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#and if i do i will be too scared to share it with anyone
lichenes · 3 days
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Nasty Dog
This one is for @kennedyabraxas123 :D They requested: "idk if u did this maybe like a cute little human doing cute things w a big scary monster and they know that they could kill tjem super easily but they still love them and everything despite the strength/size difference" and ofc I couldn't refuse<3 Nothing like good ol' size difference istg. The monster of choice is a werewolf. If we're going classic, we're going classic. I love running errands with people so I decided this would be a great prompt lol?? IDK I can re-write this if you want kennedy cuz this ain't my best work :3! HOPEFULLY there aren't that many incosistencies dude cuz-
CW: SIZE DIFFERENCE!!!, established relationship, vulnerabilty???, (petnames: little one, lovely), brief mentions of werewolf sex, other than that SFW
wc: 763
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Walking hand in hand with him you couldn’t stop thinking about how lucky you were. Your eyes drifted to him as he scratched his chin. The beautiful fur he was sporting was radiating a pleasant, warm smell and the sun was hitting his form just right to make you fall in love all over again. For a moment you forgot where you were going.
The shop was a short distance away from your house and given the nice weather you decided to take the walk. The streets were bustling with people despite the sun almost setting. The produce you had to buy were too heavy for you to carry all by yourself so you decided to employ your boyfriend, who in addition to being freakishly strong also valued quality time spent together. 
He was usually a quiet person, never showing any strong emotions aside from occasional anger when something wasn’t going his way. Today wasn’t any different. His stoic face had his usual expression on, impassive and even, uninterested. You were talking to him as he nodded along humming occasionally to show his engagement. 
Despite his demeanour, he was enjoying his time with you. You were picking through the apples you planned to take home with you, looking for the perfect ones. You didn’t realise how menacing he looked, looming over your much shorter form. You, of course, understood people being scared of your boyfriend. He was almost 8’2” which made anyone pocket-sized to him. 
You walked along the dairy aisle while he was pushing the shopping cart along. “We should get the regular milk this time.” You said putting the carton into the cart. “You always drink oat though?” He spoke up, questioning you. “You need your protein to maintain your muscles, you know.” He nodded, a small chuckle escaping his lips. “I’m not losing them any time soon, little one.” You walked to the next aisle. He continued. “After all, who will help you with your groceries if I become thin and frail?” He put his hand on the small of his back and leaned forward to simulate the hypothetical situation. You rolled your eyes playfully. Something ignited within you. A joke? From him? That was… unusual
You continued your shopping trip with a sweet treat for both of you that he paid for in the end. For a beast that had to chain himself up during the full moon he was a gentleman. 
Once during a full moon he broke out of the chains and scared the ever-loving shit out of you when he burst into your shared bedroom in his fully transformed form with a foaming snout and eyes so predatory you felt like a bunny being chased through the woods, only at his mercy. He didn’t have bloodlust on his mind this time though and after a moment of standing in the threshold he lunged towards you and ravaged you that night like a man starved. 
The next day he, of course, apologised for his behaviour and massaged all the areas that were sore. You mentioned once or twice that you’d love for him to break the chain once more but he categorically denied you access to him when the full moon was in the sky. He was so, so scared of breaking you because he knew how delicate human bodies were, not used to knots and all the other parts of being with a werewolf. 
Your mind came back from reminiscing and focused on the type of flour you had to purchase for your baking endeavours. “Why are you so distracted lovely?” He lowered his face to your ear as he didn’t want anyone to hear you. He knew exactly what had you so preoccupied. Your face got hotter for a moment but you regained your composure. “Cookies are best made with coarse-grained flour right?” You smiled innocently. 
The cashier looked horrified with the amount of items on the conveyor belt. You send them an apologetic look and began bagging your items. Just before you finished your boyfriend pulled out his card and pressed it onto the reader. You insisted on paying him back for at least half of your shared groceries but he refused to listen to you.
“Not only are you stubborn but also extremely helpful.” You said with faux exasperation as he took all of the bags into his hands. “Oh no! Whatever will I do now that you’ve upset me so badly?” You beamed. He warmed up to you enough to make jokes, a rarity for him.
“I might have a few ideas…”
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nqueso-emergency · 20 hours
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I'm so sorry babes that they're treating you like this. You have always come off resilient and human and honest. They can never take that away no matter how evil and aggressively they try. You deserve to be treated so much better regardless of anyones opinions surrounding the show. I want you to know that you don't have to be our martyr either. Your health and wellbeing should always come first. Yes, I'll say it selfishly. I don't want you to leave or change because of them, but if you ever want to, it'll be okay. We'll be okay. But you do it because it's what you want to do, not for them. They have no power over you. Those dusty lil shits can kick rocks. You've done more good for this fandom than any of those imbeciles could ever dream to imagine. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. They want to attack and tear you down because they're scared of the truth. They don't want to accept that they're the toxic part of the fandom, and that's a sad reality for them, but you babes, you've saved the day. You're a fucking rockstar. I would have quite this fandom if it wasn't for you. You've played a huge role in bringing US all together. Given us a place of solidarity. Allowed us to openly have strength and positivity and humor and vent our frustration during this hiatus all in a safe place. And again, I commend you for willing taking blow after blow and insults and unjust hatred to protect us. Sending some love 🫶🏾 I hope you and everyone else here get to experience more peace and happiness🫰🏽
OMGWTFTHATSSOSWEET
I read everyone's asks and I appreciate them all!! But I really wanted to share this one because I too hope all of you get to experience peace and happiness.
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❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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stargazing-enby · 29 days
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Can someone tell me to do it scared
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pcktknife · 8 months
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i am always filled with so much dread
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aibouart · 3 months
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admittedly, i am afraid to talk about this, but have wanted to for a long while. i don't see a lot of people discuss this kind of thing, but i decided to do so for the me who was struggling and didn't know. also i have no idea where i am going with this and it's very late for me rn so here's a whole ass ramble on vent art. and also a bit more on how it's impacting how i view my art, now. i am terribly sorry if it's not very cohesive, my thoughts on it aren't yet cohesive either WOOPS
i wanted to talk a bit about how vent art really impacted my mental health, and how the idea that art needs some kind of meaning to have meaning really has been weighing on me lately (i know this is a concept i am assigning to my work and is not actually the norm/standard expectation of others consuming art. but it IS a sentiment i have seen enough that does impact me).
i want to specify, obviously i am not saying vent art is bad.
nor that doing vent pieces, or vent blogs, will ultimately result in what i went through for a number of years. rather, that this did happen to me, and there is a near impossible chance i am a unique case in any experience i will ever have. if you do vent art and it helps you, that's good! im not judging anyone for anything here. if your experience does not match my own, that's what it's like to be human~. i am not invalidating anyone on purpose by sharing my own experience. sorry for the insane disclaimer but it will eat me alive if i go to sleep thinking "what if they think x cuz i didn't say y and think im a terrible person"
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i used to do vent art frequently (you won't find much on here as it was uploaded to a personal at the time). anytime i felt down or had a line of dialogue in my head making me feel bad in a way, i would draw for it. but the way i had interacted with it was really unhealthy. it became a terrible feedback loop where i'd feel bad, draw how i felt bad, look at the art, and ruminate even more on how i felt bad, until it spiralled so out of control i would lose touch with reality and get lost entirely in feeling like garbage.
i would just get so lost in the cycle with vent art that it would make my mental space worse and worse, and i would use the vent art as a negative confirmation bias. the words that hurt me i wrote down and anytime i looked again, they would hurt me again. but i would keep looking, and i would keep drawing.
i have always used art as an outlet, but for some reason the way vent art impacted me was unhealthy. it wasn't a good outlet. and it took me years to cut ties with it. i relied on vent art for a long time, but it took a lot of introspection and thinking to realise it wasn't the release i thought it was. and it was hard to let go, too.
i haven't touched the blog in a few months, now. i haven't done much vent art at all since then and genuinely, i've been doing SOOO much better. i no longer ruminate nearly as much as i had done so, i no longer get caught in a feedback loop that lasts for days to weeks. i still feel like garbage like people tend to do, but i don't put myself in a cycle over it anymore. i have gone back to it a few times in moments of desperation, but what used to be every week/every few weeks is now once a month maybe. and not to the extent at all (i would oftentimes post ~20 images in one night, before).
but i keep thinking about how, while the way i had done vent art was bad for my mental health, i keep feeling that just because i do sparkly cute and happy drawings, now, or drawings with no real meaning, that my art has nothing beyond face value... i do like a lot of my vent art. i think their compositions, or hidden messages and meanings, or colour use, was interesting.
but it wasn't worth the price for me.
so i am a bit caught in an in-between, here. my favourite form of art is the expression of love-you liked something so much, you dedicated time to draw it. and yet i cannot ascribe that to my own work very often. i think that man i wish i could make art with some kind of deeper meaning, that speaks to people, that's more than just pretty colours or shiny shading or a character everyone likes, or a character i like. but i just... don't know if it's for me.
ultimately, i could develop a healthy relationship with expressing and exploring negative emotions or experiences through art, but... do i want to? do i have to? do i need to? is it not enough to just draw something because... i like it..?
of course, the answer is yes, draw what you want, draw how you want, it's your art. but i am still trying to come to terms with that idea. i dont want to be seen as some shallow artist who just draws what's cute and pretty because they can and it's all they can think of, but like what if that's just what i like to draw??
in the end, that alone is good enough, drawing because you like to, because it's fun, because you like the thing you're dedicating time to creating for. it's just hard to grapple with after discarding a type of art that i felt was the only way i drew "for real".
anyways i am sorry this is soooo fucking long, and for all the clarifications (IM STILL NOT SAYING VENT ART BAD AND EVERYONE WILL DO WHAT I DID!! Dx) and the fact i had no real point here (probably)
anyways i will continue to draw what i want because i like to, as i have always been.
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hella1975 · 1 year
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all hate to tiktok for taking 'having a space to more openly and actively talk about different cultures' to mean 'cultures are NOT to be shared and we must be vigilantly defensive of our cultures for fear of appropriation, a word that can be applied to any multicultural interaction'. like of course cultural appropriation is a very real problem but ive seen with the access to global multicultural conversation that tiktok provides it's made people TERRIFIED to even interact with cultures other than their own for fear of 'doing it wrong'. like at some point you have to acknowledge that in the real world of the great outdoors, the majority of people are eager to SHARE their cultures. yes there are ignorant questions and biases but also... how do you think those things get unlearnt? i dont understand how deciding that multiculturalism is an elephant in the room instead of a normal thing that should just be talked about and lived with is supposed to benefit anyone? and kids on tiktok are CONVINCED that it's a time bomb of a conversation to have and therefore must be avoided at all costs but like. people generally LOVE their home and their culture and are PROUD of it and want to share it. how have we made it so that showing genuine interest and a desire to understand something so integral to a person's identity is now feared and borderline demonised?
#thinking about this a lot lately. thinking about how fun it was comparing cultural differences in america#thinking of how when i was homesick one thing i found a great comfort in was talking about my home#and how it differed and i really loved and appreciated it when people would ask me about england#in a way that they genuinely just wanted to learn about it and not to take the piss#thinking about how the kitchen at work has chefs from all over europe. we have an irish chef and a spanish chef and an italian chef#and one of the kps is from eastern europe (i havent actually been able to find out where yet) etc and the way they banter with each other#like usually chefs are Problematic bc their humour is VERY abrasive and usually offensive#but this is one instance where it's actually to their benefit bc they're so unafraid to ADDRESS THE FACT THEY HAVE DIFFERENT CULTURES#i feel like the tiktok gen are so petrified of even acknowledging other cultures let alone discussing them#that it's actually sending the conversation backwards. like how does hoarding your culture and pretending it's not there benefit anyone#LET ALONE YOU AND THE CULTURE IN QUESTION. idk it just baffles me a bit that something that started as people on tiktok#genuinely spreading information and talking about the BAD side of this where people DO culturally appropriate or invade spaces that arent#theirs has now become 'for fear of speaking bad about it we will not speak about it at all'. and they'll crucify you if you do. like what#even at uni my best mate is indian and she's too scared to join the sikh society on her own so i regularly go to the events with her#and im typically one of the handful (or the only) white non-sikh there and i get SO welcomed each time#like there's such a genuine excitement to share the culture with someone who is effectively a blank slate#and like yeah ill ask 'dumb' questions or i'll have different experiences (tried a samosa for the first time at one of these events#and the moment that info got out i had like five STRANGERS trying to give me different samosas to try and it was genuinely such#a laugh bc yes they were TEASING me bc 'how have you never had one' but they were also really eager to share MORE as a result)#ugh idk what im saying. i just think it's a shame to watch this happen in real time on the internet#when if people would just go outside and actually TALK to people from other cultures they'd realise 9 times out of 10 the interactions#are actually really really nice for BOTH parties. and actually refusing to talk about this stuff is long-term pretty fucking detrimental#and it also goes the other way!!! like imagine if i - citizen of colonisation motherland herself - didn't interact with other cultures#and didnt ask questions or hear their opinions on whatever shared history we have from THEIR POINT OF VIEW#imagine the kind of shit id be internalising bc i only hung out with other white british people. it wouldnt matter if i was doing it#to be woke or 'respect their culture'. it would still be fucking ignorant. like half my interactions with other cultures#see me as the butt of the joke bc of this like aforementioned irish chef at work VOCALLY slates the english all the time#but it's done in an environment where we're FRIENDS and it's poking fun at each other while still addressing a very serious history. like??#idk if any of this is worded in a way that makes sense but yeah. i have thoughts#cant believe i got inspired to make an actually serious post bc of the CHEFS AT WORK. embarrassing. no one let them see this
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animalsandskyyy · 7 months
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being homeschooled means not being able to feel normal or at ease when interacting with peers.
it means never learning how to casually text or speak within groups of people.
it means being great with authority figures or people you deem above or more adult than you, but being completely unable to communicate with anyone your age you'd want to be friends with.
it means desperately wanting to befriend people you've met in life and follow online but failing to do so, and then having every time you see them cause you to grieve the possibility of a friendship with them because you desperately want it but know you're incapable of it.
it means being severely behind in pop culture and not really being mad at that, but still knowing that it causes an even further divide.
it means going from being extremely mature as a teenager to being extremely behind in a social life in your twenties.
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auriidae · 1 year
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i found this really old comic i made and never posted here?? there is a superb dearth of context i am aware but (chucks this in your general direction anyway)
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(this was from an au based off a weird dream i had a while ago ??? it was like. they were normal human kids but they somehow got into this strange video game slash simulation or smth which SOUNDS like sburb but it was way different trust me. i wrote a ton abt it for months and then never thought about it again. n e ways.)
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angeltism · 6 days
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For the record this is probably the best time to try and befriend me, as I am currently desperate for human connection and horrendously lonely
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golohours · 5 months
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i just don’t think it’s too much to ask that ccs learn that their every thought does not need to be public. that’s all.
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g0thsoojin · 2 months
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#i regret not talking more w him abt what i wanted#when he said he fantasized abt taking me away from my world and keeping me to himself i shouldve shared my fantasies too#i have this issue where i thini every word i say i need to be held responsible for#but i know that he is like me#he fantasizes abt it but wouldnt do it for real#unless it was 100% consensual#so insstead of being scared of me sharing my fantasies would mean that i'd say i wanted to for real be#non consensually kidnapped by him -_-#i wish i hadnt been so paranoid and just talked to him abt it all#bc now that i know i cant do that anymore... i dont think i'll ever be able to trust or KNOW someone well enough to do that#and like the thing is fantasizing abt being kidnapped and stuff is only smth i feel with *him*#i trust and love him. he would never be actually abusive. all of those dark sides would be safe to explore w him#like yeah it's just that i know and i understand him and i KNOW deep in my heart i'd be safe with him#that doesnt exist w anyone else and idk if i can know anyone else again :((#bc i just /know/ him well bc i get him and we were made of the same stuff#i havent met anyone before that i just know bc i feel like our souls were meant to connect#fuck... it's all making me so depressed i cant believe i fucked up my chance at like profound epic love#it IS once in a lifetime to come across love like that and i messed it up and idk how i'll ever forgive myself#like i see pics all the time that im like omg....#him kidnapping me aesthetic!!!!!! ^-^ but then im like oh yeah#i cant tell him any of this and it will never happen bc he is thinking these things abt another girl!!!!!!#i wanna die </333
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faethfigueroth · 5 months
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#alright these tags are super embarrassing but i needed to rant publicly so uh. you can read this but please don't perceive me too much#it is so fucking exhausting having nobody to share my life with#i have literally zero friends at this point bc ever since my grandpa died i've pretty much stopped trying to keep in touch with my hometown#friends and i cut off my 'friend' group that were racist assholes who treated me like a doormat back in october and haven't really made any#close friends at college since. and i just fucking hate that this is the same way i've felt for so many fucking years like you'd think it#would be bearable at this point and i'd be used to being alone and for a while i honestly was but it just hit me tonight how fucking lonely#i am and how tomorrow i have to keep on just doing the shit i have to do in life without anyone to talk to and share it with#other than my mom who's been pissing me off lately so i've been pushing her away too!#it's so tiring to have to go out and do things and have responsibilities everyday and not being able to share that with anyone idk it makes#it feel almost like i'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders which is SO dramatic i know#like today i wanted to talk about the stupid false alarm gas leak thing with my sort of friends in this club i'm in but i didn't get to talk#to anyone at the meeting bc everyone was just talking amongst themselves in their little groups of best friends and it just reminded me that#i don't have that and i've never fucking had that i've only ever pretended i had that#it's like all these years i've been pretending to be a person that has friends and knows how to live life normally but i never have#more than anything i just miss my friends from home bc they're the closest i've ever felt to having friends that are like family but. i#don't know how to talk to them anymore. i didn't tell any of them when my grandpa died and i think they just assumed that i've moved on so#they've probably moved on and i already know that they have their own lives and friends at their schools that are a lot more full than mine#wanna know the worst part about all of this? i just had therapy and basically told her everything's fine#and i won't meet with her again until 3 weeks from now so literally the only person i can talk to about this right now is my mom#which i am absolutely not gonna do bc she's gonna get so scared and worried for me and i can't have that rn#anyways yeah. this isn't even that big of a deal like i haven't had friends for at least the past 6 months it's not like anything's changed#i just feel extra sad about it right now. i need a distraction stat gonna go watch watch some tv goodnight#shut up hanna
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izzy-b-hands · 2 months
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Didn't think the 1989 version of The Woman In Black would be scarier than the one with Dan Radcliffe in it
I was Wrong flkjdsafkldsja, but I'm delighted to have been wrong. I had missed getting scared with more practical effects/careful timing of things in the background of shots appearing and disappearing, and this one scratches that itch well.
#text post#also fun seeing how differently they interpreted the characters and how they act#personally i'm realising that the Dan version was sort of. Americanised? Which is probably something I should have realised at first watch#but it only hits now when it's like. how to explain#the casts of both versions are both amazing let's preface with that#but. the Dan version felt very Cinematic. I got scared but was also very aware I was watching An Movie during it#(it got colour-graded quite blue which isn't necessarily a bad thing but it does register in my head as Peak Cinematic for the current time#the version of the characters in this 89 version feel slightly more real? accurate to the culture they come from?#like. there's an American Openness between the ones in the Dan version#they're too open to share and hand out compliments and comments like candy they have too much of#everyone is Nice in a way that feels mildly unrealistic#and when they are mad at each other there's tension but a tension#that to me at least you don't worry abt much bc it just feels almost Already Resolved#and it does sort of just drop off and wind up that way tbh#tho I admit it's been a bit since I read the original story so my apologies if I'm misremembering that it did the same in the book#but I could swear there was more that bit of tension there#anyway it isn't that the 89 characters are all mean but they feel Actually British for lack of better words#they have moments of kindness and do have a general sense of like. yeah they care for their community but also they're getting on w/themsel#and their business and not lingering on the interactions#They're kind but not nice and they just. get on with things which is very nice#and feels more in line with the time period to me/what I expect out of a story like this#anyway speaking of Dan found out the guy playing Arthur in this also played the dad in the gross wizard franchise#which wasn't something I expected to see lol#this is my long barely an essay no one asked for and your sign to go watch the 89 version asap#it's on YT for free which is where I'm watching it so genuinely if anyone want link. I have link fjkdlsfjadlsa#I have so many more thoughts comparing and contrasting Dan to 89 but there are so many tags i'm making myself stop lmao
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squirmydonnie · 10 months
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Vent art kinda
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I spilt all my lemonade. I keep spilling my drinks. I bring a plastic water bottle to school everyday and add a flavor packet. I keep dropping them or someone else will bump into the desk and then it falls. I thought I could solve the problem today by bringing at actually water bottle, that's reusable. It backfired on me because of how tired I was. I just dropped it and it exploded. I had even less to drink than the day before.
I don't know why this is happening. I get tired of not being able to do things correctly.
I feel like a failure. Not because I dropped juice again (even though that's really bothering me), but because I can't do anything right.
I've been in ROTC since last year but I can't remember the 30 step. It's my last class and I already felt exhausted. So after I finished calling it I just sat and cried. I don't really care about any of this.
I'm still not getting enough sleep and I messed up the shower streak today. I just don't feel like getting in there now.
Its too many braids. It's too much for me to be doing so I'm just not doing it.
I don't daydream with anything Cookie 12 related anymore. It was my main coping mechanism at the time. I don't have anything lined up instead. I can't stop with my skin. I try other things but I lost my tangle.
I would take it with me everywhere I went but I lost it at school.
With daydreaming I could have someone right there for me at any time. I just went about it the wrong way. Once it started scaring me I thought about not doing it anymore. But it never seemed worth it.
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You know when you find *the* perfect song for your OTP?
Like, the song that just speaks to your soul and makes you go
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"THEM. THAT'S THEM IN A SONG."
well I found it.
and of course.
It's by Poet of The Fall.
GODS, I AM SO HAPPY, I CAN SQUEE.
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can anybody help a g*rl out and drop the bit tour merch prices??
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