#and hitting it off and becoming rly good friends

[jackshiccup]

some modern hijacks for the soul (and bumping shoulders as a love language)

shoutout @midoristeashop for these swag brushes <3

[garoujo]

DATING SIMULATOR — NAGI SEISHIRO

・✶ ｡ﾟnagi kinda wishes he’d played more dating simulators before he thought about confessing to you.

♱ warnings — f!reader, reader is reo’s roommate, friends -> lovers, mutual pining, cunninglingus, creampies, party setting, alcohol mentioned but not consumed, all characters written 22+ wc: 7k / note. finally ! i have written my longest fic 2 d8 n it’s all 4 my bbie boy seishiro ! i rly hope u guys enjoy sob <3 fank yew mosh @/saetoshis 4 reading thru 4 me ilysm !

“oops, a headshot.” nagi mumbles from where he’s lying on his stomach on his bed, feet kicking behind him as his fingers tap carefully at the screen of his phone. he’s not moved in a while, he’ll probably eat soon but hes so close to upping his online ranking he thinks that could maybe wait for another game or two.

“die.” his character fires another few shots before he feels his phone vibrate against his palms, his eyes barely casting the notification a glance before he’s back to focusing on the target infront of him.

reo : i’m throwing a party this weekend, you’re coming.

reo : don’t even think about trying to ditch, i know you’re off practice cause so am i.

nagi groans before he readjusts his elbows, not giving it another thought before he’s back to focusing on his game, continuing the rest of his daily missions as his friend gives him a moments peace before he texts again.

reo : i know you’re getting these, quit ignoring me.

he doesn’t let this one stick around as long as the last ones did before he’s swiping it away from his screen, a small pout settling on his lips when his wavering focus causes him a little more hp than he could afford to lose as he leans closer to his phone.

another few shots, followed by another sharp vibration of his phone before nagi huffs, this message was different than the last and he hates the way this is the one that catches his attention, just as he was about to score another headshot too.

reo : y/n will be there. you gonna leave them to get hit on by someone else?

he guesses reo’s always been persistent. he clears his throat as he lets his drowsy gaze scan over the text at the top of the screen, followed by another sigh when it ultimately costs him the rest of his hp as a game over flashes across the screen.

“ah, i died.. whatever.” nagi murmurs under his breathe as he rolls over onto his back to finally click on the notification, snowy bangs framing his drowsy gaze as he lets himself read over the newest text from reo once more. obviously you’ll be there, you and reo are roommates.

you’d become somewhat of a consistent in his life, you’d sort of slotted into place when he’d met you the first time he visited reo’s new apartment. he doesn’t think you’re a pain to be around, but you rejecting him and not wanting to hang around with him anymore would be.

even with his limited romantic (and platonic) experience, no one despite a few from the team have found his company to be as desirable as you do, and the thought still makes his head spin whenever he thinks too hard about it — about you.

he doesn’t really know why reo even needed a roommate, he had enough money to rent his own place but then.. he wouldn’t have met you if it weren’t for him, nagi thinks before he feels himself cringe at how cheesy he’s being as his fingers hover over the keyboard.

you were pretty and kind, you’re not the sort of person who would ever normally show that sort of interest in somebody like him so he was surprised when you did. you never pushed him for conversation and he can’t deny the way you made something burst and warm along his skin the first time you’d asked to watch him play when it was just you two.

although hes pretty sure reo had left you both alone to go the store deliberately.

you’d started buying in lemon tea and melon bread for the apartment, making sure there was a few of the things he likes just incase he came over to visit — it was nice, unfamiliar but it felt good. like every interaction he had with you was an exp boost closer to a level up.

it’s not like nagi ever planned to act on his feelings, fuck—he’d have completely ignored them altogether if reo wasn’t the one to point them out. saying he acted different when you were around, maybe he did.. he was less focused on his games, actually offered a little more to conversation if you were taking part in it.

was he that obvious? “ah, cringe.” he groans outwardly this time before he allows himself another shuffle around his bed, just until he’s able to stuff his face into the pillows with a grumble before peering back up at the text that’s suddenly mocking him. maybe he should play more dating simulators.

nagi : i’ll pass, sounds like a pain.

reo : goddamit, where’s your ego?

it’s almost too quick the way reo replies to his message, like he knew what he was about to say as he begins to load up his game again — guess that comes with dealing with the “game addict bothersome prince.” but nagi knows he’s never been one to take no for an answer.

—

“i don’t know why you keep pressing this, reo. nothings going to happen.” you sigh as you let yourself rest on your elbows across the kitchen island, your irritated eye-movement bringing your gaze to your amethyst haired roommate across the room, who’s sending you a smug look as he places his phone back down on the table after sending his friend another text.

“maybe it’s cause i know our ultra genius likes you, and you like him! two idiots in love, this is gonna be fun.” reo grins, smirk in place as he watches you roll your eyes and turn away from him, busying yourself with something else in the hopes it’ll end this conversation — it doesn’t. you guess reo’s always been persistent.

“you gotta be there to get him motivated, that’s the deal or else he’ll just get bored and leave.” you click your tongue at his words, sending him another irritated look over your shoulder at the way he’s treating your feelings like some bargaining chip despite the way you know it’s harmless.

“who cares, hes not gonna confess. this is seishiro we’re talking about.” you huff, ofcourse you liked nagi — there was a certain charm to the snowy haired striker than you couldn’t seem to resist, sure he was a little subdued but he was sweet, funny in his own little dorky way and a little stupid in a way that made you wanna see more.

you felt like you’d grown with him as he got more comfortable with you, like everytime you met him he was revealing more of himself to you than the last time you met, he’d even began deliberately sitting in spots that could fit two — opting for the couch rather than the armchair he used to when he visited.

you began to find a certain joy in the things that he enjoyed, and watching him pick up certain habits and interests of yours felt like a sort of reward after how gruelling it was to get him to open up.

but that’s just the sort of person nagi was you realised, and it was sort of nice to see it — to see him, but that’s also why you’re perfectly fine just pining for him like you have been, because why should you risk losing all the progress you’d tried so hard to make, why would you risk losing him?

“hey.” reo grunts, it’s low and just loud enough to demand your attention before he tilts his head slightly at you, raising a brow like he knows he’s just disturbed you from your thoughts. “he’s a pain in the ass but, he’d surprise you, y’know.”

—

what a pain, this is so stupid.. nagi grumbles internally from where he’s standing in front of you and reo’s apartment — he can feel the low thump of the bass through the door and he already feels the urge to just turn on his heels to go home and play video games, but why can’t he?

why is he even here? he asks himself as he lets his fingers pinch around the bangs that frame his face — sighing a little low as he stuffs his other hand into the pocket of his hoodie. he did spend a whole lot of time getting ready, looking in the mirror and thinking about whether you’d like this before he cringed at himself again. this was becoming a bad habit.

“ehhh, this is so tiresome. i just wanna play video games.” nagi hums, but his body betrays him when his words are followed by a knock on the door — one that’s immediately answered by a particularly smug looking reo as he smirks at him.

“look who decided to come, ultra genius.” reo teases, cheeky and nagi sends him a drowsy, steely sort of look in reply, although the exasperation goes unnoticed when his gaze drops and he’s tapping away at his phone, brushing past him to get into the apartment. “you’re so annoying, reo. you made me come.”

“absolutely not! you wouldn’t have came if you didn’t want to.” nagi already feels sweaty and stuffy around the buzzing atmosphere, he’d much rather go home and take a bath but then he sees your little tells around the apartment that tells him you’re here— your jacket, your favourite mug that you always complain about reo drinking out of—and they somehow keep his feet rooted to where he is now.

“eh, it’s just cause your sofa is comfortable. you spend too much money on that stuff.” he’s lying and reo knows it, but he spares him the embarrassment because he’s here — who knows how long for but he’ll take it.

nagi’s always thought it was entertaining the way his bestfriend could entertain a crowd — popular guy thing i guess, he thinks to himself as he sinks deeper into the couch cushions, lower half of his face tucked into the neckline of his oversized hoodie as he sits among the rest of his teammates. not really absorbing any of the information as he tries to discreetly let his eyes wander around the room.

he’s been stuck on the same level for a while, it’s like he can’t entirely focus — blame the slightly intoxicated players or the loud music blasting through the halls of the apartment, or maybe it’s something else — someone else.

reo picks up the shift in nagi’s exterior, watches the way his bestfriend shuffles uncomfortably on the couch between long sighs, fingertips flexing against his phone with what he can assume is another loss and he’d help him out any other time, but this was something he wanted him to do alone — for his own ego, and for you.

the snowy-haired male gives himself a few more hits, a few more revives before it really gets to him — makes him sit up a little straighter as he turns his phone back vertically and opens up his texts, he knows you’re here, but where?

nagi : you at the party? it’s loud, gonna run away now :x

nagi’s cringing at himself when he feels heat burst along his neck, it was just a text to a friend but somehow he can’t help but leave it open to wait for your reply, swallowing thick when he watches the little text bubble appear at the bottom of the screen before it disappears just as quickly.

you : in my room, bored already? you can come in.

he was still a little awkward despite how often you both were in eachothers company, he still got stuck on words and liked to let the silence linger but that was just him and it was never uncomfortable. but now he’s going to be alone with you, in your room and he can feel his heart kick at his chest at the thought.

nagi gives it a few seconds, not wanting to seem too eager before he’s biting on the inside of his cheek and stuffing his hands into his pockets as he stands. reo notices, raising a brow in question — wordlessly, although they’ve been friends long enough for him to pick up on it.

“bathroom.” he doesn’t know why he’s too nervous to say where he’s actually going, his answer is falling from his lips before his brain has time to catch up. but reo gives him a look, one that tells him he’s not quite convinced as he fails to hide the soft, knowing smirk of amusement that’s twitching at the corners of his lips. “i’ll allow it.”

nagi’s body feels like it moves on instinct as it carries him through the long stretch of apartment, allowing the warm air from the party to roll over his features as he passes by teammates and people he’s never even seen before.

but he’s struck with a sudden wave of anticipation and nerves when he finally stands outside your bedroom door, arm raised to knock despite the way he’s almost frozen still — he’d probably look really weird if someone was to see him creeping outside of your room right now, that’d be such a pain if people thought he was even weirder.

“you can come in, sei.” you call with the first wrap of his knuckles along the wood, and the sweet ring of your voice feels like it shoots electricity into nagi’s stomach with how it drips through him at first. but then he exhales as he enters, and the tension in his body somehow softens when he takes in his first look at you.

he thinks you’re too pretty for your own good, he can still see the outfit you must’ve had on for the party underneath the blanket that’s draped over you now with your laptop resting on your lap. you’re a sight that makes him swallow rough as he lets his drowsy gaze flicker over you, although the leap in his chest is a sort of effect you’ve always had on him.

“you lasted longer than i expected.” nagi notices the way your sentence trails off at the end, he hears the whispery, breathy, pouty sound your lips make as you lean back against the bedframe and pat the space next to you — urging him to come closer as a grin twitches at your lips and he feels his heart race.

“eh, was such a drag anyway.” he sounds tired but his voice is still as smooth as it always is when he speaks to you, not that you notice any difference but his reply still makes you laugh softly as he takes his first careful step into your space.

every stride he takes feels bigger than usual until your eyes raise up to look at him from where he’s stood at the edge of the bed, and he lets himself press his bangs between his fingers awkwardly before he’s falling into his place beside you with a huff.

“wow, mattress feels so good. way comfier than mine.” nagi murmurs and you fail to suppress a little smirk at his words, making his cheeks burn pink at the feeling of your eyes suddenly cutting into him, and he feels his heart race when the mattress dips under your weight as you get comfortable.

“it was reo’s old one, that’s why it’s so comfy. it was probably stupid expensive.” he mentally trails off with a nervous swallow before he’s fishing his phone out of his pocket. he only offers you a low hum in response as he tries to take his mind off the fact you’re both on the same fucking mattress right now, and he suddenly feels too incredibly warm under his clothes.

there’s a bout of silence and nagi can feel his heart kicking at his ribs with every beat, nervously glancing you up and down whenever he feels you shuffle in your place next to him before his eyes are back on his phone — although not really paying much attention to the cutscene that plays.

“do you wanna watch something?” you ask, the question drawn out and slow as you flick through the netflix menu on your laptop screen, and it’s hard for him not to get lost in the dreamy drawl your voice takes as it draws him closer. he clears his throat as he leans in, letting his eyes flicker over the screen with every press of your fingers against the mousepad before he answers.

“hm, nah. whatever you wanna watch ‘s fine. i’m just gonna play games.” nagi’s voice takes a more whispery tone, he blames it on the suddenly close proximity that only seems to get closer when he rests himself back. he’s suddenly able to feel the press of your body into his side with the way the mattress has sunk beneath you both, and hes pretty sure his mind scrambles at the touch.

he can smell hints of your perfume on your sheets and he’s watching you like every move you make is enchanting, making his fingers twitch against his phone screen before he’s kicking his feet under the comforter that’s thrown haphazardly half way down — he might aswell be comfortable.

but you don’t say anything back to him, you just tilt your head to the side with a pretty little pout as your fingers curl against the mouse pad again, before you’re clicking some random movie nagi’s pretty sure you’ve both seen a few times already.

he clears his throat again when he feels you sit back beside him, scooting closer unintentionally while his eyes narrow on the cutscene he’s still got playing on his screen and you push back gently into your place. but he can feel his focus wavering with the warm press of your skin against his side again, and he has to remind himself how to breathe — how the hell is he supposed to win this game?

“we’ve seen this. don’t you get bored watching it again?” he begins, trying so desperately to focus on fucking anything other than how close you are to him right now. but then your drawl vibrates through the room and nagi swears he feels it in his gut when you turn to send him an adorable little pout over your shoulder.

“no, cause then i know when the good parts are coming up.” you’re so fucking close, he thinks as you share a long look and his head tilts with a sigh despite the way his lips curl into a soft smile, making one of your own break through your features.

“ehhhh, that’s so stupid, then there’s no surprises to look forward to — you’ve ruined all the best parts already.” nagi drawls, and his body feels like it burns when you blink at his words before you laugh. the sound does horrible things to his heart, makes his fingers shaky, but he hides it well when he sees your little smug smirk.

“i thought you were just gonna play games.” you reply quickly, tilting your head back to tease him and he lets his sleepy gaze trail along the newly exposed skin of your neck, making his own flare hot and it takes him a while to respond, but he does.

“‘cause your movies too loud ‘nd you’re making me lose — it’s such a pain. ah, see.. i died.” there’s a fire in the room that almost consumes you both when your grin twitches at nagi’s teasing and your eyes stare into his as he looks over you, carefully blank despite the pink that dusts his cheeks and the sweating of his palms, his racing heart drowning out any other sounds as you both take a breath.

“seishiro..” you whisper and the soft, careful sound of your voice makes him feel like he suddenly can’t get quite enough air with each breath. he makes a weak sound when he feels you suddenly cling at him, tugging him in for a kiss as he leans into meet you, sighing when he finally allows himself to taste you for the first time before he hears your laptop close and move from your lap a few moments later.

it’s short, too short when you both pull away but you don’t put more distance between you both than what already remains — your breathing fans over his cheeks and he feels the way your legs shuffle closer, knocking against his and he wants nothing more than to feel his skin on yours.

nagi feels a pang for his anxieties, sighing softly in an attempt to swallow down any concerns when he leans in again to brush his lips against yours once more. he feels your hand press against his chest and he half expects you to push him away, but you only pull him closer and he’s pretty sure you can probably feel the race of his heart even underneath his hoodie.

“seishiro..” you gasp again, it sounds different this time — a plea as you breathe deep with him but it lets him push his tongue between your lips before his hands reach out for you, exploring over the swell of your hips before he’s pushing himself onto his side to loom over you and pull you underneath him.

it’s almost immediate the way nagi feels your limbs wrap around him as he kisses you, it’s deep and messy, your fingers tangling in his hair as your thighs wrap around his hips to pull him closer and he bathes you in kisses that press you into the pillows he eases you back into.

that’s all you do for a while, let yourself be showered in the mindless press of his lips against yours — in the stroke of his large palms up your thighs and hips, squeezing at the skin before it’s accompanied with a stuttered roll of his cock into you that has him murmuring out a trembling apology.

“pretty thing..” nagi whispers, holding your waist as the kiss disconnects wet and his nose traces your cheek, steely gaze lidded when he pulls back to give you a look through his now even more mused bangs. “fuck, wanna give you more.. ‘s this okay?” he should’ve asked earlier, he realises with bated breath but then you arch with need — palming at his clothes with a sweet little plea that drives him fucking crazy and he thinks he might actually pass out.

you watch the way he gnaws on his lower lip before he leans in to continue kissing you, the hem of your skirt slinking up with his wrists as they smooth up your hips again, pushing the fabric up higher until it’s pooling around your waist and he groans at the heat he feels burst along his heavy, clothed cock.

nagi presses himself deeper into you as his large palms trail higher, taking a slow, languid handful of your tits from the outside before he curls his fingers around the flesh — squeezing softly until you’re whimpering and moaning against his mouth with every swipe of his thumb over the sensitive, firm flesh of your nipples through the fabric.

“does it feel good? wanna hear more of you—gimme even more, angel.” his voice cracks under the weight of his arousal as he feels the way your tits move beneath his palms, feeling you dig your head back against the pillows when every flick of his fingers is accompanied with another slow grind of his cock against your clothed pussy.

“need more, seishiro. i want you!” a ragged sound leaves you as nagi swallows it eagerly, swiping his tongue along yours before his hands are pulling at the low neckline of your shirt — pushing it down lower until it’s tucked under your tits and he breathes deep at the feeling of the new, intimate skin that’s suddenly bare for him to explore.

“hm? be patient w’ me, gotta make you feel good first.” he groans as he eases himself away from your lips, smearing soft kisses along your cheeks and jawline until hes making his way between the valley of your breasts and hes sending you a needy look from your chest.

you gasp with the first messy drag of his tongue along your hard nipple, his palm pressing deep into the other as he leaves careful, wet kisses along your sensitive skin with a whimper. “see, sure sounds like it feels good. wanna hear more of ‘em.. please?“ nagi breathes as he laps and slurps at your tits, tracing kisses along your skin to give the other just as much attention before his huge body is trailing even lower.

his warm fingers dig into the aching flesh of your thighs as his lips press onto your abdomen, swirling and dragging his tongue along the skin as he pushes up your shirt — a flush high on his cheeks with the uncomfortably, mindless throb in his cock that’s leaking against his sweats, but he needs more — not yet.

“gotta taste you, pretty thing.” nagi murmurs against your skin, hands careful when they trace along your thighs to carefully hook underneath your panties — sliding them down just as he leaves a suckled, messy kiss against your hip.

“hurry up already, want your mouth.” you whisper as you lift your head up to watch the way nagi leans back onto his knees over you, pulling down the flimsy fabric until it’s hanging around one of your ankles. he lets himself rest back down on his stomach to throw your thighs over his shoulders with a long sigh, huge body keeping your thighs spread wide as his breath fans over your slick folds.

“eh, no fair. gotta gimme a sec — wanna take my time w’ you.” he murmurs, his tone carrying the same lazy drawl as always despite the edge of desperation that makes you burn. he feels his whole body shiver with the first press of his lips against your cunt — easing past your folds to tease your clit as your thighs twitch around his cheeks, making his cock throb from where it’s pressed against the mattress.

“yum, pretty thing.” nagi drawls absentmindedly as he peers up at you through heavy eyes, curling his tongue around your pussy before he’s dragging it up higher to flick it over your clit — suckling at the bud softly as he watches you wiggle and twitch in time with his movements.

the way your fingers are twisting in his hair only urges him to press himself deeper into you, he already feels mindless on the taste of you as he groans against your folds. the low tone of his voice sending blissful vibrations straight through your clit as he gives your pussy another messy, eager lap with his tongue.

it’s so eager the way nagi’s drinking you up, like he’s pouring in the months of pining, eagerly giving himself up to you as he smacks and slurps at your slick, hoping it translates better than his words ever could. “oh, god—sei! fuck—“ he feels the way you’re dripping down his cheeks, almost babbling as he buries himself even deeper into you until his hips twitch with want, cock throbbing with the friction the small thrust grants him as he trembles.

your fingers twitch from where they’re twisting in his hair and the searing pain only makes him feel drunker on the taste of you, pressing his tongue against the entrance of your cunt before he’s groaning at the first needy squeeze your walls welcome him with.

you twitch when you feel the muscle graze past the sensitive nerves, his nose grinding against your clit with every eager swipe and smack as nagi pulls more needy, breathless sounds from your lips — dragging the orgasm out of you as his palms press into the underside of your thighs to push you wider.

but he doesn’t think he ever wants to stop when he feels the next breathless croon of his name fall from your lips like honey, the thump of the bass and the distant chatter from the party a wall over completely swallowed up by the ringing in his ears and the throb of his cock.

you let yourself pull at nagi’s hair and he fucking groans with how good he feels, eyes fluttering closed as his lashes kiss along his flushed cheeks. he lets you guide him back to where you need him most and he hums before he’s hooking his tongue around your clit once more, feeling the way the bud has grown firmer, more sensitive when he’s twisting and laving it in licks that you meet with eager, intoxicating twitches of your hips.

“fuck—‘m gonna cum, sei. ah—you’re gonna make me cum!” you gasp as you both breathe deep and his fingertips feel like they burn you as they squeeze into your skin, pulling you deeper into his mouth as he trails his tongue underneath the hood of your clit and closes his lips around it.

nagi suckles languidly as he rewards himself with another needy rock of his hips into the mattress, his movements stuttering with the way his cock fucking aches for the friction—for you, as you grind down onto his tongue, letting him bathe your pussy in mindless licks and rolls of the wet muscle.

“mmm, fuck— i’ll take it, princess. gimme it.” he babbles and you fucking tremble, his moans muffled against your slick folds as you feel warm bliss curl and lick down your spine with every eager roll of your hips.

you’re chasing the warmth you feel twist and heat in your abdomen and nagi’s just as eager to pull it out of you when you finally stiffen, pulling him deeper as your hips twist and your orgasm suddenly rolls over you in blissful waves that rock through you.

you hear him whine, long and low, with the first taste of your cream against his tongue as he slurps and drinks you up greedily — flattening his tongue against your folds before he’s bathing you in long licks, only stopping when you’re twitching from overstimulation and pushing him away with a whine.

nagi’s flushed to his chest when he pulls away to kneel between your thighs, cheeks to his chin glistening with your juices and he’s sweating hard underneath his hoodie with every shaky breath. the snowy peaks of his hair frame his features beautifully as he casts you a needy glance, and he shifts uncomfortably with the now embarrassingly obvious bulge that’s tenting his sweats as he tries to fix it slightly. “eh, cringe.”

“want me to do you?” you ask earnestly and he swears he feels his heart knock at his chest at the question, sending you a lazy, starry-eyed look that was almost too cute for the 190cm striker between your thighs.

if he’s being honest he wants nothing more but it’s dangerous, he’s already wound up tight from the taste of you — cock throbbing almost painfully where it’s smearing against his thigh. he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back, not with your warm throat hugging and squeezing around him.. he needs to be smart about this.

“nah, ‘ts fine.. just wanna feel all of you, pretty thing.” nagi grunts, voice wavering with the unsteadiness of his breath and underneath the weight of his arousal, his need.

“another time then?” oh now that really gets him, you’re already thinking about a next time with a slacker like him? another throb and choked whimper dies in his throat and fuck— if you keep looking at him like that he might just cum where he kneels right now.

nagi reminds himself to exhale before he replies, before he chokes and splutters on his words, and he follows it with an internal little yay in his mind before he speaks. “yeah, can owe me one then i guess.”

you’re still trembling from your orgasm when he leans down to kiss you, crawling back over you before you’re pulling at the hem of his hoodie to grasp at more of the muscle underneath. “is this glued to you, sei? take it off.” you giggle, lips still leaking with pretty little whimpers for him, and the small grin he sends you when he leans back to pull the fabric over his head makes you pulse.

“hey— don’t make fun ‘f me, ‘ts comfy.” nagi sighs with the sudden freedom he feels from the loss of the heavy fabric, shuddering when he feels your hands reach to explore his physique — feeling the hard, trained muscle flex under your palms when he feels your skin press tight against his.

“see, better.” you laugh again breathlessly, but it’s not mocking — it’s warm and comforting and accompanied by a smile that makes his cock jump, especially when it’s followed by your arms wrapping around his shoulders to pull him in for another kiss.

nagi lets himself look at you, heavy lids and parted lips as the kiss breaks wet and he feels your fingers trail down to his sweats, tugging at the waistband. he swallows thick when you pull down the restrictive fabric to let his heavy cock spring free — making him exhale with the sudden sexual freedom he feels as the cool air fans over the sensitive nerves.

he lets his palm rest against the inside of your thigh as he pulls back to loom over you, letting his hand wrap around the base of his cock before he’s giving himself a few rough strokes with his palm — twitching as he swallows the whimper that threatens to pour from his lungs.

“got way more for you, pretty thing. can do more than this.“ nagi’s voice catches as he hugs you closer, letting the blunt head of his cock swipe through your folds as his breathing hitches. he’s internally cringing at the effect you have on him already, his balls already feel so fucking tight, aching for release as he rubs your slick all over his cock.

he feels his cock throb in his hold when it catches against the flexing entrance to your pussy, urging him inside before he begins to sink into you with heavy breathes — resting his face in the crook of your neck as he buries soft, whimpered curses into your skin.

it almost hurts how deep it feels like nagi reaches, he’s long and thick, but he’s warm and it lights a fuse that fizzles into something that’s even better as it bursts along your skin — making his toes and fingers curl when he feels your pussy squeeze down on him eagerly, rewarding the stretch of his cock the deeper he goes.

you feel his large hands grope just a little too hard into your waist, making him stutter out a low whimper as he drags you along his cock — forcing your walls to spread open for him as he feels something ache deep in his stomach. there’s desire heavy in each laboured breathe he takes as he tries to keep a firm grip on his sanity now he’s finally wrapped in you.

“sure feels good, angel. fuck— how’s that fair? g’nna make me cum already.” nagi breathes, low and ragged, and you can only find it in yourself to reply with a sound that’s high pitched and needy when you finally feel the weight of his hips press tight against yours as he bottoms out.

“mmm, fu-uck..” his voice sounds needier than he expects and his eyes flutter closed when he finally pulls his hips back after a few moments, drawing his cock out of you as he feels the way your pussy squeezes down around him tight in response.

it’s like you’re trying to lure back in every inch you lose — begging nagi to press deeper into you before his fingers dig bruises into your hips and he’s doing just that, beginning a steady pace with another slow withdrawal and a staggered breath.

the first real, deep kiss of his cock has your toes curling as he hugs you closer — his face rests just over the crook of your neck so you can hear the way he pants and growls softly between your moans, smearing kisses against your cheek everytime he turns to take in the sight of you beneath him.

nagi feels mindless when your hips grind up to meet every heavy thrust, the pace hes set isn’t fast but the force behind it is — driven by the flex of his thighs and abdomen as his strong grasp keeps you in place. it felt nice to put in effort like this, for you — spurred on by the sweet sounds that break from your throat, your voice taking a dreamier lull than hes used to — it’s more needy, more intoxicating.

your body claps against his as he kisses over your skin, lips gliding along your heightened nerves so softly it has you twitching — squeezing down around him until his breathing hitches and it’s almost like he feels the tight hug of your cunt in his fucking lungs.

“you feel good.. dammit, i don’t wanna stop.” nagi’s words are emphasised by a particularly slow grind, grazing his pelvis against your swollen clit until you’re jolting at the small aftershock that races through you — still sensitive from your orgasm as his cock digs out the next.

he feels your nails grab at his shoulders, no doubt leaving pretty crimson marks along the muscle there before his pace inevitably speeds up. he’s gripping so tight into your hips he’ll surely leave bruises as he gives more to you — more than he ever has to anyone else as you bask in the pleasure only he brings you and give back all that you can.

nagi buries himself back into the crook of your neck with the next sinful squeeze of your walls around him — making his hips stutter as he buries another ragged whimper into your skin. he repositions his knees to begin a pace that’s a little faster, needier until each smack of his hips is loud and clapping and every quick thrust leaves you breathless, beginning to lose his pace as he presses deep into your body.

“gimme what i need, angel. fuck—can gimme another one. c’mon.” he gulps, words like his own plea as he lets his fingers trace between your bodies to roll your puffy clit in sticky circles, pairing it with the back and forth stutter of his hips as he digs your orgasm out of you — breathing hard when he feels your pussy throb around him.

“mhm, can give you another, fuck! gonna cum again, sei..” you cry for him and nagi groans low as his hips press snug and tight against yours with the first milking compression of your walls around his cock. he’s panting against your neck as he coaxes and eases you through another mind-numbing orgasm, the pleasure hitting you so hard and good it almost hurts as you cream around him.

“fuck, pretty thing. g’nna make me cum, lemme give it to you.” he doesn’t stop even when you’re panting and gasping with each shockwave of bliss he fucks through you, feeling his cock finally throb inside of your soaked pussy as he gives into the needy coax of your body — rewarding you with the orgasm you’ve earned from him, the one you own.

nagi pulls away to kiss you as he cums, whining long and low against the soft press of your lips as he cums thick and heavy inside of you, shuddering when he feels your tongue push against his and he almost pins you completely underneath him as he continues to fuck into your sensitive pussy.

you both bask in the drowsy, sleepy storm that follows after as his larger body blankets you — only rolling off of you when you tap your palm against his back to make sure he’s not actually fallen asleep where he is right now.

but nagi lets his arm rest underneath your head as he rolls onto his side to look at you, his gaze still cloudy from pleasure but barely visible behind the mess of slightly sweaty bangs that fan over his features. the sight of him only seems to draw you closer, and he encourages you to cuddle up next to him as his arm curls around you.

“‘m sweaty and sleepy.. i wanna take a bath, but don’t wanna leave yet.” he grumbles, still breathless as his free hand covers over his eyes — pinching at the hair that hangs there as you both catch your breath. he’s a little nervous if he’s honest, maybe you’re about to be hit with some post-nut clarity and kick him out.

but then you laugh suddenly, a breathy sound as you pant softly with him and nagi’s lips threaten to curl into a smile at the sound, feeling you pat at his chest before you answer him. “you’re literally an athlete.” you tease, like nothings changed — your palms still warm where it presses into his skin and his heart still races when his eyes meet yours.

“zombie nagi.” he sighs and you start laughing even harder before you lean closer to press a kiss against his cheek — making him tilt his face away from you to try and hide the blush that hasn’t left him since he came into the room. “you’re a weirdo.”

“yeah i get that a lot.” nagi whispers, heart thudding in his chest underneath your hand and you grin as you pet across his pectorals before turning to press a kiss along his bicep that pillows you.

“i like it though.” you nod as you nuzzle into the skin and he leans in to rest his lips against your temple before he speaks this time, a casual little act of intimacy that makes him sigh happy with the press of your body against his as he pulls you closer. “thanks.”

you both lie like that for a few more seconds, content with the feeling of being wrapped in eachother before nagi feels his phone vibrate from underneath one of the pillows, groaning when he reaches around for it before giving his screen a lazy, lidded look.

reo : you get lost on the way to the bathroom? i better not have to pay off the neighbours cause of noise complaints.

“what a pain, maybe we should go to my apartment. ‘ts less bothersome there.”

© 2022 garoujo. please do not copy any of my layouts or writing and translate or repost onto any other sites.

[pedroshotwifey]

Bad Idea

Pairing: Frankie Morales x F!Reader

Word Count: 3.3k

Tags/Warnings: NO use of Y/N, sex pollen, dubcon but not rly (just putting this here bc of the pollen), piv sex, softdom Frankie, smut, fluff, friends to lovers, Frankie is a fucking sweetheart, oral sex (f receiving), breeding kink if you squint, unsafe sex (wrap it before u tap it, babes), ill add more shit later if I missed something

Summary: While on a mission, you and Frankie find yourselves covered in some kind of pollen and realize that there is no chance you'll be able to resist each other.

A/N: Sorry it took so long for me to finish this, I hope it was worth the wait! I'm not really sure what compelled me to make this so fluffy, but it's there, so, like, I hope you people like fluff. Likes, comments, and reposts are extremely appreciated <3 (Also feel I would love to start getting some requests in if anyone's up for it)

***

You knew this was a bad idea. 

It always is, accepting any kind of job that Santi offers you. But the asshole knows your weakness. He mentioned Frankie would be there and you were in. Suckered once again. He, and the rest of the group for that matter, seem to be well aware of your infatuation. Except for Frankie, of course. He’s never really seemed to pick up on it. Which, honestly, you’re not sure is a good thing or not. 

You’ve been harboring a massive crush on Frankie since the first time you were introduced. You and Santi–against your better judgment–had been longtime friends when he brought you to a local bar to meet up with some of his other buddies. You had been away on a job for the last year or so, so when he heard you were back in town he jumped at the opportunity. You hadn’t expected much, already knowing Ben and Will meant that you would only be meeting two guys you wouldn’t be familiar with. 

What you really didn’t expect was for one of them to be a devilishly handsome and ridiculously charming bachelor. Frankie had absolutely taken your breath away the first time you laid eyes on him. You two had hit it off immediately, practically separating from the rest of the group as you polished off drinks and told stories from your military days for the remainder of the night. 

Fortunately, you kept in touch through mutuals and occasionally worked together on smaller jobs–thank god for Santi. (But also fuck him.) Unfortunately, nothing ever came of it. Frankie never showed any kind of explicit interest in you, so you never pushed it. You were perfectly content to just be friends if that’s all he was willing to give you. 

That's exactly why it’s such a problem when you find yourself coated head to toe in some kind of powder, right next to Frankie, who received a dusting as well. Your walkie is going off at your hip and you briefly register Tom’s voice coming through the receiver. He is positioned right behind the two of you and got the perfect view of whatever the fuck just happened. One second the two of you were walking, looking for any signs of landmines or traps around the building you are targeting for the mission, and the next your vision was completely compromised by a soft yellow pollen. 

“Fuckkk,” you hear Frankie mutter next to you. You look at him with wide eyes as the powder settles on your skin, eliciting a tingling sensation wherever it touches. The said sensation, however, becomes the least of your problems when you feel the amount of slick that suddenly coats your panties. Your knees buckle and you have to drop your gun to hold your balance, which doesn’t seem to help much as you continue your descent to the forest floor. Frankie’s hand quickly shoots out and steadies you by your elbow but it only makes it worse. 

The feeling of his skin on yours acts as a balm on your quickly overheating flesh and you moan involuntarily at the feeling. He retracts his hand as if you had burned him and the action would have embarrassed you if not for the moan that slips out of Frankie’s lips, as if he had felt the same thing. At least it’s not just you. At the sound, you feel another wave of arousal coat your already-soaked panties, the wetness growing extremely uncomfortable as the fabric starts to stick to your cunt.

“Uh, F-Frankie,” your voice sounds weak as you call for him. You have no idea whether or not he heard you, but you take a guess based on the pained groan that escapes his lips. The sound is like heaven as it reaches your ears. 

Your vision grows slightly blurry as a sudden need to be fucked takes over all of your senses. Without Frankie’s hand to help you up, you let yourself fall the rest of the way so you can lie down on the ground beneath you. You watch as Frankie’s blurred form follows suit with a groan. You start to inch toward his writhing body until you hear Tom’s voice again, this time it sounds much clearer, like the connection is getting better as he gets closer to you. You struggle as you pick up your walkie and press the button. 

“D-don’t come any closer, we're covered in some kind of f-fucking pollen.” You have to take a breath before explaining further. “It’s itchy and it’s everywhere, stay where you’re at.” You don’t bother listening to his panicked response as you tuck the walkie back into the clip on your pants. Your skin feels tight and you can feel your clit starting to throb between your legs. It feels like the smallest amount of friction would grant you an orgasm, and as good as that sounds right now, you would rather not cream your pants in front of your crush.

“Fuck,” Frankie repeats his statement from earlier, his voice strained and raspy. “We need to get out of here.” You nod your agreement and crawl your way toward him, ignoring the way his skin feels so cool against your own as you reach out to help him up. The both of you use each other to get back to your feet. By the time you’re standing, the feeling is less overwhelming than it had been at first, enough so that you’re able to hold your balance this time. You pick up the weapons you had dropped while Frankie comms the rest of the guys to let them know what happened 

You definitely got the most of the blow, as you were the one who had stepped on whatever the fuck that plant was. Frankie had only been a few feet behind you and had been exposed to a good bit, but likely nowhere near what you had been covered in. At least one of you is lucid enough to figure out what to do next. You hear the tail end of the conversation before Frankie signs off of the walkie and bends down next to you. 

“Alright, Hermosa, I’m going to get you out of here, okay?” You hiss as Frankie wraps his arms around your sensitive skin, picking you up bridal style. 

“Fuck, Frankie, it hurts,” you whine and tuck your head into his neck, breathing in his scent. He is shaking slightly and even you can feel the way his skin has started to heat up. “I know, sweetheart, just hold on for me.” You nod into him and close your eyes, only opening them when you feel your body being set down in what you assume is the passenger seat of Frankie’s truck. He leans over you and you have to resist the urge to grab onto him as he buckles you in. 

You close your eyes again and wait until you hear Frankie get into the driver’s seat before you speak.

“I think I saw a motel a few miles from here.” Your throat feels like sandpaper as you struggle to get the words out. “I think I saw it, too.” Frankie’s voice doesn’t sound much better. The entire way to the motel the only thing you can focus on is how your nipples are rubbing painfully against your bra and how fucking bad you want to suck this man’s cock. Your thighs keep clenching and rubbing together and you have to bite down on your lip so as not to moan at the slight pressure. You feel like you’re going to explode. 

“Think you can walk, sweetheart?” You nod at Frankie’s question as he turns the truck off. His voice still sounds pained and you’re not even sure if yours will work at this point. He keeps one arm around you just in case as the two of you walk into the motel. He gets keys for two rooms and you feel a twinge of disappointment. It only lasts a second though, because you can’t think of much else than the fact that everything feels hot and sensitive. 

As soon as Frankie gets the keys, he leads you to the rooms. They're side by side so you won’t be far from him, and the fact that he will be in such close proximity, likely doing exactly what you’ll be doing, is enough to cloud your judgment again. And fuck, now you’re thinking about his cock again. You know it has to be big, there’s no way it isn’t, not for a man like him. Frankie sets one hand on the small of your back and leans over you to unlock your room for you. You gasp to cover your moan as you suddenly feel something else against your back, definitely not his hand this time. 

“You’ll be okay?” Frankie’s concerned tone cuts you out of your spiraling thoughts. You look up into his own lust-blown eyes. He looks fucking wrecked. God, you would get on your knees in the middle of this dirty hallway for him right now if he only asked. “Yeah, you?” You ask when he doesn’t. He nods slowly, and you let your eyes fall to his plush lips before trailing back up to meet his gaze again. He says your name lowly, like a warning, and you lick your lips, ignoring his tone. 

You roll your hips back against his while keeping eye contact, watching Frankie groan as you grind on him. His hands fall to your hips and he begins to guide you against him. “W-why don’t you come inside?” You ask him breathily. “Are you sure that's what you want?” He steadies your hips and brings his face down so he can whisper in your ear. “If you let me in there, I’m not letting you leave until I’ve properly taken you apart.” You shiver at both the way his words elicit another gush of slick from your cunt and at the way his tone turns dark so quickly, letting you know he means it. 

Instead of answering him, you turn on your heel and crush your lips to his, your hands going up to wrap around his neck and thread your fingers through his hair, knocking his hat to the ground. Frankie moans deeply and grabs onto you as he guides you backward into the room. His tongue finds its way into your mouth as he slams you against the door once it's closed, both of you grinding against each other like desperate teenagers. He only breaks apart once he hears you whine in pure desperation. 

He steps back and takes in your disheveled appearance, his hand flying to the front of his pants to rid himself of his belt. “Strip, get on the bed.” You don’t need to be told twice. You practically rip your clothes off as you stumble through the room. Each article removed feels like a relief, allowing the cool air to kiss your skin, sticky with sweat. Frankie does the same, both of you completely naked by the time you reach the bed. The sight of his cock hanging flushed and heavy between his molded thighs makes your mouth water.  

He quickly climbs on top of you and you both moan at the way your flesh brushes together, temporarily soothing the burning sensation. Frankie wastes no time in lowering himself to a position easiest to lick into your aching cunt. 

The first stroke of his tongue makes you scream out and you bring your hand up to cover your mouth. He immediately starts eating you out like a starved man, licking and sucking and fucking you with his tongue like there’s no tomorrow. You throw your head back as your free hand buries itself in Frankie’s hair. He groans when you tug on the strands and you swear you can feel the vibrations run up your spine. 

You feel the knot in your stomach growing embarrassingly fast, your entire body tensing as you reach the edge. 

“F-fuck, Frankie, fuck-” you unsucessfully attempt to get a sentence out. “God, don’t stop, please, god!” You feel him smirk as he continues his assault, before taking your clit into his mouth and sucking hard. 

You think you scream as you climax, but you can’t be sure. There is nothing you can feel, see, or hear other than the orgasm Frankie is currently riding you through. It’s the most intense thing you have ever felt, and you don't know if it's because of the pollen or because it’s Frankie. Probably a good bit of both. 

He continues to eagerly lap up your release until you pull him away when the overstimulation starts to become too much. Hand still in his hair, you guide him up your body until you can look above you and into his eyes. Your heavy breathing catches in your throat when you see the sticky liquid dripping down the lower half of his face. 

“Oh my god…” you trail off as his smile widens, his tongue coming out to lick his bottom lip. “Look so fuckin’ beautiful when you squirt, Hermosa.” He brings his lips down to yours in a bruising kiss and you sigh as you taste your release on him. Needless to say, you get over your embarrassment pretty quickly. 

Despite your orgasm, your skin seems to burn even more than before, and your clit seems to throb out of control. All it takes is one look to know that Frankie feels the same way. His eyes are filled to the brim with tears getting ready to overflow and you have no doubt that your expression matches his own.

Before either one of you gets a chance to say anything, Frankie surges forward and encases your lips in his own. He kisses you sloppily as he pushes you back even deeper into the mattress. 

“Gonna f-fuck you now, Hermosa,”  he says, his voice bordering a whine. “Need to feel this soft fucking pussy.” You whine in a way you hope signals your agreement, your arms wrapping underneath Frankie’s to let your fingers claw at his back. “Just f-fucking hurry,” you manage to squeak, your skin burning as you grasp at him.

He listens, immediately scrambling to grasp his weeping cock and guide it to your sopping entrance while keeping one forearm settled next to your head for stability. There is almost no resistance as he slips in, bottoming out in one frantic thrust. The two of you moan in unison, capturing each other's desperate noises. 

Frankie wastes no time in setting a hurried pace. The force of his thrusts makes the headboard of the bed slam against the wall but you can’t find it in you to care. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he immediately starts to hit something heavenly within you. The pressure is already building up in your abdomen.

You open your mouth to scream but you find that the punch of his thrusts are restricting your ability to make any kind of sound. Your eyes close as your second orgasm sneaks up on you. With two more frenzied thrusts from Frankie, you’re coming undone around his thick cock. 

Frankie hisses as you squeeze around him, the added sensitivity from the pollen enhancing every small stimulant. 

“God, not gonna last long in this s-sweet cunt, pretty girl.” Frankie’s voice is pitched an octave higher than usual as he tries to stave off his own orgasm–damn well bordering a whine. You can feel how close he is by the way his dick pulses with need and by the way he clings tighter tighter to the bedsheets beside your head. 

“Go ahead, Frankie, need you to come inside me.” He practically whimpers at the request but shakes his head to juxtapose the noise. 

“N-no baby, give me o-one more first.” He’s shaking with the amount of effort he’s exerting to hold off. Almost as if your body is listening to his demands before you can process, you find yourself arching your back as you spasm around his cock once again. It takes you by surprise–you didn’t even realize you were that close. 

Completely fucked out, you let Frankie use your body to chase his own end. “Come on baby, mark me, come inside,” you slur your permission for a second time. He lets out a guttural groan as he lowers his head to nuzzle into your neck. His strokes get deeper with the lower position and you wince from the overstimulation, though you want more at the same time. 

“Yeah, Hermosa, that’s what you want, huh? Let me come inside this pretty pussy, let everyone know who you belong to now? Let everyone know that you’re fucking ruined for any other man?” His pace gets more frantic as his own words spur him on. You whine at the thought of the people knowing that Frankie fucked you, laid his claim on you, made you his. 

“Yes, Frankie, God please,” you keen into his ear as you bring one of your hands down to tangle your fingers into his curls, bringing him closer into your neck. “I’m yours, all yours, take what you want, baby.” 

Your words push Frankie off the edge and his teeth lock onto your neck while he comes to a stop deep inside you. You pull him closer still, encouraging him to leave his mark. As his seed floods into your cunt, it feels like you jumped into a pool of cool water. Your entire body relaxes further and by the way Frankie settles his weight onto you, you figure he feels the same way. 

After his dick stills and softens inside you, the two of you lay there for a moment. You run your fingers through Frankies messed hair while he licks over the mark he made on your throat. It feels like the most natural thing, laying there with him tangled in your arms, his head on your chest, both of you on the verge of sleep. You’re about to drift off when Frankie interrupts the silence in a gentle tone. 

“Been wanting to do that for so long, pretty girl,” he says quietly, his voice filled with sleep. Your eyes open and are immediately filled with tears. 

Frankie must sense the way you tense up because he quickly lifts up to look at you. You can see the panic that blooms in his eyes as he meets yours. Before he is able to say anything, though, you surge forward, wrapping your arms around his neck and planting your lips onto his.

You feel a few tears drop from your closed eyes, but you ignore them as you continue to kiss him and push until he’s forced to lay on his back, pulling you with him. When you finally separate, you stare into eachothers eyes, both of you with lopsided, love-drunk smiles. 

“Me too. I’ve wanted you for so long, Fish, you have no idea.” 

“You’re right,” He huffs a laugh as he says it. “I had no idea, I never thought you could feel that way about me. You’re so fucking perfect and I don’t deserve any part of you. I'm just…” he trails off and looks down for a second before meeting your gaze again.

You give him a slightly confused look as you answer him. “I thought I was being so obvious,” you laugh quietly in return. “I’m nowhere near perfect, sweet boy. Even if I was, you deserve anything you could ever want. I want you, Frankie. Do I deserve you?”

He doesn’t miss a beat before he has you pulled into his chest. “Of course, angel, you deserve everything, I’ll give you anything.” 

You’re crying again and you wipe away your tears before saying what you need to say. “I love you, Frankie.” You look into his eyes to see that he is tearing up as well.

“I love you too, my perfect girl,” he says softly as he pulls you into a hug and rocks you, his one of his hands on the back of your head, tucking you into his chest. You close your eyes and breath in his scent, knowing that this is where you belong. 

pt. 2??

[daisyful-gvf]

✿ little wing ✿

part 3

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

pairings: jake x reader

word count: 7.5k

notes: finally!! god i love this chapter. and i can’t wait for the next :)

warnings: sexual situations, marijuana use, drinking, angst :(

playlist (which i’ve become rly attached to lol)

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

-✿-

You’re insane if you think The Beatles are better than Cream

You laugh to yourself at his message. It’s a very Jake thing to say. Your answer is playful:

i think you’re just stubborn

It’s been nice texting Jake here and there. During the long stretches in the cramped sprinter van, between braiding Violet’s hair and plucking absentmindedly on your acoustic, it’s an exciting little activity. He’s witty, and also somehow awake most hours of the day.

That could be. But consider this:

He sends a Youtube link to a live performance of Crossroads, and you know before you even listen that he likely has you beat. You watch it anyways and smile at the thought that he shared it with you.

alright, i’ll concede

You answer. After another moment you add

for now

“What’s that about?” Paisley’s voice catches you off guard in the seat row in front of you. Her eyeliner is still half on from the show the night before, and she rubs at it as she smiles at you, “The giggling at your phone. Jake?”

If you act surprised, she’ll see right through it. You just nod, and try not to blush too hard. She offers you a knowing smile and you wave her off.

“I’m just saying…” she laughs and plays with the wooden beaded bracelets on her wrist.

“Well don’t,” you smile and pick up your guitar again, putting Jake out of your mind for a moment.

“Come on,” she grins, “What’s going on?”

The air seems stuffy in the van suddenly, so you crack a window. The summer Texas air is inviting on your skin and through your hair.

“I don’t know,” you sigh, “Truly, I don’t. I think we’re just friends, I think…”

She gives you an anticipatory look as you gather your thoughts.

“He’s a flirt, but he seems to tone it down with me. I think he’s just being nice. Professional, even.”

Whether or not she means for it to, the boisterous laugh that comes out pangs at your chest. As your face falls and you resort to playing a riff on the acoustic, she notices.

“Hey,” she soothes, “I’m not trying to be mean. I just wish I should shake some sense into you.”

You raise your brow at her as you play.

“I don’t know that even if I spelled it out for you, that you’d get it, babe,” she says gently, “But if he’s making you happy to be around, go with it.”

“Just don’t leave us in the dust for some rockstar dick, please,” Carol chimes in from the front. She gives you a wicked grin and then smacks her gum.

“Oh my god,” you roll your eyes, “It’ll never be like that.”

Paisley reaches over and ruffles your hair before she turns to lay her head against the window, and then you’re left with your own thoughts again. The buzz of your phone on your thigh startles you.

What do I get for winning? :)

You roll your eyes at his cheeky message.

well, what do you want?

He reads the message instantly, and after about a minute of silence your stomach starts to knot.

And then it hits you. You’re in it. You haven’t felt nervous over a text from someone in god knows how long, and it’s almost embarrassing how plain it is for yourself to see. And maybe, it’s not such an insane thing to like him. Maybe you’ll let yourself see where it goes.

Smoke with me again?

You don’t notice you’re smiling at it until your cheeks ache a bit.

if you insist, kiszka

The beds of your nail starts to bleed as you chew at the skin anxiously. You send the next message with your breath held:

time & place?

He answers quickly

After the show? I think our hotel’s right across from the venue. Meet me at the lobby bar?

Trying your best not to overthink it, you reply

see you then. good luck with the show tonight! big crowd.

Oh yeah? You think I need luck?

Your stomach turns at the playfulness of his response.

so humble, you are

The bubble of ellipses taunt you for a moment as he answers.

;)

You stare at the small winking face for a while before you decide it’s probably bad for your cardiac health, and set the phone face down on the seat. The Texas wind knots your hair, but you smile as the breeze hits your face.

-✿✿✿-

You find yourself in a trance as you watch the crew pack up Greta’s equipment from the side stage. Fog still curls through the edges of the room from the machines. After you let yourself watch for a bit, you take a deep breath and make your way back to the girls.

Outside by the van, you find Violet with a leg propped against the small metal barricade, puffing on a cigarette.

“Hey,” she says gently, “We’re gonna go get pizza I think. Coming?”

You lean into her and give her a sloppy half hug, shaking your head, “M’gonna go hang out with Jake for a bit if that’s alright.”

She grins like a cheshire cat and puts her cigarette out on her heel of her docs.

“It’s sweet, y’know,” he clears her throat.

“Mm?” you shuffle your feet around, acting oblivious.

“I can tell you like him. It’s sweet.”

You shrug and lean against the barrier, “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

She laughs softly and leans next to you, “You don’t have to, that’s the fun of it. Just see where it goes.”

Her words seem so obvious, yet so hard to abide by in the moment.

You nod anyways, and then stand back up, stretching your hands up into the warm evening air. The crop top you’re wearing exposes your stomach to the breeze, and it’s unexpectedly grounding.

The rest of the girls round the corner and motion to Violet, and she leaves you with a soft wave and a smile.

After a deep breath, you turn on your heels and begin to walk around to the front of the venue, making your way to the hotel. The streetlights are warm orange against the dark sky, and it comforts you in an odd nostalgic way. The hotel is nice, a tall, shiny building, just a block away. You enter the lobby with your breath held.

He’s laughably easy to spot in a crowd. He’s in a black cutoff tank, and his brown hair spills in waves over his shoulders.

You approach the bar slowly and tap him once on the back. He turns with an already gentle smile on his face. He never seems caught off guard.

“Hey, little wing,” he grins and turns to bring you into a side hug,

You head reels, all at once hit with the smell of him, the warmth of him. In your head, his voice echos:

little wing

If he didn’t have a soft hold on your torso, your knees surely would buckle.

“Little wing?” you try to sound casual as you slide into the barstool beside him.

He nods, then is quiet for a moment as he adjusts back onto his stool.

“Seems fitting,” He finally says, taking one of the final sips of his drink, “That alright?”

You hum your approval, trying desperately to relax.

“I don’t have a nickname for you,” you blurt out.

He shrugs and signals the bartender for his tab, “You’ll think of one m’sure.”

“You want one?” your smile is genuine.

He smiles at his drink and takes the final swig, then shrugs as he sets it down and swallows. His eyes finally meet yours. “If you wanna give me one, yeah. ‘Course.”

“Hmm,” you bite your lip, “I’ll get back to you.”

He nods and takes the check from the bartender, exchanging his card and finally signing the receipt before he motions to you to exit.

You follow him across the white tile floor of the lobby to the elevator, where you’re met with a silence that is shockingly comfortable. Finally, he breaks it.

“Have a good show tonight?”

He’s standing in the opposite corner of the elevator, waiting your answer intently.

You nod, “One of the better ones actually. You?”

Instantly, he’s smiling, “Yeah, I felt good tonight.”

After you nod, he continues, “I watched your set.”

The comment makes your chest flush. You try to remember that he’s just a musician after all, too.

“And?” you bite your lip nervously.

The steel elevator doors creak open and he gives an ‘after you’ wave of his arm. He exists, then leads the way down the red-carpeted hall.

“I enjoyed it,” he answers, turning slightly to you as he walks, and he fidgets with his rings, “Your band is talented, that’s undeniable.”

You smile, thinking of the girls. The bond you all have is intense, and you can’t help but be proud on their behalves from the compliment.

“You especially,” he grins as he tugs his wallet from his jean pocket and retrieves the key card.

“Oh, please,” you roll your eyes.

“I’m biased, as a fellow guitarist,” he opens the door and lets you in, “But I’m serious. It’s good.”

You spin to face him once inside, once again taken by the slight smell of shampoo and moisture from his pre-show shower.

“Thank you,” you say genuinely, “Really.”

He hold eye contact as he nods and smiles, and you suddenly don’t feel so on edge. He’s sweet.

“So,” he drums the tops of his thighs and moves to sit on the bed, “You were crazy for trying to argue The Beatles over Cream, y’know. You had this coming.”

You laugh, turning to make your way to the couch, and then—

There is no couch. Just the king bed, large and white in the middle of the room. Your cheeks heat.

“You good?” He asks, as you’ve fallen silent. Your head whips back around to him and you nod.

“You’re gonna make your whole room smell like weed, y’know,” you say, trying to talk yourself into normalcy.

He shrugs, “I don’t care. Better weed than stale hotel.”

You smile and make your way to the edge of the bed. You sit on the very corner, unsure of what else to do. He giggles, you’re pretty sure at your nervousness, but then he gets up and goes to his bag that sits on the desk.

Out of it he retrieves his metal tin and a lighter. He also pulls out a small bag of starbursts, and when he makes his way back to half-lay on the bed, he extends the yellow package to you with his eyebrows raised.

“M’good,” you smile. He nods and sets them aside, opening the metal tin and pulling out a pre roll. He lights up quickly, and the smell calms you instantly.

“You can lay down if you want,” he rasps as he holds in the green hit, “M’not gonna bite.”

The laugh that trills out of you is loud, and it makes him giggle in response.

“I’d hope not,” you try to ease the tension, and then let yourself lay down. You face each other, propped up on your sides a few feet away on opposite sides of the mattress.

He hands you the joint and after you take it, he plops flat onto his back, sinking into the weight of the mattress. His eyes flutter shut for a brief moment as you inhale.

When they open, his eyes a bit sleepy, he feels his pockets for his phone. You watch him scroll through it as you take another deep hit, and then finally he sighs and sets the device aside.

“I know I said I don’t usually watch movies when I smoke, but I’m not really feeling music right now,” he says. He stretches for the remote on the nightstand, revealing a strip of his stomach above his jeans that makes you blush. “That okay?” he asks.

Nodding, you cup your hand under the joint as the ash accumulates. He notices and gets up to grab an empty cup from near the ice bucket, passing it to you as he settles back onto the bed. This time, he lays up by the headboard, an arm stretched up behind his head casually.

He looks so good. A glimmer of hope crosses you, that maybe he will take this further.

“You wanna pick the movie?” He says, clicking at

the remote, stealing you from your thoughts.

You shake your head, “Go ahead.”

He bites his lip absentmindedly, and yeah, this is bad for you. There’s no denying that you want him, but you know yourself, and you can’t make a move first.

“Pirates?” He smiles at you and points to the TV with the remote.

You swivel your head to find Johnny Depp’s charming, dirty face grinning at you. After a short laugh, you nod. Jake nods back.

Passing him back the joint, you roll to lay on your stomach, parallel to him.

“How you gonna watch the movie if you’re faced this way?” He smarts. You shrug, swiping your hand along the soft plush of the comforter.

“Maybe I just wanna lay here,” you counter.

“Fair,” he puffs on the joint. There’s smoke in the air now, clinging to the mild humidity that seeps in from the summer evening, “So when did you start playing?”

“Guitar?”

He nods, hitting it again.

“Mm,” you ponder, again and again brushing your hand over the fabric, “Maybe twelve or thirteen?”

He nods and passes you the joint. As he holds the smoke in his lungs, he rasps out, “It shows.”

You can’t help your eye roll—while it’s very polite of him, it’s comical in some way that you feel such validation from it.

“What?” he giggles.

“Nothing,” you laugh, “Nothing, thank you.”

“You have a favorite song to play?”

“On stage?”

He shrugs, “Anywhere.”

You scoff, “You should know that’s an impossible question.”

His giggle is effortless, and he shrugs again, “Maybe. Try.”

Taking your last hit, you answer him upon exhale, “Right now? Maybe Red House.”

“God,” his smile is wide and toothy as he takes the joint back.

“What?” You blush at his response.

“Nothing,” he parrots your earlier response, “Good song.”

“You?”

He finishes off the joints and puts it out in the bottom of the cardboard cup; likely a fire hazard, but one that will be disregarded. He pops another starburst into his mouth.

“Right now it’s Orchid,” he smiles, as he talks around the candy “But it changes about every three days.”

“Mm,” you hum in acknowledgement. A gentle silence blankets the room, and in the background, Pirates plays on. You stare are your fingers, mostly, as they play with the edge of a down pillow now. Jake’s eyes flit between the screen and you.

It’s quiet for maybe ten minutes before he finally speaks, his voice now a little more hoarse.

“Wanna drink?”

You look up to him. His eyes are heavily lidded, and he looks relaxed. Only after you’re looking somewhere other than your hands do you realize you’re starting to feel the weed. You nod.

“Like water, or like whiskey?”

Blinking at him, you can’t bring yourself to decide.

“Whiskey it is,” he laughs, “Took too long, silly girl.”

Unable to help it, you bite your lip at the name. It’s laced with affection, or at least you’re pretty sure.

He slides off the bed easily, his jeans making a soft noise against the comforter. You don’t know how he’s always in jeans; perhaps for the aesthetic. The moment your set had ended earlier, you opted for some soft, flowy pants and a cropped shirt to cope with the temperature.

“Just one,” he’s handing you a can before you know it.

“This is soda,” you furrow your brow. He giggles.

“Not just,” he eases the can toward you, “There’s no more cups in here. I poured it in.”

The smell hits you then; the sweet dark liquor mixed with the sugary cola smell. It’s enticing.

You take a heavy swig, and yeah, he was right. He settles back on the bed, feet crossed, back against the headboard. You’re still parallel to him, you head about in line with his waist. As he sips from his drink, he plops his right hand down on the bed freely.

Quickly, his bracelets catch your eye. There’s four, a couple metal and a couple textile. You wonder how he came to have them, and why they all look like they’ve been on him for years.

“These old?” You ask, reaching up to tap one. Your fingertips brush his wrist, but he doesn’t flinch. Unable to think better of it, you continue to toy with one of them. It’s braided cord, very worn, frayed at most edges. Your trace the braided pattern over and over, occasionally bumping his skin. The feeling is electrifying, like you’ve just held hands with your childhood crush for the first time. He doesn’t seem to mind.

“Mmhm,” he answers. He takes another drink and then watches you play with it.

“Tell me about them,” you touch another one, a thin silver chain with a small gem pendant.

He takes a soft breath.

“Well. The cord one is from Josh. I’ve had it on about a year. Guess he thought it ‘suited my aesthetic’ or whatever,” he chuckles to himself, “The silver one is from my sister. Think I’ve had that one for three or four years.”

You nod and spin it around his wrist, all but holding his hand at this point. The weed has left you without embarrassment as a crutch, and it feels nice to let your fingertips skirt over his skin.

You point to another woven one, a blue and green friendship bracelet.

“That one is from some gas station in Michigan. A few months ago, before this tour started.”

You nod at his answer and point to the last one, a solid silver bangle with a small, ancient looking symbol.

“From my dad,” he smiles, “No idea where he found it. But I love it.”

The bracelets and your fingers graze his skin gently, and you wish you could stay in the moment forever. It’s tender, and it feels safe. You spare a glance up at him and he’s looking at you like he feels the same. Somehow, it’s more intimate than if he were to just kiss you.

“How bout you, hm?” He lifts his wrist and taps the small woven bracelet on your wrist, “Good story?”

“We all have one,” you say, and then realize that you’ve given very little context, “All the girls. Violet made them in the van during one of the rides in between shows.”

“That’s sweet,” he says softly. If it were anyone else, you’d think they were making fun of you. But not him, with the way he says it.

You nod and keep playing with the bracelets on his wrist, spinning them around and around, tracing them. You’ve mesmerized yourself with them. Eventually, the hair tie on his middle finger catches your eye, and you trail your finger down to circle that. His hand twitches slightly under your touch, but then relaxes.

It’s a natural progression, or at least it feels that way, as you begin to trace up and down his fingers with the nail of yours. The touch is gentle, and you intend for it to be soothing. Just when you’re unsure if it’s too much, and you consider stopping, he murmurs,

“Feels nice.”

You look up and his eyes are closed, his head leaned back against the wall. You take the cue and continue to trace over and over the tan skin with care.

Finally after five or so more minutes, you peek back up at him, and he’s grinning at you.

“Hi,” he barely gets it out before he giggles. You laugh back.

“Hi,”

“I’m high.”

“I had no idea,” you burst into an uncontrollable laughter at the sight of him, eyes heavy. He laughs with you.

“Feels nice,” he says again, though you’re not sure now if he’s talking about the high or you touching his hand.

Your arms tired from propping yourself up, you slouch down against the bed, your hair brushing over his hand. Quickly, you realize you’re cold.

“Cold,” you get out, rubbing the goosebumps over your arm. He lifts his hand to skirt a finger over your arm and feel the goosebumps.

“Get under the blanket,” he says, as if you were dumb for not thinking of that solution. You eye him hesitantly, unsure if you should be reading into this.

“Little wing,” he sighs, affectionately rolling his eyes, “Just get under the fucking blanket. You think too much.”

A little shocked, you laugh, but do just that. You slip off the bed and he does the same, and as you both sink under the plush of the down comforter, you realize how close you are.

For a bit you try to focus on Davy Jones and Will Turner, but then the high leaves you craving to touch him, and you can only ration with your brain in its dazed state for so long. You’re pretty sure he won’t freak out, so you let your head fall against his shoulder.

You can feel and hear him inhale, and you brace yourself for rejection, but all he says is

“C’mere,”

It’s soft, and he’s easing his arm behind you, allowing you to sink into his side if you wish. You look at him, and he’s close, and he still looks very high.

“Wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if we just cuddled,” he says quietly, “S’no big deal.”

You wish he hadn’t said that, because you wish it could be a big deal. You wish it could snowball, with hands and lips everywhere, a culmination of all the little moments. But if he’s letting it be casual, so be it, it’s better than nothing at all.

Like you’ve just crawled through the desert, and like he is a pool of cool water, you fall into him, slotting perfectly against his side. His arm comes around you and rests on your waist.

“This okay?” He murmurs, barely audible over the TV and the blood rushing in your head. You nod against his chest. “You high too?” You nod again. “Good,” he says quietly.

Try as it might, the movie doesn’t hold your attention whatsoever. All you can focus on is the soft rise and fall of his chest, his body heat, his fingertips and their gentle pressure on your side.

It’s unclear when you drift off. When you wake, the TV is playing some 90’s sitcom at a soft volume. The blue glow from the screen washes over Jake’s face, which you’ve propped yourself up to look over.

He looks dreadfully sweet—lips parted slightly, eyelashes creating small shadows in their wake. His hair is messy, like he raked his hand through it shortly before dozing off.

Your eyes land on the digital clock on the nightstand to his side, where the time glares red: 3:34. Jesus christ, you have to be on the road at 7:30.

One last time, you look at him. The irrational part of you, the part of you that craves warmth, wants to curl back into him and say fuck it. But a few deep breaths later, you know that’s not what this is.

Carefully, you try to slip out from under the comforter, shivering as you slide the cover off your torso.

“Hey,” his soft voice breaks through the night air.

Blinking, you turn to make quick eye contact. He’s rubbing one of his eyes, stretching.

“I don’t know when I fell asleep,” you chuckle softly, “Sorry.”

“No,” he shakes his head and plops his hands back into his lap, “S’fine, I did too. You…”

He looks like he wants to say it, too: stay. Or maybe you’re delirious from the late hour. But he chews on his bottom lip a moment, and then pick back up,

“You gotta leave early too, huh?”

You nod, and he nods back.

“Let me walk you down to the lobby,” he murmurs, sliding one of his legs from the comforter. Then he stills.

Suddenly, like a wave of nausea, you are hit with an emotion so unpleasant you fight tears.

If he doesn’t do something now, with you in his hotel bed during the witching hour, craving his touch and so clearly willing, maybe he never will. Maybe it’s just not like that, and this intense and well-fed crush you have is girlish and dumb.

“It’s fine,” you choke out, quickly putting your feet on the ground and searching for your sandals.

“No, I can—“

“It’s fine,” you reiterate, finally kicking on your other shoe and pivoting to the door.

“Hey—“

“Goodnight, Jake,” you get out, hand finding the room door in the dark only based on the rectangle of light coming from the hall.

“Little wing, hey—”

It’s the last thing you hear as the door latches behind you, and barely three steps into the hallway, the hot tears roll down your cheeks.

The bartender in the lobby gives you a concerned look as you rush out the front doors, where you walk a far too long twenty minutes back to your own hotel room.

When you sink into the bed next to Paisley, head pounding, sleep takes you quickly.

-✿✿✿-

In the stark light of the morning, with your head against the bus window, Paisley nudges you about twenty minutes into the drive. Her grin is devilish as she whispers,

“Why’d you come back to the room so late?”

Her look is expectant, much like you were last night. You answer her shakily

“Just lost track of time. Nothing happened.”

She nudges you again and says, “Okay,” with a knowing tone. Instead of arguing, you let your head fall back again my the window. Two more tears escape you before you fiercely wipe them away, determined not to let it get to you. He’s just a boy.

-✿✿✿-

You really should have just gone to the hotel tonight. The lack of sleep from the night before plagues you still after the show, especially on the adrenaline comedown.

But in the spirit of touring, you are convinced by Violet to accompany them to a bar, where you throw back a second vodka cran quickly and accept a hit of Carol’s cigarette.

And then there’s Jake. You can’t quite manage to peel your eyes away from the girl on the bar stool beside him. Her and her charming little grin, the way you can see her lipgloss sparkle from across the way.

Most infuriatingly, the way that Jake gives a wolfish grin back, and his eyes seem darker as he turns to her. The final blow is a flash of his hand skirting over her thigh, dancing over her skin.

Your head snaps to Paisley, “I need a fucking shot.”

She scans your face and seems to sense the panic, but like the sweet being she is, she places a gentle hand on your shoulder and gives a reassuring smile.

“Thought you’d never ask. Lemon drop? Green tea?”

Your head is shaking before her questions are over.

“Whiskey.”

She nibbles on her bottom lip and looks at you, and softly, she starts, “You okay?”

You shake your head again and she nods, going to fetch the shots as you take a shaky breath.

After one more fleeting glance at Jake, with his hand trailing over and over her knee, you swear it off the rest of the evening. There’s nothing you can do; there’s no need to stare at him and cause yourself misery.

“Cheers,” Paisley’s voice is in stereo as she swings around your right side, plopping 4 whiskey shots on the bar table in front of you. “Girls,” she says to get the other’s attention, divvying up the shots.

“Whiskey?” Carol scowls, holding it up in front of her.

“Oh hush,” Paisley smarts, “I said, cheers!”

You clink shot glasses and throw it back, willing the tears away in your eyes. The burn of the liquor does just that, and when you slam the glass down, a small smile finds its way to your face.

When you meet Paisley’s eyes, she’s giving you an inquisitive look. She must read your face.

“I’ll go get some more,” she says, turning back to the bar. You nod and take a sip of your third drink. You can absolutely feel it, so you should probably slow down, but it’s helping squash the anger that had bubbled up in you.

After Paisley returns with the second shot, and after it trials a warm path down your throat, you give her a wide smile. You feel fuzzy and nice.

“There we go,” Paisley giggles and tussles your hair, “Better?”

You nod, giggling.

“Good,” she smile. Her next words are softer, “Forget about him, babe. He’s an idiot, and you’re a hot rockstar.”

She means well, but it makes your chest ache a bit. You push it away with a nod as she pats your shoulder.

Not long after, the room spins. You really should have seen it coming, perhaps you even did, but it hits all at once.

“Paisley,” it slurs out of you, “Gotta go outside.”

Her hair whips everywhere as she spins her head to look at you, her eyeliner smudged and her eyes heavy from the presumable weed she smoked in the bathroom.

“Need me to come?”

You shake your head, giving her a salute as you back away.

“Be safe,” she points a serious finger at you, “Go straight to the hotel.”

Nodding, you make a swift exit into the warm air of the night. You’re somewhere in the desert now, and the air is dry and cool. You inhale it as deep as you can as you watch the neon from the bar signs across the street flicker. They’re pink and green, and it feels like outer space, which makes you giggle.

Willing the nausea away, you begin the short walk to the hotel, and try not to think about Jake. Inevitably, your inebriated brain does not listen, and you’re stuck between wanting to hate him, and wanting his hands all over you.

It’s still on your mind as you open your hotel door, as you slip inside the room and kick off your boots. You stare at the hotel bed, the empty, glaring white sheets. And you don’t want to lay in it alone.

Instead, you squint to look around the room for the ice bucket. You’ll waste some time getting ice and a drink from the vending machine, and perhaps by then, your mind will settle down.

Slipping the key card in the pocket of your denim skirt, you enter the hallway, barefoot and pleasantly drunk. You trudge to the ice room, offering the empty bucket to it for filling. Unable to resist the urge, you pop one of the cold cubes into your mouth and crunch. It’s refreshing, and you smile to yourself as you make your way back out.

There’s a figure in the hallway, about half way down and blurry, and you wonder to yourself for a moment if it really is him, or if you’re that drunk.

You turn to disregard it, to head to the vending machine, but sure enough;

“Hey.”

His voice is warm, and so wonderfully gentle. You hate how gentle it is.

You turn back, against your own will. And there’s Jake, wandering the few feet down the hall to you, dragging his hand through his messy hair.

“Hi.” You answer back, popping another ice cube in your mouth. He stops a few feet ahead of you and gives you a once over, and that shit eating grin appears on his face.

“No shoes?” He nods down at your feet.

Swallowing the water in your mouth, you nod and hold up the bucket, “Just wanted ice.”

He nods and rubs his hand over his flushed cheek. He’s drunk too.

“Wanna come in? I have drinks in the mini fridge,” he jabs his thumb in the vicinity of his hotel room.

You are silent for a long time, far too long for a normal conversation. You’re attempting to weight all of the options: should you, shouldn’t you, who cares, should you care, etc, until finally he breaks the silence:

“I’m just offering you a nightcap, I’m not gonna eat you alive, doll.” He smirks, and jesus christ, you wish it didn’t make your stomach turn the way it does.

You try to stay upset at him as he winks. Reluctantly, with an eye roll, you move to follow him to the room. He holds the door open wordlessly.

“Did you have a fun night?” you ask with a tone, walking in and setting the ice bucket on the desk. Might as well get the dig in before the liquor catches up to you fully, and you’re too drunk to be witty.

He nods and throws his phone and wallet on the bed, “You?”

You give a curt not back.

“You want a drink?” He offers.

“No liquor,” you sigh, “Already drunk.”

He nods and starts to fetch a sprite from the fridge, cracking it open as he hands it to you. His hands are large, you notice for the hundredth time. His fingers are long.

“So, why’d you ask like that? He says, reaching for his own soda. You step close to him, probably too much so, but it’s like he’s got his own god damn gravitational pull. When he comes back up from the fridge, you’re a few feet away.

“What?” you ask.

“How my night was,” he clarifies, cracking his soda can open and leaning with one arm against the hotel furniture. He takes a long sip.

You shrug at his question, “Just seems like you had a fun time,” you raise your brows and take another sip. You’re being petty, but you don’t care.

He studies your face for a moment and scrunches his brow down, pressing his lips together. After a second, he shakes his head,

“Just say it, whatever it is you’re not saying.”

You blink at him. You should leave, probably. But the words pour from you before you can stop. You set your soda down on the desk with some level of aggression. He sets his down too, softer.

“You played with my hair,” you say, emotion creeping up in your voice.

He watches you, his lips parted, his drunk mind trying to understand what has just come out of your mouth.

“You said I have a sunset aura. We fell asleep together.”

The thoughts are disjointed, but it’s what comes to your mind.

“I thought you liked me,” you finally get it out—the meat of what you’re trying to say. You feel embarrassed, childish and petulant, “I thought—”

Your throat begins to shut as tears start in your eyes. The embarrassment is combusting into anger, fueled by the alcohol.

“I thought—”

“I do,” he interjects before you can say it again, “I do like you.”

You’re in stunned silence for a moment at the admission, but then the words find you.

“Then why the other girl?” You force the words out through your tight throat, though they wobble, “Why—why do that when I was in your bed last night? You had me.”

He winces at that, barely, but you see it. He licks his lips and furrows his brow more, standing with a hand hooked through one of his belt loops. He doesn’t seem angry, though, maybe confused.

“Little wing,” he sighs finally, with such a genuine regret in his voice that you almost soften, “I don’t know,” he rubs his face over his hand, “I just flirt, I don’t—”

“You could flirt with me,” you know it comes out harsh and borderline desperate, but the liquor has ripped down your walls, and your frustration is glowing hot at the surface.

“It’s not just that, I just—,” he sucks in a breath and shakes his head, “I’m fucking drunk, doll, I don’t—“

“Spit it out, Jake,” you have no patience for niceties.

“I just wanted a hook up,” he blurts, “But I didn’t, I mean, obviously, I’m here,” he holds his hands out at the room, “I just—”

“What is this, Jake?” Forget soft, you’re angry now, “You like me but don’t want to hook up with me? I didn’t ask you if you wanted to be friends, I asked if you like me—”

“I do,” His voice is soft and his eyes are sad, and as he says it, he steps forward and touches your cheek. Try as you might to maintain your anger, the touch takes your breath. You want it: you want him to be soft with you, to touch you like that.

“I do,” he repeats as he strokes over your cheek with his thumb, gentle as a breeze, “You do remind me of a sunset. Little wing, I fucking—” he laughs, breathless, and you can do nothing but watch, “I’m damn near obsessed with you.”

Out of your stunned silence, you manage a hushed response, “Then why not me? At the bar…I…your hand…”

He shakes his head solemnly and strokes your cheek again, “Because I don’t—I don’t know how to do that, doll. I don’t really…I just usually fuck girls and then that’s it. I’m not really used to much more, y’know, with the touring, and,” he sucks in a breath, collecting himself, “And I don’t want to do that with you.”

“I…” you search for words that never come, “Jake…,”

“You’re too sweet,” he’s suddenly so close, leaning in with whisky on his breath. His cheek nuzzles yours, “You’re so fucking…sweet, fucking beautiful, and feminine,” his lips drag over your cheekbone, “talented, special, pretty little thing…”

“Jake…” it’s all you can manage.

“And I can’t…” he nips at your jaw and your head is spinning, “Fuck, I can’t do… that… to you,”

“Why?” it comes out as a whimper, “Why can’t we?”

You can’t bring yourself to care about any of his cryptic warnings: you just want him.

“Fuck, I shouldn’t—I’m drunk, this isn’t—“ His hand leaves your jaw and he pulls away.

You tighten your fist into his jacket lapels, strangling the black leather fringe, and he suddenly comes to, his eyes locking on yours.

“What are you scared of?” You bite out.

He sucks in a breath and his eyes scan over your face.

“I’m drunk, doll, I really…we should really talk when I’m not.”

“Why? So you can phrase it better? Just say it,”

He licks his lips, “I don’t want to mess this up. I like my time with you, I like how we just…how easy it is. It’s sweet. I don’t wanna ruin it. I don’t wanna fuck and then never talk again, or make it all complicated, or…” he shakes his head, “I just wanted it to stay sweet.”

The admission is gentle, and you ease up on him, speaking softer.

“I didn’t take you as careful.”

“It’s just you, little wing,” his eyes scan your face, soft brown and kind, “Just with you.”

The silence invites a palpable tension, suspended between both of your anticipating glances.

As precautious as he speaks, it seems his body cannot help but surrender to the temptation, and he leans in again. Feather soft, his lips brush yours. You can feel his breath, and the scent of him is dizzying.

“M’sorry,” he’s slurring suddenly, “I’m—um…” he falls silent and he moves to rest his forehead against your temple. You can feel his shaking breath.

Your heads are pressed together, breathing against each others necks. In your chest, your heart is a drum.

You know you should be sorry too; this isn’t how you want to kiss him for the first time. But he smells so good, and his skin is warm, and his hands on your waist are making your spine tingle, and you can’t care about anything that should or shouldn’t happen.

“Jake?” you sigh.

“Yeah?” his voice sounds strained.

“Can you stop being sorry and just fucking kiss me?” you hiss against his jaw.

“Fuck yes,” he breathes, slamming back into you. His lips are hungry, and you’re needy.

His hands are against your bare ribs as he licks into your mouth, and his palms pressed warm against your skin makes a heat flare in your stomach.

He backs you up a couple feet to push you up against the wall as he kisses down your neck. His hands are wandering, skirting hesitatingly over your breasts, his thumb dips under your skirt hem into your navel and then retreats. His hand falls to your hip, flirting with the hem of your skirt. Your legs open for him and it makes him whine.

“Can I—“ he swallows.

“Please,”

His hand moves along the front of your thigh, and then it’s between them, his thumb rubbing over the soft skin slowly. Then, it moves up to your panties, touching softly over you.

“Warm,” he breathes, like he didn’t even mean to say it aloud.

“Jake,” you whine, “Please.”

“Oh,” it’s nearly a whine, and his eyes are squeezed shut, “Don’t say my name like that, doll, or this is gonna get out of hand quick.”

The words make your legs clamp together around his hand.

“You like the thought of that, huh?” He nips at your ear, “Don’t tempt me. Let’s not—“ there’s a sharp inhale as his thumb brushes the hem of your panties, nearly dipping his finger under the fabric, “Let’s not get carried away.”

“Why can’t we?”

“Jesus christ, little wing, you’re makin’ this hard for me,” he withdraws his thumb and skirts it over the front of your panties, “You don’t—“ his breath hitches, and he looks directly into your eyes, “You don’t wanna wait?”

“For what?”

“I don’t know,” he sighs, “I just—fuck, I just didn’t want it to be like this,”

“What do you want?” You ask, and you mean it. He draws his hand away from your thigh.

“I’m not good at this, like I said, I just—I don’t know what this looks like tomorrow if we do that tonight.”

“I want you to want me bad enough to not care about any of that,” it comes out of you before you can decide better.

“Oh, doll,” he’s breathless, shaking his head. He meets you in another desperate kiss, and okay, maybe you’ll believe him.

“I want you,” he says it with a shudder in his breath. The back of his hand graces your cheek, “God, do I want you,” he looks at your for a long moment in silence before he takes your hand and brings it down to the front of his jeans, where you can feel the hard warmth of him beneath the clasp. It makes your cheeks hot.

“See?” He slots your fingers with his, then, “ But I can’t not care…” he kisses your cheek, “Even drunk, I know that.”

“Please?” You give him doe eyes, and you reach for his hand, placing it back on the hem of your skirt, “Jake, I…please, touch me.”

“Listen to you,” his eyes roll back in his head, “Fuck, I don’t even recognize myself, I normally…mm, jesus you’re hard to resist,”

He takes a deep breath, and then removes both of his hands, holding them up in the air as he releases the breath. They come back to cradle your face.

“Doll…,” he says softly, “Not tonight. I’m sorry, I wish—“ he clears his throat, “You’re welcome to stay here, but I can’t do that tonight,”

He shocks you with the display of reservation, and suddenly you’re hit with a wave of embarrassment.

He can tell.

“Hey,” he kisses you softly, “It’s alright. Just—I can’t do that with you like this. It’s not fair to you.”

You nod softly and embarrassed tears begin to sting at your eyes.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he wipes them with his thumb and kisses you again, so tender your heart aches, and you want to be mad but all you can do is kiss back.

“You can stay here,” he says against your lip, “I can hold you.”

The thought of laying there with him after all this makes you almost frantic, you wish it could go any other way.

For the second night in a row, he’s sighing as you turn away.

“Little wing,”

It’s sad, and in the pit of your stomach, nausea brews. You’re already walking away when he repeats it, and because your body cannot help it, you turn back to him.

“What?” it’s far harsher than you meant; you can see it in the way he recoils that it stings.

“You can stay,” he offers again, “Please—I—It’s alright, I promise.”

A thousand replies run through your mind, but you settle on a heavy breath. You don’t think even if you could put the disappointment into words, that he might understand, or that it might make any difference. You don’t want to spend the night chastely laying beside him while you wonder again if he wants you the same way you want him. So you don’t.

“Goodnight, Jake,” you say softly, tears stinging at the corners of your eyes.

And for the second night in a row, you let the hotel door shut as he’s saying the nickname again.

“Little wing—”

fin.

-✿-

tag list <3

@starshine-wagner @dannywagners-chesthair @writingcold @kels-gvf @aconfusedhippie @fearless-wanderer @thehourbeforesunrise @madz-0217 @gretavanbitches @doodle417 @rhythm-of-space @milkgemini @st4rdust-ch0rds @myownparadise96 @gretavanfleas @josh-iamyour-mama @spark-my-nature @saltydogkiszka @jordierama @sammiejane22 @jakekiszkastaurussuit @jake-kiszkas-smirk @babyhoneygvfarchive @gabyvanfleet @gretavanslutz @dannyandthekiszkas @freckled-wonderland @why-ami-on-here @kay-jordan @pr41sethemoon @watchingovergvf2 @gretavandann @cornychip @gabbiegvf @almost-a-ladybug @gretavanbear @laurenlovesgretavanfleet @jaketlover @dykejake

[coredrill]

this post is not abt bravern but it Is abt my Bravern Feelings

i miss this show so much already SOBS. i did enlist another g roup of irl friends to watch it w me though and we are starting tomorrow so yay :] and also beware the rewatch posts

[guy who has said that i'm glad i watched this live every week voice] i'm rly glad i watched this live, but this time its bc. i think there is something so truly and genuinely special abt the way that the theories abt bravern himself evolved week to week.........like at first everyone was like Well maybe he's an evil alien who is gonna Kill isami. and then everyone was like Well maybe he's a death drive and isami is his lulu. and THEN everyone was like Well there's still some knuth in there so. but none of that was the case!!! none of that was true!!! it was literally just this one guy and all of the love he has and Absolutely Sucks Shit at expressing!!!!!!! and i just. idk. that hits me rly hard that maybe it was percieved as sinister at first just cause it was a little Off but in the end it was something really really sweet :] it also just feels like yet another way of the show doing its "we know audiences aren't willing to accept optimism at face value these days" schtick like they mentioned in that one interview and just. showing how bravern himself evolves in the eyes of the viewer. it's rly special to me :]

i know bravern speaking german in ep2 was a nod to the translator he uses on superbia later but. what if someone loved you so much they became german (if i ever mention kyouji again in a bravern context just fucking shoot me)

WILD to watch the finale and then see the isami hate train take off FKSJDHFJ cause i feel like i adored him so much in that ep LMAO. my guy really felt every emotion known to man in the span of 22 minutes and then started makin gup new ones. he's very human!!! and i love that abt him!!!!

although some takes. i'm ngl. i know we joke abt subtext and cowards but it becomes less funny when the subtext that is there is missed LMAO

sorry to keep bringing up ep4 but i think its SO interesting how like. the way that bravern seems to helps isami out emotionally in that ep actually ends up not helping him in the long run aswell? like getting to know all those ppl care abt him is good ofc but it also feeds Directly into his hangups in ep5. and i remember being a little confused as to Why that was the case on first watch cause ep4 was So abt his beef w lulu (FLSDKJFH) but w the smith being a human again thing in the end it makes. so much more sense!!!!! i can't wait to rewatch the show w it still fresh in my mind and find even more!!!!!!

and omg the beef with lulu. literally nothing is funnier to me than "we are gonna have one Rival Fight in this show and that position is gonna be filled by isami and smith's fucking KID" SOBS. LIKE. it kills me FKSLDJFHL. though i will say again that i think it is So fucking special that in ep10 lulu specifically calls out isami taking care of her after smith dies and it apparently happens to such a degree that like. he is worth her time traveling back to save independently aswell? even though there was no way that he "took care of her" for more than a couple days? which i think just says so much abt isami in the sense that like. at no point before ep6-7ish in his arc would he have even entertained that idea. uwu

i think i said this before but ikd if i included the screenshot but. the fact that while bravern is dying he sees THAT SAME FUCKING PICTURE is just evidence that men do not take enough photos i think

there is literally Nothing more onbrand for bravern than the fucking. "ep13 abema listing" (if anyone who has not heard abt that sees this. it was just a rebroadcast of ep12 mislabeled) sending everyone into a tizzy regarding like. Secret Episode Question Mark except half of everyone being convinced its an april fools joke and the other half being convinced that the april fools joke is that we didn't expect it. and then it turns out to not be interntional atall and the real april fools joke is Fry Pan. SOBS

Crunchyroll I Am Begging You If You Dub This Please Dub The Songs Too Oh My God (<- delusional)

anyways!!!!!!!!!!! again i know recency bias is the killa but god. i really loved this show a lot!!!! it might be an alltime fave story for me in general!!!!!! even if it's not it was a really special experiance and story on the whole and i'm just really really happy i get to carry it in my heart forever :]

[duncankinnie]

so i ran the TD cast through brantsteele's danganronpa simulator. here's the cast

predetermined roles: leshawna protagonist, harold smart guy deuteragonist, noah antagonist.

big s/o to @tdsierra for help with choosing protag/smart character/antag, justifying each murder, and for also just absolutely slaying in general

below the cut is the full rundown of the specifics!

chapter 1

victims: heather & cody. heather is the "seemingly important" character that becomes the first victim, and cody is basically cannon fodder

killer: izzy. she wants nothing more than to shake up the game and i salute her

chapter 2

victim: harold/duncan. this is where the predetermined plot derails. gives leshawna some development probably. lost lenore type beat. an alternate here could be duncan but this is how the generator decided it. harold victim route sees noah become the new smart guy deuteragonist and alejandro become the new antagonist killer: sierra. distraught over the loss of cody she decides to hit the group where it hurts and kill the smartest one. alternate duncan route is where she notices that courtney and gwen spearheaded the previous trial to focus on heather's murder and so she kills duncan to spite them

chapter 3

victim: courtney. she and gwen's friendship/relationship kinda starts to implode after they start blaming one another for the deaths thus far. gwen blames courtney for cody (and duncan) and courtney potentially blames gwen for duncan's death. leads to tensions that end with courtney dead

killer: gwen. self-defense, after the two start fighting again, courtney brings out a weapon and gwen defends herself, with the culmination being that gwen kills her closest ally. gets rly nervous in the trial and goes under suspicion for a long time due to being friends with leshawna

chapter 4

victim: owen. this one is a straight up accidental murder. lindsay plans on either defending herself from possible attacks or straight out killing someone to escape and owen ends up in her crossfire and she kills him accidentally

killer: lindsay. again, completely accidental. black comedy here tbh, lindsay only incapacitated him at first and then she decided she might as well finish the job and thus she spends an unreal amnt of time trying to figure out how to kill him

chapter 5

victim: noah. again the generator fell off in terms of the predetermined plot but this could be a v good character moment for justin as a sleeper antagonist

killer: justin. in the duncan survivor route where alejandro is the one currently running the gambit on antagonism, justin attempts to one-up him by killing the smartest player in the game. in the harold survivor route justin is jealous of noah's power in the game and decides to try and off him for good. either way it stems from jealousy and his narcissism

survivors

alternate chapter 2 route: alejandro, eva, harold, leshawna, tyler

other key plot points

aletyler canon. chapter 4 has a big tyler moment where he realizes that he's forcing feelings for lindsay and that he really likes alejandro. in either route tyler is his closest ally and best friend, which makes tyler evil-adjacent in the duncan survivor route. alejandro returns the feelings and they make it official not long after

eva/noah alliance. in the harold survivor route that makes eva evil-adjacent. izzy is also let into the alliance but commits murder before they can really solidify as a power trio. escope supremacy real in all timelines

alt route. already mentioned but this gives both replayability and different dynamics. literally bespoke imo

no secret mastermind/traitor, just vibes (and murder). chris is there to try and provoke tensions but other than that there's no real defined Big Bad. while noah/alejandro are definitely the most antagonistic of the group they're just as vulnerable and likely to die as the rest of the group. this provides a lot more tension and suspense and makes the surprise deaths of seemingly important characters all the more interesting and gut-wrenching

anyway uh. i want to write this but i also have no idea how to write this. if someone wants to coauthor hit me up fr fr. gonna be hyperfixating on this forever now thank u <3

[masonsystem]

the next game i plan to play is TWEWY. unlike the other games ive been playing recently i will not be going into this game blind bc that is impossible for me, cuz ive lived with the worlds biggest twewy fan who is my brother. literally have memories from 2009/2010 of hearing the twewy ost from his ds first thing in the morning. he has also told me the entire lore of this game multiple times. i also tried to play it before in like 2016 or 2017 cuz my brother rly wanted me to and he was like 'its shorttt you can do it'. He Was Lying. and i also watched like 80% of his neotwewy playthru.

so im going to try again now as a More Experienced Gamer. hoping to finish before the end of january cuz thats when i see him again and i wanna hv scholarly discussions abt it with him. and maybe ill play neotwewy if i feel like it (i doubt this). for fun i want to list down everything i know abt the game from my brother so after i finish it i can revisit this post and laugh at it

- "What's a meme?"

- i dont actually know what a meme is. i remember this gameplay mechanic confusing me

- everybody is DEAD and this is PURGATORY or something like that. i still dont really understand what the reaper's game is despite knowing abt twewy for like 16 years

- this game is not a week long my brother LIED. i thought the game would end after one week which is why i tried it back then LOL i know that theres three weeks.. i think..

- shiki doesnt actually look like that thts actually the appearance of her toxic yuri friend or something. i remember this Very vividly bc its like the biggest plot reveal from week one and i remember being like WOAHHHH and jaw-dropped and it was so awesome. its still so awesome! im excited to experience that again

- beat and rhythm are hit by a car but the cars look like sharks bc uh.. hm...

- i actually dont know why the enemies look like that. i know theyre like..... Negative Spirit Energy or SMTH LIKE THAT but why they take the form of animals... idk

- Calling..... Someone is Callinggg 🎶

- the music is really good

- EVERYONE IS SO SKINNY ITS ALMOST SCARY

- fashion fashion that mechanic is fun. you need bravery in order to crossdress which gives you epic stats. which i think is very fun!

- also fuck im realizing that this is a squarenix jrpg meaning im gonna have to be planning members stats and all that shit again. and while i do miss doing that, i hope twewy's 2008 (2007?) design isnt too asswater and is actually functional

- THE COMBAT IS HARD i remember having to draw shit with my left hand while my right hand had to tap buttons! like what!!! according to my brother the combat utilizes every part of the ds, even things like the microphone and closing the screen, and is why he likes this game so much. i hope i can like it as much as him

- im nekuuuu and im rude and unfriendly and i cant remember anything and im mean but I'll Become Kinder as the game progresses

- neku chokes shiki??? i think he was trying to kill her??? so he could leave the game or something.. and she was floating? i have levitation powers???

- i dont remember if i get epic powers.. i feel like thats something i shouldve remembered

- i dont know what the math dude does in this game. i dont remember what all the dudes with the wings are called or what their deal is but ohhh i remember them all pissing me off

- THE FUCKING PIN GAME pins??? badges?? bottlecaps??? i dont remember but i remember that minigame pissing me offff. fuck im gonna have to experience squarenix minigames again

- there is so much dialogue wohfuisdhfjk Squarenix JRPG.

- shiki DISAPPEARS at the end of the first week.. for some reason.. and neku plays a second week so he can bring her back. and that happens again for the third week where i think??? beat and rhythm disappears at the end of the second week? but this time neku isnt just betting on bringing his friends back HES BETTING ON THE FAITH AND GOODWILL OF THE ENTIRE WORLD somethinggg like that

- joshua is the new partner for week 2 and he is such a gay boy.

- Mother and father calls me Joshua ohohohoho

- only dead people can enter the reaper's game and if you win you get another chance at life or something?? idk why tho..

- beat and rhythm entered the game bc they were running away from home cuz they have shitty parentsss and then they got hit by a car

- and shiki attempted suicide i think

- and neku can't remember how he entered the game.. oh... so mysterious....

- it was because joshua shot him with a gun

- and joshua is God because this is a Squarenix JRPG

- joshua wanted neku to show him humanity's worth or SOMETHING cuz neku was a kid who had lost faith in humanity or something like that??

- and joshua disappears in the ending i think very ambiguousss

- The World Begins With You....

[lanshappycorner]

what is beefleaf and why am i going to regret asking that

I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Beefleaf are like doomed toxic yuri AND yaoi in one go they are only my favorite ship ever in the hit novel TGCF

Spoilers under the cut

Beefleaf is a ship between Shi Qingxuan(SQX) and Ming Yi, whose real name is He Xuan(HX) so I will be referring to him as HX (I've included both masc and fem pics them. They r both yaoi and yuri)

I'll just summarize it briefly and say that basically HX was born with a shiny sparkly fate and he was supposed to achieve great things and become a god. Meanwhile SQX was born with a pretty...unfortunate fate. I mean he wasn't destined for anything great, and allegedly (my memories r a little rusty sorry) he was supposed to be haunted by this ghost that would lead to Bad Things Happening.

SQX's brother, however, was born with an excellent fate, and became a god. Once he ascended to godhood, he basically switched HX and SQX's fates. This is ONLY possible because they were born at the exact same time💀 and its also what sets off an extremely unfortunate chain of events

HX became haunted by a ghost and his life went downhill, everyone around him kept dying and eventually he went on a murder spree for revenge and became a powerful ghost himself. He sought revenge after SQX and SQX's brother by disguising himself as a god (he killed the earth god Ming Yi and took his place).

However, when he befriended SQX, he came to realize that SQX was actually a really good person, and was completely unaware that his brother switched their fates. SQX is rly popular but it's implied that HX was probably his only real friend in the entire court, and they were like....super close

In the arc where everything unravels, HX devises many scenarios that allows SQX to find out the truth about all of his brother's crimes (and at some point his brother even locks SQX himself up). Idk how to tell u this but their brotherly relationship is so ass like his brother is controlling and SQX knows this but cares abt him too much to go against him

Eventually despite knowing all the things he did, SQX still sides with him, and this leads to a ✨️tragedy✨️ because he doesn't realize his best friend is the guy trying to kill his brother um . Ultimately they get locked up together and HX beheads SQX's brother in front of him, but SQX isn't actually harmed and he's sent to the mortal realm to become human

(Also this is awful but HX gave SQX 3 chances to not side with his brother because for once in his life, he wanted his best friend to side with Him rather than his brother, but he was never chosen. In the scene where he beheads SQX's brother, SQX pleads desperately to him and referrs to him as his earth god name instead of his real name, and this sets off frustration in him because he wanted SQX to see him as himself...)

It's implied that HX still cares for SQX though even after everything because SQX had a signature fan he carried around, and HX (in disguise) returns it to him. Both of them care deeply about each other but their relationship will never be the same and cannot be mended :(

[yeehawbvby]

TIME FOR THE ETHIE (my tloz oc) INFO THAT NONE OF YOU ASKED FOR because my adoration for botw/totk is so fucking strong rn!!!!

Putting it under a cut bc longpost go brrr

General lore:

- In every life she has, she’s Beedle’s cousin, and they’re almost always besties!! While they often have different lifestyles they still make time to hang out

- Ethie and Link have some kinda soulmate thing going on, whether it’s just as friends or as something more romantic. In every timeline though, Ethie crushes on him hard

- Sometimes she’s more stereotypically domestic like in the Windwaker or Skyward Sword timelines, but oftentimes she winds up being devoted to a craft of some sort!

- She’s tiny, like, even shorter than Link. Gets mistaken for a child a lot bc of this (just like me fr)

- Super strong!! Always!

- Loves nature, loves bugs, doesn’t always love fighting but is very good at it anyway. More into light swords than anything, but is very good with a bow and arrow too

- Her horse of choice (if she has one) is usually named after a food, not keeping a consistent name like Epona

- Autistic because obviously

BotW:

- Ethie is a blacksmith! She lives in one of the Bolson homes in Hateno (although the layout is a little different in my HC)

- She travels often, making deliveries all over Hyrule rather than having her customers need to come to her. She enjoys it, especially loving being able to explore for ores/materials and stay at the cozy stables

- She has a horse named Parsnip, because her color scheme matches one

- Her parents are farmers that also live in Hateno, and she meets Link while they’re ogling over the Hero of Hyrule coming to their little village (her dad instantly recognized him, but her mom was skeptical and had to warm up to the idea of it really being him a bit)

- They hit it off as buddies and travel together, since Ethie usually has deliveries to make wherever Link is going anyway

- She’s small and angry and easy to tease, like a chihuahua, but like she has to be!! Especially with all the monsters and Tall People and stuff!

- Because of this, when she starts having feelings for Link, she gets tsundere about it. Because of course she does!! She feels scared and vulnerable, she’s never rly been the romantic type!

- Speaking of which, in BotW times, Link and Ethie never “get together” (they don’t do anything beyond hugging and holding hands sometimes), but they’re both crazy about each other. They’re just fucking idiots and can’t see that the other reciprocates

- When Link goes to fight Ganon, she goes with him. After, Zelda offers for Ethie to be her personal knight as well, given how good of a fighter Ethie is (and also just wanting some female companionship rather than being stuck with Link all the time again lmao)

- Ethie declines, but agrees to go on more important/dangerous trips with Zelda and Link when need be

_____

TotK (if you don’t want spoilers pls don’t read this!):

Her lore isn’t entirely worked out here, but I have 2 things in mind:

Option 1:

- Ethie goes with Link and Zelda the day they “disappear.” Didn’t fall in the hole with Zelda, watched awestruck as Rauru just suddenly appeared to save Link

- She waits on the Sky Island for Link to wake up/Zelda to hopefully come back. At this point she and Zelda are close friends, so she’s just as worried about her, but is mostly focused on making sure Link doesn’t literally die

- Rauru obviously helps Ethie learn how to live (without a cool hand or magic or whatever) on the islands, and even helps her find or make her own cool Zonai clothes to wear

- They become close friends!! Rauru actually enjoys her company a lot more than Ethie realizes (he’s mostly excited to have a friend that isn’t dead or a robot though fkdkvemdkw)

- When Link finally wakes up, she helps Rauru teach Link how to get by. When they’re back on mainland, she accompanies him the whole journey to find Zelda, putting her smithing duties on hold until further notice

Option 2:

- Ethie stays home and continues working when Zelda and Link go to the castle

- Despite her worries when they don’t come back for what’s most likely years, she keeps working as a way to distract herself

- Ethie does more traveling just for the heck of it, not wanting to be alone with her thoughts at home. She becomes a lot closer with beings from other regions that she hadn’t often visited before, such as Sidon in Lanayru and Yunobo in Eldin

- When Link comes back eventually, she’s outside in her workshop getting a commission done and sees him walking towards her

- She stops what she’s doing and hides her emotions behind anger, rushing over to him once he’s shaken off all the excited villagers who want to welcome him back

- Ethie throws a fucking tantrum at him, basically

-“Who the fuck just leaves for years and comes back with cool clothes and new tattoos? What the hell were you doing that whole time? Are you so dumb that you got lost? Why else would you not have came back sooner? Why didn’t you send letters? Where is Zelda? Do you know how worried I was?” Etcetera

- He shuts her up/quells her anger by just grabbing her face and smooching. Aw, it’s their first kiss!!

- But because she was just hiding her intense emotions behind anger, this brings them all out and she starts ugly crying and like.. latches onto him lmao

- After everything is out of Ethie’s system, Link explains what happened, and like in the other possible outcome, Ethie goes with Link to find Zelda (she even crafts them some cool glowing armor/weapons for when they go underground)

[ayatoscupid]

holy shit that new trailer made me so fucking sad i have to adopt xiao as a sibling figure now. lore rant under cut

its just. the "fighting hard to not become the very thing they swore to destroy" trope always HITS and xiao is such a tragic character through and through that i think itd be hard for anyone to not feel sorry for him, once they have a deeper look into his story. it can be easy to dismiss him as the growling edgelord character but really just a deeper look in and u can see just how...... sad he is

ive said before that i hold a soft spot for adepti lore- after developing lore for xue yin ive come to rly appreciate what the adepti symbolise n common themes that they have, and how it connects to the overarching themes of genshin as a whole.

idk if ive said this before? i forget what i say in my (few) lore rants here LMFAO but i feel that genshin is, to me, a story about grief. about loss. how it happens, how people cope with it, and how they ultimately move on. a more obvious theme in the narrative is ushering in a new era- mond and inazuma having already done this imo by thriving without their archon's guidance, liyue moving on from the loss of rex lapis, and sumeru finally reuniting with their archon. but in order to welcome a new era you have to say goodbye to the old one- you have to lose the old one and move on. such as the archons have to cherish but move on from old friends and old memories, the people have to as well

adepti are sort of deital beings who served the same purpose for thousands of years and now have to learn to adjust to a liyue thats rapidly changed before their very eyes- and they deal with this change. some of them have already started (ganyu, madame ping), and it comes easier for them

but not for xiao.

im very much not qualified or informed enough to make an in-depth analysis on this specifically but ill say that xiao's current story focuses on his recovery from his ptsd. and i dont think im informed enough to talk about ptsd so i wont- but his recovery is so very carefully written in that its so slow. he's not quick to accept these things and can even be harsh about them. not only is his duty ingrained in his brain from years and years of war, but he is physically unable to stop, lest he succumbs to his karmic debt.

(at least. thats how i remember it. cries if im wrong)

i love how we got an update on him during lantern rite actually (i mean, lantern rite is always xiao time but yk), bc ive been dying to know how hes been since we last saw him in the chasm. and it looks like hes been doing the same old things he usually does- but hes making an active decision in getting better, and that makes me proud of him!!!

he interacts with baizhu and qiqi now (though he leaves right away lol, but from their interactions this isnt the first time theyve taken care of him. cute!!) and he even walks around liyue harbour instead of just leaving, even letting a little girl interact with him and letting her grandpa give him some rice wine (from venti noticing that he's already drank, by the time they see each other)

of course, it's hard- hes constantly haunted by his debt. by the demons he's slayed. by the evil he's purged. by himself. he has nightmares about himself- about his fear of one day becoming the very evil he swore to purge. that's why we get those nightmares of the two xiaos- in it, hes the one with the mask on. hes succumbed to the darkness, and he cant take it off- hes become the very thing he swore to destroy.

(AAAAAAAAAAAAA ANAK NG PUTA ANG SAKIT)

hes still haunted by his nightmares, his secret fears- but hes getting better now. though its slow, and he may not see it, his development is there and its incredibly meaningful. and i Cannot Wait to see more of him, and his journey in learning that: "It's good to take the mask off once in a while... even just for one night."

[unicyclehippo]

Top 5 rocks you've seen

fantastic question it got somewhat long & weird

rock #1093 i was nine & thought it might be a fossil, or pretended it was. my best friend at the time was a freckled gangly boy named hugo & we spent all of our time by the creek at school. we were going to be palaeontologists!

rock #9285866 tiny, irritating, barely more than a chip off the old rock. snuck into my shoe on a walk. spent two more minutes in the sun beneath the trees getting it out of my shoe.

rock #30000087371 i don’t think it rly counts as one rock except in my head. buried in the cliffside of the mountain (small) i climbed with my siblings five christmas’s past. most of the walk had been a million agonising steps switchbacked up through the bush. lantana choked the path on either side, eucalypt stung the air, and the concreted steps were slick with morning rain. it was a single file march all the way up and at each point where the path turned back on itself to creep higher, it was as busy as a bus station as those who were coming back down huddled to wait for everyone climbing, or for some (me) to catch their breath. people laughed, sidestepped. traded quiet happy christmas, good mornings. lantana scratched their ankles as they stepped aside for a stranger. eventually, you hit the last part of the trail. the bush fell away and you came to a great big rock that made up the bald head of the mountain. a trail had been worn over the face of it, a trudging line up the giants cheek and over its brow. i like to imagine it knows we are there. i like to imagine every morning, when the hikers make it to the summit, it watched the sun rise with them.

rock #26778192 this one is very smooth and flat, with bands of different colours. very pretty!

rock #333398023007 i made my way west along a red red road. trucks are the size of skyscrapers here. birds are the size of trucks. there are roos with red dust in their fur that spend their mornings and nights and, for some, their last moments at the side of the road. what would it be like to slow down beside one and offer a ride to the hitchhiker? what would a kangaroo say if it could talk, if it could wrestle its own tail to tuck into the footwell? i would play the songs it only hears in scattered bursts as a car tears down the single lane highway. i would tell it about the city, something it has never known, and the ocean, and get my door and windshield busted by a powerful kick for my troubles, which isn’t the roo’s fault. it’s kind and fun and exciting, in my mind, to tell it about a great desert of water and salt and strange soft creatures but i wasn’t thinking like a kangaroo when i said it. it must be scary, the idea of that much water. it must sound cruel to a desert creature, that much undrinkable water. out near the where the state tips over into true desert, a boy found a rock that was the toe of a dinosaur, the largest in australia. it lived here when the desert was a sea. maybe the kangaroo wouldn’t be scared to hear about the sea. maybe it already knows what it is and it was thoughtless of me to bring it up. it’s kind of cool, don’t you think, that dinosaur bones take in the minerals of the earth and become petrified and fossilised? the earth held them and said how remarkable they are, unforgettable. they became their own headstone.

[matoitech]

2, 4, 5, and 15 for andre, angus, elle, and whoever else you would like for the oc ask thing :D

YAY thank you :D took me a couple days to get to it but i did eventually hehe

andre

2. How easy is it for your character to laugh?

any funny bone in andre's body is somewhere he can't reach lol he is very bad at making jokes when he does try and it takes a lot for them to be Amused

4. How easy is it to earn their trust?

he has like a base level of respect and allowance they give people when he meets them so he's not starting off on the wrong foot with people usually, but becoming someone they really genuinely trust and will open up to will take a while

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

harder than you'd expect? they dont really overthink their interactions with other people and it kind of takes a lot for him to be insulted or upset, so you REALLY have to fuck up

15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

you'd assume he scripts but a lot of it just comes out unless he's talking about things he rly cares about

angus

2. How easy is it for your character to laugh?

he smiles a lot being pretty good natured but he doesn't actually laugh a lot! he's funnier than andre but not That funny, but he appreciates jokes when they don't go over his head, he'll laugh but not super often

4. How easy is it to earn their trust?

if you're a genuine person in whatever way u live ur life he's probably going to vibe with that and respect you. trust on a deeper level ehh he doesn't give it out frequently he tends to stay a little detached from other people he's not close to

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

you really have to hit his morals for him to view you as someone not worth putting stock into but it does happen

15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

he's not very eloquent but people like listening to him :] whether he rehearses or just says shit he can have a hard time properly explaining his thoughts out into words

elle

2. How easy is it for your character to laugh?

she laughs more than she looks but she's still more of like a snicker kinda person than an outright laugh usually. her humor has to match up with someone else's for her to react much to it. sometimes people think the way they laugh is making fun of them but its just how she laughs its not personal. probably

4. How easy is it to earn their trust?

not super difficult honestly. she's closed off but she'll give it a shot. she just comes off as kind of abrasive to a lot of people so she doesn't have a lot of friends

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

it really depends on the person cuz some people she gives a lot bigger leash to some than others

15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

she's self aware enough to watch her mouth sometimes but not Always lol a lot of the time she DOES just say shit bcuz she doesn't think about how its going to come off until it leaves her brain

[shifthours]

OK I THINK ITS A RLY COOL (I MEAN NOT COOL BUT) THEORY I don't think it will happen in canon but the idea of will becoming a villan also makes a ton of sense bcs vecna was like oh I wanna build the perfect world and he tried to get el to build it with him but she was like fuck off and banished him 2 the upside down BUT as you can see with vecnas family home being the upside down, he can kind of manipulate it to be what he likes BUT maybe he needs help (why he was trying 2 recruit el before) and MAYB vecna could sort of sense wills powers forming or his potential for powers forming in season one, which is why he stalked him amd kidnapped him, trying to absorb his power. It wld also explain why the world froze in the time that will went missing bcs vecna wanted to make his own world out of the world they already had, he can just make a small scale copy of one town and start to build his own world in the upside down, and then after absorbing wills power could spread back out into the real world (another theory i have was vecna wanted to bring will into the upside down to truly awaken his powers, not absorb them but make them stronger so he could use will later) BUT will gets away blah blah, but will still has a very strong connection with the upside down (which may have been intentional on vecnas part!!).

Flash forward to season 4, vecnas doing his thing cursing ppl whtever, and we know vecna preys on those with traumatic memories (WHICH WILL HAS WAYYY TOO MANY OF!!) and maybe when will gets vecna'd, vecna doesn't try to kill him but instead tries to talk to him, convince him to look at his life in a different way (the same type eof speech he gave el when he was trying to get her 2 joi him). He might reveal to will that he is capable of using powers like el's and that together they can make a better world with no more suffering in the boxes society puts them into and yk what I feel like that type of speech might hit will harder than it hit el (ESP IF BEFORE WILL GETS VECNA'D, MAYBE HE OVERHEARS MIKE AND EL REUNITING AND IS LIKE WELL SHIT BCS HE THOUGHT HE HAD A CHANCE THERE). When vecna gave his speech to el she was just a kid, she didn't know about the world, she didn't really have things or people she cared abt just a sense of good and bad within her, but otherwise that's it. Meanwhile Will keeps getting beaten down over and over since he was a kid, lonnies abuse, bullying all through his life by everyone, getting taken into the upside down, not being able to escape the horror of the upside down bcs it keeps attaching itself to him (possession, him feeling whenever it's near), and now when he's trying to be happy again everyone around him is in danger AND his best friend/crush (WHO HE JUST GOT BACK and probably thought there might b smth there) is probably going 2 ignore him again now that he's reunited with el.

AND if you think about it, he's never truly opened up abt this shit 2 anyone his entire life. Whenever somebody asks him if he's okay or if somethings wrong he always lies and says it is WHEN ITS NOT. He has all those memories and feelings and thoughts roiling inside of him with nowhere to go and I think joining vecna would be like a release for him.

Vecna reinforces all these thoughts, like yes the world is an awful, awful place, but you and me, with our combined powers can fix it, make it however we want.

And I think will, in pain from reliving the traumatic memories as vecna makes them appear, as well as having his judgement of the real world temporarily clouded by vecna, would join forces with him.

[39oa]

maxf /op inverse career trajectories is so important... fic rec for u if u haven't already read-- works/49185733

omg yesss this is one of my favorite fics in the tag!!! (+ the social media one... anon authors rly make the world go around 🥹) i enjoy toxic codependent friendships more than i do actual romance so it really hits the spot for me LOL :')

tbh what's wild to me is that maxf is already such a good foil through which you can understand lando's personality and emotional attachments ("i'm not friends with you because of your accomplishments in life" being facetious and a dig and also completely serious all at the same time) but then you throw oscar in and it's like bwoah... ok hello Dimensions. there's actually an interview where mia specifically contrasted their attachment styles and basically said max couldn't handle the pressure of being alone in the paddock while oscar ~THRIVED~ off his independence and i think that's soo delicious in the context of their r/s to lando. like of course oscar is only peripherally related to max's burnout but lando essentially becoming his househusband afterward and highkey caring about max's wellbeing more than he does his own, but then also having outgrown him and trying to minimize the plainness of this fact, maxf no longer being privy to feeling envy or bitterness for a life he gave up himself, etc. is truly........... i feel crazy thinking about it!

[asparagusgremlin]

Finished the p4 anime tonight and i loved it. It made me laugh so much and gives Yu a lot of character. And there's so much souyo propoganda like holy shit, yosuke saves yu THREE TIMES and yosuke's s link rank 10 REALLY set it up for if you replaced him saying "i want you to hit me" with "i love you" it would not feel unnatural with any of the prior dialogue. There's also smaller stuff (*cough* school festival *cough*) and it's all so funny. I think watching the anime was a rly good idea because it gave me more p4 content and it was generally a fun time.

It makes me sad that the anime messed up Teddie though. Idk if I've ever talked about this on here but i always talk to my friends about how he is not supposed to be making bear puns the second you meet him in the TV world, he's supposed to be a stupid timid little creature that doesnt know anything, and through you getting to know him and him getting to know you he becomes the silly little guy everyone knows him as now, but it feels like all adaptations of p4 just forget that. I think I've seen a few panels of the beginning of the p4 manga that also do the same thing of making him annoying right off the bat. He's one of my favorite characters and it makes me really upset to see adaptations completely butcher his character development.

That's really my one major complaint about the anime though. I wish it had more time to do stuff cuz it felt a liiittle bit rushed at the end BUT i think the pacing of everything is pretty well done. Overall i love the anime and im really glad i decided to watch it.

[mikyouknow]

I’ve been thinking about if I should speak on this situation or not for a lil while now.. mostly because my blog has been pretty inactive for months now, despite me still being very deep in the fandom. There’s several reasons for why I p much stopped posting, but bottom line is I did, but I didn’t leave the fandom itself. I’m still here.

The other reason I haven’t made this post earlier is because I feel very on the fence about this whole thing.. I want to start off by saying I don’t see this as a grooming incident. But I am feeling uncomfortable with the fact that Dream was the one who wanted to move the conversation to Snapchat, I’m trying hard to think of a reason why he’d want to move the convo from Instagram to Snapchat if it wasn’t just to get a place where what they say will be deleted so he can act inappropriately. I’ve been trying to look to others for this and try to fit their reasonings into perhaps why he did this, but at the end of the day I’m still waiting for more information on the situation and confirmations of what is lies and what isn’t when it comes to the accusations. But the fact that he did bring fans to Snapchat to have private convos with them makes me.. uncomfortable. If this is something he’s been doing I’d like to know how these conversations went and that it was just friendly chats before I’d feel comfortable enough to keep following him. So that’s my current stance on that.

Overall, this shit fucking hurts and fucking sucks. Finding this fandom was so, so meaningful to me when I first stumbled upon it all. And through my time here I’ve met some amazing people and made one amazing friend in particular that I don’t even want to imagine my life without. I’ve also posted a lot of fanfics and had so, so much fun with that, and gotten such amazing response from this incredible fanbase. These two years has provided me with such insane joy I never thought I’d experience, and it’s not something I’m ready to let go of. I really, really do not want to leave. I want to stay here, for as long as possible.

But this whole situation has really messed with me, and I’m still trying to figure out exactly which part of it that gets me so upset. It might just be because of my own trauma getting triggered, I’m not sure yet.

All I know is that I’m uncomfortable with the current situation, saddened to see so many people hurting and even leaving. It’s understandable why, but it’s still sad. And I also feel for Dream. Especially if the allegations are all fake, this is really horrible shit to go through. Esp with the past two weeks he’s had, with face revealing, meeting George, going to his very first convention and meeting fans for the first time, ALL IN THE SAME WEEK!! And then this happens, like he rly can’t catch a break…

Anyways, this post is a bit scattered and that’s because I feel quite scattered atm. I rly wanna stay, I am staying, but I’m also quite uncomfortable by the whole thing. So, just gonna see how it all plays out and hope things aren’t as bad as the allegations are making it out to be. I think what also makes this thing even harder to take in is that Dream just face revealed, and my first reaction to seeing him was full on ‘who the fuck is that??’ And since then I’ve had to reacquaint myself with the guy that is Dream, completely throwing away the vague idea I had of him in my head to replace him with this stranger I’d never seen before. That alone has taken a bit to get used to. And then these allegations hit, and I already feel like Dream has become more of a stranger than ever before through his face reveal, so it’s really hard to puzzle this all together and see that the Dream I follow is not at all who I thought he was in so many ways, more than just his face.

But I’m gonna stick around for now, maybe try to be more active on here cause ppl are leaving and it’s probably good for us who are left to speak up. But those are my current feelings on this.

Also I don’t think anyone who sees this won’t already know who @mcecologist is but go follow if you’re looking for more ppl who are sticking around! Mc is rly keeping me mentally stable rn and also carrying this whole fandom atm so just wanted to give a lil shoutout, as if I’m pointing at the cozy cabin up the hill that still has the lights on<3