#and i get it! i too would dislike an album knowing that behind the scenes it was a mess

[brltpop]

Lads, gents and others.... i get it. I understand the -very valid- resentment that paramore's self titled album holds, but i think you're taking it waaaay too far by saying it's the worst paramore album made so far.

[127luvr]

Hey, could you do (if u feel up to it) a platonic NCT Dream x male reader where he feels he doesn't fit into the group (only added in 2019)

Thanks

Best Friend 𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝⋆｡˚ 𓇼

Nct Dream x Male Reader

It was early 2019 when the company announced you were to be added to Nct Dream. The exact date slips your mind more than you would care to admit. Mostly due to the fact that everything seemed too rushed—from Mark’s graduation—to your sudden addition—to the release of the first album as Dream without Mark Lee.

You were never sure if the decision to add you to the group was something the company had planned beforehand or something they came up with on the spot—you were too scared to ask. Nevertheless, fans had the same questions. They were split—half saying that this scheme the company had planned to replace Mark wasn’t going to work—while the other half were defending you. Busy making sure your name wasn’t dragged through the mud just because of the shady planning behind the scenes. None of it was your fault—the graduation system was always something that was on the table for the unit.

Knowing this information and understanding it didn’t stop you from feeling guilty.

Your late addition was awkward at first—having never been in the group when Mark was in it shifted the dynamic. You didn’t have to get used to Jeno being the leader, you were introduced when he was the leader. And although they never consciously made the effort to make you feel excluded, the feeling was still there. It was clear that they were still grieving the loss of their friend in their group—and suddenly here you were. Preparing for their first album without Mark.

After the success of We Boom, you went from being Mark’s replacement to just (Y/s/n). Fans saw you as a proper member now—and while there were still some skeptics, they acknowledged you and your talents. There were no malicious intentions towards you but something still didn’t feel right.

Following Reload, you were tired. It had been over a year since you had been added to the group but the feeling of being a disposable member was still overwhelmingly present. You felt like you were watching the members from afar, as if you were still a trainee admiring them from a screen. So close but never quite close enough to reach out to. There was no point in bringing up your concerns with them—scared of how they’d react to it, considering they have been friends long before you were a part of the company. If one of the members disliked you—it was more than probable that the rest would follow.

When the news broke out that the company was abolishing the graduation system, the group was overjoyed. Of course, you were excited too. You got to experience Mark Lee in the same group that you were in. But as the time quickly came to pass, his addition back into the group made you feel worse. He was everything you envied. Perfect at dancing—at singing—at rapping—at communicating. There was nothing he couldn’t do.

Luckily this came at a time where a full album was being promoted—no one would be able to analyze your interactions with your unit if you were busy in others.

“You’ve been avoiding us.” Sooner or later—you would have had to face your members. You had hoped it would be later. Maybe never, as you would have rather spent your time watching videos on the internet on yourself—how you didn’t fit into the group as a whole—let alone your set unit. But it’s come now, in the form of leader Mark in all his glory. “I know I haven’t been back for long, (Y/n). I know that this has been our first comeback as an eight member group, but something’s off.”

It’s after a live video. The eight of you are sitting in the living room of the large dorms. Jeno, Jaemin, Mark and Jisung all share a couch while Chenle sits on the floor. You share the couch opposite to them with Haechan and Renjun, sitting as far as you could get with your ankles crossed. It’s an uncomfortable silence that follows Mark’s words, all eyes on you while you played with the frayed ends of your sweatshirt.

“(Y/n). We are all a part of this group. Regardless of how long everyone’s known each other, you are a part of this family too.”

“I’ve been waiting so long to hear that.” There are collective gasps that come from around the room. It catches you off guard when you make eye contact with an angry Jaemin. His hard eyes paired with his long eyelashes intimidate you.

“(Y/n), I know you’re entitled to how you feel and this has been such a drastic change for you, but we have been trying with you for over a year. We have gone out of our way to make sure you didn’t feel left out.” You hate how well he’s able to articulate himself even under stress, his words falling on your ears heavily as he continues. “I do want to apologize on behalf of everyone for not noticing how hard you were struggling, we should’ve pieced it together. You never came to us with problems but we also never established that you could. We’re sorry for never giving you verbal communication but you can’t say we didn’t try. We are not a group who has to really say things out loud so we understand each other but you didn’t know that.”

You let yourself inch closer to the members next to you. There was no point in trying to make yourself smaller when the attention was still centered on you. It’s an odd sensation—to think back on the interactions you’ve had with individual members.

They were always there for you—whether it was a simple affirmation from Jeno or an invite to hot pot from either Renjun and Haechan. To them it was small acts to try and ease you into the group—it was sharing water outside of the recording booth in between sessions. It was sharing jackets and pushing their leftovers towards you if they didn’t want anymore.

“Jaemin… Haechan, Renjun, Jeno, Jisung, Chenle,” you make eye contact with each member as you call out their names, trying to express how you felt through your eyes, “Mark. I was too in my own head—thinking about how you guys didn’t like me or want me here that all of the effort you put into making me feel wanted and welcome was ignored.” You couldn’t hold eye contact with Mark anymore, too embarrassed to acknowledge his nod of encouragement.

“We also should apologize.” Jeno’s voice startles you. Even if he was across the room, his voice carried so far it sounded as if he were sitting right next to you. “We should’ve done a better job of noticing that you were struggling.”

“I think if we keep going like this we’ll never stop passing the blame around.” You can’t help but smile at Jisung’s comment, mouthing a small thank you towards Jeno as he elbowedJisung’s side.

“Jisung’s right for once!”

The group erupts in laughter, the scene causing you to chuckle through teary eyes.

“Here’s to new beginnings, guys. We’re a family.” Mark’s eyes never stray from you and for the first time in over a year, you believe those words.

[pennyluna]

Misunderstandings Part 2

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader (18+) Wordcount: around 1.8+k

Genre: working together au. Cold playboy au. Future something au. 18+

This is the story from Yoongi's POV... explaining his sudden change!

WARNING: This story contains some bad words/strong language! Contains also spicy scenes, so please be aware before reading it.

YOONGI'S POV

I'm in my Hotel Suite, my brain wont shut off, so much chaos going on and in the middle of it all is the answer to that song I've been working on, I finally found the missing piece to complete it and that is why I am getting dressed up and waiting for the private driver to pick me up and take me to the studio. I get on the SUV that has been waiting for me in the underground parking and head to the studio.

I've been working for a while and decided to open a bottle of wine, The song is coming up pretty good, I have no doubt it will be another hit. Working on this new album has been hard but it has been a great experience, visiting different places and getting to know new people have made it even better.

I took a break to make a phone call and stretch my legs in the hallway but when I return to the studio I realize that I'm locked outside. -I left the damn keys inside, fucking great-.

Security said they would call (Y/N) for the spare keys. -Dammit- Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike her, in fact the moment those elevator doors opened that first day and we made eye contact, something clicked in my head, she is gorgeous! Her eyes showed irritation no doubt due to our being late but her smile hid it well, her hair a little messy on top of her head with a couple of strands framing her face, her lips plump and perfectly pink. Like I said, GORGEOUS. I stared at her so much that I couldn't even hear a word of what she said and don't get me started on the building tour, I have no clue of where anything is, my eyes never left her. 

After a couple of one on one meetings the sexual tensions between us was strong and undeniable so after those meetings I tried to be careful, I didn't want to get too close, I didn't want a rumor to start, I am very aware of my player reputation and she doesn't seem like the girl you play with. So her coming here at almost midnight when I had some wine and no one else is around doesn't seem like a good idea, yet here I am waiting in front of the elevator for her.

I'm holding my phone trying my best not to stare at her when the elevator doors open, she is not wearing her usual office clothes and  looks hot, she has a cute smile on and proceeds to walk to the studio door, following behind I cant help but look at her and my eyes land on her ass, so perfect in those skinny jeans -Good job not staring jackass- she opens the door and I invite her in -Its okay, nothing will happen, I've got it under control.- She is looking around my studio in awe and my ayes are roaming her body, until they land on her perfect boobs, I can see the outline of her nipples -FUCK!!!- I offer her a glass of wine since it seemed she had already been drinking some, I smelted it in her mixed with whatever she washed her hair with, I think its honey.

We've been talking for a while, we have some things in common, she talks passionately and I cant help but stare, she is smart and funny and bold at the same time, so refreshing. We are getting along well but some how now I am holding her wrist and holding her close to me, I cant take my eyes off her, my eyes now landing on her breast -God I want to suck on them- I shake my head and proceed to stand up abruptly walking away from her, this is not a good idea, us happening is not a good idea.

We agree on her leaving and once she is out of the studio I feel restless, I stay there, door open and heart racing -I did the right thing-. After a few minutes later she suddenly appears at the door again, she walks in explaining how she had forgotten her things and when she walks to leave again I raise my hand to wave goodbye but grab her wrist instead. -It took everything in me to let her walk away once, I was not gonna let it happen a second time-

"Maybe you should stay"

I pull her to me and wait for her to stop me, to ask me to let her go but instead she simply says "Maybe you should stay too"

-FUUCK-  She didn't pull away from me so I don't  wait for any other words and proceed to kiss her passionately, giving a start to the things I've been thinking of doing to her since the first moment our eyes connected.

.............................. The morning after................................

I wake up still a bit tired from last night and look around, I'm still in the studio with (Y/N) in my arms, she looks so peaceful, so beautiful and all the memories from last night get back to me, the sex was amazing, the way she moaned my name, the way she tasted, our bodies were made for each other. -God she is perfect and she is mine-. I've never felt this way about another girl before.

I get up carefully to avoid waking her up, I want to get us coffee first so I head to the mini kitchen on this floor to make us some but the machine isn't working so I head to the 21st floor where (Y/N) office is, I know they have a working machine there. There is not many people in the building at this time so I am not too worried about someone seeing me grab two cups.

Getting closer to the kitchen I start hearing voices, I listen for a bit trying to make out how many people could be there but suddenly I hear my name followed by some giggles, so I don't move and start contemplating maybe getting coffee somewhere else, then (Y/N) name comes up and my curiosity makes me pay more attention.

"ㅡ yeah she totally got lucky"

"ugh yeah she gets to work with Min Yoongi" her tone seems a bit annoyed and I wonder how this girl would feel if she knew I was overhearing this conversation.

"He is so hot!! I wish I could work under him... if you know what I mean" she sounds flirty and I cant help but roll my eyes.

a third girl joins in "OMG Girl, no! be professional!" I have heard her voice before but I cant think of her face.

"What? you wouldn't do it? After all he has a certain reputation" the flirty one says.

"I totally would let him doㅡ" says the second girl before she is interrupted by the girl who's voice I know.

She sounds a little flustered "NOㅡyou could loose your job. Getting Involved withㅡ. Even just a rumor about it would ruin her. (Y/N) wouldn't risk her career and her reputation over some dick. She would get kicked out of the industry." -WHAT??-

I seem to stop listening after that final statement and start walking back to the studio -She could loose her job, she could loose it all. She loves her career- my mind is foggy and now there is no trace of that hopeful calm I had when I woke up with her in my arms. She had told me how much she loves her job and The Idea that my being with her would ruin her entire career is making me sick, my reputation could ruin her. I need to do something, I cant be the reason she looses everything she has worked so hard for.

By the time I walk back into the studio I have made a decision, we cant happen, I need to distance myself and I need to make sure I do it carefully so this wont disrupt our work relationship, so that I can continue to see her even if I cant have her. I practice my speech sitting at my desk, waiting for her to wake up.

When I hear her moving around I tense and pretend to do some work in my computer, my chest feels tight.

She walks towards me and I cant bring myself to look at her because I know just looking into her eyes will stop me from doing what's best for her. I open my mouth to speak but there is no trace of my speech in my head anymore.

"Your bag and Keys are by the piano" -Why do i sound so cold? this is not what i wanted to go for-

she starts speaking, she sounds disappointed and I cant bear it so still without looking at her I dismiss her "I will see you at the meeting this afternoon".

She seems to start breathing heavily, grabs her things and walks to the door. I can feel her looking at me, almost like if she was waiting for me to stop her... but I wont. Not this time. She opens the door and leaves and my heart seems to go with her.

I couldn't do any work in the studio after she left, specially not after I found her tank top so I headed back to my hotel suite taking it with me and decided to get some rest before the meeting this afternoon.

At the meeting I tried to act as natural as I could, but after not being able to get much rest this morning, it was obvious that I wasn't going to be focusing much and with (Y/N) in the room it was going to be almost impossible. I wanted to know if she was okay, I wanted her close.

(Y/N) got into the conference room looking flawless as usual, at first glance she looked like her normal self but looking at her up close, her eyes looked a bit red and tired. The meeting went smoothly even though I did not pay much attention to anything but her. I don't understand why but she had been mine for just a few hours and I was already addicted, how is that even possible! I need to start acting like the cold player everyone says I am and being it with her will hurt me.

I barely saw (Y/N) in the next few days, it has been hell. she would send her assistant interpreter to collect or deliver any documents needed from me or to assist in minor events, when asked about it she said it was for training purposes. The 2 times we had to meet for one on one meetings, she was direct and professional but cold and fuck that was hurting me. There was no trace of her sweetness and it is torture. I miss her.  I can't have her being cold with me But how can I have her back without destroying what she has worked so hard for? 

Tonight I have an event she can't avoid, I have to be at The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon and it being an important point of the schedule, the main interpreter was expected to be there. I have a plan in mind and I will put it in motion tonight at the after party!

A.N: I hope you like this one, any feedback is welcome and I would really appreciate likes a reblogs. The next couple of chapters have already been written and I am working on publishing at least once a week! If you have any requests please send them too.

[a-couple-of-notes]

Too Many Words on Mean Girls the Musical

The discovery of Mean Girls (2024) has sent me into a genuine tailspin, y'all. The adaptation nerd in me is intrigued and screaming. The younger version of myself for whom Mean Girls on Broadway acted as a gateway to musical theater is just screaming. The film school graduate is confused???

I think I'd much rather gush over why the original stage show, despite its flaws, does work--it's generally more fun for me to dissect a thing that I love rather than something I dislike--but the fact is, I am STILL trying to figure out what the hell I actually think about the 2024 movie. I guess this is my flailing, word-vomit style attempt to do so.

Okay, some context: I have watched all three versions in their entirety. I think the 2004 movie is very well-done and absolutely deserves its status as a cultural icon, but I've always connected more with the original Mean Girls musical, which ran on Broadway from 2018-2020. It was one of the first musicals I ever got into, one of the first cast albums I ever bought with my own money, and though over time I came to recognize many of its flaws (the lyrics can be hokey, I wish they'd threaded in Cady's stars motifs better, there's an argument a bajillion people have already made about the girls not being mean enough, etc.), Broadway!MG was always going to hold the peak Mean Girls place in my heart.

But I'm also an adaptation nerd, and I was fully aware of my bias going into the 2024 musical movie. I tried to keep an open a mind as possible, even looking forward to changes and what they might do with new character interpretations or space from cut songs. Maybe I didn't do a good enough job keeping that open mind, because I'm seeing a lot of people who liked the musical saying that this was an okay adaptation. I just. I don't know what they watched. I don't know what I watched.

In roughly chronological (read: increasingly ????) order, a list of bullet points:

I understand the motive behind replacing "It Roars"--not because I think "It Roars" is a weak song, though. I think "It Roars" is actually quite good, despite some debatably rough lyrics; it neatly sets up Cady's excitable energy ("I've got new things to try / like high school, and skateboards, and rapping / and Starbucks venti chai"), her roots in Africa (the drumbeat musical sound, which will recur through Cady's songs), and her naiveté ("Hi teens!"). The transition from African drumbeats/Disney princess to pop/rock as the percussion and guitar kick in really effectively communicates the transition from Cady's world to the world of Western high school. Most importantly, though, "It Roars" introduces us to Cady's fundamental want and a big theme of the show: friendship and belonging. ("They all want to be included like me / so eventually, I'll win!")

But 2024!Cady is a different character, and the movie seems to want to explore different themes (maybe??). So it makes sense that they would need a different opening number, because they're establishing different things. 2024!Cady is quieter, but much more unhappy in Africa; her main want is to live life freely and without regret. Fair enough! That works well with how she'll be challenged in the story, wanting to try living like the Plastics but being forced to hold back in the process. I can get behind that.

HOWEVER. Cady's signature sound is gone, as are pretty much all the signature styles, leaving the musical language of the film much weaker. By replacing "It Roars" but leaving other songs the same ("Apex Predator" and "I See Stars," mostly), they muddy the themes and metaphors threaded throughout. And crucially, they frame "What Ifs" and "Stupid with Love" as dream sequences that get cut off by the Real World of high school.

This is...certainly a decision. It sets up expectations about how the music works in this world that they can't follow through on--there are scenes Cady doesn't see, and therefore cannot dream-musicalize. So when normal people start singing outside Cady's perspective, it's so jarring, because this high school has not been established as a Musical World. (Compounded by the ensemble and the instrumentation sounding thin, and Cady's performance being like it is.)

The establishing of the music as Cady's dream sequences also does a disservice to the real feeling of high school. High school is big and dramatic and the emotions you feel are larger than life. To delineate it so firmly, to have it only be so big and campy in Cady's head, like a sort of "oh, look at that weirdo, thinking that high school is like a musical" feels, to me, so much less genuine.

It sort of felt like if they could have gotten away with playing all the musical numbers as insert songs over the actual action, they would have. They tried so hard.

I think the orchestrations in general are bad and afraid to be a musical. And I don't get people who say that "they had to tone it down for the screen, because you don't have to go as big on screen." I mean, I do, but there is precedent for doing big, loud, ensemble-heavy numbers on screen and it working. Look at The Prom movie, or Hairspray. Look at freaking High School Musical. They could have done it, and it wouldn't have broken the cinema screen or anything.

I love Renee Rapp, I do. But Cady is the protagonist of the story for a reason (just like Emma was the protagonist of The Prom for a reason, and look, the same thing happened there.) Broadway!MG worked because, under all of Regina and Damian's show-stopping numbers, Cady was there as the emotional backbone of the show. You can have your "Stop"s and your "World Burn"s because you have "More is Better" or the reprise of "Fearless" that is tragically missing from the OBC. I always had the sense in the show that everything would eventually feed into Cady's arc; she would learn something from the number (or refuse to), and/or whatever happened through the song would affect her behavior going forward. The sense I get from 2024!Cady is that she exists to be swallowed up by Renee Rapp, which, good for her, but it can't support the narrative.

In general, they've just gutted a lot of Cady's internality by cutting her songs (and her musical asides! Justice for the musical asides!), leading to this lack of agency/accountability/character. Which I find dishearteningly funny, given that the Broadway cast have talked about how this was an issue the creative team was aware of in the original stage show, and how hard they worked to fix it.

I disagree with the notion that the dialogue scenes could replace the impact of these songs. I just don't see it. Once you add musical numbers, you're adding emphasis--here's the big emotional moments I want you to pay attention to. And the emotion dips back down, so we talk--and here's another big emotion, so music, pay attention. The 2024 movie has told us what it considers important: the fun numbers and the Plastics, mostly Regina. And that completely kneecaps the core narrative arc (as well as the pacing, because we're speeding through in weird places before stopping down for a full Regina song).

I just. I really don't know why (narratively--I understand the meta-reasons and they're bad) they cut "More is Better." I'm not joking when I say the movie would have been significantly better with it in. It would have improved the pacing, at least in a musical sense, because going straight from "Revenge Party" to "Someone Gets Hurt (Reprise)" left a surprisingly noticeable gap that made me wonder if they'd forgotten what they were adapting. It would have given Cady a little more voice, and it would have fit really well thematically with what should have been the arc of 2024!Cady--living without holding back, living sincerely. (Also, since Aaron is literally the only person this Cady cares about, that reality check would have packed an even greater wallop.)

I will give credit to the scene with Cady crying as her mom comforts her. That was a good scene.

I was glad they reprised "What Ifs" briefly in the Mathletes competition, although I do miss "Do This Thing," especially because I think it would have worked with 2024!Cady's character arc.

Also, I do sort of get putting "Stupid with Love" over the Mathletes/getting ready for prom, but why the "calcu-lust" portion of the song? And why is it the only song to depart from the musical style this movie is determined to stick to (I'm not counting Damian's iCarly rendition, great as it is--that's meant to be a joke.)

"I See Stars." Okay. Unironically, I love this song as the ending of the Broadway show. I do. You can fight me on it. In Broadway!MG, Cady's driving want is the need to belong, the need for friends; "I See Stars" is her reaching out to the other students (and the audience) and "including" everyone, finally achieving that sense of belonging and friendship by being kind to everyone. The ensemble all coming in and saying "We're all stars," when at the beginning they are so opposed to her ("Just ignore her!") or focused on Regina warms my heart every time. It so earnestly resolves the thematic through line (and also I love Erika's voice).

HOWEVER, it does not work in the 2024 movie. 2024!Cady's desire has never been about friends or belonging. Again, she wants to be herself and live without regrets. I could buy that she would sing an inspirational finale a la "I'd Rather Be Me" or a rousing reprise of "What Ifs" to say something like "we can all do what we want AND be kind to each other." But the thematic throughline to "I See Stars" is much thinner--and the ensemble doesn't even sing together! It defeats the original power of the songs and makes it one more insert song.

I guess what confuses me about this movie the most is that the two takes I've seen are "they changed everything about the arrangements, now it sucks" and "must a movie be good? I enjoy the 2024 movie for what is is." I generally dislike the arrangements, yes, but I think changes to a source material can be interesting and worthwhile, and honestly, the musical arrangements/production is only one of many problems I had with the movie.

And on the other hand, I think I'm frustrated because I wish I could enjoy the 2024 movie for what it is. After all, I enjoy Broadway!MG for what it is, calcu-lust and all.

But maybe that's why--Broadway!MG knows what it is, and genuinely, goofily revels in it. Mean Girls (2024) is a wild mishmash of pop music and TikToks playing over Renee Rapp and the amalgamation of three different scripts of Mean Girls, filmed by a camera that won't stop spinning. That is to say, I don't think Mean Girls (2024) has any more of an idea what it is than I do.

[concerthopperblog]

Avenged Sevenfold’s Life is But a Dream Tour

Avenged Sevenfold is a band I’ve followed and listened to for a long time. From their early years until now, they have evolved collectively as a band, overcoming many hurdles over the years, and also evolved their music simultaneously.

Being a member of their NFT token club, the Deathbats Club, or the DBC, I knew I had no choice but to jump at the opportunity to photograph them during their stop on the Life Is But A Dream tour. For those of you who have no clue about the DBC, I’ll drop some helpful information at the end of this article.

Their opening act was Kim Dracula. There’s no better way to explain Kim’s music than saying this is just the beginning for him. While still very fresh on the scene, his potential is limitless. You could describe him as similar to a fine wine, one could say. He will only get better and better with time. If you think he’s a sleeper, you’re wrong. This Australian act will be a top contender in a few years!

Kim Dracula is an Australian alternative/indie music artist whose songs have achieved popularity on TikTok.

Following behind was another artist I’ve listened to for a long time and this would be Ronnie Radke’s Falling in Reverse. Ronnie has a truly unique perspective when it comes to music and it’s brilliant. Falling in Reverse continues to bend genres and isn’t defined to any type of music. His vision is his vision and the passion spills into the crowd with every note. Love him or hate him, as most people do one of those, you can’t deny that he has an extreme amount of talent and passion. The music scene and the world needs more of Ronnie, a genuine person who speaks their mind and continues to break the norms. The highlight of the show wasn’t him playing “Popular Monster” or “The Drug In Me Is You,” rather than when he split the pit wide open, hyped everyone up to go hard, and then sang Smash Mouth’s “All-Star!” Ronnie has a vision that is beautiful and insane.

The chair emerges and a spotlight beams down as M Shadows, draped in his “Nobody” ski mask, is sitting observing the crowd work into a small frenzy. “Game Over” and “Mattel” began and blended into each other. The best part of Game Over is the old-school hardcore punk feel it gives off, no doubt a tribute to Brooks Wackerman’s, Avenged Sevenfold’s drummer, legendary past bands within the punk scene. Most people disliked the new album from Avenged Sevenfold, but those people failed to see their vision. It’s about really pushing the envelope on music and their capabilities as artists. It’s about writing meaningful lyrics, it’s about topics they’re passionate about, and it’s about them producing an album that they love. Any band can regurgitate the same sound over and over, failing to evolve or change direction, and some do. While this album wasn’t for everyone, you can tell it was for them and the fans who just love all kinds of music. My favorite part of it all is that you can see how much they love to play this album. M Shadows looks like he’s constantly having a blast on stage. When an artist truly loves what they’re playing and it translates to live concerts, there’s no doubt that the audience feels it too.

While many old-school fans teared up during “So Far Away,” especially with a silhouette of their late drummer, The Rev, it was evident that there were a lot of new fans within the crowd. The largest burst of excitement from the entire night rang out when the iconic warbling sound, for a lack of better words, bellowed to mark the beginning of “Nobody.”

For those of you who aren’t familiar with NFTs asor anything involving web3, that makes two of us. I’m not a cryptobro or an expert on the subject, but I do know about the DBC. While some NFTs are just JPEGs as some may say, the DBC is much more. They have perks or utilities attached to each one of them. What that means is that every Deathbat within the club has basic perks of skipping the line at every headlining show, exclusive DBC merch, and giveaways for members only and that’s every Deathbat. There are Deathbats that are rarer and more expensive and come with even more perks like meet and greet access for life, free tickets for life, limited merch drops, or even coffee with Brooks or golfing with M. Shadows. You can purchase DBC tokens on Coinbase NFT here!

The best part of the DBC is how active the band is within the Avenged Sevenfold Discord, especially M Shadows. He’s always in the Discord channel interacting with fans and he’s always lurking. Within the Discord channel, you can find the “Token Hub,” which is where you can ask anyone about how to purchase a DBC token if you’re on the fence or don’t know how to. Their Discord channel is really a one-stop shop for everything associated with the band, whether it is their march, tour dates, Drinks with Johnny, or anything else. The DBC acts like a family, queue “Welcome to the Family,” and it operates as such as well. Whether you want to purchase a Deathbat, that’s up to you, but giving the exclusive merch and skip-the-line perks alone is enough for me, hence why I own several DBC tokens, but being a fan is more than enough for the band and their 3rd leg of the Life Is But A Dream tour is rolling out next year, so make sure you check them out near you!

AVENGED SEVENFOLD "Life Is But A Dream…" 2024 North American tour dates:

March 06 - Buffalo, NY - KeyBank Center March 07 - Toronto, ON - Scotiabank Arena March 09 - Cleveland, OH - Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse March 11 - Grand Rapids, MI - Van Andel Arena March 13 - Cincinnati, OH - Heritage Bank Center March 15 - Des Moines, IA - Wells Fargo Arena March 16 - Lincoln, NE - Pinnacle Bank Arena* March 18 - Moline, IL - Vibrant Arena at The Mark March 19 - Indianapolis, IN - Gainbridge Fieldhouse March 21 - Uncasville, CT - Mohegan Sun Arena March 23 - Manchester, NH - SNHU Arena March 25 - Pittsburgh, PA - PPG Paints Arena March 26 - Columbus, OH - Nationwide Arena March 28 - Knoxville, TN - Thompson- Boling Arena March 29 - Raleigh, NC - PNC Arena March 31 - Newark, NJ - Prudential Center

* Without SULLIVAN KING; featuring support from VENDED

[voidthegremlin]

I made Metalocalypse OC.

Name: Mars Explosion

Age: 22

Gender: Male (He/Him/His)

Sexuality: Gay (MLM)

Looks: Red hair (Dyed, black roots), Green eyes and caramel skin. He's usually seen wearing a black t-shirt and a cranberry colored hoodie, along with ripped jeans, a black spiked choker and matching bracelets/cuffs. He has a light colored (healed) claw scars over his left eye. He also has a scar running from slightly above his upper lip, down to where his bottom lip is attached to his face.

Personality: Mars is a quiet, calculated and focused individual on the surface. Along with his looks, his surface personality is what differences him from his elder brother and Dethklok Frontman, Nathan Explosion. Though beneath that hard, structured exterior is a goofy, playful, supportive interior. He's truly not as tough as he seems to be, but he still does his best being supportive behind the scenes of his brother's band.

Likes: Death Metal, Dethklok, Spiked Accessories, Knives, Guitars, Drum sets, most of the band, Pickles, Toki, Nathan, Spicy food and sweets from time to time, Animals, Music, Caffeine (More specifically energy drinks.)

Neutral: William Murderface, Charles, Dethphones, Really any brand/merch Dethklok makes, The Fans.

Dislikes: Skwisgaar, The Revengencers, Sour foods, Planet Piss, Bitter coffee, glitter, anything sparkly really, anything girly too.

Eye Color: Green. (Emerald Green, I think? I don't know, I can't tell different color variations well.)

Talents: He knows how to play the drums as well as the guitar, so if Toki or Pickles need a break for an album, Mars doesn't mind pitching in at all. He also helps record from time to time if Dick doesn't feel up to it, or needs a minute away from the band.

Backstory: Concerning the brother of an incredibly famous death metal band singer/frontman of Dethklok, Mars' story isn't really interesting, but there are a lot of key moments in his life with Nathan that he remembers and cherishes. Nathan was the first person that introduced him to death metal, and really got him into it. Even though he's "super busy" with concerts and merchandise, Mars can't remember a time where Nathan had forgotten to send him a birthday card with money, or free merch for Christmas. Though, it was unfortunate that seeing him in person was rare. He only ever got video calls or phone calls, or saw him in concert on TV. The tickets were so expensive and so many people die at his shows...so from home is better. It wasn't until the band's mothers/families came to visit that Mars got to see Nathan again and meet his band members. And, because their moms, Mars was kept to stay in Mördhaüs, that and so he could spend time with Nathan and remend that bond.

Family: Nathan.

Friends: Toki, Pickles, Murderface (sometimes.)

Enemies/Neutral: Charles, Skwisgaar, Trindle, The Government, Magnus Hammersmith, Abigail.

Love Interest: Pickles or Murderface.

Extra Info:

• He's got a secret soft spot for Murderface. He hasn't told anyone about it because everyone refers to Murderface as "grotesque" and "ugly" and all in all a crappy person. But he doesn't really mind. It's a change of pace.

• He really, really REALLY dislikes Skwisgaar. No one knows why, but they HATE each other. You could say there was romantic tension there, but both Mars and Skwisgaar would rather kill themselves.

• Mars and Toki are best friends. Or, at least Mars thinks so. He can tell Toki anything and Toki can tell HIM anything. The duo hang out a lot, and he helped Toki with his grievance of his father.

• Mars' favorite food is potatoes. Baked Potatoes, French Fries, Chips, you name it. He doesn't like Mashed Potatoes though. Weird texture.

• Smokes and drinks with mainly Pickles. Easier to be around. Toki is emotional, Nathan becomes more of a dick, Murderface gets EXTRA emotional and Mars really just doesn't like Skwisgaar.

• He helps make the merch from time to time. Giving ideas or re-working the ones Nathan or anyone give.

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

Let’s face it all these women are very polarising ,from hearing bts ii,of how they are , pecieved by other women in the industry,nicki gets a lot of hate some of the similarities I have picked up on, Christina fire 🔥 ☀️ 🌎 🌙

Nicki Minaj fire 🔥 ☀️ 🌏 🌑,both Aquarius ♒️ risings ,also Demi fire 🔥 sun ☀️ 🌍 moon too but Demi is ♌️ rising ,Leon’s and Aquarius may be quite polarising anyway stuck in their ways ,it might be hard to believe but allegedly ,Christina likes girls and also the neighbours complained about her loud loud sex ,if u want to believe the BLIND ITEMS (pop culture sources told from people who aIknow in. Industry mainly anonymous ,she supposedly made her partner have sex lessons to please her and use him as a c*ck, and also has many lesbian affairs to hide who she really is in the industry. There is a lot of bearding. which is known in the blind item world where you are present with a straight couple, behind-the-scenes, you may be with the same sex, because in Hollywood, it’s still like almost found upon life, Demi and Christina are bisexual, so we know for a fact that she got it on with Demi when you seen her documentary how close you are is the same thing with like karlie kloss,and Taylor Swift, which I won’t admit I know much about what my podcast show tells me about that, so when a girl falls out of a girl, and it’s really big you know that it’s more than just friends, I will admit that this isn’t fair for women in the industry they get it a lot harder than the men, men can act in the same debauchery ways and be applauded, so you may feel like it’s very unfair to women, but then the patriarchy will say might get it as well. the sad part is that these women could all get on and be fine with each other, but I really definitely see a partnership between Demi Lovato and Christina Aguilera. I’m right now I’m gonna tell you a story. It started many many moons ago. Take you back to, let’s say 1999 or 98 okay pink meets Linda Perry, Linda Perry is a famous lesbian music writer she did the 1992 song. Hey what up, but I believe she’s more known for her songwriting. Anyway, pink who also is sexually fluid. I believe in many way Linda and they felt she felt like she had had a really special relationship with her now at the time they were really close they did everything together. They wrote that amazing album which I believe came out in 2001 miszundrstood. Yeah that was a tongue teaser so run this time. Also pink had a major feud with Christina Aguilera and she felt very loyal to Linda. This unfortunately didn’t happen both ways. Linda ended up working with Christina on stripped which may I say is one of my best albums of all time, if not my best album of all time, anyway, these songs were meant to be with pink and pink felt extremely hurt that Linda would go to the person she dislikes most in the industry and write an album with her, she felt incredibly hurt. Linda also worked with Gwen Stefani and what are you waiting for going back Christina as much as I loved her music and I loved stripped has never been a girl girl I’m in maybe in the bedroom but that’s another story for another day. Demi Lovato has been hated for more I hated. I don’t like that word, but disliked more for the fact that she presented is sober so many times she selfish with an ED. And then in the next documentary she would come out and say oh no, that was all rubbish had to change my team and I had two strokes and a heart attack. I had fentanyl instead of heroin and crack and she also got a lot of slack for slating Sammy, yoghurt shop I believe. But people need to realise you’ve damaged. She’s had massive brain injuries from drugs and you can’t expect like so much from this goes literally suffered from such a young age I mean she literally at the age of her trauma she is stuck at 16-year-old girl, I don’t know so much about her background, I’m not too sure. I need to look into that one because I always love her and I always loved how she looked but if she was a lesbian Irish for sure would jump on that train, but these women like I said in astrology, they are all fire sons with Christina And Nikki, both being Sagittarius sons and Taurus moon and Virgo moon, Nikki and then Leo son, Demi Taurus moon.

[verseziam]

I'm just going to say that don't say what jk did for jm as promo bc its in no way a promo, but you can call it support bc promo is for something to reach outside the known ppl like his posters but jk watched jm videos in lives that are watched by army who already watched these videos and know about jm's album, like yeah jk supported the album but he in no way promoted the album in place of the company in twt or other social media for it to reach gp, as an army before all members did support him too in their own way too like hobi and yg went to his live show, jk watched his videos, tae and nj posted something but in general not a lot but no member stood up for jm, so the dislike jm solos have for other members is not just unique to jk alone but what's hypocritical is when jkkrs don't acknowledge the fact that jm was sabotaged by the company because of their plan of making jk the breakout star, like that jkk blog you first answered hid many reasonable asks but only showed asks that are a bit in dislike and sarcasm like they can't answer anything reasonable so they try to make jm solos a bit bad like jk solos so they can easily paint us as antis but many jm solos didn't even drag jk but the company like jk solos who dragged jm with the most cruel and vile things, so yeah don't just say things like jk's a rebel when he said that the company's not gonna fire him bc he's not facing sabotages but taking privileges so yeah the company not gonna fire their investment its really not in accordance with jk and jm's bond..

sorry I should of worded it better. I meant he supported jimin and his album not prompted it. I'm a jikooker and I've literally said his team clearly sabotaged jimin and he wasn't promoted at all by his company/team.

but i think if anyone needs to be dragged it's the COMPANY not JK or the other members because it's not their fault. and I know how solo jks are and how they act toward jimin and it's terrible because I know jimin is the one who get's hated on for literally no reason but existing.

i've never liked their company but some of their fans swore up and down how good of a company they are and look what's happening to jimin. it's sad and it makes me angry that it seems like jimin is the only one their doing this to. i'm wondering if jimin did something or is rebelling behind the scenes and that's why the company is sabotaging him which isn't an excuse to promote your artist but i can't think of another reason why they would be singling out one member of a 7 member group.

but i don't know what's going on all i know is it's fucked that jimin is always getting hated on and now this happening with his album it's not fair at all but i'm not going to blame any of the members when I don't think it's their fault. it should be the company's fault for not promoting their artist and sticking up for them.

[colourfullyseethroughhead]

Hello,

I’m glad, that as you learn to make the perfect Cappuccino, all your attempts are yummy and you can enjoy them. 💚 i am currently drinking my Italian Roast coffee (k-cup). Yummy! It is a pretty morning.

Chen announcing a new mini-album! How wonderful! I enjoyed Xiumin teasing him to produce a dance song in the behind the scenes video of New Brand.

I enjoy kdramas. I will wait for a few more episodes of Soo’s new one before I watch it. I am glad to hear you enjoyed the first ep. Do you have any fav dramas?

Years ago, I remember watching “Hello Monster” and being captivated by a particular actor. I was new to EXO and had not realized that it was Kyungsoo. He did a very good job in that drama.

I am excited for Suho and his new drama. I know he really wants to act more so, yay!! for him. Have you watched any of Chanyeol’s dramas?

Do you have a favorite look or era of Chanyeol’s? I remember you mentioned you loved his Obsession Era. And any favorite photoshoots? I loved him with his Blonde/almost white undercut hairstyle in the W Korea photoshoot.

Have a wonderful week! Your ESS ❄️🎄

Oooh, Italian Roast sounds fancy! I admit I'm not much of a connoisseur or anything 😅 I ran out of milk today so I went to get a caramel latte from the bakery nearby and it felt good even just to breathe in the scent of it. ☕️

YES, I'm curious about the Chen mini album!! I admit I'm usually not a huge fan of ballads (I think I've said it before? 😅 not sure - and there are exceptions, of course) but I REALLY loved "Shall We", it was such a gorgeous song (I guess it wasn't a "typical ballad", either!). Wonder what his next title track is gonna be like! Argh, I haven't watched the behind the scenes videos from Brand New yet, though... But I remembered how someone (I think on Facebook?) pointed out how on the "wheel of fortune"(?? not sure what the correct English term is tbh) that you see in the Brand New MV, the symbols on it point to events in EXO's recent past (like rain for Suho's mini album and the 🎉 emoji for EXO's anniversary) - that person speculated that the symbols following were indicators for future EXO activities and the next symbol up was a cloud, which they speculated was for a Chen mini album. So it turned out to be correct! 😳 I'm so curious because the next symbols were wind (which would indicate... Sehun solo???) and a sun (which that person speculated was for Chanyeol - which I DO hope, he's been waiting for SO long - but I guess it might also be Baekhyun? Though his discharge is still some time away...).

Ahem, anyway 😅 As for dramas, the only one I ever watched start to finish was "Memories of the Alhambra", I LOVED that one OMG. I admittedly started watching for Chanyeol, but since he isn't in it much, I really watched it to the end just because it was THAT good. I watched a few episodes of "100 Days My Prince" but then I sort of lost interest? It wasn't bad, I'm just really not good at sticking with things most of the time. Oh, and I watched "How Are You Bread"! Good thing it was short. 😂 Don't think I've ever watched any non-EXO related dramas... But yesss, I'm happy for Suho, I remember him saying he wants to do more acting!! 😊 As for Chanyeol's dramas (other than MotA) - I started watching "EXO Next Door" (does that count? 😂) but it was so cringey I kind of couldn't get myself to go on (not that I disliked it, it was just kind of too much for me to take?? I still want to finish it at some point!! 😂). I don't think I've watched any others...

Oof. Looks/eras for Chanyeol... There's a few. 😂 Yes, I enjoyed his Obsession look. Generally him with light pink hair (so Obsession and The War era), OR with red hair (Overdose, Ex'act/Lotto) OR with silver hair (Exodus/Love Me Right, Don't Fight The Feeling) are my favourites. But argh, the white blonde look was good, too 😣 The photoshoot question is difficult, I don't think I have too many particular photoshoots in mind... so I'm afraid I can't really answer that question, sorry dear Santa. 😓 I'll try to give it some thought...

I hope you have a lovely weekend!! 🤍

[kpopmakesmequestionmylifechoices]

Kingdom Round 3: "Plagiarism", rigged voting and fanwars.

[Disclaimer: It is possible that for fans of certain groups I'll come off as offensive. I like each of the groups, I possess albums of TBZ, SF9 & SKZ, and I watched HOURS of content/debut programs of ALL the participating groups. Nevertheless, I will ALWAYS say my honest opinion. If you want to fight me, you're ofc allowed to do so but I hope you're all mature enough to not feel offended by opinions.]

Act 1: Tbz, where do your ideas come from?

So what I've noticed is that there's a massive difference between tbz behind the scenes and other groups'. Not only in this episode. So far, tbz simply DID NOT show how they create ideas, stages, how they practice. They picked a song, fooled around, and then met up with RTK members. It was cute sure, but it had NOTHING to do with the stage. The other groups showed practice scenes, showed their ideation process, showed who taught them and how. The boyz didn't. No practice, no ideation. Only song choice. We didn't see them practicing the choreo, we didn't see how they even got the idea for this stage. Their behind the scenes footage sadly has NOTHING to do with their performance. I really wish we could see them practicing and coming up with ideas.

Another big problem I see with this, is that they literally don't explain where their ideas come from. Now for people who know Game of Thrones (GoT hereafter), it probably appears rather obvious that the previous and also this stage was inspired by GoT, right? The white walkers? Ice and fire? The throne? The freaking red wedding??? I can't be the only one who sees a connection between their stages and GoT. ATEEZ said they were inspired by Pirates of the Carribbean. SF9 said they were inspired by film noir and showed how they worked with an actor on their storyline. iKON explained how they associate inception with dreams and put together their ideas. But TBZ didn't freaking talk about any of this. Either it was never recorded, or it never was aired. In any way, it's extremely suspicious in my eyes. Moreover it's just pretty shit to not say where your idea comes from. Especially not when you even name your stage after the iconic red wedding... Now IF they were NOT inspired by GoT, then it would be some... extremely huge coincidences... especially the stage title is just a bit too much tbh. But more to that stage later.

Edit: It came to my knowledge that according to deobis, Cre.Ker will post the content after Kingdom on tbz social media. Whoever took that decision needs to be fired tbh. If the content will be released, I'll link to it and add some few words to it.

Act 2: The good, the bad, and ... All hail king Juyeon?

Let's talk about the performances now.

SF9: What I dislike is the fact that as I stated in my previous Kingdom post, they are forced to do such dramatic musical/movie stages to even be recognized as part of the show. Moreover, I found it weird and unfitting that they held guns during the group dance parts, to me it seemed a bit off. Also, at times, their energy level seemed a bit low.

What I liked is that even tho it was a MASSIVE set, the performance still was extremely easy to understand and follow. They all looked insanely good tho, SF9 simply is mature and manly. I liked the concept, it was fresh because it for once had no fantasy vibe but actual criminal mafia energy. My favourite parts were Jaeyoon's fighting scenes because they were very well choreographed. Altogether, I really enjoyed it and also found it interesting how they referred to the Boyz crown scenes on RTK.

The Boyz: In my eyes, this is already the second GoT inspired concept they did. Not a fan of this. Moreover, I'm a bit pissed that it looks as if they are selling all that as their own ideas. As I said before, I believe this is GoT inspired, the name at least definitely was - but it's never said that the inspiration comes from there, because we literally have no information about where their ideas come from and if it's even their own ideas. To me it has the bitter aftertaste of wanting to hide sth the viewers aren't supposed to see. But this is not tbz fault but the fault of whoever writes/directs/edits their footage.

With the title of the stage given, I actually thought I'd see a wedding. But what I've seen was a woman in a bird cage. And then many more women. I failed to see what this all had to do with a wedding, and I moreover failed to see the connection to "THE" red wedding. And I failed to understand the plot once again, and because they didn't explain it beforehand, I'll never understand it.

What I liked is that the performance was way less dramatic than it was ever before. It didn't seem like a stunt show anymore, it didn't seem overdramatic anymore. It was easier to focus on the performance. Sadly, I noticed that this "downgraded" (aka slow-paced and less dramatic) stage was unfortunately underwhelming in comparison with what they did before - which was sth I predicted from beginning on. At some point you can't go bigger anymore, and if you tone it down it'll automatically seem underwhelming.

Edit: It's sad that they have this pressure to outperform themselves because they've won RTK. But honestly, it was clear that the winner would have this pressure on them. I don't see why I would pity them for this, after all, each of the groups feel pressured anyways and I rather feel sorry for ALL groups together because this whole ranking/competition thing is just unnecessarily stressful. But once again, I don't understand why you all blame MNET for this. Don't forget that the companies have contracts with MNET and knew that shit would go down. If you blame any bigger instances, then please also the companies who put their idols on the show. It's not like they got forced to make their groups participate.

My biggest criticism this time however is the fact that they give the most screentime to Juyeon (and Sunwoo because of the rap parts), and the rest of the members barely appear, or basically aren't shown at all. I already felt before that there was a strong focus on Juyeon, but now it's srly showing very clearly. I really like Juyeon, but I don't find it fair. I think that doesn't do justice to the other members, which deserve screentime as well. In conclusion, tbz on kingdom is an extreme mess in my eyes, with lots of communication- and management flaws.

iKON: I belong to the group of people who heavily prefers THANXX over inception, so I was a bit sceptical about the song choice. They really made a YG version out of this tho, I was pretty impressed. The stage concept was pretty nice, iKON surely knows how to use light. Now the stage seemed very inspired by Inception (the movie) which makes a lot of sense - but wasn't communicated either. Just mentioning this because I critisized tbz earlier, so I think the same applies here to some degree. I didn't recognize the song anymore tho but I found it pretty refreshing. In my eyes they did the best so far in making another group's song their own. This could have been an iKON song for sure. As always, a fun stage.

My personal ranking will follow after the other stages.

Act 3: About cheating and faking.

The Voting looks as follows:

Views: 1. SKZ 2. iKON 3. ATEEZ 4. BTOB 5. TBZ 6. SF9

Online Voting: 1. SKZ 2. SF9 3. iKON 4. BTOB 5. ATEEZ 6. TBZ

Btw if anyone knows the overall voting, please comment or send a message, because I somehow missed it?

I said it before, and I say it again, this entire voting is rigged and I totally don't care about it anymore at this point because it's absolutely not trustable. Experts didn't know about the budget differences, who even are the experts, why did SF9 get zero on-site votes, and then ofc the fans who created 50 accounts to vote...this voting is a joke. What I can totally not understand is how ATEEZ and TBZ can rank last for online voting. Sth seems off here to me, especially the fact that SF9 ranks last in views but ranks 2nd in votes? I'm sorry to say this but I think that's the result of the ZZZ fanwar. My assumption is that there must be a big mass of people who purposely voted NOT for TBZ & ATEEZ, and my guess is - no offence - that those were stays. In accordance with the fanwar, they didn't give their 2 other votes to the other ZZZ groups but to whatever other group. Or in general the ZZZ fandoms purposely not voting for each other. That would explain extremely well why SF9 could suddenly rank 2nd. I'm tired of this voting, of fanwars and all this drama and I decided to not care about the official voting anymore.

If you got to this point, I wanna let you know that I feel very blessed that you made it through this long post hahaha. Thanks! And for the next week, I expect BIG THINGS. I'm the most excited for BTOB. Them covering back door is the most absurd thing I've imagined for a long time hahahaha. But Eunkwang with tattoos really is a good sight, isn't it ;)?

[ifuckinglovestvincent]

THE FORTY-FIVE: ST. VINCENT

Sleazy, gritty, grimy – these are the words used to describe the latest iteration of St. Vincent, Annie Clark’s alter ego. As she teases the release of her upcoming new album, ‘Daddy’s Home’, Eve Barlow finds out who’s wearing the trousers now.

Photos: Zackery Michael

Yellow may be the colour of gold, the hue of a perfect blonde or the shade of the sun, but when it’s too garish, yellow denotes the stain of sickness and the luridness of sleaze. On ‘Pay Your Way In Pain’ – the first single from St. Vincent’s forthcoming sixth album ‘Daddy’s Home’ – Annie Clark basks in the palette of cheap 1970s yellows; a dirty, salacious yellow that even the most prudish of individuals find difficult to avert their gaze from. It’s a yellow that recalls the smell of cigarettes on fingers, the tape across tomorrow’s crime scene or the dull ache of bad penetration.

The video for the single, which dropped last Thursday, features Clark in a blonde wig and suit, channeling a John Cassavetes anti-heroine (think Gena Rowlands in Gloria) and ‘Fame’-era Bowie. She twists in front of too-bright disco lights. She roughs up her voice. She sings about the price we pay for searching for acceptance while being outcast from society. “So I went to the park just to watch the little children/ The mothers saw my heels and they said I wasn’t welcome,” she coos, and you immediately recognise the scene of a free woman threatening the post-nuclear families aspiring to innocence. Clark is here to pervert them.

She laughs. “That’s how I feel!” From her studio in Los Angeles, she begins quoting lyrics from Jimi Hendrix’s ‘Red House’. “It’s a blues song for 2021.” LA is a city Clark reluctantly only half calls home, and one that is opposed to her vastly preferred New York. “I don’t feel any romantic attachment to Los Angeles,” she says of the place she coined the song ‘Los Ageless’ about on 2017’s ‘Masseduction’ (“The Los Ageless hang out by the bar/ Burn the pages of unwritten memoirs”).“The best that could be said of LA is, ‘Yeah it’s nice.’ And it is! LA is easy and pleasant. But if you were a person the last thing you’d want someone to say about you is: ‘She’s nice!’”

On ‘Daddy’s Home’, Clark writes about a past derelict New York; a place Los Angeles would suffocate in. “The idea of New York, the art that came out of it, and my living there,” she says. “I’ve not given up my card. I don’t feel in any way ready to renounce my New York citizenship. I bought an apartment so I didn’t have to.” Her down-and-out New York is one a true masochist would love, and it’s sleazy in excess. Sleaze is usually the thing men flaunt at a woman’s expense. In 2021, the proverbial Daddy in the title is Clark. But there’s also a literal Daddy. He came home in the winter of 2019.

On the title track, Clark sings about “inmate 502”: her father. He was sentenced to 12 years in prison for his involvement in a $43m stock fraud scheme. He went away in May 2010. Clark reacted by writing her third breakthrough album ‘Strange Mercy’ in 2011; inspired not just by her father’s imprisonment but the effects it had on her life.“I mean it was rough stuff,” she says. “It was a fuck show. Absolutely terrible. Gut-wrenching. Like so many times in life, music saved me from all kinds of personal peril. I was angry. I was devastated. There’s a sort of dullness to incarceration where you don’t have any control. It’s like a thud at the basement of your being. So I wrote all about it,” she says.

Back then, she was aloof about meaning. In an interview we did that year, she called from a hotel rooftop in Phoenix and was fried from analytical questions. She excused her lack of desire to talk about ‘Strange Mercy’ as a means of protecting fans who could interpret it at will. Really she was protecting an audience closer to home. It’s clear now that the title track is about her father’s imprisonment (“Our father in exile/ For God only knows how many years”). Clark’s parents divorced when she was a child, and they have eight children in their mixed family, some of whom were very young when ‘Strange Mercy’ came out. She explains this discretion now as her method of sheltering them.

“I am protective of my family,” she says. “It didn’t feel safe to me. I disliked the fact that it was taken as malicious obfuscations. No.” Clark wanted to deal with the family drama in art but not in press. She managed to remain tight-lipped until she became the subject of a different intrusion. As St. Vincent’s star continued to rocket, Clark found herself in a relationship with British model Cara Delevingne from 2014 to 2016, and attracted celebrity tabloid attention. Details of her family’s past were exposed. The Daily Mail came knocking on her sister’s door in Texas, where Clark is from.

“Luckily I’m super tight with my family and the Daily Mail didn’t find anybody who was gonna sell me out,” she says. “They were looking for it. Clark girls are a fucking impenetrable force. We will cut a bitch.”

Four years later, Clark gets to own the narrative herself in the medium that’s most apt: music. “The story has evolved. I’ve evolved. People have grown up. I would rather be the one to tell my story,” she says, ruminating on the misfortune that this was robbed from her: a story that writes itself. “My father’s release from prison is a great starting point, right?” Between tours and whenever she could manage, Clark would go and visit him in prison and would be signing autographs in the visitation room for the inmates, who all followed her success with every album release, press clipping and late night TV spot. She joked to her sisters that she’d become the belle of the ball there. “I don’t have to make that up,” she says.

There’s an ease to Clark’s interview manner that hasn’t existed before. She seems ready not just to discuss her father’s story, but to own certain elements of herself. “Hell where can you run when the outlaw’s inside you,” she sings on the title track, alluding to her common traits with her father. “I’ve always had a relationship with my dad and a good one. We’re very similar,” she says. “The movies we like, the books, he liked fashion. He’s really funny, he’s a good time.” Her father’s release gave Clark and her brothers and sisters permission to joke. “The title, ‘Daddy’s Home’ makes me laugh. It sounds fucking pervy as hell. But it’s about a real father ten years later. I’m Daddy now!”

The question of who’s fathering who is a serious one, but it’s also not serious. Clark wears the idea of Daddy as a costume. She likes to play. She joins today’s Zoom in a pair of sunglasses wider than her face and a silk scarf framing her head. The sunglasses come off, and the scarf is a tool for distraction. She ties it above her forehead, attempts a neckerchief, eventually tosses it aside. Clark can only be earnest for so long before she seeks some mischief. She doesn’t like to stay in reality for extensive periods. “I like to create a world and then I get to live in it and be somebody new every two or three years,” she says. “Who wants to be themselves all the time?”

‘Daddy’s Home‘ began in New York at Electric Lady studios before COVID hit and was finished in her studio in LA. She worked on it with “my friend Jack” [Jack Antonoff, producer for Lana Del Rey, Lorde, Taylor Swift]. Antonoff and Clark worked on ‘Masseduction’ and found a winning formula, pushing Clark’s guitar-orientated electronic universe to its poppiest maximum, without compromising her idiosyncrasies. “We’re simpatico. He’s a dream,” she says. “He played the hell outta instruments on this record. He’s crushing it on drums, crushing it on Wurlitzer.” The pair let loose. They began with ‘The Holiday Party’, one of the warmest tracks Clark’s ever written. It’s as inviting as a winter fireplace, stoked by soulful horns, acoustic guitar and backing singers. “Every time they sang something I’d say, ‘Yeah but can you do it sleazier? Make your voice sound like you’ve been up for three days.” Clark speaks of an unspoken understanding with Antonoff as regards the vibe: “Familiar sounds. The opposite of my hands coming out of the speaker to choke you till you like it. This is not submission. Just inviting. I can tell a story in a different way.”

The entire record is familiar, giving the listener the satisfaction that they’ve heard the songs before but can’t quite place them. It’s a satisfying accompaniment to a pandemic that encouraged nostalgic listening. Clark was nostalgic too. She reverted to records she enjoyed with her father: Stevie Wonder’s catalogue from the 1970s (‘Songs In The Key Of Life’, ‘Innervisions’, ‘Talking Book’) and Steely Dan. “Not to be the dude at the record store but it’s specifically post-flower child idealism of the ’60s,” she explains. “It’s when it flipped into nihilism, which I much prefer. Pre disco, pre punk. That music is in me in a deep way. It’s in my ears.”

On ‘The Melting Of The Sun’ she has a delicious time creating a psychedelic Pink Floyd odyssey while exploring the path tread by her heroes Marilyn Monroe, Joni Mitchell, Joan Didion and Nina Simone. It’s a series of beautiful vignettes of brilliant women who were met with a hostile environment. Clark considers what they did to overcome that. “I’m thanking all these women for making it easier for me to do it. I hope I didn’t totally let them down.” Clark is often the only woman sharing a stage with rock luminaries such as Dave Grohl, Damon Albarn and David Byrne, and has appeared to have shattered a male-centric glass ceiling. She’s unsure she’s doing enough to redress the imbalance. “There are little things I can do and control,” she says of hiring women on her team. “God! Now I feel like I should do more. What should I do? It’s a big question. You know what I have seen a lot more from when I started to now? Girls playing guitar.”

If one woman reinvented the guitar in the past decade, it’s Clark. Behind her is a rack of them. The pandemic has taken her out of the wild in which she’s accustomed to tantalising audiences at night with her displays of riffing and heel-balancing. Instead, she’s chained to her desk. Her obsession with heels in the lyrics of ‘Daddy’s Home’ she reckons may be a reflection of her nights performing ‘Masseduction’ in thigh highs. “I made sure that nothing I wore was comfortable,” she recalls. “Everything was about stricture and structure and latex. I had to train all the time to make sure I could handle it.” Is she taking the heels off when live shows return? “Absofuckinglutely not.”

Clark is interested in the new generation. She’s recently tweeted about Arlo Parks and has become a big fan of Russian singer-songwriter Kate NV. “I’m obsessed with Russia,” she says. In a recent LA Times profile, she professed to a pandemic intellectual fixation on Stalin. “Yeah! I mean right now my computer is propped up on stuff. You are sitting on The Gulag Archipelago, The Best Short Stories Of Dostoyevsky andThe Plays Of Chekhov. I’m kinda in it.” The pop world interests Clark, too. She was credited with a co-write on Swift’s 2019 album ‘Lover’. At last year’s Grammys she performed a duet with Dua Lipa. It was one of the queerest performances the Grammys has ever aired. Clark interrupts.

“What about it seemed queer?!”

You know… The lip bite, for one!

“Wait. Did she bite her lip?”

No, you bit your lip.

“I did?!”

Everyone was talking about it. Come on, Annie.

“Serious? I…”

You both waltzed around each other with matching hairdos, making eyes…

“I have no memory of it.”

Frustrating as it may be in a world of too much information, Clark’s lack of willingness to overanalyse every creative decision she makes or participates in is something to treasure. “I want to be a writer who can write great songs,” she says. “I’m so glad I can play guitar and fuck around in the studio to my heart’s desire but it’s about what you can say. What’s a great song? What lyric is gonna rip your guts open. Just make great shit! That’s where I was with this record. That’s all I wanna do with my life.”

More than a decade into St. Vincent, Clark doesn’t reflect. She looks strictly forward. “I’m like a horse with blinders,” she says. She did make an exception to take stock lately when the phone rang. “I saw a +44 and that gets me excited,” she says. “Who could this be?” Well, who was it? “Paul McCartney,” she says, in disbelief. “Anything I’ve done, any mistake I’ve made, somehow it’s forgiven, assuaged. I did something right in my life if a fucking Beatle called me.”

Now there’s a get out of jail free card if ever she needed one.

Daddy’s Home by St. Vincent is out May 14, 2021.

[cali-holland]

First Best- Harry Holland One Shot

Pairing: Harry Holland X Reader

Requested by anon: I absolutely adore your writing! Please do something with harry holland? Maybe where he thinks the reader likes Tom or Harrison but he actually finds out she’s in love with him? Thank you so much in advance

Prompt: When you’re in desperate need of a director and an actor for your latest music video, you happen to meet the Holland brothers.

Word Count: 1500

Music video inspiration: Beautiful Trauma by P!nk

A/N: heyyy my first real harry fic!

Masterlist   Harry Holland Masterlist

*Not my gif*

~~~

“Are you alright?” A concerned voice pulled you from your anxious pacing, and you turned to the source of it. The kind smile from the stranger did nothing to calm your nerves.

“Not really.” You let out a small sigh, continuing to fidget with the rings on your fingers. As if awards shows weren’t stressful enough for you, you just got the most stress-inducing call from your manager. The Teen Choice Awards were in full swing, but you couldn’t enjoy it as you stepped out into a side room, away from all the cameras, “Not to be rude, but unless you know of a director and an actor or dancer that both happen to be free next weekend, then you can’t help me.”

“Does an aspiring director count? Because I’ve done a few shorts, and then you might just be in luck.” He laughed lightly and your face lit up.

“Are you serious right now?” You asked, a small smile beginning to form on your face.

“Yeah,” He nodded, holding out a hand to you, “I’m Harry.”

“Y/N.” You replied, shaking his hand, and he sheepishly smiled.

“I knew that already.” Harry laughed. “I’m a fan of your music.”

“Thank you.” You smiled, “You look really familiar, do I know you from somewhere?”

You saw almost a flash of nervous disappointment flash over his features before he shook his head, “No, I don’t think we’ve met before.”

“So, what are you doing here, aspiring director?” You asked.

“My brother’s an actor. He’s nominated for an award, but I don’t feel comfortable in there. I like being behind a camera a lot more.” He admitted and you nodded, understandingly.

“The cameras are the worst. I can tell there’s already going to be headlines about me missing a performance tomorrow.” You joked. “My manager called me, and the director and the lead actor dropped out of filming my music video next weekend. If we don’t film it next weekend, it pushes back the whole album schedule. So, if you are available next weekend and you know an actor, like your brother, that’d be willing to do it, you’d be an actual life-saver.”

“Are you kidding? I’d love to direct one of your music videos. That’d be an incredible opportunity.” Harry smiled at you in disbelief.

“Here, I’ll get you in touch with my manager and she can get everything worked out.” You pulled out your phone as he did the same. Exchanging numbers quickly, you heard the announcement of the next award.

“I’ve got to get back in there, but I’ll see you next week, hopefully.” You said, smiling in relief at Harry one last time before you ducked back into the award center.

“What just happened?” Harry mumbled to himself, shaking his head. Did he just talk to his favorite singer and offer to direct her music video? Realizing he still needed to uphold the actor end of the deal, he rushed back inside to his seat by Tom.

~~~

“Oh thank God, you made it!” You exclaimed, hugging Harry tightly as he arrived to set the next weekend, completely ignoring the other guy he walked in with. Harry tensed at first, not expecting you to be so physically welcoming, but he quickly relaxed into your touch.

“Did you think I wasn’t going to show?” He laughed lightly with a smile.

“No, it just means a lot that you’re here.” You stated sincerely. You turned to the stranger beside him, and you froze, recognizing him almost immediately. “Oh my god, you’re Tom Holland?”

“Yeah, Harry said you needed an actor and a dancer. I may be a little rusty, but still.” Tom smiled at you. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“It’s great to meet you, too.” You replied. You completely missed how Harry’s own smile faltered a little as your gaze lingered on his brother; he felt the familiar disappointment of being second best overcome him again.

“Well, we should get to wardrobe. Harry, feel free to set up, do whatever it is you need to do as director. You get free reigns.” You said with a laugh, before leaving with Tom back to the wardrobe department. 

After setting up the cameras, Harry waited for you and Tom to return to the set, going through some of the last minute notes you had given him. ‘Begins with waking up in separate beds’, you had written before continuing on to write out concepts ‘ironing- burning shirts, vacuuming, burnt pies, doing dishes, taking pills’. Further into the note, it added on ‘dressed in drag, dancing, bar scene, drinking a bathtub’. All of your notes were more of just concepts, and they weren’t exactly much for him to go on, but he could make it work, he had to make it work. Harry let out a nervous sigh; he’d never done a music video like this before, nothing this high profile. Your whole album rested on you having this video, and he wasn’t about to let you, his longtime celebrity crush, down.

“How do I look?” Tom asked, walking up to him, sporting cheesy 1960’s esque pink and grey pajamas. 

“Stupid.” Harry laughed, and his older brother shook his head.

“Hey, you better remember that I’m doing this for you and your little crush on Y/N.”

“It’s not a crush.” He insisted.

“It definitely is. You gonna ask her out?” Tom teasingly nudged his younger brother.

“Don’t think so.” He shrugged, hoping Tom would just drop the topic, not wanting you or anyone from your team to overhear.

“Why not? You’re doing all this for her, she’ll probably say yes to a date.”

“I don’t know.” Harry sighed, “Y/N wouldn’t date me, not when you’re an option.”

“For me to even be an option, I’d have to be into her and I’m not.” Tom said. He dropped his voice lower as he saw you emerge from the hair department in a puffy pink pajama set, “Ask her out, there’s no harm in it.”

“Just drop it.” He pleaded, and you came over to them.

“Hey, ready to start shooting?” You asked with a smile, looking between the two Hollands, completely oblivious to the conversation they’d just been having.

With Tom acting across from you and Harry directing the video, the shoot went by easily. Normally, you disliked shooting music videos because of the familiar awkwardness between you and the unknown actor beside you, as well as the director usually not at all understanding the artistic aspects of the song that you wanted to incorporate in the video; you struggled with directors that didn’t see your artistic vision of the music. And yet, Harry was perfect. It’s like he could read your mind; he knew exactly what to do without you even really having to direct him much. You were disappointed that the shoot was only three short days, you wanted more time with Harry.

“That was incredible. You were perfect.” Harry smiled at you, looking at the footage on the screen.

“Thanks, it wouldn’t be anything without you, though.” You replied, lightly nudging him his arm with yours. “For an aspiring director, you’re the best director I’ve ever worked with.”

“Well, you’re by far the best subject I’ve filmed.” He said, his ears turning red from your compliment.

“Do you wanna go out for drinks or something tonight?” You asked, a nervous smile on your lips. You felt incredibly vulnerable, and that was even including all the times you’d been on stage in front of millions of fans.

“Should I invite Tom?” Harry asked, his voice tense. Your smile faltered for a moment.

“I thought it could just be us?” You offered, and his eyes went wide like a deer caught in headlights.

“Us? Like- like a-” He stuttered out, flustered.

“A date, yes.” You cut him off with a nod and he smiled.

“Oh, yes, of course, yes.” Harry repeated, nodding his head quickly, “I just thought that maybe you,” He trailed off a little, making you laugh.

“What? That I liked Tom? No, silly, it’s you.” You laughed. Before he could reply, you got an urgent from your manager and you let out a small groan as you read it. Turning back to him, you sighed, “First it was no album without the lead single music video, and now it’s no album without the album photoshoot. This album’s a trainwreck already. You wouldn’t happen to be an aspiring photographer too, would you?”

“Is that all I am to you, a director and photographer?” He joked, faking offense at your offer.

“I’d say aspiring boyfriend, too.” You teased.

It didn’t take long for you and Harry to start officially dating after that, and it didn’t take long for him to become the unofficial official director for the majority of your music videos.

[harrysdimples]

folklore track by track review

the 1: love me a piano intro. oh this guitar?? swearing in the first 5 seconds? I like these lyrics. never bleed????????? hmm.................it would’ve been you.............I..............it would’ve been fun if you were the one.........bruv..........dare I say it...............am I just clowning.....or like.......................is she....ya know.......talking about........you know.......h****?? oh these vocals ! bruv I don’t care this is about harry because I say so afhdjssa. I really love this production and her vocals, it already sounds so much more mature than lover and it’s only the opener, feels like a more-mature version of a deep cut on red. excellent start!

cardigan: oh this percussion?? the piano?? her voice sounds fab. is this about the met? black lipstick? or bleachella? her VOCALS bruv sound 10x better than anything on lover?? I love these lyrics omg. THIS IS SO GOOD. HEARTBEAT ON THE HIGH LINE ONCE IN TWENTY LIFETIMES. this so good?? try to change the ending peter losing wendy?? leaving like a father running like water????? I love this so much omg. the atmospheric vocal...the percussion....the lyrics.....the piano......LAV IT. I can’t get over how already this is more lyrically dense than lover and reputation but I ain’t complaining!! I’m both surprised and not surprised that they went with this for the single from this era but I really like it, it feels like it would fit right at home in the NFR tracklist.

the last great american dynasty: love these strings?? omg the beat? is this political? hmm I like the lyrics of the verses but i’m not 100% feeling the lyrics/structure of the chorus, feels a little like she’s trying to fit too many words into the line, but I love the storytelling aspect of it and it’ll probably grow on me. it’s like a grown-up version of starlight or the lucky one. Is this supposed to be like an alternate version of what taylor’s life could’ve been like? or am I just completely misinterpreting that lmao?

exile ft. bon iver: like this piano intro. love bon iver. oh the birds in the background?? ooft these lyrics....brutal. is this about calvin? is that a kazoo? afjdshjsa I promise i’m not trying to be like this but like......this is very......hm. I really love his voice. the bridge is really pretty with both their voices. I can see myself staring dramatically outside the window listening to this when we’re allowed to properly go back outside lmao. very nice and pretty, it’ll probably hit harder later on than my first listen but I like it. 

my tears ricochet: this a-cappella intro? oh this is sad :( what a ghostly scene....................................I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace :( oh this buildup?? I still talk to you........omg these atmospheric vocals I. LOVE. I need to read the lyrics on my next few listens to this but I really like it so far.

mirrorball: this feels like the outro in a coming of age 80s movie. love the soft guitars. oh these vocals! I know she didn’t mean to but when she signs tallest it sounds like she’s saying toilet to me lmao. jack’s atmospheric vocals!!! yes!!! the bridge is really beautiful. all I do is try, try, try. I’m just trying to get you to look at me :( I do have to say, while I love how lyrically dense this album is and reflective it is in comparison to her last few albums, the instrumentation doesn’t change a whole lot throughout these songs on first listen, it’s more that atmospheric vocals/sounds are built on top of it, which is fine, but I think they’ll benefit a lot from me listening to them outside the context of the album. love the meaning behind this though and I think it’s really beautiful.

seven: (this is when I stopped doing live reactions and instead went for post track reactions) Is it weird to say that this did better at the “love letter to love” concept meant for lover than lover did? this song feels more like for her legacy/future family and how she’s grown than as an active, present moment which is nice. I will say while I did love NFR when it came out, it also hit a wall with me eventually where it needed some breathing space or something to break up the sections of the album (which harry does actually quite well) and I feel like we’re hitting that point (if we haven’t already). I’m always slightly apprehensive about long albums like this which is why I said this will benefit from listening outside the context of the album. 

august: I’m really curious as to who this is about lmao. but this was excellent in the progression of the track and the buildup/atmosphere and dynamics of the track, this was what I was wanting a bit more with songs like exile and it did great at building a different sonic landscape which is what was needed in the album imo. one of my favourite tracks so far.

this is me trying: this is very...wistful and reflective. a hybrid of the archer and I wish you would to me. “I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere, Fell behind all my classmates and I ended up here” is a LYRIC bruv. feels reminiscent of what she said in the miss americana documentary about how you’re stunted in your growth when you become famous at a young age and you fall behind the emotional development of most people around you, which is really interesting. “Pouring out my heart to a stranger, But I didn't pour the whiskey” is that supposed to be like a metaphor for stopping herself from saying too much all the time because she knows it could get out/be perceived in a certain way? either way, these are some great lyrics. “you're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town” hmmm.....

illicit affairs: I LOVE THIS. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS. I have nothing else to add. this is fantastic. favourite track so far. amazing. 10/10.

invisible string: this song is really sweet lol I wish I was in love with someone to relate more to this. very referential to her work as a whole and I liked the more stripped down production.

man this is a long album lol

mad woman: FUCK YOU FOREVER. scream. this is very lana-fied lmao. I wish she did a little more with the electric guitar in the back though, imagine this more being soft-rock? so this is definitely about scott and scooter right? I do like this but it does feel very sonically similar to some of the tracks we’ve heard so far and I wish she had switched it up a little to fit the excellent lyricism of this song, more guitar would’ve really elevated the song imo. 

epiphany: lol I got a bit emotional listening to this, I can already tell i’m going to listen to this at night and cry lmao. I have a massive fear of death/the unknown and this song sort of touched on that concept to me and I really liked the production. this feels like it should be in a movie soundtrack or in like, grey’s anatomy. the heartbeat-like sound in the outro? beautiful. this is the sort of concepts I’ve been wanting from taylor for a while now and the execution of this was really good imo. 

betty: ms swift it’s okay to be gay. the elaborate-ness of putting yourself in the position of a man just to say you liked a girl. how are the kaylors/gaylors holding out lmao this is a nice story (like an upgraded version of ybwm) but I can’t get over how effectively no-homo this is lmao. the key change? love story wishes. oh the wistfullness to be young......and in looooOOOOoooOOove.

peace: love the guitar in the intro. this gives me another more grown up perspective of a song on melodrama? I love her vocals in this. I feel like i’ve said this about 40 times already but the atmospheric sounds....chef’s kiss. 

hoax: the closer. the LYRICISM bitch. “your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in” shut up :( the bridge is gorgeous. I’m not sure how I feel about it as the closer though, it ties up the themes of the album pretty well but I almost feel peace would’ve been a better closer? still really gorgeous though.

okay. overall thoughts. top 3 albums of taylor’s discography for me along with 1989 and red. It did feel long towards the end though and I still think her problem is editing and streamlining her projects which is why I think 1989 (as her best album for that) and red (while being longer than this has enough songs to break up the album so it’s not monotonous for the listener) rank above this for me at the moment, but that could change. If I were her, I would’ve taken out invisible string and possibly betty and seven to have as deluxe tracks. her lyricism is better on this album than both reputation and lover combined, she really did that in like 4 months. I will need more time with it as I always do with taylor’s projects but it was the album she needed in my opinion. I think part of the reason I disliked lover and to a lesser extent, reputation, was because they didn’t come across as if she needed to write them like her other projects, but more projects she felt she should to write because that was where the narrative of her public image was forcing her to go, this feels like a return to form, even if I would tweak a few things. the visuals for this album have all been great (her best album cover after 1989 imo) and I think it benefitted a lot from going into it with next to no expectations, without a single or anything and I hope she continues to just do whatever, rather than painstakingly plan marketing surrounding an album and just allow her talent to speak for itself. really good. favourite tracks are probably: illicit affairs, the 1, cardigan, epiphany and mirrorball. least favourite are probably: invisible string, seven and maybe betty too. i’d rate it about 8/10 at the moment. also: ****** never dies.

[nancywheelxr]

“Why is there glitter everywhere” with Esme and her children and husband

Okay, so, this fic has been brought to you by that one scene in Parks and Rec that I’m sure y’all will recognize

*

It’s not often that Esme goes into town, she usually prefers to stay in, working quietly in her study, away from temptation, but it’s not every day that her daughter turns, well, 104, and while Rosalie doesn’t really like to celebrate her birthday, she’s not above allowing Esme to buy her some nice clothes.

To say Rosalie dislikes birthdays would be an understatement, actually, considering the absolute ban on celebrations she demanded not too long after being turned, and honestly, Esme can understand that. It’s an uncomfortable reminder of their unnaturally long life and if something as simple as not making a fuss can ease the tension on Rose’s shoulders, she’ll do her best to abide.

She still insists on paying for that dress, though.

Surprisingly, this year is different.

This year, they can hear giggling and shushing as Esme parks in their driveway. Rosalie’s eyebrows go up in inquiry. “I wouldn’t know,” she says, glancing at Bella’s truck parked haphazardly nearby. Perhaps, this shouldn’t be such a surprise, after all. 

Rosalie frowns and a pang of concern needles Esme in the ribs. The girl wouldn’t know about Rose’s dislike of birthday celebrations, would she? Still, the others should have explained, they wouldn’t dare face Rosalie’s wrath.

Would they?

With a worried huff, she realizes that some of them would, actually. 

But still. Carlisle is with them and he wouldn’t let things spiral out of control.

Just in case, Esme makes sure to step through the door first, ready to close it right back if needed. Not that anything could have prepared her for the scene that greets her.

“Why is there glitter everywhere,” she only half asks, too blindsided by all the glittery mess in her living room. Honestly, Edward is purple. 

In fact, she had been so surprised, she had even missed Rosalie pausing in the doorway beside her until she breathes a quiet, what.

Which is fair, Esme thinks faintly, considering the six glitter-covered people looking at them and oh dear, that’s going to be a struggle to get out of the carpet. She meets her husband’s eyes across the room, surprised to find him in the middle of shenanigans, but finds herself relaxing at the steady calm there. If Carlisle thinks this will turn out alright, then she’s willing to give it a chance.

In any case, it would have been too late to do anything about it as Bella is scrambling up to her feet, brushing off crumbles and glitter from her clothes and completely missing the sparkly streaky on her cheek and the colorful bits of paper tangled in her hair. She steps forward, sheepishly looking at Rosalie, and Esme can hear the nervous beat of her heart. “Rose, hey,” she clears her throat, looking back pointedly, and Edward hurries to hold something up, “okay, before you say anything, I know you don’t want us to make a big deal or anything, but I– we have been meaning to do this anyway, so really, you’ll just be giving us an excuse here, so please don’t be mad.”

A scrapbook, Esme realizes, that’s what Edward had been showing, the others crowding behind him with nervous smiles.

To everyone’s surprise, Rosalie doesn’t immediately shut down or even glares, she just blinks at Bella, allowing herself to be guided to the sofa, to the center of the chaos, and opens the album. “Where did you get this?” Esme hears her asking, fingers tracing the pictures and the glittery lettering around, and finally, she unglues herself from the doorway, lets Carlisle greet her with a kiss.

“Trade secret,” Bella’s replying with a teasing smirk. Most of the pictures are polaroids, with a few older ones taken over the decades that must have been provided by Carlisle, but there’s a common theme– in all of them, they’re unfailingly happy.

Maybe that’s why there are more photos from the past year than anything; Esme hasn’t seen so many smiles in all the decades she’s known her family.

“And, well,” Bella goes on, “we might have gotten a bit sidetracked.”

“You can’t rush art,” Alice adds, eyes twinkling with far too much mischief, “and I stand by it.”

There’s a story there, Esme realizes and immediately decides she doesn’t want to know. 

“I don’t think that’s how it goes,” Edward frowns, “isn’t it perfection the saying’s referring to?”

“Nerd,” she scrunches her nose at him, and makes a sweeping motion in Emmet’s direction, and– oh dear.

Is that–

“Okay,” Bella takes the box from a grinning Emmet and holds it for Rosalie to inspect, picking up one of the miniatures that has noodle hair and seems to have been dipped in glitter. “We found a bag of marshmallow in my truck– so look! We made a marshmallow house with marshmallow us, and this is you. See, she has her arms crossed because she’s mad at all the other marshmallow people.”

It’s all so ridiculous, childish even, but it’s been so long since Esme’s seen her children be the teenagers they’re supposed to be– she understands now why Carlisle would go along with it.

Especially when she looks at Rosalie and finds her taking all this in not with the angry snarl she had worn when tearing down the banner they made her that terrible first year, but with soft, lost eyes.

Rosalie glances at her family, at the terribly decorated scrapbook and the sparkly marshmallow vampires, and Esme knows she’s seeing them for what they are– a reminder of all the happy times she’s had over the decades and how known, how loved she is by these people.

“It’s not a big deal,” Bella insists, wavering under Rose’s silence, “it’s not even wrapped, see, so it can’t be a birthday gift and–

“Thank you,” Rosalie says quietly, voice strained, and Esme gets the impression that if she could, she’d be crying right now.

Instead, she smiles shakily and continues, “tell me about it?”

And that’s all it takes for everyone to settle down, relax, and the children happily begin recounting the tales of that afternoon, talking over each other and fighting over insignificant details.

Silently, she takes her husband’s hand and they slip away unnoticed.

With a mournful glance at the carpet, Carlisle gives her an apologetic smile. “It couldn’t be helped,” he says, “you know how they are.”

“It was for a good cause,” she nods, lips twitching into an answering grin. Anything that makes any of their children that touched, that happy, it’s well worth some easily replaceable decoration.

And with the excited chatter coming from the living room, Esme decides there’s something to be said about breaking patterns and finding happiness in unlikely places.

[putschki1969]

Aki no Sakura EP ~ My Review

Today is the release day of Wakana’s very first EP 『アキノサクラ/Aki no Sakura EP』. Since I am impatient and can’t wait for my copies to arrive I purchased the mini album on iTunes.

Everyone, please be sure to support Wakana by buying this release! Physical copies of this EP are available at a very affordable price on CDJapan and Amazon Japan. Those online stores ship overseas and they accept foreign payment methods so you shouldn’t have any issues. Wakana’s music is also available digitally. If you use iTunes just like me, please don’t hesitate to purchase the digital version of 『アキノサクラ/Aki no Sakura EP』. They are literally giving it away for nothing. I paid less than €3 for the whole mini album. There is no excuse not to get it! You can also stream it on Spotify!

Now let’s get to the review〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

1. eve

Why is this so short? I am aware it is meant to be an overture but still, I want this to be 10 minutes long. Such a gorgeous orchestral composition. This sounds like it belongs in some sort of epic fantasy/fairytale movie or maybe an old-school Disney film. I am glad Wakana doesn’t have any lyrics, lyrics may have been a bit overbearing with a track like this. The way she is just blending her vocals with the melody is very lovely. It’s so magical and beautiful, I am utterly smitten. Part of me wishes that Wakana would have sung this with her more operatic voice because then this would have been the most excellent piece of music EVER. I understand of course why she sang it with her more delicate and flimsy voice, she wants it to be in tune with the rest of the EP - and it definitely is - but it’s still a bit of a shame. Anyways, a grand start for sure.

2. Aki no Sakura (アキノサクラ; Cherry Blossoms of Autumn)

After watching the PV last night and seeing Wakana’s expressions while she sings the lyrics (which I adore btw), I immediately became more attracted to the song. It took a while to appreciate the melody but I think I finally can. I am not sure whether I like the verses or the chorus more. Towards the end of the song I kinda prefer the chorus. It’s not my favourite track of the EP but I think it still has potential to grow on me. As for the PV, I simply love, love, LOVE all the scenes with Wakana strolling in the park with her gorgeous cardigan and her blinding smile. Can you remember the times when we felt utterly blessed to get a glimpse of Wakana’s smile in one of Kalafina’s PVs?? [smiles were so freaking rare in those PVs! T_T] And now her radiant smile is everywhere, we are being spoiled!! Not a huge fan of the city section of the PV, mainly because the location doesn’t look very aesthetic (I am guessing it’s meant to look kinda unpolished and real/gritty but I can’t bring myself to like it - I prefer to look at pretty things in my PVs). Plus, the heavy use of the blurry effect makes me feel a little dizzy XD Anyways, Wakana looks beautiful and that is everything that counts for me. The dress is not something I would personally wear but it just SCREAMS Wakana to me so I can’t help but like it. I am so ecstatic that Wakana can FINALLY wear the things she wants and feels most comfortable in.

3. Koi wa Itsumo (恋はいつも; Love Is Always)

I was SHOOK when I first heard this song. Instant throwback to the 80s or 90s or whenever that sort of music was rocking the charts. I can’t believe I am saying this but it might actually be my favourite track of the EP. Up-beat and funky songs like this are usually not what I am into but when you listen to “Koi wa Itsumo” you immediately succumb to its beat. It’s such a catchy tune. You cannot help but go with the flow and fall in love. It’s a feel-good song and it motivates you to start dancing. Ahhhhhh, will have this on repeat for a long time I think. In my opinion, Wakana’s light/delicate and kinda Pop-ish singing style fits this sort of song best. I imagine this must be super hard to perform live. Curious how Wakana will handle it.

4.Orange (オレンジ)

When it comes to my favourite songs of the EP, I think it’s a tie between “Orange” and “Koi wa Itsumo”. I am so sursprised that I gravitate more towards the “up-beat/mid-tempo” songs in this mini album. Typically I am always a sucker for ballads. Maybe it’s due to her changed singing style which is more suitable for songs like this that I find myself liking them a bit more. I am just so used to hearing Wakana’s tragic voice when it comes to ballads so to have her use a less rich and rather frail voice is kinda off-putting. Anyways, “Orange” is great. I have loved it from the moment I heard the short radio version and nothing has changed about my opinion. Not entirely sure I am a fan of the harmonica. I was definitely taken aback when I initially heard it in the full version. For nostalgia’s sake I am willing to embrace it though. Surprisingly this is the ONLY song where Wakana wrote the lyrics. I thought she would have provided more lyrics but alas, she didn’t. I guess they were in such a rush to release this EP before her Winter Lives that Wakana didn’t really have any time to come up with a ton of lyrics. The best option was to choose songs that already had lyrics. Anyways, I can’t wait to get a good look at these lyrics, the fact that Wakana has written them, makes them so much more special to me.

5. Yuuyake (夕焼け; Sunset)

Since I am generally not a fan of the acoustic guitar I didn’t expect to like this but I actually do. I am glad they also added some strings. The melody is lovely, it reminds me of another song I like but I can’t put my finger on it. It’s an old pop-ballad I think...Anyways, I think I will fall completely in love with this once I hear it performed live at her concert. Just like “Ato Hitotsu” this is a song that really shines in live performances where Wakana can be expressive and convey emotions.

Overall thoughts

It’s a good release for sure. Wakana can be proud. It isn’t like anything you have ever heard from her or Kalafina for that matter. You will have to go into this with an open mind, I know we all have certain ideas and expectations when it comes to Wakana but when we leave those behind it’s much easier to appreciate her new music.

There is nothing I utterly dislike about this EP  and there are three out of five tracks that I really adore. All the Wakana interviews have headlines saying that this is the REAL Wakana, this is herself shining through. I am so happy to see her being able to express herself in such a manner. Who would have known she was so much into old-school pop?? Haha XD

I am having a hard time comparing her album to this EP because they are inherently different. It feels unfair to say that one is better than the other. Her album had a lot more - what I would call - “traditional” ballads so I think I might be a little more biased to that but her EP is such a breath of fresh air, I can’t help but love it too.

I wonder if Wakana will continue using this particular delicate singing style? I like it just fine for this EP because it fits the genre of most tracks and I am glad she gets to experiment but I don’t think it would fit her other songs or any of the old Kalafina pieces. Really curious how she will sound at her Winter Lives.

[interesting-blog-name]

SLIGHTLY NEW ALBUMS I LIKED (Little Simz - GREY Area; Monsune - Tradition; Backxwash - God Has Nothing to Do With This Leave Him Out of It)

More loose reviews that I write and instantly want to get out of my Word document and into Tumblr without much of an overlaying theme between the albums or any planning as to which ones I’ll be releasing at which point, but it is what it is. This time I’ll be compiling some recent-ish albums I’ve enjoyed, two of which I’ve come to know from TheNeedleDrop (I try not to watch reviews before writing down my opinion btw), and one EP from an artist I like. Here it is.

Little Simz – GREY Area

Little Simz, the 26-year-old British rapper, is an artist I’ve loved the first time I heard her, when I listened to Selfish for the first time and saw her cover of Feel Good Inc. in triple-j’s Like A Version. Today, May 30th, I was planning on listening to White Chalk by PJ Harvey, but from what I read, it’s a pretty depressing album, and I’m not in the mood for that right now, so I picked GREY Area from my future listening list.

It’s really nice to hear a rap album like this once in a while. The instrumentation is organic and well thought out, her flow is amazing, and her lyrics have so much substance and personality to them, ranging from the happier, more reminiscent tone in 101 FM to the much more aggressive tracks Offence, Boss, Venom and Pressure, she’s always giving her take on life, telling the experience of what it’s like being a black person with big dreams in England, seeing friends die while she tries to go somewhere in life through music.

The main tone she picks for her self-narrative is an unapologetic view of the world around her; she tells the listener: “’til now I ain’t ever been the selfish type, ‘till now I ain’t ever told nobody no, don’t get it twisted. This shit ain’t happen overnight” in the biggest song off here, Selfish, featuring the most calming and lavish pianos and violins in this album, and an amazing feature by Cleo Sol on the hook. Pressure features an amazing batch of verses all about. Same thing with the intro, Offence, with its bold, empowering chorus; although the track comes off more playful with its cartoonish sound effects nearing the end than the raw message of the track mentioned previously. A great, high-spirited track to start off the album.

What isn’t as high-spirited is the next track, Boss, or, to be fair, almost all the other tracks in the album. Boss is a big fuck you to anyone you might dedicate the song to: the hook has Simz’s most aggressive delivery in the whole record, and the entire message is about getting over those who hurt you and coming up.  The second verse is something else.

Wounds, featuring Jamaican singer Chronixx, deals mostly with the gun/crime problem ever-so-present in marginalized communities all around the world, and she tells the story from the perspective of both herself and as a companion of the “gun man”, repeatedly mentioned in the song (“When a gun man only knows self-hate, them bullets show no love”). I’m not super crazy for Chronixx’s hook, or the much slower tempo of the track, but it fits well with the groovy instrumental. Venom, on the other hand, is a super exciting, menacing song. She goes all out over the violins playing in the background, but unfortunately, the track burns twice as bright to last half as long.

To lighten the mood a bit, 101 FM brings the most electronic instrumental, with cheerful, banging 808s and synths, and lyrics about her come up as a rapper, probably the verses where her British accent and slang dominate the most, giving them a more personal feel somewhat. Pressure doesn’t feature the most compelling instrumental or hooks in here – the Little Dragon refrain is mixed very poorly and the vocalist just doesn’t do a great job -, but the verses compensate for that, especially the first one, probably one of the most heartfelt and important ones in this album. Therapy talks about Simz’s struggles with finding comfort in therapy. The instrumental is average for the project, but still slaps, so that’s nice.

Sherbet Sunset is an ode to a broken relationship, and a theme that could be handled so poorly by other artists is handled masterfully by Little Simz. In three verses, she displays so many sides to what I assume is one relationship, so many emotions and thoughts that she shares, it really feels like she’s transcribing something of a focused, bright mind rush over the track, and it amazes me how she can reveal her feelings so well on a track like this, progressing from the regret of not seeing how it’d go wrong, to the anxiety that comes from spending all that time for seemingly nothing, to coming to terms with it in the last verse (although not quite). It’s a stunning song now that I listen to it again.

To close it all off, we have Flowers, mainly a tribute to various artists from the 27 club, with mentions of Jimi Hendrix and Amy Winehouse in the verses, trying to relate to their struggles with drug addiction and quick fame. It’s incredibly powerful and a great finisher.

I don’t dislike one track in GREY Area. It’s well conceived, a great statement, it really feels like she gives her all to make every track memorable, and even though her delivery is mostly monotone throughout the whole album, that also works to her favor, as she has a very unique and recognizable voice. So the lyrics are extremely well written, and the only reason I don’t give more examples of that is because I got a whole lot of school shit to do, the instrumental work is clean and precise, and I don’t have a whole lot to complain about. Check this shit out if you haven’t.

 FAVORITE TRACKS: 101 FM, Venom, Selfish, Offence, Boss, Pressure

LEAST FAVORITE TRACK: lol nah

 8.7/10

“Why you wanna all dress lies as truth? Have you ever seen what silence do? I don’t wanna see no violent troops putting out fires that haven’t been started”

 Monsune – Tradition

Damn I did not expect to like this as much as I did.

Monsune is a Chinese-Canadian singer who has recently been gaining some popularity from his amazing song OUTTA MY MIND, which features a funky bassline and high-pitched guitar playing that some have compared to Childish Gambino, specifically his album “Awaken, My Love!”. I decided to check out this short EP by him to see if he had anything more to offer, and it’s safe to say, he does.

The first track off Tradition already shows what this guy can do with his production. It starts off with the same vibe off of his previously mentioned biggest track, but on steroids: a prominent bassline, pitch-altered backing vocals, sunny guitars, and drowned out drums. His voice is also reaching higher notes in this song than in OUTTA MY MIND, but then in the middle of the song it all slows down for a very welcome beat change that shifts the song from this summer anthem to a very chill R&B tune. It’s amazing stuff, although I don’t understand why he chose to put some very noticeable autotune in this part.

CLOUD is my least favorite from the EP, but it’s still a very solid song, it’s just not amazing. The bass is still very strong, and the bridge later on in the song is addictive as shit. After that track comes OUTTA MY MIND, and then his style completely switches in MOUNTAIN, which starts off with some solo guitar and his low, beautiful singing. It’s actually really moving for some reason lol. It then picks up in the hook, the drums kick in along with what I assume is a keyboard, and his voice reaches the top of his range for the backing vocals, it’s a very well-made song.

JADE finishes Tradition off extremely beautifully, with a smooth acoustic guitar intro over a nice-ass bass, some ethereal, trippy scenes of Monsune floating over the ocean and appearing out of thin air in front of you (probably not you, the listener). And then all of a sudden this madman screams off the top of his lungs in the middle of the track and I fucking love it.

The flaws this EP has are mostly related to the mixing, which I think can be a little too harsh in some sections such as the big breakdowns in JADE and MOUNTAIN. Plus, I know lyrics aren’t a focus on a project like this, but it would be nice to get something more than love songs in the future perhaps. Still, loving this EP, so glad I checked Monsune out. You should too.

 WORST TO BEST: CLOUDS, 1998, JADE, OUTTA MY MIND, MOUNTAIN

 8/10

“Don’t you wanna come down? Cause I’m so bored of walking on the same old sky”

 Backxwash – God Has Nothing to Do With This Leave Him Out of It

God Has Nothing to Do With This Leave Him Out of It is an album by American rapper Backxwash, who received a new wave of attention after Anthony Fantano reviewed this album in his channel and gave it a decent 8. I haven’t watched the review yet, but I was interested in checking it out because of the high score, and especially since when I looked it up on Spotify, the songs only had around 8000 views.

Dark subject themes and the whole dark trap aesthetic are the core of this album. I, personally, have always been a fan of aggressive, heavy rap music, from more underground names like gizmo and Fukkit, to the more mainstream variant of these sounds, like XXXTENTACION. This album, however, operates in somewhat of a separate lane.

Many of the dark, edgy rap I used to listen to religiously back in the day was borderline mindless. Shit about ripping someone open, hollow flexing, except separated from mainstream rap only because the rapper in question is screaming their brains out when talking about designer clothes, instead of mumbling like your average Lil Baby, and, of course, personal problems, depression, being mad about whatever it was. Unlike its other contemporaries, however, it seems Backxwash has much more thought and elaboration into what she wants to yell about. Instead of hiding behind bass-boosted rather formulaic instrumentals, she takes the more scenic route, with still very dark, but more intricate gothic beats, sampling various religious speeches and implementing them into songs about black magic and overall unhappiness. The Black Sabbath sample that opens up this album should be enough for any listener to immediately understand what they’re about to get into, as the title track brings heavy percussion and some of the most graphic lyrics in the album, which it already doesn’t lack. Lines about downing pills and vodka, contemplating suicide, and blank vocalizations of anger (“I want war with these bitches, I want corpses and weapons”).

The track that resembles an average edgy Soundcloud rap song the most is Black Magic right after, with its own interpretation of the “ay” flow, shouted with a tone reminiscent of someone like Craig Xen. The big difference comes with the much grander production, especially the growling guitars that get introduced halfway, reminding the listener of Backxwash’s skill as a producer. From what I could tell, she was responsible for the production of the tracks in here, and considering there are no vocal guests except for Malldate’s quick appearance in Into The Void, I’m assuming the features listed in the tracklist are all producer credits as well, the feature in this track being Ada Rook, providing the amazing guitar work for this song.

Spells is mixed for me. I don’t enjoy the attempted singing in the chorus, and it falls completely flat to my ears; the beat is hard as ever, but the lyrics feel slightly disconnected with each other. At one point, she’s talking about going to Hell to her mom, at the other she mentions doors opening and closing in an office and how there’s no one in some corridor, and it doesn’t go anywhere from that, with lines such as “heart is so dead with tissue” not exactly evoking any sort of emotion or imagery.

Black Sheep is the most effective song out of the first four; it seems to filter all the positive aspects of the other tracks and package them into one quick serving. The beat is chaotic and in a constant state of unrest, the lyrics are centered and aimed at various of Backxwash’s problems in life, such as her father, people who want to bring her down and put her “in line on the X and O’s”, and overall venting. After that comes a brief interlude, the first of two that don’t have much use in the album except as pallet cleansers. It’s followed by Into The Void, a track that mentions her paranoia of being harassed and possibly killed when walking around in the streets and the deli. It’s haunting, and definitely the best song in here; it is laser-focused in the exact way I wished the previous tracks would be. Her vocal delivery is extremely expressive, and she tells the story in a way that gives the listener a brief, but at the same time immense glimpse of the reality that trans people face and have to go through, in a morbid fashion.

Adolescence is very short and eases the pace a bit after the intense emotions of the last. It’s a message to her younger brother that quickly descents into a confession of her inner struggle, mentioning possible overdoses and being too old for the 27 Club and fearing going to therapy. What’s great about this song is the fact that, even in such a short amount of time and with a less explosive instrumental, Backxwash manages to evoke her emotions so well; this is definitely what she does best in this record, and it overcomes the times where her delivery is flawed and her words are slurred and hard to understand. After this comes Amen, and holy fuck is this an angry song. Criticizing the hell out of the church, Backxwash comes at greedy pastors and their irresponsible spending when the churchgoers who support him are in need. My big problem with this song is the fact that the hook, as impassionate as it is, doesn’t do much for the subject, and the verse is way too short to have any impact with its theme. Lines like “these politicians politicking” don’t help much either.

The very distorted second interlude, Heaven’s Interlude, takes us to the last track, Redemption, the least intense song in here, which is appropriate as a sendoff. She expresses her frustrations towards her dad’s frustrations towards her being trans, and while the entire sentiment of the song is great and well formulated, I can’t find a way around the lines “Fuck these fucking boomers, fuck these fucking losers. Fuck theses motherfucking fuckers in their fucking two truck. Fuck these fuck(sic)abusers, and fuck these fucking rumors.”, they just emanate Limp Bizkit energy.

God Has Nothing to Do With This Leave Him Out of It is a very passionate, real, well produced and well-conceived album; it bears themes that are immensely important to be brought to the music scene, and by mixing that message with its explosive and polished production, it amplifies it a ton. However, as powerful as her deliveries are, I believe Backxwash can go much further with her songwriting and song structuring in the future, as well as her intonation, because that was really all that was keeping this album from being legendary. If she can do more of this in songs that are longer and super focused around whichever topic she decides, she can make something legendary. And thank God she got reviewed by Fantano, I hope she can take this opportunity and make something huge out of this.

 FAVORITE TRACKS: Into The Void, Black Sheep, God Has Nothing to Do With This Leave Him Out of It, Adolescence, Black Magic

LEAST FAVORITE TRACK: Spells

 7.7/10

“Chosen one, sad bitch, lowest scum. Coldest, huh, black sheep talk to ‘em. If the situation changed I would have said the same shit, exactly the same.”