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#and if im not wrong it was drawn from a film he watched not even any real engagement with buddhism or buddhists?
whorevader · 2 years
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I love blocking proud Catholics who frame - in the context of Star Wars for fuck's sake - expecting a "religious institution to change their rules for one person" as wrong ♡ I have no idea what you're smoking. Is it God
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luvtak · 10 months
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of weepy afternoons, lhc
❀ pairing lee haechan x afab!reader
❀ tw/genre est. relationship, super fluff, domestic, crying, reader’s on their period, reader is referred to as ‘girl’ a couple times and her cheeks are described to be red once :/, criminal amount of references to the movie enchanted
❀ a/n i wrote this in like an hour so it could be real rough haha, inspired by my very real need to watch enchanted when im on my period. i wrote this with this couple in mind <3 hope you enjoy it and happy august!!
❀ w/c 1058
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When Haechan got home, he didn’t expect you to look so sad. There are so many ways he can envision your welcome, anywhere from loud laughing to big bear hugs, but he would never expect you to be bent over and shaking.
When he left this morning, you were buzzing with energy, telling him about all your plans for the day and how excited you were for him to be back with you. Now, you were sat on the couch sniffling into a throw pillow—making no moves to acknowledge his arrival, shoulders shaking with your cries. In the back of his mind, he can hear the TV slowly letting out noise, but with your crushed look, eyes finally raising to meet his he ignores it, and slowly approaches, as if you were a wounded animal: and you might as well be with your glossy eyes and red cheeks, you look so small: his usually tough girl tiny by comparison.
“What’s wrong, honey? He asks when he finally gets to you, lowering himself to be eye level with you, “What happened, huh?” His head is turning like a confused puppy, looking at you with so much worry and affection you can’t help but cry more. You cry because he’s home and you missed him, you cry because the house is a mess and you promised you’d clean up, but most of all you cry because he’s being dumb and it’s obvious why you’re upset (or so you think).
“I—I don’t know, just my heart hurts for them you know?” Your voice is scratchy, showing him that you really must have been breaking down for quite a while. He wonders who you’re talking about, if he’s forgetting something about one of your friends or wasn’t listening when you told him something important, but nothing comes to mind.
“Who, baby? Who’s hurting?” At his confusion all you feel is annoyance, it’s obvious whose hurting, it would be right in front of his face if he just looked.
“Them! Hyuck look at the TV! this is so sad, they’re just so in love, but they can’t be.” And he does look, but all he sees is Enchanted playing on the television. Combined with your sobs is the soft playing of ‘So close’ as Giselle and Robert dance around the ballroom—and suddenly everything begins to make sense.
From the very beginning of your relationship, every time you’ve gotten your period you’ve been drawn to Enchanted like a moth to a flame. Needing to watch the love story and cry your eyes out, as he has to unfortunately watch. He can’t count how many times you’ve sadly announced it’s your time of the month and then promptly turned on the movie.
While he could be annoyed or bitter at the constant playing of sing-alongs, all he feels is endeared, so he quickly cuddles into your shaking figure. Hugging you with both arms and legs like a koala, hoping that his affection will somehow cure your blues. He gives you a series of wet kisses, laughing and cooing at how sweet you are to be a grown girl and still crying at Disney films.
“Oh, my baby, why didn’t you call me earlier? I would’ve come home to you.” And you know he’s telling the truth, if he had even a whiff of you being sad and alone and hurting, he would’ve rushed back with ice cream and flowers galore. He knows millions of people go through this every month, but he can’t stomach the thought of his Honey in pain—all alone with nothing and nobody but Disney plus to comfort you.
“I didn’t want to bother you, you’re so busy and I can watch this all by myself.” You’re putting on a front, looking bravely at him even as the tears flow freely from your eyes. Inside, you know that half the reason you’re crying is because you missed him. Usually, he’d be there to sit with you, laughing and cuddling you at all the right times, and if you were lucky and he was in a good mood he’d sing along to the music like a lullaby.
However, you understand he is a busy boy—his schedule filled up with several commitments that he can’t just walk out on, even if he would. There’s too many people relying on him, and you can’t call him every time your tummy hurts, and your hormones go crazy (even if the hurt feels like a knife repeatedly stabbing you all over your lower body and then laughing at you).
“My silly silly girl, I’m never too busy for you. I know I can’t do much but I’m sure cuddling you and remembering to bring you your pain killers is enough, right?” and it is. There’s something so lovely about him, even if it’s the bare minimum. Your boyfriend never shies away from these conversations, he thinks it’s important that he knows and appreciates everything about you. Even if he can’t fully understand—especially if he can’t understand.
Donghyuck’s love language is really just being obsessed with you, knowing the ins and outs of your everyday life, and loving you more for it. As he sits with you now, he can see fully what he missed before—the telltale signs of your period running its course—the pinch in your forehead and the deep eyebags, and parts of him do feel ashamed he’s only now picking up on it.
“I’m sorry your body and your heart hurts, my honey bear, let’s start the movie over and take a nap, huh? How does that sound?” and even though your nose scrunches at his cheesy nickname, and you know the movie will just make you cry again—you look at him and agree.
He's wrapped around you, and he smiles, hoping your body will benefit from his body heat pressing into yours, smacking kisses all over your face until you’re laughing, and his gentle pecks begin to miss. And you know He’ll hold you tight all day, warming you up from the inside. He’ll tell you he loves you; he’ll tell you over and over again if it helps the pain wash away. And you know if you ask to watch Enchanted again, he’ll put it on with no complaints and sing along with you.
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© luvtak
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kyufessions · 1 year
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pink hair dye
synopsis: you help your boyfriends best friend dye his hair at an ungodly hour
pairings: idol, boyfriend! gunil x g.n reader (featuring band mate, best friend! gaon)
genre: comedic fluff
word count: 1k
general taglist: @jwnghyuns @eaudenana @soobin-chois @jungsusvillain
a/n: the way i wrote this during my entire eight hour shift today bc it was so slow and boring today 😭
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secretly dyeing jiseok’s hair at two in the morning wasn’t part of your plans, but when boredom (and a full bottle of pink hair dye) calls, you just have to answer. the rest of the members were fast asleep, counting sheep as you two sat up in the living room with a bowl of hair dye and bleach sitting on the head of the man next to you.
“if i get in trouble with gunil, im blaming you.” you mumbled as you mixed the dye, his eyes glued to the random netflix movie that you put on the pass the time.
the younger turned to you, a caprisun straw sitting against his lips. “he won’t even find out, don’t worry about it.”
“has the movie hit the fifteen minute mark yet?” you ask, your eyes wandering to the screen with a squint. noticing that it has, you instruct jiseok to go wash out the bleach before his hair obtains any more damage from the chemicals.
as if on cue, as soon as jiseok enters the bathroom, out comes your boyfriend with a tired stance. gunil lets out a small yet powerful yawn, his face scrunching up tiredly in a way that makes you giggle. he leans against the doorframe, arms crossed against his chest. “i’m almost done with this beat, then we can go to bed. is that okay?” with a swift nod of your head, he sends a small thumbs up in your direction before heading back inside his room quietly so as to not wake jooyeon.
when jiseok hears the sound of gunil’s door close, he gradually opens the bathroom door and shuffles quietly over next to you. both of you look at each other wide eyed, hands over your own mouths to stifle your laughter.
“i could’ve sworn he was asleep by now.” he whispered, drying off his newly bleached hair with a towel.
“me too!” you respond, picking up the bowl and ensuring everything was mixed fully before starting to put it all over the younger man’s hair. “he was so quiet, i could’ve sworn he was knocked out by now.”
minutes pass in silence as you both are drawn to the movie and you put pink dye in the man’s hair. inside of your boyfriend's room sat gunil, headphones on as he got to work on an upcoming comeback. well, that was until he inhaled deeply and smelled something. he wasn’t sure what it was exactly, concern filling his mind with multiple possibilities of what it could be. he slides off his headphones and sets them aside, standing to his feet and opening the door slowly. he took in a small sniff, thinking it smells of chemicals. walking up behind the couch, he noticed you and jiseok sitting in front of the television watching a comedic film. getting closer to you both he realized the dye bowl in your hand and jiseok’s newly blonde hair being painted, putting two and two together realizing that this is where the smell was coming from.
he smiled to himself for a moment, enjoying the view of his significant other and best friend getting along rather well. when he first started seeing you, he was worried that you might not click well with his members. but he couldn’t be more wrong, this moment proving otherwise.
“alright, now let this sit for twenty minutes and you should be good to go.” he heard you whisper, watching you set down the dye bowl under the coffee table in an attempt to hide it.
“what movie are you guys watching?” a deep voice interrupts, leaning forward on the back of the couch with his hands. both you and jiseok let out a small yelp, jumping in your seated spots on the floor and whipping your heads around to see a grinning gunil. a staring contest takes place for a few seconds, all pairs of eyes darting between one another. gunil laughs quietly at the both of you, moving from behind the couch and sitting on the arm of it. “i smelled chemicals and got worried so i came out to see if you both were alright.”
jiseok nods, a smile appearing on his lips as he points to his head. “isn’t the color nice?”
all he does is nod at his member, chuckling at his nightly antics. “i’m excited to see it, but you.” he started, looking in your direction. “you’re helping him?”
you nod slowly, sending puppy dog eyes your boyfriends way. “he asked, and the shade would really compliment his skin tone. villains would love it!”
he just laughs, leaning forward to put his chin in his hand as his elbow props up on his knee. you know he’s just joking and that all of this is a lighthearted manner, so you aren’t scared or intimidated in the slightest. “but will the company love it?”
gunil watches as you and his younger band mates eyes widen once again, looking at one another then ultimately shrugging in response. “i guess we’ll find out in a few hours!” the youngest exclaims, his smile brightening.
he just smiles at him, looking over at you and noticing you staring at his hair. as you remind jiseok that it’s time to rinse out the hair dye, gunil sits there admiring you. his mind starts to wander about how lucky he is to have found someone like you up until you wrapped your arms around him, bringing him out of his daze.
“he makes me feel like a father.” he mumbled as he placed a small kiss to your cheek, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into his lap.
“he makes me feel like the cool aunt and a parent all in one, gives me a bit of a confidence boost.” you joke, laughing along with gunil as you both hear the water running in the bathroom. “are you ready for bed? you look tired, babe.”
gunil lets out a small yawn, nodding as he lifts you up into his arms and starts walking towards his bedroom. a perfect yet chaotic end to a perfect and productive night.
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indiehorrorgamemovie · 7 months
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isthefnafmovieout reviews the fnaf movie (SPOILERS)
Pre-movie thoughts (written 10/25):
I get to see it a day early! YAY!
I might have hyped this movie up in my brain a little too much, because I'm SUPER anxious.
The polarizing reviews i was seeing throughout the day were definitely a little nerve wracking! Lots of good and bad reviews, lots of weird contridicting statements. I saw lots of people complaining about the lore being "wrong" or whatever but... Eh. It has already been established that this movie won't have the same lore as the games, so I won't mind any lore changes. They're like the Silver Eyes books, in their own seperate canon but with similarities to the games.
Overall Im keeping my hopes reasonably high. Horror films and video game adaptations tend to get a bad wrap from even the fairest critics. I'm a die-heard fnaf fan, have been for all 9 years of its existence. If Dawko loves it then I will love it I think 🫡
Okay, now with that out of the way...
Spoiler free review, posted on my letterboxd:
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Post-movie thoughts (written 10/26):
The way they incorporated Mike's dream sequences into the narrative was really interesting, how he tries to use his dreams to find out who took his brother. He and Abby were really sweet :) I like how their relationship drives the plot along, with how they befriend Abby but only as a front because they want her to "be like them," and how Mike is caught up in the past and realizes that he needs to focus on protecting Abby, not bringing his brother back. Its surprisingly emotional, i really resonated with their story. Josh Hutcherson and Piper Rubio both did well!
It's basically everything I expected, and I liked it! I think it's story was good, with its focus on childhood innocence.
Vanessa is great too! Different from her game counterpart, but thats okay! And the twist that she's actually William aftons daughter? Holy shit I gasped like I was watching a soap. Thats so interesting!! I loved how she just FELT suspicious. I know it's very different from the game lore, but I expected the movie to be, and I liked what they did! I got chills when Vanessa showed the picture of her and William to Mike and you could see her holding the plane that Mike's brother used to have.... my dad thought that was the creepiest part. Speaking of william btw...
Matthew Lillard, man. wow. What a great William Afton. They do some subtle implications that hes William in the beginning and if i didnt know it was him already i would've been surprised. He hams it up like he did with Stu Macher and it's great! I wish he was in it a little more, and they expanded a little more on Williams character through Vanessa, but yeah, he was good! I hope to see more of him in any sequels!
I wish the animatronics showed up a little more, thats probably my biggest critique or whatever. But they are so well made and cute. I liked how they befriended Abby, and that they rlly honed in on the animatronics being possessed by kids and that their violence is from William Aftons influence. I wish they went more into depth about how William influenced them though, and why it's all the pictures drawn of what happened that control their vision of what happened. What we did get from them though was so cool! Jim Henson did so well with these guys, they're so cute yet can be so scary.
The kills were pretty tame on the surface, as I expected, but some of the implications were quite disturbing to a point where it didn't rlly take away from it for me. Especially Max's, it gave me a "Ada in the laser room in the re4 seperate ways remake" vibes. Same with the security guards death to the faz-trap in the beginning.
There were some pacing issues, theyve definitely cut some things i wouldve liked to see, there was some goofiness (that fort making scene made me laugh so hard im sorry, it was cute though), and some story elements that needed a touch more expanding upon, but this movie was still really fun! For non-fans, honestly i dont know how they'reresponding as a whole besides those really weird reviews im seeing on rotten tomatoes and such, but I saw it with my dad, who knew very little going into it, and he liked it, especially the story with the missing kids! For fans... well, If you like fnaf, are are willing to forgive some lore changes for the sake of telling a coherent story, then you'll love it!
Also why was Matpat there lol. isthefnafmovieout, out. See you on the flipside.
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emmadoodlewrites · 2 years
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giving you permission to talk about therapy tickles more 🙌🏼 what do you think each of dtqk’s reactions would be to it? at what stage do you think they’d start regretting their decision? who would be most teasy?
a situation that i can imagine happening is that gogs would be teasing everyone the whole time, but using the “im filming i can’t!!” whenever they try to convince him to have a turn. except that at one point the massager starts joining in in the argument. and now the situation is one that george can’t say no to because they’re such a lovely person who’s been so kind to them? how could he say no it’s just rude? (drawn from uber story)
and so after throwing teases around all day, george is finally lying down on the massage table, subject to a taste of his own medicine from the 4 other boys in the room
godddddddd literally this is so perfect that’s exactly how I’d picture george’s turn going. and oh my gosh thank you for letting me rant about this more i definitely have more to say akljfhklasfj So here we go the events of a tickle therapy with dtkq!! (this ended up over 1k words wtf...)
First of all, 100% I think they’d make Dream go first. They’d make the excuse that since he’s got the most subscribers he gets the honor of being first. The massage therapist was told beforehand and is totally okay with being filmed and also plays along and tries to coax Dream into going for it akdljfh. You get the choice when laying down whether you want to lie on your front or back and Dream decides on being on his back to prove he isn’t nervous. And we already saw from my post earlier how his turn went. I really really liked your input llama about him constantly trying desperately to turn away from the camera. At some point he gives up and covers his face with his hands which the massager allows since Dream isn’t covering as many spots like this. The therapist focuses mostly on his sides and stomach for the majority of the session, since he seems to be most ticklish there. They switch between poking to scribbling the fingers, and every time the technique changes he jumps. His reactions mostly stem from rocking side to side, to arching his back to try and get away from the feeling. For the sake of time each person only gets about a ten minute turn, which is way too long in Dream’s opinion. But he makes it! 
I imagine since it’s literally their job, these specific massage therapists are extremely good at zeroing in on bad spots. Even on people who aren’t even super ticklish in many places. Because they’re professionals!! And since this is being filmed, and they’re in a pretty fun and relaxed atmosphere, anytime the find a spot, like maybe a specific rib or a place hidden place somewhere else, they’ll verbalize it like, “ooh this is a good spot” or “hey guys watch this” and then all of the sudden the one on the table bursts into cackles before they know what the hell just happened
The first time this ended up happening was with Quackity who was trying his damn hardest to keep still and calm for the massager. And it was working pretty well the first three minutes in! He had decided lie on his stomach more like how a regular massage would go, and he mostly had his head rested on his arms, pretty much just giggling freely and occasionally cussing out his friends anytime one of them through a tease at him. The area the massager found was on the back of only one of his lower ribs, which they noticed since he seemed to be involuntarily flinching a bit more anytime they went there, and quackity likely didn’t even notice he was doing it. “Uh oh, what is that? I think I’ve found something,” the therapist says very deadpan, trying to mess with Q as if something is wrong. “Whahat? What, is everything ok?” “I’m not sure, tell me if you feel this.” And with that they expertly use one finger to drill into the rib, and all of the sudden Quackity is not so calm anymore. He lifts his head away from his arms and arches his back completely, and he’s lifted himself slightly off the table with his elbows, completely in stitches from his laughter. 
After Quackity is done with his turn, he basically forces Karl to go next. Karl was the one who did the majority of the teasing for Q’s turn, and many of the rest of the group agreed in making him go next. He argues as much as he can but he is very much outvoted. He reluctantly lies down on his back and the therapist promises it’ll be okay and they will always stop when they're told to. Once they start, it is obvious to the therapist, the viewers, and pretty much everyone in the room that Karl is the most ticklish person in the group. The second their hands latch onto his sides he is just drowning in frantic laughter. The camera is panning back and forth from Karl to the massager’s reaction, who is also doubled over laughing from the contagious giggles and over the top squirming. There’s not even much teasing anymore for this turn, since everyone is just losing it at how funny everything is. 
Karl’s turn goes by pretty quick, and up next is Sapnap. He has watched a majority of the group go by now, and is super confident that he’s gonna be just fine! He even says so as he lies down on his back. The massager raises an eyebrow, “Is that so? Is that a challenge?” They’ve caught onto the group's sense of humor and have really warmed up to their way of messing around. (I imagine the fandom falls in love with this person after the vlog releases since they were so fun and friendly akldjfhlk) Sapnap kinda clams up like “no no it’s- It’s not a challenge I was just saying haha-” the group is absolutely teasing at this point. “Alright then, I’m gonna start now, are you ready?” “Yes” Sap even puts his arms above his head to prove his point, something no one else has done up to now. “You sure?” “I said yehAHAHA-” He doesn’t even get to finish his sentence as the therapist takes him by surprise. Sap also has a couple specific spots the massager ends up finding. One on his hips and another towards his sternum. After both spots are targeted at the same time, he yells stop, and after all his touch talk he’s the only one that didn’t make it the whole time haha! The therapist admits to him though that they did go a bit harder on him though since he had made such a big deal out of being able to handle it, hence why to bad spots were hit all at once pfft
Finally, as you said llama, George is peer pressured into having his turn. Before he lays down on his stomach, he mentions to the massage therapist that he’s really not that ticklish. Whether or not that’s a lie or not, we have no idea! But, the therapist replies that won’t be a problem at all ^_^. Just as George had said, once they begin, the most reaction he shows is a forced smile tugging at his lips that he’s trying to hide from the camera out of embarrassment, and just a little bit of squirming. The group is now messing around calling him ‘strong gogy’ and trying to coax him into laughing. After a bit of trying many different places, the massager finally finds a spot a little bit underneath his shoulder blades that makes him suddenly choke out a surprised laugh. “Ahhh there we goooo” They zero in on that spot and just like how George laughs when it comes to something funny, the longer they stay in a spot the louder and more frantic his laughter becomes until he’s cackling and asking them to move somewhere else. The therapist goes on to find a couple more places just like this, one on his thigh, and another right between his underarms and top ribs. By the time his turn is over he breathless and red in the face. 
They all thank the massage therapist greatly for allowing them to film and for being so kind to them since they were likely not very similar to many other customers they'd ever had. The therapist says they also had a blast, and the friend group went on their way to film some other places that day for the rest of the meetup vlog. 
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gayfrasier · 10 months
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okay. i think im far enough removed from last night to like actually voice my thoughts on this movie. oppenheimer spoilers ahead lol!
in all i think its a fantastic film. like its a ridiculously well made and well thought out movie technically and structurally. granted i didn’t expect anything less, but it was nice to see and confirm lol. i will say though that it wasn’t necessarily the movie i was expecting.
Going in, i thought it would be a kind of drawn out movie all about the trinity test, and like, the leadup to the trinity test. That’s kinda how its portrayed in the trailer, and that is certainly Not what the movie is. It’s not even how it’s framed at all. The trinity test is like a necessary detour for the actual framing of the movie, which is the hearing for oppenheimer’s security clearance in 1954, and the cabinet confirmation of lewis strauss. A lot of the discussion of the movie just kind of assumes that it only focuses on the trinity test and the actual creation of the atomic bomb, so i just assumed that too. It is at its core a biopic and in hindsight it’s hard to believe i ever doubted that. Now that i recognize that my thoughts definitely shifted.
I will say, the first 45 minutes or so are a fucking whirlwind. Theres barely a second to breathe. In the moment i thought this was a serious flaw, but now after seeing the whole film it was for sure a structural choice. That whirlwind aspect of the first section is not the rule for the entire film, and i didn’t have any similar qualms throughout the rest of the movie. But god, there were so many scenes back to back to back that barely let the dialogue and emotions sit for even a moment, that i thought it was a byproduct of the 3 hour runtime. Looking back, it was just a way to show the whirlwind nature of oppenheimer’s life at the time. Did i enjoy that in the moment? no. i recognize why they did it though, and i like it conceptually. in practice it just made me so confused. which leads me to my next point
this movie is so fucking confusing in ways that are probably just a skill issue. Like dont get me wrong, the plot itself isn’t that confusing. Did it take me a minute to realize? yes. But after that it wasn’t that difficult to follow. what made the movie so confusing to me was the sheer size of the cast of characters. There are so many white men in this movie. Like so many. And they are all treated as important. and i could not remember any of their names. And frequently their names are brought up in reference to eachother without any connection to their faces. I’m sure if you’re deeply familiar with oppenheimer and the other scientists involved on the manhattan project that wouldn’t have been an issue, but for me? i had no clue who the hell they were talking about half the time. in a similar vein, i miss subtitles. i tried so hard to catch all of the dialogue but sometimes i just couldn’t do it. like at the end of the movie, arguably the most important line of the whole film, i just didn’t understand what he said. I had to google it afterwards. Are these skill issues? yes. but they made the film harder to watch so im mentioning them.
now do i think this movie glorifies oppenheimer? yes. but only in the way that no matter how you slice it, making a movie centered around one man and his worldview is inherently glorifying. What the movie glorifies is oppenheimer’s intelligence and opinions (and even then to an extent), not his actions. this film is critical of the use of the atomic bomb. it’s critical of the actions of the united states. there are plenty of scenes where you stare in horror at the thoughts and feelings of the us government and how it manifests. that scene alone with president truman and oppenheimer made me sick to my stomach. but oppenheimer is portrayed as a genius overall. he is portrayed as right in his feelings and emotions, complicated and messy as they are. It’s hard to say what exactly about oppenheimer they do glorify since oppenheimer himself is kind of all over the place in his opinions in the first place. but strauss is shown as an evil man for holding a grudge against oppenheimer, and that’s the truth.
i think thematically it did right. i enjoyed it overall. but i can very easily see this movie have a similar reception to american psycho, as those who focused on the objective and meaning of the film will understand its thematic elements, and those who simply watched it without considering any of that will form a black and white opinion on oppenheimer himself. Patrick bateman bros who think they’re just like him are gonna do the same thing to oppenheimer. that’s a fact. the problem is though that instead of a fictional psychopath we’re discussing a historical figure who is, in some ways, responsible for the death of hundreds upon thousands of people. the discourse surrounding this film will become legendary. the film bro “pretty fly for a white guy” edit needs to be redone with this movie included in it. i am excited to see its inevitable creation.
ANYWAYS. outside of that it’s a really good movie. i liked how they shot strauss’s perspective in black and white and oppenheimer’s in color. i liked the sound design (overwhelming as it was at times). i like how it played with the background when oppenheimer was spiraling in his thoughts. i thought that the trinity test scene was one of the most jaw dropping things i’ve ever witnessed in a theater. that scene of oppenheimer after the test giving his little speech is gonna stick with me for the rest of my life. ludwig goransson’s score is spectacular as it always is. its a very good film.
OH. theres also like. 5 women in this movie. 3 of them have been fucked by oppenheimer. one is his sister in law. one is a scientist. thats pretty much it. and 3 of those 5 have combined maybe 2 minutes of screentime. the other two (florence pugh and emily blunt) are more integral. Kitty oppenheimer is going to get a skylar white esque reaction from the general population but that’s okay because i loved her. she’s my everything.
theres probably more to say about this film (the way it uses oppenheimer’s jewish heritage, the shorlisting of the natives of los alamos (who had 2 mentions the entire film and one of which was by presdient truman btw)) but i dont have the understanding to dive into that. other people could handle it better. so i think that’s it for me.
THAT BEING SAID, if i see one more barbenheimmer joke im gonna start punching walls. its distasteful. not just because neither of those films deserve to be condensed and packaged into neat little memes but also because you people can’t be normal about it. i swear to god. nobody gives a shit that you think the barbie movie is this grand incredible film that needs to be taken seriously and that oppenheimer is also good too. shut up. we get it. greta gerwig is a good filmmaker that isnt news, and if you thought it was, brother i believe you are the problem.
TLDR. It’s a good movie. you should watch it yourself.
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legosloth16 · 1 year
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youtube
finally finished watching this video of the nine realms and its just uh why does this exist oh yeah to get money, like the amount of shit that just makes no sense or pisses off the HTTYD fandom like im just going try to briefly list this mess
major thing thats a blatant insult to fans, the main character tom finds hiccups prosthetic leg which is iconic and a important part of the HTTYD franchise just decides seconds later after finding it, throws it at a dragon for no reason and to make it even worse it focuses on the dragon just crushing and eating it
the time line is constantly contradicting when any time a character mentions how many days it been when another says its been possibly weeks or months
the plot not making any sense in most these eps with half arse excuses to have some sort of drama
instantly finding out what the runes in the dragon book mean by using the fucking internet of all things somehow which they could’ve also easily done the moment they found the book right from the beginning of the show
The dragon book is just treated with no care or respect and is drawn on with shity scribbles
the contacdiction of the kids knowing a certain class of dragon before understanding the dragon book
every rune that was from the og films and show just completely dont match as clearly the writers just dont give a shit with any consistency
the fact they kept leading up to being serious to where hiccups finale resting place to only find it and make a joke with it actually having nothing to do with that and being instead a entrance to a realm
Its said that hiccups family just went in and out of the nine realms hanging out with the dragons which just makes no fucking sense and completely makes the ending of their final ferwell of the dragons utterly pointless
olivia just being worst mother with just being constantly bitchy about the wrong things when finding out that her son and the other kids have been riding dragons in the air over lava but then randomly just goes along with it and refusing to tell the other parents there that their kids are possibly doing dangerous shit all because she promises her own son now
theres a big reveal that tom is actually related to hiccup as a descendant which everyone fucking predicted from episode one of this shit show not to mention his last name kullersen literally translating to son of haddock
the shipping of characters are just ways to piss of the fandom as they know fully what the fans want with possibly tom and alex together in a healthy relationship and then choose to go with the worst pairing possible of tom and jun
writers throwing in 4th wall breaking comments by characters saying jokes that just feel like insults to anyone who watches or criticises the show
and finally last rant this is pretty funny but also wtf and just shows what a mess this show is, theres a character that’s literally a black male and then in a later episode is literally changed to white which apparently was a mistake as the show creators had two models and they accidentally used the white version
there’s probably way more and indepth points that i missed like a random guy with an axe trying to kill kids and trap and create a structures with dragons out of ice like i see a slight problem here with keeping and trapping fire breathing dragons with ice
honestly dear god its a meme that the show creator said in a interview that he cared for the franchise, it actually feels the writers just want to insult the entire fandom into being cancelled
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joontier · 4 years
Text
mile high memoirs | oneshot
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synopsis: you and the two other rappers of the global sensation BTS make a collaboration of sorts 
pairings: namgi (namjoon and yoongi) x reader
rating: R (18+)
genre: fluff, humor, smut | au: idol! au; established relationship! au
warnings: pwp basically hnngnhng; and yes sex on a private jet bc why tf not ; cunnilingus, oral sex (m and f receiving), cum swallowing, dom! Yoongi undertones, threesome, double penetration, anal sex, multiple orgasms; i have nothing else to say at this point except im dragging yall with me to thirst hours
word count: 5.9k
g/n: NAMGI NATION RISE!!!!!! anywho, this is a lovely gift for @mintseesaw​ for being an awesomesauce person in general and yes, we’re thirsting for the same men bUT SHE WONT SHARE HNGNNNG SO I’VE WRITTEN THIS INSTEAD (in the hopes that this might satiate my obviously unquenchable thirst for the hyung line!?/1!?!?) ALSO THIS IS HEAVILY UNEDITED KJFSKDJFSDJF please let me know what you think! x
between the lenses navi. |  navi. | m.list
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“_________! Please look this way!”
“How do you feel about New Day becoming the number one streamed song in more than forty countries after being released just last week?”
“Is it true that you’re in a relationship with BTS’ Suga? Or RM? Or are the three of you engaged in a polyamorous relationship?”
The last one catches you off guard and you look away from the cameras to hide the amusement on your face. The last thing you need is people speculating about your personal life once they see your reaction to their questions, so you continue on your way to immigration, face down and expressionless.
If you were being completely honest, there was always a crowd that came with you when you had schedules overseas, fans and paparazzi huddled together as they took pictures of you. But today was different, especially considering the fact that you were also at Gimpo, and not Incheon.
With Gimpo, a significantly less busier airport than Incheon, you had only anticipated a smaller crowd but you seemed to have forgotten that you were scheduled to fly with two of the rappers of BTS to Amsterdam today to film the music video for your collaboration, “New Day”.
Upon your arrival, a throng of security guards placed themselves as barricades to bar the large group of people from crowding the hallways. Your team successfully weaves your way through the massive crowd and arrives safely by the immigration.
You soon see your boyfriend lounging by the private boarding area, and Yoongi immediately stands to greet you. You place a quick peck on his lips when you meet. Namjoon stands to greet you as well and you turn to the younger man to give him a huge hug. “It’s been a while since I saw you Joonie!” The tall rapper gets shy at your nickname, dimples peeking as he looks down.
“It must have been wild out there,” Yoongi says, giving you a once over as he checks if you got hurt or injured on the way to the boarding area. You coo at your boyfriend, face crumpling at his concern even after years of being in a relationship. Nuzzling your head onto the crook of his neck, you inhale the wonderful scent of the perfume you’d gave him when you came back from your US tour.
“Yeah it was! Honestly whenever I leave Korea, the amount of people who’d send me off isn’t even half of the crowd out there – and that’s already in Incheon! Not Gimpo! I always seem to forget that you guys are worldwide superstars!” Yoongi just laughs at your observation, shaking his head at you as he offers his iced Americano. 
Unbeknownst to those outside your private lives, you had initially met Yoongi pre-debut. You used to attend the same school back in Daegu and fun fact: you were the same ex-girlfriend he’d composed a letter for during high school and sent the same to a radio station to have it aired.
You had both met at a tender age, and admittedly, there were a few petty reasons for your break-up, but one of them was because you both wanted to pursue a career in music, and with the kpop industry not exactly big on the idols dating, you had decided to remain friends, for the time being.
It was Yoongi who contacted you first when you debuted in late 2012, and as you caught on with your lives, sharing similar stories during your trainee days, he’d also asked you to anticipate their debut in a few months’ time as well.
True to his word, their group debuted the following year in June, and you had sent congratulatory flowers to BigHit, praising them for their powerful stages and a very promising career. You and Yoongi had kept in touch ever since. Nothing wrong about rekindling an old flame, right?
Funny enough, dating under the radar seemed to have fallen naturally for the two of you as you both prefer staying indoors and improvising dates rather than having to go out and risk getting caught by the media. Besides, it would have been easier just in case things got a little bit heated. Which happened most of the time. In your defense though, being able to meet at least once a week was already a blessing – so occurrences like that were bound to happen…
One day while you were trying to work out this melody for a song you composed, Yoongi sat next to you and pulled you on his lap as he rested his chin on your shoulder. “Why don’t I help you with that love?” He lets you rest your back on his chest as his fingers fluidly move against the piano keys. Genuinely satisfied with what he played for you, you placed a kiss on his cheek as a token of your gratitude. “Thanks, Suga PDnim.”
“Speaking of that… do you want to have a collab – you and me?” You look at him, expectantly, mouth slightly open at surprise of his proposal. Truthfully, you had thought about that even before you actually got back in to a relationship, but you could never really bring the subject up because he always seemed so busy and you didn’t want to burden him any further by asking for extra work.
And that’s what you told him, but your boyfriend only laughed at you, intertwining his hands with yours on the piano. “Baby, I would’ve dropped all the other collaborations if you had just said the word.”
You were beyond elated, and honored, and when Namjoon came in to check on Yoongi, the latter asked if he had any opinion on a collaboration between Yoongi and you. Your boyfriend even convinced the younger rapper to get involved in the track. With the blessing of Bang PDnim, you’re finally here, scheduled to travel overseas to film the music video for the track the three of you had worked on which went global in mere hours, thanks to the very talented men you got the chance to work with.
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You take out your camera from your bag to film a little, just in case you’ll get to release a ‘behind-the-scenes’ vlog for your collaboration. You make an attempt to film Yoongi who’s half-awake but all to no avail. Namjoon gladly offers some screen time for your video. The younger rapper laughs shyly when you squeal in excitement asking him for a few words about your collaboration. Namjoon does so like a professional: telling the camera where you’re headed off to today, thanking the fans for their never-ending support, and wishing them to anticipate the upcoming music video. 
It doesn’t take long before someone tells the lot that your plane is ready to board, so you wake a dazed Yoongi and bid goodbye to the rest of the staff who were taking a separate flight to your destination. 
Ever the hardworking idol, Yoongi decides to make some revisions on a song he’s working on while you take this time to finally finish a book Namjoon himself recommended a while back. You don’t notice the hours that have passed by when you check the window, and it’s already pitch-black outside, save the occasional gray because of the clouds.
Unbuckling your seatbelt, you head over to the lavatory to relieve your bladder. On your way back to your seat, you glance Namjoon’s way and see the flesh-colored screen your eyes getting glued to the screen watching two men pound a girl into the mattress. You get drawn back to reality because of some minor turbulence and you quickly avert your eyes from the screen.
“Babe, Joonie’s watching porn,” you whisper as you get to your seat, snuggling into your warm blanket. “And who told my girlfriend it was right to snoop into other people’s preferential pastimes?”  
You roll your eyes at him, “It’s not like I purposely watched what was on his screen! Just in case you needed the facts, he was seated with his back facing me, so it’s just natural that I’d get a glimpse of whatever ‘preferential pastime’ it is that you he was doing on his phone! It’s not my fault he didn’t dim the brightness if he truly wanted to watch it privately- “
“You didn’t need to go off, babe,” Yoongi laughs, placing a kiss on your head. “Should we head to bed now? I wanna sleep…and cuddle. Sleep, really, but since you’re here, I guess we could cuddle.”
“You make it sound like it’s a chore!”
Yoongi gives your indignance no attention, just tugging you up from your seat towards the bedroom. “Joon, we’re going to go to sleep now. You should go do the same soon.”
Namjoon’s lips part to reply, but Yoongi beats him to it. “And don’t even think about attempting to sleep in that seat. There are two beds back there for a reason. _______ and I will just share one. Feel free to take the other.” A small smile graces the younger man’s face in gratitude, nodding his head as he wishes you both a good night’s sleep.
Of course, life is bittersweet – so even with an insanely comfy bed and your boyfriend beside you to snuggle freely – a good night’s sleep is the last thing you get. Restlessly turning to lie on your back for what seems to be the hundredth time tonight, you heave a sigh as you stare at the jet’s ceiling. Must’ve been the iced Americano you shared with Yoongi before you boarded. Damn him and his triple-shot Americano.
Namjoon enters the room and notices your state of restlessness. “Can’t sleep?”
“Sort of.”
“There’s warm milk by the galley if you want some.”
“I’m too lazy to get up…”
Namjoon chortles, finding it’s moments like these that remind him of your likeness to Yoongi. “I can get you some if you want?” Namjoon offers, already turning to leave the room but you grab his arm, stopping him from doing so.
“No, please! You really don’t need to. I know I’ll be able to sleep in a few more minutes….”
“The average person falls asleep in twenty, and you and Yoongi hyung came here about an hour ago,” Namjoon points out. Giving him a blank stare, you reply, “Why don’t you head to bed and rest? We’ve still got a long day tomorrow.”
“Okay. Good night, noona.”
“Night Joonie.”
You have proven all of Google’s methods of falling asleep faster to be false. Warm milk, the 4-7-8 breathing method, relaxing music, even counting sheep in vain. You’d even tried working on your vlog to Amsterdam (that you probably aren’t even going to release), giving up when you couldn’t make out Yoongi’s slurred speech when you tried to interview him while he was napping (you don’t know why you even bothered at this point, but you probably thought it was funny earlier this afternoon).
Nada. Nothing was working, not when you’ve still got three shots of espresso coursing through your veins.
There was only one way left and you had a feeling that this was going to definitely knock you out. You need to get exhausted, and the only idea left is sitting cross-legged at the back of your head, blowing a huge bubble with her gum as she files her nails. She looks at you with taunting eyes. You glance over to Namjoon’s bed, analyzing his features to see if he had gone to sleep already or not. A light snore that escapes his lips assures you so.
Letting out another exhale, you turn to face Yoongi on your left, studying his features. Your boyfriend wakes when your lips graze his cheek as you place a light kiss on his milky skin. One eye pries open to peer at you. “Babe, what are you doing?” His groggy voice shouldn’t have appealed to you as strongly as it did now, but your desperation to get some sleep had seemed to travel south.
“Just kissing my beautiful boyfriend,” you shrug innocently, fighting the teasing lilt in your voice when you see the corner of his lips rise at your sudden compliment. “You don’t fool me, Miss _____, Billboard’s Top Female Solo Artist of the Year, MAMA’s Best Rap Performance, Golden Disc Awards’ Best…”
“Okay, okay, you got me.” You giggle as Yoongi pulls you closer to meet your lips in a chaste kiss. “What’s wrong princess?” You state the obvious, pointing to your eyes which now probably had bags under them. “Can’t sleep,” you pout, slipping your hand underneath his shirt to give him a back rub as you snuggle to his chest.
“And what do you suppose we are to do about it?” Yoongi asks, chest rumbling as he speaks. You take your bottom lip between your teeth as you look up at him expectantly, giving him a knowing look.
Yoongi looks at you incredulously, the lack of rest still visible in his features. You instantly look away, guilt spreading across your chest. You internally scold yourself as you had to wake up your boyfriend for selfish reasons. Your boyfriend senses your sudden hesitance and places a finger under your chin, ordering you to look at him. “Hey, hey, look at me darling. Right here, right now? I’m gonna be honest with you, I don’t have the energy to-“
“Doesn’t matter, I’ll do all the work.”
“And Namjoon, who’s just a mere meter away?” His pitch lowers, voice now barely above a whisper. You nod shyly and Yoongi’s eyes darken at your unspoken offer.
“You’re a naughty little slut, aren’t you?” Yoongi hisses, placing his hands on your waist and lifting you easily to have your sit on his thighs, just below his crotch. “Wanting to fuck on a plane, while another member is sleeping right beside us?”
Placing your hands on Yoongi’s chest for support, you move your hips forward, grinding your crotch against your boyfriend’s. Yoongi pulls you forward by your arms, just enough that your face is merely centimeters away from him. Wasting no time, he presses his lips against yours, darting his tongue out to deepen the kiss. He expresses his desire to help you with your dilemma by thrusting upwards gently to join your gyrating hips.
You peek sideways to check on Namjoon and breathe a sigh of relief when he finally turns to the other side, back facing the both of you. 
You hastily discard your top and your bra in desperation, hands roaming all over your torso and eventually letting them end at your chest, fondling with your breasts and tweaking your nipples between your fingers. Not satisfied with your own ministrations, you guide Yoongi’s hands to your breasts, letting him squeeze them as he pleases beneath his open palms.
“God, you’re so fucking hot,” Yoongi murmurs, bending his knees to push himself upwards to make himself more comfortable. Yoongi quickly attaches his moist lips to one of your breasts, sucking at the supple flesh. You grind heavier against him in response and Yoongi takes this as an opportunity to fist a handful of your hair and tug sharply, baring your neck to him. 
You barely manage to hold in your whimpers when he sucks on a particularly sensitive spot on your neck, definitely leaving a purplish mark there that you’ll eventually have to cover up with foundation. Nothing you’ve never done before. “Remember that short dress you wore on stage last week with that dangerous cleavage?” You nod shakily, remembering the way Yoongi tried hard to not stare at you too long as one of his fansites might catch onto something. 
“Guess what baby? It’s payback time.” 
“For what?” You flutter your eyes innocently at him and you suddenly feel the temperature rise a few degrees with Yoongi’s intense stare. 
“You knew exactly what you were doing that night, naughty little tease.” Okay, maybe you did, and maybe you bit your lip in front of the camera at the exact moment you knew he was looking. Needless to say, he avoided your eyes for the rest of the evening during that particular awards show. 
He thrusts up harshly, his clothed hard-on grinding deliciously against your likewise covered cunt. “Mhmm, Yoongs… I- I wanna…” You don’t find the need to say anything else, just one look at the bulge inside his sweatpants was enough for him to understand.
“Yes please.” Yoongi sighs in contentment, raising his hips to help you remove his clothes. You include his boxers as you take his sweatpants off, cock slapping against his stomach as it springs free from the confines of his underwear.
Giggling excitedly, you hide beneath the covers, fitting yourself snugly between Yoongi’s legs. You take your time as you stare at his dick, long and girthy and curved just the right amount – always a tight fit inside your walls. You couldn’t wait for later when he’ll let you impale yourself on his cock as you ride him – the vivid picture makes you even wetter.
Building up his anticipation, you start placing kisses from his happy trail down to his groin, kneading his balls gently while you’re at it. Finding it difficult to communicate his feelings is one trait of Yoongi that definitely has its pros and cons. For one, people actually think Yoongi doesn’t care for others but it’s actually the complete opposite, but along with this, he gives the most genuine reactions, one which you are thankful for, especially during times like these.
Yoongi’s pretty responsive, and vocal at times when he’s really in the mood, and when you tentatively flick your tongue against his frenulum, the instantaneous quiver of Yoongi’s body has you reveling, giving yourself an imaginary pat on the back.
Momentarily leaving his red, angry shaft, you gently take his balls in your mouth, sucking on it, and gently massaging it with your tongue. “Quit the teasing, _______.” Being the good, obedient girl that you are, you comply immediately, paying attention to his dick this time.
You see his abdominals contract when you finally take him in your mouth, veiny hands grabbing at your temple to fist a handful of your hair. Inch by inch, you let his cock sink into your mouth, swallowing when he reaches the back of your throat. Yoongi hisses at the sensation, cursing to a throw pillow he’d taken from the seats.
Not wanting to agonize him any longer, you get to a pleasurable pace, bobbing your head up and down his length. Yoongi’s chest starts heaving and his grip on your hair tightens – the tell-tale signs of his impending orgasm. “Shit, baby…” Your boyfriend warns you that he’s about to cum, and you pull back a little, just to feel him release ropes of his cum inside your mouth.
Yoongi beckons you closer, weakly pulling at your arms to have you lie on his chest. He’s still panting when you get closer, “You, darling, are perfection personified.”
Slapping his chest lightly in jest, you reply, “You’re only saying that because I just gave you the best blowjob of your life.” Yoongi pulls his head back, facial features exaggeratedly contorted to fake being offended. “Okay first of all, you always do. And second, do you want me to get sappy and make a list what makes you the perfect woman ever?” He asks, letting two of his fingers dance on the bare skin of your belly, eventually leading southwards, “Or…I could just show you how much you mean to me by doing something else? Something you and I will both enjoy, hmm?”
Expressing your approval with a hum, Yoongi wastes no time, meeting your lips in a feverish kiss. Gasping at the sensation of his wet lips trailing all the way from your cheek, down to your jaw then your collarbones and onto the valley of your breasts, you squirm impatiently underneath your boyfriend.
“Patience, darling,” Yoongi chuckles, sending you a flirty wink as he gets down on you, teasingly pulling at the waistband of your shorts before removing them. His gaze darkens when he notices your underwear choice – a lacy red thong just for him. You’ve meant to have him remove it from you once you reach the hotel in Amsterdam, but doing it in a jet seems just as hot.
When he gets the thong off of you, he quickly pockets it inside his discarded sweatpants by the end of the bed. Getting back to his task at hand, you’re unable to control the gasp that escapes your lips when Yoongi brazenly flattens his tongue on your bare core.
Keeping your folds open with two fingers, he curls his tongue around your clit, thighs subconsciously squeezing his head in between because of the stimulation. With one hand, he keeps your legs spread open for him. Alternating between your clit and your entrance, Yoongi makes sure not a single region of your core is left out.
Wanting to put your limits to the test, your boyfriend tentatively slides a finger against your folds, the coldness of your couple ring on his digit making you quiver to the bone. He slowly slides a finger in, prepping your hole for what’s to come. You plead for one more, fully aware that your greedy little pussy isn’t contented with one. Yoongi complies with your request at once, pumping his digits inside of you and occasionally curling them inside. That familiar coil inside you tightens with every second, and with one particular curl of his digit and his mouth on your clit, you reach your high.
Your body trembles with the intensity of your orgasm, and Yoongi won’t stop just yet, still licking long stripes on your cunt. Your boyfriend stops abruptly and rises, resting all his weight on his arms as he crawls forward and lowers himself to whisper something in your ear. “He’s awake. You want me to do something about it?” 
Legs closing subconsciously while in thought, Yoongi gives you a few choices to ponder on. “We could pretend he’s not awake and get done with this, or…” Yoongi looks at you, carefully studying your facial reaction, “we could have another collaboration of some sort…” 
“It’s really up to you baby, I’m honestly okay with both.” 
You raise your eyebrows at his statement, never really taking Yoongi as the type to explore your deepest sexual fantasies. But then again, Yoongi has always been one to support you in everything, even with your kinks. Maybe the idea didn't surprise you as much as it should have considering the level of trust that came with living with someone for almost ten years already. 
Yoongi gently falls to your side for a moment as he lets you decide. “You know, Namjoon used to have a crush on you,” your boyfriend informs, twirling a loose strand of your hair around his finger. Now that was a surprise. “He did?” 
“Mhmm. At one point, he even had you as his phone wallpaper when you released your second single.” 
“Oh really?” 
“Yeah, I really don’t mind if you wanted to indulge him, you know, as an early birthday present? We actually had this kind of conversation a few years back and honestly, we’re both willing to try a threesome… what better way to do it with a person you trust right?” 
The bluntness of his words catches you off guard - several trains of thoughts scattered throughout your brain. Namjoon had a crush on you? Birthday present? Threesome? How did you even get in this situation in the first place? Yoongi shifts a little as you continue contemplating, then you take notice of Yoongi’s bare lower half, cock still stiff and upright. Shit! 
“You’re still hard,” you comment lamely, staring at his dick. “I know, and I’d greatly appreciate it if you tell me your decision quickly…” 
You look at him again, checking if there is the slightest hint of uncertainty in his eyes. When you see none, you ask him again, “You’re really sure you’re okay with that?” 
“Of course, as long as you’re comfortable with the idea. Honestly, I’m willing to have it any way because we still have a very pressing problem,” Yoongi points to his crotch, “and honestly, I think Namjoon is too. There’s nothing more that can turn a man on other than a woman’s moans,” he shrugs. 
You want to laugh at Yoongi being totally nonchalant about this whole situation, but if you’d listen to your gut feeling, you’re sensing it’s Yoongi’s outstanding self-control that has him so calm and collected about this proposal. 
Once you tell your boyfriend of your approval, he calls Namjoon at once. When the younger man won’t budge, you look at Yoongi who just shakes his head at you with a playful smirk on his face. He points at you then back to Namjoon, gesturing you to do the talking. 
You gulp before saying a short plea to the heavens above. Surely, they’re bound to hear you better since you’re already in the sky right? “Joonie, darling, it’s okay to look. We don’t mind.” You cringe at the tone of your voice, surprised at how convincing you sounded while you were having an inner turmoil. 
When you see Namjoon’s head raise a little, you subconsciously bite your lip in anticipation. Wanting nothing more than to see what he has to say about this. Yoongi probably senses his hesitation so he starts to speak, “It’s okay, she’s covered with a blanket.”
“But you’re not!” Yoongi juts his head forward, a grim look on his face. “As if you haven’t seen me naked before!” 
“That’s different! T-This is a completely different situation.” 
“Listen to me you kinky ass motherfucker, I just know you’re hard. I am too, and you know damn well it’s painful and uncomfortable. So, unless you want me to fuck her while you’re watching or pretending to be asleep, I suggest you take your clothes off and come here.” 
“Are you both sure you’re okay with this?” 
“Didn’t you just hear our conversation a while ago? I mean your bed is just a meter away.” 
“I know, I heard,” Namjoon says, hands already at the hem of his hoodie, then instantaneously looks at the older one dead in the eye, “But, hyung, did you really have to call me out like that?! The whole crush thing and the wallpaper - jeez!” 
Namjoon takes his phone out of his hoodie first, placing it by the window, then removing the rest of the clothes he has on quickly under your heated gaze.
“Try having a conversation while you’re hard,” Yoongi mutters, rolling his eyes. Yoongi scoots closer to you when Namjoon moves forward, standing with only his boxers left on. Your mouth waters at the outline of his straining bulge while Yoongi clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth.
“Why don't you show your Joonie what that mouth can do?” 
The tall man makes a sound between a cough and a groan, and you lie on your stomach, crawling a little bit closer to come face to face with Namjoon’s crotch. You just know he’s longer than Yoongi judging from what you’re seeing, but Yoongi’s definitely girthier and fuck - the thought alone is enough for you to come undone, completely untouched. 
Namjoon shivers lightly when you trace a finger along the length of his boner, placing a light kiss atop his cloth boxers. Impatiently, you hook a finger on the waistband of his Versace boxers. Holy fuck - you send another prayer to their hard stans, wishing them an equally intense life inside the bedroom.
His cock springs free, and you scoot closer, wanting to have a better look at his pretty dick. You get into action quickly, hand wrapping around the base of his cock. You place a kiss on the leaking head, before licking a wet stripe along the length of his shaft. 
You get more confident when Namjoon inhales sharply at the simple action. A few more licks and you decide to finally take him in his mouth, gradually moving lower until you have at least a third of him in your mouth. Namjoon sighs, fingers carding through your hair as you pull your mouth off him with a pop. Once more, you sink down, shallow and easy as you tease the younger man. 
The grip on your hair eventually tightens, goading you on and encouraging you to go deeper. Namjoon becomes more vocal when you pick up the pace, and when you go down all the way to the hilt, you pause for a moment, then swallow. “Holy fuck!” Namjoon cries out, head lolling backwards in pleasure. “God, I wish I had a girlfriend too.” Yoongi chuckles from behind you and you almost forgot he was there too with Namjoon’s pretty length keeping you preoccupied. 
Yoongi praises you and calls you a good girl. Beaming at your boyfriend, he tells you to continue giving Namjoon the blow of his life. Under Yoongi’s compliments, you work harder, ignoring the slight burn in your jaw. Namjoon starts bucking his hips, desperately chasing his high in your mouth. As you feel that coil slowly forming in the pit of your stomach, you gather some of the blankets between your thighs, bunching them up against your cunt so you have something to shamelessly grind your folds with. 
Namjoon’s breathing gets strained, and you feel a tap on your leg, causing you to momentarily stop with Namjoon. Yoongi says nothing as he tells you to flip over. Settling your weight on your elbows, you watch Yoongi hand Namjoon a silver packet. “You really think you won’t get caught wetting the sheets babe? You’re not the only who gets to have fun here.” 
He peppers a few kisses on your things before placing a hand between, spreading your legs open. “What are you waiting for, princess? Wanna leave Namjoon hanging just like that?” Unsure of what he has in mind, Namjoon helps you guide his shaft back to your mouth. As Namjoon returns to a rhythmic pace inside your mouth, you feel Yoongi settling himself between your legs. Good lord, was this really about to happen? 
Your back arches when Yoongi starts with light vertical licks from the bottom to top. You feel his hand trail upwards, gently caressing your breasts. You’re mewling by the time Namjoon increases his pace, and Yoongi starts and toying with your clit mercilessly. 
The feeling gets too much when Yoongi sucks on your nether bud, then proceeds to tease your rim a little, using your essence to slowly ease a ringed finger inside your hole. Namjoon hisses with your every moan, the vibrations coming from your throat an added blessing to having fucked your mouth. 
From your view, you see Namjoon’s balls tighten and seconds later thick ropes of cum slide down your throat and you swallow before pulling back and licking your lips. Not wanting to be left out of the fun, Yoongi, once more, asserts his dominance, ordering you to get on your knees. 
You feel your heart hammering against your ribcage in exhilaration, secretly hoping that this will finally be the day your deepest fantasies will come to life. Yoongi scoots over a little to lie horizontally on the bed. He calls you over, index finger curved like a hook to beckon you to ride him.  
You move over to him in shaky legs, hooking a leg over his body to straddle his hips. “No, no, not facing me…” Yoongi waves his hand as he helps you up. “Facing him,” your boyfriend points to Namjoon whose mouth falls open in shock. Yoongi rips a packet open and rolls a condom onto his shaft.
“Hyung…” This was plain torture.
“I thought this was supposed to be an early birthday present for me?” Namjoon mumbles, scratching his neck with the small silver packaging between his fingers. “I know. But great things never came easy right?” Namjoon visibly deflates at the older rapper’s words. He had a point yes, but some points weren’t supposed to be applicable to all fields of life…
Not wanting to prolong your waiting any longer, you lower yourself onto Yoongi’s cock, inch by inch until he’s fully seated inside your warm, velvety walls. Your head falls back at the feeling of his cock inside you. Every time feels like the first.
Once you feel you’ve adjusted enough to Yoongi, you stabilize yourself on Yoongi’s thighs, sliding up until it’s only his head left inside before sliding back down. Your thighs get tired after a while, and Yoongi helps you by gripping your hips and thrusting upwards. As you move up and down and grind back and forth in circles, Yoongi calls Namjoon over just before you reach another climax.
“It’s about time you join the fun here, no? Joonie?” Yoongi playfully mocks the taller man, using your nickname for Namjoon to rile him up even further. You whine when Yoongi pulls out for a moment, closing your eyes as he places a quick kiss on your shoulder 
You hear the ripping of a packaging and as you open your eyes, you see Namjoon near you until his thighs are hitting the edge of the bed. You let out a wanton moan when you feel Yoongi prodding his cock against your other hole, shallowly dipping the head in then pulling out. He repeats the action until he deems you’re ready, the slowly lowers you down onto his length.
“Namjoon…” Yoongi says breathily, having difficulty with his self-control with your rim having a vice-like grip on his cock. The other man in front of you doesn’t need to be told twice, slapping his dick against your folds. The action sends lewd sounds resonating throughout the small room, which only sends a jolt of pleasure down your spine.
Namjoon rests one of his knees on the bed, lowering himself onto your cunt. “Noona, you’re so wet. Fuck… I could just…” Namjoon finally pushes himself inside, “easily slide right in…” he lets out a deep exhale once he’s balls deep inside you.
You’re not doing any better than any of the men, thinking you could just orgasm from the fullness alone. And much to your surprise, you do. And both men keep their hands on you as you tremble like a falling leaf in autumn. “Holy shit!” Namjoon explains, staring at you with his mouth open. Once you stop quivering, they both ask you if you were still okay, and you take a breather before answering them, “I’m good. Just… nothing great ever came easy, right?”
You can practically feel Yoongi smiling from behind you. “That’s my girl.”
“Can I?” Namjoon asks, looking down to where your bodies are connected. You nod once, and Namjoon and your boyfriend start thrusting into you alternately. It doesn’t take long before you reach your climax again, with a ton of help from Namjoon who toys with your clit while snapping his hips into you.
They reach their orgasms not long afterwards. You let them ride out their highs until their cocks gradually turn softer inside you. Feeling spent and immensely satiated, you fall over to Yoongi’s side, falling asleep in mere seconds.
The two rappers collapse onto the bed, but sit abruptly sit upright when they hear a very familiar voice coming from Namjoon’s phone. “Fucking hell! That was the hottest shit ever!” Hoseok exclaims from the screen.
“You called him?!” Yoongi asks, hitting Namjoon’s forearm. “No! I- I must’ve contacted him while I put my phone there…crap.” Namjoon looked completely bewildered.
“Hyung, can I come to Amsterdam too? Please?!”
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© hhyungz 2020
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back2themax · 3 years
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Karate kid part II review -
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So this movie is…. Decent? Like it’s not bad but it’s  definitely not as good as the orignal. I don’t any sequel can do that. However I think it did have genuinely great moments that make it worth a watch, even if it drags in certain places. As they really chose to me romantic subplots more major plots in this movie, and that’s where it really tends to drag.
The good-
One of the highlights of this movie is that Daniel and Mr.Miyagi don’t suffer from the usual slump of sequels, typically the charecter’s will be written out of charecter , their potential wasted and so on. However they are just ss strong as the first movie. They’re  characters remain intact and their relationship, if anything is stronger! They both still get some really good lines in too. I think this is mainly do to it being a trilogy, it’s three parts to one story. Not all disjointed trying to recapture something
I like how it takes place literally directly after he wins the  tournament. It allows to see a aftermath thag most properties will just gloss over. I also love that Daniel is shuffling? Basically dragging his leg in a way, I do think it healed but I think it’d be a cool detail If he just… had a weird walk ever since? Also allows for Kreese to be even more of a manic?
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He’s very “don’t you see?! Don’t you get it? IM THE REAL VICTIM HERE” *Currently choking a 17 year old to death*
Also Mr. Miyagi just honking his nose will never not be funny to me.
I love that it’s implied Daniel will come over purely to bitch, he just kicks in the door YOU WILL NOT BELLLLIEVE THE DAY IVE HAD. Also forever living for the very very 80s prom suit. However kinda weirded out? The moment is hysterical but it feels very unlike Ali?
“How come every time I feel bad you got work for me to do?” “Cosmic  coincidence”
A refugee from Fresno 💕 the fact that not only was he going to let Daniel stay for the summer but that he would get his own full on little guest house?!
Both Daniels “your more important then anything to me” speech and his one about his dad?
“Dunno, never been attacked by tree”
“How new?” “About ten seconds
“Focus” “alright, what are you gonna do?” “Pray”
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seriously there’s some great lines in here
I like how the movie is really one mainly for charecter development and their bond? To learn way more about Mr.Miyagi and some good general wisdom as always. It also further establishes Daniel as genuinely being just a good kid, sure he’s stupid sometimes(which he  acknowledges) but he usually means good. I love that.
The meh-
When I tell you how fucking frustrating Sato and his  nephew are? Just hard headed people in general. Do not get me wrong, he does serve as a great antagonist when it comes thing things ramping up and ramping up and ramping up but he’s so one track it’s kinda hard to redeem him? Like he just turns around “I’m good now :)” ??? Idk I would have liked one more scene.
Are we completely ignoring His wife from the first movie? That he did marry at all (it seams much more focused on if SHE did or not). Like don’t get me wrong it’s a interesting plot point but I feel it sort of takes away from the point made in the orignal about his wife and son. Daniel is the son he never got to have. Now they do at least, in this movie, very much play on to how Mr.Miyagi is very much a father figure to Daniel and I love that.
Also the love side plot is more THE plot… which the scenes are still adorable but at least in the first one their scenes would be spaced out with SOMETHING going on besides a guy coming around and wrecking things every once and awhile. There was a bunch to potential that they really went no where with, like again there’s so many great scenes with Daniel and Mr. Miyagi even Kumiko but they needed- something to happen.
I said it before but to much Kid not enough karate. Again I was mostly fine with this NOT being about training or them fighting, as that’s not really the point or  principles Miyagi teaches- because it’s learn so you don’t HAVE to fight. Defense only. But I want- something to happen, they are give 3 days, which is WAY less then 2 months and somehow it feels longer. I’m not needing a fast paced movie Im not needing drawn out fight scenes just- a bit more then shoving THIS HUGE STORM AND A FIGHT INTO THE LAST TEN FUCKING MINUTES? These two things should be huge points in the movie but they are instead literally shoved in last minute. Im not kidding his fight is the last 8 minutes of the film, 5 of which are him absolutely getting his ass kicked. Which, again I would not mind if there was more then one fight and it happened in the first? Idk it just- it felt like it was a afterthought “oh oh yeah karate uhhhhhhhh the nephew comes back for revenge!” It’s just not it 😔
Great potential but a lot of it was underutilized , good interactions and strong charecters really save the movie
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hiimsociallyawkward · 3 years
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Dear Lara Jean,
HI. so i watched TATBILB: A&F a few weeks ago, and I have some words. Before I begin, i'd like to preface that i'm literally 17 and have no film experience, and that I've read this book once maybe 4 years ago but here it is.
ps. if you haven't gotten it already: there will be spoilers. Heavy spoilers.
first of all, i'm sorry but i really didn't like the little edit things. Maybe I've reached that point in my life where I don't f with that anymore. Like when theres a drawn house and it slowly fades so it's real life?? no thanks
the music choice... I honestly didn't have that big of a problem with it, but my korean friend kept going "wtf is this music choice" so i'm quoting her on that.
the filming and editing. well maybe it's just me but I didn't really like it. yk when you're watching a youtuber and they do those zoom in things and it's sort of fast and funny? I think there were a few times the movie did that and i didn't like it.
literally, lara jean looking directly into the camera?? it feels like it's breaking the 4th wall and maybe they're doing it to be edgy but no thanks i didn't like that either.
WHY???? Her breaking the 4th wall added NOTHING to the movie. It just took me out of the experience. I especially didn’t like it when they did it in PS I still love you when they temporarily broke up.
THEY SET THE MOVIE IN OREGON. WHAT WAS THE REASON. THE BOOK WAS SET IN VA, AND I LIVE IN VA SO I FELT A CONNECTION TO THE BOOK. AND THEN THEY GO AND SET IT IN OREGON. WHAT. WAS. THE. REASON
OREGON DIDN’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING WITH THE COLLEGES. THEY’RE STILL PRETTY FAR AWAY FROM STANFORD. IN THE BOOK, UVA WAS CLOSE BY SO LJ WOULDN’T HAVE TO BE TOO FAR AWAY FROM HOME. NO OFFENSE TO THE STATE BUT WHY OREGON. THEY COULD OF PUT THEM IN CALI AT LEAST
ONE OF THE REASONS WHY LJ WANTED TO GO TO UVA IS BECAUSE HER FAMILY WOULD BE CLOSE BY. BY PUTTING THEM IN OREGON, YOU TAKE AWAY THAT REASON. i just want to 👊 whoever’s idea this was
FURTHERMORE: THEY CHANGED UVA AND UNC TO STANFORD AND NYU. I AM INFURIATED. THE WHOLE POINT WAS THAT THEY WANTED TO GO TO UVA BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE 10 MINS FROM WHERE THEY LIVED AND IT'S A STATE SCHOOL. LARA JEAN FELT LIKE THE WAS GAURANTEED TO GO TO UVA AND WHEN SHE DOESNT, IT ACTUALLY HURTS THE READERS.
in the book, LJ was waitlisted from UNC, rejected from UVA, and accepted to W&M. I’m sure you can find like 40 people at our school who can relate to this situation. I doubt 40 people in our school can relate to being rejected from Stanford BUT accepted to NYU. dear writers, please give teens across the nation (your target audience) realistic expectations for college admissions.
YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT PETER AND LARA JEAN WERE ACTUALLY QUALFIED ENOUGH FOR STANFORD. LEMME JUST SAY, I'VE APPLIED FOR COLLEGES THIS YEAR AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD GRASP ON WHAT IT TAKES TO GET INTO CERTAIN COLLEGES. YOU'RE TELLING ME THE TWO OF THEM. REALLY. GOT. INTO. THOSE. SCHOOLS. pls.
DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE KISSING BOOTH. ELLE AND NOAH ARE POSSIBLY THE DUMBEST CHARACTERS I HAVE EVER WATCHED. I DON’T SEE THEM DO A PAGE OF HOMEWORK AND I DON’T EVEN THINK THEY ATTEND CLASS. LIKE MAKING A KISSING BOOTH FOR ONE FUNDRAISER FOR A CLUB THAT CONSISTS OF 2 PEOPLE DOES NOT COUNT AS ENOUGH TO GET INTO HARVARD. but that’s a different movie...
this is literally the idea that television and movies have in making it super easy to get into ivy leauges. as if some in state college isn't up to society's standards of where or where not it's ok to go to college. it's when gabriella montez goes to stanford, troy goes to berkely, ryan evan goes to julliard, teddy duncan goes to yale, cody martin is accepted to princeton, HANNAH MONTANA does to stanford.
and lara jean wants to study english lit. she never says “i want to go to stanford because of their great english lit program”. it’s only “i want to go to stanford because my boyfriend is going and i have no other life outside of him
fine. make your characters seem awesome by making them go to awesome colleges. but still. this is upseting.
you know how awesome it is to hear UVA, the college I've always wanted to go to, in a published book? and for them to just rip it away- espeically when UVA is so attainable?? Yea yea movie directors, i get it, UVA isn't good enough for you. whatever.
They had AT LEAST 5 MONTAGES. 5. FIVE. WHO NEEDS THAT MANY MONTAGES. To quote my friend "the movie is all montage and 30 mins of plot" AND I CAN'T FIND IT IN MYSELF TO DISAGREE WITH HER.
AND THE DANCES. I REALLY DIDN’T NEED TO SEE NOAH CENTINEO DO WHATEVER HE CALLS “DANCING” IN 2 MONTAGES. I know everyone fell in love with noah in the first movie, but i’m pretty sure everyone fell out of love with him in this one.
again, i know nothing about movies, but 5 montages?? it seems like you're just filling space and trying to make everything seem ✨awesome✨ and ✨amazing✨. SURE. everything might be awesome and amazing, but this movie was 1 HR AND 55 MINS. and you decided to add 1 HR of montages? WHy. AND. one of them was in slowmo. i can't
THEY HAD VOICE OVERS THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE MOVIE. sure. 1 at the begin and 1 at the end, I think that's cute. BUT THE WHOLE MOVIE?? WHY. like bruh- have a focus.
literally did anyone read the freaking book? Remember how- in the book right? Margot was actually really not ok with Trina bc she's sort of replacing their mom? and Margot is rlly not ok with it but gets over it?? see how that was summarized in like 5 seconds in the movie? Oh i'm sorry you used all your time for the movie making STUPID MONTAGES but can we get some actually emotionally beats next time?? thanks.
ok this is a big problem i have with the movie. in the 3rd book, peter tries to have a relationship with his dad who ran away from him years ago. He struggles with that relationship the whole book. This is good stuff. people can relate to this. the scene in the diner where peter “confronts” his dad was CRINGEY. It could be noah’s acting but i couldn’t take him seriously. AND HE FORGIVES HIS DAD AFTER 30 SECONDS. the movie tries to include these smaller storylines but can’t because of the time limit. i’m no screenwriter, but i’m sure there could have been a way to subtly move that plot line during the entire movie rather than that one conversation in the diner
and in the book, peter has to train for lacrosse so he has to eat healthy which stresses him out. i specifically remember him getting mad at someone (maybe it was john ambrose, i don’t remember fully) for EATING HIS CARROTS. this just shows that peter has a life too. he has to worry about lacrosse along with losing lj. but no, the movie makes him look like the perfect boyfriend who has no other worries in life except for the girl in front of him
remember how- in the book (right?? bc they had a book to go off of???) Stormy was a part of the 3rd book? like a BIG part?? They LITEALLY just used her as John Ambrose's grandmother (WHICH IM PRETTY SURE THEY DIDN'T EVEN DO IN THE MOVIES). literally, stormy and john ambrose were throw away characters in the second movie and i am infurriated. BUT ALSO I LOVE JOHN AMBROSE HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO HIM??
and remember, how in the book, how the dog's name is "Jamie Fox-Pickle" and they changed it to HENRY??? where is the flavor. what was the reason. SERIOUSLY.
BUT ALSO. CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG BUT THERE WAS A POINT IN THE PLOT WHERE PETER'S MOM TOLD LARA JEAN TO BREAK UP WITH PETER. DOES NO ONE ELSE REMEBER THAT?? AND THEY CUT IT ALL OUT OF THE SCRIPT?? LIKE WHY. WHAT WAS THE REASON.
ok those are my biggest book grievances I think. but lemme just say, they NEVER went to NEW YORK. They literally wrote that in for the purposes of NYU. in the book, Chris and Lara Jean DRIVE to UNC because that's ATTAINABLE. BC THEY'RE STATE UNIVERSITIES. ANYWAYS
LJ’s and Chris’s spontaneous trip to unc showed their friendship in a good way. I never really liked chris as a friend to lj but during the trip, they are besties and it shows. the movie tries to do that in ny but peter is also in ny for some reason. she should have fell in love with ny WITHOUT peter at her side nagging her to sneak out and go on a date. she should have spent more time with chris rather than thinking about peter while she was watching the band.
the scene where Lara Jean is in New York and at the party and she sees the band? To all the boys I've loved before: Always and forever?? more like To all the boys I've loved before: gay awakening time.
when they moved the pink couch to the subway? WHy? They wanted snazzy pics.
when Lara Jean and Peter were making up and it was a really cute sequence AND THEN THEY MADE HER LOSE HER V CARD. FINE. I GET HOW THAT'S REALISTIC BUT IT WAS A CUTE SCENE. MY FRIEND ALMOST STARTED CRYING AND THEN LJ LOST HER V CARD AND WE COULDN'T STOP SCREAMING.
this is different from what was in the book (for the 100th time). In the book, they don’t do it and it shows that you can be in a high school relationship without being physical. I strongly appreciate that message. This darn movie had to have her lose her v card. WHY. IT ADDED NOTHING TO THEIR RELATIONSHIP. THE YEARBOOK SIGNING WAS SYMBOLIC ENOUGH
the montage where it's a montage of all of lara jean's and peter's cute moments?? ok fine. that was cute. but they literally just took scenes from past movies. imagine the impact if we like hidden moments from their relationships. maybe they're laughing in the car together. maybe they're watching they sunset. maybe peter is looking at her lovingly while she sleeps. WHAT IF. it WASN'T a montage of all the "bigger" moments of their relationship, and we got to see them just exist.
UGH. THE VOICE OVER AT THE END OF THE MOVIE IS SO CRINGEY I CAN'T
"WE AREN'T LIKE OTHER COUPLES. NOT US, LARA JEAN AND PETER KAVINSKY. BECAUSE WE HAVE SOMETHING BETWEEN US. WRITING LOVE LETTERS" please. b freaking s
Some redeemable qualities
while i didn't like most of the songs, "like me better" by lauv will always be loved. especially since it's a call back from the first movie?? I can ftw
WHY WASN’T “LIKE ME BETTER” THEIR SONG???? I really thought it was a good song to be their song and they referenced it in the beginning. No offense to the “beginning middle and end” people, but i felt no attachment to that song.
they customized her phone. it looked like it was a 7 (idk rlly, i don't know crap abt iphones) but they customized it. Granted, I KNOW lara jean would be the one with the aesthetic background with color coded folder, but still- they did give her relevant apps. some to note include; tiktok, spotify, instagram, netflix, notes, messages, facetime, maps, whatsapp and the STANFORD APP?? whatever- i'm chill.
they did make lara jean make choices so that was good.
the prom ask?? That was cute. with the pancakes??
at the end when Peter played the song even though earlier he didn't like it?? I liked that. i liked that a lot. ok fine i more than liked that a lot. There are multiple texts where my friends are screaming at each other. In fact, 26 separate messages.
chris in general. granted, she was more present in the books, but i'll take what i can get.
some notable quotes by her, the queen
"I'm dead inside"
not wanting to do a gigantic walk down from the stairs and asking the boys not to turn around
peter said he liked lara jean's forehead kisses and that reminded me of emma chamberlain so that's a positive only bc of emma
I remembered that they were the class of 2021, and I'M class of 2021 and it just hit for a second.
my friend cried over their graduation but i felt nothing bc we're literally living in a pandemic and chances of me getting a real graduation?? we'll see
again, these are all just my opinion. my friend doesn't like the movie bc she says she's sad and bitter and seeing these cute couples makes her feel lonely but i'm just diappointed. the books were GOOD. they were gold.
there was so much they could’ve done with the movies, and i just feel like they didn’t deliver on anything. Jenny Han, i’m sorry. The movie overall, ik someone who cried about it and someone else who gave it 7/10. props for them but jeez i just wish for more.
ok but that’s the show folk. i mean, obviously everything i said was opinion and literally don’t listen to anything i’ve said. BUT. feel free to add what you hated or loved abt the movie too. thanks. i love you guys. “always and forever” :,)
p.s- omg not them ripping off taylor swift. jk jk. ok bye
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illfoandillfie · 4 years
Text
5 Simple Rules For A Successful Fake Relationship: Picture Perfect
5 SIMPLE RULES MASTERLIST
Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader
Summery:  A whole day with Ben's family and no way to escape. How will you survive? And will any rules be left intact by the end of the night?
Warnings: SMUT (finally lmao), nothing like super kinky but it is explicit, plus the usual stuff,  drinking, mention of smoking.
Words: 6284
A/N: ARE YA'LL READY FOR THIS? smut scene is marked with a *** so you can skip it if you like.
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Taglist:  @laedymoon  @dtfrogertaylor  @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor  @hannafuckingsucks  @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @supersonicfreddie @tenement-funstah @taron-egrotten @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @thefairyfellersmasterstroke @queenlover05
@coni-martina @hardforbenhardy @cubedtriangle @vicouscirce @arianabrashierstuff @pattieboydwannabe @maggieroseevans @theprettyandthereckless @im-an-adult-ish​
A week later you were in the passenger seat of Ben’s car, your bags in the back, watching the scenery pass by. You found your eyes drawn to him more often than usual but he didn’t seem to notice. Maybe it was that he was so focused on the road and the traffic around you or maybe it was because you were playing I spy and a few glances from the person who’d spied the object were expected. I spy was a good game. Distracting enough to focus your mind on something other than wanting Ben. For the most part at least. “And we can definitely still see it?” “Yuuuuuuup,” you popped the ‘p’ and glanced over at Ben again. “And it starts with ‘M’ but isn’t ‘Mazda’ like what’s driving behind us, or Mars Bar like what I was just eating?”” “Nope,” you popped the p again and laughed, “d’you want a clue?” “Go on then, otherwise we’ll be stuck like this all day,” “We’ve been following them since we got on the motorway,” Ben’s forehead creased as he thought about your clue, “Truck doesn’t start with ‘M’,” “Clever boy. You deserve a gold star for that one,” “Bite me,” You laughed and gave in to the temptation to look at him again, noting the crease of his forehead as he thought about your clue, “Should I just tell you?” “Fine, I’m never going to get it at this rate,” “I spy with my little eye a mudflap girl. Two of them actually,” “What the fuck is a mudflap girl?” You pointed at the silhouette on the tuck’s mudflaps, “Her. The chick with the stupidly pinched in waist and big knockers.” “Is that what they’re called?” “What knockers?” “No, I’m perfectly familiar with those,” Ben laughed and you whistled teasingly, willing your mind to stop picturing what it was picturing “Shush, I meant the mudflap girls, is that what they’re called?” “Yeah. You didn’t know?” He shook his head slightly, “Never really came up.” “Sorry, would have picked something else if I’d realised,” “‘s fine. Just means I won’t hold back with the next one.” You’d been a little nervous at the prospect of driving hours with just Ben for company, still coming to grips with the fact you wanted to knock boots with him. You couldn’t even think about it in direct language, just roundabout phrases your mum used to use. But, thankfully, all your concerns had disappeared the moment you got into the car, infected by Ben’s bright smile and insistence that he’d make it fun. His definition of fun was a lot of classic driving games, hence the I Spy, plenty of road trip snacks, and a healthy dose of a specially curated driving playlist. You’d made fun of him for including I’m In Love With My Car on it but he just turned it up louder and sang it at you which only made you laugh more. It stopped any awkwardness or uncomfortable silences in their tracks. But all the laughter and playful teasing was just another reminder of how close you were and that made you think about how badly you wanted to do the dirty with him, hear him whining your name, feel his hands all over you, cuddle up with him and doze as he read to you. You shook your head as the third image sprang to the forefront of your mind. That wasn’t right. Bumping uglies was one thing but dozing was out of the question. Unless it was in a post-coital come down of course. Not that any of it mattered since you weren’t going to act on it. Joe had made it very clear that something actually happening was a bad idea. Although, looking at Ben now he didn’t seem to be that bad off. Certainly not white knuckling it as Joe had said. He was happy and bubbly and you couldn’t see a single sign of him falling apart. What did Joe know anyway? He lived so far away, how could he possibly know what was good for Ben or, for that matter, you.
Halfway there you found a place to pull up so you could stretch your legs and refresh your snacks but then it was back into the car for the second leg of the trip, winding through the traffic until it thinned out and you pulled up outside a nice white house with a tidy yard. “This is it?” you asked, the nerves back in full force. “Yeah, you good?” You just nodded your head but Ben gave your hand a reassuring squeeze, “Remember the plan, yeah? Hold hands as much as we can, look as loved up as possible, just like what we do for the cameras. What’s our story?” “Met at the audition for Edith since you’d already been cast. Hung out a lot as prep for the movie. You asked me out a couple of days before filming began and we dated secretly for a while but then, partway through filming, we were caught by paparazzi and decided to be open about it.” “Very good. What el- shit, no time for the rest of the pop quiz, the front door just opened.” “It’s okay, I’m good. We’ve been doing this for months now, it’s just more of the same.” Ben nodded and then let your hand go so he could get out of the car. You opened your door and stepped out, smoothing out your skirt, your hand cold outside of Ben’s grasp. But he fixed the problem, taking your hand again as he led you towards the front door and the person who’d come out onto the driveway. He squeezed your hand again. “Hi mum. This is Y/N,” “Well it’s about time,” his mum said, already stepping forward to hug you, forcing you to drop Ben’s hand “lovely to meet you, darling.” “Pleasure to meet you too Mrs Jones,” you smiled politely as she stepped back. “Oh, Angela, please,” her hands were still on your shoulders as she examined your appearance, “Gosh aren’t you pretty.” You managed to stutter out a thank you, suddenly feeling much more shy than you normally would have. “Oh c’mon mum, let her go.” “I’m just saying she’s beautiful, what’s wrong with that?” but her hands fell from you as she turned her attention to Ben, “I still think you’re very handsome too Ben. Need a bit of a haircut though.” He rolled his eyes but hugged her all the same. “Mikey’s already there setting up with your father and I expect you’ll be giving him a hand soon?” “Can I not have five minutes out of the car before I get piled up with chores?” Ben whined as you both followed her inside.
She led you on a brief tour of the house, pointing out where the bathrooms were and coming to an end at Ben’s old room where you’d be staying. She promised you enough time to grab your bags and freshen up before you’d be asked to help and then she headed back towards the front of the house. You peeked inside the bedroom door hoping to see what teenage Ben’s sense of style was but it had since been redecorated. “Don’t look so disappointed,” Ben laughed, “Mum had the whole house redone a few years ago and it didn’t make sense to keep my room how it was.” “Please tell me there’s photos here somewhere,” “Probably but you’re not seeing them,” “You have to tell me something, I’m your girlfriend and I need to know.” “Fuck off, you do not,” “Please?” you extended the word in a childish whine, pouting at him until he broke. “What d’you want to know then?” “What’d you have on your walls? Band posters?” Ben laughed, “Uhhh, a few sports things – my favourite teams and that. Some girls with big tits leaning all over cars…Couple of theatre posters too,” “Nerd,” “Shut up,” he laughed again, pushing against your shoulder, “Sorry about Mum by the way,” “It’s totally fine,” “I promise it’ll all be over soon,” You were taken aback as he wrapped you up in a tight hug but very happily relaxed against him. Carefully, so as not to break the moment you looked up at him only to find him looking back at you. It was the closest you’d been since the almost-kiss in the hotel. Sure, you’d been close, even hugged before, but not in this long, lingering way and even then, it was mostly just in public. A sharp knock at the door made you break apart. “Sorry to rush you but Mikey’s just called asking after you. Better get a move on,” “Who’s Mikey?” you asked, refusing to acknowledge the tension in the air. “My brother, Michael. S’pose we should crack on. You’ve got about twelve bags to pull from the car.” “Fuck off, it’s only two and one of them’s a hand bag. Plus, it’s you’re fault for not being more specific about dress code.” You hadn’t known exactly what to pack and got no clear answer when you’d asked, so you’d packed a few different outfit options, from casual jeans and a nice blouse to a slightly more fancy little black dress, the clutch you’d taken to the French restaurant packed with it in case you needed a stylish purse. “You’re such a drama queen. Just help me with them yeah?”
You would have known he was Ben’s brother even before you’d heard about him. His face was thinner and his shoulders less broad but they had the same smile, same eyes. He was lovely too, jumped down off a chair and dropped the coil of fairy lights he’d been holding so he could shake your hand and introduce himself. Then came their dad, maybe not quite as warm as their mum but just as welcoming. Both you and Ben were handed lengths of lights and sent off to find places to hang them. Inside it wasn’t necessary since the restaurant was already lit up, staff busting about making sure everything was ready for that afternoon. So Ben led you away from the big open door, into the beer garden. It was mostly paved, small shoots of grass sprouting up through the bricks, though there was also a large strip of grass at the very end of the yard. Ben’s brother and dad were on one side of the yard, securing their lights to the fence so you and Ben headed straight for the grassy end where the light of the restaurant wouldn’t quite reach. “Wait here a sec,” Ben said, handing you his coil of lights and turning back towards the paved area. You watched as he dragged on of the sturdy wooden tables over to you. At the first scrape of the wood on the brick he looked inside to see if anyone was going to go mad at him but, aside from his family members, no one noticed. When he finally got it in position, he climbed up onto the table and held out his hand for the lights. You kept lookout as he wound the wire around a tree branch and then jumped down again, handing the end of the lights to you so you could wrap it around the tree trunk and secure the battery pack out of harm’s way, as he pushed the table back into place. It wasn’t long before the yard was covered with lights extending from the doorway all the way to the fence that blocked the yard from the road. Of course, all that work meant you deserved a drink so, by the time Ben’s mum and other family members began arriving in the late afternoon, you were already halfway through your first glass. Ben gave you a running commentary of everyone who walked into the restaurant. “That’s my cousin and her daughter. And the couple behind her are my,” he thought for a moment, “Well let’s call them cousin’s too because I don’t know how seconds and removals work. The bald guy over there talking to Mum is my great uncle. And the woman who just waved is an Aunt. Whatever you do, don’t mention her son. He’s had a run in with the law and it’s a touchy subject.” “Noted. But shit, when you said family get together you really meant it,” “Yeah,” Ben laughed, “The Jones’ don’t do things by halves. ‘Specially not when there’s drinking involved.”
As the place began to fill Ben took you around to meet people. You felt a little like the ball in a pinball machine, bouncing from one person to another, introducing yourself and then moving on to someone else, almost immediately forgetting any names you’d just been told. It was almost like doing interviews again except with more movement and more alcohol. Ben kept a hold of you, either interlocking his fingers with yours or else wrapping his arm around your waist, keeping you close to his side, only letting you go to grab you another drink or light up a cigarette. At one point you had a small crowd gathered beside you, all pointing out things they’d seen in magazines or on the internet about you, all wanting to hear about how you met. Thankfully you’d become quite practiced at telling the story. “We met at the audition actually,” Ben said, “I had the part but they wanted to try me with different actresses to find someone that would work well on screen. I’d met, I don’t know, eight or nine women and then Y/N came into the room. She looked kinda nervous,” You shook your head in disagreement but Ben ignored you. “but we got a chance to say hi before we had to read the lines and we just clicked.” “Our director really liked us together so I got a call back and we did another scene,” “So they could, y’know, see us kiss, make sure the chemistry was there.” “They must have liked it because I got the part. We did a couple of weeks of all this, um, like, bonding stuff. The rest of the main cast was there too but me and Ben had a few one on one things because we were playing a couple that was already engaged so they wanted us to look really connected.” “Anyway, I wanted to ask her out after day one but I wasn’t sure if I should because we’d be working together,” “I took a little longer to see him in that light but he was so sweet and charming and fun to be around, and by the end of the week I was thinking the same thing. Only neither of us wanted to make the first move because if it wasn’t mutual then it could make the next few months of work really awkward.” “Eventually one of the other actors pointed out how into me she was so I asked her out for a coffee and it went from there.” He returned your smile and then pulled you closer into his side, dropping a kiss to the top of your head as you leaned against his chest. “Well your casting director knew what they were doing because you two are adorable together.” A few more questions followed but eventually Ben was able to extract you from the crowd with the excuse you needed more drinks. “Actually, I gotta run to the loo, I’ll bring some food back with me though, okay?” “Okay, I’m gonna grab another cocktail, you want anything?” “Beer’d be great,” “Sure thing, babe,” He smiled again as he left you but you were smiling too. There was something fun about the act. Even with everything that had happened and how mixed up and hard it had been at times, an evening like this was fun. He made you laugh and made sure you felt comfortable in what could have easily been an extremely uncomfortable situation. Plus, it meant you got to indulge the part of you that was still fantasising about being with him. You were allowed to kiss him and touch him because you were acting. There was no confusion about why, no worries about if you were crossing the line you’d put down, nothing to stop you from enjoying it. So what if occasionally your fantasies extended beyond just doing the horizontal tango? It wasn’t so bad to think about cuddling up in front of the TV with him.
Drinks in hand you headed back to where Ben had disappeared, trying to spot him in the crowd. “Y/N!,” You spun round to see who was talking, finding yourself face to face with Ben’s mum again. Angela, you reminded yourself. “Come join us over here,” she said leading you to a table where a few others sat, “You’ve met my husband Keith already, yes? And this is Doug and Katherine. This is Y/N, Ben’s girlfriend.” You took a seat and chatted with them, glancing around for Ben every so often. Eventually Doug and Katherine got up to talk to someone else and Keith went off in search of more food, leaving you and Angela alone. “Now, darling, Ben tells me you’ve got a work thing to get back home for tomorrow so you’ll be leaving a bit earlier than originally planned.” Angela said, patting your hand. “Yeah, um, it’s an audition,” you lied. It was a cover Ben had come up with so you didn’t get guilted into staying an extra day. “Well that does sound important. I’m sad we won’t have longer to get to know you though. I must admit, I saw a photo of you and Ben a while ago and I was hoping he’d bring you up because you just looked so lovely. And you obviously make him very happy, which is of course what every mother hopes for. So you have to come back soon so we can have a proper chat. Make a weekend of it or something.” You were a little taken aback, stunned to hear how much of an impact you’d had without meaning to. It made you feel a bit guilty. This was Ben’s family and you weren’t part of it, you shouldn’t be there. But you swallowed the doubts, tried to ignore how much you wanted it all to be real, and smiled back at her, “I’d love that. Just say when.” “Oh now don’t tempt me or I’ll have the date picked out before the end of the night. I don’t want to jump the gun or seem too forward but just seeing how you two are together…I hope you know you’re welcome in our family. Ben loves you a lot, I can tell.” “I know. And it’s very kind of you,” “I mean it darling. And if the next family get together was your wedding, well….but of course that’s neither here nor there.” You laughed it off but your insides were churning. “So this is where you got to,” Ben’s voice interrupted as he dropped into the seat beside you and lay his hand on your knee. You hadn’t realised your leg had been bouncing but you stopped it the moment he touched you. “I was just telling Y/N that you should come back again soon, when there’s no auditions to interrupt your stay.” “Sure, Mum,” Ben said, still touching your leg. You chatted for a bit longer until she got distracted enough for Ben to lean into your ear and softly ask, “You okay? Or do you want to get out of here?” “Please,” you whispered back. “Okay, follow me,” He took your hand and told his mum he wanted to introduce you to someone but you barely heard it, your head buzzing as you made a polite exit and let Ben lead you outside, making excuses to anyone who tried to stop you. As soon as you were clear of the venue he pulled out his phone to find a car, one hand on your lower back, rubbing soft circles over your shirt until you felt you could breathe easy again. “Better?” “Thank you. How’d you know?” He shrugged, “I just know you. I saw your leg bouncing and figured Mum had said something,” “She mentioned us getting married,” “What? Why the fuck would that have come up?” “It was just a passing comment but I….” You half shrugged, trying to find the right words. “It’s okay, c’mon, let’s go home you can tell me everything.” You nodded and let him hug you as you waited for the car.  
Once you were inside Ben grabbed a couple of glasses from the kitchen and then headed into the dining room. “Thank you dad,” he mumbled as he pulled a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black Label out of a cupboard and turned to show you, “He’s kept a stash of this stuff in here since I was a kid. Got in trouble for stealing some a couple of times.” “Better not let him find out about this then,” you laughed, feeling more relaxed now that it was just you and Ben, a sizeable distance from the rest of the party. Ben chuckled along as he poured a little into each glass and carefully replaced the bottle, “So what happened back there?” “I don’t know,” you accepted your glass and took a sip, leaning against the corner of the table. Ben didn’t cut in, he just took his own drink and waited until you could say more. “I guess it was just harder to be around your family than I was expecting. It wasn’t the same as sitting in a restaurant on a date,” you drew the quotation marks in the air with your fingers, “That was a room full of people who care about you and they were all so lovely and welcoming and your mum said she’d been hoping you’d bring me here since she saw a photo of us and invited me back so she could get to know me and I said I’d love to because what else could I say and she seemed so happy about it and so pleased that you’re so happy and I feel so guilty about lying to them all. What if they find out? Your mum’ll be so disappointed.” “Don’t worry about lying to them, I’ve done it plenty before,” when you didn’t laugh he put his glass down beside you and took you free hand in his, “Seriously, Y/N, there’s nothing to feel guilty about. The premiere is coming up in a couple of weeks and then pretty soon after that we’ll break up and I’ll tell them it just wasn’t working, and they’ll accept it and never have to know the truth. And then we can forget this whole thing and move on.” You weren’t so sure that was what you wanted anymore, but you weren’t sure enough to say it. Instead you put your glass down as well and said, “but it must be hard for you too. Having me here and everything.” It was only when you looked at him that you realised how close you were standing. He was still holding your hand, his thumb rubbing back and forth over your fingers. “I’m a big boy, I can handle it.” You weren’t sure what compelled you to do it, the drink maybe, or just pent up sexual tension, but he was so close and he was looking at you with those eyes and before you could stop yourself you leaned in to kiss him. He seemed a bit shocked, taking half a step back, and you were sure he was going to tell you it wasn’t a good idea and then leave you standing there alone. But then his hand was on your jaw as he kissed you back, all hesitancy gone. You felt him sigh against you as if he’d been holding his breath, waiting for this to happen again, and pulled him in closer.
***
Maybe it was the months without sex, or maybe it was how often your mind had conjured similar scenes, or maybe it was just how good it felt to have him press you against the table to kiss you again, but whatever the reason it wasn’t long until you were pushing the hem of his shirt up over his stomach. He took the hint and stopped kissing you just long enough to pull it over his head, quickly finding your lips again as his fingers worked on the buttons of your shirt. He got about halfway through and then stopped, instead dropping his hands to your arse so he could lift you up and carry you up the hall towards his room. He kicked the door shut once he was through it and pressed you against it, kissing you as if to make up for lost time. It was a heady experience, being pinned to the door, your legs wrapped around him as you kissed messily. Too much and not enough all at once. You needed him closer still and clutched at his shoulders to try and make him understand. Either he really could read you well or he wanted the same thing because a moment later there was no longer a door behind you, Ben taking the few steps towards the bed and letting himself drop to the mattress. He pushed your shirt from your shoulders, no longer needing to hold you up, and ran his hands over your sides as if trying to map out he lines of your body. A whine escaped you as your need to remove layers grew and you dropped your hands to his belt, fumbling blindly with the buckle. A voice in your head told you it was a bad idea. You still weren’t certain of your feelings, weren’t sure doing this would cure you of them or if it’d just make everything messier than it already was. But the voice got quieter with every shift of your hips and every stroke of his fingers. “You’ve no idea how much I’ve thought about this,” he mumbled against your neck. All you could manage was a small whimper of agreement as he kissed you again, and traced his fingers up to the clasp of your bra. It was on the floor in seconds, his hands replacing the material, only making you want more. You arched your back into his touch, panted against his lips. He smiled, circled a nipple with his thumb, delighted in your response.
Suddenly he flipped you over so you were sitting on the bed, kissed you again and then stood up. “Ben?” you were worried he was going to put an end to things before they got too far. Thankfully he didn’t, just shucked off his pants. You almost laughed in relief as he leaned over you again, making quick work of the fastening of your skirt so it too could join the clothing on the floor. The voice in your head was gone, silenced by the pure desperate need to have him touch you more, and he was making no moves to stop it either as you shuffled further up the bed, pulling him along with you. You let out a choked off moan as he kissed a trail down your neck, tilted your head to the side so he could reach all the spots that made you gasp. But it still wasn’t enough. You were going to go crazy with need if you didn’t get something more soon, so you let your hand fall between you, rubbed your palm over the front of his boxers, felt him rock his hips against your hand, already hard. He sat back on his knees so he could slip your underwear down your legs. “Fuck,” he groaned as soon as he realised how wet you were. You grabbed his wrist and put his hand between your legs, hoping he’d take the hint. He did, trailing his fingers between your lips, over your clit. Your breath caught as he slipped a lone digit into you, slowly, easing you into it before he added a second. He watched you closely, eyes half lidded and soft, the tip of his tongue poking out from between his teeth like he was concentrating on memorizing every inch of you, inside and out. Even in that moment, when your breaths were coming shaky and uneven, and your skin was burning under his gaze, even then all you could think was how hot he looked, hair ruffled, lips kiss swollen, completely enraptured by you. He shifted his finger slightly and your eyes fluttered shut. “There, babe, fuck, right there,” you sighed. “Like that?” he asked softly, twitching his fingers against you again. You nodded though he drew a more vocal response from you a few seconds later when he added a third finger and leaned down to suck your nipple between his lips. He hummed when he heard you say his name and repeated the same motion in the same place, so you said his name again, louder, and then again and again as he kept going, hitting you exactly where you needed him. You were almost surprised by how quickly he managed to pull you over the edge. Almost. But it had been a while and he’d always promised he was good. He worked you through it before he carefully withdrew his fingers and kissed you again, stealing what little breath you had left.
And then he stopped. Sat back again. You blinked your eyes open and reached for him as he leaned over the edge of the bed, opened the draw of the beside cabinet and swore. Pulling himself back towards you he took your outstretch hand and kissed the back of it, “I don’t have any condom’s here,” he sounded apologetic. “I have some, wait,” you kissed him quickly before you stood, a little unsteady, and opened the wardrobe door, thankful Felicity had given you the handful of them and that you’d brought the bag with you. He looked like he was about to ask why but the sight of you climbing onto the bed, straddling him, with one hand on his chest to lay him down, made the question die in his throat. He let his head fall back onto the pillow as you pulled his underwear off and rolled the condom on as quick as you could manage. And then you sank down onto him, trying to take your time. “Fuck,” you whined, pausing to give you both a moment to adjust. His hand grabbed onto your waist, fingertips pressing into you, encouraging you to move. It was soft but not quite, both of you panting and groaning as you raised and lowered yourself on him, building up to a steady rhythm. His hands roamed over you, grabbing your arse the way he had done on his couch, moving over your breasts, squeezing your hips, gentle but firm pulling you to speed up each time. You needed to be closer though, so you leaned down to kiss him again, grunting at the change of position. But it interrupted your flow, made you stutter out of time, so Ben propped himself up on his elbows, and then when that wasn’t enough, sat up fully, his knees rising behind you. One hand was braced on your back to keep you steady as you circled your hips, the other cupped your cheek as his forehead leaned against yours, every uneven breath audible, able to feel the rapid rise and fall of his chest under your palm. “I love you,” he sighed, his nose bumping against yours as he searched for your lips again. You were on the verge of repeating his words back to him when he dropped his hand from your cheek, let it fall between you and brush against your clit, the confession lost in your moan. “You gonna c-cum for me?” You nodded, leaning into his neck as you did your best to keep riding him, legs shaking with the effort and your approaching release. He didn’t let up until you were crying out into his shoulder, following close behind you with his own moan.
***
You lost track of how long you sat there, leaning against each other as you came down, lost track of where you were, lost track of the reality of your relationship. Your instinct was to keep clinging to Ben, keep kissing along his jaw and nose as you pulled yourselves back together. But it was too much for him. He let go of you suddenly, as if just touching you was painful. “I’ve gotta…” he said with a half hearted nod in the direction of the doorway. “Oh. Right, yeah,” you climbed off him, trying not to react to the sudden emptiness, the sudden cool of the air outside of his embrace. Ben moved to the edge of the bed, glanced at you, ran his hand through his hair. “I wasn’t expecting that to happen,” you offered somewhat lamely, not sure how to explain everything you were feeling. “Neither. Are you okay?” “Yeah. I, um, it was really good and I-I think I kind of needed it.” This was it. There was no more running from what you were feeling. No more pretending it was platonic or just physical. You had to come clean, to yourself as much as to Ben. Ben smiled but it was a pained kind of smile, “It was good for me too. Really good. But it can’t ever happen again.” He stood up before you could say anything else, tied off the condom and put his boxers back on, making a hasty retreat. Something stirred in your memory and you had the sudden urge to tell him he couldn’t leave you because he owed you a third orgasm, but it was too late. He was gone and you were left sitting there, naked and alone, waiting for him to come back so you could explain. When enough time had passed without his return you got up, put your pyjamas on and went to the bathroom, running on autopilot as you considered everything that had just happened. Maybe Ben was right to walk away. Maybe it had been a mistake. He probably wouldn’t believe you if you told him how you really felt. You’d taken too long to work it out, been too vocal about not feeling it. And it would be poor timing to say it right after you’d slept together. He’d think you were saying what he wanted to hear so he wouldn’t be embarrassed about saying it himself. And maybe it was down to all the tension between you. You’d spent all day pretending to be the loving girlfriend after all, maybe it had influenced you a bit, made you think you felt things you didn’t actually feel. But something that good, that tender, didn’t just happen with anyone, surely. It certainly hadn’t been like that with anyone else you’d been with casually. And you’d assumed that having sex with Ben would be the solution, that you’d finish and be fixed. No more thinking about him, no more wanting to be with him. But all you really wanted was to cuddle up beside him. Fall asleep in his arms. That wasn’t something you usually wanted from one night stands. Normally you’d want to get out as fast as possible not sit in their bedroom and wait for them. And the thought of everything else that could happen if he just knew it was what you wanted – waking up beside him, making him coffee, listening to him play stupid love songs on his stupid guitar, comforting him on bad days, being his actual fucking girlfriend and not just his pretend one – all of that sounded so fucking wonderful. It couldn’t just be endorphins making you feel like that. There had to be something of substance behind it all. Afterall they’d been there for a while now, those feelings. It wasn’t like the sex had conjured them. You’d been pretending not to notice them but they’d been there for months. So the only way forward was to tell him.
When you got back to the bedroom Ben was there, curled away from you on a makeshift bed on the floor. He could have been sleeping except his shoulder’s were too rigid, holding too much tension. “Ben?” He didn’t respond, just kept feigning sleep. So you switched out the light and tiptoed to the bed, crawling under the covers. The sheets still smelt like him and it made your heart ache. What if you just said it? You sat up, turned your head in his direction. “Ben?” it came out as more of a whisper than you’d have like so you tried again, “Ben, I-I-” If you said it now would he join you? Or would he pretend he hadn’t heard? You fell silent again at that thought, not sure you could cope with it. Maybe you’d just hold off for a bit. Wait until the premiere. Give yourself time to find the exact right words to explain your apparent change of heart. He couldn’t write you off as trying to spare him some embarrassment if you said it weeks after he’d let it slip in the throws of passion. He’d have to take you seriously then. “Goodnight,” you sighed, and lay down again, though try as you might, you couldn’t sleep. You lay there in the dark, sure Ben was just as awake as you were, with only one thought in your head. You loved Ben. And you didn’t know what to do about it.
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brelione · 4 years
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The Surfer And The Siren
Chapter Two:The Blondes,The Dog and The Girl in the Woods.
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Chapter One
@kelsiejayy​ designed this mood board :) 
“Why is it always the blondes?”Richard asked.You shrugged,folding the snack bag closed. “They remind me of him.”You answered.Richard just nodded,pulling the strings of the bag tight. “Will you tell him stories about me when im gone?”Richard asked.You pouted. “You’ve still got a few more years,Rich.”You mumbled.He just chuckled. “Lets get going,weve got thirteen hours to go.”he locked the door as you walked out.You two got into his older car,driving down the bumpy roads to his house.You ran up the small grassy hill and up to the front porch,kneeling to pet Blue on his stomach.You then ran inside,jumping onto the couch and holding your favorite pillow to your chest.Richard let the dog in,going into the kitchen to show you that he had already set out your favorite cookies.ayou ate seven before you ran into the backyard to see how much taller the sunflowers had grown since the last time you had been over to the house.You rolled in the grass,lifting yourself into a tree and giggling loudly.
It felt like it had been a long time since you had even touched a tree.Probably because it had been.Richard placed his phone on the outdoor table,allowing your favorite songs to play.There was some Queen,some Disney,some instrumental and some early 2000’s music.You got down from the tree,telling him you were going to take Blue for a walk.Richard nodded,standing up.He wasnt as fast or energetic as he had been 60 years ago.He couldnt give you piggy back rides anymore or play soccer in the middle of the woods.It didnt really matter though.He was still good old Richard with his shitty jokes and his big grey hound.You grabbed Blue’s leash,clipping it to his collar.RIchard shouted to you to let you know that you could go without him.You ran down the street,racing the large dog all the way to figure eight.You ended up on the beach behind the kook mansions.You had watched as they had been built all those years ago,wondering what kind of rich straight white dudes were going to move in there.
You were unaware of the camera watching you from a tall tree,oblivious to the notification that was sent to Rafe Cameron’s phone.Blue leaned against you,laying down at your feet.You sat indian style,allowing the dog to rest in your lap. “Are you a handsome baby?”You grinned,tapping the dogs nose.He sneezed,moving upwards to look your chin.Rafe came up behind you,his eyes focusing on your hair.He hadnt been prepared or even thought about what he was going to say.He just didnt want to miss you. “Hello?”You called out,feeling someone looking at you.He inhaled sharply and his fists clenched. “Sorry,sorry-I didnt mean to scare you.”He spoke awkwardly.Blue sat up,staring him down and growling.You looked over your shoulder,grip tightening on Blue’s leash.That wasnt Ward.Ward was a normal person,he aged.You had watched him age. “Ward?”You asked,not calling off Blue.Rafe shook his head,not being able to form words.You dragged your fingers along the back of Blue’s neck to calm him.The dog leaned into your touch,slumping against you. 
“Um...Im Rafe-Rafe Cameron.My dad’s name is Ward,though.”He answered.You nodded,standing up and brushing the sand off of your clothing.He looked just like Ward when he was in his early twenties.Ward had always been a bit of the sketchy type but never too bad.He wore his long sleeve shirts rolled up to his elbows,socks and sandals and always had some sort of fancy watch clinging to his wrist.You had been to the Cameron’s dock countless times just to check if Ward Cameron was still alive and walking.You wrapped Blue’s leash around your wrist so he wouldnt go too far. “I like your hair.”He spoke,pointing to the blue curly mess.Your eyebrows fell over your eyes,Blue sensed the tension and licked your fingertips.He glanced up at the tree where the camera was hidden before looking back up at you. “Okay.”You mumbled,not wanting to continue the conversation.He didnt have good intentions.It felt like you were talking to Ward,In fact,you could remember Ward telling you the same thing.Rafe sucked in a big breath,looking down at Blue and trying to ease his mind.
 “Is this your dog?”He asked,gesturing towards the greyhound.You gulped,glancing around the beach for other people. “Friend’s dog.”You answered,your voice hitting him like a wave.He stumbled a bit,deciding to just sit down.His legs couldnt hold his weight and it seemed like his head was full of wet cotton.He felt exhausted and not just from running down the road.He nodded,hands in his lap. “I will see you around,Rafe Cameron.”You spoke softly,allowing the power to sink into the air.It was probably enough to enchant the boys inside houses across the whole neighborhood and more than enough to cause Rafe to fall forward with his eyes closed.You grinned,biting down on your lip and holding back a chuckle.Men were just too easy.You jogged back up the sand and to the street,seeing a boy asleep on his lawn.It only made your smile widen as you ran back to the cut,Blue panting as he sprinted with you.When you got to the cut you were a sweating and panting mess,laughing at the feeling of pain in your kneecaps.
You kept running,savoring the sore feeling at your ankles and heels as your feet smacked the cement.When you got back to Richard’s Blue had dragged himself up the stairs tiredly to drink some water.You went inside the house,leaving the door open for Blue and laying down on the couch.Your cheeks were flushed,your skin damp from sweat. “Did you have a good run?”Richard asked.You nodded,sitting up. “I didnt know that Ward Cameron had a son.”You frowned,pushing the blue hair from your face.Richard gulped,sitting down in his reclining chair. “You saw Ward Cameron?”He asked nervously.You shook your head. “Just his son.Strange looking boy...kind of like Ward with moist hair.I didnt tell him my name,just Blue’s.He’s asleep on the beach as of right now.”You explained.He nodded,opening a bag of skittles.You giggled. “God,do you remember back in 82’ when those things first got to the store?”You asked.He nodded. “How could I forget?I was trying to get you a bag but the buggers were sold out.The rich boys were mixing them with vodka and throwing up on the streets.”He let out a wheeze like laugh.You grinned at the memory,holding your pillow to your stomach.
 “The boy...JJ.Do you know him well?”You asked.Richard raised his eyebrows,shaking his head as he poured skittles into his palm.You sighed,leaning back. “He looks like him...I saw them while I was out today.JJ and Pope,I mean.They were with another boy and a girl.The other one….I forget what he’s called.He looks like an Adam,though.He’s very terrible at surfing,I had to rescue him during a storm.And the girl...she was diving near the caves to clean up trash that had sunk.I feel drawn to them like im supposed to be part of their group.It was that feeling I had when I saw you on the beach on the night we met...I knew it would lead to something good.”You tried your best to explain your feelings.He nodded,reclining in the chair and stretching out his sore legs. “I understand,(Y/N).But I dont know enough about these kids to let you go around them.Im not trying to control you,Im just concerned for your safety.You’ve seen it all before where your kind gets involved with the wrong human folk and winds up dead or trapped in a tank.You cant let that happen,I cant let that happen.I’ll learn as much as I can about them,okay?”He asked.
You sighed,watching as Blue slowly walked in and sat by the door. “I wouldve felt if he had bad intentions or anger,he didnt.When I was out for my swim they tried to find me again to make sure that i was okay.If they were bad they wouldnt have done that.”You mumbled.He nodded. “But they didnt know who you are and what you are.Maybe if they had they would act differently but I dont exactly want to find out.Let me learn about them first,alright?”He asked.You nodded as he turned on his television. “Netflix has new films this month,why dont you flip through them until you find something you’d like to watch?”He offered,leaning forward and handing you the warm black controller.You grinned,biting your bottom lip as you watched the preview for H2o Just Add Water. “Hey-hey Richard.”You laughed.He looked up at the television,holding back a laugh as his nostrils flared. “No-nope.”He shook his head.You laughed,looking through the episode titles before snorting. “Siren effect!”You giggled.He sighed,pinching the bridge of his nose. “If that is what you want to watch than go for it.”He grinned.
You shook your head,going back to the home page.You settled on a show called I Am Not Okay With THis.You werent really paying attention because you were too busy thinking about all the things you wanted to do in such little time. “It really sucks that we cant go into the woods like we used too.”You sighed.Richard frowned,nodding in understanding. “You know that its not safe for you out there alone.”He reminded you.It was dangerous for anyone to go out at night especially young girls.The Cut had some pretty dangerous places that became even more dangerous at night. “Do you think I could go if Blue came with me?”You asked.Blue’s ears perked up at his name,his mouth falling open in a dog smile.Richard nodded hesitantly. “Alright.Dont go too far and stay away from the graveyard.”He leaned back in his seat.You grinned,standing up.You didnt bother with the leash,hopping down the front steps excitedly with Blue right behind you.You didnt think you’d ever get used to the smell of grass and the feeling of dirt between your toes.Your hair got caught in a few branches but you couldnt care less.
You could see the faint green glow of fire flies a few feet away. “Why do I always have to get the firewood?They’re perfectly capable but no,no of course theyre just too high to do basic things.”A feminine voice ranted to herself.There was no way of telling exactly how far away it was but you assumed it was pretty close when the fireflies dispersed.Blue barked softly,a growl coming from her throat. “Hello?”The voice called upon hearing the noise.You huffed,silently thanking the gods that you wouldnt have to speak to yet another boy. “Hello.”You replied,finally seeing the owner of the voice.Her dark hair was tied into a fancy french braided bun that probably took years of her childhood to master.Her skin was the color of werther’s chewy caramels.She wore a white and black hoodie that was large and a bit baggy on her small frame along with a pair of light shorts.You knew she probably couldnt make out your features in the dark.That was one of the advantages you were grateful for.You had always been able to see close to perfectly in the dark which definitely helped with your insecurities when you knew for a fact that others couldnt.
 “Why are you in the middle of the woods?”She asked.You held onto Blue’s collar so he wouldnt lunge at the pretty girl. “The dog needed to pee,what about you?”You asked.She giggled,playing with her fingers nervously as her legs got a tingly feeling. “Oh-um-firewood.What’s your dogs name?”She asked.You slowly let go of the collar.Blue walked forward eagerly to sniff at the girls shorts,hands and shoes. “Blue.”You answered.She kneeled down to pet the large dog as he sat down in front of her,licking a slimy streak on the side of her face. “And what’s your name?”She asked,directing the question towards you.You grinned upon realising that this was her.This had to be a sign. “(Y/N).”You answered,watching as her face fell and her mouth fell agape.You were the girl JJ spoke so fondly of.She could absolutely agree with him about your voice.She had never heard one quite like yours with that weird accent.
You could probably make some really incredible ASMR if you wanted too. “Do you….by any chance have blue hair?”She asked.You smiled to yourself. “That would be me.”You confirmed.She blushed,biting her lip. “Im Kiara.I think you know my friends,JJ and Pope.”She muttered.You hummed,swatting a mosquito away from your face. “I met them briefly.”You told her,snapping your fingers by your side to get Blue to come back to you.You rubbed the back of his left ear,seeing Kiara stand up straight again.The original blue was missing part of his left ear after getting into a fight with a rat the size of a puppy.That was definitely in the top ten scariest moments of your life.You and Richard had been inside the house baking a cinnamon peach cake for his mother when she came home from a long day of work.You had started to smash up butter in a large bowl that you had actually made for them when you heard a mix of screams,hisses and whimpers coming from the backyard.
He had grabbed the broom,ready to break up a fight between two young children.You had both ran outside,screaming in shock at the sight in front of you.Blue had been shaking his head back and forth,trying to get the rat of of him.You had to tackle the poor dog,ripping the rat off and practically suffocating it.Richard had ran inside to grab one of his old dirty shirts,running it under the cool faucet water before running back outside and holding it to Blue’s damaged flesh.You had thrown the rat down the hill as adrenaline coursed through your veins.He had gotten the bleeding to stop,the red liquid had stained the already dying grass.You used your bandana to hold his ear down and bandaged.That had happened only a few months before you had lost your ring and became pretty much completely confined to the ocean.Since then Richard had tried his best to keep everything the same.When the first Blue died he was quick to find a similar looking grey hound from an animal shelter.He’d created a raft out of branches and grape vines and fitted sheets so he could float out to your cave.He put newspaper into plastic wrap so you could keep up with things going on in the land.He didnt go anywhere outside of North Carolina without telling you first.Pretty much his whole life revolved around you.
“Cool,cool.So are you visiting from somewhere?”She asked.You had gotten used to that question. “No,actually.I kind of just stay under the radar,you know?”You asked.She nodded. “So are you a kook or a pogue?”She asked.You shrugged,scratching your nose. “Um...I’d say its complicated.”You answered.She hummed. “Yeah,I get that.So where do you live?”She asked. “Between friends,I suppose.I should probably get this handsome baby home before he falls asleep.It was great meeting you though.”You grinned.She nodded. “Ill see you around,(Y/N).”She smiled.You walked back through the woods the same way you had came,eventually coming back out outside of Richard’s house.
You went through the back door,the dim kitchen light making you realize the scratches on your ankles.It brought a smile to your face.You felt like a normal teen girl for the time being and you knew you only had so long. “(Y/N)?Are you back?”Richard called from the living room. “Yep!”You shouted back before heading to the bathroom.You looked in the mirror,smiling at how dry your hair was.It was dry and hanging at your shoulders,not flowing in the water or getting pushed into your face by currents.The small slits behind your ear were covered with skin and you could move your feet in circles.You werent sure which part of your life you preferred.You turned on the faucet,staring at the water that flowed out of it.You turned it off,looking back up at the mirror angrily.Your sisters never had to deal with everything you had gone through.They were all dead anyways and only god knows how many others there were out there.Hell,there could be some walking around Outer Banks right now with their rings keeping them safe.The shit you would do to get your ring back was ridiculous.
At this point you might even kill for one. “Are you okay in there?”Richard shouted.You flicked the light off,coming out of the bathroom with your hand sin the pockets of your jeans. “Rich,I just met the girl.”You told him,standing in the doorway of the living room.He say up straight,placing his bag of skittles down. “What girl?”He asked.You sighed,sitting back down on the couch indian style. “The girl.The girl from the group I saw earlier today.Ive encountered all of them now,that cannot be a coincidence!”You exclaimed.He shrugged. “Well,lets not jump to conclusions now.You say the Maybank boy looks a lot like him,yeah?”He asked.You nodded. “Well then maybe he’s related to the fella.You still have your old photo albums in the caves?The ones I laminated for you?”He asked.You nodded,waiting for him to continue. “This might be jumping to conclusions but what if Jesse is related to him?”He asked.
You sighed,shaking your head. “No,no he never had any kids.”You answered.He grinned. “Yeah,he didnt.But that doesnt mean his older sister didnt.Linda,I think.Wasnt it something like that?”He asked.You gulped. “Linden.She died in 55’ though.I dont know if she ever had kids.How would we find that out?”You asked.His eyebrows knit together,the bags under his eyes seeming darker. “We have google now.Hand me my phone,please.”He requested.You grabbed his phone off the kitchen counter,looking at his screensaver.It was a picture of a sunset taken awfully close to your cave system.You remembered that sunset in particular because of how bright the pink and purple hues had been.You didnt remember him taking the photo though.You tossed it to him,the strange object falling into his lap. “Hey siri.”He spoke to his phone.A ding came from the device. “Show me all information on Linden Silslip.”He requested.A few articles came up so he handed the phone back to you for you to scroll through.It wasnt until you got to the very bottom that you found an article about “The Sea Monster of OBX” with and interview from Linden.You looked through the article,pressing down on Linden’s name.A whole page of information came up.You couldnt believe what you were seeing.
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vanikolya · 3 years
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Hello! Hate to bother you. Mind if I have a matchup for Bungo and BNHA? I’m a Genderfluid bisexual ( preference to guys ). Myers Briggs is INFJ and Enneagram type is 4. I’m quite the introvert, and I find the most comfort in just being in my room drawing and listening to music. I have a very sarcastic and stupid humor, and can come off as rude when I deliver them. I’m a plushie maniac and when I fall asleep you can always see me cuddled up to one. Mainly because I’m really touch starved. I’m also a horror enthusiast. Anything spooky is my kind of style. I also wear all black most of the time. Or just "edgy" clothes in general. On the down side, I suffer from severe depression, ADHD, and severe anxiety. I take meds, no worries, but I still have times where I can get really down for no reason or just freak out over random stuff. It’s noticeable because I tend to lock myself in my room and cuddle some plushies and not eat. In fact, I’ve had to hypoglycemic attacks from not eating. I just sometimes have a really hard time taking care of myself. Ty! Much love!
{apologies if the parts about your mental health and ADHD are shorter than the others! i personally don't know much on severe anxiety and ADHD so i wouldn't want to get anything wrong about them in the headcanons <3 IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG AS WELL! TT^TT - ash}
we ship you with...
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{.⋅ ✯ ⋅.}  SHOTO TODOROKI  {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.}
is relatively unbothered by speaking to people and if you ever find yourself unable to, he would definitely speak for you to help you out
likes to just quietly hang out with you listening to music and kind of doing your own thing, but together? that's if you're fine with that of course
please be prepared for him to offer to buy you a bunch of plushies with his dad's money. kill two birds with one stone; make you happy, and annoy endeavour
after a while he gets used to helping you look after yourself; he brings you food, sometimes even when you're fine at the moment, give you space or quiet if you need it, lets you know he's there if you need him etc
giving pda doesn't really come to him easily, but as you get closer and other people know about the two of you, he tries his best especially knowing how touch starved you are
good at staying calm and down to earth in situations where you're panicking or upset, so he can help you with a level head
he likes watching horror films with you- you enjoy them, and he doesn't scare easily, so he thinks it's something nice you can do together.
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{.⋅ ✯ ⋅.}  EDGAR ALLAN POE  {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.}
comfortable around you and finds it easier to get along with you more than other people, considering you’re both introverts, and if you're comfortable with the silence, or spending time with him that you would usually spend alone, he enjoys being in your company even if you both do your own thing and don't talk much.
definitely gets you plushies, raccoon plushies are a recurring theme.
also touch starved, he likes to hold hands with you if you’re fine with it although it did take him a while to actually try and ask-
after learning you like horror, he would enjoy writing horror stories for you to read, and if you liked his stories and the way he writes, then he would really consider making you a book of his eerie/horror stories you haven't yet read for your birthday or any gift-giving holidays you celebrate.
he likes seeing your art, sometimes he even takes inspiration from it in his writing, especially if you've drawn a landscape, or a character design that really resonates with him
he wears mostly dark colours as well, since you share styles he would let you borrow some of his clothes if you ever wanted
a good listener if you ever need someone to talk to about anything you're upset about, and will ask you what kind of things he can do for you to help whenever you need it, so he doesn't get something wrong
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horansqueen · 4 years
Text
You & Me : chapter 31
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A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA
Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS
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CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30
NOTES:
-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.3k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.
- notes: not many ppl give me feedbacks these days so idk if ppl are losing interest or just busy but yea, i miss it. also, i know i normally update every other day but most likely, my next chapter will be up sunday and not saturday because i have plans! thanks!
if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)
requests! : i changed them a bit to fit the story but i hope you like it!
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Chapter 31 : His chapter
NIALL
I had everything packed for days but I had hidden all my stuff in a wardrobe, in my room. Still, my eyes always moved there by themselves as if i was dreading all of this. It was like that specific wardrobe was on fire and I had simply closed the door and ignored it. I didn't want to think about being away from her.
I had spent all my time with Olivia when I was not at rehearsal but I already missed her. I had no idea how tough it would be to be away from her for weeks but I knew it was going to be bad. We often ended up at my place just to cuddle and watch tv simply because it was easier and we didn't have to always check if we were papped or recognized. We also didn't have to stop ourselves from showing each other affection which was a good thing because I knew we'd have to restrain our impulses when she'd join me on tour.
I felt her foot run up my leg under the table and put my gaze back on her, making her smile as she held her glass of wine up.
"You're not listening to me, are you?"
My lips parted and she chuckled, taking a sip of her glass. It was her third one and I grabbed my own, tilting it a bit to make the dark liquid move as I looked at it.
"I'm sorry, pet, what were you saying?" I asked, looking up in her eyes as she sent me a sad smile.
"Just that I'm jealous you're going to Ireland." she pointed out. "And without me, too."
My heart ached at the thought and I moved closed on the table, leaning my elbows on it.
"Come with me. I want to start this tour with you."
Her eyes went soft and she tilted her head on the side, glancing down at her hand before looking up at me and I just knew she was going to refuse. I could also read in her eyes that she wanted to come, and that the answer she had to give me really hurt her.
"I can't. We start filming in 2 days. I have a scenes and I have to check the text and everything." she explained before sighing. "I wish I could come, though, I miss it."
I felt something twist in my heart but I was not sure if it was because she couldn't come with me or because she was about to spend time with her ex fiance. Perhaps it was a bit of both, and when I felt her foot move up my leg under the table again, I held my breath.
"So I hate to ask but, how do you feel about playing the girlfriend of the man you were supposed to marry?" I wondered, putting my glass back on the table and leaning against my chair.
Her eyes dropped to her plate and her foot moved away from my leg. The atmosphere felt heavy suddenly and I had the feeling that she didn't expect me to ask this question. It was our last dinner together and I had made sure I cooked something she loved, turn down the lights with the dimmer, bought her fave wine and put music in the background. But I was ruining it at the moment and it bothered me.
"I didn't know when I should tell you I just..." she sighed and looked up in my eyes, tilting her head. "I texted Dylan and I'm supposed to go for dinner with him tomorrow night, after you leave."
I put my fork back in my plate and frowned, pressing my lips together. "Should I worry?"
"No. But it's important that we have a good connection.. or at least that we don't hate each other." she explained with a shrug. "I want to know how he feels, and what he wants. I mean, I'm new to this business, but I want to make things right."
I reached for her hand and she looked up. I sent her a small smile and nodded. "Hey, I get it."
She licked her lips and squeezed my fingers, holding my hand and grabbing her glass with her other one. She took a sip and finally let go of my hand. It only took a minute until I felt her foot on my leg again and this time, the left corner of my lips moved up.
"You can't help it, can you?" I joked with a chuckle.
"Nop!" she replied with a smile. "I have to always touch you."
"What are you gonna do when I'll be away mm?"
This was meant as a joke but her smile fell and she shrugged. It suddenly made me think of all the nights I'd fall asleep without her, all the morning I wouldn't wake up holding her, all the meals I'd eat without her. I grimaced and shook my head.
"I keep ruining this evening over and over, don't I?"
"No, all your questions are legit." she just said in a soft tone, tilting her head on the side. "I don't know what I'll do when we'll be away. Hold my pillow against me and pretend it's you, perhaps."
"And when you're horny?" I asked with a smirk.
"Hump my pillow and pretend it's you." she replied quickly, making me laugh.
"I don't want to go." I let out in a whisper, making her raise her eyebrows. "I mean yea, I want to go out there and do music but, I can't stand to be away from you."
She stared at me with soft eyes and let out a chuckle but there was no amusement in her tone. It sounded more like sadness, or something that came close to nostalgia.
"It's true." I added, making her shake her head.
"No I know, I was just thinking... if you had never broken up with me, I would probably had followed you, you know? So we would be together. But at the same time, I'd still be that fragile, insecure person that depends on you and, I don't want that." she admitted with a small shrug. "I like who I've become, and I love my job. I don't want to be the kind of girlfriend who follows her boyfriend everywhere without having her own projects, her own life."
I held my breath and licked my lips. I knew what she meant, and I totally understood, but I didn't feel like I ever saw her as this dependent and fragile girl she was talking about. Was I just blind to it?
"I think you don't need someone who'll just follow you around. The times you were the most attracted to me were the times I didn't need you, the times I knew what I wanted, who I was and what I deserved. I mean, I know you love me because of who I am, but you were drawn to me more when I wasn't all over you."
No matter how hard I thought, I couldn't decide if she was right or wrong but if she was right, I really never did that on purpose, and I never even realized it.
"One time, when we were apart, I missed you so much and I couldn't handle it anymore. You had moved here, and I read on your web site that it was the premiere of your tv show." I admitted, shaking my head and looking down at my glass before quickly taking the last sip. "So I put clothes on, grabbed a cap, and went to the premiere."
I looked up only to see her frowning with her lips parted. I had all her attention and it made something stir in my stomach.
"I waited a few hours just to see you, and when I did, I just watched you pause for the cameras, flashes everywhere, and all that shit. You were with Dylan but I barely noticed him because you were literally glowing. I was seeing you happy. Very very happy. I remember trying to find a time where you were this happy with me. And I realized that you didn't need me anymore." I waited until she looked up in my eyes again to keep talking. "You've always been a strong and smart woman, but at that very specific moment, I knew I was not important anymore. You didn't need me, you didn't long for me anymore, and even if I tried to convince myself that you would always love me somehow, it was fucking tough."
There was a moment of a silence and she just pushed the air out of her lungs as a small smile appeared on her lips.
"That day I could swear I saw you, and... I thought I was hallucinating you. Black cap, white Nike shirt... I came to the conclusion that my mind was just playing tricks on me. I knew I was not over you but I was trying to move on and when I lost you in the crowd I decided you weren't really there." she chuckled again but her lips curled too. "It was really you."
"Yep, was me, i'm sorry."
She stared at me some more and slowly, her head tilted on the left and her lips curled more.
"You really never stopped loving me." she pointed out in a murmur, as if she was now realizing it, or believing it.
"Not a second, Olivia."
She teared up suddenly and I felt my heart break. I reached for her hands as she let tears fall down her cheeks. I didn't want this, I didn't want to make her cry, or hurt her, and here I was, doing exactly that. Again.
"I'm so sorry, Liv, please, I'm sorry." I repeated, my face twisting with pain. "Please, come here."
I pulled on her hands and she breathed in, getting up as I spread my legs to give her space. I felt the need to get her closer, to feel her body against mine and I just tapped my thigh, making her chuckle through her tears and shake her head.
"Sit down." I whispered, sending her a sad smile.
"No," she sniffed. "I'll crush you."
"Sit the fuck down."
She raised her eyebrows but her smile was still intact and she moved away to let me press my thighs together before sitting on me. One of her arms wrapped around my neck and she moved dangerously close, making my lips curl more. I could see every trait of her face, from the gold around her pupils to the little scar near her mouth from when we were kids and she fell off the stairs. She smelled amazing, the same mix of honey and vanilla I was used to, and I wrapped both my arms around her waist.
"Not too heavy?" she wondered, raising her eyebrows again and making me frown.
"Stop saying stupid things, will you?" I let out. "I know you gained weight, I know you hate it, and you need to know two things. First of, I love it. And second of, I'm a tank baby, you've never met a strong man like me."
This time, she started laughing, letting her head fall back as a long laughter boomed out of her open lips. Just watching her laugh made me happy and I let out a chuckle as I watched her. I pulled her closer and one of my hands ended on her thigh, making her look back at me.
"Be honest. Did you stop loving me, at some point?"
Her eyes roamed on my face and she moved closer again, kissing my upper lip very slowly. She was so soft and gentle all the time and I missed that in my life. I missed her touch and how tender and loving she was, especially with me. When she was not in my life anymore, all I could think about was that I missed her, but I also missed everything she did, everything she said, everything she was. It's the little things I missed the most and those things, she was giving them back to me. Slowly, and by little waves, but I was still getting samples from time to time. I was greedy, though, I wanted all of them, and right now, but I would wait for her. A lifetime or two, no doubt. Maybe even three.
"I hated you." she admitted in a murmur, her lips brushing against mine. I felt my heart shatter and swallowed a lump in my throat. "I hated you, I cursed you, I wished you wrong. I complained about you, I bitched about you, I cried and yelled about you."
I blinked a few times, trying to keep my emotions in. Even if I couldn't blame her, it felt like someone had stuck a knife in my stomach and was twisting it with each of her words. I kept quiet. I couldn't talk anyway, and she kept going.
"But not one second, I stopped loving you." she whispered, bringing her hand to my cheek and running her fingertips on my stubble before slipping them in my hair. "I've been in love with you for 20 years, Niall. I think after all this time, falling out of love is impossible. There's a point you reach that you just know, deep inside, that the love you feel is there to stay. I've reached that point. A long time ago."
"But you hated me." I argued in a breath before she sighed.
"Trust me, it's possible to hate and love someone at the same time. I hated you because I loved you so much."
I didn't even know if it made sense but I just nodded.
"I don't hate you now, Niall. I feel many many things for you but nothing negative, I promise."
She kissed my lips again and tugged at my hair very gently as her mouth traveled on my lips and jaw. I remained motionless, my hand burning on her thigh while she showed me affection, and with the way her hands and lips moved on me, I knew she was not lying. There was something special and unique in the softness of her touch that talked louder than a voice could, that explained better than words would.
It took me a few minutes to react but a bit roughly, I brought my hands to cup her face and kissed her harder. Her lips parted more to deepen the kiss and I moved closer to her, my hands now running on her back and her arms before I let one of my hands slip under her shirt. I wanted her so bad and it was so sudden that I could feel my whole body throb.
"I'm gonna miss you so fucking much, petal." I admitted low, allowing my lips to leave her briefly before crushing my mouth on hers again. "Let me make love to you, yea?"
I got up, making her do the same, and grabbed her waist, turning her around and pressing her against the windows behind her. I let my mouth move avidly to her neck as I started breathing harder. She took her shirt off and I did the same with mine, throwing it away before pressing my body against hers. One of her hands reached for my cock and she grabbed it over my pants as my lips moved to her breasts. I moved her straps down and pulled on her bra to expose her nipples and my lips wrapped around one immediately. I sucked on it, making her whimper low and finally let my mouth brush down to her stomach until I reached her pants, unzipping them quickly and helping her take them off. She stood there, only in her underwear, and I pulled the side of her panties away to press my lips against her pussy.
"Oh my god."
I grabbed one of her legs and moved it up, putting it on my back to hold it, and spread her lips more before slipping my tongue down on her slit until it was inside her and bringing it back up to her clit. I sucked on it for a while and felt her fingers pull on my hair. I got the hint and moved back up, unzipping my pants too and getting undressed as she stared at me, lips parted. I moved closer to her, feeling my dick rub on her thighs and she moved her leg around me again. I ground my hips against her a few times and when I felt my tip slip inside her, I let out a short groan.
"I want to make love to you, not fuck you for 5 stupid minutes and cum."
She laughed and smiled as I looked at her. She tilted her chin up to look in my eyes better and I searched for her hands, grabbing them and bringing them on the walls, on each sides of her head. She held them there and I slid my fingertips on the inside of her arms before reaching her palms and intertwining out fingers together. I pushed myself a bit deeper inside of her and she let out a low whimper, her eyes never leaving mine.
"I love you so much." I whispered. "I promise you'll never have to hate me. Ever again."
She nodded quickly and bit her bottom lip. "Okay."
I pushed myself completely inside her and felt my eyes flutter at the feeling.
"You feel incredible."
I brought my face closer and started thrusting in and out of her slowly but at a regular pace. My lips brushed against hers with every jerk and I didn't let go of her fingers. I felt her squeeze my hands harder and from time to time, she'd kiss my lips as I moved, or would let out a low moan.
"I love you. I love you, Olivia."
Her face twisted and I could swear she was about to cry. I pushed my body against hers more and kissed her lips a few times before kissing her deeper but still very slow. I didn't want her to cry, I wanted her to cum.
"N-Niall." she breathed out before I pulled away slightly and saw her shut her eyes tight. "Oh my god, I'm cum-"
She couldn't finish her sentence and started shaking between me and the window. I kept moving in and out of her but watching her get an orgasm made me reach mine and I leaned my forehead against hers as I came inside her, squeezing her hands maybe a bit too tight.
We were both a panting mess when we were done but we still remained motionless, our bodies pressed together, my forehead leaning against hers and our fingers intertwined on each side of her head.
"I love you too, Niall."
I smiled at her words and finally moved away and told her I'd be right back. When I got out of the bathroom, I had put sweatpants on and she was now wearing my shirt along with her panties, which I believed was her best outfit. The music was still playing in the living room and I extended my hand to her and raised my eyebrows.
"You wanna dance?"
"Here?" she smiled. "In your living room?"
I didn't answer but she just licked her lips and put her hand in mine. I made her twirl around and she giggled before I pulled her closer the same way I had at the wedding but for some obvious reason, it felt way more intimate. She leaned her head on my shoulder and it made me suddenly very happy.
I had found a radio station that only played music from the 90's and I knew it would make her happy. A slow song started and she chuckled as I pulled her closer.
"I love that song."
It took me a few seconds to remember that it was a Savage Garden song and when the lyrics said 'I love you more with every breath' I felt her lips on my neck, brushing up to my ear.
"I love you, Niall." she repeated. "I wish you wouldn't have to leave."
"Me too, petal, me too."
                                                     ---
The next day, we were both numb and sad and we did everything mechanically, stealing a few kisses from time to time as we walked by each other while getting prepared. I wanted her to come with me to the airport but I knew she wouldn't and I didn't insist. My bags were out of the wardrobe and were now waiting for me near the door, taunting me and making my heart break every single time I saw them.
"Okay, you got your passport?" she asked, standing in front of me.
I nodded and she did the same.
"Phone? Both of them?"
"Yea, I do."
She stared at me with teary eyes but still managed to send me a smile. I breathed in and out loudly and was about to pull her close in a hug when she reached for her ear, making me frown. She took one of her earrings off and handed it to me, her head tilting on the right. I remained motionless and she raised her eyebrows, moving her hand a bit closer to me.
"You still got your ear pierced, right?"
"It's your grandma's, I can't accept it I mean, what If I lose it?"
"Then don't lose it." she just argued, taking a step closer to me before putting it in my ear and locking it.
I closed my eyes and breathed her perfume in. When she was done, I wrapped my arm around her waist and kept her close to me.
"Thank you." I whispered, burring my face in her neck.
"Every time you see it, you promise you'll think about me?" she asked, gripping the front of my shirt in her fist.
"I promise. But I'll already be thinking about you." I pointed out, making her chuckle low.
She pulled away after a while and her smile grew when she saw it on my ear. "Now we match!" she giggled this time, making me laugh a bit and shake my head.
"You’re ridiculously perfect." I pointed out, pulling her closer again and wrapping my arms around her neck this time. Her arms slithered around my waist and I kissed her head, squeezing her tight against me.
"Oh! I have something else for you!"
She got out of my embrace and rushed to the room as I shook my head. It was totally her kind to forget about something she wanted to give me until last minute and it was almost a miracle that she didn't completely forget about it. She came back, jogging to me, and handed me a box. I frowned and looked up at her only to see her biting her bottom lip, eyebrows raised.
"What it is?"
"Short letters." she explained, licking her lips nervously. "I wrote one for every show you have. The name of the place and the date is written on each envelop. You can not open them before. You have to open each envelop right before you go on stage for every show. Not 30 minutes before, not in-between two songs or later when you're at your hotel. You get your guitar, open the letter, read it, and then immediately go on stage. You think you can do that?"
I pushed the air out of my lungs as my lips curled but remained parted. I opened the box only to see a bunch of envelops of different colors waiting for me inside and when I looked up, she was smiling wide, probably because of my reaction.
"That's... fuck, Liv." I let out, impressed. "That's a great idea and you know what? I'm gonna film myself opening every single one of them so you know I did it right before going on stage. I'll answer your messages in videos and send them to you."
Her face illuminated and she jumped slightly, making me laugh.
"How about we make a private instagram? We can both add things there? Share a password? And make it private, of course."
I made her an amused face and laughed. "Oh, look who loves social medias all of a sudden!"
She shrugged and I could swear her cheeks turned a soft shade of pink. "It's just for you and me, no one else. I mean, think of all the things we can post."
"Pretty sure nudity is not tolerated." I joked, making her raise her nose up in a cute grimace.
"Don't worry, I'll send you nudes directly in your text messages."
I moved my eyebrows and smirked, bringing my mouth on hers. "Mm, I really hope so."
We kissed gently and slowly for a while, as if it could push back my departure, and when we stopped, she kept her lips against mine and sighed.
"I'm in love with you, Niall. I'll miss you."
"I'm in love with you too, petal. I'll miss you more."
We sighed and I held her hand as we pulled away and took a step back until I was almost out of reach. She moved her upper body forward to keep holding my hand but when her fingers slipped out of mine, I saw her tear up and sniff. It was so hard to see that I just grabbed my stuff and turned around, walking out until I heard her voice again.
"Niall! Wait!"
I turned to look at her and she was crying. It broke my heart and I swallowed hard.
"Say it again. Please say it one last time before you leave."
I felt my heart break in my chest and dropped all the bags, rushing back to her and cupping her face to kiss her hard and intensely. She answered the kiss and moaned in my mouth.
"I'm in love with you." I whispered. "I'm so fucking in love with you."
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chimswae · 4 years
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BTS Caretaker CH19
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Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?
- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)
- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au
- Word Count: 3,884
- Author Note: I apologize if some of the thing in BTS caretaker sound cringy, i wrote this in 2017 lool so the old me is so hmmm , hahaha as much i wanted to edit it again, Im afraid i am gonna change the whole thing :< so i leave it be ahhaa thank u for reading <333
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Chapter 19
“You alright Joon?” Yoongi eyed the younger guy before him that had a distress look ever since their filming ended few hours ago. Namjoon barely touched his dinner and did not speak as much as he usually did. The corner of his eyes caught Jimin acting odd around Namjoon as if that guy knew something that he did not.
A floor light from the living room light up the space with a pleasant illumination. It was enough for Yoongi to catch a blurry image of Namjoon’s expression whom start to darken. Raking his fingers in between his soft lavender hair, a low sigh could be heard from his direction “We ended our relationship” he exhaled the words with heavy heart.
Yoongi was speechless hearing such news, though he had a little idea of how deep Namjoon’s relationship with her back then. Yet, he knew how much this guy cherish her. She used to be his source of inspiration in his song writing. Things really went wrong between them, Yoongi could not deny this one fact that he never liked the girl.
“What happen..” his unclear voice was enough to reach Namjoon. Not that he wanted to be happy over the news, however he was kind of relieve that the things have ended for good between them. Ever since the first day Namjoon told him about his genuine feelings for her, he knew something was not right in the beginning. Son Hyemi, one of their stylists who have worked for almost two years with them. Despite her cold demeanour, she appeared to be daring whenever with Namjoon. She was first assigned as Yoongi and Jungkook stylist before they switched it with Namjoon few months later.
Yoongi did not want to condemn anyone but he felt uncomfortable with her around since start. Son Hyemi is in her early 30’s when she first started her job as their stylist. Indeed, when it came to her work she’s a dedicated woman and that’s undeniable. However, for some reason with her mere presence it created unexplainable tense knowing one of his bandmates had a thing for her. They had to pretend that they were okay with it. If it weren’t for Namjoon’s happiness, he would do something pertaining to that matter. His gut is never wrong.
Son Hyemi was a trouble. She brought nothing but pain to Namjoon. If and only he realized that sooner, he would not get hurt as much as he did now. All of them had spoken about this matter behind Namjoon and clearly none of them were brave enough to say it aloud, being bluntly honest to Namjoon would only push him away. They really cared for his feelings, hurting him was the last thing they wanted to happen.
He croaked “She..is married to someone else. It is over between us” Yoongi was alarmed by his response as he stood up straight, frowning in process.
“What..when this happen?”
“She got married a week ago..It has been happening for a month, all the lies that she told me. I was a fool…to trust her and wait for her to come back to me” Namjoon looked down sadly, clutching onto his hair bellowing his frustration.
“Joon-ah…She does not deserve you. I am sorry that you are in pain and for not trying hard enough to help you through this” he gave a soft squish on his shoulder with full of regret. It was no use to cry over spill milk, horrible things when we least expected.
Lifting his head up weakly, his eyes were brimming with tears “Hyung..Its hurt.. The pain is driving me insane” Yoongi’s heart clenched his pain to see his brother in this vulnerable state.
Without uttering any words, Yoongi pulled the younger guy into a tight embrace “I know..You loved her, it was normal to get hurt. It makes you more human” Namjoon on the other hand could not contain his tears anymore, he ended up shedding his tears for the second time today. With his members, he found it was rather hard to not show this side of him. They have become his pillars of strength.
Even for the unaffectionate Min Yoongi, when it involved one of the members, he would gladly reveal this soft side of him that he intended to show only to the people that he cared. Namjoon’s shoulder shook and his breath were shuddered as he sobbed uncontrollably letting all the misery contained inside him out. His voice had drawn others to the scene one by one, watching their leader broken in Yoongi’s arm.
They exchanged a meaningful look as they had gotten the clue about it while Jimin filled them in with the news few minutes ago. Yoongi gave all of them a soft nod assuring them everything will be fine and that Namjoon only needed a moment to gather himself together.
Namjoon took a deep breath before breaking the hug “Thank you hyung..That was ugly” he wiped his tears with the back of his hand and let out a bitter chuckle.
“Once in a while, you have to cry hard. Life is like that” he patted his back softly. “To be honest, I am glad that you finally see her true colours. We are sorry that we go behind your back and talk shit about her. However, we could not bring ourselves to tell you the truth. We only want what is best for you. If being with her makes you happy then, we are fine with it. We will learn to accept her” his lips were pressed into a thin line.
“Hyung..” Namjoon pondered upon Yoongi’s word hard. Why did he do to deserve these guys in his life? Despite the bad choices that he made, they had their back for him without complain.
Another voice came into the picture which startled Namjoon “Joon-ah..Kim Namjoon. Who needs girls if you have us? Our love is enough” said Jin, throwing his arm around Namjoon’s shoulder. Namjoon’s realized other members were already there smiling sadly at his way, he returned it with a genuine smile. They caught his overwhelmed reactions as he turned into a puddle of tears over the welcoming sight in front of him.
Taehyung lurched to his side attacking him with a big hug “Hyunggie, Hyemi nuna just showed you that you have bigger heart than she is. You will soon find your own happy ending, not with Hyemi nuna but with someone better than her” his jaw hung open into his signature smile.
“This time around we will make sure any girl that you like will pass through us first before they can date you!” Jin beamed.
Namjoon laughed at their silliness “Why is it a ‘they’? Are you turning me into a Casanova?” he raised his brows in amusement. Hoseok retorted “Well, just in case we don’t like the girl we will have backup don’t you think? Chill Kim Namjoon, life maybe short, let’s not think about future and live the present” he exchanged their usual fist bump causing the latter to chuckle softly.
“Thank you, for standing by my side even in my worst state, you will always be there. I am sorry that I cause unnecessary worries. I promise I will be better and get over this feeling that I have for her. It is stupid and too good to be truth” his voice was full of regret.
Jungkook and Jimin had a proud smile on their face, watching their precious hyung that was able to finally pull his usual smile on his face. They will never be tired dealing with all the craps happening in their group. It is the recipe of their strong brotherhood.
“Who is up for drinks” Hoseok waved a can of beer accompanied by his sunny smile. So, it was that time of the month again to have a deep shit kind of talk all night. As everyone took their seat on the stool near the counter, Jimin helped to pass one can of beer each to the members except Jungkook.
His lips curved upward into a protest “Hyung…why….” Jimin brows flinched together while shaking his head in disapproval.
“Not tonight gguk. You will get the banana milk” Jimin chided, gliding the small bottle in front of him.
 --------------
Tugging clueless Jimin to the corner, Namjoon cleared his throat forcing out the words to come out after his awkward encounter with Seul yesterday. It had been bothering him since then, but he chickened out the last minute when he’s about to inquire Jimin about it.
“Are you going to ask me whether Seul is doing fine?” Jimin boldness taken him aback a little. Namjoon nodded his head frantically, chewing his lower lips showing off his nervousness. “Well, she is a little shaken, but she is doing alright. Don’t worry. I don’t think she will tell anyone about what she heard” he chuckled.
“That was awkward. I was not in the right mind yesterday. I thought Seul was Hyemi nuna. THAT IS SO EMBARASSING CHIMMY!” he facepalmed not liking this thing one bit.
Jimin laughed heartily “I know hyung. Apologize to her when we have the chance to meet her later and talk it out with her” his eyes shrunk into an eye smile.
“Talk it out with who?”
Jimin and Namjoon turned to face the owner of the soft voice, as their head tilted in sync trying to decipher the image in front of them. To their surprise, Seul was standing there awkwardly with a baffled expression across her face.
“I am sorry I didn’t know you guys are still around… I mean it is already 10 in the morning?” Seul squeezed her eyes together. ‘Does it mean, others are here too. Min Yoongi? Jin?’ she mentally cursed.
A soft smile spread across his face “It is just us and Taehyung, others are out for grocery shopping. Did Manager hyung forget to inform ahjumma that we will be staying indoor today” Namjoon watched Seul under his sharp gaze making her a little uncomfortable.
“Ah.. My mom went for her treatment early in the morning, she must be forgotten to inform me” she coughed a little avoiding Namjoon’s gaze that apparently undressing her. Screw Kim Namjoon, he doesn’t need to be that attractive.
Jimin softened when she mentioned Mrs Hwang, before he could ask her further, Namjoon jumped into the conversation “How’s your mother Seul-ssi” he looked at her way timidly.
“She is alright, thanks to the treatment I think she will be able to make it until we find a donor” a sad smile could be seen on Seul’s pale face. Mrs Hwang condition made Namjoon sympathize the older woman even more.
“Was it severe? Her kidney?”
Nodding weakly, Seul clutched onto the hem of her shirt surpassing her tears from hitting the ground “Her kidney has stopped functioning, both of it. She is lucky to be able to live this long since her life is depending on the machine. The hospital is trying to find the perfect donor for my mother” Jimin exhaled a soft breath, pressing his lips together in process.
Namjoon sent an empathy look at her direction “How about your kidney? Doesn’t it match your mother? I am sorry I don’t want to offend anyone, just wondering” Seul chuckled bitterly and it died down as soon as a sigh of regret filled the awkwardness between them.
“My brother and I did not match her, I was frustrated over the fact that we shared the same blood, yet we could not do anything about it” her face revealed all the pain that she could not express in words. Jimin took few steps closer to Seul, embracing the girl briefly “Ahjumma will be alright. Trust me” Namjoon’s eyes widended upon witnessing the scene in front of him. Just when was Jimin became super touchy with her? That was odd considering how they barely met each other.
Seul froze in her trance allowing Jimin’s warmth sipping through her vein, giving her some sort of assurance and security. Her ran his fingers in her soft lock, pulling away from the hug not long after and continued to stare into her eyes deeply “If you need someone to talk to, I will always be here. Now, talk to Namjoon hyung.. He has been dying to see you since yesterday” Seul was under his spell. His soft voice really mesmerized her, and she could feel her bones melted.
Jimin brushed her cheeks with the back of his hand, taking a step backwards giving small space for her to breathe. “See you in a bit” he winked. Seul blushed madly, hiding her face in her hair.
“Talk to her nicely” Jimin mouthed Namjoon with a slight smirk and made his way stealthy to his room. Namjoon was unsure whether he was ready to talk this thing out with her. Not that he was afraid to open up his wound again, facing Seul got him nervous for no reason.
“I am sorry” Namjoon and Seul blurted out in unison.
She rubbed her palms together “You first Namjoon-ssi” he scratched the top of his head a little steadying his breathing. “Look..about yesterday.. I..am sorry that you have to see that. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I..just I-mean I… don’t..I am not..in the right-“ stammering between his words, he attempted to force words that don’t want to be said. Namjoon felt dizzy and breathless.
Seul bit her lower lips watching the guy struggling with his own words and she finally decided it was best to interrupt “Don’t worry, pretend that never happen. I promise I will never bring that up. I am sorry for invading your privacy” she sighed tiredly.
“I am not in the place to say this but since we have come to this, I hope you are holding up well. Love is a funny thing, Namjoon-ssi. You expect it to be easy and to be world of roses. It is more of it once you dwell into it. Love is hard because it makes us grow. It forces us to confront our little demon inside. Love is between two real hearts. If another heart breaks the promises that you build, there is no point in holding onto it anymore” she spouted in one breath.
Awed by Seul’s wise words, Namjoon took the moment to scrutinize her face with so much interest. It was the first real conversation that he had with her, therefore it mesmerized him how a small girl like Seul would have bigger things to say.
She continued “ It is better to break your own heart by leaving rather than having that person to break you heart every day you are with them” her words dissolving into seething mutters to herself. “Oh my god, I am sorry! I got carried away! Forget what I said I mean really, that sounded stupid” she scolded herself as her nose scrunched up cutely not liking her own action.
Namjoon chuckled at her cuteness “You are right about everything. It is better to break my own heart this way rather than getting hurt all over again” he found the thought of ending his complicated relationship with Hyemi was a good thing. His lips pressed into a thin line as he tore his eyes meeting Seul sparkled orbs.
“Thank you Seul-ssi..I understand why Jin hyung is really keen on you. You are different” his compliment melted her heart instantly. Why was he bringing Jin in this matter? What did he mean by Jin was keen on her? To think about this again, it was super crazy.
“I am no one..You are flattering me” she shook her head, “Urm, Namjoon-ssi I think I need to get my job done so I can leave soon. You guys deserve a peaceful rest, I saw how hard you guys worked yesterday” she exclaimed.
“Ah..Dont sweat. Take things real slow, I can help you with the cleaning if you want. It is quite a mess today” he offered but Seul was fast to decline his offer. It was tempting but she’s paid to do this. That would be so wrong to make the boys work.
“No, this is my job. I will get the job done quick. Don’t worry about me”
“Can we drop the formality?” Namjoon suggested something out of context again.
“What?” Seul raised her eyebrows, ever so slightly.
“I heard you are at Jimin’s age, so maybe we can be friends. Plus, you are our caretaker lady. Why don’t we be friends and drop the formality?”
“Do I have the choice what to call you then?” her eyes gleamed with irrepressible humour.
The corner of his mouth quirked as he nodded “So what do you have in your mind?” he challenged.
“Just Namjoon would suffice”
“Just Namjoon?”
“Why? I think that is enough to show our informality”
“But you call Jin hyung, oppa” he stressed.
“Ah, that one. He forced me to call him oppa. I don’t really oppa-ing anyone except for my close friends” cringing at the thought, she grinned widely “So Namjoon would suffice”
“Can’t you call me oppa?” Namjoon demanded.
“Why do you guys so obsess in making me to call you oppa? We will see if I am in the mood to address you oppa. Now please excuse me Namjoon oppa, I have work to do” she nodded and waved her hand while she retreated to tend her job with a smile. Namjoon straightened his clothes while mumbling “Alright then” his eyes followed her until she disappeared behind the kitchen door.
“Oppa…Namjoon oppa” he was not sure why he was smiling, but he could not stop.
 -----------------
Every second was valuable to her. By anytime soon, the rest of Bangtan members would be back and she was not ready to deal with any of them. Thankfully, Jimin and Namjoon had left her alone to do her job. Taehyung was nowhere to be seen even in his room, she wondered where did he disappear.
She picked up Taehyung’s dirty laundry on the floor and tossed it inside the laundry bag. Before she left, she straightened up the bed, smoothing the sheets, carefully tucking the corners and fluffing the pillows. She glanced round the room which was quite impersonal, but her eyes stopped at the picture frame on the nightstand. The photos look familiar to her like she’s the one in it.
Taking the frame in her hand, she squinted her eyes taking a better look of the ambiguous photo. To be honest, the photo alone was a work of an art. It was too beautiful to be described with words, but little did she know she was admiring herself. As she examined the photo, her eyes landed at the corner of the frame. It surprised her to see a small signature with ‘Vante’ engraved on it.
It came to her realization, this was the photo taken by that strange guy that night who claimed himself to be Vante. How did the photo end up in Taehyung’s room? Did the Vante guy sell her photos to people publicly? The only logical thing that she could ever think was, the Vante guy turned out to be Taehyung. That was impossible!
Seul then continue to search for similar frame inside the room and yes there were few of them. Photos of Bangtan members, the scenery that he took and a photo of himself. Could it be him?
Alarm, mixed with confusion, spread through her in a frightening rush “What are you doing in my room?” she was taken aback by the gruffy voice behind her. It sounded familiar, similar to the Vante guy.
In one straight move, she turned around to face him “You?” Taehyung expression turned from uncertainty into sheer surprise. He could not believe his own eyes that Seul was standing before her in his room. What kind of sorcery was this again! Her eyes widened in astonishment “How did you get this photo?” she inquired to answer her curiosity.
“It is mine...”
“Yours? So, you are Vante?”
“Urm…Yes...i think we met before. You are the tea lady”
“I have name. It is Seul”
“Seul? So you are our caretaker?”
“Seems like it”
“WHAT A SMALL WORLD” his voice going up in pitch at the sheer surprise of it.
She raised her chin “That’s right. You see, I thought you actually-“he words broke off and her eyes widened when Taehyung rushed to her for a big bear hug. Seul stiffened in his tight embrace, it was suffocating but he smelled too good. Warmth sipping through her bodies.
“Glad that I found you again Seul” he whispered deeply leaving a trail of sexiness and manliness in his voice. He rested his chin on top of her head liking the way how small and delicate Seul was in his arm.
Her mind and body were not in sync, part of her wanted to push him away but her body really betrayed her today. It’s like she was destined to stay glue to Taehyung. Out of all members, apart from Yoongi, Taehyung would be the boldest one.
Who hugged during their first meeting? Asians don’t do hugs, why was he being so friendly to her.
This would not do, she needed to escape from this sticky situation again. Just before she could plot a murderous plan to flee from Kim Taehyung, they heard a harsh voice scowling at their way.
“Let her go Kim Taehyung” Yoongi hissed under his sharp breath. He looked like he was ready to murder someone. Stood nervously behind Yoongi was Jung Hoseok, he only cracked a nervous smile at Taehyung way and mouthed the younger guy to comply to Yoongi’s request before things turned even sour.
Releasing Seul immediately from his embrace, Seul inhaled a deep breath finally feeling the oxygen being sucked inside properly hitting her lungs.
“Hyung are you alright?” Taehyung blinked innocently.
Ignoring the younger guy’s question, he marched towards Seul giving the girl no chance to breath and crashed his lips against her ‘WHAT THE HELL. THIS THE THIRD KISS’ Seul screamed in her head desperately.
“HYUNG!” Taehyung and Hoseok yelled in fear.
“MIN YOO-YAH” she mumbled between kisses and as soon as she parted her lips, Yoongi deepened the kisses not caring the protest that he received from the floor. He had enough watching Seul with other guys. That one time with Jimin ticked him off, however he was still in denial with his feelings for Seul.
Now, seeing how Taehyung acting all cosy with her, Yoongi really had enough. He needed to make it clear to everyone that she is his.
“HYUNG YOU ARE HURTING HER!” said Hoseok.
It was exhausting to fight Min Yoongi, she would never win when it came to him. Yoongi pulled away staring at her reddened lips with a smirk “I marked her, remember that” he muttered against her lips, holding onto her body close to his.
Taehyung cringed at the sight still in dazed, he exchanged a wary glance with Hoseok and before he could ask further, Yoongi had already pulled Seul out from the room.  Leaving shook Hoseok and Taehyung, Hoseok palmed the wall behind him gulping the heavy lump on his throat.
“What was that….” Hoseok breathed out.
   This work belongs to  Chimswae © 2020. All Rights Reserved.
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thorsstorms · 4 years
Text
Abroad Pt. 19
Summary: Being the Hemsworth Kids’ Nanny, you were vowed to keep it strictly professional for their sake, but do the stolen glances go unnoticed between you both?
Word count: 5.2k
Warnings: y’all know I’m a bitch for angst by now right?
A/N: @hildehuffles this ones for you. ALSO. THE YOUTUBE CHANNEL IM TALKING ABOUT IS YES THEORY. I was in Venice a couple weeks ago, and felt like adding in a little get away like I had done. I told no one I was going and literately hopped on a plane with an Airbnb secured. #SeekDiscomfort also one of the best trips to LA I had ever taken. 10/10 recommend. 
Masterlist
Your eyes were glued to the generously sized television screen mounted on the wall, holding the flimsy bottle of water tight in your hands. The conversation took a swift turn with only a sentence spoken and it was the two of you dressed at the premier that was painting the background. You knew she was only doing this to tease him, and the sly comments he made in turn settled your nerves.
“So Chris… Who? Who‘s that?” His eyes were drawn to the monitor, not startled at all by her outburst but calm, with a telltale pink tint creeping up and a squinty eyed smile trying to stay buried.
The crowd whoops in retaliation.
He stayed silent a moment more, staring at the monitor, thinking of a way to answer until the crowd calms down. The comedian looks mischievous, obviously taking pride in his suffering though she knows exactly who you are now. The crowd doesn’t need to know that detail. She only means to tease, it’s who she was!
He folds his hands, rubbing them together before simply saying, “I have never seen that woman in my life.” Obviously joking. 
“Oh come on!” she pushed, glowing eyes with a smile stretching across her cheeks.
“Yea, yea. That is my girly-friend, you could say. It’s-It’s weird to say that because I feel like she’s more than just a girlfriend, you know?” He glances again back at the large picture behind him before running a hand down the side of his face, focusing back forwards. He knows you are just watching the screen, glued to the screen at that, in the green room. He didn't know what you were thinking! It could go one of two ways in his mind. Absolutely silently losing your mind or laughing in retaliation to his discomfort of not knowing what to say. Hopefully the latter.
“Oh! I know.” She jokes, full on laughing at him while he smirks but stares daggers playfully. She knows you were more than just a girlfriend in his mind now, but how could he resist the shot of you meeting and hugging Ellen Degeneres and not stick the ring up and snap a photo of the moment while you were faced away? She was a trustworthy person, or so he hoped. Not proven wrong so far.
“Okay, Okay,” she settles herself. “So tell me, where did you find her?” She was keen to the details.
“Uhh- The internet,” he says without missing a beat. You almost choke on your own spit at his fast response, not knowing whether to laugh or crawl into a hole. But the crowd loved it, laughing. He sure got a kick out of the response, thinking he, himself, was funny. Loser.
“You are joking.” Ellen says, dead panning him.
“No, no really. My, uh, my manager found her for me.” He continues on, deceiving the crowd. Depriving them of the whole truth.
“Oh my god, Chris,” you mutter to yourself in the quiet room. Ellen got a kick out of that even more, stopping him from continuing down this road. He obviously was not going to give straight forward answers.
“Okay, okay.” She switches to a different question. “So…” She dragged out for an effect. Maybe just to make him squirm.
“Oh no,” he mumbled. She just had a look, a look that told that she had so many wrong questions under her sleeve.
“You filming something Chris?” The crowd slowly grew to giggle when he didn’t answer. Just stared her down trying not to react.
“Do you have, like, anything I can answer?!” He burst with a chuckle, wiping his palms on his thighs. “I’m just in town, and agreed to come see you and you treat me like this!” His smile was bright while she muttered apologies, laughing at his distress.
The interview eventually calmed down, them playing a rapid fire game afterwards. You finally settle into the couch to watch the interactions.
That was so not as bad as it could have been. He knew what he was doing during interviews anyway, or you had hoped.
~
You slept in the next morning, only waking to acknowledge that he was leaving for the day. This was a free day to yourself and sleeping in as long as you wanted seemed like the best way to start.
He left you with a mere kiss on the nose before he trudged out the door. The night before was yet another dismissal and it left you flustered and annoyed as all get out, so the day to yourself was the best present around.
Regardless of how much you thought you wanted a calm day, you were texting him by noon, telling him you were bored. By the time he replied, a mere 45 minutes later you were already sucked into YouTube. You found a new channel that piqued your interest and were easily four videos in.
“Sorry princess. Come with me tomorrow?”
You read the preview and sighed, ignoring it for the moment and pressed play on the video again. These guys in the videos were entertaining... inspiring, even.
By the time the fifth video started, their names were easily remembered. What sparked interest even more was the fact that they are based out of Venice Beach, a mere 45 minute drive through LA, on a good day at least.
The video of them walking the sidewalks interviewing strangers that were bold enough to go on an adventure made you want to feel the same sun they were obviously surrounded in. The couch had been your home for the last hour, a window open to let in some light, shining gold streaks through the room, but it wasn't enough.
The rules that plagued yourself were on a repeat in your head as you clicked on another video, then another, and another. You were not supposed to be spending too much time staring at a screen. You weren't supposed to drive, or go out on your own because you are still healing. You're not supposed to be in such sunny areas it could hurt your eyes still. Don't do this, don't do that.
It is suffocating. Infuriating that the list of long don'ts probably repeats through Chris’s head like a mantra, that's why he won't touch you. That's why he won't let you touch him.
Anger slowly flowed through your mind as you started to lose focus on the video playing. You closed the app and opened google maps, staring at the words ‘Venice Beach’ in correlation to where you were stuck inside, across the city. It was like torturing yourself. A silent battle of wanting to just go, go and then think about it later.
You slowly rolled your shoulders back as you sat up on the cushions of the couch that were not as comfy as you had hoped. The time on the lock screen taunted back at you. You could go and make it back in enough time to be home before Chris got back. You scoffed at the thought. He wouldn't be happy, but you were an adult. A very capable adult who can make their own choices. Staying in your bubble of Byron almost makes you forget your own sense of independence. He doesn't get to decide what you can and can't do.
The bathroom light shone a tad brighter than the natural lighting in the living room, eyes squinting quickly at the flush. You moved to the sink to wash your face, pulled a hair tie to braid your hair, and picked out some clothes.
Double checking for your wallet and phone in your purse brought on second thoughts. You never answered his text. He probably wouldn't notice for a while anyway. You pushed away the small ache of neglect that settled inside, it wasn't his fault. He was working. It’s when he wasn't working, that's when brush offs hurt the most.
Checking your makeup again in the mirror to make sure the covering was adequate over the blueing bruises, you made your way out, pulling the door behind you after ordering an Uber to Venice.
Los Angeles wasn't all the glitz and glam that movies made it out to be. You learned that pretty fast last time you all had been here, with the kids. Having a temporary place in Burbank meant crossing the city often, though a quick commute for Chris. The studios were not but a 6 minute drive away. Ideal, yes. But fun, no.
The drive seemed quick, the driver was slightly chattier than what you thought was normal but you were not complaining. You may have just had a week with more adult action than you’d had in the last few months combined but you were never one to be impolite. You didn't say much, only that you've never visited Venice before and didn't know why, so you just said ‘why not?’.
When the vehicle came to a stop and a moment of regret flushed forward, but you pushed it back quick. Going by yourself was not the worst thing in the world. How else were you going to be able to see what you wanted to see? You didn't know anybody here in L.A. other than Chris. It wasn't like you could call Miley up and ask her to stroll around town with you. Well, you could. But - not like this.
You adjusted your own sunglasses as you walked the last block towards the water. The art on the walls were bright and gave off calm vibes. A skateboard whizzed past you quickly, catching you off guard. You sidestepped to the right of the sidewalk and watched him ride past you and others, closer towards the shops. Clutching your bag closer to your body, you continued, rounding the corner to what was familiar from the videos you had been so enamoured with.
Towering palm trees. Bikes, so many bikes. So many skateboards. You looked around a moment after making sure you were out of the walk way, admiring the ease of the people around. The skatepark up on the hill and the art lining the sidewalks it was all what you hoped to see from the video.
The shops were cute, making your way through a few. So many surf shops and all you could think about was guilt that Chris didn't know you left the apartment. Everything reminds you of him. A fire fight started in your brain - consisting of respect you had for having a partner versus having a sense of independency. You didn't have to disclose every footstep, you never expected him to, at least.
The spiral of your thoughts continued as you strolled across the sidewalks, leaving behind the shops. You took a seat in the grass overlooking the busy basketball courts and pulled your phone out. Ignoring the warmth on your shoulders from the sun, you checked for any notifications and were met with none.
Did you have a right to feel the way you were feeling at the moment?
Was it selfish? Was it hormones? Forget that.
But were you chalking it up to be something more, just a spiral of thoughts when he wasn't there to discredit them? Your clouds caused a moment of zoning out as you pondered.
You both spent all day yesterday together, he even made you dinner, working in the kitchen with music playing while you watched him from the couch. Admiring and happy to see him. A glint in your eyes that stayed, unsubdued. A girl can't help but be worked up when she had gone so long without him, pregnancy hormones were no help to the cause. All you wanted was for him to acknowledge what you had been repeatedly showing off.
You were horny.
There was no other way to put it. And a healing head injury was not going to magically make the want disappear, even if it seemed to have made the want disappear from himself. The thought made your stomach clench, remembering when he turned around and caught you staring at him with lustful, shameless eyes.
He knew the look. He knew it very well. But what happened when his eyes met you made your blood run cold, your feet quickly allowing you to leave the room so the hitch in your breath wasn't caught by his ears.
He had looked away from your gaze with a sigh, turning his back to you. Another word didn't leave his mouth until he had come to find you in the bedroom to tell you that dinner was ready. He stopped himself from pushing open the door when he heard you talking. The sadness in your voice, clouded with tears as you spoke to whoever was on the other line.
“We had such a good day, I had such a good day,” you corrected. “But, but I just-” you stopped a moment, taking in a shaking breath to gather your thoughts. He looked at his feet, bowing his head when the upset nature of the phone call settled in his mind.
“I just miss him so much Bri, and I feel like he just doesn't see me. I feel -”
Your speech was cut off by yelling through the line of the phone. You sucked in a breath and it came out in a shudder, trying to calm your own emotions. He didn't know what she was saying but it silenced you. He felt heavy with guilt that he was the source of your anguish. He needed to stop being weak. He was scared to hurt you but here he was, causing you pain repeatedly until he was the source of your tears. He didn't know if you were crying or not, but he could feel the pain and confusion behind your words.
You started to wrap up the call. A sting of “I know”s and “Okay”s spilled off your tongue and he made his way back to the kitchen, hoping you wouldn't feel upset if you knew that he was listening.
He stood plating the stir fry when you made your way back into the room with a grim smile, peaking at him and muttering ‘thank you’.
You remembered how he led you to the couch and played a random movie on the TV while you ate. He pulled you close to him when you both cleared you plates. The rush that had flooded through you made you blush. You sat there snuggled to him for almost an hour before you both headed to bed and he didn't touch you again.  He said all the right things, but words were hard at having such a meaning when his actions were iffy.
“I love you.”
“I'm glad you're here with me.”
“I missed you.”
“I love you, so much,” he would say with a rub on your arm.
A small kiss to your temple and you rolled on your side away from him, closing your eyes. Unbeknownst to you, he felt a bit of his heart break away when he watched you reach for the blankets and tug them to your shoulders, seeking them out for warmth rather than himself.
The empty notification screen mocked you, clicking the phone off once again. You looked up at your surroundings to admire the feel. It was busy, but not uncomfortably so. The skatepark behind you was bustling, and so were the basketball courts in front of you. But right there, where the grass was a soft green and you leaned against the raised plateau behind you, it was serene. Fairly quiet for the crowd around, but it was as if the sound didn't carry. The seagulls above were gliding, and the faint clicks of skate wheels hitting the ground blurred into the background noise of music coming from the shops.
It was a good spot to think. Something you have alway done far too much of.
The buzz in your hand had you snaping your head towards it, a dull ache spreading down your neck at the swift movement. The message had you jumping to your feet, making your way to the corner where you were dropped off.
“Almost done here. In the mood to go out for food?”
~
He beat you home, only by a minute though it seemed. As you were stepping out of the car and thanking the driver, your phone started ringing. You declined, tossing it into the mess of a purse you had as you made your way inside to the elevators, favoring talking to him in person instead.
The ride up seemed to go by faster than any other time before, allowing your nerves to revv in the light of Chris possibly being upset. The padding of your shoes made it to the door, your hand pushing it open.
His eyes met yours when the door opened and unsurprisingly the first words out of his mouth were, “where were you?”
“I just needed to get out for a bit,” you acknowledged lightly, setting your purse on the counter tops. You didn't meet his eyes, turning your back and digging for your phone. His voice was laced with curiosity, not expecting you to not be there when he arrived, even if you were only off by a mere minute or two.
“Where did you go?” He asked, keeping his feet planted. You turn to see him. He truly had just gotten here, a bag still thrown over his shoulder and shoes still on his feet. His brows furrowed as you met his eyes and then diverted from them again, absentmindedly rubbing your temple where bruises were covered.
“I went to Venice Beach, I haven't been there before and I just want to walk aro-”
“How did you get to Venice? Did you go by yourself?” He worried on with a malice tone. Your ears were growing red as he spoke.
“Yes I went by myself, who else would I have gone with?” You hissed at him. You could already feel your hands shaking. You knew you had worked yourself up today while you were out and were just waiting for the point to start a fight. Still completely confused on whether he deserved it or not, but you were beyond frustrated.
“I don't know anybody here! I have one friend who I barely see! Yes! I went by myself. I needed to be around people. I'm lonely!” You raised your voice at him. He stepped towards you with his hands out when your defense shot up. You crossed your arms around yourself protectively, delivering a sign of needing to be comforted, even if by your own arms.
“I'm sick of being by myself!” You told him as he grew closer, watching with pained eyes as you laid it out for him. “I just - God I don’t know. I just - I needed to get out and do something.”
“Hey,” he calmed. “Im right here.”
“No, Chris!” You pushed his outstretched hands away from your own. “You're not.” You took a deep breath while he stood speechless, catching an eyeful of the hurt you were carrying on your shoulders.
“Princess,” he pleaded, waiting for you to take a look at him but your eyes were wandering to any surface but his.You couldn't get the right words out to say. It had always been like this when you grew frustrated, your own vocabulary runs from your thoughts. You grew silent as a tear finally fell from your eyes but was quickly wiped away by his own fingers. When you didn't protest his touch he took that as a good sign. He muttered your name in surrender.
“What do you want me to do?” He watched for a reaction. “Tell me what I can do.” He was at a loss. Spending more time apart than together was a strain that was eerily familiar and it pressed down on him so hard he was ready to beg for understanding. He wanted to understand what he could do to make this better but what you said next caught him off guard, rendering him silent and confused.
“Do you love me?”
His eyes burned at the yearning of your question. The watery eyes that flicked to his in search of an answer. His lips were dropped open at the turn of events this evening had taken. He thought about this evening all day. He was going to let you choose the place for dinner and shower you with dessert, with love, and affection to make up for what he had overheard. He wanted to show you the beautiful diamond that had your name written all over it and ask a very important question.
He was too quiet, mulling over how he had gotten to this point while you stood with uncertainty, continuing on your quest of finding answers.
“I know I'm starting to look different,” your head bowed at the revelation that he might not like what he sees. “And we are so far apart alot, but I'm still me.”
He spoke your name, drawing himself from his silent trance, wanting you to stop now and not speak another incredulous word.
“My face,” you whispered sadly. “It will go away in a little bit...” The whole in your chest was opening, grabbing a hold of your voice and refusing to let another word out.
“Baby, stop,” his words filled the empty void when yours ceased. He eyed a hand of yours making its way to your neck, a sign of discomfort. He stopped it in its tracks and pulled you to his chest.
His arms cocooned you, holding you far too tight to be comfortable, but you needed it. To feel he was there and there with you. He pressed you head to his chest with the revelation of disregarding his own hesitancy of somehow hurting you with his touch. His heartbeat melding with your own as you froze, slowly melting your guard until tears wet his shirt.
If his goal was to keep you from harm, he failed. It was proven when you released the tension from your shoulders against his grip. His words repeated until you showed signs of listening. Words of reassurance and love. Words filled with apologies and pleads for you to forgive him for causing you this pain. He was naive to think of you in such a way. To make up a version of yourself that was weak or fragile. He lost sight of the fire you have in your veins when happiness emits from your aura. The glow you have when your body shakes from laughter. The strong independent girl that rounded the corner of his kitchen and introduced herself without a glitch of uncertainty. But here you were asking for reassurance and he knew it was his own fault.
You cried in his arms, letting him carry your weight from the room before he sat down on the bed and let you take a moment to breathe, curled atop his knees and listening to his voice.
“Hey,” He said, lifting a hand from your shoulder to run over his face, drying the wetness that plagued his own skin. “You are so beautiful that it takes my breath away. Perfect. And I mean in every sense. You will always be perfect. Princess I never want to hear you say those words again. You are so perfect. And always will be. We have a little baby growing.” You took a deep breath, picking your head off his shoulder and reaching down to lay a hand over the swell in your tummy.
“A baby!” He said, laying a hand over your own, though waiting for you to meet his eyes again. “You will look different, princess, and I will be here and love every single minute of it. I promise. No doctor appointments with Bri, I will be here. And this,” He brushed your hair away from your face, fingers lingering against your scalp. Your head tilted up and basked in the touch.
“This I take responsibility for. It eats me up inside, but you still take my breath away. Every time, and always will.” He watched as you looked at him and listened intimately to what he was saying. “And I want to be the person you go places with. You can go alone if you like,” he added, “but I will never not want to be by your side. Do you understand me?”
You look on a second more, gauging his expression and contemplating his words before you nod. “No more tears, please.” His hands moved to cradle your face, thumbs clearing the skin and in a flash his lips met yours. Filled with promise, he kissed you like you wished he would for days. You craved his taste and was letting you have it, finally feeding into the small fire in the pit of your stomach.
“I love you so much,” he whispered against your lips.
“I have something I want to show you,” he admitted, pulling away. A deep, clarifying breath escaped your lungs and he rubbed your back in turn, reaching in his pocket for his phone with the other hand.
His fingers fumbled across the screen, having to reenter the password twice. You looked away and laid your head into the crock of his neck, closing your eyes. Whatever it was, surely it could wait while your heart mellowed to a regular pace.
The peace was cut short when he whispered your name again, drawing your eyes open. He pushed his phone from his hand and into yours.
“There’s an album right here with your name on it.” You looked on at his camera albums listed on the bright screen. “And I want you to look through it.” He was certain with his words, urging you on.
“Why?” you asked, looking back up at him.
“I love you so much princess, I just want to show you, I want for you to know it and never question it again.” His sincerity was clear, nodding back down towards the phone in your hands. You opened it without a word and clicked on a photo. It was nice, from a few months back, but neither you nor India were looking towards him. She sat in front of you on the kitchen counter, clearly way past her bedtime. Both of you sneaking a bowl of ice cream but what stood out was the smile adorning both of your faces. Crazy hair and slightly sunburned cheeks laughing at each other. You remembered the night clearly, both of you having a private running joke to see how much ice cream you both could eat before Papa notices and “makes us eat salad for dinner”.
You sneaked a look up at him after glancing at the photo, “You know we sneak ice cream all the time, right?”
“Sure do,” he laughed in return. “Keep going.”
You looked back down at the phone and swiped to see another. A photo snuck from the doorway while you rested your head in your hand, elbows on the table as you watched the boys write something out on some paper in the homeschool room, reaching out with the other hand to point at something on Tristans’ sheet.
The next one was you sitting at the foot of the couch while India stood tall above you trying to put a braid in your locks while Sasha sat on your legs with a book in his hand. It was serene, calm. You pressed down on the picture to watch the Live, a short clip of fingers tangling in your hair and Sasha's voice reading aloud. You stifle a smile at it.
The next made you suck in a breath. You were sleeping in his bed at home, the sheet barely covering you. The curve of your back disappearing into the sheets, obviously sleeping in the nude, unaware of the camera pointed at you.
“Chris!” You teased, looking at him. And smirked and shrugged his shoulders, encouraging you again to continue. You brought your attention back to the photos, swiping through more and more. There were many and you kept going at a steady pace until another caught your eye.
You brought the screen to your eyes to examine it, brows furrowing in curiosity. Sasha’s room, although slightly messy, was easily recognizable as you lounged on the bed in the background, lying next to the boy.
Fingers trapping a small ring with an identifiable glow thrusting off the jewel perched atop. The pads of your fingers zoomed in on the object, at the same time, fairly sure your lungs stopped working.
You quickly swiped to the next picture, though the same ring adorned the foreground.
This time you stood against the bathroom counter brushing out your hair.  The circle of jewelry resting around his own finger, reaching just below the first knuckle before it got stuck. You stared at the daring ring, resisting the urge to look at the man whose chest was pressed against your shoulder, whose arm rested across your back, rubbing gently, urging for you to continue.
You covered your mouth at the next one, fingers resting across your lips in astonishment. The bare skin of your shoulders were accented by the waves of your hair falling over them. Eyes closed, rested against his chest in search of sleep. He was cheeky, smiling in the photo, showing off a glowin diamond on a ring far too small for his own fingers.
The next picture was another of the same nature. Then a photo of you reaching for a glass in the kitchen. One of you sleeping on a plane. One of you naked, behind the blurred glass of the shower doors. One of you staring intently at your phone while standing at the counter. One of you standing in the mirror, examining, no - admiring the form of your growing baby.
You knew Chris was up to something, fidgeting after taking that photo, looking guilty as all get out. A brief watery laugh escaped as you reached that one.
The next was hilarious, Ellen with her face over your shoulder, with a surprised look, staring right at the camera. She knew!
You looked up at him, waiting for an answer to these photos. He just smiled and nudged you till you finished. There were more, a few more, as recent as this morning before he snuck away to go to set.
“It’s for you, love,” his voice whispers against the skin of your neck, lowering his lips to press a kiss where he knows you melt no matter the circumstance. An arm tightened around your back as he leaned forward and reached under the mattress, pulling a hidden box from the crease. You glazed at it as he switched hands and then brought it to you, flipping it open.
It was there, in person and not in a photo, demanding attention is the slyest of ways. It was beautiful, extravagant with an essence of simplicity. Words were caught in your throat as you stared at it, slowly blurring from your vision from unwelcome tears.
“Will you marry me?”
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