#and here i was thinking my review this time might be shorter but i suspect i will be wrong again

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Terrifier 2 (Leone, 2022)

I was not a fan of the first movie, whose cruelty I found a bit much to take despite thinking it was competent enough as far as modern slashers go, but I decided to give this a look given the fairly ecstatic reactions from my Letterboxd circle. And having seen it, I'm ready to throw my hands up in the air and admit that I don't get it. I found this overlong and lacking in any real grace notes, and as a result it might be my least favourite thing I've sat through in quite some time.

I see a lot of reviews praising it for its ambition, but is that just the runtime? Having a two and a half hour slasher seems maddening in concept (ninety minutes is the perfect runtime for these things), but I'm not sure the movie ever uses this runtime to its benefit. For all the narrative ideas here, none of them feel expansive or divorced enough from the movie's influences to have much novelty. There's no added scope to full up that runtime. Just more of the same. Just endless scenes of Art the Clown doing some insufferable epic mugging before brutally murdering and mutilating his victims in agonizing detail. (The mugging isn't just limited to Art; there's a pretty excruciating dream sequence as well.) While I generally think watching movies at faster speeds is idiotic, this is one case where I can sympathize with the impulse, as this feels like a ninety minute movie playing in slow motion.

In theory I'm the target audience for this, as I love violent horror movies and likely enjoy a lot of the same movies the filmmakers do. But with every gore gag, while I suspect most viewers might be impressed with the audacity of the bodily destruction being depicted, I found myself muttering "Seems a little excessive." So I found myself feeling disconnected from the majority of horror fans, as what appeals to me about splatter movies is less the extremity of the splatter itself but the way the splatter is delivered. The elaborate colour schemes and camera moves of Dario Argento, or the way Lucio Fulci will set up a thick fog of dread and pierce through it with a scene of horrific violence so that it carries a sledgehammer impact. I can't fault the quality of the special effects here, which depict acts of mutilation and dismemberment that stretch the physical possibilities of what can be done to the human body. But the presentation of these scenes is monotonous, Art mugging for endless minutes, taking apart his victims' bodies, all shot in uninspired compositions and a hideous colour scheme. (I found this movie extremely unpleasant to look at for different reasons than the filmmakers intended.) Perhaps if the movie brought a viewpoint to this violence other than "check out how cool this looks!" I might have gotten something more out of it, but especially at this runtime, I found the effect numbing more than anything else.

As for Art, I found him an effective villain in the first one, but after this, I'd be happy to never look at his stupid fucking face ever again. In the shorter runtime, I found him creepy enough, but here, I think it becomes clear how manufactured a presence he is, something too obviously designed to really unsettle. There's a found quality to some of the creepiest slasher villains, something tossed off, simple enough to be both plausible and needle into your subconscious. Look at Michael Myers with his William Shatner mask or Jason in the second Friday the 13th with his potato sack. Total blank slates. Body language defined purely by their capacity for murder. Look at Freddie Krueger in the original Nightmare on Elm Street and the way he feels like a collection of disconnected horrific sensations. Then compare them to Art the Clown and his overly detailed makeup and costuming, his elaborate physical gestures. I know which one I find creepier.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Exposed

Warnings: nonconsent (fingering, oral, intercourse)

This is dark!Steve with a side of Peter Parker and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your after hours fling isn’t as secret as you thought.

Note: Here’s a one shot about Steve being a prick and Peter being a sweetheart. So all in all, I’d say my work is done here. Enjoy me ruining another reader.

Thank you. Love you guys!

Please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

You found it hard to focus on Pepper’s words. She tapped the inside of a folder with her pen as you pretended to follow along with whatever it was she was saying. She liked her little lessons. Liked to feel like she was actually teaching you how to use a photocopier. You suspected, in a way, that she would miss her days as Tony’s assistant. 

Her maternity leave was looming closer and she was not to return to her old position. She would only come back as Tony’s partner and so your position was to, hopefully, be permanent. Thus you had to know the ins and outs of her job; how to appease the man who was never satisfied.

You peeked up again as Peter watched you from just outside Tony’s office. He flipped his phone around in his hand as he tapped his toe impatiently. He winked and quickly glanced at his phone as Pepper closed the folder. She handed it to you and waved you after her as she marched over to her tall desk.

“You know, Tony doesn’t mind you,” She said as she sorted through the papers in front of her. “Which is reassuring considering he’s not an easy person to impress. You have no idea how hard I had to work to get him to see me as more than a glorified barista. You’ll thank me that he now gets his own coffee. Mostly.”

“I am already grateful,” You assured her. 

You had been a temp for a good year before you were hired on at Stark Tower. Your time had been spent bouncing between offices where you did little more than load keurig pods and butter scones.

“If I’m being honest, I like you too,” She said begrudgingly. “They do say the third times a charm.”

“Third time?” You wondered.

“Oh you know, you weren’t the first hire,” She shook her head. “A lot of people think they can just come in and hang out with the Avengers. Well, there’s more to this than being a sidekick and I can tell you take it all very seriously.”

“Serious,” You nodded eagerly. “Very. And you’re an amazing mentor. Even if it doesn’t work out here, everything I learned will have been worth it.”

“I think it will work out,” She gave a rare smile. “I’ll put in a good word for you.”

“Thank you so much,” You preened. “I really can’t say how much it means.”

“Just don’t forget to hide Tony’s whiskey after Fury’s visits,” She said. “It’ll save you a lot of trouble. Him, too.”

“He’ll be sober as a monk,” You promised. 

“Well, that might be even more problematic,” She mulled. “You’ll figure it out. It just takes… time.”

❗

You were surprised as you stepped out the front doors of Stark Tower. Peter’s stealth was tiring. He came up beside you as you joined the rush of the New York sidewalk. You gave him a reproachful look and kept your eyes forward.

“Peter, you know we’re not supposed to be fraternizing outside work,” You sighed.

“Fraternizing? Is that what we do?” His arm brushed yours as he kept stride with you.

“It’s in my contract,” You said. “And all the gossip I’ve heard, I can’t blame them for their caution. Natasha and Bruce; can you imagine?”

“I wasn’t here for that one,” Peter shrugged. “But I mean, they’re both pretty volatile so that was just a recipe for disaster.”

“And us?” You wondered. “Just because we’re not injected with superhuman anger doesn’t mean we’re exempt.”

“Where were all these arguments last night?” He teased.

“Behind closed doors,” You replied. “Where this belongs.”

“Come on, Tony loves me, I could talk him down,” He coaxed. “Like he can say shit. He married his secretary.”

“Oh, then let’s hope she’s his only wife, not his first wife,” You chided. “Peter, you can’t use your puppy dog eyes on him for this. My job security is nothing compared to yours. It’s not that simple to replace THE Spider-man… unless maybe some Tarantula-Dude comes out of the woodworks.”

“Tarantula-Dude?” He scoffed. 

“I admit, not as sleek as Spider-man but fearsome nonetheless,” You giggled.

You tripped over your own feet as you were suddenly swept into the alley. You gasped as Peter pushed you against the wall and pressed his lips to yours. You resisted at first but found yourself melding to him against the brick. He parted only when he was out of breath.

“Peter,” You whispered.

“I had to,” He purred. “If only to shut you up.”

You slapped his chest and huffed. “Thanks.”

“I mean really ‘Tarantula-Dude’?” He said. “What about Tarantu-lad?”

“Is he British?” You taunted.

“Maybe. That’s the mystery,” He grinned playfully and rubbed his nose against yours.

“Are we gonna stay here and argue over your replacement or did you wanna swing around mine?” You asked. 

“Well, it would be quicker--” He wrapped his arm around you and you grabbed his hand before he could raise it.

“I didn’t mean literally,” You stopped him. “Please, I don’t think nausea would do for a very enjoyable night.”

“Fine,” He sighed and dropped his shoulders. “Subway it is.”

❗

Pepper had an appointment and so you were left to the desk on your own. You were nervous for about a minute. Then you felt empowered. This would be your job and you had to take charge sooner or later. Unleash your inner Potts… with a shorter stick up your ass.

Your first challenge was Steve Rogers. Not much of a challenge. Polite as ever, he asked to see Tony and to his luck, the man had just been complaining of his boredom. The golden avenger smiled as he thanked you and headed in. Easy, unlike this pile of e-mails.

You sat and began to type away, keying in dates on Tony’s calendar and flagging certain messages for Pepper’s review. Steve left about an hour after his arrival and tapped his fingers on your desk as he gave a quick ‘see ya’. 

You watched him approach the elevator, pausing as the doors opened and Pepper stepped through with a tray of Starbucks in hand. They had a small chat as you readied your notes for Pepper and she finally neared as Steve disappeared behind the metal doors. She offered you your usual grande and you thanked her.

You stood and handed her the sheet of paper and started explaining the small details you weren’t sure about. She breezed through them one by one. It wouldn’t be impossible without her but you would be wise to stick close to her while you could. She seemed impressed with your brief solo act and said as much before she excused herself to take the other grande to Tony.

Your phone buzzed and you peeked over at the office. You slipped it from your pocket and scrolled through your notifications. A message from Peter, another from your mom, and a third from some unknown number. You opened the latter first. 

Your heart dropped at the image that popped out. It was you and Peter in the alley. Bodies framed the scene as they walked past but did not obscure the kiss. Your hand shook and you peeked up at the unread icon that hovered along the margin. You typed frantically and checked for Pepper over your shoulder.

‘Who is this?’ You texted back.

You were jittery as you waited for a response. You kept looking behind you to make sure Pepper couldn’t sneak up on you and your phone vibrated in your hand. You nearly dropped it as you read the answer.

‘7pm. Josie’s.’ It said.

‘Tell me who you are’. You keyed in.

‘Meet me and find out or I forward the picture.’ The sharp response blipped up.

‘7pm.’ You confirmed as you heard Tony’s office door. 

❗

You found it hard to concentrate for the rest of the day. Pepper seemed not to notice your mess ups and if she did, she seemed to write them off as an off day. You were thankful for her patience as you barely had any left. You wanted to figure out whoever was ridiculous enough to try to blackmail you.

And terrified.

You didn’t spend much time at your apartment. You made sure your mace was in your purse and charged your phone as much as you could. You turned on your location and the app that would alert your family to your last whereabouts should you not shut it off. You took a breath and readied yourself to plunge back into the city streets. To face the unknown.

Josie’s was close to your building. It was odd and made your stomach churn. Did this person know where you lived? Had they been following you? You suddenly felt as if your whole world had been invaded. As if you were being followed at that very moment; watched from across the street. 

You turned and glanced past the traffic. Nothing more than the usual pedestrians and storefronts. You turned back to Josie’s and walked through the door. It was as busy as any other place in the city at that time. You greeted the hostess and told her you were just looking for a seat at the bar. She waved you through and you ordered a water as you pulled out your phone.

‘I’m in the corner,’ The message popped up just as you looked at your screen. ‘Behind you to the left.’

You let out a shuddered breath and took your water. You wove between the tables and your nerves buzzed wildly. You neared the man in the corner and you couldn’t believe it. The broad shoulders, the blond hair… it couldn’t be. You turned and sat across from the man; not a stranger at all.

“Steve,” You uttered as you nearly overturned your glass. “It was you?”

He smiled but said nothing. He signalled for a server as his eyes clung to you. A waiter appeared at his shoulder.

“Gin and soda for the lady,” He said. “Thank you.”

The waiter left and you shook your head. You placed your phone on the table and touched your forehead.

“I don’t understand…”

“I didn’t either. Not at first,” He began. He took a drink from the brown bottle before him. “I didn’t think much of you when we met. Just another temp, but then I noticed more. I couldn’t help but wonder--” He paused as the waiter returned with your drink and set it down. “Peter? Really? He’s a kid.”

“I’m as much a kid as him,” You argued. 

Steve licked his lips as he considered you.

“Never seemed much of a kid to me,” His brow twitched. “A little clueless. Oblivious, but mature.”

“What do you want?” You asked.

“I want you to enjoy your drink,” He pointed to the glass. “Please.”

You stared at him.

“I want you to tell me what you want.” You said slowly.

“Drink and we’ll talk,” He said.

You glanced around and slowly reached for the glass. You lifted it and the alcohol burned your nostrils. You took a gulp and it stung your throat and chest. You set it down and took the lime from the rim and squeezed its juice onto the ice. Steve drank his beer and shifted in his chair.

“What do I want?” He asked. “Well… I think if I went into detail we might be here all night.”

You pressed your fingers against the condensation. It sent a chill down your back.

“We’ll start easy,” His eyes were dark and calculating. His jaw ticked as they roved over you. “First I want you to tell me about Peter.”

“What about Peter?” You fidgeted in your seat.

“The first time. What was it like? What did he do?” He tilted his head. “What did you do?”

“Why are you doing this?” You asked.

“Because I can do better than him.” He said. “Tony’s golden child. You know, me and Stark, we’ve been working together for a whole decade and this kid just walks in and… I’ve been butting heads with the damn billionaire playboy jackass for ten fucking years. He thinks he knows everything because he built a suit. And Peter, Peter is infallible because he worships Tony exactly how he wants.”

You were quiet. His anger was unusual and frightening. You’d never seen him anywhere near upset, never even imagined it. It was like he’d flipped a switch.

“Well I don’t kneel at the temple of Stark. Not like that kid.” Steve snarled. “I’m supposed to follow him into battle? Last time I checked, I was the Captain. I led men into Europe and that spider-dumbass thinks the war was in 1899.”

“I don’t… What does that have to do with me?”

“Because the kid isn’t perfect and you’re proof of that but he can get away with it.” Steve steamed. “No, but I won’t let him this time.”

“Steve. I’ll stop. It was a stupid fling between two naive--”

“Too late,” He interrupted. “You can stop if you want, I won’t tell you either way about the kid. I don’t care what you do for him, I care about what you do for me.”

You were silent. Your hand was trembling and you wiped your fingers on your jeans.

“But really, you won’t be messing with the boy once you’ve had a man,” Steve smirked. “So, go on. Tell me.”

“I-I--”

“Calm down, finish your drink,” He said. “We have all night.”

You chewed your lip and gripped the glass. You struggled not to choke as you drained the glass. You wanted this done with. Whatever game he was playing needed to end. You slammed the glass down and he signalled for a refill.

“I’m good,” You said.

“Have another. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.” He slithered. “Now… go on.”

You rubbed your fingertips on the table and squirmed in your chair. You took a shaky breath and the waiter set down you refill and took the empty glass. He left and you swallowed. 

“I don’t know… we… we were just making out. Harmless, really. And it just… escalated.”

“Come on, you know I want more than that,” He crooned. 

“Shit…” You swore under your breath. “I… we were kissing and then… he… touched me.” He nodded and leaned forward intently. “...fingered me…”

“Did you cum?” Steve asked.

You nodded and looked away. You struggled to find your voice again.

“And when he finished that, h-he… ate me out.” You admitted. “And I returned the favour.”

“Oh, and you came again.” He said.

“Yes,” You grumbled. “Then… we… you know…”

“How?” 

“I… was on top at first and then he… pushed me onto my back.”

“And…”

“I came again and he wasn’t long after,” You stared at the table. 

“Inside you?” 

“No, no,” You took a drink without thinking. “No, just… on my stomach.”

“Mmm,” He hummed. “Impressive. I didn’t think the kid had it in him.”

“Are we done here?”

“At this bar? Nearly. You finish that and we’ll go.” He said.

“Go where?” You asked.

“Your place isn’t. That’d be most convenient, wouldn’t it?”

Your heart dropped. Your lips parted in shock as he stared back at you coolly.

“Or… since you seemed so excited in the alleyway, we can head out back and--”

“My place is fine,” You blurted out. “Alright? Jesus… what is… Steve, you’re not who I thought you were.”

“I’ve always been who people want me to be,” He said. “It’s boring.”

“So what, you’ve chosen to torment me?”

“Chosen?” He toyed with the word. “I always think people come to you for a reason.”

You rubbed your cheek, speechless. You took the glass and took a long sip as he watched. You cough as you reach the bottom and the ice slid against your lips. You placed the glass on the table and sat back. The rush of gin settled hotly in your cheeks and chest.

“Okay,” You said.

“Okay,” He smirked. “Let’s go.”

❗

You were still in disbelief as you unlocked your apartment door. Steve was close behind and followed swiftly as you stepped inside. You shut the door and locked it. You distanced yourself from your unwanted guest and tossed your keys on the side table. 

He slipped his jacket off and hung in on the mostly empty rack. You set your purse beside your keys and took your phone. A message from Peter. Steve snatched the phone before you could key in your response. His thumb glided over the screen as he did it himself.

‘Busy.’ Was all he typed. Peter wouldn’t like that.

Steve dropped the phone on the side table and neared. He tugged on your blazer eagerly.

“Come on,” He didn’t relent as he walked you backward into the living room. His hands brushed your tits as he looked around. “I like that couch.”

“Let’s just… go to the bedroom,” You quavered.

“Boring,” He said. “Hmm, or…” He glanced around again and thought. “Take your clothes off…” He slipped past you and dragged his fingers along your side. “Get on the chair.”

You turned to watch him as he rounded the chair and turned to stand behind it. He gripped the back of it as he lifted a brow impatiently. You rubbed your forehead as your head spun. It was the alcohol. It had to be. That tingle couldn’t be anything but the gin sinking into your veins.

You peeled your blazer off and dropped it on the couch as you slowly crossed the room. You stopped between the cushions and the coffee table as you kicked off your flats and unbuttoned your blouse. Steve watched as his fingers tightened on the chair. You noticed the way he pushed his pelvis out and rubbed against the chair subtly. You were clumsy as you pulled away the floral blouse and piled it atop your blazer.

Next you undid your pants and your hands shook nervously. You shimmied out of them and stood. You had nothing but your dark blue bra and polka-dot panties left to shield you. Steve grinned as he watched you, his tongue poked out just between his lips.

“All of it,” He breathed. 

You reached back and unhooked your bra. It fell loose and you quickly tore it away from your chest. You heard the low hiss of his breath but couldn’t look at him. You slid your fingers beneath the waist of your panties and swept them down in a single motion. You forced yourself straight before you could crumple into a ball.

“Wow,” Steve purred. “Come here, sweetie.”

Your eyes shot up at the pet name. You were revolted by his sickly tone. You obeyed him and approached the other side of the chair. He spun his finger in the air then pointed to the seat. You turned and lowered yourself onto the cushion.

His hands crawled down to your shoulders and he leaned over to cup your tits. He squeezed and his hot breath glossed over your head. He toyed with you as he rubbed his thumbs around your nipples and teased them as they hardened. He growled and slowly drew away.

He rounded the chair and stopped before you. He took your left leg and you braced yourself as he lifted it over the arm. He did the same with your left and you cringed as you were bared to him completely. He held your legs in place as you tried to close them.

“We can make this easy,” He warned as his finger tightened. You could feel his sheer strength in his grip. “But we can do it the hard way too.”

You sat back and let your legs drape over the arms. He let you go slowly and reached into his pocket. He took out his phone and you covered yourself as best you could without moving. He snickered and held up the lense.

“What are you doing?” You hissed.

“Move your hands,” He said. “Now.”

“What the f--”

“You keep it up and I’ll be certain to forward this picture directly,” He sneered. “But if you’re good, it’ll be my little secret.”

You sighed and dropped your arms. You looked away from him as he snapped the pictures. He turned and set his phone down on the coffee table when he finished. He returned to you and lowered himself to his knees. His eyes explored your body and settled between your legs.

“Well,” His fingers surprised you as he dragged two along your folds. “You might just be liking this more than you let on.”

You cringed as the slickness beneath his fingertips as he spread it around. You felt shaky as the alcohol swirled in your head. Your thighs twitched as he played with you, drawing circles around your clit and poking down along your entrance. He pulled his hand back and tasted your arousal with a hum.

“Responsive,” He remarked. “Eager, even…”

You closed your eyes and pressed your head against the back of the chair. His fingers pressed along your cunt again and he spread your lips so that you shivered at the sudden rush of cool air below. His tongue made you squeak as he bent over you. You gasped as his tongue worked slowly, deliberately.

He pushed his fingers inside you and your walls clenched around him. He sucked on your clit as he moved his fingers in and out carefully. You quivered and your breathing turned frantic as he plucked at your core. He added a third finger and you flinched. His tongue lapped quicker as his hand worked in tandem.

You whimpered as the pressure grew overwhelming. He slipped in a fourth finger and you whined. It hurt but felt good at the same time. He stretched you around his hand as his mouth kept you off-kilter. You quaked as your climax spiked and you cried out as you felt your cum gush around his hand.

You opened your eyes in a daze as the waves flowed over you. He pulled out of you slowly as he lifted his head. He wiped his fingers on your thigh and smeared your cum over your skin. He licked his lips clean and purred in delight. He looked over you and rubbed his crotch through his jeans. 

“Don’t move,” He reached for his phone again and took another photo. You covered your face in shame as he tossed it away again. “Good girl.”

You heard his zipper and winced as he slapped your thigh suddenly.

“Sit up,” He ordered. 

You pushed yourself straight in the chair as you pulled your legs from the arms. Your eyes widened as he stepped forward and his cock nearly poked your chin. He was… packing. That wasn’t to say Peter wasn’t equipped but you felt entirely unprepared for Steve. He gripped the base and wiggled his cock before you.

“Go on,” He tickled your cheek with his fingers.

He pressed his tip against your lips and you slowly parted them. You closed your eyes as he slid deeper. He hit the back of your throat and you gagged. You reached up to grab the top of his jeans as you tried to pull back. He forced himself further. You struggled not to choke or vomit as he pushed himself to his limit.

“Breath through your nose,” He said but you couldn’t even do that. 

You clawed at his jeans and he pulled back only to push back in. He bobbed you up and down his length as he gripped your head between his hands. Your mouth made sloppy sounds around him as your slobber dripped down your chin. You slapped at his hard stomach as you tried to catch your breath but every delve into your throat had his hips moving even faster.

Your hands slipped down weakly as you were certain you would pass out. He groaned and pushed you away suddenly. You fell back on the chair and slumped against the arm. He came clearer through your blurred vision as he clung to the top of his jeans and took deep breaths.

He calmed himself and pushed the denim down. He undressed one piece at a time, though he grew more impatient the more he shed. When he was completely naked, you closed your legs and tried to push yourself up in the chair. His body was forged of a strength so plain to see it sent a chill through you. Of fear, of desire; you couldn’t decide in your addled mind.

He pulled you up and turned you roughly. He nudged you towards the chair until you lifted your knees up onto the cushion. He held you at the edge and pushed your knees apart with his. He took your hands and set them on the back of the chair, his chest against your back as his cock poked your thigh.

“You should hold on,” He taunted as he hooked your fingers over the chair. 

He retreated, only for a moment and his hand made you wince as he trailed his fingertips down your spine. You shivered and he stepped closer. He guided his tip along your ass and pressed it along your folds. He paused at your entrance and spread his hand over your ass.

He slowly impaled you. You whimpered as your walls welcomed him yet ached at his size. He held himself inside of you and squeezed your ass. His hand slipped around your hip and he rocked your body along his length carefully. You moaned and he echoed you.

“Keep on, like that,” He growled. “Oh, yeah.”

You clung to the chair as you pushed your body back and forth. Your cunt hugged him so tightly that each thrust was heavenly. Though you tried to fight the thrumming within, you found yourself moving faster and faster. Hungry to take all him. Your ass slapped against his pelvis loudly as you let out delirious mewls.

“Fuck, I knew you wanted me,” He purred. “Look at that pussy. Oh, god, so fucking tight.”

You were maddened by his words as you pressed your head to the back of the chair. You grunted as your hips burned from your efforts. He snaked his arm around you and felt around for your clit. He swirled his finger around it as your cries grew frantic.

“I want you to cum, sweetie,” He snarled in your ear as his chest pressed to your sweat back. His hand gripped the chair just above your head and he rutted into you without relent. “That’s it. I can feel it…” He hissed as your walls pulsed around him and your orgasm came out in beastly grunts. “Oh, fuck, oh fuck.”

You didn’t stop. Couldn’t as he kept his fingers on your bud and pounded into. He pressed down and rubbed until you came again. Your arousal soaked your thighs as it dripped out around him.

He grabbed your hips and lifted you so that you squealed in surprise. He dragged you back so that you had to support yourself on the arms as he held up your ass. He fucked you even harder and his groans grew deeper. His hands slid down to your thigh as he drew your legs back against him and you bent your legs around his.

“You like it?” He growled. “Say it. Say you want me.”

“I-I-I--” Your voice died as you came again and your body shook violently. “I want...you.”

“You like it when I fuck you like this?” He crashed into you over and over. “Hmm?”

“Yes, yes, y--yes,” You cried out.

“Tell me I’m better than him.” Steve sneered. 

“You--You…” You lifted your head as you resisted another ripple. “You’re better than…” You opened your eyes and your heart dropped. “...him.”

Peter sat in the window. The one he liked to sneak in on his nights off. His face was flushed with shock and hurt. Steve thrust into you so hard you exclaimed and you felt him cum inside you as his hips spasmed against your ass.

“Peter…” You gasped as you tried to wriggle away from Steve but he held you against him, his cock twitching inside of you still.

“Hey, Pete,” Steve breathed and lowered you back to the chair. “I thought you told him you were busy, sweetie.”

“She did,” Peter croaked as he turned in the window frame. “I…guess I should’ve called first.”

“Peter--” You tried again to pull away from Steve as Peter leaped from the window. 

Steve kept himself inside of you as if relishing in the mess. You tried to elbow him and he caught your arm. You struggled with him until he had you pressed against the back of the chair.

“I can’t believe you,” You said. “You… you--”

“Better he knew the truth,” Steve began to move again and the friction sent a shiver through you. “Poor boy.”

[draganasimpsforjeff]

Hunting Dogs (proxies x reader) Chapter One

This is based on the story of mine on Quotev but due to it being labeled and now taking off index no one can see it unless searching my username so I figured I’d also post it on here cuz why not? Plus I like tumblr better anyways*shrug*

"Did you check the perimeter?" A dark haired man with a feminine mask questioned to his younger colleague who nodded in response. "A-all clear." That was what he expected out of the younger man. A simple straight answer. No one had time to have an explanation during a high stress leveled mission. A man's hair was clenched in the dark haired man's hand. A rag was shoved into his mouth, only letting him breathe through his nose while his eyes budged out in fear.

"Masky, you know what needs to be done. " A voice changer broke Masky out of his stare at the old man and back to his original partner, Hoodie. "I just want to take my time, after all..Boss never mentioned a deadline." He chuckles darkly, bending to the height of the old man.

"We don't need to bring attention to ourselves. This city is highly populated and we can't risk being caught. Get on with it." Hoodie forces his tone down, but trying to remain his point clear about how this was not a   game. They were not in the Slender forest or their usual hunting grounds.

This was an unfamiliar city with not that many hiding places. The dark alleys being their own source of protection.

"Syringe. " Masky held out his palm, waiting for the messy haired man to hand him what he requested. Toby reached into his pocket, careful not to accidentally drop it or prick himself with it. He hands it over and Masky grinned behind his mask. Hoodie looked around, scanning the area high and low with his eyes squinting every now and then to make sure no one was hiding in the dark before crossing his arms tightly and watched Masky.

"Okay, pops. I'm going to ask you some questions, but I'll need to take the cloth out of your mouth. No screaming, got it? If you did, I will not hesitate to use this." He held up the syringe, the dim light post, providing enough of it's source to give the liquid a shine. His grin grew wider, flicking it and turns his attention back to the man at his feet.

He nodded and Masky considered him for a moment, reaching down and takes it out. "Now. Tell me, Paul Densie. Why did you think it was smart to go looking for our kind?" he asks as his eyes never left the man's face. He swallowed, breathing shakily before choosing his words carefully. "It was not my choice. They were strict orders. I wasn't suppose to be taking up that case, you have the wrong man."

"We never have the wrong man." Masky snickered and grabbed the man's face. "And why was it so important for you assholes to go searching? Huh!? What was the fucking point?!"

"Masky be quiet you're go-"

"Shut the fuck up Hoodie, before I plunge this syringe into you instead of him. " Masky spat with venom, turning his attention back to the old man, taking a quick breath, looking back up at the man. "Now...answer the question. " He was glad that it was dark out so the hostage couldn't see the insanity that was brewing behind his eyes. He wanted nothing man then to wrap his large hands onto the bastards neck and squeeze till his head popped off.

"A f-few of our men have been filed as missing. We had some of our coworkers do some tracking and along with the timeline, it led us to the ones we suspect now. And once we find those bastards, you pricks will be done for!" A hard slap echoed from his face and Masky grabbed the guy's collar, bringing him close to his face. "You must be the dumbest person I ever met if you think your team can even come close to us. You will never find us. And we will make sure of that. We do whatever we need to to protect ourselves even if that means killing every. single. fucker. that. gets. in. the . way. We have our own strict orders to follow and we go through them. After all, we are just a bunch of hunting dogs." He grinned, stabbing the man in the chest with the syringe.

The man froze with his eyes bulging out, looking up at the dim light before falling down to the concrete beside Masky's leg.

A loud gasp caught their attention and they snapped their heads in the direction to see a girl with a work uniform on, most likely one of the local restaurants on the strip. One command made her break into a run, following her trace and leaving the alley.

"Here you go, Mr. Saka. Your usual." Y/N smiles at the middle aged man who came in here at least three times a week.  He was the regular's that you have gotten to known pretty well. You were still a newbie when it came to this job, but you made it one of your concerns to get to know people pretty well. You had a fresh start and you didn't want it to be like how your life was before moving. You saved enough money from your last job when you lived in a smaller town with your mom, but things were getting too bad at home that you went to school full time and a job. You were in senior year of high school and now you just worked full time at one of the well known restaurants in town.

It was actually the first place you applied to. The hourly pay wasn't great, but it was enough and plus you made tips. One of the upsides to getting to know people in a city like this, especially with regulars was that they paid you decently. And it was mostly always busy during the day with people rushing in for their break at work or tourists, but at night it was mostly drunks or regulars or some Yelp reviewer...you had a lot of those, they never got off the company's back that you worked for.

But you hadn't messed up once so you didn't worry about it.

"Thank you, sweetheart. My, I gotta say it's like you practically live here. Do you work full time?" Mr. Saka asks, cutting into his pancakes. He was one of those people that liked breakfast food at night and you thought it was funny when everyone else was having dinner and he was the only one ordering a breakfast platter.

"Yes, well, I'm trying to have enough money to where I don't have to worry so much about bills or if I want to get enough food for the month. It's hard, yes, but that's the adult life I guess." You sighed, running the damp rag across the counter, cleaning up from the last customer.

"Just try to take care of yourself. I would hate to see you get burnt out from all the hard work, besides, you're my favorite. " he sends a playful wink before drowning his pancakes in syrup. You chuckled, breaking into a small smile. "You're my favorite too, Mr. Saka. "

"Y/N, you may clock out if you like. We have a newbie coming in tomorrow and we might need you to come in early for an extra pair of hands." Your boss says, looking over the time sheet. You nodded, sighing a little as you hated coming in early especially when you thought you were going to have a short shift tomorrow. "Alright, I will. Goodnight everyone!" You said, sliding your time card in and clocking out. "Have a goodnight, Mr. Saka. Stay out of trouble." You give him a small pat on the shorter, sending him into a fit of laughter.

"As if!"

You chuckled once more at his comment, opening the door and walking out. The air was a bit chilly and you were glad to have brought your hoodie. It wasn't the thickest, but it covered you up. So, it did it's job.

As cliche and dumb as it was, you usually took shortcuts home. The city was too alive at times like this, making it nearly impossible to not be trampled by other people or take nearly an hour to get home. With a short cut, you cut the time in half. It was still exhausting after a long shift at work, but it was something.

You heard shouting and stopped dead in your tracks. You heard an old man speaking and furrowed your eyebrows. Should I see what is happening? Call the cops? Turn around and leave? What?

But before you could register what your body was doing, you moved away from the shadows and gasped at the sight of an man, sending a needle into the old man's chest and watching him fall to the ground.

Three heads snapped at you and you cursed silently, before turning your heel in the opposite direction, waiting for the signal to break into a run.

"GET HER!"

So here's the first chapter. I hoped you liked it and there might be chapters with cliffhangers, so expect that. This is going to be a dark creepypasta x reader, so if don't like that then don't read any further as topics will get triggering, just a warning also gonna use tags so maybe you guys can find it easier cuz i don’t know how to do masterlist

[darringauthier]

The Woman In The Window (2021)

Genre: Mystery, Drama

Who's In It: Amy Adams, Anthony Mackie, Gary Oldman, Fred Hechinger, Wyatt Russell, Julianne Moore, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Brian Tyree Henry

Who Directed It: Joe Wright

Plot: An agoraphobic woman living alone in New York begins spying on her new neighbors, only to witness a disturbing act of violence.

Run Time: 1 Hour 40 Minutes

IMDB Score: 5.7

Metascore: 41

Why I Watched It: The cast

How I Watched It: Netflix Canada

Random Thoughts: Boy does this have Oscar hopes written all over it. Call it more Oscar bait than Oscar buzz cause sadly it didn't have any buzz. Just look at that cast and it's lead by a multi time nominee that hasn't won an Oscar yet.

I guess at some point this ended up a Netflix movie and Netflix kind of does what it does to most films gives it a little hype and then it's a cog in the wheel. Also this film got pretty bad reviews and I'll be honest I was kind of dreading watching it, oddly what sold me was not only the cast but that the run time was well under two hours.

What I Liked: I'm a sucker for Amy Adams, I like her a lot but oddly don't watch most of her films as they all do kind of feel Oscar baity for me. Here she's picked a throw back movie, this easily could have been in the fifties. Now it's weird cause this looks like Rear Window knock-off but it does end up as a "Is she or Isn't she crazy" movie. The film works for me and at times it shouldn't but I not only bought it but I cared for Adams character and Adams did a good job of shading this character and giving her some depth. This character good easily have been a very and sad and pathetic drunk character and Adams does a good job of showing that this one is holding on by her finger nails. There's two reasons this film worked for me, one was Adams and two I'm a sucker for this sub-genre.

The thing I liked about it the most is that they played more into the mystery genre, more a thriller than a heavy drama. For me when I saw this cast and director I thought well this is high end snotty Oscar fodder but what they went with was more B-Movie thriller which worked for me. I liked the fact that they used Adams as a flawed character but at her core she knows what she saw. The only thing I wished is that they went more campy and turned it into a Joan Crawford film.

Now the supporting cast is loaded her but sadly most of them don't have a lot to do, the stand out for me was Brian Tyree Henry, he was very good as just a decent human being who happened to be a cop, he gives Adams character not only the benefit of the doubt but respect.

I also liked this was just a hour 40 minutes, if this dragged past two hours I think I would have disliked it. I enjoyed it but it's very flawed but keeping it shorter also kept the pacing and tone up and it does work as a mystery thriller.

What I Didn't Like: It's clear this was going to be a bigger movie and I would guess longer cause some major actors who are on the poster are barely in it. Jennifer Jason Leigh might have one or two lines of dialogue, anyone could have played that role. Julianne Moore has one seen, granted it's a long scene and it's good her and Adams are very good together. There's a version of this movie where they have extended scenes together and end up being friends. Anthony Mackie is a voice in the film, pretty much. Gary Oldman is there to scream and be unpleasant. Wyatt Russell is there to be either a red herring or a suspect. My point in a smaller film the roles would have went to good character actors and not name stars. It helps and hurts the film. You want to see most of them more.

Now the trailer gives a lot away and I won't go big into spoilers but the main thing in the trailer and really the main plot point is Adams sees a murder and says it was Gary Oldman's wife, they live across the street and Adams had spent time with the women she saw killed. We find out Oldman comes over with the police saying that women wasn't his wife, who is played by Moore, it's Jennifer Jason Lee. Now this sets up is Adams crazy, I won't say how it plays out but boy it's a very simple twist, so simple one line of dialogue would have solved this in about five minutes.

Even though in the end I liked the film, I will say it's a bit much. It could have been learner and meaner and also more pulpy. They get stuck in the heavy drama where they should have leaned into the pulp and camp. I don't love the ending it goes on too long and yes the twist and there's two of them aren't jaw dropping. Also they seemed to throw in Adams' character being agoraphobic for little reason, I guess they wanted to do Rear Window with a dash of Vertigo, it doesn't play that big of a part, they could have done more with it. The film does rely heavily on cliches and troupes in the last act. There's one seen past the mid way mark when we learn something about Adams' character that just plays out weird and surreal, the way it's handled and shot and with so many people around just seemed awkward, it's suppose to be a big twist and it doesn't play that way. Also kind of wished it was more atmospheric. Joe Wight is a good director but the film kind of lacked flare, it was more workmanlike.

Final Thoughts: It's not nearly as bad as I heard but it isn't as could as it could have been. It fell somewhere in the middle for me, I enjoyed it.

Rating: 6/10

[horrorlad]

Horrorlad Reviews: The Dentist (1996)

Or at least, like, talks about it a bunch. 

Boy was I overthinking my first real Horror Lad post! It was going to be Grave Encounters, but that will have to wait, because I got insomnia and decided to rewatch a movie I hadn’t seen seen since I was 14, which wound up being the perfect opportunity to write out a post!

Let’s talk about The Dentist!

So, The Dentist is a 1996 movie starring Corbin Bernsen. It was directed by Brian Yuzna (one of the producers of Re-Animator, he also directed the 1989 body horror film Society which I haven’t seen, though a cursory image search tells me I need to add to my watch list immediately).

Anyway, The Dentist is about a teethsman who catches his wife giving some other guy a BJ and gets so grossed out about it that he has a nervous breakdown about, uh, how dirty mouths are, I guess? He loses his absolute shit (though he didn’t seem to have it all that together to begin with; this guy’s Jack Torrance is way more Kubrick than King), and we the audience get to tag along for all the wacky fun.

Full disclosure: I can’t give an unbiased review of this movie. I watched it several times in high school, then completely forgot about it for ten years, until tonight. There’s too much nostalgia wrapped up in it.

That said, upon rewatching it, I am in LOVE with the structure of it as a film. You know how, some movies, you can tell that the people behind the scenes are having a blast? This is one of those movies. The structure of the shots vary wildly, and I suspect that there was not one tripod or stabilizer on that set. The makeup and effects are fun, every actor has an opportunity to shine at least once, and the pacing is totally bonkers. I will note, however, that for a slasher movie the confirmed death count is pretty low, AND most of the murders are less dentistry-related than you might expect. Still, it’s a good time, and right now it’s available to watch for free (with commercials) on Tubi, which is pretty sweet!

Read on for the content warnings and spoilers. In the meantime, I give The Dentist 3.5 tanks of nitrous oxide (use with caution).

Content warnings and plot synopsis below the cut.

Content Warnings

Also, I don’t really know what to classify this one as, but there is a lot of “ick” factor to this movie — rotting teeth, sludge, etc. If you’re easily squicked out by that sort of stuff, I’d proceed with caution.

Dental torture (and how!) – it’s basically the whole movie, folks.

Sexual assault – multiple instances, including a character having their head forced down while giving oral sex (in a daydream), and another character being assaulted while on nitrous oxide.

Spousal abuse (physical and emotional) – again, there’s a lot of this.

Child abuse – A young child has their gums stabbed by the dentist.

Animal abuse – a dog is shot offscreen.

--------------------------------------

Okay, spoiler time!

Whoo boy, here we go!

I have no idea why I watched this movie so much as a teen. Probably because it was free on FearNet (remember FearNet?) and I would watch just about anything.

Watching it as an adult, my first thought is… man this is weirdly paced. My second thought is that there’s a lot more non-dental-related murders than I would have expected, but we’ll come back to that.

So, our hero(?) is a dentist, and we meet him at the beginning of a framing device, miming dentistry and offering to tell us about his story. The bulk of the movie is then a flashback about how he got to where he is, interspersed with his monologuing or whatever. We meet him and his wife (who are a straight couple in a movie and thus required to completely hate one another) on their anniversary, a fact which becomes clear while he’s in the middle of throwing a fit about his laundry.

Pictured: a totally hinged man. Nothing unhinged going on here, no sir.

At any rate, he gets all suspicious after an interaction with the pool guy, and catches his wife having an affair with the guy. He continues framing-device-monologuing about decay and the world being filthy and all that, daydreams about assaulting his wife and murdering the pool boy, etc. He follows the pool guy to the neighbor’s house, acts all weird, shoots a dog — your basic Tuesday.

Eventually, he winds up at the office, starts hallucinating, assaults a couple of patients, and finally calls an early end to the day (self care is important). We get this delightful (in a heavy-handed sort of way) scene that keeps cutting back and forth between him setting out spooky dental tools and his wife getting dressed for the big anniversary surprise he’s has planned, and that’s when things really start to go haywire.

Okay.

So like.

I get that he’s a dentist.

I get that he’s a dentist whose whole shtick is having the themed exam rooms (though why we have aaaalll these rooms for a bunch of hygienists and one dentist is a little beyond me).

But you mean to tell me that this dude’s special anniversary surprise for his wife was to show her his new, opera-themed dental exam room?

“Oh, honey… you really, really shouldn’t have…”

Like, I know he’s settled on a revenge plot by this point, but I still definitely believe that this guy was legitimately planning the entire time to show his wife his fancy new dental suite as an anniversary surprise. Not to be that guy, but no wonder she was having an affair.

Honestly though, I love this scene. I love the camera PoV shots as he shows off the dental suite, I love the excessive gesturing with his left hand. I love how the scene starts off with his point-of-view of her, and then transitions into her point-of-view of him, cut with those big beautiful teeth-yanking shots. It’s ridiculous.

And then, they get home, he has some monologuing about the pool, etc.

Next scene, it’s the next day, some cops come to ask questions about the murdered dog, his wife is out back on a pool chair with her giant sunhat covering her face (the way normal, totally-not-drugged people hang out by the pool) while the pool guy does his pool guy stuff. Eventually the cops leave, yadda yadda yadda, the pool guy scoops the wife’s tongue out of the pool, he sees how fucked up she is, the dentist murders the shit out of him. It’s beautiful.

Don’t you love it when you finish your to-do list first thing in the morning?

The end.

Wait, no, that’s not right.

Somehow, there’s still almost half a movie left.

This movie starts with this dude fighting with his wife, catching his wife cheating with the pool guy, hallucinating his wife’s nasty mouth on everyone, etc. You’d think that, with his wife tortured all to shit and the pool guy dead, the movie would have wrapped up.

I mentioned before that the pacing of the movie is weird, which it is. I mean, he has his “oop guess I’m evil now” scene on his way to work the next day, which basically means that just over half of this movie is the origin story. It could be longer, with the big climactic nonsense taking up the last quarter or so. It could be shorter, with him freaking out about his wife, losing his shit, and having a proper dental rampage. Instead, The Dentist flies in the face of conventional story structure.

But this man is a busy man. He’s a dentist, damn it.

He has to get back to work!

Things are happening fast now, let’s get condensed.

We go back to work, he pulls some malpractice shit on that lady whose dog he shot yesterday, then strangles Jessica-the-hygienist (I think that’s her job) when she calls him on it. Later, a man from the IRS comes in and uses the dentist’s shady tax junk to get free dental work which is, uh, inadvisable. IRS man, Marvin Goldblum, starts talking about our dentist’s wife (and about how unhinged shiksas are in bed, in case we somehow we didn’t piece together that he’s an awful Jewish caricature), and I’m sure the rest of his appointment goes totally normally.

Get a guy who looks at you like this.

Meanwhile, the cops are definitely onto him regarding the murder of that dog (after all, murdering dogs is THEIR turf). They go to his house, where he left the body of the pool guy he murdered just laying around outside for anyone to find (which they do). Then they go upstairs and find his wife, who is alive but so fucked up.

Back at the office, Karen-the-other-hygienist, looking for her coworker who got murdered earlier, stumbles upon the very fucked up IRS dude. We get to listen to the dentist give a little monologue about how grossed out he is that his wife put some dude’s “dirty, rotten… in her mouth!” before he injects air into a vein in Karen-the-other-hygienist’s neck to kill her.

Next up, this girl who has been waiting for two days to get her braces off gets called back. She’s adorable and chipper, so this, of course, can only go well. When’s the last time you had your dentist pull a gun on you?

Our scrappy youngster runs off, and he gives chase (we find that Mr. Goldblum’s jaw elongation procedure is going well by the way), before eventually letting her go after she promises to take very, very good care of her teeth.

After all, he’s got his next job to get to.

Let’s go teach dental students the importance of pulling out everyone’s teeth!

Yeeep, he’s a teacher! And after he shoots one of his students while hallucinating, the cops show up, resulting in the slowest chase scene any movie has ever had (I mean the dude is literally just briskly walking down the hall and he still gets away from them). Anyway, the dentist winds up in an auditorium where a woman is practicing her opera singing. The dentist is entranced by this (we know he loves opera from that scene with his wife earlier) and reaches out to the singer, but he hallucinates his wife’s hecked up face on her and drops to his knees, presumably to have the rest of his nervous breakdown. The cops… uh… well, they just kinda stand around looking disapprovingly at him while he sits on the floor. And that’s… that’s it, I guess?

“Nah, let him rest, he’s had a big day.” 

 In our final scene, we have some orderlies at his new mental institution drag him down for his regular appointment, where his wife (who I guess is a dentist now) starts drilling at his teeth. This may or may not be a hallucination. It probably doesn’t matter.

Wow. That certainly was a film.

Alright, so, I’ve been typing up my thoughts as I watch, and I think I’ve figured out what I like about this movie, that had me coming back to it over and over as a youngster. There are some movies that just look fun to film, and this is one of them. A number of the shots are really charming, for lack of a better word. There’s the anniversary scene with his wife I mentioned before, but so many others — this movie plays around with point of view, extreme close-ups, some very fun effects used to indicate the hallucinations… there’s even a sideways shot of one of the cops coming down the stairs. I seem to have a real fondness for that sort-of manic, anything-goes approach to filming. Related side note: is there a single steady shot on this whole film? I’m beginning to doubt it.

Corbin Bernsen does a great job. I mean, all the actors do, really, but he is something else. Like, I can’t think offhand of many actors who could successfully take the character “dentist in bad marriage has a nervous breakdown because his wife gives someone else a blow job and it grosses him out; goes on torturemurder spree” without overacting to the point of distraction. “What are you talking about, this dude’s hammier than Easter dinner,” you say. Now, I get the urge here, but I have to disagree; Bernsen plays a fantastic Emasculated White Guy Throwing A Fit.

That picture I posted up there, after the bit about the laundry argument? A dude who makes that face over the idea of wearing the wrong cuff links to work is at most twelve seconds away from completely losing his shit at any given moment. And the dude’s anniversary surprise for his wife was to show off his new, opera-themed dental exam room; none of this behavior seems too off the wall for that character. Granted, I haven’t seen the sequel yet, and the image searches do suggest that our dear dentist is about to use his well-cared-for teeth to chew the hell out of some scenery in The Dentist 2, but in this movie? I’m just saying it’s not an unbelievable portrayal.

Disgruntled white dudes aside, the rest of the cast seems to have a fun time too. Shout out to the receptionist literally sobbing over what a great dentist this guy is (stunning work). If nothing else, stop by for wee baby Mark Ruffalo before he was famous. It’s adorable.

LOOK AT HIM.

ALL THAT SAID, I have to state again how surprised I am by the sheer number of not-dental-related murders! Like, by my count, this guy commits a hefty amount of malpractice, but for a guy on a torturemurder spree, he sure does seem to keep his torture and his murder fairly separate. Let’s tally it:

I’m tired, let’s wrap this up. The Dentist is a fun movie about a dude who loses his shit, does some dental torture, does some murder, does ZERO dental torturemurders, and then just kinda tuckers himself out and sits down. It’s a big silly mess, and I love it.

Tortures: six

The kid at the beginning, the lady he sexually assaults (it counts), his wife (not dead), that lady whose dog he shot, Marvin the IRS guy (alive when last we see him), and the person at the dental school near the end.

Murders: three people, one dog.

The dog (shot), the pool guy (knifed), Jessica-the-hygienist (strangled), Karen-the-other-hygienist (air injected into artery), and that’s… it..? He does shoot that person at the dental school, but it doesn’t appear to be a fatal wound, and Marvin the IRS guy was alive when we saw him last.

Torturemurders: HECKIN’ ZERO.

Zero! None of the tortures are murdered, and nobody he murders is tortured! What the heck kind of slasher dentist doesn’t even kill people via dentistry? No wonder everyone looks down on him at the end.

Alright, first post written. I’m going to bed.

[cindylouwho-2]

Etsy’s New Message Response Time Calculations Are Inaccurate, And That Is Hurting Some Sellers

Etsy has recently made changes to the notices it displays under the "Message [Shop Owner]" button on listings - they are now showing more specific response times to some visitors ("within 2 hours"), and even the words "Speedy responder!" for some shops.  [UPDATE: as of the evening of January 28th, the shorter time frames & “speedy responder!” seem to have disappeared, but the other inaccuracies remain.]

Problem is, the displayed response time is completely wrong for some sellers. I have talked to a few shops that are experiencing this, and I am also one of them. My jewellery shop has displayed "within a few hours" (see screenshot above) since they introduced this notice a few years back, but within the past two weeks that version has vanished entirely, and when you click to message me, you see the notice that I usually reply "within a few days". 

That is completely incorrect; I respond rapidly throughout the day, and never take more than 12 hours overnight. Hilariously, my second shop shows that I respond with in 2 hours or a few hours, which is more accurate - but I never respond in that shop until after I finish with the jewellery messages.  So, a shop with a slightly slower response time can show a much faster response time. It makes no sense. 

I've complained to Etsy about how this is wildly inaccurate, and they basically said they aren't going to fix it before the next set of updates.. 

So for the moment, Etsy makes some shop owners look like they are lazy and slow to respond to customer questions and problems, and that is no doubt affecting shop sales.

How It Is Supposed To Work

Etsy Support assured me this notice:

counts how quickly a seller replies to the first message sent in a thread; you don’t have to keep replying quickly after the first message

doesn’t count messages marked spam

doesn’t count messages that do not need a reply

Now, if that were true, my notice should obviously say I respond within 12 hours at the very worst, so it is clear that what they told me isn’t what is actually happening to me and to other sellers. So what gives?

It’s likely that it is counting times when a buyer sends duplicate messages (I’ve had 3 or 4 at a time), duplicate requests to cancel a sale, or sends multiple short messages as separate threads. Logically those should fall under “messages that do not need a reply” but Etsy seems to have a different definition of that than the rest of us do. I remember a few times in the past two months when I have received duplicate requests to cancel an order, likely sent by a panicked buyer who thought the first request didn’t go through, or perhaps caused by an Etsy glitch. Most experienced sellers also noticed an increased rate of duplicate messages and short messages in separate threads when Etsy introduced the new message function in 2019. So, poor Etsy UX is likely part of the reason that some of us have inaccurate response times posted in our shops. Unless Etsy gives us more info, though, we can’t be certain. 

Why Should I Care?

It’s perfectly fine to not be worried about this for your own shop, but be aware that Etsy’s own stats show that when sellers respond quickly, they are more likely to close the sale. 

On January 26th, a banner appeared on my Messages page; it states:

"You could get more sales if you respond within 24 hours*

When it comes to providing great customer service, quick response time is key! *Based on data from Jan–Dec 2020, messages sellers responded to within 24 hours led to more sales than messages with a longer response time."

Obviously we can question that, especially since the evidence is that they are not counting the first response times correctly! But it does make sense. The longer a potential customer has to wait, the more likely it is that they will change their mind or find another place to buy.

Also, if a shopper is in a hurry, they are unlikely to send a message at all when they see that a shop (supposedly) usually does not reply for over 48 hours. This is especially true for Etsy’s core buyers who shop the site many times a year. They will get used to seeing quick response times posted on shops and will wonder why some are slow, and wonder if that is a reflection of all of the seller’s customer service skills. 

By placing this notice on shops, Etsy is definitely driving traffic away from shops with slower response times. 

But there is an even bigger concern for some shops: Etsy uses message response time as a customer service metric. 

“As a seller on Etsy, you’re expected to:

Prepare and ship orders within your chosen processing times and “ship by” dates

Set realistic expectations with accurate listing descriptions and images

Respond to shoppers’ Messages promptly with resolution-focused customer service

Treat shoppers and fellow sellers with respect and courtesy“ [emphasis added]

Etsy looks at these factors when reviewing a shop for closure. So if a shop has a string of bad luck with cases opened or bad feedback, Etsy will also look at their message response time as one of the factors - and that message response time could be wrong, since Etsy is somehow calculating it incorrectly. Shops could potentially be closed because Etsy thinks they don't reply to messages promptly, when they in fact reply pretty quickly.

Note that Etsy also uses their customer service expectations in the Seller Protection Policy. That’s right, a seller could be ineligible for seller protection if they aren’t meeting Etsy’s preferred message response times. (Note they don’t define “promptly”, so I have no clue whether 24 hours or 48 hours is too long for seller protection.)

There’s also the flip side to be worried about: what happens if your displayed response time is much faster than your real response time? Surprisingly, I am hearing from sellers who tell me that Etsy says their usual response time is just 1 hour, which they say is completely inaccurate, and they worry this will set unrealistic buyer expectations. 

Lastly, even when accurate, this notice disadvantages sellers who work fulltime  jobs where they cannot spend time on Etsy, as well as sellers who live in time zones where they will be asleep when the vast majority of Etsy buyers - Americans - are sending them messages. Shop owners without employees who spend long hours actually making their items are also at a disadvantage; replying to messages immediately throughout the day is a lot less efficient than handling them twice a day all at once. On a site with so many sole proprietors, and where you can’t have an employee handle shop messages without giving them access to all of your banking and credit card data, does it make sense to be pushing response times so hard? This is not what many would call “keeping commerce human.”

Needless to say, Etsy needs to fix the errors immediately. The potential harm to affected shops is serious. 

What Can We Do About This?

Unless we know why these response times are sometimes wrong, we can’t guarantee we won’t have a slow response time displayed. Etsy refuses to tell me which messages it took me “a few days” to reply to, so we’re wandering in the dark here. There is no one approach that is guaranteed to work. 

One seller on Reddit suggested using the auto-reply feature all of the time, so buyers always get a response immediately. Bizarrely, this seems like a good suggestion. The notice displayed on your shop does not change when you set the auto-reply, so the buyer has no warning they might not get a real response quickly, and you can compose the auto-reply to say anything you want. However, I suspect that Etsy would frown upon this solution, so it would likely hurt you if your shop goes under review for any other reason. Also, they may have some way of monitoring shops that always have auto-reply on, which could eventually garner your shop a warning. Then there is the fact that the auto-reply can only be set for 5 days maximum, so anyone trying this needs to make sure they reset it each time it runs out. 

Another seller in my Reddit thread said they may start marking every message that doesn’t need a reply as spam. That’s obviously going to annoy Etsy, and could potentially hurt a buyer if they get their messages muted from too many spam reports. We also can’t be sure the spam filter does remove all messages from this notice process, even though Etsy said it does, because we know there is an error somewhere. Definitely always mark actual spam as spam, though; there is no downside to that. 

If you have an incorrect response time displayed, you must contact Etsy to complain. Use this link to contact them, and ask why they are showing this when it is not true. Ask if they are counting duplicate messages from the same person as separate threads needing replies. Ask why they won’t turn this off until it works correctly. Don’t give up. 

It’s also necessary to get the word out on this one. Etsy falsely claiming a seller has slow customer service - something that is guaranteed to drive away some buyers - is coming darn close to outright defamation. 

If your response time notice is inaccurate, please contact me here or on my website; we need to strategize how we are going to force Etsy to fix this inaccuracy. 

This post will be updated as required. 

Last updated: January 28th at 4:40 pm MT. 

[wildlyminiaturesandwich]

The Sims 4 Moschino Stuff - Early Access Build/Buy Review

Huge thank you to the EA Game Changer Program for providing me with the opportunity to play Moschino Stuff early!

Ever since I saw the trailer for Moschino Stuff, I knew the Build/Buy content was going to be the part of this pack that I was the most excited for and interested in and for the most part I absolutely love a lot of it. But, like CAS, Build/Buy is not without it’s issues.

As always, if you have any questions about the pack, feel free to send me an ask!

See a preview of all the new Build/Buy items here

👗The Buy

I pretty much love all of the Buy Mode objects. The couches come in some very cool patterns as well as solids, the funky pop art mirror is fun, and I love that the end table is much lower than most end tables we have so it sits nice and flush at the same height as the couches and coffee table.

But my favourite things are probably, as always, the decorative stuff. More specifically the LiBEARian (the books with the bear book ends, get it!), the Simsational Style Stack (the magazine pile) and the Amp Stack (they’re all in the pics above). Even though the Amp Stack is purely decorative, it looks very cool sitting next to a guitar and adds a lot of character to any musician’s house!

I also really like the Repurposed Gear Chest (the trunk with stickers on it) that’s essentially a coffee table and looks very cool and retro, and the Tastefully Empty Bookcase which... is not empty at all? lol I do wish the bookcase came in different heights and widths as well, but at least this time it’s a short one, unlike the bookcases that came with Seasons and StrangerVille that I love but never get to use because they’re too tall for short walls.

Something that’s bothered me pretty much since base game released is that there’s no consistent colour palette for all build/buy objects. I get that each pack has specific themes and there might be colours that fit that theme better than others but I would love to see a consistent palette used throughout every pack — say like black and white obviously, 5 different wood tones, 5 solid neutrals and 5 solid “standard” colours (blue, red, yellow etc) — and have every single item that gets added to the game made in those colours, then if a new pack has specific colours for it’s theme they can be added on top of the standard palette. I like the colour palette that was chosen for the items in this pack but I found it really hard to find anything from other packs that matched it. It bothers me so much that nothing ever matches from pack to pack, half the time objects in the same pack don’t even match! And even now that the 350 new swatches were added to base game doors... they still don’t match anything else!

Sorry, I know I’m ranting and this has very little to do with Moschino Stuff but it just really bothers me that nothing ever matches because whenever I build I spend hours trying to find a floor to match the trim around the bottom of the wall I’ve chosen, then none of the doors match the floor and trim so I have to change it all, then none of the windows match the doors, floor and trim, and on and on until I’ve completely forgotten what I originally wanted the build to look like!

I really like the new frames we got for photos too, and the fact that they can now be placed on tables BUT I’ve had a couple of issues with them. First of all, it’s not possible to turn the frames placed on tables using the alt key, so you can only turn them in 45 degree increments and I hate that. I like to have all my photo frames slightly askew at different angles and it bothers me that these ones can only be places either facing straight forwards or angled by 45 degrees.

The second issue I have with the frames is actually more of a technical one but I’m not entirely sure if it’s the frames themselves, the photos, or the photography skill; I haven’t been able to work that out yet. When I have a sim take photos using the new tripod and camera everything is fine, but the second I exit out of the photography UI my FPS drops drastically.

I thought it was just my computer being stupid at first, until other Game Changers started reporting the same issue. I suspect it might be the photos and frames — specifically the new collage frame — because as soon as I remove the frames from the lot, the FPS goes back to normal. My game normally runs at a steady 60 FPS at all times but as you can see here, it drops down to 8-12 whenever there are framed photos on the lot and shoots back up when I delete them.

NOTE: This was with my game 100% CC and Mod free.

All of the new photography gear is so cool too! The fact that most of the items (like the tripod, camera, and tape markers) can be picked up in your sims inventory is so handy; your sim can just grab their equipment and head out into the world to take photos of other sims, landscapes, pets, and themselves literally anywhere they can plop the tripod down! And the backdrops have some really cool backgrounds for you to take photos in front of... or maybe... some other... uses 😈

👗The Build

I think the thing most people were looking forward to in this pack were the beautiful windows and doors; I’m definitely one of those people lol They are definitely gorgeous but as seems to happen every single time we get new windows and doors, the selection is limit in many different ways.

Every single colourway for both the windows and the doors is either white, black, red, or some combination of those colours. There are no colourways that match any of the other colours used on the furniture for the set (like blue, pink and yellow) and absolutely zero wood or neutral tones.

There are also no other heights for both the door and window other than for the shortest wall height, which absolutely baffles me because they’re clearly a set made to be used in lofts and converted warehouse type builds... builds that are generally made with either the medium or tallest wall height. They also didn’t bother to make single tile versions of any of the windows and doors, or even a closed version for the smaller window!

But what’s even more baffling (at least to me) is the way the door was made. I literally spent a full 30 minutes just sitting here in front of my computer, staring at this door, trying to figure out what could possibly have been going through the head of whoever made it when they decided that not only would it be shorter on one side, therefore also shorter than the windows, but also that it wouldn’t take up the full two tiles it was allocated and therefore wouldn’t sit flush up against the windows it was made to go with!

I saw a tweet by one of the Gurus that basically said “It’s the right height on the outside, just flip it around” but... that still leaves you with one side shorter than the windows, it’s just now on the other side, and there’s still gaps at the side! Why you would go to all the trouble to make the windows fit beautifully together like that and then not make the door exactly the same height and width! It bothers me way more than it probably should but I just don’t understand!

On the plus side, there are some base game doors that fit in with the windows (kind of) that I will probably use instead of the Moschino door... at least until someone makes a build add-on for them anyway lol

👗The Verdict

Overall, while I have issues with some of the build/buy stuff, this is where this pack makes up for the lack of CAS stuff in my opinion and what would make me want to fork over the $10 for the pack. To be completely honest, I’d pay $10 just for the LiBEARian though 🤣

All thoughts and opinions expressed in this review are my own. I am not paid by EA to “hype” their games; I am given the opportunity to review their games early in exchange for an honest review.

Click here for my Create-A-Sim Review

Gameplay Review coming soon

[greyias]

FIC: Smoke and Mirrors - Chapter 14

Title: Smoke and Mirrors Fandom: SWTOR Pairing: Theron Shan/f!Jedi Knight Rating: T Genre: Pre-Relationship, Slow Burn Synopsis: Something’s rotten on Carrick Station, and Theron won’t rest until he finds out what. But picking at the frayed threads of suspicion quickly unravels a conspiracy much larger than even the Republic’s top spy can handle on his own. (A mostly canon-compliant retelling of the Forged Alliances storyline, as seen through the eyes of Theron Shan.) Author’s Notes and Spoilers: See Chapter 1.

Chapter Index: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | Crossposted to AO3

The report didn’t get finished that night, but his automated trace on Darok did. It would help monitor most public and low-security information. Any high-clearance snooping was a manual process systems had been put in place to prevent automated data mining. Several of which were of his own design after he’d found the flaws several years back.

Of course, having such an intimate knowledge of the SIS systems helped him keep off the radar, as long as he kept a clear head about him. It also helped that his official assignment was to assist with the investigation on finding out how the Imps had managed to get to Tython. Which he was, just… splitting his attention some.

Officially, none of it led to Darok, which was frustrating, but not to be unexpected. Thus far, Theron had been able to identify two leaks associated with the attack on Tython, but had several more flagged for follow-up. The first was the Sith capture of a Jedi Archivist that worked in the Tython library, and the other was an ignored report from a cargo pilot that frequented the temple regarding the theft of a manifest that included information on her route and the hyperlanes.

These leaks mirrored his own datamining into the Korriban op too closely for his own comfort. If he were a suspicious man, which he was, he would suspect that the information he had found had been planted. By someone leaving just enough bread crumbs for a clever enough intelligence operative to put the pieces together. If that was the case, someone had used the SIS, and more specifically him, in whatever this was.

His implants pinged him with an alert from his automated trace, cutting through his sour mood. Seeing that it was a passenger manifest of a flight departing Tython, he pulled away form the terminal he’d been manning most of the day and surreptitiously pulled out his datapad to review the passenger list. It appeared that Darok was leaving the Temple, and his current destination looked like it was Carrick Station.

Theron was about to do some minor slicing into the colonel’s schedule to see exactly what he had planned, when he got an inbox notification.

To: Theron Shan From: Greyias Highwind Subject: HI!

Heya Spyboy—we haven’t met officially, but the boss asked me to write to you from this address. (I’m Kira, I’m sure you’ve read about me. I hear you have a file on all of us! What does mine say?) She got pulled away with a meeting with the Pilgrim Matriarch. Or a hugfest, not really sure what’s going on over there. Anyway, she wanted me to let you know right away that some ‘mutual friend’ of you two had to leave the planet on a meeting?

Good riddance I say. He was cramping our style. Scourge almost started a lightsaber fight with one of his men when they kept blocking the door to the Archives. But this is Scourge, so it could just be Taungsday.

Okay, I’m getting a look now, so maybe this letter was supposed to be shorter. I promise I’ve only looked at like all of your messages to her. What’s this about a mythological bracelet? Are you two going treasure hunting? Can I come? I promise to bring snacks.

Theron couldn’t suppress a groan, massaging his forehead as he read the contents of the message. He had only just gotten to the end of it, when another notification pinged.

To: Theron Shan From: Greyias Highwind Subject: Apologies

Apparently my former Padawan can’t be trusted with the simple task of writing a sentence and pressing the send button. I got pulled away in the middle of my message and asked her to finish it since I thought it was important to keep you updated on… our “friend’s” whereabouts. Clearly my inbox was too great a temptation for her to pass up.

To: Greyias Highwind From: Theron Shan Subject: Really?

I’m making the bold assumption this message is being read by its intended recipient now, and that you’ve changed all of your security protocols and passcodes? And that in the future you won’t be handing off future dictation requests to your nosy secretary?

I’m aware of our our friend’s movements, and if there’s anything noteworthy I will let you know. I trust you’ll also inform me if I need to be aware of any incidents between your crew and SpecOps? Things that, say, might hamper my efforts on this end?

You should probably also let Kira know that we’re not going on a treasure hunt. I think she was far too excited about that.

He stared at the screen for a few moments, debating whether he should ask about Dentiri. Seeing as she hadn’t brought it up, he decided against it, and just pressed send before he thought on it too long. Besides, he didn’t intend to start a letter writing campaign here. His time was better spent on the investigation—both the official one he was conducting and the private one.

Of course, if he didn’t want a reply, he shouldn’t have asked any questions.

To: Theron Shan From: Greyias Highwind Subject: Yes Really

There was nothing noteworthy to report on this end regarding my crew’s interactions with SpecOps. We’re simply trying to do what we can right now, and most of the Republic forces arriving are of great help. We will likely be called away soon, but I’m hoping that some members of the Council will arrive before then. No offense to the military, but I would feel more comfortable leaving with one of the Order’s leaders in charge. I hope we do not have to miss the memorial service, but a Jedi must go where they are needed most.

Until then, I will await your reply of these “noteworthy” revelations. 

I have also informed Kira that there will be no hunt for the Lost Bracelet of Darth Lahvvish. I have never heard of this Sith nor know why she was so careless with her jewelry, but I don’t want to ask. Kira seems crushed enough as it is.

However, maybe you should look into the mystery, since you’ve got access to all of those special databases to know where everyone is at all times. Maybe they can give you the clue to the location of the missing Bracelet of Fellowship, last seen in the Sea of Hypothesis? Just a thought.

“Hey, Shan, you okay there? You look like you’re having a stroke.”

“What?” Theron was torn away from the datapad to see Jonas Balkar’s stupid smirking face leaning into his cubicle.

“Well, that or you might be starting to form a smile, and I know that’s not physically possible.”

“Shut it, Balkar.” He quickly stowed the datapad away before it attracted the other agent’s attention. “What are you doing here? Thought you were living it up on Nar Shaddaa.”

“Trant pulled me back, said he needed more eyes on this Tython thing and wanted the best.”

“I think you got the memo meant for me. You can run back along to playing nice with the Hutts.”

“Pass.” Jonas sauntered over, throwing an arm around Theron’s shoulders. “Now, since it’s quitting time and your old buddy’s back in town—“

“We’re not buddies.”

“—I say it’s high time we go get a drink.”

“I’m not—“

Jonas apparently wasn’t listening and already in the mood for a good hangover. Using his grip on the other man’s shoulders, he propelled his fellow agent towards the door. Sure, Theron could have popped the other man’s arm out of its socket and reclaimed his personal space and evening plans of spying on Darok… but he really didn’t want to have that conversation with Marcus again.

“Fine,” Theron muttered darkly, “one drink. But if this winds up being another one of your stupid schemes, I’m going to rearrange that pretty face so all the girls run away at their first look at you.”

“No need to get possessive, Shan. You’ll always be my number one.”

“Bite me, Balkar.”

[bad-at-names-and-faces]

Fair Winds

Chapter 13

[painting by Betzy Akersloot-Berg]

The announcements were sent out first thing in the morning: "Her Majesty, Queen Anna of Arendelle was safely delivered of a princess. Her Majesty and the infant princess are both doing well."  

Lars sat at the desk in his room, looking at his stack of correspondence, including his copy of the official announcement. He was thankful that he still had a week or so before he would need to be on duty, though he suspected Mr. Meyer would want to meet with him soon to review anything important. His brother’s ship was to arrive in the next day or two.  

He had received a letter from Elizabeth excitedly telling him of her earlier arrival, and she mentioned that her father had been most mysterious about their itinerary. 

There was also a letter from his mother.  He saw the date, and it looked likely that his mother had received his last letter. He read further.

Dearest Lars,

I'm so happy to hear that you are being well treated there.  The current queen was always quite friendly, though I understand that you haven’t personally met her.  The children sound delightful. I never realized that you didn't believe my stories, though I never saw the trolls myself. I do remember the snowman. He was quite kind and friendly, once you got used to him... 

Lars supposed there might not be much more that she would know about the snowman, as she called him.  The rest of her letter was talking about the upcoming coronations of the young prince and princess in Corona, all of which was information he knew through official sources. 

Of course, now he had so many more questions for his mother. Perhaps the former queen was being polite, and simply had a good memory for names.  Could she have actually known his mother? He couldn’t figure out how that could be. His mother had never worked in the castle, as far as he knew.  She had told him that very few people could even enter the castle in her younger days, let alone work there. 

He stared blankly out the window.  Outside he could see some of the fjord and the path he had taken rides on the previous week, and realized that an advantage of the ambassador’s room with the view of the town was that he could see the ships coming into the harbor. As lovely as the fjord and the mountains were, Lars now wished he could keep watch for the Corona naval ship from the privacy of his own room. 

It was nearly lunchtime. Lars decided to walk into town. Perhaps Halima would be able to tell him more, but at least he would have a better view of the harbor.  The castle was mostly quiet, though he thought he could hear the new baby from the direction of the royal family’s rooms. He would do his best to leave them alone today. 

The townspeople were happily bustling.  It seemed that all the gossip focused on the new baby. Names were discussed, but there seemed to be no consensus.  Most of the family names had been used up on the older children, he heard one shopkeeper say. A young man suggested forming a betting pool, which several men and women in the vicinity agreed to.  Lars decided to move along quickly.  

He decided to walk along the harbor before sitting down for lunch, admitting to himself he enjoyed picking up bits and pieces of the day’s gossip.  He hadn’t bothered looking closely at any of the ships. Suddenly, he felt a shove from behind. He turned around to see a young man in a Corona naval uniform laughing at him.

“Karl!” Lars exclaimed. “I hardly recognized you!  What are you doing here so soon?”

“We had favorable winds,” his brother informed him, giving a forceful hug.  “We could hardly believe it ourselves, but here we are!”

“And everyone is well?” Lars asked, his hands on his brother’s shoulders, looking up at him. He had always hoped he would have caught up in height by now, but at the age of twenty, he was resigned to forever being a few inches shorter.

“Yes,” his brother teased, “and I know you’ve been getting letters from Mother just as often as I have, and I don’t think you really care about the Captain except for a basic assurance that he’s in good health.”

Lars took a step back and looked around eagerly, afraid that he might have walked right past his own fiancee.

“No, no,” Karl laughed, firmly grabbing his younger brother’s arm, “she’s taking her time getting ready.  But I think that’s a good thing, don’t you?”

Lars gave an embarrassed smile.

“As for yourself,” his brother scoffed, “what happened to your face?’

“What? Nothing!” Lars put his hand to his face and remembered that his brother hadn’t seen him since he’d decided to grow the mustache.  “Oh, this. Do you think she’ll hate it?” 

“Well…” Karl hesitated. “We’ll leave that up to her.”

Lars spotted her first. It was hard to miss the billowing skirts so out of place on a naval vessel. He tried to look calm as he walked as quickly as he could over to the gangway.  Captain von der Decken assisted his eldest daughter down to the harbor walk. The captain was somewhat taller than Lars’s brother, the lieutenant, but Elizabeth herself barely came up to her father’s shoulder. Lars stood nervously, thinking how her hair in the late morning sun had a slightly different shade of brown from the lock she had given him before him before he left.  He tried not to smile too much at her or look too frightened of her father. 

“Captain,” he stammered as Elizabeth stood in front of him, nearly giggling.

“Mr. Nilsen,” the Captain greeted him, “a very fine morning, isn’t it?”

“Yes, sir,” Lars replied, attempting to sound calm.

“I’m glad to see my Lieutenant found you so quickly,” the Captain smiled, “or I think my daughter would have been rather disappointed.”

Lars and Elizabeth looked at each other, both feeling as if they needed her father’s permission to begin a conversation. 

“Captain,” Lieutenant Nilsen spoke up, winking at his brother, “I believe we have some business to take care of back on board the ship?”

“Yes, thank you lieutenant,” the Captain replied, giving a sly look to Lars that made him feel somewhat exposed. “Elizabeth, I trust you will be fine on your own?”

“Yes, Father,” she grinned, “thank you.”

Lars quietly grabbed Elizabeth’s hands as he watched his brother and the Captain walk back onto the ship. 

“Good morning,” he smiled awkwardly, wishing he could think of something more interesting to say to her.

“So,” she said, looking up at the town, “tell me where we should go.”

“Have you eaten?” he asked awkwardly. “I was on my way to find some lunch.”

“That does sound lovely,” she smiled, taking his arm tightly in both hands as they walked up to the market square, getting as close to him as her skirt would gracefully allow. 

They walked quietly through the square as people went around their business.  The conversations hadn’t changed since he had walked through earlier, still discussing the newest princess.  The wagers over the name had gotten more organized, though, and he noticed someone had brought out an old plank and some chalk and listed possibilities with betting odds next to each name.  A man went over and wrote down “Hanna,” which someone had just suggested. Lars laughed. 

“They won’t use that one,” he whispered to Elizabeth as they continued walking.

“What makes you so sure?” she asked, looking up at him.

“The oldest princess is already named Anna,” he told her.

Elizabeth gave him a confused look. “I thought in your letters you said her name was Inga? Or is she not the oldest one?”

“Well, that’s what everyone in the family calls her,” he replied, “but that’s actually one of ther middle names. I guess they don’t want her being confused with the Queen.”

Elizabeth looked up at him with a teasing smirk.  “When you said you were being treated well by the royal family, I assumed you just meant they gave you a nice room and good food, not that you were on familiar terms with them.”

“Well, they’re... very friendly,” he stammered. “And they really are on rather familiar terms with the whole kingdom.”  Though he had to admit to himself that he hadn’t seen any of them on quite as familiar terms as they had been with him with anyone besides the General. But it wasn’t a lie. They weren’t distant or cut off from the town at all.  Not anymore, at least. 

They walked on for a bit, her hands still holding his arm. Elizabeth stopped in front of a statue.

"Who are they?" she gestured up at the statue, trying to read the plaque at the bottom. She had learned to understand some of the language from her time spent listening to Lars and his mother when she visited their home back when in Corona, but reading it was another matter. 

"Those are the Queen's parents, as children," he explained. 

"Oh? The girl in pants?" Elizabeth asked.

"That's typical for the Northuldra, I've heard.  That’s where the Queen’s mother came from. They live to the north of Arendelle," he clarified. It was easy for him to forget how many of the details of geography and politics that he had learned in the diplomatic school that Elizabeth would not have been taught at her finishing school. He was thankful that her parents had at least sent her to a school that expected some academic accomplishments and not simply how to dress fashionably, and since her mother had grown up working in the back of her own father's shop, Lars was fairly certain that when it came to bookkeeping and accounting, Elizabeth had learned more than he ever would. 

He didn't plan on ever being poor, but he didn't want to depend too much on the good graces of the aristocracy.  His own mother had been lucky. She didn't like to speak about how close they had come to abject poverty, but he had pieced that much together from her stories over the years.

They stood at the base of the statue, looking at the people walking around. She slid her hand into his and intertwined their fingers. 

"It's strange," she mused. "This is a smaller town with fewer people, and yet, I feel like we have so much less privacy than back home."

Lars was surprised by her statement.  "Really?" 

"I don't know," she replied, looking away. "Maybe it's just standing in the middle of everyone here. You were going to take me somewhere to get lunch?"

"Ah, yes, right this way!" He led her across the Square. 

"Lars!" Halima greeted him at the door, "did you manage to find anything more about your family?"

"Um, I may have," he mumbled. He noticed Halima was looking at Elizabeth curiously.  "This is Elizabeth. She just arrived on her father's ship from Corona."

"Pleased to meet you," Halima said, shaking Elizabeth's hand.

"Likewise," Elizabeth smiled, moving her left hand to Lars's elbow in a way that showed off her ring. The gesture was not lost on Halima.

"That's a beautiful ring," she said, looking at Elizabeth's hand, then glancing up at Lars.

"Lars gave it to me," Elizabeth smiled shyly.

"We got engaged just before I left Corona," he added. Elizabeth visibly relaxed. 

"Oh, you're the one Frederick mentioned," Halima laughed, "or at least, that's what Meibel told me when that boy was here a day or two ago." Halima paused and looked around. "Where is she? I didn't think they had school today. Destin?"

Lars hadn't noticed that the General was sitting in the corner. "She came with me to visit the castle this morning, and I gave her permission to stay there so long as she doesn't cause trouble for anyone."

"Ah," Halima sighed, "I really don't think the baby should be having so many visitors this soon."

"I wouldn't worry, and Meibel only looked in briefly. You know they don't mind her visiting."

Elizabeth and Lars stood awkwardly listening to Halima and the General’s conversation. Lars glanced around and noticed a small table in an empty corner.

"Is anyone using that table?" He asked, gesturing at the table.

"Not that I'm aware of," Halima told him, smiling, "and you might like some privacy to catch up." 

[imagines-dreams]

First Meeting(s) - Tom Holland Imagine

Rating: G

Warnings: meet-cute, budding feelings

Summary: Stacy, an intern at Stark Industries, is told to give Peter Parker some pictures from his Germany “trip.” / You are auditioning for the role of Stacy in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. During your last callback, you have to do a chemistry read with Tom Holland.

Word Count: 1774

Notes: So this might be a series??? Idk, I had an idea, I ran with it. Sorry if it’s a mess, also I wrote this for a poc!reader, but I’m not sure if I mentioned anything specific

~ - ~

You smiled. “Hi, I’m looking for Peter Parker. I was told he’d be here for Academic Decathlon practice.”

The young man nodded. “Yes, he’s right over there.”

“He might quit though!” One of the girls shouted. “You never know.”

“He did quit band,” another one added. When everyone looked at her with knowing eyes, she only raised an eyebrow. “I’m observant.”

You tilted your head. “What can you observe about me then?”

She tilted her head and looked you up and down. “Type A, private school, intern.”

“You can call me Stacy.”

“Michelle.”

“Anyway, Peter?”

“That’s, uh, me. I’m Peter.” He looked shorter in pictures. His layers of clothing hid the superhero muscle you knew was underneath. His backpack was on the floor, and if anyone stared closely enough, it wasn’t a standard backpack. It wasn’t the patches or the pins that made it special. No, it was the plastered web fluid on the corner, perhaps from a misfire or leftover from when he webs it to walls. 

You cleared your throat and as you walked to Peter you purposely brushed your foot against the misplaced webs to smear it, turning it effectively into a smudge or stain. 

You handed Peter the folder. “Ms. Potts told me to give this to you.”

“Ms. Potts?” Peter took the folder and smiled at it. “What is it? Why-”

“Pictures,” you said. “From the last intern conference.”

He blinked a few times, and for a split second, you could see Peter’s face contort in confusion. There was no such thing as a Stark intern conference. With one look at you and your tale-telling expression, he nodded. “Yeah, yeah the, uh, conference, that I was at. With you, of course. Cause you’re also an intern.”

“Yes, in the research department,” you helped.

“Yeah!” He laughed. “And I met you at the conference...”

You laughed. “Stacy.”

“Right, Stacy. I remember that.”

You laughed. “You know, for a Stark mentee, you have pretty bad memory.”

“I’m just trying my best.” Peter shrugged.

“Hey, it’s all good. We all are.” You leaned in close to whisper. “You might wanna not leave webs on your backpack, though.”

Peter’s eyes widened. He leaned down and whispered back, “You, uh, saw webs on my backpack? That’s, I mean, that’s insane.”

“Mhm.” You tilted your head. “Mr. Stark told me about what you do for your internship.” Peter Parker held his breath, but you just smiled. “Helping out at the Avengers Compound must be exciting.”

“You know, you don’t have to help Parker,” another boy said, a smug smirk on his face. “We know his Stark internship is boring as hell. Not to mention, he’d probably never meet any of the Avengers.”

“Hm.” You hummed and held out your hand. Peter put the envelope in your hands. “Do you mind, Peter?”

“Not really. What are you-”

You opened the envelope and grabbed the first picture. A printed picture of Peter with Black Widow. She was staring at the camera, clearly amused by Peter’s attempt to get a selfie with her. As you suspected, Peter wasn’t in the suit. It was after whatever happened in Berlin. So, his eye was forming a bruise, if you looked very closely, but he had this infectious smile, so it was easy to overlook. 

Almost. You couldn’t believe that the kid you just met, that stuttering, clumsy kid, was Spider-Man. How could a fifteen-year-old do all this? Sure, you had a similar-ish schedule. But your internship was in the research department. You reviewed simple calculations and offered an idea or two. Sometimes, you got to see Ms. Potts walk through the hallways. She said hi to you once.

You squealed when she left.

Those were your exciting moments. 

Peter’s exciting moments was fighting other superheroes and chasing bad guys and swinging through New York.

You glanced at Peter. That kid with a nervous smile was really something.

“Black Widow?!” screeched the kid with that smug look on his face. Well, he had a smug look on his face. It dropped when he saw that Peter really had met the Avengers. He reached out for the envelope, but you pulled them away and handed them back to Peter. “Sorry, here you go.”

He laughed. “That was amazing.”

“It was nothing.” You glanced at that annoying kid, and you couldn’t help but giggle that escaped your lips. “Plus, that was really satisfying, not gonna lie.”

“Still,” Peter insisted, “I could never do that.”

You scoffed. “Please! I know you do braver things.” 

He laughed and looked around, as if trying to hide the fact that his cheeks were turning a slight pink. “I, uh, I mean… not with that.” He shrugged. “I don’t know.” 

You nudged him. “Hey, don’t worry about it. But, if you ever wanna talk, they call me Stacy. And I intern in the labs at Stark Tower. My boss is really nice and lets me take breaks when I need it, or if a friend visits.”

Peter nodded. “I might swing by.”

Your jaw dropped. “Did you just-” You hit him again. “I hate you. I rescind my offer.” You picked up your things. 

Peter laughed. “Hey, what? That was uncalled for! Stace!”

You laughed. “See ya, Peter.” You saluted him with two fingers and left for your internship. Couldn’t leave precious biotech sims and cell cultures by themselves after all.

~ - ~

Tom was stunned for a moment. You were good. You held this confident air around you when you played Gwen. Sure, other girls have too, but you did it with such grace. At that moment, he could see the entire franchise’s span with him and you on the posters. Sure, you didn’t look like the Gwen Stacy from the comics, but you were her in every sense. Sharp, clever, graceful, kind. 

Your eyes met his. When Tom didn’t say anything, you looked through the script. “Sorry, is it my line?”

“No!” He cleared his throat. “Uh, you did a great job.”

You sighed. “Oh, good.” You laughed. “Thank you. You did a great job, too.”

“Alright, thank you, (Y/n). If you got the part, you should get a call from us within the next two weeks.”

You nodded. “Thank you so much for the opportunity.” You shook hands with Sarah Finn and Jon Watts. Then, you smiled at Tom and held out you hand. “And it was nice meeting you, Tom.”

“Yeah, yeah, you too.” He shook your hand. “Hopefully, we can see each other soon.”

“Definitely.”

Just as you approached your car, the man you played opposite of ran outside of the building and called your name. 

You rubbed your tired eyes and smiled. “Yes?”

“Sorry, uh,” Tom stuttered as he tried to catch his breath. You assumed it was from running, but in truth, the actor was just trying to compose himself long enough to talk to you without sounding like an incoherent mess. So, Tom shook his head and stood up straight. “Sorry, I just forgot to ask for your number.”

You blinked a few times. “Right. Of course, you need my number.” He did not need your number, but you were too tired, and perhaps you were supposed to swap numbers. It must’ve slipped your mind. He handed his phone to you, and you typed in your number. 

“Uh, thanks. So sorry about that,” Tom apologized again.

You shrugged. “No problem. It’s nice meeting you.” You laughed. “Again.”

“Yes. Lovely meeting you.” He smiled. “Well, I can’t keep you. Have a nice day.”

“You, too.”

It wasn’t until a few weeks later, much after the two-week deadline, did you realize that Tom was too fit to be out of breath from a very short run. So, that meant there was another reason why the actor wasn’t his calm self. He did gaze at you after the scene had finished. Was it possible…

No. It wasn’t. And even if it was, it didn’t matter. You weren’t going to see him again.

And even if you and he crossed paths again for another project or for an awards show, you were both actors. Cameras and gossip magazines took your privacy away. It’d be too complicated. So, no use in thinking about it.

Your phone rang. The area code was familiar. Maybe it was another open audition. You answered, “Hello, (Y/n) (Y/l/n) speaking,” and grabbed your planner just in case.

“Hi, it’s Tom.”

“Oh, hi!” You smiled widely at the sound of his voice. When you realized it, you pursed your lips. “Uh, what is it?”

“I just wanted to congratulate you!”

Congratulate you? On what? 

The pen fell from your hands. He couldn’t mean. You hadn’t received a call from the casting director. Or your agent yet. “Congratulate me?” you gasped.

“Oh, uh, check your messages.”

“My what?”

“Check your texts. I sent you something.”

You opened his text to find a link. You clicked on it. It read, “The New Cast of Spider-Man: Homecoming - What We Know”. First, a paragraph on Tom Holland and his reprise of his role as Spider-Man. Then, Zendaya who was casted but no details on the person she plays. Jacob Batalon playing Ned, RDJ playing Tony Stark, Marisa Toomes as Aunt May, Jon Favreau as Happy Hogan, and then your name. 

“New and upcoming actress, (Y/n) (Y/l/n) has been cast, but little is known about the character she will play. While Laura Harrier has been confirmed to be Liz Allen, the popular teenager Peter can’t stop thinking about, there is no indication of whether or not (Y/l/n) will be a major character in the film.”

“I got the part,” you whispered. You were cast. That meant that you were given the role you auditioned for. Oh god, you were going to be Stacy!

“I got the part!” you screamed.

“Yeah, you did!” Tom shouted. “Congratulations! You deserve it!”

“Oh my god!” You laughed and shouted, “I’m Gwen Stacy!”

Tom laughed. “Sh!” he teased. “Spoilers!”

You pressed your hand against your chest as if that could calm your racing heart. “Oh, god, I can’t believe this.”

“Really? Your audition was perfect.” He sighed. “I can’t wait to start working with you.”

Working with Tom Holland, the new Spider-Man. It was a dream come true. It didn’t matter how he looked at you when your scene was done or how handsome he was, you were going to part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, with an amazing leading man and cast. No matter what happened, this was going to change your life. 

With a dreamy smile, you admitted, “I can’t wait either.”

~ - ~

Am I posting this super late? Yes. Do I have any idea what to do from here? Kinda??? I mean, I don’t even know if this is a good idea, or something from my tea-infused, late-night brain, so very sorry if this sucks. I may or may not continue it. If you want me to write more (I have no clue why you would), please give me ideas??? maybe???

Anyway, thanks for reader, and have a wonderful day, readers!

[soveryanon]

Reviewing time for MAG157! ;___;

- … I’d been making fun of the fact that The Corruption was the unloved Fear of season 4, since we hadn’t had any statement since MAG103… and consecutively, we got a small talk about Jane Prentiss at the end of MAG152, a Corruption statement in MAG153, and now… another one, which dealt with an identified avatar, and was, I felt, the most gruesome Corruption one we ever had. Somethingsomething about how season 4 is the “be careful what you wish for” season, uh. (Well. You never wish for a Corruption statement, you mostly note that there hasn’t been one for a while.)

Jon was suspecting that Jane Prentiss’s attack on the Institute had been a ritual attempt:

(MAG152) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] … It’s all that left of her now. Apart from a… jar of ashes in my desk. Just a circle of rotten stone on an otherwise… unremarkable wall. HELEN: More of a legacy than some people get. ARCHIVIST: … It was meant to be a gate, I think. A hole that she… rotted into The Corruption itself. Maybe the start of a ritual. HELEN: Hm. Not exactly impressive, is it? ARCHIVIST: Less complex, certainly. But I think that’s the thing about– … what did Elias call it… “Filth”. I don’t think it really plans much. It just starts to grow wherever it can get a foothold and… if no one stomps it out in time: Game Over. […] I’ve been wondering what they were doing down here.

And it’s a bit terrifying to think that technically, Jane Prentiss was quite… low scale, in the harm she did during the attack on the Institute, compared to what we saw in “Love Bombing” (a whole cult minus one getting eradicated) and Amherst’s actions (contaminating the entirety of Ivy Meadows, and it probably could have spread through Nicole Baxter if she hadn’t lost/cut her hand, and eradicating the entire population of Klanxbüll):

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “I knew at that moment that there was nothing that could be done to save the town. […] I found the source of this sickness in the Parkplatz opposite the train station. The cars had been pushed to the side, clearly at great cost to the bodies of those that pushed them. And in the centre was a figure from whom the rot clearly flowed. He was sat upon a most dreadful throne, formed from a dozen, two dozen bodies mixed together like putty, eyes staring out like horror-stricken stars twinkling in the night – and their hearts beating for all to see. A moaning came from that awful seat, voices trying to scream through things that weren’t their throat – and it is a sound I shall be glad to leave behind me when I go to my rest.”

What kind of music was Amherst hearing in his dreams, to go for mass-damage like this every few years? Ivy Meadows happened during summer 2011 or 2012 (dates were a bit inconsistent in MAG036 itself, Elias said in June 2017 that it had been “five years” since the death of Melanie’s father), Amherst’s actions in Klanxbüll happened in 2013, that’s… such a short span to cause so much damage… ;; Really hoping that this concrete lasts forever ;;

- Chronology time, regarding Adelard’s actions since we began hearing about him in season 2:

* 06/02/1991 or 06/07/1991: Adelard had left a statement about the “NotThem”, calling it as such. Although it was referenced in MAG077, Jon explained in MAG078 that he had found another statement in the file:

(MAG077) GERTRUDE: Based on the interactions and effects, I suspect this to be the creature that Adelard Dekker refers to as the “NotThem” in statement 9910607. […] Based on Dekker’s statement, it would seem Polaroids are also relatively stable.

(MAG078) ARCHIVIST: I found this in the folder marked 9910602, where Gertrude’s tape had indicated I would find the statement of Dekker himself. There is nothing else in there, but I think it tells me what I need to know. This thing, this… “Not Sasha”… it’s tied to the table.

(… With an inconsistency regarding the month. Either Gertrude messed up (unlikely.), either Jonny messed up, either Jon messed up in his panic and fortunately still found a Not!Them-related statement despite going for the wrong file with the wrong month.)

* Sometime between 1991 and 1996 (since Eric knew Elias but didn’t know he had become Head before his own quitting&getting murdered): Adelard was identifiable as Gertrude’s collaborator and, amongst other things, threw a “screaming box” in the Thames:

(MAG154) ERIC: She never played dumb when I was stalked by bloated, blood-sucking things, or told me I was “imagining it” when I saw your friend Adelard drop a screaming box into the Thames.

* 04/11/1996: Gertrude recorded Lucy Cooper’s statement (given in September 1994) about the Not!Them taking her mother’s place. In her Final Comments, she mentioned a statement previously left by Adelard:

(MAG077) GERTRUDE: Based on the interactions and effects, I suspect this to be the creature that Adelard Dekker refers to as the “NotThem” in statement 9910607. If the pattern of behaviour is consistent with what he establishes, then further follow-up on this case is pointless: the thing has finished with the Cooper family and will not be revisiting them. It rarely seems to stay in the same place or with the same people for long, though it’s hard to guess at its motives. Personally, I suspect it to be an aspect of The Stranger, though that’s entirely conjecture at this point. […] It is at least reassuring to know that magnetic tape seems to escape being overwritten, so if I get changed, you can be sure this is my real voice. Based on Dekker’s statement, it would seem Polaroids are also relatively stable.

* Shortly before 12/06/2001: Lawrence Moore’s statement described Adelard Dekker, binding the Not!Them to the Web table which had previously been in Raymond Fielding’s ownership at Hill Top Road until the 70s. We don’t know how Adelard acquired the table, nor what happened to explain that he left without it and that Breekon&Hope were the ones to retrieve it afterwards:

(MAG078, Lawrence Moore) “He was black, dressed in a crisp white shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and a thin necktie. For a moment I had the idea he might be a Jehovah’s Witness, but one look at his face dispelled that idea immediately. It was hard and stern, set in look of determination, and his short hair was iron grey. He was very thin, with aging skin stretched tight over wiry, corded muscle, and though he was slightly shorter than I was, it seemed like he towered over me. He asked if I knew the man who had left my house earlier that evening. […] At this, the old man’s eyes lit up with excitement, and I took an involuntary step back. If he noticed, he didn’t show it, walking past me into the house and ordering me to get any photos that hadn’t changed. […] He told me his name was Adelard Dekker, and that he was an exorcist, of sorts. […] Adelard Dekker stood in the corner. He was straight and motionless, his lips moving rapidly, though no sound came out of them. In the centre of the room, next to the empty box, stood a table carved from dark wood and wrapped all over with a sprawling, intricate pattern. And in front of that table was the thing that had said it was my cousin. It was long and thin, the tops of it bent against the ceiling and its stick-like limbs flailed from too many joints and elbows. Wrapped around it were thick strands of what I think was spider’s web, stretching back into the table, which I now saw pulsed along its carved channels with a sickly light. The face at the top of that gangly frame was like nothing on earth. […] I didn’t return to my house until the next morning. Dekker’s blue van was gone, and in its place was another one, dirty white. There was something printed on the side, but I couldn’t make it out under the grime. I watched two men in overalls carry that same box out of my house, load it up, and drive away. That was about two months ago, and it was the last time I saw them, the table, Adelard Dekker or the thing that wasn’t my cousin.”

(MAG079) NOT!SASHA: Once upon a time there was a monster, but no one realised. Sometimes someone did and then they were scared, so that was good. But one day a nasty man came along. A nasty man who tricked the monster and wrapped it all in webs and tied it to a table. So the monster got its friends to carry the table all around, and it still got to take faces and scare people.

* 22/01/2006: Adelard sent a letter to Gertrude regarding Garland Hillier’s disappearance in 1867 (the year of Robert Smirke’s death…) and describing Bernadette Delcour’s discovery of his old sealed flat, leading to an encounter with the Inheritors from The Extinction.

(MAG134, Adelard Dekker) “Sorry I can’t be there in person to go over all this with you. I still have a few things to clear off over here, but I thought it would be best to let you know as soon as possible. I am now certain my theory is correct: there is something new emerging. A fifteenth Power. […] Now I know what you’re going to say, Gertrude: odd doors are signs of The Spiral, empty worlds tend towards The Lonely, and eschatology is almost literally the study of The End. But this is different. I feel it. This Fear is new. This is a fear of extinction. Of change. It used to be part of The End, perhaps, when The End of humanity was to be the end of all things; but now, the fear is not of a rapture or a revelation; it is of catastrophic change. A change in our world that will wipe out what it means to be “us”, and leave something else in its place. […] These are new fears, Gertrude, and a new Power is rising to consume them. The Extinction. The Terrible Change. The-Future-Without-Us. […] I know you don’t credit my theories, and I’m sure you’ll have plenty to say on this one, but I’m going to need your help with this at some point – I’m sure of it. I don’t know how you can stop the birth of something that has no life, or mind, or… substance, but if anyone can figure it out, it’s you. I’ve never met anyone so gifted at understanding that… strange, dream logic of the Fears, and if what I suspect about this new Power is true, it could be catastrophic. Until then, I’ll keep searching for evidence, trying to find… instances and manifestations of The Extinction. I’ll keep you updated.”

* October 2008: Dekker had helped Gertrude stop The Flesh’s ritual – suggesting she use explosives? Providing them? Helping her set them up in the gnostic church?

(MAG130) GERTRUDE: When I heard there’d been survivors of “The Last Feast”, I was rather concerned that one of them might be able to positively identify me, [CHUCKLE] which could land me in all sorts of trouble! But she doesn’t seem to remember me at all. […] Dekker really came through with the explosives! It almost felt like cheating. Sad about the loss of history but Miss Wright didn’t seem to think the old Gnostic church got many visitors anyway. […] At least we know for sure that these “grand rituals” can be disrupted by conventional means, though a more… nuanced approach will be needed for some of them, I’m sure. Also… I can’t rely on having this much lead time.

* 04/01/2009: Adelard sent a letter to Gertrude describing an unnamed man’s experience in the Bright Lake amusement park in Colorado, with something Adelard identified as an Extinction occurrence.

(MAG156, Adelard Dekker) “Gertrude; I wanted your opinion on an encounter I’ve had described to me recently, and given your recent dealing with Viscera, I would very much value your input. Good job on that, by the way […]. So: what are your thoughts? I’m keen to hear your own interpretation of this account. My first assumption would have been The Flesh, based on the cannibalism and strangeness of the bodies involved, but… something about this idea of some sort of “famine world”, its location within a made-man ruin, the whole… societal aspect of it… I’d be inclined to chalk this up as a genuine Extinction manifestation. But I don’t know. Am I drawing wild conclusions, trying to fit the account into my own preconceptions? Keen to know your feelings on the matter.”

(* 03/10/2009: Gary Boylan gave his statement to the Institute, about the destruction of his village following a signal he had deciphered. No mention of Adelard Dekker in the notes.)

* Undated letter, likely circa 2012: Adelard sent a statement to Gertrude about an avatar of The End encountered when he was tracking The Extinction (without naming it), through a string of people dying by carbon monoxide poisoning in their sleep. Adelard also mentioned that Gertrude had asked him to move out some plastic explosives (he hadn’t been her provider, Gertrude had got them elsewhere).

(MAG113, Adelard Dekker) “I was pursuing my researches into the new emergence I mentioned earlier. I know you are dismissive of the possibility, but if I’m right, the sudden urgency of these “immediate dangers” you are so focused on could very well be a direct result. But that’s for another day, as this particular instance turned out to be unconnected. The point is, I was alerted to a series of deaths by a coroner friend of mine. […] I don’t know if my little “theoretical” is strong enough yet to start taking avatars, but this one, as you’ve no doubt guessed, turned out to be Terminus.”

* 13/05/2013: Judith O’Neill gave her statement about (mostly) unmoving creatures made of garbage, killing a researcher. Judith had been explicitly sent by Adelard:

(MAG149) MARTIN: There’s… hum, a, a note here as well. [PAPER RUSTLING] Looks like Gertrude’s handwriting? Start of a letter to… Dekker, thanking him for sending Judith to her, though… it doesn’t look like it was ever finished or sent. [PAPER RUSTLING] I assume this is another one he was trying to use to prove The Extinction? It… certainly has something in it. Mankind’s trash giving rise to something terrible. And again, fear of the other, inanimate humanoid figures. That’s all very… Stranger, isn’t it?

* Before August 2013: Adelard had apparently been the one to suggest explosives to disrupt The Unknowing. Gertrude made the following comment on 09/10/2014:

(MAG137) GERTRUDE: Another one to cross off the list. Doesn’t help with The Unknowing, though. [HEAVY SIGH] We still have Dekker’s back-up plan, of course, but… it’s very risky. To be sure, I–I think the detonation would need to happen from within The Unknowing, while it was going on.

* 14/08/2013: Adelard Dekker sent an email to Gertrude regarding his suspicion about an Extinction activity in the town of Klanxbüll, which turned out to be the work of John Amherst, from The Corruption. Adelard was poisoned during the fight, and told Gertrude what had happened and how he was choosing to die, ultimately expressing doubts about the reality or the shape of The Extinction:

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “You must forgive me, Gertrude, for any typing and spelling errors that might be in this message. My hands are shaking quite badly and my fingers… aren’t what they were. […] But I shall not wait for it to putrefy as the rot overtakes me. I have dragged those other afflicted I could find into the Parkplatz, laid them at the feet of that appalling throne, and… taken the last gifts of that… generous construction site: a dozen cans of petrol. I will sit upon that seat, and release these poor souls from their suffering. [INHALE] And hopefully make things simpler, for the ECDC clean-up crews. But it did not seem quite right to leave without letting you know what happened. And… Herr [Becker?] was kind enough to succumb to the sickness without signing out of his computer, so… perhaps you were right about The Extinction. I’ve been hunting it for decades now, and… while I have seen evidence of its influence in other Powers, I have never found anything to genuinely prove its emergence as a true Power of its own. Perhaps it is an existential fear that flows through the others like a vein of ore; or perhaps the birth of such things is longer and more complicated than I believed.  For all that though, I cannot regret the time I have spent seeking it. I have done my duty; and none may ask more of me.”

So… although he sounds absolutely dead-dead, I don’t think this is the last we’re hearing from Adelard. I guess it could be possible that he had just left the Web table binding the Not!Them behind him around 2001 (though quite uncharacteristic), but we’re still missing his statement from 1991, and given that Jon had acknowledged that he hadn’t found Dekker’s own statement, I think it’s safe to assume that we could be hearing about it later (in season 5? Or in MAG160, as a “closure” to Dekker’s own story and investigations, since he was quite important through season 4?), in a written statement or through a recording with Gertrude.

- I’m a bit interrogative about the way Adelard mentioned his investigations regarding The Extinction:

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “… perhaps you were right about The Extinction. I’ve been hunting it for decades now, and… while I have seen evidence of its influence in other Powers, I have never found anything to genuinely prove its emergence as a true Power of its own. Perhaps it is an existential fear that flows through the others like a vein of ore; or perhaps the birth of such things is longer and more complicated than I believed. ”

Because the earliest he tried to summarise and essentialise what he felt was the New Power, labelling it “The Extinction”, was in 2006 (MAG134), so only seven years before his death. Was he exaggerating when he said “decades”? Or will we learn more about his genesis, as an addendum, and it was truly a long-time conviction / a dissatisfaction with Smirke’s categorisation? I had already noticed that it was strange (ha) that, although the Not!Them presented itself as a creature from The Stranger (or at least allied to it), the earliest things we know about Adelard was that he was after it… when his description of The Extinction feels very close to some of the Not!Them’s effects (although in lower scales, for the latter); so maybe he had trouble categorising the Not!Them, back then, hence his conviction that a New Power might have been emerging…? Adelard also used some of the names inherited from Smirke’s work:

(MAG113, Adelard Dekker) “There was… an inevitability to his movements, and I think that is when I realised he was simply serving The End, which I won’t pretend wasn’t a disappointment.”

(MAG134, Adelard Dekker) “Now I know what you’re going to say, Gertrude: odd doors are signs of The Spiral, empty worlds tend towards The Lonely, and eschatology is almost literally the study of The End. But this is different. I feel it.”

(MAG156, Adelard Dekker) “So: what are your thoughts? I’m keen to hear your own interpretation of this account. My first assumption would have been The Flesh, based on the cannibalism and strangeness of the bodies involved, but…”

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “I’ve spoken before about how keenly I have watched news of possible pandemics, which is where I suspect The Extinction may pull away from The Corruption during its emergence. […] So, it seemed it was not The Extinction as I had anticipated but simply a new and awful strain of Corruption.”

But he was also occasionally labelling them in unique ways:

(MAG113, Adelard Dekker) “I don’t know if my little “theoretical” is strong enough yet to start taking avatars, but this one, as you’ve no doubt guessed, turned out to be Terminus.”

(MAG156, Adelard Dekker) “I wanted your opinion on an encounter I’ve had described to me recently, and given your recent dealing with Viscera, I would very much value your input.”

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “I have spoken to you before of Christabel, my… contact within the ECDC. She had a run-in with the Crawling Rot some decades ago, and has since then kept me up to date with any incidents they have encountered which display “unusual” properties.”

(Though that last one was also used by Arthur Nolan in MAG145: “Found a mass of the Crawling Rot growing, a while back. Managed to get a hold of the property before it became too big. Gotta wait ‘til it blossoms before we can properly burn it.”)

It is curious that, of all people, we didn’t get Adelard’s story of his first few years, how he came in contact with the Powers, with Gertrude, why/how he came to tracking down avatars, so I think there is a good chance we could get a statement about it, indeed. After all, we keep hearing stories of/from people who have been dead for a while; what I’m curious is when/how it could be done in a way that would “add” something else to the current storyline, if we’re done with The Extinction after the season 4 finale…? (Unless we aren’t.) Or it could be about categorising, or the concept of “Faith” against the Fears, I guess.

- There is something heart-breaking putting together his ways of addressing Gertrude in his messages:

(MAG134, Adelard Dekker) “Gertrude; Sorry I can’t be there in person to go over all this with you. I still have a few things to clear off over here, but I thought it would be best to let you know as soon as possible. […] I’ll keep you updated. Stay safe. Adelard.”

(MAG156, Adelard Dekker) “Gertrude; I wanted your opinion on an encounter I’ve had described to me recently, and given your recent dealing with Viscera, I would very much value your input. Good job on that, by the way; I’m sure the gnostic temple was a great loss culturally speaking, but I can’t help but admire your directness when it comes to dealing with this sort of thing. […] So: what are your thoughts? I’m keen to hear your own interpretation of this account. […] Keen to know your feelings on the matter. […] Oh – one more thing: if you do try to follow up with my source – and I know you have your own ways of finding him should you wish – please be careful. He told me, near the end, that he had recently been worried he was being followed. He keeps catching glimpses of a thin figure in the distance, or disappearing around a corner, and I can’t quite get past the detail that there was no reflection at all in the mirror he used to return. If my suspicions are correct, there’s little either of us could do for him; but do take care, should you make contact.”

(MAG113, Adelard Dekker) “Gertrude; It should all be here, though god knows I was tempted to take a block for myself just in case. […] Anyway, you owe me a favour. And… maybe another one once you read this. It might come to nothing, but it’s something you should probably be aware of. […] I’m sure you can take care of yourself, of course, but I thought it would be worth letting you know. Good luck, Gertrude. And enjoy the fireworks.”

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “You must forgive me, Gertrude, for any typing and spelling errors that might be in this message. […] This is the last time you will hear from me. You must trust me on that and not come looking. Not that you would; I know you’re too smart for sentimentality, especially after what I have to tell you, but I feel it worth saying nonetheless. […] I’ve wondered, Gertrude, whether you are truly as fearless as you seem; or if you are simply a master of disguising your terror…! I suppose I’ll never have a chance to find out. I rather hope it was the former. However much I disagree with some of your methods, it feels good to believe there are people in this world who can stare down the devil without flinching. […] But it did not seem quite right to leave without letting you know what happened. And… Herr [Becker?] was kind enough to succumb to the sickness without signing out of his computer, so… […] I am proud of the work we have done, and it has been an honour to do it alongside you. Goodbye, Gertrude. May you find your rest where no shadows are cast… and no eyes may see you slumber.”

Politely beginning all his letters with “Gertrude”, except for the last one, which began with apologies. Ending each ones with little words of encouragements and concern (“Stay safe”, “do take care”, “good luck”)… up until that “goodbye” in the last one.

Something that MAG157 put into a new perspective, too: in MAG137, Gertrude had mentioned “Adelard’s back-up plan” to thwart The Unknowing. That recording had happened in October 2014; Adelard had been dead for more than a year at this point. When she sighed right before mentioning him, was it only a pragmatic sigh, linked to the fact that she was a bit at a loss to counter The Stranger? Or was it also because she had lost her closest ally, and someone she had been seeing as a friend despite herself, and who wasn’t there anymore…?

(And in the end, Gertrude didn’t have the time to stop The Unknowing and to follow through with Adelard’s plan. Jon, Tim and the others followed in her footsteps and, without knowing, also in Adelard’s, accomplishing the plans of two dead people…)

(- There is still The Mystery Of Gertrude’s Death and thinking again about MAG113 made me realise that, UHOH???

(MAG113, Adelard Dekker) “Anyway, you owe me a favour. And… maybe another one once you read this. It might come to nothing, but it’s something you should probably be aware of. […] I cannot make any guarantees Justin Gough will remain in the state I left him. And it seems that, as he deals in dreams, it may be worth your while to keep an eye on the statements you take, in case he finds his way here. I’m sure you can take care of yourself, of course, but I thought it would be worth letting you know.” […] ARCHIVIST: This was found tucked into a hard case containing… many blocks of plastic explosive, kept by Gertrude Robinson in a storage unit that I can only assume has… extremely lax oversight. It is unclear if she ever read it. […] I know there are more important things to be doing, but I did ask Basira to have a quick search for Justin Gough, see what might have happened to him. There are records of his residence in an East London care facility until 2015, when he disappears from their records. Several deaths among the staff apparently occurred at roughly the same time. And it will come as no surprise that the inquest returned a verdict of carbon monoxide poisoning in each case. I’m not too concerned, to be honest, my dreams are, uh... well, let’s just say I don’t think they're going be letting anyone else in any time soon.

… Adelard had explicitly warned her about an avatar from The End who dealt with dreams, who went loose again in 2015.

… And Jon wasn’t sure that Gertrude had read this message.

… And in March 2015, Oliver, End-touched person, soon to become avatar, had described his own dreams of Gertrude, terrified, being the target of the vines usually announcing people’s death…

We know that Gertrude didn’t die when she should have (she was still alive in April 2015, if she didn’t lie on the date), and Elias confessed to her murder, and she had plain mundane bullets in her body… But it’s actually extreeeemely suspicious that Justin Gough escaped the year she died? Was The End involved in her death a bit more actively than just through Oliver’s visions…? Or was Oliver’s vision the fate awaiting her if Justin had managed to kill her?)

- One Nice Thing (aesthetically) is that I really experienced Adelard’s realisation right along with him? I assumed that the town was under a new Extinction threat, assumed we were on the verge of meeting our first Extinction avatar… and then, as Adelard already introduced the idea that he had been Wrong and began describing the cause of the town’s downfall, I suddenly realised that OH NO, LANKY AND BROWN COAT, IS THAT–

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “No pale spectre in a lab coat, or twisted golem of petri dishes and test tubes. No; he was… lanky, wearing an ill-fitting brown suit and a smile. I’d never previously had the misfortune to meet him, but I knew the description well enough to recognise John Amherst.”

… and it was.

(MAG036, Nicole Baxter) “The door to the reception opened, and a tall man stepped out. He was rail thin and wore a faded brown suit that seemed to have been cut for a much fatter man. His eyes were a watery blue and his dark hair stood on top of his head in an unruly mess. He must have been around forty, but had a nervous sort of energy to him.”

(MAG055) JORDAN: He was tall, maybe 6ft5? But it was hard to be sure of his shape inside the huge, brown suit he was wearing.

(Extra funny thing is that “ill-fitting brown suit” + “a John” also feels really close to how Jon probably looks like from the outside.)

- I’m so sad for Adelard, but also so proud of him in a way?! It’s a really strange feeling because we’ve never heard him live (so far?), but he was still a reassuring figure in some way. I was anticipating that he could have snapped, because I Remember Oliver, but no: although he was giving up pretty fast when it came to saving their potential victims, Adelard was simply someone who would fight what he identified as evil, putting his life on the line when it came to stopping threatening avatars. It’s interesting to compare what we heard of him with Gertrude: Adelard was firm, a bit callous at time, but not keen on sacrificing people to reach his goals, and was personally involving himself in the cases he was investigating… to the cost of his own life, as it happened in MAG157. (So it was not “like Oliver”, it was “like Gerry”. If you like a character, and you feel like they could be helpful/do some good: either they’ve turned into a monster since then, either they’re dead. … Though, now: we… have no Characters Who Are Helping left still alive at the moment – hoping that it could mean that Team Archive will more or less try to go that way but ;; Not very optimistic about it.)

Adelard had expressed that he was afraid of the idea of dying in his sleep:

(MAG113, Adelard Dekker) “I’ll even make it a statement. Give your patron something to keep it satisfied. It’s not like I sleep enough to worry about dreams. […] It’s odd, isn’t it? Sleep. That you can never remember or fully pin down the exact moment you lose consciousness. Just lying there, waiting to find yourself in a dream without the first clue or interest in how or when you got there. Or to find your eyes closed and force them open to sunlight and morning, only realising that sleep has happened in retrospect. I wonder if… death is the same way? No clear dividing line, just… gone, only to realise after it’s happened, except for the fact that there isn’t an after. Is that a comforting thought or a terrifying one? Depends on who you are, I suppose. It bothered me when I was young. If I thought too hard about the concept of sleep, of exactly what it was, I would worry myself, and end up having to turn the light on, and read for an hour or two. Everyone always talks about how they want to die in their sleep, but honestly, I think that’s the death that scares me the most.”

So ;; Best outcome you can hope for really is dying on your own terms, uh. We got it with Tim, and Adelard got to face his own death awake, in a situation he chose to put himself in, also turning it in one last “good” action (putting an end to the suffering of the villagers who… indeed couldn’t be saved at this point):

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “This is the last time you will hear from me. […] Perhaps I’m simply prevaricating, trying to cling on to a few more precious minutes of life – but that’s not me. I know what awaits me, and must have no hesitation in going to my reward. [SCOFF] I know you’ve never had much patience for my faith, but perhaps it will provide you some small peace knowing I face my death gladly, knowing I have done my duty before God. […] For all that though, I cannot regret the time I have spent seeking it. I have done my duty; and none may ask more of me. I am proud of the work we have done, and it has been an honour to do it alongside you.”

“Faith” was present in more than one aspect in his last message: as his religion, which had driven him (and in hindsight, I realised that there had been a few words from that lexical field in his past statements) and in which he found comfort in his last moments; as his belief in Gertrude and their “work” together. And, in parallel, there was also a loss of faith, as he was hypothesising that he may have been wrong all along about The Extinction as a Fifteenth Power:

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “so… perhaps you were right about The Extinction. I’ve been hunting it for decades now, and… while I have seen evidence of its influence in other Powers, I have never found anything to genuinely prove its emergence as a true Power of its own.”

So, it was a bittersweet ending, but one that didn’t feel utterly crushing either. On the one hand, it’s still a death; it’s upsetting that Adelard died while neutralising a dangerous menace who had caused harm to many people, it’s sad that his death was caused from a Corruption avatar while Adelard had been running after The Extinction all this time – he did something brave and amazing in his last actions, but it would have had more meaning, for him, if it had been against The Extinction… and precisely, John Amherst was a tipping point making Adelard lose faith in his theory. But it’s still honourable, and fits Adelard well, as someone who made that world a bit less dark, who was keeping in mind circumstantial victims without always getting lost in the Big Plans and the Big Picture like Gertrude:

(MAG078, Lawrence Moore) “Then he instructed me to go to my bedroom, and not to leave until he told me it was safe. I did protest at that, and I asked him how my locking myself upstairs would help save Carl. There was no sympathy in his voice when he told me my cousin was dead, that nothing would bring him back, and that my best chance to not join him was to stay in the bedroom until everything was over. He did not seem inclined to tell me what he meant by “everything”.”

(MAG134, Adelard Dekker) “I may try to interview her again later, though I have my suspicions she may find herself disappearing. She has that… quality about her, I’m sure you know what I mean, o–of an unfinished meal. And I can only hope that when the second course starts, she can remember her way back to Garland Hillier’s apartment once more.”

(MAG156, Adelard Dekker) “… Anyway, I was following up on a young man who had apparently had a nasty experience whilst exploring the ruins of the Bright Lake amusement park in Colorado. You will forgive me if I withhold his name, as I have all the verification I need to be convinced he’s telling the truth, and I find it hard to believe any follow-up you’d be interested in doing would be beneficial for him. He’s earned his anonymity. […] He keeps catching glimpses of a thin figure in the distance, or disappearing around a corner, and I can’t quite get past the detail that there was no reflection at all in the mirror he used to return. If my suspicions are correct, there’s little either of us could do for him […].”

(MAG113, Adelard Dekker) “I think that is when I realised he was simply serving The End, which I won’t pretend wasn’t a disappointment. But still, I thought if I could deal with him and save a few lives, I might as well. […] I was not quick enough to save the man who lived in that house. Truth be told, I didn’t especially try. I didn’t think I would be able to move quick enough to do so, and was more concerned with being quiet and thorough. […] I knew it wouldn’t kill him, he’s too far from human for me to do so, but I thought that scrambling his brain a bit was probably my best bet. And I was right, as far as it goes. He survived what I did to him, and when the police picked him up after an ‘anonymous tip’ about a break-in, he was barely able to speak, and I very much hope I managed to sever his dreams.”

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “I knew at that moment that there was nothing that could be done to save the town. But I could perhaps identify the cause – and identify it I did. […] So, it seemed it was not The Extinction as I had anticipated but simply a new and awful strain of Corruption. Still. It was not something I felt I could leave to run its course unopposed. […] I have dragged those other afflicted I could find into the Parkplatz, laid them at the feet of that appalling throne, and… taken the last gifts of that… generous construction site: a dozen cans of petrol. I will sit upon that seat, and release these poor souls from their suffering. [INHALE] And hopefully make things simpler, for the ECDC clean-up crews.”

And it’s so soft that his last words were for Gertrude, not berating her, but almost… comforting her?

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “For all that though, I cannot regret the time I have spent seeking it. I have done my duty; and none may ask more of me. I am proud of the work we have done, and it has been an honour to do it alongside you. Goodbye, Gertrude. May you find your rest where no shadows are cast… and no eyes may see you slumber.”

(Wishing her the best, uh. I can read the mention of “shadows” as innocuous, but I also wonder if it might not be a direct reference to something of Gertrude’s personal history with The Dark?)

(- I also mean: gdi, what is it with season 4 and the way it’s offering me New Ships For Gertrude. We got Gertrude/Agnes, a bit of Web/Gertrude, I was wondering if she didn’t used to have some Feelings for Eric, now I’m REALLY digging Gertrude/Adelard, gdi.)

- Adelard died in August 2013, Gerry in late 2014. Gertrude had previously lost Michael sometime after late 2009 (MAG126 mentioned the upcoming “Great Twisting”), although in his case, she had minutely planned his sacrifice. I’m not sure Leitner was a good judge of character (was Leitner good at… anything.), but he had gotten the feeling that she was getting lonely:

(MAG080) LEITNER: I think she was lonely. I didn’t meet her until about six years ago, after she’d lost the last of her own assistants. She would mention them sometimes. I believe she missed having someone to talk to on occasion. ARCHIVIST: I… I didn’t know Gertrude had assistants. LEITNER: Of course. Three of them, each meeting an unpleasant end.

(During her last year, Leitner was apparently her last “ally”. That’s telling how low she was, and how bad the situation was, I guess.)

Those were rough years for Gertrude, uh? I wonder how much Adelard’s death impacted her – if she took it in stride, or if it almost made her crumble; they had been allied for at least twenty years, at this point, and it really sounded like she trusted him; there was a very specific enthusiasm when she mentioned the explosives stopping The Last Feast in MAG130?

… on the less bright side, I wonder if Adelard’s death was what pushed her to try and seek out Gerry? She had promised to find him in August 2008:

(MAG154) ERIC: I want you to find my son. If Mary is… if she’s gone, or worse… I want you to make sure he’s alright. GERTRUDE: [HUFF] I’m not exactly a mother figure. ERIC: You could hardly do worse than her. GERTRUDE: Fine. But I don’t know what growing up with Mary has done to him. If he’s… gone rotten, I can’t promise anything. ERIC: I understand. GERTRUDE: I suppose he might be useful. ERIC: Oh, sentimental as ever.

But we know she didn’t do it right away:

(MAG111) GERRY: In the end it was Gertrude who saved me. She came to me when I was desperate, nowhere to go, and she offered to help. […] I think you know the rest. I joined Gertrude’s work for a few years. Didn’t realise how ill I was until it finally caught up with me. Then I died.

Gerry mentioned that they had worked together for “a few years”, but Mary Keay ~died~ in 2008 according to MAG004 and haunted Gerry for “five years” according to him in MAG111, so that would put Gertrude finding him around 2013 – so, they worked together for a bit less than two years, before Gerry died. It could be that Adelard’s death was the reason why Gertrude finally decided to honour the promise she had made to Eric, and if so, yikes. Still utilitarian until the end, uh.

(Though: did Gerry remind her of Adelard, at least a bit, in the way he was waving his way through the Fears and neutralising supernatural occurrences and/or begrudgingly helping people to get out…?)

(- Adelard wondering about whether or not Gertrude felt fear reminded me of Arthur’s comment about it:

(MAG145) ARTHUR: [SCOFF] Yeah. … But you don’t actually care about Them, do you? […] All your energy is focused down here, on monsters and… murderers, and all the things doing the dirty work for Them Beyond. You know plenty, sure! But you don’t have that obsession, that stupid urge to try and understand and… classify things that use logic and reality like weapons. GERTRUDE: Hm. Per–perhaps. ARTHUR: [CHUCKLE] Always respected you for that. Takes a strong stomach to not give a shit. GERTRUDE: Eh! You’ll forgive me if I’m not overjoyed at the compliment?

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “I’ve wondered, Gertrude, whether you are truly as fearless as you seem; or if you are simply a master of disguising your terror…! I suppose I’ll never have a chance to find out. I rather hope it was the former. However much I disagree with some of your methods, it feels good to believe there are people in this world who can stare down the devil without flinching. [SHORT SNEER]”

And 1°) it obviously puts Georgie to mind, though in her case, her inability to feel fear was inflicted on her, and 2°) … Oliver had seen Gertrude terrorised in his dreams:

(MAG011, “Antonio Blake”) “Getting closer I realised that there was a person sitting at that desk and it was them that all of this scarlet light was flowing into. I could see none of the figure’s body beneath the flesh that enclosed them, but as I moved around I saw the face was uncovered. It was your face and the expression upon it was far more fearful than any I had seen in eight years of wandering this twilight city. That was when I awoke. […] If you do see this in time and read this far, then to be honest I don’t know what else to tell you. Be careful. There is something coming for you and I don’t know what it is, but it is so much worse than anything I can imagine. At the very least you should look into appointing a successor.”

… so I don’t think Gertrude couldn’t feel it, which means she was probably just really good at hiding it. On the other hand, creature and monsters feel fears and are fed by it, so would it even be possible to fool them if she wasn’t truly fearless?)

- ;; Something bittersweet, too, is that… Gertrude apparently Learned from Adelard and took a page from his book when it came to concrete:

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “I can’t deny some pride in my solution, Gertrude. In all our discussions of how to contain a being that we could not destroy… I’m not sure we ever hit on a method quite so neat…! I am no builder but, by the end, I think you would have been hard-pressed to criticise how well that concrete had been laid – and Amherst four feet beneath it.”

(MAG103, Dylan Anderson) “If you hadn’t turned up that evening, I don’t know what I’d have done. I know a monster pig wasn’t what you were looking for, but I do appreciate your advice. When you explained the situation, I hoped you’d have some special trick for dealing with it, but I suppose welding scrap metal around the pen and filling it with cement just about works, even if I do owe Mason a favour for borrowing his mixer. I’d have thought the thing would at least try to break free while I did it, but… thank heaven for small mercies, I suppose. A huge block of solid concrete. What ought to do with it? Some sort of engraving, maybe?”

Monster Pig happened in July 2014, so eleven months after Adelard’s message. And Jon had also noticed that Gertrude’s computer had receipts involving “petrol”:

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “I have dragged those other afflicted I could find into the Parkplatz, laid them at the feet of that appalling throne, and… taken the last gifts of that… generous construction site: a dozen cans of petrol.”

(MAG066) ARCHIVIST: There’s also the matter of the products she was ordering. There were several online orders of petrol, lighter fluid, pesticides, and high-powered torches. They are sporadic, but notable in that she did not drive, smoke or work in pest control.

… So maybe it was also an idea she got from Adelard’s last actions. Utilitarian, and/or an homage, in a way.

- I’m also HUMMMM re:Adelard, because if there is one thing that’s been recurring when he was depicted fighting avatars or monsters, it’s that he tended to notice what he could use in his surroundings and improvise a lot…

(MAG113, Adelard Dekker) “Truth be told, I didn’t especially try. I didn’t think I would be able to move quick enough to do so, and was more concerned with being quiet and thorough. The cutlery drawer was largely empty, but after a minute’s searching I did find what I was after: a long, metal skewer. Did you know there are certain forms of brain injury that cut you off from your ability to dream?”

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “At first, I was struck almost with despair, having nothing to hand with which I might attempt a confrontation with this creature. But upon retreating some ways, and considering my options, I realised I actually had… almost the exact resources to hand that I might need. A few minutes spent scouting the surrounding streets even revealed a small construction site, almost precisely suited to my requirements. I returned to the cordon and took what I needed: a stretcher, as many quarantine sleeves as I could carry, and a syringe. […] I loaded the gear into a wheelbarrow I had taken from the building site along with a thick metal chain, and began to head back towards the Parkplatz, stopping only to fill the syringe from a can of garden pesticide I had noticed during my earlier sweep of the houses. […] I dragged the thing over to the building site, and with the last of my strength threw him into the hole that had been left. By this point, the concrete truck I had turned on earlier had been mixing for some time, and it was a simple matter to open the pump and… pour the contents of its hopper down on top of him.”

And isn’t it a bit like Basira?

(MAG142) MARTIN: Would have thought Basira would’ve had more sense, though. DAISY: When Basira and I were partners, I’d see this happen sometimes. She can read a… situation like no one I know, always seems to know the right move, but for all her research, she never wants to put a plan together. I think she just hates all the unknowns, the… variables. [SIGH] Contingencies. If she spots an advantage, she’ll… grab it, and trust herself to figure out the details as she goes. MARTIN: Hm. DAISY: It’s worked so far.

- Aaaah, so confirmation/a few more things about The Eye’s effect!

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “My hands are shaking quite badly and my fingers… aren’t what they were. Even so, just knowing where this is going, this… statement [CHUCKLE], I can feel The Eye’s power on me, be it ever so slight. Steadying me; helping the words flow. Is it strange that… here… now… that seems almost a comfort…?”

I was wondering if something wasn’t at work in the same way as for live statements since people’s letters were so articulate too – it sounds like just being conscious that you’re sending a message to the Institute and/or an Archivist and/or to an agent of The Eye is enough to put you under The Eye’s spell, because your tale interests it? GOSH, it was so sad that Adelard was aware of it, but also that he was potentially stalling since, as long as he was giving a “statement”, he wouldn’t drop dead or reach a state of too much pain to continue…

I’m curious about the fact that the letters Jonah Magnus was receiving were of the same kind – clear enough to be read as statements. Was it “simply” because his penpals from the XIXth century were quite educated and used to sending long, articulate letters? Or was the fact that they knew they were sending them to Jonah influencing them? If so: was it because he was under The Eye’s effects… or because, specifically, he was an Archivist at the time…? (We still don’t know where Jonah fit, back then, if he was more like Elias, or more like Jon… He was collecting supernatural stories, at least.)

- More on the medium Adelard used to give this statement later, but it was explicitly an email:

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “You must forgive me, Gertrude, for any typing and spelling errors that might be in this message. […] But it did not seem quite right to leave without letting you know what happened. And… Herr [Becker?] was kind enough to succumb to the sickness without signing out of his computer, so…”

1°) It… worked on a computer. It went through. We only know for sure that statements don’t record digitally in audio form but I was wondering about written ones, whether they could be typed down… Not sure if that’s a confirmation that yes, they can; or if there is something wrong with this statement; or if it’s that somehow, “something” (Web?) helped Adelard’s message to go through.

2°) … There was no static at any point of it during Jon’s reading. I don’t know when statement-reading static has happened for the last time during narration, but there were many moments in this statement at which there could have been, when describing supernatural things…? Why didn’t the tape recorder react to anything at all during the statement, even though Adelard described his encounter with a very powerful avatar? There were no quoted words or verbal exchanges, yes, but the tape recorders don’t only go All Staticcy at those. Overall, I realise that Jon’s last readings haven’t produced a lot of static? Iirc, there was nothing since MAG148, except for a few lines in MAG153 (“Love Bombing”), when there were direct quotes. Is there something hidden in the fact that the tape recorders are reacting less lately…?

- Adelard’s death was Sad News, but I’m so glad that we learned that John Amherst was actually neutralised a few years ago… in the same episode in which we got confirmation that Melanie is alright, is not regretting her choice one bit, and that it didn’t go supernaturally “wrong” or anything.

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] … No, you’re right, I’m sorry. A–are you alright? MELANIE: Yes! I’m, hum… actually doing okay…! ARCHIVIST: That’s good. MELANIE: [SOFT CHUCKLES] My therapist isn’t happy about it, you know? Uh, unsurprisingly. Tried to have me put away, but they, uh… they let me come here. It’s, it’s been good for me, though! I… I feel alright. I’m, hum… I’m not scared anymore.

I was so afraid that John Amherst would be re-emerging, thus giving Melanie an incentive to go back to business in order to avenge her father? But nop! John Amherst was sealed under concrete five years ago! We’re not safe from him freeing himself, but it’s a hypothetical, not an active threat. Melanie is just free to… enjoy her life. Really free from All That (at least right now), and she… really sounded like she had found peace ;w;

I do also like that it seems like she’s back to the world. The Institute was a closed universe, with its personal rules – only Section 31 officers go when something happens, the Archives team has been isolated (Jon also mentioned that the regular staff didn’t want to talk with him much lately); but now, Melanie is back to another world, with its own rules and workings. Yes, gouging your eyes out is self-mutilation, and means you need help (although in practice, institutionalisation can make things worse); yes, your therapist is going to get worried about it. (The fact that Melanie still said “my” therapist also said, to me, that she was still seeing her? But aouch for the therapist; she must be used to compartmentalising, she must be used to patients self-harming, but probably not to the point of what Melanie did…)

I’m not absolutely sure it was the intended impression, but I reaaally felt that Melanie was currently on painkillers and/or tranquilisers? Her voice sounded almost too relaxed, she sounded like she had just woken up together with The Admiral, and Georgie was insistent on her resting. Nothing negative there – I would find it a bit reassuring for her to be medically handled right now, actually! Doesn’t have to be forever, doesn’t invalidate her words about feeling fine. Just. Melanie is not isolated; she needed help, she sought it, she did something that is understandably perceived as self-harm by society, and she is being tutored to make sure she can relearn to function. (I also wondered, at first, if Georgie was talking to The Admiral or to Melanie because she sounded a bit too cautious rather than tender and concerned, to me? So that would fit, if Melanie’s under treatment right now, and really not needing the extra strain.)

- We lost Tim and he left… so many… Bi babies… in his wake…

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: Look, is she here or not? She–she said she was staying with you. GEORGIE: Yes, she’s here. ARCHIVIST: Really? Where’s all her stuff? GEORGIE: Bedroom, why? ARCHIVIST: … No, I just– [STATIC] Oh. Oh! I’m sor– I didn’t– I didn’t realise you were… to–together… GEORGIE: That’s ‘cause it’s none of your business. Now leave.

(MAG086) MELANIE: Then there are some old cuttings about Robin Patton. […] Hmm, wasn’t bad looking, before… well… that.

(MAG106) MELANIE: I don’t think so; Georgie Barker? She does What the Ghost?. […] Well, she and Jon, they… dated. BASIRA: Yeah? MELANIE: I mean, it was years ago.

(That’s also putting another light of Melanie’s discomfort when she mentioned that Jon&Georgie had dated – I was assuming it was mostly because Urk, Don’t Wanna Think About Jon’s Romantic Life since she was Eww at the concept of thinking about him sleeping with Martin, but. (ALSO, the beauty that in the same breath, we had Melanie talking about Georgie, describing past Jon-Georgie, and mentioning Martin’s ~fussing~ over Jon.))

“What’s the Ghost?” is officially queer culture! ;w;

I’m SUPER GLAD for Georgie to get a girlfriend, very !! but a tiny bit less over Melanie&Georgie being together at the moment – but that’s mostly because 1°) I also REALLY love Deep And Very Important Platonic Relationships, and Melanie&Georgie had been that to me so far with Georgie helping her, and we… don’t have a lot of deep friendships at the moment (quite the contrary, we have a lot of pairs who are (not all confirmed but STILL) romantic in nature: Martin-Jon, Basira-Daisy, now Georgie-Melanie), and personal taste but I would have liked to hear about Melanie re-learning to function outside of the Institute before learning that she’s actually romantically involved with the person who had supported her in her steps towards recovery, 2°) … I’m super concerned about Basira&Daisy because, if one romantic relationship had to be canon-canonised, I was expecting them to get that first, and I’m Still Super Afraid About Daisy’s Chances Of Survival By The End Of The Season, so a bit heartlessly strategical here, but thinking that giving us Georgie/Melanie miiiiight be a way to not… destroy all the wlw romances. If Daisy dies, I’m also losing the only Intense Platonic Friendship we have at the moment (hers with Jon), so, sob.

… But then, Melanie is saying that JON IS A FRIEND

(MAG157) GEORGIE: Melanie, you don’t have to do this… MELANIE: It’s, it’s okay. He’s… welcome. As a friend. But that’s it. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] … Right. MELANIE: But you’re not after a friend, are you, Jon?

AND I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS NEW CHALLENGER!! IT’S SUCH A WILD DEVELOPMENT THINKING BACK TO THEIR FIRST INTERACTIONS…………………

(MAG028) MELANIE: I knew you guys were a bit… slapdash, but this is absurd. ARCHIVIST: No doubt you’re used to a higher calibre of equipment when pretending to see ghosts in old churchyards and mental institutions. MELANIE: People like a show. People like our show. And, even if we do ham it up a bit, even we do add a bit of sparkle, we’re still more respected and evidence-based paranormal investigators than you and your lot. [NERVOUS, DISPARAGING LAUGH] ARCHIVIST: We are not “paranormal investigators”. We are researchers. Scholars. MELANIE: Whatever. […] ARCHIVIST: Hmm. And you’re sure you weren’t… dreaming? MELANIE: Are you serious? ARCHIVIST: I just have to check every possibility. Obviously working in your field, you must have quite a powerful imagination. MELANIE: Great! Great! I should have known this was a complete waste of my time.

(MAG063) MELANIE: You look like hell. ARCHIVIST: It’s been a hard few months. Look, can I help you, because if you’re just after another shouting match… MELANIE: No! I… I actually do need your help. ARCHIVIST: Hm. Interesting. MELANIE: Alright, can you not be an arsehole about it? I just need access to your library. […] I don’t exactly have the “academic credentials” you guys demand. So I apparently need someone to vouch for me. And you’re basically the closest thing I’ve got to a friend here. ARCHIVIST: We’ve spoken once, and we ended up screaming at each other.

So yes, losing a platonic relationship but getting a new friendship in the process ;w;

- I’m not sure the scene actually played this way? But given how The Admiral purred:

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: Ah– [DOOR OPENS] MELANIE: Oh? What’s go–, what’s going on? You… you woke The Admiral… GEORGIE: Hey, hey, easy; it’s–it’s alright, he was just leaving. ARCHIVIST: Melanie, I… MELANIE: Jon…? ARCHIVIST: Yeah, it’s… me. GEORGIE: It’s alright, Melanie. Jon, leave. [ADMIRAL STARTS PURRING] ARCHIVIST: I’m sorry, I just… […] I suppose not… GEORGIE: Okay [ADMIRAL MEOWS IN PROTEST], you’re done. [PURRING CEASES] ARCHIVIST: Yeah. [INHALE] Yeah, I am.

I pictured The Admiral rushing towards Jon as soon as Melanie opened the door, more or less climbing on Jon until Jon secured him in his arms. The Admiral’s purrs were loud, so he had to be close to the tape recorder, right? And given his protest when Georgie cut in, she removed him from a comfy place, so that wasn’t Melanie’s arms.

(So: I pictured it as The Admiral in Jon’s arms AND Melanie petting it, able to find him through his purr. Melanie’s voice sounded like she was doing something else at the same time, to me? So yeah. Very close, very intimate, very comfy.)

(Kudos to Georgie for stepping back once Melanie began to talk about herself, without interrupting! She’s a good! Jon also has learnt his lesson from MAG131 and did not interrupt, listened to her! Sadly, Georgie is losing Awesomeness Points because… she retrieved The Admiral before he was done purring? D: Kitty crime??? Georgie, how could you do that to the cat? D:)

- I found Georgie a bit less harsh about Jon, too: not saying that her stances in season 4 haven’t been valid, far from it! But she’s still fair, and she didn’t blame him for Melanie’s injuries, she only pointed out the sacrifice Melanie had to make in order to flee, and wanted to make sure that Jon wouldn’t undo it, which was… extremely legitimate.

(MAG157) [CLICK–] [MUFFLED SOUNDS OF THE STREET] GEORGIE: No, Jon, you’ve done enough! ARCHIVIST: I just need to talk to her. GEORGIE: What don’t you understand? She mutilated herself to get out of that place, and there is absolutely no way I’m letting you involve her again! ARCHIVIST: Look, is she here or not? She–she said she was staying with you.

(And she was right about Jon threatening to pull Melanie back in, since Jon acknowledged he wasn’t really after a “friend” in current circumstances.)

Since Melanie did acknowledge that it might have been hard for Jon to tell her about Eric’s statement, I wonder if Georgie won’t mellow down about Jon a bit, given that Jon has indeed been trying a bit more, lately…? That will depend on Jon’s state at the end of season 4 (are we “losing” him forever? Or will he still try to not totally give in to The Eye, without cutting their link?), but it could be a possibility…

(I liked what we saw of Jon&Georgie’s friendship in season 3 a lot é_è Jon had remembered their break-up as having been a bad one, and despite it, they were getting along in season 3, and Georgie could be harsh and fair with him, so… I still want to cling to the hope that they’d manage to get back on speaking terms at some point, if Jon doesn’t fall entirely and keeps trying like he has begun to do… Maybe there could still be a way for them to build something again… maybe…)

(- At the same time: yes, Melanie&Georgie are legitimate to want to stay out of the supernatural business and to not participate in it anymore.

… On the other hand: if “bad things are coming” and an apocalypse is launched, and the world is changed, and monsters are let loose into the world because what was left of Team Archive wasn’t powerful/competent/numerous enough to prevent it… they won’t have any right to complain about what happens. But that’s interesting, because still “nobody is right/wrong” in their situations, even when they’re not directly harming anybody; if nobody is there to stop powerful avatars, like Adelard did, or to prevent rituals, then what would happen? More victims, probably. So, at the same time, it feels like it’s nobody’s and everybody’s responsibility to step in when they can.)

- Okay, so Basira&Daisy were unavailable, and Jon didn’t have anyone else, but still SOBBING that “someone I can trust” turned out to be Melanie, because gnnn. After learning about Eric’s statement, they made different choices, but I’m so soft for the fact that Jon still valued Melanie’s opinion and…

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: Melanie, I… MELANIE: Jon…? ARCHIVIST: Yeah, it’s… me. GEORGIE: It’s alright, Melanie. Jon, leave. [ADMIRAL STARTS PURRING] ARCHIVIST: I’m sorry, I just… It’s Martin. MELANIE: Jon… don’t… Please. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] … No, you’re right, I’m sorry. A–are you alright? MELANIE: Yes! I’m, hum… actually doing okay…! ARCHIVIST: That’s good.

… wanted to make sure she was fine!!! Even in the midst of urgency, of the fact that Martin was very likely in Big Danger and Not Fine, Jon still took the time to ask Melanie about it!!

- Jon Learned but at the same time, so many poor choices of words…

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: Look, is she here or not? […] Look after yourself. Both of you.

jON… Being an Eye avatar doesn’t mean you have to be insensitive about it…

- ;; Overall: I’m sad that… Jon has indeed learnt. He didn’t dash to the tunnels, trying to find the centre on his own, or to go fight Peter. He immediately understood he needed to think about the broader picture, about who could have wanted him to listen to the tape and read the statement, and his first instinct was to want to talk about it with people he could trust.

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: Am I just hearing what I want to hear? I need a second opinion, but… Basira and Daisy are… “out”, somewhere. […] I need someone I can trust. [LONG SIGH] […] Please, Georgie, it’s not– … I just need to know I’m not overreacting to something, I need an outside perspective.

It’s mostly that, due to circumstances, all his options have been cut. The timing of Daisy&Basira leaving is definitely too suspicious to think that it was unrelated and had nothing to do with getting Jon isolated, worried, and prone to being easily manipulated into doing something… so I’m guessing that the point was that someone/thing (Elias, Peter or Annabelle) is trying to get him to reach the centre. But Jon did try, and indeed, what other options would he have at the moment? Waiting for Basira&Daisy to come back, while Martin could be getting sacrificed? With the current configuration, I can understand that Jon is not keen on risking it… although, yeah. It’s undoing all the “trust” he was forcing himself to give Martin from afar during this season – his understanding that Martin had a plan, and that Jon had to hope Martin knew what he was doing to ensure Martin’s success. Jon made a mistake once when he tried to “Know” about Peter’s plans at the end of MAG139… and is probably doing a new one right now, confused by urgency. (“A tiny… hairline fracture, which destroys everything.”, to quote MAG139 orz)

… and hum. You know what had previously claimed to bank on Jon’s worry for someone to get him to level up a bit more?

(MAG135) ELIAS: Fine. Consider it a test – things are… coming, things that will need Jon to be far stronger and more willing to use his connection to our patron. His performance during The Unknowing was… disappointing. I needed a way to force him to harness his ability more acutely than he had before. The coffin was a useful tool; Daisy an adequate bait. BASIRA: Then you messed up. Way he tells it, he doesn’t know how he got out of there. ELIAS: But he did. And his powers were no small part of it. Even if he required some assistance, they were what saved him. And he’s still achieved what no one – mortal, monster, or anything in-between – has ever been able to. He climbed out of The Buried. BASIRA: [DRY SIGH] What was the point? You won’t be getting your ritual off from in here so, what do you need him for? What’s so important you need him stronger?

Still squinting very hard about The Bastard and the concept that ~no, he’s not getting his ceremony off from his prison~.

- Amongst all the exchanges, this moment was probably my favourite:

(MAG157) MELANIE: It’s, it’s okay. He’s… welcome. As a friend. But that’s it. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] … Right. MELANIE: But you’re not after a friend, are you, Jon? ARCHIVIST: I need an ally. MELANIE: Then I can’t help you. [SHORT SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] I suppose not…

Because it immediately conveyed that… Jon wasn’t seeking an opinion about whether or not to try to get involved and help Martin – that opinion would have been a “friend’s”. No; at this point, Jon had already decided to go in. And I like that Melanie, of all people, was immediately able to pinpoint that.

- Laughing forever, though, that YESSS, rule of three re:Jon and wlw:

(MAG089) ARCHIVIST: I just… er, you were a friend of Agnes Montague, correct? JUDE: She’s not one of your little stories.

(MAG117) ARCHIVIST: I think Basira is the same, she's coming along to back-up Daisy, or so she says. I–I– I don't quite get those two, I suppose. What they’ve done, seeing what they’ve seen… It’s a hell of a bond.

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: Look, is she here or not? She–she said she was staying with you. GEORGIE: Yes, she’s here. ARCHIVIST: Really? Where’s all her stuff? GEORGIE: Bedroom, why? ARCHIVIST: … No, I just– [STATIC] Oh. Oh! I’m sor– I didn’t– I didn’t realise you were… to–together…

I can’t believe it took Beholding’s powers for him to realise. (Though, to be honest: he knew Melanie&Georgie were friends, Georgie was going on dates with other people in season 3, we don’t know whether Georgie is poly or not, so it wasn’t a given that they had gotten together sometime before this episode.)

- You know things are dire when, in the last few episodes: 1°) even Jon said “fuck”, 2°) Jon knocked on a door, not only once but twice.

(MAG146) [CLICK–] ARCHIVIST: [BREATHING HEAVILY, FRANTICALLY BANGING ON A DOOR] [A DOOR CREAKS OPEN] [DISTORTION SOUNDS, BRINGING CONSTANT STATIC] HELEN: You rang~?

(MAG157) [CLICK–] [FRANTICALLY BANGING ON A DOOR] [A DOOR CREAKS OPEN] [DISTORTION SOUNDS, BRINGING CONSTANT STATIC] ARCHIVIST: Helen…! HELEN: Jonathan~?

(Well. Banged on a door that wasn’t there.) Reminder that there is few knocking around Jon, and he still diiiiid it, times are… what they are.

(- When was the last time that someone called Jon “Jonathan”? I only remember Georgie’s “Jonathan Sims, are you trying to save the world?” from MAG093, and Elias in his first appearance:

(MAG017) ARCHIVIST: A complaint? I could just as easily complain about her wasting my time! ELIAS: That’s not how it works, Jonathan.

Helen had been generally replying to Jon on the same level when it came to names/designations, so was she just playful, or was this a way to point out that “Helen” is technically as formal as “Jonathan”, and not something someone close to Jon would call him? Even Melanie calls him “Jon”. Why “Jonathan” suddenly? Just for the variety?)

- SAD for Jon that his option as “ally” was… Helen, given what we’ve seen of her lately:

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: I need to know that’s in there, what’s at the centre, it’s–it’s important, Martin… I need to know. HELEN: [CONTAINED TITTER] That’s a shame. Because I’m afraid I’m not going to tell you. ARCHIVIST: What…? Why not? HELEN: Because I have a good enough sense of what’s going on to know that it will be much – more – fun – without – my – involvement…! [HELEN LAUGHS AND LAUGHS, ECHOING] […] ARCHIVIST: Just tell me what’s going on – please! HELEN: Bad things, Archivist. [HELEN LAUGHS AND LAUGHS, ECHOING] Really – bad – things!

It sounds like she’s going full Distortion lately, uh? She seemed comparatively so stable and straightforward, in MAG131…

- AHHAHA, Helen had reminded Jon about her sharpness recently:

(MAG152) ARCHIVIST: Huh? You’ve got hands. HELEN: Sharp enough to pull out worms. Kill a few old men. Maybe stab an overeager Archivist… ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] HELEN: But my physicality is as much an illusion as everything else about me. Think of me… as a bear trap. Not a sword.

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: I don’t have time for this! [STATIC] What is at the centr– [SHARP SOUND AS HELEN GRABS HIM BY THE THROAT] HELEN: No. We are not playing your game now. ARCHIVIST: [PAINED SOUNDS] HELEN: Don’t forget how sharp I can be, Archivist. Perhaps here, now, you’re powerful enough to learn what you want from me. But if you try, I promise you I will resist, and only one of us is going to survive the attempt. [SHARPING SOUND, RETREATING]

“Not a sword”, uh.

And we’re back to Jon getting whumped and threatened by everyone. It’s… interesting that Helen felt that Jon’s compulsion was an actual threat – it had annoyed Jude, too, but Helen directly went for the throat (… apparently, it was actually truly the throat in the script, Anil said). Would getting straight answers from The Distortion cause it harm on an essential level, like it potentially happened with Breekon when Jon “extracted” his statement and got to “know” him?

- Also interesting that Jon’s compulsion is apparently getting stronger? You would think that Jon’s powers would begin to crash and burn since he’s quit taking live statements, especially since Helen advised him to get a victim to replenish himself, but nop. Is it still from the power-boost Jon got when he chose not to die? Is it because of the new Fears he experienced over season 4 (Flesh taking ribs out of him, going and getting out of The Buried, staring at the Dark Sun)? Is it because we’re in 2018, and it’s supposed to be kind of a zenith for Beholding given that it’s the Institute’s anniversary…?

- … I was very scared that Jon might have forced a statement out of someone on the way to Georgie’s, but given how Helen invited him to find one right now, doesn’t seem to be the case!

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: Fine. [PANTING] Can you take me there? To the centre? HELEN: I honestly don’t know. But I’m not inclined to risk it. ARCHIVIST: Damn you! HELEN: Run home, Jon. Find a victim on the way~ Chaos is coming, and I think you’d best be ready.

Which is a relief ;;

I’m… super worried about Basira and Daisy, who left Jon absolutely unsupervised, and with Jon proving that he is able to go outside. Melanie is not there anymore either to check on him, and Jon had told Martin juuust a few episodes ago that:

(MAG154) ARCHIVIST: Honestly: thank you. [EXHALE] It’s been hell, but… I–I did need to hear it. MARTIN: Oh, hum… Uh, g–good. Heh. Are the others… helping? ARCHIVIST: Oh! [DRY CHUCKLE] They’ve been keeping a… very close eye on me…!

… but no, it’s really not the case right now ;; And I’m worried again. What’s the point of Jon getting caught and made to stop in the last third of the season…? I still feel like if he makes new innocent victims, then it’s indeed over for him (there would be nothing to differentiate him from other avatars who feed and prey on innocents to stay alive); is his withdrawal a step towards something else…? Or is it to exemplify that there could have been another option, that Jon didn’t hold to it and crashed himself down in the end…?

- From their point of view, I’m REALLY worried that Daisy&Basira left suddenly, leaving Jon unsupervised and alone because… why would they.

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: Am I just hearing what I want to hear? I need a second opinion, but… Basira and Daisy are… “out”, somewhere. They left in a hurry and didn’t tell me why; now, their phones are going to voicemail. Maybe they’re just… on the Underground, and probably th– … That doesn’t help me now. [SIGH]

The way Jon phrased it, it seems like he saw them leaving (it wasn’t that he couldn’t find them or anything), so? Why would they choose to not tell Jon? What could make them leave together, Daisy included, when Daisy was still “weak”? They could be trapped in Helen’s corridors right now (like Tim&Martin at the end of season 2), or in The Lonely because Peter wanted to get Jon absolutely isolated, but I’m still a bit baffled about why they would leave Jon unsupervised and without telling him anything.

1°) Is it that Basira managed to convince Daisy to Hunt again (nooo, Basira, don’t…), and to go after Trevor&Julia… ;; (Or Julia&Trevor were spotted somewhere, and they left to get them with Daisy trying hard not to Hunt.)

2°) Same thing, but with Annabelle Cane?

3°) Maybe they left for the tunnels on their own because something’s happening down there/Basira found something about it in the Archives, and it was really important to not talk about it (because Elias Watching, or The Web having its many eyes on him) and/or because Jon is still an avatar of The Eye…?

4°) Or plainly: they read Adelard’s statement, were the ones who left it on Jon’s desk, and are trying to stop Peter&Martin. … Would still be very stupid, tho, because OF COURSE Jon would panic about it ;; Unless they read it, hid it, and something else pulled it out to get Jon to panic. Could Martin have contacted them about something they need to do without Jon knowing? Basira knew that Martin was planning to go for a self-sacrifice; if it’s tied to this, it could explain why they didn’t tell Jon anything regarding their departure.

5°) … It would still go back in the “but why not tell Jon!!” category, but I’m really worried that there is something very wrong with Elias’s prison right now, hence why they left in a hurry – that either he has disappeared (and/or was “Peter’s map”, so Peter got him out), either the prison is unresponsive and it turns out it has been under Elias’s control for a looong while. He didn’t seem too upset about the prospect of going in MAG120, the Institute was built with strong ties to the Millbank prison (so it’s not an unfamiliar place for The Eye to thrive), and we still don’t know what he’s “eating” (/how come Elias is fine, as an avatar of The Eye, while Jon is suffering so badly from withdrawal? Is Elias himself really under withdrawal?)…

(MAG120) POLICE OFFICER: By all means, mister Bouchard: why don't you have a look in my head, and see exactly what will happen to you when you mess with me. ELIAS: [GRUNT] There will be no need for that, inspector, I’m sure we’ll get along famously. POLICE OFFICER: Good. ELIAS: Best of luck, Martin. Ah, let the others know I shall be thinking of them. MARTIN: [SIGH]

(MAG127) BASIRA: Can we cut the bullshit? ELIAS: What “bullshit” might that be? BASIRA: The part where you pretend you don’t spend your whole time watching us. ELIAS: … Sometimes I’m eating.

+ There is the fact that Elias spent this entire season in prison, and I have trouble picturing him still inside at the beginning of season 5. He’s getting out before that.

- ;; GODS, Jon listening to Martin&Peter’s exchange was so tense and heartbreaking… we knew that Jon had listened to previous tapes, but it was something else to hear his deep breathing, really heavy and conveying how much he was… upset? Worried? Angry about Peter?

(MAG157) [CLICK–] [VERY SHARP SQUEAL OF DISTORTION] MARTIN’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “… Will I be coming back?” PETER’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “You’re not going to die–” ARCHIVIST: [LONG, SHAKY INHALE] PETER’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “–if that’s what you’re asking–” ARCHIVIST: [EXHALE] PETER’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “–but… no. If all goes well, you won’t be.” ARCHIVIST: [DEEP, SHAKY BREATHES] MARTIN’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “[LONG INHALE, EXHALE]” PETER’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “How does that make you feel?” ARCHIVIST: [EXHALE] MARTIN’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “… Nothing.” ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] MARTIN’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “[SNORT]” ARCHIVIST: [LONG EXHALE] MARTIN’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “Nothing at all…!” PETER’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “Excellent. I’m so proud of you, Martin.” MARTIN’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “I really don’t care.” PETER’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “Perfect.” [CLICK.] ARCHIVIST: [LONG INHALE, EXHALE] This… tape was left on my desk.

1°) I was wondering, but Peter’s voice indeed records on tape!

2°) Complete with the squeal of distortions that are his trademark when we’re hearing him live. So it’s indeed something that tampers with the recording a bit, but not to the point of being inaudible.

3°) It was the worst pre- and post-supplemental to hear when it came to Martin… the one when he sounded the most “lost into the Lonely”…………. And he had said he wasn’t sure whether he still cared about ~Jon hearing his voice~ at the start of it…

And at the same time: given how Martin had been so self-aware of being recorded, of Peter being potentially in the room… the question is still open. Elias did acknowledge that Martin was manipulative:

(MAG138) MARTIN: … What? [HUFF] That’s it? No, no monologue, no mindgames? You love manipulating people! ELIAS: That makes two of us. MARTIN: [HUFF]

And was it only about keeping tapes from Jon behind Peter’s back? How much can we trust of what we heard from Martin during season 4? Even Jon had managed to hide that he had attacked people from his recordings; it took Jess’s complaint and Helen calling Jon out for him to admit what he had done. Does Martin truly not “care”, as Peter was glad to hear, or was Martin feeding Peter what he wanted to hear, too…?

(tl;dr Web!Martin is not dead as long as Martin is still alive :|)

(- I'm Still Not Claiming That It’s Romantic On Jon’s Part Until We Get A Very Explicit Confirmation Because I Wanna Raise The Bar Higher, but: Jon… Jon, you big worried bi…

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: [LONG INHALE, EXHALE] This… tape was left on my desk. I don’t know by who, but to my mind there are… three options. Martin has left it here, to let me know that… whatever the situation is with Peter Lukas, it is entering its final act and he needs my help. […] This, uh… this changes things. I–I think. … If Martin found this, r–read it already, then perhaps he’s having… second thoughts about, about Peter and The Extinction, this… this could be a cry for help, his way of asking me to follow him without Peter knowing, or… [EXHALE] Or what? I don’t understand – Martin’s been quite clear he doesn’t want my help…! Am I just hearing what I want to hear? […] I’m sorry, I just… It’s Martin. MELANIE: Jon… don’t… Please. […] ARCHIVIST: I need to know that’s in there, what’s at the centre, it’s–it’s important, Martin… I need to know.

Urk… The fact that he went “Martin” first, before giving Helen a formulation that she probably wanted to hear (=> Jon as an Eye-avatar Wanting To Know…))

(- Last minute Extinction speculation, but I wonder if Adelard’s most important speculation in his last message wasn’t this one:

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “while I have seen evidence of its influence in other Powers, I have never found anything to genuinely prove its emergence as a true Power of its own. Perhaps it is an existential fear that flows through the others like a vein of ore”

… what if, indeed, The Extinction had never been a Fifteenth Power… but a kind of enhancer? Every time Adelard was prone to label an occurrence as an Extinction one, it felt like it was operating on a big scale. What if The Extinction is indeed something new, but mostly boosting good old Fears into something bigger, scarier, more effective – and a few of them, such as the Corruption, would obviously be more compatible than others?)

- There are indeed so many options about who left the tape and the statements, and why:

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: [LONG INHALE, EXHALE] This… tape was left on my desk. I don’t know by who, but to my mind there are… three options. Martin has left it here, to let me know that… whatever the situation is with Peter Lukas, it is entering its final act and he needs my help. Alternatively, Peter may have left it here to… goad me into action? Or just to gloat, to highlight my helplessness and everything. [SIGH] Or Annabelle Cane is trying to manipulate me into thinking it’s one of the other scenarios. Previously, the Spiders have made their presence clear when they’ve sent me… “hints”, but I can’t take that for granted. I don’t know what to do…! [SIGH] There’s a statement with it. It looks pretty recent – hm! First time in a while I’ve been… wary of reading one. … Still. I guess… [LONG INHALE, EXHALE] [PAPER RUSTLING] […] This, uh… this changes things. I–I think. … If Martin found this, r–read it already, then perhaps he’s having… second thoughts about, about Peter and The Extinction, this… this could be a cry for help, his way of asking me to follow him without Peter knowing, or… [EXHALE] Or what? I don’t understand – Martin’s been quite clear he doesn’t want my help…! Am I just hearing what I want to hear? I need a second opinion, but…

1°) But Jon casually ignored the fact that the statement was a last message, sent to an Archivist, to say goodbye, and that… that could have been what Martin was aiming at. (I’m not really digging that Martin would have done that without leaving a message on his own, though; even if he were to stop caring about Jon, he would still keep in mind that Jon would be prone to doing drastic things to try to save people, or to run into danger. He got a whole discussion with Daisy about it in MAG142, and asked Basira not to tell Jon that he wasn’t planning on coming back just a few episodes ago.)

2°) The tape and the statement have been left by different persons/things, and had different purposes, and/or one of the factions could have subtilized something else to prevent Jon to connecting dots.

3°) A big question is also who was aware of Adelard’s last message (and of his death). I lost my bet that Peter had killed him, but still: it’s extremely suspicious that Peter never mentioned in front of Martin the possibility of getting Adelard’s own help… so he must have known it wasn’t an option. We never heard Martin questioning about it, so… Martin might have found out, or guessed about it, too.

4°) Adelard’s message was explicitly an email:

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “You must forgive me, Gertrude, for any typing and spelling errors that might be in this message. […] But it did not seem quite right to leave without letting you know what happened. And… Herr [Becker?] was kind enough to succumb to the sickness without signing out of his computer, so…”

… And Peter’s not good with computers:

(MAG126) PETER: Anyway, I’m very excited to see this rota you’ve put together. Never had much of a gift for– MARTIN: Okay. PETER: –administration myself; too many variables. Now, this box on the left, that’s the library stuff, yes? MARTIN: What? N–n–no, th–th–that’s, no, those are the dates, I– … Look, are you sure you don’t want me to teach you? It’s, it’s a very simple program– PETER: No. No. Can’t stand computers. Besides! That’s why I have an assistant, isn’t it? MARTIN: [SIGH] Yeah. I guess so.

Unlike Annabelle (who was very interest in the www in MAG123), and unlike Martin. Who printed it out? Gertrude? Or someone else, very recently?

- ;; Is next week Jon trying to reach the centre of the tunnels already (and unknowingly being Peter’s map, being tracked when thinking he was tracking Peter&Martin?), using or not using Leitner’s supernatural copy of The Seven Lamps of Architecture, or going to ask Elias for help because he’s desperate………………… I don’t see many more options for Jon at this point… There is still the Threat of Jon’s inner door looming here:

(MAG127) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] It’s… hard. It’s like there’s a–a–a door, in my mind. And behind it, is… i–is the entire ocean. Before, I didn’t notice it, but now, I know it’s there, and I can’t forget it, and I can feel the pressure of the water on it. I, I, I can keep it closed… but sometimes, when I’m around p–people, or–or places, or… ideas, a drop or two will push through the cracks, at the edges of the door. And I’ll… know something. BASIRA: … What happens, if you open the door? [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: I drown.

… and I’m dreading that yes, he would try to open it to find the centre, in order to find Martin… ;; (And that there is actually no centre; only Jon, with his sea of knowledge, in the middle, thus precipitating the bad things Helen was cackling about.)

- As usual: what are Elias/Annabelle/Peter’s plans and aims, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgggg

(- Hi, guess who was there at every 38th episode of a season so far:

(MAG038) ARCHIVIST: Urgh. Urgh. [SOUND OF CHAIR SCRAPING] I see you… [THUMP… THEN SOUND OF COLLAPSING SHELVES] [NOISES OF EXCLAMATION] [DOOR OPENS] SASHA: Alright? ARCHIVIST: Ah… Yeah. A… spider. SASHA: A spider? ARCHIVIST: Yeah. I tried to kill it… the shelf collapsed. SASHA: I swear, cheap shelves are… Did you get it? ARCHIVIST: Ah… I hope so. Thinks so. Nasty, bulbous looking thing. SASHA: [CHUCKLES] Well, I won’t tell Martin. ARCHIVIST: Oh, god. I don’t think I could stand another lecture on their importance to the ecosystem.

(MAG078) ARCHIVIST: [WHISPERED] It is remarkably easy to buy an axe in Central London. Harder to sneak it into Artefact Storage but not impossible. I don’t know if destroying this is going to kill that thing… but I am damn sure it’s going to hurt. […] Hollow. Just cobwebs and dust.

(MAG118) DAISY: Shut. Up. BASIRA: It’s just cobwebs. ARCHIVIST: There’s no such thing as just cobwebs! I don’t like it. TIM: Tough.

MmMMmmmMMmmmMMMmm.)

Title for MAG158 is… ouft. F–finally, I guess?

So, hum. Beholding, I guess? (It would be the 5th one this season if we count MAG138 as mostly Eye’s… ;;) And probably tunnels stuff. Depending on how the groups are split, could be Peter&Martin, Basira&Daisy&Elias or Elias&Jon, I guess… I’m mostly expecting no statement and a two-part climax like in season 3, but if there is a statement, I guess it could be read/told by Elias, whether alone or ~in company~ (a letter to/from Jonah Magnus? Another thing from Smirke’s earliest days? Something related to [the title itself]?).

Regarding the… less concrete aspect of the title, it… could be either about Elias (is he really confined.), either about Jon and his powers, I guess……………… could be Jon opening his ~inner door~ to try to find Martin/the centre of the maze, too……………….

[astro-b-o-y-d]

Season 4, Episode 3

You know what? I grew up with Billy and Mandy, I can handle some gross-out humor. Bring it on.

Though...I think there’s a typo in the title? Unless that was intentional.

“David had to take Campbell to his probation officer-” Aww, no David in a swimsuit? D:

...Alright, I’m fine with no David because LOOK AT HER !!!!

Also of course Max isn’t interested in swimming. 

...Alright, I understand their concern, but it’s a big lake. It’s not like it’s a pool. Then again, a pool has filters and the lake is already pretty filthy.

That being said, this was the last episode I expected to be the Detective Max-A-Chu episode, but I’m excited nonetheless.

Watch it be like....the platypus or someone no one expects.

Awwwwww, they kept the consistency of SK not being able to swim, and also said David had been giving him lessons ;; What a good camp dad.

Aww poor Harrison :(

...Capri Moon. God, I love this show. Also Capri Moon is such a cool name for a drink and it has awesome packaging. Wolves are neat.

Nikki hanging out with Ered :’) L...Lesbena......

“Heyyyyy buddy, whatcha got there, evidence?” .....You said that real suspect, Neil.

...Okay, so I wasn’t going to say anything for fear of jinxing myself, but for the last three episodes, they’ve been.....REALLY good with Dolph’s characterization. Unless something went over my head (which is very likely, I am but a simple goy who might miss something), I...haven’t seen any sort of H*tler-related jokes about him. The Eiffel Tower he printed in the last episode could’ve been one, but I didn’t really get it if that was the case.

Have they finally ditched that part of his character and just made him a weird German kid? I’ll still remain on guard about him, but I’m feeling hopeful.

Neil did it. Either Neil did it or they ALL did it and aren’t saying a thing.

“It’s a BITCH to put on!” Okay, Preston’s VA is doing an AMAZING job this episode. Not that he doesn’t always, but every line is hysterical. You’re finally working your way into my heart, you odd little theater child.

Aww poor Neil :(

Heh, I love how much of Nikki looking up to/wanting to protect Ered Leigh wrote in this episode.

YEP I CALLED THAT THEY ALL DID IT. Also eww.

OH WOW...MAX CAN’T SWIM...Now THAT’S a twist. Also a friend of mine were talking about the possibility of a camper that couldn’t swim yesterday and we both said Max and Space Kid, so WE CALLED THAT.

(*That’s So Raven* theme here because @more-camp-camp-fic-please and I are psychics)

And of course they will take the secret to their graves.

Honestly, despite the gross out aspect, that was actually a fun mystery episode. Completely silly, but there was a lot of nice interactions between Max and the other kids. Also I’m especially surprised that David wasn’t in the episode at all. Was that the first or second time, because I swear there was another episode without him? I don’t know.

This review was shorter than most, but tbh, despite not having too much to say about the episode, I thought it was fun! And it’s the beach day I’d absolutely expect from Camp Campbell.

[whitestonetherapy]

Psychosis... (1.8.19)

A few weeks ago I attended a training day run by the International Society for Psychological and Social approaches to Psychosis (ISPS).  

Professor John Read from the University of East London gave a talk on the causes and treatment of psychosis.

There certainly is a difference of opinion as to whether psychosocial or biological factors play the largest part in causing psychosis.  Is psychosis triggered by environmental factors?  Or should treatment be seen entirely as a medical issue requiring psychiatrist prescriptions and pills? I think it's fair to say John seemed pretty cynical about the latter...

The DSM-5 Manual tells us that the key features of psychotic disorders include: delusions, hallucinations, thought disorders (disorganisation etc), Catatonia, disorganized motor behaviour, other 'negative symptoms' (e.g diminished emotional expression).  For a diagnosis often only one or two criterion need to be present.  This means, says John, that categorisations (and diagnoses) are actually pretty scientifically meaningless.  We could fill a room with people given the same diagnosis whose personal experience differ wildly.  Some people may have one symptom but not others, and others have different symptoms altogether - yet we call it the same thing.  (aside:- I'm pretty sympathetic to this more generally.  I've met a lot of people who share a diagnosis - various disorders - whose experiences and symptoms seem to be completely different.)  

A bit of context and history is needed to understand how we arrived here. Outside of our own culture, hearing voices is often accepted as an ordinary part of life (ancestors talking to you etc). In some cultures significant value and meaning is attributed to being able to hear voices.  But in western society it was (and still is) increasing assumed that hearing of voices has no meaning and needs urgent correction.  

The German doctor Emil Kraepelin (1856-1926) was the first person to define schizophrenia, and he attributed the symptoms entirely to biology - a genetic malfunction.  The definition was refined by Paul Bleuler in 1908, but the fundamental belief remained that psychosis was an organic illness that could be inherited.  Although psychotic disorders (along with other mental health disorders) have often been framed this way all throughout the 20th century, the public seem to feel quite differently about it.

Studies have regularly shown that people believe it is psychosocial factors - rather than inherited biology - that are the main cause of mental health problems.  And those with a psychosis-related diagnosis feel this even more strongly.  In a study by Murray & Dean (2008), 97% of respondents with a diagnosis rejected the 'medical model' explanation of their experience (biology) and instead placed importance on psychosocial factors.  That's a huge percentage, and John pointed out that  elements of the psychiatry profession sought to dismiss this finding as due to 'a lack of insight' on the part of respondents. Their response was pathologised as evidence of 'anosognosia'!

In fact, a study carried out in 2004 (Kingdon et at.) found that of 2813 psychiatrists surveyed,  50.8% considered causation of schizophrenia to be exclusively biological, more than the 48.6% who felt this is a balance between biology and social factors.  Only a tiny percentage felt causation was down to psychosocial factors only.  

So we see a real divergence between how people with a diagnosis actually feel about their condition, and the views of psychiatrists.

Despite the view held by professionals that schizophrenia is biological, studies trying to identify the genes responsible have so far drawn a blank .  Steven Hamilton ran a meta-study in 2008 found no statistical significance (save what would be expected by chance) that any suspected genes are responsible for development of psychosis.  There does not appear to be a schizophrenia gene.  

On the other hand...there is a lot of evidence showing that other psychosocial factors are correlated with developing psychosis.  Eaton (1980) established through research that poverty is the strongest predictor for the development of schizophrenia (with deprived children 7 times more likely to get a diagnosis).  

The link between economic factors and mental illness is established in research (Wilkinson & Pickett, 2009), and John Read himself wrote a paper on the link between socio-economic status and schizophrenia (2011).

Another strong predictor is ethnicity.  Ethnic minorities living in any country are far more likely to develop a psychotic condition and receive a diagnosis.  A Study by Fearon et. al. (2006) found that black Afro-Caribbeans living in the UK were 9 times more likely to develop schizophrenia or experience psychosis.  

Other causal factors identified by research include:  broken attachments (loss of a parent etc) - one study shows those whose mother is not present are 2 to 3 times more likely to experience psychosis.  Abuse (physical / emotional) is a strong indicator, where one study showed victims of abuse 18 times more likely to develop psychosis (Shevlin et. al, 2007).  Child abuse is a really pronounced predictor. Neglect, bullying and other environmental factors are all more likely to be present in the lives of those who  experience psychosis.  This doesn't necessarily establish causation but does show that many of these factors are present in the personal histories of those experiencing psychosis.

What about the implications of this for treatment?  With 95% of those diagnosed with psychosis given medicine straight away, John Read argued we should be using medicine as a last - not first - resort.  He believes talking-therapies should be given primacy. He pointed to the Cochrane review of the drug Risperidone (2010), in which it was shown to have little more effect than a placebo.  With a set of side-effects including reduced brain size and a shorter life span I found that quite shocking to hear....  Other side effects are not great day-to-day either:  drowsiness, loss of motivation, slow thoughts, difficulty concentrating etc.  I wouldn't go as far as John, but it's important that his research is not drowned out by the pharmaceutical companies who make the drugs.

Alarmingly, of the top 50 websites on schizophrenia (based on search engine results), 58% were found to have received funding from drug companies (Read, 2008).  It's important to be aware there are vested interests at play here....  And these websites (surprise surprise) do emphasise a biological/medical model for understanding schizophrenia. John also makes the point that many psychiatric journals are funded by drug companies.  

In terms of treatment: John argued that a medical / pill-focused model is insufficient to address the social and environmental factors that are often present for those with a diagnosis. I wrote in my post Integration... (1.7.19)  that there are many ways that talking-therapies can approach a complex situation.  Personal histories including difficulties such as the ones I outlined above can be approached in a lot of ways by therapists.  To name just a few a psychotherapist might choose between approaches like: cognitive, psychodynamic, focusing on dissociation, traumagenic neurodevelopmental, attachment-based etc.  All offer a way of working with someone - a way of conceptualising their world.

What I really took from this is the key, simple point:  the brain responds to the environment, therefore environmental changes can also change the brain.  What use would you brain be if it didn't do this?  

Therefore we should focus even more on what we know 'works' in talking-therapy.  This might include CBT to help with symptom management, and this has been shown to be very effective.  But longer term therapy focusing on quality, sustained relationships are also really important - just as they would be for any group of people with complex lives.

www.whitestonetherapy.com

[asterinjapan]

Back in time

Good evening, this time from the train from Osaka to Okayama! It's a little past 8:30 pm now, and since I'll have to get up early tomorrow for my trip to Tokyo, I'll be typing most of today's report on my phone. Just a heads up in case you spot any weird typoes, haha.

Anyway! Today was indeed a busy day, although very much fun in a lot of senses. You see, today I was meeting up with a friend to go to Universal Studios Japan, and then to a concert by KOKIA, my absolute favourite artist. So that's 3 great things in one sentence already, haha.

I'll be splitting the report so that one half just concerns the concert, because I tend to do very detailed reports on those. Seeing KOKIA live is such a treat, I don't want to forget a single detail! So below follows the report on the rest of the day.

I had to get up early to catch my train, so of course I woke up wayyyy to early at 4 am, pff. I went right back to sleep and woke up a little before my 6 am alarm, which was still too early, because breakfast starts at 6:30, haha. Oh well, plenty of time to get dressed in peace!

After breakfast, I made my way to the station to catch the shinkansen to Shin-Osaka station. The train goes past Himeji, though sadly I wasn't in a good position to take a picture of the castle. I did however notice that you can see Okayama castle from the train as well, be it from quite the distance. The views weren't really superb today, which was to be expected, since there was rain forecasted for pretty much the entire country. Oh well, not much I can do about that but take an umbrella, haha.

The trip was smooth and I met up with my friend at the station. We were going to Osaka station from here, a mere 5 minute ride, but it was quite tricky to even make it through the shinkansen gates. It was really busy for some reason, though they had just announced a train further south had stopped running due to heavy rains. Uh oh... but so far so good in Osaka, no rain yet and we eventually made it to Osaka station and from there, 2 quick trains bound for Universal Studios Japan!

We first caught up a little over drinks, with matcha latte for me of course, before we made it to the park entrance and got tickets. Since it was a Saturday I suspected it would be busy and we'd need to draw a number for the Harry Potter part of the park, but apparently the weather forecast worked in our favour, because there were no numbers needed to enter today. Yaaay! I went to Universal 4 years ago as well and mostly spent my day in the Harry Potter part, haha, so I wasn't complaining about starting here. Actually, this part of the park only has two rides proper and they're both a bit wild for us, but just looking around here is an attraction in itself. I got all nostalgic over the music and the scenes, and after shop browsing for a while and having our picture taken in front of the Hogwarts Express, we went into the wand shop to experience some magic happening as a random audience member was picked to be chosen by a wand. Sadly this wasn't me, haha, although I have a great wand at home I bought here last time. It was a fun little show (this time Ollivander spoke both very good English and Japanese, haha), after which we ended up in the wand shop, but we passed through it in favour of the castle.

You can go into Hogwarts castle for a pretty intense adventure (I did it back in 2015, my stomach wasn't very happy), or you can choose to take a stroll inside and look up on awe at all the amazing detail they put on here, haha. We opted for the latter, and I definitely made use of the invitation to take pictures by going wild with my current camera. Much better quality! Ah, I love this camera so. The castle has a ton of talking and moving paintings as well as some projections and a ton of replicas from the movies. Aside maybe from the last bit, where we first had to wait for a while for unknown reasons and then were rushed through, it was really great.

Once outside, we spotted some performers coming out dressed like the students from the wizarding schools Beauxbatons and Durmstrang from the fourth book/movie, so we stayed to watch. I think i read somewhere that this was a limited time show, and they were really good, very athletic. (I'm personally not a big fan of the movie approach of "the French students are only girls who dance pretty dainty ballet and the vaguely Russian students are only manly guys who grunt and stomp with sticks", but hey, that says nothing about the performers here! And the costumes were lovely. )

After some more shop browsing, we were in for a surprise once we were outside: the sun was shining bright! Absolutely not according to the forecasts, absolutely not complaining, haha. I took some very pretty pictures of the castle if I do say so myself, and then we went for lunch here. The salad served at the Three Broomsticks was pretty big, plenty enough to share. After this and of course some butterbeer (non-alcoholic), we left the wizarding world behind us and moved into the rest of the park.

This mostly ended in sightseeing, since the rows were too long to consider queuing up with the concert time getting closer, but that was a lot of fun too. They put in so much detail, and since it is almost Halloween, a lot of people had come dressed up.They do in the Disney parks too, but Disney has pretty strict rules about which characters you're allowed to dress up as, while here it seems to be "anything goes". I saw a guy dressed up as a piece of corn, quite some elaborate costume dress ups, a surprising amount of guys in Sailor Moon outfits, a lot of fancy gothic dress up, and a surprising number of uh, nuns. Alright! And of course, there was the usual mix with outfits from the Harry Potter part and uh, Minions. They have their own spot here.

We also went into the Jurassic park area, which was closed for maintenance last time, although sadly we didn't see a lot of dinosaurs roaming around. There was a scarily realistic Velociraptor animatronic inside the gift shop though! (I think it might have been Blue? Look, I only saw Jurassic World once.) But well, I still love dinosaurs, so this was still cool, haha.

Once we were getting closer to the time of the concert, we went back to the station to catch the train to Osaka station. Luckily the concert venue was very close and actually within the same building in which they have the big Broadway musicals here, currently the little mermaid. It was the lion king last time I went here and got lost at Osaka station, haha. (That station is like 5 different stations all connected, so it's a bit of a maze.) We got seated, got ourselves a drink (it's kinda like a jazz bar here, so you sit at a table and you can order food and drinks), made a quick trip to the merchandise shop, and then sat back to enjoy the performance.

I'll save those details for my next post, haha, but rest assured I had a great time. KOKIA had two performances tonight, so it was a little shorter than a big hall concert, but she did make time for an autograph session! Naturally we queued up with our newly purchased albums, haha.

Ah, such a good time! It was around dinner time now, so my friend introduced me to akashiyaki, which is "sort of takoyaki, except not", haha. Akashi is a city in the nearby Hyogo prefecture, and these are dumplings made of egg rich batter and octopus you need to dump into thin fish broth before eating (thank you, wikipedia). Although takoyaki, also balls with octopus, is more popular and better known, akashiyaki apparently came first. It was really yummy! We shared akashiyaki and then had a takoyaki gratin, which sounded kinda odd, but ended up being delicious as well. We eventually had some desserts at a nearby tea shop that sold SO MANY matcha things, I nearly had a crisis deciding until I opted for the matcha roll cake, incidentally the best roll cake I've ever had.

It was time to part ways with the promise of reunion, and I made it to Shin-Osaka alone. Familiar territory after last year, haha. I caught a shinkansen for Okayama and I have just arrived in my hotel safe and sound, very tired but very pleased.

Tomorrow will be tiring without a doubt, as I'll be in a train for 4.5 hours straight (I did this to myself, I know). But then I'll be in Ikebukuro, Tokyo, my home away from home at this point, haha. I guess I'll ditch my things at the hotel and then rush to Shibuya for my favourite little shrine there, because I must owe some deity something for how lucky I've been so far. Did I mention it was dry the whole time we were outside? Yeah.

I love Tokyo, so I'm very excited about going back there, but it also means saying goodbye to Okayama and entering my last week already. Time really flies, huh...

Well, stay tuned for pictures and the concert review while I go pack my suitcase (the title will make sense after that review, haha, although Harry Potter and dinosaurs are both things I grew up with) and then see you tomorrow from Tokyo!

[thegrimmsisters]

The Unusual Suspects Ch 8-10 and Overall Thoughts

Here it is! The long awaited (seriously, thanks for your patience) end of the review of the second book. Spoiler alert, MB gets rid of a LOT of things I REALLY LOVED 

Chapter Eight:

The opening paragraphs of the chapter are completely different. It’s much shorter than the original. Granny no longer says she would be a rich old lady if she could bottle Elvis’s energy.

There’s a funny but where Wendell is at the bottom of the bunny pile and he says he won’t come out because they’re going to “send him up the river” This is a good old reference to Sing Sing prison in upstate New York that the History buff in me really liked.

Wendell also says he’s “not great at fisticuffs” and Daphne asks him what that is.

Wendell also calls Snow a “dame” and says she “fights pretty well for a dame” but Granny calls him out for this which I liked.

Hamlin no longer says that he and Wendell’s mother have been worried, just Hamlin. Is MB implying that his mother is not in the picture?

When they bring Wendell back, Hamlin says “Thanks again, Relda. I owe your family a debt I have no idea how to repay.” To which Puck replies “We accept cash!”

In the first edition Puck asks Hamlin how many rats there were, and he replies “Thousands.” It’s one of my favorite interactions from this book and I’m sad to say it’s gone.

The bit about Granny cleaning when she’s angry is gone.

When they go through the Hall of Wonders again and Sabrina is reading the door plaques, there is a new one called “sleeping potions”

Daphne asks Mirror how far the Hall of Wonders goes and what is at the end of it. He replies “Something you don’t want to mess around with child”

For some reason he compares the old boiler to “a monstrous robot in a Japanese cartoon”?? Weird comparison but okay

Puck calls Wendell a rabbit boy instead of Piggy. This goes along with other earlier changes to rid the book of blatant fat shaming.

Sabrina and Daphne have some serious PTSD. When Hamlin walks through the door this is the passage: “Through the door walked a man who seemed as tall as the giant Sabrina and Daphne had encountered when they first moved to Ferryport Landing and for a moment the girls were lost in the memory of fighting it in the woods.” I really like this addition because it shows that what happens to them has weight that carries through the books, it matters.

Sabrina attempts to talk Wendell out of following Hamlin down the stairs. She argues that he might not want to know what his dad is involved with and that this is not one of his crime movies, this is real life. He may not like what they find.

The conversation Hamlin has with Rumpelstiltskin in the tunnels is slightly different. Rumple wants to talk to Wendell and Hamlin says no.

Chapter Nine:

A teacher no longer faints at the sight of the giant mouse.

Granny confiscates Sabrina’s keys. I think this was simply implied in the original as I couldn’t find a direct mention of it.

Sabrina refers to Rumpelstiltskin as “the child buying weirdo”

Sabrina mentions that they have been in Ferryport Landing for a month. This is helpful for time keeping purposes because sometimes its reaaaallly hard to figure out how long this series actually is.

The bit about Henry keeping fairy tales from the girls is completely gone. I believe this happened in the new edition of the first book too.

The dialogue where they learn about Rumpelstiltskin is different. Previously, Snow said they are digging to the barrier because Baba Yaga’s spell isn’t as strong underground. In the new version, Snow asks what the point of tunnels would be. Daphne says they are digging to the barrier and it’s Sabrina who guesses the magic wouldn’t be as strong underground.

Basil’s map and journal entry are completely gone.

Also, they don’t talk about Bannerman Island AT ALL. They talk about the chance it would flood the tunnels but the island being the thing they are digging to is completely gone which is sad because I know we as a fandom enjoyed that.

In the original edition, Puck suggests they are using rats to dig the tunnels and Sabrina yells “That’s stupid!” and Puck replies “You’re stupid!” The whole exchange is flipped now, with Sabrina suggesting it’s rats.

Daphne gets Snow’s previous line about “maybe they aren’t using rats.”

Instead of Snow telling them the story of the Pied Piper, they read it out of Grimm’s Fairytales. The dialogue and explanation are literally exactly the same, except it still reads so it sounds like Snow is talking rather than it being read from a book. The language is too casual for a book. It was not a good change and not enough was done to make it work.

Chapter ten:

Overall dialogue and action are moved around in this chapter.

Bella gets Toby’s previous line, “Duh! I’m evil!” but Sabrina now argues back and says “No you’re not! You’re being manipulated by Rumpelstiltskin! He’s toying with your emotions and making you do these terrible things!”

In the first edition Rumpelstiltskin says that him and Hamlin were about ready to give up because the kids were too tired to have high emotions. This line is gone now.

When Rumpelstiltskin is talking about Sabrina’s anger he now adds “…all the paranoia and prejudice that run through you, all the self-doubt, and, of course, the indignant rage about what has happened to you in your short life, well, it was delicious.”

Rumpelstiltskin says “certain things have to be done to please the Master” Correct me if I’m wrong but this is the first time the Master is mentioned. Sabrina responds with “who’s the Master??” Like she hadn’t heard of him before.

When Sabrina confronts the children about Rumpelstiltskin stealing them from their parents, her speech is much longer now and she says “he plays with a person’s feelings to make them o things they wouldn’t normally, he did it to me. I’ve said terribly things since I met him, things I don’t feel or believe.”

When Hamlin things Wendell is dead, he legitimately almost murders Rumpelstiltskin with an axe before Granny stops him.

When the Wolf comes out, one of my favorite lines of the ENTIRE series is changed. Originally when Puck confronts him, the Wolf says “Trickster, love will be the end of you.” To which Puck sputters and bushes and says, “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

Now, the Wolf says: “Trickster, you have the disgusting smell of love on you, it will be your end.” Puck doesn’t respond except to say, “I didn’t know dogs spoke in riddles.” I miss the original.

Sabrina no longer says “Sick ‘em boy” to the Wolf.

Charming tells Sabrina to use one the Match Girl’s matches to get them out of the cave, when originally it is Sabrina’s idea.

Sabrina actually says she won’t leave the cave because the whole thing is her fault. Granny reassures her she’s not responsible for this.

They don’t mention Mr. Canis being dead AT ALL. Like it’s completely gone. I’m interested to see how they do the next book without that in there.

The scene with Red has some dialogue and action switched around but nothing substantial.

Overall feelings: 

MB gets rid of a lot of substantial things in the books, including key scenes with Mirror, Basil’s journal entry and map, and lines that were beloved by the fandom. I think he’s just creating more problems for himself so I’m interested to see how he’s going to handle book three. 

Now, I love books three and four so the next two books should go really fast. Other than a few scenes in books one and two, I don’t love these two books even in their original form So, I’m really sorry but that is partially to blame for me taking so long. 

On to The Problem Child!!

[cindylouwho-2]

RECENT NEWS, RESOURCES & STUDIES, September 2019

Welcome to my latest summary of recent news, resources & studies including search, analytics, content marketing, social media & ecommerce! This covers articles I came across in the past 5 weeks, although some may be older than that.

I am still working on scheduling enough time to post these every 10 days or so, but lately luck is just not on my side. Writing this elsewhere then cutting & pasting it here is creating some significant formatting issues, so if you find any errors or broken links, please let me know. 

Are there types of news you would like to see here?  Leave a comment below, email me through my website, or send me a message on Twitter.

TOP NEWS & ARTICLES 

Etsy introduced Etsy Ads at the end of August; I covered it on my blog. Some people are seeing decent returns, but many are not. I started a forum thread here for continuing discussion. 

A day later, Amazon announced it has waived their $40 a month shop fee for Handmade by Amazon shops. See the pinned post on their Facebook page. 

A large study of click-through-rates (CTR) on Google reveals that the top link gets over 30% of the clicks, titles with questions get 14% more clicks than those without, and moving up one slot in the results leads to more clicks, unless you move from 10th to 9th. They cite Etsy’s study of titles & CTR (which showed that shorter titles get more clicks, something that this study also found).

Trend watch: a suggestion that Americans can avoid most of the tariff pain in the pocketbook by buying used clothing & other items. “Secondhand and vintage is no longer synonymous with a dusty pile of outdated sweaters in the corner of a church basement, or a yearly rummage sale. Online resale, including high-end designer items, is booming, thanks to start-ups like The RealReal, Depop, Poshmark, eBay, and Etsy. It’s possible to fill your entire closet this way”. Pre-owned & rented clothing also makes fans of sustainability happy. 

Also, “grandmillennials” are a thing. 

ETSY NEWS 

Etsy US searches often now have a full first page of items that ship free or have the $35 free shipping guarantee, as of September 6 (although they were testing it earlier than that.) I was seeing the rare exception, beyond searches that have fewer than 48 items shipping free, but it wasn’t clear if these are tests or personalization. Then on September 21, we started seeing many items with shipping charges on the first page of even very large results, & most smaller results didn’t give much if any priority to free shipping at all. There has been no statement from Etsy, so your guess is as good as mine ...

In the meantime, they’ve begun promoting free shipping to buyers, which has led to some media coverage. Some note that the timing is good, since most US holiday purchases online in the past several years have included free shipping. 

There is a new chapter in the Ultimate Guide To Etsy Search, involving attributes. The accompanying podcast with Etsy’s head taxonomist [transcript with links to the podcast] is quite interesting. She says that one of the reasons that some attributes haven’t shown up yet as search filters is that not enough sellers have applied them to listings. “If we have 100,000 items in the search results and a buyer uses a filter, and that filter causes the results to return just 20 items, that makes it seem broken. The buyer no longer trusts the results. If only 20% of sellers fill out an attribute, showing a filter based on that attribute to buyers isn’t going to be helpful because such a drastic reduction in results makes them lose confidence in those search results. We have to wait until a large number of sellers fill out that data to show it to buyers as a filter. When we do, sellers who have filled out that attribute show in those filtered search results. Sellers who haven’t, don’t.” Also, “[w]e know that shoppers who interact with these filters tend to buy more expensive items.” And, there aren’t separate jewellery attributes for “gold”, “gold-filled” & “gold-plated” because “[m]any jewelry buyers don’t have your experience and don’t know the huge difference between these things.”

The new commercials were launched earlier this month; you can check them all out here, and here is some media coverage. Some analysts think this is a good thing for the stock. 

Vox published  a review of Etsy’s latest free shipping push, in contrast with its history. [I am sure most of you have seen that, but if not, it is a good read!] “Silverman doesn’t like the words “handmade” or “craft” because they “don’t communicate anything to buyers about when to think of Etsy.” he says now. Nobody wakes up thinking, “Gosh, I need to buy something handmade today,” he tells me, which may be true but I rarely wake up thinking I need to buy anything at all, and more commonly wake up in horror because I’ve already bought way too much. “You need to furnish your apartment. You need to prepare for a party. You need to find a gift for a friend. You need a dress. Handmade is not the value proposition — unique, personalized, expresses your sense of identity, those are things that speak to buyers.” [emphasis added]  Also, apparently Etsy founder Rob Kalin “didn’t know what seed funding was when he took it”  😮

The new tool for creating country-specific sales is finally out. You still can’t create the equivalent of the $35 free shipping guarantee for countries other than the US, however, which makes this pretty useless for people wanting to offer free shipping in the US and to their own country. The only way to come close is to set a 30 day free shipping sale to your own country, but it won’t show up in search (unless people filter for free shipping) or get the Canadian search boost for items that ship free, and you still need to renew it every 30 days. In short, Etsy is telling us to overcharge our customers in other countries with no way to offer them the same deals Americans are getting.

Sellers can now use Etsy Labels for USPS First Class letters & flats. 

Holiday tips continue to roll out: here are some ideas for running holiday sales and promotions on Etsy.

Advanced content on machine learning: Etsy is employing its data on styles to serve up personalized recommendations, including the “Our Picks for You” section on the home page. The purchase and favouriting rates are part of what gets shown. They’ve discovered that some styles are more popular are different times of the year. 

For those of you who think Etsy doesn’t spend enough on advertising, they are actually buying spots on tv shows now, including this Las Vegas morning show. [video]

SEO: GOOGLE & OTHER SEARCH ENGINES 

Sad to report that Keywords Everywhere is becoming a paid tool starting October 1st (although it may take longer to roll out to your account). https://keywordseverywhere.com/news.html  They need to do this because they were being scraped by bots, which was affecting user experience & costing them a lot of time and money.  Fortunately, it is still going to be very cheap - 10,000 keywords for $1 USD, purchased ahead of time as credits. They say that the average user will spend less than $2 a month, & I suspect that the average Etsy user will spend less. Once your account moves to a paid one, you will no longer see the search volume, cost per click & competition numbers under search terms until you buy credits, although the "related keywords" & "people also search" sections will still show up on the right side of Google search.  I usually do not recommend any paid tools, but I do think this will still be worth every penny, especially if you remember to turn it off when shopping instead of researching! Every comparable paid tool costs way more than this. And despite the rush of attention since their announcement, I still received a personal reply to my email within 24 hours. 

You know how I always talk about nofollow links? They still exist, but Google has expanded their link attribution codes to include “sponsored” &  "ugc" (user generated content), and all might be crawled at any point after March 1, 2020. Moz did a top level explanation, and here is Google’s (shorter) summary. But it may not really matter much to the average site. 

Want to rank well on Google and other search engines? Create “complete content.”  

A followup on last edition’s discussion of canonical URLs - Google gets the final say. [video]

Google is now releasing monthly videos of their search news; first one is here. 

Some of you will remember Moz’s Whiteboard Friday series on learning SEO in one hour. They’ve now compiled all 6 videos in one place. 

And if you want to learn the basics of link building quickly, Moz has a short version of that chapter from their Beginner’s Guide to SEO. 

If you are afraid you are missing some SEO rules on your top pages, check out this complete checklist for on-page SEO. 

There are tons of SEO tools for Wordpress; here are 15 of the best. 

Many people will find your blog through search engines, so make sure you use keywords in your blog posts. 

If you have a website, check out 16 things that can harm your search engine rankings [semi-advanced in part, some points are discussing coding]

Success on YouTube involves SEO, something I find many users forget.

Mostly advanced: reminder that as of September 1, you can’t use robots.txt to tell Google not to index pages or sites. 

Advanced content for website developers: you need to make sure the site is ready for SEO work. 

There are always more Google updates; this one is still rolling out, and was confirmed by Google, but very few details were given. Sistrix did the first comprehensive analysis, although it is still early, and health and media sites seem to be the most dramatically affected. 

CONTENT MARKETING & SOCIAL MEDIA (includes blogging & emails) 

Marketing emails need to be carefully designed for success. Everything from the layout to the “preheader” matters. 

If you have content on one medium that is doing well for you, it’s time to “repurpose” it for different platforms. 

Infographics are very popular in content marketing; here’s how to make one, with 15 free templates.

Some Instagram posts do better than others; here’s why. Among other study findings, “smaller profiles which use more hashtags actually do see better engagement rates per post.”

If you aren’t getting much interaction on Instagram, you could be “shadowbanned.” There are ways to avoid that happening, and ways to fix it when it does. 

“Content factories” are a big part of Instagram traffic. Maybe Facebook should crack down on this? 

Pinterest is combining image recognition visual search with Shoppable Pins. 

Facebook is considering hiding the like counts on News Feed posts, as Instagram is testing in 7 countries right now. “The idea is to prevent users from destructively comparing themselves to others and possibly feeling inadequate if their posts don’t get as many Likes. It could also stop users from deleting posts they think aren’t getting enough Likes or not sharing in the first place.”

Video app TikTok can be confusing, so here is a step-by-step guide for beginners. And here’s a podcast [with text] on the basics. 

Twitter chats are a great way to attract interest in your business.

ONLINE ADVERTISING (SEARCH ENGINES, SOCIAL MEDIA, & OTHERS) 

Facebook is testing new shopping ads, but they are only available to small groups at the moment: checkout from the Facebook app, and turning Instagram shopping posts into ads. Here’s more on the latter. 

Snapchat now has longer ads and different formats. 

I see a lot of questions on what you can advertise on various platforms; here’s a good summary of items/topics prohibited on major sites. 

Since so many sellers are interested in other types of advertising right now, here are a few primers, most of which I have posted here before: Setting up Google Shopping for your website Instagram Sponsored Posts How to beat Facebook’s ad algorithm Setting up Pinterest ads

STATS, DATA, OTHER TRACKING 

Have Google Analytics set up on your website but don’t know how to use it? Here are some common features [text and video] you may want to take advantage of. Note that the part about setting it up doesn’t apply to most marketplaces and many website builders, which have a more simplified set up, as Etsy does. 

The old Google Search Console (formerly Google Webmaster Tools) is now almost entirely converted to the new version. Expect all of the old reports to be moved to the new version soon. 

ECOMMERCE NEWS, IDEAS, TRENDS 

There’s new evidence that Amazon has skewed its search algorithm to favour its own products & third-party products that make Amazon the most money. ”Executives from Amazon’s retail divisions have frequently pressured the engineers at A9 to surface their products higher in search results, people familiar with the discussions said.” In case that WSJ article goes back behind a paywall, here is some news coverage of it. “Instead of adding profitability into the algorithm itself, Amazon changed the algorithm to prioritize factors that correlate with profitability, the article said.” Amazon denies this, of course. 

Despite the legal agreement in Germany, Amazon is still suspending accounts without 30 days notice. 

Want to use cash to pay for online purchases? Amazon is now offering that option in the US. 

eBay listings now default to 1-day handling; if you ship slower than that, make sure to remember to change the default on each new listing you make. 

eBay managed payments (the equivalent of Etsy Payments) are now available in Germany. 

A review of major shipping trends in ecommerce notes that “[t]he accelerated supply chain is putting small sellers at a crossroads regarding if they can afford to take a hit on margins” when discussing Etsy’s free shipping push. 

BUSINESS & CONSUMER STUDIES, STATS & REPORTS; SOCIOLOGY & PSYCHOLOGY, CUSTOMER SERVICE 

Over ⅓ of US adults have bought something on social media, over 50% of 18-34 year olds are in that group. Far fewer had used visual search or virtual reality. 

More people are shopping online late at night; women are more likely to do it, but men spend more when they do. [I’ve noticed this trend on my site and Etsy shop for a few years now,compared to when I first started selling in 2008.]

The majority of shoppers worldwide who are online use videos to make some purchase decisions, as shopping lists, how-to research, and to check reviews. 

Gen Z (the generation after millennials) is more concerned about their health than the the previous 2 generations, and sometimes avoid the stresses of social media by shopping in brick & mortar stores. “About two-thirds (67%) of Gen Z prefer products made with ingredients they can understand, and tend to buy products in health and wellness categories more frequently than other generations. On environmental issues, 65% said they prefer simple packaging and 58% said they want eco-friendly packaging. Half of the group seeks products that are locally sourced or made, and 57% are seeking products that are environmentally sustainable, but fewer are willing to pay a premium price for them.”

For the 2019 holiday season, “65% of holiday shoppers will use a mobile device to shop, and 65% will make an online purchase via mobile.”

How do different industries get their online traffic? Google sends sites 8 times more traffic than all social media sites combined, and Facebook drives nearly ⅔ of all visits from social media. Instagram is responsible for less than 1%, while Twitter tops 10%. The author notes that “faster-growing social networks like Instagram, Snapchat and TikTok are designed from the ground up in a way that makes it difficult to drive traffic to external sites.”

MISCELLANEOUS (including humour) 

Google is working on letting you search your Google Photos for text; it seems to be using AI to identify & store the text in your screenshots and other images. It’s interesting technology that will likely be used in many ways, including search engines, if it works well. 

If you like convo snippets on Etsy, here’s a tool that will make them possible in many more places. 

Need a photo editor that works on mobile? Here’s a list of 12, most of which are free or cost only $1 USD. 

This one simple trick makes everything faster and easier. 

Stuff that probably shouldn’t taste like pumpkin spice. [humour]