#and i couldnt get sebek out of my head even tho I don't rly like him

[loveydovey-leviathan]

fights with sebek and talking it out

x gn!reader

warnings: curse words, like 1 small mention of self-hatred, probably ooc sebek :/

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Saying that today was not your day would be more than just a major understatement. Everything, both small and big, seemed to be going wrong. You woke up late on top of your desk, having spent the entire night cramming for an important test you completely forgot about, not to mention Grimm didn’t even try to help, so the grade was entirely on you. And while you ran towards the school, you tripped and injured yourself, which also sent Grimm flying across the pavement. Luckily, he wasn’t hurt, but he did talk your ear off for it.

So you arrived to class injured, tired, and your uniform messed up. The professor made you stay back during lunch, which was to be expected, but the thought didn’t do anything to help your mood. And during the rest of the exam, the students stared as they laughed amongst themselves- the magicless prefect once again shows how much they don’t belong.

And so to add several shakes of salt to the already wide-open wound, you were also hungry- having skipped breakfast. At the very least, you packed Grim some extra tuna so he didn’t complain too much. But as you cleaned the class, you accidentally tipped over a beaker. The sound made a loud crash! in the empty schoolroom. It was safe to say your punishment got worse.

As you walked to your next class, you saw your friends for the first time today, and the first thing Ace does is make a comment about your appearance.

“Geez, what happened to you? You look like a mess-,”

“Not today, Ace,” you usually wouldn’t have minded, but it was only halfway through this excruciatingly long and stressful day and you wanted nothing more than for it to be over. To close your eyes and sleep for the next few days, to replenish your energy so you could have enough strength to handle the next pile of bullshit Crowley or someone else will inevitably put you through.

You expected him to keep pushing the topic, but your look may have convinced him to stop his jokes for once. Whatever it was, you were grateful that he read the signs and shut his mouth. And thankfully, so did the rest of the first-year gang. You could tell they were keeping themselves in line for you. Maybe you’d treat them with something when you had the time.

But all the peace your friends had been desperately trying to keep will inevitably come crashing down in the form of green hair, crocodile eyes and a loud mouth. And to make things even more unfortunate, it was the end of the day and the one time you were alone, Grim had gone scampering off to Scarabia (thank the Seven for the crappy cellphone Crowley gave you and the fact that Jamil woke up with a kind heart today). In other words, you were at your wit’s end.

“HUMAN!!”

You take in a deep breath before turning your head, meeting the eyes of Sebek, and before you could tell him that you’ve had a bad day and would really appreciate some peace and quiet-

“Young Master wishes to invite you over to Diasomnia for a group study session! ”

“Sorry Sebek,” you interrupt him with a sigh. You really don’t have the energy to study, let alone walk to another dorm and face the Diasomnia students, glaring at you for daring to even look at their Great Malleus.

“EXCUSE ME?! For someone as great as him to personally extend an invitation to-”

“God, do you ever shut up?!”

The words had tumbled out of your mouth before you could even properly register them in your head, and all that is left is silence as you watch one of your closest friends take in what you said. Your brain refuses to cooperate as you desperately try to get yourself to open your mouth and apologize.

“Sebek, I-”

By the time you manage to gain control of your body, you know it’s too late. You see the exact moment his face hardens, and all he gives you is a nod before he turns around and walks back to his dorm. 

Not knowing what to do, you just watch him leave. You figured you would give him some space before you tried apologizing, maybe the time alone wallowing in your own misery and self-hatred would be enough to convince the emotional part of your brain that you had suffered enough, that karma had already been dealt and you wouldn’t feel as bad for hurting him.

But try as you might, you couldn’t get the image of his eyes glistening for just a moment before he walked away out of your head.

…

An entire week had passed since the incident. You had tried approaching him to apologize numerous times, but you were 100% sure that he had been actively avoiding you. Your little gang had tried talking with him to help, but it seemed Sebek had been avoiding them as well. And during the few times they managed to catch up to him, as soon as they brought up your name, he would make some type of excuse and run off.

Sebek Zigvolt. Running away from confrontation.

At this rate, you had half a mind to walk up to his room after school so you could apologize right then and there, where he would have nowhere to go. You wouldn’t, of course, but you were definitely thinking about it.

But it seems like you didn’t have to go to such measures, because when you arrived at Ramshackle Dorm, you saw him standing on your porch.

You quietly tell Grim to go inside and have dinner without you, and for once, he complies with no fight. You watch him go through the little pet door you had installed in case he wanted to get in when you weren’t nearby. 

As soon as he was safely inside, you walk up to Sebek, who was staring at you with the hardened expression he’s worn on his face since your confrontation. Lilia must have talked to him and convinced him to confront you directly, for which you're grateful. Sebek looked like he had something to voice out, which was strange since you were the one at fault here.

A large and incredibly awkward silence filled the air as the both of you tried to think of what to say. But you’re the first one to speak.

“Umm… okay,” you take a slightly shaky breath. “I’m uhh- I’m sorry, Sebek,”

He says nothing, so you continue.

“Sorry I lashed out at you. You didn’t do anything wrong, I was just-” you let out a guilty sigh. “I was just really tired that day. It’s not an excuse, but- yeah. I’m sorry,”

It definitely wasn’t the best apology, but you hope that your sincerity came forth.

But still, no response. His eyes were looking at you as intensely as ever, and you don’t know what that means.

“Err.. Sebek?”

“...I’m… having difficulty finding the words to properly express myself,”

“O…kay. Umm..” you try to think of a way to help him, but your mind is blank. “Do you want to sit down?”

He stares at you for a moment before giving a curt nod. You look around and realise you don’t really have anywhere to sit, so you opt for the rickety stairs of the porch, and he soon follows.

The silence stretches on for a long while, but you have no problem waiting. Still, it wouldn’t do to just stare at him as he thinks of ‘how to properly express’ himself, so you distract yourself with your thoughts.

If you didn’t know him as well as you did, you’d think he wouldn’t have taken what you said to heart. He’s always had tough skin (literally and metaphorically), and a comment like that wouldn’t have even made a dent. But you’ve known each other for months now, and while there were still many things that remained a mystery to you when it came to Sebek, you knew he was more sensitive than he let on, especially when said person is dear to him.

Despite everything, your slightly fucked-up head couldn’t help but be glad that this situation practically proved that he saw you as someone to care about.

”Many people have told me that I am too loud and boisterous, but I never pay them any mind,” you quickly recollect your thoughts and focus all your attention on him, and from the tone of his voice and the way he wouldn’t turn to face you, it was evident that this was hard for him to admit.

“My sole duty is to protect the Young Master, so if cowardly people like them want to talk in whispers behind my back, so be it,”

Another pause, like he so desperately wanted to stop there, but nonetheless, he pushed forward.

“So imagine my surprise when I came to the realization that I was hurt by what you had said. I realized that it wasn’t because of your statement, but because you had said them,”

It was easy to say that Sebek had never been this honest with you before, and now he was looking at you with another expression you’d never seen on him, and you didn’t know how to describe it nor how it made you feel. But you could tell this was your time to speak.

“You know I didn’t mean what I said, right? I like it when you talk, I like watching you get passionate and excited, and I like how you’re not afraid to express how you feel. Even to me, even after I hurt you,”.

He’s shocked by that apparently, like he didn’t expect you to say anything even remotely close to what you just said.

And then he quickly turns his head away and coughs into his hand, and after a moment of- what you assume- is him trying to collect himself, he looks at you again, and you can tell from the look in his eyes that everything between the two of you had been resolved. Even if it would take some time to get back to normal with him.

“...Thank you, [ ___ ]”