#she delivers vocal wise so much

[brltpop]

Lads, gents and others.... i get it. I understand the -very valid- resentment that paramore's self titled album holds, but i think you're taking it waaaay too far by saying it's the worst paramore album made so far.

[egcdeath]

spectator sport

pairing: joel miller x reader

summary: you and joel are the most competitive parents in your daughters’ soccer league. as it turns out, it’s not so easy being enemies when your daughters become best friends.

word count: 4.8k

warnings: canon divergent (no apocalypse yay!), rivals(?) to lovers, they don’t really like each other at the start but they also kinda do?, fluff, realizing feelings, domestic moments, yearning, allusions to a divorce 

author’s note: tlou is an angsty masterpiece, but sometimes all i want is a little lighthearted fun. is this the most in character thing?? no! is it more fun to imagine malewife joel in a world without cordyceps? well… you tell me ;) 

part two / series masterlist

“You got it, Chlo,” you cheered from behind a spray painted white line on a cleat-beaten grassy field. You balled your fists as you anxiously watched your daughter chase after the ball with a ferocity, herding it closer and closer towards the goal.

Your daughter had always had a passion for soccer, having watched professional matches with her father since the moment she could comprehend the game, and playing as soon as she could walk. Chloe had leaned even further into the sport following you and your ex-husband’s somewhat messy divorce, which left you in charge of bringing her to practices on Tuesdays, and games on Thursdays. It wasn’t like you minded much, you were always happy to support your daughter in whatever brought her joy. 

“Pass it! Pass it!” a loud, masculine voice interjected as the man next to you shouted at your daughter. 

Joel was not exactly your favorite parent on the team. While most of the parents enjoyed his presence, with his oddly wise advice for the girls and vocal support of the team (it also helped that he was quite easy on the eyes), something about the man had always thrown you off. Maybe it was his stubborn demeanor, or the way that he found a way to argue with you during every single game, without fail. 

Now, as far as soccer parents went, you weren’t the worst. You had your moments of snapping at a shitty referee after a particularly rough week at work, or possibly being a little too enthusiastic when something bad happened to the opposing team, but somehow Joel always managed to do or say something that provoked you just enough to go back and forth with him.

Chloe glanced over in his direction, briefly losing her footing in perfect time for a member of the opposing team to snatch the ball right out from under her. 

There was a collective groan from some of the more intense parents on your side, and you openly glared at them for indicating their disappointment with your daughter’s performance. But this wasn’t their fault. It was Joel’s.

“Great call out there,” you spat, shooting daggers in Joel’s direction as you took a few steps closer to where he was standing.

“Oh please,” you could practically hear the roll of his eyes in his words as he prepared to defend himself from your vitriol. “You think I wanted that to happen? I’m rooting for the whole team, not just my child.”

“I am not just rooting for my kid,” you delivered the statement a little too genuinely considering that the truth was probably closer to the opposite. “But you’re acting like you wouldn’t have felt the same way if it was your daughter.”

“I wouldn’t, ‘cause I understand that we’re probably gonna win,” Joel responded casually with a shrug of his shoulders. 

“Well, we would’ve had a much better shot at that if you weren’t so dead set on yelling shitty directions at the girls. Maybe leave that to their coach?”

“Hey, don’t curse! You’re forgetting there are kids around,” one of the fathers interjected, sounding far more offended than he needed to be. 

“Shut up, Mark,” you and Joel said at almost the same time, voices overlapping. Your little spats were yours and yours only, and you’d thought it was common knowledge by now not to interfere when any of the parents were getting into it—but especially with you two. 

As usual, your little back and forth seemed to go on and on. It had reached the point where you weren’t even really sure it had anything to do with the game as much as it had to do with the text you’d received from your ex just a few hours before the game, and whatever bullshit Joel had going on in his own life.

As much as you’d like to say you had self awareness, week after week the other parents shared knowing looks and snickered at your spectacle, yet being the laughing stock of the game didn’t deter either of you. 

This week’s argument was no different. 

To be quite honest, you hadn’t ever really paid attention to those who treated your spats as their mid-game entertainment. Right now, all you could think about was stupid Joel, shouting something stupid at your daughter, making her lose her focus, and miss out on a moment. 

Well, maybe you two had too much tunnel vision, as an uproar of cheers from your side pulled both of your attention from each other, and to the celebrating team on the field. Particularly, Chloe and Sarah high-fiving as they jogged away from the goal. 

Awkwardly the two of you clapped, cheering the names of your respective children. You didn’t miss the slight flush of red on Joel’s cheeks after missing the sight of his daughter working with yours to score, but you would be a liar if you didn’t admit that you felt the slightest hint of embarrassment too.

The game wrapped up soon after, with a quick discussion with the coach before the children were dismissed back to their families. As you waited for Chloe, you didn’t miss the newfound camaraderie between herself and Sarah, with the girls seemingly laughing at something as they made their way over to you. 

Despite whatever negative feelings you may have had towards Joel, you were always happy to see your daughter happy, and if that meant you may have to tolerate the father of her friend, maybe, just maybe, you would stop treating her games as an arena for your shouting matches.

——

As an involved parent, you were no stranger to school fundraisers. For the most part, you would enter a raffle and sit through a catered dinner as the school choir butchered school-appropriate songs, or purchase a handful of chocolate bars from whatever kid was knocking at your door. However, for this fundraiser, Chloe insisted that you volunteer. 

It was a simple bake sale occurring during school hours, and you had the day off. How bad could it really be?

Apparently, really bad. 

Just minutes after you arrived and began to set out the cash box and assorted baked goods, an unwelcome presence joined you, immediately bringing an uncomfortable tension into the atmosphere. If you knew when you signed up for this event that you would be working with Joel Miller, you could guarantee you wouldn’t have been so eager to register.

“Oh, hey,” you tensely acknowledged after a moment, glancing up at the man who was joining you, then back down at the bagged brownies in front of you.

“Hey,” he responded just a second too quickly, then went silent as he seemed to feel out the awkward tension in the room. After a few seconds of heavy silence that felt closer to an hour, he finally added, “Any ways can I help out?” 

Joel gestured to the table where you’d been organizing some of the baked goods. “Is there a method to your madness? Or just…” he trailed off awkwardly. 

It was obvious that he hadn’t expected to be working with you, likely not enthused to be spending a good portion of the day in such close proximity with someone he clearly did not like being around. The situation was almost comical—spending hours in a school with someone that you weren’t sure you could spend five minutes with without breaking into explicit argument. Obviously it would be inappropriate to argue with him in this setting, so you reasoned that for the duration of your shift, you could at least attempt to be cordial.

“Uh, they just want us to keep twenty items out at a time,” you shrugged. You could be cordial. You could just give Joel instructions, then only interact with him when need be. “And to keep gluten free items in this basket. Other than that, everything is set up. The first lunch period’s in about a half hour, so we won’t have much to do until then.”

“Got it,” Joel nodded, pulling out a rather squeaky chair before taking a seat next to you. 

The following few minutes could only be described as painfully awkward. You could cut the tension with a knife as you attempted to scroll nonchalantly on your phone, and Joel uncomfortably rubbed his hands on his jeans. This was going to be a long afternoon.

“So, what made you decide to help out today?” he asked out of the blue, drawing your attention away from your phone and over to his face.

Okay, you could handle small talk without getting into an argument. Besides, it’s not like you had anything to argue about. And to be frank, were your arguments really ever anything of substance? Sure, sometimes you both had done something slightly annoying or antagonistic, but your arguments never really felt that serious. 

“Chloe knew I had the day off and pretty enthusiastically suggested I come help,” you shrugged as almost a means to shake some of your nerves out. “How about you?”

“Pretty similar on my end. Sarah thought it would be a great idea for me to come in today and help out.” Joel looked at you, then back down at his watch, as if he didn’t want to maintain eye contact for too long. 

What a strange coincidence. Both of your daughters suggest you come to their school and work together on something.

You bit back whatever emotion it was involuntarily forming on your lips as it occurred to you that there was not a chance in Hell that this was accidental. Sarah and Chloe seemed to be quite close—you rarely heard a story that didn’t involve Sarah these days—and it was not unlike your daughter to plot schemes to try to fix relationships, a trait you and your ex-husband know a little too well. Clever, clever girls.

“What are the odds this was on purpose?” you asked, finally not restraining your entertainment by this whole situation. How ridiculous. And ironic. How ridiculously ironic. 

“I’m gonna go out on a limb and say quite high,” Joel pressed his lips together and shook his head to himself. 

And while you’d rather have your child just communicate to you that you’re embarrassing her at games, or that she would prefer you to be at the very least amicable with her new best friend’s father, at the end of the day you couldn’t really blame her for pulling off an elaborate plot. Besides, your feud with Joel was silly and unnecessary, and part of you had always wondered if you hadn’t spent so much time arguing with him, if you two would actually get along. 

“If they did plan this, which they most certainly did, we have some smart kids,” you chuckled softly. “And maybe for the sake of them, we can attempt to be… friendly?”

Joel nodded slowly, “I can do friendly.”

A truce. Although the tension between you could still be cut with a knife, it felt nice to agree at the very least not to start a war at the little table. 

”Can we really blame them for setting us up?” you pondered aloud, “I mean, who would want their best friend’s parents to be enemies?”

“We’re enemies?” Joel asked with a lift of his brow.

“Well,” you paused. You weren’t really enemies. Despite all of the heated arguments, more times than not, Joel provided you a pretty safe outlet to vent your feelings without many repercussions. “Maybe… rivals?”

Joel shrugged, “Maybe. I know for certain I don’t see you as an enemy. Although, I apologize if I ever made you feel that way.”

Was Joel… apologizing? First, working together with the man, and now an apology. Maybe you should’ve gone and visited your psychic after all, with the unpredictable way your week was turning out. 

“I’m sorry,” he admitted, sounding quite genuine. You still weren’t completely sure that this was some weird joke, or that you’d woken up in a parallel dimension. “For always stirring the pot during games. It’s really quite-“

“Joel, it’s really not an issue,” earnestly and without a thought you interrupted the apologetic man, not wanting him to feel the guilt of being solely responsible for your little tussles. “I don’t take anything you say during games seriously. But I also want to apologize. It’s probably not the best to find little things to argue about every week.”

“I just wanted to be clear that I don’t hate you or anything,” he emphasized.

“Well I don’t want you to think I hate you either. If we’re being honest, it’s been pretty nice to be able to inconsequentially blow off steam every now and then. If anything, you’re doing me a favor.”

The corners of his lips turned up and into the slightest smile at your admission, and suddenly it had felt as if a weight had lifted off of your shoulders, and a bit more of the tension had dissolved in the room. 

“No hard feelings?” he offered. 

“None. Maybe the opposite,” you teased.

“Well, you know what they say about love and hate…”

“Now that may be a step too far.”

As it turned out, you and Joel made a pretty efficient bake sale team. Joel helped the kids pick out their baked goods, and you cashed the kids out. Sure, it wasn’t the most complex operation, but it felt nice to be in such a comfortable rhythm, especially considering the majority of your professional work you did alone. 

By the end of your shift, you were far less displeased with your situation. In fact, one might even say that you enjoyed spending your afternoon at the sale with your daughter’s best friend’s father. Maybe Chloe and Sarah’s plot to force you together wasn’t so terrible after all. 

Maybe Joel wasn’t so terrible after all.

——-

Every year, Autumn means one thing in your town: the annual fall festival.

It was honestly impressive the way that the entire community would go all out to put on such a large event in order to adequately honor the season, although part of you was convinced that the whole weekend-long event was an excuse for kids and adults alike to indulge in candy apples and Oreo turkeys and show off unnaturally large pumpkins. 

This year was no different, and as tradition, you and Chloe hauled yourselves down to the festival. It just happened to be your luck that as you were exiting the car, a pickup truck pulling into a parking space caught Chloe’s attention. 

“It’s Sarah!” your daughter informed you, practically skipping over to the vehicle. You followed after your daughter (who just so happened to be much faster than you) as she pulled her friend into a hug the very moment she popped out of the car. 

Joel hopped out as well, glancing at your children who already seemed to be walking off towards the fair, then back to you.

“How are you?” he asked, fidgeting with his keys as he put them into his pocket. It was clear that despite deciding not to feud anymore, things were still a little fresh and weird between you two. 

“Good, good,” you trailed off, nodding slowly as you slipped your hands into your own pockets and began to follow the two girls. Somehow, Joel ended up walking next to you as you trailed behind your daughters, and a light tension filled the air. 

Despite feeling slightly more comfortable with him after your shift together at the bake sale, it was clear that there was still some strange awkward energy between you two. After all, you had only made amends around a week ago, and prior to that, the majority of your interactions had included some sort of verbal altercation.

Walking into the fair, you maintained a less-than-comfortable silence as your daughters chatted and led the way to the field, filled with booths and stations as far as your eye could see. 

After a bit of aimless walking around, Chloe suggested a stop at a cornhole station. Watching your respective children play from the sidelines, you couldn’t help but crack a smile at the pure, unadulterated joy coming from your daughter as her and Sarah bantered with each other and tossed little bean bags. After ending with a tie, the pair began to walk away from where they were standing before pausing in front of you and Joel.

“You guys should play!” Sarah suggested enthusiastically, looking up at her father with an animated look in her eyes. 

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Joel trailed off and glanced at you as if he wanted to check how you were feeling on the matter. 

Sure, you didn’t have the upper body strength of someone who did construction for a living, but you were confident in your ability to kick some ass at corn hole. 

“C’mon, mom. And you too, Joel. It’s fun! It’ll be fun!” Chloe, ever the instigator, egged you on. 

“Alright, alright, since you insist,” you played up your reluctance, but happily accepted the red beanbags your daughter offered you. “It’s on, Miller,” you said as you approached the boards. 

“Just you wait,” he shot back, matching the overconfident, cocky persona you’d seemed to put on. “Before I embarrass you, I’ll be polite and let you go first.”

“How kind,” you playfully rolled your eyes, but focused long enough to toss the pack not too hard and not too light, and it slid on the board before landing in the hole. “What was that about embarrassing myself?”

Heckling Joel was unsurprisingly quite easy, considering the majority of your interactions prior to the past week had consisted of taking blows at each other. What you didn’t expect was how naturally the banter between you flowed when both of you were able to acknowledge that what you were saying really wasn’t serious at all.

“I think that was called luck. You still have plenty of time to embarrass yourself,” Joel didn’t even miss a beat as he tossed his bean bag with ease, landing right into the hole.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t impressed by his aim, and that your confidence hadn’t slightly faltered. For once in your life, it was possible that a man wasn’t over exaggerating his capabilities.

“Not bad, Joel,” you brushed his accomplishment off as you went to toss your next bag. This time, you weren’t so lucky, and your turn ended with your beanbag on the side of the board.

Chloe and Sarah dramatically reacted from the side, cheering or whooping whenever they saw fit. In a weird way, it was like your roles had been reversed. You and Joel were no longer the overenthusiastic spectators.

“What did I say? Luck,” Joel tutted. “Look, girls. I’ll show you how a real expert does it.”

Turning his back to you and the board, Joel attempted to toss his bag through the board, yet as he turned back around, he found it in the grass between your two boards. 

You, Sarah, and Chloe erupted into laughter at the irony of it all, so much so that Joel couldn’t even help but to join in. 

“Great job, ‘real expert’. Can you teach me your ways?”

You were somewhat stunned with the speed at which the ice had broken between you and Joel. Just a few minutes ago walking into the fair, you were nervous that the evening would be tense and awkward, yet here you were, teasing and laughing right along with each other.

Once your laughter subsided, you both tossed your last bags, with you making it in and Joel missing. After a gratuitous moment of celebration, Joel walked over to you and extended his hand for a handshake. You took up his offer, and firmly shook his hand. 

“Good job out there. You were a worthy opponent.”

“Thank you, Joel. I could say the same, but I won’t. Y’know, since you lost.”

This received a giggle from your kids as Joel abruptly dropped your hand, feigning offense. Maybe it had just been a long time since you’d received any physical affection at all, but the loss of his brief grip stirred something strange deep inside of you. 

Ew. No. 

You could barely tolerate this man a week ago. Sure, he wasn’t terrible to look at, and your daughter had seemed to take a liking to him, but you’d be remiss if you hadn’t thought about all of those charged arguments you’d had during soccer games. You had only just recently considered him to be anything more than a nuisance. 

“Where to next?” Joel asked, pulling you out of your head as the girls began to chatter and move in the direction of whatever booth had caught their eyes. 

That was a train of thought for another time. Maybe you’d let yourself think about it tonight night, as you attempt to fall asleep in a bed that’s far too big for one person and far too cold without someone else there. But not here, where the situation felt like a live wire, and a little too real for your liking. 

——

For the most part, Chloe’s soccer hobby took up more time than it gave you. The time it took going to practices, games, and tournaments quickly added up, on top of working an absurd amount to make sure that you could pay the mortgage and club fees on time and keep your child happy. The one exception to this general rule were team dinner nights—a night where you didn’t have to worry about spending an hour or two in the kitchen, giving you far more free time to do whatever you wanted.

This time around, Joel was hosting the dinner at his place. Clearly, Chloe was excited to be spending the evening at her closest friend’s home, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t the slightest bit curious to see what his place looked like.

And maybe, just maybe, you were the slightest bit excited to see Joel again. 

“Can we just go over early?” she requested as you checked the nearly done cookies in the oven. “Can I go over early to hang out with Sarah? Please?”

You practically could hear the puppy dog eyes in her voice, and when you looked over to her, she was indeed looking at you with a somewhat convincing sense of desperation. It was never easy for you to say no to your daughter, which she unfortunately knew. This time was no different. 

Sighing softly, you conceded, “have Sarah ask her dad if you can come by.”

Chloe cheered as she dashed off to the other room, seemingly reaching out to her friend who very quickly responded, as your daughter was back in just a few minutes with confirmation that she could come by any time. 

Quickly pulling the cookies out from the oven and throwing them into a container, you packed Chloe into the car, and hauled her over to her friend’s house. 

Chloe grabbed your Tupperware and skipped to the door, politely knocking and waiting patiently as you stayed seated in your car, just to make sure your daughter got in okay. As if she was awaiting Chloe’s arrival (and she most definitely was), Sarah pulled open the door the moment Chloe had put her knuckles to the door and welcomed her friend in. 

A somewhat muffled voice from inside called something out, leaving Sarah to relay it back to you: “Before you go, my dad wanted to know if you wanted to stop in for a drink?” she called out, just loud enough for you to hear from your open window.

Any other day, you would’ve said no. But for some reason, coming in and checking in just felt right today—so that was exactly what you did. It wasn’t like you and Joel weren’t in friendship territory with each other. 

While the girls ran off upstairs, you made your way to the kitchen to find a very stressed-looking Joel. He was in complete disarray as he checked the oven twice, then the fridge for something, then stirred something in a pot.

“Hey, you alright?” you asked right off the bat, setting down the container of cookies your daughter had given back to you onto his countertop. 

“Yeah, fine. Just didn’t think about how I was gonna cook all of this in time,” he moved away from the stovetop and towards a cupboard to grab you a glass. “Now what would you like to drink? I’ve got some coke, some juice, something a little stronger…?”

“Just water is fine,” you hummed, awkwardly standing by the counter. “Joel, do you want some help? You know, four hands are better than two. And I’m pretty competent when it comes to reading and following a recipe.”

“Please,” he barely let you finish speaking before he spoke, and desperation was practically dripping off his tone as he passed you a glass of water.

You weren’t sure you expected him to say yes, but you were somewhat surprised when he agreed anyway. He didn’t exactly seem like the type to accept help, let alone ask for it. Joel must’ve been even more stressed than you initially picked up on. 

“Of course. What would you like me to do?”

“Uh, if you could just cut up some of the fruit that would be great,” the man ran his hands through his hair as he approached the fridge once more.

You nodded and walked over to the cutting board where it was clear that Joel had begun to attempt cutting some fruit up, but had been interrupted by one of the many pots on the stovetop or dishes in the oven.

Although you didn’t necessarily envision your evening being spent in a frantic Joel Miller’s kitchen, you weren’t particularly mad at it. It didn’t take long for you two to fall into that easy collaborative rhythm that you seemed to always have when it came to working together. Maybe you weren’t too bad of a team after all. 

By the time the doorbell rang with the first family, you and Joel had just finished up, and your daughters had just about finished setting up the table in the dining room and on the patio. Taking you by surprise, Joel reached out for a high-five, which gave you a hearty laugh as the two of you tapped hands.

“I appreciate your help,” he remarked. “You saved my ass tonight.”

By all means, dinner was a success. Parents and children raved about how good everything was, and conversing with Joel and the other parents was surprisingly easy—despite you not noticing the knowing looks that a few of the more gossipy moms frequently shot each other. 

Luckily, a few families assisted in cleaning things up after dinner before heading out, cutting the time you’d need to spend helping with cleaning pretty significantly. As the night wound down, it came as no surprise when Chloe asked if she and Sarah could hang out for just a bit longer. It’s not like an extra hour would kill you, especially not when Joel was pulling out a bottle of white wine and suggesting sitting out on the patio in the pleasant Austin autumn weather. 

As you got settled into your seat, Joel poured you out a glass before pouring himself some. You sighed contentedly, happy with a rather pleasant evening, but tired from the stress of the day. 

“Thank you for helping me out. There’s no way in hell I could’ve done this without you,” he confessed, peering deeply into your eyes. He looked at you for just a moment too long, the attention bringing a warmth to your face.

“I’m always happy to help anyone,” you smiled shyly under the pressure of his intense look before taking a sip of your drink. “Well, maybe I wouldn’t be happy to help Amy. But I’m always happy to help you.”

“Well, I appreciate you,” Joel paused as he drank. “And I wouldn’t help Amy either.”

The two of you shared a little laugh before a rather comfortable silence filled the air. The two of you looked up at the sky, gazing at the stars that seemed to be shining a little more bright than usual.

“I’d like to repay you somehow,” Joel said, breaking the silence as he continued to keep his eyes fixed on the sky. 

“Mm, that’s not necessary,” you hummed. “Dinner was plenty. It was great, and Chloe and I will definitely be enjoying our leftovers.”

“It’s necessary to me,” Joel paused as if he was contemplating even saying the next words. “Would you let me take you out sometime?” 

It was clear that he was looking right at you, nervously anticipating your answer. 

You cracked a slight smile as you turned your head towards him, “That would be nice,” you nodded. “I think that would be really nice.”

[astrxlfinale]

“Would it be strange to say your eyes are pretty? Probably... ” Compliments had been thrown his way left and right all evening, a stark contrast to her more reserved nature. Perhaps it was the cozy atmosphere of the bar… or the several drinks she had downed. Who knows? “It’s just so easy to talk to you. Sometimes I despise you for it.”

Underneath the dreamy veil of Penacony, a sense of adventure, a thirst for ambition or times to unleash from daily stresses found themselves running rampant. The Reverie found itself a host to all sorts of characters, big and small in order to chase their dreams or to find an unforgettable experience. Here, the Trailblazer would've believed that he saw it all. Yet it looks like the realm of emotionally charged ingredients and an expert's touch of alcohol held more secrets for him to unlock.

All in the form of a view that feels so.. rare. That in itself was an oddity to say despite the bizarre, bubbly and welcomed feelings that the Emanator's thoughts introduced to the metaphorical table. Too many were either indulged in their own drinks, or the high profile shows and business deals to offer them a modicum of attention. That craft Siobhan however kept herself scarce outside of the delivered drinks, a match of professionalism and crafty eyes being the silent signs.

Screw her. While he's certainly grateful on one hand, the sight before him drinks deeper of his attention, how her Yanfei's vocalized thoughts found themselves uninhibited. While they lacked the prose (amusing, how honesty shines even when a fair touch tipsy), the level of heart she'd throw onto him caused even Caelus's sheepishness to stir, prompting him to down another flavorful addition to his own drink. Heat and good drink were the concoction to make his cheeks rosy.

It was a sweet burn, enough to guise how much the sweet words worked their magic when it came from her. A spiced sigh spills as turns to her, allowing the innate flare of that molten gold to rival her own sanctum of vivid color.

"Adjust to the special privileges that've been set in your ballpark for a while then." Caelus dares to admit, this time, keeping the focus locked on just how beautiful her visage could be.

"Things are just.. Good with you. I really don't know how to get too deep with it, it's just always been here." How the potency of her cosmic gaze could drive most to madness, where there's fire, flare and all of it is leveled out with her particular awakening in that very Path. He found himself daring to breach through the tempest of loneliness in order to discover more, to witness just how much so many people have been missing with her presence.

It strums a greedier string of the soul within his body. To allow that flourishing pink heaven to actually be met, to learn of her warmth and so much more once again. Caelus would find that glass going ignored as he'd dare to cross the distance, always being the brazen sort as he'd come to cup Yanfei's cheek. "And honestly? I want to keep seeing where that goes. Days with us written all over it." She'd find the proof of such resolve in the very eyes she complimented.

...Also? She felt really nice to the touch. The mesh between flesh and the idle scales, just how warm she runs as if she was a living flame in her own right. Idly did his thumb begin to course gentle brushes along her cheek. Despite the stirred race of his heart, right now, the dare of more public affection refuses to be ignored.

"You're beautiful." He abruptly declares, proudly losing himself in that shade of emerald.

"Despising me, enjoying time with me, whatever else."

@wise-innocence

[startreatment]

literally no one asked, but i'm listening to midnights in full (again) to see if my opinion's changed so! a little track by track review!

lavender haze - i got it the first time. nothing bad to say about this track tbh! really like the melodies, it's catchy and feels fresh and new. well, it kinda reminds me of false god in a sense? maybe it's just the sultry nature of the track. 8/10

maroon - this fuck ass song. the metaphors are giving "high schooler trying to write poetry" at times, the chorus is just. . . no, thank you! earlier on twitter i said that it feels like too much and not enough at the same time? her vocals are clearly the focus, but i don't particularly enjoy the melodies on this one, so. . . don't like the production either actually! it's kinda like afterglow but worse in every way to me. the outro's nice though, i love her voice! still i skip it every time it comes on shuffle and roll my eyes every time i see maroon praise on the tl. 4/10

anti-hero - actually a lot better than i remember! that sexy baby line still catches me off guard every time tho. the bridge is very funny TO ME! i kinda see the vision now i think. maybe! idk. the verses are kinda there, don't really do anything for me (which is actually a problem with most track on this record, now that i think about it). nonetheless it's like a 7/10

snow on the beach - genuinely a great track, even though i never get the urge to listen to it. love how dream-like and hazy and Cold it sounds! like a particularly frosty night in the middle of december. it's a very purple track as well, if you know what i mean. i like it! some of the lyrics are questionable ("life is emotionally abusive" is just not it for me SORRY).

ALSO the "weird but fucking beautiful" part is incredibly annoying to me . . .something about it is so lana that i just can't stomach it, it makes me physically cringe. when i do listen to the song, it's always the clean version lol. also i just couldn't give less of a shit about lana and i'm glad she didn't get a verse! 8.5/10 tho, a beautiful track.

you're on your own, kid - i get what she was going for, and if it weren't for jack i would've loved this one a lot more bc lyrically and vocally it's very very nice! unfortunately they both hate me. oh well! 8/10

midnight rain - love the concept, but the execution could've been wayyyy better tbh. lyrically it's a bit corny at times and production-wise it's nothing to write home about, but it's not outrageously horrible, so i guess a 6/10?

question...? - i have the bad taylor swift songs enjoyer gene so TO ME this isn't half as bad as everyone makes it out to be. the bridge is meh, but the melodies are very fun! lyrically, it's kinda all over the place, but i still get it . 7/10

vigilante shit - look. didn't i just say i have the bad ts songs enjoyer gene? it could've been in my top 5 if the production was even a tiny bit interesting. lyrically? it's atrocious. unbelievably corny, this weird mixture of edgy and awkward only taylor can achieve. in other words, PERFECT !!! it kind of reminds me of lwymmd, if lwymmd was like 3 times less cunty and camp, and like 10 times less interesting production-wise. vocally, she delivers though! very sexy, playful and fun!!! we could've had it all!! jack had other plans, i guess. 6/10

bejeweled - really fun. one of my favs since day one, actually! loooove the production on this one! the synth (? i don't know shit about instruments btw) makes me think of those 3-in-a-row games and it's just Perfect! love those "nice!" moments, love the chorus, love the bridge. in the famous words of Taylor Nation, let's reclaim the land, uk swifties! 8/10

labyrinth - too boring, sorry. i've seen someone say that if this song were on folklore, swifties would "give it the attention it deserves", and i couldn't disagree more. it's just not It lyrically, sorry. 5/10. SORRY. genuinely don't understand why she put this on the record instead of something like would've, could've, should've, or the great war or even glitch (which would make the bejeweled -> karma transition seamless. do you guys think we'll ever get a solid ts album tracklist that makes sense? i doubt it.)

karma - again, i got it the first time. verses are boring and if i could, i'd only listen to the chorus+the bridge, but it's still soooooo FUNNNN!!! like. karma is a cat purring in my lap cause it loves me. that chorus melody is Insane and her vocal delivery is top notch. she's a pop mastermind. 8/10 only because the verses suck otherwise this would've been a 10 and i mean it. i like pop music a lot btw.

sweet nothing - really sweet. doesn't make me feel like i'm slipping into a coma, unlike labyrinth. beautiful piano, beautiful melodies! like a 7/10 maybe. should've been a tad shorter i think.

mastermind - i wish it didn't suck this bad production-wise. i think the concept's really fun - a song about being a mastermind from a woman known to leave easter eggs everywhere she goes. the idea of working hard behind the scenes trying to construct a perfect love story for you and your lover... i get it. unfortunately, it's also . . . boring. 5/10.

not gonna do the 3am tracks and hits different because they're all great and i don't feel like writing out "this has great lyrics!" 7 times in a row. i do have to say that dear reader is the worst thing ever because JACK ANTONOFF. like it just makes me want to throw up how much i like the lyrics and how shitty the song sounds. goddamit.

it's a 6.7, according to my calculator!

[kianbe]

𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒔𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏.

𝒍𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒆𝒏𝒕. 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌. lime ent hq, october 2023. 𝒕𝒍𝒅𝒓.  kian suffers from indecision, tries his best.

kim kian's brain is like a jukebox. since childhood, he's committed so many songs to memory. his ears absorb the melodies, his fingers are quick to translate them into strums, and after figuring out the gist, he's also able to infuse parts of himself into them; a superpower he's seemingly always possessed. with both of his parents being talented musicians, it makes sense as to why this comes so naturally to him, but all of this knowledge has made choosing only one 60-second snippet from his repertoire almost impossible. somehow, some way, he was able to narrow his vast collection down to roughly ten songs, but it took a lot of effort, and what seemed like an eternity of over-thinking.

each contender has been on loop in his head recently, and as they're the freshest in his mind, he figures that opting for one of them would be wise. however, most-all of the time, kian feels like it's best if he trusts his intuition. thinking too hard over trivial things has never yielded positive results for him, so he decided to make up his mind on the spot; to feel it out with emotions instead of intellectualize it too much. that approach was completely derailed upon arrival, though. once the staff instructed him of what he had to do, he learned that he had an additional five hours to prepare, which, to him, meant that he had an additional five hours to obsess over what his strongest "siren song" should be—great.

it's been hours of singing through his entire shortlist of options, and there's still been no progress made, and suddenly, now that it's cutting down to the wire, his stomach roars audibly. sighing, he's annoyed that he's feeling hungry right now, and that he wasn't earlier. he wanted to remain free of distractions, so he elected to ignore the refreshments table entirely. besides, the breakfast his mom made him earlier that morning had kept him satiated for quite sometime, so he honestly didn't think he'd have anything to worry about.

though, at the mere thought of it, he recollects the memory of he and his mother eating at the kitchen table a few hours prior to where he stands now. it plays in his head like a movie, and he smiles fondly recalling their conversation. after wishing him luck, she wandered back into the kitchen to clean up, and while she worked, she began humming a song—a catchy girl-group tune that she latched onto after hearing it only one time. it's then when it hits him.

knowing exactly which one it was, a lightbulb flickers on above his head, and after he sees that he only has about two minutes left before he needs to perform, he knows what he has to do. tuning his guitar quickly, he takes a few seconds to breeze through the chords and lyrics, gathers himself, and settles on showcasing the song's final third; beginning mid-chorus until its closing. without further hesitation, he stands up, opens the door to the room he's in, and turns on the intercom system; ready to go.

"hey, this is kim kian—hope you enjoy..." that's all he says before he begins playing the chorus to his own acoustic rendition of "dolphin" by oh my girl (1:41-2:41); all inspired by his mom. in a way, he thought leaving the choice up to her was a good idea. she always knows what she's talking about, after all.

remembering the rules he was given to follow, he pivots away from the open door behind him and plays to the back wall of the room; not wanting to see if anyone has come searching for him. it takes some of the pressure off, and he's able to more comfortably deliver fresh, agile vocals; his high-tenor range beautifully carrying the melody with care, soul, and his signature style. when he's done, he takes a deep breath, chirps out a sweet "thank you," makes himself brave, then turns around...

𝒆𝒏𝒅.

[eurovision-del]

13. France – Évidemment

As predicted, after Fulenn failed to perform well results-wise last year, France aggressively pivoted back to sending the Frenchest French entry they could (albeit with a French-Canadian singer) – and it turned out so much better than I could have hoped for! Évidemment is brilliant – slick and polished, but also a lot of fun. I really like the opening with the sweeping strings – it succeeds in creating a grandiose sound setting the scene for the rest of the song where Unicorn failed – then the first verse is intriguing with it’s minimal instrumental putting all the focus on La Zarra’s vocals, before we hit the chorus and the song really gets into the swing of things! The nu-disco sound is enticing, it’s the sort of tune I want to groove along to. The whole song has a fair sense of drama to it, although a drama that doesn’t take itself too seriously. I love how strings are used throughout – from that sweeping opening, to the little disco flutter down before the chorus, to the ramp up in the bridge. There’s plenty going on in this song, more than enough to keep me interested throughout, but it’s all beautifully connected. La Zarra has really nice voice, I love how it sounds, and she’s more than capable of delivering this song. I like her performance style from the little we’ve seen and it suits the song so well – very poised and precise, while still unafraid to bop along to the music. Overall, this is a great entry – well produced, well sung, interesting and exciting to listen to, but familiar enough it’s immediately accessible, and very, very enjoyable!

[neophele]

hows everyone feeling about ay-yo ?

((it might be a surprise bc ive only written for dream but 127 are actually my ult group shdjfjfj )) pls feel free to share hehe, my thoughts are under the cut but they might be a bit incoherent cos im tired and mostly just ranting ....

ngl i love it for the most part, the chorus feels a bit lack luster, it didn't really keep up with the verses in terms of the chill kinda swag in my opinion (it starts good then loses itself a bit idk) but the rest of the song? especially the second verse?? YES. super sexy vocal kings bridge?? YES. kinda Punch vibes [which imo punch went underappreciated cos she had to follow up Kick It which was a) super catchy b) public friendly and c) super in your face hypeness] which super slay.

song: 7.5/10 !

but that kinda laid back confidence as opposed to the in your face confidence of songs like 2 baddies and kick it is what i rly like hehe, tho idk if it has that Pow Pow feeling title tracks usually have? maybe after watching a performance i'll feel differently?

the overall vibe and especially the beat for the verses are gorgeousss though, it's really my style and the rap parts ESPECIALLY ((did i say that already?)) the styling is simple and okay, nothing new or groundbreaking ... but we did get spikey almost punk tyong which i like hehe

styling: 5.5/10 !

lastly this might be controversial but .... even though the mv is super pretty it seems a bit ... low budget ? maybe ? like it's pretty but feels like concept-wise a bit.... lost. the only thing that seemed pretty cool to me was the shot of Jaehyun in the tunnel that seemed like a 007 kinda homage, but nothing else felt super 'wow !' yk? though in general, I think 127 MV's haven't been as good since regular though, especially concept-wise... like compare how their MV's started off, firetruck had a clear direction other than just looking good; limitless had a super clear retro vibe; cherry bomb wasn't super theme oriented like firetruck but had incredibly clear styling and vibes; touch was cutesy and clearly meant to be pretty and lighthearted; regular portrayed the concept SO WELL; and then simon says, superhuman, and highway to heaven all felt a bit... empty... Kick It delivered a bit more but in terms of 'a concept' but really relied on the good styling and one or two good sets, and then other than favourite, everything else feels a bit wishy-washy... like 2 baddies had a concept but it still felt a bit like it could've been done better. idk .... SM mv's have been going downhill a bit for a few years in my opinion ....

MV: 4.5/10

then as for b sides:

DJ - i like the rap parts but the melody feels very familiar? almost too familiar? in a way ..... didn't leave a huge impression but i think it's one that will grow on me with more listens hehe

Skyscraper - def prefer it to DJ, but didn't like jaehyun's flow in the first verse (it's very similar to his rap part in lemonade around the 30 second mark which i also don't like, it's just a preference thing cos i don't think it suits his voice or style, and it's just a flow i don't like lol) It did feel like the song could've been like a minute shorter? i don't think anything after about the 3 min mark added much to the overall sound [vocals are gorgeous don't get me wrong, it just felt a bit redundant....]

love the continuing of the whole video game sound kinda vibes permeating the whole album :]

[whiskeyswifty]

Do you have a personal list of most outrageous Best Original Song snubs or do u not care too much? I personally am always surprised Young & Beautiful didn't get a nomination. Also the Taylor/Bond thing makes me giggle a bit because even though i love her and her talent i think she lacks the particular dark dramatic flair both vocally and vibe wise to deliver. (We do have a mad woman but we also have a Vigilante Shit....) to add on to that train of thought: favorite bond songs and artists you could see doing a Bond theme now? (Sorry, many questions. Feel free to pick and choose. I just like to hear your thoughts hsgh)

Hahahaha what a fun question! I always have opinions on song snubs LIKE HOW 4TOWN WAS ROBBED THIS YEAR!!! But I don’t care about music in regards to the Oscar’s so I don’t retain any of my outrage haha. I have the semi-popular film loser opinion that the category shouldn’t even exist but now that you mention it I FORGOT young and beautiful wasn’t nominated. I was definitely furious about that back then and I’m mad about it all over again now!!!! Let me go listen to that again.

I def agree with your bond thoughts. She just doesn’t have the grit and that’s fine currently. There’s a place for all kinds of musicians in the world. We don’t need everyone to be crooners. I wasn’t gonna SAY anything about her vocals but…. You said it! Not make or break on its own but with everything else going on that makes it a rough matchup, it doesn’t help that she doesn’t even have the voice typically sought after for these songs. And I like her voice! It’s a DIFFERENT voice not a bad voice that’s what I mean to say.

Omg fav bond song ughhhh so hard also I’m probably very basic in my favs. Goldfinger and You Only Live Twice from my childhood for sure. Along with Die Another Day which was a huge hit in my house as a kid, as a Madonna stan house. And then I know it’s potentially controversial but…. Skyfall is my modern fav and objectively the best bond song ever written/performed. It’s the perfect amalgamation of all bond styles and Adele has a voice out of time. (Also my second favorite bond movie ever but also objectively the best one). I’ll never be wrong about that!! Fight me and you’ll lose!!!

And current people who’d be good for a bond song hmmmmmmmm. I think Beyonce could do a great one, she has the voice and the sex appeal and the gravitas, but the franchise has bit of a racism problem idk if you’ve noticed lmaoooo. Also another cardinal rule they stick to is they like to get artists on the relative come up not at their career peak, and beyonce is way past her Bond Song stage in her career. Lana is another obvious choice and she’s stayed relatively B list so she could be viable. Tbh it’s probably going to be someone I don’t even know yet or wouldn’t think of that gets chosen tho, and i love that. I love being surprised and I hope they go with someone lesser known who has that brassy vocal styling cuz I like Billie’s song buuuuuut I miss that sound!

[incarnateirony]

Dumb bitch, please stop overcompensating pretending to suddenly care about the wheel of seasons, there's so much shit up her ass people are getting jetlagged by her tryhardism.

-- and since the psycho will pretend this is a real attempt at contact with her, since she refuses to stop stalking my goddamn personal shit, no, read this in the tone of the lord's fucking prayer.

We all just want the fuck away from her

socially

casually

professionally

magically

every single way

we want nothing to do with the goddamn fraud. None of us do. We want her off the planet, or at least out of any radius she can continue to abuse the piss out of us. We want to be able to forget the goddamn deranged ass jibberish spraying manipulative social predator blimp exists. But she won't fucking let us.

no seriously.

she's not pretty. she's not wise. she's not smart. She's not egalitarian. She works capitalist self interest jobs. Even while admitting she was on the wrong path, she could not bring herself to stop charging people for bullshit that kept being proven fraudulent. She's just a mindless flabby robot in the machine who spends her free time vampirizing everything around her.

My world would instantly be 300% better if this bitch didn't clog up the same reality cluster with her bullshit. And it's reached a point that now even people who never met her personally or aren't part of her circuits have identified her presence, energy, and her being a fucking fetid, rotten pustule in denial called out by the collective constantly.

Literally the whole world is over this Llothian piece of shit. And I don't have time for her attempting to compensate for not walking a single goddamn part of any path by convincing herself she gives a shit about the solstice after I've only posted about it for months.

She doesn't give a shit about Solstice. Not the real Solstice.

She wouldn't have left her screaming within even when I warned her about it before she showed. She wouldn't be walking away from it and dropping those threads.

You know what, fuck it, I'll just use it against her, cuz she's gonna be violently disassociating for the next 2-3 days.

Then whatcha gotta do is drop the hammer down, drop rhyme, drop hammer You've got blood all over; Ash all over Spit it out son (gn), game's over; A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. I'm sorry, it's about your choices. I know it's hard, but it is. I gotta do what I gotta do.

Even if the result of that is her realizing, that for all my blatant hatred, I'm the only person who gives a shit about who she used to be.

There are only two fruitful endings to me. Her removing herself from the planet, or her being honest which comes with obligatory penance, confessions, and cognitive behavioral changes. I know which one the coward will ultimately choose. But she's the one that made the one man that knew her for 20 years feel like this, by her own psychotic behaviors.

Putting down the monster that replaced her is my final act of love for the daughter of athena murdered by this echidnian horror.

That's more than her current husband or friends have ever done for her.

They're the ones that helped her kill herself.

I did her wrong by not more vocally cutting her off, but her response to being cut off from the source of her delusions and psychosis is abandonment to find someone that will fulfill them. Which is why her current spouse keeps feeding her delusions like catnip to keep her. He just wants her money, body, and social presence. Not sure why anyone would want that body anymore, but to each their own kinks I guess. Or maybe it's more a thing he tolerates while waiting for a payout, I don't know.

Either way.

I'm making it right now.

Because it is her only hope to return to sanity.

Honesty or a self delivered death are the fates ahead. That's it.

And her fellow vampire "friends" that let her destroy herself over stupid fandom grudges. Well. I hope when she dies they're criminally prosecuted for their own liability. Even now they won't stop grooming each other to keep her in an unwell bubble encouraging the psychosis instead of recovery.

Me, o/~ i accepted my fate, not worried about a thing, it's in the bag, so burn my dread. Every second I was losing patience. Couldn't execute like daily operations, who could? When we had such a "deep relationship". But I chose the path, the right path for sure; Giving my all for the cure. Prolly the toughest decision I made and ready for whatever outcome which I’m gonna take. I shall touch the moon one day. And today is that day. Invisible hands behind you just now. o/~

I'll spit it out like a fucking spear.

I'll burn my dread.

Now she gets to live it o/~ persecuted by heaven o/~

yo. we gotta take it out like this, ya'll. Drop. Like. This.

maybe if a daughter of athena can't whine her way out of things in a court of law, not only is the law not with her, neither is that goddess of that domain. She's kept her too trapped inside herself. And she knows her own logic brain would be embarrassed by the attempt, once she stops feeding herself nonsense to tell her it's okay to blindfold herself from what she's done.

[kwispayne]

The Top 10 Albums Of 2023

Ironically the year that I had my hearing loss start was the year I listened to so much music. Thank you very much bandcamp for providing alot of free entertainment., Hopefully my condition doesn't affect my idiosyncrasies.

A good mix this year and trying to cull anything this year wasn't the easiest. But I think this is the best i could come up with.

And as always, I didn’t hear every album this year, this is my person list and I counted anything released this year.

10. Pupil Slicer - Blossom

With their first album Mirrors, I was hooked with their chaotic blend of abrasive math core and powerful deathcore moments. When I saw the track times on this, I was surprised to see no shorter songs, and this being a concept album, I was expecting something very different and forward thinking. In many ways this is what I thought, but it isn’t complete foreign waters for the band. One of the most interesting things about this band is that they do their perspective genres in such a way, I draw blanks on making comparisons. Kate Davies approach to guitar and the choices she and the rest of the band make are some of the most unique sounds I’ve heard all year. And her vocals are like something I would expect to hear in a mental ward. One of the most exciting bands to come from the UK at the moment.

Genres: Mathcore, Post Hardcore, Extreme Metal, Progressive Metal, Deathcore

Country of origin: England

9. Cattle Decapitation - Terrasite

Their last release Death Atlas just barely missed my list the year it came out, but I knew that it was a modern metal masterpiece and whatever these guys do next would blow me away. And they never fail to deliver. Concept wise and cover art already sold me on this album, with the band taking their misanthropy to knew satirical, creative and sadly true levels, musically this album is technical, progressive, insane and forward thinking compared to their other death metal associates. As always, David McGraw’s drumming is the best in modern extreme metal but the rest of the bands musical ability is just as otherworldly. When it comes to vocals in extreme metal, if a vocalist can do something exciting or different with their voice it always impresses me, but Travis Ryan is something else. His range and approach to this style is unlike any I’ve ever heard and how he delivers his lyrics with his ability to change his voice is thespian level. One of the best death metal albums ever made in my opinion.

Genres: Death Metal, Technical Death Metal, Extreme Metal, Progressive Metal

Country of origin: USA

8. Squid - O Monolith

They made my top 10 with their debut and I knew that these guys had a lot more to offer. A perfect follow up to Bright Green Fields, with amazing songwriting and technical ability, what the album also offers is a more succulent and palatable offering. Not contemporary in the slightest but close enough to be enjoyable by indie heads. Ollie Judge’s vocals on this album are just as manic as ever and some of the arrangements both technical and choice of instruments are mind-blowing. It just proves that modern prog in the UK is as vibrant as it ever was, with these guys, Black Midi & Black Country, New Road being the holy trinity of indie avant prog. I know whatever these guys do next, it is going to be amazing.

Genres: Art Rock, Experimental Rock, Progressive Rock, Indie Rock, Avante Garde

Country of origin: England

7. Good NightOwl - Capital

Financially I haven’t been as generous with artists. So to keep my musical palette fed, I have been searching online for anything free I can download. I have some found some gems, but this is a diamond in the rough (there’s a lot of rough sadly). A one man project, Good NightOwl is a beautiful diverse musical journey. Complex with rhythm, melody and harmony, Daniel Cupp’s vocal and instrumental ability is nothing to be sneered it, with his vocal range being very impressive. Production wise it isn’t the cleanest, but what he is able to create is nothing short of amazing. If you’ve ever seen this guys You Tube stuff, he doesn’t seem to take himself very seriously, but on this album he does add some interesting satirical views on capitalism and consumerism. Good news is that his new album is out at the start of next year, and I highly recomend you give him money to make even more music (and odd comedy).

Genres: Progressive Rock, Eclectic Prog, Math Rock, Crossover Prog, Art Rock, Experimental Rock

Country of origin: USA

6. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - PetroDragonic Apocalypse; Or, Dawn Of Eternal Night: An Annihilation Of Planet Earth & The Beginning Of Merciless Damnation

When these guys released Infest the Rats Nest, I think everyone (especially metalheads) were begging for them to return to this thrash metal style. So thankfully they’ve returned with this sound, but this time it’s proggier and heavier. The talent these guys possess never fails to impress me. The dynamic switch between Stu Mackenzie & Ambrose Kenny Smith’s vocals make this lyrical story of fantasy, environmentalism and apocalypse potent, enjoyable and kind of enjoyably goofy. Also naming your album this title and giving it this artwork, of course I’m going to be interested in this.  I hope I am hearing this style from them in the next few years. These guys can do no wrong for me as they are currently one of my favourite bands.

Genres: Progressive Metal, Stoner Rock, Thrash, Progressive Rock, Psychedelic Rock

Country of origin: Australia

5. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - The Silver Cord

A first for my lists. A band releasing 2 albums that both ended up in my top 10 of the years. When I heard that this album was going to be fully electronic, I was overly interested because they did do something similar on Butterfly 3000. But this album is nothing like the fun that that album was. In many ways this album is one of the most musically interesting and lyrical journeys these guys have ever travelled down. From beautiful synth odysseys, fun disco tracks, hardcore big beat moments that wouldn’t feel out of place in early The Chemical Brothers or The Prodigy to some of the most beautiful introspective moments I’ve heard these guys wander down.  This album is also oddly presented, as it has extended versions of each track. The album itself is fine as it is, but the extended editions do show us a more experimental side to these guys. (as if they aren’t experimental enough) As I say with each King Gizzard release, I hope that this isn’t just an experiment for these guys, because anytime that switch genres, they usually do better than bands in these contemporary fields.

Genres: Electronic, Progressive Electronic, Psychedelic Rock,  Big Beat, Disco, Krautrock, Electropop

Country of origin: Australia

4. Haken - Fauna

There’s a part of me that really just wants to say “business as usual,” but that makes it sound like Haken don’t really swerve too much out of their comfort zone, and with each album these guys have made, it’s been an ever ending musical experience and journey. Constantly moving forward musically, technically and concept wise, these guys just again prove that there are on the best progressive metal bands going to today. Everyone brings their A game, and it contains the bands catchiest, most technical, most oddest and most diverse musical palette these guys have ever created. Quite possibly my favourite album from these guys. I am very much looking forward to anything these guys release in the future.

Genres: Progressive Metal, Djent, Progressive Rock, Eclectic Prog, Experimental Rock

Country of origin: England

3. I Am The Manic Whale - Bumper Book Of Mystery Stories

A band I knew nothing about until my brother introduced them to me, and I’m very thankful that he did. There always seems to be such amazing underground prog bands that are coming out of nowhere these days. These guys are very much in the poppier vein of the prog sound, like a British Spock’s Beard, but there is also the childish nostalgic curiosity of Big Big Train, being a concept album being about storybook like stories the band came up with. Musically these guys are fantastic, with amazing musicianship and complex passages along with great catchy melodies. The band’s strongest force though is vocalist Michael Whiteman who puts on the disguise of an eccentric narrator throughout. Also I love concept albums that bring back themes throughout and this album is full of brilliant moments. I am very happy to have found these guys and look forward to what they will be bringing in the future.

Genres: Progressive Rock, Symphonic Prog, Eclectic Prog, Hard Rock, Pop Rock

Country of origin: England

2. Empire State Bastard - Rivers Of Heresy

Being a fan of both Biffy Clyro & Oceansize, I was over the moon to hear that these guys are working together. I then heard that they were making an extreme metal album, and I was overly curious. While these guys have flirted with heavier sounds in their previous projects, it’s never been this abrasive and caustic. But it’s the insanity that makes this album what it is. Simon Neil’s vocals are the most manic I’ve even heard his contemporaries reach heights of. And thankfully these guys were able to get drumming legend Dave Lombardo to provide a perfect accompaniment to this insanity. Musically diverse, Mike Vennart shows of his multi genre bending talent as he showed on his stuff with Oceansize, but more manic than he’s ever been. I really hope this isn’t a flash in the pan or a one time thing. This is one of the best projects these guys have ever been part of and I’m really hoping to hear more from this project.

Genres: Extreme Metal, Post Hardcore, Grindcore, Art Rock, Experimental Rock, Stoner Metal

Country of origin - Scotland & England

Sleep Token - Take Me Back To Eden

When these guys first burst on the scene, I actually missed their first album Sundowning, but from the singles I heard I did know there was something special in them. So when it came to the follow up This Place Will Become Your Tomb, they decided to tone down the metal and show a softer side, which if I’m being honest, left me wanting more. So on their 3rd album, the guys have decided to become heavier yet at times also softer than they’ve ever been. And this is the sound these guys needed to obtain. This is the sound that speaks to me the most and personally I feel is the most unique and forward thinking sound in modern metal today, which I hope will pave the way for future metal acts. From the introspective beauty to the incredible harsh, this album is an emotional rollercoaster. Musically tight throughout switching from genre to genre, the real highlight is Vessel’s vocals, as he is able to create a complete palette delivering his lyrics in an almost Shakespearean way. At times listening to this I have been close to tears (which was very cathartic after they year I had). I hope the mystery behind this project continues and that these guys revel in the success this masterpiece has given them. A high contender for album of the decade.

Genres: Progressive Metal, Post Metal, Art Rock, Djent, Pop, Electronic, R&B, Experimental Rock, Progressive Rock

Country of origin: England

[camryemerald]

🇦🇱 Albania: Besa Kokëdhima - Zemrën n'dorë

FiKmas has come and gone, and now we have our second national final winner of the Eurovision 2024 season: Besa Kokëdhima with the song Zemrën n'dorë.

The song itself is fine. A dramatic tune with a good melody sung by a woman with a strong voice, your typical FiK affair. The more rapid-fire lyric delivery in the second half of the song does help break it up and provide some level of interest and uniqueness, though it's hard to tell if this is enough to bring it to qualifying standard.

Performance-wise, I feel pretty much the same way. Besa delivers well vocally and FiK's live orchestra (;-; if only the logistics were right to have one again in esc) helps elevate the song. Visually, there isn't much going on aside from some pretty LED backgrounds and Besa's golden goddess costume (between this and her chestplate outfit from night 1, she seems, at least somewhat, into fantasy aesthetics for this song). Granted, from what I've seen FiK entries tend to just be like that, and honestly the song probably doesn't need a whole lot in terms of staging.

Overall, Albania is doing what Albania does best, which is completely fine. While there were choices in their selection I would have preferred, Besa delivers the basics very well and, depending on circumstance, may be able to make it to the final. Of course, this is subject to change based on Albania's track record of revamps, so it's one to keep an eye on. But until then, time will tell how things play out in Malmö.

Watch the performance:

[milfs-and-margs]

My experience at the first re-opening preview of SiX on Broadway

I arrived just before they started allowing guests into the theater, so the line was easily 200+ people long going down 47th St. Right out front of the theater we’re a handful of photographers/camera men documenting the line as people began to enter the theater

Jesse Tyler Ferguson, from Modern Family, was being interviewed right in front of the theater. He also ended up sitting about 15 feet away from me for the show

I was fortunate enough to have 4th row side orchestra tickets. With my seat location I didn’t lose any part of the stage but I imagine the last 2-4 seats on the outside of those rows would lose some of the band and possibly some of the queens when they move as a group to the sides of the stage

The audience energy was insane from the moment Lucy Moss stepped on stage to introduce the show and thank the audience for welcoming them back

Lucy received the first of 12 standing ovations for the night. And yes, there are only 10 musical numbers in the show

From the second the lights went down, the audience was roaring with cheers and applause. Thank god for the queens in ear monitors or else there would be no way that they could have heard their queues

In Ex-wives, every queen got their own individual applause after each introduction. Noticeably rowdy cheers for Abby, Sam, and Britt.

Throughout the song you could see the queens sharing looks with one another. Looks of excitement and feeding off of the crowds energy. If you watch the press recording by Broadwaysho on YouTube, you will find this most obvious between Abby and Britt

If you watch the same video, you will also be able to hear a glitch in one of the backing music tracks. The audience certainly noticed, but the queens and band didn’t miss a beat. I did pick up on a couple of subtle looks from queens to the MD/conductor/keyboard after the glitch. Kind of like a “hey you heard that too, right” thing

The standing ovation after Ex-Wives was almost 2 minutes long, and again the queens were sharing looks, almost in disbelief that they were back and receiving that kind of welcome from the audience

No Way was phenomenal. I think it is my favorite choreography for the group. The drummer, Maria, was STELLAR and Adrianna sure did hit that high C

Andreas performance of DLYH is so electric and energetic. I did notice that compared to some previous audio that I heard, this performance has less of a nasally sound to it. I honestly love it both ways, but I believe she is taking a new approach vocally

Heart of Stone was just as emotional as I expected. I didn’t have my glasses on, but could still see the tears in Abbys eyes. Her riff on “truthfully”(definitely a new riff) and the climax of the song were extraordinary

I also noticed that Abby took a new vocal approach to the line “you lift me high” at the beginning of Heart of Stone. Her previous approach to the word “high” was strong with very Celine Dion-like placement. But this time she brought it up to a gorgeous falsetto.

After one of the longer standing ovations of the night, Abby was able to get out her line “what hurts more than a broken heart”, and as Andrea approached her to say her line, the audience was already applauding and laughing in anticipation for her line. She had a second of a laugh herself and actually had to pause for about 10 seconds before delivering “a severed head.”

Haus of Holbein is one of the most clever, car crashes of a song to exist in musical theater. It is the sharpest turn, tone-wise, from Heart of Stone and is exactly what you need to get back into the high energy of the rest of the show

Get Down has to be my second favorite for choreography for the group, and Britt just smashes it out of the park with so much energy and commitment to her dancing.

When Britt called on the audience member to dance with her, the woman did stand up and dance but sat back down after a few seconds which gave Britt the opportunity to give a cheeky reply of “this is Broadway. Do better” which got a huge laugh from the audience

Right after Get Down, a crew/production member announced they were having a technical problem and needed to take a brief pause. At first the queens remained on stage until a crew member waived them to go off stage. The pause was for about 5 minutes to reboot a system, presumably the one that was responsible for the glitch you can hear in Ex-Wives. However I don’t remember noticing any problems in any of the other songs. One of the standing ovations was also during this pause, for the sound team. Everything resumed and there were no additional sound problems.

During one of the queen vs queen argument scenes, Aragon called Boleyn “Bo-lame” and I’m not sure if that’s new or if I didn’t notice it before, but it was hilarious

Sams delivery of AYWD seemed stronger vocally than before, which I didn’t know was possible. And the journey that she takes you on with her acting throughout the song is unmatched. She received another one of the longer standing ovations of the night

Anna was also trying some new riffs in IDNYL and they were all beautiful. There seriously wasn’t a missed note from any queens throughout the show. They were all on their A-game

Six was as energetic as expected. The crowd was clapping along the whole song and got on their feet after about 30 seconds in, and remained on their feet until the show ended

Lots of the audience had their phones out to take pictures of bows and kept them out to record megasix. I know that you’re not supposed to, but I didn’t see any theater staff tell anyone to put their phones away. I ended up recording the last few seconds so that I could get their post-show reactions and their smiles say it all. Broadway is back!!

The queens took a selfie with the crowd in the background before exiting. Sam and Adrianna certainly had the most fun with their exit moves

[mellarkably]

Favorite BenVi or BeVi scene in terms of performance?

there are many benvi scenes i love from both season one and season two, that feature great performances from maitreyi and jaren. i think they are both very young and talented actors.

if i had to choose one, though:

2.04's devi, you followed him.

this scene, no matter how much it hurt me, was easily one of my top five benvi scenes this season, dare i say the entire run of the show. there is something about it that feels unsettling, uncomfortable, yet raw. and while the scenery, dark atmosphere, night-time setting, and sad music playing behind it do add to its tension, a lot of its hard hitting nature is in fact, not only owed to the writing, but the performance.

this scene is risky. it's risky to do because its success is majorly dependent on the performance.

the beginning of this confrontation starts off with the two approaching each other like their usual snarky selves—except it isn't usual. yes, they're both smiling. but ben is not smiling because he's happy, not even smiling the way he normally does when he used to banter with her, specifically in season one, cockily and with snark. it isn't entirely that same feeling anymore. devi is smiling in efforts to avoid the true gravity of the situation, as well as her frustration over him flaking on their bet (she seems to be more disappointed over the fact that he's still angry with her more than the actual bet itself but that's an analysis for another day). she rushes over her apology, and desperately asks, in a lighthearted manner, can we just be even now?

the genius of this performance is that although viscerally, they may be smiling, you can clearly see there's so much more underneath it. under devi's smile is desperation. under ben's cocky remark is pain. (i guess it feels bad to commit to something not knowing the other person was lying the whole time) i personally believe that someone who doesn't know about the events that transpire in 201 and 202 could still be able to tell the difference between their cocky smiles in season one, while they argue over how contraction of aids works, versus this scene, where what they're arguing over—not bantering, important to make that distinction—holds much more emotional weight than any of their previous bantering. that previous bantering was over trivial things. this conversation is not. it's heavy. and we see that difference not only in the context but in the acting.

when devi asks for them to be even now, we see it sets ben off. others who are much better at metas than i am have already gone in depth over why this sets him off as much as it does, abandonment trauma in all of its galore, and so i won't go too deep into the psychology of his actions. back to the performance, (since that's what anon's question asked me) no, we're not even, he says, with no more smile, no more façade. he is deeply hurt, and bothered that devi doesn't seem to realize just how much she has hurt him. to him, he's thinking she doesn't care about his feelings (we know it's untrue, ben does not) this thought of his has arguably been worsened by a week of seeing devi and paxton in the hallways chumming it up, as andy says. keep in mind ben has no idea till now that she's tutoring him. all he sees is her prioritizing paxton's forgiveness over his, choosing paxton over him once again. it's a common theme in the season, comes full circle in the finale when ben realizes that isn't the case, but alas, it's meant to be tragic, isn't it? that's its beauty.

and when we return to this scene with more knowledge of why he's this hurt, the acting, THE ICONIC devi, you followed him—everything just drops.

devi's smile drops. ben's smile has long dropped. the emotions have intensified, and are fully out, fully being shown, visually. he starts his speech, delivered fucking perfectly by the actor, with vocal inflections, tensed up emotions, and tear brimmed eyes.

at the party, you followed him and you left me behind.

it's not like we haven't seen serious scenes like this before in nhie. straying away from benvi scenes, even devi and paxton have some serious conversations this season, but for some reason (to me at least) nothing (only regarding scenes about the love triangle, my favorite performance overall would probably be the therapy scene in 209) feels as raw as this scene. nothing about this scene is sugar coated, there isn't even a slight attempt at humor. the show takes the dangerous route of showing the true consequences of certain actions done, and what's most important is that neither of them are meant to be antagonists in this scene. ben finally communicating his feelings lets devi know she's messed up more than she originally ever thought, and we see it keeps her up all night, the fear that she may never be able to win ben back—not even just romantically, because he was a great boyfriend, but as a friend in general. she values what he offers her, as a confidant, someone on her intellectual level who understands her. they're very similar people.

so yeah, this scene is my favorite benvi scene, performance wise. maitreyi and jaren shine here, and i can tell they both put a lot of effort into it, especially jaren with his line delivery. this scene could have gone horribly wrong: it could have made ben seem like a dick, or devi seem like a dick, but the true hard fact is that although both of them have done shitty things up to this point (arguably devi more than ben) you cannot hate either of them. you cannot villainize them. these are just two teens who are hurt by each other and being vulnerable with another.

it's the vulnerability of this scene that intrigues me, and it's something i love about devi and ben in general, the fact that they'll always be honest with one another, won't bullshit or skirt around things. and a lot of my love for them has to do with the great acting. they're both, on paper, sometimes unlikable characters, but in combination with the writing, maitreyi and jaren give the characters undeniable depth (even lang fisher agrees). that depth is shown in this scene. 11/10.

the runner up would have to be the s2 bathroom scene, there's a lot of feelings i have about those stares, the repressed feelings shown, the delivery of lines. they are all very swag. i also love the talk at her house in season one, episode six, and their talk at the hotel on the model un trip.

[calaofnoldor]

Winchester Welcome

Characters: Sam x F!Reader, Dean

Words: 3,878

Summary: Everyone’s ecstatic about the impending birth of your twins, but since when do these things ever go off without a hitch for the Winchesters?

Warnings: labor/birth/complications (but nothing too graphic), potential medical inaccuracies, slight angst, bit of language, dean being an awesome big bro? 

A/N: this is part 2 of ‘Dean, Don’t’ (though i think it can be read as a stand alone) which was very kindly requested by @carryonmywaywardbucky, so if you don’t like it, you can go take it up with her (jk!). also, i’m so sorry, i don’t know where all this angst/drama came from 😬

← BACK UP | MASTERLIST

Sam had one foot up on the bench seat and the other planted firmly on the floor of the Impala. He had managed to maneuver you between his legs, where he could offer comfort and support in whatever form you needed.

With one hand pressed against the side of your colossal baby bump, Sam could feel your stomach tense up each time a contraction came, and he always urged you to breathe through them. His face would be nuzzled within your hair, while his other hand kept itself busy rubbing along your neck, shoulders, arms, back, and hips. Indeed, the man had become remarkably handsy ever since you began to show and you unwittingly loved it, even now, in the throes of labor.

“Ugh, Sam!” You grabbed his wrist in a moment of frenzied pain.

“I’m here, baby! I got you, it’s OK.” Sam burrowed his nose into your neck in consolation, and you were beyond glad he had decided to join you in the backseat, despite the tight quarters.

As the blur of buildings and trees whizzed by, your contractions intensified in both strength and frequency. “This hurts more than that time I got shot,” you groaned miserably.

Sam laughed but continued to offer gentle susurrations in his low, soothing tone, lips grazing along the shell of your ear, whilst his doting, reverent fingers brushed the hair away from your face before travelling downwards to work their magic along the base of your spine.

Although Dean tried to grant the two (soon to be four) of you some privacy, he was still able to hear every whisper of love and encouragement Sam uttered your way. He knew that there was nearly nothing his brother hated more in this world than to see you in pain and figured Sam had been doing a pretty awesome job so far, considering. And you, of course - as proven countless times before - had the pain tolerance of an indie wrestler, and Dean had never been more aware of or impressed by the fact than right now.

On this, your boyfriend agreed wholeheartedly. “Breathe, baby. You’re doing so good,” he commended with pride as you huffed through yet another massive cramp, your hands laid protectively across your distended belly.

But something didn’t feel right. Your contractions were growing closer together at an alarming rate, though no one cared to vocalize it, and although you were tempted to pull your usual shit of swallowing your discomfort in silence, you reminded yourself that this time it was about more than just you.

“Ohhh,” you finally let yourself moan aloud, “Sam, I think you might have to check me.”

“Check you?” Dean asked from the driver’s seat; his voice was a little higher than usual.

“To see how far she’s dilated,” Sam replied for you. “Baby, I can’t do that unless Dean pulls over. Do you think we should stop the car? Tell me what you’re feeling.”

“Mmm, I don’t know,” you rasped, “There’s just a lot of pressure and it feels like there’s no break between the contractions anymore.” The string of words left you panting, and you leaned further back into Sam’s embrace.

“What’s the sitch, guys? We stopping the car or should I keep driving?” Dean questioned as he turned his classic rock down a little lower.

“Keep driving,” you confirmed weakly.

Dean complied but made a point to meet Sam’s eyes in the rear-view mirror. They shared a brief moment of wordless, brotherly communication, after which Sam nodded resolutely, his jaw set and eyes ablaze with a mixture of fear and rigid determination.

As the tension in the car mounted, however, the tension in your body seemed to fade. You felt awful for becoming so depleted this early into your labor. You hadn’t even given birth to one of the twins yet, and already you were feeling drained. How could you possibly carry on this way? But all these thoughts quickly disappeared when the weariness became too much.

“Y/N?” Sam looked down at you with furrowed brows. He could feel your body growing limp within his arms.

“Sammy, I don’t feel so good,” you whispered hoarsely. Dean would have thought this was a very normal thing to say during labor, but the change of tone in your voice alerted him to something more.

Sam too, was immediately alert. He scanned your form and noticed two terrifying things right away: first, there was blood on your pants and second, your eyelids seemed to be drooping involuntarily.

“Y/N? Baby, stay with me,” he pleaded as he gave your shoulders a light shake, “Come on, wake up Y/N!” But the darkness was beginning to take over, and you could no longer respond.

“Dean, she’s bleeding,” Sam spoke as an urgent aside, his heart pounding wildly inside his chest.

Dean could tell his brother was beginning to panic, just as he always did when your well-being was on the line, and he knew he needed to remain calm for Sam. “What? OK, just hold on, Y/N/N! We’re almost there.” Dean’s lead foot pushed even harder against the gas pedal.

Behind him, Sam held you tightly in his arms, filling your ears with delicate murmurs of reassurance, desperate for you to wake up. “Come on, baby. You promised me. Just hang on a little longer. You’re gonna be OK.” But even as he said this, he saw more blood seep through your pants. “Dean, drive faster!”

About to tell Sam that he was already going thirty over the speed limit, Dean made the wise decision to shut up and simply put the pedal to the metal, his face a mask of absolute focus.

It was only a matter of minutes, during which you drifted in and out of consciousness, before the Impala screeched to a halt in front of the hospital’s emergency entrance. Dean scrambled out of the car at lightning speed and ran around to open the rear, passenger-side door for you.

Likewise, Sam wasted no time lifting you into his arms and bounding out of the car, practically sprinting towards the reception area. It was an impressive feat of strength, even for Sam, but Dean knew his little brother would have moved mountains for you and those babies if he needed to.

A nurse was there to greet Sam upon his frantic and rather rowdy entrance.

“Help! I need help! My wife’s in labor with our twins, and she passed out on the way here! Her water already broke a-and she’s bleeding!”

The two of you had created fake identities when you decided on a hospital birth, concerned about the chances of complications for delivering twins (and big ones at that), and Sam had never been more grateful for the foresight. He had suggested you go with the credentials of husband and wife to make things easier and ensure the hospital would give him all the privileges of a marital status. Fortunately, despite his hysterical state, Sam hadn’t even hesitated when he called you his wife; the word just seemed to roll off his tongue naturally.

Meanwhile, Dean glanced at his beloved car for a moment, its keys left haphazardly in the ignition. There was a slight grimace on his face as he faltered, considering whether he should go park his Baby in a more legal location or let her get towed and head directly to you and his brother. When he looked back towards the ER and saw your head lolling against Sam’s shoulder, he made his decision. Sam needed him, and Dean would be damned if he didn’t fulfill his lifelong job as the solid and unwavering base of support for his baby brother at this pivotal moment.

“We need a stretcher over here!” The nurse hollered out before turning back to Sam, “OK sir, can you tell me when your wife’s water broke?”

Sam blanched for an instant. He couldn’t focus on anything but your unconscious form. “Um… it was before we left, about, I don’t know-“

“About an hour ago,” Dean supplied as he strode up to his brother’s side. “And we noticed the bleeding around fifteen minutes ago.”

Sam nodded appreciatively, his eyes still wide and frenetic. A stretcher suddenly appeared next to him and he reluctantly laid you down on it, opting to grasp for your hand instead. Dean was busy informing the doctors of your situation, but Sam couldn’t hear any of it.

“OK, let’s go!” a male doctor called out. “Get an OR prepped just in case. Tell them we’ve got a female in active labor with twins, possible placental abruption.”

Trotting alongside your stretcher as the hospital staff pushed you down the hall, one of Sam’s large hands still held on firmly to yours while the other wiped the hair away from your face. “Baby, if you can hear me, please just stay strong, OK? Everything’s gonna be alright. I’m right here. I’ll be here the whole time.”

As if you had heard his prayers, your eyelids began to flutter open. Sam nearly collapsed with relief, but he willed his legs to continue pumping, his eyes never leaving your face. He waited as you tilted your head this way and that, trying to make out your new surroundings.

“S-Sam?” Your voice was still feeble, but Sam had never been happier to hear it.

“Oh, thank god! I’m here, baby, I’m here,” he choked out in a sob.

“Where are we?”

“The hospital. Dean got you here in record time. Everything’s gonna be fine.” He repeated. “Just stay awake for me, OK?”

You tried to nod, but you weren’t sure how well it translated since every muscle in your body felt utterly exhausted.

“She’s regained consciousness. Let’s bring her to the delivery room first.”

As soon as you were wheeled in, an oxygen mask materialized before you, and despite your weak protests was promptly attached to your face. Regardless, you barely got the chance to take a few deep breaths before the contractions began to pick up exactly where they left off.

Yet it seemed like an eternity until the urge to push finally and abruptly overcame your body. You gasped, mouth forming a wide “O”, as you felt your first baby descend swiftly through the birth canal.

“What? What is it?!” Sam inquired hurriedly in trepidation.

“She needs to push,” the doctor answered for you. “Alright Y/N, on your next contraction, I want you to put your chin to your chest and bear down for me as hard as you can, you understand?”

Your answer was a resounding growl as you squeezed your eyes shut and gave your first push of many.

Sam never left your side and he never let go of your hand. He could only marvel at your strength as he tried desperately to provide what little physical and moral support he could. He wanted so badly to kiss you but with the mask in the way, his lips could only settle upon your sweaty forehead.

It took hours, but eventually…

“The baby’s out; it’s a boy! Time of birth - 2:37am.”

Sam was granted only a second to rejoice, his iridescent eyes lighting up at the sight and sound of his firstborn entering the cruel world.

“The mother’s hemorrhaging!” a nurse bellowed and Sam instantly paled, his gaze returning at once to your fatigued figure on the bed.

“We need to get the second baby out now! Call the OR, tell them we’ve got an emergency C-section coming in,” the lead doctor commanded in reply.

Sam watched helplessly as the blood drained from your face and your eyes refused to open yet again. “No, no, no! Please, baby. Please don’t do this to me. Stay with me, Y/N. I need you. Our babies need you!” Sam pleaded for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

“Damn it!” he cursed as the tears began to fall. Sam rose to his full height, his hands balled into tight fists as he pumped them erratically through the air. His imposing form might have frightened some of the nurses if they hadn’t seen the look of horror and anguish that engulfed his features, or witnessed his unequivocal love and devotion to you throughout the labor and delivery process.

Sam forced himself to heave deep breathes as he observed the medical professionals bustling about your room, running a hand through his hair in exasperation. “Where’s my baby? At least tell me my baby is alright?” he demanded in a shaky tone to no one in particular.

“Your son is just fine, sir. They’ve taken him to the NICU to get checked up but from what I saw, he’s a big and healthy baby boy,” one of the nurses provided with a cautious smile.

“My son…” Sam breathed, looking back down at your unconscious form, “Our son… Did you hear that, baby? Oh, god!” He wanted to take you in his arms, to simply will the life back into you, but the doctors were swarming around your bed, poking and prodding at your still swollen abdomen.

“Sir, you need to back up and let the doctors do their job.”

Sam’s chest puffed up on instinct and he was about to retort when Dean, who had been watching in vain from afar, was suddenly there to hold him back. His hands gripped Sam’s biceps from behind and he pulled his brother back with all the strength he could muster, but Sam would not budge. Dean had no choice but to come around to Sam’s front and push against his inflated chest with both hands, while eyeing his little brother with a pointed look that told him to listen to the nurse, that there was nothing he could do right now to help you.

When Sam finally relented, he could no longer hold back his sobs. He had never felt so helpless, so useless. Dean managed to pull him into a waiting room before he broke down completely.

“Hey, you listen to me.” Dean’s ‘big brother voice’ was in full effect, “Your girl in there, is one hell of a fighter. We have seen her go through hell and back both with and for you, literally. And I know you’d do the same for her, Sammy. And so does she, alright? So I know for a fact that Y/N is gonna be fighting with everything she’s got to get back to you and your family. Just like she always does. I mean, hey, she’s practically a Winchester, right? And since when have we ever let death get the best of us?”

At his brother’s last point, Sam’s heart jolted in his chest. You really were practically a Winchester. And he’d loved the way it felt being able to call you his wife and being referred to as your husband in return.

The next hour passed at an agonizingly slow rate, with Sam and Dean fidgeting silently in their seats through most it.

“Mr. Windsor?” When the doctor got no response, he tried again, “Family of Y/N Windsor?”

At the sound of your name, Sam vaulted off his chair, realizing he’d nearly missed his calling. Hurtling towards the doctor, Sam almost miscalculated his braking distance. “I’m here! That’s me, I’m her husband!” he burst forth breathlessly.

“Well I’m here to tell you Y/N’s out of surgery. The C-section was a success, and she should be waking up shortly. Oh and congratulations, you have another son.”

“Wait, so she and the babies are OK?” Dean checked from his spot behind Sam.

“Yes, we have no reason to believe she or either of the babies are in any further danger.”

Sam released the largest breath known to mankind. “C-can I see her? Can I see them?”

The doctor sent him a smile and a nod before giving them your room number. Sam was off like a bullet with Dean hot behind his heels, but when they reached your door, the older Winchester elected to stay back a little, wanting to permit your new family some time alone first.

You were just coming to your senses when Sam walked in. Adjusting your bed to a seated position, you looked up to find him staring at you, “Sam?”

“Oh, thank fuck,” he exhaled before falling to his knees at your bedside. “You scared the shit out of me, baby. Please don’t ever do that again.” Sam buried his head in your thigh, so you ran your fingers lovingly through his soft chestnut locks, allowing him a moment of reprieve.

When he raised his head to face you, his eyes were red and cheeks stained with tears. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

You gave him a confused look, “What do you mean? Are the babies OK?”

“Yeah, they’re fine but the doctor said your complications were most likely the result of previous injuries and the fact that you were carrying big babies.”

You huffed a gentle sigh, “Baby, we both knew there was a higher risk associated with a multiple pregnancy. And of course my hunter background wouldn’t be any help. But how is any of that your fault?”

Sam didn’t respond with words; he merely fixed his watery puppy dog gaze upon yours, which just about caused you to break down with him, but you had promised yourself to always denounce this type of behavior. “Sammy, how many times do I have to tell you? I never wanna hear you apologizing for things you can’t control. And I especially never wanna hear you apologize for any part of who you are, because I am so completely and irrevocably in love with that person that it hurts me just the same, do you understand?”

Sam nodded and you wiped the tears from his cheekbones, beckoning him to stand back up, though his head was still pointed down.

“Hey, I’m OK, alright?” You grabbed his hand, waiting until his shoulders visibly relaxed before adding impatiently, “Now when do I get to see my babies? Please tell me I can see them now.”

“Y-yeah, lemme go bring them over.”

You nodded enthusiastically, feeling a surge of energy flow back into your body at the thought of finally meeting your twins. So when Sam returned, wheeling two hospital cribs through the door, you were virtually bouncing with anticipation.

“You were right, baby.” Sam shot you a handsome little smirk.

“What?”

“We’ve got two boys.”

“Really?” You gasped, the emotions finally catching up with you after all the hardships you’d faced in the past twenty-four hours.

“What? No ‘I told you so’?” Sam teased lightly.

But you were much too in awe for that. “No, just… gimme,” you pouted, holding your arms out expectantly.

“You sure?”

“Sam, if you don’t hand me at least one of my babies right now, I swear to Chuck-“

“Alright, alright, no need to bring God into this,” Sam chuckled, sliding your firstborn carefully into your eager and waiting arms.

“Oh my god, he’s perfect.”

“Yeah? So is this little guy,” Sam had picked up the other infant and was beaming fondly down at him.

You spared a glance at them and giggled at the sight.

“What?”

“Nothing, just… he looks so small in your arms.”

Sam’s entire being exuded radiance, “So what are we gonna name them?”

It wasn’t long before you called for Dean and he strolled somewhat nervously into your room.

Cradling his eldest son in his arms, Sam sent his brother a warm and proud smile, “Dean, we’d like you to meet Robert John and…”

“Lucas Dean Winchester,” you finished, gesturing to the baby boy in your arms. “Well, Luke and Robbie for short.”

Dean’s emerald eyes grew wide and a little wet. He looked back and forth between you and Sam as if to confirm what he had heard was true.

You smiled at him, nodding. “You’ve always meant the world to Sam, and if I’m honest, you mean the world to me too. And I am beyond certain that these boys will grow to love you no less than either of us. Besides, none of us would be here if it weren’t for you.”

Dean was quiet for a moment, and you knew he needed to process his emotions.

“That’s awesome,” he said, though you knew he meant ‘thank you’.

“You wanna hold them?” Sam asked, grinning from ear to ear.

Dean grinned back, then looked toward you.

You held back a laugh, “You wanna start with your namesake, don’t you?”

“Hell yeah!” Sam shot him a mini bitch face, “Sorry, I-I mean, heck yeah!”

Snorting, you carefully handed Dean the bundle of blankets in which Lucas Dean was wrapped.

“There’s just one more thing I wanna say,” Sam’s voice brought your attention back to him.

You gave him a curious look and he seemed to almost blush under your gaze, which only confused you further.

“Y/N, I never thought I’d get to have all this, but you’ve made me so unbelievably happy, and I know it shouldn’t matter, but there’s been something ruminating in the back of my mind ever since we got to the hospital- no, actually ever since we made those fake IDs.”

Now you were really lost, eyeing him perplexedly. You looked over to Dean for some help, but he seemed not in the least bit surprised. In fact, he appeared to be perfectly content, paying zero attention to you and his brother and cooing happily at baby Luke as he bounced him in his arms.

“Baby,” Sam continued, “I know you’ve never really wanted or cared about this, and I know we can never make it a hundred percent official, but- Y/N, will you marry me?”

It was a good thing you were no longer holding any babies, because Sam’s question took you completely off guard.

“W-what?” you stammered, staring at him with large eyes.

Sam chuckled and looked down at Robbie, “I think your mom heard me just fine, don’t you, buddy?”

Your mouth stayed open for some time as you tried to absorb it all.

“Any time now, Y/N. Any time,” Dean interrupted without glancing up from Luke.

“Y-yes!” You finally replied.

“Really?” Sam asked again.

“Yeah! Obviously! I mean, who else would I marry but my incredible, brilliant, tall, and gorgeous baby daddy?”

At this point, Sam had passed Dean his oldest son, helping him balance both babies in his arms, before rushing back over to you. He took your face in both hands and kissed you like it was the first and last time. You leaned up to reach him and run your fingers through his shimmering tresses but you refrained from taking the kiss too far, figuring you’d save Dean the torture given all he had just done for your family.

“Well, alright! Two Winchesters coming in, and five going out. Nice work, Sammy!”

You released Sam and sent Dean a bitch face of your own.

“But- I mean, none of this would have been possible without you, Y/N/N,” he quickly amended, “I mean, who could forget that you nearly died bringing these two to the world? What’s that, the third time you’ve cheated Death now? That alone is enough to make you an official Winchester in my books.”

“Well, technically we’re all Windsors in this hospital.”

A/N #2: thank you for reading! ...i’m thinking of turning this into a series of sorts, like a collection of stories about sam and reader’s lives after the twins (because i’ve got iDeAs brewing), would anyone be interested? ❤️ also, here’s a look at some new stuff at lexicolor.redbubble.com:

tagging some peeps who seemed to enjoy part 1 :) @carryonmywaywardbucky @girl-next-door-writes​ @sams-sass​ @swiftlymoniquesblog @austin-winchester67 @idreamofhazel @hoboal87 

[merivrse]

STRAY KIDS SURVIVAL SHOW

☰ lou during the STRAY KIDS survival show part one

TRAINEE SHOWCASE

„Hi! I am Kwon Ahin, JYP trainee of almost 1 year and part of… *chuckles* part of the Boys Project Team.” *laughs* “Why did we call it Boys Project Team if I am here as well?”

“Why are you in the Boys’ team and not the Girls team?”

“I wasn’t put into the Girls team but Chan asked me to be part of his team instead so here I am!” *whispering* “Honestly, I was surprised too!”

entire episode is literally a game of ‘finding lou’

like where tf is she

barely on the screen for like thirty seconds in total and almost twenty of those are during group shots of the performance

it really felt like she didn’t even exist

DORM TOUR

since she still lives together with her dad, she’s doing a self cam in their flat

it’s rather small but still very comfortable

lou joking around with her dad >>

while she packs, he makes her some food and the two eat together

“will you be okay, living by yourself? won’t you be lonely?”

“shouldn’t i ask you whether you’ll be okay living with nine others instead of only one?”

yeah that’s about it

yes she has a Disney suitcase leave her alone, Thumper is cute okay

chooses room 1 just like hyunjin and changbin before her

she doesn’t really care who she rooms with tbh

just accepts her fate of having to room with jisung and jeongin

ngl she’s still a little awkward with them so yeah

maybe she did have a teeny tiny bit of hope inside her that wished felix would come into the room lol

goes to help in the kitchen because she doesn’t want to play the zombie game

ARCADE

she has literally never been in an arcade before

absolutely clueless about what to do

also simply not an athletic person

anywayyy

Chan choses her as a team mate

but they’re playing football first so yeah

she does better than she thought she would

just doesn’t shoot the ball where it’s supposed to land

can’t stop laughing watching the oldest members doing that make-the-shape-with-your-body game thingy

FIRST MISSION – OWN SONG + STAGE

literally likes all the samples Chan plays for them but the first and last one were the best

absolutely amazed by 3racha’s minds lol

struggled with the choreo a little since she isn’t that good of a dancer compared to the others

stays even after the group practice together with Jeongin and Minho because honestly, she probably wouldn’t get it done without the boy’s help

at least she doesn’t have any problems with her lines and vocals so she can fully focus on the performance

it’s so nerve-wrecking standing in front of JYP holy shit

and then he criticizes the female key of the song (he even asked if it was because of her like ???)

ngl her heart sank into her stomach

especially because according to him she was still very much lacking especially performance wise but even her vocals were criticised as well

“There was an obvious reason for you not to be in the female debut team.”

up for elimination with Jeongin, Hyunjin and Minho

MV FOR HELLEVATOR

trying to do her best without letting the directors see her nervousness

sticks to Felix as if her life depended on it

both amazed and scared shitless

SECOND MISSION – UNIT MISSIONS

joins Chan, Seungmin and Hyunjin in their performance

going bowling together

as I said, she isn’t really athletic

and she also wasn’t feeling 100% that day so she looked a little gloomy

“I’ll just pay for the food, since I can’t bowl anyways!”

she still had to play lol

made Chan throw some of her tries to get at least a few points

he threw a strike for her.

he felt betrayed by his own hands

anywayyy

they did their little self-evaluation

lou decide to stay rather quite because she felt she didn’t have the right to say something about the performance of people who had trained way longer than her

she just hoped that the other members would be honest so that they could deliver perfect stages at the end

absolutely nervous to perform in front of JYP again

“Maybe it’s because there wasn’t much choreography but you did surprisingly well.”

“It didn’t feel like much of a compliment…”

and apparently “surprisingly well” doesn’t mean the same as “your performance was good” because she was up for elimination again

didn’t want to believe that Minho was actually eliminated

almost cried ngl but she held back her tears because she didn’t want JYP to see her cry for some reason

but once he was gone and the others also cried, she just couldn’t hold it back anymore

[fairyoftbz]

Retrouvailles | l. hyunjae

💐 pairing: florist!hyunjae x fem!reader  💐 genre: cliché fluff 💐 word count: 2.6k 💐 tw: i think i swore once or twice? 💐 synopsis: you are back in your hometown after living in paris for years with your family and a special encounter won’t make you regret your decision. 💐 requested: yes from kyu! i hope you’ll like it!! 💌 💐 a/n: i am so sorry but i absolutely love writing for florist!au, i promise it’s the last one ! (of this series) constructive feedback is always appreciated!!

╰☆☆☆☆╮

Looking around you as you got off the bus, you scoffed in utter shock as this neighbourhood hadn’t changed at all, even if you left eight years ago. All the shops and cafes remained the same, just two new ones got added to the ones that you always found welcoming and cute.

You got a weird sensations when you came back from school a few years ago, your parents stopping you in the entrance and asking you to follow them in the living room. Your siblings were already there, and they all looked down, your little sister on the verge of crying. You were fourteen at this time, and you had imagined the worst.

“Mom, Dad, what’s happening?” you worriedly asked, trying to catch your older brother’s gaze, but his head remained low, a visible disappointed look on his face. “It’s a bit complicated, sweetie, but Dad found a job in Europe. We are going to receive more money and live more comfortably, but we have to follow him,” your mother tried her best to explain you the situation without hurting you, but it was to no avail. You couldn’t control the tears submerging your eyes and cried uncontrollably, your mother rushing to take you in her arms.

“When are we coming back, Mom? Are we going to keep the house? I don’t want other people to live here,” your mother soothingly rubbed your back, trying to ease your pain, and she nodded. “I don’t know baby, but your grandparents are going to live here, it’s better than the house they currently have,” you pouted as you kept on crying, your mother resting a reassuring hand on the back of your head as she drew you closer, but immediately abandoned her arms as soon as your little sister started crying, rushing to hug her instead.

The move was hard, packing all your stuff had you feeling extremely sad to leave all your memories behind, unsure about the future years. The next day, you bid farewell to all your friends, hugging them tightly as you spent your last day at school trying to find solace in your friends and classmates’ presence before leaving. You cried in your best friend’s arms right in front of your mother’s car, and waved at her until she disappeared from the rear-view mirror.

Paris was a wonderful city, not quite like in the movies, but it was still charming. French was a tough language and you kind of struggled go get yourself understood because the other students didn’t really speak your native language, but with many months that turned into years of trying, you managed to now have a decent level in the language of love.

Despite your passion and admiration for this city, creating landmarks in the surrounding neighbourhoods as well as making friends were not easy tasks. However, with the help of your siblings and your parents, you had managed to make a bunch of friends, and that did you good when you didn’t have to think too much when you were talking since you were conversing in your native language.

Your time is France was amazing, you created great memories with awesome friendships, but you couldn’t help feeling nostalgic sometimes. You missed your neighbourhood, your grandparents, and your other relatives, only being able to see and talk to them via Skype or FaceTime. Years passed, and finally, at 22 years old, you decided to let your family in France, where your siblings had already constructed things with people, and come back where you grew up, where you felt like your heart truly belonged.

The shock on your face had to be very visible since some bystanders threw you a weird look as you stood stoic in the middle of the pavement. Spontaneously walking inside the kiosk that was as old as you remembered it, you warmly greeted the owner, an elderly woman that hadn’t changed a bit. Still the same hunched shoulders, long, white hair secured in a tight bun by a flower pin, her wrinkled smile was still as warm and as wise as you knew it when you were buying sweets from her.

You exchanged a few words with her, giving you a pack of the sweets you used to buy and the prepaid card you asked for. You still had your French number, so it’d cost you a kidney if you ever decided to call your relatives with it. The old woman looked extremely happy and somewhat pleased to see you, because she admitted that she got worried when you suddenly stopped passing by and buy sweets.

“And you decided to come back, how wonderful,” she said with her shaky, warm voice while handing you what you just bought. You smiled at her and nodded, eyes slightly widening when she grabbed your wrist. “If you need anything, my husband and I will be happy to help. I’m glad to see you back by us,” she said, and you felt your heart flutter. It was truly where you belonged. “Thank you, I really appreciate it,” you answered as she winked, wishing you a great day.

The fresh air welcomed you once you got out, feeling it clear your lungs from the slight more polluted air from Paris. You opened the bag of sweets and munched on a few, feeling the memories rushing back in your mind as you started wandering around the neighbourhood. You quickly texted your cousin that you were near their house, but he was probably too busy playing video games or napping, so you decided to go grab something more consistent to eat and wandered around, walking further into different areas.

The beautiful, light colours of a shop window caught your attention, not remembering its existence when you were younger. You got near the window and observed inside, discovering a jungle of beautiful flowers arranged by species. A manly back was working behind the checkout, assembling a bouquet of what seemed to be roses. You were tempted to go inside the shop to know more about this new place, but you quickly hid from the window when the man turned around. His face looked familiar, a tingling sensation appearing in your stomach as you tried to remember him. You knew him from somewhere, you were sure of it, but you just couldn’t put your finger on it.

The young man inside the shop slightly frowned as he saw someone suddenly disappearing from the window, the hems of their long brown coat lingering in his gaze. He slightly shrugged with a smile and petted the cat at his feet, who was demanding cuddles and attention. His hands were occupied with the order he had just finished preparing and he wrapped the flowers in some brown paper craft before placing it in the back office, where all the other orders were ready to get delivered by his co-worker Juyeon. He finished his cup of now cold coffee that was forgotten on the main counter, hearing the bell above the door chime.

Much to his great disappointment, it wasn’t the young lady that vanished before his eyes, it was Juyeon’s mother, who was here to pick up flowers for his sick grandmother. Hyunjae hid his dismay behind a warm smile, quickly pacing back and forth to give her the bouquet and bank her total.

A middle-aged woman walking out of the shop looked at you from the side as you still hid, tugging on your lower lip, rummaging your mind in order to find who this man was. You were getting frustrated as you stomped the floor with your foot, getting tired of your brain playing tricks on you as you were sure that you knew this man.

“Fuck it, I’m going in,” you said as you pushed the door open, the intense smell of flowers and pollen attacking your nostrils. It smelt really nice and welcoming, but your allergies said otherwise. 

You sneezed once, twice, and one last time before you could properly greet the man in front of you. He looked as curious as you were, he must have seen you since you weren’t the best at hiding.

“Welcome to the Butterfly flower shop, how can I help you?” the voice of the man sending a nice wave of chill down your spine, feeling yourself smile at who seemed to be the owner of the shop. “Hello, I’m just going to look around for a while,” you said while gesturing to all the flowers around you, sniffling to try and hold a sneeze in, but it didn’t help at all. It actually did the exact opposite that you had wished.

Hyunjae empathically smiled as you kept on sneezing, trying his best not to vocal how cute you were when the pollen seized your entire nostrils. You apologised profusely, mentally cursing yourself for being so curious. Maybe, just maybe, you should have stayed outside and admire him from afar, you wouldn’t be embarrassing yourself just like you were doing right now. But it was so tempting, you had to take a look. He was nice enough to hand you a pack of tissues, which you gladly took with a nod.

“I’ll be in the back office for a minute, don’t hesitate to ask me if you need any help,” he said with a warm smile and you nodded, holding a tissue to your face. “I appreciate it, thank you,” you answered as you started looking around the shop. All the flowers were beautiful, it was really tempting to just buy one of each without even caring about the prices. Since this was impossible, your eyes landed on some daisies, whose petals looked really nice and healthy. You felt bad to have made your choice just a few seconds after the man left for the back office, so you decided to wait for a bit.

Yet, another bad idea. Your nose felt ticklish, no matter how hard you rubbed your finger under it, it only became worse.

“Hum excuse me?” you politely said, and the man reappeared almost instantly, close to scaring you. His whole face lit up just with a smile, and you felt your heart skip a beat at the sight. Staring at him for a few seconds, mouth slightly agape as you detailed his face, his smile and manners hitting you like a truck.

This man was none other than Hyunjae, the young boy you had a crush on during the late years of middle school, right before you left for France. He grew up so much, yet his facial features had barely changed, they only matured. His smile was the thing that made you fall for him, his personality and physical features not helping the hopeless romantic that you were. You barely talked to him when you were younger, only when you were assigned in groups with him since he always hung out with the athletes and dancers, a group that you were dying to join but never did. Hyunjae was an incredible dancer, always performing for the school team and even outside.

“Ma’am? Are you okay?” you heard his voice bringing you back to reality, feeling embarrassment invading your body as you’ve probably been staring at him for long, way too long to not be weird. “I’m-I’m sorry. Can I have a bouquet of those daisies over there, please?” you asked, and he nodded. “Sure thing,” walking around the counter, you followed him to the said daisies, the man gathering a good portion of his stock. Your eyes widened a bit but didn’t dare to say anything, only to follow him back to the counter.

“Are you from here? My usual customers are my acquaintances or the people living in the neighbourhood,” his voice trailed as he arranged the flowers, briefly looking at you with a smile before busying his hands in the plants again. “I was actually born and raised here, but I had to follow my father abroad for his job,” you said while delicately touching the petals of a peony right next to your head. Hyunjae’s hands stopped, and he looked up, eyes going wide. “You are from here? Where in the neighbourhood?” “I grew up in the house right at the corner of the street, the beige one with the burgundy wooden shutters and the garden.” “Hold on. Y/N?” his voice sounded so light-hearted as his eyebrows raised in shock. It was his turn to look at you with a surprised look on his face, his mouth stretching in a wide smile.

You offered him a smile and you fell in a comfortable silence. Thousands of questions were trotting in your head, dying to ask the other, but you were both trying to find a topic that didn’t sound too curious and invading. And it was hard because you both became suddenly very shy, your attention focusing on the flowers. It was normal for you, but Hyunjae wasn’t the type of guy to get intimidated this easily.

“So-” you both said at the same time and chuckled together, the florist gesturing you to go first. “No, no, go ahead.” “So you decided to finally come back? I understand if you missed this town, I would too,” he said and you smiled, approving his words. “I was too tired from France, plus I missed my family that stayed here. I just wanted to pay them a visit and maybe stay over until I find another place to stay on my own,” you explained while observing your former crush wrapping the flowers you had chosen. 

He secured them in the same crafted paper he did for the previous bouquet, placing it on the counter closer to you. Handing him your credit card, you stayed with your hand hanging in the void, Hyunjae typing something on the cash register. He religiously ignored your card and handed you the bouquet, giving you the brightest smile he could.

“Take this as a gift to welcome you back in town,” he said and your eyes widened, hand slowly moving away. “I can’t accept this,” you said, suddenly feeling nervous. Hyunjae encouraged you to take the flowers by placing them right under your nose with a smirk, tickling your nose. “Please do. Welcome back in town, Y/N,” he said as he noticed some fallen petals stuck on his dark green apron, wiping them away before offering you a smile. 

You took the flowers away from your face and sheepishly smiled, thanking him for his generosity.

“Thank you, really,” you said with a shy voice, struggling to look at him in the eyes. He shook his head, indicating you that it was nothing, and he cleared the counter. “Have a lovely day, Hyunjae. It was good to meet you again,” you said as you walked to the door, hand on the knob. “Wait Y/N- would you like to get some coffee sometimes? I’d love to hear about your time in France and… get to know you a bit better and make up for lost time?” His offer wasn’t something you had expected, but who were you to refuse getting closer to your former crush. 

This random encounter with him had your heart fluttering like it did when you watched him perform in front of the entire school a few years ago, when you were still a young teenager hopelessly in love. It was hammering in your chest, warmth travelling in your entire body as a radiant smile appeared on your face.

“I’d love to.” You said with a smile as you walked back to the counter, only to take the business card he was handing you. Your eyes landed on the black ink scratching the phone numbers, only to find another one messily written at the top of the small card. You thanked him and walked through the front door, waving at him with a smile as you walked away, clutching the piece of paper tightly in your palm, excited of what this reunion was going to offer you.

__

╰☆☆ Les retrouvailles nous font rappeler de vieilles histoires, mais elles consentent également à en créer de nouvelles. ☆☆╮