#i am panicking but i cant fix anything so im struggling

[camptw1nk]

my roommates flight home has been canceled and i am not doing well

[notedchampagne]

Honestly i also think that a lot of the romanticization of Ianthe vs infantilization/fear mongering of harrowhark is also that like... We don't really get to see Ianthe suffer the nastier parts of shit mental health. Like, we know she cries to sleep, for like a line or two, but we're not pressed against her intimacies and the inside of her head (hehehe pun intended) like we are with harrow.

It's easy to infantilize Harrowhark because we get to see her struggling, we get to see the thought processes that lead to her lashing out, we get to see her suffering through. Well, basically everything, more than we see her putting on the dignity, and even when we do, we generally get to see the lead up, or we are with someone who responds in kind (thanks gideon).

With Ianthe we basically *only* get the facade, even when the Issues Are Blatant, and even if when she lashes out she does her utmost best to seem in control, much like harrow. The other characters do Not Give A Shit, so neither do we, as readers, feel naturally inclined to it.

Plus like. I might be reaching, but sometimes i feel like tlt fandom needs a character to be "pathetic", or to suffer, in order to... Idk how to word this bc englishs not my first language, but essentially pay penance? In the fandom I see a lot of people who feel Uncomfortable recalling their fave did bad shit, and like, needing to either justify it for themselves or others by going "oh look how she suffers", essentially infantilizing their characters so they don't have to acknowledge the worst edges, which is a choice, I guess. They not only do this with Harrowhark, but also with Gideon, Pyrrha, Mercymorn, etc.

They also do the opposite, by rejecting the possibility of suffering for characters they consider evil, most notably with John. It's not possible for them to be over their heads, or for them to have made a mistake. Either they were deliberately planning it, or they deserved it somehow, or their actions *later* meant they retroactively deserved it, and may be pointed as the cause for it happening.

Which is... Uncomfortable, to say the least, even if I'm only latine.

anyways. TDLR: People should just say they look really fucking cool dripping with blood and determined. At this point ill even take an I support women's wrongs/woman's right to murder or whatever

Sorry for going in a tangent on your askbox or of this doesnt make sense its like nearly two am and i cant sleep

this is very real and leans into what ive observed in fandom as well! tlt is a house party full of morally gray characters but i feel like when we are panicked to discuss someone being "evil" or otherwise the two closest avenues are infantilization/reduction (i can fix him, theyre pathetic they cant do anything right im protecting them) or full villainy (i like them Because theyre evil, irredeemable, they deserved it so i dont care)

hope you sleep soon

[tfyouthinkiam505]

really wish i could expose my ex to his stupid friend who was tryina tell me that im the problem and that i was the asshole

im not the one who sent a video of someone killing themself to someone who i knew was struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts, thinking it was funny

im not the one who flashed the other person multiple times without their consent and before we were anywhere near being a "thing"

im not the one who asked someone out and then proceeded to threaten to kms after being rejected because the other didnt want to be in a long distance relationship and didnt really feel that way about me, forcing them to agree and say theyll go out with me

and thats all just within the first MONTH of us even KNOWING eachother

im not the one who broke up with him while laughing

im not the one who, right after breaking up, went off n started fuckin someone else, who was a minor 4 years younger than me while im a grown ass adult

and dont even get me started on all the shit that i wasnt the one who did THROUGHOUT our 2 year long relationship

what did i do that was so much worse than what he did?

most my relationships before him were really abusive. so i lost my temper a few times when HED provoke me. i never hit him tho. just yelled. hes the one whos a body builder twice my size backing me into a corner while yelling and raising his fist at me like hes boutta hit me over some small shit

picked on him a little bit. picking on others is how i show my affection. cause being vulnerable wasnt a good thing to me after yknow. being in so many abusive relationships beforehand as well as all the neglect from my parents throughout my life. so its kinda just how i am

thats about it.

towards the end of our relationship when shit was getting real bad, i started losing feelings for him and gaining feelings for someone else. but its not like i acted on them n me n that person didnt even get together till like 3 months after my ex n i had broken up

the thought i was guilt tripping him when id have panics attacks over something that was wrong and confided in him over and for, in again, a panicked state, taking up his offers to help fix the problem

he offered to get me something that would help the situation

and if i wasnt in the middle of a panic attack, i would have 100% declined and told him i was fine. i cant think straight when im panicking and i never asked him to help me. he offered of his own free will and me being in the wrong state of mind was reaching around frantically for anything i could get that would ease my anxiety

but ig all those things are awful and make me a terrible human being

otherwise all i did was give him gifts

gave him all my attention and free time

loved him

comforted him when he was sad or upset

held him when hed cry when he visited

even if it was after he was finished blowing up at me n making me fear for my life wonderin if he was gonna hurt me or not

i always did my best to be there fkr him with whatever he needed

so idk 🤷‍♂️

[venusdere]

Yandere Obito Hcs!

CW: yandere, manipulation, abuse, noncon, mind break, breeding, daddy kink, toxic relationships

Okay, so Obito would be extremely delusional. He’s already decided that you belong to him the second you showed him the kindness he’s gone so long without. After Rins death, he was convinced he could never love again, that no one could be as perfect as her. Then he meets you one faithful day. To be honest you vaguely reminded him of Rin, but a version of her that didn’t have the chance to exist.

He would stalk you for a bit of time, but ultimately decided to kidnap you for your safety. This cruel world took Rin away from him, he couldn’t allow it to take you too.

Oh boy, this man will manipulate the hell out of you for literally anything.

Obito knows that he can get the most attention from you by taking advantage of your kindness and empathy.

“You probably think im fucking hidious, aren’t you glad I wear this mask? I bet you’re ashamed to call me your lover.”

“Why were you looking at that man? I’m not good enough for you huh? I already hate the way I look, you don’t have to remind me that i’m a monster by staring at other men.”

He’s not even THAT self-conscious about the way he looks, but boy does it tap into your empathy well.

He would keep you locked up for the majority of the time. He doesn’t want the world to take away the only thing he considers precious, can’t you see that this is for you? You’re safer in this cold, dark, basement than you would be anywhere else. Why can’t you accept it!

He would let you out on a few occasions to let you think you have more freedom than you do, maybe for a date on a special day, but don’t even think about running away! He would most likely keep you in Ame. In case you try to run away, Pein would alert him almost immediately and put you back where it’s safe.

He would convince you that everyone who has ever claimed to love you lied to you. They were all going to hurt you, none of them could appreciate your beauty like he can. Babydoll, why cant you see through their charades? None of them would do what he does for you, they would all leave you to the wolves the second they could.

He plays into your fears as well, do you have abandonment issues? He already noticed, and waits until stockholm syndrome sets in to really take advantage of any issues you have. “Maybe i’ll leave you alone here in this basement and never come back. You’d love to be rid of me wouldn’t you?”

NSFW

As soon as Obito kidnaps you, he’s already forcing his body on yours. There’s no reason to wait, he doesn’t bother trying to romance you since he just wants to keep you safe and alone. In fact, in his head he considers this romantic. Saving his little darling from the cruel world and keeping them away from any and all danger. It’s perfect! He can provide for you and in return you birth his children and let him fuck his pain away.

Of course, you didn’t see it this way at first. As soon as he had your back on the only bed in the room, you started crying and panicking. Obito has both of your arms pinned together over your head with one hand, but you still struggled to get out of his tight grip. You attempted to kick him over and over again with no avail.

“I’m doing this for us babydoll. Don’t worry, daddy’s gonna make sure you feel amazing in a little bit. Awe, you’re so excited you can’t even sit still!”

You whimpered as he cut off your clothes with a kunai, begging him to stop. Your pleas fell silent on his ears, and he quickly ripped off his own clothes.

He’s gentle in the beginning, letting you adjust to his massive size, but he quickly gets tired of not having you the way he wants and pounds into your pussy, well, his now.

He doesn’t stop fucking you after the first round, no. Why would he do that? This is the first time in so long that he’s had decent human-touch, why stop now? Why stop when he can keep on wrecking your soaking pussy with his hard cock?

He doesn’t stop until you have the most adorable fucked-out look on your face. You’re left a babbling mess with drool coming out of your mouth and cum seeping out of your cute, used cunny.

Whenever stockholm sets in, he practically has you wrapped around his fingers. You’d do anything for his attention now, you don’t have a choice anyway. It’s not like someone else would care for you. He’s all you’ll ever have and you feel disgusted when you crave his intimacy. It’s okay darling, that feeling goes away soon. You’ll be nothing but an obedient cumdump for him, and he can’t wait until that day happens.

On one particular day, he comes back home after several days of leaving you alone. He walks up to the bed and sees you naked and asleep, cuddled up next to a stuffed bunny he got you for your birthday. “God, she’s so fucking cute.” He thinks to himself. He gently wakes you up by kissing your face all over. Your eyes open and see his face, smiling down at you. You immediately smile and pull him into a hug, “Daddy you’re home! I missed you so much. I hate being alone, please don’t go again daddy, please.” you whispered the last part into his ear.

Obito grinned, content with your desperation and loyalty for him. How cruel is he? To leave his poor baby alone for so long? No. You deserve better.

“Baby, are you tired of being alone all of the time? Daddy can fix that.” He held you tightly, your warm, naked body against his felt like heaven. He lets go of your body and takes off his own clothes while you eagerly waited for him to finish.

Out of nowhere, he kisses you roughly and has you laying down for him. “I’m gonna cum in you so many times tonight, your body will have no choice but to get pregnant. You’ll never have to worry about being lonely anymore princess.” He growled against your ear, his hard cock aching to be inside of you.

[strangeradventuresofp]

scarred part 2(firelord!zuko x reader)

requested by : @yepthatsame​  -   Ahh I just read Scarred and it was so good! Do you think you do a part 2 where they meet again after years of his banishment? No worries if not!

A/N : thats such a good idea omg i cant believe i didnt think of it lmao but im so glad u enjoyed part 1 hopefully you enjoy this one too !!<3

part one

“All hail Fire Lord Zuko!” 

The boy you had loved and missed, for so many years suddenly emerged right in front of your eyes. You couldn’t believe it; too stunned to notice that everyone was clapping. Tears threatened to fall as you wondered if he would remember you if you appeared before him. He seemed so different than when he left. He wasn’t vulnerable anymore, it was obvious by the way he held himself; straight back, standing tall, shoulders broad. He was a completely different person; the new Fire Lord. You were happy for him, of course. All he had ever wanted to do was serve and do his country justice, and now he is. It was just such a shock to you that after leaving you to capture the avatar, they now stood side by side, smiling genuinely at each other. It was very confusing to you, and you found yourself crying as you looked up at him.

Panicking, you frantically looked for somewhere to hide as the two began walking down the stairs to greet their guests. Suddenly, and open door into the castle caught your eye, which you dashed into, luckily without being seen. You didn’t know whether you were going to try to speak to him, you didn’t have a clue if he even remembered you. 

“Can I help you?” You must have been thinking for a good while because eventually, a familiar yet very new voice called out to you. Frowning, you saw it was the Fire Lord, looking at you with confusion and concern. You tilted your head, not saying anything, just looking at him. He had more muscle than before, that was obvious. He had grown a lot taller. His hair was tied into a bun at the top of his head, instead of his signature ponytail, with baby hairs pulled out at his hairline. His eyes were a different shade of gold, they glistened and shone, even without the sunlight hitting him. You hadn’t seen his scar, and frankly, you never wanted to, but you really had no choice, frowning as you looked at it. “Um.. Are you okay?” 

His words sent your mind into an emotional frenzy, and you broke down as you recalled the day he left you, falling to your knees, tears flooding down your face, sobs thick with sorrow. It took Zuko by surprise, not exactly knowing how to help. He knelt beside you and gently placed his hand on your shoulder, to which you flinched away, looking up at him. His heart ached at the sight of your tear stained face; puffy eyes, red cheeks and swollen lips. However, it wasn’t until he looked closer at your broken eyes that he saw. He saw that they were the same broken eyes , the same teary eyes that pleaded him not to leave. Gasping, he pulled you into a hug. You grunted, struggling in his grip.

“Get off!” Your voice broke as you pushed him away from you. Zuko didn’t know what to do. He thought you would be happy to see him after all these years, but then again his abrupt exit left you shattered, and he could clearly see it.

“Y/N..”

“Don’t you dare.” You glared at him, flames in your eyes. He sighed in defeat and shut his mouth, looking at you, waiting for you to say something. When you didn’t, Zuko sighed and opened his mouth once again.

“Y/N, please. Just let me-”

“Stop it.” You spat, venom thick on your tongue. “You think you can just leave me, your best friend, for three years, come back with the avatar as Fire Lord and I’ll forgive you? You’re stupid, Zuko.” He breathed when you said his name, sadness glossing over his eyes. 

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, you’ll never understand.”

“Sorry doesn’t fix something like this.” Zuko dodged your gaze as you tried to lock your eyes with his. “I loved you. I loved you more than anything. I was there for you, through everything. And you left me, without a care in the world. Tch. Some Fire Lord.” The harsh words, and use of past tense, caused the boy to flinch, his brows knitting together in empathy.

“Y/N-”

“Stop saying my-”

“Can you just let me talk? Please?” You were hurting, and knew you deserved some sort of an explanation, so you allowed him to continue. “I’m sorry, Y/N. Truly. I can never, ever take back what I did. It breaks my heart knowing what I did to you. And I wish I could take it back. But, I just want you to know.. I never stopped thinking about you. I loved you a-and I still do. With all of my heart. I’m s-”

“Stop saying you’re sorry.”

“You’re why I changed my path. When I left, I thought my destiny was to capture the avatar and restore my honor, and come home, to you. To my family. But my Uncle got inside my head and I began to realize that you would hate me, if I enabled my father’s sick fantasy of superiority. So I had to do something about it. And that’s why I’m here, trying to make amends for what my family had done. I am so, so sorry, Y/N. And if you could ever find it in your heart to forgive me, I would be-” Zuko was cut off by you, pulling him into a tight hug. He sighed contently, happy to finally have you back in his arms, willingly. He stroked your hair as you sobbed against his chest. You felt safe in his embrace and gently leaned into him, smiling at his warmth.

“I never stopped loving you, Y/N.” Feeling too weak to say anything, you looked up to him and cupped his cheek in your small hand, smiling wider than you had before, tears staining your pretty face. Zuko leaned into your touch and smiled back at you, using his thumbs to delicately wipe the tears from your face. He pressed a light kiss to your temple before pulling you into a hug once again. You sniffled, before opening your mouth to speak.

“I forgive you, Zuko.”

“Thank you, Y/N.”

“Zuko?”

“Yes?”

“I never stopped loving you either.” Zuko smiled at your words, slowly leaning in before touching his lips with yours. You were both equally as happy to be back in each other’s arms. You loved each other, and you were finally together again. The Fire Lord finally felt like he was truly at home again, as did you, in his embrace.

“So... ‘Fire Lord Zuko’, huh?”

my masterlist (requests open!)

A/N : guys im SO SORRY i havent written for so long and i promise im getting to the other requests but it might take me a little while and im so so sorry but im suffering such bad writers block rn and ive been so busy the last few days too but anyway im so sorry this is short i hope u like it though and i also hope you have a fantastic day ilysm<3 xo p

[notsofine]

9.12.20

Therapy yesterday was hard. My mind was jumbled. So many things to think about, so many things I though about bringing up but didnt.

T says its hard to tell how Im going when I come in because quite often on the surface I appear to be doing okay. And I guess thats it - I am so good at splitting myself into different bits that the parts that are really struggling get pushed back because there is no space for them; I dont have the time nor energy to fall apart. Occasionally they bleed into each other but for the most part I manage the surface stuff.  And everything else gets shoved away, creating a constant state of background anxiety but one that I feel incapable of dealing with. 

DrE is away for the next 2 weeks but she said I can call the hospital triage if i need to. T asks me if I would. I look at her. Of course not. What am I going to say? Hello stranger on the phone, I am having an absolutely crap time and I am drowning here but I dont know what is wrong and I dont know how to fix it? How would they be able to help? They cant. T says they might not be able to fix anything but it is helpful for them to know how I am going, and often their solutions are short term, problem solving which might not seem like much but the focus is getting through the immediate crisis to make it feel just a tiny bit more bearable. I dont know. It makes sense but I still dont think i would call. Phone calls are too hard. 

We do some problem solving over things that are going on at the moment. Then I cant remember how it came about but somehow I suddenly told T that I cannot have this baby. As in, I havent prepared, I cannot prepare but I cannot birth this baby. DrE has mentioned that I do need to plan but I cant. 

We never really talked about my first birth. T asked me about it ages ago and I brushed over it. It was a blur. Lots of people. different people. Strange people. 

T asks if there was anything about my birth with E that I felt had been traumatic. I dont know. I tell her E was born healthy. There was some intervention but she was essentially healthy. I, on the other hand, panicked. And then something hits me out of nowhere. A feeling. Fear? The lights are suddenly too bright, things sound funny, I am having trouble focusing. This is something I was not expecting. I am trying my hardest to concentrate - T is saying that there is no need to go into detail, no need to work on this right now - but something to be mindful of and to also let the hospital know. I choke. i cant. nothing of it makes sense. 

she loses me somewhere there. I am drowning. I dont know what this feeling is or where it is coming from. 

Some grounding work. I can hear but my eyes will not open. My body wont listen to me. I can describe what I hear but cant get any further than that. She puts something in front of me to hold, to touch and describe. So i can let go of myself and focus on something else and finally come back to present. 

The session runs over. 

I feel bad.

I am on the waiting list for next week, and she will check in if I cant get an appointment. 

Even writing this now has tired me out. So much more to think about, so much more to process but I cannot. 

[spitandfroth]

Another Change

Morning,

Struggling to stay asleep while my partner is here. His snoring wakes me up all the time :( He can’t help it so i cant blame him and i feel guilty for constantly shoving him as he needs the rest more than me. 

Now what’s been going on? 

PIP & Money Worries

My pip reconsideration is ready to send in. It is comprehensive put it that way. I just hope i get my pip back as i am struggling on the money i am on. I can’t afford shopping even! I am relying on my family to buy me shopping and i keep having things break on me. I’ve had my mouse and keyboard break in the last 2 weeks plus i have run out of things like my clean & clear cleanser but i can’t justify the £3 for the bottle. It is utter shit not being able to even afford to replace my veg peeler! it’s £6 to replace it ffs but i am already overdrawn and my next payment is immediately used to pay bills with nothing left over. 

If for some reason you want to help me pay bills and buy some basics to make my life better then please paypal me at frannypagan@gmail.com i am grateful for anything you can afford. I feel so sad that i am having to beg but i literally don’t know where to turn to apart from online. Thank you in advance and i am honestly extremely grateful. 

Doctors Verdict

I had a good conversation with my doctor this week. I am now taking 500mg of Naproxen twice a day and my escitalopram has been increased to 20mg. I have also now been referred to rheumatology. 

We discussed some future changes too. She wants me to come off either tramadol or co codamol as the combination isn't the best and she thinks there is other things we can try. She wants me to come off propranolol, i am happy to try and come off that tbh and she wants to change the spironolactone for something else as its not used for facial hair any more and i need something better suited.

It seems she is on the ball and wanting to fix me as best she can. I will embrace changes but i will always be sceptical around my mental health meds though. She was questioning my risperidone but i know for a fact im crazy when i don't take that!

It’s hopefully the start of getting medically sorted. I just need to keep on top of it and make sure i ring regularly to keep her in the loop to how i am doing. I will say since taking the 20mg of escitalopram i have been struggling to sleep. Maybe related.

I Can’t Get High :( 

In the last month i have taken mushrooms and acid with little to no effect. we took 7g of cubensis and literally nothing happened. i stop my meds 2 days before so that shouldn't really affect it, it never did in the past. Everything prepped correctly and we’ve tried a could of methods including lemon tek. Acid i took a half and i got a bit of closed eye visual but were gone within an hour. I then took a full tab and got some nice body rushes and closed eye visuals but after 2 hours i was just tired and went to bed.

 I just don’t seem to suit psychedelics.

Next to try is MDMA. This is something i've taken before in my youth and i have high hopes as i loved the feeling of coming up. I am hoping my sister buys a gram we can share. I can’t afford coke and that's literally what's left that's available round here. Drug dealers are utter pants round this way. 

Might be getting some DMT though off a girl i traded some CBD with so fingers crossed for that but im not sure she realises how expensive DMT is. So might end up with a couple of tabs again. I’ll bosh those together this time! 

Periods

So last month i started my period again. First time in 6 years! It lasted 3 weeks :( I really don’t want my period again though. I don’t want kids, i don’t want my ovaries and womb at all, i want a hysterectomy. However, this is something i have yet to bring up with the doctor. I know for a fact she’ll want me to have a smear and i need my partner to shave my fanny for that, can’t do it on my own...

Anyway, this last week i have become tired all the time, hungry constantly, sad and not just a little bit, i feel like crying over everything and anything. I ache, i am moody and spotty :( I don’t want to spend 2 weeks feeling fat and tired, then 2 weeks bleeding. Fuck that! Guess i’ll have to go on the implant or injection. My worst nightmare is getting pregnant. I know what the decision will be, there is no deciding needing to be done. I WILL be getting a abortion. My body cannot take a pregnancy and mentally i could not cope with a child. I am far too selfish and my partner is too old to start a new family. It just isn’t what i want in life. 

So need to have another discussion with the doctor! 

Mood

Generally i am coasting but i get pangs of paranoia that i am not good enough for my partner and that hes bored of me. Like why would anyone want me, i am broken. What do i offer to the man i love with all my heart? All i have is love on the table. I barely do anything else. He worships me and does everything he can for me and i feel like i am giving nothing back. It’s hard. 

I get feelings of deep sadness and i will just cry for no real reason. A picture of a cat an set me off ffs. From that i they think about sad things like my nan not being here or the fact Tyson will one day leave me for rainbow bridge. I just worry about things that are not happening in a long time or things that have happened and i cannot change. 

I worry incessantly about my partner or me dying. I got a telling off for ringing my partner after 2 hours of him not replying to texts as i was panicking he had a accident or something terrible had happened. He was just having a nap and i knew this but anxiety took over. It’s so hard to explain to someone that anxiety just takes over and i can’t help doing things as if i don’t i become distraught with worry. 

So yeah mood is up and down, more down than up though. I am hoping the increase in escitalopram will even me out and mean i perk up a bit. 

So there it is, a write up of life as it stands really. Not covered everything of course as well i cant do that cause some of it is secret in my head. 

Just trying to stay positive as best i can. 

Love you xxx 

[bxstiae]

[ @wildshero​​​ / —–  PLOTS  ]   A C C E P T I N G !

plots please

im probably gonna go all over the place but lets go.

1. twil and wild’s first meeting though. like honestly? I would love to see that interaction. just wild messing around with the slate. and then?? suddenly??? a wild twilight appears? GOD. honestly though. i have my own headcanon about the sheikah slate and how it summons twilight. but honestly? i would also like to mess around with it too? like what are your thoughts about it? does wild summon him? or do you have other theories about it? honestly there are so many ways to bounce this around but still. I can imagine wild just being like ‘oh shit oh shit oh shit.’ and twilight is just a big ‘UUUUUGGGGHHHH.....’ but still. I’m sure that first interaction/meeting is definitely a crazy one for sure. and you know what? imagine the interactions after that too?? like. im not sure how you would take it. but i know twi would have mixed feelings with wild at first.

2. okay but.... twilight.... getting super PROTECTIVE with wild. like full on big brother/dad mode. be as a beast or as his normal/true forme. twilight just taking care of wild or genuinely looking out for him. no. he doesn’t baby him. but yea. he stays awake when wild is sleeping ( that whole, keep one eye open is literally what he does ). He watches out for wild in ways that kind of go a little unnoticed. He’s always looking out for his incarnation. really though. he treats him like a pack member. 

2B. speaking of pack member. i just want to say that wild may think he’s in charge and he’s the alpha. but naw. twilight is the alpha. well im pretty sure. they are both really stubborn. but really. twi has very much a lone wolf/alpha mentality so he WILL not submit to wild. you really cannot make him. aside from the few commands like sit/stay/etc. wild has absolutely no control over him. the more interactions he has with twi, the more he will realise that he is NOT in control. Twilight does tend to give in just a little though. because in the end, he just wants to make sure that wild is safe and okay. like after all. this is wild’s journey, not twilight’s. but that doesn’t mean that wild is in charge of twilight. Twi is his companion and a friend, but NOT a servant or soldier for wild.

3. *cracks knuckles* angst time babie. cause you know. i love me some angst. I am angst king. anyway. Twilight.... getting SEVERELY injured because wild.... got a bit too careless. so twilight like pushing wild out of the way or something... and like straight up ALMOST DYING. or even dying. lets do that too. and you know... since twilight has always been SUPER adamant of always keeping a fairy on hand, the fairy saves him. but STILL. definitely wounded to a point where like a simple healing potion is going to fix it. by the gods, the way twilight heals is NOT at all how wild heals. for twilight. it takes TIME. and this right here? is probably gonna take A LEAST a week. and a majority of the time? he’s probably unconscious. some other times? twilight waking up and only hurting himself more cause well if he did die and got brought back via fairy -- he still remembers his death. so yea. twilight panicking and freaking out. that’s fun right? and even when he’s healed.. its like. he’s very..... SLOW... and who knows. maybe he’s a little resentful towards wild. maybe. i mean after all. maybe wild didn’t listen to him. him not listening almost or DID cost him his life. wild never seems to listen. or wild just seems to tunnel vision cause ‘he just wants to do it right the second’ but by trying to do it right, he seems to forget. maybe wild hyperfocuses. idk. but whatever the reason.... that can cause a rift.

3B. twilight is bitter towards wild for a little bit. doesn’t talk to him. doesn’t look at him or his direction. straight up refuses to acknowledge him for the most part. like this is after he’s healed up. twilight doesn’t d anything with wild. doesn’t listen to him. doesn’t give him anything or any advise. doesn’t help him. he literally is doing NOTHING but following him around. maybe at some point he just vanishes. idk. well vanishes enough to not be in wild’s sight. but close enough to not be TOO far from the slate. even then. maybe he just... goes home. he straight up walks far enough away that he goes back to his own world. idk. but you know twilight is really fucking mad at wild. why? cause wild was careless. this has nothing to do with twilight getting hurt/dying. no. it was wild was careless. honestly this itself could be its own thing cause dkjsahd yea...

3C. okay but also... imma also suggest... what it.... wild somehow.... manages to use mipha’s grace.... to.... save/heal twilight somehow. like straight up... even to the pint where there is no sign of scarring. like idk how you hc it. but if like... it was something where part of mipha’s ghost was with wild so maybe she was guiding him. or if it was just the ability idk. but like?? still wild just getting some senses or idea to use the grace on twi just to save him. and it actually working??? granted. twi probably still gonna be knocked unconscious for a hot minute and you cant take away those memories so twilight is gonna remember the death. and he’ll have the phantom pains but still...

3D. okay but also.... twilight getting so severely injured that... he... mistakes wild for time. or sometimes forgets that he’s not at HIS home but he is in wild’s world. like not full on amnesia. but at the same time he doesn’t realise whats going on. he’s mixing memories up and forgetting other memories. so just him straight up having moment of panic or him reaching for the master sword cause he’s forgetting that it’s wild’s turn. like he’s forgetting stuff. him grabbing a bow and aiming the arrow at wild cause he STRAIGHT up forgets who wild is for a moment. cause well. he’s messed up and broken. he’s a broken hero. struggling with ptsd and sometimes reliving his past. i mean i can go on. and on. and on. about this cause. straight up. recovering from a bad injury like that is hard. but yea... anyway. i hope you like some of these. 

[video-killed-the-radio-host]

Heartbeats on the Airwaves chapter 5

As always, for @acealex-blueiguana

Cecil had to stay in the hospital for a week and a half, to make sure the wound healed properly and wasn’t infected. He slept a lot because the exhaustion of his job is finally catching up with his over worked body. Carlos spends a good chunk of his free time in Cecil’s room, making small talk, cuddling and exchanging small kisses.

They shared dinner most nights, unless Carlos got called away. Carlos managed to sneak away and picked up Chinese.  Now, Carlos sat cross legged and barefoot at the foot of Cecil’s bed, listening to Cecil go on about how much he hates his brother-in-law. Carlos smiles a little. This man was an absolute dork, but Carlos was completely smitten. He sets his chopsticks down in the container and then sets it aside, pulling Cecil’s feet into his lap, rubbing small counter-clockwise circles around the ankles. Which were quite boney.

“What are we going to do for our first date?” He asked randomly.

Cecil gives noise that was basically a purr and opens his eyes.

“Nothing to fancy. Because a good time isn’t based on how much money you spend.”

“I could cook for you.” Carlos suggests. “Since your birthday is next week.”

“How did you-oh god. Right there!” Cecil groans as Carlos presses his thumb into the arc of Cecil’s foot.

Carlos chuckles. “I read your chart. I also know you have a wheat allergy. And that your middle name is Gershwin.”

“Now hold on- “Cecil keens again, arching his back a little as Carlos begins to rub the lower part of Cecil’s left leg before switching to the right.

“Hm?”

“You know so much about me and I hardly know anything about you.”

“Well, my middle name is Fernando, my birthday May 20th and I’m allergic to cats. Which I assume you have because the first time we met you ran into me and then I was sneezing like crazy all day.”

Carlos smiles at the memory but Cecil’s face fell.

“Oh.”

“Hey. Don’t worry about it. I take Claritin. Because I can handle it and I would hate to stop seeing you, as we are now dating and all.”

“You’ll have to meet him sometime.”

“What if he hates me?”

“Then it’s not going to work out. I can’t date anyone my cat doesn’t trust.”

Carlos nods. “I can respect that. I hope I’ll make a good impression.”

“I’m sure he’ll love you as much as I do.” Cecil muses before his eyes go wide and one hand clapped over his mouth. “Shit. Sorry. I know it’s still way early and- “He kind of shrinks back a little.

Carlos reaches out, a tad concerned. “Cecil? Are you okay?” He asked softly.

Cecil nods quickly. “I’m alright. Just lost control of my mouth for a moment is all.”

Carlos reaches out and takes his hand, giving a careful and gentle squeeze.

“You meant it?”

Cecil looks up at him. “I do.”

“That’s good. Because I love you too.”

Cecil's mouth dropped open and he was stunned silent. Carlos chuckles again and shifts to his knees, leaning up to kiss Cecil’s lips. Cecil was speechless. Cecil “I talk for a living, so I don’t do shut up” Palmer was silent. It was a bit jarring.

“You’re adorable.” Carlos grins before sitting back down.

“You broke me.”

“I do apologize. But I am a doctor so I’m sure I can fix what I broke.”

“I do believe I’m entitled to compensation.” Cecil gives a small smile.

Carlos raises an eyebrow. “I’m sure we can work something out.”

Before Cecil could answer, Carlos kissed him once more and then kisses his forehead. “Are you wanting to do that interview?”

“I had completely forgotten about it.” Cecil admits. “But sure. Not like I have anything better to do at the moment.”

Carlos opens his mouth to retort but Cecil gives him a look and he shuts his mouth with a laugh.

“You need to behave Dr. Mendez.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about Mr. Palmer.”

“Mhm. Hand me my bag please?”

Carlos gets up and picks up the satchel that Dana had dropped off earlier. Its bag was covered in pins and patches ranging from pride to Star Trek. It was very Cecil. He hands it over and watches as Cecil opens it and digs through files and papers before pulling out a recorder.

“Here we are.” Cecil holds up the silver recorder triumphally.

“Anything else?” Carlos asked as he settles back down at the foot of the bed.

“Nope. Let’s begin.”

Cecil slipped into a professional personality easily, despite being in a hospital gown and hooked to multiple machines.

“I’m here with Mercy Eastern’s Chief of Surgery, Dr. Carlos Mendez. I’ve been told you have big news for the viewers?”

“I do.” Carlos smiles, seeming a bit nervous for some reason.

Cecil reaches over and takes his hand, giving a gentle squeeze.

“What is your news?”

“Originally the Crystal Storm Foundation was for teenage and single mothers to get help so they can get back on their feet, but as of February 13th, this Wednesday, we will be extending our reach to women who cannot conceive and working with surrogates to provide them with the family they cannot produce themselves. We believe everyone deserves a chance to be a family.”  The words seemed to be pouring out now.

Cecil couldn’t help the smile that spreads across his lips. He loved how passionate Carlos seemed when talking about helping others. His eyes light up and hold a love for people.

“We also will be helping children in the system to find forever homes. Everyone should have someone to love them.”

Cecil nods a little, his eyes starting to sting a little. Carlos stopped talking and reaches out for his hand.

“Cecil? Is something wrong?”

“No. No. Nothing is wrong. It’s just…. you are so amazing. I’m so lucky to have met you. I- “He pauses, reaching over to turn off the recorder before continuing. “Carlos, words usually come easily to me. That’s why I do what I do.” He pauses and looks away, only to have Carlos reach over and take his hand.

“But?”

Cecil looks back over. “But you make me speechless. I’m at a loss for words. I don’t know why. I’ve dated before. But this is different. You are different.”

Carlos gazes at him for a moment. “I’m…. I’m amazing because you make me want to be amazing. You have this way of making people want to be better. You inspire me with your raw passion and loyalty to your work.”

Cecil was openly crying now, and Carlos panicked.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry! I’m sorry!”

Cecil gives a watery laugh. “You.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you.”

“What about me?”

Cecil tugs on his hand. “Hold me. I’m tired.”

“Yes sir.” Carlos smiles a little and cleans off the bed before getting up.

-----.-----

The next week went by in a blur and before Carlos knew it, it was Cecil’s birthday.  He wasn’t sure what to get as a gift but suddenly, he just knew. He ran out and bought the supplies before hurrying home and getting to work.

The day passed by fairly quickly and soon it was six o’clock. He slides the lasagna into the oven and moved to answer the door. Cecil stands on the other side, wearing what he wore on the news that night, with his hair pulled back into an elegant braid. His glasses slipped down his narrow nose a little and Carlos smiles fondly.

“Hey beautiful. Happy Birthday.” Carlos steps back after pressing a chaste kiss to Cecil’s lips. Cecil follows him to the kitchen.

“I wasn’t sure if you drank red or white, so I brought both.” Cecil says as he sits down the paper bag he was carrying.

“I’m not to picky. Which do you prefer?”

“My favorite is Arbor Mist, the raspberry one but where I went didn’t have any, so I got Pinot Grigio and Rosé.”

“Oh, that’s too bad. I’m sure we can make do.” Carlos leans against the counter with an easy smile.

“I have been told I’m pretty easy to satisfy.” Cecil comments.

Carlos raises an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

Cecil’s eyes go wide, and his face, ears and neck flush a bright red as he struggles to answer. Carlos laughs.

“Yknow, you made that exact same face when we first met.”

“Please don’t bring that up. I have to deal with both Dana and Earl teasing me about it.” Cecil wines a little and buries his face in his hands.

Carlos crosses the kitchen pulls him close. “I’m sorry. I can’t help it. You have a cute blush.”

“You are annoying. You know that?” Cecil says, his voice muffled where he tucked his head into the crook of Carlos’ neck.

“You love it.”

“Yeah.” Cecil presses a kiss to Carlos’ neck. “I do.”

Before Carlos could answer, his pager went off in the living room. He tightens his hold on Cecil with a groan. He wasn’t on call tonight!

“Do you need to go?” Cecil asked, pulling away a little.

“I can have someone else get it.”

“What if they need you?”

Carlos rubs a hand over his face. He knew Cecil was right, but he didn’t want to leave. Cecil takes his hand.

“Hey. It’s okay. Go.”

“But- “

“I’m used to spending my birthday alone. We can reschedule.”

The words made Carlos’ heart hurt.

“You have lives to save.”

Carlos nods. “I know.” He kisses the center of Cecil’s palm. “Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Be safe.”

“I will.” Carlos promises, turning the oven off and taking the pan out. “You can eat if you want. It’s wheat free.” He says, kissing him once more before moving into the bedroom to put his shoes on.

 Carlos finally gets home around eleven to find Cecil asleep on the couch with Stark Trek: The Next Generation playing quietly in the background. Half a glass of Rosé sits on the coffee table but both the lasagna and the cake are untouched. Cecil’s purple glasses sat crooked on his face and his clothes were rumpled enough for Carlos to assume that he’d been asleep for at least an hour. Carlos quietly sits down the bottle of Arbor Mist-raspberry of course- on the coffee table and kneels down beside the couch. He had to go to three different stores to find it, but he didn’t mind. He brushes back Cecil’s bangs and kisses his forehead. Cecil stirs a little before snapping awake and jerking upright.

“No!” He gasped, making Carlos fall back.

“Cecil?” He asked.

Cecil looked around before his eyes landed on Carlos and him visibly relaxed. “Oh. Carlos. You’re back.” He smiles.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Just a bad dream is all.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not tonight.” Cecil shudders. “What time is it?”

“Eleven ten.” Carlos picks himself up off of the floor. “I know it hasn’t been the best birthday, but we still have fifty minutes we can salvage.”

“Sorry I fell asleep. I wanted to wait up for you.”

“I don’t mind. It was a cute sight to come home to. I got you something.” Carlos says, handing over the bottle.

“Where did you find this?!? Everyone is sold out!”

“I just got lucky I guess.”

The truth was that he drove two towns over to find it, but Cecil didn’t need to know that.

“Thank you.”

“There’s one more thing.”

“Oh?”

“Wait here.” Carlos instructs, going to his room and getting the box and returning to the couch.

Cecil takes it with a curious expression and opens the box. Nestled in silver tissue paper is the vest that Carlos had ripped when Cecil had gotten shot. It was cleaned and repaired, with a red flannel heart sewn onto the left side, over his heart.

“One of the holes was to big to fix so I improvised with one of my own shirts.” Carlos admits, rubbing the back of his head.

Cecil looks at him, a gentle expression on his face. “I love it.”

Carlos kissed him once. “Happy Birthday Dearheart.”

```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

CECIL’S CAKE RECIPE!!!

Okay so I’m from the south and the best damn cake ever is called a hummingbird cake. It’s been in my family for literally forever. And now y’all have the recipe.

3 cups all-purpose flour

2 cups sugar

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

3 large eggs, beaten

11/2 cups vegetable oil

vanilla extract(as much as you feel is right)

1 (8-ounce) can crushed pineapple, undrained

2 cups chopped bananas

1 cup chopped pecans

Shortening

Cream cheese frosting

1/2 cup chopped pecans

How to Make It

Step 1

Preheat oven to 350°. Whisk together flour and next 4 ingredients in a large bowl; add eggs and oil, stirring just until dry ingredients are moistened. Stir in vanilla, pineapple, bananas, and 1 cup chopped toasted pecans. Spoon batter into 3 well-greased (with shortening) and floured 9-inch round cake pans.

Step 2

Bake at 350° for 25-30 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted in center comes our clean. Cool cake layers in pans on wire racks 10 minutes; remove from pans to wire racks, and cool completely (about 1 hour).

Step 3

Place 1 cake layer on a serving platter. Spread 1 cup Cream Cheese Frosting over cake layer. Top with second layer, and spread 1 cup frosting over cake layer. Top with third cake layer, and spread top and sides of cake with remaining frosting and pecans.

I also like to mix coconut into the frosting

frosting is optional and the pineapple can be substituted with cherries

[nervousgestures-blog]

My Parents Suck

I’m not good at introductions, so I’m just going to dive right in. I’m 24 years old (as of writing this) and throughout my adolescence I was told these feelings would fade. The ones where I felt my parents were worlds away from understanding me. The fear that my parents would never see me for who I really am. Every outburst made me feel insane, panicked, frustrated, but I was just a teen filled with angst. I would grow out of it. But I didn’t. Because the real problem was that my parents didn’t understand. I don’t know if they just lacked the ability or they just refused to acknowledge it, but I was struggling in a very real way with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. It was reaching adulthood that really shook me awake. I began to realize that my parents had me backwards. My mother insisted that I was being rebellious, difficult, deceitful, etc. She insisted that I was attempting to turn her family against her and that I was being influenced by “trashy” people, aka, my friends. My father played a different tune, saying I was way too good to have mental illness. He portrayed it as weakness and would praise me if I rejected medicine or other treatment. Instead of making me the problem, he villainized the world. So, I became a person who hated myself and everyone else, which sucked because I have come to know that I love a lot of things. I don’t totally blame my parents for not knowing a lot about mental illness, but I do blame them for not listening to me. For insisting that my feelings were something I would grow out of and eventually thank them for giving me such a hard time. See, here’s the thing. More often than not, parents tell kids that they love them, that they want the best for them, and that they will protect them. But here’s the other thing. Some parents suck. They are selfish. And they will lie to you because they need to be in control. They will ignore you because you are a dumb kid and they are a smart parent. They will refuse to admit when they are wrong because they can’t. They can’t say sorry and they can’t see your side. That’s what happened to me. My parents are divorced, so this created two different lives for me. My mom bullied me into thinking I was the problem, but she told me it was to protect me and make sure I knew how to behave. She pointed to people as examples or she would convince me that people were bad. Now, as an adult, those people are the ones who take the time to tell me that I’m loved and cared about. Those are the people who show me the most kindness. The ones my mother showed her best to were the ones who bullied me. I’ll cover some specifics another time. I tried very hard to emulate those people so my mother would show me that kind of love and support, but to no avail. For now, I’ve just resigned to cry a lot and try to convince myself that who I am is good enough, even if it’s not good enough for her. My dad was, and is, a child. Stunted from complex emotions. He throws tantrums, wastes, is super lazy, and rejects anything he can’t understand. He’s very silly and easy to talk to. He will try very hard to win your approval and make you comfortable, but it’s all very surface level. He has a lot of unresolved trauma and it forces him to ignore anything deeper. If he’s angry, he can’t focus on the real problems. He has to only focus on the feeling. He’s angry. You made him angry. You’re terrible. You’re a bad person for making him angry. He will be angry until you fix it and make him happy again. But now, we’ve learned, for the most part, that he can be ignored. So we do. And he’s mostly powerless. Because we know that we can’t fix what’s wrong with his mind. He has to admit he has a problem and seek help. My coping mechanisms aren’t perfect and sometimes they’re honestly far from healthy. I still need a therapist to work on that with me, but I wanted to write this to get this idea out there. That just because your parents have a love for you, it can be a selfish love. It can be a toxic love. And that’s the hard truth that I had to learn. I’ll write sometime about what helped me realize those things, too. My parents aren’t all bad. They’ve been exactly what I needed at one point or another, but that doesn’t mean I have to endure them. It’s okay to keep them at a distance. It’s not because I’m immature. I won’t wake up one day and realize that my mom is my best friend. I won’t turn 40 and realize my dad was right about my sister being a slut. It just won’t happen. Because they really were wrong. And I was slowly but surely waking up from years of conditioning and manipulation.

[jasminerobotnik]

Fradulant Gain Chapter 3

Jasmine wakes up to discover that is was 2:45 p.m. Thrusting her head back onto her groaning in disbelief. A sudden urge for water crept up in her throat. Jasmine crawls out of her bed walking zombie like towards her bathroom and fixes herself a quick glass of tap water. It tasted nasty but it fulfilled her thirst. Now that she is somewhat more awake she remembered that she was locked up in her room. She thought that surely he would of unlocked it by now.

 Curiously Jasmine tested the knob to only discover that it’s still stiff it wont open up.

That ass-wipe he forgot to unlock the door! OH he is going to hear it.

Jasmine strolled over to the window opened it as gust of wind brushed gently against her face. Taking a peek  down below she judges with herself if weather or not she would be able to make the jumps down ok. Or if to jump down at all. It is a three story drop. She could easily slip n fall, and get seriously hurt or killed. Studying the windows after a little bit longer, Jasmine noticed that the window sills were large and sturdy enough for her to jump on.Jasmine began to crawl out of her window. About half way out her heart began to race. Taking a deep breath she drops down dangling on to her window sill for a few  moments  before dropping down to the next window sill.

Heh this is not so bad, just gotta watch what i am doing.

Jasmine continued down two more times. Eventually reaching the ground. Feeling victorius of her escape she stepped backwards only to be reminded that she was barefoot when a sharp pain shot through her foot making her have a bouncing fit.

            Ow, ow fuck, shit that hurt.

Regaining her balance and feeling embarrassed of herself she makes her way to the front entrance of the base. The doors open automatically at her approach letting her continue her journey back inside. Jasmine still ticked at Eggman  she wanted to find him as soon as she could and tell him that he had forgotten her. Then she thought to herself

maybe he fell asleep and just forgot? He does tend to fall asleep when he works late.  

Continuing her stroll down to his work station she first notices that the lighting was a bit dimmer than usual. Almost like what you would see in a haunted house attraction.

            Maybe he is trying to save on the electric bill it has been going up for the past few months now, its about time he took my advice.

As she was walking down the halls she could her her every foot step echo which made her realize how creepily quite the place was. Eventually arriving at Eggman’s lab she knocks and opens the door. Eggman’s back was facing towards her, he stops working and sits up straight in a panic as if Sonic walked in.

“ Is that you Jazzy?” he said in a panic

Jasmine wondered why Eggman was being so jumpy even if it was Sonic he wouldn't jump like that normally.

“ yes, and you left me locked in my room! ” Jasmine replied sternly as she crosses her arms.

Eggman getting up from his chair walks over to Jasmine and caresses her face, Enjoying the strokes which caused her to blush looks up at Eggman.

“ My apologies my dear, I was so busy I completely forgot. But i must ask. How did you get out?”

Jasmine places her hand on Eggman’s hand which was placed on her cheek

“ I.. I climbed out the window” she replied

Eggman breaks the bond  as he looks in the opposite direction in disbelief,

“ You climbed out the window? That's like 4 stories high, you do realize that you could of fallen and gotten yourself killed?!”

Jasmine stood there dumbfounded by his words, she knew he cared about her,but he had never over reacted like this. He usually tells her to be careful next time she does it. Has Eggman developed deep feelings for her now?

“ I know that Ivo but, I was mad that you left me locked up in my room.”

Eggman turns to face her once again, and his face looked downhearted, he holds her tiny hands.

“ I understand that dear, and I am deeply sorry for that.”

Jasmine gives him a hug and buries her face in his chest. Eggman wraps his arms around her tiny body, and then begins to pet her hair.

“ Don't be upset Eggy, I hate it when your unhappy”  

Despite Jasmine’s face being muffled he could still understand her. Eggman picks her up and holds her like a newly wed bride, Jasmine was surprised by it as she grabs on for dear life. Effman carries her back to his chair and sits down with her in his lap and continues to fondle with  her hair. In that moment Jasmine felt like a cat being petted. Jasmine even wondered

If I had longer hair would he brush it?

Ether way Jasmine still enjoyed the petting of her head, it put her at ease even made her feel sleepy where she let out a long yawn. In which Eggman noticed and chuckled.

“ Now I think it’s time for us to go back to bed, don't you think?”

Jasmine looks up and smiles

“ Yes I agree, but you haven't been to sleep yet.”

Eggman gets up from his chair and places Jasmine back on her feet.

“Right you are, I haven't been asleep yet and it is about time I should”

Jasmine smiles and hugs him tightly one last time telling him to sleep well. and heads back to her own bedroom where she slept for the rest of the night, but the thought of Eggman’s changing behavior towards her lurked in the back of her mind, and it made her feel fuzzy inside. She did not want this feeling to go away ever. Lying in bed she had this urge to be near him all of a sudden; even wanting to kiss him. She laid awake with her little fantasy of kissing eggman for a while, eventually falling into slumber  until the next morning. Jasmine’s eyelids opened to the sight of red on her nightstand. Once regaining  sight she realizes that the red was from a vase of red roses that Eggman left for her, and a little note that read.     

Jasmine,

 I still feel bad for leaving you locked up in your room, so i got you these flowers. You like Roses right?

-Eggman.

Jasmine lets out a grin and her heart felt fuzzy inside once again. She leans over to smell the flowers, she didn't want to pull her nose away from it the aroma was just to nice.

He is just so sweet. If only others could see him like this.

Her attention to the roses was suddenly cut short when the alarms around the base began to blare.  Nearly jumping out of her skin, she heads for her bedroom door  and opens it wide open. Robots fly right by her and a explosion occurs nearby. She places her arms over her head. Once putting her arms down she looks down the hall and  see’s GUN agents heading her way,  she goes back into her room to prevent being seen, or worse captured. Listening for the footsteps they stop by her door and she hears a males voice

“ I saw somebody come through here!”

And another voice which was another male “ I did to. WHO EVER IS IN HERE OPEN UP THIS DOOR OR WE WILL OPEN IT FOR YOU!”

Jasmine panicked she only had seconds to think.  She peeks outside, but they are out there too. She opens the window hoping it will do some good.  And she stands right by where the door would open and waits. While her heart was pounding against her chest and holds her breath.

“ THAT’S IT WE ARE COMING IN!”

The door slams open with a loud bang. And it falls to the ground and 3 GUN soldiers rush inside. Running to the window that was Jasmine's only open window to get out and run. She dashes out and runs as fast as she could not looking back to see if they were following her. Jasmine knew needed to find Eggman fast but he could be anywhere.

“ THERE SHE IS!” a voice booms from the opposite side of her. Jasmine looks behind her. They are catching up to her

OH SHIT!

Running harder and harder away Jasmine can feel her breath getting short. She is not a good runner. Not wanting to be captured was her motivation to keep running for as long as she could.

She hears gunfire and she falls to the floor to avoid from being hit. Beginning to crawl two sets of arms grab ahold of her. And they roughly pull her upwards as Jasmine struggles to get loose.

“ Nice try bitch, you cant get away from us” said one of the agents

Jasmine continues to struggle, but the strength of the two men overpowered her.

“ I say we take her into HQ ask her a few questions about the Doctor. Im sure she knows a thing or two”

Jasmine looks at the man

“Im not telling you fuckers anything!”

The soldiers laugh hysterically and one of them yanks at her hair causing her to yelp in pain.

“ we will see about that, only one can handle so much pain until they break”

“ then I guess you will have to kill me, I will never talk” Jasmine replied

“ oooo what a tough one, are you really willing to give up your life for him? Women I swear… can’t think for themselves. Well kiss him goodbye you are coming with us.”

The soldiers being to drag her away holding a grip tight around her arms then suddenly

the sounds of gunfire boomed again and the two men fall to the ground and blood end up all over jasmine’s face and clothes. Jasmine shrieks as she looks at her hands and sees the two men dead on the floor.  Resting her hands down still in shock she sees one of Eggman’s robots had shot at the agents. Jasmine was relieved that she had been saved almost wanted to cry in joy, but the fight is not over yet.

   After regaining herself, Jasmine finally finds Eggman in his control room sending out forces to destroy any solder.

“ THERE YOU ARE! YOU’RE OK Good, I need you” Eggman exclaims as he keeps typing a million codes a second.  

“ these fools don’t know when to quit do they!”  He yelled in frustration

Jasmine steps out of the way to let Eggman work and watches the other monitors and notices that a team of GUN agents was heading into the Generator room.

“ IVO, they are in our Generators!”

Eggman swears under his breath and sends in a team of his own robots to eliminate the GUN agents.  And more gunfire was heard over the monitors, and screams as GUN agents get gunned down by Eggman’s robots one by one.  Jasmine didn't want to stand around and wait for the problem to resolve, she doesn't want to be one of those people who just waits.

“ Ivo is there anything I can do other than just stand here?

“ I just need you to keep an eye out for anything I should know about.”

Not turning around as he  keeps typing up code of commands in the computer.  Jasmine being a little disappointed that she couldn't go out and fight. Regardless she did what she was told without question. Everything seemed to be going smoothly for the most part. Eggman kept typing and swearing under his breath. Finally having enough he sends out the “big guns”.  A set of robots that was two stories high arose from the ground and began to fire at the Control center of the GUN army. Glass shatters everywhere and bullet holes appear all over there vehicles making them look like swiss cheese. And blood caked the ground and walls. This went on for a few minutes  more bodies and robots feel to the ground. Until they had enough and a voice shouted  Over the radio intercom,

“ ALL AGENTS RETREAT, I REPEAT ALL AGENTS RETREAT!”

Eggman still pissed off kept firing at them with rage which almost scared Jasmine to a degree,

“ YOU COME BACK AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS!”

All the agents retreated leaving their wounded and dead behind. Jasmine couldn't  believe that they would do such a thing to their own men. To think that the common folk relied on these people just made her feel sick inside.

  “They have no idea what they are missing. Ivo as their world leader would be flawless. One day they will know, or they won’t.” Jasmine thought to herself. Then turns to Eggman in curiosity wondering what he plans to do with the bodies. Eggman looked at her as if he already knew what she was going to ask

“im going to gather them up and i will drop them off at the G.U.Ns headquarters doorstep.”

Eggman turns to his computer and types in a command to prepare for clean up the mess, and to repair all the damages that happened during the battle. The damages were minor but not minor enough to where they could be ignored, and all passwords were changed. Jasmine just standing around decided to pull up a map. Eggman looks at her with one of his brows risen

“ Jazzy what are you up to?”

Jasmine chuckles a bit and replies without looking back at him

“ Im making myself useful im looking for one of the chaos emeralds”

Jasmine zooms in on the left side of the map to a small country. It was the map of Soleanna, the city of water. Jasmine smiled she loved visiting Soleanna, especially during the “ Festival of the Sun”  now she has a excuse to go there and it wasn't for some silly festival. Eggman interrupts her by turning off the monitor.

“ I already told you i have my robots looking for them already”

Jasmine gets a little tense and frustrated, she is sick and tired of just standing around and doing nothing

“ ok that’s it I HAD IT!  I am getting sick and tired of just standing around and doing nothing. You took away the one thing that made me feel useful here! I am going to get that damn chaos for you weather you like it or not!” Jasmine snapped at him. Eggman’s eyes gotten wide like you could see the whites at the edge of his glasses. And he takes a breath as if he wanted to say something snarky back at her. Jasmine waited for it she wanted him to say it, but it never came.

“ You know what your right. Its my fault you been doing nothing lately, i took away your one job. So you may go get this emerald as you wish”

Jasmine was shocked for what she heard. He made no excuses for why he was not letting her go, and best of all he’s letting her go. Jasmine looked back at Eggman and thanked him for letting her go.

“ No need to thank me my dear, besides I think going outside would do you some good after being cooped up inside for a few days.”

Eggman then walked over to Jasmine, took her hand and and started to pet it with his index finger.

“ now you be careful and check in every now and again. Got it?”

Jasmine nods and smiles in agreement

        “ I always do”

Chapter 2  https://jasminerobotnik.tumblr.com/post/168384508238/fraudulent-gain-chapter-2

chapter 3 coming soon.