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#and i dont ever see a way oit
frankpunisher · 2 years
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i wish i could live the lives any one of my friends live
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lesbian-de-chat · 8 months
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talk about el gato (langur de chat!!!) anf uhhhgmf. cappuccino vs langues parents I just lovb seeing ur ramble posts ok .
Hi i love you so much ok im finally getting to this ask im sooo eepy but oh well my rambles are the best when im exhausted . I think that cappuccino isnt usually intimidated by people ,,, if anything shes the one who usually is intimidating others but for some reason langues parents Actually scare the living shit oit of her like he does NOT want to talk to them ever.
Langues parents dont rlly like her (disorganized, constantly grumpy, messy appearence, smoker, coffee addict, etc. just a bad influence for their perfect precious angel child) but like They arent MEAN about it they just. Respectfully dislike her. they arent even mean or rude to cap in any way but once shes around them she starts acting really awkward and unlike himself like. Trying to stand straighter and sound more professional. they ask her if she likes burgers and shes like "oh great heavens no!! theyre far too greasy for my tastes" and langue is like ??? Are you ok do i need to rush you to a hospital are you havinf a stroke rn
like. its ooc but thats the point and its very funny to me HZBDKFB cappu can ridicule people in court all the time, she doesnt neccesarily care what people think of him and doesnt put much effort in his appearence because of that (unless its something that will actually affect her reputation and interfere with his job), but when langue is like Oh my parents will be there then suddenly for some reason cappuccino is desperately trying to get all the tangles out of her hair with his fingers. Do you see my vision
possibly its because of cappuccinos past experiences with her parents (she had Awful biological parents and equally as bad adoptive ones) but idk . havent thought much about that.
Anyways i do think that cappu grows on langues parents . Langue would hide their relationship for as long as they can (they know that their parebts already dont like cap very much and they are Very overprotective and picky about partners) and while their parents would probably give cap some looks at the start i think . they would grow to like her and probably spoil him just as much as langue . Which she is not used to ! Cappu is not used to supportive and affectoionate parents
ok im gonna eep . thank you for this /gen tbis was so fun to type :3
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sillyflipping · 9 months
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DXM 180mg hbr + weed trip report
8:10 PM: packed a bowl and smoked it. around this time, also hit the pen a few times, and a couple hits of nic vape
10:30 PM: Took 180mg DXM hbr in the form of 12 gelcaps, 15mg each. They were a generic store pharmacy brand of gelcaps, but I made sure to get the kind that contained only dxm and no other active ingredients. If you’re going to do dxm, don’t do it if there’s acetamenophin or guafinesin in whatever you’re taking because it can actually kill you, and it is not pleasant to OD on acetamenophin. Before taking the dxm I took one pill of otc dramamine to combat any nausea. The amount I took should get me to a high first plat, *maybe* a low second plat, or at least so says the dosage calculators. I’ve not done much Hbr in my past, I usually used to do freebase pills and occasionally poli (Delysm). I hadn’t done dxm in over a year now, I know it caused me a bunch of problems in my past, but for some reason lately this past week I’d just been craving it for some reason. Honestly in the past few days I’d just been fiending to get fucked up. And now, I’ve finally done it, i’ve taken my first-second plat dose and I’m waiting for it to kick in. I will try and update every hour. Also note I’ve never combined dxm and weed before, so will see if it’s any different. Also If I end up falling asleep will continue to update in the morning or whenever I wake up.
11:30 PM: Don’t notice any signifigant effects. Bit of a headache. Am lying in bed was watching some youtube videos.
12:00 AM head pounding a bit but it’s not intese pain. Just kind of a headache a bit dizzy/disoreinted bit spinny rooms spinny
12:40 AM head hurts, dizzy. This isn’t like the previous times i’ve done dxm, it’s not kickin in as hard, though to be fair I used to do freebase at higher doses and at that time I was also on abilify and lithium. Gonna try and lie down close my eyes cuz my head hurts
3am: wakw up tripping can barely type tbis. CEV’s and body heavy, dizzy visual snow room spinning. mild nausea. Feel like am on low second plat Obviously no ones awake cuz its 3am and idk
3:22 AM: I realize i mustve slept thru the peak of the trip as it’s 3am. I don’t mnow if i ever slept or if ive just been laying here in my own head my thoughts are blunted and despite the dozziness nausea and weird statitc snow visuals, it’s working to makw me not fee emotions. still tripping. hard to type
I cant belive i used to be such a dexhead that id go places like id go grocery shopping w frens back in college while off the dxm. Cant belsiwv it. This shit sucks theres way better drugs oit there this aint it
Dont really feel that cold but am shaking shivering
4am: texted a friend who was up at this hour, probably not about anytning super important. im still in the dextroverse but i think maybe im slowly comin down. There’s still visual snow and a jelly-like state about the air and atmosphere around me. I took like a 2nd plat dose and I’ll edit this trip report for more coherency and grammar once am sober
Dxm is bad trips not mentally. Mentally its pretty good but the body high is awful. Dizy and nausea spinning
4:23am: read some online calvin and hobbes comics. i never read those as a kid before but i feel like i can really understand them better somehow while trippin
4:43am: The comedown is the best part, honestly.
5AM: Still tripping, coming down. Compared to the overwhelming love and joy of a (good) mushroom trip, and compared to the depression and lonelieness i feel in my daily life, this is kinda true neutral. i feel nothing, numb. slighly optimistic tho. dont feel depressed atm. dont feel happy either.
5:40 AM: slowwwlllyyyyyy coming down. i try eating a couple spicy chips (carolina realer cheeto) to see if i can still taste, as sense of taste is often greatly diminished on dxm. The cheetos taste bland, and i feel the heat of the spice but no flavor. Sad.
6AM: less dizzy. head hurts less but still barely hurts a little bit just mildly annoying. The room stopped spinning. Am chillin on the couch, no one else awake yet
7AM: don’t think i’m still tripping, i feel a bit faded but it might be the afterglow or just general me being zooted. The sun is rising
1PM : pupils finally went back to normal size
Thoughts: Dxm fucking sucks. I felt a weird emotion that felt like how a chemical smells. Weird and numb and unable to feel anything. Awful body load. Why would you ever do dxm if you can do anything else. Nostalgia is a liar
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omegasmileyface · 2 years
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the point of the gifted kid thing is that like the american school system fucks EVERYBODY up, just in different ways. it's not like schools did figure oit how to be good to kids and then just choose to be good to the kids that fit its expectations of intelligence. where they got more compliments and more resources, they also got literally pulled away from social groups and were told they were being prepared for future schooling when they were pretty much getting the opposite. there is not a single type of student in an american school who's not getting either used or thrown aside by the system. sometimes both! some groups absolutely have it worse, i would say developmentally disabled students are the worst affected by the system and the prototypical Popular Student Council Kid Who's Also A Cheerleader is affected the least, but there's not a single person who benefits. football kids? they're being raised to expect that their life will never get better than the time where their whole worth is put on how often they get brain injury so the sports administrators can make more money. depressed kids are ignored to the point where the only thing they're getting out of school is bullying. everyone is getting an amount of homework that's actively harmful. and then that helps determine your future success, so it's either spend every waking moment of your developing years focusing on that work or get fucked. (sometimes both!) when i was pulled away for the first 4 years of elementary every time we did math or lamguage arts and i had to work in a different room alone because i was "better" at it however they measured it, that was not nearly as bad as when more visibly disabled kids were kept aside the whole day, to the point that other students considered them entirely seperate and never learned to accept them. but just because it wasn't as bad doesn't mean that i never learned how to suppress the urge to talk to myself and there are something like 20 kids on my college campus who don't give me dirty looks for no obvious reason. the only advice i ever got on my diagnosed social anxiety was when a G/T teacher told me to "study the other kids like an alien culture". even students you dont see getting fucked up by the system are, even the ones with preferential treatment. there needs to be something ENTIRELY DIFFERENT in place, not just in some ways
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leopoldainter · 13 days
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Not even close you call this varnish no no notorious
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solardick · 5 months
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Oh you mean the rape fantasies they gave me for a covid inoculation the one where i get raped by a couple guys. Is great ol’fun. Mmaybe if this new age apocaalyptic, peace and love bs. Stoped raping my existance since my first memory id actually have a life. But no. I get fucked since the begining of time and there isnt even a lesson in it.
Fags are like women all they’re good for is causing you pain and suffering. The only difference is one is dellusion and ugly and the other is pretty and spychotic.
When have in the thiudands of tome where other oit themselves over me had it resulted in anything good? Never. Fuck off. And ket me die.
At least with woman the famtasy is healthy and proactive. And supportive. Where the toaster pligs inyo a wall and not a toilet. But im only on this earth for one reasin and thats to he property and used and shipped around and raped like since my first memiru. Nothing gas changed.
Accirding to reality. The hermit gas nothinv to do with wisdom. Its lonely and mesery. Tgere are no positive tarot cards. I dint get why they are popular. But hey
MYbe i can get dised worh done more anti-spychotics myself and be dised back into being a braindead retard afain.
I winder hiw far away from reality i can get where i dont lose my sanity. Its great fun being franed into sonething your not.
Alcohols hits harder during the day than the night. That one beer felt like three. I m going to start drinking. Hopefullyni womt get raped by my own spyche for a while more. And i need to remind myself to go get my hunting permit.
Inhope that girl isnt in love with me. If rather save the hardship. Im not worth it. Im not worth anything. Im just a marionette. I just do what they make me do. And look at how well that plays out. Maybe my life with have meaning after im gone. Thats usually the case with “artists��. no one cares. They just take your stuff after your gine and put a orice tag on iy
As for tarot as it stands after reading it. It’s complete trash. Take everyone of those “archetypes” and flip its gender. You’ll see a big difference. But none of that really matters. Its just a copy paste on what’s already on circulation. Ehats in circulation will have dominance or priority of way. Anyway.
And alm obtainable information on whatever that obscure. Isn’t trustworthy. If it makes sense good for you. There all little bodies of meaning. And for some as the person the pur led their being into and became immortalized as a result. Thry reach out and cover over what’s there.
Not mych difference between that and hearing old songs from the piblic radio stations being covered by the opposite gender. And it clicks, because its never in mind, it was meant to be that gender singing it the whole time. Take the song. So popularized as “creep.” Its even queerer than “we are the champions” or bohemian rhapsody or how ever its spelt…. Music? ….. uh.
My heart sinks a bit everytime a crowd of “heteros” from a sports team or something sings aloud. Ugh.
Ive been “studying” media all my life. Not much else to do. And by others intent. I hate this. Theyve been doing it to me long before they ever started trying. My brain is nothing but, brainwashing.
Guess im not allowed seeing the world as not a hostile place to be in. 30 years of one thing. And then you twist it and transfer it to another. Nope. Cant not be. The world is t a fucken circle. Jessus.
Nothing but negative venus, plenty of womanly men. Plenty of drug connections. And stupid bs. Plenty of violence and negativity. Still with the knowing smirks. Making all this affects during “my personal transits” replacing what my act would do for your own i tent i stea dof mine.
Its never going to end. Its all its ever been. Just stupid bs and violence.
And i dont understand why. One of the reasons i went to astrology. An dit gave me a bit of comfort and a bit of security. Everytime id look at somethign spychological my mother went put me down. It the inly way i can understand. It’s always been. I cant keep going anymore. Im breaking down. Again. How can someone live like this? There’s nothing there. At this magnitude? Why do you keep me alive?
And why sisnt you just kill me 30 years ago? Ive been wanting to doe for the last 25 years. And all upu do is abuse me.
Now what? What to do. The tv saps my energy. Maybe i should go back out to the bar. Its getting late.
Wheres the loving conversation? Oh, yeah ,right. Im not allowed to have any. Even though im all moon and saturn. Im not allowed having that responsibility. Bah breeding is for the imvompetant and the malvolent.
Well guessni aint breeding. And theres nothign else to accomplish that has any meaning or significance doen the line. Being alive is pointless. Its just a waste of time. Abusive time. Thtas all there is.
Now eccuse me i have to rety and get more than 4 hours of sleep and then go hang out woth a bunch of people that irritate and frustrate me with stupidity and violence. Or girly man crap. And me having no RnR from the consistency of the bs. Its always like that. There aint no rest for the abusive. I said you had a good singing voice. I dosnt say i wanted to listen to you sing female pop artist hits. Jesus. Wahts next you gonna start singing me britney spears, join a brothel and beat on men.
My sense are heightwned. Doibt im sleeping tomight. Oh well no work tomorow. Whoopy do.
Probably got driggrd with speed or something again. They like to drug me.
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Hahahahha. Ywah ok.
Hey everyone. Theres this thing called astrology that lets anyone on thr planets to fuck woth yout life. Os fantastic. But if yiur not into that sort of thing you can go blow jesus.
Yay. Back to normal again. But venus transits comjng to a close in congruence to the unatural weather? +2? Frequent rain in january? Temperature drops 10°s. Happens. When ever the weather is fucked its with a “personal” transit. Been this way for the last few years that ive picked up.
Its like im so “collectivized” i control nature.
Hey look, i made a joke. Time for y’all to take it seriously. And cause me pain. And during that whole time y’all removed my latest sexual harrasser from being around me. I atarted global warning because i smoke ciggarettes. Sorry i took y’alls pure white loving christmas. Nows its a wet, green christmas. Where i dont need wearing a hacket until jahuary. Your welcome i destroy outdoor winter sports. Nature is ny obly social constant. Gice me more power. I want to cintrol the planet with my justice. Maybe i am developing into a nazi. Shitty life circumstances cause “hitler” to rape the environment right back. 7 fold. It says so in the bible. So i other words they dont want ke walking away from this girl. I dont know man…. But thays ok. They atent a venus figure abyway. Theur a pluonic mats figure. E
Where im given to the fantasy to “dominate”. Oouuu
Its all pickle and pineapples today…. Good fortune. And giving. Never mind it was just a freak 5 min period tgat just seens out if place. Good fortune?! Fuck iff.
Ok, ok. Everything is alright now. I see. And i want to be convinced. But i still ain’t. Still afraid. Or whatnot. Interference to others plans. Resistance And diligence and all that stuff. So even if whatever happens as i go through it. Then atleast ive kept what matters inside not to be bound to the effects. The next scene comes along.
I never got the whole trans thing. Kept bringing it back, like it bothered me. I may have experimented with underwear at one point. And you know what? A man thong can be pretty comfortable. In the sense that it keeps your balls up while feeling like you aint wearing nothing at all. And then you butt cheeks are frotting agaisnt your pants and not cuchoned from the sensation. Not very practical though.
And of course im always going to have a peace of cherry inside me. Love that persona. Not to crackpot bs she gave me. Thats too bad. Sometimes she reads right along with me. Its mine. I own it.
What i did love was find the purest most innocent part of you i saw. And i pulled on it. Your all demon on top. To the point of tattooing it on you. But naw. I went way back. To the beginning. Pieced it together with what i already knew. What little social wisdom i had to the opposite sex. And pleaded to it. Didnt care what games you played. Because i wasnt talking to that other you. And i didnt give much attention to anything you posted. Didnt care. I think your poetry is trash. You couldnt poet your way into any society.
Come now girl. You know you want to hit me. 😜
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littlx-songbxrd · 2 years
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Zia help people are saying Kit's a 6 again/lh
But I'm curious what would your arguement be for Kit being a four. I feel like I can never explain it properly.
Ok so i hope i do my explanation justice cause i might be feeling very scattered and all over the place
But i think my main two points were
1. The feelings of being fundamentally flawed
2. Kits refusal to be seen as *just* a herondale, the way he continously fights for his individuality as a person because he hates being seen as just a part of a family he could care less about.
3. Desintegration in 2
I dont think I need to explain the fundamentally flawed part, kit sees himself as nothing more than a screw up whos holdimg it together by a few threads. Like a 4, hes actually taken pride in seeing himself this way, the ways 4 reclaim their flaws and use them as a source of identity to cover how much hatred they harbor.
When in reality, the moment Ty mention he needs him
He wont believe it
He thinks of himself so badly he cant believe anyone would ever love him as he is because he cannot imagine his flaws being loved in a way unlike his self reclaiming. When he reclaims, its him trying to cover up his self hatred. But when other see those flaws and still love him?
Unheard of
Kit is shown to value his individuality very much. He hates heing boiled down to a part of a group (this is a direct call out to 6 kit, when most sixes do is enjoy feeling like part of a community)
Kit values his individuality
He doesnt want to be a shadowhunter
He doesnt want to be the lost herondale
He hates having labels pressed on him he is *kit rook*
He isnt anything anyone else wants of him
Most the times he gets sensitive in lord of shadows is cause someone WANTS to force him into smth he doesnt want to be labeled as and he fucking hates it
The 4 individuality SHINES in that
Oh and desintegration
When at his worse he takes on a caretaker role for Ty during his grief. And while i will not say he didnt do it oit ofcare because he did and he started this cause he loved ty. Taking care of Ty also gave him some kinda purpose in the aftermath of lord of shadows. Caretaker is just another role he takes up cause hes lost and he doesnt know what to do.
Kit desintegrates like a 4 all the way to the 2 cores of fearing they are unloved.
So yeah
4 kit
Dying on 4 kit hill
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abtoddler · 4 years
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Sooo pooh bear and the mala around Pooh bear has been helping me face my fears. Imma be brave and does them for here so maybe it not has be fear that keeps being what causes me shutting down on everything. Like when i breaaks i cant hands the keys off, no. I break, and crumple. Then theres nothing letting me stay connected to things which makes more. Problems.
So my fears:
Dying in the pandemic because of my long history of chronic pain, and as a gay male i not has the responsibility of lifes and next generation that comes.
Information is always abused. I learned that from my mom best. I not going to let it control me, and im certainly not going to let it influence any future actions. So i know my chances go down the more time this drags on, as non essential services.
Ive got my brothers and daddy and all his boys to keep things good. Im safe from my mom im safe from bad, and i has soo much good i want to see. I am on such a massive threshold im sooo scared of if this works even every bad thing is a good thing cause it makes it not be in vain.
I may be non essential in the traditional sense, but my work, and our community of littles who have been the most amazing brothers i could ever ask for, you kept me safe when i am being abused. I want to keeps you safe. I know it not essential but to me, being a little is my entire world. I am happy in it, but i dont want it abused, i need not big things in big ways. I can do what needs it, but i want dreams of being brave like the cartoons taught. I wanna be confidident like a kid. I wanna be not scareder of being made dead by lack of use.
I want tell all of us imma build a safe place, imma buld it for all of us who scared. The ones whose scary evil family abuses, the ones whose left to cry and be in piss soaked beds for years, and then still dredges up behaviors that at soooo many years later, comes up.
I wanna show everyone in the academy that little boys like us, specifically the lost littles, the misfits and the pirates, the mad hatter, i was given a gift to day.
I got named by the magic community, to hold a title as, merlin, fully. Like what ive done, is a global network. Built around being magic and being little, built for us, to keep us safe if jobs we do are made for us to he chill and does or like I broken mind currently to much abuse it makes be brokes. So my daddy and big brothers and our family knows that i have to go get my brother out ther and imma gonna has someones i can shar fears and hopes and scary things with cause he can wifs mee too.
I not gonna let this be it for me, i not let it. I not be irrelevant and i not be scared of not being necessary life...imma set it to be the frsts of things to do is changes that for us as muchs as possible. I loves all of the littles oit there and I Thankies soooooooo much that i get to be a child of the fae, that i really do get to be merlin, ^.^ im so excited ^.^
Thankies and gotta together call the lost littles....alll of us needs to come together instead of let these people and scary fears
Of not being necessary to keep alive
Of being okay with the very real question of will this be a thing i can survive or will this be what of all things finally does it. I not know.
I want find out. If you want find out too, let’s together to do, we nots lone if we does together.
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I'll Stand By You (ONESHOT) (Taehyung, Jungkook)
A/N: This is a very short story I wrote in 40 minutes because I got emotional from a song. It was totally inspired by I'll Stand By You by Pretenders. (Read this while listening to the song. The Glee version works too. Ahaha) Remember, its all just fiction okay, and hope you like it. No hate comments, only love 💜❤💜❤💜
Jungkook felt the tears in his eyes but he doesnt care as he looks at the screaming crowd in front of him. He made it. He and his hyungs finally wont their first Grammy ever. After all the hard work, the blood, sweat and tears, they made it. Namjoon passed the microphone to him, indicating that its his turn to express his gratitude to their amazing fans. With shaky hands Jungkook grab the microphone and the crowd roars louder.
"ARMYYYYYYY," he screams and the crowd replied back with the same enthuasiastic scream. "We made it!" He raised the trophy high above his head, a huge smile strectched across his face. "I want to thank all of you for keeping on believing in us, trusting us and giving us love and inspiration. But most of all, I want to thank this person.. whos always here for me.. always standing by me through all my darkest hours in our journey in achieveing this,"
Oh, why you look so sad, the tears are in your eyes, Come on and come to me now, and don't be ashamed to cry, Let me see you through, 'cause I've seen the dark side too. When the night falls on you, you don't know what to do, Nothing you confess could make me love you less,
"What are you doing all by yourself in the corner Kookie?" Jungkook looks up at the person smiling at him, giving out a hand for him to take, but he refused.
"Nothing. Just leave me alone okay. I need some time alone,"
"Hey, why are you so sad?" The person sits down besides him. "Let me guess, because you messed up a few steps during practice just now?" Jungkook grunts and turns the other way, not in the mood to comment. "Come on Kookie, its no big deal. Everybody messed up sometimes,"
Jungkook sighed and turns around. "I dont know. What if... I'm not good enough? What if.. its because of my dancing and singing that made the group so difficult to debut? We have worked so hard for so long but we still didnt get any opportunity to debut,"
"Hey... dont say that," the person smile and shakes his shoulder. "You are amazing in everything you do, talented and just.. amazing! And trust me, all your hard work and the other's hard work, will pay off,"
"I just... feel useless sometimes you know? Like I am not good enough," Jungkook looks down, trying to kept in his tears. Crying is for the weak, thats what he use to believe, but that day, he learnt something different.
"Hey Kookie.. if you want to cry, you know you can just cry. Theres nothing wrong with that," the person smile softly at him.
"No! I'm not weak and I wont cry!"
"Whoever says that crying is for the weak? It actually means you are strong because you are not afraid to show your strength and you are not afraid to try again. So if you want to cry, jusy cry. Because I'm here with you, I understand exactly what you wwnt through and I'll cry with you, always," that person laughs, and Jungkook smile through his tears. Jungkook has never been someone who shows his emotions, his feelings. But that day... that day he did.
And that was the first moment he realizes, he had found his soulmate.
So if you're mad, get mad, don't hold it all inside, Come on and talk to me now. Hey there, what you got to hide? I get angry too, well, I'm alive like you
"The past years has been a rollercoaster of emotions. We get mad, we feel happy, we get angry, scared, frustrated and even almost given up. But this person... this person kept me going. This person told me that its okay to have feelings, to feel and at the same time, to let it oit and try again. That all of us are humans and its okay to be mad to be frustrated," Jungkook smile.
"Urghhhhhh," Jungkook pushed everything off the table in his room, breathing heavily.
"Feel better?"
Jungkook turns and saw the person smiling, leaning at his door frame.
"No, I just- ," Jungkook sighed and slumped himself on the bed. His whole day was filled with hate comments from his supposed fans who reacted to the news of him hanging out with some of his female friends. "I know I shouldnt get mad. Its my fault. I should have known better,"
The person walked slowly inside his room and sits besides him on the bed. "Hey, its okay to be angry and mad Kookie. You are only human,"
"Really? I can get mad? But I thought I-"
"I get mad too you know,"
"You do? But I have never seen you mad. You are always cheerful,"
"Yeah, of course I get mad," the person laughs. "I am human too afterall. So Kookie, if you want to get mad, get mad okay? Its okay. We need to express ourselves too sometimes. Come, let me take you out and we can express it together,"
Jungkook half heartedly gets up from his bed and follow to where he was lead to, and he just know that he wont regret it as he looks at the person and the person smile right back at him.
"Whenever I want to give up, when I feel like I made the wrong decision, the wrong choice, when the world judged me for it, hate for it, this person is always there for me. Letting me know that I will be okay," Jungkook continues, eyes looking far ahead into the crowd, tears starts to rolls down his cheeks.
When you're standing at the cross roads, And don't know which path to choose, Let me come along, 'cause even if you're wrong I'll stand by you
"I-I dont know what to do..." Jungkook looks down, frustrated. "W-what if I made the wrong choice? People will hate me for it,"
"Whatever you choose Kookie, I will be right here with you. If people hate you, I will get hated with you. You will never be alone. Yeah?" The person smiles at him, immediately giving him strength.
"Y-you promise?"
"I swear," the person smile and hold out a hand. "You ready for this Jeon Jungkook?"
Jungkook finally smile and take the hand, clasping it tight. The warmth letting he know for sure that no matter what happens, he will never ever be alone.
Baby, even to your darkest hour, and I'll never desert you, I'll stand by you. And when, when the night falls on you baby, You're feeling all alone, you're wandering on your own, I'll stand by you
"This person is always by my side, through all my ups and down. This person motivates me, never judged me for all my poor decison and is the sole reason why I am here tonight. Why we are here tonight. And I know... I just know he meant as much to you as he was to me. And I know all of you miss him, as much as I miss him," Jungkook sniffles and the rest of his brothers comes closer, hugging him and stroking his back, understanding exactly how he felr, because well, the pain runs deep in their hearts too. "I just... I just wish that I had stand by him too.. through out all his struggles, that I had stand by him and fend off all those reporters and crazy fans that led him to his car accident... and took him away from all of us forever. I-I just... I miss him," Jungkook burst into tears and the rest of his hyungs hugs him tight as the rest of the crowd fell quiet, sniffles heard all around. After calming himself down, Jungkook grab the microphone again, raising the trophy.
"This is for you. The most special person to me. You will forever be missed, Kim Taehyung, by me, by us, by everybody Thank you for always standing by me,"
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howlingcliffs · 4 years
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whos your favorite oc
OIT OF EVERYONE THAT'S RLLY HARD SO IM GONNA DO ONE FROM EACH STORY
Ashes - Exile: twigtail!! hes been an oc for a rlly long time (started out as a sona) and hes like. mega disturbed by his visions of the future but they calm down after he runs away from the clans but they def dont go away. its in The Alder's Sanctuary that he learns he can control water!
Ashes - Colored Lights: MOORSTEP!! I LOVE MOORSTEP.. hes a little sweet reassuring guy but he has his breakdowns and bad moments as eveyone does, but his are bad because he doesn't like to be babied since he already was back in robinclan. its with the help of apple (one of twigtail's co-leaders) who's also blind that he learns to ignore what others say and learn to be fully happy with himself. when moor learns of apple and sheep's deaths he's heartbroken since they were like his mothers
Ashes - Four Storms: waspwhisper (formerly beestripe)! hes an mc in exile but he reappears here as dustwatcher's ghost guide. he has a lot of trauma from being stuck inside The Wasp's Tomb, especially since he awoke about a year after he'd been buried and was buried for about four years after that (he lived on a diet of mice and rodents that fell into the tomb through a hole in the ceiling). it was in there that he learned that he could control fire, since he'd been hitting sticks up against rocks to keep himself entertained
Ashes - Burning Shadows: stagfang! shes fully aware that firelight's relationship with wolftooth is against the code but she does her best to support her brother even if hes being an idiot. if firelight's happy, then shes happy, because a sad firelight is something she never wants to see ever again
Ashes - Spark: ALSO REALLY HARD.. god tho probably pyrestrike (robinclan warrior)? shes the mc and also the villian so a story from the villians pov is rlly interesting to me! her redemption is also really sweet because she really gets to know her family and ashspirit (her mentor) and bearface (ash's bf) come back to the clans after thistlefeather (pyre's brother, rookclan med cat) goes to get them bc wolftooth's ghost told him to
Ashes - The Lost Three (Prequel): poppystar or roxx! theyre both super interesting characters, esp since theyre later on reincarnated into waspwhisper and twigtail respectively. poppystar doesn't have fire powers like wasp does but roxx and twig do share their future-sight powers
Formality: JAY! hes the main protag! hes spent all of his time since he was 15 searching for his brother jasper after jasper accidentally burnt down their house and disappeared along with jay and jasp's abusive step-mom scarlet. jay doesn't believe jasp is dead so that's why hes been searching all this time
Misfit Mania S1-S2: pike or creek or dib! its a hard tie between the three of them because theyre each complicated in their own ways but pike rlly strikes a cord with me because he was the enderman emperor for a good couple thousand years and lost all of the powers he'd had for that time when he left so his entire life changed
Misfit Mania S3: ryssel! he was originally made by my friend dibons but they gave me general ownership of him i think. but either way i love him. hes very stupid and trusts the wrong people and he almost gets beacontown overrun by zombies
Borderline: PRISMA. i LOVE prisma hes so fucked up it's unreal he deadass enchants his classmate to go on a rabid killing rampage on accident and he doesn't know what to do about it so he tries another enchantment but that just makes dart worse and then prisma goes closer and closer to losing it the worse dart gets
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darrycurtises · 7 years
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for the 'send me a character' thing - Darry, Evie, Cherry, Mark Jennings and BJ Jackson (if you haven't read all the SE books, don't worry. and tag/send this to changesxnight when you're done cause she loves you)
(wow i wonder who couldve sent this cryptic anon) i love u too britt
Darry
First impressions? 
listen,,, i was such a bab when i first read this book,, and i 100% sided w pony and so my first impression of darry was just >:(
Impression now? 
if i was to write down my full impression of darry i honestly think i’d give yall like a 50000 word essay in chicago style but suffice it to say that DARRY IS AMAZING and a million percent hes the most selfless person in the whole world and honestly the only NORMAL ONE like y’all can stan soda all u want but he still eats jelly and eggs im not About it
Favorite Moment? im gonna pick three because im an actual trash can,,, 
There was an uneasy silence: Who was going to start it? Darry solved the problem. He stepped forward under the circle of light made by the street lamp. For a minute, everything looked unreal, like a scene out of a JD movie or something. Then Darry said, “I’ll take on anyone.”
iconic
“I’ll be okay,” I said wearily. “How come you never worry about Sodapop as much? I don’t see you lecturin’ him.“ 
“Man,”- Darry grinned and put his arm across Soda’s shoulders - “this is one kid brother I don’t have to worry about." 
Soda punched him in the ribs affectionately. 
"This kiddo can use his head." Sodapop looked down at me with mock superiority, but Darry went on: "You can see he uses it for one thing - to grow hair on.” He ducked Soda’s swing and took off for the door. 
Two-Bit stuck his head in the door just as Darry went flying out of it. Leaping as he went off the steps, Darry turned a somersault in mid-air, hit the ground, and bounced up before Soda could catch him.
ADORABLE
“Darry, do you think they’ll split us up? Put me in a home or something?" 
He was silent. "I don’t know, baby. I just don’t know.”
what a Dad™
Idea for a story?
ok so i would die for any story that fleshes out the relationship darry had w his dad like im living for happy, stress-free, younger darry
Unpopular opinion? 
i don’t really know that there are any opinions i have about him that would be considered unpopular? r there still people who claim he’s abusive or are they like a cryptid now 
Favorite relationship? 
darry x happiness
Favorite headcanon? 
it’s one of mine it’s that his fave music is swing he is the ultimate Dad™
Evie
First impression? 
“what’s evie short for? evelyn? evangeline? e v a n e s c e n c e.”
Impression now?
*banging pots and pans together* AN EVIE NOVEL!!!! EVIE NOVEL!!! BLEASE
Favorite moment?
Did they cry when their boys were arrested, like Evie did when Steve got hauled in, or did they run out on them the way Sylvia did Dallas?
this is the only line in the book where it talks about her doing something? like the only other lines are “we’re going to a game” and “she, along with the other rarely mentioned females in the book, are greasy like us, and the only girls we have a chance with.” so, se hinton, step up ur girl-writing game, it weak
Idea for a story?
i feel like she and sylvia would be rlly interesting together id love to see them like as tag-team scammers
Unpopular opinion?
evie is soft,,,, she is not like wild child sylvia (that’s why i feel like they’d be a good team,like sylvia gets her out on the town, evie stops her from stealing a stop sign or something)
Favorite relationship?
i believe in evie x steve i really do,,
Favorite headcanon?
EVIE PICKS WILDFLOWERS AND DRIES THEM, AND THEY CREEP STEVE OUT HE SAYS ITS LIKE THE ADDAMS FAMILY HOUSE BUT SHE THINKS THEYRE PRETTY
Cherry
First impression? 
an actual literal goddess come to Earth, better than we deserve, needs a solo trip to the beach
Impression now?
an actual literal goddess come to Earth, so much better than we will ever deserve, needs 30 solo trips to the beach
Favorite moment?
Dally came striding back with an armful of Cokes. He handed one to each of the girls and sat down beside Cherry. “This might cool you off." 
She gave him an incredulous look; and then she threw her Coke in his face. "That might cool you off, greaser. After you wash your mouth and learn to talk and act decent, I might cool off, too.”
i mean how could i pick any other moment,,,
Idea for a story? 
literally any story where she isn’t shipped with anyone let her and marcia go on a crosscountry roadtrip where they take pictures at the grand canyon where they’re like “falling off the cliff lol scared u!”
Unpopular opinion?
i’m not sure if this opinion is actually unpopular or not but she was well within her rights to refuse seeing johnny at the hospital?? like i know this is debated a lot but she didnt owe him anything, no matter how much we love him, she doesnt have to 
Favorite relationship? 
cherry x being true to herself (also a version of bob where he respects that she doesn’t like him drinking around her)
Favorite headcanon? 
i honestly haven’t seen that many cherry headcanons? where are they? im just gonna say i totally believe in her as a beach lady
Mark Jennings
First impression?
i loved this boy so much like you dont even understand. the only person in the book i liked more than mark was charlie (im still angry)
Impression now?
*ugly sobbing* hhe wa sjuust truin gto helpp oit brryonss momm,,.,,,
Favorite moment?
“How goes it?” I managed finally. “What’s the action like in here?”
“If I told you how it was in here,” he said, “you’d be sick.” There was a silence. Then, he continued. “I didn’t have to see you. I wanted to, though. I had to make sure.” 
“Make sure of what?”
“Make sure I hated you.”
Idea for a story?
An entire overhaul of the whole book where he doesn’t end up in jail, full of hate.
Unpopular opinion?
so i’m not 100% on what the general agreement is on mark, but my unpopular opinion is i understand where he was coming from. he was trying to make money for the household that took him in when his life fell apart, and bryon’s minimum wage job wasn’t cutting it, and he knew desperate times call for desperate measures. i don’t agree with it, but i get it, and for the 213537356623465752676th time, bryon could have talked to mark. they were close, and he might’ve been able to influence him, but he didn’t try. 
Favorite relationship?
hhhhh i appreciated the mother/son bond between him and bryon’s mom? i can’t remember a lot about the nuances of this book, but whatever.
Favorite headcanon?
i honestly don’t know. im just v sad about him and i want him to grow up to have as normal and happy a life as he can manage when he got out of prison.
BJ Jackson
i know nothing about this “”””bj jackson”””””. sounds like fake news to me.
i’m gonna let @changesxnight weigh in on this one, so sorry my love
THATS IT THANK U FOR REQUESTING BRITT SORRY IT TOOK TEN MILLION YEARS
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futanaritalizorah · 7 years
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Please...let me sleep... *hugs shiba kiba inu tight* my body refuses this medicine...i just feel exhausted all the time as a result...ans tonight in particular i canr shut my brain off...just long enough to stop being sick... I pray harder...i told connor i used to pray to god...angry but...i founf myseld being more thankful...this was months ago...now i find myself just praying for forgiveness...praying for more...more for us...there has to be more...i prqy until i fall asleep...cause i dont want my mind to wander...i pray cquse i have to believe theres some purpose to it all... i pray Cause if you cant give closure...rhen god certainly will...im in his hands.... So i pray now...cause im scared...and lonely...and tired...and exhausted...and just wanting resf from being sick every other time....i pray xause all i have is shiba kiba inu. And i hope nemo still looks out for you as shiba kiba inu does for me on nivhts like these. Or mornings im a wreck and wont haul my ass out of bed. Im a mess This fever has me so emotional too so gr9 Ugh i just wanna know whag i did wrong When theres a liar right in your face. Theyre nor even rral. They xatfiahed a person...they told ypu i banned them feom ts when i didnt do sucg a thing....why am i still the one thats the liar t.T i pointed oit they mighr use uou and...so what...now im at fault? We all got played yet i feel like im mpre wrong for knowing it than the person eho was actually responsible...t.T Wpply that to wvery other sitition. I wasnt responsible for people leaving. Thwy left xause of their own accord t.T im tired of being blamed I wanna be blamed for beinf stupid for stayibf tgis lonf. I want jose eric ans savid to slap me causr i stayed when they told me i need to looj out for myself t.t i wanna slap myself xause i was nice and stupid and dis things out of love for you but...where was thay love foe me. Why didnt i love myself enough to know i deserve better. Self respect. Why. Connor. Ufh. Connor. I told connor i prayed kinder things now. He left me as well. He left me as well. But i dont vlame him. I wouldnt wanna see me in this rut either. Hugs shiba kiba inu hugs harder* :c i dojt vlame people for wanting to leave me Please god just let me sleep T.T my mind is tired tonight. Please never let him feel this way. Ever. Cauae its so crippling to live this way. I hate crawling our of bed in the afternoon T.T i hate aleeping angry. Confusrd. Sad. Lonely. Betrayed. Usrd. I haye not beinf comfortable in my own skin because every ounce of love was misconstdued and tuened against me. That kell hoe catfished and im still cwlled manipulativw. Fun fact: kell lied. Not me. Kell lied about his/her/ their life. So they lied avout whay thwy told uou. Aris has photos. Gold has experience. Val has screen shots. Kevin streamed it all. Theres picture qns video peoof. And you chose fqke eveeu time. Thats not on ME cwuse YOU chosr fqke. I cant bring myself to be around you cause im not gonna be confused as one of those fake friends. You treat those frienda you,have well. They...are a solid 100% bunch. I was fown and shit on myself and...each one...showed up...they sgowed up abd made sure i was ok. You have great friends. Dobt confuse a pretry fucking catfishing face as a friwnd Because i lost a friend too when i found about kell. She promisrd she woildnt hurt me. And look who cobtrivuted to mwking a mockery of my,life. Kell fucked me up in ways you wont understand. All you see is a pretrt xatfishibg giel thay rwjected ypu. Worse? She played with youe fwelings. But i could have told u thay. Elligator (that fucker you were fihting with in allies?) Also had a thibg going on with kell before ann. Surprise. Ik that cwuse kell played innocent but i didnt judge. Not until she stwrted making you into one of hee toys too. You idiot. I looked out for you. Kelsrara? U told the gm not to t2ll me cwus3 im crazy. And im your ex. You idiot. I knew long befoee becwuse kelsara kept harassinf me.i have ss of thay as well. In fact keyrus had to step in becaus3 kelsara just wouldnt stop harassibf me T.t you wnna se eharasment?? You fucking see the shit i had to deal with because od the lies *you* made and the mistakes *you* made. I had to deal with the afteemath abd i had to d3al with youe byllshit when u went aeound and told people slander aboht me. I knew! And i didnt *hate* you. What made me not stqnd yoy was your lies about me! Ask kell! I knew about kelsar! I knew! Ask aris! Yet i didnt fucking attack you qbout it when you cqme back to the gqme. I knew and i didnt bothee you qbout it T.T i deqlt with it. Like a fuckong human. I dealth with it So dont yoy fucking say you didnt hurt me. Cause you hqve no right to sqy you didnt hurt me. Cwuse thqts qll ive felt. Alll i wanted to hear was a solid stoey od what i did to you. Not one of them hqd stoei3s vexauae you hqve none. I loved you. With qll my heart. I cared too muchm that is called love So fuckinf decide if you want real or fake. Cquse i gave you real stories that are long lasting. Your lies will run out. You wre more thwn thia so stop lyinf. You left the pawn shop cquse you didnt like tueninf people away. You wanted to help. Stop calling me crazy and every othee shot when i speak the world of you despite qll this shit you keep pilinf on me. Knoe who made tge mistakes. I didnt fuckinf do shit with kell or kelsarq. Those were your mistakes. Not mine. In fact i told everyone rlse the sqme shit. I told them to ruck pff you xause you made mistqkes vut you dont deserve to be crucified. We qll deserve bettee *hugs shiba kiba inu* Im tired of sobbing qnd nobody hears a thinf. Fuxkinf do me a favor and log into swtor. Fuckinf app is too nuch of a pussu to tqlk to you avout liquidatinf. He wants to sell the fuild. If you dobt log in > he gets gm > he sells the guild O am i mqnipulativw again? No you fuck. Peoplr have disappointed me relebtlessly. I am the burxen of bad news. Why? Cause i fucking tqlk 5o them. I listen. That is how i know. So fucking get online and kick or whatever or discuss it witha pp. O hate hes doinf this when he could just discuss it. Ill hqte myself foe tellinf u thos cquse youll find a way to say i wqs reaponsible foe it. And ill hqte you for blaming me again. And then ill hqte myself cause i let you blame me agaib. I warned you cause youre a friebd...or...once a friend...idk...you said we werent driensa...you tell me Ik where i wanna stand. Im tired of feeling lost like an animal looking dor a home. I sound angey tellinf you this but underatand where im coming feom. My options are thin. You dobt teust me for God knows what reason. Here, lets say app doea get the guild and aella it...youre fonna blame me xquse i simply *knew* about it. But im hoping you know bettwe than to do that cause i pointed it out before it happened. I cqnt even comfortably talk to app abymore ever aince he admitted to wanting to liquidate shit. So i cant. I cqnt wqtch this unwind in front of me. I cqnr watch a supposed friend of yours liquidate the guild. And what? Youll come back homeless? I cqnt watch cause your "friend" is reaponsible for that Lets say i could have warned you. Could i have? Could i prwvwnt this feom hqppenibg? Or will you blow it in my face as me teykng to mqnipulatw people This was apps idea. Npt mine. Im simply relaying tge msg. I never hated you. So get your fucking eggs in a line. Cause im not th3 one fucking you,over. Kell, kels, and now...possibly app Thats what im deqlinf with even tho,youve been gone. I wish app wpuld just discuss it with you. He thinjs youre gone forever. Nah. I doubt it. Othwrwise that fuild would be gone officiaply. God just fix your shit before you blame me for it. I gried so hard. You kee0 nlaming me for wbeeythinv goinf weonf in your life. I only remember being ypue biggest supportwr next to your mom. What the fuck ever. I warned you...so please...dont hate me for knpwing...he might npt liquidate it if you come back to the game...itll give him a reason to play...but...sigh...im tired of beinf the bad person...i try to avoid peoppe from seeinf u thay way...uve just had toufh days...but...u uraeld paint me in that light... So ..self respect... whats wronf with me
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PROMPT GAME #1
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Totally unedited and I have to cut the storyline a little short, because well, its supposed to be a drabble. Ahahah ❤ and I decided to combine all promts you requested into one.
"Seriously Jeon? You have fucked everyone else and now you are finding girls in my home?" Y/N sighed and walked passed the shirtless male, grinnibg with his mouth full of cereal. Her cereal, in her house, using her bowl.
"Not my fault your roomate is hot," he winks, totally shameless about the fact that he and her so called roomate keep the whole house, specifically her, since shes the only other person in there anyway, awake all night, with their disgusting activities. Endless activities. "Cereal?"
Y/N rolled her eyes and grab the half eaten bowl and throw in the sink.
"No thanks, and thanks for offering, since that is my cereal in the first place. Now that you have disgraced this house, would you please get out so I can comfort my roomate when she realizes what an asshole you are and what a mistake she made?"
"Aww, come on Y/N why so grumpy? Someone not getting any?" Jungkook smirk, slipping on his shirt, thank god. He might be an asshole, but hes an asshole with a bod! And its hard to be snarky with his hard pecs staring back at her.
"Ive been getting plenty on my own, thanks," Y/N rolles her eyes again. "And I rather be dead than being with you in the same bed Jeon,"
"Oh come on Y/N, I know you wish I want you. Hey, maybe I do. Wanna gove it a try?" He winks, taunting her.
"Just get the fuck out Jeon," Y/N open the door and crossed her arms, waiting for Jungkook to walk himself out.
"Okay, okay, no need to be so hostile," he laughs and walks out. "See you babe. Just call me if you change your mind, I'll make time for you," he laughs before the door slammed at his back.
The rivalry between Y/N and Jungkook started so long ago that even Y/N cant remember how it even started or if its even relevant anymore. But what she knows is that she hates that fuckboy's guts. Walking around like he owbs the damn campus. Well, maybe it started whe Jungkook pull her braids at the playground when they were 5 or maybe it didnt. It doesnt matter anyway. What natters is that Y/N hates him.
Whole heartedly.
/////
"Ouch!" Y/N turns around as her hand hit a solid rock. A rock that makes a sound. Wait, what rock?
Theres an intruder in her bed!
Y/N freaks out and immediately sits up, a massive headache attacking her head like sharp needles before she takes in her surrounding.
This is not my room.
And I am definitely not alone.
Not just not alone... Y/N turns her head slowly and nervously to the side and screamed out when she sees Jungkook rubbing his head, evidence of being hit by her hand earlier, naked, only with a blanket covering his bottom half.
"What the hell are you doing here?!"
"Geez woman, stop shouting. Its like too early for this," Jungkook rubs his eyes and yawns, totally unbothered by the fact that they are in bed together and naked.
"Get out! What are you doing in my bed?! What did you do to me?" Y/n starts hitting him.
"Yah! Stop it!" Jungkook catches her hands and hold it tight. "First of all, this is my bed. So the question you should ask is, what are you doing in my bed?" Jungkook smirked. "And second, you dont remember?"
"Remember what? What did you do to me?! I couldnt have done this on my own free will! Never!"
"Oh sweetheart, think it long and hard and maybe you will remember," he grins and lays back on the headboard, totally relax.
Y//N scrunched her nose, trying to remember, and slowly everything came back to her.
"I cant believe I missed the dateline for my Math project!" Y/N wailed to her friend. "Im so stressed oit. Urghhh!"
"Then I have good news my friend. Theres a party happening tonight, and I heard its gonna be big. Everyone is invited,"
"Then I'm in!"
"Wow, you are really stressed out. Nerdy Y/N saying yes to a party without hesitation? Amazing,"
/////
"Wow, never seen you at a party before," Jungkook grins towards Y/N as he sits on the kitchen counter of the packed house, a bottle of beer in his hand. "This is usually my forte,"
"Pissed off Jeon. Why are you everywhere," Y/N slurred, losing balance and almost fell if Jungkook didnt catch her.
"And definitely never seen you this drunk before," Jungkook helped to steady her. "Actually, I have never ever seen you drink, at all. Are you alone? Who did you come with?" Jungkook looked around, concerned etched on his face. "Lets just sober you up a little then I'll send you home okay?"
Jungkook held her shoulders and bring her upstairs, to his room. Its such luck that the party is being held at his frat house. His room is off limits to everyone, but this is an emergencu. Hes not going to leave Y/N downstairs to be taken advantage by all the guys at the party. He knows the guys. He is one of them. But he will never let anything happen to Y/N.
Not Y/N.
"Just lie down here. Ill take some water for you okay?" Jungkook places her on his bed, covering her with a blanket.
"Nooo, dont go," Y/N pulls him, making him fall on her and giggles. "Wow, you are so handsome," she traces his face with her fingers.
"You are definitely drunk Y/N," he laughs, he hinself a little tipsy.
"No, I am not. Hey Jeon... Why do I hate you again?" Y/N stares into his eyes, not letting her grip on him go.
"I-I dont know.." Jungkook whispered. He knows its wrong. Y/N is definitely drunk, and he himself is intoxicated. And they hate each other, dont they? Atleast thats what Y/N been telling him, but Jungkook hasnt been hating her for the longest time already. Its actually quite the opposite.
"Jungkook?"
"Y/N?"
And as Y/N pulls his face, connecting their lips together, the rest of the night is history.
/////
"Fucking. Hell..."
"So I take it you remember?" Jungkook grins.
"I was drunk! You took advantage of me!" Y/N screamed making Jungkook laughed. So dramatic.
"Me?! You are the one who make the first move! You took advantage of me! Besides, its not so bad. I made you feel good," he winks. "We both kinda win here,"
"Urghhh, shut up!" Y/N quickly stands up and collect her clothes which is strewn all over the room, hastily putting it on, all the while mumbling like crazy. "Not a word of this to anyone! Oh God, I cant believe this happened! I an serious Jeon, no word to anyone!"
Jungkook laugh and made a swear sign with his hand.
"I swear. I wont tell anyone. Although are you sure? I know you want to gloat on how good I made you feel," he laughs more.
"Shut the fuck up! Urghhhh," she threw a pillow to his head, missing him by an inch, making him laugh more as Y/N scurried away.
"Thanks for the night!"
"Fuck off!" Y/N screamed out and slammed the door, leaving Jungkook still laughing on the bed, mumbling to himself, smiling.
You are such a pain in my ass, it actually hurts to fucking love you Y/N. If only you knew how I feel.
/////
Eversince that fateful morning, it seems like Jungkook is everywhere. She cant seems to shake him away. Grinning, waving, annoying her...
Y/N never told anyone about that night of course. She doesnt want to be knows as another one of Jungkook's girls, or his latest victim. Jungkook is someone she despise and thats the extend of their relationship. And she would like to keep it that way.
But fate of course have another plan and her science teacher partnered her up with Jungkook, as part of the mentor - protege program hes trying. A good student oartnered up woth a less performing on, in hopes it could help each other. Worse, after weeks ignoring him and asking him to do his own thing, the class is assigned with a project, something Y/N could never run from. And that is how she is in the library, sitting beside a grinning Jungkook.
"We are finishing this project as fast as we can and thats it,"
"Oh come on Y/N. Cant we atleast be friends?" Jungkook grins, teasing her. "Afterall, you have seen me nak-"
"Shut up!" Y/N quickly covers his mouth. "What are you trying to do? Telling everyone we hooked up? It was a drunken mistake okay!"
Jungkook laughs and mumble to himself. So cute.
"What?"
"Nothing. I didnt say anything," he smiles and shrugs.
"Look Jungkook, I'm serious okay? This marks are important to me. Lets just do thia properly and be serious about it. I will divide the work load so we can do it on our own time and we can meet uo eve-"
Y/N was cut off when his lips landed on her and he grins.
"What the hell did you just do?!" Y/M hissed, looking around to see if anybody noticed. "Didnt I tell you just now? You cant just go around kissing people! I mean, I know you are a manwhore but thats not how the rest of the human world works! Stop being a-"
Another kiss.
"Jeon Jungkook!"
"I only kissed you because you were talking too much," he smile, bunny teeth showing, chin olaces in the palm of his hand that is laced together, looking at her.
"I-uh..."
"See, it works. You are finally speechless," Jungkook smile got wider. "Lets get to work shall we?"
/////
The project did bring Jungkook and Y/N closer together. They can be now considered somewhat... friends?
"So.. do you still hate me?" Jungkook asks as they are having coffee together after submitting their final project.
"Well.. hate is a strong word Jeon," Y/N smile. "And I think I am getting used to you. But I still dont like you," she giggled.
"Well, I'll take that," Jungkook smile. "Uh.. hey.. do you want to go to the dance with me?" His voice laced with nervousness.
Y/N was surprised by his question. Is Jungkook asking her out?
"I-I mean, as friends? To celebrate our new friendship?"
"Whatt? Does the great Jeon Jungkook has no date for the dance?" She laughs.
"Hey, I spend all my time doing this project with you. I got your nerd aura all over me okay," Jungkook smile. "So will you?"
"Yeah," Y/N smiles. "Yeah, why not,"
/////
"Hey Minji, I have to meet up with my professor, kts a last minute thing. If Jungkook came can you tell him to wait? Please?" Y/N shouted to her roomate as she rushed to the door.
"Jungkook? Wait, you are going to the dance with Jungkook?" Minji raised an eyebrow.
"Y-yeah. He asked me. Wait, you are okay with that right? You said hes only a one night stand right?" Y/N stopped in her tracks.
"Of course. It was a mutual understanding. Im only surprised because I didnt know you two still hang out. And he never brings a date to a dance. And dont you hate him or something?" Minji questioned, hands crossed on her chest.
"Well, lets just say hes changed," Y/N smiles. "My phone is out of battery but I'll be back in a jiffy. Let Jungkook know ok? Thanks, love you!" Y/N waves off and went out.
Lets just see if Jungkook truly changed Y/N-ah. A fuckboy will forever be a fuckboy. And if you think a nerd like you can chabge him instead of someone like me, you are dead wrong. Minji smirks.
/////
"Oh hi Kookie, what are you doing here?" Minji gave him a sultry smile as she opened the door to see Jungkook looking dashing in a tuxedo, flowers in hand. He even get Y/N her favorite. How tentative. Minji rolled her eyes.
"Im here to pick up Y/N. For the dance?" Jungkook smile.
"Oh no," Minji puts a hand on her chest, brows furrowing in sadness. "I am sorry to hear that, but Y/N left,"
"Left? But I'm her date?"
"Kookie, I am so sorry. I dont know how to say this. But she was so happy she managed to tricked you. She said its some kind of revenge and that you are stupid to believe she would actually be friends let alone go to the dance with you?"
"W-what? N-no. Y/N couldnt... could she?" Jungkook's face pained as the clutch on the flowers loosen and drop to the floor.
"I am so sorry..." Minji carressed his face. "But hey.." he pulls him to the sofa and scoot closer. "I can make you feel better and forget about her,"
/////
Y/N almost ran home. Shes ao excited and she needs to get ready, to look good for Jungkook. She dont know why she have to, but she just wanted to. And shes late.
She happily pushed open her door, a wide smile on her face, which immediately dissapear once she is greeted with the image of Jungkook being balls deep inside her roommate, on the couch... in the middle of the fucking living room. He cant even find the decency to take ger to the room atleast? Knowing she lives here too?
"W-what?"
"Y/N?" Jungkook was shocked and immediately pull out, scouring for his boxers and slipped it on.
"What the hell?! You cant even wait for a few minutes without fucking anyone?!"
"You bailed! I thought you left. And what do you care? Arent I just some kind of revenge?" Jungkook smirked.
"What are you talking about?! Bail?!I was meeting my professor! I told Minji this. To tell you! And what revenge?!"
"Wait, what?" Realization suddenly hits him as he turns to face Minji who is smirking. "You lied? You bitch!"
"Hey, dont be mad at me. If you can just keep it in your pants this wont happen," she shrugs. "Y/N, I am just trying to show you that fuckboys will never change. Just one lie and hes already fucking someone else! How can you be wih him?"
"Shut the fuck up you lying manipularive bitch!" Jungkook yelled at her, trying to control his temper. But he knows Minji is not important right now. Y/N is. "Y/N listen to me, I can explain. Minji.. she said-"
"It doesnt matter Jungkook. Minji is right. Just one lie from her is all it needed for you to start sleeping with someone else?"
"Y/N, no. Its not like that. I was hurt. I was-"
"Save it Jeon," Jungkook stopped at the nickname. It felt so cold. He took a step forward, lurching for her arm but Y/N pull back immediately.
"Stop. Fucking. Touch. Me!" Y/N yelled. "Minji is right. Fuckboy never changed, get out Jeon,"
"Y/N-"
"Why should I care anyway right, we are just friends," Y/N angrily wipe her tears. "Maybe not even friends," she stormed off into the room, slamming the door, leaving Jungkook to pick up the pieces of broken heart.
/////
"Go away!"
"I am going to annoy you, follow you around until you talk to me. Until you forgive me. I dont care what it takes, or who knows how desperate I am!" Jungkook followed her around like a pupoy around campus for a whole three months now. Never once did he gives up. Y/N has finally had enough. The whole campus heard about how Jeon Jungkook, the campus player is now whipped and chasing some nerd. Y/N cant already tolerate the endless flowers, chocolates, gifts, texts and phonecalls that he sent everyday, but following her around, all day and all night? For three whole month? Its too much.
"Why wont you give up?! We were not even friends to begin with!"
"I am never giving you up. Ever!"
"Seriously. Why?! The fuck, why?!" Y/N has reached her limit, screaming in the middle of campus to the campus player, not caring to maintain her cool anymore.
"Fine, you wanna know so bad? Its because I fucking love you L/N Y/N! I have love you for so many years eventhough you hated me! And now that I have the chance to be in your life I am not gonna let some manipulating bitch ruined it for me! I want you and I am not gonna stop until I get you!" Jungkook's chest heaved from his confession. "Got your answer now?"
"N-no," Y/N shakes her head, eyes searching his. "It cant be. We hated each other!"
"I dont. I never did. I dont even know why you hate me? Ia it because I pulled your braids when we were 5?" Jungkook smiles. "That just means I like you Y/N. And I have never stopped since,"
"B-but all the girls you have been with? You are the campus player!"
"Its only to get you attention," he bunny grins. "I gor your attention when I slept with your roommate and I have stopped ever since Y/N. Please, believe me. I love you,"
"B-but-"
"Please Y/N," Jungkook kneeled down and hold her hands, in the middle of the busy campus. "I wont stop until you say yes. I will follow you. I will tell you everyday I love you. I will call you, text you, I wi-"
Y/N cuts him off by pulling him up, grinning, tears in her eyes.
"Serioualy Jeon, you are so annoying,just kiss me already," she grins, hands holding the back of his neck, making Jungkook smile with his bunny grin, love in his eyes.
"With pleaseure my love,"
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If You Ever Come Back (Yoongi x You ONESHOT)
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A/N: Yes, yes I most definitely know who you are MRS MIN YOONGI! ahahaha. I dont know if this is up to your expectations but I hope you like it <3
and requests are still open guys <33
MASTERLIST
f you're standing with your suitcase But you can't step on the train Everything's the way that you left it I still haven't slept yet
"Y/N!"
She turned around to see Min Yoongi running towards her, stopping only a few feet away. His clothes and hair disheveled, maybe from running all the way to the train station. Y/N has been standing at the platform for quite sometime now, tears running down her beautiful face, hand holding the handle of her luggage tight, her mind contemplating her next move.
She dont know if she can do this.
If she can leave him.
If she will be able to live without him.
Without Min Yoongi, her first love, the love of her life.
"Y/N, please... dont go," the wind bring his soft voice to her ears, his sad eyes looking straight at her. "Please, just... just come back to me,"
Y/N kept quiet, not knowing what to say other than staring at his beautiful face. Memorizing every inch of it as if its the last time she will be able to do so. It would most probably be the last time and the thought make her heart hurt.
"Come back Y/N. Dont leave. Dont leave me. Lets just go home," he pleaded. Y/N almost nodded at his plea. Almost gives up everything and ran back into his arms, there nothing more that she wants other than to just hold him tight. "Just come back baby. Everything is still the same. We will forget everything, it will be just like you were never gone,"
She raised her eyes from roaming all over his face to stare deep into his eyes. His last words pushing her feet to finally make the decision that she had been contemplating about for hours.
"Everything is still the same,"
"That's exactly why I have to leave Yoongi. Because everything is still the same. You will always be the same. We will always be the same... And I... I cant do that anymore," she whispered between the tears that starts to fall even faster down her cheeks and turn around to board the train that just arrived in time, as if knowing how much she needs her escape right now.
Still setting two plates on the counter but eating without you I'm sleeping on your side of the bed Goin' out of my head now
Yoongi tossed his keys on the side table, his whole mind and body tired and exhausted from what just happened. Y/N's tear strained face as she said her goodbye and board the train, her last words, everything is tattooed clearly in his mind.
He had make it his mission to bring Y/N back with him when he stepped out from the house to chase after her esrlier. But why is he alone in the dark house that still smells like her right now? Feeling weak and defeated?
Yoongi slowly peeled himself off the sofa and tried to make something edible enough for him in the kitchen, hoping food would help to distract him, but it was hard. Everywhere he look, all he can see is Y/N's shadows haunting him, taunting him. He moved towards the cupboards to take out a plate but stopped immediately as a rish of memories took over.
"Yoongi, stop. Im going to drop these plates if you keep doing that!" Y/N squeal as Yoongi hug her from behind while she is reaching for the top shelves.
"Then drop the plates and give me a kiss instead," he pouted and turned her around to face him.
"You are so clingy sugarplum. You are really soft arent you? Not as bad ass as people thought you are," she giggled as she pecks his nose.
"Im only soft for you baby," he nuzzled her neck. "And I hate how you always calls me sugarplum. I'm a bad boy remember? You are really ruining my image here baby,"
"No matter what you say, you will always be my sugarplum. And I love my sugarplum so very much," she giggled again before Yoongi cupped her chin in his grip and leaned in to kiss her deeply.
Yoongi shakes his head, making the memory dissappear and urgently wipe his tears that is trickling down his cheeks without his permission. He silently swears to himself that if he ever get to hold her in that way again, she can call him anything she wants and he will gladly answer to it. Anything as long as she came back to him again.
He sighed and start to set the table, finally sitting down to eat whatever he managed to muster in his dazed mind when he realized he had prepared the table for two oit of habit. His eyes drift to the empty plate and empty chair opposite from him, knowing that it wont ever be occupied again with someone that he really wants and he suddenly lost all his appetite.
He shoved his food away and dragged his feet to his bedroom, throwing himself on the bed. The once crowded bed suddenly feel too empty, too cold without Y/N there. He looks up into the ceiling and blinks back the tears that has threathen to fall as her scent that is still left on the pillows filling his nostril.
"Roll over sugarplum! Stop sleeping on my side of the bed you hogger," she playfully nudged him away but Yoongi pulled her by the waist instead, making her fall on top of him.
"I told you we can both fit on this side of the bed," he grins and lift his head to give her a quick peck. "I love you Y/N... I really do," his eyes looks softly at hers, showing all the affection he have for her. Affection that he never felt for anyone else.
"And I love you too Min Yoongi," she kissed him back. "But I love my side of the bed more!" She giggled once she broke the kiss and pushed him away, catching him off guard.
Yoongi nuzzled his face into her pillow, stopping the tears from falling once again, hoping to feel her warmth from the cold unattended pillows.
"Im sleeping on your side of the bed Y/N. Do you hear me? So you have to come back home now and kick my ass for that..." he mumbles softly. "Just please... come back Y/N. I miss you so much... too much,"
If the truth is you're a liar Then just say that you're okay And if you're covering your face now But you just can't hide the pain
"Hey... its okay. Just cry. Just let it out. You need to let it out Y/N," Jin Hee looks at her friend who is solemnly staring outside the cafe glass window, her eyes glassy but no tears are coming out.
Y/N and Yoongi has been together for years, been together for as long as Jin Hee could even remember. They are in love and happy but things started to go south when Yoongi starts to get more recognition and getting busier. Y/N can understand his busy schedule, not being able to see her as often as before. She even understands that he spend most of his free time in his studio instead of with her, leaving her alone at home, missing him and yearning for him. She's fine with everything. Its the price to pay for being in love with someone as talented and obligated to his work like Min Yoongi.
But what she couldnt understand is how Yoongi would let out his anger on her. Acting cold towards her whenever he hit a road block on his music writing or when something happened to one of his songs. Yoongi would come back on the rare days that he would actually be home being all angry and screaming at her, slamming the bedroom door shut in her face. She understands it all. Music is his life and its hard for him when he is faced with pressure and datelines, sometimes even being short on ideas, but cant he rely on her for comfort instead of turning her into his anger punching bag?
Countless nights were spend crying on the living room couch only to be woken up inside Yoongi's warm embrace, giving butterfly kisses all over her face as he repeats his sorry a million times. Y/N loves him. She really do. But how long can she take it? How long will she be able to stand being second to his music?
"I'm okay Jin Hee," was Y/N short reply. Jin Hee shakes her head and gave her a sad smile.
"You are not okay Y/N. And you are also a very bad liar," she chuckle. "I know its hard. I know you miss him. You miss Yoongi dont you?"
Y/N turned her face to look at her friend, trying hard not to show the pain she's feeling but knowing she fails anyway. Jin Hee knows her too well.
"I..."
"Stop trying to hide it. You are in pain. You and Yoongi are meant to be. Are you sure leaving him is really the best way?"
"I dont know what else to do. Things will never change Jin Hee. Even if I go back to him... wouldnt things would still be the same? Wouldnt I be hurt again and again?" She sighed, remembering their endless fights and tears, but also all the good times filled with kisses and hugs they shared.
"I dont know Y/N. But what you had with Yoongi... I feel like its too special for you to just throw it away. Just... think about it, okay?" Jin Hee gave her one sad smile before standing up to attend to some of the customer who just came in.
Y/N played with her hands as she stare out the window again, looking at the happy couple walking and laughing together. She miss Yoongi. Its only been two days but she miss him like crazy. It kills her to be apart from him. To not be talking to him at all.
No matter what had happened in their relationship, the fights, the pain and the hurt, she still loves Yoongi.
She loves Min Yoongi.
And just like he knows exactly what she is thinking at this exact moment, her phone rings, flashing his name bright and clear on the screen
Min Sugarplum ♡♡
And I wish you could give me the cold shoulder And I wish you can still give me a hard time And I wish I could still wish it was over But even if wishing is a waste of time Even if I never cross your mind
Yoongi woke up sweating like crazy, his breathing short and ragged from the nightmare he just had. He dreamt that Y/N left him for good. He turndto the other side of the bed, hands reaching out, expecting for her warm touch and easy smile telling him its all just a dream but reality hits him hard when all he felt is the cold untouched sheets on her side of the bed.
He was not dreaming at all. It really happened.
Y/N left him.
She finally gives up on them. She finally had enough of the bullshit from him, the shitty way he treats her and left.
And she's not coming back.
Yoongi blinked as he stares at the ceiling, the chilly morning air sending shivers to his skin. He remembers later through their relationship, the days when Y/N would just ignore him after he came back exhausted from camping out at the studio for five straight days. Yoongi understands she's mad at him for shutting her out everytime he's working. He should apologized the moment he walked into the apartment but he's too tired, too oblivious, too exhausted to care, and he just shrugged off her cold shoulder and make his way to the bedroom, giving his tired body its well deserve rest. He had hoped for her warm smile and embraced to heal his tired mind but he should have known better. He dont deserve that after leaving her high and dry for days with no calls or texts.
If only he knows then what he knows now. If only he knows then that Y/N was never petty. She would never hate him for being so passionate for his music. If only he knew then that he had missed her birthday that night. The one he promised to celebrate together. The one Y/N has dressed up for and waited for him for hours. Him always rejecting her calls all night when she tried to reach him.
If only he knew.
If only he knew then that he should have just said sorry and Y/N would have happily accepted his apology and ran back into his arms, wanting nothing more than to spend what little left of her birthday with him than fight.
But he didnt know. And he didnt bother to know.
So he slept on the empty bed alone as Y/N cried herself to sleep on the couch that night.
He also  remembers when Y/N starts to be difficult, giving him a hard time. Always complaining how he never make time for her anymore. Instead of talking it out with her, he chose to spend the whole month in the dorm and studio, again leaving her with no explanation.
If only he realized then that the only reason Y/N would even start complaining is because he didnt even spare her a minute in a week. He always left early and came back late and she didnt even get a chance to even catch a glance of his face.
If only he knew then that with just one quick hi from him between his busy schedule would return back the smile on her face, he would have done it without a doubt.
But he didnt know.
So their fight just got bigger and bigger, Yoongi, trying to a ood the fights and confrontations keeps spending more time in his studio rather than at home and tears just wont stop leaving Y/N's face in this point of their relationship anymore.
If only he knew.
He remembers sometimes during their relationship that he wishes it was over. That he was never involved in a relationship in the first place. Then he would be free to work on his music without thinking about anything else. Without the guilt, the pressure and the fights.
But then he remembers the moment Y/N told him she has given up on them, that she's leaving. He remembers when she said, with tears running down her face, that Yoongi is free from her now. Free to do his music without her as a distraction. Her face when she is walking out the door with some of her things, only the things that she could get her hands on in order to get away from him as fast as she could.
And suddenly he yearns for the cold shoulder Y/N used to give her when they fight, the hard time she gave him when he had a new project coming up, whining and demanding for his attention. He finds himself yearning for the times he is still able to wish that he was not in a realtionshiop, to be able to wish that his relationship was over.
Because at least then, it means that Y/N is still here with him.
Because it means that Y/N is still his.
No matter how he thinks about it, he decides that he would go through the bad times again and again as long as he knows that by the end of the day, he still can call Y/N his.
With new found courage and determination to get back what's his, he finally picks up the phone and dial the number he remembers by heart.
And if you're out there tryna move on But something pulls you back again I'm sitting here tryna persuade you like you're in the same room
"Yo...Yoongi?"
"Y/N..."
Silence enveloped the conversation, no sound were heard from both lines.
"I... I miss you," Yoongi breath out, making Y/N gasps. She is trying her best to move on from him. To start anew, to start living in a world without him. But hearing his voice again kills her.
Hearing him say he misses her... it just breaks all resolve she had work hard to build for the past days.
"Yoongi...please. Don't do this,"
"No, Y/N.  Its me who cant do this. I cant do this. I thought I can. I thought I can give you what you wanted. A happier life without me. I thought I will make it without you. I'll be fine without you. But I cant," he sobbed through the phone. After all the times he tried to held it in, his emotions finally broke loose. People who knows him knows he is a man of little words, he is not a man who show his emotions to anyone. He seldom cry or get angry. He minds his own business, avoiding any drama surrounding him. He lets out his emotions only on lyric papers, in a beat somewhere late in his studio. But this time, this time even his songs cant save him. He needs the love of his life to hear him. To understand the pain he's feeling right at this moment.
He's crying.
He's begging.
For the love of his life to just come back to him.
"Y/N..." he chokes out. "Please... please come back to me,"
"Dont do this. Please dont. We had so many chances to fix our relationship Yoongi. We tried everything, but nothing works. We dont work..." she sobbed.
"No. No Y/N. Dont say that. I love you. I love you Y/N. And I know you still love me too. Dont you Y/N?"
"Yoongi..." Y/N can only say his name. There is no way she can deny what he's saying. Even a blind man can see how much she still loves him.
"Love is enough baby. I promise you we will work things out. Because we love each other. Please Y/N. Give us this one last chance. Come back. Come back to me and we will work it out,"
"I cant Yoongi. I'm tired. Im tired of fighting for something that will never work. I'm... I'm sorry,"
And the line went dead.
If it's the fighting you remember or the little things you miss I know you're out there somewhere so just remember this
Ever since that phone call, Yoongi has been relentless, bombarding Y/N's phone with non stop phone calls and text messages, ranging from casual hi's and desperate begging.
Y/N tried her best but her love for Yoongi makes her heart beats faster whenever his name appeared on her phone. It also breaks her heart when she heard him begging and sobbing. The Min Yoongi that she knew was never this weak. No one was able to make him cry or even worse beg. Did she hurt him this much? It didnt sit well with her to know that she is the cause of his pain. She thought leaving will only make it easier for the both of them.
Not being able to take it anymore, Y/N takes a deep breath to find some courage for herself and slide her phone, finally picking up his calls after his millionth time trying.
"Y/N. You finally answered me!" Yoongi's sound happy, relieved and sad at the same time.
"Stop calling me Yoongi! Please,"
"I cant do that Y/N. I wont do that," he said full of determination in his voice.
"Yoongi please. There is nothing for us to talk about. There is nothing left in our relationship to salvage Yoongi!" Y/N is frustrated. She still loves him and is desperately trying to forget him, but his constant phone calls is not helping her even a bit. "All we do is fight Yoongi. We dont even have time for each other..." her voice turned sad at the memory.
"You still remember Y/N. That means something,"
"What? What are you talking about Yoongi. Stop saying nonsense,"
"Even if its just the fights that you remember, it still means you remember us Y/N. Every moment spend with you, good and bad, everything is worth remembering, both wonderful because I'm with you. And I know you feel the same way Y/N,"
"Yoongi. Stop. I-"
"No. Listen to me," he plead. "Even if its just the fights that you remembered. Or the little things like me always hogging your tv and never putting the toilet seat down," he heard her chuckle between sobs, "its just means that you still remember us Y/N."
Yoongi kept quiet for a moment, only the light sound of breath can be heard from both sides.
"I dont know where you are Y/N. But I swear that I will find you again. Things will change this time. I will change. We will make it work no matter what. We love each other and nothing is going to beat that,"
"Yoongi... love alone wont be enough,"
"Yes it is baby. Dont you ever wonder why you still remembers everything we had together? Doesnt bad the good or the bad? Why you still bother to even pick up my phone calls if you hate me so much?" Yoongi smirked.
"Its because you love me Y/N. And your love will bring you back to me someday,"
I'll leave the door on the latch If you ever come back, if you ever come back There'll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat If you ever come back There'll be a smile on my face and the kettle on And it will be just like you were never gone
Another one of his endless phone calls and another one of his begging which Y/N is listening too with tears in her eyes.
"I will wait for you Y/N. I know you still love me. I know you do," his voice defeated, barely above a whisper but he feels the need to convince her one last time. "What we have is real. We will fix everything. We will. So I will wait for you to come back,"
"Yoongi. Dont do-"
"No. I will wait. I will leave the hall light open for you. Just the way you like it. Your book is still on the coffee table, I never touched it because you dont like when I do that. Your flowers by the window are still blooming because I watered them everyday. I know how upset you will be if they died. Your clothes are still in the closet. And our room... our room still smell like you Y/N. I didnt sleep on your side of the bed. Okay maybe once but that's only because I missed you too much. But everything is just waiting for you to come back Y/N," he rambled on like a mad man, not giving a chance for Y/N to cut him off.
"Everything is still the same. Everything is just like you are still here. So come back. Come back to me. I'll be here waiting for you, smiling when you open the door. We dont even have to talk about this. We can just pretend like you never left. Just as long as you come back. Okay baby?"
"Yoongi..." Y/N whispered his name, he can hear the sobbing on the other line, harder than any other days and he felt his heart clenched. Something is not right. He feels like he is losing her all over again.
"Its not going to happen Yoongi  I wont come back. I do love you. I love you so much Min Yoongi, but dont wait up for me. Because I wont ever come back to you. I'm... I'm so sorry,"
"Y/N..."
She has already hung up the phone.
Now they say I'm wasting my time 'Cause you're never comin' home But they used to say the world was flat But how wrong was that now?
"Its been a month since your last phone call Yoongs. How long are you going to mope around?" Hoseok looks at his friend worriedly.
"Why dont you come back and stay at the dorm with us? I miss my roommate," Jin tried to persuade the moping Yoongi back. Truth is, they are worried. They knew the break up has left a big impact on him but he didnt seem this... weak before. Yoongi even look a little cheerful the past weeks and suddenly bam, he turned into a living zombie.
"No. I have to be here. She might come home," he shakes his head and slumped back on the couch, covering himself with the blanket.
"Yoongs... its been months. I dont thinks she's coming,"
"She will hyung. I just know it. We have been talking for the past weeks..." his voice trailed off, sadness suddenly engulfing him. So Yoongi and Y/N has been talking. Is that why he seems happier the past weeks? But what happened suddenly to turned him into this breathing lump of a man? Jin thought to himself as he observed the man wrapped in a blanket burrito in front of him.
"You two talked? Thats great! Then what happened?" Jin carefully tried to dig deeper into what could actually happened.
"She said she wont ever come back to me...," Yoongi's soft voice muffled by the blanket but loud enough for the two to hear, making them exchanged looks. "I know she said that a million times, but there's something different in her voice this time... and I think... I think Y/N really mean it," he peeks from the blanket and the two males can see how glossy his eyes are from unshed tears.
"Oh Yoongs..." Hoseok immediately lurged forward and gave him a tight hug. Jin stood up and sat on the other end of the couch, his hands patting Yoongi's legs.
"Then... why dont you come with us? Maybe just for a little while? The other boys miss you too you know. We dont want you to be sad alone Yoongi. Y/N might never come back for real," the eldest man whispered carefully, hoping it wont trigger Yoongi into extreme rage. He knows his words hurt but someone has to tell the truth to this hear broken man.
Yoongi only weakly shakes his head as a sign of rejecting the offer. "As good as that sounds hyung, no. I will stay here. This is our home. She will come back. Later if not sooner. And I need to be here when she does,"
"Yoongi..." Jin sighed.
"Im sure of it,"
"What if you are wrong? How long are you going to torture yourself like this?"
"But what if you two are the one who are wrong and she did come back to see that I didnt wait for her? You might say that Y/N wont come back, but people also used to say that the earth is flat and ended up wrong anyway. So who's to know which one of us is wrong or right?"
Both Jin and Hoseok sighed. There is no point in talking some sense into Yoongi right now. There is nothing they can do other than wait and hope that he will get a grip of reality.
"Okay Yoongi. If that's what you want then, we wont force you,"
"But one of us will come often to check on you okay?" Hoseok flashed him a worried look.
"Yeah. Whatever," was the only mumble they heard before Yoongi pulls the blanket to cover his face again.
But even if wishing is a waste of time Even if I never cross your mind
Yoongi crumpled another piece of paper and threw it to the corner of the living room, making it join the stack of paper that shared the same fate.
He tried his best to get over her. To not think about her. Its been more than a month now. Maybe she really isnt coming back. Maybe waiting and hoping is really just a waste of time and another way to hurt his already broken heart. Maybe Y/N has really move on and didnt even think about him at all. He tried to pour all his emotions in a new song but nothing seems to work. Everything he wrote doesnt seem to work. He kept crumpling paper after paper in frustration and finally giving up and lay flat on the cold floor.
I miss you Y/N. What are you doing right now? Are you happy? Did you find somebody new already? Someone who loves you right?
A soft knock reached his ears and he groaned out. True to their promisse, one of the boys would come everyday to check on his condition. Mostly trying to see if he is still breathing or not. But Yoongi usually doesnt mind since they will bring him food and gives him some company.
But not today.
Today he just wants to be alone and mope. He wants to be alone and think about his stupid mistakes. To think about the ways he could have fix his relationship before everything gone down to shit.
Today he just wants to sit and think about Y/N.
"Go away," Yoongi yelled half heartedly towards the continuous knocking on the door. He is drained of all energy as he laid down flat on the cold living room floor. But the soft knocking still continues, making him extremely annoyed now.
"Go away Hobi. I know its you. I'm fine. I'm still alive okay! I dont wanna see you. I dont wanna see anybody today. Can you jist leave me alone? Whoever you are?!" he yelled again with all the strength he has left, thinking it might be one of the other boys and not Hoseok who came today, but the knocking still wont stop. With trails of dry tears all over his face, swollen eyes and disheveled hair, he peels himself off the cold floor and make the short distance to the door.
With an angry forced he swing open the door, ready to bite off whoever's head that is standing there.
"Hobi, I said-" Yoongi stop midtrack as he stares at the tear strained face looking back at him. Tears are rolling down her cheeks but a smile still graced her lips as her body shakes to control her cries. This is definitely not his smiling best friend.
Yoongi blinked, hoping he is not dreaming as the beautiful face that he has been imagining in his dreams all these months stares back at him with wide eyes.
"I-"
"Hi... sugarplum. You were right... Your love... it brought me back to you,"
And it will be just like you were never gone
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