#and i actually believe it again when i say i dont really believe in cringe

[lavenderjiang]

my boyfriend has helped me heal so much that im sat thinking about ocs for a show (that is really good actually) which stereotypically has the worst fandom and i feel like myself again :))

[sayoneee]

☆ POISON

“miss her, kiss her, love her, wrong move you’re dead, that girl is poison” - bell biv devoe (2.2k)

contains: luke castellan x daughter of aphrodite! reader. acquaintances to friends to secretish lovers. silena + drew mentions. during tlt.

kashaf’s note: u cant tell me a group of teenagers lived together at summer camp and no one had secret parties. dont @ me for the 90s music references (+ i imagine avantika vandanapu as silena, and momona tamada as drew)

i. and if there was a problem / yo, i'll solve it

“CASTELLAN?” YOU APPROACHED him slowly, tone cautious as if you were speaking to a wounded animal, although in this case, maybe you were, as you reached for his bruised knuckles, remaining persistent, even as he tried to withdraw his hands out of your grasp. “why’d you do that?”

“did i need a reason?” there is a forced jocularity to his words, a well-practiced mask he is never seen without, and you cringe slightly, your gaze catching the grimace that twists his lips. his attempt at a ‘roguish’ grin falls flat, the expression a discordant note against the backdrop of his injuries. luke’s already busted lip splits open, a thin line of crimson carving a river down his chin. he moves to wipe it off the back of his arm, but you’ve already pulled off the bandana tying up your hair (a birthday present from a half-sibling) and begun rubbing at his face.

luke’s eyes widened at the gesture.

despite being tentative acquaintances since your arrival, you’re still annoyed that luke castellan continues to underestimate just how much of his heart he wears on his sleeve — or rather, just how well you manage to see past his facade. his blatant lie hangs in the air, unacknowledged. instead, you deliberately shift your gaze to the purples and blacks that mar his knuckles, setting about wrapping them with your bandana, obscuring the damage.

“i could’ve done that myself,” luke says, amused, his words lightly appreciative. still, at your answering glare, he tosses his hands in the air in surrender as ‘ice ice baby’ continues in the background, uninterrupted, “but thank you, though.”

“i’m no apollo kid, but it’ll do,” you shrug instead of accepting the gratitude, tugging him to his feet, ensuring to grab his uninjured hand, and hauling him outside. 

“you’re no apollo kid, and you decide to take the injured man away from where the apollo kids are actually gathered,” luke muses, once again entertained with himself (was there any other emotion this boy could experience besides amusement?), once the lights of the apollo cabin are so far behind you, neither of you could fully see each other.

“you’ll live,” you say, scowling at him through the darkness, forgetting he couldn’t actually see you.

“and you’re moody for a daughter of aphrodite,” he says, still holding onto your hand as he trails after you.

you stop in your tracks, pinch the bridge of your nose, count to three, and finally turn to luke, who still has his stupidly pleased-with-himself expression on his face. “luke castellan, if you don’t end up dying of some tragic fate or the other i will hunt you down myself.”

“duly noted.”

“holy hera, do you even want to know where i’m taking you?”

“nah, i think the mystery really adds some suspense.”

“that’s it, i give up,” you say, before beginning to drag him back to the apollo cabin, when he plants his feet in the dirt ground firmly, grinning crookedly at you as the moonlight finally shines through the clouds, suddenly bathing him in a luminescent glow.

“nah, c’mon, let’s go to your spot.”

you glare at him, watching how his stupid grin only seems to grow in size, an annoyingly endearing trait. with a sigh, you continued to drag him along, scowling each time he tried to make a quip.

“what if we get to your spot, and i find out this was all just a ploy to murder me?” luke muses out loud, looking thoughtful for once.

“do you seriously believe that if i was gonna murder you, i wouldn’t have done it by now?” you say, pausing when he shrugged in agreement, “we’re here though, whiney baby.” 

luke’s eyebrows rose as he took in the secluded area near the dunes, finally meeting your gaze again. “aw, i can’t believe you just planned out our first date.”

“i seriously don’t know what any of my half-siblings see in you.”

“so you’ve discussed me then.”

“shut up, i dragged you all the way here, because even though i know you like attention, i don’t think you wanted the attention you were getting from punching that poor hephaestus kid in the jaw,” you say shockingly sincerely, startling both yourself and luke.

luke doesn’t say anything, letting what seems like a confession hang in the air, instead, sits down near the water, and rubs a hand across his jaw, watching you as you follow suit, sitting next to him. 

after spending what seems like minutes in silence, watching the waves lap at the shore, luke finally speaks, staring out at the horizon, his tone slightly hollow, and devoid of all things you have come to label as luke castellan, looking eerily similar to the night he had returned from his infamous quest, “heroes aren’t meant to be happy.”

you drew your legs to your chest, wrapping your arms around them and resting your head. “i know — achilles, orpheus, theseus…” you trail off.

“and hercules,” luke adds, almost melancholy. 

“i think i’ve pretty much accepted i’ll die young,” you say, your words coming out in nothing but a whisper despite the two of you being alone.

luke nods in solidarity, lost in thought. “it shouldn’t have to be like this,” he finally says, voice hardening.

ii. talking sweet and looking fine / i get kinda hectic inside

“okay, for this technique, i’ll need a partner,” luke says, looking straight at you. “can you come up here?”

deciding to oblige him, you rolled your eyes good-naturedly, smiling as you joined him in front of the other campers, who had begun whispering when he called out to you. in the crowd, just past your half-siblings looks of shock, you can see the stolls passing around a wad of cash. 

luke addresses the crowd once more, “i need everyone to be paying close attention here, we’ll be demonstrating how to parry, or counterblock for the newcomers.”

as both of you get into position, luke smiles, “don’t forget to go easy on me.”

you laughed, “don’t bet on it, castellan.”

your demonstration ends up feeling like eons, as the two of you continue to dance around each other, parrying and jabbing, and lunging, and striking, and parrying. both of you are panting, your faces flushed as you continue, and just when it seems like you have the upper hand, luke side steps, and easily parries your finishing blow, disarming you in the process.

you laugh as you yield, loving the exhilaration from the fight, but when the two of you face the campers once more, more than half of the crowd is slack-jawed. 

luke, ever the showman, can’t resist a grin, “not only was that your lesson to not underestimate aphrodite cabin, but also to show you the level we’re trying to get you guys to. now, partner up and spread out.”

before you can turn back to address luke again, drew is suddenly at your side. 

“what the fuck was that?” drew hisses, grasping your elbow and leading you away from the training session in full swing, pulling you into your cabin, where silena sits on your bed (still in her armor), clearly awaiting this impromptu confrontation.

“what was what?” you choose to feign innocence, examining your nails before glancing up to see the twin expressions of horror on both silena and drew’s faces. 

“do not act dumb,” drew eyes you coolly, “it’s so beneath you.”

“i’m not acting dumb,” you rolled your eyes at the both of them.

“yes you —”

“you and castellan,” silena interjects, “we want details, now.”

“what details even are there to give?”

silena grabs drew’s arm, pulling her back from apparently nearly pouncing on you. 

drew rolls her eyes at the hand on her arm, and then focuses on you, “you’re literally our next head counselor and you and castellan had never so much looked at each other until this week and now he’s asking you to help demonstrate training techniques, like hello?”

silena snapped her fingers in agreement, “c’mon, you can’t deny that something didn’t happen.”

“nothing did,” you crossed your arms across your chest.

“you know what,” drew says, “if you wanna be like this fine. come find me when you finally decide to — i don’t know — talk to your sisters?” she storms out of the cabin, leaving you alone with silena, who sighs, gives you an apologetic look and goes after drew. 

“well, that was a shit show.”

you whirl around to see your head counselor standing at the entry of the cabin, poised as ever, not a hair out of place as she stood, examining her manicure, looking bored, as usual. 

“couldn’t agree more,” you sigh, sitting on your bed, head in your hands. 

your head counselor takes a seat beside you, “look, i don’t care for whatever petty drama just unfolded, you’ll get over it, daughters of aphrodite and all,” she waves a hand in the air, “— but for now, we have more pressing issues. i’m gonna leave for college soon, and the entire cabin knows you’re my successor.”

you nod as she paused, meeting your gaze, and you can’t help but examine the perfect shape of her eyeliner, scanning her entire picture-perfect face in an attempt to discern her mood.

“i don’t care whatever it is you have going on with castellan, but you need to complete the rite of passage, before you become head counselor.”

“the rite of passage?” you asked, having only heard the phrase in hushed conversations around camp, the knot in your stomach tightening as she continued.

“no child of aphrodite is a true child of aphrodite without having broken their first love’s heart,” is all she offers as an explanation, completely straight-faced. “castellan is perfect for your rite of passage.”

your eyebrows furrow as you consider her words, and with a final nod, and gentle squeeze of your arm, she leaves you with both her legacy and your mother’s legacy in your hands. 

“oh, and before i forget, whoever doesn’t do it always ends up cursed.”

iii. now let me pray to keep you from / the perils that will surely come

luke’s shoulder brushing against yours has turned out to be extremely distracting, and now you can understand why your cabin is more notorious for breaking hearts, rather than falling in love. you can’t seem to focus on anything except how close his hand is to yours, even the golden hue of the fire or the sing-alongs can’t divert your attention. 

the distance between the two of you grows imperceptibly smaller when luke suddenly clears his throat, on the verge of saying something, when a twig snaps behind the two of you, causing you to jump apart and look at the intruder. 

annabeth is standing behind the two of you, looking faintly apologetic, but also terrified. “sorry if i interrupted you guys,” she offers, rubbing her arm.

you share a glance with luke, nodding at him. “you weren’t — luke can always talk to me later,” you say, offering her your trademark smile.

annabeth nodded, “thank you,” as luke gently squeezed your hand before getting up to comfort her.

“don’t thank me, sweetheart.”

you’re at your usual spot when luke rejoins you, running a hand through his curls. “sorry,” he says, “someone left a spider in athena cabin, and no one could kill it.”

you chuckled, “if it wasn’t a total accident, i’d bet money it was travis and connor.”

the corner of his mouth quirks up at the mention of his siblings, “i think you’re spending too much time around them to pick up on their habits.”

“or maybe, i’m spending too much time around you,” you offer, smirking at him, trying to ignore the funny feeling in your chest as he smiles genuinely at you.

“i like to say i’m an acquired taste,” luke shrugs, sneaking a glance at you as you laugh at him. 

“i think i’ve acquired that taste,” you say, without thinking, before realizing how phenomenally stupid that sounded.

luke smiled widely, “y’know, if you weren’t a daughter of aphrodite, i would’ve told you how corny that was —” you shoved him here, “— ow, let me finish, but i actually am really glad to hear that.”

“no wonder,” you smirked, “i can practically hear your heart beating out of your chest.”

“okay, look who’s confident all of a sudden.”

you shut him up with a soft kiss that has him seeing stars. 

iv. i know what’s weighing on your mind / you can be sure i know my part

“again, what the hell is going on with you and castellan?” silena asks one early morning before breakfast, birds chirping as she’s lining her eyes with kajal, glancing at the mirror in her hand as she sits at the top of her bed.

“nothing.”

“i literally saw you guys making out and had to scrub my eyes out with soap,” drew adds, looking extremely disgusted at the thought of relieving that experience, as she paints a fresh coat of nail polish. 

“fine, you’re right,” you concede, curling your eyelashes. 

“don’t you have to do the rite of passage, though?” drew asks, pausing to look up at you.

“i’m not doing the rite of passage,” you say slowly, setting the eyelash curler down on the vanity.

“excuse me?” your head counselor has her hands on her hips, the annoyed expression on her face marring her perfect features, towering over you as she stands in front of your bed.

“i said, i’m not doing the rite of passage,” you enunciate, looking up at her, maintaining eye contact.

the temperature of the cabin seemed to drop ten degrees, and for a minute or so, your stare remained unbroken until she shrugged. “your decision... but don’t say i didn’t warn you,” before dramatically whirling around and heading to the pavilion.

silena gave you a look as drew arched her brow, and you simply shrugged in response.

© sayoneee on tumblr. do not repost, plagiarize, translate or claim any of my works as your own.

[pigcowboys]

Hi boo(i hope that was not too cringe)! Could you pls do a percy jackson, enemies to lovers! story? Like in everyone in the Camp knows their hatred against each other but then they get send on a quest together and end up kissing each other to disguise their quest?!

I would really appreciate it!

Have a good Day!

pairing: percy jackson x gn! reader (2nd pov is used but someone does say 'chick')

summary: much to your displeasure, you find yourself on a quest with the one person you hate the most.

warning(s): BICKERING. mutual pining (they just don't know it yet.), kissing, swearing, enemies to lovers.

a/n: IT WASNT CRINGE DWW HAHA, i tried my best!! school starts for me pretty soon so im trying to write as much as i can before i have to go back.. (also im sorry abt the images i dont know whats going on with my computer.)

you hated them, everyone of them.

that wretched camp and it's obnoxious staff oh, and don't even get you started on that stupid oracle. she set you up! they all did.

gods, why of all people did it have to be him?

perseus jackson - most of the time shortened to just percy jackson, maybe even peter johnson at times. what an ass he was.

believe it or not when you first came to camp half-blood you had actually taken a liking to him. he was cute, full of energy and full of endless bravery, your exact type.

you weren't sure when it begun, your hatred for him, that is. it kind of just..started. when? not sure. your exact guess must've been that one valentine's day when he accidentally sneaked the last muffin at breakfast. yeah, that must've been it.

to be honest though, you didn't need a reason. you just did, and you weren't exactly quiet about it either. from the day you started to hate his guts all his advances to be nice to you were met with a glare or a huff. sometimes you'd just straight up walk away from him.

so, it basically didn't take him long to send you back the same glares or huffs or even the smallest mutter of 'geez, not this chick again..' everyone hoped the feud would dissipate, that the two of you would grow the fuck up and call a truce.

too bad their prayers didn't help.

infact, you were pretty sure that even if the gods themselves came down from olympus and said 'get along or die right here' you'd pick the latter in a heartbeat.

so, when you'd initially been called into chiron for some 'great news' you'd expected him to tell you that percy had finally decided to leave camp - or that you'd won the lottery. fuck, you wished that was it.

"hey, stay on your side, bucko!" you said, nudging percy to the side aggressively. "i'm not on the market, especially for you."

"can you be serious for second!" percy snapped back, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration. "we have to prove to chiron that we can do this." he turned back to face the front. "or...we're in for another lecture."

"i wouldn't mind, really," you grinned. "i've perfected the art of sleeping with my eyes open."

"if only you could perfect the art of silence.."

you glared at him.

the two of you were submerged underwater at the moment in one of percy's bubbles. chiron had asked of you to go to queens in order to do..something? you didn't really pay attention to chiron at the time - besides, you were thinking about drowning yourself in the nearest lake when you'd heard the percy going on the quest with you in tow. the only thing you could remember was that it was super important to not let anyone see you.

something about the appearance of two demigod children to monster being dangerous? you weren't sure why he thought the things wouldn't be able to sniff you out anyways.

the bubble wasn't even your idea to be fair. you'd suggested just taking the train, as it much easier but percy disagreed - as usual. said it would be quicker to just swim over via bubble transfer and although you wanted to disagree, you settled on the idea that the station at this time would be packed as hell.

so you bit your tongue and allowed yourself to be trapped in a bubble with percy for about a half an hour or so.

"ugh, how much longer..?" you asked, adjusting your clothes uneasily. the bubble wasn't by any means uncomfortable just..kind of warm? weirdly enough. percy didn't spare you a glance only opting to shurg his shoulder slightly as he focused on the vast ocean in front of the two of you.

you glared at him from your spot in the bubble, uncomfortably crossing your legs as you turned away from him, jumping when you realized a never before seen fish was staring into your soul from outside the bubble. it wasn't a surprise to you to see the fish, percy was the son of poseidon, you expected him to go full aquaman one day and pull up to camp half blood with a stream of wild dolphins and squids.

still, the beady little dead eyes scared the shit out of you. and in your natural knee jerk reflex, you moved back, inching into percy and bumping his shoulder. he turned to face you with a distasteful look, face contorting in confusion when he noticed the small school of fish now gathering.

your face morphed into one of uncomfort as you gazed at the tons of fish that seemed to spawn out of nowhere. "uh..can you call your friends off?"

percy seemed to share a look with the fish, a look of embarrassment flashing over his face briefly as he glared at them intensely. you looked on at the exchange in silence because, was he really talking to fishes? the fish eventually scrammed after a while and you and percy were back on your way. silence fell over the two of you before you spoke up suddenly.

"i didn't know you spoke fish.."

"drop it."

"i think we're here." percy annouced as the bubble started to drift closer to shore. were you guys there? you weren't sure at all. you were just happy to be out of that bubble - the close proximity was making you break out.

you were in fact there, somehow. and it was by then it hit you that this was a quest - a really important mission for a demigod and since it was assigned to specifically you and percy, it meant you had to deliver.

your duo walked towards the city, looking around for any suspicious looking civilians or any sign of irregular activity. it would've been an easy task to scope out the objective of the mission if it wasn't for percy's loud breathing.

seriously, you could hear him practically breathing down your neck as the two of you walked. him and his stupid big nostrils - you couldn't focus.

"mind breathing a little less loud?"

percy blinked at you. "these requests are starting to get literally concerning." his face contorted in confusion. "how the hell does one 'breathe a little less loud' ?"

"they not be percy jackson."

"that wasn't even english??"

you were about to say something else smart when a couple of people ahead caught your attention, they weren't inherently weird looking but, you got this vibe from them - that they weren't completely human. your mind raced as you looked around as nonchalantly as you could.

there were people here. to your right, 2 parents and their one hyperactive son who clawed at the ice cream in front of him with his tongue, a bright smile on his face and to your left a group of younger looking teenage girls who were chatting brightly. most likely about hair dye because their highlights were so bright they were giving you eye cancer.

you thought fast. pulling percy by his wrist as you dashed down the street, rushing into the nearest store slash tourist attraction you could as you pushed him into the corner roughly, looking behind you to see if the people had followed you.

he gave you a completely surprised look, slight annoyance forming on his face as he exhaled heavily. "is there any reason you felt like dragging me into this.." he looked around, eyes landing on a random cowboy hat that was situated on a hook in the corner of the place. "slightly..cool place?" he finished, grabbing the cowboy hat and observing it curiously.

"i saw them, well - i think i did.." you mumbled out, looking around erratically as you watched out for any signs of being followed. percy quirked an eyebrow at you.

"the IRS finally caught you orr.."

"percy, this is serious!" you exclaimed, growing slightly embarrassed when the store owner shot the two of you a look. you smiled at the owner awkwardly, ushering percy into a corner with your hand.

"look, i'm pretty sure i found the guys we were going here for." you said, still stealing glances behind you. "i saw them..just now, when were walking."

"did they follow us?" percy asked, more seriously now.

"i'm not sure," you frowned.

percy thought for a moment before speaking once more."they wouldn't do anything with all these humans here - we just have to make sure we blend in."

"and how do you suppose we do that?"

percy grinned at you, reaching over to grab another hat that was right next to the one he'd picked up earlier.

you grimaced, who's idea was it to put you two together?

"do you think we lost them?"

"nah, we definitely still need the disguises."

the two of you were situated on the street currently, attempting to look as normal as possible. though, it was pretty hard to with these stupid cowboy hats percy insisted the two of you had to wear. claimed it would be "inconspicuous" but in reality it was extremely, eye catching.

you figured he just wanted you to wear it so he could laugh behind your back about how utterly foolish you looked. it didn't help that he'd picked out the hat with the corniest design for you - and it was bedazzled.

you let of a huff of frustration. "can we switch? this one's too big on me., i'm half blind here, man."

"you'll live," percy reassured. "besides, it's better if they can't see your face."

"what's the use? they'll just sniff us out eventually."

percy shot you a look. "you're no fun."

you opened your mouth to say something when percy's face changed as he locked eyes with something behind you. you barely had time to react when he pulled you into a brutal bear hug, turning you away from whatever it was that was behind you.

your muscles tensed as your face started to burn with embarrassment. a "what the fuck, percy?" was muffled into his shirt as you felt the presence of the monsters nearing closer. your heart sank to your feet as realized how near they were really.

"whatever i do.." percy whispered in your ear. "just promise you won't be too mad."

"what're you talk-"

and then before you knew it, you'd lost your lip virginity. i mean, it wasn't the worst first kiss story you'd have to tell people. boy kissed me in order to distract the bloodthirsty monsters that were tracking us down! wow, how romantic.

in all honesty, you knew percy just did what he had to do. you knew he just had to keep you to keep your disguises up. that was probably the rest why you leaned into the kiss, hands coming up to rest on his chest as his brutal bear hug eased into more a gentle hug, his hands moving the hold your hips.

the kiss had to look real - romantic. that's why you pretend to be so into it that you let out a satisfied hum. you weren't sure if the monsters had moved on from the two of you, you weren't even sure if you were safe at all in the moment. but, it was starting to get hard to think as your mind swirled with various conflicting thoughts that stemmed from your actions at the moment.

percy broke the kiss, his eyes gazing into your curiously as he removed his hands from your hips slowly. you removed your hand from his chest, pulling away gently. your eyes searched his own for any sign of discomfort or disgust as you started to grow weary of the fact he'd just stolen your first kiss.

yet, you were surprised to find that there was none - just confusion and surprise. you tore your eyes away from him, clearing your throat. as you fixed your outfit. "i..i think i saw them go somewhere over there." you pointed at the secluded alleyway not too far from where you and percy stood. "let's go - we can get the drop on them."

percy stared at you for a moment before nodding, slightly dazed and following you towards the alleyway silently.

the ride back home - or should you say float back home was silent, as it always was. though, something different seemed to be hanging in the air this time. a feeling of awkwardness that was mostly unnatural to you and percy.

you wanted to ask about it - the kiss, why did he do it? why was that first thing he came up with? why did he lean into you slightly? why did the world seemed to stop for a second when your lips met and most of all whyyy the hell did you want it to happen again?

you stole a glance at percy. the two of you were a few feet away from each other, on opposite sides of the bubble. maybe you were going crazy or something but did percy look..good? you swore it was just because of the mixed feelings you had about him being your first but you couldn't shake the thought about how beautiful he looked in the moment.

okay, something's not right.

"do you wanna talk about it?" you blurted out suddenly, shifting positions as you leaned forward slightly. percy turned to look at you, he wasn’t annoyed nor angry, not even suicidal. he looked, enamored — and slightly caught off guard by your question.

"talk about what exactly?"

your eyebrows furrowed. "you kissed me, percy jackson." you pointed at him accusingly. "and you liked it."

percy blew a raspberry, a slightly surprised look on his face. "what makes you think i liked it?"

you paused. had you read something wrong? you thought about dropping the idea but thought against it, deciding to die on that hill. "because your hands somehow found their way onto my hips," you started. "and your lips pursed — and your heartbeat picked up little by the little the longer it lasted."

you crossed your legs, inching away from percy as you gave him a small frown. "and..you looked at me weird." percy's face was flushed as he looked at you silently from his position on the other side of the bubble.

"how did i look at you..?"

you glanced at him. "like you didn't want to drown me in the lake and leave my body for the fishes." you joked. "like..you didn't hate me."

"i don't hate you."

your head spun towards percy, your eyes widened comically. you opened your mouth to say something but the words were caught in your throat. percy analyzed you before speaking once more.

"i don't think i ever have, it's just - you're very annoying." percy sighed. "and it sucks because you're more attractive than you think you are." you stared at him in silence. your heart pounded in your chest as you gulped.

"do you like me?"

"do you like me?" percy repeated with emphasis on the me.

you laughed, inching towards percy on the other side of the bubble. "i do." you stopped in front of him, a warm smile on your face as you watched a smile break out onto his face. "i like you too." he whispered, staring at you quietly before leaning forward slightly to test the waters.

you instantly took the bait, leaning forward as well as you locked lips with percy one again. a bolt of lightning shot through you as you leaned into his touch, placing your hand on his shoulder as you climbed into his lap. percy seemed more than happy to have you there, his hands coming to rest on your hips so he could keep you steady.

you broke the kiss, hands slithering around his neck as you looked down at him with a small smile. you were about to say something when your attention was brought to the sickly sight of a line of fish outside the bubble once again. you yelped in surprise, stumbling back slightly and if it wasn't for percy's grip on you, you probably would've busted your ass.

percy looked behind him, slightly annoyed at the presence of the fish. it lingered for a bit longer before dashing off reluctantly. at which point, percy turned to you with a frown. you eyed him curiously.

"what?"

"he's going to tell everyone about the '2 demigods getting it on in the bottom of the sea'. "

[nereidprinc3ss]

so um, you’ve probably have been asked this many times but how do you start writing fanfic without cringing at yourself? i already feel silly for reading it. i noticed you have gained recognition outside of tumblr which i believe to be an achievement but i can’t allow myself to go through that.

i work in the finance sector at a big american firm, i can’t have my coworkers knowing i’m writing fanfic. i already get teased for watching disney animated films (which it’s not that bad) how do you deal with this? ik you’re still at college and ofc, this doesn’t mean you’re stupid but i bet you know what i mean? do you have some advice on this?

⚠️me not shutting the fuck up and getting way too personal below the cut

honestly at first i DID cringe at myself. i cringed so much that after posting my first fic in like november i dont think i posted again til january because i was writing and would just get so humiliated despite being alone and no one knowing who i was or what i was doing LOL but honestly the way i got over that was just to do it more because i truly love writing and why would i let feeling “cringe” stop me from doing something i love and that makes me happy? that would be so heartbreaking, life is hard enough, we deserve to do things we love and are passionate about without judging ourselves so harshly

as for not letting other people know well yeah i just don’t tell my friends or anyone ik in real life that i write fanfic lol, they know i love to write and they know im obsessed with spencer reid but that’s as much as i’ve told them! i know it’s a thing that maybe most people would consider “weird” but as someone who has a crushing fear of intimacy this is kinda my outlet lmfao. and it made me feel really insecure and weird at first but then i realized like… i try to be kind and caring and thoughtful, i have a lot of good qualities and the fact that i write fanfic doesn’t actually detract from any of them. it also helped for me to accept the reason why i write fanfic which is (and we’re abt to get real personal) i’m deeply afraid of intimacy of any kind and always have been so writing fiction abt the stuff i’m too scared to do isn’t a bad thing. there are a lot of people who wouldn’t understand it but they don’t have the same experiences as me and i don’t need them to understand it because i know that they never could. like they don’t understand what it’s like to so terrified of being known by another person that you obsess over the hottest guy in your school district for six months bc you want the validation of him liking you back and you do everything in your power to make him like you and then when he actually does reciprocate you immediately start icing him out to the point where he says hi at a party and you ignore him to his face cause you’re so afraid of men😂😂😂😂😂 they don’t get those vibes!!!

anyway basically you just have to remember that you’re doing it for you and it actually doesn’t mean something is WRONG with you if you enjoy writing and the safety and control that fiction offers you. it just means you’re one of billions of people living an entirely unique experience, just like anyone else, and honestly i think it makes you interesting. having hobbies and passions is rlly sexy and cool, regardless of what they are, and you deserve to do stuff you like doing. if anyone else is giving you shit abt it it’s probably because they genuinely don’t understand what it’s like to have interests and that makes me feel bad for them lol

[hydrangea-mon-amor]

Visit me, will you?

Yandere! Male OC x reader

Trigger warning! Yandere behavior, obsessive behaviors, non consensual touch, forced relationship, forced proximity, Murder (message me privately if you feel I need to add more)

Side note — if you read the trigger warning and still were triggered by the content (or any that I’ve wrote) please message me ASAP and tell me about it. This goes for all of my works, but I do not mean harm writing these stories and the content of my blog are dark and heavy. I DO NOT condone this behavior and if any of you see yourself in a situation like this I urge you to seek help.

AUTHORS NOTE: please everyone if you see yourself in a situation even slightly like this I urge you to seek help and assistance. There are actual creeps out in the world that pretend to be kind and good but really just leech off of you. And with a closing note, I do note condone any of the obsessive behavior in this fic! There is a distinct line of fantasy and reality and this work is pure FANTASY.

Summary! Your boyfriend has a game tomorrow and coerced you agree to come. The next day at school your friends had enough of your constant absence and forces you to hang out with them. You ultimately agree because in truth: this is what you needed, a day with them and not your boyfriend. You did not expect your boyfriend to get wind of this and the fallout that ensues.

— AGAIN IF ANY OF THE TRIGGER WARNING I LISTED TRIGGERS YOU THEN PLEASE DONT READ FURTHER.

Your uncomfortable.

You try to lay steadily in your stalkers boyfriends bed, but with how tightly his hands are wrapped against you, you can’t find it in yourself to continue. It doesn’t help with the fact that he’s sloppily giving kisses to your neck.

“Hey, could we maybe switch positions?” You try to urge, but it only had the opposite effect. His hold on you tightens and he leans in closer to you.

“I like this position baby.” You adamantly cringe at the pet name.

“Will you come to my game tomorrow baby?”

You know you can’t say no, the last time you did your boyfriend got so upset he cried for two straight hours begging you on his knees to reconsider. Claiming that if you didn’t come you didn’t love him anymore.

“Sure, I’ll see if my schedule—“

He tightens his hold.

You can barely breathe.

“You will come, won’t you?” He asks in a sweet tone but you know the true meaning.

“I-yes I’ll come.” His hold loosens and he continues coddling you.

You pray that he’ll let you go in a couple of hours. Because even that is a blessing from him.

✎……. ✎……. ✎……. ✎……. ✎……

The day of the game your at lunch at your boyfriends table. Which If your honest is just the popular kids all together. You try not to make eye contact with your boyfriends ex-girlfriend Valery. Her family is said to be really famous doctors with a hospital in your city. You don’t think she gives two fucks about you because honestly, she looked happier.

You would be too if you weren’t here.

“So Jaydee excited for the game?” Oscar, one of his best buds asks.

“Of course man, especially since I got my amazing boyfriend/girlfriend to come watch. You’ll cheer for us right honey?” You nod sheepishly. You can see his friends laugh.

“Nah, they made you their bitch man. You can’t go two seconds without talking to them.”

“Or fucking them.” Jaydee adds. You jab him at the shoulder. A silent plea to stop whatever he was doing.

“Aww look, you are embarrassed. Come on sweet cheeks, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” He kisses you lightly on the head.

You want to decapitate him.

“Anyways,” Valery is the one to switch topics, and deep down your glad it’s her. “On the topic of the game, when is it going to be held?”

“8:00 pm, and our coach is deciding to be an ass about it. He’s making us practice until then. Can you believe that? Almost six hours of practicing?” Some of his teammates share in his complaint. You’re not sure what to expect when he turns to look at you. “Will you watch me at practice? I’ll make sure to put in my all if you’re there. You know how happy I get.”

“So happy your broke a kids leg from the adrenaline.” You say under your breathe. But it doesn’t go unnoticed. But you know the real reason. Jaydee, your boyfriend, decided to break his leg because he noticed him looking at you and smiling. It wasn’t even more than one glance but in your boyfriends eyes it must have been thousands. He got away with it because for 1. He’s the quarter back and 2. Everyone in his team loves him. Especially is coach. You don’t think they know that he did it on purpose, and your not sure if you do.

“Oh yeah! I remember that day, Tyler had it coming if I’m honest.” Oscar gloats.

“Tyler definitely had it coming that day.” Jaydee adds not a second later.

Tired of this you decide to make a last ditched effort to leave. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” You inform.

“Okay, guys I’ll be right back I’m going to walk them off.” He gets up from his seat and readies himself to walk with you.

“That won’t be needed.” You tell him.

“But—“

“Jaydee, I know where the school bathroom is, I’ll be just fine. You don’t have to loom over me like a helicopter. It’s not like I’m going to go anywhere.” You stare at him, he stares at you.

“Come on man, just let them go. What’s the worse that could happen?”

“A lot.” He says under his breath.

“What was that?” Valery questions.

“Nothing.” He looks at you again, leans into you, making it look as if he’s going to kiss your cheek. “Let me go with you baby. You know how crazy I get if I can’t have you side by side with me. You don’t want let’s say Oscar to be my next blood bag would you? Let me come with you and nothing bad will happen.” He whispers in your ear. Softly touching your cheek with his hand.

“And if I don’t?” You whisper back, curling your fists.

“You wouldn’t want to know what happens. Trust me.” He leans out, holding your hand and smiling at you. His friends look expectant of an answer.

“On second thought,” it’s torture for you to say these words, “I think I would like to have Jaydee with me.”

“Really! Thank you honey I knew you wouldn’t upset me!” He pulls you into a soul crushing embrace. Swinging you side to side, you decide to just deal with it.

His friends grimace, “okay we get it you two love and fuck each other all the time! Get a room will you, wouldn’t want to disturb your momentum.”

“Aye aye coach.” Your boyfriend replies. His voice muffled from his face being smushed into the crook of your neck. You can’t believe how you got yourself into this situation in the first place.

You can’t deal with this so you simply take the lead and start walking, your boyfriend trailing after you like a lost puppy. Once he catches up to you he snakes his hand around you waist and kisses you on the head.

“Let’s take the long way.”

“Why?”

“Because then I can be with you longer.”

Of course, you think.

“Jaydee, I’ll be quick.” His lips turn into a pout. “Jaydee.”

“Babyyyyy” he whines.

“Jaydee, like I said I will be quick. Stop acting like a baby and wait.” You try to pry his hands away from you but he doesn’t budge.

“I’m only a baby for you.”

“Clearly” you mutter to yourself. You try not to let his sometime cringe behavior get to you but goodness is it hard.

From the corner of the hallway two girls emerge and once they notice the lean build of your boyfriend they come rushing down. You silently thank whatever god you believe in, thinking that this is what will give you leeway to leave. You know the girls well. In the past they were known to have massive crushes on your boyfriend and you’re thankful that their obsession over him isn’t over. It gives you hope that he’d leave you for one of them which would mean that you would finally be free.

Jaydee’s hold on you tightens.

Of course with their not so secretive crush your boyfriend would surely hear wind of this. You know how many times he’s vented to you about them, the many times he complained about them to you. But you had hope. You hoped he would like them one day and stop caging you in like a bird.

“Hello ladies.” He greets. A practiced smile on his face. Then they both lean in to give him a hug, even surprising you. You assumed the gesture caught him off guard because he then lets you go. You don’t waste this opportunity and bolt to the nearest restroom. Letting him deal with the two girls.

However, when you get inside the bathroom you notice the silhouette of two familiar students. Your heart rate picks up. When was the last time you hung out with them? When was the last time you hanged out with your own friends? Your hand instinctively reaches for the doorknob but you can’t bring it in yourself to leave. You can’t bring it in yourself to leave the people that were with you since day one. And if things couldn’t get worse their gaze fallows yours. Now you all stand there, unblinking and unmoving. Unable to do anything expect just take in the others presence.

“Y/n?” One of them calls, almost like a question. Their voice soft and sweet and so completely welcoming. It takes everything in you to not cry. You can’t understand how they are still so sympathetic to you.

“Hello…guys.” You are sheepish and you wish to curl into a ball. You remember the countless times you rejected their offers to hang out in favor of Jaydee. The guilt crashes down onto you like a wave and it almost drowns you.

“It’s been a while.” Your other friend says.

“It has, hasn’t it?” You agree.

The air is still for a while, none of you say anything for a protracted moment. Until your friend can’t handle it anymore and bluntly blurts out:

“Hang out with us. Come to the movies or something, play video games with us or fuck it take a walk with us just spend some time with your friends. Ever since you got a boyfriend seven months ago you been ignoring us like the plague, rejecting invites, blowing off our calls, ditching us—“

“And it’s been torture ever since!” You blurted.

“Y/n…” you seem to realize of what you just said.

“Never mind forget I said anything.” You turn to leave when you feel a hand clasping around yours.

“Movies at 8:00pm. Take it or leave it. But please take it.” You stare at them. They just had to pick the time that syncs with your boyfriends game.

“I’ll…think about it.” Your friends shake their head.

“No Y/n, you are coming.”

“But—“

“No if’s or buts you’re hanging out with us and that is final. No more screwing us off in favor for you dipshit of a boyfriend.”

“I—okay fine. I’ll come.” You turn your back with your friends smiling off their victory.

You step outside the bathroom your boyfriend waiting patiently. His feet tapping against the floor tiles, arms crossed and a ticked off expression.

“Those two bitches tried to get my number.” He states. Tugging you into his embrace. “You know how hard I had to try to get them off of me, how many time I had to remind them that I was already taken and belonged to someone else? That i belonged to you. But nooo, they wouldn’t let up and I just got so mad that I guess I kind of lost it.” He chuckles bitterly. But you start to get scared, and rightly so.

“Jaydee…what did you do?”

“Don’t worry about it baby, let’s go to class yeah? The bell is going to ring in a few minutes.”

The school day ends with Jaydee walking you to your locker. His arms on your shoulder matching your pace. When you first started dating him you thought it was cute but now you’re just revolted by it. But you don’t attempt to break up with him anymore, not after what happened the last time.

“Come to my practice in preparation for the game yeah?”

“Jaydee about that, I’m actually busy. Sorry but I can’t come.” His face drops.

“But…why? Was it something I did, why won’t you come?” You scan the area, grateful no one is in the hall you two are in.

“It’s nothing you did I just have plans.” He seems to prick up from this.

“Plans? With who? Where? Why? Why are you ditching me baby? I thought you loved me, I thought you loved us!” He’s getting more desperate now. Both of his hands on your shoulders, gripping you like he’ll die if he won’t. “I-I’ll get you anything you want! N-new shoes? I’ll just get my sister to buy it for you, she’ll understand. I-I promise! Please just come! C-come cheer me on! And then when the game is over we can go back to my house and play a movie and c-cuddle! Y’know, like what we always do!”

“Jaydee we always go to your house.”

“I don’t care you like it better, and it’s bigger.”

“Never thought you were the materialistic type.”

“Course not, my type is you.” You may have fallen for that if you actually loved him.

“Jaydee, I’m not going to be able to make it.” You try to say for the last time. He looks as if he is contemplating.

“Fine.” You’re shocked.

“Really?” He nods his head.

“Consider it a reward. You’ve been good since…the last time.” He’s referring to the time you tried to break up with him and leave. Like he would let you do that twice. “But,” he moves to hold your hands “you will come to my game. Promise me you will.” You clench your fists. Damn your friends, couldn’t have they pick a different time to watch the movie?

“Jaydee I’m sorry but—“

“Promise. Say that you will. I need to hear it, I need to hear you say that you’ll come. I think I’ll die If I don’t. You don’t want me to hurt myself would you baby? Of course you won’t, you love me! You wouldn’t want to the future father of your kids hurt because of you, now would you? But even then, if I did hurt because of you, I’d still love you. With. Every. Fiber. Of. My. Being.“ the worst part is, you don’t doubt him one bit.

“And If I don’t?”

“Then you won’t like the aftermath of what happens.” His attention is driven elsewhere when he notices his coach waving him over. “Have to go now sweet cheeks, meet you at my game?” You shakily nod. “See? That’s the angel I know.” He presses a kiss to your cheek before jogging off.

Do you listen to him and go to his practice to then sit through his game? No, you decide to listen to your friends and hang out with them instead.

✎……. ✎……. ✎……. ✎……. ✎……

You arrive to your house late into night, a smile widely spread across your cheeks. You’ve forgotten how fun it was to be with your own people instead of trying to fit into a friend group that you don’t belong in.

The whole time you were out not once have you used your friends. That is for two reason, 1. You didn’t want text messages disturbing your time with your friends and 2. You specifically didn’t want Jaydee’s texts filling your messages. Undoubtedly Sues that he would be inconceivably mad and irritated.

However when you decide to go to the bathroom you hear a ding on your phone. You decide that it’s time you finally check what’s been going on, but when you do you feel your heart sink.

JAYDEE AKA MONSTER: baby where are you? I don’t see you amongst the crowd.

JAYDEE AKA MONSTER: baby you said you’d come, why can’t I see you? Are you running late.

JAYDEE AKA MONSTER: sweet cheeks please respond I’m getting worried, I’ve asked everyone on my team if they saw you they say they haven’t.

JAYDEE AKA MONSTER: honey our game is going to start in a few minutes if I don’t see your face in the crowd I’m going to be upset. You don’t want me to be upset would you?

JAYDEE AKA MONSTER: baby?

JAYDEE AKA MONSTER: why won’t you answer me!

But none of these messages could amount to the absolute fear you feel from the last one.

JAYDEE AKA MONSTER: wow honey, I can’t believe this. Valery told me everything.

Delivered 10:17pm.

You fucked up. You know you fucked up. You look at your phone again, this time three little dots pop up making you aware that Jaydee has definitely seen that you’ve read his messages and he still has one last thing to say.

JAYDEE AKA MONSTER: Y/n, if you don’t want to be punished more than I intend to then I suggest you walk to my place now.

You don’t question him one bit.

When you get to his front porch you knock on Jaydee’s door five times. A few minutes later his sister opens the door, the famous model Dante.

“It’s you.”

“It’s me.” You’re sheepish. Dante looks behind her.

“You should get in before things get worse for you, Jaydee is not happy.” She leans back into her house and holds the door while you walk inside.

You forgot how mentally deranged his whole family is. You remember hearing a rumor in the news that Dante herself kidnapped someone. You don’t have the guts to ask her personally though.

“He’s in the basement.” Dante tells you, a popsicle in her mouth.

“Oh uh, thank you.”

“You won’t thank me after what you’ll see. That’s for sure.” You try not to let her words get to you but you also don’t take her lightly.

You’ve been to Jaydee’s house multiple times before, times where you were actually proud to call him yours. When this house felt like a second home, and you actually loved him.

You tiptoe until you get to the door that leads to the basement. Already you smell a metallic stench.

This isn’t good.

“Jaydee? I’m here! Please—please don’t do anything so rash.” Your voice is meek. Actually, you don’t think your voice had enough volume to it to be heard by anyone. You tiptoed quietly until you’ve reached the bottom. You wait a few minutes, and you don’t see the presence of anyone in here. But the metallic stench reeks the air and fills your nostrils. You can hardly bare it.

“Baby!”

You whip your head around.

“J-Jaydee? Is that you?” You can’t help but stutter. Your boyfriend is covered from head to tow in blood. His face is smeared in red and his clothes drenched. There is a steel knife in his hand, that too coated in blood.

He pouts.

“What? You’re saying you don’t remember your own boyfriend? Aww baby you’re so silly. If I didn’t love you the way I did, I think I would have gotten offended. Could thing I’m not though, right?” You stare at his blood soaked body and knife.

“Jaydee I don’t think this is—“

“Come come! I have something to show you.” He doesn’t give you time to speak, already he is tugging onto your arm. You use your free hand to clog your nose. He leads you to a cleared out space in the basement. For the hundredth time in this relationship your heart drops.

“Tada! Do you like my present?” In two tied chairs sat two people bound in ropes. Their eyes are gouged out of the sockets, layers of skin skinned off and in some areas burnt. Their bones are cracked in odd angles and pieces of muscle sliced from their bodies. If it weren’t for their clothes you’re not sure you would know who they were and the significance of them.

They were you friends. And Jaydee had just killed them. Tears prick at the sides of your eyes, how can you even begin to comprehend this? And worst of all, how can Jaydee look at you like this was your fault? A smile ear to ear plastered on his face. He finally drops the knife and in its place he reaches for you. He pulls you into his embrace, the blood on him now coating onto you. “Your reaction is enough to show me this was an adequate way to punish you. It’s okay, this is all you have to go through tonight. I promise I won’t make you feel like a burden in our relationship anymore.”

Burden?

You’re too caught up in your emotions that you haven’t even realized you’ve said that out loud. “That’s why you decided to not be with me today isn’t it? I give other girls and guys too much of an idea don’t I? That’s why you’ve decided to hang out with those…hindrances, because I wasn’t giving you enough attention right? Don’t you understand baby? I had to do this, I had to get rid of them. This is a testament to my love for you, don’t you get it? This was all for you.”

“But this wasn’t even about other people—“

He squeezes you tighter.

“Don’t you get it baby? I don't give a fuck about all the other girls, I've rejected them, all of them. You know why? Because I want you. The only person I need, really need is you. I love you darling.”

You cry bitterly into his shoulder.

“Oh, I almost for got to tell you. I have a final game next week, it’s supposed to close this season. Visit me, will you?”

[samuelroukin]

hi! not here in favor of you making Actual Books (i don't even read any of the newly published books anymore for reasons and reasons and reasons), just complimenting your work in general

i dont really care for cod at all but i really enjoy how you write the characters!! and tbh the only reason i watched some playthroughs of the games was so i could understand your work better. sure, fandom is the main reason people click in, but it's definitely not why they're staying. and it's not why people are writing paragraphs of praise to your stubborn ass even though you work so hard to never listen to any of it 💖

also id be enchanted to hear more about your ocs on future works or even here on tumblr!! you're great at creating made up people that actually feel real. they're pretty round (funnily enough that is the actual technical term), even when you don't tell us a lot about them

also 👀👀 say you have original stuff in mind?????? i would love love love love love to know more about that!! you're getting pretty darn good at worldbuilding and ambiance. better with each update now that you're trying out this AU thing. it would be infinitely interesting to see what you come up with when working with your own stuff only

anyway what i mean is. even though I don't quite believe in Published Books on this day and age, please know that your writing is definitely good enough for the editorial market (even more so now that those dark romance things are going mainstream and a lot of them read like the stuff 12yos post on wattpad. what tf is the deal with that? but I digress. out of those circles your work is still definitely good enough) it's legit like Good Work, even if the tiny mean bully whispering in your ear disagrees. it's good realism. good introspection. good porn and also good narrative and great junction of those. it's lovely seeing how far you've come in so little time and we're excited to see you reach new heights in the future (because you will, with absolute certainty, unless you stop. but i don't think you could really stop yourself at this point lmao)

and please know that achieving that level of quality with no help or instruction or training in so little time is a grand fucking accomplishment

point is: Who Care? We Care (even if we're not an enormous audience)(...yet?). and not just because it's cod

it's def a nice compliment to get thank u 🙏💖

and so is you reading my stuff without caring much for cod! though i wouldn't be able to write this much about them without (clearly) being completely insane about Them and the basis the games laid (haha laid) because without them i'd be nowhere at all, these characters are so. well they clearly took over my brain lol, though i worry a Lot about them being ooc when i write them 💀

i actually feel like my guys are so barebones and one dimensional rip, which is fine since i mostly created them as little more than a joke and they're just being used as set dressing, so that means a lot 🙏

my Main story is this sprawling urban fantasy thing, which if i ever did write it would need serious adjustments since it's. old and not aged very well. the gist of it was the main character (30 year old barista) has Visions, cue road trip with his bestie (ex bf from high school that he reconnected with years later) to figure out The Deal after they suddenly get much worse. it's about that on the surface, and below about dealing with missed chances and not living up to ur potential. it sounds stupid but i've been Thinking about it since i was like 14 so cringe is to be expected lol

lsklhkjhffghst yeah no offense to them but despite this fic being what it i i wouldn't really want to fall into that category even if that sound like i think i'm better than them (i'm not it's just not my thing. or i guess it is and i just have a superiority complex. anyway) um thank you once again 🥺i def feel like i haven't improved a lot but you're dead on about not being able to stop myself anyway lmao

idk why you're being this nice to me but 💖💖💖

[tiny-taffy]

im sorry, but am i the only one who found willow insufferable in this episode? (for the future?) i actually liked her, and i was all for developing her (and gus to an extent) but nooo!! not like this! she was just so cringe in this episode IMO. first in the scene where she was trying to act all reliable and tough for eveyone. i understand why she would feel like she had to put up this facade for gus. he's younger and of course she doesnt want to see her best friend sad. but.. why with hunter and the rest? no one asked you to do that! Even Camila asked her about it.

second, in the scene where she showed hunter the photo of flapjack, and he got sad. girl, i know you had good intentions but of course, he's gonna get sad. he's not magically going to get happy again. his bird died like.. 2 hours ago? he was about to cry!! and instead of comforting him, or idk letting him grieve, she says "oh im sorry! i didn't mean to make this worse! i'll be right back" like.. girl??

and then she runs off! omfg, this scene pissed me off. and now you have hunter there, feeling even worse and now he feels bad about being sad and making the others sad. wow, great job. instead of comforting your sad friend, you made everyhting about yourself. she felt like a pick me. i believe the scene would have been better if it went somewhat like this. maybe willow could have given the photo to hunter and still have him be sad. she could be feeling guilty, but instead of saying "oh sorry i made things worse" or whatever, she could have come up with a shitty excuse to leave the room (maybe ask mattholemule where the restrooms are? idk) and then have hunter notice the vines or something.

and then when they find her again with the mess of the vines. that scene was cool but.. willow stop doing your magic! please! for the love of god!(tho i'll give her a pass for that because she clearly wasn't in the right mind but... aaaaaa) it just felt so stupid the whole thing, considering there are biggers issues at hand. (collector, BELOS!) and then hunters starts comforting her (like how she should have done for him) and telling her all these nice things yada yada yada.

and then having willow blush at hunter after this scene in small moments felt very weird. like, up until that point shes has never done that before! it just makes it seem that the only reason she is blushing at him now and likes him is because he said some nice things to her. it just seems ehhh... like i said before, a pick me!

*Sigh* i really had high hopes for this episode. but it felt like a filler rushed episode.

a i guess.. to sum this all up, i feel like this whole thing was out of place. this whole stress thing and the missing of her parents would have suited episode one better in my opinion. after all, they had just entered the human realm, everyone is sad about leaving their friends and family. it would have made more sense in that episode that willow notices that everyone is sad, and then she tries to act all fine and reliable. it could have been more developed and we could have had small signs of this. it just felt rushed, out of nowhere and out of place.

also side note i didnt really like how they portrayed bosha as willow's main bully? her main bully was amity, not boscha. but thats another post for another day.

Dont like? Dont Read. Hate will be blocked.

[theoddest1]

i fear viv is like j*k*r -

there is evidence, proof, so so much of it. and even then, just her behavior alone, without the really bad stuff, is questionable to say the least. i dont know how to put it, but she and her fans act like 12 year olds on wattpad (i used to be one of those kids to some extent ik what im talking about here lmfao). it is a FACT she's horrible and disgusting (i could list a thousand other things here but the critical community already knows all this) and still people defend and dickride her. it is no lie that her fanbase is like a cult. i wonder if these people are actually completely oblivious or are just as horrid because the fact she's a horrible person is as clear as day. the fetish shit, her weird ass transphobia, her blatant disgregard to actual victims that aren't her fans, her drawing... that , her racism, her- should i go on? and i fear there is no consequences for BOTH these people- they will go on until they die without ever facing their actions and stuff. its disturbing.

its like j*k*r all over again. i sense a pattern here. not sure what kind, but its so fucking baffling how both are horrid and insufferable AS CLEAR AS DAY as people and HARM OTHERS and still get so much support. both need to be studied because what the fuck have they going on that protects them meanwhile some people on social media get cancelled for one sentence they said 17 years ago (not that that's not "valid" it's just baffling how some people get cancelled over the smallest shit meanwhile....) and these people get to enjoy their life without consequences while there's MOUNTAINS of proven evidence.

i feel like i discovered a goddamn alien baby the way im so fucking flabbergasted at all this.

anyways, sorry for the rant.

i hope you have a nice day/evening/morning/night!

Hey, no worries! Rant away! It's a very strange enigma for sure, and the fandon does indeed act like a cult! My guess for how Viv keeps getting away with all this stuff is that she has a parasocial relationship with her fanbase. The idea of landing a job or getting close with a creator with such a large following overrides any sense of reason or care for her actions, so people keep gassing her up because it could likely lead her to like or comment on their stuff. There's also the pseudo kind act she puts on, so people think she's the sweetest person ever when she has showcased the opposite. There's also a loooot of fandom bullying. Lots of the big dogs in the fandom bully people into silence or make em think they're in the wrong.

There's a WHOLE lot of control going on here, and thanks to her ass kissers logic is thrown out the window. Finally, there were the overblown posts highlighting things that, while weird or gross, aren't "cancelable" enough or downright exaggerations of the truth or lies. These threads on Twitter, especially back in 2019, did more harm than good and led many into believing there was a mob that simply wanted to cancel her for being popular. The threads consisted of her old cringe art (some are very questionable don't get me wrong) rather than the ones where she encouraged fandom bullying and made fun of a 15 year old fan for simply being critical of her work and called them nasty for it. No one did any research on her behavior or how she was an absolute bully to people like Starvader. Callouts need to consist of hard evidence so stuff like this doesn't happen, where your callout does more harm than good.

These factors led to many straight up turning off their brains and blatantly ignoring hard evidence. It's very, very stupid.

Also, who is the other person you mentioned? The only one that comes to mind is the guy who plays League of Legends and is famous for winning many championships.

[tbatthis]

been thinking about shi-long lang all day as one does and have said this in increasingly incoherent ways with the langnaheads but like. i think it's so so funny how hard he constantly contradicts himself out of pure spite for edgeworth when you first meet him in case 3 lmao like. okay insane rambler long post time

he makes a big deal about showing people proper respect when you greet them, then Immediately calls edgeworth a Filthy Prosecutor who sucks fucking ass. he talks about how he leaves all the lame shit like "logic" and "truth" to the stupid cringe prosecutors and their stupid cringe courts but he also wants to prove that he has really cool epic logic and reasoning because he's the best investigationman who ever lived.

he talks about how Courts And Truth Don't Matter, Just Arrest Any Freak You See but he is actually using entirely sensible logic to accuse people like "hey you're the only guy with an unaccounted-for gun and you've been standing directly outside the place the guy got shot in." like edgeworth gets very tilted about this because lang's a huge dipshit about it but functionally he's doing what edgeworth does in every mainline aa case he prosecutes in. he's basically just using reasonable deduction that would probably land the real killer in a normal case, but he has inadvertently stepped into ace attorney where every culprit is the glue man who has invented a special glue that allows him to walk up and down anything, so Of Course The Guy At The Scene Who Owns The Only Gun That Could Be Involved isn't the dude.

and like all of this adds up to "lang appears to be a huge asshole who arrests anyone and doesn't actually care if he gets the culprit" but he also keeps explicitly demonstrating that he takes the investigation seriously and does actually think about the case and who could potentially be the culprit in a logical fashion. he doesn't literally arrest every single person he sees. he does actually have reasons for his actions beyond Arrest Em All 1989. and again he literally refers to his line of reasoning as his logic.

so like honestly i think the answer to "why does he keep saying truth and logic dont matter and are for gay nerds like edgeworth" is that he doesn't actually believe that and is just so perpetually angry at The Courts and prosecutors that he's just spouting it because he thinks a prosecutor's use of "logic" is inherently suspect and they're trying to reason their way into pushing a lie on people. and because he is shi-long lang and is the most ridiculous man to ever exist this manifests in him talking like a cartoon bully shoving the science geek in the locker. so like the consequence is lang seems insane. and he definitely is because he constantly roleplays as a wolf. but in reality he is a lot more reasonable than he presents himself, i think he's just so far into hating The Courts that he doesn't like to associate what he's doing with anything that might happen in a courtroom. lang isn't using "logic" to find "the truth" he is using "the detainment philosophy" to find "the criminals" which is very different he swears. he is not like the stinky courts.

also i think there's something in how when he's being antagonistic to edgeworth about his methods he says it's fine to just arrest whoever because "hey everyone's done something wrong" but then the second shih-na starts getting accused in case 5 he just totally refuses to entertain the idea she could ever do anything wrong. so like either shih-na is his special exception due to the fact that he is in love with her as know or he was once again just spouting shit he didn't really think to piss off edgeworth lmao

basically i think lang comes off this way because he's coping hardcore and wants to make edgeworth mad. which i think is really really funny and adds a lot to his Dumb Guy Aura

[heroictoonz]

not going to comment on the ramcoa stuff? yeah thought not.

Crazy how I have a life and a job and didn't give a shit to respond to u when I'm busy n only scrolly tumblr idly but since u clearly got a thing for me ill bite cause you also need my opinions reexplained to you like a child

Also I googled ramcoa cause I didn’t know what that word means (i also didnt know what endo meant till like earlier this fuckin year cause everyone was being very loud and annoying about it) and all I got was "RAMCOA is an acronym for Ritual Abuse, Mind Control, and Organized Abuse." which like. what the FUCK are you even talking about mind control? fucking ORGANIZED ABUSE this is like classic cult aligned shit how does this even relevant to endos and that stuff. please tell me this is a word or acronym for something else that google isnt telling me cause just genuinely huh

listen i took a look at the link u sent i dont wanna post that cause i dont want ppl harassing others on the internet like you seem to want but just for the love of fuck listen to me for two seconds like honest to god read my words and let them sink in

the post you sent me i have literally no context for to me it looks like a shit post. ive made jokes like that before and i need to reiterate that they are JOKES and i am NOT ENDO and i say shit for goofs cause to me and my friends its funny. whether it is or is not a joke is, honestly, not my business. I dont know that person personally i dont know their life i dont know their story so i dont set it as my mission to find people i dont agree with and flip my shit at them. again. life. job. no interest. im 24 and literally not my job to babysit other ppl on the internet i block who i dont like follow who i do and live on w my life (which. highly recommended for all. you too Chuck. makes life so much more livable)

in regards to ur stuff about misinformation the way I see it is people will spread bullshit about just about every topic under the sun. it is, once again, not my job to go around "um actually" everything on the internet. if someone asks me a question i answer if someone im directly talking to has wrong information i try to correct them

When it comes to a lot of people, however, not many of them want to change their minds on things. sometimes some people arent even at a point of their life to be open minded and listen. which, im not gonna stress myself out to correct someone else. Even i had a point in my life where i was so hardheaded and full of hate (it was a weird cringe culture group i was in and didnt think for myself and honestly i caused a lot of damage in that time of my life and even now I regret it. But man thats life. And like if i try to correct and if they dont listen i go okay and dip after a point (which, for you. is prob gonna be here. cause im gonna say all my thoughts here and be done with this conversation honestly also work is suuuuuper busy rn like fr wish me luck w this summer season sobs) theres a part of me that hopes you will either see reason with this reply and chill out or you will continue to disagree with me but at least for both of our sanity stop messaging me either way i wont be replying again to you just so you are aware

now im just gonna be so fucking blunt here. do i believe endo is a thing? (ie: people can be systems without trauma) honestly? i dont know! here is how i see it; im not a medical professional. I have an interest in psychology i have a copy of the dsm5 cause im a nerd (its with my law books. again. im a nerd.) but im no scientist. at the same time; i dont really trust medical professionals all that much? i would like to. really i would. but it always feels like so many of them dont take the time to actually try with diagnosis. too many people of color or fat people and shit like that always say that they are constantly misdiagnosed or ignored due to predigests. again, because i was born a girl i was never diagnosed properly when i was a kid. this happened twice actually! and even then ive had to deal with doctors and therapists who dont believe me even WITH a formal diagnosis to my name. ive had a therapist tell me that i DIDNT have bpd because i was, in her words, "too nice" and she refused to start me on cbd insisting the doctor was wrong. its scary as fuck honestly. plus, like i said in the last post, mental health is so under researched. which is also so scary to me. theres so much that doctors dont know. that WE dont know. theres so much that doctors get wrong. sometimes cause theyre only human and sometimes cause they willfully ignore patients.

so, the way i see it, is that maybe you can have a system without trauma or maybe you cant. i dont know personally and where i stand i dont know how much credit i would put to research done on a mental disability that is still to this day so disgustingly stigmatized and viewed as dangerous or scary. ive seen split. i know david haller (i like david haller but also every time i think about the live action show or how they really treat him as a character i sob in my little heart every fuckin day man fr) so to me i chalk it up to 'fuck if i know' and move on.

The other thing is that since i personally am not an endo in my head i also have no evidence to form a hard opinion on this at all. Again, my system DID come from trauma. In fact, for most of the system mates i can pinpoint exactly which traumas and/or parts of my life they came from (some i dont but i am also pretty sure im missing a very large chunk of my middle school memories so who the fuck knows) but honestly. if you have a hard opinion on the yes or no here thats fine youre intitled to your own opinion ig

but you shouldnt harass people on the internet or accuse them of being fake. this is what my problem is with anti-endos.

This has also been my like, whole side of this conversation. Which is why im really begging you to listen and read my words cause i very much think you are reading me wrong here. I literally couldnt give less of a shit about your personal opinion on this kinda stuff. Like i dont know you were not friends you’re a random anon on the internet. You disagreeing with me does not phase me one bit. I clearly have stuff to say but thats just cause i talk a lot and like to share my thoughts more than anything else. Honestly. You can send me a like one sentence question and ill accidentally reply with an essay. Have you SEEN the rants ive been on lmaooo

What does frustrate me, is that you feel the need to harass people and accuse people of faking stuff for attention with NO fucking thought. When you sent your first anon i can only assume its cause i reblogged my friend Wendy’s post about endos and syscourse (i hate syscourse so much but MAN that is a good fucking play on words it almost makes me mad lol) you asked if i had did/osdd and i said yes and you IMMEDIATELY went into my asks and accused me of being 1) an endo and 2) faking for attention despite that neither of those can be inferred by my answer especially when i 1) never once said I WAS endo personally (because. Again. Not) and 2) i specifically explained in my first response (thinking u were just a good natured random) that while, yes, i am a system, i dont talk about it very openly or much at all only vaguely mentioning it here n there on my personal blog when i feel the need or want on a specific topic (like when i made a joke post about being a system and watching RvB and the Meta who is this character that has a buncha AI crammed in his head). If anything, it makes you more fuckin wrong cause me NOT mentioning being a system almost ever shows more to the light that im NOT focusing on wanting attention or shit like that if anything i think i make more jokes about being autistic and trans. Are you gonna accuse me of being fake trans and fake autistic just for attention? Because i talk about it more? No, cause that would make like zero sense. (Unless u want to ig tho honestly i think being called a fake trans would be so funny as anon hate like genuinely that would make me snort i think. Guy who uses he/him and openly talks about having periods and shit like that accused as fake trans rguireghrhuigr)

To me, at least, you have already proven that your ideology is flawed. Your method of pointing out ‘fakes’ and ‘attention seekers’ is just really nonsensical. Either that or you do honestly have the reading comprehension of a five year old. The oooonly reason i could maaaaaybe see you thinking im ‘attention seeking’ is when I vaguely mentioned in the tags of that first post that I had a system specific blog however i also 1) do not advertise it nor did i put the name of it on that post OR ask you to follow it and 2) admitted that its barely ever used. Again, still making no sense to your accusation

And like, honestly, at the end of the day, accusing people you dont know on the internet just by random posts they post or terminology they identify with for being fake is just so, in your own words, gross. You dont know these people’s lives. You dont know what they’ve been through. Again, completely ignoring whether you can or cannot have system without trauma my original long response talked about how the person identifying as endo might actually have trauma and not know/recognize it as such and by harassing them you are only making everything worse for them. You LITERALLY do not know these people. You dont know me and you made that very clear when you were so crushingly wrong about me by literally just the second anon you sent.

As someone who deals with the anxiety and fear that i am secretly a fake and dont know it, not just about being a system but like. A SHIT ton of stuff in my life, it does not help when random fucking people come accusing me of that exact fear. Going back to that therapist who tried to tell me she didnt think i had bpd it took me SO FUCKING LONG to accept i did in fact have bpd after that. And it was fucking painful to deal with mentally. When every sign in the motherfucking book pointed to YES i have this thing but all it took was ONE woman with a degree to tell me i was ‘too nice’ and suddenly my world fell apart. I no longer felt like i had a name to the feelings and thoughts i was suffering from. Dude that shit SUCKS it is SO painful and stressful. Like literally, please, for the love of all that is holy, do not inflict that on others. You might think youre bringing justice in some weird way but theres a higher chance that you are hurting people just as much as you seem to think endos cause hurt.

Now, because i know you SO DESPERATELY wanna know my opinion on the post you sent in the unanswered ask, honestly? I dont know how much i agree with that persons post. Like. Playing in the field of maybe that was an honest to god opinion and not just like a joke they were making, really not sure how i feel about it. In my opinion, i wouldn’t be running around trying to get my brain to spawn in more little fuckers to deal with. But i also have a lot of mixed feelings about being a system and my headmates. For one i dont get along with all of them, and not all of them get along with each other. Shits really annoying and in some extreme cases stressful as fuck. Every time something new pops into existence, I’ll be real, im kinda scared. I dont know how things will once again change or shift. And my head is just a single head. Its one brain that now has to deal with so much going on i get a lot of headaches and dissociate sometimes even in the middle of doing things or talking to people cause shit will just randomly become chaos (tho im sure other mental things attribute to all that too here n there idk) but I wouldn’t say i hate being a system. I also dont think id ever wanna do that like fuse therapy shit and get rid of the others. Both out of a fear of losing myself and a fear of losing some of them. That shit sounds kinda scary to me. And where, yeah theres some that i dont get along with, there are others that i do get along with! And love a lot! I jokingly call some of them my siblings cause a lot of them have been around since i was a little kid (tho ill admit for a while I thought i just had a REALLY strong imagination and that for some reason my imaginary friends kept talking to me even as an adult till i finally realized hm. Maybe this is not the case. Lol) so like ya you’ll never see me honest to god saying ‘man i wish i had MORE random bastards in my head’ but like, thats just me

I’ve met so many systems and a lot of them are different. I’ve met some that WANT to fuse (i dont think thats the word they use for that therapy but i just got home from a stressful 8 hours on The Grind so I can’t think words all too well lol) ive met people that LOVE being a system people who hate it people who are pretty indifferent to it. I’ve met systems who are have a different person fronting every day ive met systems where you almost never see or hear from the others and its just primarily the host that takes charge. So many different people feel differently about the same things. That’s just life. But I am not gonna use ONE post randomly shown to me to 1) make an assumption on someone (especially something as harmful as faking) or 2) as a valid reason to harass them. Especially not when the person showing the post to me has only acted hostile towards me. Like honestly. Genuine tip here, being rude and mean to people is not how you try to change their minds or try to educate them on something. Walking into my house and telling me im the fake hedgehog just cause of one post and one answered ask and then trying to tell me im wrong is like so not the way my guy fr

I’m pretty sure ive said my entire peace on the matter here. So yeah, again if you send me any more anons i wont be answering them. I’m saying this just to try and save you some time and also some peace of mind. Honestly, please block me. Please forget my existence and go live your life. Its honestly worrying how you have now spent like two days in my anons about this shit, like i am not even joking like the joke is over please please please finish reading this, block me, and go watch one of your favorite comfort movies and smile i mean this so seriously

[whumpshaped]

are you religious? On account of all the recent bible posting. I'm not Christian myself but I have to hand it to them, the whole "eating Jesus's body and drinking his blood" is really cool

im actually not! well. idk. reading the bible and talking abt it rly makes me wanna be christian again.

tl;dr i am considering accepting jesus christ into my heart but i dont know if itll happen bc whenever i type or say anything slightly religious i cringe or make it into a joke. also sorry to any christian who finds my bible posting

i was raised catholic, went to church and bible study for 3 yrs, did my first communion, then dipped bc it was horrid. i was so so against being catholic u cannot imagine. i was against church, i was against begging some man in the sky for mercy, i was against their gay policy, i was against saying my pets had no soul- i was against absolutely everything except some bops in church

then i had my first big voluntary christian phase at 13-14 in which i drew more towards protestantism and attempted to read the bible cover to cover (i failed but theres a lot that i read.) i went to a lutheran hs for 2 yrs in seventh and eighth grade so that mightve influenced it tho i HATED monday morning worship at 7am and i cant believe its still happening even tho ppl routinely fainted and shit. bc u have to stand. the whole time

i also wanted to be a nun for a goooood while but turns out im just aroace and autistic (chastity and rigid rules sounds amazing to me huh)

so im 21 now and i started writing my angel demon story and i wanted to make heaven a cult like dystopia (and it turned into my own ranting at some points) and i wanted to give cassael actual bible-accurate problems. bible-accurate brainwashing lol it came to me because something i said abt them either on here or in rp made me remember that verse abt the yoke and stuff (my yoke is easy and my burden is light) and i was like wait i should read the bible and pick out the whumpiest worst most horrid most easy to misinterpret and turn horrible verses. so here i am.

but then i got rly rly into it. its remarkably easy to enjoy the story when im not reading the 1908 károli translation and spending all my spoons untangling the wording. and the thing is, i was always spiritual yknow. thats why i bounced so much between faiths and beliefs. ive followed the law of assumption stuff for a year or so now, i had genuine results from it- honestly everything i believed in has yielded good results for me always. whether it be christianity or paganism or loa. when i read the bible i DO feel loved even thru the incredible amount of horrid shit god does lol i felt loved at 13 and i feel loved now. so idk. im withholding judgement until i finish reading it but honestly nobody be surprised if i go back to my christian bs before the semester starts

oh thats another thing. im miserable lmao so not very hard for god to swoop in and be like hey do u wanna talk abt ur lord and saviour. me.

but im not rly gonna change in any way even if i do decide that tho, i think. my policy is already "be kind do good leave others alone". i dont think im gonna get preachy on here or anything. i mean has anyone seen much vegan posting from me? so i think im good

so . yea. sorry it turned into such a long post

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

ok its me again hi AAAHHHH this is so nice i feel so warm im lying on my bed kickin my lil legs i cant believe this thank you for being nice omgggg now im on a roll im gonna say things about julian hkdhjgdgjf

only one song really that i scanned the whole tag looking for to see if anyone said it before and i was so surprised that i didnt find it and i went to check the official playlists on spotify cause maybe its on there already and thERE ISNT ONE WHAT???? i had the muriel one liked on here and id never checked any other ones out lmao but like i swear there had to be one?? like maybe they made it first and its somewhere separately??? julian is like the most popular one how the hell does he not get a spotify list is that how this tag was created?? *gasp* am i discovering the ~fandom lore~

(just gonna say you dont actually need to answer any of that in detail dont waste your time gksgkydgjf im just screaming into the void cause i was so flabbergasted after those 3 whole minutes of research i put into this)

ANYWAY the actual song would be House of Wolves by our lord and saviour MCR! its so good for him with his whole Woe is Me drama king vibe lol and the plaguey thematicssss mmmm delicious TELL ME im a BAD BAD BAD BAAD MAAAAN aight you lil masochist i see u and the "you better run like the devil cause they never gonna leave you alone" you get it caUSE HES A FUGITIVE DO YOU GET THE DEEP UNRAVELABLE METAPHORS DO YOU GET IT DO YOU G aight shut up hkhfjtdy anyway

ok i lied jystfhte heres another one i just remembered i really wanted to put here its not new but just in case somebody hasnt seen it yet lmao its such a masterpiece ill do anything to give it its due here ya go

https://youtu.be/61HltPN_k3g

and the other thing im really glad to have seen people mention here is musical songs cause thats one of the things i love about him the most like yass we love a thespian king slay grl so then anytime im binging a musical there always come the intrusive thoughts of "aw hed love this one" and "oh hed be great for this role" like i went to see f-ing swan lake with my f-ing grandpa and one of the major takeaways i got from the experience was (UH IM GONNA PUT A SPOILER WARNING HERE? I GUESS? IN CASE ANYONE CARES HELLO JULIAN BAD ENDING SPOILERS AHEAD DO MOVE ALONG NOW IF YOU DONT LIKE THAT AVERT YOUR GAZE CITIZENS LMAO LIKE YOU HAVENT SEEN FANARTS N ADS ALREADY ALRIGHT ALRIGHT) "omg jules would be so perfect as that bird guy villain IN HIS BIRD GUY SHAPE TOO OMG WITH THE WINGS ON STAGE THIS IS AWESOME WHY CANT I DRAW GOOD GODDA-"

anyway hed love hadestown (hed at least try to cast muriel as hades cause hes perfectly intimidating for it but theres way too many lines which okay Maybe but AND he has to sing???? nah hes out bkgdhkdt) i dont know what hed think of pierre natasha & the great comet cause its maybe a little eccentric i suppose but i think hed appreciate the cultural roots of the vibe with him being fantasy ruso-slav-ukrainian-whatnot heritage i reckon and hed definitely have a blast at a live performance and hed ABsolutely join in with the actors in between the rows at some point and theyd ABSOlutely let him cause hes that good and game recognize game cmon hes gonna show you amateurs what a real kazotski looks like

i can also see him enjoying sweeney todd, for its delightful edgyness, maybe even some themes relatable for him, and his sappy ass would SO memorise Pretty women to whip it out at an opportune serenading moment khgdturshc im so cringe and loving it

well i cant think of any more shows to throw him together with so thus ends my soliloquy wow i cant believe thats how you spell that anyway i hope anybody who knew what the hell im talking about enjoyed all that jgfztits see you in another 20 minutes when i come back like "AND ANOTHER thing-

Yay, it's the character song essays anon!! :D

I'm glad to see you back, and I will once again be re-linking the song you shared below and adding your suggestions to the tag ^.^

And frankly, I'm 76% certain that one of Julian's love languages is theatre, especially musical theatre. That could be tickets, that could memorizing the lines from one of this favorite scenes and reciting it back to him, it could be showing up to every single performance he's involved in :)

I'm glad to see you back in my inbox, friend, feel free to message me if you ever want to obsess over the characters together! Cheers -

brainrot

[nonbinarygerard]

this is a rant about AI generated art because I am enraged.

if you want to hear a professional artist speak on AI art more elegantly than me then I highly recommend Steven Zapata’s video. he said everything better than I ever could: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjSxFAGP9Ss&t=5s

the more i learn about AI art the more i literally believe in like 10 years or so we will somehow live in a worst capitalist dystopia where most artistic professional jobs don't exist. You pay a subscription fee to some AI company that just spits out art, movies, comics, novels etc whatever you want on mass, so fast, that art will be personalised to you as in you know how google and other companies track you everywhere on the internet well so will AI companies. they’ll know you more than you know yourself. their algorithms will be fine-tuned just to ur tastes. you won't even need to type in prompts, it will do it for you and show you hundreds, thousands, of art in your feed. You can scroll forever and the algorithm will just make more art. the AI will be so trained to keep ur retention, making ur session time longer and longer and you’ll lose more hours.

Like how many tiktoks do you actually remember? vs how many hours do you stay on the app? do you think the time you spend on tiktok is worthwhile? i use tiktok as an example bc that's only the start of how good AI algorithms can get. give them a few more years with more silicon valley companies competing to be the next big app and they’ll get smart and better in ways you can never imagine.

in the eyes of companies, humans make flaws and humans take too long to make art. it's ripe for automation. companies don't give a fuck about real art and human expression. they only care about profit, profit, profit. what all tech companies want is ur time, your attention, they want to fill all ur waking moments with their products. literally billions of dollars have already been put into AI and though some of the AI art right now might be cringe or just funny, it wont be at some point. In a few months, years, decades, who knows, it will a lot more indistinguishable from human art. that's going to be a problem. you're not going to be able to avoid it because you're not going to be able to what was made by a human and what was made by an AI.

you may think that humans will stop watching or consuming AI art that is bland and seems well AI generated but thats the thing, it will always evolve. In fact companies might just make up fake people to say it was made by and you will never know how much of it was made by humans and how much was made by AI algorithms. if you dont think at some point a bunch of big budget movies, video games, tv shows etc wont be written by AI when it's possible to create a script that doesn't seem like it's written by an AI then you’re crazy.

its going to be a lot harder to make living if you’re not one of the top artists because how the fuck do you compete again AI. you can’t and that’s the point.

its so fitting for evil capitalists that they would rather fund billions of dollars into AI that was designed to replace artists than ever pay artists fair wages.

i dont think people will stop creating art but i do think that a lot of professionals are going to find a hard time keeping their careers without serious changes. you really cant become a master of ur craft without being a professional artist, it just takes that long to gain the experience, knowledge and insight to walk in the footsteps of the masters before. thats what art is. hard work, dedication and discipline. its not something that only a divine few who have the gifts of the gods can do. anyone can become a master artist it just takes devoting ur life to pursue your craft and what a fucking insult it is for billionaires to just fund their extreme amount of money into some goddam shaddy af AI companies to replace professional artists' job, well thats their hope anyway.

this isnt the same like photography was to painting or digital was to traditional. its true that those technological innovations did destroy a lot of jobs but also created new artistic jobs, and they did have massive effects on the industry and i dont want to minimize the number of people who’s careers were destroyed bc of it. But those were massive changes in tools. They didn't actually replace the concept of artists themselves. AI is meant to do as much, if not all, of the artists work for them, so artists don't need to exist in a professional sense.

why would a games company hire concept artists if an AI can come up with hundreds of different concepts in a matter of seconds? maybe human artists might be better but when the AI is good enough a company won't give a shit.

I dont know when this change will happen or how it will occur and how people will react to it but mark my words these AI companies are going to try to make it happen while maintaining the face of just their just simply pushing human progress and this was somehow just a natural evolution of technology.

none of this was natural it was funded by billionaires.

this is not even to mention how these AI’s train on copyrighted artworks with no permission from the artists. and this process is not like how humans learning from other artists, AI’s dont think, they just copy, steal, combine artworks very fast and on mass scale in away no human could ever do. You cant compare how AI’s and how humans learn. there are not the same no matter how big shot programmers try to make them more similar, AI is a machine we could never do what it does. and it is stealing from artists every time it generates art.

I study programming and literally you dont even know the number of jobs there are in AI. its a field that's expanding every day. it's not just a few companies but every big tech company putting massive resources into it. for them, algorithms are the future of humanity.

I am not saying there isn't some actually usefulness in AI created images for example i think getting insane highly specific poses and references at the click of a button is extremely useful but that's just a by-product of what these AI companies want out of their product. they are meant to replace artists' jobs by the click of a button. that's their dream.

AI companies dont care about integrity or intention or the artistic cannon or mastering one’s craft. Companies don’t pour billions of dollars into a technology just for it to be used for meme culture or quirky images. Every time you type in a prompt you are training the AI, its how neural networks work, by releasing them for free to the public you are training the AI for them. and they will train faster than you ever thought. i cant even imagine what the AI images will look like this time next year and they will improve drastically. mark my words.

You are a fool if you dont think AI won’t have a massive and very dystopian effect on society. Capitalism is somehow killing art even more.

maybe you think I’m being dramatic and I hope I am wrong but there is no doubt that AI generated art will change commercial and professional art as we know it.

[cutecherrygirl]

Hi.

Ill start writing more for maknae line after this one lol. And also, should I start writing smut again? Let me know in the comments<3

Skz Hyungline imagine

You break up.

Warnings: sad, agnst, cringe, 😞

Bang Chan

"Y/N, this isn't right. The spark is gone. I dont want to pretend." Chan told you. You felt tears roll down your cheeks. "How long has it been, Chan? Maybe I was never enough. Maybe that's why uts gone. Because of me. That's why, isn't it?" He has a sad look in his eyes "Y/n. Its not you. You were enough." "Dont, Chan. Skip the whole 'its not you its me' thing. Because I've heard that before, okay? Amd if I were enough, wouldn't the spark still be there? Wouldn't you-" Youchole on a sob "- Wouldn't you still love me?" "Its not you. Trust me. I loved you." "And I love you. But I can't force you to feel the same." A humorous chuckle escapes your lips "Well, I hope you find someone who will be good enough." He has to hold himself back from hugging you. It would be like hugging a friend. "Im sorry." And just like that,he left.

Lee know

"Im tired of this, Y/N! Im tired of always coming home and having to spend time with you because you need attention!" Minho spat. "Well, im so tired of you drinking and coming home where I have to take care of your sorry butt." You frown. "Really? Because you dont seem to mind the money." "Lee Minho I never cared about the money! I neber cared if you were in a band or not when I dated you or when I met you. I always tell you to not buy me anything!" "Im so tired of you pretending to be selfless!" "Im so tired of you accusing me!" "Im so tired of you!" Minho yells. You froze blinking away the tears. "Fine, then ill just go." You walk out the door, calling your friend to ask her if she could pick ur your belongings.

Changbin

"y/n! What is this!?" Changbin asked, tossing his phone to you. You caught it starled. You looked and saw a photo of you and JYP. In the photo, you were kissing his cheek. "Binnie, thats not real." "It certainly looks real! Are you really cheating on me? You're not even freaking out." "Because this has happened before, remember?" You stood up " Binnie, why would I ever cheat on you? I thought you trusted me!" "I did! But who know's if you're lying? Maybe you're just looking for fame" he frowned. Youstared at him in disbelief " do you realize how stupid that sounds? If I ever wanted fame, I would have dated Idols before you!" "Who says you didn't Y/N!?" He spat. "I do! You know what? Why am I trying? Goodbye Seo Changbin!" You glared at him , before running to ur room and starting to pack. Once you were done, you stared at him right in the eye. "I hope you actually believe your next girlfriend." You walked away.

[blinkvlink]

ub watching eurovision

im going to be using eurovision 2021 for this since it was my favourite from the last 10 years so beware.

Adam/Ava

Would act like they are not really interested but would actually get very invested.

I think their favourite would be France's 'Voila' not only because it's in french but because it's just a simple nice ballad. (Also if them and the detective are..uhm...involed the lyrics could be....relatable)

Would get incredibly competitive during the voting. Would never actually cheer when a country gave France 12 points but their whole body would tense and they would just whisper 'yes!!' under their breath.

they would be so smug omg. they would be sooo sure that france would win. their smug smirk would be DESTROYED the second italy got their televotes.

would get mad that cyprus and greece gave points to each other and would go 'of course you fucking would.'

would get even MORE MAD that france lost and got 2nd place. Farah/Felix would tease them about it during the whole night while they grind their teeth together and proceed to break something of the detective's :(

Farah/Felix

They would have so much fun oml. The best person to watch eurovision with.

that being said i dont think they would know what eurovision is lol (but would force the entire team + tina to watch it live once they found out)

Dances to every song that has a danceble rythm. sings along most of the time whenever they understand (they would just dance so HARD to ukrain man)

I think they would like 10 years by Iceland the most. It's just their whole vibe in general and also if they are in a relationship with the detective they would want it to be 'their song'

i feel like they would know who flo rida was, so they would just go 'wHAT IS HE DOING HERE???'

would attempt that high note from israel but would stop when Morgan/Mason threataned to punch them through the wall.

i feel like they would like ukrain, lithuania, malta and germany too. they would burst into tears the moment they saw that middle finger costume

would cheer whenever someone gave 12 points to Iceland or and just scream when they got their televotes.

would be confused about A being mad about the cyprus and the greece thing and A would have to explain the whole thing to them.

but in general i think there wouldn't be a performance they didn't like (except england, they would make fun of england so bad bro) and they would still be like 'yay!!' when italy won, would never shut up about france losing though, just to tease A

Nate/Nat

would be very excited and interested, say that it's about celebrating differences and just enjoy the vibe.

i think they would like songs that had parts in them that represented their country, as they would believe that's what eurovision is all about.

that being said...their favourite would still be portugal lol. i feel like that's something they would enjoy. but they would enjoy switzerland, azerbeijan and ukrain as well as france (i actually think france could be their favorite as well? idk) . i feel like they would be a little shook after ukrain lmao. like '....oh! that was pretty nice!'

would cringe physically once they saw england. would lowkey refuse to watch it as F made fun of them

would still be shocked and lowkey offended when UK got 0 points though LMAO

they would be still happy with the end results and try and not laugh at A's reaction.

Morgan/Mason

would be extremely uninterested until 1.greece's performance and they would go...wtf was that and would be uninterested again until 2. finland would come along and they would be like 'hmmm. ok i guess thats cool.'

their favourite would def be italy. that's when they would pay full attention and lowkey tap their feet to the rythm

would have to leave the fckn room when israel pulled that high note and be convinced to come back, would seriously be tempted do so again once switzerland came along

they would smirk when italy won but wouldn't say anything, would just enjoy their small victory from the sidelines.

[dballzposting]

TBH Yamucha has always hated Vegeta with such passion, like hes familiar with the curve of bad guy -> good guy and hes not so stubborn that he cant see the good that Vegeta has done, but GODDAMN, yknow? Yamucha can move on but it's not like hes under any obligation to FORGIVE Vegeta for anything.

And he had gay sex with him ONE (1) time and had said "come back anytime," but he didnt really mean it that much. It's just polite to say. You know how Yamucha is . He drinks a little whiskey and then feels no qualms with having gay sex with Vegeta. And he will in fact maintain a conversation with him about it for as long as Vegeta will allow, to any end.

But I SERIOUSLY BELIEVE that Yamucha can NOT talk to Vegeta before hes had something to drink. After hes had atleast a little of any type of alcohol, he loosens up, and can freely converse with Vegeta without feeling bitter and/or losing interest. This usually is not a problem however becasue Vegeta never goes out of his way to converse with anyone, and alcohol is always being served at the functions where they may cross paths.

And it's not like Vegeta is especially keen on cheating on his wife again or admitting to hinself that he wants a hot boy summer with that tasteful slag who is pushing 40 (or is like 45 I dont keep track of eras and ages that well...) and dresses like a used car salesman. But when Yamucha is up there on karaoke night with Oolong and Krillin, Vegeta is strangely not complaining or cringing as much as he usually is. And when Bulma hosts a summer event, Vegeta hides behind corners and stares at Yamucha's legs in his tiny summertime shorts.

Sorry I keep posting about Yamucha and Vegeta having gay sex ... Honestly every time I make a post that ISNT about Vegeta having gay sex I feel a bit of pride becasue I feel like it's such an overdone topic, I appreciate the variety.

Anyway. When Vegeta starts to actually ask Bulma questions and listen to her stories, she is delighted to see how far hes come along. But then she notices that hes really mostly just asking about Yamucha. What Was It Like. Why Did You Like Him. What Did Love Feel Like? Do You Feel The Same About Me? Do You Think That First Love Is Special? Do You Regret Leaving Him?

And like some of those questions would be typical of a sentimental, melodramatic, brooding, sensitive, curious husband. Vegeta isnt exactly those things tho. And she doesnt understand what vein of curiosity hes coming from when he asks What Was It Like type questions. She appreciates being able to tell her story, and she'll spare the details she thinks are relevant, and then he'll be like "Was he as hot as he says he was? I mean, at karaoke night he was blabbering about how be was adored for being a stud when he was younger and had more vitality." And she laughs and goes "I wouldn't say THAT, but he was cute enough" and Vegeta asks "Did you like him. What was it like to kiss him..." and shes like............. "I dunno Vegeta why dont you find out for yourself. What're you drilling me for, you writing a book?"

Cue his angry blushing. Bulma's just getting testy becasue she wants to talk about HERSELF not about Yanucha's toned baseball player legs. She is conversing with her husband not having a gossip session with the other wives at poker night.

Bulma defintiely thinks in self-absorbed ways, so when she catches Vegeta sitting and staring at pics of Yanucha in a photo album (this one literally taken at their last outing like it was not long ago...), all she can conclude is that the reason he keeps asking about Yamucha is that hes wondering why he left.

"Admit it. You're wondering why he was able to let me go. You're having doubts about our marriage, arent you? You're wondering what it is about me that sends people away. Well, you've known me long enough. What is it that you're coming to dislike about your perfect wife? SPIT IT OUT, Vegeta - why do YOU think that Yamucha didnt put a ring on it when he had the chance?!"

And Vegeta is just like. "He left so that he could have gay sex with other men." This is not quite a fact but it did defintiely play out that way. He knows this becasue of the long conversation he and Yamucha had that one time about gay sex with men.

Bulma is not expecting to hear this. Vegeta not only used the word "gay" but he used the word "sex" too. This is quite shocking for the man who has always considered casual talk of sex and sexuality and even love at large to be too vulgur to be permissible.

She doesnt know what shes supposed to make of that. She thinks that maybe hes making fun of her somehow. It really is one of the weirder things that shes ever heard him say.

Anyway. Yamucha never hits on Vegeta ever again and Vegeta feels the pain of having been played by a summerboy :( if Bulma found out shed be so mad at Yamucha A.) For fucking her husband and B.) For breaking his heart. Look at him sitting there like a kicked puppy. He married his first lover, he doesnt know the bittersweet pain of a boytoy's love. SO WHY DID YOU TEACH HIM ?! You fucked up a perfectly good Vegeta is what you did. Look at him. Hes got sadness now