#and if u want to call me a hypocrite for saying this when i had a crush on a white guy irl then do it because I'm not talking abt

[robotpussy]

anyways there really is too much interracial couples with white ppl propaganda going on rn cause I've been seeing white ppl left and right for MONTHS claim any black person either critiquing the abundance of this existing in media rn because it is not only a marketing ploy in some cases, they have to include white people because of the thing white people do where they force themselves to see themselves in anything they watch (which explains why they turn away from things that don't have a white lead because "they cant relate", or they have to change a character that isn't white to be more appealing to them in fandom)

but it is also done so white people can feel better about themselves by making themselves believe they are not complacent in white supremacy because they have a black partner or simply because ppl don't want to ship a black character with a white one (this month its been about spiderverse obvs) because they simply don't want to or because in the comics a certain character has a black partner are just a bad as racists like WOAH who gave you the authority to speak on shit like this?

[violencebian]

sighs

[bxtchycaprisun]

obstinate (4) | a. anderson

summary: you’re a new medic in the WLF base. you’re young, hardworking, and the thing that abby anderson hated the most, stubborn.

notes: fem!reader, medic!reader, protective!abby, soldier!abby, mentions of injuries, civil conversation (for once 😮), mutual pining, this might be my fav chapter i’ve written so far

taglist: @caitlinisfruity @shaemonyou @mattm1964 @vigelvictoria @liabadoobee @shady-lemur @sweet-lover-girl @sweet-cow-nectar @anxiouso @novadanversss @paleidiot @makepastanotwar13 @juneswonderlust @ratdungeon @elliesrealw1fe @feelsoseencantdream (striked text means i can’t tag u)

an: here it is folks, eat up

MDNI!!

abby’s head hung low as she was hauled to the infirmary.

the bullet that was currently lodged in her shoulder hurt like a bitch. there were beads of sweat adorning her forehead and collarbones, and her brows furrowed from the sharp sting in her arm. but that wasn’t what mattered at the moment. she could care less about the pain.

what she did care about was the fact that her patrol had almost been over, and she was going to enjoy her full day off tomorrow, when she was ambushed, and shot. she had spent the entire day blowing off some steam, and planned to get a well needed night of sleep before an important conversation tomorrow.

believe it or not, she was going to pay a visit to your doorstep that upcoming day. not to apologize, obviously, that wasn’t her style. instead to make a proposition.

but of course, the universe had other plans for her. instead, she felt herself slipping in and out of a pained consciousness as her fellow soldiers lifted her onto a stiff hospital bed.

a familiar hand brushed her face, a thumb pressed firmly against her cheekbone as another finger peeled her eyelid upward, shining a bright light into her pupil. as she squints up at the ceiling, eyes adjusting to the bright infirmary lights, she heard a small chuckle before her.

“christ, anderson,” you shake your head, quick fingers cutting away her t shirt with your fabric scissors. “you’re not looking too hot.”

abby groans, instantly recognizing your familiar voice and soft hands. of course it would be you to treat her. she must have some really damn bad karma.

“don’t-” she shakes her head weakly, voice small, “don’t even start.”

abby was fully conscious now, eyes blown wide and face red as you cleaned up the wound, prepping it for surgery. she watched you with shallow breathes, simply accepting your taunting. she knew she had it coming.

“what was that you said, yesterday?” you ask slowly, voice dripping with sarcasm, “you haven’t been hit on the field in over a year?”

“shut up,” abby says in a hiss, her face pinching as you sanitize the wound. her fingers grip the edge of the bed, knuckles whitening. you notice her pain, and mumble “m’sorry,” as you clean her up. as much as you wish you did, you really didn’t enjoy seeing her like this.

“don’t think.. don’t think this’ll mean i’ll change my mind ‘bout anything,” abby brings up a weak hand, pointing at you with narrowed eyes.

“course not,” you shake your head, biting back a smile. you couldn’t even be upset by her comment. you were stubborn, and so was she. the last thing you wanted to be was a hypocrite.

“listen um-” you bite the inside of your lip, “the bullets shattered.”

she hums frustratedly, “figures.”

“i’m gonna put you under general anesthesia,” you move swiftly, prepping her forearm for an IV as you call over mel to control her dosage.

“try not to kill me while i’m under, will ya?” she says with a frown, but her eyes crease as if she’s smiling.

you laugh quietly, glad to see she was the same old abby, even in her worst.

“another time,” was the last thing she heard before going under.

. . .

abby woke up with little feeling in her body. she didn’t know what time it was, but judging from the dimly lit halls of the infirmary, and quiet buzz of conversation just around then corner, she could tell it was night.

she sat up with a grunt, gripping her left shoulder and feeling around at the intricately wrapped bandages. her eyes travel around the room, landing on the small table beside her. she picked up an orange pill bottle, reading the label carefully.

it was vicodin.

her eyes widen a bit. either mel was feeling generous today, or you had gone out of your way to get her extra good opioids. she furrowed her brows at the thought of the latter.

her gaze lifts as she hears footsteps entering her mostly empty tent. you rub your eyes as you step into the room, and full glass of water in your hand.

you walk to her bedside, smiling tightly. “you’re awake.” you say softly. you place a hand on her uninjured shoulder, and push her back against the bed gently, ignoring her mumbling protests. “you shouldn’t be sitting up.”

you grab the bottle and open it, dumping a single pill onto your hand, whispering, “open”

she nods, accepting the pill you set on her tongue and taking a sip of the water. her voice is hoarse as she speaks. “i’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

you breath in sharply, “you’re talking.”

“no i mean..” she begins, but you cut her off.

“abby, you really should just rest.”

“i’m fine,” she insists, craning her neck forward as she goes to sit up again. you click your tongue, pushing her back down. “please?” she whispers.

you snap your mouth shut, eyeing her suspiciously. “you gonna apologize?”

she scoffs. “no.”

“alright,” you chuckle dryly, “then please just rest.”

“why would i apologize?” she snaps, titling her head. “you should thank me, y’know, for keeping you out of the serevena. i mean, if this is the state i’m in, i can’t imagine how you’d have ended up.”

you roll your eyes, scolding yourself for thinking she’d have been any different today. “thank you, abby” you whisper sarcastically, “for saving my ass, healing my shoulder, and caring for me as i recover.” you take a long pause for dramatic effect. “oh wait. that was me.”

abby opens her mouth to bite back, but looks down. “thank you.” she says quietly. “i did mean to say that sooner. thank you.”

you nod, smiling slightly. “just doin my job.”

abby can’t help it as she says, “you give vicodin to every patient as a part of said job?”

you clench your jaw, feeling exposed. “you’re a top soldier, abby.” you respond slowly, “of course you’re going to get the good stuff.”

she nods, a smile creeping on her lips at your obvious discomfort. “right.”

a familiar silence falls upon the room as you step back from the bed. she watches you with parted lips, looking as if her words are stuck in her throat. “i have.. i have a proposition for you.”

you nearly snort at her choice of words, and you look down at her with an amused smirk. “a proposition?”

she snickers weakly, “i know that sounds weird, but, i need you to hear me out.”

you nod, tensing up a bit at the seriousness of her voice. you didn’t want to begin guessing what this was about. “okay… i’m listening.”

“you want to be able to go on patrol, isn’t that right?” she begins slowly, her voice low.

you nod carefully, humming “that’s right.”

“but from what i’ve seen, i can tell you’re not ready for that, is that correct?”

you inhale with a frown. “that’s what you think, yes.”

she chuckles at your clever remark. “you heard what isaac told the both of us. if you don’t get an okay from me, you can’t patrol.” she says with a grin.

you feel your face growing a bit hot. “what’re you doing abby? you just saying that to rub it in? trust me, you made your point pretty clear when you practically tackled me.”

tackled wasn’t exactly the word you used for it in your head, but it was safer to say than the alternative.

when she pressed you against a wall. when she held you to the ground. when you could practically feel her lips against your neck as she whispered to you. yeah no. tackled it is.

“i’m not trying to prove a point,” she hums, sitting up a bit once again. when you open your mouth to order her to lay back, she hushes you with a hand in your face. “don’t.”

you purse your lips and step back, giving up as she leans forward, large hand on her knee. “you couldn’t fight me off last night.”

your eyes narrow. “no abby. i couldn’t.” you throw your hands up, and cross them over your chest. “but majority of scars aren’t built like y-you..” you gesture at her arms, but trail off, your internal monologue telling you to just stop talking.

“built like what?” her smile is now wide and beaming. her fingers clutch her knee, and you can see her muscles flex. real subtle abby.

“never mind,” you huff. “what i mean, abby, is that most of our enemies aren’t like you. they don’t have a fully equipped gym, high protein diet, or even a steady roof over their heads. just because i can’t handle you, doesn’t mean i can’t handle them.”

“can’t handle me, huh?” she smirks and you nearly boil over.

she didn’t know why she was doing this. she shouldn’t flirt with you right now. she needed to convince you, not fluster you. but seeing the red tint on your cheeks, she just couldn’t help it.

and for you, watching her lick her lips, toned stomach exposed as she sits in only a black sports bra, you became weak.

“stop that.” you say quickly, your lips pulled into a stern pout.

“stop what?” she cocks her head.

“you- you know what- just.” you groan. “just get to your point, anderson.”

“you only call me that when you’re trying to act mad at me.”

“i don’t need to act mad, i am mad.”

“sure you are,” she puts a pretend frown on, “so mad.”

“abby…” you say her name warningly. “i don’t know what you think you’re doing, but it’s not working. get to your point.”

her smile softens a bit, and she sighs, humming your name. “you really won’t ever let me try to get along with you, will you?”

her questions catches you off guard a bit. you sit down on the edge of her firm bed, tucking your hair behind your ear. “that’s a two way street, abby.”

“what do you mean by that?”

“i mean.. you don’t let me get along with you either.” you say with a small shrug, “i feel like every time we have a conversation, you always find something to get on me about. and we end up fighting.”

abby sighs. “well that’s because… you always give me a reason to be upset.”

“or… because you overreact about things.” you say simply.

normally, abby would argue further. but watching the way your expression remains calm as you speak makes her soft. you were trying, and maybe she could do the same.

“maybe i do.”

her sentence is short, and her voice is firm. a lot was said in just those few words. it was more than she’d ever been able to admit in the past.

you surprise yourself as you hear the next words leave your mouth. “and maybe i… was a little too hard on you when you talked to isaac. i… didn’t mean what i said in the cafeteria.. about.. you thinking your better then everyone else.”

“i don’t.. think that.” she shakes her head with a grin, “only that i’m better than you.” her voice is playful, and it makes you crack a smile in return.

you look away from her, taking a deep breath as you listened to the whir of the fans in the tent. you could feel her eyes on you, and it makes your face hot.

you were still angry at her. you still couldn’t give her the satisfaction of thinking she was let off the hook.

she may have been charming, and her voice may be smooth, and she may make you nervous. and it was hard to ignore the fight in your mind as you look at her face, struggling to decide whether to memorize every freckle on her skin or just stare at her lips.

but she jeopardized your role in the WLF. she humiliated you, and she underestimated you, and she made you so desperately miss the girl you had first met.

she was acting awfully like that girl right now.

she wasn’t yelling at you, she was smiling at you. it made your stomach hurt.

you take a deep breath, finally meeting her eyes. “you… had a proposition,” you begin, “what was it?”

a part of you prayed that she would say something that made you mad again. it was easier that way. she was so much easier to be mad at when she wasn’t staring at you like she never meant a thing she did.

abby smiles. “you want to go on patrols, you have to train with me.”

you inhale from your nose, shaking your head. “abby, no.”

she whispers your name, followed by a “yes.”

“i’ll help you learn to shoot. i’ll help you learn to fight. i’ll make sure you can protect yourself.”

you frown, lowering your head. you couldn’t do this. you couldn’t be around her like this. she made you crazy. she made you want something she couldn’t give you.

you practically scream in your mind, yelling to snap the hell out of it! the two of you are constantly bouncing from simple conversations to jumping for each others throats. if you wanted to keep your sanity, and your dignity, you needed to avoid.

“that’s not gonna happen, abby,” you shake your head.

she doesn’t look surprised, nor does she look disappointed. she was determined.

“you’re never gonna go on patrol if you don’t agree to this.” she states.

you exhale through your teeth, rolling your eyes. “you’re… impossible.”

she chuckles, leaning towards you. “i’m not,” she laughs, “it’s a simple request. then i’ll leave you alone forever. free reign on the field.”

“i don’t have time for that, abby,” you shake your head, “i work too much here in the infirmary. it’s not gonna happen.”

“that’s exactly why you need me,” her voice is almost pleading. “you’re going to go insane in here. how long have you been here, anyways?”

“what do you mean?”

“how long have you been working? you were here before i came in, and you’re still here.”

“i’m used to it.” you respond quickly.

“how long,” she pressed with a raised eyebrow.

you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose between your fingers. “it’s a 24 hour shift. i’m almost over.”

she watches you through her blond lashes, her eyes softening.

she had always been praised for her work in the WLF. she got so many special privileges, attention, and respect. her work was rewarded, and people looked up to her.

and then there as you.

worked to the bone. face sunken from lack of sleep, yet a smile still so beautiful. you never got the recognition you deserved. you never got the love you deserved.

but from the way she was looking at you alone, you felt more appreciated than ever before.

“you don’t deserve that,” her voice is soft and gentle.

you remain silent as you stare at each other.

“when’s the last time you left the base?”

“uh-” you pause for a moment, “since the patrol with you.”

she sighs, leaning back a bit as her tongue rolls on the inside of her cheek. “you’re gonna go crazy if you stay in here.”

“yeah,” you answer, “thanks to you.” you instantly frown at yourself. why was this all you knew? why couldn’t you be civil?

abby doesn’t flinch from your words, however, only smiles more.

“you need me.”

you instantly break eye contact as she says this, your cheeks warming up.

“i-,” you exhale quickly, “what- what does that mean?”

“i mean, you need me to help you. i promise you, if you just train with me for a little while, i’ll let you go on whatever patrol you want.”

you shake your head, looking down, but she presses on.

“please? i just- i need to see that.. that you’ll be okay out there.”

“i will be.” your voice is shaky, meeting her same level of desperation. “just let me go. you’ll see, abby, you’ll see.”

“i’m not going to take that kind of risk,” her voice is more stern, “not when you can prove that to me here, in the safety of the base.”

“i’m not doing that, abby, so you can just forget it,” you can’t hide the frustration in your voice.

“why are you so god damn stubborn?” she raises her voice and you widen your eyes.

“i’m a grown woman, abby,” your tone is low, “i don’t need your help. and i don’t need your approval, so you can just forget it. i’d rather stay here at the infirmary, and go crazy.”

abby’s jaw clenches, and she rolls her head back. “you- just let me.. please?”

“no, okay?” you stand up. “look… i’ve gotta get back to work.” you reach to grab your bag, preparing to leave.

abby’s voice is sharp, and almost mean as she calls out to you. “are you even happy?”

you look at her with raised eyebrows, completely dumbfounded. “what?”

“you heard me.”

you stare at her, mouth open slightly. all you did was work, struggle to fall asleep, and suppress your feelings. happiness wasn’t something on your mind. it didn’t seem achievable.

“that doesn’t even matter,” you turn around again, but her voice stops you. your back faces her as she speaks.

“you need me.” she says quietly.

you don’t turn around as you respond. “what.. what are we even talking about right now?”

your question was bold, but so was her statement. were you reading this wrong? her words made you feel so light headed.

“i think you know what i’m talking about,” she says, tone low and sultry. you swallow hard, trying to stop your body from shaking.

when you don’t respond, abby takes it as a rejection.

“i’m sorry- that was.. that was out of line- i just mean, i think getting out of this place will give you some peace of mind,” she sounds almost insecure, “you need it.”

you can’t risk turning back around, fear of her seeing your red face, or the way your legs squeeze together. why’d she have to take it back?

your response is slow and soft. “i’ll.. i’ll be fine, abby. you should rest.” and you leave her with that as you exit the room, not daring to breath until you were out of her eyesight.

. . .

to your ultimate despair, you didn’t see abby anderson for an entire week.

you didn’t return to her bedside until she was admitted. you didn’t see her in the cafeteria, even when you went during normal breakfast hours. you didn’t see her stop into the infirmary. you didn’t see her anywhere.

and you knew it was purposeful.

you had shut her down, turned her away. and she didn’t know how to accept it.

even when she tried to be nice, and understanding, and patient, you still wouldn’t agree to a thing.

she didn’t want to see you, or talk to you, or spy on you anymore. she knew if she did, she’d just start begging again. and she had to stop doing that.

so she did the only thing she knew how.

she avoided.

but for you, on the other hand. you didn’t even have the time to make sense of it.

with a weak total of 30 hours of sleep in the last week, and 3 consecutive 12 hour shifts the last few days, you were truly going out of your mind.

you were, once again, a walking corpse. you slept during the entire day in your dungeon of a room, and woke up in the night to slave away in the infirmary.

you rarely saw sunlight, rarely went outside for fresh air. you barely ate, or showered, or even spoke.

and ever since abby had asked you if you were happy, that’s all you craved. to feel happy.

you’re body ached with both the need of something different, and from the soreness of your neck.

you treated countless soldiers with minor injuries, beaming smiles on their faces as they cackles with their counterparts, sharing stories of their excitement out on the field.

your heart stang with jealousy.

one soldier mentioned how abby had found a way into an old record store, collecting dozens of practically untouched records and bringing them home to distribute based on who she knew liked the artists.

she kept the Siamese Dream album by The Smashing Pumpkins for herself.

that night you dreamed of listening to it with her.

you woke up at midnight, your shift only hours away. only this time, you didn’t plan on going to it.

your body was hot and your skin felt tingly as you emerged from the covers. your pajama shorts hung loosely by your hips, swallowed by the old t shirt on your shoulders. you ran your fingers through your hair, and let out a groan of frustration.

you wanted her. you needed her.

and you wanted out of this damn base.

one of those things, you knew a way to make happen.

you told yourself to turn around as your slippered feet padded down the halls of the base. you told yourself you decided that you wouldn’t do this. wouldn’t give in to her demands, and deal with your job in the infirmary.

but your head heart from your lack of vitamin d, and your joints ached from your lack of movement.

your frown was nearly cemented onto your face from your lack of abby.

abby.

which is why you shut down your doubt, and brought your shaking fist to her door, knocking gently.

she didn’t open at first, and you wait with a trembling figure, eyes wide and desperate. but eventually, you hear the lock click, and the door swings open.

“what do you-,” she begins as she scratches the back of her neck, but stops when she sees you before her, her hand dropping to her side.

she takes in your state. your hair is messy and wild. your eyes are glossy, and you smell like sleep and cinnamon. you part your puffy lips, and she feels weak in the knees as she watches you. she whispers your name, and you finally speak.

“i- i need you.”

[despairots]

#𝐀𝐍 𝐄𝐏𝐇𝐘𝐑𝐀 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐌: YUTA OKKOTSU.

「 yuta okkotsu x male! reader 」

GENRE: fluff, just fluff :3 oh, and like a REALLY quick makeout but its really just fluff, i think a bit of angst tho?

CONTENT WARNING: swearing, violence, r! helps yuta with his injuries, i have no idea what the plot is anymore, r! is like kyouka from bsd and has her ability “demon snow”, rika doesnt like r! that much :,(, “demon snow” is somewhat like rika, so rika - yuta and “demon snow” - r!

AUTHORS: stop. changing. themes. *holds me by the throat and shakes me* no but seriously the more i change it the more i have to change my layout which i do NOT want anyways happy furina day!!! we luv u queen

there’s something that makes people believe you just lack emotions. maybe it’s the you didn’t react to people’s insult, or maybe it’s the way it looks like you’re always in a daze. yeah, you don’t exactly have anything going on in your head and yes, you’re always in a daze but somewhat, you’ve always gave off this rebellious energy, like something was attached to you that’s radiating this energy off.

so when yuta saw a curse behind you while assisting him, he wondered if that was the thing that was radiating off the rebellious energy from your “jellyfish aura” that his other friends would call it. just knowing you hid something below the facade you upheld was admirable, you always had this look that made people think your mind was somewhere else when you are aware.

and the way your voice shouted commands for your curse while you still held that alluring look before you switched your attention to him and helped him up when the enemy was being distracted by your curse, all he could do was stare when you asked if he was injured.

he knew rika didn’t like you holding him so carefully and— oh? you’re so close — making sure he didn’t fall to the ground while the both of you ran from the area. now, he’s watching you patch up his wounds so delicate that he’s convinced you’re afraid that you might hurt him.

yuta doesn’t know if he should speak, ask if you’re okay when he’s the one clearly injured, ask about the ring that’s on a necklace and dangling around your neck. he wonders if you were almost like him, that explains why he was so drawn to you. maki, inumaki and panda (plus gojo) already picked up that you caused him to be rather flustered.

the first time you two met was when yuta was first introduced to you. you had officially came back from your trip and his friends had wanted to throw you a party since they haven’t seen you in awhile. his friends often described you to be somewhat like a jellyfish, he was a tad bit confused by the wording but he understood when you walked into the classroom.

“welcome back, [name]!”

“kelp.”

you just had this look in your eyes when panda scooped you up and hugged you, the way one of your eyes closed when panda smushed your cheeks together and the small— and very unnoticeable — smile on your face when you realized you were missed made him blush.

“this is yuta, he’s new, so try not to overwhelm him. he’s delicate.” maybe when maki had said that, you started to treat him like some doll. always making sure your touches weren’t harming his already injured skin— and he could technically feel rika fuming — with the focused look on your face.

the one thing bugging him was the ring. were you already married or did you dedicate your life to someone else? although, he sounded awfully like a hypocrite right now. he was wearing the ring rika had given him.

“… what’re you thinking about?”

that was the first time he had heard you spoken in such a quiet, yet calm and alluring, tone towards him specifically. he was once told that you didn’t talk a lot and always kept to yourself, only allowing yourself to talk when on the battlefield.

he was shocked nonetheless, the tone of your face had caused him to jump a little and his cheeks to flare up. what should he say in this? should he tell the truth and ask if you were married? but you probably already figured that out by how hard he was staring at the ring.

“oh. um… are you married?” yuta asked timidly, averting his gaze to the ground, hearing the chair scrap and he’s wondering if the question was too insensitive. you only got up to dim the lights as a headache was starting to form before you sat back down infront of yuta.

you grabbed ahold of his cheek and turned to face it towards you, “are you?” you had shot the question back to him and let go of his cheeks, feeling his cheeks heat upon the hand on his cheek. yuta knew you were gesturing to the ring on his finger and he didn’t know how to respond.

he was married but at the same time he wasn’t, he’d seem unfaithful to rika but everytime you touched him, protected him, and now, talking to him, he blushed. and you had picked that up rather quickly.

you hummed, hands wrapping around the ring and looking down at your lap, “i was. he died though.” the way you said it so casually had caught him off guard, but your situation was similar to him aswell. yuta picked up the way your hand tightened around the ring as he stared down at his, fiddling it around his ring finger.

“the cursed spirit that’s always around you. what’s her name?” he looked back at you, blinking and suddenly, you just looked… too unrealistic? was that the right weird to describe you? “her name’s rika.” and you smiled. his heart started to pound against his rib cage when you held a soft smile, “you’d love her no matter what form, huh?”

he wondered if you were rika if she was a male and your sentence made sense to him. now, he wondered about your cursed spirit, “what about yours?” “yuta.” hearing his name come out your lips had him confused, were you trying to tell him that you didn’t wanna speak about it or—

“oh. oh!”

the cursed spirit was named yuta. you weren’t trying to call out his name, you were trying to tell him that the cursed spirt’s name was his name. you lightly smiled amusingly at his reactions, “i don’t think rika likes me very much… nor do i think yuta likes you.” it seemed that way. yuta could feel rika wanted to kill you and you could feel “yuta” glaring daggers at the boy infront of you.

turns out you two were the same.

you stood up from your chair before bending down to yuta’s height and placing a kiss on the corner of his lips. were you trying to die? did you want yuta to die?! no. honestly enough. like yuta, you would’ve loved your cursed spirit no matter the form aswell.

“i like you, yuta.” it was a simple confession yet yuta’s face blew up into red, hearing you walk away. “ah! w-wait!” he had grabbed your wrist and turned you around, wrapping his arms around you and buried his face into the crook of your neck before muttering words that made the tension from your shoulders to relax.

“i… i like you too, [name].” he pulled away and softly placed his lips onto yours. your hands reaching up to cradle his cheeks as yuta backed you up to a desk and helped you sit on top of it before going back to kissing you.

he was a good kisser considering the fact he has never kissed anyone before… well, technically, not a human being.

you pulled away, a string of saliva connecting the both of your lips until it disconnected when your hand was brought up to your mouth and oh, was that blush he saw? were blushing because of him? so cute.

“i don’t think they liked that very much..”

oh right!

[storiesforallfandoms]

favoritism ~ pete davidson

word count: 2171

request?: yes!

@absstark​ “Hi! Ik your requests are closed atm but if u are able to, would you please be able to write me a Pete Davidson x female reader where they are dating and she’s a writer at SNL? Thank you 😊”

description: in which he’s dating one of the writers of his show, so the cast often jokes about her favoritism for him

pairing: pete davidson x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two, three)

It was actually quite ironic how everything started.

Pete was out at a bar with a couple of his SNL friends when he noticed a pretty girl sat by herself. He didn’t want to seem like a weird guy by just staring at her, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. She was breathtakingly beautiful.

He felt someone nudge him and he looked up to see they were all looking at him. “Sorry, what were you guys saying?”

Colin smirked at him. “Go talk to her/”

“What? No, I can’t.”

“Why can’t you?” Michael asked. “She’s alone over there.”

“For one, we don’t know if she’s actually here alone. She might have a date who’s in the bathroom, or she’s waiting for him to show up. She might even have a boyfriend who’s not here. And two, girls don’t like being approached by strange men in bars. She’ll probably think I’m a fucking creep.”

They were all giving him a similar look before Devon grabbed his shoulders, turned him towards the bar, and gave him a shove. He stumbled slightly, almost bumping into another person along the way. He regained his footing and glanced over at the woman to make sure she hadn’t seen. With the encouragement of his friends, he took a deep breath and made his way across the bar.

“Hey,” he started, very lamely. She looked up and gave him a polite smile. “I’m sorry if I’m bothering you, but my buddies kind of peer pressured me to come talk to you and I’m mainly doing this to get them off my back. If you just want to reject me, I’ll happily back off.”

She chuckled and glanced over Pete’s shoulder. “Are they the group very obviously staring at us right now?”

Pete followed her gaze to see his friends watching them like a pack of hawks. They didn’t even have the decency to look away when they were caught. Colin even smiled and waved his fingers at them.

“Yeah, those are my asshole friends,” Pete confirmed.

She smiled and waved at the group before turning back to Pete. “Here, sit with me. Give them something to talk about.”

Pete pulled up a stool next to her. He extended a hand towards her. “I’m Pete.”

“(Y/N). Nice to meet you.”

They talked at the bar for hours. They hardly noticed the other patrons starting to clear out or the blaring music starting to die down as the bar did its last call. Pete didn’t even notice his friends had left until the bartender had come to give them the last warning before closing. Before they parted ways, (Y/N) gave Pete  her number and told him to text her the next day.

“Just so I know you’re actually interested,” she had said before walking away.

And he had. The moment he woke up, he texted her, “Hope texting you this soon doesn’t seem to desperate, but I’m very interested - Pete.”

Near seconds later, he got a response. “I’d be a hypocrite if I called you desperate. I’ve been waiting for you to text me since I woke up.”

They texted back and forth all day. Pete was almost late to work because he was too busy texting to realize the time. When he arrived on set he was radiating with happiness. He hadn’t felt hits way in a long time. He had a really good feeling about this one. A strong feeling he hadn’t had before in any of his relationships. There was no doubts this time around.

His castmates noticed his good mood and asked what was up, but he just responded with a shrug and played it off. The guys who had been out the night before knew exactly where his good mood was coming from, but Pete decided to keep it to himself. He didn’t want to get too ahead of himself and tell everyone about (Y/N) just yet.

“Hey, Pete!” Lorne called as he spotted Pete making his way to set.

“Hey Lorne,” Pete said. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to introduce you to our new writer. She’s starting today, so try not to scare her away just yet.”

Pete chuckled, but it died off when Lorne stepped aside and gestured to the newbie. “(Y/N)?���

Her eyes widened, too. “Pete?”

“You two know each other?” Lorne asked.

“We met last night,” (Y/N) responded.

Lorne looked between the two of them. “You...met last night?”

“Not like that,” Pete assured him. “We met at a bar and just talked all night. We exchanged numbers, that’s it.”

Lorne had a skeptical look on his face that made Pete’s heart drop to his stomach. He knew how this was about to go: he would have to delete (Y/N)’s number and their messages, and he’d have to forget their would be romance before it even started. It was a HR issue, one that they would definitely not be allowed to explore.

This was the quickest broken heart he had ever gotten.

“You know, technically I should be sending you to HR to discuss this,” Lorne started. Both (Y/N) and Pete winced at the idea. “But that’s a lot of time and paperwork, and all that bullshit. So, I’m going to take both of your vocal promises that whatever this is will not interfere with either of your jobs.”

The two of them happily agreed. Lorne nodded and muttered something about leaving before he witnessed something he shouldn’t. That left (Y/N) and Pete alone, a slightly awkward tension in the air.

“You didn’t mention that you’re working for SNL,” Pete said. He meant it to come out lighthearted, but he winced when he realized how accusatory it actually sounded.

“I...actually didn’t know you were on the show,” she admitted. “You never mentioned it. You just said you were an actor.”

Pete chuckled. “Okay, we were both a little untruthful. Maybe we start over on the introductions.” He held his hand out to her. “Hi, I’m Pete. I’m a main actor on  Saturday Night Live.”

(Y/N) giggled and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, Pete. I’m (Y/N), and I just got hired to write for Saturday Night Live.”

“Well, congratulations. And good luck on it. I heard the cast are all assholes, except for that Pete guy. So make sure you give all the funniest jokes to him.”

(Y/N) giggled again, looking down at the ground between them shyly.

It was the start to an amazing relationship. Pete could honestly say he hadn’t felt this happy in a very long time. They kept their personal lives separate from their work lives, which seemed to be the big key to making things work. Nothing was ever discussed about the show unless they were on set, and the minute they walked on the lost their relationship was put on the back burner until they left.

But the moments they had outside of work were some of the best moments of his life. He loved being with (Y/N) and spending most of his free time with her. He was trying not to go too fast with their relationship the way he had in past relationships, but it was hard not to be a bit optimistic with how well things were going.

Of course, dating a co-worker came with some teasing from other co-workers; especially when the other co-workers were fellow comedians. The main joke that the cast liked to tell was that Pete was getting favoritism from (Y/N) when it came to being given the best jokes.

It started during the table read for a skit. They were about halfway through when Punkie cut Pete off mid-joke to proclaim, “No fair, he’s getting the best jokes!”

Everyone stopped to look at her in confusion. They couldn’t tell if the look on her face was serious or not, so Pete asked, “Excuse me?”

“Your jokes here are so much better than mine,” Punkie said. “Must be nice sleeping with one of the writers.”

Punkie laughed, but Pete looked horrified by her “joke”.

“(Y/N) didn’t even write this sketch,” Kenan pointed out.

“That’s a very serious accusation, Punkie,” one of the producers commented.

“Come on, guys, it’s just a joke,” Punkie said. “I’m not mad. Just keep reading.”

Once they finished the table read, Pete decided to approach Punkie himself. “Hey, Punkie, listen. I know what you said was a joke, but...can you maybe be mindful of the way you say it? You could get (Y/N) into a lot of trouble if the wrong people heard what you said.”

“Pete, I didn’t mean it. Everyone knows (Y/N) isn’t actually giving you favoritism in the sketches.”

“I know, I’m just saying to work on your delivery. I really don’t want to have to deal with HR.”

“Okay, I get it. I’ll try to be more funny about it next time.”

And that was truly the wrong thing for Pete to say; for him to agree that if it was clearly said as a joke, that it was fine to say that (Y/N) favorited him. Because once he made the distinction that it was okay to do it in a joking matter, it was like the entire cast had decided they wanted to joke about Pete and (Y/N). It wasn’t anything new for the cast, they joked around with each other all the time. They were all friends, and you had to have a sense of humor if you were gonna be on SNL.

But man, after some time, Pete found it so much more annoying than his castmates meant it to be. He was trying so hard to separate his work life from his personal life, like Lorne had wanted, but now it was like his personal life was open season for all of his friends.

And it was definitely something (Y/N) had noticed. The jokes were never made to her face the same way they were to Pete’s, but she heard the whisperings or the aftermath of certain jokes when approaching Pete. She never said anything at first, which made Pete hope that maybe it didn’t bother her as much as it bothered him.

But one night, as they were leaving set, Pete noticed that (Y/N) seemed distracted. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to him as they walked through the doors onto the lot.

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” he asked.

(Y/N) nibbled on the inside of her cheek before she spoke, “Do your castmates really think I favorite you when writing?”

Pete stopped walking suddenly, causing (Y/N) to stumble a little. He turned to face her and she did the same.

“Baby, of course not. They’re only joking when they say that shit. No one actually believes it,” he assured her.

She shrugged. “I guess, but they say it so much. I’m starting to worry that they actually mean it but don’t want to say it, which could get us both in a lot of trouble if it ever comes back to HR.”

Pete put his hands on her shoulders. “Baby, I promise they do not mean it. If it ever got to HR, they would all swear up and down that they’re joking. They just like to poke fun at me because I had to fall in love with a new writer on set, out of all people. But it’s not serious, I can promise you that.”

A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “You fell in love with me, huh?”

Pete couldn’t help but smile too as his hands ran down her arms to take hers. “I would think that’s pretty obvious by now.”

“You haven’t said the big L word before,” she said. “So, I don’t know, I thought maybe this was all just for fun.”

He chuckled, knowing that she was joking about the last part. They both knew they were in this relationship for the long run. There was nothing “just for fun” about it.

But she was right in saying that he hadn’t said the big three words to her yet. Although he knew deep in his heart that he did love (Y/N), he hadn’t been ready to say the words to her just yet.

That big L word was out there now, though. So, realisitically, he was part way there.

“I love you,” he said.

He didn’t think the smile on (Y/N)’s face could get any wider, but it did. She lit up like Times Square and leaned closer to him.

“I love you, too.”

They closed the gap between them to kiss. It was meant to be a sweet, romantic moment for the two of them, but it was quickly cut off by someone calling, “Get a room you two!”

They pulled apart, chuckling at the reaction, before deciding to go home and do just that.

[thesuperiorgenshinaddict]

Hiya could I request Val x reader, where reader and angel become friends and val gets jealous of them spending time together. It can be NSFW if u want it to

AN: trying to think of a title but i can't think of shit LMFAO. gonna put the SFW stuff at the top and the N$FW at the bottom. also i can't really think of when val would be jealous of angel n you normally cuz i dont think he has thaaat much beef w/ angel so it can probably be taken as val having a wittle psychotic crushy wushy on reader and denying it in his head lolz

also halfway through writing this i just realized that you could've wanted a soft thing of valentino and reader talking it out and being like 'erm bro i got jealous...' and shit but like i went more of the canon route :3333 Pairing: Valentino x GN! Reader, (Platonic) Angel Dust x GN! Reader Warnings: Valentino typical shit, weaaaapoons ooo, Violence, Angel Dust slander, Valentino being an asshole, Degradation, SFW-ish HCs:

You and Angel Dust were Valentino's top stars. Made him the most cash and shit so he was slightly nicer to the both of you. Of course, that also meant you had to film more often.

So, imagine how fucking PISSED he was when you were not only late for filming, your ass also went to goof around with Angel. Mind you, he was already pissing and shitting himself after Angel skeddaddled to the Hazbitch Hotel.

The mere thought that he might lose another of his top stars to that shithole made him petulantly stomp his feet like a whiny bitch. He decided to be a nice, kind individual (he's delusional) and try to let you off with a warning. Honestly, said 'warning' was just him making you feel like shit and making himself seem nice and all that.

As much as he likes the amount of cash Angel Dust gets him, he gets irked every time he sees that slutty bitch's face. It was definitely hypocritical of him to say, but he considered Angel a 'bad influence'. He's just waiting for the day he catches you fucking around with those redemption hoes. Valentino's hands are just itching to grab his beloved gun and shoot the fucking hotel up. (lmao will I get flagged for that)

Thank god you weren't late for anything else for a long while. Valentino almost forgot how much he was raging until he spots Angel and you at a mall. A fucking mall. Great, and you're even giggling and kicking your feet with him. Valentino swears he has no actual interest in you, but that shit set him off. He screeches at Vox for like 3 hours until you pull up at the studio and he goes batshit.

He gives Angel the most ominous glare in the history of, idk, me and your mom's relationship and drags you to the dressing room. Seriously, why the fuck is he acting like this? Fucking hell. Why the fuck were you flirting with the horny spider shitbag? (Delusional Valentino real) To be fair, he'd be more pissed if you were trying to hit on some rando in the street, but Angel Dust is still a traitorous lying dick in his book. I forgot if that was a phrase or not. Or idiom, I don't fucking know.

Wow, that's a lot of fucks.

Now for the sussy HC's boom:

He's fucking your brains out. He probably won't stop until he physically sees marks of his hands and teeth everywhere. Doesn't bother to prep you with anything, just rawdogs it.

Has you bent over the makeup desk thing or whatever the fuck it's called and holding your face in one of his hands. Says the most condescending shit, but it just sounds embarrassingly insecure. Well, it would be funny if it wasn't for how he's one movement away from choking your lights out.

His claws dig into your back and he has one of your legs onto the table just to hit the angle that has you crying. All the while, his mouth is yapping away about how if you left him he would track you down and obliterate your asshole until you can't walk for the next week and a half.

Bonus points if he drags Angel in just to watch his expression while he makes you say stupid shit. Probably thinks he's being cool based off Angel Dust's upset face, but that's mainly because Angel's just feeling bad for you. Valentino's still having his headcanon that Angel and you are trying to hit it off.

Valentino's probably pushing the laws of physics with this because that's at least Mach 10 speed. It's a joke, I think. Running his fingers over your spine to watch you shiver, his pride is almost palpable.

Once he busted a nut, he walks off like nothing happens. Literally strutting away like he just invented the flying dildo or something. Oh god, this is making me think that he probably has. Christ.

Angel helps clean you up and the two of you can share a depressing laugh about how you're literally just homies. Valentino acts a lot more possessive afterwards and religiously stares Angel Dust down.

Good luck trying to leave the tower now, he's making sure he's constantly watching you.

Drabble woo (i'll make a ff of this soon i promise)

Valentino's eye twitches as he takes labored breaths. "You fucking slut." He growls out as he clenches and unclenches his fists. His wings are unraveled and he slams the dressing room door shut. Suddenly, his entire personality pulls a 180. His lower set of hands go to cup your face and he visibly relaxes. "Aw, baby," He coos. "Do I not give you enough attention? Is that why you're so desperate to whore around with Angel?" As if he's trying to coax an answer out of you, he runs his hand down your back in a comforting (?) motion. Apparently his attention span is really fucking low because he abruptly stands up and lifts you up by your neck. He fucking squeezes. Hard. "How the fuck am I not treating you well enough? Since you have so much time to fuck around and go burn my well earned cash with that lanky bitch, how about you tell me what you're not happy about?!" His nails dig into your skin and you can vaguely feel the blood slowly trickling down. Your heart is like it's beating out of your chest and holy shit, the adrenaline is going crazy.

AN: okay yeah so sry for sudden stop but ill probably write this as a fanfic thing later cuz rn i procrasinated this req for soo long like 5 whopping days bro oh my gyatt. im gonna work on my masterlist and whatever first and then ill get this done okie? okie thanks 4 understanding i hope this req was what you wanted otherwise feel free to ask for a remake w/ a diff vibe yk :p

[iexistforidkwhatreason]

My experience with Lumii/HoneyStarlightz/Lumiidere/Lumii after dark/KiramekiCookie

I have to get this out of my system because I'm deadass tired of watching this person wander around as if they're innocent when they aren't, and I'm also annoyed because of people not noticing what this person does behind the scenes because it now takes one quick Google Search using the prompt "Luca Wii Sports" to go down the rabbit hole. This is about HoneyStarlightz/Lumii.

Lemme begin with the minor stuff. So you know how Lumii has a massive grudge against me because of most of, if not all the stuff I drew in my DeviantArt account? Almost everything there was drawn when I was a FUCKING MINOR. I am 20 years old as we speak, and most of the drawings Lumii mentions happened BEFORE MY 18TH BIRTHDAY on the 1st of December, 2021, and I'll admit, during most of that time, I was a dumbass, immature, and an edgelord. I then stopped posting anything bloody and/or revealing but continued to post harmless drawings before my 18th birthday happened. October 11th of last year was when I stopped posting on that account all together because I found out that DeviantArt was blaming Hamas and Hamas only for the Palestinian deaths and making it as if the Israel military didn't do a thing to innocent lives in Palestine after Hamas attacked.

Next, we have them making me look like an asshole for shipping Luca with Abby (The one shipart I made of the two apparently traumatized them). Back when I was 17, I decided to draw Abby and Luca, two Miis I'm not a fan of, nor close to, as a couple because I thought shipping the two was a good idea. I then posted the finished product on the 23rd of January, 2021. The drawing was not meant to traumatize anyone. It was JUST. SHIP. ART. OF. ABBY. &. LUCA. The only bad thing about that drawing was that I shoved my opinion of the two Miis down people's throats in the description by asking how the hell do people like them because to me, they're just not fun to play against at all, and even then, it was drawn three to four years ago, and I don't even ship the two anymore. I ship Abby with Wii U Barbara now. Mate, I didn't even know Lumii EXISTED back then, let alone know they had a massive love for Luca.

Next, there's the clear as day hipocrisy that people have yet to notice somehow. So you know how Lumii has "Opinion Bashers" on their DNI list, right? On that same list, they also have people that hate, despise, even dislike Luca, instantly making them a hypocrite because they said they don't want to interact with people who just cannot tolerate others having a different opinion while also saying that if you think Luca is not a good Mii, you're instantly on their shit list. Also, they said no exceptions, meaning you can be the nicest person in the world, but if you dislike Luca, go fuck yourself.

I have several friends that like Luca a lot, some of which are here on Tumblr. I do not like Luca. We get along perfectly fine. I don't understand why they feel like Luca haters and Luca lovers can't co-exist when they clearly can. Just don't be an ass to others when it comes to what you think of the character, mate.

Lastly, we have the fact that they cannot take criticism. They said criticism is prohibited on their DeviantArt profile, which means that you can say anything positive about their art, but if you say anything negative, then nope. Get out. Oh, I'm so sorry I gave you a harmless critique that was just saying what I didn't like and how you can improve. I apologize.

Seriously tho, how sensitive can you be to the point where you prohibit people from critiquing your work? Or is it that they can't criticize you? Or is it both?

Now we go to the bigger stuff, starting with the TRANSPHOBIA ACCUSATIONS and obvious delusion. They said, and I quote "please shut the fuck up for calling him "Lucapoopa", "Boring", "Annoying", "Scum" and "Tedious" for the love of fucking god, he's fucking overhated and y'all are too harsh and transphobic at him, fucking hell".

Luca is not canonically trans. Don't even say he is because of unused data because I did my research, and the only unused data he has is facial hair related. Don't get me wrong, Luca being trans is a HC that I'm completely fine with. If you want to headcanon him as trans, fine by me. Trans rights all the way, mate. Don't fucking call people transphobic just for disliking Luca tho! Luca is not canonically trans, and even if he was, bold of Lumii to assume that someone that hates Luca hates him because he's trans. He appears as an opponent in three games and there's a chance that he might piss you off in all three.

How delusional do you have to be to see someone hate a character that isn't trans outside of your HC and go "Oh, they're transphobic"?

Next, there's fullblown insensitivity. I decided to check on DeviantArt for something, and I get a DM from someone. We had a chat about Lumii, and in that chat, they showed this...

Can you spot the insensitive part? Here, I'll make it easier for ya.

I'm completely fine with people giving dark backstories to Miis in their HC, but there's a line, and you crossed it. Can we not do rape related headcanons, please? I feel like that should go without saying because, oh, I dunno, that shit is OBVIOUSLY IN BAD TASTE!

Lastly, there's something I cannot show here because if I do, I'm going to get in trouble... It has to do with porn...

Lumii has a total of three accounts that I bumped into while looking at Luca images on Google that have porn of Miis on them. They have a Newgrounds account (KiramekiCookie), which has two drawings of Luca porn, a Bluesky account (Lumii after dark), which has twelve, and a Twitter/X account with the same name, which not only has porn of Luca, but of other Miis too... AND THERE'S AN UNGODLY AMOUNT OF IT, MOST OF IT BEING LUCA PORN! TELL ME YOU'RE OBSSESSED WITH OUT TELLING ME YOU'RE OBSSESSED!

I make YOU uncomfortable, Lumii? I make YOU uncomfortable?! You drew Luca laying eggs, you drew a worrying amount of Luca porn, and yet you have the AUDACITY to say I make YOU uncomfortable when you're obviously worse, you fucking hypocrite?! You drew art that is bound to make several people uncomfortable the moment they see it on the THREE ACCOUNTS you have, you falsely accuse people of transphobia, you obssess over Luca an unhealthy and uncomfortable amount, and yet I'M the one in the wrong because I drew ship art of Luca and Abby and art that has blood on it years ago?! I don't get your logic!

BTW, for those who say that this could've been resolved privately, it couldn't because Lumii has blocked me on DeviantArt, and they also blocked me on an old Tumblr account of theirs too, meaning that talking to them was out of the fucking question. They CLEARLY did not want to talk it out. They just wanted to avoid me entirely while also antagonize me for shit I did years ago that wasn't even that bad compared to the crap they did.

Lumii, if you manage to see this, which I know you will because I know you have a Discord and I know someone's gonna send a screenshot to you on there... All of this could've been avoided had you just been a better person.

[insomniakisses]

Can u do an alternate part to ur alicent H series maybe that would help with the writers block

The king’s Daughter and the Queen | 3 Alternate Ver

Character: Alicent Targaryen Neè Hightower (HOTD)

Taglist: @fuckinglittlekitten , @sydneyyyya , @federalclassroom , @watercolorskyy , @dd122004dd ,

Warnings/notes: death of the king, murder and violent scenes, reader is Rhaenyras Sister, suspicoun of cheating, hints of miscarriage, mentions of Aemond, Aegon and Helaena being bastards, omega!alicent, Alpha!reader, omegaverse au, tw; Daemon.

One. / Two.

Your eyes begin to shut and your mind falls back to your promise. It’s then that your mind is made up. You could save your children from a life of fear by telling your sister of their true parents, but you could not save them from the misery of duty to the crown. No. You would all swear oath to your sister and you would save your children and Alicent no matter the cost.

-

Rhaenyra arrived late that night/early morning having taken off as soon as the raven had arrived, you having sent a raven as soon as you had heard of the kings death. She had arrived on dragon back, her children and daemon in tow her two youngest Aegon and Viserys being carried by herself and daemon.

The palace was asleep when they had arrived, clearly their plan incase anything or anyone was to get in the way of her taking her rightful throne.

With her children settled and taken to their beds daemon sat in the small council room, Rhaenyra making her way to get you.

You awoke to a knock on your chambers, half asleep you stumbled quietly to the door making sure not to wake Alicent. Grabbing a robe to wrap around you, not wanting to flash whomever was at the door your alpha hood.

Opening the door, your met with your sister, she gives you a small smile asking if you would join her in the small council room once dressed. You nod about to bid her goodbye when a voice calls out asking whom is at the door and you cringe seeing your sisters features harden at alicents voice. She walks of not saying a word and you cuss moving to dress quickly as to not keep her waiting.

“Baby? Who was it?” Alicent calls confusion and sleep clouding her mind. “And where are you going at this hour?”

“Rhaenyra. It was Rhaenyra.” You huff out moving to place a sweet kiss to her lips cupping her face as it scrunches up in confusion “At this hour? Why?” She whines clearly upset at being awake so early when she went to bed so late. You chuckle pushing her hair out of her face softly “I wrote to her about the kings death, I plan to deal with it and I’m going to the council room now to discuss things about the corrination and the kids and us. Everything.” You rub her cheek softly with you thumb kissing her again to reassure her.

“You should sleep baby, don’t worry I will handle this” you guide her back down onto the bed tucking her back in and bidding her a good night.

-

Entering the council room your met with a glaring Rhaenyra at the head of the table in the chair your father usually sat, daemon to her left staring at you blankly.

“Why.” She stares blankly at you.

“Why? Why what..?” You chuckle, clearly nervous. She doesn’t answer you but gives you a look that tells you she’s not playing around. “Alicent and I… have been involved for some time…” you mumble heat rushing to your cheeks as daemon makes a crude remark laughing at the thought of you fucking Alicent.

“How long.” Her jaw is clenched and you know shes fucking pissed, best to answer her honestly you think. “Uh… around 22 years….” You draw out, “since before Aegon was born” you mumble avoiding eye contact.

“Ha! Hypocritical cunt” Daemon exclaims, causing a deep growl to escape your throat. This makes him freeze a smirk pulling at his lips “Oh,” he draws out “Dear wife, it seems your sister has quite the thing for alicent it makes me wonder if perhaps she has given her a pup of her own..” he looks at you then leaning closer “Or three.“

You lunge towards him with a growl landing a few punches to his face as he laughs like the violence driven maniac he is. The scene reminds Rhaenyra of the interaction between Cristen and Harwin all those years ago. It was enough to confirm what Daemon had said that the three children were indeen yours and Alicents not the kings.

“Y/n!” She calls attempting to pull you off of Daemon, a distraction he uses to grab his blade you hear it unsheath and Rhaenyra backs away clearly letting daemon do as he sees fit.

You knock the chair nearest to you, thinking fast, and it hits his head hard he groans holding his face and all you think of is your children and your sweet sweet alicent. You understand now as long as daemon lives they wont be safe so you do the one thing you have to.

You grab dark sister from its place on the floor, ur uncle having dropped it when attacked earlier, and stab his chest hard before pulling it out and stabbing him again. His chest, then his neck, then his stomach, his head. You loose control barely conscious of your own actions blood splatting everywhere a loud ringing in your ears drowning out your sisters sobs and pleas.

It’s only when a sharp pain hits ur arm that you stop, hissing in pain you turn seeing a dagger stuck there you rip it out with a growl. Turning and pushing your sister over, not noticing how she grips her stomach in from pain or fear you’re not sure.

“This, this could of been avoided Rhaenyra.” You stare down at her eyes dark almost taken over by the thrill of killing daemon in front of his wife. “But of course..” you chuckle as if mockinng her “ever the spoiled whore.”

You know its a low blow and she whimpers looking down as her heart breaks from your betrayal. She should have known better, she should have expected you to want the throne or for daemon to cause problems she-

Shes broken out of her thoughts by the sight of Ser Criston Cole, and your authoritive boice, “Cole, Please fetch princess rhaenyras children and have them brought outside where there mother will be waiting. He nods leaving as you grab your sister, forcing her upright and dragging her towards the exit of the red keep.

“I WILL NOT GO! I WILL-“ she yells, smaching her fists against your chest till your growl deep pushing her to the floor watching her fall the short steps to the dirt outside the keep.

“You will go, go to dragonstone and reside there till the end of your days with your children, under my rule as queen or I will slaughter every single one of you. For the sake and saftey if my family”

She whimpers backing down, theres an unknown danger and darkness in your eyes that makes her believe you. Not to mention the murder of her husband and uncle she had witnessed. Though she has little time to dwell on it, as her children as soon shoved out and towards them she thinks of calling for their dragons but realises there no where to be seen.

“Where-“

Shes cut off by Syrax, Arax and Vermax being escorted out of the dragon pit, and frowns not seeing Ceraxes anywhere.

“I think I’ll keep him,” you speak up as he if reading her mind. “He’d be so terribly lonely without his rider” she sees your smug smile that increases when your own dragon lands on the roof roaring down at her in threat. The sharp pain in her stomach growing as she feels something wet and hot leak down her leg. She holds back her tears, not wanting you to see them and painfully mounts her dragon holding Aegon the younger to her as Jace holds young Viserys. Luke riding on his own. You watch them fly off with an odd sense of power in your gut. You don’t in the slightest feel guilty. After all you were only protecting your family.

-

Going back inside, you make quick work of notifying your staff to be on guard in case of attack. You go to your chambers to get cleaned up. You feel sick. Sure you never liked daemon but the dried blood caked on your skin, the stench of his death in the air around you, the knowledge you were capable of such a thing it churns you stomach.

Your deep in though as you sit motionless in cold hot bath, its only when you feel a kiss placed on your temple that you realise Alicent is there.

“My love!” She exclaimes cupping your face as though it may break. “W-what happened!? Who’s blood is this?”

“D-da-ae-mon” you mumble staring blankly. “I-I didn’t mean to! It just happened, he threatened you he threatened the children I-“

“And what of Rhaenyra?” Her eyes bore into yours anxiously, she could forgive you for Daemon’s death, hell shed forgive you for killing Rhaenyra’s bastards. But to know you were so far gone you’d kill your sister, then she would begin to fear for her own life and that of the children.

“Safe..” you confirm, “well i kicked her out, sent her to dragon stone with her children but without her husband’s body or dragon…. Its like a blur.”

She nods whipping the blood from your hands as you talk, her heart breaking at the far away look in your eyes. She silently prays to the seven that the person she fell in love with is still there.

“We will handle this my love, but who will take the throne?”

“Me.”

A/n: Ngl i had fun making reader go feral 😂 true targaryen madness right there. Hope u like it! And i feel like i could continue the series like this if its wanted!

[not-goldy]

Different anon from whomever sent you asks before. I don't care who ships whom but your ask was on my fyp and I wanted to say that from your response it's obvious what everyone's priorities are. In general shippers care more about their ship than either individual members. Case in point is calling letter a duet. Nobody outside of jikookers would ever say that even if they have absolutely no issue with jikook. Its not a joint song, JK is not even featuring. He's doing background vocals. And jikookers can talk about the significance of that as they wish but this persistence in calling letter a duet shows once again that ship >> actual members of your ship. Jimin wanted background vocals for his song so he called JK. Ok sweet enough. And if he wanted to do a duet with someone, he would do an actual duet with someone. Which again letter isn't.

Tbh I'm not sure why shippers get hung up on that anyway. Jimin and Tae had a subunit, JK featured in Hobis song, Namjoon wrote some lyrics in Face. Didn't mean anything for them but when it's your ship it's suddenly significant?

Well you guys can do what you want. It's just we already have one group of batshit insane shippers in this fandom. It would be nice if you guys didn't become the next version of that

With utmost respect don't you think you sound a bit patronizing and hypocritical👀

You don't know why shippers get hung on something you are equally hung on??? Like c'mon you walked right into that one😭😭😭😭😭

You're giving it's their not they're 😹😹😹😹

Like chill it's really not that deep as u say 💀

I want you to trust that shippers know the difference between jikook songs such as Who are you, we don't talk anymore, and letter.

Words can be used loosely or generically or technically and duet is often used loosely in ship parlance to mean any performance involving jimin and Jungkook be it dance performances, or singing performances or harmonies, covers or when they do back up vocals.

So, in the future while you browse these fandoms or shipping streets- I don't know how I landed on your FYP I don't tag my posts to make it hard to find me. My user name doesn't mention jikook directly nor do my blog title just to ensure I'm buried further down in searches- try to bare that in mind.

It's giving Jk solos during the jimin back up vocals on Euphoria debate. One of these days yall solos will pop a vein from the high blood pressure you give yourselves over jikook and shippers.

I'm sure when you search up jikook duets letters come up. Even algorithms get it and they are machines🥲

If it pleases your ladyship can I refer to Jikook's cover of Homme as a duet too???

Cos it's such a great duet🥲

[perfecteggpartyland]

im not the other anon but ig when compared to other characters kevin can come off as a coward. and i do think "Kevin is a coward" and "it's completely normal for kevin to be afraid of riko" can exist at the same time.

but when pitted against neil for example. i can see see how kevin might seem that way. neil does run away from his father, but ultimately, he only really does that while under the control of his mother. Neil explicitly doesn't want to keep running. and stops very soon after his mom is dead and she can no longer force him to. and the decision does frighten him, I mean he has panic attacks about it, but he keeps doing it despite that. he plans to stay even before Andrew offers him protection, so he doesn't need that crutch like kevin does.

neil also isn't afraid of riko, even when he should be or when he's literally torturing him. he's not afraid of tetsuji either. or even really ichirou. even scenes with his father and lola, I mean he says lola looks like a whore to her face when she's about to torture him 💀 he says "fuck you" to his father when he threatens to cut the tendons in his legs. and he does try and fight Nathan and the others like he punches lola in the throat 😭 I'm just kinda listing of neils actions, but hopefully it makes sense? like I'm not saying neil is always unaffected or unafraid cause its not true, but he has more bravery than I think most ppl do cuz i know I wouldn't be cursing out these ppl if I was face to face with them.

and when we see compare Kevin's behavior to that a lot of it can come off as cowardice.

I think the real problem is seeing coward as a bad thing to be. which maybe sometimes it is. but it seems odd for the fandom to say "oh it's okay to be afraid" and then act like it's an insult to call Kevin a coward. its not bad if he is one. it's just a personality trait, it doesn't make him a bad person. I don't think anyone who calls Kevin a coward is attempting to make some moral judgement of his character, they're just noting a personality trait they observed in him.

Ok the problem is that a lot of people who call Kevin a cowerd ARE making moral judgements of his character; Kevin is rightfully afraid of riko and a literal Yakuza; he grows up in the nest where Neil spent two weeks and as further more traumatized; a lot of people don't take that into Consideration . Kevin not spouting up insults like Neil is not cowardance. he can keep his temper in check; neil is being hypocritical too cause like as u said his mom abused him yet he loves her ; and Kevin grew up with riko and still sees him as a brother figure; that's normal not to mention Neil is afraid of his father and think Kevin is coward. for Kevin his fear is riko. I think it all depends on what you think bravery is; Neil can't keep his temper in check and all his roasts and "bravery" has had awful consequences a lot of times. if Kevin was really coward he wouldn't tell Neil to run away while in the middle of season once he found out his identity knowing game would be at risk; he still offered to talk to Neil about riko when he's rightfully terrified and had a panic attack after seeing him. He never gave up on exy learned to play with his other hand and in the end he manages to stand up to riko; and beats him. It just pisses me off when Kevin's characters good traits are all ignored in favor of him being labeled as a spinless coward ; when that's not the case. Bravery is not only shit talking or knife swinging to me. And I hate the world coward generally; he's traumatized just as much as the other foxes and other than his rightful fear of riko and actual Yakuza he's not a coward and in the end he does stand up to him/them so he's not even a coward anymore. It shouldn't be such a large part of Kevin's description in the end at least ; by that logic jean is also a coward? And I've never seen someone call him that badly over the years.🤷

[darklinaforever]

What do u think about TG saying they want Daeron to be in old town because he looks like Cole?? If they happens I will despise Allicent even more. She tortured Rhaenyra for years. She will be even more wretched hypocrite extreme!!!

Well, that would be ridiculous compared to Fire and Blood.

Daeron is a dragon rider with importance in the course of the war, and he cannot be an illegitimate child of Alicent with Criston as a result, because the dragon riders are descended from Targaryen and Velaryon.

Nettles is the only exception and in reality, we don't even know her true origins...

But, Hotd, as we know, has its own canon separate from the book. At this point it's just pro greens fanfiction so it wouldn't surprise me.

But just to finally reinforce and prove the hypocritical Alicent aspect of HOTD I want Daeron to be Criston Cole's illegitimate child.

I want Alicent to sleep with Criston Cole in season 2, and especially for it to be revealed that they were already sleeping together during the period of season 1.

It would be a delight of irony and hypocrisy to throw in the face of TG fans who hate Rhaenyra under the pretext that she had children out of wedlock and had sex for pleasure ! Simply because their precious Alicent will have done the same thing. Also, you can be sure that they will never call the Alicole relationship an abuse of power under the pretext that Alicent is the queen, as they were able to do with Rhaenyra when she was a princess.

We are going to reach such enormous levels of hypocrisy among green stans that it will be hilarious.

There are already some who are losing their minds because their fantasy of the Rhaenicent ship is broken, their idea of ​​an Alicent purely submissive / faithful to the patriarchal rules and therefore being the perfect victim, is broken. And which are also broken because the vision of certain shippers from the Alicole ship saw their relationship as a purely platonic love worthy of courtly love.

Frankly, at this stage any decision the writers make on this series makes me laugh softly. This thing is borderline parody and it's not even on purpose.

[flwersgarden]

HEYYYY! i love ur writings and i was wondering if u were able to make a cutesy reader falling right into elvis’s traps and her just being so oblivious to it? like she swooshes past all his red flags

note: OOOOH DEAR ANON YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS IDEA, thank you so much for this request and i hope you like it!

elvis presley knew you were the perfect one from the moment he saw you.

you were not just beautiful, as anyone would like their partner to be, but most importantly you truly love him, you take care of him, you support him and most importantly, you don't notice just how much he loves you.

the first time elvis met you was in his comeback special, you were in the audience but anyone could spot you among all the others. wearing your cute pink outfit with shiny makeup and bright smile.

he would sometimes tease you by saying:

“ darling, there's no way you didn't go there with the thought of getting my attention. you were too beautiful to ignore. ”

“ elvis! ” you'd say while laughing. “ you're exaggerating. ”

“ 'm not! ” and you both would laugh.

the comeback special was just the beginning for the cute relationship you had with elvis.

after he asked steve to bring you backstage, you both talked every day at every hour.

and priscilla started to suspect.

“ who are you calling at 3 am? ” she asked one night, while she was giving her back to elvis who just hung up on you; elvis' smile disappearing the moment she spoke.

“ thought you were sleeping. ”

“ clearly. ”

he scoffed, standing up from bed making priscilla turn around, one hand holding the weight of her body.

“ so who? ”

“ who what? ” answered elvis back while putting his robe on.

“ don't make me feel dumb. who are you calling? ”

“ someone important! ” he almost screamed before locking himself in the bathroom.

priscilla just looked down, tears burning her eyes at the thought of losing elvis so soon.

meanwhile you were just soundly sleeping, smile in your face as elvis and you finished your night call.

oh yes, after weeks of meeting you he asked if you both could have 'morning', 'afternoon', 'noon' and 'night' calls. you agreed, quite flustered for being elvis' object of attention.

you thought it wouldn't last, at first, but you told him it was mainly because of your parents.

“ he is no good! ” your father shouted while you were crying in the cheap couch your family owned, your mother shaking her head as disappointment for you evaded her heart. “ he has new girls every week and if he lied to his wife, imagine to his lover! ”

“ no! you don't understand, we are just friends! ”

now it was your mama's turn. “ hah! yes, friends! like the type of 'friends' he has? you probably already gave him your precious gift- ”

“ no! i already told you we are just friends! ”

“ i don't care, stop seeing him! ”

but, oh, you father was such a hypocrite. because the moment he and your mom lost everything, their job, their house and their dignity, he begged you to tell elvis to help them.

“ honey, he can help us. he is such a sweet soul and he is kind to everyone. ”

“ i don't want to use him for his money... ”

“ y/n. we are your parents, darling. do it for us. ”

but you just couldn't!

you, while sobbing, told elvis everything in one of your so many visits you had when he was in your town.

“ but i don't want to ask you that! you earned that money, not my mama! ”

elvis just softly smiled, hugging you and comforting you. a lovers embrace to many others and elvis. for you, a savior embrace.

“ i'd give them money, how about that? ”

you looked up at him, shaking your head while holding his robe.

“ please don't, i just- don't want you to be their money pig. they are so ungrateful-. ”

“ but they're my angel's folks. ”

“ i know, but-. ”

“ doll, come on. lemme take care of you in some way. ”

you just sadly smiled, hugging him with all the strength you could muster while elvis closed his eyes to focus in the sweet smell of your shampoo.

️️ ️️️️️️️️️

a few months after you started dating him, elvis invited you to live with him and his father (who was almost never there because of business; and at elvis request, but you didn't had to know that.) and you accepted, jumping up and down from excitement.

waving your parents goodbye with some elvis presley' expensive napkin while they just waved back, obviously glad that their daughter was going to get married to someone that could give them money.

not that elvis would do that again.

️️ ️️️️️️️️️

elvis got a phone call from your parents while you were playing with some tea game he bought for you.

“ presley residence. ” he asked with a smile on his face, a paper crown in his head that you did with your soft hands, some pink plastic necklace surrounding his neck and with your cute voice in the background asking mr. nini if he wanted more tea.

“ hello, elvis! it's the y/l/n family! ”

elvis' smile dropped.

“ what d'ya want. ”

“ oh, well, that's no way to greet your bride's ol' folks.”

he moved a bit further away from you, glancing back to see you were still focused in the way your ballerina dress wasn't with any wrinkles.

“ hm, what is it? ”

“ well, you see, there's this minor problem her daddy had. ”

he had to hold his tongue to not say 'you're talking to him and i don't have any problem.' — “ what kind of problem? ”

“ well, all of the money has disappeared. y'know the one you gave us last week. ”

he rolled his eyes, sighing, already knowing what was this about.

“ listen, uh, i won't give you anymore money. ”

your mother's rant was cut short.

“ excuse me? ”

“ you heard me. ”

“ why? ”

“ i already have what i want. ” he said while turning to you, waving back when you waved and smiled. “ so, why should i give you any more money? ” he asked, now with you facing his back as you returned to your tea party.

“ i... i don't understand. ” your mother weakly answered back.

“ you really think i was giving you money? it was because she was living with you. but now that she is with me, safe, you don't have nothing to take care of. ”

silence filled the line.

“ we're taking her back, don't touch our baby. ”

he almost laughed.

“ hm. ”

then he hung up.

️️ ️️️️️️️️️

your mother should've known better. that's what elvis told you at Graceland after your mother grabbed you almost violently while you were shopping.

you were in some designer store elvis recommended you to go for the kind of looks you always wanted to wear. pink and white were your main colors, which sometimes made it difficult to just choose a single cloth. but thank god for your lovely boyfriend who always gave you money, even if you sometimes tried to refuse.

while looking at a skirt that grabbed your attention, hard hands grabbed your shoulders spinning you around to meet them.

“ m-mama? what are you-. ”

“ come with me! ” she said as she dragged you out of the store, a few customers looking at you with worry in their eyes.

“ what is this about? ” you asked, suddenly scared. she looked disheveled, with her hair dirty and no makeup on.

“ that man, elvis presley, he-. ” your mother took a deep breath before continuing. “ he ruined us. we asked for the check last month and since that phone call our life has been awful, darling. ” she started sobbing, clinging to you; making your white dress look dirty.

“ mama, i don't know what you talking about. ” you whispered, clearly shocked of seeing your usually stone-face mother so vulnerable.

“ you have to leave, come with us, we're leaving this country if it's necessary-. ”

“ is there a problem, miss? ” you turned around, some clerk looking at you with concern.

“ no, she's my mother. ” you tried to explain between her sobs.

“ okay... ” the clerk hummed after, going inside his store.

you turned, grabbing your mother's arms. “ mama, come on, what happened? truly. ”

your mother looked at you like you just stabbed her.

“ it's the truth! elvis ruined your father business and my bakery, people started throwing rocks at our windows at home. ”

you just shook your head. how dare they?

“ elvis gave you money for, how long? almost a year? and you pay him back with this? ” you scoffed, your usual pacific demeanor no longer there.

“ elvis is a good man, all that i have i owe it to him, you're not going to make me turn into someone disgraceful as you! ”

“ no, baby! please, listen to me, it's all true! ”

“ is what true? ”

your mother gasped, hiding her face between your clothes while you turned your face to the side finding your boyfriend, all dressed up with his sunglasses, looking at the both of you.

you slipped out of your mother's hold, almost running to stand next to him.

“ hey, what happened? ” he asked, grabbing your waist with his arm.

“ no! you stay away from her, you monster! ” your mother pointed a finger at him, her body shaking.

“ please stop! can we just go? ” you muttered the last part.

elvis didn't say anything more, he just turned and walked out with you. ignoring your mother's painful cries.

️️ ️️️️️️️️️

you never had so many friends, your timid demeanor never really hit with anyone but a few. and there was your best friend, who was the only one that understood you.

or so you thought.

you were making dinner with her in the Graceland kitchen, she invited her boyfriend and yours was in a meeting. elvis allowed you to have them as guests so you were happy you could hang out with them in your home.

“ so, how's elvis? ”

“ oh, he's fine, probably a bit tired but he is stubborn so he won't let me keep him at home. ” you quietly laughed.

your best friend just kind of smiled, now looking at you, ignoring the pot in the stove behind her.

“ look, y/n. ” she took off her apron, fixing her hair. “ we've been friends for years and i've always told you the truth. ”

“ that you did. and i will always be grateful! ”

she softly smiled.

“ well, i'm here to tell you the truth again. ” you nodded. “ elvis is a bad man. ”

you dropped your knife.

“ what? ” you turned around, blinking to see if you were dreaming, sadly, you weren't.

“ he didn't let you finish your job, he threatens everyone around you if they want to be friends with you, you even had to ask him for permission for us to come as if you were a child and he ruined your parents; making them die without a penny! ” her voice incremented in volume as she spoke.

you were on the verge of tears, your hands shaking. your best friend, who you thought was the only good thing, besides elvis, that remained in your life betrays you like this.

your parents died because of their disease, elvis told you that himself. he even payed the hospital bills. he wouldn't lie about something like that. he wouldn't lie to you about anything! how dare she?

you couldn't say anything, you just took off your apron and ran upstairs, locking yourself in your and elvis' room. you friend tried to make you come out so 'she could explain' but you didn't want to see her anymore, you cried so much you fell asleep after a few minutes.

️️ ️️️️️️️️️

you were woken up by strong arms lifting you, soft footsteps were heard as the figure walked to the bed.

“ hm? ” you muttered, blinking.

“ hey, baby. ” you unconsciously smiled, that soft velvet voice always made you happy.

“ hi, daddy. ” you whispered, now looking at him.

“ what were you doing in the floor, pretty girl? ” he asked while caressing your hair, that was probably a mess.

you wanted to cry by just remembering.

but instead you looked up at him with your adorable doe eyes.

“ i don't want to talk to anyone but you from now on. ” you pouted, your cheek pressing against his neck.

he hugged you back, quite confused at this sudden confession.

“ i'd love that. ” he leaned his head back to look at you. “ to keep my pretty baby all fo' me. ” he smiled, touching your nose with his finger.

you giggled, he always knew how to make you shy.

“ but what happened, hm? tell me, come on. ”

“ my friend said you were a bad man. ” you whispered, sniffing to keep your tears at bay. “ and i was so angry 'cause after my folks fiasco i thought she... i thought she supported me. ” and that was it, you started to cry again.

elvis just sighed, hugging you back.

“ see, that's why i keep you here, baby. ” he spoke with that soft deep voice he only uses with you, leaving small kisses in the crown of your head. “ because i know how people can take advantage of someone as good as you. ”

you just nodded, your eyes closed as they hurt for crying so much.

“ i really trusted her. ”

the sight of you was like a renaissance painting. your eyes shining with tears and the light above you, your white eyeshadow running under them, your lipgloss leaving little sparks in your lips, you looked like an angel.

“ only trust me. ” elvis whispered.

you could only nod, hugging him again.

[tohisprettyc00l]

Hi! Could u make a Hunter x nb! Human! Reader who’s Luz’s adopted sibling and gets possessed instead of Hunter in TTT?

A/n: I see Luz and Hunter as siblings so this going to be more platonic, I'm sorry if this isn't what you wanted

Tw: Slight trigger warning for implied suicidal thoughts and panic attacks it not too graphic but just wanted to warn y'all before

You had known Hunter for a few months now but with how close you two were it might as well of been a lifetime. You shared basically everything with each other. And for Hunter, the main thing shared with you was his past with Belos. You had no clue who Belos was. But you could tell he was a bad person with how nervous Hunter was telling you he used to work for him.

While you didn't understand most of the words he was saying you got the jist of who Belos was, the absolute fucking worst. You hugged him and let him know you didn't care about his past as the golden guard.

Snap back to the present Yoy and him were making lunch for the rest of the family. You mostly give Hunter insercations. Because you've seen the 'food' Hunter made before and... It was certainly ingredients put together. You were cutting peppers."Okay so next- Ow- fuck!" You suddenly yelped. You dropped the knife and drew your chest. "Are you okay!?" Hunter was by your side in a matter of seconds. "I'm fine, I'm fine, I just cut my finger." You said. "Wait here I''' get some disinfectant wipes," Hunter said and you nodded in reply.

You wrapped the cut in your shirt in the meantime. Hunter came back and you held your hand out. He cleaned out the cut and you winced at the contact of the wipe. "I'm sorry," Hunter said softly. "Nah, it's fine just kinda hurts. We should probably continue making dinner." "Oh right!" You both continued on.

After dinner, you and Hunter decided to go to a shed located a bit far from the house. Hunter said he was going to go in the shed but first, he was going to wash some dishes. So you went to the shed and waited. Soon a weird green goop.

You stared at it for a few minutes when it seemed to start moving. On one hand, you didn't want to be the movie character that starts touching the obvious bad thing. But on the other hand, it was so tempting. You sighed and crouched next to it, still relatively far away, and poked at it. You brought your hand back at the contact. You accidentally touched it with your wounded finger. "I just t touched some mysterious goo with an open wound." You sighed, "Not one of my brightest moments... Let's hope the infection isn't too bad."

Suddenly you heard the door knob move. You turned your head around to see Hunter. "Oh hey, bro!" Hunter seemed slightly startled. He's still not used to you calling him bro, but he's not complaining about you. "Hi, why are you crouched down?" "There was some weird sludge..." When you turned around it was nowhere to be seen. "That's weird... It was right here!" "Are you sure you've been getting enough sleep?" Hunter asked. You looked back and forth nervously. "So no, Y/N I'm not saying you seeing things or anything. But that might be part of this." He gestured vaguely, "Sleep is important." "You're one to talk." "Being a hypocrite doesn't make me wrong."

You sighed and rubbed your eyes. "Yeah, I haven't been getting enough sleep. But I  saw it! I felt it. I know it was there." Hunter looked around nervously. "Just tell me if you see it again. Then we can check it out together and you'll know it was real, two birds with one stone." Flapjack glared at him. "Not literally though, sorry buddy." He scratched under the bird's chin and he did whatever the bird equivalent of purring is. You stood up and stretched a few cracks coming from your back. "Okay did you bring the tablet?" you asked. Hunter had a small bag around his waist and he pulled the tablet out of it. "Of course." He smiled

You and he sat on the chairs the rest of the group brought up a few weeks ago. You cringed at the floor creaking when you sat down. You and Hunter opened the language-learning app, but neither of you bothered to remember its name and opted for remembering the icon. Once you entered you clicked on Spanish. There were a few other languages that had a sliver of progress in them. Luz (or Luz and Gus) were responsible for that. She always declared that she was going to learn a new language and then a week later she would ask why one word had so many variations and say that two languages were enough. And, based on how much you and Hunter were struggling, you agreed.

After an hour of studying and struggling you closed the app. "God damn all the ways a and e can be spelled." You said. "There aren't that many ways, you just gotta remember how to say them!" "Okay, Mr. Spend all my time reading and studying for I school I don't go to." "Studying and reading is fun!" Hunter said with a very defensive tone in his voice. Ah, right, back when he was in the Coven, and jabbing at him was a personal attack. "Sorry, I was joking around." Hunter nodded slightly. There is tension left in the air. "Okay well, I'm tired I'm going to go to bed." You said almost robotically. "But it's 6 PM." "Not getting enough sleep will make you tired okay byeee!" You waved and entered your room. Ever since you were adopted you took up a section in the attic. Not that there weren't any other rooms, you just preferred a small quiet area.

You, in fact, were not tired. You just had no clever way to end that conversation. You suddenly felt a slight headache and your vision got blurry. "Argh!" You subconsciously cried out. The only thing you could make out was a greenish figure with glowing blue eyes. You blinked and rubbed your eyes. The figure disappeared. Okay, maybe Hunter had a point. You went to your bed and decided to take a nap.

After what was a full sleep cycle, you woke up at 4 AM. Your throat hurt so you decided to get a glass of water. As you were pouring yourself a cup you glanced out a window. From what you saw of the window you saw a familiar glow and turned your whole body around so fast that water spilled on you.  Yet there was nothing there when you saw the full window. 

You swallowed some water that you had in your cup. It soothed your throat. You bite the skin of your lip. You went back to your room got your phone, and siped your water. No matter how much you mindlessly scrolled the visions wouldn't leave your mind. You keep just scrolling through random websites barely comprehending the words on the screen. Even if you tried the hallucinations had you completely out of it. Suddenly you heard the sound of multiple doors opening and closing. You went downstairs. You saw Hunter fumbling around with multiple cleaning supplies. "Oh, hi! I'm just going to clean around the house." "Haven't you already cleaned every room like 6 times this week?" "Yeah, but there are 8 people living in this house, plus Palismen." "Fair, can I help? I need to distract myself from... Stuff" Hunter tilted his head but nodded.

You both went to the kitchen and pulled out towels and bottles of cleaning supplies. You paused. "I'm going to go clean a window." "Can you just tell me what's wrong?" "Nothing! Just the window seems dirty." You walked over to the window and squirted Windex on it. Once you started wiping it a layer of fog and grime was wiped off and became way clearer. Your body filled with relief at the new clearness. While it didn't explain the blueness and glowy-ness of what you saw earlier it was enough to calm you.  But you couldn't shake the feeling. So you kept trying to come up with an explanation. Once one explanation crossed your mind your blood felt like it turned to ice. It was barely plausible but the other explanations weren't likely either.

"Hey, Hunter, buddy, bro, dude, what did Belos look like in his freakouts? Like when he a weird slime monster?" Hunter tensed up. "Um he had his hair, his skin was dark green, and his eyes glowed... He had more than two eyes at some points..." His breath became shakey. "Hey- Hey, it's fine you don't have to talk about it if it stresses you out. Breathe with me." You did a few cycles of breathing exercises. Hunter smiled. "Why did you ask?" "No- reason- well there was a reason but I don't want to stress you out! Don't stress about what I just said!" You began rambling, "Let's just get back to cleaning!"

Throughout you guys cleaning he kept looking at you with concern. Suddenly you felt like your muscles were twitching. What was happening to you? Everything was fine two days ago what the fuck happened? 

The goop.

Fucking hell this one hell of an infection. But you did touch random slime with an open wound and no knowledge of what it was. You looked at your wound. The same slime was leaking from the wound. Okay, maybe it was more of a parasite. But the thought of the slime coming from Belos crept back into your mind. "Hey Hunter I'm going to do something with a thing." You spurted out without thinking. You left and started running. You had no destination in mind you just kept going. You arrived at an empty frame. You stopped. You scratched at your neck and it felt dry. 

What were you even doing? Why did you run? It made sense in the moment but now the reason escaped you. You probably would've had an answer if when you first started running. Your vision started to get more blurry the more you stood still, no matter how much you wiped them. You also felt like you weren't in control you were moving but you weren't trying to, in fact, you were trying to stop yourself. Everything was so overwhelming that despite the quietness you felt like you couldn't hear anything.  The thing that you could hear was thumping you couldn't tell if it was your heart or footsteps.

"Y/n? Where are you!?" You heard a voice call out, Was it Hunter? Maybe. It's hard to tell what's happening in general. You looked back at the noise. You saw the outline of a few people. Your friends. Your family. Your voice started talking without your permission. "There you are, Hunter!" It sounds so twisted. Hunter's voice sounded like it was slipping in and out of focus. What was clear was why, run, and already. After a minute or two of- that. You regained more consciousness when you felt a pair of arms around you. "Y/n, I know you're in there! Fight him off!" Luz called out. "Please." You heard Hunter say not far away. 'Fight him off.' Who is 'him'? I mean you must of been doing a good job if you have this much control. You put the rest of your energy into staying in control.

Despite your focus on staying in control what was happening was just a blur of noises and colors.  You felt dirt around your fingers. You wanted to see what the hell you were doing but it was a lot harder to stay in focus than you thought it would be. "Leave her alone." You heard Hunter say in a very flat voice. Suddenly vines were wrapped around your body. Hunter knelt down by you. "What's going on?" You, actually you, managed to get out. "We're trying to help you- if you're not Belos." Everything clicked in your head. You're, what you thought was insane, theroey was right.

"Willow tighten the vines. Don't stop." You said with any energy you had left. "What!?" Almost every yelled in unison. "Just do it!" You said. Willow reluctantly started tightening the vines. It hurt and you were positive your bones were going to crack. But before that happened Belos left your body. You were exhausted and couldn't comprehend what he was saying, but you could tell he had a blue vial and smashed it against the frame. "Y/n are you okay!?" Hunter shouted. "Huh? Uh- yeah, I'm fine. " "But you covered in scars..." You looked at your arms, and sure enough, there were huge scars. "Whatever I feel fine." You said standing up a bit too fast and almost lost your balance.

"How'd you know that would work?" Luz asked. "Oh, I didn't! I was expected for I way different ending to that if you know what I mean." "Were you planning to die, to possibly save us?" Hunter asked. "The answer you want and the truth are different. But I the portals open now." Luz narrowed her eyes. "Yeah, it's great that the portals open. That being said we need to have a talk about this later." "I'm not getting out of this am I?" Hunter chimed in, "Nope."

A/n: I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG

[a-strange-inkling]

Ew Grace joined a misogynistic org. U still gonna Stan her?

A good time to say my piece on this and then that will be it. I’m a fan blog for fictional characters, not a celebrity commentator.

Not my field of expertise.

Anyway… People are really losing it right now as they do with anything this woman does and the best thing for us to do is handle this all with awareness. Real awareness. Like everyone needs to stop and take a second to think about this, then look at themselves.

First things first, yes I really enjoy and admire Grace as an actress, she brought to life a character I love and strongly connect with. I consider myself a fan of her work and have also witnessed her receiving a disgusting amount of hate for simply existing in the same space as her male co-star because many of his fans behave so atrociously that multiple articles have been written about them. They’ve made subfandom history as one of the most toxic groups of people on the internet.

I’ve always had sympathy for her having to deal with this and constantly having to stand up for herself for a small role connected to a side character. And then, of course, having to deal with the backlash of actually standing up for herself and continuing to dare to have an online presence. Because how dare anyone try to counter lies and unjustified hate about/directed toward themselves?

That being said, I don’t believe in blind loyalty either. Especially for celebrities. We can admire them all we want, but we don’t know them and they don’t know us. They’re not the characters that they play. Grace is not Chrissy. Joe is not Eddie. Grace is a human being that I don’t know in real life. Being a fan is not the same as really knowing someone and being their friend. I don’t believe in parasocial relationships with actors, actresses, musicians etc, it’s not healthy. As much as I enjoy her as an actress, and will speak up for her against unnecessary hate, I don’t have to agree with everything that she does or says. I don’t put her on a pedestal. She’s liable to make mistakes like the rest of us and I don’t think this was a wise or safe decision on her part.

With all the information I have on this current situation (which is not much), I can say that I’m worried for her more than anything else. This woman has gone through the ringer for a full year now and it seems this will just be used as more fuel against her. Whatever she chooses to do professionally, she is met with so much hate and frankly misogynistic hypocrisy. All that negativity worries me the most. She’s young and trying to make a living doing what she loves, so I feel bad seeing things going in the direction that they are presently.

I don’t know much about the gaming community, I’ve avoided it and have always played solo because what I do know is that it can be a very toxic and hate fueled place. Especially for women. After having to deal with what she already has, angry gamers and her own fans turning on her is going to be sad to see. And I’m not saying calling her out on this decision is turning on her, or hating on her, I think people should call out their faves when they do something wrong… it’s just going to be sad to see the discourse that follows this.

For context, for those that don’t know, this organization she’s signed up with has some really bad allegations against it, really bad, and I don’t condone or support anything to do with that.

But this is where the self awareness has to kick in for anyone in fanbase communities or, you know, just going about their daily lives.

What large entertainment organization or company doesn’t have red in their ledger? Tell me honestly. Anything dealing with a big group of people is going to have skeletons in the closet. Not condoning anything, but also trying not to be a hypocrite here, as we all should.

If you watch and enjoy Stranger Things on Netflix, if you’re a Joe Quinn/Eddie fan, you’re supporting a company that’s riddled with scandal, hiring numerous actors, writers, producers and directors accused of s*xual assault. Do you watch Disney? Visit the parks? Wear Sketchers? Any name brand clothes? Buy from Amazon? Wal-Mart? Target? Listen to Taylor Swift? Support or watch anything in Hollywood? Read Harry Potter? Watch the movies? Are you on Twitter? This website? YouTube? Facebook? Eat name brand food? If so, you’re supporting problematic, at best, people, companies, and organizations all around. We all know they’re tied to histories of scandal, hate, controversy, or even criminal activity, yet we keep watching, buying, wearing, listening, eating, consuming and supporting them as a whole. Unless you’re living off the grid, grow your own food, make your own clothes and don’t watch any form media, no one has any room to talk here. No one wants to hear this, but we’re all supporting things we would normally speak out against either consciously or unconsciously. Hollywood and streaming services are full of misogynistic, r*cist, behavior. They’ve hidden countless accusations and protected numerous r*pists since the beginning of film. But we’re still watching their movies and shows. Not saying it’s right, but we should criticize ourselves first before going after one working actress signing a deal with just one of the many bad organizations out there.

Joe recently did a voiceover for an organization that apparently is really problematic. He’s currently working with a big Hollywood film industry that also has some really shady (again, at best) history, but everyone’s going to go watch his movies, aren’t they? His stans are going to keep stanning him. So make sure you anon ask all of them the same question, kay?

Being hateful and criticizing a twenty-six-year-old actress/streamer really should not be anyone’s first steps toward activism or change. Especially if you originally didn’t like her because she’s standing near the favorite white British boy of the month. I’ve said it from the beginning, if you don’t like her or what she’s doing, block her. Unfollow her. Obsessing over her and everything she does is on the same level of intensity as stanning her.

I am disappointed in her decision, I’m worried what this means for her and her fans who’ve been in the trenches for her, but Grace’s decisions are not mine. From what I’ve heard and seen, she said she considered the risks and wants to be apart of rebuilding the organization that is trying to move forward from the allegations last year and be more supportive of female gamers. All I can do is hope that’s true. What they need to do first is call out and condemn the parties responsible for any and all crimes they’ve committed. I hope they do and that Grace will encourage that as she’s signed on with them. If not, I hope she leaves them for her own morals and safety.

This is how I feel on the matter. I’m not going to get into this any further via asks. This blog is for hellcheer content and will continue to be so. I want it to be a safe space. Anything negative in my anon messages will be reported and/or ignored from here on. So keep that in mind. I’m not into drama. If any mutuals just want to talk or vent about this you can always DM me.

🤍

[anime-kia]

Not So Silent

This one-shot was requested by @kheartslove 😊 Thank you!

In Michael's Vogue, 73 questions interview, he stated that being hung up on was one of his pet peeves, so I thought this would be an interesting take.

Relationship: Dominant Erik x Reader 

Warnings: Dom, Rough Smut (spanking, biting, choking, hair pulling, over-stimulation) 

God, Erik was so infuriating! 

He had your phone ringing non stop until you finally decided to answer.

"It's my day off, negro!" You yelled into the transmitter. 

"What you not gon' do is yell at me." He nonchalantly stated.

"I'll do whatever the fuck I want, Stevens." You were irritated because you knew exactly why he was calling you.

For some reason, your "situationship" was a lot more complicated than you thought it would originally be. You assumed it was free dick with no strings attached, but that was not the case. This big headed, irritating man was blowing your phone up because you were spotted at a nightclub, sitting in the lap of another party goer while kissing his cheek. 

"That's what you think. We finna talk, baby girl." It sounded like he was getting in his car. "Who the fuck was that nigga?" 

"A very nice and polite stranger who I met at the club. Honestly, you should meet up with him and learn a thing or two on treating women better." You quipped.

"You gettin' smart with me?"

"Been smart, but aight." You quipped, rolling your eyes.

"Forgot who you talkin' to, huh?" The tone in his voice got darker the more you stayed on the line with him.

"Is that all?"

"Nah, fuck you mean is that all?" He mocked you.

"You're being childish, Erik. Get off my phone."

"We ain't done talking."

"Yes we are. Bye."

"Dont hang u-" 

Click.

You rolled your eyes and tossed your phone to the side after turning it off completely. If anyone had anything to say to you, they could wait till tomorrow. It was finally your day off from work, and from that hypocrite hotep. 

Amusing that he could entertain as many women as he wanted to, even while you two were out together, but the second you start talking to another guy with your voice pitched just slightly higher than normal, Erik's ass had to get all defensive and territorial. 

You turned over onto your stomach, one arm under the pillow and head turned towards the TV screen that was playing Stranger Things which would soon lull you into a deep sleep. 

Though you were quite content, Erik however, was fuming.

"I know she ain't just fuckin' hang up on me." He stared at the red streetlight in front of him with disbelief on his face. He called your number non-stop. "She got one more time and on God if she don't pick up the phone." He threatened no one in particular seeing as he was talking to himself.

And just like the ten other times he dialled your number, lucky number eleven was also sent to voicemail.

"Aight, that's how it is (Y/n). Bet... Fuckin' bet." He adjusted his black and gold Cartier aviators and diverted from his original course to the gym and now towards your apartment. 

Normally Erik hated driving in LA traffic, but he could make an exception for you. Clearly you needed one of his attitude adjustments.

Oh imma get a workout, imma make sure both of us get a workout. He thought to himself,  as he merged onto the freeway.

The first mistake you made was giving Erik a key to your house, the second was giving him access to your body and the third was hanging up on him.

He made it to your apartment within forty-five minutes and you were well knocked out, sleeping so deep that you didn't hear your bedroom door creak open or when his heavy duffle bag hit the floor. 

Erik loomed over your dormant frame, staring at your butt due to your oversized t-shirt riding up at some point during your rest.  

He raised both hands and brought them down harshly against your backside, creating a loud slapping noise to fill the silence in the room, followed by your startled groan.

Your heart was racing and your butt stung like hell. You scrambled up, pulling your blanket over you and stared at the intruder. 

Fuck... He looked angry.

You rubbed your weary eyes, "W-what the fuck is your problem? Why are you in my house?"

"What I tell you bout hanging up on me?" 

"If you came here to piss me off you can leave right now. I don't have time for this, Erik." Rolling your eyes, you pulled your covers back over your head and rolled onto your stomach.

"Nah baby, see the problem is, I was on my way to the gym, but yo' ass wanna be stubborn. Wanna act out." He grabbed the blanket and tore it off of you, then took your foot and pulled you to the edge of the bed up against his crotch. "You feel that shit?"

Of course you did, every single thick inch that was pressed onto your right cheek was as hard as a rock. "Erik, mooooveee." 

"Oh nah, you getting this work. You got me fucked up." His voice was calm, but had dangerous intent behind it. Walking would probably be out of the question for the next three to five business days.

"We ain't doin' this-" You tried crawling away, but he pulled you back in, harder this time. You let out a little grunt as you made contact with his crotch.

"Nah I got sum' for you. Since you don't like to fuckin' listen." He unbuckled his belt and slid it out of the loops. Before you could move, your hands were held together in one of his as he tied his belt around them and moved you up the bed so he could trap the belt between your headboard. 

"Erik!" You struggled to pull your hands from his belt. He still had you on your stomach, raising your shirt completely past your neck. 

"You got some nerve to hang up on me while you wearing my favourite panties." He ran his hand down your back and stopped right above your bum, causing you to shiver. "You probably knew I'd come fix your ass if you did that shit." His hand continued down, grabbing your backside firmly and squeezing.

"Nngh!" You grunted and tried shifting away, but it was futile as the belt and his other hand held you in place. "You really doing too much."

"I ain't do shit to your disrespectful ass yet." His voice was so calm, but threatening. "Matter of fact-" 

SPANK!

A stinging sensation on your behind caused you to spring up as far as he would allow you to go. 

"Erik! Fuck, that hurt!" 

"Ain't this what happens to children who don't listen? I gotta teach you to be obedient?" Another spank. 

"Shit!" You gasped, rotating your hips away from him, but he pulled them back.

"Make sure you keep count for me, mama, otherwise imma have to start again. So what are we at?" 

"Fuck you, Erik." You whined. Even though spanking turned you on to some degree, you wouldn't allow his dominant kink obsession to be satisfied so early on.

"Bet." He chuckled, running his hand in between your thighs and over your clothed core. A smirk graced his lips as he could feel your arousal soaking through your black thong. Two of his fingers applied pressure between the folds. "You always so fucking stubborn. Acting like you don't like this shit. Like you don't want Daddy to be deep in them guts." 

SPANK!

This time, your groan came out more like a moan. The way his fingers were dancing on your clothed pussy while his strong calloused hand delivered blows to your behind, the perfect amount of pain and pleasure. 

"I love it when you moan, but Daddy forgot what number we was on."

Fuck, so did I. You mentally face palmed.

You knew damn well he knew, but once he got to work on your lower half, all of your rational thinking was out the window.

"T-two." You whined, bitting on your bottom lip.

"Wrong." And he delivered two more to account for your incorrect answer. "Lemme help you out, baby. We gon' start over, this time count for Daddy."

You really hated his annoying ass. 

SPANK!

"Ohh, fuck." You pulled on the restraints, digging your nails into your palms. 

"Huh? That don't sound like counting, princess."

You gritted your teeth, "O-one."

He smirked, "Better."

SPANK! 

"Two, mmmh fuck!" 

"You getting better already, baby." 

SPANK!

"Th-three, oh my gosh!" 

Your eyes were starting to tear up, all while pressure was building into your core. His fingers never ceased the movements they were making between your legs. At some point, he had slipped them inside of you and judging on the sounds your body was already making, you had lost and he had won. 

By the eighth spank, you were a moaning mess. Each number was slurred and combined with a curse. Your pussy was creaming all over his fingers as he curled them upwards and stimulated your clit all at the same time. Erik knew your body better than yourself. He knew exactly how to trigger a specific reaction that he was looking for.

"Damn, ma. You making a mess back here.."

"N-no more. Ohhhh!" Another orgasm had creeped upon you that had you bringing your knees to your chest while moving your body away from him. Your wrists were sore from pulling on the restraint.

He stared at his coated fingers and smirked, then turned you over with one hand so you were on your back. 

"Look at all this. Suck it." He grabbed your jaw, pulling your bottom lip down and jammed his fingers in. "Clean all that shit off."

Though you were tired, you let him let you taste yourself. It was faintly sweet. Your tongue swirled and swivelled around his thick fingers as he moved them back and forth. It was so sloppy and rough that drool was dripping down the sides of your mouth.

"I can't wait to fuck ya dirty lil mouth." He retracted his fingers swiftly, a popping sound filling the air as he did so. 

Erik got completely undressed, leaving only his cuban links on. You never told him anything about how much you enjoyed watching his chain dangle over your head as he fucked you.  

He undid the restraints on your wrists and you rubbed them from the soreness. 

"Don't relax now, we ain't nowhere near done." His hand was stroking his thick member, pre cum dripping from the tip. "Come here."

You crawled over face to face with his dick, and held it gently. Your thumb ran over the tip gingerly before running your entire hand on his length. Your lips eventually followed, wrapping around the top, slowly bobbing up and down.

His slight moans were like music to your ears. It reminded you that even though he acts aggressive majority of the time, you still had some power to break him just as he easily did with you a countless amount of times.

"Ah shit." He hissed as your pace increased. "Get it all in there." His hand moved to the back of your head, forcing your mouth to take every single inch. You slightly gagged and coughed as he released you off. 

"I hate when you do that!" You whined.

"Man, shut yo' ass up and put that mouth to work." 

Bet. You rolled your eyes before going back to sucking him off. Your tongue swirled all over his member, but your jaws were getting tired so you put your hands at the base of his dick. You twisted your hands while stroking up and down in a steady pace. 

He was so into it, little groans and moans escaping his lips. You could feel him shake, getting closer and closer to his nut. He gripped the back of your head once again, thrusting his hips hard and fast. You complained, pushing your hands against his thighs, but he was relentless. 

"Ahh fuck!" Right before he could release you added your teeth into the mix just to be spiteful. If there was one thing Erik hated, it was teeth on his dick. "Bit- Fuck!" He pulled himself out of your mouth, releasing onto your face. 

"I warned you nigga." You defended yourself as he gave you an irritated look. Before you could wipe his semen off he stopped you.

"Aht! You just tryna piss me off. Waste that nut and watch what happens to your ass." 

It felt slightly degrading to wipe his cum off of your face and put it back in your mouth, but the look in his eyes as he commanded you told you his threat was nothing to play with. 

He grabbed you by the neck, and titled your head back. "Show me." 

You opened your mouth, showing him that you swallowed every last bit of his nut.

He smirked. "Good." Erik brought you closer to him, kissing you passionately. Though he was an excellent kisser, you had no idea why he was so rough with it. Then again he was rough with absolutely everything. He nibbled on your bottom lip as he hands went to fondle your breasts. His calloused fingers pulled and squeezed your nipples before taking one into his mouth. 

You leaned back, soothed by the way his tongue ran over the nipple in a circular motion. You sighed and closed your eyes, hands running over dreads. It was all going nice until he decided to take revenge on you, nibbling on your nipple a little harder than necessary. 

"Ngh, Erik!" You tried pushing his head away, but he was latched on. He eyed you with a smirk and you used the heel of your hand to bop him on the forehead. "That hurts!" 

"Good." He leaned down to your soaking pussy and stuck two fingers in full force.

Your body jerked upwards, "Ungh!" Surprised at the intrusion you moaned as your face contorted. 

Erik roughly spread your legs apart. He kissed your inner thighs, leaving various teeth marks and hickies. His tongue flattened against your folds, traveling onto your clit. The weak spot. He made eye contact with you again, one that said I'm about to tear this shit up. His fingers continued to pump in and out of you, and his tongue applied pressure straight onto your clit. 

You cursed as you pulled his hair. "Fuck, Eriikkkk!" You moaned. He pushed your thighs upwards so he could get deeper as he assaulted your clit and pussy. The pressure in you continuously built up as he sucked harder. "Oh my God, Erik please!" 

Your closed eyes opened briefly to take a look at him. He looked focused, like he knew you were about to explode. You pushed on his head so he could ease up.

"W-wait, baby. Please. Ohhhhh!" You released onto him, but he continued his assault. "Erik!" Your body convulsed, but he held you down. You screamed as your thighs clamped onto his head. A huge wave of pleasure washed over you. Each orgasm was harder than last.

When he raised up, his mouth, moustache, beard and hand were covered in your juices. "Damn, ain't had someone give you head like that, huh? And you wanted a break from me? You out yo' fuckin' mind, shawty."

Immediately he had you on your back again, ready to push his thick member in. 

"W-wait. Shit." Your arm was covering your eyes, "J-just gimme a second to catch my breath."

Surprisingly he obliged, but as he waited, his took his length and rubbed it up and down your folds, coating himself in your juices.

"I ain't goin' easy on you. Only good girls get nice Daddy E, you been actin' like you want me to beat that pussy up. It's aight baby, imma do just that for ya spoiled ass." 

Apparently, the time you had was up. He thrusted his whole dick into you, "Ahh! Shit!" You whined and he moaned. "I said wait!" To say you were still sensitive was an understatement. 

"Nah mama, ain't no waiting. Imma fuck the shit outta this pussy." He started off with normal pace strokes, "Look at how she creaming all over me already. Missed a nigga, huh?" 

You pushed at his lower abdomen in hopes that he'd ease up. 

"Move ya hands." He demanded.

"Slow down." 

"I said move ya fuckin' hands, girl." 

You shook your head. Unfortunately, your mistake was being disobedient. You thought his current pace was bad, but when he grabbed your wrists and pinned them beside your head, each stroke had you feeling stars. He was able to go even deeper than before.

"Fuck! Oh, oh my gosh! Ohhhhh!" Your squeezed your eyes shut. 

"You so fuckin' tight, damn!" Erik pulled out and flipped you onto your stomach. 

Your hips were dragged upwards, and you were guided right back onto his dick. The sounds that filled the room were so erotic; someone stirring macaroni and cheese, clapping and a lot of water.

He ploughed through your tight pussy, the grip he had on your waist was sure to leave bruises in the morning. He palmed your ass before smacking each cheek. Your nails dug into the bedsheets as you tried to crawl away from him. 

"Where you goin'?" He pulled you back and grabbed one of your hands, pinning it to your back. 

"Please, I can't." You whined.

"Yes you can. Yes. You. Fuckin'. Can." He said between each thrust. "Take all this dick." He was thrusting so hard that your headboard was knocking into the wall. Hopefully your neighbours weren't home.

Tears began streaming out of your eyes, mouth quivering as another mind blowing orgasm had made its way onto you. 

"Can't handle it, huh?" He chuckled. His hand snaked around your neck, bringing back flush against scarred torso. His strokes changed to the ones that hit you deep in your gut as he applied slightly more pressure onto your throat.

Each one had you gasping, and biting your lip, while leaving nail marks with into his arm that was around your neck. He nibbled on your ear and sucked on your neck.

"That's too bad. You should be use to me by now." He sniggered. He let you flop back down, and you tried scrambling away again only for him to stop you. "What I say? Don't run and take this dick."

He pushed back into you, but this time taking both of your arms and pinning them firmly against your back.

He resumed his hard stroking pace, each one hitting you right on your G-spot. 

"Shit! It-it's too much, Erik." 

"Gon' and tap out then." He teased you. 

"Eriiiikk!" You whined.

He bit his lip, "Wassup? Tap out if you done, baby girl."

He knew damn well you couldn't tap out. Asshole.

"Ahh, almost there." He moaned out as his pace started to ease off. "Shit."

Erik continued to stroke into you until he couldn't contain himself. He spilled his seed deep into you, finally allowing the both of you to collapse down. His heavy ass laid on top of you, waiting for his member to soften. The mixes of your juices and some of his cum dripped out onto the bedsheets and your thighs. Good thing it was laundry day.

The both of you were catching your breaths. He finally slid out and rolled out of the bed. 

"I know it's been a minute, but she missed me. That pussy wet, wet." He grinned at you, flashing his canines.

"Fuck off." You groaned, absolutely sore from his demonic strokes. Just as you expected, walking was out of the question for the next couple of hours, maybe the entire day. 

He laughed as he went to the bathroom, "It be like that." He came out with rags to clean up, "Aye, let this be a lesson though. Hang up on me again and imma fuck yo' ass up, ma." 

Lesson learned.

I have no idea why it took me so long to write this story. I don't know if rough smut is my forte, even though its my favourite kind of smut. 

This is a [late] gift from me to you all :) 

P.S. Michael in a durag, shirtless and wearing a gold chain and dancing! CHILEEE WHEWWW! Someone get me a towel, a bucket, something! Honestly after watching that video I was inspired to finish this lmao!

I hope you enjoyed!

(Start/Finish: December 7-27, 2019)

[burninlovebutler]

29 - Be My Mistake* // Forever Winter Series

pairing: austin x fem!oc | word count: 5.9k-ish

summary: austin finds himself caught up in a whirlwind love affair with his chosen distraction. as his addiction worsens, the rose colored glasses begin to fog & his grip on control begins to wane.

warnings/notes: aspen lol, agitated!austin, smut, p n v (unprotected), pulling out ~toaster strudel vibes~, fluffy?, exchange of fun words, hints at SA (past, vague), substance use (weed, pills), addiction, short time skips, inherently saaaad u know the drill, plsss don’t be mad at me🫣, 18+ ONLY MDNI

previous chapter -> 28 - Temporary Fix*

see masterlist for chapter log + all other fics

vibes -> fw playlist❄️

And be my mistake, then turn out the light She bought me those jeans, the ones you like

I don't want to hug, I just want to sleep The smell of your hair, reminds me of her feet

You do make me hard, but she makes me weak

-AUSTIN-

I pressed my back against my front door to click it closed and let out a heavy sigh. My middle finger and thumb pinched the bridge of my nose trying to alleviate the tension headache building behind my skull.

What the fuck had I just done?

I did what I set out to do. What I agreed to do.

If I wanted to keep my dirty little secret from her, I needed to follow through. I just didn’t think it would hurt this much – I didn’t think I’d hurt her that much. But the band aid was ripped off and I didn’t want to think of what would come next. The mere idea of losing her - my best friend – it was too much. I needed to numb it out.

Using my right foot, I kicked myself off the door and mentally prepared myself for what I was about to walk into.

“What the fuck was that about?” Spreading my arms out in exasperation when I walked back to Aspen in my bedroom. “I thought we were on the same page.”

“We are.” She confirmed, dropping her arms to her sides. “I don’t care who you fuck, but it just pissed me off how hypocritical she was being. It’s fucked up of her to show up here jealous over you, when she’s the one with a boyfriend.”

“Did what she say upset you?” I asked, ignoring her accusation of Elsie being jealous.

“The fact that you ditched me at the party to hook up with your best friend then called me afterwards?” Her voice not nearly as pissed as you’d think. “Yeah, that’s pretty fucking shitty Austin. But just as basic decency – not because I'm in love with you.”

“Look – you’re right. I’m sorry. It was a shitty thing to do.” I stepped towards her and took her hands into my own. “Okay? I’m sorry. Can we just forget this happened?”

Chocolate brown eyes glanced up at me, anger flowed into playfulness, “Sure Aus.” She cooed with a wide smile.

The nickname sprung another tinge of pain in my stomach, nicknames were something only Elsie was ever allowed to use. Hearing another girl say them felt forbidden, as if it was some vile curse word you would only hear in snuff films.

“You’re not gonna chase after her?” She questioned, unfazed, crossing the floor to pluck an orange pill bottle from my nightstand.

“What?” I replied, surprised that she’d ask such a thing. I’d never met a girl like her, nothing seemed to really bother her. She must’ve been just as fucked up as me.

“Elsie? The girl that just ran out of your apartment?” She stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. She scanned the pill bottle she picked up, then set it down for another one.

I wanted to run after her, I really fucking did. My insides felt like they were being ripped to pieces, like I ran my intestines through a paper shredder. But I accomplished exactly what I set out to do – push her away.  “No, why would I do that?” I made my way over to her, curious as to what she was analyzing.

“Because you’re in love with her.” The words left her mouth effortlessly, not a hesitation, stutter, or hiccup. She twisted the white cap off the prescription bottle with a crack and poured two white bar-shaped pills from the container. She lifted her hand with an offer, “Want one?”

It took a moment to wrap my head around what she just said. She spoke it with such conviction, like it was a well-known fact. Like it was as obvious as the sky being blue or grass being green. A terrifying thumping pit fell into my chest, similar to one you’d get as a kid when you were on the verge of getting caught misbehaving. I shook my head with a small laugh, waving away the mere suggestion, “I’m not in love with her.”

“Whatever you say buddy.” She shrugged, taking a bar and snapping it in half with her front teeth, swallowing it dry, offering me the other half again. “If you’re not in love with her, then she’s definitely in love with you.”

I rolled my eyes at her and stole the half pill, using an overnight glass of water to swig it down. “She’s not in love with me, you must still be high.”

She let out a chuckle at my words, “See? You can’t even say her name.”

“I’m not-” I mentally winced at the involuntary stutter and let out an exhausted sigh. “I’m not in love with Elsie”

She gave me a skeptical ‘sure’ look with raised brows, “Mhm, whatever ya say babe.” Plopping on the bed, dangling her feet off the edge. “Just means I get ya for a bit longer.” Her full lips curled into a content grin.

My first instinct was to ask what exactly that meant, but I didn’t want to prolong the unnecessary conversation.

“Wait a minute,” Her brows furrowed, some realization clicking in her head and picked up another pill bottle, reading it once more. A booming laugh erupted from her, “Your last name is Butler?”

My eyes rolled again already knowing what was coming, “C’mon get it out of your system.”

She kicked her legs and fell back onto the bed, “You gonna fetch me dinner Butler?”

“Yep.” I nodded and sucked my teeth, hearing the same thing I’ve heard my whole life. “Mhm, let it out.”

“What about my laundry? You better separate my lights from darks.” She giggled, deep dimples denting her cheeks.

“Alright alright,” I readjusted on the bed, flipping to be on top of her, “That’s quite enough don’t ya think?” Pinning her arms at each side of her head, she reflexively tugged her head to the side to yank the blonde strands I had landed on.

She continued to laugh, “Ya know, an act like this might get ya fired.”

“Oh my god, shut up.” Her laughter was contagious, and I couldn’t help but crack a smile.

She stilled beneath me, her giggles fading, and hazelnut eyes lined with long lashes blinked up at me softly, “Make me.”

My gaze lingered on her. She was so beautiful when she was completely stripped down like she was then. Her features were so soft and feminine, gentle slopes for cheekbones adorned with deep valley dimples and a button nose. If she wore less glittery makeup and didn’t want to dye her hair pink, she could easily be a Victoria’s Secret model.

“You’re so pretty, you know that?” I voiced my thoughts.

She blushed and waved me away, “Oh shut up.” She giggled.

“Make me.” I turned the command back on her like some sort of power game.

She took the bait, taking my face in her delicate hands, seemingly analyzing my face the way I did hers. She drew her thumb across my cheekbone before pulling me down into a kiss. The more I kissed her, the less guilty I felt. Though, I wasn’t sure I’d ever not have some inexplicable guilt looming in the background.

Her fingers tangled into my wavy locks that were in desperate need of a trim and took the initiative of swiping her tongue across my bottom lip for entrance. My fingertips grazed under her thighs bringing them around my hips as our tongues danced together. She locked her legs around me pulling me against her core which I forgot was still only covered with lacy panties. I pulled from her lips and dropped my head into the curve of her neck to let out a low groan from the friction against my hardening cock. My hands trailed up under the borrowed shirt along her sides and he whined softly, “Aus.”

I drew away to look at her when she covered her face with her arm shyly, a stark contrast to her usually confident sex appeal. “Hey,” I said softly, trailing my fingers up her sides, “What’s wrong? You okay?”

She moved her wrist to cover her forehead, blush feathered across her cheeks. “Yeah… I don’t know, I don’t think I’m high yet.”

“Oh, um,” I pulled my lip between my teeth, “Well we can stop if you want or I don’t really…”

“No no, it’s okay.” Her smile pulled a little too tight, “It’s okay, we can keep going.”

Something about this scene gave a sort of, déjà vu moment. It reminded me of that New Year’s Eve night with Elsie, where she didn’t want me to take off her dress but told me to anyway, if that’s what I wanted. But this was a side of Aspen I’d never seen, she was never shy with sex or with her body for that matter. “Did I do something wrong? I really didn’t mean to upset you.” My hand found her thigh and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“No, no you didn’t. I just – I don’t know, it’s hard for me to um,” She cleared her throat, “Sex is hard for me when I’m sober. I just,” She pressed her lips together and diverted her eyes, “It’s- actually, don’t worry about it, it’s not a big deal.” Waving away the topic, her grin wide but her eyes dim.

“No, no because it’s obviously a big deal ‘Pen, what’s wrong?”

She propped herself up on her elbows, blonde strands cascading down her shoulder, “It’s really not a big deal we can just continue, it’s fine.” Her tone light and rather dismissive.

“’Pen there’s obviously something wrong I’m not just gonna keep going if you’re uncomfortable. You can tell me, okay?” I brought my hand to her face and gently placing a knuckle beneath her chin. “I wanna know so I can be more careful.”

Aspen exhaled deeply, “The guys at work can sometimes be… forceful.” Her eyes trailed off, focusing on the wall behind me. “And some of them don’t like the word no.” She stated quietly before reaching my eyes again, “It can be kind of triggering? I guess? To do stuff when I’m sober. Being high really helps with that.”

It took me longer than it should’ve for me to really understand what she was saying. It made me so sad for her. Since I was always Elsie’s plus-one to parties, clubs or bars, I’d seen my fair share of inappropriate bullshit from random men. They’d cross boundaries with her, even right in front of me, even when most people would just assume that I was her boyfriend. Of course a literal strip club would be worse, I just never thought of it that way. She never complained about work or any of her clients. I felt like an asshole for it not even crossing my mind. “Oh my god Aspen,” I felt myself involuntarily loosen my grip on her thigh, “I’m so sorry, I never meant to make you feel like that I just I didn’t I don’t-”

She giggled, “Sh sh.” Placing a finger on my rambling lips, “It’s not you, you never make me feel like that.” She said quietly, “It’s okay,” Moving her hand from my lips to cup my cheek, “I feel safe with you.” Her eyes soft and genuine. “I will let you know if I’m having a bad time, okay?”

I nodded, suppressing the urge to ask her once again if she was sure, “Okay, sounds good.” I leaned down and pressed my forehead against hers. “I would never do anything like that to you. I promise. Never ever.”

She folded her top lip over her bottom, “I know. I believe you.” Then dragged her thumb over my cheekbone. “You’ve got such a beautiful soul, you know that?” Her voice was so quiet, barely loud enough for me to hear her. “You’re really beautiful on the outside too.”

Her words took me by surprise, it’s not every day that a guy gets a compliment like that. I’d never had anyone tell me they think I’m beautiful, nonetheless my fucking soul? There was a small, unexpected flutter in my stomach. “Well, thank you.” I replied softly, pressing my lips to hers, “You-” I began but she cut me off with a deeper kiss.

I pulled away again to return the compliment, but she promptly placed two fingers against my lips before I could speak, “You don’t need to say anything back.” Her chestnut brown eyes locked with mine and her voice stern beneath a slight tremble. “When I say things to you, it’s because I mean them – not because I hope you’ll say them back.”

Her words loomed a heaviness that my increasing high couldn’t begin to comprehend. As soon as I nodded, she reeled me back into the kiss, deepening it almost immediately. She wrapped her legs around my hips and drew me down against her core. She disconnected from the kiss, “Please fuck me.”

“You’re gonna drive me insane.” I muttered under my breath before dropping my head in her neck, leaving sloppy kisses behind. I tugged her skin into my mouth with a suck as I began rutting my hips against her heat. She let out small moans every time my cock would roll up against her clit. She dug her nails into my back, “Fuck, Austin, I need you to fuck me.” She mewled.

I continued leaving messy kisses on her neck, focusing one on her sweet spot just below her ear, “I want you to beg for it.” I muttered against her neck and dug my nails into her hips.

“Austin please, please.” She whined, “Fuck, I need your cock so fucking bad.”

My cock twitched at her words, it was almost painful how hard I was. I couldn’t take it anymore, I needed her. I pulled back from her enough to slip my shorts off, letting my cock spring free. Aspen’s eyes tracked my member as she trailed her hand down and slipped beneath her panties, beginning to rub her clit.

The sight of her was driving me crazy. I precariously pushed her panties to the side and slid my tip up through her deliciously wet folds before gradually dipping into her entrance. The minute she felt me inside her, she let out a loud gasp. I slid into her slowly, inch by inch, just to torture her. I let out a groan once I felt myself reach the deepest part of her, “God, you’re so fucking tight.”

The hand that wasn’t working on her clit pushed open the button down she’d borrowed from me, revealing her lace covered breasts. She began kneading her right tit and playing with her hardened nipple over the sheer noir lace.

Control was slipping through my fingers already and it was reflected in my speed. “Fuck.” I muttered, as I propped up her thighs with my hands, using them as an anchor to keep her in place as I slammed in and out of her. Moans and curses poured from her lips the faster I went and the quicker she worked on her clit. “You feel so fucking good.” I groaned, squeezing her thigh and fucked her faster.

“Yeah?” She chewed on her bottom lip, “I like being a cock slut for you.”

In all the time we’d been well, fucking, we’d used words like that plenty before but in light of the information she’d just given me, it made me feel almost guilty for using them. “You do?” The question came out significantly more transparent than intended.

She brought her free hand to my own that was holding up her leg, “I do.” She replied softly and gave my hand a squeeze. “I like it. You know that.” And gave a small giggle reassuring me that it was the truth.

“In that case,” I bent down to continue my work on her neck, trailing short sucking kisses up to her ear. “You like being my little cock slut huh?” I whispered and smirked when I could audibly hear her enjoy the words.

“Yours?” She squeaked quietly.

Thoughtlessly I replied, “Mine.”    

Her breathing accelerated, “Aus I’m close.” She whined, wrapping her fist in the excess sheets.

Her moans got louder as I continued to ram into her, “C’mon baby, I want you to fucking cum all over my cock.” I hummed against her neck, but I could feel her still teetering on her own ledge. I gripped her legs tight, “Be a good girl and cum for me, will you?”

It didn’t take much after that for her to reach her finish line, her back arching away from the bed sharply, “Fuck! Austin!”

I pulled myself back upright, tightening my grip on her thighs and drilled into her as she was still riding her high. The knot in my stomach was already threatening to unravel but when her walls began to contract around me, I knew I was dangerously close, “Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna cum,” It felt like I was dangling from a string that was about to snap, “Fuck, where do you want me to cum?”

“Cum on me,” She answered quickly, brushing her hair off her chest, “Please cum on me?”

“Fuck,” I slammed into her trying to hold out for as long as possible but abruptly pulled out when I felt myself about to cum, “Fuck!” I groaned, pumping my cock until ribbons of cum coated chest and stomach. I rode out my high, leaving her completely covered. “Fuck.” I breathed out, using the back of my clean hand to wipe off sweat from my forehead. “You look so fucking good covered in my cum.”

“Yeah?” She giggled, dragging a finger dangerously close to one of the patches.

“Don’t.” I warned her, with a propped brow.

She slid her finger through the puddle, then plopped it in her mouth. “Mmm.” She teased, “You should fill my mouth instead next time.”

My jaw nearly fell, “Cut that shit out or I’m gonna have to fuck you again.”

She bit down on her thumbnail with a mischievous smile, “Would that be so bad?”

-weeks later-

Aspen and I walked hazily through Manhattan, my arm slung over her shoulders, our steps synced up. It was a rare morning where we weren’t high, just remnants of weed in our system. She had all but moved into my apartment from how often she stayed over. We were on one fuck of a roll. It was so refreshing to be around someone who doesn’t hound you about your choices, someone who made those choices with you.

The blonde leaned into me as she walked, “I’ve been having so much fun with you Aus.”

‘Aus’

No matter how much fun we had, I still hated it coming out her mouth.

“Me too ‘Pen.” My arm curled her closer. “I haven’t had this much fun in a long while.”

It was the truth; I hadn’t felt happy in so long, nonetheless have fun. Probably the last time I let myself have fun was Thanksgiving with Elsie. And even then, it was so tense. But Aspen made it so easy, I didn’t have to hide shit from her or tip toe around anything. It wasn’t complicated or painful, it was just fun.

“Guess we’re just meant for each other then.” She joked, nudging into me. We were on such a high that I didn’t wanna risk having to break her heart. I liked her sure, but I wasn’t in the market for a girlfriend. I wasn’t looking to fall in love, and I liked the casual dynamic we had.

“You haven’t talked about Elsie in a while?” She stated innocently.

I let out a sigh, “Yeah I know – I haven’t spoken to her since…everything.”

She hummed, nodding, “There’s something special about her isn’t there?” Her voice was casual, not happy, sad or jealous.

“Not this again.” I rolled my eyes, “I told you we’re just friends.”

“You don’t gotta put on a show for me Austin, I can see it in your eyes when you look at her.” Not a single trace of anger in her tone. “Hell, I can see it even when I just mention her name.”

I took a moment to gather my answer. I had gone over me and Elsie’s relationship a million times in my head, but each time it was like an ever-growing equation. The more I tried to solve it the less it made sense. “It doesn’t matter,” I stated plainly, keeping my eyes focused on some skyscraper in front of us. “She doesn’t feel that way about me.”

“Sure she does. I can see that too.”

“What are you, some all-seeing oracle?” Shaking my head, “No you just don’t understand, there’s nothin’ there.”

“Austin, if there’s anything I know, it’s girls.” She let out a giggle, “And there’s definitely something there.”

“Whatever, I don’t wanna talk about it anymore. It doesn’t matter, we’re – doing whatever we’re doing.”

“Fucking.” She clarified with a playful grin.

I laughed nudging back into her, “No, I really like my time with you. It’s fun.”

“Yeah,” Her tone dropped slightly, “I’m just a lesson girl.” Her eyes fell down to the pavement.

“Huh?” Looking down at her.

“You know,” She shrugged, wrapping her cardigan tighter around her body. “I’m always that girl. The girl you have fun with but not the girl you settle down with. I’m just a lesson; a bridge to that bring-home-to-mom girl.”

The words took me by surprise, and they made me sad for her.

Maybe I could be that for her. Maybe I wanted to be that? The one that doesn’t use her as a lesson.

Or maybe I just felt guilty, seeing as I too planned on being a temporary fix. This all started as a fucked-up game of blackmail after all.

My hand trailed down her arm and tangled our fingers together. I gave her a nudge, “You’re way more than a lesson ‘Pen.” Her girl-next-door brown eyes flickered up at me, “Not to me you aren’t.” She offered a sweet smile, looking like no one ever really gave her the chance to be more than a fuck buddy.

Once back at my loft it took no time for us to go another round. We flipped over on the couch with her propped up on top of me. She bounced on my cock sending a buzzing flare across my skin.

“Fuck.” I groaned, gripping onto her hips, helping to guide her rolling motions.

Small whimpers escaped her each time the head of my member embedded into the deepest part of her core. Her full tits bounced as she rode me, but I needed more. I wrapped my arms around her midsection to keep her place as I rolled my hips up into her, reaching new depths with the angular position.

“Austin!” She cried out, taking my control and took over the riding, this time even more frantic and messy.

The heightened sensation from the weed and whatever else she gave me earlier kicked in driving me dangerously close. “Fuck - you’re gonna make me cum if you don’t slow down.” I grunted through labored breath.

She nodded and fell onto me, her face and whimpers in my neck. “I want your cum baby, cum inside me please.” She begged, her hand working quickly on her clit chasing her own orgasm. From her rapid breathing it seemed she was close too.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” I moaned out, stealing control once more with my arms keeping her in place as I hammered into her in such a heated primal manner, for a brief moment I thought I might split her in two. Her moans and speed on herself matched my own, “Fuck I’m gonna cum.” I grunted, my thrusts into her sloppy and desperate.

As I reached my climax it seemed she did too, now taking over and fucking herself on my twitching cock as it spilled seed into her. Somewhere weaved amongst our curses and moans she uttered words I didn’t expect.

“I love you.”

My eyes widened immediately, and I expected her to stop but she kept going, riding out our highs together. She rode me until I had nothing left to give her. Until she finally fell on the couch next me, breathless.

“God that never gets old,” She exhaled then glanced over me with hooded hazel eyes. “Your dick is too good.”  She joked.

I forced a smile in an attempt to act normal, “You ride me too good.” My own chest rising and falling rapidly.

She used the back of her hand to wipe off a layer of sweat from her forehead. “Dickmatized.” She chuckled.

She was pretending nothing happened. Maybe it was just the “dickmatization” – whatever the fuck that means - or the drugs that made her say what she said. Hopefully that was the case.

The words scared the shit out of me.

She stretched over behind us to pluck a half smoked blunt from and ash tray, promptly lighting the end causing a burning crackle. As she put her lips and inhaled it sizzled red at the end. Her back landed next to me again, exhaling a thick puff cloud of smoke above us.

I plucked the brown roll from her fingertips and mimicked her actions. As the puff cloud seeped from my lungs, my eyes followed the swirls of smoke. Aspen’s mention of Elsie from earlier rang like church bells in my head. God, I missed her. I missed her laugh, her smile, our jokes. Even when I was high, I’d want to bring up our inside jokes, jokes that Aspen would never understand. As fucked up as it was, I wish it was Elsie here doing this with me. She stopped smoking with me after my breakdowns and she’d never do the things Aspen and I do. Not that I’d want her to – well, I guess in a selfish way I did. But I’d never let her.

It didn’t matter what I did or didn’t want from Elsie, I ruined everything. She wouldn’t take my calls and I didn’t blame her. Once I get my shit together, I’ll make it up to her. I’ll get sober and I won’t have to hide it from her anymore, I wouldn’t have to stay away anymore. We could go back to normal. I just needed to get this out of my system, like a last hurrah. This would be it. Forever. I’ll get sober and I’ll never touch anything ever again. But right now, I had it under control, and I was just having fun.

“Hey you okay?” The blonde nudged me obviously picking up on my dissociation.

“Yeah, yeah,” I snapped out of it, sitting up a bit. “Just uh- I think I’m coming down, we got anything over there?”

She stretched back over to the side table, holding her tongue between her lips while she focused. I heard a rattle of a bottle and just the noise relieved whatever internal struggle raged inside me. “A client gave me these, but I didn’t like them.” She shrugged, handing me the orange prescription container, “They made me sick, but you might like ‘em.”

I swiped the pad of my thumb across the label, “Thomas George” letting out a chuckle, “What kinda name is Thomas George?” I squinted reading the smaller print to see what exactly she handed me. “Oxycodone.” I read quietly exhaling when I realized what I was holding. “I’ve never tried these.” Looking up at her.

“You don’t have to take it if you don’t want to. I’ve heard that shit’s strong,” She slumped next to me, “But I think we only have coke left.”

That’s the last thing I wanted to hear, so far I liked coke, but I liked pills so much better. “Fuck.” I held the bottle up to my eyeline and shook the pills, the bottle half full.

How different could it be from anything else I’ve taken? It couldn’t be that different, right?

I nodded, “Okay, I’ll be fine right?”

She grinned, tucking a strand of pink behind her ear, “I mean, if it feels good, it can’t be bad right?”

Aspen wasn’t like me – not fully at least. She did drugs for fun, she had an inclination for some and really got stuck on others. But she had some way of not getting fully addicted to anything. I didn’t know how she did it, but it was hard to keep up with her.

But I had kept up so far and I didn’t want her to catch on that I might not have the same talent her. I couldn’t have her be another Elsie, especially after what she just said to me moments ago. I could handle myself, I had it under control, and I didn’t need someone monitoring me. And I didn’t want to end my fun with Aspen prematurely.

“You sure?” I propped a brow up at her.

She shrugged, “It’s up to you babe. I won’t be able to see him for at least a week.”

Just the mention of him, even without his name boiled my blood. I furrowed my brows at her, “Wait why not?”

“O-Oh,” She faltered like I just caught her in some secret, “Um, he’s on a business trip!” Her annunciation peaking up indicating there was something she was hiding.

“I know you’re lying, what is it?”

“I-I well u-um-“ She stuttered.

“Spit it out Aspen!” My voice louder and harsher than I intended, the Xanax comedown was beginning to hit me.

She flinched, “Um, they went on vacation.”

My brows lowered and I felt my pulse rising, “Vacation?”

“Um, yeah it’s uh-“ She looked down playing with her thumbs, “It’s their one year.”

I clenched my jaw, “And where did they go?”

“Uh- I think they went to Cabo?” She winced pulling back from me.

“Cabo!” My voice booming throughout the loft, and I could feel a vein pulse in my forehead.

She shuddered, “I’m sorry, I-I didn’t wanna tell you. I knew it’d upset you.”

Letting out a sigh, I squeezed my eyes shut. “I’m sorry ‘Pen.” Softening my tone, “I didn’t mean to yell like that. I’m coming down, okay?”

“It’s okay. I understand, I get like that too.” She kept her eyes down, playing with a stray thread on a pillow.

“Hey,” I picked her chin up to catch her eyes, “I really am sorry. I didn’t mean it. I don’t care about Cabo, I’m just pissed we have to wait for him to get back.” Lying straight through my teeth.

She relaxed her tensed body, “I can try to get something from the girls at work?”

“I’d really appreciate that.” The panic of our low stock and the vision of them on vacation began to overtake my mind. I needed to get it the fuck out. “You got water over there?” I winced at the thumping sound of my new upstairs neighbors, only worsening the pounding in my head.

She nodded and reached over, holding a cold glass of water for me. “Thanks.” Cranking the cap off the bottle with one hand and dropping a white pill in the palm of my hand. I tossed the pill back, taking the cup and swallowing it down with water.

“Now, how can I make it up to you?” I stretched behind us to place the glass down on the wooden side table.

The edges of her mouth curled into a soft smile, “Well we could-”

“Oh my god! What do they have a fucking elephant up there?” Pressing fingers into my pounding temple.

Aspen’s brows furrowed, “What?”

“The neighbors upstairs, it sounds like they’re playing Just Dance with cinderblocks for shoes.” I groaned spreading my digits across my eyebrows trying to ease the ache behind them.

She let out a small chuckle, “Babe I don’t think they’re even home.”

I rolled my eyes, “Are you serious? You haven’t heard them banging around and yelling for the past week?”

“No?” She laughed and nudged me, “I think you’re hearing things silly – or maybe you got...” She wiggled her fingers ominously, “ghosts ooooh.”

I curled my eyebrows together at her words thinking over the past week. “Yeah… maybe. I think I just have a bad migraine right now.” Shaking my head, thinking how the fuck she couldn’t hear the loud bustle from above. “How about we play some music?”

Aspen pulled herself up, “You have a migraine but you wanna play music?” She giggled, “You’re being so weird today.”

I stifled the kneejerk reaction to glare at her but just reached between us digging out my phone from the couch cushions. As soon as she saw me open Spotify and connect to my Alexa, she leaped over me. “Play something fun!” Tugging at my arm like a toddler, “We can dance!”

I knew if I didn’t give in to her, she wouldn’t drop it. I groaned like an annoyed boyfriend being dragged onto a dancefloor – which I guess, that’s exactly what it was. I begrudgingly peeled myself from the couch, mindlessly hit shuffle and dropped my phone on the couch cushion. The music lagged a bit before I finally met Aspen in the middle of my carpeted living room. She was clearly riding on her own high by the way she was bouncing around before the music even began.

An eerie calm began to wash through my veins and slow my brain. As the calming high from the pill ebbed in, I hadn’t even realized what song started playing until Aspen excitingly exclaimed, “I love Elvis!”

My heart plummeted into the pit of my stomach as the intro of Suspicious Minds creeped through the speaker. The nostalgic lyrics flashed memories of me and Elsie in my old dorm. Our impromptu performances were some of my favorite memories – they were innocent, careless, full of a forgotten hope that had long slipped from my fingers.

I could barely remember my life before Elsie, and I never thought there would be a life after her. I guess I always just assumed we’d always have each other. I never envisioned a time where I wouldn’t have her in my life or where we weren’t “Austin and Elsie” - nonetheless because of me. It wasn’t until that moment that the reality set in, that she may not forgive me. I wanted to believe that we could make it through anything, but this was uncharted territory. 

Seeing Aspen spin in Elsie’s place felt like a cheap replacement, like a knockoff designer bag or a low-quality pirated movie. The truth was that I missed her. I missed her so fucking much. 

Thankfully, the new drug seeping into my system began to numb my racing thoughts. The foreign feeling of it surprised me, it was reminiscent of Xanax but better - which I didn’t think was possible. If Xanax was a fluffy cloud, Percocet was an endless sea of silky fluff. The aching remorse faded into the background and the room seemed lighter than before. Aspen took my hand in an effort to get me to dance with her and for a split second I could’ve sworn it was Elsie. The initial excitement of the error didn’t disappear though and the music helped soothe the turbulence in my brain. 

If this was the bed I chose to make, maybe one constructed from sugary marshmallow fluff wouldn’t be so bad. 

Next Chapter -> 30 - It's Not Living (If It's Not With You)

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sorry this took so long - highkey this chp was so difficult for me to edit/finish for some reason, so, sorry if it’s not the best :/

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