#and i figured making a post here where friends/mutuals can see was less likely to stress me out

[erythristicbones]

i wanna give like a small heads to ppl who actively communicate with me:

i tend to self-isolate as a rather unhealthy coping mechanism when im feeling really stressed and while ive noticed im not having as much trouble like. making text posts or posting on my artblog, ive been fighting super hard w/ the urge to leave all the discords im in/delete blogs of mine/just not talk to anyone i don't see face-to-face. i know i don't want to do that, and i think ive got a good enough hold on my brain right now that i won't, but i do wanna say specifically...if i don't respond to dms/being tagged/more one-on-one communication for a bit it's absolutely not your fault! im not upset at anyone, im not purposefully ignoring you, im just struggling rn ;u;

[azulera]

Sweet Like Açai

Pairing: TAA x Black Reader

Summary: He’s still raw from a rough break-up, his club is trudging through a mid-season slump, and somehow Trent still develops a fat crush on the server at Merseyside’s newest smoothie place.

Notes: this will be my last story for a while, but it is a longer one, and who doesn't love wingman curtis and flustered shy trentski 😃 here is chapter 1, but all other chaps will be posted on ao3. pls enjoy and do tell me what you think!

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The new café that Curtis suggests is only a 15-minute drive from AXA, so after their last meetings and quick showers they take off in his Range Rover and make it there in ten. The owner, he says, is a friend of the Jones family, a former footballer who took the constant chiding of his nutritionists to heart and built a second career from it, and Curtis promises Trent that it’s the best combination of chilled fruit, yogurt, granola and whatever other superfood magic that he’s ever tasted.

But it’s not that Trent needs the backstory that his teammate gives or really much convincing at all - after training his stomach feels as big and empty as a house, and, even still, he figures he deserves it. The past months have been less than kind to him, and closer to brutal: the team’s performance has continued to nosedive in what by Liverpool standards was already an aggressively average season, and he’s still deciding if he’s moved on from the mutual but still painful breakup with his long-term girlfriend two months ago. “Self-care” is a foreign thing he’s been trying to practice at the insistence of his mum and Hendo, since they claim it’s okay to let himself have nice things, to not always push harder when the going is already tough.

A quick, sugary pick-me-up can’t possibly do too much more damage.

A little bell chimes as they step in the door and the air that greets them is pleasantly cool, and sweet. Dark purples and greens blend with browns and oranges on the walls in a swirling pattern, and rustic wood tables with high stools are arranged in rows from one side of the space to the other. There’s a couple sat together at a spot near the window, twin purple cups in front of them, and a single, serious-looking man on a laptop near the back, but the line to order and the self-serve kiosks are both empty. Curtis walks up to the counter, as in any room, like he lives there, and has been there a million times.

“The açai one’s gonna blow your mind, lad, I swear to ya. Plus, the place is Black-owned and that, supportin the community.”

Trent laughs once before settling his hands in the pockets of his sweats and looking up to the menu. There are too many options, really, but at the moment his stomach is non-discriminating.

“Yeah, it better. Won’t shut up about it, you. What’s good- the bowl or smoothie?”

“Hold on – Y/N? Is that you?”

Trent’s question goes unanswered, and smothered by the sound of Curtis’ yell. His voice lifts across the space, shouting the unfamiliar name another time, and again Trent is astounded by just how loud his teammate’s voice can be. That level of volume is helpful on the pitch but embarrassing in public, and Trent feels the eyes of at least one of the patrons on them.

“Curtis? Curtis Jones? Oh my days, one second–”

The ceramic counter holding the ingredients curves around into a small kitchen entrance on the left, and from where he’s standing, Trent can’t see what, or whoever it is that Curtis sees. But the mutual excitement in the voices can’t be missed.

“No way! Get over here!”

Curtis shouts, bouncing on his toes. A moment later, a blur of movement in the shape of a girl flies in from the kitchen, and has Curtis pulled into a tight hug. His teammate reciprocates, and Trent can see his shoulder muscles working to tighten the squeeze, even with the width of counter between them.

“Long time no see, Curt. Was starting to think you were something we dreamed up, only ever see you on the telly.”

Trent can soon confirm the voice does belong to a girl, and on the first glance he gets of her face it is slightly squished against Curtis’ shoulder, but painted in a look of open, undisguised surprise and happiness. It’s the kind of strong emotion he would only ever show on the pitch, almost never in a public place like this, and it almost feels like too much to witness such vulnerability from someone he doesn’t yet know, and who’s heartfelt reunion he seems to be third-wheeling on. He would look away, but his eyes betray him and zoom in, already busy taking inventory without consulting him first.

They start at her skin, which is glowy and smooth, and the same color he likes his tea, on the off day where he does drink a cup. He thinks it’s probably poor to compare a woman to a beverage, in fact, he knows it is, but blames it on his grumbling stomach and moves on. His gaze locks next on her lips, because she and Curtis are speaking again, loudly.

“Could say the same to you, can’t I, been ages since I’ve seen ya! And I’m loving the hair.”

“Yeah, wanted to try something different. It’s been a few years since I’m growing them.”

Her hair, Trent notices when he pulls his eyes from her face, is in locs like his, but lighter brown with amber highlights strewn throughout. They swing about her shoulders as she moves, so that she regularly has to push the strands back behind her ears, away from her face. The familiarity of the movement triggers a thing in his brain that yells “Me too!”, and his eyes travel the rest of her, suddenly hungry to find more things he recognizes. The first are her eyes, which are a warm, chocolatey brown, maybe two shades lighter than his own. The close second is that he finds her unpredictably, and undeniably attractive.

That feeling inside him that went dormant two months ago starts to fidget.

“How is everythin, though? Uni? And how’s the fam?” Curtis asks.

The two of them continue catching up with excitement that hasn’t yet worn off, and Trent stands to the side, trying not to intrude and trying not to be awkward. In a way he hopes is sly, he continues scrutinizing her features while intermittently looking at his shoes, up at the artsy menu board where the offerings are, impressively, engraved rather printed, and briefly at his phone.

He should, he supposes, listen politely to their conversation, try and contribute, but in truth he only checks back in after a loud burst of laughter. She's covering her mouth with one hand, and Curtis is straightening up from being almost doubled over.

“Whoo, I had nearly forgotten about that, you know! Your brother used to be absolutely mad. But hey, I was round here last week and didn’t see you. Are you workin here now?”

“Yeah, I am.” She pulls at the cafe emblem on the corner of her mauve t-shirt. “I’ll be working the front end of things while we’re still small. Only been at it a few days now, but Dad’s made sure I’m working hard.”

“I don’t doubt it, but you tell the big man he ought to hire some more staff, ‘cause me, I’ll be telling the whole city about this place. Dragged Trentski here as soon as I could, just to show him. Me first convert.”

The sound of his nickname evaporates whatever was left of his distraction, and he steps forward a little, as if finally being invited into the conversation. He looks up and finds she’s looking back at him.

“Alright?” She asks, smiling. “I’m Y/N.”

She waits for him to introduce himself even though if she’s a friend of Curtis and a footballer’s daughter, she surely knows who he is. Or does she? Either way, he decides he likes her for it.

“I’m Trent. Nice to meet you.”

“Good to meet you, too, Trent. Let me get Curt situated and then I’ll be right with you, yeah?” She smiles again, and it isn’t one of those plastic, forced customer service smiles, but one that lasts, like she means it. The light from it floods her eyes, and makes them even shinier, independent of the artificial lighting buzzing above them. In it’s glow, his chest does that stupid thing where it feels filled up with too much air.

He watches as she moves down the line and makes his teammate’s bowl with laser focus, trying to guess if what he’s sensing is just politeness, if her smile lasts as long every time. When the flash of white does appear behind her lips again, and twice more before she calculates Curtis’ total at the register, he gets too distracted by it to count the seconds.

“What would you like?” Too quickly she’s in front of him again, hands poised around a brown paper bowl.

“Em, yeah,” He clears his throat. “A bowl, please. Not a smoothie. The açai one?”

“Good choice.” She nods, while scooping portions of the purple fruit-yogurt mix into the container. “Any special add-ins for you today? Plant protein, energy, antioxidants?”

The health-food buzzwords set off signals in his head, and he gives the answer that would make his nutritionist proud.

“Need all of it, honestly.”

She laughs again, but it feels different this time, since he’s the one who made it happen, not Curtis.

“Good boy. Bet your nutritionist loves you. Which fruits?”

Trent freezes a second, affected in equal amounts by the “good boy” and the feeling that she’d read his mind. She pushes the right side of her locs back behind her ear in the silence.

“What about banana? It goes really well with the açai.” She offers.

“Yeah, banana’s good.”

She nods again and uses metal tongs to arrange the pale yellow pieces artfully over the yogurt. He goes on, choosing available fruits from the names listed on the clear glass shield, and trying not to stumble, again. The bowl gradually fills up, and it’s a smooth exchange – it’s much easier to do this, to talk and focus, he realizes, when her face is turned down – until they reach the last two options.

“Pineapple?”

“Em, nah, no pineapple, it-” The next bit of information he adds not because it’s particularly important, but because their interaction is almost over, and he doesn’t want it to be. “-makes me tongue feel—”

“All tingly? Yeah, that’s a thing!”

Her eyes light up as she exclaims and to Trent it seems her face sudddenly changes over — there’s more color in her cheeks, and vibration in her voice. But maybe he’s imagining it. She flits the tongs through the air as she continues.

“There’s an enzyme in pineapple, bromelain, that breaks down proteins, and you’ve got a bunch of those on your tongue and cheeks. It’s what makes it so acidic, and makes it burn a little to eat, but it’s interesting, cause, bromelain is also really good for you? Helps treat inflammation, and indigestion-“

“Not now, Y/N, just give the lad his food! If he wanted a lecture he would have gone uni with you.” Curtis teases from near the register, looking up from where he’d been on his phone, waiting. She graces him with a beautiful and dramatic roll of her eyes, but when she turns back to Trent they’re sincerely apologetic.

“I get a little carried away with the nutrition thing, forgive me. It’s nice to have Curt here, though, to keep me humble. Coconut?”

Trent wants to say, “No, it’s okay, I don’t mind it” but all he manages is a kind smile. He could care less now if she adds the shredded bits of white to his order or not, but he wants her to keep looking at him, for the excited glow on her face from when she’d mentioned food science to return.

“Em, yeah. Thank you.”

Minutes later, their bowls are bagged and paid for and they’re heading towards the door, fond words of parting on all their lips.

“You all come back, okay?” Y/N probes, pulling out from another Curtis, cross-counter hug. “And I’ll tell me brother and Dad you came in, Curt, they’ll be buzzin.”

“Oh for sure, I’ll send him a text as well. It’s been so nice seeing ya.”

“Same. And hope to see you again, too, Trent. Not just on the telly.” She waves at him, more a wiggle of her fingers, and it should look silly but somehow it isn’t. He wiggles his own back, and hopes it works for him too.

In the car, they dig in, setting aside the plastic lids unceremoniously on the dash. Curtis is obnoxious about the cleanliness and quality of many things, his clothes, trainers, and phone screen, but strangely his car isn’t one of them.

The bowl Trent ordered turns out to be far better than average. The yogurt is perfectly tart and tangy, the fruit crisp and juicy and the açai deliciously purple. He still hasn’t got the girl from the counter, Y/N, out of his head.

He’s four bites in when he finally asks the question bumping around his brain the past five minutes.

“How’d you know her again?”

“Who? Y/N? Her brother’s me mate. She was a year older, but we all grew up together in Toxteth. Why?”

“No reason.”

“Do you fancy her?”

“No-what lad?” Trent screws his face his up, unsure how indignant he truly is, and though he saw the question coming. Curtis only shrugs.

“I said, do you fancy her? I saw your face while yous was talkin, and you almost never ask after girls. Just pull with your mind games or telepathy or whatever it is you do.”

Trent gets a mouthful of coconut to formulate his answer, and the taste makes his stomach feel funny. He remembers why he doesn’t usually go for it.

“No, I mean, I think she’s good-lookin, yeah, but I don’t fancy her. Don’t even know her.”

“S’not hard to change that- I could put in a word for ya. Know she’s real busy, real serious about school and that, but you’re you, innit. Trent Alexander-Arnold. Be mad not to go for it.”

Trent lets the drama of Curtis’ compliment slide off him with a shake of his head. But the “you’re you” sticks; it’s what he’s been telling himself the two month’s he’s been girlfriend-less and on a season high not-winning streak, sitting middle of the table with indications to fall. He’ll keep on repeating it, or hearing it repeated to him, until it feels true again.

“You don’t feel weird about that? Since she’s your mate and all?”

“Why would I? You’re both sound people, better than sound. And if chattin to her gets rid of that kicked-dog look you’ve been wearin the past month, brother, I’ll plan the weddin.”

“I haven’t been— there won’t be-“ Trent splutters, before resigning to the chaos that is his closest teammate and friend. “I’ll keep the offer in mind, lad. But let me finish me smoothie bowl first, yeah? Let’s start there.”

“Okay, okay. You’ll remember I told you so.”

Trent keeps eating, lets Curtis switch the subject, and it's not until he’s home, scrolling the lists of Liverpool-based Instagram profiles containing the name “Y/N”, that he questions just what would be the subject of his friend’s “I told you so” — Y/N or the smoothie. He decides to treat him to another one tomorrow to find out.

[lalal-99]

of new friendship {h.j.} | track 3

©June 2023, March 2024 by lalal-99

Han Jisung x afab!reader | trope: slice of life, coming of age | word count: 3.8k

Synopsis: The one where you go to a Jackson Wang party.

Check Chapter Overview for complete list of warnings

Note: As promised, this chapter is much shorter than the last. The next will, again, have 6k, but after that, chapters will be shorter (I think). Also, I wrote the most angsty and heartbreaking chapter yesterday and I can't wait to post it when it's due. Hope you enjoy this :)

Tumblr works on a reblog system. Please consider reblogging this post so that it can reach more people. Thank you :)

Please don't flag as mature or repost this story - Thank You

You couldn’t remember the last party you had been to.

A real party, with crates of alcohol, loud music, and drunk people, that was.

Throughout your early teen years it had been a regular part of your week. Getting drunk, befriending strangers and making mistakes. You left no party within reach unattended, no matter the people or their willingness to provide alcohol to minors. You had figured out ways to always get what you wanted in the end. And what you wanted at that time was to drink away any and every one of your brain cells.

With a little luck it would be the very one that made you remember the grief of losing a parent.

Whenever you told people about those days, it was as an explanation to why you rarely drank now. Most people also thought Jisung had helped you overcome that part of your life. It would have fit right into their version of a romantic love story—girl sad, girl meets boy, boy fixes girl. Happy end.

Most people couldn’t have been more wrong.

Jisung, like yourself, was plagued by his very own share of suffocating pain. And he too wanted to forget, desperately. In meeting you, he found someone who was right as troubled, maybe even more so. Thus, a toxic relationship formed, the two of you soon becoming the life of every party you attended.

Any party you went to, you became the centre of. Be it a friend’s party, a friend’s sibling’s party, or a stranger’s party one of your mutual friends had heard about god-knows-where. Surrounded by a crowd of people, both your age and older, you became the main source of entertainment. Making people laugh and providing them with memories they wouldn’t forget. Because which other two 14-year-olds could keg-stand and funnel like grown-ups?

You weren’t proud of it, but at the same time, it was as much part of your story as everything before and after. The darkest part, filled with pain, rage, and the simple desire to forget, yes. But a part never less.

Those times were long gone; life had caught up to you at some point.

Despite your party-animal-past, a shiver ran down your back when the frat house appeared on the horizon.

People gathered on the porch, on the stairs leading up to it, and on the lawn, smoking, drinking, and making out. Whatever stereotypical frat-party scenario you could have come up with played out right in front of your eyes.

You lingered for a moment, watching the scene unfold. Unsure how to approach the evening or if you even still wanted to. Hadn’t it been for Yuqi taking matters into her own two hands and dragging you inside... Well, you would have turned around and chosen the safety of your room instead.

Your partying days sure had passed.

When you entered the house, a thick veil of warmth and sweat hit you, a breath of nausea taking over your being. A sea of people was stumbling from room to room, up the stairs or towards you, in a desperate search for fresh air. If you planned on staying here for the next few hours, you’d need a drink. Or five.

Yuqi turned towards you, excitement evident on her face, “Wanna look for Jisung?”

“Drinks first!” you yelled back, her nod telling you she had understood. Surprising, seeing someone had cranked the bass right up to 11.

With your hand in hers, Yuqi pulled you through the crowd until you reached the kitchen. It was less crowded than the rest of the house, meaning you had a safe haven you could come to if things got too much. Judging from the tension in your back not even five minutes in, you’d need it at some point.

You didn’t pay too much attention to the people around you. The couple making out on the counter or the group chatting on the other side of the room. Instead, your gaze focused on the beers in the ice-filled sink. A sigh of relief escaped you as the cold, bitter liquid ran down your throat. The first half of the bottle, you emptied in that initial gulp.

You must have needed this more than you noticed.

“Impressive,” Yuqi praised you, her lips wrapping around her own bottle for a less eager sip. “Remind me never to face you in a drink-off.”

“Trust me, my drink-off days are far behind me.”

Your voice startled one of the people standing by the side, a familiar face snapping towards you. “Y/N?”

You found Hwasa leaning against the counter, a surprised expression taking over her features.

“What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” Your roomie had told you she’d be going out tonight too. Although you hadn’t expected her to be at the same party you had been dragged into. Pulling you into a hug, a few of her locks tickled your nose. “Jisung got invited by an old friend.”

“And you brought my new favourite person! Hi!” Hwasa greeted Yuqi with another bone-crushing hug. To an outsider, it must have looked like you hadn’t seen each other for years rather than yesterday.

“Don’t call me your favourite person, or I will cry.”

The smile on Yuqi’s face spread from one ear to the other as she let go of your roommate. After a few shorts hours spent with her, she had opened up to you about how difficult it usually was for her to make friends. Similar to Jisung, her quirky persona more times than not scared people off. Befriending not one but two people within the first week on campus, her happiness was understandable.

“So, who’s the mystery friend that invited you here? Wait, don’t tell me! I’m gonna guess. Is it Chris? He knows, like, everyone.” You shook your head, never having heard that name in your life. Scratching her chin with two perfectly manicured fingernails, Hwasa pondered. “Matthew? He’s been around for a while.” Again, you didn’t know who she was talking about.

This game could have taken forever. There were about 300 people who could have invited you, judging from the crowd inside this house. Though the fun was cut short when the door to the kitchen opened, and a familiar face entered the scene. Just like you remembered, he was followed by a crowd of eager people. Ever the centre of everything.

“No way! Am I dreaming? Y/N! I can’t believe you came.”

You startled when he pulled you into a hug, wrapping your arms around him with reluctance. You hadn’t seen him in over two years, and this was how he decided to greet you? A hug? Thinking about it, you had probably hugged him only a handful of times in your lifetime. Your birthday, maybe. Or Christmas.

“Hi, Jackson.”

He let go of you, momentarily staying in your proximity before stepping back.

He looked good, face clean-shaven and hair pulled back by a baseball cap. His clothes told the same story they always did. Rich guy with swagger, Gucci earrings somehow accentuating his baggy clothing. Jackson, for all you remembered, had always dressed like this. Drenching his aura in handsome.

“How is everyone? How’s the fam?”

“Everyone is perfect. Healthy, happy.”

Despite your best efforts to sound nonchalant, you couldn’t help the undertone of spite. Jackson seemed to understand the secret message, nodding as his lips pressed into a thin line.

You wanted to be nice to him as you were aware he was a good person at heart. But after everything, you couldn’t help being a little bitter still.

Hwasa—oblivious to a fault—interrupted the awkward shift this conversation had taken and you silently thanked the heavens. “You know each other?”

“What? You do, too?” Jackson replied, pointing between the two of you, ever the Spiderman-meme. “How?”

“We’re roommates.”

Emptying your first bottle, you pulled a second one out of the sink, opening it on the marble of the kitchen island. A party trick from back in your heyday you never quite unlearned.

“What? That’s crazy!” Jackson seemed genuinely surprised. He pulled his baseball cap off his head and repositioned it over a few loose strands. “Small world.”

“How about you?” you threw the question back to them.

“We’re—” Jackson cut himself off, eyes meeting Hwasa’s as they toasted their bottles. A quick wink, and he finished his contextually unbelievable description of their relationship. “Friends.”

Hwasa choked on her drink, laughing at his words as if it was the funniest thing she had heard all year. “That’s the understatement of the year.”

You remembered Yuqi, who was leaning against the counter beside you, perfectly quiet as she listened. Probably the quietest you had seen her since you met her. And that included the courses you visited together.

“Fine. We used to hook up. Happy?” Jackson corrected his previous statement. The wink he had sent Hwasa made way more sense now.

“Almost. You seem to have forgotten the part in which you fell hopelessly in love with me.”

Your eyes focused on the two of them. Could Hwasa be the girl? No way! That would have been too big of a coincidence.

“Okay, you are blowing that way out of proportion.” Chuckling at her words, Jackson positioned himself so that he was now facing her. “I had a little crush on you.”

“Exactly. What I said.”

Huffing, Jackson shook his head, pulling Hwasa into a side hug of sorts. Good thing Wheein wasn’t around to witness this flirtatious moment. Her absence explained why Hwasa even let someone come close to her like this. Her girlfriend’s presence seemed to put her a little on edge. Like Hwasa was in constant hope she wouldn’t do something to offend Wheein. Or, God forbid, make her think she was anything but faithful.

“We broke things off, and now—”

“We’re besties,” Hwasa ended his statement, patting his chest as they smiled at each other.

It couldn’t have been silent for more than five seconds before Jackson unwrapped his arm from his bestie. He fetched himself a fresh bottle out of the sink.

“Anyways,” throwing you and Yuqi a kind smile, Jackson turned to his friends. They were still gathered behind him, talking over each other with loud laughter. “It was nice seeing you again. I hope you and Sungie have a great night. Let me know if you need anything.”

Making his way out of the room, he left you to yourselves, sipping on your bottle like you hadn’t just emptied the last one. “Good luck finding him if you need anything. Jackson won’t be in the same room for longer than a minute.”

There was no need to tell you that.

At every party he had ever thrown, Jackson had always been nowhere and everywhere, all at once. You distinctly remembered searching for an hour once before eventually finding him where you had started. How he did it, no idea, but he sure was a pro at it.

“Let me get back to my friends. I’ll see you later?”

Nodding, you turned towards Yuqi, who had about 100 questions dancing on the tip of her tongue. The second you were on your own, she erupted like a waterfall.

“What was that?”

“What was what?” As if she would buy that. There was no way you didn’t know what she was talking about. Your body language had been very see-through throughout that whole interaction. Arms crossed, lips tight, brows cocked.

“Don’t play me, bitch!” A term of endearment, you had learned. “There was so much tension, I thought I was in Riverdale for a sec.”

You laughed at her words, shaking your head. “I don’t really want to talk about it right now.”

“Alright.” Yuqi accepted, but not before getting at least one last statement out in the open. “He’s smoking hot, but whatever he did to you, I would not want to be him.”

The two of you left the kitchen on a seemingly impossible quest to find your boyfriend. You forced your way through the crowd until you reached a less dense section of the room. Only then you noticed a group of people a little further back, right by a window.

You motioned for Yuqi to follow you as you approached the couches. Your boyfriend’s mop of brown hair remained the centre of your vision.

Jisung was deep in conversation with a boy beside him while Felix listened to them. Apart from them, a handful of other boys spread over the couches. The ones that didn’t fit, sat comfortable on chairs. Seeing Jisung in a sea of people he didn’t know, talking like it’s all he was born to do, you almost didn’t want to intrude.

“Bro! Babe Alert!”

The boy next to Jisung was the first to notice you approaching. It took a lot in you to push your amusement at his obliviousness down.

As Jisung’s head followed his friend’s gaze, he gasped out a loud “Yah!” before giving the boy next to him a slap against the bulky arm.

“Dude, that’s my girlfriend.”

“Oops.”

All eyes were on you as you waved at the group. You introduced yourself while sitting on the armrest beside your boyfriend. Yuqi joined your other side, and introduced herself before leaning against you.

“I’m happy you’re here,” Jisung confessed, hand coming to your thigh, squeezing it in adoration.

“You are?”

When you looked at Jisung, you noticed the guy beside him, eyes threatening to bulk out of their sockets. Staring at Yuqi, no less. After a few seconds, he realised he’d been caught and blushed. By pulling Felix into a conversation, he hoped to cover up his interest in your friend.

The girl in question was too deep in her interaction with one of the boys on the chairs to notice. He soon offered her half of his seat, which she accepted while discussing his choice of—footwear? She really seemed to know her way around the closet.

“Yes. Because someone didn’t believe you were real.” Jisung’s eyes darted towards a boy on the other couch whose blonde tresses were pulled into a loose ponytail. “What do you say now, Hyunjin? My hot girlfriend is real.”

“That’s how you describe me to people? Hot?” You didn’t know whether to be mad or flattered.

“Just so we’re clear,” the boy, Hyunjin, chimed in, “it wasn’t the hot part I didn’t believe. It was the whole concept of a girlfriend I was questioning. But you are real, apparently. So I owe Felix ten bucks.”

Laughing at Hyunjin’s cluelessness, your boyfriend couldn’t hide his amusement. “Felix already met her, stupid! You got pranked good, dude.”

Hyunjin’s jaw was on the floor at the new discovery, gaze dramatically cutting to the boy in question.

As the two of them exchanged money and ridicule, you caressed Jisung’s thigh in adoration. A sense of pride filled you at how he had somehow already found a way out of his shell. University seemed to have a positive impact on him, the first week progressing smoother than you had anticipated. Regardless of how he made so many friends this early on, you were glad he did.

“So, who are your friends?”

Gaze wandering through the circle, Jisung introduced the boys one after another. Starting from the one sitting next to Yuqi.

“That’s Seungmin. He’s an English major.”

The boy conversed with Yuqi as though they had known each other for years. He had puppy-brown hair, parted in the middle and cut even on all sides in a fashionable bowl-cut. Two strands of light-blonde framed his face, rounding off an otherwise innocent appearance. His clothes were simple, t-shirt and cargo pants hanging loose on his lean shape.

“Next to him is Jeongin. He’s studying to become—something biology. Honestly, I didn’t understand what he does. It’s all about mitochondria and other boring stuff.”

A little more on the shy side, Jeongin followed Seungmin and Yuqi’s dialogue instead of creating his own. Like Seungmin, he clothed casual. Standing out was his thick pink hair, which contrasted his initial timid demeanour. A something-biology student with pink hair? Very eye-catching.

“On the couch, that’s Hyunjin, Minho and Chris. Hyunjin is studying art history, and Minho majors in dancing. Chris is a Music major.”

Hyunjin, the one who got pranked out of ten bucks—by Felix, out of all people—was clad in a more fashionable outfit. His grey jeans he had paired with a white button-up, a multitude of jewellery decorating his fingers and neck. Minho wore his hair in a lavender tone, a tight-fitting shirt and black leather pants. Showing off his very toned legs—a dancer, indeed. And Chris. Well, he liked his arms the size of logs, apparently. They were an unexpected contrast to his cutesy laugh, nose scrunching up as he joked with Minho.

“And the boy who can’t keep his eyes off Yuqi, that’s Changbin. Sports major. If you tell him your weight, he will send you a video of him benching it.”

“Yah, I don’t do that for just anyone. Consider yourself lucky,” Changbin interjected. Thankfully, he had only overheard the second part of Jisung’s description.

Ignoring his friend’s words, Jisung concluded his introductory round. “And you already know Felix. He’s studying to become the best teacher in the whole wide world.”

Felix ignored the mocking tone in his friend’s voice, only one of the reasons rendering him perfect for a teaching position. He stood calm whenever needed, not a word taken out of proportion. That much you had already learned from hanging out with him a handful of times. It wasn’t hard to believe, he handled children the same way he did his drunk friends.

“I’m glad you have so many friends with majors now. Maybe, they can help you decide on yours.”

Rolling his eyes at the subject you somehow couldn’t let go, Jisung pulled you from the armrest onto his lap. A tiny yelp escaped your throat, his action surprising. The two of you usually didn’t exchange PDA like that. His advances, therefore, you understood as a sign of the amount of alcohol he had already consumed.

“You will never let this go, will you?”

“Not until I know you’re not just going to university because I’m going.”

You had been gifted with so much drive to go to uni, study, become a manager. Sometimes, you forgot that some people weren’t as lucky to know what they wanted to do with their lives. Your boyfriend was one of those people.

Sure Jisung had hobbies like singing, sports and the occasional guitar session. But other than that, he was pretty clueless about his future. The two of you used to joke about it. Kidding how all the ambition and focus had gone to his sister and once he was born, there was nothing left of it. An innocent joke for as long as it hadn’t been reality.

Now that you were here and for the months leading up to your move, the joke was underlined with more seriousness.

For the longest time, Jisung hadn’t been sure he even wanted to go to university. He had debated going to work right away. Learn something handy, like electric work or nursing. That he didn’t even know a direction to go in didn’t make the decision any easier. In the end, he figured that while you were studying to go into management, he might as well join you. If anything, it could potentially give him an overview of possible fields of work.

After many discussions about your joined future and his role in it, he seemed to be over it. He wanted to explore his options—that’s what he had told you when you two enrolled. And yes, you were proud of him for getting his grades up in the last year of High School. Even if only to share this adventure with you. Though you still needed him to be a little more serious about it. Otherwise, university was four years of him exploring, ending in no degree. Four years wasted, in your eyes.

“I just want to make sure you’re thinking about it.”

“Right now, the only thing I’m thinking about, is taking you to one of the empty bedrooms upstairs.”

His breath fanned over your neck as he whispered into your ear. Goosebumps rose all over your skin, his fingers gracing over your exposed hip. You hadn’t even noticed how your shirt had ridden up before his careful touch. Repositioning yourself to sit sideways on his lap, you bit your lip at his suggestion. Your hand came around his neck, fingers running through the hair at the back of it.

“We just got here,” you chuckled as his arms wrapped around your thighs.

“So?”

“Let’s enjoy the party for a bit, yeah?” Jisung knew a final decision when he heard one, a pout overtaking his face. Good thing you had already taken measures to soften the blow. Years of being with each other gave you the confidence to play your plan as you intended. “I might know a way to make the wait worth our while.”

You smirked as you retrieved a round object from your pocket and pushed it into Jisung’s hand on your thigh. A kiss to his cheek concealed your action, his eyes widening once he realised what you had handed him. A remote control. And not just any old remote control. Connecting the dots, Jisung soon understood that it controlled the matching vibrator inside you. The very same one you had bought for his most recent birthday.

Happy Birthday, indeed, and to both of you.

Judging from his expression, you figured your plan to make his patience worthwhile erected the awaited reaction. Then again, that could have also been him pocking you from below.

Next Chapter >>>

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[castielslostwings]

Please help me tell people about my book!

Hi! I'm publishing a book! It's HERE, just in time for Christmas!! It's GAY!! It's romantic!!! It's HOT! It has firefighters and background sapphic romance, and is exciting AF!!!

I'm very excited, too!

Both U.S. domestic and international friends can order shipped Paperbacks from me directly via my Ko-Fi shop (retailers take less of a cut): https://ko-fi.com/castielslostwings/shop Or you can order on amazon directly, this is the only way to get the KINDLE ebook option: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1945687126

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And WILL be available at other retailers soon!

Here's the thing: I had a pretty solid platform on Twitter, but since Elon took over, a lot of my followers left, the algorithm crashed, and the whole thing might go under. I don't have the same reach on other platforms, so I need some help! Please share this post if you like GAY SHIT and BOOKS and helping indie content creators be successful!!! Please follow me or check out my ko-fi for updates! Thanks!!! Here's my pitch, hope you like it:

"Fire & Ice": The flaming hot queer romance novel where a foray into BDSM helps two best friends find themselves, each other, and what it really means to burn. Summary: "Firefighter Tripp Truett has somehow tumbled into a whole new kind of relationship with his quirky paramedic best friend, Lee, but mutual relief from their high-stress jobs quickly develops into something more. With all the missed signals and crossed wires, can these two ever figure out that they're so much closer to being on the same page than they think?"

**************************************** About the author (info dump ahoy!!!!) :

I'm Robin, sometimes known as Wings! I'm a 36-year-old, queer, autistic, disabled mom of 2 humans and 5 senior rescue dogs, former R.N. & paramedic. I'm a hardcore fangirl and a proud fanfic writer (and reader), and while I know some people will judge me for that, I am not ashamed! I started writing as a hobby after becoming physically disabled and unable to work as an RN. Fanfic gave me an audience and an outlet, gifted me purpose and hope again. Transformative fiction is FUN! It fosters creativity and passion, heals wounds, and makes people happy. If someone wants to discredit me for that, then perhaps they aren't the audience I'm seeking.

Ultimately, I know I'm taking a risk, but since people seem to enjoy my fics, this book is my attempt to try and make ends meet through original fiction! I know some people WILL discredit me. But I'm always about being myself and speaking on what I feel matters: Fanfic should be legitimized as a creative medium. I assure you, friends—the thousands of hours I've spent on my fanworks are as REAL as it gets. The intersection of disparaging fanfic + sexism/misogyny can't be overstated—women (esp queer women)'s unpaid work is often treated as a "hobby," not worthy of uplifting. I'm here to uplift! The risk is worth it—I would have nothing without fanfic & I'm proud. Younger creators shouldn't feel shame about writing/reading fanfic. We should ALL approach it as a legitimate medium. In fact, MOST new media these days is transformative "fanwork" of SOME kind, whether it's inspired by, based on, or outright rebooting existing worlds.

Plus, we queer folk simply deserve to see our stories in the mainstream media and to see the characters we fall in love, identify with, and root for to get their happily ever afters.

TL;DR: I'm keeping my name and history. Hopefully, I'll be successful in original fiction, but if not, I'll still be a fangirl. Please consider supporting me + other creators attempting to dip into original works. Follow or subscribe to my ko-fi for previews, updates, access to my discord community where I share exclusive content, and more: https://ko-fi.com/castielslostwings FIRE & ICE IS NOW AVAILABLE THROUGH MULTIPLE PLATFORMS! Ko-Fi subscribers will have the option to buy signed copies & merch bundles! The link to purchase will also be posted there first.

A MAJOR thank you to my friends, editors, and to everyone who in my server for supporting and encouraging me to put myself out there and try something new. Love you guys so much. <3 Thank you to @chaoticdean for the beautiful cover. Many more thank yous to come. P.S. If you are reading this and know anyone with a platform who might be interested in receiving a free copy in exchange for promo (only if they enjoy, ofc), please holler at me, I can use all the help I can get!

<3 Wings

[skullamity]

I don't make a whole lot of personal posts on here anymore, but yesterday was @femonologue and I's 17th wedding anniversary. We bucked the trend of forgetting it until like a week after it occurred (thank you adhd) and actually made plans (and this pasta holy shit it was good).

I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I would like to take a minute to reflect on how much a relationship that lasts this long is work. Not to scare anyone off, but the two of us made the decision to get married at age 22 and of all the friends who got married in the few years after that, we are one of two couples that I know of who have not been divorced and/or remarried one or more times.

It was crazy lucky that we ended up being as compatible as we are, and it has not always been easy. I am confident in making the statement that neither of us knew who we were as people OR as adults when we tied the knot, as evidenced by the fact that I came out as trans and transitioned in 2016, and that she came out and started transitioning last year. Those are big changes that really threw both of us for the loop, and I understand that a lot of relationships where even just one of the participants transitions have pretty high failure rates for an infinite number of reasons.

I guess if I could give any advice about being married, it would be this:

- don't get married before you're ready, even if you feel like pressure you're getting from family members to not 'live in sin' seems reasonable. Breaking up because you lived together first is messy but cheaper and less traumatic than a divorce.

- LIVE TOGETHER FIRST! I know so many relationships that were great for years while the participants lived separately, and then fell apart after they moved in together and became acquainted with all of each other's annoying habits and clashing ideas on how to maintain a household. Don't let your incompatibilities be a surprise for after the wedding, move in together first and try and come to a mutually agreeable way of living when there's less pressure for you to figure your collective shit out.

- kids are stressful, never have them as a gamble to "make things work" because I have never seen them not make things WORSE when the parents split. Have a straightforward talk about how many kids you want, when you wanna have them and how you want to raise them before you are even married, and if you cannot see eye to eye or find yourself hoping your partner will change their mind about key points of contention in the future, STOP. It is okay to break up and stop wasting each other's time!

- never get married because you think you will never find anyone else who wants to marry you. You will, and you do not have to settle for someone who you aren't even sure likes you as a person 90% of the time. It is NEVER too late to call off a wedding. It doesn't matter if you have down payments on services or venues, or sent out save the dates or invitations. It isn't too late even if you've accepted shower gifts or the wedding is next fukken week--it's embarassing to call it off that close to the line, but it's better than trapping yourself for years because you feel like it's too late to back out. I promise you that your friends and family want you to be happy and would not like it if you only married someone shitty or incompatible because you thought they would judge you for calling it off the night before. They WILL understand, and if they don't? You can re-examine your relationship with them, too, while you're taking out the trash.

- we all bring our own baggage and traumas into relationships, and the only way for them to mesh is communication. I NEED to address things right away because my brain just does not settle into cooldown mode if we take a fifteen minute breather or decide to sleep on it, and my wife NEEDS space to cool down before we talk things out, and it took a lot of actual communication to figure out where we were not meshing in these instances and how to work around that. If you want things to work out, you HAVE to talk about it, and if talking about it is not productive or makes things worse, then couples therapy is NOT a death knell for your relationship and you should try it.

- Being married is learning to put someone else first in ways you couldn't imagine. When I came out as trans, even though I knew we were solid and had a fairly good idea about how she would react, I still made it clear from the get-go that I knew that being married to a dude was NOT what she signed up for, and that if we needed to split for that reason, I understood. Did it get me called a dumbass? Yes. But did she understand where I was coming from and what I meant and why I was offering? Also yes.

- T4T marriages rule, and if you are trans and set on bagging a cis person, think very carefully about why you want that and if it will actually get you what you want. I can recognize that being with a cis person who accepts you as your gender can feel validating and reinforce the need to be and feel normal in a hundred different ways, but if that's the main reason you have mentally nixed the idea of ever dating another trans person, you have some stuff to work though and might wanna get that sorted before you marry anyone.

- you've got to be able to think of yourselves as a team, even when you disagree. Personally I have always pictured us as goofy old timey black and white cartoon bankrobbers with bandit masks, one of us driving the getaway carriage full of sacks with crudely drawn dollar signs on them while the other cackles and throws lit sticks of dynamite at the pursuing sherriff and deputy. Even if we are disagreeing, that image instantly makes me laugh and take whatever I was mad about a little less seriously.

Finally, I am using the app and accidentally clicked the poll option thinking it was a bullet point list and now I can't figure out how to get rid of it, so I'll take this opportunity to ask the most important question:

Here are pictures of how ours turned out:

I could not have imagined how delicious these turned out, eating it was transcendent, neither of will ever be the same.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hello helloo! i just read through your modern au and I'm in love (shocker), i wanted to ask if you'd give some more info on poppy? apologies if there's already a dedicated post to her, looking is not my specialty

there is not! i will gladly ramble!

~

in this au, Poppy is slightly less fearful than canon. this is for several reasons! 1) years of therapy. 2) anxiety meds. 3) teenage years of her friends dragging her out for Shenanigans & hyping her tf up! but she's still a worrywart! she's very cautious! she can and Will see the bad/dengerous side to every situation. but! now she has the tools to not only cope with but combat her intrusive thoughts & fears <3

i think i mentioned it before but she Did Not Realize she was trans until highschool! specifically, when she met Sally! Poppy had to stop by the theater department after school for some reason or another, and Sally noticed her looking longingly at the costume dresses (Poppy thought she was alone lol)

and while Poppy was mortified at being caught, Sally was delighted. they only knew each other in passing and from reputation but Sally started holding up dresses to Poppy and complimenting how well they suited her. (i could joke about how Sally could sniff out the lesbian in her before Poppy even knew she was a girl!) Poppy, flustered by the sudden attention and apparent acceptance, didn't know how to handle it and fled. then started avoiding Sally in the halls. but! eventually she had to go back for Insert Reason Here, and ofc Sally was there. this time around Sally is a little gentler and less assertive, but manages to coax Poppy into checking out the more ~feminine~ costumes again. thus begins their little meetings where Poppy tries on costumes and Sally is her biggest hypeman

it takes a while for things to Click in Poppy's mind! it isn't until she tries on a dress that Sally custom-made for her, wearing some makeup and a wig, that Poppy has her oh moment. unfortunately, some of their ~mutual friends~ (Wally, Barnaby, Howdy) walk in on them. there's a short, terrifying moment where Wally is all "who's your friend, Sally?" and Barnaby has to lean over to let him know "that's Poppy, bud". before Poppy can fully freak out, Wally immediately goes OH! and starts complimenting how pretty she looks. Barnaby chimes in next to ask if the dress is home-made bc it fits Poppy beautifully, Howdy nabs a necklace from the nearby gathered accessories and put it on her to "tie the outfit together". in short! Poppy finds nothing but support from her buddies & they're more than happy to help her figure out this new internal crisis / revelation

then of course eventually she's found out by her family, which goes very well (im using sarcasm! it goes terribly!). Poppy isn't outright disowned or kicked out or in immediate danger, but her relationship with her family is ruined by their transphobic bigotry. her friends have her back throughout this, and the guest room at the Beagle farm is always open to her! Sally continues to make custom clothes for Poppy (something that becomes a love language for the two of them <3).

honestly, this period in Poppy's life is part of what like... idk... strengthens her, in a way? her continuing to be herself and actively rebelling against her family, i mean. Poppy becomes a pretty stellar liar lol (lying to her parents about where she's going, who she's hanging out with, what she does after school, etc). she's very cautious about all of it, but she does it! she's determined to pursue and discover and Realize the woman inside her! i have this sweet scene in my mind of the Group at the Beagle farm chilling on the floor with notebooks, brainstorming on possible names. (Sally enthusiastically says a variation of 'exquisite' to each one, and then when Poppy says 'im not sure about that one' Sally - still enthusiastically - says a variation of 'horrible terrible how could you suggest such an ill-fitting name'). despite everyone's efforts, i like to think that Poppy finds her name entirely on accident! maybe during the Gap Year Road Trip! maybe they stop by a SoCal poppy reserve in superbloom and the flowers Resonate with her! who's to say!

but Poppy begins her (medical) transition in college! she, of course, gets shit for it, but she also begins to find community and enjoyment in the local queer community. and of course, she has her buddies <3

but anyway! i like to think that Poppy participates in local farmer's markets with her crochet work & baked goods, the latter of which is a complete hit! that, plus her first experience with going to a tearoom inspires her to strive towards owning her own! tearooms are right up her alley, i'd say - calm, quiet, and Poppy can make peoples' days a little brighter with a tranquil atmosphere & delicious treats! i swear i have a reason between 'Poppy british = she goes into tea business'. honestly! tearooms are more about the tiny sammies & tasty cones w/ cream! and feeling Fancy while chatting!

i think it takes a while for her to actually be able to start up a tearoom. I'd imagine she starts by holding a small, single-table reservation-based one in her own place once the Group decides on what town to move to. it's successful, slowly (but steadily) grows, until she can get an actual House and transform the ground floor into a full tearoom. lil shop by the checkout counter, several different rooms, a sizeable kitchen. staff! the tearoom is a humble one, but it's a killer holiday & tourist destination! the high ratings even bring in people from out of town!

and when it comes to Poppy & Sally, bc yall know i'm a sucker for Popstar - i like to think that they start dating after (mostly) all of them move into their new town. & after they both have been in prior relationships! and then they never stop dating. well, they do, but that's so that they can upgrade to Wife Status. and then they never stop being wives so there <3

but Poppy is successful and happy! she had a rough go of it but she Makes It! and she continues to make it!

[that-starry-freak]

Ahhh yes, the "I Can Fix Them" au

Genuinely just a comfort au where I play with relationships and things. The actually story/plot of the au isn't too important. There is one tho!! Thats what this post is for, and for exploring some of the relationships in the au!

The au mostly follows Canon up until around Solar being brought back (though there is already kind of an established qpr between solar and Nexus that was disrupted by solar's death and Nexus becoming a villain, but yknow-)

After Solar is brought back, immediately is worried about Nexus. He ends up getting closer with Moon, but he is working on a way to help Nexus. 

He does end up finding him. But he can tell something is wrong as he talks to him, and nothing he says helps. So, he starts panicking, and does the one thing he can think of: kisses him.

AND IT WORKS?? (True loves kiss lmao)

no one knows how to this day, but for some reason the virus in Nexus just breaks when he kisses him and Nexus is free. Of course he feels so so bad for everything he did, and cries for awhile in Solar's arms till he passes out. Solar takes him home, and the family is very apprehensive of Nexus being back in the family, but they eventually warm back up to him (starting with Sun). Moon hates him still, though him and Solar are friends. Soemthing Nexus HATES, but it's mutual because Moon hate state Solar and Nexus are now dating (how yeah and they started dating)

On top of this, but Eclipse has to move out of the dimension because of Solar. So he goes to another dimension and moves into an apartment with Puppet and works as security for a small fazbear's pizza (yeah were saying fuck you to eaps i don't have the energy to watch it 😔)

Nexus and Solar are grateful for bringing Solar back. Nexus visits him quite a bit, ectopically cause he was the one who talked Earth into forgiving Nexus, so he's even more grateful. The two end up getting close, and Solar and Eclipse exchange letters a lot. But they can't actually see each other.

Solar and Nexus realizing they're both falling for Eclipse.

Yada yada it all ends up fine and Eclipse gets a new signature and they all can kiss now 👍

They are all healing and things, cause oh my god they're all SO FUCKED UPPPP

There's also probably stuff going on with Dark Sun, I havnt gotten that far yet. Idk what happens to him after Nexus is save.d he probably just disappears for awhile and Nexus jumps every time he sees Sun, because he was abused a lot by Dark Sun.

Nexus honestly isn't that close with Sun, less than before. Moon doesn't want him around Sun, and Nexus doesn't like looking at him because it makes him think of Dark Sun.

Monty dies idgaf. Bitch dies, Moon realizes how much of a bitch he is and hat he isn't good for Earth and confronts him and Monty tries to fight him and Moon kills him. No more Monty <3 (second au I've killed off Monty now)

Lunar isn't the biggest fan of Nexus but he gives him a second chance. He hates that he's dating Eclipse tho.

Moon eventually starts warming up to Eclipse. And Nexus, though that takes longer.

Uh- Sun and Bloodmoon are in a qpr- yeah-

Qpr blood/sun:

They met after [insert dead brothers name here] died. The remaining bloodmoon brother was incredibly vulnerable and terrified without counterpart. Sun, against his better judgment, reached out with help to them. They were suspicious at first, but eventually accepted.

They grew closer and the twin practically became like a cat to Sunny. They slept in his bed with him, and was by his side often. The family repeatedly asked if they were dating, but they denied it each time, sometimes even seeming kind of grossed out by it. Cause they weren't dating, it was a lot more complicated than that

Eventually Eclipse helps and they figure out how to bring back the dead twin. They Are… unsure, at first. So much as changed since they're death, and him and their twin were still separated… and the person who killed their original virus was so close with their brother? It was an uncomfortable situation, but they ended up becoming comfortable with it too, though wasn't as docile as their counterpart, much more talkative, talking for their twin usually

Eclipse/solar/nexus:

If you know you know. I won't say more here, but-

https://www.tumblr.com/that-starry-freak/760369555440861184/okay-wow-uhm-this-is-my-rant-about-eclipse-x?source=share

Solar and Moon:

God they're beasties. Bffs. It makes Nexus really insecure, but they're still friends. They talk about their Suns and their inventions and things. Sometimes they'll just quietly work together cause they're both bad at talking

They mostly avoid the topic of Nexus and Eclipse cause Moon can't stand them, but once Moon accidentally slipped an insult/a bit of shit talking and Solar just snapped. And yelled at Moon about how he should empathize with Nexus. He stormed off after. 

Later he tried to anxiously apologize to Moon but he just reassure him that he was right, and tried his best to give Nexus a bit more of a 2nd chance

Solar once, as a prank, painted an aroace flag on the entirety of one of the walls of Moon's room with washable paint. It took forever to get off and Moon made Solar do it. Eclipse was laughing the entire time both at the prank and his bf lmao.

Anyway yeah they're stupid antisocial nerd beasties

Silly and sad au

[dooplissss]

i saw your tags on that post, can you tell me about the homestuck quadrants? i was hugely into homestuck like 10 years ago but i’ve forgotten almost everything. i want to remember the ancient ways

* cracks knuckles >:) *

Matesprit ❤️ is easy, its just what humans see as romance and true love etc. One of the two reproductive quadrants, yadda yadda you get it.

Examples: - Morticia <3 Gomez - Ruby <3 Sapphire - Darcy <3 Elizabeth, with arguably some grey/black romance thru the story but thats what makes it so enduring

Moirails ♦️ is my personal favorite quadrant and is fairly straightforward, tho the canon definition is different from fanon. In fanon, its interpreted basically as best friends/queerplatonic, which, yeah, can and usually does happen with that proximity and thats why I love it, but in canon its more a power balance to prevent violence and death, typically with one figure reining back a more chaotic one. When applying to humans and other fandoms tho its better to lean toward the slightly fanon interpretation since Alternia's violent culture is so different from ours.

Examples: - Nepeta <> Equius - Aziraphale <> Crowley (obvi the situation is changing but lets leave this here) - Dean <> Castiel (obvi i'm team matesprit but canonically they belong here up til cas declares his love) - Joel <> Ellie (this is a strictly platonic quadrant dw) - Caleb <> Nott/Veth (I want to shake liam and sam so bad and explain that the relationship they were looking for was right here and they didnt have to awkwardly choose between romance and friendship)

Auspictice ♣️is the one everyone gets wrong and drives me the most insane. It's a tricky and very specific balancing dynamic thats hard to find, except maybe on the CW. Canonically, its a group of three people, two (left and right leaves) want to outright kill each other. This does not make them kismesis, I cannot stress that enough, kismesis don't want each other dead, but we'll get there in a sec. The third person is meant to prevent them from killing each other, being the mediator. Its rare for this dynamic to not be outright toxic, esp in human examples, but its a healthy option on Alternia to prevent unnecessary murder. I think this dynamic is meant to be temporary tho, even in that culture, as it weighs on the mediator a lot.

Examples: - Eridan <3< Sollux ^ Feferi, unfortunately unsuccessful showing how difficult and straining this relationship type is (also everyone who said eridan and sollux were kismesis owes me $5, I'll become a millionaire instantly) - Edward <3< Jacob ^ Bella - Pearl <3< Greg ^ Steven, a happy ending example of an auspictice (ignore the ptsd)

Kismesis ♠️is. man where do I begin. its so good. its such a fun dynamic, especially when you have a pairing that gets it just right. Kismesis is perfect enemies, arch-rivals that share a mutual respect and drive each other to improve themselves to better outwit their opponent. Its when a captain sees one of their ships on fire and smiles, knowing just who did it. Its tipping your opponents head up by the tip of a sword. Its the bad guy showing up at your doorstep because theres no one else they trust more than their greatest nemesis. Its the other reproductive quadrant because its just as deep and passionate as true love, and it can in fact switch between love and hate very easily and often.

Examples: - Quark <3< Odo (imo the BEST non-homestuck example) - Batman <3< Joker (friend hates when i say this but i'm right, esp with lego batman) - Xavier <3< Magneto - Light <3< L - God <3< Satan, why not lmao

I wish homestuck was seen as less cringe bc the quadrants are SOOO FUN to apply to ships and dynamics in other fandoms and contexts. At the same time, people get the quadrants wrong constantly, especially between kismesis and auspictice. And the quadrants aren't static, you don't have to lock a ship in just one forever! feelings change and very easily turn from black to red to black again, its all so complicated and fun to watch.

Hope all this makes sense lmao, thanks for the ask!

[biblicallyaccuratepigeons]

Welcome, traveller

Seraph-Chim's the name; being only vaguely strange is my game.

At first, I didn't think there was really much else to know before looking through my blog. I'm generally an open book; I figured my posts and reblogs would speak for themselves about who I am.

However, after a few months of really being active on this site, it seems that I was wrong.

Here are the most crucial parts about myself:

Sexuality: honestly it's complicated. I've been sexually and romantically attracted to people of many genders, so normally I'd count this as bisexual, but I'm also sex-repulsed. That's right folks, you heard it here first! There is such a thing as a sex-repulsed allosexual, and you've had the great fortune of stumbling across one of our blogs!

Gender identity: This is another complicated one. I've had a bit of a journey reaching this conclusion, which you can check out in my #about gender posts (as of now, there may be a couple missing! am currently in the painstakingly slow process of organizing this blog ;v;), but the long and short of it is that I'm simultaneously every gender and nothing at all. As such, anyone is free to use any gendered or non-gendered terms which feel the most accurate at the time (or are the funniest in context >:}). I do use it/its as well, often in the first person; regarding neos, my favorite ones are ci/cim/cir or ki/kem/ker, but again, just say whatever feels accurate.

Kintypes: I'm an angel and a stormkin! This is also... say it with me now... complicated. Being an angel is easy to explain: humans, like angels, are spiritual creatures which take a variety of forms and have a variety of strengths, who may or may not choose to devote themselves to a higher being or goal. It's a little bit difficult for me to summarize for someone who doesn't already have some kind of framework for it, but basically you can think of my soul as being a different shape from other humans', which is why I describe myself as an angel/angelkin. I've been an angel for my whole life. Being stormkin is a little different for me; it's less that I am a storm and more that storms and wind are my family. I was adopted, or perhaps adopted myself to them, a few years ago, but we've always been good friends.

Fandoms: This and that, but lately? Mostly Gravity Falls; and I'm a Billford shipper. This doesn't mean that I think their relationship is or ever was healthy or ideal. It means that I recognize the spark, the passion, the compatibility, and I love seeing them interact in any context.

And now, the scary part.

I'm a Christian. I love being a Christian, more than I love any of the things I've mentioned about myself, because I love my god. I love Him more than anyone or anything else. He saved my life over and over despite who I was and am, because He's just that kinda guy and He's powerful enough to do it.

However, I know that saying all of that doesn't mean much in this world; certainly, on tumblr dot com, it's more likely to get me blocked or ignored than much else. I'm incredibly fortunate that my first mutual here, now a much beloved friend, was someone who understood me as myself without jumping to any conclusions because of my faith.

So here's a brief summary of where I stand, morally and philosophically, about all of the above statements.

Sexuality: Love is love, affection is affection, attraction is attraction. God gave us feelings in order to make sense of and make the most of this world He's made; all the good He's put into it, and all the bad that's come into it. Feelings are not only a proof of who we are, but also an instrument by which we thrive. Feelings are a morally good thing. I am of the belief that they don't have to define or control us. In much the same way we must train ourselves not to lose our tempers, the life I have chosen also begs me not to lose my head over any individual, regardless of sex. I can love whomever I choose, and I can spend my life with whomever I choose, but I will not allow myself to have sex with anyone I'm not married to, and I will not allow myself to marry more than one person of the opposite sex from myself. As for my sex-repulsion, that is a byproduct of past trauma, which I will not go into detail about here. It's something I live with, and which causes me to hate myself, so of course it's not ideal; on the other hand, feelings are a handy tool, yes? I've chosen to hold onto it, and together, God and I are slowly molding it into something healthier and less self-destructive.

Gender identity: Really, I'm just me. God made me who I am, and if that means a soul that doesn't look like the body it's tied to, so what? He loves variety, sue Him. For the sake of the people around me, I've talked with Him at length, and we've come to a deal: I'll get gender-affirming surgery when I'm 50. Till then, I can express my gender in any way I please, so long as this precious vessel goes relatively undamaged as a result. If this is how I view myself, who am I to tell anyone else what their soul looks like? I do believe in practicing discernment, of course–someone who's grown up in a home heavily biased against a certain gender, for instance, is likely to lean away from expression of that gender for emotional survival, given the choice; and a repeated sex offender is, of course, going to tell any lie that may keep them out of trouble–but generally? Until you can prove yourself wrong, I'll take your words at face value. (In this vein, I do think that our society has lost hold of what being a Man or a Woman means, aside from the false dichotomy of gender itself. Perhaps all this genderfuckery is our way of searching for it? Certainly, I hope to someday understand it.)

Kintypes: Similar to gender, who cares if my soul doesn't look like other human souls? Being an angel in the way that I am isn't so uncommon amongst Christians as one might think, and being close with the wind and rain just means God has given me yet another way to listen to His voice and worship Him. Believing in God, and believing that He's good, of course I believe in an Enemy, a demonic source of evil; but unless a demon talks to me, what can I know of its nature? Being otherkin, alterhuman, non-human, or therian doesn't automatically point to demonization, in my opinion. I have seen a great number of angels who believe that this life is a punishment or proof of abandonment from God, and that is a lie, but the being is not necessarily. As for godkins, I have no reason not to believe you, either. My god already calls humans "little gods," and all spiritual creatures, god or not, are called "elohim." If you say your soul is more elohim-shaped in a godly way than mine or other humans, why should I not believe you? If you have old memories, or muted abilities and affinities, what difference does it make to me? We're cousins, you and I, in a way we can never be with other kintypes.

Fandoms: Fantasy, obviously, is a fiction. Humans share stories that mean something to us, it's what we were made to do, so there's nothing wrong with it.

Religion: I have placed my belief in one God, the Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, of all things visible and invisible; and in one Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of God, the only-begotten, born of the Father before all ages. Light from light, true God from true God, begotten, not made, one in essence with the Father; through Him all things were made. For us and for our salvation, He came down from heaven and was incarnate by the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary, and became man. He was crucified by Pontius Pilate, and suffered and was buried. He rose on the third day according to the scriptures. He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father, and He is coming again in glory to judge the living and the dead, and His kingdom will have no end. And I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the Creator of Life, who proceeds from the Father. Together with the Father and the Son, He is worshipped and glorified; He spoke through the prophets. I believe in one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church. I have been baptized by the Holy Spirit for the remission of sin, and as a public sacrament for the denouncing of it. I wait here, eagerly and expectantly, for the resurrection of the dead among you and of those of my brethren who have passed on, and for the life of the world to come. This does not mean that I dismiss other gods nor the various magics as fairy tales; only that, by nature, I am opposed to those powers which would keep us all from the one God with enough love and power to anoint Himself with His own wrath in order to defeat the spiritual death into which we are born by inheritance, and someday soon, to kill death altogether.

If you've read this far, thank you for your time! Know that I love you, and that I'm able to because my god decided that we each were worth something more than mere dust.

🥔

[manicpixieginger]

Ta-ta

I’ve had a fun time on this blog, written some fanfiction, met a couple of complete lunatics and even more cool and kind ppl. My cool mutuals know who they are. At the end of the day I’ve definitely moved out of the phase of my life where this blog served me - I’ve moved away from texting odd strangers who’d never truly know me and vice versa through the night in the same way I’d’ve texted an AI bc I was stressed and lonely and using my interests and hyperfixations to dodge reality. The truth is this blog was rlly my outlet of unhealthy coping mechanisms during a shitty period of abt 9 months, starting from the end of August last year until around April or May. I made some truly shitty decisions (for myself, not morally) and kept unhealthy company when my life was in disorder and I was unhappy which just spiralled me more and more into chaos and encouraged the wrong kind of behaviour in me and towards me from the wrong kinds of ppl. In the last few months I’ve finally pulled myself out of it, figured out it doesn’t matter bc that’s not me, that’s not who I am, this internet persona was just disingenuous shells of parts of me I chose to share. I’ve learned a lot of shit and the best way to handle and carry myself. I know now not to give people an inch because they’ll take a mile and feel entitled to me or like they know me better than myself, I know how much to share of myself, and I know that some people just can’t be helped from their own self destructive lonely abyss, but I can help myself. It rlly looks like my life is starting now, I have a solid and stable group of friends, a good relationship and exciting things are happening for me. My self esteem is better, I have things going for me and people who love me and push me forward. I’ve going to completely cleared this blog save for this post, which might stay up a little while. I’m putting it in the past and sometimes that means leaving something as it is, as a time capsule and sometimes that means putting it into near complete nonexistence, leaving it in the past of nothingness where it belongs. The less of it that’s here the less tempted I’ll feel to come back to it and pull myself back into the chronically online abyss I’ve seen swallow up lots of other people. Idk, I made one set of mistakes w one person and came out fine and then proceeded to make them again with another person who turned out to be crazier and lingered and lingered and now I’ve learned my lesson lol. Im just glad I knew better not to give so much access to some of the ppl I spoke to. I’m still very much into my shit, my dumb Brad Pitt movies and my music, but I just have other avenues to express my passion for them now, Taking control of my life kind of means taking control of what of me is accessible to anyone, including this blog. My fanfiction will stay up, and I will continue to post sporadically on a new blog for which I’ve given access to the right people. My fics will stay up but I don’t really have the drive to write them anymore as I’m on to bigger and better. I’m just rlly glad there was a chain of events where I started to come to my senses and see just how chronically online some of the ppl I allowed in my circle were, how unwell and unhappy and in denial they were. I don’t really care if anyone cares, but if anyone’s ever wondering where that chick who wrote the Shosanna gets revenge fic went, she’s gone off to do her own thing.

[nobodysdaydreams]

THE WOLF359 CAST IS INCREDIBLY TALENTED AND I LOVE THIS! (or my reaction to the Wolf359 Live Show)

"Another Wolf359 reaction already? But Bods, I thought you said you were busy?" Yes indeed I am my friends, if I wasn't busy, I would have finished the podcast by now. In my younger days, I did all of ATLA in a weekend. Sadly at this age, I can't be doing that kind of bingeing. I'm also tired, because I've been studying all day and figured why not take a little break and watch the Wolf359 Live Show?

I firstly wanted to give a shoutout to @commsroom for not only telling me about when to watch the live show (after episode 26), but also telling me that it is on youtube where you can watch it live so thank you so much!

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts. Especially in this one because it is late, and I am tired.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell

Wolf359 Live Show Reaction:

"First ever life show" - are there other live shows?

Oh okay this is very helpful. So it's in the middle of Episode 26, so right in the middle of what I just listened to, that makes a lot more sense.

I honestly don't care about the audio quality difference this is amazing.

Uh...pretty sure Cutter is not the forces of good... see Doug this is why you always read the fine print! It's like that ominous song...the one that was a tik tok audio? The one about an evil corporation in space? I think it might have been video game music? You guys know what I'm talking about please tell me I didn't imagine this.

YES THE ONE COPY OF HOME ALONE 2 COMES BACK!

PLEASE- the way Doug is telling the story is the way I tell stories "Hilbert strikes back: specifically Doug's circulatory system" 😂

"Palpatine MD" 😂

I love how they enter in as their characters are introduced.

I love Hera though it is weird to hear her voice clear without coming through the intercoms.

Zach is doing a fantastic job I love how he's moving around Minkowski to play both Hilbert and Doug 😂 and he's doing a great job switch characters.

Lovelace!

I love how he crosses over to whisper to Hera, I can just see Doug's character whispering into her intercom or in the general direction of the computer even though it doesn't make a difference to her.

I also like Hera's character position on stage away from the others, it's kind of symbolic.

"Team Eiffel's on the case" I have literally used the phrase "Detective Bods is on the case" multiple times on this blog, why do I relate so strongly to every ADHD character I come across sasjdkfjsl;kdfj;slk. Not the talking to himself too... NOT THEM LOOKING AT HIM IN THE BACKGROUND...oh no...

I love how Hera says "yeah we're all here" when she's always there.

17 months Doug? Oh dear...

"No one told me it was my job" Valid Doug, valid, what you're told when you're spaced out doesn't count. ADHD rule #1. Oh she told him multiple times? Well maybe they could have written it down for him. Would that have been too much trouble?

Hilbert shut up.

Poor Hera. The way she shuts them down 😂

SHUT UP HILBERT. THANK YOU.

Oh not the Pyrce and Carter thing again. Do we ever get to meet Pryce and Carter? Do they work for Goddard Futuristics? Is this a NASA textbook? At first I thought she said something about a price and then "Cutter", and I was like "PLOT TWIST" but never mind it's just the tips book.

Minkowski's Lovelace impression 😂 HIS HERA IMPRESSION IS JUST A HIGH PITCHED VOICE. Hahaha...his Hilbert is hilarious. Her Doug impression. 😂

"No no she's Eiffel, that's impossible" This is perfect, and then the switch back to Hilbert. Comedic perfection. I love it so so much.

"Hilbert you're fine try to be less fine" I love Hera.

"Can I ask you to act like an adult?" "That's not my thing" the comedic timing of this is excellent.

"What do you even do here?" Hold Hilbert's Decima virus of course.

Comms line? With who?

PLEASE 😂OH MY GOODNESS CUTTER. The way he stands up from the audience with his smug little smile...

You just know he's been waiting his entire life to play a role like that. Honestly me too, so good for him for getting to live the dream. DID HE JUST PAT THE HEAD OF A RANDOM PERSON IN THE AUDIENCE. HE DID. HE EVEN HAS A SUIT.

"We'll break bread, we'll dance, we'll kiss-" Cutter man, I'm pretty sure you can't say that. I know that you're an evil corporation that murders people on the regular and unethically experiments on people in space so the law can't get you, but you don't even have one HR rep?

Another call Cutter? What deployment?

"He remotely destroys station, then goes on lunch break" Yep sounds like Cutter.

The way Cutters reenters... it's so dramatic I love it.

They are really gonna have to make sure their stories match.

Huh. "Communication problem of our own." I wonder what that could be Cutter? A little issue at Command?

"Alone at last" That sounds creepy Cutter.

Oh so Cutter worships at the alter of the Pryce and Carter manual too. Maybe he forced them to write the book and killed them. Maybe he wrote it under two pen names to make it sound more legit. Either way I can't imagine him memorizing anyone's book but his own.

CUTTER'S ASKING ABOUT HER FAMILY? oh he's threatening her. IS HE THREATENING HER FAMILY?

They are very low on toothpaste.

"I want to help in every way I can, but I can only do that if I know what's going on" Cutter I hope you die. Painfully. Very slowly and very painfully, and if it doesn't happen in the show, I'll write it into a fic.

Oh he's speaking to Hera now because of what she said... that's interesting. Cutter didn't think of Hera as a person or member of the crew before he realized that Minkowski did.

Doug is me cramming for my exams. DOUG IF ITS NOT A VIDEO CALL YOU CAN WRITE STUFF DOWN.

Or fake an illness.

Oh dear poor Hera.

"Manufacturing errors." I hope that doesn't mean anything bad for those robots, otherwise that has to be sad for Hera to hear.

Okay...I love how Hera and some of the other actors look straight at the audience like they can't see Cutter, but Cutter looks directly at them as if he can see them. It adds so much to the creep factor.

Oh my gosh that manual again. Why is he obsessed with it?

"You'd be shocked at how much I know about the Hephaestus" Cutter knows everything.

AND DO NOT CALL HERA PATHETIC.

Oh my gosh Hera talked back to him for a second. I think she's the only one who ever does thus far, which is odd considering all her code that stops her from doing that.

"A real person" THAT CROSSES A LINE CUTTER.

"I don't know if someone like you can understand this. We're trying to change everyone's lives" CUTTER SHUT UP. YOU ARE THE ONE WITHOUT A SOUL YOU HAVE NO ROOM TO TALK.

YES HERA TALK BACK TO HIM.

Hera's memory files? Personality setting? oh never mind...this is awful that he can just go in like that. Maybe that's why he programmed her with the ability and personality that would talk back to him. So that he can get the truth from someone he can easily destroy.

"The people who made you decided you were a mistake, and you were so desperate to rise above who- what you are" Who made Hera? Are they important? Or did Cutter just scrape her up from a tech company that didn't want her? And Cutter "correcting" himself on that line I hope he's blown into space.

"Don't you dare" wow Hera's still talking back. "You have no idea." DID SHE JUST CONFESS THAT HILBERT IS STILL ALIVE. Oh Hera...

"To err is human" oh dear...

Doug looks terrified. Me too buddy.

It's okay Hera. You deserve better.

"I'm sick!" I love that.

Cutter's like wow, I should have started with him.

The way he puts his hand on Doug's shoulder as if they are in the room together, like he has a way to reach them even if they can't get back to earth, I love the choices the actor's are making.

He knows that Doug doesn't know Pryce and Carter. He's been listening in on him. For sure. Bro. Not everyone has read your manifesto that you by this point probably ghost wrote under two fake names and declared the best book of all time. It's like when a professor uses their own text book, I've heard this song and dance before.

Cutter. Doug should have memorized it but YOU HIRED HIM. He is CLEARLY in no way qualified for this line of work. YOU know that. YOU'RE using him as a science experiment. If I knew my professor was using me for lab science that could kill me at any second, do you think I'd waste time studying for their pop quiz on silly tips?

"How did Renee stop him?" Just say that it was all a blur Doug.

"Getting around security protocols, tricking a multiple PhD...stellar Doug" "Thank you?" Doug that's not a good thing. A target is on your back right now.

Not the arm on his shoulder again. Cutter for SURE killed their HR rep and their IRB rep, and ethics department.

"I would have had to skin you alive" There is no "had to" here Cutter.

3 seconds or incredibly painful things will start happening. WHAT THINGS?

DOUG HOW DID YOU FUMBLE THAT? YOU COULD HAVE JUST PRETENDED YOU WERE NERVOUS BECAUSE YOU FAILED. YOU HAD THE PERFECT OUT RIGHT THERE.

"I got the feeling that I would be the same convo you and I just had" I love the fourth wall break.

Oh dear. LOVELACE YOU BETTER BE QUIET. NO NOT ALL THE STUFF DOUG YOU AT LEAST KEPT LOVELACE QUIET. DON'T BLOW THAT TOO.

"Is there anything I can do for you? I want to help you?" Get. Them. Back. To. Earth.

Cutter's little schoolboy laugh. Oh yikes. He's mad now.

Good job Doug, take the fall. Good solider. No, what are you doing, just say you forgot, don't say you kept information from him intentionally. Faking incompetence is so much easier when you actually are incompetent.

The ultimate sacrifice. He will memorize Cutter's stupid textbook.

"If you keep anything from me again, holiday's over..." I don't like it.

"I want to know the second anything new happens with those transmissions".

Haha...well as a matter a fact, after that last episode...

Exactly. Shut up Hilbert.

Yeah the book is unusually dark. Pryce and Carter have clearly been through some stuff, or it's Cutter being ominous with his ghost written book. At this point, he either wrote it under fake names, or he's a Pryce and Carter fanboy. (Is it spelled Pryce or Price, I just realized I have no idea. I've heard of the last name Pryce, so I'd assume that's how it's spelled?).

"Did I mention that I'm sick"

Careful what you wish for.

Well that was amazing. I loved the way the cast used the space to make the characters come alive, the way they moved, the choices they made, it all fit really well. I really enjoyed watching this. It brought me back to when I used to do high school theater. I kinda of miss it. Hilbert, Cutter, and Doug are exactly the kind of overdramatic and unhinged roles I always loved playing (that is if I was lucky enough to have a director who went for gender bent casting, we as a society really need more comedic relief and unhinged women roles with crazy accents). Although I did once win a medal at state in middle school for a 10 minute monologue that was very much in the tone of Minkowski. I was playing a babysitter.

And ask the show said: back to work. Thanks everyone for listening, I hope you enjoyed my reaction. Only two more episodes left in season two so we should be done soon. Excited to see what comes next!

[book-place]

Oh. My. Goodness.

I started this blog less than a year ago with hopes of just posting a couple of the thoughts going on in my head and maybe having one or two people like what I’m doing…

But I just hit 1K followers and I am quite honestly beside myself, how did this happen? When did this happen? When did this go from me crying tears of joy over having 10 followers to sobbing my eyes out over having 1000 of you follow and like my work?

When I tell you that I can not thank any of you enough for this- like I am for real at a loss for words, I don’t even know how to express how much you all mean to me

Thank you, thank you, thank you

With that being said, I decided that in honor of this happening, I want to specifically thank those that made this possible (though there are so many more of you) with a MUTUAL APPRECIATION POST as my celebration

This is all done in no particular order, I just want you all to know how much I appreciate you and everything each and every one of you has done for me

@your-local-questioning-agender oh gosh, where to begin. You were my first ever mutual and first person to ever reach out to me on this app. You have quite honestly been there for me through EVERYTHING that has gone on in my life and I would not be where I am today without you. I love you so, so, so much and I pray that you never change because you are absolutely perfect the way you are

@foggy-isnt-here axl, my axl. I love you more than life itself. You are the sweetest, kindest, most caring and hilarious person ever. You are always there to make me laugh and cheer me up after a bad day. You make sure that I’m taking care of myself (and not to mention you gave me the coolest nickname I’ve ever received!!). What would I do without you?

@popfishjr your art honestly always makes me so happy. I light up whenever I see that you’ve posted and then am just in awe over whatever you made. I can barely draw stick figures and you’re over here making freaking masterpieces. I love our little chats and hope we never stop

@creative-girl omg I absolutely love how we’ve bonded over different fandoms (mostly marvel) we always have really good conversations about them and I look forward to more :)

@azurethevampire we interact within reblogs and I absolutely love it

@bringinsexybackk69 bubs, bubs, bubs, I love you so, so much and I honestly don’t know what I would do without you. You are an incredibly talented writer and a wonderful friend, thank you so much for being there for me whenever I needed it and I adore you so much

@its-hell our interactions consist mainly in reblogs and I love it because it’s just so much fun :D

@panic-in-the-multiverse When I say that I absolutely adore your work, it is utterly incredible and I hope you keep up the amazing work that you’re doing

@redlotus98 dc? dc. You’re blog honestly brings me so much happiness when it comes to that fandom and I just wanted to let you know that I absolutely love it all

@ihatemyselfmorethanmydepression we don’t talk very often, but I get this feeling that we always have each others backs. You were one of my first mutuals and when we do talk, I completely love it

@trashmouthsahra we don’t talk, but I hope you’re doing good and everything is going well for you :)

@xennityxen you always reblog people’s works by saying the nicest things ever and it’s honestly so refreshing when I watch as you take someone’s work make them so happy with your kind words because I know that is exactly what happens and I hope you know that too

@daughterofthequeen you’ve been my mutual for a while and you’ve been so supportive and I just want to tell you that you’re an amazing writer and I hope you keep it up! I absolutely love how we bonded over Moon Knight and just ended up as mutuals that way

@betzabobababi you have no idea how much I appreciate you. What you have done for me with your YouTube video was honestly life changing and one of the best things that has ever happened to me. And not just that, but you’re such a sweet person and I love it so much

@night3owl ugh I love your Star Wars fics so much and I love that we both love that fandom because I feel like there aren’t enough fans in it anymore. You have shown me so much support with everything I’ve done and I honestly can’t thank you enough for it

@see-the-apple we bonded over Star Wars and the rest was history… I absolutely love it

@roseblue373 SUPERNATURAL FANS!!! You not only have supported me so much with my spn fics, but you are always rebloging other spn fics on your blog and I love how much you support everyone else in this fandom. All of us, with our spn loving hearts

@kiyomi-uchiha777 you threatened to wage war against anybody that ever said anything bad about my work and it made me cry because it was honestly the sweetest thing ever

@catshrom when I say your asks make my day, everyday, I mean it. They always make me laugh (and on the rare occasion cry) and I always light up when I get a notification saying that you sent me an ask because I know I will have so much fun reading and answering it

@i-writes-things at first I hadn’t even realized that we were mutuals, I followed you because I absolutely adore your work, but I think it’s so freaking cool that ended up following each other and I hope you keep up the amazing writing

@angelic-simp you are one of the kindest people I know. You are always checking up on me and making sure I eat, rest, and drink water. It is so refreshing to have a mutual like you because you have no idea how much it means to me to have someone check up on me in that way almost everyday without fail. Thank you, thank you so much

Was this dramatic and slightly cringey? Yes. Did I cry my eyes out? Also yes

Thank you all so much again and I mean it from the bottom of my heart when I say that I love each and every one of you dearly <333333333

[a-method-in-it]

Girl what the hell is that last post you just reblogged.

(((They))) leave out or what.

Have you considered that you just did not pay that much attention during history class, because I learned about many of these things.

Jesus Christ half of that Tweet chain is just antisemtic conspiracy theories with 'zionists' instead of jews, as if that's not something the alt-right has started doing years ago.

Calling jewish people 'white' as if that's what the perception was at the time or makes any sense considering Jewishness is an ethnicity.

Fucking hell. You seemed like a reasonable person for a long time yk. But a claim that the goddamn Holocaust wasn't explicity and overwhelmingly targeting Jews with most others as afterthoughts is insane and history denying.

Literal textbook antisemitism.

Hi --- From the sound of this ask, you're someone who follows me, and as such I wish you hadn't sent this on anon so that I could reply privately, but here goes.

I assume you are talking about this post? That's the closest thing that I can find in my reblogs to what you're describing, though a lot of what you say about it here isn't actually true.

The post does not call Jewish people white --- it says that the way the Holocaust is presented in mainstream education seems designed to portray Jews as perfect white victims who didn't even fight back, which is obviously not true. (The fact that it's not true, including the white part, is what the Twitter user is pointing out.)

It also never claims that the Holocaust was not overwhelmingly targeting Jews, and I honestly don't know where you got that.

Also, I can't speak to where you went to school, but as a middle class white American, I actually was not taught anything in school about the Herero and Nama genocide, the presence of armed Jewish resistance to the Nazis, the fact that Hitler was inspired by the Armenian genocide, and certainly not that he was inspired by the genocide of indigenous peoples in the United States. (I did in high school learn that the Red Army liberated the camps and that people other than Jews were targeted as well, including Romani and disabled people; I have, however, had friends who were surprised to learn this as adults.)

You seem to think this post was criticizing the way that Jewish people talk about the Holocaust, but unless you think that Jewish people are in charge of all education policy (which would be a weird thing to think?) I don't see how you're getting that at all. The post specifies it's about Holocaust education, which I read as the things people are taught in school.

For what it's worth, I have found that Jewish sources of information about the Holocaust are actually less likely to fall into these traps than mainstream American ones, just speaking from my own experience.

I will say I'm not thrilled with the way the Twitter user makes the leap to saying that this type of education is deliberately meant to further zionism. I think that's a stretch. I reblogged it anyway because I thought it was overall making good points. I might wind up deleting it; I certainly take it seriously when something reads to Jewish people as engaging in anti-Semitic tropes, and if you have more to say about why you think this does that, I truly am happy to listen. I don't really see it that way, but as a goy, I often miss things.

But yeah. I feel like this would have been a better convo to have non-publicly, and I wish you hadn't chosen to go the anonymous route. I don't know what to make of statements like "You seemed like a reasonable person for a long time yk." coming from an anonymous ask. Are we mutuals? Have we interacted? Or are you basing this assessment purely on my online presence? Are you treating me like some quasi-public figure because I *checks notes* have a pseudonymous account on the internet's least popular social media site or have I offended someone I know and have some online relationship with?

If you want to send a chat or an ask I can answer privately, I'm happy to keep talking, but if you send another anonymous message, I will not be replying.

[death-munchkin]

A Cauldron Full of Luck (Chapter 1)

Originally posted on AO3, I figured I'd pop it here too since I now have a blog and what not. Potion Permit fic. Rest of the fic (wop, 4 Chapters currently) can be found here (AO3).

Reyner had been perfectly content to ignore the charming new chemist in town, until a mutual friend seemingly insisted on bringing them together. Through various encounters, a handful of struggles and with the help of one Runeheart bent on making them get along, it's only a matter of time before Reyner's strange new feelings towards Moonbury's resident chemist grow stronger. Story follows the perspective of Reyner as he goes on a journey of emotions to figure himself out through the events of the game. ~~Reyner/Chemist, amab(he/him) Chemist, Named Chemist.

To fix a Chipped Shoulder

“This is ridiculous, I’m going back to work.”

Reyner had risen that morning only to quickly find out that Runeheart had seemingly taken it on herself, as per usual, to fix his problems. Namely on that particular day, she had decided to ‘fix’ his shoulder. Or, more specifically, she’d decided to take him to someone she figuredcould fix his shoulder, considering her fixing talent wasn’t exactly appropriate to apply to anything living. That person, of course, not being Matheo, who he knew and was comfortable with. Oh no, it couldn’t possibly have been that simple. No she had to drag him off to Kliao’s, the town’s newcomer chemist, who he absolutely positively without a doubt didnot want to see, if he could help it. But, with Rune around, that wasn’t an option he was allowed to take, apparently, considering where they now stood in front of the chemist’s residence.

Reyner didn’t get the chance to take a single stubborn step to freedom before his good arm was used as an anchor line to snap him back into place, his possibly-even-more-stubborn best friend’s hands grounding him with the force of a thousand anvils, and her eyes with possibly twice that.

“Reyner, if you so much as think of leaving before we get you fixed up I swear on the Gods I’ll personally fashion shackles to chain you to the clinic.” Runeheart’s words licked like a flame, fiercer and sharper than normal, and he could tell she was quickly reaching the end of her rope with him. Whether or not she’d follow through with her threat, he didn’t know. Whether or not he’d chance the risk, well, that option was looking more and more preferable the longer he thought-

The sound of the front door cracking open redirected both their focus to the soon no longer empty doorway of the chemist’s house. It’s inhabitant, the town’s newcomer, now onlooked the pair with slight bewilderment and concern, clearly not at all having expected this scene when they left the house. Rune loosened up, Reyner tensed up, and it looked as though any fantasy of escape was quashed.

“Hey Kliao!” Rune greeted with a cheerful wave, her demeanor much friendlier now that she wasn’t addressing the object of her recent frustration. Reyner for his part muttered a disgruntled greeting, much less enthused by the situation than she was.

Rune, as far as he was aware, had been spending more time getting to know the town’s newest resident than he had, and had been fairly welcoming of the chemist once Rue had been cured. As a result, while Reyner wasn’t hostile or unwelcoming to him, Rune and Kliao had developed more of a buddy buddy relationship than the two guys had. Maybe that’s why she was so quick to insist on dragging him here when he blamed his bad shoulder for losing their previous darts match. Or maybe she was trying to slyly get back at him for some offense or another, considering she knew exactly how he felt about the idea of being examined by someone from the capital. Who knew.

“Sorry to disturb you, but could you possibly take a look at him?” Rune gestured with one hand while the other still kept Reyner in place. “We tried to get Matheo, but since his schedule’s full, you’re our only option.”

The thought however of imminently having a stranger, a chemist, from the capital, in his personal space gave Reyner a small spike of adrenaline, enough to wrench his good arm free and back up a few steps.

“Rune, please. I told you earlier it’s not a good idea to have someone from the capital check on me.” Reyner foundered, flushed and embarrassed and maybe just a little bit panicked, but certainly desperately wanting to just leave. He didnot want the chemist to examine him. Not that he had anything against Kliao in particular, contrary to how it might have come across. The lad seemed nice enough. He was always polite and at least seemed to genuinely want to help people. But there was just something about him, about the aura around him, which left Reyner feeling strange and uncomfortable. Like he was trapped and squirming under Kliao’s gaze whenever the chemist was around, and he wasn’t exactly sure he wanted to subject himself to that if he didn’t absolutely have to.

Runeheart, on the other hand, was quite frankly done with her friend’s nonsense, her own face once more becoming blushed with frustration. She didn’t say anything in response to his antics. She didn’t need to. The look of disapproval combined with the silence she allowed to stretch was sharper than any blade she or dare say her mother could ever craft, and she knew well that he couldn’t leave when she pinned him with a look like that.

The chemist was the one to break the silence, offering a nervous laugh at the duo’s altercation before clearing his throat and approaching Reyner, offering a gentle smile seemingly aimed to pacify his patient before he’d sprint off like a frightened animal. It was obvious he’d be more than happy to oblige Rune’s request, provided of course that Reyner gave him the go-ahead first.

The chemist’s keenness to help, despite seemingly genuine in nature, still somehow had Reyner’s body feeling tight with awkward anticipation. A look to his best friend of course didn’t grant any solace, with her still casting silent judgment in his direction for, in her words, acting like a complete dingus. Trapped and defeated, the young carpenter let out a reluctant sigh of surrender and nodded, giving consent for the chemist to begin his examination. An offer which was happily accepted.

“My left shoulder feels weird.” Reyner clarified, opting to turn his head to the sky while Kliao went about their business examining the shoulder in question, unsure of anywhere else to look which wouldn’t feel awkward in the given situation. Though now, his shoulder was definitely not the only part of him that felt off, thanks to having the chemist firmly in his personal space. Now his hands were getting clammy and his brow damp and his chest felt all sorts of peculiar, certainly a result of his nerves. He’d never have had this issue if they’d just gone to Matheo instead.

Aside from the occasional thoughtful humming from the chemist as he worked or pained hiss from Reyner when a tender spot was prodded, the next few moments passed in relative silence. It somehow simultaneously felt surprisingly quick yet painfully long before the examination was complete and the chemist stepped back and Reyner could finally breathe again. The chemist for his part had a deep expression of thought scrunched on his face.

“Could you explain how your symptoms feel?” Kliao prodded for more information, seemingly not fully satisfied with a physical examination alone.

Reyner took a moment to think the question over, absentmindedly fixing his shirt back into its proper place as he did. “My shoulder gets stiff, plus occasional pain that comes and goes.”

Then he paused, as a realization of a potential issue revealed itself.

“Normal activity wouldn’t do me any harm, right?” He voiced his concern, feeling more than a bit nervous about the answer. The chemist in turn only offered a look of confusion, prompting for him to explain further.

He paused, thinking carefully about how to express his thoughts verbally.

“... It started to hurt after I put together a couple of pieces of furniture in my workshop.” He explained, absentmindedly massaging his damaged shoulder as he spoke. “My job requires a fair amount of manual work, so it’s inevitable.”

“So, think you can make something for him?” Runeheart piped in, seemingly eager to get a conclusion to her friend’s shoulder conundrum.

The chemist took another few seconds to think, before brightening up and offering her an eager nod, which Rune received with a wide proud definitly-a-bit-cocky-about-being-proven-right grin. 

“I could make a Heat Paste, that should help with the stiffness, and speed up the recovery process.”

The scene was enough to make Reyner roll his eyes, particularly at his friend’s obvious beaming ‘told ya’ attitude. All in all, his heart, and ego, had been rung through the ringer enough for one day. And besides…

“... You really don’t need to. I’ll be fine.”

Reyner took the opportunity to grumbly excuse himself, taking his chance to escape back to the safety of his workshop. Not that he for even a moment expected that this would be the end of the situation, especially not with headstrong Rune on the case. No, he’d have to mentally prepare himself for Rune, or possibly even Kliao, to make a swing by his workshop sometime soon with remedy in hand. The thought of it, and of the morning’s events in general, led him to breath out a hefty sigh.

Why did he have to pick the most headstrong person in the world to be his best friend?

___ ___ ___ ___

The visit came in the late afternoon of the very same day. Truth be told, despite fully expecting that Rune and her new friend would push on despite his protests and show up with some alchemical concoction for him to try, he had not at all expected for the chemist to produce it so quickly. As such, despite his former anticipation, he was still caught off guard when the two of them showed up in his shop shortly before he closed up.

“You two better not be here as customers, you should know how frustrating it is when people order last minute work.” He offered Rune a coy smile, to which the redhead rolled her eyes and let out a huff of pretend annoyance.

“We’re here to fix your shoulder, dummy.”

Despite half expecting that to be the case, her confirmation still managed to leave him feeling frozen over, stopping his absentminded process of brushing sawdust from his hands and leaving his shoulders tense.

“You don’t have to be here, I told you, my shoulder’s fine.” He protested despite the fact that the tension in his shoulders of course made his bad shoulder hurt, making him wince and confirming that it was, in fact, not fine. Rune, of course, wasn’t fooled by his act for a second, resting a fist on her hip whilst looking at him as though he were a misbehaving child.  

“Look at you! You still can’t even move properly.” The fact that she was right didn’t serve to make him feel any better. Rune gave a frustrated sigh, turning to the chemist with a sort of ‘are you seeing this’ expression. “Kliao, would you please just apply the ointment to him already so we can get this over with?”

The chemist gave a nervous laugh in response, but nodded in agreement and turned to Reyner again, looking for approval to proceed like he had done before. Reyner, however, once more felt like a spider trapped in a jar under the chemist’s gentile gaze, turning around to break eye contact before his nerves got the better of him. Grumbling for a second, he hung his head and ran his still-a-bit-sawdusty hands down his face in an attempt to sooth the building unease. Turning around and letting out a dispirited sigh, he once more resigned himself to his fate, just as he had that morning.

“Fine… Go ahead…”

Kliao gave a bright smile at the approval, setting his satchel on one of the nearby pieces of hand crafted furniture and dug around a bit to find the specific item he was looking for. Various sounds of rustling, clinking, sloshing and clanking emanated from the bag as they searched through it, and Reyner wondered to himself exactly how many things the chemist kept in that satchel of theirs, because it sounded like a lot. Before long he produced what looked like a dark tube of paste.

With the remedy in hand he made his way into Reyner’s personal space bubble for the second time that day. This time Reyner opted to stare at his cash register while the chemist worked. Despite its name, the paste at first actually felt quite cold when it made contact with his skin, only heating up after a few seconds of the chemist working it into his shoulder with a sort of massage. The Heat radiating from the paste did soon feel quite soothing, but the actual process of applying it meant that pressure was applied to tender spots and was at times honestly quite painful. Though, he had to admit to himself that his shoulderdid feel better.

Once finished, Kliao took a step back to give Reyner his space again, offering one of their signature pacifying smiles to put him at ease. “There, that should feel better now. But… you shouldn’t overdo it, okay. Don’t push yourself too much while you’re still recovering.”

The chemist’s advice caught on Reyner’s thoughts like a thorn to cloth. “So, I can’t do any harsh physical activity?”

The chemist shook his head no, and the concerns of its implications formed a small pit in Reyner’s stomach.

“But, how am I supposed to run the workshop like that?”

Rune reentered the conversation with a loud, frustrated groan, tired of her friend’s hardheaded antics.

“Reyner, please. You should listen to Kliao and stop with this nonsense!” She didn’t even sound mad anymore, just exhausted. The realization that he’d tired his friend out with his constant protests suddenly made him feel guilty. He didn’t mean to be a bother, he just… couldn’t help but feel concerned. Working hard, or possibly even overworking himself, has been a constant part of his professional life. And he genuinely didn’t know how he’d keep on working without that strong drive to push himself.

“Rune’s right. If you push yourself, you might end up hurting your shoulder again, and may even make it worse.” Kliao offered in support. He and Rune both shared the same look of well meaning concern when they looked at him, and again, he couldn’t help but feel guilty. They were both just trying to help. It wasn’t their fault his shoulder got hurt, and, if what Kliao said was true, it wouldn’t be their fault that strenuous physical activity would only make things worse either.

“Alright, I’ll listen.” He finally conceded, a tinge of an apologetic tone to his voice. “Besides, if things get really bad, I might not be able to work at all.”

The feeling of shame and embarrassment at disappointing his friend made his face flush up, and he quickly turned away to hide it. Rune for her part offered a soft laugh, signaling that she wasn’t really upset with her friend, just worried about him, and maybe a bit annoyed by his stubbornness, which she muttered about under her breath.

With the added privacy of facing away, he finally felt comfortable to let out an exhausted, slightly shaky breath. Having the chemist in his personal space twice in one day was certainly giving his nerves and his heart a proper workout, and he felt more than a little emotionally exhausted after the day’s events. He’d still have much preferred to have gone to Matheo instead, considering it wouldn’t have been nearly as… exhausting. But he still felt grateful, he thought. If nothing else, Rune and Kliao both did mean well. And they were simply doing their jobs, as a friend and a chemist alike. So he couldn’t fault either of them, regardless of how he himself might have felt throughout the whole situation. And come to think of it… he didn’t exactlydislike getting help from Kliao either, even if it did feel strange and uneasy and not nearly as business-as-usual as it would have been had he gone to Matheo instead.

“Thanks for helping Reyner anyway.” Rune spoke up behind him, and he could hear Kliao offering her a nervous laugh in response.

Feeling the need to also express his gratitude despite still feeling a little uneasy, Reyner turned to face the pair again, awkwardly clearing his throat before he spoke.

“I… I appreciate it. Thank you, guys.” He offered a small smile of his own, hoping that they’d be able to tell he was being genuine. Even though he had a hard time accepting help, especially from someone like Kliao, he still wanted them to know that he did appreciate what they did for him.

The chemist and Runeheart both accepted his smile with ones of their own, seemingly happy with the conclusion to the day’s events. Despite his protests, despite all the grief he gave them both in the process, they still stubbornly pushed on to help him. The thought made his chest feel a bit warm. He was lucky to have a friend like Rune… and…

And he was lucky that Moonbury had a chemist like Kliao.

[commaclear]

Hi comma

I'm not a minor, but I know there's a lot of minors in tntblr and I've been on the internet long enough to realize way farther down the line that I've been in very unsafe online environments before.

I guess I'm saying this because of the new information that came out about that cc called kwite. I just keep on thinking about how uncomfortable it sometimes makes me to be in the fandom of such a homoerotic ship and know so many fans are probably only 15 years old. It seems to be really safe so far despite that, and the soap opera you have going on in your inbox is hilarious, but I guess I'm just worried that this could change.

I absolutely wouldn't be surprised if you delete this ask, it's pretty uncalled for. I'm sorry. But I guess I'm sending this ask because I'm still a bit younger than you, and wanted to know if you had advice for staying safe in online communities.

Only if you're okay with answering, of course. I really hope this wasn't too upsetting to read. I love your work, and I really hope you get that surgery you've been waiting on soon. Get well <3

I really do worry abt younger ppl in this fandom bc the internet safety things that were common when I was fifteen are becoming less and less common, so I would actually love to list a few

Do not share personal info, especially in your bio or pinned post and especially if it could be used to track you down irl (e.g. which city you live in, where you go to school, pictures of a local library/coffee shop/restaurant, your birthday, pictures of your face)

Tumblr is different from places like Facebook or Instagram because you are under no obligation to tell anyone your real name or show anyone your real face, you can and should embrace internet anonymity here because it's one of the last major websites where you can do so

Just saying you are a minor is enough (and you don't even have to do that, no one is entitled to know how old you are), you don't have to go out and tell everyone exactly how old you are because that opens the door for weirdos

You will know if something makes you uncomfortable, trust yourself and listen to that instinct. Even if you can't explain why a certain person/fic/art made you feel uncomfortable, listen to that feeling. Trust your gut feelings because they will figure out something is bad long before you figure out if goes against your boundaries in some way. Children are taught to ignore gut feelings like that, "Oh, it's not a big deal, go give your creepy uncle a hug or you're gonna hurt his feelings". But especially on the internet, where you can end up in dangerous or traumatizing territory without even realizing it until it's too late, you need to listen to your first instinct.

Just to harp on the above point a bit, if talking to someone makes you feel anxious, if you ever have to hype yourself up before you go to message a certain friend because sometimes the things they say make you feel weird, if talking to someone ever makes you feel weird about yourself or second guess things, if they ever ask you to do something you're not comfortable with (even if it's not at all sexual!! If you're talking to a mutual, and you mention you broke your foot and they ask to see the cast, if that makes you uncomfortable this still applies) If any of that happens, take a step back. Distance yourself from the person who made you uncomfortable for about a week and reassess how you feel. If there have been other times they've made you feel weird or uncomfortable, block them. It is totally okay and even expected to block people on Tumblr for literally any reason. It is always better safe than sorry. If this is the first time they've made you feel weird, explain the situation to them and establish a boundary. If they break that boundary, then it's blocking time. It might seem harsh, but to cultivate a safe online experience, you have to have safe people around you, and safe people respect boundaries 100% of the time.

tl;dr don't share unnecessary personal information with strangers on the internet, and if anyone makes you uncomfortable for any reason, do not hesitate to block them. You don't owe anyone anything.

And as tntblr's appa, I've gotta put this out there. If you feel unsafe in our online space or you're not sure what to do about something making you uncomfortable, then my dms are an open, judgement-free zone. I will do my best to help you out, and at the very least, I'm a pretty good listener. Sometimes all you need is a sanity sounding board.

[weezeryuri]

the followup ask wasn't me but otherwise yep, right person! "privacy"? the privacy of posting about me for a year straight, on a public account, on a public site, surrounded by peers? on the account MY friend was ~mutuals~ with you on, where he had to see you shittalking me on his dash weekly? the privacy of misinterpreting every thing i said to you so you can hide your (justifiably) hurt feelings behind "Actually ableism is the fault of all of this!"? the privacy of painting me as an ableist, as your Gross Icky Pr*ship Ex Friend, trying to get everyone to pity you, be on your side, because "it was an ugly friend breakup" won't justify the extent of your feelings (IT WOULD), in your head? THE PRIVACY OF DECRYING ME AS AN "INCEST SHIPPER" (NOT EVEN TRUE)???? i wasn't even looking at your blog in the first place, i heard secondhand, that's how ignorant and obvious your comments were. your words and Ideas about someone (that you Literally Are publically crying out) don't exist in a vacuum, they MEAN something, and other people will hear them. or did you care about decrying your Beloved Exfriend, Older [Sister] Figure as this and that hurtful thing and the impact of it as much as you cared about the friendship i was struggling and reaching out a hand (that i never Needed or Expected you to reply to) to maintain and let live and, I Dunno, Not let you be isolated in an echo chamber of your own anxiety forever? the attempted friendship that you valued less than venting on tumblr all day long? that you valued as much as listening to your two remaining friends that were trying to help you? but have fun believing me checking in on you for months on end, encouraging you when you Were capable of saying anything, waiting for you no matter what, trying to involve you in our lives so you weren't permanantly stuck in 2021 alone and unloved and unheard, and sending you paragraph after paragraph of apology and clarification to clean up the mess i made... was just ableism. i hope you enjoy never thinking about it, never rereading what i said, and pinning every shitty thing i did on Must be cause i'm oppressed, and living without the nuance you claim to use. i hope you enjoy crying about it publically to people you only talk to indirectly, to people who will never get to know you directly, because you've made your stance on any closeness or attempts at it deathly clear. i hope you keep whining that i'm only "ableist", and i hope nobody truly hears you, like it has been for the last year. rot in your own refusal to change

Jesus Christ man you do realize you said some horrendous and ableist shit to me (i still have screencaps before you go calling me a lying piece of shit) and have actively gone out of my way to block you and anyone who interacts with you on here.

you took advantage of my sadness at a very vulnerable time and used that to fight with me over shipping discourse because i dared to imply i’m scared of a group directly connected to my groomers

you need to fucking get your shit together because the way you’re acting is pathetic and the shit you did was horrible and you have no right to decide what and what isn’t ableist. of course it isn’t ableist to you. nobody ever gives a shit unless we’re directly being called useless cripples.

grow the fuck up and leave my life entirely. you did not try to involve me in your lives, you messaged me at 3 am telling me all my problems were my fault such as using cases of my chronic fatigue to paint me as lazy and careless. and then said you didn’t like me since 2020.

i GRIEVED our friendship. you hurt me over the dumbest shit when i was at our most vulnerable when i thought i could trust you. it was performative at best and actively hateful at the worst. you used words from a private vent blog to make me feel like shit

“wow cripple you didn’t suck up your fatigue and talk to me? you must hate me so much and want us all dead and think I’m a predator and and and etc etc”

this is my blog and i can post about whatever the fuck i want. i never mentioned your name or where to find you. please go the fuck away because now i can just confirm this is an act of purposeful malice and it hurts. i trusted you so much.