it worked and that the ix are gone and-”

David clapped her on the shoulder, having to look up a little to counteract Lucy’s lankiness.

“It’s fine, squirrel. We’re all going to have a chill evening to cool down from saving the world, and let Liz know over the phone not to expect us back yet-” He pat his chest, where the inner pocket of his jacket sat, and blanched. “With the phone I don’t have anymore… where the hell has that gone?”

David let go of Lucy’s shoulder and began to check the rest of his numerous pockets. It was a bizarre interpretation of the dance Tam’s father had done every few feet when he walked through an airport. After smacking enough of his clothing and finding them bereft of his beaten up mobile, David eventually gave up, slicking a hand through his hair and sending dust and soil through it in dark streaks.

“Well, that’s somewhere. Never mind, I’ll call her at the lodge.”

Tam patted at his own jeans and was, for a moment, fooled by a particularly hard wad of dirt. He was forced to admit that he too had lost his phone. It was going to be a damn pain to replace.

“There’s not going to be any electricity at the BnB. This entire place is shredded.” Tam said, as he certainly didn’t have a phone of his own to offer.

“I’m sure I can figure something out.” David said.

Zanna rolled her eyes.

“Why do I hate the sound of that?”

-----

[Sophie & Zanna, end/post book 2, reflecting on the whole ‘wait is this cheating??’ situation (no it’s not, it’s Zanna having a big gay crush on Sophie that she will never completely recover from/come to terms with). They should’ve made out 😔. 277 words (November 2024)]

“Sorry, I – I didn’t know. About you and David.” Once she’d said it, Zanna wasn’t strictly sure it was true. She’d known David had a girlfriend; she just hadn’t cared. It didn’t seem that David had either. She felt herself flushing at the thought, well aware that she’d been caught in the act.

“No harm no foul.” Sophie said, an easy smile on her cherry pink lips. Her eyes crinkled at the corners – the irises very blue, like syrup dripped through ice. She didn’t seem to care in the slightest that Zanna had been enabling her boyfriend to cheat on her. “I was on my way to break up with him officially and we were pretty much over in October. You’re not on my territory, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Sophie’s territory truly hadn’t concerned her at all – clearly – but Zanna still felt offbeat, an uncomfortable sweat building at her forehead. Sophie was far too calm about the entire affair, her straw blonde hair tied back in a ponytail low at the base of her neck, strands tickling her face. She brushed one away with her knuckles and brought her hand back to rest in her coat pocket. There was a security in the way she stood – relaxed, unbeaten by the breeze.

Zanna tucked a loose braid behind her ear, the beads and charms clinking in uneven tones.

“It wasn’t his idea.” She found herself saying regardless, feeling like a child at confession. “I kissed him first.”

Sophie’s eyebrows quirked curiously. Her smile widened, top lip curling away from her teeth. She inclined her head gently. “I would imagine so. He’s dreadfully slow with anything romantic.”

[yael-things]

?????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[xryosakeyx]

Alright I had to go handle with some stuff offline, so unfortunately I couldn't get around to actually publishing the fic today. But I promise to post it first thing tomorrow morning!

[candygemgem]

does anyone else who's mj medicated feel more high when ur like, off your meds, or is it just me

[omgeto]

people hear hear, I am about to post. so get excited I guess

[dexaroth]

every time i format my puter i always think yuuup got everything. this should be all. and then i forget things like browser extension data and the settings files for multiple programs and teensy tiny things that are always tucked into some nooks and crannies specifically made so you cant stumble into them

[fantastiqueparfait]

So much depends

upon an audio baby monitor on the side

table

beside the

sofa

(AKA one day you wake up and realize that you're squeezing hobbies into the 7:45 AM nap window and simultaneously praying the baby doesn't wake up while trying not to get distracted by emails about what shenanigans city council are getting into now and you realize... the boring kind of adulthood comes for us all)