k

[ctl-yuejie]

I adore WinTeam but P’Pruek is the true delight.

His face when Win told him and Dean that he had already slept with Team.

Truely the expression of a man who is well-meaning but about to smile very widely at the kind of psychological damage that has been suddenly unleashed on him

[makoodlesarchive]

bad dragon

here i am delivering content that NO ONE ASKED FOR !! this is nasty and i got super embarrassed just writing it but i hope you enjoy it anyway

honestly no one look at me, just let me indulge in this in peace

pairing: kirishima eijirou x fem!reader

word count: 10k

warnings: blowjobs, penetrative sex, virgin kirishima, lots of cum (like, a ridiculous amount), breeding (kinda), size kink?. it’s not exactly anthro bc everyone is human here but uhh non-standard genitals, i guess? kirishima has an unusual dick: pls see here for reference      OR     check out the amazing fanart for kiri’s dick !!

Tip Jar!

  dragon dick kiri masterlist!

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Kirishima Eijirou was a perfect gentleman. He bought you flowers, he opened doors for you, he gave the sweetest goodnight kisses, he ate you out so good he had you seeing stars. You had the biggest, fattest crush on him, and you would be embarrassed about it if it weren’t for the fact that it seemed, at least for the most part, to be reciprocated.

The problem was Kirishima never let you touch him.

Whenever the two of you ended up in bed together, with the door firmly locked behind you, Kirishima insisted on sliding under the blankets and eating you out so enthusiastically he had your legs shaking in no time. It’s not like you would ever complain about that, but it definitely bothered you that he was never up for doing anything else. You would see the blanket shifting around as he jerked himself off furiously under the sheets as he tongue-fucked you, but whenever you tried to coax him out from beneath the sheets you were turned down with a soft, apologetic little smile.

You figured it must have something to do with his apparent commitment issues. Everytime you brought up the possibility of being a couple, or anything more than what you currently were (which, tragically, was nothing; just two friends occasionally getting hot and heavy) he brushed you off or changed the subject with a beautifully sunny smile and a laugh, so bright and cheery that you were successfully diverted every single time.

And it was fine, really. You liked Kirishima a lot, so you were totally willing to put up with a few odd idiosyncrasies. And okay, sure, if you were being totally honest with yourself, of course you wanted to be more than friends that flirt and kiss and mess around a bit. You couldn’t even technically call each other fuck buddies because he wouldn’t fuck you. But he was so sweet, and so handsome and kind and his tongue was so so good, that you would take whatever you could get from him. 

At least, that was until one afternoon.

April had brought with it blue skies and sun showers and warm breezes, and as the weather begins to improve your friends take to lounging out the front of the apartment complex. After graduating, renting places in the same neighbourhood just seemed like the next logical step. On days like this, where you all come together just to chill out in front of the complex, it seems like the best idea in the world. As you watch Kirishima chase Kaminari around the lawn, the two of them howling with laughter, something a little wistful twists in your stomach. It’s a familiar feeling, easy enough to shove away normally, but today for some reason you just feel… melancholy.

Maybe that’s why you do something you would never normally do. You turn to Bakugou, who’s aggressively chewing on candy as though it insulted his mother, and say, “Hey, um. Does Kirishima… does Kirishima ever talk about me?”

Bakugou’s jaw stills, and he turns his head very slowly to look at you. He looks mildly disbelieving, which is understandable. The two of you get along just fine, but you’ve never asked him anything personal before. “Why the fuck are you asking me that?” he demands through a mouthful of half-chewed toffee.

You shrug jerkily, suddenly mortified. Why are you asking something like that of Bakugou, of all people? “Never mind.” you say quickly, praying that he’ll just let it go and you can both move on and forget that you had ever asked such an embarrassing question.

A silence stretches between the two of you, long and taut, broken only by Mina giggling as she shows Sero something on her phone a few metres away. You could curse yourself for making things awkward between the two of you when you had been on relatively good terms, but then Bakugou turns to look at you so abruptly that you startle a little. “Look,” he says, jaw working absently as he chews his candy. “He likes you just fine, okay. Why aren’t you having this conversation with him, huh?”

You can’t quite meet Bakugou’s eyes. You don’t know how he can be so forthright all the time. “Um. I’ve tried, but he always changes the subject.”

Bakugou swears softly, glaring out across the lawn at Kirishima as he chases Kaminari, throwing grapes at his back. “I ain’t a relationship counsellor, okay? I get that it must be hard that he doesn’t cum when he’s with you or whatever, but you seriously need to work that out with him. What am I meant to do about it?”

“Right,” you wince, your body hot with embarrassment. Your mind sticks on something he just said though, and you turn back slowly to frown at him. “He… he doesn’t cum?”

“Hah?” Bakugou scowls at you, clearly annoyed that you’re still having this conversation. You’re not about to let up though, because you hadn’t known that.

“I-I didn’t realise that he didn’t-?” you trail off, mortified and horrified in equal measures. You had assumed all those times that he was jerking off under the sheets that he was getting himself off but just didn’t want you to see. You had never questioned the lack of mess because as soon as you were done he always left for the bathroom, returning a few minutes later with damp towels to clean you up with -- you had assumed he cleaned himself up in those moments of absence. How the fuck had you never noticed?  Why did Bakugou know when you didn’t? Oh god, had he and Kirishima talked about this?

Bakugou’s expression shifts as he apparently realises that he had just revealed something you hadn’t been aware of. “Oh.” he says, and his annoyance seems to have evaporated, only to be replaced by an intense discomfort. “Well. It’s not that big a deal, or whatever. I’m sure he still, uh, enjoys himself- fucking hell, can we stop talking about this?”

“Yeah.” you say a little numbly. You feel so stupid. Why had he never said anything to you? You had been under the assumption that he liked you back, but maybe you were totally mistaken. Maybe seeing your naked body turned him off to the point that he couldn’t actually cum even if hidden under the sheets and not looking at you. Maybe he never actually wanted to do any of that with you in the first place. There’s a stinging pressure building in the back of your eyes, and you have to look down at your lap and blink hard to stop yourself from doing something stupid like bursting into tears in front of Bakgou -- you don’t think either of you would live that down. “Uh. I think I’m gonna head up to my room, I’m really tired.”

Bakugou’s eyes widened a little, “Wait, are you-”

“I’ll see you later,” you smile and try to keep your voice as normal as possible, but even you can hear how forced you sound. You stand quickly and brush yourself off before heading back inside; you have to consciously slow your pace so that it doesn’t look like you’re running away, because you really don’t put it past Bakugou not to chase you down for cutting him off like that.

You bump into Jirou on the stairs and babble out an apology, escaping back upstairs to your apartment before she can ask you if you’re okay. The last thing you need is an audience for your imminent breakdown, but thankfully you don’t see a single other person on the way to your place. You shut the door to your room tight and lean your forehead against it to take a deep breath. It doesn’t do much to calm you down, so you turn and make a beeline straight for the bed. Throwing yourself dramatically on top of your bed covers feels a little cathartic, so you allow yourself the luxury of being dramatic as you bury your face into your arms and sigh. 

God, you wish Kirishima would have just talked to you instead of grinning that stupidly bright smile of his and changing the subject anytime you tried to talk or ask about the thing the two of you had together. At least then you would have been able to deal with any upset that may have been caused by that conversation by yourself, and you wouldn’t have had to get all upset in front of one of Kirishima’s best friends. God, how were you ever gonna look at Bakugou again?

You know that stewing by yourself like this isn’t going to help sort this situation out, but you just can’t find the energy to start thinking about what you’re going to do next. You don’t want to start thinking about that at all. You just need some time to yourself, just a little while to relax and breathe and just not think because if you start thinking you’re pretty sure you’re going to cry. You feel impossibly stupid.

When you hear a knock coming from the door, you want to bang your head off the wall. You can’t imagine anything worse than having to talk to someone and pretend that everything is fine right now.

“Y/N? Hey, is everything alright? Bakugou said you ran off.”

Aw, shit. Maybe you can imagine something worse.

You sit up sharply, staring at the door. This was so typical. Of all the people in the building, Kirishima is the last person you want to talk to right now. So of course it stands to reason that he would be the one to follow you straight to your apartment. “Everything’s fine,” you call back quickly, trying hard to sound like you meant it, “Hey, I’m just tired right now. Can we talk later?”

“Bakugou said you were upset.”

That traitor. You clench your jaw and scowl at the wall. “I’m-”

“I’m coming in, okay?”

“Wha-?” you stand up quickly, but Kirishima is already coming in and closing the door behind him. “Kirishima, I don’t-”

“Okay look, Bakugou said you were upset with me and I’m really, really sorry,” Kirishima blurts quickly, hands up in the air as if he’s being held at gunpoint, “He’s actually pretty annoyed at me right now, but he’s right, and-”

“I’m not-” you start, then pause to gather your thoughts. Bakugou was right, especially when he said you had to talk. And it was important this time that you didn’t let Kirishima divert you like he had been doing. “It’s not that I’m upset with you. Not really. I just- what are we even doing?”

“What do you mean?” he asks, so softly that it’s almost a whisper.

“I-” you swallow hard, brace yourself, “I really like you. I like spending time with you, and I’ve told you, or at least tried to, that I’d really like to, well, be- um, be more than whatever this is. And obviously I would totally get if you don’t want that, a relationship and stuff, but I want you to just tell me! Just say it, instead of changing the subject.”

“Wait, baby, please.” Kirishima steps forward quickly and stops just short of touching you, a bare few inches between you. “I like you so much, I never wanted you to feel this way. I just- it’s difficult to explain-”

“Do you...” you start to say, then sigh. You can’t believe you’re actually going to ask this, because it makes you sound so desperate, but you really need to hear him say it, “Do you not find me attractive?”

Kirishima makes a startled choking sound, “Wha-? Are you kidding? I find you so attractive! You’re so pretty, and your body is- is really nice, why would you think-”

“You never look at me when we’re in bed and-” you start fidgeting, horribly awkward. “I just want to be able to touch you.”

Kirishima steps forward, closing the distance between you and dropping to one knee. “Baby, I’ll do whatever you want,” he says, his hands coming to rest on your hips as his thumbs stroke circles into your skin. “You want me to touch you?”

“No.” you squeeze your eyes shut in frustration, realising that he had misunderstood. “I mean. Bakugou told me that you never cum when we’re together.”

When you open your eyes again, you see that Kirishima has gone stock still. His mouth is a little open, and you can see his throat working as he seems to fight for something to say. Very slowly, he gets back to his feet. “He shouldn’t have said that.”

You stare at him, at a loss. “Is it because-” you start, then trail off as you realise that you don’t even know what you’re trying to ask. You just want him to start talking so that you can stop asking all these stupid questions. “If you don’t want to have sex with me, you only have to say so, I would never pressure you into-”

“No!” Kirishima blurts, jolting forward. The suddenness of the movement seems to startle the both of you, but Kirishima recovers faster. “God, no, that’s not what this is!”

“Then, why?” you whisper, thoroughly confused. You had hoped that talking it out would help get some answers, but if anything you’re even more confused and insecure than you had been before he came to your room. “Did I- I mean, if I’m doing something that’s-”

“It’s not you.” Kirishima interrupts, covering his eyes with one of his large palms and leaning away from you. His hand is trembling a little, almost imperceptibly. “It’s not you. It’s me.”

The statement hangs in the air between the two of you like it’s a tangible presence. You stare hard at Kirishima, but he doesn’t remove his hand from his face. He looks a bit like he’s going to be sick. “What do you mean?” you ask quietly.

You’re guessing that this is where you get the ‘You’re great and all but I’m just not ready for a relationship. It’s got nothing to do with you though, I need to work through my own stuff’ sort of speech, and you have to brace yourself for it. Instead, Kirishima says something that you had not prepared yourself to hear in the slightest.

“I’m sorry.” you say, a little bewildered. You’re certain that you heard that wrong. “Could you- could you say that again?”

A flush has begun to crawl steadily across Kirishima’s face, made all the more prominent by the contrast of his hand pressed to his eyes. His ears are so red that they blend right into his hair. “I said,” he says, then takes an inhale, “That you’ll break up with me if you see my dick.”

You don’t actually know how to begin replying to that. For one, breaking up would require you to be in a relationship, which is something that he has been avoiding for a while now. You decide to address the bigger problem first. “Why would I want to break up because of your dick? Why would you even think that? Do you think I’m that shallow?”

“It’s got nothing to do with you being shallow,” Kirishima says slowly. You get the impression that he’s measuring his words, and his uncharacteristic reticence has you on edge. “It’s just that- I’m not, well, normal.”

You stare at him, a little taken aback. Kirishima had always had some issues with self-confidence, ever since middle school, but you’d always thought he’d worked through that in UA. You had never heard him talk about himself like this. “What’s that supposed to mean? Eijirou, lots of people are self-conscious about what they have going on downstairs. It doesn’t mean-”

“No, you don’t get it,” he interrupts. His hands have started twisting up the hem of his shirt, wringing it out and wrinkling the material. He’s frowning, and clearly starting to get agitated. “It’s not that I’m self-conscious about it- well, I am self-conscious about it, I guess, but it’s for a reason! I mean it, it’s not exactly… standard.”

Your face scrunches up in a frown before you can stop it. Not standard? “You’re worried it’s too small?” You guess. Your gaze drops to the crotch of his pants, where he’s subconsciously folded his hands. “Too big?”

“Um.” Kirishima lets out a nervous little laugh, several octaves higher than normal. “Yeah, I guess. It’s… it looks weird.”

“Eijirou,” your voice is soft now, most of your frustration melted away by the sight of Kirishima’s anxious fidgeting, “We live in a world where physical mutations are the norm; you really don’t have anything to worry about.” You pause for a moment, but Kirishima doesn’t respond immediately. The silence builds, until you try to break it with a light-hearted, “How weird can it be, really?”

Kirishima’s throat works as he swallows hard, but he’s nodding so you at least know that he’s listening. When he does speak, his voice is so low that you have to lean closer to him to catch what he’s saying. “I just don’t want to ruin this.”

Your heart twists, and the last of your frustration straight up disappears. You take a breath to steady yourself, then step forward and place your hands gently on his chest. A tremor works its way up his spine at your touch, but you don’t remark on it. “Kirishima.” you say firmly, and when he looks up and makes eye contact you try to keep your gaze as strict as possible. “You really have no idea how much I like you, do you? God, I like you so much, it’s stupid. I’ve wanted to be with you for so long. I mean, even if you never wanted to have sex I would understand, so long as you talked to me about it. Your dick is not gonna stop me from liking you, idiot.”

The fear of rejection is still plain to see on Kirishima’s face, but there’s something lurking just underneath that looks like hope. “I’ve never… I’ve never been with anyone like that.”

“You haven’t?” you ask, genuinely surprised. Not only is Kirishima perfectly sweet, he’s also extremely attractive. As an up-and-coming sidekick in Fatgum’s hero agency, you knew that he had no shortage of admirers. Even before that, in UA, you knew there were always people who had their eyes on him. He was so bright, he was hard to miss. 

He laughs, scrubbing at his eyes with his knuckles. “Uh, no. I mean, I’m not totally inexperienced. I mean, I’ve done oral and stuff, and I think I’m actually pretty good at it-”

“You are definitely pretty good at it,” you chime in, nodding and trying not to laugh at the flush crawling up his neck.

“I enjoy it, too!” he says quickly, as though trying to reassure you, “I enjoy it a lot. But I’ve never- I mean, no one’s ever touched me like that.” You feel your mouth drop open in honest shock. A little part of you couldn’t help but feel reassured that it wasn’t you he had a problem with, but that was mostly drowned out by surprise. Kirishima rushes on before you can speak, as though trying to say his piece before he runs out of steam, “It’s not that I didn’t want to, it’s just that it’s never seemed worth the fallout. Especially with you. I’m happy with being with you in whatever way I can, and I don’t want my stupid dick to scare you off or-”

“Oh my god, Kirishima, stop,” you say, and this time you really can’t hold back your laugh. “Your stupid dick isn’t going to scare me off. God, I can’t believe this is why you never let me touch you.” you step closer and press a soft, close-mouthed kiss to his lips. You hadn’t realised just how tense Kirishima was until he relaxed a little into your touch, the stiffness in his shoulders easing out as he sighed into the kiss. You pull back just a little, just enough that you can give him a cheeky smile. “Want me to give you your first blowjob?”

Kirishima’s whole body tenses right back up as his eyes shoot wide in surprise. “What?” he squeaks out, his ears turning scarlet.

You take his hand in yours and tangle your fingers together, before tugging him gently towards the bed. “I want to,” you assure him quietly, “No matter what your dick looks like, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” Kirishima says as he sits at the edge of the bed. He’s breathing a little faster now, either from excitement or nerves. You’re guessing it’s a bit of both, because he’s clinging on tight to your hand even though he looks like he’s about to bolt. When you hook your fingers around the waistband of his shorts, he catches one of your wrists with his free hand. “If you- you know, if you change your mind after seeing it, just know that I won’t be mad or anything.”

He’s so quiet and earnest that you feel your heart melt a little looking at his nervously hopeful eyes. You take your hand back and climb onto his lap, pushing your fingers into his wild mop of hair. It’s the first time you’ve ever been close with him like this -- usually he would give you a sweet, gentle kiss and then dive between your legs, always keeping a frustrating amount of distance between your lower halves. This time though, he doesn’t try to divert you away. His hands grip your hips tight, and he leans his head into your touch. “I wish you would stop expecting me to push you away.” you murmur into the side of his neck, peppering little kisses into his skin. Kirishima lets out the smallest, choked off sounding whine at that, and tilts his head so that the long line of his throat is exposed. You take the hint, and start trailing kisses all along the soft skin at the base of his neck. “I told you, and I meant it; I want to be with you.”

Strong arms wind their way around your back and pull you close until you’re sat right over Kirishima’s crotch. You don’t even think it was intentional on Kirishima’s part, but you won’t pass up the opportunity when it presents itself to you. His shorts are bulging a little right in the centre where he’s starting to get hard, and you lower yourself down so that you’re grinding over him. He gasps at the contact, and his hips jerk up into you. “Oh, shit. I want you, so badly.” he gasps, his forehead dropping down to rest on your shoulder.

You have to admit, what you can feel through his shorts is… intimidating. ‘Yeah, I guess,’ he had said when you asked him if he was worried about his dick being too big. Judging by what you could feel pressing against you, that was a massive understatement, and he was only half-hard. You ghost your hands down over his sides, feeling his ribs expand with his breaths, sliding down until your hands reach the waistband of his shorts again. You push them down over his hips, and he lifts himself up to help you, and then he’s just in his impressively tented jockstrap. You smile reassuringly at him as you tug down the jockstrap, and then his cock springs free of the waistband and you pause.

“Oh.” you breathe.

“I know that it’s-” Kirishima begins to visibly panic, his hand reflexively shooting down to try and cover himself as he tries to sit up.

“It’s okay.” you say quickly, recovering from your surprise as quickly as possible. You still feel a little off-kilter as you slide off his lap to your knees in front of him. You know that you’re staring at his cock wide-eyed, but you can’t quite help yourself. It’s… well. It’s definitely not standard.

You reach out, your hand hovering uncertainly over his cock because you barely know how to begin. It’s thicker than a soda can, and long. Delicate ridges and swirls decorate the underside, with a series of bumps along the top. When you finally do grasp him in your hand, you’re rewarded with a barely stifled gasp and a hot spurt of precum that dribbles down his cockhead to your fingers. You use both your hands to explore his length, fingers trailing over all those strange ridges. The bumps along the top are apparently sensitive, because when you rub your thumbs over them Kirishima gasps and his hips thrust gracelessly into the air.

“Sorry!” he blurts as his cock dribbles even more precum. There’s so much of it that it looks like you actually used lube or something to slick up his cock, but you guess that this must be normal for him because he just looks embarrassed. “I- it’s sensitive, I guess, um- I usually put down a towel, because I tend to get, uh, messy.”

The way he says that and the connotations of it has your thighs squeezing together, and you take a deep inhale through your nose. It’s unexpectedly hot. “Gotcha.” you smile at him, trying to put him at ease as you return your attention back to his dick. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t mind if you make a mess.”

“Oh, shit. Uh, okay.” Kirishima says, and his breathing has gotten noticeably heavier now. He’s almost panting as he leans back on his elbows, craning his neck so he can get a look at what you’re doing. There’s a curious swell around the base of his cock that just seems to be growing. One of your hands travels down to it curiously, splaying over it and then rubbing it at it experimentally. His hips rock forward sharply, a huff of breath leaving him as he grunts a muted, “Fuck!”

The precum is oozing almost continuously now, spilling over with nearly every stroke, and your rubbing at the swollen base seems to be pushing even more out. It’s obscene, the copious amount of it and the way it’s stringing down onto your hands. If this is the amount of precum he produces, you can hardly imagine the amount of cum he’s going to produce. You wonder if ‘messy’ is another understatement.

You finally lean forward and lick an experimental stripe up the underside of his cock, lapping at the ridges and swirls. The moan that’s ripped out of him is needy and so desperate -- his stomach muscles are tensed with the effort he’s putting in to keep from rocking into your mouth, but his cheeks are flushed and his own mouth is lolling open, his eyes squeezed shut. You take that as your cue to take all of him in your mouth as best as you can, suckling at the tip before swallowing him down. You get about halfway before you have to pull back and try again. Your mouth is stretched obscenely wide around the girth of him, and you swear you can feel the weight of his dick pulsing on your tongue.

“Oh god, oh baby, oh Y/N,” Kirishima is babbling nonsensically, his head thrown as his hips make the sweetest little aborted rocking motions, like he wants nothing more than to let go but is trying his best to restrain himself for your sake. “Feels so good.”

You suck him as best as you can, but your jaw is starting to ache from being hinged so wide. You alternate between stroking his length and suckling on the head of his dick, tracing the swirls and squeezing the bottom. The swell at the base of his cock has engorged even further, and you prod at it curiously with one hand as you work his length with the other. It’s firm but oddly spongey, and everytime you poke at it Kirishima’s whole cock twitches.

When he gasps out your name you pull back and look up at him. He’s trembling, his shirt rucked up past his bellybutton and his gaze fixed unwaveringly on you. “You okay?” you ask softly, rubbing your thumb along one of the ridges under the head of his dick.

“Yeah,” he breathes, reaching down to cup your face. His thumb swipes over your bottom lip, and you realise that a string of saliva and precum is dripping down your chin. “But if you keep going I’m gonna cum.”

“Isn’t that kind of the point?” you laugh, and press a kiss right on his slit. His hips twitch and you dodge backwards just in time to avoid him taking your eye out with his hard on. 

“Sorry!” he looks mortified, and you can’t help but find his nervous fumbling absolutely adorable.

“Don’t worry about it.” you smile as you kiss your way down his shaft, prepared now for the intermittent jerking of his hips. You get to that swollen part at the base and place your mouth right at the bottom of his cock, before wrapping your lips around it to the best of your ability and sucking.

You had guessed that this swollen area was sensitive thanks to his reactions earlier, but you’re not quite prepared for the shout he lets out or the way his hand grabs onto the side of your head as he damn near rides your mouth. You’re totally startled by the reaction, but given the amount of times that you’ve done the same to his mouth you’re only too happy to indulge him. Plus, it’s the first time you’ve ever seen Kirishima fall apart like this. His cock is dribbling precum at a rapid rate the more excited he gets, and thick strings of it are pouring onto your cheeks. You think you should probably feel a little grossed out, but seeing Kirishima open-mouthed and panting as he rides your face like he’s hasn’t got a single other thought in his mind has you so turned on that your panties are getting sticky and uncomfortable between your legs. You stick your own hand between your legs to try and relieve yourself of some of the heat coiling up in your stomach, but the way that Kirishima’s rutting into your face throws off your coordination.

“Oh god, please, baby, please, put it back in your mouth, I’m gonna- fuck, Y/N, I’m gonna cum, please-” He begs, his head thrown back as he gasps.

How could you ever deny him when he pleads like that? You pull your head out of his grasp and sink your mouth back down on his cock, and then you just hold there and breathe as steadily as you can as Kirishima’s cock throbs in your mouth. His hips spasm, pushing his cock further into your throat. It almost feels like he’s getting bigger, as if he’s growing down your throat.

Kirishima is still babbling, a steady stream of senselessness about how good you’re making him feel, how beautiful you are, how lucky he is, until he cuts himself off with a gasp of “Baby, I’m- I’m-” and then he’s silent, his mouth hanging open as his whole body strains.

You try to suck him through his orgasm, but you are utterly unprepared for the sheer quantity of cum that erupts from his dick. Despite your intentions, you have no choice but to pull off his cock, choking a little on the cum that actually managed to get up your nose. You stroke him through it, feeling dazed as you watch him cum. You know it’s dripping from your chin, running in rivulets down your face. You wonder if it’s coming out your nose.

Kirishima seems to come forever, humping into your fist and whining and moaning the whole time. When his cock finally gives its last, exhausted spurt, his body falls limp against the bed. He’s gasping for breath and staring at the ceiling, looking like his soul had been ejected from his body along with the insane amount of cum. You notice the swollen part at the base of his cock has deflated almost entirely, to the point that it’s hardly noticeable anymore.

You climb up on the bed beside him and nudge him with your knee, a little concerned. “Eijirou? You good?”

When he looks at you, there’s a goofy smile splitting his face. “I have never been so good in my whole life.” His smile freezes as he catches a proper look at your face, caught between surprise, embarrassment, and something else. He reaches out to your face and swipes his fingers through the mess on your face. “Oh god, I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t be!” you hasten to assure him, squeezing his wrists. “It was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen!”

Kirishima stares at you as though he almost doesn’t believe you, but his cum is painted across your face and dripping down your chest, so he’s not in the best position to argue. “I told you I tend to get messy.” he breathes out a laugh, and then leans forward to kiss you, apparently not caring about the taste of his own ejaculate.

You hum into his mouth, your thighs clenching in excitement. “Eijirou,” you whisper into the kiss. When he pulls back, you bite your lip and smile at him, “Next time, will you fuck me?”

Kirishima inhales sharply, and his grip on your hips tightens to the point that the pressure is near bruising. “You really want that?”

“God, yes.” you blurt, shifting so that you’re straddling his stomach. You lower yourself down so that you’re grinding against his bare skin, and you can see the exact moment that he realises you’ve soaked through your panties.

He groans, and pulls at your hips to encourage you to grind against his stomach harder. “Shit, sweetheart. You don’t think it’s… kind of gross?”

“I didn’t expect the amount of cum,” you confess, wiping at your face with a helpless laugh, “But no, I don’t think it’s gross. I like it.” You whimper as Kirishima’s thumb slides over your swollen clit, the glide made smooth thanks to the slickness of your own arousal.

Kirishima is looking up at you as though you had hung the moon, and it’s hard not to get a little embarrassed under the intensity of his gaze. “Okay,” he whispers, “If you’re sure.” He glances down with a small frown, his lips twisted thoughtfully, “I don’t want to hurt you, though.”

“You won’t.” you kiss his nose, grinning as it wrinkles up under your lips. “We’ll make sure I’m stretched.” you glance over your shoulder at his still wet, softening cock. Even now, the size of it is intimidating. “And lube,” you conclude, “We’ll use lots and lots of lube.”

“Yeah,” he breathes, a smile starting to light up his face. He presses a sloppy kiss to the base of your throat, and you can feel the smile against your skin, “Yeah, okay. I’d really like that.” There’s still cum everywhere, all over your hands and chest and face and splashed across Kirishima’s legs and stomach, but he doesn’t seem to care about the mess in the slightest as he rolls the two of you over so that he’s hovering over you. The kiss he presses to one of your breasts is impossibly soft, and you tilt your head back and sigh as you feel his fingers trace over the lips of your pussy. “I’m so lucky to have you.” he whispers, then pushes himself down your body.

As his tongue flicks over your clit, you smile. It’s definitely you that’s the lucky one here.

_________________________

Kirishima’s complicated relationship with his genitalia had started in middle school. Up until that point, he had managed to remain blissfully unaware that there was any kind of abnormality in his nether regions. That changed one day in the locker rooms.

Having never paid any particular attention to what he had in his pants, Kirishima hadn’t thought anything of changing out with the rest of the boys in his class, as unabashed as any middle-schooler that hadn’t developed a sense of self-consciousness yet. He didn’t notice the whispers or stares until one of his friends nudged him hard. “Dude,” he said, glancing between Kirishima’s legs and then away, curiosity and mild revulsion mingled on his face, “What’s wrong with your thingy?”

“Wrong?” Kirishima had echoed, discomfort beginning to prickle beneath his skin. He hadn’t realised there was anything wrong with his genitals. He covered up quickly and finished getting changed, but the stares lingered.

No one said anything more about it to him, but by the end of the day rumour had spread that Kirishima was weird down there.

He had, like so many boys his age, taken to the internet to do his own research. It felt like a punch to the gut when he realised that his classmates were right -- his dick looked nothing like the dicks that all the guys in the videos he found had. There were exceptions, where the person’s genitals were affected by their quirk, but they were always full-body quirks that made it pretty obvious that what you were gonna find down below would be non-standard. His genitals didn’t match his body or his quirk, so his classmates must be right when they say that he’s weird with those grossed-out little laughs.

He learned pretty quickly to keep that part of him to himself, to change out quickly and efficiently in such a way that no one would ever see the parts of him that he’d rather keep hidden. He welcomes physical contact because he’s still an affectionate guy, but he’s always careful about the distance he allows between himself and others just in case they brush up against him accidentally and somehow feel that he’s different. When the boys in his class start excitedly talking about girls and other boys, and how nice it’d be to have a girlfriend or boyfriend, Kirishima tries to stay out of it. He doesn’t want to wonder about something like that when he knows that if someone were to find out his secret they’d be totally grossed out.

High school comes hand in hand with experimentation though, and Kirishima is lonely and touch-starved. He doesn’t want to avoid touch for the rest of his life out of fear that someone’s going to know. So he allows himself to indulge a little; he’s popular with girls in UA, a fact that surprises him. Unlike the girls in middle school, they haven’t heard the rumours that there’s something wrong with him, so they smile and chat to him and even flirt. It’s exciting and new and he allows himself to have just this -- he kisses them and he makes them feel good, and then he retreats when they look for more because he just can’t give it to them. 

When he tells you all this, you could swear that you feel your heart crack right down the middle. You hadn’t realised how lonely Kirishima was, wrapped up in a self-constructed blanket of self-loathing and disgust. You knew it had taken a lot of trust for him to open up to you like he had, but you hadn’t realised just how much. It makes your chest fill with some undefinable emotion, and you just want to hold him and never let go. 

You’re more determined than ever now to show him exactly how much you care about him, and exactly how much any physical anomaly doesn’t affect the way you feel in the slightest. You’ve been stretching yourself methodically and carefully every night of the week that has passed since you gave him his first blowjob in preparation to finally have sex with him. You just want him to feel good, and you don’t want him to worry about hurting you. And now, tonight, you’ve decided that you’re ready for it.

Bakugou’s the one that answers the door when you knock at their shared apartment, and his face does something funny when he sees you. He lets you in without a greeting, and yells for Kirishima as you shut the door behind you. It’s definitely a little awkward, because your last proper conversation was that day when he told you that your now boyfriend didn’t get off when you were together, but you smile and ask him how he’s doing all the same.

He just grunts at you and sprawls out on the couch, his attention fixed on his phone. You don’t try to make any further conversation, because you figure he probably won’t respond and you can hear Kirishima crashing around further down the hall anyway. You’re about to slip down the hall towards Kirishima’s room when Bakugou speaks again, surprising you. “You talked.”

You pause, confused for half a moment before the memories of your last conversation come flooding back. “Oh. Uh, yeah, we did.” 

Bakugou nods, still staring at his phone. You hover uncertainly, unsure of whether you should continue to Kirishima’s room or if Bakugou had something else he wanted to say. You don’t have to wait long; Bakugou puts his phone down and turns to survey you closely. “If you’re still here, then I guess you didn’t freak out.”

“There’s nothing to freak out over.” you say defensively, thinking of how sensitive Kirishima is about his body.

“I never said there was!” Bakugou snaps back instantly. You both glare at each other, but you don’t respond further. You came here for one reason, and that reason was not to start a fight with Bakugou when your boyfriend was waiting for you in the bedroom. When Bakugou speaks again, it’s with an awkward edge to his voice. “Whatever. Just don’t be an asshole to him.”

You realise that Bakugou is just trying to look out for his friend, and the revelation that you’re receiving Bakugou’s awkward attempt at a shovel talk is enough to have you reeling. “As if I would be,” you say, “I really like him.”

“Good. Fine.” Bakugou picks his phone back up and you take that as a dismissal. You’re just about to leave when he says, “By the way, keep it the fuck down. I don’t care if you’re taking dragon dick or if it’s Shitty Hair’s first time getting his dick wet, I don’t need to hear that nasty shit.”

His crudeness has you flushing hot with embarrassment, but you don’t dignify him with a response. You slip down the hall and up to Kirishima’s bedroom, knocking softly on the door before letting yourself in.

Kirishima is in the process of trying to stuff a pile of clothes into the bottom of his wardrobe, and he slams the door shut and whirls around when he hears you come in. “Hey!” he beams at you, trying to kick aside the pair of underwear that’s stuck in the edge of the wardrobe door.

“Hey, you.” you greet him. You’re still a bit flustered from Bakugou’s comment, but you hide it as best as you can as Kirishima sweeps you up in his arms and pulls you into a sweet, close-mouthed kiss.

In the week since you blew him the first time, the two of you have alternated between your apartments and spent almost every single day together. Some days you just touched each other with your hands, other days you used your mouths on each other. You still hadn’t gotten fully used to his enormous loads of cum, but he seems at least to be getting more and more comfortable with your touch. Even now, his hands trail up your sides as he presses eagerly into you; this boldness would have been unheard of coming from him only a week ago, but neither of you are under any illusions about what the two of you are going to get up to this evening.

You wind your arms around his neck and melt into the kiss, relishing the contact and the wet slide of his lips against yours. As his hands trail from your hips to your lower back to your ass, you feel the hard press of his lower abdomen nudge against you. You pull back and grin at him, “Someone’s impatient.”

Kirishima flushes, but he doesn’t pull away or deny it. Progress. “I’ve been thinking about you all day.” he confesses quietly, reaching up to nudge a flyaway tuft of hair out of your eyes.

“Yeah?” you grin, delighting in his openness. You take a small step back and look down at where his bulge is tenting the front of his sweatpants. “How long have you been like this, baby?”

“Pretty much since you texted me telling me you were thinking of coming over.” he says with a cheeky little smile, nudging his face into your neck and nipping at the skin there. “So, an hour and a half? Give or take.”

You hum as you cup his hardness through the cotton of his joggers. He groans and his hips jerk into your palm, as sensitive as ever. “Hey,” you murmur, “Wanna fuck me?”

Kirishima’s whole body twitches at that, and you swear you can feel his cock jump in his hand. “Now?” he asks, his voice gone a little hoarse from surprise and arousal.

“Unless you’d like to wait?”

“No! Now is good!” Kirishima says hastily, reaching out to hold your hips as though he’s afraid you’ll disappear. “God, now is so good.”

It’s really hard to hold back your laugh as you watch him scramble towards the bed, tugging you along with him. He’s excited, that much is obvious, and you really can’t blame him -- he’s gone so long thinking that he would never get to have this, that he would never be accepted like this. You want to give him everything.

His hands start fidgeting with the sheets as soon as he sits back on the bed. You straddle his lap and take his hands in yours before leaning in for a kiss, hoping to distract him from any nerves or self-doubts before they can take a hold of him. He hums happily into your mouth, squeezing one of your hands in his and using the other one to wrap around your waist and pull you closer.

“I’ve thought about sex with you so many times,” you admit when you pull away from the kiss. You reach up and stroke a line down the bridge of his nose, then push back a lock of his hair; it’s freshly washed and ungelled, lying fluffy and loose around his face. He’s looking up at you like you just hung the moon, open-mouthed and soft-eyed. It’s such a sweet look on him, and you love watching it contort into pleasure as you sink down to rub yourself against his hard on. “I want you to feel good.”

Kirishima makes a choked off whining sound in his throat as he grinds up into you. “You always make me feel good.” he says. You can feel his cock thickening and filling out against you, and judging by how clearly you can feel him, he’s foregone the usual jockstrap or protective cup he uses to try and hide his shape in his pants. 

You reach down and pull at his sweatpants -- you manage to get one leg off entirely, but the other gets stuck halfway down his left thigh and you’re too impatient to keep pulling at it so you just abandon it in favour of reaching for Kirishima’s now exposed cock. You’ve gotten familiar with the thick ridges and bumps of it over the past week, familiar enough for your fingers to seek out his sensitive spots without even looking.

He moans as you touch him, and dips his hands into your pants so that he can squeeze at your ass. His grip is a little too hard, bordering on painful as he bites at your neck. He pops open the button on your pants and shoves one of his hands into your panties, rubbing at your clit with his thumb and trailing his other fingers along your slit. 

You rub at the bumps along the tip of his cock, and you’re rewarded with a little squirt of precum. It dribbles down your hand and onto the sheets, and you wonder if maybe you should put down some towels to try and keep the mess contained. But Kirishima is letting out the softest little moans as he tries to rut into your hand and rub at your clit at the same time, and you decide that ruining the moment to lay down towels just isn’t worth it. A little mess is a small sacrifice to make.

When his fingers finally dip inside you, you feel his whole body tense up and still. “Baby,” he says, his voice soft and a little stunned, “You..”

“I stretched myself out before I came over,” you finish for him, pushing your hips back so that his fingers sink all the way inside of you. The lube still inside of you makes the slide effortless, and the look on Kirishima’s face is absolutely priceless. “I’m ready when you are.”

Those words elicit another little spurt of precum as Kirishima’s cock twitches in your hand. When you glance down, you see that the base of his dick is engorged and painful looking, and it only seems to be swelling. You only get to look for a moment though, because then you’re being flipped on your back and Kirishima is looming over you. “Oh, baby, oh shit,” he grits out through clenched teeth as his cock rubs up against the back of your thighs. “Are you sure you want to?”

“I want to, I want to so bad,” you promise him, kissing where you can reach on his face. You reach down and grip his cock, guiding it to your entrance, “Go slow, baby.” You’re so excited when you first feel the tip of his cock press into you that you’re not sure if the gush of wetness is from your pussy or his precum. You’re so turned on that you wonder if the amount of lube you had used was overkill, but then the length of him starts to stretch you out and you decide that yes, you absolutely did need that lube.

As soon as the tip is in, Kirishima stills over you. His head drops down, forehead making contact with your shoulder as he groans. You rock your hips experimentally, your breathing gone a little ragged as you realise that you can feel all those fleshy bumps and ridges, but Kirishima snatches at your hips instantly to still you. When he speaks, his voice is strained, “I’m not gonna last.”

Affection bubbles up in your chest as you look at his flushed face, his misty eyes. He’s practically trembling from the effort of holding back. “It’s okay,” you assure him, looping your arms over his shoulders and tracing little patterns into the skin of his back, “You don’t have to, it’s your first time. We have all the time in the world to go again and again, as many times as you want.”

Kirishima makes a garbled little noise in the back of his throat, and then he’s kissing you so sloppily and enthusiastically that drool begins to slip down your chins. It’s a little gross, but considering how much cum you’re going to be covered in soon enough you can’t be too fussy. When he pulls back, it’s so that he can look down and watch where his cock is entering you in increments.

The slow, inexorable stretch of it has your breath catching in your throat. You throw your head back on the bed and focus on keeping your breathing as steady as possible as he presses into you so, so slowly. After exploring the length of him with your mouth and hands, you knew he was big, but apparently knowing and feeling are two completely separate things. You feel like you’re being stretched impossibly wide, and when you glance down you see that he’s not even halfway in. 

Kirishima pauses suddenly, his breathing coming in short pants. You think that he’s just taking a moment to collect himself, to pace himself, but he’s frowning down at where the two of you are connected. “I dont- I don’t think I’ll fit.”

“Oh, you’ll fit.” you declare, jaw set stubbornly. His dick was already partly in you, and like hell were you giving up now. “Don’t worry. Keep going, Eiji.”

“You’re so…” he groans as he edges his hips forward, rocking his cock another inch inside of you, “So tight, you feel so wet and warm inside, oh god, so good, so good.”

The stretch is starting to sting, but you’ve prepared yourself well for this and it’s not so bad that you can’t breathe through it. When he bottoms out inside you, the tip of his cock hits your cervix and your whole body jerks hard at the dull ache it sends up your spine. “Fuck!” you cry out, your hips humping back into Kirishima’s of their own accord. You can feel every damn ridge and swirl grinding against your insides, and you clamp down hard around him, gasping. “Oh, shit.”

You’ve never felt so full in your life, and Kirishima’s cock doesn’t even fit all the way inside you. You wonder if you’re about to split in two. Your thighs are splayed obscenely wide, and you can feel your own body trying to suck him in further but there’s nowhere else to go because he’s filling you up so completely. Your chest is heaving as you pant for breath -- your thoughts have turned a little muddy, but even now you can see that Kirishima has frozen, his face tucked into your neck as he shudders with deep, panting breaths. Your shoulder feels wet, and you realise that he’s drooling on you.

“Eijirou,” you groan, “Move.”

His first thrust is hesitant, exploratory. He apparently likes what he feels, because he lifts his head up so that he can look at you properly. He looks totally blissed out, his eyes a little unfocused, and his expression alone shoots a bolt of heat straight between your legs. You breathe out a curse and move your hips down and into him, trying to encourage him to fuck you properly. When he thrusts forward again, the movement is accompanied by a vulgar squelching sound, and you realise that you’re probably being filled up with his precum. The thought makes you moan quietly, tightening up around him. 

Kirishima grunts and dives down so that your chests are pressed together, his arms pushing your legs up and to the side, and then suddenly he’s fucking into you for real. His moans sound like they’ve come straight out of a porn video as he shoves his cock as deep inside you as possible before pulling out and doing it again. All you can do is gasp against him as the breath is driven straight out of your lungs by his desperate humping.

His movements are nearly feral, jackhammering into you at a pace that probably should feel punishing but instead has you hiccuping out moans on every stroke. The size of him and the speed at which he’s fucking at you is overwhelming in the best possible way. He keeps gasping your name in between moans, his jaw lolling open as he pants for breath. “Oh, baby girl, you feel so good, so good for me. You like this?”

“Yes!” you wheeze, clinging to his shoulders as he rails you into the mattress. It’s better than you ever could have hoped for, and you’re nearly sobbing from the sheer sensation of it all. “Oh god, don’t stop!” You feel your abdomen drawing tight, heat beginning to build rapidly in the bottom of your belly, and you practically throw yourself down to meet his thrusts. “Please, I’m gonna cum, make me cum, Eiji!”

Kirishima practically snarls at that, his hand snaking down to your pussy even as he keeps rutting into you. His hand finds your clit and starts stroking at it hard and fast at a pace that matches his fucking. “Fuck yes, I wanna feel you cum on my cock.”

You know you’re starting to shake apart, his cock and his fingers too much for you. Your body is strung taut, your orgasm so close you can virtually taste it. As he feels you clamp down around him Kirishima lets out a whimpering moan, and with that you’re totally gone, head slamming back on the bed as you let out mindless, breathless little choking moans. It feels like your vision totally wipes out as you convulse in Kirishima’s arms, hips twitching wildly. 

When the euphoria of your orgasm finally subsides, you feel so totally fucked out that you hardly know which way is up. It takes you a moment to become aware of the way Kirishima is humping into you desperately now, hunkering over you and groaning. Feeling his cock slide in and out of your over-sensitive and still twitching pussy is almost too much, and you know you won’t be able to take much more of his relentless pounding. You clench around him as tight as you can and cup his sweaty face in your hands, smiling at the open-mouthed look of pure need he’s giving you. “Are you gonna cum inside me, Eiji?”

Apparently that was the correct thing to say, because you can see the moment that he hurtles completely over the edge. He shoves his cock as deep as he can get inside you and then he’s crying out as he begins to empty himself inside you. He keeps rocking, even though his cock is crammed as far into you as it’s possible to get, and you tremble and gasp as you feel his cum spraying inside you. It feels totally filthy, and there’s so much of it that you can feel it leaking out and down your ass even though Kirishima’s cock is still plugging you up. There’s so much cum that you actually start to wonder if your birth control is going to still be effective. You almost expect it to start coming out of your ears.

It seems like he’s cumming forever, and eventually he has to pull out because you’re just too full. As soon as his gradually softening cock is pulled free, it seems like a veritable bucketload of cum streams out of you and makes a mess of the bedcovers. It’s simultaneously really gross and really, really hot, and you don’t have the energy to unpack that so you just lay back and watch as Kirishima’s cock continues to dribble cum all over his legs and your abdomen. The swollen base of his cock is deflated now, and his dick eventually gives one last twitch and then he’s finished. 

He collapses on top of you, sweaty and soiled with his cum, but you don’t complain as he wraps you up in his arms and kisses your temples, murmuring soft, mindless praise into your hairline. “Are you okay?” he whispers, “Did I hurt you?”

You laugh a little, still winded. Your pussy is feeling achey from being stretched so wide, and you’re definitely going to have trouble walking tomorrow, but it’s the best kind of hurt imaginable. “You did everything just right.” you say, giving him a tired smile. “How was it?”

“If I could stay in your pussy forever, I would.” he says solemnly, the barest hint of a smile pulling at his lips.

You laugh properly at that, and roll over so that you’re lying across his chest. “Yeah? Well, I think you’ve just ruined me for all other cocks in the world. No one's ever gonna compare to how good yours feels.”

With your chin on his chest, you have a clear view of the way he flushes at your words, and the vulnerability that creeps into his expression as he looks at you. “Really?”

“I just came so hard it felt like the world was ending.” you grin at him, then press a teasing kiss to one of his pecs. “Yes, really.”

A smile breaks out on his face, toothy and dorky, as if he can’t believe his luck. “So… Would you want to do it again, maybe? Sometime?”

The smile you return is so wide it feels like it’s about to split your face. “Yeah, Eiji. Without question.”

It’s hard to kiss when you’re both grinning like total idiots, but the two of you make a valiant effort all the same. The ridiculous amount of cum painting the two of you is beginning to dry and flake off your skin, and it's definitely kind of gross but you’re so happy and sated and tired in that moment that you’re pretty sure nothing on earth could ruin the moment for you. Not even Bakugou when he comes pounding at the door and yelling obscenities in the form of noise complaints.

[marie-in-the-hallway]

Watermelon Sugar pt 1

wc: 2.3k

warnings: minor sexual content, swearing

...

Jenna doesn't know how her life came to be like this.

She was a good person; she had partied hard in uni, yes, but she studied hard enough to make up for it. She's nice enough to leave at least a twenty percent tip every time she gets the check, and certainly nice enough to drop coins in the tip jars of the baristas who make her coffee. She calls her mum a lot and she loves her sisters and she takes good care of her plant, a cactus she'd named Steve. She’s hilarious and witty, her friends love her, and she makes a decent enough living.

So it doesn't explain why she's lying on the floor, with Harry Styles, of all people, planking on top of her.

As in, seventeenth most influential person in London, pop-star-turned-rock-star Harry Styles. The same Harry Styles who has had countless model girlfriends, left, right and centre. One right now, in fact: Camille Rowe.  Also  the same Harry Styles who has been the subject of Jenna’s sex dreams since she was about eighteen.

(What can she say, she's consistent. The kid might change her look every few years but the libido wants what it wants. Or something.)

Anyway, the point is that, currently, Jenna is looking straight into Harry's gorgeous green eyes and she can feel the heat of Harry's body radiating onto hers. She can also feel one of Harry's soft curls brushing against her forehead, and she knows that if she looked down, she'd see Harry's pink lips, quirked amusedly, like Jenna is something of a particularly endearing animal.

In summary, Harry looks like something straight out of Jenna’s masterbating vault, and Jenna is especially thankful at this moment that she does not have a cock because it would be hard as a rod at this very moment. 

"Do you, uh, work out a lot?" She blurts out, her mouth temporarily disconnecting from her brain, and she watches as Harry blinks, his long lashes brushing the tops of her cheekbones.

There's a pause, and then she hears a snort.

"Is this a dating show, mate?" Nick Grimshaw, the twat, says, half-laughing from his seat at the radio console. He raises his voice in a poor imitation of Jenna, stuttering out a ‘do you, uh, work out a lot’ in between his giggles.

Jenna turns her head to look at him and scowls. "Shut up," she says, trying to ignore the cute way Harry is giggling on top of her. It doesn't really work, but at least she tried.

Nick raises his hands defensively. "Hey, I'm bringing us back on track. You're supposed to be asking him questions about his new album, not asking him if he works out. You're tiring out the little pop star there."

"Nah," Jenna hears Harry's low voice drawl from above her, and she turns her attention back to the hot boy on top of him. "`m not tired yet. Besides, I'm kind of enjoying the view." He shoots Jenna a cheeky wink, and Jenna feels her face flush.

"Okay," she says loudly, mostly for the benefit of herself. She vaguely wonders how red she looks on camera, and whether or not she can get the ground to swallow her whole right about now. Maybe she should retire after this. Radio 1 would just have to look for another person who won't choke in the vicinity of Nick's hairspray fumes.

Every day at one to four pm, Nick and Jenna host "The Future is Now", a radio programme where they play music, talk about celebrity gossip and tease each other. It's supposedly nothing special, just two childhood friends making fun of each other and making fun of celebrities and their drama and occasionally talking about football, but apparently their banter has made it the most popular rated programme on BBC Radio 1. So popular that a few months ago, their producer sat them down and told them to "come up with more shenanigans", an order Jenna was happy to comply with. Her and Nick have then proceeded to do almost everything, from innuendo bingo with a twist to organizing a huge water fight in Radio 1.

Their latest shenanigan is interviewing their celebrity guests in the weirdest way they can, and last time Nick had interviewed Taylor Swift through trying to interpret her answers through drawing. It was massively funny, a huge failure, and also very exhausting, according to Nick, because who knew that Taylor was such a terrible artist?

Which is also why it's Jenna’s turn to do the interviewing this time.

However, she's ninety-nine point nine percent sure that Nick did this on purpose. Drunk Jenna might have let it slip a few weeks back that she has a not-so-small crush on a certain very famous Harry Styles, and Nick, because he was apparently close friends with Harry, invited him to plank over Jenna.

Jenna’s going to light a match near his hair and watch his twatty quiff burn down.

"Okay," Jenna says again, because no matter how much she wants to go back in time and ensure Nick was never born, Harry Styles with his hair and his dimples is still above her, smiling like it takes no effort to plank like this at all. He's the most attractive man Jenna has ever seen in her entire life. "We're going to have a quickie--" and she resolutely ignores Nick's sniggers from the console and the way his face heats up, "--which is like a lightning round of questions, until you feel you need to lower yourself down or until the timer runs out. Alright?"

Harry nods at her, grinning even wider, and Jenna decides to pin her focus on Harry's left dimple so as not to be distracted by the rest of his face.

"Nachos or Tacos?" She asks, starting the game immediately.

"Tacos."

"Red or Blue?"

"Blue."

"Favorite emoji to use in a text message?"

"The tongue and the peach." Jenna ignores the almost-obscene way Harry says it. She also ignores Nick's snorts from the table. She can do this. She just needs to ignore the way she’s wet from this small interaction and get this done like the professional she is, before she can go home and masterbate herself away to oblivion.

 "Favorite song from your new album?"

"Um," Harry says, and Jenna feels his forearms shift from where it's beside her head. "Watermelon Sugar?"

"Are you asking me or telling me?" Jenna asks Harry's left dimple. See, she can be normal.

"Watermelon Sugar." Harry repeats, much firmer. "It's about oral sex."

Jenna’s eyes fly off Harry's left dimple and into his eyes. "I don't think you can say that on radio."

Harry just shrugs, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. "Sorry."

"Cheeky," Jenna mutters, before plunging on. "Most important feature of your ideal girlfriend?"

"I don't know if I can say it on radio," Harry shoots back almost immediately, his smile widening.

Somewhere from his place on the radio console, Nick cackles. Jenna hopes he chokes on his own saliva.

"Something radio friendly, then," Jenna answers, keeping her voice level.

"Well," Harry drawls out, seemingly lost in thought, "I'm much more of a bum kind of guy," and Nick's cackles get louder and louder. "I like a nice, firm, handful of bum. But if it has to be radio friendly, maybe the smile."

"I'm going to get suspended because of you," Jenna deadpans.

"`s the truth." Harry smiles innocently. He shifts on his forearms again, and his long curl brushes over Jenna’s eye. His cross necklace also falls out of his shirt, brushing against the hollow of Jenna’s throat.  "Do you like bums, Jenna?"

"I like mums? I like my mum," Jenna says absently, half blinded by Harry's curl. She feels more than hears Harry laugh from above her, his abs quivering from above her body. Which, hey. Why is Harry laughing at her? She’s just trying to keep this show together, for the sake of her job and her listeners and because Nick is a useless idiot.

She clears her throat. "Ideal date?" She asks, blinking her eye against Harry's rogue curl. She focuses on it, tries to get it off her eye with just the power of her blinks and her eye lid muscles. It doesn't really work.

Harry wiggles his eyebrows above her, and Jenna feels a slight sense of dread settle against him.

"A walk on the beach, then a candlelit dinner, then back to my place--"

"Favorite hobby?" Jenna interrupts, because she cannot do this. She can't. She’s two innuendos away from being soaked through her pants, and she’s positive there will be a wet spot if Harry continues to imply vaguely sexual things.

"I like to bake," Harry answers easily, as if he wasn't on the verge of saying obscene things a few seconds before. Jenna hates him. Jenna also kind of wants to suck his dick.

"Last thing that made you cry?"

"Um," Harry furrows his brow and bites at his bottom lip. Jenna can't stop staring. "I...fell?"

"Fell where?" Jenna asks.

"I was getting out of the shower," Harry answers slowly, still seeming deep in thought. Jenna tries not to imagine a naked Harry, with little droplets sliding down his skin. She mostly fails. "Then I, like, slipped and fell. There were a few tears."

Jenna makes a noise of sympathy, her eyes glued to Harry's lips. "What did you hurt?"

"My bum."

That makes Jenna tear her eyes away from Harry's lips and into his green eyes, which are already shining with mirth. "What is it with you and bums?"

"I told you, I'm a bum man." Harry winks. He shifts on his forearms, and Jenna realizes that the planking must already be taking a toll on him. He doesn't seem close to giving up though, and Jenna admires his determination. Her sex drive admires the rippling of the muscles in Harry's forearms and the strength of his core.

"You seem to be a little bum crazy to me."

"Heyyy," Harry says, a cute little pout making its way onto his face. "Only for certain bums. The nice ones."

Jenna doesn't answer. "Favorite app on your phone?"

"Instagram."

"Last photo you took?"

"It was, like, a photo of my sister's dog in, um, space buns."

"Space bums, nice," Jenna says, because she can. She might get suspended from radio for a few days, but she's already aroused on camera and they've been talking bums since a while ago, so.

"Yep," Harry says, playing along. "They were out of this world."

Jenna opens her mouth to ask another question when her phone starts ringing, signalling the end of their quickie. Harry unceremoniously drops himself down, his entire body now in contact with Jenna’s own. Jenna can feel her skin heat up from where Harry's touching her, their entire lower half aligned. She shifts in surprise, discovering Harry’s (not so) little problem, so Jenna just. Speaks.

“Did you know the average whale penis is ten feet long?” 

She wonders if she can probably retire gracefully and run away to Guam.

Nick is still cackling like a madman but ten times harder. Jenna doesn't think he's even stopped to take a breath since he started.

Good, she thinks viciously. Maybe he'll run out of oxygen.

"I did not," she hears Harry whisper to her, his voice almost drowned out by Nick's laughter.

"Fuck," Jenna whispers, without opening her eyes. "Leave me here to die." She can't believe she ended up here, embarrassed and horny in front of the guy she's been wanking to since she was eighteen. She doesn't think life can get much worse than this.

"It's okay, you know, I blurt out things all the time" Harry whispers, his breath ghosting over Jenna’s face. "Also, you're not allowed to say ‘cock’ on radio."

Oh, so now he's concerned about radio content. What is Harry Styles.

"Please do not try to make me feel better about this," Jenna says through her teeth, ignoring his second statement. They're going to get taken off air because of this interview, anyway. She raises an arm to cover her eyes. "Just....ignore it. Please."

Harry, because he's nice, doesn't say anything anymore, instead pulls himself off of Jenna, so that he's sitting on his knees beside Jenna on the carpeted floor. Jenna takes three deep breaths before she opens her eyes, sits up, and runs to the radio console, where Nick is still cackling obnoxiously. She lets Nick take care of the goodbyes, shakes Harry's hand once and refuses to meet his eyes, and doesn't say anything until Harry has left the room and Watermelon Sugar is playing on air.

"So?" Nick hedges, nudging Louis with an elbow. "That was fun right?"

"I'm going to murder you in your sleep," Jenna answers, glaring. "That was fucking humiliating."

"Oh come on, it wasn't that bad," Nick says, dismissively, wrapping an arm around Jenna’s shoulder. Jenna wants to saw it off his arm.

"You're not the one who started talking about whale cock in front of like, three cameras," Jenna hisses back at him.

"You could barely hear it anyway," Nick says, rolling his eyes.  He pinches Jenna’s shoulder, waggling his eyebrows . "But Harry, eh? That was some intense flirting you had going on there."

"Nick," Jenna says, deadpan. "He's not single. You should know this, he's one of your best friends."

Nick frowns, but before he can open his mouth to say something, Jenna beats him to it. "Never mind him. He's probably going to get us suspended anyway, with all his obscene answers and talk about bums."

Nick cackles again, with his head thrown back. "That was pretty funny."

"Yeah, well let's see how funny it is when we get taken off air for a week straight," Jenna answers, rolling her eyes, before reaching over to queue up the next song.

Nick, the twat, just keeps laughing.

[carryonsimoncarryonbaz]

Chapter Nine of Can’t Find My Way Home is posted! Read the whole fic at Ao3!

Chapter Nine

Baz

I don’t think I’ve ever been happier to be in a cramped economy seat. I’m reveling in it. I’m basking in the notion that Simon had us moved because he wanted us to be closer to one another.

Which we are. He pushed the armrest up out of the way almost as soon as he was seated. He’s leaning up against me, the warmth of his body soaking into mine, his head resting on my shoulder.

I think he’s nuzzling my neck.

“’M glad you still smell like this.”

“What?” I keep saying that today. I’m almost sure I’ve tumbled into some alternate dimension where Simon actually craves my companionship and I’m incapable of articulate speech.

He nudges my shoulder, face still buried in my neck. “You smell the same. As you did at school. I always liked it.”

My heart thumps in my chest. I think it’s these small admissions, more than the kissing even, that make me concede this is real. I’d never have had the audacity to dream these up.

I’ve answered more than my fair share of questions today, most of them inadvertently. I have a few of my own for Simon. I’m not sure I’m as brave as he is about asking them though.

I rub circles on the back of his hand with my thumb. I like everything about this seating arrangement. The way his leg is pressed against mine, how he’s leaning into me, the way our fingers intertwine. Christ, did he just kiss me?

He’s trailing kisses just below my ear, in the middle of a crowded flight. My eyes dart over his head to look around, but no one is paying us any mind. It probably just looks like Simon’s passed out on my shoulder. I should . . . I don’t know what I should do.

I close my eyes and let my head tilt back. I’m should just let myself enjoy it, I think.

Simon

He tenses for a moment and I wonder if he’s going to pull away. But then Baz sighs ever so softly and lets his head fall back. I can’t help smiling against his skin as I feel the tension seep out of him.

This is more like it.

I let my lips skim down his neck, breathing in the scent of him, feeling the racing of his pulse against my mouth.

I wonder if this counts as distraction.

Baz

The arrival of the drink cart puts a stop to Simon’s exploration of that surprisingly sensitive spot behind my left ear.

Probably a good thing. I was ready to grab his face and snog him senseless. I’ve lost all sense of self-control when it comes to him. Too many years of pent-up longing.

Simon doesn’t let go of my hand when he lifts his head to give his order to the steward. I miss the solid weight of him on my shoulder instantly.

There are snacks, so his attention is instantly diverted to the little packet of Biscoff cookies the steward hands him. I don’t know how Simon does it but somehow he manages to get two for himself from the drink cart bloke. I narrow my eyes at the man, but he’s already moving down the aisle.

I can be as territorial as Simon, it seems.

“I love these.” He’s already torn into the first packet and a small shower of crumbs drifts over his shirt, the tray table and my arm. Simon crumples the empty packet and starts in on his second one. I watch, because I can now. His Adam’s apple bobs in that familiar way and I’m mesmerized by the sight of it.

I notice a crumb at the edge of Simon’s lip and I want to lick it off. Christ, I’m pathetic.

He turns to grin at me and it’s typical Simon—lopsided smile, food stuck in his teeth, that crumb precariously perched on his lip. I can’t help myself. I lean in and kiss him (just a brush of lips to his cheek) (I don’t want the remains of his biscuit in my mouth) (I don’t lick the crumb off) (I still want to).

He grins even more, and then his eyes settle on the lonely biscuit packet on my tray table. “You going to eat that?”

“You are incorrigible.”

“You like me anyway.” His face moves closer.

I most certainly do. I’ve been hopelessly in love with this idiot for almost a decade, and for the first time I don’t feel anything but elation at the thought.

A part of me is still frightfully mortified that he knows. But mostly I’m so fucking relieved at not having to conceal my regard for him anymore.

It was exhausting. Soul-crushing. Heart-breaking every single time I would think one thing in my head and then force myself to say an awful thing instead. Every time I would want to reach out to comfort him and make myself walk out of the room instead.

Simon squeezes my fingers. “It can’t take that much mental effort to decide if you want to share your biscuits with me.” He waggles his eyebrows in an utterly ludicrous fashion. He’s spent years trying to lift his brow at me and it always ends up looking ridiculous. I love it.

“Oh, fine, take them then, if you must, you insatiable muppet.”

He waggles his eyebrows again, but it looks far more suggestive this time. “I’ll share them with you.”

I’d share anything with him.

Simon

I don’t actually mean to eat all of Baz’s biscuits, but I do.

He just rolls his eyes at me. “Typical.” But there’s a smile on his face when he says it. I’m not used to Baz being all soft. I like it, don’t get me wrong. It’s just a bit jarring still. This Baz though, the one who’s sharp and soft, his edges blunted but still keen? I could . . . I could fall pretty hard for him.

I have fallen hard for him. I know it’s fast—forty-eight hours and then some—but when you’ve known someone for half your life, when their face, their mannerisms, their moods, are as familiar as your own? It’s less falling hard and more recognizing that I’ve been probably been into him for far longer than I care to admit.

Which brings me to the questions still lingering in my head. I’m thick enough that I only really came to terms with it the other day (probably in denial for far longer) (I just don’t like to think about things that perplex me).

Baz has known for a long time. I suppose I understand why he never said anything. I mean, I was dating Agatha. And I pretty much told everyone I hated him. Told him too.

He said it back, the wanker, even if he didn’t mean it. Maybe he did mean it. Maybe he hated me for hating him. I don’t know. I should just ask him.

How awkward would that be? No. I can’t really ask.

I want to.

I’m not going to ask.

So of course, I ask.

“Baz.”

“Yes?”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

He presses his lips together. He’s not even going to pretend he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. It’s this kind of behaviour that really throws me off. I know how to pester him, prod him, annoy the fuck out of him. But I’m a bit at a loss when he reads me so easily and follows my train of thought without even trying.

Baz sighs, closes his eyes and tilts his head back. “What would I have said, Simon? You were straight, last I knew, in love with the most beautiful girl at school, and you absolutely loathed me. Telling you would have served no purpose. You probably would have thrown me down the stairs.”

“I would not.”

“You say that now. I don’t know what you would have done, honestly, and I was too cowardly to risk finding out. It was easier to pine in private and aggravate you in public.”

I don’t really know what to say to that. Baz’s grey eyes are on me now and that crease is back on his forehead. The one I want to smooth away with my fingertips. Or my lips. Either. Both.

His fingers grip tightly to mine as his eyebrows draw even closer together. “When. . . how . . .” He stops, tilts his head back and groans. “I cannot believe I’m unable to string a single sentence together.” He mutters the words but I’m close enough to hear them.

I lean closer still, press my leg against his in solidarity. “What?”

“When the fuck did you stop being straight?”

Ah. I’d been expecting that. I’m not really sure of the answer myself.

It’s not something I actively thought about when I was at Watford. I mean, I thought about sex, of course, but not so much about my sexuality. I knew that things were ok with Agatha, that I loved her but not perhaps the way I’d always envisioned I should.

Intimacy felt awkward, forced. Not for lack of trying, but for lack of follow-through. Or passion, I suppose. It felt nice to cuddle, to kiss her, to have someone to hold. But neither of us ever pushed past that.

I missed that, when we broke up. I missed having someone to be with that way. Penny’s my best friend, and she’s a first-rate hugger, but it’s not the same.

I tried not to think about it at uni. Schoolwork doesn’t come as easily to me as it does to Penny. Or Baz. I needed to keep my focus on that. But I couldn’t help the fact that I was noticing people. Girls, yes.

But men too.

I mean, I’ve always had an appreciation for fit blokes, but I never really stopped to think through what that might mean. And then I found my gaze drawn to a bloke second year at uni. Fit. Tall. Darkhaired.

Yeah, he reminded me a bit of Baz. I can admit that now. Not as smart. Not as funny. But still enough to capture my attention.

Figured out kissing a guy’s not that different from kissing a girl. Fumbled around a bit. But nothing serious. Nothing long term. Not the time or inclination for that.

Baz is still staring at me and I realize I haven’t answered him. “Second year at uni, I think. I mean, I might have had an idea before then but I didn’t really think about it.”

There’s a tension that goes out of him with my words. “You didn’t know at Watford then?”

I shake my head. “Nah. Maybe that I had an inclination, but I didn’t let myself dwell.”

“Dwell? Dwell on what?”

On the way his fucking shampoo smelled. How he’d lift his jersey to wipe the sweat off his forehead on the football pitch. The way he looked so soft for those brief moments before he fully came awake in the morning.

The examples fill my mind. How the fuck did I not realize this years ago?

Fuck. I was such an idiot. You don’t have thoughts like that if you don’t fancy someone.

“On you, you wanker.” Baz’s eyes widen at my words. “On the way your hair would fall just so on your forehead.” I keep thinking of more. It’s like a dam of ideas has burst open in my brain.  An entire list of things about Baz that I find endlessly fascinating. “How fucking graceful you were on the pitch.” Fuck it all. “The scent of you.”

His lips quirk up at the corners. “You couldn’t have let me in on this back then? We’ve wasted quite a few years here.”

“Don’t remind me,” I snap. I’m not mad at him. I’m exasperated with myself. I’d tamped this all down, shut it away, until Ebb’s words had brought me up short.

“It’s alright.” Baz’s voice is soft. “You figured it out eventually, didn’t you?”

“That I did. Better late than never I suppose.”

Baz pulls me towards him and presses his forehead to mine. “Much better.”

Baz

I’d frozen for an instant, when Simon was speaking. I’d been paralyzed by the thought that he’d known when he was at Watford too. That I’d fucked it all up royally by being such a prick to him back then.

I did fuck it up by being a prick at school but it chilled me to consider he might have had feelings for me back then and I’d driven him off with my angst-ridden shitty coping mechanisms. Not that I’m letting myself off the hook for being a right arse all those years, but at least I didn’t break his heart.

I let him break mine.

But I don’t care. It’s worth the misery of those years to have this now. I wouldn’t have known how to cope if he’d returned my feelings then. I’d have fucked it up somehow, knowing me.

I came out eighth year, not because I really wanted to but because I needed to let Wellbelove know there was no chance of there ever being an “us.” I couldn’t lead her on like that. It wasn’t fair.

I wanted to let her down gently, to let her know that it was me, not her. Honesty was the kindest option. It was more considerate than humiliating her by shunning her affections publicly. She didn’t deserve that.

I can’t imagine how things might have been if Simon had made his realization earlier. I won’t. It’s pointless to go down the ‘what if’ rabbit hole. I’m eternally grateful for a second chance and mildly surprised I haven’t found a way to fuck it up yet.

I wrap my arm around Simon’s waist and lean against the window, pulling him so his body rests on my chest. He leans back into me, his head falling onto my shoulder again. It feels so natural to have him there. I kiss his bronze curls and breathe in the scent of him.

“I’ve never been so fucking grateful for shit weather.” I whisper the words into his hair. I can just glimpse the smile on his face. I rest my head on his and feel his body relax into mine.

I’m not sure which one of us falls asleep first.

[bughead-fic-request]

Seven Minutes in Purgatory: with your enemy who you have slight sexual tension and you figure out if you are going to fight or make out

Seven Minutes in Heaven

Summary: Betty finds herself playing a round of seven minutes in heaven after lying about her crush for years.

Words: 2,102

Warnings: A really tasteless joke about Sylvia Plath, spoilers for the graphic novel The Watchmen, kissing and fluff

A/N: Sorry nonnie, this isn’t a fighting kind of fic. This feels like it could be an AU outtake from The Stacks. I’m also experimenting with a clean cut version of Jughead. This isn’t the best, I’m not happy with the ending but I’m working shit out and I also edited this myself so there is probably errors. 

Betty Cooper did not want to be in Archie Andrews basement playing seven minutes in heaven. She felt like she was too old for this silly game. They were seniors in high school, most of them were already having sex, a little kissing was nothing.

But Betty was not like most of her senior classmates. She knew that kissing whoever she had to kiss that night would be a very big deal considering there was only one person in that circle she really wanted to kiss.

She had done a good job of hiding her feelings for the past three and a half years. At any sleepover she found herself at she always admitted to having a big fat crush on Archie; the gorgeous, red-headed quarterback that took every girls breath away. It was common knowledge that Betty was into Archie. Quiet, kind, blonde Betty Cooper loved the hottest guy in school. It was a joke and Betty was fine with that just as long as no one knew who she truly pined for.

Archie loved to tease Betty about it and he loved the way her gaze made him feel. Betty may not have been popular but she was beautiful. The type of girl all the guys ignored but everyone secretly had wet dreams about. Archie loved flaunting himself in front of her. He liked stringing her along, making her squirm, making her sweat whenever he was near.

But Betty was a very good liar.

She knew what the girls at her school were like; they were cruel and would tease, taunt and torture her about her crush. So Betty had to hide the truth, make something up to get them off her back but the truth was she had no interest in Archie.

Her real crush was the raven haired best friend of said quarterback, Jughead Jones.

Archie and Jughead’s friendship made no sense. Jughead didn’t play sports, he wasn’t vulgar, he wasn’t obnoxious but instead was a straight A student like Betty. He was the head editor for the school newspaper, head of the debate team and student body president. He also volunteered at an animal shelter part time.

Ever since his father, Forsythe Pendleton, turned his troubled life around and became mayor of Riverdale, Jughead had a dream of becoming the president. He had a knockout smile, dressed well and had a magnetic charisma. It was probably the reason Archie and he got along so well. People were drawn to both of them but for very different reasons.

Betty’s crush on Jughead didn’t come out of no where. She always noticed how handsome he was but had no reason to ever speak to him. Not until one afternoon she saw him at the Riverdale Public Library.

It was the beginning of their sophomore year, he was sitting at the same table as her on the opposite side and at the other end. Betty had finished her homework a while ago and was reading for pleasure.

Jughead was reading The Watchmen. He was hunched over the book, his arms straining against his dress shirt. He had been working out with Archie and it was starting to show. His hair had fallen out of place and it bobbed in front of his face while he took in the material.

“Are you liking that?” Betty asked, finally gaining the courage to do so.

Jughead startled and looked at Betty with wide eyes. “What?” He replied.

“Are you liking The Watchmen?” She asked again clarifying .

Jughead flashed a dazzling smile. “Um,” he ran his hand through his hair pushing it all back into place. “I like it but I think I’m too much of an optimist to identify with it. I think there are other ways to unite us and make the world better.” His smile grew. “It’s still really interesting though.”

“I wish I could be as optimistic as you. I think Moore’s right, we won’t stop trying to kill each other until there is a threat bigger than each other.” Betty looked away from him and wished the creeping flush in her cheeks would go away.  

“What are you reading?” He asked move down a chair.

A giggle escaped Betty’s lips. “The Bell Jar.” She looked over at him and laughed.

“I hear that Sylvia Plath has a very sunny disposition.” Jughead joked.

“Yeah but just don’t leave her alone in the kitchen.” Betty immediately made a noise of disgust and her whole body flinched at her stupid joke. “That’s so offensive. I don’t know why I said that.” She shook her head bringing her hand to her cheek to soothe her embarrassment.

He laughed. “I’m Jughead Jones.” He said holding out his hand to her moving down to sit across from her.

“I know.” She grinned. “I’m Betty Cooper.” She took his hand in hers.

“I know, you are the only person who has a better grade point average than me. If it wasn’t for you I’d be at home in my hot tub with all the honeys.” He made the same face of disgust Betty had made earlier. “I don’t have any honeys. Women aren’t objects. I’m sorry.” He looked away from her his cheeks turning an adorable shade of pink.

Betty laughed and that’s where their friendship began. They didn’t really acknowledge each other at school and Betty tried to ignore all the girls that flirted with him. She tried to not to feel hurt when he took other girls to dances and she never asked him about the only girlfriend he ever had, Ethyl Muggs. She couldn’t be jealous; she spent years in silence when she could have easily said something.

They carried on their library friendship, helping each other with homework, exchanging favorite books and eventually talking about their other likes and personal lives.

“You know I can help you with Archie, you know that right?” Jughead told her as they looked for a book the librarian swore they had.

“I know,” she rolled her eyes. “You’ve offered many times.”

“I know but it must suck pining over someone for years and nothing ever happening.” He told her pulling out a book to look at its cover and putting it back.

“It’s okay, I’m not really interested in Archie anymore. I got over it.” She crouched down and raised a book up to him with an interesting cover. “Have you read this?” She asked.

Jughead shook his head. “So you’re just over him, just like that?” He questioned.

“Well, if I’m being honest, I never liked him. I just said that to get Veronica and her ghouls off my back.” Betty stood up and threw her arms up in frustration. “It’s not here.” She placed her hands on her hips.

“So you’ve had no crushes all through high school?” Jughead took a step towards her pushing up the sleeves of his shirt.

“I didn’t say that.” Betty glared at him.

“Do I know him?” He teased with a cocked eyebrow.

“You don’t not know him.” Betty tried to walk past him but he caught her by the wrist.

“Who is it Betty?” He interrogated.

She could feel her cheeks start to grow hot. “It doesn’t matter, it’s not a big deal.” She shook her head.

“Is it me?” He joked poking her in the side.

Betty looked away from him and her entire face went red.

Jughead read her reaction and his demeanour changed. “Is it me?”

Betty shifted uncomfortably in the aisle trying to break away from him. “Jug, please. It’s not,” she sighed. “I’ve dealt with it for this long, I know you’re not into me. Its fine.” She smoothed out her ponytail still not looking at him.

“Bets.” He whispered, wrapping his arm around her waist pulling her flush against him.

She finally looked at him with confusion in her eyes as she tried to understand what he was doing.

He took in the look on her face and leaned in, his lips lightly brushing against hers.

“I found it!” The librarian, Mrs. Downey, exclaimed coming around the corner.

Betty and Jughead stepped away from each other awkwardly rubbing the back of their necks. “Thanks so much, Mrs. Downey.” Jughead took a step forward and grabbed the book from her as Betty fled, gathering her things and leaving the library as fast as she could.

That was a week ago and now Jughead was sitting across from her while Veronica Lodge taunted her, encouraging her to spin the bottle.

With a sigh Betty leaned forward and spun the bottle praying that it would land on anyone other than Archie. Seven minutes alone with Cheryl Blossom would be better than her arrogant pretend crush.

Betty closed her eyes and took a swig of her beer regretting to agree to come, regretting to agree to play the game. She heard the bottle stop and Archie laughed.

“Sorry Betty, these lips are going to have to elude you for another round. My boy Jug is just gonna have to do.” Archie teased.

Betty opened her eyes and looked up to see Jughead making his way across the circle, his hand outstretched to her. “Lets go.” He said motioning his head towards the old wood panelled closet in the 70’s styled basement.

Betty took his hand and headed over to the closet handing her half finished Corona to Veronica.  Jughead ushered her in before him and closed the door.

They stared at each other in the faint glow of the low watt bulb that swung overhead. They both took deep breaths, the tension between them palpable.

“Hi.” Betty said.

“Hi.” Jughead replied as he took a step towards her, staggering for just a moment before he pushed her against the wall, his lean, warm, muscular body pressing against hers as their lips met.

Betty breathed the kiss in, her palms flat against the wall as his hands rested on her hips, his thumbs sneaking under her shirt rubbing small circles into the bare skin there. He tasted like the rum he had been drinking and he smelled like the Old Spice body wash he had been using since they met.

Jughead broke the kiss, catching his breath and resting his forehead against hers. “I have wanted to do that for so long.” He smiled.

“For the whole week you’ve known I liked you?” Betty joked.

He looked at her. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since you told that stupid Sylvia Plath joke all those years ago.” He admitted.

“What about Ethyl? What about the girls you’ve dated?” She asked trying to catch her breath.

“As much as I wish I hadn’t done this, I dated them to dull my want for you. It never worked, that’s why none of my relationships worked out.” He admitted.

Betty’s eyes went wide. “Why didn’t you say anything?” He questioned.

“Because I thought you were into Archie.” He shrugged.

Her head fell back and she let out a growl of frustration. “I gotta worse at lying.” She reprimanded herself. She righted herself and looked at him again, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him toward her.

They kissed, his lips were slightly chapped from the cold weather but still felt perfect against hers. Their hands roamed over each other’s bodies innocently as the realization that this was finally happening set in for both of them. He pushed himself closer to her, nudging her knees apart with his own, edging closer to a spot where no other person had ever touched her.

“Jug, I’m a - I mean I haven’t.” Betty began to stutter.

Jughead couldn’t help the laugh that escaped his lips. “Betty, we have like 45 seconds left in this closet, that’s not enough time to do that.”

Betty’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Cheryl said it only takes about 30 seconds.”

“Well, I feel bad for Cheryl cause she’s been having some terrible sex.” He joked.

“And you’re not a-“ Betty trailed off.

Jughead shook his head. “No, Ethyl.”

Betty nodded and tilted her face back up to kiss him just as the door flew open and Archie, Veronica and Cheryl stood at the threshold.

Betty and Jughead looked over at them slowly, still embraced. “Hey guys, what’s up?” Jughead said.

“What the fuck bro? She’s into me!” Archie exclaimed.

“I’m really not.” Betty told him. “Sorry bro.” She added with a wink.

Jughead grinned. “If you guys could give us another seven minutes that would be great.” He said leaning over to close the door and he and Betty picked up were they left off.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Plagues Against Mankind That We Shouldn’t Have To Deal With At This Point What The Huck

When your hair looks beyond amazing but no matter how many pictures you take it looks bad on film so you’re left alone in your room at 4:43 am suffering because you’ll now never have photographic evidence of the time your hair looked like it was styled by the angel’s themselves just in time for you to rush off to the Royal Ball. Only you will ever have this knowledge. You know the hair will be a mess by the time you see another human being again. Cursed.

Un-skippable ads in the MIDDLE of videos. what the hell.

When you order a Bloody Mary but it just tastes like straight tomato juice and nothing else

When you’re romantically frustrated and No One Wants To Take One For The Team And Just Date You Already

M. Night Shyamalan announcing a live action Avatar: The Last Airbender Two in 2017 the Year the Lord Abandoned Us, Apparently

The unseen forces that walk and jump on your roof all night long. They sound too heavy to be squirrels or raccoons. You never see anything up there when you check outside. You go back inside and the noises immediately resume, only this time you can now hear them laughing at you. Why Cant The Invisible Edgelords Remain Calm

Those birds that just dive right in front of your moving car

Owls in places and times where there Shouldn’t Be Owls

Donald Trump

When the dude living in your walls won’t stop blasting his techno bop music 

Having to use your rock pet to kill attacking bugs because you have no other means of defense 

the fact that I don’t know how to access podcasts and if I ask I’ll sound stupid

When your glasses are always smudged or dirty no matter what the hell you do seriously how the hell has no one invented something to stop this yet

When the Slurpee machines are always out of blue raspberry 

When people reference ‘the office’ while talking to you but you don’t get the joke because you’ve never seen ‘the office’ and when you tell them that you’ve never seen ‘the office’ they look at you as if you personally skinned their great grandmother alive

That...the fricking,,,,,,warm thing in the air that makes my body moist. Why that there. unnecessary attack from the planet. why. I want sweaters not sweat 

the fact that I Have No One To See Spider-Man:Homecoming With And I Am Distressed

When the wild rabbits don’t pick up on your psychic communication that you are one of them and they run from you

When the wine is expired 

When your favorite flowers only bloom for like one week a year

The fact that you are currently not eating chocolate 

Donald Trump

The fact that there currently is not Buffalo Chicken Dip entering my body

Those people that walk up moving escalators 

The guy that dresses up as Sulley in Disney World that grabbed my ass when I took a picture with him

Every Villain Is Lemon 

When all of your facebook memories are boring or depressing

The Cicadas That Are Laying In Wait

Those people that are rude to waiters and waitresses 

When you wanna write something but you’re hit with the overwhelming feeling that no one will ever wanna read it so What’s The Point

Batteries dying

The Vampire That Twerks Behind You Every Time You Look In A Mirror But You Can’t See Him Because He’s A Vampire But You Have The Overwhelming Feeling Of Knowledge That There’s A Vampire Twerking Behind You

The fact that Owen Wilson will never truly know we Value Him

When you’re not even making noise but a random old man complains about how much noise you’re making

The fact that there isn’t a 24/7 Law and Order: SVU channel 

People who can’t make up their minds about Dr. Phil

Cramps

really just wanna circle back here to the fact that my hair looks amazing right now I look like a 16th century maiden who is escaping her tower to attend the ball where she must slay the beast to save the kingdom this is my authentic past life coming through to make my hair look effortlessly gorgeous but the camera is not cooperating and No One Will Ever Truly Know 

Good tv shows getting cancelled 

People that unironically wanna have sex with Bill Cipher 

Being awake at 5:36 in the morning

The glowing orb that refuses to move out of your sock drawer 

Those little green men that sometimes escape out of jars in your cabinets and you gotta battle them for dominance of your own kitchen or else they’ll add too much paprika to all your meals...like, what’s their deal?

cats that don’t love you back

papayas 

Clovers that don’t have four leafs 

When you have to have matching socks to look professional 

ageing 

the T-Rex that insists on stomping down the street every time you’re trying to sleep

Aliens being hidden by the government 

When you rhyme by accident 

When you try to rhyme on purpose but can’t think of anything 

The fact that I just had to google how to spell ‘rhyme’

Gender Stereotypes 

The decreasing firefly population 

7th graders that constantly stick their fingers through circles as a means of silently making sex jokes

Weeds that are taller than me I must be the Dominant Inconvenience

Fahrenheit vs Celsius

Telemarketers

Those guys that come up to your house to try to get you to buy Verizon Fios 

We’re Running Out Of Chocolate 

When John Oliver Steals Words Out Of Your Mouth Before You Can Even Think Them Like The Creature From Midnight

Zac Efron not showing up to the HSM 10th anniversary party

People who just really causally do splits or impossible stretches while your tensed up immobile ass is forced to watch

When You start doing squats but it starts making your butt get smaller and you grow distressed

People that are, like, unironically mean to other people. What the f o c k

All my socks developing holes in them

Crushes that go nowhere

the fact that no one ever thinks to respect the soft, gentle Molepeople that have been quietly helping our civilization along without reward for hundreds of centuries 

Werewolves getting mistaken for Skinwalkers 

The giant ball of flesh under the ocean that’s just waiting to destroy us all

People Who Don’t Get Your Sense Of Humor 

No one acknowledging your selfies

Hunters and Cryptozoologists not taking the hint that Bigfoot simply isn’t interested 

The fact I can’t figure out a clever way to end this post

Mankind Becoming the Plague Itself 

Conan O’Brien and his immense hidden power that everyone chooses to foolishly ignore. One day, he will reveal his true form and strike.

[retroreaderr]

UPDATED PROMPT LIST!!

Hello! Just thought we’d repost this for any new followers! I recently found the old link wasn’t working and I’m too lazy to fix it/bug widow to fix it so here we are! 

HERE is our fandom link! 

Person A is attractive, they know it, you know it, I know it, ask anybody and they’ll agree. They’re used to getting flirty comments and the general “oh geez what I would do to a body like that” and compliments on their conventionally attractive body parts. Person B gives Person A a compliment, but it catches them off guard because it isn’t “hey handsome/sexy” or something of the sort, it’s a genuine compliment on their personality/quirk they have that Person B enjoys. Person A is intrigued.

Person A constantly makes self-deprecating jokes, whilst Person B always responds with a soft “noo that’s not trueee”

Person A and Person B make a pact that if neither of them are married by 30, they will marry each other. Person B turns 30 tomorrow.

Person A and B are bored. They decide to throw things (eggs, pies, messy foods that smash on impact) at people from the top of a building. Person C is the next target, and Person B has a whole dozen of (thing) at the ready.

Person A takes Person B on a camping trip into the woods with a few friends. As they gather round the campfire and tell scary stories, Person A gets scared but doesn’t want to look weak in front of their friends. Person B notices and pretends to be scared so Person A can “make them feel safe” when in reality Person B is lowkey comforting Person A. Bonus points if they aren’t together yet.

Person A is super chill and friendly to everyone, until Person B is insulted/been rude to, then they turn into the Devil. Bonus points if Person A is like, a third of the size of Person B.

Person A and B are riding horses.

Person A and B are wholesomely cuddling 

Person A and B are not so wholesomely cuddling

Person A and B are wholesomely cuddling after a not so wholesome night

Person A: “You have a nice butt” Person B: “Thanks, I got it for my birthday.”

Person A constantly quotes Person B, but super out of context and it makes Person B sound like the horniest bastard. (Ex. A: “Like Person B said earlier, you’ve got to stroke it gently and don’t mind the hair.” B: “I WAS TALKING ABOUT PETTING MY HORSE.”)

Person A and B had a rather heart wrenching breakup months ago. Whilst out one day, Person A sees Person B talking to their friends wearing an article of Person A’s clothing that went missing right before their break up. Person A smiles sadly and let’s Person B keep it.

Person A never gives Person B flowers, instead Person A gives Person B really pretty rocks. When Person B asks why, Person A responds “they’re beautiful, and they last longer.”

Person A, B and C are in a situation where they have to leave all their weapons. Person A drops a pocket knife and a butter knife. But, Person B starts off with taking a few from their sleeves, then from their pockets, and etc. It goes on for sometime and Person A is almost breaking down in laughter while Person C is watching in terror.

Person A and B are in a fight. Person A: “You know what, suck my dick.” Person B: “I have, 10/10 would recommend.” Bonus points if they’re in public.

Person A takes Person B on a romantic date. Instead of eating opposite ends of a pasta noodle and meeting in the middle for a kiss, they use a baguette and have to get through it without laughing because Person B is super hungry and noshing down hardcore on the baguette and Person A is suggestively raising an eyebrow. (Or, Person A didn’t think through how easily you can get filled eating bread and they stop halfway through because they’re stomachs are fuLL)

Person A and Person B are lost and are getting into an argument, thing is Person B really can’t hear Person A well. Person A: “That direction!” Person B: “What erection?”. Bonus points if Person A points towards Person C and Person C quickly looks down to check if they actually do have an erection. Bonus Bonus points if Person C is a girl, but still checks just in case.

Person A is injured, and is only upset about it because it makes cuddling with Person B comfortably difficult.

Person A is a magician and they’re alone with person B and person A is like “I have some spicy stuff for u ; )” and person B gets all excited, but then person A pulls out a jalapeno out of B’s sleeve. Bonus points if Person B is excited by jalapenos.

Person A and Person B are spending the night together for the first time. Person B can’t help from giggling at Person A’s pajamas. Decide why.

Person A being so use to Person B being there that when they’re away they put their arm around the place Person B is normally sat at.

Person A, B, C and D all go out camping.

Person A is having bad stomach pains/cramps and Person B is laying beside them rubbing their tummy to make them feel better.

Person A saving Person B from getting trapped under frozen lake.

Person A and C are traveling. They pick up Person B as a hitchhiker.

She looked fiercely into his eyes, the wind blowing her hair dramatically, and with an air of confidence she said “Fuck that shit”

“So what if I broke my arm, I will fight them.”

Kissed them whilst stealing their wallet

“I’m pretending to be your significant other because you looked really uncomfortable with that stranger at the bar hitting on you”

“The sun hasn’t even come up yet and you’re asking me to do what now?”

“Oh, I promise I’m not staring. I’m just..no don’t leave-!”

“Feel free to admire my beauty"

"If I was fishing for compliments, I certainly wouldn’t be using your pond.”

33%

“Mm. Moist cake."

"WhAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T EAT YOUR MUFFIN?”  

She danced like there was no one watching. But everyone was watching her. And she looked like a dumbass.

“Put. The child. Down."

"Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, bitchy and the beast."

"I’m sorry, miss…um, there’s a um..there’s something in your..oh no."

"Quit harshin’ my mellow, bro.”

I got stuck in a Port-A-Potty and was rescued by a hot stranger

Two frequent dog park goer’s find their dogs have fallen in love. Also one dog knocked the other up and they’ve now got five puppies to deal with.

You’ve come into my bar every-night for the past three years and ordered a water everytime

NoHomoBro

YesHomoBro

“War’s End” Kiss

Awkward kiss

Drunk/sloppy kiss

“Good Morning” kiss

“I almost lost you” kiss

Kiss on the nose/ear/neck/back

Needing to kiss to hide from someone

Surprised kiss

Jealous kiss. Bonus points if its on the neck/not the mouth

Kiss on a dare

Exhausted parents kiss

First kiss

Kiss at dusk/dawn/in a dream

Awkward teenage crush kiss

Returned from “the dead” kiss

“Sneaky” kisses in public places where they lowkey hope to be caught

Against a wall kiss

Snowday kiss

“I PASSED MY EXAM!” kiss

Moving around while kissing and making a mess but not caring because damn they’re good at kissing

Having a bet to see who can go the longest without wanting a kiss. Person A is appearing to hold strong, meanwhile Person B can’t help but notice the way that Person A bites at their lip when focusing and how plump it gets and holy cow they’re going to lose the bet.

“You really… That’s not exactly meant to be eaten.”

“Do you think you could just please go one day without pissing me off?”

“Just this once, okay?”

“You’re really soft.”

“May I have this dance?”

“Do you believe in love at first sight?”

“I waxed the floors, grab your fluffy socks.”

“My parents are coming over in 10 minutes, please put your trousers on.”

“This is probably a bad time, but… marry me?”

“Why wasn’t I invited to your wedding?”

“I think you might be pregnant.”

“You better have a good reason for waking me up at the ass-crack of dawn.”

“I wasn’t going to wait around for you forever.”

“They always make shower sex sound so appealing, but honestly it seems quite dangerous.”

“It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pick up line.”

Idiot jar au.

“I’m sorry, what were you saying? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”

“You got her pregnant! What were you thinking?”

“I was going to kiss him, but then my friend texted me about going to Taco Bell, and, well, there’s this cashier that works there who is way cuter, so I bailed on the rest of the date.”

Coffeeshop AU

Generic Soulmate’s AU

Tattoo of your Soulmate’s name on your wrist AU

You write on your skin it shows up on your soulmate’s skin AU

You keep aging until you meet your soulmate so you can grow old together AU

First words your soulmate ever says to you shows up on your skin on your 18th birthday AU

Everything is black and white until you meet your Soulmate AU

Trans reader

Gay reader

Male reader

Lesbian reader

Bisexual reader

Pansexual reader

[xofanfics]

Show & Tell

Genre: fluff, smut, slight angst

Pairing: Moon Taeil x Reader

*REQUESTED* “Hi! Can you do a scenario with taeil and you being acquaintances. You’re both shy so you get to know each other and become friends. He wants to get together with another girl so you help him with that by experimenting with intimate activities 👀but you realized you have feelings for him”

Summary: Taeil likes a girl that you have class with and, as your friend, he asks for advice. Being shy and slightly inexperienced, he asks you how to please a woman. So you decide that showing is better than telling.

The university was huge. You were sure to get lost. When your roommate suggested going to explore campus, you decided not to. That was a mistake and now you were lost, definitely lost. People walked past you, confident in their strides. You were sitting on one of the wooden benches, looking left and right, right and left. Cooper Building? Where the hell was that?

You were standing across from the cafeteria, but you had no idea how to get to class from here. Taking out your phone again, you looked at the campus map again. It made no sense to you. A few minutes later, you were still walking around campus. By now, it was pretty empty. The only people that were left were people who either didn’t have class or the people that were running late. You were positive that, right now, you looked like the clueless freshman that you were.

You thought of turning around and just heading back to your dorm, where it was safe, but you saw someone walking in your direction. He seemed like he might be an upperclassman or, at least, someone who knew where he was going. He wasn’t very tall, from what you could see, and he was carrying a guitar on his back. You hurried after him, to catch up, hoping that he was friendly and wouldn’t stare at you with a what-the-fuck-do-you-want face.

“Hey!” you called. He turned around, in search of the person that called him. His eyes landed on you and he slowly stopped in his tracks. You approached him with your best smile. “Hey. I’m sorry to bother you but do you know where the Cooper Building is?”

He nodded. “I’m actually going there now.” He shot you a small smile. “It looks like we’re both being late.”

You returned his smile. “Do you mind if I walk with you?” He shook his head and you walked side by side with your new acquaintance. “My name is Y/N.”

“Taeil,” he said. “Nice to meet you.”

You had the same class with your new friend, you realized once you got inside the building. So Taeil walked in first, with you behind him. As you feared, the whole class looked back to see who was entering the huge lecture hall. So did your teacher, for just a moment, before continuing with what she was saying. It didn’t seem to bother Taeil, but it definitely bothered you. You hated drawing attention to yourself and you could feel your face beginning to burn with embarrassment.

You followed Taeil to the back row, which was fairly empty. You sat in the seat at the end of the row. Luckily, your professor was just going over the syllabus and hadn’t started going over any material. You took out your notebook, pens, and highlighter, placing them onto the desk. From next to you, Taeil chuckled.

“What?”

He shook his head. “It’s nothing. You’re just…very prepared.”

You raised your eyebrows at him. “Is that a problem?”

He said, “I mean, no…but you don’t need all that stuff. It’s just an intro class.” He took his laptop out of his bag. “In this class, you don’t even need to take notes…She puts all of the notes online.”

“I like to write out my own notes,” you said, opening your notebook to a fresh page.

Taeil smiled. “You say that now, but you probably won’t feel like that in a few months when you start to get overwhelmed.” He paused. “I’m a junior. Trust me, I know…”

Taeil was right. You were halfway through the semester and you were already starting to feel overwhelmed. There was so much reading. So many discussion boards and reflection essays and peer reviews. You’d stopped taking notes in psychology a few weeks in. At this point, it was November. You were almost done with the semester, thankfully. Which meant that in about a month, you’d be done with class and ready to start your winter break.

Taeil lived in the area, you found out. Over the course of the semester, you had grown close to him. He was definitely your closest friend that you’d made so far. Unfortunately, the friend that he had been close with had transferred schools. Taeil was shy usually but, for some reason, he felt comfortable around you. You supposed that you were just friendlier and more open that the other people he met. It had been easy for you to become friends with him.

One day, he sat next to you in class like he usually did. He seemed to be waiting for something, you noticed, as he kept looking up and scanning through the classroom.

“What’s with you?” you asked.

He shook his head, but you knew him well enough to know that he was lying.

“Are you waiting for the Japanese international student to get here? Nami?”

His eyes widened at your response. “How do you know her name?”

You smiled. “‘Cause I have English with her. She’s a freshman, too. She’s really sweet.”

“You talked to her?”

You nodded. “She sits in the row in front of me. We talk sometimes…What, do you like her or something?”

He cleared his throat and opened up his laptop, mumbling, “Maybe…”

“You should ask her out,” you said. “I don’t think she has a boyfriend or anything like that.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It’s not, but it doesn’t hurt to try, right?”

He sighed and started browsing on the internet as the two of you waited for class to start. And, for fifty minutes, you were bored to death. You even found yourself dozing off a few times. Psychology was supposed to be interesting, yet you were falling asleep on Pavlov.

When class let out, he said, “She didn’t come today…”

“Maybe on Monday you can at least talk to her. Have you ever even had a conversation with her before?”

He shook his head as you walked out of the lecture hall. “She has no idea who I am…”

You were done with class for the day, thankfully. “Hey, are we still doing movies later?”

He said, “Yeah. Come over around nine. Is that good?”

You nodded. “Sounds good. I’ll see you then…”

And then you parted ways, you headed toward the freshman dorms while Taeil headed to the upperclassmen dorms.

You showed up at Taeil’s dorm with a bag of tortillas and a jar of salsa. He smiled upon seeing you through the glass doors. “Hey, Y/N,” he said, opening up the door to let you inside. You followed your friend through the student lounge, where a few students were watching a basketball game on the TV. As you walked by, you heard them arguing over which team would win. You couldn’t help but chuckle. Boys and their sports…

“Sorry,” he said, as you waited for the elevator. “They can get really obnoxious.”

“It’s no big deal. You should hear the girls on my floor on Friday nights…”

The elevator came, the doors opening to reveal a group of five students getting off. You followed Taeil onto the elevator and he pressed the button for the sixth floor.

“So are you actually going to talk to Nami?”

“Uh, I dunno, maybe.”

The elevator doors opened, arriving on Taeil’s floor. His suite was around the corner, where he shared with three other guys. Because he was a junior, he had the option to have his own room. If you had movie night, it would always be in Taeil’s room. That way you wouldn’t have to worry about bothering your roommate with the three of you being uncomfortable in one room. He opened the door with his key, leading you inside to his room. His room was in the back of the suite, away from his other roommates. You walked past his roommates’ closed bedroom doors.

“I think everyone is out right now,” he said. “It’s too quiet.” You chuckled as you recalled Taeil complaining about how loud they could get. You plopped down on his bed after you took your coat off, placing the chips and salsa on his nightstand. Taeil closed the bedroom door and turned his TV on. He grabbed the remote before sitting next to you, leaning on the wall. “I have a confession.”

You looked up at him as he flipped through the channels. “What?”

“The reason I’m nervous about talking to Nami is because I have no experience…”

You raised your eyebrows. “Really? I guess I just assumed…”

He shook his head. “I’ve never even dated anyone before.”

“So does that mean you haven’t had sex either?”

You saw his cheeks slowly beginning to turn pink. “I haven’t. What if I start talking to her and ask her out and stuff? What if she loses interest because I’m not experienced? I mean, most guys my age have already done it. They know how to please a woman and I’m just here…clueless.”

You felt bad. You didn’t know that your friend felt like this. His confidence was low due to his lack of experience. To be honest, you weren’t experienced either.

“Don’t feel bad,” you said. “I’m not experienced either…”

“I thought you were…”

You shook your head. “I haven’t dated anyone either, to be honest.”

“Really? You’re so pretty.”

“Thanks, but no. I never had a boyfriend before. There must be something wrong with me or something.”

Taeil smiled. “Don’t say that. You’re a great girl. A guy would be lucky to have you.”

Maybe he was right. Maybe there wasn’t anything wrong with you. It wasn’t like you were the most straightforward girl out there. For all you knew, there was someone out there that had a crush on you but you had no idea. For a moment, you wondered if Taeil ever thought of you in that way or if he only thought of you as a close friend. Taeil was handsome. He wasn’t the tallest or most muscular or the most attractive guy on campus, but he was definitely handsome. And he was smart and talented, too. He was a genuinely nice guy. Hearing him say that you were pretty and that you were a great girl made you curious about him.

But then you remembered that he liked that Japanese student, Nami. You said, “Thanks.”

“I mean it,” he said. “Really.”

Hearing his genuinity made you smile. “Thank you, again. You’re a good guy, too.”

“I guess, but girls don’t like good guys. They want guys that treat them like crap. Guys that know what they’re doing…” You put your finger on your chin, making Taeil chuckle. “What? You look like you’re plotting something.”

“What if we tried something?”

He raised his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“What if we messed around a little?”

“You want to have sex? Like, your first time? With me?”

You nodded. “Why not? I trust you. It’ll give us both some experience.”

“Are you sure?”

You nodded. “We can teach each other.”

You were shocked at yourself. You had never been this straightforward in your entire life. Part of you expected Taeil to laugh, to assume that you were joking. But apparently, he was just as serious as you were. You wanted to know what it was like. You wanted to know what the hype was all about so that you could relate to the friends you had that lost it already. You wanted to know if it hurt like they said it would and if it felt good.

He surprised you by leaning in to kiss you. He pulled away first. “I’m sorry. I should’ve asked first.”

“It’s okay,” you said, moving closer to him. This time, you kissed him first. He didn’t pull away. Instead, he pulled you into his lap so you could straddle him. “Are you sure you haven’t done this before? You’re a good kisser.”

His lips curled up into a smirk. “I could say the same about you, Y/N…” Then he closed the space between you with another kiss. Then he pulled away so that he could kiss on your neck. He heard you inhale sharply as his lips met the sensitive skin on your neck. He swirled his tongue around in a circle.

“Does that feel good?” You nodded and he continued. You let out a soft moan as he started to suck on your neck and planting soft kisses on your collarbone. As he kissed you, you pulled at the bottom of his shirt. He stopped so that you could pull it over his head. Then he helped you get yours off, revealing your black bralette. Taeil moved on to help you out of it, taking a moment to study your breasts. They were bigger than he thought. He could never tell from underneath your clothes. He took them in his hands. His touch was cool and you could feel your nipples getting hard.

No one had ever touched you like this before. It felt good, you had to admit. At your center, you felt warm. You were throbbing already and he’d barely touched you. Taeil bent forward to kiss your breasts, sucking on your nipples. You bit your lip, holding in the pleasure while he sucked.

He pulled of his pants a moment later, after he’d pulled down yours. This left both of you in your underwear. You weren’t wearing sexy panties or anything but according to his gaze, you didn’t think he seemed to care. He was on top of you, looking down at you.

“Are you okay?” he asked. You nodded and he kissed you. This time, his tongue made its way into your mouth. You allowed him in, letting his tongue glide over yours. You liked this. You had never kissed anyone like this before. Out of all the guys you knew, you were glad that this was happening with him. He pulled away for a moment. “Do you like being fingered? Do you want me to finger you?”

“Yes,” you whispered with a nod. You didn’t really like fingering yourself, but you wanted Taeil to try it on you. Maybe you’d like it coming from someone else’s fingers rather than your own. Taeil pulled your panties down slowly, your wetness clinging to it.

He said, “Tell me if you don’t like something, okay?”

“Okay.” A few seconds later, he slid in one finger. It was a foreign feeling and you couldn’t be sure if you liked it or not. He asked if he should put another finger in and you agreed, so he did. This felt strange too and it kind of felt uncomfortable.

He saw your body tense. “Is it too much? Does it hurt?”

“A little,” you admitted, “but it’s going to hurt no matter what.”

“I feel bad. Maybe we should just stop.”

You shook your head. “I can take it. Keep going.” So he moved his fingers in and out of you, a slow motion. Your body was getting used to the feeling of having something inside. It felt okay, but you wanted more. Your body craved more. “Rub my clit…” So he did, with his thumb, rubbing in a circular motion that made you moan.

It was the first time Taeil had heard you moan and he enjoyed hearing it. In fact, he wanted to make you moan more often and louder than that. He rubbed your clit slowly at first, but then picked up speed. He was fingering you and rubbing your clit at the same time. It was driving you crazy, making you whimper for some sort of release. Your hips bucked up, with each thrust of his two fingers.

Taeil removed his fingers from inside you, completely coated in your wetness. To your surprise, he put his fingers in his mouth, sucking your wetness off of his fingers. “I want to see how good you taste…” And with that, he got between your legs. He was so close that you could feel his breath against your skin. Taeil started digging his tongue into your clit. The rougher he was with your clit, the louder you moaned, he noticed. He licked long stripes up and down your clit. You could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter, soaking wet.

“Do you want to try having sex? You’re wet enough…”

You nodded. “I want you.”

He took off his boxers, revealing his fully erect cock. He was thicker than you expected. How would it fit? “Look what you did to me…” You smiled as he leaned in to kiss you again. As your tongues collided, he positioned yourself with your entrance. He pulled away, studying your face. He pushed your hair from your face and said, “If you want to stop, just tell me, okay? I’ll go slow.”

He started to push inside of you. It hurt. There were no ands, ifs, or buts about it. It was the first time anything bigger than a finger was going inside of you. You should’ve expected it to hurt. Your lips parted at the sharp pain. Taeil studied your face, looking you in your eyes. He expected you to say for him to stop, to get it out of you right now, but you didn’t. So far, the tip was in. A few more inches and you’d be filled up with his length. You bit your lip to keep you from crying out as he began to thrust in and out of you to get it deeper inside. He made small movements, thrusting back and forth.

It was a little easier now that most of it was inside of you now. His lips met your again, to distract you from the pain. You moaned into his mouth as your tongues collided. It was starting to feel good now and you couldn’t help but moan. This feeling was foreign. Sex felt a little different than you thought it would but the feeling was just as good as everyone claimed.

He let out a sigh. “You’re so tight, Y/N…Does it feel good for you now?”

You nodded, looking up into his eyes. You wrapped your legs around him as he thrusted deeper inside you. He kissed on your neck while he thrusted. Your hands rested on his back, trying your best not to dig your nails into his skin.

“You feel so good…”

You could feel him breathing more heavily in your ear and he thrusted in you deeply. He picked up the speed a little, just to see what you liked. He could tell in your face that you were loving it. He could feel himself getting close. Taeil didn’t want to finish just yet. He wanted to give you an orgasm, too, but he knew that he probably wouldn’t get it on the first try.

“I think I’m going to cum soon,” he whispered.

You nodded as he groaned and started pounding into you harder. Your lips parted and your moans were getting louder and louder, filling the room. For a few seconds, you wondered if any of his roommates were back yet. Did they hear you? You were curious but, at the same time, you didn’t care. Having sex with Taeil felt too good.

“Cum on me, okay?”

“You sure?”

As you nodded, he pulled out of you and wrapped his hand around his cock. He jerked it quickly for a few seconds before he came undone. He covered your breasts in his warm, sticky cum, letting out a grunt of relief. You bit your lips as you looked down to see the mess he’d made.

Taeil got out of bed and grabbed a towel from his closet. “Did you want to take a shower?”

You nodded slowly and got out of the bed, careful not to drip anywhere. Taeil opened the bathroom door for you and ran the shower for you. He kissed you one more time before closing the bathroom door behind him. As the shower water ran over you, you thought about what just happened. Part of you couldn’t believe it. You had sex and with Taeil, at that. He was one of your closest male friends at college.

You thought about the fact that he kissed you, just moments ago. He’d taken such good care of you during it all. He was careful not to hurt you and wanted to make you feel good. You wondered if he had feelings for you. Now that you were thinking about it, you realized that you liked him. It was a feeling you kept hidden away, never to question. A feeling that you’d continue to keep hidden away since he liked Nami rather than you.

By the time you got out of the shower, Taeil had fallen asleep. He’d changed into a T-shirt and shorts. His lips were slightly parted and you could see his chest rising and falling. You smiled as you started putting your clothes back on. Taeil stirred, opening his eyes. With a yawn, he said, “What are you doing?”

“I’m gonna head back,” you replied.

Taeil sat up with a frown. “You’re going to leave?”

You giggled. “I mean, you’re the one who was asleep just now.”

He smiled sleepily at you. “Well, I’m just a little worn out. You know?”

“I’m sleepy too…”

“Why don’t you just sleep here, with me?”

You were taken aback by his words. “What about Nami?”

He shook his head. “What about her?”

And with that, you climbed into bed with him. He covered you with the blanket and pulled you close to him in a spooning position. “I have a confession…”

You turned around to face him. “What?”

“I always wanted to kiss you…”

You smiled and planted a kiss on his lips. “I always kind of liked you.”

“I didn’t think you’d give me a chance…”

“Guess it’s a good thing I was feeling bold today, huh?”

[365tofudays]

SINNERS - Third Sin: Pride

Summary: A story of individuals being human and how their lives are more or less motivated by consciously or unconsciously committing the seven cardinal sins.

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Ontae, Uncertain Onho

A/N: This is unbeta’d work so forgive the mistakes - I tried proofing as much as I can, but I'm pretty sure I didn't catch them all.

1ST SIN, 2ND SIN

AO3

"It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels." - Saint Augustine

      "Hey, Taem," Jinki greeted. Shit.

      "Where'd you go?" Taemin frowned at his boyfriend.

      "Hey, Minie," Minho said alighting from the car.

      "Minho-hyung?" Understanding dawned.

      "Really, babe?" Taemin asked, giving the older man a reproachful look.

Why am I even asking? Taemin wondered. He had always known Jinki had an unhealthy compulsion to work. One day soon, the older man will drop from exhaustion - again. Which may not be a bad thing, he thought, if it'll force him away from his laptop and mobile.

      "I know, I'm sorry," Jinki apologised with a sheepish smile. "I couldn't resist," Jinki almost bit off his tongue at his choice of words.

      "I offered sex!" Taemin exclaimed, incensed.

      "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! That came out wrong." Jinki upped the wattage of his smile, sliding a look Minho's way. *Please, not in front of company.* "Why are you here though?"

"You've been gone almost three days. I'm pretty sure there's nothing edible in your fridge." Taemin humoured the change of topic. He couldn't care less if they had an audience, but his reserved boyfriend did. He sooo doesn't deserve me.

      "I have leftover chicken," Jinki's eyes wrinkled into charming crescents in gratitude. The warm feeling back in his stomach at the younger man's thoughtfulness.

      "Which you ate tonight," Taemin stated tightly, fighting the melts Jinki's eye-smile induced. "What about breakfast?"

      "Coffee?"

      "You drank the last cup before you left."

      "Oh - wait! You drank the last cup!" Jinki rebutted, taking one of the bags from Taemin.

      "As if! I clearly remember you complaining about needing to grocery shop after emptying the pot into your stupid travel mug."

      "Which you swiped on your way out the door."

Pause.

      "No… That was - "

      "Sorry to interrupt, love birds, but I'll get going now before all this sweetness give me a toothache," Minho interrupted with mock disgust, disguising the genuine note of jealousy in his voice. *Whoa, Choi. You don't have a stake on the man.*

      "Thanks for your time, Jinki. I'll watch out for your email tomorrow."

      "No, problem. Drive safe," Jinki nodded at him, free arm slinging over his boyfriend's shoulders.

      "Bye, hyung!" Taemin waved absent-mindedly, his pout indicating the need to be appeased.

The lack of traffic enabled Minho to speed away from the couple but not from his vaguely bitter feelings. Aren't you being melodramatic? Repeat after me "He's not mine."

      I know!

Knowing he should feel nothing didn't change how he felt when he caught a glimpse of the kissing couple from the rear view mirror.

      Stupid.

      "Mr. Lee? Choi Minho on the other line," Krystal informed Jinki.

      "Patch him through. Thanks."

      "Minho?”

      "Jinki? Hi, just checking if you got the revised contract?"

      "I did. I'm just reviewing the amendments on the contract. Krystal will email you a signed copy as soon as I'm done initializing the changes."

      "Sounds good. I'll forward you the contact information of the project team."

      "Please. We'll need to confirm schedules for the kick-off meeting," Jinki said.

      "Let me know if you need anything else," Minho said automatically. “Otherwise, we'll see you at Pac Rim.”

      Jinki tilted his head at phone after the call ended. The conversation somehow felt off, but he couldn't point out what about it was. He wondered if what happened two weeks ago had anything to do with it. But the architect had never been anything but cordial and professional. Friendly even, with the occasional references to Taemin and future get-to-togethers.

      Jinki gave a mental shrug deciding that it really doesn't matter. Bottom line, Pac Rim was going to be this firm's client and that was all he should care about.

      Across town, Minho stared at the blueprint spread over his drafting table, not realizing he'd been at it a good thirty seconds.

      Since last week, he kept his distance from Taemin and Jinki, ducking dinner and drink invites. He was determined to get over this ridiculous crush and figured time away from Jinki would help.

      "Earth to Choi!" Minho's attention snapped to the project manager who was his next appointment.

      "Everything okay?" Eun Hyuk asked, brushing away the notes and pens littered on top of the blueprint.

      "Yeah, just figuring out how to work this recreation room in the design," Minho said not meeting his eyes.

      Jinki punched the receive button of the intercom distractedly as he reviewed the agenda for the Pac Rim kick off meeting. 

      "Mr. Lee?" Krystal's voice over the intercom interrupted his thoughts.

      "Yes?"

      "A Kim Kibum on the other line. He said it's an emergency."

      Jinki froze. He never thought he would hear that name again.

      "Sir?"

      "Put him through," he said tightly, as Krystal transferred the call. Unsure why he was going to talk to the one person he hated as much as he hated his family.

      "Hello?" a familiar voice greeted over the line. "Jinki?"

      Jinki's hand clenched around the receiver remembering nights of shared heat and whispered dreams.

      "Jinki?"

      "Speaking," he answered tonelessly.

      "Hi," the caller greeted awkwardly. "How have you been -"

      "What do you want, Kibum?" Jinki interrupted.

      Silence stretched over the line, but Jinki waited, unmoved.

      Key sighed at the other end. After what he did, he couldn't expect anything else.

      "I need a favour, Jinki."

      Jinki snorted. *What did he think this call was going to be about?*

      "Of course you do," Jinki said mockingly. "Unfortunately, I'm not in any mood to grant you favours - ever. Good day, Kibum. Don't call again."

      "Jinki wait! Please, listen!" Jinki blinked at the desperation in Kibum's voice.

      "Please, listen. I know you hate me, but you loved my grandmother. Please... I need your help."

      Jinki remembered Kibum's only living relative. A tiny wrinkled woman who worked hard all her life trying to give her only son a good life. Only to be saddled with a grandson before she was in her 50s.

      "I can't find her. I've been trying to get a hold of her for three days and she's not answering," Kibum's voice broke on the last word.

      "I fail to see how any of this concerns me," Jinki cut in, ignoring the twinge of worry he felt. Grandma Kim was in her 80s and suffered from arthritis. She could have fallen and lying injured somewhere.

      "I can't contact anyone from the area. The phone lines must be down," Kibum explained in a rush, before Jinki could tell him to call the other villagers.

      Anxiety was starting to take root as Jinki remembered the snow storm that blew into the region earlier this week. It brought record breaking snowfall that had disrupted train and flight schedules.

      "Don't you have a nurse taking care of her? Why don't you call the agency?" Jinki asked unwilling to give in.

      "I have and they've promised to send someone as soon as possible, but it won't be for another two days," Kibum answered. "I haven't been able to contact anyone who can check the farmhouse."

      "Jesus Christ, Kibum. What is she still doing out in the farmhouse?" Jinki asked angrily. "Never mind, I don't care. Call the cops or the national guard for all I care. Don't bother me again."

      "Jinki, please, gran could be hurt," Kibum pleaded.

      "Maybe you should have thought of that and taken a moment out of your social climbing to make sure your grandmother isn't lying somewhere alone and dying," Jinki bit out frostily before disconnecting the call.

      Jinki had realized that none of this was his problem. He didn't owe Kibum anything. No one would blame him if he forgot the phone call ever happened. But he can't. For whatever slights Kibum made against him, Grandma Kim was blameless.

      Fuck, Jinki swore under his breath, reaching for the phone. Moments later, Krystal walked in pen and paper ready.

      "Postpone my appointments for the next two days - tell them it's a family emergency." Krystal's brows raised before she could control them. She knew more than anyone else that the big boss didn't get along with his family. That was pretty obvious from all the calls he'd told her to reject and the dark cloud that grew in mass whenever he couldn't avoid those phone calls. The inevitable fall out was reminiscent of the snow storm that had recently wrecked havoc across the country; ferocious and freezing.

      "Figure out how to get me into Daegu as soon as possible. I don't care what time I get there," Jinki continued rattling off instructions as he sorted through documents he planned to take with him on the trip.

      "Also, retain the number of the last call I received and have the network team block it," Krystal managed to contain her confusion.

      "Give me a status update on the travel plans ASAP," Jinki ordered, dismissing Krystal with a brief nod, as he dialed Taemin's mobile.

      "Hey babe," Taemin answered cheerfully.       "Hey Taem, how's the new piece coming along?" Jinki asked, making an effort to erase all terseness from his voice.

      "It's coming. I thought I had to scrap this, but it feels different today," Taemin said, dunking his paintbrush into a jar of turpentine. "Slow day at the office?"

      It was pretty rare for Jinki to call him in the middle of a work day. In fact, they rarely had idle conversations over the phone. Taemin liked to think Jinki would rather hold conversations with him face to face.

      "Kind of the reason why I'm calling actually," Jinki started. "Something came up. I won't make it to dinner tonight."

      Taemin swallowed his disappointment and protests. Both would be pointless against the resolve in Jinki's voice.

      "Work?"

      "No. It's a friend... his grandmother might be in trouble. So I'm going to Daegu and check in on her just to make sure she's ok."

      "Daegu? Couldn't you send someone else go to check in on her? I mean someone who's already there." Taemin was perplexed; Jinki wasn't big on altruism. Not to say that he was a heartless jerk, but the big love of his life was his company. No one and nothing will ever come between him and his job. Taemin had accepted this long before their relationship moved past the occasional sex partners phase into the caring-for-each-other territory.

      Taemin knew that his boyfriend was slammed with back to back meetings this week. And this foray into the countryside would definitely cause delays.

      "Grandma Kim is wary of strangers," Jinki hedged. "Look, I'm sorry I'm bailing on you again. But I really have to do this."

      "I'm not heartless Jinki, of course, I get it. Do you want me to pack an overnight bag?"

      "No, Krystal can do that. You don't need to be interrupted over this," Jinki said, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. "Tell you what, if you have an hour to spare, we can have lunch together. I'll tell Krystal to pick you up on her way back."

      Taemin pursed his lips. He hated how Jinki never relied on him. Even for the smallest things, Jinki could never bring himself to ask for help.

      "Ok, let me know if you need any anything," Taemin said in a tight voice.

      "Thanks for understanding, Taem," Jinki said. "I'll make it up to you next time."

      "You better," Taemin joked, trying to lighten the mood, but feeling pathetic at the sound of the dial tone.

      Taemin fought the irrational jealousy for the old woman Jinki was willing to drop everything for. The petty feeling tamped down but not conquered manifested itself with the tightening of his fingers around his mobile. What an ugly feeling.

      With an irritated flick of his wrist, Taemin tossed his mobile on the couch and blankly stared at the canvas he'd been working on. The energetic swirls of colour suddenly looking childish and rather uninspired.

      Sadness and anger provided contrast to his brighter emotions, providing depth with their dark tones. It forced him to appreciate the difference and the polarizing effect.

      Jealousy evoked such an ugly feeling in his work. It had no colour, could not be expressed in colours. At least, he was unable to express it in colour or shape. It was simply a shadow that loomed over him. Dulling his perceptions, blanketing his vision with a grey that obscured his reasons. Rendering all other hues dull and lacklustre.

      Lately, the blanket seemed to have grown in substance. No longer was it a haze that blurred his perceptions, it was starting to take on a opaqueness that made it hard to see what he and Jinki still had.

      Rather, it was hard to see whether Jinki was still facing him. Through the haze, it seemed that he had turned his back. Taemin can't shake the feeling that his opaque vantage point was masking the steps Jinki was taking away from him. And just like before he was helpless against the tide that would take a loved one away from him.

      Taemin stood up in disgust and wandered over the large bay window. Sightlessly surveying the Han river.

      He had lost just about everyone he ever cared for. He had been powerless against the circumstances he had lost his parents and grandmother in. Had been too young and too lost to help his grandfather pull himself together. This time he wasn't a helpless little boy anymore. Nothing and no one was taking Jinki away from him - not even Jink himself, he promised his grim reflection.

[cafe-depresso-blog]

Get to Know me

I was tagged by @simsparadise3

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

Last: 1. Drink: Root beer. 2. Phone call: Technically at work with my boss, but other than that with a good friend a couple days ago. 3. Text message: Yeah same friend, haha. 4. Song you listened to: This Love - Pantera. 5. Time you cried: Uhh, about a week-ish ago.

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Nope. 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nah, I don’t regret them. 8. Been cheated on: Heh heh, twice :/  9. Lost someone special: In more ways than one 10. Been depressed: Why do you think I’m Café Depresso 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I’m allergic to alcohol. So nope, haha.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14. Red, Pink, Lavender

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Making more every week or so!  16. Fallen out of love: Not really, but trying to.  17. Laughed until you cried: I laugh way too much, haha. 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yup, and one of them were talking shit.  19. Met someone who changed you: I didn’t meet them this year, but ye.  20. Found out who your friends are: Yep :/  21. Kissed someone on your  Facebook list: They aren’t on there anymore. 

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I’ve met all but two in real life, the others I’ve talked to extensively already. 

23. Do you have any pets: Yee, I have two wonderful puppers.  24. Do you want to change your name: Nah, I’m coo with it.  25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Nothing for the first time in a long time.  26. What time did you wake up: 10 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Failing to fall asleep. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Nothing really, I’m not really excited about anything anymore.  29. When was the last time you saw your mom: About an hour ago before she went to bed. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: My overthinking, it’s screwed me over in the past.  31. Listening right now: One More Light - Linkin Park 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I don’t know any anymore, but yeah, I have.  33. Something that is getting on your nerves: The many misunderstandings between me and an old friend. But that’s just whatever.  34. Most visited website: Currently, probably apartments.com, haha. 

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: Not really, I have a tiny cherry mole on my arm though.  36. Mark/s: Beauty marks? No, Stretch marks? Not too visible, but yeah. 37. Childhood dream: Believe it or not, paleontologist.  38. Hair color: Dark Brown, almost Black. 39. Long or short hair: Short-Medium length. Kinda want to grow it out, but at the same time not really, haha. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Not really.  41. What do you like about yourself: I’m funny sometimes. 42. Piercings: None. 43. Blood type: Uhhhh, the type that’s there.  44. Nickname: I used to be called Mario.  45. Relationship status: Single Pringle who’s not gonna mingle.  46. Zodiac: Aries. 47. Pronouns: He/Him 48. Favorite TV Show: Red vs Blue 49. Tattoos: Not yet. 50. Right or left hand: Amped.  51. Surgery: I mean, not really. I’ve had my head sewn together in a couple places though, haha. So if stitches counts then about 3-4. 52. Hair dyed in different color: Nope 53. Sport: Baseball if I had to choose.  55. Vacation: I don’t really care, just maybe somewhere with friends. 56. Pair of trainers: Nope.

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: Jelly beans. 58. Drinking: Still that Root Beer. 59. I’m about to: Be up for a long ass time like every other night. 61. Waiting for: The end to come (yes, I put a Linkin Park reference here. Don’t judge me) 62. Want: Things I can’t have. 63. Get married: Probs not.  64. Career: Currently looking at Diplomatic Courier. 

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Hmm, I love kissing, but I think I’ll have to go with hugs on this one. 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes for sure.  67. Shorter or taller: I’m pretty short, but all my friends are tall, so I can go for both xD 68. Older or younger: I prefer people around my age, older makes me nervous and younger at this point in time is too annoying.  70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Nice arms I guess, because a stomach is nice to hold when soft :D  71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive for sure. I have decently sharp hearing.  72. Hook up or relationship: Defs a relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Hmm, depends on the situation, but I lean more to hesitant on my own. 

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: Nah.  75. Drank hard liquor: Yup.  76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: How many times now... 77. Turned someone down: Wow, has anyone ever even really asked me?  78. Sex on the first date: Nope.  79. Broken someone’s heart: Not that I’m aware of.  80. Had your heart broken: Yeah. 81. Been arrested: Nope.  82. Cried when someone died: Of course, it’s something I know a lot about, cause military.  83. Fallen for a friend: Ye, it’s how most of my crushes start/

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Haha, that’s a joke.  85. Miracles: I can believe, but not in ones for me 86. Love at first sight: I mean maybe, but it’d be difficult.  87. Santa Claus: Nah, haha.  88. Kiss on the first date: Ehh, probably not. 

OTHER: 90. Current best friend(s) name: Jarred, Sam, Jacob, Jon, Misha.  91. Eye color: Blue/Green 92. Favorite movie: Why must you make me choose? Uhh, Dr. Strange/Capt. America the First Avenger

I will be tagging~ The only other person I know @chikabunn