#and im still surprised by that part that people dont normally sit down with themselves and talk about what's wrong give therapy to themselve

[seariii]

Wait what do you mean people don't normally talk to themselves and give themselves therapy-

[cynettic]

hi, i hope i'm not bothering you, but i can order a Scaramouche × Kitsune reader, the two met before the vision hunt (and before he was a fatui if you want) the reader was always in the same place, sometimes having a conversation , the good old routine, but with the hunting of visions the reader disappeared not wanting to give up his own vision, and years later a reunion, SFW or NSFW is by your will, thank you, I really admire your work

Summary - Scaramouche met you as a child, growing up with the constant assurance that you would be right there, sitting at your spot where he could meet you with every visit. He isn't happy when you suddenly disappear.

Pairing - Kitsune!Reader x Yan!Scaramouche

Warning - Slight Yandere warnings?

Penpal - Ahhh- hope this is what you were looking for. I couldn't find a spot to put much nsfw unless I considered writing more for the series ( I could, just put a request in if thats what you’re looking for ). But I hope you liked it!! You're not bothering me at all and I'm glad you like my work!

A/N - Alright- so considering that with the 2.1 update with Scaramouche coming in, I just wanna state beforehand that I wrote this prior so I dont know if we learn about his backstory or anything!!

Link for Part 2

Stay With Me

Scaramouche was used to the routine he’d found himself going along with every visit to Inazuma. As a child he’d pass through the wild fields that stretched just beside his hometown, adventurous and curious with all the tenacity of a child.

And of course you, a kitsune that sat perched on the ground awaiting the Kitsune Saiguu, was bound to notice him. Unlike the other earth kitsune statues, you hadnt turned to stone during your wait. Instead, staying in the same place did you interact with travellers and the locals, which included Scaramouche.

“Fox person!” The little boy chanted, pulling at the hems of your clothing. Bright blue eyes bore into your own, and you slowly shifted your head to pay attention to the boy who was on the verge of bouncing on you.

Humming in reply to his excitement, the little boy paused, both of his small hands still tightly clasping the fabric of your clothes. Soft matted hair brushed past his face in a messy manner, calling out the boy for his boundless running and rebellious urge to keep his hair messy despite his parents wishes.

“Play with me!”

Staring at the boy only a moment longer, you simply chuckled at his antics. “I’m afraid I cannot move from the spot in which I dwell~ Perhaps I’ll be able to entertain you if you bring cards?”

But the young boy had made up his mind at the statement to which you couldn't move. A pitiful frown enfluged his face as he cast you the nastiest glare a five year old could muster. “Boring!” He shouted into the distance of the fields, dramatically turning on his heels and bouncing up into a sprint away. You watched his small figure fade away into the background, absentmindedly sighing and returning to your mindless thoughts.

As a child, Scaramouche would pass by you fairly often. Frequent when he asked you to play with him, and storming away with the same expression when you denied him. Nothing out of the ordinary, you’d lived for an exceptional amount of time, and even though grumpy children were not your specialty, you’d grown accustomed to their behaviour.

Growing up, Scaramouche got no better. You soon noticed his violent tendencies before they became an issue, the way the children shied away from him when playing Temari. Hiding in front of a tough exterior, he scared them away and laughed, approaching you later with tearful sob.

“Will you play with me?” He asked again, trying to hide the fact that he still wept when the other children pushed him away.

But your answer stayed the same, helping him wipe his tears and coaxing him into your arms. Not the first time you’d made contact with a human, but the first time you held them in such an affectionate manner.

It was clear Scaramouche was beginning to see you as some sort of pillar of reassurance when he began running away from home to simply ask to be held. You always welcomed him with open arms, urging him to head back to his household and sort things out. There was no harm in simply providing love and comfort for a child who received none was there?

“Now now, hurry back home little one. Your parents must be growing awfully worried if you’re out by this time at night.”

“My parents dont care about me!”

Darkness slowly pooled into the fields, an obscure shade covering the two of you from the tree you were under. Biting back form your normal emotionless statements, you pondered for something to soothe and convince the boy. Misunderstandings and hardships were normal from what youd seen with children, and you could only offer your hand on his shoulder, a promise. “Go back, I promise to stay here if anything further happens. But you shold give them another chance dont you think?”

And so he’d sprint back to his hometown, and you wouldnt hear from him again till he ran up right up to you a few days later. Begging you to play a game with him. The normal you supposed, and with a grin that seemed to stretch wider with every day, you told him the same thing you told him every single time.

“You cant move?!” Scaramouche nearly yelled one time, tiny fists curling at his side. “Thats… thats stupid!”

“It is isnt it?” You only smiled in response.

Unsatisfied with your response, he clawed your arm, pulling you with all his might. Strong, you realized with surprise that he was much stronger than most children his age. Easy enough to tug away from, but strong enough to take you off guard.

Snapping your hand back to your side, you narrowed your eyes. You weren't angry… no, you hadnt felt strong feelings like that after the disappearance of the Kitsune Saiguu. “Do not attempt to move me,” was your curt response, said in the most stern voice you’d used with the boy.

He’d looked at you only a few seconds longer before bursting into tears, turning away and running. You didn't feel regretful for defending yourself, only turning once more with a tired sigh to stare at the distance.

But just as you stayed ageless, Scaramouche grew older. Still, crossing each others pass was inevitable when you sat in the plains, just alongside the path that lead to his hometown.

With a permanent scowl that seemed to stain his face, he still seemed to have mature a tad bit. Maybe hadnt improved in the social department, because he now scared children and adults and alike, but more mature…

“Hm? Whats this?”

Once again, sitting criss cross under the large tree that provided the perfect shade on sunny days, you stared at the boy expectantly. His hands hesitated at your question, but he resumed shuffling. “Cards,” he simply said in response.

A small featherlike feeling flitted across your chest, making you feel lighter and… almost ticklish. A small smile crossed your face, and you recognized the emotion to be one of adoration. For him to have remembered words you’d spoken years ago, it gave you a warmth you’d sorely missed. A warmth akin to watching him and the other children grow up.

“Ew, dont smile like that, its creepy.”

Swatting at his head, he frowned further when you laughed. “You’re more mature,” you pointed out, lazily leaning back. “You need to work on your people skills though, as someone who hasnt moved in years, thats pitiful that I know more than you.”

“Shut it!”

But as he grew up, you hardly got to see much of him. He’d reached your height and then fully disappeared, leaving no goodbye. And much as you hated to admit it, you hardly noticed, not when days passed in a flurry. You were used to being by yourself, entertaining the kids and greeting the people that passed by.

Sometimes, there’d be the reminder of the warmth he’d given you. But it was quickly overshadowed by your duty to remain seated in wait for the Kitsune Saiguu. A dedication kept in its earnest, but beginning to dwindle.

Inazuma was beginning to change.

“The vision decree…” you repeated, staring at the traveller who’d mentioned it to you. “Care to elaborate?”

The new archon threatenening to take away visions from every inhabitant of Inazuma. It was preposterous, so much that you didnt move. Your vision meant the world to you, but so did the Kitsune Saiguu. You werent sure just how you weighed the two till you saw civilians passing by you, ones you recognized, ones that didnt recognize themselves.

It was snowing, cold snowflakes melting into your skin while your hair soaked in the water. Unflinching, you hummed to a little tune, awaiting someone to pass you so that you could attempt to strike a conversation of somesort. The unnatural weather distanced all who entered the field though, and you simply waited. For the Kitsune Saiguu, for someone, or for some form of entertainment, you didnt know. You Slowly closing your eyes, you decided not to care.

“Im gone for five years and you’re still sitting here like a dumbass.”

Eyes snapping open, you find yourself face to face with a complete stranger. Dark purple hair with dark blue eyes, piercing and dangerous in a way you dont recognize at all. Fancy clothing that you cant identify or put a name on.

The boy took a step towards you, crouching down to stare at you directly. His eyes scanned over your figure briefly, and he brushed the snow out of your hair and ears with one flick of his hand. In the next, he was offering a coat to you. “Take it, you’re probably getting cold.”

You leaned forward, ignoring the coat he offered you. Gently, you raised your hand to brush the hair from his eyes, centred on the way his pupils widened. Offering a small moment of surprise and one glimpse into the small childlike blue eyed wonder he was. “Kiddo,” you breathed, pulling your hand back and scanning him once again. “You’ve grown.”

“And you havent.”

Snickering at his comment, you took the coat. You didnt need it, but he looked like he didnt either. He was already wearing clothing that kept him warm, and with careful observation and an untouched coat, you settled on the fact that he’d brought it here. Brought the coat here for you.

“Still havent improved with those social skills of yours have you?”

He scoffed, letting himself fall back till he was sitting fully. “I dont want to hear it from someone who refuses to move an inch for years. Lazy ass.”

You open your mouth to retort, but instead laugh at his comment, shaking your head. “Gained some humour on your journeys have you? Bad words too it seems. Anyways...” He had sat down, which meant that he meant fully well to sit, chat, and catch up. That familiar warmth filled your chest, a contrast between the cold snow. “Welcome back.”

It wasnt often that Scaramouche visited Inazuma, but when he did, he was sure to visit you. The two of you would sit down for hours, talking about the most trivial topics. He never mentioned what he did in his time away, and you never asked.

But things began to go downhill when news of the vision decree finally took action.

“Its no joke anymore! The Raiden Shogun has taken custody of almost a hundred visions!”

In that moment you made your decision, weighing your vision over the Kitsune Saiguu. Awfully selfish you knew, but you’d spent decades sitting there in wait.

And for the first time you sat up from your position on the ground, clumsily stumbling upright but gaining balance. It takes a few steps until you’re back to normal, and you begin your journey in order to escape the Raiden Shogun’s vision hunt decree.

_-_-_-_

You didnt expect to see him again.

Long grass tickled at the skin of your legs, making you adjust your footing to no avail. Sun slowly descending past the mountains to mark the start of an evening and the soon approaching night. A normal day of exploring the mountains and islands of Inazuma, observing the constant changing situation, and running away from the vision decree like a favourite past-time.

With the exception of a firm grip on your wrist.

Dark purple like hair, same hate brimmed eyes and lavish clothing. You recognized Scaramouche the moment he had appeared, looking just as surprised as you were. That being before he snatched your wrist and snarled, “You.”

You wouldve considered it pure luck to find him, an unexpected reunion with someone you actually remembered. But no, his tone had some predatorial edge to it that had you cringing. Hard. “Yes, its me.” You answered back with a frown, trying to loosen his hold. “Nice to see you too, is something the matter?”

He only seemed confused at your words, pulling you closer.

“Something the matter?” He asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Well, to start, you’re not sitting at your damn spot.”

Taken aback for a moment, you wondered if that sole fact was what drove the boy to such lengths. Surely he couldn't be so troubled over the fact that you moved… “The vision hunt decree, I'm sure I mentioned that I was sticking around in wait for the Kitsune Saiguu. I decided to wander around and avoid the conflict until I could settle back.”

“You could’ve waited for me,” he stated almost instantly. “I could have protected you.”

You felt your brows furrow quizzically. “Wait for you? Why in the world would I-”

“Why wouldn't I?” He pushed you closer till he could fully grab both wrists, taking a step closer as if his words would resonate clearer in your head. “You took care of me as a child, it would only be fair for me to repay the favour.” But he only seemed to be looking for excuses. “And besides, you can't just up and leave… I didn't know.”

Before you could interject with the obvious answer that he didn't need to know, you stopped. You’d lived decades, nearly centuries if you’d kept count, and you had learned to read people's expressions even when you’d stayed away from them for so long. He didn't know. It hit you in the most unpleasant way that he wasn't aware that it was none of his concern. To him, you were just another thing he needed to keep track of, something he had control over. His face basically screamed, ‘I depended on you to stay in that place.’

Deep breath in and out. You’d lived long, longer than him, you could deal with a child throwing a tantrum.

“Don't worry,” you gestured to the vision ta your side. “I'm strong enough to protect myself, I appreciate your concern, but I’ll be back when the vision decree ends.”

Unconvinced, he pulled you closer, just until your faces were mere inches away from each other. “No,” he said in a stern voice. “I’d rather you by my side, where I can protect you. I hate to question what you’re capable of, but you’ve been sitting down for as long as I’ve known you for.”

“I’ve lived decades more than you,” a simple reply, hopefully enough to get by him. You snatched your hands back with ease, ears flinching slightly when a cold breeze swept past you. But you stayed firm, not wanting to look vulnerable against the imposing air he had around him.

Still unconvinced. “You’re coming with me.”

“No I’m not.”

You’d known him as a kid, watched him grow up along with all the other small ones in his hometown. And maybe you admit you cared a smudge bit about the warmth he gave you when settling down to play cards, but he was different. He had changed in the worst way and you weren't about to deal with it.

“So you’re not coming with me voluntarily?” He asked softly, taking a small step to which you responded by stepping back. He had his hands up, as if telling you he wouldn't hurt you. But the way he said voluntarily sent shivers up your spine.

“No.” Hand on your vision, you held your own hand up threateningly.

He took his time when tilting his head, taking a deep breath in, and then appearing in front of you in just a short stride. Too quick to react, you hesitated before you could attack him. You didn't want to hurt him, he was still a child in your eyes, and you paid the consequences for that. He slid his hand just along your neck, and a jolt of electricity seemed to thrum inside you just as you collapsed in his arms.

Scaramouche was quick to catch you, hoisting you up into his arms dearly. “I do hope you’ll come to understand,” he said softly, cradling your unconscious form in his arms. Making sure not to crush your tail when carrying your legs, he looked past the mountains, sigh resting on his lips.

Because Scaramouche liked to have control of the things he held dear. Like keeping all your valuables neat and tidy in a closet, he was happy knowing you were safe and stable in that spot you always sat on.

And he couldn't have you moving could he?

[taeghi]

angry sex - bts

jin

“god. I cant believe you jin!” you yelled as the two of you stormed into your shared apartment, jin slaming the door behind him.

“well i cant believe you either y/n!” he retorted back at your, practically throwing his shoes off.

the two of you went to a dinner that night with the other members. the whole car ride to the fancy restaurant was strangely quiet, but you didnt ask jin about it. when you guys got the restaurant, he barely spoke a word to you.

you were talking to jungkook beside you when  you heard jin speak, “yah! namjoon, i know y/n looks like a slut tonight but keep your eyes up here.” your eyes bulged out of your head as he finished his sentence. you looked down at your dress, sure, your boobs were kind of showing, but you wouldnt call yourself a slut.

you angrily stood up and walked out of the resturant, hearing jin groan from behind you as he excused you two from the table for the night.

so now, the two of you stood facing eachother, eyes narrowed at each other, breathing heavely.

“i cant believe you would call me a slut in front of your friends.” you groaned, your hand coming to rest on your forehead.

instantly, something clicked in jin. his head turned to the side a bit, and his eyes scanned your entire body. “ well that’s just what you are isnt y/n? a slut.”

you were about to snap at him, but was cut off by him pushing you up agaisnt the wall behind you.

“ you like the feeling of all these peoples’ eyes on you dont you?” he spoke lowly into your ear as his hands roamed your entire body. “ you like knowing that all those little boys were imagining doing things to you- dirty things.” your breath hitched in your throat at his words. his lips sucking on your jaw and neck as his hands moved underneath your dress. “those are just little boys though y/n, let me show you what a man can do to please you.”

yoongi

there your boyfriend was, sitting on the couch that you left him on earlier that day. by just standing in the doorway you could tell that he didnt do any of the chores you told him to do.

“so yoongi, is all of the cleaning done?” you asked him as you took off your shoes, causing him to jump a little due to not hearing you come in.

“uh no.” he responded, taking his feet off the coffee table.

you sighed, “of course you didn’t, im the only one who needs to clean.” you walked into the kitchen and saw the pile of dirty dishes in the sink.

now you heard yoongi stand up from his position and come into the kitchen.”what?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowed as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“i said that i’m the only one who ever cleans around here.” you repeated yourself, preparing for the fight that was about to begin.

“i clean around here.” he stated, coming closer to you.

“really when? because i havent noticed.”  

he then pushed you against the kitchen counter, his hands on the counter behind  you so you couldn’t move. “i do the laundry, i clean the bathroom and i sweep. so i do clean around here.”

the closeness between  youtwo, made you almost forget what you were fighting about as he spoke those words. “fine, you do help a little, but not doing the chorse i tell you t-” you were cut off by him basically smashing his lips onto your own.

“shut up and let me fuck you now yeah?” he said as he pulled back quickly, you only gettign enough time to nod before he’s ripping both of your clothes off and fucking you abruptly on the kitchen counter. it was messy, and it really did not help get your apartment any cleaner.

hoseok

he was furious. beyond angry. he wasnt your normal sunshine that you and everyone else has come to love. his face was blushed red from yelling. veins in his neck were very prominent. his eyebrows were furrowed and he looked extremely hot. sure, you didn’t like him being mad at you but, he just looked so damn good.

he sighed, “i cant keep yelling anymore y/n.” he said and sat down on the couch, his head in his hands.

“then dont.” you smirked, coming closer to your boyfriend.

“what?” he looked up at you.

“fuck me instead.” now the both of you were smirking, the fight leaving your guys’ minds as you climbed onto his lap. his hands immediately gripped onto your waist, and you starting to grind down onto his member. his lips attached themselves onto your neck, biting harshly, making sure to leave marks. soft moans fell from your lips as your tilted your head back and closed your eyes. his hands now letting go of your hips and starting to rip off your clothing instead.

your breaths mixed together for the rest of the night. his roughs, still kinda angry thrusts made you forget everything that happened a few hours before.

namjoon

you have never seen him like this before. his nosrils flaring, his chest moving fast from heavy breathing and his eyes narrowed at you. his hands were even flinching at his sides.

you guys had been fighting for almost a hour now, over somethng that didnt even matter anymore. you were furious at him, you wanted to keep fighting with him, but as his previous actions faded away and turned into lust, you knew it was over.

“come here baby girl.” he demanded, anger still laced in his voice. you followed his command and walked the few steps towards him until you were directly infront of him. “i think youve been quite mean to daddy tonight, maybe you should make it up to him, and he might do the same to you.” you nodded in response, his words fading your anger away and filling it with lust. “good. now strip.”

jimin

jimin rarely got mad, but he did get jealous- extremely jealous. so, when he was pushing you back into his bedroom and away from the boys, you werent really surprised.

“jimin, what is it now?” you asked, your arms crossing over your chest.

his eyes scanned your body before responding, “look what youre wearing.”

your head and eyes looked down to see your outfit; your sleeping shorts, that you guess are pretty short, and a tank top.

“all of the boys were looking at you, biting their lips, scanning your body.” he spoke as he walked closer to you, pulling your hips into his. thats when you felt it, his hard member poking into your hip. “they want you baby, but they cant have you since youre mine. only mine.”

“yes jimin, i’m only yours.” you smirked at him, loving where this was going.

he smashed his lips onto yours and pushed you down onto the bed, him landing softly on top of you. his hands went up the sides of your body roughly, and his hips grinded into your own.

“i want you to be extra loud this time, make the others remember who you belong to.” he whispered into your ear before biting down onto your neck, a loud moan leaving your lips instantly, “thats it baby, be loud.”

taehyung

he was pinning you onto the bed, his whole weight on you so you couldnt move. you had made him mad, so you were expecting this.

“youve made me very mad kitten. i think you should be punished.” his raspy voice spoke.

almost instantly, you were stripped from your clothes and sprawled over his lap on your stomach. his hands roamed your ass before giving your right ass cheek a quick slap. the fabric of his jeans rubbing against your stomach since he was still fully dressed. “count every spanking or i start over. understand kitten?” he asked.

“yes sir.” you responded.

your punishment went for another 19 spankings, your ass red as hell and tears streaming down your face in pleasure and pain- a feeling  you loved.

“youve taken your punishment very well kitten. i think its time for your reward,” taehyung said, a smile spreading across his face as his long fingers started to play with the lips of your pussy. you bit your lip, trying to hold in your moans from the pleasure he was giving you. suddenly, a hand came down on your sore ass cheek, causing you to yelp out. “stop holding back, let me hear your pretty moans y/n.”

with that, for the rest of the night, all that was heard were your moans and screams of pleasure and other erotic noises.

jungkook

he glared at you from across the club, not believing what you were doing. you knew he was watching, it was all apart of your plan. angry jealous sex is what you have been craving recently, so that is what you will get.

you were standing infront of jimin, your hands running up and down his thighs as you leaned over a little, trying to push your boobs into his face.

“uh y/n, i dont know what youre doing, but i think you should stop.” jimin spoke to you, a bit taken a back and frightened. he saw the way jungkook was looking at the two of you and it was not good.

“nono jimin, its all part of my plan. i need really good sex tonight.” you reassured jimin, a smirk almost instantly spreading across his face,

“well i think its working because hes coming over here now, and he does not look happy.” suddenly, you felt a warm hand grip your wrist and spin you around.

“y/n. its time to go.” jungkook spoke calmly, but you could see the way his eyes pierced into yours, and how his jaw was clenched, that he was beyond pissed. you nodded to him and followed behind him as he started walking towards the exit, but not before smirking and winking back at jimin.

as soon as you were outside, jungkook pushed you up against the brick wall outside the club.

“you should know how i feel when men look at the way jimin hyung was looking at you like that y/n.” jungkook growled lowly into your ear, his hands griping your hips. “you’re mine. no one looks at whats mine like that.” you were about to respond until his warm mouth bite down on your neck, the cold fall breeze instantly cooling it. “im going to have to mark you everywhere so everyone knows whats mine.”

[iconsumeheadcanons]

persona characters autism headcanons!

hi im autistic and i started my day with sun so now im !!!!!!!!! some of these headcanons are from elsewhere on tumbr, but i dont know where :(((  so i am hoping someone out there knows that n that everybody knows that i love them <3

(also go check out mollypaup and i think hypeswap if you havent already! they post some good stuff autism+adhd hc too!!! i think.. oh! and thieves-in-the-palace!!!)

P5

Joker

there was some artwork from someone on tublr..where they pointed out that he doesnt really talk outside the metaverse so--hes hyperverbal as joker and just near nonverbal as akiren

he stims ALL THE TIME. that phone thing, the pencil thing, the little tappy tap of his foot, pulling at his bangs when hes embarrassed/smug. someone get him a fidget spinner. he’ll prob learn to do tricks with it

he probably sucks at focusing in class, like i know its just the game design but hes always surprised out of his daily “star out the window at the nearby office building” when his teachers ask him questions

mona mentions when the pt is at Wilton for the first time (after they run into shido) that joker eats like shit, and that could have multiple causes at the start of the story of course, but when i first played i thought that joker was a picky eater and that the variety (and amount of food) at the buffet would be an Ordeal...

tho mona makes that comment bc joker looked pale after having a little ptsd moment from shidos voice, but i didnt know that the first time i played

maybe when joker makes a face at ryuji putting so much ginger in his gyudon? joker probably does not like pickled ginger lol

his favortive foods are all spicy, which is why the curry he makes for his friends is always ‘overly spicy’, and why kasumi makes him a curry bento and joker kept going “...?” .... “....?!”

overly reflective glasses have been a great plus for him bc now he never has to make real eye contact every again!

mona Soft. play with Ann hair. maybe Braid. nice

puns (Gorou the Goroumet)

he has so many options to be straight up rude sometimes in game. he probably no clue on his own, which is why he defaults to Not Talking. people probably mention his constant scary face, which is just him being nonexpressive, squinting at all the fucking bright lights, and Tired

executive function who? we do everything last minute folks

high pain tolerance, which is why he was the kid that was always climbing trees in elementary school to get basketballs unstuck from the branches

his sixth sense lets him see treasure and possible places to climb/crawl bc 1. Shiny? Steal it. Steal it Now. and 2. Could i fit in that? Time to Find Out

probalby a bit of a klepto too oops. he’ll return it tho!! but he has to do it dramatically or he’ll die

cant sit properly to save his life

smells and touch are Great, they can keep him grounded when his brain goes off to police or dead rivals or guilt or

if a friend hung out with him and gave him total reigns of the agenda, he would choose to nap on the floor while his friend does something off to the side quietly

hyperfocuses on handy tasks (i.e. lockpicks, coffee brewing, cleaning, his part time jobs) and some things like movies and books. everything else is a tossup

his (normal) navigation app is his most used app bc he still doesnt know where hes going, even though he only goes to the same few places in the city

hates being sweaty, literally cannot stand it. probably double exhausted during the summer

but Needs Compression so hes often Struggling

Futaba

paraphrase from p5d “i have no motor skills so i cant play rhythm games :(” need i say more? (i will regardless)

echolalia all the time, from anime, memes, the PT

those headphones she wears all the time? noise cancelling ear protectors babey

only talks about her interests, “normal” talking is Not Easy, but she is still communicative w others despite her worries. shes not “hard to understand” at all but she feels the anxiety nonetheless

only talks informally, cannot talk ‘politely’ with out imitating someone around her

shes had meltdowns and anxiety attacks in game :( i relate so hard

Technology. thats it

def had an egypt phase that pops up every few months. probably came from yu-gi-oh

has Immune to Bright Lights buff.  joker is very jealous

“Time to make like a tree and leave!” and 30 other iterations

video game metaphors are the only ones that makes sense to her

probably relates hard to robot characters in anime for their general androgyny and confusion about human emotions and connections

probably gets told that shes “too smart to be on the spectrum” by teachers >:( she fails their classes on purpose

wakaba’s autistic too that just how it is

the Connection that she establishes with Joker is so Warm. my life goals include adopting an older brother like futaba has lsdkfjslkfj

also eater of 5 foods only, i mean, she brings cup ramen to the beach. i just really admire her...

hides in small spaces for comfort

doesnt she have like uhhhhh hyperthymesia or something like that?

Yusuke

art

his entire social link is learning how humans work, which i relate

talks seriously all the time

“sarcasm? who is that? are you saying I was sarcastic?...how?”

cant remember to take care of his body, and madarame did not help with that either

lot of uncomfortable staring, hes overdoing the eye contact thingy

infodumps all the time, doesnt know hes doing it

needs a lot of support even if he doesnt think he deserves it. no one ever complains about helping him out tho

visual stims my friends

he didnt know that you could look up pictures on the internet but he does know you can stream live videos of waterfalls and fluffy animales!!

I am certainly in the mood

for something salty today.

he and joker are scared of math. numbers do not interact

Yusuke, futaba, and akiren are a trio and i know this bc their first day of non-thievery interacts is Akiren clearing Futabas room w/o permission, futaba hyperfocusing on destroying medjed, and yusuke rearranging futabas figurines so they are more visually appealing

morgana is a support friend for all of them bc igor knows they need it

P4

Souji/Yu

yes, he mostly wears gray semi formal clothes bc parents tell him to, no, he will not changes this

Schedule or Death

“sorry, could you repeat that?” “huh? oh yeah, i was saying that--” “yeah that’d be cool.”

cats, fishing, he just likes to be quiet. you can literally spend a day at the beach just to think if you want, and that is what yu want

has a lot of scripts for things (of which he shares with nanako!) but if he runs out he just stops talking..

inaba is a godsend bc its so fucking quiet and warm

he Yearns to hold his friends hands, but he shies away from a lot of touch (excepting yosuke, teddie, and nanako)

Cooking and Cleaning makes the world better. he and joker vibe together with this

unlike akiren, he strong arms any executive dysfunction into Be Productive or Else. his punishment is feeling the pure anxiety of having to make up for ‘lost time’. (another symptom of his workaholic parents)

writes everything down, notes are very neat, has pages dedicated for bad doodles when hes not feeling his usual Super Classroom Focus

Cannot handle secondhand embarrassment (most often caused by yosuke) and will quietly slip away to random cats or origami folding

hungry, crunch crunch folks. probably needs chewelry bc he used to chew on his shirt collars when he was younger.

cleans up after everyone in the food court, constantly worries about them accidently hurting themselves. likely spends half of group conversations watching peoples hands

he canonically eats expired food, nanako plz help your brother

really clumsy, but people only notice after they decide that he is a cool person

video games are too chaotic for him

exhausted every night from the pure amount of masking he does, if a friend spends the night (or is like yosuke) they will know his more comfortable weirdo self (tho everyone knows hes a weirdo eventually)

hyperempathetic, sometimes just understands animals and children better than peeople his age or older

Yukiko

her jokes

she and souji get in ‘trouble’ together, she and joker commit crimes together

she and chie have to coordinate outfits, its important

actually understands metaphors, but does not understand people

like me, had no clue that creepy kid was flirting with her

she is very angry when she has meltdowns that might involve slamming doors and shouting. her parents call these ‘tantrums’ and ‘unfitting for a polite daughter’ but really thats because her meltdowns tend to be caused by arguments w her family after a long day of school and TV world traipsing

the metronome meme, except hers goes between Loudest Person in the Room to Quietest Pin Drop in the Planet. she is completely unaware of this

her atmosphere brightens when chie appears. that is not only the lesbian energy within her, but also because chie is like her Favorite Person

Cannot wear Pants. No (tho she wants to try it! but she puts them on and her soul instantly squashes)

happy flappy lesbian! watch out!

Naoto

the pouty face. all the time lskdfjlasdkf

hes really snappy sometimes and i love that for him. he and akechi should fight just to see what would happen (please read Bang Bang Shoot Shoot on AO3)

“do not touch me or my hat, thank you”

no one has ever seen him shutdown and no one ever will (except for his grandpa)(and kanji)(and rise)

probably likes certain food textures and will stand for nothing less, probably feels embarrassed about his preferences with friends

constantly jumps between ‘everybody hates me so i should act like them so they dont hate me’ to ‘i refuse to be anything but very comfortable as myself, and i dont care that im making you upset sir’

he and souji are the king and queen of subtle stims, but for unhappy reasons :(

does not make jokes. cannot joke around. understand? yes, do? no.

loose clothes are the only good clothes, but all tags and obtrusive seams will be obliterated by kanji tatsumi

not very empathetic so he probably comes off as an asshole to strangers (like when he throws away his classmates confession letters without reading them) but he tries so hard to sound comforting when his buds are struggling.

his understanding of others emotions/reactions come from his learning as a detective, which seems cold+clinical to others, especially compared to souji, whos completely unexpressive but very introverted people person

P3

Hamuko/Minako/Kotone

big personality!! very people-oriented!! koromaru and her are buddies!! when shes having a real bad time, shes very quiet and expressions turn off

interrupts herself in the middle of conversations all the time. no one knows where shes coming from. her brains is thousands of km ahead of her body

bouncey legs, swingin arms, twirlly skirt, little somersaults! when will she stop? never!

very obvious music stims with her hands and arms! people are like “oh there she goes! happy as usual!” shes listening to minatos heavy metal playlist

switches from exhausted to excited within milliseconds. no one can predict, not even her

SEES has to ask her for context all the time cuz she’ll just continue shit from 2 weeks ago without warning

professionals will assume shes very childish bc of how chipper she is, but she is beyond mature for her age and only feels comfortable enough to have serious conversations if a person has proved themself able to handle it

collects every little thing. her room is a mess and she has to get rid of most of it every time she moves :(

hates cleaning! smells bad, feels bad hhhhhgggg

dont let mitsuru-senpai see her bedroom

gets lost in the middle of conversations with others bc shes thinking about a story connected to one(1) word that was said earlier

 no sense of time and place, she just sees her friends and goes “ah, this is the right place, then” but junpei and akihiko are also lost so now theyre all screwed

Minato/Makoto/Sakuya

no talkies, no walkies

his story in the movies is him literally learning how to function around people he cares for

doesnt get jokes, expressions, body language, empathy, subtlety, metaphors, physical contact, or eye contact. aigis is probably the only person he truly understands right away

he is still nice to people because he doesnt see a reason not to be, but also he has very limited energy so only his senpai and old people get his most polite-kindnesses

cannot describe feelings for the life of him. the team wont know hes injured or sick until hes passed out

everything is too loud, time to drown it out with my loud ass music

rocking and chewing stims, ryoji is the first person to point him out for these subtle stims (not accusingly of course, just general pure curiosity and love for the uniqueness of humanity)

likes to cover his face with whatever is available, lives like a bat in a dark dry cave

will wear anything that has pockets and his blue/gray/black palette

sleepy at all times bc he never has much energy

when he was younger he probably needed a lot of support, especially after his parents died, because he wouldnt communicate like a neurotypical and would shutdown for hours in the middle of school without warning. probably missed a lot of lessons and field trips out of pure overstimulation

eating at all times. no preference, just whatevers closest

his meltdowns probalby include humming whining noises and curling up in a ball, which makes people want to touch him, but that is the LAST thing he wants. put a blanket on him! play some music! do not talk and do not expect him to speak

aigis is the only person who can touch him normally bc her hands are cold and he likes cold

never nude, feels mmmmmmmmm without clothes and probalby wears a full robe in the hotsprings

will not do things that take more than one step w/o someone else walking him thru it, which Same

[blackgirlblues]

Being A Black Girl: And Chasing Your Dreams.. Yikes.

Hi, 

It’s me, your resident black girl back with some new shit to rant about. I’ve been posting a few screenshots of short poems and paragraphs I’ve been writing on my phone as a way to heal and get over Capricorn boy from my last post on here and I see you guys like and reblog. Thank you for showing love, although it makes me sad that so many of you seem to be going through the same range of emotions I am. I’m sorry. 

I know it’s a lonely place to be in. 

But, on the bright side, I’ve got a lot of new followers joining the diary/manual/rant page that is blackgirlology and it’s nice cause I think it’s becoming a little bit of a community. So, in a way, were never really going through any of these emotions alone. If you’ve found this page-you’re part of a community. Bask in it. 

Anyways, that aside, a lot has happened since I last spoke to you. I don’t know if any of you may remember, and for some new people this will be a surprise. But I’m actually a singer songwriter from Ireland. Moved to London a year and a half ago to pursue my music dream and that’s how I met Capricorn boy whos been the source of all my poems. 

Throughout this time in between, I’ve been trying to chase my dreams, and chase them relentlessly. and this summer i did just that, let me tell you, what im about to tell you guys, is to put it simply, wild. I’ll just cut to the chase. 

It all started in July. I’d been in London for quite a long time now, over a year and now have a manager who’s my best friend first and foremost. We’ll call her Maya. I met her in my first week of moving to London in the student halls I was staying at and we became best friends pretty quick. She studies music business, so it made sense and she just naturally ended up taking up the role as my music manager. Shes seen everything. The songs I wrote about Capricorn boy, the tears, everything. And she saw everything this summer. 

I saw an ad for a record label opportunity in London. It was advertised on my university facebook page; a new indie label, looking for demo submissions for a competition they were setting up to find their new signee. I sent a screenshot to Maya who agreed I should send my stuff in. I did, they liked it, I got a meeting, we were sent terms and conditions for the competition. We signed it, the rest was supposed to be history. 

Big yikes. 

There’s so many layers to this story that I will be shortening it, just because it can get very draining for me to talk about or even write about. I’ve healed from it i think, but I still want to put it here and write it about to finally close that chapter and be done with my feelings about what happened to me and my music. 

Basically, the whole competition, the record label, the dickhead CEO, it was all a scam. I had accidentally signed away the master rights to my new song to a record label started by a fake CEO who was committing fraud and known for tricking young artists into handing over their master rights so he could profit off of them, for power. 

It was a mess. Another contestant told me and Maya when we were outside of their office. Just minutes before we were under the impression that I was doing an interview for Billboard Magazine. Honestly, I never truly believed it. Shit was too good to be true. 

But she told us everything. How he was actually a run away from Spain, where he was caught and exposed for doing the exact same thing to artists there, how he didn’t have any money to fund the competition he had somehow roped all of us into, how he was illegally avoiding paying his team, how none of the creatives we had collaborated with for photoshoots etc were paid, how everything was a lie, how he didnt have any connections, and how he was trying to convince me specifically to sign a 360 deal with his label. 

Which, guys, I’m not stupid. After the first week of being with the label for the competition and letting my song live through their disastrous marketing campaign, Maya and I long decided that regardless of what they said, I would not under any circumstances be signing anything with any entity of their company. 

After being told the truth, I had to sit down. You see, when I came across this opportunity, I thought this was finally the life I’d been manifesting coming true. I had begun to grow in my spirituality and start journaling, writing down my manifestations, and getting to work with a record label who would later offer me a fair contract before I turn 20 was one of the manifestations I had written down every night before I went to bed. However, what I’d gotten was the exact opposite. 

I remember, me, Maya, and 2 of the girls from the competition all stood around in a circle outside of their new office that the CEO also hadnt paid for wondering what our next move would be with this new information. There was still 2 other contestants inside who had no idea what was really going on was an elaborate scam. One of them wanted to go in and expose them on the spot. I said no, we had to go in and pretend like everything was normal until we figured out what to do afterwards. 

So in I went, plastering the fakest smile on my face and pretended like I still thought I was about to be speaking with Billboard Magazine. Once I got out, I broke down in Maya’s arms. 

I went home to my flatmates, Ellie and Bea and cried for hours before I had to go work a 7 hour shift at a pizza place. 

I stayed in bed, and cried, and cried. and cried again. I didn’t get out of bed unless I needed too. The only people I talked too were my flatmates E and B and Maya. 

Everything was sorted out eventually, a lot more happened, but as I’ve been writing this article for you guys, I realised that all of that stuff is no longer relevant to my journey and isnt something I want to bring back into my energetic circle because I’ve made peace with the fact that a lot of people who betrayed me when I was at my lowest, peace with the fact that these contestants who wanted to “work together” to get out of this mess, actually wanted to save their own asses and leave me in the cold. 

But I still got out of it and I’m still here. 

I nearly got sued by a man with less than 20 pound to his company account online, but hey, I’m here.

I guess why I’m telling you guys this really short account of my summer is to both record it for myself but also to say its okay to flop, its okay to fail. I did both this summer. and thank god i did. it was the best thing that ever happened to me. 

following your dreams is scary, doing it as a black girl is terrifying because society has already kind of set you up to fail. there’s already misconceptions about what you do, who you are, where you come from and how good you’re going to be at what you do. its almost like we cant fail and we need to work 10 times harder to obtain half of what the average white person will get. and sometimes it can feel like we dont have any space to fail or make mistakes because of this but let me tell you thats not true. 

if anything, the universe will put you in places that will force you to grow through the mistakes you make. and thats exactly what happened to me this summer. 

i chased my dream so relentlessly i ended up in an environment i thought i manifested, i thought was good for me, only for the universe to show me that that specific environment i’d been wishing to be in is the furthest from what i need right now in my life. 

this so called failure showed me that not everybody who smiles can be trusted, and that people can be way more deceiving than i ever thought, especially when push comes to shove and they need to save themselves. you start to see the real them when it starts to get tense. the people who seem to be around you when you’re doing good will most likely dissapear when things start to go south, including some of your oldest friends. you will get radio silence on their end. be upset. cry. but after that be glad that this situation revealed their true colours. 

and then never put any more energy into them again. 

this failure showed me how fucking strong i am. how resilient and kind i am even in the face of disrespect and actual evil. it showed me how much i can care for someone who i believe is at a risk of losing it all, and showed me that this will not always be reciprocated. and for a while i thought that meant that i had to harden myself up and grow a shell. but i dont think so. i will not allow the things ive been through to make me into a hard person when i was born soft. i mean now, im a little rough around the edges, jagged enough to cut anyone who comes too close with some of that bad energy, but soft enough to hold myself tight and glue myself back together when i need to. soft enough to hold the people who held me this summer. soft enough to help people who i know deserve it. 

im a good person in a shitty world, i don’t need to match the world and become a shitty person to survive. 

after all of this happened, i stopped writing music. 

i haven’t written anything properly or produced anything in months and sometimes i get worried that ive completely lost my talent. but thats another thing that this failure taught me, i can never truly lose whats meant to be mine. i know that i was put on this earth to create change, to inspire, to be an activist and a voice for people who dont have one. i know i was put here to do it through a creative medium and right now i still think that is music. 

i think i just need to stop being so scared to start again, to learn my craft again.

i used to be so scared of failure but now i am so thankful for it and the lessons its taught me. i had so much hurt and pain and hatred in my heart for the universe for, in my head, doing this to me. but then i realised that the universe never does anything to you, it does it for you. all of this happened in my best interest and while i definitely didnt understand at the time, i get it now.

thank you universe for the worst summer of my life. 

and my black ass will be continuing to chase my dreams relentlessly, failing, tripping and falling on my ass until i get to the very top. 

besides, if everything had just gone right, that wouldnt have been very interesting, would it?

[anastasiaskarsgard]

TO THE ANON THAT ASKED FOR A SMUTTY CHEATER BILL STORY HERE YA GO. I INITIALLY DELETED THE REQUEST BECAUSE I DONT CONDONE CHEATING BUT THEN I THOUGHT, ITS FAN FICTION. NO ONE TAKES IT SERIOUSLY AND IVE GOTTEN A FEW REQUESTS FOR THIS SO HERE YA GO.

Here’s part 1: https://anastasiaskarsgard.tumblr.com/post/188138288236/this-is-a-really-involved-request-so-im-breaking

And here is PART 2

Warning!!! Smut 18+ mature content.

As we pulled into the parking lot, everything hit me at once. I had literally witnessed my dog get murdered, the man I thought was perfect was Satan himself, I have no belongings, I don’t know anyone but Randi here. But then I remembered all the good like I was free, I’m not dead, I have the best friend in the whole world, I already found a job and got paid a lot for basically getting to be near the hottest guy ever and there’s photographic evidence, and literally the world is my oyster. I even get to go to Canada! Hayden Christensen lives there! I look over at Randi and can’t help but laugh when I see her sassy face. She is not a fan of feeling sorry for yourself. “Sorry, I’ll stop. They’re happy tears! I swear! I’m so happy I have you, and we’re going on this adventure. I’m just grateful.”

“Wow. Don’t cry Bitch. You’ll fuck up your make up.” my best friend joked.

I chuckled, and gave her a hug, then stood straight out of the car and let her lead the way to see if everyone had gotten a table together in Mortons.

We found everyone taking their seats. I took the closest open seat next to the photographer and Randi sat between Andy and Bill across from us. I didn’t want to look at Bill and have Randi give me shit, so I read the entire menu like 3 times to avoid looking up. We all ordered, and then Andy had the idea for everyone to introduce themselves:

“Ok since everyone is from all over the place, let’s do a fun little ice breaker. I’ll start. My name is Andy, I’m from the beautiful country of Argentina and I’m a Director as I’m sure you all know, let’s be more original, I know! Name your fear! I’m afraid of drowning.”

“My name is Randi, I’m from Kalamazoo Michigan, I’m an artist and I’m afraid of flying.”

“Ok hi everybody! I’m Bill, I’m from Stockholm Sweden, I’m a human and I’m afraid of being alone.”

I giggled like an idiot, froze and looked over at Randi, who was smiling at me, shaking her head. Dammit.

“My name is Barbara and I’m Andy’s sister, and I am afraid of creepy crawly things.”

“I’m Maria from Brazil, I am photographer and I fear bad lighting and flaky models. Thank goodness for Liv appearing like magic and save the day.” She smiled at me warmly and squeezed my hand.

I felt everyone’s eyes on me, and could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I couldn't bear to look at Bill or Randi, so I stared down in my lap and could feel my face heating up. “I’m Liv from Las Vegas, I guess I’m a model for now and I’m afraid of being a failure, velociraptors, roller coasters, centipedes and public speaking.” I chuckled uncomfortably. I ramble when I’m nervous.

“I’m afraid of velociraptors as well,” Bill laughed. “Jurassic Park ruined me as a child.”

Everyone laughed heartily at Bill’s expense but I felt appreciative of him making my ridiculous fear seem more credible and drawing attention away from my obvious nervousness. I snuck a peek at him and he winked at me playfully.

I didn't know what to think of this beautiful man. My initial reaction to him had been negative. He seemed like every other snobby Hollywood type, complete with crazy girl problems, but as the day progressed, he surprised me over and over with how genuine he seemed to be.

As lunch went on, Randi and Maria were talking technical terms, so Bill and I looked at each other and just smiled and shrugged our shoulders. It wasn't like we were being ignored, just everyone except us was wrapped up in their own conversations. I was content with that too, but then an ice cube flew into my cleavage.

My eyes shot open and I observed a very amused Bill trying to contain his laughter but not doing a very good job.

”I promise I’m not an asshole. I have just been trying to get your attention since we got here. So how long you been in LA?” He asked me like i was the most interesting thing he’d ever encountered.

”What time is it? Less than 24 hours.”

His eyes went wide and he choked on his drink a bit, then began to laugh at himself . ”wow, and you already booked a major job? Who is your agent? Are you an actress or just gorgeous... I mean a model.”

”you are super smooth Bill. I’m kidding! Don’t pout you’ll get wrinkles.” I had to give him some shit. “I don’t have an agent because I don’t have any interest in fame at all.”

He looked impressed by that for some reason. ”so what brought you here?”

”Randi is my best friend, and I needed a change of scenery.” I said making sure to avoid eye contact. I knew I was just being paranoid, but I felt like he could look into my soul, with the intensity he was looking at me with. I’m a terrible liar, so I’m convinced if I look at him, he’ll see I’m not being honest. I didn't want to mention the literal hell id escaped to be here.

I could still feel his gaze on me, and I caught Andy looking between us with an unreadable expression. He's a director so he probably can read people really well.

Shit. I’m probably just being my normal neurotic psycho self. No one probably gives two shits about me, and this is all in my head. These people are famous and successful. I’m just another one of the millions of girls that they encounter in LA.

Maria tapped my shoulder. “Hi honey, can you switch seats with your friend? I want to show some my work?”

I smiled and agreed, but the butterflies in my stomach were going crazy as I took my seat by Bill. He was texting so I got my phone out to play a game or two. Suddenly I felt Bill’s leg press up against mine. I looked over at him, but he just continued with his phone, but was clearly smirking. Just then The food arrived and I was famished, so all other thoughts were abandoned.

“Wow! You eat real food!” Andy exclaimed.

“Oh it’s not fair! Liv has always eaten whatever she wants and doesn’t gain a pound.” Randi whined.

I blushed feeling all the attention on myself again. I wanted to fade into my surroundings like a chameleon. “I like to eat.”

I looked at Bill and he was off his phone but I could tell he was watching me as he ate.

“What?” I asked finally, when he didn’t stop looking at me.

“You’re very interesting.” He said.

“How?” I scoffed.

“Well for starters you’re drop dead gorgeous but you don’t like being the center of attention. Am I right?”

“I wouldn’t go with drop dead gorgeous, maybe conventionally attractive. There’s not really anything wrong with me, but there’s nothing to write home to your mother about either.”

He chuckled. “See? There you go again. You’re humble and funny too.”

I could feel my face burning so I excused myself to go use the restroom, but Bill said he’d show me where it was since he needed to smoke and make some calls.

I was fully aware where it was, but agreed and figured I’d let him show me. He turned before we reached the bathroom and he opened a door that appeared to almost blend in to the wall, revealing a very plush, luxurious bathroom with a large vanity.

“Oh my gosh is this like the Secret VIP potty?” I asked. I had always heard about secret lounges and VIP cool stuff so I was ecstatic to actually see one. I probably seemed like such a dork but I didn’t care.

“Something like that.” He said following me inside and locking the door behind him. I turned around to tell him there only appeared to be one toilet, when he took a couple steps and closed the distance between us and kissed me, pinning me against the wall.

He pulled back and looked down into my eyes, “I’ve wanted to do this since I saw you.” He said deepening the kiss again.

I stepped aside to move out from under him and caught my breath. “Your girlfriend though!”

“It’s over with her. It’s been stale a long time” He said as he wrapped his arm around my waist. “Don’t worry, I'm sick of her. I much rather have you. Do you have a boyfriend?” He pulled me against him again and my God the man was so good looking.

“Nope. I’d have kicked you if I did, I’m not a cheater.” I couldn’t believe his lips were on me. I tried to think and get ahold of myself and be rational, but as he kissed down my neck and groped my breasts, it was getting hard to remember why this wasn’t the best idea ever.

“. Listen, you’re very attractive Bill. Like best looking guy I’ve ever seen attractive, and I’m flattered, but we should get back. They’re gonna wonder.”

“This dress is killing me though, and youre so so beautiful.” He groaned lustilly, as he slowly slid my dress’ strap down, continuing his way down, kissing down my throat to my chest. He exposes my breast and looks up to make sure I wasn’t going to object, but when I just bit my lip, he placed his mouth on my nipple, suckling at my breast. He releases it with a popping sound, and slips a hand under my skirt, rubbing me through my panties, as he sucksin a breath through his teeth, before going for my other breast. This motherfucker is gonna kill me. How can one man be so hot and what did I do in a past life to deserve this shit? Seriously universe? How do I carry on knowing his tongue was on my nipple?

He hiked my skirt up to brush his fingertips across my folds. He bit my bottom lip and then pulled his hand out from under my skirt, and sensually tasted his fingers before leading me to the large round cushioned ottoman at the vanity, trying to get me to sit.

“What are you up to? You’re - this is so bad.” I tell him as he pushes me down lightly as he kisses me passionatly.

He looked deep in my eyes. “Please let me taste you and make you feel good. I don’t expect anything from you and I don’t do this type of thing ever, but I’ve honestly never wanted to see what someone tastes like more in my life.”

FUCK. Who in the hell could say no to that?

All I could do is nod, too shocked to fully comprehend that this was really happening.

He got on his knees in front of me and I couldn’t help but admire his gorgeous features. As crazy as it sounds, he had the most beautiful bone structure; severe and angular, yet it was offset by his big green eyes with their long sweeping lashes, luscious plump full lips, and adorable perfect little child-like nose. His hair was silky and thick and he smelled like mint and soap.

I watched as he pulled my underwear off and placed them in his pocket, before leaning me back with one hand, as the other lifted my dress. He bit my inner thigh gently, but still sent a thrill up my spine causing me to visibly shudder.

“I haven’t even started yet,” he smirked up at me cockily, before pressing his mouth to my sex before I had time to reply. I’d had my pussy eaten before, but nothing like this. There was no sign of nervousness or insecurity that some men display when they go down there. Like you can tell they’re not sure what the fuck to do, but Bill was sure of himself and seemed to genuinely love doing it. He was so enthusiastic and it felt so amazing. I never had done something like this in my life, and wouldn’t even kiss on a first date, yet here I am. I was scandalized and aroused, and so close to an orgasm it was shocking.

“You gonna cum for me baby?. I love how you look right now.... Cum on my face.... please?” He pleaded and pushed another finger inside of me. I couldn’t look at him. It was all too much.

I let out a moan as he moved his fingers and tongue in such a combined effort, that I reached out and gripped his hair, pressing his face against me as my release crashed down on me, violently shaking me, and making everything go white, as it wound down. It was seriously one of the most intense orgasms I’ve ever had, and it took me longer than a polite amount of time to realize I was still holding his face, and immediately released him”I’m so sorry, I didn't realize I- .”

“Sshhh.” He said chuckling and came up and kissed me deeply. “Can you taste yourself on me?”

I nodded shyly, looking away to break eye contact. He was so intense and I wasn’t sure what he would want me to do to return the favor.

He put his finger under my chin and pulled my face back over to look in his eyes. “You’re beautiful.”

I looked back at him, waiting to see what he did next. I was surprised he wasn't taking his pants off, but was too shy to try and take them off myself. I really wanted to though, and that surprised me. I wanted him to fuck me and wasn’t going to think about it, just do it. Like Nike.

He stood up and helped me to my feet, and helped smooth my dress out. He pulled me into another kiss and I could feel how excited he was.

“Let me make you feel nice now.” I mentally scolded myself for saying something so not sexy but just looked up at him with my best doe eyed look.

“You’re so cute. Don’t worry about me, just yet. I don’t want a quickie in a bathroom with you, I want like a bed and many. many. hours. I want to impress you.”

“I’m fucking impressed Bill.”

He chuckled and bit his lip, and you could see the wheels turning. “I really want to fuck you but I also don’t wanna be too long and full disclosure, Andy threatened serious bodily harm not to touch you. Said you’re a heartbreaking man eater.”

“Randi advised me to avoid you because you’re a foreign actor that’s too good looking for his own good. You’re obviously a monster.”

We both got a good laugh out of that.

“What’s your phone number?” He asked taking out his phone.

“I don’t currently have one. I need to get one. I lost mine yesterday.”

He looked at me incredulously. “If you don’t want to give me your number it’s ok.”

“No. Take Randi’s number, that’s the phone I was using earlier anyways, that way you can call, cuz I don’t have a pen or anything.”

“How about your email, and then you can send me your number when you get it. Randi might catch on if I call her phone.”

“You’re so smart! You’ll see me in a week on your new movie too.”

“Really? That’s the best news I got all day but if you think I’m waiting a week to be inside you, you’re insane. Now go, just say I went to smoke and make calls if they ask where I am. I’ll give it a couple minutes.”

I gave him my email and walked out the door to go try and act like the hottest fucking thing to ever happen in my life, didn’t just go down. When I turned the corner, I nearly threw up and cane to a screeching halt. I met eyes with the estranged exgirlfriend. I didn’t wanna seem weird so I smiled and sat down to finish my meal, since turning around and running the other direction might bad. I mean as far as I was concerned he was single, so I had no reason to feel guilty of anything. And I didn’t plan on admitting that happened to anyone, so not telling her was totally fine. She tapped on my arm and I cautiously turned to her.

“Did you see Bill by chance?” She asked politely.

“He said he was smoking and making some important calls when he left the table earlier.”

She laughed a little and rolled her eyes, “that man and his cigarettes! I blame Hemlock Grove for turning him into a chainsmoker. He’s probably smoked two or three in a row.”

“All this talk about smoking makes me want one, I’ll go find him. Excuse me ladies.” Andy said, as he quickly walked towards the exit to find Bill.

“He’s probably going to warn Bill that I’m here. We got in a fight earlier and he can be such a brat. Watch when he comes back, he’ll pretend like nothing happened.”

Maybe she didn’t realize he really was done with her. She had a funny accent so I assumed she’s Swedish too. He was probably her only friend out here so I couldn’t help but pity her.

“Between silent treatments and smoking, Bill would be dead by morning.” Randi said with a mischievous wink.

“Oh if you could see his hissy fits, they’re the worst!” She enthused. “Anything in his hands he’ll throw and if it’s something like a sandwich or drinks and won’t hurt you, he’ll throw it on you. But then if I try and ignore him, he’ll lay on me like a big dead weight until I speak.” His girlfriend said, laughing hysterically. Everyone joined in telling stories of past boyfriends that were grown men, having varying degrees of tantrums, but I just sat silently. My ex story wasn’t funny.

Andy and Bill came back and I could feel an anxiety attack creeping up on me.

I looked up and Bill was staring at me and I looked to Randi and she had a puzzled look on her face. In an effort to not give anything away to her, my eyes shot back up to Bill.

Bill looked furious. He seethed animosity and I just looked down at my plate to avoid that glare. I wasn't sure if I was the cause or she was, but I desperately wanted to run out of the place screaming and looked at Randi again pleading with my eyes to go. She seemed to catch on and I tried to keep it together.

His ex got up and rushed over to him. Just as I looked up, she planted a soft kiss on his cheek. My eyes narrowed involuntarily as he glanced over at me, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. His girlfriend grabbed his face and kissed him right on the lips.

I felt like I was going to throw up. Tears threatened to spill but I held them back as I stared at my lap. I kept seeing Bill’s eyes as he looked up at me from between my legs. Flashes of him pinning me to the wall, or oh my fucking god! My underwear are in his pocket!

My pussy is on his face too and he just kissed her.

He seemed so genuine, but he was an actor, what did I expect. Faking Feelings and emotions was how he paid the bills. I couldn’t believe how stupid and guillable I was! He probably got off on this shit. Poor woman. I was exaggerating when I’d said he was a monster but goddammit I was right!!!

”Ok thank you for inviting us and I can't wait to see whoever is going to join us in Toronto, but Liv and I must be off for an important appointment and then packing.” Randi said her goodbyes as I walked around the table and stood beside her, keeping my back to Bill.

”Bye everybody. I had fun” I said Sweetly and then I turned on my heel and walked past Bill without a glance.

”See you two in Toronto.” Bill called after us, and even though I refused to look at him, I could feel his eyes burning into my back as we walked away.

[mytholora]

do you hear my heart beating

Fandom: Mamamoo

Rated: T

Pairings: Moonsun

Characters: Solar, Moonbyul, Wheein, Hwasa

Summary: Yongsun knows she’s an idiot but she’d thought herself to be an idiot with good ideas.

Yongsun knows she’s an idiot but she’d thought herself to be an idiot with good ideas.

They’re in a seedy club at some inhumane hour of the morning. Byulyi has somehow managed to convince her to go even though she’s got a paper due tomorrow and hasn’t washed her hair in 3 days.

“ISN’T THIS AMAZING?” Byulyi yells over the crowd of people wildly bumping their bodies into each other and the blaring music. It’s humid. Yongsun’s sure she’s stepped on something gross. At least 2 people have tried grinding on her, she doesn’t know. What she does know is that Byulyi’s holding her hand tight and she’s about to spontaneously combust.

“It’s really loud in here!”

“WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY?” Byul makes a pained face at her, stretching back to hear her better.

“WHAT Oh—never mind.” Yongsun sighs, realising that no matter how loud she shouts, Byulyi can’t hear her over the loud music. How is she supposed to flirt with Byulyi if they can’t even hear each other? Another body falls on her and Yongsun is this close to biting someone’s ear off. She grunts under the weight of a clearly inebriated body and struggles to push him back on his feet. Of course this fucking caveman has to fall on me, of all the people in this hellcave.

Suddenly, Byulyi appears in front of her and pushes the man off her.

“Hey, watch where you’re falling, asshole!” Byulyi snarls, anger flaring in her eyes, arms holding Yongsun closely, tightly, and Yongsun feels her face heat up as she presses herself closer to Byulyi’s frame.

“Thanks, bodyguard,” Yongsun breathes out.

“WHAT?”

“I said thanks!”

“WHAT?”

“Forget it!”

“...WHAT?”

“LET’S JUST GO!”

“I can’t hear you, let’s just go!” Byulyi pulls her arm to signal her to start moving and they start wading through the swamp of people once more. A light bulb flickers to life above Yongsun’s head instantly. They can barely hear themselves in the noise, much less each other. It’s an opportunity falling on her lap and Yongsun’s damned if she won’t take it.

She clears her throat. “Your hands really turn me on.”

Byulyi doesn’t even turn around to look at her, just keeps pushing forward through the crowd. Yongsun bites back laughter and squeezes Byulyi’s hand. She turns around at that, tilting her head in slight confusion, face sporting a grin. Yongsun shakes her head and they continue moving as glee at the prospect of what she can do in her current situation fills her up.

Walking deeper in still, the club gets louder and darker even though Yongsun didn’t think it was possible mere minutes ago.

“Hey, hot ass lady holding my hand,” Yongsun tries. “Could we go get some drinks before hitting the dance floor?” No reaction.

“You sexy beast. Hold me tight. Grab my tiddies and drag me into a kiss.”

Nothing. If Byulyi can hear her, she doesn’t show any indication that she does.

It’s even better than I thought, Yongsun thinks incredulously. She gives a tug to the hand that’s holding hers.

“Can we get a drink first?” She asks in her normal voice, not even trying to compete against the noise. Byulyi frowns and leans closer, lips forming a ‘what’. Yongsun smiles and gestures towards what distinctly looks like a bar and tilts her head back to mimic the act of drinking. Byulyi perks up, nods, and they head off to a new destination.

It’s a little quieter at the bar, the air still shaking with heavy bass, but Yongsun can actually hear her own thoughts now. A familiar beautiful woman with a smouldering gaze is already waiting for them at the bar, an eyebrow raised, and Yongsun fights back a blush when the woman glances between Byulyi and herself as they walk towards her.

“Surprise!” Byulyi yells and almost leaps across the counter to wrap the woman in a hug.

“How did you manage to find me? I barely started working, like, two days ago!” Hyejin laughs, arms going around to return the hug before pulling Yongsun into another smothering one.

“I have my sources!” Byulyi says and Hyejin rolls her eyes.

“Wheein! Of course.”

“Where is she anyway? She owes me 15 bucks!” Hyejin motions to somewhere behind her and not even a moment later, a young dimpled girl appears beside Hyejin and squeals, dragging all four of them into a group huddle.

“HELL YEAH! The gang’s back together for a night of booze and bad decisions!” She jumps around excitedly and Yongsun feels her heart melt at the sight. She glances at Hyejin and Byulyi and she’s sure she’s not the only one. They are all soft for Wheein and her bubbly energy.

“Making bad decisions won’t be a problem with how fucking LOUD this place is! Are the speakers busted or something?” Yongsun winces as the music somehow gets louder than before, a remix of some top 10 EDM song reverberating in her skull.

“We don’t really know why but the other bartenders tell us it’s the DJ! He always plays the music this loud just cuz it ‘sets him in the mood’!” Wheein explains and Byulyi rolls her eyes.

“What an asshole.”

“Right?! Most of the DJs we’ve met here are really nice but he’s the only one that’s a big meanie! Just earlier tonight he…” Wheein launches into a story and Byulyi listens attentively, straining her neck forward to pick up on Wheein’s excited chatter. Hyejin quickly fills up two mugs with some cheap beer for them and is off to respond to a customer calling for her. Byulyi sends a wink her way as thanks before focusing her attention back onto Wheein and her flailing arms.

Yongsun adores that part of Byulyi that is so attentive and pays attention to details. The one that tries her best to be inclusive. The one with so much kindness and care in her heart. It was a quality that attracted so many of her friends to her and helped her to easily make more.

“I love you so much,” Yongsun stares at Byulyi and the words slip out before she can stop it. A spike of anxiety stabs her before realising that it is too loud for anyone to pick up what she’s saying. “That jacket looks great around you but you know what would look better? Me.”

Byulyi doesn't react. She’s still listening attentively to Wheein’s enthusiastic storytelling. It’s a chance she can’t miss.

“You funky lesbian, why the fuck are you so perfect, huh? Wanna fight? Wanna sit on my face? I dare you. I’m so in love with you. I’m not even joking. I would lay my life down for you like a knight for her queen, except like, I don’t wanna die, so maybe not. I’d fight a man for you, though. I’d choke all the men in the world for you. Fuck, you look so good. Marry me.”

Yongsun is on a roll, spitting out cheesy compliments and flirty pick-up lines. She says it to no-one in particular, keeping her eyes on the hyper duo next to her as she nurses her drink in one hand.

That is, until she realises her phone has been incessantly buzzing in her pocket. It’s enough to get her to take it out and look through her notifications.

Hyegi: oi

Hyegi: im on the other side

Hyegi: bitch dont ignore me look here

Hyegi: are u talking to yourself or smth wat the fuck

Hyegi: who you talking to

Hyegi: oh my god

Hyegi: SKJSHDSJFH

Hyegi: omg u hopeless gay

Hyegi: sit on your face???

Hyegi: yong pls

Hyegi: pls do not start fighting here i dont wanna be fired

Hyegi: im begging you pls stop

Hyegi: o fuk that’s so NSFW im gagging

Hyegi: bicth

Hyegi: thicc byulssy???? UVE GONE TOO FAR

Hyegi: HELLO!! LOOK HERE ASSHOLE!!!

Yongsun is absolutely mortified. Her eyes quickly dart to where Hyejin is leaning against the counter a few metres away, smoothly typing away on her phone, as if she didn’t just ruin Yongsun’s entire night in a few texts. Hyejin glances up to look at her and smirks. Yongsun's fight or flight response is fully activated and screaming at her to somehow knock Hyejin unconscious and make her lose all memory of tonight.

Yong: FUCK

Yong: dkjfhsljdfh

Yong: what the fuck

Hyegi: calm down

Yong: im gonna fukcking

Yong: what the FUCK

Hyegi: CHILL i wont tell

Yong: i will die on the spot if you do

Hyegi: please dont

Yong: DIE you hear me

Hyegi: I WONT I SWEAR

Yong: this whole time

Yong: how

Yong: did you bug me with a mic

Hyegi: what?? no i can lip read

Yong: how? since when??? what the fuck

Hyegi: took a course back in college

Yong: why

Hyegi: i wanted to be a spy

Yong: uh

Yong: ok

Yong: anyway pls dont spill

Hyegi: chillax i wont. I got u babe

Yong: thanks ily

Hyegi: ily too

Hyegi: also u are one giant horndog u know that?? fuckin intense!!

Yong: and what about it? she’s hot. im hot. we’re perfect for each other

Hyegi: LMAO right so why u seducing thin air

Yong: im just

Yong: building up my offense u know

Yong: training to fight fire with fire

Hyegi: by talking to the air

Yong: im TRAINING u fool

Yong: im like zuko and she’s azula because im gonna take her down

Yong: except we’re not siblings and i wanna date her

Hyegi: fuck u dont ruin that show for me

Yong: im not supporting incense im just saying they were both hot

Hyegi: incense im its incest u illiterate

Hyegi: ok look if i give u another drink on the house will u PLEASE shut the fuck up

Yong: a nicer one please

Yong: thanks

Yong: also zutara should have been endgame

Hyegi: dont test me because i will throw this drink in ur face

Yongsun laughs and looks up only to see Wheein gone and Byulyi staring at her and smiling. She feels her heart jump out her chest and tries to not let it show. She raises an eyebrow and Byulyi shakes her head and takes another swig of her now finished beer. Hyejin walks up to them with Yongsun’s drink on the house.

“Hey, how come she gets another one?!” Byulyi pouts, shifting closer to Yongsun and her new drink.

“What can I say? I’m a natural charmer!” Yongsun shrugs, a teasing lilt in her voice, which makes Byulyi pout even more. Hyejin rolls her eyes and walks away. Yongsun realises that it’s just her and Byulyi now. She clears her throat uncomfortably, unprepared to face Byulyi one-on-one, despite all the ‘training’ she’s undergone.

“Holy shit, I love this song! For a shitty DJ, he’s got pretty good taste in music!” Byulyi perks up. She gets off her chair and sways to the song now playing through the speakers. Yongsun watches awkwardly as Byulyi dances without a care in front of her.

She thinks she’s disassociating. In another dimension.

Byulyi? Sexy dancing in front of her as she sits and watches? Not even trying to escape? Absolutely unheard of.

She’d already be running for the hills on a normal day.

I’m too fucking gay for this shit. Is this happening? Is this really happening? What the fuck.

Yongsun doesn’t budge an inch on her seat, doesn’t even grab her drink. Her eyes watch Byulyi intensely, expression unchanging as the younger girl dances without a care in the world, unaware of the quickly deteriorating mess that is Yongsun’s sanity. Byulyi’s eyes lock with hers and she feels something important escape her body.

Her phone buzzes again and again and Yongsun forces herself to tear her eyes away from the spectacle that is Byulyi and respond to it.

Hyegi: u lesbian

Hyegi: SHUT UP ur sex eyes are so obvious

Hyegi: U look like u are one blink away from pushing her down!! Fuck

Hyegi: i cant deal with this

Hyegi: remember to use protection xoxo hwasa

Yongsun rolls her eyes. Her phone buzzes again. What now?

---

Wheenie: byul-unnie

Wheeinie: i got him to play the song u wanted

Wheeinie: r u sure dis will work

Wheeinie: make sure u do wat we discussed

Wheeinie: unnie u luk v intense

Wheeinie: ya work those sexy moves

Wheein: sway ur hips more!! bat ur eyes!!

Wheeinie: she looks turned on as fUK keep doing it

Wheeinie: lmao she’s looking here?? move closer

Wheeinie: get more in her face!! blast ur hormones! show her ur willing and ready!!!

Wheeinie: wait

Wheeinie: OH FUCK

from this shitpost of mine

after more than a year here i am...... my measly attempt at comedy..

comments r appreciated and criticism even more so because i get turned on by both

[igottoomuchwriting]

Sincerely, Me (Chapter 2)

Series: Part 1/Previous Chapter/Next Chapter

To Single Scoop: i stg if this mom doesnt chill tf out i will find where she lives and fight her

Connor has no idea how to text people unless he is asking for weed. It took him a while to actually show that he wants to have a conversation over text while he was texting Evan. There was a lot of back and forth between the two over the past month where Evan would ask if he was annoying Connor or telling Connor that he didn’t have to talk to him if he didn’t want to.

Then he figured out that Evan liked when Connor randomly ranted to him, so that’s what he was doing now. He was watching Say Yes to the Dress and texting Evan, who was the only person in his life who knew that he liked TLC shows, specifically Say Yes to the Dress.

To Single Scoop: SHES CRYING NOW AND THE MOM STILL WONT BUDGE

To Single Scoop: thats it

To Single Scoop: im flying to georiga. Ill see you later evan

From Single Scoop: I know you have that ability so please dont

To Single Scoop:  like my parents would let me

From Single Scoop: Find something nice in Georgia that your mom would love to see. I’m sure that will get her going

To Single Scoop:  well which is it hansen

To Single Scoop: should i go punch this lady in the face or no

From Single Scoop: Definite no

It is nice that Connor has someone to talk to when these shows get really stupid and make him want to fight the people. Usually he would say it to himself and just have conversations with himself, but then he eventually stopped because who the hell has conversations with themselves? Sad loners like Connor, that’s who.

Connor watched as the bride stared at herself in the mirror, teary-eyed and listening to her mother try and stop her daughter from buying the dress.

“Listen to your heart,” Randy said. “Do you picture yourself walking down the aisle in this?”

“Yes,” the bride whispered. Connor anxiously watched it all go down. The mother was trying one last argument to get her daughter to not put on the dress.

“Are you saying yes to this dress?” “Yes!” Connor cheered along with the bride and consultants, and flipped off the TV has the mother said that she was upset.

To Single Scoop: oh good the bride won

From Single Scoop: With Randy on her side, how could she not

Connor laughed. Evan knew the show enough that Randy was the end-all for brides. No one could win in an argument with him.

To Single Scoop: true

Connor heard keys turning in the front door. He cursed under his breath.

To Single Scoop: shit

To Single Scoop: my mom is home

To Single Scoop: i have to go to my bed and pretend to get some sleep

To Single Scoop: night

Connor turned off the TV and put the Amazon fire stick back where it’s supposed to be before running upstairs before his mother entered the living room and saw that he wasn’t awake.

Usually he wouldn’t care if she saw him up this late, but he doesn’t want to hear her complain that he isn’t getting any sleep and then get in another fight because he won’t tell her what's wrong. He’ll tell her when he knows that she will actually get him the help that he wants.

He quietly shut his door as he heard his parents talking downstairs. He was quick to get under the covers and plug his phone in, feigning that he has been asleep the whole time.

His mom came in to check on him like she does every night. Connor could tell she was standing at his door for a while, and just as she was going to leave, Connor’s phone went off.

Connor mentally cursed. Of course Evan had to text him back right now.

His mom

“Connor? Are you awake?” she asked. Connor wondered if he should keep pretending, but at this point, he didn’t care anymore.

“Yeah,” he grunted.

“Who texted you?”

“A friend.” For the first time, this was actually the truth.

“What friend has a name of ‘Single Scoop’?” She was looking at his phone? Connor snapped his head up to see her holding his phone, arms crossed.

“It’s a nickname.”

“What does it mean?”

“It’s just a nickname, mom, it doesn’t need a reasoning!”

“What’s going on?” he heard his dad call.

“Oh, great, let’s just bring the whole family in!” Connor snapped.

“Connor, we’re just wondering who you’re texting!”

Larry walked into Connor’s room, obviously tired and confused.

“It’s just a friend! His name is Evan! It’s a surprise that your fucked up son can actually make friends!”

“Connor!” Connor ignored her and threw his blanket over his head. He knew he wouldn’t be able to escape with Larry at the door, so he might as well just pretend they aren’t there.

“Just check his messages, Cynthia,” he heard Larry mumble. That caused Connor to sit back up in his bed in a fit of anger.

“You guys check my fucking messages?!”

“Connor, we only do it because we want to make sure you’re okay.”

“No!” he yelled. “There should be no fucking reason you check my fucking messages!”

“We just need to make sure you aren’t lying to us,” Larry deadpanned.

“That’s a breach of my fucking privacy!”

“You haven’t done anything to show us that we can trust you with privacy.”

“You know what,” Connor snapped. “Fine! Fucking take it!”

“Don’t raise your voice at us!” Larry snapped. Connor said nothing in response, just laid down and blocked them out. They both eventually left, leaving Connor alone with his thoughts.

---

Connor hadn’t calmed down from the night before. His parents had discussed if he should still be allowed to have his car, but after realizing that Zoe had band practice, he was still allowed to drive himself to school.

“Were you really talking to Evan?” Zoe asked when she saw him in the morning. Connor turned and raised an eyebrow.

“When?”

“Last night, when mom and dad went into your room.” Connor turned away. He grabbed the milk that his mom had left on the counter and poured himself a glass.

“Yeah.”

“Really?” He gave her a side glare.

“What, do you not believe me either?” Zoe shrugged. She crossed her arms and leaned against the counter.

“You never made friends before this, so it is hard to believe that someone could really want to talk to you.”

“Wow, tell me how you really feel,” he sarcastically mumbled.

“I’m just saying, from what I know about Evan, he’s way too nice to be talking to you.”

“And you’re way too nice to be related to me, but here we fucking are.” He downed the rest of the milk in his glass and slammed his cup down on the counter. “Now if you excuse me, I have to get to school so I can continue to be judged.”

On the drive to the school, all of Connor’s thoughts were of Evan and why he was friends. After Connor figured out that he liked men instead of women, Evan was one of the first classmates that he decided was attractive, but he never pursued anything. No one would talk to him, and everytime Evan saw him he had a look of terror. After getting to know the boy, he realised he gave everyone the same look.

Even now that they are friends, Connor is not letting himself get his hopes up. He knows that Evan has a crush on his sister, and most likely doesn’t like boys. Even if he did like boys, there was no way he would like Connor more than a friend. It’s a surprise that he even likes him as a friend, as many people like to constantly remind him.

By the time he pulled into the school parking lot, he had successfully put himself into an even worse mood than he was before. He would just sneak off to go smoke, but Evan would be worried if he didn’t show up, and he doesn’t have his phone to text him, so he just had to deal with the day.

Connor realized that was going to be harder than he thought when he stood at his locker. People were walking by him, not even watching to see if they would bump into him, and would even sometimes almost close his locker while he was doing something.

“Hey Connor,” he heard a voice mumble. Connor snapped his head to the side and shot a glare at the kid who decided to bother him.

Which happened to Evan.

“What?” he snapped out of instinct. He immediately regretted it. He saw Evan flinch and take a small step back, as if he was trying to get out of Connor’s range and hide.

“Well you seem like you’re in a bad mood so I wanted to come over and see if you’re okay but you barely know me so I don’t know why you would even want to talk to me about it. I’m sorry I should’ve have even come over, I’ll leave, I’m sorry.” He wasn’t even looking Connor in the eyes as he stuttered out that sentence. Of course that would freak him out. Connor sighed and it his head against the top of his locker, wishing that he could just knock himself out or restart the day.

“No, I didn’t mean to snap at you. You did nothing wrong.” That was the closest he could get to saying sorry. Once he learned that people never really cared if they made him feel bad, he quickly learned to stop caring if he made them feel bad. Though, by being around Evan and having a slight crush on the boy, he realized that was going to have to change if he wanted to keep him in his life.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me,” he heard Evan mumble. Connor spared a glance to the side.

Evan did care. He really, truly cared about why Connor was upset, and that wasn’t something Connor was used to. He knew that in order for them to get closer he would have to let his walls down a little bit, but he was afraid to. One of the few things he was actually afraid of. He’s going to have to get over that.

“My parents took my fucking phone last night because they didn’t believe that I was texting someone other than a fucking drug dealer,” he started out calmly. He didn’t want to look at Evan as he spoke, though he felt the anger coming back very quickly. “ I told them that no goddamn drug dealer would be answering fucking calls at that hour because they were trying to act like normal fucking people but they took my phone anyway!”

He slammed his locker shut and saw Evan jump out of the corner of his eye. He knew that there were kids who were giving him weird looks in the hallway, but he couldn’t find himself to care. He just lied to Evan about what he was talking to his parents about. Why? Who knows. Maybe it’s easier to be a druggie in this school than a kid who actually cares.

“They don’t believe a fucking thing I say and it pisses me off because I was actually telling the truth this time!”

It was silent between the two. Connor wasn’t upset about that. He knew that Evan most likely had no idea how to deal with the extreme emotions that Connor feels, as he can barely handle his own anxiety.

“I’m sorry. That’s–That, um, sucks.”

“Understatement of the fucking century,” Connor grumbled.

He heard the first bell ring, signaling that Connor had five minutes to get to his class. He just couldn’t deal with it today. With his parents, his sister, and his own thoughts, he knew he wouldn’t be able to focus in class anyway. Having an unexcused absence would be better than being sent down to the officer for not paying attention.

Connor turned towards the doors that were placed at the end of the hallway and started making his way to them.

“Wait, where are you going?” he heard Evan call after him.

“Anywhere but fucking here,” Connor called back before pushing open the double doors.

He stomped over to his truck, hands shoved in his pockets and his eyes downcast. He had no idea where he wanted to go, but he knew that he had to go somewhere private so he can smoke weed without getting caught.

---

Connor realized as soon as he got to the closed orchard that he always somehow ended up at that his parents cleaned out his car. Every bit of it.

Which means that they found his weed stash in the and most likely threw it away.

Connor drove to the one place that actually calms him down and brings him peace­–the abandoned orchard.

When Connor was younger and not on drugs, his parents would always take him and Zoe here. They would have picnics, play games, go on hikes, and even camp one time. It was when his parents weren’t fighting with him or each other, and he and Zoe actually loved each other like siblings should. The year the orchard closed was also the year Connor’s depression seemed to peak. That was when he started getting into weed to be happy, fighting with his parents, and trying to do anything to either shorten or end his life.

Nothing has really gotten better, even after the counseling, the rehab, and all the drugs in the world, Connor was still struggling. He started coming back and sneaking into the orchard when it was getting hard again, and it always calmed him down. You would think going back to the place when his family was happy would make him sad, but it actually gave him the ability to forget everything about his life for a short while.

As he walked around, the took the time to look up into the trees, up to the sky that was shining bright. Connor was almost glad he wasn’t high so he could see this all through clear eyes.

A thought popped into his head. He remember Evan talking to him about his apprenticeship with the forest rangers, and how much he loved nature and trees. Has he ever been here?

Quickly looking at his phone, Connor cursed at the time. He started jogging back to his truck so he can pick Evan up from school in time.

---

Luckily Connor didn’t need to go inside to find Evan. Evan had started walking home and Connor had seen the back of his backpack before he turned into the school parking lot. He stepped of the gas and pulled up to the shoulder a little ahead of where Evan was walking. Evan didn’t look up from the ground and instead kept walking.

“Evan!” Connor called out of his passenger window. No response. Connor was tempted to try again, but he knew that the boy couldn’t hear him.

He honked the horn of his truck. Evan’s head snapped up and he looked directly at Connor.

Success.

Evan pulled out his headphones while giving Connor a confused look.

“Connor?” he asked.

“Get in, Hansen,” Connor called. Evan didn’t question or hesitate, just walked through the grass dividing the sidewalk from the street and hopped into Connor’s car. Connor wasn’t sure on whether he should be happy that Evan asked no questions or upset.

Connor pulled back into the street as soon as Evan closed the passenger door, excited to show his friend the orchard.

It was silent for the beginning of the ride. Connor realized that Evan might be worried that Connor is still mad. He’s not, but there was no way for Evan to be able to tell. He also snapped at Evan this morning and Evan may be waiting for an apology.

“I didn’t mean to flip out on you earlier,” he stated. Not quite an apology, but a month ago, Connor would have just moved on without a second glance at a person’ feelings.

“I know,” Evan mumbled. It was silent again after that.

“Have you ever been to the orchard?” Connor asked.

“What orchard?” Connor silently cheered victory in his head.

“So I’ll take that as a no.”

Connor explain what the orchard was to Evan so he wouldn’t be too freaked out that COnnor was bringing him to some abandoned place.

They eventually got onto the topic of bands and singers that they like. Connor was shocked when Evan said that he liked Taylor Swift before she started pop and did not miss an opportunity to make fun of him. Evan retaliated by stating that one of his favorite bands wasn’t popular and they continued to bicker back and forth.

Connor loved it. He never really got to playfully make fun of someone without the other person that he was actually being mean. There had been many times that Connor tried playfully making fun of Zoe, but she always got mad and it would escalate into a fight, so he stopped trying. It was nice to have a friend who knew he wasn’t being mean.

They pulled up to the orchard. Connor parked his car in the parking lot that was placed out front.

“Uh, what are we, uh, doing here?” Evan asked, a slight shake in his voice.

“We’re gonna walk around.”

“W-Wait, what?”

“Come on, Hansen,” Connor pushed. He exited the truck and walked towards the gate, heading towards the cut in the fence he made so that he can go back and forth without being caught.

“We can’t go in!” Connor heard Evan call. Connor rolled his eyes. No Trespassing signs only mean something when the government was actually taking care of it.

“Trust me, it’s fine.”

“What if someone finds us? What if they see your car and come searching and then we get in trouble? What if we get arrested? I can’t have my mom bail me out of jail, and your parents won’t--”

“Evan!” Connor snapped and turned around. “It’s fine. I come here all the time. I was just here earlier, and no one found me. No one even thinks about this place anymore.”

Connor watched Evan nod his head and avert his eyes down to the ground. Connor mentally cursed He couldn’t even get a grip on his anger long enough to show Evan a place that meant a lot to him.

Connor took a deep breath.

“Just… Come on. You can trust me.”

He started walking to the fence, occasionally checking back to make sure that Evan was still following him.

Connor pushed the piece of fence he cut open back and stepped to the side, motioning Evan to go through. Evan ducked his head and climbed through with Connor following right after.

Connor stood up and brushed the dirt off of his pants, and when he looked up, he wasn’t shocked to see Evan holding his cast and looking around in shock.

“This place got closed down after they opened up the park as a national park,” Connor answered his unasked question. “Apparently people feel like going to a national park would be more fun than an orchard, even though it’s the same fucking thing.”

Connor walked past Evan and into the trees. He knew he wanted to show Evan the field that he and his family always hung out at. The grass was close to being overgrown and at this time of day, the trees might be blocking the sun, but it was still Connor’s favorite place.

“So homecoming’s coming up,” Connor stated. “You going?”

“Well, uh, probably not?” Not a big shock.

“Even if a cute girl asked you out?” Connor laughed, though he cringed on the inside. His crush on his friend may mean nothing, but it still hurt just a bit to picture Evan with a girl.

“If someone asked me out, that’d be a shock in itself.” Connor chuckled.

“Fair enough.”

“What about you?” Evan continued. “You going?”

“No.” Connor shook his head. “No way.”

“Not even if a girl asks you?” Connor had to stop himself at that one.

“There’s no girl that could make me go to any dance.” He heard Evan hum.

“What if your crush asked you?” Connor stiffened up.

That was a thought. Connor could imagine Evan anxiously approaching him after school, playing with the bottom of his shirt, asking him to homecoming. Stuttering over the fact that Connor could say no and that he was sorry for ruining their friendship before Connor would pull him into a hug and say yes. He could imagine them going to the dance and ditching in the first thirty minutes, going to Á La Mode instead. He could imagine him taking Evan back home, walking him to his door to wish him good night. Connor could easily lean down—

“There is a girl you like, right?” Evan continued. Connor mentally pushed away that fantasy. He gave Evan a quick side glance and coughed, hoping to hide the blush that was probably making its way up on his face.

“Yeah. A girl…” He trailed off and left it there. Evan seemed to understand that Connor didn’t want to be pushed, so they fell back into silence.

Connor watched all the trees past, looking for the opening he needed. Once it came into view, Connor stopped in his tracks.

“We’re here.” He looked at Evan to see the boy giving him a confused look.

“Wait, where?”

“Look,” he motioned to the gap in the trees. Evan gave him a side glance before walking towards the area where Connor motioned. Connor let him get a head a bit before he started following.

He saw Evan standing a bit farther than he thought he would be, looking around in awe. He stared at the trees, hands grasping the little bit of grass that his hand could reach. Connor watched grass blow around him and sun illuminate his figure just enough where he wasn’t just a shadow.

“I assume you like it?” he called. Evan turned around, and oh god, his eyes were shining. It was the cutest thing he has ever seen.

Connor needed to get this crush under control.

“Connor, this—this is amazing! How did you find it?”

“I was just walking around one day and found it.” He didn’t want Evan to feel bad that this was the last place his family was truly happy, or feel like he was intruding on something he shouldn’t.

He watched as Evan turned back at take everything in again. Connor realized he had a smile on his face.

“You said you like to climb trees, right?” Connor asked. He walked over so he was standing next to Evan, though now that he was closer, he could almost feel Evan stiffen.

“Um, yeah,” he stuttered. Connor didn’t pay any attention to it.

“Come on. There’s a tree with really low branches.” Connor started walking towards the tree. It was easy for Connor to find it as it stuck out from the rest of the trees, obviously there for children or teens who would love to climb more.

“I—I don’t think I can climb right now,” he heard Evan call. Connor turned and gave him a confused look.

“Why not?” Evan held up his cast. Connor stared at the cast in questioning before it clicked. He has an unusable arm that would prevent him from climbing. “Fuck, that’s right. I’m a moron.”

“Sorry,” Evan mumbled.

“Why are you sorry?” There was absolutely no reason for Evan to be sorry. He wished that didn’t get on his nerves as much as it did.

“You wanted to climb the tree, and I can’t.” Connor sighed and shook his head.

“That’s not your fault, man.” Evan nodded his head and wouldn’t look Connor in the eyes. Connor pursed his lips. There was no reason for Evan to be upset and he wished there was a way he could show the boy that.

Suddenly Evan reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Connor watched him as he looked at the screen and cursed.

Connor walked over and looked over Evan’s shoulder to see who it was.

“Kleinman? What does that fucker want?” Connor growled.

“I forgot I was supposed to hang out with him today.” Connor watched as he hit enter and took a few steps away, probably hoping for a private conversation.

“I’m sorry, I was walking home but Connor wanted to hang out—”

Connor didn’t want to listen. That alone was going to make Jared think that Connor had kidnapped Evan, or at least threatened him. He started picking at his nail polish, ignoring the side of the conversation he can hear.

He should really paint his nails again.

“I’m sorry Connor, can we—”

“Yeah, we can go back,” Connor snapped. He was hoping to have a bit more alone time with Evan, but of course, Jared fucking Kleinman had to come in a ruin that.

“Sorry, this was fun, but—”

“I know.” Connor turned and forced a smile on his face, hoping that Evan understood that he wasn’t mad at him. “You and Jared had plans. Nothing wrong with that.”

Connor started walking away, not waiting to see if Evan was following him.

“Thank you for taking me here,” Evan said as soon as they got into Connor’s truck.

“Yeah. We can come back.” Connor turned to look at Evan and saw that he was looking at his lap, a smile on his face. Connor quickly turned back to the road, heart fluttering as he hears many classmates say.

Evan was actually happy to hang out with Connor, and Connor made him smile.

Getting a hold on this crush may be harder than he thought.

[canadiankazz]

The First Time - an L.A. By Night Fanfic

I received a positive response to my inquiry about people being interested in my new L.A. by Night fic, so here we go. Because I got my start on fanfiction dot net back in the day, I’m going to give my warnings thusly:

I obviously don’t lay claim to any of the characters involved. This fanfiction is part one of several, maybe as many as five parts, depending on when I run out of ideas. It is intended for a mature audience, and it is the beginning of what will end up being a pretty heavy multi-part Jasper/Annabelle story. SPOILERS for the end of campaign 1, but not for the one-shots. This is going to go off canon pretty quickly, so consider this an AU. Written before the premiere of Season 2.

Annabelle is going to try to help Jasper with his problems in finding food. He reluctantly accepts her help. They both have a better time than they thought they would.

Very, very special thanks to @cravatfiend, for their encouragement, ideas and enthusiastic reactions to reading the first drafts.You are the weird person into weird things.  I dragged you into this fandom and we are both hopelessly down the rabbit hole now, friendface. ;)

First posted Jan. 11, 2019.

Now can also be found at my Ao3.

The Entire ‘Feeds From’ Master List Can be Found Here

The First Time

When Jasper excused himself early from their coterie meeting, Annabelle was the only one who followed him. Though Victor asked if anything was wrong, Jasper brushed him off. He was fine. He didn't like Victor or Nelli involving themselves in his problems. They both said they understood him, and perhaps they did, but despite their shared experiences, it was only a surface level of understanding. Other than sharing their already mutual coterie spaces, neither of them had done anything else to help him.

Annabelle caught him just before he got to the elevator, just before he disappeared.

“Jasper, are you okay?”

There was something in her tone that made him stop, or maybe it was because she had followed him and she was the only one making an effort. Normally, he did not like being followed. That was his job, not the other way around. Tonight, however, he was feeling more vulnerable than usual. He hated it, but he knew that he had to do something about it. He glanced at her over his shoulder and put on a fake smile.

“Sure, I'm fine.”

Annabelle saw through it instantly. She thought he looked awful, like what he did before his early and frantic departure from the Highland. It wasn't his physical appearance, nothing could be done about that, but it was something in the way he moved, in his tone of voice. There was something very important bothering him. She glared at him critically. “No, you're not,” she said softly.

He sighed.

“When was the last time you ate?” Annabelle asked, zeroing in on the issue.

“I can take care of myself.”

He went to leave, to continue to brush her off, but she was not having it. She closed the distance between them and put her hand on his elbow. His muscles were tense, like a bowstring that's been pulled back. He didn't pull away from her.

“Jasper, I... I know you can take care of yourself, but one of the things that has helped people survive as long as they have is others helping them when they needed it. Please, let me help you.”

His icy, inhuman eyes met her deep, dark, emotional ones. There was a beat where he weighed his options. She was stubborn, one of the most stubborn Kindred he had ever met. She was also still kind, still had the streak of humanity that he had all but lost a long time ago.

“Alright,” he relented. “Come with me. We'll talk.”

Her eyes lit up a little with this forward progress. “Okay, where are we going?”

“We'll go... back to my home,” he said reluctantly. “It's private.” He glanced back to the board room. The others could be listening in.

“Okay,” she nodded. She trusted him, but while they were in the elevator, she sent Victor and Nelli a text to tell them she was with Jasper and they were going to talk. She felt a little guilty about doing so. It made her feel like she was going on a dangerous date and texting someone about it just in case things went south and she needed the cavalry to come in and get her, or someone to tell the cops about the last person she was with if she went missing. She pushed those thoughts out of her mind. Jasper was her friend, and she had no doubt that if he really had wanted to hurt her, he would have done it already. Jasper was invisible now in the elevator, but she knew he would have seen her text.

“I can call an Uber,” she offered. She had a mental image of Jasper sitting perfectly still and invisible in the back seat while she chatted with and distracted the driver.

“No,” came Jasper's disembodied voice in her ear. She suppressed the urge to flinch. “We'll walk. It's not that far.”

She nodded and started walking. She did her best to ignore the shivers Jasper had given her down her spine.

They left campus and headed for the L.A. River. Once they were more or less alone and definitely out of ear shot, Annabelle felt it safe to be able to talk to him out loud, but softly.

“Jasper?”

“Yes?”

His voice was coming from her left. She glanced towards him, swishing her hair out of the way, but of course, she couldn’t see anything.

“You never answered my question. When was the last time you ate?”

“I haven't really... not since Tara.”

Annabelle blinked in surprise and mild alarm. “But that was weeks ago!”

“I know.”

“But, you...” She was suddenly much more afraid. His Beast, his hunger... it must be so bad, but he was only just now starting to show any sign of it. She admired the restraint, the willpower he had been quietly using all this time.

“I ate a stray dog the other night,” he admitted, “I haven't found another solution yet, but I will. Don't worry.”

“You ate a dog?! Of course I'm going to worry, Jasper,” Annabelle snapped. “You're telling me you haven't eaten in weeks! I – argh!” She made a sound of frustration and sighed. Anger wasn't the answer. “This has gone on long enough Jasper.”

“What are you going to do? Kidnap someone for me to feed on?”

“No! God, no! I... why don't you feed on me instead?”

She had said it without really thinking. She stopped walking and got the vague feeling that he had stopped too.

“No,” she heard him say.

“Well... why not?”

“Because... I don't want to hurt you.”

She hated that she couldn't see him. “You won't hurt me.”

“I could though. If I lose control, I could kill you.”

“You won't though, Jasper. You've never done that. You're too strong to do that.”

He was quiet for several moments. She wondered briefly if he had left. She tried to keep her voice steady. “Are you still here?”

“Yeah,” he said very softly. She didn't think he had moved based on where his voice came from.

A thought surfaced in her brain. This wasn't the first time she had thought this, but it was the first time she was going to ask about it out loud.

“Has anyone ever offered themselves to you before? To be fed on, I mean.”

“Let's keep walking.”

She thought she could hear him move, but she wasn't about to let him leave without her. “Jasper-!”

“Come on,” he invited her along. He wanted to walk and talk.

She fell back into step beside him, or so she assumed.

“To answer your question, yes, I have been offered,” Jasper's voice came in hushed tones by her side. “At the Succubus Club, I could have fed and no one would have protested. I've been to other vampire social gatherings and declined to feed there. But that was the others being polite and having to obey social rules. Outside of those circumstances, no. No one has offered themselves to me before. No Kindred, and definitely no mortals.” He chuckled softly. “The little game you were playing on campus before Victor and Nelli and I found you... I can't do that. It's different for me, for Nosferatu in general. We can't...” He sighed quietly, forming his thoughts into words. “We don't tend to get very many opportunities where people are happy for us to feed upon them. Have you ever seen Nelli feed?”

“Yeah. She um... she gets people who want to sit with her and she kisses them and...” Annabelle made a face. It was kind of disgusting.

Jasper chuckled again. “Yeah. I can't feed like that. No one is ever going to want to sit in my lap with champagne.”

Annabelle tried to play it light. “Oh, I don't know... there's a lot of weird people who are into weird things out there.”

“It's nice of you to say so, but none of those people have found me yet. To be honest, I don't know what I'd do if they did.”

Annabelle smiled a little. They walked in silence for a few minutes. They were close to the river now. She found her thoughts circling back around to her biggest anxieties about choice and consent. “So... you've never gotten consent before you fed?”

“No,” he said quietly, reluctantly, truthfully. “I wish I could though. As I said, that's not an option for most of my kind. Being a Nosferatu is like... hard mode vampire. We don't get the luxury of having people want to be in our company, and most of us aren't wealthy enough to pay people to be with us. People see us and scream and run, or scream and attack, unless they have been mind controlled, but in that case, are they still giving their consent?”

She chewed that over in her mind. It had dreadful implications.

They were quiet again until they were almost at Jasper's front door. Victor had paid to get the door replaced so it would be just as secure as it had been before. It was a nice gesture, but it didn't change the fact that the location of Jasper's home was still known to them, and that he wished it wasn't so.

“My offer still stands, by the way,” Annabelle said at the door. “You can feed on me if you want to, just to get you through the night, just until you... can find another option. Please, let me help you, Jasper.”

He become visible suddenly. His hand was on the work hatch-like door and he was pulling it open. He paused and looked at her, and she was relieved to be able to see his face. He seemed deep in thought, considering his options once again. As she watched, she saw him flinch and growl to himself. She knew then that this was his version of talking to his Beast. They all did it, Annabelle knew, some more vocally than others. She waited to see what he would do, what, if anything he would say in reply.

“Okay,” Jasper said at last.

Part of her was surprised, and almost hadn't expected him to say that. “What?”

“Okay. I'll do it, but... there are conditions.” He ran his tongue over his lips. “I want you to be safe.” He glanced around suddenly, up and down the river. They were alone, but he still seemed spooked. “Let's go inside.”

She nodded and followed him. He held the door open for her, and made sure it was shut tight behind them. He led her through the twisting path down to his living area, through the secret passages. He moved with utter confidence. This was his space. She wasn't hesitant, but she had to admit she was a little nervous.

“This is the first time I've had someone in here... who I've invited,” Jasper said as they emerged into his workshop room. Annabelle saw that Tara's cage was in the corner. She swallowed.

“Why is that still there?”

“The cage? It's very difficult to take that apart. I built it to be very... durable.” he smiled to himself and Annabelle could see his fangs. He was remembering something amusing, something she probably wouldn’t find amusing at all. Her nervousness grew, and doubt bloomed inside her. She found herself involuntarily taking a step back. Jasper saw her reaction and frowned. It was his own fears and doubts coming back to the surface. He hoped that saying yes to Annabelle to let her help him wasn't a mistake.

“Are you going to use the cage again?” she asked him softly.

“I hope I won't have to, but...” he shrugged. She took his unsaid meaning. It's still there if he needs it.

He moved past the cage, towards the pivoting door that lead to his living room. He beckoned Annabelle to follow. He correctly assumed that Annabelle would be glad to be out of the cage room.

Annabelle found his living room was more or less as it was when she, Victor, Nelli and Strikes the werewolf had been through. Some of the books on the table had changed, but the furniture was still sparse. Jasper turned on the lamp and gestured to a chair, offering it to her to sit. She did so. It was fairly comfortable, but in an inexpensive way. Far from any kind of plush leather seating that Victor and Nelli couldn’t seem to do without. Annabelle found her gaze drifting back to the closed metal door on the other side of the room that lead ultimately down to the labyrinth. She swallowed, and tried not to shiver thinking of that place. She forced herself to look at his painted landscapes instead. It was beautiful and sad, to think of someone who spent so much time in the dark tunnels under a modern concrete and glass city to want to admire green, rolling hills instead. Maybe that was why he liked to live near the park as well, she thought.

Jasper sat in another chair near her. He seemed suddenly awkward, unused to pleasant company in his personal space. He pulled his hood back, exposing the black veins that crossed his bald scalp and disappeared down the back of his neck. It was his equivalent of letting his hair down, she supposed, now that they were in the comfort of his sanctum. Annabelle caught herself wondering if the whole rest of his body was darkly veined like that... and surprised herself by some small curious bit of her wanting to see his torso without the black hoodie.

“So, um...” she said, trying to break the awkward tension.

“So...” Jasper said at the same time.

They laughed. Tension broke.

“So... feeding?” Annabelle asked. She wasn't so nervous as to want to back out on her offer to help Jasper.

“Right.” Jasper licked his fangs as he collected his thoughts again. Back on track. He leaned forward so that his elbows rested on his knees, his hands clasped in front of him. “Are you're still sure you want to do this?”

“I am,” she said with a nod.

Jasper nodded back. “Okay. So, here's how I want it to go. Just... going to lay out a plan here. I'm only going to take enough from you tonight to keep me going for a little while. I don't think that this should be a reoccurring thing between the two of us.”

Annabelle nodded, agreeing and following along.

“I'm not so hungry yet that I'm about to frenzy like I did before,” Jasper continued, “but I don't want it to get to that point, and I know that you don't either, so that's why I'm agreeing to do this, just this once.”

Annabelle nodded again.

He had been looking at her, but his gaze moved down and away. “I don't think that the others need to know about this.”

“Oh, no. No, I agree.”

He looked at her again, sharply. “Ever.” There was a note of warning in his voice now. “We'll never hear the end of it if they do find out.”

“No, I totally agree. I won't tell anyone. I promise.”

Jasper nodded. “And... if you want... you can count me as owing you a favour afterwards. A boon.” He made air quotes around the word 'boon.'

Annabelle's first instinct was to deny him that. “Oh no, I'm not doing this for-”

“Actually, I insist,” Jasper cut her off. “I owe you one. This is... kind of a big deal. Kindred usually don't take feeding from other Kindred lightly.”

Annabelle nodded. “Okay,” she said softly.

Jasper nodded as well, satisfied. “Take off your jacket, please.”

“Um... okay,” Annabelle stripped off her red leather jacket and lay it over the back of her chair. She was wearing a grey T-shirt underneath with an Anime character printed on it. She was still a little nervous, but now it was a little more excited than fearful. She wondered where this excitement came from.

She could see Jasper considering her body in a way she had never seen him look at her before. His eyes drifted over her neck very, very briefly and settled on her hands. He reached one hand for hers. “May I?” His voice was soft. He was nervous too. He wasn't used to getting permission, or having it given.

“Yes,” Annabelle said, steadying her courage. She offered Jasper her hand. He took it and turned it over to expose her wrist. His fingers were long, pale and cold. He looked into her eyes, one last time, one last chance to back out, but she wasn't going to.

Jasper moved. Without letting go of her wrist and hand, he slid off his chair and down onto one knee on the floor in front of her. He was so tall, his limbs so long, that this was a more comfortable height for him to do this from without her having to move from her chair. It was a submissive gesture she wasn't expecting. He exposed his fangs, his terrifying long, gleaming, dangerous canines and with a tenderness that surprised her, sunk them into her wrist.

She gasped at the sudden pain of it and resisted the instinct to pull her hand back. His grip on her hand wasn't at all strong. He was just using one hand to lightly steady her wrist against his mouth. She could pull away at any time if she wanted to end this early.

She gasped again when the pleasure hit a half a second later. Oh, she wasn't expecting that either, not at all. A kind of ecstasy began to cloud her brain. It reminded her oddly of sexual pleasure, of her first time in bed with Elleanor or Mark, but at the same time not quite the same at all. She had a sudden sensational memory, one she had heavily suppressed until now, of an entirely different set of fangs entering her throat and the smell of well-worn black leather. She could feel her Vitae moving down her arm and into Jasper. Her Beast squirmed in her chest. She could feel something delicious and eager coiling down deep inside her lower belly. If her heart could still beat, it would have been hammering away like a rail road piston going full steam. She wondered if his heart would be doing the same if it could, and decided that yes, yes it would be.

In the haze, she managed to notice a few things about Jasper. His eyes were tightly closed while he fed from her, and his free hand, the one not holding hers to his mouth, was clenched in a tense fist. It was as if he were holding an invisible leash, and whatever was at the other end of that leash was straining against it with all its might. She could feel Jasper's lips, his tongue, his fangs and the rest of his teeth on her, violent and a little disgusting but at the same time, so, so gentle.

She realised suddenly that he was holding back with every ounce of his being. He could bite down harder, she could tell he wanted to, but he was resisting. It was intimate and much more... loving than she imagined. She concluded that none of this was how she pictured it would go. She had a sudden urge to touch him, maybe to caress his head, but her other hand was clinging tightly to the arm of the chair and by the time she wrenched her fingers free, Jasper had let her go. What had seemed to last for ten or fifteen minutes was really only a few seconds.

She felt him run his tongue one last time over the wound he had made to seal it closed and he released her arm. She withdrew it slowly back to her chest, staring at him. She was breathing hard, a left over human reaction to the extreme stimulus she just went through. She felt dizzy and light headed and she was glad they had done this with her sitting down, or she feared she may have swooned like some Victorian lady in a too-tight corset. Her hand trembled, just a little.

Jasper was perfectly motionless for a moment, still on one knee, staring up at her. She could see a faint line of red on his lower lip, which he quickly licked away. He seemed to realise the pose he was in, and lowered his other knee and leaned back so he was still on the ground, but a little further away. He didn't want to be further away from her though. He had been expecting this, and was fighting it back. Both he and his Beast wanted to be closer to her, to be consuming her still. Instead, he was giving her space to recover. He watched her, and waited.

“That was..” she panted. She took another moment to collect herself. “That was good,” she exhaled.  “I didn't know it would... feel like that.”

Jasper gave a tiny, humble shrug. “There's a reason why most vampire victims stop fighting once they're bitten.” He cocked his head a tiny bit to the side, still watching her, unblinking. “Did you never notice?” Annabelle would have found it creepy before, but now she found it oddly... adorable.

“Yeah, but... wow...”

Jasper made a small sound of amusement. He smirked a tiny bit. “You'll be dizzy, maybe weak for a little while. I tried not to take too much, but... you should probably feed tonight also, if you can.”

Annabelle nodded. “How do you feel?”

“I feel better.”

He certainly looked better, Annabelle thought. A lot better. She told him as such.

“You look better.”

“Thank you,” he said with feeling, “for letting me...” He gestured toward her.

“You're welcome.” She felt pleased inside, more than just the fading ecstasy, at having helped him. She remembered suddenly Tara saying she had felt that way too, but fought to push that out of her mind.

She must have frowned, because Jasper suddenly looked a little worried. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just... that was more... it wasn't like what I thought it would be.” Her eyes felt wet and she put a thumb to them to stop any tears before they began.

Jasper moved back onto his chair. “Well,” he said softly, putting a long, pale hand on her knee. He was suddenly more willing to touch her. She wondered if the blood had anything to do with it and knew it likely did.  She also noticed that she did not mind the touch, not in the slightest. “It's over now, Annabelle, and we don't have to ever do this again if you don't want to. Thank you again for tonight though.”

She put a hand on his. It was the one he had been sucking from such a short time ago. She smiled at him. “You're welcome,” she repeated. She hesitated, looking at their hands together. The cloud of pleasure had lifted now, but it left an invisible memory on her body and soul. She realised that she would probably not mind at all if they did this again. “Can I ask a weird question?”

Jasper chuckled. He hadn't pulled back from her touch yet and he was a little surprised at himself at that. He hadn't been quite like this with any of the other Kindred he had fed upon in the past. Maybe actually liking the person made all the difference. “Sure. Ask.”

“What do I taste like?” Annabelle asked shyly. Her nose wrinkled adorably. This was just this side of taboo, she knew, but she was so very curious.

Jasper smiled and she saw his fangs again. They were clean. She felt an odd little ache in her wrist. “Are you worried that you don't taste good?”

“No! No, I'm just... curious?”

“You taste good,” he assured her. He almost didn't want to admit it, but it was the truth.

“Better than a dog?”

He laughed out loud, fangs flashing. “Yes, Annabelle, better than a dog. Animals taste... nowhere near as good as other Kindred do.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he confirmed. “Feeding from you...” he shook his head. He didn't want to elaborate too much on how fucking good her Vitae had tasted, and it had been good. He couldn’t taste any of the terror he had on the others. Terror was delicious, but this was different. He didn't want to scare Annabelle and he was relieved that he hadn't, not really. She had been nervous and excited... in more ways than one.“I could taste your emotions.”

“Oh... you could?” Annabelle squeaked.

He nodded, amused by her reaction.

She put her hand to her mouth, drawing away from him for a moment. “Ah... no, that's cool,” she assured him. “I kind of enjoyed it, so...”

He was very well aware that she did. “Yeah.” He pulled his hand back.

Another little moment of awkwardness set in. “Well... what now?”

“You should probably go home,” Jasper advised. “Feed a little if you want. Don't go using any crazy powers tonight. Please understand, I'm not kicking you out, it's just...” he ran his tongue over his fangs and Annabelle was again finding herself surprised at how oddly aroused that made her feel. She tried to shake it off. It was probably just because the intimate moment they had shared was still so recent. At least, she hoped that was why. “It's just that I think you should have some 'you' time tonight,” Jasper concluded.

Annabelle nodded. “Yeah, okay. That sounds good.” She stood up slowly and yes, she was a little light headed. Jasper rose too, and put a hand on her shoulder to steady her. He held up her red jacket for her to slide her arms into, like a gentleman, and she did.

He walked her back to his front door. She didn't even look at the cage on the way past it this time. She was only watching him. At the threshold, they paused.

“See you tomorrow night?” she asked.

“Yeah. See you tomorrow night. And remember... this is just between us, right?”

“Yeah,” she agreed.

In a stupid rom-com, she realised, this would be a moment for a kiss.

Instead, she pushed the door open. Jasper lingered back in the shadows, but she could see him give her a wave when she looked back. She waved back and made sure the door was closed securely behind her.

She realised she had a text from Victor asking if all was well with her and Jasper. She bit her lower lip in a sudden urge to laugh out loud. She confirmed that she was fine, that Jasper was fine, and they'll see him tomorrow. Then she went home.

[weheart-dianelockhart]

So Little Time: Part Four

I’m back!! Here is part four (if you guys still remember what happened in the other chapters). The others are on my page and I will tag them with “so little time.” ENJOY!

With her stamina slowly returning, Diane began to resume small tasks. This particular morning, she turned her attention to making coffee. Kurt sat at the table facing the bay windows that filled the apartment with light. It was Saturday, a particularly chilly one, in late November. Diane managed to keep warm in one of Kurt’s flannels as she carried the two mugs to the table. She lingered at the doorway watching her husband read the paper. Closing the distance, she set the two mugs down and placed her hands on his shoulders letting her fingers drift up and down his arms. Tilting his head back, he looked up at her tousled hair surrounding her face.

Kissing his forehead, Diane took a seat beside him, propping her legs up onto his lap. Kurt folded the paper and removed his reading glasses.

“Thank you for the coffee.” He sipped and rubbed her feet with his free hand.

“How are you feeling?” He didn’t want to come across too pushy, but he’s been watching her like a hawk for the past two weeks since the accident. The doctors informed him that there was always a risk of infection which had put Kurt’s attention on high alert.

“Sore.” She pulled the paper toward her and put on his glasses, having left hers in the bedroom.

“Did you see they still haven’t found him,” she continued, referring to her attacker.

“I was just reading about it. I wouldn’t be surprise if he fled to Canada.” His hand rubbed up and down her lower leg.

“Well, if they can’t find him, I would rather he be in a different country than still in Chicago.”

Kurt didn’t reply, silently agreeing with her.

The couple drank their coffee, Kurt gazing out the window, and Diane solemnly reading the articles. This vaguely resembled normalcy for the pair. Enjoying their Saturdays at this very table discussing headlines, cases, or telling stories. In most cases, they would end up back in bed or on the couch (if they couldn’t wait long enough to make it to the bedroom) Except this was anything but normal.

“I need to go into the office today.” Her eyes didn’t leave the paper, knowing she would be met with a worried gaze.

“Don’t look at me like that.” She lowered the paper, but continued to read.

“You aren’t even looking at me.” He chuckled.

Flashing her eyes toward him, she squeezed the paper, “See!” She folded the paper and quickly got up from the table.

Turning his neck, he continued to chuckle, “I just don’t think you need to push yourself until—“

Diane clutched the door frame to steady herself. Kurt jumped up and grabbed her arm as she leaned into him.

“—until you stop taking the antibiotics.”

Diane kept silent, giving Kurt a hard side eye and a light elbow in the ribs. Picking up on her annoyance, he attempted to offer a solution.

“Why don’t I drive you?” Her eyes brightened, the dizziness had passed, and she headed for the stairs to get dressed. Pausing, she backtracked and placed a kiss on Kurt’s cheek.

Kurt knew he was not the cause of her annoyance. He was careful not to hover, an instinct he knew would drive her up a wall. Her grumpy demeanor came from wanting to get her life back to normal. She had remained the calm one durning all the mess and by taking things one day at a time, she was able to keep her worry at bay. Her assailant was no where to be found, which meant he could potentially hurt her again. But, what truly kept her up at night was the fear that he might go after Kurt. The man wanted her to suffer, he had said so himself, and she was terrified that he would hurt the one thing she loved most.

—-—

The short drive to the firm didn’t allow much conversation. Diane spent most of it on the phone reassuring a client that she would take care of this and that. At least that is what it sounded like from Kurt’s prospective. Pulling into the parking garage, Diane ended the call and turned to Kurt.

“So, I was thinking that you could come up with me. I’ll only be about 45 minutes and I could use your advice on a certain case.” He nodded simply, eager to be of assistance.

Only later would Diane reveal that she just wanted to keep him in her sight, as silly as it seemed. Plus, she truly did need his expertise.

The pair stepped into the elevator and found themselves alone. Saturdays eliminate the crowds that are usually flocking to the elevator at this hour. She slipped her fingers into his palm. He glanced at her face to rule out another dizzy spell, but her eyes were calm. Almost normal.

Two men in suits entered the elevator on the 13th floor. One carried a briefcase and spoke loudly into a phone while the other gave a friendly nod to Kurt. The man prevented any eye contact with Diane.

With a ding, the elevator opened and Diane stepped into the firm’s lobby. A hush fell over the room as people turned in Diane’s direction, surprised to see that she had returned. Adrian stepped around the corner, briefcase in hand and coat on, as he spoke loudly into his cell phone. As his eyes fell on Diane, he paused.

“I’m gonna have to call you back,” he dropped his briefcase to the floor and raised his arms, “Diane!” He shouted and the room erupted into applause.

Her face flushed. She gave a meek smile as Adrian gave her a tentative hug, careful not to disturb her abdomen. Maia and Marissa came speeding around the corner, both enveloping her in a hug.

“It’s so good to see you.” The two women gushed.

Before she could respond, Adrian intervened, “I will be back in an hour. I am so late for court. The emergency injunction for the Tracy Scott case.” He gave Diane a kiss on the cheek and boarded the elevator.

The fuss subsided and Diane made her way to her office, only to be met with a sea of flowers.

“They haven’t stopped coming,” Maia said as the four of them stood in the doorway gawking at the amount of greenery.

“Well, first thing, we clear out the greenhouse. I just stopped by to pick up a few files and have Kurt look over the Patterson murder.” She slowly maneuvered through the forest as Marissa removed the vases from her desk.

“Kurt, could you give me a hand?” Marissa practically begged as she attempted to carry three large vases. He picked up a few more and followed her into the hallway.

“I heard about the Moseley case. Congratulations.” Diane leaned on the edge of her desk, but after a chill ran through her spine, she moved to sit in her chair.

“Oh, well you pretty much left us with the strategy. We just got lucky with the evidence, that’s all.” Maia brushed off the complement.

“Maia,” Diane took her hand, “You did a good job. Thank you.”

Maia looked down and smiled, “You’re welcome.”

Diane turned to the file cabinets and began digging through them.

“So how are you really? I know I saw you a few days ago, but you seem to be in good spirits.”

Diane turned and sighed. She wasn’t quite sure what she was supposed to be feeling at this point. There was physical pain that was a constant reminder, but she had been focusing all her energy on recuperating.

“I think I’m ok.” Maia squinted in confusion.

“You think?”

“I think Kurt is more rattled than I am. He’s being so careful not to get on my nerves it’s almost comical.” Diane, having found the desired file, sat back down in the chair.

“But how are you?”

Diane dug deep, finding that emotional spot that hurt worse than her wound. She sucked in air through her teeth and looked up at Maia. If she hadn’t spent the past few nights silently crying in fear, she would have broken down right there. But there were no more tears for the moment.

“I’m terrified.”

Finally speaking the words out loud, she felt a small weight lift off her shoulders as she continued.

“I can’t lose him.”

“Kurt?”

Diane nodded slowly.

“What makes you think you’d lose him?” Maia has never seen her godmother this distraught.

“The assailant said he wanted me to suffer like he did. His wife died,” she paused, “They haven’t found him yet and until they do I think I will be a nervous wreck.”

Maia was at a loss for words. She reached for Diane’s hand and she gratefully accepted the gesture. Maia noticed the bruises from the multiple IV lines in her hand.

“But I would never say that to him. I couldn’t.”

Her office door sung open as Marissa and Kurt walked in, both wore solemn expressions.

“What happened?” Diane asked, looking back and forth between the two.

“Oh. Nothing. Why?” Marissa forced a smile.

Diane was the first to break the awkward silence that had followed with a long exhale.

“Well then. Let’s begin with Patterson.”

Kurt and Marissa glanced at each other. They couldn’t tell her just yet.

[heros-amoung-us]

Nightclub AU

PART 4: TROUBLE COMES IN TWOS

All five men looked at the worried Izuku as the two of you exchanged looks. His hair was floppy and stuck to the sides of his sweaty face. He was panting, his chest rising and quickly falling under his black fishnet top. You looked around at the five men sitting beside you. All of them slowly realizing that something was up. 

You nodded at Izuku, letting him know you’d be there in a second, before clearing your throat. The boys all looked over to you with confused expressions. 

“I hope you guys can excuse me for a second! I was having such a wonderful time that I forgot I was still technically working! But you know how it is, duty calls!” You let out an airy laugh, trying to diffuse the confused and worried tension. “I’ll be back soon. Don’t have too much fun without me now, boys~” 

You slowly stood up when Katsuki grabbed onto the back of your arm. You looked back at him and noticed how your arm felt hot under his touch. He was scowling, his features compressed by his knitted eyebrows. His red eyes glowed in the dark booth. He gave you a questioning look, asking with his intoxicating crimson eyes what was going on. You lightly tugged your arm out of his grasp as you smiled back at him, hoping that it would take him off his edge.

“Is everything okay?” Shoto asked, his monotone voice laced with hints of concern. You turned your attention towards him and Kaminari who sat across the booth’s table. 

“Yeah? It seems like somethings up?” Kaminari agreed in unease. 

Kirishima and Tetsutetsu slid out of the booth to allow you to get out. They stood beside Izuku. You weren’t sure if they were actually taller than him or if their hair made them look taller. You gracefully slid out of the booth and stood next to Izuku. 

“Maybe we should come with you?” Kirishima suggested, looking down at you. Tetsutetsu agreed by nodding. 

You waved your hands in the air in defense. “No no no! It’s okay, really! It’s nothing to worry about!” You reassured. Although, you were lying through your teeth. The other staff would only ever interrupt you if something serious was going on.

“I agree with Kirishima, us three will accompany you two.” Shoto said, standing up from his seat. 

Izuku sweat dropped beside you. He wasn’t used to so many men expressing so much concern over you. Or even, strangers willingly trying to get into staff business. He was a little jealous, he wanted to take care of the situation himself, without any outside help (other than Tokoyami of course).

Kirishima pumped his fist in a ‘yeah!’ motion. You slumped your shoulders and pouted. These men were more stubborn than you. And nothing you were saying was getting through to them. The last thing you wanted was to bring customers into club issues.

Suddenly, Katsuki slammed his fist down against the booth's table, the glasses jumping up from the force.

“IF ANYONE’S GOING WITH [Y/N] IT’S GONNA BE ME YOU SHIT HEADS!” Katsuki angrily yelled, abruptly getting out of his seat and stomping over to where you were standing. Shoto was clearly annoyed. 

“G-guys...seriously...please-” You tried to reason with them but you were cut off as Izuku gently grabbed onto your arm and tugged you toward him.

“Come on, we can’t waste any more time-”

Katsuki grabbed onto your other arm and tugged you toward him. He angrily glared at the equally angry Izuku. 

“Guys..” Kaminari said, trying to calm the two men down. 

Katsuki deeply growled as his grip on your arm tightened. Izuku tugged you back towards him, then Katsuki did the same. You had found yourself in the middle of a tug-of-war. 

“Sir! Please let go!” Izuku yelled, tugging you, once again, towards his chest.

Katsuki aggressively tugged you back. “Like I’d hand her over to you ass face!” 

You were becoming increasingly more annoyed and angry with each tug you received. Shoto stood in front of you three, watching the odd act take place. Kirishimia and Tetsutetsu had their hands up in defense as they tried to approach the two angry men, but weren't exactly sure how. Kaminari was looking at you, with a worried expression; maybe he thought you were as delicate as a rag doll and would rip at the seems at any moment. 

Your muscles stiffened in annoyance. You dug your feet into the ground to try and stop the tugging by the two men. 

“GUYS!” You angrily ripped your arms out of both their grips. Both men looking surprised at your outburst and then slightly sheepish at their childishness. You exhaled a deep sigh as you scanned all the men’s faces. “I appreciate the concern and support from you guys, but this is a company matter. It would get complicated if customers got involved.” You tried to reason. Your voice had gone back to its normal softness. 

Izuku nodded, looking over at the five men standing around you. Everyone seemed to understand, even if they didn’t agree. Katsuki glared at Izuku but said nothing.

Izuku placed his hand on your shoulder. It was warm and gentle. You looked up at him. His freckled face held a small smile. He opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted when you both felt a sudden gush of wind sweep past your backs. Your head snapped back and glanced in the bar’s direction. Tokoyami was sprinting towards the bar, where you also spotted Momo, Iida, and Tsuyu. But there was too many people standing between you and the bar. They blocked your view from who they were dealing with at the bar. 

A drop of worry plummeted into your stomach. 

“Ah-ah we should get going...” Izuku said, his voice was suddenly shaky. You hastily nodded as your turned quickly back to your five companions. 

They were all staring over at the bar as well. Their necks craned, trying to see over the crowds. Shoto’s eyes ran themselves back to you. His monotone expression was impossible to read, but you felt a twinge of need in your body. His gaze was warm and seemed to convey his words for him. He wanted to come, and deep down, you began wanting his protection. You wanted all of their protection. But like you said, this was a company issue, and involving customers could get messy. You tore your gaze from the tall, muscular heterochromatic and sent it back to Izuku. Giving him one last nod, he began leading the way through the crowd. 

As you made your way towards the bar, you felt your chest tighten. This time, not in a good way. Like after you watch a scary movie and every shadow in your house becomes a monster. Your (e/c) eyes darted to and fro around the crowds. Instinctively you grabbed for Izuku’s hand. He only glanced back at you in surprise before turning back forward, a small blush adorning his cheeks. He squeezed your dainty hand reassuringly. 

Breaking through the crowd, you approached the bar. Your co workers stood in a semi circle around two bar stools. The previous crowd had diffused from the bar area, not wanting their night to be ruined by watching possible no-gooders get kicked out of the club. Tokoyami stood offensively to the left of the stools. Tsuyu and Iida stood in front of the bar stools, blocking your view once again from whom they were talking to, although you had a pretty good idea who it was. Momo stood behind the bar, her eyes narrowed. 

Iida glanced back at you and Izuku. His stern bespectacled face relaxed in relief upon seeing the green haired man. His tall, muscular stature had scared off many trouble makers before, and Iida was definitely hoping for the same reaction now. His eyes then fell on you. You gave your manager a determined look. But his gaze quickly darted to behind you, or rather, his eyes floated above your head. 

“[Y/n]...who are they?” Iida asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Confused, you turned around only to be met with the five men once again. Kirishima, Tetsutetsu, and Kaminari all smiled down at you. Shoto held a cool gaze as he stared back at your manager. Katsuki had his muscular arms crossed over his broad chest; he glared down at you. 

For Christ sake....

Izuku also turned to see the familiar men standing behind you. 

“We’re sorry, [Y/n] but we just came to see what the problem was.” Tetsutetsu explained; his tone less than pleased about all the questioning. 

“It felt wrong just letting you go...” Kaminari softly spoke. 

“There is no problem here, thank you men! Please go enjoy the shows our girls are putting on! I’ll have a bottle sent to your table, on the hou-”

“We don’t want your damn booze,” Katsuki interrupted, “Nor do we want feel like ignorant customers...”

“We understand that this is a company issue,” Shoto began, “But we simply can’t turn a blind eye in a situation like this. I mean, we all are just concerned for the safety of [Y/n].” 

You felt your cheeks slightly heat up, despite the current circumstance. 

Katsuki grunted and turned his head away from your direction. “Speak for your damn self icey-hot. I didn’t come over to be a stupid body guard. I couldn’t care less what happens to this extra of an employee you got yourself. I’m more of a man that enjoys a fight.” His crimson eyes remained dark as he smirked. 

You narrowed your eyebrows in his direction. You could smell a lie a mile away, and this one stunk. 

“Regardless of your reasons, I must request that you all stay out of the situation, we have it under control. There will be no need for fighting. Thank you.” Iida’s voice was nothing less than authoritative. 

Izuku thinned his lips as he turned on his heels and made his way over to the situation. Iida gave you a stern look, telling you to do the same. You nodded, quickly turning back to your five friends. You gave them a ‘wtf are you thinking?!’ look. They backed off. Katsuki uncrossed his arms and glared at his feet as he aimlessly began to walk around. Kirishima and Testutetsu whispered to each other, while Kaminari and Shoto stared at you with concern. They all stood a couple feet away from the bar, watching casually from a distance what was about to go down. 

You turned around and made your way over to where your co-workers stood. The purple and green party lights scanned across the walls and floor. You saw the familiar peak of short black hair, sitting on a bar stool behind Iida. You placed yourself beside Tsuyu and Tokoyami. 

A tall, toned, black haired male sat at the bar beside a shorter, pig-tailed blond girl. The man wore an all black suit. Probably his only suit, as he seemed to wear it every time he showed up here. The pants were black and tight. He wore the black jacket with nothing underneath but a small gold chain. His neck and under eyes were covered in tattoos. So many tattoos that they seemed to just smudge together into patches of ink. Despite his dark appearance and aura, he had bright blue eyes that seemed to shine under the club’s lights. He sat lazily on the stool, one arm leaned back over the bar while the other was shoved inside his pant pocket. 

The blond girl beside him wore a shorter skirt than you with a schoolgirl-like top. She resembled a high school student, except you knew she was in her early 20s like you. She also oozed crazy. Her cheeks were flushed and she always seemed to wear a crazy smile. She never stopped smiling. She had gotten a procedure done to make some of her teeth sharp like an animal’s. This made her ten times more creepy. Being around her made your skin crawl. You felt like she was ready to stab someone to death at any second, doing so with her insane smile of hers. 

The two of them worked at a bar in the rougher ends of town. One that only criminals and gang bangers went to. You had never stepped foot in their bar before, nor did you have any intentions of doing so, but you imagined it look something close to an underground cult cave. The two of them often came to U.A. to try and make trouble. They wanted to soil U.A.’s name, for whatever reasons they may have. One time they broke in, the blond, named Toga, began smashing the largest bottles of booze she could grab onto. Another time, the dark male, referred to as Dabi, tried to drug the dancers. This time, it seemed they hadn’t done anything yet, but Iida wanted them out before they could do anything at all. 

“I’ll ask you two one, more, time; please leave the club! Or else we’ll have to force you out!” Iida threatened. 

Dabi’s eyes scanned all your faces. “And how would you manage that with only one security guy inside?” his voice was low and malicious. 

“Like all the other times we have kicked you out!” Iida retorted. 

This seemed to amuse the dark haired man as he let out a deep chuckle. His eyes darkened under his hair that hung in his face. “Your waiter is gonna take us out by force again is he? That’s a dumb move.” He sounded disinterested. 

“That was dumb! A dumb move!” The blond repeated, her high pitched voice scrapping itself inside your ears. “I didn’t mind that hunk roughly touching me, though! Izuku baby, I know you missed me!” She cooed. 

Izuku’s face slowly lost all colour. You could tell he was trying to act more confident than he felt. Toga had a huge thing for him, ever since she first saw him here. You couldn’t completely blame her. He had such a sweet face. His features were soft and handsome. And his tight uniform shorts and shirt left little to the imagination of his muscular body.

Dabi’s shiny blue eyes landed on you and you immediately felt a cold, unwanted shiver climb down your spine. His eyes seemed to dig into your very soul. “We just came to...” eyes snaking themselves up and down your body. “...have a little fun, that’s all,” you hugged your sides. He looked back at Iida with a small smirk.”Isn’t that what this place is for? Having a good time?”

Everyone felt increasingly uneasy at his words. Tokoyami took a step forward. He seemed almost invisible in his black security attire. “Please leave the building now! I don’t want to use force!” His voice bellowed from his chest.

Dabi’s smirk widened into a small sly smile. Toga giggled and threw her hands in the air above her head. Everyone flinched. Momo took a step back. Every movement they made put you more on edge.

“Oh?!~ You hear that Dabi?! They don’t wanna use force!” She cooed, insanely laughing. Her eyes widened. She leaped up and sat on the bar. Tsuyu nervously held up her fists. “Well we wanna!” She barked out ‘wanna’ and smiled, showing her sharpened teeth once again.

You flinched at her sharp tone. Dabi’s hand moved around in his pocket. A heavy tension hung in the air. Then, everything happened so fast. You heard Iida yell at Dabi to take his hand out of his pocket. Tokoyami stepped forward to grab onto the two fiends. Dabi pulled out a torch lighter and bottle of drugs. Toga pulled out a butcher knife. The blue flame lit itself in Dabi’s lighter. Iida and Tokoyami lunged at him. Toga pointed the knife towards you and Tsuyu.

“[Y/n]! Tsuyu!” you heard Izuku yell. 

He sprang himself over towards you two and placed a protective arm in front of your chests. Toga’s smile faltered at this. She angrily swiped her knife in the air.

“You bitches are always stealing my man from me! Why can’t you guys back off, huh?” Her voice became gradually higher. “This is so not cute! I was hoping we’d be great friends! But it turns out we’re just love rivals. Now, I’m going to have to cut you both.” She giggled. You wanted to throw up.

Dabi held out the blue flame in front of him, protecting him from the advancing Iida and Tokoyami. Some bystanders uneasily walked away from the scene unfolding near them. As Toga continued to giggle, you noticed the club’s lights reflecting off something hanging around Toga’s skirt. As it came into view, you saw that the reflective objects were needles. Each one already full of some sort of liquid drug. Your heart rate picked up and your eyes began darting from her face, to her knife, to her needles. 

Suddenly, Dabi elbowed Iida in the face, breaking his nose and glasses. Iida cried out and grabbed his face. Tokoyami lunged at him but was met with his flames instead, burning some of his clothes. Izuku moved from his protective post and quickly pounced on the dark haired male. Dabi moved swiftly away from each of Izuku’s advances, heading towards the right side of the club. All the while, Toga snatched two large expensive bottles of grey goose and hoped off the bar. 

“Don’t let her get away with those bottles! Follow her!” Iida yelled, his nose gushed blood.

You watched Tokoyami and Izuku grab onto Dabi’s jacket and pin him to the ground. Dabi looked up at you and smiled. You quickly turned away. 

“She’s running into the dance floor!” Tsuyu yelled from beside you. You looked and caught a glimpse of Toga’s blond hair running into the dense dancing crowd. “Lets split up! I’ll check the left side if you check the right!” You and Tsuyu began running in her direction. You nodded at her plan.

“Be careful! She’s got that knife! And it seemed like she had needles with her, too. Keep a cautious eyes out!” You yelled over the increasingly loud music.

Tsuyu nodded before she ran and disappeared into the crowd. You wasted no time pushing your way through people, trying to dig yourself deeper into the dance floor. You frantically looked around, trying to get another glimpse of her blond hair. She had managed to blend in with the large crowd, seemingly disappearing in the sea of faces and sweaty bodies. You grunted as you pushed your way past more people. The music was becoming louder as you made your way closer to the stage and DJ table. The base of the song pulsed in your chest. The club’s lights dowsed everybody in an array of colours. You pushed yourself passed a group of men grinding on women. A slow panic began rising in your chest as you still couldn’t see Toga.

You were almost to the stage now. Mina was now wearing a white two piece and swinging around a stripping pole. She looked down at you with a worried expression. You knew she knew. Mina subtly pointed over to the right of you, nudging her head in that direction. You swiftly slid yourself between people in the direction she pointed. The music was booming in your ears and you couldn’t hear anything else. You could see people’s mouths moving, maybe singing along with the lyrics or chatting, but no sound came out of them, only the music. 

Suddenly you felt the skin on your back tingle. You wiped around only to see Toga holding her knife out in your direction. She swung it around carelessly, cutting through the thick club air. Her white teeth sparkled as she maliciously smiled at you. The bottles of grey goose were tucked under her free arm. She was giggling. You quickly reached out to grab her wrist, but she retracted her hand too fast. The knife gleamed under the lights. 

“Follow me and I cut you bitch!” She yelled, although you had to read her lips to understand.

Toga darted back into the crowd, almost as fast as she had appeared, and you lost sight of her again. Your heart pounded in your chest. Your legs felt shaky, but you moved nonetheless. 

You followed her direction, which was closer to the stage.You frantically looked around, now pushing people out of the way. The stage stood to your right. It reached up to your hip. Mina and Toru danced hastily on stage. Their eyes scanning the edge and crowd for Toga. You ran along the edge of the stage. Suddenly you saw the blond girl. Her knife placed between her teeth as she unclipped a needle from her hip. She quickly raised the substance towards one of the dancer’s legs. 

The dancer remained unnoticed. 

You felt your feet move before you could even think. You watched in horror as Toga stabbed the dancer in the foot with her needle and inject the substance. The dancer toppled over on the stage.

Raising your hand you slapped the needle out of Toga’s hand. It flew into the crowd and rolled on the floor. Toga looked back at you with gleaming angry eyes. You stood your ground defensively. She let out a loud grunt as she grabbed her knife from between her lips and swung it towards you. You swiftly stepped back, trying to dodge her swipes. You wished Tokoyami or Izuku was around to grab her. You felt totally defenseless, which you were. 

She swung her knife towards your neck. You ducked and kicked at her legs. She let out an annoyed yell and swung the knife down towards you. Your eyes widened as you tried to move out of the way. Her knife caught the side of your shoulder and sliced it. You stumbled standing back up and clutched your shoulder. It stung badly. The pain ran itself down your entire arm and into your finger tips. Toga smiled at your wound. Her knife looked as if the tip had been dipped in blood. Toga lifted it to her face and giggled as she looked at it. 

You cursed under your breath and prayed to god that her blade wasn’t laced with anything. 

Toga was quick to raise her knife again, preparing to cut into you a second time. But her wrist was suddenly stopped when a large muscular hand grabbed onto it. Kaminari held onto the blond. She looked up at his handsome, glaring features with surprise. You blinked in surprise at his sudden appearance. Then, Katsuki appeared seemingly out of no where. He aggressively grabbed her other hand and twisted it behind her back. She let out a shriek. Katsuki and Kaminari forced her face down onto the ground. You were so stunned and relieved at their sudden appearance that you hadn’t noticed the blood from your wound seep through your fingers. You watched Katsuki hold down Toga as she uselessly tried to escape his grip. Kaminari grabbed the two bottles of vodka and held them in his arms. Both male’s faces were ridden with anger and concern. 

Suddenly you felt a body press itself up against your back and an arm grab around at your hips. You jumped in surprise and tried to move away, but the grip on you was too strong. You sent Kaminari (who wasn’t looking) pleading looks. The body was tall and hard. Warm against your back. You felt your cheeks heat up. A hand reached up and grabbed your chin. It tilted your head up to the side. Your eyes instantly met with Shoto’s concerned ones. You felt relief wash over you. You unconsciously leaned yourself deeper into his chest. He held your chin for a few extra moments. His eyes scanning over your face and then to your shoulder. His eyes hardened as he saw blood trickle down your arm. His eyes left your body and went to Kaminari and Katsuki. 

You hadn’t noticed, but you were panting. Your heart rate was still out of control. The adrenaline was still pumping through your veins. Kaminari looked at Shoto, then down at your small body in his arms. Your arm clutching your bleeding shoulder. Panic washed over his face. He quickly walked closer to you. Shoto let go of your chin, but not your waist. Kaminari put the back of his hand on your cheek, giving you a worried look. His pretty boy features softened. Your face flushed even deeper. Shoto’s protective arm pulled you closer to him and you found yourself clutching onto his shirt. 

Tokoyami and Tsuyu broke through the dancing crowd around you and looked down at Katsuki and Toga. Tokoyami knelt down to their level and took Toga’s hands behind her back in his. He began stripper her needles and knife from her. Tsuyu walked over to you and the two boys. She looked down at your bloody hand clutching your shoulder. The stinging in your arm had intensified. You grabbed a fistful of Shoto’s shirt. The pain was slowly becoming all you could focus on. You didn’t know how bad the cut was, but it felt awful. Your face grimaced at the pain. Shoto noticed and immediately wrapped his other arm around you. One of his hands held you between the shoulder blades and the other on the small of your back. He began walking you away from the stage, back towards the bar. Kaminari and Katsuki behind him. Tsuyu stayed back with Tokoyami and Toga. 

As you broke through the edge of the dance floor crowd, the bar was in plain view. You saw Iida and Izuku handing Dabi over to a couple police officers. You also noticed that Dabi was wrapped in some sort of white tape. You brushed the unusual sight off as more pain shot itself down your arm. Kirishima and Tetsutetsu were standing by the right side of the bar with Momo. The three of them noticed you before you did them. Their expressions turned from that of mild worry to full on horrific concern. You spotted them as you and Shoto rounded the bar to where they had been sitting. The two boys stood up from their seats and rushed over to you. You cracked a small smile at them. 

“She’s hurt!” Shoto yelled over at Momo. She hurriedly reached under a bar cabinet to retrieve the first aid kit. 

Kirishima reached out for your face. “W-what happened?!” He asked. Katsuki swatted his hand away. 

“Give her some space!” He barked.

You felt the pain increase ten fold as your adrenaline seemed to suddenly rush out of you. You clutched onto Shoto’s shirt even harder. His arms seemingly holding you up. Kirishima’s eyebrows raised in obvious concern. 

“Sit her down!” Momo ordered from across the bar. 

Shoto did as she said and placed you gently down on a bar stool. He sat himself on one beside you. His arms retracted from your body. You leaned your side against the bar. Kirishima sat on the other side of you. The boys were surrounding you. All peering down at you with concern. Katsuki stood directly in front. He towered over your sitting form. His handsome facial feature were turned in a scowl. 

Momo ran over to your side with bandages in her hand. She slowly took your hand and removed it fro your shoulder. Your fingers were stained with sticky blood. Momo immediately pressed a bandage against your arm, trying to stop the bleeding as much as she could. You stared down at your bloody hand before hiding it behind your back. You didn’t want the boys to see.

Momo patted your shoulder with the bandage. The cut stretched itself over your entire shoulder but wasn’t deep. It would heal quickly. 

Katsuki roughly grabbed the arm you were hiding behind your back. He glared down at your bloody hand and then at you. His crimson eyes dug into your (e/c) ones. The boys also took notice. Kirishima quickly grabbed a wet wipe from the first aid kit sitting on the bar behind you. He passed it to Katsuki, who swiped it out of his hand. He let go of your arm to open the package. You felt Shoto place his hand on your thigh. Your cheek instantly blushed. His touch was hot, but reassuring. 

“You’ll be okay,” Momo cooed from beside you, dressing your bandage.

Katsuki grabbed your hand again and began angrily wiping the blood off. You felt suddenly embarrassed and retracted your hand from his grip. He stared down at you in confused annoyance. 

“I-I can clean myself...” You muttered.

“No you fucking can’t.” Katsuki grabbed your hand again and placed the wipe back into your palm. “...just...let me fucking do this for you...” He said back.

You felt your heart stop. He gently wiped the dried blood off your fingers. His touch was softer than you expected. You stared at his concentrated face. He was focused on your hand and didn’t dare look at you. 

“Annnddddd....done!” you heard Momo say.

You looked over at your shoulder and saw she had finished bandaging it. You gave her a grateful smile, which she returned. 

“[Y/n],” Kaminari softly called. You turned to him. He was standing to the left of Bakugou. “Are you okay? That looked pretty serious back there?”

You slowly nodded in response. “Yeah,” You breathed out. “Thanks to you guys at least. I think I would have been in worse shape if you hadn’t shown up when you did.” You admitted.

Katsuki grunted as he finished wiping your hand, letting go of it. “And you didn’t want us to interfere. It’s a good fucking thing we did.” You nodded and smiled. 

“Yes,” Momo’s voice pulled all your attention towards her. She was behind the bar again. “Thank you so much for helping us out. Even Kirishima and Tetsutetsu stayed behind at helped capture Dabi! And also that other guy....?”

Kirishima nodded. “Oh yeah! Sero showed up just on time too!”

Shoto raised an eyebrow. “Sero was here?”

“Yeah, the guy helped us restrain that Dabi dude. Said he came down here for a bathroom break. But he ran back up to his private room as soon as the deed was done.” Tetsu explained. “Said he still had some unfinished business with the ladies up there.”

“I don’t even want to know,” Kirishima said, shaking his head.

You looked at them in confusion, as you still hadn’t met this Sero. Although, he sounded like quite the freak if he had been spending this whole time in one of the club’s private rooms. 

Iida and Izuku approached your huddled group. Iida placed a hand on Kirishima’s shoulder and Izuku stood on Shoto’s side. 

“[Y/n]?! Are you okay?! What happened to you?!” He questioned stepping closer to you.

Katsuki gently pushed the boy’s chest and sent him a challenging glare. Izuku gave him back a confused and irritated stare. You put your hands up in defense, your shoulder aching the higher your raised them. 

“I’m fine! She just had a knife and I was a little too slow dodging her, that’s all. It’s not a deep cut, it’ll go away soon!” You tried to reassure. 

Katsuki and Izuku’s shoulders slumped as they looked over at you. However, they didn’t hesitate to glare once more at each other. 

“Do those guys do this often? It seemed before that you two already knew what was going on before even reaching the bar?” Kaminari asked.

You felt Shoto’s hand lightly squeeze your thigh. This sent electricity straight to your womanhood. His deep eyes looked thoughtfully in yours. 

“Yes, you knew they were here and yet you still didn’t want our assistance?” He asked. You felt his cool breath on your warm cheeks. 

“It’s true that this is not their first appearance at our club,” Iida explained from behind Kirishima. “They’re from the rougher parts of town and frequently try to cause trouble. They work at a dive bar down there. Although we still don’t know what their motives are for trying to steal and hurt the club’s reputation, we can only imagine it’s to gain popularity on themselves.” He turned and addressed all five men. “If it weren’t for you men stepping in and helping out, the outcomes of their brash actions could have been much more severe. Thank you.”

The men shifted, slightly uncomfortable at the attention. They didn’t do it to gain that, they just did it cause it felt right. All five of them had watched everything unfold at the bar. As soon as Toga had pulled a knife, Katsuki was ready to lung at her. Shoto had stopped him. But it was only effectively until shit hit the fan and you ran after Toga into the large crowd. All five men switched onto protective mode. Katsuki sprinted after you with Shoto and Kaminari hot on his tail. But they were larger than you, and most of the other crowd members. It took them longer to catch up, which is why they didn’t appear until the last possible second. 

Your grateful (e/c) eyes scanned over all the men. For the first time in a long time, you felt safe. You felt like you had someone strong enough and willingly enough to protect you. And not just someone, five strong and handsome men. 

“Thank you,” You softly said, grabbing everyone’s attention. “Thank you so much. I’m sorry I was rude before. I’m beyond grateful you stepped in. You saved me. Thank you!” Your voice was light and airy. You were beyond grateful. “And I’m relieved that none of you got hurt! I don’t know what I’d do if any of you guys got hurt like me...or worse.” 

Everyone’s face became a flustered mess at your kind and grateful words. Shoto removed his hand from you thigh and thoughtfully looked down at it. Katsuki turned is head to the side and shoved his hands down his pant pockets. Kaminari and Kirishima smiled back at you. Tetsu gave you a blushing thumbs up. Something slowly stirred itself inside the bellies of all five men.

“I’d like to propose an idea to you men!” Iida exclaimed, somewhat ruining the moment. The guys turned their attention over to your manager as he eagerly smiled at them. “I’m sure you’ve noticed our lack of security inside this club. Tokoyami is great, but one man can’t do everything.”

Kirishima nodded, thinking back to your incident with that overly drunk man. 

“And you are obviously in great shape. You’re perfect for security. That’s why I’d like to offer you all jobs here, as our new interior security team!” The men looked surprised to say the least. You hoped that they would accept, but something about their silence told you differently. 

“That’s a generous offer, sir. But with all do respect, I don’t think we can accept.” Shoto spoke up. “We are full time students at the business academy.”

Iida’s expression fell. You looked around at them with a somewhat pleading look. None of them made eye contact. 

“Ah! But please! I’ll throw in extra benefits! We are in dire need of security like yourselves.” Iida begged.

Kirishima was the only one to look up at you. His broad shoulders leaned against the bar as he thought to himself. His expression softened upon seeing you. He thought back to the drunken man touching you earlier that night, then your pain-ridden form as you were carried to the bar with a bloody injury. He was cracking under your gaze. Your beautiful eyes and soft features getting the best of him. Every fiber in his body wanted to protect you. 

“You can have as many breaks and drinks as you want!” Iida continued to throw in extra benefits, trying to reel them in.

“I’ll do it.” Kirishima said, surprising his mates. You and Iida gave him a grateful smile.

Iida eagerly took his hand in his and shook it. “Fantastic! Great to have you on board!”

He awkwardly laughed and retracted his strong hand from Iida’s. Kirishima looked back at you, his expression was unsure. You cupped his hand gently between yours. “Thank you Kirishima! I’m so glad we’ll be working together from now on!” You exclaimed.

Tetsutetsu cursed from beside the red head and raised his hand. “I-I’ll join too. If my bro, Kirishima is in, then I’m in too.” He said. 

Iida again, shook Tetsu’s hand eagerly and thanked him a thousand times. 

“Yay! Tetsu too!” You yelled. He sheepishly smiled before staring down at his shoes.

The other men remained silent. You hoped that their friend’s joining would get them to accept Iida’s offer as well, but it didn’t. You sadly looked at the ground. 

The club needed security. Kirishima and Tetsutetsu would be great additions, but you knew you needed more.

“Well, nonetheless, I’m grateful for everything you men have done! Please, Momo, give them whatever they want for the rest of the night! On the house!” Iida exclaimed. “I’ve gotta go check on our dancer that was attacked, but you men think about my offer!” He yelled, already speed walking away towards the dancer’s stage.

You huffed out a sigh and turned towards the bar. Momo was preparing multiple drinks at once. You didn’t feel like you could stomach another drink, but from the night you’ve had, you took one anyways. 

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

[undeadpsycho13]

a cup of coffee to warm my icy heart

AHHHHHH GUYS LOOK IM SO SO SO SORRRRRRYYYYYY I SWEAR I HAD THIS FINISHED LAST FRIDAY I JUST FORGOT IM SORRRRYYYYY

i know this chapter is one week overdue, and i hope u guys can forgive me.  i swear i had it done ages ago, just forgot to post it. also, its more than twice the length of the first chapter, if that makes up for anything.

thank you to @puzzle-of-life-reason-for-death​ for the reminder, this chapter is for you!! :D

btw, some chinese swear words are involved, and the translations are at the bottom. if u dont like them, rlly sorry, i just thought it might be fun, cause you know, both baits and an speak chinese canon, and so do i, so why not?

tell me if u dont like it, i wont include them in the next chapter

otherwise, enjoy~~ ^_~

CHAPTER 2: JUST A TINY PART OF ME (FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU)

The second time was not so much of an accident, but oh well, not-accidents happen all the time, don’t they?

The annoying door ringing speaker thing once again announced Baitsakhan’s appearance at Endgame.  A very pissed Baitsakhan.  A very pissed Baitsakhan who had not had coffee in the last three days and was currently dying of lack of caffeine in his bloodstream.  Red Bull was a poor substitute; he needed freaking coffee.  The darker, the better.  The scene from last week flashed back in his face, and Baitsakhan cringed a little on the inside.  He was not willing to make a fool of himself again.

He had surprised both his sister and An by staying away from coffee for four days, and then couldn’t help but get some coffee from The Starbucks.  At least he had figured out the barista’s name.  Hilal Ibn Isa Al-Salt.  He was awful proud of his memory; who on earth had long-ass names like that?  For once, he was appreciative of his unique, surname-less name.

But the Al-Salt guy’s infuriating niceness had gotten the better of him, and he had once again scared Baitsakhan away with a honey-bee-pesticide-banning petition.  Who cares whether bees died?  Screw them.

The absence of a sufficient amount of caffeine, however, was not his only problem.  The Phone Guy (as baitsakhan had deemed him) had texted him back, albeit the dire-sounding warning, with a outrageous reply of, omg so sry got the wrong # D: rlly rlly sry :(.  And then, of all the emojis he could have typed, he chose the freaking <3.

Needless to say, Baitsakhan was pissed.  No one, no one the whole damn world, was allowed to send him a heart emoji (save Sarangerel and An’s incredibly sweet girlfriend Chiyoko, but that as different), and yet this complete stranger had taken it upon himself (or herself, he added as an afterthought) to send him one.  This was an outrage.  He would not dignify this text with an answer, he thought to himself.

So, naturally, he just had to go to that nice coffee shop to calm himself down.  Just had to.  And it had nothing to do with wanting to the hot barista.  Absolutely nothing.

Seating himself at the table closest to the window, he took out his phone, absent-mindedly scrolling through his playlist.  

An indefinite amount of time passes.  

And then, out of the blue, a hand suddenly tapped him shoulder, and, startled, he whipped around, teeth bared, hands out in front of him in an offensive position, ready to gouge the offenders eyeballs out ––

The cute barista (Maccabee, his mind supplied) is, apparently, said offender.

Great, there’s another person who thinks he’s a psychopathic weirdo (not that he isn’t, but still).

But instead of freaking out at his overreaction, the guy laughs.  Who even does that after a near-death experience? (Okay, maybe he’s exaggerating, but there’s no denying this guy was weird.)

“Chill dude, just here to take your order.”

Met with Baitsakhan’s blank look, the guy raises a perfectly arched eyebrow.

“Look, I love having you here, but if you don’t order something, like, right now, I’m going to have to kick you out, ’cause I just got this job and I really don’t want to lose it.  You know, you’ve been sitting here for like half an hour doing nothing.”

Holy hell, he’s been wasting thirty minutes doing nothing?!  Scrambling up (in a very dignified way, of course), he says, in a voice he hopes is impassive,

“Sure, I’ll have an espresso or something, like that thing you made last time.  If you don’t remember, I’ll just have the thing with the most caffeine.”

Maccabee (again, this is all his brain’s doing, there is no way Baitsakhan would consciously remember people’s names, even super hot guys) laughs at that, shaking his head.

“Of course I remember, who would be able to forget the order of the cutest guy we’ve had here since I started working?”

The blond is nice to enough not show any visible reaction to the way Baitsakhan’s face burns a deep red color at his comment, and instead smiles a bit lopsidedly and turns to go.  Suddenly he pauses, turns back to face the noirette, and before Baitsakhan can do anything the older teen quickly winks, so fast it was almost missed, and continues on towards the counter.

For the next five minutes, until Maccabee comes back with his drink, Baitsakhan just sits there, eyes wide, mouth gaping like a fish, shell-shocked.  Even then all he can do is close his mouth and nod his head politely.

A buzz from his phone catches his attention, finally rousing him from his stupor.  For a moment, he thinks that it’s the Phone Guy again, but when he see’s "Asian Hacker Lovebird”, he smiles to himself and swipes the screen sideways to reply.  Though he would never admit it, An crashing into his life nine years ago really made his life better a thousand-fold.  He remembered first arriving in North America, a bitter, parent-less seven year-old, small for his age but savage and aggressive, despite the language barrier.  Oh, he learned English in his due time, but back then, really all he could say were a few basic swear words that immediately earned him half a dozen enemies.  The one person he gravitated towards was a kid in the year above him, a Chinese boy who was all glares and rule-breaking and rebellious behaviour.  Looking at his slim frame and lanky form, people would be led to falsely believe that An was all bark and no bite.  

They couldn’t be more wrong.  

Professional in at least ten different types of martial arts and an expert at (illegal) poisons and (illegal) hacking, An was definitely a formidable opponent.  Baitsakhan’s type of guy.  They were the perfect pair, both cold and haughty at school and in public.  No one needed to know they played video games together well into the night and had weird movie marathons on a regular basis and smiled until their face’s hurt and laughed until they couldn’t breathe.

He was a good friend, cynical, with a dry sense of humor.

Right now, however, not so much.

asian hacker lovebird: where r u????

asian hacker lovebird: baits

asian hacker lovebird: answer me child

asian hacker lovebird: ANSWER ME CHILD

im-not-smol: Piss off.

asian hacker lovebird: THE CHILD IS HERE

im-not-smol: Don’t call me a child.

asian hacker lovebird: i repeat where r u

im-not-smol: A cafe.

asian hacker lovebird: specify

im-not-smol: Endgame Cafe.

asian hacker lovebird: U MEAN!!!

asian hacker lovebird: LIKE DA 1 W/ DA HOT BARISTA U RANT ABT 24/7??!!!!

asian hacker lovebird: OMG STAY RIGHT THERE DONT MOVE IMMA JOIN U

im-not-smol: Don’t you dare.

im-not-smol: 傻逼

asian hacker lovebird: oh no u did NOT just call me that

asian hacker lovebird: now i need 2 come 2 beat u up

asian hacker lovebird: it is a MUST

asian hacker lovebird: see ya in 2 min

im-not-smol: 王八蛋

asian hacker lovebird: SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP IMMA COME OVER RN 2 BEAT UP UR STUPID ASS

im-not-smol: You can try. ;)

asian hacker lovebird: challenge accepted ur goin DOWN boi

im-not-smol: We’ll see about that.

asian hacker lovebird: ur “impecable grammar” rlly pisses me off

asian hacker lovebird: *imppecable

asian hacker lovebird: ugh

asian hacker lovebird: smthn watevr i kant spel

im-not-smol: It’s not my fault you turned autocorrect off.

asian hacker lovebird: when will u eva learn 2 txt like a normal person???

asian hacker lovebird: 好落后

asian hacker lovebird: just sayin

im-not-smol: Shut up.

asian hacker lovebird: look up

Baitsakhan raised his head, only to be met with the sight of a very distorted face right next to his head.  And of course he didn’t scream Jesus Christ and shriek like a little girl, what are you talking about?

The weird twisted face outside morphed into a wicked grin and the doorbell rang once again as another customer entered, tears of mirth still apparent in his eyes.  This new comer looked quite out of the ordinary, tall and dressed in nothing but black and silver, a face that was all harsh angles and sharp corners and pale skin.  A contrasting red teardrop tattoo stood out, leaking out of his right eye, and his strange hair style earned him quite a few looks from the other customers.

“You’re so stupid.”

“Shut up, you will speak of this to no one, understand?”

Most people would quake with fear at the aggressive tone, but An just rolls his eyes,

“Normal people don’t speak like ancient three-hundred year-old vampires, Baits.”

He drops down on the chair opposing Baitsakhan’s, leaning back and crossing his legs, stretching them out in front of him, a picture of complete ease.

“So, where’s the hot shot?” An says in a mock-whisper tone.  Baitsakhan glares at him before subtly motioning towards the counter, where Maccabee is leaning against it, his phone one hand and a cup of coffee in the other.  For a moment, An just stares, a small smirk on his face (not that the smirk ever disappears), whistling appreciatively.  And then, out of the blue, he shouts, so loud that he attracts probably the attention of everyone else in the mile radius,

“Hey there, aren’t employees not supposed to serve themselves?”

Startled, Maccabee looks up.  He sees An’s triumphant expression and Baitsakhan’s kill-me-now-please-just-shoot-me-and-save-me-from-the-torture one, and kind of gathers what happened.  A lazy smile slips onto his face.  He walks over, leisurely, still holding the half-finished drink.

“You’re right.  But… ”  He pauses for effect, and in that short amount of time An actually gets around to rolling his eyes again.  The boy really gets a lot of practice.

“I’m off duty.  Ais over there took over for me.”

He gestures at a red-headed girl who has somehow managed to escape their notice until then.  For a moment, a strange look flits across Baitsakhan’s face, but as quickly as it got materialises, it disappears.

An shrugs.

“Oh.  Good for you.”  He says awkwardly.

There’s an uncomfortable silence, like the type when someone ought to say something but nobody does, before Baitsakhan finally interjects,

“Thanks for the coffee, but I think my friend and I should get going.” Here he pointedly glares at An, who stares innocently at the ceiling.  

“How much is it again?”

Maccabee shrugs,

“Don’t worry about it, as long as you come again, it’s on the house.”

He winks suggestively.

Baitsakhan, of course, agrees.  After all, who could say no to a free cup of coffee, right?  And obviously, obviously it had no correlation to the fact that he actually wanted to come back to ogle the baristas.  Duh, no.

When he first visited the coffee shop, Baitsakhan never imagined he would meet someone like this who flirted blatantly and paid for his drinks.  When he first exited the coffee shop, he never thought he would come back again.  When he came back the second time, he never thought that this place would impact his previously non-existent love life.

Only when they are outside the door, Baitsakhan for the second time, An the first, and An is laughing at his lovestruck (Baitsakhan would deny this) expression that Baitsakhan realises that maybe, maybe a tiny part of him has fallen in love with Maccabee.

(Just a tiny part.)

CHAPTER INDEX (for your convenience)

1 | 2

so. how’d you guys like it?

here are the translations:

傻逼 = dumbass/idiot

王八蛋 = its like f    er (sry, i rlly dont like swearing in english in writing, i feel like ppl will track me down and yell at me)

好落后 = so behind (as in trends, like in the context of not caught up on the latest trends)

hope that cleared things up a bit, if not feel free to send me a quick message, and i’ll explain to you in detail.

anyways, any suggestions for the next chapter?? (i really need to change the texting usernames, any suggestions for the individual characters?? eventually all of the players are gonna get involved one way or another in the texting conversations)

[arsnovac12]

Blog Post 1

I go on runs from time to time when I’m back in Burbank, I enjoy keeping active, but it’s mostly an excuse to get out of the house. When I come home on holiday, I become confined to my parents house without any means of viable transportation. I have my drivers license, sure, but no car. My parents can’t afford to buy me one, and I can’t afford to get one myself. In fact, even if I could afford a car, I certainly couldn’t afford the insurance to go with it. Anyway, all this is to say I go on runs so I don’t feel too confined to my house.

That’s not very interesting, is it? Some things just tend to be that way. The life of a poor twenty-one year old white kid is never all that interesting in the first place. My life, my story, whatever it is, is not irregular. In fact, it’s one most people in America know very well, because it gets championed whenever one of us poor white kids gets rich and famous. Surprise, surprise, it happens pretty frequently.

So why write about it? I don’t know. Does it really matter if no one sees it in the first place? Maybe not. I guess I backed myself into a corner. If you’re reading this (if anyone is reading this) you’re probably expecting me to dive further in. Ultimately, you might say, there’s no point in agonizing over whether or not you’re going to talk about your life, because you already started writing a blog post about it, and it has to go somewhere. It does, doesn’t it? So why start with a lengthy preamble full of rhetorical questions? Besides being a clear literary crutch I’m struggling with, I think I feel indebted to having a conversation or dialogue about these things, as if to hide from some private guilt I have in telling any personal story. Writing has clearly become some sort of therapy to me, where I play both doctor and patient. The results are always inconclusive.

Anyway I should get back to the bullshit lede about running. Look, I like running, and it’s when my head is its most clear, so forgive me for using it as a starting point. Most of my ideas come to me when I run, so it was only fitting that it become the brief anecdote that starts a blog post that holds the kernel of what I’m going for. Which, now that I’m thinking about it, I didn’t really get to. Look at me, whining before I even finished my “insignificant thing is contorted into something profound” anecdote. Okay, I’ll finish the story:

I like to go on runs. I feel trapped at my house, and I like to get out. Anyway, whenever I run, I take the same path. It leads away from my house towards the park in the hills where people would take their prom photos back in high school. The path mostly runs parallel to the major streets and hits several large intersections on its way. In all, the run from the house to the park and back is about five miles. Yesterday, I reached the park and stopped for some water. This wasn’t irregular or anything, but I took my time and drank more that I usually would. Then, something compelled me to keep running. The hills in Burbank are filled with expensive homes, and near the top of the street, sort of tucked away, there’s a pretty large mansion that’s almost gothic in its design. Anyway, I guess it was my curiosity that drove me to keep going. To get a look at that mansion, and the others around it.

So, I kept running for another half mile or so to see this mansion. On the way up, the houses got larger and more impressive looking, and I was filled with a mounting sense of dread. Eventually I reached the cul-de-sac with the house on its end. Naturally the street, called Viewcrest if you can believe it, was the most decadent one yet. Their driveways were filled with expensive cars I don’t know the names of, carefully manicured lawns, and about ten security cameras lining every porch. I got closer to the end of the street where the imposing mansion was, but it was tucked away from the front and hardly visible. I didn’t get much closer than fifty or sixty feet. The drive way had a large black Hummer sitting in it; another, more psychological warning sign for someone like me to keep away.

I left pretty quickly after I got there. No one was out, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of being unwelcome. Before I turned the corner and left the street completely, I had the strange desire for someone to come out of their house and scold me for even coming there. In this fantasy, would I stand my ground, or run away as is fitting for my station? My brain firing it’s typically small amount of synapses couldn’t quite make it that far. Instead, I was caught up in the swell of what righteous injustice such a thing should muster.

This story isn’t very interesting, I know. Nothing really happens in it and there isn’t much imagery to it, but it caught me off guard as I thought about it again today. I had the idea to write about the experience soon after it happened while I was still running, but I, ever the proactive one, put it off. In sitting down with it today, I realize how full of shit I am.

Before I go on, I’ll give a little more context for my life. As mentioned briefly before, I’m a poor white kid. My parents are loving if occasionally abusive, or maybe abusive if occasionally loving. We live in my (deceased) grandmothers house and can’t afford any necessary repairs on it to make the place livable. My dad lost his job about a year and a half ago that was going to take him to retirement, now he works at target. My mother is a hoarder, not to the extreme you may have seen on television, but certainly well beyond what the general society might deem as healthy. She works just enough hours at the Disney Corporation’s day care so that they don’t have to give her full time benefits.

Two of my adult brothers still live at home, crowding the house further. They could, should they allot their funds correctly, afford to have their own place, but my parents discourage that sort of thing. Coming from lower middle class families, both of them have really only known economic uncertainty their whole lives. To have their children live lives separated from themselves means certain uncertainty. Plus, when you don’t have the kids at home, there’s no one left to accuse of being a burden.

I, more than any of my brothers, struggled against my parents to have a normal life. For a while I was pretty damaged; my parents fundamental conservatism really did a number on me. I was a hateful kid, saying cruel things to people that didn’t deserve it. When I got to high school, it took a little while, but I became a better person. Still prone to bouts of selfishness, I began to try a little harder for things. I quit running competitively in high school to join the theater, much to my parents chagrin, and also started dating. Naturally my parents tried putting a stop to both.

By the time I finished high school, I had cut ties with most everyone that knew me there. By its end, I had partially realized that I hadn’t progressed all that much as a person and was still rather selfish. My assumptions that people did not like me were eventually proven correct when I had finally done something that had made me worth disliking. I receded further into myself, even more aware of my deepest flaws.

Eventually I made it to college where I became more depressed than I had ever been before. Towards the end of the semester, my mom ordered me to call after weeks of ignoring her. During that phone call, I told her that I wanted to kill myself. Horrified, she said that they could afford to send me to therapy, I said no, it would be too much of a hassle and it would get to be too expensive. She was relieved and thus the matter was settled and never spoken of again.

So today, I sit in my crowded bedroom in my decaying house (yes, there are rats now) and try and write a story, a true story, about how running in the rich part of town made me sad. So often I am desperately seeking a new lede, some way to ease into the story of my life, so I come up with the flimsiest ones imaginable as opposed to just starting from the beginning. I’m no one I tell myself, so why bother in the first place? No one will read it anyway. But so often, I’m met with the same dull idea that I have a story worth telling. The cynic in me is so embarrassed to want to explain away my life that it has to invent a dialogue with no one to justify wanting to tell an over told story. The poet in me wants to make something beautiful out of my life, and will find any excuse to do so in the most meaningless of events. The realist is here with you trying to make sense of these two voices.

I am obsessed with artifice. Look anywhere in my life and you’ll see it. I’m a theater performance major. I sit at home alone and watch movies that very few people like to gage some sensationalist position on. I go running by major streets hoping that someone, anyone from my past will see me and say hello. I run to the park I took my prom pictures at for the hope that some ounce of high school happiness will be absorbed back into myself, so that I can pretend I didn’t lose all my friends from those years by being selfish. I run further into the hills because deep down I know it might lead to something worth writing about. Only to now finally realize there wasn’t much of a story there to begin with. There, or anywhere.

Self pitying is probably what most people would call this. I’ll probably call it that too. Maybe it’s a cry for help. Maybe. Or maybe it’s a desperate plea for attention from an empty audience, because the author thinks that’s most poetic of all.

[regularbeans]

you know.... with all said and done... there’s not a single thing I’d change about the ending of Vale. it’s really how it was supposed to end. and once again, if you have any plans of reading it do not read this post cause im going to literally spell out the ending okay. this was especially a warning to my sister x)

so im not exactly good at character development but i am good at relationship developments which might be weird like if i know how to do one thing how cant i know how to do the other... but oh well i dont want to lament more on that i just really like how i did the relationships in the story though not so many of them change.

morlene and vale don’t change too much but i feel like everything that was going to happen between them happened before the story. they weren’t going to love each other any more after anything that happened in the story. morlene’s last words to vale are “i love you, i don’t regret anything” but they weren’t brought on by character growth, she said them because it was her last chance to reassure vale that she shouldn’t feel guilty about anything.

cephas’ character doesn’t really have time to change in a nuanced way though id like to think i gave his moments of growth enough motivation. sure he gets dragged into this whole mess by a complete stranger but the biggest step for him is when he almost causes his and vale’s death by getting themselves tangled up with vera talbot. that’s when he shows vale his house (and when in reac vale tells him her name so that’s a twofer right there). but he and vale are inseparable long before they find out who they are. after all, vale gives up her plans to move to the mainland to help him (not even to save him because at this point cephas isnt even in danger) and then sweet cephas who looks so awkward with a weapon and whose custom-made switch-sword has never seen blood kills, gruesomely, just to get to vale.

cephas and morlene are kind of on the same wavelength and if you think about it, morlene not telling her two best friends about her role in the rebellion just so she wouldn’t interrupt their personal shenanigans is very in-line with how cephas used to be so inward that he never had a single friend in thirty years of his life. and in the end they’re in very similar situations too. cephas lost his sister and morlene lost her love, and though mason will miss vale too, they’re the only two people who feel that way because mason’s love for vale is quite different.

now, mason is the character thats the most alike in both worlds and even though we only see the ending of mason #2′s character arc i can pretty much tell you it’s very similar in both worlds.

mason’s character development also kicked off long before the story started. her journey leads from deciding to be part of the very thing she’s trying to stop just so she can work from close to the fire and eventually end the royal guard’s rule and save the people. the very people who she’s forced to hurt and the very people that don’t know and can’t know that she’s doing all this for them. was there a better way to help them? angel would probably say there was, after all they were a royal witch at one point too but left when they saw what they were being used for.

but in the same time, in the other world the other angel pretty much spells out that they stayed in the guard and helped that way. so clearly, there are situations where that seems like the only option.

so mason’s journey leads from having to work from the shadows to being able to take control from the royal guard and being able to stand in front of the people of caelmoor and telling them exactly how shits gonna fly from now on. to finally be able to communicate with the people and prove to them that she only ever wanted to help. i love her speech so much (i know i wrote it x)) because it’s just so Mason. She doesn’t talk like Zavier used to hold his speeches. She curses, calls Zavier a dickhead, she’s done with having to appear one way when she’s the other.

"This is a democracy," she bellows over a wind-swept land. "And I'm not a king. I'm a guard. My council is guards, scientists, architects, mechanics, engineers, and civilians."

Here we go, I think with childish excitement, compelled to physically rub my hands together.

"And as such, we don't need a castle," Mason says, and I can see from where I sit that she raises both hands in the air.

At her cue, what I assume must be dozens of people standing by the ends of mile-long ropes, drop the tarps covering the mountainside to reveal the high castle, the mountainside, and the entirety of the lower castle covered in scaffoldings from top to bottom and side to side.

"We don't need marble statues," Mason yells and movement starts behind her as a squad of carts ride out from the castle yard, packed full of stuff. I can't see that from this far but it's pretty obvious what's happening. "We don't need golden chandeliers. We don't need velvet curtains, leather armchairs, crystal windows, platinum, silver, diamond, we don't need any of that crap!"

Along with the row of carts riding at walking speed from the castle along the set path, a group of people start following them on foot, each holding an instrument, playing music, marching enthusiastically by the rally that I can hear even without loud speakers.

"The new building will be enough for us to govern the island from, but we'll tear this whole place down bit-by-bit over the next few weeks and sell all of our precious white stone to the mainland if that means every citizen of Caelmoor gets to live in peace and prosperity. I'll tear the whole mountain down if I have to before dooming another person to death because the king likes his castles high, welcome to the fucking parade!"

Loud bumps in the loud speakers and what little movement I can make out imply that Mason literally kicked over her microphone stand as her last words are drowned out by deafening screams and cheers from all over downtown.

what an icon.

and bitch. think of that. before this part she says the landfill in the shanty town will be filled up and the residential cemetery will be extended so nobody has to toss their loved ones in a hole anymore. just imagine the catharsis this woman felt when she realised she can finally do this. i realise that if this was a famous book a lot of people would probably immediately draw parallels between shit like X-Men like “she was just following orders” or whatever but she was saving people. she really was. a lot more people would’ve died if someone else is guard commander instead of mason. yes it sucks and you can blame her, vale did too, but she did the only thing she had the chance to which was minimising casualties.

so thats mason. her main relationship arc is just with the general population of caelmoor. she also has a problem with vale’s neutrality in the beginning which is why they broke up in the first place. when morlene moves the rebellion forward and use it as an opportunity to save cephas and mason tells vale to pick a side finally, she answers “you would be surprised”. thats their growth moment.

now, we covered that morlene doesnt (need to) change much, and that cephas changes in that he finally finds his people. vale warns him not to get stuck in another cage (first his mansion, then ecklehold, then his mission to find a way back to vale) and he’s not. i also love it when he insists that he gets to say goodbye to vale though its at a really unfortunate time. but thats pretty much the first selfish thing you see him do in the whole story and thats vale’s influence.

and how vale changes is also cephas’ influence. they muse quite a bit about how they’re supposed to be the same person and how thats weird because theyre so different but i dont think theyre that different at all, their lives just started in different ways that brought different sides of them. cephas was brought up by neglectful parents who then “left him” completely, of course he grew into an adult all on his own, became a thief and lived in a house all by himself. vale grew up in a loving family even if they were assassin grandparents and sort of absentee parents. she was trained to be social, a chameleon, a conwoman, and extrovert, fit to adapt to any situation.

but whether they’re technically twins, or literally the same person but just different genders, it really doesnt matter. cephas makes vale laugh the first time they meet, then vale reads cephas like an open book later that very same day. they joke and mess around like old friends do when vale is still debating whether she shouldve saved the guy in the first place and cephas has no idea why caelmoor’s most famous assassin would take a liking to him. why anyone would. they just have this instant connection and they open up parts of each other through what they share with each other of themselves after all the traumatic shit that happens to them.

so vale... a thousand identities and faces she shows to the people she uses to get what she wants, tries (and fails) to keep a distance from the only person she ever truly loved then this loser shows up in her life and she realises life can be just like that. you can have friends and its normal. towards the endgame shes at a point where she would rather die than to be separated from them. and then she is.

despite promising cephas that she would live she spends the next few weeks of her new life in her old world preparing to die. when she goes to see zavier #2 before his execution she goes there with the intention to die. she spent her whole life preparing to kill zavier and now she would free him and let him live if it only meant she gets to die. 

"This door leads outside, behind Ecklehold where the stands can't see. I have a bunch of smoke bombs in my bag, you can evade the guards before they know where to look for you. There's a boat by the residential docks that will take you to the mainland. You can disappear and start a new life, just like you planned before. I can give you about seventy-five silvers but I expect you know how to fend for yourself."

I haven't spoken this much since I made the deal with the damn boatman, and boy, my throat is sore.

For a few seconds Zavier can only look at me in disbelief, his wrists held slightly together like he hasn't noticed that I cut him loose.

"Why are you doing this?"

"I need something from you in return," I say and turn the pistol around, so the handle is facing Zavier. "You have to kill me."

The guards outside have started to look for which route Zavier could've take and it's only a matter of seconds before they try getting in here. They might think it's just a locked door so they might not dedicate a whole squad to getting it open but they will get it open.

Zavier looks at the gun then back at me, his forehead wrinkling above his eyebrows.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because they won't do it," I snap at him, but I can't keep my facial muscles from spasming. "And I can't do it. And somebody fucking has to."

Zavier exhales a gentle oh and puts one hand on the handle and another one on my hands. His fingers envelope mine and I can't let go. He keeps eye contact, his light blue iris drawing my glance to him like a magnet, and his dreadful coldness creeps into my head and burns me from the inside.

"Too bad, Vale Callaghan," he whispers, his face so close and his voice so overwhelming to my senses I can no longer see the room around us. "Nobody can save you now."

(in my brain, by the way, patrick warburton is zavier x)) if zavier takes the gun from her and shoots her she wouldnt fight to survive. she wants him to finish it. but then he doesnt and shes now forever doomed to live. even mason #2 acknowledged that being left alive is a punishment for her. so what does vale do? the vale that was asked a thousand and one times to just stay with her friends and the vale that chose to walk away every time. she actively and willingly asks for help, the most selfish thing she can imagine to do as undeserving as she thinks she is of any help. she goes to morlene #2 and tells her everything. and when morlene #2 inevitably asks her to stay because even though theyre different people she’s still morlene, she stays.

and she’s going to be okay.

initially the ending of vale included vale being able to see and talk to cephas every time the blightning happens and the gate opens for a bit even if they cant cross over to hug and stuff. but then i wanted to be cruel(er) and decided celia and eamon would totally invent a way to stop the beacons from creating a gateway, so it does. the fact that the lunar bronze, the same material the beacon is from can cross over the gate was absolute bullshit from my part and its kind of just a reward i wanted to give vale for finally learning her lesson, to not hate herself for letting people help her.

also i really love that she doesnt just stay an assassin in the new world but she also finds a job at tulip’s store AND offers to train the new guard :’D 

oh tulip. speaks the best line in the whole story. he’s the only man i trust.

"I give advice, here," he says and leans in close, almost having to stand on his tiptoes. His breath stinks of spices. "Morlene tell me other world and Caelmoor. Same people but other people."

"You really have this whole multiverse theory down, don't you?"       

"If other Caelmoor Tulip is Tulip, you go find Tulip you ask for help. He help. Ask him to no questions, he will no questions. You are no lonely."

This is literally the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

"Thanks, man," I pat him on the shoulder. "Stay sharp, yeah?"

"Ahha!" he laughs while doing the finger guns at me. "I see you did there!"

"Because you have a blade sharpening business?"

"Very smart!"

[samanthasroberts]

13 Ways To Make Your Partner Feel Important (So Your Relationship Has A Chance)

My husband and I have been together for almost nine years now. Thats almost a third of my life! Although were still madly in love we do have our moments. In particular, when I was in college I was so wrapped up in my own studies, work and our daughter, that my marriage was quickly falling apart and I didnt even notice! My husband, who was also busy with work, did notice and he felt as if I just didnt care about him anymore.

He had valid reason to think so. I spent so much time studying and trying to juggle everything else that I really didnt give him the attention, love and care that he deserved. Eventually, that led to fights and arguments until I understood why he was so mad. I promised myself to make him feel important again, because he is, and were doing better than ever.

Sometimes when youre married for a long time other things take priority over your husband. With kids, work, friends, household chores and responsibilities, along with your own hobbies and interests, your relationship will occasionally fall to the wayside as you spend time doing other things. It happens and thats okay, but if youre not careful, you and your husband may begin to drift apart.

There will be days, sometimes weeks, where youre too busy to go out or even spend quality time together at home. Thats normal, but a prolonged emotional distance and time spent apart can cause some serious relationship damage.

Its crucial to make your loved one feel important on a daily basis if you want your relationship to last. And they should make you feel important, too. Although it can be very easy to make someone feel loved and important, it can also be something thats forgotten if you dont put any effort in at all a difficult lesson I had to learn.

1. Ask him about his day.

After so many years with someone, asking about their day can seem trivial. I mean, dont we already know what they do for work and yadda-yadda? That might so, but taking the time to ask him about his day shows you care and that youre thinking about him.

My husband and I make it a priority to ask one another about our days. Not only do we ask, we actually listen and show interest, and that is key! You have to actually pay attention! And because its something you can do every day over dinner its easy to actually remember to do it.

2. Talk about him.

Its been proven that a persons favorite topic to talk about is themselves, so why not let him? Let him talk about his day, his hobbies, his friends and favorite things. Then ask him questions about those things and keep him talking! Hell love it and think to himself that his wife really cares.

3. Show genuine interest in his passions.

Its great when you and your husband have similar interests; it gives you something to talk about and activities to do together. For example, my husband and I enjoy thrift shopping, going to concerts and browsing art galleries. However, he still has hobbies and interests that I dont share with him and vice versa. He enjoys playing darts, watching documentaries and has a deep love for all things (including the lifestyle) from the mid-century. And I enjoy spending time outdoors, creating art and playing board games.

Although my husband would rather grab a pint at the pub and shoot some pool over hiking, he still joins me now and again for a walk in the woods, and Ill join him for a drink. More importantly, Ill ask him questions about things he enjoys and actually listen. (Remember when I said people like to talk about themselves?)

Even if you dont necessarily care for his passions and hobbies, you should at least show some interest. Nothing makes someone feel more important than when you want to talk about them and the things they enjoy. And who knows? Maybe youll actually find a new hobby or passion in the process. I know I have.

4. Dont criticize or complain.

No matter who someone is, its quite possible they will do things we dont like. Little quirks and habits are things that all couples have to deal with over the years, but at some point there will be something that comes up that you just cant stand. No matter what that is, how you handle it is the important part.

The first thing to do is to try and understand him and his point of view. If its something that you need to talk about it, go ahead and talk about it, but instead of criticizing and complaining make sure to be understanding and forgiving.

5. Let him vent.

Everyone has a bad day now and then, and he will, too. It can frustrating to listen to someone vent their problems but if you want him to feel important you should take the time to listen. Not only that, but try not to invalidate his feelings or even try to solve his problems. Truth is, he just wants someone to listen to him.

6. Show your appreciation.

Did you know people like to feel appreciated? Of course. They like to feel valued, cared about, needed, wanted and loved. One way to show your husband that you feel all of these things is to take note of his good qualities and give him sincere appreciation.

Is he a good cook? Does he always brush the snow off your car in the winter? Or maybe he likes to surprise you with flowers? Dont let the little things go unnoticed!

Showing your appreciation can be done in a number of ways. It can be shown with a hug, in a written note, or a simple kind gesture, but of course, a simple thank you will always do.

7. Show gratitude.

Whenever you find yourself becoming frustrated with your husband try to write out a list of all the things about him that youre grateful for. This list can include whatever you want on it and it will help remind you of all the reasons you love him. Then, from time to time, let him know about the things that youre grateful for.

Does he cook you dinner most nights? Be grateful! Is he a great listener? Be grateful. Does he make you feel special? Be grateful! And dont just write it down, let him know that you are grateful for him. You may think that he already knows, but even still he actually might need to hear the words or be shown, and it will mean the world to him.

8. Be affectionate.

In a newer relationship affection seems to be something that just happens naturally. New couples cant seem to stop touching each other, whether its holding hands or something more. Unfortunately in most cases as the relationship develops couples often stop being as affectionate as when they first started dating.

In my own experience, one of the quickest ways to kill a relationship is to neglect each other physically. Being affectionate with one another will make both of you feel more comfortable and connected, but without it, you may feel distant and cold and not even know why.

There are a lot of different ways to show affection, and its not just about sex. It can be as simple as a good morning kiss, holding hands while walking down the street, or even sitting next to one another on the couch. Not to mention, theres also cuddling, spooning in bed, massaging one another, and joking around.

In order to keep your love and passion alive, and make one another feel important, remember to show your affection regularly!

9. Respect each others opinions.

Most of the couples I know share a lot of the same values and opinions. Still, there are things that two people just wont agree on. It might be something as small as agreeing what the best restaurant is, or even something more serious like who to vote for. Chances are though, that it wont be a complete deal breaker.

When you dont agree with something, the best thing to do is agree to disagree. Fighting about it usually wont change the other persons opinion, it will only make the both of you angry. You can, however, discuss it as long as you respect the other persons opinion, keep an open-mind, be honest and in the end, remember that you are both entitled to your own thoughts and opinions. By showing you respect his opinion, you make him feel important.

10. Accept his family.

There are a lot of jokes in TV sit-coms and in life about parent-in-laws, and thats because people can relate! Sometimes your husbands parents might just infuriate you and your parents might just infuriate him. Still, as his wife, you should really do your best to accept his parents and he yours.

Its important that you try your best to get along, accept them and be respectful. Im not saying that you have to like them, but you do have to tolerate them if you want your husband to feel important. So the next time the in-laws are getting on your nerves, keep your mouth shut.

11. Celebrate his successes.

No matter how big or small that success is, celebrating it with him will make him feel important. Got promoted at work? Celebrate! Passed a test? Celebrate! Won a game? Celebrate!

Nothing says you are important to me like a big ol cake to celebrate a success. Unless, of course, he prefers beer.

12. Give generously.

How amazing does it feel to receive something, whether its someones time or a gift? It makes you feel pretty damn important! If you want to make your husband feel important, try giving generously.

Im not saying you have to go out and buy him a new sports car for his birthday (which would be awesome) but you should try to do nice things for him on the regular.

13. Open up about yourself.

Finally, open up to your husband; open your heart and your mind, and share yourself with him completely. A marriage is different from other relationships and one thing that makes it different is the openness that is shared between the two of you.

There are a lot of different ways to make that special man in your life feel important, but you have to remember to actually do it. And dont forget, they should make you feel important, too!

This post originally appeared at Attract The One.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/13-ways-to-make-your-partner-feel-important-so-your-relationship-has-a-chance/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/02/04/13-ways-to-make-your-partner-feel-important-so-your-relationship-has-a-chance/

[allofbeercom]

13 Ways To Make Your Partner Feel Important (So Your Relationship Has A Chance)

My husband and I have been together for almost nine years now. Thats almost a third of my life! Although were still madly in love we do have our moments. In particular, when I was in college I was so wrapped up in my own studies, work and our daughter, that my marriage was quickly falling apart and I didnt even notice! My husband, who was also busy with work, did notice and he felt as if I just didnt care about him anymore.

He had valid reason to think so. I spent so much time studying and trying to juggle everything else that I really didnt give him the attention, love and care that he deserved. Eventually, that led to fights and arguments until I understood why he was so mad. I promised myself to make him feel important again, because he is, and were doing better than ever.

Sometimes when youre married for a long time other things take priority over your husband. With kids, work, friends, household chores and responsibilities, along with your own hobbies and interests, your relationship will occasionally fall to the wayside as you spend time doing other things. It happens and thats okay, but if youre not careful, you and your husband may begin to drift apart.

There will be days, sometimes weeks, where youre too busy to go out or even spend quality time together at home. Thats normal, but a prolonged emotional distance and time spent apart can cause some serious relationship damage.

Its crucial to make your loved one feel important on a daily basis if you want your relationship to last. And they should make you feel important, too. Although it can be very easy to make someone feel loved and important, it can also be something thats forgotten if you dont put any effort in at all a difficult lesson I had to learn.

1. Ask him about his day.

After so many years with someone, asking about their day can seem trivial. I mean, dont we already know what they do for work and yadda-yadda? That might so, but taking the time to ask him about his day shows you care and that youre thinking about him.

My husband and I make it a priority to ask one another about our days. Not only do we ask, we actually listen and show interest, and that is key! You have to actually pay attention! And because its something you can do every day over dinner its easy to actually remember to do it.

2. Talk about him.

Its been proven that a persons favorite topic to talk about is themselves, so why not let him? Let him talk about his day, his hobbies, his friends and favorite things. Then ask him questions about those things and keep him talking! Hell love it and think to himself that his wife really cares.

3. Show genuine interest in his passions.

Its great when you and your husband have similar interests; it gives you something to talk about and activities to do together. For example, my husband and I enjoy thrift shopping, going to concerts and browsing art galleries. However, he still has hobbies and interests that I dont share with him and vice versa. He enjoys playing darts, watching documentaries and has a deep love for all things (including the lifestyle) from the mid-century. And I enjoy spending time outdoors, creating art and playing board games.

Although my husband would rather grab a pint at the pub and shoot some pool over hiking, he still joins me now and again for a walk in the woods, and Ill join him for a drink. More importantly, Ill ask him questions about things he enjoys and actually listen. (Remember when I said people like to talk about themselves?)

Even if you dont necessarily care for his passions and hobbies, you should at least show some interest. Nothing makes someone feel more important than when you want to talk about them and the things they enjoy. And who knows? Maybe youll actually find a new hobby or passion in the process. I know I have.

4. Dont criticize or complain.

No matter who someone is, its quite possible they will do things we dont like. Little quirks and habits are things that all couples have to deal with over the years, but at some point there will be something that comes up that you just cant stand. No matter what that is, how you handle it is the important part.

The first thing to do is to try and understand him and his point of view. If its something that you need to talk about it, go ahead and talk about it, but instead of criticizing and complaining make sure to be understanding and forgiving.

5. Let him vent.

Everyone has a bad day now and then, and he will, too. It can frustrating to listen to someone vent their problems but if you want him to feel important you should take the time to listen. Not only that, but try not to invalidate his feelings or even try to solve his problems. Truth is, he just wants someone to listen to him.

6. Show your appreciation.

Did you know people like to feel appreciated? Of course. They like to feel valued, cared about, needed, wanted and loved. One way to show your husband that you feel all of these things is to take note of his good qualities and give him sincere appreciation.

Is he a good cook? Does he always brush the snow off your car in the winter? Or maybe he likes to surprise you with flowers? Dont let the little things go unnoticed!

Showing your appreciation can be done in a number of ways. It can be shown with a hug, in a written note, or a simple kind gesture, but of course, a simple thank you will always do.

7. Show gratitude.

Whenever you find yourself becoming frustrated with your husband try to write out a list of all the things about him that youre grateful for. This list can include whatever you want on it and it will help remind you of all the reasons you love him. Then, from time to time, let him know about the things that youre grateful for.

Does he cook you dinner most nights? Be grateful! Is he a great listener? Be grateful. Does he make you feel special? Be grateful! And dont just write it down, let him know that you are grateful for him. You may think that he already knows, but even still he actually might need to hear the words or be shown, and it will mean the world to him.

8. Be affectionate.

In a newer relationship affection seems to be something that just happens naturally. New couples cant seem to stop touching each other, whether its holding hands or something more. Unfortunately in most cases as the relationship develops couples often stop being as affectionate as when they first started dating.

In my own experience, one of the quickest ways to kill a relationship is to neglect each other physically. Being affectionate with one another will make both of you feel more comfortable and connected, but without it, you may feel distant and cold and not even know why.

There are a lot of different ways to show affection, and its not just about sex. It can be as simple as a good morning kiss, holding hands while walking down the street, or even sitting next to one another on the couch. Not to mention, theres also cuddling, spooning in bed, massaging one another, and joking around.

In order to keep your love and passion alive, and make one another feel important, remember to show your affection regularly!

9. Respect each others opinions.

Most of the couples I know share a lot of the same values and opinions. Still, there are things that two people just wont agree on. It might be something as small as agreeing what the best restaurant is, or even something more serious like who to vote for. Chances are though, that it wont be a complete deal breaker.

When you dont agree with something, the best thing to do is agree to disagree. Fighting about it usually wont change the other persons opinion, it will only make the both of you angry. You can, however, discuss it as long as you respect the other persons opinion, keep an open-mind, be honest and in the end, remember that you are both entitled to your own thoughts and opinions. By showing you respect his opinion, you make him feel important.

10. Accept his family.

There are a lot of jokes in TV sit-coms and in life about parent-in-laws, and thats because people can relate! Sometimes your husbands parents might just infuriate you and your parents might just infuriate him. Still, as his wife, you should really do your best to accept his parents and he yours.

Its important that you try your best to get along, accept them and be respectful. Im not saying that you have to like them, but you do have to tolerate them if you want your husband to feel important. So the next time the in-laws are getting on your nerves, keep your mouth shut.

11. Celebrate his successes.

No matter how big or small that success is, celebrating it with him will make him feel important. Got promoted at work? Celebrate! Passed a test? Celebrate! Won a game? Celebrate!

Nothing says you are important to me like a big ol cake to celebrate a success. Unless, of course, he prefers beer.

12. Give generously.

How amazing does it feel to receive something, whether its someones time or a gift? It makes you feel pretty damn important! If you want to make your husband feel important, try giving generously.

Im not saying you have to go out and buy him a new sports car for his birthday (which would be awesome) but you should try to do nice things for him on the regular.

13. Open up about yourself.

Finally, open up to your husband; open your heart and your mind, and share yourself with him completely. A marriage is different from other relationships and one thing that makes it different is the openness that is shared between the two of you.

There are a lot of different ways to make that special man in your life feel important, but you have to remember to actually do it. And dont forget, they should make you feel important, too!

This post originally appeared at Attract The One.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/13-ways-to-make-your-partner-feel-important-so-your-relationship-has-a-chance/