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#but what if its too hard or im bad at it 😭
guinevereslancelot · 11 months
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i am so stressed and relieved at the same time
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skunkes · 1 month
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Before: i cant tell if the way I've stylized this body is Right or not...i dont want people to think that I'm stupid and don't know what im doing so i guess i better learn anatomy
After: i have learned and am learning anatomy, but i dont want people to think that im stupid and don't know what I'm doing if i exaggerate it so I better keep the stiff, rigid, "correct" anatomy instead of stylizing it to fit 👍
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bunnihearted · 6 months
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📖🖊❄️
#journal dump bc i have too much on my mind#1) i HATE my neighbors. theres never one quiet moment. they stomp around and slam cabinets all the time it feels like#2) ​i've been reading more recently even if concentration's hard bc of noise. but i also feel like there r too many books i wanna read#but yeah. too little time. so instead i cant settle on a book and kinda dont even read as much as i want to. a stupid problem really#3) it's crazy to say but i wish i had a part time job. sitting at home 24/7 for 5/6 years has been SO terrible for me.#everything feels meaningless. every day is the exact same. im not LIVING. im rotting away and all my issues get worse. im also so fkn bored#and i dont wanna sit at home and do assignments (even if thats what i technically should be doing)#i want a job to go to which takes me away from home + gives me money#then i can come home and sit and rot and ENJOY it. bc now my lazy time is only smth negative and bad for me :/#ofc i hate the mere thought of having some soul sucking utterly pointless job and our capitalist society is a slave hellhole. but.. as it is#im not even able to enjoy ANY of my time bc all my time feels bad. plus im only getting poorer and poorer so i cant afford to buy anything#4) im so fkn bored and going crazy from eating the exact same food every single day for the third month now. im sick of it#everything tastes so bland and disgusting. it's genuinely making me depressed 😭 i wanna eat REAL food. im so tired bc no nutrition :((#i cant do anything except wait for my appt w the doctor next week and hope they put me on a waiting list for surgery.. but ong im sick of it#5) i miss my sisters :/ we live in the same apartment but its like i've completely ceased to exist to them#except when they need to be passive aggressive to me. lol. i miss them. but they just dont wanna talk to me :/#but tbh. most of all... i just want my health issue to be over so my body can function normally again.#i can face anything in life if i can come home to a cup of coffee nd some chocolate ^-^ <333
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toytulini · 24 days
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boston rush hour traffic really has u experiencing such a range of human manners. i was looking judgementally at the lack of distance between the bumpers of 2 cars, the driver doing the tailgating noticed me looking, and gestured to me asking if i needed/wanted to get over, implying he'd let me over if i did, but i said no, and he gave me a thumbs up. and continued the tailgating
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elegyofthemoon · 3 months
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my need to powerwash my brain by spending my time exploring the dreamscape vs the dreamscape trapping me in stealth games
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girlwithfish · 8 months
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idk why my boss is giving me attitudetoo maybe cuz some parent prob complained abt me cuz i was talkjng to my coworker for a min during pick up bc we were trying to coordinate how we were going to close two classrooms with 30minutes left of the day and we didnt break up this ladys kid and some other kid who were having some petty ass two yr old fight on the playground
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wollfling · 1 year
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4 am and I can't sleep bc my joints are in so much pain 😒
#im so tired too o<-<#miss the days i could draw in bed easily at night. i share my bed now.. but would be worth trying djdndjdb#my puppy sleeps in the bed now too i really like it!#except in the morning if shes up she will dig us out of the blankets.. its cute but ridiculous dhdndh#also omg... this evening i forgot to give her dinner (so much going on w me 😞) and didnt realize until a few hours late#but like. it made me also realize that she doesnt really ask for food. i dont think she knows she can ask...?#i was like omg are you hungy ? and she was like omg yay ☺️#idk why this is a thing w me rn. like she doesnt know she can ask for dinner. babey..... ;_; ...#anyways i think i just came here to complain as usual#nothing new with me other than new art. reading more. think thats abt it..#my partner and i have been reading together before bed. he reads out loud to me#i like it a lot. were really into horror right now and looking for more !#he does voices and the whole bit and i love getting to freak out together mid chapter and stuff.#its different than while watching a tv show or movie idk.#and currently on my own im reading ag/e//ls bef/ore man. maybe 80 pages in or smthn its nice so far#what ive been REALLY wanting to read is medieval horror. surprisingly hard to find.#i asked someone who works at the bookstore and she was so like. baffled by it o<-< she was trying so hard but couldnt think of or#find anything but genuinely trying so hard i felt bad... and i tried to say it was okay but she was dedicated atp 😭#and then at the checkout she came by again like. medieval horror..... thats a tough one. and i just profusely apologized again djsbsusbshsn#so if anyone had some medieval horror they enjoy 🧍‍♂️ id love a recommendation
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stinkrascal · 2 years
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i hate my upstairs neighbors actually. why do they feel the need to host a wwe wrestling match directly above my bedroom every day at 2pm
#i know its my fault i went to bed at 5am and im now miserably trying to catch up on my sleep#but literally Why do they feel the need to jump around so much???? bro pick a spot and sit what the fuck stop STOMPING#im so tired and im the lightest sleeper ever so every movement they make i hear it and immediately wake up >:(#when our lease is up in march we’re gonna move into a townhouse/maybe a trailer so it’s quieter#and i’m so excited about that. i hate having upstairs neighbors#in other news! we put in our application for a cat at a local shelter yesterday 🥺#his name is little turkey! (that’s not the name we’re giving him since we already have one picked out but the shelter named him that lol)#he’s a little grey cat and he looks so silly and loving 🥺🥺 i really hope they accept our application#i want a cat sooooooo bad#when we finally have our little furry friend i will cry so hard you guys 😭 this is all i’ve wanted for so long#a few days ago i was crying to my boyfriend about how i have no friends lol and then i was like#but if we got a cat at least they could be my friend 😭😭#i think i accidentally hastened the process of finding and adopting a cat bc i cried about it. which yk no complaints here#i need a friend :( especially a little fuzzy friend :((((#everyone say ty to mister stinkrascal for feeling bad for me and gifting me a cat lol#(he’s wanted one for a really long time too so it’s all good! we both love cats)#(i just think it’s funny that we’d kinda been sitting on it for a few weeks but then i cried and he immediately sent applications lol)
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faerociousbeast · 2 years
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beimg the only brown person in your friend group is. well. Something
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cinnabeat · 2 years
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i love reading media all at once and going yeah that makes sense and then seeing people talk about it extensively and realizing i didnt retain shit
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alchemiclee · 2 months
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as a fellow introvert; we are social creatures. introverts who purposefully see no one for months on end are usually just in a cycle where its been so long since they’ve hung out that it’s too intimidating for them to do anymore. i 100% feel tired after hanging out with my friends but i DO also feel happy and refreshed! tl;dr - you’re super normal lol. try to reach out to a couple people just to chat this week <3
thanks for reaching out I really appreciate it❤️ but I have to rant a bit. I allow you to ignore it!
I wish to not be a social creature because going too long without having a friend to talk to or not having someone to talk with almost daily feels bad and it's so hard to have a friend when I need one D:
i've been reaching out to people for the last few weeks or so but they don't reach back. try playing games with people but they play with their other friends or dont feel like playing. invite people to hang out but they say maybe and never give an answer or don't respond.
I don't want to bother my closest friends in our group chat too much in our group chat but the chat is mostly me sending messages with no response and even couple times saying I need a friend when I was having bad days but they didn't want to chat and I dont want to force anyone to entertain my lonely depressed ass. (especially when all I really needed was to talk about the new star rail stuff to distract me but I don't think they've finished it yet so I don't want to spoil) they live together so they always have to socialize and probably make each other tired without needing to add me to it.
so i've also been trying to reach out to new people, like joining twitch chats again for the first time in years. but that never goes well and doesn't satisfy my social needs. too many people talking at once and being the new person no one cares about and all....getting to know a new is very exhausting. but it's so hard to just be able to skip all that getting to know each other stuff jump straight into talking about a thing we both like (in this case it's star rail and cosplay and maybe art) I don't have enough already-known people to reach out to and i'm too tired to do the small talk dance until it's appropriate to jump into special interest territory. being autistic is so exhausting. I with to be one of those rare autistics I sometimes hear about that have 0 interest in social interaction at all
so as you can see, i'm trying. so hard. to the point I'm exhausting myself. it's been too much work for no payoff and makes things feel worse when the outcome isn't what I need and its constant reaching with no one grabbing my hand back. so I keep making annoying tumblr posts about it. i'm so sorry to anyone that reads my nonsense 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this is a normal thing with me but it's usually kept to my other blog that's reserved for more serious posts like this but I tried posting here as a way to "reach out" and see if it invites any friendly friends or something but I don't think i'm doing it right...
(but I am going to a con tomorrow with someone I haven't talked to in like 2 years. but we don't have anything in common anymore so theres not much to talk about. he's the only person who responded to me after trying to reach out for like a month but I fear it will only exhaust me being around too many people and not help this gross need to have a deeper connecting socialization D:)
#i dont know how to ask for attention without asking for attention because attention seeking is bad and annoying#the more needy and annoying you come off the more people will ignore you. saying i need someone to talk to or hang out with gets me ignored#but being vague gets me also ignored???? like just trying to start a convo by throwing things out randomly doesnt work either#so if i cant be direct or indirect or invite people or ask to be invited or anything else ive tried ehst do i do?#how do i satisfy this stupid social need im cursed with? it takes me a month or 3 to recover from socializing so its not like i always ask#but its still too much. and “you need to find the right people” isnt helpful. because how!!! ive been looking for that for 30 years lmao#i just need someone to invite me and always invite me every time and always reach out first every time (well not every time. just dont make#me be the one every time because thats how it usually seems to go)#but no one wants to do the work and tell me when its ok to bother them. if i bother someone too many times in a row and get no response#then i will stop and wait. and wait. and wait. and give up eventually. or after certain amount of rejections i give up.#so that i dont come off as needy and attention seeking and obnoxious. if people want me they can come to me. and when no one does#that just feels bad. i hate that it feels bad. i wish to make that stop. i wish to turn off feelings.#i cannot figure out the line between bothering someone too much or just enough. how much am i required to push people#and how much is too much where i snap the line while trying to reel them in? because ive snapped more times than ive caught#or the bait just gets completely ignored and i get bored of waiting#oops im slipping into metaphor territory now. that means its time to stop saying words.#hopefully no one reads my annoying tags. i just needed a free space to ramble and vent amd tags are lile little whispers to do that in#but also it is autism acceptance month. people should be adopting a local autistic(me) person to show them what having friends is like#lee rants#im being super particular about how i need to socialize right now as well. dont want trauma bonding/life talks/depression sharing type stuff#only want special interest light hearted goofy fun talks. but those are so hard to do. its easy for people to default into doom conversation#but its hard to keep them on my topic of interest and to stay positive 😭
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autisticlee · 3 months
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always told "is better to have 1-2 good friends than 20 not so good friends" or things like that. but... kinda not better tbh. can't rely on 1-2 people to always be there when you need someone. is nice to have more options. gareuntee *someone* can be there at any time.
but reality is I can't have many friends and can't expect 2 friends I do have to pay attention to me when need someone. afraid to annoying them and make them leave like everyone else. so all I can do is suffer alone ._.
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chisungie · 5 months
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#lost how far i was into death is the only ending for the villainess manhwa#and im sure i read through like. waay further in novel form but obv its been long enough that the manga should be pretty caught up now#BUT OH MY GOD i picked a random chapter and iT WAS ECLISE(? girl whats the actual romanization for these names)#TELLING THE FEMALE LEAD TO LEAVE HIS COLLAR ON AND HE'L BEHAVE SO SHE WONT THROW HIM AWAY#GIRLLLLL 😭 i always felt so bad for him i think i liked all the male leads enough but he always. damn. he doesnt miss </3#44597#THE LATER CHAPTERS WHERE HE GETS CRAZIER(?) ARE WILD TOO BUT I FORGOT HOW CRAZY.. MF DO BE CRAZY THO 💀#also liked vinter.. forgot if he was any good in the end but hes v perceptive and a little manipulative but w good intentions#which sounds shitty but i swear it makes him interesting. forgot the other dudes tbh but i probably didnt like them 💀#loyal wolf guardian and clever bunny wizard.. my choices are funny im ngl#WAIT THERES THAT ONE GUY THAT LOVES PENELOPE THROUGH AND THROUGH.. THE ONE WHO SAVES HER FROM THE ISLAND RIGHT?#such a good guy i support that mf so hard ! but hes just not for me yk </3#the brothers suck tho 🤷‍♀️ iirc#ohh its kallisto. hes hot tho#actually him saying he dgaf abt the empire and would run it to the ground if penelope wanted it is pretty lit too. team kallisto tbh#OUgH CALLISTO IS SO FUCKING FUNNY IM NGL#WATCHING PENELOPES FOCUS ON JUSTRAISING LIKABILITY FOR SURVIVAL TURN INTO HER ACTUALLY FALLING FOR CALLISTO IS SO AAAAAAA#nvm seeing his favourability for her vs eclise's just broke my heart. i hate him sm#penelope slowly and unconsciously realizing shes formed a real connection w these ppl outside of treating this like a game im going to sob#buT STILL NOT KNOWING HOW TO MAKR THAT 99% INTO A 100%.. PLEASR THAT MAN CAN READ YOU LIKE A BOOK HE KNOWS YOURE LYINGGG 😭#ohhhhh then it all goes to shit and she doesnt trust anyone this is so pAINFUL STOP
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tessell · 1 year
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how do i limit my dairy, sugar, and carb intake like what else is even left.
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azulpitlane · 6 months
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boss' daughter I ln4
pairing: lando norris x brown!daughter reader summary: lando is down bad for zak brown's daughter but shes a little hard to get notes: I know this isn't pt 3 of my other mini series BUT i thought of this idea and had to do it immediately hehe, I really like this one masterlist
y/nbrown
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liked by landonorris, zbrownceo and 21,492 others
y/nbrown nyc living
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user i wanna see her at races shes so cute😭🫶
y/nbrown vegas! ill be there🤭 liked by landonorris
user help why's lando in his boss' daughter's likes
landonorris 🤩
user norizzzzz user is this him shooting his shot AHAHHA user NO LANDO SHES MINE
user IT GIRL
user landooo👀
y/bff/n pretty girl
y/nbrown love u babes
posted september 2023
y/nbrown
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liked by danielricciardo, landonorris and 19,384 others
y/nbrown college student by day, dj by night😝
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y/bff/n ur so unserious babe
y/nbrown i ate, the people loved me
landonorris as a retired dj maybe you can give me some inspiration to start again
user LANDO??? user he's crushing so hard OMFFFF user zak brown reading this: 🤨🤨
zbrownceo dont have too much fun!
y/nbrown 🫣 user such a dad reply lol
user y/n brown slaying once again
user so excited to see you back in the paddock soon🫶 liked by y/nbrown
danielricciardo you're perfect for him
y/nbrown who???
posted october 2023
y/nbrown
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liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 30,341 others
y/nbrown vegas babyyy
tagged zbrownceo, danielricciardo, y/bff/n
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user gorgeous girl
danielricciardo finally reunited with my favorite brown
y/nbrown was too busy girlbossing sorry danielricciardo what a shame, there's someone who's been waiting to meet you... y/nbrown hm, i didn't meet anyone new🤷‍♀️ danielricciardo next race then user is daniel hinting that lando didn't meet his crush sjsjkskks user wait he hasn't EVEN MET HER?!?! user im guessing not, shes been pictured with other drivers but never lando
user here for landos comments
landonorris maybe you should come to a race where I'm not crashing😅
user norizz strikes again user its the fact that she never even replies and he's still trying HAHA user hes fr out here risking his seat for her just not to respond back
mclaren 🧡
user shes finally back in the paddock!!!
user im surprised she doesn't go to more gp's, her dad's literally the ceo of mclaren😭 user i think she's mentioned shes very busy with uni so her schedule usually never aligns with the races
posted november 2023
y/nbrown abu dhabi, UAE
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liked by landonorris, zbrownceo and 25,482 others
y/nbrown escaping cold new york weather
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user OMG shes gonna be at the gp again this weekend!!
user landos got one more chance to shoot his shot before the season ends😭
landonorris hope to see you at the paddock!
danielricciardo thanks for letting me borrow that $10 mil bro I owe you🤝 maxverstappen1 thanks for saving my cats out of that burning building, you're a true hero🤝 alex_albon thanks for paying off my whole family's debt mate🤝 carlossainz55 thanks for gifting me that mclaren, i love it mate🤝
user ALL THE DRIVERS IN HER COMMENTS IMDEAD
user his rizz was so bad they had to step in omg. user and she still hasn't acknowledged lando AHAH user a true girlboss, I love her
user i need to know what zak brown thinks off all of this😭
user next season of dts gonna be craZy
user everybodys focused on the comments and not at the fact that these lyrics sound a little sus...
posted november 2023
landonorris posted a story
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dannyyyy🤠 y/n wyaaa im in the mclaren garage rn
y/n aren't you suppose to be in umm idk YOUR OWN GARAGE?
dannyyyy🤠 yeah but I need to do something real quick so come
y/n does this have anything to do with lando?
dannyyyy🤠 maybe...
y/n im sorry but he's exactly why im not in the garage rn
dannyyyy🤠 WHAT WHY pls dont tell me I hyped him up just for you not be interested...
y/n im not NOT interested but he's my dad's driver danny this can get messy so fast and what if he doesn't approve
dannyyyy🤠 oh you americans and your dramatics hes already talked to your dad dummy
y/n wait really?
dannyyyy🤠 you really think he would PUBLICLY hit on his boss' daughter without asking first?
y/n idk never really thought about it
dannyyyy🤠 JUST COME DOWN HERE YOU MUPPET
landonorris
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liked by y/nbrown, danielricciardo and 830,391 others
landonorris didn't win the race, but i won her heart
tagged y/nbrown
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user FINALLY
y/nbrown cheeseball liked by landonorris
user HE ACTUALLY GOT HER
danielricciardo youre welcome
y/nbrown you pushed me in front of him then ran away...not the best wingman danielricciardo its not like landos rizz was gonna get you together🤷‍♂️ y/nbrown true landonorris hey! I wasn't that bad... y/nbrown whatever helps you sleep at night hun!
user y/n blink twice if you need help
y/nbrown blink blink landonorris 😔
user obsessed with y/n bullying lando in the comments
user I know I love them already
zbrownceo better take good care of her lando
landonorris sir yes sir🫡
user we can no longer make norizz jokes. sigh.
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notes: what did y'all think of this one? I loved making it🤸‍♀️
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Note
Please! I need the part 2 of “Captain Price opens a package, thinking it’s intel, but it’s a sex pollen.“ I'm on my kneesss pleaseee it was so good! 😭♥️
Anyways, I'm your new follower 😍, and some of the stories you write is just so damn good😍 (Sorry for bad grammar's, English isn't really my first language, uwu)
im sorry but idk what a part two even looks like. i know a lot of people have asked for it but its... just some couch sex?? idk i'll try.
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Laswell clicked the door shut behind her, and part of you wished she had locked it. Gaz was sure to tell the rest of the team, but you could do without an audience. What would they even see if they barged in here?
The captain had let his cock loose from the confines of his pants, and they were sliding down his thick, muscular ass with every selfish thrust. He was rubbing himself like a naughty dog against your clothed pussy, begging for entrance with every forward movement. Your shirt was pulled down, revealing your breasts, and now they were covered in pink marks from the roughness of his beard as he moved his mouth across you.
Feeling him take each nipple and suck it so gently into his mouth, pulling it in like delicious nectar through a straw, drinking you although you were dry, tasting you even though you had no flavor. It was too much, but he couldn't stop.
You felt a little wrong to be enjoying your commanding officer so much. His humping was making your body respond even as it waited for your guilty conscience to catch up.
"Cap... oh, my fucking God... No, Captain. We shouldn't..." you tried to protest on his behalf, knowing he was being controlled by the powder.
"Corporal," he spoke with his mouth full of your flesh, "I can stop... now. It'll give you... enough time... to run..."
His bright pink eyes flashed up at you in warning and he used both his arms to pin you on either side of your head, forcing you to look at him, the intensity of which went right to your rapidly-melting core.
Suddenly, in a moment of lucidity, he looked you right in your eyes and finished his sentence,
"But that will not be bloody true for long."
As if warning you, he rubbed his hardness up and over your belly, letting it ruck up your shirt, and you felt its incredible heat. It was like a long, steel brand. His skin was smooth, but it was scalding and swollen with his blood. The huge tip left a wet trail of desire wherever it went.
"It's okay, Captain. You can have me if you --"
There mere suggestion of your consent was all he needed to let the dam burst and the river run free. His need crashed from him with an explosive force. He all but ripped your clothes from you, nearly hurting you in the process, making your ankles ache from the sudden pressure as he shucked your pants and boots away in one go.
Your panties were torn from you, sturdy though they were. The fabric made a whining, popping noise as the elastic split. Air rushed across uncovered skin, and your body doubled down on its plans to produce as much natural lubrication as possible. It seemed to know you'd need it.
He didn't touch you. Not with his hands. There was no preparation of any kind. Price fed himself into you like a hand into a glove, a body part in need of sudden and immediate warmth. He took control of your head again, pinning you in that same furious way, and you had a singular view of his face, twisted in a sort of sublime agony as he sank himself into you for the first time.
The pressure was almost unimaginable. Your body was making a lurid, wet, slicking noise as his cock forced you in half. You tried to allow him in, tried to relax, but there was little you could do. He was immense and heavy. It felt like a fist on a strong arm, like a forge hammer, hot and searing. The only thing more tormenting was his voice purring darkly in your ear.
"Fuck, you're warm..."
He pulled himself out of you inch by inch, leaving a terrible hollow where you were once whole.
"Wet for me. So wet. How?"
Back in. And in. And in. It seemed to go forever in and it made you wonder how deep you were.
"It feels so good to have you 'round me, love..."
When the rosy head of him found the end of your wet hole, it sort of... settled there. Locked in, like a key into a tumbler, and each fold of you a lifted pin, fitting him as if you were crafted for it.
"Thought 'bout how you'd feel. Sometimes... dreamt it."
You felt your body give away your surprise. He was too gone to notice it, but not you. You would have been able to feel the planets shift an inch to the left if they dared. You could feel everything. Each and every pore and hair and breath was awake and alive and living in the rawest possible way. Could he have really been thinking of you like you were thinking of him?
"Bloody fuckin' hell. So tight. Too tight."
He was right. It was too tight. He was squeezing himself in with each of these aching, crazed thrusts, shoving himself inside of you hungrily, all the way up to your pounding heart, it seemed. You felt yourself slipping around him like hot oil, running down his shaft and matting the coarse, dark hair that cradled his root.
"John..."
You used his name in place of his title, and he noticed. Noticed it like a hawk notices a hare. Right in your ear, up against your cheek, he responded, too quickly, too much teeth,
"Yes, love. Yes. Yes? Tell me."
He was grunting now, clearly on the edge of his pleasure. You aimed to take him over it, to plunge him into blinding darkness. You whispered, and each word hit its mark like the straight shaft of an arrow, striking into the target one after the other, tearing through the bullseyes like they were nothing but air.
"You're gonna make me come, John."
Again, that unearthly snarl came from his chest, the one you'd never heard before come from the mouth of a man. It was a cry and a scream and a prayer and a plea and had he not been pinning you down prone with his own prostrated body, he would have been growling it from his knees. He commanded you as he worshiped you,
"Give it to me. Give it to me. Give. It. To. Me."
Your body listened before you could even register his words.
From the bones in your hips, you felt your muscles tighten along his iron rod like a fist, closing in on him knuckle by knuckle, and each closure brought you closer to that brink where the darkness turned to blinding white light. You could feel the sparkle of it, that peppery gunpowder flash and then...
"Holy fuck, love..." He stared at you as if you were the sun lighting up his whole life. Like he'd seen you before, all sherbet pink and blazing orange, in the dawn, in the mornings, cutting over the horizon.
Price had come in you. You felt it. It slid along the cleft of your ass and soaked into the fabric of the couch. He didn't mind it. You couldn't. His body was still thrusting as hard and as heavy as before, fucking up into you as if he hadn't just filled you with his thick, hot cream.
"I can't... " he gasped, wrenching his eyes shut, "I can't stop..."
"It's okay, John..."
"I can't bloody stop, love. I'm... fuck, I'm sorry..."
"I'm okay. It's okay," you whispered to him, trying to soothe him.
You pet the hair back over his brow and he leaned into your touch like a cat, purring for more of it. You laced your fingers through his hair and held him tight at his scalp, turning his head so that you could talk to him right into his ear,
"Fuck me how you need to, Captain."
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Did you enjoy this tale or maybe some other work by me? Consider buying me a coffee, if you have the means. Kudos, likes, reblogs, and feral comments also work as well ^_^ Thanks!
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