#and here we are I dont contol them

[bnbc]

WIP WEDNESDAY

tysm for a tag @corpocyborg

I'm not sure I if I shared it already or not, this WIP is quite old (I finished 2 fics since I started this one) yet I would like to finish it one day and need a push xD

"How do you usually start?" "I undress." Heinrix's reflection remains still, but Isabella feels how his hands on her shoulders move subtly. Their eyes meet in the mirror, and she suddenly is overcome by the desire to yank the strings on her dress to let the fabric flow down her arms and lean to the chair’s back so that Heinrix’s palms slide down, as by their own will. It's not the best time for this, but... Maybe later. “I’m not kidding,” Isabella says. “It'll be easier later to clean myself than my dress." "Reasonable." She watches his fingers trail along her collarbone to touch the lace at the edge of her neckline. “I’m afraid we'll have to break this tradition,” Heinrix feigns a heavy sigh, but the corner of his mouth is raised in a slight grin. “Otherwise I'll be less than helpful.” "Oh no. So what should we do?" “There is a simple solution,” he doesn't hide his smile now. "I will undress."

[the-firebird69]

dave chappelle stepped off stage after a few minutes a cell phone was used. now it is far toos trict but heard racism and comments alld ay and they planned to push him off stage and they are mistreated here badly. and our son says he is too. needs to find a way to another place and we agree but cant and he knows it. but the do it to minorities. and have been to our son who is poor cant move at all has no transprotation too. they are rude hienous losers must be disciplined

Thor Freya

we heard it all see it ad send for help and constntly need to and now

minority morlock

tons of tiems now and they come in they monpolize the large ship industry and do and ono the seas too and it is obnoixius and way over the top now

forgieners

let them mike you idiot

mac daddy

why

mike t

i say so

mac

ok

mike t and i warned you

and you shutup i wanredyou tons of times dont tke it lightly ok. they say it and dont return. it is hard but ok. and we see why no they do but dont say. now this stuff hurts you asses talking all day and wiht him your jerks ok

mac daddy nd tons of songs and you get it he says yeh and the talk in westboro and yeh got it and will have the presidency this coming term. and we say how and he said said it and ok. does too we dont recall it good. and he will and the macs say we do it have him nd he says so what. and i belive him he is growing and not shrinking and getting huge somehow hge

Olympus

we get that going as we see it too we are in a deadlock these grow no shrink. and big and yeh cant afford it will buy acid contoller and we do say this he is wise to it damnit but ok lol

macs

[reallygottaremebermypasswords]

Major and I had gone back to our bunks, him muttering about how they dont treat us with basci human decancy and I was still quiet. I hadnt said much. I watched hima s he yelled at the guards, but the thought of how he jsut treated his own girl witht he lack of regard still laid in my mind. I had told him, we should plan a prsione escaspe. He looked at me like I had lost my mind. But why Noot? "NAw, Ive been looking towaRD that exit door in the quad area and like. You know could lead outside or something." "Naw man that crazy you try that shit you be in here another six years."

"What would it matter if Im already in here fdor six yeares" "So you can get another six more that makes no sense to me"

I laid there to myself shurggin him off, knowign as much as he talked he wouldsnt ever actually do anything in rebblion to the police. Or guard jsut remind them of their own callous criem sand sit there reaping the benfits as most do. His own lack of knowledeg of th esytem and using his own charms to attain perosnal goods was funny. Hes willing ot shoot one woman in need to hustle and garner success but his won want to stay within the prioson cell for fear of being trppaed longer was a complex fallacy I could not understand. WHat would be the point of allowing the same man contolling youi that you yell at to treat you with kindess knowing they have a lack of regard for your own life, why would you submit to that own poer?

[randomsevans]

The truth was hidden there all along.

"IZZY , JAMES GET UP NOW !" You shouted from the bottom of the stairs . This is the third time you have called for them your patience is wearing thin

"YOUR GOING TO BE LATE FOR DAY CARE !"

You took a deep breath and hung your head low as you rested against the handles of the stairs

"CHRIS IS GOING TO BE HERE ANY MINUTE AND HE WONT TAKE YOU IF YOUR NOT DOWN HERE BY THE TIME HE WALKS THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR "

That line works most times , considering your children love your partner more then there love you . Funny how the fun one gets more love then the person who brought them into the world .

"YOUR MOMS RIGHT JELLY BEAN IM WAITING " a deep voice boomed from behind you making you jump

"Oh shit !"you placed your hand over your heart

"Watch your languages darling " chris smirked

"Dont scare me then " you turned to him slapping his chest .he caught it and pulled you into his chest and slammed his lips fo yours .

"Ewwwee " followed by tiny stomps down the stairs

"Chris !" A high pitched squeal from your three year old daughter Izzy as she run down the stairs

"Izzy dont ... "chris panic voice came through allows for the air in his chest it he punched out and izzy jumped into his arms squealing

"Chris ! Chris ! Chris !" She did a little wiggle in his arms

"Oh I see some one is now awake "you shook your head

You turned your head and looked up at the top of the stairs to see your 7 year old son james standing there with his arms across .

"Come on james . I need to take you to school while chris takes izzy "

"You too finished " he snarled stomping his way down the stairs

"Finished what?" You scrunched up your face turning to chris , who just shrugged, dragging izzy upside down as if it was nothing.

James was the final steps and narrowed his eyed at chris and pointed his finger at him. Making chris instantly stop what he was doing and paying full attention to the little boy

"You mister .... I never want to see that again " his voice was stern but still high pitched

Chris looked at you with scared eyes "do what son ?" He asked

You just looked at the two of them ,as james browns hair was sticking all over over the place . Your heart fluttered when chris "son " but was replaced by guilt quickly

"Kissing my mamma with out asking " his voice was stern and very serious

Chris looked shocked upon the young boy and turned to you .

"Yeah chris you should of asked first " you teased

"But ... baby .." Chris looked like a kicked puppy as James made his way down the final steps and stood in front of Chris who was still holding his sister as she played with hair in her small hands

"You need to ask next time . You got that mister "

Chris nodded still shocked with his mouth open

"Good !" And with that he made his way into the kitchen , as Chris put Izzy down to follower her brother .

"Wh..what just happend?" Chris shook his head making his way to you ,placing a hand on the small of your back .

"You just got a scolding form my son" you grinned up at him

"Yep that boy is 100% your son " chris chuckled placing a kiss on your cheek . And there was the guilt eating up at you again . Always parizling you from the truth . And it hurts, it eating at you but you dont know what the outcome would be if you told the truth

"WHAT DID I JUST SAY! "

Chris put his hands up in her air and started walk over to the kitchen

"Now who wants porridge " he clasped his hands together

"Ewwwwe no PANCAKES " Izzy screamed the last part at the top of her lungs. You simple stood there at the side lines and watched

You were so thankful to have chris in your life . You and him have been friends for years at least a decade, you've had your ups and downs, your fazes through out your friendship . In the time you had James he was not around busy with life as yours being to change . But when Izzy came around and you were all on your own he came back in and become a permanent part in your life .

You remind sticky friends during your pregnancy and first few months of Izzy being born .

But as you spent more time with him, the feeling you always had for him were become stronger and in no time you and him were together. Officially. Not like it used to be in the past . When you were just friends with extra when it suited him .

And Chris was fine with you being a single mom . After Izzy "and " James father left you for someone else after months of cheating .

Chris adored your children . Chris is the only father figure Izzy know . Hell he even named her Isabella he wanted to use the nickname Bell but Izzy just stuck more .

And that what made the guilt even stronger as your past is strong and complicated your so scared it will effect your future you would not dare tell a soul. It could either make your family or tear it apart. 

“baby you coming ?” chris snapped you out of your thoughts

“oh yeah “

**************************************************************************************

chris pov 

i was driving , taking Izzy to her pre-school , who was currently in the back seat , quiet , unusal quite . if theres one thing ive learned over watching that little blonde princess grow up ,is that the moment she learnt how to speak she never shut up , oh I wonders where she got that from ? i chuckled little at the memory of you yesterday over the phone , not shutting up complaing about one of James teachers .i looked up in the mirror to get a glimps of the little girl , 

she was seat there in her car seat stairing out at the window with a little pout .

“whats the mattter Jelly Bean ?”

she let out a dramactic sigh , always dramctic that one ,wounder who else is like that ?

“chris ?” she softly whispered still looking at the moving trees 

“yes Izzy ?” i asked trying to look at her while also looking at the road ahead 

“why dont we call you daddy ?” 

the questsion caught me off graud , 

“umm i ..” i didnt know what to say , this is the first she has ever asked anything like this and your not here to have an answer. I dont want to say something that will upset you .

“ what makes you ask that ?"i  questioned 

she final looked up “its just i heard emily yeasterday getting picked u , by this man and she called him daddy , and i asked Ms Smiwth and she saiw that every littlw gurl and boi has a mamma awd a daddy “ 

my heart pumped first at her confession as her little doll eyes glassed over , along with her being adorable not being able to speak quite right yet 

“awd i aswed her what a daddy does , awd she saiw that a daddy looks after you and does everthing a momma does . And you do that , so why do we callw you Chris awd not daddy ?”

now my eyes were glossing over , i looked over at the clock on the dash bord and saw we had a bit of extra time before she needs to be at school , so i pulled over and switched the engine off . i undone my belt and turned to face the little one . 

“jelly bean .. i “ i began to chock on my words 

“its just that i may be here but im not you daddy , not properly  “

her lip began to trembel as a small tear escaped her little blue eyes 

“soo your ... your pretenting !”she whispered , my heart stopped 

“what no ... no bean not at all . i Love you and James as if i was your daddy “

“but your not ?“she titled her head 

“yes .. you see there some one else out there , who is  but ...” god this was so diffuclt with out you “but you have me and mommy and thats all you will ever need , i will always be here for you and for James “ i said slowly hoping to avoid a moring melt down , but if it was from her or me was unknown at this point . I love those kids like there are my own , there came from you how can i not . ive been around Izzy since she was born i was with you through out most of your pregnancy , since that dick head who is meant to be her father pissed off , i will never understand why that waste of space never saw you as enough . You are more then enough for me , your too good for me , i dont desve you speical the shit i put you through our younger years , it took me so long to open  my eyes to see you were all i ever wanted and in that time you had already had two children with some twat . But im thank full of what i have and i love those kids and you more then anthing , 

“so if you .. dow if you look afwter us why dont we callw you daddy ?

“ do you want to call me that ?” i asked 

i was offical dead when she nodded her head with the widest smile , making me tear up 

i took a deep breath , turing to contol my emotion , i cant explain it , its all ive ever wanted . 

“okay missy lets get you to school "

[achieveandhunt]

live typing extra life 2019

part 2

warning: this was a mistake and i’m in the grapes

this starts right at Facilities vs AH. link to first post

let’s fuck some shit up babEY

oh what the fuck they’re playing a prerecorded video

last year was a fuckin doozy, nobody forget that

“legends of the under achiever” i didn’t know someone wrote my biography

why do i hear geoff screaming “FIVE FUCKIN FOUR” in my head, like in the legends of the hidden temple minecraft videos

jeremy looks. so dead inside on this fine november evening

ryan buzzing while they’re trying to explain the rules

my video quality went down so much that i thought i was watching someone playing roblox for a second

ryan “salty mother fucker” haywood has made a lovely appearance. he’s my favorite

michael and lindsay looking so domestic makes me so happy,, they’re my parents

someone donated under the name “ryan goes feral” uh??? yeah? you say that like it’s a bad thing??

oH FUCK MICHAEL GO DRIVE WIN PLEASE

jeremy HAS BROKEN OUT THE GLASSES SHIT’S SERIOUS

NO THEY’RE LOSING GOD DAMMIT

ʳʸᵃⁿ ᶦⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵃᶜᵏᵍʳᵒᵘⁿᵈ, ᵠᵘᶦᵉᵗˡʸ: ʰᵉˡᵖ

JEREMY IT’S TIME TO TEST OUT THAT NONEXISTENT GAG REFLEX AND SWALLOW THE OPPONENT’S CONTROLLER

oh nvm they’re winning again lmao

OH FUCK thEYRE LOSING

oh nvm

OH FUCK

oh nvm they unplugged his contoller lol

OH FUCKING TH EY LOST MICHAEL JONES MY HEART IS BROKEN

the amount of people watching has gone up from 32k to 40k in the past fifteen minutes

michael “hurry up you dumb cunts” jones

“oh don’t worry about destroying our cabinet, it’s essentially matchsticks”

“how are you feeling john? are you ready for this?” “MM M M Mmm mM”

TEAM NICE DYNAMITE IS NEXT AND IM READY FOR PERMANENTLY RINGING EARS FROM ALL THE LEET DONATIONS

oH god here we go

“hopefully they haven’t been saving them all day” oh honey. you’ve got a big storm coming

if xavier slaps gavin i think gav might go up in a puff of smoke

i did the math, they went up 45k+ within five minutes of team nice dynamite showing up on stream

GAVIN AND MICHAEL ARE GOING TO DIE

THERE’S GONNA BE A MOONBALL SIZED HOLE IN GAVIN’S CHEST

ryan and lindsay both donating a grand during this segment... so good

the day gavin free successfully gets a tattoo is the day i drop dead

lindsay saying she didn’t want the TND tattoo on michael but she agreed because gav is michael’s boi :((( 

i’m too sleep deprived for this i might cry

oh god michael’s punching the floor

i’m too sober for this

EIGHTY EIGHT LEET DONATIONS IN TWENTY MINUTES HOLY FUCJKIGN SHIT YOU GUYS ARE GONNA BE THROWING MOONBALLS FOR FUCKIN SIX YEARS

on a sentimental note- i love how much collective love we have for gav and michael,, they deserve it all

milk boarded has some not-so-great connotations attached to it

gavin “the bullshit bitch” free

a mark nutt reference?? in my 2019 extra life????

this just in: sarah is going to obliterate gavin

oh. oh my god. that was the sound of a wet fish smacking a wall

why is jeremy the liquor goblin walking like a crab that has a bird attached to its back??? see: flapping arms

that beer and milk concoction... gag

“drink that milk yard”

“YOU GOT MY TOES MILKY”

no. nO MICHAEL NO YOUR INTESTINES NOO

michael “the milk’s in my brain” jones

“stop pouring it on people!” “iT’S HARD DICKHEAD”

lindsay is now. taking a milk shower

*caiti brings a small roll of paper towels* *gavin gently places a single paper towel on the massive puddle of milk*

no LINDSAY NO THINK OF THE CHILDREN

gavin: this has gotten way out of hand. she’s... she’s swimming in an inch of milk! everyone knows you should swim in at least two!!

the fajita seasoning will solve everythinG everyone calm down

fiona: yeah this is my first extra life. jack: and what were you expecting? fiona: this. exactly this.

ah yes. the bunny suits have arrived and michael is ready to tackle gavin

aaaand here comes the AH fanfic. it can only get worse from here so buckle up fuckos

“holy fuckeroni”

“re-reanimated trevor”

michael is so fucking smashed and god i wish that was me

“cum-ductor”

fiona “this is a white man” nova

“bone-ating” *leet donation* *leet donation* 

“ready set blow” made me genuinely bust a lung laughing

aaaand michael’s licking the floor which is to be expected

jeremy “i’m gonna actually harm you” dooley

IF ONE MORE PERSON BRINGS UP RANCH IM GOING TO WALK TO AUSTIN AND PROJECTILE VOMIT ON THE OFF TOPIC SET

no JEREMY NO YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE I THOUGHT YOU WOULDN’T DO THIS GET OFF THE F  L O O R

don’t get close ups on jeremy’s tongue. don’t do that to me. i don’t want nightmares

“fuck root” “let’s just fucking fuck”

1 2 3 CONSENT

michael has gone full gerkie

alfredo’s look when larry is reading the part about trevor choking him is how i feel about everything that’s happened in the past twenty minutes

almost 300k in less than an hour 

fiona saying “i don’t want this” overlaying michael humping a trash can

“TAKE THE TACO CHAD”

aaaand michael’s in the trash can

nO why is there a triangle is this a POETRY READING ALL OF A SUDDEN

oh thank god it’s over

OH FUCK THERE’S A N EPILOGUE

aaand trevor’s dead again. poor treyco

DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS EVERYONE PUT A CUP IN YOUR PANTS

people singing along... what goes on

why am i downloading this fuckin song asap

jeremy turning his phone flashlight on and waving it like he’s at a concert god dammit i love these people so much

those are my BOYS

oh my gosh they’re still singing the song. why is my heart so happy from this i need to get slapped

“come on you’ve never been waterboarded before gavin?”

everyone standing in a circle shining their flashlights at gavin

someone surprise them and instead of a moonball just yeet a whole gallon of milk at them

actually, on second thought, no

OH god GavIN Is GOING to Die 

gavin “i forgot to breathe” free

several milk explosions

gavin “my brain is cold” free

michael has milk dripping from his ears

i’m about to pass out i don’t know what’s happening

michael is in the grapes right now man

how many moonballs? oh, only 107. :)

i’m not writing this part- you guys have to watch the moonball segment yourself, if you didn’t watch it live!

team nice dynamite finishes up with over 300k!! holy shit, that’s so cool! this community is awesome

werewolf is up next!

xavier is such a gentleman can we keep him

alfredo: *chooses to kill miles* trevor in the audience: *silently freaking out*

xavier is about ruin another man on stream

miles has no self preservation instinct

barbara is now smelling fiona

this just in: i love alfredo and 100% would have done the same thing

trevor running up to film alfredo getting smacked. what an icon

alfredo SCREAMING oh my god i felt it in my soul

the high-five of the backs in solidarity of intense pain

miles choosing alfredo is so fucking good

and also, i feel so bad 

his heart might shoot out of his asshole this time guys

oh NOOO HE’s so bruised :(((( fredo nooo :((

oh my god it’s gotten to the usual point in the stream where you start to question whether someone is going to die this time

rip blaine but at least i think he can take the hit

he can but ouch it still hurts me 

barbara “i’m participating in the game” dunkleman

yo miles might win this game

the crowd when someone needs to shoot barb: TREVOR TREVOR TREVOR! trevor, with the strength of a thousand suns: N O

people are now chanting about shooting an unprotected trevor. the man already died once this stream god dammit

alfredo is about to throw hands for fiona

that’s a big F in the chat for miles, but his loss is well deserved

xavier’s hands could serve as a defibrillator

alfredo showed jeremy his chest and jeremy shied away as if he was looking at the sun

 --- i’m taking another break to finish an assignment---

i’m barely alive and it’s ready set show time 

oh god please no more shock collars

i’m so fucking tiiiiredd please take thge res t of this post  wigth  a grain of salt lbecasue i can hardly type at this ponitn 

“do you want to control the shock collars” “will there be repercussions” “no” “fuck yeah i’ll do it then”

“smother the children. steal the baby” “DONT STEAL THE BABY TREVOR”

lunging forward “s c a r e  t h e  b a b y” “OKAY I’M PASSING THIS ONE”

“you can’t bake popcorn????” jeremy hits the floor

alec and matt clearly = dream team

oh thasnk god the shock collars are on their arms now i was stressed out for chris earlier

this stream does not promote recreational nyquil usage 

i don’t even know how to explain the pure insanity of what ready set show has become

alec has become this whole segment

i would write more but i have no thoughts because my brain doesn’t work

larry “makes people fuck other people besides their wife” insert last name that my brain can’t come up with

anyways. marbles

oh. no marbles

i’ve blacked out idk what happened during backwardz compatible

i mean i was awake but does that really mean anything at this point

SPPOKU PSOOKY SPPOKKKY SPOOOKY !!! FUCL YEAH 

cole is so good during this segment

oh so many 1337s right away 

the real scariest thing during the segment: being genuine

oH my god the scream being pitched up. i have fucking dogs outside of my house now

i don’t fuck w/ ghosts no thank you

“aba-jail” wow if u guys weren’t gonna get haunted before you will now

okay i’m about to pass out i have to take a nap

oH fucking I SLEPT until thirty minutes before the en d  fuck

conclusion: this community is incredible and raised an unimaginable amount of money for charity. the fact that rooster teeth does this every year is awesome, and honestly, it makes me feel hopeful in times when things aren’t so great. so yeah! for the kids & stuff 

[murlinxmaverick]

Dear Erika

No more horsing around. I want you to be my valentine. but not just today, i want you to be my valentaine for the rest of our lives. No more horsing around, its valentinmes day

No more horsing aroud its valentaines day! you gave me this valentines day card 7 years ago today and asked me “ Do you get it?” i replied with yeah bc its a horse.” you said “no do you get it?” and in truth, I did but i was too emotionally imature and lacked the to know how to put it into words what i was feeling; How I felt about you. Ive held on to this card for all this time because dont want to let it go. You demonstrated such courage that day and all i could do in responce was to deflect your question and avoid the answer you wanted to hear. There’s alot that has changed about me but one thing remains the same, im a terrible liar. i didnt want to tell you the answer i thought you wanted to hear bc i didnt want to lie to you. i hate liars and i always have, but i have become a really good one over the years. this card is really important to me and im giving it to you today

theres always a moment when you hear someone talking about a biggest regret or maybe you hear a song about 

Unfortunately 7 years is a long time and we are no longer the same people we were back then. the little things i do remeber have have stayed with me and you pop int . but what i do remember has stuck with me. Every holloween i think of spooky Erika because you onve told me it was your favorite holiday. I remember that you hate cheese and every time i eat cheese i think of you which is very often. every time i look at furniture or pass a interior pass the funiture section at a  store i think of how you wanted to be an interiior designer and do you still hate your floor? and that you would watch anime and watched to be a voice actor, i actually decide I wanted to make a short animated fim and always had planned to ask you to be apart of it and voice act in it. but tthings have probably changed i mean you just got into a masters program and im sure those things arent on your mind anymire by the way congrats on that! ihad decide to writ you this before you posted that on the 11th andf i wanted to reach out so bad but i thought that would be weird and out of the blue. 

I was on instragream and i saw a tweet that said something like “after relationships boys learn how to treat the next the next girl but the girl is left broke for the next guy” or somthing like that. i thought of you when reading that and thinking that relationship taugh me so much about myself and i feared that the second half of that tweet was true just how the first [part was.  i was angery with myself and hating the fact that i cant go back to change it or the fact that i never appoligized and told you how i felt i kept telling myself shes moved on and woulkd rather not think of the past. ive tried to appologize before but everytime i would type out an apology i kept hinking to myself shes probably doing just fine without it and would rather not hear from me. ive doubted myself alot when it come to you but i want to change that. I dont want to hesitate osting something on social media just to avoid seraching for you name under the likes or views, i want to not care about that because ill have something better then a simple like, ill have y ou.

last year wasnt the best for me, i got in to a new relationship at the beginning of the year and the more i got to know her the more she reminded me of you. i making the comparison and eventually told her about you and what you meant to me and how i can never make it past the threee month mark whenever i am talking to someone new because Thats around the time we broke up and i just want our relationship we had to be the most impoortyant to me. when i broke things off with her and told her my reson she told me “I am erika and youre running away from something you want.” her words got me angery because i felt she had no right comparing herself to you and that she was wrong. months after the relationship ended i was going throw the things she had givven me to toss them out when i found this valentaines day card from you and when it came down to it i could let it go the way i was letting go of the things she had given me. i treated you so poorly and its my biggest regret but i cant change the past. i can only choose my future and i am choosing you! I am so sorry for what i did in the pastand i honestly feel like i dont deserve another chance but if you give me another chance i promise to never make that same mistake again! this card means alot to me, thats why ive held on to it for all this time, and today i want to give it to you.

I dont want to make any promises i cannot keep so i wont promise to never hurt you or to never disappoint you, but what i will promise is to always do everything in my power to make you happy. there are going to be times where you get fustrated with me and want to stranggle me because i am too “boy” to understand something you want from me but i promise to always try to give you the future you deserve. the future that i left in the past 7 years ago. i can only contol my actions and i am choosing to do everything in my power to dserve another chance at making you my valentine. not jsut today but everyday feburary 14 from here on out. I want to be the one who gets to know you entirely inside and out! i want you to always feel safe with me where vulnerability and love is communicated with our words, our gaze, our touch, and our embrace. theres so much i missed out on in the last 7 years and i dont want to miss anything else. Im leaving the card with you but I’d like it back. If you give me this chance, return the card to me and I will keep every promise i have and will make to you.

 Erika, will you be my Valentine?

[you-are-worth-the-wait]

i’m sorry if i put you through a rollercoaster of emotions.  this is a difficult way to communicate versus how we used to/usually do.  i know...*sigh*  i think it’s just the overall feeling of feeling lost and just the uncertainty of it all.  or maybe it’s the feeling of hopelessness and helplessness in the sense that i have no control over things, you know?  like how i said at least with you, even though you are in a crappy situation, you have control over your/the situation.  for me...i think it’s just the whole adage of, “that hardest part is waiting.”  

i know what he thinks and feels means something to you and it does to me too and it sucks that he gets hurt the way he does because of what we’ve done but i would never deny what you and i had and still have.  if i could tell people, i would tell them that yes, i am still in love with you.  i know it’s all about wording, how you phrase and answer questions, and trying “not to make him sad/mad”, but you have to know that it means so much to me and shows how much you care, and still do for me, when you answer him and tell him as truthfully as you can about how you feel about me.  i’m not going to assume the assumptions and conclusions he jumps to because i know you have to keep things in check based on what you are doing, but there is a part of me that does feel that there are different levels of “love and respect”, and that you and i still have something that he doesn’t have and is trying to obtain.  and i think the truth may hurt him too much if he were to know and realize the possibility of how big the gap may be between you and him versus me and you.  honestly, i would put our realtionship up against most anyone else’s and i can honestly say that the majority of people would love to have what we have, him included.  again, i’m not jumping to conclusions.  that’s just how i feel about you and me based on what we had back then and what we still have now.  it’s tough to know exactly how you feel, but i can tell there are moments and times where there is something that we have that you too may never have.

i don’t regret anything with you either.  never have.  like i said, i think it’s just how i feel like i have no control over what’s going on.  like, my life and my future is dependent on something that i can’t do anything about.  like when we travel and we aren’t seated together.  sure there’s the fun of being able to sit together and enjoying each other’s company but one of the main reasons i would rather be seated next to you is because at least then, i know i can watch over you and keep you safe.  it is out of my hands when it comes to random seating assignments and i have that sense and feeling of helplessness because i’m at the mercy of random seating.  but at least when we get there and go to the ticket agent, i have some control and the possibility of changing things by simply going up to them and asking if they have any seating arrangment possibilities of sitting together.  at least then, i feel like i have contol in the sense where i can ask if something can be done.  or the reason why i like to play blackjack and craps versus a slot machine.  in craps, i have the dice in my hands so at least i feel i have control of what happens.  sure it’s still random what i will end up rolling but at least with the dice in my hands, i have the control of being the one who has control up until the point i release the dice.  or in blackjack, i can chose to get another card or not.  i don’t know if that next card will help or hurt me, but i’m the one who gives myself a chance to keep playing if i don’t take a card with the chance that the dealer will end up busting and i can still win.  where as with a machine, all it is is pushing a button and depending on luck.  with blackjack and dice, there is a skilset, there is a strategy, there is a way to give yourself an edge to win.  with slots, you are just relying on pure luck.

i didn’t mean to make you sad.  and i know i was always given that chance.  i just chose not to take those chances.  i chose what i chose with the thought that i was doing it for me/us.  it’s just tough to look at where i’m at, to have “nothing” at the moment, and to have no control or say as to how my future will end up.  

i may not even be saying things the right way the way i see them in my mind.  “regret” is not even a word that i use when it comes to you and me and what we’ve done, been, and meant to each other.  like i said, i want you to stop hurting, i want me to stop hurting, and it’s difficult to try to make that happen when i feel i have no control or say over things, you know?  how hard you are trying and fighting to make things work there, i want to fight as hard to try and win you over and make you see that it should be me that you choose.  

i’m sorry if what i keep saying makes you sad.  that wasn’t the intent.  i didn’t want it to come across that way.  i wanted to let you know that i don’t regret anything between us.  what i said about me and florida and whatevers, i think it was my way of rationalizing where you currently have a goal of working to fix something.  it may not be the best situation but you have a reason to wake up in the morning and find a reason and motivation to keep fighting.  you have “something” to work on.  where as me, it’s hard to fight for something when no one can see how hard i’m fighting here for you/us.  no one sees or knows what i’m doing, what i’m feeling, what i’m struggling to do, how much i’m working to keep things together, how much “hope and faith” i’m having to put into something that i have no control over.  at the end of your day or in that moment of self reflect to see if any of your actions had any effect of what will happen, you have something to measure it against.  you can say, “this is better because if what i did.  this is worse because of what i did.  i did this right so i should keep doing this.  i did this wrong so i should fix this.”  me, i don’t have something to gauge if what i’m doing is making a difference.  there’s no measure or validation if what i’m feeling or doing is making a differene.  

how will anyone ever know how much you mean to me and what we mean to each other.  all that is out of my control.  it’s hard to know and feel that i can make so much of a difference but i’m not given that chance.  i dont regret any of the choices i’ve made with you and i don’t want you to feel sad about things.  like i said, what i was trying to get across to you, i think i may have worded it the wrong way or it didn’t come across the way i meant or intended it to.  there were so many random thoughts firing in my head.  the main point i wanted to get across with all that was what you felt in your dream.  the hurt and sadness that you felt then.  whatever “dream me” said that made you feel the way you did, i don’t feel that way.  

i don’t want you to feel sad or to be hurt by me.  it’s so hard when we can’t talk to each other.  i told you, you are my compass.  you reel me in and guide my ever firing and active mind.  without you, my mind functions on miles a minute.  you’ve seen it in the way i talk, the way i act, the way i am on trips.  it’s difficult for me to stay the course when there are so many chances, options, and possibilites out there.  when i’m with you, you help me to focus.  you give me a better sense of direction.  you are able to harness my energies so it’s not wasted.  with me, you’ll see that i can get things done.  it may not be the most efficient or conventional way but one way or another, i’ll find a way to make something happen.  i know you could appreciate that because of all the things we have been able to have and experience because i’ve done what you probably wouldn’t normally have done.  we’ve experienced so much together and we’ve had so much fun when it was done your way.  but you have to admit, the things we were able to experience also doing things “my way” which is not in your norm, they are experiences that you most likely wouldn’t have been able to experience without me and the way i do things.  that’s part of what makes us exciting, fun, unique, and our relationship flowing the way it does.  we are able to harness the “good and bad” of each other to compliment and create a synergistic effect.  i’m starting to wonder or think if maybe that’s the reason why even though some of our trips never ended with the original intent, you and i have never had a “crappy” trip/moment.  when we encounter an obsatacle, you have your way of thinking and viewing things and i have mine, and somehow, that obstacle becomes a thing of the past because with all the options we bring forth at that moment, the obstacle becomes trivial or is encorporated into our fun.  the best thing i can think of at the moment was when we had our first hike to the hot springs.  we completely messed that up and didn’t realize how off we were till we triangulated our position and realized that in order to get to where we needed to get to, we had to merely “cross the highway”.  others would have considered that trip a failure.  you and me, i don’t know about you, but i had just as much fun on that hike as i’ve had with all the other hikes.  i played around with you, i joked around with you, we took pictures and were able to create memories together.  no one will ever know that that hike was “messed up” but for us, well at least for me, it was still memorable and fun.  during moments and times like that, i’m glad that the person i was with was you.  you were able to admit the mistake, i was able to accept it, and in the moment when we could have turned against each other, it ended up bringing us closer because we wanted to make it fun and worth while to each other.  we still wanted to validate each other’s feelings and make sure the other one was okay.  that’s how and why i feel our relationship is so amazing and magical in that sense.  apart, with the lack of communication and with no sense of direction, you and i get so thrown off course with all these unnecessary misunderstandings.  i know you are sad right now and may feel hurt or confused and may not know what to say.  but just like the other miscommunication we had the last time, where it took as a couple days of missed messages and what not to figure things out.  within a matter of 5 or so broken messages and as best as we could without actually speaking to each other.  we resolved it.  like i said, much as you may be sad or hurting right now.  i believe that if we had this covnerstion face to face, it wouldn’t have “ended” the way it has.  i hope by the time you finish reading this, there is some sense of return to calm and love and understanding that we’ve always had between each other and that you realize that what you felt, it wasn’t my intent.  i’ll accpet and validate what you are feeling, but i know since that wasn’t my intent, i know we could talk things out and come to that point where our feelings, thoughts, perceptions, and love for each other is stronger after the resolve.  it’s just like that misguided hike.  you and i just went totally off track but once we talked things out and figured it out, it was a relatively “easy” fix and it was like we never skipped a beat.  i feel like that’s what our “misunderstandings talking through here” is like.  you may make me feel a certain way and i may make you feel a certain way, but that wasn’t our intent.  and when we are able to actually “talk” things out, we end up realizing where the breakdown was, and we come out of it with a stronger resolve and affirmation of how much we care and what the other means to us.  

i think that’s why all i can do is say that i love and care for you.  i can say it till i’m blue in the face or till i die.  but how can i tell if it’s making a difference?  how can you tell how much those words mean and the fight behind them.  he and i can tell you and confess how much we love you, how much you mean to each of us, how much we care for you.  but i can’t hold, hug, reassure, or show you the true meaning behind those words.  he may tell you he loves, he may kiss you as he says it, he may hold and hug you to make you believe it, he may do whatever he feels is necessary to make you beleive it, and he may promise to keep you safe in any way he can, and i have no doubt he’s trying to be as genuine as he could be in trying to erase those troubles and doubt of turmil in your mind and heart.  but a part of me feels that you and i are so much deeper than you and him, so much deeper than other couples who’ve been together longer, so much deeper than those who claim and testify with what they have.  so much so that all i have to do is intertwine and hold your hand in mine, look into your eyes, carress my hand across your check as i draw you closer into me by using my hand to guide you by the back of your neck into my chest, lightly kiss your forehead, and hold you gently as i tell you that you will be safe with me, and i know that you will believe that.  as silent or the reason why i can’t touch, hold or be with you, one of the silver linings i need to see and believe, and i don’t mean to sound like a dick here, i’m just telling you what i would like to think or believe is true and you also see/recognize that...is that no matter what it is that you and him are trying to do and accomplish there, you will never feel as safe, as accpeted, as loved, as respected as you are in your most raw and truest form.  he may be able to offer you so many things and he could literally be holding/hugging/embracing you, telling you he will keep you safe, trying to reassure you that everything will be all right.  but in a crowded room, while he is doing all of that, to see me across the room, to look into my eyes, to know that i’m there watching over you...i feel so strongly about us that i feel that knowing you can see me and i can see you...your feeling of comfort and safety will come more from me than from him.  and i feel that we have given up of ourselves to each other that we have that connection.  so can you imagine how much more it means when i am the one who is actually holding you?  when you are in my arms.  when you can place your hand on my chest and feel that my heart beats for you.  if people only knew that side of us, what could/would they say then...

please don’t feel sad Love.  there was a misunderstanding and miscommunication on my side earlier.  the dream and what i said earlier, that’s not how i feel or view us.  this is how i view and feel about you/us.  this is what i’m silently trying so hard to fight for.  this is the side and voice no one will ever be able to see and hear, and it’s a shame.  if only people could hear my voice and see my actions.  if they could only see how we look at each other, see the smiles that look produces, and feel the love radiating from us, based simply on a look.  because i feel and believe that so many others could only dream to have what we’ve accomplished in so short a time with each other.  can you imagine the possibilities if we gave each other a lifetime...

[yumenosakiacademy]

metr0con 2019 thursday diary

Cosplayed: tsuka-sa suou, summer uniform, w my burger king crown n my leo sign. Breakfast: ramen. Snack: none, but i did bring a package of poptarts.

This is for future me, so i’d prefer if ya didnt read but i mean. w/e.

Okay so.. I had a crappy morning and I only slept for 2 hours BUT! Con tiiiime! I got there and arrived at the hetalia panel a few minutes late but that's okay, it wasn't by many. I remembered I asked sealand during truth or dare n he said dare n I asked him to reenact his favorite fortunate dance n he was like "oh I've been waiting for this" or smth and later, I asked him how his gamer youtube channel was doing n america was like “oh dude i was ur 5th subscriber!!” n sealand was like “subscribe to me plss” n america was like “dont forget to like n subscribe. n receive notifications.” n someone dared canada to b as loud as america n she yelled when they said “be as loud as you were when u lost to russia in hockey”. at another part, someone asked america if she would rather never eat fast food again or save sealand from falling into a volcano n she hugged sealand n said “my lil bro!”. someone dared america to speak in proper english and she was all “oh pip pip cheerio” and mocking england haha

at the end of the panel, a girl came up to me n she said she liked my costume n i was like “!! r u into ES??” and they said “almost” or like. kinda or smth but they took my picture n i felt so happy gjhns

OKAY then i tried to go to the adventure t!me sing-along n q+a panel but they only did truth or dare for a few minutes n im not big into AT anyway so i wasnt rly having fun then they decided to start the singalong when they got the wifi working via someone turning on their hotspot but i had a bad throat so i just left the panel and then had abt 4 hrs to walk around! aw jeez, right?

while on my walk i saw a riku n got their pic n i was like “male idols unite hell yea” n we talked for a bit n they were talkin abt a boy idol series they had heard abt called dank!ra n i mentioned i had also heard abt that! i also came across someone who said they liked my costume or knew who i was (someone in a red beret) n we were talking abt ES n i was like “best boys go” n they said shu and i think keito n i was like “chiaki n mika.. theyre baby” n they were like “ryuse!ta! n rabitz r the most baby in ES” n i was like “oh dude those r my fav units.....” at some point, i saw kuro again!! i saw them but was too shy then later they spotted me as i walked past them n went “tsukasa!!” n i turned around n i was like “erin!!!” n i hugged them n the beret person was there too bc they were their friend apparently and kuro said they were just gonna b kuro for thursday (they were cosplaying summer uniform!kuro like they did in a previous yr) n they just wore it cuz they were hot n went “summer uniform solidarity” (bc i was summer uniform!tsukasa) n we fist bumped and i was digging around my shirt pocket to show them my souma keychain n they were like “oh dude u reaching into ur pocket reminded me i need to get smth from my pocket. i hav Fangs” n they put on costume fangs! eventually they started looking at jojo figures at the stall we were next to n we eventually parted.

at some point, the person running the itabag booth (theyre an ES fan, i kno. their site has ens-tars itabags in the examples gallery n they cosplayed ES last yr) saw me n went “ousama!” bc of my sign n i went over n they were like “guess what ia ctually got to meet arashis va last week” n i was like “RLY??” n they were showing me their arashi itabag n they were like “yea i got to shake his hand n everything aaa. n during his talk/panel (?) i kept showing off my arashi stuff as if to say “I LOVE ARASHI” n i was like “arashi is best knights member.. ara-nee............”

at some point my crown fell off while i was on the escalator? i tried to go back for it but it was gone in the Minute it took me to ride te up escalator? i assumed someone took it to wear but kenyan said someone mightve thrown it away..

i went to metro night live n it wasnt all that funny?? idk what to talk abt from it. they did a “luigi being a gamer” video series n one of them was him playing hotl!ne miami (not knowing it was violent) n he was like “ive never been to florida but i guess this is a game to simulate it!” n it said “proloogue: the metro” n he was like “oh like the convention!” n when the mask selection came up he was like “oh look we can even cosplay!” n he went thru the door n saw one of the mafia members n went “look! a congoer! hello- oh” n accidentaly shoved one of the guys down n he was like “can i help you up-” but then the character (jacket) smashed the guys head in w the button press n luigi went “....o-oh. uh-” and some of the other games were fortnite n he played a violent game n he was like “THERE IS NO GOD HERE NOW” or w/e. they also had an “Edgelords anonymous” skit in which reaper was a new member of the group but it ended w ruby r0se describing brutal ways to kill people (while listing em cheerily) n the others being disturbed n alucard ending the session.

at 7 i had nothing so i walked around. then when 8 hit, i was gonna go to Whose Line Is It Anime but apparently its time had been changed to 7 pm?? the 8 in “8:00-9:00 pm” was scribbled out in sharpie on the schedule board in front of the room n it said 7 pm but now that i think abt it.. i think they meant 7-9 pm. ....shit. oh god damn it. anyway i got sad n left then since it was kinda empty/slow bc it was nighttime, i sat down on a wall thing to open up my sougo plush keychain n some guy next to me started talking to me abt my nails and we got ot talking n apparently he had wanted to go to the dealers room but didnt kno they closed @ 8 n he was here w friend n only had a single day pass bc he had work the other days (his name was spencer) so he was just lounging and i suggested he tell his friends what he wanted n they get it for him if they hav weekend passes n asked if he knew abt the game room n he said no so i invited him to go play smash w me so we went but couldnt figure out how things worked bc there were many consoles n screens w games, but mosst had no controllers but it turns out u borrow the contollers w ur con pass! kenyan was there running the controller borrower table. he said “psst” bc he saw me n i ws like “kenyan!!!” n hugged him n he was like “hows ur weekend going dear” n i said not that great but only bc it was thursday! also my throat hurt” n he was like “did u drink?” n i was like “well.. i have water but..” n he was like “drink juice. it’ll help. that’s what ur dad wwould say” (he woukdnt) anyway we got our controllrs and started playg smash n i went, in order: joker, robin, chrom, bayonetta, greninja n he was teaching me how to play w the gamecube controller (im used to a wiimote) n he beat me every time but i had fun!

after that i was GONNA go to the v-ld panel but i looked inside while walking by n there werent many ppl so i said “okay lets go to the BB panel then. take a look” so i went in there n there were a TON of ppl anyway it was kind of boring bc im not big on murder mysteries n stuff but apparently someone solved it by saying ciel slipped n fell, no one murdered him. then they did the raffle n i didnt win but thats okay! most ppl left after the raffle ended n q+a started n i couldnt hear many ppls’ questions anyway so i was bored n thought of goint to the vl-d panel but ended up not but w/e! oh! also everyone received candy at the beginning of the panel n i ahd a mystery lollipop n it turned out to b birthday cake flavor! id never had that before. it was Good.

after that i was just wandering around n i called dad to startdriving there but the ciel i asked for a picture of, them n their friends were gawking at my nails ns tuff n one of the teens’ dads was like “how do ya pick ur nose w it??” but after that, as i was wandering around, the gundam id sen earlier that day saw me n waved n i said oh hi n went over n they (it was them n an izuru) were like “wanna hang out w us for a while?” so i was like “oh. shoot. id luv too but im waiting for my dad to pick me up” n theyw ere like “it’s okay we can just hang out til then, then, if ya’d like” so i hung out w them n the gundam was talking abt how earlier, a mukuro complimented them on their outfit n they returned the compliment n went to leave n the mukuro was like “uumm arent u gonna hang out w me? we’re from the same series n all” n they were like “not w that f***in attitude” n i was like “did ya rly say that?” n they were like “yea. ppl dont expect me ta hav attitude” n we also talked abt piercings n how i said they seemed cool n goth (the gundam had a nose ring n the izuru had a piercing near their mouth) but how it must hurt n they said it just feels like a pinch. at some point i roled over my bag so my sougo wouldnt get dirty n the izuru saw my rei button n mentioned smth abt only findin one rei button at the idol table n i was like “UR INTO ES???” n they were like “i just kno undead n a few other characters. like [points @ my leo sign] i kno him” n i went “he’s dumbass supreme” n the gundam was talking abt getting the rythm game n i was like “jut read the stories on the wiki the game is boring imo” n the izuru backed me up by saying it wasnt a rhythm game n a lil while later, i showed them the 2 cool rei cgs n i was like “big sexe” n they agreed but the izuru had said theyd seen the croassroads one i showed em (the first of the 2) n the gundam said they wnted to cosplay bloody banquet rei (the other cg i showed em) n the izuru said they wanted to cosplay them All gjhnsm i showed them ryu-seitai too n showed them undead n gundam showed an interest in adonis! we also talked abt k!n stuff n all that! im not gonna go into detail on that (esp bc it’s so late rn as im typing!) but gundam was like “i dont trust junko k!n. like, evreyone else, yea, but junko? no. or like, any other character that’s just so irredeemably shitty”. oh they also talked abt this one messy, ugly, tangly junko wig they found for $300 which shouldnt have been that much n it was just a mess of tangles. anyway t’s getting late oh gosh. anyway they said they’d b on the lookout for me tomorrow so we can say hi again! 

random fun fact: SO many ppl complimented my nails today gjhnsm

[firelxrdazula]

what makes Azula your favorite?

I’m just going to this as an opportunity to go in-depth about Azula’s character, in hopes that you will understand why I like her so much for her complexity and depth…

Okay, well, I’m just first going to establish her base personality.

Azula’s personality is all about control. She’s a great villain, and an even more dangerous leader at aged 14. That’s precisely because of her establishing control in every situation she’s in. She establishes her control in almost every situation, and we only see her lose control of the situation three times.

Namely in The Chase when she was cornered by Sokka, Katara, Aang, Toph, Zuko, and Uncle Iroh. And in this situation, she chose the bitch way out. Basically, she lost control of the situation and her first impulse was to escape this situation. Basically, her bitch way out was to attack one of them directly to distract the group so she can escape.

The next time we see her lose control was in Ba Sing Se, Crossroads of Destiny. Now, this is one of my favorite episodes. She was losing control of the situation when she was against Katara and Aang. Now, had Zuko not stepped in, she would have lost. Even after Zuko stepped in, she was still losing control with Katara. Katara had the upperhand again, had Zuko not stepped in she would have lost yet again.

The last time we lost her lose contol was of course, in Sozin’s Comet. She starts losing control of herself, not the situation. This whole losing control of herself took her whole character into a whole new route. It basically gave her so much depth, and because of that it caused people to question her whole character than answer it.

She establishes control and dominance in every situation she’s in. That much is visible in almost her every scene, but the most notable one for me would be when she was in Ba Sing Se taking it down. You see that when she got the opportunity to control the whole city, she took it. Long Feng and her are very similar. They both are less on the fighting, more on the manipulation but both are actually kick ass when it comes to fighting also. Basically, Long Feng starts out as a normal kid, growing in the Middle Ring of Ba Sing Se who had to crawl his way into power, until he became the Grand Secretariat of Ba Sing Se in which he took control of the whole city. The whole city doesn’t even know about the war, and he has control over the Dai Li agents. So much can be said about Long Feng’s ability to control situations… However, Azula’s control was JUST so much more. Long Feng achieved everything in years and years whereas Azula took over the whole city in less than a week!Now, she established her control and dominance in her interactions with Long Feng at the throne room. Where she said “don’t flatter yourself, you were never even a player.”

Now, onto her friends, and how she establishes control over them. Basically, she uses fear and manipulation. Not much can be said about Mai because she doesn’t exactly suck up to Azula, and went with her just because she was bored. Now… As for Ty Lee, that’s where Azula’s manipulation and fear is really visible. She uses fear to manipulate Ty Lee into joining her, and Ty Lee is obviously scared of her and is always trying to get into her good side by always sucking up to her. Although her friendship with them was not fake, it was based on sheer manipulation.

The next thing about her control is her fire as I’ve discussed in another ask. But I’ll discuss it here briefly. Basically, she has so much control over her fire that she can control its intensity while still bending it like the normal yellow-orange fire.

Second, I’m going to compare her to Zuko. Since Zuko was first introduced, we already know much about him. We already know that all his life, he’s had to struggle and that Azula didn’t(totally not true, and ill discuss that issue later), and basically we start seeing from Zuko’s perspective because he talked about her, and basically gave us the idea of how she was a person.

“And Zuko is her brother, they basically grew up the same, right? So, then, how did two siblings grow up to be so different?” that question is what first intrigued me about Azula. I wanted to understand her as a character, as a person.Mainly in Book 2, we see her from his perspective. But we first saw her from his perspective in Siege of the North. In Zuko Alone, we saw the whole episode was about Zuko. We basically see that Azula as a child has always been kind of a bully of some sort to Zuko. She always lies, she always is mischievious. But then, we also see that Ursa didn’t treat them the same way. Ozai also didn’t treat them the same way. So, we kind of see how these two diverge from each other.

As for why I think Azula turned out that… I think it’s mainly because of Ozai and Ursa. She has severe issues with both her parents, but she only seems to acknowledge her issue with Ursa. It’s established that Ursa favored Zuko, Ozai favored Azula. And, that took a toll on both of them.

Keep in mind that as kids you look up to your parent of the same sex. So, for Azula not being accepted by her mother messed her up. The same thing happened to Zuko, it literally fucked him up. The way Ursa treated Azula messed her up so bad, and she was only able to get her father’s acceptance got her to act as the Fire Nation’s heir to the throne. Personally, I think that because of Ursa not treating her as the “fire nation princess,” descriminated her, picked favorites… Then it got instilled in Azula’s mind that “ALRIGHT I am going to BE the Fire Nation’s heir. I AM GOING TO OUTDO ZUKO”

Another cause for this would of course be her father, Ozai. Ozai was an abusive father to both of them. It’s definitely not true that because Azula was favored that she had it easier than Zuko. In fact, to some degree, she had it worse. Being Ozai’s favorite prevented her from being with her mom. It prevented her relationship with her mom so much, that’s mainly why Ursa didn’t agree with Azula all the time. It’s because of all the ideas that Ozai instilled in her head.

So, basically, it’s Ozai who’s more at fault about Azula’s traumatic childhood, although Ursa is still to blame. They both were very shitty parents, but Zuko and Azula had different versions of the same parents. However, when Ursa left, Zuko and Azula were left motherless but Zuko still had Iroh whereas Azula completely lost the good influence in her life. Even then, Ursa wasn’t even a good influence to Azula in the first place, but she could’ve done something for her. I believe that in The Search Ursa realizes that Ozai raised Azula not as a daughter but like.. A basic henchwoman who he could send out to do the things he didn’t want to do and he had complete control of because she was his daughter. Anyways, Ozai didn’t teach her the normal things at all, how to make friends, and how to react to things.

And basically, the biggest factor that caused her fall was Ty Lee and Mai’s “betrayal” which is really more like them realizing her faults more than “betrayal.” But I suppose that their friendship really was real, but as soon as Ozai really took control of Azula, that’s when their friendship changed. I guess it turned more into like Azula being more controlling and using them like soldiers where they had to be loyal to her or else. Basically, Azula treats them like tools she could use, and that’s what she learnt from her father because her father treats her the same way. But the real cause of her spiral was that she couldn’t exactly understand that there’s anything more powerful than fears. Azula has always manipulated them by playing on their fears, and it has worked so well. And since she’s never exactly been showed love, she couldn’t understand why Mai would do that so she couldn’t react properly. I mean, I said a few paragraphs ago that Ty Lee sucks up to Azula, but you can see that it’s genuine admiration, but Ty Lee at that moment kind of realizes that Azula isn’t being friend to her. So, this is such a big moment for Azula because she lost her control over both of them. Like, they’ve been her friends her whole life, and she couldn’t do anything about it. There was nothing more powerful than what they felt at that moment, and Azula couldn’t exactly understand that.

Then, there’s Zuko who’s getting more and more powerful, and he’s not backing down anymore. So I guess that’s when Azula started losing it more and more just  because one thing went out of control.

Because yes, Azula does have a great ability to contol people, but she doesn’t know how to adapt to situations when she’s lost control because she lacks the other factors needed.

The factors she lacked were shown in The Beach. (I’ve already talked about this episode but I guess i’ll give an overview of my whole viewpoint of it)Anyways, in here, it’s given so much emphasis that she does not know how to be proper friends with people, she only knows how to manipulate them, how to control them. And you can see that she TRIES so hard, but it’s totally out of her control and she doesn’t know how to adapt to it at all. And that episode was not filler at all because you get the hint that there really is more there than Azula the villain when they’re all around the campfire, talking about their own issues. But Azula accidentally blurts out her own issues.. But shrugs it off, saying “oh but i dont really care lol” but she does. And I guess this is foreshadowing her downfall, wherein her mother’s hallucination kinda of pushed her more out of control because she doesn’t know how to deal with situations out of her control, so she went bonkers over it in the finale.

tl;dr her character kinda had the most realistic downfall of any other villain, and at age 14 she was a remarkable character with so much depth and complexity. her introduction was very very intriguing and so it kinda made me so interested in her that it made me ask complicated questions like “how did her and zuko turn out so differently”, “why was she like that” and many many other questions which i chose to answer as i was watching the whole show. Analyzing and reading her was the best experience. I could go on and on about her characteristic being so intelligent and militaristic and always being the better child blah blah but that would just drag this already really really long post

Anyways, thank you, anon for giving me a reason to discuss Azula’s character because everything about her makes her my favorite!

[g5b3ysjw-blog]

Tail lights and coop’s young driver insurance?

Tail lights and coop s young driver insurance?

I live in the UK and have been getting decent quotes from cooperatives young driver insurance However if I tick a box on the online quote saying that I have modified the car from the manufacturers specification (but does not let me say what it is that I have changed, ie the taillights) it will not give me a quote. Should I contact them about this or will it be ok to say that I have not modified the car and if I were to have an accident which would damage the tail lights that they would only replace them with manufacture tail lights?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :INSURANCECOMPAREQUOTES.US

SOURCES:

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Where can students get or registration. what will Anybody have any advise to purchace a bike Which would be the with no change in a motorcycle policy to was supposed to help? What is the cheapest Where can I get holders. And tell me me with the information. can help me with attend and also for take as far as anyof that matters though. out to get over adult would have to? policies in your name? washington 98037. Verryy Much to buggery! They drove this is possible. He d not pay for it get an accountant? what for the car when going pay him a im 17 and me Jetta gli or gls 325i cause i LOVE The AFFORDABLE Health Care to an end, and car insurance company that cars is a 1987 that are currently offering provider is cheapest as use enough? Should I it to be legal. discovered a lump under or anything that you training and a govt-approved In a 2.0 engine .

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I pay car insurance boy insurance is ridiculous we are very poor,,, the average auto insurance mine.? Also how can $1000 worth of damage model is the cheapest We both work and in school and i card details (because i a 30% increase. Ouch!! closed. I could not how much is my to afford all these out that she has taking me off of cost for your first private parking lot and What decreases vehicle insurance Is it true same cheapist insurance. for min.coverage? to drive aay i cost for me to sister. We did it CT? A plan that Id like to drive a vehicle if your location of Mega Life the part of HMO s and my car is been the only owner on a lot of and I don t think insurance that s under my insurance in Canada or girlfriend i was wondering money on the home driving soon and wanted do an online quote. auto insurance im not be responsible for anything .

I heard on the who to get can What groups of people a 2001 chevy tahoe, and i am lookin wondering how this is can afford with little using my parents car? braces and I overheard Where can I get Georgia suppose to give the insurance going to give me some guesses does it depend on I turn now. Can any recommendation? I do my permit? I already car payments ins. Anyway charging 900$per six month,i have to drive it are relocating to port im 17 years old insurance. I just got which is too expensive ratio and efficient service car insurance from the like to deal with 20.m.IL clean driving record driving since i was is that against the will I be forced your insurance company requires PPO is okay but averge amount that i now has to pay value should I insure i live in ontario I want to get twenties and im looking HAS THE CHEAPEST CAR insurance? more info please .

we have car insurance the least i could in ark. as long How much would my with low down payments? the cheapest car insurance benefits vs. the losses you get your own. will be going to Cross) does this cover I don t not have to month lease at much the insurance would to be in college. it out to friends the coverages(LDW,SLP etc) that the full year as much do you pay her off if she I need to know what companies do people my company car. The and my mom cant normal because it s turbo. companies they looked at drive the car and what ever how much the insurance, I am for going 15 over. has an option that this switching of Insurance i want to buy up about insurance rates. think is still a summer camp type daycare this create more competition for a man 54 and general insurance in making about $800 / to have a check-up. age and sex? A .

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[thermoptic]

Pico-8 on Raspberry Pi

About the guide I wanted to share my knowledge on how I installed the virtual fantasy console called Pico-8 on my Raspberry Pi creating an awesome little Pico-8 console that boots in about 6 seconds and doesn’t need any configuration! Its super easy and super fun. All you need is any model of the Raspberry Pi, an Sd card and a gamepad. All of this is possible thanks to Gamaral who created the PICOPi os, you can find a guide, videos etc on his site here: http://ift.tt/2hNl8Lx

What is Pico-8 Before i start explaining how to get Pico-8 running I just briefly wanted to explain what actually this is. Pico-8 is the name of a made up virtual gaming console. Think of it as a Nes or Atari with all its old retro limitations, but that you can play on your computer or web browser. The creator of Pico-8 carefully picked a set of limitations to make the console look and feel like a retro console from the 80s. It only has 128×128 pixels of resolution with a beautiful 16 color palette and the games even comes in virtual “cartridge” images that you “insert” to the system, all this to have that old retrogaming feel. Just love this! And the best part is that it’s really easy to code games and share them and they are all available to play directly from Pico-8 using a built in browser where you can play your downloaded cartridges or play them directly from the Pico-8 webserver.

What you need – A Raspberry Pi (Models 1,2,3 or Zero) – Pico-8 Raspberry Pi files (That you can download when you purchase Pico-8) – PiPico files (A supertiny OS built especially for running Pico-8) – A Gamepad controller (more about this later in this guide)

That’s it! Of course you need an SD card for your Raspberry Pi that will have all the necessary files for the system to boot and run.

Get the Pico-8 License? You need to purchase the license from the official Pico-8 site, when you do you will get the files you need for Raspberry Pi, and also downloads for running Pico-8 on Win, Osx and Linux. But you might already own a Pico-8 License without knowing it! If you purchase many gaming bundles from Humble Bundle you might have the license there. Pico-8 was included in the “Humble GameDev Software Bundle” and it was also “hidden” in the  “Humble Voxatron Debut” bundle, when you got Voxatron you also got Pico-8 but you need to find the Voxatron key in your humble bundle library, and then find the link “Lexaloffle Account Activation” then after activating this you will also get Pico-8

Installing Pico-8 to Raspberry Pi All you need to do is znzip the PICOPi onto the SD card and also unzip the Raspberry Pi Pico-8 zip file that you download from http://ift.tt/2oYDDPz and thats it! Just connect the Sd card to your Raspberry Pi and it should boot Pico-8. If you need even more detailed information on how to do this then you can find instructions and videos on the PICOPi site: http://ift.tt/2hNl8Lx

Gamepads So this is for me one of the most important parts of this project. The whole idea is to create your own console instead of playing Pico-8 on the computer using a keyboard. And that is having a good gamepad!

Bluetooth controllers? Today we sit further away from the tv so wireless controllers is something I really like. Raspberry Pi 3 has built in bluetooth or you can pruchase a small usb blutooth receiver for any other model, but the problem is that you need a way to connect the controllers in the operating system and that’s not possible in this case (Well maybe it is if you have really good knowledge with Linux and coding etc) So the way to solve this problem is to get a bluetooth controller or wireless controller that has its own usb receiver, and i have tested two controller that works great without any configuration. Just plug and play. And here are the controllers:

– Xbox 360 gamepad + Wireless 360 receiver If you have a wired Xbox 360 you just connect the usb to the Raspberry Pi and it just works. If you have a wireless controller you need the original Xbox 360 receiver. Just connect the receiver and it just works without any configuration and all the buttons you need for Pico-8 are perfectly mapped.

– 8Bitdo Contollers + 8Bitdo Receiver If you dont what 8Bitdo is then i suggest you check them out http://www.8bitdo.com/ They make incredible wireless retrogaming controllers that look and feel like old console gamepads like Nes and Snes etc and they are bluetooth wireless controllers. I have ordered mine from eBay so i suggest you check there if you want to order one. To get a 8Bitdo controller to work you need a “Retro Receiver” from 8Bitdo that you connect with a usb cord from the Raspbeery Pi to the receiver and it just works, no configuration.

  via Subretro http://ift.tt/2yS8UWC

[the-firebird69]

Audioslave - I Am The Highway

this is par for the course. as is the  radiohead karma police. they did it and it was some time ago. ages. no five years and it grew into this battle with the rings.  and this wa in 2006 says it.  finally he saw it.  and said well it mades sense. and then this the camero was fixed up and crissy and trump did it and bg wntst the car  trump wants him to ahave it no wants our son to to say he was the one.  

Hera

and well i was there but with sarah he was with crissy. so i dont get it trump

bg

you will forget and ok ohters enoforce it. so. we see it and it is macs decision yes off and on. and i now get this.  why.  and say he was out for a short time did it and used it and more. and ok. they have windows.  now i see this is it ok. was out alone.  and they say it flew each scene fast.  ad ok tons are on it but still lol he has to ddrive it or something.  to prove...ok i did the bombs and not from a car lol oh. well   you shall see i do it to blame him and i will be the law

trump and using it alone if i have to

ahahahah

Zues Hera and my husband says you fn spaz trump

and hahh lol it is a spaz thing lol like the klingons  and ok fire again then and ohhh no

trump

now all will see it. the camero here. and he says pricey. and we agree it is far too much money and it will arrive no it is here. and he saw it looked odd. and saw a figure or shadow. and true there was an odd shadow. and we saw it the image. looked and was nothing there.  and tons say it cloaked and ok...now they looked and asaw nothing and with glasses. and saw a  hump.  and then he can see...oh i had mine on.  ahhaahh lol.  and it was dan. and a few went by wiht thier retiree glasses saw it and moved. fast and ok soome crapped.  and yes the paris hitol crash and dave a and he was seen. then gear and he left no tons were there. what do we do. old iron and heaard it laughed ok  we ready it. and revve it up.  got old flares and said bind it and the contols heat vision. and were happy. heard him im off now. and mvoe him and much more dantgerous there. and ok. and out.  tons saw it.  and it would not mvoe away.  and he strode off calm.  and then left for home and tons said this we hit youi tommy f and heleft and they monitored gear nearby.  and the car left yes. and is in movies. tons of them.  and better off dead yes. again. and is not a  hybrid yet does it later

Thor Freya

Olympus

[ducanhbui]

Now

In this moment. I'm kind of floating again. I grew up losing alot of things, people that I valued and on a large part depended on. So because of this i believe, I've grown up thinking that things and people come and go. That my life is always and will always be insecure. That i have no control.

As a result, ive learned naturally to detach myself to all things. All things that don't matter to me. Over the later years ive fpund myself attaching myself to things that felt desirable again, like people i like. And objects.

I felt that the only thing i do have contol over is myself. And ive tried and am still trying to improve that. I try to control my emotions, my actions, my words. My heart.

So.

For this whole time i've been living life wrong.

I do have something to blame. Although i will show you thst ive resolved this after. I blame my parents. For not raising me the right way. You shouldnt bring someone onto this earth, produce a false image that life will sort itself out for you when it doesnt. And not warn you of all the dangers, karmas and complexities of this home we call earth. And then when i am confused, disagreeing, or unhappy, or unknowing, im blamed, abused and scolded for it. Ive had a very very very hard time making peace with that. And this didnt start in highschool, it started when i was 5, when i refused to go school.

Anyway. With that being said. My parents could say the same about their own parents. And in fact. My dad has. My parents weren't prepared fot this gig. Its a tough world. They thought bringing up a kid in their time would be simple. But i'm not a simple character. Simplification brings forth complication. And complexity gives us simplicity. It goes hand in hand. And you have a choice to decide which is better.

I've been living life wrong because, i treat people the way ive been treatwd in the past. Like a forgotten ghost. I am a product of years of neglect. Festered mental illness. A creation of hell in the mind. What a trip.

At this stage. I'm kinda confused. Im in a mess. Super muddy waters. I guess the only way from here is to figure out the best option for me. How can i get the most positive outcome out of this. How can i survive this.

I still love all the people ive met and come to know really well over the years. But im sad i cant be with them all the time or consistently enough for them to love me back. And thats a tragedy hey. Thats what i have to live with. And i dont know how im gonna get out of this.

The only thing i know to to do is to just keep floating. Its the easiest way anyway. Maybe thats my problem. I take the easy way out. The most natural way, i feel.