#and it leads to weird shit like this lmaooo

[tizeline]

You know how in the movie Casey jr has that scene with Leo over his whole leadership thing and how that got all of his brothers in serious danger with Raph getting kidnapped?

Well, in your AU it could be that CJ instead has an argument with Mikey over his hostility towards CJ and humans in general and how that got Donnie kidnapped and Raph and Leo hurt.

I can see Mikey being hostile since the moment CJ appeared and Donnie arguing about it which is what lead to the situation where Donnie sacrificed himself for Mikey, with CJ being non confrontational about it since he KNOWS what future Mikey is like and he is so sweet and kind and caring and like an uncle to him and he literally blew up his own body to at least save CJ from the Kraang. Can also see Mikey initially blaming CJ for the Donnie situation as he was the focus of the arguing.

Which ends up boiling over like in canon, leading to some good old drama and character development™️

Oh yeah, that's what I'm planning >:) That scene where CJ confronts Leo about his questionable leadership-tactics, where gonna get CJ chewing Mikey out for being a little shit. In general it's really weird for CJ to see Master Michelangelo of all people act so hostile towards him and Donnie. He knew vaugely about The Drax Trios inital animosity towards humans and that they and Donnie didn't immedietly get along, but the Michelangelo he knew growing up had gotten past all that already and had gotten really close with Donnie. So yeah, eventually CJ's just like "what's your fucking deal???"

In the movie, right after Raph gets taken, Leo at first gets angry at CJ and blames him for not warning them about it, but pretty quickly gets over it when CJ explains that he had no idea that this was gonna happen because it didn't in his timeline. In the AU, Mikey lashes out in a similar manner and blames CJ for Donnie being taken, difference here is that he stays mad at CJ even though he knows, logically, that it's not CJ's fault. But Mikey is being consumed by guilt and anxiety over the entire situation and it's easier to take out his negative emotions on CJ considering Mikey already didn't like him simply because he was human.

Actually, when CJ first shows up, Donnie's pretty skeptical of him as well considering he's a stranger, but when he notices that Mikey obviously doesn't like him either, Donnie flips a switch and is all like "welcome to the family, new guy!!" just to annoy Mikey 😭 And that just makes Mikey more annoyed at both Donnie and CJ lmaooo

As for Mikey possibly (at this point probably) sacrificing himself similarly to Leo in the movie to end the invasion would happen both because he feels guilty and blames himself for everything bad that happened. But also because this is when it finally clicks for Mikey that no, the prophecy warning about the fall of yōkai-kind wasn't refering to humans as the threat, but rather the krang! So Mikey figures that he was literally made to prevent the krang-invasion and as such is able to accept that it might come at the cost of his own life (he's still very much dealing with main-character syndrome lol)

Lmao imagine Draxum's reaction to all this though- Draxum: You have the duty of saving the world. Mikey: Okay! *dies* Draxum: nOT LIKE THAT-!

[jymwahuwu]

okay hi i’m new here and i was wondering if 1.) i could be 🍧 anon. and 2.) i was hoping to request yandere!jing yuan with a fem!reader who and yes this goes back to another rq you did of jing who kept spamming and calling reader to do the naughty, becomes super fed up with his shit and starts avoiding him irl. as like, she’s avoiding him and what have you, the texts- calls- and pictures all get progressively more frequent, until you’re basically waking up to pictures of him laying in bed w/o a shirt or, a pic of him after he gets ready- asking if you like his outfit and think he looks good.

but like reader becomes so annoyed that she tries blocking him, changing her number, avoiding him, and he only takes it as motivation to keep up his antics because he KNOWS how flustered it makes you, and he isn’t going to stop. but now he’s becoming slowly more creepy to the point he calls you and says “oh hey bby i’m on my way over 😘 leave the door unlocked for me”

anyways— thanks if you get the chance to do this request! i love ur work and can’t wait to see more from you!

related content: yan! jing yuan keeps spamming you and calling you

thanks for your encouragement! sure u can be 🍧 anon! visiting your house is really creepy lmaooo is there any way to stop him?

TW: yandere, non-con, harassment, looks like delusional but he's not delusional, somehow super lucid

Oh this is going to happen someday, you have all the desperate attempts to stop Jing Yuan- block him, keep changing numbers, check yourself on the street if you are being followed, and walk into the crowd. What you get are messages from [new number] praising your stunts (for avoiding him) and telling you that he really wants you to bend over if it's not in public. There's even something like "[photos 2], [photos 9], [voice message 2:16]". A large number of explicit texts and photos to lure your desire.

You look for a button to turn off message notifications, but somehow there's no way, just like you can't hang up those calls. You believe that your mobile phone has been hacked, but that is the power of Xianzhou technology, what ability do you have to refuse…?

Today's a weird but good day - you didn't see [new messages 42], nor were you distracted by morning and late-night phone calls leading you to surreptitiously watch porn. You're at home enjoying the peace of mind while sipping your favorite drink and watching space TV. However, halfway through the show, you receive a call from the general.

"Huh?" You were a little numb.

"Oh hey baby I'm on my way over!" There was a cheerful voice over there, which brought a bit of sunshine compared to the previous low voice. "Remember to leave the door unlocked for me-" You didn't hold it steady for a few seconds, and the drink in your hand spilled out - what does it mean? Jing Yuan on the way to your house?

"Wait… what?!" The call was over. You opened the chat history with your trembling fingertips, there was indeed a message last night saying "Baby here has a surprise for you tomorrow so we can have a good time (♡˙︶˙♡)"

What follows is your choice, but with the same consequences. You can leave the house temporarily, or stay in the house but lock the door and put a stick or something on the door handle. Leaving the house will only be caught by him like a kitten and brought home under the shocked eyes of everyone. And the option to lock the door, you're so naive, aren't you? Jing Yuan rings the door bell first and tells you "baby your dear boyfriend is here". After getting no response, the general murmured that he was lucky to have your spare key, and you who eavesdropped behind the door covered your mouth to suppress the screaming - how could he have your house key? Seeing that the door handle was stuck, Jing Yuan casually smashed the door handle with a relaxed smile on his face.

It's like a surreal nightmare for you now with an immersive live-action experience.

"Baby, I'm home. Are you eager?" He put his hands around your waist and lifted you off the ground. This is the first thing Jing Yuan does after entering your home. No matter how flustered and annoyed you are, asking him to put you down, the general will hold your waist tightly, feeling your breath contentedly. It takes a full minute before you get back to the ground.

Jing Yuan tries to act like a thoughtful boyfriend, cuddling with you on the couch watching a show (ignoring your struggle in a huff, stroking your boobs), giving you teahouse's popular drink (and throwing the original drink). There's a raised tent rubbing your butt, and you writhe in embarrassment.

General's plan for you is a sweet date at home, and… a sex marathon! He already told you how to pamper you, right? He started holding your cheek and kissing you affectionately and slowly, even as you whined with your eyes closed and pushed his chest with tears. He shudders as the cock buries into your warm and tight walls. It was better than he'd ever imagined in any call. You whimper "no", "this is too big", "I don't want to…" Jing Yuan shushes you, tells you you are adorable, stretches you unhurriedly with his dick.

Even though your house is small for him, Jing Yuan sees this as a lovely bird house. He starts fucking you all over the house, from bumping you on the dining table to overstimulating you and forcing you to squirt on the bed. If you have a balcony or a garden, Jing Yuan even considers taking you out to tease you a little. Of all the furniture, his favorite is your little bathtub. After being exhausted, Jing Yuan puts you in a bathtub filled with warm water and bubbles for you to relax, just like a responsible boyfriend would do. After taking a bath, he knew that you might not be able to walk by yourself now, so he carried you to the bed. He changes you into a pajamas patterned with furry animals. He loves doing these sweet things for you!

General pats you on the back, gently wiping away your tears. Your screaming isn't getting any help. You can only whine, sob, and sniff - until... you hyperventilate and fall asleep. He knows it's a packed schedule for a first date, so it's understandable that you'd be overwhelmed.

He took a picture of your sleeping face, clasped his fingers with you, and fell asleep together. There will be more sweet dates in the future. You will get used to it, right?

[neiptune]

aot boys x guilty pleasures

a/n: this is me being self indulgent and having a lil fun so forgive the shitposting but also feedback is always appreciated mwah

eren loves the shit out of nature documentaries you'll leave him alone one saturday night and you'll come back to find him sprawled on the couch watching life of mammals or some shit on netflix lmao you'd be on a date and he'd get suddenly excited enough to hit you with random facts like “btw did you know that the average blood pressure of a giraffe is around 300/190?” he'd literally barge in rooms with a “babe omg hummingbirds are like the only birds that can fly backwards” and you'd just be sitting on the toilet with a very unimpressed look but he's cute 12/10 would make a good park ranger or whatever

armin is lowkey obsessed with youtubers like he legitimaly sits down and watches hours on end of unboxing/reaction videos or travel vlogs jfc and it's always the dumb stuff ya know like person x unboxing the same phone in 10 different colors or person y reacting to drake's new single and THAT controversial lyric. it's exhausting really he'd be in bed at 3am still going through chrissy's 27 min travel vlog about some bali vacation gone wrong and don't even get me started on drama and internal feuds or breakups oh my god he has a whole playlist of breaking my silence videos on youtube to keep track of who's said what so he can pick the best side

you've introduced jean to the world of fandoms and fanfiction and at first he was all like nah that's too weird but now he has his own ao3 account and eats the weirdest most hilarious shit up, will also use acquired terms in the wrongest way like you'd be watching bridgerton together and he'd suddenly nod to himself with a OOOO TRIGGER WARNING THEY BOUT TO FUCK lmao he's obsessed tbh his twitter is filled with commentary on random chapters he's screenshot and that I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP titanic gif posted over and over again like no honey you will not we've moved past that 10 years ago

oh god connie is such a chronic playlist creator he'd have one for EVERYTHING and he genuinely spends hours selecting the perfect most appropriate songs and titles for each one, you best believe before you first started dating he's made one for you called “i like you idgaf about your boyfriend” which came with a weird ass mix of sweet stuff like just the way you are by bruno mars and cash shit by megan thee stallion lmaooo he's so random he thinks he's good at it too and you don't have the heart to tell him that “get down dirty bedroom sexy lapdance music” ain't a good title. it's kinda attractive that he's not a music snob tho like he'd be blasting country music classics while cooking, rap mixtapes when he's taking a shower or full on broadway showtunes when driving, he also has a cute voice that cracks on higher notes but it secretly turns you on how deep in the moment he is while screaming to defying gravity in the car

levi gets a weird kick out of serial killer documentaries or real footage of their interviews/trials, also listens to A LOT of true crime podcasts and TAKES NOTES about the most interesting cases to check if he'd be able to solve the unsolved ones and he'd always test you as well? you'd be reading a book in bed and he'd plop next to you with a dead serious look on his face asking shit like “would you help some random guy with a cast on his arm carry his bags?” 🤨 out of the blue like ?????? baby that's kinda weird can you not but it's really just him trying to flex his big big brain thank fuck he's not an actual cop he'd be insufferable (and way less hot)

to absolutely no one's surprise reiner's guilty pleasure has to do with you, the man's all about you (and hockey), you've asked him to take a bath with you once and now not a single motherfucking week goes by without him looking at you big big puppy eyes asking “bath???” most evenings after work. it doesn't even have to lead to anything he's just content basking in warm water and bubbles with you in his lap, he gets to massage shampoo into your scalp if you want to wash your hair and is now a pro at creating the perfect atmosphere with oils and dimmed lights and omg don't even get me started on candles, he's memorized your favorite scents and now also has his own preferences, catch him walking around a yankee candle store at least twice a month, girls working there ask this big scary grumpy guy if he needs help and he'd reply with the softest most polite & specific hi hello yes actually i need to stock up on sparkling cinnamon and snow globe wonderland tyvm

porco 100% checks his naked self out in the mirror lmaooo i know this shouldn't count as something people wouldn't believe he'd do but it's kinda a guilty pleasure i guess??? he finds putting clothes on a lil depressing and knows he's hot. sometimes you'd catch him doing that after showering and the man would be so fucking thirsty for compliments cause what is he supposed to do with muscles and abs and prominent biceps if you won't drool over them a little? he's annoying & also gets soooo whiny if you don't indulge him like :( do you not think your dashing boyfriend is cute :( while flexing, also always tries to convince you to take your clothes off as well for “inspection purposes” to which you simply flick his forehead lol whether you end up pressed against that very mirror 10 minutes later it's between you and him xoxo

[novantinuum]

Which one is knowing, loving, being? Is that one about the blorbo Steven?

Yessss ahahah, this is the one with the Gem Steven design I won't shut up about on discord XD

(thank you for taking my bait and asking me about this fiUSHKFNSUGJH my evil plan worked)

E eeeeee *cracks knuckles* time to RAMBLE! I am so excited about this one, lmaooo. If you're wondering where all my "Crack the Paragon update progress" energy went these past few months, I am so sorry besties- but it got funneled to this project instead. I need to finish this goddamn fic by the end of the year like I need air.

The tl;dr of it all is that this story is my adult human!Steven/gem!Steven/Connie propaganda piece, and also a place to explore my personal take on how Steven works like,,, biologically,,, as a bizarre hybrid of two beings who are fused but also Not Really. Certainly not in the way fusion works for OTHER people.

Mind you, this fic is very NSFW, as will be the snippit I share- so the rest of my rambles will go under a cut. You have been warned.

Okay, so the broad strokes. This one's gonna be 4 chapters-

Chapter one will focus on a recently married 23 yr old Steven heading out to Rose's Room so he can work through some mental bullshit regarding the split he experienced as a kid. That trauma still lingers all these years later, and there's still so much he doesn't fully understand about... about what happened. About being outright cleaved in two. He ends up having the Room conjure a cloud version of his Gem half- the most unfamiliar and alien one of the two, to him- so he can try and talk out his confusions.

Chapter two features Steven nosediving into an obsession over an impulsive kiss he shared with that friggin' cloud version of his Gem half, and one thing kinda just leads to another, and well- said obsession ends with his component halves briefly split apart so they can fuckin' bang to work through whatever crunchy ass emotions they've got all stewed up in there. Progress wise, I am at this part of the fic right now, and I am having a lot of fun making this segment as "emotions and stimuli all mixed together" and intentionally confusing as I can. I am taking the depiction of "split POV" we had in Change Your Mind VERY seriously and literally, because I haven't seen too many writers dare to try.

Chapter three is mostly like, an interlude chapter- it's the aftermath of chapter two, where a confused and sheepish Steven opens up to his wife Connie about what he just experienced. In my head, my version of Steven is VERY demisexual, so he's like... just as "huh" as anyone else about what just took place. He and Connie talk shit out, and then Connie is basically like "baby. sweetheart. love of my life. why the HELL would you rip out your own gem like that, and MORE IMPORTANTLY, why would you ever do that when i'm not here to help you if things went wrong??" By the end of the convo though, Steven extends an open invitation for Connie to join in at some point and enjoy some intimacy as the three of them, both of his component halves and her.

Chapter four is entirely about that precise encounter, both the planning and the actual sex. The broad purpose I have in mind here is to showcase how such an encounter is something that's innately healing for them as a couple, in the way they get to re-contextualize this scenario in tones of love and trust and willful choice... as opposed to the horrid experience of being ripped apart by another's hand. I also just want them to get WEIRD about it, because like. Come on. Steven's half-alien. He (and the organic and Gem who combine to MAKE him) deserves to be weird about himself and the way he interacts with his own sexuality. And you just KNOW Connie would be into that. There is a lot of genital shapeshifting here, and they have a fucking great time.

I have overtly had the extremely general sketch of this idea floating around in my head since 2019, but never had the guts to actually tackle it until now. Now, though... I've actually gotten some practice with writing smut and feel confident in my ability to swing these scenes in the way I envision them, AND I finally have a circle of people who are down to talk about Steven being really goddamn weird about himself lmafo. Like, it's 2024, I'm allowed to ship selfcest if I want, fuck you.

But yes, chapter 1 is already done at 5.3K words, and I've got a solid 7.4K on chapter 2 (and rising.) For my actual WIP share, here is a snippit I recently wrote for chapter 4, working ahead a bit-

“So this is your idea of a big finale, huh?” he says with an impish smirk as he reads the last item on the list, a healthy dose of humor lightening his words. “Both of them fucking like rabid animals in heat as you merely lounge on the bed and watch?” “Oh, shut up,” she bites back, unable to even look her dear husband in the eye as she clunks her head down on the kitchen table, her cheeks burning like she’s destined to crumble to cinders amidst her own personal inferno of runaway lust. But Steven, damn that ridiculous man, won’t let her live this down. Ugh. Of course he wouldn’t. “Now, tell me… how long have you been secretly dreaming of this scenario?” She groans, mumbling her shameful little response straight into the table mat. “Only like… every other night since I saw you fall apart…” His rumbly chuckle— brimming with unquestioned warmth and just a tinge of bashfulness at the sheer risqué inanity of this never-before-spoken revelation— rings loud and clear, coating the whole room in its dense, chocolatey tenor. “What?” Connie whines as she snaps upright, her hands fidgeting on the table in the throes of such excruciating embarrassment. “What exactly’s so funny about that? I’m being very brave and vulnerable about this, you know!” He raises a placating hand, pushing himself through the final notes of his laughter before moving to respond. “Sorry, sorry, I promise I’m not making fun, it’s just— I guess you never really struck me as the, uh… the voyeuristic type?” “Does that… bother you?” she frowns, tilting her head a little. “The idea of me just… watching? I— it’s only a suggestion, we can always take it off, if you—” “No, I’m okay with it. Depending on how we set things up, I think it could be pretty hot. In fact…” Steven grabs for a pencil, and— waggling his eyebrows at her— begins to write one last line on their collective beat sheet. “I actually have a little idea of my own that I think would be fun to try out during this…”

[catchyhuh]

RANKED BY HOW SQUEAMISH THEY GET AROUND BLOOD

self explanatory baby let’s get into it. except it’s not totally self explanatory because this accidentally bled (haha get it) into an analysis about how they handle seeing death too. THIS ONE GOT WILD

WARNING!! we’re not going to get like, excessively detailed, but there will be discussions of. you know. death, blood, violence, what happens when human bodies are shot and stabbed and the other grotesque shit that happens to them in this series. stuff like that! we’re going to be getting into it quite a bit so heads up

goemon is easily the LEAST bothered by the sight of blood, or gore in any capacity. not to say he’s fully desensitized to it-- on an objective level, it bothers him, like it would anybody, to see some undeserving living creature torn up like that. but his method of. you know. HANDLING PROBLEMS is a little bit messier than a gunshot from afar, so he got used to grizzly sights pretty quickly, ones that he himself was responsible for or otherwise. you could show goemon some absolutely horrific, mangled shit, and his expression would hardly change. he’s not very proud of that fact but i guess in that sense it’s the one thing in his training that really, REALLY 100% never fails to pay off.

the only reason jigen is SLIGHTLY more bothered by it (just slightly) is because he usually only sees uh. gunshot wounds, like we said, whereas when goemon is done with some monster of the week or whatever THAT guy looks like he fell into a person-sized papershredder. unfortunately he. is a LITTLE desensitized to bullet wounds, not in a malicious way, but it just does not bother him like it should since he sees it so, SO much. goemon can easily place himself in the shoes of a bloody victim, but jigen just sees a dead body as. a body. THIS ONE IS REALLY GRUESOME NOW THAT I’M WRITING IT I’M GONNA GO BACK AND ADJUST THAT TW

and again, fujiko is only SLIGHTLY above jigen here, too. the only difference is that she, like goemon, sees the human behind the meat a bit too much, and certain sights are just a bit too much. jigen shuts down entirely, but fujiko stares with quiet shock. however, she’s never bothered by the result of her OWN carnage, you know? sometimes jigen or goemon take down a particular guy and they go “damn… rest in peace, sorry bastard” BUT NOT FUJIKO LMAOOO fujiko does not misfire. fujiko does not regret a single knife thrown, a single bullet shot. so the visual results of that mean like, nothing to her. idiot had it coming!

you’re probably picking up that these are very faint increments here, AND WE’RE NOT STOPPING BECAUSE LUPIN ALSO IS ONLY SLIGHTLY MORE SENSITIVE THAN FUJIKO HERE like fujiko he does not hesitate killing a motherfucker if he has to, but (you may have noticed this in canon too) he always feels a bit… weird about it. even if the opposition 100% had it coming, and then some, it’s not the act of their rightful death that bothers him, but the fact HE had to be the one to do it, that there is (literally sometimes) blood on his hands. out of the gang he’s always been the most staunchly anti-murder, to the point anyone can tell lupin’s alleged involvement in a crime is a lie if there are any murder victims, where the others… have never tried to say they’d never take a human life IT’S NOT FUNNY BUT. IT’S A BIT FUNNY. THE GUY LEADING THESE VIOLENT CRIMINALS DRAWS THE LINE AT MURDER sorry we’re getting off topic a smidge. the point is, lupin is the type of guy who kills only through necessity but also faints when he gets his blood drawn just because the sight of his OWN blood is so gross ew!

and then the most abnormal normal guy! everybody say hi zenigata! it’s no question that he’s got the lowest murder count, (i feel like, not counting manga stuff, he’s maybe indirectly killed two people max?) and also tends to be the most (reasonably) sensitive about horrible shit like this. it’s not that he’s some weak link who faints when somebody’s arm is broken so badly the bone is sticking out, like no question he could stare down some shit you and i would easily be (AGAIN, REASONABLY) horrified and left in shock by. it’s just that in comparison to the others and the others alone, he would be the only one to be visibly alarmed and pale upon seeing a body left mutilated and twisted to the point it doesn’t look human anymore. but yeah based on rule of funny he’d ALSO faint when you draw his blood. or he would if the needle could get through his impossibly thick skin. what’s this motherfucker made of honestly

[willowser]

the tag “he’s not having sex!!” is killing me im trying so hard to keep it together in this coffee shop rn trying not to cackle

also yeah dabi probably considered the time that you helped him take a fully clothed shower (because he wasnt comfortable at the moment even if he was by himself to be naked) to be third base. maybe even a home run idk

LMAOOO okay okay, not to get on a serious note, but your shower bit 🥺 i genuinely think dabi would be so, so fun for friends to lovers. because a totally platonic relationship with him must be hilarious; this man is a smart ass, okay? he will always have you cracking up. and i think if he views you as just some acquaintance of his, he's more prone to like. just chatting with you or shooting the shit or drinking or walking around at all hours of the night when neither of you can sleep. it's not until things start to get a little...softer, i think, that he pulls back—but that's what makes it so good !

because it could come out of nowhere, for either of you. one minute you're sharing a bottle in a brown paper bag under the bright city lights, talking shit about pro heroes, and the next—

"fuck, i'm freezing." you laugh as you say it, but your teeth won't stop chattering and your legs are starting to feel like they're made of lead. you have to come to a stop, leaning against some abandoned shop in this lesser part of town.

"should'a dressed right," dabi murmurs, having the audacity to tell you such a thing even though he's in pants with holes in the knees, without a jacket. already he sounds like he's sobering up, but you suppose he can't help it; his metabolism probably eats through everything.

"can't all be so h-hot-blooded."

tired, his mouth stretches in a lazy smirk, and he rolls his eyes like you're being dramatic—despite the fact that it's snowing. "ain't that bad."

you beg to differ. "feel my hands!"

he watches you carefully as you offer them, like he's putting too much thought into it, suddenly. it's not often that you two really touch, not if he can help it, because there's never been a need. not before now.

the facade of his nonchalance is readjusted, though there's a tension lining his mouth that you've never seen on him, not with you. he tucks the bag underneath his armpit so that he can use both his hands, and then he folds your fingers down into fists and covers them with his own.

entirely, the long and rough expanse of his palms dwarfing you. it's hot, immediately, and the sensation has you shuddering in relief, letting out a grateful little sound as your body sways closer to his on instinct. neither of you say anything, and you're too tipsy too notice the grit of his jaw or the bob of his adam's apple.

been a long time since he touched someone, just 'cause. with the intention of helping instead of harming.

you don't care, only let out another teeth chattering whine before pressing your cheek into the back of his hand. yours is icy, but his own heat at the sight of you nuzzling into him like a fucking kitten.

it's weird, but only lasts for a moment before you're pulling away and turning to wobble down the sidewalk, back in the direction of the hideout. you almost slip once and the screech you let out is enough to make you both laugh, for now—but neither of you will be able to sleep tonight without thinking about it, his skin against yours.

[five-by-five]

the psychs/nurses/etc i have to see during medical transition diagnosis are so fucking weird and misinformed im just gonna start listing shit they said because otherwise im gonna go insane

had to write a life story that THEY THEN READ OUT LOUD TO ME and started commenting on. which i guess is a basic thing which happens in more places. but on god them forcing you to write out childhood traumas and shit and then hearing some monotone richgirl read it in her faux snob accent (nederlanders die dit misschien lezen: ze had een zieke aangeleerde Gooische R) and then going "wow....heavy" without a shred of emotion is going to radicalise me

lead psychologist is two years younger than me. I am 26. at that age over here you're fresh out of psych master's degree. she is clearly and honestly inexperienced. why is she in charge of my diagnosis .

lead psychologist didn't believe i was working a fulltime job as a pharmacist... she looked me up on linkedin later, i saw it in my notifs

overall just assumptions that i want to ... dress more femininely once im further into my transition? they literally asked if i wanted to start wearing nail polish or some shit. like no? i am literally sitting across from them dressing traditionally masculine and passing and saying im comfortable with it???

"why didn't you just go on hormonal birth control if you hate your periods so much"

psych: "you should reconsider having your eggs frozen" me: "no <3 i do not want that. Also do you know what you have to inject in order to prime your body for the retrieval? (hormones that even make cis women who Actually Want Kids miserable?)" psych: "well i think you should reconsider anyway" -> i half contemplated walking out right then and there but i was paying €280 for that appointment and i cant switch psychs without being put on another waitlist so i had to smile and wave for it

"i don't think you're right about testosterone changing your chest" and she then deflected after i pointed out fat redistribution. girl WHAT

not a single word about bottom growth being a thing. literally zip. nada. it is an effect i am very much aware of and actively WANT but imagine being not super informed/preferring to get your info from your healthcare providers over google and encountering these people??? Lmaooo

nurse appt who was supposed to inform me about surgery (pre-intake) didn't know no-graft was a thing. didn't know how drains worked.

SHE ALSO SAID SHE DIDN'T THINK MY VOICE AND BODY HAIR WOULD CHANGE MUCH ON T WHICH LMAO. OKAY. OKAY. STAY TUNED LADS

[3vi3evie]

My idea of what the Arctic Monkeys albums mean

So idk if y’all already know this or I’m just reaching and I’m slowly going insane but ya. Also I’m basing this off of Alex Turner mainly.

Okay so

WPSIATWIN(2006)- Johanna Bennett 2005-2007

FWN(2007)- Johanna Bennett 2005-2007

Humbug(2009)- Alexa Chung 2007-2011

Suck it and See(2011)- Alexa Chung 2007-2011

AM(2013)-Arielle Vandenberg 2011-2014

Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino (2018)- Taylor Bagley 2015-2018

The Car(2022)- Louise Verneuil 2018-now

So like apparently Alex Turner cheated on Taylor with Louise. In the song “Body Paint” I think Alex is singing about someone cheating. This leads me to believe he wrote the album kinda about himself. This can also be backed up with the song “Mr. Schwartz” because “Schwartz” is German for someone with dark hair which describes him. In the song “I ain’t quite where I think I am” he says “And I can see both islands now” I think this refers to Louise and Taylor being the islands.

Tranquility base hotel and casino is very abstract. In the beginning I thought that this album didn’t really tell much of a story like their other albums so it really lead me to think Alex was using drugs of some sort after doing research on this topic. (I’m not trying to shame this like it’s ur body do what you want because I can’t change that). TBH&C is like another reality and Alex is trying to promote this world. In the song “Four out of five” he is saying that this “hotel” is four stars out of the five. If you look into the lyrics it kinda gets weird as well as “TBH&C”

“All the nights that never happened.And the days that don't exist.At the information action ratio.Only time that we stop laughing is to breathe or steal a kiss.I can get you on the list for all the clubs.I can lift you up another semitone”

“And do you celebrate your dark side.And then wish you'd never left the house?.Have you ever spent a generation.Trying to figure that one out?”

This reminds me of like the Cecil Hotel in California Los Angeles. Alex Turner did live in LA 2013-2020 I believe.

“I just wanted to be one of The Strokes. Now look at the mess you made me make.Hitchhiking with a monogrammed suitcase miles away from any half-useful imaginary highway.”

This opening to “Star Treatment” is saying how Alex Turner just wanted to be like The Strokes and that didn’t really work out but he can’t get away from this now. This idea is kinda also shown in “American Sports”.

“I lost the money, lost the keys,but I'm still handcuffed to the briefcase.”

I think he is trying to say he couldn’t keep up this reputation after the AM album because that’s really what they are most known for but it’s not them anymore but it will always be apart of their identity as a band. Also in the song “Big Ideas” from “The Car” album it says

“I had big ideas the band was so excited. The kind you'd rather not share over the phone. But now, the orchestra's got us all surrounded.And I cannot for the life of me remember how they go.”

So idk really what this is it’s probably a reach or something and don’t believe all this because it could be untrue. I know this is some Reddit ass shit but I don’t have Reddit lmaooo. Anyways bye bitch

[the-cult-of-riley]

Sleeping With Ghosts (Act One: Chapter Five)

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Female OC

[[Masterlist]]

A/N:

It’s so odd for me to write something other than a slow burn. Slow burns are what I’m known for and I’m demisexual so that's how I live my life lmaooo But with this story, it just worked out this way and Act Two is kinda a slow burn as they reconnect and shit? My other Ghost stories I’m working on are slow burns though. 

Placebo - I Feel You (Depeche Mode cover)

I feel you

Your sun, it shines

I feel you

Within my mind

You take me there

You take me where

The kingdom comes

You take me to

Lead me through

Babylon

This is the morning of our love

It's just the dawning of our love

I feel you

Your heart, it sings

I feel you

The joy it brings

Where heaven waits

These golden gates

And back again

You take me to

Lead me through

Oblivion

This is the morning of our love

It's just the dawning of our love

I feel you

Your precious soul

And I am whole

I feel you

Your rising sun

My kingdom comes

I feel you

Each move you make

I feel you

Each breath you take

Where angels sing

And spread their wings

My love's on high

You take me home

To glory's throne

By and by

This is the morning of our love

It's just the dawning of our love

This is the morning of our love

It's just the dawning of our love

I feel you

Your precious soul

And I am whole

I feel you

Your rising sun

My kingdom comes

It had been a Friday night when Simon had met Charlotte, Saturday when he’d gone to her place, threatened her ex and fucked her over the sink. They wound up spending the rest of Saturday in her bed, not being able to get enough of each other. The sensation was new to him, never one to even go back for seconds but he couldn’t get enough of her. He’d ended up staying Saturday night, waking on Sunday morning with her bundled in his arms. He found he liked it. 

He hadn't had nightmares once in her presence, something that confused him but he decided not to question. It was a relief and he’d never been so well rested, but now it was Sunday night and he knew he’d have to go soon. She'd casually mentioned earlier in the day that she had work the next day and he didn't think she’d want him loitering at her place when she wasn't even there. Wasn't like he was expecting to move in with her after knowing her for one weekend, but the idea of going back to his cold and lonely apartment made the beating lump of flesh in his chest turn to ice. 

The idea of sleeping without her warmth next to him, of waking alone. He felt like he'd been given a rare gift, something precious and now it was being torn from him. He knew he was being ridiculous but he couldn't help it. There was this weird level of uncertainty about what would happen when he left. Would he ever even see her again? He’d give her his number but would she use it? What if that was it? He’d given her what he promised to, what if she was bored? So many utterly depressing questions ran through his head as they sat side by side on the couch, the tv on. 

He wasn't paying attention though, too deep in his own mind to care about what bullshit they’d been watching to occupy time. It hadn’t felt awkward here with her at all, it all felt so normal, like they were meant to spend each waking moment with each other. It all felt so absurd and he wasn't really sure what to do with himself. He didn't want to leave, but he had to and if he was honest, he’d rather get it over and done with. The longer he dragged it out, the more likely it would be that he wouldn't leave and wind up making a right tit of himself. 

“I should get goin’,” he muttered, trying to sound unbothered as he glanced at her. He didn't miss how her brows furrowed when she looked at him, not even hiding her disappointment. It made the simmering pain in his chest dull a little. Maybe he wasn't the only one feeling this way. God he fucking hoped he wasn’t. She opened her mouth to say something but chose against it as she nodded, forcing a smile he didn't believe for one second as she stood up. Did she dread being away from him too?

“Will I… Will I see you again?” she asked quietly, her voice meeker than he’d ever heard it and it sent a shot of relief through him to know she wanted to see him again too. Poor thing looked at him like she was bracing herself for the worst. As if he’d tell her to go fuck herself or something. 

“Do you wanna see me again?” he asked, feeling like he knew the answer now but wanting confirmation. Her cheeks turned that pretty pink he was fond of as she glanced away, nibbling her lower lip. She looked so shy, timid, but then her bright eyes turned to him with resolve in them as she nodded. He couldn't help the smile that pulled at his lips. 

“Then you’ll see me again, love,” he murmured, tucking her hair behind her ear. She leaned into his touch and it made his heart beat all funny again. It did every time she responded to the smallest of touches he gave her. 

“I know it… it probably sounds really stupid ‘cause we met a few days ago but… I really like having you around,” she admitted, and his brows rose a little. He envied the balls she had on her to come out with that despite clearly feeling insecure, something he noticed seemed to run bone deep in her. He’d change that soon enough. But her words brought about a seering warmth that burned him from the inside out.

“I like havin’ you around too,” he confessed, eyeing her fondly as she smiled her pretty shy smile. Fuckin’ christ, she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever laid his fucking eyes on. He felt blessed just to look upon her, let alone touch her. 

She turned on her heel without a word and he watched curiously as she wandered over to the bedside table. She grabbed a phone he’d never seen her use, tapping on it for a moment before walking back over to him. She handed it to him with a sheepish smile and when he grabbed it, he noticed she had opened her contacts for him. He felt a pang of sadness in his chest when he saw the only contacts she had in her phone were Jessica, Ethan and her Boss Sylvie, who he only knew was her boss because it was in the contact name. She really had no one? She didn't have any of her family in her phone? 

His heart squeezed tightly as he tapped in his number and name. Deciding to take matters into his own hands and be a bit of a cheeky fucker, he went into her messages and opened a new message, sending himself a text of gibberish just so he had her number. That way he wouldn't have to wait for her to contact him first. It was bold but she just snorted, looking up at him with her bright blue eyes twinkling. 

“Don't trust that I’ll contact you?” she asked amused and he shrugged with a scoff.

“Not leavin’ anythin’ to chance,” he smirked and she laughed lightly. The sound filled up every empty crevice of his entire being and he soaked it in, wanting to memorise the sound before he left. He pocketed his phone, watching her chuck hers on the coffee table before he glanced toward the front door. It was already getting late and he knew he should leave her be so she could do whatever it was she needed to do for work the next day.

“Alright then, love,” he sighed, giving her a small smile. She nodded, walking to the front door and he followed. He lingered in the open doorway for a moment before he grabbed her hand and tugged her towards him. She yelped in surprise but it turned into a smile as she blinked up at him with those doe eyes. He leaned down, nuzzling her nose in that way he knew she liked before placing a soft kiss to her lips. 

He’d meant it to be tame, not wanting to start shit he couldn't finish before he had to leave, but then the minx slid her hands up his shirt, splaying them on his bare chest underneath as she deepened the kiss. He grabbed her face, plundering her mouth with his tongue as he tried to get every bit of her that he could like a greedy bastard. When he pulled away, she looked drunk almost and he loved that dazed look he could put on her face. 

“See you soon, yeah?” he rasped, voice hoarse as his eyes darted all over her face. 

“See you soon, Simon,” she smiled warmly at him, moving away from him and finally allowing him to tear himself away from her. He really, really didn't want to leave. He blew out a breath as he forced his legs to move, not able to look back at her as he descended the steps outside and into the alley way. 

As he made his way to the bus stop, he thought about the weekend he’d had. Hardly expected that, had he? A simple night at the pub with Tommy turned into something he wasn't quite prepared for. Charlotte had been a whirlwind that had torn through everything he thought he knew but he couldn't find himself bothered about it. It was a little scary, being so uncertain about things, feeling things he wasn't used to, but he wouldn't change anything. 

Was this what it was like to meet someone you cared about? Had Tommy felt this way when he’d met Beth? It all felt so surreal. God only knew how Tommy would react when he found out, Simon wasn't sure if he was ready to tell his brother yet. He was excited, wanting to gush about the crazy little brunette he’d met that had upended his entire world, but it still felt too soon. Still felt so fragile, like a small breeze would make it dissipate. He didn't want to get too invested, didn't want to tell his brother just yet because that meant it meant something. And if this didn't work out, if she got sick of him after a week which he wouldn't bloody blame her for, then he wasn't sure he could cope with other people knowing about it. She’d be his little secret for now and he’d see where the hell this thing went. 

When he got back to his place, the quiet grated on him and he clenched his jaw, huffing as he slammed his door shut. He could still smell her perfume lingering in the apartment and as he stomped to the bedroom, the bed was still unmade, rumpled from where they both got out of bed on Saturday morning. It was unfair to miss someone he hadn’t known that long and yet he felt the ache down to his fucking bone marrow. 

He set his phone on the nightstand, willing himself to not text so soon, lest he look like a desperate fool and probably scare her off. He settled on having a scalding hot shower to try and melt his tension away. It took him about half an hour before he got bored and felt no better. Padding out of the bathroom, he went back to his bedroom, grabbing some clean sweats and putting them on, not bothering with a top before he turned the tv on in his room. He never liked sleeping in the quiet and on bad nights, he’d put on the tv at a low volume just to have some noise in the background. He lay on the bed before he caved and grabbed his phone and he was surprised to see a message already waiting for him off Charlotte.

'Missing you already <3'

Before he knew what was happening, he realised he was smiling like a fucking idiot. It was such an odd sensation for him to smile so wide. He was never much of a smiler, nor a laugher. As he got older, beat the shit out of his dad and kicked him out, he found himself smiling more. Found himself a little more relaxed than he had been when he was younger and scared. Found himself laughing with Tommy, with Beth, even his mum. But nothing was quite the same as the level of warmth plaguing his chest right now looking at such a simple text. 

He felt… happy. Genuinely happy and not the fleeting kind that would happen when someone told a stupid joke or he watched something that amused him. It was a kind of happiness he’d never experienced before and he was helpless to stop it. How fucking terrifying was it, then? Getting so attached to someone you only knew for a few days. Was proper mental is what it was and he knew it. Happiness was a weakness. It allowed yourself to be open to get hurt, gave you a big gaping weak point that could be pressed and abused. Yet when he thought of the pretty girl with the dark hair and bright eyes, the fear was outshone by another feeling. A blooming excitement that made him tingle all the way down to his toes. Not the horny kind either, although he couldn't wait to get his hands on her again, but he was just excited to see her again. Was excited to hear her laugh, to see her beautiful smile, to hear her cheeky comments when she had a surge of confidence. There was just something about her that made him gravitate towards her, like she was a magnificent planet and he was her moon. He was pulled into her orbit and he couldn't get away even if he wanted to. 

He pursed his lips for a moment, eyes reading and rereading the message over and over as if he’d find the secrets of the universe in the letters. He realised then that she’d sent it over twenty minutes ago and he felt a jolt of guilt at making her wait. Hell, if he’d had the balls to text her first and had to wait that long he was pretty sure he’d be climbing the fucking walls. Part of him felt so unsure of himself in this new territory, he wasn't used to this. Fucking texting a girl, hoping to see her again. On one hand he was scared of putting her off, scaring her away if he was too much. But then what if he wasn't enough? She’d made her interest clear, been open and honest with him like the angel she was. She wasn't leaving him second guessing that she wanted to see him again and he decided to pull deep inside himself for some confidence. If she was brave enough to admit it, then he could fucking text her and be honest.

'Miss you too. Going to sleep without you isn't quite the same'

Before he could overthink it, he hit send, locking his phone and resting it face down on his bare chest. He blinked tiredly at the ceiling, the shadows cast from the TV dancing across the cream expanse. He always felt out of sorts when he was on leave, never really knew what to do with himself. He spent a lot of time working out, refusing to let his body go, needed to be in tip top condition for when he went back. But he didn't have a job when he was on leave, didn't really have anyone to spend it with. He’d see Tommy when he could, even popped around to see Beth sometimes when Tommy was working, or his mum. Other than that, his days were spent doing little else but wasting away alone in his apartment. 

He wondered how Charlotte would react if he turned up at her work one day for lunch. Wondered if she had a little uniform or not. Wondered if she’d treat him the same as all the other customers or give him a little extra treatment. He wondered when her days off were, if it was just the weekend or if it was some kind of rota. Wondered when he’d get to spend a whole day and night with her again. He was broken from his thoughts when his phone buzzed on his chest. He tried to temper down the excitement buzzing under his skin as he unlocked it. 

'I should have locked you in, then you'd have no choice to stay. I’d employ you as my own personal teddy bear but I could only pay you in bacon butties '

Something fluttered in his stomach as he read it, that smirk still pulling at his lips as if they'd been threaded with string and a puppet master was toying with him. She'd wanted him to stay. Should he have left? He could have just stayed again, maybe get up with her in the morning and gone home. He cursed himself for jumping the gun like he had, worried he'd be in her way and annoy her. 

If anyone else had called him a teddy bear, he might have wanted to deck them, but this was Charlotte and he found a pleasant warmth enveloping him. If she wanted him to be her teddy bear, he'd gladly do it. He'd be anything she fucking wanted him to be as long as she smiled at him like she did. As long as she made him feel like he mattered. That he meant something. 

'Wouldn't have protested too much if you wanted to keep me prisoner, love. Although payment in bacon butties doesn't sound bad, don't think it could count as payment if I've got to make them myself'

When he sent the message, he turned over on his side feeling his eyes getting heavy. He forced them to stay awake though, not wanting to miss a reply. His sleep schedule was usually pretty solid, wanting to keep it strict so it wasn't so jarring when he went back to work. He didn't really do late nights often since he was always up at 6am at the latest to start his morning workout. The routine has been disrupted this past weekend and he found tiredness settling deep in his bones. His phone buzzed in his hand and he blinked rapidly to clear the sleepiness out of his eyes.

'You can't offer to make bacon butties just to throw it in my face, sir. That's an incredibly unkind thing to do to a lady'

'You're a lady?'

' :o fine, maybe I'll just be really busy when you want to meet up. Maybe I should be someone's else's good girl instead…'

He knew she was pressing his buttons on purpose, bantering with him, but he still felt something run right through him that burned red hot in his veins. Before he could process what his tired brain was doing, he hit call. It only rang once before she picked up. 

“Hello, Simon,” he could hear the smile on her voice and she sounded adorably sleepy. He could just picture her wrapped up like a little burrito in bed, her cherubic face poking out the quilt. He longed to be there to witness it. 

“Tryin’ to wind me up, sweetheart?” He rasped, his tired voice sounding even lower than usual. She hummed softly down the phone and the noise soothed something in him. 

“Is it working?” She asked cheekily and he chuckled, moving to lay on his back. His eyes traced the ceiling, looking at the spot where the paint was peeling slightly. He hadn't cared enough to fix it. 

“What do you think?” He asked sarcastically and she snorted down the line. 

“Glad to know it's so easy to push your buttons. You shouldn't worry though, I'm you're good girl,” he could hear her fucking smirk through the phone and he groaned, throwing his spare arm over his eyes.

“You're evil, you know that? I'm too fuckin' tired to deal with a stiffy right now,” he huffed, willing his dick to calm itself before it got too excited. 

“Well… if I was there I could have dealt with it for you,” she replied easily and he almost whined. Almost. 

“You sound knackered, love. Don't think you'd be in any state to deal with anythin’,” he remarked dryly and her pretty little laugh floated through the phone and it didn't help his current situation. 

“Guess you're right. But I could just lay there and let you do all the work. Let you use my body, take what you want from me,” she seemed bolder when she was tired, or maybe this was just how she was. Shy one minute, a brazen minx the next. Either way, her words affected him more than he'd like to admit. Wasn't sure if that made him a bit sick in the head to get off on the idea. Of holding her down and using her pretty little body for his own pleasure. He did enjoy the thought though, very much so. But then again, she must have too or she wouldn't have said it with that silky soft tone. 

“You like that idea, sweetheart?” He drawled, his breathing heavy as he tried to ignore the heat stirring in his lower belly. Tired to ignore the ache of his cock that had been spoiled this weekend and now felt neglected. He really was too tired to deal with it. He heard her little sharp intake of breath, could picture her cheeks all pink and pretty for him. Her wide eyes, bright blue hidden by the black of her pupils as they overtook them. 

“Maybe…” she replied, now sounding shy again. Had she realised the dirty little secret she shared with him in her sleepy state? He stored that information away for another time. 

“You should get some rest, Lottie. You'll be dead on your feet in the mornin’,” he murmured softly. He didn't want her to be tired at work. She let out a little noise, a mix between a hum and a whine, telling him she didn't want to end the call as much as he didn't. It soothed something in him to know she was in the same boat as him. Made the whole experience a little less scary. 

“I guess,” was she pouting? Sounded like she was. 

“Get some good rest, yeah?” He sighed, not liking the painful tugging in his chest at the idea of hanging up. 

“I'll try, you too. Goodnight, Simon,” she said softly.

“Goodnight, love,” he replied before forcing himself to hang up. He didn't want to become one of those couples that did the whole ‘no you hang up’ bullshit, but he was starting to understand it. Starting to understand all the stupid shit he'd been forced to witness when Beth or his mum had a fucking romcom on. Not that he and Charlotte were a couple anyway, not yet at least. He'd never had a girlfriend before and the idea of having someone to call his own was a foreign concept. He'd never really desired it until now, but he wanted her, wanted her completely, wanted her to be his. 

She was driving him fucking mad. Like some kind of siren, luring him to a rocky death with her enticing call that he was powerless against. In a few short days she'd managed to worm her way through a crack in his walls, taking up residence in his hollow chest and warming it up in ways he didn't think possible. He was well and truly fucked. A realisation that was only solidified when he woke up the next morning to a mess in his bed after he'd rut against the mattress in his sleep. 

It was Wednesday. It had been three days since he’d seen Charlotte but the pair had established a routine. They text each other throughout the day, although Charlotte’s responses were a bit sparse and unpredictable. She wasn't allowed her phone at work so she snuck a text to him when she got the chance and he was grateful. When she’d get in bed, knackered from a hard day's work, she’d give him a call. He enjoyed their little chats as they got to know each other better. All surface level stuff really, but it kept it safe. 

He’d got to know quite a bit about her. Favourite colour was sage green and she loved earthy tones. She loved to read, her favourite being Grimm’s fairy tales. She’d briefly mentioned how she’d used it as an escape after stealing the book from the library when she was young. When he’d try to pry for more info, she’d clammed up and he realised her past was a sore spot. He knew that all too well. 

Found out she loved Italian food, bolognese being her favourite. She loved to make art in her spare time and had designed all her own tattoos herself. She told him she’d recently got a tablet and was doing digital art and she liked it better, was able to correct mistakes a lot easier and had every colour at her fingertips, she’d said. Her favourite bands were Placebo and Nine Inch Nails, the former being the ones to own the quote inked on the inside of her left arm. 

She loved plants but struggled to keep them alive, she’d called herself a well meaning plant killer and it had made him laugh. She said that's why she stuck to succulents, she was less likely to murder them. She had a thing for the weird and macabre, collecting oddities and curiosities like taxidermy shit. He felt like he was collecting little fragments of her, tiny puzzle pieces to make up the bigger picture of who she was. He adored hearing her ramble about the things she was passionate about. 

He’d been itching to see her again, but everytime he worked up the courage to ask about seeing her at work or after work one day, he wound up not saying anything when he heard how tired the poor girl was from work. He didn't want to bother her, yet waiting for weekend was dragging painfully slow. He only had until Sunday before his two week leave was over, then he’d be back on base. Usually he stayed there at the barracks since he didn't really have a reason not to. He only really used his apartment when he was on leave if he was honest, but now, feeling like he had something worth coming back for, he wondered if that would change. 

Fulwood Base was in Preston, 45 minutes away on the train from his place. It had never been worth the effort to come home when he was done at 5pm everyday or on weekends when he was off so he’d usually stay in his assigned room, just hang out on base. He couldn't imagine that now and he was just glad his base wasn't even further away. It wouldn't be hard to get the train back to Manchester when he wanted to see Charlotte and he knew he’d be staying home on the weekends now. Unless he was at hers.

He couldn’t stop thinking about her, couldn’t get her out of his fucking brain like a worm that had eaten its way through his grey matter to take residence in his skull. Three days was far too long for his liking so he decided to make an executive decision. He was going to visit her at work. Wasn't like he had anything else better to do anyway other than sit around and be bored and lonely. He figured mooching around town wouldn’t hurt him, look around the shops a bit since his mum's birthday was coming up and then grab a bite to eat at the Cafe where she worked. He was a little nervous about how she'd react to seeing him but he was a brave man, he was in the army for fuck sake, he could do this. 

He had a small bag in his hand from Warren James, got his mother a nice silver bracelet. He’d also ordered a cooking set, a bunch of pans and shit that she’d had her eye on from Argos. He wanted to get her more but the woman didn't really want for much. He eyed the door to the Cafe, watching some people eat and drink at the tables outside before he looked back at the door. He’d never been inside, wasn’t sure what to expect as he pushed open the door. It turned out a lot nicer than what he thought, nicer than the typical cafe he’d been to now and again. There was a small area on the level you walked in on with tables all full, then there were about six steps to take you up to the main area. Looked more like a restaurant than a cafe in his opinion. 

He trudged his way up the stairs, eyes darting around as he looked for Lottie, but he couldn’t see her as he moved to sit at a small table in the corner. He watched as other servers all bustled about, all dressed in black pants and a black button up shirt. he presumed it was the uniform. He fidgeted with the menu in his hands, not really paying attention as he desperately tried to find her. She came out the back then, a smile on her face as she expertly manoeuvred around the tables with two large plates balanced in her hands. She had the uniform on and her hair was in two plaits either side of her head with a few stray bits framing her face. She was fucking beautiful. 

She stopped at a table with an elderly couple on it, too far to hear what she said but close enough to see her pretty smile as she spoke to them. She looked up then, as if some gravitational pull was tugging at her, and when her eyes met his, she froze for a moment. Dread seized him, wondering if he’d made a mistake, wondering if he’d crossed a line, but then a blinding smile took over her face and she practically bounced her way over like a kid excited on christmas. 

“Hello there, sir. What can I get you today?” she asked brightly, a cheeky smile on her face that made him feel all hot from the inside out. 

“Not really sure, any recommendations?” he asked with a raised brow. He didn't think it possible but she seemed to smile harder as she leaned her hands on his table, lowering her head down to him a little.

“I hear the Charlotte’s pretty tasty,” she smirked and he almost choked on his own breath at her remark, chuckling as he tilted his head at her. Cheeky little thing she was, he loved it.

“Is that right?” he drawled and her eyes twinkled mischievously. She leaned in, surprising him with a kiss. He hadn't expected any PDA, was never really a fan of it but he didn't even know what they were. A one night stand that wouldn't end? Friends with benefits? It was all too soon to tell so he hadn’t expected her to kiss him in her work place like this. Like she wasn't embarrassed to be around a man like him. Like she wanted to show him off. And fuck, he didn’t mind one bit. 

He grabbed her face before she could pull away, kissing her deeply and allowing himself to taste her, explore her mouth as he’d missed her these past few days. When she pulled away, she looked dazed and cleared her throat with pink cheeks. Almost done him in when she bit down on her lower lip, looking at him through her lashes like some demure little bird. She was lucky he didn’t bend her over the fucking table and take her for everyone to see when she was playing coy like this. 

She moved to plonk on the seat in front of him then, giving him a little smile.

“In all seriousness, you’d like the steak if you're hungry. If not, the sandwiches are good for lunch. It's all pretty good,” she shrugged, resting her chin on her hand as she fluttered her lashes at him. She looked so happy to see him and it warmed his dead heart. 

“I’ll have the steak then, love. And a coke,” he nodded and she grinned, grabbing her pad from her breast pocket and scribbling the order down. 

“I’ll be back in a minute,” she smiled, jumping from her seat and hurrying into the back. 

He felt far more relaxed now, knowing she wanted him here, that she didn't have a problem with it. It made him feel better that he could drop in and see her when he wanted. The kiss had made it all well worth it. She came back out after a few minutes and he watched her flit around behind the counter, grabbing a can of coke out of the fridge and then pouring it into a glass with ice. She wandered over, glass in one hand, cutlery in the other and she set it all out in front of him. When she was done, she hovered next to him for a moment as she toyed with her hands.

“Do you wanna see a movie this Saturday?” she blurted and it caught him off guard. Was she asking him on a date? If she was, that was embarrassing, he was the one who was supposed to ask her. Seemed she had more balls than him once again. 

“What movie?” he asked, cringing internally. He had no idea why he’d fucking asked ‘cause it didn’t really matter, did it? She could ask him to watch a sickening romance movie with her and he’d do it with a smile on his face if it meant he got to spend time with her. She shifted on her feet and chewed on her lower lip.

“Final Destination 3 is coming out and I really wanna see it,” she shrugged, trying to act like she wasn't fussed but the blush on her cheeks told him otherwise. He’d never seen the movies but he knew about them. Shouldn't have been surprised she liked scary movies, although he was sure they wouldn't be his idea of scary.

“I’d uh… I‘d like that,” he admitted and instantly, her face lit up like the sun on a rainy day and he felt like he was free falling. 

“Great! I’ll check the times and stuff and let you know,” she beamed and he nodded, excitement curling low in his belly at the idea of going out with her.

“We could get food after… if you wanted,” he suggested and she nodded eagerly.

“Sounds like a plan to me,” she grinned.

“Charlotte!” The pair looked over as an older woman looked at her expectantly and Charlotte blew out a sigh, practically pouting at him.

“Gotta get back to work. I’ll bring your food out when it's done and don’t leave without saying bye, yeah?” she asked hopefully.

“Wouldn't dream of it, love,” he replied with an easy smile and she bit her lower lip with a smile before flitting off. He couldn’t help but watch every time she floated around the place, giving out food, taking orders, tidying tables. It didn't take too long before she made her way over to him with a large plate in her hands.

“Here you go, one steak,” she set it down in front of him. It looked fucking delicious and his mouth watered at the sight, his hunger making itself known tenfold. 

“Thanks, sweetheart,” he smiled up at her, making her smile back.

“You're very welcome,” she grinned before she was off again. 

He enjoyed his food, devouring it in a way that would put Charlotte to shame when she ate his bacon butties. Was one of the best steaks he’d ever fucking had and he made a note he needed to come here more often, not just for his girl. He was absolutely stuffed and leaned back in his chair, once again watching her easily move through the place. When she caught his eye, he gestured with his head and she hurried over to him.

“Take it you enjoyed it then?” she asked with a knowing smirk as she eyed his very empty plate.

“Was delicious. Compliments to the chef,” he murmured and she smiled to herself.

“I’ll let him know. He doesn’t get people bothering to thank him often so he’ll appreciate it. I’ll grab your bill for you,” she was off again with his plate and he watched her go behind the counter, grabbing his order ticket from where it was pinned up. She grabbed a pen from the counter and scribbled something onto it before making her way over. She set the receipt down on a tiny little plate and he picked it up, snorting a laugh as he read her little scribble.

‘Taste of Charlotte - £0 ;)’

Reading the total on the receipt, he grabbed the money from his wallet, making sure to leave her a tip as he put the money on the plate. He pocketed the receipt as he stood from his chair, grabbing the bag of jewellery that had been by his feet. Charlotte blinked up at him now he was towering over her and she gave him a pretty smile. He used his spare hand to cup her cheek and her eyes fluttered closed as he leaned down, his mouth brushing her ear.

“Hopefully I’ll get a better taste this Saturday, yeah?” he purred and smirked at her sharp intake of breath. He moved away just enough to eye her, watching how she flushed a deep pink, how her pupils dilated. Such a responsive little thing she was. 

He leaned in, capturing her lips without care for the audience. He couldn't help it, no one else mattered but her. She clutched his shirt, pressing herself closer to him as she kissed him back greedily and he had to hold back a moan, reminding himself they were in fact in public. At her place of work no less. He forced himself to pull away, didn't fancy having blue balls until this weekend. He had to wind his fucking neck in. She hummed softly, blinking those dazed eyes at him with a smile painted on her lips.

“Can I still call you later?” she asked and he tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

“Be disappointed if you didn't, love,” he replied, stroking her cheek with his thumb before he reluctantly pulled away. 

“Talk to you later then,” she smiled and he nodded, pressing his lips to her forehead for good measure before he forced himself to leave. 

He felt an odd mix of feelings as he left the building. The same heaviness he felt the last time he’d left her, that crippling loneliness suddenly seizing him in a choke hold, but then there was excitement for what was to come. She wanted to see him again, asked him out. It felt like maybe it could go somewhere. that maybe it could be more than whatever this limbo was they were in currently. He felt like someone different, a wholly new man as he walked down the street with a stupid smile playing on his lips. He didn’t know who he was but he sure as shit didn’t feel like Simon fucking Riley.

[miraofhearts2point0]

reason for me abandoning the aib fandom: an in-depth explaination, just bc i havent actually elaborated a whole lot.

(copy and pasted from a moot on tt asking me about it)

the way the aib fandom treats women has always been so weird to me. like they pride themselves having strong female leads but then proceed to either put them against each other, or ignore them entirely in order to boost up a man.

i see it most often with Lisa/Q♤, Usagi, Heiya and Arisu, which is so, so weird bc it misses the point of all their arcs when certain people make "WOMAN VS WOMAN" edits when it's only comparing their relationship with Arisu, if that makes sense.

not to mention the direction the writing took during s2 just seems off too. it was already weird during s1, since they completely changed Shibuki's character, but they did something similar with Heiya. both Shibuki and Heiya had openly expressed their sexuality in the manga without being demonized, and the adap writers saw that, and immediately ran with "oh, they have to force it on the men around them then." because obviously women are either evil for it or only exist for mens pleasure.

also the constant criticism toward the female characters from the fandom is so odd too. it's like none of them can exist without their relationship with a male character (Shibuki = Chota, Heiya = Aguni/Arisu, Usagi = Arisu, Mira = Arisu, Kuina = Chishiya, etc).

it's like none of them can exist as their own people to the fandom which is so fucking demeaning.

and thats only the misogyny; the ableism, homophobia, racism, transphobia and fetishization are all other reasons i left, but thats it's own rabbithole i think.

so yeah, mostly bc of misogyny lol.

------

i am coming back (as of now), but thats bc theres like no one active anymore and it's boring LMAOOO. just know you will be blocked if you speak about any of the women of aib negatively and im so serious.

the men can run around doing whatever the fuck but as soon as a teenage girl is hypersexual shit is just nawwttt okay for whatever reason. (well, we know the reason) (see what i had said previously)

[almalvo]

STAR TREK: DISCOVERY | S1E3 "Context Is For Kings"

[I will react to each episode individually and in full, raw reception and then post as is unrevised here onto my tumblr for the full span of every and all NuTrek episodes and series that have been and will be released. If this falls under your field of interest - I welcome your company in joining me. Enjoy the ride.] -------

Rated "mature" huh. [suspicious face] man seeing the starfleet symbol ugh man look outside its so pretty i love the colours i keep saying this but i looooove the colourssss ugh these effects are so are SOOO whoa nice suit on the pilot the filming style is odd in DISCO pacing wise rn still but whats cool is it no longer feels like that almost stagnant "another day in star trek" type feeling. everything feels very specialised episode by episode - very "limited series" - cuz it is. what ship is this it looks kinda like an idic pin from underneath NCC OH SHIT ITS THE SHIPPPPPP OHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKK THIS IS DISCOVERY?!!?!??!?!??! OH MFUCK ITS NAME IS AFTER A SHIP YEAH OK DUH BUT ALSO WHAT THE FUCK ugh this intro listen youll read this probably the next 50 times over how i just gawk at the everything that im eating right now with my eyeballs the Discovery ship has such an odd shape no but its literally IDIC the ship but also its SOOO cool to see the evolution of the ship designs until we land at the PERFECT ratio of NCC-1701 Enterprise.

fuck that just made me think - oh SHIT---

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh who HO\ WHO WHO LEADS THIS SHIP WHO WHOOOOOOOOOO LEEEAAAAAAADS THHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS SHHSHSIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP whoa eyes with pretty reflection/not reflection nvm who is this????????? gabriel lorca? ok sry not to be underwhelmed but i am too eager its my fault alright mr. lorca - lets see what you about. i have never seen someone just eat fortune cookies like an everyday snack in a wooden bowl. discovery has a very interesting feeling, more..

door just shut in her face wow WHO ELSE IS ON THIS MASSIVE SHIP THOUGH NO NO NO ALSO ITS A FUCKING SCIENCE VESSEL. SCIENCE. VESSEL. SCIENCE. Whos this lady? aw she seems cute sylvia tilly? aw poor gal id shake her hand yo i like these beds mickey nah nahhh no thanks sylvia. sylvia. listen. dont be weird now. black alert. intersting what the hell ? its so PRETTY THOUGH whoaaaaa WHAOSSSS WHOAAA yeah no WHAT the hell IS going on on this ship please do tell??? new replicator hi saruuuu he is very fitting as first officer what are you eating? hahahahahhahha wow they nailed that one blueberries huh yeahhhh not me thinkin he eating larvae or somethin nope no sirrr i like the bowl hes eats from from though ugh hes so TALLLLL hes such a nice stick

idk why the title image of this show with burnham giving the vulcan salute only NOW is hitting me with its potential significance

fearing a black woman huh idk bruh come on now star trek not today bro not today

stamets why does this name sound familiar tf is this so fuckin weird though must we be so discriminatory tho lmao this stamets? whats this sparkle wahts happening stamets are you gay sir are you gay damn sir wonder what you gon do also burnham giving the vulcan brow ugh itll be so cool to have holographic text though? man how can we get that to work without a backlight of aerosol straal? straal and stamets. excuse me. ARE YALL LOVERS ??? ARE YALL A'LOVIN??? KISSY KISSY? YALL BOYFREEENNNNS??? lurkers lol ok. lurker such a fuckin nerdy word lmaooo stamets and straal huh. i got my EYES on you ew also give me that starfleet towel WHERE ARE YOU BURNHAM THIS LOOKS SO FUCKING BEUATIFUL OH MY GOD I HAVE ENVISIONED SOMETHING SO MUCH LIKE THIS ONBOARD STARFLEET SHIPS LIKE WE ALL HAVE OH MY GOD that put a chilll through my spine in a wonderful way

lorca has a mouth and rbf eyes like Homelander his face kind of reminds me of homelander lmaoo hi sylvia yall need to smile a bit mroe lol you better apologise the green screening is almost perfect but the border is still there the border of sylvias face against the greenscreen behidn the glass is too hard when its blue outside when irl the face woul have a light that really diffuses about the curfature of her face anwyays astromycologist fascinating. i like what hes talking about though tickles the science degree in me hahaha man what is this research im so curious what project is lorca up to? ugh so juicy im SOOO curious ugh shuttlepod looks fucking sexy. alright whos gonna die in here. whos the redshirt in this away party. whoaaa the mangling is nicee WHAT WAS THAT oml star trek horror though is SUCH a grand idea fuckkkk meeeee bruh this deadspace or what no lie i like the OG bat'leth design more of the blades splayed INWARDS than out

thats big bruh this is liteally deadspace its not gorn in here right lol its not right idk gorn gorn. gorn can do this right thats the first thing i thought when i saw any of this damage. sylvia you brave owowowoww NEVER MIND WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT someone give me a star trek indie horror game RIGHT NOW DO IT ill fucking do it if no one does ill fucking DO IT. oop well guess we know who the redshirt is. broo the way their bodies are twisted like that is wickedddd i dont think ive seen bodies STRETCHED and wrung like a towel before stamets is so calm he dont give no fuck. stamets my man what have you BEEN through?

big space mole looks like a fuckin cow-size tardigrade JEFFERIES TUUUUUBEEE burnham's composure is crazy ugh she recitin what? it better not be another "literary classic" bullshit. this is literally a giant tardigrade. ugh look at the bridgee i love this shot from the outside in why it blurry at the end tho ay ooo who this freeza droid XD GIVE ME THOSE BOOTS YO i want my room to be the bridge oh my god if i had money id remodel my house and make my room the bridge the viewscreen would be my personal theatre fucking bigass monitor projection did I hear that--- TRI TRIBBBLEEEEE EAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAA THAT IS A FUCKINGGGG TRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ONNNNNNNNNNN HIIIIIIS DESSSSSSSSSSKKKKKKK they really are just having this conversation with a tribble just chillin on his desk son. i knew that sound anywhere oh my god GIVE ME ONE RIGHT NWO GIVE ME A BLACK ONE RIGHT NOW.

FUCK. bye tribbleee oooo in-ship transport what is this box what is the research what the fuck is happening. that is so pretty ohh intersting organic propulsion this is fascinaatingggg oh i really like this lorca has great delivery i BELIEVE in his role god the magic of masterful actors. love it WHOA THIS IS TOO FUCKING BEAUTLFUL NOOOOOO TAKE ME AWAYYYYY oh i love this pacing just now this whole scene was so good im so enamoured right now ugh its so nice to see creative cinematography why the tendrils on saru though what purpose do they serve wtf man wonder if we gon have more that typical star trek alien sexy-time lmaooooo ugh alice in wonderland really when we done with this shit :/ sylvia you wanna be captain? u know what - maybe you might be. if you dont die getting there. (you didnt hear that from me ahurghurghurgunrguhg-)

FOSTER FOSTER MOM AND HER SON??? YOU GREW UP WITH SPOCK????? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK WHYYYYYYYYYY HOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU TELLIN ME BURNHAM IS KIRK'S SISTER IN LAW GET THE FUCK OUT

imn losin it whoa dead spcimens who whats in ITS THE GIANT TARDIGRADE sir you did this on purpose what you plannin lorca whats your grand design ughhh the scale of this ship though ugh EAT ME UP no i like that scene a lot though the one with cap lorca talking to burnham in the box - please intellectual star trek lore on mainstream play with modern techonological representation PLEASE oh im so intriguedddddddd.

bring it the fuck on.

kirk's sister in law, what even the fuck--

[ultfreakme]

Hi.....Do you mind if I ask you some random thing? I used to love shounen and shoujo manga equally....But ever since I found BL manga 3 years ago, my interest in shoujosei (especially het romance) decrese a lot, and what I search for is just the dynamic between mc (male) and male lead...I don't want to read mc (female) and male lead or mc (male) and female lead...And what I want to read mostly are just mlm or wlw stories....

What do you think is happening to me? Is it really weird?

I don't mind at all go ahead with random asks(as long as it's not about my personal life or anything I'm chill most of the time)!!

I remember this happening to me when I was a wee lass about 607 years ago when I discovered BL/GL not straight content. I just fully stopped consuming shojo and josei. I don't think it's weird, I've seen a lot of people say that they exclusively read and watch BL stuff. Nothing strange is happening to you(I remember feeling like that as a kid), it might be a shift in the perspective of storytelling. Or, lbr, the hot boys are being hot and the cute boys are being cute without any misogyny being shoved in our faces all the time so it's fun.

From my experience, I think I made the switch because I found a lot of BLs to be way less toxic solely because there wasn't a female character to impose dumb misogynistic hetero-conforming stereotypes on. I think about 70% of the shojo manga I read was very toxic and I read them when I was in middle school and high school with no ability to parse that what's right in fiction isn't good in real life. Shojo mangas were fun because I used to like romance, and a lot of the stories were about normal or 'ugly' girls finding their perfect prince charming bad boy, becoming beautiful and living happily ever after.

It was wish fulfillment, self-insert a lot of the time, and I wanted what the MC female characters had because apprently getting a hot boyfriend and getting pretty was the key to happiness. Except....as I grew up I realized the perfect love interest guys are actually all weird af. Shojo mangas often reinforce a lot of heterosexual ideas. Like a boy being mean to a girl is romantic interest, losing your virginity is a big special thing, that you just have to dress prettier and wear makeup and have a glo-up otherwise your life will remain shit(oh you glasses-wearing HEATHEN lmaooo). Something in my brain went, "this is what i want? this strange song and dance of tolerating bad behaviour and changing myself entirely is what I should do?". The happy ending was also always a wedding, pregnancy and having two kids(which fucking terrified me). And so, shojo and josei fully lost their appeal.

BL and GL though......there is no self-insert, there is no heterosexual gendered biases coming into play. The couples are made to stand on equal footing without anyone going "you're a girl so I'll protect you" or "you're a guy so I'll take care of you and cook for you" or whatever. I'm not a guy, so all my irl issues are FULLY detached and irrelevant in BL stories. Also I discovered around the same time I was bisexual/pansexual/some fucking queer thing. And around this time, BL webtoons were so different with their plots like I got romance + fantasy settings or sci-fi settings or crime dramas etc. I haven't read many GL, Tamen De Gushi and The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy At All are the more prominent ones I remember, I think for GL i usually consume western media so I can't say much on GL manga.

I just, got tired of seeing heterosexual romance because in josei and shojo, those dialogues and ideas that define their relationship often actively dismissed queer relationships and as a baby queer, that didn't sit right with me. "We're a guy and a girl who hang out a lot, so we have to be romantically interested" or "I'm just girl, I can't help but like being in the arms of a guy" or "She's a girl, and she's tiny and I like holding her" blah blah BLAH.

BL ALSO does this but at least someone in-story would go "actually no fuck you my looks don't mean anything" even if it's once or twice and ultimately it at least looks like a choice that they fall into certain 'roles'. And in the GL media I saw, this doesn't even come up as a thing to discuss. Society isn't forcing them to be anything, in fact their parents and friend circles are weirded out about it at times.

I actually stopped reading BLs now too tbh. I like action/adventure and fighting plots so the romance genre doesn't give me much. I don't know your specific reason for switching to mainly BL and GL, but I gotta say, it's hard to find the really good stuff in shojo/josei sometimes and the kind of romances they have are kind of formulaic if that's the focus of the story. There are a bunch shojo/josei I still remember fondly; NANA, Princess Jellyfish, Kaleido Star, SKIP! Beat, Akatsuki No Yona etc. I'm sure there are a bunch of shojo and josei that are probably really good and explores the idea of being a girl or a woman or femme-aligned in a modern setting well, but I think the irl setting no fantasy days of het romance are over for me.

I'd just like to repeat that enjoying BL and GL and not reading shojo or josei isn't weird. The differentiation of BL or LGBTQIA+ romances and straight romances make less sense to me day after day because shojo mangas and Shonen Ai or Shojo Ai are the exact same genre at the end of the day; romance. You like romance. The configuration of the couple doesn't mean too much because despite the baggage that comes with a queer romance it's still a love story.

[flowitch]

okay final thoughts ab blood and guts last night:

-i really enjoyed the junglehook match. obv jack’s promos are iffy but that’s nothing new. i thought the match was great, and hook’s former bff giving him his first loss in his career PLUS taking his dad’s title from him is a fantastic part of the story so i’m really glad it’s continuing. i also thought it was one of if not hook’s best match so i’m thrilled. idk i love junglehook man.

-the SUPLEX TO THE OUTSIDE??? OW???? also hook no selling the german was fantastic. & also the ddt to the outside was pretty brutal as well. i assume this is all leading to a ftw rules match

-jack coming out to beethoven was so fucking funny i had tears in my eyes. also him smiling as he pinned hook was incredible

-taz on commentary has been such a nice touch to the junglehook feud. also him saying “don’t you touch me, chompy” to the fucking shark was so funny man. mans just watched his son die and now this shark is dancing behind him

-the roddy/adam cole/mjf love triangle is fantastic

-the dance off was fucking crazy and i’m so glad it happened😭i felt like i was hallucinating man it came out of nowhere. the pop for the double clothesline, the suicida + the holy shit chants were so fucking funny. i’m also really sad that they’re already teasing the breakup between max & adam like i really hoped they’d keep this going longer but now we know max is faking it even more now so i’m a little bummed. but still i love them so much. the matching gear + the mashup music was so funny.

-99,000 screaming maximaniacs in the saskatoon silverdome has been stuck in my head since last night

-idk why but dax & max seemed genuinely heated at each other during the face to face wtf was that about LMAOOO i mean it was prob nothing i’m not gonna go on ab it but i was like damn dax calm down

-daniel garcia should receive 1 million dollars every time he does his stupid dance. huge pop.

-why does tony khan hate women

-stat + the bfs all together again made me very happy

-the production/camera team is AWFUL bro holy shit. it’s not a new thing either like there are so many times that they cut away right as something happens and it makes no sense. cutting away from kris statlander doing asl, non-mic’d promos that wrestlers cut to the camera and they randomly cut away from, them cutting away from every single golden lovers moment, not catching any of the story telling big moments in the blood & guts match. like what??? get a grip man. i have the same problem w wwe sometimes where a wrestler is ab to do whatever pose they do at their entrance and then that’s the exact moment they cut away from the crowd or do a weird ass wide shot. like what goes through your brain??? that’s the one moment u should be on a close up of them.

-i thought the blood & guts match was great. yuta died which we all knew was coming BUT we got papa mox submitting For his son which was incredible. another thing i wish the camera would’ve caught. i think that’s why a lot of people are iffy on the ending bc the camera didn’t show a lot of the story stuff and commentary had to cover for it and tell us shit that we weren’t seeing.

-i also loved the ending of the match and them shaking hands off air bc it ended w mox finally understanding that kenny was right, that all the shit they’ve (the elite) been through together and all the drama didn’t make them weaker, but stronger when the time came, while the bcc was fucked in the end bc as cohesive as they were, they trusted 2 people that they shouldn’t have and underestimated the elite. & the bcc is big on bleeding w people/going to war w people and then respecting them, so it makes sense that they finally don’t see the elite as amateurs anymore and respect them. it also sucks that bryan couldn’t be there for the end of the feud :/

-tldr: loved the show besides the lack of women & the camera work

[allkinds-oftrash]

The Crown S5E6 Commentary

Non Spoiler Thoughts: Not going to lie, this was a hard episode to get through because aside from the horrors of what happened to the Romanovs, it was a pretty dry episode and extremely filler. If you’re going to have a filler episode, at least make it as compelling as Mou Mou was. This was just pulling teeth. Maybe it’s just me. If you are into Russian history and the odd connection between Penny and Phillip, this one is for you. I just personally didn’t care for it because I wasn’t interested in the Yeltsin of it all, I only felt pain for the Romanovs and Elizabeth and Phillip having a weird marriage issue well into their 70s was odd to watch the least. If you do end up getting bored half way through the episode, feel free to skip it, you aren’t missing much. 

Spoilers Under The Cut: 

Okay so this is the Russian episode why am I not surprised they added in a mass murder scene in the cold open

I dunno if I can stomach the scene so I'm skipping it in my commentary heads up. I am watching the lead up to it though this should be interesting

Why does this man have a whole parrot on his shoulder lmao I'm cackling

Yekaterinaberg oh god I wanna cry Don't open the door bub DON'T Oh god this is heartbreaking knowing what's to come Peter Morgan woke up and quite literally chose violence huh

This man is so shady WHY do you need photographs of them Ohmygod the comrades were sick for this "The photographers will be here any minute" THIS ISN'T THE SHOOTING THEY EXPECTED FUCK I HATE THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Okay I'm skipping this bit

Fuck I caught bits of it DAMN PETER MORGAN YOU WERE FOUL FOR INTERWEAVING THE WINDSORS HUNTING WHILE THE ROMANOVS WERE BEING HUNTED I hate it hereeee oh fuck oh fuck that last shot of the pheasant and then the Romanovs??? I'm sick. I'll give Peter props for knowing how to elicit a strong and visercal reaction. Whoever edited this I wanna give them a hug that was brutal even tho I skipped most of it

Ngl this episode is kinda boring - great cold open for invoking such a strong response from me but god I do not care for the 90s Russian politics. Imma just embrace hot John Major to get through this episode lmao

Oooh wait Lizzy and Philly be having marriage problems okay maybe there will be drama in this after all Penny where are you Oh hello there you are!

I'm sorry it's been 6 eps and I'm still not into Johnathan Pryce as Phillip. The voice and mannerisms are just so off.

Damnnn Martin is such a GILF; like all iterations of Martin have been so hot for what. I apologise for the thirst yall I'm just bored with this ep - the hot men are gonna get me through it

Not Yeltsin sucking up to her 🤡🤡 OH HE ORDERED FOR THE HOUSE TO BE DEMOLISHED They did, they really did deserve a proper burial Not me getting emotional over the Romanovs I'm just here for the silver foxes and the my bleeding heart for the Romanovs

Not Yeltsin shit talking Lizzie in Russian this is so funny shkdksk Holy shitt not the bayonet threat OH GOD THAT POOR TRANSLATOR His face though omg I love this dude the utter embarrassment and guilt over lying to her - iconic performance

Oofie did not expect these flashbacks I am literally going to be sick I hate it hereeee

This episode is so hard to watch - other than the horrifying bits with the Romanovs it's just boring

Oooh DNA match testing interesting.

There are some moments I can see Johnathan as Phillip but then also not sighhhh I dunno why it bugs me so much jdjdd He just sticks out as a sore thumb compared to the other on-point casting

Penny you're gassing him up too much "You are the key. Your DNA unlocked the mystery" LMAO this sounds like a parody of a lyric from Anastasia dhkdkdi I wanna say he won't fuck her just cos she keeps hyping him up but we know he's going to hdkdjk

Penny is so cute what a science nerd This is getting philosophical lmaooo Peter Morgan what were you on writing this ep Philip's hobbies every season just get funnier pls first carriage riding and now this Russian obsession Lizzie is so hopeful about this visit

Babes engagements and tours aren't going to fix marriages why do you keep doing this

More standalone eps need to be more like Mou Mou. My eyes keep glazing over for this one. I'm tempted to skip this tbh but I know the FOMO will drive me insane sndkdkd so I am going to grin and bear it for the next 25 mins

I will say seeing the Russian practices and culture is interesting! Just the way the ep was framed and shot makes it dull in the grand scheme of the season

Not this man saying I gave up so much marrying you bruhhhh this is S1 shit how are you not over this 🤡🤡 This is so funny I can't even So childish Yall are in your 60s please calm down you're gonna die together

"Companionship" K Philly K Godson's wife,,, yeah that makes it sound gross It's still a emotional affair Philip!! What is going onnnn not him asking her to legitimize their "friendship" this is so weird. Why are stuffy British people like this dhdjjdd

Lmaoooo Lizzie you're almost 70!! Don't be naiveee just like you, your grandparents did nothing and now the Romanovs are gone Wtf Mary did you regret not doing jackshit?? Just awful awful

Either way political or personal reasons, it was a horrific thing the Romanovs went through Goood Mary feel the devastation

Lizzie's thinly veiled threats and condescension is a whole art I cannot

Oooh everyone is here for Christmas fun things

Lmaooo John Major finally slipping into his role as Lizzie's therapist along with marriage counselling 🤡🤡

This was a cute scene just Lizzie and Phillip coexisting

But ultimately a whole lot of nothing filler episode and it wasn't even an entertaining filler

[tododeku-or-bust]

In your Hades au, does anyone else from the Trojan war make an appearance? Specifically Odysseus and his trouble twin Diomedes, or maybe even Odysseus’ wife Penelope and their son Telemachus?

In Song of Achilles Odysseus says he hasn’t seen Penelope in ten years, and it would take him another decade to return back to her and Ithaca. He says he would not wish to be in the underworld without her.

Also, in the Odyssey, Odysseus does eventually embark on a journey to the underworld where he meets Achilles and Patroclus together and says how they lay together in one tomb on the surface.

Just curious of the timeline!

Okay so, while i don't ever plan on expanding on this in writing, yes, they are in Elysium and in theory could be run into!

Interestingly enough, i always thought it was cool that since Achilles and Patroclus aren't together til the end of Hades, this "technically" means that the game is happening during The Odyssey, which kinda lines up with Achilles being there as Zagreus "ages" (ik it's not, obv Supergiant took liberties, which is fine! Just a fun hc) Poor Odysseus is up there on the surface going THREW IT! Poseidon gives Zag a hearty boon and then goes to throw rocks at Athena's favorite 🤣

But anyway, by the time Philia joins the family, a couple hundred years have passed since they all died. So yeah, everyone's there. I personally headcanon that Odysseus does NAWT want to see these people. He does not want Shit To Do with Achilles, The Trojan War, and His Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Boat Trip ever again. Do Not Contact. Protecting His Peace. Unlike Hector, he got lucky 🤣 He's only seen Patroclus one time, when Philia was very little and she met him accidentally (she really liked him, he's so funny!) After she played for a little while, they nodded heads and went their ways.

Now, he's probably going to be in Hades II. Bc the theme is witches, Circe is a famous witch, and if he's not there he'll 100% be brought up in her lore. Which leads into my other reason for not bringing him up in story, which is that Madeline made it a little weird for me 🤣 bless her heart Circe was a good book but I'm not trying to see that family reunion lmaooo. But yes, they have their section of Elysium and their own family dramas.

Thanks for asking! I've always wanted to mention all of this!

[longeyelashedtragedy]

do jewish people believe in spirits/ghosts?? i am considering converting for my fiance but i don't know if my belief in ghosts is a problem.

hi, well first of all, if your fiance is jewish there might be some stuff you already know, so i apologize if i come off as condescending at any point!

ah, the eternal question--whenever someone asks "do jewish people believe--" i hope they are prepared for frustration because judaism has become--de facto if not de jure--a very flexible and individually-customizable beast while still requiring a need for some sort of community. like sure, there are 613 commandments and a whole bunch of rules that we in-community kind of poke fun of, but people in the Conservative tradition, Reform, Reconstructionist, or just unaffiliated often wind up kind of picking and choosing what to believe/do. i assume frum (orthodox) folks are adhering much more in unison to the rules, but even so, judaism and its scholarly tradition requires study and debate, and often leaves a matter resolved with a "we don't know," so this by nature leaves a lot of diversity of belief in its wake.

i hope all jews believe there is only one (1) god, who does not exist in any corporeal form, and i hope we all believe to an extent in some of the founding myths (in all their many interpretations), and in the power of doing mitzvot (good deeds) here on earth in the moment instead of living for the afterlife. and--it's genuinely shocked me how many times i've had to explain this since i left the nyc bubble--very important, we don't believe that jesus was in any way a part of god, or a god figure, or even a prophet--he was just an irl historical figure who was very influential (and very human). well, you probably know that, but maybe someone who is reading this doesn't. Other than that i've seen people believe or not believe all kindsa weird shit, but it's their business.

so does judaism believe in ghosts? hmm. well, i do if that helps--i do very strongly based on personal experiences i've had, and i'm literally employed by my synagogue very part-time to lead services lol. (i used to have a sort of steady weekend gig back in the day but they ran out of money lmaooo whole long story.) i don't believe in like, ghosts in a white sheet going ooOooOoooo, but more like a vibe, a presence you can feel, of a soul/souls or their essence that was trapped in a place. (the way i've felt in certain sites in europe that i literally had no idea had nazi activity, oh boy!) devarim, the 5th book of the bible, has some prohibitions about not trying to contact the dead, which implies to me that maybe whoever wrote down the words of the torah (was it god? or, well--that's a whole nother debate, whoo.) thinks the dead do exist in a state that could be contacted, implying some sort of ghost or spirit.

there also is a lot of jewish mysticism that i don't know a lot about, where i'm sure the supernatural comes up, but another takeaway i can provide is that "the dead" are quite present in religious services even though judaism as a whole focuses very hard on the living and has few answers for what happens in the afterlife. during every service you say something called the "mourner's kaddish" (prayer). normally the kaddish is sung with various different melodies depending on the point in the service, but the mourner's kaddish is chanted by the rabbi or service leader, and the congregation chimes in at certain points. if you are in mourning for a loved one, whether it's within a year of them passing or the anniversaries (yahrzeit) of their death, you will stand to recite the prayer, BUT people also stand "for those who have nobody to stand for them" and during every service, usually sandwiched between some very lively songs, you stop to remember the dead and i swear in that room you can feel something, man, there's something. you're not just there with the people whose faces you can see.

do jewish people believe in spirits and ghosts? i would say you definitely can. you can see if you can work those beliefs into a standard jewish belief system, or if you can't, and they're at odds with other things about judaism you do like, there's meaning to be found in that struggle too. after all one of the patriarchs of judaism, jacob, is eventually given the name yisrael which means "wrestle with god," and that name became representative of the jewish people as a whole, at least in prayer. but i think there's a lot of things about judaism that imply that there other things in a room, in a space, in the universe, that are not corporeal.

this was a useless and very jewish style answer but i hope it can help! good luck to you and your fiance.