#and it's awkward to sit in there without buying anything lol so i buy one black coffee so i can wait for my mother to call me to pick her u

[feluka]

mcdonalds coffee is so fucking vile. it tastes like cigarette ash and smells like melting plastic

[cordeliawhohung]

Imagine reader just gets extremely horny out of nowhere at like 3am and can't satisfy herself, so she needs to call Ps!Gaz to help her, now THAT omg........ imagine she ends up buying those specific sweets that make you horny without knowing it and ends up eating them all in one sitting, so one thing leads to another and gaz is just fucking her for the next hours in her apartment, lol

*sighs* yet another idea i can't help but turn into a drabble save me ps!gaz (don't consider this canon to their first time together off set i just... this idea is too yummy)

It's only after your third orgasm that you realize why you're feeling the way you are. Feverish skin slick with sweat, you feel ill with exhaustion and a terrible need to satiate something that only seems to grow hungrier the more you feed it. When your fingers weren't enough, you moved to toys, and when that wasn't enough, a wand and still... it aches so bad.

Then you notice the fine print on the "fancy chocolate" your friend gave you. What appeared to be an innocent gift was nothing more than an aphrodisiac on steroids mixed in with a silky smooth treat. One that had several settings; one that you ate... all at once.

After your fourth orgasm, you finally pull up Kyle's contact information. You feel guilty for contacting him during the night, but you're so frustrated you swear you'll cry. He's the only one you feel like you can trust with something like this; the only person who wouldn't use it against you in some nefarious way.

He picks up on the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Kyle..."

You curse yourself for sounding so needy, and your teeth sink into your bottom lip. It's hard to keep your cool when your heart thuds in your chest like it's trying to break free, and you rub at your face with your free hand.

"Whats'a matter, doll?" he asks earnestly.

"Yeah, uhm," you stumble. "My friend got me these, like, chocolates, yeah? And, uhm, they weren't, like, normal chocolates? I guess they have some sorta aphrodisiac but I didn't realize it and I might have... sorta eaten the whole thing?"

There's a silence on the other end of the line that stretches for so long you're not sure if Kyle's still there or not. Eventually, the sound of his breathy inhale cracks over the speaker.

"Need someone to take care of you?" he asks.

Fuck.

"I need... you to come take care of me," you correct.

You almost hear the smirk in his voice.

"Be right there."

Kyle hardly lets you open the door before he's all over you, and you welcome him with open arms. You were dreading the whole awkward talk, so you're more than happy to let his hands wander as he backs you up against the wall across your doorway. Your desperation hangs heavy in the air so thickly he can even taste it on your skin as his teeth sinks into the soft valley of your neck.

"What do you need?" he mumbles against your skin.

"Anything," you breathe, allowing your head to roll against the wall.

He takes your words to heart as he drops to his knees in front of you. All it takes is a simple yank to get your sleepwear past your hips and around your ankles, soaked panties along with it. You groan as his lips press against your lower stomach, hips instinctively rutting forward as his hand slips up between your thighs.

"Christ, you weren't kiddin' doll," he breathes as the tips of his fingers squeeze between your folds. "So goddamn wet."

"K-Kyle," you whine as he brushes over your clit. "C'mon, I c-can't- fuck."

He silences you by pressing two unyielding into your cunt. They slide in so easily he can't help but curse at the way you flutter around him, needy and eager. Big, brown eyes look up at you with amusement as he begins to pump them in and out of you.

"This what you wanted?" he teases.

You don't even bother answering him. All you can manage is another whine as he curls his fingers inside of you. It's done with such precision he's got your eyes rolling in the back of your head. You're much too sensitive for such accuracy, but you'll know you'll come apart either way.

"Figured I was gonna have to warm you up... guess not," he hums, pulling his fingers out of you.

The look of betrayal on your face is enough to make Kyle laugh, and the only thing that soothes your anxiety is the sound of his zipper coming undone. You sigh as his leaking tip hits your stomach, but it turns into a squeak as he grabs one of your legs and hoists it against his waist, tilting your hips perfectly to meet his cock.

You take him so easy, Kyle almost looks surprised, but you're not. His cock is the only thing you've been able to think about for the last few hours, and you feel hot tears of relief begin to flood your eyes as he fills you full of him.

"Fuck," you breathe. "Thank you, god you feel so good."

Kyle hides his smile in the crook of your neck as he begins to pump in and out of you. Like usual, he starts out slow, but he quickly realizes you truly don't need the warm up. His movements become needy, and within seconds he's got you bouncing up and down on the wall. All you can think in that moment is that you're glad he left your shirt on; you weren't sure how much your bare skin could take the friction.

Your orgasm hits you out of nowhere. It rips through your muscles, forcing every single one of them to convulse, and Kyle hisses as your nails scratch at his back through his shirt. His pace slows to a stop, gently trying to bring you down, and you nearly cry. Just like every other time, it's tantalizing, and you protest by attempting to continue to rock your hips against him.

"Need more?" Kyle chuckles as he leans back to look at you.

Your chest grows tight as you try to hide your face by pressing your forehead into his shoulder. "Sorry..."

"Hey," he prompts. He brings the hand not holding your leg up to your face and prods you to look at him. The very moment you make eye contact with him, he's pressing his hips firmly against yours where he gently begins to grind into you. "I said I'd take care of you, didn't I? I'll do whatever it takes. Just say the word, doll."

[froggibus]

i really love how you write the obey me characters, i feel like theyre so in character and i appreciate that a lot! If i may, can i request headcanons of the brothers on how they help Mc stay hydrated? lol Especially now that it’s summer and drinking water is more important than ever. I feel like they would all have their own way of doing so.

thank you :-)

The Hydration Situation - Obey Me! Brothers

Genre: fluff/crack

CW: dehydration + effects of dehydration, lots of water drinking, kinda protective! brothers, Beel/Satan/Asmo are the only ones who understand hydration, slightly overbearing brothers, Levi is a weeb, reader kinda = MC

that is so kind, it’s really nice to hear you enjoy it!! summer writing has me in a CHOKEHOLD right now so I’d absolutely love to do this for you! thanks for the req & hope you enjoy 💓 also the title kinda sounds like a big bang theory episode lol

Lucifer:

he has some…interesting ways to make you stay hydrated

obviously he starts with the easy ones/what works on his brothers

he will make it more easily accessible, maybe buy you a cute water bottle & some stickers to decorate it

also will remind you CONSTANTLY

but if that doesn’t work, he’s going to Pavlov you (esp if you respond well to praise)

anytime he sees you drinking water, he’ll reward you (stickers, praise, snacks)

anytime you forget, he gives you a disappointed sigh (usually reserved for Mammon) and makes it well known that he’s upset

(spoiler: he never actually is)

if you ever complain about a headache, muscle cramps etc it’s SO over

the first question he’s asking is if you’ve drank enough water, followed by him asking you why you haven’t drank enough water

he WILL make you sit in his office with him while he does paperwork and monitor your water intake

until you’ve drank enough for the time of day & staved off the incoming effects of dehydration, you’re not leaving

(Levi begrudgingly partners with Mammon to try to rescue you, which just ends up with all three of you being locked in his office and forced to drink water)

Mammon:

he himself is not the best at remembering to drink water

however Satan told him some fun (read: unfun) facts about humans and dehydration that have made him paranoid for life

he’s absolutely convinced you’re going to drop dead on the spot of you forget your water for even an hour (very funny to watch)

this leads to him always carrying water for you in his bag and car like a worried mom, and setting alarms for himself to remind you

probably keeps an entire case of water bottles in the mini fridge in his room just so he can always have one on hand

however don’t you dare question why or else you’ll get a lecture :,)

“whaddya mean overbearing? d’ya wanna die or something? is that it? you’re my—our—human & it’s my—our—job to take care of ya”

whenever you guys go out to eat he’ll always force you to order a water and won’t let you get anything else (even juice) until you’re finished

accidentally ends up drinking more water himself, too

(also probably pavlovs himself into associating it with you)

despite how cheap he is, if you run out of water when you’re out and about, he will spend an absurd 5$ on a plastic water bottle for you

Levi:

again, definitely not the best at remembering his water

he lives off of Baja Blast or something (even tho he’s literally a sea creature)

he’s playing a game like Kenshi or Raft or something and realizes that humans are so fragile they’ll die without water

even tho he could technically research this he doesn’t and just lets himself panic spiral instead

decides that it’s now his responsibility to make sure you drink enough water and that he’s your protector

honestly it’s really sweet if a little dorky

trades out all his soda for water and Gatorade and when you ask about it he just says he’s ’being healthier’

feels super awkward when you praise him for that

whenever you come for your late night movie marathons he has a glass of water waiting for you (in some cool cup, no doubt)

he’ll offer you up some Gatorade if you finish and some ‘healthy’ snacks like strawberry pocky (cause it totally has real strawberry in it)

feels super happy and proud of himself that he’s helping you get better and staving off the effects of dehydration

probably forces you to wear a dorky matching bucket hat anytime you go outside

“it’s hot out! you need water and shelter or it’s game over”

??

Satan:

the least but also the most overbearing ever

read about it in some book about humans in the summertime and he’s been worried about it ever since

buys a notebook (that he lets you decorate) that he keeps a little water log in

he’ll colour in squares every time you meet your hourly water goal and (unbeknownst to you) he’ll give you a sticker at the end of the day if you meet it

you’re a little confused but who doesn’t love a free sticker?

super big stickler about sun protection too—if you try to leave the house without some SPF and a hat, he’s dragging you back inside until you agree to

you don’t really notice or care that much when he’s suddenly following you around with a journal everywhere—you just assume it’s one of his experiments

let’s it ‘slip’ to the other brothers so that they can watch over you whenever he’s not around (which just results in all of them panicking oops)

if the temp outside reaches above like 30c/90f, he won’t let you leave without a water bottle and some sort of sports drink

though he’ll really just find someway to coax you into the house

“there’s this new book I got in a lot online and I couldn’t help but notice it was also on your wishlist…care to take it off my hands?”

he thinks he’s slick… but also it works lol

you two end up spending most of the hot days inside, cozied up in the air conditioning of his room reading books

Asmo:

probably the only one who’s made you drink water outside of the summer months

he’s a stickler for hydration so anytime you’re hanging out, he’s always serving up some sort of new fancy water

has a little mini fridge of it like Chopped Leaf

watermelon, cucumber, charcoal, coconut—you name it

he lets you be for the most part, but if it’s a particularly hot day or he notices your skin and hair are looking a little dull, he’ll step in

does something lowkey, like a self care day

he’ll pamper you as a distraction to keep slipping you glasses of water, and by the end of the day, you’re back to your usual glowy self

he has a little app on his phone to track his water intake and probably has an extra little profile for you on it

the only one aside from Satan who also realizes you need electrolytes and vitamins in addition to the water

(meanwhile the other brothers have just been flushing all the nutrients out of you 😭)

don’t worry, he has an insane vitamin collection to make up for it

keeps those Alani Nu energy drinks around since they have collagen & stuff in them

also he’s like those people online who have like a crazy collection of different shapes/flavours of ice cubes

if you’re particularly sick or dehydrated, he’ll make a fun little game out of it by setting up a water bar or something for the two of you

it’s really sweet, honestly

Beel:

as a football player, he knows how important it is to stay hydrated

probably didn’t realize just how fragile humans are until you get woozy and delirious while playing football outside

he’s super worried but keeps it together and does a little research on his DDD

shows you where he keeps his secret stash of water, sports drinks & energy drinks

totally gives you a free pass to have any that you want too

after that, he’s watching you like a hawk

he’ll subconsciously time you and if you haven’t drank water in a while, he’ll give you a gentle reminder to

ends up getting you a water bottle (maybe one that matches his sports one ^^) just so that you’ll remember

like Mammon he keeps water on him at all times so that you can both stay hydrated

during your midnight snack runs, he won’t share with you until you drink a big cup of water (sometimes more if you’re having something salty!!)

he also has those flavoured electrolyte packets to make it a little more fun for you if you need it

or if it’s just very, very hot outside

he’ll make you a fun little glass of water and maybe even garnish it with an umbrella like a cocktail

also makes you eat lots of hydrating foods!! watermelon & cucumber are big ones for him, maybe celery and grapes too

he’ll make a little platter for you guys to share

Belphie:

I do not believe this man drinks water I’m sorry

didn’t care much at first about your water intake but when he notices you getting a little run down, he steps it up

makes sure to keep an extra glass of water on his nightstand for you whenever you come to nap or play games with him

sets alarms so he can wake up between naps and check on you

although he’ll just lazily text “water?” to you most of the time

and you just respond with a thumbs up emoji or something

probably finds those ‘sleepy mocktails’ online or something and makes you them before bed

like the magnesium cranberry juice ones

steals from Beel’s secret stash for you

probably has a secret mini fridge in one of his nightstands and stocks it up with extra water for you

on particularly hot nights (esp if you’re sweating a lot) he might wake you up so you can take a few sips of water

cause nothing is worse than waking up all achy with a dry throat and nose

making you drink more water kinda forces him to drink more water too

Asmo is absolutely seething with envy at how shiny Belphie’s skin and hair get

(this summer becomes known as the summer MC pees a million times lol)

masterlist | obey me masterlist

(if you enjoy content like this, interactions go a long way! comments, likes & rbs are always greatly appreciated ^-^ !!)

[starstruckmiraclekitty]

Hi!! So I'm really happy because I just went on my first actual date!! But I wanted to request the 141+Köing going on a first date with reader. Not even something fancy like a 5 start restaurant. Like we literally just went to a waffle house lol. But just reader and their man going on a silly little spontaneous late night date. Just reader not caring about where they go just wanting to be with them. That's all!! 🖤🖤

Ahh, ilysm and thanks as always for your requests🩵🩷🩵

141 + Konig First Date With Reader

Warnings: FLUFF, slight angst, swearing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simon Ghost Riley-

Simon was terrified for your first date. He couldn't believe that he'd had the nerve to finally ask you out, but the fact that you'd actually said yes? He couldn't wrap his mind around it.

He'd smooth over the nice pullover he bought at least a half dozen times and fiddled with his hair at least twice that amount before he finally built up the courage to knock on your front door

His heart nearly stopped in his chest as his eyes landed on you, all dolled up for your first date with him

He took you to a nearby farmers market that had multiple vendors for fresh foods. He'd remembered you'd told him once how much you adored little markets, and he thought this would be a perfect first date

He refused to let you pay for anything, and insisted on carrying all the bags of goodies you'd acquired throughout the night

You'd both be lying if you said it wasn't a little awkward at first. Simon wasn't one for small talk, and he found it hard to strike up a conversation

Once you got him on the topic of his love of dogs, though, Simon began to slowly open up to you, and conversations began to flow naturally with you

You stayed at the farmers market until well after it closed, as the conversations between the two of you deepened

Simon, who didn't want the night to end, suggested sitting in the bed of his truck to stargaze, and that's how the two of you ended your night

Simon also begged you to never tell anyone that he blushed like a mad man when you planted a soft kiss to his lips that night - he had a reputation to maintain afterall

For real, though, that man was PUTTY in your hands the second you opened your door that night

König-

König still struggles with terrible social anxiety, and it was a miracle in and of itself that he even asked you on a date in the first place

He was over the moon that you'd agreed, but now came the second hardest part for him....where would he take you?

This was a question that kept him up at night for days. It had to be somewhere that didn't look like he was trying too hard, but not somewhere where it looked like he didn't care

He'd finally settled on taking you to a cafe, one that had a built-in library, since he knew you loved books

He watched in admiration as you squealed in delight upon walking in, your eyes immediately landing on the vast array of books that lined the walls. He knew in that moment he made the right choice

König adorably insisted on buying you a coffee and treat, and made sure that you didn't leave the date without getting at least one of the books he knew you had your heart set on

He got to learn a lot more about you, and König was falling HARD. He started to pick up on your little quirks, some more of your likes and dislikes, and he ADORED the way your nose would scrunch up, and cheeks would burn red whenever he'd compliment you

Though his confidence grew throughout the date that night, he still stuttered, and rubbed the back of his neck nervously when he asked you for a second date

And not that he'd ever tell anyone, but he may or may not have called his grandma the second he got home- to tell her all about you

Johnny Soap MacTavish-

Johnny had thought he had it planned out down to the last second. He'd already gotten you to agree to go out with him, and he wanted to take you to a pub that he loved dearly near base for your first date.

Then...came Simon. He teased Johnny relentlessly, telling him that a pub was probably the last place you'd want to go to for a first date

He grew slightly panicked and tried to find anywhere that he thought would be more suitable for you, and for the life of him, he couldn't decide

Unable to settle on anything else, he took you to his favorite pub for the date, and poor boy was so nervous to see your reaction

The man swore he was going to marry you the second he saw the elated look on your face as you walked in

You both spent hours at the pub, your conversations ranging from what you wanted your futures to look like your hobbies, interests- and neither of you wanted it to end

The two of you ended up getting just a bit tipsy, and Johnny took it upon himself to take you to a nearby McDonald's telling you it'd help "absorb" some of the alcohol in your systems

He'd later tell you, though, years into dating, that it was because he just didn't want that night to end

John Price-

Price was very traditional for your first date. You two had just gotten back to base after a mission, and he finally felt like he was ready to make a move

He asked you if you'd accompany him to a newer restaurant that had just opened up near base, and it was a bit on the fancier side

John masked his nervousness well, but he was silently praying that the date went well. He was beyond smitten with you

The date went wonderfully, the two of you talking about anything and everything - Prices only rule being no talk of work, you two talked enough about that at work

He was a gentleman the entire night, pulling out your chair for you, opening the car door, and insisted that he walked you to your front door at the end of the night

He was elated to get to know you outside of the field, and he'd be lying if he didn't feel his heart melting at the thought of getting to take you out again

Wouldn't let you pay for the bill, but I wouldn't say no if you wanted to treat him to some dessert at your local ice cream shoppe

He may have broken his own of "no kissing on the first date" rule, not that he was complaining though

Kyle Gaz Garrick-

You and Kyle had been friends for years, always dancing around your obvious feelings for one another, when Kyle finally asked you out

Kyle spent hours in the kitchen the day of your first date, prepping small sandwiches and snacks for the picnic he planned for the two of you

When he came to pick you up, he had a bouquet of fresh cut flowers in his hand, and a contagious smile on his lips

He brought you to a nearby lake, and adorably set up the picnic he'd spent all day preparing

Insisted on serving you your dinner, and went as far as to unwrap the sandwiches for you, and unscrewed the lid of your drink

You swore you'd never laughed so hard in your life than you did on that date, and it was possibly one of the best days of both of your lives

Since you two had known each other for quite a while, conversation came easy for both of you

You both lost track of time, and ended up falling asleep together on the picnic blanket, and awoke the next morning tangled in each other's arms

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[sonoyoung]

— Out of reach

roommate!dino x gn!reader | fluff + fake relationship + oblivious x oblivious(?) | 4.6k

a/n. long one, i spent a bit on this. I hope it's well received i don't really have anything to say i think it's cute lol, also very obviously obsessed with dino's smile.

“Please guys, you’re just being annoying now” you had invited your friends over for dinner to finally celebrate your new living space, you had been planning it since you had acquired the place. It was a nice spacious apartment in the city centre perfect for your busy life mainly centred in the area so you weren’t too bothered by the fact that you would have to share the space with a roommate – it was more than enough for two people. However, a warning on the gender of said neighbour would have saved you a lot of embarrassing moments from your first week.

He was a nice guy, Chan, pretty mindful of your presence and reserved enough so you could live freely. For that same reason you barely ever talked in the 5 months you had been sharing said living space, at first it didn’t bother you since you were occupied with settling in but recently it’s just felt awkward.

First instance, last week you had just got back from work and ordered takeout slightly more than you would usually, just in case he hadn’t eaten. Your first thought was that it would be the perfect excuse to actually have a genuine conversation. So as soon as you entered and saw him in the kitchen you let him know he was more than welcome to take a box of noodles, what you didn’t expect was that he would thank you, grab him box and retrieve to his room before you could even take a seat.

It felt even more confusing since he’d have no problem talking to you at the end of the day, it would be a short conversation just summarizing your separate days and by the end you’d be ready to go to your respective rooms. As convenient it was that you didn’t need to make conversation constantly just because you bumped into each other in the corridor, a huge part of you actually wanted to know him, you didn’t just want to be neighbours, with anyone else it would have been a different story, but something about Chan just had you interested.

Back to your friends on the living room floor filling the usual quiet space with so much laughter just from the joys of teasing your 21-year-old inexperienced self.

“No seriously, let’s go to the club right now. It’s that easy y/n, you don’t have to stay clueless to the pleasures of life” Joshua stated, getting up on his feet in unison with his words, you just watched him giggle as he struggled to find his balance thanks to the wide range of alcohol they had brought along with them, all very quickly consumed.

“I’m fine, sit down please before you hurt yourself” reaching out your hand for him to hold on to as he found his seat back on the carpet, beside you Wonwoo took the opportunity to pat your head reassuring you that you were not a lost cause.

As much as you wanted to deny it, all their nagging was getting to you, you knew they were all just playing around because you were easy to pick on but you needed to make it stop and you weren’t going to go to the club to get some chlamydia’d dick, a simple white lie should be enough, after all you hadn’t seen each other much in 5 months, a lot can happen in 5 months.

“You guys are actually so funny assuming I’m still the same person I was 5 months ago” your plan was to keep it as vague as possible just enough to get them thinking,

“As if you would have fucked someone without asking for our guidance…” Soonyoung rolled his eyes not buying your attempt and the others followed with agreeing laughs,

“Wait but isn’t her roommate a guy?” Vernon brought up after some thought, you had no plans of dragging Chan into this, but he wouldn’t have to know so it wouldn’t hurt right…?

All their attention was brought on you, and it felt like now or never, you would let them enjoy the lie for a week or two before breaking the news, just enough time for you to catch a breath and he would not have to deal with any of it, it was too perfect to let it go.

“You’re so nosy, please stop with the questions.”

“Shut the fuck up, you’re fucking your roommate?!” Wonwoo exclaimed loud enough for it to echo throughout the apartment, thank goodness he was out late today,

“You shut the fuck up, we don’t need the whole apartment complex knowing” technically you didn’t admit to it they just assumed you were being serious, they were easier to trick than you thought judging from their shocked faces staring at you.

“I thought we were besties how could you not tell me? You should have facetimed me while it was happening! What the actual fuck?” Soonyoung whined shaking you aggressively as if it would change the fact, just as you were about to justify yourself you were interrupted by a familiar face walking into the room. Your first instinct was to turn to your friends hoping they wouldn’t start their greetings with “How was it?”.

“Oh Chan! I thought you were coming in late, sorry about the mess” you smile at him warmly hoping he’ll leave to his room as he usually does, he greets everyone with a small wave and slight bow before bringing his attention to you,

“Yeah, I did it’s 2am y/n” you’re almost taken aback by the small laugh that escapes his lips, it’s not the first time you’ve seen or heard him laugh but something about it being directed at you hits you in a completely different way you almost forget to answer.

“Oh sorry, we’ll wrap up soon I wasn’t paying attention to the time.”

“Take your time I don’t mind, it’s our place after all” the way he said those words combined with the way he was looking at you and maybe the amount of alcohol in your system convinced you he heard everything earlier or that was ready to make it reality. He left the room after that without forgetting a sweet goodnight to everyone in the room his eyes never leaving for longer than a microsecond you in the process.

The scene had the perfect effect on your group, each apologizing for ever doubting you, however it left you questioning every exchange you ever had with him and how you never realized how everything about him was so alluring, you had to kick the kids out.

“I can’t believe you’re kicking us out for dick y/n, you have changed” Joshua shook his head as you stood between the door seeing them out after ordering them an Uber home, you patted his head gently before waving goodbye and closing the door shut, taking a minute to lean on it before heading back to the living room.

Just as you step in your roommate steps out, he looks at the empty room and then at you,

“You really didn’t have to send them out” he sighs in disbelief making his way to the kitchen, you hadn’t thought about how you’d approach the subject, so you just settled on lurking till he brought it up himself,

“They were getting on my nerves” there it was again, a soft chuckle from his direction making you look up at him instinctively just to get a glimpse of his smile – what is going on with you?

You ended up staying there a while with him, maybe it was the fact that you were both slightly intoxicated but neither of you felt an urge to leave the room, you talked, laughed and by the time the sun was rising you had forgotten why you chose to stay instead of sleeping after your company had left. After months of stagnant conversations, you finally had a real one, about your friends, your aspirations and now came the sudden fear that this was a one-time thing and after this night you would just go back to where you were,

“So… absolutely of topic but I need you to act like my boyfriend to those guys for… a week maybe?” seeing him laugh makes you realize you could have probably used a different approach to bring it up but at least it is out there.

“I was actually waiting for you to bring it up, your friend yelling really got me curious” you couldn’t help hiding your face in your hands, he knew this whole time. It somehow felt more embarrassing than randomly begging him to act like your boyfriend, you could tell he was smiling clearly amused by the situation. You could hear his footsteps approach you on the couch, his hands uncovering your hidden frown face to face with his caring smile.

“I’ll help you that’s not a problem, don’t worry” your frown changes into a soft pout showing your gratitude, he lets out a scoff unable to hide his smile “…you’re cute”.

The whole situation had you confused and hearing those from him didn’t help your case nor did the fact that he was so close to you that you could so easily lean into his… maybe you needed to rethink this, if you were to fake a relationship with your roommate you could fall for him and if you did fall for him it would be one sided 9 times out of 10 considering he’s only doing this to help you.

You laugh off the remark leaning back into your seat as far away as it would be considered a conversation between two new acquaintances, he watched as you did so, apparently everything you did he found humour in, trying to keep a straight face.

“That’s really nice of you Chan, I’ll probably just tell them the truth by tomorrow though” he nods understandingly, a part of you just wants to take the chance to see where this would go but it’s overruled by your mature mindset reminding you there would be no escape if you do.

The mood might have shifted or maybe it’s just the fact that it’s morning and neither of you slept, you watch as he shuffles in his pocket for his phone letting out a loud sigh as soon as it flashes on and there he goes, back on his feet on his way to his room,

“The offer still stands if you change your mind let me know, I’ll gladly do it” the emphasis on gladly made your head spin, “Try get some rest okay? I’ll see you later.”

A couple days would pass, and the solution would become clearer, you tried multiple times to reveal to your friends it was a joke and you had nothing going on with your roommate but somehow your denying only reenforced their suspicions. Your conclusion was to ignore them and hope that with time they’d come through, but their stubbornness was stronger than your patience and so the operation begun, you needed to plan everything out leading up to your inevitable breakup and you had Chan to help through the rollercoaster.

“5 months? I feel like we can get through this in 1” you read his conditions for the arrangement shocked by the absurdity of it all, but the time frame is the most shocking, there’s no way you’re surviving 5 months of fake boyfriend Chan.

“It’s all about the impact” you look at him in disbelief confused as to what that even meant, he just tells you to trust him and you just shrug it off just wanting to get through this. Just like that you were dating your roommate Lee Chan with a long list of conditions signed in a contract.

There are many ways this could have gone, you could act like you were dearly in love with each other when you were around your friends, you could even just share little looks or touches just enough to convince whoever was around that there was at least some affection, but you somehow found a way to be the most awkward pair of people, forget being in a relationship, it was up for debate if you even knew each other.

When Soonyoung first asked you to come along with him and Vernon for the exhibition they were planning on seeing together you had thought it would be the perfect opportunity to formally introduce Chan to your friends, you wouldn’t have to talk too much about anything unrelated to the exhibition and they could see a bit of your “relationship dynamic” but you should have known better since it was coming from Soonyoung,

“You guys are so awkward, what the fuck?” he teased as you sat around the lounge, the famous exhibition lasted about 10 mins guiding you into a room where you could eat and drink for free, so he had taken the opportunity to interrogate you on how your lives work at home and so far, you hadn’t come together on a single answer,

Chan turned to you making sure your eyes met before he leaned closer to meet your ear, “Should we make a run for it?” a soft laugh escaped your lips the smile lingering for a second before bringing your lips to his ear, “On three. One, Two, Three...”

“Oh fuck, we forgot the turkey” he leans back, his eyes widening from the sudden realization his fist covering his mouth as he turns to you, you watch his acting skills play out genuinely amused by the sudden scenario.

“Ah yes, the chick- the turkey, we have to hurry. I can’t believe we forgot.” Shaking your head at your clumsiness, getting up on your feet from the comfortable lounge seats. You let him slide his hand in yours, almost getting used to the quickening of your heart after experiencing it 6 times in the evening.

You take a final look at your friends at the table who are clearly confused by the situation, giving them a sorry smile before turning away to let Chan lead you out the restaurant, you can almost hear their “what the fuck was that?” as you walk out the door.

The whole journey back was just you both echoing laughter back and forth, it felt like you were genuinely enjoying each other’s presence so much so that once you got home you wanted it to continue, you wanted to laugh at his funny impressions and admire the look on his face when he watched you laugh, just for that look you wanted to only laugh for him.

“No seriously you’re so good at acting, I was struggling keeping up” his face brightens up as he watches you dump yourself on the couch, adoring the way your words slur together from the little alcohol you had drank earlier,

“You do know I’m an actor, right?” you prop up from the couch looking at him in utter shock as he grabbed drinks from the fridge, seeing your expression he let out a loud laugh flashing his teeth for a second before covering his mouth in his elbow.

“It’s mostly part time for now but that’s the goal” you nodded attentively genuinely impressed by his aspirations, he handed you a drink sitting beside you, and though he felt close it was a proximity you liked, it didn’t feel forced or rushed it was just right.

You spent the rest of the night delving into your thoughts and passions, the things you loved and hated, your goals and expectations of yourselves seeing how they somehow aligned together, how you had similar mindsets, similar hopes, beliefs it made you feel somewhat confused because of the position you put yourself in, it felt like once you were done with this mini phase of your lives you would move on, and all these similarities would mean nothing.

The alcohol in your system was no help in drowning those thoughts but you tried your best to focus on the present moment and how much you were enjoying your newfound friendship,

“Oh wait, there’s this movie,” you watch him reach over you for the remote noticing the subtle hair growth on his jawline as he inched close, your fingers almost reaching up to feel the skin just as he leaned back into his seat, “have you seen it?”

On the screen you read Boogie Nights then turn to him with a confused smile, the moment he saw your face he sighed with a wide smile, “Listen, not everyone has” you shake your head at his misjudgement,

“And I’m everyone?”

A quick apology and you had moved on, deciding on rewatching the adaptation from the comfort of your couch, it was starting to get hard to differentiate real from fake being in this moment watching a comfort movie with him on the couch, slightly intoxicated, you felt more like a couple that you did a few hours ago when you were meant to be. You let yourself relax into the warm embrace of the couch, shoulders brushing, skin touching but keeping your focus on the movie, easing into it more you rest your head on his shoulder.

It felt so natural you hadn’t even realized his arm around you, his fingertips on your skin tracing circular patterns, you liked his soft touch it wasn’t alarming, even though it was distracting it felt nice. You tried to keep your eyes focused on the screen, watching every scene but registering nothing but the images flashing back and forth, that was until the scene came on.

Sex scenes rarely bothered you, if anything you’d just let it pass or just skip though it but now you were bothered, you had forgot how explicit this film got and you didn’t want to seem like a wuss but the way his touch felt on your skin seemed completely different, now it was intimate paired with the images on the screen. The heat burning up in your face as you kept your eyes on the screen while being so close to him, being so touch starved and inexperienced, it was only driving you crazy.

“I’m so tired…” you yawn getting up as you did, he’s already smiling knowingly almost smirking at you, his arms crossed over his chest legs spread open, the images playing on loop in your head, you needed to leave, “I’m gonna sleep bye, good night, enjoy your movie.”

Things would slowly evolve in your play couple, and you would start to feel closer to Chan, it was an inevitable consequence of living together and having planned the whole thing together. Chan would be so kind and patient with you but not wanting to get to attached would brush it off as nothing and it was starting to feel like the roles had reversed and you were now the one avoid him finding refuge in your room.

Your feelings were already getting mixed up in the first week of faking it, so now every hand touch, smile, lingering gaze felt like something more and that felt stupid because you put yourself in this spot in the first place so you couldn’t be the one catching feelings. But there was something in the way he cared, even when no one was there, in the way he’d become so talkative when it was just you two in the room, in the way he voiced his thoughts openly to you, making sure you didn’t feel uncomfortable in any way, you weren’t sure but it brought you some sort of warmth, a feeling of security in whatever it was you had going.

“What a lovely surprise” you felt his arm watching it slide around your waist before looking up at him.

“Shit. Sorry. Reflex.” Pulling his hand away almost as soon as your eyes met, you didn’t actually want him to let go but you supposed it made sense, you were in public but no one here on this random street cared about if you were fucking or not, he clears his throat trying to move past the random awkwardness.

“It’s okay, I was just heading home you too?” he nodded with a soft smile, walking by your side through the quiet street, it was a quiet walk neither of you had much to say, your mind was to focused on the slight brush of your hands against each other at every slight movement, it felt like you would so easily lean in to the yearning and complete your fingers’ puzzle but it wasn’t that easy. He could feel it too, he tried fixing his gaze on the trees, the cars passing but his head would turn, and his eyes would land on you watching you deep in thought, maybe everything you did he found beauty in because he couldn’t just look away.

Amidst all the chaos of unrequited love, you didn’t realize how far the rumours of your relationship had been spread thanks to your small groups of gossip girls, that was until you got a message from one of your closer friends inviting you and Chan to a party the upcoming week, your first reflex was to call Wonwoo.

“No seriously I told them not to say anything, it already messy enough as it is” listening as he explained, you sighed falling flat on your bed, you had no intentions of making Chan go to that party just because of your dumb lie, “It’s not that bad, it’ll be mostly friends no one is gonna hang you I swear.”

Somehow you weren’t so sure of that, considering it had already been 3 months of you gaslighting your friends into believing you were very much sexually active with your friendly neighbour. As fun as it was playing the role it felt like your runtime was out and you needed to end the show.

You didn’t expect it to be so nerve racking to just end a simple contract earlier that agreed but as you approached the living room where Chan was sited you just wanted to act like nothing happened and continue acting like a couple forever. The confrontation part of breakup was obviously not your forte.

“Oh hi, y/n” he scanned your face for a second before continuing, “is everything okay?” you didn’t know it was so apparent on your face, now it just felt like you were making a big deal out of nothing, you nod taking a seat beside him on the couch.

“I think we should break up” the confused expression on his face forced you to clarify, “like you know… figuratively?” a soft smile grew across his lips at your sudden shyness,

“Yeah, why though? Did something happen?” he shifts slightly in his seat inching closer to you showing genuine concern, you shake your head reassuring him before explaining the situation to him, he listened attentively, as he always does, before speaking up.

“I don’t mind going, it’s kinda what I agreed to” he nods to himself before looking at you, your eyebrows are furrowed trying to understand why this was harder than you assumed it would be,

“Not really, I didn’t plan for it to go this far out.” You explain and he comforts you once again.

“Why?” the words slip out before you can filter them, “You’re not gaining anything from this, I don’t really get it.”

“I don’t know I just want to see this to the end, I guess” he shrugs, and you can hear the “oh” escape your lips you didn’t even know you had been hoping for a specific answer till it came out, you finally accept it and retrieve to your room.

So you went, you went together holding hands as usual, smiling at the compliments that were thrown at your couple, accepting the little touches of affection with a soft blush on your face. It wasn’t a small party, it was a birthday party almost a time capsule of everyone you had met over the years, it was funny to see them all in one place, but you couldn’t shake off the feeling of deceiving them and at this point it wasn’t even fun to you anymore. You watched Chan grinning amongst the chattering crowd, he got along with everyone so well, somehow made himself a space in your friendships, in your life and now it was screaming at you, how badly you wanted this to be real, his hand fit so perfectly in yours and for what.

After a while of just sucking in the hurt you finally excused yourself to the backyard, to get fresh air you said but you just wanted to escape the feeling. You didn’t expect the tears to flow in with the rush of cool breeze, but it was expected you had been holding back the whole night, you sat there just taking in the night sky trying to distract yourself. You wipe the tears abruptly as you hear the backdoor open, glancing toward the sound and there he was. He had taken off his jacket, the sleeveless shirt he had on hugged his body perfectly, you watched as he approached you with a lazy smile running his fingers through his hair, his arm muscles flexing as he did. You tear your gaze away from him surprised at how quickly your thoughts could evolve.

He took his seat beside you on the bench, placing his finger right on your chin to pull your gaze back to him, his face dropped at the sight of your red eyes, if anyone would have noticed through the waterproof make up of course it would be him. You turn your head back to the grass underneath your feet not expecting him to follow it kneeling on the grass before you. Just seeing his worried face made them rush back in, his soft hands cupping your face while his thumbs wiped off the drops on your cheeks.

“You don’t have to act like this no one is here” you sniffle your eyes dropping from the slight contact unable to face him,

“Hey, hey, hey” trying to grab your attention, wanting your eyes on his before he spoke again, “I’m not doing this for anyone but you.” Why did it hurt even though he was being so nice?

You could see his panic as your tears multiplied “I really think we should end this, I’m sorry I dragged you into all of this” he shakes his head franticly, pulling you into his arms where you let yourself sob some more.

“You barely dragged me, I did it ‘cause I wanted to help you,” his soft caresses on the back of your head soothe your cries as his whisper flutter against your ears, “’cause I wanted to know you”

You found yourself wanting to stay in his arms forever, so you pulled away, wiping your tears and apologizing for making a mess on his top, you finally force a smile through the heartache, he returns the smile letting his fingers slip back around yours, gentle rubs back and forth from his thumb to your knuckles. “I guess you know me now… what’s the final review?”

His eyes are fixed on your hands glued together, nibbling anxiously on his bottom lip before looking up at you, “I think I love you.” 

“What?” you could have stopped breathing from the shock, his gaze trails off, taking a deep breath before facing you again.

“Fuck— I’m sorry”

“Do you really?” you lean in closer to him hopefully, he looks up at you hesitantly, breathing out a quiet “More than you know.”

ty for reading, feedback is much appreciated!

[ponpuriitx]

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐈𝐃 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓?

One shot!: Crimson x Hellborn fem!reader

summary: You spent most of your time on the greed ring for some reason, but an anonymous call to the place you worked at lead to a rather un-pleasant meeting with an old fuck buddy.

Warnings: slightly suggestive, other than that I guess nothing else? Enjoy ! !

Notes: I saw this sitting on my drafts and I thought of finishing it to leave you guys with something. I think crimson is more of a guilty pleasure of mine lol, I’ve been really concentrated on finishing the chapter for the helluva boss series that I really lost interest in finishing the other one shots that are dead on my drafts. I’m really sorry!!

You had a good gig going on

Well, at least for you. You were on your little world right now, not paying attention to anything your boss was saying. Pretty much just zooming out until a loud crash woke you up from your little dream.

It was a helicopter, you figured out it had something to do about a client from the little words that actually went into your brain with your bosses talk. Sitting down, you questioned if this was even secure because of the seatbelts followed by Milli’s concerned look.

You guys weren’t sure about this.

And hell were you right, you heard Moxxie talking about how this place was similar to where he grew up in. Being taken aback when he saw a house that was rather familiar, bringing him unpleasant memories. But you? You were frozen in spot. Hold on a minute, you knew this house.. Oh, how did well you knew it.

“Blitz, who was this meeting with..?” Both Moxxie and you asked, which caused him to give you a strange confused look for some seconds before jumping right in on his own topic. You didn’t noticed this, too concentrated praying to whoever came to your mind that you didn’t land right there.

No, no no no fuck no.

You stared with a shocked expression the house , while your boss pushed you and Moxxie to the front. A guy stood up calling out Moxxie, but when he saw you his eyes widened a little. He didn’t expect to see you, but he gave you a smirk before going back to Moxxie.

“Come give ya’ daddy a hug.”

“Daddy?” Both Millie and Blitz looked confused, while you and Moxxie were a frozen mess. Seeing his face again brought you so much memories again, some better some worse. “I only let Moxxie and this one with you call me that, unless ya’ pay me!” He chuckled.

Your eyes widened, while Moxxie’s head snapped in your direction. “What does he mean by that?” He asked, still with gentle words to not sound too harsh. But it still made a shiver run down your spine as you looked at him nervous without knowing what to say. “W-Well, Uh.. He’s obviously just, eh being- I mean joking around. Yes, that!” You chuckled awkwardly as you looked away to hide tour face from embarrassment.

Moxxie didn’t buy that, your words made crimson frown. He got closer which made you step a little back, raising Moxxies suspicion but he decided to ignore it. He introduced Crimson as his father and— “Wait, what?” You said out loud, quickly regretting it as the group looked at you.

“I mean, Cr- He’s your father?” His name almost slipped by your mouth, but you were quicker to act. If you sounded more comfortable using his name it would only make up more questions, and you weren’t planning to explain to the group and less Moxxie now knowing he’s his son how Crimson and you used to Fuck in the old times. “We already know each—”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you sir!” You say with a smile, you had to hide your nervousness by acting quick. The sudden greeting took crimson off, but ignoring all of this your crew entered the house.

Now this was awkward.

You were just sitting there, listening to Moxxie talk about how he met the guy that just entered. Chaz the was called which surprised you by the fact he dated Millie too, but when they hit the Mafia part a chill went down your spine making you nervous. But while they were talking Crimson took a few glances at you which you ignored faking not knowing he was looking at you. You were crap at this, grabbing your pants slightly to avoid your hands to get more sweaty. You never want hell to grab you and sink you in three rings lower.

Now, after some while you guys went to have dinner. You know when someone talks about an aggressively uncomfortable silence filling the room? Yeah, that was what they were talking about. You ate your food without looking at no one until your boss opened his mouth which you were very grateful for. “Soo this is aggressively uncomfortable,… Hey you haven’t said anything tits what’s up?” He asked you which took you completely off, damn you Blitz.

“I- Uhh.. Just don’t got anything to say today, I’m just tired really.” Blitz didn’t buy that, and you knew it by the way he looked at you. Under the table you felt Crimsons hand on your thigh and your body completely froze. “I suppose you want to know why I brought you people here.”

They talked but you really didn’t give much of your attention. You were fully focused on how the hand placed on your thigh moved up and down and the way it sometimes he squeezed depending on the level of the conversation. But when you did actually put mine to it, it already shifted into a heavy convo between Mox and Crimson. Talking about the dude that was sitting in front of you, you looked over to him just to see he was already looking at you.

He gave you a wink and a sly smile, was he flirting? You frowned, but you were surprised when you heard a loud groan and a slightly loud kick from under the table. You guessed that Crimson kicked him because of the hurt expressions on his face and the mad expression on the Imps face.

“Yeahhh I’ve grown, matured and recently came into millions.” The lizzard looking hellbron spoke, ignoring the fellow interaction you decided to jump into the conversation. “Wait so this guy here gets a little money and suddenly it’s worth waisting all of our time? Yeah, no that’s great.” You spat out that but instantly regretted it when you felt a hard pinch on your thigh that made you hiss lowly to not alert the others. While Crimson gave you his signature “shut up and stop talking or else” look, since you’ve grown used to it you did went quiet in reflex.

You just opted by hearing the conversation, a relieved sigh left your lips when you felt Crimsons hand let go of your thigh to get a hold of his wine. He talked about the whole family thing with Moxxie but you decided to not say or do anything since you had Chaz eyes on you and it wasn’t like you trusted fully into him for him to not snitch on you.

After a few minutes you noticed how everyone stood up so you did too, but when you heard Moxxie being called by Crimson you darted him a worried look, before a shiver ran down your spine when you heard Crimsons voice again in the back of your head. “And I will have a talk with ya doll-face later.” Followed by a confused look from Moxxie.

“It’s okay, I’ll explain later. Just, don’t let him get to your head you got this.” After that you left the door and waited outside with Blitz and Millie, she was looking at the door trying to hear what was happening. You couldn’t blame her she did have something to worry about, best case scenario Moxxie would come out with just a slap and nothing more. But as Blitz and you were talking you suddenly felt something poking your ass before it got further up that you had to stand up.

Your eyes went wide and a loud gasp left your lips when you saw all the dicks through the wall, chairs, tables etc. Your boss laughed and Millie was just as shocked as you were before one of the house employees called the three of you to the rooms. Yours wasn’t exactly all too big, but it was something. So for now you’ll just work up some rest for the morning and get the hell out of here, but before you could drift to sleep you heard a knock on the floor. Thinking it was Blitz you opened it and you almost jumped at the sight of Crimson who walked in no time the second you opened the door.

“What are you— what do you want?” You say, now closing the door behind you. Usually you would’ve left it open in case you needed to run to anyone’s rooms in case that he did something but his sharp look told you that for now it was better to not get him pissed. “Come on doll face, why ya’ giving me the cold shoulder. We used to have so much fun in the past.” He smirked.

“Yeah, on the past. Before you threatened to drown me up if I didn’t follow your rules.” He seemed uncomfortable at your statement, but it was true. He did threatened you and you left him because of that he knew that you had a strong feeling towards that type of treatment so why would he be surprised that you did so? Of course that he did his best to find you, but hell were you a stiff woman who stood up with her word. “Come on ya’ doll face, I already tried to apologize.”

“Sending numerous gifts at my door and almost kidnapping me to talk to you isn’t the best way to apologize don’t you think?” You would’ve watched your words and more in a situation like this that you were standing at his house and his area. But you were tired, pissed even “Well then I’m sorry for doing that to ya’. Say, we could grab some dinner and maybe catch up a little?”

You thought of it, yeah he wasn’t the best man but oh how fun those days were when your relationship didn’t get involved in his whole Mafia business. You sighed, knowing that he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “Maybe we could even have more fun here.” You didn’t notice when you two ended up in your bed and his hand back up in your thigh, he caressed it slowly and getting closer to you.

You didn’t want to do this to Moxxie or even to Millie, but hey.. a night wouldn’t hurt you right? And besides, the second he acts up again you can leave at any minute. Your job actually made you better at killing so it wouldn’t be to hard to fight off his people if he tried anything shady to get a piece of you back. You know what? A night wouldn’t hurt right? It was a long time since you did this and hell did you wanted it, for much that you didn’t admit out loud he still was kinda hot.

The air was tense, and it didn’t take much time until both of your lips could collide together and started to make out. You grabbed his cheek and pulled him closer, and in the way taking of his hat and throwing it in the other side of the room. His hands roaming through your back until finding the hem of your shirt and pulling it up sneaking his hand up to your body. After pulling out from the kiss to get some air he started to kiss your neck and left some love bites and marks.

Fuck it, you would handle Moxxie and the others if they asked in the morning. Right now you were being taken by your desires and there was nothing that the conscious part of your brain did that could pull you out of it.

[cato616]

NEGOTIATING OVER US (part two)

roman roy x fem reader

• note! : so i know it isn't A LOT of people who has seen this but, i actually thought no one would've come across of my blog soooo i made a part two!

• also: don't forget english isn't my first language lol

summary: roman roy has now taken you to his office, of course it's still about buying your shop, but why all of the sudden decided to take you there?

warnings: nothing,, just roman being roman :) and maybe some heat ;)

You finally arrived at the grand building. If the Range Rover wasn't fancy enough for only a 10 minutes ride (actually even less), you could imagine how uneasy you felt while entering such a place like Waystar Royco; you felt pretty unfitting right there, and you think, thank god i remembered to take the fucking apron off.

You entered the big doors slowly, like if it was a new world for you, having your arms crossed against your chest, basically thinking, i know im unwelcomed here and im practically super uncomfortable with all this so im gonna make myself look intimidating. well you think that but your face is having a panic attack. You stopped moving to look around the place, so many people, i mean, you were an insecure introverted gal surrounded by so many people above your level, and that got over your head, shit... i showered today, right? without anyone notice you sniffled your hair to see if you were correct. "great! so let's keep moving" said roman from behind making you jump a bit. shit. you were hoping he didn't see you sniffing your hair like that. "yup, coming- going i- sorry... im following you" you make yourself cringe, felt caught in the moment and got tongue tied.

You step in the elevators with roman and some really jacked security guy, now that guy seems intimidating. Roman couldn't hold it and started laughing at the awkwardness of it all. You can't help but making a weird uncomfortable smirk at the situation. "you realize we don't bite here right?" said roman. im pretty sure you do, you think for yourself. "a lot of... floors" you said quietly, really impatient to get to his office. "now, we're here" roman said a few seconds later being a little cocky about it.

So you enter the floor and roman suddenly put himself in front of you stopping you from moving forward. "first I'd like for you to meet someone" and then you start moving to his direction; he opens a big glass door and let you come in. You first took a glance over the office turning to the right; then you hear a voice from the back that makes you jump again. "that's some first level jeans you got there" you turned and it was fucking logan roy sitting at his desk, that made you jump a little bit as well. "yeah well im not usually dressed for this kind of occasions, see, i only ran a café" you awkwardly laugh at yourself feeling pretty threatened by his presence. "let's talk about that" he seemed serious the whole time so your smile disappeared trying to be more in the moment, you sit down, you frown and tense your lips, and try to make eye contact, but it feels like he's looking at your soul. "your dear lovely, um... coffee shop, it's uuh cute" he smiles at you, you don't say anything because you know he's going to keep talking. "it is also a nice location you got yourself"... he pauses, damn he likes suspense you think. "right next to fucking corporate buildings... that must get a bit annoying doesn't it? so big... over your little humble shop" you silently nod agreeing, you can't fight that logic. And then he tries to get to the crucial part of the conversation. "You could get any part of the city, nice view, where a building doesn't cover all of the sunshine, you can make it bigger even..." You don't say anything, you just keep staring at him, maybe even considering what he's saying, but you don't want to. "how about... 40 mil..." he said. You have your eyes wide open, stayed completely silent. "dad, come on" roman said to logan. "fine, fine, 45 mil then".

You now have roman roy and the emperor of his father staring at you waiting for you answer, at the same time you're feeling like you're sweating under your blouse; The only thing you can think of is not only the fact that the café means a lot to you, but also, why your coffee shop? why do they want that spot or is there something else i don't know about? You haven't said anything yet, you're terrified of making a sound. "you know what? how about you get yourself a nice cup of coffee while you think about it huh?" Logan said trying to be nice?. "roman go with her somewhere around here, in the building" Logan asked roman. "great, im now the service dog of the fucking definition of anxiety here" while he points at you with the palm of his hand. I'll try not to get offended... but maybe you're not that wrong.

Roman decides to take you to his private office and have one of his assistants to bring you two some coffee. He offers you to take a seat in front of him at his desk, where he then sits. The assistant comes back with two coffees on each hand and leaves them on the desk. You rapidly take a sip and of course you drip a bit of coffee, somehow that usually happens to you; you usually get to be a bit awkward around people and somewhat clumsy, nothing wrong with it obviously but, roman can seem to take advantage of that. "fuck, don't you know how to drink coffee? you're dripping like a fucking baby" you ignore his teasing while trying to wipe the coffee out of your blouse but there's no fucking napkins around you. "here... i- i can help" roman said very decently; he stood up, and obviously takes out one of those napkins stored inside of those fancy suits; he took it out, and while you were still sitting on the chair, he stood in front of you, slowly lowering his torso, then gently starts to clean your blouse, very focused on his duty.

You realize how close your faces where to each other; you could feel his warm breath hitting your chest. He still didn't take his eyes off his mission, taking those stains off your shirt; he was frowning the whole time. You didn't want to move, it was taking a bit long, but there was something inside of you that wanted this to last forever; you start staring at him, analysing his whole face, and you could feel your breathing getting stronger. There was a moment where your heart stopped, when suddenly his eyes meets yours and for a moment there's nothing but silence between you two. You felt so much tension that made you intensly grip onto your chair. He suddenly breaks the tension and warmly says, "well, it's off" while he goes back to his chair. Before sitting down he says "well not that much actually, but it looks fine".

After that situation you can feel yourself relaxing and your heart pounding no more. So that's when you start going on about it, thinking, roman roy had let down his guard and had a little moment with each other, but none of you said anything about it, like it was nothing; however, you thought it was, fun. You liked the adrenaline of it, with him.

"so i think we can ta-" you interrupted him when you realize it was getting late, knowing you were supposed to close your café because you promised your co-worker Liza she could leave early today. "oh- shit shit sorry" he looked stunned by your sudden cut off as you look over your watch while quickly getting up from your seat. "actually i think I should come over another time, i ought to go back to my shop- tomorrow! I'll come back tomorrow, Sunday" you tell him.

You rapidly leave the room and not looking back since you were in a hurry. You find yourself unconsciously smiling while you walk to the elevator; you're looking forward for this kind of moment to happen again... and so does roman probably.

continue ✧⁠*⁠。

[tkblythofficial]

Rant incoming because I finally found a place where I can do it without people throwing stones at me.

I'm not here to determine whether or not there are feelings between T and Z mainly because I can't read minds, however I am psychologist and I have a good grasp on human behavior and I do think T provides Z something J doesn't.

I'm not saying J is a bad boyfriend at all, he seems quite lovely but I'm not at all comfortable with how old she was when they met.

R seems to get close to multiple people but correct me if I'm wrong she seems to be more attached to T than to most people I've seen her interact, especially men. That in and on itself doesn't mean anything but it's important to note.

Sure, it may very well be friendship, but whenever T would talk about her in interviews and would compliment her she'd get so awkward and bashful in a way it was cute but almost kind like she didn't know what to do with it. I'm not sure she's used to getting compliments, especially these days because the poor girl can't catch a break.

And yes, yes, we could argue (as I've seem some people do) that it was just for PR and for the movies and blablabla but I don't buy it.

And about J and Z... Not sure how you feel about it, but considering their age gap and some things I've noticed during the whole press release I'm just not sure it's going to last. It may last a few more years, but something about it just feels off to me and it doesn't scream: for the rest of their lives

God I love psychologists lol. I always get along great with them for some reason.

Anyways, I love your rant because I agree with you on everything.

Here’s my own rant lol:

One thing I notice is R always compliments people. It seems to be her love language. Words of reassurance and constantly touching to feel close to people. Especially with men. T would always compliment her whenever he could and she would always get giggly about it. I don’t know if she’s use to receiving compliments but she also met T during a very difficult time in her life. She had a lot of hate coming towards her, talked about wanting cosmetic surgery to change her looks, etc so him complimenting her probably meant the world to her.

And then he defended her publicly which I think made her appreciate him even more. Since then she liked multiple tweets about how he was the only one to defend her publicly and that made me sad for her. It was pretty much a sign that J needed to step up and do the same but he remained silent. She said J was there for her in private but it’s not the same thing as sitting your neck out for someone publicly.

I don’t buy the PR angle either. I’m sure they took it up a notch for the cameras but the constant touching and flirting is not PR.

To me, R and J aren’t going to last (I’m bias though hence the blog lol) but maybe a few more years and that’s it.

[azurethebassist]

R, S, W fluff and N, W, Z smut for Skwisgaar

okies! some Skwis under the cut

fluff:

R - remember (what's their favorite moment in your relationship?): Skwisgaar doesn't seem to have had many (if any) serious relationships, like not just sex, so if you somehow wormed your way into his heart he'd probably have lots of favorite moments with you. the whole romantic relationship thing is new to him. but a big moment for him is when he realizes that he enjoys you and wants to be around you. you'd probably start your relationship off as a friends with benefits sort of deal, slowly spending more time in Mordhaus with him. he'd show you all around the place (it's massive), probably let you play the arcade games, let their chef cook you a nice meal. one day Skwis would probably be sitting on the couch absentmindedly playing scales on his guitar with you resting on his shoulder, talking about your day. it kinda hits him that he likes more than just your body. he's invested in this story about how your coworker's dog accidentally ordered 12 pizzas from the Domino's app so that's how you got free lunch that day.

S - security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? would they like to be protected?): Skwisgaar would be very protective of you. he's shown to be the least violent, so i don't think he'd be kicking anyone's ass if they look at you the wrong way. that's not the kinda guy he is. his protection would probably come in the form of comforting you. he's a bit awkward with that that sort of stuff, but he'd really make an effort to be a shoulder to cry on. that would come after you've known him for a long time, he would never play therapist just for some groupie. he'd like to be protected in the same way. just be there for him. maybe Toki's being really annoying today, or this solo sounds so good in his head but it's not coming out perfectly. he'd appreciate if you'd just listen or even try to lighten his mood

W - whole (would they feel complete without you?): as previously mentioned, Skwis would kinda go through stages in your relationship. first you'd probably start as friends with benefits. you'd be one of his favorite booty calls so he has you over a lot. he likes the comfort of knowing he'll have some good sex with you. after some time he wouldn't immediately throw you out after you're done. and then you'd just end up hanging around Mordhaus a lot. Skwisgaar would be super uncomfortable realizing you've become part of his routine. sometimes you'd come over and not even have sex with him. he'd probably have a small freak out over the strange new feelings he's feeling. band dad Nathan would probably just be like "you like them or whatever. just say something to them. having you be all weird is not a good look. not brutal". he'd probably shut you out for a bit tbh. but he'd realize he doesn't want to be without you. i see Skwisgaar as being really clingy once he gets to the point where he really cares about someone

smut:

N - no (something they wouldn't do, turn offs): Skwis is down for almost anything but he wouldn't want anything to do with inflicting pain. idk i just don't see him being comfortable with it

W - wild card (random headcanon): this man is a fan of lingerie. he'd buy you so many cute panties and bras (even if you don't need a bra, bras are cute on boob-less chests too). he likes lacy shit or stuff in cute colors. he'd also go wild for cute stockings. seeing you in thigh highs would drive him crazy. Skwis would love pushing your panties to the side and fucking you in missionary to look at how cute you are in the lingerie he picked out for you.

Z - how quickly they fall asleep after sex: Skwisgaar has stamina. he probably could go a couple rounds and still have energy to clean you up, make sure you're ok, maybe shower with you, and then fall asleep. he wouldn't be out immediately after lol

thanks for your ask and if you'd like to request, the prompts are here

uwu

[bugdotpng]

it look me nearly 30 years but i’ve finally started doing things that make my life easier. incrementally, of course. i didn’t start doing all of this overnight. anyway, here’s some stuff i’ve learned:

i buy pre-washed/pre-cut fruits and veggies when i can so i’m more inclined to actually eat them (vs. having to wash/cut them beforehand)

also: frozen and canned fruits/veggies are good. if they fit with your lifestyle and get you to eat things that are good for you, do it

actually using the reminders app because i made it even easier for myself by adding a widget on my home screen (general rule: if you have a mental block to doing something, see if you can remove steps)

i keep notepads and sticky notes in every room in my house so i can write down things (usually groceries i need) as i remember them

i keep a bunch of plastic bags at the bottom of my bathroom and desk trash cans so i can replace them easily

i keep cleaning supplies in multiple, relevant places in my house so i’m more inclined to use them (i.e. carpet cleaner in my bedroom; sanitizer in my bathroom, etc.)

i place a bunch of small trash cans around my house where i tend to make more trash (laundry, desk, etc.) and i line them with grocery bags so i can take them out quickly when it’s trash day

my biggest organization tip (that doesn’t sound all that impressive, really) is making sure everything has a designated space. i use a lot of clear containers so i can see what’s inside and so everything has its own space, even in drawers or shelves

noise-canceling headphones are a godsend. doing laundry and dishes are excruciating and exhausting because they’re both too damn loud. i started wearing noise-cancelling headphones and i have so much energy afterward and i don’t lament the idea of having to put away my silverware lol also if i’m overstimulated from a long day of work, sometimes it’s nice to just not hear anything :^) it blew my mind how much shit my stupid brain was processing without me realizing

i have meds that are more effective if i take them at the same time every day so i set a repeating alarm to take them. that wasn’t always working so i started putting my meds in a daily pill organizer. i take them every day now because i don’t have to remove them from their various containers every time lol. every sunday i make a note to refill them for the week! and the individual days pop out so i can just grab the days i need if i’m spending a weekend away

i’ve tried to recognize where i’m imposing bizarre arbitrary rules that make my life harder. ex: for some reason i convinced myself i’m only allowed to do laundry on weekends and i’m not allowed to run small loads. that’s simply not true lol

in that vein: there is no rule that says you’re not allowed to sit down while cooking. my knees are much happier when i take a chair into the kitchen with me.

sometimes i get so depressed i struggle with hygiene. when i’m not feeling so shitty i try to stock up on things that’ll help me feel better during that time like dry shampoo, oil blotters and baby wipes.

i keep a little hygiene bag with my medical/emergency bag. it has hand lotion, chapstick, nail clippers, a small hairbrush and other things i might need to make myself more comfortable while i’m out and about (think: hangnails, chapped lips, dry skin, etc.)

i’ve struggled for a very long time with flossing because it’s awkward and difficult and sometimes painful. at the guidance of my dentist, i bought some individual flossers. still didn’t use them. wanna know why? the stupid plastic packaging was too loud. i took them all out and put them in a little glass jar so i can grab one super easy. sometimes i’ll even sit on the floor while i floss to give my knees a break.

there are literally no rules. do what you can to make things easier. there’s no one watching you, judging your every move and calling you lazy. and if anyone does call you lazy for trying to make things easier or even more comfortable, they’re not worth listening to. anyway i hope my ramble list helps at least one person lol

[dailycaligura]

Dailycaligura, I'm asking you this here instead of your main but which holiday do you think Caligura likes the most?

Ah damn, that’s pretty awkward ahah. Yeah I’m sometimes whining on main that I’m bored and asking for asks, well now that blog also will see it, why not. Btw let’s make that blog not just daily one, but like just a Caligura shrine, so you more than welcome to just ask me questions and read the best, not cringe or edgy, very canonical, etc etc, headcanons, which is mine ((((:

Ok sorry, but you got the point. Now to the question, I never actually thought of it! It’s pretty interesting topic, so I want it kind of to discuss. Cutting the post because there will be a lot of rambling yeah lol.

First of all, obvious thing but still needs to be mentioned, he’s a mafiosi and there’s a looot, if not everything, is tied to his connections with people, how they see him, what they think about him, his reputation in different layers of that hierarchy overall. So all these holidays he usually spends with company’s of other fat dudes in expensive suits, well and their wives and kids sometimes, need to make a certain impression on them too, duh. That way he’s not really have that much of a thoughts about the holiday itself, it’s just a day off where he can drink and eat for free, when events hosted by others of course, and be charismatic bastard and talk, talk and talk. The real holiday is when he finally coming home and being left alone lol!

Now let’s start with the most common one - religious holidays, like Christmas or Easter, whatever in F&H world they would be called like. That pretty much connects with his relationships with religion itself, I have a loot of headcanons about that, but in short it’s just really complicated. He don’t like the idea of living by some ancient rules, following strict discipline, being all that devoted without right to just reaching personal goals and all that shit, but ironically with religion and church he haves the best of memories. Usually with the priests actually, they know how to listen and that’s what he’s needs the most, but church and mafia is in business so boo hoo, all his secrets getting sold and now he have another shit ton of guys to torture and kill, and some poor bastard who he thought can became he’s friend finally. Ok whatever, he having just really mixed feelings about all of this, maybe drinking a little too much on these, to skip that all faster or try not to remember something’s.

The next one is New Year which is I don’t really know what is sort of holidays? Well, it’ll be just in its own section then. As much as I know in religious county’s it’s not that much of a deal than Christmas, but since all that holidays just fucking office party’s of mafia it’s pretty much just summary of year thing. He never felt anything about New Years, really, but older he gets, more melancholic that night gets. So I think he tends to celebrate it on his own in his later years, he’s a big shot in The Family already, skipping that one a year event is not that much of a problem for his reputation, I think. He’d just sit on the kitchen with some good champagne, with playing radio or tv on the background, and drinking it thoughtfully, also sighing a lot. Years went by and he’s not getting younger, what a sad thing to understand isn’t it?

If I started with sole holiday then let’s continue on that - his birthday. Pretty obviously he don’t like it, just like New Year’s more and more with each year passing by. He don’t want to remember how old he is, and that’s pretty personal holiday, and he don’t have a single living soul he saw as his loved or at least close ones, which is also pretty annoying reminder lol. There some people who knows when the date is, of course, even gifting him something, but just to buy his loyalty, and these guys is a newbies that don’t know yet that it only annoys him, and also the fuck worthy can you gift to someone who owns a shit ton of anything? So yeah, not celebrating, don’t like it, just maybe some another reason to drink more than usual.

Next - all that national holidays, I’m ashamed but I’m not really good at Italian culture, like at all actually, my passion is UK I’m sorry haha. But a read now about some and ok it just international, religious and important historical dates, but that also carnival thing and Halloween, so let’s think to these and alike. Those that being mentioned is about costumes and I think he’d like that one! If it’s not obvious already, I’m seeing him a fashion catastrophe, he loves it, making his own style and even doing makeup and painting nails himself, because if you wanna make it the best make it by yourself. Maybe he’d even waste some time for designing some clothes, not sewing himself of course, but going with it in the atelier and paying shit ton of money haha, good for him. Anyways yeah, I think he’d love to put on some expensive clothes of his own idea and whit his own style and showing it to the public. Pretty sure he’d do it only when he already establishes in The Family because let’s be real, some already weird in attitude dude with a fucking makeup and eccentric clothes wouldn’t make a best of the impression on a serious dirty business guys, fucking old mans mostly, so yeaaah, he needed to wait some time to show off all his artistic power lol.

Well, not sure if that that’s much of a holiday, but that’s pretty important to the mafia ya know - funerals. That’s actually another chance for him to show off his fashion style because it’s a big deal and at the same time it’s nothing, important fucker is already laying in the coffin, waiting to be put 6 ft down and became one with the ashes he came from, but still his power and connections is floating, intangibly, somewhere in the air, above and in the heads of all who attending. What a place of controversies huh? So of course he couldn’t not to make a deal of all of that, and also he needs to be in black because traditions, but his style is white! And by that change he speechlessly showing what he’s thinking of the dead one - if that someone who he didn’t like he’d come in usual white, if that some who he was loyal to he’d be, like needed, in black, but if that some ironic situation where he killed or somehow was connected to the death of the man of the day than he’d also come in black, but expressly theatrically. But he’s actually would be theatrical in all the cases, just not in the clothes matter, but in the attitude, he don’t give a shit about the fucker that passed away, so all his words would be also expressively sad, tragic even, that’s why he’s never giving speeches on funerals lolol. But in the case of being invited to the funeral of those who he killed in any way theatrical shit getting only worse. Those who know what is what would see that as pointlessly eccentric performance, those who don’t, usually family and close friends of the dead one, would see that as a cruel mockery, anyways Caligura is happy with that. All the world’s a stage and all the men and women merely players after all, and these hypocritical events is the best scenes with the best audience to perform. Well if summary that all then he’s like these events as much as hates, he need to say what he’s not actually thinks for too long, that’s annoying.

And continue with mafia important holidays - weddings. All I can think for that one is opening scene from the Godfather so oh yeah, Caligura likes that one. It’s full of fun things with a good chances to make some good acquaintances. And I’m gonna shamelessly dump another headcanon that is kind of tided to the theme. He’s usually playing the cool uncle role for other mafiosi’s kids, which is a good way to have more power on their parents and overall it’s just a good contribution for the future. But he’d never admit, even to himself, that he’s actually genuinely love that role, that fake feeling of a family, being liked by someone, being seen as someone who little one can always come for help, and the kids pays him back with usually thinking of him as the best of uncles. Sometimes even preferring to tell some personal problems to him than to parents, because he have much more chances to do something about it and to make some poor family of kid that wasn’t the nicest to the mafioso kid a funny, fucking, life. And also he’s goos with weapons and cooking, so he can both teach things to boys and girls. That way weddings becoming even personal, like he’s the dad of bride or groom haha. Sad and happy holiday at the same time, but mostly second one. I mean he have all the chances to be the one who’s gonna skin alive the partner if he or she commit some wrongdoing’s, so what’s there be sad about, really.

Hmm, what else, idk honestly, and I’m sleepy already so let’s call it a day. Maybe there worth mentioning some little things like others birthdays or whatever, but in these cases he thinks literally nothing because whatever, just drink there, talk some shit for the best, and go home or back to work, nothing interesting. In conclusion I can say that I thinks he’d like the most all these costume holidays and weddings, funerals on third place(or second because costume party’s and weddings both on first? Idk man), it’s annoying but funny sometimes haha. Thanks for the question it was interesting to think it out!! Byee, and I’m going to sleep now, on the 7 am, welp.

[isaacathom]

ds9 time :) s2e6

'i havent seen one of these in 300 years' i- okay hang on. there was a character IN tng who used a wheelchair. the old guy. the one in the absolutely horrifically bad 'old man' prosthetics who took some fucking drug so he'd regain his youth. i remember this episode. he HAD a fucking wheelchair. you HAVE them. theyre IN THE SETTING. what are you talking about Dax. ? i hate scifi when its like 'oh yea we wont need wheelchairs in the future' bullshit man. anyway

'once her basic needs are met she refuses all special assistance' i would not say 'being able to get around' is special assistance but like. ugh. UGH. we're doing this then are we. we're doing this?

the way everyones reacting to meloras stubbornness doesnt sit quite right with me, especially considering that bashir moments prior spoke glowingly of that stubborness. but also why the fuck did you modify the design? without telling her? like dude what the fuck. she sent you a design, you shouldve just made that, and then maybe as the chief medical officer suggested alterations and improvements and so on once it saw on-the-ground action in its intended environment BY its intended user, which is not you. euggggh.

im not sure i like where i feel like this is going to go? i dont know what i think that is but my vibe is poor.

okay so plot a) melora tries to just do her fucking job and b) quark gets murdered. i understand (i do not)

my problem isn't with melora as a character, i think its with a sort of exhaustion with the fact that scifi tends to erase disabilities because ~in the future we can "fix" them~ and then their rare disabled characters tend to be a very specific way. an aspirational disabled person, i suppose. one who doesnt ask for help, who doesnt "let their handicap stop them", you know the vibe. so its not that she's a bad character, per se, but that shes part of a trope thats just sorta annoying. this all comes with the caveat that im not disabled though so ? basically dont listen to anything i say

"its like slipping into a bathtub at the end of a long day" "really... im a shower man myself" bashir buddy what

BASHIR BUDDY WHAT ARE YOU DOING. what the fuck is this. oh i hate this. like to be clear its a significant improvement from bashir being cringe flirty back in s1 with dax (something that seems to have been dropped like a hot rock) but JESUS. BASHIR.

okay yea sure (skips scene) ill just read the transcript man im good. good for bashir making friends i guess.

yknow again melora has a point, who the fuck puts raised rims everywhere like this. its a trip hazard for anybody!

do not make out on your peril do not make out okay wait okay so she realises hes hesitating, goes 'oh dont worry thats my brother' and then they immediately make out, god thats a fucking awkward chain. that said, lol. the shot of them drifting up was fun.

i am not invested in this relationship at all but i guess its nice to see Dax interacting with other people and sharing some of her knowledge. i like her a bit more than s1.

well thats not exactly where i thought her plot was going but of course, mago-scientifically curing her of her disability, a fucking hallmark. god i hate scifi sometimes. like yea whatever it makes sense in the isolated incident that its the sort of thing she WOULD want, because her bullish independence is very important to her, and whatever, but as part of a trend you just. groan.

"you people sell pieces of yourself after you die, don't you? i'll buy one" odo and quark remain exceptional

"you let me fly, i let you walk, we're even" disability politics aside, cute sentiment.

bashir's complete forgetting that she has a family back home, incredible fucking work sir, truly the empath

this episode is not especially well written, is it

wow these plots collide like a sledgehammer

oh thank GOD she doesn't actually commit oto the treatment, thank GOD!!! THANK GOD!!! oh thank god. genuinely a good choice, like im so glad, from the meta perspective, that she decided being able to see her family and all that was more important. does that make sense? i just like that she made the choice, was empowered to make it, and knows whats up. that rules. thats a good ending for her i think.

that said that episode kinda sucks? its fine i guess.

[rubywithecat]

Can you do Aot characters react to someone hitting on you?

Aot characters when someone is hitting on you

(You are not in relationship yet in this situations but they have a crush on you)

Eren

He would get so jealous and come to sit next to you without saying a word, staring at that guy to death. You won't notice it but his stare is just too scary for that guy so he will leave you alone and when you look at Eren back he would just pretend innocent like he did nothing.

Armin

He is such an angel! He wouldn't ruin if you're having fun but if he sees you being very unconfortable with the situation he would help you to get out like maybe pretend as your boyfriend.

Levi

It would be at the bar and you are chilling when a guy come and talk with you. When Levi saw it, he won't do anything at first. But when it became more, he would make you go away for a short time like asking you to buy a drink. At that time when you were going, he would apporach that guy and tell him 'Don't come near her again unless you want to go home in one piece'. When you came back with a drink and ask him where did the guy go he would just lie like "His wife called him"

Reiner

He would also be so jealous and decided to make you to look like misunderstood. He would just pop up around you and tell like "Last night was fun isn't it? I liked your body scent" and the guy hitting on you will ask "Who are you?" He would answer like "Just a guy who she sleeps with". And the guy will just glare at you and then walk away. You are having a hard time processing what is happening and then you got into your scene back and would yell at Reiner "Wtf Reiner? What is thattt?!"

Porco

He would be acting so strange there. He would purposely spill the drink on that guy and laugh at his joke really loud so the guy would get awkward. He makes the dude go away himself in indirect way. You are so surprised to see this side of porco and that's he is really cute.

Zeke

He is very confident that he could do better than that guy. So he would suddenly be flirty with you and then when the other guy finally give up he would tell you like "I'm better than him right?" with a wink. "Zeke! Please stop-- I'm gonna be left single forever because of you!" you shouted. "Well I can help you with that" he answered.

Erwin

He would suddenly come and distrub you by asking you about work. "Have you finished your work?" he asked and when you replied like you had done all and then he might unnecessarily give you new work to finish it all night so you won't be free being flirted by a random guy and instead you would be working overnight with him.

Jean

He would make that pathetic guy traumatised. Lol! He would come up with a plan where he would convince connie and sasha to help up and made them to give bad compliments about that guy where he could hear. The guy would just run away or somewhat like that and you will be all his. Plan succeed!! (except he would have to treat sasha and connie the whole meal later lmao)

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Hi! I'm sorry for the late response. I hope you will enjoy-- thank you!

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[haikyuu-boys-headcanons]

𝙷𝙰𝙸𝙺𝚈𝚄𝚄 𝙱𝙾𝚈𝚂 - 𝙴𝙼𝙱𝙰𝚁𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝙴𝚇 𝙼𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚂

hehe, i’m back at it again with one of these long ass posts but this idea’s literally been in my head all day long so here you go !! obvious nsfw warning :)

tw: this whole post is just nsfw and embarrassing to read so read at your own risk >:)

𝙳𝙰𝙸𝙲𝙷𝙸 » during a super intense and loud session, his voice cracked as he asked you “does that feel goOD- good baby?” to this day, he still prays that you couldn’t hear him over the sound of your own moans

𝚂𝚄𝙶𝙰𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙰 » you were riding him and he went to slap your ass, but something went wrong either because you were riding too quickly or he was shaking too much, boy ended up slapping himself in the balls. you’ve never heard that boy scream that loud in your life

𝙰𝚂𝙰𝙷𝙸 » literally pulled out in the middle of sex to get up and rush to the corner of his room to flip around his childhood teddy bears. your just laying there with your tiddies and coochie out waiting for asahi to shield the eyes of mr. wiggles

𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙺𝙰 » you two were having pretty intense shower sex until tanaka did the number one thing your not supposed to do during shower sex; this muthafucker slipped while holding you. long story short, y’all were okay but just ended up having nasty shower floor sex??

𝙽𝙸𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙾𝚈𝙰 » this tiny ass 5′2 man was unconsciously humping your leg while you were both asleep?? his presumably pleasurable wet dream had turned into a sudden nightmare when you literally had to KICK him off you to stop the humping. bad nishinoya, bad!

𝙺𝙰𝙶𝙴𝚈𝙰𝙼𝙰 » came WAYYY too early inside you, but he was too embarrassed to say anything so he just... kept going. sadly, no one had warned kageyama of the intense effects of overstimulation. he was shaking and whimpering so badly behind you to the point where you had to ask him to pull out and bring him a glass of water to calm down

𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙰𝚃𝙰 » the first time you squirted on him, he just blatantly asked you these exact few words that left you feeling mortified: “did you just piss on me?” nuh uh hinata, this water fountain ain’t yours to drown in anymore >:( 

𝚃𝚂𝚄𝙺𝙸𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙼𝙰 » kei was hitting it from the back pretty hard this time, so hard that you were suddenly... on an angle? suddenly, now you two were much closer to the floor than before. the bed ended up collapsing, yes literally collapsing due to kei’s powerful thrusts. worst part is, nobody got to finish since kei dragged you to ikea to grumpily buy a new bedframe. but hey, he bought you ikea meatballs; that shit hits so different

𝚈𝙰𝙼𝙰𝙶𝚄𝙲𝙷𝙸 » one super duper intense night, he passed out the SECOND he came. no matter how much you flicked the temple of his forehead, yamaguchi was dead asleep. you had to literally slap him awake to get him to clean up, you ain’t risking a ranky stanky UTI puthy in the morning

𝙾𝙸𝙺𝙰𝚆𝙰 » kept calling himself a sex machine during the act. i don’t know if it was due to the 6 tequila shots he had beforehand or just his inner ego revealing, whatever it was it was about to make your pussy close

𝙸𝚆𝙰𝚉𝚄𝙼𝙸 » this one time, he kept going in at a weird angle which caused you to repeatedly queef for 7 minutes straight. every time you told him to pull out and go in properly, he laughed and kept going in at that one weird angle!! was your embarrassment a turn on for him?? maybe!! but were you mortified? absolutely!!

𝙼𝙰𝚃𝚃𝚂𝚄𝙽 » i’m sorry to have to be the one to announce this, but this man had the worst case of full blown bush you’ve ever seen. like, he didn’t even try to manscape or anything at all. you ended up begging him to trim just a tiny bit because you weren’t gonna risk choking on a pube whilst your going down on him

𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙸 » rubbed your left labia thinking it was your clit. and he kept doing that. the whole. fucking. time. even when you subtly moved his fingers towards your clit, he just kept going back to the left lip.

𝙺𝚄𝙽𝙸𝙼𝙸 » had the most dry and dull dirty talk you’ve ever heard. like, it’s not even dirty talk at this point; it’s just clean talk. there’s no passion when he talks! he uses the same tone he would use for anyone else at any other moment. to paint the picture, imagine riding kunimi and he’s just there with a furrowed expression like “yup, that feels really good”

𝙺𝚈𝙾𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙸 » tried to pull one of those unexpected anal scenes that he saw from a porno, without telling you beforehand. life lesson here; if you party at shit's house, don't be surprised if shit's at the party

𝙺𝚄𝚁𝙾𝙾 » you two were looking to get a little more kinky in terms of BDSM, so kuroo watched like 30 tutorials on youtube on how to safely tie you up so you won’t fall or anything. this bitch ended up tying rope knots that were practically impossible to undo, which resulted in you hanging from the ceiling for approximately 2 hours pussy-ass naked while kuroo tried to cut you down with a kitchen knife

𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙼𝙰 » wanted to spice things up with some dirty talk, like the real nasty talk they use in pornos but not the normal pornos; the shitty company ones with horrific acting. he really ended up announcing that he was going to “fuck your fucking fanny off, you twat”

𝙻𝙴𝚅 » got super excited while he was opening the lube since he hadn’t gotten to fuck you in a WHILE, which resulted the lube leaked everywhere and a giant 6′5 man slipping and hitting his head on the bed frame. worst part is; he had to go to the ER with a hard on that refused to go away

𝙱𝙾𝙺𝚄𝚃𝙾 » speaking of boners that wouldn’t go away, let’s not forget that one time bokuto took two viagras when you texted him to come over for a special occasion. he horribly misinterpreted the ‘special occasion’ text, because he showed up to your house with a huge buldge in his pants as your parents stand before him holding anniversary cards, completely horrified

𝙰𝙺𝙰𝙰𝚂𝙷𝙸 » wanted to make valentines day sex as romantic as he could, so he did the classic lighting candles and giving roses. everything was beautiful, until he accidently knocked one of the bigger candles over during missionary. this not only caused a huge ass fire in your bedroom, but he came right as the fire began to spread. boy was debating on whether his orgasm was to die for or not

𝙺𝙾𝙽𝙾𝙷𝙰 » had a nose bleed when he was going down on you and you both were immediately horrified, you thinking it was your period and him thinking he just ate coochie blood. yet as you went to go clean up, you realized his face had much more blood on it than your coochie did. to this day, he still blames it on your period 

𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙹𝙸𝙼𝙰 » threw you onto the bed and your head went through the wall. he didn’t even bother to ask you if you were okay, he just sighed and went “well, now i have to make a call to the construction guy. excuse me” and he left you and your concussed ass head sit there once again, pussy ass naked

𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙾𝚄 » during a blowjob, he held your head down right as he was coming causing the cum to shoot up your throat and somehow pour out of your nose. by the time he pulled out, he could barely breath from laughing at you. sure, the classic ‘milk shooting out of nose’ thing was funny at first until you got a sinus infection and had to breath out of your mouth for the next three days

𝚂𝙴𝙼𝙸 » always insists having sex in the most inconvenient places?? like he would pull you to side while grocery shopping and start grinding up against you as you pick which brand of cheese would be better??

𝙶𝙾𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙺𝙸 » he kept getting frustrated that his bangs were clouding his field of vision, so he irritably grabbed a hair tie and frantically tied up the sides of his bangs while he was fucking you. you immediately burst out laughing since he looked exactly like boo from monsters inc. 

𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙼𝙰 » got so drunk that he ended up fucking the couch. like he was just there on top of you, and his dick was just sliding between the folds of the leather couch. you decided to let him finish like that

𝚂𝙰𝙺𝚄𝚂𝙰 » had a really bad reaction to one of the products he used while shaving and ended up getting super irritated down there so he kept having to pull out in-between thrusts to itch his crotch. to make things worse, you joking suggested that he looked like he had syphilis and he got so disgusted at the idea of that thought that he literally had to pull out and take a breather 

𝙾𝚂𝙰𝙼𝚄 » drizzled ‘warm’ chocolate down your chest and was about to seductively lick it off until you screamed in pain and horror as the chocolate was literally burning your skin off. osamu panicked, obviously not knowing what to do if chocolate was burning his partners skin off so he just... frantically licked it off. you still had to go to the ER afterwards to get treated for mild burns

𝙰𝚂𝚃𝚄𝙼𝚄 » didn’t know what a hymen was until the first time he tried to have sex with you. no matter how much he tried to shove his schlong in, it really just wasn’t working + “yer puss is broken”

𝚂𝚄𝙽𝙰 » pinched your nipples so fucking hard to the point where you started crying. he thoughts these were tears of pleasure until you literally had to kick him off you. but hey, he gave you ice for your sore nipples and mcdonalds! what more could a girl possibly want :)

uh the end lol

also, this idea was inspired by the first haikyuu headcanon i ever read, “awkward sex moments” by @bbytetsu <3

[kuroosweakness]

domestic things the haikyuu boys do to show that they care

 ↳ it all seems too good to be true. that’s because they’re not real :’ 

━ sakusa kiyoomi 

- always let you shower first so you can get all the warm water. (but don’t too long, don’t leave him without any hot water at all :’) (or i guess u guys can shower together ... ) 

- puts your towel in the dryer before your shower. he has many, many reasons for this: 

your towel will be nice and cozy when you walk out the shower 🥺 

he’ll have to hand the towel to you, meaning he’ll have a reason to go inside the warm, steamy bathroom 

he’ll be able to wrap you tightly with the towel the moment you step out. sakusa can’t leave you abandoned with just a towel, so naturally, he’ll sit you on the bathroom counter (even with you sitting on the counter, he’s still taller <3) and dry your hair, comb your hair, pat your body dry, lotion your body, blow-dry your hair, and all the other steps of your skin-care routine 

imagine standing next to each other, staring into the mirror as you both brush your teeth, him softly side-butting you, you side-butting him back (except he moved to the side and now you just awkwardly side-butted the air ... there goes his satisfactory smirk 🙄<3) 

(just before drying your hair, he’ll rub strands of your hair between his palms to make it stick up, and stand back to admire the view. you’re adorable) 

(oh to be pampered by sakusa :’)) how does it feel to have won life?) 

(it hurts knowing we’ve never seen animated sakusa smile) 

━ kita shinsuke 

- he always walks on the outer side of the sidewalk when the two of you are walking side by side to keep you safe from the road. it’s a small, subtle gesture, but a gesture that doesn’t go overseen. this also means his left hand will always be holding your right hand 

- picks things up for you. on his way home, he’ll always call and ask if you want anything. if you have a delivery package you need to pick up, he’ll do it for you. if you want a cup of coffee from your favorite cafe, he’ll buy one for you :)

- he loves and cares for your family like his own. this goes a long way. it truly shows how important you are to him

(to those who doesn’t have a very ... good family or a family that wouldn’t be interested in caring for your partner, i’m sorry to hear about that babes :’( i can relate, we’re in this together!)

━ oikawa tōru 

- always talks in terms of “we” instead of “i”, “me”, and “you”. he always includes you in conversations so you never feel left out! whenever you are, he wants you to feel acknowledged and included. 

- defends you in every conversation. if someone were to talk badly or make unwanted remarks about you, oikawa will be right there to drag them down.  oikawa may talk a lot but it’s gotten him the advantage to be really good with his words. try winning an argument with him, you can’t (unless ur iwaizumi lol)   

- anyone that stares at you for too long, he’ll give his harshest glare. oikawa’s one of those people who can just sense bad vibes from people. he tells you all about his instincts so no “bad guys” can get to you

- relationship with oikawa = lots of pillowtalk 

━ miya atsumu 

- if you carry purses/bags around, he always offers to hold onto your purse/bag when you go to the bathroom. he’ll casually sling it over his shoulder like it’s his own, no awkwardness here! he’s proud to be your boyfriend and it shows. 

(guys who carries purses for their partners with confidence > other guys)

- if the two of you walk out of a store into pouring rain without an umbrella, atsumu will tell you to wait inside the store while he goes to start the car. he’ll drive to the front of the store so you won’t have to get wet from the rain 

(i just know atsumu’s one of those guys who looks so hot while driving without even trying- darn him <3) 

━ akaashi keiji 

- beings extra everything around for you. band-aids, hair-ties, gum, cash, an extra jacket in his trunk, a cup in case of stomach-emergencies, and even a pair of socks in case the rain seeps through your shoes. he has it all. feeling safe is one of the many good feelings you feel around akaashi 

- when you share a small umbrella, akaashi always makes sure it completely covers you, even if it means water is dripping down his shoulder. 

- when he comes across a good book, a good movie, good song, he’ll have that spark in his beautiful eyes when he tells you all about them. he wants you to also enjoy the good in his life :) (he also tells you about his past mistakes/incidents to warn you about the bad) 

━ bokuto kōtarō

- goes to bed before you, lying on your spot of the bed to warm it up. when you walk into the bedroom, you’ll see bo’s head sticking out of the covers with a huge grin. he’s so cute without even trying djkfldj 

- adores massaging you. he’ll regularly massage you, run his hand across your tummy, sit you in his lap, squeeze you with his biceps, play with your thighs, yeah it’s quite obvious how much he loves you. 

rough day? regular day? be prepared to lay on your tummy so bokuto can give you a massage :) don’t be too surprised when he attempts new massage moves that “our professional massager did on us! (msby)” 

you know what else he loves? when you massage him! he loves coming home with sore muscles to a home-made massage by the person who never fails to make him smile. not the best massage in the world, but you’re trying and he loves it more than explainable. 

- brings you the remote without complaint. puts your plate back to the kitchen without complaint. puts your clothes in the laundry basket without complaint. 

━ miya osamu 

- always offers to carry the grocery bags. even if he can barely see past the pile of bags in his arms, he’ll insist on carrying them. his competitive side comes out during times like these; he’ll try to impress you by carrying more and more each time. even with how heavy the groceries may be, he hasn’t dropped/broken anything ...yet! 

- leaves the last bit of food for you. last slice of pizza? yours. last bit of milk left? for your cereal. last piece of cake? yours. he never eats the last piece without checking with you first, no matter how hungry he is. eating food without leaving you any is like betrayal. 

- blocks the sunlight out of your eyes with his arm/hand. especially in the morning when the sunlight glares through the window. 

━ suna rintarō 

- charges your phone for you. sometimes, he’ll tap on your lockscreen to check your battery percentage when you go to sleep and charge it when the battery bar is low. you don’t have to worry about forgetting to charge your phone with suna around. 

- turns off his phone when you talk to him so you can have his full attention

- untangles your mess of cords. he always glares and heavily sighs whenever he sees tangled cords. no one knows how, but suna’s exceptionally good with untangling stuff 

━ kuroo tetsurō

- cleans the hair from your shower for you. he really doesn’t like it, but he knows you hate it more, which is why he does it for you. even though it’s not a favorite activity of his, he doesn’t really mind, it’s natural. 

- he’ll talk to the people/call the people you don’t want to. if you don’t want to say your drive-thru order, he’ll do it for you. if you want to know the price of a shirt but there isn’t a tag, he’ll talk to a store-worker for you. instead of being annoyed at you for “not being to do simple things”, he’ll help you out without a single word of complaint. there’ll be some teasing, but no harm done. he’s very understanding and patient

(my bias is showing. he’s my comfort person, what can i do :’) 

- he made up a code with you. four tugs on the hem of his shirt means you’re not feeling well/uncomfortable. (there are also many other signals and code words)

this is especially helpful when you’re out at parties, big events, malls, etc etc. as soon as he feels your tugs, he’ll whip around and study your face, leading you to a quieter place to ask how you’re feeling. if you want to go home, then home it is. 

[pariahsparadise]

mirrors and shivers | j. m.

nav. | m. list

part one / part two / ?

word count: 1.3k 

pairings- jj maybank x fem!reader, slight rafe cameron x fem!reader (past)

author’s note- you guys wanted this so here lol

warnings- unedited, swearing, kissing

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

"I don't know about this-"

“Are you kidding? It’s perfect!”

JJ tugs harshly at the collar of the fancy shirt he’s wearing, meeting your eyes in the mirror as you clap your hands delightedly. The two of you are out shopping for Midsummers, which you somehow talked him into attending. JJ silently wonders if it’s too late to back out now, but one look at your happy features as you look him up and down, your hand feeling at the hem of his shirt and picking imaginary flecks of dirt from his sleeve, has his mouth clamping up, cementing shut. 

He changes tactics instead, saying, “There’s no way I’m going to be able to afford this.”

You simply wave him off, “Don’t worry, I’ll sponsor you. We can even discuss a pay increase, or at least a bonus, as I’m sure attending a stuffy dance filled with snobs isn’t something you really want to do.”

JJ simply bites his lip and nods, ducking his head a little as his heart winces. Hearing you refer to your deal so casually, going as far as to even joke about it, hurts him more than it probably should, but what can he do about it?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. 

So he stays quiet as you buy the suit for him, opting to thank you instead with a quick kiss on your forehead and a flash of a smile- one you can’t help but notice doesn’t reach his eyes.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

It’s the night of Midsummers, and you’re nowhere in sight. JJ itches to fix that.

He’s at your house to pick you up, dressed up in a way that would invite ragging from Pogues back home. JJ makes awkward, stilted conversation with your parents, who seem genuinely fond of him, but he can’t interact with them without feeling insanely guilty. They’ve taken to him quite nicely, and he can’t help but feel like a fraud, sitting here in your living room with his stupid jacket and stupid suit and stupid, stupid tie. Vaguely, he wonders if it would be possible to strangle himself with it. Anything to get him to stop feeling like he’s in someone else’s skin.

He excuses himself with the motive of finding you and rushing you along, when in reality, he thinks over how to break it to you that he can’t go through with this, he can’t go to this dance with you, he just can’t-

Your bedroom door flies open as JJ’s foot meets with it, but he stops in his tracks, greeted with the sight of your bare back.

“Sorry, sorry,” you whirl around, but JJ’s eyes fly to the mirror directly behind you, unable to tear his eyes away from the reveal of your skin. Your dress clearly needs zipping up, but he can’t help but think it looks better like this.

“Can you- can you help?” You ask meekly, turning around so JJ’s revealed to the glorious expanse of your skin again and he swallows, hard.

“Sure,” he says a little shakily, stepping up behind you, all thoughts of ditching you and this dance already fading away, faster with every millimetre your dress shifts. A shiver goes through your entire body when the pads of his fingertips slightly brush against the small of your back, and it takes all of JJ’s restraint to stop himself from tearing off your expensive dress right then and there.

Slowly, with care he didn’t know he possessed, he works the zipper of your dress up the back, even though his body screams louder protests with every millimetre of your skin he covers up. When he’s done, his eyes flick up to the mirror to meet yours, already studying him. 

You immediately avert your eyes, turning around yet again, and JJ takes the opportunity to scan your outfit, hands tightening into fists as he realises how well the dress fits you, accentuating your features in the best possible way.

“Well?” you ask, a slight tremor in your voice, and JJ just smiles at you, bending to sneak a small kiss on your bare shoulder, his eyes shut so he misses how you tense up. 

“You look beautiful,” he says, and the raw earnestness in his voice has you relaxing again. He opens his eyes to find you gazing at him intently, his mouth drying as the intimacy of the situation you’re in hits him. He clears his throat, taking a step back and tries to lighten the atmosphere, “Now, hurry the fuck up, otherwise I’ll have to take your mom to this stupid dance.”

You fake offence, but break character to laugh, and he grins as he leads you out of the room.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

JJ has kissed you before.

Smashing his lips on yours just as the music reaches its peak at parties, the bass rumbling through the floor as he invades you, exaggerated make-outs in the corner of rooms, positioned exactly so Rafe, your ex-bitch can see you and fume into his drink. It’s always electric, but there’s still something fake about the way your head tilts, your hands exploring his body. It’s like you’re putting on a show, an act, which you technically are. JJ can’t complain, though, it still gets the job done.

He can’t help but wonder, however, what it would be like to really kiss you. Just the two of you, no ruses or ex-boyfriends involved. 

He finds out soon enough.

It happens when he’s dropping you off at your house, the two of you completely exhausted after an entire night of acting. You rub at your eyes tiredly, smudging your eyeshadow slightly, which JJ finds endearing. 

“Had fun?” he asks, one hand loosely linked with yours, the other tucked into his pocket. He hopes you did, JJ knows he wasn’t that convincing in selling your facade today, barely spending more than a few minutes on the dance floor before tugging you away to the concessions stand, wanting nothing more than to just talk to you. The two of you ended up having a blast, quietly poking fun of all the other attendees from your little corner, earning dirty glances and disapproving glares, but JJ didn’t care about them when your eyes were shining like that.

“Yeah,” you say simply, and it’s enough. The two of you are standing on your porch now, but you stall for time, softly wrapping up unfinished conversations from earlier.

“Well,” you say after a few minutes, “I should probably head in, then.” You nod towards the door, and maybe it’s just JJ’s head playing tricks on him, but it seems like you’re asking for a reason to stay. 

So, he gives you one.

“Probably,” he echoes his agreement, but his hand tightens its hold on yours, pulling you to him in one smooth motion. He lowers his head to meet your eyes, and when he sees the want in them mirroring the ones in his own dilated pupils, he connects your lips.

You let out a soft gasp, but reciprocate almost immediately, hand leaving his to cradle his jaw ever so gently. He deepens the kiss, his arm twining around your waist to pull you impossibly closer, and it’s everything he could have ever imagined. Because he’s kissing you, and it’s real.

At least, until he hears your mom shout through the door, “Okay, buddy, mind letting my daughter breathe now?”

The two of you pull apart quickly, and you let out an awkward chuckle. “Good one,” you tell him in a whisper, and his jaw ticks with understanding and hurt- you think he kissed you just to sell the act to your parents.

There’s not much he can do except nod and bid you goodnight, walking away from your house with his hands tucked into his pockets and his lips tingling. So, that’s what he does.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

tagging: @fairyprincess223 @emberdaybreak @totallynotkaibiased @criesinlies

a/n part two: i actually do not have a taglist, but i tagged the people who asked to be tagged anyways. probably won't do it again lol sorry. anyways, i hope you guys liked this part, i might do a part 3?