#and if i do get it im gonna opt into a coma

[guinevereslancelot]

i am so stressed and relieved at the same time

[aldakat31415]

Guess what gets a part two because im in the clutches of depression and one comment made my day????

Ranpo x reader part two (one second while i go and reread part one, not sure how i forgot something i wrote..)

It had been two days since I had written my leaving note. And though i had thought about it many times it still sat upon my desk untouched. The president hadn't seen a glimpse of it.

Even so everyone was acting weird around me, like they knew something. I hadn't even brought the slip into work, but knowing Ranpo he probably figured it out a while ago. Maybe before i started this job..

"Could you file these pages for me please?!?!?!?!"

A very hyper toned question from a man who just devoured an entire bag of sour gummy worms. He was either five or fourty at any given time. No in between, it didn't matter his actual age.

"Yeah sure, just give me a moment to finish this email to a client." I replied.

"Which one is it?"

"One of yours."

"And..."

"Police department, they called you in again."

"..."

"Don't worry, it's not for today. You be as lazy as you want. One of their reports came in on this guy named Kira??"

"Hmm.. wonder what that's about, too bad about copyrights or there wouldn't have been a show."

"What?"

"Nothing, just talking about my power. Anyway, would you mind going out to lunch with me again today?"

"Sure.. you haven't asked in weeks, just dragged me out the door. What's going on??"

"Nothing." And an evil smile.

I sighed and shook my head as he walked away to annoy someone else. Between him and Dazai I would have an anorism by the end of the week.

After work I had found my way to the small cafe at the bottom of the building. Ranpo was already comfortably positioned in our usual spot, his face buried in a pretzels bag.

"You should be dead by how much you eat. Or at least in a coma."

"I think it's part of my powers."

I sat down in front of him and ignored his last comment, opting to not have an argument with him over this again.

"So.."

"Yes??" I asked, he was doing that weird thing where he narrowed his eyes suspicously.

"I hear you're leaving the ADA."

"And of course you found out before i told anyone... What of it?"

".."

"Spit it out."

"I don't want you to leave.."

I took him three seconds to drop the detective look and go to puppy dog eyes. A record even for him.

"...I wouldn't if I had a choice, besides were adults. It's not like you can't text me."

"It won't be the same."

I knew he was right, I had thought about this so many times myself. If I quit the ADA my attention would be drawn elsewhere, and us spending every moment at the workplace together wouldn't be a thing anymore.

"Even so Ranpo, I'm.. not gifted like you guys are. I don't have special training.. I'm just a secretary.."

"The best secretary in the world.."

"Quit it, before too long you'll have the entire agency on your side.."

"It's working though.. you don't want to leave."

"I never said I did want to."

"..., then please stay?"

"Ranpo.."

He looked at me with watering eyes, I could never refuse him when he did this. As childish as he looked.

"Ranpo this is ridiculous.."

"..."

I wouldn't relent.

He looked away defeated. He knew I wasn't gonna give in so easily. The pouting had turned to sorrow as pulled his hat back onto his head, framing his messy hair.

"Stubborn.. guess that's why I fell in love with you"

And before I could say anything he left the cafe. And I stood there, unable to move with catatonic breath.

Thanks my readers and have a great night, I might make a part three.

[ilovejuuzou]

Food-related HCs for Durarara cast?

im sorry if this isnt what you're asking for, im not entirely sure what this means so im just doing some general headcanons abt the cast and their eating habits + the like

when the van gang isnt at russia sussia, i like to think that saburo sometimes begrudgingly invites them into his apartment for dinner

they're all tired of eating his spaghetti but he doesnt know how to make anything else and no one else is gonna make any offers

but if that doesnt happen then erika and walker probably dip to go to some cafe to drink tea + eat sandwiches

that's when kyohei and saburo get fast food that they absolutely do not eat in the van (yes they do)

shizuo isnt like the rest of us in our early twenties and by that i mean he doesnt have to rely on his anger and nicotine addiction to satisy his hunger.

"what else could possibly sustain shizuo heiwajima?" you ask?

tom tanaka.

tom is the ULTIMATE dad friend and he doesn't even try.

90% of the time they're eating out and there's no WAY tom will settle for fast food bc it upsets his stomach, so he'll pick somewhere nicer (probably some casual dining) and then pick up the bill because "i picked where we would eat, i can't make you pay."

but sometimes tom gets this,,,, uncontrollable urge to,,,,, pack a lunch,,,,, and then another lunch,,,,, and then suddenly him and shizuo are eating a balogna sandwiches with carrots, a fruit cup, and not one but TWO string cheeses.

so needless to say, shizuo is eating much better than the rest of his peers.

like shinra, for example, lives off of TV dinners and celty just fucking lets him.

and don't even get me started on izaya

dear lord

cereal, cereal, some fancy food place bc he happened to be out, cereal, cereal, more cereal, cereal again, cereal, fatty tuna DROWNING in soy sauce, cereal, a fistful of candy, cereal

he's malnourished for sure but with all that milk his bones are shizuo proof (until theyre not)

mikado and anri are both very particular when it comes to their diet and they both have secret meal plans for the week to make sure they get the recommended amount of vitamins and calories they need to grow up big and strong

anri definitely stays on the more veggie friendly route and would opt out of carbohydrates for more greens. it's more expensive, sure, but its easy on her figure™

but mikado is a bread fiend and inhales two two loaves of bread a week, if not more. it's both filling and cheap, so its a win win for him.

but it's never once occured to masaomi that he can budget his income so that he doesnt starve for at least a day or two before payday (hes secretly been trying to figure out how mikado goes home to cook dinner EVERY night).

by the time his check comes in, hes been dying for something more than school lunches for DAYS so right off the bat he'll drop all sorts of cash on so much russia sushi his stomach will hurt, and a lot of the time hell pay for anri and mikado too. after that its all impulse buys and conviently ignoring the value menu and then BAM hes broke again.

hes not he only financially unstable, womanizing maniac we know with this problem, because rocchi is there too

but unlike poor masaomi, rocchi has loving and supportive girlfriends that happily offer homecooked meals without ever even considering the possibility that their rocchi is broke-hi

and while we're on the topic of overly devoted girlfriends, lets talk about THE overly devoted girlfriend: mika harima.

mika, who eats like a queen, and seiji, who eats like a king, and also namie, who eats like a coma patient.

theyre all very fortunate in the financial department and even though namie is the most fortunate of all, she doesnt eat for pleasure but rather just to make her stomach shut the hell up so izaya will stop pointing it out.

its not that she doesnt want to eat its just that she genuinely, from the bottom of her heart, does not give a single fuck about her own well-being and so food rarely crosses her mind

im gonna stop it there bc i realized i cant do the "read more" thing on mobile, but i hope you like it! and if you dont then oops i had fun anyways and i still love you xoxo

[bourbonboredom]

Silver Lining Chapter 13

If you’re ever gonna find a silver lining, it’s gotta be a cloudy day

A ClydexReader fanfic

Word Count: 2,848

Warnings: talk of domestic abuse

Silver Lining Masterlist

Tag List: @oh-adam  @kyloren-supreme-ben   @xis23@elsablackswift   @ladygrey03 @grey-reylo-solo  @givemelifeorgiveme  @attorneyl @ayatimascd @redhairedfeistynerd @kyloxfem

There seemed to be no end in sight for the Unlucky Logans. The agent would show up week after week, starting a tab that she never closed out at the end of the night. 

“I’ll be back, no need to close it,” She’d wink at Clyde. 

The tab only grew faster as she offered drinks to her favorite one-armed bartender. He'd accept some days, when he was feeling strong enough to entertain her, but would reject it most of the time.

Grey rocking quickly became the objective. Any prompt she offered, any bait she put down, Clyde played dumb. He acted as thought he knew nothing of what she was saying, keeping any answers neutral, offering her nothing in return.

He'd let his girl take over some days, when he didn't have the energy to fend off the agent. He felt bad afterward, it felt like he was putting her up for trial, but she always assured him she could hold her own. 

‘Think of it as tag-teaming,’ She told him one night. ‘When you need a break, I’m right here to tap in,”

Nights became restless, alternating between falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, and staying up until dawn worrying about the situation. They re-hid the money together, stashing it in the most discreet places they could find around her trailer. He felt guilty about that too. It was her house if it all went down. As the weeks turned into months, the "investigation" began to wear on the couple more and more.

"Why couldn't she be hangin' around the salon? Or botherin' Jimmy at his job? Why’s it gotta be my bar?" He'd grit out, hand clenching the arm of the sofa. He was sick of being the target, of this falling primarily on him.

"Because she thinks she's got you. But she doesn't. You’re gonna get though this. We're gonna get through this," She responded calmly, peppering his face with kisses.

“I sure hope so,” His face was drawn into a tight frown despite her kisses.

He wanted to pull her into his arms and know that everything was going to be alright, but that was getting harder and harder to imagine. He’d open the bar every night, hoping that the agent wouldn’t walk in. That she’d get bored of this game and he could be free again. Be free with her again. But the door would open and the agent would sit in her usual seat, smiling up at him like a shark.

It was an especially cold night outside. The frost had crept up the front window, making the light from the Coors sign appear hazy from the outside. Clyde kept the bar as warm as he could for his patrons, but it was still a little chilly. The heater wasn’t what it used to be and with the heist money stashed away, he had no way of paying to fix it. His usual patrons didn’t mind much, they’d warm up with beer and whiskey anyways. His girl would joke that it was Duck Tape’s attempt at icing the agent out.

‘The bar knows. It’s hoping she’ll get cold and go home,’ She laughed as she threw on a sweater the day after the plumber gave them the diagnosis. 

She was wearing one of his favorites today, a baby blue sweater that fit her just right. The agent was having trouble finding clothes that shielded her from the climate. She’d always opt for low-cut shirts, no matter the heater’s condition. 

Today was no exception for the agent. She shimmied out of her coat to reveal a black sleeveless top that was cut to show off her cleavage. He’d avoided looking at it for most of the night as he made polite conversation with the woman who was trying to ruin his life. Their chat slowly turned for the worse as they spoke.

“So I heard some gossip today,” She started slowly. She’d been shooting the breeze with him at the bar for about an hour, just small talk. He now realized she was probably trying to get him to loosen up for whatever she was about to say.

“Yeah, what about?” Clyde asked, cautious about what she might say.

“I heard a guy stopped over at the diner before leaving town a few weeks back. One of the waitresses said he walked in with a huge wad of cash in his hand, looking like he'd seen a ghost,”

The woman was watching him closely for a reaction. He could see his girlfriend stop stacking glasses at the counter out of the corner of his eye.

"He told her he was trying to visit his fiancée, and a guy with a metal arm paid him off to never come back," 

He did his best to look interested and not completely terrified.

"The waitress didn't see how much he had, but it sounded like way more than pocket change,"

"That's quite the story, this town loves to gossip,” He said as best he could. His heart was pounding in his ears, making it hard to hear himself speak. His mouth was becoming dryer by the minute.

"They sure do, and there aren't too many men with metal arms around here," She nodded toward his left hand.

"That's true," He said, choosing his words carefully. His dinner threatened to make a second appearance due to his stomach doing flips.

"But owning a bar in this county isn't quite that lucrative I'd imagine,"

"That's quite the assumption, what are you getting at?" His girl’s voice came from beside him before he could say another word. 

She was tapping in. She  stared the woman down, holding Clyde’s hand behind the bar where she couldn’t see.

"I'm just asking—" The agent tried to start.

"I don't think you're asking anything ma'am, it sounds like you're implying something," His girl’s voice was even and calm as she spoke. 

"I'm just asking why someone in this town would pay off someone's fiancée to go away, seems shady to me,” The agent’s eyebrows furrowed, her voice dropping to a dangerous tone.

"I'm the fiancée ma’am, that man was my ex. I broke up with him and he came back around when I didn't want him to,” She began, her tone matching the agent’s.

 “Clyde over here was helping me to make sure he didn't hurt me. He didn't pay him to go away, it wasn't even his money. It was mine from selling my wedding ring in order to pay for the medical bills my ex thought I owed him. Not that it’s any of your business,”

“I—” The agent’s face faltered. Any attempt to say something was cut off by her voice growing louder as she continued with her story. Heads were starting to turn around the bar to try to get in on the gossip.

"He thought I owed him medical bills because he beat me severely enough that it landed me in the ICU. I ran away from him and gave up everything I knew to wind up in this town, where he stalked me to and tried to force me back with him. This saint of a man protected me, if it weren’t for him I might be dead,” Her voice broke with that last sentence, making Clyde’s chest ache. His hand squeezed hers behind the bar. “I gave my ex the money he thought I owed him and made it crystal clear I was never going back to his abusive ass,"

"I didn't realize—" The agent stuttered, that was clearly not the answer she was looking for.

"I don't know what you were implying, but Clyde’s been nothing but kind to me since I got here and I'd appreciate you not spreading the gossip that my jealous ex started about him,"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean any harm,"

"I'm sure you didn't," She said is a controlled tone. With her teeth gritted and her eyes threatening to spill tears, she squeezed Clyde’s hand and left the bar, walking to the back room. As soon as she was out of sight, Clyde turned back to the slightly-stunned woman in front of him.

"She's sensitive about the subject. I didn't want to bring anything up about it when you mentioned it," He deadpanned.

The agent was having a hard time making eye contact. She thought she finally had something, and it fell apart almost immediately.

"I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to insinuate anything. I wasn’t trying to—“

"Gossip gets the best of all of us from time to time," Clyde said in a clipped tone. "If you don't mind, I think I'm gonna close up for the night. I think we’ve all had a long day,”

"Yes, I understand," She avoided his gaze as she paid her tab and left the bar. He watched as she turned on her car and drove out of the parking lot and into the inky black night.

He let the remaining patrons know he was closing up for the night, and they trickled out, paying their tabs and saying their goodbyes. A few stopped to ask if she was okay, if what she’d said was true. Clyde worried his bottom lip between his teeth, unsure of whether or not he should say anything. He settled on telling them it wasn’t for him to say. He was finishing stacking the glasses when she came back out.

"She's gone," He told her as she walked behind the bar. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah," She whispered.

Her voice was a little hoarse as she threw her arms around his body and pulled him into a hug. She buried her face into his chest, letting out a sniffle. Her fingers tangled in the fabric of his shirt, trying to hold him as close as possible.

"I'm sorry that happened darlin’,” He murmured, wrapping his arms around her. “I didn’t expect her to ever bring that up,”

"It's okay, I can't stop people from gossiping," She looked up at him, resting her chin on his chest. Her eyes looked a little pink, Clyde couldn't bear the thought of her crying over this.

"If it helps, I think you might've squashed her one lead. She left in quite the hurry after you straightened her out,"

"I figured telling her the money was mine might shut her up, people tend to clam up when you mention comas and runaway brides,” She tried to joke. 

Clyde gave a small smile in acknowledgement.

“You saved my back there, I didn’t know what I was gonna say. I—I was scared honestly,” 

“You did what you could, you were great sweetheart. I just couldn’t listen to her try to make you seem like a bad person anymore. Especially not for that whole incident. I meant it when I said I might be dead without you,” Her voice began to quiver again. He held her closer.

“I love you. I’d fight him off a million more times if it kept you safe. You mean everything to me,” He whispered. He knew he’d never be able to fully convey how much she meant to him, but he could try.

“I love you too. And I gotta be honest,” She looked back up at him, her tired eyes looking happier already. “You don’t look too good in that prison uniform. So you gotta stay out of prison okay? For me?”

“Anything for you,” He chuckled, leaning down to kiss her.

—————

It was about a few weeks later when Clyde had ventured out into the cold January night to pick up a few odds and ends from the store. He insisted his girl stay all warm and cuddled up inside their trailer while he went out to the Grocery Castle on their side of town. She helped him lace up his boots and gave him a kiss on the nose before he slipped on his warmest coat and headed out. 

He couldn’t wait for winter to be over. It felt even longer this year with that agent poking around. It was a good time of year for the bar, with people needing a place to warm up and socialize, but Clyde found himself yearning for spring as the windshield wipers on his car crackled to life after being frozen in place. The light dusting of snow had settled on the road, making it a little harder to find his way down the dimly lit road in the dark. 

The Grocery Castle’s sign glowed against the white powder and the cloudy sky. There weren’t many people out, the only other cars in the lot presumably belonged to the employees waiting to get off their shift. The automatic doors of the store whooshed open and Clyde walked a little heavier, trying to get the snow out from his boots before trekking on. 

The muzak of the store was soft in the background, the buzz of the fluorescent lighting almost as loud. He ignored both as he moved through the aisles, picking up the contents of the wrinkled list he held in his pocket. 

Bread

Milk

Bacon

Sausage (for the biscuits and gravy she wanted to make for dinner tomorrow)

Peanut Butter

He moved with a practiced efficiency, everything was in its usual place around the store. It was only when he got to the checkout line did he notice anything different. 

There was an unusual amount of pink and red decorations around the front of the store. He missed it when he came in but now that he was standing still, he saw it everywhere. The bin full of little stuffed animals holding boxes of chocolate, the cupid cutout that hung by the vent on the ceiling that twirled as warm air pumped out, the seasonal candy display set up over by the bottle return. 

He scoffed at first, he couldn’t believe they’d set this stuff up so early. It was only mid-January, there was no need to break out the hearts so far in advance. Who buys Valentines gifts from the Grocery Castle anyway?

It wasn’t until he saw the tabloid magazines by the checkout counter did things start to connect in his mind. A headline about some famous couple having a tumultuous breakup, complete with a closeup photo of a bruise on one of their arms followed by some sensationalized speculation. 

Valentines Day was coming up.

The holiday that brought her to Boone County, to him. She’d walked into his bar exhausted, covering her bruises with a hoodie and a pound of makeup, drinking his vodka with the last of her cash to help heal where her tooth had been knocked out. His fist balled up around the cart’s handle at the thought. 

Her physical wounds had healed. She knew she was safe with him, they had a home together, they owned a business together. A lot had changed for both of them in a year. But he wondered where her mind would be on February 14th. She hadn’t mentioned it to him yet. Granted, they’d both been overwhelmed with an FBI agent until recent. Things were just starting to get back to normal, they could finally begin to unwind.

But was she going to be able to unwind with this day coming up? Was it something he should bring up? He felt a bubble of uncertainty rise in his chest as he dropped his items on the conveyer belt for the clerk to scan. He was a gangly high school kid, probably saving up for college. He didn’t pay too much attention to Clyde as he paid and collected his bags with his metal arm. 

He walked back outside, the cold air hitting his face as soon as the automatic doors opened. It filled his lungs and made them ache just a little. He dropped his bags in the trunk and circled to the driver’s side. He sat in his car with the engine on for a moment, realizing he still hadn’t made a decision about what to do. 

He didn’t want to bring up anything that might upset her. Maybe she hadn’t thought of it at all and he was just over thinking it. Maybe she had been thinking of this day for months and just never said anything. She’d have to be reminded at some point, just going about her day. Even the damn grocery store had decorations up. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, keeping it from hanging in his face. He didn’t know what to do, to be honest. She meant the world to him, and he never wanted her to feel alone and scared again. 

As he shifted gears and stepped on the gas to travel back down the snowy road, he tentatively made his decision. This was her past and it would be her decision of what to do. He didn’t want to bring up any painful memories by accidentally saying the wrong thing. He would wait for her to say what she needed. 

And he would be right by her side the whole way. Just as she’d done for him.

------------

NOTES

Oh hey this is super overdue! I’m trying to wrap this up for y’all, its about damn time! Thanks for being so patient with me, I know its not much. I don’t know if her story would be enough to throw off an FBI agent in real life, but I do know people really don’t like hearing about traumatizing events. I’d think this would be the agent’s last ditch effort, she finally thought she had something she could use, and Clyde’s girlfriend just isn’t having it. 

There should be just one more chapter left, I hope to get it out soon!