#and honestly y'all look really ridiculous pretending you somehow know it all

[seawitchkaraoke]

i just think. hmmm.

i think making a conflict between two individuals out to be about whether ‘‘women are often not believed when they come forward as having been abused by powerful men’‘ or ‘‘male victims of abuse are often not believed because people think men can’t be abused’‘ is a bigger or more ‘’real’‘ issue is....... maybe..... not ideal

[mysticprofessoralienhumanoid]

Maribat ideas I will probably never write

Now, before we start.

I realize that those may have already been made but I've never seen them and everything here came from my mind. But if you remember the titles, please tell me them or send a link to the stories, I'd love to read them.

This can be whatever ship you want Connorette, Daminette, Cassandra x Marinette, Brucinette... Any ship.

Here I'll refer to them just as the bats or one of the bats, or just choose a random one of them simply because I don't know the exact person that'd fit in the au with Marinette so I'm just leaving it up to you but... yeah.

[And yes, I know I said it could be Connor or Jon or anyone else, and I know they are not part of Batclan but for the lack of better word, just roll with it]

Yes, you can use any of them, but please tag me (i really want to read what you came up with) and include the link to my post so maybe someone else could use any other of these.

And if want to add anything or just brainstorm in the comments I'd love to do it with you, so don't be shy and say what you think (constructive critism only).

Maybe i will update this, but for now feel free to use any of these over 20 (i think at least) ideas I came with in these past 2 weeks cuz i was bored.

And before you start, I'm thinking of making mafia boss! Marinette AU, but i don't know what ship it should be... Suggestions? (Just not the love square please)

Hope you like it.

-------------------------------------------------------

Violinist Marinette. The Waynes got invited to a concert in which Mari played a solo. And they're all just enchanted with her talent.

Marinette a Badass Dancer. None of the bats is a dancer in this AU and I don't really have any direction where this would go, but i just had a scene where she kicks their asses even though she doesn't have much (or any) exprience in martial arts. Just her spinning and kicking one of them mid-spin in the face or... somewhere else...

So the scene is a Wayne Gala, right? Jagged Stone dares Marinette to sing a song on a stage (there’s live music band, i guess?). Everyone’s mesmerised by her voice and Jagged can be heard screaming “That’s my niece!” in the backround. I really want her to sing Creep , a cover by Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox ft. Haley Reinhart or Crazy in Love , also a cover made by Sofia Karlberg, though any other song is fine too

Bats and Marinette in a band. That's it. That's the whole AU.

One of the bats is sitting under a tree, all peacefully and relaxed, but then they look up to see a random girl with dark blue hair (??) just hanging upside down from a branch like an actual freaking bat. She gives them a heart attack.

Another Au with singing Marinette lol. In this one Marinette likes to sing in a park every other day and Damian comes here one day and hears her and is like “wow.”, and since then he comes there everyday in hopes of hearing her sing and getting her number. And maybe Luka or Adrien play while she sings, that’d be cool

Guys, Marinette and the Waynes being neighbours. No, but imagine. Them seeing some girl watering plants every week for a month or two and then not seeing her for a long period of time, and they're kinda worried, but then she's back and they're confused, because where the hell she'd been, the house looked like not used and just where the hell was she? Marinette seeing some... Weird things happening in the Wayne backyard. Balconies being in front of each other, so they're balcony neighbours too (the romance, the fluff, even the angst, guys). Marinette going to them with baked goods and introducing herself as their neighbour. Them going to hers and welcoming her with a basket of Alfred's cooking. 

Jason has to participate in a dating show because he lost a bet and Mari's one of the participants too...

Duke needs a date to a wedding (i don't know whose, your choice) and Marinette's his best friend, so be my fake date to this wedding?

Marinette as Tim's daughter??

The greatest showman AU. (Sibling dickinette. On the trapeze-)

Forget rouges, superheroes and vigilantes. Underground dancers. Because it's what i need, y'all

So in this, WE is a dance company, and Marinette's maybe an intern in a fashion department. One day Dick's going to one of the practice rooms where's been scheduled a meeting with a designer for his costume for the next show. Instead he's met with a girl he sees for the first time, practically flying on the dance floor. Just as he's about to reveal himself the rest comes and it turns out this is the fashion designer and it seems as no one knows she's an amazing dancer too

Teachers AU + Rivals AU = utter chaos. Them teaching the same subject and competing for their class' loves and/or arguing whose close is better. [Bonus points if everyone's thinking they hate each others guts, but they're secretly dating]

Fencers AU - on the same team on different teams, your choice. (And this honestly suits with Kagami too. I'm up for kagami x bat/marinette)

Damian in the park with Mar'i, but he's having trouble, because this kid has so much energy. How?? Just when he thinks he can take a breath, he notices Mar'i has wandered off and is talking to a young woman, so he rushes there and try to apologize, but she says it's no problem at all. Suddenly this gorgeous girl offers him her help. It looks like Mar'i has taken liking to her and he's so tired, so he agrees and for the rest day watches two Mari's play together and falls in love with the older one. Plotwist: this was plan all along. Mar'i is the ultimate wingwoman.

All the Wayne siblings decided to go to one of those haunted houses for a halloween and there's this petite girl who tagged along their group somehow. They didn't expect to see this tiny girl punching the worker dressed as a monster and knocking the daylight out of him. But it was so worth getting kicked out.

Marinette's a ghost and these four men came to her house and apparently they're doing a ghost investigation?? I mean, she was getting a bit lonely and bored, maybe it's time to "gain some friends" (read: scare the living out of them).

Pretty much the above but with bat/s as ghost/s and Marinette as the paranormal investigator with her team (i honestly want one of them to be Kagami, i don't know why). In both you need to decide who's a skeptic and who believes. It's fun, the ghost is trying to scare them off, but they're stubborn.

Sibling dickinette where Marinette calls her older brother everytime she wants to get out of a date and so he pretends to "arrest" her. (And then maybe dick decides to play a matchmaker and sets her up with one of his adoptive siblings)

Marinette as a lawyer. Her going against LexCorps who framed Wayne Enterprises for something. Or maybe Bruce was accused of murder (that he obviously did not commit) and now she has to prove his innocence. I just really want to read about badass lawyer Marinette, guys

Merlin AU. Is there any AUs with Marinette being Merlin and saving Arthur's ass (I honestly think it should be Chloe, no joke)?

Mominette where she adopts Cassandra. I just imagined them going to ballet lessons together and cooking and now I'm soft.

Marinette got dared by her friends to set a trap for the passerby that involved eggs, toy train and glitter and to then to pretend they're her ex and they cheated in her, and Jason had the misfortune to be that passerby. (Yes, this is probably crack lol)

Tim can rap. Marinette can rap. What could go wrong?? (Yes, this is probably crack too)

There's this girl they see every year when to go on trick-or-treating and she always has the most amazing or scariest costumes. But Damian will not go without a fight and so every year they compete over who has the better costume. This year they just so conveniently dressed up as the famous Halloween couple.

Jon is 17 now and it seems as no one is interested in him. He jokingly tells Damian he supects theres a ghost that's in love with him and they keep away any potential lovers from him. He doesn't know how much he's right. Marinette though, is freaking out.

Marinette decided to take a part-time job at a local pool as a life guard. There's a sudden increase in people coming to said pool but also a dramatic increase in people pretending to drown. Conner is one of them.

Marinette plays a therapist to all of the batfam. The amount of the ridiculous problems she had to listen to... She could write a book and she would make millions out of it, she swears.

"Some say "revenge is a dish best served cold.", then i read "revenge is sweet", so i came to conclusion revenge is ice cream." Huh, so that'd explain the sudden disappearance of ice cream in whole Gotham Jason had been hearing about for the past week from Bruce. The question is, what that petite bluenette is planning to do and who is going to be a victim of her ice cream revenge?

Tim had been in coma for a month after the drug bust, and he has just woken up. The first thing he does? He picks up the argument he and Marinette had been having before he's been put into a coma.

The couple at the place Jason had been at, started making out loudly, so he started making loud noises while eating his ice cream. They stopped. And he got this cute barista's phone number when she was walking past him.

Marinette's at the spa when she overhears two guys betting who can eat more slices of cucumber (that were supposed to be put on their eyelids) and she decided to participate. Safe to say they were all banned from all the spas in Gotham

Can i please get Jason/Duke/anyone making up a bedtime story for Marinette after she woke up from a nasty nightmare? I need it

Every morning and night Marinette pretends to be asleep just so she can feel Damian pull her closer, kiss her temple and whisper how much he loves her

Roy listening to Jason complaining about each first encounter of her girlfriend with his siblings and Bruce. Each is more ridiculous than the one before. He listens to it, after he and Marinette had gone through their own weird af first meeting.

Dick was so busy laughing at the bluenette who'd just walked into a post, he ran into the same post minute later. She asked him out... After she finished laughing and telling him karma's a bitch

Dick likes to think he's the reason Jason and Marinette got married. To his last days he will brag about how at his and Kori's wedding Marinette caught the bouquet, tripped and Jay caught her.

Jason asked Marinette on a date to one of the restaurant the WE owned. Then as a test, he told her he couldn't pay for all the expensive dishes they ordered. She took his hand and they ran out of the building. He's convinced he's going to marry her.

[moonstruckholland]

Sober (t.h)

Word count: 1,918

Warnings: drinking, fluff, tiny bits of angst

A/N: The second oneshot for Cosmic Souls! I really hope y'all like this 💕 let me know what you think if you do and if you want, you can find the first oneshot in my masterlist 🥰 also, as always, shout out to the amazing @fangirlwithasweettooth for reading this over

It was obvious by the way you were dressed you hadn't originally planned on having Tom over.

Usually, you didn't care much for getting dressed up when you hung out with Tom at your place, opting for a pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. Not that he ever minded, he loved that you felt comfortable enough to be yourself around him.

Tonight though you had on a pretty floral dress that complimented your skin and more makeup than you usually cared to put on, pops of color and shimmer on your lids that added to the natural sparkle in your eyes.

Tom thought you looked beautiful.

Though, to be fair, there hadn't been a moment since he met you three years ago, in the music history class the both of you were forced to take, where he hadn't thought you looked absolutely stunning.

"So, what exactly happened tonight, love?" He looked up to where you were sitting next to him on the couch, hoping he didn't seem too eager to hear your answer, "You were pretty vague with the details over the phone."

"Fuck, Tommy, it was horrible," you took a sip of your cup, that was mostly filled with vodka, scrunching your nose as the liquid went down your throat, "I had a date tonight with that dude I was telling you about the other day, from my child and family development class."

Tom felt a pang in his chest as he remembered exactly who you were talking about, recalling how you fawned over him while the two of you were having lunch together, mentioning something about wanting to jump his bones.

He felt just as jealous then as he did now, wondering if you'd ever noticed the fact that he would literally do anything for you.

"Not only was he almost an hour late, didn't even bother to warn me, by the way," you rolled your eyes, bringing your cup to your lips again, "He wouldn't stop talking about his ex the whole time, but I'm getting ahead of myself, let me start from when he finally picked me up."

You continued on, taking large gulps of your drink as the details of the story got worse and worse.

Tom followed in your footsteps, drinking more from his cup than he had originally planned when you first handed it to him, each sip helping him refrain from blurting out what he actually wanted to say to you.

It was safe to say by the time you were done talking, the two of you were definitely tipsy.

It was safe to say by the time you were done talking, Tom was definitely buzzed. You on the other hand were on a completely different level, taking shots in between drinks, going harder than Tom had ever seen.

You had just finished your third cup, already working on your fourth one, while Tom had barely taken sips of his third one, figuring it'd be best if at least one of you slowed down.

"How do you manage to find the worst guys to go on dates with?"

You sighed, "I don't know, I just want one actually nice guy to want me, that's it."

'I want you,' is what Tom's thoughts were begging him to say. Instead he gave you a sympathetic smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, "You'll have that some day, darling."

You leaned back on the couch, sadness overcoming your features, "I wish there were more guys like you, Tommy."

He barely had time to register your words, his head fuzzy from the alcohol, before you distracted him with an awkward cough, mumbling something about it being too warm.

"Maybe you should take that as a sign to take a break."

Just like that the sadness washed away, replaced with a wicked smile, "I don't know what you're talking about, I'm only getting started."

Tom rolled his eyes, getting up from the couch with a groan and walking over to the fridge to get a couple of water bottles and the bag of chips on the kitchen counter, knowing you'd have the worst hangover if he didn't get some food and something non-alcoholic in your system.

He brought them over to you, handing you the bottle and putting the chips on your lap, "Eat something please, darling."

"Don't wanna eat," you shook your head stubbornly, "I wanna dance."

Before Tom could protest, you downed the rest of your cup before jumping up and grabbing his hand, pulling him up with you. "C'mon, dance with me, Tommy, please."

"But there's no music."

Tom expected you to do the easy thing and connect your phone to your Bluetooth speakers and play one of the dozens of playlists you had on Spotify, instead you caught him off guard by belting out the lyrics to What Makes You Beautiful.

He couldn't help the laughter that bursted from him as you started swaying and twirling while you sang.

It was totally ridiculous, but Tom found himself singing along with you, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close so you could sway together.

After a while you stopped singing and put your head on his chest, making his heart hurt. He wished this was more than what it was, more than him comforting you after a bad date.

Tom tried not to dwell on his negative thoughts, deciding to just close his eyes, lay his head on top of yours, and enjoy having you close to him like this.

He got lost in you, the feeling of your hands in his and the way your body was pressed against him, so close he could smell the scent of your favorite perfume.

He'd been close to you so many times over the years, but something about this was inherently different, more intimate than you'd ever been before.

There was nothing he wanted more than to stay in this moment, in your embrace, for the rest of the night and honestly he would've if you hadn't somehow tripped over his feet, resulting in the two of you falling back onto the couch.

You landed on top of Tom, drunken giggles escaping your lips, "Are you okay?"

"I'm cutting you off for the night," he huffed, making you laugh even more as you attempted to apologize.

You rolled off of him after a moment, your chest rising rapidly as you tried to catch your breath. It took everything in him not to pull you back, his body aching for your warmth as soon as it was gone

"I think...it's time for bed."

"Good idea," Tom stood up, holding out his hand to help you do the same.

"Will you pretty please carry me? I have jelly legs."

Tom couldn't help rolling his eyes at you, "Jelly legs from what? You're the one that fell on me."

"Please?" You pouted, "Because you love me?"

'I really do.'

If he had wanted to, he would've put up a fight, but deep down he knew he would do anything you asked of him. You had him completely wrapped around your finger.

"Fine," he said, pretending to be annoyed, as if he hadn't already decided he would carry you the second you asked him to.

He hooked one arm underneath your legs, the other under your back, holding you close to his chest as he carried you to your bedroom.

"Thank you for taking care of me, Tommy," you said softly as he laid you down, pulling your blanket over you and pressing a kiss to your forehead.

"I'll always be here to take care of you."

'I'd do anything for you.'

He was about to leave your room and pass out on the couch, when you grabbed his arm, "Stay with me? Please?"

He nodded, wordlessly crawling under the covers beside you.

You turned over so you were facing him, your hands in between you, just barely touching Tom's, an unreadable expression on your features.

"What are you thinking about?"

You shook your head, "It's so dumb."

He gently nudged your leg with his, "Tell me, darling."

"I-fuck, okay," you looked down, suddenly very interested in the pattern on your blanket. "I swear there wasn't a moment tonight where I hadn't wished I was with you."

"After what you told me, I wish I was there too."

"No, Tommy, you don't get it," you chewed your lip nervously, looking everywhere but at him, "I don't just feel this way about this date, it's every date."

Your words weren't really clicking in Tom's head and he was starting to think the alcohol was having more of an effect on him than he originally thought.

"I want you to be the one to pick me up and take me to dinner. I want to hold your hand when we go to the movies," you voice got lower the more you talked and you shyly peeked up through your lashes to gauge Tom's reaction, "I want to kiss you and murmur how much I love you against your lips."

Tom's heart was beating hard against his chest, the sound so loud in his ears he could barely hear you.

He couldn't believe it. Were you really saying the words he's been wanting to hear since the day he met you?

If his head wasn't buzzing with a million different thoughts, he probably would've kissed you or at least said a few coherent sentences but all he could manage to blurt out was, "You love me?"

Something in you seemed to switch, your words stuttering and your eyes widening with shock as you realized exactly what you just said to Tom.

"Shit. I-I'm so drunk," you turned over, your back now facing him, "I, um, I'm tired. I need to go to sleep."

"Y/n-"

"No, Tom, it's okay. Please just Forget I said anything."

He laid there in complete silence, his eyes glued to your back as he contemplated what he should do, if he should say anything or do as you said and put tonight behind him.

'Don't be an idiot, tell her.'

"Y/n?"

You didn't say anything for a moment too long, making Tom's stomach clench. What if you were asleep and he missed his chance completely?

"Yeah, Tommy?" You said so quietly Tom could barely hear you.

"I love you too."

He felt like he was going to be sick as he waited for you to say something or just do anything to let him know you hadn't suddenly changed your mind.

Tom was starting to wonder if you heard him or maybe you just didn't care when you reached behind your back and grabbed his arm, pulling it towards you. You laced your fingers through his as you brought his hand to your lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

He let out a breath of relief he hadn't realized he'd been holding before hesitantly scooting closer to you, closing up the little space between you.

Once again Tom found himself in a position he'd been a million times, wrapped up in you, but the air had changed and it was almost like it was the first time.

In the back of his mind he knew there was a chance you were only saying this because of the alcohol in your system, but he pushed the thought away, and nuzzled his face into your hair before closing his eyes, hoping you'd still mean what you said when the sun came up.

Tagging: @fangirlwithasweettooth @bravest-at-heart @hollandsamor @constellatinq @aidiastyles @ravenclawmarvel @cosmicholland @sleepyhollands @devildisguiseasangel @fairytaleparker @hollandsosterfield @now-imagine @officiallyunofficialperson @stealth-spiderr @xxxxdelenaxxxx @its-the-aerieljeane @petersstarcadet @babebenhardy @antoouu @lovinnholland @kxrtwxgner @sleepybesson @awkwardfangirl2014 @brookeelee98 @nedthegay @petersmparker @parkeroffline @snjms02 @the-queen-procrastinator @tomhollandsumbrella @spideyosterfield @thollandx @styles-balor4eva @80sthottie @marvelobsessedteenager @marshyrebelcloud @sixwyrxstuff @itscaminow @tomshufflepuff @jillanaholland @howdyherron @undiadeestos @quaksonhehe @theslytherinwarrior @itstaskeen

[dvp95]

can’t breathe when you touch my sleeve - chapter 13 (now complete)

pairing: dan howell/phil lester

rating: e

warnings: none

tags: alternate universe, slow burn, fluff & humour, tiny bit of inner turmoil wrt sexuality but trust me it’s not that deep, deeper than anticipated but still not that deep y'all this is primarily silly, eventual smut, idiots in love

word count: 6,375 for this chapter (59,473 total) (damn, i was really hoping to hit 60k)

summary: Dan keeps making a fool of himself in interviews, to the point where it’s basically a meme. Now he’s got to sit down for the better part of an hour and sell his show to the YouTuber he’d had a massive crush on when he was a teenager.

read from the beginning on ao3 or on tumblr!

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

"Do you need to do some laundry before bed?" Phil asks, stirring vegetables with the kind of dubious intensity that Dan recognises from setting one too many meals on fire himself. "Or is all your stuff dry-clean only?"

"Very funny," says Dan. He's keeping an eye on the rice, but it requires much less effort. "Yeah, I could do a load tomorrow."

Phil looks up from his skillet for the first time since he turned the heat on. "Tomorrow? Dan, you leave tomorrow."

"Not til like two," Dan says with a little shrug.

The way Phil is looking at him makes him laugh. He's never seen the man's eyes so wide and anxious, so like a deer in headlights. Dan gently nudges him away from the hob by the hip and takes over vegetable watch.

"Dan," Phil says again, "that's not very much time. You don't want to pack tonight?"

"It sounds like you probably want me to pack tonight, Phil," says Dan. "I'm good at throwing things together last minute, though. I'm not worried about being late."

"I'm worried about you being late," says Phil. "Wouldn't it be easier to pack tonight and just hang out tomorrow?"

Dan smirks and tosses the rice in with the vegetables and sauce, just to get it all stirred together. One of Phil's hands is settled on the small of his back as he needles Dan about this, and it all feels so disgustingly domestic that Dan almost can't handle it.

"Uh huh," he says, trying not to let the fondness seep too much into his tone. "So, what you're saying is, you want me to do my laundry tonight so you can keep me in bed all morning?"

"Yes, but also, I've got time anxiety," Phil chuckles. He presses a kiss to the back of Dan's neck, which makes him shiver.

"You've got anxiety about the concept of time? Honestly, same."

"Stupid," says Phil. He isn't trying to hide the fondness the way Dan is, the affection coming off him in waves as he presses himself into Dan's side, drops a kiss to Dan's shoulder. "That too, I suppose, but I mean about being late. I always have my stuff packed like, two days in advance."

"Absolutely cannot relate," Dan says, biting his lip to try and hide a smile. "But yeah. I can do a load so you're not anxious about my unpacked suitcase all night."

That's not something he would normally offer, because Dan is almost never actually late and he's just fine with his current method of timekeeping, thanks, but he'd rather keep Phil in the best possible mood. And, okay, maybe it does sound kind of nice to just have a lie-in without running around to try and grab all the things he's somehow strewn across the flat in these short days.

It's strange, actually. Dan has spent a lot of his adult life on other people's couches and in hotel rooms, and he's good at keeping his stuff compartmentalized because of that. Something about how comfortable he feels here has him treating it like it's his own home. He's absolutely certain that Phil doesn't mind, if he even notices - it's not exactly obvious that Dan's chargers and straighteners and toothbrush haven't found their way back to his bags when Phil's junk is strewn across every possible surface.

Dan bumps his hip into Phil's and turns off the hob. "You ready to eat?"

"Literally always," says Phil. His hand leaves Dan's back, and Dan feels a bit bereft for it.

Still, he supposes, joining Phil on the sofa to watch some MasterChef while Thor acts like he isn't quietly begging for scraps isn't the worst way to spend an evening. In fact, if that's the only way Dan wants to spend all his dinners from here on out, nobody has to know.

--

Dan takes a shower while Phil goes on a walk with the dog, and he spends more time zoning out than he does actually washing himself. His phone is blaring a playlist he doesn't even remember making, and while it has some real bangers on it, he keeps getting distracted trying to track down the memory of it in his brain. Then, of course, his mind just drifts from there.

He thinks about his family, about the emails he still hasn't checked, about Adrian spouting bullshit profoundness down a phone line. He thinks about Heatwave, and his role in the whole mess of it, and what Amy will say when he tells her that he doesn't want to be a part of it going forward. He thinks about London, about the way the city has felt like an eventuality before but not quite like this, about how Phil is really what makes it feel like a place Dan can settle down and build a life for himself.

Most of all, Dan thinks about how much it is going to suck to be away from Phil for however long they have to be.

Long distance relationships aren't exactly Dan's forte. Which, okay, to be fair, relationships generally are not exactly Dan's forte, but he understands how this part works. He understands sex and cuddling and kissing, even if it all feels like the dial has been turned up to eleven with Phil, but he's not a hundred percent sure how to keep this sort of energy when they're an entire ocean apart. Dan is kind of a jealous person with a yo-yo of self esteem, and Phil is a very handsome and charming man who surely has far better prospects than talking to Dan on Skype until he falls asleep.

And that thought process isn't one Dan really needs to go down, is it.

He decides to try and trace back an inside joke to its inception while he washes his hair, because surely that's a better use of his time than heading down a rabbit hole of insecurity. He's still pondering that when there's a knock at the bathroom door and it opens.

"Hey, Dan?" Phil's voice comes, just loud enough to be heard over the shower and the music. Dan's eyes are closed so he doesn't get any fucking shampoo in them, and he has no idea if Phil is looking at him through the glass screen or not. He makes a noise to indicate he's heard Phil and tilts his head forward to start rinsing his hair. "You want me to throw your clothes in for you now? I can leave you something of mine to wear."

"I'd take something of yours anyway," Dan says, dry. He keeps his eyes closed. If he doesn't look, then he can live in a world where his boyfriend is checking him out just for the hell of it. Dan doesn't mind being watched by the right eyes.

"Of course you would. Anything that can't go in the wash?"

Dan grins and shrugs, even though Phil might not be looking at him. "I mean, read the fucking labels, mate. But yeah, none of my dress shirts."

"Got it." There's a beat of relative silence for so long that Dan starts to wonder if Phil has managed to leave the room without making noise - not Phil's strong suit at the best of times - but then he speaks again, low and amused. "If I were a murderer, Dan, you'd be so dead right now. Why are you facing the tap, you absolute freak?"

Water goes up Dan's nose when he laughs, and he's sure the sound of him cough-laughing isn't exactly attractive. He turns around and cracks an eye open to check if Phil is laughing at him or not.

Phil is resting against the bathroom counter with his arms crossed and a smirk playing around his pretty lips. If Dan were not acutely aware of the injuries it would cause, he'd whinge until Phil joined him under the spray.

"I'm just having a face the tap kind of day," he informs Phil, making sure his hair is completely devoid of any shampoo that might sneak-attack his eyes and make him look even more hilariously incompetent than he already does. "You just gonna stand there and look at me?"

"Tempting," says Phil. He leans over and picks up the pile of clothes that Dan had discarded beside the bath mat. "But one of us needs to get this done."

"Oi, I said I'd do it."

The grin Phil sends his way makes Dan's knees feel a bit wobbly, like he's a teenager all over again. "I know. I didn't believe you."

Honestly, that's fair. Dan is better at putting things off than he is getting off his ass to do it right away. He pretends to be offended, anyway, because it's more fun than conceding defeat. "Excuse me? I'm a man of my word, Philip."

"I believe you'd do it eventually," says Phil. "But if I do it now, then you can be naked in my bed once you're done wasting all my hot water. See? I think ahead."

"Go away," Dan laughs.

"I'm doing a nice thing!" Phil protests, but he's laughing too. He lets his gaze drift over Dan's body again, unapologetic about checking him out in a way that makes Dan's heart beat a bit faster, and then he's gone. The door closes behind him, and Dan covers his face with both hands to hide his blush from the empty bathroom and Frank Ocean's crooning.

God, he's so far gone for this guy. It's genuinely fucking ridiculous.

He doesn't spend too much more time in the shower, because his boyfriend is waiting for him. And, fuck, that still feels so goddamn weird to think. Boyfriend. Dan has a boyfriend. It's actually surreal.

Dan dries himself off and wraps the towel around his hips, because Phil hasn't come back to give him pyjamas. He turns off his mystery playlist and pushes wet curls off his forehead before he leaves the fogged-up bathroom.

"He emerges," Phil jokes, barely looking up from his phone. "Clothes are in the dresser if you want to put them on."

"If I want to?" Dan repeats with a big grin. He likes looking at Phil's long legs spread over his colourful bedsheets, glasses perched on his nose and his hair sticking up a bit at the back. He looks comfortable and soft, and Dan truly considers throwing on something soft and curling up for another nap. Or sleep, at this point, if Phil lets him sleep through the night. But he's leaving so soon, he wants more than that. "Yeah. I don't really want to."

The way Phil's lips twitch make Dan feel certain that Phil didn't really want him to, either. He puts his phone aside and raises his eyebrows at Dan. "C'mere, then."

As tempting as it is to just collapse into Phil's lap right away, Dan is getting the hang of this 'sharing a small space with a dog' thing. He has to use treats and toys to lure Thor out of the room this time, gamely ignoring Phil's snickers at his attempts. Thor is so dubious at this point, not particularly enjoying being put away, but he eventually does follow Dan into the bathroom and curl up with his rope and a reproachful look at Dan. It's very distracting, but Dan manages to remember to grab a couple of condoms. The lube is still on one of the nightstands, on the side Dan has been trying pretty hard not to think of as his own.

"You know," Dan says as he hangs his towel on a hook, closes the bathroom door behind him. "When I get a place in London, it's going to have more than two rooms. So even if you do bring Thor over, we can shut a door without him getting mad at me."

"I think he'd get mad anyway," says Phil. He sounds distracted, looking Dan over again, and Dan preens a bit under the attention.

It's not that Dan doesn't know what he looks like. He's not going to win any awards for his face or body or whatever, but he's not exactly a bridge troll. He's seen himself on screen and heard enough people talk about him in complimentary ways that he knows, more or less, the way people tend to react when they look at him, but.

Just like everything else, it feels like so much more with Phil. Normally, Dan feels anywhere from gratified to indifferent by people finding him attractive, but when Phil looks at him like that, he just feels... wanted. In a really, really good way.

"Probably," Dan says, putting a hand on his hip. His pulse jumps at the way Phil's eyes track the movement, how they linger on Dan's dick. So what if he's getting a bit hard just from being looked at? Dan doesn't mind being watched by the right eyes, and Phil's are definitely the right eyes. He can't find it in himself to be embarrassed about it, not when Phil doesn't seem to find it funny in the slightest.

"Come here," Phil says again, more firmly.

Dan does as he's told, straddling Phil's thighs and grinning at him. He takes Phil's glasses off his face, puts them and the condoms on the nightstand for safekeeping. Phil blinks a bunch and grins back at him.

"You're wearing a lot of clothes," Dan notes, toying with the collar of Phil's shirt. He hasn't changed all day, and as much as Dan likes looking at him in this tacky print, he'd much prefer to see the pale skin and downy hair and shock of metal beneath it. "That's gonna be a problem."

"Oh, is it?" Phil teases, running his cool hands over Dan's thighs, his flank, his ass. It's like he can't decide where to settle them, not that Dan is complaining about the exploration.

"Yeah, but don't worry, I can fix it." Dan flicks the buttons of Phil's shirt open, pressing his lips to Phil's collarbone as soon as the bright fabric is out of the way. He feels Phil exhale as one of his hands tangles loosely in Dan's hair.

The texture of Phil's jeans feels weird against Dan's bare inner thighs. He leans forward a bit so less of his skin is touching denim before doing something he hasn't done since he was a literal teenager. He bites down rather gently on Phil's pale collarbone and soothes it with his tongue, giving Phil plenty of opportunity to protest before he goes in properly to leave a mark.

Dan finishes unbuttoning Phil's shirt while he sucks and nips at Phil's clavicle, and he lets his large hands map out the rest of Phil's torso while he darkens the bruise to his satisfaction.

Little sighs keep escaping Phil's lips as he runs his fingers through Dan's damp hair, and Dan is sure that he would have been tugged away by now if this wasn't good for Phil, too. Dan brushes his fingertips over Phil's ribs and bites down harder, just to see where the line is.

Phil's breath hitches. Otherwise, he doesn't really react.

"You're like a vampire," he comments, his voice low and dry and very, very attractive to Dan. "Do you bite all the boys?"

"Nah," Dan murmurs, nosing at the small, blossoming bruises. He likes the way they look, hopes that Phil will send him photos later with them on display. "Just you. Want you to think about me while I'm gone."

"Trust me," says Phil. "That was never going to be a problem. D'you like getting them, too, or do you just like giving them?"

What a perfect set up to a shitty joke. Dan's favourite. He grins wide and winks up at Phil, tweaking Phil's nipple ring as he does. "Oh, I'm versatile."

Even with his shirt pushed open, his cheeks pinked, his eyes dark and intense despite not being able to see much of anything, Phil manages to roll his eyes. "Yeah, alright. D'you want a hickey or not?"

"Yes, please," Dan says cheerfully. "Nowhere I might accidentally flash to a camera."

Phil hums and looks Dan over, thoughtful. Dan feels his dick twitch at the attention and resists the ridiculous urge to cover himself.

"Okay," says Phil, patting Dan's thighs decisively. "Lie down."

"Sounds good to me, my dude," says Dan. He laughs as he rolls off of Phil and onto his back, suddenly remembering something he'd said to Phil on what he now knows was their first date. "Never sit when you can lie down, am I right?"

"You are right," Phil says dryly. He shrugs off his shirt and lets it fall to the floor. "You are also very annoying."

"Is this because I dude-zoned you?"

Phil's lips twitch, and he smacks at the general direction of Dan's thigh. He misses, hits the mattress instead, and Dan can't hold back a snort. Phil's depth perception is shot without his glasses, and Dan is so endeared by his confused blinking.

"Where are you?" Phil murmurs, mostly to himself, and stretches his hand out to connect with Dan's hip. "Aha. There you are. Got you."

"I literally was not moving." This time, the slap does connect with Dan's thigh. He doesn't really mind, but he makes a big show of sulking about it anyway. "Ow, rude."

"As if that hurt," Phil says dismissively. He trails his hand over Dan's hip and lower stomach before he moves to settle between Dan's legs, as if he's using his palm to map out where he needs to be.

Okay, yeah, Dan can work with this. He wiggles to get more comfortable and arches a bit into Phil's touch.

This always makes Dan feel so vulnerable. He knows that Phil can't see him clearly, but that doesn't seem to matter to that sense of shame that Dan still hasn't managed to eradicate. Phil presses his lips to Dan's thigh and Dan spreads his legs wider in response, blushing furiously and thanking his lucky stars that Phil probably won't notice it.

Dan knows what he wants, and normally he'd have no trouble asking for it, but he's nervous. It's hard to focus completely on the wet suction of Phil's mouth on his inner thigh when all Dan can think about is how terrifying this is to him. He can't figure out the source of the anxiety at first, mind drifting down various paths the way it had in the shower, but he's jolted back into the present when the sharp edge of Phil's teeth press against his skin.

Suddenly, it's obvious. Of course this is nerve-wracking. Everything that he's felt with Phil has been more intense than anything he's felt before, from such simple things as holding hands to the feeling of Phil's cock in his mouth, and Dan already knows how much he likes being fucked. He's nervous about, like, blacking out or doing something else stupidly embarrassing like that.

Phil pulls back to look at the mark he's left on Dan's inner thigh as best as he can without perfect vision, and Dan tries his best to ignore whatever notions of shame and fear still try to make him feel like less for enjoying something like this.

"Hey," he says, reaching for the bottle of lube before he can lose his nerve. "While you're down there, might as well make yourself useful."

It takes a bit of squinting, but Phil snorts a laugh when he figures out what Dan is holding out to him. "I thought I was already being useful," Phil says, "but sure, whatever you say."

"Don't act like it's a hardship," Dan huffs. He shifts down a bit, getting his hips in a more comfortable position. He can see a red flush all over his chest, and he bets his face looks even worse. He needs to keep fighting back that embarrassment, that shame. That fear of it being so good he won't know how to act. He doesn't want to tell Phil everything, but he wants to somewhat explain himself in case Phil can tell he's acting weird. "Though, like, guess you should know that it's been a while."

"How long we talking?" Phil hums as he brushes his thumb over Dan's dick, teasing.

"Uh," says Dan. "Like, uni."

That makes Phil sit up a bit and furrow his brow in the general direction of Dan's face. "Dan, that's almost -"

"I know," Dan groans, covering his red face with both hands. "I know it's been almost ten fucking years, Phil, but I'm not going to fucking - break, or freak out, or whatever. I do fuck myself, okay, it's just been since uni that another person's done it for me."

"Okay," Phil says, his voice soft and soothing. He squeezes Dan's thighs and leans in to press a chaste kiss to the pudge of Dan's tummy.

"Okay?" Dan repeats, his heart beating way too fast to match Phil's serenity.

"Yeah, okay," says Phil. He smiles. "You say you're okay, I believe you. Just keep talking to me, okay? And you can change your mind whenever."

Dan swallows around a sudden lump in his throat. Fuck, he shouldn't be getting so emotional just because someone about to fuck him is treating him gently, but he might have more issues around this than he'd thought he did. He reaches down to tangle his fingers with Phil's, squeezing both of his hands.

"Oh, so now you want me to talk?" he teases.

His voice doesn't come out nearly as conversational as he wants it to, but Phil is kind enough not to draw attention to it. Instead, he just asks, "You want me to suck you off? Give you something else to focus on?"

"Are you that coordinated?" Dan asks, trying his best to get the light atmosphere back. He can't deal with the weight of emotion right this second, not when he's leaving so fucking soon. He's got enough emotions to deal with about that, he doesn't need to add more onto his plate. He isn't exactly 'good' with 'emotion'.

Thankfully, Phil laughs. He pinches Dan's thigh, close to where he'd left a bruise but not quite on it. "Hey, fuck you."

"That's what I'm saying," Dan laughs too, wiggling his hips. "Fuck me."

Phil still isn't looking directly at Dan's face, but his reassuring little grin still hits Dan as hard as it would have if they were staring into each other's eyes. He settles back down between Dan's spread legs and taps at Dan's thigh.

"Lift," he instructs, and Dan knows he's blushing even deeper as he hooks a leg over Phil's bare shoulder, making things a bit easier on both of them. God, but the vulnerability is so much worse like this. Dan likes being looked at by the right eyes, but the feeling of being on display like this makes him squirmy somewhere in his gut. Phil hums against Dan's thigh, presses soft kisses over it until the muscle relaxes. "Be easier if you put the condom on for me, yeah?"

All too happy to have something to focus on that isn't the feeling of Phil's fingers brushing over his balls, Dan does as he's told.

It's easier like this, it really is. Phil is working by touch more than sight, and that becomes doubly true when Dan's dick is in his mouth and he's got his pretty, unfocused eyes closed. Dan fights back the panic threatening to overtake him, because this is just Phil.

It's just Phil. And more than anyone else he's ever met, Dan thinks that he probably trusts this man the most. He tangles his fingers in Phil's soft bedding, breathing deeply and doing his best to relax when Phil goes ahead and rubs his fingers over Dan, presses a tiny bit inside him, makes a questioning sort of noise around Dan's cock.

"Yeah," Dan breathes, letting his own eyes fall closed so he can just think about how good this feels. "It's good, you can keep going."

And it is. It's really, really good. Dan already knows he likes this, knows that a finger inside him while a hot mouth is wrapped around his cock is one of the better things for him in bed, but Phil sure does turn this up to eleven, too.

Phil isn't even trying to get him off right now, is the thing. He's sucking Dan lazily, keeping his cock warm more than actually blowing him, and his finger - fingers, after a minute, and that slight stretch makes Dan bite back a truly mortifying noise - aren't seeking out Dan's prostate, but none of that makes this any less good for Dan.

He doesn't treat Dan like he's made of glass, and Dan appreciates that almost as much as he appreciates the steady thrum of pleasure coursing through him as Phil gets him ready. He had been a bit wary that admitting the length of time would make Phil gentle and nervous, as if Dan were a bloody virgin or something, but he should really stop projecting so many of his own anxieties on a man who is clearly more well-adjusted than Dan.

The only thing Phil does is slow down when Dan has been quiet for too long, make some prompting noises, pull off him to remind Dan to breathe with him. It's considerate in a way that doesn't make Dan feel embarrassed and smothered, and Dan could fucking kiss him for that. In fact, he will, as soon as Phil comes back into kissing distance. Dan could never articulate any of this to Phil, of course, but he can kiss him until he gets the general idea.

Dan babbles. Of course he does, he's been given explicit permission to do so. It's all a jumble of affirmations and curses, not exactly sensical, but he doesn't think Phil expects him to be talking in proper sentences right this second.

Eventually, though, Dan groans and reaches for Phil's hair, pulling him off. "Okay, okay, fuck. I'm good, need you now."

He opens his eyes and has to swallow another noise at how good Phil looks right now, all reddened mouth and darkened eyes. He surely can't see the way Dan is gawping at him, but the way he smirks makes Dan think that maybe he can sense it. "What exactly do you need?" Phil asks, playing dumb. Dan would kick him if he was physically able to.

"I'm going to kick you," Dan informs him.

"Wow, abuse of the boyfriend," says Phil. He nips at Dan's stomach and sits up with a little roll of his neck, stretching it. "I'm just asking for some clarity, Daniel, you already have me."

"You're terrible," says Dan. "This is terrible. If you don't have your dick inside me in the next ten seconds, you're sleeping on the sofa."

Phil's fake-innocent mask breaks as he giggles, tongue poking out from between his teeth. "This is my bed!" he protests.

Honestly, Dan doesn't care whose bed it is. This is a ridiculous argument to be having when Phil's got three of his fingers in Dan's ass.

"Ten," Dan threatens like he would with a small child, and Phil laughs even harder at him. Dan can feel giggles threatening to bubble up from his own chest, and he tries to hold back a very unsexy snort. "Shut up, oh my god, you're the absolute worst."

"I'm not the one whining about not getting my way," Phil points out.

"Hi, have we met? I'm Dan."

Phil rolls his eyes to the ceiling and shakes his head. The loss of his fingers makes Dan whine involuntarily, and he whines even louder when Phil stands up.

Thankfully, Phil only stays off the bed long enough to shuck his jeans and pants off. Dan reaches for him, wraps a hand around Phil's cock and revels in the soft, surprised 'oh' of a noise that falls from Phil's lips. He's hard and heavy and Dan has to know if that Prince Albert will do anything for him when Phil is inside him. He gives Phil a couple strokes and tears open another condom. Maybe if Dan were a less lazy person, he'd take his own off now that it isn't needed, but - hey, it's already there, clean-up's going to be a lot easier. Whatever.

He doesn't think he can stay on his back. He isn't entirely convinced that he won't get teary if this feels at all like this 'making love' thing people keep talking about, first of all, but Dan also has far more practical excuses for rolling onto his front. His thighs are starting to cramp up, and the other people who live in this building would surely appreciate Dan's loud mouth being pressed into a pillow. Dan has so many things he could say to Phil if he asks about the change of position, but Phil doesn't ask.

A cool palm runs over Dan's lower back and rests on his hip, squeezing. Dan sighs and buries his nose further into the pillowcase. It smells like Phil's fruity shampoo, and that's comforting. This isn't as scary now that Dan remembers exactly how at ease Phil puts him, has been able to since they met.

Phil working mostly by touch gives Dan enough warning that he doesn't quite gasp when he feels the head of Phil's cock pressing against him, but he does groan into Phil's pillow.

He definitely forgot to warn Phil about his volume control issues. It would be fairly redundant to do it now, Dan thinks, because the barely-muffled sound he makes when Phil starts to sink into him is already the loudest one he's made in Phil's presence.

Phil pauses, squeezing Dan's hip again. "Hey. Good or bad?"

Dan turns his face just enough to laugh breathlessly, stretching his arms out to hold onto the pillow. "Uh, fucking incredible."

"Yeah," Phil agrees, voice so low that Dan can practically feel it vibrating down his spine. He rolls his hips carefully and makes a choked-off laugh of a noise when Dan outright moans, only able to hide the tail end of it in the pillow. "Christ. You weren't kidding, yeah? You really like this?"

Eyes closed, practically suffocating himself, Dan does his best to nod.

He does. He really likes this.

The thing is, he still isn't really sure that he's able to vocalize that, at least not right this second. Dan rocks his hips back instead of trying to articulate some kind of response, heat sparking through him at the motion. God, but it really has been a long time since Dan has gotten fucked. Phil lets his hips snap forward to meet Dan's little thrusts, and, yeah. Fuck.

Dan was right. This feels so much better than any other cock he's ever had, and it isn't because the ball of Phil's piercing keeps nudging against Dan's prostate just right or because he's thick enough to stretch Dan just the way he likes - or, okay, it isn't solely because of those things. They do help.

It's just because this is Phil rocking into him, pressing kisses over his shoulders, making little breathy noises whenever Dan clenches around him.

Honestly, Dan had no idea that liking someone so much and trusting them with his body would make sex this much better. Sure, yeah, it makes logical sense or whatever, but it isn't something he could have ever guessed he'd get to experience.

He’s still overthinking when a particularly hard thrust has him rushing to the edge faster than he has in a long time, making his entire mind short-circuit.

"Oh," he moans, curling his hands into fists in Phil’s pillow and nodding into the fabric. "Oh, fuck, s-sorry, close -"

Phil's laugh turns into a groan, and Dan thinks that's the hottest thing he's ever heard. "The fuck are you sorry for, Dan?" He slides one of his hands around to play with Dan's cock, tight enough that Dan doesn't even fucking care about the latex barrier keeping him from the texture of Phil's palm. Phil presses more of his weight onto Dan, kisses the side of his neck, murmurs directly into his ear. "I want you to come."

Yeah. Okay. Dan might be a bit suggestible. He bites down on Phil’s pillow as his orgasm hits, embarrassingly quickly. Maybe he does black out for a second, because he feels heat through his entire body one moment and absolutely boneless the next.

Phil is still kissing over his feverish skin when Dan comes back to himself, and the feeling of him grinding slow into Dan is hovering right on the knife edge of too-much.

"Fuck," Dan gasps, turning his head so he can breathe again. His tongue feels heavy in his mouth and he isn't sure that his arms will ever not be jelly again. He feels Phil stop moving, probably planning to pull out, and he whines a bit. "No, s'okay. You can finish, baby."

If Dan were more present, he might care that he's called someone baby unironically. As it is, he just wiggles back into Phil and revels in the moan he gets in response.

"You sure?" Phil checks, voice trembling the tiniest bit. It's like he's holding himself back. He doesn't have to do that, not with Dan.

"Very sure," says Dan. He closes his eyes, lets the too-much turn back into a low level thrum of pleasure. He's not nineteen anymore, he definitely can't go again tonight, but it still feels good to be making Phil feel good. He hums and reaches a hand back to hold onto Phil's, both of them pressed against Dan's hip. He feels loose-limbed, happy, and he doesn't second guess himself at all when he adds, "I like the way it feels. You can keep going."

"God," Phil breathes. He gives Dan a couple of slow, careful thrusts, testing the waters, but when Dan only makes a contented noise in response, Phil starts really fucking him again.

Dan holds tight to Phil's hand and lets Phil use him for his own end, murmuring absolute nonsense to help him along. Just, "Yeah, that's it, doesn't it feel good, you feel good", that sort of thing.

Still, Phil does get there before Dan stops enjoying the oversensitive feeling. His rhythm falters a couple of times and his blunt nails dig into Dan's skin, hopefully leaving more physical reminders of the best sex Dan's ever had, before he's groaning something that sounds like Dan's name and coming. Dan whimpers at the feeling of Phil losing control inside him.

They're both panting and sweaty and have gross condoms to dispose of, but when Phil pulls out of him and pulls him into a cuddle, Dan feels more at peace than he thinks he ever has in his goddamn life.

"I don't want to leave," Dan whispers into the quiet, because he isn't sure if he's told Phil as much.

"I don't want you to leave," Phil says, pressing a kiss to Dan's damp curls. His arms feel so steady around Dan, not at all jelly like Dan's are. "But you'll be back when you can, right? And I go to Florida every year with my family, I can totally road trip to you."

With any luck, that won't be necessary. Dan is too fucked-out and sleepy to turn this into a Conversation, though, so he just makes an affirmative sort of noise and nuzzles into Phil's chest.

They can clean up in a minute.

--

"Sorry, sorry, I know I was almost late, but I promise I have a good reason for it -"

"You can't be almost late," Phil says, rather patiently for the time of morning it is in London. He looks tired, glasses on and hair an absolute mess, but he'd woken up just because Dan had asked him to. Dan can see Thor's nose, resting on Phil's thigh, and everything inside him wants to crawl through the screen to join them both.

Dan settles in the hotel bed with his phone, grinning at how cute they both look even through shitty FaceTime quality. "Still, I'm sorry. I know it's early."

"Yeah," Phil says, unable to stop himself from yawning. He gives Dan a sheepish little smile. "But I wanted to see you. How's L.A. going? Has anyone tried to lick you yet?"

"For the last time, you're the only person who has multiple stories of strangers trying to lick you," says Dan. He winks. "Not that I blame them."

The grin Phil gives him makes his stomach swoop. Dan wonders if it's ever going to stop doing that.

"Shut up," Phil says, fond. He shifts around on his sofa, getting comfortable, and Thor gives him a disappointed sort of look for the temporary displacement. "Sorry, buddy. But I'm serious, Dan, what's up? You've been stupidly vague."

"Yeah, I guess I have," says Dan. He lifts a shoulder in a lazy sort of shrug and puts his hand in front of his mouth to try and hide the ridiculously happy grin on his face. "I've been talking to producers all day, and it's been a fucking nightmare. Just got back to the hotel, I really did think I'd be back earlier than this and I could try to be early for once, but."

Phil blinks at him. "I thought you were on vacation."

"Don't you think I'd go to your place if I were on vacation?" Dan laughs. "No, I - I didn't want to get your hopes up. But like, here's the thing. I've got news."

Even Thor seems to perk up. Dan grins at his screen, wishes he could watch Phil's eyes go from their carefully guarded neutrality into something that's softer, more hopeful. Just for Dan.

"You've got news," Phil repeats. He bites his lip. "What kind of news?"

Dan had this whole plan to drag it out, make it all dramatic, but now that he's faced with the cautious optimism in Phil's face, he can't bring himself to do it. He laughs, rolls onto his side to get more comfortable. "Well, you can tell your mum I'm coming round for Christmas, for one."

[thattimdrakeguy]

I used to like Stephanie Brown very much but honestly lately her fandom ruined the character for me. They want EVERYTHING to be about her, even when we are talking about a mlm ship they are like "pls don't erase Steph" and I am like??? And literally saying character flaws are not hating on a character, or most people just hating on her because seriously she is so different in comics and fandom, they need to chill the fuck out and not say everyone is misogynistic just because they don't like her

+ and everytime someone says "Cissie and Steph are best friends" just because the new cover of YJ... y'all forgetting Bart and Cassie were Cissie's best friends!!! Sorry I just hate when people force her into everything and then blame timkon fans for being misogynistic just because people don't want her to be on the team because she has no good relationships with the team, that's not misogyny everyone!!! I hate this fandom sometimes

I just want to ask why TimSteph stans are hating on Tim but still shipping him with their fav character? Literally every single TimSteph stan on their tag are posting anti Tim Drake posts, and talking shit about him, but when someone says something bad about Stephanie they are getting mad and acting like everyone is hating women because of other ships??? Can someone pls explain this to me I really want to know the reason

That’s the part of the fandom that I see sometimes and really brings my mood down a lot of the time, because they’re so caught up in their own world sometimes that it drives me nuts.

Before I disliked Damian because his writing is just freaking awful, I began to not like him just from the connotation of his fandom being so obsessed trying to make him something he’s not based off of just a few moments that aren’t even in-character.

With the toxic part of Steph’s fanbase they’re just so obsessed with trying to make her seem like more of this astonishing character. Not to even say she’s a bad character. I still think she’s a good character, but it’s just the limit the obsessive part of her fandom goes to, just to convince people she’s so great. Sometimes they just exaggerate stuff or just lie so much because they seem to be under the belief that if she’s not incredible as a person that she’s unlikable, but then, why do they like her.

I think that part of her fandom comes from people projecting on her so much that they begin to become defensive of everything she does to the point it feels obsessive.

“OH SHE HAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP WITH BRUCE BECAUSE *says a very simple thing that they say in way too many words that give the complete wrong connotation of the actual events to make Stephanie seem more impressive*”

“SHE HAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP WITH DAMIAN THAT NEEDS TO BE ADMIRED MORE BECAUSE completely ignores how Damian was a total pervert and a body shamer to ridicule her. Which isn’t a relationship to admire at all. Along with people constantly taking out of context some of the things she did with him, and how it was another case of a writer ignoring Damian’s problem to woobify him. Which makes the issue poorly written. But we must exaggerate it to make Steph seem like a saint apparently.”

This type of fandom stuff bugs me no matter the character.

I remember not that long ago I kept seeing posts that were exaggerating Tim so much, and it bugged the ever-living crap out of me.

Because sorry, but, I don’t care what Red Robin says. Tim could not beat up all those assassins.

I don’t even honestly believe Tim’s a master tactitian. He’s just smart and clever, he isn’t this war general figure.

I don’t care that a comic says that Tim could trick Bruce with a fake Uncle.

Given the way he was built up as a character, that stuff just doesn’t work. That wasn’t anything that was actually developed for his character. It was something they tacked on in what I assume was attempts to make Tim “cool”, because DC doesn’t like relatable characters.

Which is a bit rich because Sideways, a character written by Didio himself, just feels like a knock-off Ultimate Spider-Man with the tone and character-style.

So I don’t want to give the impression that I think everyone in the Stephanie Brown fandom is an obsessive loon, or toxic as could be, because I don’t believe that to be the case. The toxic part of her fandom is just something that has arisen. Something that happens in all fandoms at one point or another. Now is just Stephanie’s go at it I guess. Even if it seems to be from just a few over vocal people, that people gave too much attention because I guess they liked having their fav be overly praised.

The people that say you’re misogynistic if you don’t ship TimSteph are just stupid honestly. At least about that.

If you ship TimKon, it makes no sense to include Steph in posts about it. Unless it’s like, just mentioning how Tim used to date her. Which I don’t feel is a big enough reason to act like people are misogynistic, because, even if say I shipped Tim with another girl. Id be awkward to talk about Steph. We don’t need to shove Steph into everything.

I don’t say the word stupid like I think they’re stupid at everything.

I call myself stupid when it comes to a lot of stuff for an example, but the argument that you’re misogynistic if you think of Tim as gay is stupid, because there’s enough of Tim for so long were it’s easy to interrupt him as gay, and it’s not misogynistic.

You don’t hate women if you’re gay, or anything like that.

That’s homophobic.

If you still think Tim is straight, congrats, I’m not upset. I’m not upset people ship TimSteph. One of my best friends ships TimSteph and she’s writing a wonderful fic.

I’m not even against TimSteph at all.

Just that stupid part of that fandom.

Like Stephanie Brown has flaws right? She flirted with Tim when she knew he had a girlfriend, even kissing him. Reckless as could be. Took things the wrong way. Made Tim straight up uncomfortable with her flirting sometimes. Had a problem with listening even when it was beneficial to her safety. She also had a trust problem when her and Tim’s relationship got into it.

Some of you are probably thinking “Well Tim has flaws too. She had her reasons.”

And you know what?

I agree.

Because that’s how freaking characters work.

Tim’s sheltered childhood made him insensitive to certain situations. He was immature to the point of detriment to his relationship with Ariana in some situations. Too naive to understand some things. Even too bossy because he’s a cruddy leader and didn’t know how to communicate enough for that job.

He’s not a perfect human.

Characters can have flaws, and it’s okay, because that’s how we get interesting stories and dynamics between stuff. Just because Tim has flaws, doesn’t mean he’s not a good person. He’s kind, caring, heroic, despite his immaturity. Just because Tim couldn’t handle the topic of cheating and became immature doesn’t mean he didn’t step up to the plate and try to help Ariana when she was close to being sexually assaulted and she was a bit mentally unstable (that might be strong wordage, but I use those words for myself when a situation hits. So it’s not me talking down about her situation) for a bit.

When you were raised in a mad house, it’s understandable she’d grow up to be reckless. She grew up so independent at a young age, because her parents certainly weren’t taking care of her. It’s also understandable that she has trust issues, because if you’re dating someone with a second life, you would worry that they’re cheating on you.

This is just how characters work

So these posts that wanna pretend she doesn’t have flaws, bugs me, because they want to deny her character sometimes.

Then acting like she’d just be best friends with everyone is freaking delusional. It’s the kind of stuff where it’s done in the vein of “peppy fangirl”, but it just becomes a bit obsessive. I think that’s stuff were my theory on some of those types of fans projecting on her for their own good come in.

I can get, being like “I wonder if these characters would get along”, but getting so hyper and exaggatory is just wack.

I think Tim and Jon would get along and could be good friends now that Jon’s older, but if they were in a comic together I’m not gonna get myself worked up and pretend things are were they clearly aren’t.

Even in the case of Cissie and Steph, I actually feel like they would be pretty good friends together. I can easily see that. But just cuz they’re on a cover together doesn’t mean they’re best friends

And if somehow Steph brought Cissie out to be Arrowette, that’d just be stupid. I don’t know how Steph would even know who Cissie is, because I don’t know if she even knows Arrowettes name is Cissie, let alone in this timeline. Plus Cissie last seen wasn’t a hero. So that’d just be some super cheap and forced writing.

But given the write circumstances, that actually work and make sense, I wouldn’t be against that. If they became friends, I’d be totally cool with it.

It’s that weird obsessive “THEY’RE BEST FRIENDS OH MY GOSH” that’s just a bit unnerving. Like settle down.

Write some fan fics, I really don’t care, but it gives me the vibes of those boyband fandoms that wanna act like their fav is dating some hot chick cuz he looked at her.

It’s less worse than that, cuz those are real people, but it’s that obsessive vibe that I get from it.

I don’t like it.

As for TimSteph shippers that hate Tim. I think it’s because it’s for a similar reason some people make all those posts overexaggerating or lying about so much stuff about Steph.

It’s to get her attention.

They know that Steph’s almost always only gonna show up because writers attach her with Tim almost exclusively, and that may be the only way she’ll show up. So I think they’re doing that, to get some kind of attention so Steph will show up at least with Tim, cuz something is better than nothing.

Although personally, I root for Steph finally hanging out with other characters, because seeing her relegated to just “Tim’s girlfriend” is very annoying, cuz even in the 90s she was more than that. She wasn’t created just to date Tim. She was created to be her own dang character.

[jq37]

The Gary Gygax Job (An Adventure in Two Parts)

I was asked to post my “Hardison forces the gang to play D&D fic” that I wrote for @alexromero​ so here it is. It’s actually just the set up and not the game itself because that would have been a whole undertaking but, anyway, I hope the anon who asked for it enjoys it.

Part One

BASE. Gyutou. Paris.

It's Parker's idea, surprisingly. Well, surprisingly to someone who knows Parker well but not very well. The team is breaking up, at least partially (though the kids have a secret pool running about how much wedded bliss Nate and Sophie can stand before they're ready to get back into the fight). She's not ready to lose two people from her very small inner circle.

"We should do, like, a girls' night," she suggests out of the blue, over the comms while crawling through air ducts (she has some of her best ideas in air ducts, which makes sense, statistically speaking).

"Girls' night?" says Hardison from the van. "You and what girls?"

"Me and Sophie. But also you and Nate and Eliot."

"Tha-that's just hanging out Parker. It's not a girl's night if there are guys."

She shrugs (tries to shrug. There's not enough space in the air duct). "Whatever. We should do it. I miss Sophie. And Nate," she adds, belatedly.

"Me too."

"Me three," Eliot finally cuts in. He's been providing an ambient background of grunts and things smashing into other things for the past minute or so, but that kind of thing is surprisingly easy to ignore after a while. "But can we do this AFTER THE CON???" They grudgingly decide to put a pin in it while Eliot runs his hand through his hair in annoyance. Honestly.

When they call the "Call us if you need us but please try very hard not to need us," number, they get Sophie, which is good. She'll be easier to convince and if they convince her, they've got Nate too. Parker explains her idea and Sophie is very into it: Group activity, once a month, full team.

Sophie's in so they're in business. Hardison puts all of their names into a randomizer and Parker ends up with first pick.

"Greece!" she says, immediately.

"Excellent choice, Parker!" says Sophie, picturing the food and beaches and museums. And then she remembers who she's speaking to.

"Parker, what are we doing in Greece?"

They find out two weeks later and Hardison thinks that it's a good thing he loves Parker to death, because he's pretty sure she's going to get him killed.

BASE Jumping on Zakynhos Island.

"Oh, come on!" Hardison whines as he's tossed a parachute. Sophie is also not thrilled, but she seems to think that encouraging Parker's social skills is worth 5-ish seconds of sheer terror.

The jump order is Eliot, Sophie, Nate (who is choosing to be amused by this whole thing), Hardison, then Parker. Hardison and Parker are the last two on the cliff.

"Come on you big baby," she says. "You've jumped off of buildings before."

"Not for fun."

She touches his chest very deliberately. "Then don't do it for fun. Do it for me."

He shakes his head and steels his nerves. "Sophie's rubbing off on you and I don't like it."

He is so happy to land in one piece that he immediately drops to his back and makes sand angels. From above, he can hear Parker's adrenaline-high scream. He opens his eyes, sees her parachute explode out, and then closes his eyes again. Maybe if he pretends to be asleep, she won't make him go again.

Somehow, Eliot's pick is worse.

He says they're going for a cooking lesson which sounds safe enough. The lesson is at a tiny sushi place in Brooklyn and the chef is some Japanese buddy of his. They're not allowed to know how they know each other specifically (Eliot says he's a "work friend") and they're not allowed to know his name, so they just call him Chef.

Everyone's having a good time and whatever work Chef did with Eliot before, cooking is obviously his calling.

And then…well, Hardison's not sure. It happens really quickly. The door bursts open and a man in dark clothes bursts in. There's a flash of silver from Chef's side of the room and the man drops. Hardison doesn't even have time to jump.

Chef isn't holding his knife anymore, Hardison notices. He looks across the room. It's implanted in the intruder's chest. A gun falls out of his hand and Nate kicks it away.

"What just happened?" says Hardison, trying to keep his voice level.

"It's a Gyutou," says Eliot. "Sharpest knife in the game."

"I'm not asking ab--why would you think I was asking about the knife?"

"Because the guy's Yakuza. Obviously."

"Wait, Yakuza? Like, Yakuza-Yakuza?"

"No, one of the many other Yakuzas out there. Yes, that Yakuza!" In the time it's taken them to have this conversation, Chef has dragged their attacker's limp body into a supply closet, found a clean knife, and gone back to chopping ginger.

Hardison has so many comments that he doesn't know where to start. He just throws up his hands and goes to stand in the corner for a minute. When he remembers that the corner he's in very recently had a dead body in it, he picks a new corner.

Sophie takes everyone for a weekend in Paris because of course she does.

Paris is great. No one tries to kill anyone in Paris. There's no jumping off of anything in Paris.

But…

But it's a little like being on a three-day date with your parents sometimes. And Hardison has been Team Nate and Sophie since day one basically. That doesn't mean he wants to know every museum in Paris they've done it in. Not that he's asking, for the record. But they'll walk in and give each other this kind of smug smirk and he can just tell. It's disgusting.

So, when Hardison's turn rolls around, he feels exactly zero guilt for choice.

"Dungeons and Dragons?" Eliot says with the kind of scorn he reserves for especially bad bad guys and Hardison.

"Oh, I don't wanna hear that tone from you, alright? I don't wanna hear it from any of y'all. Little miss adrenaline junkie over there," Parker blows him a kiss, "And your crazy Samurai friends," Eliot rolls his eyes, "And y'all two making googly eyes at each other for three solid days."

Nate takes a second from doing just that to say, "You're exaggerating."

"He's really not," says Parker.  

"BASE. Gyutou. Paris," Hardison rattles off again. "I did your thing now you're doing mine." He pulls a d20 out of his pocket and holds it between two fingers with a satisfied smirk. "Age of the geek, baby."

Part Two

Nate claims character creation is too complicated for him to understand which is a blatant lie because Hardison has seen him rig an election and manipulate the stock market on the fly and give a guy a nosebleed with his mind like he was freaking Professor X.

"This isn't my thing, Hardison," he says. "Just make a character for me. I don't care about the details. Do whatever you want."

Do whatever you want.

Famous last words.

Hardison makes him a dwarf barbarian character with an intelligence score so low he'll have trouble scratching himself.

Nate texts him a one-word response: No.

Well if you don't like my painstakingly created character you can make your own, Hardison texts back.

Just fix it.

Oh, he'll fix it alright. But first, he has to deal with Eliot.

He tries a different tactic with Eliot.

"Alright," he says when Eliot reluctantly drops in the chair across from him, looking like he's just been plunked into the heart of Gitmo. "You don't have to make a character. I premade one for you. Check it."

He fans out the materials he's printed out that show the character he created--premade for Eliot's approval. He's a human fighter, with a greatsword as his main weapon. He's proficient in several languages, weapons, tools--Hardison had to fudge the rules a little to give him so many skills at level one but it's nothing more ridiculous than what he can do in real life. He even had a sketch commissioned--he knows from experience that Eliot is a sucker for cool artwork of himself.

Eliot's eyes scan the sheets of paper and Hardison thinks he detects that trademark grudging approval he was going for.

"Did I do good or did I do good?"

Eliot looks up, scowls, and then something clearly goes off in his head because a slight smirk replaces the scowl. Hardison doesn't trust it but he doesn't react either.

"OK," says Eliot. "I'll play your character. One change though."

Just one? He can handle that. The way Eliot was looking at him he thought something much worse was coming.

"Sure, what?"

"I want to play as a pacifist."

Hardison's brain BSOD's and reboots in time to see Eliot's slight smirk go full Cheshire cat.

"What?"

"I'll play your guy in your little nerd game, but I want to play as a pacifist."

"You're telling me, you want to play this character, this fighter--a guy whose entire skillset is based on fighting--as a pacifist?"

"Yup."

Hardison scatters the papers in front of him as he thinks of all the high-level encounters he'd planned, counting on Eliot's super buffed fighter to keep the party alive, just like in real life.

"I don't get no respect around here."

While he's reworking the campaign, he gets a text from Nate re: the second premade character Hardison sent him--a sexy tiefling ranger. A sexy, female, tiefling ranger.

You're aware that I know where you live, right?, the text reads.

Not my fault you won't be specific. I'm working on pure guesswork here, Hardison texts back.

Fix it, Nates texts again. Then he adds, Don't forget I know how to hypnotize people.   

Hardison snorts: And I can hack your bank account and spend everything on My Little Ponies. Make your damn character Nate.

Sophie is confused.

"If there's no goal, how do you play?" she asks him over Skype.

He never got a chance to really explain how the game worked and clearly, she hasn't looked it up in the meantime.

"There's a goal. There's just not one singular goal. You usually get some kind of quest and then you choose whatever you want to do. It's an RPG, just without the computer." When she squints in confusion he explains. "Role playing game."

Recognition goes off in her eyes and he realizes how he needs to sell the game to Sophie. "You get to pick a character. Well not pick. Make a character. You come up with a backstory and their abilities--"

"It's like coming up with a cover."

"Yes, exactly. It's exactly like that but you can also do magic if you want."

After she makes the connection, she's sold. The next day, she comes over with her backstory prepared. Or, rather, her backstories.

"I made more than one character because I couldn't decide on playing as a bard or a rogue. They're both very me. Oh," she gasps in much more excitement than Hardison thought he would ever see Sophie Devereaux show about Dungeons and Dragons. "Is there any way I could play as a bard and a rogue?"

"I got you," he says pulling out an info sheet he'd printed in anticipation of her request. "Bam. Sophie special."

"Songfilch?" she reads from the top of the sheet.

"It's not an official class," Hardison explains. "It's kind of a homebrew hybrid I whipped up. Half thief, half performer."

Sophie lights up. "You made me a grifter!"

"I told you this was a fun game."

"One more question," she says. "Is it possible I could play as a vampire? They get the thrall ability which would be useful I think."

"Uh, well you could," said Hardison. "But vampires also can't enter homes without being invited. The whole point of being a rogue is sneaking into houses without being invited to steal stuff. You can't expect them to just open the door and let you…" His words trail off as he remembers who he's speaking to. She bats her eyelashes at him, teasingly. "Yeah. Vampire songfilch. Go for it."

Nate texts him again later in the afternoon. He thinks it's gonna be in response to the munchkin baker character he sent (not a real race or class but Nate's not gonna check) but, miracles of miracles, it's a real character. Not a full character, mind you. It's just sketchy notes for a character: A cleric turned paladin. Servant of the god Helm--god of protectors.

There's not a lot there but there's enough for Hardison to know he actually put effort into it. He thinks Sophie must have gotten to him. Either way, it's enough for him to fill in the blanks and make Nate a character he will actually enjoy playing once he gives it a chance.

An enjoyable character who kicks ass since Eliot is still refusing to.

Parker is actually pretty game about the whole thing.

Which she better be, Hardison thinks. You can't force a guy to jump off of a cliff and then get mad about a little geekery.

She picks her class easily (rogue, natch) but she has trouble picking a race.

"What are you playing as?" she asks.

"I'm not playing," he explains. "I'm running the game. I'm like the narrator."

"Oh." She frowns. "That's lame. It would be more fun if you played."

"Someone has to run the game, Parker."

"I guess," she says. "It's still lame though."

He helps her finish her rogue (halfling rogue they decide), but he's only half paying attention. By the time they're done, he realizes there's someone he needs to call.

Hardison arrives at the game sesh with a guest. "Hey guys," he announces. "This is Chris, my foster brother. He's exactly like me, minus the criminal activity and rugged good looks."

He's also white, but no one mentions that.

"What's he doing here?" Eliot asks.

"Hardison asked me to DM for y'all," Chris answers.

Parker realizes what this means first. "You're playing?"

He nods. "Elven Wizard. I'm gonna hack reality, baby."

Chris rolls his eyes. "You can't just use the word hack whenever you want to. It has a very specific meaning."

"I can if I hack the language," Hardison shoots back as he sits down.

Chris grits his teeth like he's had this argument many times before (which he clearly has). "Let's do this before I kill you. Not in the game, in real life. Are you guys ready?"

Hardison looks around the table: Fighter, Songfilch, Paladin, Rogue, Wizard.

It's a weird group.

He grins.

"Ready. Let's do this."

[takaraphoenix]

Shadowhunters Finale Review

...I can’t even summarize my thoughts properly right now because I am just so wildly exhausted and disappointed and frustrated, so here’s the unfiltered running commentary I made during the two-parter, sorted by characters and due to length beneath the cut:

On Jonathan:

Jonathan back at it again, killing flowers. ~puuure eeeviiil~ (Sorry. Still not over Jocelyn being a fucking dickhead who is ready to murder her son over one dead flower he killed as a toddler...)

...I just... I'm so tired of what they did with Jonathan? When they set him up as Sebastian Verlac, he seemed to layered, but this season, they are completely reducing him to the Incest Boi whose only motivation is “Clary doesn't love me enough!” and absolutely no one has even half a fuck to give about everything he has suffered...? Every abuse that is driving him and forged him...?

He could have been such a layered character. I'm not even talking redemption wise, to use the abuse to make him A Good Boi, but he could have been such an interesting villain, there could have been so much to him. This is stupid and sad.

But I am chocking on my laughter at the Seelie Queen literally teaching him WHAT HE COULDA BEEN TAUGHT FROM THE GET GO. To channel his powers. Granted, she channels them into killing Shadowhunters. But they could have been channeled into killing demons.

With the right parent, the right training, without living in hell and being tortured, he could have been an exceptional Shadowhunter. But let's pretend that he is Truly Inherently Evil only because of his demon blood and hey it's legit because he wants to bang his sister so who cares about this guy LOL.

HOLY SHIT THEY REALLY MADE CLARY MURDER HIM WITH A HUG. What a fucking way to go. I don't... I don't even know what to say to that to be honest.

On Clary:

WHAT THE FUCK HAS SHE DONE??

“How do I come back after everything I've done”. What. What line is that. That's the line they could have given Jace in the first episode of 3B. You know, the guy who saw his own body commit 30+ murders, among them the murder of his own grandmother.

What... What's that everything Clary has done? Dress hotter than usual? Go to a rave? Try some Seelie drugs? Sure she killed Lenaia, but that was also a chick she didn't even know and so far she's not been very traumatized by like – killing her own biological father (seriously, the writers never bothered to give her a genuine reaction to that). Way to be overdramatic, writers.

Shitty Ex Machina Rune's existence aside; WHY does the Ex Machina Rune work?? RUNES DON'T WORK ON DOWNWORLDERS. That was like a whole thing in season 1. They kill mundies and they don't work on Downworlders?? Why the fuck is Clary allowed to play – not just an angel but an actual god at this point.

(But y'all know I am going to use this shitty dumb stupid rune in so many fanfiction.)

...But like holy shit. It is so callous to have her say that she wouldn't trade the Shadow World for anything and that “and I met Jace” like he brought all light into her life when the Shadow World killed her mother. Have the writers just completely forgotten that a month ago she lost her mother, her only biological family left?? Ah but it's totally fine because she has Jace now!!! And even though we literally started the episode off with her being devastated and wondering how she will ever come back after everything she has done, they are now only half an hour later already forgetting that she has just gone through major trauma, that she murdered her own father, that she lost her mother? But oh the Shadow World is super awesome, wouldn't wanna trade those past two, utterly traumatizing months for anything!!! Not even for my mom being alive LOL! Just... do the writers even care about the characters? At all?

HOLY FUCKING GODS THEY REMEMBERED JOCELYN. FUCK THIS IS RIDICULOUS ESPECIALLY AFTER HER CONVERSATION WITH SIMON IN EDOM. I am baffled. But I am 100% behind Jocelyn's message because Clary has been a scary motherfucker all this season now with all the things she has done and the rule-breaking. Fuck yeah she shouldn't be allowed to play God, which she DOES at this point.

But like, on a scale of 1 to 10 how dumb did they have to make Clary? Out of all of the ways she could have killed Jonathan, they decided “Nah man she is totally giving up her Shadowhunter self to hug her brother to death” instead of having Miss Stabby-Stab-Stab pull out a dagger and stab him to death? She literallly just got the warning and decides “LOL nope this is how I go out”. What---

There is a huge difference between a character sacrificing themselves for the greater good because there was 100% no other way and a character somehow turning a completely manageable situation into a self-sacrifice that is completely unnecessary... She could have just stabbed him. Or, you know, captured him with a trick instead of murdering. She could have stayed a Shadowhunter without using the Deus Ex Machina runes, living like a normal Shadowhunter. But they really made her go “If I can't play god, I'd rather give up the Shadow World”.

What the fuck even was that “One Year Later”. They literally just wasted a whole year since C/ace reuniting had zero negative effect on her? She didn't combust or anything. They could have literally went after her the day of the wedding, explained amnesia to her and brought her back. But the writers had to be dramatic bitches that put Jace through hell again, huh.

And what exactly did she believe happened? Like, Jocelyn and Luke and Simon?? Basically everyone she ever knew? What did she think happened to them and to herself? She just decided to go back to art school or what? Did they even think about this ending?

Honestly. It'd have been better had they actually Donna Nobled her and said she can never remember and has to be a mundie. But this? This year gap and bullshit and C/ace looking at each other and she suddenly remembers his name because True Love Wins? That makes it even dumber.

On Jace & Meliorn: (I'm trying to give each character their own for the finale, but... I can't separate those two in this case)

THAT STARTLED LITTLE BACKING OFF JACE DOES WHEN MELIORN TAKES IT TO THE BEDROOM. If that wasn't a coming on from Meliorn, I don't know what is. I am definitely living for this little bit of Jeliorn because that was a ship I was sure I'd never get to see proper interactions of. So, small blessings.

Hng. Jace can't lie. How pretty. Seriously his bond with Meliorn is like the saving grace from all of this. And how much fun Meliorn is having with this. Oh my gods my shipper heart is soaring.

SERIOUSLY I AM LIVING FOR THIS. “A serious question. How handsome do you think I am?” WHY WOULD YOU EVEN ASK THAT. Because you want to let my shipper-heart beat some. Thank you, Meliorn, personally, for my life. (Not to mention the answer. A NINE?? Jace. You so pansexual and into handsome Downworlders. It's canon now and I am blessed.)

I'm just absolutely living for Jace getting to interact with a non-Clary and a non-Alec (especially since all of his Alec-interactions this half-season have only been about Ma/ec...). It's... so refreshing to see them use Jace as... a character... instead of a prop. Even if he's played as a comic relief, I am taking so much more from this.

(ALSO: Jimon sparring! Jimon sparring and JACE BOOPING SIMON'S NOSE WHAT THE FUCK.)

On Alec:

What's with Maryse telling him to “take time to mourn”? What the fuck is that? XD He has literally been in Edom and gone back too. There's always been ways in and out. You're sure fast to bury him.

But also, maybe Alec should focus on the way to bring Magnus back instead of planning this fucking stupid wedding. You'd need your groom first.

Tonight. They're literally... I am weeping at how stupid this is. They got engaged yesterday and are getting married today. I had... actual, dumb hopes that the wedding would happen after a time skip. But I forgot this show doesn't know what time is. Ahahaha. Hilarious.

But holy shit am I angry about him being all dodgy and asking Maryse's permission to invite his own father to his wedding. Like. I am very rationally angry about the fact that all the kids sided with their abusive mother over their father, but that they are really all just treating him like that now is insane. Sure, he cheated on their mother, but he is still their father?? He has still been their father and he has been the good parent. If you can forgive Maryse's abuse just like that, how do you hold Robert cheating on Maryse over him like that? This is absolutely insane. What kind of priorities do those writers have to fuck it up this badly? Like the “oh no dad cheated on you let us all comfort you and totally forget the shitty way you have been treating your children!!!” wasn't bad enough on its own, but that they are completely acting like Robert was not just the cheating husband but somehow also the bad parent now? If this is where the show wanted to end it, they should have from the get-go also written him as the bad parent and her as the good parent, then I'd understand this, I'd understand the taking sides thing, the way they all completely turned away from Robert, the way Maryse blossomed and turned into an entirely different character. That ALL would make sense IF they hadn't decided in the first season and in 2B to write Robert as the warm rather and Maryse as the cold and abusive mother. The starting points and end points don't match.

On Magnus:

Magnus. On that throne. In that light. Now that's a look, to be honest.

Also, awkward conversations with the stepmother are very amusing. :D” (But, honestly, Anna and Harry playing off each other is really great. They play the power-dynamic really fascinating.)

Magnus being like “Well no need to close the door if we burn down the place right?” is a mood. It's so stupid and ridiculous, but like it's right. XD”

I'm glad Magnus at least said thank you to Lorenzo and even invited him to the wedding.

I genuinely don't know how to react to “High Warlock of Alicante” to be honest. Like. I don'T know what to say to that.

On Maia:

...I'd like to live in the alternate reality where Maia was more than just her relationships to boys. I'm still let down by the fact that the one (1) badass shot she got in the trailer was literally her walking away from Jordan's funeral fire, with her other ex and her future boyfriend flanking her from either side. If that doesn't summarize this show, I don't know what does.

And while I admire her decision to reconnect with her parents, it also seems rather messed up considering she literally just decided to be The Alpha. So let's leave the pack that has suffered so many recent losses... all alone. That's... not exactly Alpha behavior, even if it is the right thing for her as an individual at that point.

I mean like yeah sure she came back to become an Alpha, but still it's—a weird choice.

BAT BAT EXISTS BAT IS THERE I LOVE BAT HE GOT TO SPEAK. I am so so salty that he didn't get developed properly, that his relationship with Maia didn't get fully fleshed out.

On Isabelle & Simon:

Isabelle as the Human Torch is sure a very nice visual, to be honest.

(ALSO HELEN! HELEN! HELEN! I am 200% sure I can ship Aline/Helen/Isabelle in peace now. Don't @ me.) Though explain to me why Helen doesn't get the fuck away from Isabelle ASAP after realizing that Downworlders turn Isabelle into basically a bomb? I mean, she is half-Seelie.

...and can everyone maybe focus on “Izzy now catches fire when she is touching Downworlders” instead of “SHE WAS KISSING SIMON!!!”...? Like, priorities, dudes?

And how did she conclude “I explore when I touch demon blood. I should totally go to Edom! The place where demons live!”... and act like that should totally “”shield”” her from the atmosphere? What... logic goes into that? I'm serious, someone explain to me why “I explode when I come in contact with demonic stuff” leads to “but I'ma be extra safe in hell where all demonic things live and the very atmosphere should be demonic!!!”...

And Simon and Isabelle... kiss once... like... literally once and the next time they get a moment of being shown alone they literally already fucked. This show... knows that... you can actually go on dates and have a relationship with... oh no never mind this show has never heard the word “pacing” before I forgot sorry LOL

On Luke:

...But like why did his runes return though. I mean, getting turned into a Downworlder like... burned the runes away. They were gone. Why would him no longer being a Downworlder also immediately reapply all of his runes.

I don't know if I really like this, to be quite honest. I don't feel like we know enough about Luke for me to know what to feel about this? Like, he said he didn't want to be alpha and he's been turned against his will sure, but he's been a wolf for like 20 years now. It's... I don't know what to feel on this. Like, he seems really happy about this, but it also feels incredibly cheap due to the show never actually focusing on his thoughts and feelings??

Okay no now that I'm through with it I actually actively hate it. He should have become mundie. Erase it all. Let him live a mundie life with Clary.

On Lorenzo:

I love how Lorenzo brings up the Downworld Council. SOMETHING I HAVE BEEN WONDERING ABOUT TOO. What the fuck happened to that. But nope, SoRrY Lorenzo you are just here to save Magnus. Again. (Others too, but still. It's once again for selfish reasons of helping the Shadowhunters with shit.)

I really like where they took his character. I thought he was just going to be a shallow prop to take Magnus down. Petty and empty. But that they actually give him growth and personality and a personal goal and that they also made him rekindle with Magnus after admitting what he truly wants? That was... actually good. That was more than I ever expected from those writers. Huh.

ALSO FUCK ME I AM 100% BEHIND LORENZO/UNDERHILL.

On Max:

MAAAAX!!! MAX WITH GLASSES! MAX BEING PRECIOUS! He is literally the only thing about episode 22 that I liked. Like that entire final episode was a fucking shit-show.

On Raphael:

Honestly at this point just fuck this show. It is his father’s wedding and he is a mundane. But let’s just have him interact with his ex and her new guy so he can give them his blessing instead of having him actually interact with Magnus.

[jedifighterpilot2727]

I sent this to you once before, but I think tumblr ate it. So, Lena and Kara have been together for awhile and Lena starts thinking marriage. So she starts dropping hints. The problem is that Kara thinks Lena is against marriage because of comments she made before they were together. So Lena leaves bridal mags around and Kara just assumes Lena wants her to give them to Alex. Lena shows her rings, 'Alex already has a ring though...'. Lena starts slowly losing her chill.

So, this turned out a little crack-y? but i thought it was cute and I hope y'all like it!

Dearly Oblivious, We Are Gathered Here Today …

Kara knows exactly what she’s doing, she’s not as oblivious as people would like to believe.

Sure, the first few times it happened she was a little confused, but the fifth time Lena randomly brings up wedding planning, Kara gets it.

Lena isn’t concerned about Alex’s upcoming nuptials.

She’s concerned about theirs.

As in Kara and Lena’s.

As in, Lena Luthor, CEO of L-Corp and the smartest, most beautiful woman in the world; wants to marry Kara.

And the thought is terrifying.

So much so that when it hits Kara she stutters out that Alex already has a venue picked out and then mumbles something about a fire before shooting out the window so fast that she almost breaks the sound barrier.

She makes it to the outer edges of the atmosphere before she slows down, heart pounding in her ears and hands shaking.

The window shopping for engagement rings.

Those pictures of wedding bouquet flowers Lena had shown her.

The color swatches for bridesmaid’s dresses.

The bridal magazines left on the bedside table.

The odd looks when Kara met every suggestion with -

‘Alex and Maggie already have rings’;

‘But Alex’s favorite flowers are tulips’;

‘I would look horrible in that color, as Maid of Honor I highly object’;

‘Thanks for picking these up for Alex, I’m sure she’ll love them’.

-

Lena Luthor wants to marry her.

Her, Kara Danvers - last child of Krypton and lowly Cat-Co reporter.

Not that they hadn’t talked about marriage before, but still - telling someone that one day you’d be okay with getting married and actively hinting to the other person that you want them to propose are two different things entirely.

She knows that Lena loves her, knows it beyond the shadow of a doubt, but the thought that Lena actually sat around and thought up ways to casually bring up marriage with the hope that Kara would get the idea to propose …

The happiness bubbles up out of her in an excited screech and she barrel rolls and flips so much on her flight back to earth that she probably looks like a Supergirl stunt plane.

But she doesn’t care how ridiculous she looks; Lena Luthor wants to marry her.

Once she makes it back to her apartment, she spends the rest of the night thinking of a plan. Because now that she knows Lena wants her to propose, she can’t just drop down on one knee; it has to be a surprise. And how, exactly, is she supposed to surprise someone who is literally begging to be proposed to?

She searching the internet for the answer when her phone rings.

“Hey, Alex, what’s up?”

“Please tell me you aren’t as clueless as your girlfriend thinks you are.”

“What?”

“Lena is going to lose her shit if you don’t take a hint and propose soon.”

“Ohhh.”

“Oh? So you know then? Are you going to propose then?”

“Well,” Kara hedges, cradling the phone on her shoulder as she opens the fridge. “I kind of just figured it out this morning?”

“Kara.”

“I just thought she was being really helpful with your wedding!”

“Kar, she’s one of my best friends, you don’t think that if she wanted to help me with my wedding she’d, I dunno, call me?”

“Hey! I can’t help it that sometimes things go over my head!” She grabs a piece of pizza and heads to the couch. “But now that I do know, what am I going to do about it?”

There’s a moment of silence on the other end of the line and Kara can tell that Alex is thinking about her next words.

“Do you not want to marry her? I mean you talk about her all the time, and you guys are practically married anyway, I just assumed -“

“What?! Rao, no! I mean of course I want to marry her! I’ve wanted to marry her for a while! And now that I know how badly she wants it, it’s all I can think about! I just - I don’t know how.“

There’s another pause before Alex speaks again.

“I know that Krypton’s mating rituals were way different than Earth’s - or well, I guess America’s mating rituals - but I thought you’d watched enough romantic comedies to get the concept. If you need help I can come over and watch a few videos with you, I think -“

“No, no, no I get … what to do, I just don’t know how I want to do it. I mean I want it to be at least a little bit of a surprise, and if she’s shoving bridal magazines at me every five seconds, how is that supposed to work?”

“Oh. Ohhhh. I see. Yeah, I can see how that would be a problem.”

“Not so easy is it?”

Alex’s deep sigh filters across the line.

“I’ll come over and help you figure this out, give me ten minutes.”

“Ooh, can you bring takeout?”

“I can hear you eating right now!”

“Alleeexx you know I’m a stress eater.”

“Fine, I’ll bring Chinese.”

- - -

It takes three movies, two cartons of lo mein, and one giant tub of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream before it hits her.

The perfect proposal.

“What if I just … don’t propose?”

Alex drops her spoon back into the ice cream and pauses the movie with a sigh.

“I thought you wanted this? Are you having second thoughts?”

“No, no, just - what if I still pretend to be oblivious? What if I just let her drop hints until she just can’t take it anymore?”

“Then what?”

“I ask her to marry me!”

Alex’s eyes narrow.

“Kara Danvers, that is a genius plan, I am proud to call you my sister.”

- - - - - - -

Lena is known for being a straightforward business woman.

Her personal life, however, is a different story.

She’s just a little …

Well …

Afraid of rejection.

Okay, a lot afraid.

Which is how she finds herself dropping hints to Kara about marriage, hoping the other woman will propose instead of just doing it herself. It’s not that she’s afraid Kara will say no …

She’s just terrified Kara will say no.

And even if Kara says yes, there would be a chance she’s just saying it to be nice. So the only surefire way to know that Kara actually wants to marry her is if Kara proposes.

It’s all very simple, really.

Only Kara hasn’t proposed.

Even though Lena has been dropping hints for over a month, her girlfriend is deflecting like a pro - she finds a way to turn even the most obvious hints into a wedding planning session for Alex.

Lena loves Alex, she’s spent hours with her friend, pouring over wedding options; but for once it would be nice if the sound of wedding bells made Kara think about their relationship instead of her sister’s.

But still, Lena is anything but a quitter, and there’s some part of her brain that’s convinced hinting around until Kara takes initiative is somehow a good idea.

That’s exactly how she finds herself with twenty different wedding cake samples scattered around her office, waiting on Kara to show up for their lunch date.

This is it, this is her final stand. They say a way to a person’s heart is through their stomach, and she thinks that’s especially true of Kara; so if anything will coax a proposal out of her girlfriend, surely this will be it.

Surely.

Kara arrives promptly at noon, and Lena can’t help but notice the way her eyes light up as she sees the cakes.

“Are we having cake for lunch?” Kara’s bag drops off her shoulder as she stares open mouthed at the pastries.

“Well, good afternoon to you too.” Lena grins, rising on her tiptoes to peck a kiss to Kara’s cheek.

“Sorry, it’s just - wow! I mean that’s a lot of cake. Is there a special occasion?”

“Just thought you might want to taste test some wedding cakes!”

Kara’s brow crinkles as she picks up the wedding cake topper sitting on Lena’s s desk, (a blonde and a brunette, of course - just for added affect).

“Alex and Maggie already have their cake picked out, it’s some weird vegan chocolate thing. It tastes pretty good though.”

Lena can feel her face fall, and Kara rushes to backtrack.

“I’m always down for cake tasting though!”

She just looks so … happy.

On one hand, Lena feels an overwhelming surge of love - there’s no doubt in her mind that she wants to spend the rest of her life with this woman; who gets so excited over cake samples.

On the other, she feels utterly defeated - if Kara hasn’t caught the hint by now … well, she’s obviously never going to get it.

She turns with a sigh to look out the window and weigh her options. She can either get up the guts and pop the question herself, or she can give up her ruse and wait for Kara to propose on her own time.

Well, Lena Luthor has never been a quitter.

“Kara, I know I’ve gone about this completely backwards, and I never should have tried to manipulate you into proposing. I’m just - I just - It’s so hard for me to grasp that you would ever want us to get married, because you’re so amazing and I’m only …  well, me. But I suppose if I want -“ She turns to see Kara kneeling by her desk, small box extended in both hands.

“What - what are you doing?”

“Lena Luthor, I may be oblivious about a lot of things, but one thing I’m not oblivious to is how much I love you. And I do, I love you so much. And I hope that you still love me, even though I’ve been playing dumb for the past few weeks. The truth is, there is nothing I would rather spend my time doing than planning a wedding with you; and honestly I’m really hoping that red velvet cake over in the corner with the rainbow frosting tastes as good as it looks, because it looks amazing.”

Lena can’t help but giggle, even through the tears streaming down her face. One of Kara’s hands moves from the ring box and extends towards Lena.

“Oh, Lee, don’t cry, come here.”

When she takes the hand, Kara pulls her forward and places a kiss on the inside of her wrist.

“I love you so much.” Kara repeats fiercely. “And I’ve been carrying this ring around for three weeks, waiting on you to just get so fed up over trying to get me to take a hint that you would be surprised when I actually proposed. Looking back, that sounds a bit ridiculous, because right know I can’t imagine waiting another second to hear you say you’ll be my wife. So, Lena Lorraine Luthor, will you marry me?”

She doesn’t waste any time before launching herself into Kara’s arms, sending them tilting dangerously backwards as their lips crash together in a searing kiss.

“Is that a yes?” Kara whispers breathlessly when they finally break apart.

“Yes, yes, yes! I can’t believe you waited so long to ask me.”

“Says the girl with the office full of wedding cake samples.”

“Point taken.”

[editorialsonlife]

April

Well, April was a month!! It disappeared so quickly. And now its may, and I’m on another ridiculously turbulent flight down to Dunedin this time - first time ever going there! So I shall write a life update to distract myself in the interim.

I also ate best ugly bagels at the airport and got jam on my screen so it’s all sticky. Bad planning yo.

Oh April! We started off with three days up in auckland for work. Damn was I hanging out for those three days, in the peace and quiet of a hotel room, away from everyone and normal life and the office and dare I even say it, Dave. And it was lovely. The humidity was most definitely not! But it was great getting to be up there and hanging out with people and getting to know their jobs a bit better as well. I got a lot of stuff done and it was so good to just be able to walk out of the office and go home and not have to be anything to anyone and just journal and watch what I wanted to on Netflix and so much other good shit.

The downside was I got sick - boo. Got back to Wellington and a cranky boyfriend and oh my god this plane wants to kill us all. Jeepers.

I went to a first aid course the next day deaf in one ear, and by the time I got to work on Friday could hardly hear in either ear! Anyway, ear infections usually clear up quickly for me which is good because then it was HOLIDAY TIME!! and by holiday I mean road trip up north to Taupo and Rotorua and Auckland. Primarily for Auckland zoo and Kelly tarltons because let’s be real all Dave and I care about are cute fluffy animals. Except, then, on top of everything else arrives a chest and sinus infection. #allclass #gobigorgohome

Which actually turned out to not be such a disaster because it meant we actually slowed the f down, and didn’t try and cram a million things in and we didn’t feel bad about staying in bed til 9am every day and going to bed early. So we spent a lot of time in hot pools and just wandering slowly and I went on swings in every single city we went to. Man, swings are just so much fun! I seriously want a decent set in our back yard.

Taupo was lovely and we had such nice weather. I really like it as a laid-back country kinda vibe. Its a great place to mosey round and read some books and just relax. Quest was awesome too. Both of us were just so excited to have a big bathroom again!! Honestly, its so the little things in life that make you happy. We also had a washing machine and dryer as well which was fabulous!

We drove up to Auckland on the Monday and oh my god, so many roadworks. We hadn’t even made it to Auckland and both of us were just like, f living here ever (no offence aucklanders, but your traffic is shit and your city is so badly laid out). Auckland zoo was cool but OH MY GOD so many freaking rat???? Like, literally ever single enclosure had multiple rats in it!! It turned into spot the rat not the animals actually there. And proper big, 20 cm long body rats, not little field mice or anything. Groooosssss.

And then to make it the perfect storm of health things, I got my period on the drive up, LOL. poor Dave, he never gets laid on holiday. I don’t know we always manage it but we do. Crack up.

The hotel was good, the fact it had two bedrooms was awesome and we had a washing machine in our room as well?? Nailed the washing on this trip, honestly. I basically wore the same three things the whole time. #lazyas

We decided Waiheke was too far (lol, that’s how lazy we were) so we did Devonport instead which was lovely. And had a great playground with fab swings (a+ recommend if looking for swings in Auckland)

Omg this plane is rocking like a boat it’s the weirdest sensation.

We also went to Kelly tarltons where we bought Bruce, a massive soft toy shark!! He’s so amazing, he’s my new cuddle buddy at night, he’s almost as long as I am. Poor Steve has been demoted (Steve being the dugong Dave and I bought on our first ever trip overseas to Sydney). It was hilarious because we went on the morning that tropical cyclone cook was meant to hit Auckland and they were banging on about how terrible it was going to be for Auckland so everyone mass evacuated (sensible, because if our office up there is anything to go by, no one had emergency kits or would know how to get home if anything actually went wrong). So everyone is stocking up on groceries and water and food, and then there’s me and Dave wandering up Queen Street after going to a pharmacy for more drugs (Dave was sick too by now) and me with a giant soft toy shark. We got some odd looks man. It was great! We went back to the hotel and celebrated by watching finding Nemo waiting for the worst of the weather to pass. After that we went to town and played minigolf and got burgers for dinner. All in all it was a very us five year anniversary. Speaking of which, we had our five year anniversary WHAAAAAAAAATTTT where did those five years even go?!?! God I love that boy.

The next day we joined the rest of Auckland evacuating for easter weekend and it took 6 hours to get to Rotorua (usually 2.5). So stupid. Dave was definitely sick because at that point for the first time ever he actually slept in the car. Crazy. It was a really fun drive though Google maps took us on all these mental back roads that were flooded and had trees down and fun crazy stuff so I had a good time. We spent a night in rotovegas with my mental family which was lovely and my uncle finally gave me a prescription for antibiotics (cheers to having a doctor in the family). We went back to Taupo for another night and cruised on home.

It was all rather lovely, despite being so sick.

And then it’s been back to work and the busyness and the rest of life.

One of the best things about April was doing my best to deal with the small things for my mental health, which has been pretty shaky over the last 8 weeks. I knew that after my birthday I needed extra help because #life and not coping, and I found a fucking AMAZING naturopath who I just love so much. She’s been so helpful and supportive. I went to her originally for my anxiety and crazy overthinking and she does homeopathic stuff and whatever she gave me fixed it within a week. Well, fixed it as in it took away the total panic from the overthinking, not that the anxiety has gone away but the whole ‘sky is falling down feeling’s disappeared enough to allow some rational thought back in. I went back on Anzac Day (bless her, she came in for an appointment just for me because we couldn’t make a workday work) and was like, so you said responsibility like, 40 times the other week, let’s look at that, and now we’re working through my hating the system feeling, and dealing with all the suppression that came with working at shit old job and various other life situations.

One of the biggest things I’m struggling with right now is hating the system that society has designed. like, who the fuck ever thought it was a good idea to work 40 hours a week and create a world where people can’t achieve self fulfillment and why don’t we let people work to their natural strengths and why do you have to own a house to be an adult and all this other fucking nonsense. And how do you live a life of your terms but also somehow within the system and cultural norms as well because I don’t want to be an outsider but there’s so many things I don’t agree with and how are so many people ok with sneidng kids to school hungry each day and just, whyyyyyyyyyyy do we all exist and why have we created this inequity and inequality in life?! Like, I don’t get it and I don’t know how to live in it and I don’t know how you’re meant to bring kids up ok this and so many other things ya know.

So just like, not tackling the big issues or anything at all.

Actually, I was watching Moana on Saturday night and just bawling my eyes out because its so reflective of life - the world is telling you to be this and this and this and this and somehow you have to find the courage to be like, nah, fuck off mate, I’m Gunna go sail my ship far away from y'all and see what needs doing somewhere else.

So Sophie, god bless her soul, I absolutely love her, and she tells me I’m not crazy, and I’m not losing my shit, and that while there’s not necessarily an answer we can still deal with it and cope with feelings and also she’s been there and done that and that it will get better.

And I’m so, so grateful I’ve found her. I’m also grateful for all the ladies in my life who have put up with these brutally honest conversations in my life, and let me cry over lunch, and who are working through all their own things and still manage to hold space for me, and who create space for laughter and silliness as well. I’m so grateful for Dave who is willing to just ride the wave with me and go with it. That boy puts up with so much from me and just takes it and goes with it and doesn’t complain. Work has likewise been amazing. I told my boss I was losing my shit internally and I was going to be disappearing for a few hours each week to sort myself out and he was so upset with himself because he’d asked how everyone else was doing but he hadn’t asked me how I was. Even more so he was like, what can we do for you, do you need work from home days, do you need time in other offices, do you not want to travel, just let me know what you need and I will make it happen. Which was fucking lovely.

I also took a month of fitbit and stressing about my weight and I bought new clothes that make me feel good and it’s so much nicer than loathing yourself every single day and cramming yourself into something too small and pretending like it’s ok.

PRAISE BE JESUS WE HAVE FINALLY LANDED.

I apologise for all the typos, I’ll try and fix them at some point. That was a seriously bumpy flight. Amen for antianxiety pills that make it all ok.

Now I just have to turn around and do it all again in 10 hours time.

[texanredrose]

"Is this a bad time to tell you I'm allergic to bees ?" Monochrome

I couldn’t resist. It’s all in good fun, y'all. It’s all in good fun.

Weiss kept her head down, pretending to focus on the script in her hands while surreptitiously glancing around the set over the lid of her espresso. As always, people were bustling to and fro, setting up for the next scene while the actors took a break, the noise of shouted directions and moving pieces covering the conversations all around her. Most of her co-stars were getting ready for filming to resume, some reading over their lines just like her while others joked around in character.

She shouldn’t say ‘others’ like there was more than one. Although a talented actor in her own right, Yang Xiao Long threw herself into roles a bit too vigorously for Weiss’ tastes, constantly keeping up a loud, boisterous, and downright grating attitude even when the cameras weren’t rolling. The blonde mellowed out considerably once they were away from the set but, even with all the requisite noise for installing a secret lair where an office space was a few minutes prior, she could still hear Yang’s voice rising above the din. Dealing with it on set was easy enough considering they didn’t share many scenes one-on-one and the presence of other characters kept the characters from holding the spotlight but the longer filming went on, the more it bothered her for… other reasons.

Finally, when blue eyes quickly lifted to scan around, Weiss found her co-stars suitably distracted, the director engrossed in yet another argument with the producer, and everyone else too busy with their own tasks to notice if she slipped away. By her estimates, she had ten minutes before she’d be needed on set, and she was going to take them. Leaving her copy of the script and her coffee behind, the woman quickly left the set, ducking behind a scaled down version of the city’s skyline to reach the backlot. Although today’s filming involved most of the major players in the show, a few were notably absent and waiting in their trailers to see if they would be able to get around to other scenes. Which was perfectly fine, Weiss thought with a little smile on her lips as she took another glance around before sneaking into the trailer marked ‘Blake Belladonna’ and locking the door behind her. Her sister would probably scoff at the lengths she took to ensure their relationship remained a secret but Weiss firmly believed their private lives should remain just that.

However… there were some notable downsides.

“Blake, what are you doing?” A frown curled her lips as the mischievous intentions she’d had dried up in the blink of an eye.

Her girlfriend of nearly three years- whom she’d started dating before they were cast in their respective roles- perked up, leaning away from her laptop to twist in her chair and look at her. “Nothing?”

“You’re looking at fanart again,” she said, the accusation holding only a little of the venom she could feel building behind her tongue, stepping up to peer over her girlfriend’s shoulder. Sure enough, the entire screen was filled with depictions of Blake’s character, both in and out of costume. Considering the show itself revolved around the lives of masked superheroes with mundane day jobs, there was a fair mixture of leisurely pictures with varying wardrobes alongside action scenes with the character’s alter ego. Now, normally, she would be completely fine with a little indulgence in vanity- she liked scrolling through fanart of her own character, after all- but this particular search turned up only one specific subset of pictures involving Blake’s character: ones that also featured Yang’s character.

Apparently, fans of the show- as fans often did- placed nearly every character in some romantic relationship or other, regardless if it was depicted in the show or not. And the ones who enjoyed 'shipping’ Blake with Yang? They were certainly… prolific.

“Aw, you’re pouting.” Blake pointed out, getting out of her chair to approach the other woman.

Not that Weiss was making it easy, of course; crossing her arms over her chest, she turned away slightly, tearing her gaze away from the screen. “I am not pouting.”

“Lying doesn’t suit you, Love.” Her girlfriend chuckled, wrapping her arms around the woman’s smaller form. Not only was Blake taller, now she was acting smug as she continued to tease. “Does it really bother you that much?”

“What? Is this a bad time to tell you I’m allergic to 'bees’?” She returned, sparing another short glare at the computer screen. Normally, she’d admit using such a clever term to refer to the fictional relationship between Blake’s and Yang’s characters nothing short of amusing, but years of being confronted with enthusiastic fans gushing over the 'ship’ had soured her perspective.

“Now you’re just being ridiculous.” Blake chuckled, pulling her into a hug despite her reluctance and pressing a kiss to her cheek. “You know I only have eyes for you.”

“I know,” she replied, relaxing into her girlfriend’s embrace. It was rather silly, wasn’t it? Getting worked up over other’s perceptions of fictional characters? The frustration was just an irrational response compounded by the discreet nature of their relationship. Perhaps she should just take Winter’s advice and stop trying so hard to keep the paparazzi out of her personal life. It certainly wasn’t doing her any favors. “Maybe we should just go public. Let the tabloids have more than just speculation- something concrete.”

“We could do that, but it won’t stop the fans.” Blake gave her a rueful grin. “We could shout it from the rooftops, put it in the show, and invite everyone to the wedding. Some people will still want to see Yang’s character and mine together in a relationship. That’s their fantasy.” She shrugged. “Why worry about it? I prefer my reality, so let them have their fun. It makes them happy.”

“You’re right.” She conceded with a soft sigh. The woman had a point; the legitimacy of their relationship wouldn’t matter to many. She’d, perhaps, on a few nights when she’d had one too few things to do and one too many drinks in her, dove down the rabbit hole to understand what other people saw in the 'ship’, and many of them had legitimate, positive reasoning behind their support. Who was she to begrudge them that?

“But do you know why I like looking at fanarts like these? The ones with Yang and I together?”

Weiss tilted her head back, looking up into her girlfriend’s smiling face. “No, actually. You’ve never explained your fascination with those other 'ships’.”

“It’s easier to appreciate the artist’s work when I’m not distracted,” Blake replied, leaning down to steal a kiss from her lips, a theft she was only too happy to allow. “If you are in the picture, though. Well, it’s hard to look anywhere else.”

“Now who’s being ridiculous?” She ducked her head, hiding the silly smile that came to her at hearing those words. Somehow, despite all the fawning praise over the years from being on various TV shows and movies, every compliment her girlfriend said seemed absolutely genuine and sincere.

Blake was probably the only person who could truly make her feel special and she loved the woman for it.

“I do like looking at fanart of us, though.” She continued, ignoring the charge laid against her in favor of nodding towards her laptop. “Hit the back button.”

This had all the markings of a trap. A prime opportunity to tease her about something or other but Weiss was willing to play along. Maybe, if she got it all out of her system now, they could enjoy the night once filming finished up for the day.

Reluctantly leaving her girlfriend’s embrace, Weiss stepped over to the laptop and did as requested, expecting the screen to fill with a similar array of pictures, except with her own character taking the place of Yang’s.

She was wrong.

She was very wrong.

“Sometimes, I like to play 'spot the difference’,” Blake said, sliding up behind her as she gawked at the images being displayed. True, this search turned up only the ones including her character and Blake’s, and she didn’t miss the little star icon in the corner identifying the page as a bookmarked favorite. However, they were decidedly… not safe for work, to borrow a phrase, and she’d intentionally avoided searches of this sort for fear of what she might find. Her girlfriend, apparently, had no such reservations. “They can only guess at things I know, and I find it a little… amusing.”

Weiss shivered as the words were whispered into her ear, Blake’s hands resting on her hips for a moment while she pressed into the smaller woman’s back. Blue eyes fluttered shut when a kiss landed just below her ear, prompting another shudder.

“Other times? Well, I have to admit.” She chuckled, fingertips teasing along the hem of her skirt while the other hand slipped under Weiss’ blouse. “They’re rather creative and it gives me… ideas.”

The last word, practically purred out and punctuated with a nip at her ear, destroyed what self restraint she might’ve been capable of dredging up. Weiss turned, hands burying into waves of midnight as she brought their lips together, backing her girlfriend up until they collapsed on the small couch set against the wall of the trailer.

Needless to say, she was late getting back to the set.

Okay, I’m going to admit I’m probably a little bit of an asshole for this, but it’s honestly what occurred to me first and I thought it was just too funny. A little meta commentary on how actors might view the… *ahem* content their fans create is just too tempting to pass up. My mind works in curious ways. Hope you enjoyed!