#and i am halfway done. 13-14 chapters left to write

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I FINALLY FINISHED ACT 2 OF MY LONGFIC AND IT IS 59K WORDS LONG AT ONLY 5 CHAPTERS LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO i am so sorry i hope you guys like long af chapters because that's all of Act 2. :~)

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Big Bang (Sort of) Editing Story [Day 54]

I started writing this fic while editing my Big Bang story, but am going to continue doing it for other things now that Kill Dear is out. I will write and publish 100 words of the story every time I finish doing whatever task I’m doing. If you’d like to block these proceedings, please feel free to block the tag proofread stories. I will reblog this post with the parts of the story I do today. Edited chapters are linked; everything else I’ve done so far is under the cut.

My Master Post Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22

It’s a cleaning day and then maybe an editing day later for what I wrote last night, so we might be doing this for a while (assuming nothing gets in my way.)

Chapter 23

Logan was unsurprised that after showing Virgil the large courtyard, Patton almost immediately decided to instigate a game of tag. They were, after all, here with the goal of getting Virgil a bit active after having had him only in Logan’s room for weeks.

He was also unsurprised that Virgil seemed confused about the concept of tag, and Patton had to explain the game in detail to him.

It made him wince, but he still was unsurprised when Virgil went about inquiring after the consequences of losing the game.

He was, however, very surprised when, after getting all of the facts about tag settle, Patton was chasing after Virgil trying to tag him and suddenly the boy disappeared.

 Patton almost ran into a wall in his confusion. He stared at his hands stretched out and just a couple of inches from touching the wall for a moment, before slowly looking up.

“Virgil!” Patton exclaimed. “What?”

“What?” he asked.

“…What are you even hanging onto?”

“The wall,” Virgil replied.

Logan walked closer to the two of them and tilted his head up to look at him. Virgil had jumped up and somehow managed to find hand and foot holes on the seemingly smooth wall. He climbed about 5 meters above their heads and was peering down at them curiously.

 “Okay,” Logan said. “New rule. Virgil is not allowed to scale walls during tag.”

Virgil frowned down at him. “Why only me?”

“Because Patton and I cannot do that anyway,” Logan said. “We would not be able to actually play if you remain up there.”

Patton glanced over at him and reached over to touch Logan’s shoulder. “No tag backs,” he said. Logan glared at him. “Why don’t you come down sweetie?”

“But Logan will tag me,” he said.

“Well, honey, that’s part of the fun,” Patton reasoned. “Don’t you want to try being it?”

Virgil seemed to consider this for a long moment. “Okay,” he agreed.

 To Logan’s terror, he simply let go of the wall, falling straight down and landing crouched. He blinked at Logan. Right. With a start, Patton took off, so he’d have a head start. “No tag backs means a 10 second head start for me,” Logan reminded. Virgil nodded, and Logan reached out to poke him in the arm before immediately running off in the opposite direction as Patton.

Logan’s strategy worked out since, knowing he couldn’t go after Logan for a few seconds more, he chose to turn and go after Patton. After finding one of the statues to hide behind on the edge of the courtyard, Logan risked glancing back.

 Virgil was faster than Logan (and likely Patton) had accounted for. Patton had gotten a good head start on him, but Virgil closed it quickly. Patton shrieked as Virgil barreled into him, bringing them both to the ground.

“Virgil!” Logan heard Patton giggle. Logan figured he was more than okay despite the tackle. “This isn’t how you play tag!”

“I combined tag and tackle hugs,” Virgil declared, making Patton giggle more.

“That’s very innovative, honey,” Patton said. “Now are you going to let me up?...Virgil… I’m counting down your 10 second head start in my head, and if you don’t let me up I’m going to tag you again.”

 This did not seem to have the intended effect as Virgil did not remove himself from Patton’s person. Patton laugh when it became clear he was not going to move and began counting down “7, 6, 5, 4, you’d better let me go sweetie, or you’re going to get tagged again.” Virgil did not seem to care. “3, 2, 1.” Patton reached up and bopped him on the nose. “Tag!” he declared.

Logan was surprised when Virgil instantly jumped off Patton at that. He whipped around.

‘Oh,’ Logan thought as the boy’s eyes narrowed in on Logan immediately, ‘I see.’

 “Virgil was already halfway across the courtyard towards him before Logan could even think about running away. There was no way that he was fast enough to outrun him. Perhaps he could outthink him, he thought. His eyes scanned his environment in the seconds he had left and landed on a large square piece of stone that held flowers in the spring. It was just full of dirt now, but it was still about waist high. Perhaps if he kept that between them, he could outmaneuver him. He sprinted towards it and scrambled to the opposite side from where Virgil was heading.

 He really should not have been as surprised as he was that Virgil did not even slightly slow as he approached the planter box, instead grabbing ahold of the side of it and vaulting over it. Logan stumbled back, bracing for impact, but instead he just got a quick tap on the shoulder.

Logan blinked at him.

“I don’t know if you would be okay with tackle hugs,” he explained.

Logan considered him. “I would be okay with a nontackle hug.”

Virgil happily jumped forward to hug Logan, pressing his nose into Logan’s shoulder. Logan chuckled and patted the top of his head. “Six,” he said, “5, 4, 3…”

 Virgil bolted away suddenly, actually making Logan stumble a bit. He paused just out of reach of Logan, looking at him with anticipation. “2,1,” Logan finished with a raised eyebrow. He already knew he was being played with, but he indulged him by starting towards him. Virgil danced out of the way, eyes alight. Logan sighed. “Is this truly how it’s going to be?” he asked.

Virgil didn’t answer, but to watch him with wide, excited eyes.

“Fine,” Logan said. He dashed towards him again, only to have him continue to maneuver just out of Logan’s reach each time Logan went forward. He’d call it taunting if there was any sign of malice in it.

 They ran around the courtyard in spirts of Logan charging at him and Virgil expertly dodging. Eventually Patton came closer to them. Logan could tell that Virgil was aware of his presence, by how he glanced back at him briefly, but considering he was not ‘it,’ it seemed he chose to disregard him. However, he was not aware of the way Patton winked at Logan as he walked up behind Virgil.

Logan, on the other hand, knew exactly what was happening. He went to spring for Virgil again, and Virgil again moved to dodge, but this time Patton grabbed him around the waist, allowing Logan to actually tag him.

 He turned slowly to face Patton who started to giggle immediately at the perplexed look on his face. It cleared into something else as soon as he heard Patton laugh. “Traitor!” he claimed. “We were on the same team and you betrayed me.”

“I just thought we should probably have mercy on poor Logan,” Patton replied.

“Hmm,” Virgil said, eyes again full of that playful mischief Logan had not seen until today. “Plea for mercy not accepted.”

Patton once again half-shrieked half-laughed as he was pounced on. The two of them went rolling across the grass, Virgil clearly keeping the rolling going longer than it should have as they made it a good few meters.

 Virgil sprung off of him a few moments later.

“Oh, is it my turn?” Patton inquired with a huge smile. He slowly got to his feet. “Hmm, I’m probably at about 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!” He took off after Virgil, but Patton had a bit more endurance than Logan, so instead of doing quickly calculated lunges at Virgil as Logan had done, he just ran at him full tilt without stopping.

Virgil ran from him, though Logan was pretty sure he was intentionally slowing himself down a bit so Patton had some amount of a chance. He kept turning to check behind him and make sure Patton was still somewhat close as he ran.

Which is why he didn’t see the imminent disaster in time.

  Chapter 24

Thomas should have been paying more attention, but his mind had been on the meeting he’d just had with the castle guards about increased security in the wake of the possible threat from Mocnejsi. He’d decided to take a brief walk around the courtyard to clear his head but was still distracted with mulling over the options that had just been presented to him. He stepped into the castle courtyard and did not have time to step out of the way of the much smaller body rocketing towards him. Virgil slammed into his front, but not before Thomas got a good look at his face.

 Virgil’s expression changed dramatically in the few seconds between him registering Thomas was there and running into him. For the briefest moment, Thomas could see that he must have been having a lot of fun. He’d caught the wide smile and sparkling eyes as Virgil turned his head back from looking at Patton who was chasing him across the greenery. He’d looked very happy which made it all the more painful to see that happiness die in and a few instants. When his head had turned back towards Thomas, there was a flicker of confusion at something being in his path.

 Then, clearly everything about the situation registered, because his eyes blew wide in horror as he tried to stop himself, but there was no way he’d be able to in time. Thomas saw that fact register on his face the moment before he hit. Gone was any trace of happiness or joy in that split second. All that was left was dread that had no place anywhere near a children’s game of tag. It was the expression Thomas would expect from someone who felt ice give way under their feet in the middle of a lake they had thought was frozen solid.

 He hit hard, but he wasn’t nearly big enough to actually harm Thomas. Thomas was thrown slightly off balance but managed to stay on his feet. He reached out a hand to his shoulder automatically to steady the child. There was a moment of pseudo calm where they both absorbed the impact and stilled.

Then, the boy’s shoulder slipped out of Thomas’s grip as he went crashing to the ground in a move that made Thomas wince for the state of his knees. Thomas couldn’t quite grasp what was happening for a moment as Virgil face planted onto the ground in front of him, but when he did, Thomas couldn’t help but flinch and take a step back from him.

 Thomas had been bowed to before, of course, seeing as he was a king, but this was not out of respect or courtesy or even just tradition. This was out of terror. He was begging for mercy and it made Thomas feel sick.

“I’m sorry,” he said, meek and shaky into the ground, and there was almost something worse about the fact that he did not beg for forgiveness with his words, but only his posture. The way his breathes came far too quick and shallow said he was likely on the verge of a panic attack, but he was not blubbering through apologies or even not speaking at all. He gave a clear, if shaky, apology, and waited for whatever he thought Thomas planned to do to him. There was no way that was not learned.

 “You don’t…” Thomas stuttered. “You don’t have to do that. It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry,” he said again, but he reacted in no other way. He did not even react when Patton made it to his side and knelt down next to him. Patton’s hand hovered over his back, clearly wanting to touch down, but he pulled back on that instinct.

“Virgil, honey,” he said softly. “It’s okay. No one is mad. It was an accident.”

Virgil did not react to this at all.

Thomas caught Logan’s eye as he hurried over to them himself. “Sorry,” Thomas mouthed. Logan just nodded and turned his attention to his friend.

 “There is no reason for any of that,” Logan said, his voice firm, almost clipped. “You are not in trouble. Now sit up.”

Virgil did respond to that, slowly shifting back on his knees. He kept his head down looking at the ground. “Sorry,” he said again.

“I…” Thomas said, surveying the three kids on the ground in front of him. Thomas slowly sunk to the ground to be at their level. Virgil was tracking his movements out of the corner of his eyes, his head still bowed and his shoulders tensed. “Hey,” Thomas said softly. “Were you three playing tag?”

 Virgil hesitated, eyes flickering as he debated whether he should respond or not.

“Yeah, we were,” Patton answered for him after a moment of stressful silence.

“Well that’s fun,” Thomas said. “I’m sorry for interrupting the three of you. I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

Virgil glanced up at him for just a moment before looking away again. Patton apparently felt it was safe enough to touch Virgil, because he settled a hand on the boys shoulder.

“Yeah, we’ve just been having a fun day,” Patton said, carefully matching Thomas’s light tone. “We went to the garden and did some reading. Then, Mr. Deknis gave us some apples.”

 “That’s nice,” Thomas replied. “He’s been talking about the new apples he’s been growing. He’s been working on them for years and they’re just beginning to bare fruit this year. I haven’t gotten a chance to try any yet. Are they any good?”

“They’re very good,” Patton told him. His hand rubbed slowly on Virgil’s back. “Isn’t that right, Virge?”

Virgil nodded a bit, a little less tense now, but still nowhere near calm.

“Well, I’ll have to try them soon,” Thomas said with a smile. “Thank you for the information. Now, I’ve got to get back to what I’m doing, but I hope you three have a good day.”

 “I’ll see you later, Dad,” Logan said.

Thomas nodded and pushed himself to his feet. “Goodbye you three,” he said before turning away towards the door back into the castle. He paused to take a breath when the door closed behind him, cutting off the courtyard. There were a lot of thoughts to shirt through in regards to that conversation. He hated that Virgil was so obviously terrified of him. Both of their two interactions had ended with the poor thing panicking on the ground. He wished he had some idea of how to help him or at least someone to talk to about it.

Maybe he’d go visit Mr. Deknis himself and not just for the apples.

  Chapter 25

“Alright,” Patton said, pressing a kiss to Virgil’s forehead. “I’ve got to go back to my room for the night. Will you two be okay?”

“We’ll be fine,” Logan said. “It won’t be particularly different than the last two weeks.”

Patton nodded and leaned to the side to squeeze Virgil in another hug. He’d been clingy since the incident in the courtyard, and Virgil had been appreciative considering he was still pretty shaky from it. He was still surprised he’d touched the king of Prijaznia (let alone ran into him) and lived to tell the tale.

“Goodnight, Pat,” Virgil said because he was pretty sure he wouldn’t leave if Virgil didn’t.

 “Night Virge,” Patton said with a smile before standing up from where they’d been sitting on the ground. He reached over to hug Logan who was sitting on a chair. “Night Lo! Put the book down and go to bed.”

Logan looked up from his book with a frown.

“It’s almost midnight,” Patton scolded.

Logan sighed and set his book down. “Very well,” he agreed. “We will get ready for bed.”

“You better! I’m going to come and wake you up early in the morning.”

“Early in the morning for you is 9am,” Logan scoffed.

Patton stuck his tongue out at him as he walked backwards out of the door.

 Logan gave his book a mournful look once the door closed and Virgil almost giggled. “I won’t tell on you,” he said.

Logan thought about it for a few moments. “No,” he finally said. “We should probably get some sleep.”

Virgil nodded and pushed himself to his feet.

“We should probably both take a bath after sitting in the dirt today,” Logan said. “Do you want to go first or should I?”

“Don’t care,” Virgil answered.

“You can go first,” Logan offered.

Virgil felt himself smile. “You just want to finish the chapter in that book,” he accused.

“Perhaps,” Logan conceded.

 Virgil just grinned and walked over to his closet to grab one of the outfits he’d been given for pajamas. He chose a pair of baggy shorts that went past his knees and the huge soft black sweater Logan had found in the back of his closet. He headed into the bathroom, noting Logan had already picked up his book again.

Logan may have declared the both of them dirty enough for bathing a few minutes before, but Virgil was cleaner than he thought he’d ever been before coming to the castle. Logan had taught him how to use the tub and what soaps to use for what a couple of days after he’d arrived and had suggested he clean himself regularly.

 Virgil didn’t mind. The tub was enchanted to warm the water inside of it and Virgil loved it. Though, that had the negative affect of making it very difficult to leave.

He cleaned himself up quickly, so he’d have a few minutes to just sit in the water before he felt like he needed to get out and let Logan have a turn. He changed into his pajamas, pulling the crescent shaped protection charm out of his day clothes pocket and storing the warm to the touch stone in the short pocket. He used the clip Patton had made it to pin it to the cloth to make sure he wouldn’t lose it.

 Logan was engrossed in his reading by the time that Virgil exited the bathroom. He did not look up as Virgil approached.

“Your turn,” Virgil said to him.

Logan clearly just barely managed to tear his eyes away from the book. “Right,” he said. “Yes.”

“The book will be there in the morning,” Virgil reminded.

“I know,” said Logan sadly as he set the book aside.

Logan never took much time in the bath, so Virgil quickly went about getting ready for bed the rest of the way. He put his day clothes in the basket Logan had for that purpose and started to straighten out the blankets and pillows in the closet.

 He heard Logan come back into the room a few minutes later.

“Virgil,” Logan said. “What are you doing?”

Virgil looked over at him. “Getting ready for bed,” he answered, confused.

Logan frowned at him. “You don’t sleep in the closet anymore,” Logan said. “That’s only for when we were worried you might escape.”

“Oh,” Virgil said blinking over at him. “Right.” He felt a slight pulling at his chest. He liked the closet. It was warm and soft. Patton had taken a lot of care with how he’d arranged all of the pillows and blankets. It was the best place he could ever remember having to sleep in his life. Yet, he did not argue. He knew getting to sleep out in the open was supposed to be a reward and he wasn’t about to reject it.

 Virgil stood and closed the closet. He tugged on the bottom of his sweater, stretching the fabric between his hands as he watched Logan pull down the covers of his bed and settle down onto it. Cautiously he walked over towards the bed. He wasn’t sure where he should lay down exactly. He dithered for a moment before bending down to sit on the floor near the right side of Logan’s bed and then laying down.

There was shuffling on the bed above him and then Logan’s head popped over the side to squint down at him. “On the bed Virgil,” he said.

 Virgil looked up at him in shock. “But it… I’m…” He trailed off and there were a few seconds of silence.

“It is just a bed Virgil,” Logan said.

But it wasn’t ‘just’ anything. Virgil was pretty sure touching the bed of a royal family member without permission would be considered a capital offence. At least, it would in Mocnejsi. Yet, Logan was expecting him to just… crawl into it?

“Please just get up here,” Logan said. Virgil’s caution at touching something he was definitely sure he should not be allowed to be touching wared with his resolve to repay his literal life debt to Logan by doing whatever he wanted.

 Feeling honestly a bit sick to his stomach, Virgil slowly pushed himself back to his feet. Logan scooted back over to the left side of the bed, and Virgil cautiously sat down on the empty side of the bed. After a second of hesitation he slowly laid down, his head hitting a soft fluffy pillow. He jumped when Logan flopped the covers on top of both of them.

Virgil took a long moment to absorb the situation while Logan took off his glasses and reached over to turn off the light next to him. He’d never slept in a bed before, or if he had he’d been too young to remember. In the orphanage there was a lack of actual beds due to overcrowding and there had always been someone bigger and stronger that Virgil didn’t dare fight for the use of them. During training, none of the kids had a bed. Only a few of the higher ups had ones at the more permanent training sites. There were very few situations where any of the assassins, at least a Virgil’s level, would be allowed to touch a real bed.

 The light switched off, plunging them into darkness.

“Is this…?” Virgil said, eyes still pointed towards the ceiling even though his eyes had not adjusted to the darkness enough to be able to see it. “Do you want… things?”

“Things?” Logan asked.

Virgil did not move his head, but he did reach over and put his hand slightly above Logan’s knee. Logan didn’t move, so Virgil slid his hand up.

Virgil’s wrist was grabbed immediately and pulled firmly away from Logan’s inner thigh. He did not let go afterwards, his fingers squeezing hard, but not quite painfully. “Never,” Logan said, his voice harsher than it had ever been even on the day when Virgil was nothing more than an intruder with deadly intent. “Never offer anything like that to anyone ever again.”

 “I was just…”

“I know what you were doing,” Logan said, voice icy, “and it inadmissible. Never offer that again for anything. Do you understand me?”

“I... yes.”

“Promise me.”

Virgil took a short moment to think. “I promise,” he agreed.

“Good,” Logan said, releasing his hand. His voice got softer too. “Good.”

They were silent for a long time after that, though Virgil had no delusions that Logan had fallen asleep. He could almost feel the tension.

“Sorry,” Virgil finally said softly.

“It’s not something you should be apologizing for,” Logan replied. The bed moved as Logan shifted and a hand lightly touched the top of his head. “Just… never.”

 “Okay,” Virgil said. He shifted slightly after a moment until his head was in the crook of Logan’s arm. Logan brushed the hair out of his face with the hand that had been on his head.

“Goodnight Virgil,” Logan said.

“Goodnight,” Virgil responded. They were quiet after that, though Virgil was still awake for a while yet and Logan’s hand slowly stroked through his hair for a while. Eventually though, Virgil relaxed into mattress. He stuck his hand into his pocket and curled it around the charm in his pocket. The bed was nice, he thought. It was soft and warm… and safe. He finally fell asleep.

  Chapter 26

Patton did their new special knock on the door so Logan and Virgil would know it was just him and they didn’t need to hide the fact that Virgil was sleeping in the prince’s room. He didn’t wait for a response, however, and just shoved open the door. He was surprised to see that Logan was not already out of bed and wondered for a moment if he had broken his promise stayed up way too late reading like he was sometimes known to do. Yet, then, Logan spoke from the bed. “I’m awake,” he called.

Confused, Patton stepped into the room. Logan wasn’t one for lazing around in bed; usually he was out of bed the moment he woke.

 He stepped over to the bed and had to stifle a smile when he recognized the problem. Logan was awake, but Virgil was still sleeping, and he was half on top of Logan, his arms wrapped around him.

“Why don’t you just squirm out of his arms like you do me?” Patton asked, keeping his voice low.

“He isn’t like you,” Logan said. He did not bother to quiet himself at all.

“What do you mean?” Patton asked amused.

In answer, Logan started to move as though to squirm out of Virgil’s death grip on him. In response, Virgil made a pitiful mewling sound in his sleep that landed like a piercing blow straight to the heart. Logan stopped moving immediately and Virgil shifted to grip Logan tighter.

 “Aw!” Patton said.

“It’s not cute,” Logan insisted. “I’ve been stuck for hours and I have to pee.”

Patton chuckled. “Alright, alright, I’ll save you.” He rounded the bed to Virgil’s side and crawled up on it. “Virgil, honey,” he entreated softly. “I think it’s time for me to get cuddles so Lo can get up.” Patton softly touched Virgil’s shoulder and pulled at him gently. He reached forward to carefully pry Virgil’s arms off of Logan.

Virgil made a more confused than heartbreaking sound this time, turning towards Patton so Patton could wrap his arms around him. Logan managed to scoot towards the edge of the bed.

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Logan made it off the bed and dashed towards the bathroom as Virgil’s arms came around Patton and squeezed. Patton laughed and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. After a few moments, Virgil’s eyes started to flicker a bit.

“Good morning, honey,” Patton said softly. “Did you sleep good?”

He hummed sleepily. “Beds are nice,” he said. Patton felt a slight pang at that because it implied he didn’t get to sleep in beds very much, but he chose to shove that aside.

“They are,” Patton agreed. Virgil’s eyes started to close again. “Honey,” Patton laughed. “I think it’s time to wake up now.”

 Virgil made a sleepy whining sound, squeezing Patton tighter. “Don’t you want breakfast?” Patton asked. That question managed to make Virgil open his eyes again. “I was thinking we could go down to the kitchen to eat that way it’s nice and fresh and I can introduce you to Mama real quick.” He neglected to mention the fact that they really did not have a choice. Mr. Deknis had blabbed to Mama about Virgil, and worse, had apparently mentioned that Virgil was skinny. As soon as he’d gotten home yesterday, he’d been met with an already worked up Mama firmly insisting that she meet Virgil sometime today.

 He wasn’t going to tell Virgil that though, because he thought it might scare him away from both Mama and Mr. Deknis.

Virgil thought about the prospect of breakfast for a long moment. “Fine,” he agreed. “I’ll be awake.”

“Good,” Patton said. He reached up to bop him on the nose. Virgil narrowed his eyes and then bopped him back making Patton giggle. He sat up then, and Virgil let him. “Let’s get you something to wear and do your hair,” Patton suggested. Virgil nodded and reluctantly got out of bed, just as Logan returned to the room. “We’re going to go downstairs for breakfast,” Patton told Logan. “That way Virgil can meet my mom.” He gave Logan a significant look and Logan nodded once in understanding that this was not a choice.

 Logan and Virgil got dressed, and Patton did Virgil’s hair up nice, before Patton led them out of the royal wing. They went down the main staircase instead of the spiral staircase that went right to the kitchen, mostly because it would be very busy, and Patton thought they should probably eat in the main dining room anyway. He could feel Virgil getting more anxious as they entered the busier part of the castle, and he stuck close to either Patton or Logan from the time they hit the top of the steps all the way to the main dining room.

 There were a few people in the dining room already eating breakfast when they arrived. Virgil’s curiosity seemed to temporarily overwhelm his anxiety as he looked around the large hall and at all of the people there. Patton looked around trying to see it through his eyes. He’d been running around this place since he was little, so he never really thought about how big the room was or how grandly it was decorated, but Virgil was just seeing it for the first time. Patton smiled at him as he guided him to one of the seats. There was already muffins on the table so Patton grabbed one and plopped it in front of Virgil.

 Virgil frowned down at the muffin dubiously. “You just… keep food out in the open?” he asked.

Right.

“It’s fine, Virgil,” Patton promised. “No one here would have put anything in it.”

Virgil narrowed his eyes and looked around at the other occupants of the room suspiciously.

“Honestly,” Logan said. “No one even knew we would be down here for breakfast. Nobody would just put something in random people’s food for no reason.”

Virgil gave him a look like he’d just told him people could in fact breathe under water. Virgil was really from a… whole different world, wasn’t he?

 “It’s really fine,” Patton said. “Logan and I have eaten things on the table like this a lot.”

“I’m surprised your not dead yet,” Virgil said.

Logan rolled his eyes and reached for a muffin. Virgil slapped it out of his hand and onto the floor. “Really?” Logan asked.

Virgil narrowed his eyes at him. “No eating unsecured food!”

“Virgil,” Logan groaned.

“I bet you don’t even know what common poisons taste like.”

“No,” Logan said. “I don’t because I don’t worry about being poisoned on a daily basis!”

“You should!”

People were starting to look over at them. Patton shot an awkward smile at the woman a few chairs down.

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“Just don’t eat the muffins Logan,” Patton said under his breath.

“I do not understand why-”

“Because it’s stupid as he-”

“Shush,” Patton commanded out of the corner of his mouth, “people are watching, and Virgil is just a normal castle resident.”

That shut the both of them up at least.

“No muffins for now,” Patton said. “I assume it’s okay to eat the things they bring straight from the kitchen.”

Virgil looked a bit leery of this still, but he nodded.

“Good,” Patton said, “then we’ll just wait for that to get here and then everyone will be happy, right?”

Logan opened his mouth and Patton turned to glare at him.

“Right?”

 Logan closed his mouth, though clearly, he did not want to give in so easily. They’d be doubtlessly rehashing this conversation once they were alone again.

Patton caught sight of one of the kitchen workers he knew fairly well come out of the kitchen and deliver food to a group of people who were there before them. She caught sight of them and walked over likely to ask them what they wanted for breakfast. Patton watched out of the corner of his eye as Virgil tensed, eyeing her approach suspiciously and she slowed under his glare.

This was going to be a long breakfast.

  Chapter 27

After an, honestly quite aggravating, breakfast full of Virgil’s cognitive distortions about the likelihood of being poisoned, Logan was relieved to finally be able to leave the dining area. In consideration to those serving breakfast, Patton did not lead them through the door in the back of the dining room that went directly to the kitchen, and instead took them out of the room and down the hall to a different entrance. This one had a guard stationed across from it as, despite what Virgil may believe, the castle workers did consider the possibility that someone would want to sneak into the kitchen for nefarious purposes.

 Said guard, of course, saw nothing wrong with the prince and the head chef’s son entering the side door even with the bonus stranger. In fact, he may even have known Virgil could be coming through this door if Ms. Heart had mentioned him.

Though Virgil hadn’t managed to catch it, Logan knew enough about Patton’s mother that he’d surmised that she had insisted Patton bring the boy to meet her. It was bound to happen at some point anyway, Logan knew, and he wasn’t particularly worried. After all, this was Patton’s mother. Virgil himself didn’t even seem particularly concerned.

 Logan had seen him panic and, while he tugged a bit at the sweater he was wearing, the motion was not particularly fervent, so he was likely just slightly nervous.

Of course, that may be because he did not know Patton’s mother specifically wanted to meet him and just assumed that they were starting the necessary process of introducing him to castle residents with a low risk person.

When they entered the hallway, Logan could already hear the usual noises of the kitchen: the clattering of plates, the bubble of conversation, and the sound of Ms. Heart’s voice calling out instructions.

 He did see Virgil hesitate, but Logan couldn’t sus out why and Patton was already ahead of them and opening the door into the kitchen. It was fairly calm for the kitchen considering it was meal hours. Logan imagined that Patton had chosen the time between when the day guards ate breakfast before their shifts and the night guards after their shifts on purpose. There was still a bit of chaos as dishwashers attempted to catch up during the lull and a few orders were still being made, but overall the mood seemed, to Logan at least, to be light as Ms. Heart ordered her kitchen around.

 Yet, Virgil clearly did not see the situation the same way that Logan did. He froze when the kitchen door swung open and some of the workers turned to look at them. He took a step back, bumped into Logan, startled violently, realized it was Logan, and then side stepped to hide behind him. Logan looked back at him in confusion, but Virgil said nothing, proceeding to mutely peer over Logan’s shoulder.

Patton had moved over to greet his mother as she wiped her hands off on a rag. She glanced over at Virgil and Logan and Logan saw Virgil shrink back a bit.

 Logan could see Ms. Heart’s eyes soften as she tracked his movement. She turned to the woman next to her and said something before moving to remove her apron and hang it up in its designated area. Virgil’s hands clenched in the fabric of Logan’s shirt when she turned back to him.

“It’s fine, Virgil,” Logan told him, but Virgil didn’t seem to believe him. Luckily, Patton had turned back and seemed to realize something was amiss.

He stepped back over to them. “Hey, honey,” he said. A plate clattered in the kitchen and Virgil just about ripped Logan’s shirt.

 Patton frowned sympathetically. “Too loud?”

“Virgil,” Logan said. “You are digging your fingernails into my skin.” Patton shot Logan a glare. “What?”

“How about,” Patton’s mom suggested. Virgil’s fingernails dug more into Logan’s skin. “We go to my office.”

“I think that’s a good idea, Mama,” Patton said. “Come here, Virgil.” He reached over to touch one of Virgil’s hands and had to pull a bit to get him to release Logan. “It’s back that way, away from the kitchen,” he said when he managed to twine their fingers. He stepped around Logan, probably so there was still a buffer between Virgil and the kitchen and tugged him in the correct direction.

 Ms. Heart shot a glance at Logan and Logan felt irrationally like she was trying to read his thoughts. Logan smoothed his features out and turned to follow Patton and Virgil towards her office.

As head chef, Ms. Heart had a small office where she could plan menus without the hustle and bustle of the kitchen and have meeting with people who needed to discuss dietary needs and restrictions. It was very well organized, but still looked fairly messy because of the numbers of decorations she had in it. She had a tendency to keep everything that Patton made her, thus she had his childhood drawings on the wall and little projects stacked on her desk and on the shelves. A lumpy cat statue acted as a paperweight on a stack of papers on her desk and there was a vase of fake flowers (as it could not actually hold water) sat near the window.

 By the time Logan entered the room, Patton was trying to coax Virgil into sitting down on one of the two mismatched chairs, but Virgil was having none of it. He had turned to face the door and was yanking at his sweater in nervousness.

Logan noticed that Ms. Heart did not come far into the room, instead pausing near the door. She did, however close the door to give them privacy, and that seemed to distress Virgil more.

She seemed to contemplate him for a moment. “Hello,” she said, her voice softer than Logan was used to hearing. “You must be Virgil.”

 It seemed as though he were willing himself to magically shrink, but he still replied. “Yes, ma’am,” he said quietly.

“It’s nice to meet you,” she said. “I’m Patton’s mom.”

“I know, ma’am.”

“There’s no need to be formal, Virgil.”

He hesitated. “Okay,” he said somehow quieter.

Her eyebrows drew together in concern, and it seemed that she decided to result to her default way of making people more comfortable. “Would you kids like some candy?”

Logan saw Patton’s hand squeeze Virgil’s lightly. “That would be great, Mama.”

She nodded and walked forward towards her desk. Virgil turned so his back was never to her. If she noticed, she didn’t react. She just grabbed a small tin off one of her shelves and took the top off. “How about a peppermint candy?” she asked.

 She offered the tin out to them. Virgil stared at it like it was a venomous snake. Logan decided to act, stepping forward and taking three of the pieces of peppermint candy from the dish. He stepped over to Virgil and Patton and held out his hand, offering Virgil first choice out of all three.

He hesitated before glancing between Patton and his mother. He must have decided that Patton’s mom wouldn’t risk poisoning Patton and took one of the pieces. Patton took another one of them and popped it into his mouth. Logan ate the last piece.

“Thanks,” Virgil said to Ms. Heart before placing his piece in his mouth.

 Logan watched Virgil’s eyes light up a bit when the flavor registered. His posture didn’t completely relax, but he seemed at least a bit less like he was contemplating jumping through the window. His trust was almost worryingly easy to buy sometimes. All it took was a not poisoned peppermint.

Ms. Heart seemed pleased by his reaction. “I’m actually going to be making some new ones soon and I’m trying to get rid of these. Would you like to take another one for later?” she asked, holding out the tin.

He looked at it warily again, but he still stepped closer slowly and took another piece. “Thank you.”

 “Anytime,” Ms. Heart said, eyes looking over him intensely. “You look like you could do to with a few more sweets every so often.”

Virgil tilted his head in that way he did when he was particularly perplexed.

Patton giggled a bit. “She means your skinny.”

“Oh,” Virgil said. “Logan already gave me a malnutrition potion for that.”

“Did he now?” she asked, her eyes flickering to Logan. Logan winced. He was definitely in trouble for not bringing him directly to her. He was sure he’d hear all about it as soon as she caught him without Virgil in the room.

 She turned back to Virgil with a smile, and Logan imagined Virgil had no idea how dead Logan was. “Well, that’s a very good start, but if there was need for a nutrition potion, we should be careful to make sure you get enough calories and nutrients every day going forward.” She sat down at her desk. “Why don’t you and I talk for a bit about making sure you get some good food.”

He still looked cautious but was predictably enticed by the promise of food. He did not sit still, but he did put his hands on the back of one of the chairs and slightly lean on it. “Yes, ma’am,” he agreed.

“Okay,” she said. “Well, I’m going to have a few more specific questions, but let’s just start with what are your favorite foods?”

“I’ll eat anything,” Virgil replied immediately.

“He really likes chicken alfredo,” Patton contributed.

Virgil perked up at the name of the food. “I did like that,” he agreed.

“Alright,” Ms. Heart replied. That’s a start.

  Chapter 28

Thomas did not have to be told that something had gotten Helen Heart in a tizzy. He could tell just by the amount of food she had sent up on his dinner tray. She always made and pushed more food when she was stressed, and he couldn’t help but chuckle when he found both a hearty serving of roast beef and a mini chicken pot pie on his plate along with three vegetable side dishes and a side of macaroni and cheese.

He could also guess what had happened to illicit such a response. Thomas had caught up to Jeffers Deknis in his garden and they’d spoken at length about Logan and Patton’s new friend.

There was no way that after said discussion, Jeff had not mentioned Virgil (and more importantly his friendship with Patton) to Helen during their daily gossip sessions. There was also no way that Helen had heard the words “child” and “too small” in a sentence and hadn’t flipped. From there the inevitable sequence of events was clear: Patton went home, Helen talked his ear off until he agreed to bring Virgil to meet her, Helen met him and immediately committed herself to making sure he ate three square meals a day as well as multiple snacks.

Thomas had sussed all of that out before the kitchen worker bringing him his dinner had mentioned what had happened that day.

 That in mind, he decided to wait until after dinner should have been cleaned up before walking his own dinner leftovers down to the kitchens.

Thomas was unsurprised to see Jeff already in the kitchen. He was sat at a small table off to the side where kitchen workers usually took their breaks. The only person other than Jeff and Helen left in the kitchen was a dishwasher who was finishing up. Helen usually spent a couple of hours after dinner in her kitchen or her office organizing for the next day and in case anyone needed food on an off hour, and then there was a night cook who would take over so she could go back to her set of rooms.

 Helen took the tray of leftovers from Thomas herself and shooed the dishwasher out of the way. “I’ll handle the rest myself,” she told the girl. “You can leave.”

She nodded and started to take her apron off. Helen dumped the tray on the counter without care and turned back around to usher Thomas into one of the kitchen chairs. Thomas went willingly and she turned to fill the tea kettle with water and set it on the stove.

“It take it she met Virgil,” Thomas said to Jeff.

“She’s adopted Virgil,” Jeff replied, taking a bite out of a cookie.

 “And what of it?” she asked. “Someone obviously needs to feed the boy. Speaking of, you’re grounding your son by the way.”

Thomas took one of the cookies for himself. “Why am I grounding Logan?” he asked.

“He was worried enough about his health to make him a nutrition potion, but still did not bring him to me,” she harrumphed.

“I see,” Thomas replied.

“In Logan’s defense,” Jeff interrupted. “the boy seems rather timid. He may have worried about you scaring him off.”

Helen slapped him with a dishtowel.

“Actually,” Jeff continued. “From what I’ve gathered he didn’t have contact with anyone since the time I saw him a couple of weeks ago until now.”

 “Any adults,” Thomas corrected with a frown. “I’m pretty sure he, Patton, and Logan must have been around each other considering how close they already seem to be.” He paused, “Logan implied he wasn’t particularly… comfortable around adults.”

“I did get that impression, yes,” Helen said, pouring the hot water from the kettle into a tea pot and carrying it and some cups over to the table.

“He was incredibly jumpy,” Jeff confirmed. “I imagine he does not have good experiences with many people, but he seems to have grown attached to Logan and Patton. He defers to them in most things and seemed a bit protective.

 “Where did he come from?” Thomas asked.

“I’m not sure,” Jeff said. “I found him hiding in the garden shed a couple of weeks ago.”

“Did he sneak in?” Thomas asked.

“That’s what I would have thought,” Jeff replied, “but when I asked, he said he wasn’t trying to steal anything and that he was supposed to be in the castle. So, I’d assumed that meant he was the child of someone living in the caste.”

“But neither of us could find anyone who knew him,” Helen said. “Of course, we didn’t even know his name until now.” She seemed to decide the tea leaves had sat long enough because she started to pour them each a cup of tea.

Thomas took a sip. “Earl Grey,” he commented. “I guess I’m not sleeping much tonight.” It was her ‘planning tea.’

 “We need a plan,” she said, “but we’re going to have to be gentle.”

“At least with Virgil,” Jeff said.

Thomas laughed lightly, “and what do you plan to do with the other two?”

“I have my ways.”

Helen rolled her eyes. “You say that,” she said, “but you’re too soft. The two of them learned to run circles around you and your powers years ago.”

“We should talk to them though,” Thomas said. “Separately from Virgil.”

“We should,” Helen agreed. “I already spoke to Patton a bit yesterday, but I will again. We should see if we can ask around and find out why he’s in the castle. We don’t even know how long he’s lived here. Or who brought him here.” The look on her face told Thomas she wanted to have a talk with his guardians whoever and wherever they were.

 Helen took a drink of tea, it seemed to calm herself. “We need to make sure whatever has been happening to him is not happening in these walls,” she said.

Thomas had honestly… not thought about that. He’d assumed whatever made Virgil so skittish was in the past, but it was possible that it was ongoing. The thought made him sick.

“Perhaps you should try to talk to him, Thomas,” Helen suggested.

Thomas winced. “I am not sure that is a good idea...”

“Why not?”

“We don’t have the best track record… I don’t think me being around him would be a good idea.”

 “Oh, please, Thomas,” Helen said disbelievingly.

“No, you don’t understand,” Thomas said. “He seems disproportionately afraid of me. I think it’s a mix of me being king and how we met.”

“How did you meet?” Helen asked.

“I… gave him a bit of a fright,” Thomas admitted. “Logan and Patton weren’t in the room and I didn’t know who he was. He… ended up under the bed. Then… the second time I saw him he accidently ran into me. He freaked out again.” The memory still made Thomas feel gross. It also made him think there was a lot more to his backstory than the three of them understood.

43410

“Perhaps Jeff can try to talk to him then,” Helen said. “It sounds like he was calmest around you. I’ll push Patton towards taking him to the garden more often. I bet fresh air would do him some good anyway.”

Jeff nodded. “I will try to talk to him a bit more.”

“Great,” Helen said, but Thomas already knew the conversation wasn’t over. “Now we need to talk about strategic events to throw over the next few months that Patton and Logan to invite Virgil to. We’ll start slow, but we need to make sure he feels welcome in the castle.”

Thomas met Jeff’s eyes. Yeah, it was going to be a long night.

  Chapter 29

Virgil finished eating the breakfast Patton’s mom had sent for him. It had been going on a week since she’d made the menu for him. She sent up little cards with each meal and he was supposed to rate each thing she sent on a scale from 1-5. Logan would read it to him before he ate, and Virgil mark the little box on the card. Usually, he would put a 4 for everything (he had tried to do 5, but Logan had told him 5 was reserved for things like chicken alfredo). Three was for things that he was neutral on, 2 was for things he didn’t like but could tolerate, and 1 was for things he didn’t like. So far, the only 3 was the unseasoned porridge she’d sent one day.

 “Finished?” Logan asked.

“Yeah,” Virgil said.

“What would you like to do today?” Logan asked. “Patton is busy until after lunch, and then we thought you might like to go back to the garden again. It’s supposed to drop in temperature over the next few days, so it will be the last good day for it.”

“Sounds good,” Virgil said. “I don’t care what we do today though.”

“Well, there are a few options,” Logan said.

“What do you want to do?” Virgil asked.

Logan made an expression, and Virgil titled his head. “I’m don’t have anything in particular I want to do,” he said.

“You’re lying,” Virgil said immediately.

 “You would not be interested in the activity I wish to partake in,” Logan said.

Virgil squinted at him. “I’d be interested in laying on the ground and staring at the ceiling.”

Logan chuckled. “No, truly. The activity I would do if you were not present would involve reading.”

“You can read to me,” Virgil suggested.

“…In Sanskrit.”

Virgil frowned at him. “Isn’t that, like, some sort of dead language?”

“It is,” Logan said. “I taught myself to read it to read a specific book called the Pragilium Text. It’s an encoded book that leads to a magical location that I have been trying to decode for years.”

 “That’s fine,” Virgil said. “You can do that.”

“It would be in the library,” Logan said.

“Okay.”

“But…” Logan said. “It would in no way be interesting to you.”

Virgil shrugged. “Like I said. I’m content to lie on the floor for a few hours.”

Logan frowned. “I can’t make you do that.”

“You wouldn’t be making me,” Virgil said. “I want to go. Maybe you can find me an easy book I could try to read?”

“Are you certain?” he asked.

Virgil nodded, decisively.

“Very well, get dressed and I will show you the library.”

Virgil stood to do so and a few minutes later, Logan was leading him out of the royal wing.

 Both of the guards greeted him kindly, and Virgil hunched his shoulders in a bit, but said a soft “hi.”

The library didn’t end up being too far away. It was through the small dining hall and to the left where the staircase to the kitchen was to the right.

“This is not the main library,” Logan said. “It is just a smaller one. The royal librarian comes here only about once a week to organize. Some other castle residents might come in too, but it is usually mostly empty.” Virgil could tell just by listening for a few seconds that the place was likely empty (unless someone was lying in wait).

 “I’ll look and see if there is something simple for you in case you’d like to read. You can explore a bit if you’d like,” Logan said.

Virgil nodded and stalked off into the shelves to secure the area. There were many books, not that he could quite read any of the spines. The bookcases were mostly cramped into the space. There was the open area where they’d come in with a few comfy chairs and Virgil found a desk near one of the windows. It had stacks of books including one pretty large and old one. He looked at it curiously.

 Virgil heard Logan’s footsteps approach from down an aisle. “That’s the Pragilium text,” he said.

“It’s pretty,” Virgil said, looking at the design etched into the cover.

“Yes,” Logan agreed. He reached forward to touch it and opened it carefully. The print was small and didn’t look like the letters Logan had taught him so far. There was a small map on the side that Virgil could at least guess at the meaning of.

“You can read that?” Virgil asked.

“I can,” Logan said. “Very few people can though.”

“Wow, you’re really smart.”

“Thank you,” Logan said with a smile.

 “Now,” Logan continued. “I found you a book. I apologize as its subject matter is for younger children, but it has many pictures that can help give you context when you don’t know something. You don’t have to read it if you do not wish to, especially as we haven’t gotten very far in our lessons, but I thought you might like the challenge.

He handed him the book and Virgil took it with a smile. “I’ll try to read it,” he said.

“Well, you have free reign of the library. Feel free to continue to explore and to interrupt me if you need to.”

 Virgil nodded and took the book before deciding to finish his sweep of the library. It turned out that appearances were not deceiving, and the library truly was empty. Once he was certain about that, he looked around for a comfortable place to settle down and try to read the book Logan had handed him. He found a sturdy looking bookshelf near where Logan was reading at his desk. He scaled it quickly. It was a little bit dusty at the top, but it wasn’t a bad place. It was close to the ceiling and kept him hidden pretty well, but still gave him enough room to pop up onto his elbows. If he looked left, he could see Logan down bellow with his head in the book, but if he looked right, he could see the entrance to the library.

 He pulled the book in front of him and looked at the cover. It was covered in drawings of different colored flowers. One simple white flower was in the center and there were three words on the cover. He squinted at it and silently tried to sound it out based on what Logan had taught him so far. He could guess that the larger word was ‘flowers’ based on context. So, he was pretty sure it read How Flowers Grow.

He flipped open the book. Logan was right, there were many hand drawn beautiful pictures. He could pretty much understand what was happening just from them even if he couldn’t read all of the words.

 It was an interesting book even if he couldn’t read it and it was obviously made for small children. Judging by the pictures it seemed to be detailing how plants, or at least, flowers grew through some kid planting and caring for a flower over the course of some amount of time.

Virgil had, of course, known flowers grew from seeds, but it was interesting to see things about how the stem would pop out of the seed in the ground and things about the roots growing.

He more looked through the pictures than read it the first time but had flipped back to the front to try to read the words when he heard the library door open.

 Virgil perked up in awareness, but then settled when he recognized Patton’s footsteps. Virgil tilted his head to watch as he walk directly to Logan’s hideaway.

“Hi,” he said, gaining Logan’s attention.

“Hello, Patton,” Logan replied. He glanced at the window and must have seen that time had passed because he closed his book and shuffled his papers.

“The guards said you came here,” Patton said, glancing around. “Where’s Virgil?”

Instead of letting Logan answer that question, Virgil pulled himself forward, with the book in one hand and slid off the bookshelf to land lightly on his feet next to Patton.

Patton screamed before slapping a hand over his mouth.

 Logan had placed his hand over his heart. “Where on Earth did you come from?” he asked.

Virgil blinked at him and then pointed to the bookshelf he’d been on top of.

“How long were you up there?” Logan asked.

“Pretty much the whole time,” Virgil answered.

“I…” Logan said. “I didn’t even know.”

Virgil squinted at him. “You need to learn to look up.”

Patton giggled.

Virgil turned on him. “You need to learn to case the area.”

“Oh honey, your shirt is all covered in dust,” Patton said instead of responding to his very valid criticism. Virgil frowned. “Let’s get you changed and then go grab some lunch.”

“Lunch?” Virgil asked.

Patton chuckled and grabbed his hand. “Yes, sweetie, lunch. Then garden.”

“Fine,” Virgil said. “But you do need to learn to be more observant.

“Yes, yes, whatever you say,” Patton said.

Logan just rolled his eyes.

  Chapter 30

After lunch, Patton and Logan took Virgil out into the garden to walk around. They let Virgil lead them around wherever he wanted to in the garden. A bunch more flowers had died since the last time they’d been out here, and Patton felt sad despite having never felt very sad about that sort of thing before. But, Virgil seemed to really like the flower he’d found last time, so Patton thought he was probably sad on the boy’s behalf.

Of course, Patton thought, perking up, eventually it would be spring, and Virgil could get to not only see flowers but see all of the flowers grow. Patton couldn’t wait to see him amongst the garden then.

 Virgil took them wandering through the orchard for a while, but most of the trees had been stripped of their fruits. They ended up in the food garden after a bit, and Virgil finally seemed to decide on the direction instead of just ambling about.

A few seconds after Patton noticed Virgil seemingly decide on a destination, Patton noticed Mr. Deknis kneeling on the ground a few feet away. Had… had Virgil been looking for him? Patton wondered. That was adorable.

Mr. Deknis looked up as they approached and smiled at them.

“Hello, Mr. Deknis,” Patton said as they came closer.

 “Hello you three,” Mr. Deknis said. “Getting into trouble?”

“No,” Virgil said, shaking his head.

Mr. Deknis gave him a flash of a smile. “I know, I’m joking,” he said. “Especially since there isn’t much left in my gardens for certain princes to destroy with experiments.”

“Oh, okay,” Virgil said. He tilted his head. “What are you doing?”

“I’m getting the last of the acorn squash out,” Mr. Deknis replied. “It’s the last crop to get finished. Good thing too, it’s supposed to start snowing soon.”

Virgil looked down curiously at the dark green squash.

“Would you like to help me pick a couple?” Mr. Deknis asked.

 “Sure,” Virgil said, sounding interested. Mr. Deknis patted the ground beside him and Virgil knelt down to watch him.

“They’re not too difficult to harvest,” he said. “You just cut the fruit off the stem. You want to leave about a hand’s width of the stem left over which will help preserve moisture. The earlier harvests, I left in the field to cure in the sun for a couple weeks, but the frost’ll ruin them so we’ll take them inside the green house and let them sit in the sun for a bit there. We also want to keep the leaves. You’ll probably be eating those for dinner tonight since they have to be cooked up within about 24 hours after they’re picked. Patton’s mom makes a good side dish with them and she’ll be making some curry tomorrow, probably. Maybe some stew if there are some leftover.”

 “Put the squash in this wheelbarrow and the leaves into this pile, okay?” Virgil nodded and Mr. Deknis handed him the extra pair of gloves and shears he carried with him in case one set broke. “These might be a bit big on your, but they should work for now.”

Mr. Deknis looked up at Patton and Logan. “Would the two of you like to help?” he asked. “I can get some more equipment.”

“I can help out if you want, but you don’t need to stop and get more equipment just for me,” Patton said.

“The same for me,” Logan said.

“Well, if you’d like to help still, you can sort the leave. Give your mother a head start.”

 “Sure,” Patton said. He and Logan went to do that while Mr. Deknis and Virgil worked on cutting the squashes from the vine.

“What do you do during the winter?” Virgil asked curiously. “If this is your last crop.”

“Well, at the beginning, I mostly will be working on making sure things are stored correctly along with some of the kitchen staff. There’s some drying to do and some canning. After that’s done, I’ll spend some time organizing and planning. Then, before the spring comes, I’ll start preparing seedlings in the green house.”

“Seedlings?” he asked.

“I let seeds start to grow in the greenhouse that I replant once it gets warm enough.”

 “Why don’t you just plant them where they’re going?”

“I do for some,” he said, “but giving some a head start is good for them.”

Patton watched as Virgil continued to ask questions about gardening while working on harvesting the squash. Mr. Deknis continued to answer them in a calm, soft tone that Patton didn’t think he’d ever heard from the often gruff man before.

Patton wasn’t surprised when, after finishing getting most of the squash off of the vine, Mr. Deknis asked if Virgil wanted to help him with canning some pears in a couple of days. Virgil immediately looked over at Logan and Patton as though asking permission.

“Say yes if you want to Virgil,” Logan said.

 “Yes,” Virgil said as soon as he was given permission. Mr. Deknis smiled at him softly and started loading the last of the squash into the wheelbarrow. Patton offered to run the squash leaves to the kitchen while Logan and Virgil helped Mr. Deknis take the actual squash to the green house.

He dropped the leaves off to a kitchen worker since Mama was busy and headed back out to the garden. By the time he returned, Logan was already back from the green house and sitting by one of the more decorative trees near the castle.

“He’s exploring,” Logan said, nodding at the large patch of bushes.

 Patton chuckled. “I see.” He sat next to Logan. Every so often he’d hear the bushes rustle, but he couldn’t tell if it was actually Virgil or an animal.

“He’s adorable,” Patton commented, keeping an ear out.

Logan hummed.

“I’m glad we kept him.”

“He isn’t a pet, Patton.”

Patton rolled his eyes. “I know, but I��m still glad. I’m glad he’s making friends with Mr. Deknis. Once he knows how to read better, we should get him a book about gardening. He seems interested.”

Logan nodded. “Having a hobby would be good for him. Clearly he has a fascination with the garden.” He nodded to the blur of dark hair that could be seen through the bushes. It seemed Virgil had stopped his exploration and was now laying down in the bushes a few feet away.

 “I’m going to go see what he’s doing,” Patton said. “I’ll be right back.”

Logan nodded and Patton got to his feet. The bushes were part of a small maze that was filled with flowers during the spring and summer months but were mostly just green and brown bushes for now. Despite the fact that Patton had been able to see him only a few feet away, it took him a while to wind through the path to where he was. When he finally turned the last corner and he came into view, Patton gasped softly.

“Ghost kitty!” he said, making sure to make his voice as quiet as possible.

 Despite how soft he made his voice, two pairs of eyes shot over to him. The completely black kitten was perched on Virgil’s lap like she belonged there. Ghost Kitty hissed slightly, but Virgil reached forward to pet her head gently.

“This is Ghost Kitty?” Virgil asked. “I thought you said she was hard to pet.”

“She is,” Patton said. He lowered himself onto the ground from a few feet away from them. “How did you get her to come to you?”

Virgil glanced down at the cat and shrugged, scratching one of her ears. “She just came over to me and let me pet her.”

 “Wow,” Patton said softly. He looked at the cat. “Could I pet you sweetie?” he asked, holding out a hand in her direction. She hissed again.

Virgil frowned down at her. “It’s Patton,” he said as though he expected to understand his words and the exasperation in the tone he said them in.

He pet the cat’s head to soothe her and then reached over to grab Patton’s hand. He pulled and Patton carefully leaned a bit closer until his hand was within sniffing distance. Ghost Kitty sniffed his fingers contemplatively and then bumped her head against it. He barely restrained a squeal, knowing that probably wouldn’t be taken well.

 He carefully turned his hand over so he could stroke the top of her head. He gently scratched her ear, not daring to go for under her chin yet since she didn’t know him well. “Hi,” he said softly. After a moment, she started to purr softly. Virgil reached over and scratched under her chin and she purred louder. “Oh, you’re a good girl,” Patton breathed, letting a hand trail gently down her back once and then again. Patton settled himself carefully into a seating position continuing to pet her. After a few more moments of soft petting, she hesitantly stepped her front paws onto Patton’s thigh so she was sitting in both of their laps. Patton laughed softly. “Hi sweetie.” He glanced over at Virgil who had a wide smile on his face as he pet the cat. This. This was adorable. They continued to pet the cat for a very long time.

[melodyalanaroster]

To answer some Fanfic Questions...

So, this is my response to @broxklynn‘s post... I decided to make this its own post... So that It can be properly answered.

1. How and why did you start to write? Is there some kind of story behind it?

I started writing in general when I was in elementary school... Back when I just had a Platform 9 3/4 journal, not many friends, recess, and a desire to immerse myself in the world of Harry Potter. I enjoyed writing, and even joined the Writer’s Club in High School (but I eventually left to join Anime Club and Divergent Thinking Society). As for writing MCL fanfiction, I began writing Sam’s and Alana’s stories as early as when I first got into the fandom, back in 2013. Alana’s story started out as “A Fresh Start”, had a one shot called “When I Wake”, then turned into “Let The Dawn Be Broken”, and is now “The Melancholy Of Melody Alana Roster”. The final product barely has any hints of the first 3... In fact, Sam’s story, “Fighting Darkness”, has been completely debunked due to what I’ve decided to canonize in “The Melancholy Of Melody Alana Roster”. Writing MCL fanfiction has been a major help in distracting me from the depression that was caused by family issues, severe abuse, Stockholm Syndrome, my mom’s disease and her death, as well as working at several shitty jobs. Writing has helped me escape reality and keep myself sane enough to not be a black hole of hate, anger, and sadness to my friends and boyfriend.

2. What do you struggle the most with your writing?

There are 2 major things I struggle with... 1 is Timing. I often set deadlines for myself that I never meet and it makes me so frustrated that I miss them... There are currently things in my drafts that were meant to be “Holiday Specials” for Valentine’s Day and Halloween 2020 that are still unfinished... It makes me feel like I’m letting my readers down, when its more of me letting myself down... The other thing is Inspiration. Because I hate my job, I often think about Alana’s story in an effort to not be completely consumed by the fact that I do hate my work... Due to that, I often come up with ideas for my story that I think are FANTASTIC for my story... But, by the time I get home, I’m either in too much pain or too tired to write, or I’ve forgotten the ideas...

3. What is your favorite genre to write?

I love writing Romance with a bit of Slice of Life and a hint of Action/Adventure... 

4. Slowburn or “Flame”/PWP?

Slow burn any day.

5. How do you overcome writer’s block?

If I absolutely can’t write... I work on other stuff I need to do... Typically, something around the house, or something online I need to do... I also look for cool stuff to add to wish lists... I’ll occasionally play videogames or read comic books... In an effort to subvert writer’s block, I like having multiple chapters in my drafts at once. If I’m not in the mood to work on one chapter, I can work on a different one.

6. What kind of thing you dislike the most, when reading a fanfiction? (for example: particular plot, grammar mistakes)

One thing that makes me upset (and it makes me madder when I do this) is misspelling... Especially when it looks like its almost blatant... You have autocorrect, USE IT! Or when a fanfic is so awful, yet the author acts like their work is a gift from god... I don’t mind a “bad” fanfiction... Hell, the concept of “My Immortal” is so bad that its hilarious... But Fifty Shades did a lot of damage and E.L. James acts like she’s bigger than Jesus... Seriously, she wrote Twilight fanfiction, changed some minor details and names, people who have no knowledge of BDSM ate it up, and she acts like she’s a “Sex and Relationship Guru”...

7. What’s the biggest issue for you, when writing a Beemoov fanfiction?

The biggest issue for me is finding out when to allow for Beemoov’s writing and placement to take place in my story. I don’t like a lot of the events of UL and LL, so I’m often finding myself in a position where I have to watch video playthroughs and go “Okay, how can I omit this character, but keep this scene?”. I’ve had to do that A LOT with Alexy and Rosalaya.... Although, to a certain extent, I’ll often cut their scenes out altogether. I really hate what Beemoov did to them. They were great characters in HSL, but became utter shit in UL and stayed shit in LL. To make up for Beemoov’s writing style, I’ve created my own characters, added in old characters (like Kentin and Armin), added in bits from the manga (like Viktor, Severina and their fathers), and gone off on my own storyline. The Melancholy Of Melody Alana Roster is close to MCL at times, but often veers off onto its own road.

8. Have you ever created a character based on person in real life? (celebrity, someone that you know, etc)

YES!!! A LOT of characters in my story are based on real people! Alana’s step-father, Nate Films, is closely based on Nathan Fillion. A lot of her family members are based on members of my own family, just changed a bit to fit the story. Lynne Roster, Alana’s mom, is what I had always dreamed my own mom would be... Hell, Alana’s cat, Sylvester, is based on my own childhood cat, Luna.

9. How do you feel about your own characters? Do you think of them as your babies or have rather love-hate relationship with them? (And, do you have favorite one?)

I love most of my characters. I do hate 3 in particular... But, you’re supposed to hate, or at least not respect, them... That’s why I poured my hatred into them... Those 3 are Carol, Kai and Azrael. Carol has aspects of my abuser in her. You’ll see more of her when I finally post the HSL related chapters... And understand what I mean... Kai is based on one of my real life cousins that I’ve not been happy with for years (the one who my bf has deemed “the family failure”). You mainly see him in the Cousin Mels chapters, and in the Christmas Special... Azrael is the one who is seen the most in the UL chapters, and she is a main adversary for Alana. She is the one who broke her the most, the one who ended Alana’s relationship with Nathaniel, the one who truly traumatized her. As for ones I love... The one I love the most is Alana... I know, she’s a reflection of me, so that’s kind of vain... But, she’s a part of me. When I do finish her story and am at the point where I need to say “Goodbye”, it will hurt....

10. Enemies-to-lovers or friends/bestfriends-to lovers?

Definitely friends/best friends to lovers. I also like toying with what happens when best friends turn to lovers, but circumstance parts them and one moves on...

11. Is it easy for you to get inside your character’s head? Can you empathize with them? Is there’s some similarities between you and your main character?

It is VERY easy for me to get into Alana’s head... Like I said in #9, she is a reflection of me. She looks and acts like how I’d like to in a lot of situations... Her life is more interesting, traumatized, and more well off than mine... But, she is still me in major ways...

12. Who has been the biggest supporter of your writing?

Definitely my boyfriend. He doesn’t really understand the game itself... But, he likes how happy it makes me and he respects how much of my heart, soul, blood, sweat and tears that I’ve poured into writing my story. He loves listening to me read passages from it to him while I’m working. He gives me advice and his opinion is highly valued... My family knows I’m writing a large story, and have seen some of the images that I’ve gotten commissioned, but they don’t really know or care about the game. They do respect the fact that I am writing. They love the fact that I’m slightly following in my mom’s footsteps in that regard (she wrote 3 books and several poems). My online friends have been very supportive as well! I’m constantly updating them on what I’ve worked on each day in my Discord Server and the words of encouragement always help.

13. How do you handle criticism?

Not well. Due to the abuse and family issues mentioned in #1, for a good amount of my life, I’ve gotten nothing but harsh criticism... So, now that I’m away from all that, at 26 years old, I’m just now getting to a point where I’m starting to take it better... But, I’ve got a long way to go.

14. Do you like giving your characters trauma? Why/why not?

I hate sounding like a sadist... But, I’m going to anyway, so fuck it... Yes. I have done awful things to Alana over the years. In A Fresh Start, she got sexually assaulted and ostracized. In When I Wake, she gets into a car crash, put into a coma, and in her dream state murdered by Francis in front of Nathaniel. In Let The Dawn Be Broken, the plan was for her to end a war. In “The Melancholy of Melody Alana Roster”, her childhood cat dies, her mom gets sick, she gets abused by Carol, her best friends get ripped away from her for a bit, she gets sent to a country halfway around the world alone, she gets assaulted and ultimately turned into a weapon of mass destruction.... I’ve even thought of killing her mom off at one point... But decided against it...

Now, granted, A Fresh Start and Let The Dawn Be Broken never saw completion, but happy endings were planned for them...

I do this, all while giving Alana happy endings in each story because “If Alana can go through utter hell and make it through, then so can I.”... I know, I’m “god” in that regard and I can control how Alana’s life is.... But, the fact that in my writing, she ends up standing tall, happy, with everything she wants, after everything she goes through does make me feel better.... 

15. Are you proud of yourself? When you look at first piece you wrote and compare it to the latest one?

Yes. If you look at A Fresh Start, you can tell it was written by someone fresh out of High School. There’s no real depth to it. Let The Dawn Be Broken isn’t much better... But, The Melancholy of Melody Alana Roster has become my magnum opus. It is the largest piece I have EVER written, and will probably remain the largest piece I write. I am very proud of what I have created... And when its last word is written, and I am ready to get it made for it’s place on my shelf, I will feel very bittersweet about it... That being said, my original plan for a sequel involving Nathaniel’s and Alana’s daughter, Aurora, has been discarded. I don’t believe Aurora could ever have as much of my heart that her parents do...

And there you have it! Some insight into my world, writing, and history!

[chiimmchiimm]

❝𝖒𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗 !¡ 𝐸𝓁𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃 ❞

CHAPTERS “  01 - 02 - 03 - 04 - 05 - 06 - 07 - 08 - 09 - 10 -  11  - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 “  

The northern jail was the most dangerous in the country, social scum, thousands of criminals were locked behind their bars. Who would tell poor Blair that he would end up there because of his father’s mistake. The problem was not the lack of hot water, but that inhuman obsession that many of the prisoners had for “new toys.” Rookies had two options; be submissive and abide by veterans’ orders or suffer the dangerous anger of those disturbed minds. It all started one night when Blair had the bad idea of ​​going to shower alone. 

𝒫𝒶𝒾𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔: Jungkookoffender au x (female: Blair). 𝒢𝑒𝓃𝓇𝑒:  smut.(later), offender au, fluff, angst. 𝒲𝑜𝓇𝒹𝓈: 7.6 k 𝑅𝒶𝓃𝓆𝓊𝒾𝓃𝑔:  +18   𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔:   dirty language, lies, mood swings, spectacular bodies, jk abs, muscles, biceps, problems, very big problems, threats, future friends, jealousy, fellatio attempt, a forced rescue. 𝒜𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇’𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒:  I am sorry that it took a long time to upload a new chapter but I was really busy. Now there is a reporter in which I am free and I have time to write. I hope you accept my apologies with the long chapter. Enjoy the chapter. Many kisses...

  A week had passed since the last time we had spoken. Uncertainty is the most overwhelming feeling a person can feel. Choking you by stealing your oxygen until there is nothing left of you. Not knowing if your way down the hall is going to end with a knife stuck in the throat, if the steps you hear are the invention of your paranoid head.

    I was fully aware, and now more than ever, of the problem I had gotten myself into. But he would not back down, Shanghai was the queen bee of a swarm that fed on the pain of others. At some point someone had to stop his feet. Was that someone me? I did not know, I did not know it. I guess I would find out in time.

What I did not expect was that this discovery would occur in less than I expected.

    The cold marble in the bathrooms greeted the patella of my knees with a chilling moisture when I placed them on the floor. The small puddle of water just below me only gave rise to thinking that the pipes were full of leaks that they did not want to fix. He groaned in anticipation, the curtain of my eyes pulled down so I didn't have to see him. A heartbreaking tear ran down my cheek drawing a path of anguish. I tucked my abdomen in to prevent the retching that was beginning to threaten deep in my throat from taking shape and making an appearance.

"You can start whenever you want, for the part that you like the most." His voice was darkly inserted between the strings of lights scattered by the poor quality of the bulbs due to the habit of turning off the power generators at night. My head was still downcast, keeping my gaze lost somewhere on the floor wondering if this really was necessary. I didn't dare look at him because I didn't want him to notice how much this situation affected me. I felt disgusted with myself for falling so low, for having accepted this situation. Sweaty fingers gripped my chin so hard forcing me to look down at his horrendous perverted grimace. Her lips peeled off with a snap that made her swallow again quite nervously.

                                                                                                     24 hours before

   Cross your legs with one hand resting on my upper thigh area to support my head. The air she breathed was getting thicker, she was having an anxiety attack but she was so tired that she had no energy to run to the infirmary. My body was under so much stress that the pressure on my chest would be my companion throughout the day. Many cramps of incessant and annoying punctures in my stomach had me a little curved as I squinted by the intense rays of the sun that made it difficult to see the crowded door.

   When I dazzled his yellow jumpsuit from afar, my feet fell heavily to the ground alone. He swatted the door aside, not caring about the guard's watchful gaze. On instinct, my chin was lifted up as my eyes followed every detail of his walk. Safe and passive, in a dance too intimidating. The instant his dark eyes like night perceived my small figure in the distance, his mouth was endowed with a strange smile impregnated with mischief. She tasted nervous to me even though it was practically impossible for her to notice her hands from afar. Still, he read me with complete familiarity as if it were an open book. That was one of the countless things that disturbed me most about him, he could look at you, analyze you and guess in a second what was going intimately through your head while he penetrated you with his calm gaze tasteless.

    With your lead feet, move towards your position. On high alert, without taking his eyes off mine although it will be too difficult for me, taking the risk of stumbling over my zero attention.

Thirteen laid his back on the fence that separated the basketball court from the bench area. Then he brought his cigarette to his mouth so turtily slow. Upon arrival, I began to visualize a glow on the surface of his iris that was very curious to me. He seemed anxious and the relamer of his lips brought my theory closer to success.

    Despite the clarity of the sun I was able to visualize in great detail the cloud of smoke that it made when I exhaled. He straightened up slowly, imposing his height on purpose. I was forced to lift my neck higher to look at him. One of his hands cleared a pair of loose strands, his tattooed forearm came into view as a symbol of attraction. He wore the yellow jacket rolled up to the elbows causing the part of his biceps to widen due to the accumulation of fabric.

“Nervous?” She spoke, her voice hoarser than normal. He puffed on his cigarette again and blew the smoke aside. His well-formed jaw was exposed to my restless eyes that could not stop looking at him when he was close. I felt an overwhelming need not to miss the detail of his muscles contracting, to relax later when the smoke left his body. Where had that curiosity come from? Really, since our little talk at the gym the uncertainty had created a big question mark in my head about him.

“Does smoking kill you know?” He chided at his outlandish way of fucking my lungs. Thirteen frowned as she held the cigarette with her lips.

"Since when do you care about my health?"

"Since your damn smoke drops down my throat," he coughed as an irritating itch began to manifest itself at the unexpected intrusion of smoke. Of course, I do not understand how there are people who can find something as suffocating as pleasant. Thirteen lips parted to let out his typical mocking laugh. I was so entertained trying not to drown that I didn't realize how close I was until I felt his breath on my ear, then I was paralyzed by the brush of his wet lips.

"I know something much better to make it go down your throat ..."

  My breathing was caught in a dangerous game when I stopped controlling it. I widened my eyes when I understood his damn pun. Demanding my personal space I stepped back to meet her newly formed half smile. Hands flew to my jug-shaped waist, and my eyes frowned on his stupid mania for saying things too raucous so sporadically. He was laughing just like a child enjoying his hooliganism. My heart was hitting so hard against my ribs as if trying to run away. The nerves he provoked in me kept me fully aware of his reactions.

"Thirteen." A deep voice made us both turn to meet his soul friend; Taehyung. I discovered her real name just after leaving the infirmary. It was unmistakable before my eyes, he had such a characteristic expression, I only had to ask the nurse. Anyone would know who he is if he just described his square smile. His height gave him such an imposing figure. Not to mention his face that seemed to have been sculpted by the greatest prodigy of sculptors.

   Thirteen threw the cigarette on the floor and then stepped on it scattering a black stain of ash. Taehyung stared at me through too apparent confusion that managed to attract his friend's attention. I raise an eyebrow and pursed my lips for an explanation. So, look at Thirteen in confusion from the highest. He clicked his tongue as if he knew it was his fault and his bad memory, when really, he hadn't told them anything because he didn't want them to know.

"He's going to do the math for me, you know that was never my forte."

"Suga has always done the math."

"Suga is busy with another matter." Besides, damn, when did I ask your fucking opinion? ”He growled annoyed as he hit his shoulder as he passed. Taehyung frowned in fascination with the hypocritical attitude his brown friend was wearing. Thirteen stopped halfway and turned in my direction. Her gaze looked so cold I could even swear she managed to freeze me with it. "Come on, you little bitch."

   My features relaxed instantly leaving me petrified. My mouth opened. Taehyung sighed in relief as he shrugged at me before following his friend's steps. My stomach flinched so much when he turned around and continued on his way. But it was all my fault. My damn guilt for thinking there might be something good inside him, clearly not.

   So, with dignity touched but not sunk, I decided to take the opposite path but a jerk brutally dragged me forward. I grasped my fingers at his large, wrist-wrapped hand digging in the few nails he had while screaming furiously.

   My resistance only made him growl and drag me close to his mouth to make sure it was only me who heard what he had to say.

"It's for your own good, dammit, behave yourself."

  Apparently the card game was the most acclaimed among the bored criminals in jail because within minutes they began to form a large circle around Thirteen and his opponent. A blue-eyed blonde with a scar on his wrist and an expression of few friends.

    I didn't understand the purpose of having me sit here with my arms crossed. He literally carried the entire game idly as he watched the deck go down the level.

  Thirteen seemed so focused and engrossed, analyzing in detail every gesture the blonde made. As if really looking at him so much solved the enigma that would give him victory. His friend Taehyung was behind him, standing, covering the letters so that no one could see them and give any clue to the ash blonde.

  Then something happened that turned the game around. The blonde smiled triumphantly as if he knew it was all done. Thirteen was still impassive, showing absolutely nothing that could give him away.

  How could he maintain so much self-control?

   There was security in every movement, so much tranquility. It all came to an end when the ash blonde unveiled all his letters. Taehyung, who had remained calm until then, began to expand his eyes to the maximum and open his mouth as if what he has just seen was not real.

"I've won," added the ash blonde to record the situation even though it was already known. Some began to bitorea the winner, others to maintain an expression of total surprise. Thirteen was the only one who hadn't shown his reaction by standing still. He didn't seem affected by the fact that he had just lost, he just didn't seem affected by anything.

 Until, in an act that surprised me, he suddenly got up and grabbed the ash of his neck until he stamped his face on the stone of the bench.

"Barbie, come here." My name is.

 I slowly get up from my place and walk on an oppressed stomach. His voice sounded so serene and so aggressive at the same time, that if he wasn't crushing a face with such intensity, he could even swear he was in a good mood. The arm that was holding her anatomy lay tensed, exposing her perfect muscles. As he leaned down, the white shirt fell slightly showing his clavicles and his thick neck where it was possible to discern how the marked vein gave a clear image of his anger.

    Really, Thirteen was intimidating.

"Take the letter out of his arm."

 The ash tried to break free but Trece tightened his grip and his cheek was literally hit harder. He groaned instantly. One of his friends, in a panic, started running out of there, but didn't get very far since Jimin intercepted him with a hand on his shoulder. Putting aside the fact that everyone was waiting for me to move. With great modesty I put my fingers inside the sleeve of the arm that Thirteen kept folded against his back. When my fingers touched something, I pulled it out.

   It was a fucking letter.

   Immediately, the ash and his friend looked fearful. The rest of the prisoners began to leave while they insulted the game and the two cheats. Thirteen smiled impatiently when he confirmed with my own hand the bad move they had tried to make. The one who tried to escape began to clasp his hands in a kind of plea but Thirteen did not change the darkness of his eyes, fire came out of them.

  Nodding towards the door, Taehyung took his place. The two friends were abruptly lifted. Then, they began to carry them around the courtyard comfortably with one arm over their shoulder. Concealing the guards who were watching the situation with too much attention.

"Wait ..." I was almost forced to stop him when I tried to get out of there. Thirteen turned around. He put his hands in his pockets and raised an eyebrow. "What's going to happen to them?"

   My sudden question seemed to cause him a lot of fun as he started to laugh, not normally, but with a laugh stained with something dark that I managed to decipher in anticipation.

"Don't worry about them. Well done."

   Then, I realized myself that I really didn't want her to answer the question. My conscience would not let me sleep at night.

   Because after all, I got the letter out. It had been part of his game.

    Did that make me a bad person?

   The money I was hiding in my pants was dirty. It was stained with the blood of those two bastards. Because as much as I tried to convince myself that nothing happened to them, that it was just a warning. I couldn't ignore the fact of seeing his knuckles with wounds. Thirteen had assured me with a smile that they had taken what they deserved for cheats.

    Was this the price I had to pay for a little money?

    Since when had I become someone without feelings?

   I had heard something in a conversation between two prisoners as I returned to my ward. I was forced to follow my path too affected when I heard that one of them had to be rushed to the hospital, and that the other was not known if he was still alive or dead.

 In the end, I was able to sigh quietly when I saw the start of my cell.

"For your own good, you better not say anything."

  I almost fell disoriented when a body much larger than mine collided directly against me. I looked up, confused, greatly surprised when I recognized the person. Gutiérrez, he looked at me with contempt before ignoring my state and moving on. I frowned annoyed at his lack of finesse as he passed me. When I entered, I found Lucy standing in the middle of the cell, staring blankly at the entrance.

"It will be stupid," I commented as I rubbed my arm to ease the pain. Lucy looked at me immediately with a scared expression. Alarmed, she approached me in a stride full of anxiety.

"Have you heard something?"

"No. Practically she had just arrived when she rammed me ..." Her sigh of relief fills me with curiosity. Worried, I purse my lips. "What was I doing here?"

"Annoy. You know what the guards are like in this prison. They live on our misfortunes. It seems that they are paid more to screw us up."

"Yes, well ... I have the money."

   I reached into my pants and pulled out the paper bag. Thirteen warned me to bring my hands up to avoid any search. I decided to listen to him because, well ... He seems to be an expert at pretending what you are not.

  I was never so eager to see someone. We had been waiting a couple of minutes for the Asian to appear. Minutes that seemed like an eternity. Time seemed to slow down because of the low bathroom lights.

   The door swung open. Two Asian women and the brunette who was attached to Shanghai entered and stood in front of us. His contemptuous glances did not divert me from my main objective, since when I enter Shanghai through the door. My gaze was quickly drawn to her.

"Are you bringing mine?"

  Lucy showed the paper bag making the Asian smile with her yellow teeth. I observe in a quick movement the brunette, who took the money from her almost by force. Lucy and I looked at each other in unison as if trying to calm down.

 Really, a fight would not be right now.

"There are a thousand," the brunette announced to Shanghai when she stopped counting. Suddenly, the Asian woman increased her smile. I recognized that smile, it was the same one that made me my first night, when he threatened me in the bathroom before Thirteen came. I took Lucy's hand knowing what was coming next.

"It's only fair." Lucy spoke.

"And the interests of your delay?" You know the rules, Dallas.

"I know the fucking rules but ...

 Shanghai raised his hand to silence her. So, I started to get nervous when I finally understood what I wanted.

"How much are we talking about?"

   All eyes turned to me but I only paid attention to one. Shanghai understood that he was speaking to her directly, that he wanted her to get out of the loop and would start listing all the absurd things she would claim. I felt the fear take over each of my movements clouding me for a few moments. I wondered if it had been a good idea for me to decide to get so involved in this. Of course, it was never a good idea and it would never seem so. Something inside me had changed, although I couldn't say exactly what. I no longer trembled when intimidated (or at least not so much anymore). I had learned to cope with my reactions to protect myself. I suppose he owed that to Thirteen. Because in a way, it felt like he was going to look for his memory to take out my courage by imitating him.

 Shanghai replied with a concise smile.

"Why did you have to open your mouth? Now you're in on this too. Shit, Blair you don't know what you've done."

      Was I aware of where I had gotten into?

 I guess I would find out very soon. After getting out of those smelly bathrooms let Lucy rest in the cell. As soon as I saw his eyes closed, I shot out to look for him. I know you shouldn't do this. But really, this was going down too dangerous a path. Did that make me a sneak? In a traitor? Probably yes. But shit, there were no options. A couple of hours ago I had run out of ideas and the only one that came to my mind was too mean.

  But at the same time, so perfect ...

  Thirteen had already saved me from that psychopath once. Why wouldn't he do it with his sister?

  The guilt seized me so hard that I was hanging with my knuckles on the door of his cell. I didn't know for sure if it was remorse or fear of telling him about it that kept me from ending this. It was clear that things would not end peacefully, or at least not for Shanghai.

  Also, this was my problem, why the hell did I run for his help?

     When had I become so dependent on his protection?

“What are you doing in my cell?” A rather raspy voice interrupted my little mental gloom. Exhale a little air before turning to the person. I recognized him immediately. He was the boy with the minty hair who was always glued to Thirteen's back like a second skin. He was taller than I was if I had to look up to find his gaze sharp as a cat in heat. He wore the regulation jumpsuit, if not, it covered his entire body but you could see perfectly how strong he was despite how thin he looked. His features were too soft and pale, yet he exuded as much annoyance as boredom that any thought of tenderness was far from related to him. The menthol peeled his lips so that the silence ended with his snap. He couldn't understand why he was so annoyed by my presence. "I asked you a question." Have you tried so much semen that your neurons have collapsed?

"It's also Thirteen's cell," I replied, trying not to sound too abrupt. I was disrespecting him and in normal conditions I would have already turned his face with a slap, but really time was a factor that was against me and I couldn't lose it. My response felt like a bowl of cold water because he immediately rolled his eyes and passed by me as if he didn't exist. When the cell opened and my eyes came into contact with it I was really disappointed when I found it empty.

"As you can see he's not here." So, get out.

  Ignoring his bad tone I go after him.

"And do you know where it might be?"

"I'm not his fucking babysitter. If you want to find him so bad, you better start now." I suggest you start with getting out of my cell, girl. ”He let out low growls in a menacing tone, then collapsed on his bed. My eyes grew small when I watched him from the doorway.

"Why are you so edge?"

    I haven't done anything to him.

 My question made him jerk upright on the mattress as if he had heard the worst blasphemy in the world. Actually, he seemed surprised but he instantly disgusted me with his gaze. He placed his hand above her knee as he pulled her leg up onto the mattress.

"You are going to be the cause of all this going to hell."

Than? But what is he talking about?

"Good morning." Another voice stood in the cell, although this second one seemed much more lively than the one my old conversation partner had. Taehyung passed by me with all the happiness in the world until he saw me, suddenly stopped and looked at the menthol. He made a gesture with his hand before he dramatically dropped his body onto his bed.

"I'm looking for Thirteen," I repeated, but this time towards Taehyung. The brown-haired man frowned somewhat self-consciously. Damn, was his whereabouts so secret that everyone would think twice whether to tell me or not?

"I already told you that larg ..."

 But it was interrupted by the highest.

"He's with Jimin at the gym."

   Sighing grateful for a bit of information, I ran out of the cell, but not before, thanking Taehyung with a little tap on his shoulder. I heard from afar, as I went downstairs, the screams coming from the menthol but I didn't care too much.

    The gym area was really remote from all other facilities (if the patio could be called that despite its terrible lack of space for all inmates). It seemed like the most protected room in all this shit of a place. Maybe because of the heavy metal-filled instruments that could transform into a weapon if your imagination was creative. He had even heard that most of the prisoners were vented in a small ring in the middle of the gym. I had only seen him from afar because I never had the courage to approach him, much less when he was being busy. It was too intimidating. The thought that faces had been broken in that place gave me great and deep respect.

  I came to think at one point that Taehyung had lied to me and that he had only told me that to accomplish what his friend had failed to do, get me out of there. It was full of prisoners training but not the prisoner he really wanted to find. When I finally gave up and spun around, a loud crash from a falling body made me retrace my steps.

    So, I found him. There. Climbed in that ring that scared me so much while hitting the protections that Jimin had in his hands.

   I fell into the serious mistake of coming to look for him when I found he was only wearing his uniform pants. My pulse quickened immediately as my unconscious caught all of my control and my eyes began to run through all of his muscles. It was the first time I had seen him like this, so naked. So exposed. The rational part of my head was screaming at me to turn around, to stop looking at him. And yet my body did not want to obey me. I couldn't stop looking at him. It was so perfect. So strong. So admirable was the attractive shape his muscles took when, in an act of outburst, he cunningly struck. His arms were wonderful no matter where you look. Long and thick, with the proportions that not many in years of training would achieve. His was genetic. It should be a crime to be so attractive. Long ago I had delighted (though I will never accept it out loud) from the broad muscles of his back. Now, he couldn't stop going down the marked line that separated his pecs, not very marked, but enough to steal his breath. Of course her abdomen was something else. The muscles lay so gracefully drawn in symmetrical squares in pairs of two.

    My lip was brutally attacked by my teeth when I was finally able to regain control of my actions and look away.

   Suddenly, the banging stopped being heard. I started to show a tickle in my stomach when I found out that he had noticed me despite not looking at him. I started to feel little cramps all over my abdomen. It is that uncomfortable feeling you feel when you know they are looking at you but you don't have the courage to do the same. A large part of me was tempted to leave, but a smaller part seemed to want to stay and keep looking.

  I knew that I had finally reached my last days when a shadow completely covered mine.

“What are you hiding from?” I whisper, leaning directly into my ear. I didn't know at what point he had gotten so close but I did know that when the wet surface of his lips brushed the skin of my ear, I turned my startled face and stared at him with wide eyes. Fortunately, she had put on a tank top that although the sweat didn't leave much to the imagination, at least it didn't stimulate so much the beginning hormones in my body.It was a damn tank top, it really wasn't that big of a deal. Removing the fact that he exposed his great arms and the wonderful details of his tattoos. I realized that it was the first time I saw them all. His right arm was full of them, it was so striking to see that in one arm he had nothing and in the other he lacked space for more. I could only look at the tattoo of a flower by the ink softer than the rest, this one covered a phrase that I could not discern due to lack of time.

   Then, having regained even the ability to speak and breathe of my own free will. I decided to look him in the face. He looked tired, well, he looked more like a damn sweaty pig. But the reflection of the lights against the drops on his face was so charming that it prompted you to dive into it again. He was disheveled, implying that his training had been moved and that he had not had many truces. Her chest moved rhythmically with up and down movements in an attempt to catch her breath. When he opened his mouth to increase the oxygen level in his body, I thought I was dumb again.

"Honey, if you wanted me to be agitated I can think of more than one way you could get him to be."

   Practically, the breath left my body when in a burst of laughter, its hoarse sound caressed my nose. She literally looked like a hormonal teenager who sighed every time she opened her mouth.

   I strenuously denied when the wires in my brain reconnected, I remembered, or rather forced myself to remember, the real reason for my visit.

"We have to talk," I said a little abruptly from the recent connection of my consciousness. Thirteen raised a curious eyebrow as he ran a hand through his wet hair to clear his splendid pearly forehead. I swallowed hard to keep the slime from overflowing from the corners of my mouth. His bicep bulged too close to my eyes ...

     Dammit. Enough, woman.

  He seems so comfortable making me nervous that I'm starting to think he does it on purpose.

"I hear you."

    Buffet, to calm down a bit before speaking. I really had no idea how to start.

"Gongjunim, don't worry, I bite. Unless you want me to, of course."

"Stop, this is serious," I replied in an attempt to calm me down in the process. It didn't help to hear his damn two-way phrases. I tried to focus on the conversation. Carefully analyze in my head the possible paths this could take. Basically I came to two conclusions: The first, to help me and his ... Anyway, you know. The second (although it seems much more extreme to me) is that it can be a possibility if we consider that Thirteen is not a mentally stable person, is that he retaliates much more seriously than giving him a little money. Dammit. Would I really be able to kill someone? Well, not for a good person, he went to jail and still couldn't find out what he had done to get him put here. And worst of all, to be sentenced to a permanent sentence. So, I found that little difference between the two. While I was an open book with people I considered to be trustworthy. He was more like a safe with a key that was impossible to crack.

  But the people who keep secrets are in turn the ones that attract the most because of that aura of mystery that they give off.

  Maybe that's why I can't stop thinking about him, despite how badly he treated me the first few weeks.

  Did you really want to be the cause of another transfer to the hospital?

 Because if there is one thing that can be made clear from the poker episode, it is that Thirteen is so terribly unpredictable that I am even afraid that he will change his attitude towards me again. I started to feel pretty bad. My head began to fill me with pros and cons that I did not know how to differentiate.

  There were two paths and for once I would take the easy one.

"I need money." I was aware of how overwhelmed my voice had come out, at the time, and emphasizing how nervous I was, I opened my mouth to cut the uncomfortable silence that had begun to reign. Thirteen raised his eyebrows in an act that I think could be a mixture of surprise and confusion. Slowly, he unraveled the smile until it became a straight line. There was an air of disappointment in his eyes. Why was you disappointed when you found out you were looking for him for money? Why would I look for it if not? And why the hell is my heart beating like it just ran a marathon?

“What did you do with the one I gave you?” Ignore the fact that its natural tone had been modified on a deeper level by the recent exercise. I was also forced to ignore how quickly she had recovered because I began to feel empty realizing that it hadn't affected her as much as I thought. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised because Thirteen is a good teacher in controlling his emotions.

 Will you ever let me see what you really feel?

"I need more," I added, trying my best to change the course of the conversation. But I really underestimated him too much.

"For what?"

"Personal business." My answer seemed to bother him a little because his shoulders tensed. Let's see, mine were also too tense from the pressure but obviously it was more intimidating in him. I started to feel the sweat on the palms of my hands when the nerves started to block me too hard. I had spent so much time thinking about how to tell him what had not fallen into the small detelle that I was obviously going to ask for explanations. I should have told him the truth but it was too late to back off. Looking a little anxious, I resumed the conversation as I could. "I need an advance. Come on, Thirteen, don't tell me that nobody has ever asked you for an advance on ..."

"Well no, they don't have the eggs to ask me. And the truth is, if I am intrigued enough what the hell did you do with the thousand dollars I gave you yesterday."

"I don't have time for this." Damn it, I really didn't. "I've only asked you one question. If your fucking ethics stop you from leaving me, well, that's fine, I'll manage on my own."

   Try to run away from there before I will be discovered or I would be the one to give you away in a panic attack. But his hand caught my wrist and held me tightly in place. Instinctively I looked down at our union, feeling a little strange to feel tickling from the area that stuck to my skin. The heat it transmitted was so comforting that when I took it off when I realized what I had just done, I left my body in such a way that I felt an innate anxiety to feel it again.

“Are you in trouble?” There was so much concern in his tone that I completely knocked down my defenses. I was about to fall. Really nothing. But the fear was stronger.

"What? Why are you saying that?" I tried to sound stable enough to convince him. But Thirteen was also a master of lies.

"In jail you only ask for more money for two reasons and I certainly don't think you pay someone to satisfy you sexually. Do you owe someone money?"

"No." I whispered.

   But he tilted his head, showing me how unconvinced he was about it.

"Tell me who it is." Truthfully, she wasn't quite sure if it was worry or anger camouflaged with some warning. I rolled my eyes to get more of his attention. Clearly, my bad performance did not help him to give up. I cross his big arms imposing the strength of his great anatomy, I felt small next to him. How I grasp my faithful intentions to keep quiet. This time it was he who rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue in exasperation. "Hey ..."

“Why are you trying so hard to help me?” I asked rather confused. I didn't want to sound as harsh as it sounds but really this thing made me very nervous.

"Gongjunim." His voice was so grainy when he changed languages.

"No, it's just that I really can't understand how suddenly you behave so well with me. That you want to help me ..."

  Thirteen closed her eyes and pulled her neck back as she blew hot air out of her mouth. His Adam's apple was exposed before my eyes leaving me completely unarmed. When I straighten her head she looked at me with an expression so tired, dull and depressed that I decided to let her speak.

"You are like a sister to Lucy, but you are also like a little sister to me."

You're like a sister to me.

  Why has my chest tightened so much when he called me sister? Is that really your reason to protect me or just a damn strategy for you to let your guard down and get the answer you wanted?

   Damn it, and why did it bother me so much to know that in her eyes she was just a child? His look confused me so much ... I did not know the origin of this discomfort nor did I understand how it was possible that with just one sentence I could lower my self-esteem in that way.

"Blair London go to address."

   Actually, I was never more grateful to a stranger. That voice had saved me from a situation from which there was no viable way out.

  The principal's secretary greeted me with a smile. I appreciated that he will be so gentle with me without caring that he was wearing the prisoner jumpsuit. Knock on the door. When the director indicated with a calm voice that it could happen, I did.

 I entered the office being quite disturbed by the strong aura change. The contrast in the perfectly carved custom furniture was not comparable to the dining tables littered with splinters and randomly scattered stains of moisture. I could even swear that the sofa at the end of the room with a small table in front of glass and two armchairs next to it, would be more comfortable than the moldy mattress where I tried to sleep every night.

"Normally these privileges are not usually given but considering that your behavior has not given to talk. I have decided to make an exception with you."

 When the director's voice broke the silence that I had imposed on myself when I entered, I looked towards her, completely abandoning my little sporadic exploration. The woman smiled, but it was not a sincere smile like that of her secretary, this was full of commitment. In a pathetic gesture, he tried to hide a black bag under his legs. I stifled a sarcastic laugh when I realized that her small gesture had been bought.

  He leaned his well-painted red fingers to pick up the phone from his drawer on the side of the desk. Then she slid it across the table causing him to continue his movement with a frown.

"You have two minutes."

 I didn't understand what I was looking for him to do until a number suddenly came up on the screen that I recognized instantly. Of course, accept his little trick. Although I must admit that when the screen of the device cooled the cartilage of my ear I began to wonder if I had really done well.

"Blair ..." My eyes were automatically closed at his sweet voice assaulting my tranquility. Of course I met her instantly. Who would not recognize his mother's voice? Although I admit that my stomach sank when I heard it so ruined.

"What do you want?" I swallowed to suppress a sob. "No, you better not tell me what you want." I really don't want to hear it.

"Honey ..." I deduced from his trembling tone that he had begun to cry. And shit, that completely disarmed me. "How are you?"

"It's jail, mom." Make your own conclusions.

"Blair ...

A screeching noise causes the audio to begin to distort. I pay much more attention to the background noise, hardly realizing that I was in the car when I heard from a distance the voice of my mother's driver arguing with someone.

"Mom, what's up?"

"Nothing, love. A man who started cleaning our windows when we stopped at the light. Jorge has kicked him out right away, I'm fine."

   I don't know why but the uncertainty eats me up inside.

"A man? What man?"

"An Asian with drunken pints. Don't worry my love, I'm ...

"Mom, come home right now and don't go out in a couple of days."

"Honey, you're scaring me." Something happens?

  I grab the bridge of my nose when anxiety keeps me from controlling my tone and end up screaming at the top of my lungs.

"Do what I say."

   I hang with my heart popping out of my mouth.

  My chest was swelling too quickly as I circled around the room. It had been more than half an hour since I had put my hands to my head and I couldn't get them down. I stopped for two seconds and began to hysterically observe the bars on the door. Perhaps it had been a coincidence, that is, there are many people on the street who are looking for money in order to survive. Maybe he was just a drunk as my mother had originally thought, or maybe ...

    Shit.

  When I thought I couldn't get any more nervous, I began to imagine the impression on my mother's face. I brought the nails to my mouth and started attacking them with my teeth.

“Do you have the money?” Lucy's unmistakable voice distracted me a little but not enough for me to let my ride go round. Apparently he noticed the scared face he was wearing that he deduced the result of his answer. Immediately, his shoulders dropped level and his chest began to destabilize like mine. "We can ask for more time ...

“I don't want to sound pessimistic but Lucy would be really naive if you really think that that psychopath is going to take pity on us and give us more time.” I am aware that right now my pessimism is the last thing we need, but the language It comes loose on my own when I get nervous. Lucy collapses into her bed too depressed. And shit, I can't stop thinking that this really is my fault ...” Lucy she doesn't want you ...” I immediately gained her gaze. “She wants to fuck me because I didn't want to be her fucking camel when I arrived.”

"I suppose he's going to do it now. Fuck us, you know ...”

  I sighed too exhausted from holding all the shit that was piling up on my shoulders.

"Damn what a nice word to express yourself, right?"

  Lucy turned frightened towards the door finding the owner of the voice. The black mane I saw on my back gave me the answer I needed. I also turned around and faced her with a serious look.

"We still have twelve hours."

 Lucy was speaking to her but she kept her eyes on my body.

"Let's be honest among women." We know you are not going to get me the money. I've come to an agreement before the situation gets uglier ...

“What do you want?” Lucy sounded too hysterical compared to the calm in Shanghai's voice. When I noticed that his gaze did not detach from me despite everything, I knew what he wanted.

"Lucy come out, please." The girl looked at me too confused. He raised an eyebrow worrying about the neutrality of my voice but finally he nodded and left the cell. When I was sure no one was listening, I told him the real reason for all this shit. "You want revenge on me, don't you?"

  The dramatic snap his tongue exudes only makes it clear that I was right.

"Thirteen told me you asked him for money," he says, laughing slightly as he tries to keep his tone steady. I frowned. Senti, an unpleasant sensation that pressed against my stomach when it got in the way of our conversation. "That is very pathetic, Barbie." What's more, did you really think he would give it to you?

   I grab the bridge of his nose as he deepened a laugh that was too high-pitched, and too excruciating. I closed my fists accordingly. In less than a second I was breathing erratically through my nose. I didn't know very well if I was losing control of the situation because he was belittling me, but it had bothered me a lot that he thought I was taken advantage of. Although in a way, I started to feel that way.

"Do you miss me so much that you have to be watching every step I take?" Oops, Shanghai I didn't expect you to be so cute.

"I didn't need to watch you." You see ... - after sighing in a longing scream began to haunt me like an animal waiting to jump for its prey. I felt cornered between his prickly gaze, yet I kept my constants steady and my chin erect. "... men after orgasm become very touchy."

    My gaze stayed embedded somewhere on the scratched floor. I felt bad. I was disappointed. An accumulation of strange sensations began to nest in my chest when I understood his damn answer. I tried to make it so I wouldn't be noticed but I hadn't counted on the Asian woman dropping the bomb because she knew how she was going to react. I knew he had done it to cloud me, to distract me from the real turning point of the conversation. And yet, knowing it consciously, she had let me take me down the path she herself had marked out for me. Was I really going to believe him? Also, Thirteen could do whatever she wanted with her body since it was hers. I didn't have to be mad, then, because my hand was shaking when images of the two of them in a bed began to drill into my head?

“What is it you want?” I dialed an aggressive tone, finding myself having so many turns and swampy phrases.Shanghai left his route and ended up placing himself where he was initially, in front of me with his gaze fixed on mine.

"I want you to avoid the terrible act of having to kill your mother because you weren't strong enough," I whisper reassuringly, imposing checkmate. He had me on the ropes and he knew it. I swallow hard, wrapped in rage that forces me to channel. Then, taking a step towards me, I end up placing his fine mouth on my ear. "Tonight. Where it all started.”                                                                                                                          

                                                                                                                now

"Open your pretty mouth, bitch."

"Come on!"

  Unbearable screams coming through my ears. He kept his eyes closed accentuating the other senses. He felt, his hands flooded with sweat. Cold, clammy knees on the wet floor. I bit back an arcade when one of her hands grabbed my wrists to bring my hands to the elastic of her pants.

"Yes ..." he groaned delightedly. I opened my eyes knowing that I would not like the image I would have to observe. A tear rolled down my cheek on a salty path to my mouth where I savored it. Notice the sweat on his big hands as he covered mine to make them pull his pants down. Observing the string of bushy hairs that ran down her skeletal abdomen was and an unpleasant image. I felt the nice cold in one of my hands when he stopped pressing it. However, the released one went to repair at the beginning of my hair to comb it back, bathing my hair with its filthy sticky fluids. His chilling voice rang out in a happily anticipatory howl. "You're going to eat all of my cock until your jaw drops ...Yes, shit. And then...”

    But the banging of the door swinging open caught his attention. My eyes snapped shut at the scare. I was only aware, when I opened them shortly after, of those dark eyes and that vein in the neck.

next

[callunavulgari]

YEAR-IN-BOOKS | 2020

So. Last year I read 112 books. The year before that I read 89. The year before that I read 39. This year I have (thus far) read 87 books out of my goal of 75 and will likely at least one or two more before the end of the year. So, click below if you want rambly book recs!

1. a book you loved?

This year has been rough. Like, I’m looking back at the books I read in January and am genuinely horrified to realize that I read them a scant twelve months ago when it feels like I read them at least three years ago. I’m glad I kept my limit lower this year, because enjoying anything this year has been harder than usual. I did read some decent books though, and I think the one I loved the most was Gideon the Ninth (and it’s sequel, Harrow the Ninth). They’re both fantastic books, and so deeply unexpected. Reading the first chapter or so of Gideon’s book is like getting whiplash. You go into it expecting angsty lady necromancers and get a crossdressing bee that secretes hallucinogenic substances and pulsates in time to the music in your head. Literally, Gideon’s dialogue is so out of left field that I spent half the book delightedly confused. But it is genuinely funny? And lesbian necromancers in space is just.. such an underutilized concept. Harrow’s book was a little harder - her head space is weird and everything is intentionally fucking with you so you really are confused for 90% of it, but I think the pay off was more than worth it.

2. a book you hated?

I was deeply, DEEPLY disappointed by The Secret Commonwealth. I finished it near the end of January and was just so fucking mad for days. Because the thing is, my expectations were not super high. I was excited for it, mostly because a grown up version of Lyra is something that I thought I would only ever experience in fanfiction. Now, I wish I’d only experienced her in fanfiction. Graphic attempted rape, retroactively confirming a rape happened in a previous book (one where it was implied that the victim got away in time), retroactively raping a character from the previous trilogy... like. I’m sorry. But fuck that noise. Fuck Philip Pullman. Fuck any douchebag asshole who thinks a woman has to be raped in order to write compelling fiction. I was riding the high of the new HBO series (which was good) and I guess I just... thought the author would have some goddamn integrity.

3. a book that made you cry?

We Are Okay was a really gorgeous, tender little book about grief that I read in one sitting in my bed when I really should have been sleeping. I read this book in March, when things only kind of hurt for me. When things were still largely okay. Before the bulk of covid hit my side of the world. Before self-isolation was an every day thing, not just something in books. Before Mal. Before getting covid. But ultimately, this was a book about healing. It aches, yes, but it also soothes.

4. a book that made you happy?

Both Beach Read and Written in the Stars made me pretty happy. Both romcoms done right, the first is a book about a romance writer falling in love with a thriller/mystery writer. They’re staying at neighboring beach houses and spend a summer getting themselves out of their comfort zones by challenging the other to write in the other person’s chosen genre. It’s sweet. It’s sexy. Over all, a really fun read, with enough depths to keep me engaged.

The second book is a meet-cute that involves astrology, fake dating, and lesbians. It’s written phenomenally well, and gave me a brief surge of happiness when I needed it most.

5. the best sequel?

Probably Harrow. The Dragon Republic is a great second choice though. Again, it’s a hard book, and I wouldn’t have been able to read it any later in the year than I did, because it is... not a happy book. But it is, in my opinion, a good one. And I am still excited about the third.

6. most anticipated release for the new year?

I am hoping to get the as of yet Untitled sequel to Ninth House in 2021. I am also hoping to actually be able to read The Rhythms of War in the new year, since I doubt I’ll get a chance in 2020. I’m looking forward to Mister Impossible, the second book in the Ronan trilogy by Maggie Stiefvater. I’m looking forward to the Hourglass Throne, which I think is coming in 2021? A Desolation Called Peace in March. The Thorn of Emberlain might actually be out in October, which will be wonderful it doesn’t get pushed back again. Rule of Wolves, the King of Scars Duology in the Grishaverse will also be March. One Last Stop by Casey McQuistion in May!!!!

7. favorite new author?

Defintely Tamsyn Muir. I will also be keeping an eye out for Alexandriua Bellefleur’s stuff...

8. favorite book to film adaptation?

Uh, can I say MDSZ/The Untamed without actually having read the original text? Well, I’ve read a few chapters, but damn.

9. the most surprising book?

Taproot. It’s this little graphic novel about a gardener who can see ghosts. And like. It still makes me warm to think about how tender it is.

10. the most interesting villain?

Does Loki: Where Mischief Lies count? Since Loki is technically a villain, even if he’s only villain adjacent in this book.

11. the best makeouts?

I... don’t know? I didn’t real read any of these books for makeouts. Not this year. 

12. a book that was super frustrating?

Boyfriend Material. It has great ratings! It has fake dating! But the story was very so-so for me. 

13. a book you texted about, and the text was IN CAPSLOCK?

I think I yelled at Nick a few times about how pissed I was at the Secret Commonwealth.

14. a book for the small children in your life?

The House in the Cerulean Sea is a book about a case worker at the department in charge of magical youth and he is charged with traveling to an island and making a very important decision about the children living there. It was adorable and I wish I’d had a book like it when I was young.

15. a book you learned from?

That is not the sort of book that I was reading in 2020.

16. a book you wouldn’t normally try?

I read a couple mysteries. Some were good. Most made me remember why I don’t read mysteries.

17. a book with something magical in it?

Call Down the Hawk, because all of Maggie’s books are at least a little bit magical. And while this definitely didn’t hit quite the same vibes that the Raven Cycle did, it was still very, very good.

18. the best clothes?

Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth have the best goth aesthetic I have ever seen in a book. Also, The Invisible Life of Addie Larue, because Addie’s clothes always sounded cute and comfortable.

19. the most well-rounded characters?

The City We Became had some fantastic characters. It was really interesting to see Jemisin get out of her typical fantasy setting and this novel was so out of this world. 

20. the best world-building?

Deeplight! It’s described as Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea meets Frankenstein and that is pretty accurate. Old gods that traversed the sea tore each other apart and now the world tries to get a hold of their corpses for amazing powers. It was really, really cool and probably the best book I could have chosen to read at the beach.

21. the worst world-building?

Eh. Most of the books I hated I didn’t keep reading this year.

22. a book with a good sidekick?

I really like all of the characters in the Tarot Sequence. There are some solid characters, even if there’s basically no women. Also Graceling.

23. the most insufferable narrator?

I was not a fan of The Mysterious Benedict Society, mostly because of the narrator. It was so boring and I quit halfway through.

24. a book you were excited to read for months beforehand?

Return of the Thief. Which... was still mostly good. But the ending felt lackluster for me. I may go back and reread the series and see if it feels more genuine after I’ve read them all together.

25. a book you picked up on a whim?

I literally picked up Written in the Stars because the cover was pretty and it looked like the romance was between two girls. And it did nooooot fail me.

26. a book that should be read in a foreign country?

Shrug emoji.

27. a book cassian andor would like?

I still don’t know what to make of this question.

28. a book gina linetti would like?

Shrug emoji.

29. your favorite cover art?

Gideon and Harrow, honestly. I also really liked Under the Udala Trees.

30. a book you read in translation?

I genuinely don’t know.

31. a book from another century?

Teeeeechnically The Great Hunt?

32. a book you reread?

I reread the Diviners and the Captive Prince series near the beginning of the year. They were still delightful.

33. a book you’re dying to talk about, and why?

Into the Drowning Deep was fucking amazing. I love Mira Grant’s work anyway and there’s this scene where a character pilots a submersible into the Marianas Trench and experiences your first face-to-face encounters with the sirens and like. AHHHHHHHHHH. It was so spooky and beautiful and just genuinely amazing.

TLDR; 2020 sucked, most books still couldn’t pierce through the depression, but there were a few bangers.

[vias-words]

Ask Game For Fan Fiction Writers

Thank you @mygeeknessisa-quivering for tagging me!

1. What fandoms do you write for? 

Usually The Cursed Child but I’m starting to write for Julie and the Phantoms too. I used to be a big Marvel writer as well and I have one Miss Peregrine’s fic that I’m really proud of. Had a bunch of other fandoms that I wrote for when I was younger but these would be the main ones. 

2. What parings do you write for? 

Scorbus!! Then I used to write Stucky and Clintasha when I did Marvel fics

3. What is your most popular fanfic? 

Albus Potter and the Cursed Legacy on AO3 but my most popular of all time was a Stucky fic on Wattpad called Coming Back Home 

4. Do you write original stories as well? 

Yes! But none are published

5. What is a fandom you will never write for? 

Probably just ones that I’m not interested in or don’t know that much about. 

6. Which platform do you prefer? 

AO3 for sure

7. What are your favorite fanfics? 

There are so many amazing fics that I forgot to save but here are some of my favorites that I have book marked

Scorbus: Blood, Ice, Water ; Paper Dragons ; Beneath the Wisteria 

General Harry Potter: A Future Beyond 17

Jeddy/Scorbus: King and Lionheart

JATP: The Ghosts of My Past

8. How do you stay motivated to finish what you’ve started? 

Definitely getting feedback helps. And just staying invested in the story. I take breaks when needed so I don’t burn out. 

9. What’s your longest fanfic? 

Albus Potter and the Cursed legacy is almost 200,000 words which is absolutely insane to me but I love it dearly

10. Do you use sentence starters, writing prompts and/or fandom headcanons for your fanfics? 

Sometimes! Usually just for shorter fics. But I incorporate fandom headcanons into longer fics as well. Basically my fics are based on fanon most of the time anyway

11. Do you use/follow advice from writing blogs/posts? 

Sometimes!

12. What’s your shortest fanfic? 

Borderline is just under 4,000 words

13. Do you listen to music during your writing process? 

Yes, it helps me focus. I like atmospheric music to match the story. There’s a lot of great youtube videos for that but also instrumentals and movie scores on spotify are great.

14. What is your favorite writing prompt? 

Can’t say I have one

15. Can we get a list of all of your current available fanfics? 

Here is a link to my AO3! I have some reaaaallly old ones on Wattpad too if you want to see how 13-15 y.o. me wrote haha the user is via_words

16. Long chapters or short chapters?

Long. I notoriously write a lot.

17. How many WIPs (work-in-progress) do you’ve got? 

Too many...I’d say a solid 8 but a lot of started fic ideas that never took off

18. Do you take requests? 

I’m open to hearing them but I usually struggle to write someone else’s ideas 

19. What’s more difficult? Fanfics or original work? 

Original work for sure, which is very frustrating to me. I’ve written a novel length fic before I can even get halfway through an original. I think I just know fic characters and the world a whole lot better and I know my audience will too, so there’s not stress about making sure everything is clear.

20. How did you find the magical world of fanfics?

I can’t even remember. I think I got on Wattpad through word of mouth when I was 12 but didn’t start posting until I was like 13 or 14.

21. Do you partake in any fanfic/writing events? 

I try to! 

22. Does fanart of your fanfic exist? 

Yes!! Which is AMAZING! I’ve got a small folder of drawings people have made inspired by or for my fic. I even got a video edit and vine comp once which I could not stop watching and smiling. It’s honestly so incredible that people have done that for something I wrote and I’m so thankful.

23. Do fanfics of your fanfic exist? 

No I didn’t even realize that could be a thing. I’d say if you’re using someone’s OC’s or ideas, do be sure to ask them first.

24. What is your favorite sentence that you’ve used in a fanfic? 

Oh gosh this is hard. One that’s always stood out to my is this line from Draco in chapter 18 of the Cursed Legacy

"Do you really think I wanted to be evil? That I set out to achieve that goal? No, that was never my reasoning to join the Deatheaters. No, mainly I wanted to fit in--to be a part of something greater. And to a naive boy who faced nothing but pressure from his parents to conform to their ideals, this," He forced up the left sleeve of his cloak to reveal the faded scar of where his dark mark once branded him, "seemed like that answer.”

25. Where do you draw inspiration from? 

A lot of music or photos/art. Whatever get’s me in the right mood to delve deeper into these characters. 

26. Can we get a teaser for an upcoming chapter? 

Here’s the one I used in a recent ask game for the next chapter of the Cursed Legacy!

"I think we're all a little afraid of the unknown. But that's what makes life exciting, right?"

James eyed Albus up and down, "Who are you and where's the pessimistic Albus I know?"

Albus gave his brother a small shove but cracked a smile, "You're a git."

No tags for this one since I would probably end tagging people how have already been tagged. But feel free to do this as well if you want to and consider yourself tagged by me :)

[worddevdealswithml]

Failed Step 1 (And 2 (And 3))

Chapter 26: Day of the Tournament, (part 2): A Hurricane in Human Form

Chloe pulled back, but too late.

“You.”

Chloe tried to make a snap judgement on whether to step out or not, but before she had a chance to decide, Kagami was already on her feet, and Chloe felt like something much bigger than a teenage girl was bearing down on her as Kagami rounded the corner.

“Fight me.”

Chloe, standing up on the balcony, was proud of herself. Normally, she would just have put pen to paper and written whatever came to mind, but this time…  This time, she had a feeling that she might get better results with a bit of thinking.  Besides, she needed to think if she was going to… fight back on the terms Kagami had set.

It was a bit shorter than usual, of course, but-

There was a flash of red, and hey eyes snapped to Kagami, stepping out of her locker room.

Chloe smiled easily down, in the vain hope that Kagami might look up, but…

No such luck…

Chloe felt a twinge of unease at that.  What she’d written…  It should have infuriated Kagami beyond the point of thinking.  It should have…

--

Kagami’s blade jabbed, slashed, parried against nonexistent attacks, but her mind was elsewhere.

‘Dearest Kagami,’

She kept her eyes resolutely focused forward.

Lunge, retreat, parry, counter, easy.

Chloe had to have done it on purpose.  She’d somehow realized how badly the rumors had affected her, and decided to rub salt in the wounds.

‘I know why you’d call me a nuisance.  Frankly, it’s obvious.’

The first match was called, and, Kagami lined up against someone she wouldn’t have recognized at the best of times.

She barely needed to pay attention, and she barely did. She always started against the lowest scored fencer, and at this point, she’d gotten used to the first few matches being practically pointless.

15 points flew by, and she barely had to put in a moment’s thought to avoid being hit.

How many matches would this take?

‘You’re just as prideful as you think I am…’

The second match began, and Kagami knew that her technique was sloppy, and violent.  Against a proper opponent, it wouldn’t stand.

If her mother fought her like this…

She would have shivered, had she not been too busy taking her second victory.

13 points.  14. 15.  Done.

Why did these matches end so quickly?  As she stepped out of the ring, she felt the thoughts welling up inside her, as if she was about to vomit.

‘…you can’t stand the idea that you’ve finally met someone who won’t roll over when you show off your fencing.’

Her hand clenched around the hilt of her foil, as she resisted the urge to look around for Chloe.  She wasn’t fighting for Chloe.  She was fighting because she was Kagami Tsurugi.

The third match began, and, if she was right, this had to be halfway through.  She was almost halfway through.

She jabbed, and her opponent caught it, returned-

She was almost surprised, managing another block and return before-

There was a jab in her stomach, and…

0-1.

Adrien.  This was Adrien.

She reset herself, and tried to focus, as-

He advanced, and her mind blurred as, for a second, the words in the letter went quiet.

Adrien required her whole attention.  He was good.

She could feel the words in her head, muffled, but still there, itching to be heard.

0-2

2-2

4-3

8-5

9-7

Time ran out.

Breathing hard, she lightly tapped Adrien’s blade with her own.

He nodded, as they left the matt.

“I’ll try to meet you in the finals.”

“I’ll be there.”

She took a deep breath, letting the tension drop from her shoulders before she had to face down more trouble.

--

Chloe stared where the match had been.

She’d…  She’d seen Kagami fight before, but…  She hadn’t seen her fight someone near her level.

She had to assume it was Adrien she’d been up against, and…

Chloe shivered, suddenly feeling the chill in the air.

She’d said before that she wanted to push Kagami to her limits, but now she knew how far she was from it.

But…  The image appeared in Chloe’s head; Kagami striking her down with all she had, and Chloe returning every bit of it.

The thought was… intoxicating.  Chloe shuddered, gripping the rail for support as her knees considered the possibility of giving out underneath her.

She wanted to try.

She wanted Kagami to fight her like that.  She wanted to fight what had looked like a storm in human form, and she wanted to win.

--

‘You hate the fact that I saw what you could do, and I was confident enough to say that I could do it.’

The fourth and fifth match passed in a blur

As her sixth match began, Kagami felt that even as she’d tightened her grip on her mind, it was still slipping away again.

Her enemies were better than before, now, and she was conceding points that she shouldn’t be.  Not to say that she was losing.  But… She wasn’t winning as well as she should have been, and that thought…

She’d been right.  The letter had been designed to distract her.

She didn’t like losing easy points.  She didn’t like being blatantly insulted.

Most of all, and the thought came with a metaphorical hand wrapped around the neck of the voice in her head, she didn’t like Chloe.

‘You hate it even more that I was proving it to you, week after week.’

Adrien again.

Kagami had always considered swearing to be beneath her, and a sign of an uncontrolled tongue and an uncontrolled mind, but right now, she understood the impulse.

She tried, with all the training she’d ever had, to pull her mind back into a functional shape…

1-0

1-1

2-4

5-4

5-6

…

5-9

Kagami didn’t feel like there was much of her mind left at this point, as Adrien tapped his blade against hers.

Double elimination.

One more round against Adrien, for the victory.

A minute passed, and then two, as the round was reset, and Kagami desperately tried to recover her mind…

And then…

‘You should never write a letter when you’re angry, my dear Kagami.  You’re not even a challenge when you do.’

Her mind caught, somewhere between fury and control.

She couldn’t lose now.

She couldn’t lose now.

Chloe was watching, and she’d be damned if she let Chloe watch her lose.

She stood up.

Now, Adrien.  

He nodded, matching her.

They took their places, and…

--

Staring at the previous match, Chloe had known that something was off, and, in all honestly, she’d been… disappointed.

This time, though…

Something was different.

2-0

Kagami took the first two rounds as if it was nothing, and Chloe got the impression that Adrien had been surprised by her sudden return.

3-1

Adrien finally managed to rally, and after a pair of hotly contended fights, managed to get on the board.

5-2

Still, despite his best efforts, Adrien was struggling to-

5-4

Chloe could only stare, hoping that if nothing else, she might be able to burn the image of what she was seeing into her head.

6-6

At 2 minutes, they were tied, and Chloe’s heart was beating as if she was the one in the fight.

7-8

9-9

Time was running down.  There was a tie that ate up several seconds.

Only a few seconds left, and-

10-9.

“Hah!”

Chloe’s cheer was lost in the applause of the crowd, a fact that she was instantly, viscerally glad for, as she realized that…

She’d forgotten who she was watching.

She immediately brought herself back to a much more reserved position and composed her expression to something that gave away less… excitement.

Down on the lower level, she knew for a fact that as Kagami took the medal, the twitch of her helmet had been perfect to let her look up at Chloe.

Chloe shrugged, as if she was unimpressed, even as internally, her stomach had been turned to jelly by what she’d just seen.

She stood there, careful not to move, as the matts they’d put out to fence on were efficiently and methodically cleaned up, and the crowd of people families of the fencers, mostly, dispersed.

…

Minutes passed, and the room rapidly grew quieter. Chloe, of course, had stood there so that…

So that what, exactly?  She didn’t have another letter to give Kagami.

She didn’t have anything to do with Kagami; she’d won, and Chloe had no intent of congratulating her for that.

She could say something to Adrien, of course, but his bodyguard had almost immediately scooped him up to take him home.

And then…

The courtyard had gone quiet, and Chloe…

“Hm.”

She stepped lightly down the stairs.

Kagami hadn’t left the locker room.

As Chloe walked across the open space, she wondered, almost idly, whether Kagami had somehow gotten Akumatized over something.  That wouldn’t make sense, of course, since she’d won, but, knowing Kagami, maybe she hadn’t won by enough.

She stepped up to the door, and… listened.

Maybe… Something inside?

She pushed her way in.

The room was quiet, but, at the edge of hearing…

Muttering.

Careful not to make a sound, Chloe stepped closer.

It was definitely Kagami’s voice.

“If I hadn’t…  No, but…”  she groaned, softly, “I shouldn’t have—” she made an aggravated noise.  “It doesn’t matter what I did.  None of it matters, as long as I…  None of it…” she let out an uneasy breath. “But I don’t care.  I don’t…”  There was a metallic rattle as if she’d just knocked a fist on one of the lockers.  “I don’t care!”

Chloe, unable to resist, craned her neck to look around the lockers.

Kagami was back in her normal clothes again, but her hair was disheveled, and her expression was… angry.

“I don’t…”

Chloe pulled back, but too late.

“You.”

Chloe tried to make a snap judgement on whether to step out or not, but before she had a chance to decide, Kagami was already on her feet, and Chloe felt like something much bigger than a teenage girl was bearing down on her as Kagami rounded the corner.

“Fight me.”

Chloe blinked, barely managing to keep her expression neutral.

“Wh- What?”

“You heard me the first time,” said Kagami, now advancing.

Chloe, suddenly forced to back away by the bright point, tried to muster some semblance of her normal personality.

“Yeah?  Wh- What happened to me being ‘beneath you,’” she said, almost tripping over one of the benches.

Her back rammed into the wall, and Kagami slowed her advance, only stopping entirely when the point of her foil was almost at Chloe’s neck.

“I…” and Kagami swallowed, her breathing more ragged than Chloe would have expected.  “I don’t care.”

Chloe’s eyes seemed dragged back down to the foil in Kagami’s hands.

“Or…  Or what? What if I say no?”

The blade pressed lightly against the underside of her chin, and, with a sharp inhale, she looked up.

Kagami was gazing directly into her eyes, and her face…

Chloe didn’t know what that expression was.  There was anger, yes, but not as much as her voice would suggest…  Fear…  and… Chloe could have sworn she was about to cry.

“If…”  Kagami blinked, heavily, and Chloe pulled back further, and not out of fear of the blade. She… She really was almost crying.  “If you don’t fight me…  I’ll… I’ll do something I’ll regret.”

“Well…” said Chloe, the fear dying away in her chest, only to be replaced by the same sickened excitement she’d felt watching Kagami fight before, “it looks like you’ve got me at a disadvantage.  It wouldn’t be a fair fight.”

Kagami let out a shuddering breath that could have been a laugh, and the blade dropped, from Chloe’s neck.

“Obviously.  You don’t have your gear.”

So.  She’d meant fencing.  Definitely fencing.  Not… Murder.

“So…  When? Where?”

Kagami’s expression twisted, in a way that a sufficiently astute viewer might have picked out as being the fear that precedes a risky request.

“The same time as before?  The same place?”

It was a question.

Kagami was… inviting her.

“Huh,” said Chloe, barely more than an incredulous breath.

She waited, a bit longer than she needed to.

“So you really just want to lose, then,” she said, and mustering every ounce of her trademark confidence she could find, which still wasn’t as much as she usually had.  “Well. I’ll be happy to pull you a bit closer to defeat.”

Kagami pulled in a long, barely-shaky breath, and when she looked up again, she was almost normal, except… No.  She couldn’t have been smiling.

“I’ll be waiting.”

[magistralucis]

May I ask questions 1 / 2 / 5 / 6 / 9 / 11 / 13 / 14 / 15 for Silence please? If it's okay with you 💖

This is many and a lot and I am super happy to answer it all.Answers under cut. I hope they are satisfying 💖💖💖💖💖

-----------------

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

I’ve talked about this a few times, I think, but only in bits and pieces. It wasn’t the kind of thing I was comfortable talking about while I was active within the R+ fandom, certainly, because the inspiration material for this fic was produced not long before I wrote Silence. But the tl;dr is that there’s a fic on AFF.net, Aus Stein Sein by AnonGrimm, which plunged me straight into Tillchard fandom territory. (I don’t know how much modern R+ fanfic readers know about this fic, but it was my greatest inspiration.) It is an excellently written story, albeit with some serious limitations of the time - there’s a lot of Caron bashing in it, which was par the course in R+ fic back when AnonGrimm was writing, but which made me raise eyebrows when I kept mulling over the story.

So I wanted to aim high. I’d never written a narrative quite as long as Aus Stein Sein back then, but I wanted to revisit AnonGrimm’s tale and produce something that centered strictly around the band members. No spouse bashing or unnecessarily bringing the bandmates’ kids into it. (All these things are common sense in fic etiquette now, but back then it really wasn’t…) Aus Stein Sein is also very sexually charged; I wondered whether I could pull off a captivating narrative without the explicit parts, whether I could keep it to the level of unrequited sexual tension without making things boring or trite. There also exists a major visual inspiration of Silence, but I’ll leave that to the next question, as it’s relevant there.

All of the above, I thought would be easier than it actually was. That was honestly the greatest motivating factor, if not necessarily the inspiration. You see, I genuinely thought I could finish Silence in about four chapters when I first started… then the chapters got longer and the difficulty level skyrocketed, but by then I was over halfway into the story, and that kept me going strong until the end. 😂

2: What scene did you first put down?

Around the same time, I discovered a fanart by NightCatty that immediately pointed me in the direction I should take the fic. This was before I’d done any research on Till’s stint as basket-weaver, or known that Werner Lindemann had written about Till’s life up to that point, or even had a copy of Mix Mir Einen Drink to refer to. Hell, I didn’t know German at that point. I’d begun taking classes like… two weeks before I started Silence? That’s barely anything. But NightCatty painted the Tillchard moment that has lingered most powerfully in my mind to this date, and I knew that was where my story had to begin. That one piece of art inspired the scene in the first chapter where Richard talks Till into participating in R+, and it was indeed the first scene of Silence I ever put down. I don’t tend to write chronologically.

5: What part was hardest to write?

I think the entirety of Chapter 4.

Till and Richard conflict in three major ways during Silence: first Till resists being part of Rammstein, then Richard resists being locked down to Rammstein (by forming Emigrate), and finally their showdown over Till’s mutism, as well as the words left unsaid between so many years. These conflicts increase in severity - the first one is talked out in a simple conversation, whereas the last one encompasses multiple chapters and an extremely high-tension sequence. I don’t think, however, that the Emigrate conflict was very convincing. I made it a little too long and too uncharacteristic for Till. And fundamentally, the arguments made against Richard’s stance just… aren’t that well argued in the first place, if you know what I mean? That was my attempt to write in a ‘conflict adjacent to, but without involving Caron’ moment, and while I did stumble through the chapter, I really hit the ceiling of my writing skills at the time.

Honestly? If I could write it again, I’d cut the entirety of the Till vs. Richard argument in Chapter 4. It should have been conveyed as a tense conversation about priorities, not a full-on shouting match. Till would have worked perfectly well remaining as the grim, mournful brick wall he was initially portrayed as at the start of the chapter. Some of the things said in that argument are still valid, but none of the shouting was necessary; it’s really Flake who saves that sequence, I do think I should keep Flake the way he was in that chapter.

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

It was my first attempt at an RPF, bandom fic, and a long novel-length narrative all at once. I’m astounded it turned out as well as it did. Frankly speaking, if not for Silence I’d still be writing crackfics in FF.net in various game fandoms. Not that I was unhappy doing that, but Silence gave me a massive boost in writing skills which I am still benefiting from.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Not from me. There are scattered oneshots filling in very minor details about Silence, as well as Vision im Spiegel (sequel), but no alternate versions. It is what it is.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

The fact people enjoy it to this date. Not long from now and we’ll be coming up to its tenth anniversary. It seems to have become one of the classics of R+ fic and I am very proud and honoured to have contributed to that pile.

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

Silence is partially a songfic, as you know, as well as literary analysis of those songs 😍 The songs I worked in the fabric of the story were the songs I listened to as I wrote that scene or chapter. Ideally readers would follow along with each song that popped up.

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

Silence was written before my didactic philosophical fanfiction period (sincere apologies to Daft Punk fans who got the brunt of that output lkjaghjdhgashsjs), so I’m quite relieved to say there was no intended lessons. Only a narrative about two men in love. I mean, there were pieces of literary analyses and research I’ve done of the time that I hope people thought interesting, but they were attention to detail rather than the thing I wanted people to focus on. Silence is what you make of it.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

All of the above. I do have to say I didn’t immediately become a better writer for having written Silence, but it opened me up to massive amounts of experimentation in writing that I’d never tried before. Those were what made me the writer I am now, but I’ve never forgotten that Silence was where it began 💖

[johnlockficclub]

Discussion Recap - Author Q&A!

Well, JFC crew, we’ve reached the end of another fabulous fic! Thank you so much to everyone who read along and participated in the weekly discussions - you all are the best.

And of course, a huge thank you to @swissmissing for writing The Baker Street Nativity in the first place and for coming along to our Author Q&A to share some insight into her writing process and background to this fic. Questions and answers are below the cut as this got quite long!

And finally, thanks once again to @frodosweetstuff for allowing us to use her artwork for these update posts!

Happy holidays everyone - may you and your loved ones be safe and happy this festive season! xx

1: Why this AU? What got you started on it? @ewebie 

 I saw the movie and with MF in it, of course I immediately started thinking of how it could be a Johnlock AU.  I do that frequently anyway: imagine Johnlock versions of stuff. I just watched a few Netflix Xmas movies recently and I am still thinking of how to turn them into Johnlock AU's. I see the world through Johnlock-coloured glasses. Is that healthy or normal? IDK.

2. Would you ever consider publishing your fanfic? @norburylibrary 

No. First off, the story is obviously cadged from a copyrighted screenplay. To publish it for real, as an original work, I'd have to scrub the names and characters so that they don't interfere with BBC copyright. That part should be feasible, but the story itself is too close to the Nativity screenplay. As for any of my other fics, the non-fusion ones, I don't think I've written anything that could stand on its own without the Sherlock association. One of the huge assets of fan fiction is there is a built-in character background and setting. I'm not up to rewriting to the extent of creating something that could be published as an original work.

3.  What do you enjoy writing most, humor or angst and why? @elwinglyre

I can do both, but I guess I'm more drawn to angst. I think humor is harder to pull off, for me at least. I'm not a naturally funny person. I have to think hard to come up with funny situations and lines. Confession: In some of my fics, there are certain punch lines that were actually written by my beta readers. I think Sherlock and John - in fact all of the Sherlock BBc universe - lends itself more naturally to angst anyway. although there are humorour parts in the eps, I find them more geared towards angst.

4.  Was it confusing at all having seen the movie to then switch the roles?  When writing it. @sherlock-nanowrimo

Yes, totally confusing at first! I started out with the "natural" roles, with John as the teacher and Sherlock as the assistant, but it wasn't working for me so somehow I just got the idea to try it the other way round. Once I started down that path though, it wasn't confusing for me. I was worried throughout that it would be confusing for readers. But everyone who commented and said they had seen the movie, also said the switch wasn't hard for them to deal with.

5.  When you write is it because you get a fic idea or for some other reason? Like stress reliever or for doing something fun? @tildathings 

Good question. I always want to write. I get a great feeling of satisfaction when I write something. Especially when I finish a piece. It's a big shot of dopamine for me. It carries me for a long time, sometimes days. BUT I can't force myself to write. I tried that one year with nanowrimo and it was not a good thing. So I can really only write when "the muse" grabs me. When I get an idea that sticks with me for days and weeks. And with this fic, it really came alive and almost wrote itself, once I was on the right track.

6. How much do you base your writing on the show and how much on your headcanon? @travelingwithoutthedoctor 

This is a problem too, as I haven't gone back and watched the episodes in a really long time. Many of the eps I only saw once in the first place. I have the feeling that the fandom circles you travel in tend to create a fancanon that pretty much replaces the actual canon. So that's something I struggle with. I actually try when I write to imagine and hear the TV characters speaking and acting things out, in the hopes that it makes it closer to how they might actually be in those situations. I suppose that's unavoidable. I'm sure I do have an image of the characters in my mind, and I write from that. I just hope they are pretty aligned with the original characters from the show.

7.  I thought you did an incredible job making Sherlock a teacher for young children credible. That wasn't something we'd think of Sherlock doing, and you made it work. What did you take into consideration when doing this? @elwinglyre

Woo boy, that's a thing! He is so completely unsuited for this position. I had to justify him being in that position, however, so I kind of hand-waved something. Honestly, it wasn't my priority. I was just trying to create Johnlock moments. I mean, I think he's actually quite good with children. We've seen that on the show with Archie. I think it would depend on the kids.

8.  I’m curious about the speed of writing. How quickly do you get a chapter done? @vitruvianwatson

Once I get going, I can usually do about a chapter a week. My chapters tend to be 2-5K. 

9.  The UST, miscommunication and angst of this fic was deliciously frustrating, and a lot of us were yelling at them to just sort themselves out. If that was the hardest part about reading it, I'm wondering about what was difficult to write in this fic?  Were there certain sections or characters that you found challenging? @lediona25

I was honestly following the pacing of the movie, pretty much. I did need to add some scenes. I tried to pace it so that there was a romantic bit about at the halfway point, and another one for the big payoff at the end. One challenging bit was the dog. I wasn't sure whether to include him, but once I did, I kept forgetting about him. I kept having to go back and remember where the dog was and who was taking care of him. I don't have a dog so I was just doing what I've seen other people doing with their dogs. They leave them tied up outside of shops and restaurants all the time so I figured it was okay. Again, it wasn't really a priority. A lot of people commented that they liked the dog in there though, so I'm glad I left him in.

10. It was perfect casting!  We were talking about it during the movie - like with Greg as the headmistress. @sherlock-nanowrimo

That's one of the best parts of doing a fusion, for me anyway, is the casting.  I love discovering how characters map onto each other. Sometimes it's astonishing.  I HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH JIM!!  I didn't want to make him actually evil or a real threat. It always gives me massive anxiety when Moriarty shows up in a fic because often truly awful things happen then. But I wanted to keep this in line with it being a kids' movie. And to be fair, I didn't really need to change all that much from the movie bad guy anyway. That nativity play he put on was insane! And I actually was just teaching one of my classes last year about universal story plots such as the hero's journey.  (Yes, I'm an English teacher.) 11.  One of your ficlets suggests some pretty unpleasant stuff re: Jim's backstory. @bluebellofbakerstreet

Jim's backstory. I kind of imagined he and Sherlock had been rivals at the conservatory and Jim had tried to derail Sherlock with drugs. Perhaps somewhat successfully.

12.  What the hell is the story with Sherlock and whatever he did to Seb Wilkes?! @ewebie

I don't know either! LOL that is actually something I like doing in fics because, again, I like it when fics do that: hint at something but not elaborate and leave it up to you to decide what was actually going on.  I guess maybe that's frustrating to some people but for me, it gives fics depth and realism.  It's like in some fics where you just hear about a case in passing but the details are never fleshed out. I was using it to show that Sherlock had made poor decisions with kids in the past, so this thing he did with taking the kids to the studio wasn't out of character.

13. John... as a classroom assistant. How did you see him ending up there? Our conclusion was that... lost people just sometimes end up places @ewebie

I don't recall if it's explained in the fic or not, but I actually had something in mind for that. He was invalided out of the army and bumming around with nothing to do, feeling useless. His good friend Mike, who was also a teacher, recommended him to Greg as a classroom assistant. No idea if that would be allowed in the UK but here in Switzerland it's frequently done. Usually a retired person will be brought in as a classroom assistant. This keeps them active and engaged, and is a big help to the teachers.

14.  We loved the whole scene with Moriarty at the end when Mycroft pops out and saves the day.  You did a bang-up job with that.  When you're finishing a story, are you one those "I've planned it all out" writers or stream of consciousness writers. Let's go with the flow? @elwinglyre

In this case, the ending was written for me. I just followed the plot of the movie. Usually, though, I do have the ending in mind from the start. It's usually pretty much a sex scene, lol. The whole point of the fic is usually, how do I get these two together? 

15.  Oh! The sex! Is that easy for you to write. I have the hardest time with that. Is something your really get into? @elwinglyre 

True story (which I also told on one of my guest slots on the TPP): I didn't use to be able to write sex scenes. But I wanted to. So I literally would copy sex scenes from fics I liked. Just like, typing them out word for word. This got me used to writing those words and those acts on my screen. Then I tried writing my own. I think I sort of have a reputation for writing awkward-realistic sex scenes. I'm not aiming for that, it's just how they come out. It's a mix of, again, imagining how the characters would appear and act and speak in those situations, and also I guess how I would feel and want things to be.

16. We have a lot of people in this group who are just starting out writing fic or are thinking about writing something, do you have any advice to new writers? @lediona25

I'll just say what we started out talking about: Write for yourself. Write what you want to read. You will always have an appreciative audience. I see so many writers get discouraged because they don't have massive hits and kudos, and they just give up. I think most of the popular writers in fandom have been around for years. This may be their third or fourth fandom. They've been writing in real life. Experience takes a long time to build up.So write for yourself. The rest will come. And... at the moment, it feels a bit like there's less readers than 2 years ago, so really really don't be discouraged.

Thanks to all those who asked questions and to @swissmissing for her thoughtful answers! :)

[dorkyungsoowrites]

Spontaneous Attraction Ch. 21

Pairings: Kyungsoo x You

Genre: Fluff/Angst/Smut | Ambiguous AU

Warnings: None

Word Count: 5.6k

Description: Kyungsoo surprises you.

A/N: The song I was thinking of when writing near the end of this chapter was this one if you're interested. It's a really beautiful piece, but you can imagine your own favorite if you wish.

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A concert hall when there's no concerts planned is rather surreal. The large theater-like auditorium was eerily quiet, and you only turned on a few of the backstage lights so you could see. It cast long shadows through the narrow hallways, each of your footsteps echoing. You went into a green room of sorts where there was an old sofa and a storage of chairs. The tall stacks took up half the room. Not normally one to get mad or jealous left you feeling overwhelmed. You didn't have much experience dealing with it so it continued to make you itchy and restless. You paced. How can one human live with being so vile? Her only good qualities seemed to be how cute she looked and her cooking. She was a liar, and unfaithful, and manipulative, and shallow, and so plastic Barbie would gawk. Her whole attitude soured your afternoon. Just thinking about her nasally, fake sing-song voice grated your nerves. You don't think you've ever hated someone as much as you did her. She encompassed every quality you despised in a person. It was almost impressive.

The anger still tangled. Driving had helped, but thinking about it brought it all back again with a new force. You jerked down one of the stacks in the room, a dozen or so metal and plastic chairs clattering to the ground in a cacophony of screeches and bangs that hurt your ears. You can't recall ever raising your hand to anyone like that before. How could Kyungsoo ever like a monster like that? How could he have been so blind to how horrible she was? How could he not feel the urge to puke every time she crossed his mind? How could he not do anything about it but say she wasn't worth his time? Were you any better for stooping down to her level by calling her names and almost slapping her? Your lungs constricted, heart galloping to gain speed. You collapsed on to the sofa, the springs protesting, and let your tears fall hot on your face.

How could he let her touch him like that? Speak like that? Who even says shit like that like you're not even there? You allowed yourself to think about why that hurt so much. The way he looked at her was familiar to how he looked at you sometimes. Your fists curled in on themselves. At some point he had fucked her. He fucked that villain of a woman. Those same sweet, plump lips had wandered her skin. She had heard his little breathless moans and sweet whispers. She had felt his dick inside her. Before you. He had touched her in ways you didn't know; free of apprehension and caution. Not chained by his trust issues or worries. Lingering, sweeping caresses filled with undeniable affection. Ways you could only dream about. She still had her claws in him. Your chest got tighter, unable to keep your breathing even. You were having trouble keeping your thoughts rational. Didn't you matter enough to him? Weren't you enough? Your heart was compressed painfully. You couldn't stop from wondering if he had ever thought about her with you. Was he watching for warning signs that you were similar? Did he actively avoid holding you in the same way he had with her? Would you never know what it was like to be truly, deeply loved by Kyungsoo? It made you sick to think you might share any qualities with that snake. Your stomach churned, and a pit swallowed your insides. Your gut was hollow. Like someone had reached in and licked them clean. Tears rolled down your cheeks. This was fifty times worse then when Chanyeol had sex with you drunk in high school. You felt violated somehow. You were empty. Alone. An uneasiness cocooned you in your own isolated corner of the universe sat there on that old sofa in a dark concert theater.

An electronic ringing startled you. It was your phone. Correction: it was Kyungsoo trying to call your phone. You tapped the red button. You needed time to cool down. The conclusion smacked in to you like a train. This is how Chanyeol felt watching Kyungsoo be with you. Knowing you were touching Kyungsoo like you used to hold him. This is how Kyungsoo felt when Chanyeol or the others got too close. Afraid another person would know what it was like to be loved by you and siphon it away from him. To a lesser degree you imagined, but the jealousy seeped through your veins and corroded your heart like acid. Just when he was putting more faith in you you go and act like some over-reactive lunatic. You were disappointed in yourself for lashing out immaturely. You should be better than this, but when he licked his lips as she leaned closer your brain flooded with the fear that he would kiss her. Your unwavering trust in him suddenly grew a grain of doubt. If you hadn't jumped in would he have kissed her? The majority of you wanted to believe he had enough sense not to hurt you the same way he had been hurt. He wasn't a hypocrite, but there was always that nagging voice in the back of your mind. It pointed out that for the first three months you were together he had no problem lying to you about his job. It was different, but also not. The way he got trapped in a trance with her around...you couldn't say he would never hurt you with complete certainty anymore. That fact is what you resented the most out of this situation.

After a couple of hours you drove back to your apartment. You had calmed down and cleaned up the chairs then strolled around the empty building trying to clear your head. Kyungsoo had called five more times before giving up. You weren't sure what you would say to him, but you knew you were drained and wanted to sleep. It was a long fucking day.

Only when you got to your front door Kyungsoo was sitting on the floor slumped against it. He was blocking the way. When you ran off your roommate should have been there. She was gone when you returned, but that would mean he specifically denied waiting inside so you couldn't avoid him. He had been sitting there for hours. A pang of guilt hit you. When you stepped closer he looked up and sighed in relief. He pushed himself to his feet. You noticed how red and puffy his eyes were, dark circles sitting underneath from where he hadn't caught up on his sleep.

"You should be resting," you couldn't help but say. "You look exhausted. Health comes first, Soo." He side-stepped to allow you to unlock the door and followed you inside. Once he re-locked the door he realized you were already halfway across the room. He hurridly threw off his shoes and ran after you, catching your shoulder before you could leave the living area. He didn't try to turn you around, voice small and afraid.

"Please don't leave." When you didn't move he continued. "You have every right to be upset with me. I don't know what came over me. I couldn't move. Please believe me." His voice cracked on the last words and you swallowed the sudden lump in your throat. His second hand rested on your other shoulder and stepped closer. You felt the heat radiating off his body. Kyungsoo dropped his forehead next to his left hand. His tone lowered to a whisper to hide his straining voice. "She means nothing to me. I can't lose you. I'm so sorry. I never...I swear--"

"It's not like I'm in the clear either," you replied solemnly. "I shouldn't have blown up like that. When she touched you and talked to you like that...I just got so jealous."

"No, no," Kyungsoo consoled instantly. His hands massaged slowly over your shoulders down your arms while he spoke. "I've never seen anyone stand up to her like that before. I couldn't believe it. It was amazing."

"Amazing?" you repeated gently. "I almost hit someone, Soo. I've never been that angry before. I hated it." He placed a lazy kiss to the side of your throat. Flashes of him kissing her came behind your eyelids. The same lips her fingers had grazed hours before. The same pair he parted for those fingers. You resisted recoiling from the touch. It didn't work. You didn't dare look back in fear of his reaction.

"You were defending me. Protecting me. I was in awe, jagiya." His fingers slipped to your waist. "That's all you've ever done, isn't it? You've given so much of yourself and your time to take care of me. You're far more generous than I deserve. I don't know what I'd be like if I never met you. I don't think I'd like that Kyungsoo. You've done so much for me. I owe you everything." His shoulders shook once, choking back a sob. Remorse covered his next words. It steadied the frantic swirling of emotions that had built up in your chest so you could sort them out. It meant you could help, and that's something you enjoyed. Helping others be happy. "I'm a terrible boyfriend. I should be stronger for you. I shouldn't have to rely on you for everything."

"You know, I kinda like taking care of you," you reminded him gently. "I really haven't done all that much. You're the one who's stayed strong. I like it when you can rely on me for a few things." His lips returned to your neck, mouthing against the sensitive skin. You tensed, but didn't flinch away that time.

"Stop. You're comforting me again and that's not the point."

"What do you want me to say? I don't understand why you're upset with yourself."

"Because it's you," he answered. It was like he was pleading with you. He needed you to understand. Acting like he was more worried of your reaction than the actual issue. Didn't he know you weren't going to yell or send him away? You blamed the snake for this. She had severely messed with his head. Kyungsoo should realize you were more empathetic and less petty than that. "It's you and you're wonderful and I just sat there. I can't even listen to myself. How am I supposed to expect you to not get too close with the other members if I can't even tell one woman to stop? I might as well have fucked her on the table." Something wet splattered on your skin. It trickled down and soaked in to the collar of your shirt. "I've tried for so long, but I'm never going to deserve you. Oh god, and now you're going to leave because I was an idiot." You whirled around to face him at that. Your arms embraced him. He hid his face in the crook of your neck, hands on your back.

"That was the stupidest thing I've heard you say. I'm not leaving, Kyungsoo," you told him in a low soothing voice. "Don't you ever think that." You weaved a hand through his short hair. His heat and firmness combined as he leaned against you and you felt his small puffs of air at your ear, sending goosebumps all over your skin. He touched every surface of your body he could in the position. You shoved down the image of him holding the other woman like this. He was trembling.

"I'm sorry," he repeated guiltily. "I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you."

"Calm down, sweetheart," you cooed lovingly. More wetness hit your skin. You started lowering, legs tired and unwilling to move. He followed you to the ground, sitting on your haunches. Kyungsoo let himself collapse into you, limp in your arms. A sob cracked his voice, sniffling. You carded your fingers through his hair, other hand running up and down his back. "I'm right here, Kyungsoo. I'm not letting go."

"Why not?" he rasped defeatedly.

"Because I love you," you replied without thinking. Any other time he would have grinned and said it back. That time he only cried harder, air escaping him unevenly and being gasped back in in tiny hiccups.

"You should be furious. Why aren't you mad?"

"I am upset, but I can't change that right now. I know I need a few days to calm down. You do, too. You're exhausted."

"Not for you," he argued stubbornly. "Let me make it up to you. Let me take care of you."

"Kyungsoo--" your voice snagged in your throat as his lips met your neck. They pressed softly to your flesh, peppering affections up the line of your jaw. When they reached the joint by your ear they became more urgent, trailing back down.

"Let me make you feel good," he whispered hotly, the words spilling from him in a rush to speak in between kisses. "Let me make you cum in the way only I can." You bit your tongue to prevent any noise from escaping. The tip of his tongue darted out to taste your skin. You knew he must have caught his tears in the process. You jerked away and immediately regretted it. Your eyes met his. They were bloodshot and dewy. The dark circles underneath puffed out with his cheeks that were blotchy and red. A single new streak stained his face from the center of his right eye where a salty droplet had collected on his lower lashes, and something inside of his dark brown irises fractured. He was pouting. Bottom lip jutting out past the upper, and your chest ached. You spoke slowly, absorbed in his eyes. Torn between comforting Kyungsoo and protecting yourself.

"Don't...look at me like that." He sucked in his plump lower lip to nibble at in an attempt to hide the emotions oozing through in physical form. You thumbed at his cheek to wipe away the wetness there. His gaze danced around your features before drifting to your own lips longingly and darting up again like he was afraid of getting caught.

"Like what?" His speech was just as drawled out.

"Like I'm breaking your heart."

"Then let me feel you." It wasn't right. Both of your mindsets were all wrong. Without replying you rose to your feet. He remained stunned on the floor. You walked to the kitchen and poured a few sips of whiskey in a glass then returned to him. When you kneeled he swiped at his eyes and choked back a sob. It didn't work well. His small gasp was sharp and loud in the quietness of the apartment. You took up his hand and urged his fingers to grasp the cup. He threw the liquor back, glass thudding on the hardwood afterward. Another sharp, choking gasp. More tears fell. He was panicking, his whole body quaking as it became more difficult for him to breathe. He hunched over, legs falling out beside him, forearms on the floor, hiding his face in the space between. Calmly, you brought a big, fluffy blanket back to where he lay huddled in on himself. Panic attacks you knew how to handle. His wasn't full blown yet, but you saw the harsh breathing and scared look on his face. Everything had become too much for him to conceal behind his stoic features. It didn't surprise you that with his stressful job something like this could happen. He was mentally and physically drained from touring and running into his abusive ex that afternoon. He had pushed himself too hard. Put too many expectations on himself. On you. You weren't perfect, and you weren't going to instantly forgive every transgression of his towards you, but you weren't going to close him out either. You didn't always know what to do and say despite what he thought.

Draping the blanket over his small frame did nothing. He needed something to ground him to reality. You hugged his middle awkwardly from the side, resting your head on his back. The touch made him flinch at first, but when he realized your intention he curled up tighter. His shaking hands pulled the blanket around his face, his sharp gasps elongating, attempting to control his breathing.

"It's okay," you said quietly. "Just breathe. I'm here, Kyungsoo. Listen to me. Nothing bad is going to happen. Don't force yourself. It's okay to cry. I won't leave you. You're not alone through this. Just breathe." You huffed as his arms came around you suddenly, pulling you to your side. He hugged your waist, face hidden under your chin, fingers digging into your back, grappling to you like a life buoy. You embraced him while he sobbed and shook in your arms.

This was the only way he'd ever hold you.

Desperation.

Desperate to feel your contact, desperate to claim you, desperate to keep you. Was that what you had become? Not just a support, but the cure-all to his hurts? The bandage? The balm? You promised to help him trust again and be by his side. But...somewhere along the way did you cease to exist without his name following you? Y/N and Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo and Y/N. Kyungsoo brought his girlfriend today. Kyungsoo's girlfriend invited us all over for dinner. Kyungsoo gets anxious when you touch his girl. They're attached at the hip. Kyungsoo's moving in with her soon.

You had been steadily stripped down. You were his. Not just in heart; in name and soul. In your quest to make his heart more accepting you had isolated yourself. You had let his unhealthy habits creep up on you and take over. You were too soft. Gave in to his indulgences too readily. Kyungsoo made you weak. You couldn't resist him at all.

After near an hour passed Kyungsoo evened out his breathing, but didn't let up his hold. He let you raise his head to look at you. You wiped his face and nose with the blanket.

"There. Now will you come sleep?" He nodded silently. Kyungsoo leaned forward to kiss you, but you turned away. He frowned and croaked out,

"Why won't you let me touch you?" You blushed, ashamed by the answer, and tried to move. He pulled you down and held you still. "Why?" You shoved on his chest. It was hard to think with his big, round, sad eyes that close. You leaned on your elbow, staring at the floor.

"Because," you muttered bitterly. "What's the point?"

"What's the point?" he scoffed in disbelief. "Comfort? Relief? Pleasure? Love?"

"What love?" The words slipped before you could stop them. His eyes widened. You both sat up. More word vomit left your mouth without thinking. "You just fuck me because you're possessive. I'm sure little miss perfect chef got all your real love. You've never just touched me."

"What do you mean?" You sighed.

"It won't ever be enough, will it?"

"I don't understand, jagi. Of course I love you."

"I know you do, but how else do I know except from your word alone? What parts of you did she get that I'm not? How much more did you touch her and mean it? It feels like she got the real Kyungsoo and I'm only getting the pieces she left behind. She was so fucking amused I was picking up her leftovers. That sounds so selfish and stupid out loud, but how else am I supposed to think when the only times you fuck me are when you need me for something? Comfort or someone to claim as yours. Why can't I be enough for you as I am? Why do I have to wait for you to be hurting?" Your voice cracked on the last sentence. "I don't understand why you can't just love me with your whole heart. It hurts, Kyungsoo. It hurts knowing the person you love with every fiber of your being doesn't trust you and return that feeling."

"You think I don't?" he exhaled pitifully. His eyebrows came together and rose up. Lost and pained. "Y/N. Jagiya..." He wiped his eyes clear of any lingering tears. "Is that why you were so upset?"

"Partially."

"I never--" He paused and started over, trying to find the right words. You continued staring at the floor. "We were only together once, and I didn't enjoy it. Not like I love being with you. You showed me how amazing it could feel to be with someone because you care about them. I was an awkward mess around her. It wasn't me. It's so easy for me to be myself with you." Your gaze lifted.

"Really?"

"Really really." The corner of your mouth ticked upward. Kyungsoo stroked your cheek, fingers tangling in your hair. "She didn't even care to get to know me, but you know me better than anyone. I promise I love you wholeheartedly. I do trust you. You have me; all of me. Not pieces or leftovers. She didn't know what the fuck she was talking about."

"Why don't you act like it?"

"Because I'm an idiot," he chuckled. You scoffed, but an amused smirk pulled on your lips. You really were weak around him. "Are you still mad?"

"A little." He frowned.

"Why?"

"I don't believe you."

"I don't understand."

"It doesn't feel like I know you. I'm constantly guessing. I've never been able to understand you."

"Oh...really?" He blinked at you innocently. "I've always thought it was amazing how intuitive you are." You huffed out a weak laugh.

"Then you must not know me either." Kyungsoo made a pensive expression then stood. You watched, unsure, as he bent down and held out his hands. After hesitating a moment you took them and he pulled you to your feet. You followed silently as he walked through your apartment to the living room. He tossed the blanket you gave him over the sofa. You tilted your head in questioning. He pushed the coffee table aside then took out his phone. He set it on the sofa and faced you, bowing at the waist as the music started. A waltz. The strings established the rhythm, plucking lightly. They were joined by a clarinet then a saxophone who began the melody. Kyungsoo outstretched a hand with a hopeful half smile.

"Dance with me?" You stood shocked. He closed the distance and wrapped his fingers around yours with one hand. They still trembled slightly. He guided the other to his shoulder before resting his on your waist. You gaped.

"Y-you dance? Like, ballroom?"

"I learned," he answered. Before you could say anything the rest of the orchestra came through the speaker on his phone, all joining the melody, and he pulled you in to step with him. It was more of a small shuffle in the tiny space, but it was dancing. You kept up after shaking off the shock, avoiding his feet. "I saw you dancing in the kitchen a few times when you thought I was in the bathroom," he explained. "So I asked your roommate and she said you liked old fairytale tropes more than you'd admit. Told me you always secretly dreamed of dancing spontaneously with your significant other. I've been listening to classical music and decided to watch a few videos on waltzing. I was going to surprise you when we moved in to our new apartment." It was hard to take in. Not only had Kyungsoo been studying the music you loved to play, but he learned to dance to some of that music. It was extremely touching. No one had ever tried to get in to classical music for your sake. They brushed it off as boring or didn't want to take the time. Playing music in an orchestral setting was the thing you loved doing more than anything else in the world, and he took the time to understand that. To immerse himself in it. He listened and took it to heart. He knew you better than you'd thought.

"Kyungsoo..." you breathed. He blushed under your stare, losing some of his nerve.

"Am I not turning enough? Did I pick a bad song?"

"I had no idea you were listening to this music for me."

"Of course. You listen to mine."

"But dancing too?" He chortled and shook his head in mock disappointment.

"Unbelievable. Your eyes are all sparkly like stars. How did I fall for such a dork?" The key changed in the song, more violins joining. You held his hand tighter. He smiled warmly, face inches from yours. And he had insisted in the past he wasn't one for grand romantic gestures. Liar. A smirk pulled on your lips.

"I seem to recall it was because you got shitfaced drunk and had to be taken care of like a lost puppy."

"Low blow."

"A cute, small puppy." He scowled, a playful glint in the twitch of his lips.

"You're gonna take that back." The strings did a flourish as the music crescendoed and changed back to the original key. Kyungsoo stepped quickly and spun you out from his body, still keeping hold of one hand. You were standing beside him. Then on the next count he tugged you to reverse the spin. You collided ungracefully with his chest. Kyungsoo held you close as you continued waltzing in your living room. He was grinning. You wavered a moment at the blinding quality. His eyes weren't bloodshot anymore. He was genuinely happy. You felt your heart skip. "Still think I'm cute?" You couldn't answer. The words wouldn't form. You were struck speechless. Kyungsoo slid his hand to the small of your back and mumbled, "such a dork." It was almost as if your fight hadn't occurred. Almost.

The dance went on. One two turn, one two turn, one two turn. Right back left, right back left, right back left, all in a circle. It wasn't your rug anymore. You were twirling on a cloud. And he was the gentleman to sweep you off your feet. It was something you'd only dreamed about. There was a magical quality to being able to dance with someone else. Normally you spun around a ghost in the kitchen while cooking or cleaning. An invisible partner was nothing compared to this. Your daydreams weren't perfect, but this was. Your feet naturally followed beside his. His palm in yours grew clammy. The second your other hand slipped from his shoulder to his chest you could feel his heartbeat. It fluttered under your fingertips. This was real. His love for you was real. You felt like such an ass for doubting him.

"You've done a lot for me too you know," you pointed out meekly. He looked at you pointedly, arching an eyebrow.

"Yeah?"

"Well first, you did all this for me."

"You like the dancing?"

"I like that you tried to take interest in my passions. Let's not even count the number of times you've helped me get better at cooking or just did it for me. You also support my work. I can't even begin to find the words to show my appreciation for that encouragement. I can tell you've changed since I met you. Maybe that's just you opening up more, but I think you worked really hard to forget about the bad habits your ex instilled in you. Seeing her today couldn't have been easy. Especially with me there making a mess of things." The tempo slowed. Kyungsoo focused on you with a ferocity only he could accomplish while simultaneously looking relaxed. It was always an experience being under his scrutiny. It astounded you how completely he could narrow in on one goal and stay on it. It showed in his work every day. He made you feel like you were the only existing thing. Like your little universe was only populated by you two. That only you mattered. It was thrilling and terrifying, and filled your chest with warmth. It was safe locked in his gaze. Comforting.

"You don't need to apologize. I wouldn't have been able to get through that if you weren't there for me."

"Shut up a minute I'm trying to be corny." He chuckled at your outburst. "You're warm and kind, and thoughtful. Smart and talented. Maybe a little too practical sometimes, and you're grumpy when you're bored."

"I thought you were going to compliment me."

"But I love you," you finished. "I'll always love you. I can't imagine a future without you there. I'm sorry for getting jealous and doubting your feelings. It was stupid. I'm happiest with you. You're safe."

"That sounds awfully close to boring."

"Not at all. I just mean you make me feel at home." You sighed and jokingly added, "It's like lately we've switched places. I'm being insecure and you're taking chances." The tempo was gradually increasing again as the strings kept the counter-melody lighter with short notes.

"So my dancing is charming enough to get you to forgive me?"

"Yeah. Sure. I'll still need a few days to cool down though." The lower brass entered bombastically, and Kyungsoo did one sharper turn to catch you off guard, making you gasp. He grinned and laughed at your reaction.

"Is this the first time you've danced with anyone?"

"Of course. It's not exactly commonplace."

"Well remind me to do it more often," he declared. "Your face is priceless." Your cheeks flamed up. The entire orchestra came back in in a different key, loud and magnificent. It swept you up with a feeling of nostalgia and romance. You wished you could remain in his arms all night like this. The song was coming to a close. A solo violin took over the last few bars. "Do you still want to move in with me?"

"Absolutely," you answered without hesitating. Kyungsoo slowed your steps gradually until you were standing still, eyes fixed on you. He looked enchanted. Your mind jumped back to the restaurant one last time. The way he was trapped under her in a trance...wasn't the same. He had been rigid and almost frightened. Here with you it was different. Almost like he wanted to be drowned by you. He welcomed your call to come closer. He yearned for the emotions to swallow him up. You couldn't quite place your finger on it, but it was more transparent than before. He leaned closer, letting your hand go so he could cup your face. There were no masks or illusions or fancy words. Kyungsoo was open; drawing you in through his heady gaze.

The violin cried through a long fermata. Then he kissed you. Just a whispered touch. The first in an ever deepening pool that would threaten to consume you. He kept coming back for more, plush lips pressing languid, lingering touches to yours. His breath fanned across your face. His tongue teased your lower lip, and you opened to him. The hand on your back urged you forward, molding his body to yours while his other threaded fingers in your hair. You ran your palms over the plane of his chest, feeling the muscles tense and jump at the simplest brush of skin. Your fingers linked around the back of his neck. Little sighs and breathless moans like fading sunlight poured into your mouth. His desperation melded with yours and grew with every gentle caress. He splayed his hands on your back, cradling you as if he had been practicing exactly how to in his head all night. He pressed more firmly against you. His lips brushed against yours more incessantly. If there was a time you could pinpoint where you forgot about everything and gave in, that was it.

The desire to direct how the night would end dissipated. You didn't care. Kyungsoo could have kissed that monster of a woman in the restaurant and you'd still love him. He was it. You knew it deep down in your bones. You may not believe in soulmates, and it's true no one is perfect, but Kyungsoo was perfect for you. There was no one else you'd rather spend your time with. You'd be his forever if he asked.

Kyungsoo stepped forward. You stumbled backward with him. He continued with this until the backs of your knees hit your bed. He gingerly lowered you to the mattress, refusing to disconnect your mouths. Body pressed tightly to yours, you ran out of air. You gasped for breath. His lips traveled to your ear.

"I love you," he mumbled sweetly. You shivered visibly. "Completely and always." He rolled so you were laying on his chest. Your legs intertwined with his, arms wrapping around you securely.

"I love you, too Kyungsoo. Always." He sighed contentedly and you rested your head on his shoulder. One of his hands slid up the card through your hair. Then a low vibration hit your ears. His chest rumbled. He was humming. The notes drifted around the small bedroom like a lullaby. The waltz. It was relaxing and his voice soothed all the heartache. Smooth and rich. Like a colorful ribbon dancing around and gently touching each note. You loved his voice. Always overflowing with emotion. It never failed to lighten your mood when the world around weighed on you. Naturally, you joined. The harmonization was one you never tried before. You weren't trained like he was. But you had the ear for music, and it was hard to mess up humming. Kyungsoo smiled kindly, surprised by hearing your voice. He kept playing with your hair, sending shivers down your spine. Before you realized it you were drifting off to sleep.

[kaorei-endgame]

Ranking of Resident Evil save room themes?

I got my first latte of the season, it’s chilly enough to wear pants indoors, #Streamtober started yesterday. LET’S DO THIS, NICK. >:O 

17. Resident Evil 6 Chapter Ends, All Characters: Back to the cabbage patch. None of you are valid, with your Netflix Original knock-off of some ABC knock-off of 24-ass soundtrack. Go suck a giraffe’s dick with an Ada clone, Jake Muller.

16. Resident Evil, Deadly Silence: What is this Resident Evil for Babiez? Nintendogz+ResidentEvilz? Imagine listening to this on the crappy DS speakers. Wasn’t there something creepy about Jill’s costume in this game, like you could tear pieces of it off, or am I just conjuring fall memories and combining them with how they went out of the way to add boob bounce to the REmake 15 years after the fact, and now Jill’s boobs on PS4 undulate languidly beneath her shirt like a pair of Dragon Quest Slimes yearning to be free. This track: aural despair, unleavened. A way to quickly induce nausea in dogs who have eaten chocolate or raisins.

15. Resident Evil 6, Ada Chapter End: Well, okay, this one is all right. The first fifteen seconds feel like a HiFi version of a track from those Playstation 1 top-down shooters where you played a murder clown or a pyro guy escaping a space prison where you were held for crimes you definitely DID commit. The little background jog kicks in soon after and look, I’m a soft sell for ululation, what can I say.** But it just all just serves to stir memories like embers finally gone to smolder beneath the fireplace ash, stoking them after all these years, reminding me what a weird psycho they turned Ada into in this game. I like reflecting on how people got so mad about there not being co-op in Ada’s campaign that Capcom patched in a partner but his name is like “TeamMate” or “Buddy” and he has no lines of dialogue and is never addressed in the story in any way and thus is either a figment of Ada’s imagination or he’s a real dude who’s just pretty quiet and ultimately drowned on that sub? Well, I guess life’s tough if you’re the (potentially imagination) friend of an ex-spy turned pod person.

**(i contacted my musician friend, Kylie, who confirmed that ululation  was the term i was thinking of, lest i second guess myself. at the same time, i’ll post her text here lest i misrepresent her words “Yeah, ululate as a technical term is vibrato using the tongue, so that would be wrong, but ululate as a descriptor refers to a sound that has a very pronounced waver between tones to it.” cool! i’ve often wondered if that’s the most accurate way to describe it. thanks Kylie!! :D)

14. Resident Evil Revelations 2: Claire gets the best costumes probably across the whole series and yet it feels like she’s gotten the least love of all the main cast. I never really got it, she looks good in denim, whether jacket or pant, and her Revelations 2 blazer does her all the favors. But now they’re remaking RE2 and they turned her face into this weird porcelain Precious Moments dol—MY BELOVED DAUGHTER. MY MOIRA. I SWEAR I’LL FIND YOU. FOR THE SAKE OF JBLL I WILL AVENGE YOU AND THE OTHER ONE.

13. Resident Evil 0: What’s with all the shivery whiney stuff. Like your younger sibling running nails down the chalkboard of your spine, like how the speed run of this game hinges on juggling an evasive bat with 5 out of the 6 flame rounds on hand, so try. Neither relaxing nor scary. Do I hear something like a bongo in the distance? That is the clarion call of Becky Chamber’s goose booty coming home to roost.

12. Resident Evil 7: I had a dream last night about this game. If you have phobias about glass and/or mouths and/or wasp genitals, I would skip this paragraph. I was in the house where you have to run away from the mom with the disgusting wasp hive vagina. Also—unrelated and yet somehow related, as dreams always are—I had opened a beer bottle in such a way that the stem broke. I had decided to drink it anyway and now, as I progressed through the house, I found that there seemed to be endless small slivers of glass in my mouth that I had to repeatedly spit out lest they cut me. When I woke up, my jaw was clenched to the point of soreness. Welcome to the family, I guess. Otherwise this save room music reminds me of the game itself: mostly dull and barely there.

11. Resident Evil Revelations: Item Box Music, only Save Room Adjcanet. Can’t disassociate this from the “swish-swish-swish-SHUCK” sound effects of navigating menus to equip Charge Shot 2 to my Shotgun. Not as pleasing or as integrated into my bone marrow as  the Resident Evil 3 equivalent, but I have probably played this game through thirteen or fourteen times at this point. Life is short and yet the strings of fate tug us the directions they will.

10. Resident Evil 5: Again, this is menu music. No save rooms at all in this game. Anyway I have no inherent memory of this song because I’m sure I’ve talked over it while upgrading my M92FS to 100 bullet capacity 110% of the times I’ve played this game. Exempted from higher echelon of rankings on these technicalities, but still A POOR PERFORMANCE INDEED for Not The Best Resident Evil Yet Paradoxically The One That’s Given Me The Most Joy In My life.

9. Resident Evil, Dead Aim

: Wow I almost can’t believe I don’t remember this despite playing this game enough to write a speedrun guide for it. Well, that was the style at the time. As was a bloated zombie corpse boss, I suppose (long before Left 4 Dead, those copy cats), whose weak spot was its exposed brain which, halfway through the fight when you’d done enough damage, would pop out and dance a sprightly jig on its brainstem every time you shot it. With the whisper of wind and rain and single intermittent synth I feel like I’m living in a cyberpunk future and not a game whose protagonist’s “””cajun””” accent is as questionable as its presentation of the antagonist’s gender.

8. Resident Evil, Umbrella Chronicles

: Hey now, weird bit of the creepy-freaky bass here kind of does put you in a certain headspace, but it’s not the headspace i remember of this game, which was basically unplayable in co-op for the final 3rd because a failed QTE would result in a hunter slicing away half your health. Good for an Into the Breach playlist to keep you focused on the action and stop you from trying to play it while also binging a Netflix show about werewolves that you didn’t really like anyway, and splitting your attention between visual mediums is just getting Good Pilots Killed.

7. Resident Evil 2: Ominous. Maybe TOO Ominous at points. Aren’t save rooms about being safe? I guess we could argue that because the save room reflects the lacuna of safety  BING BONG piano is the Try Hard version of video game music asking “you scurred yet?” Perhaps a novice mistake from a first-time director who would go on to do so many great things (well, RE2 among them, no lie). In a way, this fits with Rookie Cop Leon S. Kennedy, and anyway it’s so over the top I’m kind of okay with it. Most innervating when first heard on your way to equip a cowgirl costume for fast-firing six-shooter action. Guns suck, and cowboys too, but both are okay if we experience them in the abstract sense. This is what culture teaches us. Fan the trigger.

6. Resident Evil 4: A surprisingly gentle one, considering the series turn towards action from which it would never recover. I am transported to the early minutes of a horror movie where the audience knows something the protagonist doesn’t about the terror that’s about to befall them while they blithely pick up a desiccated nudie mag in an old shed on a haunted property they inherited from their estranged uncle, more focused on the “ballistics” before them than the axe murderer crouched in the shadows of disused farm equipment behind.

5. Resident Evil 3, Nemesis: More languid riff on 2. Strings get you shivery, and no more than a single BONG per two measures proves that save room music is as much about the notes you DON’T play. Two bongs to scare, but one bong to keep you on your toes, disallowing you from getting *too* relaxed by the soothing bleeps and bloops as you combine the 3 Gunpowder As you just found to make sure you have enough ammo to pistol-juke the so-called unkillable Nemesis. You’re not coward, but that doesn’t make you brave. Discretion is the better part of valor, they say, but that’s not taking into account that non-discretiony valor rewards you directly with a faster-firing pistol with critical headshots. :3

4. Resident Evil 1, Vanilla: Gentle, plucky strings make you question your memory, more familiar with later revisions than you are this one. How often was I in this place? Or does its primacy belie its immediacy? If I went to the strange, pointless closet around the corner from this medicine save room, would I find a broken shotgun I expect there, a round of magnum ammo, or simply the ghost of discarded aspirations masking as memories. I recall a time when it felt like time was enough, but then again, this was back when anything sub-three hours would get you the infinite rocket launcher, regardless of how many First Aid Sprays you used.

3. Resident Evil 1, REmake: High fidelity version of RE1’s gentle strings remind you of simpler times when your worst fears were zombies resurrecting into scarier, faster zombies with claws. What we wouldn’t give to go back to those days, and maybe tell ourselves not to take out so much student debt. Listening to this sends a pulse of gentle energy through my shoulder blades that makes me think “relaxation,” though I’m not sure my body understands the meaning of the word. A respite in trying eras, there is no association with the tension of shaving 15 minutes off your time to be competitive. “Safe Heaven,” they call it; a theme for a place that is not our own, but should be.

2. Resident Evil 1, Director’s Cut: Wow I did not expect music box chimes and tones stirs something ancestral in my blood. I’ve played the Director’s Cut far more times than the original RE1 and this is like coming home to a big house where I enjoyed an idyllic childhood, but I now know every box is filled with the creepy knife doll from Onimusha. Though these senations are foreign to me, something about them inspires a thirst for a homeland I never knew.

1. Resident Evil Code Veronica: The absolute chillest. In life, paths may wind, but the ultimate  The strings are tickling your spine. You’re so relaxed you feel like oiling your ponytail, and you could even take a nap in Steve Burnside’s arms without reflexively gagging. When you hear this, you are at peace, and the world seems like a place that can be kind. Truly, the Code is Veronica.

and don’t forget to vote in our poll on whether or not we’re playing Claire A or Leon A tonight!

[imitranslates]

Honjitsu no Kami Oroshi Ch. 4

Sorry for the delay, this one took me quite a bit! Hopefully the next chapters should be done, uh, not quite as belatedly! Reminder that this chapter is viewable until August 12th on the official website!

You can read this chapter at www.ganganonline.com/contents/honzitsu/ by clicking “ [4話] アーサー王 公開! “  in the chapter listing!

Today's Divine Revelation Chapter 4 - The Legend of King Arthur

Page 1

Ryuunosuke: ?

Ryuu: ?

Rin&Ryuu: ........

Page 3

Ryuu: So,

Ryuu: Pull out the knife that was thrust into the pumpkin. (This sure is something.)

Rin: Sorry for bothering you in the middle of work.

My hands are tired, so I can't seem to do it with my strength...

Ryuu: No worries, it's fine! This'll be easy!

Ryuu: Being relied on by my little brother makes me happy...

Rin: I'm really...

Rin: Reeeally reluctant to ask you, but please.

Ryuu: ...Is it really that bad to let me enjoy it? (Every now and then.)

Page 4

Ryuu: Well, anyway. Take a good look at this, little brother.

This is your older brother's true power.

Ryuu: Huuh!

Ryuu: Nnnngh...

Ryuu: Gyah!

!!?

(crack)

Ryuu: My... My wrist...!

Ryuu: (It's tendinitis!!) My wriiiiist!!

Rin: ...

Alright already.

Page 5

Ryuu: Wait, one more time...

Let me try again!! (I'll be able to do it next time!)

Rin: It's distasteful to say things without basis ...Besides,

I don't want to think even less of you than this.

Ryuu: Don't look at me like that!!!

Ryuu: Isn't it bad if you can't pull it out?

Are you using it for dinner?

Rin: No,

I thought I'd make some pumpkin custard.

Ryuu: Flan?

Rin: I bought a pumpkin, but cutting it's more difficult than I thought.

I had some left over vanilla beans.

Ryuu: Ah! (From when I made ice cream!)

Ryuu: (Fushishi) Ehehe, custard!

Even though I didn't ask for it. Custard~~!!

Rin: You're so annoying. Is there a problem?

Ryuu: No, not at all.

Page 6

Ryuu: (Hmm.) Rintarou.

Ryuu: Can we try making King Arthur's pudding?

Rin: Huh? What's that?

Ryuu: Do you know King Arthur?

Rin: Just... the name.

Ryuu: I only read about him when I was a kid, but

Arthur was the king of Britain.

Ryuu: Near the end of the 5th century, the story of a legendary hero who fought with the Saxons spread through the continent.

Ryuu: The story of the Knights of the Round Table, the wizard Merlin, a sacred sword and the Holy Grail...

You could even say that Legend of King Arthur is the first real English fantasy tale.

Rin: Oh... Fantasy, huh... (Not my favorite.)

Page 7

Ryuu: When I told my editor about our divine revelations,

they said I should consider serializing it in a women's magazine.

Ryuu: The Legend of King Arthur is kinda romantic, don't you think?

Rin: Ah...

So it's like that.

(Rin: A king's pudding...)

Rin: Custard's pudding, right? Might as well.

Ryuu: Nice!

Now that it's decided, you should look up how to make pudding!

Rin: Huh? I already know how to make custard...

Ryuu: No, pudding's different!

Rin: Huh?

Page 8

Ryuu: When good King Arthur ruled this land~

Ryuu: If you look it up, you'll understand!

Mother Goose!

Rin: ......

What the heck's that?

[Library search for "Mother Goose"]

Page 9

Rin: (Lately...)

Rin: (I feel like I've become a regular here...)

(Rin: Here it is. It's huge...)

[Mother Goose is...

A general term used for nursery rhymes popular in Britain and America.]

Rin: (These lullabies began as ways to teach English pronunciation, songs to pass down history, songs meant to amuse, etc...

Children of all classes sang these songs during their education.)

Rin: So this stuff

Is what tons of people throughout history used to sing.

Rin: King Arthur appears in here, too, huh.

Page 10

[When good King Arthur ruled this land, 　　

He was a goodly king; 　　

He stole three pecks of barley-meal 　　

To make a bag-pudding. 　　

A bag-pudding the king did make, 　　

And stuffed it well with plums; 　　

And in it put great lumps of fat, 　　

As big as my two thumbs.]

Rin: ?

Rin: (Barley-meal...? Fat!?

Isn't this supposed to be custard pudding? What's the deal...?)

Book: Pudding: Best Collection

Book: There are all types of pudding!

The History of Pudding.

Sausage and dessert are both "pudding!?"

Rin: ...

Ah.

(What a pain... This is so over the top...)

Page 11

[But...]

Rin: ?

Rin: ?

Book: King Arthur and the two swords.

Announcement: The library will be closing shorty.

Page 12

Rin: (Crap!

I was just supposed to be doing a little research, but I got really into it...)

(Rin: It's already this late...)

Rin: (I wasn't able to finish the book about King Arthur, so I ended up checking it out.)

Rin: (The book about pudding, too.

I'll make sure to read it thoroughly la...)

Man: ?

Rin: (What, no way...

What am I getting so excited over?! Come on, me!)

Rin: (This is just some annoying thing I have to do! What's wrong with me?!!)

Page 13

[Those divine revelation menus are my job.]

[Intently doing research and spending long hours in the kitchen]

[Are just part of work.]

Rin: (Right...?)

Page 14

Rin: Why are you here.

Ryuu: I'm taking notes!

Ryuu: I can't cook, but I won't be able to write about it if I stay oblivious!

I'm counting on you to explain!

Rin: (Tch.) Coming in here and demanding something like that...

If you get in the way, you're banned from the kitchen from now on.

(Ryuu: Banned?!)

Ryuu: How cold-hearted...!!!

[Explanation]

Rin: So first, the ingredients.

Wheat flour, bread flour, brown sugar,

Spices, raisins, eggs, milk, and suet.

Ryuu: Suet?

(Also known as sukiyaki fat.)

Rin: It's beef fat.

A particular kind that comes from the area around the kidney's.

Page 15

Rin: Recently using butter has been commonplace, but

Since we're making "King Arthur's pudding," I think we should make it the old way.

Ryuu: When you say old, how old is it?

Rin: 17-18th century, I guess.

Rin: Pudding originally referred to a kind of sausage.

Back then, when the fields in fall started to thin out, cattle farmers would slaughter their cattle.

It was common to use organ casing to preserve food for later.

[There are various theories.]

Rin: Only after that, hundreds of years later, did the sweet pudding we have today get developed.

Ryuu: Ah!!

In the old stories of Mother Goose, there was something about sausage pudding!!

Ryuu: I see, so that's why! (I thought that was weird.)

Page 16

Rin: Since it's an old pastry, it's simple to make.

Rin: First, grate up the suet.

(Use a cheese grater or something like it.)

Rin: Mix it together with both flours and the sugar until it looks incorporated, then

Add the raisins, spices, beaten eggs, and milk, and stir it together.

The spices are cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, cloves, and coriander, stuff like that.

Rin: With that, the dough's done.

Rin: Now,

Rin: Next is the interesting part!

First I'll boil this cloth in water.

Ryuu: Huh? The cloth?

Rin: Yeah.

In the 17th century, something called a "pudding cloth" came about.

Rin: This cloth became a substitute for cattle organ lining.

With it, they could easily make pudding all year round.

Page 17

[Dust with flour]

Rin: What we call "basins" now were like private steam-cookers. (I've never seen one myself though.)

Rin: Now, I'll wring out the cloth, spread it out, and sprinkle it with the wheat flour from before.

Then I'll place the dough on top.

Rin: Tie it together into a pouch.

Rin: And submerge it in boiling water!

Ryuu: !!!?

Ryuu: You put it in there?!

Won't it get all soggy?!

Rin: I thought so, too, but

The flour I sprinkled on hardens and becomes like a skin. So it shouldn't get very wet...

[Doubtful.]

Ryuu: Re...

Ryuu: Really...

Page 18

[As the water evaporates, add more hot water.]

Rin: Well, anything's an experience.

To keep the water covering the bag halfway, I'll have to periodically add water over the 2-3 hours it boils.

Ryuu: That's so long!!

So, where's the one you boiled for 2-3 hours?

Rin: There isn't one.

I've been making dinner preparations until now.

Ryuu: ...Hm?

Ryuu: Wait, Rintarou.

What are you doing with that pumpkin?

Rin: What am I doing...?

I thought I'd steam it like this so I could pull the knife out. (Since I can't take it out.)

Ryuu: Stop! Stop!! Just wait a sec!!

Rin: !?

What's the deal?

(Ryuu: No way!!)

(Ryuu: You absolutely cant!!)

Page 19

Ryuu: That kitchen knife...

Please trust in me to pull that knife out later.

Rin: ......

(Rin: Trust in you..?)

Rin: ....

What?!

Page 20

Ryuu: Y'know, Rin...

Seeing you in the kitchen has become really common, huh...

Rin: !

Whose fault is that?

Rin: Lately, I feel like I'm always in the kitchen or the library.

Ryuu: Ahh, for your research.

Was the pudding lots of trouble?

Rin: (No.) Just looking up the recipe was easy, but...

Rin: I ended up getting curious about all sorts of things on the way...

Rin: If I remember correctly, the "English people" in King Arthur's time and the Saxons that had come from the continent were different.

Pudding was a traditional dish from those Saxons, but...

Ryuu: Hmm.

Rin: That pudding was also made by King Arthur.

...Isn't that a bit weird?

Ryuu: Haha! I see.

...Yeah, it's a bit weird, but it's not that weird.

Page 21

Ryuu: Because at that time,

Weren't a lot of things changing?

Ryuu: Former enemies became citizens. The shape of the country was changing.

Organ casings became cloth. Models changed.

Ryuu: And those things changed from history to written word.

Ryuu: A simple high school student

Ryuu: Becomes a chef before you know it.

Page 22

Rin: Just when did I become a chef...? (I'm just doing what my job entails.)

Ryuu: Before you know it, I said!

Hey, is your pot okay? (It's almost time, right?)

[But...

For just a moment]

[While researching and making all sorts of things]

[Before I knew it, I was enjoying it.]

Page 23

(Finish it off by baking in the oven to dry the outside.)

[Just a little...]

(Prepare a custard sauce drizzle onto the pudding.)

[But that's a secret.]

Ryuu: It's doooone!

[Today's Divine Revelation Menu:

King Arthur's Pudding (with custard sauce)]

Page 24

Ryuu: Thanks for the meal! My very first pudding!

Ryuu: ...

....

Ryuu: ...Ah...

It's rich... (Really rich.)

Rin: It's really dense!

I wonder if the thick texture is because of the beef fat.

Ryuu: I can smell the spices!

When I smelled the dough earlier, it reminded me of Christmas!

Rin: Yeah, me, too!

Next, I'll try it with the custard on top.

Ryuu: Ah, me too!

Page 25

Ryuu: ...Yeah.

Ryuu: This is really good.

Ryuu: Fancy meals are good, too, but

A traditional dish with a few ingredients, cooked simply,

Ryuu: I feel like I can touch history just by eating it.

Ryuu: Living alongside nature's cycle with their cattle,

Devising new ways to use their wheat and fruits as they ate.

[Ryuunosuke is]

Ryuu: A strong wind blows over the scarce soil...

[Summoning an unseen, far-off legend.]

[Turning back time.]

Ryuu: I can see the capital,

Where a king used to live long ago, in a land far away.

Page 26

Ryuu: And in that place,

Ryuu: Is a sword that only the rightful king can pull out.

Page 28

Ryuu: ...Please

Lend me your power...

Ryuu: I am also a king,

Ordained by literary circles in the future.

Ryuu: Come out!

Page 29

Ryuu: Ex-

Ryuu: cali-

bur!

Rin: Huh?

Rin: I thought that was a different sword from Excalibur?

Page 30

Ryuu: ...Eh...?

Rin: Oh, it came out.

Ryuu: Ehh?!

Book: King Arthur is given Excalibur by the Lady of the Lake.

Ryuu: EEEEH?

Ryuu: It really was a different sword. (I didn't know...)

Rin: (The blade's undamaged.)

Rin: I wonder if that was a real revelation...?

[There's multiple patterns.]

Page 31

Girl: Hey!

You!

Girl: Wait...

Schoolgirl: Kya!

What are you doing?!

Girl: I, I'm sorry...

This is grandma's...

The pumpkin I got from my grandmother...

Schoolgirl: That was close! Geez, what are you doing?

Schoolgirl2: Just drop it. Let's go.

Page 32

(Schoolgirl: What a joke... That stuff about her pumpkin...)

Mom: Urara, are you okay!?

Urara: Ah, yeah, I'm fine!

Mom: You scared me...

That's why I said it'd be better to send it by mail!

Now, can you stand? Let's get going.

Urara: Yeah.

Mom: Don't stray off, okay!

Urara: Okay.

Urara: (This is Tokyo...)

Page 33

[This is the city I'll be living in from now on!]

[arse-blathanna]

February 2018 Fic Roundup

For the month of February I am attempting to do the thing where I am punctual in posting my end of month roundup post. This got really long and I’m not sorry, but it’s all going under a cut anyways. It was a big month for me. 

If you want to know what’s coming in March, here’s my calendar. It’s up to date. I promise. 

Oneshots

So it was the month of February and that meant that the big driving force behind everything was Femslash. I wanted to really work with pairings that I hadn’t touched before, and there were a couple of events that I was more than happy to participate in. 

Freelancers Don’t Cry  - [Ao3]

Freelancers don’t cry- especially in the locker room where anyone can see them. South knows this, but Connie is new and could probably use a guide. South is happy to provide.

This is the fic that made me realize just how much I actually love Agent South Dakota and Agent Connecticut. it was just a lot of fun to write and I liked being able to weave in little bits of foreshadowing for how things would go in the future for our Freelancers. Also, South’s internal dialogue was fun as all hell to write. 

Hotter Than The Sun - [Ao3]

There are lot of things about Blood Gulch that are kind of awful. It's always hot and gross, and 90% of the people there suck.

The other 10%? In Kai's opinion- that's Tex, and she's always hot.

Have I ever mentioned that I absolutely love writing Kaikaina Grif? Or that she’s 100% the most fun character to write for? No? Well she is and I love writing her point of view because of just how much there is to play with in how she thinks and talks alone. This fic? I like this fic. I hope you guys like this fic too.

Bloom and Grow- [Ao3] [FFN]

With the ashes of war settled, Blake is finally able to come home. The only problem is that she has no idea what to do with her future now that she’s done fighting. Ilia can help.

Catmeleon week was this month! RWBY5 did quite a bit with Ilia and Blake both, and the plot involving Menagerie was actually pretty interesting. I was left wondering what things might look like for its future once everything in Remnant calmed down. There was conveniently a prompt for that. 

From Square One- [Ao3] [FFN]

Ever since the incident at Vale's docks, Weiss knows that she's been tiptoeing around Blake's presence. It's time to fix that, and some honesty is a good place to start.

You know what was also in the month of February? Monochrome Week! One of the periods in the timeline of RWBY that I never really knew how to deal with was that awkward time just following the ending of Season 1. It was a nice chance to dabble in that time period and play with some of the things that we see come later in Blake and Weiss’ canon relationship. All in all, it was a lot of fun to work on. 

Elegance- [Ao3]

Agent South Dakota is really the person least suited to go on a mission at some uptight party. Really, this isn't something that she belongs in at all. Carolina's better suited for the job. They just have to get in, get out, and try not to leave too much of an impression.

This should be easy.

This was probably my overall favorite fic that I wrote for femslash february. The story was one that was just stuck in my head for several days before I added it to my official roster and got started on it. I can genuinely say that there wasn’t a single moment where I didn’t enjoy writing the story or the way that things were coming out in the final product. I’m just really happy with it. 

Multichapter Fics

As far as February of 2018 has gone, the things that I’m working on in the multi-chapter category have been a little bit more than a surprise. The month ended up feeling like it was productive on an almost unprecedented level, even though my output was probably about the same. For all three of my multichapter fics, I saw them either closing their third acts, or major changes happening in their plots, or changes in structure or something which to me has been very real. 

So here’s looking forward to March. 

Evening Report - [Ao3] [FFN] [Fic Tag]

Blake Belladonna has one job in her life, and its to provide accurate information in a timely manner. A relatively mundane story is all that it takes to throw her into direct contact with Weiss Schnee, whose family secrets could make or break Blake’s career as a journalist.

Chapter 13/30: black and blues -  [Ao3] [FFN]

A quick trip to the airport and a sleepover help clear up a lot of the more fine points of Weiss' current arrangement.

Chapter 14/30: play the game -  [Ao3] [FFN]

A new player enters the game.

So the first thing that you might notice looking at this is that there is finally a stated ending point for this fic. The month of February kind of breezed by with this fic and I was mostly tying up loose ends where I was in the story. I finished writing the epilogue chapter last night! The update schedule will be staying the same. 

Published this month was only the halfway point for the story. There is still much, much more to come and my hope is that you all like where this goes and where it will eventually end up. 

Currently Writing: Nothing. This fic is in the editing and updating only stage of its existence.

Next Chapter: Chapter 15 - March 9th. Chapter 16 - March 23.

The Bones of a God - [Ao3] [FFN] [Fic Tag]

Once upon a time, monsters roamed the entire world, so plentiful that they needed countless numbers to fight them off. 13 years ago, that changed. Grimm died off suddenly and stopped proliferating. Now the few Creatures of Grimm that are left are too large and powerful to be taken down in “the old ways.”

That doesn’t make them any less of a threat.

The real problem comes when people decide it’s for the best that they start picking sides in a war starting anew

Chapter 33/?: Into The Woods - [Ao3] [FFN]

In the woods, anything can happen.

Chapter 34/?: Special Interests - [Ao3] [FFN]

Unexpected meetings occur all around.

I’ve talked about this fic to some extent and what’s happening with it, and there’s actually quite a lot that I need to go over in a formal setting. For simplicity’s sake, I’ve decided to present this information to you in the form of a numbered list. 

I am expecting to be finishing writing Bones Book 1 by the end of March, with it clocking in at around 50 chapters in total. The update schedule is going to remain the same until Evening Report finishes publishing. After that, the story will return to weekly status. 

The fic currently posted is going to be renamed at a later date to “The Bones of a God - Book One: Ichor” and will be made the first part of a series because this is going to be the best way to split the story up and will allow me to make some changes.

After Book One is finished, I am going to start writing a story that takes place 20 years before the events of the story’s start. This is going to focus on a cast of five characters when they were younger. Those characters will be the adult POV characters present in Book Two. Five chapters in total, will be posted after Book One is finished posting. 

I have started the planning of Book Two to some degree. Once I’m ready to start work on it, I’m going to do just that. 

Currently Writing: Chapter 47 out of what I’m expecting to be a 50 chapter fic.

Next Chapters: Chapter 35 - March 2nd. Chapter 36 - March 16. Chapter 37 - March 30

always at your six -  [Ao3] [Fic Tag]

The Mother of Invention went down barely a year ago, and the time in between has been rough for York and Delta. It’s been tough for Tex too, but she has information, and she needs someone to help her get some things before someone can beat her to it.

It’s a good thing York’s out of work.

Chapter 2/?: sympathetic - [Ao3]   Tex, York, and Delta move forward on their mission- starting with some grand theft..

This fic has been consistently a lot of fun to work on for me, and the first one with a soundtrack type playlist that I can actually listen to on repeat without getting bored with it. I’ve had to change a lot of things though on my end, so I’m currently writing the first interlude chapter for this fic. I’m considering amping up my update schedule to twice a month, but haven’t made a real decision yet. 

The main thing to know is that the scope of what this was supposed to be has gotten blown out of the water and also that I love Agent South Dakota. 

Currently Writing: Interlude One - South Dakota. To be posted after chapter 5 in the story. Main story has reached the end of Chapter 9. Will write Chapter 10 and Interlude Two after Interlude One is complete.

Next Chapters: Chapter 3 - March 22.

Prompts and Tumblr Only

The Scrap Blog saw its updates on the seventeenth of the month as planned. Chapters 3-4/20 in the Emercury Stripper AU “things in the dark” are now available for reading. The masterpost for that fic can be found here.

There was also an old North Dakota/York fic I wrote several months back posted there. Tristesse.

Arrowhead - A Pyrrha/Cinder Drabble that I wrote for... some reason. 

Locus/Donut Romcom AU Prompt

Ilia and Ironwood Meeting Prompt

[tanmath3-blog]

Justin Park aka.. J.R. Park is one of the friendliest people I have ever met. He always has a smile and is willing to help anyone that he can. He also can spin a great horror story. Some of the most suspenseful and chilling stories I have read have been his. If you haven’t read one of his books please make sure that you do. He is extremely talented. He is also part of the Sinister Horror Company where he works with various authors publishing and editing and making beautiful books. If you haven’t met Justin you are missing out on a really amazing friend and writer. Please take the time to read one of his books you won’t regret it!

Please welcome J.R. Park back to Roadie Notes…………

1. It’s been awhile since we talked what new books do you have out now? Latest release? I’ve had a number of new releases. The Offering: An Introduction To The Sinister Horror Company is a short story collection by myself and Daniel Marc Chant, with a fantastic foreword by George Anderson. Death Dreams In A Whorehouse is a short collection of my own. I’ve been selling it at conventions but it hasn’t been ‘properly’ released online yet. I expect I’ll release it before the end of the year, but haven’t firmed up a date yet. Postal was a book co-written with Matt Shaw. This was a great book to write. Matt came up with an initial concept. I threw some ideas at him around it and he went off and wrote his part, whilst at the same time coming up with the structure of the book. He left me a lot of room to play and to add more ideas and concepts to the mythology. It turned out really fun (in a horror sense) and has had a great reaction since its release. Mad Dog is my latest novella, a book that can be summed up as: werewolf in a prison break. It’s told from a series of interviews by survivors of the incident and is full of the spills and thrills of a pulp book/b-movie.

2. If you could pick any author alive or dead to have lunch with who would it be? Why?

So many to choose from…so many. I think I’d go with William Burroughs. I don’t know a lot about the man, but he seems to have been a fascinating, and his voice is strangely hypnotic. I could listen to him tell me strange stories of his life for hours.

3. What is the strangest thing a fan has ever done?

I’ve been sent an embroidered handkerchief once. I’m an advocate of handkerchief use, and I usually add one in every book I write. I won’t say what was on, but if you’ve read Upon Waking you might get an idea…

4. What is the one thing you dread to do when writing?

Unconscious theft. When you’re exposed to so much, it’s okay to be influenced, but sometimes you can rip something off wholesale and you the worst thing is you can be halfway through before you notice. Another pain is if you come up with a great and work on something only for someone else to come up with the same idea. It hasn’t happened to me yet, but I have seen it happen, and it’s an awful position to be in.

5. Did you have imaginary friends growing up? Tell me about them

I did. It was an imaginary dog called Stripe (named after the Gremlin). The dog was small but not a real breed. It had neon fur, big teeth and a silver mohawk. I used to take him on walks with me, and secretly held his lead so others couldn’t see. My imaginary friend was my secret.

6. Do you go to conventions? If not why?

I really enjoy going to conventions. Because I go as part of a publishing company I don’t get invited as a guest and therefore have to pay for a pitch etc. This means with all the associated costs I never make my money back, but that’s not the point. It’s real fun to meet old fans and make new ones. Meet up with other horror fans and have a laugh. I usually spend more money than I make, but I just can’t help myself. Artifacts from conventions adorn my writing desk – a unicorn, a mask of a nazi zombie of American Werewolf In London… The craziest journey to get to a convention was in Dublin during 2016. Myself and Matt Shaw took a bus and ferry. We travelled all day and night, arriving at the convention an hour before it was due to start. We were so tired and then had to endure the Game Of Thrones theme on loop as we were pitched next to their stand. I think we both left that weekend slightly more deranged.

7. How many times did you have to submit your first story before it was accepted?

I never did! I went into self-publishing with my first book. I decided to let the critics guide me through reviews. So far it’s turned out okay. I’ve only subbed to a few other publishers. I had a rejection this year for a short story, and I was okay with that. They had a vision for their book and my story didn’t fit in with it – no problem. Another publisher moved their submission date without telling me. They brought it forward. It was a real shame as I had set up a writing schedule in date order. I really wanted to sub for the book and was gutted when they suddenly had the book filled. It’s being treated this way that puts me off working with other publishers. But you can’t let one bad experience stop you from working with others; and on the whole they have been pretty good.

8. Ever consider not writing? If so what made you continue?

I enjoy writing, and in some capacity I always will. Sometimes my creative energy will be spent elsewhere; maybe making films or writing music. But I’ve always enjoyed writing and never go anywhere with at least a pen and pad on me.

9. Ever thought about writing in a different category?

Yeah, very much so. I was writing poetry before I started writing horror, and I may go back to that. I love how one line of poetry can disarm you, so much more than a whole passage of prose in a book. It’s like concentrated emotion. Boil everything down. Strip the words back further and further until you’re left with the essence. That’s powerful stuff. I’ve also considered writing a different way. I write horror under the name J. R. Park. Why? Because it’s me, but not all of me. It’s only a part of me. To write under my full name Justin Park, it would have to be a full expression of me; unconfined from any particular genre. I’m currently reading a number of non-horror books and so we’ll see what influence these may have.

10. Any new additions to the family?

Not for me. I live in a shared house, much the same way as I did when I left University. I know at my age most people have settled down with a partner and live with them. Maybe they have a dog or cat. Maybe a child or two. I used to think there was something wrong with me for not living like that. Like I was some kind of failure. Of course that’s nonsense. There’s more than one way to live your life, and this is the way I’m living mine.

11. What is coming up next for you?

All planned book releases are out for the year. I am considering releasing Death Dreams At Christmas – a collection of Christmas horror stories. I love Christmas so it would be nice to get involved in the festive season. The other thing that I have coming up is the production and release of the Sinister Horror Cards. Based on Top Trumps, it’s an idea I had ever since I started writing. We are halfway through the art production at the moment and they are looking beautiful.

12. Do you do release parties? Do you think they work?

I don’t, so I don’t know if they work. I attended one once, and my Facebook feed got so full I couldn’t keep up. So as a reader and horror fan I didn’t like them, so I won’t do them for my own books. I’ve donated some books as prizes for other’s launch parties, but it’s not something I’d interested in. I’m sure it works for other people, and good luck to them. I think I’d rather have a real party. If I could set up an annual horror party that would be fun. Currently there are meet ups like FCON which has a good gathering of authors and readers.

13. Do you have crazy stalker fans? Have you ever had one you wish would go away? You haven’t made it until you’ve got a stalker. Thankfully, I haven’t made it yet.

14. Do you still have a “day job” ? If so what do you do?

I do. I work for the Government. I can’t tell you anymore; if I did, I’d have to kill you…

15. What is your process for writing? Do you have a voice in your head?

I usually start with a scene of two. These make pivotal points in the story. Then a write a paragraph describing the story. I expand it to a page with a beginning and end. Then I brainstorm to work out more detail before writing a chapter by chapter plan. Each chapter have notes that last a page and a half. It’s stream of consciousness so it can veer from notes to lines of dialogue to actual prose that gets used in the book. I do this so when I start writing I don’t accidentally write myself in a corner. I have read many books with unnecessary chapters and events that hold no relevance to the plot and I’m left wondering what was the point other than padding. It’s like an author starting writing a bit because they thought it was cool and then got bored, wrapped it up and carried on in a different direction. I decent editor would take those pages out, and it annoys when plots meander with no purpose. I like my stories to be well thought out from the start. ‘Not a word wasted’ is a comment I’ve received on a couple of times; and that makes me proud. Anyway… once I’ve got the plan I’ll write out chapter by chapter. Things may change and alter in that process, but I make notes as I go. Flow is important to me, and although I don’t have a voice in my head, I actually read a lot of my own work back aloud. This helps to get the feel of the flow, and find out if there are any cumbersome sentences that need re-working.

16. Is there a book you want to make a sequel to you haven’t yet?

I’d be tempted to write sequel to many of my books. Punch would be great to have a follow-up as there is a dangling plot thread no one notices that I’d love to tie up – mainly just to point it out, and then everyone will go ‘oh yeah’. The Exchange has a mighty follow-up swirling around my head. It involves many creatures and weird things. Think occult-style Star Wars. There’s also an idea for a follow-up to Mad Dog. Most likely called Mad Man, it will take the themes and styles of Mad Dog and push them to their inevitable conclusion.

You can connect with Justin Park here:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JRParkAuthor/?fref=ts

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/J.-R.-Park/e/B00OL04SD0/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_3?qid=1504592405&sr=8-3

Website: http://sinisterhorrorcompany.com/

  Some of Justin Park’s books:

  Getting even more personal with Justin Park Justin Park aka.. J.R. Park is one of the friendliest people I have ever met. He always has a smile and is willing to help anyone that he can.