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totallypathet · 3 years

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UK Episode Five

UK Hun?

I know I haven't at all talked about Drag Race UK this season, but I have ~opinions~ and my flatmate is getting bored of me so here we are.

First episode back after lockdown! I feel so bad for these queens, started filming, get sent home for seven months, have no idea if/when they're going to start filming again, lose income for 7 months, it must have been so awful. But I'm glad they're all back! Except poor Veronica who got covid - I hope they do a Eureka and invite her back for season 3, I feel like she had so much more to show!

Of course they brought someone back to replace her, typical drag race gag, but nice that someone else got another chance! Having said that, it should have been Astina. She didn't deserve to go home in the first place, imo. I do think it was kind of harsh to throw that at everyone first thing though! Like the eliminated three didn't get to do anything to even fight for it, and for all the remaining queens, like its been seven months! Who remembers things that long?? Not me, that's for damn sure. I think that was kind of harsh, and I think a lot of people did go for Joe maybe as a safe choice, like there's always an argument for the queen who went home first, they didn't really get to show much. You know what I wish, I wish those three had been a group for the Eurovision (I refuse to say Rurovision) challenge, and then everyone got a chance to vote someone back. That would have felt fairer somehow.

Anyway. I was initially really glad we got Joe back, because I really felt like she did have more to show. I was soon to be disappointed, however 😂

I do love the music challenges, and I adore MNEK, I hope he is like the permanent music judge. One of my favourite moments was him, I think it was after Bimini's first take, going "well...its good that we have that..." very like Chrissy Teigen 😬 that was so funny to me, I loved it.

1. A'Whora

Before the covid break I really didn't like A'Whora, but I feel like she's come back a bit more relaxed, a bit more open, and I liked her so much more this episode. I feel like maybe when she came back she was a bit more relaxed because she knew (kind of) what she was walking into, so she felt a but more at home, maybe. Anyway, I think she did really well this week! She's not a singer, but she leaned into this moany sexy thing that some people do do at Eurovision, and hey, sex sells! I think it was a smart choice for her.

Her look as well... amazing. You guys it was a bag of chips! She had wooden forks as her earrings! The font of the newspaper was to scale! She was carrying a salt shaker! It was so sick, I loved it. I loved seeing her be fashion and polished and beautiful, but also whimsy and funny at the same time! Great week for A'Whora.

2. Bimini Bon Boulash

We LOOOOOOOVE Bimini Bon Boulash! For me, she was the absolute stand out this week, I just adored her! Her verse was amazing, her lyrics were great, her very East London attitude was everything, I just loved it. And her outfit! That mad pink cowboy barbie? Incredible! Also, so Eurovision. And the jump off the stool! That lives in my head rent free. "Somebody do a death drop or summing!" Perfect. The whole performance was amazing.

Also her runway looooooook! It was so beautiful, so fashion, I was getting Gautier from that lace and the umbrella... everything about it to me was so perfect. I know it was a team win, but to me Bimini absolutely killed it, and she was my winner 🥰🥰

3. Ellie Diamond

I love Ellie, but honestly I think she's too young for this competition. She's so great, but if you give her just a couple more years, she's going to be absolutely unstoppable. I think she did pretty well this week, her lyrics were fun, she is a dancer, she performed great! I do agree with Michelle, she did look a little bit like she was in her head for a lot of the performance, but that just comes with confidence, and when you've not performed for 7 months and then suddenly you're on the main stage, that's got to be super nerve wracking!

I also think Ellie was a victim of a bad group this week. I think the group as a whole didn't have a lot of direction or focus, the choreography wasn't that great, they didn't really feel like a group. It was unfortunate. I feel like she did the best she could.

I kind of loved her runway, I think the seagull thing was hilarious! She was a human size seagull! That's hysterical. The only thing I kind of wish is that she'd had ridiculous padding on. Like, what's funnier than a giant seagull with huge tits in a bikini. I think that's so funny.

4. Joe Black

Oh Joe. I was excited for Joe to come back, but as soon as she walked out to the Eurovision challenge in that dress with that wig and a belt, I knew it was over.

I'll get into the dress H&M/Primark drama in a second, but first let's talk about the actual challenge. Joe's lyrics were pretty good, but the way she performed them was just so at odds with the track. It's cheesy Euro pop, you know? I just feel like she could have done things differently. And then with the choreo...look I don't expect anyone to walk in being a great dancer and doing flips and splits and all that, but I just felt like she didn't even really try with the moves Ellie and Tia wanted to do. Maybe that was the edit, I don't know. I also feel like, as team leader, she could have found some solutions, like they could've had Tia & Ellie doing these amazing moves, and Sister & Joe could have done something more simple, or they could have found some comedy Joe could lean into while the others were dancing, but it just seemed like they didn't even try and find a way around it? It was just a bit weird to me.

And then she came out for the runway, and it was like chalk and cheese. Joe Black had by far and away the best runway look of the night. That's one of my favourite things that's ever been worn on UK Drag Race, it was amazing. But it was also like girl if you can do that, why were you wearing H&M during the main challenge? And like, I'd get it, if that dress was beautiful, or bold, or she'd used it as a base and done something to it, but it wasn't. It was so basic, and she even said she knew it was basic, and it didn't even fit her right. It was just so disappointing.

Honestly, I understand what Ru was saying about not wanting to see off the rack. I can't believe I'm about to be defending Transphobia Paul, but I actually kind of agree. And it's not about money, I don't think anyone has to spend loads of money to be a good drag queen, I think its just about it being a Look. A Moment. Like this is internationally available TV. And you're going to come out to perform in a dress off the sale rack that you just threw on and belted? I just find that disappointing. And I get what people are saying about Astina in week 1 winning with an off the rack outfit, but at least she did something with it. I mean, first of all it at least was a cool jacket. But then she built this outfit, and sold a character, she gave us an East London Moment, and it didn't matter that the jacket was from ASOS.

Joe didn't give us anything with that dress. She did nothing with it, and she didn't give us a character or a presentation, it was just an ugly dress. But then she came out in that incredible runway look, why such a disconnect? And I know that it was covid, and everyone had a loss of income, but girl the filming started before that. Like Joe should have already had the wardrobe for the season all ready before the lockdown. And if she didn't, she had 7 months to do literally anything with that dress. Stone it, glitter it, paint it, dye it, wreck it with bleach, make it a top, make it a jacket, do SOMETHING! You know? Also, that runway look? Idk if she made it or commissioned it, but baby that was not cheap. That took time, and energy, and effort, and money, so I'm calling bullshit on "maybe she could only afford a sale rack H&M dress 😔". Bullshit, Vivienne.

I was just so disappointed in Joe. I'm glad she went home.

5. Lawrence Chaney

I was worried for Lawrence this week! She's not known for being a singer or a dancer, and she was the only plus size girl in her group. As a big bitch myself I know it can be intimidating to be surrounded by thin people, especially when you're doing things you're not confident in.

But bitch she fucking turned it out this week! She wrote good lyrics, she kept up with the choreography, but most importantly, she performed the song. Like she leaned into not being a good dancer, she didn't look unsure or awkward, she just did it. I love that about Lawrence, she always just gives it her best, and I respect the hell out of it.

Her day at the seaside look was cute. It was a little bit obvious, a little bit literal, but it was well made, it fit her beautifully, and she looked fantastic. She did the assignment, and tbh I'm happy with that. She did a good job, and I'm proud of her!

6. Sister Sister

Honesly, the fact that Tia Kofi was in the bottom two when Sister Sister was right there is a fucking hate crime.

I genuinely forgot Sister Sister even existed. Like the only memorable thing she has done all season is her Morning Talk Show goth, and that was painful to watch. And she spends all her confessionals just bitching and moaning about other people! She spent the whole Talk Show episode complaining about Veronica and saying she didn't wanna work with her, but bitch what did you do?? If you think someone else is boring, you should have no trouble out shining them! And then she didn't!

I'm over it with her. Her performance wasn't that good, her lyrics weren't that good, and then her runway look was like the Wish version of A'Whora's.

I'm not totally certain that I buy that Sister stole it as a concept from A'Whora, but... maybe? Like, if Sister had really seen A'Whora's when they were filming the first time, and Sister had something totally different back then... I can see that maybe she thought "oh, thats a way better idea". All I know is, if you're gonna do the same look as someone else, you better leave them in the dust; and she didn't. She should have been lipsyncing this week.

7. Tayce

Tayce really pulled it out this week! Her rap was one of the best performances in the whole show, she killed it! Her lyrics were great, she really delivered them like a rapper, and them she performed the hell out of the song! Loved it. The only things I had to say about Tayce was that she seemed like the odd one out in the group in terms of outfits? Like everyone else went very Eurovision, cheesy pop pink, and she went with a very cool, edgy, darker look. Like, she looked stunning, and I looooved her hair, but it just didn't quite fit with the rest of the group. But that's a real nitpick, in terms of the actual performance, she was amazing!

Tayce's runway look. It was okay. It was a little bit literal for me, she went for shells and netting. It was cool, she looked beautiful, but it wasn't like a knockout for me.

8. Tia Kofi

Tia got a raw fucking deal this week. She was the best performer in her group by a country fucking mile, she had the best lyrics, she was the best rapper, and I think she looked the best out of the four in that group (during during challenge). I could not believe they put her in the bottom two.

Okay, her runway look was not great. It was a long way from great. But at least she had a unique concept (*cough* Sister), and she gave us some form of presentation. It could have been a lot better, but there was potential! I really wish that she'd had a much more defined look, I wish the skirt had been a high waisted pencil skirt, with some kind of cone-like texture somehow, really fitted and beautiful. And then I wish the top had been really big and over the top ruffles, maybe tulle, just something BIG. And that wouldn't have had to be expensive, you can buy cheap pencil skirts, she could have dyed one brown herself, and then she could have bought that cheap mesh that looks like tulle and made a really big rounded ice cream top out of it - I'm just proving my point about Joe Black and the off the rack thing now btw. But I wish it had just been a bit more considered than it was. And I also wish she'd had a flake head piece instead of a cherry, because when you buy those ice creams at the beach it's always a 99.

One thing I will give Tia's runway this week is that her face was stunning. I think that's the best her face has looked all season, the makeup was beautiful.

There was kind of a lot of drama this week with the whole off the rack thing, and then the A'Whora vs Sister Sister conspiracy, and I kind of loved it! I also really enjoyed this challenge, I feel like they've had much better and more interesting challenges on the UK series than the American one. Also UK Hun is going to be in my head for weeks.

I'm picking my top 2 of the season as Lawrence Chaney and Bimini Bon Boulash. Veronica Green would have been up there for me as well, it's a real shame that she got sick and couldn't finish this season! I really really hope they bring her back for season 3!

#drag race uk #uk drag race #rpdruk #a'whora #bimini bon boulash #bimini #ellie diamond #joe black #lawrence Chaney #sister sister #tayce #tia kofi #rupaul #michelle visage #graham norton

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reversecreek · 3 years

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ziggy strutting up to me like this gif as i hold up a crucifix n say begone begone vile beast BEGONE from my vicinity i will NOT buy u a happy meal wretched little boy...... some live action rp to start this off..... and SCENE. takes my bow. his pinterest is here n his playlist is here.

* dylan minnette, cis male + he/him | you know ziggy benson, right? they’re twenty-four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of his life? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to hand crushed by a mallet by 100 gecs like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole glitching televisions impaled by remotes, nonchalantly texting the babes as a stove fire ravages your kitchen & cartoons turned up so loud it fries your eardrums thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is november 24th, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her )

HISTORY;

from the second ziggy ws born he didnt stop screaming. within the first hours of his life he gave his father an ear splitting headache tht prompted him to say “that uncooked chicken’s fucking demonic” n joke abt popping “it” in the oven to roast. when this understandably received disgusted glances frm the nursing staff he ws all like “jeez alright alright i’m kiddin i’m kiddin can’t a guy have a joke around here?” n i feel like that sets up their dynamic so nice n sweetly <3 (sarcasm) (lips pursed)

frm day one he ws just honestly a rly hyperactive child. when he laughed he’d shriek it out at the absolute top of his lungs bc he’d just get this huge giddy surge of energy all the way to the very tips of his toes n it’d hit him like a shock from a fork in a plug socket. their parenting style ws rly just lazy tbh.... they didn’t have much time for disciplining him. ziggy’s mum wld halfheartedly be like “ziggy quiet now....” n then go bk to nuking whatever vegetables she’d defrosted until they tasted like dinosaur bones..... this wld not make any difference in ziggy’s behaviour

his father rly just took the stance that it ws ziggy’s mum’s job to discipline him or raise him in general which is. 🔪 please enter the 20th century sir.... get ur noggin sorted..... needless to say he wsn’t much involved in ziggy’s life n honestly generally jst didn’t like him. ziggy was a responsibility he didn’t want (accidental prregnancy) n in his literal words once said (blatantly while ziggy ws watching cartoons on the sofa) tht ziggy just “harshes my fucking vibe a lil bit”.

he wound up leaving when ziggy was six ish.... ziggy watched thru a crack in the blinds as his mum tried to grab at his jacket to make him stay as he lugged out his suitcase..... she even tried to physically cling onto him so he cldn’t get in his ride bt the door wound up slamming n she sat on her knees watching the lights pull out the drive n even long after they were gone. ziggy didn’t rly kno what to do abt this (emotions hd never been smthn he particularly understood, his own or how to handle other people’s) so after watching her fr 5 minutes he went out n gently shook her shoulder n was like. mom come inside u look weird out here. FKGHSFHGSFHKGFHKSGSFGHK. this was him trying to show love <3

ziggy’s mum is like.... rly relationship dependent. she gets all her self worth n validation frm whtever man she’s dating.... so she went on this like.... wild rampage of jst. dating a very large string of men. they ranged frm dreadfully boring to downright awful n were always below her standards. ziggy quite literally hated. all of them. every last one. even one that tried to b nice to him by offering to help him do his math homework when he ws 13 (bc ziggy was struggling a lot w this) n in response ziggy loudly barked until the man gt scared n stumbled backwards into a dining chair on his way out of the room. KGHFHKSJHFJGSHKFG

while him n his mum hv a kind of strained situation (there’s a great deal of resentment from her end n kind of. blaming him fr “driving his father away” n it’s never spoken abt bt it’s very much Present in their relationship n honestly ziggy kind of resents her too fr bringing some of the men into their lives tht she did) there is. love there...... sometimes she’ll like. reach out to cup the back of his head n he’ll duck his head away n be like wtf are u doing checking me for lice? n she’ll jst smile like :)...... knowing that’s how he loves. KHSFGKJGHKSFGFHKGSHF. ugh we love men who know how to process their emotions yesssss king give us nothing <3

(abuse n violence tw) idk i won’t go into it too much bt even tho ziggy’s constantly like 🙄 when his mum shows him affection he wld quite literally. kill fr her n almost did one time.......... narrowly avoided getting charged w assault when one of her bfs was drunk n evil n he went into protective mode.... idk he. has gone thru a lot n seen a lot n so has his mum. they look after each other the best they kno how despite the negatives in their relationship.... it’s complex <3

literally got in trouble so. often. at school. he ws always hyperactive (undiagnosed adhd n also probably not helped by the fact he ws jst allowed to eat sm junk food w 459729457952 sugar percentage all hours of the day) bt when his dad left n like. dealing w acting out so severely at home where his mum’s bfs were concerned it rly escalated..... i jst think he ws like. literally a terror. probably got suspended so many times. maybe even was permanently expelled before he cld get his diploma honestly. set off a firework in school hallway. smthn absolutely reckless n stupid.

hs hd a bunch of jobs mostly in the service industry...... usually ends up getting fired.... worked at mcdonald’s fr a while n then one day he went in rly high n ate three cheeseburgers in front of a weeping child who hd ordered one.... promptly gt fired bt he ws like yo fuck this place i’m quitting n threw off his apron n was like who’s with me??? who’s joining the union??????? to the rest of the staff n they were all mostly like >_> <_< before security approached to forcibly remove him n he grabbed a cookie n crammed it into his mouth in rebellion mid frantic n frankly possessed escape.....

in terms of wht’s going on to this day w his living situation i honestly think he still lives w his mum. i can just see this. KHGFSKGHSFGKSFGH. in like. a ramshackle bungalow in delphinus heights.... having said tht she probably isn’t. there tht often nw she’s dating her latest man (jonas, somehow always sweaty no matter the weather, wears too many gold rings n smells like shoe cleaner) who owns a car dealership n thinks he’s a kingpin for it. still home sometimes tho.

PERSONALITY:

ziggy spends his days working shifts at an ice cream parlour (one he got fired from once bc he broke in high n ate sm ice cream he was lay on the floor in the bk pants unbuttoned stomach bulging sm calling himself garfield saying he had too much lasagna. they hired him bk tho bc he has a harem of middle aged women who lust after him n it brings customers....) or like. cruising parties...... setting off fireworks.... skateboarding...... breaking into abandoned buildings.... filming stupid jackass type tricks....... playing guitar hero...... getting drunk at the arcade..... sometimes busking fr cash in a tossed dwn hat (very badly) (thinks he’s sick at it however)........ or alternatively...... fucking chicks aha...... fuck.......... not exclusive to chicks tho just had to sound despicable bt :smirk: he’s bi Baby....

i won’t lie he’s kind of an asshole................ never rly was taught properly how to empathise with ppl so like he struggles w that....... sometimes he’ll say smthn tht’s genuinely just quite mean n doesn’t need to be said but he doesn’t rly realise it’s like bad. n he’s like. what’s the deal haha why are u mad......

fuckboy. genuinely jst. rly summarises it well. insatiable. sleeps around wildly. will say he’ll call u back n then will not call u back. lies like oh babe i’m moving to france tomorrow fuckkkkkkkkk sucks so bad that we can only have one night but let’s make it special yeah? tits? n then they’ll see him casually skating past them on the street a week later n be like well clearly he’s not in france. ziggy doesn’t care.

calls himself a “genius inventor” bc he once gutted a vintage analog television n made it into a fish tank. it literally leaked water a bit. still convinced he is a literal visionary never seen before never done again. he’s like i’m on the brink of greatness. i’m the next einstein.

has a bit of a god complex where he thinks he’s the sexiest person in any given room n it’s kind of funny bc like dylan minnette’s sexy to me bt tht isn’t a widespread opinion n ur being a bit bold ziggy...... regardless has confidence thru the roof tht isn’t rly deterred by anything or anyone.....

dyes his hair 49729572459752 colours every colour under the sun. sometimes all at once jst different patches. wears lots of tie dye tshirts n basketball shorts even tho he doesn’t play basketball. rly colourful sneakers. just lots of loud colours tbh. often wears a paper clip in his ear as an earring. pierced it himself. someone probably recorded him doing it fr his insta story. probably was drunk.

drives a vespa around tht is baby blue with pastel yellow polka dots. it has lots of tin cans attached to the back by string like on those cars when u just got married. he did not just get married. u can hear him arriving frm over a street away.

almost never pays fr anything bt is always like “yo it’s my treat” n then either dine n dashes or u have to pay

his idea of romance is nuking a hot pocket as breakfast in bed n then complaining he’s hungry n eating half

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

fuckboy antics: he’s insatiable. rabid. notorious. mayb they fkd n he didn’t call........ jst completely ghosted........ mayb they were genuinely into him n he honestly built up kind of false pretences abt them having a connection n then jst dipped..... cld b good fr angst n drama <3 someone please egg his house he deserves it <3

high skl heathens: locals tht were equally chaotic in hs..... just picture him having this group of misfits tht were like so loud n always getting up to no good doing god knows what god knows where.... probably gt arrested together breaking into an old abandoned hospital one time........... rly just doing the absolute most at all times............. probably so loud........... drinking n smoking far too much.....

an attempted teenage relationship: i’m like. tentative to even put this one bc i just feel like ziggy wld be a shit bf. KJHGFSHGFHGSFHGFKGHFKSG. but. maybe it ended in drama.....i’d say this wld probably be a girl bc in hs he probably ws less open w his sexuality... maybe ziggy cheated on her or she cheated on him................ angst........ strife.... we love it we love it........ i crash my car into the bridge... i don’t care... i love it... sudden icona pop moment me stood on stage singing karaoke.... it’s just gone 7am as i write this so i apologise if this is losing any. coherency. smiles so sexy....

last adolescent plot i swear: i picture when ziggy was expelled he somehow amassed a large group to protest w signs outside the school fr him to be accepted back. it didn’t work. he threw a party when he received news he hadn’t got back in anyway. maybe ur muse was involved or helped organise this or was violently opposed.

enemies: ppl who just. don’t like ziggy bc like honestly that’s so fair n valid. KJHGFKGHKSFGHSGKHSFHG..... mayb he like. exploded their mailbox one time when they were younger. mayb he skated over their toes. mayb he fucked their bitch aha fuck................. (joking btw) (don’t condone misogyny) (hashtag feminism). cld be fun to play around w

fwb: probably hs a few of these......... mayb they’re cool w things being no strings attached n lax n at ease w ziggy being the mess tht he is in general..... mayb they want more bt ziggy cannot provide...... mayb they literally don’t get on at all n this is their only mutual ground n they keep coming bk to each other.... :smirk:..... whatever u Farncy....

maybe ziggy’s mum dated ur muse’s dad at one point???? we can discuss this if u think it fits..... cld be fun to play around w............

coworkers: past or present r fun..... mayb they were like WTFFF is this guy fking ONNN at a past job (he’s had a few in the food service industry so pretty open in tht area)... mayb they work w him at the ice cream parlour now..... cn discuss the dynamic probably wld be dependent on the muse involved fr like. how he’d act n stuff.... :yum:

#irvingintro #abuse tw #violence tw #believe tht's all....

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eohachu · 3 years

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Post pictures of your first ever (fictional/celeb) crush to the latest one and tag five others to continue the game.

Ali tagged me, thanks. I guess 😘 @lanzhansmiles

A’ight so I’m simply taking this as an opportunity to show off my frankly impeccable taste 😌 *coughs into the crook of my elbow with my mask on and from a safe distance* More under the cut, godspeed!

I’m tagging uhh I really don’t want to expose anyone but uh. @morifinwes @ttaechwita @sunshine304 @treemaidengeek @flamingwell no pressure tho!!

Since 2006

Janina Fautz: Die Wilden Kerle, anyone?? Tbh i had a crush on quite a lot of the characters/actors but in hindsight Janina was and is the most influential one. Also probably my first ever girl crush (again, in hindsight bc it took me until 3 years ago to finally find out i’m queer lol)

Eva-Maria May: Yeah well I’m not gonna talk about where I know her from let’s say it was an incredibly bad soap opera my mom used to watch. She was one of the reasons why I went Yeah I Have Always Been Into Girls. I was pretty obsessed with her to the point where mini me secretly printed out a photo of her to look at lmaooo the signs have always been there and it’s truly amazing how I had been missing them for years

Amy Adams: Her as Amelia Earhart in Night at the Museum was also definitely a huge Thing to young me. Again, I had been completely oblivious about this crush for years

David Luiz: HAH! This is the point where we do NOT get into my football/soccer crushes bc this list would get WAYYY too long hahaha. I had to cut loads of people from my list for this post bc I develop a new celebrity crush every 5 minutes basically but yeah. David Luiz was definitely my biggest football/soccer crush out of..... everyone else

M*rvel

I don’t have a lot to say about any of them since I’m not into m*rvel anymore TFATWS makes me want to stick the tip of my toe back into m*rvel waters but otherwise NO THANKS

Sebastian Stan was, if my judgement of my archive is right, the longest highkey celebrity crush I’ve ever had. Mostly because I love Bucky a lot and he was so amazing in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I must’ve had a crush on him for as long as I had been in the m*rvel fandom

Recent Past

some celeb crushes from last year that were all more or less short-lived tbh

Ester Expósito: As it often goes I didn’t find her spectacular in the beginning but as Élite went on I started to develop a huge crush on her. I still find her pretty hot but I’m not invested in Élite so yeah..... I have no object permanence

Mina El Hammani: Got to know her through Élite, too. She’s so incredibly beautiful. Had a hard time choosing a photo of her bc I’d stare at every single one for ages. Wow.

Danger Days!Gerard Way: Hah! The ones of you who’ve been following me for longer might remember my posts about wanting to dye my hair neon red. Well, him’s the reason and also clinical depression. Ended up with natural red/ginger bc my hair is too thin for bleaching lel. ANYWAY

Maxence Danet Fauvel: Pretty short-lived crush from my Skam days

Ramy Moharam Fouad: So Ramy has a brother, Tamino-Amir Moharam Fouad, who makes INCREDIBLE music. Ramy made some of his music videos (directed them? not sure), that’s how he came to my attention. Idk man he’s just so incredibly beautiful.... gives me a hint of genvy, too......

Janelle Monáe: Became a fan when Make Me Feel came out, listened to the entire album for days and eventually inevitably crushed on her

Lera Abova: Saw her in ANИА and fell in love. I screamed to my friends for weeks about how she was the most beautiful human being I’d ever seen etc etc. Eventually my crush went away mostly, but I still think she’s stunning

Keiynan Lonsdale: Keiynan said FUCK gender and I said 😍😍😍 and that’s all you need to know.

Current

*deep breath* alright let’s gooo

Bright (Wachirawit Chivaaree): Crushed on him for as long as I watched 2gether/Still 2gether lmao. I still like him a lot and sometimes lose my mind over him but I’m not exceptionally Thirsty™

Tul (Pakorn Thanasrivanitchai) and Max (Nattapol Diloknawarit): If you search either of them on tumblr you will have to scroll for a long, long time to find seperate photos of them. However, I’m not patient enough so here we are. Re: Tul, actually I want to copy/paste what Ali said bc DAMN a man who is confident about his masculinity and sexuality really is kinda hot. Same goes for Max tbh. Also Max’ lips look so soft I [redacted]

Lukas von Horbatschewsky: Also known as Lukas Alexander. He did an amazing job in Druck and he’s just a person I admire in general. As one of the few out trans actors in Germany, he had a main role as a trans boy in Druck and also co-wrote Druck’s seasons 5 and 6. He’s just a huge role model to me and, apart from that, Big Crush Material (h i s e y e s)

Li Wei: Someone suggested him as Hua Cheng for the TGCF live action and my life hasn’t been the same since. While I’m open for whoever will get that role in the end, I could look at his face for hours and not get bored. Major Genvy, too.

Li BoWen and Liu HaiKuan: I will have to deal with these two in one paragraph bc LanLan bc they have the exact same effect on me which is. that they’re not 100% my type but I WILL go absolutely feral about them at regular intervals, if you know what I mean

Song JiYang: ohh honey. oh honey.......... hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I have a natural affinity for aquarius ppl and this one lives in my heart rent free. I’d even make him soup if he’d ask.

Wang YiBo: WELL HOLY SHIT. listen. LISTEN! the hype around him is 100% justified imo he really is That Bitch and I love him so so much for it. Fucking ICON

Honorary Mentions: Gender Envy

Here’s to the People I Thought I Had A Crush On But Not Quite until I learned the word Gender Envy:

Zhu YiLong: Man, this is the person who’s mainly responsible for me finding out AT ALL about not being entirely cis. The POWER he holds!!! His performance as Ye Zun in Guardian was like a breakthrough point for me which. certain people witnessed in real time hahaha oh I love this fandom!!

Zhu ZanJin: HIM. AAAH!! He’s literally so beautiful and whenever I see him I just go ZANZAN!! in my head and in the tags bc. well. hIM.

Xiao Zhan With Long Hair: Look, Xiao Zhan is always amazing but BLESS the person who made these manips. I can finally rest.

Wang YiBo: uhh what’s he doing here again?? Tbh YiBo is one of the few, if not the only person that gives me Major Gender Envy that I would also [redacted] if they asked. Do I want to be him or be with him? The answer is Yes.

I skipped the fictional characters bc I tend not to crush on them 👉👈 Instead I will just directly crush on the actors/actresses lol!

Thank you for bearing with me. As a prize, you can choose between a ladder supported forehead kiss, or a bowl of homemade soup. ❤

#[brother this took so fucking long]#[it was fun to reminisce but please never ask me to do this again ❤]#[sorry if anything doesn't make sense. i'm very tired my sleep schedule is fucked up and i have a major headache ❤]#[thanks ali for the tag it was really really fun!]#[also i think it's kinda sexy of me not to be ashamed of any of these. does therapy work? maybe so]#about #tag game #ali tag #r.txt

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cloveroctobers · 4 years

Text

YASMIN DOUGLAS—

IG info/Bio: @/imyasmin_d | 11.6k followers | hello & ahlan 🎶

23-24 years old depending on her birthday (I’m thinking too much about timelines since i know some shows aren’t live and if they filmed it prior & it’s just being shown to us now...then there’s the boat party that comes in after, you get what I’m saying right? No? Okay)

Moroccan heritage

she was born in fes along with her baba

Father works in the carpet & rug manufacturing industry and worked in his father’s business from the young age of 16

her mother is from Essaouira & has often stated that she couldn’t stand Yasmin’s father the first time they met but she wouldn’t want to travel through this life with anyone else

Her father and mother came from two different lifestyles. All he knew how to do was hard work yet he had a sarcastic but playful side to him whereas her mom came from a family that was more financially stable & she was free to do whatever! mainly hanging at the beach with her friends without a care in the world, she was privileged and a little uppity while her father’s life seemed to be planned out from the day of his birth

Yet they still fell in love and decided to leave Morocco months after they got married at 21 & 24 & not too long after they had yas they left for England

She was raised in Kent, England

The Atmosphere led to her boho lifestyle...being exposed to castles, gardens, and underground tunnels from time to time shaped her into what she felt she was meant to be. She loved her second home

they call her “yazzy”

Parents follow islam...Which Yasmin respects but is not strongly devoted to

Can speak & write in Arabic but seems to do better in writing

Her paternal grandparents fault her parents for not teaching her to excel at both & feel that if they weren’t in such a rush to leave home she would speak Arabic better

Which made Yasmin feel like shit. Her paternal grandparents were strict on keeping their customs alive whereas her maternal grandparents were carefree as long as they got to see their granddaughter alive & well that was good enough for them

Idk maybe a only child or has a older brother? I don’t feel like she comes from a big family sibling wise

her mother made her a stuffed purple sheep that she took everywhere with her as a kid & continues to keep close to her. Y’all had imaginary friends? Well Yasmin had a real friend she could see & squeeze the life out that didn’t require talking and hugging the air, but that’s fine do u

100% collects beanie babies until this day but lil yamb is the number one princess in her household

As her significant other you have to be okay with lil yamb sleeping in between y’all that’s just the way it is

These stuffed babies are her comfort when no else can be

she’s a singer/songwriter. Went to uni for it & finished a semester early

Went through multiple hell experiences when it came to interning & temping while still in school & after

Let’s just say she wasn’t down to f*ck her way to the top

this made her anxiety act up, these people made her feel like she wouldn’t be good enough to show the world her craft & it’s didn’t have to be the world, just someone who would listen

But she couldn’t give up, there was nothing else she saw herself doing. She knew this is what she was meant to do but she couldn’t lie and say that her insecurities didn’t get the best of her most days

Although the cons seemed to out way the Pros some days, she kept at it & found herself a solid team that knew what she was about and understood her soul

Was definitely the student who loved all her English classes & when she spoke up everyone found it shocking since she preferred to just write everything out rather than “participate in group discussions”

I feel like her singing voice sounds similar to Jessica mauboy’s (if you don’t know who that is & you’re a fan of r&b/pop check her out or if you’re just curious that works too lol)

Knows her music notes like the back of her hand, duh!

Fav color is royal blue, especially on her eyelids & nails

Occasionally sleeps in rollers to keep her hair wavy

Needs her space when it comes to disagreements, they stress her out & she panics a bit when things go wrong so she feels like she needs to leave the situation rather than talk it out right then and there

She’ll talk when she’s ready, she just needs someone that’s a little patient with her that’s all

Words of affirmation is her love language? When she figures out how to balance her love life with her work life that is. When she’s feeling confident she’s smooth with words but when she needs to show you how much you mean to her & she really takes the time to think it out & feel her emotions, she’s writing you a song or you’re the inspiration to it or a poem, leaving you little love notes on blue post-it’s around the house, will write 50 reasons why she loves you on Valentine’s Day, and will say so when it’s just the two of you in your own comfort

Isn’t too crazy about public displays of affection but will deff hold your hand if that’s something you or she wanted in that moment

I think she’s fluid

Hasn’t been in many relationships. Sure she goes on tour every other year and gets to meet many people but they’re not solid relationships, they’re hookups and she hasn’t done many of those either

Had maybe one or two solid relationships: a androgynous woman that uses she/they pronouns & was in a rock band & a cis male she met at a tattoo parlor his step-brother owned (he kinda favored seb but we’re not going to speak on that)

I believe she wants to get married someday but isn’t so keen on the idea of kids. The furthest she’ll go is adopting a couple of animals. She’ll be a pet mom! I feel like she’ll be anxious looking after the life of a human being when it’s extremely hard to do so not only for herself and the love of her life & you want to add kids to the mix?! Fucking hell! but that could change? Who knows what life can throw at u

Has a hedgehog named Sonia that she drops off at her parents for their weekly sleepovers

Loves lace—mostly bralettes & crotchet clothing

I see her as a corduroy girl too. She has at least some rusty brown low-rise corduroy pants or/and a jacket

owns a crotchet kit, she’s bloody good at it too

Loved pink & purple (still likes them, they’re her 2nd & 3rd fav colors) so much as a kid that she tried to dye her hair half & half while her parents went out on their date night...it was also the weekend before school pictures :)

Says she got her inspiration from starfire & raven. She was only 13 at the time & had braces. Her father approved saying she’s a kid and she should be allowed to express herself. He only said that because his own parents barely let him & his brothers have their own fun

Her mother thought it was atrocious and did her best to get it out with the help of her other hair stylists friends (her mother worked in plenty of beauty shops once she got to England, until she decided to convert their basement into her own shop) who she invited over to see what her daughter had done but when you use certain permanent dyes...

It didn’t completely damage yasmin’s hair plus it was just hair, Yasmin didn’t see the big deal. She thought she looked splendid

Anyway, massive fan of ballroom dancing

She’s got a great ear to begin with so it was extremely fun twirling around while wearing pretty ballroom gowns

Took boring etiquette classes as a form of punishment? After the whole teen Titans inspiration thing “went wrong”

Enjoys western films

yes she owns a cowgirl hat & some boots too so sue her, she likes what she likes

Knows how to lasso but hates doing it to animals but she’ll do it to you :) (*gags* lmao why???)

Also loves visiting western towns & learning some history or at least experiencing what it was like

Type of significant other that will do her best to persuade you to stay in a treehouse airbnb, a cabin, the fucking Idaho potato, or camping out in her Volkswagen van in the middle of nowhere!

Has faux cow rugs, wicker baskets, wicker chairs in her flat, hangs some plants in glass jars & bottles all over her house

Her flat is very bright & vibrant: white, mocha brown, tan, yellows, & pastel purple

When it comes to decision making, she’ll make them pretty quick but only if it comes to choosing desserts

nobody is touching her mom’s meskouta orange cake WITH syrup

the dessert eater that always picks the one that has a surprise inside, meaning it has to ooze out with SOMETHING to make it 10x more satisfying

Leaning towards Buddhism, had studied some of their beliefs and found it resonates with her spirit

Fan of neon lights, probably has a few neon signs in her flat preferably on her brick wall in the loo, “to give u comfort as you go!” “that...actually makes sense.” Tai commented as he rubbed his chin coming to terms with yasmin’s reply. While Iona scowls, “no, no it doesn’t. I feel as if it’s an invasion of my bits!” “...Sorry you feel that way.”

tai & ciaran are automatically deemed as her brothers since she came into the villa with them. She had time to connect with them unlike anyone else. It was just the way the stars wrote their story and it showed outside of the villa too. they often crash at her place all the time when they’re in town & vacation all the time together when their schedules line up + it never feels like she’s third wheeling

“TaiTower” & “BB-Ci” are their names in her phone, Tai picked his own name while the “bb” stands for “best buds” for ciaran —which is a joke since he drunkly called himself so + he loves everyone when he’s drunk

You can always count on her to belt the lyrics to a Chaka Khan, TLC, or paula abdul joint when she’s drunk lol

As for the girls? She’s close with miki 😒 they just seem to be on the same wavelength when it comes to the pressure of the media since they have some sort of fame which increased with them being on the Telly. They bond over that & from there they’ve built a solid friendship

She could also be friends with AJ too (if you didn’t get swiped from her that is lmao!) they’re sorta opposites with aj being high energy/active while Yasmin is more mellow & “mysterious” but seem to connect in different ways: their sexual indentities, insecurities/anxieties, having something to be passionate about but at the same time maybe not? She might lean towards elladine or Genevieve if she had to make a choice?

Aquarius sun + cancer moon

so she’s still 23 y’all, I got it! I can’t do math sorry

“Freddie Mercury was probably my dad in my past life.”

Can play the banjo, guitar, & oud

Participates in hot yoga weekly

If she’s not with mc in the end and continues dating around if anyone from season two: LUCAS, Kassam, Gary, Rocco, maybe Blake? I originally thought Elisa but she’s probably too much for yas let’s be honest here lol they’d be better off as friends

Omg I forgot marisol! Imagine that?! Whew!!!

Season three: maybe Lily? But what if? Me being the slightly messy bitch that I am? Something happening with her & AJ. Now that?! Would be some chaotic shit “from the outside looks of it” name the irrelevant person behind the quote...now!

I’d like to see her interact with allerga but there could be something with her & cherry. I’m thinking cherry, Yasmin, & priya would bond well but we’re not here to talk about that

Getting rid of the physical aspect I genuinely think she’d do well with marisol, Lucas, or kassam. They’d mesh well I think in a relationship

She’s a body shimmer girl for sure!

Loves silk or satin robes

she’s a shortie, 5’2 to 5’5

Is learning Spanish

Loves arcade games, come see her in pinball & Pac-Man!

Quarantine life did not change her lifestyle much, but it did slightly mess with her mental health :/

loves the fall time, feels like she can slow down some and really spend time with family and friends

I feel like she has one best friend outside of the villa & that’s good enough for her!

They met their first year in uni & been close ever since

She doesn’t speak to the temporary friends she grew up with anymore & is often confused why they feel the need to keep up with her in the media which added more annoying worries to her heart but whatever right? Keep your eyes on the horizon

celebs she finds/found attractive: Aaliyah—especially when she played in queen of the damned, Kehlani, Zazie Beetz, Fivel & Booboo Stewart, Lakeith stanfield, Leah Lewis, Sofia Carson, Ryan gosling, & Nick Jonas

She listens to: jade bird, Yebba, Elli Ingram, Wafia, Zeina, Summer walker, Tanerèlle, Mariah the scientist, Teyana Taylor, Tove Lo, lady Gaga, Ra Ra Riot, Empire of the sun, & smallpools

Anthem? Diana Gordon — Rollin’

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irwen-s · 3 years

Note

yes yes your rv song taste has the flover anon stamp of approval 🤩 also weird side note idk if its just me but i just sounds so much louder than every other track on the album it always gives me a heart attack every time it comes up on shuffle

have u seen the irene teasers...her HAIR i know its like five (5) strands but she has highlights :o idk if its permanent but omg how long has it been since we saw her with dyed hair

the gyulwon was very good i would read a whole fic of that - i think the immediate association with arranged marriages is period pieces or a time period from the past but it would be cool to think about an arranged marriage within a contemporary setting with all these traditionalist abo values (alpha marks omega first, alpha is domineering and overbearing etc etc) and then you have painfully earnest gyuri and a tentatively hopeful jiwon just breaking down all these rigid barriers together...we love

to answer your q about the 2jirom: ill leave it up to you..i think making it gp would def increase the filth factor tho..like romsun jerking off on the bed side by side, both super needy, then one of them reaches over and just grips the other alpha's cock and makes them come just from the contact..but anyways i digress - your call! itll be amazing either way

hope youre having a good day!

- flover anon

okay wait my reply here is Super long so im gonna just:

(also wherever the gyulwon anon is come here to read this im gonna explain the backstory i had in mind)

okay no i think youre onto something there i went to go listen to i just again. i think the first few notes are LOUD hahhahaha hdjlsdjflg like they just blare out of nowhere thats so funny that you noticed

i think im super behind on the everything about queendom but i DID see one of my friends screaming over a photo of irene and her five strands of dyed hair yeah; she was like this is all were gonna get from her and honestly probably yeah.

i dont actually know why she never dyes her hair as of late; i think i read somewhere its cause of a contract with one of the brands she represents or something??? but im genuinely not sure

omg youre gonna indulge me about the gyulwon . . . [drags the gyulwon anon over here] LISTEN TO THIS DISCUSSION ITS ABOUT THE FIC. i had So many thoughts on this legit i had to come up with the backstory before i could dive into it cause its such an interesting idea

like i actually Did have in mind what youre saying flover anon about an arranged marriage but set in contemporary instead and that it does still retain traditionalist ideals

the backstory i had was that jiwon was involved in another previous relationship with someone (that she had gotten together with on her own) which turned out really shitty for her, as was hinted in the fic.

when she eventually gets out of that relationship and some time passes, her parents who genuinely care for her decide to step in at some point urging jiwon to let them arrange a marriage for her - with the daughter of a family friend that they believe would treat her better, because they trust that family. and jiwon, whos been kinda scared of trying to engage in any other relationship ever since, ends up agreeing.

gyuris family, on the other hand, is decidedly more traditionalist than jiwons. like the alphas from her side of the family are extremely courteous and all, but they still maintain a rigid hierarchy. gyuris kinda born during a point where shes learning of more liberal contemporary values which clash with her background, so thats a conflict she often struggles over.

her parents end up arranging a marriage for her with jiwon, because its a family friend that reached out to gyuris parents with the request and theyre really close with one another.

so gyuri and jiwon end up courting one another and [insert more content here] in addition to some [stuff about jiwon having entered into this voluntarily but gyuri having had no choice in the matter and how they affects how they treat one another]

the thing is in requesting for gyuri to be paired with jiwon, jiwons family has to allow gyuris family to arrange most of how the marriage will go about. and by tradition it means gyulwon need to legit consummate and mark one another. gyuri is kind of resigned but jiwons family tell jiwon that she can back out of this if she wants to - that they can call this entire thing off if she wants to.

jiwon doesnt, though. and thats partly because she doesnt want to let down her family . . . and partly because of gyuri.

and then that leads into the fic written :D

anyways YEAH theres all my thoughts i just flooded you with no pressure to read it all of course hhhhh cause its a lot

also okie okie i got it with gp or no gp are both all right then. cool!! [rubs hands together] i think i can see how this will go

and i hope youre having a good day too flover anon!!

#qs #flover anon #no pressure to have to read all of this or answer it either of course these are just me spilling my thoughts #sorry for all the spam gyulwon anonie!

0 notes

izzyliker · 3 years

Note

that anon was a bit off, it was abt how its weird that gerry would not dye his roots (which is the easiest part) cause its one of the few things he has agency over. not offensive bro just weird that fandom went 'oops! dumb lil gerry cant even dye his roots! geez so funny!', like. at least the roots would be the best part yknow, the rest is probs blotchy or smth else. jesus, ppl on this website just wanna start shit for no reason. its a valid point, whats the deal with the anon.

anon from just now. the person also said that 1) they r an abuse survivor whos just speaking for himself so 2) literally getting too sensitive abt this is stupid cause the person said theyre talking about a them thing, and taking it too to heart is a you thing, which i agree. its a headcanon ppl. let ppl have hc and explain why they have them and show the logic behind them and if you dont agree. then u dont. jesus, whats the deal y do ppl hate each other so much, its tiring

okay i have NOT seen the post and have no clue who made it or anything so i’m just Sitting Here . i guess like for me these things depend on if there’s a generalization / moral judgement (“if you do this you’re a bad person who hates survivors” vs “i don’t like this”) because like i mean i hate the hcs that are like “martin can’t cook because he grew up poor” but it’s whatever if people have them even tho i hate them.

although i mean idk if roots are the easiest part, depends on what dye you’re using and how well your hair takes dye and also if they mean root growth vs just fresh dye job with no dye on the roots (but also sometimes people try to avoid their scalp when using permanent hair dyes bc of skin sensitivities or fear of having chemicals touch their scalp directly)

#disk horse

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homme-brella · 4 years

Text

aesthetic themed ask list

It’s friday night i’m by myself listening to music in my bed in the dark and i told all my friends to leave me alone but i don’t feel like journaling properly so i’m just going to do this as an exercise lol. Found this list in my drafts of my old account i made for my ex.. oh how times have changed since 2015.

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself? just now i guess?

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? who killed jonbenet ramsey???

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? i don’t feel like i’ve accomplished much - actually got stuck on this question during a job interview (i didnt get the job lol) probably... finding my current job and seeing an actual path for my future for once.

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise? telling my friends how much i love them saturday night.

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? drop out of cpa, quit my job, travel the world and send cards back home to my friends to remember me by.

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things? no bucket list... i just wanna travel the world...

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail. she reminds me that people aren’t perfect, that sometimes you shouldn’t be selfish, that there are more people who have opinions than i’d like.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood? it didn’t get bad until jr high / high school i don’t think i can complain.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person? sunday night.

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them. jessica. she loves the stars as much as i love her.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them? no i can barely do that with my friends.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you? i guess it was 5-6am when we talked. cass is a dear friend of mine.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom? i’d tell Ron “stand tall, stupid”

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes? pretty.

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally. “i don’t have everything that i love, but i love everything that i have” - my dad said this a lot. i try to remember to love everything in my life, and put 100% of my energy into loving them.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far? lmao i was looking through my archive i think it’d be “needs to be held, cries often”

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars? probably pay off every debt my entire family has, and then invest the rest and treat my family & friends nice.

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way? sometimes. I can be pretty petty sometimes, but I think it’s a defense mechanism. Sometimes i wish i could take the high road but sometimes they don’t deserve it lol.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self. idk how to count a hundred words but “don’t stay with someone just because you’re loyal”

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel? pastel probably?

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain. i like them in moderation! although my mama is strict )-:

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not? no idk how to do makeup well and i’m also really lazy. thank god for permanent makeup.

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. “She likes spring, I prefer winter” -Slchld. I think this song reminded me that it’s ok to have differences between you and your s/o. I think it made me an open minded person, and open to flaws and acceptance. I think it also got me through a time when I was losing myself and it reminded me that it’s ok to be different and like what you like, as long as you know what you like, you know?

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them. Love is love.

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

Us the Duo - went with my ex when we were about to break up. gave me hope that we could work things out because they sang our song and we held each other but it didn’t end up working out. i still have a bad habit of attaching people to music

Daniel Caesar - went with my best friend, we found a spot near the side of the stage and interacted a lot with the drummer - he actually was the highlight of the night the way he enjoyed himself so much. It was freezing out but it was honestly such a warming sensation being in that venue.

HONNE - went with a group of friends, i actually introduced them all to HONNE, it was amazing singing those songs with them, it bonded us but also marked the end of our time together.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say? i would love a letter from my grandpa telling me everything that happened to him during the war.

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised? It’s not lol.

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine? brush teeth, hop in bed, scroll on phone for hours, sleep

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know? their daughter’s a hoe ToT

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why? pink. idk i like pink.

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do? ron devon cass andrew mitch, we would get an RV and travel across the country for a month or two, making stops in random cities.

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

1. i wish ron lives happily ever after with the girl he loves - because he deserves it

2. i wish to be successful in my career - so that i can afford to travel and see the world with the people that i love

3. i wish that the dreams my friends are manifesting come true - because i love my friends.

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up. i think i was pinocchio one year that was kinda cute.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high? called my entire local committee and hysterically laughed and hyperventilated on video call lol.

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars? kill a person

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why? wait that’s really hard lol ummmm maybe one song? maybe the different people i see can sing different songs for me.

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love. i think so! it’s when you think about them throughout the day - consider their feelings and what you could do for them. but idk i’m single as fuck lol.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair? i did rock really short hair lol

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone? uuhh i don’t really drink starbucks but i like the seasonal drinks - pumpkin spice latte.

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now? peace.

fin.

#moi

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pretzel-emoji-anon · 4 years

Note

I dare you to do all of the crayon asks :)

Bubble Gum: Gender? - who knows. Last night in a dream I had someone referred to me as agender and that made me feel great so probably agender

Almond: Hair color? - dark blonde but I wish I could dye it 😔 my mom doesn’t let me dye my hair though because it’d cause “””too much damage””” as if brushing my hair when it’s still wet and using hair dryers and th e unholy amount of hair products I use doenst already kill my scalp👀

Aquamarine: Eye color? - Grayish blue,,,,,,, they used to be really light blue but have since dulled

Asparagus: Birthday? - my mom doesn’t let me post that on the Interwebs 😔 but with the updated zodiacs I’m a Aries

Cerise: First name? - still figuring that out, but my ~borthname~ is 4 letters and has a red vibe

Dandelion: Middle name? - it’s 5 letters and has an orange vibe

Leather Jacket: Long or short hair? - short hair is more manageable, but I prefer having long hair. I used to have hair that went down to my ass but I chopped it off and donated it, then let it grow out again, then chopped it even shorter and donated it again.

Pink Sherbert: Short or tall? - I’m low key like average height?? Idk if 5’3” is particularly short or y’all since it’s all relative. I’m taller than you👀👀👀

Lavender: Braces? - I had braces for several years and got them off this year

Manatee: Smoker or non smoker? - I do not smoke because smoking is Not Cool™️

Mountain Meadow: Drank or still drink alcohol? - I drank Champaign like twice and it’s yuck as fuck

Wisteria: Ever done drugs? - technically yes? “Drugs” is a very broad terms

Emerald: Favorite thing about yourself? - I can play the Entertainer by Scott Joplin in the piano really really fast (or at least a simplified version, I don’t think it’s rhe real deal)

Black Shadows: Something you’re allergic to? - practically every type of tree pollen, three types of other plants, the grass in my front yard, cats, dogs, and possibly gold (long story that involves earrings and U8 girls rec soccer)

Denim: Any diseases? - hopefully not ?

Raw Umber: Sexual orientation? - omnisexual but I might be demisexual? Also might be Reciproromantic or platoniromantic or some combo of the two

Misty Moss: Kissed anyone other than family? - no ;-;

Outer Space: Had sex? - no, I’m babey

Shadow: Name of crush? - none at the moment? I think?

Smashed Pumpkin: Why you like the person you do? - this post is already really long and a good response would be like a 1K word 4 paragraph essay 😔

Magic Mint: Number of people you dated? - 4, all long-distance and online

Steel Teal: Longest time you’ve dated someone? - a little over two months but still going strong :D

Thistle: Number of best friends? - uhhh a few? idk?

Eggplant: Number of siblings? - two older siblings

Fuchsia: Number of pets? - none ;—;

Plum: Still live with parent(s)? - yep

Razzmic Berry: Name of your mother? - G e r t r u d e

Sonic Silver: Name of your father? - This Is Dan™️ (inside joke in my family because of how he always answers the phone,,, Dan is actually his middle name but whatever)

Sea Serpent: Both parents still alive? - to my knowledge, yes

Eucalyptus: Country you live in? - the United States of America™️™️™️™️

Salmon: Place you wish to live or visit? - Greece, Sweden, England, or Italy,

Winter Sky: Number of days missed from school this year? - only a handful

Mystic Maroon: Met anyone famous? - not that I know of

Dark Venetian Red: Dream job? - writing! Maybe also being a comic book writer although that involves a lot of complications and teamwork👀

Radical Red: Aesthetic? - idk I’m just ten different tribes stacked on top of each other in a trench coat

Malachite: Something you love? - reading literature like a professor™️

Moonstone: Something you love the smell of? - Yankee Candle’s signature “pink sands” candle

Bittersweet: Favorite music artist? - Fall Out Boy, Taylor Swift, or Marina

Lemon Glacier: Favorite album? - the Family Jewels by Marina

Inchworm: Favorite song? - I have a lot of favorite songs 😔 atm probably Shampain by Marina

Scarlet: Favorite book? - the Ode Less Travelled by Stephen Fry or Batman: Under the Red Hood by Judd Winick

Unmellow Yellow: Favorite TV show? - Milo Murphy’s Law

Wild Blue Yonder: Favorite movie? - Heathers (1988) is the first that comes to mind

Blue Bell: Favorite restaurant? - there was this fast food place a few hours away that had really good tater tots but it closed down 😔 and it’s not a chain so it doesn’t exist anywhere else so I’ll never get those tots again😔. Other than that, Sweet Tomatoes™️ which also closed down😔

Medium Orange: Favorite fruit? - probably cherries, oranges, or lemons

Mulberry: Favorite vegetable? - s q u a s h

Canary: Favorite class in school? - English because I’m a literature nerd :p

Periwinkle: Favorite website? - tommymcmurty.com, slight nsfw warning, it’s a long story?

Black: Favorite season? - autumn, because leaves go cronch and the weather’s nice

Ruby: Favorite holiday? - Halloween :D

Midnight: Favorite day of the week? - Thursday’s have a nice vibe

Maximum Purple: Favorite time of day? - 1am is when I’m most productive

Permanent Geranium Lake: Favorite flower? - hibiscuses! They’re pretty and taste good and make great tea!

Sea Green: Favorite animal? - zebras! Or platypi! Or cats! Or turtles! I like a lot of animals!

Timberwolf: Movie theater or Netflix? - theater

Blizzard Blue: Buying music or downloading from YouTube? - downloading from YouTube, and when I say downloading I mean screenrecording it 👀👀👀

#swearing tw #food mention #family mention #long post #there are probably a ton of spelling errors

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kmelanin · 5 years

Text

Permanent Ink / 3 \\ kth

a/n: enjoy

Main Masterlist~

( Permanent Ink ) masterlist~

WARNING- umm idk really.

word count: 3k+

____________________________

(I'm going to be very vague with the clothing, imagine your own style. lol)

Over the next couple of days, you had meetings after meetings. You prefered to have longer work days a couple days a week then short ones all week. Some of the meetings were to schedule and plan some photoshoots, you had to send out PRs, you had to make sure that things were getting done. You loved it. You loved knowing that if you just did your best everything and took your time, the outcome would be wonderful.

Currently, everything that was ready to be sold from your website is sold out. You were so happy about it. Everyone that works with you were proud of you, throughout the meetings they always complimented you, or went on about how lucky they were, because they got to be involved that will one day expand into something.

In the next clothing release you wanted release a couple male items. A couple shirts, and hoodies. Not too much, but just enough to see if they would do well or not. When someone mentioned who was going to model the new line you instantly thought of one person.

Taehyung.

He would be perfect for it. It would give your clothes a certain vibe if people see all of the tattoos and how dangerous he looks. You needed it. It would help your brand, plus it would help you get closer to him. You mention him, plus you mention that you wanted Rowan and her sister Amia. Plus some of the earlier models.

Once you were done with your meetings, you and Rowan walked to your office to get ready to go home.

“Do you think I should ask Taehyung?” You ask grabbing your jacket from the hook and handing over hers.

“Fuck yea. He would look so good in everything, especially that black hoodie that's coming out.” She says mentioning one of the colors that the world have yet to see. You sighed. You had to try. You would regret not.

The next day you had Rowan go and grab a few things to put together a gift basket. First you had her get a one of a kind bong. You were looking on a artists website. He lived in the USA and he made bongs that you wouldn't find anywhere else.

The one you picked out was inspired by a cherry blossom tree. Everything from the actual bowl which was a flower, to the actual glass was shade of pink. It had flowers along everywhere in a pretty pattern. You had Rowan pick up the $1,500 bong up from the post office, but some other smoking essentials.

You hoped this would convince him to model for you. Plus some other payment if he would like.

Once it was all put together, Rowan drove you to his apartment. Rowan simply asked Jin for his address, and without giving him a reason to why she wanted it. Which surprised you. You went in alone and went to the correct door. You raised your hand up to push the doorbell but yelling from the other side stopped you.

“You can't loan it to me Sinsi? I'm literally about to lose the roof from over my head.” You heard Taehyung's voice loud and clear. That made you frown.

“You know that I'm not even supposed to be here, let alone loan you money. I wish I could.” She yelled back. “Sell the shop.” You quickly knocked on the door in case someone was to storm out and think you were eavesdropping. Also because maybe he would want to model for you if you were willing to help him out. You picked up the hidden gift basket.

The door swings open and thank god Taehyung opened it.

“YN?” He asks confused. He was wearing black sweats and a red pull over, and his hair was all wild and had that ‘just had sex’ effect. Which made your jealousy boil.

“Hi, can we talk?” You ask him, holding the bag higher in your hands. You noticed he was started to think if he really should or not, so you just walk in anyways. “Trust me, you will love the fact that I just entered without your permission.” You set the hidden present on his table and you turn to both of them. Sinsi looked confused and surprised while Taehyung confused and irritated.

“Hi YN!” Sinsi smiles, you could tell she didn't know what she wanted to do with herself. You looked at her and nodded smiling slightly.

“I wanted to offer you a job.” You say clasping your hands together, when you only seen a eyebrows raise on his face, you further explain. “As you both know, i've recently released a clothing line. I'm working on something for it, and I need a model. And I think you would be perfect for it. But! Before you say anything else. I have two things that you will get out of this.” You say holding up one finger. Sinsi was beaming in her shoes, she seemed excited for Taehyung.

“First, I know how you are a weed smoker… sooooo” You pull the bong out first not wanting to knock it over. His eyes went extremely large, you could’ve sworn he was having a heart attack by the way he was holding his chest. You turned confused when you seen Sinsi looking back and forth between you two with a slight pout on her face.

“What? Does he not like pink? I didn't think he would mind because he is a tat-”

“No it's not that, he has been saving his money up for this exact bong. I even planned on buying it for him for his birthday.” And he frown turns a bit deeper. You couldn't help but to extremely excited, you finally did something right. Taehyung's eyes were stuck on the glass in your hands. You smiled and set it down on the table. You then removed the blanket, exposing a whole set up of rolling papers and leafs, with a bunch of different cool looking lighters and rolling tray with grinders at the bottom. Taehyung's eyes were practically popping out of his head.

“If you sign to become a model, the face of the men's collection, you won't have to worry about your financial problems.” You felt like you were becoming a someones sugar mommy. But all of your models are paid well, you were willing to pay him more. At least until he didn't have to worry about his living space being taken away. You looked over at Sinsi and she looked happy but it didn't meet her eyes.

“Would you like to model?” You ask, giving her a opportunity. It was then her eyes exploded with excitement, but Taehyung cuts in.

“You aren't even suppose to be here, let alone model with me. What will Bogum say?” He scoffs, he pulls the basket toward him checking out all of the different items in there. Sinsi looked stuck for a moment, but just nods agreeing.

“With you? So you will do it?” You ask.

“Why the hell not, I have to put these good looks somewhere.” He jokes around.

“I'm going to go. It was nice seeing you again YN. See ya Tae.” Sinsi says quietly and walks out after grabbing her bag. It was quiet for a moment until you decided to say something.

“Don't use it without me first.” You joke around as he held the bong close to his face, looking at all of the details.

“I've been saving for this for so long.” He mumbles and sets it down, his eyes don't meet yours.

“I hope that doesn't upset you, that I've ruined something you've been saving for.” You say feeling slightly guilty.

“No, it's fine, now I can use the money for something else.” He nods and smiles a little.

“Since you are the only male model I have, I'm willing to pay you ten thousand a shoot.” You say wanting to finish this conversation up. You felt slightly nervous around him. You could feel his presence so strong, and his warmth was radiating off of him.

“Are you kidding me?” He asks looking down at you. His hair was covering most of his forehead and almost in his eyes. But you could still tell that he brows were frowned down.

“No, I'm serious about my work. If that's too little then I-”

“No, It's too much.” He looks down at the table of items. “All of this. Why?” He mumbles looking up to you.

“Um, well I needed a model, and you were the first person I thought of. There aren't that many shoots, so it's not like you are going to get a 100k in a week.” You laugh trying to lighten the mood a little. “And honestly, I want that ‘bad boy’ vibe for my clothes. The tattoos help with that.” You point to his exposed arms.

“Ahh, I understand.” He smiles a little and looks down at his arms. “I did a lot of them myself.” He mumbles. Then a ding comes from somewhere, and you watch as he pulls his phone out. That's when you got the biggest smile.

“I will have Rowan send you the contract and I will also need your number. You know, so I can let you know when I need you.” You started to mumble at towards the end, not really sure of what to say specifically. You open your phone and he passes his as you pass yours. You put yourself in your first name and a cloud emoji. When you got you phone back you seen a ‘KTH’ and you couldn't help but chuckle a little. Cute.

“Okay, well that's all I really wanted. I’ll see you later.” You nod your head slightly and grab the blanket.

“Wait.” Taehyung voice stops you from walking past him. Your heart practically fell to your ass when you heard him step forward. “Do you want to smoke?” His voice came so deep and close to you. You turned to him and he was so close to you looking down.

“Smoke?” You peep. He then backs away and looks down to some of the wraps on the table.

“Yea, I want to take some pictures of the glass, so I don't want to use it, if that's okay with you.”

“Uh, sure, whatever. It's yours.” You smile, you were nervous now. You weren't a ‘stoner’. And now with these sudden nerves and just Taehyung in general, you weren't sure what was going to happen.

“So what type of clothes is it?” He asks as he pulls out a airtight glass jar from under his bed. You sit on the far end, away from him, leaving space in the middle. He also grabbed one of your trays that you got him and he pulls a grinder and a pack of rellos out. You pull out your phone and showed him some pictures.

(Don't post this picture.)

You showed him one of the more fancy and expensive pieces.

“I was wondering if you would be up to dye your blonde.” You ask mentioning and idea you had.

“Whatever you want, especially if i'm being paid 10k.” He smiles a little.

You watch as he seals up the blunt, his lips wraps around it so beautifully. His tongue then sticks out and licks it one more time. He grabs one of the lighters you brought and he runs the flame around the blunt, which you assumed dried it a bit. He then sticks one end in his mouth, and you noticed something on the end. He lights it up and puffs some smoke.

“I put a glass tip on it.” He nods at it and passes it to you. You took it and brought it up to your lips. You could feel his eyes on you, which made your heart race a little. But that doesn't stop you from hitting it and inhaling it in a french inhale way. That one hit you pretty hard, since you haven't smoked in a while. But you hit it again and pass it back. Your eyes met his, but he looks down and grabs it.

“I also have some other things coming out in a couple of months. My father got Gucci to collab with me. I think you will look really nice in Gucci.” You talk some more, you didn't want there to be a awkward silence. “And all the models, whichever clothes they model they get to keep. Now that I think about it, I need to find some more male models, I can't have you leave with another ten thousand in clothes.” You laugh.

“Fuck, I'd feel like I owe you my life.” He shakes his head.

“Just think about this being a side job. Imagine, Kim Taehyung sexy tattoo artist, and Gucci model.” You throw your hands up and wiggle your fingers to make it more dramatic.

“Mhmm.” He groans and shakes his head. “You think I'm sexy?” He asks taking another hit and passing it to you.

“Doesn't everyone?” You shrug, you felt your cheeks burn. You brought the weed up and hit it a couple of times, needing to relax.

“I'm really putting myself out there doing this. I usually keep to myself. I've also noticed that people don't tell me anything face to face. They usually talk about me in their instagram posts of their tattoos.” You pass it back and he happily hit it.

“Well, they must not really want you then. Sometimes the girl has to make the first move.” You shrug. Then you realized what you said. “Not that I want you. Seems like Sinsi got to you first.” You laugh a little, trying to make it into somewhat of a joke. He puts the rolling tray down on the floor and slides it down under his bed. He then scooches forward a little and passes it. You were freaking out slightly. The weed was clearly getting to you and you were high as shit. You made yourself sound thirsty, and you wanted to slam your head in the wall.

Your thoughts were cut off when he leans forward a little, he caught you halfway and watched you blow it out.

“You are really pretty when you smoke. You look as if you don't what you are doing, but then you hit it and wow.” His voice was low, and deep.

“Oh, thank you.” You mumble and you look away from him. You little bit of confidence was gone and you felt little and small. You pass it to him. He grabs it and sits back a bit. He takes a hit and blow it out.

“Sinsi, she did ‘get to me first’. But we are no longer, and never will be again.” he nods and takes a huge hit. It comes in almost in a bubble and he sucks it back in. He then blow it's out and he tries to pass it back but you reject it.

“I should probably go.” You smile and stand up.

“Wait. I need to tell you something.” he says making you sit back down.

“Sinsi left me for one of my best friends Bogum. So whenever you see us together, it's just as friends. I don't even want that, but she's just so…”

“You loved her? Understandable.” You smile sadly.

“We broke up so long ago. I don't have feelings for her anymore and-”

“Wait, why are you telling me this?”

“Look. I'm not dumb, neither are you. You just come into my shop, get a tattoo, and it's like you've never left. Now you're offering this amazing job opportunity. And let's not forget the thousands of followers you gave me. You must of taken some liking of me.”

He caught you. Oh fuck.

“Mhm.” Was all you could say, you weren't sure how to answer him, without saying anything wrong. But when you looked back up at him, and you seen that he was already staring back, you got this surge of confidence. “You’re right. I’m attracted to you, physically. I’m trying to keep you around so i can figure you out Kim Taehyung. I’m not sure if you’re a seducer then heartbreak or you’re actually a soft baby inside of this hard exterior you got going on.” you point at him. His facial expression went from a smug one to confused and back to his frowning self.

“Figure me out?” He asks with a strained voice.

“Look. I’m not trying to poke into your personal life. But you agreeing to model for me, it’s going to open a lot more doors for you. Without some help, the public will eat you up.” You stood up needing to get your point across. “Now that you mention earlier, you said Sinsi left you for Bogum. Park Bogum?” He nods once. “Yea, I seen them at a couple events. Why don’t you show Sinsi that’s she’s missing out. Because what she did was fucked up.” You shrugged. “Go with the flow” You nod once more. You watch as he nods agreeing with you. You realize your eyes felt quiet heavy and your mind was a little fuzzy. You then focus on Taehyung.

He sat there finishing the blunt and he just looked godly.

“Just be careful with the girls, because they will be willing to do anything for someone who looks like you.” You add a little laugh into it, but he just looks at you with this serious expression. He puts out the roach and claps his hands together.

“Who looks likes me?” He raises a brow. Your cheeks burn realizing that he was teasing you once again. He knows you have taken a liking into him, yet he pushes and pulls like this.

“Yes Taehyung.” You sigh. He smiles a bit noticing your frustration.

“And anything you say? Like what?” He leans back on his hands.

“You can do whatever you want, I was just trying to give you advice.” You roll your eyes. You didn't know if you wanted to leave or not. You didn't know if you wanted to jump on his lap or not. He pulls you out of your thoughts when he stands up.

“Come here.”He nods toward you. Your eyes widen a little, sudden nerves enter your system. You walk in front on him, leaving a foot of space. He looks down at you, he doesn't say anything, he just tilts his head a little a continues to stare. His hair covering his eyes a little. You could see his lips start to pull into a smile until he clenches his jaw and any sign of a smile is gone.

“You Ms Yn, you try to be slick, but yet you are very very obvious.” He says breaking the silence. You lick your lips and smile a little, trying to hide the fact that your whole face and the tips of your ears were burning. “The list is getting longer and longer, eventually i'm going to have to give my life to you to pay you back.” He jokes shaking his head a little.

“Are you complaining?” You shrug and laugh at him. He then suddenly pulls you close to him by your waist. His face was suddenly right in front of yours and your breath was caught in your throat.

“Nah, but I do have a way I could pay you back.” He then grabs your hair pulling on it a little making you tilt your head back a bit, his head then goes in a he lays a couple of kisses on your neck. He trails up, getting a little messy. You were so stunned by what was happening. You hands grabbed onto his shoulders, tight. As he nibbled and kissed, your nails dug into his shoulder, you bit your bottom lip to hold in any noise. “I take care of this body for a while.” His hand suddenly went down and he grabbed at your ass. Before a moan could slip out you push him away.

“You’re gross, you know that?” You cross your arms in front of yourself.

“What I do wrong?” He smirks and shrugs. But you just roll your eyes.

“Are you kidding me?” You looked at him like he was coo-coo.

“Okay maybe the body part was a little much, but i was kinda serious. I can't lie and say i’m not attracted to you as well. Shit, i’m kinda hard thinking about the things I could and would do to your right now if you let me.” As he said that, his face was set in a serious way. There you go again blushing. You didn’t know if you should believe him or not.

“You warn me about the girls out here when i really only want you, physically of course. Do you not feel the same about me?” He throws his hands up like he was a damn emoji.

“Shouldn’t we keep things professional?” You end up whispering.

“Oh please. If i kissed you right now, and thought of professionalism would go out the door. Would it not?” He raises a brow. But then he smirks once again. “I’m assuming your puppy Rowan will tell me when to come in. So i’ll see you later.” He then pulls off his shirt and turns to pull his covers back. You were stuck. His whole torso was covered in beautiful all black ink. You see a cherry blossom trees, and different birds and flowers. There was Korean words and english combined. There were so many layers. He looks back at you with a confused look.

“Why are you still here?” He asks. Your eyes widen at his sudden change in emotions. You gathered the things you needed to take and you left without looking back.

It was now Friday, which meant you were free to do whatever you want until Monday. Rowan had to take a small vacation to visit her family in the US. So you were all alone and bored. With a photoshoot with Taehyung on Monday, you had Rowan set up a hair appointment for Taehyung to dye his hair blonde. So you knew that the next time you see him he was going to be a blonde.

You were currently laying in bed, you picked your phone up and checked the time. It was currently 10 am and you had nothing to do all day. You suddenly get a little idea that you might regret later on, but you open your text messages and click on Taehyung. You quickly type out a text asking him if he knew anyone that could drop off some weed.

Your heart started beating fast as you pushed send. You quickly got up wanting to distract your mind from him, wondering what he response will be. You got into the shower. You quickly did everything you needed to do and got out, to worried about your phone. You picked out a casual but quick outfit, wanting to take some pictures today. You pulled out tanish cargo pants and a off the shoulders tight black crop top from your line. Then you pulled out some black nikes to wear with it. Then you hear a ding.

You would be lying if you said you weren’t nervous. Just about a fucking text message. You sighed and went to look. It was him.

//Ill send the best, boss\\ with a smirking emoji. You rolled your eyes, but clicked on the number he sent below that. It started to ring and then someone answers.

“Hello?” A deep voice says.

“Uhm, Hi, I'm YN.” You wanted to slap yourself, really?

“Ah, Taehyung just texted me about you, text me your address and we can talk about it then. I'm Yoongi by the way.”

By the time Yoongi showed up, your hair was waved and put in a half up and down style. And your makeup was done. You opened the door and you wanted to jump in a pit of lava. Fuck he was beautiful and you should've known that someone like Taehyung only know people like him, dangerous. You nodded towards him and he does it back and steps in. You lead him into your kitchen to the island. He sets his black bag on the counter. He then unzips his black windbreaker to reveal a black t-shirt. But what made your mouth go dry, was the black ink all over his arms. Damn your weakness for ink.

He then opens the bag up and in it was multiple freezer bags.

“How much?” You ask, you noticed that he has six freezer bags, filled half way.

“Oh, surprisingly Taehyung offered to pay for you. He said something about you getting something that he really wanted?” He shrugs. He then takes out some plastic baggies and nods. “So i'll give you a quarter of everything. He’ll be pissed because that's a lot of money, but he owed me anyways.” He starts to weight it all out.

“What in the hell am I supposed to do with all of that weed?” You ask, that's like a zip in a half. So 28 plus 14 grams….you rarely smoke!

“Not my problem.” He shrugs. You roll your eyes and pull five hundreds out of your wallet.

“Here, is this enough?” You ask, you raised a eyebrow as his eyes widen a bit. But he nods and finishes up. He hands you the weed and puts the money in his pocket.

“I know that's too much Yoongi, but ill let it slide for gas money.” You smile when his eyes widen again.

“My bad, it's just the business man in me.” he smiles a bit, his smile made you tingle a bit.

“Sure, whatever.” You laugh looking at all the weed you have. “At least get me something to smoke this with.”

“Oh, I got some rellos.” He unzips the pocket on the side and pulls out a plastic baggy with packs of them in there. He tosses it down on the counter.

“So how do you know Taehyung?” You ask.

“We used to tat together in high school. You?” He asks.

“He gave me this.” You say and lift your shirt up. “And he is now one of my clothing models.” You say pulling your shirt back down.

“I could've done so much better.” He shrugs.

“Mhm, I like mine just how it is, thank you very much.” You cross your shoulders. He laughs and starts to tug his jacket back on. You notice that everything from his bag to his shoes, to the beanie on his head is black. Even his tattoos, or the ones you could see. Everything was black except his skin, in fact it was the complete opposite. You hated how attracted you were, he was no Taehyung, but he was a close second.

“Well, can I hit you up when I need more weed?” You ask. “That is, if your weed isn't trash.” You didn't know why you felt like you could talk to him like that, but he just had this goofy vibe to him, even if he looked scary beautiful. But when he smiles extra gummy like you knew you were good.

“Trust me, it's not.” He pulls out his phone when it dinged in his pocket. “I follow you on instagram by the way, so I was wondering if you would like to come to this party i'm throwing tonight.”

You just raise a brow.

“It would be nice if someone with a higher status in the social world, would come.” He pulls out the money you gave him. “Here. I know I sound thirsty, but when you opened your door I was hella surprised. First by how beautiful you actually are in person, unlike the facetune clan. And because how could someone like Taehyung know you. So here is all of your money back.”

“So for all of this weed, I come to your party instead of paying?” You say trying to ignore that fact that he called you beautiful. He nods not breaking eye contact. “Fine.”

Later that night, your driver pulled into a little frat village, and you were nervous. College students scared you. They were like a whole different species. You told Yoongi to wait for you outside. Supposedly his brother is the head student in the frat the party is in, so if you show up with Yoongi, no one will mess with you. As soon as you told your driver that you will message him, you open the door and come face to face with Yoongi.

He quickly grabs your hands and pull you inside. You were immediately thrown into a whole different world. Drugs and alcohol everywhere. Students all over each other. The ones who were somewhat sober started to recognize you, but then they look up a little and see Yoongi, they stop themselves from going any further. He quickly pulls you further into the building, you enter double doors that were currently shut. Once they open, you notice a huge room that was set up like a living room, but then it opened up to a backyard, mainly filled with a in-ground pool.

You didn't expect to see Taehyung standing behind a couch, with a red solo cup in his hands. His hair was a honey brown, which you assume is from lightening his hair for Monday. You also didn't expect to see Sinsi sitting on the couch in front of him. Somehow she managed to hold his hand in that position. Taehyung's eyes were on you, and his hand suddenly wasn't in hers. But before you could see anything else you look around other places. You see Jin and Namjoon, and a couple of other people.

“Ah! Yn you're here? You came for the free alcohol or drugs?” Seokjin tried to stand up but his words slurred and his intoxicated body gave out on him and landed on Joon, his boyfriend.

“Um, actually Yoongi asked me to come.” You smile and intertwin your arm into Yoongi’s, not to much. You prayed to someone that he wouldn't move his arm away. But instead you felt your arm grow goosebumps when he actually laces his fingers through yours.

“I'm going to go get us some drinks, have fun.”

You felt like you were in a movie of some sort. You, at a college party, with a guy that you want so badly, but got invited by who you assume was his competition in the tattoo business. Better yet, the guy you want has his suppose ex all over him.

You soon found Yoongi’s brother, you didn't catch his name, but you did catch the fact that you made him the coolest ‘dude’ on campus. You didn't know how to feel about being used, but you couldn't say anything, you agreed to come. Plus free alcohol. You’ll just count it as charity work since he said that he will, quote on quote, ‘be known for having the best party.’

You did your best to get lots of pictures with the party goers. At the same time, you've downed a couple of drinks, wanting it to help with everyone wanting something from you. You were just thankful that half of the people were shit faced.

Before taking pictures, you had the choice to hang out with Sinsi, she even offered to take your pictures for instagram.

It was about a hour later when the picture needs go down. Which meant that you were starting to feel the drink a little more now that you weren't doing much. In fact your head started to spin a little. You wanted to go back to the room you were first in, maybe sit down a bit.

Before you could make it to the double doors, a cliq of four girls blocked your view. You could tell that they were high out of their minds. But you could also tell that they could handle their drugs, so they looked pretty normal, other then red eyes.

“Would you like a picture or something?” You ask kind of confused to why they all had these rude faces. “No? Then what?”

“I, no we want to you follow us on instagram, and give us a shout out. We wanna be like you.” The girl in front say, then she crosses her arms, and the other three followed behind.

“Like me?” You were highly confused.

“A social star? Duh.” You almost wanted to cringe. Are they serious.

You didn't know that Yoongi was watching everything in the past hour, he was standing near the kitchen, it was on a slight higher level, he could see over people's head. He noticed the main girl in front to his his brothers ex. He looked further down the hall that you were standing in front of and he sees Taehyung leaving from the bathroom. He stops in his tracks when he sees you.

“How about no.” You give them a sarcastic smile. You almost wanted to laugh in their face. Did they think they could scare you into doing what they say.

“Do it, or face what we will bring you.” She raises her eyebrow. You made her smile when you put on a nervous face.

“Oh no, what ever will I do?” You just scoff, erasing the smirk off of her face.

“You've got one last chance, how hard is it? A simple follow and shoutout?” A girl in the back says.

“I've worked for what I got. Now if four broke ass college students want to jump me, bring it. Just know that right after this i'm going to go back to my million dollar home and talk to my rich friends, something youll never understand because you're stuck studying your life away.” You step forward showing that you weren't scared of them. If you were sober then you wouldn't of said what you did. But you weren't going to be forced to do something you didn't want to.

Then everything happened at once.

They started to attack but then two large hands come in. One came around your shoulders, pulling you back. You look over and see that the other hand is Yoongi, standing in front of the girls blocking them for you. Once they realized that it was him in front of them, they backed away almost immediately. At this time, everyone was now looking at you all. Then Yoongi’s brother pushed his way through.

“What the fuck Misa?” He yells, clearly intoxicated.

Your heart was racing and you were too focused on everything in front of you, that you didn't realize that you were still being pulled backwards. You frowned wanting to know who the hell was behind you. Your hands come up to grab on to the arm around your shoulders. But another hand came around your waist and a ‘shh’ was said into your ear. You kept walking backwards until you both were outside.

Your heart was still going, only because you were hoping that it wasn't who you thought it was. But then again you were. But what would you even say. Once the door was shut and you were alone in the screened in porch, he pulled away. You were hit with the cool air of the night, and you turned around. Standing there, Taehyung.

#Taehyung #kim #min #yoongi #tattoo au #stoner au #angst #smut #fluff #ambw #ambw kpop #kpop au #bts #bts tattoo #bts stoner #v #taehyung fluff #taehyung smut #taehyung angst

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hellevator-mp3 · 5 years

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how it all went wrong (and what went right) || Part 1

Pairing(s): Woosan, Seongsang, Yungi

Genre: ?? Not even sure what to call this?? mild fluff and idk what else

Word Count: 3000+

Warnings: bc this is a zombie au, there will probably be some mildly gory descriptions, moderate violence, and who knows what else?? but everything will be tagged here!

Author Note: y’all,,,, i literally wrote this in one night,,,, and i’m so excited to actually be posting it!! i got inspired to write this after reading “kenopsia” by skz_jpeg on ao3, which i 100% recommend!! anyways this probably won’t be super long of a series, but it’ll probably be somewhere between 10 and 20 parts?? i’m not 100% sure yet tho!!

it’s hard to forget where you were when tragedy struck, even after years pass.

when it started, yeosang was at his favorite department store, browsing the racks one minute, and locked in the manager’s office the next. his savior, a boy in red by the name of seonghwa, told him that he was mere feet away from the undead.

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even at night, the city of seoul was almost always bustling with people. whether they were just getting off work, or just going to work, just going shopping or coming home from a night of drinking, there were always people lining the streets. bars would be open, music blasting onto the streets every time the front door opened. businesses would have their lights on, workers dozing off behind desks and counters as they worked the midnight shift. corner stores were always open, their bright signs flashing “open!” at anyone who happened to pass by.

however, yeosang had never seen the seoul streets this empty and quiet. then again, he had never walked home in the dead of night with a machete clutched in one hand, and a stranger’s hand in the other. he had also never faced death in the face of the undead, but it turns out that there’s a first time for everything.

it had been peaceful, the late night crowds in the underground mall slowly dissipating as yeosang leisurely browsed the racks of his favorite department store at a quarter to midnight, just a few hours before the store would close. he had been in the underground mall for hours at this point, but had come out of nearly every store empty-handed, but he swore that that wouldn’t be the case with this one. although the mall was clearing out, there was still loud chatter in the hallways that enveloped the building. he assumed that the shrieks fading into the distance were due to a celebrity or something showing up, and continued on his search for new clothing. because his paycheck had been rather large this time around and he had money to spare, he decided to treat himself for once. he had an armful of clothes, and was just turning around to check out when a voice shouted “look out” not even a foot away from him, and he turned to see a person. but no, it wasn’t just any person. it was someone wearing the store’s uniform, presumably once an employee, but judging by the chunk of flesh missing from their neck, the sickly color of their skin, and the blood that stained their shirt, it could be assumed that they were no longer alive enough to be employed.

there was a tug on his wrist, and he watched the person - zombie? undead? - lurch dangerously close to where he was just standing. he was pulled back into a solid chest at the same time as a wooden pole appeared in the corner of his eye, smacking the undead on the side of the head, causing it to lose balance and tumble to the floor, which bought them just enough time to bolt for the manager's office. they were lucky, yeosang thought, at the metal door swung open with ease and soon clicked closed behind them. there was a small window up near the top of the door, which they watched through as the undead seemed to lose sight of them and wandered off. for a brief moment, yeosang compared the being to a baby, considering that it seemed to have the same concept of object permanence as one. he shook his head at the thought, watching the being stumble between the racks and out the front of the shop, presumably to look for another victim. a loud sigh of relief made reminded him of the other presence in the room, a bleach blond boy slumping against the wall next to the door. yeosang remained standing and studied him curiously, eyes raking over the unfamiliar face for a second before the boy looked up and they made eye contact -- and suddenly yeosang couldn’t look away. piercing, almost ashy green eyes held his gaze, the color unnatural but suiting the stranger. the firetruck red hoodie that covered his upper half was striking against his hair, the combo obviously very carefully put together to attract attention. the two sat in silence for a few moments, just studying one another, before the stranger was hauling himself back to his feet with the help of the wooden pole still clutched in his hand. his free hand was soon extended to yeosang, and he was introducing himself as seonghwa.

yeosang soon learned that the country was in a state of emergency. some sort of scientific outbreak had occurred, and soon, people were dying and coming back to life, but only halfway, resulting in beings like the one they had just seen. seonghwa informed him that the mall was crawling with them, but that it would be good for them to get out as soon as possible. yeosang nodded in response, before suggesting that the two of them stick together and go back to yeosang’s apartment, where they would likely be safer than out in the open. seonghwa readily agreed, and soon they were setting out. just before they left the store, however, yeosang headed to the back and grabbed one of the biggest backpacks he could find, and shoved some of the more useful clothes that he was planning on buying into it. after looking around and making sure the store was clear, he ordered seonghwa to go find either a leather jacket or a denim one. his only reply to the confused look he got was a deadpan one in return. “denim and leather are hard to bite through, and these things are humans, with human teeth.” he quietly informed him, getting an understanding nod in return. they split up but stayed within a few feet of one another, as yeosang shoved his arms through the sleeves of a denim jacket, and tossed a leather one into the backpack. just a few rows over, he saw seonghwa doing the same. he hissed that they needed to hurry, and the other nodded, before they joined up to exit the store.

they were lucky, somehow managing to make it to a camping supply store without seeing a single undead. they ducked inside, splitting up to find supplies to take home, since yeosang had mentioned that he didn’t have a lot of things that they would need. he figured that if the world ever sorted itself out, he’d keep a tally of what they stole - borrowed - and pay for it when everything was right again. seonghwa came back with his own bag, full of things that they would need if the electricity went out, or they ran out of food, and supplies to purify water if they needed to. yeosang was in the middle of unboxing a pocket knife, which he then used to cut the packaging on a machete. the pocket knife was stuffed into his jacket pocket, and seonghwa shoved another packaged machete into his bag before saying they needed to leave.

as they were navigating their way out of the mall, yeosang suddenly pulled seonghwa into a beauty supply store. seonghwa went to question him, but yeosang just pulled him to the side of the door into a small cubby-like space, pressing the two of them together and pressing a finger to his lips. they heard stumbling footsteps over the sound of their breathing, followed by a short moan that quickly dissipated as the figure passed. yeosang checked quickly to make sure it had passed, before venturing further into the store and gesturing for seonghwa to follow him. it wasn’t long before they stumbled across one of the undead at the back of the store, where yeosang was pulling down a box what appeared to be the same dye he used to achieve the blush colored hair he currently sported, as well as one that seonghwa assumed was his natural - or as close to natural as he could get - hair color to cover it up with. after the undead was taken care of and the dyes were in yeosang’s backpack, and he had finally convinced seonghwa to grab what he needed to maintain his own platinum blond hair (“it looks good on you! you have to keep it!” yeosang had rambled on excitedly at the prospect of helping seonghwa with his hair), the two continued to make their way out, the contents of their bags rattling slightly with every step. seonghwa cursed as they had to take out another undead before finally hitting the escalators, which hadn’t shut off just yet. they rode in silence, standing as close to each other as they could and watching each other’s back.

the sirens that blared got louder and louder the closer they got to the surface, and yeosang idly wondered why he couldn’t hear even a hint of them while he was in the store. when they finally got out of the mall, they found the streets empty and near void of life. the moans of the undead could be heard from where they were, so they decided to speed up their pace, even just a little bit. just a few blocks from yeosang’s apartment building, they were just passing by a supermarket when seonghwa pulled them inside, pulling the same maneuver as yeosang had just a few hours before, at the sight of a zombie about a mile away. he shushed yeosang quickly, keeping an eye out for the undead to pass them by. they were lucky it hadn’t noticed the automatic doors that had slid open at their appearance, and remained open as they stood next to it.

yeosang finally breathed a sigh of relief as seonghwa finally pulled himself away, before looking around, trying to ignore the flush on his cheeks from their proximity. sure, it was okay when yeosang had done it to seonghwa, but the other way around had a feeling bubbling up in yeosang’s stomach that he didn’t like. the building seemed quiet, and the two of them exchanged glances. “should we grab a cart or two and take some of this back to your place? before somebody else raids it?” seonghwa suggested quietly, eying the carts just past the door to their right. yeosang shrugged, agreeing that it might be a good idea.

since it was the dead of night and the country was considered under a state of emergency, it was assumed that most people would be holed up inside their apartments and houses under morning, at the very least. with a nod, they grabbed two of the shopping carts and started walking up and down the aisles. seonghwa stocked his full of bottled water, checking it often to make sure that it wasn’t too heavy to push down the street and to get into an elevator. yeosang’s was soon full of canned goods and other things that wouldn’t spoil quickly, along with little things for them to snack on in the meantime, things that they may not be able to enjoy for long. he also stocked up on various vitamins, telling seonghwa that having a stronger immune system may help them in the long run. seonghwa nodded in agreement, before also throwing bottles of shampoo into yeosang’s cart, “just in case”, he said. just as their quiet ‘shopping trip’ was coming to an end, they heard the automatic doors open and froze in their spot. footsteps echoed around the store, but there wasn’t a moan to be heard - therefore, it had to be somebody alive that was inhabiting the store with them. yeosang and seonghwa were soon back to back, wielding their respective weapons as they watched either end of the aisle with bated breath, waiting for either friend or foe to pop out.

a silver haired boy, and a black haired boy with red highlights appeared from behind the endcap, one of them holding a hand basket while the other wielded a kitchen knife. with his free hand, seonghwa, who was facing the two boys, tapped yeosang’s upper thigh to signal for him to turn around. the two groups finally took notice of one another, the silver haired boy nearly shrieking in surprise. the black haired boy quickly covered his mouth, shushing him quietly. “we’re not here to hurt you or raid you, we’re just trying to stock up before everyone else does. we can’t get back into our apartment, our building is surrounded in the undead and they’re walking the hallways, too, so this is our only shot.” the black haired boy explained quickly and quietly, letting his hand drop from the other boy’s mouth, and letting it drop to intertwine with the other’s. before yeosang could reply, seonghwa had already blurted out that they could follow them to yeosang’s apartment, and they could figure it out in the morning. the two boys exchanged glances, while yeosang was sputtering indignantly, yanking seonghwa to the end of the aisle and out of sight for a minute, completely disregarding their carts.

seonghwa raised an eyebrow, and yeosang took a deep breath before finally speaking a proper sentence. “you can't just invite people into my home!” he hissed, trying to make sure the others couldn't hear him. seonghwa sent him a deadpan look, before gesturing down to himself. at the realization that he was being slightly hypocritical, yeosang sighed, a hand drifting up and fingers rubbing at his temples. “it's different with you. you saved me, and i owe you.” he whispered, eyes closing as he tried to distract himself. why exactly did he so willingly offer up his home to a stranger?

the answer came to him in the form of the butterflies that reeled in his stomach when seonghwa grabbed his hand with one of his own, pulling it away from his face at the same time that his free hand reached out to cup yeosang’s chin and make him face the other. “then let them stay with us, and we'll be even. tomorrow, when they leave, it'll just be us again and we'll be fine.” seonghwa tried to soothe him, rubbing his thumb over yeosang’s cheek, who leaned into the touch.

it took a second for yeosang to relent, nodding into seonghwa’s palm. he heard the other laugh, and allowed himself to be pulled closer into a tight embrace before they headed back to the other two, acting as though nothing had happened. the two boys watched them nervously, the silver haired boy fiddling with his fiance's fingers to distract himself.

“if you get a cart and help us stock up, you can come home with us.” yeosang relayed to them quickly, and the two rushed off to get a cart, only after introducing themselves. the black haired boy was san, and the silver-haired boy was his fiance, wooyoung. it turned out that they lived just a block or two away from yeosang, thankfully far enough that they didn’t worry about seeing the undead that flocked their building. it wasn’t until nearly an hour later that they found themselves standing in front of yeosang’s apartment building. they had to abandon their carts several times during the walk home, hiding in doorways and behind pillars until the threat had passed, somehow managing to make it back in one piece. yeosang was the first to go up, taking the elevator to his floor and checking to make sure that it was clear before riding back down and guiding the rest up to his apartment. soon enough, they had managed to fit the three carts in the doorway, and were unpacking the supplies. “we need to find some way to board up the windows, just in case.” yeosang piped up from the kitchen, where he was stacking canned food in the cabinets. even though they were on the third floor, there was still a possibility of something - or someone - getting in through the window.

“and we should figure out how to rig up the hallway so nothing else can get down here.” san replied from the small dining room, where he was pushing the carts together near the window and going to join yeosang in the kitchen. wooyoung and seonghwa were quietly conversing as they unpacked the other supplies that seonghwa and yeosang had collected, as well as some little things that they managed to save from their apartment. soon enough, the four of them were gathered in the living room, where they quickly whipped up a list of things that they still needed, which included, but wasn’t limited to: sleeping bags, maybe air mattresses if they were lucky, along with other things like more matches and candles, batteries, a radio, and a few other things. they made themselves comfortable, yeosang pulling a blanket down from his closet for san and wooyoung, who had taken refuge on the couch. seonghwa had already said that he would be sleeping on the floor next to yeosang’s bed, “for safety reasons”. yeosang had rolled his eyes, a bright flush painting his cheeks as he pushed seonghwa away. moonlight still flooded in through the windows, signaling to them that sunrise was still a few hours away, and they had time to catch a little bit of shut-eye before it was time to figure out a plan.

yeosang woke sometime a little bit later with a racing heart and a scream hovering in the back of his throat, one that he barely managed to hold back. it seemed that either he had already made noise in his sleep, or seonghwa was just that light of a sleeper, considering that the other sat up quickly and glanced around, eyes falling on yeosang’s shiver ridden form. with a small noise, he crawled into bed next to yeosang, pulled the boy to his chest and soothing the boy with gentle strokes of his hands over his hair and back. seonghwa smiled as the boy melted into his chest, and found himself falling asleep again with yeosang’s fingers wrapped in his shirt.

san and wooyoung slept peacefully in the living room, wooyoung pressed into the back of the sofa. it was a good arrangement, considering that wooyoung got cold easily in the night, and san too hot.

silence once again draped over the apartment like a blanket as the people inside finally all fell into a deep sleep, to ease the tired they felt in their bones.

they were woken just a few hours later at the sound of frantic pounding on the door and screams for help.

#ateez fic #kpop fanfiction #kim hongjoong #song mingi #jeong yunho #jung wooyoung #choi san #kang yeosang #park seonghwa #choi jongho #woosan #seongsang #yungi #atz

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thecloserkin · 5 years

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book review: Mira Grant, Deadline (2011)

Genre: Sci-Fi

Is it the main pairing: Yes

Is it canon: Yes

Is it explicit: No

Is it endgame: Yes

Is it shippable: Yes

Bottom line: how is it possible that the book where one half of OTP is dead is shippier than the first one where they’re both alive

Book 2 of the Newsflash trilogy picks up with our boy Shaun, who’s turned desk jockey since he lost George, riding to the rescue of some buddies beset by a zombie swarm. Everyone makes it out alive and Shaun tries to play it like it’s no biggie but the truth is,

I’ve lost one of the integral traits of a good Irwin: I’m not having fun. When I wind up in the field, it’s a chore to be survived, not an adventure to be relished. Without that little spark of gosh-golly-wow to drive me on, I’m essentially a dead person walking … George is the one who stopped breathing, but I’m the one who gave up on living.

Without George he has nothing to live for and so he’s sensibly withdrawn from fieldwork. The one thing that keeps him going is George’s voice in his head, chiding him for (among other things) picking up a coffee instead of a can of Coke. He’s started drinking Coke to appease her. He says it himself: “I am a haunted house pretending to be a man.” As for whether she’s real or just a figment of his imagination, this is Shaun’s take:

Screw sane. I don’t want anything that makes her stop talking to me.

Buckle up for an angst rollercoaster, kids:

One apartment for me and George, who didn’t take up any physical space but was so much a part of every room that sometimes I could fool myself into thinking she had just stepped out for some fresh air.

Several people have said it doesn’t really feel like anybody lives there, and what they don’t seem to understand is I like it that way. As long as I’m not really living there, I never have to think about the fact that I’m living there alone.

Outwardly he’s functional i guess but this is not the behavior of a person who has Moved On.

Sometimes I think this series is a how-to manual for small business owners masquerading as science fiction. For Shaun and George, the work used to be everything. Now George is gone Shaun is in the unenviable position of having to make all the tough calls, and second-guessing every last one because maybe George would have done it better. Oy vey. Offhand he informs us that their parents are also suing Shaun for ownership of her intellectual property. I always knew they were vultures but seriously???

So Shaun’s raison d’être right now is to bring down the person or people who murdered George. Obviously this does not mean the ones who pulled the trigger, it means the ones who gave the order & plotted to remove her. In the process of doing this he uncovers an even bigger conspiracy—although maybe it’s merely the same conspiracy from Book 1, only expanded in scope. I’m not sure. What I’m mainly interested in is how bad absolutely clueless Shaun is at signaling or perceiving romantic interest. Like, there’s a co-worker/employee of his, and they’re thrown together rather a lot, and she’s clearly crushing on him hard only Shaun’s too dense to see it. After the whole affair ends disastrously (he sleeps with the poor girl then calls her by George’s name) he ruminates:

”Why would I know what the signs were? I never had to read them before.”

It’s obvious why Shaun, a not-unattractive grown ass man whose other social skills appear to fall well within the range of “normal,” has such atrophied skills when it comes to this one thing. He’s never had to use them. Here’s Maggie the relationship guru:

”Have you ever had a girlfriend?” “Not as such, no.” ”Have you ever been in love?” There’s never been a good answer to that question. I didn’t even try. I just shrugged.

I can’t find the tweet anymore but Seanan Maguire has confirmed that Shaun and George first got together the night after junior prom—they went with other people as a sort of experiment. (@JKRowling see, this is the sort of authorial headcanon that the fans actually clamor for.) The two of them just skipped right over the tentative fumbling awkward initial stages of dating, of getting to know each other, because they already know each other inside out. Shaun says:

Sometimes I’m even arrogant enough to think the Rising happened so we could be together.

Colloquially we use the term two people “being together” to mean they enter into an exclusive romantic relationship. But it’s intentionally ambiguous here whether he means that, or just the two of them finding each other, because what would have been the chances of their being raised together absent a global catastrophe like a zombie apocalypse. Shaun finds it impossible to separate the romantic aspect of their relationship from the familial bond, and that’s why I love incest thanks for coming to my ted talk. Oh, here’s Mahir the relationship guru:

”I mean, I didn’t know…” “What, that I loved your sister? Of course you didn’t, just like you had no idea Rebecca fancied you. You never had to go searching like the rest of us.”

Can I just say, on an unrelated note, I feel SO BAD for Mahir’s wife who’s not even a proper character? She doesn't get any screentime. But this is a small business how-to manual, remember, and the way Shaun is always ringing Mahir at 2 in the morning and Mahir feels obligated to pick up because it’s his boss? Mahir’s wife is a saint, canonize her immediately. Back to my earlier point about how Shaun has less experience with flirting/dating than your average fourteen-year-old:

This sort of thing was easier to handle when George was around. She was always the one who noticed when girls started crushing on me, and she made them go away. One way or another. I’ve never tried to deal with this sort of situation on my own before.

What’s fascinating is that it’s not just romantic entanglements that he’s at a loss to deal with:

I’d never driven any real distance with a passenger—not unless you counted George, who didn’t actually change the way the bike was balanced, or make it necessary for me to compensate for additional weight.

WHEN GEORGE RODE PILLION ON HIS MOTORCYCLE IT DIDN’T EVEN THROW OFF HIS BALANCE!!! He’s not used to having to think about compensating for a passenger’s weight bc with George everything came naturally!!! If this isn’t a metaphor for their entire relationship idk what the hell it is.

She didn’t like touching people, so I touched them for her. She didn’t like emotional displays, so I took up the slack.

She was the yin to his yang, they were a team etc etc. Here is how Shaun reacts when the book’s antagonist gives his Evil Villain Spiel:

”I never gave you much credit for brains, Shaun—that was your sister’s department, God rest her soul, and if she made any errors in judgment, it was in trusting you to watch her back—but I still thought you were smarter than this.” “You take that back,” I whispered.

Shaun couldn’t care less that this fool gives him zero credit in the brains department, but let him impugn George’s judgment even slightly and our boy is ready to throw hands. We stan.

These are my two favorite passages from the book:

George and I shared a lot of rooms exactly like this one, one of us dozing while the other kept working, the staccato click of keys providing the white noise that meant it was safe to sleep.

It’s a work partnership! It’s a sibling bond! It’s a romantic pairing! It’s us-against-the-world, it’s everything! Also this:

George and I used to have shower races. Who could get in and clean and out again in the shortest amount of time. All the guys we went to school with insisted that their girlfriends and sisters took forever in the bathroom, but George always beat me … once a month or so, she’d take over the bathroom for an afternoon to dye her hair back to its original color, which inevitably resulted in her shouting for me to come in and help her dye her roots. The sink on our old bathroom was stained a permanent brown by the time we were sixteen, and we ruined so many towels.

Lol the implied contrast between “other guys who complained about their gfs/sisters” and Shaun who’s been President of the Georgia Mason Fan Club for over two decades.

ANYWAY the twist at the end of this novel is that George is alive. She’s being held at some scary, sterile government facility, and it’s clear from a minor early plot point involving clones that this isn’t George, it’s got to be a George-clone. Because George 1.0 died in Shaun’s arms. But George 2.0 has got all George’s memories so we’re going to go ahead and treat her just like George, which sets us up nicely for alternating Shaun-and-George POVs when we return for the final installment of the “Newsflesh” trilogy.

#book review #newsflesh #georgia x shaun

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longeyelashedtragedy · 6 years

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i was tagged by @anidlebrain <3

last

1. drink - blue gatorade (i tried to explain the “if you call blue gatorade by its real name you’re a cop” meme to my mom and she didn’t get it lmao) 2. phone call - mom 3. text message - to my coworker, “I hope it stayed uneventful!!! I will get on it. I’m feeling a lot better at this point.” 4. song you listened to - zwischen uns by eisbrecher 5. time you cried - i don’t remember!

ever

6. dated someone twice - no 7. kissed someone and regretted it - yes 8. been cheated on - yes 9. lost someone special - yes 10. been depressed - lmao yes 11. gotten drunk and thrown up - yes, 0/100 do not recommend

fave colours

12. black 13. pink 14. red

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - not really? 16. fallen out of love - no <3 17. laughed until you cried - yessss 18. found out someone was talking about you - nope 19. met someone who changed you - nope 20. found out who your friends are - i know who my friends are! 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - not so far in 2018 :(

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - i know or have known most of them irl 23. do you have any pets - no 24. do you want to change your name - i’d love to, but to what? 25. what did you do for your last birthday - took myself to buy some books and a Seasonal Drink, went for a walk in my fav state park with my family, then had extended family over for sushi and a key lime pie and thanksgiving dessert leftovers <3 26. what time did you wake up today - 10 am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night - SLEEPING CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE 28. what is something you can’t wait for - the future 30. what are you listening to right now - more eisbrecher 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - yup 32. something thats getting on your nerves - people being GODDAMN DRAMATIC about politics 33. most visited website - according to chrome it seems to be tumblr. ew 34. hair colour - fake red, my roots are overly long, i need to re-dye 35. long or short hair - medium 36. do you have a crush on someone - INDEED 37. what do you like about yourself - i’m funny, try to be empathetic, i am smart and an original thinker, i am introspective, i have fantastic taste in music 38. want any piercings - no 39. blood type - o positive 40. nicknames - aerys, ulli 41. relationship status - engaged to @olimpiavanheller but we all know that 42. zodiac - sagttarius 43. pronouns - she/her 44. fave tv shows - the sopranos, keeping up appearances, house of cards, breaking bad, better call saul, mad men, narcos 45. tattoos - no 46. right or left handed - right 47. ever had surgery - wisdom teeth, tailbone cyst out in 2007, guess what’s getting removed again on maximo k’s bday? yayyy 48. piercings - no 49. sport - i like watching football and figure skating, i’d rather die than play sports lmao 53. drinking - sometimes 54. i’m about to watch - a video 56. want - to feel like i can make friends but the older i get the more i legit see that many people are very shallow and especially around here people are always posturing and i can’t fuck with that. also i want to travel more and i want to be permanently with my wofe 57. get married - yesssss 58. career - hopefully soon

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - i don’t know? 60. lips or eyes - eyes 61. shorter or taller - both have their merits 62. older or younger - older 63. nice arms or stomach - i don’t give a shit lol 64. hookup or relationship - relationship 65. troublemaker or hesitant - careful troublemaker

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - i don’t think so? 67. drank hard liquor - yup 68. lost glasses - i don’t wear them 69. turned someone down - yup 70. sex on first date - yup 71. broken someones heart - definitely 72. had your heart broken - yes 73. been arrested - nope 74. cried when someone died - yes 75. fallen for a friend - yes

do you believe in

76. yourself - more than i used to? 77. miracles - yes 78. love at first sight - it’s happened to me so 79. santa claus - i’m jewish lmao 80. kiss on a first date - sure, why not? 81. angels - i never think about this

other

82. best friend’s name - layla and “Hand” lma0 83. eye colour - blue 84. fave movie - mulholland drive, the producers (1968), city of god, little miss sunshine, mary poppins, motorcycle diaries, y tu mama tambien, willy wonka & the chocolate factory...what else am i missing 85. fave actor - tom wlaschiha :p

tagging: @feedingmyinsomnia @ajax-daughter-of-telamon @olimpiavanheller idk who likes to do to these? YOU

#about me

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indigo-streaks-in-her-hair · 7 years

Text

hair dye [ cm x r ]

fandom : Dear Evan Hansen

by : Summer

pairing : Connor Murphy x Reader

summary : in which you and Zoe are dying your hair and try to convince Connor to dye his.

request : “Could you write some Connor Murphy imagine where he is a virgin and the reader isn’t and it’s some smut.”

word count : 7,007

warnings : boy oh boy is this gonna be a sMUT HNNGGGFFFF, y’all can’t have a smut w/o a hella lotta sexual innuendos, cursing, mentions blood?, ooc writing, rushed writing, terrible writing in general;;,,,,,

a / n : Inspired by when I dyed my hair and was super lazy per usual and stained my pillowcase. i’m such a sinner… Is it just me or did my writing change completely like halfway through it? idk it’s bad, sorry. Thanks for reading though. Any sort of support is sincerely respected: liking, commenting, reblogging, following, anything! Constructive criticism is always appreciated :) Much love.

“What the alien cult shit is going on?” Connor asked with a very pissed and very confused expression.

He had just walked past the bathroom when he saw his sister sitting on a chair with strands of hair sectioned off into tubes of tin foil. Y/N, his girlfriend was standing beside Zoe with purple hands. Purple? Blue? Indigo.

“It’s the devil himself,” Zoe said sarcastically.

“You little bi-”

“Zoe,” You cut off Connor rapidly, “if anything he’s a handsome devil.”

“…Fuck you,” Connor mumbled, crossing his arms, and leaning against the doorframe.

“Y/N, you’re gross,” Zoe groaned. You snapped your indigo stained gloves off.

“Grossly in love,” you sang, walking over to Connor and tapping him on the nose. His scowl softened just slightly. Zoe simply groaned.

“I literally cannot have a single day without sharing you,” Zoe slapped the bathroom counter with both hands, “Y/N, you’re supposed to be my best friend. If anything, you’re like my sister and that’d be super weird to think of my sister dating my brother.”

Connor raised his eyebrow and slowly slid his arm over your shoulders. You leaned into his side, expecting him to say exactly what he’d said next.

“You can think of Y/N as your sister-in-law,” he smirked.

Zoe let out a forced gag. Connor stuck his tongue out at her. You waved your arms to cut through their petty teasing.

“If you must know, Connor,” you began, taking a step back to stand in front of Zoe, “We’re dying each other’s hair. After Zoe’s indigo streaks, I’m thinking of doing an ombré to red.” (a/n: if you have darker hair then imagine you bleached it before dying it)

“Okay… but, why?” he responded boredly.

“Well, why not?”

“But why would you?”

“Because it’s like, color! And in your hair. Doesn’t that sound fun or something?”

“Not really.”

You let out an exasperated sigh, turning to Zoe to back you up. She had a mischievous glint in her eye.

“You know,” she smiled slyly, “I think Connor should see how fun it is for himself.”

Connor’s eyes widened. You gasped far too loudly.

“Connor we should totally dye your hair,” you began bouncing up and down like a little child.

“Absolutely not,” Connor shook his head.

“Why not?” you whined.

“Why should I?” he raised his voice an octave to mimic yours.

“You’re so stuck up,” Zoe rolled her eyes, “seriously, there’s no harm in doing it!”

Connor opened his mouth to object, but you interrupted him.

“And I thought you liked spending time with me,” you fake pouted.

“Of course I do,” he frowned, “but not with this gremlin,” he gestured to Zoe, who mocked offense. You decided to try at him with a different approach.

“Aw babe,” you placed your hand against his cheek, moving it back against his head with every word, “I thought you loved when put my hands into your hair, and give it a nice tug.”

You tugged the handful of his hair you had roughly, and he let out a low growl.

“Enough of all of that disgusting flirting, or whatever it is you weirdos do,” Zoe interjected, “are you gonna dye your hair or what?”

You bit your lip, “And even if you don’t like it, I’ll make sure you have fun one way or another,” you winked.

Connor’s face flushed as he groaned angrily. You giggled at him being all flustered.

“Zo, this is exactly the kind of red I’m going for!” you pointed to Connor’s reddening cheeks.

Zoe snorted, failing to hold back her laughter.

“Whatever!” Connor yelled.

You picked up a couple different hair dye colors you had. Holding up a dark blue shade up to Zoe, she posed thoughtfully. Connor spoke up, eyeing the label on the box.

“None of that permanent bullshit,” he crossed his arms, “don’t you have stuff that, like, washes out?”

“As a matter of fact, we do, brother dearest,” Zoe searched through her cluttered bag for the hair chalk you two had gotten to test how different colors would look on your hair.

She handed you a dark blue shade fairly similar to the dye you had in hand. You held them out to Connor.

“What do you think?” you asked.

“I don’t care as long as that,” he pointed at Zoe, “isn’t putting its hands anywhere near me.”

“Make all the excuses you want, Con, but we all know you’re just desperate to have Y/N’s hands all over you,” Zoe smirked.

You rolled your eyes, “Oh, so it’s not disgusting for you to make sexual innuendos about us?”

She giggled, while shrugging. Connor merely scoffed.

“Please,” he seethed, “You can’t keep your hands off of me, can’t you Y/N?”

You raised your eyebrow, as if to warn him ‘two can play at this game’.

“No,” you mumbled innocently, “but you sure don’t seem to mind.”

“Jesus Christ,” Zoe intercepted, “are you guys gonna keep taunting each other or just do it on the counter?”

It all went silent for a good two minutes. You and Connor just stared at Zoe. She darted her eyes left and right for anything to change the subject. She lifted up the hair chalk.

“So, this dark blue?” she smiled awkwardly.

“Yeah,” you replied nonchalantly, as if nothing happened beforehand, “but first, let’s dye my hair.”

After ten minutes, the whole bottom layer of you hair was coated in a blood red dye, courtesy of Zoe. Connor had just sat on the counter the entire time, picking the nail polish off of his nails the entire time. Black flakes littered the sink.

“This is fucking boring,” Connor complained bluntly.

“You know,” Zoe glared, “you don’t have to stay and watch us. You can literally do anything else other than be a creepy stalker or whatever.”

“Nah Zo,” you raised your eyebrows, turning back to look at her, “I’m sure if he could, he’d spend every minute of every day undressing me with his eyes.”

“Literally every time you open your mouth, you have to make a sexual innuendo.”

Connor blew a strand of hair out of his face and propped his legs on top of your knees. You placed your hands on top of his lower legs, and fiddled with the cuffs of his black jeans.

“I don’t have to make verbal innuendos all the time,” you trailed your hands higher up to Connor’s knees, then his thighs, “I can make physical innuendos too.”

Connor looked like he was on the verge of a sweat. You brought your hands up the slightest bit higher and he violently kicked, his foot reaching dangerously close to your face.

“I’m out,” Zoe yelled, almost sprinting out of the bathroom.

Connor hopped off of the counter and slammed the door shut. Click. And suddenly the space seemed thick between you two. An atmosphere of fright grew in the small room, but you refused to let it show. Instead, you presented him a gaudy grin.

Connor slowly turned around, with a furious expression on his face. His eyebrows were arched down, his teeth clenched in a tight scowl, and his ice-cold eyes boring into yours. You didn’t know what to expect next.

You would’ve fallen back at the sudden impact of Connor hadn’t pulled you back by the rear. He slammed his lips fiercely against yours with a fiery passion that could match your reddening hair. Your lips moved in a quickening synchronization as you felt heat wrap around you.

You brought your hands up to grasp the sides of his cheeks, tracing back from his jawline, and ultimately pulling farther into his messy knotted locks. You balled up your fists in his hair and tugged hard, hearing him let out a staggering growl. He pulled you closer, biting hard on your lower lip, making you let out a strangled whimper in return. His chest pressed roughly against yours as you wrapped your left leg around his right. You felt his grip on your rear growing tighter and his hand shift closer your core, his bony fingers pressing up firmly, making you feel weak. You pushed against the bulge forming in his jeans.

He lifted his hand to reach your cheek, and you pulled away suddenly, sitting back into the chair, trying hard not to laugh at his next angry outburst.

“What the fuck?” he yelled, shooting his arms up and dropping them to hit his legs.

“Hair, babe,” you pointed to your hair as he let out an annoyed sigh.

“Well, wash it out!”

Speedy footsteps approached the bathroom, and was replaced with a loud banging on the door.

“I hear yelling!” Zoe shouted, “You better not be murdering my best friend in there!”

“You mean your only friend?” Connor shot back.

You slipped past Connor and unlocked the door, allowing Zoe to stomp in. She exchanged a glance between you, then to Connor, and personally evaluated the scene, focusing very intently on Connor’s disheveled and even messier than usual hair.

“I leave for ten minutes and you animals cannot control yourselves,” she pointed her index finger up and waved it accusingly at the two of you.

You walked around her to stand by Connor and slipped your arm around his waist. He shot you a threatening look, almost daring you to try him.

“I,” You placed your hand over your chest vainly, “can control myself just fine. Your brother on the other hand,” you moved your hand from your chest to pat him gently on the stomach, “might have just the slightest difficulty with that.”

Connor immediately shoved out of your hold and took a step back.

“I can control myself just fucking fine,” he glared, fuming through clenched teeth.

“Oh really?” you laughed, “I beg to differ. Yeah, exhibit A,” you proudly lifted your arms out and gestured to Connor’s pants, presenting his very apparent… excitement. He placed his hands in front of him to cover it, in obvious embarrassment.

“I’m sure you wouldn’t mind taking about how you were just soaking your fucking panties over me,” Connor argued, and mocking you in a high-pitched tone, he moaned, “Oh Connor! Mmm, yes Connor! Oh, oohh, Connor, fuck me sideways with a spork!” he gasped, flailing his hands back and forth and rubbing them up and down his chest to ridicule you more.

Zoe could do nothing but blink rapidly, and remained in a still position, her mouth hung open in clear disgust. Slowly and silently, you pressed her chin up and closed her mouth, to which she responded by shaking her head violently.

“Wow, okay,” she mumbled out, “I am.. related, to this-this.. person..,” she trailed off.

Connor rolled his eyes and walked out, before you could contradict him. Maybe he won that round, but you planned for him to take his sorry words and shove them back down his throat.

“So,” you dragged out the ‘o’, hoping to resurrect Zoe from her state of absolute disbelief, “how long until I can wash this dye out?”

“…Twenty minutes.”

After seven or eight painfully awkward minutes, you and Zoe decided to look for Connor so you could use the blue hair chalk. When he wasn’t anywhere to be seen in his room, the two of you had found him in the kitchen, drinking the milk straight from the container. Zoe was about to tell him off before he had told her there was barely any left, anyways. You held up the temporary dyes. He averted his eyes from you and simply frowned.

“Hey Mr. Boyfriend-of-the-year,” you joked, “how’s about we put a little color in that hair and a smile on that face, huh?”

He completely ignored you.

“Don’t be petty, babe,” you dropped your head on his shoulder, and he shrugged you off. Zoe decided to butt in.

“Hey Connor, we’ve got a few minutes, let’s put some of this chalk on your hair,” she spoke, with fake enthusiasm.

“You know, Zoe,” he propped his hand upwards, “I don’t really think I want to. Yeah, a certain someone really changed my mind.”

Zoe turned to you, and you just closed your eyes, brows raised, and let out a sharp exhale.

“Can I change it back?” you pleaded, and Connor raised an eyebrow at you with a cocky smile, “What can I do that’s not non-consensual, illegal, out of a $10 budget range, or flat out disgusting?”

“I think you know,” he chuckled while pulling out his phone to record.

“How would I- oh,” you winced, knowing how regretful you’d be in the very near future.

“Alright… Go!” he pressed the record button.

“Here goes any shred of respect I’ve ever had for myself,” you sighed loudly, “Hmm, o-oh, Connor… uh, mmm Connor Murphy is the sexiest human being! Oohh Connor,” you spoke mortified, burying your face into your hands. Connor and Zoe were laughing obnoxiously.

“Keep going,” Connor choked, his voice caught in laughter. You shook your head in total disappointment of yourself.

“Connor Murphy has the biggest dick in the world,” you forced out dryly.

“Say-,” Connor cut himself off with a snort, “Say ‘I rub my nipples thinking about you every single night’!”

“Alright. You heard it here folks,” you grinned, “Connor Murphy rubs his nipples thinking about me every single night! That’s gotta be some serious commitment!”

“God damn it, you know what I mean!”

“Fine, fine, okay,” you made a noise of frustration, “um… I rub my nipples,” you pinched the bridge of your nose, “thinking about you every single night. Satisfied, asshole?”

“Not as satisfied as you’ll be, soon,” Connor taunted smugly, rewatching the video.

You were, in fact, humiliated and wanted nothing more than to take that phone and shove it up his ass. But, you had to admit, you loved seeing how much he laughed and smiled. That was sort of a rare sight and, as agonizing as the whole experience was, you couldn’t help but wager the fact that it might have been worth it. And there was also another bonus:

“So are we gonna put this blue in your hair or what?”

You stood behind a seated Connor, running your fingers through his hair, trying to take out the majority of knots in it. It was a nice silence, not overwhelmingly tense. He was relaxing into your touch, the feeling of your fingernails lightly dragging from his scalp to give a gently pull at the ends was an incredible amount of soothing and comforting to him. You took your hands out of his hair before he could get too comfortable or even fall asleep.

Zoe on the left side, you on the right, the both of you began sectioning of different portions of his hair for the coloring process. Starting from the back of his head and slowly making your way to his front, you colored random streaks of the pigment into his curly strands. The bright bathroom lighting highlighting the blue gave him such an oceanic aura, you couldn’t help but smile. His waves of hair mimicked the waves of the ocean, and his pale skin and icey eyes greatly resembled that of sea foam, and the accents of pale brown hair was the shore his waves were crashing into.

He was stunning, to say the least.

“Keep staring and smiling at me, why don’t you,” Connor remarked.

“I can’t help it that you’re beautiful,” you gazed into his calming eyes.

Zoe made a noise that sounded like a retch. You looked over at her to see her pointing at her open mouth, tongue sticking out, and eyebrows furrowed with repulse. You gave her a look that expressed your annoyance with her replies to anytime you and Connor conversed.

“It’s time for you to wash out your hair,” she told you.

“Okay, but first,” you turned your attention to Connor, who looked back at you expectantly, “Con, what do you think of your hair?”

“It’s eh,” he shrugged, “I don’t hate it, but I don’t really like it either. You sure this stuff washes out? I don’t want to have to go to school looking like a fucking smurf.”

You nearly choked trying to hold back a laugh. Connor Smurfy. Recomposing yourself, you tried to keep your voice steady.

“Yeah, you want to wash it out?” you asked him, and he nodded, “Okay, babe, I’ll go wash my hair out in the other bathroom.”

“What, you don’t want to shower with me?” he teased, raising his eyebrows suggestively. You bit your lip as you gradually turned around to answer him.

“First of all,” you held up one finger, “I’m just rinsing my hair, no stripping required. And second,” you paused, and acted as if you were actually considering it, “nope!”

You skipped away and Zoe trailed behind you. As soon as you reached the door, you halted abruptly, causing Zoe to almost fall into you without any sudden warning.

“I think I actually might take a shower,” you rethought, “I’m totally exhausted. Do you think I could spend the night?”

“Definitely,” Zoe responded, “my parents love having you over, ‘cause you,” she curled her fingers into quotation marks, “‘keep Connor sane’ or whatever.”

“Okay,” you snickered, “I’ll tell my folks. Do you have a change of clothes I can borrow?”

“Steal some of Connor’s, I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“But why can’t-”

“No more questions, lady! Now get in that shower before all that red poisons your brain,” she pushed you roughly into the bathroom, and left without a single other word.

You, being left with no other choice, shot your parents a quick text, then stripped down and hopped into the shower. The icy water hit immediately, stinging like bullets into your back, and each drop made you cringe more until the cold subsided into a warmth you could get used to. The hot water blanketed you in a heavy layer of steam and relaxation. Looking down at the floor beneath you, the heavily pigmented, rich red flooded your feet and covered them in a massacre of dye. After rinsing out as much of the color as you could, your hair was left drizzling with pink water.

Picking up the first bottle of shampoo your eyes landed on, you applied a generous amount to your hair, scrunching swirls all over your head, creating a faux hawk, and messing with the foam bubbles while humming a random tune you had gotten stuck in your head. The strawberry scent was very familiar to you in a way you did not know.

The low patter of the water against the floor was very reminiscent of a soft rain. You felt like you could stay there for hours.

The bathroom silenced as you turned off the faucet. The curtains opened with a swish and the chills that hit your body were wrapped tightly with a towel. Making sure it was secured tight around your chest, you ventured into Connor’s room, where you found him laying in bed, staring at the ceiling. You knocked to make sure he knew you were there.

He sat up, and you could see him clearer. His hair had been pulled back into a messy bun, and the blue had been washed clean out. It still looked damp, however a few stray strands frayed their way out. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, most likely because he was getting ready to sleep. The hairs on his chest were prominent against his pale, scrawny, yet toned figure.

“What do you need?” he asked.

“You,” you replied drastically with an elongated pause, taking great satisfaction in watching his face grow wildly red and his eyes widen with shock, before finishing your sentence, “…to get me a pair of clothes to change into.”

“Why can’t you borrow Zoe’s?” he frowned, knitting his eyebrows down bitterly.

“I’m already here,” you tugged up the loosening side of your towel.

Connor just shook his head and tossed you one of his shirts and a pair of pants from the floor.

“Are these clean?” you studied his clothes carefully, hoping not to find any gross stains on them.

“They’re clean enough,” he fell back onto his bed.

Feeling too tired to contradict him, you decided it was fine to just sleep in those clothes. You stepped into his surprisingly spacious closet to allow yourself some privacy. The friction of dry fabric against wet skin proved difficult as you tried to tug on his clothes. After a long and tiresome polyester battle, you were able to burst out of the closet with obvious relief written all over your face.

“I’m gay for Connor Murphy!” you screamed, charging to belly flop on an unsuspecting sprawled out Connor laying in bed.

“What the fu-OOF!” your sudden impact against him nearly knocked the wind out of him.

You scrawled your arms around his bare torso and wrapped your legs round his, intertwining them firmly. You pressed your head deep against his chest, your ear resting above his heart, listening to your favorite sound: the constant beating of his heart.

“Jesus fucking christ,” he mumbled, “you could at least warn a guy.”

He pulled the thin tie out of his hair, then he turned to his right side, and laid you on the plush mattress. He brushed your wet hair off of his chest, seeming displeased by the water that was infecting his white sheets and pillows. You hooked your arm under his own and around and over his shoulder, placing a soft, lingering kiss on his chest.

Connor pulled the covers over the two of you, then placed his hand on your thigh, and inched it upward slowly, as he wrapped his other arm crossing over your back and stroked your side. He pressed a firm kiss against your temple, as you began to doze off.

Connor wasn’t one who usually slept early, but you were a great exception. He felt unusually comfortable and secure as he held you, and observed the current situation intently.

Your body was warm, but to him you were radiating. You were sweating, but to him you were sparkling. You were quietly snoring, but to him you were an angelic choir. His clothes were dirty and wrinkled, but to him you wore them like a model. The constant rising and falling if your chest was a mesmerizing dance that he could watch forever.

And he did.

He gazed at your peaceful resting form until he forgot how to keep his eyes open.

3:28 AM in piercing red light was the first thing Connor saw when he opened his eyes. His room was pitch black other than the digital clock on his bedside table. The lopsided shift in the mattress and the arm hooked loosely around his middle indicated that you were well asleep next to him. He stroked down your arm until he found the palm of your hand. Intertwining his fingers with yours, he glided his thumb over your index finger, feeling over every joint and every small indent. He could feel himself beginning to grin stupidly at your soft touch.

What Connor didn’t know was that his fragile actions had aided in helping you slowly regain your consciousness. Still, you remained silent and motionless, except for a ghost of a smile you had failed to try to hide. It was a habit of Connor’s that you loved so much when he would fiddle with your hands, your hair, your cheeks, and even the hems of the shirts and shorts you wore. In quiet moments like so, it gave you a great time to think about how much you adored his affection. Sure, he wasn’t really verbally affectionate, but any hug or kiss shared between the two of you felt like one of the closest connections that could ever be created between a pair.

Connor wasn’t one for being open and expressive about his feelings so it would be incredibly rare to hear him go on endlessly about why he loved you, but he’d always think about how incredible you are on a daily basis, even if you can annoy the living shit out of him, sometimes.

He liked how you didn’t cower in fear at his very presence. He liked how you could naturally approach him and how you could hold a regular conversation with him without shaking your voice or giving him an uneasy look. He loved how you didn’t mind if he wanted to hold or kiss you, and in fact wanted him to touch you constantly. He loved that no matter how much you two could joke around, you would never bluntly insult him with name calling. And he absolutely loved how trusting enough you were with him to fall asleep on the same bed and not be afraid of all the dark twisted lies that other people would accuse him of.

Something pricked at his throat and his mouth went dry. He squeezed your hand ever so slightly as he shifted to grab the plastic water bottle on his bedside table. In his blind searching, he felt the back of his hand hit cool plastic and a loud impact on the floor.

“Shit,” he whispered, as you tried desperately not to giggle at his pointless clumsiness.

With your eyes still closed, you felt a great shift on the other side of the bed and heard a small click, as the dark shifted to a soft light. You could hear Connor’s feet hit the ground and the low crinkle of the water bottle only to hear it drop again. You expected him to curse again but instead were confused by his eerie silence.

Connor dropped his feet to the floor, picking up his water bottle, then turned around to admire the sleeping beauty on his bed only to have his chest feel heavy and his breathing grow labored as he registered the scene in front of him. He dropped his water bottle, and everything seemed to go in slow motion. The love of his life was laying limp and unconscious on his bed as wet, blood red stains surrounded her head in the pillows. He was so confused and scared, he didn’t know what the hell to do.

“Fuck!” he yelled, running his hands through his hair, and tugging painfully, “Shit, shit, shit, shit…” he mumbled repetitively.

Quickly he leaned over and shook you vigorously by the arm. Your eyes shot open and you jolted completely awake with a tense flinch.

“Connor, what the fuck?” you slurred, stretching your arms outwards, and twisting your torso, letting out a crack that made you cringe.

“What the fuck?” he gestured to the dark red up and down his pillow.

You turned your head to look at what he was talking about, and sections of your now dry hair fell in front of your face. The red illuminated in the lamp light. Connor fell back onto his bed, clutching his head and exhaling loudly, casually mortified albeit relieved. A dopey smile grew on your face as you let out a great laugh, leaning your head into his back.

“It’s not fucking funny,” he grunted. He gripped you by the waist and held you firmly. You hummed, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“It’s kinda funny,” you chuckled.

He didn’t say anything. Instead, he tightened his constricting hold on you and dug his fingernails into your sides. You rubbed circles into his back.

“Hey,” you whispered, “I’m still here and I’m perfectly okay.”

He nodded slowly into the crook of your neck, his hair tickling you slightly. You placed a light kiss in his hair. His limbs were taut around your body.

“You’re so tense,” you shifted him to lay down on the bed.

His grip loosened just slightly as he pulled back to admire you. You were absolutely infatuated with his eyes. Watching his pupils dilate against his colorful irises was like seeing art in motion. His eyes were rimmed with dulled red bags. You leaned your forehead against his own.

“Aren’t you tired?” you questioned.

“Not really,” he mumbled.

You leaned forward to press your lips against his, and he gladly met you halfway. When you parted, you leaned over the edge of the bed to pick up the water bottle on the floor. You handed it to him and he said a quick “thank you”. He took the cap off and just stared at it. You sat confused in silence for a good minute.

“Connor,” you leaned back against the pillows, “take a fucking sip.”

Whatever trance he was in, he seemed to snap out of it because he flinched and downed what was left of the bottle. He threw the empty plastic aside, and dropped his head into your lap. He closed his eyes.

“Fuck,” he said, “I thought I fucking lost you.”

“You actually thought I was gone?” you ran your hands through his hair.

“I know, I know, it’s dumb. Shut up.”

“Aw, it’s not like I died or anything- I mean I just dyed my hair.”

“Oh my fucking god, just shut up about it!”

“Hey, you saw me breath-”

Of course Connor used the cliche “shut you up with a kiss” move. He kissed you fiercely, biting hard against your top lip. You immediately held onto his shoulders, whimpered quietly, then rolling yourself on top of him. He pushed roughly against you, his tongue swirling with yours. You shoved him back, cringing as he hit the headboard. He inhaled sharply, and you pulled away.

“You know,” you gasped as he attacked your neck, working a gentle yet violent demeanor, “it’s funny how you can blackmail me, you can tease me, and you can pretend to hate me when I annoy you,” tears pricked your eyes as he bit down hard on a sensitive spot, proceeding to trail his kisses down your chest, “but just have a little ‘fake blood’ and suddenly you’re all-”

“If you don’t shut up about it then I will make you bleed,” his arms scrambled to touch every dip and crook on your body.

You moved your hands against Connor’s chest and forcefully pried him off of you. He fell back with little restraint. Lifting his head up, he was wheezing as if he’d just ran a marathon. Sitting upright in his lap, you could feel his excitement poking underneath you.

“Listen here, lover boy,” you placed your hands on your thighs and hunched over forward, “First of all, obviously you don’t know, but I’ve already ‘popped my cherry’, alright?” you made quotation marks with your hands. He lifted his head down from the ceiling to you, looking absolutely taken aback.

“Second of all,” you placed your arms on his shoulders as he gripped the bed sheets in a faint panic, “you can make all the sex jokes you want, or spit a shit load of game, but we both know you’ve never gotten it on once.”

Connor held onto his bed sheets so tight he was sure he’d rip the fabric. His eye twitched slightly as he chewed roughly onto his lower lip. He knew he couldn’t defend himself there.

“And third,” you slid your hand down from his shoulders to his elbows, “it is almost four in the morning and your parents are just a couple rooms away. So if you so desperately want this, then it’ll be the most quiet passionate love making in fucking history.”

Connor was absolutely sure he wasn’t thinking at all when he answered you.

“Shit…,” he murmured, “I want this so badly,” he was completely mesmerised by the idea of it with you.

You gaped at him, blinking a couple times before nodding steadily. You pulled yourself off of his lap.

“Okay,” you recollected your thoughts, “do you… have a condom?”

Leaning over to his side, he stretched out his arm to pull open his drawer.

“I’ll be honest,” you could hear the shifting of various items as he searched, “I’ve been planning on this for a while, I just didn’t know when,” he whispered that last part.

You beamed at him, thinking it was so genuine that he wanted you to be his first. He placed the condom beside the two of you. You rested your hands on either of his cheeks, the tips of your fingers curling around his silky locks.

“I’m uh, not really sure what to say,” you sighed, “I know this is new to you and everything, so if it gets too… um, intense, in a way, don’t be afraid to tell me to stop. In fact, don’t be afraid of anything with me because I have my complete faith and trust in you and-”

“Hey, hey,” he cut short your rambling, “You talk way too fucking much. I’m more than ready to do this with you.”

“Right, so,” you shifted your hands to trace his jawline, “can I kiss you?”

“Hell yeah,” Connor closed the gap between the two of you instantly.

Your lips danced in a slow waltz as your noses bumped with every relaxed movement. You could already clearly tell how eager he was for you, but didn’t want to rush into things. A question formed at the back of your mind, and began to wear out your entire thought process.

Connor moved from your lips to your cheeks, along your chin and jaw, and down your throat. You bit your lip to silence a moan and laid your palms flat against his bare chest. The mixture of the warm room and your hot bodies made an easy beginning for sweat. He littered your profile with love bruises and saliva.

“Connor,” you inquired. He mumbled incoherent sounds against the vibration of your vocals, “you,

um, you weren’t mad when I told you I’ve done… this before. Wh-Why is that?”

As he pulled back, you enjoyed the feeling of the rough skin on his thumb caressing your cheekbone. You decided to return the favor as he answered you, leaning in to attach your lips onto his pale neck. He suppressed a low growl.

“There’s no way you could’ve,” he hissed as you reached a sensitive spot, “n-no way you cou-could’ve known that you and I…” he lost his trail of thought as pleasure overcame him.

“You and I?” you questioned in an alluring manner, smiling against his collarbone.

He had to pull back to think straight. You could’ve started giggling at how effortless it was to distract him. You rested your head over his heart as he took a moment to ease his hasty panting. You rubbed his bicep in a way to reassure him to take as much time as he needed to. It didn’t take too long for him to speak up again.

“Your question, uh, back then, there’s really no way you could’ve known that you and I would be together, ya know?”

“I know,” you began to pepper kisses down his chest, “thank you so much for understanding,” you traced the line of hair that lined down to his boxers, “I love you so much, Connor.”

His hands toyed with the hem of your (or rather, his) shirt. You fixed your gaze on him at the sudden contact. He lifted it up ever so slightly.

“Is this okay?” he worried.

“It’s okay.”

He pulled his shirt off of you, discarding it over the side of the bed. Your now bare and newly exposed skin began to spasm with shivers. He was captivated by the sight of you. He blushed as his mouth hung agape in awe.

Every mole, discoloration, bodily hair, dip, and crease made you seem like an absolute masterpiece to him. Sure, he had seen you completely bare before, but now that he knew what was eventually going to happen, he felt so appreciated to know that you had so much assurance that you were willing to intertwine yourselves with no barriers.

Cautiously, Connor lifted his hands, looking to you for a sign that it was okay to proceed. You gave him a curt nod and he placed his hands over your breasts. He began to knead them as if he knew exactly what to do to drive you mad. Holding your mouth shut, you hummed a whimper of satisfaction.

“I know I gave you total shit for not shutting up about this but,” Connor referred to the red hair dye stain incident, “I honestly was so fucking scared.”

Something about the tone he spoke it made something sting in your heart. Either that or he just really knew how to work his way around your chest.

“I really don’t know what the hell I’d do with myself if I actually lost you,” he spilled, grazing his fingers over your sensitive nipples, as groan got caught in your throat, “You make me feel safe and cared for, respected and loved in a way I never knew existed.”

He applied more pressure, pushing you down to lay flat against the bed. Your hands found their way comfortably into his hair, tugging lightly as he hovered over you. He pressed lazy kisses all over your middle.

“You don’t put my flaws in front of me,” he murmured against your stomach, the movement of his lips tickling your tender skin, “fuck, you don’t treat me like an outcast. The way you talk and touch me, makes me feel normal; makes me feel wanted.”

You almost swore you could hear his voice crack and falter. Sweat grew heavier on your body when he started sucking and biting down on any bit of flesh he could reach.

“Connor,” was all you could utter before your mind scrambled and you grew light-headed. All you could do was look up and breathe. Your heart was beating like a drum against your chest, it felt like it could just pop out at any given moment.

With the few nerves you gained control over, you weakly hoisted yourself up, Connor removing himself from you. His face played an expression of fear he might’ve made you too uncomfortable.

You slipped your thumbs under the waistband of his boxers, which he whispered for you to take off. Sliding off the last article of clothing keeping him from being completely exposed to you, his length sprung up.

“I’m so ready for you,” you flushed a deep red. You guided his hands to the pants you were wearing begging him with your trembling arms to discard what left you had on you.

“You make me feel so fucking happy,” Connor took no time to rid you of his pants and your undergarments.

Admiring your lower region, he mumbled, “Holy fucking shit.”

You drew him in for one more hot, fervent kiss. As much as he loved the feeling of your tender lips on his slightly chapped own, he was incredibly impatient. When you finally pulled off of him, you took the condom that had been lying beside the two of you and removed it from its wrapper.

You pinched the tip and rolled it onto his eager self, noticing his squirming under your touch. Situating yourself over his lap, you rested your forehead against his before requesting one last confirmation.

“Are you,” you rifled through your vocabulary for the right words to say, “Are you okay?”

You didn’t expect him to shake his head ‘no’.

“Fuck,” he snarled, “I want to make you feel as loved as you make me.”

“Trust me,” you ran your fingers over his cheek, “you do.”

And with that, you sank yourself down onto him, the both of you letting loose a cacophony of groans and grunts. Connor lifted his hips to meet yours, his whole body giving in to vigorous tremors as your walls clenched tightly around him. Tears stung your eyes as you rotated your hips onto him comfortably. Your spine tensed up in trembles as you raised yourself gently.

You stimulated movement, leaning against and off of him, as he thrusted in synch with you. Something clawed at your throat, begging you to scream, but instead you let out a meek cry. A tear fell from the corner of your eye.

Connor gingerly pressed his lips to yours, as you let out your moans as silently as you could. Grabbing him by the face as he you around your torso, you felt tears flooding your hands. You parted for a split-second to take a look at him. Hot tears were trailing down his face, and you leaned back in quickly, pulling him affectionately into another kiss.

The both of you tried miserably to choke back any noise but couldn’t help but be sympathetic to one another as your bodies moved at a gradually increasing rate. Sweat beaded over you like rain. the knot in your core grew tighter and tighter until it became too much to bear.

Slurs of ‘I love you’s, and mumbles of each other’s names transferred back and forth between you two until the chain was broken by a strangled moan and a staggered gasp.

Connor was first to release himself, but not a few moments later, you began to lose yourself over him. You rode out your highs, bouncing slower against each other with every passing minute. You felt like collapsing.

You and Connor were both exhausted. Your bodies were wrapped intricately like a complicated knot: leg around leg, hand in hair, and arm over shoulder. You felt a powerful burning inside you as you tamed your breath.

“Damn,” you exhaled, “are you sure you haven’t done this before? You seriously seem to know what you’re doing.”

He let out a raspy chuckle, his voice low and husky.

“I guess I know you all too well,” he kissed your forehead.

You hummed, “Well, I’m glad you do.”

Shifting yourself close to him, you didn’t care if you were burning your ass off, or if you were sweating like swine. It felt right to be as close to him as possible.

“By the way, red is such a beautiful color on you”

#connor murphy x reader #connor murphy imagine #dear evan hansen x reader #dear evan hansen imagine #deh #dear evan hansen #connor murphy #deh imagine #deh fic #evan hansen #alana beck #jared kleinman #zoe murphy #deh x reader #indigo imagines #by summer

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