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#and i don't know if they'd be like. mad about it
erwinsvow · 2 days
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hii shea idk if someone has already made this type of request if that's the case please ignore me but i can't stop thinking about shy!reader absolutely cock drunk asking for the first time rafe to fuck her raw and the question caught him so off guard that he felt feral and dizzy, his composure slipping away just wanting to please his sweet girl<3
hi baby omg no i don't have any reqs like this here it is hope i did it justice <33
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rafe was teasing you today.
after more than an hour of back and forth at whatever party you two had gone to for the evening—and only because rafe wanted to sell and your friends had already promised they'd be there—you were more than ready to go home.
except rafe hadn't taken you home yet. instead you'd been all around the house—on rafe's lap in the living room to start. leaning in to your boyfriend's ear, you know he can tell how desperate you're getting.
you don't do well with denial anymore—rafe had spoiled you too much for that.
"can't we go now?" the words are whispered to rafe, and you rest your head on his shoulder, blinking up at him while you wait for a response. one of his hands leaves the armstand of the sofa and grips your exposed thigh, skirt riding up a little too much.
"it's early. hold out a little longer. can you do that for me?"
you think your eyes are going to roll all the way back. the answer is yes, of course, you can do that for him. you would do anything for him. you just don't want.
following that, you accompanied rafe to the other side of the house where a whole swarm of people were chasing their next high. though you should really stand next to him, you just can't find it in you today, instead staying his back, peering out every now and then like shy children do.
it's all worth it, because moments later rafe takes you upstairs, murmuring something about how you're being a good girl for holding out. there's an empty bedroom that you think is the perfect place to spend the next hour.
rafe's talking to you—though you're so deliriously horny you can't really hear him. you nod and stare up, agreeing to whatever your boyfriend wants to do, just wishing he would hurry up and do something already, when the door opens.
you're not naked, though if they had barged in a few minutes later, you might have been. and normally you think your face would be burning, that you might die of embarrassment at someone catching you like this.
instead you're just mad.
it's the owner of the house—which makes sense, since your boyfriend has brought you up to the master. he's got a girl of his own on his arm, and you grind your teeth getting up with rafe, furious and impatient now.
"at least knock next time!" you yell when you shuffle through, ignoring splutters of it's my house!
you think rafe is going to ask you what you want to do next—but he doesn't. your boyfriend, like always, knows what you need before you can even know it sometimes. you follow rafe back to his truck, ready for, at the very least, some peace and quiet.
when you finally get up to rafe's room, the buzz of the party is wearing off a bit. your feet hurt from your heels and you can't believe you yelled at someone. lost in your own thoughts, you don't even process rafe sitting down next to you, until he takes your feet into his lap, undoing the strap of your shoes for you.
it's instant—one touch from him is enough to set your skin on fire.
"oh," you say, at the sudden realization you might finally be getting what you want. you stare at where rafe is holding your ankle in place, shoes on the ground now. "thank you."
"s'nothing, kid. get on the bed." eagerly, you comply.
in the vain hope that rafe was as impatient as you are—you thought he would just fuck you already. but it seems not, with the slow way he kisses up and down your neck, down to your tits and your stomach.
you find it a lot easier to ask him for things now—a new dress, dessert, money for your nails—but it seems impossible to ask him for this, so you opt for enjoying it and staying silent.
but even then—rafe always knows when something is wrong. you're practically vibrating from anticipation—you had wanted your boyfriend to fuck you hours ago on that stupid couch from that stupid house. it seems your body was only now realize how long you'd been clenching your thighs, biting your cheek and ignoring the tense knot in your stomach.
a few touches from rafe was enough to have you practically melting—staring up and still not saying anything.
"y'okay, kid?" he asks, and you really don't know how to answer. "s'okay. you're getting what you want."
you can do this. you're patient—you've always been patient.
"can you-please, just-" alright, maybe not. "can you please just fuck me raw, please, please, just fuck me-"
of course, rafe's not stupid. he could tell you've been on edge all night, he just hadn't known why. he stares down at you, all flushed, hot skin and heavy breaths, looking up at him. he knows whatever reaction he gives you will stay on your mind, and though he can try as hard as he wants, you are impossible to say no to.
"jesus. s'that really what you want?" you nod eagerly. "can't regret this later, baby. once we do that, it's-it's serious. what if i knock you up, huh?"
rafe watches you take in the words, facing twisting in understand.
"please knock me up."
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s2 episode 9 thoughts
whew! i had a busy day so it's nice to unwind with some scully and mulder time. although by the end of the episode i didn't feel very unwound tbh. it was still time spent with the babygirls, so i can't complain.
so we start with some volcano research. my only note here was "i know a geologist" which is true! shoutout to my one professor. you were chill but i hated that class.
there's a dead guy in the volcano which tbh doesn't seem too surprising... i mean volcanoes are very deadly. but it seems to be one of the dudes involved with the project so that's weird because why would he go down there?
there's this stream going on of the inside volcano and something is disrupting it... hate to see a streamer interrupted :(
then we had the title sequence but for some reason i was wondering, do you think if they got married they'd hyphenate their names... scully-mulder... mulder-scully... does it roll off the tongue? hmm...
so firewalker (the title of our episode) is a robot that goes into the volcano. noted.
here i wrote "holy fuck scully is beautiful". all she was doing was standing there but man.
the scientist who has come to them requesting help is like, this lead scientist named trepkos started this project, and scully says "i always heard he was brilliant", which raises the question: why is scully keeping up with volcano science? nerd
at this point the visiting scientist was explaining how he and trepkos had a professional breakup kinda thing and i'm very sorry for them but i genuinely could not take my eyes off of scully. hope they work it out or whatever. i have bigger priorities.
she wants to get out there and investigate but mulder says "i don't think it's a good idea for you to go" AUGHHH. i am wailing and tearing my shirt. she says that she's fine!!! really!!!
and he has this look on his face that says "i cannot tell this woman what to do, even after she just woke up from a coma, and i never will be able to" and he's very right in that regard
HELICOPTER TIME! mulder is such a gentleman helping her climb out
she has very messy hair at this point and the scientist seems a lot more concerned about his equipment than the fate of the people trapped inside the compound and she seems so thrown off by this
next we have some BIG ASS FLASHLIGHTS!!!! WOOHOO
at this point i made a note that i think i might have been going feral because mulder also looked SO good prowling around that creepy base. and i don't take back my observation but i will psychoanalyze it a bit later. reluctantly.
a creepy dude is hanging around the corner. OH SHOOT he tries to bash mulder's head in and he is MAD "do you always greet people this way?" LMAOOO he took it personally
the other scientists in the base seem to regard the missing trepkos as a threat... hmm...
i really like this jesse character, who is a student and is here to do some research with her advisor
mulder asks for the data on the research trepkos has been doing and she says he destroyed his field journals and computer discs. ahh, computer discs. my old friends. i used to have some games on discs when i was a kid. positive memories.
mulder sees scribbled in some of the notes trepkos didn't destroy that he had written about a "new life form" which honestly kinda happens a lot. like people are always discovering new life forms but the gag is they're beetles. everyday we find new species of beetle. they just won't stop coming. so i'm thinking, well they wanted this to be all dramatic, but statistically it's probably just a volcano beetle this guy found.
mulder and scully have an exchange and again i'm distracted by her freckles but she says he's being paranoid and i'm like. yeah that's kinda his whole deal. mulder being paranoid is like a fork spotted in the kitchen.
so the other scientist who was checking on his equipment was, at this point, killed by trepkos. with a rope. and we get the great closed captions "(neck cracks) (body thuds on ground)" which were very descriptive of the whole process
mulder and scully are having a science based argument on the probability of a silicon-based life form and it was really funny to me because it was a nerd off. and frankly i wouldn't go into a science debate with a doctor but mulder is going full steam ahead. it's getting heated and i'm like damn does this ever lead to them kissing because i can see it happening. anyway she's like no trepkos did not discover a silicon-based life form (spoiler alert: he did)
he's looking around like damn. i'm glad she's back but she's such a pain in my ass <3
scully goes to talk to jesse by knocking on her door and asking to chat and then not waiting for an answer and coming in because that is my girl!!!
jesse says trepkos stopped taking his pills that treat his bipolar disorder and he started being weird, saying they polluted his mind and that she was "polluting his body" which has... implications i prefer not to think about?
(why must we make erotic the bond between a student and their thesis advisor? there is no stronger connection! but. not in this way, tv writers, not in this way. i mean Maybe it wasn't meant that way but it seemed like it was)
mulder is streaming the descent into madness of trepkos because he recorded his ramblings which is probably what my friends on my private story think each time i post. but he's going on about finding a silicon-based life form.
this whole time one of the scientists has been very noticeably coughing and losing his voice and i knew it was gonna go somewhere but all of a sudden he collapses. and mulder yells for scully who is undergoing her shift to Doctor Mode. but we see his neck... pulsate? is that the best word to describe it? augh i don't want to even think about it so we'll leave it there
(jesse was also looking super suspicious but i liked her...)
anyway they put the sick guy on a stretcher and he's down and out until he isn't, and now he's making a RUN for it. he runs and runs and falls in a ditch until a THING takes over his body and explodes. i thought it was a worm at first and it was sososo gross i started sweating. i do not like body horror. the things i endure for these two.
so scully's doing some testing and she's like, yeah this is a silicon-based fungus. and poor jesse is having a nervous breakdown because she has been in this base for 8 months and she just wants to go HOME but now they have to quarantine and i felt so bad for her.
then i remembered the line about her "polluting his body" and things were adding up... and they were NOT looking good for her... no... i cannot do this...
scully's really worried about jesse which is justified because this poor girl is freaking out. but mulder is really worried about scully! he wants to go look for trepkos and he's making excuses why she shouldn't come and finally settles on the need to autopsy the body which he seems to both genuinely believe and also say to keep her back at the base
she knows he's being protective so she says "i'm here and i'm not going anywhere" which is sweet but girl you were in a coma. they had your gravestone made. you are lucky he has not put you in bubblewrap entirely. you can't blame the man for needing you to be safe!!!!
he says he's counting on her and grabs her shoulder with some heavily lingering eye contact that, when i see in gif form, i will surely slam the reblog button upon because. good lord.
jesse is talking to the other guy and he says something like "do what we said" and i'm thinking oh man, they're gonna try to get mulder (spoiler alert: they did not quite do that)
the guy is like "you need a guide to go get trepkos" and i'm even MORE suspicious but his reasoning kind of does make sense- it is a volcano maze, after all- still, when mulder goes with him i was tense
BUT THEN he immediately gets shot with a FLARE GUN? which i did NOT see coming. and trepkos emerges from the back of the volcano caves all burned and wild-looking.
he's covering the newly dead body with gasoline and mulder's asking why he's trying to kill him twice when we see the parasite wriggle in his neck (GAG) so then he shoots him with ANOTHER flare to burn up the evil creature. and he's explaining how if you're exposed to the parasite's spores you're gonna be sick...
and scully is back at the base with jesse... who was exposed... so she's not going to be safe...
and we see jesse in her room gagging and convulsing... oh man... it's not looking good....
trepkos is not letting mulder leave, but mulder does not give a fuck LMAO he says "you're gonna have to shoot me then" and goes to walk out... this man was really thinking "they are NOT gonna take scully from me again" and i know that is exactly right!!!!!
NOOOO the lights go off in the compound........... NOOOOO JESSE ATTACK.....
she's handcuffing her and scully together!!!!!! but scully was smart enough to get her behind a door really fast before jesse collapses and the fungus explodes...... but the handcuffs... was the door open a crack?? was it enough to get her infected???!?!?
mulder BURSTS in to see her handcuffed and she keeps repeating "i'm okay, i'm okay" but he must be so shocked because he asks "you alright?" and gently cups her face and at this point i wanted to do some powerful screaming to let out the things i was feeling
we see trepkos come in and look at jesse's body and he says that he told her how this experience would change her life... and i'm getting callbacks to when mulder told scully it would be a nice trip to the forest, but then the whole evil bugs thing happened in s1 ep20... and i am filled with a deep sadness...
so the duo has been sentenced to a month long quarantine, which i'm sure had to absolutely drive them wild. but i think my mutual wrote a fic on this subject so i just simply have no choice but to go read it now! and i assume that, since there are more seasons, the spores did not actually infect them
(and mulder, who was earlier suggesting time off for scully, must be some mix of terrified that any day now the symptoms will start showing and the end will be near, deeply satisfied that she has been forced into getting rest and healing like he wished, and regretting his words that she should take a break, because here she is taking a break. with him. and they're driving each other crazy)
we see trepkos hiking back into the volcano maze with jesse's body and it was actually really sad :(
overall a good episode, another one in the vein of s1 eps 8 and 20 where there is some sort of contagion and we must figure out from where it started and to whom it has gone... but the formula in these episodes keeps me on the edge of my seat and allows for a convergence of doctor scully and protective mulder, two things i am deeply invested in seeing. and seeing mulder try and keep her away from the case after her whole incident made me emo as hell!!!! he is never going to let her out of his sight again unless he has to go keep her safe by finding the wild man in the volcano!!!!!! and even that backfired!!!! ugh my heart!!!!! i love them so deeply!!!
rip my girl jesse i thought u were rad in the brief time we knew each other
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lgbtlunaverse · 2 days
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Just read your post about Nie Mingjue not understanding Jin Guangyao’s excuses not to throw Xue Yang out of the Jin window. I love your insight!!!
May I ask what, in your opinion, was Lan Xichen’s view on all this? Because he is the peacemaker, he seems to side with jgy always, but also can’t possibly know about the demonic cultivation…
(that’s the post, btw. Don’t know if you’ve made more than one) https://www.tumblr.com/lgbtlunaverse/744152124570697728?source=share
I'd argue that lan xichen doesn't really always side with jin guangyao, and related to this exact incident we can later hear him telling jin guangyao not to "provoke" Nie Mingjue anymore, while assuring him that things with da-ge are fine. He's a peacemaker, like you said. His ideal solution is getting everyone to just be nice to each other. And because Nie Mingjue is the one most outwardly angry, his first instinct in any fight is to get him to calm down so they can have a civil discussion or, even better, just drop the subject and pretend it never happened. Since jin guangyao is usually also eager to drop the subject, this means they end up agreeing. But it's more of a sign that their methods of conflict resolution are compatible than a sign that they always agree. (There are certainly times lxc genuinely agrees with jgy and disagrees with nmj! But i'd say it's not as universal as fandom makes it seem)
Indeed, since Xichen also doesn't know about the demonic cultivation, I kind of believe Xichen sort of agrees with Nie Mingjue that Jin Guangyao could get away with killing xue yang– he just thinks da-ge's way is the wrong way to go about asking that of him– because as far as xichen is concerned, jin guangyao actually was planning on killing Xue Yang!
Remember, after the fight, jgy tells nmj that he'll bring him xue yang's head. To Xichen, this is a satisfying solution, because it gets da-ge what he wants so he can calm down, which is always xichen's goal. If he believed doing this put jgy in serious danger, he might have objected a bit more. But he evidently thinks the risk is minor enough to be worth it for the ultimate sake of peace.
Him stopping nmj is about just that, making sure no one gets killed. And reminding nmj that jgy's family mistreats him, in that light, sounds less like an argument that he can't do it and more of a plea to give him more time to figure things out. (Again, Xichen is always eager to delay or avoid confrontation)
To Xichen, here's what happened: Jin Guangshan refuses to kill xue yang, nmj got really mad at a-yao over that, xichen de-escalated the situation, and a-yao promised to kill xue yang, he just needed time to do so. Yay! Solved! Except then da-ge died. (Yes, jgy killed him, and was never planning on killing xue yang, but xichen didn't know that) And xue yang was freed, but a-yao and he were busy grieving their oldest sworn brother! They kind of had other things going on! And then, some amount of months later, Jin Guangshan died, A-Yao became chief cultivator, and promptly killed xue yang! (He wasn't dead, but xichen didn't know that) Everything worked out in the end, it's only an unfortunate tragedy that da-ge died too soon to see that a-yao really was dedicated to him. 😔
We don't know what his exact reaction was before the nieyao stairs confrontation, but it was probably in the rough shape of xichen very politely asking jgy if he could at least try to convince his dad, and jgy saying he would but he wasn't sure if it'd work. That seems like something they'd do.
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camptw1nk · 11 months
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my roommates flight home has been canceled and i am not doing well
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thekittyokat · 1 month
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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suchawrathfullamb · 9 days
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Hugh always being like "um actually no :)" whenever ppl ask him about Will being autistic is so lol
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cerise-on-top · 3 months
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Hiya!!! I'm new and I really like your fics:)
Maybe a Hank, Deimos, and Sanford (separate) with a S/O who is a bit insecure about their weight or curves?
Hey there! Thank you, that's very kind of you! Here you go :-)
Hank, Sanford and Deimos with an Insecure!S/O
Hank: He’s probably one of the worst people to go to when you’re insecure about something, anything at all. If you have a problem with your weight, then just lose some, it’s not that hard. It would take some convincing on your behalf for him to even understand a little bit that it’s not that simple, that it takes time and dedication and is just a pain in general. It’s not that he doesn’t care, but he doesn’t really know how to show that he does. He doesn’t have a way with words, he’s not very cuddly either. But if he sees just how much your weight and your curves bother you, he’ll try a bit harder to cheer you up. Although his words may seem harsh, he means well when it comes to you. Besides, he can just pick you up still, he’s always benefitted from a naturally good physique, so I doubt he won’t be able to. Will sometimes pick you up to show you that it’s not that bad. He loves you, he just doesn’t know how to show it properly. While he won’t ever comment on your appearance, aside from you being cute, he’ll try to help you otherwise. If you ever mention to him how you feel unworthy of being loved, he’ll tell you that it really isn’t a big deal to him. Hank wouldn’t be with you if he didn’t love you beyond that. Might get annoyed if you’re too insecure too often, but he won’t let it out on you. At one point, he’ll likely tell you to shut up and tell you the reasons why he thinks you are beautiful. Again, he’s not very eloquent, but he tries. Anyone who dares to make a mean comment about you will wind up dead very quickly.
Sanford: He has a healthy layer of chub himself, but he’s not insecure about it in the slightest. However, if you show any signs of insecurity about anything, he’s probably the best person to go to. Sanford is a very understanding guy and would try his darndest to make you feel better. You’re gorgeous, you should know as much, but it’s okay if you’re not aware of that fact just yet, you’ll get there eventually. He’s not too eloquent either, but he’ll tell you just how beautiful you are. Your softness is something to be cherished in rough and harsh Nevada. Definitely not above picking you up, laying you down on the nearest soft surface and just holding you for the time being. His hand will be above your stomach so he can squeeze it every once in a while. It just feels nice to him. You’re warm, you’re soft, you’re safe and for once he doesn’t have to worry about getting killed by some no one. Will also use your tummy as the perfect pillow if he ever feels like it, all the while complimenting you on how cute you are and how comfortable he is in the moment. Doesn’t take too kindly to someone else being mean to you. In fact, he doesn’t take too kindly to you being mean to yourself either. If it’s someone else who is making you insecure, then they’ll either wind up dead or with a few broken bones. If you’re being a downer then he’ll cuddle you and nuzzle into you all the while listing all the things he loves about you. It’s his goal to either get you to smile again by the time he’s done, or maybe even hear you giggle a bit. You’re the most wonderful grunt in Nevada, he wants you to be doing well, mentally and physically.
Deimos: If you ever mention around him that you feel as though you’re not pretty enough due to being curvy, then he’ll tell you that that’s fucking bullshit. Not only do you have a lovely personality, you’re also smoking hot to him. That’s one of the reasons why Deimos ended up with you in the first place, you’re everything he was looking for. Since you’re always there for him whenever he needs it, he’ll do the same for you. Like Sanford, he’ll compliment you on your appearance. You’re sexy as fuck, you should be aware of that. You’re royalty, you should carry yourself as such and watch everyone around you go green with envy. Although he hugs you fairly often as it is, he’ll do so more often from now on, just so he can squeeze you in his arms and feel how soft you are. You’ve got the perfect body and Deimos couldn’t have asked for anyone better. Besides, food is scarce in Nevada, you being chubby just means that you’re eating well, another reason why all those other grunts should be jealous of you and worship you instead. Again, if someone ends up being rude towards you, then he’ll break their skull or shoot them. Deimos has his ways of making someone’s life a living hell and he’s not afraid to use them when it comes to you. He’ll hug you, he’ll cuddle you, he’ll compliment you in a vulgar way as well, but you really need to realise your worth. Although it’s hard for him to abstain from touching you, on some days he won’t give you a kiss until you’ve said something nice about your appearance, that’s just how it be then. However, once you’re being nicer to yourself, he’ll go back to his usual self and smother you in love.
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forcebookish · 11 days
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it's funny to me how many bl/gl fans will watch a series where one of them is a tsundere bully and get righteously angry about it like it's a bug not a feature
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hazeism · 9 months
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I also want to talk about Daneel's 5d gender : ) (ft. some misc Baley in Trantor considerations that aren't worth explaining here)
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Im thinking about gravity falls (making sprites of all the characters) and I was looking at manly dan and tyler cutebiker like 'who the hell do these guys remind me of' it's bowser and luigi. Full-on bowser and luigi.
#random thoughts#gravity falls#i like their little background relationship!!!#manly dan and his kids WOULD do a bowser and koopalings group costume.#for summerween#not because it's mario but because it's a group costume#that family fucking loves matching#when his kids were younger they'd give him the ds to beat a hard level in whatever game they're playing#but now that he's older he's. not very good at video games#cutebiker. i don't know what mario character he'd dress up as?#like the obvious choice is luigi (tall lanky moustache green hat vaguely middle-aged)#but i just feel like he's a green koopa kinda guy??? like in my heart#i like the idea of him getting scared and tucking himself into his shell :]#and of course manly dan chucking him at whatever monster of the week is going after his kids#mabel's mario full stop#dipper's toad. he gives off toad energy. he's very mad about it#the obvious choice for stan is wario but like . . . nabbit? like he was a cowboy but mabel scribbled on his bandana#soos would be some fucking obscure character and be sad whenever people don't recognize who he is#that of course ends with melody recognizing who he's dressed up as and they have a moment#either wart for the bit or prince haru so melody can be peach from the og mario movie#wendy is wendy mostly to make her dad happy.#candy and grenda are their own original mario brothers (orange and blue) with the first letters of their own names embroidered on their hats#sheriff blubs and deputy durland are daisy and luigi respectively involving at least one bridal carry#this all leads up to the discovery of like. actual mario power-ups btw. including wart being the villain and no one recognizing him#except for soos ofc#i dunno who ford would be. maybe some made-up mario character who only exists in another dimension?#either that or gender-swapped rosalina. in another universe rosalina is a prince.#i just really like the idea of ford in regal attire#or he's his own oc. he's a nerd
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bibiana112 · 5 months
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And for bad oversharing medical news the arrhythmia from december never went away but I thought maybe the throat infection was still there right so that could be a reason but then I went to a specialist and not only is it practically cured (just lingering a bit) but my lungs sound fine as well! which means! the shortness of breath is probably something wrong with the oxygen in the bloodstream and the slight chest tightness is also extremely worrying I could only make an appointment to get it checked next friday and that sounds like way too long
#I know it's morbid but the only thing I can think about is how fucking mad I am at my parents and how I wish I had someone else to take care#of my things and burial if I were to die#they don't know me#they would do everything against my wishes because they never cared to listen#and Especially I am mad at my dad cause when this started he was around and I was really scared and upset and nearly crying and I told him#that I was considering going to the hospital right there and then and then he didn't. fucking say anything or ask if I was okay#they'll never listen anything just registers as crazy fucking kid having a tantrum again let's give her space leave her out of sight#And I had to Yell at him to stop telling me not to go to the hospital the next day and I mean Yell and he still said they'd deny it#that I was making it up if I had just been on my fucking own I wouldn't have double guessed myself on it and gone to the wrong specialist#and wasted time and gotten to the point where it's not like debilitating pain but constantly aware that it's there and I can only like eat#heart healthy shit that I don't even like and wait and god I am so upset at them why so I have to be alone and yet still be so tied to them#why pretend to care when I've said time and time again they're still hurting me like nearly everytime we see each other#Okay nevermind I actually Need to distract myself now usually confronting feelings is my favorite#but my body is telling me that if I want to cry I have to deal with it physically feeling like there's a hole between my ribs so#I'll hold off on it#I'll be fine#god going to sleep has been the absolute worse#delete later
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katya-goncharov · 9 months
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i know that people seem to get really mad when you say that you wish you'd been born in a different time, but sometimes i really do think that the 21st century is such a shitty time to live in. it's not like there's a specific era in the past that i think was perfect and that i'd rather have been alive in. it's just that sometimes i think it would be nice if i could actually afford a place to live and basic necessities, and people still talked to each other and weren't just stuck on social media, and the government wasn't completely evil to a concerning level and gradually taking more and more rights away from marginalised people, and we actually had a future to be excited about that wasn't going to get fucked over by climate change
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feline-evil · 10 months
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Clasping my hands together in prayer and wishing The GamersTM weren't also fans of what i'm a fan of
#jay talkin#the pain of being a fan of a specific character who has so many things that The Gamers are Fucking stupid about#constant cinema-sins esque gotchas abt stuff that they think they r so smart for pointing out#when in fact they are being so facking dumb. do u know my pain as a kazuhira miller liker#everyday The Gamers do a 'gotcha' of 'oh he couldnt do that he's blind'#do we need to talk about how uncomfortable that is to hear parroted around#do we need to have a talk about the wide range of sight loss covered under the diagnosises that get you labelled Legally blind.#do we need to talk about the fact being blind does not always = total 100% sight loss.#do we need to talk about Being Normal about a disabled man for once in our miserable lives.#also you can't tell him what to do thats hellmaster fucking miller are you kidding me.#also had to bear witness to people callong him a weeb for being called Kazuhira....#my brother in christ how are you gonna act like you know shit abt what yr talking abt#when you don't know that kazuhira fuckin miller is a whole ass japanese man with a backstory#that involves the discrimination and xenophobia he faced as a man who looks like he does#a WEEB? A WEEB?? HES FROM. JAPAN.#oh no way the guy from japan has a japanese name? must be weeb shit guys bc our lil racist addled brains#cant understand that japan is a country outside of our commodification of it bc we r less smart than a bird#WHEEZE. SORRY. I GOT MAD AGAIN FOR A MOMENT. anyway.#GamersTM are insufferable and lack the media literacy to actually be metal gear fans so i wish they'd Go Away#putting metal gear but especially kazuhira miller up on a shelf till you guys can learn to behave
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I know NFenton is a more stoic leader who governs purely on logic than emotion, and can come off cold and uncaring as a result (but really does want what's best for the kingdom), but that was just mean of him not to have any pity or compassion for Gyro's plight to save his son even tho he insulted him (plus, it was also for the good of the kingdom that Gyro and Fenton required the king's blood for the cure). And you'd think when Mads got sick later, that would better help the king sympathize with what Gyro's going through (I was going to say 'especially when he thought Mads died', but then I remembered that when a loved one dies it's obviously kinda hard to think about anything else at the moment... but idk, maybe it occurred to him sometime later, following his happy ending with Mads?)
True, though, at that point the plague had spread all over Duckburg and NFenton had heard about people's sick loved ones all day for probably the last month at least. He can't care about every individual case when everything's out of control like that or the weight of that is gonna crush him (judging by the way Mads reacted though- immediately trying to help them out and going on a whole quest with them- I'd say he did get caught up in each case and was exhausted and miserable because he couldn't really help). Of course that doesn't mean he isn't trying to help or that he doesn't care- but he did mention in the snippet that he had heard a lot of ideas from people for what they could use as a cure, and I'm sure half of them are genuine and wouldn't work and the other half were people just looking for money (and also wouldn't work). At that point he was fed up and discouraged and just automatically turning most of the ideas down, leaving the search for a cure to Blue and the other witches/wizards working at the castle. The only reason he fully heard Gyro out was because Blue stepped in and said it might work, and because Gyro said he didn't want any money (which mostly rules out the possibility of Gyro scamming him because he doesn't get anything out of this). So NFenton's 'stoic logical coming off as uncaring' thing really does play into why he's so desensitized to the details of each individual case. He's doing it to save his mental health.
#thanks for the ask!#shychick-52#So yes I think once mads is better he could empathize with Gyro better?? but also he could empathize with half the kingdom better ssdlkfjsd#the plague is hella contagious and spreads through wizards the fastest#using your magic to dry your laundry out in your yard while your neighbor (who is sick) uses their magic to shut the front door behind them#congratulations you're dying now too#in Mads' case it was dramatic because he has so much magic#the more magic you have the faster it kills you#but like in Boyd's case it took a couple weeks and so I'm sure at first they didn't know it was the plague so#they weren't as careful as they should've been#so your neighbor using their magic to shut the front door while theyre sick isn't a good idea because they're going to kill other people bu#maybe they don't know they have it yet and just think it's a cough#witches usually just use magic to create spells and activate them so they can be more particular about when/where they do it#meanwhile wizards use magic all the time without thinking so. it gets them the fastest#Mads used his magic to fly them all back to the castle once Nfenton came to 'rescue' him from Gyro#I think that's what got him sick because if they'd flown over anyone who was sick then.... yeah.#blue is absolutey The Most Careful about magic because with their strength it would kill them in hours#fenton crackshell cabrera#nega fenton#nega fenton crackshell cabrera#negaverse fenton#negaverse fenton crackshell cabrera#madfen royalty au
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poptartmochi · 10 months
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unfathomable emotions after showering
also.. i hit tag limit on this, so watch out for a very long post if you hit read more on the tags! 😨
#it is frustrating that overall it is fine for customers to use retail/service employees like punching bags. this guy will have no#repercussions for cussing me out beyond the pre-existing frustration that his order isn't ready because it was placed after our deadline#it is frustrating that you can't really defend yourself because 1) it takes too much time and there's too much else to do.#better to let them have the upper hand in their minds 2) they can take anything you saw and spin it against you in a review#like... 😞 i couldn't even get a word in against this guy. honestly i think he was using me as a stress toy because his kid is getting in#trouble for not having uniforms. which really sucks‚ I understand and empathize with that! but to react in such a way is unacceptable#it's common sense that a mom and pop shop will not process your order until the next business day if you ordered outside of their business#hours. i had to explain the way this particular school's ordering system worked to this guy the last time he was in. i provided multiple#alternatives to contacting us that he never utilized. like.. he had the tools to understand everything and instead of using them he decided#to erupt. and because I'm the poor fuck that works the counter‚ i got to be on the receiving end of this. i should know better than to be#upset about it (the eelness talking. everyone else was mad when he left) but. it's also fair to not want to be cussed out over something as#small as school uniforms! 🤨#and don't even get me started on school uniforms.. yes my entire job rn is selling them BUT oh my god. i hate them. they shouldn't be a#thing. especially when these schools cost an arm and a leg in admission + then the uniforms easily cost another#*$100. the entire practice seems evil to me but also it's the family business so. 😭. the way these schools do it also undermines the entire#point of school uniforms which is. uniformity! 🤨 i feel like the minute differences in brand and so forth and so on give kids easy ways to#compare each other and potentially bully each other. the differences in what people provide Could be distracting! if your kid is the only#one wearing a plaid jumper while everyone else has khaki bottoms on‚ they're going to stand out!#so what pray tell is the point 😭 imo it's best to let kids have the freedom of self expression and show up to school however they'd like#in an appropriate way ofc. but i digress 😩 this business is just. deeply frustrating + as if the work itself was not overwhelming‚ the#parents have to throw tantrums about it... I'm so tired! 😭#and they insinuate you fuck around + or say you don't give a shit.. ma'am I've worked so much overtime this year + that's not even counting#the relentless shifts I've worked in my nightmares that occur every night. like.. literally the only thing i do is give a shit about your#order!! at the expense of my sleep and wellness lmao! I don't eat lunch and i barely hydrate because I'm constantly working#but it is thog mode.. thog don't care... 😑 it'd be funny if i didnt care either 🥴😐#to sum up a long rant ig i entered the shower feeling very depressed and I've left angry 🤯 but this is normal methinks#anyhow l + ratio + you work at your family's store + you work customer service + u trip over yourself when u talk etc etc etc 😑😑#one day i will blow that store up with every parent ever. it will be so funny 💖😐😩😑#sriracha.txt#negative cw
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sensitivegoblin · 1 year
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My sisters boyfriend is being a massive dick and I just have to sit by and watch her cry
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