#and it's just. MAN. we don't have to get constant content from one game

[zehecatl]

it's so sad that people nowadays expect everything they consume to be The Literal Bestest Thing Ever

like with video games it's super apparent, with A Lot of people expecting longevity, and for the game to reinvent the genre, and if that's not the case, it's just not worth your time or money. and i'd argue this is also a problem in other things, where it's like- there's no room for 'just good shows'

like i've seen the weirdest complaints about KNY, and it's like these people have to find something to nitpick, because it can't just be good!

Snake Eyes: G.I Joe Origins isn't a particular clever movie, but it's a fun time, and yet i saw nothing but complaints about it, and it's so sad, because it feels like people can't just enjoy things anymore. like who cares if the writing isn't the best thing ever, it doesn't have to be!

this one game, Haiku the Robot, is a super cute and pretty fun metroidvania. and yet, because it was heavily inspired by Hollow Knight, it had numerous reviews calling it 'a worse Hollow Knight' and therefore not worth your time

and that's just. why would you not want to play a game like Hollow Knight? like yeah, it's not gonna be HK, it's a literal fucking masterpiece, but who cares! don't you just want to have fun?

people have such high standards for media these days, and it's just kind of sad. like isn't the whole point about consumption to have a good time? to enjoy yourself? why are we expecting everything to be the new Shakespeare, or the new Dark Souls, or the new Hollow Knight, or so on and so on

can we not just have fun

[cinnabunwanda]

We shouldn't be doing this ･ ｡ﾟNatasha Ramnoff

content warning — Smut, Shower Sex, Degration Kink, Mommy Kink, Angst

pairing — Fem Reader X Natasha Romanoff

summary — Steve, an avenger, faces tension with his girlfriend Natasha at a shindig. Wanda suggests they make a great couple, but the protagonist refuses. Natasha admires their friendship, asks to fuck him, and makes him feel vulnerable.

word count — 6.0k

Life as an avenger was a constant rollercoaster of danger and responsibility. One day, we could be on the hunt for an Alien threatening to destroy the world, and the next we could be in a high-level meeting discussing how to utilize our powers and resources for the good of humanity.

But even superheroes needed a break, and when we did get some time off, the team liked to spend it together. Tonight was one of those rare occasions.

"What's on the agenda tonight?" I asked Tony, always the mastermind behind our group outings.

"Well, my dear comrades, I have decided to throw a little shindig for us. Drinks, dancing, games...the whole nine yards," he grinned mischievously at all of us.

"The crew? Are you twelve years old?" Bucky teased him.

"Hey now, don't be boosting his ego too much. He's ancient," Sam chimed in with a sly smile.

"Says the man born in the 20s," Tony retorted playfully.

"Well, if Nat's going then count me in," I declared, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Actually, Nat won't be joining us tonight. We have a date," Steve announced proudly, looking at his girlfriend with adoration in his eyes.

Natasha looked back at him with confusion written all over her face. Clearly, she had no idea about this so-called date Steve had planned.

Tony shot me a look that said "uh-oh, trouble." I couldn't help but stifle a laugh at his expression, but when everyone turned to look at me, I quickly diverted my attention to my water bottle.

"Nat is a grown woman capable of making her own decisions," I spoke up honestly after disposing of my empty bottle.

I was sick and tired of Steve treating Natasha like he owned her. She was my best friend and under no one's spell. I couldn't understand what she saw in him, especially since they were always bickering, but I admired her for standing up to him. His mind was still stuck in the 20s.

"Stay out of my relationship," Steve snapped at me, his tone harsh and accusatory.

"Don't talk to her like that!" Natasha slammed her hands on the table, her voice filled with frustration.

"What did you just say?" Steve's anger was evident in his eyes.

"You heard me. Don't. Talk. To. Her. Like. That," Natasha spat back at him.

And so it began, another argument between the two of them. Tony, Bucky, and Sam quickly made their escape, and I attempted to do the same, but Natasha called out my name, causing me to pause and turn back towards them.

"Why do you always drag her into our problems? Leave her out of this," Steve shouted at Natasha.

"I'll involve whoever I want to. You don't own me, Steve. I'm sick of this bullshit," Natasha shot back fiercely.

I wanted nothing more than to leave and take a nice hot shower to escape the tension in the room. I speed-walked down the hallway but bumped into Wanda along the way. She smiled sympathetically at me before glancing down the hallway where we could still hear Nat and Steve going at it.

"They're fighting again? What happened now?" Wanda asked in disbelief.

"I know, can you believe it's already the fourth time today? Tony was planning a team get-together and Nat said she would go, but then Steve said she couldn't, and well...you can hear how that turned out," I explained, nodding my head towards the source of the commotion down the hall.

Wanda sighed and shook her head in exasperation before turning back to face me.

"You and Nat would make a great couple, you know," she shrugged nonchalantly.

"Excuse me? Me and Nat? No way. She's Nat, and besides, she's my best friend," I laughed off the suggestion.

"Y/n, your thoughts are too loud to hide from me. Just something to think about," Wanda said with a knowing smile before walking away.

As I continued on my way to the shower, I couldn't help but wonder if Wanda was right. Maybe there was more to my feelings for Natasha than just friendship. But for now, all I wanted was a peaceful evening without any drama or arguments.

As I walked away from her, a thin smile graced my lips in response to her comment about my secrets. With each step, the sound of my feet hitting the ground echoed through the hallway. Suddenly, I heard her voice ring out behind me.

"I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYONE, DON'T WORRY!" she shouted after me.

Ignoring her, I sent her a defiant middle finger and continued on my way to my room. Once inside, I quickly gathered all of my shower essentials and headed into the bathroom. Stripping off my clothes and tossing them carelessly into a corner, I was interrupted by the sudden intrusion of someone barging into my room.

"Ugh, this better be important. I'm about to take a shower," I called out irritably.

To my surprise, it was Natasha standing in front of me with a weight seemingly lifted off her shoulders. Concerned, I wrapped a towel around my body and stepped out into my room to face her.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked gently.

Without hesitation, she scanned me up and down with clear admiration in her eyes. Our friendship had always been like this - playful flirtation and pretending to be each other's girlfriends to ward off unwanted advances from guys.

"Eyes up here, Romanoff," I warned as her gaze lingered on my chest.

"Kiss me," she stated bluntly.

I hesitated for a moment, knowing that she had a boyfriend and not wanting to complicate things between us.

"Nat...as much as I would love for you to...you know...fuck me...you have a boyfriend and I don't want to-"

"Y/n, listen. Steve and I aren't together anymore. So please just let me fuck you until you can't walk," she said earnestly, looking directly into my eyes.

I couldn't help but feel conflicted as she leaned in and pressed her lips against mine. They were just as soft and inviting as I remembered, and I couldn't resist kissing her back. Lost in the moment, we stumbled towards the bathroom, our hands desperately tugging at each other's clothes.

Once inside, Natasha pulled away from me with a mischievous smirk on her face.

"Let's get rid of these," she said playfully, gesturing to my towel.

"I like them where they are," I teased back, unable to take my eyes off of her.

"Baby, I thought you wanted me to fuck you," she pouted, running her fingers along my jawline.

"I do," I whined, feeling more turned on by the second.

"Well then, let's remove this obstacle," she whispered seductively before nibbling on my ear as she tugged on my towel.

"Mmmh, I think you're right, Natty," I replied breathlessly.

In one swift motion, she pulled down my towel so that I was standing fully naked in front of her. Her eyes roamed over my body with hunger and desire, making me feel small and vulnerable under her intense gaze.

"You are going to be so much fun," she murmured, tracing her finger lightly over my chest before pushing me into the shower.

As the warm water cascaded over my body, I couldn't help but let out a slight moan. Natasha stepped in behind me and pressed her body against mine, her lips crashing onto mine once again. As our tongues tangled and hands roamed freely over each other's bodies, I couldn't believe what was happening. And as she pinned me against the wall of the shower and continued to ravish me with kisses and touches, I knew that this would be a night to remember.

The hot steamy shower added so much passion into our little hookup. It made everything way more hotter than normal. The way Natasha's red hair looked as the water trickled down her body was a sight I will never forget.

She placed her hands on my thighs and tapped on them. She picked me up and I wrapped myself around her waist. I began to try and grind myself to try get some sort of friction which worked for a minute as I grinded myself on her abs but when she realised what I was doing she stopped me

"Such a desperate little whore aren't you? Look at you so pathetic trying to get yourself off by using my abs" she degraded me

I could feel myself get wet at her choice of words. I was dumbfounded and my moth couldn't even form words.

"You like that? You like it when I call you a whore baby?" She smiled evilly at me

There definitely was a pool between my legs at this point. She kept staring into my eyes when she spoke to me which made it harder to keep eye contact when she was saying these hypnotising things

"Answer me slut" she snarled

"Ye-yes mommy I do" I replied with a smirk once I pulled myself together

She wore her famous smirk on her face as she stared into my eyes. "Mommy? God I love that" she smirked

She began to attack my body with kisses. Sucking,biting and leaving marks all along my neck,chest shoulders you name it she marked it. She slammed us against the wall and I slowly got off her waist moaning quietly at her marking my body

She placed her knee between my thighs so my pussy was resting on her knee. She pushed it up hard causing me to moan loudly and my moan echoed around the room I quickly covered my mouth but Nat grabbed my wrist and removed my hand from my mouth

"I want to hear those pretty moans, go on scream shout let everyone know that Starks golden child is being fucked by the black widow" she said with lust in her eyes and voice

She gripped both of her hands on my waist and began to harshly push my hips into her knee. The pleasure shot through my body sending shivers down my spine.

"GOD NAT" I moaned loudly

She smirked wildly at me and began to slow down. Which was horrible I needed a release the knot that once was in my stomach had disappeared. My head was resting on Natasha's shoulder.

"Ple-please Nat I NEED you" i panted

"What, you have me what more could you want" she slowed down even more

"Mommy please your killing me" I breathed out

"Such a little slut aren't we? Be a good girl and beg for it" she instructed me

"Please please mommy let me finish all over your knee, I will be a good girl-please mommy" I begged

"Go on get yourself off I want to watch you" she smirked at me

She let go of my hips and I began to grind myself down onto her knee. It felt so good, moans began to fall out of my mouth. I picked up the paste and I could feel my tits bouncing as I moved up and down on her. I had my eyes shut and I threw my head back in pleasure when she flexed her leg.

I opened my eyes and seen Natasha was fingering herself. God it was hot. I shoved 3 of my fingers in her and she moaned

"YES Y/N RIGHT THERE" I picked up the pace

I could feel the knot in my stomach again. I was so close. I could tell Natasha was too by the way she was pulsing on my fingers.

"I'm so close mommy" I moaned

Natasha's moans echoed through the bathroom as I thrust a fourth finger inside of her without warning. Her legs flexed and she threw her head back, lost in pleasure. I quickened my pace, my body on the verge of climaxing.

"PLEASE NAT, I CAN'T HOLD IT!" I cried out, overcome with desire. "Cum on me," she moaned in response.

The sound of our passionate encounter filled the small bathroom, but in that moment, we didn't care who could hear us. My fingers continued to move inside of Natasha as she reached her peak, her release coating my hand.

We collapsed against each other, panting and exhausted. I rested my head against her neck and she nestled hers into mine, peppering light kisses along my skin.

"Holy- fuck," she panted between breaths. "That was...the best shower of my life."

I breathed out a laugh and nodded in agreement. But just as we were starting to relax and catch our breath, Natasha reminded me that we had plans for the evening.

"We should get ready for tonight. That is, if you're still going..." I told her hesitantly.

"Y/n, if you're going, I am going," she said with a smile.

I bit my lip nervously and flashed a shy smile in return. We exited the shower and wrapped towels around our bodies before parting ways to get dressed. As I put on my favorite red dress, revealing just enough cleavage to make it daring yet elegant, Wanda burst into my room with excitement.

"Oh my God!" she squealed. "Natasha and Steve broke up!"

My acting skills came into play as I pretended to be shocked and happy by this news. Wanda bought it completely.

"No way! Really? You're not joking with me?" I exclaimed.

"I wouldn't do that to you!" She laughed. "How did you find out?"

"I overheard Steve telling Bucky," she informed me.

"I thought Natasha and I were the spies here, not you witchy," I teased her.

"That's not the only thing you and Natasha are," she smirked.

"What are we, Wanda?" I turned to face her.

"Each other's future wives," she smirked again.

I rolled my eyes playfully while trying to hide my blush. But Wanda was right, there was definitely something special between Natasha and me.

"You look beautiful, by the way. Is that for Vision?" I joked with a wink.

"Shut up, I can dress up for myself, you know!" Wanda shook her head in mock annoyance.

"Mmhm, yeah, but that dress is new and I know you wouldn't wear it unless you were planning to impress him," I teased as we linked arms and made our way down the hallway.

"Well, I could say the same. We both know a certain spy's favorite color is red," Wanda joked back as we walked.

"But how do you know I'm not trying to impress you? Your favorite color is red too," I responded with a sly smile.

"Well, if that's the case..." she smiled mischievously and we both burst out laughing.

As we entered the main room, still giggling about our love lives, we noticed that it was practically empty except for Tony, Maria, Steve, Vision, and Natasha.

"Well, isn't this quite the party," Wanda quipped at Tony as we approached the small group.

My laughter echoed through the spacious room as I stood with Wanda, trying to decide who to talk to first. There were so many people to choose from in this tower, and we were all gathered here for some unknown reason. "You two give it up," Tony commented, rolling his eyes. "People are coming, unlike you two. Some of us have lives outside of this tower." Maria smirked at me, her gaze lingering on my face. "Well, Y/n certainly does," she said suggestively. "What are you on about, Ms. Hill?" Vision asked curiously. "From the looks of it, Y/n has had some fun recently," Maria grinned, gesturing towards my neck.

Suddenly, everyone's attention turned to me. What was Maria talking about? Wanda slapped my arm playfully. "Miss Y/L/N! What is that on your neck?" she gasped. "It appears to be a hickey, I believe," Vision stated loudly. "WHO HAS A HICKEY?!" Sam's voice boomed as he and the rest of the group descended down the stairs. "Y/N!" Maria exclaimed, causing everyone to focus their attention on me.

I blushed furiously as they began to bombard me with questions. "When did this happen?" Bucky smirked mischievously. "Doesn't matter, it's none of anyone's business," I replied coolly as I sat down on the couch and grabbed a beer from the cooler.

"Okay, so it had to be recently, like in the last 2-3 days," Carol calculated, her eyes scanning my appearance. Tony looked disgusted while Bruce seemed uncomfortable and kept shifting in his seat.

"But Y/n doesn't leave the compound," Wanda announced defensively. "I do too!" I defended myself, feeling slightly hurt by their disbelief.

"I mean, she clearly does," Rhodes pointed at my neck accusingly. "Can we stop talking about this?" I asked, feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable.

"Yeah, please, can we?" Tony pleaded, looking like he was about to have a heart attack. "But-" Vision started to say.

"Yes, Vis?" Wanda interrupted him. "If Y/n went out and had intercourse with another person...well, that's impossible," Vision stated matter-of-factly.

"How is it impossible?" I asked, confused by his statement. "You haven't left the compound in 4 days apart from that mission, and unless you slept with someone from Hydra 4 days ago, plus the fact that those hickeys look somewhat fresh...it's impossible that you had intercourse elsewhere...plus-" Vision was suddenly cut off by a loud outburst from Tony.

"STOP! STOP! THAT'S ENOUGH!" Tony yelled, causing everyone to turn their attention towards him. I could see the shock on Rhodey's face as he exclaimed, "Stark, seriously?! She's half your age!"

My eyes went wide as I realized what they were all hinting at. "Ewww, no! No, we didn't," Tony defended himself quickly.

"Stop it now, please," I begged as I placed my hands over my face in embarrassment.

Tony stood up abruptly and walked over to the bar, while Natasha sat smirking and sipping her beer. Bruce also seemed preoccupied with Nat, which wasn't unusual since they were close friends. "Wait, so Y/n brought someone to her room and slept with them?" Carol looked around at the group.

"It isn't anyone here," I said quickly, trying to deflect the attention away from myself.

"I'm going to join Tony at the bar," Bruce announced suddenly, trying to make a quick escape. But Carol and Maria stopped him. "You know something, Brucey. What is it?" Maria interrogated him.

"Leave the poor guy alone," Nat defended him, giving Bruce a reassuring glance.

"Come on, aren't you dying to find out who she slept with?" Carol asked Nat eagerly.

"Of course I am, but we all know Mr. Anger over here gets uncomfortable easily," Nat teased back, causing Maria and Wanda to laugh.

"Oh, Witchy Witchy," Maria smirked at Wanda, who responded with an equally mischievous grin as she slowly walked over to Bruce.

I could see the worry in Bruce's eyes as he sent a quick glance my way. Fuck, he must have overheard something. I gave him a questioning look, hoping he knew something that could explain this situation. He looked away, his expression filled with concern. Damn, he definitely heard something.

With a sudden burst of energy, Sam practically leapt 6 feet in the air, exclaiming, "HE KNOWS WHO IT IS!"

"NO- GUYS I DONT," he quickly defended himself as everyone turned to look at him.

"DO IT NOW WANDA," Bucky smirked at her, urging her to reveal the identity.

I glanced at Nat and Bucky, who were sitting closely beside each other. Dread filled me as I realized that soon everyone would know.

"Guys, who actually cares who she slept with?" Steve groaned, clearly annoyed by the situation.

"Everyone apparently," Nat shot back, glaring at him. "Well Tony doesn't, nor do I," he began to walk away.

"Well you would care," Bruce murmured quietly under his breath.

"What was that Brucey?" Wanda smirked playfully. "Hmmmmm?" He acted dumb, but we all knew what he had said.

"Let him go guys please, this is embarrassing for me. It's my life, not yours," I pleaded with them, trying to diffuse the tension.

But my efforts were in vain as Wanda's smirk grew wider and red wisps of energy emanated from her hands. She was reading Bruce's mind. Suddenly, she gasped and Bruce quickly ran to Tony, apologizing frantically.

"I'M SO SORRY Y/N!" he shouted over his shoulder as he rushed away.

"OH MY GOD," Wanda smirked at me, her eyes glinting mischievously. "WHO IS IT?"

"WITCHY TELL US!" Maria exclaimed, unable to contain her excitement.

Wanda paused for a moment before announcing with a sly smile, "It's someone in this room."

The group erupted into a frenzy of questions, desperate to uncover the truth. Maria gasped in shock while Carol couldn't hide her curiosity.

"Okay, who was getting it on with Y/n?" Sam's wide smirk displayed his eagerness to know.

"It could be a girl," Natasha pretended it wasn't her and shrugged nonchalantly.

"That's funny," Steve commented, clearly uncomfortable with the topic.

"So what if it is a girl, Steve? It's my body, not yours," I deflected his judgmental comment.

"Well, it's wrong," he argued back, causing me to roll my eyes in frustration.

"Wanda..." Maria turned to her, hoping she would reveal more information.

I gave Wanda a pleading look, but she shook her head at me. Little witch.

"I'll give you all a hint: their favorite color is red," Wanda began, enjoying the power she held over everyone's thoughts.

"Okay, so that rules out Sam and Nat. Plus, we already established that it isn't Tony or Natasha," Maria listed off potential suspects in the room.

Vision looked relieved at being cleared as a suspect, and I couldn't help but find it cute in that moment. But then reality hit once again.

"Okay, to cut ties. Sam had no clue, so that's him out," Clint suggested logically. "And let's be real, we all know he wouldn't be able to pull Y/n anyway."

Sam was highly offended by this insinuation and tried to argue his case, but I quickly shut him down. Natasha smirked at me for turning him down while the rest of the group joined in on teasing him.

"Well then that leaves two possibilities: Bucky's exes Nat and Steve," Bucky stated matter-of-factly. My heart sank at the thought of either of them being involved.

Steve was busy chatting with Tony and Bruce at the bar, completely unaware of the conversation happening right next to them.

"Well, it has to be one of them. Maybe they used Y/n as a rebound since they just broke up," Carol suggested, causing me to feel even more upset.

"I'm not some lousy one night stand," I interjected, feeling hurt by the words being thrown around.

"Are we correct that it is one of them, Wanda?" Vision asked politely, trying to move the conversation along.

"Yes, you are," she confirmed with a mischievous smirk.

"Well, I could be right then," Carol shrugged her shoulders confidently.

"You really think that?" I asked sadly.

"Well, I mean, it is strange that they broke up and whoever it is ran to you. Maybe they did it as a way to get back at Steve for something," Carol said without thinking.

I sat there in shock as Maria slapped her on the arm for her insensitivity.

"My money is on Steve. He's always had a thing against Y/n and it would make sense if it was an enemies-to-lovers situation," Sam boomed confidently.

"Nah, I think it has to be Nat. If we're going off of what Carol said, she would want to get under Steve's skin by sleeping with his best friend who he dislikes," Thor chimed in with his own theory.

Everyone began agreeing with Thor and even I couldn't help but consider their theories. After all, Nat and Steve were always on-again-off-again. But the thought of either one of them using me as a pawn in their love triangle made my stomach churn.

As I looked at her, my heart ached and tears began to fill my eyes. She was about to say something before she was stopped by Tony's outburst.

"STOP IT! Can't you all see what this is doing to her? Look at her, she is on the verge of tears. You are all making her feel like a piece of shit, like some cheap hooker," Tony defended me passionately.

I looked up and saw Bruce standing next to him, offering his support. Tony protectively placed his hands on my shoulders while Bruce sat beside me, gently placing his hand on my knee in an attempt to comfort me.

"You should all be ashamed of yourselves. We have all gone to Y/n with our secrets at one point or another, and she has never said a word. Is this how you want to repay her? By speaking about her personal life with such lack of empathy?" Bruce's tone was harsh as he scolded the group.

A tear streamed down my face, which I quickly wiped away as everyone's eyes turned to me. I could feel their gaze, but some were shamefully looking at the ground. Without warning, I felt someone wrap their arms around me from behind - it was Natasha.

"Well, I'm telling you now it wasn't me," Wanda spoke up with a smile.

I wrapped my arms around her, taking in her comforting scent. She truly gave the best hugs. As I cried softly into her shoulder, all the hurtful thoughts and accusations that had been swirling in my mind disappeared.

"It's okay, you're okay," she whispered softly to me.

But suddenly, everything came flooding back as I remembered what they had done. "No, please get off of me," I pushed Wanda away and stood up.

Feeling disgusted and betrayed, I walked away from the group. Carol was right; Natasha had used me to get under Steve's skin, and he watched me leave with a smug grin on his face - I could see it from a mile away.

From Natasha's point of view, Y/n had just stormed out of the main hall. As she looked at the rest of the group, they all wore expressions of guilt. Anger rose up in Natasha like never before.

"Baby, did you do this to make me jealous?" Steve approached her.

"Don't fucking call me that," Natasha snapped at him.

"In fact, I don't want any of you to even call me your friend anymore. None of you are my friends after what you did tonight. The only people who I consider friends are Tony and Bruce. The rest of you are just horrible colleagues that I have to put up with," she yelled at them.

"Nat, we're sorry. We didn't think she would..." Wanda started to apologize, but Natasha cut her off.

"Out of all the people, you were the last person I expected to do this to her - to us," Natasha said, disappointment evident in her voice.

"Actually, no, scratch that. I didn't think any of you would be so cruel. But here we are. So since you all are dying to know - YES, I slept with Y/n. And NO, Carol, it wasn't to get back at Steve. It was because I genuinely love her with every piece of my body, and I would die for her. It was the best experience I've ever had because I was with someone who truly cares not only for me but for everyone around her. Y/n would go to hell and back for any one of you. So fuck you all," Natasha stormed out.

She went to her room and slammed the door shut behind her. Frantically changing into her comfortable pajamas, she grabbed Y/n's favorite hoodie which always goes missing when she's away on missions. Determined to fight for her and prove her love, Natasha left her room and went down to find Y/n's room. She had to show her girl that she was willing to go to great lengths for their love.

Your POV

The weight of disappointment and hurt settled heavily on my chest. With a heavy heart, I trudged to my room, eager to shed the facade of happiness that I had worn all day. Taking comfort in soft, loose clothes, I wiped away the thick layer of makeup and let myself succumb to tears.

As I lay in bed, memories of Natasha and the events of the day flooded my mind. How could I have been so naive? Of course she slept with me as a way to get back at Steve. The realization stung like a fresh wound.

But amidst the pain and betrayal, one moment stood out - our encounter in the shower. For a brief moment, she had smiled at me with genuine affection before kissing me again. Was it all just a ploy to manipulate me?

My thoughts spiraled into self-doubt and anger towards my friends, especially Wanda for exposing my vulnerability and feelings for Natasha.

"Why did I trust her?" I cried to myself.

A knock on my door interrupted my thoughts, but I ignored it. Using my powers to lock the door, I refused to let anyone in unless it was Bruce or Tony. But they persisted and eventually picked the lock.

Ready to defend myself with my magic, I sat up on the bed as they entered. To my surprise, it was Natasha who walked in with a gentle expression on her face.

"Did you not hear me? Last time I checked, you're not Tony or Bruce," I sniffled, trying to regain composure.

"I may not have a clean record like them, but I promise you, I'm not here to hurt you," she spoke softly as she approached me.

"Nat, please just go away," I pleaded.

"You'll have to make me if you want that to happen," she challenged with determination in her eyes.

I braced myself, ready to use my powers against her despite my reluctance to do so. But her words and gaze softened me, and I slowly dissipated the energy ball in my hands.

"That's it, Natasha. It's just me," she whispered, sitting at the end of my bed with a familiar hoodie in her hand - my favorite one.

But even the comfort of my cherished item couldn't ease the disgust I felt towards myself. "Giving me this hoodie won't change how I feel about what happened," I told her bitterly.

Her face fell at my harsh words, and for a moment, I regretted lashing out. But I pushed away any guilt and continued, "Why wouldn't I be disgusted? You slept with me to spite Steve, and now everyone sees me as a cheap whore you use when you need a boost."

Tears welled up in her eyes as she asked softly, "Is that how little you think of me?"

I paused, realizing I had let my hurt and anger cloud my judgment. "You're not denying it, so yes, I did think that lowly of you – no, wait, that's not true." My voice cracked with emotion. "I don't want to believe that about you."

"Y/n, listen to me. I didn't sleep with you to get back at Steve. I don't care about his opinion. But I care about yours," she pleaded with sincerity etched on her features.

She gazed into my eyes, her expression filled with sincerity and love. "You're not some cheap hooker or a whore, Y/n. I slept with you because I have real feelings for you. I couldn't resist acting on them the first chance I got," she confessed to me.

I felt a lump form in my throat as her words touched my heart. I was about to respond when she silenced me with a gentle kiss. My body responded instantly, melting into her touch. She pulled away after a few seconds, leaving tears in my eyes.

"Why the tears?" she asked, cupping my face in her hands.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier, Nat. It wasn't fair of me to judge you like that," I apologized, my voice trembling with emotion.

"Don't worry about that. I'm okay. Let's talk about it and I'll help you through it, if you want me to," she reassured me, rubbing my cheek tenderly.

I couldn't shake off the looks of judgement from everyone at the party. They made me feel dirty and ashamed. I know some of it may have been in my head, but Carol's words really got to me and made sense. I had been suppressing my feelings for Nat for so long, thinking they were wrong and that no one would accept us. But then we shared that moment in the shower and it felt right, until Carol's words brought all my doubts rushing back.

"Fuck it. I'm so in love with you," I blurted out, tears streaming down my face now.

Nat looked at me with so much love in her eyes that it made my heart swell with emotion. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and buried my head in her shoulder while she drew soothing patterns on my back.

"Thank you for listening to me," I mumbled against her.

"Hey, it's what I'm here for," she replied sweetly.

We pulled away and I took the jumper from her lap and put it on. She chuckled at me and I pulled her into my bed, pulling the covers over us. We both decided to keep our relationship private, but not a secret.

"You looked breathtaking tonight," Nat complimented me, her eyes filled with admiration.

"Thank you. The dress was for you," I blushed, feeling suddenly self-conscious.

"But I have to say, you are effortlessly gorgeous," she said with a smile.

"That's not true," I shook my head.

"Yes, it is. Even right now, lying here next to me. You are perfect in every way," I whispered softly.

"I'm not perfect, Y/n. Trust me," she said honestly.

"ты всегда будешь идеальной в моих глазах Наталья Романова," I whispered against her lips, reminding her of how perfect she will always be in my eyes.

She smiled into the kiss and lightly held onto my waist as I gently ran my fingers through her red hair.

"Не важно что," I mumbled against her lips, reaffirming that nothing else mattered to me.

"When did you learn Russian?" she asked with a curious smile.

"I learned it for you a while ago. I'm now fluent," I bragged a little, feeling proud of myself.

"How come you never spoke it before?" she questioned playfully.

"I was learning it to ask you out, but then you started dating Steve and all I knew how to say at the time was 'Natasha Romanoff, will you go out with me?' and 'I love you'," I laughed a little at the memory.

"Stop, please tell me you're lying," she groaned, burying her head into my chest in embarrassment.

"Unfortunately, no. But I continued to learn it so I could say things to you without the team knowing," I smiled softly at her.

Nat's eyes sparkled with love and adoration as she leaned in for another kiss, grateful for our secret language that only we shared.

My heart skipped a beat as her beautiful smile lit up her face. "Wait, you learned how to say 'I love you'?" she asked, looking up at me with shining eyes. "Yeah, it was one of the first things my teacher taught me," I replied, a fond smile tugging at my lips.

"Say it in Russian for me," she requested, her smile growing wider.

"But you already know how to say it in Russian," I said, confused by her request.

"Amuse me," she replied with a playful glint in her eyes.

My heart swelled with adoration as I spoke the words in Russian: "Я люблю вас."

Her smile softened and she echoed the words back to me: "я тоже тебя люблю, Y/N." It felt like an exchange of promises, a declaration of our feelings for each other.

She leaned in and kissed me, and I eagerly returned the gesture. In that moment, as we stood there with our arms wrapped around each other, I knew that I never wanted to be anywhere without her. She had tricked me into saying those three little words, but they were more than just words. They were a reflection of what we both felt deep in our hearts - love.

©Elena do not copy, edit, or translate my works.

[argisthebulwark]

We Can Get Lost, You & Me

summary: Scenarios that make them say please. gn reader, no pronouns or y/n used. feat: Vilkas, Miraak, Farkas, Brynjolf warnings: canon typical mention of blood/injury and death, sexually suggestive content. minors should not read or interact.

Vilkas says it through gritted teeth. Every inch of his body is screaming for him to close the distance between you - it’s a couple measly steps, after all. Only a few steps keep him from kissing you but he refrains. He refuses to lose this little game you’ve been playing for weeks; dancing around each other, flirty comments and touches meant to get under the others skin, the constant heat simmering heat between you. It’s as exciting as it is infuriating.  “Please.” He finally breaks, fists clenched on the arms of his chair. Your little laugh makes his blood boil when you climb into his lap, hands combing through his hair to tilt his head back. He relishes your fingers trailing over his jaw and the victorious smile on your lips.  “Does this mean I won?” You tease, though he’s too distracted to be annoyed. It’s so easy to slide his hands over your hips and draw you in, to finally indulge in what he’s wanted for too long. 

Miraak is not one to plead - he only says it when he is broken, when he is on the verge of death and has nothing left but you. When his eyes are wide and terrified, ink stained fingers grasping your armor as the world tilts around you. Your blade rests at his throat just as the prophecy described. Whoever foretold your future did not expect you to hesitate, to look into those deep green eyes and feel your heart wrench.  “Please, Dragonborn.” Miraak pants, blood staining the front of his robes. “Allow me one more chance.” “Why should I trust you?” In your heart you know that it is fruitless, your blade never sought to kill him. The only wounds you’ve left are superficial, a warning that you are as strong as him.  “You shouldn’t.” Miraak admits, each breath bringing your blade dangerously close to his skin. “Look into your heart, Dragonborn. Please, allow me a chance to earn your trust.”

Farkas looks at you with stars in his eyes, cheeks flushed and an easy smile on his face. He’s so gentle when he holds your face, kissing you until you feel dizzy. He’s so warm and close, all your senses dominated by him. Sunlight peeks through the hastily shut curtains alerting you that you’re late but here you sit, sluggishly untangling your limbs from his.  “Please don’t go.” He murmurs into your skin between kisses, eager hands exploring every curve of you. “You don’t have to leave, not yet.”  “I do have to leave.” You insist, though it’s far too easy to fall back into bed with him. Strong arms are around you before you can blink, lips trailing up your shoulder to your throat as he smothers you in kisses.  “Stay with me, please.” Farkas insists. Against your better judgment, you do. 

Brynjolf, who learned so long ago to shove his needs aside for the sake of others. The man who doesn't dare ask for a thing if it doesn't benefit the Guild, begs for one more day. Hell, he'd take another minute. His tears have dried, muscles sore from sobbing and pleading with whatever god bothers to listen to him. None answered, so his pleas are solely for you. "Please, love. Don't do this to me." He mumbles, stumbling through the snow. Mercer hadn't even bothered to bring your body back, leaving Brynjolf with a long trek. "Don't leave me." A senseless little spark of home remains in his heart - you cannot be dead. Surely he would have felt it. "Please, just come back. We'll figure it all out. I'm almost there, I'll get you home safe. Just hold on a little longer for me."

[galactiquest]

We all know how touch starved Knives is but what if his s/o was also touch starved to the point of clinging on to him like a kola or a backpack. Just thought it may be funny that he's just acts like it's just the norm walking around with his s/o hanging off him.

Touch-starved Knives? I'm already there. I'm in the theater, Anon. I've got my popcorn and my large drink and I'm ready.

This idea was so cute to me I decided to write you some little imagines and a bite-sized ficlet, too! Hope you enjoy!

Millions Knives x Reader: Touchy

Content Warnings: None again, just tooth-rotting fluff. Doesn't have any specific Knives incarnation in mind, since they're all ever-so untouched and in need of touching.

First off, don't expect him to outright admit anything, ever. Knives is very much a "if I don't think about it, it'll go away" kind of guy. So there's no way he'll ever come up to you and be like hey, guess who didn't get enough skin-to-skin contact as a growing youth, this guyyyy. But do expect him to start getting clingy once he realizes he can.

It's like getting your first taste of your new favorite food. Now that you've had it, you can't get enough. Suddenly he's pressing his hand up to yours while standing next to you (not handholding, he tried this once and got overwhelmed and had to go bite something for a while). Or he's hovering behind you, resting his head on yours. Or he's laying next to you, tracing patterns across your arm/shoulder/back/whatever's available and allowed to be touched.

It's one thing if you're fine with touch. But if you're touch-starved like him, on the other hand? You're trying to sap that same affection from him. Since he's quick to overwhelm (as previously stated) it can be hard at times, but he slowly, surely, gets used to the sensations of pressure and touch that aren't violent or painful, just kind and pleasurable.

So, the touch becomes more constant, more level, more in-tune with each other. It starts feeling very natural. And that natural-ness feels great.

Hugs. So many hugs. That feeling of pressure between the two of you is relaxing and reassuring. (Also you totally get pressed into those "airbags" of his if you know what I mean.) He's so precise with his movements that he can hold you at the exact tightness that makes you feel the best. Who needs a weighted blanket when you have the Compression Boyfriend?

Koala backpacking? Absolutely. 100%. Crawl all over this man. Crawl up him like a vine. He's so used to it by now, he just lets it happen, even in the middle of work. Sometimes he'll pretend you're not there, just for the giggles. Completely straight-faced, but makes you laugh like mad.

If this is Stampede Knives we're specifically talking about (though I personally think the other Knives do this too) then you get to sit next to him, or even on his lap, while he's at the piano. No naughty business--just being close to each other while he plays the keys. Or maybe he'll ghost his hands over yours and show you how to play/follow your playing, if you already know how.

Alright, a little ficlet below the cut just for you.

"...My liege."

"What?"

Legato frowned at the sight before him. There was important business to be done, and here Master Knives was, fooling around. Letting you, the human he'd bonded with, crawl all over him like an insect.

"If nothing's amiss, Legato, then let's get to work." Knives huffed and picked up the paperwork from the table.

You shifted around slightly on his back, head resting on his shoulder, watching as he shuffled through the papers. This was one of your little games with him--you'd hang out on his back, literally, and he'd pretend you weren't there. He didn't care about the game, really, but it made you laugh. And if it made you laugh (one of his favorite sounds, if he had any), it was worth it.

"...Master Knives."

"Spit it out."

"Get that human off your back."

Knives growled. "That human has a name, you know. Besides, there's no human on my back."

You stifled a laugh as you looked at Legato, mouth twisting downwards in a frown.

"Yes, there is." Legato pointed. "They're right there!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Knives shook his head, then turned around to procure some more files from a shelf. As he turned, you looked back to Legato and stuck your tongue out at him.

"You arrogant little--"

"Legato," Knives grunted. "If you mean to insult me, I'll gladly slice you open."

Legato fumed, then finally spoke again. "Not at all, my liege."

"Good." Knives leaned over to rub his head against yours for just a moment, then returned towards Legato. "Then, let's get to work."

End Notes: I have a soft spot for Knives. And a soft spot for Knives learning to love, well, love. This is also dedicated to my friend who lets me shout about Knives at them. You're the best, K!

[nyarumitsu]

in concept, larry is an incredible character and i love him dearly. as i ignore a ton of characterizations the game has given him. i don't think he WOULD be a creep okay and i don't think he's completely incompetent either.

he's a weirdo who frequently gets dumped yes, and he's incredibly silly and gets himself into a bunch of trouble every so often. he and maya's innate talents of getting themselves into trouble makes nick go insane. but, i think at his core he's just an incredibly caring friend too. he's not the sappy kind or anything, but does the most reckless shit to show he cares for his friends.

he was meant to be a pure comic relief character i know, and over time i think his characterization just got muddier and muddier compared to how cool his character was in aa1. but mannn, i wish we could've gotten more scenes with him just, being him in a non-creep-way. i just love his role within the signal samurai trio so much as the sole troublemaker and the guy he always bickers with (nick) and the guy who lowkey hates him in the most friend way possible (miles).

he's the type of character to always ask if the three of them could hang out again like good old times, and practically beg both phoenix and miles to get a freaking day off for once. and listen, worst of all, i don't think neither miles or phoenix hate him wow what a shocker!!! like i hate how ingame content makes it feel like they both genuinely do not enjoy his presence sometimes but of course i can brush it off as just standard friend-hate-relationships and whatnot. because i'm sure phoenix and miles care for him very much, probably even maya and gumshoe! he's apart of the family whether you like it or not!

and like, of course, i have to mention what on earth he could've been doing during the 7 year gap. there's various interpretations of whether nick was in constant contact with his friends or whatever, but if he did keep in contact with them as much as he could i think larry would be one of the people to worry about him the most. in fact he probably would even come over a lot! he could've helped babysit trucy sometimes when phoenix couldn't tend to her, and would've been a fire ass uncle if you asked me. he pretty much understands nick's situation too, going in and out of unstable jobs and getting unstable salaries from whatever job they're hanging onto for now. larry's just a really fucking good friend man. he's just an infuriatingly goofy man with lots of love for his friends and just gets into a shit ton of trouble.

[shuttershocky]

Penny for your thoughts about this thread? Just wanna hear some more opinions from people who work in the industry.

I don't want to fucking talk about pricing and monetization and markets and how F2P live service titles have warped the industry beyond recognition anymore.

The insights look good (of course they look good, this guy literally worked with Square Enix) I just can't fucking take it anymore I know what he says before I even finish reading the tweets and it's reminding me of how I started getting into learning game development in 2010-2011? (I don't remember anymore it's been that long) and EVERY SINGLE TALK AND MEETUP AND LECTURE WAS ABOUT MONETIZATION (to be fair, my local industry was a small one that could only really support mobile back then)

I watched all of this happen. I saw how the mobile industry's designs slowly bled out of mobile and into the AAA industry, warping it forever. I was in college when I first learned what minnows, dolphins, and whales were and why your games ought to be fishing for whales. I watched Team Fortress 2 go from a premium game you got all the content at the start to introducing lootboxes (they popularized that shit outside the gacha sphere btw, people blame Overwatch, but TF2 started that trend) to going F2P. I've been an active Dota player since 2012, meaning I was there when the concept of Battlepasses were first birthed into the world during 2013's The International 3 and which made other companies realize live service titles could gain yet another psychological hold on people to add on to World of Warcraft's skinner boxes.

"We are seeing standard singleplayer games no longer able to gain new audiences as they are crowded out by increasingly growing live service titles like Fortnite" "Why would someone spend 60 dollars to play FF16 for 100 hours when they could continue playing Fortnite and Minecraft and Roblox for free where all their friends are"

I have seen all of this before I remember when Overwatch first came out in 2016 a peculiar statistic was that almost every popular title at the time saw their playerbase drop as everyone moved to Overwatch, EXCEPT for Dota 2's because of how hard Valve had captured their audience to the point where they would not play other games. Of fucking course everyone else learned that was actually an incredibly efficient way to make money forever and they should do that too (except Dota was free and had all characters and all game mdoes unlocked for free, but these other games would now ask you for 60 dollars to play as 4 guys with a 100 hr grind for the rest)

I might feel a little unhinged right now because I have worked for two weekends straight and it's a Sunday night (EDIT - put it in drafts and it is now Monday and I am at work) and I'm still at work working on video games and tomorrow will be Monday and another work week working on video games where if we don't sell our upcoming titles my job is toast but fuuuuuuccckkk dude I just wanted to help make things that people would find fun

Capitalism and corporate greed (but I repeat myself) has twisted an industry that was already shitty in the 90s to be something hideous and completely hostile to the idea of creatives being able to make games that are meant to be played, finished, and remembered fondly and even wholly single player one and done experiences like Insomniac's Spider-Man games need to fill themselves up with checklists or else their audience will claim they got ripped off because the time they spent on it was simply not worth the money which STILL happened with Spider-Man 2 anyway

I'm not against live service games as a concept I love seeing a title like Dota get constant support since 2011 (or 2003ish if you want to count the original WC3 mod) and witness it grow and evolve with the times but I hate how it's become increasingly difficult for other games to exist.

I don't actually have a point to make here I'm just rambling. FF7Rebirth was fucking great though (and I hated FF7Remake as a game) so I hope it actually makes its sales target eventually so it doesn't scare Square into adding even more bullshit filler or worse into the 3rd game. I need to play Vincent Valentine with Rebirth's combat system. it's not a want, but a need. A thirst even.

[tojiluv]

EYES DON’T LIE — choso kamo [chapter two]

﹟ description: IN WHICH a girl unwittingly becomes involved with a handsome stranger in a club, oblivious to his true identity of being in a famous boyband… OR IN WHICH you and Choso must conceal your secret meetings from your friends and his bandmates, especially from his younger brother and your best friend, Yuji.

warnings: mentions of alcohol, suggestive content implied

note: choso kamo x fem reader. available on wattpad

Several days had passed since Yuji's mention of the impending party, and the confirmation of your invitation was secured through his direct persistence to Gojo. Now, on the eve of the event, you and Nobara found yourselves amidst the commotion of your apartment, surrounded by piles of scattered clothes, as you attempted to select the perfect outfits.

"Why do you have these?" Nobara questioned wearily, lifting a piece of clothing to your face.

You snatched the item, pushing it back into the closet with a nonchalant shrug. "It was an impulsive buy..."

Amidst the wardrobe chaos, laughter filled the air as Nobara shook her head. "Impulsive buys are dangerous, especially when we're scrambling to find the perfect outfit. Can't believe we're stressing over this."

Joining in the laughter, you acknowledged the absurdity of the situation. "True, true. But you know how Gojo is about parties – he expects everyone to be on their A-game, even with their fashion choices."

The girl sighed, "I guess we'll have to keep looking to meet those 'expectations'."

With a determined glint in your eyes, the search for the ideal attire continued. Laughter and exclamations resonated through the apartment as various clothing options were pulled out, and the pros and cons of each were debated.

"Oh! What about that lucky dress you wore weeks ago at the club?" Nobara exclaimed.

You scrunched up your face, "The red one?"

"Mhm, the one you got lucky with that handsome guy," She smirked, tilting her head, "What was even his name? I was too gone to even know how he looked like really and Maki kept taking care of me."

You sighed, dropping the rejected pile back into your dresser, "Well, I was a bit buzzed, and the club was too loud to hear him, but I think it started with a K? Uh, maybe Kai? Who knows."

"You don't even remember the name of the guy you slept with?!" Nobara's jaw dropped at the revelation.

"It was a while ago and a long night, I was buzzed!" You defended, grumbling at the realization that you forgot to ask for the man's information before he left.

"Mhm, a long steamy night indeed," Nobara voiced with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

You grabbed a pillow off your bed, hurling it across the room to hit your friend's head with a heated face, confirming her suggestive comment.

"Shut up!"

Almost two weeks prior, a decision was made among the girls to embrace a carefree weekend at the club and to have you get to know someone. Shots were taken to induce a bit of a buzz between you and Maki, yet the youngest in the group went wild with the free drinks that kept arriving from random strangers.

No complaints from your group, just keep them coming.

"Aren't we such lucky ladies, huh?" Nobara shouted in the loud club, tipping her head back to finish the strong liquor. Maki chuckled, sweat glistening from the extensive dancing they had indulged in. "You sure you mean all of us? 'Cause all the free drinks are gone because of you."

Shaking your head with a smile playing on your lips, you reveled in the moment with your friends. Despite the looming stress of school, Nobara had pulled you and Maki out of your apartments for a night of fun at the club. Though you knew you should've stayed home to study, the prospect of a carefree night outweighed your academic concerns.

While Yuji insisted on joining the three of you, Nobara strictly insisted it was a girl's night, and Megumi would rather chain himself to his room than go to a club.

Nonetheless, Yuji's constant messages flooded your phone asking about how the night was going and what you were doing, a testament to his eagerness in wanting to be part of the night.

Nobara abruptly sat down in the booth, her cheeks flushed as she scanned the bar for interesting company. You and Maki engaged in a conversation about her boyfriend, Yuta, and the plans they were making for his homecoming from his abroad trip. Suddenly, your arm was subjected to multiple hits from the side.

"Ow! What was that for!?" You shouted, twisting your head to glare at your drunk friend who persistently smacked you. The ginger-haired girl giggled, pointing across the bar to indicate why she required your attention. "Look over there, those guys are pretty cute, and one of them keeps checking you out!"

"What?"

Following her gaze, you took a moment to survey the scene, catching sight of the group she mentioned. Squinting in the dimly lit bar, you struggled to discern their features, but the eyes of one man met yours with evident interest.

"Huh, they are pretty good-looking..." You mumbled, maintaining eye contact with him as he glanced back and forth between his friend in front of him, and then back to you.

Maki tried to join in seeing what all the commotion was about, but the dim lighting made it hard to see any detailed observations. Shrugging her shoulders, she commented, "She's not wrong, that guy is checking you out. A bit much, may I add."

Nobara bumped her shoulders against yours, hiccuping as she slurred her words, "Go talk to h-him! Maybe this is your chance to get laid or ... even a boyfriend!" Your face suddenly felt hot under the scrutiny of your friends discussing your love life.

"What? No, no, I can't—"

"You can, who's stopping you, huh? Listen, go over, make a flirty move, and see what happens. What can go wrong?" Her challenging tone resonated.

"I don't know, possibly rejection? Plus, he's a stranger," You hesitated, unsure about making a bold move like that. Maki placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, squeezing away the tension. "If you don't want to, it's okay, but just know that we'll be here until you give us a safe sign."

Contemplating the decision, you pondered if tonight was the night to break out of your shell. Wanting to become more confident, you seized the opportunity fueled by liquid courage. With a shot in hand, thrown back with determination, you slammed it onto the table and made your way to the man who had captivated your attention.

Maki whistled lowly, "Go get 'em,"

Nobara cheered drunkenly, smiling from ear to ear, "Make it worth his wild!"

Playfully glaring at your friends, you returned your focus to the handsome man with... a tattoo across his nose? You were surprised to see someone with such distinctive facial ink. However, you were never one to judge, especially with how his eyes followed your every move with a hint of amusement.

The girls observed as you engaged in conversation with the mysterious man, laughter resonating between the pair. With only a few minutes passing by, the distance dwindled, your chests practically touching, and the liquor provided the courage to place your hand on his biceps, whispering something into his ear.

From their point of view, it seemed he was intrigued by your suggestion, nodding with a small grin as you walked him out of the club, hand-in-hand.

Your friends smirked, keeping a discreet eye on you from their seats, acknowledging the thumbs-up you threw as a safe sign before walking out the door with your mysterious friend for the night.

"Well, I think we should leave and make sure she gets home safe," Maki sighed, gathering her things to depart, glancing at her wasted friend, "Nobara?”

The girl placed a hand on her stomach with a weary smile, her head spinning too fast for her liking before mumbling, "Uh, I may need a few more minutes.."

The memory brought a playful grin to Nobara's face as she reminisced about that lively night. "Remember how we danced like there was no tomorrow? I've never seen Maki let loose like that before. It was a wild night for sure."

You chuckled, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, and you were the life of the party with all those free drinks. I swear, people thought it was your birthday or something."

Nobara grinned mischievously, "Well, it might as well have been. Free drinks, my best friend hooks up with a handsome mystery guy, and Maki dancing —what more could a girl ask for?"

Leaning forward, raising an eyebrow, she continued, "So, you never did tell us what went down... did you make it worth his wild as I said?" Rolling your eyes at her suggestive tone, you remained silent, though your heated face spoke volumes, eliciting laughter from your friend.

Make it worth his wild, more like the opposite, you thought, as that specific night occasionally invaded your thoughts, providing a welcomed distraction from lectures and work, leaving you to fan yourself from the memories every time.

You cleared your throat, shielding your face from your friend's prying questions. "Next subject, please!"

Suddenly, Nobara's eyes sparkled with a mischievous idea. "You know what? Why not wear that lucky red dress to Gojo's party, it might bring some extra excitement, don't you think? Just change the shoes and accessories,"

Considering the suggestion, the thought of the red dress evoking memories of that night, you pondered, "Hm, you might be onto something. It did bring some good luck last time."

She shot a cheeky smile and winked, "Exactly! And who knows, maybe you'll run into Kai again."

With a shared laugh, you agreed to give the red dress another go. As you prepared for bed, the anticipation of the upcoming party combined with the memories of the club night, created a sense of excitement for the party that awaited you.

⇽ chapter one | chapter three ⇾

© 𝐭𝐨𝐣𝐢𝐥𝐮𝐯 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

[spectrum-core]

STEPHCLAIR IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD

Alternative title: a very angry (and tired) Full Stop fan's thesis.

ok, so me being the stephan/sinclair comparison's strongest hater is a bit i really like to lean into, but for the sake of keeping things semi-serious i will try to keep the actual essay content as free of me ranting my frustrations as humanly possible (which i mean commitement to the bit aside this will be hard bc it is frustrating to see people calling them both the same character, at best it shows a very surface level understanding of either character and at worst it shows just reducing them to cookie cutter meme fandom archetypes neither character actually fits into, so bear with me if i slip up and make unserious comments from time to time)

so before i start the actual essay let me say this: this essay doesnt even scratch the surface of how much i hate this comparison you guys cant even possibly fucking imagine ive been obssessed and i mean OBSSESSED with the full stop office since 2021 and im glad i wasnt in the limbus prerelease fanbase because if i had to see people comparing my beautiful boy and beloved best friend to a guy we had no info about other than "hes based of the guy from demian" i would have turned into the joker this is not even about saving my own mental health this is about sparing the entire pjm fandom of the monster i would have turned into

spoilers for ruina and limbus, universe terminology heavy and surface level references and interpretations of demian by herman hesse because imma keep it real with you guys the first and only time i read that book i was still in high school and i barely remember shit.

Table of contents:

Stephan - a summary

Sinclair - a summary 2.1. Emil Sinclair in Demian (1919) 2.2. Emil Sinclair in Limbus Company (2023)

Addressing common arguments

1.- Stephan - a summary

And of course I will start with Stephan, because I love him very much, just like Liwei he's one of my favorite pjm characters (yeah i like him more than your favorite popular character don't ask) so it's not surprising that i have A Lot to say about him, right?

And of course, I do.

As I said in the serrated duo post, a core part of my perception of the Full Stop office depends on the fact that they are poor. Mentions of money are common all across many factions in the game, yes, but the Full Stops are extremely constant about money, how taking a wrong turn means losing more than they can afford, how they can't afford to drop their weapons because they were too expensive, how even getting the permissions to be able to buy and wield these weapons was ridiculously expensive and so on. Of course, Stephan is the one talking about this the most (something I will elaborate on later), but Liwei and Tamaki also make a few ocassional mentions to it in their dialogue and keypages and considering this is a shared business it just makes sense that this is something that affects all of them.

These are just some few of the callbacks to money that Stephan alone does in his dialogue, without focusing in keypage text or what Liwei and Tamaki have to say about it.

And idk man, at least to me the difference between social classes is an important aspect for their characterization, specially because of how constant the concern with money is for Stephan. From this point alone comparing them feels like erasing a core aspect of Stephan's characterization, a lot about Stephan (and the Full Stop office as a whole, let's be real here) starts making more sense once you read the office as lower-middle class (and I'm saying lower middle class because they can afford some place to live and their weapons, but to me these guys are the types who precisely because of their need to keep bullets at all times can't pay for water or electricity all the time and sometimes they simply can't afford food or if they do they can spend a week straight eating nothing but unsalted pasta).

Now, going back to Stephan being the most outward about his complaints with money, he is in general the most outward about all problems the office is facing, to the point in which he doesn't mind inconveniencing everyone else with his rants, being one of the few guests who interrupt Angela's introductory speech and getting into Tamaki's nerves (something he's well aware he's doing, as these two know each other) at least two times through the course of their pre-battle cutscene, even Roland comments after the reception on how he wishes he would always have been as open about his problems as Stephan was.

However, it's worth nothing that he doesn't spend the entire cutscene crying about his miseries, and he only starts losing hope at three key moments: when they can't kill Eileen inmediately (making them waste more bullets than needed), when Argalia shows up (forcing them to retreat and making them fail their mission, meaning they won't get paid for this after they already lost a ton of money, as well as turning the situation into something much more dangerous than what they had signed up for) and once they enter the Library (an Urban Plague grade threat they have little to no information about, when him and Tamaki are almost out of bullets so Liwei is essentially the only fixer with some chance of putting up a fight and, you know, making it out alive).

Now, while it's true that Stephan is someone who dislikes danger, he isn't someone who isn't used to seeing gruesome events, his instinctive reaction to seeing a guy getting his head put into a meat grinder was cracking jokes and calling the concept of thought gears "a load of horseshit", which is something that falls in line with him being a somewhat experienced Fixer (sure, grade 5 isn't amazing but we can assume it's still either in the higher side of average or barely above average, and for someone specialized in firearms, which are far from the best weapon in the city, getting that high means he must have some experience and skill, right? more so considering he's been at this for 5 years at most) who has seen a fair share of horrid shit and can be unfazed by (most of) it as long as his own safety isn't on the line.

Another point is... he dislikes danger and is always wary about money and expenses, to the point in which he enjoys checking his bank account (or at least he believes so, if we go for the theory of the artbook profiles being more a mix of what the characters perceive themseves as/would describe themselves as to others, which is a theory i go by, I see him as someone who's convinced he does that for fun instead as out of desperation), but this seems to be more a generalized feeling of impending doom at everything rather than something that can be traced back to a particular traumatic event (anything can be dangerous, anything can cost him money), dude's from the backstreets after all, he's seen shit and he's used to assuming the worst. How I see Stephan, he's a guy who already expects bad things to happen but once things go wrong he starts freaking out about how this time They're Screwed For Real, but he never really tricks himself into believing "maybe things will turn out just fine this time?" or who thinks "well, we've done this before, surely we can handle it again."

This is not very related to Stephan as a character in terms of personality but I think it's still an important point to make as it is particularly related to body mods, his physical condition and his body shape.

So we can easily say that Stephan is a strong dude, at least if compared to real world standards without the fancy and insane body mods we see people in the city have access to. He carries that huge rifle around with his bare hands, something that Tamaki doesn't do and that not even Stephan himself in earlier iterations of his dessign did, and his main talent (which based of my theories is something that can be assumed as "something he's proud enough of to consider it the thing he does best") is physical labor.

Pictured, Tamaki's talksprite, carrying a rifle almost as long as she is tall with a strap supporting the weight on her shoulders, like a normal person.

Also pictured, an earlier iteration of Stephan's dessign, carrying the same rifle his current version does, but also holding it with the help of a similar strap supporting the weight on his shoulders.

And finally, Stephan's current dessign, holding that shit with his bare fucking hands in an exhibition of his brute animal strength, what the fuck is wrong with this man (affectionate)

And Stephan's artbook profile, the important part here is his speciality being physical labor, not only he's strong but he aknowledges this.

However, I made a point about the Full Stop office being poor, right? Even Roland says that "giving a whole office augmentation procedures is cheaper than keeping a decent supply of bullets in stock" (not the exact phrasing).

At least personally, I see this as Roland essentially saying "it would be cheaper (and more efficient) to get body mods for everyone in the office and buy another (cheaper) type of weaponry instead", but as things stand, the Full Stops can afford to either buy more ammunition and maintain their weapons, OR to get body mods, and since their whole deal is firearms... well, they can't really Stop investing in them, meaning they have no body mods At All and they got their grades purely out of their own physical strength.

Similarly, Stephan makes a similar point about how body augmentations are required for people to be able to run while carrying their weapons around (specifically talking about the rifles he and Tamaki use).

And... you know, the whole point is that they couldn't run carrying their weapons because they were too heavy, Argalia mocked them for that, Liwei urged them to drop their weapons, something they refused to do because of the prices.

Lastly on this point, while it's true that Ruina talksprites have a very bad case of Long Anime Legs (to the point in which how Roland's legs take about 2/3 of his height is a common joke), if we focus only on his head and torso, Stephan looks pretty Wide, and not only because he's wearing thick, fluffy and multilayered clothing, as other characters wearing similar clothing styles still look thinner than him.

This is all to say: I don't think this guy is a twink, or thin at all. He's a prime example of the strongman build to me and this is yet another hill I'm willing to die on watch project moon turn him into a beanpole once he inevitably shows up in limbus and me turning into the first real world distortion as a consequence.

Finally, Stephan is very notoriously the most informal member of the office, not only being the only one who doesn't wear any sort of formal clothing fully prioritizing comfort and practicality over looks but also completely disregarding formalities with his attitude at work (again, he interrupts Angela's introductory monologue, and again, his first two lines when being introduced are him cracking jokes), being the only member of the office to swear on screen and using several informal expressions and metaphors through both the reception dialogue and his keypage story.

And for good measure, he's a compilation of Stephan being the creature he is.

The literal introduction of the characters, also known as the moment in which Stephan became one of my favorite characters because he's Just Like Me Fr

Very normal behavior for someone who hates blood and violence and isn't used to seeing it. This man is more than capable (and willing, assuming money is involved) to murder kill.

Which, I mean, this attitude is very different from what we see from Sinclair.

2.- Sinclair, a summary

In retrospect I probably should have made this one first because I'm gonna be honest with you, Sinclair is one of the sinners I care about the least (I still like him and think he's pretty cool mind you I just don't vibe too much with most of the tropes making up the character) so what I have to say about him is less me grasping for straws and subtext because I don't care enough about him to be bothered with a super serious and in depth analysis like I did with Stephan and more things we can explicitly see about him in game and things that happen in the novel Demian.

And if I can have a small parenthesis here, people saying that one of my favorite pjm guys Ever is in any way similar to a guy who despite being pretty cool is just Not the type of character I fully vibe with... really, it gets annoying fast. Anyway back to the serious analysis now.

2.1- Emil Sinclair in Demian (1919)

To be able to understand Sinclair as he is depicted in Limbus Company, it is important to first be familiar with the source material of the original iteration of the character, that's it we're doing your high school homework by compiling several literary analysis of a symbolic psychological early 20th century autobiographical novel i hope you guys signed up for this (and if you didn't, though luck! i will do this anyway, I love literary analysis).

In the novel, young Emil finds himself torn between the worlds of light (which can be equated to the Garden of Eden, but it's more tangible meaning for our protagonist is his childhood home and family, a serene and well structure/organized space where he can be innocent, untainted by the evils of the outside world) and darkness (basically all the scary shit that goes on outside, where people do evil things for the sake of it), he finds himself tempted by the violence of the outside world, particularly through the actions of his classmate Franz Kromer, which eventually leads him to consider that due to being exposed to this tainted world of evil he no longer can return to the world of good and innocence.

Here, the character of Demian acts as a guide, someone who helps Sinclair to trascend this binary perception of good vs evil and to see himself as someone worthy of happiness because him witnessing the world of evil didn't taint him as a person but rather merely showed him another face of the world, Demian here mentions the Mark of Cain as a symbol of mental strenght and freedom, considering that bearers of this mark are capable of making their own choices and should be able to go beyond their assigned roles, being able to embody aspects of both worlds. This is to say that Demian's view is less focused on good vs evil, instead taking a more order vs chaos approach (without giving an explicit moral character to either).

In the book, the symbol of a bird breaking out of the egg is frequently used to represent Emil's personal growth, the egg represents safety and innocence, but a bird must eventually leave the egg or it will die, and getting out of the egg is a process than can be seen as violent, as a bird must fight to get out of the egg, and getting out of the egg represents birth but also an irreversible change, it can be seen as breaking out of the world of light and getting permanently in the world of darkness since a broken shell can't be fixed, but it can also mean achieving the enlightment and personal balance to not feel permanently bound to a condition, place or state of being and therefore growing as a person by learning to see himself as a whole human instead of supressing his "evil side" by only forcing the "good side" to surface.

Max Demian is here to show this second meaning of growth/self improvement (while also explaining that Sinclair is permamently growing and must always keep this balance between all the parts conforming the whole being that is himself rather that trying to make parts of himself antagonize each other). This idea of personal growth being one of the core themes of the book.

2.2- Emil Sinclair in Limbus Company (2023)

With Sinclair's source media analyzed (at a very surface level, mind you), we now can start talking about the depiction of Sinclair in Limbus Company, how it parallels the book, why the book symbolism is important for this instance of Sinclair and so on.

When we are first introduced to Sinclair in the game he's clearly nervous, he doesn't know what he's supposed to do as he hasn't worked for a similar company before and he isn't used to the gruesome sight of the bus eating people, this does fit inmediately in the motif of a naive person with limited experience about the world (well, to be fair to him most people won't be seeing man-eating buses at a regular basis, but the average backstreets dweller would be familiar with equally violent situations).

With this said, despite Sinclair's obviously nervous behavior... he isn't really a pessimist like Stephan was, in fact, almost every chapter (counting cantos, intervallos and the short mini chapters such as the Dante's notes update episode) have at least one key moment with him trying to rationalize horrible stuff as something much less violent, or simply going "but I thought this thing didn't work like this..." when confronted with the more horrible realities in the city. He thought the G corp veterans were really going to let them pass without a fight, he thought the people being controlled by headhens were just actors wearing mascot costumes, he thought mermaids were the beautiful half-woman half-fish creatures he heard about in fairy tales, and there's more examples but I don't really feel like looking for The Entire Fucking Plot Because This Guy Is An Actual Protagonist Instead Of A Background Guy Like Stephan Was to make my point clearer than it already is. And it's only when he realizes that the real world doesn't fit his expectations that he panics.

Well, there is one exception to this pattern: his own canto. Here, he panics inmediately as soon as K corp's nest is mentioned and spends the first half of the chapter pleading to turn back while saying that they are going to get killed. So what is different here with the rest of the plot?

Obviously, the fact that is related to his very own very personal very specific trauma. That is to say, unlike Stephan who is wary of anything that can put him on danger or cost him more money than it should, Sinclair has a very specific traumatic event that makes him act Like That (sure, he gets scared and nervous outside that, but these are more normal "I'm unfamiliar with this and I don't fully know how to react, this is normal behavior in a human being" reactions than outright "I am Actually Terrified due to being reminded of an actual traumatic event, this reaction is a textbook definition of post-traumatic stress disorder").

HOWEVER, Sinclair being someone who's deeply traumatized and kind of a scaredy cat when it comes to violence and unfamiliar situations... it doesn't mean that he's incompetent or a bad fighter. Almost all of his identities are terrifyingly good fighters (at least in their lore), Los Mariachis fear jefe Sinclair, Cinq director Sinclair is someone most association members are terrified to duel even during training, Blade Lineage Sinclair is considered a talented killer (it's also worth noting that save maybe for the mariachi one, in none of these mirror worlds Sinclair is precisely happy of being recognized as "the guy who's very scary when he fights people", unlike Stephan who I don't think he particularly likes killing but has a more "as long as I get paid..." mentality about it), the only "not very good at this" Sinclair id I can think of is the molar boatworks id where he's more a mechanic than a fighter so he fears he's lagging behind in that aspect. Hell, even the Canon Timeline so to speak (which is to say: his base identity) has him carrying that huge halberd, going on a frenzy attacking some already mutilated inquisitor's corpse, piercing through Guido's armor and dealing a fatal blow that finally killed him for real. To compare, Stephan is good at physical work, but we don't know about his close combat capacities other than the fact that he dislikes it, for Sinclair however we know he's terrifyingly good at physical combat.

Now, I've seen a lot of people call Sinclair a twink and while it's one of these words that nobody agrees on what it means, let's give it the benefit of doubt and say "alright, for the duration of this analysis let's settle on a twink being a young looking (regardless of actual age), thin man with almost no facial/body hair".

Since Sinclair is a rich guy (not just Any Rich Guy though, we're talking of someone whose family had ties to a Wing, probably not some elite guy like Daniel or Hong Lu, but not a self perceived "mediocre" nest dweller like Samjo either), and pressumably not very experienced in combat in most mirror worlds (we know he has no prior experience in the base one where he joined Limbus, at least), let's say that he has enough body mods for him to be much stronger than he looks like despite being thin, he does look thin and young and much to my dissapointment he also has no facial hair, so yeah, under this very broad definition of the term he is a twink.

However if you start adding personality archetypes to the definition he stops being one almost inmediately, as we've been shown time after time that his "submissive" attitude is mostly a result of him not knowing too well how to impose himself and just going along with what the rest say or do, but he's starting to grow tired of that ever since Hell's Chicken (even if he clearly still isn't great at that), as it should be more than obvious for anyone who even just googled "demian herman hesse literary analysis", Sinclair is undergoing a lot of changes even now, and the game is doing a good job at portraying that.

Honestly I also think he'd be hotter with a sleeper build but really, I don't care enough about him to argue about that.

And for the last point, precisely due to his upbringing as a rich guy AND his traumatic experience with Kromer, Sinclair is not only a very polite and mild mannered guy (again, unlike resident creature Stephan), but also he tries to take as little space as possible, both literally and metaphorically, as Dante notices near the end of canto 3 when they finally comment on how Sinclair never talks about his own problems until it's too late because he doesn't want to bother the others as they probably have it worse (again, unlike Stephan "i don't mind loweing team morale and making everyone in the room uncomfortable as long as i get to vent" Full Stop office).

3.- Adressing common arguments

Alright, now that I talked about each character, let's see some of the most common arguments I've seen people use to compare them.

"They look the same!" No, they don't. The only thing they have in common is being blonde but even their hairstyles are different with Sinclair having a simple bowl-ish cut with slightly wavy hair and Stephan having curlier hair (not to mention the whole point I made about body types because I'm the sort of lunatic who cares about that stuff). I won't even bother with this argument.

"They have the same personalities!" Again, they don't. Stephan is very cynical with a lot of his attitude being clearly derivated from him coming from a poor background and having stayed there his whole life, he also doesn't care about his cynism getting in the way and bothering everyone else. On the other hand, Sinclair is someone who could almost be described as naive due to having lived a sheltered childhood and only having his experiences with Kromer and his time at Limbus as moments of realizing that the rest of the world is Not Like His Childhood House, still believing that the world is a binary of good vs evil and expecting things to turn out fine or be much better than they actually are, just to be hit with the reality of the city Not being a nice place where people are nice and polite and not trying to kill him, this is not to say he doesn't have his own issues but even Dante notices during his Canto that Sinclair makes a point to avoid bothering everyone else with his personal problems, keeping them to himself even if that makes things worse on the long run.

"Both are opposed and harmed by a lunatic!" This is an argument I've seen a lot and is incredibly filmsy at best, half of the city's population are lunatics and the other half are people who got opposed by them some way or another. Will you say that Ishmael and the rest of the Pequod crew can be compared to the Full Stop office (or really, even mention the other Full Stop fixers instead of just focusing on Stephan because he happens to be blonde and can be compared to Sinclair) because of their situations with Ahab? Or the W Corp crew who got their train targetted by Jae-heon and Elena (or, you know, the train passengers who were turned into Love townspeople or puppets)? What about the Vermillion Cross who got killed by the Reverb Ensemble? Or the Cane office fixers? or the Zwei association section 6 who got beaten to death by Gyeong-mi just because he felt like doing so? Or the Liu association section 1 who had to deal with Argalia taking Philip away? Or the Kurokumo clan members when they were attacked by Tanya? You aren't comparing them to either Stephan or Sinclair, right? Not to mention that in her weird and fucked up perception of things, Kromer was less opposed to Sinclair as she was trying to lead him to join her and her cause, even the last things she says before getting killed are her calling him to follow her.

"Both are compared to birds!" Oh, right, because I forgot that a very directed symbolic comparison to a baby bird breaking out of it's shell as a symbol of rebirth, learning about the nuances of the world and self improvement/liberation that is consistently used in the source material Sinclair comes from is exactly the same as one (1) throwaway line the big bad guy uses to mock not only Stephan but the whole Full Stop gang, right. And if you want to say "but Tamaki compares him to a bird once too", yeah she calls him a parrot because he keeps repeating the same complaints over and over, it's still not the same as a consistent metaphor.

"Both are sad blonde twinks! They're essentially the same guy." Sad? Yeah, everyone in the city is sad but their ways to be sad are polar opposites, and neither of them is the pure cinnamon roll uwu crybaby archetype people tend to lump both into, Stephan was merely having a bad day and people decided to make that his whole personality (when honestly we get more insight on his actual personality before Argalia shows up, when he's making sarcastic remarks and getting impatient because they weren't starting killing people fast enough) but he's still perfectly capable (and willing) to murder people, and Sinclair is just... someone who lacks experience about the real world and how it works and has a tendency to get nervous because of this, but he can adapt quickly to situations once he understands them. Blonde? Yeah, but I guess if that's a point to draw a comparison then we should also compare them to Don Quixote, the Tiphereths, Lenny, Yun, Lulu, Olga, every single npc, librarian, and agent who comes with blonde hair from the generator... Twinks? Stephan absolutely isn't one, Sinclair depends on how you define twink as nobody seems to get to an agreement with that, if you define it as merely "young looking thin man with almost no visible body hair" then yeah he is one, but if you go for any more specific definition than that he stops fitting into the definition almost instantly.

In conclusion: if I see anyone else comparing them I'll start blocking people liberally bc I'm sick of seeing that shit (I do that already tbh but just so you know), now scram

[mindstriker]

i would love to hear your Five Points of Vaughn Contention actually

HELL YEAH HERE WE GO

Vaughn was my second favourite character in TFTBL and I am Pissed on his behalf for what happened to him in 3 for several reasons. Precisely 5. Which I have decided to present in order of importance to me personally. Putting this under a read-more for everyone's sake.

Number one: The like, naked man thing. Hygeine. You name it.

Listen. I have no problem with the idea that after living on Pandora for an extended period of time would make him visibly more disheveled/rugged- I mean, even over the span of TFTBL we clearly see him progress from clean-cut accountant to like. Pandoran enthusiast. I also don't have a problem with the idea of his appearance getting a bit wilder post-the deaths of the Children of Helios. Obviously that could have caused him to lose a lot of stability and organization in his life, and wandering Pandora alone could lead to him getting overall sandier and less composed than before- but are we actually taking the funny "oh he took his shirt off in the desert before" scene and deciding that he's decided to spend his time hanging around in nothing but dirty underwear? Because... it's funny? It's just another part of the "Vaughn is a belligerent idiot who can't take care of himself" schtick that 3 forced onto him in the name of ignoring genuine character development for snark, and I hate it.

Which leads me into my second point: The whole "I love Pandora now and I'm soaking up the thrills" thing never should have led into Vaughn idolizing bandits. It doesn't fit his motivations for getting attached to Pandoran life in the first place or his previous actions.

Vaughn in TFTBL liked the adrenaline of doing something risky and wild for once in his life, and encountering a new and thrilling environment- but that doesn't translate to "heehoo bandit appealing". He liked the thrill of fighting for his life, not the thrill of... banditry? He was pumped up by the chaos of Pandora, but he still *cared* about other people and wasn't thrilled about violence or happy to be brawling with other people- hell, he organized a pacifistic group of survivors. Why the hell would he idolize bandits? You know, the people who are KNOWN for dying horribly out in the desert and killing people for shits and giggles?

Sure, he's excited about working with Fiona and Sasha, who he refers to as "grifters" at one point- but working with "grifters" isn't that different from working with... you know, his literal friends from Hyperion who are also grifters, just of the corporate variety? There's an element of moral bankruptcy slightly present in him- in ALL of the Hyperion employee characters we see in-game- but his brand of dubious isn't violent bandit, it's more "you could talk me into a bank heist for the thrills". I don't buy the translation of "overall well-meaning guy with a kick for adventure and risk and a little bit of chaos" to "kicking around in the dust with whatever scumbags I can find who act like frat boys".

Again. I understand that watching the Children of Helios' pacifism plan fail, leading to their deaths, could have led to him becoming more militant. My problem lies in the way that this was written. Why did they go the course of "oh yeah the people he essentially led and tried to take care of post-Helios fall all died, surely he'd immediately begin fawning over the type of people responsible for their deaths like an asshole" and not "sure yes he'd probably be forced to give up his pacifism but we're going to take this seriously and maybe explore the idea of a character who tried and failed to make a good, fun, risky-but-not-cruel life for himself on Pandora and failed". I would've preferred it if they played the angle of his risk-taking behaviour and Pandoran survivalism taking on a new aspect: maybe something akin to vigilante behaviour or... literally anything else. Joining the Crimson Raiders because if he's going to be in a constant brawl, it might as well be on the side of someone he vaguely knows to not be brutal and evil, instead of crawling to them after getting kicked out by bandits. In general, I hate the way that they barely had him react to the Children of Helios' deaths without so much more than a "oh yeah haha they had laser pointers- shitty idea, they died but I'm fine now". He... went to the trouble of trying to help and lead those people even though they were strange and prone to idolizing Rhys. You want to tell me he was heartless enough to barely care beyond a "whoopsie" joke about them? When he's clearly a character that cares enough about his friends- notably even one who possibly lied about/was in cahoots with Handsome Jack- to the point of arranging a risky ass scheme to rescue them?

Anyways. This is already long as hell but points number three and four: Vaughn was never incompetent, just prone to risk-taking behaviour- and goofiness doesn't have to equal stupidity or a lack of any actual substance. Two things 3's writers clearly didn't understand.

Yeah, Vaughn was the butt of the joke a lot in TFTBL, but being the comedic relief didn't also prevent him from having like- an actual productive character arc culminating in him becoming a confident man capable of leadership and not stumbling over his feet as much in a strange new world. His funny "bro" behaviour and newfound love for chaos weren't his primary character flaws, or the things dragging him down/making him incompetent and irritating, they were some of the catalysts for his development into someone capable of enduring Pandora for long periods of time. There was a balance between him getting dunked on for giggles, and acknowledged as a character who was actually important to both the other characters in the game and to the overarching story.

And yeah, alright- he did things like "try to have a pacifistic society on Pandora, ye planet of war" and "try to rescue a friend with the use of laser pointers"- but those worked. Risky choices, yeah, but not belligerently stupid ones. Vaughn was smart enough as an accountant to divert funds and fuck with him and Rhys' access to things, he has lines in TFTBL where despite his nervousness and mounting excitement he acknowledges risks like desert dehydration, demonstrating at least some variety of survival competence- he just wasn't stupid! He really wasn't! They made him stupid because they thought it was funny, and all they accomplished was making him annoying.

And finally, point five: Irony poisoning and everything else aside. Why did they decide to split Vaughn and Rhys up in such an anti-climactic way? I mean, this feeds into a way larger issue I have with BL3's segment featuring TFTBL characters (If we can have an entire segment about what Rhys is up to, can we PLEASE interact with Fiona in some way, or at least get an explanation/exploration of where her and Sasha went post-TFTBL???) I could understand the TFTBL gang splitting up post-game. Sasha wants to travel and explore, Fiona has expressed a clear interest in becoming a VH herself- a pursuit that takes a lot of travel and which would put her under the radar to her friends, and Vaughn prefers to stay on Pandora whereas Rhys obviously fucks off to Promethea to rebuild Atlas. But you're telling me none of them even try to stay in contact? You're telling me Rhys and Vaughn had a falling out? Over WHAT? If you're going to write it in at least make it believable, because the way things were left in TFTBL I would've been shocked to see them not still being the closest members of the original group post-game. They both made new lives for themselves, yeah, but if anyone was going to keep in touch regularly- it would be them? Why aren't they working together to some degree? Vaughn was very technologically literate in the past, are we acting like him adapting to Pandora suddenly means he's never going to use the ECHOnet or other tech to establish long-distance connections or accomplish things again? He seemed to like being tech-savvy, please. Why did we split everyone up in the shittiest way possible with minimal coherent explanation? WAUGH.

[tarotoftheendless]

Forever Waiting: Waiting for Forever 0.5

Here it is guys, the first chapter of my little fanfiction about our beloved Will Donner/Willie Pajamas.

It is more mature than the film, so I will try to add the proper tags and warnings as we go forward.

I would like to thank @thoughtsfromlayla for being a beta reader and editor for me. Thank you for letting me show you this film so that you have the context needed for understanding my crazy plans and ideas for this fanfiction.

And I want to thank @dragon-kazansky for beta reading and just being my biggest encourager and cheerleader when actually getting started on writing this crazy wild fanfic. She has also made and provided the Chapter Cards. Thank you so much, and I love you!

I am excited for y'all to meet my OC Jules, she is cool and complicated and totally in love with our princess Willie.

Without further ado, here is Chapter One of Forever Waiting. Enjoy!

MASTER LIST/NEXT

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Forever Waiting

Summary:

Jules Smith is the twin sister of Joey. She has been in love with Will Donner, Willie, ever since they were children. But with Willie's constant fixation being Emma Twist, Jules has been content to suffer in silence. And then Willie has come back to their home town in Pennsylvania, but for Emma, not for her. How will they handle seeing each other after so many years and barely speaking in that time?

Warnings/Tags:

Over all angst for this chapter, some swearing if that bothers you. One-way pining. Clueless man is dense as fuck.

Chapter One: Don’t You (Forget About Me)

Friday, October 3rd, 2008 

Taft, Pennsylvania

10:23am

Jules’ POV

Sitting in the back room of my brother’s business, even as messy as it was with boxes of over-stock scattered everywhere, I was wasting time on my Blackberry playing Solitaire with one earbud in. The sound of the electronic bell of the front door of the store barely registered with me. Not much was happening in the shop this early in the morning so I was taking my break early. I was going to be leaving soon anyway because of an event I had this evening to get ready for. 

Then I hear my brother yell for his wife, my sister-in-law, to come here, even the sounds of Peter Steele’s sultry voice in “Love You To Death” can’t keep me from being mildly interested in what was going on. Closing out of my game app, I pause my music, taking out the one earbud I had in and then wrap the cord around my phone before stuffing the device in my side pocket of my cargo pants.

Then I hear my brother say, “It’s Willie!” And my heart both drops and began to beat faster. Dolores repeats the name. He is back. That can only mean that so was she; Emma.

Getting up from my reclined position in the chair I had chosen to take my break in, I stand, stretching. Then finally I made my way through the doorway, going down the small hallway that led to the sales floor.

As my twin and his wife greets Willie, I settle behind the counter, leaning against it, just watching. He hugs Dolores, or Dee as I called her, and then got up on a chair to better hug my abnormally tall brother. Biting my lip, likely chipping the matte black finish of my lipstick, my heart beat faster when I notice how good Willie look.

“You gotta introduce me to this one,” Willie says as he moves around to sit in my nephew’s kiddy chair, my sister-in-law urging Gabe to say ‘hi’ to Willie. Part of me finds this very endearing but the other part of me is mad at him for not being here for his birth. Yet my brother still named Willie Gabe’s godfather.

The last time I saw him was when he came up briefly from Oregon to be the best man at Joey’s wedding, and I was Dee’s Maid of Honor. I had barely spoken to him then. I hadn’t seen him all throughout highschool because he had stopped visiting in the summer after middle school. It had hurt every time. Though he had stayed with my family because Joey was his best friend before the accident, Willie was never here for us, his best friends. He was always here for Emma.

That’s when it dawns on me.

Joey had gone to the local grocery mart downtown about five days ago on a big shopping spree to stock up on stuff for the house. With him providing for himself, his wife and his kid on top of me living in their basement, we go through food pretty fast. The thing I realized though was that if Willie is back, that means Emma is back, and the only place my brother gets his Emma gossip now is from the loose-lipped older lady cashiers at the mart. That is also where Emma’s mother, Miranda, shops. Miranda is almost as bad as Willie is when it comes to Emma; ‘Emma this’ and ‘Emma that’.

Watching Willie sit in one of the kiddy chairs, playing with Gabe, made my heart just ache. He was always beautiful to me. He has definitely come into his own style, really leaning into the vagabond hipster look with the black bowler hat, blue and white plaid pajamas, cherry red hightops and black up-buttoned vest over a well worn graphic T and pajama top with the sleeves rolled up. And his smile? To die for.

Finally his gaze lifts from playing with Gabe, his eyes meeting mine. I must have looked shocked because his expression changes to one of delight to confusion and another emotion I couldn’t quite place. He blinks his eyes multiple times as he looks at me. Seeing this well known tic of his had all our childhood memories flooding back.

“Jules?” He almost whispers the question as both Joey and Dee turn to look back at me. I almost wish I had stayed in the back to finish out my break.

“Hi, Willie,” I answer back almost as quietly, giving him a small smile that didn’t quite reach my eyes.

Putting down the rubber duck he had been playing with to entertain my nephew, Willie gets out of the child’s chair and bounds over to me. Not exactly wanting him to jump up onto the front counter, I move from behind it onto the sales floor.

Willie pulls me into one of his signature all encompassing embraces and I barely have time to register what is happening. For a moment my arms hang at my sides, unsure what to do. My eyes meet my brother and he gives me that look that is basically telling me ‘Don’t be weird’, so I return Willie’s hug. He holds me for a few more seconds and then pulls away.

“Look at you, when did you grow up to be so pretty?” Willie muses as his fingers found my exposed waist, making my heart flutter but I pull away from his grasp before he realizes the effect he has on me.

“You saw me three years ago, at their wedding, did I not look good in pastel pink or something?” I counter as I drop my gaze, my hand reaching up to tuck my hair behind one of my ears.

“No, you just look different, that’s all. The purple is new,” Willie indictates with his pointer finger towards my hair, which is in a longer shag cut and a plum purple color.

“Well, maybe I was sick of being recognized as his sister,” I motion my head towards my brother, who puts his hands up in surrender.

“With how short you are, sis, I don’t think people mistake us for twins as much as you think,” Joey chimes in as he walks up to Willie and I, leaving his wife to play with my nephew.

Dee turns her head towards us to look over her shoulder at her husband, smiling teasingly as she plays with the bead maze to entertain Gabe. “If Jules had been taller, I would have married her instead. She has nicer… assets…” Dee finishes with a wink at her husband, who rolls his eyes at his wife in response.

Feeling slightly uncomfortable with the line of conversation, I start to inch away ever so slightly from my brother and Willie. “Well, it was either someone helping you reach things in the top cupboard or curves that could kill, it’s not my fault you chose my flat-assed brother.”

Willie just giggles at the exchange and my heart almost stops at the sound of it. He is such a dork and yet that is the very thing that made me fall for him when we were kids before his parents passed.

Joey feigns an offended look on his face, putting his hands on his hips in a mock scolding stance. “Hey, young ears are present. Secondly, I take offense to that, I think I look just fine,” He twists his body so he can get a look at his khaki-covered behind. Dee stands from playing with Gabe, my nephew completely oblivious to the ribbing that is taking place, and moves over next to Joey. 

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, dearest," She says as she links arms with him. They give each other a challenging look that to me says that this conversation should not be happening in my brother’s business, let alone in front of his 2 year old.

Willie and I share a look, he appears amused as he has always loved - well - love. I blush, quickly diverting my gaze back to my brother and sister-in-law. And as if my prayers were answered, a couple of customers, an older man and woman, opened the glass door, stepping inside.

“Oh, thank god, I thought I would have had to remind you two that you have an audience… but hey customers! You got this, right, Joey? Yeah? Good. I’m gonna dip. I need a smoke.” I say as I turn on my heels, not even as much as glancing at Willie. Though I feel him watching me walk away towards the cash register counter. 

As I make it back to the backroom to grab my purse, a very worn black and white tie-dyed hippie purse, I hear Willie ask, “Is she okay? Something felt… off? I’m not sure.”

Hearing him ask that makes me pause and listen for a moment as I grab my phone from my pocket again, unraveling my headphones.

“I’ve got them, and Dolores can be with Gabe. I think you should talk to her, Will.” I hear my brother say to Willie. I just can see in my mind's eye that Joey likely put his hand on Willie’s shoulder, and Willie having that very confused yet concerned look on his face. 

My anxiety spikes, my craving for nicotine getting steadily worse. Joey knows how I feel about Willie, Dee does not. I made Joey promise to never tell anyone. I think that he is trying to help, but with Emma in the middle of it all, I know that my brother knows that I don’t want to make things more confusing for Willie.

Leaving the backroom with my purse on my shoulder, I turn left to go to the back door. Opening it, the heat of early October is still clinging on as I step onto the back landing and walk down a couple steps to sit down. Fishing out my lighter and pack of cigarettes, I light one, take a drag, and immediately feel a calm wash over me. I put my phone in my lap, stuffing one earbud in my left ear, the melodic strains of ‘These Things’ begins to play.

I don’t even turn my head when the door creaks back open and out of the corner of my eye I see the flash of red, well worn Converse. Silently, Willie sits next to me, his shoulders and thighs pressed against mine, the closeness familiar as though it was still the summers between our middle school years.

“When did you start smoking?” He asks quietly, his eyes studying my face as I kept my eyes forward. 

The back of the shop had a street and park on the other side of it and there were just kids playing and parents talking while they kept watch over them. In the grassier part of the park had both couples and individuals laying on blankets, either reading or having picnics. People watching is what I usually do when I have a lot on my mind.

Taking a drag then blowing out the smoke away from his face, I sigh. “Why? Are you judging me?” Turning my head to meet his gaze, I keep a serious face. He has that deer in headlights look for a moment. I smile at him and nudge him gently. “Fucking hell, Willie, lighten up. You’re fine.”

He smiles at me, but it isn’t as bright at that first smile he gave me when he hugged me. Sighing again, I answer his question, “Oh you know, got in with a bad crowd, picked up bad habits just to deal with those two.” I gesture my head back to the closed door behind us to emphasize that I am in fact talking about Joey and Dolores.

Flicking my cigarette so the ashes fell on the ground, I leaned into Willie to whisper close to his ear. “And on full moons, I run naked in the woods and bite the heads off of live chickens.”

That gets a laugh out of him and he nudges me back. “There she is, my dark humored best friend,” he says as he reaches a hand over to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. It takes everything in me to will the heat away from rising to my cheeks.

“I am kinda surprised you are working for Joey though, appliances don’t really seem like your thing,” he comments as he does an up and down look at me. I had always been edgier than Joey and even Willie, favoring darker colors and more macabre topics and music. 

My current outfit has Willie overanalyzing me and I shift uncomfortably next to him. I am suddenly conscious of my dark camo cargo pants with my tight altered cropped band T of Rob Zombie, the print of it cracked and fading. Willie’s eyes stay on the exposed skin of my midriff for longer than I would want him to, especially since he has friend-zoned me. Luckily his eyes moved down to my shoes. I have on my crimson red Doc Martens.

“Did you ever start that band? You look like a rockstar,” he says, the sincerity coming through his voice, but also he sounded regretful. The last summer he had stayed with my family, I had expressed that I wanted to start a band with some school friends.

“Yeah, actually we did. I have a gig tonight downtown,” I say, taking another drag of my cigarette.

“Really? That’s amazing. What’s your band’s name?” Willie asks, excitement in his voice as he catches my eyes. I had forgotten how blue his eyes were and I couldn’t look away.

Smiling at him with a knowing smile I say, “Suicidal Wyrms, but with Wyrms spelled with a ‘Y’ instead.”

Willie chuckles. “Wait, you named your band after a conversation we had over a decade ago?”

Nudging him again, I laugh and say, “It was a good name, though obviously we had to make it more metal. I even got a tattoo of the logo on my thigh.”

Leaning away from me on the steps, Willie eyes me up and down again. “You got a tattoo? Can I see it?” His hand finds my thigh, poking me in a teasing manner.

I lean away from him a little more, pushing him as I laugh at him. “No, I’d have to pull down my pants and we’re in public, Willie. Jesus fuck.”

Dropping my cigarette on the cement step by my feet, I put it out with the ball of my shoe.

“Fair enough, Jules,” Willie chuckles again. He takes off his bowler hat and puts it on my head. I scoff playfully, making him laugh again. “I missed you, Jules, really.”

Sighing, I lean forward resting my elbows on my knees, my head resting on my hand. Turning my head, I met his gaze. “You could have written to me, you know.”

His expression softens to one of regret. “I know… I guess I just assumed Joey would have updated you on my comings and goings.”

Groaning, I stretch my legs out on the steps, breaking eye contact with him. I place his hat over my face for a few moments before taking it off again and placing it in his lap. He is peering down at me with worry etching in his brows. I can feel my phone start slip from my lap, so I put a hand over it to hold it in place.

“I thought we were closer than that, Willie. I taught you to juggle. I let you steal this hat that last summer. You shared everything with me. When you lumped me in with my brother and just the ‘family’ when it came to getting updates on your life, I guess I was just a bit…” I trail off realizing I maybe shared more of my feelings than I wanted to, but I couldn’t stop myself.

“A bit hurt?” Willie offers. As he tears his eyes from me and focuses forward as he sat on the steps next to me, I could see shame on his face. He feels bad.

Sitting back up, I reach out to pinch him on his thigh right above his knee. His eyes followed my movements, but he didn’t react. I knew he couldn’t feel a thing right there as the nerve endings were severed from a childhood accident.

“Yeah, a bit hurt. You’re my best friend, Willie. I have hated the fact that we grew apart. I really could have used your friendship in highschool.” I say as I lean up against him, resting my head on his shoulder. He put an arm around me, his fingers cool against the skin on my ribs.

“I know, and I’m sorry. Just before highschool I got the impression that you didn’t want to hear about my life anymore.” Willie sadly muses.

“One frustrated disagreement did not mean I never wanted to hear from you again, Willie. I was just frustrated, that was it.” I admit to him, hoping to start to clear the air between us.

His answer to that was to kiss the side of my forehead, squeeze me one more time, before releasing me. He grabs his bowler hat, putting it back on.

“I wish we had been able to say these things a long time ago then, Jules. I really missed you too. I have done so much, gone to so many cool places. It would have been nice to talk to you about it, specifically,” he says, catching my gaze again.

“How is Emma? You being back here must mean she is back,” I ask him and there is an emotion that washes over his face that I can’t quite read before he shakes it off and smiles at my line of questioning.

“Joey called me four days ago. Her dad’s sick,” Willie explains.

“Joey didn’t tell me…” I say, my words kind of veering off at the end. “And what is your plan? Are you finally going to tell her?”

Willie drops his gaze to look at his shoes, his fingers clutching the fabric of his pajama pants. He’s nervous, I can tell.

“I plan to… either today or tomorrow,” he confides in me. 

“Well, if you don’t tonight, you should come see my band play. It’s at a bar next to your brother’s work. I’ll make sure you get the VIP treatment, no cover charge and free drinks.” I hope I am more enticing than Emma. “And besides, you said you wanted to see my tattoo, my get up tonight will be showing it off for all to see.” I nudge him, teasing him a bit.

He smirks and looks at me with humor in his eyes again. “Yeah, sure, maybe I could do that.”

Leaning over, I kiss him on the cheek. When I pull back I smile and say, “Good.” Reaching up, I lift his hat and ruffle his already kinda messy brunette hair. He laughs at me, grabs the hat back before flattening down his hair again and putting his hat back on.

I stick my tongue out at him and help fix his bangs so that they are hanging over his forehead just right in his hat. “There, gorgeous again,” I say as I smile at him playfully.

He blushes, but tries to recover quickly. “What are you listening to?” He points to the earbud that isn’t in my ear.

I hold it out to him so he can take the earbud. “Just a bit of Siouxsie,” I say as he puts the earbud in his ear to listen with me. ‘Spellbound’ is playing and he smiles.

“Moon child,” he muses, his little nickname for me.

“Sweet summer child,” I answer back, my nickname for him, though he was born in December.

My brother has once called Willie the sun to my moon as Willie was always someone who could cheer me up when I was down, and I had been able to anchor Willie when he got dragged out on the tide. After my brother’s wedding, even though I hadn’t reconnected fully with Willie back then, I had gotten a sun tattoo over my heart. I am thankful I am wearing a T-shirt that has it covered right now as I am not ready for him to know that I had gotten that tattoo, let alone that he is the reason for it.

Before he have to leave because of his parents' deaths, Willie and his older brother Jim had been my family’s neighbors. We used to see each other everyday and Emma was always his topic of choice. We all went to school together, and Emma lived a couple neighborhoods over, a playground and park separating us from her. 

Though I saw him everyday, he was always so excited for his playdates with Emma. I don’t think he really remembers that Joey and I were there whenever she was around. I might have been Willie’s moon, but Emma was his North Star. 

There were times where I thought just maybe he noticed me staring at him, but he never did. If he did he never mentioned it. I think he just saw me as Joey’s twin sister, one of his oldest bestest friends. 

Willie had always had his head in the clouds, easily distracted, daydreaming, talking to himself if he wasn’t gushing about Emma. Joey and I, and then Dolores when Joey had started dating her in middle school, had always been understanding of what Willie was going through. He had always been different, even before the accident, but after the accident, he changed. That’s when the talking to himself got worse and his attachment to Emma got all encompassing. 

Jim never understood it, and it really pissed me off. In my eyes, Jim was always trying to clip his brother’s wings, and that made me hate him.

As the song changed on my phone, I take the earbud out of Willie’s ear. He turns his head to look at me questioningly.

“I gotta go get ready for the gig, Willie,” I explain as I wrap my headphones around my phone again and grab my purse from the top step behind me. Putting my phone away and slinging my purse over my shoulder, I stand up, walking down the last couple steps.

He just simply nods and looks at me with those baby blues that just melted my heart.

“The door is unlocked, go visit with Joey, Dee and Gabe. They have missed you too. I can’t monopolize all your time after all,” I say with a reassuring smile. He smiles back at me in such a way that makes me just wish I could tell him how I feel, completely derailing his reason for coming back to Taft. He stands and stretches then makes his way back onto the top landing.

As he reaches for the handle of the backdoor I call out to him, “Please consider coming to the gig, Willie. It starts at 10.”

He grins again, nodding, then opens the door to go back inside my brother's appliance shop.

Sighing, I begin to walk the couple blocks home. Making sure I keep my feelings for Willie a secret might be harder than I thought. Or will I be able to count on him being dense and his focus staying on Emma? My mind raced as I made my way back home. 

I thought back to why he may have felt like he couldn’t confide in me anymore.

***********************************************************************

Saturday, August 28th, 1999

Taft, Pennsylvania 

2:43pm 

Jules’ POV

It was the last day of summer. Well, for me it was. Willie was going back to Cape Cod tomorrow so he could get ready for the beginning of his school year. The first year in high school for all of us; me and my twin Joey, Dee who just started dating my brother a year ago, Willie and then Emma. 

It was hot and muggy, so Joey suggested we go to the swimming creek on the other side of the park, past Taft Woods. We all thought that was a great idea, even Emma, who Willie had insisted on hanging out with us. Never wanting to deny Willie his happiness when it came to Emma, saying no didn’t feel like an option to me.

After we got dressed in our swimsuits, we raced each other on our bikes, pedaling our way across town.

I was pretty proud of my restored Schwinn bike that I was riding. I had spray-painted it glossy black with gold accents, giving it a very gothic appearance. Even my wicker basket I had painted black and nailed old baby doll heads and parts to it, all made to look dirty with red paint to make them look bloody. Willie had told me he thought it was cool, but Emma had turned her nose up at it.

The boys were just biking in their trunks, whereas Dee, Emma and I were in shorts and our bikinis. Both Dee and Emma wore pink tops and had blue denim shorts on. I, however, had started to favor black more than girly colors, so my shorts were gray and my top was black. Willie wore blue and my brother wore red.

What we wore stood out so intensely in my mind, though I don’t know why. My hair was still mousy brown and so long it touched the top of my butt. I usually wore it in ponytails.

As we got to the creek on the other side of the woods, our excitement heightened. It may have had something to do with us being as hot as we were in the heat and biking as hard as we did to get here.

The dock came into sight and we abandoned our bikes on the top of the ridge, running down the grassy knoll as fast as we all could in flip flops. Us girls stripped out of our shorts, and the boys bounded forward ahead of us, only having to kick off their sandals. 

Joey cannonballed off the dock and Willie? Well, he was more of a show off. Willie caught Emma’s eye, winked at her before he got a running start and did a backflip off the dock. Emma laughed, racing after Willie, then jumping off the dock into the water.

Joey was doing laps in the water, something about building endurance, but I have no idea what for. Willie had motioned for Dee and I to hurry up and get in the water.

“Come on, the water is great!” Willie called out to us. Emma then splashed Willie, earning her a splash back in return.

Dee and I exchanged a look, smiling like silly teenaged fools.

Then we were all in the water; playing, laughing, enjoying ourselves. 

Dee and Joey were the first to get out. They found a nice patch of grass to lay down on. I tried not to think too much about whatever they could be doing. My brother was getting too ‘coupley’ with his girlfriend, and that was all I wanted to know about it.

Willie on the other hand was way more innocent. We were all fourteen. Though I know Willie had gone through puberty; his voice dropping and facial hair coming in all patchy (luckily he shaved it on the regular), he was always so sweet and respectful to us girls. Willie always blushed when my brother made dirty jokes and comments. It was the cutest thing I had ever seen.

As the day went on though, I felt more like a third wheel for whatever was going on with Willie and Emma. Granted, I didn't think Emma was aware that Willie was flirting with her, but I knew him. He always came to me, because I was a girl and I knew what girls liked, right? 

As I watched Emma just let Willie show off for her; juggling, rock-skipping, flipping off the dock, and holding his breath under water in record times for someone our age; I realized that she and I couldn’t be more different. She didn’t see him. Not really. She was dazzled by what he can do, but I could tell she has no idea what was at the heart of him. 

At one point, I just climbed onto the dock to sunbathe with my feet dangling over the edge. Feeling the water come up over my ankles felt nice. I put my arm over my eyes. Willie was showing Emma how many skips he could get with rocks. He had gotten to ten so far. She was kind of obnoxiously impressed, but I was just proud of him. Yet another thing I had taught him. All for her.

In the distance I could hear Dee giggling at something my brother either said or did, and I just groaned, rolling my eyes under my arm.

“Joey! Please, for fuck’s sake, don’t make me an aunty yet! We’re only fourteen!” I shouted at my twin.

“Fuck off, Jules!” was the only response I got out of him. Willie and Emma just giggled and I think Emma breathed an ‘Eww’ under her breath.

A few minutes passed and I heard Emma say something panicked. “I can’t believe it, I lost track of time! My dance lesson is at 6pm!”

“It’s 4:38 right now, do you want us to bike back with you?” asked Joey as he looked at the waterproof watch that he had on.

“No, no, I don’t want to take you guys away from your fun. I can manage,” Emma dismissed Joey’s suggestion.

“I can bike with you, if you want Emma,” Willie offered genuinely, the hope of just being able to spend time with her in his voice.

“No, really,” Emma started as she pulled on her shorts, slipping her flip flops back on. “I have to race home and shower, not really fun for anyone. Just stay, enjoy the water more. I gotta go.” She made her way back up the hill towards her bike.

Sitting up on the dock, I twisted around to watch Emma get her bike ready to ride away, Willie in tow. He was between saying goodbye and still offering to go with her. She kept brushing him off to the point where he just stood on the hill, an almost defeated expression on his face.

“Dee and I are gonna go back anyway,” Joey said as he and his girlfriend stood up. Dee grabbed her things and puts them back on. “Willie, stay with Jules, okay?”

Willie just nodded at Joey as they made their way back up to their bikes and followed after Emma.

There was a silence that washed over the space. The breeze made a pleasant rustling sound through the trees. Birds chirped and the water flowed. It was peaceful. Willie and I were alone, finally. Maybe I could tell him how I felt and he’d forget all about Emma.

He walked back down to the dock. Sighing, he sank onto his butt behind me, leaning his back against mine.

“I didn’t know she had dance class today… of all days,” he said quietly. It was his last night staying with Joey and I, I knew he had high hopes for tonight.

Pressing the back of my head against his, I sigh in return. “I know, Willie. But hey, I’m still here. And Joey will be back at the house. I think dad is planning to have a campfire in the back tonight for s’mores.”

I could almost feel Willie smile at that as he leaned against me. “I wish Emma could join us.”

Internally I had to tell myself to bite my tongue. She made him happy and Willie being happy is all I wanted. Unfortunately, I couldn’t help that I didn’t like her. She did not see him. She did not know him. I could always feel how much she looked down her nose at him. ‘Just sweet baby, Willie’ I overheard her say once to a preppy friend of hers at school after she had gotten a letter from him. She infantilized him. I hated it. Maybe I was only just about to start high school, but I knew seeing Willie as less than in the way that she did was just wrong.

Instead of responding to him, lest I say something I didn't mean to say out loud, I just hummed at him. “Emma was telling me that she is going to be taking acting classes at the local theater. She wants to be a movie star. She’ll be the prettiest movie star ever,” Willie gushed with admiration in his voice.

Without meaning to, I groaned. “Willie, can we please talk about fucking anything else, please?” I said, my agitation apparent.

He slowly pushed away from my back, twisting to eye the back of my head. I turn to meet his gaze. 

His expression goes through many emotions; first I see hurt and surprise flash in his eyes, but he shook that off, settling on a questioning smile. “What? Do you not like the theater or something?” He asked, teasing me as if that’s what he believed I might possibly be irritated with.

Groaning again, I get up on the dock, looking down at him. He really is deflecting, thinking it had to be something other than Emma that I could find annoying. He tilted his head up, putting up a hand to shield the sun from his eyes, confusion clear on his face past the squinting.

“Theater? Willie, I love you, but you are fucking dense sometimes,” I said, lifting my arms in exasperation.

Willie scrambled to his feet to meet me at eye level. “I don’t understand. Jules? What did I say?”

“Emma this. Emma that. I know you are in love with her and all that, but can you ever just shut the fuck up about her? Like for once?” I raised my voice at him, making him flinch and take a step back from me.

Lowering his eyes from mine, his bare shoulders sag. “I’m sorry,” he said so quietly that I almost didn’t hear him.

My eyes softened, but only just a bit because he then said, “I was going to tell her how I felt today…”

My anger came back in full force. Scoffing, I pushed past him, leaving him stunned on the dock as I snatched up my shorts and shoes, roughly putting them on.

I stomped up to my bike and I yelled back at Willie without looking at him, “Come on, Joey wanted you to stay with me! I’m going home!”

Just barely did I give him enough time to get his shoes and bike before I was racing through the woods. He had a hard time keeping up with me. I think we were both crying on that bike ride home. It was his last night here for the summer, and all he could think about was Emma. It was always Emma.

MASTER LIST/NEXT

[qsmp-yaoi-island]

Now that Purgatory (round 1??) is over I wanna do a more concise review on it. Warning for possible neg and long post, I just wanna talk about my personal opinion with it:

The event itself: I wanna say first that the most fun part of this event was the CCs. The event itself was... the least fun part. I understand the point of purgatory was to suffer, but from a content creator point you have to take your audience into account. To spend your limited time running back to your body for 30 minutes - 2 hours to get back to your body was just one part of the frustration and then pile people hunting you for points on top of that, it's bound to get people upset. People have already talked about how the biggest problem was the lack of testing for the event, so it they had to balance the event as it was ongoing. The constant changing rules made every victory feel less about skill and more about exploiting the rules/Who had the most people on that day.

Meta vs. Lore: This has been a problem with the qsmp for a while now, but it's never been more apparent with purgatory. All of the hints that were thrown around vague or not about the cursed team caused so much confusion. Cellbit said a really good point about it early on: "Why would they have an event where one team was bound to win? You're grinding for 10 hours each day just to give up and let one team win." <- paraphrased. So we were faced with a conundrum where we're unsure if we take the hints as something to consider in the competition of the game, or just play what the admins intended. And the balancing having to be done by the players for no enchants, lead to a lot of anger over disagreeing with that rule was in rp or not.

Was it worth it the reward?: First impressions, I want to say no. The coming days will probably change my mind but for now to justify two weeks of ten hours a day of grinding for a cliffhanger is pretty defeating. Multiple cc's have said they want a break after how intense this event has been and now they don't really get a reward for it, and will probably have to do it again. The drama was good, the emotions were high, but you cannot keep a story going on hopelessness forever. And now that they're going back to the island it's undetermined how this is gonna effect the characters in lore and feels like again, everything is put on hold for now.

I loved this event, the admins did so well despite it's flaws. My only hope is from here is that things start to get solved, the Eye being introduced at this point has really muddled with all the current mystery of the Fed and Resistance already had going on, and it's spreading out the focus far too much. We need answers not more villains.

That being said I'm excited to see where they take it from here. It really jumpstarted my love for the server all over again: it had tons of good interactions we wouldn't have gotten otherwise, intense gameplay, and tons of good character driven content. But man, I want off this wild ride.

[pumpkinstrawbrew]

Hey! I'm sooooo happy to finally find another person that ships Scarecrow and Batman! This is ship is so underrated and it deserves MUCH more recognition 👏☺️ Also, I love your art and analysis of these characters!

I don't know if you've answered this before, but what do you think about the Arkhamverse version of them? I would prefer Arkham Knight, but if you feel uncomfortable with it, Arkham Asylum is fine (I love both). I don't know what to think of it at the moment and I'm trying to form an opinion!

I hope you have an amazing day!! ❤️❤️

Can I be 🐓 anon if you allow anons?

hello there!! i’m also happy to meet another fellow-minded scarebat believer out there! scarebat is just such a fascinating ship. i’m honestly go uwu when i see other people enjoying it too! this pair indeed deserve more recognition an’ love! an’ aw, heck, thank you! it makes me blush knowing that someone can have fun with those lil, whimsical things i do! 

an’ oh, nope. i didn’t answer this one! arkhamverse’s content is smth that i see circulating around a lot, but i didn’t see much content for that version of scarebat. i guess, the constant choking, an’ ‘get on your knees now, crane’ wasn’t enough to awaken smth in anyone *besides me an’ 2-3 other fine wine enjoyers*. which is once again too bad, bc even design wise, they’re kinda a banger in their own right. whichever version we take, it’s just a good contrast between batman’s heavy armour an’ jon’s typical rags *with some cyber-punk touch later on*. like, while i’m a simple gal who tends to simp for ‘classic’ outlooks, i do appreciate what the game did. gotta love crane’s freddy krueger syringe glove, an’ how he got it embedded into bruce’s neck an’ chest, an’ then got stabbed with it himself lol. there is a lot of homoerotic stuff, which can be done with it! esp bc it’s such a close range weapon, an’ each version of akrham’s crane used it differently. in arkham asylum, he injected the poison into bruce’s arm. the desperate, angry action kinda reminded me of a pissy, bristling animal, that would bite your hand, when if you try to grab it. in the next game, jon was way more vicious, less of a thrashing opossum that you find in your garage an’ more of a snake, that you accidentally step on, while you climbing down your porch. the vast difference between his mental states then an’ later on is an interesting theme for speculations. esp bc bruce is also worse to wear in the next game. in fact, i’d say that arkham knight sorta depicts them at their subjective ‘worst’ almost. an’ it says smth, bc i don’t think that either of them are ever in good mental place. 

i kinda find it interesting how some people would assume, that if person acts cold an’ detached, it means that they’re ‘in control’, when sometimes, it’s the opposite. in bruce’s case for sure. but i’d like this for some versions of crane as well, bc it suits his psychotype as well. not to mention, that jon’s hygiene in arkham knight is at its lowest too, which says a few things about his mental state right off the bat. or how he didn’t seem to properly treat his own wounds, just instantly throwing himself into his biggest scheme. a man truly possessed by revenge. 

but welp, if we go into specifics of each separate version of arkhamverse, i guess, i will start with arkham asylum! my memories about those games are a bit rusty, but i’ll go with what i remember. providing more emphasis on arkham knight, since they do have more going on an’ you seem more interested in that specific version too! 

still, first things first, i love how jonathan was half-naked during the first game lol. it’s just so funny to me, bc he is usually covered from head to toe, but in there, he was shirtless, wearing pants that held for dear life on those skinny hips an’ i’ll bet dude had nothing underneath them either. he’s never was the most proper person, admittingly, but idk, running around the dirty asylum an’ hunting your enemy while showing off your nips an’ stomach is…smth else. esp for a prude like crane. but i guess, at that point of time, he seemed to be so deranged, that his usual body issues no longer worried him. besides, poison ivy walked around in her underwear an’ blouse that was held together by one durable button, why can’t he do the same? it’s not like batman would comment on it, even if he wanted to. but like, honestly, all the hints of possible spooky + sexy times were there, so it’s a shocker, that no one has done anything about it yet. i mean, you literally have jonathan, who was flashing the bat for 20 minutes straight, an’ it’s not smth that the majority of cranes would ever have the guts to do in any other set-up. btas an’ comicverse ones would downright combust, before they’d be walking around batman shirtless. but not that gremlin. he was all about it. even if i do think, that he wasn't fully aware about what it means, an’ that it’s kinda embarrassing to do smth like that, while you are trying to be intimidating. he’s not bane. it’s not like he has some crazy muscular mass to show off. but it is very stimulating to think about the ways it all can be used in. the cold bat’s armour to exposed skin of a spooky toothpick. batman grips scarecrow’s clothes, when they fight. in there, it’ll be almost all naked skin. that’s a sexy imagery to have! 

as for the substance of the arkham asylum on itself, i don’t think that scarecrow was in there a lot. but then again, maybe i just remember it this way. it is however curious how fast crane goes from campy looney to more serious, jarred person, we see in the next game. an’ his whole motivation shifts from ‘you’re just like us and have fears’ to ‘there is no saviour. no hope’. almost like he was very, very let down, when batman failed to save him that one time lol. but considering that arkhamverse kept jonathan’s comic origin, it’s safe to assume that yeah, he took that very-very personally. he isn’t the joker, who kinda never brings up how many times, batman casually let him ‘die’. the btas alone has like 3 occasions like that lmao. meanwhile, jon went into a scornful cold rage, after just one epic fail, which, at the end of the day, is very him lol. the drugged up bat didn’t save him, that’s it. no one’s supremacy, fuck gotham. an’ i’m only partly jeering here. 

which leads us straight to to arkham knight version, an’ to bruce instantly going up there an’ choking the living hell out of jon, the second he sees him. what a reunion! esp with that whole head hitting an’ throwing crane onto floor, like a ragdoll. batman just had to assert his dominance, even when jonathan barely opened his mouth. *bc yeah, you stay down, bottom*. i like how crane tried his hardest to be serious an’ imposing during that whole deal, but the bat just wasn't super amused. yet, like usual, he did give the scarecrow room to speak later on. allowing him to walk around him. an’ boy, gotta appreciate that ‘bad guy's sly hips play’ as scarecrow circled the bat. it was quite a vision. even with fucked up leg, he managed to pull that off. i wish there were more moments like this. they had a lot of potential for more brutal scarebat interactions, than some other versions of them. all the cues for it were there. batman was hallucinating a ghost of a dead clown, who wouldn’t shut up about whatever, an’ jonathan was all about his ‘end goal’, not caring what he had to do to get to it. what an explosive combo. i was low-key surprised, that bruce didn’t wipe the floor with crane just out of pure frustration, an’ then some. an’ considering how fucked up they both are in that version, it wouldn’t put it past the ghost!joker to suggest they’d do smth else with crane, if batman is unwilling to kill him. there is actually a lot of leeway, with bruce blaming some stuff on his personal brain damage, while joker just keeps on pouring gasoline into the fire. i even had this one idea about the joker playing a horrible matchmaker just to make everyone even more miserable, but mostly just bruce. all while not expecting crane to be able to return the sentiment in his own messed up manner. 

an’ speaking of sentiment, i do think that it can be here as well. it’ll be buried under layers an’ layers of pseudo-resentment, but that’s like typical scarebat. no one ever talk about their real emotions in that ship lol. well, not in a normal way. in arkham knight, i suppose the joker can be a narrator of bruce an’ crane’s relationships. not missing a beat to tell them *well, bruce* how much they suck. an’ he won’t even be wrong, batman abandoning some of his duties, bc well, this. an’ crane as per usual getting confused by feelings, that isn’t hatred or fear. they can enter those intense relationships with the worst kind of miscommunication. bc they awful at it, when they’re not super unstable *or at least one of them isn’t*, an’ now they can be godawful at it, bc batman is close to breaking point, an’ jonathan is at his bitterests an’ pettiest. crane also can assume, that he can ‘unmade’ the bat this way, all while messing up his own scheme in the process. with god’s help, they might even survive this. idk about gotham tho lol. the joker being a third wheel an’ technically a cuck in that situation just adds how messed up it all is. but maybe with jon’s ‘help’, they can deal with that problem too. i don’t think, crane would like to share in any way. i mean, he would have been pissed off, if he learned that batman had a mini-devil on his shoulder the whole time. in a way, it kinda defeats the purpose of it all. it would almost like taking all the credit from him, an’ he won’t stand for it. crane combating bruce’s personal ghosts for his own selfish, possessive needs is smth, i would have liked to see for them. jonathan accidently being a good psychiatrist to bruce is my peak scarebat dark comedy. similar to how in ‘kings of fear’, it was basically ‘i can fix him, but bitch, you’re worse’ kind of deal too. in return, bruce can try an’ help crane actually put some proper garnet for his leg on, an’ look a bit less like a sickly *even if scary-spooky-cool* animal. they can find some middle ground, even if for questionable reasons, or they can have that slow-burn from enemies to lovers thing too. heck, i mean, it’s a wonder how come that scarecrow didn’t kidnap bruce first to try an’ break him a tad more, before making gotham see ‘that they had no hope’ an’ all that. 

on less game plot related notes, i do like to play around with what can be done about jon’s state in arkham knight. like his face being all messed up, half of his body moving way more stiffly, there are a lot of things that can be done with it. an’ the parallel of batman being crippled on the inside an’ crane being pretty much this an’ then also damaged outside of it….mmm, that’s just good. also we all know that nolanverse crane moaned ‘batman’ like a whore while his hair were pulled, but what about arkham knight’s scarecrow lil gay gasps an’ whimpers, when bruce held him by the throat an’ injected him with his own toxin? if gordon an’ jason weren’t there, i wonder what might have happened lol. love scarecrow’s scared expressions in that game btw, somehow they still manage to make him look cute. 

an’ now for a bit of nitpicky bit. when i look back at arkham knight, like some other folks, i do wish there was less…joker in it. he did add some fun elements there or here, but he should have been a background segment tbh. i really wanted to see more of mindbending stuff similar to level in arkham asylum. batman ‘given into’ hallucination joker’s cheers to kill crane, even if it was all a mindfuck bit was tasteless for me. if they wanna make bruce kinda walk that route, i’d rather see him doing it by his own misgivings an’ rage. tho, i do give credit where it’s duo, crane saying ‘you’ve changed’ an’ not sounding esp thrilled about it was curious smth. 

but omg, that’s got long, haha. hope, it’s not too troublesome. i’m kinda chatty an’ rambly kind of person, esp when i talk about things i love. can’t talk short in most cases. 

thank you for the ask btw! i do enjoy talking about scarebat a lot, no matter what version. an’ i hope, that your day is going great as well! i do apologise for how late some of my responses are coming through. i tend to pick at questions for a couple of days or so, just to make sure that i kinda give it my utmost thoughts, haha. hopefully, my answer helped you to form your own vision on the matter better or gave you an idea how different / similar you see smth, when it comes to those two. 

an’ sure thing! that’s a cute symbole btw!

[alpaca-clouds]

Let me try to explain this...

Okay, let me try to explain something. And let me try on a personal level here.

I am bisexual. And while I am a guy, I only came out as trans when I was like 30, so I lived 30 years as a bisexual woman. Because I was out as bisexual when I was like... 11.

And do you know how most guys I have ever dated reacted to it? "OMG! We could have a threesome!"

Of course, if you have followed me for a while, you know that I very much am in favor of moresomes, both as a one-off or a constant thing. Buuut... This still always felt super, super gross to me. Do you want to know why?

Because they saw my sexuality, something that is a very inherent part of myself, as a thing they could use to fulfill their desires. They saw this aspect of me as a tool they could use for themselves. And that is fucking disgusting.

Anyways... This is why I hate playersexuality in video games. Aka "oh, the characters are bisexual, so everyone can romance them". So, the stuff that a lot of modern CRPGs do. Be it Baldur's Gate 3 or Starfield or... Well, you can probably think of several other examples. Because in most of those cases the characters are not really written as bisexual. Their supposed "bisexuality" is just a tool to fulfill the disires of the players. It is not even part of the characters, it is just a tool. And to me, as a bisexual guy, this is fucking offensive.

If you want to make your characters bisexual? Well, then go ahead and write the characters as bisexual. Put it into the text that the characters are bisexual. Put in the effort.

In other forms of media we do not let the creators get away with "well, X is actually Y-sexual", when the text itself does not make it clear. We will call out the writers, directors and showrunners trying to pull this off as cowards, because we kinda know that this sexuality is not in the text to make sure there will not be angry conservatives about "people pushing queerness down their throats". Or because they were too lazy to write it and do the legwork for it.

So, why the fuck are we okay with it, when games do it?

To keep the example with BG3: If you do not play the game as a female character that goes on to romance Astarion and do not enjoy meta-content, you would have no way of knowing that Astarion is "supposed" to be pan. Because he is written as a gay character (by which I am talking about that each and every prior relationship he mentions has been with a man). The same goes in turn with Gale and Shadowheart. If you do not play as a male charater to romance either of them, you will come away from the game and read them as a straight man and a lesbian respectively. Because there is nothing within the text to suggest otherwise.

Their "bisexuality" just exists, so that no players are disappointed that they cannot romance a character. And maybe to make programming easier.

And again, the same is very much true for a lot of other CRPGs. Starfield comes to mind, like most Bathesda games. I mean, it is not quite the same, as for the most part the characters in Bathesda games read more like they do not have any sexuality at all (the fact, that the games are very squeaky clean on the sexual front most certainly plays into it). But the problem is very much the same.

To me it just reads as super biphobic. Because it feels like they can use bisexuality to serve their purpose.

I am fine with the characters being bisexual. No matter what game. But then actually put in the work to write them as bisexual. Make it part of their story. Don't just slap the "bisexual" label onto them, so they can be romanced by whoever.

[cenviswasteland]

okay from best to worst top three! klapollo krisnix wrightworth go!! with explanations duh - 💾

oh guess what i just found in the bottom of my drafts. sorry floppy disk you asked me this in march and now its almost june. my bad pestie

anyway i would LOVE to. im gonna cut the post here because it ended up getting pretty damn long and i wanna save the mobile users some pain

[[[hey welcome back thanks for clicking a button]]]

a little preface first: i don't think any of them are the "worst". im a multiship freak and i think all three of these are best and worst in their own way. id love more info on what you MEAN by "best to worst" because that's so very vague. do you mean in terms of relationship dynamic? do you mean in terms of personal perception? do you mean how much i like them?? since i have no idea what exactly youre asking me here, im just gonna shove a whole bunch of headcanons in your face and hope for the best. xoxo follow me

3rd place - Wrightworth / Narumitsu

the iconic, original gangster, blah blah blah. forever cute. theyre just kind of a little bland to me. like i feel as tho we've explored basically everything there is to explore in wrightworth with the exception of the seven year gap? eh maybe thats a terrible take who knows. theyre still lovely tho i love the seemingly constant stream of gayass lawyers on my feed. everybody loves narumitsu!

2nd place - Klapollo

i really don't have much to say about klapollo either. theyre cute as hell and they definitely have a lot more to ponder on (considering that the only game we really get klavier in is AA4 [no DD doesnt count klavs ass got fucking Visited and he was written so poorly thats NOT my klavier gavin]). and generally speaking im an AA4 fiend its my favorite game in the entire series and so im biased. also, another pretty constant stream of gay lawyer content. shout out to hyundere who made like constant beautiful klapollo content until the One Piece happened lol [im a one piece enjoyer too dont come for me this is not criticism]

1st place - Krisnix

my GOD krisnix. theres a lot of things that go into me enjoying krisnix, but the biggest one is the fact that they have the fucking wackiest, least defined relationship in all of AA4. (also, another AA4 exclusive lol). with the 7yg in play, theres so much room to play around. and most of krisnix really exists in their questions and the vagueness of their relationship. theres like a billion things to ask. how does this relationship develop? how did they meet? what were they like for seven years? what led up to phoenix suspecting kristoph in, yknow, the Everything that happened in AA4? what kind of relationship did they even have? were they "friends" that just happened to pull each other into their gravity? were they holding hands and cuddling every night? were they practically strangers until one of them needed to "blow off steam"?

and not to mention these people are both private/secretive as HELL (phoenix is probably the cagiest man ive ever seen ever. and kristoph, aside from being a man with a fucking army of skeletons in his closet, gets an unfortunately small amount of screentime in the game and not a lot of time to get into the meat of his character/backstory [see: black psyche-locks]). that adds another layer. they certainly dont talk about each other. so how did... All Of This happen?

SO. MANY. QUESTIONS. and in general i like my ships a little more "toxic". and i mean. if you know ANYTHING about AA4, krisnix is pretty mutually toxic. i could totally make another post tearing into the inner guts of their dynamic and relationship-- hell, i could probably make FIVE.

moral of the story: krisnix forever. poggies.

anyway yeah i hope this uh. answered all your questions? how the hell do you end a tumblr post

[starrbar]

Alright, I was encouraged by the smol family of HeroKel shippers on here, so now that I have my ass in order, here's the Headspace Abuse AU I spawned out of some horny energy last month. xD

CONTENT WARNINGS: Physical abuse, neglect, gaslighting(?), spiders, brocon/incest if you choose to see it ;3 Also spoilers for Omori!

If you stumble across this post as someone who despises this kind of content, I sincerely apologize for that. I don't intend to main-tag this, but I'm not 100% positive how tagging works on Tumblr anymore. The Read More should cover that though. Have a nice day!

In one of the playthroughs of Omori I really like, they have this ongoing joke where Kel is just bullied all the time, especially by Hero and Aubrey.  Every time Kel says anything, Hero says stuff like, "Kel, I'm going to BEAT YOU when we get home" or "Ohh Keeeel, I'm getting the BELT!!" and it's just met with Kel screaming, "NOOOO NOT AGAIN PLEASE!" and everyone's laughing about it and stuff.  And man, I'm REALLY not usually into any kind of incest kinks (just personally not my thing), but I'd lowkey be fine with an rp/fic where Hero just abuses Kel all the time and has him basically trained to obey and cower out of fear. x'D

Adding onto that, I also had so much fun with the Basil deaths in Black Space, so now I just imagine like Basil is the Kenny of the group, and he just dies horrible deaths all the time and comes back later, and no one even bats an eye beyond giggling or saying, "Oh wow, he's gonna feel that in the morning, tee hee!"

And then when Basil goes missing, Hero and Aubrey start putting Kel through a lot more shit because even they they don't really notice it, Basil's constant deaths and pained screaming do keep them pretty entertained.

Omori isn't phased by any of it ofc, since he's kiiiind of the one pulling the strings here.

I'm not sure how Mari would respond to everything.  Maybe it would be funny if she just acted like she always does and almost as if the stuff happening is just silly goofy bickering or stubbed toes, and she'll say stuff like, "Awww, don't worry, Basil!  All you have to do for a spider bite is (I don't even know, but like generic advice for a single, non-venonous spider bite)!"  And Basil is just like, "-gross sobbing- O-okay...!" while being devoured alive by a billion spiders or chomped in half by a giant one ahahaha.

Then she'll tell Kel, "Aww, Hero got mad at you?  Well... you did step on his foot after all.  But just apologize and talk it over and I'm sure he'll come around in no time! ^u^" and this is like, what you tell someone if all the angry person did was snap at them or get upset and leave for a bit.  But Hero literally broke a branch off the nearest tree and beat Kel with it until it broke lmao.

It's like... ultra horrific tbh?  But I kind of love soaking in more of that type of freaky shit.  It's almost appealing BECAUSE it's the absolute last thing that should ever be happening??

Kel is an absolute sweetie and deserves the world, Hero is a kind and patient big brother who immediately apologized and improved himself the one time he was ever really mean to Kel, and Aubrey is honestly a very good person despite putting on an edgy face when she got older and trying to push people away.  She's never out to truly hurt anyone.

So it's kinda fun to twist them up in this awful way, especially since the game itself kind of already did most of the work for me and all I did was enjoy that and also take a meme from a video series and run with it.

I mean holy shit, there's legit a whole scene in Black Space where Basil's DW friends all beat him to death and then act like everything is normal and fun. It's CANON, and everything I wrote here is of a similar caliber, just with the invitation to view it as abusive shipping if the reader desires.

Basically I'm roleplaying with myself and enjoying the sadistic story I end up with x'D

[codexnuminous]

Eskew 2. Reproduction

I am in Eskew episode 2 - thoughts.

"It's as if a hostage video has been assembled of my own history." Wow.

Again: constant rain. What is the relation between Eskew and the rain? Water can be a mirror, but one that can distort the reflection shown, much like David's pictures.

I don't recall anything about airports in the last episode, and this one does not appear to be about Eskovian at all (which is disappointing, as I was looking forward to learning about the language.) So the implication is that David records many episodes, but we hear only a few - the most horrifying, perhaps?

The Crime Department is based on the 12th floor. David (and formerly, the Lifestyle team) is based on the 14th floor. What's on the 13th floor? Is there a 13th floor at all?

"Ripples across black water." Hmm...

No-one seems to have names in Eskew they're all either referred to by what they do- Correspondence Editor, Senior Custodian, Architect- or what they are- How and Why. No-one except David Ward.

The workers didn't just "walk out", did they.

Why is "An act of redemption for his superiors watching from abroad" repeated? Is this just my podcast player acting strangely, or have others noticed it as well?

So. David agrees to everything the Architect says. Promises not to tell a soul. Then he tells us the whole story on a transmission, with the intent of making this public information. Does he just not care about this man at all? He said earlier that he "didn't know if he was real at all, or just a shape the City had conjured up". Is this that paranoia, that mistrust and disbelief coming out again? Or is it just that he doesn't really think anyone will ever actually hear this story, and hence doesn't feel that he is betraying the Architect's confidence?

"The singleminded focus of schoolchildren at play". That's an odd choice of words. When I think of children playing, I don't think of focus, especially not the type of focus David seems to be implying - I think of freedom and flightiness, a sense of enjoyment and constantly shifting fluid rules and stories within the confines of a game. When I think of schoolkids, specifically, at play, I think of fleeting joy. I think of happiness in the moment, with the looming knowledge of an impending return to lessons, that would bring about the end of such play.

Again - distorted reflections.

Amazing! What a scene. Picture this - after searching through the City, you finally convince someone - an Architect of the place, no less - to take you into the mysterious and offputting Gallery/temple. After ignoring all of the prior foreshadowing, you suddenly realise that this may have been a bad idea. The man who brought you here reaches into his pocket, and your mind is full of vision of him murdering you with a butcher's knife. Instead, he pulls out a piece of paper, crumples it into a ball, and dramatically throws it through a doorway. You try and act impressed. Bravo! 11/10. I had to take a long pause here and just truly appreciate that - if the episode ended here, that would be enough, and I would be content. Unfortunately, I can see that that there is more than half the episode still to go, so presumably some more horrible stuff is going to happen to David. Poor David.

This is interesting - he clearly admits he is lying here, while earlier he doesn't even acknowledge it. Is it that he knows he is lying now, while before he still believed himself to be telling the truth? Perhaps still believes he's telling the truth? Hmm...

This is wonderful - I love bizarre architecture.

Like some enormous, awful labyrinth.

Oh. So they did walk out. Well - some of them.

Is this How and Why again? Like two pictures put together...Hmm...

Now this is really quite scary.

I think you should leave too, David.

Burn the Blueprint! Destroy it! Get rid of it somehow!

I'm glad to see that David is connecting with someone. It's good to have people you can talk with. I can't wait to see how it all goes horribly wrong.

I knew it! The paper ball returns!

It's not going to be safe, is it.

Oh no. No it is not. David, there were four steps leading to the monster's lobby! There are four steps now! You are not safe at all!

1117- is this an important number? I wonder...

Run, David, Run!

Oh no oh no oh no oh no

A monster made of charcoal, or perhaps ink. Art, freed from any frames or canvasses. Hmm...

Wow. That was Something.

And we come back to the water. David's memories from before Eskew have been Distorted - as if seen through rough or rippling water. Meanwhile, his memories of Eskew have been/are being Submerged - as if they are in the depths of the water, hidden just out of view below the surface - or perhaps David is the one in the water, with his memories just out of reach. Hmm...