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#and he talked a little about realizing he needed to be the sensitive and vulnerable person he was when he was little: that that kid was good
mypoisonedvine · 2 months
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𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫 | angus tully x reader
sequel to 𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲, won't really make much sense without reading that!
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | holiday break can only last so long, but angus wants this to be more than a fling-- and you, as much as you want to deny it, already know it's more than a fling. the question remains if either one of you will admit it.
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 5.3k
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | SMUT (18+ only!!), age gap (not huge but angus is 18 and the reader is just out of college), semi-public sex, breeding kink, very inappropriate activities in a church, secret relationship, a wee bit of angst and fluff at the end!
part 3 coming soon!
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“Fuck, I don’t wanna go back,” he groaned, dropping his head defeatedly into the crook of your neck.  “I never wanna go back to that horrible fucking school.”
“I guess you’ll just see me at Easter break then, huh?” you purred, grazing your teeth over his ear.
“You know, if sex with you keeps lining up with the Catholic calendar, it’s gonna give me a complex or something,” he noticed.
“Oh, I can do better than that,” you beamed.  “Next time you see me at Mass, I won’t be wearing any panties.  And you’ll be the only other one who knows.”
He perked up again, balancing himself over you with bent arms against the mattress.  “I swear, you’re a dream come true.  A really fucked up dream I had after seeing a porno mag or something.”
You laughed, but it was cut off with him pulling you into another kiss— sweet and slow, with both of you smiling against each other.  With your limbs tangled together under the sheets, you melted together into your bed; and no, none of it really seemed real yet.  Every time this happened, you couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that you were hooking up with Angus Tully.  Frankly, you were sort of trying not to think about it, at least not too much.  If you really tried, you could look at his face and see the little kid you babysat all those years ago, and it just made you feel sort of awful about it… yet you couldn’t bring yourself to stop.
Your smile fell into a gasp when he started to kiss your neck, his hands guiding your back as it arched slightly.  When he pressed his body against yours, you felt him getting hard against your leg, and you groaned softly.
“Fuck, Angus, again?” you whined.  “We already went twice—”
“I’m leaving in two days,” he explained, “I need you as many times as I can get away with it.”
You wanted to protest, say something about how sore you were or about how he needed to leave and go back home before someone noticed he was gone— but his slender fingers were already diving between your legs and making you just moan instead.
“See?  You’re wet already,” he noticed with a playful mockery to his tone.  “I’ve gotta take care of you, baby…”
Oh, you couldn’t stand it when he talked like that— when he made you feel so vulnerable to him, so paradoxically submissive.  When this started a couple weeks back, it was the other way around: you were the cool, older woman with all the power.  You told him what you wanted and he was more than happy to oblige, never questioning you— he was obedient, basically.  But once you’d had a few more encounters, he realized that you wanted him just as badly… that he could make you desperate, if he wanted.  Once he’d had the smallest taste of control, he was suddenly a changed man; now, he loved to tease and taunt you, see how far he could push you, even once he made you beg— and you expected you’d never get to live that down. 
He watched your face with a mischievous smile as he slowly slid two fingers into you, watching the way you winced and then relaxed.  “I’ll be careful,” he promised, “I know you’re all sensitive still… thought you might wake up the whole house with that last one.”
You rolled your eyes, but your cheeks flushed, remembering how he’d had to cover your mouth with his hand when he made you come.  These were issues you hadn’t considered much before, since you spent most of the year living in a dorm where you didn’t really care if anyone heard what you were up to.  Staying in your parents’ house again— and secretly fucking their friends’ son in your childhood bedroom— posed new challenges to say the least.
You gasped when his fingers curled inside you, rubbing that spot that made everything clench for a moment.  “Mm,” he observed encouragingly, “like that?”
“Yes,” you hissed under your breath.  Just when you began to let your eyes fall shut, they shot open when he added a third finger inside you.  “Fuck!” 
“Oh, don’t be dramatic,” he scolded, “you can fit three fingers just fine— my cock’s bigger than all that anyways.”
He twisted the fingers inside you as your hips rocked, shivers running over your skin.  “Yeah, but still— fuck, it’s a lot…”
“You take it just fine,” he assured.  “You take whatever I give you, huh?”
“Sh-shut up,” you whimpered, and he laughed softly.
“You’re so good for me,” he continued anyways, making you bite your lip in hopes he wouldn’t notice his effect on you.  Whenever he said stuff like that, you just wanted to ask him who the fuck he thought he was— it made you want to shove him off of you and pin him down, remind him of his place.  But you never did, because letting him take control always felt so damn good…
His head dipped down a bit under the covers— and his lips latched onto one of your nipples, making you gasp and grab his hair with one of your hands.  “Oh god— yes,” you praised, shuddering a bit as he suckled hard on the bud.
He moaned around it, his free hand holding the other breast and keeping you down even when your back longed to arch deeper.  “You get so wet when I do this,” he noticed as he pulled away briefly, moving to suck the other for a moment as his fingers gently pumped into you.  When he pushed them in all the way to the knuckle, at the same time that his tongue swirled around your nipple just right, your patience finally gave in.
“Just fuck me,” you begged, tugging harder on his curls as you felt him smile against your skin.  “God, I just— fuck—”
He pulled away from your breast with a pop and a grin.  “Just ask nicely, baby, and I’m all yours.”
“I know you want to, just fuck me,” you growled, but he shook his head and you clenched your jaw.
“You can say it,” he encouraged, “just use the magic word.”
You rolled your eyes, hating the juvenile way of describing it, but his fingers were still moving inside you and you just needed it too bad— “Please,” you breathed.  “Please fuck me.”
“There you go,” he praised, slowly pulling his drenched fingers out of you and moving his hips to line up with yours instead.  He was so hard; you were almost impressed with his resolve, though at the moment you were mostly just annoyed with it.  “Look up at me,” he demanded, making you meet his gaze before he pushed himself inside you.
It was almost too intense, looking right into his eyes as he thrust into you carefully— you bit your lip, watching the heavy sigh of relief leave him as he filled you.
“Fuck,” he whispered, his eyes scanning all over your face and watching your expression change as he pressed his cock as deep as possible.  “You’re fucking perfect.”
You didn’t really believe that, but you at least would concede that this moment was perfect.
You held tighter onto him, legs wrapping around his hips, as he leaned in closer and moaned against your neck.  “How am I supposed to leave when you feel this fucking good?” he groaned lowly, and you felt yourself already beginning to pulse inside as you moved closer to the edge.  “I feel good too, right?”
Poor thing— if only he knew that it was his own fault you withheld praise, just because he sounded too precious when he asked you for reassurance like that.  He was really fucking talkative, way more than you expected; sometimes you thought if you didn’t say anything, he’d just go off on these wild tangents about how bad he needs you.  “You feel good,” you replied, trying to keep it a little vague so he’d ask for more.
“How good?” he asked with a grin, and you smiled, too, because he was wonderfully predictable sometimes.
“So good,” you cooed, “so fucking good that I’m gonna come way too fast.”
“Hey, that’s my thing,” he joked.  His stamina had definitely increased a lot in just a few encounters, but he still had a habit of coming quickly if you got him a bit too riled up.  Not that you really minded… it was still cute, after all, and he usually made it up to you one way or another.
He picked up his pace, letting out a low moan against your ear.  “Tell me you want me to come inside you,” he ordered, panting with each quick thrust.
“Fuck, Angus, I want you come,” you replied, whispering against his ear.  “I want you to fill me—”
“Fuck…”
“And put all your come so deep in me—”
“Fuck, baby,” he whined again.  “I’m so fucking close.”
You whined, running your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, feeling your chest get tighter as you moved closer to the edge.
“Tell me you want me to breed you,” he added; okay, so much for predictable…
“Wh-what?” you choked, feeling suddenly hot all over.  “Angus, I—”
“I know, you won’t,” he soothed, “it’s just, you know, pretend… just say you want it, please.”
You swallowed but nodded, holding on tighter to the back of his neck.  “I… I want you to get me pregnant.”
“God, yes,” he whined through his teeth, fucking you faster.
“I-I want you to fill me up so I can have a baby,” you continued in a whisper, and he moaned again as his grip on your hips tightened.  You could hardly believe what you were saying, nor that he had asked you to say it, and yet it made the most wonderfully bizarre feeling stir inside you— strangest of all, it was turning you on.  “F-fuck, Angus, I’m gonna come.”
“You’re gonna come with me?” he pressed, sighing when you nodded.  “Fuck, let’s do it— we’ll come together.  That’ll definitely get you pregnant.”
“Jesus, Angus,” you hissed, “what are you talking about?”
“It doesn’t get you hot, thinking about it?” he challenged.  “Thinking about us making a baby right now?  Imagining how good it would feel to let me breed you and make you a mommy?”
“Sh-shut the fuck up,” you grunted, but you were already trying to hold it back.
“God, you want it so bad,” he noticed— how was he only this perceptive in these sorts of situations?  “You want me to come in you and knock you up, I can tell.  You’re gonna come just thinking about it.”
Even though it wasn’t really just thinking about it— it was him fucking you deep and fast and hard after a whole night of making love— you were forced to bite your lip and nod.
“C’mon, baby, I wanna feel it again,” he purred.  “Feels so fucking perfect when you come around me— you’re mine, aren’t you?”
Your heart jumped and your eyes shut tight.  “God,” you groaned in frustration, but he just smiled and held you tighter.
“It’s okay,” he cooed, “nobody has to know, it’s just me— you’re mine, right?  Say it.  Say you’re mine.”
You whined when it hit you— and nothing had ever hit you quite like that.  Tensing up inside, pulsing uncontrollably, you felt the weight on your chest lift and you dug your nails into his shoulders as he fucked you through it.  “Fuck!  I-I’m yours!” you blurted out, unable to stop it when you were drowning in your ecstasy like that.
He swore against your ear, and gave you hardly one more thrust before falling over the edge himself, groaning weakly as his body sank down onto yours.
You hoped against all odds that he wouldn’t force you to address any of what you’d just said; he looked so exhausted that you almost wanted to let him fall asleep here if it meant avoiding that conversation.  But it was just like him to only give you about ten seconds of silence before running his mouth again.
He started by just sitting up enough to kiss you on the cheek, then the lips, then the side of your forehead when you turned away.  “That was so hot,” he announced, still catching his breath, as he grinned down at you.
“That was… different,” you admitted as you hoped your embarrassment wouldn’t show on your face.  “You weren’t serious, right?  I mean, you know I’m on the pill—”
“Yeah, of course,” he assured, “it’s just, I don’t know, a fantasy.”
You raised an eyebrow as you looked at him.  “Respectfully, I thought it was more of a nightmare— you know, it’s kinda worst-case-scenario here.”
“No, no, I know— that’s why it’s fun,” he explained.  “‘Cause it’s, like, bad.  Well, not bad, but… scary.  In a good way!  Like a rollercoaster or something.”
“Yeah, sure,” you scoffed, “just like a rollercoaster.  That’s why the maternity ward at the hospital looks so much like Six Flags.”
“You know what I mean,” he laughed.  “It’s just… if it actually happened it would be a huge fucking deal… but just imagining it, just for fun I mean, it makes my heart race.  See?”
He picked up one of your hands and put it on his neck, pressing your fingers into his pulse so you could feel its rapidness.  “Fair enough,” you shrugged, “you sure scared the crap out of me for a second.”
“You liked it,” he cooed, kissing the tip of your nose.  “You like being mine, too.”
Even if you could’ve hid the reaction on your face somehow, the way your weak muscles still found the energy to clench around his softening cock gave you away; he purred as he smiled, kissing you more tenderly on the lips this time.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered to you.
“I probably look like a mess,” you laughed quietly, “I don’t even want to know what my hair looks like after a night like this.”
“Yeah, that’s how I like you, though— you look pretty all fucked up,” he explained.
You glanced over as he moved to bury his face in your neck again, only to see the slightest blue glow in the window: the early light just before dawn.  “Angus, it’s almost morning,” you noticed.  “You need to go.”
“Not yet,” he begged, hugging you tighter.  “I bet I can make you come again—”
“No,” you snapped, “if your parents find out you snuck out— and if anyone knows you came here—”
“Baby, c’mon,” he pouted, “I’ll be quick, nobody’s gonna know—”
“I swear to god, Angus—”
“Fine, fine,” he sighed, “then just kiss me before I go.”
He held your cheek and turned your face to his, and you kissed him; you hated these kisses, the ones that felt like goodbye.  They were amazing, of course, but they always broke your heart.
“I’ll see you later?” he assumed.
“You’ll see me on Sunday,” you replied.
“Nooo, I can’t wait that long,” he whined.
“Yes you can,” you breathed.  “Now get up, please, before I have to literally kick you out.”
“Fine,” he relented, climbing off of you and searching the floor for his boxers and t-shirt.
“I still can’t believe you ran here without even putting a coat on,” you remembered, “it’s below freezing out.”
“Whatever, it’s not even a block to my house,” he rolled his eyes.
“Mr. Lindy across the street takes out the trash insanely early in the morning— what if he sees you running back to your house in the snow without any fucking clothes on?!” 
“He was young once, right?  He’ll understand,” Angus laughed.
“I’m hoping he doesn’t understand,” you groaned, “‘cause if he figures it out and tells my parents—”
“I know,” he breathed, slipping on his shoes and leaning over the bed to kiss you quickly.  “It’ll be fine, okay?”
“Okay,” you smiled back.
There was a brief pause before Angus dropped his arms down against his sides, hitting his legs; “Well, I… guess I’ll see you at Mass,” he announced.
“That’s gotta be the weirdest thing to say after hooking up with somebody,” you decided.
“I couldn’t think of anything else!” he defended.  “I’m about to jump out your window, it’s already a pretty weird transition.”
“Okay, first of all, please don’t jump,” you replied, “but fair enough.  I’ll see you at Mass.”
He hesitated, suddenly giving you one more kiss— one that lingered a little more— before opening your window and beginning to climb out.
~
Mass was certainly a lot more interesting when you kept feeling Angus’ eyes on you.  His family had been just barely on time for the service, so you hadn’t been able to talk to him before it started; you could tell he was dying to know if you’d gone through with it.
You tugged on the bottom of your dress as you adjusted yourself in the pew; it was definitely a weird feeling, and you couldn’t stop worrying that someone, somehow, would see up your skirt and get an eyeful.  The anxiety of it was oddly arousing, though— it made you understand a bit better what Angus had said about the whole scary in a good way thing.
When you occasionally spared a glance at him, you noticed that Angus still looked a little underslept; you’d both been up all night just a couple days ago, but the difference was that your parents didn’t really mind if you spent most of the next day in your room, so you’d had a chance to catch up— Angus’ parents were more determined to make use of his time off from school, and had him doing all kinds of chores and activities on Saturday that prevented him from getting more than a quick nap here and there.
And they’d tugged him out of bed bright and early for church today, so he was probably still feeling the effects of an all-nighter.  That said, he certainly didn’t seem lacking in energy at the moment— he kept wringing his hands, constantly glancing at you, so noticeably that his mom lightly smacked him on the shoulder when she noticed it.
But you were looking across the aisle at him, too.  If for no other reason than how cute he looked in his shirt and tie.
After the service, as everyone mingled around coffee and donuts, Angus made a beeline towards you— you’d kind of hoped he would be a little more subtle.
“Hey,” he greeted, and you just nodded at him with a smirk.  “It’s been too long.”
He glanced at all the people passing by, stepping closer to you to let someone walk past but never moving back; he waited until no one was too close before he spoke again in a lower voice.
“Are you really not wearing any…?” he asked, an extra sparkle in his eye and a mischievous smile on his face.  His smile dropped a bit when you nodded, though, and his eyes raked over you in the most intoxicating, lascivious way.  You were sure you’d never had someone look at you like that, like they’d give anything to devour you right then— and with no panties to hold it, you felt your arousal slicken where your thighs rubbed together.
He cleared his throat and glanced over his shoulder, making sure no one was looking over at him as he adjusted his corduroys awkwardly; you licked your lips, a little too flattered by the effect you had on him.
“That’s, um, that’s…” he mumbled, tripping over his words.  “That’s really… yeah.”
“Really what?” you challenged as you bit your lip briefly, moving closer to him and all but batting your eyes up at him.
“It’s really fucking sexy,” he whispered.
“Yeah?” you cooed.  “I think it’s sexy that you think it’s sexy.”
“I haven’t stopped thinking about—” he began.
“I know,” you sighed, “me too.”
“I wasn’t even tired that day— I was wired, actually,” he laughed quietly.  “I just… I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
Your heart’s pace picked up a bit, and you glanced away briefly.  “I, um… I thought about you, too.
“There’s gotta be somewhere we can go,” he whispered.  “It’s a big place— everyone’s here, if we just… found an empty room—”
“Jesus, Angus— in a church?!” you hissed.
“Come on,” he begged, “I don’t know when we’ll get a chance again— and I’m leaving tomorrow— and I want you so bad—”
“Shh,” you warned him, making sure no one was nearby again.  “We’ll figure something out— just not here.  It’s too risky.”
“But I need you now,” he insisted, voice lower and darker as he stepped just a bit closer to you.  “It won’t take us long— I mean, it definitely won’t take me long, after spending the last two days thinking about you.”
You crossed your arms, looking down at the floor, and you felt him lean in over you.  “Please, baby?” he whispered under his breath.
Releting, you took a glance at the crowd and made sure nobody was looking in your direction.  “You go find an empty room in the east wing.  I’ll talk to a few people— so it doesn’t look like we’re going together— and I’ll come find you in a few minutes, okay?”
“Great,” he beamed.  “Uh, which way is east again?”
You pointed him in the right direction and watched him bound away, sighing to yourself as you re-entered the crowd.  You got a lot of questions about your plan now that you finished your degree— and you found yourself repeating the same stock answer about how your graduate program didn’t start until the fall so you had the spring and summer to stay home.  Even though you knew you needed to kill some time to look less suspicious, you found yourself glancing constantly towards the east wing, getting more and more impatient for your chance to slip away as unnoticed as possible.
As the crowd was clearing out and nearly everyone’s attention was turned onto somebody’s new baby, you took the opportunity to disappear into the dark hallway.  As you peered around the doors, you saw Angus peeking out at you through one of the little windows; the door opened, and you slipped into an abandoned Sunday school classroom, barely having time to gingerly shut the door behind you before you felt his lips on your neck and his hand sliding up your thigh.
“That took forever,” he complained, and before you could remind him it had hardly been five minutes, his fingers were exploring between your legs.  “Fuck, what’re you so wet for?” he teased, and you groaned as you pulled him closer by his pants and hopped up to sit on the low bookshelf nearby.
“Just hurry up,” you hissed, “we need to get this over with before somebody finds us here.”
He opened his fly quickly, but struggled slightly to free himself from the confines of his trousers; you hummed a bit when he got it out, pressing it against you right away as you moved your hips up.
Thrusting into you all at once, you both sighed slowly; you took hold of his shoulders, he grabbed onto your hips, and instantly he began to fuck into you impatiently.
“God, you’re so tight,” he hissed against your ear.  “Touch yourself— I want you to come, too.”
You reached between your bodies to put a few fingers on your clit, rubbing fast in hopes that you could catch up with him.
“Do you always do what you’re told?” he mocked playfully.
“I think the fact that we’re doing this right after church proves that I don’t,” you replied.
“Guess you only do what I tell you to,” he shrugged, which really made you want to talk back, but you couldn’t because you were trying not to moan too loudly.
He moved faster inside you, and something about the angle of sitting up on the shelf was making him hit just the right spot— or maybe you were sensitive from the exhilarating fear of getting caught.
“What if I got you pregnant here?” he purred, making you arch your back slightly.  “Wouldn’t that be funny?”
“You’ve got a weird sense of humor, Tully,” you breathed, struggling not to let your voice come out all whiny and weak.
“Knocked up at St. Mary’s… it’s what God would want, right?”
“Do you never shut up?” you hissed.
“No,” he smirked, “you’re cute when you’re ticked off at me.”
His eyes met yours, and you felt a strange emotion stir in your chest: you bit your lip, willing yourself to tear away from his gaze, but you found it impossible somehow.
One of his hands moved from your hip up to your chest, palming at you through your dress.  You tensed up inside, making him wince a bit, and you couldn’t believe how close you were already.
“Oh god, baby, m’gonna come,” you whimpered, moving your hand even faster over your clit; he groaned in approval, leaning in to kiss all along your neck.
“Come for me,” he pleaded, “I’m so fucking close— please come, fuck—”
“R-right there,” you gasped, gripping his shoulder tighter— actually, that wasn’t the only place you were gripping him tighter.  He was struggling to maintain the pace of his thrusts, in fact, with how hard your walls were bearing down on him.  “Yes, yes, yes—”
“Not too loud,” he warned you, and you bit hard on your own lip to suppress your moan: it stayed in your throat instead, and you heard him gasp as he heard and felt you reaching your peak.  He had to take his hand off your chest and put it on the bookshelf under you to help keep you upright, and he looked down between your bodies to watch himself give you a few final thrusts.
He stopped suddenly, whimpering slightly as he buried himself in you as deep as he could go; you sighed and laid back on the bookshelf again, having to tilt your head to avoid a figurine of some prophet or saint that you had absolutely no interest in identifying at the moment.
Angus took a moment to catch his breath, before looking back over his shoulder and through the door’s window to make sure no one was in the hallway.  He pulled his cock out of you carefully and did his best to fit it back into his pants.  As you felt a warm oozing feeling between your legs, your face began to heat up.
“Maybe I didn’t think this through,” you realized.
“What?” he mumbled.
“I’m gonna have to go out there with nothing on under my dress, with your come leaking out of me.”
He bit his lip.
“It’s not sexy, Angus!  It’s very inconvenient!” you frowned.
“It’s both,” he insisted.  “It’s very much both.”
~
Though you did get another chance to see Angus before he left, it wasn’t that sort of rendezvous, unfortunately.  Although, just sitting and talking with him was wonderful, too— in an entirely different way.  See, that was the thing that scared you most, even more than how badly you’d come to crave his touch: how happy you felt just being with him.
He was funny, and weird, and seemed to think your stories from college were fascinating; he was well-read, especially for a high school student, and you two could chat about your favorite books— a hobby most of your classmates in college found too nerdy to sympathize with.  
It probably looked totally wholesome from the outside: two childhood friends catching up while they were back home for a while.  And you, you probably looked normal and cool on the outside— you were trying to, at least.  But inside, you were terrified.  You wanted it to be like what Angus said— scary, in a good way, like a rollercoaster— but you were starting to just feel sick.  You know, like an actual rollercoaster would…
“Everyone there is so… dumb,” Angus decided as he leaned back, looking up at the ceiling.
“That can’t be true, it’s a good school,” you tried to encourage him.
“I mean, maybe they could be smart, but they act like morons,” he clarified.  “They hate me, too, and I don’t even really know why.”
“Probably because they can sense that you think they’re all morons,” you suggested; and he looked over at you, as if he’d genuinely never thought of that before.
But instead of addressing that, he sat up again and changed the subject.  “My parents probably want me to go back and, like, put my trunk in the car and stuff…”
“Right,” you nodded, “you should go.”
“Yeah— b-but, listen, um, before I do…” he trailed off, leaning a little closer to you on the couch.  “I wanted to, you know, talk.  About something.”
“We’ve been talking for half an hour,” you noticed.
“Right, uh— I meant something specific,” he explained, his cheeks seeming to get a little bit more pink.  “I… I won’t be back until spring break, you know…”
“Uh huh,” you nodded, raising an eyebrow as you wondered what he was getting at.
“And, you know, we’ve been having such a great time,” he went on, and your heart twisted.  You’d heard this spiel before: the things are so good now, why do we need to put a label on it? why can’t we just have fun talk.  The you’re great, but not good enough for more than this talk.  You decided to jump in and spare him before he said anything too… honest.
“I get it,” you promised, and he looked at you nervously.  “We’re gonna be too far apart for too long— and you shouldn’t, you know, feel like you’re tied down to anything.  It’s okay— I didn’t think I was, like, your girlfriend or anything.”
“R-right,” he coughed, looking away and putting his hand on the back of his neck.  “Yeah, that’s— that’s what I was gonna say.  I knew you’d understand.”
You smiled, wishing you weren’t always so goddamn understanding.  “But it was fun— a good way to kill time over the break, for sure.”
“Yeah,” he agreed alongside a thin laugh.  “I… I think I’ll always owe you, for being my first time and all.”
“Well, you’ve certainly spent your first two weeks of not being a virgin pretty well,” you snorted.  “I had a good time.  We’ll call it even.”
“And… when I come back?” he pressed.  “Maybe we can, I dunno… maybe we can do it again.”
You grinned and tilted your head.  “Yeah, I like that idea.”
“But can I still call you?” he asked nervously.
“Of course!” you beamed.  “You’ll have to tell me if you get any good books assigned this semester.”
“Yeah, I doubt it,” he scoffed, but his smile lifted just a bit.
“I can come see you off, if you want,” you offered, “but it might make your mom suspect something…”
“You’re probably right,” he admitted, “I wish you weren’t, but you are— but I’ll call first thing when I get there!”
You smiled, and he gave you a hug before he left; and he promised to call again, though you’d believed him the first time.  And the next time you stayed up all night with Angus, it was on the phone— he snuck out of bed with a bag of quarters, and told you the phone was free so you wouldn’t feel bad, and talked to you about everything he could possibly think of.
Except, you didn’t quite make it all night: you fell asleep at some point, while he was talking about his English paper… not that he could blame you.
And for some reason, one that even he himself couldn’t quite explain, he kept feeding the phone quarters and listening to you sleep; he didn’t hang up until it was nearly morning and he had to sneak back into his room.
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ju1cyfru1t · 8 months
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Y/N’s guide of an ornate box turtle mutant
fluff :)
(Rise!Mikey x reader)
gn reader, romantic leaning but can be read as platonic
In which Mikey stumbles upon your documentation on himself.
Donnie’s version Leo’s version Raph’s version
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☻Subject of interest
Ornate Box turtle mutant; humanoid turtle man
Special note: subject appears to have developed several personas
☻ Diet:
Pizza, sweets (favors cupcakes), fruits, Dr.Pepper (likes to try new things; bring specimen new snacks?)
☻ Likes:
Orange, baking + cooking, stickers (reminder: buy goo gone), painting, emotional vulnerability (Donnie warns; be cautious of ‘Dr.Feelings’), horror films, romance films (subject cries?), cuddling (nts: subject holds tight), helping others (even if they don’t deserve it, not going to name any names they know who they are), Jupiter Jim (movies, comics, games)
☻ Dislikes:
Being snuck up on (will cause turtle to refuse to come out of shell), lying, seeing people sad (note: subject is concerningly good at reading emotions),
——> subject does not seem to dislike many things. subject is very, strangely optimistic.
☻ Tail language ❌leave tail alone, do not startle the subject.(will hide in shell) he is sensitive and sassy❌
twitching rapidly: threatened, scared, upset. not very common, but can soothe turtle with (gentle) shell scratches.
wagging: excited, happy, energetic. typically while talking about Jupiter Jim? and other likes? (see above) (tip: will increase w/ shell scratches)
still and loose: relaxed, sad. very rare, specimen is very energetic, only relaxed when asleep. sad turtle most soothed by being held???
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Mikey smiled happily to himself, laying on his plastron in his room. He read your words carefully, really taking it in. You really have this crime-fighting silly little ninja giggling and kicking his feet.
It just felt so good knowing you cared so much about him. Not that he didn’t know before, but it’s always nice to be reminded just how much you really, truly did. Him. Not Leo, or Donnie, or Raph. Just him.
Of course Mikey had noticed you acting a little sketchy around him, and had even asked you what was up but with the same response of nothing every time. He was a little relieved this was all it was.
The guilt slowly poured into him as he realized this was probably a violation of your privacy. His curiosity got the better of him when he saw the folder in your backpack with his name on it after you left it in his room. He totally betrayed your trust!
After some very nervous thought, he knew he needed to make it up to you somehow…right?
——————————————————————————
☻Subject of interest
Ornate Box turtle mutant; humanoid turtle man
Special note: subject appears to have developed several personas. such as Dr.Delicate Touch, Dr.Feelings, and Dr.Positive. what does this mean? is this normal? Of course!
☻ Diet:
Pizza, sweets (favors cupcakes), fruits, Dr.Pepper (likes to try new things; bring specimen new snacks?) Oooh, I’ll make you a list!
☻ Likes:
Orange my life color, thank you, baking + cooking, stickers (reminder: buy goo gone) you took them off? D:, painting it’s easy when I have such a beautiful muse!, emotional vulnerability (Donnie warns; be cautious of ‘Dr.Feelings’) Whaaat? Donnie doesn’t know what he’s talking about anyway.>:( horror films, romance films (subject cries?) They’re just so sweet!, cuddling (nts: subject holds tight), helping others (even if they don’t deserve it, not going to name any names they know who they are) it’s what I do, baby! Jupiter Jim (movies, comics, games)
☻ Dislikes:
Being snuck up on (will cause turtle to refuse to come out of shell) I like when you carry me Ha ha very funny, lying, seeing people sad (note: subject is concerningly good at reading emotions), (to be continued???)
——> subject does not seem to dislike many things. subject is very, strangely optimistic. Dr.Positive will see you now!
☻ Tail language ❌leave tail alone, do not startle the subject.(will hide in shell) I can’t help it! he is sensitive Nuh uh and sassy❌
twitching rapidly: threatened, scared, upset. not very common, but can soothe turtle with (gentle) shell scratches. I agree, the subject would like that very much.
wagging: excited, happy, energetic. typically while talking about Jupiter Jim? and other likes??? (see above) (tip: will increase w/ shell scratches) Maybe you should test that hypothesis again! Just to be sure. ;D
still and loose: relaxed, sad. very rare, specimen is very energetic, only relaxed when asleep. sad turtle most pacified by being held??? Again, you should probably continue to test that theory.
Beautiful work! But, I would keep in close contact with the subject. You know, for research purposes.
Love you!
- Mikey🧡
p.s. I’m really sorry for looking through your stuff
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TYSM FOR READING🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
3 DOWN 1 LEFT 🤺
(also I’m still working on requests, and they are still open)
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despicablebisexual · 6 months
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just thinking about being the one person bruno contemplates giving up the gang life for...
bruno x gn!reader, smut, MDNI, angst, cw: minor amount of violence and gore
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somehow, he was back, and bruno didn't ask any questions when giorno was there to welcome him back from whatever place he had been
giorno just silently cried, a rare show of emotional vulnerability from the young teenager
so, bruno decides to live this time, live like he'd never have another second chance again
and of course, the first thought that comes to mind is finally asking out the beautiful worker from the small bakery right around the corner
he's seen you for months, carefully decorating intricate cakes, biting your lip as you finally nail the design you've been working on for months, but he's never bothered to approach since he figured that him being a mafioso would rightfully scare you off
but, he's been miraculously granted another chance and he knows he must take it
so he walks in one day, a single flower held behind his back, and confidently asks if you're available
and of course, you all but shout that you'll go out with him
the gorgeous mafioso that had captured your attention so many months ago, but then disappeared out of the blue for several weeks had finally asked you out, and you weren't going to waste this chance
but, he's a mafioso, a man with an insurmountable amount of money, which scares you (as does his profession)
you, the keeper of a small-time bake shop
you're expecting him to show up in a fancy sports car and take you for a spin on the wild side, show you a life completely different from yours
but, he manages to surprise you when he knocks on your door the next night, dressed casually in a gray sweater and black jeans, and tells you he's packed a picnic for you two to enjoy out on the beach
the sun sets over the two of you as you enjoy a full on buffet that he insists was fully prepared by him (you have your suspicions)
it's a wonderful first date, the pinks and oranges reflecting off the glistening water and in bruno's deep blue eyes while he talks
he's equal parts a great listener and a great talker, filling in all the gaps when you're not sure what to say
all the rumors from the older women around town stating he was quite the catch are true, you realize that night
and when he kisses you for the first time, you know you're going to fall completely head over heels for him
several months pass by and bruno's got the world in his hands
he's the underboss of italy's biggest crime syndicate
he's got more money than he could ever hope for
he's got a loyal crew always ready to stand by his side
but most importantly,
he's got you...
you, his wonderful partner whom he loves with all his heart
over the course of the beginning of your relationship, he'd be insistent you stayed away from everything pertaining to Passione
even though it stood for something better now, aiming to cleanse the streets of italy from the filthy drug trade, it's still a dangerous place to be caught up in
especially with you not having a stand
no one has ever met you, and they never will
(well, giorno knows OF you... bruno thought it best to at least tell giorno considering he's the boss, but he didn't even need to. giorno knew immediately what was going on once he noticed how many times bruno came back to the Passione headquarters with little treat bags from your shop)
anyway, he keeps you tucked away
far from any prying eyes, any danger, and far, far away from anything related to stands
he wanted your love to be authentic, one-of-a-kind, something they'd write about in books one day, not tainted with the poison that is mafia life
and your love certainly felt that way
each time he made love to you, it was like the heaven's aligned
the taste of you was enough to drive him wild, he'd spent countless hours professing his love to you by kissing and sucking eagerly at your most sensitive parts between your thighs
he'd praise you constantly for your seemingly divine beauty, and how blessed he felt to be the one to receive your affection, especially when you were knelt between his legs
but, he'd fight an internal battle each time he was with you
the angel on his shoulder would direct him to lay you down gently and put on slow r&b while he lazily thrust into you, not even bothering to focus on his own pleasure but instead just on yours
the gentle sound of your moans and sighs and professions of love like music to his ears
but the devil on his shoulder, the one that made him the ruthless mafioso he was, would constantly tell him to give in to your demands and mercilessly fuck into you while your nails scratched down his back
the oh-so welcome sound of you screaming and gasping out how good it felt to be the object of his desire
yes, it was a dilemma he struggled with indeed
but at the end of each night, when you two were laid on top of the sheets, catching your breath after an all too long love-making session
bruno would smile into your hair, so perfectly content in those moments
no mafia, no stands, no acting as the righteous hand of Passione
just you
just you, with your bruno
he'd struggle for months, tossing and turning at nights
giorno brought him back to fulfill his duty, to help him with his cause
and girono was more than a boss
he was his friend, his precious comrade who he owed his life to (literally)
but you were this perfect thing, this beautiful, innocent being that gave him a new way to live
he was no longer the traitorous gangster he once was, he was someone you said you'd want to spend the rest of your life with
someone to taste test all the new cake flavors, someone to walk alongside of in the setting sun, someone to have and to hold
he'd walk in and out of the finest jewelers in italy, searching for the one ring that would be perfect
and it'd be a heavy weight in his pocket on the day he finally found it in Milan
he knew your ring size already, having got the measurements while you slept
(sticky fingers might have helped by zipping off your finger for a second)
he'd basically skip down the street, intent on making his way back to giorno and telling him he would be retiring by the end of the year
in his two years as the underboss, he'd helped giorno build an empire already
he trained countless new and exisiting stand users, he'd made great friends with neighboring houses, and mista was more than prepared to step up now
his future plans? help you out with the bake shop
the owner you'd be working for for the past three years was retiring and decided to leave it in your possession
you two would get married, have a couple kids, run the shop, leave it to one of them eventually, move to a house by the seaside (maybe even his hometown!) and grow old together
it'd be perfect
but
then he'd get the call
giorno would be frantic on the other end, explaining a serial killer stand user was loose in Naples
one that trish alerted them to, as she said the killer explained he had a bone to pick with whoever overthrew diavolo, and was targeting loved ones
and he'd been watching for quite some time now
he immediately zipped to your apartment, finding the door wide open
fear churning in his stomach, he'd storm the small apartment, searching for any sign of you
when all he found was a single finger perfectly cut off and preserved
his heart stopped
a ring finger, giorno confirmed
your ring finger.
they never found your body, nor your killer, not even after months of searching on end, going to neighboring countries and speaking with other syndicates around Europe
it'd be months, years later before bruno would ever even crack a smile like he used to
he just wasn't the same anymore, this wasn't a death that gold experience requiem could change, and bruno had nowhere else to turn
so, he'd spend the next years committing himself completely to his underboss duties
Passione would be feared, and not just for their untouchable boss
the underboss would be scarier, the man who could walk through walls and kill you with a single command of his stand
traitor after traitor, he'd interrogate anyone who'd so much as questioned giorno's authority, even minorly
everyone would come to fear his wrath
and in each interrogation, each time he'd zip someone's head almost completely off and remove all their limbs and beat them to the brink of death
he'd be searching
waiting
for the person who knew what happened to you
no one would know anything
who would remember the worker from the little bake shop around the corner that had closed so many years ago?
no one
no one knew you, and bruno had no evidence of your existence besides an unworn ring and a cold and empty bed
so
he'd be left to turn back to the cold, gangster life
until one day, giorno would let him rest in peace finally
and he'd be reunited with you
181 notes · View notes
igotanidea · 6 months
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Logical choice: Dick x reader part 1
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summary: apparently he was in love with two girls and had to chose. Too bad his way of making a decision was worse than bad.
massive thanks to Laura @gone-batty-fics for proofreading this <3 <3 I'm terrible with punctuation xD
***
Being in love with a taken guy is like….
No, wait, scratch that.
There are no words to describe that.
How can you possibly find anything to use while saying how you feel when your brain goes short-circuits when you think about the guy you like with another girl and your heart is aching every time you see those two together?
How can you possibly explain the constant urge to cry and scream and lie down and die and throw up and sleep the pain away, all at the same time?
How many synonyms are there for the word hopeless?
Bet you were broken-hearted at least once in your life.
Y/N Y/L/N cursed the moment she met Dick Grayson, with his pretty smile, all his charm and his the golden retriever energy. All that niceness, chattiness, and everything he was and everything he wasn’t, got her mind spinning and falling faster then she could have imagined.
And she had no idea what to do about it.
Especially given the fact he quickly became one of her closest friends, which was shocking even to herself.
Y/N was usually the person to keep her walls up (hurt one too many times), act rather cold and distant, not getting involved with feelings (she was not very good with that and her poor boy experience made her cautious). But hey, the heart wants what it wants and Dick Grayson had a way of getting her to open up, laugh, and just be her unfiltered self. He didn't seem to mind her innate sarcasm and twisted sense of humor. Maybe, since he didn't hate her genuine self, she could make it work?
here was some undeniable connection between them.  Maybe even something more than friendship, but for some reason none of them were able to speak their minds, instead circling around the subject, unable to meet in the middle.
Truly tragic how two souls yearning for one another could not connect just because the owners of those bodies were too shy and stubborn to say three words: I like you.
Even more tragic given the fact that Dick’s family were quick to notice something simmering under the surface, but decided to stay back since apparently it was none of their business.
Until.
***
“You do realize he’s in love with you?”
“What are you talking about?” Y/N frowned at Jason’s words. “Who are you talking about?”
This took her by surprise. Jason Todd wasn’t usually the person to go around gossiping and well, to be honest talking at all. He was the brooding type sitting in the corner, watching everyone with a murderous gaze trying to cover up for the fact how much he needed love and attention, instead using sarcasm to hide his vulnerability and sensitivity. Maybe, throwing a cutting, teasing comment from time to time, but this? This was completely not his style. And it made Y/N a bit uncomfortable.
“Cause I can’t watch you pining like this.” Jason scoffed, “It’s pathetic, you know” he almost rolled his eyes at the girl.
“You are pathetic, Todd.”She retorted, but couldn’t help the blush creeping on her cheeks and the sudden rise in her heartbeat. “What’s your business with gossiping? We’re not friends.”
“I know we’re not,.” Jason shrugged, “but apparently I’m the only one with the balls big enough to - ”
“Don’t flatter yourself,.” She cut him off with a smirk raising a gaze from her book,
“Is that what I get for helping you make your crazy little fantasy come true?”
“What fantasy,” she cried out in desperate confusion “Stop speaking in riddles!”
“You want to be with Dick. Whenever he's around, your eyes and body language practically scream it," he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“You’re reading way too much Jane Austen,.” she muttered, “And what’s with the silent creeping on me!?”
“I’m trying to help you out here!”
“No, you’re mocking me!”
“Y/N!” Jason cried out in frustration, not sure how to put his point forward without Y/N accusing him of being mean. He was not good with words, despite all his literature knowledge.
"What?!"
Y/N was fully aware that she was acting erratically, but the realization that being 'more than friends' with Dick was even a possibility? All of her logical thinking was suddenly on a very long foreign holiday.
“He fucking loves you!”
“And how the fuck do you know that?!”
“You’re unbelievable!”
“I’m just being cautious! I don’t need a broken heart!”
Jason exhaled deeply. Apparently he had to be the reasonable one here. He had known a lot about being insecure.
“Come on, Y/N… I’m not lying. Really. Why would I?”
“Do you really want me to answer that question,?” she asked, her eyebrows raised sceptically..
“Look…..”
“No you look, Jason…..” she raised her gaze at him, exposing all her vulnerability “I’m scared, ok?”
“I know. Trust me, I’ve been there. Still am…..”
“Why does it sound like you’re trying to use me as a guinea pig?”
“Huh?” her words got him confused
“You want to test whether it’s worth taking a risk, don’t you? Whether confessing is something that can actually end up in a good way?”
“Maybe a little.” Jason smirked
“Now that’s more like you.”
“Does it convince you though?”
She took a second to consider. Did it? Were Jason’s words enough to make her act on her feelings? To go to Dick and tell him how she feels? To create an opportunity to have a relationship? To be … happy in love, without all this worry.
“Yes…..” she whispered. 
“Yes?” Jason mocked clearly egging her on. 
“Fucking yes," she cried out, feeling a sudden surge of power and omnipotence.
“He’s in the batcave.”
She moved towards the door, ready to go and finish it all once and for all, to clear the messed up situation she found herself in. But before she rushed to the love of her life there was one more thing she had to do.
“Thanks, Todd. You’re not as bad as you try to look.”
“Keep that detail to yourself, will ya Y/N?” Jason said as he winked at her, being content she actually decided to listen to his advice and not see him as a villain.
***
“Dick…..?”
Poor Y/N had to fight the urge to burst into the cave reaching the speed limit of Flash. It was like all those years of holding back her true feeling finally made her crumble and the façade broke down and she needed to tell him now, now, NOW!!
“Y/N?” he sent her his signature smile, turning up from behind the computer and taking a few steps towards her. It was truly touching how he always stood up whenever she was in the room, like a scene from a freaking regency era London. “everything good?” the man added seeing her reddened cheeks and shining eyes. “you look sick……” he involuntarily put his palm to the woman’s forehead checking her temperature.
Sick in love….. she thought to herself, but obviously couldn’t use that particular wording.
“I’m good….I’m good….” She shook her head “I just have to tell you something …… something important and ……”
“Hey Y/N…..” another voice chimed into the talk, causing Y/N to crash with reality.
“Babs…..?”
It didn’t have to mean anything, right? The fact that Dick and Babs were all alone in the batcave? Surely they just talked about some Batman stuff Y/N was not let into?
She was not let in.
And that was emphatic enough, almost as if she wasn’t a part of the team.
Y/N blinked a couple times realizing she was so focused on Dick’s face, eyes and just generally on him, that ironically she didn’t notice his slightly messed up hair and blushing cheeks alongside with his disheveled shirt.
Oh…..
Her gaze involuntarily traveled to the other woman, eyes widening at the way her shirt were open, her bra revealed and the love bite on her neck visible.
Oh, shit…..
Fucking Todd…..
“What is it Y/N?” Dick asked fixing his hair, his blue piercing, concerned eyes focused on her. “Hey? Y/N? come back to earth…..” he put a hand on her shoulder gently trying to bring her back.
“What….?” Her mind was racing, her hands were trembling, her legs was close to giving up on her. She could barely register what was happening when Dick grabbed her hand and forced her to sit on the chair scared she might faint.
“Y/n……?”
His voice reached her as if through a fog.
“She looks so pale…..”Babs was equally concerned now, and her tone finally made Y/N snap back to reality.
“And she’s back….” Grayson crouched next to her chair, smiling at her softly “you got us worried, it was like your soul left your body for a moment.”
Well, not so far from the truth, was it……?
“Sorry….”she muttered, averting her gaze from Dick’s, but he was not going to take the bullshit, grabbing her chin gently and forcing her eyes on him.
“You wanted to tell me something?”
“Yes…. No…. I mean……”
“Y/N……?”
“So you two are a couple now?” she blurted the first thing that came to her mind, even though saying those words out loud made her sick to the stomach.
“Yeah…..” Dick blushed a little looking at Barbara, who had a similar expression on her face. “Life’s funny, right? Old friend who’s been around all the time, never really seen like a love interest and yet……” he smiled even more, interlacing his fingers with Bab’s.
It was supposed to be me!! Her inner voice cried out desperately bringing not only the sickness to the stomach but also a terrible headache.
“I’m so happy for you two…..” Y/N forced a smile. Fucking hypocrite.
“Thanks…..” the other woman beamed “I know how important you are to Dick so I was worried about your reaction of us getting together”
“Worried?” Y/N laughed only to cover for the scowl forming in the back of her throat “oh, you silly one…. You two match each other perfectly! I mean, Nightwing and Batgirl, it couldn’t get any better than this, right? Besides you …..we… know each other for so long…..it was bound to happen.”
I have to get out… I have to get out of here now!
“It really means a lot Y/N….. I’ve been wondering whether…..” Dick added and for a single second there was something inexplicable in his eyes, but he blinked and it was gone immediately. “nevermind…..”
Yeah, right, nevermind…..
***
It’s been two weeks of torture
Two weeks of bitterness.
Complete disaster.
Y/N was depressed, Dick was torn, Babs was confused and the atmosphere was far from friendly, since everyone could feel the tension and members of batfamily were trying their best to not takes sides, which was probably the greatest challenge.
But as the situation progressed, the one with the least experience in human relationships just had to break the peace. Forced, but peace nonetheless.
It was typical Friday afternoon and they were just hanging around, released from patrol, ready to have a movie night in the manor. Dick, Babs, Jason, Tim, Damian, Steph, Cass and Y/N, who were currently fighting with her own head and mind producing every excuse possible for a rain check on the marathon.
“why don’t you just tell him?”
“Hello to you too, Damian.”
“don’t change the subject Y/L/N.”
“Tell what to who?” she mocked almost rolling her eyes
“Don’t play dumb. It doesn’t work well for you.” Damian said with his usual flat tone.
“That does sound awfully like an indirect compliment…..”
“Just tell Grayson you like him.”
“You what?” oh, shit, the person in question was now standing in the door of the room, his eyes wide in shock, his whole posture screaming the feeling of betrayal.
“Dick….I…..”
“Shit, Y/n!”
“Stop yelling at me!”
“You’re the one yelling!”
“Do you want me to record your voice right now!?”
“You’re in love with me?!”
“How is that bad?!”
“Cause I’m with Barbara now!”
“Yeah, no shit!”
They were getting nowhere with this discussion and to tell the truth, neither of them probably wanted to. It was just dumping everything that’s been eating away at their livers. Suddenly Dick and Y/N found themselves in an unknown territory, their feelings completely exposed, unsure how to proceed without getting hurt and/or damaging one another.
Well there was not a good way out and at the moment screaming was something that at least helped them getting all that pain, fear and hurt out in the open.
“You can’t do that Y/N!”
“Maybe if you had the guts to tell me how you felt first it wouldn’t come to this!” she spat at him
“How I felt….?” Dick stuttered, clearly taken aback “what do you mean?”
“nothing….” She muttered, calming down in an instant. He was not supposed to know that she knew.
“Y/N!”
“fuck you!”
Whoops. Shit. Too much.
She was acting crazy, yes, but come on, cut her some slack, she was broken-hearted and a person with a damaged heart never acts sane.
“If that’s what you truly want then ok, fuck me….. you’re just making it so easy to make a choice here, Y/N!”
“You said it yourself, you are with Babs now!”
“It doesn’t change how I feel about you!”
“You what….?”
“You think I can just turn it off or something!?”
“Dick….”
“No….. no you’re right… I’m with Babs…..”
God damn it! It was like walking in circles. Two adults behaving in a worse way than kids in the kindergarten and no one could possibly stop the incoming storm.
***
And now she was in love with a taken guy.
A taken guy who could have been hers if only she was slightly faster to confess.
Apparently timing is everything and instead of being happy in love she was now forced to grit her teeth whenever dick and Babs were around together.
Which was pretty much all the time.
Well, they were pretty much together all the time before, but not like together together.
Maybe Y/N should have known…..
It was highly unlikely that a vigilante would keep his relationship with a civilian and much more probable that he would end up with another self-appointed crime fighter.
And Dick seemed happy so what was she supposed to do apart from dwelling in poorly hidden misery and listening to sad love songs while facing the ceiling with one single question in her mind.
What if…..?
***
The second dick saw Y/N in the cave a week ago, noticed her sad, confused and a bit lost expression he knew. Y/N loved him the same way he loved her.
But he was with Babs now. He felt for the Batgirl and was not going to leave. That would be a shitty thing to do, right? To leave a girl just because he what? Got bored? Changed his mind or went through a change of heart?
On the other hand, however, how shitty it was to do this to Y/N? He’s been in love with her for so long, always keeping his mouth shut about it, hoping she would somehow figure it out. And now, that she was finally ready to make it a reality, he was with another girl.
Get yourself together, Dick. You can’t just back out on Barbara. You’re with her now. You love her.
But Y/N…..
His first true love.. from a very young age, even before he knew what love was. All those years of waiting only to give up on the final stretch.
And the vulnerability he saw in her whole posture every time she was around. Those pretty doe eyes that never looked at him ever since the scene at the batcave.
They were still friends, sort of, at least, because to tell the whole truth, the situation between them was more than awkward.
And he was very well aware he would have to choose between two girls, because being stuck in a situation like this, with all the knowledge he had, was way too much for him.
Too bad he chose a very devious way to make a decision.
***
"What is it?" Y/N asked upon seeing a single piece of paper in Tim's hands.
"Nothing!"
"Oh, come on, let me see...."
"Trust me on this, you don't want to." Tim shook his head passing the object to Dick, who quickly tossed it to Jason, who was standing the furthest from Y/n.
"All right, fine" Y/N shrugged "I won’t be playing your silly games here...." before any of the boys realized what was happening she snuck past Jason and ripped the paper from him, her eyes immediately focusing on the printed text.
"What.....?" she stuttered, running her eyes on the words yet unable to make any sense of them "Dick?" her hurt expression killed him at the spot.
"It was Jason's idea!" the man cried out as if that could serve as an excuse.
"Yeah, here's the part I was hoping would not come out." Jason muttered
"Y/N." the girl started reading out loud "cons. Tend to live in her own world. Keep her walls up. Stubborn as hell..... Wow.....Just.... just wow." A single gasp was enough of an indication of her emotional state.
“there are also plus points……..?” he almost cringed once those words left his mouth.
“How could you Dick….?”
"Y/n...." Dick took a step forward, realizing that Jason and Tim have already fled the room leaving him to deal with Y/N and her obvious pain alone. Cowards.
"On the other side " she instantly moved back, out of his reach "Barbara. Pluses and weaknesses..... You were comparing us like this? THAT was your way to decide......? By using what? Fucking logic? By trying to decide which one of us is more useful or something……? " her voice broke and she was unable to finish the sentence, while tears started brimming in her eyes.  
That was like a whole new level of betrayal. Like her heart was ripped out and tossed into the gutter.
"Y/n... please, it's not what it looks like...."
"It's exactly what it is. To put it simply, you just treated me like a goat for sale……”
"Please, let me explain.... Please, I'm begging you...."
“Just leave me alone!” she cried out running out to hide in the manor library, possibly the only place that could have given her some sort of comfort and shelter.
"Good luck with making it right, Dickhead...." Jason reappeared just in time to see Y/N rush past the hallway.
"Shut up!" Dick ran his hands through his hair in utter desperation, barely restraining from tearing them all out. It would be so much easier to blame it all on his brother and his stupid idea but deep inside Dick knew it was on him. He never should have listened to the bad advice in the first place.
Of course he was going to choose Y/N.
And there was never any reason to make some stupid list. How could there be when there has always been just one option to begin with?
And now, as much as he wanted Y/N, not Barbara, she was not going to forgive him for not letting his heart decide, but focusing on what seemed more comfortable.
How fucking selfish was that?
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greg-montgomery · 1 year
Note
Okay so absolutely loving your writing sm <3
So I had this idea while, of course, scrolling down the aaron x reader tag so like you dont have to write it if you dont want to but i wanna throw this out here bc otherwise itll stay stuck in my brain
But like reader who is just,, incredibly shy? Like in social situations they put up a front and you would never expect them to be shy because theyre very present and speak up often despite almost blending in the background when quiet. But its a whole other story at home and such?
Like, Aaron notices and first thinks theyre uncomfortable with him but he slowly realizes that this is like, their love language ig and showing vulnerability? Quiet time, acts of service and such yk? Like, they always put up a front and to drop that (not entirely ofc but a decent amount of it) is just the highest form of trust bc theyve been ridiculed for being shy? And the shyness is much more present in the bedroom, especially when he praises them they just get even more shy and hes just so so gentle :(( like asking if theyre okay, going slowly and asking to see them when they hide their face but never forcing them to and just like praising them when they do and the praise kink of them just sticks its head up and its just the purest form of being together? Like, its not rough but gentle and its soft and theres really no other word than making love for it and its all just :(( and the aftercare the man would provide is just AHHH😭❤️
Oh dear im so sorry but i got sucked into the fandom and got obsessed by hotch and then your writing so- this is so long so imma shut up now but i just needed to throw it out there tbh before id explode from all the hotch ideas i have in my mind that im not writing myself or giving to any writer bc what if they think the ideas are weird or too long like rn- but anyway imma shut up have a nice day/night and hydrate <3 (also you might see more of me if you dont mind long ass rants in the middle of it like this one- if you do mind just tell me to shut up im not gonna be mad or anything <3/srs)
-🧽
my sweet sweet 🧽 anon <33 this took me a while to write i'm sorry!! i hope you've been well!! i think about you a lot and i haven't forgotten the kind words you had sent to me <3 i hope you enjoy this!! (and ofc i don’t mind long rants i LOVE talking about aaron <3333)
nsfw - minors dni
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
“Can I, honey?” you heard Aaron’s words as he wrapped his hands around your wrists.
You had been covering your face as you usually did when your boyfriend went down on you. After making you finish, Aaron had made his way up again, urging you nicely to look at him.
With a nod of your head, you gave him permission to gently remove your hands from your face.
“There you are.” He smiled at you.
“Hi,” you said, softly, unable to keep yourself from smiling a little.
“Hi,” he answered, just as softly. “Do you wanna taste yourself, baby?”
“Mhm…” You nodded, staring at his chin instead of his eyes.
Your own eyes closed involuntarily, as he lowered himself and his lips touched yours. You opened your mouth, allowing his tongue to touch yours. Knowing where that tongue had been before it was inside your mouth, made you even more excited for what was coming next.
Aaron placed his hand on your hip, giving it a squeeze and then moved it down your thigh, wrapping your leg around his body. “Open them wider, sweetheart.”
Only a few moments later, Aaron was inside you, rocking his body against yours, in a pace slow enough to be considered both romantic and tormenting.
“Ah…”
“Good?” he breathed heavily on your mouth.
“So good…”
“I love you,” he moaned, his face now buried in the crook of your neck. He left open mouthed kisses on your sensitive skin after every little whine of yours. “I love your body. I love the sounds you make. I love the way you take me like you were made for me.”
“I was,” you sighed, because you really were. There was no man in the world you’d let yourself be this vulnerable around, other than Aaron. Your Aaron.
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zvdvdlvr · 1 year
Note
Can u do more uhhh HCS with like dating Johnny n stuff? I'M SORRY I JUST LOVE THEMSELVES SO MUCH! Anyway tyyyy
- 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐣𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐇𝐂𝐬
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-> navi. | -> outsiders masterlist
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝖿𝗈𝗎𝗅 𝗅𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗎𝖺𝗀𝖾, 𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗈𝖿 𝗌𝗎𝖻𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝗎𝗌𝖾, 𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗈𝖿 𝖻𝖺𝖽 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 { 𝗍𝗈𝗑𝗂𝖼 𝖿𝖺𝗆𝗂𝗅𝗒 𝗋𝖾𝗅𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉𝗌, 𝖾𝗆𝗈𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗅 𝗎𝗇𝖺𝗏𝖺𝗂𝗅𝖺𝖻𝗂𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗒 }, 𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿 𝖽𝗈𝗎𝖻𝗍, 𝖻𝖺𝖽 𝗃𝗈𝗄𝖾𝗌, 𝖿𝗅𝗂𝗋𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝖥𝖫𝖴𝖥𝖥
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝗋𝗈𝗆𝖺𝗇𝗍𝗂𝖼!𝗃𝗈𝗁𝗇𝗇𝗒 𝖼𝖺𝖽𝖾 𝗑 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋
𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐒: 𝗎𝗇𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝖾𝖽
𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: 𝗐𝗁𝗈𝖺 𝗂 𝗐𝗋𝗈𝗍𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗇 𝖺 𝗋𝗎𝗌𝗁 𝗌𝗈 𝗂 𝖺𝗉𝗈𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗂𝗓𝖾 𝗂𝖿 𝗂𝗍𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝖻𝖺𝖽. 𝖨𝖳𝖲 𝖮𝖪𝖠𝖸 𝖨𝖬 𝖨𝖭 𝖫𝖮𝖵𝖤 𝖶𝖨𝖳𝖧 𝖳𝖧𝖤𝖬 𝖳𝖮𝖮 <3
{ 💍 }
- humble af
- absolutely 100% let people walk on over him when he was by himself
- but when you came into the picture, everything was flipped upside down
- dally seemed tame compared to you when you were upset
- im talkin: "you even breathe 'round my boyfriend again, i swear to everything on this damned planet, you'll be scared to take a step outide your house again, savvy?"
- JOHNNY LOVESSSSS BEING HELD BY YOU (later on in the relationship)
- the first couple weeks you guys started dating where kinda awkward, speaking as johnny had to really make himself vulnerable in a romantic relationship
- but all the waiting was worth it <3
- big on linking pinkies if i havent already said that
- johnny's hands get sweaty for one, and two it's something unique and different and johnny loves that sm
- needy when tired
- A DAMN KOALA WHEN Y'ALL CUDDLING I SWEAR
- it's so cute, fam. like, he'll have his head buried into ur chest, smothering himself but refusing to leave bc he needs to be that close to you
- the kind to seek you out in crowds or whatever
- sloppy kisser
- i
- he's super shy, so please let him know it's okay that he's not that good of a kisser, etc.
- LOVES when you compliment/praise him
- dally was wary of you at first obvi
- he didn't like how close you were getting with johnny, so he kept an eye on you
- but he realized johnny was smiling a little more, branching out, speaking up the smallest bit, cracking jokes
- dally absolutely sat you down to talk about your intentions with his son (/j?)
- BLUSHES AT EVERYTHING CHILE
- it's so sweet tho, like,
- hug from behind? red. a kiss to the sensitive skin under his ear? squirming. praising him? woozy. calling him 'pretty boy', 'sweetheart', 'angel', 'my love'???? passed out.
- you could pour hot soup in his lap and he'd apologize for wasting your time
- simp, tbh
- reassure him. constantly. please.
- if you smoke, SHOTGUN WITH HIM PLEASE
- he thinks its so hot
- yearns to do it with you, but wont say anything in case you get icked by it
- if you don't smoke, johnny's very careful to keep his cigarettes and cigarette smoke away from you
- either a physical touch, acts of service, or affirmation kinda guy, mainly depending on how you show your love
- goodbye kisses are a must
- wouldn't really talk about his parents unless you guys where like way into ur relationship
- PLEADE KUSS THE SCAR ON HIS FAXE
- mb
- please kiss the scar on his face
- it makes him feel vulnerable n shiz, but when u like brush a thumb over it with a small smile, johnny always wonders whats goin through ur head
- one time when you did that really late at night, johnny finally asked why you looked at that little scar with so much emotion
- you shrugged, only offering "it makes you look tuff" but he knew there was more behind ur words <3
- 102829282029202974389347902999/10, where can i get one
johnny taglist: @paxdawg
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globaloppaaa · 8 months
Note
omg I just read your Matthew things post and my delusions are being fueled sjdkk 🥹🥹 would it be possible to request headcanons for looking after hanbin + hao + matthew when they’re sick? I’m so weak for fluffy stuff like that 😭
glad i could feed your delusions bb 😌 and ahh how cute of a request!! i can absolutely do that for you!
might add jiwoong in there too, juuust to complete the hyung line 🥰
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in sickness and in health
ft. zb1 hyung line
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warnings: nothin’ but fluff :3
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jiwoong will fully believe he can take care of himself until you force him to lie down and give himself a break while you prepare him his necessities. you’ll find him to be a little grumpy at your attempts to care for him, and It takes him a while to realize that he feels much better when someone he loves wants nothing more than to help him feel his best. Eventually becomes quite shy at your kind gestures, murmuring quiet ‘thank you’s whenever you simply pass by. Even if you’re attention isn’t on him in that moment, the fact you’re present at a time when he’s most vulnerable makes his heart melt.
zhang hao will genuinely need your help, because he embraces his emotional diva when he isn’t his usual, healthy self. “babyyyy can you run to the store for meee.” “honey there’s this soup recipe i’ve been dying to tryyyy.” “don’t forget to set the air conditioner down to 68!! my temperature is rising againn 😣.” He forgets about everything he said and did to you by morning, and desperately apologizes for his immature attitude. You reassure him with countless acts of affection that you’d never mind, because he’s opening his heart, and letting himself trust you at such a sensitive time. Knowing you’re determined on making him feel his greatest makes him fall in love with you more than he ever thought he could.
hanbin is definitely the kind of guy that doesn’t take help from people easily. He’s so used to leading and caring for others all the time, so it doesn’t come as much of a surprise when you find him dizzily swaying himself over to the kitchen to make himself food or grab another dose of medicine. having you be the one running around for him makes him feels worse than the illness that aches his body, fretting over something like his mere sickness. It’ll take numerous attempts, with lots of sweet talk to lay him back down before he begins to enjoy being take care of for once, especially by the one he loves so dearly.
matthew on the other hand lives for the extra quality time he gets to spend with you at first. however, it’s soon followed by his piling anxious thoughts and insecurities. ‘what if i’m too demanding?’ ‘am i being selfish?’ ‘are they thinking little of me?’. He begins to get inside his own head for greedily using his time to admire your love for him, instead of trying to get himself back into a healthy state. He wants to be able to leave you worryless and carefree, but can only rebel your affection so much when he isn’t dead asleep lmao. the way you play with his hair, stroke his cheek, and fix his sheets is enough to make him understand the tender care he’s receiving comes from nothing less than all the love you have for him. he’ll, it’s even enough to knock that man right out.
globaloppaaa© do not copy, modify, or repost my work without consent and permission
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Text
Stress Reliever
Jerome Valeska x Fem! Reader (nsfw)
(2,113 words)
Reader is stressed and hates college. Luckily, Jerome knows how to make you feel a little better.
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Warnings/Tags: nsfw (don’t look minors), comfort sex, rough sex (sorta), slight overstimulation (if you squint), nipple play
Notes: this is really self indulgent lmaoo sorry if this is cringe lol
You let out a sigh, shutting your laptop and plugging it in to charge. It was six o’clock and it was already starting to look dimmer outside- not that you could tell because of the rain, anyway. You made your way to your room to change into something more comfortable. You were in such a rush to get most of your assignments done, you didn’t even realize to change out of your cold, rain-soaked clothes. When you reached the doorway, you could already see his unmistakable vibrant orange hair on your bed.
Jerome liked to do that sometimes. He would pop in unexpectedly. At first it freaked you out, wondering how he got in. It was Gotham City after all, and you made sure all your doors and windows were under lock and key and then some. After the first eight times, you learn to get used to it.
“How was school today, dollface? Busy day I assume?” He asked, sitting up. He had that same playful grin that you never tired of. Flicking on the light switch, you turned to him.
“Only had sociology today, but I had a fucking test, hoping to God I didn’t fail.” Slipping your sweater off and leaving your undershirt on, you went to undo your jeans. “Had a shit ton of work to do after though.” Once you got your jeans off, you were left in your underwear. Too tired to put on sweatpants, you just slipped into bed with Jerome, laying behind him as the big spoon. “I’m just glad you’re here though,” you said, nuzzling in between the crook of his neck. “For some reason, you always know to be here at the perfect time.”
“Glad to be of service,” he chuckled. Both of you laid in silence for a moment, just enjoying the presence of one another until he suddenly piped up. “Have things been getting better? Did ya have a better day, I mean?”
“Truthfully Jerome, no.” You didn’t like to lie, you always felt the need to be brutally honest when you could. It made communication a little easier, but when it came to your own vulnerabilities, you would always wish that lying would come easier to you. “I have so much shit to do man, and it just keeps building,” you paused. “I feel like it’s only gonna get worse too, I have one good day and then everything is bad again.” you were terrible at verbalizing your thoughts, and you felt like a child just ranting on to him. “Like, I get one good grade and then I get fifty million other assignments later that are worth a lot and that I’m afraid to fail.” you could feel a quiver in your voice. You hated thinking about school. “Fucking, college.”
“I hate seeing ya upset like this,” you could feel Jerome shifting positions as he turned to face you. His face was close to yours. You could see the scars on his face more clearly now. They moved when you saw a mischievous grin spread across his face. “What if,” he began “I knew a way to get rid of some of that stress for ya?” You could feel his hand ghost up to you shoulder. Physically feeling him made you feel a little better.
“Jerome, if you’re talking about killing my professors, I don’t think it’s gonna do much,” you could feel a slight smile start to form on my face as you huffed out a small laugh. “Believe me, I’ve thought about it, a lot.”
Jerome’s fingers continued to trace across your shoulder and onto your collarbones. He tugged at the sleeves of your undershirt, where you could feel his fingers start to drift to the more sensitive areas on your chest and neck. “That’s not what I mean,” he chuckled darkly. “Well, maybe, if this part of the plan doesn’t work, that is.” You think you could see what he was insinuating now.
You snickered as his touches grew more intimate. “Please,” you began playfully. “Tell me all about this plan of yours,” you drawled.
In a swift motion, that gave you no time to process, Jerome was on top of you and had you pinned down. You couldn’t help but laugh at your predicament.
“There’s that smile I love to see!” He grinned, planting a big kiss on your lips. “And, I didn’t have to resort to tickling ya this time,” he joked while diving into your neck to place several smaller, chaste kisses, making you squirm.
“Try it, and you’ll be coming back from the dead a second time,” you giggled.
Jerome stopped his tickle-kissing assault and turned to whisper in your ear. “I can’t help how sexy it is when ya laugh, doll,” He smirked. You couldn’t help but shudder as you could feel his breath dance along your ear. Jerome’s fingers crept down to your sides, feeling along the fabric of your undershirt. “Well, since ya asked so nicely,” He said with a sly grin. “I plan to make ya cum,” his hand slowly drifted to play with the hem of your underwear. “A lot.” He drew out the last word with a deep, husky tone, staring deep into your eyes.
Jerome let you up, pulling your shirt off over your head before tossing it on the floor along with his, leaving you exposed in your bra. “Besides,” he purred, making his way around you. You whirled your head around to look at him. His eyes were full of mischief and he had that wicked grin that made you fall for him in the first place. “Orgasms are a great stress reliever,” he spread his legs around yours to keep them open. You could feel his erection pressing into your lower back. “That is, unless you want me to?”
“Oh please do,” you said, gently grinding your ass back on his boxers. You gasped as you felt his fingers softly trail up your inner thigh. This is how it always started. Jerome loved to tease. You knew that by the end he would have you screaming, never failing to surprise you in how he does. Jerome’s fingers moved up your thighs and along your underwear. You knew he could feel your growing arousal through the fabric, before giving your sex a quick slap, making you jolt. You could hear a deep chuckle escape his lips from behind you at your reaction. His fingertips found their way to the hem of your underwear, where he slipped in his fingers. You sucked in a gasp when he got to your clit, circling it at a normal pace. The wetness in your core began to pool when Jerome’s other hand snaked its way up to your chest, groping your tits through your bra.
As you felt yourself get wetter, you let out a small whine when Jerome removed his hand from your clit. He brought his full attention to your breasts. Your breath hitched when you felt your hardened nipple in between Jerome’s fingers. You knew you were in for it now. Jerome began feeling you up, pulling the cup of your bra up to play with your nipples. Your eyes closed, overcome with pleasure from his touch. You moved your arms hastily to discard your bra much to Jerome’s pleasure. He knew your nipples were your weak spot and he seemed all too willing to exploit that. Your arm reached up to caress his scarred face, pulling him in to kiss you. Unlike those playful kisses before, this one meant business. You felt your knees grow weaker as Jerome’s deft fingers pinched your nipple, making you moan into the kiss. “…Fuck,” you breathed out.
“Ya like that?” Jerome asked. “Ya like being teased?” His fingers moved back down through your underwear, back to your clit and began to circle it faster. You felt your body shuddering under the pressure. Jerome flicked your nipple, making you jump. You unconsciously bucked into his hand at the sensation. “I’ll take that as a yes,” He chuckled. 
You could feel yourself getting closer now and Jerome knew it too. His quickened pace on your clit never faltered in speed, actually applying more pressure as he heard your breathy moans. “Ya gonna cum?” Jerome asked in a husky whisper.
“…Yes,” you managed to breathe out, as Jerome continued on your clit at his merciless pace. Jerome’s legs continued holding your legs in place as you squirmed in pleasure, your head lolling back into his shoulder.
“Then let it go, doll,” He breathed. Your eyes slammed shut as you whimpered pathetically, letting your orgasm tear through you. Your vision went fuzzy from behind your eyelids as they fluttered open. Jerome slowed down, letting you ride out the orgasm as you let your vision become clear again.
Giving you a moment to collect yourself, you could feel Jerome shift his weight as he moved around from behind you. “I figured if you were having a rough day, I wouldn’t want to be cruel and leave ya on the edge for a while,” Jerome placed his palm over your chest and gently let you fall back on the bed. You stared at the ceiling as Jerome tugged off his boxers, giggling in anticipation as you heard the sound of a condom being unwrapped. Your view of the ceiling was obscured by Jerome, who was on top of you. “There’s always another time for that,” he purred when he finally closed the gap between your mouths. His tongue was forceful and desperate, letting yourself melt into the kiss. You could feel him slide off your underwear and swiftly ease his cock inside of you.
“Jerome,” you gasped out. He moved his mouth down your neck, allowing you to feel every inch of him. He began at a pace quicker than usual. You guess all that teasing did a number on him too.
Your hand found its way up to his deep ginger hair, gripping it in a way you hoped was gentle. Jerome grunted and slowed down, looking at you through hooded eyes in an expression full of lust. “You’re playin’ with fire dollface.” You couldn’t help but return his gaze and stroke his cheek with your free hand, running your thumb along his scarred jawline. Jerome’s mouth attacked yours once again, pushing you further into the mattress. His hands grabbed your hips and began thrusting back into you, harder than before.
Your moans filled his mouth as he continued his relentless pace. “Shit, shit, don’t stop,” you whispered, feeling your orgasm begin to build its way up again.
Whereas you were more quiet in bed, Jerome shamelessly moaned loudly as he let his hips roll over yours. “Oh fuck,” His panting could be heard as he continued to buck into you. “God, I’m so close.” The look in his eyes was pure bliss. The sounds of his grunts and the banging of the headboard echoed across the room.
You could feel the vibrations of your own pleasure reach its height. Jerome’s dick was hitting all the right spots at a pace that made the stars you were seeing explode behind your eyelids. You could feel your orgasm rapidly approaching. “Oh shit, Jerome… Fuck…” was all you were able to muster out as your orgasm ripped through you once again. You were a breathing, moaning mess, literally shaking through the pleasure.
A loud whine erupted from your throat as Jerome quickly and sloppily thrusted into you while you were still sensitive. Jerome’s orgasm came next, feeling him shudder inside you with a harsh gasp. He slowly pulled out and quickly discarded the condom into the small waste basket beside your bed. 
Your heart was beating fast as you took deep breaths in. Jerome laid his head on your chest, nuzzling into you while his spiky hair tickled your neck. You ran your fingers gently through his ginger locks. He chuckled. “That was a pretty big one, huh?”
“Yeah,” you sighed blissfully. “Now that I think about it, I actually haven’t came for a while, I guess stress lowers sex drive.” You ushered Jerome up and brought his lips to yours in a deep kiss. “I will say, I am feeling a lot better now.”
Jerome began tracing your inner thigh. “That’s good to hear,” he smirked, giving you a quick peck on the cheek. Without warning, Jerome slid down in between your legs. “Because we’re just getting started.”
Your cheeks turned red and you let out a snicker at the implication. Sucking in a breath as Jerome’s tongue flicked across your clit, you knew you were in for one hell of a night.
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thrawns-backrest · 10 months
Note
I've never heard anyone talk about this theory on tumblr, but I was curious to ask you. What do you think about Ronan becoming a Grysks spy? I saw such an idea in one fanfic, but there they made Ronan just an ambitious and stupid villain. But I thought about and decided that given its canonical nature, such a development of events also seems to be probable to some extent. It seemed to me so, because look: Ronan in Ascendancy is even more vulnerable than Eli, who managed to build good relations with at least Vah'nya and Ar'alani, he obviously needs a lot of time to somehow get along with at least a brother-in-misfortune, and already especially with someone else. In essence, he is alone, and his character also repels the Chiss from him, which leads to their distrust and unwillingness to explain anything to him. A person who communicates little with anyone and understands little is easy to take advantage of, besides, attachment to some things or people is something that the Grysk are only too good at pressuring, with intimidation or cunning. And Ronan is attachmented to Krennic, to the Empire, to the Death Star, so in theory they have something to hit. In addition, if he is faithful to someone, then he is faithful, as we see, almost to the end. And if someone else could become for him a figure like Krennic to whom he "swears" - this person could push him into many things.
If anything, I'm not saying that this is a full-fledged theory and it will be so in the canon. These are just my thoughts on one of hundreds of possible scenarios. I was wondering how likely you think this is?
Oooh... honestly, as much as I love Ronan, I think that's very likely. I think it's even likelier when you consider Thrawn's suggestion to Ar'alani about feeding Ronan the right kind of information because they know he's a potential traitor.
Looking at the book, it's hard to tell if they mean that in the sense of feeding the Empire information through him or using him to misled the Grysks but both scenarios are kind of sad because neither assumes an eventual assimilation into the Ascendancy (which I'm trying to fix in my fic lol).
But yes, as you said Ronan is a very likely target for the Grysks. Ar'alani herself points it out and if something isn't done to prevent it, Ronan could easily be converted into a Grysk agent. The moment he realizes Thrawn didn't send him on some secret mission to find Chiss jedi, he'll grow even more distrustful of him. And if his experience in the Ascendancy is as negative as we assume it'll be, there's plenty of dislike there for the Grysks to feed and exploit.
In a way, characters with a lot of zeal and extreme views always have that problem. They're just... unstable. Kind of like Anakin in the prequels, because they feel so strongly about something they're open to manipulation and their loyalties can be exploited with the right kind of nudging.
That said, making Ronan's motivation ambition and depriving him of his intellect is just... dumb. Ronan genuinely believes he's on the side of the greater good, that the Empire is doing good, etc. I can see the Grysks convincing him that the Chiss are the bad guys in the grand scheme of things, maybe that they're planning to betray or attack the Empire and use his loyalty and inflated self-righteousness to pit him against them.
The thing about Ronan, I think, is that he has an eye for detail and is good at noticing things and reading people (e.g. realizing that Vah'nya is force sensitive) but he's not as good at using that information to come to the right conclusions. Sometimes he does and that's when his skills shine but sometimes his takes are just so far off it's funny.
Whether it's because he tends to overthink or because his biases skew his thinking, it's still a flaw and one that could be exploited.
My only hope for Ronan resisting the Grysks' manipulation is that he's already seen what they're capable of. There's this moment in the book where he gets a very strong reaction to seeing the bodies they've left behind ("Ronan nodded silently from his seat at the conference room table, trying very hard not to be sick. [...] He tried to remind himself that these men had been thieves who’d stolen from Stardust and the Empire, and that they deserved punishment. The rationalization didn’t help.")
At the end of the day, Ronan isn't cruel and doesn't have the stomach for cruelty. And that could be the only thing stopping him from trusting the Grysks who don't have a problem openly showing their ruthlessness. But, of course, if he's already in a bad place and vulnerable to manipulation, that might not be enough to save him.
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tinytinyblogs · 7 months
Text
Obsession: His Point Of View
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His love for you is overwhelming, and it is starting to consume you. You feel like you are being pulled into his world, and you are afraid that you will never be able to escape.
⚠unhealthy relationship⚠
The Boyz masterlist here
Your pov His pov
"I've already told you that I'm going out with my friends, Sunwoo. They're not a threat to our relationship."
Your friends, that it makes him mad when you spend time with them, but that's not true. He can see for himself that they want more than friendship from you. They have love in their eyes when they talk to you. Is that what you call a friend? He doesn't like it. He doesn't like you being out of his sight with anyone else. He follows you everywhere to make sure you're safe from the world. He wants to protect you from anyone who could hurt you.
You are sensitive and kind, and that makes you vulnerable to the harshness of the world. That's why your boyfriend is there for you. He loves you and wants to protect you. But you still want to spend time with your friends, even though they don't understand you the way he does. Maybe you're just too independent to let him lead you.
"Sunwoo, he's just asking for directions. There's no need to be harsh with him."
He only asked for directions, but you gave him your beautiful smile. He didn't want anyone else to see that smile, because it was meant for him only. He doesn't want to lose you, and the thought of it scares him. He wants to have a happy ending with you by his side, and he doesn't understand why it has to be so complicated. Why can't you make it happen? Is it really that hard?
He loved all the love stories in movies and books. When he first saw you, he knew that you were the one for him. No one else had ever made him feel that way. It was as if you had cast a spell on him. His love for you grew stronger and stronger every day. He loved you more than anyone else in the world, even his parents. He will never stop showing you how he feels, and he will never stop telling you about it. He will never be silent about his feelings for you because they feel so right.
"Sunwoo, I know you love me, but I'm asking you to please stop making things so difficult for us. I need you to believe in me. You're starting to act differently, and it's making me worry."
Sunwoo is feeling jealous and insecure because you are so beautiful and other people want you as much as he does. He is afraid that you will find someone better than him. Even though he knows that you are meant to be together, he doesn't want you to get hurt by someone else. He wants to believe in you, but he is worried that you will be taken advantage of in this world.
you said Sunwoo made everything so difficult? No. He made it easier to be honest, but you didn't get it. you could be so silly sometimes. you must have been so embarrassed to admit that you loved him that much, poor little thing. Sunwoo is getting so much different now? Maybe he is because he just realized that he should take care of you even more. He realized that you needs him that much, that's why he acts like that.
"Sunwoo, please stop. You're scaring me."
He didn't understand why you had tears in your eyes. Was he scaring you? Why would he? He thought you were joking. After all, he was living in the dream he had always wished for. He woke up to see your beautiful face beside him, and you greeted him with your cute voice. He ate his favorite food, watched his favorite TV show with you, and held you close. He was in cloud nine. You two were perfect together.
He was confused about the tears in your eyes. He thought that your beautiful eyes should not have tears in them. Was that how you showed him that you loved him? Did he need to make you cry even more? He loved life with you. It was so colorful and he enjoyed his time with you so much. Having you was a treasure he had always found in his life. He could not describe how happy he was.
"I think it's time for us to break up. I don't feel like we're in love anymore, and I don't think this is what we're meant to be."
Sunwoo was furious when you said you wanted to break up. He couldn't believe that you would even consider ending their relationship. He told you that he would never let you break up with him, and that he would make you forget about the idea altogether. He loves you very much, and he doesn't understand why you would even think about leaving him. Are you seriously considering leaving him? Leaving him all alone to suffer without you? How dare you? This is the first and last time you will ever be so foolish. He will make sure that you never utter those words again.
The tears streamed down your face that day, and it seemed like they would never stop. But he didn't care. He didn't mind, because it was worth it. He wanted you to understand, and he could tell that you did by the tears on your cheeks. He was so happy for you, even though he didn't like to see you cry. But he knew that it was necessary.
He was finally able to watch you walk slowly along his path. He was so happy about it. He had always dreamed of this moment, of building a kingdom for the two of you. And now, you were there, loving him as he loved you. He could never express how happy he was. He believed that you would eventually love him as much as he loved you. Maybe not right now, but you had plenty of time to learn about love. And one day, you would understand how precious you were to him. You would never think about leaving him again. This life was all about the two of you.
"i...i love you too Sunwoo"
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sivyera · 2 years
Text
Forms of non-sexual intimacy with HTTYD characters
ft. hiccup, astrid, ruffnut, tuffnut, snotlout, fishlegs, grimmel
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⤷ Hiccup
Common shower/bath; this is one of the most intimacy you could have. Hiccup loves every inch of you and your body. Hiccup come often really tired from Great Hall and he is in stress because of his chief responsibilities. So everything he want at the end of the week is you. He doesn't care what you two will do, he just wants to be with you. But you are tired as well so shower/bath is the best option. Hot trickles of water running down your aching bodies and he have you in a tight hug. Like this he is in paradise.
⤷ Astrid
Endlessly trusting each other; Astrid have trust issues like big trust issues. And I don't think that you trust everyone immediately. But what Astrid knew in this world is that she can trust you. She trust you with her life, with Stormfly, with everything she have. She knows she can come to you even with the smallest thing. She hope you trust her just as much as she trust you. She is vulnerable around you, but she knows that nothing will happen to her, because when she with you she is the happiest girl in the world.
⤷ Ruffnut
Sharing memories; She have some memories that she doesn't like talking about. These memories are embarrassing or sensitive. Some of them even Tuffnut doesn't know about. She loves be with in in a bed and just talk about everything that comes on her mind. Sometimes she got lost about what she was talking about and tell you something she doesn't want to. She get always little flustered because she doesn't want you to look at her any different. When you told her you like her no matter what embarrassing things she ever done, she was so happy.
⤷ Tuffnut
Having a humor only you two understand; this might sound stupid but let me explain. I think Tuffnut have his own humor that no one understand and he might be a little insecure about it. You know, he tell a joke but everyone are quiet and have a neutral face, maybe Ruffnut give some cocky comment about Tuffnut. But when you actually laugh at one of his jokes, his all face bright up and he showed up the biggest smile. So now he comes to you and tell you every joke he knows and he never fail with making you smile. He loves your smile.
⤷ Snotlout
Little touches; Snotlout have anxiety because of his father. And sometimes it get to the point he have anxiety attack so he needed to find a way how to calm down if one of the anxiety attack comes in front of people. When you saw that he is getting anxious you touched his leg with your pinkie and softly stroke up and down. At first he looked confused but after a few minutes he realized that he is calm now and that you helped him. Now he is always holding your pinkie or is close to you when he feels anxious.
⤷ Fishlegs
Encourage each other; Fishlegs is very excited when is a talk about dragons and he knows so much about them. He can talk whole day and night about dragons. He gets also really creative like making cards with them etc... So when you listen to him or say something interesting about them he was the happiest. He loves learning new things about dragons so you became his study buddy. When you encourage him to continue learning new things he was over the moon.
⤷ Grimmel
Protecting each other; I don't think that Grimmel have someone who truly care about him nor protecting him. When he finds that you care about him, he was really surprised. He never thought someone would care for him. So now his job is protect you with his life and your job is protect him. Fighting by his side and always have each other's back. He often thinking about how lucky he is to have you. Does he deserve someone like you? That was the question he asked himself pretty often. Spoiler alert: he does deserve you.
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tcwmatchmakingau · 9 months
Text
The Sixth Language (Part 4)
Pairing: Waxer x Fem!Reader (single parent)
Rating: M (18+ minors do not interact) 
Wordcount: 2.4k
Warnings and tags: SMUT; gentle femdom; body worship; oral sex; PIV; oh, my god, it’s happening!
Read the full series: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
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“I need to tell you something,” you whisper, and just then, his teeth scrape across the sensitive skin of your collarbone.
“Now?” he asks in a voice thick with lust, not stopping his progress across your shoulder.
You writhe against him with a moan of pleasure, but somehow, your rational brain prevails. “Yes.”
“What is it?” he asks, gently tugging your neckline further down so he can explore the soft flesh beneath your blouse.
As much as it pains you, you drop your legs from around his waist and raise a hand to his chest to give him a soft push. He stops instantly and takes a small step back. You immediately miss his warmth. 
“I haven’t been completely honest with you,” you confess. “And I don’t want to take this any further until you know the full truth.”
Waxer’s eyes widen, and his mouth sets in a firm line. He looks so serious, and you wish for the thousandth kriffing time that you’d just been honest from the beginning. What if he runs? What if he thinks I’ve been manipulating him all along? 
Your position on the countertop makes you feel vulnerable and ridiculous. You slide forward, and Waxer takes another step backward to give you space as you drop down to the floor. You can’t decide what to do with your hands; suddenly, it feels like you have too many of them, and you fidget for a moment until at last you wrap your arms around your torso.
You take a deep breath, and you tell the truth. “I have a daughter. Kaia. She’s two.”
“I know,” he says.
You blink. “You—you do?”
“Yeah, RTL told me.”
“I didn’t tell them about her, though,” you say, confused.
He shrugs. “They do a background check on all their applicants. It must have come up then. Didn’t you sign the waiver?”
You had; you just hadn’t realized how thorough they would be. It doesn’t matter now, though.
“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” you ask.
“I figured you’d talk about her when you were ready,” he replies.
“So,” you begin, dumbfounded, “you’re okay with it?”
He laughs, and the nervous tension in your shoulders eases when you see his eyes soften. “Of course, I am. I wouldn’t have agreed to the match if I weren’t.”
“Okay, but you should know that she’s in the Terrible Twos right now, and she has, just, so many toys, and she always leaves them lying around, I spend two thirds of my life picking up tooka dolls, you have no idea, and she spreads crumbs everywhere whenever she eats, and she recently started doing this thing where she bites—”
A slow smile spreads across Waxer’s face as you ramble, crinkling the corners of his lovely eyes, and, Wait, has he always had that perfectly kissable dimple? And just as you’re complaining about the frankly ridiculous number of dolls in Kaia’s toy stash, he reaches for your hands, interlacing his fingers with yours, and draws you close to him, and then he lowers his mouth to yours, and your monologue fades into a sigh of pleasure as his tongue slides across yours. 
He kisses you thoroughly, but all too soon, his lips pull away from yours. Instead of letting you go, though, he kisses you again, first on one cheek, and then the other, and then he drops an adorable little kiss on the tip of your nose, and then the center of your forehead, and once on each eyebrow, until your entire face glows with happiness and you giggle helplessly against his chest. 
Giggling? Who am I? you can’t help but wonder.
“Was there something else you needed to tell me?” he asks between kisses.
You shake your head. Blissfully unaware of the existential crisis he has awakened in you, Waxer continues to sprinkle kisses across your face, and while you’re distracted, he slides his hands around your torso and up your back. By the time he returns to your lips, you’re pressed tightly up against him, and now he turns purposeful, devouring your mouth with a kiss that leaves you breathless and trembling.
You slip your hands under the hem of his shirt and glide your palms over his skin, caressing his firm muscles and exploring his body with your touch. As you skim over his ribs, he flinches, and you pause.
“Ticklish?” you whisper against his mouth. He nods, and you move away from the danger zone. “Don’t tell Kaia. She’s in the phase where she thinks tickles are hilarious, and she will torture you. We’re working on it.”
His eyes go soft, and he smiles. “Does this mean you trust me enough to introduce us someday?”
“Someday,” you nod, and his face lights up, but he doesn’t press the issue. “But right now, I have plans that are definitely not kid-friendly.”
“Oh?” he grins. “And what would those be?”
“Come with me, and I’ll show you,” you reply, taking his hand and leading him to your bedroom.
You slide your hands under his shirt, carefully avoiding his ribs this time, and you tug the shirt off over his head. You suck in an audible breath when his body is finally revealed to you. 
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” you breathe, raking your gaze across his torso. 
You already knew he was incredibly fit, but now that all that smooth, brown skin and dense muscle is on display, you’re in awe. He watches you with darkened eyes beneath hooded lids, and you reach out to grasp his belt, pulling him closer to you. He yields without resistance, and as you press your open mouth to his chest and begin to explore his body, he shivers against you.
Your flattened hands roam over his bare skin, fingers dipping below the waistband of his pants, gliding over the planes of his back and shoulders while your lips and tongue chart a path of heated kisses across his torso and up his neck. He clutches his arms around you as his breathing grows deep and ragged. You lick the salt from his skin, and when you click your teeth together softly next to his ear, he lets out a quiet, agonized whimper.
“I am going to take such good care of you,” you whisper.
He turns to look at you, his warm eyes intent with arousal as they flit between your eyes and mouth. You wrap your hand around the back of his neck and gently pull him down to kiss you. He kisses you with his entire soul, holding nothing back. No caution, no reserve, and you realize how dangerously easy it would be to fall in love with a man who kisses like that.
You press him backwards onto the bed, and you crawl up between his legs, skating your hands along his thighs. He’s hard beneath his trousers, and you tease him through the fabric before you continue your progress up his body to straddle his hips. 
“I want to see you,” he says in a low voice. “Please.”
You smile and draw his hands up to your blouse. “Since you asked so nicely.”
He begins to unbutton your blouse, brushing his knuckles softly against your throat, down your chest, between your breasts, over the soft skin of your belly, until the fabric falls apart, and he slips it down over your shoulders.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, trailing his fingers reverently over the slopes of your breasts, following the curve of your bra. You unhook it one-handed behind your back, and as it falls away, his hands ghost down to caress the undersides of your breasts, and then continue down your ribcage. His touch is feather-light, just grazing your skin, never digging into your soft flesh.
You lean forward to kiss him again, and this time, you make your way slowly down his jaw, down his neck, kissing and licking and gently sucking your way down his abdomen, until you reach his waistband. You unbuckle his belt while your mouth has him distracted, and by the time you reach your destination, it is only the work of a few seconds to unzip his trousers and slide them down his thighs.
His cock is absolutely rigid, straining toward you, but you’re feeling a little vindictive after the way he worked you up in the kitchen, so you take your time instead of giving him the relief he so obviously craves. You press a soft kiss to the inside of his calf, and then another, a little higher. You slide your tongue in a long, unhurried lick up the inside of his lovely, thick thigh, and then you blow softly on it and watch the way his leg hair prickles under the sensation. He makes a noise somewhere between a grunt and a whine, and his hips shift. His cock looks delicious, but you are determined to spend as long as you need to take him apart one piece at a time. Some things are worth waiting for.
You shift your attention to his other leg, and this time, you alternate a few tiny, soft nips on his skin in between kisses and licks. By the time you reach the top of his thigh, his chest is heaving with exertion, and his hands are clenched into tight fists on the bed on either side of his head. Interesting. You’re tempted to climb on top of him and pin those fists to the mattress while you ride him into the sunset, but you have a plan, and you intend to stick to it. Besides, you have to save something for the next round.
The instant your tongue cups around one of his balls, Waxer convulses with a tormented cry, his legs spasming and his abs clenching to jerk his head and shoulders off the bed. You laugh quietly and press your hand to the center of his chest, pushing him back down onto the mattress.
“Be a darling and stay where you’re told,” you murmur.
“Fuck, please, please—” he gasps.
“Hush, love. Lie back and let me make you feel good. Trust me,” you whisper, your breath hot against his skin, so close to where he wants you, but still not touching him.
When you gently suck his ball into your mouth, his entire body tenses, but he forces himself to lie obediently still beneath you, and when you shift to his other ball, he begins to chant something under his breath. You listen carefully and realize he’s reciting military regulations. I guess I’m not working hard enough if he can still remember his own name, let alone a reg manual, you think as a devious smile lights your eyes.
Waxer sees it and mumbles, “Oh, kriff.”
You release him from your mouth and turn your attention to his cock. A thick, glassy sphere of precum beads at the tip, and you gently dip your finger in it, drawing tiny, concentric circles around his head. When you pull away, the fluid stretches between you until the thin, translucent string snaps, and you bring your fingertip to your mouth and take a tiny, delicate taste of it. Your own quiet, pleased hum is drowned out by Waxer’s response.
Finally, finally, you lean forward and begin to move your tongue over his cock with the smallest, softest touches. You circle the head, swirling over his frenulum and flicking lightly over the slit, and then you kiss your way down his shaft and back up again. You work patiently, slowly increasing the speed and pressure, and by the time you take him fully inside your mouth, Waxer’s entire body is wracked with shudders. An endless stream of incoherent moans and pleading flows from him as you pleasure him with your lips and mouth and tongue.
“I’m close—I’m so kriffing close,” he gasps in warning. “You should—”
You cup his testicles gently with your hand, and when his legs flex in response, you slip your fingers down to massage the hard length of his shaft behind his balls. His reaction is intense and immediate. He lets out a harsh sob, and his hips arch off the mattress, inadvertently thrusting his cock deep into your mouth. He comes hard, his release flooding over your tongue, and you swallow quickly to keep from gagging from the sheer quantity. You keep sucking and licking his cock as his body begins to relax and his breath comes in deep, rough gasps.
“Shit, I’m so sorry,” he pants. “I wasn’t expecting—”
“It’s all right,” you say, releasing him momentarily as you flick tiny, gentle licks over his cock, which remains surprisingly firm. “I did it on purpose.”
He lies still, breathing hard as he reaches down to stroke your face with such tenderness that it makes your chest ache. After a moment, he pulls you up into a kiss. “Your turn.”
“Do you need a minute?” you ask.
He flips you over onto your back and begins to lavish kisses over your body, tugging your skirt and underwear off as he does. 
“What do you think?” he asks, rolling his pelvis against your thigh.
“I think those rumors I heard about clone stamina are true,” you giggle—again with the giggling!
“Shall we put it to the test?” he asks.
“I think so,” you reply gravely. “It’s important to research things for ourselves and not just accept everything we hear at face value.”
“So true,” he agrees, kissing his way down your body until he finds your clit and slides his tongue over it. “Kriff, are you this wet just from sucking me off?”
He gazes up at you with something like adoration in his eyes.
“That, and the way you worked me up earlier—Oh, kriff—” you gasp, your hips levitating off the bed as he delves into your pussy.
He quickly learns exactly how you like to be touched, testing and experimenting and paying close attention to your reactions until he has you trembling and moaning beneath him. When he’s satisfied that you are ready for him, he slides into you gradually, giving you plenty of time to adjust to his size, stroking your clit rhythmically all the while. Once he’s inside, though, the power of his body is undeniable. 
He slips his hands beneath your back and wraps them over your shoulders so he can hold you in place as he thrusts into you again and again. You wrap your legs around him and marvel at his strength as his hips and ass flex to drive his cock so deep inside you that you can barely breathe. And then you don’t think anything at all, lost in sensation and drowning in him.
A/N: Clone trooper jizz tastes like cinnamon roll topping. It’s canon.
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stupidrant · 3 months
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you know, girls of color in media don't really get the chance to have complete character arcs, be fully realized love interests or able to be hold her own and vulnerable & soft, i'm so happy that our girl angrboda is getting so much love 🥺❤️ she deserves the princess treatmen and fully spoiled. i'm talking fluffy tulle gowns in a giant ballroom ala bridgerton being courted by a young man who looks weird in the face at first but he's actually very cool and nice!
When i first saw angrboda i was shocked like REALLY shocked since i had no prior knowledge of ragnarok coming out until like days after it came out. (Her design is immaculate imo) And then going through the game i became even more shocked and then the ending came and i was just like… WHAT? Her being his first or ONLY love interest wasnt even my first thought until like a month later bc i was quite in awe with the game in general and then it kinda hit me thats what was happening and i was like oh. OH. I was rooting for her and.. they was end game. You guys i was like wtf…
This is probably a little sensitive for me to say but i dont usually fret over representation too much anymore. The reason for it is bc honestly its very hit or miss and more misses than ever before. Alot of it feels like “here, damn” like just to do it to satiate people, mocking or a set up and its like ok. Whatever. I cannot force people to do smth they dont want to do and i think if you dont wanna do it then just dont tbh. But even when it is genuine or even good you dont see it being popular. I think of a few examples ofc but 9/10 they are either terrible characters, die later on or are flat out ignored (if they had no arc). The difference with angrboda shes none of that. They didnt even put her in a stereotypical place im genuinely shocked about that. I dont like her bc shes black but bc i actually like her. Her being black is just a plus for me and I dont project myself onto her because honestly if i do itll put me in a shit position and i dont really feel the need to do so anyways but i do appreciate everything abt her and i do recognize that they took their time with her and i applaud them for that. All of that just for her to end up being the most hated character. Lol. im always gonna be a little bitter about that. Again, I really hope sms continues on with her regardless of the hate bc they did it with atreus.
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fandomfluffandfuck · 11 months
Text
This morning, the thought popped into my head of Steve Rogers × Steve Rogers selfcest and I couldn't stop thinking about it 👀
So, which Steve's you ask?
I'm thinking...
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These two.
Pre-serum Steve and Steve who has been freshly woken up to the new century--still adjusting to the serum and still lost puppy. And with them together--little, calloused Steve, and big, hypersensitive Steve--I can't stop thinking about post-serum, thawed Steve getting meaned on by little Steve 😮‍💨
Just imagine:
Pre-serum Steve's thin, cold hands on post-serum Steve's newly feverish body. It feels torturous. Like, shit, his younger self's hands are like ice on his now more sensitive body. It's a novel sensation that leaves him squirming and gasping with every touch. Big Steve has goosebumps. He's shaking. His hands might be cold but it also is making him hotter and hotter.
Those hands grope him, sliding up under big Steve's clothes and getting him out of them so easily. Little Steve's not being gentle. Grabbing. Gripping. Squeezing. Pinching. Even slapping. Those fucking hands, quick and cold. And Steve, big Steve, feels like he can't even talk being touched in such a way. He's been knocked down like a house of cards.
He's dizzy.
Oh, God.
They keep going and going.
Touching melts into heavier touching and kissing that makes big Steve want to crawl out of his skin. It's all this heat and wetness and he really fucking feels like he's never been touched before. Every inch of him is lighting up with red-hot heat. He can't stop moaning into his own mouth. He can't stop himself from grabbing and grabbing hard until his smaller self snaps, "stop." He doesn't want to hurt him, and he's so aware of how thin his wrists are in his bigger, stronger hands but... he can't help getting lost, too. It feels like never before.
It feels so good.
They're in a rush. They can't stop. A train barreling forward recklessly.
Steve rushes his hands down big Steve's chest and growling, "so, they pumped you up and made you bigger and better everywhere, didn't they?" as he pinches big Steve's perky, too sensitive nipples.
Steve wails and squirms, his hands coming up to grasp at smaller Steve's wrists, his narrow shoulders, and his absolutely tiny waist.
He wants him to stop!
He wants him to keep going until he can't take it and cums against his contracting, tight abs.
With a high, stupid whimper, Steve realizes he has no idea what he wants. More? Less? He doesn't want to decide! He wants to let his younger, smaller self decide it all.
Fuck!
"Look at you," little Steve says with a feral sneer, drunk on having so much power over someone so much bigger. There's a true bit of malice in smaller Steve's touches, and in his words. Post-serum Steve is everything pre-serum Steve is pretty sure he's supposed to be. Everything he wishes he was, deep down.
So smaller Steve is peeling his hands from big Steve's plump, fucking swollen fucking muscular tits and grabbing that square jaw with bruised knuckles instead.
Big Steve swoons at the unforgiving touch.
Meanwhile, younger Steve growls at the picture his bigger self makes with his own hand pushing big Steve's plush, red lips forward and squishing them together some, too. He looks stupid. Bright pink, flushed. Eyes dark and confused but so wanting, too. He's barely held together. Jesus. Small Steve kisses him like he hates him, biting his lip until his older self whimpers, then licking into his mouth until he arches underneath him.
But, with a hand just loosely wrapped around his throat... he melts so easy that smaller Steve can't hate him. No way. He's so...
So everything.
Little Steve swears. And before he can think about it, he's barking at him to turn over.
Big Steve goes like that.
His muscles ripple and bulge and...
Oh.
He can be even softer than he already is, can't he?
All the proof pre-serum Steve needs in his tight, pink, little hole. Big Steve is trembling and clenching there. He's so vulnerable and sweet.
"I'd fucking lick you but I think you'd blow your top, wouldn't you? Serum made you a quick draw, hm?"
Steve squeaks, and he ruts into the bed with movements that are jerky and rough. He can't control himself. It's all the answer pre-serum Steve needs.
He doesn't waste any time and soon he's got three of his thin fingers up inside of him. He's like sin inside. Silky and hot and unbearably tight. And he keeps moaning, "oh, oh, oh--"
It'd be annoying if it weren't dripping in desperation and need. As is, little Steve is feeding off of it. He sounds like a fucking floozy. Like a whore.
He looks like a whore, his whole face going even dumber the second little Steve threads his fingers through his thicker, softer hair and pulls. Just that added stimulation, the added pain that Steve knows better than anyone, is getting mixed up with his pleasure sensors. He's feeling too much.
Too much.
It only gets worse.
Pre-serum Steve rubs his prostate harshly and pulls his hair harder, lean muscles straining, and bites his meaty shoulder. Steve screams when he cums.
Huh.
Interesting.
Little Steve doesn't care much beyond that, though. He keeps going. He takes his fingers out once he's done milking them, like a fucking vice, and shoves on into him.
And if he felt like sweet sin on his fingers, like the burn of taking Jesus's name in vein while sitting in the pews, his bigger self feels like burning in hell around his cock.
Jesus fucking Christ.
He's so tight on Steve's cock it hurts.
Hot. Wet. Overwhelming. Tight.
It's everything.
Neither of them can take it.
Little Steve can hardly wait for big Steve to choke out, basically sobbing, that he's ready. Vibrating in place. Feeling like he might be on the verge of his heart giving out in the best fucking way. And big Steve seemingly can't not fist the bedsheets. He rips them to shreds like they're paper. He arches his back. He shakes. He acts feral with the way his younger self is fucking him.
Little Steve is being mean--
Going rough and hard.
Fucking him. Rough and hard.
It feels so, so good for post-serum Steve. He's never had anyone touch him like this, with Bucky--God, his heart hurts--there was never any time. And he, himself, knows just what he wants, and he is exploiting it.
Steve is pretty sure he's going to explode, moaning like he's dying, pressing his back up into younger Steve's slim, sharp hips. His hip bones sting against his firm, plush ass. Steve wants it harder. Even if it kills him. He wants bruises. He wants to be marked. He wants to be claimed. He wants more.
God.
Steve sobs.
Steve growls.
They're breathing the same ragged breaths--smaller Steve because he can't not, this is the fucking workout and his lungs and heart are working overtime, and bigger Steve because it feels too good.
Big Steve is about to cum again, whimpering and just barely holding on, but...
"Get on your fucking back," smaller Steve pants, his voice like steel.
Bigger Steve follows his orders with a stab of arousal cutting through him. He's all wobbly and uncoordinated, moaning all upset without a cock in him, but he makes it.
On his back.
Younger, smaller Steve knee-walks back into position. The head of his cock finding his clenching hole and fucking back in. Rough.
"AH!" Steve wails.
His voice breaks and gets louder, a wordless shout, as younger Steve sinks his teeth into his throat. Then, in his jaw. And, then, into his lower lip.
Steve is trembling from tip to tail. Shaking apart.
He cums, eyes rolling to the back of his head with his own taste on his lips as the other Steve whispers filthy encouragement. It's sounds like mocking. It makes him ache in the best way. He's never had someone be so mean, and he's not sure he would be able to stand it from anyone else. But it's him. He knows what he needs. What he wants.
Guh.
And, oh God, don't even get me started on the possibility of nomad Steve watching from the sidelines, sitting back in a chair with his legs spread wide to accommodate for the hard line of his cock, an obvious bulge in his beat uniform pants. One hand is on his bulge and the other on his beard, stroking his thick facial hair as he looks on, stoic and silent... every now and again, he godes them, "that all you got?" Wanting to see them go harder and harder. Acting more and more like they're animals in heat, wanting to just tear each other apart.
Anyway... 👀
I just had to get that out of my head. Thank you for listening to my horny rambles as always 😘
((And I definitely wasn't listening to this song while writing this 👀))
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henrysglock · 1 year
Text
We Really Need To Talk About Henry Creel and the "Psychopath" Label.
I'm putting the word "psychopath" on a high shelf and out of reach until further notice because we as a whole clearly a) does not understand what psychopathy is, b) does not know what it actually looks like in people, and c) is more than happy feeding into the already existing stigma around the disorder by using the term to describe someone who is a villain, but who's also very much not a psychopath if you look at his actual mannerisms and beliefs.
That is to say: If we completely ignore any timeline fuckery and treat Vecna/Henry like one singular guy...The terms you all are looking for are "pathological altruism", "superiority complex", cPTSD, and/or autism.
Y'know, things that can stem from intense, prolonged childhood trauma and are characterized by a) believing oneself to have the power, authority, and duty to fix others' problems for them, b) fluctuations in sensitivity/reactivity to triggering situations, and c) reactive judgmental behavior.
"Psychopath" is not a catch-all for villains, and it does not equate to "violent man disorder".
Let's do a little psychoanalysis of what Henry actually does, working chronologically.
Little Henry (age 12)
He's described as "sensitive". This is code for many things throughout the show, some of which being artistic tendencies, quiet personality, increased vulnerability to emotional harm, queerness, neurodivergence, and connection to the supernatural.
He's shown gently collecting spiders in furnished jars. Henry identifies with the spiders, identifies that they both have been cast aside, and uses that connection to reach the conclusion that the spiders need love and care. He then handles them gently and spends time making homes for them. This alone is a display of empathy, sympathy, and compassion.
He's lonely, rejected by his mother and his peers. This rejection hurts him, and he later bitterly internalizes/recontextualizes the experience to avoid that hurt.
He's called "broken", but later realizes that he isn't broken at all. This indicates that he believed he was broken for some span of time, and his later anger surrounding the topic indicates that that experience hurt him.
He displays a variety of emotions. Henry openly displays sadness, fear, anger, enjoyment, fascination, and excitement.
He is unable to hide his social "wrongness". He couldn't hide the fact that he was different from the other children, indicating that a) he tried and failed, and b) he wanted to fit in at one point.
His father seemed to have liked him as a person. Whatever was "wrong" with Henry, whatever it was that he couldn't hide, it wasn't something that made Victor dislike him.
He recognizes cruelty in society and openly condemns it. Yes, I recognize the later irony in that. That's part of the narrative structure of his villain arc. This isn't about Vecna, it's about preteen Henry.
He hates dishonesty. Whether it be dishonesty with others or with the self, Henry has a specific and powerful hatred of lying.
Now, if anyone tries to tell you about diagnosed "child psychopaths", they're lying to you.
Psychopathy is clinically knowns as Anti-Social Personality Disorder, and it cannot be diagnosed until ages 18+, since children tend to grow out of any "psychopathy markers" they might display in childhood. Children displaying these markers might be flagged as having "conduct disorder", but not psychopathy.
However, lets look at the markers anyway:
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GM: Grandiose-Manipulative, DI: Daring-Impulsive, CU: Callous-Unemotional Source
Conduct disorder: Generally characterized by aggression towards others/destruction of property, lying, theft, and limited prosocial emotions. GM: Superficial charm, glibness, suave behavior. Megalomania and narcissism. Lying. DI: Fearlessness, impulsivity, recklessness, lack of responsibility. Risk taking behaviors. CU: Lack of remorse, empathy, sympathy, or compassion. Shallow emotional affect.
Let's tally him up.
Psychopathy:
Grandiose-Manipulative: ❌ Henry does not fit in, and it's clear to everyone that he does not fit in. He can't hide this, no matter how hard he tries. He is not charming or suave. He also internalizes the "broken" label and recognizes that he's rejected for a reason, and it hurts him. It's only later in his childhood that he realizes being different=/=being broken. He has a specific hatred of lying. If we compare him to Billy, the narrative anti-hero who acts as both parallel and foil to him, we can see artificial charm in action. Billy lies and uses acting to get his way. Repeatedly (see: his interactions with Karen). Billy represents GM behaviors in action. Little Henry is, then, in direct conflict with GM traits.
Daring-Impulsive: ❌ Henry only lashes out with violence when he perceives himself as being in imminent danger. He is shown as and later described as being afraid. The only fearlessness we see is in regard to spiders, and that fearlessness can be traced back to his empathy for the spiders as disliked/socially rejected creatures. Again, Billy. Billy and his erratic driving with Max in ST2 and his attempted fling with Karen are both classic displays of DI traits. Little Henry, in contrast, does not display DI traits.
Callous-Unemotional: ❌ Henry displays a range of genuine emotions. He also displays empathy, sympathy, and compassion. He's described as a sensitive child, for heaven's sake. Billy, as a contrast, does not display empathy, sympathy, or compassion. He's unnecessarily cruel and violent for his own entertainment (the car scene) or to maintain control (Max), and he does not display remorse for it. Little Henry does not meet the criteria for CU traits.
Conduct Disorder:
Aggression/Destruction: ❌ Henry is often hiding, he's reclusive, his father describes him as "sensitive", and he's gentle with the spiders. Even his later visions aren't particularly aggressive. It's spiders crawling out of a drain, a cradle in a fireplace. Disturbing, yes, but not aggressive. Henry is shown killing a rabbit, but his reaction is distinctly unhappy and we're only conclusively shown him doing so once. Due to differences in killing style between his singular kill and the other dead animals his family finds on the property and the fact that there are animals that show up mutilated on the Creel property which Henry wouldn't reasonably have access to (see: chickens)...It's not a concrete pattern of behavior. He's not an aggressive child, especially if compared to Billy. Billy is openly violent and aggressive, and he seeks out opportunities to physically hurt others. Henry does not do this. He only lashes out when cornered, which is what happened in 1959 (if we take canon at face value).
Theft: ❌ We are not shown any instances of or inclination towards theft.
Low guilt/remorse: Inconclusive Henry is shown (supposedly) practicing his powers on a rabbit, but he looks distinctly disturbed while doing so. Henry lashes out at his mother with his powers and displays little remorse, but that was self-defense, which muddies the remorse waters. Compare him to Billy, who is clearly enjoying tormenting kids whenever he can (see: the fatshaming at the pool, Max in the car, Lucas at the Byers house). Generally, Henry doesn't meet this criterion, but it remains inconclusive.
Low Empathy: ❌ Henry visibly and verbally displays empathy for the spiders (A similar trait in autism: more empathy for creatures than humans)
Low Affiliative Behaviors: Inconclusive He has issues with regulating eye-contact (it seems like he tends to stare), and he doesn't seem to seek people out. He's reclusive and quiet. However, these are also shared traits with autism...or just being an introvert, and we do see him display warmth/happiness on multiple occasions. We also know he has interest in connection with others due to his later bitterness over the lack of connection he experienced as a child.
Deceitfulness: ❌ Henry hates lying and dishonesty. That's his whole thing.
Fearlessness: ❌ Henry visibly and verbally displays fear on many occasions.
Henry Creel, age 12, is not meeting the markers for conduct disorder/precursors for psychopathy.
Next time point.
Henry Creel, age 32: Orderly
He's good with kids. He soothes El's anxiety, calmly engages with her anger surrounding her mother, sits on the floor beside her to be on her level, takes her concerns seriously, and tries to help her succeed against her struggles in the lab.
He's relatively social. He's the only orderly who interacts with the children willingly/actively seeks out social connection with the children. He's shown wandering around the room observing them, and he seeks El out as company (this will come back later).
He's not harsh with the children. In ST1, we see El being carries around by her arms and thrown around by orderlies. We see Henry being dragged by his arms by orderlies after his electrocution scene. Henry, even when given the authority of an orderly, doesn't engage in this kind of disregard for a) personal space, b) autonomy, and c) wellbeing. The worst we see from him is his reprimand of 002 when 002 is bullying El, and even that's just a quick verbal reprimand.
He empathizes and sympathizes with the children. Henry is openly disturbed by 002's electrocution, even when no one is watching him except the audience. El isn't watching, Brenner isn't watching. Henry empathizes with 002, given that his own electrocution scene just happened in the previous episode. We're being shown genuine empathy and sympathy coming from Henry.
He's still quiet, gentle, and reclusive. He often hunches in on himself when he's not being watched by Brenner. He's consistently soft-spoken and unassuming. His likability comes from his lack of stereotypical superficial charm/suaveness. He comes off as the guy who was bullied to hell and back as a kid, not like a politician (which is what psychopathic charm is most likened to).
When he isn't being like that, it's an act...and an unconvincing one at that. Henry looks distinctly uncomfortable and out of place when he's trying to play the straight-backed, unfeeling orderly. We get tons of side-eye from him directed at Brenner. He doesn't enjoy being on display like that.
Henry tries to help El and then acknowledges that it didn't work/made things worse.
Henry tries to help El escape with no request for anything in return. Her escape was not transactional. Soteria's removal only happened when El reached out about Henry not coming with her, and even then he never asks her to remove it. He gives her information, and then he lets her make her own choices. She wants him to come with, he did not ask her to set him free. All this, despite the fact that he easily could have asked her to remove it as repayment for letting her loose without any red flags being raised on El's part.
Henry displays concern for El's wellbeing He takes her with him when the guards come running after Soteria, even though it would have been a good distraction/would have given him a head start if he'd left her. He defends her and himself from the guards who clearly want to hurt them. He hides her in the store room and tells her he's going to find them a way out.
Let's tally him up.
Grandiose-Manipulative: ❌ Henry still lacks the "classic" psychopathic charm. He's still a bit kooky, definitely not suave. A touch of narcissism might come into play with his desire to "save" El, but that's leaning into pathological altruism. He doesn't display himself as powerful, even after Soteria is removed. He's still soft-spoken and curled in on himself. Of course, we could argue that he's doing all this to manipulate El. Sure...but he never asks for anything in return even when it would be logical and understandable to do so. Getting El to remove Soteria would be like taking candy from a baby. All he'd have to do is say "If you take Soteria out, then I can help you escape. I can only help you if you take it out, though", and she'd do it. She's a lab-raised 8 year old. It would be a far safer gamble for him to flex his authority than to...what? Not mention it and hope she says something? Hope she chooses to do something? Okay. Hell, if we take the show at face value, no timelines or anything...Henry has already leveraged his authority with El before. "If you want to escape, you must do exactly as I say", he tells her in the chess scene...and then he just straight up never mentions Soteria. No matter how you slice it...that wasn't manipulation. It was altruism.
Daring-Impulsive: ❌ Henry does display risk-taking behaviors, but we need to apply context. He's been locked and abused in this lab for 20 years, El's been there for 8 years under similar conditions...there's no chance at escape for either of them unless someone takes a risk. Even so, it's not the type of risk that's associated with thrill-seeking. He's not doing it for the thrill, he's doing it to get out.
Callous-Unfeeling: ❌ It's a bit more difficult to say that it's not an act here because he's usually being watched by El, however...in the times when he's not being watched, he displays empathy, sympathy, and compassion, and those displays are paired with distinction emotional expressions. This is where the escape scene comes into play. Henry once again only attacks once he's cornered and in danger (not to mention that this time he has a dependent to worry about). His plan is to run. He's not inclined towards violence until he's left with no other choice, and when he does lash out he doesn't actually use his powers to kill until that final guard (who seemed to take great pleasure in the prospect of getting to shocked both him and El). He throws the other soldiers around, but he doesn't give them that menacing, sadistic look. That's reserved for that specific guard. It's sadism borne of a personal grudge due to prolonged mistreatment. It's revenge, not sadism for the sake of sadism.
Orderly Henry Creel, age 32, definitely has something going on up there (likely a whopping dose of cPTSD). He sure is a Guy in a Situation. However, he does not meet the criteria for psychopathy.
And now, my favorite and most controversial section:
Vecna-Henry (ages 32-38)
First and foremost: I need you all to read this with the understanding that I am explaining behaviors, not excusing them. Nothing that happened was right or justified, based on a normal person's frame of mind. However, in order to even come close to psychoanalyzing someone, you have to get inside their head. It's their thoughts and motivations that matter here, not what outsiders judge them to be. That's why it takes months of talking and testing to pin down diagnoses.
We need to be able to look at things from Henry's point of view and piece it together in his frame of mind. You feel me? Good.
I'm abandoning the checklist format for this section because it requires more nuance than just "yes" or "no", but I'm still going to list off some key traits about Vecna:
He chooses his victims carefully. Our 4 victims are not chosen willy-nilly. This isn't "I want to kill for fun", or we'd have Art the Clown instead. He personally kills exactly as many as he needs to open the Rifts, no more. He doesn't kill for killing's sake.
Each victim is chosen with a specific backstory in mind. I've spoken about this before, but if you know anything about serial killers it's that they're almost always going after victims that tie into their own trauma (i.e. killers with mommy issues going after women who look like their mothers, etc). Stranger Things, of course, is a touch more intricate. The order and specific stories of the victims tells a meta narrative. Chrissy and her horrible mother with the rotting food that's a direct link to the custom-made painting in the Creel dining room during the dinner scene. Fred and being a murderer, even though it was a negligent accident. Max and Billy, whose story is so complex and so inverse of Henry's that it fits perfectly with a song about swapping places to feel how the other feels. Again, a death outside of the victim's control, but this time tinged with the relief that an abuser had died after years of wishing for it to happen. Patrick and his abusive father, his abusive Papa, if you will. They tell us a story, just like almost every other serial killer. We know Virginia was a bad mother based on the situation Henry finds himself in at age 12, but we're never shown the extent of that conflict because we never see them interact. It wasn't physically possible for Henry to have killed Alice. How could Henry, who was near-fainting after having "killed" Virginia, find the strength to trance Victor and kill Alice? How could he do that, when we don't even see Vecna do that, when he's so much more powerful? He's not capable of multitasking. ST4 made that very clear. Thus, negligent death. Billy and Max vs the Creel murders are essentially just an inverse situation. Older abuser dies, the young victim wished for it to happen and is now Feeling Things about the situation. Lost a sibling in the process. And last but not least, Patrick, who shares a name with a lab guard in ST1 and has an abusive father. That's a Brenner link. It's a story by proxy. Vecna uses that shared trauma to connect with his victims. (That's the real deal: Shared Trauma). It's weaponized empathy.
He talks over and over again about honesty and ending suffering. Those are his two huge Things in his kills. He holds up a mirror to what the victim perceives to be the worst part of them, and then he turns around and all but tells them he'll make it end. After all...everyone is just waiting, waiting for it all to be over. He's got a fixation on making sure his victim knows that a) this was their fault, and b) he's being the Good Guy by relieving their suffering.
He has no reason left to pretend to have a Good Moral Justification for his kills, and yet he still talks to his victims like he's justifying their deaths.
That's...a lot, but let's dive right in.
Henry and his funky morality complex is endlessly fascinating to me, because what he seems to be doing is self-soothing about it all. Psychopaths, in contrast, are aware of moral compasses, of good and bad, but they aren't typically beholden to the concept. A psychopath likely wouldn't feel the need to self-soothe about their actions by telling themselves and others that they're doing what they're doing to relieve suffering...which is coincidentally exactly what Henry, as Vecna, does the whole time.
At this stage in the story, Henry would have no reason to keep up that kind of savior charade when his audience is just himself and his victim. There's no one there to manipulate by falsifying morality. The only other person listening is going to die imminently. The interesting part comes in when we understand that Henry doesn't have to play the angel at all in ST4. He's certain he's already succeeded by the time we realize what he's up to. He doesn't have anything to gain by lying about his perceived morality. Psychopaths, generally speaking, don't care enough to put the effort into lying if it isn't useful. That means that the last time he would have actually needed to play the angel was during his 1979 monologue. However, we see the same phrases about suffering and the associated release that we hear in 1979 continuing to return as far in as 1986, when Henry no longer has any reason to lie, even if he were okay with lying in the first place (which he's not)! They're all genuine lines. They're a core part of his character.
Vecna wants to be in the right, in the clear, morally. He can't accept that what he's doing is abusive; he has to frame it specifically so that he is doing what's right, that he's freeing people and solving problems.
He's doing his damndest to actualize his "predator, but for good" line from 1979.
This does not smack of psychopathy.
This smells like a savior complex.
Even as far back as 1979, Henry has been obsessed with saving things from their problems ("Tricked you? No. I saved you"). He "saves" spiders from the vents of his house and gives them new homes, he "saves" El from the lab's brainwashing, he "saves" the ST4 victims from their suffering...and dare I say it...he "saves" the lab children in 1979 from their suffering as part of Brenner's lab, the only true escape from which is death (And if it was a 2-birds-1-stone situation with absorbing abilities...well. That's just a bonus).
Granted, the morality surrounding the manifestation of Henry's savior complex has been warped by massive psychic alteration and 20 years of unimaginable abuse with no feasible escape, so yeah. It's a little fucked up. He's a little fucked up. Obviously.
However, at it's core: Everything Henry has ever done has (in his mind) been Right, Good, and Necessary, despite the fact that he's now actively doing more harm than good.
This reeks of pathological altruism.
Here's what that can look like, clinically:
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Well damn, doesn't that sound familiar? (I'm staring directly at Henry's spider hoarding versus the above image)
"Saving" spiders, but condemning them to death in jars after his kidnapping. "Saving" El from the lab, but traumatizing her and ultimately condemning her to his own fate: being the sole focus of Brenner's attention. "Saving" the ST4 victims from their suffering, but hurting them in an attempt to kill two birds with one stone: free himself, and eliminate their suffering as a nice morality bonus.
Pathological Altruism. Savior Complex.
Jamie himself has said that, based on what has been shown to us, Henry truly believes that what he's doing is right and beneficial (which fits with his Catholic-God coding (here) so well).
All this to say, and I cannot stress this enough: This is not psychopathy. What Henry displays is not psychopathy. This is pathological altruism. Psychopaths, particularly those who go on to commit violent crimes, largely do not have savior complexes. A psychopathic serial killer would not care, and would not hide that they don't care if there isn't anything to gain from it.
Henry also has this incredible fixation on truth and right vs wrong, and yes, he weaponizes that, but again he does so while self-soothing with padded morality phrasing. He monologues for ages about how terrible it is that everyone is lying to themselves and others, and how everyone is suffering but no one wants to admit it. His main goal is remaking the world with a "better" version of society that's less oppressive (which happens to be one where a rule-bound society is entirely done away with). Henry then swings way past "Good, Right, Necessary" into villain territory but going so far as to force his victims into facing the truth of what's going on inside their heads, forcing them to stop lying about their own mental states, only to then use the "worst" thing about themselves to judge them. He's quite literally playing God based on his use of right and wrong to maintain control/power while holding a moral high ground. (He's doing a pretty good job, too. He sounds just like the Catholic God.)
This is not psychopathic behavior.
His behavior seems more like black/white judgmental thinking:
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A misguided and overwhelmingly strong sense of justice:
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and a killer superiority complex fueled by chronically low self-esteem:
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A psychopathic serial killer would have little attachment to truth or right and wrong.
A psychopathic serial killer would not care.
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The thing is: Henry's whole issue is that he cares entirely too much. His problem is that everything matters, everything can and should be sorted into good and evil, right and wrong (and obviously he is in the right here), save and destroy. It's judgement and warped justice and the need to believe he's special, that it all happened for a reason, that the world deserves to burn for what it did to people like him, that he can fix the world if he destroys it first.
This also happens to be why Henry cannot be considered a nihilist, which is another term I'm putting up on a shelf. Henry sees the world as inherently having value, that life has value, that there's something worth rebuilding (so long as he gets to dictate what the rules are...so long as he never gets hurt again). If he didn't care so much, he wouldn't be so damn upset about it all. He's a mess. He legitimately cares too much, the hurt is too deep.
That, in combination with the perspective warping from not only his absorptive quality but also 20 years of MKULTRA/Hawkins National Lab Fuckery, has created the mentality we see in ST4 and the actions it has manifested in (again, ignoring timelines).
Vecna is a violent, lab-made hypocrite with a touch of trauma-borne misanthropy, for sure, but he's not a psychopath.
tl; dr: Psychopathy is not synonymous with "villainous man disorder". Henry Creel is not a psychopath, though as it stands he is technically our villain.
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pascaloverx · 5 months
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Invisible Bonds: The Power of Destiny
Author's Note: This fanfic contains possible strong language and explores themes of unconventional love. The relationship between the protagonists will be handled with sensitivity, without explicit scenes.
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Chapter Seven
You and Jungkook decide to head back home almost at the same time. Perhaps it's the numerous questions about your connection or the realization that you could be doing something better if you weren't at Hoseok's house. The truth is, everything that happened in the past few days has been strange enough, and all you want is to go home, take a nice shower, and binge-watch some series.
"Want some company?" Jungkook asks as he climbs the stairs of your building.
"Don't you think we've spent a lot of time together since this soulmate thing happened?" You ask, trying not to sound rude. But the truth is, a little more, and you and Jungkook might become one person.
"Is that your way of saying I've been too clingy?" Jungkook asks.
"It's my way of saying that I need to take my shower now and I need to be alone. Not to mention that at some point anyone would get sick of following someone around for so long." You answer. Jungkook approaches you and caresses your face gently.
"I would never get sick of spending time with my precious other half." Jungkook says so sweetly that you melt when you hear it. At that moment, you decide to give Jungkook a peck on the lips.
"In that case, would you like to come to my place?" You say between little kisses that you're smelling from Jungkook.
"No need to suggest that twice; let's head up, and I'll come to your place after grabbing a change of clothes." You find it curious how Jungkook liked the idea of ​​going to your apartment. Then you kiss him on the cheek and you head to your floor. But what you didn't expect was a beautiful woman standing in front of Jungkook's apartment.
"You told me you needed some time from us, and I gave you that, but I'm not waiting any longer." The unfamiliar woman says, looking at Jungkook and running into his arms. You feel a strong urge to freak out until you sense a tightness in your chest. Jungkook lightly hugs the woman and you watch everything carefully. Her body seems to want closer proximity to him, while he seems to be in a awkward situation.
"I don't think we should be like this while you're with someone else." The woman says after stepping back and finally noticing your presence.
"In fact, I'm just a neighbor. I'll leave you two alone." You say, trying not to look at either of them and heading towards your apartment door. Jungkook remains silent, which honestly irritates you deeply. But before saying anything rash, you close your apartment door.
For a moment you feel like throwing everything away. That's when you heard a knock on the door, feeling something boil inside you. Thinking it was Jungkook you opened the door very quickly, but to your surprise it wasn't. It was Taehyung, with an expression like a deer caught in headlights. His eyes were gently filled with tears.
"What happened, Taehyung?" You ask, surprised by your best friend's presence at your door.
"You know, I used to believe that soulmate love was the most powerful love there is. And I clung to that idea for a while, but seeing you and Jungkook made me realize that the strongest love is the one that messes with your head." As Taehyung speaks, you find yourself processing his words, and a mixture of emotions swirl within you. The weight of his confession hangs in the air, and you can't help but feel a sense of vulnerability.
“What are you talking about Tae?” You say confused, approaching him.
"I'm telling you, I'm not marrying Haewon anymore because I can't get you out of my head, no matter how hard I try." Taehyung says while looking intensely in your eyes and you don't know how to react.
“What the fuck is this Taehyung?” You question, wondering how he expects you to react to so much information.
"I love you. That's what this is all about. You may not accept this or think I'm a monster for loving you when I was engaged until a few hours ago. But I love you." He says it so impulsively, that you don't recognize him. For years you've been waiting for this man to stand in front of you the way he is now. But not like this, Haewon deserves more than that. You all deserve it.
"There's still time for you to take back what you just said and go to your fiancée and tell her that nervousness made you make a mistake." Is all you can say, pulling away from Taehyung. At that moment you just want to close the door and pretend that all this didn't happen but when you try to close the door, Taehyung enters follows you. Now the two of you are inside your apartment just inches away from each other, completely alone. You know this isn't going to end well.
"Tell me that you don't feel the same and I'll leave. All you have to do is say those words looking into my eyes." Taehyung says as he moves even closer to you. You stare at him pretending to have some selfcontrol.
"I... I can't feel the same as you. This feeling is selfish, you have a person that has the destiny sealed to be yours. There's no way to completely escape this, Taehyung. " You say controlling yourself and walking away, but you feel your eyes filling with tears.
“I can’t escape what I’m feeling for you too,Y/N. I haven't been able to concentrate properly since I found out that you and Jungkook are soulmates. I want to push you away from him every time I see him approach. He was my best friend and now I imagine myself doing unspeakable things to keep him away from you.Tell me how to get away from this, and I'm going to do it." Taehyung tone changes a little but you manage to see sincerity in his voice.
"Do as I did, watch the person you love be happy with who they are meant to be. Maybe one day it will be easier for both of us." You speak sincerely without even realizing that you are admitting to feeling something for him. But he notices, since he looks at you with passion, you are officially in the most shitty situation.
“Do you think we can pretend we don’t want each other?” Taehyung asks, looking at you curiously.
"No, but we can try." You respond with a weak smile, God knows you no longer have the strength for this discussion.
"Now, I'd like to try something else..." Taehyung says seconds before kissing you. Your first kiss is overwhelming. As if there was no room for doubt that you two are more than friends. Much more in fact. Taehyung's hands holding his waist while you put your arms around his neck as if to bring him closer. You forget for that moment all the problems that surround you because there is something strangely good about kissing someone you have such strong feelings for.
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