#and i don't think i ever really addressed how bad it made me feel

[cloudcountry]

i love how i come back to twst post about how much i hate idia for a few days and then leave again it's such a cycle

[running-in-the-dark]

I just wrote all of this in the tags because I feel like my thoughts don't matter and I shouldn't make anyone read them but no, I'll write it in a post instead.

I just had a really fun realisation (that was sarcasm)

it doesn't matter what name I go by - as soon as I start associating a name with myself/identifying with it, it feels gross.

I thought it was because I associate my real name with mainly negative memories (and also because of gender stuff)

but no. even when it's something that only my friends call me, something that's only been used in a positive context. even when it's something silly like a username or tumblr url. as soon as it starts feeling like 'me' it's bad.

if I hear or read or think about any of those names/usernames, I feel nauseous. I feel afraid. I feel disgusting. the name doesn't matter because *I* am disgusting and bad.

so that's great. and I don't know what to do about it. guess I should write this down for my psychiatrist appointment (because if I don't I will forget but the problem won't go away)

no name no pronouns please pretend I do not exist 🙃

[nathaslosthershit]

The Truth Behind It All

Summary: Charles didn't cheat on his ex with his current gf, but due to not wanting to cause further issues with his ex, he can't really come out and give the true story.

The speculation had started to get out of hand. Suddenly, comment sections became bombarded with the most disgusting and hateful things she had ever heard. But Charles’ comment sections remained fine, as long as he didn’t post her. Sure, his pr team was most likely deleting anything on there that wasn’t positive, but compared to his girlfriend’s page, he still had tons and tons of love. 

She understood it, somewhat. She knew she would never support someone who cheated on their partner. But that isn’t what happened with her and Charles. After his unexpected break up with his ex following her own affair, he went out drinking that same night. Charles had always said it was a blessing that ‘his darling found him then’, when he was at his lowest, and had been his saving grace. There was no cheating on his part.

Charles hadn’t noticed the change in behavior coming from his girlfriend. He had been away for the weekend for some work related events. Her texts didn’t particularly seem off, but they were only words, it was easy to fake enthusiasm through messages. He should have checked in sooner given what he had seen on twitter.

The house was dark and quiet when Charles got back. It seemed to be unoccupied until he made it to their shared bedroom and saw his girlfriend under the covers. 16:00 was an unusual time to be asleep, but he soon realized she was awake as sniffles became audible in the once silent room. 

“Darling, what is wrong, huh? I thought you would be happier to see me” He teased, trying to get a feel for the situation. 

She didn’t respond. She didn’t even sit up.

“Honey? Come on, what is bothering you?” He cooed as he knelt by her side.

“As much as you say it, you aren’t stupid, Charles, you know what's wrong.” He finally got a good look at her tear stained eyes as she pulled the covers off slightly. He knew then should have checked in.

“They are just comments. Rude ones, I know, but simply comments. I have gotten bad ones before. It will all go away, honey, this isn’t the end of the world-”

“It feels that way.” She said as she sat up. “Charlie, do you see the comments I’m getting on instagram? The more comment sections I disable, the farther back people go. Someone was just commenting on my middle school graduation post that they hoped I was bullied. What kind of insane person does that?”

He hadn’t realized they had gotten that bad. Seeing how swollen her face was from crying, he felt tears threatening to fall himself. 

“I just want to be enough, Charles, but I don’t feel like I ever will be as long as you let the media dictate how you feel. I want you to love me because you love me, not because the media does. As much as it is unfair and as much as it sucks, you are a public figure. You aren’t just an athlete, you are a brand. You need to be in the spotlight and be loved by fans to sustain yourself long after you retire. You can’t have both me and your fanbase, they have made sure of that.”

“Honey, we can just go private. Make it seem like we broke up until they stop caring.”

“But we shouldn’t have to! I know you don't want to bash your ex but having people think that we were the ones cheating when it was her is unfair. Plus, you're not the one getting harassed, they act like this is only my fault.”

“It is unfair sweetheart, I understand that very much, but they will forget and move on.”

“They won’t Charles, so long as you are in the spotlight and attractive, people will love you and care about who you are dating. I-” She cut herself off from what she was about to say. She really didn’t want to say it.

“What, love?”

“I cannot continue like this. If we are going to be together, we can’t keep letting the public think what they currently do. Either address it or I am done.” With that she walked out of the room, rushing down the stairs to grab her keys and put on her shoes as she left a stunned and silent Charles still in the bedroom. 

—

Hours passed with no hint of when his girlfriend would be back. He left message after message until he decided to let her be for the time being. He got on a call with his PR team to assess what could be done but didn’t like the answer he got.

A tough conversation was waiting to be had and both of them knew it.

Finally, around midnight, he heard the front door open. Immediately standing from the couch, he walked over to hug her.

“I was so worried. I didn’t know when you'd be back.” He whispered into her hair as he rubbed her back.

“I know, Charles, I needed to clear my head, and I think you did too.” This was it. Both felt their stomachs sink as they sat down. Both were silent as they waited for the other person to speak up.

“I had a meeting with PR. Honey, they said there is nothing I could say that wouldn’t have large consequences. To talk about everything that happened after all this time would be petty, and defending you is wrong.” “It’s wrong? Defending me for something I didn’t do is wrong? God, Charles, do you even hear yourself? How are you letting your team call the shots and ruin our relationship like this?”

“I am not ruining our relationship, you are the one who is giving me an impossible choice. And that isn’t what I meant. It would just look bad-”

“Defending me from getting death threats wouldn’t look bad. You are being so stupid right now.”

“Don’t talk to me like that. Weren’t you the one earlier saying I wasn’t stupid? But now I am because I won’t let you call the shots on making decisions that would have large impacts on my career?”

“If defending your girlfriend is going to tank your career then what kind of fucking fans do you have, Charles? Clearly not ones you would want to keep around.” “Enough! I won’t talk about this anymore.”

“Then we are done. I won’t settle for continued harassment over something I didn’t do, and if you won’t defend me then I don’t know what I am even doing here.” Charles remained silent at that. What could he even say in this situation? In his mind, his hands were tied.

Oh how unfair it all was.

[vampiresbloodx]

Older!librarian!Wanda finally takes you out on a date after being too nervous and having that doubt that you don't actually even like her the way she thought you did, you two talk all the time whenever Wanda has a break on her shift, it's her favourite part of the day, just seeing you, smiling and laughing.

She was right about you being in college. It seems you're in your last year and still have no clue on what to do with your future. Wanda can see how much stress you're in with the finals coming up, it pains her to see you like this. She'd give you the whole universe if she could.

She doesn't know why she's so interested in you, these feelings are definitely not like anything she's already experienced. She was slightly confused herself, what she actually feels towards you, but what she does know is that it's love.

Wanda wants to hold you close to her, kiss you, make you happy, make you laugh, cry, and smile. She wants to see all of it. All of you. Every inch of you.

Maybe she's been reading too many romance books and sapphic fiction.

She just wants to wake up next to you, go to sleep with you every night.

And of course, there are other sinful things she wants to do that she finds herself thinking of when she's at work, in the shower, at home, it doesn't matter where, god, the sound of your voice, the way you look at her, ignites a flame inside her that she didn't know was even there.

Wanda grew up in a pretty Christian neighbourhood. It sucked. She was so used to tradition, how everything should be, not how she feels it should be.

Then you changed her mind on it all.

With one smile.

Wanda hasn't been on a date since.... Forever. Hell she doesn't even know who it was with. It probably was pretty bad then. She has been getting used to her phone so she can text you more and call you, just to hear you speak, when she asks you out, she was expecting a humiliating rejection, but when you smiled up at her, adorably so, you accepted.

"pick me up at 8?"

You said to her.

She nodded.

"see you then."

She watches you walk away, releasing a breath she didn't even know she was holding in.

Her hands were shaking, her heart hammering in her chest.

She felt like she was in highschool again.

Wanda had rushed home after her shift ended and she closed up the library for the night, she was panicking, unsure of what to wear and if she should bring wine or flowers, Wanda decided on both, and chocolate, but what if you were allergic? Dark chocolate. Or just roses.

She wore her best dress that made her feel young again, did her make up, and she felt good.

It was time to pick you up, she drove to your address that you had given her, it was a nice little apartment building she parked outside of and went to the door, pressing on the number of the button you told her to do.

"hello?"

There came your voice.

"hi, it's Wanda."

"oh hey! I'll be right down."

When she saw you, her mouth gaped open, her eyes widened, she felt so lucky, you looked gorgeous, you shy away from her gaze as she eyes you up and down, she steps closer, grabbing your hands as she kisses your knuckles.

A shiver went down your spine when you felt her lips, wanting to kiss her immediately.

"you look stunning."

Your cheeks burned.

"uh... Um, you look really beautiful too. Like really beautiful."

It was her turn to blush.

You chuckled, leaning in as you pressed a kiss to her cheek, her face practically turning red.

God you don't know what you're doing to her.

She took you out to a fancy restaurant, she saw your reaction and how surprised you looked, she chuckled, enjoying the way your eyes wondered all over the place.

"ms. Maximoff?" A guy at the counter greeted her, she nodded, smiling at him.

"your table is ready" he guided the two of you to a nice private era, with a candle lit.

Once he left you spoke up.

"damn, I was not expecting this. No one has ever taken me out to a restaurant!" You gushed.

She grinned, "how come? Anyone would feel lucky enough to show you off."

You bit down on your lip.

"keep flirting with me like that we won't even last till dinner."

She laughed, shaking her head.

-

The dinner went perfectly, and for a surprise, she took you back to the library, where you two first met, in that same spot.

"are we allowed to be here?" You asked in a whisper.

"hon, I practically run it."

"I know but what if we get caught!" You said, standing close to her.

"we won't" she says, unlocking the door.

You both entered as she locked the door from behind so no one else could get in, you two laughing as she brought you to the same spot she first saw you, you got quiet as you remembered it exactly, she smiled, caressing your cheek with her hand as she pressing her body against yours, your back hitting the book shelves.

"you look so pretty" she cooed, "god, I want to ruin you."

You whimpered, her eyes darkening at the sound as she leans in, kissing you on the lips, your hands coming up to wrap around her neck.

[homunculus-argument]

Have you ever had one of those things happen that just straight-up sound like something that'd only go down in a badly written sitcom?

This one time a few years ago, I had nothing to do in the middle of the day so I went out to wander around the city, and encountered one of those christian missionaries of some sort - not mormons, some local finnish-speaking one, probably Jehova's witnesses, I can't recall - who addressed me first. Having only gone out to kill time I figured I'd stop to see what he had to say, this might get interesting.

He started talking about sin, and I told him that I don't think that's real, humans aren't inherently bad creatures that need to be goaded into not doing evil by an outside force. Apparently taken back by my confidence about this, he asked me why I think so. And while I was absolutely not this eloquent about it while talking as I am typing it out now, I explained that if doing good didn't come naturally to people, it wouldn't feel good to do it. There's been studies about that - it makes people feel happy to help others, even when they gain nothing from it, or even at a cost to themselves sometimes.

Doing good things feels good for the same reason as eating, sleeping and having sex feel good - because we're supposed to do it. It doesn't matter to me why that is - either there's a god who made people with inherent goodness to them, or natural selection of the cold uncaring universe saw this behaviour as beneficial for survival. People want to be good to one-another just like migratory birds want to fly south for the winter.

He gave me his best annoyed "alright, fair enough"-shrug and was clearly trying to think of how to disagree with that when we were interrupted. I have no idea how a person that large and entirely indifferent to concepts like subtlety, stealth or an indoor voice even can sneak up on people, but we were both startled when someone I had briefly met appeared out of apparent nowhere, loudly going

HEY AREN'T YOU THAT TRANNY FROM THE PARK

addressing me. I used to go drinking at the park quite often back then, and while I did meet a lot of people that way and my memory is the first thing to disappear when I'm drunk, someone that loud, tall and broad-shouldered, covered in tattoos, with long hair, braided beard and electric blue eyeshadow isn't someone you easily forget. I was, indeed, the tranny from the park and I had been the person who had explained the concept of "nonbinary" to them.

My acquaintance here was somewhere between 30 and 50 and not exactly up to whatever the kids are doing these days, and their reaction to this information was roughly "oh huh so there's a name for the thing I'm doing". As they only spoke finnish, I can't say that I would have been the one to explain the concept of gender neutral pronouns to them, but they had been fascinated to discover that other languages have gendered pronouns in the first place.

Refreshing my memory of the encounter - and apparently unintentionally also recounting it to the missionary who was still silently standing with us - they proceeded to explain that they've never really felt like a man or a woman. And sometimes not really even like a human, but more like an alien who had just been dropped off here from a spaceship - but not like in a psychotic delusions sort of way, but just the vibes, you know? They then proceeded to tell us about some other fascinating epiphanies that they had had while on psychedelics.

As they went on, the christian missionary next to us was drifting backwards so slowly that I don't think I noticed him actually take an individual backwards step, just silently sliding gradually further away from this situation, with apparent mild concern. And while my happenstance acquaintance - whose name I either never heard or couldn't remember hearing - was talking, I noticed I had gotten a text message from a friend, who asked if I'm around and whether I want to come hang out.

So as the nonbinary giant self-appointed alien was finished with their story and took their leave - telling me that they'll probably see me around, and as I was around a lot, I reassured them that they would - I turned to the missionary and told him that while I'd love to carry on with what we were talking about, I actually have people to see now, and bid him good luck with whatever he was trying to do.

It's been like five years between that day and today, and during that time I moved to a different city and back here. I don't think I've seen the nonbinary giant again even once during this time, and wherever they are, I hope they're doing ok and no longer doing any weird drugs. Or if they are, that at least they're having fun.

[beelzeballing]

actually i dont think ive posted my thoughts on ofmd s2 overall here yet have i?

ok here goes: i think it had incredibly high highs, and at some parts i genuinely enjoyed it more than i did the first season, episode 6 being peak imo. however, it had equally abysmal lows with some glaring writing-, tone- and pacing issues that all came to a head in the finale.

i once read someone say that, if you ever feel like a finale ruined the whole story, maybe you should take another look at the story. there were most likely cracks and problems all along, and the finale did nothing besides dashing the hope that these would perhaps be addressed later. very rarely do genuinely well written stories go completely off the rails in the finale and ruin the whole thing.

i think this is applicable here in some ways, SPECIFICALLY in regards to edward. good god edward was a MESS this season, and it's so sad because i loved the starting point! the kraken era was absolutely terrifying and iconic as FUCK but... they shouldn't have leaned so hard into the drama and trauma of it all. don't get me wrong, i loved that it did. it's one of my favorite parts of the season and i'm so glad we got it. but if they wanted this arc to work with the overarching plot as they wrote it, they would've had to lighten up the tone here CONSIDERABLY. had they played the kraken era for comedy then sure! edward's bad youtuber apology would've been funny. his fast redemption would've been less jarring. the lack of consequences less disturbing. but as it stands in the show, this arc is too dark to function with the later episodes.

i feel like they wanted to have their cake and eat it too here. they wanted the gritty drama of ed coming off the hinges entirely but also didn't want to deal with the aftermath of such a heavy arc in their silly pirate romcom. be that due to time constraints and budget cuts or because they were simply unwilling to, doesn't really matter in the end. the result is the same either way: a very tonally messy season with some accidentally troubling implications regarding abuse.

and mentioning troubling implications regarding abuse; izzy. my poor, poor izzy... his arc was absolutely glorious. i liked izzy the second he showed up in s1 and i was absolutely EATING this season up in that regard. and i think in this case, they genuinely did fuck it all up in the finale with that one stupid choice:

choosing to kill izzy was the DUMBEST thing they couldve done here.

ive talked about this over and over and over again. ive reblogged so many meta posts. and still i am left absolutely flabbergasted by how stupid of a decision this was. the fridging, playing at the fallen woman trope, killing the beating heart of the season and the character who delivers what is essentially a thesis statement, killing off the character whose arc is about coming to terms with his disability, having him die in edward's arms, comforting him and apologizing after an entire season of finding community and love outside of edward, the absolutely godawful pacing of it all, the extremely easy and obvious solution of just having IZZY become the new captain of the revenge to mirror s1 and hammer home how much he has developed since then in one go... i could go on. and i have. it was a stupid writing decision, completely fucked the tone and pacing of the finale and took away attention and time from things that really would've deserved a better wrap up (lucius and black pete deserved better)

now. the whole prince ricky & zheng plot line... yeah that shit sucked ass, sorry. they bit off more than they could chew here. i honestly think those are the arc words of this season:

✨️ bit off more than they could chew ✨️

right off the bat: i think he was good as a concept. bringing in a foil for stede who just doesn't Get It as stede does could've made for very good comedy and drama (and to be fair there is some of that). but that shit got away from them extremely quickly. nothing about how he's implemented past his first episode works, and i think this is very specifically because he's mostly played as the comic relief in his debut episode. making this completely bumbling fool, who gets his nose hacked off on his first job, the main villain of your entire season is... definitely a choice. idk. he didn't work for me at all.

ok wow mentioning shit getting away from the writers. this definitely got away from me. this was supposed to be a short lil post. well. i guess tl;dr i loved this season but jesus christ there was a lot wrong with it. if you want to hear more thoughts. ask box is open. be my guest. i have more to say so even if you dont ask i might add more to this at some point but im tired and have work tmrw.

[elasticitymudflap]

god, okay. fuck. i hate to say that i really underatand where simon's coming from, like, with his misunderstanding of betty and their relationship. because, well, autism. he's obviously used to being alone and people thinking he's stupid and weird, and is just very passive in his approach to other people in general. i know that feeling. it's a barrier you build around yourself to get through a world that refuses to understand you, and by this point you're so used to getting burned from making social missteps that you eventually stop trying to vocalize your own feelings and desires, so you're perpetually waiting for the other person to make the first move so you can follow:

'this cool girl i met has read my work and is really into it, she's so smart and even sees things in it that i missed! and she really wants to come with me on this next expedition? oh wow, okay, great! i mean, she's so excited about it she basically dropped her own plans and invited herself along, so this is clearly something she really wants to do! who would i be to deny her that?'

'and wow is she ever great! on our expedition together she always knows how to handle obstacles, she doesn't even need my help! i really should be following her lead, she really knows what she's doing so much better than me! i'm so glad she wanted to be here and help me!'

'i can't believe we found the enchiridion together! but she doesn't want to come along with me and take credit for its discovery? even though she helped me out so much and is so incredible and i really really like her- wait!! i shouldn't say that last part!! that would be really weird!! i don't want to make things weird!! she had a good time, and since all of this was her choice i won't try to stop her or make her feel bad or do something she doesn't want to. best to keep it professional.'

'oh hey! she left a note for me in that book i was going to check out, god she's so funny-wait. oh my god, SHE thinks we had something special too??! she says she's going on that trip, but she wishes she could travel the world with me??! she even gave me her address so i can come find her??! okay, mesage received, I GOTTA GO TALK TO HER!!!'

'uh oh, i don't know what to say to her, i obviously said the wrong thing just now and she thinks i don't feel the same way. i know she feels embarassed about the letter. i'll tell her letter was great!! it was incredible!! i want her to know that i want exactly what she wants, and that i feel the same way about her, i'll even say it to her the same way she did!!'

all i'm saying is... from somebody of This specific perspective, i can totally see why he didn't question her not getting on the bus, dropping everything to come with him, and all of her other desicions she made in ooo:

'okay i'm FINALLY going to apologize to betty for how the crown made me scare her away 1000 years ago! wait, hang on, she seems really confused that i'm saying goodbye to her?'

'oh no, we're running out of time but she feels really bad about the fact that she left me!! no, it's okay!! i want you to know that love you, and i forgive you for leaving me!! please don't feel bad about it!!'

to him, betty is unquestionably strong, competent, capable, and confident in everything she does. if she didn't want to do something she simply wouldn't do it, much the same way that he knows she would move heaven and earth if she wanted to make something happen; and who would he be if he didn't give her the chance to let her try? he simply doesn't PERCIEVE her to be insecure, overly self sacrificing, and in need of him to be a lot less passive about her choices, the way that someone from the outside looking in obviously can.

autism4autism couple my FUCKING beloved.

[rosepascal]

Pedro Pascal Character Masterlist

Key

F - Fluff | A - Angst | S - Smut (Must be 18 or older to read/interact with)

oneshots

Trust Issues A F

how many times do i have to tell you you can trust me?

Long Long Night * S

"I'm not done with you." or big dick joel miller fucks you hard

NSFW Alphabet* S

Can't Break a Promise A F

of course the one patrol you're on without Joel is the one that lands you with a knife in your side.

Taken It Easy* S

“Don’t fucking stop, baby.” or you ride a cowboy (even if Joel says he ain't one)

Call My Name A F

Joel is bleeding out and he calls out for someone, but it's not you.

Put On a Brave Face A F

Joel Miller almost loses you the same way he lost his baby girl.

On His Time S

Joel isn't nice and to him you're just a willing cunt to fuck.

You Don't Belong A F

You really like Joel, more than you've ever liked someone before. But the most important person in his life absolutely hates your guts and you have no idea what to do.

I Have No Use For Rings Of Gold A F

The citizens of Jackson have already made their mind up about Joel Miller and the sins of his past. But you don't think the man who sits by the sheep can truly be that bad

A Wound That Never Heals A

For the last twenty years you believed your parents to be dead. But after stumbling upon Jackson with Joel and Ellie you come to discover that's not true at all.

Desire S

You need money and a offering your body for some mutual pleasure doesn't seem like a bad idea. If only you could know the man behind the wall who is set on ruining you for anyone else.

Crave S (Part of the Joel Miller Rated XXX series)

After the mysterious man you now know as Joel Miller leaves you his address and a message to find him, you do just that. How will the man who ruined you be in person?

Strangers ((NON CON/DUB CON WARNING (Part of the Joel Miller Rated XXX series)) S

an attractive man on a crowded train leads to an experience you've never thought you'd ever have

Venom A F

Joel says things he doesn't mean but he's might have pushed it too far this time.

Ups and Downs F

sat next to each other on a rollercoaster as strangers

Kiss and Tell ((Stepdad!Joel) (Part of the Joel Miller Rated XXX series)) S

Joel is your stepdad and your mom goes away for the weekend. Guess its back to normal for the two of you. Normal being fucking behind your mothers back.

beekeeping age F

Joel reads thirst tik tok comments

drabbles

my hero (pre!outbreak Joel) F

best medicine (pre!outbreak Joel) F

beating heart F

dance with me F

rained out F

bad first date F

nursing kink S

squirting S

Series

Joel Miller Rated XXX

A series of joel smut shots based on porn tropes

Say Something (complete) A F

Joel is overprotective to a fault and when he can't express how he feels you leave. But then he comes knocking on your door with a teenage girl and a plea for help. Is it too late to fix what you had before?

The Light Of All Lights (Teacher!Joel x Teacher!Reader) A F

Joel Miller is an AP English teacher on thin ice with administration and a past that has turned him into a cold, withdrawn man. You're the new English 1-2 teacher who didn't get off on the right foot with him. But being forced to work together could change things between the two of you as you learn more about him and about the school.

Bookstore Universe (Bookstore Owner!Joel x Single Mom!Reader)

Miller's Bookstore F

Who knew that taking your daughter to a story time at a local bookstore could lead to meeting its handsome and slightly intimidating owner.

oneshots

Bucket of Bolts F

The dad and the dog he didn't want but its Din Djarin and a BD unit.

Aliit ori’shya tal’din F

Aliit ori’shya tal’din: Family is more than blood

oneshots

You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home F

20 years ago you left your home town to pursue your dreams. Now you're back after your grandmother's passing and you're reunited with your old bestfriend Frankie Morales.

drabbles

sub!frankie S

franking feeling insecure F

frankie going down on you S

Other Pedro Characters

Headcanons

pedro characters getting their dick sucked S

how I think different pedro characters would eat pussy S

pedro characters when you don't feel well

[bomberqueen17]

letters

So in 1944 my grandpa got tuberculosis. It was bad enough that they sent him to a sanitarium up in the Adirondacks for a rest cure, which was what was recommended at the time. He'd been married to my grandmother for just a little while; they had a son, my uncle, and she was pregnant with my dad.

While he was there he wrote letters daily. He wrote a lot of letters, I think, to his parents and sister and friends. But the ones he sent to his wife, my grandma, she kept.

I don't know the chronology of it all, but after Grandma died, probably my dad found the packet of letters, as he was the one who went through her effects-- might have been his little sister, my aunt. Anyway the packet got circulated around, and then came back to my dad, who carefully organized all of the letters into a binder with individual plastic archival sleeves. Someone asked after them recently, and Mom found them and pulled them out. I was over there today, feeding her cat while she's on vacation, and so I leafed through them.

Grandpa's handwriting is similar, a bit, to my late father's, so I was able to read it reasonably easily. He started strong, the first letter he recounts how he fared in the rainstorm he'd apparently left home in, and then asks how Grandma fared.

How are you, my Baby? Did your schooner of sleep bear you safely thru the storm? If it didn't then you won't be reading this sorry excuse for a letter.

In that same letter he goes on to say,

Zounds! How can I create in this infernal bedlam? All the patients are up (as far as possible) and braying, the phone is ringing, Ma is delivering the Gettysburg Address + Pa is making more noise with a piece of wrapping paper than I could make with a hammer and a piece of steele [sic].

It rapidly escalates from there, and in a later letter he explains that the rest cure was so boring he had literally nothing to do, nothing to write home about, and so in an effort to keep from dwelling on how much he hated it there, he would write these flowery, possibly-repetitive love letters, because he simply had nothing else to talk about.

Your accounts of the marital woes of the [illegible, probably neighbors] are really hair-raising, but I don't think that the happiness of our marriage is due entirely to good fortune. As I have always said, we were made for each other a long, long time ago and our hearts refused to love anyone until the right one came along.

Looking at the postmarks, I realized they dated from right around the time of my father's birth, so I found the one that was sent the day after Dad was born, and it did not disappoint.

My beloved Words cannot express just how I feel this morning; I am all mixed up. You are so wonderful that sometimes I wonder what I ever did to deserve you. You are the one who is increasing our fortunes, for truly our children are the treasures that make us rich. You are so brave, so cool that I hold you in undying amazement. I am sure of one thing, My Darling; I know your sons will love you, not just because you are their mother, but for your own precious self, for the truly great woman you are. For the ordeal you have gone thru to bring these precious lives into being, rest assured of the eternal devotion of your menfolk. Last night all I could think of was you. I heard the night train coming into the station and my heart said "Run, run and catch the train before it is too late. Run to your loved ones and to hell with the results. Run, let nothing keep you from their sides." But my head said, "No, don't undo all that has been done. They also serve who stand and wait. Wait, and by so doing, prove your love to be more than the reckless love of youth, prove it to be the wise, guiding love that lives on long after passion has spent itself and thus spent, dies." And so I waited and the train left without me + my heart hated me for it.

Oh boy I cried, I sure did. (I had to look it up; "They also serve who only stand and wait" is from John Milton's Sonnet XIX.)

He always uses beloved or darling or somesuch as the salutation, but he often refers to her as Red within the text of the letters, because she had red hair. He occasionally made saucy references to their sex life, elsewhere in the letters. But mostly it's absolutely banger shit like this:

My thoughts and deeds, my smiles and tears, my happiness, my loneliness, my joy, my sorrow, my every breath, yea, even the final beat of my loving heart are poor blossoms placed on my altar of adoration, raised in humble gratitude to you.

Her name was Margaret, and I never knew her to have any nicknames, she just went by her name. Except to him, apparently. But as for him-- his government name was John, as was my father's, but my father never had to have a nickname, because there was never a day in his life Grandpa went by John. His name was Buddy, everyone called him Buddy, and he signed his letters as Buddy.

He died in January of 1978 of complications related to the damage to his lungs from the tuberculosis (not directly, but it was related). Grandma was standing in the hallway of the hospital, watching him sleep, waiting for him to wake up so he could meet my older sister, his third grandchild. He never did meet her.

She died in 2002 of congestive heart failure; I'd spent much of the preceding week with her and she'd spoken mostly of him.

[lixzey]

Letters.

The Tenth Letter.

warnings: mentions of depression

Timothée was about to open the tenth letter, when he heard the sound of pattering on the roof and the sound of thunder roaring in the distance. He chuckled, another rainy day in New York. 

Maybe it was instinct that he wanted to protect this girl—or maybe it was something else. Maybe he was falling? Maybe he was actually falling for this mysterious girl. Timothée sighed, before opening the tenth letter, dated July 31st.

Dear Timothée, 

It's raining.

It's the kind of rain that makes you think of flash floods and Noah's ark. The kind that makes you want to wear your fluffiest sweater and socks and crawl into bed under the sheets where it's warm and safe. It calms me, it makes me feel safe and sound. The way the lighting comes after the booming thunder, little kids would get scared—fearing that they'd get struck by lightning—but for me, it's relaxing. 

What about you? Are you scared of thunder?

Timothée chuckled. What are the odds of reading the letter in the same weather? The probability of it was impossible, but here he was, reading the letter while the rain poured outside. 

The chances of getting struck by lightning are one to a million. That's the sort of thing that you'd hear on the news and you'd thank God that it wasn't you, but at the same time you'd feel bad.

Kind of like depression, really. You'd never expect it to be you. No one does. But the ugly truth is, a lot of people suffer from it and the majority of us are blissfully ignorant about it. When a person says they're depressed, they'd tell that person to suck it up and just move on—that there are people suffering worse than you. Invalidating their feelings, they bottle it up. Until one day, they explode. And at the end, when all is said and done, they're gonna be sorry because they didn't listen. People are treating depression like some sort of joke. Even when there's the Mental Health awareness, people look at depressed people like clowns. 

It's a chain reaction, really. Sharp words like knives cutting a person down, not thinking if that person is hurting, and all ending with a heart full of hatred against the world. And then what? That person feels unworthy—a waste of space, which ends up in doing things one shouldn't. 

“It's not your fault, none of it is.” 

But why does it feel like it is? Like I'm the catalyst for all the bullshit. The weight of it all is crushing me.

I'm haunted by the past, present, and future. I want to tell you, but I'm afraid someone else could read it. If you could just look into my mind, Timothée. 

You would see how the world treated me like shit. You would see every fucking thing that made me like this. 

Every night, I'd write a letter to you. Wondering if you'd ever get any of my letters. If you're listening, if you understand me. You said in an interview, “Love yourself for who you are and whoever you are, I'm gonna love you too. And when you suffer in life, suffer appropriately. And if you feel bad, that's fine! Just don't beat yourself up for feeling bad.” 

Am I delusional for thinking you'll love me? Based on what you said? Who am I kidding? I don't love myself. 

You're not going to love me. 

I've been suffering for too long and I've been feeling bad for half my life—beating myself up for it. 

If by some miracle, the pain goes away…..

Joke's on me. 

It's supposed to be fun, turning twenty one. 

All my love,

Y/N. 

Timothée felt an unsettling pit in his stomach. He prayed that Y/N was okay, and whatever she planned—he wished she didn't do. 

Suddenly, his phone rang. It was the private investigator he hired. Timothée sighed, hoping for good news. “Yes?” 

“I have a lead on the girl you're looking for, Mr. Chalamet. An address.”

The young actor nearly jumped on his bed in excitement. Timothée finally had an address. He could finally look for Y/N. Timothée quickly scrambled around his room, packing clothes and basic necessities—money, cards, and his passport—along with Y/N's letters. 

All eighteen letters. Ten opened, eight still sealed.  

Timothée stared at the photo in his wallet—the beautiful girl who he wanted so much to find. 

“I'm on my way, Y/N. Hold on, I'm coming.” 

@lovemelikecrazyiloveyoucrazy @helens3amstuff @gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl

[sea-buns]

hey to a gorgug liker what do you think about his nightmare section from sophomore year? cause I feel like the horror there is less “ah my grandparents were racist” and more “fuck am I being a stereotype? are the people who hate me right about me?” cause wrt to his having to modulate between barbarian and artificer in fhjy it’s like. idk

oh boy do I have thoughts

Tbh, I had zero recollection of the racism stuff until reading this. It was just SO MINOR. His trial in the forest felt really lackluster to me. I feel like everyone else's really dug into an issue at the core of their character and his felt more like "everyone is getting a trial, what do we do for gorgug?" And idk if that was just a bad delivery/call on Brennan's part or if it could have been helped by Zac engaging more in it but it just. Didn't feel like anything. It was a lot more about the dice than the horror of the claustrophobia and the bugs and you've never fit in anywhere you live to make yourself smaller wherever you go you're just the loser who hits hard. Like yeah I guess there was an overarching theme of Gorgug gaining confidence in himself but it was done very poorly imo.

And I think his trial in the forest was wrong for putting such an emphasis on his intelligence. I think that would have been much better suited in fy, back when he was still being heavily bullied, but beyond that it felt like a quick and easy thing for them to grab. Yes, he had insecurities about his intelligence with all the complications with Zelda. But, to me, the focus of fhsy was his HEART. It put a spotlight on how his social circle has grown, and his bully is his friend now, and he's not alone anymore. His interactions with Ayda, the friendship book, trying to help Fabian, I believe in you spring break, it's Gorgug keep going. I made a post earlier in the season (including a great addition by another user) that I think articulates that emphasis on his emotional intelligence very well.

Fhjy HOWEVER. I think it's doing everything that sy failed at. It's giving him space to have an inner conflict. It's addressing lots of little issues and conflicts he's had over the campaign and combining them into one coherent piece. Like, guy was in a relationship pretty much all of fy, and then dealt with the fallout in sy, but I don't think we've EVER seen as much quality relationship development with Gorgug as we have in jy. He and Fig spent an entire summer together trapped in a tour bus and no season has indicated that bond and friendship more than this one. He and Riz have found something to bond over, meanwhile in previous seasons there was pretty much zero one-on-one personal interaction between them. Fabian expressed sadness over Gorgug leaving the Owlbears, because it was the only thing they had that was just for them to hang out and be friends.

Just with that, we're already doing leagues more with Gorgug's character than we ever have. And I haven't even STARTED on his barbificier journey, oh dear god lmao.

Gonna preface this bit with a post I made before the season even started. It was about Zac's steady improvement in his performances with every PC, and how I was predicting that it was gonna culminate into a Gorgug that does him the justice he deserves. It was initially supposed to be a criticism, but I got a little lost in the sauce of loving my boy lol. Still very relevant to the topic of this ask!

God, where do I START?? Addressing his relationship with rage? I'll be honest, I didn't think that would ever be used as a character arc. And I'm not even sure why I've felt that way. I just didn't think... I didn't think about how he might've had a dislike for his own rage. Like, the WAY he rages isn't bad by any means, but I don't think it ever crossed my mind how actually harmful his lessons to sing to combat rage were. No, I did not like the way Porter went about teaching him (a bit too unsupportive of his capabilities and reminiscent of shitty teachers for my liking). But his point about EMBRACING anger; that rage is not bad and does not— should not— need to be stifled. THAAAAT. That opened up such an interesting dialogue for Gorgug.

I do appreciate the beginnings of Gorgug's interest in artificing in fhsy. I think the crumbs of it back then did a great job of leading into his larger commitment to multiclassing. And I think what he's been doing with it this season is exactly what was lacking in his section of the nightmare forest. His trial was a puzzle, based entirely on die rolls, where his solution after failing even when he's assisted by the enemy is to essentially give up. I understand that facing their fears was the whole point of the trials, but his section came off as incredibly anticlimactic and unfulfilling. Just the fact that it was a trial based on stat numbers more than the development of the character itself.

Where junior year succeeds in actually showcasing his intelligence and the evolution of the worth he holds in himself is with the hands-on approach it takes. Yes, the academic rolls are still dice and stats, but there's a physical manifestation that wasn't there before. Gorgug is smart when it comes to getting his hands dirty. It is in the practical applications of his skills that his brand of intelligence shines the most.

And while, once again, I did not LIKE Porter's heavy resistance to multiclassing....I have to admit that I don't think Gorgug would have had such a boost in confidence without that struggle. Even if my boy had trouble expressing it to Porter verbally, HE STOOD UP FOR HIMSELF. Instead of simply rolling over and agreeing that he wasn't built for a technical class and it was stupid to try– he was DEFIANT.

The kid who said "I'm a dumbass. Eat me you stupid bug." took on FOUR CLASSES. Three school years worth of artificer simultaneously. AND stayed with the Owlbears. AND went along on party missions to help Kristen's candidacy. AND was always on deck to help the party with the overarching plotline.

AND HE ACED IT!!! THE FIRST BARBIFICER THAT THE AGUEFORT ADVENTURING ACADEMY HAS EVER SEEN!!!!! He is paving the way for every unprecedented multiclass that follows.

Just in comparison to who he was in the previous season, the amount of drive and self-worth he's gained is astounding. In my eyes, it's done more than enough to makeup for the way his development fell flat in sophomore year.

i hope this fulfilled the ask in the way you were hoping! i told you i'd get carried away lmao. writing a bunch about any of zac's characters is always such a joy. gorgug had always been my favorite of the bad kids but i always found myself wishing he went deeper, y'know? and now it's real. my precious anxious boy has been handled so well. and watching zac's growth as a performer has been such a blast.

thanks for the ask! :D

[gettingfrilly]

Let's talk about Eddy and empathy

Okay, so. Hand-me-down Ed.

Lotta people talk about this episode. Lotta them have the take that the boomerang unleashed Eddy's repressed nurturing side. This is a very valid interpretation when you consider the abuse Eddy has endured and all the reasons he has to repress any nurture-type feelings. But here is the thing that I think. Or don't think. I don't think Eddy represses a secret nurturing side. I think it got repressed by outside forces when he was young and squishy and moldable, and now there's not really a whole lot of nurturing in there left for him to repress himself. I truly believe the intent of the episode was to show the Eds being the opposite of who they truly are. And Eddy, truly, in my opinion, is an incredibly traumatized kid with some really unfortunate learned behaviors and underdeveloped empathy muscles that just aren't gonna fully recover.

There are two episodes I wanna talk about to back up my claim.

Ah, Dueling Eds. Who doesn't like Dueling Eds? I certainly consider it one of my favorite episodes. It's a surprisingly serious episode with a genuine look at how Eddy navigates the consequences of hurting someone. That long silence in the van with Double D? His continuing insistence that he didn't do anything? Continually asking throughout the whole episode what the hell is even going on? Mwah. Chef's kiss. I've seen a few different theories for what's going on with Eddy in this episode, but I've always felt that he genuinely has no idea what he did, why everyone's acting the way they are, and is incredibly fucking frustrated by how little sense the whole situation is makes. He knows it has to do with the fishball; he even brings it up himself when he's talking about the incident with Double D later. But he doesn't understand why that was wrong. He doesn't get how something so inconsequential in his own mind could be so hurtful to Rolf, and he is either incapable of, or refuses to acknowledge, that just because it wasn't a big deal to him, doesn't mean it can't be a big deal to someone else. (We call this ~theory of mind~ btw and it's a big component of empathy.)

Another favorite of mine, Little Ed Blue. I've talked about this scene before because I love it for a lot of reasons, and one of those reasons is the insight we get into how Eddy's emotions have probably been addressed by those around him in the past. I mean, jeez, this is Ed! He's one of Eddy's most important people! A true and dear friend he's had since he was a toddler and one of the few people in the world who outwardly likes him and gets along with him. And what does he do when Ed's having a bad day? Calls him a wuss, laughs at him, invalidates his feelings, and tells him to get over himself. This is some grade fucking A asshole behavior, even for Eddy. And yet he does it easily without a shred of guilt, convinced this is the correct way to address a friend who's in the throes of misery. I mean, just look at this face.

Has Ed ever made a face like that? His feelings got fucking hurt man. (also, as a sibling, I can say that this is categorically the most Sibling moment between Eddy and Ed in the entire show.)

IMO, someone with a repressed nurturing side wouldn't be that baffled by how Rolf is reacting or be that cruel to their own best friend. This looks more like someone who genuinely has a low amount of empathy. So what's actually going on? Do I think Eddy is just some cold, uncaring asshole? Of course not! He's a traumatized 12 year old kid who's endured intense physical abuse. Cruelty was normalized for Eddy at a very young age. Why should Rolf be so upset about a fishball? It's not like Eddy beat him or something. And what's Ed got to be so miserable about? Men shouldn't act like wusses. Men are supposed to just get over it. And how could Eddy be wrong for thinking these things? It's what he was taught, after all. He learned these behaviors from his hero, after all. This is all he knows. This is what makes sense to him. It's Rolf and Ed who are being ridiculous.

That kind of stunted growth to someone's empathy isn't something so easily fixed. This is why I don't headcanon or write a more grown up Eddy as someone who learns he doesn't have to repress his nurturing side anymore; I see him as someone who's learned that nurturing and empathy are part of the whole "having friends" deal. He's learned that nurturing and empathy are what's considered normal, learned that it's what's expected of any decent human being, man or not. He's also learned, a la BPS, that you have to be a good friend to have good friends. It doesn't come naturally to him. It's gonna take a lot of hard work and growth on his part. But even if Eddy doesn't always understand why he needs to be gentler, needs to just listen, needs to offer a shoulder to cry on, that doesn't mean he won't do it for the sake of his friends. Because even if empathy ain't his strong suit, even if being empathetic is hard fucking work, he still genuinely and wholeheartedly cares about his friends and cares about doing right by them.

[66sharkteeth]

WEEKLY THOUGHTS ON THIS WEEK'S EPISODE! Though tbh I think I covered a chunk of it last week-

This Claude arc has been some of the writing I'm most proud of in the entire comic, and I'm so happy other people are enjoying it too. Seeing Claude go from the series' punching bag to someone seemingly everyone's screaming over and pitying really feels like an accomplishment to me and I'm so glad even the people who don't love Claude are at least sympathizing with him (the vast majority anyway). Also shout out to Claude's leg for increasing my FP sales. I can't express enough how much my FP revenue's been impacted ever since the return. I got literally less than half of my usual income this month (when I needed it most lol) but the FP numbers *almost* returned to their old average this week, so thanks everyone who fast passed to see the fate of Claude's leg lol.

This is one of those episodes that was a long time coming and I have some kind of strong feelings about it. I've been planning to lop of his leg since high school, but I did admittedly start to get a pit in my stomach the closer it got. By the time these episodes publish, I'm usually over it and laughing to cope (see above), but I hope at least a few people were as disturbed as I was writing it. Which...I know sounds mean, but I really admire media that can get that feeling out of me (without going over the top and scarring me) and it's something I hope I can achieve too. Some of the most important pieces of media that influenced me growing up (FMA, some animations that inspired CoB, Paranoia Agent, etc), really gave me a gut-sinking level of disturbance as a kid, but boy I'm glad I saw them because they sure made an impact in a way that I think made me a stronger writer, and that's one of those things I hope I can achieve.

Anyway, to address a few points I'm seeing throughout the comments- 1. Jericho's reaction. I left it kind of vague on purpose. I have no comment on it and just leave you guys to speculate on how he will react or encourage you to FP to find out (sob please).

2. people legitimately criticizing joking about claude's leg. which is interesting to me. obv there's a lot of jokes and leg puns throughout the comments, and soooometimes I don't like that when a very serious episode's comment section is filled w/ nothing but jokes, buuut there are also enough real comments of concern and speculations and analysis of the ep that i really, really don't mind some leg jokes and puns, personally. like...as you can tell from the image above, even I'm not above making them. To the people who think it's actually fucked up for us to joke about this scene... I dunno. I personally laugh to cope, and I think a lot of other people are doing the same. I don't think anyone's literally going "LOL HE'S SO DEPRESSED HE MUTILATED HIMSELF," I think its just...funny leg puns to make a dark situation a little lighter. At least for the most part. I'm certainly not above joking about it, but as you'll see in the next episode, I'm also obviously taking it seriously and don't plan to make Claude such a butt of jokes now that he's reached this point. That would just be in bad taste. But... I think a leg pun here and there is still in line.

[queenshelby]

Yes! Mr Murphy (Rewritten)

PART 38: DANIELLE'S STATEMENT

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Lots of Angst, Age Gap, Teacher x Student, Pregnancy Loss, Infertility

PLEASE COMMENT AND ENGAGE!

Cillian took the phone from Nina, reading the article out loud to you both. His face grew grim as he absorbed the contents, his expression mirroring your unease. You exchanged looks, knowing this was going to be a problem.

"Well, there's no denying it now," he muttered, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

You bit your lip, trying to decide how to handle the situation. You felt your cheeks heat up as you imagined the consequences of what this may mean for you both. Not only was this humiliating for Cillian just before the BAFTAs, but also did it jeopardise your relationship with him, especially since, until now, he did not know about how you made your money in the past.

Cillian looked conflicted, torn between whether or not to address the situation, but you decided to break the silence first. 

"I did not mean to hide anything from you, Cillian but I was and still am utterly embarrassed by this," you said, tears welling up in your eyes.

"So, it is actually true?" Cillian asked with surprise, thinking that the tabloids had made up a story to make you look bad.

"Yes," you said, and this statement took courage, given the secrets you had kept thus far especially in front of Cillian's 14-year-old daughter Nina who, too, had to hear why you did what you did at such a young age. "It started when I was 16 actually. Not when I was 18. It was illegal but, when I went to high school, my forester parents didn't support me. They used the money they were given by the state to buy drugs and alcohol, so I needed to find a way to finance my studies. I worked at a strip club to pay for my tuition fees. It's not something I am proud of, and I have been trying hard to forget about it ever since," you explained, causing Cillian to swallow harshly before cupping your face.

"I am so sorry Cillian," you began to cry, and Cillian quickly shook his head. 

"Don't be, Y/N. I don't care where you come from or what you did. You are smart, beautiful, and funny. And I love you. That's all that matters to me," he replied earnestly, making you smile weakly through your tears.

Cillian caressed your cheek with his thumb, his eyes searching yours for understanding. "But I am sorry that you had to endure such shit upbringings and now have to endure this rubbish as well," he went on to say, his voice gentle yet firm. "We'll get through this together, okay?" he suggested, and a lump formed in your throat as you nodded, wiping away your tears with the back of your hand.

"This will look so bad for you," you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

Cillian winced, looking genuinely hurt by the mention of his age. "I don't care what it looks like," he assured you. "What I care about is who you are, not where you're from or what you've done. If people can't see that, then they're not worth worrying about," he then reassured you before he drew you into a fierce embrace, his words offering solace and reassurance. 

You hugged him back, feeling your emotions spilling over. "Thank you, Cill. This means a lot to me," you whispered into his chest, and Cillian squeezed you tighter, his own heart swelling with pride and protectiveness.

Nina cleared her throat, breaking the tender moment. "I'm really sorry for interrupting you guys, but we need to talk about this. You are not going to let this slide, are you?" she said, gesturing towards the magazine. 

Cillian reluctantly released you, allowing you to compose yourself before speaking again.

"Look, it doesn't change anything between us," he pointed out to his daughter, trying to put her mind at ease before turning to you.

You nodded, trying to swallow down the lump forming in your throat. Silently, you agreed hesitantly, still processing the newfound information.

Cillian wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close to him. You took a deep breath, letting Cillian's warmth seep into your being.

"Can you say something back, dad?" Nina asked, her tone curious. 

"To the press?" he asked rhetorically, raising an eyebrow in response to his daughter's question.

Nina scoffed, rolling her eyes in annoyance. "They always do this kind of thing. You're just an easy target because of your age difference with Y/N. Otherwise, no one would have cared. You need to make a statement or something," she commented, crossing her arms defensively.

Cillian sighed, running a hand through his hair once more in frustration. He despised engaging with reporters and gossip like this, but it seemed necessary in order to protect those closest to him - including you.

"Fuck," he cursed before picking up his phone from the bedside table and making a call to his publicity agent.

"Liam, listen. There's an article in OK! Magazine that you need to address. Can you please call me back?" he spoke sharply into the receiver, leaving a message for him. 

"Cill, I don't care. Don't do this for me," you told him after he hung up, but Cillian seemed determined. 

"But I care Y/N. This entire article is nonsense," he insisted, holding your gaze with intensity as he brushed his fingers through your hair, giving you a reassuring smile.  

"Just trust me on this, okay? Please," he requested softly; his eyes full of sincerity and you hesitated before finally nodding.

***

Several days later, and much to your surprise, you found yet another article about Cillian and you just as you packed your bag for your impending trip to London.

This article held a much different tone, and you were sure that Nina had something to do with it. 

Title: Cillian Murphy's Ex Danielle Speaks Out: "I'm Happy for Him and Our Kids"

In the world of showbiz, love knows no boundaries. And when it comes to the mesmerising actor Cillian Murphy, the news of his blossoming May-December romance with dance teacher and performer Y/N Y/LN raised a few eyebrows due to their 22-year age gap and Y/N’s troubled past. But fret not, dear readers, as the acclaimed actress Danielle Murphy, is here to set the record straight and endorse their relationship!

In an exclusive interview, Danielle Murphy opened up about her ex-husband's relationship, highlighting the wonderful role that Cillian’s new love interest plays in their lives. As it turns out, Y/N not only teaches dance, but she is also the instructor to Danielle and Cillian's daughter Nina who has built a strong relationship with her father’s new and much younger girlfriend.

"Dance has always been a big part of Nina's life, and I couldn't be more thrilled that Y/N teaches and mentors her," Danielle shared with a warm smile. "When you're co-parenting, especially with teenagers, having a positive and welcome addition like Y/N is truly a blessing."

It's heartwarming to see the understanding and maturity that exists between Danielle and Cillian, as they manage to navigate their separate lives while focusing on their children's well-being. The ex-couple's unwavering support for their children's passions has ultimately created a harmonious environment for all involved.

In her statement, Danielle strongly emphasised her happiness for Cillian and the joy he has found with Y/N. "Cillian deserves nothing but love and happiness, and if Y/N is the one that brings it to him, then so be it," she expressed. "I trust his judgment, and I trust that Y/N is a wonderful person who will genuinely cherish him as much as he deserves."

As a mother, Danielle emphasised the importance of her children's well-being and happiness. "At the end of the day, my children's happiness is my top priority," she stated sincerely. "And from what I can see, Cillian has found someone who genuinely cares for them which, ultimately, is everything I could ever ask for.”  

Indeed, this supportive stance from Danielle shows not only her maturity but also her immense love and respect for her soon-to-be ex-husband as the couple works through their divorce. It is truly commendable how ex-spouses can put aside any grievances for the sake of their children's happiness.

As the gossip mill churns, it's important to remember that love seems to know no boundaries. With Danielle's blessing and Cillian's unwavering support, Y/N finds solace in knowing they have won the hearts of those closest to Cillian and the children. These two individuals have gracefully risen above public judgment and are committed to prioritising love, family and the happiness of their children.

So, let's raise a glass to this modern family and their ability to find joy and harmony amidst the prying eyes of the world. Cheers to Cillian, Danielle, Y/N, and their beautiful blended family!

Tags:

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[sapphia]

Hey friend, I hope I can ask a favour from you. I’m a black non-binary lesbian going through a tough phase as Both of my parents are openly homophobic and transphobic. I've organised a crowdfunding to solicit for support to evacuate my home, it's been help for me. Please consider to donate to my pinned link on my profile if you can Reblog and share my pin post to reach a large audience with support . Anything helps at the moment.🙏❤️

Alright everyone, time for an impromptu lesson on how to spot scam asks!

The first sign that this message is a scam is honestly that someone is sending me this message at all, especially since I don't interact with the person enough to recognise their name. I'm sure that 99.9% of donation messages will be spam messages set up by accounts specifically designed to get money out of people, enough that I will delete these by default. I don't think I've ever had a genuine one. But if messages like this tug on your heartstrings enough to want to find out, let me show you how to do that.

The first warning sign is that I'm not following them. Maybe they're a longtime follower of my account though, and I might want to help them in that case, so to check that, I go to my account page, scroll down to the blog that was sent the message, and click on followers.

There I can type in alicesgarcia's blog name in the search, to see if she's following me. But I don't have to because I can see that she's right at the top of my follower list. This is a bad sign--it means she's followed me recently. To check this, I go to my notes and filter for followers only.

I left my ask notifications on too, and from this, I can see they actually sent me the ask BEFORE they followed me. Definitely a scam.

But let's say I want to go deeper. Maybe they're not my follower, but perhaps they are a genuine long-time tumblr user in a hard time--after all, they're a black non-binary lesbian with bigoted parents. That's all of my weak spots in one! I really want to support someone in that situation (Which, of course, I do, I'm on tumblr. This scam is highly targeted, and they s know what will get my sympathy).

So let's check out her blog. She's got a lot of posts, but they're all photo posts, which is another red flag. Though I'm scrolling and scrolling, most of the posts were made 1 day ago, with another big dump 5 days ago. There's a LOT of posts, too much to scroll through. This is deliberate, to make her look legit and discourage people from seeing the date of her first post. But by offsetting posts hundreds at a time (see address bar), I can find her first post.

And there we go--their first post was made five days ago. Definite scam. These are all huge red flags, but you don't need every one of them to tell you it's a scam. Any single one of these should have given me enough doubt that I would just click the block button. New follower? Scam. New blog? Scam. Blog all one type of post? Scam. No interaction with other blogs? Scam. Even the fact that she was so vulnerable and marginalised is a huge warning sign (you're being targeted), as is the fact that her blog just doesn't make her feel like a real person.

Look for ALL of these things. A good scam might set up a blog a month in advance and make personalised posts to gain your trust, or get the login of an old blog and use their age to make them look legit. Keep digging, and keep making sure that what you're seeing tracks with this being a real person in genuine need.

And if you're going to signal boost, even if you're not donating your own money, PLEASE do these basic steps before you post or reblog. Let's protect each other from this.

[whitedemon-ladydeath]

SJM + Eugenics + Ableism in her Writing

thinking about how insidious eugenics can come up in writing- specifically SJMs writing. Personally I take a lot with a grain of salt bec I don't think a lot of ppl realize how fucking deeply entrenched and rooted it is in everything and more often than not its not intentional

and to an extent I don't think it was intentional by SJM. she does have a degree of plausible deniability in her story telling

however that being said:

the Cauldron "pairing mates" has allusions to being a breeding program of some kind of supernatural predestined idiocy. Sam + Melissa on Tiktok have some pretty great videos on it

However, while they think that SJM is providing commentary on the matter, I do have a different view, not that I really disagree with what they're saying

SJM has a track record of using disabilities as an aesthetic for her characters. It's often a point of suffering and/or there ends up being a magical fix (yay fantasy eugenics providing miracle cures!!! /sarcasm)

Chaol, severely injured with a spinal cord injury that left him paralyzed goes to the super special healing place to have the world's bestest healers where the magical healing trope + black girl magic collide. He spends the whole book, a duration of only six months, regaining the ability to walk, with a cane most days. Chaol spends a large part of the book feeling sorry for himself and immasculting himself. Yerene, a professional trained healer who helps him with PT snaps at him in frustration to "just get up" when he's being difficult with her Note: some of these detailed may be incorrectly remembered + I never finished the book bec I can't stand him

Lucien: he gets his eye ripped out and is literally blinded but now he has a magical eye that is even better and can sense magic and spells and all that good shit

Rhys: chronic pain; never addressed

Azriel: scarred hands and wings, but so far we've seen no real struggle or accommodation of any kind or even a real discussion on how he had to learn how to fly at an older age due to his captivity and scarred wings

Cassian: his wings were beyond shredded but between books they got fixed up right as rain. it would have been fantastic rep for this decorated veteran and leader to be disabled, esp for a culture of warriors where flying is so crucial + where thr women are also forceably mutilated and can't fly either

speaking of the illyrian women

the Illyrian Women: not being able to fly and use their limbs is a disability. We have seen zero repercussions of Emeries father (and brother(?)) for disabling and mutilating his daughter

the mental health crisis of NESTA for ONE. in both the Fandom and in the series the grating toxic positivity and lack of patience and understanding and support and willingness to meet her halfway enraged me holy shit. The tone policing, the lack of autonomy, the unaddressed childhood trauma that has made Nesta the core of who she was. it was vile and disgusting

Aelin: quite frankly should have difficulty moving as fluidly as she does. she was whipped to ribbons and beaten bloody. Her back should be full of chronic pain and difficulty

Elide: as far as I'm aware Elide isn't too bad and she's incredibly intelligent and resourceful but it's been a hot minute since I've read the series. I do remember when they talked about it at the end about possibilities to heal her ankle (they couldn't)

I haven't read CC yet but I heard that LIMBS CAN GROW BACK???? sure let's just completely erase and magically fix imputations I guess?

I find it a lit harder to forgive "accidental eugenics" when her disabled characters disabilities are either made into Aesthetics, not properly addressed, or just healed all together

and when you pair magical eugenics + aesthetics:

You get Rhysand, the most powerful high lord of ever that you just have to keep being told is the most powerful high lord ever due to his parents being mates that his father whisked away from moments before she became mutilated like all the other Illyrian Women at 18 years old to a 900 year old man

you get his entire IC who is made of The Night Courts super special powerful clique who now happen to be the most powerful illyrian EVERRRR (Cassian + Azriel), Amren who was some trapped angel of death or something and Mor who is just so super powerful a mountain quaked or something when she was born

the entire IC is a concentrated powerhouse who also uses a specific mindset of "might is right"-

-and have forced others hands across the entire series or just outright lied and stole. also trespassing and routinely breaking laws but hey

Rowan, Aelin, Aedion, Dorian, Manon are all ToG Powerhouses. Rowan is described as the "most powerful full blooded fae male alive". there's an implication that human blood "weakens" fae traits and magical abilities [this is rather common in a lot of fantasy books]

every single character in this series is seen as some sort of extraordinary person with some sort of extraordinary power or ability aside from maybe a few. Hell Chaol, the only fully human character with no powers is the "Captian of the Guard" which he got bec he's a nepo baby from being Dorians friend. He gets disabled and they immediately go to get him fixed

tagging: @feynessupremacy @bookishfeylin @andramoreaux

I thought yall would appreciate