#and i was using that old self insert instead and it was just... nicer

[cherrylight]

hey question: if i go back to an old self insert, like one that was sort of the key reason i started this blog in the first place, would that be okay...

i ask because i cannot for the life of me use any self insert excitedly or anything, but with this old s/i i can! because she's so fun and she makes me so happy and i get excited, and then i think of selfship stuff with her and i get even MORE HAPPY wahhh i miss her >_<

[finniestoncrane]

Nick Valentine x GN!Reader, word count: 1.4k hi hello i had to write this because i'm going insane about him. he might be my self-insert's father figure, but i've got daddy issues, so welcome to that nightmare. just some pleasure-dom nick having the tables turned on him, with reader treating him to a little bit of pleasure geared towards his... well, gears 🚬 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: electrostimulation, thigh riding/grinding, sort of implied that reader has a vagina in that they get him wet but that could be precum kjhkjhasd

Nick tapped the cigarette against the ashtray on his desk, his degloved hand, all metal and hinges, clutching the burning embers, determined to get one last draw out of it. But it dwindled before his bright, yellow eyes, and instead he stubbed it out with a sigh, looking to the clock on top of the filing cabinet. Still plenty of time left in the day. Only six, that was barely the evening.

There was always time for one more case. Always room to squeeze in more work. And though the in tray was empty, he could still go out and sniff out a new case to work on. So he stood up from the desk, refreshed determination, and reached for his trench coat, which wasn't in its usual place. Quickly frustrated, he called out.

"Ellie? Ellie! Where's my coat? Have you seen it?"

From the front of the room, entering silently and unnoticed as Nick kept lifting piles of old paperwork in a futile search for his jacket, you watched him.

"I sent Ellie home, Nick. Work's over for the day."

He turned to you, ready to chastise you for telling him when his business could be open, but he was stopped by the vision before him.

Leaning against the wall, you smiled to him, chewing on your lip to stop the grin spreading too much and ruining your blasé, sultry attitude. He wasn't going to find his coat, because you were wearing it. The top buttons were undone, exposing a lot more chest than he was used to seeing on you, but the others were fastened, concealing your body from him, and the susprise you had for him below it.

"I see the case of the missing coat has been solved then."

"Hm, I guess so. But there's always the mystery of what's underneath."

Nick sat back down at his desk, lighting another cigarette once he was settled in his chair. He took one long draw and looked up at you past the brim of his hat.

"You got any clues for me then, sweetheart?"

Your fingers teased over one of the buttons, slowly undoing it, letting the lapels fall a little further apart.

"How's that?"

"I think I might need a little more."

Another button, undone slower than the last, his patience wearing as his lust built up.

"Any closer, detective?"

"How about you give an old man a break and just show me?"

Quickly undoing the last of the buttons, you let the coat fall open, exposing your body clad in intricate lingerie. Torn and frayed a little, here and there, but nicer than anything he'd seen in a long time.

You walked over to the desk, one foot in front of the other, taking your time on the journey and relishing the way his eyes took you in, the bright yellow light rising from your toes to your head. His mouth opened, and his cigarette fell out, stubbing itself in the ashtray, the smoke rising up to frame you as you perched on the edge of the desk. Leaning across, you picked up his cigarette and placed it back in his mouth, lifting the lighter and flicking it, watching the dulled embers spark back to life as he took another draw.

When he was close to the end, you walked around the desk and settled yourself on one of his thighs, waiting for him to stub out the butt before you caressed his cheek, fingers teasing at the exposed hinge of his jaw.

"I have another little surprise for you."

Your hand slipped into the pocket of his coat, producing a set of jumper cables as you kicked a little makeshift battery out from under the desk. Nick looked at you quizzically, but with a hint of excitement.

"It's your turn. I thought it might be nice to see you get a little kick for a change."

Sliding down from the desk, you perched on one of his thighs, your body tingling with arousal as his hands moved protectively around your hips to keep you steady. With a grateful smile, you reached up and removed his hat, setting it down on the desk, free hand caressing his cheek as you took in his features without the shadow of the brim.

"What are you waiting for then, doll?"

His sly grin had your heart pounding as your fingers made their way to his tie, loosening it and letting it hang around his neck as you turned your attention to this buttons of his shirt. You opened each one slowly, deftly, letting your fingertips glide over the soft, synthetic texture of his chest. Completely smooth, but you could work with that.

Pinching a bit of his skin away from his exoskeleton, you clamped one end of the jumper cable to it, the other attached to the battery. And then you did the same on the other side of his chest, a second makeshift nipple to attach your tools too. Two jumper cables, both ready to go. You lifted the battery up, your thumb hovering over the power switch on the side.

"You ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

Pushing down, you let the small jolt of electricity pass through him, his body insulated, saving you from the majority of the shockwave but still enough electricity tingling over him that you felt the benefit yourself.

Nick's jaw loosened, the tattered remnants of his neck trembling as he twitched with pleasure. It was as close to arousal as he would ever experience, each fresh spark another wave that crashed over him, a pulse of excitement. And it was only heightened by the way your eyes sparkled back as you looked into his, the yellow light reflecting in your pupils, the way that it dimmed and brightened as the electricity coursed through him.

The excitement wasn't lost on your either. Soft, sharp throbs of arousal, jolts of joy from each little push of the button had you on edge, skin hot and prickled. In an act so desperate it made you blush, you could feel yourself beginning to roll your hips, aching for some friction against your heat, needing to feel yourself on Nick as you rode his thigh.

As he felt your body pushing down onto him, satisfying yourself, using him to get off, he groaned softly. The sound rumbled in his throat, a slight hitch to it as another round of shockwaves travelled through his wires.

Flicking the battery off, you settled once again into your rhythm, grinding your body into him, rutting forwards and backwards along his thigh, unable to really control yourself. It felt good just to feel him, to fuck yourself on him as you watched him revel in the effects of your stimulation.

"You're having fun, aren't you?"

You couldn't tell if it was playful teasing, given how obvious your arousal was, or if Nick was genuinely worried that this was only enjoyable for him. You reasoned that it was probably a bit of both. He was used to giving pleasure, not necessarily receiving it. He liked for you to be the focus, the one that the attention was on. It felt strange for him to have you in power, to let you do all the hard work. So you took one of his hands, shifting your body down his thigh a little and placing his palm where you had been grinding against him.

"You're the detective, Nick. Figure it out..."

He felt the sensation of damp against the fabric, your slick coating his thigh.

"I don't have a change of pants with me, missy."

"Well, you'll just have to think of a good excuse if anyone asks what that stain is, Valentine."

His fingertips were cool against your cheek, the exposed metal tingling against your skin as he stroked it softly. The bright yellow light of his eyes was difficult to look into for too long, but you accepted the strain just to keep the connection there, only looking down when he pressed his forehead to yours.

"Ok... as long as you're having fun then... you could try increasing the voltage this time."

Looking back up at him, you blushed as he winked, an immediate and renewed warmth spreading over you once more.

"Yes, Mr Valentine."

[ms-demeanor]

While I appreciate that you want a person to live, have you considered that you are just another person who has refused them help? Sometimes it doesn’t get better. For how many years, and from how many people, is a person supposed to be ok with being dehumanized before it is ok for them to throw the towel in?

Telling someone what caliber of gun is most likely to kill them so they can start a savings fund for it isn’t helping; refusing to respond to that with anything other than mental health resources isn’t refusing to help.

But okay we’re going to have the It Gets Better talk.

I am almost thirty four years old. I’ve been getting treated for depression for literally more than half of my life. I have spent even MORE of my life than that kind of wishing that I was dead and occasionally REALLY wishing I was dead and sort of getting off my ass to do something about it. I have the standard CSA/multiple rape survivor Oh No The Trauma backstory and spent the last *nine* years living with an emotionally abusive relative who had recently taken to tracking my activity by filming me in my home.

I kind of hate “it gets better” narratives because you know what, sometimes life is shit and it doesn’t really get all that much better. Sometimes things are bad and the only thing that gets you out of the abuser’s house is the fact that your partner nearly died. Sometimes everything sucks and it sucks for a long time and there’s no end of the suck in sight.

I have friends who are chronically, degeneratively ill. I know “It Gets Better” doesn’t really help them because they aren’t going to get better. They’re going to stay sick, they’re going to keep hurting, and in a lot of cases things are going to get worse.

So “It Gets Better” kind of rubs me the wrong way. I’d like to reframe it.

You get better at dealing with the bullshit.

Sometimes your situation doesn’t improve but how you approach it does. You may be stuck in the same shit but dedicating less mental space to caretaking an abuser’s emotions. You may still be dealing with daily pain but you’ve gotten to know what triggers it and what to avoid. You may be stuck in a miserable, terrifying situation and have a rich and thriving community of fanfic authors you talk to when shit gets to be too heavy.

The people who “it gets better” narratives tend to be really helpful for are young people who don’t have any autonomy who are close to being old enough that they’ll finally get to make some choices about their lives.

It’s harder dealing with feeling trapped as an adult because you can’t generally escape the things that are trapping you by living in a college dorm or getting an apartment with a bunch of roommates or coming out because you may have already done those things OR you may be in a place where those things aren’t possible for you.

So what do you do?

Well, for starters instead of saving up money for the best kind of gun to kill yourself with save up money for something stupid and funny that you like. Save up money for a tattoo, save up money for an arcade-size DDR cabinet and pads, save up money to buy a camera to make a youtube channel of you doing bad cover songs. (And if you don’t have money to save up then take up a free hobby; if you’ve got access to the internet to send me anons about how to kill yourself you’ve got access to the internet to use AO3 and I strongly recommend you start writing self-insert fic where you get to hang out with the cool fictional characters you like because it’s sort of like maladaptive daydreaming but people will stop by and say nice things about it and you feel validated when the numbers go up)

If you *can’t* fix your situation (because you live in a country that doesn’t recognize your gender, because you’re poor and have to live with people who hurt you, because you’ve got such deep and overwhelming anxiety that making the change seems impossible, because you don’t want to abandon someone more vulnerable than you to the bad situation) then do something, ANYTHING, that you and you alone are in charge of. You’re in charge of your bad cover songs youtube channel. You’re in charge of the smiley face tattooed on your ass. You’re in charge of what happens in your totally self-indulgent, fluffy, found family fic.

Find one thing, ONE THING, that allows you to assert your autonomy and everything gets a lot easier from there because A) you’ve got proof you can do something for yourself and B) you’ve now got something to fall back on when you ask yourself “why do I keep going?”

You keep going because you like your gender affirming roleplay group online. You keep going because you want a horrible butterfly tattooed on the other ass cheek. You keep going because you want to see how many kudos the next update gets.

And while you’re doing all of that you’re making a plan.

Let’s not kid ourselves here, suicidal people are GOOD at making plans. Not at keeping them all the time, but good at making them.

So you plan to get out.

You might not *keep* that plan but if you can sit and fantasize about eating a gun so that the pain will stop then you can sit and fantasize about buying a plane ticket or running away or looking for a different doctor so the pain will stop.

Do the little things that you can do. Write fic, go fishing, fold paper cranes, take long walks by yourself, pet a cat, get a tongue piercing, read a book. Do the little things that you can control, that you enjoy, that you do just for you.

And while you’re doing that think about the train you’re going to take to leave, how much nicer the nurses will be at the new doctor, how great it’s going to feel to dress in a way that feels right.

And even if it doesn’t work and you’re stuck living with a shitty abusive harpy who screams you awake and makes you have panic attacks whenever you hear her moving around the house you’ll get better at dealing with the bullshit. You’ll build up a space for you in your head where the bullshit isn’t there.

And then maybe someday the outside matches the inside. Maybe your friend needs a roommate, maybe you get a job that pays better, maybe a new medication is released. You don’t know for sure that it’s going to happen, there’s no guarantee it’ll happen, but at least if it doesn’t happen you’ve carved out a little space for yourself where you can survive.

ALSO

I know that a huge number of suicidal people are suicidal because they feel helpless.

One way to IMMEDIATELY make yourself feel less helpless is to help someone else. Here’s an app where you can give visual assistance to blind and low-vision people: https://www.bemyeyes.com/

The world is shitty and everything sucks and sometimes you can’t make your own situation better, but you can write video and image transcriptions on tumblr and maybe that’ll cheer someone else up.

Anyway, it’s not up to me to say when anybody else has had enough, but I figure you shouldn’t try to kill yourself until you’ve gotten a stegosaurus in an admiral’s hat tattooed on your thigh or something because who knows, that could be the thing that makes you feel better enough to keep going and if you’ve put up with the pain and bullshit this long what do you have to lose by putting up with it a little longer?

[foryouthegays]

techno liveblog w timestamps lets go for ‘a new home (dream SMP)’ stream

good laugh times: 00:13:50, 00:14:55, 1:38:45, ik it doesnt look like a lot but like u should watch the stream anyway bc philzas there and his laugh is amazing and they just go so well together

times techno calls phil his friend: 00:6:00 00:37:00, 00:45:17, 0:1:09:30, 01:11:15, 01:26:35, 01:50:05, 2:35:00

FSDJKFAF;LS HE KEPT THE MUTED INTRO IN JHKADFLS (ends at 00:1:25)

i like how, when faced with Leaving Youtube, techno would choose to be an author. i want a book by techno. reblog this if u want a book by techno (with an audiobook by him as well) /hj. 00:1:33

i love how he says ehhhhhh so much lskjhdfas (abt 2 mins in) 

who the FUCK just remembers that the word fortuitous exists wtf 00:5:17

00:7:45 PHILZA TIME PHILZA TIME LETS GO

00:8:55 tommy time :/

0:14:10 rANBOO JUST WALKS IN, LOOKS AROUN ,AND LEA VE SIM CRYING 

i love how much philza laughs at technos jokes bc pretty much everything he says IS a joke he just says it in such a serious voice that p much everyone else is like,,,yeah,,,,yup,,,,and phil just knows when hes joking and his laugh is so good with technos voice. sbi? whos that? i only know philza and technoblade

00:19:30 ghostbur joins! this is my first time hearin ghostbur btw

00:19:40 haha string axe technos so bad at crafting what a fool /j

00:21:07 ghostbur: “Even I remember how to make a fishing rod!” ghostbur u just MURDERED technoblade oh my god im gonna scream hgjdfksla i love ghostbur so much

00:23:55: GHOSTBUR NO!! DON’T DIE YOU’LL BECOME A DOUBLE GHOST!!!! -technoblade 2020

00:24:55 technoblade neva lies -guys he almost did the technoblade neva dies ahh!!!!!

i havent heard anyone talk about this but techno has a dedicated roleplay voice. like listen to him talk to tommy at 00:25:08. his voice gets more even, he uses names a lot more often (seriously, listen to his theseus speech. he says tommy so often, its incredible.), and his voice gets,,,,deeper? not deeper but smoother, in a way, and he repeats what he says for emphasis instead of humor. and his voice is louder, and he seems more assertive. 

00:27:30 philza: where we goin, by the way? techno: to our- to my new home. 

techno cmon let phil live w u wed get so much more content cmonn

00:28:50 the fact that he calls the manhunt theme “dream music” makes me laugh so hard. and then his version of it,,,,,m love he (also he sings it here and at  01:14:20)

00:35:10 why is ranboo so cryptic im-

why does he just casually know the word sentry wh at i hate him 00:39:45

this is the worst sentence (structurally) ive ever heard techno say im gonna cry 00:49:33 ‘im too busy thinkin of new ideas to sleep so i could actually execute them’ and tubbos *oh?* after is just hdsfgkjlka

LKSJDHFJK 00:51:49

00:54:30

techno: thats one of dreams powers, he can just stop the rain

tubbo, quietly: like jesus!

i love them sm dsfhkjla they kept going but i jus gdfhjksa jesus has op

techno @ being the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans: haha funnie!!

techno @ having fun w religious stuff: i wILL BE CANCELLED NO-

00:58:10 “hey if ur [ghostbur]  a ghost, do instant damage potions heal you now?” “...no,, they hurt me still :(” DSIULZKJHFSLKFJH 

01:04:00 his brother named the cow bob im- aww 

also he has a fanart wall again!!!

01:09:30 “phil, you’re the only friend i have left in this world.” aWWWWW HE GAVE HIM THE COMPASS 

“dont smoke, it’s a joke” -technoblade 01:14:15

ROLEPLAY SPEECH VOICE IS BACK AT 1:16:10 “they pillage my base for everything i’m worth, they use me for the revolution, but oooOOOoo i took a pickaxe with his consent? oOOOooOo i’m a thief!”

holy shit 01:17:15 “you know what, phil? for you, the world, alright? it’s fine.” oH MY GOD HHHHGHG (context, right before they were arguing bc phil took some blocks from his base and techno thought that when he said phil could take anything he meant from the chests)

the COMIDY of that villager coming in and sleeping while techno was readin donos at 01:22:05 RIGHT AFTER phil freaked out abt inturruptin his dono readin im SFDHKJLA:

techno talkin bout the winstreak and how he wont be able to live up to that sort of playin at 01:22:30ish is super important and ill transcribe it tomorrow, but if u can id highly rec watchin it. 

01:24:20 “[readin dono] what’s your favorite movie? uh, the princess bride is pretty good” techno ily that movie rocks also he said it so fast like hes ashamed of it noo

techno says no to canon ranboo son btw! 01:25:30

01:25:55 “i wasnt in that story, therefore it doesnt matter” all of technoblr be like 

01:37:49 is great lemmie transcribe

“how have you still not gotten a second monitor?? holy shit.”

“let me tell you something. and im only telling you this because i know that so many people in the chat are gonna be furious. so i recently realized- i think the second monitor can just be any ol’ monitor, right? you literally just plug it in, and its set up? well i mean you have to turn on some settings, but like, thats it, or something?”

“yeah,,,,, uh techno you fuckin destroyed my chat, by the way, oh my god, [earlier techno told his viewers to twitch prime philza] there has been like 40 primes just flying through”

“yeahhh twitch prime!!! twitch prime philza yeahh!!! so anyways the other day, i like, i looked to my left, and realized that my old monitor has been like, five feet away from where i sit and stream for the last three years?”

“oh my god...”

“so i- i literally do not have to leave my room to set up a second monitor and i havent. and i’m still usin my laptop for this stream.

“is this gonna be one of those situations where you like, you have a thing, you just refuse to do the thing?”

“listen, my desk is-

“yOU STILL HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE!!!”

“AHHHH I HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE! I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY MCC COIN! DUDE I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY ONE MILLION SUBSCRIBER PLAQUE! ITS STILL THERE RIGHT BEHIND ME! ITs sTILL IN THE BOX! i never made a video on it....”

“bruhhhhh [philza laughs] thats FREE VIEWS what are you doing??”

“ill open it at 8 mil :/.”

“you could LITERALLY make a video of you just like, throwing it off a wall, and then thumbing up, like doing a thumbs up, and then that would be it. 10 seconds. ten seconds. thumb and elbow in shot. [laughs]”

techno is such a disaster i love him

01:34:18 the way techno says “tommy, that statement has NEVER been true” i dont like sayin i simp for block men but GOD sometimes his voice is nicer than usual hhhgn

“man i sure wish tommyinnit was in this stream” -nobody ever (just after previous timestamp)

01:40:15 is fuckin hilarious and im actually crying oh my god techno just says things and says them well with a completely straight face how does he do it

i cannot WAIT until theres a president w the last/first name andy so we can say president andy and think abt technoblade

IM CRIASDNGUSFHD 01:44:38 PHILZA LOOK OUT LOOK OUT PHILZA  LSKJDAFJASD;LKF

i love when techno talks abt his vids. like u can tell he puts a lot of thought into the vids (esp these ones) and like at 01:47:00 he talks abt the “I DIDNT PUT DEAPTH STRIDER ON THOSE BOOTS, FUNDY!” and how its just that creepin realization that you were doomed from the start and how he made the armor, he isnt intimidated by the netherite bc he didnt enchant it all the way and only he knows that,,, and i just,,,hgg he

he reveals that hes writin the next arc at 01:48:00: “oh, speakin of arcs, chat, i’m writing the next arc. so, you know. hope nothin bad happens in two weeks, chat!” IM SO EXCITED like he clearly has his character fleshed out and is SO good at writing and retellin history im so so excited to see where he takes it AHHHH and also taht means he might stream more bc he might make his character more important (keep in mind this is the guy who wrote self insert hypixel fanfics. he has no shame in puttin himself first and i respect him so much for it) 

01:51:20 “they’re tryin to get a second customer but they’re riskin their first” is lowkey a good line

has anyone else noticed that techno says wise a lot? like at 01:55:10 he literally says “wise dragon armor” as a joke but like i think he says wise so much BECAUSE of skyblock like hjkfdsla

01:57:30 techno plea se eat 

ok 1:58:45 is hilarious and all but at the end of his ramble he says “come back, i miss you” and lowkey im crying 

techno needs to stop knowing his audience more than we know ourselves im hsfkjda 02:05:25 “the chat’s spammin ‘eat technoblade, eat!’ like they’re not gonna start, like, theyre not gonna get super sad if i ended the stream right now, like theyre not gonna all cry ‘i miss technoblade *sniffs* why- whyd he leave to eat food, why did he listen to our advice noooo’”

02:14:50 NEW VIDEO POGGGG CARL THE HORSE POGGGGGG  NOT A STREAM HIGHLIGHT POGGGGG

02:17:40 “i could start a potato farm out here to show how much ive changed” techno last time u made a potato farm u started an entire war that lasted a year that does NOT say calm and retired to me lskgdfjagsldj

02:23:00 why does techno just reference greek mythology so much. makin me scared for his arc. 

also he talks abt smp earth a lot in this stream i love it so much

i also just. love?? how much sbi respect tommy like they bully him but when talkin bout him they just have so much respect for how much work he puts into youtube and i just,,,,hgnn they r friends 

02:33:13 sbi streamer house lets go cmon

02:34:15 “i think if i streamed every day i could keep up” on one hand YE S  but on the ohter oh god techno no we have to keep up tho

hearing techno say “violence isnt the answer” is so scary  02:35:40

02:37:30 technosneeze 

hiS BROTHER SENT HIM 46 DISCORD MESSAGES SFKDJLFLKASF 2:49:25 i love his end screen so much hes just sadness,,,,retirement,,,t,echnoblade,,,the government is going to fall on its own due to lack of organization and ideals,,,,,,subscribe,,,,,sadness,,,,,also 2:50:45 is making me laugh so hard its just sad music and technos like??? whys phil in my house drinking milk????? 

overall, fantastic stream, if ya want some chill techno philza content i highly recommend. 

[crowbarstodd]

Course Of Nature (3)

Chapter Summary: Marinette doesn’t hate Robin, Chat and Nightwing have basically adopted each other, and the kids finally get to hear something about The Light from the secretive adults. Rating: Still G Word Count: 2,532 (it increases with every chapter ooft) Pairing: Daminette

Prologue | One | Two | Three | Four

When she was seven years old, Marinette was grounded for the first time. It was nothing big; no television for a whole day, but the events leading up to it stuck with her as she grew.

It was early spring and the bakery her parents ran had been up for only four months, bringing about a slew of changes her younger self was hardly prepared for. One of the worst of which (worst being subjective to the temperament of her seven-year-old-self) was the plum dacquoise.

Dacquoise was typically made with hazelnuts and almonds, a delicious combination in their own right. But the addition of the tarty fruit taste of fresh plums was heaven on her tongue.

Plum dacquoise was her favourite cake — her favourite dessert. It was, in the Dupain-Cheng household, her cake. So when she found her father baking it one morning, she let herself dissolve in delight like sugar in water.

The plum dacquoise sat on the bakery display case, and not once did her parents offer her a slice. Instead, as 7pm rolled around, they gave it to Mrs. Bisset in a pink box, tied shut with a white bow.

Marinette cried.

Her cake was in the hands of some evil stranger and her parents smiled as the witch exited the bakery. Exited the bakery with her cake.

She didn’t understand, and her parents didn’t understand her anger, not until she lobbed a plum at her own father’s head, shrieking her head off the entire time.

“I didn’t realise, sweetheart,” her father said, holding her tight in his arms, both apologetic and drained. “But you have nothing to be jealous about.”

They still sold the cake, it would be silly not to when it was undoubtedly a bestseller, but they did rename it ‘Marinette’s Dacquoise,’ and she was content to settle for that.

(Her parents, however, weren’t and promptly sent her to her room and told her not to even think about asking to watch Totally Spies when she was naughty enough to throw a fruit at her dad.)

————————

Marinette didn’t notice the nail marks on the palms of her hands until Alya pointed them out during class the next day. “Girl! She gasped, running a smooth thumb over the blistering marks, “what happened?!”

She had got a well of bad excuses to offer so she faked a laugh and offered the easiest one. “I guess I must have gotten too stressed about designing and managed to do this without realising.”

Alya shot her a look, one that made it obvious her best friend knew she was lying, but wouldn’t ask out of respect, and the fact that she had her own secrets, leaving Marinette to stew in guilt and whatever other feelings her inevitable zone-out introspection uncovered. Coming late at least had the perk of avoiding questions and over-thinking. Not that she was excusing her usual temporal tendencies, but kwami she really could have had a pleasant morning if she just let herself sleep in again.

The indents on the inside of Marinette’s hand were a faded pink, and if she was careful, they would be gone within the next three days. Stupid Robin. Sure, he didn’t press his nails against her skin, but if he hadn’t been so infuriatingly overbearing, she wouldn’t have hurt herself thinking about him. No, not thinking — fuming about him.

Alya’s focus on her new injuries was abated when Nino walked into the classroom, complaining loudly to a mildly bemused looking Adrien. “And all he does is get mad at LB. That’s so not cool man. I mean, at least I heard he did anyway.”

Interest peaked, Alya inserted herself into their conversation. “Who gets mad at Ladybug?”

“That new hero,” Nino frowned, “Lark or whatever — the bird one. I heard he’s like, mad rude.”

Marinette raised her brows at his words. He’d patrolled with her and Robin earlier in the week so she knew that he knew Robin’s name. She wasn’t sure if his sudden forgetfulness was to enforce his civilian cover, but she had a feeling he was at least slightly motivated by spite. Robin hadn’t been kind to him at all, reacting to all his friendly advances with harsh words and cold looks.

Adrien placed a placating hand on Nino’s shoulders as they sat. “Maybe he just seemed rude. Nobody’s really met him yet, and he might be nicer than you think.”

It was pretty typical of Adrien to try and play peacemaker, but this time Marinette winced, knowing that they were the complete wrong words to say. “I’m just saying what I saw!” Nino insisted, “but that new hero shouldn’t be wandering around Paris. He’ll cause more Akumas than he’ll stop.”

Alya leaned forward and tapped on her desk, looking far too used to Nino’s rant. “Watch what you say,” she warned. “Ladybug probably picked him like she picked most of the new heroes, I’m sure she wouldn’t choose someone for no reason.”

Alya’s argument was presented with mild boredom, as if she was repeating an argument. Marinate figured she probably was, seeing how Alya and Nino knew of each other’s identities. and she tried not to feel bad knowing she’d caused two of her friends such grief all while resisting the urge to bang her head on the table. Yeah, in no universe would she pick someone like him.

“No way,” Nino said, “Ladybug hates him!”

Marinette defended him without thinking. Sure he was controlling and arrogant, and they were more like tectonic plates on a collision course than actual partners, but she didn’t hate him. “Maybe it’s because you don’t know a lot about him yet,” she suggested. “Besides, how would you even know if Ladybug hated him?”

Adrien nodded as if she had made a very good point, which she would have if she didn’t know exactly why Nino thought Ladybug would hate Robin. Poor Carpace had been caught in the middle of a particularly turbulent screaming match between herself and her new bird-brained companion, and had suffered from their tempestuous personalities the most. Yeah, she felt a little bad pushing him into the corner like this, but her stomach stirred, unsettled, the more she heard Nino talk bad about Robin.

“He might turn out to be a really good guy,” Marinette continued. “If he was so bad, why would he waste his time helping people?”

Truth be told, Robin was the opposite of a really good guy. He was terrible, and yet Marinette found that it gnawed on her when someone other than herself was spitting insults about him behind his back.

It’s because she knew him, or at least knew him the best out of the Parisian heroes, she thought. (On some level, she was aware that this was probably not the only reason for her discomfort, but she wasn’t particularly keen on exploring that certain part of her brain, so she shoved it aside and left it alone with all her other, more minor issues.)

Marinette was more than a little relieved when Miss Bustier entered the room, timely as ever, calling for class to begin.

Six heroes sat cross-legged around a small, round tea-table, and all Marinette could think was how the whole situation felt like a set-up for a joke.

Across from her was Batman, sipping tentatively from Master Fu’s ceramic cups, struggling to fit more than three fingers into the handle. It was unsettling to be in his presence, more so now in the stifling silence than the first time they’d met when she and Robin had been a second away from hurtling furniture at each other. The whites of his mask blocked out his eyes completely, the same as Robin and Nightwing, though with Batman it looked far more threatening, making him appear like some sort of spectre or creature of the night. (A cryptid, the stranger part of her brain supplied.)  

Marinette took the quiet moment as a chance to finally inspect her new allies’ outfits. She recognised some materials used; the very obvious skin-tight kevlar that Nightwing and Batman preferred, durable and bulletproof. (When was the last time she’d even seen a gun in Paris? They were removed probably a month after the first Akuma, she’d genuinely forgotten they were real concerns outside France.) The inside of Robin and Batman’s cowls were Nomex or something similar, though upon closer inspection she realised that the capes didn’t look quite so loose or light, appearing firm for some unknown reason. Marinate itched with the urge to ask what material and fabrics they used.

She mapped their costumes out in her mind, imagining how she’d sew kevlar together, black and dyed blue to form the abstract shape of a bird, or how she’d construct the shape of Batman’s helmet (did it even have a specific reason for being bat-shaped?) with a styrofoam head of her own design for there was no way a typical store would sell a bat-shaped bust.

“We’ve decided to work with the League on this situation,” Batman announced, pulling her from her thoughts, finally breaking the silence with a small ‘clink’ as he set his cup down. “We’ll be working in units to dismantle The Light player by player. The Miraculous holders of Paris and the heroes assigned to Gotham will be working against Hawkmoth and Queen Bee. Do not attempt to engage with other major players, the League has it handled. Further instructions will be given at the appropriate time.”

He said it as if he expected them all to accept it. Marinate didn’t even know what The League was. If she was sure of anything, it was that she was sorely disappointed, as the announcement had killed any chance of her working with Wonder Woman in the future. Unless the Amazon unexpectedly moved to Gotham? Was that even allowed?

It didn’t escape her notice how Robin absorbed the new orders quietly, accepting it with a simple nod like some sort of soldier, though he was very obviously scowling, as if offended by something Batman had said or done.

Nightwing groaned at the announcement, slouching in his seat. “There’s no chance of you telling us about the other teams is there?”

“The more you know, the more dangerous it is if you get compromised,” Batman grunted. “Focus on your mission.”

Master Fu hummed in agreement, refilling teacups as though this was a quaint Sunday tea and not an official hero briefing. Marinate admired him for it.

“When you say Miraculous holders of Paris…”

“Yes,” Master Fu said, answering her unfinished question, “we will be needing help from at least three other heroes. I’m sorry Ladybug, but this time I took the liberty of choosing them.” He opened his palm to pass over three miraculous’.

From her peripherals, she spotted Robin lean forward slightly, obviously curious, but still too stiff to be clear with his emotions. Chat had no such qualms, invading her private space so he could have clear view of the jewelry. He spluttered out a surprised squawk, turning his head to watch her reaction, then turning it back to the jewellery, oscillating rigidly like a broken fan.

In Master Fu’s palm, three miraculous’ sat, gleaming softly as the metal reflected the yellow lights of the living room. The turtle and the fox were unsurprising, expected even. It was the bee that had shocked both herself and Chat into silence.

“Queen B?” Marinette asked, disbelieving. “Are you sure Master? I thought it was unsafe for her to continue?”

Chloe was stubborn at best, and though she’d taken steps to improve since she’d first become a hero, she really wasn’t somebody Marinette would trust to save the world.

Master Fu hummed, taking his time to respond to her questions as usual. “It took a lot of deliberating,” he admitted, “but we need her tenacity.”

She took the Miraculous’ from his, still unsure, but trusting of his judgment. “If you really think so…”

“Woah, so they all have different powers?” Nightwing’s voice broke through the cotton building in Marinette’s head, and she took a moment to admire his vivacity. It was easy in their line of work to fall into sullenness, but he seemed energetic and friendly beyond belief, she couldn’t help but grin.

Yeah, he would be great for her Kitty.

“Sure thing,” Chat said, “Except for Ladybug, she has two abilities, and Paris would be lost without her wielding them.”

She shoved Chat’s shoulders lightly, though it was obvious that she was pleased with his compliments. “Paris needs the cat too,” she said, speaking frankly. “The best offense a miraculous could provide.”

“Definitely seems like it,” Nightwing agreed readily. “The cat is the best one for sure.”

More delighted at his praise toward her partner than offended at his obvious disregard of her, Marinette beamed at his words, glancing at Chat to discern his reaction. Her partner was staring at the older hero as if he had hung the moon himself and declared it belong to Chat.

“You really think so?”

“Of course I do.”

There was something else there, something that Marinette was missing, but she couldn’t find it in herself to pry when Chat was glowing so bright he outshone the sun.

“You really are the best,” she said instead of asking. She wasn’t totally sure what they were on, but her friend more than deserved the reassurance she often forgot to give him, and now was as good a time as any.

Robin tutted loudly, fuse blown by something that had happened during the exchange, though she didn’t know what, storming off. He was polite enough not to slam the door, knowing he was a guest at Master Fu’s house, but Marinette didn’t miss the way he pressed harder on his steps on purpose so that his stomps were heard loud and clear.

Marinette recognised the heated exit; the wordless anger and the need to attract attention. It reminded her of plum dacquoise.

The silence that followed was tense and confusing.

“Sorry about him,” Nightwing said, though Robin was neither his fault or his responsibility, at least in Marinette’s mind.

Master Fu and Batman had left sometime in their conversation, Jasmine tea cold indicating that they were long gone (there was no way Master Fu would ever let tea turn cold in his presence) and Marinette appreciated the small victory. At least there was no adult to lecture them about whatever it was that just transpired.

Chugging the rest of his tea, Nightwing stood. He worried his lip, obviously concerned about Robin, eyes flickering from the door to Chat. “I have to go get him,” he said.

It was Chat’s turn to patrol that night with his new partner, which was the only reason Marinette let herself say, “I’ll go.”

Unwilling as she was to do it, she wouldn’t quit until she’d calmed him down or sent him home safely. (Not that she knew where he lived, but he’d be fine in a tree of sorts, he was a bird after all.) Something told her he wouldn’t settle for a simple re-naming, or anything simple at all.

End Notes: Someone’s jealous~!

Hope you guys liked this chapter! The next one is gonna be a bit of a monster though it will feature a splash of Tikki, Tim and Alya, and more civilian Mari. I feel like this story is taking so long to fully set up, I want MariDami to be friends already but hhhhh,,, development. 

I sort of wanted to pick Deathstroke or Ra’s instead of Queen Bee so it’d be more personal but she just worked better with the plot that I wanted to write so rip.

Tag List:

@just-rant-and-write-fic-idea @kceedraws @mystery-5-5 @2sunchild2 @i-like-fairytail-and-stuff @treebrosha @mooshoon @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @aarushi-03 @ladylb @crazylittlemunchkin @kurogaya913 @ki117h3dr4g0n @xxmadamjinxx @sidefrienda @7-sage-7 @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen @felicityroth @tritaledkitsune @constancetruggle 

Feel free to comment/ask to be tagged/untagged!

[twiddlebirdlet]

Inbox Collective Part II

hagarsays said: I don’t believe that cause if Chris liked something we would have gotten a notification saying Chris Evans likes....... also people and photoshop shit

Anonymous said: well one thing's for sure this pr seems to be hitting, it has been posted everywhere and all comments are positive from what I reading , people like him obv and they love lily and no one is suspicious , the only criticism I'm finding is with fans because of the Corona thing (rightfully so), the general public doesn't seem to notice it, i think it's because the picture seem cozy and don't not flashy unlike sebastian

Anonymous said: I also don’t understand how ppl can’t hold their fave accountable like that doesn’t make you or your fav a bad person. Everyone makes mistakes, calling them out helps them realize they were in the wrong and hopefully allows them to grow to be a better person

Anonymous said: The like and unlike of the tweet coupled with these new pics of him looking at the camera is just so shady to me. Its not as if he’s had any bad press at the minute or really has anything to sell, so what does he actually have to gain from pulling a stunt like this at almost 40 years old? Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.

Anonymous said: Is he still in London to be practicing lines with her

Anonymous said: I find it hard to believe he liked that tweet cause people can fake something like that all the time and you would have gotten a notification saying Chris Evans like something I didn’t get anything I just got a RT notification

Anonymous said: Don't know if I'm reaching here but Jenn Streicher sometimes used to do lily's make up but the last time I can find is 2016 so I don't know if she could of introduced them

Anonymous said: Chris’s Great Maskless Papwalk Stunt Adventure! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Oh, Twid, you kill me!

Anonymous said: Seb took the pressure off of Chris cause he been seen with his GF without a mask and they are out in the open😂

Anonymous said: I’ve been seeing some people say he did this for a personal trip and they are dating. The paps were there coming out. What do you think about this?

Anonymous said: I know you won't agree with me but I think they are serious and talked before. I am not saying she's is soulmate but it's gonna last.

Anonymous said: So pretty much every article is running with the hot new couple?? take. And no denial from either side. I guess they're playing this game through? Just curious what you think, if the goal was to get buzz around their names, but they're not actually doing the dating thing, when would you think a denial would come?

Anonymous said: So idk who situation is way worse Seb or Chris cause Seb is out and about with his GF and they aren’t wearing a mask while Chris was with lily and no mask but it was at night so what you think

Anonymous said: Okay out there theory. Maybe CDAN was right it could of just been dinner and explains the very little romantic information we're receiving. I know in previous interviews the avengers cast has gone to dinner together out and about with little pictures. I think he's even just gone with Scarlett we just never got any photos. Thank God. And as sketchy as it seems I've been at friends house way later than 1 am and literally played games/talked. This could possibly be a set up or exactly what it looks

hagarsays submitted: I’m other news SEBASTIAN WHERE IS YOUR MASK 😷 https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Fthesebnews%2Fstatus%2F1280541447570194432%3Fs%3D21&t=OWNjN2E2OTY3ZWNmODBhNDI3ZGJmODQ3MDRmY2YwYzM2Y2QxMWY1NSxjMmVmNzY5YmZjNWMzODIyNDY1ZDVmNDYyY2M2ZjcwMmE3YTNhYTAw Twitter

Anonymous said: Hello. I'm new to Chris Evan's blogs or fansite so this question might sound ridiculous. But why am I seeing so many people suggesting he or his team have staged things, especially with women, for the paps? I guess he never seemed like the type to me so it's all surprising. Also, in the photos with Lily he didn't seem aware of the cameras. However, she seemed very aware as she was looking dead at the photographer. She didn't seem to be trying to avoid it Thanks in advance for any answers

hagarsays said: Some people who where fans are leaving the fandom over what happen like that a really stupid reason they are acting like he did some bad that he can get arrested😂😂 like clam down people it’s not that crazy

Anonymous said: I personally think this was a hookup or a PR stunt. Even if they did get together in the hotel, I don’t think Chris would intentionally be this careless to let the paps see. Either way, good for them. If it’s an actual relationship, I’m happy for him. I just don’t see how it would work rn under these circumstances and them living in two different countries. Also, people are still going on about the condom. Like, who cares. At least he’s being safe if it was 🙄

Anonymous said: lily is so smart, first she calls the paparazzi to photograph her going to a hotel where she is staying and then the paparazzi catches her with chris, she is very committed to disconnecting from her ex

Anonymous said: Do you think he’s still in London or back in MA?

Anonymous said: Just Jared posted another article mentioning an old interview where Chris talks about dating actresses because of life shared experience. Considering that JJ is really celeb friendly, I wonder if this has to do with his team or if it's just a slow news day.

Anonymous said: Just Jared posted another article mentioning an old interview where Chris talks about dating actresses because of life shared experience. Considering that JJ is really celeb friendly, I wonder if this has to do with his team or if it's just a slow news day.

Anonymous said: ASP launch reschedules in 3..2..1

Anonymous said: It's funny how many people now are desperately trying to prove that Lily and Chris didn't sleep together because they believe he's with a certain engaged actress instead. Like Chris voluntarily left the event with Lily, got into a cab with her, and they went to the same hotel, but gosh, he had no idea this was going to happen and he is just shocked! They're trying to make it seem like Chris was utterly clueless and Lily was the bad guy in all this so they can still believe he's true to the tree.

Anonymous said: Chris just tweeted and deleted again. That is twice in 24 hours. I really need that gif where he says I am not angry just disappointed to be inserted here.

Anonymous said: Hopefully these "mask manips" will make their way back to "The Maskless Boy Blunder" like Scott & Yvette Nicole Brown was so eager to bring those acylics & bonnets manips to his attn…😒

Anonymous said: You are killing it, Mod. Case in point: “The Great Maskless Papwalk Stunt Adventure” moniker and the reminder of Chris’ penchant for overly melodramatic 90’s films. You are the best. Please insert appropriate self-congratulatory gif here.

Anonymous said: Someone left a comment under asp instagram post that Chris didn’t wear a mask and now that post gone.

Anonymous said: Did you read Lainey Gossip's article? She actually thinks Chris self quarantined for 2 weeks after arriving in the UK. Oh lord 🤦🏽‍♀️. He literally got there last week, and is probably out of there by now.

Anonymous said: What he tweeted and deleted?

Anonymous said: Ya what’s a little weird. I went on US weekly to look at that article and it was not on a top headline where news from yesterday was still on there. And it’s hard to find. Even US Weekly was like ya we aren’t getting paid for this nonsense. Haha.

Anonymous said: A starting point just deleted tweet and ig post. Yesterday Chris deleted his retweet. Very interesting 🤔

Anonymous said: ASP instagram just deleted post. WTF happening. Too much bad comments?

Anonymous said: Bets on Chris retweet new ASP tweet or not?

hagarsays submitted: ASP was 3 years in the making didn’t he just started interviewing politicians in 2019? https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Fasp%2Fstatus%2F1280502252319449089%3Fs%3D21&t=YmEyZmYxMzMzYTkxMDNkMzdlNTdkMjFlZWQwZWNkOWFlM2Q3NDZjYixmM2VmZGE1NzhhNGYzZThmNjI1ZWNhYmYzOWEzODRlMWU0ZGRkZTI2 Twitter

Anonymous said: Her hotel is closer to the club they were in and nicer too. Why did she go to his and walk through the back while he took the closer door like i love lily she can do better. I read he did the same thing to Jenny even after they went public like i wonder how he even brings it up

Anonymous said: Do you really think he was there for work? Idk why I find that so hard to believe. Apart of me thinks he literally flew to meet her and had it papped. What are your thoughts? The flight isn’t that long from Boston.

Anonymous said: Is this definitely a pr stunt? Could it not be the start of a new relationship between him and Lilly whilst acknowledging it’s crap timing without a mask etc

Anonymous said: people know say that him was holding a condom he must be embarrassed now

Anonymous said: Flying across the sea during a pandemic, not wearing a mask, was wrong. But Chris is in love, again. He's been following her IG for quite a while now and their mutual friends (Powley and Cooper) probably introduced them via Skype, Zoom, whatever. It's been 2 years now, so he's more than ready for another affair. This will get really interesting once they start flying back and forth to be together. Should be fun watching this one - Chris finally has himself a Disney princess!

hagarsays said: Also I just realize this if they wanted to milk this PR stunt even more they would have made another plan where they meet up somewhere and look like they are having fun. I honestly think and I could be wrong this was a one time PR stunt cause as of now I haven’t see any fan pictures of Chris and fans from London know where he staying so that’s why I think he back home or maybe yet hiding 😂

Anonymous said: I'm the anon who mentioned that some relatives got sick during a barbecue. I wanted to thank you for your answer and say that today, my cousin told us that my aunt will be released from the hospital. The staff was sweet and sent pics and a video for my cousin.She stayed there almost 2 months.I couldn't recognize her. She is really weak and could barely speak at the video. She has a long road to fully recovery.Take this virus seriously guys.My aunt is young and had no health problems before this.

Anonymous said: Lmao if the anon is talking about those actors not doing pap walks, a lot of them have, esp when there was some controversy. And Tom Hanks had a whole affair with Rita Wilson. Like, some of ya'll are projecting.

Anonymous said: Literally in a crowded park? The group looks like they socially distanced and kept to themselves so let's not overstate things. People have been spending time at parks and not wearing masks since it's outside. Making assumptions on any "candids" doesn't work since you just see a fraction of what happened. Especially if we're assuming PR.

Anonymous said: I wonder if we will get a Dodger pic or a pap walk wearing a mask. Does anyone know how twitter reacted? I don't have an acct there, so I don't know.

Anonymous said: Do you think that Chris and Lily’s PR stunt really increases his chances of getting the Emmy nod? Cause although it might get his name in the media, idk if it’s a good look for his image or ASP. Plus, if he wants to be taken seriously as an actor and not be seen as just Captain America, idk if engaging in a fake relationship and traveling abroad to club without a mask will get the Emmy voters on his side.

Anonymous said: Not going to lie this whole situation has made me lose a little bit of respect for Chris. Also just seen pictures Johnny Depp in London and he is wearing a mask and think he came from US.

Anonymous said: I am Dumbfounded! Why is everyone still Surprised at Chris Evans Behavior? It is expected that he will do more stupid things than good. One step forward, two steps back. Oh! Make it three!! LoL and what is the basis of Emmy's for a nomination? By Being more popular and who have more exposure in press and media? Isn't supposed to be who have a better acting and who is a more talended actor? Which Chris Evans is Lacking? Sorry not sorry but he is mediocre at best. He needs Acting Workshops badly.

Anonymous said: I’m assuming Chris is back in MA about his deleted retweet. But that would mean he was in the UK for 3-4 days. He was also styled for an event (he never dresses that nice). I don’t buy into lily breaking up with her BF and then quarantining with him for 3 months. I think they are still together but it’s a bad look for her to just get back with him if he cheated. So her team makes her look desirable and having fun and then her and Matt will ��rekindle” their romance (1/2) With her not even being papped in the hotel that makes me think nothing happened and it was a setup. Usually Chris’ team puts out an article for relationships. Which didn’t happen with (this) lily. I bet their will be announcement about her being in a project with him soon (maybe LSOH). And she will be papped with Matt. Chris is so private that i doubt that he would start doing this now. There’s too many places he could have been papped in the UK but wasn’t. Just my take🤷‍♀️. (2/2)

Anonymous said: “Sometimes what Chris says doesn’t always line up with what he does. Today is another example.” What do you mean?

Anonymous said: The club checks your temperatures at the door and it was reopening night. They have rules for people who can come there because of this pandemic. Why and who he was with? I don’t care but I hate that people are making it seem like he was in some nasty club with glow-sticks dancing to old rap music & ringing in the New Years then took a girl back just to fuck her. How ridiculous and presumptuous of people. Chris has his faults but he’s not a complete idiot.

Anonymous said: Did you see the IG post from justheretoruinlives literally it zooms in on what they portray as a condom. Lololol

Anonymous said: girl i think like you !! I see many say they already had sex just for being at the hotel at 1am? but we only know that she supposedly entered the hotel through another door? but in the photos she is not inside !! Also, don't we really know if it was that hour or not? DM is never as reliable as the medium! I also think PR but I want to think that this was more of her! We can only hope what Chris's team says about this!!!

Anonymous said: Chris is just blegh the past couple of months. ASP for starters. He’s going to get torn to shreds for it and rightfully so. No doubt he’ll slowly stop acknowledging its existence and cut the partnership in a few months. His quarantine interviews.. dude get some new one liners. Saying the same thing always. Trying to use big words so he sounds smart. He sounds pretentious and annoying. Then ignoring Rudd to scroll on his phone and constantly cutting him off.. BOO!!! I’m over his hypocritical bs!

Anonymous said: I’m trying to figure out why Chris would partake in this kind of PR stunt right now, though. It’s SUCH a bad time for that... what would be the purpose for it?? Not trying to be combative, I’m just truly baffled by it. Like, why??

Anonymous said: I didn't even watch his last interview I'm disgusted he's acting even younger than me and I'm mid twenties. This took attention away from all the semi-good things he's doing. I don't think most people are paying attention anymore. Megan is going to have to sadly clean this up if she didn't have a hand in this.

Anonymous said: Nobody has memory of anything serious he's doing anymore lol. Defending Ryan right? Sorry never heard of her. He reduced himself to tabloid fodder and it's disgusting.

Anonymous said: He’s been working PR for the past 8 months. He mad his insta in December, made it public in April (around the time of DJ a similar strategy they did for Jen A.), had a single but dating article in Jan. Has been doing nonstop press since April/May. Mentions LSOH in the last couple interviews. Follows Lily (June) and is now papped with her. Well played Chris, well played

Anonymous said: So does the timing of his tweet indicate he is back stateside? I noticed he followed someone last night (DJ costume designer) when it would have been the middle of the night or very early in the UK. He's probably back home.

Anonymous said: Sounds like she playing cat and mouse with her ex. Buying decorations one month then getting papped the next with someone new. Not saying it isn't possible to move that fast. But....if ex came a knocking she would probably ditch this pr blunder.

Anonymous said: As much as we tried to deny it, we knew Chris could be messy. I’m REALLY disappointed that Gemma Chan was with Lily on her maskless park romp the other day. I’m a big fan of hers and thought she was smarter than that, especially since she’s said a lot supporting frontline healthcare workers through this whole time. Really over this selfish behavior from everyone, both celebs and normal people. It’s just making this longer and harder for all of us.

Anonymous said: The thing is: Chris says he wants sth, but I doubt that even Chris knows what he truly wants. That's okay! A lot of people don't know what they want. What really bothers me is that he keeps selling the same narrative over and over again (cuz he knows we will buy them) and then do sth that suggest the opposite of what he states. C'mon man, be yourself and don't give a damn to people's opinions. It's better than contradicting yourself. Sorry if that doesn't make sense

Anonymous said: Mark Ruffalo is a national treasure. Take notes, Chris. You could learn a thing or two.

Anonymous said: Must be nice for him that he’s in a position where he COULD get a Covid test on demand if he wanted one (and I’m SURE he could). Even in my state, which is doing worlds better than other states, we have a testing bottleneck and also concern about supplies. People who are sick are having to wait. Healthcare pros and teachers and essential workers are having trouble me getting tested. I know I shouldn’t get so upset about him but it’s just really disappointing.

Anonymous said: Also if he knew he was gonna be papped why didn't he wear a mask. I think a case might be made for that as well. When he moved Scott no mask. Assuming most people wouldn't even notice probably and only one did. LA protest his most likely chance of being photographed, he had a mask. Even posted on his story. I'm just grasping at straws🤔

Anonymous said: She have an article on DailyMail every single week. So angry about this dumb decision to play a pr couple. I had a better opinion about Chris.

Anonymous said: Well if the artwork thing is true I can definitely see this being pr and her having no actual interest in him. But no pr can explain away why he endangered himself and others. I hope scott tore into him.

Anonymous said: I thought it was PR 101 to like not be in a PR relationship with a girl who calls the paps, and was rumored to be doing drugs in a park a few days ago. I feel like he has a better pool to choose from to be taken seriously

Anonymous said: Change of subject/pace: I wonder why Halle Berry thought she was going to do what they VERY PUBLICLY shut down Johansson from attempting not to long ago: play a transgender in a movie. If Berry wasn't paying attn then, surely her team was?? And now with JKRowling v Everybody... Maybe Berry thought her "historic" Oscar-win would protect/excuse her…???

Anonymous said: cya Chris! > I’ve watched all his interviews and imo he doesn’t come off as cocky but that’s just how I see him. I still think he’s a good person that needs to get his shit together. I hope everyone is staying safe

Anonymous said: I don’t watch his interviews. Can the other anon elaborate on how he came across as self-absorbed, cocky, hypocritical and dumb? I believe you, I just don’t want to do the work myself

Anonymous said: I had a weird feeling when him and Scott starting following her as well. Maybe it was because she was weirdly being papped a lot at the time where I would be like why is this girl getting papped

Anonymous said: The girl that was with Sebastian posted a pic of then two togheter on jet sky one day before the pap pics

Anonymous said: The thing that those pictures from Saturday but posted on Monday morning US time speaking it self. But I think this was planned from both sides. Lily could approved way earlier. I can’t wait for their next walk of shame pictures.

hagarsays said: Also his fans even said they have no problem with lily James and him being seen together it that he didn’t wear a mask is the problem but also they all moved on cause it’s so unnecessary to go back and for with pictures that’s where taken on Saturday

Anonymous said: Not to be that person...but lily was seen in a park with Gemma Chan, Billie piper, Dominic cooper - All not wearing masks. Her and Chris were at mark club which is a private members only place with a dress code and social distancing rules - no mask reg (check the site). The doorman wasn’t wearing a mask either. The UK seems weird with rules and while I don’t like it - I am not surprised. They DRESSED up but didn’t need masks. What’s wrong with this picture?

hagarsays said: I agree can we all move on cause we are all going on circles at this point and it’s making us all go crazy for no reason. So if there another major information between them you would know also if there a statement we would know too but as of now there isn’t

Anonymous said: Entertainment tonight, people and us weekly have reached out to there team for a comment do you think they will get an answer

hagarsays said: If I’m right he started following once he got his insta cause I had to look at something and her name was part of the 70 total following but now he follow 3 more people

Anonymous said: Chris does not even follow the director or any producers of LSOH on Instagram so I would not assume his following Lily is automatically related to the movie.

Anonymous said: Have you seen the knives out page? They blocked the ana de armas update page. Hilarious break if you need one.

Anonymous said: I think like you. I think mainly chris is there for work !! Maybe it's already gone or is it still there? in my opinion I think it was more PR of her than chris !! when chris has done a type of PR that involves that he spent the night with a girl? why many think that already !! maybe the hotel part was part of it? why is chris seen entering the hotel quickly?

Anonymous said: Asian Tree gal pal is Scarlett. She didn't have on her unique engagement ring in one of the grocery store pap sets (she's had it on in subsequent sightings) that might've given her away, and when dressed down with her hair pulled back she's no "Black Widow," and still managed to get ID'ed, so NOPE, no excuse for Evans to not have on a mask or one in view.

Anonymous said: And if he "forgot" his mask, I'm prettttty sure the luxury hotel or exclusive restaurant would've arranged to get/lend him one. Buuuuuut then we wouldn't have 50+ "candids" at different locales, angles, and postions, now would we...? 📷📷📷

Anonymous said: Asian Tree gal pal is Scarlett. She didn't have on her unique engagement ring in one of the grocery store pap sets (she's had it on in subsequent sightings) that might've given her away, and when dressed down with her hair pulled back she's no "Black Widow," and still managed to get ID'ed, so now excuse for Evans to not have on a mask or one in view.

Anonymous said: My opinion is she called the Pap but the plan went to the left with the back door. This is not coming from Chris he wouldn’t leave anyone sees him with out a mask in this pandemic. Even if it was just for the Pap walk

Anonymous said: I live in the UK, we don't have to wear mask, we do have to social distance though, u are allowed to be in a bubble, i wouldn't say a 4th of July fuck is social distancing or being in a bubble. I work with some very sick people who have had life saving treatment cancelled. Then u get people like Chris who do as they please for a weekend fuck😡

Anonymous said: Getting back to the Michael and Alicia thing, did they start as PR and end in marriage? Or is the marriage also PR? I know that sounds ridiculous, but I’ve heard it happens

Anonymous said: I wonder if Megan is like “sooo that backfired” LMAO I haven’t really seen a lot of positives hahah

Anonymous said:

I would like to know what's on Cris's mind now what is he feeling, if him regrets this “drama”

Anonymous said: I hope he does get dragged for not wearing a mask and I don’t feel sorry for him that he can’t retweet something without crazy comments. For someone who pretends to be smart using big words he sure is stupid sometimes. Also-did you see the Tom Hanks PSA...lol “I have no respect for people who don’t wear masks) I could care less about A Starting Point. Covid has hit so close to home with friends and family I’m just floored about this.

Anonymous said: If they use the “having fun” “seeing where things are going” language in the next article about them it’s a publicity stunt. Because those phrases are not only what Chris’ team has used in the past but it’s also what many other celeb PR stunts use.

Anonymous said: Maybe Chris deleted the retweet because he knows most of his fans aren’t happy with him right now so he’s rather lay low

Anonymous said: Sorry but does that anon have more information on Minka and Trevor? How do they know they’re dating????

Anonymous said: Surley if they were dating they would be staying in the hotel together the past week or so or however long he's been there, it's clear from the pics she hadn't been there with him before and had to wait to be let in, they would know who she was surley……

Anonymous said: Some of his fans moved on cause they know this whole situation is BULLSHIT and it’s all PR shit for the movie while other are demanding Chris to say something

Anonymous said: I just want to comment and laugh at you explaining to the other Anon what the ‘Dark Ages’ where. That’s the most appropriate and best description I’ve ever heard over that wretched and gross time lol

Anonymous said: The ASP launch is literally one week away. He should be promoting that instead of doing this. He's sabotaging himself. I don't really think it will affect the success or failure of the website itself, but it's taking away from what should be his promotional narrative. That's why I have a hard time accepting he'd play this game this way right now.

hagarsays said: Also if Chris is back home we would never know not if he was seen somewhere in Boston

hagarsays said: I really just want to know why do this like what’s was the reason was it because lily might be taking Scarlett role so they want to make a name for her so they picked Chris cause they know how his fans will react like I need to know😂

Anonymous said: Meanwhile Scott is on IG advocating for trans safety and rights. I think he’s a great advocate and ally and I appreciate the awareness he brings way more than something like ASP.

Anonymous said: lmao people are making assumptions though. Did you physically see him walk through the front without a mask? Did you also see the doorman without a mask? All of these assumptions are ridiculous at this point. People say it's pr so they get the pics then what? You literally don't see it.

Anonymous said: Those screenshot are from a gossip site. Also in the UK we call it snogging🤷‍♀️

Anonymous said: Do you believe the DM that said they where making out in that person post you posted

Anonymous said: Just wanted to say thank you for being logical and realistic about all of this. I see a lot of people trying to make excuses for Chris and say this isn’t PR

Anonymous said: I'm pretty sure lilly still lives with her ex. And was probably partying so hard to get over said ex. Then gets papped again with a new guy. It feels like maybe revenge more than her actually being interested in casanova over here.

Anonymous said: I think like you. I think mainly chris is there for work!! Maybe it's already gone or is it still there? in my opinion I think it was more PR of her than chris !! when chris has done a type of PR that involves that he spent the night with a girl? why many think that already !! maybe the hotel part was part of it? why is chris seen entering the hotel quickly?

Anonymous said: Considering how vastly worse Black people have been impacted by covid, anyone who tweeted about BLM but isn’t taking the pandemic seriously is a fucking hypocrite in my opinion

Anonymous said: Why would this trip's purpose be LSOH? It's not like Chris is involved in the making of it, i.e., producer, etc. Why would he be going to London to meet with Lily? I believe they've been in touch in the past month or so (email, DM, text, etc.) and he wanted to personally meet with her. Wait and see what happens after the launch of ASP to see if he goes back there or if she comes over here.

Anonymous said: God I hope Megan wasn’t... he would need a new PR team immediately.

Anonymous said: I don't see him settle down. I never felt this vibe coming from him even with all what he says in interview. I think I like the idea to be a husband and a dad but if he did it he couldn't hook up with women he meets in nightclub, ask their number to girls, go to strip club with all the freedom he has right now. I read often it's because he doesn't meet again the one but he doesn't invests energy, make compromises for a serious relationship for me.

Anonymous said: If I were the PR person arranging this, I would have booked Chris at the same hotel lily was papped at a few days and sold it as “they hit it off at the party and were staying at the same place, what they did when they got inside is anyone’s guess” leaves fans speculating enough without the embarrassment or messiness of her going waiting around a back door for no real reason

Anonymous said: Also wasn’t it teased that lily and producers wanted to do mamma Mia 3🤔

Anonymous said: I think settling down with a wife and kids sounds nice to Chris in a “maybe one day...” kind of way but it’s not something he’s eagerly looking for or trying to make happen.

Anonymous said: Being papped during a hookup seems way off from settling down to me….

Anonymous said: I’ve always said his settle down wife and kids thing was PR😂😂 either way this is messy and I don’t think they knew it would backfire. Also the US weekly and People article mentioned it could be for work after hours of the dailymail article and fans roasting him for not wearing a mask and traveling

Anonymous said: maybe him is having a midlife crisis

Anonymous said: I think that’s the big takeaway here. If it’s real it will never work. Mr. Boston ain’t leavin Massachusetts for anyone anytime soon and she is firmly rooted in the UK. I don’t dislike her at all, the opposite, I actually like her better than most of his exes, but as a fan of both, this just isn’t rooted in reality long term. I’d be all for the man having some fun if the rest of the world wasn’t on fire right now.

Anonymous said: Umm shouldn’t we not idk jump to conclusions until we officially know what happen between them

Anonymous said: Thanks you guys for making this MORE about these dated, sloppy (PR?) moves and his reckless UNMASKED/NON-QUARENTINED behavior. I'm glad this didn't turn into outright bashing her or needlessly excusing him as *certain* parts of his fandom does with EVERY tenuously linked female in his orbit. Business or pleasure, HE has more to lose in just goodwill. Our climate is MUCH diff than in '15-'17. He & this better be "handled" in keeping with our changing world/times, cuz it's short-sighted and tacky.

Anonymous said: HAHAH! He is not settling down. He is literally hooking up or creating a narrative he is hooking up at 1am in a pandemic. Clearly Dad Chris Evans I want to get married and carve pumpkins reputation and brand has flown out the window.

Anonymous said: She was with a man for 5+ years and might have been cheated on. In the last 7 months she’s been papped a lot and with different guys and looking like she’s having fun. Now with an A list actor. This is her team making her look desirable and her making her ex jealous. For Chris it’s getting his name out there more and pushing the bachelor image. He followed her months ago and I would be surprised if this was planned but I think it backfired and makes them both look tacky😬

Anonymous said: Get a grip! Nobody here knows Chris at all, none of us do. You can't say things like 'I don't think Chris would like this' or 'Chris wouldn't do that' because we don't know. All we know is the very carefully cultivated image presented to us by him and his team. We have no idea who the real Chris Evans is.

Anonymous said: This is all so messy and quite frankly embarrassing because it’s so transparently PR. I think they both made bad choices here - Chris especially since his penchant for privacy made me expect more from him. How long do you thing this circus will last? I was around for the last PR stunt so I’m not sure how these things go.

Anonymous said: I don’t think she’s any messier than he has been in the past. I’d like to think he’s changed but the reality is we have no idea. His last major relationship had its own set of bright red flags. There’s plenty of judgement to be had about the pandemic situation but directing anything else towards just her isn’t really fair. I know a certain faction likes to always blame the woman but they’re in this together, whatever this is. I see people already turning on her and it’s kind of obnoxious.

Anonymous said: more to that anon's point about her being super messy. WHY would he want to be associated with that messiness when he has seemingly worked hard to get rid of or at least hide his partying image? I'm not sure I'm phrasing that right. But my point stands. He wants to be taken super seriously for the whole ASP thing and I don't think this helps him. The only real 'winner' here is her.

Anonymous said: I really and I mean REALLY hope this was just a work event and they went for one night stand. But if he will do pr dating with her or he’s really into this young drug addict with messy relationship history Im out of this fandom. He says how he wants a family and trying to look smart using all those fancy words but in reality he’s a huge disappointment.

Anonymous said: To everybody who is disappointed at Chris cuz he seems to be acting different from the image he's been projecting over the last years: Mr. Mercurial has always stated his appetite changes a lot. Maybe this is just an example of it (yes, I'm being sarcastic) 🤷‍♀️😂

Anonymous said: Why are people making a big deal about separate entrances to the hotel? Most hotels right now will only let you in the main lobby if you're currently staying with them. I think you even have to make a reservation before you get there. Lily isn't a guest at the hotel so they aren't going to let randos walk through the main lobby.

Anonymous said: None of this makes sense. I can only see 3 possible explanations: 1. They met for work, but where so smitten, they hooked up (but how would the paps have had advance notice?) 2. They met on SM and planned a date (but he’s never invited paps to his first dates before. 3. They really are hooking up and he’s so insecure about everyone knowing he was single in lockdown that he wanted to broadcast getting laid to the world (maybe he’s more of a bro than we thought?). But why so cheap and tacky?

Anonymous said: “Do you think he may have taken her back to the US given that she has been living in a hotel?”>>>>>I think some of you might be getting a little bit ahead yourselves over this one set of photos.

Anonymous said: “after one date/hookup” No one knows the real reason they were there or together. It’s just speculation at this point.

Anonymous said: I think it’s his old suit.

Anonymous said: I don't blame you for not noticing, Chris follows a few random women. People were just focused on the wrong one. Nothing even indicated they had contact until the pics. Even though I wouldn't be suprised if most of the contact was through their pr agencies. Once again who is buying this random relationship/hookup.

Anonymous said: I don’t know anything about lily. What’s her reputation?

Anonymous said: You think him & Lily are a thing now bc he followed her months ago on ig? He’s not dating every female he follows tho. Maybe it’s bc of LSOH.

Anonymous said: Yeah those were the words I was looking for to describe this whole thing. Cheap and tacky. The right way to reveal something to the public is them going out and getting papped at dinner, something more romantic that can at least give the illusion of a potential serious relationship, not a party and back entrance of a hotel. It just looks so messy and dare I say gross. Don’t reveal a potential hookup even if it’s just for the sake of publicity.

Anonymous said: Cheap, tacky and irresponsible considering the current situation at the world. He doesn't have Marvel anymore. I was curious if he would take the path of the actors and actresses in HW. IMO, this answer it all. I know he used PR before but it used to be subtle. This is ridiculous and entitled, principally, because of the current situation, as I said before.

hagarsays said: The only people who follow Lily is a scott and Chris but Chris been following her since he got insta. But idk about Lisa and his sisters cause there page is private

Anonymous said: The funny thing is this pr date is getting alot of positive feedback. So I could see then dragging this out for a couple of months. The only people that see through this are fans🤦🏾‍♀️. I bet that if they reported this on the gossip news tonight while dragging them for not wearing masks, he would stay his butt inside until filming and stop the shenanigans. Which I doubt they will, but it seems tone deaf to report on Nick Codero. Then report on two idiots w/o masks on gallivanting around London

Anonymous said: I'm staying away from Chris's tag on Twitter because it a mess. Some are excited about the prospect of Chris and Lily, some are pissed about the international travel and being maskless, some are confused by the randomness of the whole thing. I'm just not sure this is the kind of press he needs before the launch of his political website and the Emmy noms. I hope his team puts a pin in it soon. Also, it's difficult to take ASP seriously after seeing his irresponsible behaviour.

Anonymous said: Something I find interesting is that in the people article they mentioned Chris and her both quarantining separately. I have no idea why they would believe anybody would buy this relationship. Even as a hookup it's sketchy. Honestly they should let it die. They couldn't even get the dates right on some of the articles.

Anonymous said: No one knew Chris was even in London so that sounds like PR to me. Makes no sense for it to be unknown he’s there & then pap pics get posted from this site who is known to stage pap pics. What else would it be?

Anonymous said: I don't think they were at a party though. The article says they were at the private club, and that's it. No mention of a party anywhere.

Anonymous said: Wasn't she at the front door of the hotel at first then went round to the back/side, how would she know all the doors to the hotel, I doubt this was their first encounter at this hotel

Anonymous said: Lily and her group of friends are known to partake in shall I say powdered sugar. That’s nothing new that’s been the talk of the town for years here in London. That group of friends are known on the party scene which is their right but I don’t find druggies to be cool.

Anonymous said: I’ll never understand how these things translate into award nominations….

Anonymous said: A bunch of outlets said they were making out but like I don’t buy it. This might come back to bite me in the ass but like idk

Anonymous said: Trying to think logical and the timing of pandemic and them both being in different continents, information and pictures in May that she’s back with her ex, before Covid Chris traveling between DC and Canada... How these two could be dating?... even starting as online would be a nightmare because of time in both countries. This ether a PR stunt or she called paps when he asked her to his room.

Anonymous said: I've had a real fun day today thanks to Chris. Like many of you, I've been at home now for over 3 months. I'm really enjoying this. I'm hopeful this will continue to give me some laughs over the next few months. I'm looking forward to her arriving in Boston, that will really kill the fandom :):)

Anonymous said: Am I the only one who thinks they banged? I’m not denying they were there for work but how realistic is she left after the phots

Anonymous said: maybe we'll see the “new couple” at the Emmys

Anonymous said: What’s happening in the Seb fandom? Do people think that’s a PR stunt, as well? And, you’re awesome, Mod. You keep things in perspective.

Anonymous said: I feel like all this nonstop discussion about are they, aren't they plays right into their hands and gives them the attention they wanted. Granted it's a small section of his fandom here, but I hate playing these games. In an effort to change the subject, I for one would love to hear your thoughts about ASP (whenever you're up for it of course). As a fellow Texan, I almost canceled Chris on the spot after he met with ted cruz. Gross.

Anonymous said: If you go on her twitter (Minka) she didn’t take her geo tag off she has been back and forth in nyc since Jan. Also spotted in NYC in March. And follows Trevors Manager’s wife on IG. I know that is a random follow but she wouldn’t just randomly follow his managers wife if she didn’t know her. Either way she has been in NYC back and forth with the geo tag and obvi not working and you wouldn’t stay with a girlfriend back and forth.

Anonymous said: Do you think it’s a hookup gone wrong or PR?

Anonymous said: Speaking of LILY 1.0: Biel pulled the same stunt yrs ago w the then "King of F-Boys," I MEAN Sparta! Broken up w Timberlake (over Olivia Munn?), well after filmimg wraps, managed to get pap'd cozy on a motorcycle w recent costar Gerard Butler, despite both wearing shades & helmets, being in traffic on PCH. Everybody denied everything, but Biel was reunited & ENGAGED soon after. IF thats what this is, Evans should be weary of possible "rebound n release" relationships by now, but we're here!🍿

Anonymous said: I hope he doesn't post about masks and protecting yourself and others because that will be even more hipocritical.

Anonymous said: Ok, I have to voice my opinion since it seems everyone else has -- he has been following her on IG for quite a while now, perhaps they have been dm'ing and decided to give it a try. We'll have to see if she shows up in Concord MA. It's just really bad timing though - a pandemic and ASP starting up. Is he really this stupid?????

Anonymous said: I can’t take ASP seriously from a guy who went to London to hook up and not even wear a mask, or a guy who did all of that for PR. He is a joke.

Anonymous said: If it’s PR I give to 3 - 6 months

Anonymous said: If he's back in the USA then that's even crazier to me. Why would he go to the UK for just a few days, whether for work or not? That would be a bit weird even if there wasn't a pandemic going on.

Anonymous said: This is almost as entertaining as Ben and Ana.

Anonymous said: With JS and MK it was organic and there were things leading out to them being together. This is out of the blue and with no previous indication of it happening. Also London is a long way for causal sex or even a first date. The fact that Chris is most used news sources say he’s there for work. It just seems like a very sloppy and thrown together PR stunt.

Anonymous said: Looking at lily's Instagram following list Chris is second on the recent list, do you think its possible they were both at the bar separately and met then they hooked up then she followed him?

Anonymous said: Valerie is crying in LA right now hahahahah

Anonymous said: There was rumors about Lily and her sniffing habits. People can google them self. Chris could find someone with a better image if he really serious about asp website and his own image. Remember back in the days there was rumors about him and drugs too. People who hates him and his politics views will use this info.

Anonymous said: Do you think with this Deadline interview is his team trying to change the focus

Anonymous said: Even looking at JS and Minka there was some level of affection and SOME discretion. This was lily Collins, Lucy Pinder-esque. I think if he would have been papped at the airport and then later at a grocery store with him it would have been different. Ben and Ana are believable because it was months in the making this is out of nowhere

Anonymous said: The only other movie besides LSOH that Chris is rumored to be involved with is Bermuda, and that seems to have gotten a lot less traction than LSOH. Would it be likely that he's already starting work on a movie that no one's even heard of yet?

Anonymous said: Someone on LSA pointed out that he follows Bel Powley this weekend and she was in the park with that group. She was in lobby hero and in the party with Pete Davidson last year with Chris. So he is friends with her and is maybe the link.

Anonymous said: Feels like bad timing with ASP launching next week

Anonymous said: This screams PR but for what I’m not sure but I’ll bet money that she’ll be announced as Audrey in LSOH.

Anonymous said: Honestly I hope this is real because why have you risking your life and being photographed doing it. I'm sick of celebs and pr. Even though Ben and Ana are hilarious and entertaining. I thought he would be past this at this point. It's disappointing and he knows it's nothing but drama. Are more people really gonna see the movie/visit his website/hype him for Emmy's cause he's dating/boinking lilly? I'm truly done with him

Anonymous said: It's sad with the number of years Chris is in this industry, with his pass with Minka and Jenny he didn't learn his lessons or is doing it for have his name in the media for a nom. I didn't see Ruffalo do it. He lives his life with his wife and kids and shared pictures from the set. If it's a pr romance or just for speculation Chris uses the bad way if he wants to be take as a serious actor. Very disappointing if it's that bc I don't see a rs between us when he was in Usa and her UK.

Anonymous said: Do you remember that girl that was papped holding hands with Chris and we never seen then togheter again maybe this will happen again

Anonymous said: I would like to point out that the taxi could have stopped closer to the hotel. Not only Lily did her "walk" in front of the hotel but Chris did his too. And if he went there for work, he could and should have restricted his stay only for work, which obvioulsy wasn't what happened.

hagarsays said: Wait I though lily is still rumored to be In LSOH it’s been confirmed now?

Anonymous said: if they be together and both on LSZH is just gonna add more rumors about Chris and his co stars and I don’t think is good to his career to be rumored with costar in all his jobs

Anonymous said: This trip might be work related (with a hook up on the side), but this very well could be the start of a relationship between them. The long distance works for John Krasinski and Emily Blunt. Maybe Lily will like living in Concord MA. They could have been having a long distance get to know you via email or DM and now are ready to go public with it.

Anonymous said: Wasn't Matt seen out with Claire during the time he was supposedly back together with Lily? I don't think their "on again" was ever confirmed.

Anonymous said: Tbh she doesn’t seem like the type to be going to Boston to hang out with him and dodger she just doesn’t fit that vibe imo. And he doesn’t seem the type to be going to London every few weeks to see her?

hagarsays said: Just putting out there regardless relationship or not it won’t changed how I feel about him I will always be his fan😂 BUT Chris your on time out for leaving dodger

Anonymous said: I’m glad he’s getting called out about the mask thing. That and the travel are really the only things here that bother me. I’m in a hotspot. I know people who have gotten sick. A friend of mine was forced back to work with the public and now she and her family are awaiting their results. I was heartbroken to hear about Nick Cordero yesterday. This pandemic isn’t over. I’m disappointed to see him blatantly flout the rules. I feel for the driver and hotel staff.

Anonymous said: I wonder if the hotel Chris is staying at only lets guests staying at the hotel entry through the lobby. I had to stay at a hotel for work and received a pdf that only guests can go through the lobby. If I was meeting up with someone they would have to wait for me outside. I also had to get my temperature taken each time. They wouldn't be able to keep track of all non-guests not staying at the hotel.

Anonymous said: Also these pics were on Friday and bars/pubs and restaurants were closed in the UK until 4th July they were allowed to open from 6am on the 4th. But hey one rule for the rich and famous and one for everyone else

Anonymous said: If they were together, and he flew down to London just to be with her (like some people are saying), wouldn't he at least have checked into the same hotel as her? This smells like a PR game or one night stand or something.

Anonymous said: Actually Tom cruise is the only person who doesn’t have to do the 14 days quarantine idk why but there an article about it

Anonymous said: She was pictured in different hotel couple days ago not the same they pictured Chris with her. So no they did not live in same hotel and was pictured together by accident. Also if she was staying there she wouldn’t go from the back doors.

Anonymous said: I think Chris has been in London at least since late June. I follow his twitter and he’s randomly for weeks posted at oddly early (EST time) - 6-7 am. Too early for PST, kinda early for EST quarantine. I wondered if he was overseas and saw on IG last week he started following Gemma Chan and other brit actors. I think he’s been in London (lowkey) until those pics since late June. I think he flew private and he’s been incognito until those photos. Basically - I don’t think he JUST flew in

hagarsays said: I feel like the more his team stays quiet the more it get worse cause so mine think Chris is the reason Matt and lily broke up so if I was megan I would put out a statement so everyone can move on already cause drying quite make shit way worse

Anonymous said: The funny thing is I actually like Lily James. I’d actually like them together. I just don’t like these circumstances or this timing. The quarantine rules are rules for a reason, I don’t care who you are. This is some BS I’d expect from a Kardashian or Trump kid. It’s selfish.

Anonymous said: My guess is that it’s PR with a lie pleasure mixed in….

Anonymous said: as much as people or US did not confirm that they are dating? and they are the font that chris uses !! I think Chris is in London for work and people say something with that !! I think it was an exit maybe as friends or just for PR for both of them !! dailyM is so exaggerated already by little it says that chris had sex with her in its headlines !! In addition, if CN is correct, maybe it was she who originated all this to generate people to talk about dating with Chris?

Anonymous said: To be fair on the coke thing it’s no secret Chris has imbibed in partying in the past. I don’t care what he or she do to party. I care that whatever they’re doing now is during the Covid crisis. I’m sure the masked attendant in the background would love to not have unmasked people gallivanting around.

Anonymous said: Agree that this has all the hallmarks of PR. Even if it’s real, she’s not as objectionable as some of his exes and she is age appropriate. It’s just the timing of things. For someone who tried to appear “woke” and has spoken of the seriousness of the pandemic, this isn’t a good look. I’d love to be able to go on my now cancelled London trip this summer with my friends. But I’m not a celebrity so the rules actually apply to me. That’s really the only problem I have with this.

Anonymous said: Considering the article were put online with such a small difference, maybe his team sent the same e-mail to everyone? Lol

Anonymous said: confirmation about their relationship > Media articles don’t know shit tbh half the time they’re labeling a relationship even when there’s nothing to be labeled

hagarsays said: His team need to say something cause right now people are going crazy also one fan was being rude and making fun of lily tweet is not there but this whole thing is just a hot mess

Anonymous said: If this all just PR it was a dumb move on his part. I see most of his fans calling him out or their at least not happy with him. And this could get him some bad press right before ASP goes up (which might also get a lot of backlash)

Anonymous said: Shit... it’s really happening... It’s gonna be a long summer guys.

Anonymous said: The US weekly article seems to suggest he is just dating around still. Do you think? The People article says it can’t contact his agent

Anonymous said: If they are dating they look like a cute couple I have to say

Anonymous said: Relationship? I don't think any article confirmed it. This sounds more like pr for Lily in regards to Matt. They even bring up their "tense" lunch/dinner or whatever it is.

Anonymous said: There are rumors SJ could be pregnant (though that rumor seems to be around a lot since she's not super-skinny), maybe that's why she's been replaced if in fact Lily will be Audrey? I remember Billy Porter basically confirmed SJ and Chris would be in LSOH, maybe back in April or May?

Anonymous said: From what I’ve seen Chris makes an extra effort to get to know his cast and crew so I wouldn’t put it past him if he went to London to meet up with the cast or just see things that are happening for LSOH. He just doesn’t seem like the guy to fly out to a different country for a girl he’s a real homebody imo

Anonymous said: It's still so strange that mere days ago Chris was all "Yeah, LSOH is on the backburner right now" and then like practically the next day he's in London, seemingly for work. And if this turns out to have nothing to do with LSOH then it's doubly strange. And what's going to happen with ASP? He's either going to have to do it from the UK or he'll have taken these big risks just to be in London for like a week. If he wanted to do PR for an Emmy, I'm sure he could have found an actress in LA or NYC.

Anonymous said: What pisses me off the most about this Chris nonsense it that I’m a nurse and we have so many patients new coming in and we unfortunately see them die. I really wished he wore a mask even if the UK said it was fine to be without a mask. Chris miss rona ain’t a joke she don’t care if you’re hot rich and young. I love him but my god it breaks my heart seeing people die from this.

Anonymous said: There was another daily mail exclusive about Matt and her quarantining together and back together. Close Friends was the source talking about their connection. Than they were papped biking together

Anonymous said: I agree with the anon that said the narrative from us weekly or people will depend on the reaction to this. Time will tell I guess.

Anonymous said: This has nothing to do with Scarjo, she is clearly out of the games. Lily James will be in LSOH, that' s why he started following her weeks ago. But I agree this is all a big staged mess. Who knows if it will turn into a real fling though. Drugs and alcohol, she is definitely his type.

Anonymous said: I agree with everything you said this screams pr also i did a quick search of Lily and she has been in the press so much the last couple of weeks with so many exclusives by the daily mail! She also checked into a central london hotel on the 2nd july and guess what its only 7 minutes away from Chris's, so perfect for paps to get there shot of her outside his hotel and her to go in and hide in the lobby for 10 mins then get a cab back to her hotel 👀

Anonymous said: “Chris never travels outside of the US unless it’s work related. In all my years of following him, I’ve never once seen him travel abroad for recreational reasons. It’s always for work.” THIS THIS X1000! Chris never leaves the US (or Boston really) unless it’s for work. I really don’t think this was a coincidence, there’s so many think that various anons have pointed out but this is probably the most important one.

Anonymous said: When did he done his live interview? He’s definitely less than 14 days in London so he really didn’t followed the rules.

Anonymous said: I feel like this is PR only time will tell tho. They may end up being thing but rn I’m leaning towards PR

Anonymous said: Hi! Sorry if this is a stupid question, but how does a PR "relationship" would help with the Emmy noms? Is it the fact that he is out there more, so there are better chances of voters checking out his work? That's the only way I can make sense of this. Thank you!

Anonymous said: If it’s just PR that’s worse than if they were dating/hooking up. He thinks an Emmy is worth risking his health and the health of others?

Anonymous said: "And Chris wants that Emmy nod to finally feel like he’s taken seriously as an actor. They both would greatly benefit from this being a thing. " Sorry but how you find an actor serious after he flew in a middle of global pandemic to go to a private party with an actress who have not the best image lately. It's definitely good for her but for Chris it's a different picture.

Anonymous said: It may be less irresponsible than it appears. Rich people have access to tests, fast-acting (hours) & reasonably accurate. Films are a business. Insurance is a huge factor. An actor’s carelessness during pre-pro would alarm the $$$ guys, I would think. Haven’t read much on how insurance is now structured during CV19 but if LSOH is going forward, then someone weighed the PR opportunity against possible severe illness that would cost $$$. And decided they were safe enuff to pap stroll.

Anonymous said: I’m the anon who asked about PR romance. So basically his PR people have him seem shady to get attention since bad publicity is still publicity? I mean to say, is this his PR persons ideas for him to do these things or his and they cover for him?

Anonymous said: about emmys Mark is amazing in his role he deserve win the show is amazing

hagarsays said: Honestly at this point his team needs to put on some type of statement cause it’s not going away anytime soon until they set the record straight on why he there and was seen with lily

Anonymous said: It’s just disturbing to me since Amanda Kloots husband died of Covid 19 last night and then this morning Chris is maskless traveling, staging pap pics. Like we are in a pandemic. If this was from his team, they need to be morally better.

Anonymous said: But now it's a bad image for Chris... Going to UK, partying, hook up with his costar... oh boy it's feels like early 2000.

Anonymous said: I was hoping he learnt from his past relationships with MK and JS but no. I am disapointed but more by the fact he didn't wear a mask. We've got lots of people who are sick in Europe

Anonymous said: Not saying it’s not possible but I don’t think Chris into online dating, so this looks like pr for me. They didn’t see each other for months before last night. I hope Megan will think something smart and we didn’t see new couple alert.

Anonymous said: I feel like we only get paparazzi photos of Chris when it PR and have been called. You have never of known that he was in London other wise.

Anonymous said: This club (Marks) is not a nightclub. It’s basically like any media members club. People have meetings, sociales, eat and drink. It quite formal. You can hire it, or part of it out for meetings and events. So this is definitely work based. The hotel? I don’t know. Would CE hook up with an actress he may be working with straight away maybe? But it think not.

Anonymous said: i feel like this isn't the right time for them to do promo, it makes them both look like assholes

Anonymous said: The place they went to isn't a night club. It's a private club with very strict covid-19 rules. It's members and invite only. They have private rooms and limited staff during the pandemic. They have a thermal imaging thingy to check temperatures as well. So he wasn't around the general public or strangers. Read up on Mark's Club.

Anonymous said: It’s funny how some fans give him and Lily a pass because she’s pretty. Just wait while they found pictures of her wasted from last week. This is not a good look for a “politician” Chris.

Anonymous said: I hope he stays at quarentene when he comes back. The right thing to do was to not travel at all but since he was irresponsible enough for that, I can only hope he be responsible when he comes back, for his family.

Anonymous said: Take a step back and look how Chris is dress. He is usually casual for parties and hookups (Jenny, Minka) this instance he has been styled. He’s is currently on a Emmy campaign and has been in the us since forever. He followed lily months ago. Then these pics were specifically released to the dailymail (a UK based gossip site). And the paps just so happen to there at the right place and right time. Yeah they could be doing it but Chris is WAY more sneaky that this.

Anonymous said: LMAO. His staged pap walk got foiled by getting locked out of the hotel. How embarrassing. 😂😂 Chris Chris Chris don’t you know these stunts backfire?

Anonymous said: Seeing the pic of Stan at the yatch with the staff wearing masks and then seeing the pics of Chris with the employee of the hotel wearing a mask is practically a deja vú. I don't think this is good PR but of course people will run to defend him and ship them.

Anonymous said: Lily still share the house with her ex

Anonymous said: If this is PR it’s stupid and lazy. Another (British) Lily in an on again/off again relationship who will probably rekindle her romance with her ex in a few weeks. And, who runs his PR? Partying and implied hotel sex during a pandemic is not a good look. At least in Seb’s case, it looked like he was dating his girl. This looks like a hookup with a potential co-star. What, did they get tested just so they could sleep together (if that’s the narrative)?

Anonymous said: The photos where taken on Saturday night but are only been posted Monday afternoon.

Anonymous said: So can we wait for a pic of Dogder? If people calls out him on twitter, chances are there will be a new pic.

Anonymous said: I don't care if it's real or it's PR. It's stupid and reckless. He is travelling and walking maskless in the country in Europe with more deaths by covid and during a pandemic that killed more than 100.000 americans and thousands of people around the world. And yes, I am calling out Chris, as I am calling out people around me. Just because governments are putting less restrictions because of money and economy, doesn't mean we all should act as if nothig is happening.

Anonymous said: now I think that chris definelly follow women that he is interested and maybe slide in her dms

Anonymous said: Some people think they called the paps to put out an an official announcement about their relationship soon. Also, did Scott go with Chris to London? Or did he start following her after he saw the pap pics?

Anonymous said: **THANOS SNAP!** and the fandom's in a tailspin cuz he's done everything all at once! Travelled into a RECENTLY former pandemic "hotspot," "caught" with a "usual suspect (wht female, 30s, brunette, relationship status: complicated 😏)," pics framed like a pre-walk-of-shame (also that shitty site's M.O. - which had pics Fri but waited til Mon to release 😉), DAMN plebeian rules! = no mask or courtesy 2wk self-quarantine. So sensational...& stupid. Now: ASP who? But let's sit n sip together. 🕵🍿☕

Anonymous said: Guess ASP and serious smart guy image not his priority anymore. Rumors about dating his costars like in his twenties more interesting to his team. Sorry Megan but it’s not the right time for this bullshit.

Anonymous said: Also with it being a PR thing, surely this is not the Image he wants out there. Travelling to the UK, going to a party and hooking up all during a pandemic. I live in the UK and things are a mess here at the moment. I would not be heading out like that

Anonymous said: No masks, she was in DA with Michelle. He’s not normally one to get caught with a woman when he’s out with one (cause we know he’s no monk). Time will tell

Anonymous said: Gemma who?

Anonymous said: I mean considering in May she got back together with Matt Smith idk what to think. Also hook up fine but I don’t think this girl is moving to Boston having 4 kids and being his wife at home...I’m not taking this seriously.

Anonymous said: I just need to vent. So I apologize in advance but Chris is an idiot. I just saw the photos of him & Lily James that were allegedly taken friday on the Daily Mail site. And I am angry. Not because he is doing whatever with whoever but because he decides to go London & walk around without a mask, the day that all the pubs and clubs reopened. Like I said. He is an idiot. I truly thought he had more brains due to the fact that he was wearing one while he was in LA. Again, I'm sorry for the vent.

[xoruffitup]

I Once Had This Top-Quality Adam Dream...

(I just made one long-ass text post but now I’m going to make a second one, oh no....)

So I just made a post reflecting on visiting London, and then I saw a couple Sackler posts on my dash, and the two combined made me realize I really need to write out this incredibly detailed, epic dream saga I once had where I lived in a London townhouse and Adam was the landlord (literally don’t know whether to call him Driver or Sackler because he had major characteristics of both). This was like some full reader-insert fan fic shit all in one single dream, but it was SO detailed and amazing I really need to get it all out:

True to life, I was in London for grad school and looking for a place to live. I heard from classmates about a nice but affordable house in the outskirts of town where students from past year classes had stayed.

I go out to the house and meet Adam, who lives there but rents rooms in the huge place out to students. He’s dressed in scuffed jeans with messy hair and doesn’t look rich enough to own a house like this in London. When I ask, he dodgily says his parents left it to him before they stopped talking. 

I move in a couple weeks before the normal semester starts, so it’s just me and Adam in the house. I live in a basement room, and his bedroom is on the first floor, right next to the kitchen. I see him coming in and out when I’m cooking. He doesn’t seem to have an office 9-5, he just does odd repair, painting, or carpentry jobs. Now and then he comes back totally grime or oil-streaked, like he’s been working under a car all day. 

I’m super curious, so the first time we’re eating at the same time in the kitchen I ask him what his deal is. By now we’ve talked enough that he knows a fair bit about me, so he finally opens up that his parents worked for the US military as contractors designing navigation and other tech systems for military planes. Growing up on military bases, he learned all their specialized knowledge about both designing tech and fixing the mechanical nuts and bolts of planes, helicopters, or even ground vehicles. But as he got older, he realized a military life was the last thing he wanted. At 18, he’d come with them to an assignment at a British base, when he decided he wanted no part of it anymore. His parents had left him the house to try to stay in his good graces and perhaps someday lure him back, even though he’d barely spoken with them in years. He doesn’t outright say it, but it’s implied he learned not-so-savory secrets of their work with the military, and for moral reasons broke off from them; Leaving him as a drifter with a big, empty house in the London suburbs.

Before we really know each other, we sleep together. It’s just us in the house. He looks hot when I see him come in all dirty from some handy man job; I’m apparently a bit more level-headed and less annoying than the undergrads he usually rents to; we’re both single so why the hell not? It’s a really, really good habit for a few weeks.

The semester starts and a few other students move into the house. We’re not official or anything and Adam doesn’t seem to want the others to know he’d been fucking a tenant so the sex mostly stops. But we like being around each other, so instead of sex we end up spending a lot of time just talking in the kitchen or watching random movies together in the living room. Sometimes I tell him about my long-term career anxieties, sometimes he tells me about his unresolved feelings towards his family and his lack of direction. There’s still an occasional makeout on the couch or quickie when the house is empty, but the quiet times when we’re just talking start to become even nicer. I also casually mention my age at some point (I was 22 in grad school) and this seems to trouble him a bit. He’s only 27, but I get a sneaking suspicion that the gap makes him a bit uncomfortable when it comes to sex.

The other girl sharing the basement with me is none other than Maisie Williams. (Yes, totally weird and random but I’m not complaining.) Sadly, the three other people in the house are all annoying and/or assholes. Two of them are girls who not-so-subtly have their eyes on Adam; Seeing that he’s young, apparently single, and cohabiting with them. I almost choke on laughter a few times witnessing them flirting with him, only for him to be either completely oblivious, or disinterestedly shut them down. (He is almost a total grump 90% of the time to the other residents; When they even see him.) They do notice there’s there’s ~something between me and Adam, and they annoy me for details, but there’s nothing I would want to divulge. There’s nothing official between us, but at the same time, there is something tangible and real - Something these girls could never understand; Something of a lot more value than just casual (even if really good) sex.

The other guy living in the house is the worst. He hardly talks to anyone, until the time he intrudes into the living room late one night while I’m watching TV. Having no clue he was interested in me, he kisses me out of nowhere. He pins me when I try to pull away, and my attempts to yell are loud enough for Adam to hear from his room. When Adam appears, he pulls the guy off and socks him in the mouth, furious. “Gather your shit and get the fuck out of my house.” It’s late and the guy won’t be gone until morning, so Adam asks gently if I want to sleep in his room. I do, and for the first time we sleep together in his bed - Just sleeping. 

From here on, the relationship takes a turn almost towards wholesome big brother/little sister. We spend more time than ever together and I trust him completely, even while nothing sexual happens for a while. 

One night, I’m out at a club in central London when a girl I’m with had something put in her drink that makes her so sick we have to take her to the hospital. I’m really shook up; my two friends and I waiting to make sure she’ll be okay. It’s 2 AM when the doctors say we should go home while she stays the night. I can’t even think clearly about how to get home - I’m so tired and upset and worried, so I call Adam.  “She drank something really bad. We’re at the hospital and the doctors say we should go home, but I-I don’t know what to do...” “Do you want me to come there?” “Yes, yes I do. Please.” When he gets there, I break down a little in relief to see him and he just holds me for a minute. After we talk with the doctors one more time, Adam puts an arm around me and says I should come home. The friends with me are as upset as I am, so Adam takes us all outside, asks for their addresses, and puts them all in cabs home. Then he holds my hand on the tube ride back to the house.  Without talking about it, I come to his bedroom when we get back. In his bed, I whisper, “It could have just as easily been me that drank it.” “No, it couldn’t. Because you’re not fucking stupid enough to drink something that was out of your sight.” I look at him - His words are harsh, but true. They’re what I needed to hear. Finally, I relax and sleep, with him close. 

It’s getting towards the end of the school year. I’m working on my dissertation, and I’m stressed to the max. Adam listens to me bitch a lot about it. Rather than getting bored, he tosses ideas back and forth with me and helps me develop my arguments. He even reads some of an early draft when I ask him to. He gets annoyed once, when I ask for his opinion on a day when my confidence is low and I’m talking about abandoning the whole thing. He says: “What the fuck are you even asking me for? You go to the fucking fancy grad school. What do I know?” “You know me.” We’re both quiet for a long moment - It’s the first charged moment there’s been between us in a while, since we stopped sleeping together. He takes my laptop and goes back to reading my draft.

As the end of the year nears, some of the students move out - Leaving only me, Adam, and Maisie. (Yup, she’s still there.) Adam bursts into the kitchen in a panic one day, saying he forgot there would be some kind of inspection the next day to keep his house in the renter’s market. The house is definitely not in the tidiest shape, so the three of us bust into a major cleaning spree together. It’s hot and there’s a lot of dust, so Adam starts cleaning shirtless. “Well fuck that, we’re hot and dirty too,” Maisie says, and that’s how the three of us end up cleaning the whole house without any shirts on. 

The date is set when I’m going to move out and go back home to the US. I text Adam the date, and then I don’t see him in the house all week. It’s the day before I’m going to leave, he’s still nowhere to be found, and I’m getting a little pissed with him. Then one of his friends drops by the house. “Adam’s been on a job the last couple days, but he asked me to bring this by for you, and he said you can keep it.” It’s Adam’s fancy high-powered laptop - The one you both gamed or watched movies on together some late nights; The one I kept longingly saying I could make such good use of, instead of my years-old, decrepit one. When I go on the laptop (yes, I know his passwords) the first file I stumble on is an anxiety self-help document. I doubt he meant for me to see it, but it reminds me why he might be avoiding me on purpose. Why it might be too hard for him to say goodbye. I’m not mad at him anymore. 

Just as I’m getting ready to leave, he shows up in the kitchen. He’s out of breath, like he decided at the last minute to try to catch me. “So, today’s the day,” is all he says. I nod, find myself tearing up a little, and rush to hug him. I hold onto him for a long time, savoring how tightly he’s holding me too and resolve not to cry. It won’t help anything. He finally kisses me long and purposefully, then we untangle and he carries my bags outside for me. 

A few years pass. Even though I think of him a lot, we only text occasionally. We’d always been like that - Even though we spent so much time together and came to know each other so deeply, the relationship had never been one that translated to digital expression. I only date casually, always finding myself wondering whether he’s met anyone; Whether he ended up going back to work with his parents. 

Three years later, he texts me out of the blue that he’ll be visiting Washington DC, where I live. He doesn’t give any more details, just asks if I might want to meet up. I respond within minutes: Of course. 

He looks exactly as I remembered (just add a bit of a beard), and the sight of him slams me so strongly I practically jump on him when I hug him. It’s awkward just at the beginning: “Hi.” “Hi!” “You look gr-..” “You look wonderf...” “I didn’t want to get in your way if you..”  “Just tell me if you’re too busy to...” Until I ask him why he’s in town, and he says it’s for job interviews. He’s still not willing to work directly for the military or the Department of Defense, but he’s been contacted by some private companies that want to use military-grade navigation systems for other uses; Systems Adam knows how to build. And then I ask him about his parents, about the house back in London, he asks me about my work, and then it all starts flowing right away again. 

He doesn’t have a place yet in DC. Although he booked a hotel, I bug him until he cancels the reservation and comes to stay with me. I might have thought of him a lot over the past few years, lying in this bedroom, and I can’t be denied the chance to have him here. He keeps making gruff comments about not wanting to bother me or be a nuisance, but something about seeing my place and being there with me makes his protests stop.  “I’ll just take the couch...” “No, no, you’ll stay in the bed with me.” He goes still and looks at me evenly for a long moment, then his voice is soft when he agrees. The way he’s looking at me seems different than how I remember. It’s not bad - There’s still every bit of familiarity and fondness that I remember, but there also seems to be some newly kindled spark. It’s been 3 years and I’ve grown up a bit. 

When the lights go out in the bedroom, the bed seems to automatically tilt me towards him. Once I reach out first and he feels my hand brush his arm, he lets out a rush of breath and closes the space immediately. Both of us had yearned for this familiar intimacy, but at the same time the years that have passed have added an edge of novelty, wonder, and hunger. “Are you sure?” he asks in a whisper while we’re kissing. I’d missed this about him - The way he relapses into revealing how very unassuming he is beneath his shell. “Completely. It’s been years and I haven’t stopped-.... Yes.” We have sex twice. 

After his interviews, he goes back home to London. He tells me the next week that he received a good offer he’s thinking of taking - A job in DC. My heart’s speeding so much, at first I don’t even know what to say on the phone to him. He’s talking some nonsense -  “Of course, even if I take it, I wouldn’t assume that means anything for us... You have your own life and I don’t want to get in the way. You have so much going for you and I...” “Shut up, you idiot. Do you want the job - Not thinking about where it is?” “...Yes, I think so.” “Okay. Then you should take it.” “Yeah?” “Yeah. And when you get here, we should look for a place together.” “..... I don’t know if that would be best...” “Ugh, would you stop with this annoying thing where you act like you know what’s best for me better than I do?” “That’s not what I’m doing. I just don’t want to drop back into your life and-... I just... don’t want to get in your way or hold you back...” “Adam. I thought about you all the time during the years we were apart. Yes, I dated, but I’ve never trusted anyone the way I trust you. I never will. The only reason I didn’t talk to you that much while we were apart was because I know you hate texting, and you hate writing about your feelings even more.” (He makes a snorting sound on the line.) “But don’t make any mistake - I want to be with you. I know it, and I’m dead sure of it. I’ve had three years to think about it.” “...You always were determined, when you knew what you wanted.” “And you’ve spent a long time trying to figure out what you want. Can’t you let me help you find it?” Adam’s quiet for a long moment, until: “You think I don’t know what I want? That I haven’t known this whole time? I’ll admit, when it comes to work, in that regard you’re right... But four years ago, a certain girl moved in here, and ever since then the rest of my life’s become very clear.”

And just before that assumedly happy ending is where the dream ended. :’) Thank you very much, my weird, wonderful dream-brain. I’ve been wanting to write this all out for ages - Hope one or two people enjoyed sharing it!

[semi-imaginary-place]

fe3h blogging 3 because i have no self control

wah. I don’t want to start BL because that would mean leaving Edelgard and Claude. I don’t care about dimirti as much. part 1 dimitri is so earnest though

i think blue lions was written first. 1 the two monthly missions that have to do with students’ families are both in BL (Ashe and Sylvain). I didn’t notice this at first because for some reason I got it into my head that one of them was in the black eagles and so i thought every house would have a “welp and now we kill  your [insert family member]”. 2 two fairly important side characters at the monastery are related to BL students (Annette and Mercedes). Chapter 3 actually provides a intro for all the lords in their respective routes. Edelgard’s scene is serious but not especially sad, instead you can feel te fire burning within Edlegard and the scene shows how she’s willing to sacrifice the lives of those under her if she believes she is doing the right thing. Claude’s is actually quite light hearted in tone after the first few lines and it highlights the mystery surrounding him and makes him seem very sketchy. Chapter 3 in Blue Lions though is really sad. Ashe my baby boy. Here there is a sense of tragedy in the post battle scene.

My opinion of Gillbert slowly plummets as my opinion of Annette continues to rise. I mean absentee emotionally distant father? He doesn’t deserve Annette and her mom. Ok during Dimitri and Annettes C support about how being siblings would be nice, I’m like ummmmm you two are less than half a year apart. Annette is just small not young. its actually off putting to see Sylvain act like a decent person in Dedue’s supports. Underneath all that philandering and shitting on women, he’s actually a good dude and pretty smart, but wow I want to hit him sometimes. wow Felix is actually nice* to Annette. *well nicer anyways. He’s not mean to her. the “fight” Annette and Mercedes have in their B support is so stupid and now I need to get to the timeskip for it to resolve? wow.

I think Dedue like trauma latched (is that a thing???? I should go look up ptsd sometime) on to Dimitri. Like found the first person that showed a bit of kindness for him and clamped down. He sees himself as a tool of Dimitri, his entire existence is for the sake of another person. He hates Faergus for what it has done to Duscur but instead of helping to enact meaningful resistance against Faergus, he latched on to the first person that didn’t treat Duscur like scum. That’s not rational. Come to think of it everyone in blue lions need therapy like more so than the other houses (who could also use some)

And here I thought Sylvain was the one with self-worth problems, turns out Dimitri’s a part of the gang too. Its like he can’t see any good parts of himself. He is very earnest and straightforward. Also “you didn’t appear to be suppressing you emotions” huh really. not a topic you’re familiar with yourself Dimitri? Can’t remember if I’ve said this or not but why is Dimitri the only one to have a modified armored uniform.

Edelgard: tower, fortune, emperor. Linhardt: hermit. Mercedes: high priestess, strength. Ashe: star. Dimitri: moon, justice, devil?. Claude: sun, hermit?. Seteth: hierophant. Felix: chariot, emperor. Lysithea: magician. Flayn: lovers, priestess. Manuela: empress. Marianne: fortune, priestess, sun? death?. Ingrid: Emperor?. Bernadetta: hermit, moon. Dorothea: lovers, empress. Ignatz: hanged man. Caspar: justice, chariot

Ashe is such a good boy TT^TT

I always thought it hilarious that Lonato got Catherine’s name wrong, but no there was more to it than that.

Also I don’t get why Annette or her mom couldn’t just go to Garreg Mach. She didn’t need an excuse to visit a place, its not like you need a visa to enter. The school of sorcery and then officers academy sounds like such a roundabout way of doing things

I wonder what name Claude ascends the throne under. He likely only took up the name von Riegan upon entering Fodlan and probably used his father's family name before that. I wonder if Claude has an Almyran given name. If he tried to claim the throne under the name Claude von Riegan it’d kinda be an insult like spitting in the face of his people and that wouldn't gain him any favor in Almyra. But would he go under a fully Almyran name? He would be a more popular king showing himself as one of the people. However, I imagine that he'd keep the name Claude. Maybe he grew up with his parents calling him that maybe its important to him now that he's lived under it for ~7 formative years of his life. Coming to fodlan marked the beginning of claude carrying out his plan's to achieve his dream. Its also a period where he is devoid of his parent's guidance and presence. I'd also just say 16-23 is a pretty important period of identity building in a person's life. Its under the name claude that he finds people he wants to walk down this path with. Its an acknowledgement of both sides of his heritage. I wonder if his choice would be different in a non Verdant Wind route.

What if timelines get mixed up and 23 year old felix gets sent to right before glenn dies.  23 yo felix get teleported to an alternate universe or something and meets 13 yo felix. Felix angsts that glenn seems so young and how he's now older than him, maybe yells at his dad a bit and has a chat with 13yo felix.And then idk gets teleported back? Or worse gets trapped so now there 2 felixes running around and i dont know how thats going to affect the time line

Ashe would make the perfect court asassin. He has enough rank/political clout to get access to targets and its not suspicious if he is in proximity to them.But he's not important enough that anyone would pay attention to him. He's a knight and the lord of castle gaspard at most. He's like a minor lord not a duke or anything. Ashe has enough social and emotional intelligence to navigate social situations. He's easy to get along with and has that harmless sweet boy demeanor to him. He already is good at lock picking, sneaking around, and bows. All he need is some training from Shamir and Claude and Ashe would be unstoppable. The only thing stopping this is that Ashe is a genuine good sweet boy and hates deception. My boy is going to be a knight! 

You know what Dimitri needs? A Raphael. Put the one who cant deal with his own emotions next to the emotionally mature on and maybe Dimitri will finally get the help he needs. They can train together too

Dimitri: Kill them all. Don’t let a single one of them escape. Sever their limbs and crush their wicked skulls.

Me: how about no. Kids, don’t do that.

(later) Dimitri: I will search for survivors

Me: Yeah the ones you didn’t kill

The more I learn about Dimitri’s childhood the more I’m like what the hell is wrong with Faergus??? The lifting rocks makes sense because Dimitri is ridiculous strong, but having a kid run all night in heavy armor, or waking an 11 year old up in the middle of the night and having them catch deer. ????? Also Flayn’s cooking and Dimitri’s taste buds are a good match.  “Look at that young maiden wielding a giant lance. How adorable!” I mean that does sound pretty adorable actually.

Sometimes I think about how the officer’s academy is run as an institution and then I get a headache. The player character students we have number around 25 but you see npcs everywhere around garreg mach and there’s enough of them to fill a ball room. In talking to the students, a lot of them imply this is their first year at garreg mach which would imply that the officer’s academy’s course is 1 year long. This is also supported by the age range of the cast from 15 to 22 with most at 16-17 at the beginning of the year instead of having the younger and less experienced students at a different grade level. With a multigrade system unlikely though, how can we explain the number of students? There are 3 possibilities. First is that the class sizes are huge (conservative estimate is like 60/class, probably more based on cut scene estimates) with full day lecture classes. second is that there are only half day classes with half the students in morning class and the other half in afternoon class. Third is that there are actually more professors than shown.

The Central and Western Churches use the exact same rhetoric as shown in the Ashe-Catherine and Flayn-Seteth paralogues. We are divine and just and you are all heathens and sinners. Goddess this Goddess that. And both of them claim justifications for invasions under this rhetoric. Oh its not that you are politically inconvenient to me its that the Goddess says you are evil and I can’t argue with the Goddess so I have a moral obligation to strike you down. I wonder how many of them are actually delusional religious and how many are just using it as an excuse/cover.

I was thinking star or sun for claude because despite/because of everything he's an idealist. Like the sun guy in p3 akainori??? He take all that pain and tries to make the world a better placeInstead of a picture book though claude tries to revolutionize the worldAhhhhh I love this. theres so many narrative you can pull from these types of thingsDevil is like struggling with vice. Hubert's character arc deals withhis trouble connecting with people, his loyalty to edelgard, and what he has to do. Maybe justice? Rationality, jusgement, and themes of what is justice. Especially his convo with Hanneman that calls into question the execution of his fatherSeteth is probably hierophant as he's that one strict follow the rule book teacher we'vr all had. He also repeRepresents the chuch, authority, and the establishment (initially)Mercedes is a nurturing motherly type person with fits empress well. I take back the priestess statement from earlier. I think mercedes struggles are more external than internal (priestess is like more personal relationshio to spirituality and intuition). Wheel of fortune is an option? ?? Mercedes was born with a crest the her house fell and her step dad only wanted her mom for thr lamine crest. Then the church. then her adoptive dad wanting her for political gain theb the academy. A lot has been outside her control. Byleth is another good option for obvious reasons Edelgard is another good one given what happened in her childhood. If thing had been different she would be living a different life. Emperor could be another good one fore her since its about imposing your will on your surroundings

Dimitri’s stupid. I mean he’s using reasoning, but he’s jumping to conclusions when equally or more probable options are still there. I wouldn’t exactly believe Edelgard’s words either, but its clear Flame Emperor and TWSITD have their own separate agendas. Dimitrii’s  “edelgard is the root of all my sufferings” is like the same reasoning as edelgards “the church and its systems are the root of all suffering in Fodlan” but worse, at least Edelgard is half right.

Its honestly disturbing how willing Dedue is to erasing his autonomy and personhood.

timeskip time~ JP dimitri speech tone is much more calm it makes the dissonance with what he is saying all the weirder. He just making up excuses for his bloodlust now. “they” are “evil” so its ok to slaughter them. also yay monarchists, is gilbert actually relevant in this route???. Fleche and Randolf are actually relevant in this route???? I really hate Faergus. why are all of you following dimitri on his suicide run. why would you let the man clearly not in a good mental place decide the course of the army????

ch14: I mean getting ready to torture someone is one thing. but actually threatening me? You’re on my shitlist dimitri. Boy. You dare threaten me.

Woooowww its like watching a bunch of lemming run off a cliff

Rodrigue gets a bad rap in fandom because its true he’s not a great dad, but I don’t think he’s rock bottom either. He and Felix have different world views and he just has no idea how to deal with Felix. I’d be quite funny if it wasn’t so sad.

Dimitri doesn't have a rational bone in his body

In other news I'm getting kind of annoyed at everyone in azure moon.  Like heyyy maybe monarchy is a bad idea???

I read an interesting thought on why the prologue happened the way it did.  tldr: smear tactic against the church. It'd look bad if bandits even got close to the nation's heirs. And even worse if they got injured or killed. If one of them died, edelgard could get an advantage

hot take: Claude is naive in the same way Griffith is naive

another hot take: Claude is Buddha. or maybe Claude AS Buddha. Specifically the birth prophecy thing of kingdom vs all of time space

oh to clarify its about how Claude wants to change not only Fodlan and Almyra but the whole world. The Buddha thing is that there was a prophecy that he would either be an excellent king or like a spiritual leader whose teachings would echo through time around the world. so I want an AU

me finding out about dorothea's and mercedes backstories: who do I have to kill

Its implied in the hanneman supports that hubert’s dad might have been a part of the insurrection to protect hubert

I was imagining Ferdinand and Sylvain interacting and Sylvain probably hates Ferdie's guts and then in got dark first Ferdinand dislikes nobles that aren't noble so he'd probably disapprove. sylvain would see sheltered ferdinand and want to make him suffer as he has. not to mention Ferdinand ... always looks forward, he's always trying to improve himself and I can see sylvain resenting that and himself. on the flip side both hold the chavalier position in their house, and they both appreciate the fine arts. like ferdinand is out here being an obnoxious good boy championing everything sylvain hates

me looking at all the dudes Mercedes can A support: none of you deserve her. what are you bringing HER in this relationship

the only thing i likea about faerhgus is their flag. which is just so aesthetically pleasing

petra and edelgard are foils for each other.  they are princesses from opposite sides of a past war.  both are dedicated to their nations and seek to become the person their country deserves.  both are very driven.  each was for a period of their life removed from their home country.  but their positions are very different from one another.  edelgard and petra also have a low key friendly rivalry where they motivate each other to strive for more. they should have had an A support

I've been avoiding jeritza because his character concept seems like an edgier dimitri. So I'm just here to say i like his deaign. Partly covered face + long hair? Its like the devs are out for me by pairing that with a personality I don't get along with

Unpopular opinion but ignatz's part 2 haircut is super cute

i know someone here was plotting out a persona 5 cross over, but the more I think of it, dimitri belongs in persona 4.  that game's all about facing the parts of your personality that you don't want anyone else to see.  I mean feral dimitri is basically his shadow, that part of him that he rejects

A supports/total supports Claude: 10/13 Sylvain 4/16 So here's a comparison of how their trust issues affect their relationships. Claude might be incredible closed off and even in his A supports, still be with holding important information, but given enough time he can still potentially bond with a great number of people. While on the other hand Sylvain has destroyed his ability to form meaningful connections with people, so half of his A supports are people he already has a bond with. Sylvain is a bitter resentful boy and its getting in the way of his life. oh those supports are excluding byleths

Sylvain is deliberately stupid which makes him the true idiot here

i've been wondering, does dimitri's super strength randomly activate or is he like that all the time

Dimitri and sylvain. When 1+1=0

Chess club edelgard, hubert, sylvain, claude

Edelgard assumes there will be costs and doesn't try to find a way around it. That sort of glory in being killed is faerghus' thing

I really wish I could expierence the game in its full state. What we have in yhis reality is like a shadow of what it could have been.  I just want cf and vw to be their complete, best selves. Of all the routes, AM was written first and the only one that was completed and reached its full potential. VW and SS feel like half a route with of the other routes patched in to fill the gaps.  all of byleths lines in VW are suspiciously about rhea.  In some of the cutscenes theres graphical errors where the soldiers are wearing chuch colors instead of alliance.  Some parts of VW were clearing written fot SS and shoved in last minute.  Like the Edelgard scene. That scene makes mire sense in SS where byleth was her house leader, but not as much is VW where you barely talk to her. which is a shame because that’s one of my favorites.  Byleth's lines make sense in SS which is about rhea and saving the churcv but not in VW which is about whats really happening and Claude.  The same of course applies to SS, where seteth just says Claude's lines, and its so weird. And yet VW and CF are the strongest conceptually for me (or at least tickle my personal preferences). I also don't think any route should be seen in the absence of the others. Its is all 4 route together that show what the game is about. Focusing in on any one route is an incomplete picture.  Verdant Wind was so good and yet it could have been so much better.  That gap between the potential and the actual both angers and saddens me.  Also VW is the most big picture of all the routes. Instead of diving in, it takes a step back for perspective. You can see the war as a whole instead of just what's happenibg with faergus or adrestia. You see what's actually happening. That its not adrestria vs faregus but  the remnants of an ancient war still affecting modern politics from the dominance of the churcv to the agarthans who gave been stirring up shit for centuries.  Despite all its flaws Verdant Wind is also my favorite. Its not better than the other routes... but its spirit managed to reach my crusty old heart. Its like an ugly puppy. I just see all the places it could be better... (gronder field, and that ending??)

Hanneman legit reminds me of some of my professors. Well intentioned very nice people who are just incredible nerdy. A cute old man.

for all that many of Petra's ending end up in Nuvelle, its not actually all that close to Brigid. Seems like a mistake to me

claude badgering seteth to help him with his translations of old books

also its nice that 3h does not have the male as default thing and there are female background characters. Watching the starwars movies its weird that like every mook is male

dorothea and leonie co-chair the  let's-eat-the-nobles club.  claude and petra are both like fodlan nobles are weird and helpless with goofy dances

Ingrid and raphael competing at an eating competition.  Lysithea joins in because she wants cake

I have been overcome with the sudden urge to bully sylvain.  I want to see him make the sad pouty face

ferdinand is a good boy

I like to think that Agartha while progressing in some aspects, has also lost a lot of their technology in that they can still use it but no longer understand how it works

I want  more ignatz supports. I can see him bonding with ferdinand and dimitri strangely enough

Also claude and linhardt and claude competing for who can turn their room into a library first is so great

Again... still wondering what the climate and biogeography look like. Tall trees tend to be in wet temperate with good soil.  We knoe faerhgus is cold but not how cold.  All we know is that duscur ans sreng are cold and arid/semi arid.  We'd need some interesting wind patterns for fodlan to be temperate. If the northern coast is arid. The only way the interior is temperate is if wind is goinf north to south and gwtring trapped by tje central mountain range.  I dont think garreg mach is up in the himalayas

Sothis poorly grandmafriending byleth. Excellent

Playing AM and wow I forgot how much I want to punch dimitri I just want to off gilbert

I watched one of gilbert and annetes supports and wow I want to beat him into the ground all over again. Gilbert doesnt deserve a family

Ahhhh why did I play azure moon again. I'm stuck with gilbert the rest of the route!

i got a birthday letter from gilbert... i dun wan it

Linhardt really just does not care. Not about your "traditions"  or "laws". He only sort starts caring about "morals" after remire

Count Dominic: i have made the perfect crest bearing knight's daughter Me: you fucked up a perfectly good person is what you did. look at her. she's got anxiety. Me: prepare for pain.

Time to go beat up annettes uncle for giving her anxiety.  now I know where annettes fear of failure comes from... Annette deserves so much better

Sothis really is that gremlin living in the attic

I cant believe the reason dimitri made it past gronder was that his actions were so insane that so one could plan for them

I didn't expect ashe to be my mvp this time round... but he is.  Byleth and dimitri both have good strength but are squishy. Ashe's range is insane. He gets that skill that expands range + longbow + deadeye + horse + ring. And if thats not enough canto gets him back out of range. He crits on every other hit and has like a 60% crit rate with a killer bow. He kills everything in one turn. Armor units? Magic bow. Anything else he doubles and crits.

Alao update on the cornelia conspirqcy theory: busted

She just built firdiad a functioning sewer system

Back onto the debunking of the cornelia conspiracy theory  yeah she totally got replaced

Why am I playing azure moon.... I miss Claude

So the derdriu chapter in AM.... claude isnt as heartbroken aa in CF but he's not in a good place. I think he's mourning/coping with loss (the loss of possibilites, future, what could have been etc.) just like he was in CF. It also makea me think he's planning on invading fodlan in the future. I will need to think over this.

Gautier territory is a cold steppe and known for their horse breeding. Those hairy horses have to come from somewhere

Interestingly dimitri is 3/10 strongest in the army despite being a couple levels higher than everyone. So much for that Blaiddyd strength

Flayn is scared of being forgotten isn't she

Sylvain really takes care of dimitri huh

ahhh yeess claude in a poofy sleeved white shirt

Literally dimitri: no i dont "need rest". I have a headache but thats just from lack of sleep

Rodrigue and lambert ditching class getting high on the monastary roof

Faerhgus really is one giant death cult huh

Oh wow ingrid is like unhitable. High speed + evasion ring + avo+10 +alert stance+ + defiant avo

A-after many years I have finally finished azure moon... I think part of why I don't like azure moon is that it wasn't able to sell me on the rightful king narrative. And I CAN be sold on that as both Tolkien and Claude prove. That and the continued existence of gilbert. My loathing for that man is beyond expression

[sagginetahi]

How my evening of Black Excellence was almost ruined by the white man...

I had the pleasure of being immersed in the spectacular music of Black Violin at their concert last night in Charlotte, NC.  They are more than awesome, a wonder to behold and a definite must see!  My girlfriend and I “ooh’d and ah’d” the entire time.  And after the first song we promptly declared ourselves instant groupies!  My friend marveled  over how one of the violinist, Kev Marcus, smiled the entire time he performed on stage. I thought it was because he was clocking all the Benjamins he was making while doing something he apparently loved. Little did I know there was so much more behind it...

After the concert, as newly named groupies, we had to purchase some swag to show our love.  The line was long and there was only one poor, good spirited girl working the merchandise table so we decided to fall back  and wait a bit till it died down some.  Here enters how our marvelous, magical evening was marred by a white man reveling in both his power and  privilege.  

We decide to peek around to  the side of the merchandise table to sneak a look at the selection..  I have a penchant for buying the posters from any concert I attend.  I laminate them with the ticket, or if I’m lucky enough, with a picture of me and the artist to memorialize the moment.  A white man in theatre uniform standing next to us overhears my audible pondering of whether they have posters and confirms for me that they do.  He further  goes on to tell us a list of all the other things they have for sale, including their own line of  “rosin (rah-sin).”   I made a comment of how cool is that, they sell their own line of “resin” (reh-sin).  Excuse the faux pas but I was simply moved that they developed and manufactured their own brand to market.  I wasn’t prepared to engage in a debate of the correct pronunciation of the word.   Mr. I’m white so I’m right  immediately corrects me by saying, “it’s pronounced “RAH-sin.” Then proceeded to give us an education on what it is, what it’s used for and how the bows they used are made of horsehair etc.. and to add further insult to injury, he wasn’t 100 percent sure he was right himself, just sure enough to know that he knew more than me.*

My “racist” radar immediately begins to ping so I promptly turn away from him to end the conversation.  I could already tell what kind of dude I was dealing with and didn’t care to hear any more.   From that one moment, I was able to assess that he was the type to already assumed that the first 18 years of my life I spent arduously practicing classical piano every single day ,  while studying voice to sing with choirs  all over the world and marching in the band playing the flute (having started my musical endeavors playing violin first) - on top of  having a secret fetish of black women playing the bass; so in  other words I’m well versed in a) how to not only pronounce the words rosin and resin but the difference between the two and b) what it’s used for...didn’t matter in the moment to him.  He clearly saw me as a black woman who couldn’t possibly possess  that kind of knowledge because I was a black woman.  Now before you jump to the conclusion that I’m just jumping to conclusions, let me say that black people in America have learned to pick up on the subtle prejudicial cues of racist. See the movie ‘Get Out” for further explanation.

Well my friend, who is so much nicer than I am and overall likes people more than I do, decided to engage him further and ask him was he able to see the show and didn’t he think they were great?  Which is when I can only asses that he decided that after so effectively showing off his prejudice it was time to impress us with his privilege He says, “Oh yes, I had to work their show last night but the supervisor who was supposed to work tonight called me and said he needed me to come in because he was sick.” In other words, I’m in charge here. He informed us that he enjoyed the show,  and how incredibly talented they were.  Things were turning all warm and wonderful until my friend asks, again cause she’s engaging like that, “did he know about them before they came?”  

Oh, no he says, I had no idea what a Black Violin was.  Nervously, sensing the potential of where this conversation may go, I decided to jokingly help him out by saying “You probably thought it was someone literally playing a black violin huh?”  Dig that, I’m unconsciously trying to help the white guy not cross the racist line I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist and do anyway.  The plight of black existence in this country is so deep!  I take a breathe of relief because he jumps to take the bait, “Yeah, I didn’t know if it was a super expensive black violin or what.”  But then, instead of leaving it right there, being the white dude that the is, he had to take it further.  “I was totally surprised to see two thugs up there, with their hats to the back and sneakers on…”  My friend immediately looked at me.   She knows me well enough that I’m not about to let that slide because I never let an opportunity to put a white person in check just float on by.  And my first inclination was to do just that and ask, “Why they gotta be thugs?”    But for whatever reason, that I’m still trying to figure out, I didn’t.  Only reason that I’m coming up with so far is that I had already assessed that he as a jerk and didn’t feel like the karate chop I instinctively felt like giving him right in the neck would not be worth the consequences it would have incurred.  I did have to go pick up my children from the babysitter...   So I will admit that I let my people and myself down in the moment. Sometimes even the most vigilant revoLutionary is fatigued! But I must have given him one of my signature “you all kinds of wrong looks” (the one my daughter calls  “spanking me with your eyes”  when she was about four years old) because he did say after  the stereotypical, racist  comment he did say  that he as impressed at how they were able to marry hip hop and classical music in such a unique and likeable way.  In my attempt to speak for my people and perhaps make up for my aforementioned silence, I commented “Yeah, cause that’s how “we” do.”  Do you know what the white man had the nerve to say then?  Again, in the vein of let me help the uneducated, misinformed black woman that I must have appeared to be he says, “Well they kinda reminded me of (insert some white flute player who merged classical with rock music in the 70’s who I don’t even feel like googling the name to look up cause I’m so over this)”  Right then and there he further insults my intelligence by reminding me that all of black folks original ideas in this country were derived from whites.  You know like how Elvis really invented rock and roll even though he came after Chuck Berry and Little Richard.  Exasperated, I think at this point I literally turn completely away.  Stick a freaking fork in me, I’d officially DONE!

So back to the smile that Kev wears while performing.  Trying to erase the tarnish of white dude living in his white bubble I go on Black Violin’s Facebook page to make sure I’m following them and just revel again in how great my evening really was. The first thing I click is a video where the artists explain how they came up with what they do and the thought and work that went into coming up with their latest compilation, Stereotypes.  They clearly explain that they are attempting to overcome the stereotypes that exist about black folks and showcase the variety of who we are.  At the end Kev mentions that he smiles while on stage to soften the blow of him knowing that he is a big, black man and how intimidating that may be to some.  I was immediately brought back to the comment “thugs” and I was saddened and incensed once again.  Here was one of the musicians on stage intentionally smiling to make whites comfortable enough to hear his talent and they still referred to him as a thug!  So while I didn’t rise to the occasion last night and say what should have been said, I’m taking the time to say it now.  Listen racist white dude from the Knight Theatre and all others that still think they are the Lords of this Land called America,  please get out of your self absorbed bubble and realize that you share this land with others who have just as much right, if not more, to be here as you.  I’ll close with the words of Black Violin themselves from their new cut, “Invisible”... “You can pretend to not care, that won’t make me disappear.  As I rise it is clear, here I stand, here I am - I’m not invisible!”

*Rosin is the solid form of resin that musicians who play string instruments use on their bows to make them slide across the strings.  It’s like how oil lubricates the parts of the engine so there is no friction.

[katherineleitchba2a]

Aspects from Jekyll and Hyde:

·        Nice guy turns into mean guy

·        Emphasis on the Victorian’s hatred of deformation

·        Victorian

·        Jekyll gets to do things he otherwise couldn’t do without consequence.

·        The writer was on hallucinogenic drugs to treat his consumption. The idea came from a drug fuelled dream.

·        Mr Utterson is a bland character- used as a self-insert for the reader.

·        Transformation

 What I could do:

·        Modern era- incel turns into a chad.

·        Maybe Jekyll and Hyde are different people. Hyde is a nice man but is hated because he’s deformed (maybe this makes him bitter)

·        Jekyll turns into Hyde, who is a small man. Maybe superhero scenario where Jekyll can shrink?

·        Hyde has consumption and Jekyll gives him medication that makes him hallucinate. He dreams that he turns into a different person (maybe someone who wreaks havoc? Or someone who’s more confident than him and has more fun?) he finds out that they weren’t dreams and Jekyll was using him as a guinea pig and giving him a transformation potion without his consent.

·        Jekyll turns into a magical girl.

·        Assassin’s Creed animus scenario where the ‘main character’ sees the Victorian era through Utterson’s eyes.

·        Jekyll is a shape shifter who robs banks.

·        Main character takes advice from a small angel and demon on his shoulders. Jekyll is the angel, Hyde is the demon. (e.g: a small child is being annoying. Jekyll: They’re just a child, let them have fun. Hyde: Yeet the child.)

·        Hyde is a demon/ghost that possesses Jekyll’s body.

·        Jekyll and Hyde are separate people. They both take part in one of Jekyll’s experiments to switch bodies. Jekyll wants to escape the uptight propriety of high society and Hyde wants to experience a luxurious life. Maybe Hyde in Jekyll’s body gets called to a medical emergency?

·        Jekyll is a mean and bitter old man. He makes a potion that’s supposed to make him strong and powerful but instead it makes him into a sweet young man/woman. He deems the experiment a failure since he made the potion so he could gain respect. He gets addicted to the potion and keeps using it. The joy and optimism from his transformed self creeps into his regular self and he is nicer. He fakes his death and permanently becomes his transformed self. He gets more joy out of his life.

·        Jekyll has a split personality.

·        Jekyll robs a bank and gets away with it- he was able to do something he wouldn’t normally do without any consequences.

·        Jekyll murders someone and completely changes his image so the police can’t find him.

[shakesonaplane]

Throwback Blog Post: “Top 5 Airplane Personalities”

Season’s greetings my intrepid band of misfits. I hope the coming weeks bring some sort of wonderful holiday cheer and joyous good times. If you’re like me, you’re huddled around something warm right now as the Northern Hemisphere plunges into the cold abyss that is the winter (#brr). In my meandering on the internet and my old archives, I somehow stumbled upon a blog I wrote from back in College / University. In reading through my realized how frightfully embarrassing that whole thing is (not that this is any less embarrassing mind you), but I did find a gem that really brought a smile to my day.

So instead of some trip recap (and because I’m lazy), I’d like to offer you a throwback post from 2008 where I decided to tell the world that I’m a pathological liar when I travel. Given the upcoming increase in your travel plans, I figure what better time to remind everyone that airplanes are sincerely a fun place to make some new friends. So, without much further ado, I present an “anshubhaiyya” special from 9 years ago on how much I enjoyed messing with people on airplanes as a young adult.

In case you’re wondering what I looked like in 2008 when I wrote all of this insanity (only things that haven’t changed are the hairy arms)

Hi I’m Ken Adams - Top 5 Airplane Personalities

I love airports…well, I take that back, I don’t like being in them when I’m in a rush or when I’ve just had my fourth cavity search, but I love to people watch. When you go to an airport, everyone is so busy and so hustled that people’s real, unfriendly selves come out. Whether its the angry mother with her four kids being rowdy, who she normally handles well but given the lack of Sesame Street or toys, she’s stuck keeping them occupied…or the busy business person who doesn’t seem to notice there are other people in lines or on escalators and always has a damn bluetooth headset attached (btw its funny to talk as the other part of their conversations and watch their reactions)…or the harassed traveler who is stuck in a place they don’t want to be because of weather and they’re either yelling or sleeping due to exhaustion from too much yelling…

But, when you get on that plane, you’re forced to sit and be nice to a person who is far too close for comfort…and if you’re like me you’re usually alone in traveling so you don’t know this woman/man and have to be cordial and polite for any amount of flight time while all you wish was that you could land and do something mildly interesting…..the best, though, is how people tend to strike up conversations with each other in order to make the time fly….maybe even asking thought provoking questions but usually just trying to keep the conversation going because, let’s face it…if you start and stop abruptly it’s just awkward

So, this guy sitting next to you on the flight, they don’t know you and chances are you’ll never meet them again….so what do I do? I lie….I make up who I am and where I’ve come from and what I’m doing because, to me, that’s more interesting…the more exciting you are the more fun you can have with people and in turn, the more fun they have….it’s fun to meet someone interesting, so much so that you feel better about your trip given a fun tidbit of information or a cool personality (see Fight Club)…

1) The Child Prodigy

A lot of us like to travel as comfortable as possible, and in doing so we tend to wear shirts, hoodies or hats that have our school’s name on them….so usually a good way to start a conversation with this person is to see their age and ask, “oh do you go to school there?”…to which one can simply reply…”oh no, I actually teach”…the cover story I used was that I was a child prodigy and graduated high school at age 14, college at age 17 and got my Ph. D. last year (usually I’m about 21 or 22)…people are usually astounded and I say “no, it’s not that great, I don’t have tenure yet, just an assistant professor” and when asked about what you teach, make up some information about the last final or test you took and run with it….whether you’re an economics guru or a biological whiz or whatever…this one is always fun because the first look you get is the “what the hell?” look to which you can laugh and say “I know, sounds crazy…”

2) The identical twin

This particular way doesn’t usually work, unless you sit next to someone who barely recognizes you (someone from school or an extracurricular or someone that hardly knows who you are)….this is actually what started, for me, the lying on airplanes…One day when I met a girl I recognized from high school debate (nerdy, yes), she ended up sitting next to me in the small hometown airport….she was a HUGE ass kisser/gunner/bitch/etc. but wanted to befriend me on the plane….she led with a “have we met”…so I countered with the “no, I’m sorry” and when she said I looked familiar and had I done debate I said, “oh, no that was my twin brother Abhishek….yeah my name is Neil, I didn’t do all that…he did”….after which I spoke about myself in the third person to her and just basically made up whatever I liked…where I went to school, how I was doing, what I had said about debate/her/Harvard (where she went)….sometimes talking about yourself as someone else to someone else who actually thinks they know your original self can be fun…write that down

3) The Arranged Marriage-er

This one always kills because of the ethnic card I have…see being a young Indian man flying to and from random cities can get really annoying…people tend to glare at you, almost afraid you’re a ticking bomb…so when you sit down next to your John/Jane Doe…you start to fidget, act uncomfortable, and ultimately ask them if they’re married (it usually helps if they are)…when they reply, you start asking interesting, thought provoking questions about married life in America (accented is a plus), and ultimately end the line of questioning with…”well that was probably easier bc you met your spouse well before”…after they try to figure it out….you start with the ethnic barbaric nature so many people think exists….I’m only 22 but it’s a good marriage age…my parents found a wonderful person from India who is our caste and all the stars and signs agree we’re a great match…I’ve met her a few times but I’m on this plane to go to my wedding…they live in ______ (insert town) and basically I’m going to be married in a few days….then just sit back and watch as they ponder the crazy arrangements, they congratulate you, or they are shocked….my ultimate goal is to have a champagne toast or something with the cabin after several people hear about it…but yes, this is one of my favorite airplane personalities bc marriage makes people happy

4) The Professional Dancer

This tends to work best if you’re flying to and from a major city….I first used this on a trip from LAX to Chicago…sometimes when people ask you what you’re doing in a certain city, this is a good way to go….it’s hard to be a professional singer or actor or athlete because more people will attempt to look for you or even know if you’ve been in certain things (unless you want to be totally aspiring but that’s no fun)…so I went the dancer route…you’re traveling from your home in City A to a concert in City B for _______ (insert obscure musician) in which you’re a backup dancer….you can start talking about influences, styles and even tell the person of where they might’ve seen you (“If you ever see a video with a group called N’Sync…called Pop, I was in the background of the ____ scene)…then you can start talking about the business, people you know, potential sexualities….it’s always quite fun

5) The Young Entreprenuer

Sometimes you find yourself sitting on flights and you’re dressed better than you should….you might be wearing a suit or just a nicer outfit than most and we all tend to own nice electronics like iPods and things…so this one I’ve devised on a trip back from NYC when I changed into my only clean (but very dressy) clothing…go with what you like but I tend to start my young millionaire personality as an online store that sells something really random…chairs are a good one, also random software, designer kitchenware, video gamer sites…basically anything that most people wouldn’t look at as millionaire making….when people ask what you do you say, oh well I’m just outta college but I’m working on my company, which I started in HS…right now we’re private but we’re getting enough buzz to warrant publicly selling to google/ebay/apple, whatever…basically running with the idea that you’re set for life and all you want to do is make more money…it’s always a good idea to have a company name in mind in case, but usually you can be small enough to be under the radar of most people….being a young millionaire can be fun too, because you can talk about the dream cars you own, the trips you’ve taken and, if you have an elderly person, it’ll melt their heart if you say you’ve made it so you’re parents don’t have to work anymore…

…Just to let you know, I don’t think lying is a great thing to do…the idea is that having fun is important and this person who you’ll never see again will only understand you as that interesting person they met on a plane….in a way you’ll brighten their day…people usually live their lives in such an ordinary, routine and mundane fashion that a little spark is always fun….so if you get away with your personality, you’ve made someone’s day more interesting and made yours more fun…it’s a win-win….

Well, that was generally an odd experience to re-read :) Hope you enjoyed that little trip down memory lane and have some fun ideas for what you’d like to do on your next holiday travel flight. Next year I’ll be back with loads more travel and hopefully some great stories to go along with them. Till then, Merry Christmas/Hanukkah/whatever it is you celebrate!

Cheers (and, for the throwback, jsk)! Abhishek