#and i'm feeling better but still annoyed | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

royalarchivist · 9 months

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Phil: Doin' a lot of traveling around the New Years. Oh boy, oof. Oh golly, oh gee. But it should be worth it! It should be really good. I'm looking forward to it, Kristin's looking forward to it.

Random Chatter: What about Tallulah and Chayanne?

Phil: I told them already what's going on. I already told them. They already know when I'm getting back and all that stuff, so.

Random Chatter: The cookies though?

Phil: [Shrugs] So? I'm... physically not here? [Laughs] There's more things - there's more important things in life than feeding a virtual egg cookies, I'm sorry to say, dude. [Laughs]

Random Chatter: Get Tubbo to feed eggs cookies.

Phil: [Laughs and mimics the chatter in an annoying voice] "Get this person!" "Get that person!" ALSO IGNORING THOSE PEOPLE ALSO HAVE LIVES! Jesus Christ. That says a lot about what you think of your streamer. Oh my god, dude. Let them have a fcking week off man! Let the Eggs have a week off, you kidding me? They're people, too, they're admins!

Random Chatter: The eggs need to live.

Phil: They do! By having a week off! [Laughs] Leave them alone! Holy fck! Good lord... If I- if- Dude. If anyone in my chat is genuinely like gonna come into stream, and like - be pissed off that different members of QSMP are just not logging in, I'm banning you on the spot, 'cuz that is so fcking toxically online of you. That is SO chronically online of you. You need to take a break, and I'm giving you that break. I'm forcing you to take a break from your PC. Fckin' get up from the - look away from the screen.

#Philza #Phil #QSMP #For real though it's WILD that some people genuinely have that mentality #People forget that the ccs need breaks and so do the Eggs!#many of whom are in college #and hell even if they weren't #they still need a break!#Plus it's the holidays #Context for this conversation in case it wasn't clear: Phil was talking about leaving for the holidays and said others will be too #and some random chatters got annoying spamming about the Eggs and saying they'll die #I didn't catch this live but I'm watching the VOD #Idk. QSMP is almost a year old and people still get worried about the same stupid stuff #''The eggs are gonna die! No one will take care of this specific Egg unless I spam their name in chat 100000 times!''#''Nobody cares about my fave and clearly I know better than actual members of the server''#Like. c'mon man be serious #Everyone loves the Eggs #I feel like a lot of fans really do need to unplug and remember that it's not that serious #and this is coming from someone who bawled their eyes out at Bobby's death #real ass people's lives matter more. Let them take a break #Q's said so many times that they Eggs matter and he wouldn't just kill them all off for the hell of it #anyhoo #December 25 2023 #Q #Subtitles #Edited

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crimeronan · 6 months

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listen this isn't a productive sentiment and there's a less condescending way to phrase this but as i'm in pain and irritated:

unfortunately for people with ADHD who are obsessed with being oppressed and having a terrible life, some physical illnesses are actually worse than ADHD. some physical illnesses do worse things to your life. and are more disabling.

some physical illnesses just fucking are objectively worse.

like i'm sorry i know it's hard to hear because you hear "some things are worse than ADHD" and interpret it as "ADHD is a fake nonexistent condition for lazy faker babies with no impact on quality of life," and i truly don't know how i can hold your hand about that. like i shouldn't have to stand up with a megaphone screaming n crying to get you to understand that ADHD is absolutely fucking NOT the worst thing that can happen to your brain or body.

and some physical illnesses will get you TREATED worse than people with ADHD are. by the public and your family and doctors alike. particularly if you're fat or a person of color or elderly or, god forbid, several of these things.

and being visibly physically disabled is not a privilege. because people will Still ascribe it to a moral failing or to faking or to being annoying, exactly like they ascribe your ADHD to being a lazy annoying faker. and you cannot turn it off. you are at the mercy of everybody around you. every day you simply need to pray that others are kind, because you are helpless in how you are perceived.

and of course invisible physical disabilities are subject to the same cruel assumptions that people make about ADHD as well (lazy, faker, attention whore, pathetic).

the difference between certain physically disabled people's experiences and the ADHD experience is that the physical disability is worse.

granted, not every physical disability is worse! physical disability and its impact on quality of life is a Vast Spectrum.

but some are worse.

like. they just are. They Just Are.

it is not oppression olympics to say this. it is just a fucking fact.

there can be no solidarity between ADHD people and people with physical disabilities (or other disabilities that make life Much Fucking Harder than ADHD), until people with ADHD stop fucking assuming that ADHD is the worst thing that can happen to a person.

like. i HAVE cripplingly hyperactive ADHD. but i am fucking TIRED of ADHD bloggers n influencers writing thinkpiece essays like "uwu, guys, maybe we should actually be Nice to physically disabled people!! and stop using them as gotchas in our arguments!! i just learned their lives are hard too!! sometimes doctors even belittle and torture them for funsies!! just like us!!"

like.

......YOU ARE THE DOMINANT ONLINE VOICE ON DISABILITY RIGHT NOW. EVERY VISIBLE NEURODIVERSITY ACTIVIST HAS ADHD. THAT IS WHAT NEURODIVERSITY IS IN THE EYES OF THE VERY ONLINE PUBLIC.

YOU JUST FUCKING LEARNED THIS????

#if i was feeling like an activist this would be a sweet gentle handholding post.#but since i'm just annoyed. COME ON. GET BENT. FUCKING HELL.#saw a post that was well-intentioned and didnt do anything wrong and still made my blood fucking BOIL #this should NOT be a conversation we are still having. you people should FUCKING KNOW BETTER. IT'S 2024. JESUS.#adhd tag #autoimmune tag #negative

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trans-cuchulainn · 1 year

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"i'm not bad at this language, i'm just bad at social interaction, promise": a neurodivergent language learner's catchphrase

#give me three minutes to sort my sentences into the right order and you'll get them in either english or irish #put me on the spot however and you're getting fuck all tbh #langblr #languages #i feel like i didn't make a very good impression these last couple of weeks #in that everyone would've thought i knew less than i do #and I'm also frustrated with myself for not being able to speak more #but i was fully on the verge of shutdown most days. i think I'm still too fatigued from the insane past month I've had #i went into this exhausted and mentally broken #also it doesn't really matter what other people thought of me #but it feels like it matters and that's weird and painful and annoying #because i think i was misinterpreted by everyone who met me this week #(gender. irish level. interest level. friendliness. humour.)#and i think they might've liked the real me better but i lacked the spoons to convey myself

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piko-power · 1 month

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My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)

When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.

She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.

She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.

She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.

...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.

Remember this line?

You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:

Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?

...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)

As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.

She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.

I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.

...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.

I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.

And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.

She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.

During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.

She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.

But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.

Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.

...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?

But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.

If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.

I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.

She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.

Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.

So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.

She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.

For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.

She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.

But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.

If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.

But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.

He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.

He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)

She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.

He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.

Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.

They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.

None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.

They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.

Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.

It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.

Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.

She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.

She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...

She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.

I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.

How much he loves her.

And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.

Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.

It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.

She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.

I feel like this moment here...

-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.

Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.

And it's all thanks to Sonic.

If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.

Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.

He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.

Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.

Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.

They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.

"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"

"Wouldn't dream of it."

#piko rambles #sonic the hedgehog #amy rose #Meant to be platonic but I don't care if you tag as ship lol #I've been meaning to post something like this for the longest time now but never really got into posting it-#-because you guys REALLY hate seeing these two together for some reason.#Well not for SOME reason. There are valid reasons why you don't ship them. Everyone has valid reason why they don't ship this or that.#But sometimes those reasons can just sound so petty to me. Like the reason why is because Amy is a stalker or Sonic hates her which is FALS #Also those age gap arguments are understandable but so goddamn annoying sometimes. Maybe when they hit their late teens or early twenties-#then they can be together if they want to. Besides a good percentage of Sonic ships are better off if they waited til they're old enough im #I love them regardless of whether they're just friends or an awkward older cringe fail couple lmao #But them being just friends and hiding away all their emotions towards each other just to keep them safe and happy with them- 😭😭😭#Son/adow is my favorite ship of all time and sonamy is my favorite childhood ship/platonic ship because they both have one thing in common.#ANGST 😀#I've been thinking about Sonic and Amy's dynamic as of late and MAN-#Mixed with some personal headcanons of mine and their dynamic as of late just makes me so emotional.#Sonic and Amy have gotten so close now and it's so sweet but so heartbreaking at the same time when you think about it.#I'm so happy they are getting along better and being there for each other but there is so much to dissect here. So much to think about.#I might be a little silly but Amy losing her parents and being alone for so long and being the reason why she's always hanging onto Sonic-#-explains SOOOOOOOOO much about her. At least that's my headcanon for WHY that is.#Amy with abandonment issues speaks to me on a personal level. I'm always afraid of being forgotten or left behind by my family.#I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough no matter how hard I try. I do not blame Amy. I relate to her a lot. It's one of the many reasons #-why Amy is my favorite character besides Sonic and Shadow.#She fights hard to prove she's a valuable member of the team and hates getting left behind but despite all that she wasn't afraid to-#-express herself and her love for people. But after the Eggman War there was some changes that made her less expressive about her love.#Yeah she still loves Sonic but she doesn't admit it because none of that matters anymore and she thought that not being loved by Sonic #-is better than being loved since she nearly wasted her life loving someone who she thought has constantly bothered. 🥲#But I think after TMoStH I think she'll be less afraid of being expressive about it. She and Sonic are just so caring for each other 😭#I love these two way too much that when I think about them for too long I'll start SOBBING 😭😭 I'M EVEN SOBBING RIGHT NOW LMAO

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icewindandboringhorror · 9 months

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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

#cats #holiday #OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few #days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart #rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart #so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag #and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day #last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few #hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent #ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect #because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make #me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these #'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a #few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is #getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better #and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo #I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c #Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after #like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was #doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally #ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully #whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos #ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely #though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart #stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive #things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***

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thethingything · 2 months

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the thing about people setting boundaries with us is that it means I don't have to worry as much about whether they secretly think I'm really annoying or whatever, because if they've set boundaries and told me when stuff I do bothers them in the past, then I know they're willing to tell me if I'm doing something they don't like, and can assume that if they haven't said anything, I'm probably fine

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #it's nice because it's like ''oh god what if I'm actually being really annoying? oh wait... they would have told me. okay cool''#also people communicating stuff very directly is great just in general #we have friends now who will just say things directly so we don't have to read between the lines #and it's so much better and we have a much easier time communicating #especially because we feel more comfortable saying ''I think I misunderstood this. can you clarify?''#and being open about where we have difficulty when it comes to understanding what people are saying #at the same time it is absolutely wild having people be patient with us and willing to clarify things and accommodate for us #we're very much not used to it and it still catches us off-guard but in a good way

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palettepainter · 2 months

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Amazon: HEEEY!~ Hazbin hotel is getting a second season!

Me: Oh okay, that's cool I guess.

Amazon: They'll be even MORE action this season!! We're gunna focus on Alastor's backstory, and Pentious will be a key character, and Vox is gunna be a more prominent protagonist, and we'll show off more overlords, and Vaggie and Charlie get a "sexy life"~

Me: Uh-huh. And I can only assume that this season has a bigger episode count so that any of those plot points you mentioned have time to breath for more then ten minutes unlike season 1?

Amazon:

Me:.....You're gunna give this season time to breath ri-

Amazon: WE HAVE MERCH AT HOT TOPIC NOW TOO!!~

(Incase people don't read the tags: The reason this annoys me so much isn't because I hate the show, it's because I want this show to do well. I want this show to make me feel like I should care for any of it's characters and plot points because it's well made, not because it's been created by an artist who is already popular online. I truly believe the animators and voice actors are giving it their all for this show, the voice acting is honestly the best quality in my opinion and everyone nails their roles, but the writing and pacing has so far been a cluster fire.

This is a legit show now, it's being funded by Amazon's money with literal broadway stars as parts of the cast. If season 1 taught the people creating this show anything it's that there needs to be breathing time for the plot points and the characters, and I sincerely hope that season 2 takes this into account. I doubt it with how much they've said they're going to include, but I really hope that, for animation as a whole - cuz god knows Disney hasn't been pumping out good animated movies as of late - season 2 takes into account what season 1 did poorly and improves on it)

#stfg-#If the voice acting in season 1 wasn't as stunning as it was I would be totally lost on this show #tbh I kind of am the voice acting is the only thing keeping me semi hooked #We can't really say the animation is great still cuz....it's being funded by Amazon's money now soooo what did we execpt?#You'd think after the shitstorm the pacing was in season 1 and the writing that they'd learn the show needed a bigger episode count #But NOOOOOO lets just throw in MORE plot points! And MORE characters because we DON'T HAVE ENOUGH ALREADY!#Just throw even more story into this dumpster fire cuz THE FANS WILL GET IT!! THE FANS WILL LOVE ANYTHING CUZ IT'S HAZBIN!!~#For the record: I want to confirm the reason I'm so annoyed is because I WANT this show to good #I want it to be well written and I want it to make me care about the characters #I want this show to make me feel like I should care because so far I don't #The writing is all over the place the pacing so far has been whack and Charlie doesn't evedevelop a deep connection with any of the #characters in the show aside from her pre-established girlfriend #Season 2 had better show some improvement writing and pacing wise because there isn't an excuse now #This is a legit show being funded by Amazon's money the writing needs to be better

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