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#and i mean. life USED to be simple
stalkiwi · 7 months
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Wym '' life used to be simple'' are you okay???
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nah. life sucks bro. those moving png on my screen are all that keeps me alive. dont fall at my level. 'tis my last advice
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foxx-queen · 1 year
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thinking about the way shadowheart, lae'zel and minthara deal with breaking away from a god/god-like figure they've dedicated their lives to. shadowheart immediately latches onto rescuing her parents as her new 'mission'. lae'zel immediately dedicates herself to freeing orpheus with the vigor she served vlaakith. minthara fixates on obtaining the power to make sure she's never controlled again.
its like. breaking away from gods/god-like figures leaves a void to fill. they're trying to fill it, and trying to choose what they fill it with. and they know that's what they're doing, in some ways, maybe to avoid the enormity of what it means to have broken away. maybe to avoid working out what they'll do as individuals. shadowheart doesnt know her parents, and they dont know her anymore, but she has to save them. you can ask lae'zel why she won't focus on herself, and she acknowledges there's no time for that. not yet. minthara wants you to use the power of the brain, but has dialogue/approval when you speak to ravenguard and she realizes hes still in there beneath the tadpoles influence, just like she was.
'my deference to him is a habit that will die hard, i fear'. minthara still calls the elder brain the absolute, even after she knows the truth. lae'zel still calls out to vlaakith in battle. shadowheart still wears the symbol of shar in her hair after dyeing it. indoctrination/ingrained beliefs are hard to break.
they've broken away from what was controlling their lives. they're free. they've lost everything. shadowheart can save her parents and but will always have that mark. lae'zel has been declared a traitor and will be hunted until vlaakith is overthrown. minthara can never go home, and would be executed if she tried.
they've broken away. they've lost everything. they're struggling with what that means. they're free. they wouldn't have it any other way.
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dyketubbo · 9 months
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i remember seeing someone call tubbo a fully grown adult at 19 (obvs before he turned 20) and i gotta say. i think maybe some people have a really skewed idea of what constitutes as "fully grown". and also what constitutes as properly mature. thinking that at 18/19 (or hell even at 20/21) people are now fully grown and mature is insane to me like yall thats how you get people thinking their life is over at like 23 and that 30 year olds are senior citizens 😭😭 be fr
#this is a problem no matter where you look but i think a lot of ppl in the mcyt fandom esp seem to think once youre-#-considered an adult at all that it automatically means youre fully grown and mature and thats just nooottt really true for most ppl#which i think can lead people down to sort of dangerous paths especially because 'adult' is often defined by age of consent#and theres also some slight cultural differences like even just between the us and the uk where due to 18yr olds being able to drink in-#-the uk (and other places) i think it genuinely causes some dissonance#where i see often in the us that when youre 18/19 youre still treated (id say rightfully) as being rather young and not Truly a grown adult#hence. yk. the term Young Adult#but i think in places where the drinking age is younger it starts causing people to see younger people as more mature#which is also why a lot of predators like to push for the age of consent to be at a younger age like 15 or 16#and why many lolicons try to point at japans age of consent (which for the record is complicated and not as simple as just 'age of consent-#-is 13') as a defense for how they act#because these sorts of milestones (having sex and drinking) are seen as marks of a true adult. which gets into a whole lot of other#complicated things#and often dangerous things and ways of thinking#ANYWAYS . basically 18/19 isnt fully grown 20 is also hardly fully grown itself#and theres ways to combat people infantilizing tubbo and other creators his age without acting like hes actually#fully grown and mature lol. i promise you humans are not fully grown at 20 years old are you kidding me 😭😭😭😭#if youre in your 20s you still have a lot of time and space to grow i promise. do not fall for the idea that your life is done by like 23#idk. im only 18 myself but it just feels insane to me that if i were a creator people would be calling me a fully grown adult#not that im not an adult but i dont think im mature enough to be seen as fully grown and i guess itssss. sad?#to see other people my age think that turning 18 means youre fully grown. just really not true#theres a lot of 30 year olds who still see early 20yr olds as being practically babies we have Not made it to full maturity yet i prommy#mask mews
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justarandomlambblog · 4 months
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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 [END]
The second shackle comes off
Get adopted and feel loved, mangey cat
We're gonna pretend I didn't give Heket the wrong shaped crown aight? aught 👍
(explanation beneath the cut bc I didn't want dialogue)
The harvest comes. Narinder can't help but notice how sad the wheat fields are, the wheat growing small and patchy at best. He remembers how Heket would make the wheat fields flourish just by walking between the stalks. The memory of the fields she would create early in their godhood makes him feel somber, realizing now what the cost of being a godless land is; their entire lives are left to the limitations of the earth, without any god to help them thrive. These people are making the best of what they have, and they're happy even though it's not a lot.
Narinder notices some are harvesting wheat while others till the earth once it's been harvested, and the old dog explains that once this wheat is harvested they plant "winter wheat", which can be harvested in the spring before they plant their summer wheat. They till and fertilize the earth before planting the winter wheat, of course. Narinder tries his hand at harvesting the wheat, and the old dog begins to teach him how to use the sickle. Time passes.
Over the late summer, autumn and winter, Narinder learns how to live this provincial, modest life. He tills the fields with the other villagers, he sees feral beasts for the first time in over a thousand years, learns to collect eggs from said feral beasts, learns how and decides he doesn't like to collect milk (the godless lands have more feral beasts than the Lands of the Old Faith ever did), has finally regained enough strength to draw water from the village well without help, learns to bake bread (with great amounts of help so as to not waste the precious resources with the inevitable first fifty failures), and attends his first lantern festival. All in all, this marks his approach to his second year here, most of his first year spent indoors recovering. (His fur is also getting long, something something new me new hair something (totally not an excuse for me to draw hair))
At his first lantern festival, Narinder decides to partake in what is usually a coming of age tradition for the village; he gets an ear piercing, choosing a symbol that will essentially act as his written name. He chooses a symbol that is a crescent moon inside of a sun, thinking of Aym and Baal when he sees it. (Note: He is not scared/nervous about the ear piercing, he isn't bothered by a literal pinprick of pain, but the fact that someone he barely knows is this close with a needle is what worries him)
Later on, days or even weeks later, the old dog gives him a chain with their individual symbols on it, with a loose chain hanging from the other side of Narinder's sun-and-moon charm. Narinder questions this and the old dog explains the symbolism behind the charms; two charms with a chain extending between them indicates marriage/partnership, and two charms with another charm on the chain between them indicates that couple's child/children. The one Narinder has is the latter, with the second parent's charm missing, indicating that the old dog views Narinder as his own son, now. It takes a moment, but Narinder realizes all at once that this is the old dog's way of extending an invitation to become family- and it's been so long since Narinder had a family... (And yes, the old dog is fully aware that this cat is thousands of years old (Narinder was very vocal about this in the first weeks before he eventually stopped bringing it up), but that won't stop him from deciding he's gonna be this abandoned, fallen god's new family)
Narinder goes to sleep, and finds that despite everything- despite how simple and quaint and, frankly, not easy life in this little godless village is, he's happy. He has none of the luxuries that he had as a Bishop; no worship, no reverence, no servants, no silks or satins or veils or anything of the sort. Here he's just... one of the people. Just another face in the crowd. And he's happy. Happier than he's been in a long time. Unfortunately for Narinder, he is failing to realize that this godless village is a little less godless every day he's there. But that's not necessarily a bad thing.
The village wakes up to their fields flourishing like they never have before. The wheat is taller than the tallest villager, and no one is really sure what to do about this, but there is excitement throughout the village. Narinder thinks of Heket again, reminded once more how she would make the fields come alive. The shackle on his left hand opens up before dispersing into light, and he remembers the way she looked at him in the days leading up to his imprisonment, the quiet and somber warnings she would give him. He takes a moment to grieve before turning his attention back to the present, back to the family he's creating now.
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set out to create a serious, canonesque drawing with which to say "feel free to go in my lackadaisy tag and help me mystery speculate" but only got going when i made it bowling and the rarepair agenda
#not that i imagine anything w/mordecai's Rare so much as: diluted range of possibilities lol. probably someones on that mordecai/virgil life#when it turns out it takes several tries to start to get more solid footing at drawing characters for the first time: What The?????#i actually don't think i ever tried drawing lackadaisy before; against all odds....if i had i would've had a head start lol#lackadaisy#corned beef#any collectively used pairing name here? mordenico? nicodecai? in absence of otherwise Knowing:#nicodeme savoy#mordecai heller#me in '07 going oh my GOD this ART!!!! me in '23 going oh my GOD this ART!!!! & guess how i've always felt years in between#goddd perusing the gallery bonus art afresh recently just like WOWWW i'm SOOO#the collages of full-body drawings for book purchases i think like my GOD i love to see it. plus that the Extra Stuff gallery means there's#such a variety like. stuff that's clearly noncanon; stuff that could be / kinda is; jokes; portraits; story / characters insight....waaughh#also shoutout to everyone behind all the mordecais in KS Backer Art 1 & 2 like ''sexy mordecai please'' apparently lmao. hell yeah#anyways my Marigold Bowling Team headcanons are simple and straightforward: nicodeme w/the muscle can get a strike from the force of having#hit one pin that smashes into all the others; but don't underestimate his versatility. mordecai with the precision / method & absolutely#who you want trying to hit the only pin left on the lane. serafine's got like serpentine curveballs changing velocity halfway down the lane#and they've All got pointing a gun at the people setting pins / returning balls b/c that wasn't automated back in the twenties#back when everyone had customized printed tees....oh fun fact. a real live kitty cat crinkled that first pic's paper by jumping on it#or really; ricocheting off of it. classic#also the ''i want people to seriously consider nicodeme/mordecai. but also sillily'' purposes have me using Close Contact as a shorthand#it's earnest and can sure be [longhand] too but you go ''You Could Never HC Datingly Affection ft. An Always Touch Averse Character'' & i?#well i scoff derisively and slowly swivel my chair around to face you; arms crossed; smhing....hah. how greatly you underestimate my power.#you're throwing [hcs for a romance ft. an autistic character] & [that ft. an asexual character] & i'm grabbing them midair & Sips Them#ha ha why these replenish my health And experience bars....#Never Be Afraid To Forget To Draw Mordecai's Glasses Or That You Also Put Your Thumb In A Bowling Ball....he's warming up. or w/e.#nicodeme w/the boxing experience shoulders massage trope. giving that pep talk#or you can go ''get a strike or we kill you'' b/c you never have to find out if he's joking or not#mordecai unfazed b/c that's the stakes in this business (bowling) & he's autistic so always having to ignore Everyone being weird/confusing#haven't come up with a lackadaisy's team bowling pun name lol.#still feel free to go in my lackadaisy tag and help me brainstorm mitzi n mordecai's murder mystery ;w; enrichment
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skeletalheartattack · 3 months
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...am I just losing my mind or did yer icon become evil? I don't remember that BeAst behind Boe
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yuuuump always been behind me
#ask#anon#pazuzu's just been there since the beginning#mainly because my avatar use to be of 2D in front of the d-sides album cover. or atleast one of the covers#and i had a lot of transparent edits of 2D over that cover#but when i had Boe made. i put him over it instead and i just kinda kept it like that cause i thought the colours together were really nice#as for the blurry swirls. i just like doing simple effects in paintdotnet#i don't really imagine them as much besides the blurriness of the minds eye. like this is how you'd see the inside of my brain maybe.#or not really my brain. boes minds eye maybe.#i don't know if i have a ''lore explanation'' for pazuzu in Boe's life in limbo/hell#or specifically in relation to Boe i mean#i'd still like to actually visualize what limbo looks like. or specifically the area in limbo in which Boe lives#which is just an old manor in the middle of nowhere. with old computer crts and keyboards in the mud of his back yard#dark purplish skies with maybe blueish roaming fields with no horizon#i do have a map file of me trying to create what i imagine to be Boes house but i've only blocked out his porch#i've got a loose idea of what the layout of his house's interior is like but nothing solid honestly#the reason he lives in an old manor is due to mystery case files: ravenhearst. inspiration-wise#use to play that growing up from bigfishgames. fucking love the look of that manor and the intense mess that resides within#i think i also think about the Gorillaz' o green world phase where they had kong studio's absolutely trashed with junk and shit#did actually buy MCF Ravenhearst the other day actually. specifically for higher res ref images of rooms#played a little of it the other day but i was so tired for most of that day so i didnt play for long#anyway. thank you for the ask anon :) yeah he's always been there. pazuzu kinda just blends into the background i think
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year
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I think as we grow up, we have to be really conscious of romanticizing the world we grew up in in order to scorn how the next generations are growing up.
Nostalgia isn't inherently bad, but especially in political spaces, be very wary of this idea that there is an Ideal Past we must Harken Back To.
It sucks to feel left behind, but such is the human condition. It isn't bad to feel nostalgic, but that doesn't mean that these new generations are inherently "lost" and "need to be saved (by you)", and I think that is very important to remember and try to be conscious of.
#politics#'the world you grew up in no longer exists' frankly... GOOD!#the world i personally grew up in was scary and lonely and traumatizing. no kid today should STILL be growing up like that#the whole 'nostalgia as a poltical means' is rooted in this idea that...#1) we all grew up in a hegemony 2) we all turned out the same 3) the way we grew up had more privileges afforded to us#and i personally like nostalgia! i like watching videocamera videos from 2005 and looking up super specific shit#but nostalgia does not a good world make#INSERT UMBERTO ECO'S FOURTEEN POINTS ON FASCISM#(though i don't always think nostalgia can lead to this in a political sense there is a fine line)#be very mindful of what motivates nostalgiaposting#is it because people miss childhood and how 'simple' it felt? or is there a different reason that motivates this type of posting?#are you romanticizing childhood to the point you are not remembering your childhood /at all/ but the *idea* of it?#and honestly it is SO jarring when my peers are nostalgic because it's like... we aren't even that old!!#it comes across like... the world is hard and it's getting harder and so we cannot chnage and must wistfully think of the past...#...and to me it comes across as almost... doomerist in how end-stage feelings of nostalgia and hopelessness seen#i feel compassion for the impulse to feel like your old life is over and you need to grieve it...#...but certainly that isn't the younger generations fault? especially because WE are now the ones rasing them and we still yet live#(even at our completely decrepit age of not even close to a mid-life crisis (sarcasm and lighthearted))
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They believe you’re the Herald because they need to. Without that hope, all that’s left is despair. We’re both bound by duty. Our lives aren’t ours to live. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.
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post-s11 Tami definitely gets tired of Lip and leaves him.
yes, I do like them as a couple, I think it is an interesting dynamic and that Tami is good for him honestly, even though they lived completely different lives and crash so many times because of it throughout the last seasons.
fact is Lip won't ever change and will keep making the same kind of mistakes and she will get fed up with it eventually. they'll go different ways, maybe keep a somewhat friendly relationship, and she will get a new partner and Lip will have a Sean kind of relationship with Fred: that kid is the most important thing in his whole life and he's constantly hunted by the fear of drinking again and hurting Fred.
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leonkennedyaoi · 1 year
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im having so much fun
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crimson-nail · 1 year
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sorry but i will just never understand people who read the ending of trimax as bleak
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hussyknee · 8 months
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I need to really focus on figuring out what's wrong with me and unfucking myself instead of burying myself in humanitarian crises and novels. Whenever I'm really struggling to get through the most basic tasks, I keep thinking it's because I'm not pushing myself harder, rather than the fact that something is clearly critically wrong. Even after all this time, disabling myself more and more trying to push myself past breaking point, my knee-jerk response is to feel like I'm failing everyone around me, instead of having the self-compassion to realize I really, really need help. And I know that it's because there never seemed to be any point begging for help, knowing I'd be ignored at best and punished for it at worst. Maybe I avoid thinking about it because it breaks my own heart when I do. I can't figure out if that's self-compassion or self-pity.
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piplupod · 1 month
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prayer circle over on this blog too that i receive a copy of pkmn sunmoon today..... it is literally the one thing i Really Want on the small gift idea list i made at the behest of my mother..... 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
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bmpmp3 · 1 month
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passes away forever
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heich0e · 2 months
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i recently smelled diptyque’s eau rose and it smelled SOOOOO GOOD!!!! so if u ever have a chance to sniff it i highly recommend.
bit of liv lore: when my grandfather died there was a lot of family drama and my uppity uncle swooped into the little town where my grandfather lived and tried to totally take over the funeral arrangements, even though he was largely estranged from the family and spent no time caring for his father during the prolonged illness at the end of his life. he invited a lot of his business associates/friends to come to the funeral, and in a weird show of wealth (or possibly his way of grieving) he shipped in thousands of dollars worth of flowers for this tiny, humble little countryside church and the reception hall, to the point that everything smelled so strongly of roses it was almost nauseating. i felt like it was stuck to me by the end of everything. to this day the scent of roses sometimes makes me feel sick.
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qqqqqqqqqqq0 · 3 months
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i've been having some trouble falling asleep lately
#art#i'll be yapping in the tags#its not that im depressed or anything. it is the opposite actually#ive been using this medicine for quite some time. and it made all my negative emotions disappear#“oh wow huh but isnt it great you don't feel bad anymore”. this is the same thing my psychiatrist told me when we were discussing this topic#in hindsight it was kinda silly of her to say. i can't believe i pay a ridiculous amount of money per session just to hear shit like that#but she's cute and im a pathetic homosexual who'll seethe at the sight of other specialists like a beaten dog so I will let it slide i guess#we see each other twice a year anyway and all i need from her is the prescription for happy pills. anyway the happypillen#i would fight god if it means i can use stertraline for the rest of my life. thanks to it i can and i do live#but I don't really feel like myself anymore. do you get what i mean#the things that have been giving me anxiety attacks or flashbacks not so long ago? i feel almost nothing about it at this momet#it still haunts me to this day but the intensity of my feelings and emotions does not reach even 1/5 of what it was before#i do not want to disclose more specific topics so i will use a simple example. i used to be afraid of dogs#the fear was so severe that the mere sight of the tiniest little barfing creature was enough for me to freeze#now i can pass one without any problem. the fear i feel today is nothing more than a shadow of bygone times (something i do out of habit)#but i guess this example is not objective enough since my close irl friend has a dog that i became fond of#im still pretty sure this dog of her is capable of biting my ass off if necessary but im not afraid of it#because fear is not an option in this brain of mine at this moment#i don't feel any anxiety sadness or anger anymore. even if something close to it begins to rise in me it shuns down within a few minutes#i can't even cry. i am craving emotions that i was so eagerly trying to dispose of back then#i feel the most mentally stable I have ever been and at the same time i feel pretty much dead.#perhaps i just got used to the fact that sorrow accompanied me for a very long time and i should learn to live without it#perhaps sorrow is just as important as happiness and its absence is a mere side effect of the happy pills#and i have to put up with it in order to have a functional brain#perhaps we people are never happy with what we have in our hands. also i hate drawing#one's can tell since the picture i attached is raw as fuck#but even despite my praised mental stability if i were to stay alone with it even for a minute longer i would go insane#next time i will draw something lighter and cuter. like my favorite kpop boy or fortnite. maybe in the next century#thanks for coming to my tedtalk. bye#i made a typo in the word “sertraline” but im too lazy to fix it i would fight god for you but i will not do this im sorry zoloft
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